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cupidjyu · 7 months

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clair de lune

changmin x reader

summary: you and changmin are polar opposites in the dance studio. you're graceful and with a "perfect" image while he goes off on his own way, experimenting with different styles. you hate him and want nothing to do with him. until he chooses you to be his partner in a duet.

genre: dance rivals au, their dance styles are opposites (ballet/hiphop etc), enemies to lovers ish, unknowing pining, self-esteem issues (stop self projecting!), slight hurt/comfort, if you ever watched pride and prejudice (2005) you will recognize scenes, "moonlight" notes: based on the classical song clair de lune, fun fact: i can play the piano! also ik u want me to open requests but gimme like another two weeks to not be exhausted from studies PFF hope you enjoy! word count: 13k (it just keeps growing im sorry)

“Again.”

Wiping off the bead of sweat that traveled agonizingly slow on your forehead, you glanced at the woman—your instructor who was also the bane of your existence–with a furrowed brow. She only stared at you sternly, causing you to sigh with frustration as you turned back to the mirror.

You stretched your arms, trying to make that picture-perfect angle that would satisfy her, and then you pointed your toes, just like you had been told to do since you were young. And then you began to move, your fingers outstretched, your back in a neutral position, and your shoulders–

“Again.”

And this time, you couldn’t constrain the groan that escaped from your lips. You let your muscles relax as you broke out of position to face her with a slightly annoyed frown.

She marked something on her clipboard. Oh, how you hated that clipboard. You once took a glance at it and you had almost cried in bed for the next two days over her incredibly harsh remarks. Constructive criticism, she would say. That… that was just bullying in your opinion.

“Are you giving up?” She practically barked, her voice loud and obnoxious.

“I’m not–” You rolled your ankle, making sure you didn’t injure it. “I’m just tired. We’ve been practicing for hours.” And then you turned your neck, slightly wincing at the pang of soreness.

You could’ve sworn her eye twitched as she faked a smile. “For hours because you’re simply not adequate enough to–”

“I am,” You interrupted, your face contorting with exasperation.

She gazed at you with slight surprise. And then she sighed, running a hand through her graying hair.

“Then why do you keep messing up?” She spoke softly this time, but it was enough to shoot straight through your heart.

“Because I–” You bit your lip, looking down at your pointe shoes. You couldn’t even finish your own sentence because you yourself weren’t sure.

Your instructor stood up, picking up her bag with heavy eyes. “At this rate,” She exhaled lowly. “I might have to give this solo to someone else.”

You widened your eyes and you were immediately rushing to her, hands clasped together. “No, please,” You pleaded. “I– I promise I’ll perfect this. No mistakes. Promise.” You emphasized the last word so clearly that it echoed throughout the room.

She stared at you with skepticism.

“Then go,” She uttered. “Start practicing. In two days’ time will be your evaluation and then we’ll decide.”

With a huff of determination, you watched as she opened the door and left. Turning back to the mirror, it was then that you realized just how worn out you looked. Your hair was a mess, the front pieces slightly sticking to your forehead from the “practicing for hours,” which you weren’t exaggerating about at all. Your cheeks were flushed from the constant activity. But despite this, you rolled your ankle once again and began to dance.

Vigorously.

A bit too vigorously.

Every twist and turn started to become more sloppy, more painful. As the song progressed, you found yourself stumbling more and more over your own feet and your lungs began to feel like they would collapse in on itself.

But you kept going, determined to keep this solo that you’ve worked so hard to get a spot for.

And it was going well! Amazing actually! Or maybe you were just telling yourself that because soon after your fake words of affirmation came the tripping of your feet and the falling of your whole body against the floor. Your shoulders stiffened as your hands came in contact with the floor and you groaned.

Luckily, you weren’t exactly hurt anywhere. But you were frustrated. Your friend would always tell you to just take a break but you couldn’t afford that. Instead, you made a move to get up again until your eyes wandered over to where a water bottle had rolled its way over to you.

Still completely agitated, your hand closed around it and threw it as far away as you could. You watched it skid, all the way down until it hit someone’s shoes. Pointe shoes were nowhere to be seen. Just simple sneakers. And you knew exactly who it was.

“Just when I thought I was being nice,” Changmin hummed, picking the bottle up. “Guess this is mine then.”

His voice was just so… cocky at the moment that you couldn’t help but glare up at him as if to non-verbally tell him to just leave.

The two of you were different. Not just from the pointe shoes and sneakers or from the tight balletwear and the comfortable t-shirt. It was just a lot. While you specialized in the more graceful choreographies and genres like ballet and contemporary, he was the more powerful, sharper one who thrived in hip-hop, popping and the like. And while you spent most of your time perfecting intricate moves, he was frequently finding ways to make his performance more… out there.

Polar opposites, some people would say.

The only thing that you two had in common was being popular. Not your biggest feat, in your opinion, but it was the truth. In the dance studio, if either of your names were spoken, it was immediately recognized. The both of you were praised, criticized, and talked about on the daily, whether you liked it or not.

Opposites attract, was what other people would say.

But that wasn’t true. At least for the two of you.

He was just so… arrogant.

“You look worse for wear,” He remarked with an amused smile.

“Thanks for pointing that out,” You snapped, brushing yourself off as you stood up, wincing at the forming bruise on your knee. “What are you doing here?”

“Walking by,” He simply replied.

“You could have just walked by the room then. Not in it.” You took that extra second to look him over. He must have been heading for practice because unlike you, he wasn’t sweaty and didn’t look like a mess. His hair softly fell over his forehead and he had those typical bulky headphones that he always wore to ignore you around his neck.

He smirked. “Just wanted to see how horrible you were doing.”

Fuming, you completely threw away the thought that he looked particularly nice that day. Clenching a fist, all the failed moves in the mirror came rushing back to your vision like waves of the ocean.

“Satisfied? Did you see all the mistakes I made?” You bitterly laughed. It was often just bickering with him. But with your instructor’s voice ringing through your ears obnoxiously, you couldn’t help but snap. With a sigh, you motioned to the door harshly. “Great. So leave.”

You had expected him to retort back. But instead, he just looked at you with an incomprehensible expression. And then his eyes traveled down to the water bottle still in his hand. Out of nowhere, he threw it to you and you scrambled to catch it.

“At least take this,” He replied quietly, no malice behind his tone.

To say you were confused was an understatement. “Did you put anything in this?”

He laughed. “What? A love potion?”

“No,” You sputtered, toying with the cap of it. “Like a sleeping potion or–”

“And who’s going to take care of you when you’re asleep?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You.” You glared with narrowed eyes.

“You’re funny,” He sarcastically replied.

“Are you too much of an asshole to?” A smile tugged on your lips. “Is that why?”

“I’m perfectly capable.” He rolled his eyes. “Just not for you.”

You nodded, fully expecting his answer. And then you jabbed a finger at the door. “Get out then. I need to practice.” Without bidding him goodbye, not even a single wave, you turned around to start the music again.

But then you heard his voice again, calling out to you from across the practice room.

“Moonlight.”

At first, you just thought that he was rambling, saying random things to bother you. But he said it again when you didn’t respond.

“Moonlight,” He said again, a teasing tone suddenly appearing in his voice. With an annoyed exhale, you turned to face him. That was when you came to the revelation that he was addressing you. As moonlight.

“Me?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yes, you.” He tilted his head slightly. “Good luck with your practice, moonlight.”

Your hand was already raising, threatening to throw the music speaker into his face. “Don’t call me tha–”

“Moonlight,” He repeated. “This song. Clair de lune?”

“What about it?” You eyed him suspiciously.

His gaze searched yours silently for a moment. You’ve always hated it when the two of you locked eyes. It always left you feeling weird inside. Agitated, probably.

“It means moonlight. Which… reminds me of you.”

If you weren’t so exhausted, you would have noticed the way he nervously fumbled for the door and you also would have noticed his small stumble out into the hallway.

–

The lights blared across your vision and the bass of the music pounded from your stomach, all the way down to your ears which only worsened your growing headache. You dreaded this party. But, no matter how many times you complained about it, it happened every single year. Annually, it was a good luck party for those performing at the recital.

You didn’t want to go and you usually never did. But since that solo was meant for the recital, you had forced yourself to dress up and finally open that party invitation with the gold lettering.

You kept to yourself, occasionally waving at fellow dancers and friends. But even while there was a particular amount (read: a lot) of people questioning you about your performance and whether you were dating a famous celebrity (you weren’t), you managed to slip away and grab a drink.

You couldn’t even tell the color of the liquid because of the bright lights flashing about. But hey, at least it tasted good. Weaving through the crowd, you were desperate to find a more secluded place. But that was when you ran into someone.

Him.

Changmin. Of course, you rolled your eyes, he would be here. He had a performance too. Which frankly, you didn’t care about. At all.

Your eyes skimmed over him for a moment, taking in his party attire. His hair was finally styled up and you were almost jealous over how well the purple lights complimented him.

He looked at you with slight surprise before schooling his expression into something obnoxious. Or teasing. You couldn’t quite tell.

“How’s the solo going?” He spoke with an amused smile. Thankfully, the music had died down. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you had to lean even closer to him just to hear his infuriating insults.

“Amazing,” You immediately replied, maybe too fast and not very convincing. It had gone badly. Fewer mistakes but still much too many. But who were you to tell him that? Not when he would use that as his new monthly taunt. And out of sheer politeness, you smiled disdainfully. “Are you performing?”

He raised an eyebrow at your obviously faked, higher-pitched voice.

“Drop the formalities.” He shook his head. “But yeah and it’s going to be better than yours. Though, I’m missing a dance partner.”

“A duet?” You tilted your head in confusion.

He nodded, a small, amused smile appearing on his lips. “Why, desperate to sign up?”

“No,” You retorted, scoffing. “Why would I ever want to dance with you?”

He simply shrugged with a smile, which only infuriated you more. With a huff, you stepped forward, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I hope you know that dancing with you is like stepping on a piece of dog sh–” You were interrupted. By your own yelp of all things. It was a common occurrence that when interacting with Changmin, you often forgot your surroundings. It was like this cloud of anger engulfed you constantly.

For example, right now, you completely forgot that you were at a party.

A guy dancing, probably having the time of his life, suddenly bumped into you, causing you to stumble over your own feet. At that point, you sort of just gave up, choosing to accept the embarrassment. But, that was when you felt a hand rush to your side to steady you.

It only briefly brushed against your waist but it sent sparks down your whole spine. Inhaling sharply, you snapped your head to look at Changmin.

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“What?” He stared at you. “Nothing.”

“You touched me,” You spoke in utter disbelief. The feeling of his fingertips just merely grazing you left you stuttering and you weren’t quite sure why.

“So you don’t fall flat on your face,” He muttered, leaning closer, right up to your ear. Immediately, you were engulfed by his cologne that… much to your demise, smelled really good. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your pretty face.”

You felt your mouth go dry and you harshly pulled away, swallowing thickly. And now, you were incredibly grateful for the bright lights of the party because you couldn’t bear for him to notice your embarrassed expression. Visibly or not, you weren’t sure. Your cheeks felt oddly warm though.

“Well, I hope you–” You cursed yourself for stumbling over your words. “I hope you ruin your… your horrific face.” God, you mentally slapped yourself.

He only grinned. And this time, his hand actually closed around your waist. At first, you thought he was teasing again but you realized that yet again, someone was going to bump into you.

“Don’t lie,” He whispered, quiet enough only for you to hear.

“I’m not.” But your voice wavered.

“Definitely.” His lips pulled up into a teasing smile–one that you couldn’t help but think was attractive–and he walked away.

With a groan, you fixed your clothes and turned around. You let out a low breath, completely overwhelmed by the sight. The crowd was larger than before and the music only increased in volume. And so, holding a hand to your chest–ignoring the weird pounding of your heartbeat from… past events–you navigated through the bout of dancing and laughing people.

At some point, you found yourself in another room, the thumping music only heard through the walls. No matter if you were one of the most popular, successful dancers of the studio, you were still closed off. Like right now, you were pretty sure your instructor would ridicule you for literally hiding behind the curtains, sipping another drink.

Leaning your head back against the wall, you allowed yourself a deep breath as you tried to forget everything. The struggle of your dance routine, the immense and loud party, him and his stupid playful smile.

But of course, that same him happened to pop up again. But this time, he was with Juyeon. Juyeon was a sweet man and you didn’t mind conversing with him. You had seen the way he danced powerfully yet gracefully at the same time despite his long limbs. His only flaw was that he was friends with… him.

“You still haven’t found a partner?” In the corner of your eye, they walked by, causing you to hide further.

Changmin sighed. “I’m trying.”

“What about Y/n?” Juyeon asked, nudging him with a small smile. “They seem suitable. Beautiful too.”

Your rival paused in his tracks, turning to Juyeon with an unimpressed look.

“Beautiful, but completely intolerable.”

It took all of your willpower not to jump out and throw your glass cup straight into your face. You were about to be flattered, maybe even confront him and tease him for calling you beautiful. But to counter that right after with intolerable?

You hated him.

–

The party was slowly dying down, now reduced to slow music for those couples who kissed in the hallways. You would think they stopped that after high school but apparently they still do so now. You were sure you looked like a mess but you couldn’t care less as you spotted Changmin in the background, leaning against the wall and simply observing the crowd.

Approaching him, you stood next to him. He only regarded you with a glance.

“What about her?” You spoke up, gesturing to a girl. She was talented, most definitely. You’d seen her do all sorts of dances, specializing in the art of tango which you admired.

“Helping me now?” He muttered.

You ignored his question, choosing to stare ahead. With a sigh, he shook his head.

“Her style is completely different from mine. So no.”

“That’s what you look for?” You scrunched up your face. “You know it’s boring when your styles are exactly the same.”

He turned to you and you tried to ignore the fact that when his hair was slightly disheveled and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, he didn’t look half bad. Still, his looks didn’t quite fit his irritating personality.

“Then what should I look for in a dance partner?” He looked at you, bored.

You thought for a moment. And then you let your hand trail down to his sleeve. Grasping the fabric, you pulled him closer.

“Someone who compliments your own dancing,” You whispered. He stared down at you in surprise. This time, his expression wasn’t an act to make you annoyed. His wide eyes, lips parted… were all real as his gaze traveled across your features, gulping nervously. “Even if…” You paused, marveling in the way his cheeks flushed under the party lighting. “They’re completely intolerable.”

He inhaled, about to walk forward. “Y/n–”

But you were already stepping away, creating that distance that you were most familiar with.

–

Often, dance played out in steps. One-two, one-two-three, et cetera, et cetera. The wave of your arms and the placement of your feet moved in these rhythmical steps. Or at least, you tried to get them to move in the right rhythm. It seemed that the only thing that was on time was the fast pace of your breath.

Breathing heavily, you stood up to face your three evaluators. Two of them had a somewhat satisfied look on their face, barely writing anything on their clipboards. But one… her. You grimaced, remembering the sight of her constantly picking up her pen in the middle of your routine, even frowning and shaking her head.

Your hair was messy and probably damp with sweat from the vigorous evaluation but you still stood tall. Up until that one word, that left everything crashing down on you.

“Out.”

Stricken, you turned to face your own instructor.

“What?” You stuttered.

She stabbed her clipboard with the pen, tip down. “I said, you’re out,” She spoke in an obnoxiously calm voice. “I already found someone else to take your spot the other day.”

“But I–” You sighed in frustration, stepping forward, ignoring the searing pain of your joints from all the constant practicing that resulted in absolutely nothing. “I tried so hard for this. You taught me this solo, how could you–”

“I’m sorry,” She interrupted firmly. “Next time, Y/n.”

You watched each of them. There was some sense of remorse behind their expression but you could see something else. Something that pertained to… greed, money. You always knew that this dance studio–with its esteem and popularity–always would have those people who bought their way in. Those people who wanted your solo so badly that they obtained it with a simple check from their bank.

But you couldn’t change anything about that. So, with a deep breath–one that was concerningly shaky–you stepped backwards to the door.

“Fine,” You muttered. “It’s fine.”

Before you could even register it yourself, you were running out the door, the sound of it slamming behind you. Again, like those rhythmical steps, you tried to breathe in and out, tried to compose yourself. But, as soon as you turned the corner, away from any watchful eyes, you found yourself sliding down the wall.

Bringing your knees up to your chest, you buried your face in your arms, allowing a few tears to slip. It was refreshing, really. You were always expected to be the perfect, most graceful dancer of the studio. But sometimes, it was hard to keep that up.

You let yourself relax, sniffling occasionally as you remembered all the hard work that turned into pointless frowns, sighs, and pen-writing. But then the sound of footsteps approached you. Still, you didn’t bother to look up.

“How’s the solo going?” A familiar, dreadful voice. You felt the warmth of a shoulder bump against yours as the person sat down next to you. Even through your muted ears, you could hear the thump of his head as he set it back against the wall.

With an exhausted exhale, you looked up, only to come face-to-face with Changmin. You already knew it was him but just the sight of your rival still brought you a scowl as you looked back down into your lap.

“Is that the only way to start your conversations?” You spoke softly.

He only stared at you wordlessly. You could feel his eyes on you, studying the tears that trailed down your face.

At his lack of response, you groaned. “It went horrible. I lost it. Happy now?” You bitterly smiled, wiping at your cheeks harshly, wincing at the burn of the fabric of your sleeves. When you turned to face him again, you realized that his face had fallen.

“You… lost it?” He asked quietly.

You forced a roll of your eyes. Though, you knew it was useless to try to pretend that you felt perfectly content with this.

“Yes,” You breathed with frustration. “Yes, I did. So go. Laugh in my face and leave.”

But you didn’t hear a single huff of amusement. It was completely silent. Except for the shifting of clothes–the shifting of him moving closer to you. Now, his whole side was pressed to yours and again, you were reminded of how nice he smelled.

“I won’t laugh,” He whispered.

“Okay then.” You glanced at him briefly. “Fine. What are you doing here then?”

He turned to you slightly and you flinched when you saw his hand lifting up towards your face. You stayed frozen once you realized that he was picking up a thread of fabric stuck in your hair. Probably from your constant rubbing of your tears.

“Small talk,” He eventually replied, his voice surprisingly soft and… gentle.

You snorted, slapping his hand away. “With your rival?”

“Best to learn your enemies,” He humorously responded.

And even with your tears drying on your skin, you laughed. It was quiet, slightly weak from emotions of failure. But you still laughed. Because of Changmin of all people. With a sigh, you patted at the drying tears.

“God, I probably look like a mess.”

“You don’t.”

You turned to him in slight surprise before narrowing your eyes. “How can I trust you?”

“Just do.” He smiled.

You hummed, shutting your eyes with exhaustion. “Then I’ll take your word for it.”

“It’s quite the opposite actually,” He continued. Perking up, you grinned playfully at him.

“And what do you mean by that? What’s the opposite of looking like a mess?”

“Looking…” His voice was barely a whisper now. “Looking pretty.”

Your breath hitched at his words. You didn’t know what you were expecting but you weren’t expecting that. But again, he was your rival. He was probably just teasing you.

“Are you saying I’m a pretty crier?”

He paused. And finally, without any dark rooms or party lighting, you could see the flush on his cheeks. “No comment?”

You laughed softly. But your content expression quickly turned into a small frown. “Shouldn’t you be practicing right now? You have a performance for the recital.”

He never answered your question. Instead, he looked down to where your hands and elbows were bruised from constant practice. Then he faced you with an incomprehensible look in his face.

“But you’re not performing at all?” He asked instead.

Biting the inside of your cheeks to keep the tears from bursting out of your eyes again, you shook your head.

He grew quiet again. You always hated how hard it was to decipher Changmin. He often trailed off and wouldn’t say anything, leaving you to decide if he was either going to throw another insult at you or finally leave you alone.

With an annoyed huff, you finally asked him, “What’re you planning?”

“Nothing.” He faked a smile. “I’ll… see you around?”

You stood up, your legs wobbly from the drained feeling after you poured out all of your emotions in the span of a few minutes. “Not for a while,” You sourly remarked. “I’m useless now. See you in two months.”

He tilted his head, his faux smile turning into an amused, almost mischievous one. “See you tomorrow.”

You were never one to question his odd responses. He just got the time wrong. That’s all.

—

You watched numbly as your ballet shoes tumbled to the floor. With a clenched jaw, you reached down to pick it up and shove it into your bag before turning back to your half-empty locker.

As you stood there, contemplating if you needed to bring home any of this stuff since you weren’t going to be dancing for a while anyway, your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Looking up, there was a woman poking her head in.

“Y/n?” She looked straight at you.

“Me?” You pointed at yourself in disbelief. For a second, a spark of hope appeared in the depths of your heart. But it quickly flickered away. Maybe she was about to shove it in your face that you weren’t supposed to be here today. Which, you weren’t. But, you just needed to pack up some of your belongings.

“Y/n.” She smiled in strange relief. As if she was searching for you for a while. “You’re needed in the practice room.”

When you only stared at her in utter confusion, she laughed, completely relaxed which only caused to spiral into more perplexion.

“I forgot to mention which one! It’s the one at the end of the right hall.”

You only raised an eyebrow at her, clutching your bag. Why was she acting so natural? As if telling you that you needed to report to practice when you were told very clearly that you were out as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

“I don’t… I don’t have anything to perform though?” You stared at her.

She gazed back, looking at you as if you had just confessed the worst murder of all time.

“Yes you do?” She replied. “Come on. You’ll be late.”

Maybe this was all some sick joke. Still incredibly confused, you followed her out onto the hallway, all the way down to an unfamiliar practice room. This whole section was dedicated to something else. Something that wasn’t… ballet or contemporary.

She gestured for you to open the door. Looking at her with a bored expression, you pushed the door open and in just a split second, you were gaping at the person who stood at the doorway.

Oh my god.

Your hand tightened around the doorknob, threatening to slam the door closed in hopes that this was all a bad dream. But the door refused to budge.

Changmin. Changmin had placed his foot down to stop it from moving an inch. He tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He looked at you completely seriously. Which you hated. Because you had really hoped this was all a joke.

“What are you doing here?” You still attempted to shut the door. But he still held it open.

But suddenly, another man appeared. You didn’t recognize him but you assumed he was Changmin’s own dance instructor. He had on a bright, enthusiastic smile, much unalike to your own who constantly had a stern, disappointed frown.

“Y/n!” He spoke marvelously. “Splendid choice, ‘min.”

Changmin only glanced at you, slightly sheepishly and with his ears were tinted red. He quickly recovered though which made you wonder why he was shy in the first place.

“Surprise surprise?” He smugly grinned.

You were absolutely speechless, unable to say anything. All you could do was stare—gape at him with a dropped jaw.

“What?” You blurted out.

Changmin almost laughed at your reaction. But still, he led you out to the hallway. Hopefully for some sort of explanation.

“You’re my new dance partner.”

Okay, that wasn’t the explanation that you wanted.

“You’re what?” You practically exclaimed.

“You heard me,” He whispered. His eyes darted to the practice room briefly. “He’ll be teaching you the moves for the first few days and then we’ll practice together,” He explained in a completely calm voice.

What was up with everyone and acting completely natural in such an absurd situation?”

“Are we not going to talk about the fact that you chose me to be your dance partner,” You deadpanned. “We’re supposed to hate each other.”

“Then still do,” He sighed. “But trust me on this.” He stepped closer and in the corner of your eye, you could see his hand twitch—almost like he was going to grab yours.

“How many times will you ask me to trust you?” You asked quietly. “That’s not very easy, especially after you’ve practically insulted me all these years.”

“I know, and I’m—“ The apology that threatened to escape his lips was interrupted by the door opening. His instructor poked a head out with an excited smile.

“What’s taking you lovebirds so long?” He wiggled his eyebrows. And now that you looked closely, you could read his ID card that read, “Eric.” He looked oddly young to be an instructor but you didn’t question it, too focused on the fact that you now had to dance with your one and only rival.

Changmin scowled. “Give us a minute won’t you? I’m still older than you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He sighed before disappearing back into the room.

Changmin turned back to you, looking at you with soft eyes that only caused your stomach to twist even more.

“Yesterday,” He breathed. “You looked…”

“Like shit? I know,” You snapped.

“No! You—“ He groaned. “I can’t explain it right now. But Y/n.” Again, his hand twitched to hold yours.

“What?” Your voice was meek. Why were you suddenly so nervous?

“I’m not blind to see that you’re talented. And who was it who told me that I should find someone who complimented my dancing?” He paused and winced sheepishly. “Even if completely intolerable.”

“You think that I compliment your dancing?” You whispered. “But we never danced together before.”

“All the more reason to test it out?” He gave you an unsure smile.

You bit your lip, completely conflicted.

“Changmin… I don’t know.”

He looked at you, his gaze gentle. “If you want to back out, that’s fine. I just—“ His cheeks were flushed again, a pretty pink. Pretty? “I wanted to do something. For you.”

Your eyes searched his, looking for any spark of amusement. But, he still looked back at you earnestly.

“Aren’t we rivals?” You asked again.

“Are we?” He simply replied, never providing you with an actual answer.

“We are,” You breathed out, but the way your voice trembled slightly wasn’t very convincing.

“Whatever you want,” He whispered. “So what do you say, dear rival?” The way he said the last word wasn’t convincing either. None of this was convincing.

You sighed, defeated and unable to find a reason to say no. Hanging your head low, you noticed the way his hand ghosted over yours. Was it there all that time?

“Fine,” You muttered. “But don’t expect much.”

He hummed teasingly. “I expect a lot from someone as talented as you.”

And much to your horror, you felt yourself blush. Shoving him with an annoyed (embarrassed) scowl, you stepped away, finally noticing just how close he was to you.

“Shut up,” You said. “Let’s keep this completely professional.”

“Whatever you want,” He repeated, smiling softly.

—

You hated to admit it but the duet was fun. It was so unlike what you usually learned. You were used to the perfectly practiced poses, the straightened back, and the straining of all your limbs to get that pristine, elegant image that you were supposed to keep up. But this dance… was more freeing. It had a romantic aspect to it but it was fun and energetic while still telling a story through the choreography.

A love story of all things.

However, you did notice that it was hard to learn the dance alone. Even if you asked Eric to dance in place as Changmin temporarily, he would refuse, saying it would ruin the “chemistry” between you two.

What chemistry? There was none. You were sure of that.

But even the voice in your head wavered over that statement.

Now, the time that you dreaded has arrived. The one when you would actually have to practice the choreography with your dance partner.

To say it was awkward was an understatement. It was appallingly difficult.

The two of you wouldn’t stop bickering. It wasn’t really Changmin correcting your dance like you had thought. It was just… bickering.

“What if I stepped on your foot right now?” You grinned.

“Don’t,” He groaned. “It already hurts.”

“But it would be funny.”

“My ankle is twisted,” He replied with a frown, grimacing.

Immediately you were widening your eyes and stepping forward. You didn’t even notice that you were looking him over with worry.

“It is?” And just like he had done before, your hand ghosted over his. “Why didn’t you get it checked? You should be resti—“

Except he only regarded you with a smug smile.

“Is someone worried for me?”

You stared at him, your mouth agape. And then you grumbled, stepping away, only to feel a spark through your wrist where it brushed against his knuckles.

“Your ankle isn’t twisted,” You gritted out.

He grinned wider. “It’s not but I appreciate your worry anyway.”

“I was not worrying,” You muttered, looking away.

He huffed. “And my name isn’t Changmin.”

You rolled your eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Get what over with?”

“This… move,” You mumbled, letting your eyes travel down to his hand. What was up with you and his hands? You didn’t know either.

And by this move, you meant the move where the two of you would have to hold hands and he would twirl you and pull you close, and— you hated everything about it.

“Don’t we just—“ He was the one who took the lead, guiding your hand gently to his. But he paused in his tracks once he felt your pinky link with his. And like he was electrocuted, he pulled his hand back.

You held back a smile, finding this awkwardness all too painfully amusing.

“Do we intertwine the fingers or…” He trailed off.

“Or just hold palms?” You offered, cringing at how warm your face felt at the moment.

“No, we’re supposed to—“ He reached forward, grabbing your hand in an odd way, his fingers hilariously stiff.

“Ah,” You whined. “It feels weird.”

He huffed, his ears red. “Of course it does. We never…”

If Eric was monitoring the two of you right now—which he said he would in an hour or two—he would have bursted out laughing at the sight. The both of you facing each other, hands fumbling with frustrated faces—one would think you were playing a game of rock, paper, scissors.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, staring at the way he just poked one finger into your palm.

“What are you doing?” He whispered back, glaring at the way your fingers closed around his ring finger.

“I can’t—“ You groaned. “I can’t do this with you.”

“You have to. Just—“ And like a leap of faith, he finally reached forward properly and grabbed your hand in his. After all those instances of your hands merely hovering, it felt almost… nice to feel his warm skin properly. His hand was comforting and you watched with wide eyes at the way he so naturally intertwined his fingers with yours.

Your breath was caught in your throat and you observed silently as he brought your connected hands up to his chest, holding it close. He looked up at you, his gaze softening.

“Like this?” He whispered.

“Yes,” You replied, almost breathlessly.

He gave you a small smirk. “Then focus.”

And without a warning, he brought your hand up and twirled you around. You stumbled slightly but managed to gain your balance as he pulled you in, right up to his chest. Instead of just your hands, it was your whole body against him.

“See?” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath. “Wasn’t so bad right?”

“Professional,” You breathed out. “It’s because I’m being professional.”

“Mhm,” He eyed you teasingly. His eyes trailed down. “Do professionals still hold hands even after practice is done?”

You gasped quietly, embarrassment flooding through you.

“Oh, I—” You tried to pull your hand out of his grasp but he only tightened further, keeping your hand in his. His hold was gentle and warm, which put a funny feeling in your chest. You narrowed your eyes. “Changmin,” You warned.

“It’s comfortable,” He murmured and before you could protest, he was bringing your hand up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.

Your breath hitched in your throat. “You’re so annoying.” You glared.

He only pressed another kiss as a response, leaving you stuttering.

–

Another thing you hated to admit: you had grown closer to Changmin. Blah blah, you’re still rivals of course. Just maybe… with more smiles and friendly remarks. That’s normal, isn’t it? For enemies?

The dance routine drastically improved. The two of you were comfortable with holding hands now, moving past each other with fleeting touches. It became almost natural. But then again, that was just what happened when you were being professional. Obviously.

But still, nothing could compare to the growth of your relationship with him. You didn’t hate it. It felt nice to have someone who understood you. You learned more about him as a person. You learned that he was always exhausted after dancing and then learned that he often forgot to eat anything after practice. They go hand-in-hand. So it became–much to your disliking–your job to bring him a small snack every day so that he wouldn’t faint.

He learned more about you as a person too. He learned that you weren’t used to freestyling or experimenting since you were so trained to have a picture-perfect image. When he learned that, it became–much to his… liking–his job to make you laugh and relax whenever you got too caught up in your internal expectations.

He wasn’t so bad after all.

He was still annoying though. Just like right now.

“Just once,” He pleaded. “Try it.”

“I’m not– used to the choreography being changed. Or anything being changed.” You gave him a nervous look, your fingers fidgeting restlessly. “And you know that.” Your voice quietened as all the memories of people criticizing you came rushing through.

His gaze softened as he studied your anxious-ridden features. “I do know that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t.”

You looked at him skeptically. “I’m not like you.”

“You’re not,” He agreed. “You’re you. And that’s what I find amazing.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “That’s not–”

He shook his head, taking a step forward. He opened his mouth to speak but you shushed him with a simple glare.

“And don’t you dare ask me to trust you,” You ridiculed.

He gave you an amused smile. “How’d you predict that?”

“Because you’ve asked me plenty of times,” You deadpanned.

“Ah…” He grinned. “You’re right. And every time I do, you reply that you don’t.”

You grew silent at that. And then you let your eyes trail down, away from his gaze. You noticed that whenever you did so, he never let his own eyes wander. They were always on you. Across the room, the hallway, even when you were sitting right in front of him.

With a deep breath, your cheeks beginning to flush already, you spoke something so quietly that he had to lean in to hear.

“I trust you now though.”

You heard his breath hitch, causing you to look up into his eyes. And were his eyes always so… bright and sparkly?

“You trust me?” He whispered.

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“If we weren’t so short on time, I would.” He smiled. He reached down and like it was the most common occurrence, he took your hand in his, leading you to the middle of the room. “Then, if you trust me, won’t you do the thing?”

“What thing?”

“That thing.”

You stared at him, trying to feign innocence so that you could somehow get out of it. But he only looked at you, almost challenging you with his gaze.

Eventually, you groaned in defeat. “Fine,” You grumbled.

The next move, which the two of you had already perfected, was a simple touch on the waist and that was it. But Changmin just had to come up with a new idea. He insisted on a dip. The type of dip that was reserved for people who were actually in love and… had feelings for each other. Which, the two of you definitely didn’t fit in that type of category. Professional dancers was all.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” You spoke over the music.

He smiled charmingly. “Just enjoy the moment. It will.”

And so, holding your breath, you approached him. His hand automatically came to your waist, just like it had in the original move. But then, he slowly, guided you so that you were leaning backward. Feeling yourself grow warm over his gentle touch that held you steady so that you wouldn’t fall, you allowed yourself to fall. Literally, into his arms.

After the count was over, he gently brought you back to stand up. And yet another thing that you hated to admit: that new dance move left your heart pounding. And it wasn’t from exhilaration.

You were breathless as you stared at him in shock. It all came rushing to you. The small details–the softness of his eyes, the hands that held onto your waist tightly but never enough to hurt, the small smile on his lips when he probably noticed that you had blushed.

A quiet “oh” was all you could muster.

He gave you a soft smile. You noticed that was the only thing he regarded you with these days. Occasionally, it would be his usual, teasing, mocking smile. But recently, it’s just been that one that left your hands feeling sweaty.

“And if I said I told you so?”

“Don’t,” You scowled.

But he only leaned closer. You weren’t even doing the move again yet his hand still found its place on your lower back again. And like you were in a trance, your eyes fluttered as you drew closer to him. You looked straight into his eyes, only for you to realize that he wasn’t returning that same eye contact. Instead, his gaze flickered down to your lips. You sputtered and your hands flew to his chest, trying to create more distance.

“Don’t get too carried away,” You murmured.

“I wasn’t,” He whispered. “It was you who was leaning closer.”

“No,” You breathed. “It was you.”

He watched you fondly. Of course, he would notice the way you stumbled over your words.

“Maybe it was the both of us.”

—

One would think that after the routine was perfected—which it was—the two of you would be off to perform it, get those congratulatory flowers, and be off. But no. There was always that extra step of the stage rehearsal.

It was the one where you had to practice the routine on the actual stage, in front of two people: Changmin’s instructor Eric, and your instructor. You haven’t seen her since she kicked you off, so you couldn’t help your eyes from darting to her ever-growing sneer.

You always despised this part, mostly because it was nerve-wracking. Even though there were only two people in the audience, the spotlights, and the music blaring through the speakers made it all feel real.

It didn’t help that your instructor kept writing things in her clipboard. And it was only when you were in the center. For heaven’s sake, Eric didn’t even own a clipboard.

“You’re shaking,” A deeper voice whispered.

You blinked and turned to where Changmin was standing in front of you. It was no use hiding anything from him. It was almost like he could read you like a book.

You shook your head, pulling him into position. But, it was hard as it was him facing away from the crowd while you… you had to face the audience—more specifically, your instructor.

“I’m just tired,” You whispered as your eyes glanced down. Eric was smiling softly while she picked up her pen, leaving your heart pounding. Changmin turned to look at you briefly and you could feel his gaze, focused on how you fidgeted nervously.

“I tried to tell her that she didn’t need to come to the rehearsal,” He muttered back, his hand coming up to your waist just like the choreography asked. “But she insisted.”

You hummed. “I wonder why.”

“Ignore her,” He replied, guiding your hand up to his shoulder. Just like the choreography asked.

“I can’t,” You whispered, your voice almost pleading. “She’s looking at me.”

Suddenly, you felt his hand close around your waist tightly as he shifted the position. You watched, bewildered once you realized that even though his back was still to the crowd, he was shielding you with his body. Away from prying eyes, away from anyone who would make you nervous, he stood in front of you, his arm protectively around your body.

This was not the choreography. This wasn’t what it asked. Yet it made you feel that smallest bit of solace that you needed all this time.

“Better?” He spoke in a hushed tone, giving you a reassuring smile.

Unable to do or say anything, you only looked at him with flushed cheeks before nodding quietly.

He only continued to follow your features with his soft gaze. He never attempted to make you move, knowing that you were still nervous, your hand on his shoulder tightening in intervals whenever you remembered that you were still being watched. Instead, he just stayed put, watching you and making sure you were okay.

Alarms blared in your ears, telling you that you needed to start dancing or else you would be scolded. But, with Changmin’s hand closed around your waist, you couldn’t help but melt. You were sure that the two instructors were watching–probably extremely confused, but you were more focused on someone else. Changmin–whose body shielded you from the blinding stage lights and whose eyes scanned over you attentively.

“Thank you,” was what you could finally muster up with a soft voice.

He gave you a small tilt of his head, accompanied by a lilt of his lips.

“Of course,” He replied. “Take your time. Whenever you’re ready.”

You bit your lip, shaking your head with a growing smile. “They’re waiting.”

“So let them wait.”

Your shoulders shook with a silent laugh. You were about to joke about how endearing he looked when protective but you stopped for two reasons. One–you were supposed to be rivals and that wouldn’t be a very rival-y thing to say. Two–Eric spoke up, his loud voice echoing through the concert hall.

“Alright,” He yelled, his voice laced with a teasing tone. “Lovebirds, let’s take five!”

Clearing your throat, your cheeks flaming, you pulled away from his hold. You didn’t notice Changmin staring after you longingly.

–

The five-minute break came and went a bit too quickly for your liking. Luckily, Eric had somehow convinced your instructor to take a lunch break. As you were fixing up the laces of your shoes, he approached you with a kind smile.

“She’s all done and taken care of,” The younger man joked, brushing off his shoulder comically. You smiled in relief. And then he sat down next to you. “Listen. On the agenda, I’m supposed to evaluate each of you individually, to make sure everything’s down and ready. So, during her lunch break, let’s get that done. Yeah?”

You nodded and stood up, approaching the stage. Oh, but you hated how steep the stairs were. Trying not to stumble, you took the first step. You were about to take the second when you felt another presence behind you. You hated how you could recognize him immediately.

You felt Changmin’s hand, gently take yours as he helped you up the stairs. When finally up on the stage, you turned around to tease him about being such a gentleman. But, his back was already turned, walking away.

But when you narrowed your eyes and looked closely, you could see his hand flex. Almost like he was embarrassed and… nervous after helping you up on the stage.

You caught yourself smiling, your heart blooming into something new. Except, you weren’t quite sure if it actually was new.

But Eric’s voice caught you off guard, shaking you out of your little trance.

“What’s so amusing?” He grinned.

You shook your head, biting back a shy smile. “Nothing.”

–

“How’s it feel? Your stylist looked you over, even giving you jazz hands to help you cheer up. Dress rehearsal–literally meant that you had to wear your performance outfit even when the audience was practically empty.

You scrunched your face up in discomfort, looking at yourself in the mirror. You had to admit, it was a pretty look. It incorporated various little details of what you were most familiar with, ballet. It was a graceful, flowy outfit but there was something different about it. There were other… parts to it. Spontaneous colors and pieces stuck out, representing your dance partner.

And of course, there was romance in it. Roses specifically, delicately sewn into the fabric. And there was a bright red one, tucked behind your ear.

“It’s beautiful,” You whispered. But just at that moment, you twitched awkwardly. “A little itchy.”

Your stylist laughed, pulling at a loose seam. “It’s just one night.”

You froze, your shoulders raising. “Yeah,” You breathed. “One night.” And it would all be over. This impetuous thing. After that one night, you would be forced to go back to keeping up that image that you hated and loved at the same time. You would return to the same routine of scolding because you didn’t do well enough and the scorn looks because you couldn’t lift your leg high enough.

And Changmin.

He would be over too. He would go his own way, dancing with experimentation and freedom. You wouldn’t see him except on your breaks which only resulted in petty arguments and glares. What would happen to those kind smiles that you would share occasionally and the fleeting touches even when you weren’t practicing the choreography? Would it all disappear?

“Is everything okay?” The stylist asked.

You blinked and straightened up. “Great,” You said as you forced a smile. With a deep breath, you headed to the door, ready to greet Changmin who must also be dressed in his own outfit.

As you walked onto the stage, you froze once again when you saw him standing in front of you, a sheepish smile on his lips.

“Hi,” You whispered, looking him over. Oh, you hated it. You hated everything–how he looked charming with his hair so meticulously styled, how the flowy, white shirt hugged his shoulders and waist so perfectly, how his eyes naturally sparkled, even when the stage lights were off.

“Hey, you.” He grinned. And you hated how his gaze traveled over you slowly, taking in the sight. Suddenly, you felt the urge to wrap your arms over yourself.

You gave him a small laugh, stepping forward. There was no one else in the concert hall right now. Eric and the director of the recital must be running late. And yes, somehow, Changmin managed to keep your instructor from coming back in the meantime. It was just the two of you, standing in the middle of the stage, unlit but bright enough to emphasize both of your shy smiles.

You hated him.

But… his smile and his soft gaze. It was all too hard to resist.

Clearing your throat, you played with the hem of your clothes. “What do you…” You trailed off, fighting the urge to stumble over your words nervously. “What do you think?” You looked at him expectantly. He only stared at you wordlessly, which only furthered your anxiousness. Forcing a roll of your eyes, trying to act natural, you shifted on your feet and avoided his watchful gaze. “And don’t say I look bad because I’m sure that–”

“You look pretty.”

You inhaled sharply, whipping your head to look at him again. His smile looked almost fond and he never seemed to take his eyes off you. Instead, he only leaned closer, bending his head forward to observe the rose tucked behind your ear.

“Very pretty,” He whispered. You could only stay there, completely rigid as you felt his hand come up to the side of your face to adjust that same rose, his touch light and gentle.

“Oh,” You finally breathed out. “Thank you.” You cursed at yourself for lowering your voice from embarrassment. It only made him lean closer to hear you.

And it seemed that Eric had burst through the doors, only to witness the two of you stupidly smiling at each other.

–

Just like you had expected, Eric and the director watched your routine. Over and over, you had to perform it so that they would catch any mistakes. By the fifth time, the two of you were practically gasping for air.

“One more time?” Eric suggested, looking at you with pity once he noticed you almost fall over from exhaustion if it wasn’t for Changmin who steadied you with a simple touch on your waist.

But then, the director stepped forward. “Actually,” She spoke up. “I think that we just have to get the ending right.”

You glanced at Changmin, only for him to do the same. Just like your brief glances, the position at the very end of the performance was always awkward. The two of you could never quite get it down.

Since the dance was more on the… romantic side, you were expected to face each other, hands intertwined and held close to your chests. And Eric had especially emphasized staring very deeply into your eyes, much to your dismay. Oh and to stand very close–so close that you were practically kissing.

But, you always refused. Changmin as well. You would take a step back and he would hold your hand a bit further away from his chest, creating an odd-looking distance.

So that was what you did. Which, didn’t seem to satisfy the director at all.

“That’s all you can do?” She questioned, leaning forward in her chair. “Put more into it!”

You bit your lip nervously, taking a half-step closer.

“More!” She exclaimed, causing Eric to laugh evilly.

Changmin glared at them playfully before yanking you forward, right up against his chest. You sputtered, looking at him in surprise. He gave you a small, soft smile, though there was still a hint of teasing behind his eyes.

The director stayed silent and for a moment, you thought that she was satisfied enough. But then, she slammed her hand down. “More! You can do better than that!”

Your palms were practically sweating from how long you were holding hands and your face also felt incredibly hot from how close his lips were to yours. But still, with a sigh, you shuffled ever so closer, until the front of your shoes were touching. Changmin simply watched you with gentle eyes.

“Mor–”

Eric groaned, and you could see him standing up in protest in his peripheral view. He threw his hand out to the stage. “Is this not close enough?”

The director snickered. “Oh, definitely. I just wanted to see how close they willingly would get.”

Immediately, the two of you were blushing. But still, Changmin didn’t make a move to step backward and away from you. And so, you gulped, choosing to avoid his gaze.

“On second thought,” Eric called out. “You’re kind of off-center… if you guys could move to the right a bit?”

After this, you would be done. You would perform the routine on the recital night and this would all be over. Except, you weren’t too sure if you wanted it to be over. You were still deciding on that. When you looked up into Changmin’s eyes, you found that invisible weight–the one that leaned to you wanting this to last forever–to become heavier and heavier.

Ignoring your rushing thoughts, you shuffled to the right, your hands still grasping his. He shuffled along with you, taking mini-steps backward until you reached the tape on the floor that signaled the center.

You stared at Changmin, eyes sparkling as he did the same. And then, you found yourself laughing. Laughing for what? You weren’t sure, but you felt like you were brimming with joy. The awkward shuffling to get to the center, the warm hands intertwined with yours, the surprised yet oddly fond look on his face when you giggled–you couldn’t help but just… feel a certain emotion. You weren’t sure what. Was it relaxation or something else?

He looked at you, his own smile growing on his lips. And then he joined in on you with the laughing, leaning closer to hide his face in your neck.

And yes, you were still in that same ending position. Except, it wasn’t awkward anymore.

“I envy you,” The director sighed, dramatically falling back into her chair. “You have such heart-pounding, romantic chemistry!’

The both of you froze and turned to her in panic.

“Oh, no–” You rushed to say, only to be cut off by Changmin who was also panicking.

“We’re not like–”

Eric only raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. “You cannot be that blind,” He deadpanned. “Just look in front of you.”

When you looked back into Changmin’s eyes, you not only saw it–the eyes that you dreamed about more often and the lips that you sometimes wondered how they tasted–but you could feel the now familiar pounding in your heart. You wondered if he felt the same.

–

On the night before the performance, you found yourself sitting on a bench outside of the dance studio. The crickets were chirping, keeping you from being completely alone with your thoughts. You tried to count the stars or the cars that passed by, but it was of no use, as all you could think of were the endless possibilities of the recital going completely wrong.

But your ears picked up the sound of someone’s footsteps, slightly kicking at the concrete. And then he sat next to you. Changmin. It was always him. And for some reason, you found his warmth almost comforting–something that melted away the rigid clasp around your nerves.

“Okay?” He asked, his tone quiet to match the atmosphere of the calm night that differed from your tight chest.

“Yeah,” You whispered, turning to him. He wasn’t looking. Maybe he was trying to count the stars too. “Just…” You sighed, embarrassed. “Nervous.”

“Don’t be.” He smiled as he turned to face you. “You’re amazing.”

“I’m…” You tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows.

“What?” He widened his eyes cutely. “You don’t think so? Though,” He laughed briefly. “Better than me? Probably no–”

“No,” You blurted out, catching him off guard. “I’m just–” You exhaled with frustration and confusion. “Why are you so nice to me? I thought we were…” You trailed off then, choosing to turn back to the twinkling stars. Yet they only reminded you of his eyes.

“Rivals? We still are,” He joked.

You could only give him a weak laugh in response. He looked at you cautiously before turning his gaze down to his lap where his fingers were fidgeting nervously.

“But as for caring for you…” He spoke quietly. “Take a wild guess.”

You looked at him, trying to decipher his strange behavior. But, all you could get from your observations was that his cheeks and ears were oddly red.

“Because…” You thought for a moment. “If you weren’t you would be kicked off the team?”

He gave you a small smile but shook his head.

“Because you’re in a particularly good mood?”

“No,” He breathed out.

And you knew that there was one more reason. But you were terrified to say it. You didn’t know why but it was just… frightening. But, when he only gazed at you expectantly, you knew that you were being forced to say it.

“Because you…” Your voice quietened, but you knew that Changmin could see the way your mouth formed the word ‘like.’ Slowly, your voice grew in volume to finish the question. “...me?”

And what was even more terrifying was that he nodded wordlessly. Or was it thrilling? You couldn’t tell. But all you knew was that your heart was beating fast again. And it was all for a different reason.

“Changmin,” You whispered, too shocked to form a cohesive sentence. “I–”

“I do,” He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for an answer. “It’s because I like you.”

And it hit you like the spot lights did to your eyes. He would always smile at you softly, distract you whenever you were nervous, and his touches were always gentle. You thought it was just part of his demeanor but now, things were different now. He never regarded others with that affectionate smile and soft gaze. It was only when his eyes would land on you, that his expression would change into something strangely affectionate.

“I don’t know what to say,” You shakily replied, watching as he stood up from the bench. He gave you a small smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He mumbled, about to turn away but your hands grasped onto his sleeve.

“Wait,” You rushed to say. He turned to you, his eyes filled with hope and disappointment, all at the same time. “Changmin.”

“Hm?”

“After this night… will we go back to the way we were?” You looked up at him. And instead of pulling his wrist out of your grasp, he reached forward, enclosing your hand in his. Your eyes flitted down to his action, breath held.

“Do you mean when I would think of you every day?” He raised an eyebrow.

You playfully slapped him. Or, at least tried to, until he tightened his hold on your hand, keeping you still.

“Don’t lie.” You rolled your eyes.

He shook his head before gently guiding you to stand up with him. You followed and then you gasped quietly when you felt a rose being tucked behind your ear, just like your stylist had done for your outfit–for your performance tomorrow.

“I’m not lying,” He whispered. “I never was.”

You swallowed thickly. “Even when you said that I remind you of… the moonlight?”

He hummed before adjusting the rose slightly so that it sat perfectly in your hair. And that was when you realized the rose was blue, rather than the classic red. You watched him curiously until he gave you a soft smile.

He tapped the rose gently, his fingertip brushing against your ear.

“You’re just like the moonlight.”

–

You breathed in deeply, closing your eyes until you heard the curtains rise and the shuffle of the audience, expectantly waiting for your performance. It only took you a few hours before to find out that your duet with Changmin was the most anticipated one. In fact, it was on the front page of the pamphlet and displayed brightly on one of those LED screens outside of the concert hall.

When you blinked your eyes open, you were met with millions–at least it felt like it–of faces staring back at you. Immediately, you felt the need to freeze up and forget everything that you’ve worked so hard for. But once you felt that familiar squeeze on your waist from the man who stood next to you, everything came rushing back to you.

Soon enough, the music started and like it was automatic, your head snapped up to face him. The beginning move, the one that you practiced the most unintentionally, was easy to spot the differences over the time. When you first started practicing together, he wouldn’t even look you in the eye out of arrogance. Now, even though he still wouldn’t, you could see that it was for a different reason. He was too embarrassed to.

As you moved to the rhythm, fleeting touches on his shoulder and down his chest before breaking apart, you realized that so much has changed. The hesitant grasp on your waist was firm now–protective.

He wasn’t always too embarrassed to look you in the eye. Sometimes, when he would pull you into his chest, he would stare so deeply that the stage lights that already felt hot, began to feel much alike to the sun.

Sometimes, you would hear the occasional baby crying in the crowd or the applause when Changmin would do that dip that you were so adamant on not doing, only for it to be one of your favorite parts to do, but other than that, all that resonated through your ears was the beating of your heart. Partly from exhilaration and partly for someone else. Him.

You hated him, but oh, you liked him so much.

And when the ending came and he would pull you close while intertwining his fingers with yours, you allowed yourself to fall. Maybe not physically because that wouldn’t end well on the tall stage, but in some other way. A way that signaled to him to pull you so close and for him to lean down so that his lips hovered right over yours.

The music had already ended and the audience was clapping and whistling. Yet to you, it went silent. All you could hear was Changmin’s breathing against your lips and all you could see were his soft, loving eyes.

Slowly, you felt his hand let go of yours and for a second you thought that you might have gone too far. But then, you felt that same hand tighten around your waist, yanking you close enough that his bottom lip brushed against yours, sending shivers down your spine.

There were no words spoken but the two of you immediately got the message to close your eyes and… fall once again. You leaned forward, about to press your lips to his in which he hummed softly. But then, the curtain fell with a loud thump and you broke apart. Before you could say or do anything, you were being rushed out by the staff, with only a glimpse of the longing in his face.

Your hand came up to where the rose tucked in your hair and you pulled it out. You observed the red petals, twirling the stem of it until it broke apart in your hand. You liked the blue version better.

–

Your fingers lingered over your own lips, wondering what it would feel like if you had just leaned that tiny bit closer–wondered if he would kiss back. His warm breath that fanned over and his soft, soft gaze as his eyes wandered down came rushing back until your stomach was fluttering with butterflies all over again.

“Y/n?” One of the staff poked her head in. “The curtain call’s in five.”

“Oh, right.” You abruptly stood up, smoothing down your outfit. Your hair was down now, rid of any clips and pins. The rose was long gone.

She ushered you to the door. “You and your partner have a separate spotlight. Since… you know,” She laughed shyly. “Everyone just loved your performance.”

You froze. “They did?”

She looked at you like you were crazy before leading you down the hallway leading to the stage. “It’s all the crowd’s been talking about! The chemistry, the romance, the love… it was all so clear. How did you do it so naturally?”

Your breath hitched, unsure yourself. “I… I guess because it was real.”

She hummed, eyeing you teasingly before gesturing to the stage. You took in a deep breath, and walked to the center of the stage. It was dark–the curtains down with only the sound of the murmuring crowd. When you looked up, you could see Changmin approaching you, a warm smile on his lips.

As he stood next to you, his hand grasped yours and he nudged you with his shoulder.

“Nervous?” He joked.

You smiled shyly. “I am actually.”

“And why’s that?” He glanced at you with bright, sparkling eyes, even without the stage lights shining on the two of you.

“Because I’m with you. You make me nervous,” You whispered. His eyes widened slightly and his hand tightened on yours.

You could hear the countdown for the curtains to pull up, but you ignored it once Changmin had leaned closer.

“Listen,” He watched you cautiously. “What we did back there… did you mea–”

“Yes,” You rushed to say.

Before he could respond, the curtains were rising up and again, the stage lights blared in your vision. Now, you could hear the loud cheers of the audience and you were filled with that exhilarating, heart-beating feeling all over again. When you turned to Changmin, you realized that he was staring back, a dazed look in his eyes.

With a squeeze of his hand, the two of you bowed, smiling brightly. You were about to let go of his hand to wave at the crowd when suddenly, you felt him tug on your hand, hard enough that you were pulled right against his chest.

He steadied you with a hand on your waist. And in the corner of your eye, you felt something being tucked behind your ear. You couldn’t see it but you knew exactly what it was. A blue rose.

He leaned in, just like before with his lips right in front of yours. You held back a smile as you looked up into his soft eyes.

“Is this okay?” He whispered, quiet enough so that only you could hear.

“Yes.” You spoke your loudest, over the growing cheers and applause from the crowd. “This is perfect.”

He smiled before pulling you in and pressing his lips against yours. For the third time that evening, you felt butterflies in your stomach as your eyes fluttered closed. You allowed yourself to finally and completely fall into the moment—into him, into his arms, and into his love as his grip on you tightened ever so slightly so that he could move his lips comfortably against yours.

When you pulled away, eventually interrupted by the staff gesturing to you hurriedly when you peeked an eye open, you looked up at him before bursting out into a shy smile. The cheers were even louder now, which only caused Changmin to blush a pretty pink.

–

After being led off the stage and changed out of your outfits, the two of you met at the hallway that led to the exit–away from the spotlights. It was just you now, holding his hand, swinging it shyly as you occasionally stole glances at him.

But just before you reached the door, he was turning you around and kissing you up against a wall. You allowed him to, feeling your heart beat erratically. But then again, that was a common thing now when with him.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for the longest time,” He muttered, breaking apart with flushed cheeks.

You smiled. “How long?”

“Ever since you gave me that playful smile when you called me a piece of shit that one time.” He grinned.

You burst out laughing. “That was so long ago,” You joked. “There’s no way you– you’re serious?” Now you were gaping at him.

He nodded shyly before hiding his face in your neck. “I loved your smile. I thought you were so beautiful when I first laid eyes on you.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Can’t say I felt the same,” You muttered. “I actually despised you.”

He chuckled, pulling away to press another kiss to your lips. “Do you despise me now?”

You blushed. “No, I don–” You were cut off by another kiss and his adorable laugh. You grumbled, slapping him shyly. “I take it back. I still despise you.”

“And I’m in love with you,” He replied, playing with the rose tucked in your hair, a fond smile worn on his lips.

—

“What is this?” You giggled, approaching where he was sitting on the floor of the balcony, completely ignoring the chairs that were perfectly placed there for sitting.

You didn’t take into account that giving your boyfriend the code to your apartment door would lead to him breaking into it without permission. One time, you came home, completely exhausted from practice and he popped out of a corner to scare you for the fun of it. It ended in a lot of screams and slapping. But still, he apologized and took care of you for the rest of the evening.

The two of you did go your separate ways…in terms of dance of course. You went back to ballet and high expectations. But at least you had someone to listen to you—someone who always told you that you were doing amazing whether that be through whispered words or kisses and hugs.

He, on the other hand, continued to experiment through various dance styles. One of the recent ones that he learned was the art of tango, ironically enough. And yes, he often pressured you to practice with him. You hated to admit it, but whenever he “serenaded you with his body” (as wrong as it sounded, that’s literally what he said when he danced with you), you couldn’t help but flush slightly, especially when he would kiss you before twirling you.

All of your friends, Eric especially, were delighted to find out you were dating. According to them, you’ve been in love with him this whole time and vice versa. You couldn’t deny it.

Everyday, you fell more and more in love with him. Apart from his constant teasing, he was the sweetest boyfriend one could find. He supported you in all of your endeavors, pressing kisses all over your face while whispering “I’m so proud of you.” Even when you insisted that it was corny, you secretly loved it.

And just now, you walked in on him setting up a picnic on your own balcony. Candles were lit and it seemed that he even cooked for you.

He gave you an adorably warm smile.

“To celebrate your special solo performance coming up, I present to you a coupon for a free date with me.” He grinned, gesturing for you to sit down.

You laughed bashfully, kneeling down in front of him. Like usual, he greeted you with a kiss.

“Are you saying I have to pay for every other date?”

“My love is priceless.”

“Fine,” You huffed playfully. “Let’s break up.”

He gasped. “You would never.”

“You know I wouldn’t.” You scrunched your nose. He smiled in response, watching you silently. You began to grow shy, looking away to stare out at the city view. It was the evening, the street lights and the unfortunate view of small windows lit with overtime office workers twinkling.

But you felt a gentle hand cupping the side of your face, guiding you to look back at him. Then, he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he gazed at you affectionately.

“My beautiful,” He whispered, tilting his head.

Your heart thumped but you still found yourself frowning grumpily.

“Don’t call me that.”

His eyes widened slightly as he pouted. “Why not?”

“Last time you called me beautiful you said I was intolerable right after,” You grumbled.

He whined, slapping his hands over your cheeks to squish them playfully which in turn, caused you to yelp.

“You know I didn’t mean it,” He breathed. “How was I supposed to tell Juyeon that I had the biggest crush on you?”

You laughed loudly, smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt. The candles flickered before they blew out, leaving it dark enough that the only source of light was the moon.

“Then what would you like me to call you?” He asked. He glanced up at the night sky before smiling back down at you. “Moonlight?”

“Mmm…” You thought for a moment. And then you smiled shyly. “You can only call me moonlight when you feel the happiest and… the most in love.”

It took him a moment to register your words but then his eyes lit up. He scooted forward so that his lips lingered right over your forehead. And then he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your skin.

“Moonlight,” He whispered.

“Oh,” You stuttered. He didn’t respond, instead, moving to press another kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Moonlight,” He muttered again, louder this time as his hand trailed down to caress your jaw.

You shut your eyes, suddenly overcome by the need to hide your face. But still, you felt his lips now hover over yours. He tilted your chin up, pulling you into the softest kiss you’ve ever experienced.

“My moonlight.”

You flushed pink, looking at him with wide eyes. “You—“

“I do feel the happiest and the most in love.” He smiled. “Right now.”

Immediately you were melting into his touch before gaining enough strength to lurch forward, throw your hands around his neck, and kiss him as much as you could.

“Me too,” You giggled.

Even though you were expected to keep up that model image, you secretly enjoyed the beauty of letting that go for someone who saw you for who you were. He saw you without the practiced poses and faked smiles, instead choosing to love your random quirks and imperfect features.

He smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

“You are my Clair de lune.”

#deoboyznet #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #the boyz reactions #tbz fluff #the boyz x reader #tbz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz x reader #changmin x reader #changmin fluff #requests 💞#fics 💞

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bradshawsbaby · 1 year

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afternoon delight

pairing: rhett abbott x girlfriend!reader

author’s note: this idea has been rolling around in my head for a while, and all the recent lew content has given me the push i needed to finally write it. i’ve been in a bit of a rut with my writing lately, so i’m just glad to be able to get this out of my system!

warnings: 18+ for explicit sexual content (semi-public sex and nearly getting caught), language, a healthy dose of fluff

Nothing was more boring than working the afternoon shift at your parents’ general store.

Well, maybe that wasn’t exactly true.

Nothing was more boring than working the afternoon shift at your parents’ general store alone.

At least when Moira or Kayla shared a shift with you, there was time for some idle chitchat and laughter. But it was a few weeks yet before the spring semester was over and the girls would return home from college for the summer, so today you were on your own.

And you were bored.

It wasn’t that nobody in Wabang visited the store in the early afternoon hours, but there was definitely a lull in the already slow activity once lunchtime rolled around. Most people in town headed home around noon for a quick snatch of respite and sustenance. That, or they headed to The Handsome Gambler for a liquid lunch. Either way, their minds certainly weren’t on buying a new shovel or a few cans of paint.

So the store remained virtually empty as the bright afternoon sun reached its zenith in the wide open sky, and you were left dusting the already clean shelves for what felt like the hundredth time since you’d arrived. Your parents would have been there working with you, but they’d taken a drive to visit one of their suppliers.

“You’ll be alright on your own for a few hours, won’t you, sweetheart?” your mama had asked before she and your dad left.

It was a rhetorical question and you both knew it. Besides the fact that your parents were already well aware there’d be hardly any customers in their absence, you’d also grown up in the store and knew how it operated like the back of your hand.

“I’ll be fine, Mama,” you assured her, waving as they headed out the door. “See ya’ll later.”

And you were fine. You were just so bored you thought you might lose your mind.

Tapping your fingers absentmindedly on the countertop near the register, you glanced down at where your phone sat, silent and still. You’d toyed with the idea of calling Rhett and asking him to come keep you company, but you knew that wasn’t fair. He had a lot to do on the ranch, especially at this time of year, and he couldn’t afford to play hooky just to keep you entertained at work. Besides, he’d already promised to take you out to dinner tonight. As much as you missed him, you knew you’d just have to be patient.

Huffing out a decidedly impatient breath, you stepped over to the ancient radio your father had refused to part with and fiddled with the knobs until you landed on a radio station you were satisfied with. At least now the silence in the store wouldn’t feel so deafening. You couldn’t help but grin as a new song began, the mildly familiar tune swirling in the warm air, among the dustmotes and beams of light spilling in from the large glass windows at the front of the store. You didn’t even know the name of it, but you knew it had been playing on the radio the other night when Rhett took you out to go stargazing, the two of you lying in the bed of his truck and lazily pointing out various constellations in between whispered words and slow kisses.

Your mood brightening considerably at the memory, you began humming softly under your breath as you decided to take the time you had to yourself to restock some of the shelves in the back of the store. Stepping into the back room, you grabbed a new box full of deodorant and shampoo and dragged it towards one of the shelves along the back wall. You were so focused on lining the shelves in the orderly manner your mother had taught you that you were caught off guard by the sound of the front door opening, the small bell tinkling to announce the arrival of a customer.

“I’ll be right with you!” you called out, your back to the entrance of the store as you reached for the last couple bottles of strawberry-scented shampoo. You smiled to yourself when you remembered the time Cecilia had come in and bought a whole case of it at a discounted price. Rhett had smelled like strawberries for over a month. Not that you minded one bit.

So caught up in the vividness of that memory were you that you didn’t register the heavy footfalls making their way down the aisle until a familiar pair of muscular arms were snaking their way around your waist and the stubbled face you loved more than anything was pressing against yours.

“Mmm, and what if I’m in a hurry and too impatient to wait for you up there, huh?” Rhett’s husky voice whispered low in your ear, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine as his lips ghosted over your cheek.

��Rhett!” you gasped in surprised pleasure, dropping the shampoo bottle you’d been holding without a backward glance as you turned around and faced your boyfriend head on. He looked exceptionally rugged and handsome in his Stetson and Wranglers, the sleeves of the plaid shirt he was wearing rolled up to the elbows, revealing his sunkissed forearms, the ones that made you feel so safe whenever they were wrapped around you.

“Heya, honeybee,” he grinned in that way that had you mentally pinching yourself to remind you that he was real and not just a figment of your wildest dreams. Pushing his hat back with one calloused finger, he lowered his head to plant a slow, lingering kiss on your lips.

“What are you doing here?” you breathed out once he finally pulled back, your eyes half-lidded and your brain feeling a little fuzzy.

“Now what kind of greeting is that when I drove all the way out here to see you?” Rhett teased, reaching out and resting his hand on the shelf behind your head so that he was leaning over you slightly.

You smirked in return, not minding at all the close proximity of his hard, muscled body. “Do Royal and Perry know you’re sneaking off like this?” you asked with a chuckle, one of your fingers trailing lazily along the buttons on his shirt.

“My mom had to take Amy to a doctor’s appointment, so I told them I’d drive into town and pick up some lunch,” he explained, running a hand down your bare arm. You’d worn one of your favorite sundresses today—one that just so happened to be Rhett’s favorite, too—which left your arms and a good portion of your chest exposed to your boyfriend’s hungry gaze. Food clearly wasn’t the only thing on his mind. “I think they figure I’ll be a little while,” he added with a suggestive wink, which made your cheeks grow warm instinctively.

“Hmm, and I was just thinking to myself how lonely things were getting around here. You’ve got some timing, Abbott,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down to you, kissing him deeply.

Rhett responded in kind, a low groan escaping his mouth as his arms wrapped around you and he pressed you tightly to his chest. As the kiss grew more intense, his tongue snaking out to brush against your bottom lip and beg entrance into your mouth, the two of you stumbled backwards, your back slamming up against the shelves you’d just been painstakingly restocking and upending an entire row of men’s deodorant, sending them crashing to the floor.

With low moans of both yearning and frustration, the two of you broke apart and glanced down at the mess you’d made.

“I’ll clean it up later,” you panted with an indifferent shrug of your shoulders, your lips seeking his once more.

“Damnit, honeybee,” Rhett moaned as you bit down gently on his bottom lip, his hands reaching up to play with the straps of your sundress. “You just had to wear this of all things?” he murmured, his voice thick and husky with want.

“Thought you’d like it for dinner tonight,” you whispered, smiling against his mouth.

He threw his head back slightly, which granted you access to his exposed throat. “Like it right now,” he ground out, his fingers running through your hair as you nipped and sucked on his neck. “Fuck, baby, I need you. Right now,” he practically growled, holding you closer so that you could feel just how intense his need was.

“Not here,” you told him, glancing over his shoulder. “Someone might walk in.” You could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, could hear the unsteady rhythm of his breathing. Your own heart was beating wildly, your body aching with just as much need as his. “Come help me with something in the back,” you told him with a mischievous grin, taking his hand and leading him into the back supply room, making sure to close the door firmly behind you.

It wasn’t a huge room, but it felt even smaller with Rhett standing in it, his large, powerfully built frame the only thing your eyes could focus on.

His gaze was fixed on you as well, his blue eyes blazing as he looked at you. He only broke eye contact for a moment to glance around the room, a smile curving his lips as his eyes darted back to your face.

“Never imagined we’d be fooling around in here, honeybee,” he murmured, his pulse racing at the very notion of taking you in the back of your parents’ store, a store which anyone from town could walk into at any moment.

“Do you not want to?” you asked, chewing on your bottom lip and twisting your hand in the folds of your dress.

“Oh, make no mistake, baby,” Rhett rasped, stepping closer to you. “I want to.” His eyes were serious as he suddenly wrapped his hands around your hips and lifted you up onto the wooden worktable that sat behind you, spreading your legs so that he could step between them. “I want to,” he said again, burying his fingers in your hair as he kissed you like a starving man.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” you breathed out, rubbing your body against his and kicking your sandals off so that they fell to the floor. “Someone could—I mean anyone might—”

“Honeybee, trust me,” he cut you off, resting his forehead against yours. “The way you got me goin’, I don’t need much time.”

You mewled softly in response, turned on by his words as he lowered his head to kiss you once more. You were desperate to run your fingers through his hair, but his hat was in the way. Moaning softly against his lips, you reached up and tugged it off his head. For a moment, you considered dropping it next to you on the table, but then a better idea struck you. Smirking slightly, you dropped his hat right on top of your head, feeling the way his body went taut beneath your palms.

“Honeybee,” he grunted, his work-roughened fingers digging into your waist through the fabric of your dress. “You’re really determined to make me lose my damn mind, aren’t you?”

“Come on, cowboy,” you whispered teasingly, your tongue flicking out against his lower lip. “Clock’s ticking.”

Your words seemed to flip some kind of switch in his mind because suddenly he was pulling you to the edge of the table, his hands less than gentle as he shoved your dress up, bunching it around your waist. Slipping his hand between your legs, he pushed your panties to the side and swiped two fingers up your slit without preamble.

“Fuck,” he panted under his breath, his head falling forward to lean against your shoulder. “Already soaking wet for me, honeybee,” he moaned, pressing a kiss to your bare skin just to the right of your dress strap.

You just gasped out his name in response, your arms tightening around him, which spurred him to slip both those fingers inside you, curling them against your spongy walls in a way that had you struggling to catch your next breath.

“Rhett,” you whimpered, burying your face in the crook of his neck as his fingers pumped in and out of you at a relentless pace. He smelled like sweat and sun and the Wyoming earth. He smelled like Rhett. And there was nothing that aroused you more.

“Sh, sh, I got you, baby. I’m gonna take care of my girl,” he murmured softly, peppering your temple and the side of your face with kisses.

“Need you,” you gasped, fisting your hand in the front of his plaid work shirt. “Need you inside me. Now,” you begged, your pulse racing in your veins as the temperature in the back room steadily climbed.

Rhett didn’t put up any argument, his fingers sliding out of you as he reached for the waistband of your panties and tugged them down your legs, leaving the soft scrap of fabric dangling around your ankles, all while you reached for the belt at his waist, unbuckling it with lithe fingers before making quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans.

“Damn, honeybee, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so quickly. Like lightning,” Rhett chuckled hoarsely, pressing a sloppy kiss to your mouth.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” you laughed breathlessly, helping him tug down his jeans and his boxers just enough so that he could free himself from their constraints. He was thick and hard and ready, but he pumped himself a few times for good measure before lining himself up against your entrance.

“You alright, baby?” he asked, stroking your cheek with his free hand. He knew you were usually used to more foreplay than this, and he didn’t want to hurt you.

“Mhm,” you nodded, cupping his face in your hands to reassure him. “Please, baby,” you mouthed against his lips.

Within seconds, he was buried deep inside you, your fingers tangled in his hair and your legs locked around his waist as he began rocking his hips back and forth in an increasingly frenzied rhythm.

It was messy and sloppy and chaotic, and you loved every minute of it. You cherished the moments of slow lovemaking that you and Rhett shared, when he worshiped every inch of your body and took his time giving you more pleasure than you ever could have thought possible. But you also loved these wild and crazy moments, when the two of you were so overcome by your animalistic need for each other that your bodies came crashing together in a way that was so uncontrolled and frantic and perfect because it was yours.

“Rhett,” you moaned, your voice high-pitched with pleasure. “Rhett, Rhett, Rhett,” you cried, tugging on his hair and panting against his ear, your words tumbling out in concert with the sound and rhythm of his thrusts.

“Right here, honeybee,” he gasped out, lacing his fingers through yours as he reached for one of your hands. “I’m right—oh, yeah. Oh, shit, baby. Shit, shit, shit,” he grunted as his movements became more frenetic and out of sync.

You knew he was close. So were you.

“Rhett! Baby, I’m—”

“Sweetheart?”

Everything came to a crashing halt as the sound of your mother’s voice suddenly pierced your consciousness. Your back stiffened immediately and your eyes went wide with horror.

“Rhett!” you whispered frantically, your boyfriend still rutting inside you.

You could tell from the way his head had shot up in alarm that he could hear your mother, too, but he was too far gone now. You both were, and neither of you knew how to stop.

You heard your mother call out your name, louder this time. “Are you here, honey?”

Terrified of what your voice would sound like when you called out to her, you first made sure to clamp a hand over Rhett’s mouth, trying to keep him as silent as possible.

“Y-yes, Mama!” you called out, breathing through your nose to keep from screaming out in pleasure as Rhett continued to pound away, hitting your most sensitive spot. “I’m in the back!”

Rhett’s forehead screwed up in concentration and you felt him take your fingers into his mouth, which sent your eyes rolling into the back of your head in ecstasy.

“Are you okay? Do you need help?” your mother asked. It still sounded like she was near the front of the store.

“No!” you practically shouted, eyes widening once more. “I mean, um, I’m okay! I’ll be out in a m-minute,” you announced, your legs starting to tremble violently.

Burying your face in Rhett’s shoulder, your hand still clamped firmly over his mouth, you rocked your hips against his at an almost violent pace, desperate to drive the both of you over the edge.

You could feel him tense up, caught his gaze as he looked at you, his blue eyes almost hazy from the high of his pleasure. Wordlessly, the two of you stared at one another as, seconds apart, you came undone, your mouth open in a silent scream as your climax tore through you. You could feel the warmth flooding you as Rhett reached his finish as well, his chest heaving as you continued to hold your hand against his lips.

Your mother called your name again as Rhett’s lips met yours in a searing kiss, one that robbed you of any breath you might have had left.

“Just a minute, Mama!” you called, hoping you didn’t sound as lightheaded as you felt.

“God, I love you,” Rhett whispered, holding you close to his chest as he stroked your back slowly.

“I love you, too,” you whispered in return, leaning against him for support.

Knowing you were short on time, he pulled back reluctantly to reach for your panties, sliding them back up your legs and securing them in place. He pressed the fabric against your entrance, knowing it was liable to get messy when you stood up. He dropped a kiss on your forehead before stepping back to adjust his pants, buckling his belt as quietly as possible.

“Grab that box off the shelf,” you instructed him, sliding off the table and adjusting your dress. “There’s no way Mama isn’t going to see you, so we’ll just tell her you were helping me get some things from back here.”

Rhett shot you a mildly skeptical look, but did as you told him, pulling a large box off a high shelf.

Just as you were about to open the door, however, he suddenly hissed. “Honeybee! My hat!”

Gasping, you quickly pulled off his Stetson and dropped it back on his head, grateful that he was paying more attention than you were.

When you and Rhett finally stepped back into the store, your mama looked over and raised a surprised brow.

“Hi, Mama,” you chirped with an overly bright smile. “Rhett just stopped by on his lunch break and offered to help me get some boxes from the back,” you offered before she could even ask.

“Ma’am,” Rhett nodded respectfully, his cheeks turning bright red.

Your mama glanced from you to your boyfriend, then to the back of the store, and back again. You felt your heart plummet inside your chest. Your mother wasn’t a stupid woman. And you weren’t a very good liar.

“Thank you, Rhett,” was all she said, glancing down at the cash register. “Always such a good boy.”

“Of course, ma’am. Um, thank you,” Rhett stammered sheepishly, unable to meet your mother’s eye.

“Um, well, shouldn’t you get going, baby? I’m sure your daddy and brother are getting hungry, waiting on you to bring home lunch,” you said, shooting him a pointed look.

“Oh, yeah,” Rhett nodded, blue eyes widening slightly. “You’re right about that. I best be off. I’ll see you tonight, honeybee,” he told you, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. Turning towards your mother, he tipped his hat in deference before hurrying out the front door.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, your mother turned to look at you, eyebrows arched.

You swallowed nervously, wanting nothing more than for the earth to devour you whole.

“Just be glad, little missy, that it was me and not your daddy who came back early,” your mama said, shooting you a knowing look before pulling out the ledger from underneath the counter. “Now can you go pick up that deodorant that’s all over the floor?”

“Yes, Mama,” you nodded, your mortification complete as you slowly walked towards the back of the store.

As you walked, you felt your phone buzzing in your dress pocket. Pulling it out, you saw it was a text from Rhett.

Sorry, honeybee 😬😘

Smiling despite yourself, you tapped out a quick message in response.

You’ll just have to make it up to me tonight 😉

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #rhett x reader #x reader #x female reader #outer range #lewis pullman

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ctitan98official · 3 months

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Y/N sweeps Larissa off her feet part 2

Read the first part here! Let’s get into it!

As you and Wednesday explore the school, attending various presentations and mingling with parents and students, your mind keeps drifting back to Larissa. Her presence, her smile, and the immediate connection you felt during your brief encounter continue to occupy your thoughts. You’re intrigued, to say the least, and you can’t help but wonder if there’s a possibility for something more.

Wednesday notices your distraction and nudges you playfully. “What’s got you all geeked-out, Y/N?” She teases, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You chuckle and nudge her back. “Just pondering the mysteries of life, my dear Wednesday,” You reply with a mock serious tone. However, you soon scratch the back of your neck nervously. “It’s just… Larissa. She seems like an amazing person.” You say with a dopey smile.

Wednesday arches an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Oh, so we’re already on a first name basis now, huh? You move pretty fast.”

You blush. “Come on, don’t be like that! It’s just… There’s something about her. She’s different. I’d like to get to know her better, that’s all.”

Wednesday’s expression softens and she loops her arm in yours. “You know what? I… Think that’s amazing. You deserve to find someone who makes you feel good.”

You’re surprised by Wednesday’s warm comment and feel a rush of gratitude towards your niece. “Thanks, short stuff. That means a lot to me.”

Wednesday sighs at how open she is being with her emotions. Damn. Is Dr. Kinbott actually helping?? She rolls her eyes in annoyance at the idea. “Don’t get sappy on me, Y/N,” She says. “All you have to do to make this work is take things slow and not scare her away. Okay?” She coaches.

You nod your head at her words. For once, scaring someone is not your goal (An Addams through and through).

Wednesday now adopts an evil smirk. “This could definitely work to my benefit. If she’s being distracted by you, maybe she’ll leave me the hell alone. Don’t screw this up for me, okay?” Wednesday snarks.

“Damn, here I though you actually gave a shit about me,” You grin.

“I just hope you don’t try to be too ‘charming’ with Weems and end up looking like a jackass,” She huffs and shrugs her shoulders.

You feign offense and put a hand over your heart. “Hey, I’ll have you know my charm is one of my best qualities.”

Wednesday snorts in disbelief but doesn’t argue further. She’s silent for a moment before looking up at you and trying to process her thoughts. Her demeanor shifts now. “You’re so important to me, Y/N. I want you to be happy. Don’t fall for her too fast. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Your eyes widen in shock at Wednesday’s heartfelt statement. You smile and wrap your arm around her. “I promise, Wednesday. I’ll be careful.”

Wednesday nods in contentment at your declaration.

With that settled, you and Wednesday continue exploring the school together, engaging in various activities and getting to know some of her classmates. As the day progresses, you find yourself gradually becoming more comfortable in the upscale environment of Nevermore.

During lunch, you catch sight of Larissa across the room, engrossed in conversation with a parent. You feel a surge of nervousness mixed with excitement as you look at her. Trying to maintain a cool demeanor, you walk up to her table and clear your throat to get her attention.

“Larissa,” You say, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Mind if I join you for a moment?”

She turns her gaze toward you, and her eyes light up with genuine pleasure. “Y/N, it’s wonderful to see you again!” She says, scooting over to make room for you. “Please, have a seat.”

The parent who Larissa was just talking to excuses themself and you sit down next to her, unable to hide the hint of nervousness in your voice. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important.”

Larissa waves off your concerns. “Not at all. Just a casual conversation about fundraising initiatives. But… I’d much rather be talking to you,” She says, internally kicking herself for sounding so desperate.

You feel a warmth spread through you at her words. This is your chance to get to know her better. As you engage in a friendly chat, exchanging stories and interests, you find yourself becoming more captivated by Larissa’s wit and sincere passion for the students. She is so different than you. It seems as if you both come from different worlds, but it only fuels your curiosity about her.

Time slips away unnoticed as you and Larissa lose yourselves in each other’s company. Laughter fills the air, and you feel a deepening infatuation for her. It’s as if the world around you has faded into the background, leaving only her.

When it’s time to part ways, you can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. You’ve suddenly begun to crave her presence. You want more.

You give her a quick wave in parting, but before you go, Larissa can’t stop herself from reaching out and placing her delicate hand on yours, a gentle smile gracing her features. “Y/N, I’ve had a truly wonderful time getting to know you today. I’d love to continue our conversation another time, if you’re interested?” She says, heart fluttering.

You return her smile. “I’d love that too, Larissa. How about we grab a cup of coffee sometime? My treat.”

She nods, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “That sounds perfect. There’s a lovely little shop nearby called The Weathervane. What do you think?” She asks.

“That sounds awesome. I’ve actually got business in Jericho in a week or so and I’ll also be coming by to visit Wednesday again. I’ll text you and see when you’re free?” You offer.

Larissa beams at you. “I look forward to it, Y/N.”

You breath catches in your throat at her beauty. You politely tell her goodbye and try not to pass out or look like an idiot as you walk away. That went way better than you expected.

As you make your way back to Wednesday, excitement fills your heart. It seems that Parent’s Day at Nevermore has turned into something amazing—An opportunity to build a new relationship with someone special. You can’t wait.

Masterlist

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x y/n #larissa weems x you #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #principal weems #larissa x reader #larissa x y/n #netflix wednesday

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atruththatyoudeny · 9 months

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Happy28th! Here are all the fics I read and loved this month. I’m probably not saying it enough but all you talented authors in this fandom deserve all the love ♥

Train Tracks and Porcelain | jaerie | [42k] At the first hint of light, Louis was slowly brought back to consciousness by the growing swell of activity around him. It started in the distance with loud clanks and clatters and rose with the hollers of men and thudding of boots against the solid earth. He listened as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes and tried to place any sounds he was familiar with. It took him too long to remember that he wasn’t back in his rented room. The energy was what floated to him next, a buzz that made him peek through the leaves to see what was going on. The next moments happened in the strange slow motion of dawn. Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me) | lululawrence | [83k] The summer before Louis and Gemma's senior year of college was supposed to be their last big hurrah before they graduate college and become Real Adults in the workforce. They had it all planned and it was going to be filled with mornings skateboarding, afternoons at the pool, and evenings hanging out with as many of the neighborhood kids they grew up with as they can. Of course, Louis wasn't planning on getting home and learning that Gemma's dad had gotten the house in the divorce and was dealing with things by focusing on work, the house, and his newly planted garden. It becomes obvious early on that Harry is a bit lost and Gemma is worried about him. To help both of them, Louis is more than happy to help Harry find himself again. As the summer goes on, the adventures and day to day happenings allow Harry and Louis to spend a lot more time together than either of them ever anticipated and Louis finds it more difficult to keep his growing feelings in check than he ever thought it would be. After all, there wasn't a chance that Harry would ever be interested in Louis... right?

waving to the hard times | beardyboyzx | [80k] “When you took power, you promised the people equality, freedom from any form of discrimination, and the peace we were severely lacking. Today, once again, you're proving yourself to be a fake, a clown who rose to power just to think about himself.” Louis turns to look at the General once again and finds himself staring at the way his face seems scrunched up in pure and unadulterated rage. “But we — the people, have had enough of you and your barbarity.” Taking a step forward, the person raises his carbine and points it at the balcony. The crowd gasps and Louis takes his gun out of its holder and points it right back at them. “We've had enough. We're not gonna ask you to stop anymore. We're gonna make you.” -- Twenty-five years ago, a group of alpha soldiers led a revolution to dispose of the beta oppressive monarchy. Louis Tomlinson, the General’s alpha nephew, is set to follow in his footsteps and eventually lead the Country. When the arrest of a beta brings a silent resistance group to show themselves and threaten The General, Louis finds himself questioning the government's true nature and the equality of the law, in a quest that will change him for good.

I Want You to Linger | InsightfulInsomniac | [7k] Louis swallows, suddenly feeling very caught out. “Those… those are all for Harry.” “Yes.” Niall nods. “For Harry, who does not live here.” “I know he doesn’t, but I —“ Louis sets down his pen with a grimace. “Look, I’ll keep them in a box in my room, yeah? I just want him to feel comfortable when he’s over.” “Hm,” Niall hums, looking entirely unimpressed. “Mate, I’m not worried about the things themselves. The vase is actually really fucking nice; we look like proper adults with flowers on our coffee table. I’m saying we should talk about you courting Harry.” *** A friends-to-lovers fic in which oblivious alpha Louis courts his best friend, nests with the gifts he gets him, and is faced with the reality that sometimes telling someone you love them doesn’t go to plan (but turns out better in the end anyway).

Teach Me Your Ways | elsi_bee | [34k] Based on the following prompt: Omega Harry is the newly appointed sex ed teacher and uptight Alpha Louis does not approve of his very open methods. A rivalry ensues until Harry unravels him behind closed doors.

Captain Cupid | 2tiedships2 | [15k] “Right,” Niall started, finally getting the opportunity to unleash his horrible plan. “Well, as you both know, I’m an excellent matchmaker. A human Cupid.The best of the best at finding one's mate. And I’ve decided it’s time to make money doing it.” “Oh, God no,” Louis groaned, picking up his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He needed to escape as quickly as possible. Or the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?

Burning Soul | LarryAlways28 | [39k] MATE. “What?” He whispered to himself. His boots crunched into the dirt as he stepped out of Greyhound bus. The immediate energy he felt was safe, welcoming contentment. He hadn’t felt that in a long time. He squinted as he looked around the small city nestled in the mountains. Or was it a big town? A nearby green sign read “Seven Corners, Population 101,000” ____ Louis is a rogue Omega wolf, all he wants is a new start. Will he allow himself to fully embrace what awaits him, or will he run again, too damaged by past hurt?

You're Not My Type (still I fall) | Imogenlee | [39k] His mum is going to kill him! Well, not kill him. Just give him a right telling off, make him admit she'd been right, then try to confine him to his room until they found a hefty Alpha to look after him and rein him in or something. She wouldn't manage, of course. Harry is only twenty-four and has no inclination to settle down at all, especially not at the behest of an Alpha. But, as his mum would point out, that was the same stubborn attitude that got him here: in his car, in a thunderstorm, on the side of a forsaken lane of some little countryside town in Yorkshire. His mobile's got no signal, his GPS isn't working, and he's running low on petrol, so he can't even use the heater. Oh, and most importantly, his car is stuck in the mud, so even if the GPS was working and he knew where to go, he wouldn’t be able to. He's been in stickier spots; he reminds himself. Way stickier. This is just a bit of rain; it'll blow over. Then Harry will just... well, alright, he isn't entirely sure what to do when the rain stops because he'll still be stuck and lost. But, hey, there won't be any rain, which is something to cheer about.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #monthly fic recs #monthly reads #my reads #larry fics #completed fics

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artiststarme · 1 year

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What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 12

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

This part is mostly just a filler but still fits as part of the story. I worked a 14 hour shift today but wanted to make sure I posted something to keep my everyday posting streak going. So here is an average day in the life of Steve and Eddie, enjoy! The angst will continue tomorrow, I promise.

~*~*~*~

After an amazing several days in the city for the boys, Steve had to go back to work. The coffee shop renovations were completed and Betty was eager to get back to business. He was worried that Eddie would be disappointed at the upcoming mundanity after all the fun they had been having. Over the course of the past few days, Eddie and Steve had seen all the touristy sights they could. Steve took him to the Skydeck at Sears Tower, Shedd Aquarium, the ferris wheel at Navy Pier, Lincoln Park Zoo, and all of the iconic restaurants that he thought Eddie might enjoy. And he did enjoy it. Eddie was having the time of his life, as was Steve. And it wasn’t even just the fun activities that were making them so happy. It was spending time together and learning more about each other that was making them so joyful.

However, their fun had to come to an end eventually. Steve’s shift started at 6 AM when the coffee shop opened and he knew it would feel longer than usual with Eddie waiting for him to finish. From 6 AM to 9 AM, the hours seemed never ending. All Steve wanted to do was go back to his comfortable bed and cuddle with his boyfriend. But instead, he had to deal with increasingly difficult coffee orders from middle-aged customers.

His mood lightened considerably once Eddie stumbled downstairs from his apartment and took a seat at one of the tables facing Steve at the counter. He grinned at Steve and gave him a cheerful wave. His hair was untamed and he was wearing Steve’s only black shirt along with a pair of blue jeans. Steve doesn’t think he’s ever looked better. He waited for a break in the amount of customers before making Eddie a coffee, black with more sugar than coffee. Just how he liked it.

Steve carried it over to him at the table and affectionately pat his shoulder, “Good morning, Eds. What’re you doing?”

Eddie leaned further into Steve’s touch as he took a sip of the coffee and sighed in contentment at the taste. “Mmmm, this is great. 10 out of 10, the best coffee I’ve ever had, thanks babe,” he said before taking another sip. “I’m working on some song lyrics. I had an idea for a new song.”

“Well, I can’t wait to hear it,” Steve murmured before looking at the corner. He saw a few people walking in and sighed, “I have to go but I’ll come back over when it slows back down.”

“No worries, Stevie. I’m fine sitting here, watching my man at work. Go forth and make their brews, barmaid!”

Steve rolled his eyes at his theatrics and raked a hand teasingly through the mop Eddie called hair. He listened to Eddie’s squawk of protest as he went back to work.

Steve knew he loved this job but it had never felt as right as it did just then. Eddie sat in the shop for the entirety of Steve’s shift, smiling whenever they made eye contact and occasionally wandering up to the counter when his coffee cup ran dry. He looked slightly misplaced in the small coffee shop amongst the businesspeople and college students, being the only metalhead present, but Steve wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved looking past

whichever customer he was serving to see Eddie scribbling song lyrics furiously into his notebook with his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated.

Steve was even happier though when his shift ended and he could spare Eddie all of his attention. He had some ideas for what he and Eddie could do once his shift was over at 3 PM but he desperately needed a shower to wash off the sticky smell of coffee. “Hey Eds, let me take a shower really quick and then we can do some more exploring, okay? Didn’t you want to check out some bar tonight?”

Eddie rolled his eyes in fond exasperation, “it’s not just ‘some bar’, Stevie. It’s a gay bar. And your first one so I think we should go. If you’re cool with it.”

Steve looked at him unimpressed. “Why wouldn’t I be cool with it? I’m dating you, aren’t I? We can go tonight.”

He pecked Eddie on the lips before grabbing a clean towel and walking into the bathroom. He wanted to look good tonight if he was going to show Eddie off.

~*~*~*~

Eddie decided to call Uncle Wayne once they returned to the apartment. He had some time to kill while Steve got ready and it had been a couple of days since he had spoken to the man. With a glance to his watch, he nodded and made the call. He knew that Wayne would be heading to his overnight shift at the plant soon but they should have enough time to chat briefly.

“Munson residence, how can I help you?”

Eddie chuckled at such a formal greeting coming from such an informal man, “My god, you answer the phone like a butler. Uncle Wayne, how are things?”

The bored inflection in his tone disappeared once he realized it was Eddie on the line. “Hey son, I’m alright. How’re you liking it in the city?”

Eddie looked at the bathroom door to ensure Steve couldn’t hear him. He could hear the water going still and the muffled sound of Steve singing some Wham! song. Jesus Christ.

“I really like it here, Wayne. Steve’s been amazing and it’s the total opposite of Hawkins. No one even looks at me twice. I think… I think I’d like to stay here.” Eddie whispered into the phone’s receiver.

Wayne was quiet for a moment but when he spoke he was confident. “Look Eddie, I know you’ve never had it easy here. You’ve always been meant for more than this town. If ya like it in Chicago and ya like being with Steve, you should stay there. Ya don’t have to come back to Hawkins.”

Eddie closed his eyes as he processed his uncle’s words. “I don’t want to leave you to live by yourself. And I don’t even know if Steve would want me around all the time. I know I can get annoying.”

“Stop that. Eddie, I’ll be fine on my own. I’ll miss having ya around but I’ve always just wanted ya to be happy. If being in the city with Steve does that, ya should stay there. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He wants to keep ya around,” Wayne reassured him.

Wayne had to get going to make it to his shift on time so they said their goodbyes. Their conversation gave Eddie a lot to think about. He would miss living with his uncle but Hawkins was still relatively close. Close enough to drive back and visit with the old man on a whim. And moving out of Hawkins would definitely make him happy, especially if he could be with Steve. With his mind mostly made up, all he had left to do was have that conversation with Steve.

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Updated Taglist: @nickavalens @conversesweetheart @themostunoriginalpersonever @swimmingbirdrunningrock @eddiethegreatteddybear @harrumphingtons @call-me-big-eyes @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove @thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt @luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy @yearningagain @forest-fogg @bitchysunflower @stardust-era @newtstabber @bobatrash-queen @notjasontxdd @ohlook-afrog @00biscuit @grtwdsmwhr @oxidantdreamboat @the-witch-forever-lives @estrellami-1 @whatthemeepever @a-simple-gaywitch @imzadidragonfly @freddykicksasses @krimsonsimp @whatthefuccck @delta-piscium @anaibis @tinynebula @darkwitchoferie @evix-syne666 @tawghasa @pyrohonk @lillys-weird-world @superduckmilkshake @paintsplatteredandimperfect @tiny-enthusiast @whalesharksart

#soft times in Chicago for Steve and Eddie #just a chapter of the boys being happy #I can guarantee that the kids back in Hawkins are feeling the opposite lol #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #steddie #fanfic #mike wheeler #max mayfield #lucas sinclair

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n0v4t33z · 8 months

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The Syndicate - Chapter 5 : A last goodbye?

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 6.7k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Language, Graphic Violence, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), y/n gets roughed up by Wooyoung like twice , Slow Burn, Fluff sometimes, Work In Progress, Non-Idol AU, Mafia AU, Very suggestive at times, y/n cries alot, y/n having inner turmoil, Ateez being bad boys, Wooyoung and Yeosang are a little mean in this story tbh, Guns, Gunshot wounds, Assassination attempt(s), mentions death and acts of violence

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

It’s been about a week since the police discovered my “body”, so a change in hair color and style completely shedding everything from past me thus turning me into Someone whom I don’t fully recognize anymore. I just didn't realize how weird that was going to be. From the start I decided I wanted to attend my funeral and see my family and friends one last time and today was the day but of course I wasn’t allowed to attend by myself. San for obvious reasons wasn’t going to be the one going with me since his face is already widely known by the police. A mafia kingpin attending a police funeral was out of the question and dangerous so Seonghwa volunteered to come with me since he’s not in any of the federal databases. Not to mention the funeral will be a public one so many civilians of Ulwood and Lulens along with others from the surrounding towns will be visiting so we have a very low chance of being discovered.

While I look at myself one last time in the mirror, I make sure that nothing appearance wise was out of place. My once dark makeup has now been replaced with a more sophisticated and more glamour take on it, a tight form fitting black dress and a black trench coat over the whole ensemble with some black Mary Jane high heels to tie it all together. Definitely not something I would have normally worn but none the less it's cute at least. I stare at my freshly dyed and styled hair making me realize that seeing myself in the mirror is so haunting. I get the chills to the point it makes me feel physically sick. Internally I’m not ready to let go but on the outside I look like a completely different person now meaning I kind of have to. For my family's sake at least. I don’t look like y/n anymore so there’s no reason to hang on to my old identity. It hurts even more knowing that I’m going to have to live like this for the rest of my life all because of one selfish person. I wish I could stop feeling because maybe, just maybe it’ll make everything much more tolerable or who knows maybe i'll just grow to live with it. A knock at the door startles me, and shortly after when the door is opened I realize it’s San. He holds my hand and gently places a kiss on it looking deeply into my eyes. “You look stunning angel eyes, Seonghwa says everything is ready to go but please do me a favor and stay close to him and be careful.” I nod and tightly hug him “I really wish you could go with me.” He wraps his arms around me and kisses my shoulder “I know baby, but you know why I can’t.” I sigh burying my face in his neck, his hand immediately rests on the back of my head for a bit until he pulls back and gives me a pained smile “I promise when you come back I’ll be here okay?” I bite the inside of my lip and nod. San leads me out of my room and helps me make my way outside holding my hand down the stairs.

Immediately upon stepping foot outside I see it’s very downcast, how fitting. Shitty weather for a shitty day. Either way I decide to put on some sunglasses realizing my eyes are probably not going to be open unless I’m wearing them since despite it being cloudy and a bit rainy it was oddly bright out. After San helps me make my way into to the car where Seonghwa was waiting, he looks over at me and chuckles “Wow, you really do look like a different person now but, in a good way.” I force a smile and say under my breath “Yep, now to keep up the act. If anyone asks I’m Lola, one of y/n’s friends and you’re my boyfriend. Got it?” He turns on the ignition and he turns to me with a slight grin on his face “Okay, got it. Luckily we somewhat match.” I look over and notice Seonghwa wearing a simple black dress shirt and black tailored dress up pants with a black wool overcoat, his undercut slightly styled for a more dressed up look. I bite the inside of my lip and stifle a laugh. “Well I mean of course it’s a funeral Hwa.” He turns away hiding his smile. "Right, my mistake darling."

Once we arrive it was raining, but not very hard to where we needed an umbrella. Just in case Seonghwa takes the umbrella in the glove box. He gives me a very faint smile and offers me his free arm “Ready?” I nod and link my arm with his, while walking to the ceremony site I notice a lot of familiar faces, some being the commissioner of the Ulwood police, Detective Chris, my family, and Captain Lee just to name a few. The ceremony begins and Seonghwa gently nudges me and leans in and whispers “If you need to cry, do it. It will give you closure.” I nod and I stand there watching my own funeral. For a few minutes I can’t wrap my head around what I’m watching until I see my own mother and father cry over their own daughter’s death. I don’t know why but it broke something in me, I felt it. I tighten my grip around Seonghwa’s arm while I swallow hard to try and get rid of the huge knot in my throat. Seonghwa looks over at me and has my head rest on the side of his arm. It isn’t until I notice my former partner Chris who was there comforting my mother while my father stood there with a very empty look in his eyes that my vision slowly blurs and I silently begin to cry. I hug Seonghwa’s arm tightly and he pulls me into a hug gently patting my head. Never again after this will I see my family and the people I care about, I can’t even give them a proper goodbye. My heart hurts for my family and friends, the fucking balls that old geezer has to even show his face here. This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for him. Once the commissioner makes an opening speech Captain Lee stands close by the commissioner where he calls him up to the podium. Before anything he briefly looks around to the attendees before speaking. “Detective y/n/ln was a one of a kind subordinate, she worked hard and was great at her job. To her being a detective wasn’t just a job, it was in her blood to serve and protect the community she loved and grew up in. Sadly she was taken from us too soon and she will be dearly missed. I promise we will bring justice to her and her memory, just how she brought justice to many people in her community. I, Captain Steven Lee will make sure those people pay.” I clench my fists in my pockets.

Seeing that man lie through his teeth makes my insides churn, and if it wasn’t for all these people I would have risked it all to kill this dirty old man already. A few moments after Captain Lee finishes his speech Detective Chris takes the stand and unfolds a piece of paper presumably his speech “Well, I never thought I’d be having to stand here recalling memories of how great my partner Detective y/ln was but here we are, the sad reality of it.” Chris stops for a moment, takes a deep breath and continues. “She was someone you could really count on, the amount of times she saved me from getting in trouble was pretty comical. She was also very hardworking and was determined to always solve the case she was working on because in her own words she “Wanted to bring peace to the victims and family.” She was also the kindest person I knew, so much so that she always bought me coffee every morning just to help me wake up because of my tendency to stay up working. Me and her were a dynamic duo, the best partner anyone could ask for but at the same time she was a prodigy in the making in her own line of work. So to you y/ln, I hope you’re doing alright. I’ll finish what you started and will always be a great inspiration to me.” Chris’ gaze lowers, his eyes looking very sleepless and tired. He folds up the piece of paper and walks over to retrieve my parents. He helps adjust the microphone for my mother and stands next to her in case my parents needed help. She then says in the most broken tone of voice I've ever heard my mom speak in “Burying one’s child is a mother’s worst nightmare, but the way my daughter was killed was a very violent and horrible death. My only wish is for those people to be caught and bring my daughter the justice she deserves.”

Hearing my mother’s broken voice causes tears to begin running down my cheeks again, seeing those eyes of sadness. “My daughter was the sweetest girl you’d ever meet, so caring and loving. I’m proud to say that I’m her mother because she was so talented at catching the bad people out there, she was committed in blood, sweat and tears to helping people because it was something she really loved. She was a very kind soul. Sweetheart…” Her voice trails off and both my dad and Chris gently hold and pats her back. “Sweetheart, my little y/n I hope you’re in a better place. You know mom, dad and everyone close to you loves you so much. Especially me and your dad, we love you so much and we very much miss you everyday that you’ve been gone, I love you so much my little angel and may you be in peace my beautiful little girl.” Right after finishing her speech my mom begins to cry, while my teary eyed father and Chris help walk my mom off the stand. I heard the pain in her cries, she was hurt. Who could blame her, she thinks I’m dead. Almost like if it was on queue a low rumble of thunder echoes and the rain begins to fall heavily. I turn to Seonghwa and in a very hushed tone I say “Let’s go.” I turn around with a huge knot in my throat and begin to walk away as fast as my legs could take me not caring how the heeled part of my shoes sunk into the already muddy ground. Eventually when he catches up to me after I've come to a hard halt, and in one swift motion he puts the umbrella over me. One of my aunts looks over to Seonghwa and I slowly approaching us

"Hi sweetheart I don't want to be a bother but I swear you look familiar, I don't think I've ever seen you before though." My stomach drops and I gently squeeze Seonghwa's arm while a small smile forms on my lips "I'm very certain we've never met before ma'am I'm one of y/n's closest friends. My name is Lola and this is my boyfriend." Seonghwa extends his hand and shakes my aunt's hand and says "I'm Jun, another close friend of y/n, It's very nice meeting you ma'am." My aunt reaches over to shake Seonghwa's hand and while reaching over to hold mine she says "Wow, looking at you closely you look and sound kind of like her too but I think it's just my head playing tricks on me. It still just hasn't dawned on me her she's gone. None of this feels real." I nod then I rest my other hand over hers gently squeezing it and not letting go. Something inside me isn’t letting me let go. "Yes, few people have commented we looked alike pretty frequently and even called us sisters but in all honesty we're polar opposites. She was always way funnier that's for sure but I see where you're coming from because me and Jun miss her so much, right babe?" I look back at Seonghwa and he nods and says in a somber tone "Yes we do miss her alot, she loved coming over to our place and have dinner with us since she lived alone." My aunt smiles "I'm glad she had some very sweet friends who looked out for her and helped her feel less alone. She always did tell me she felt lonely." She looks over where the gathering was being held and says "Well I'll let you guys go now, it was nice meeting you two, please take care." I wave goodbye in fear of her hearing my voice break and under my breath with the smallest whisper I respond "You too, please take care."

I don’t even make it inside the car before I remove my sunglasses and I break down, my legs giving out from under me causing me to kneel holding onto the side of the car. Seonghwa gives me a look of worry and kneels over to my side making sure he's covering the both of us under the umbrella and he holds me tight. He stays quiet for a while listing to my sobs then he lets out a sigh “I’m so sorry y/n. I can’t imagine how you feel, it must be the worst pain imaginable.” He helps me up while I bury my face in his chest unable to keep it together “Hwa...It hurts. I can’t live with myself knowing I’ve inflicted so much pain. I can’t do it. I can't live with this for the rest of my life.” I hold the fabric of his wool jacket tightly. I feel him rest his chin on top of my head while clearing the stray hairs away from my face. He slightly lowers his face down to my ear and with a voice low enough so that only I could hear him he gently rests his forehead on the side of my head “Please don’t say that, I know it hurts but just remember they’ll be okay. The pain they’re feeling now is only temporary. Think about it this way, he can’t threaten you with anything because he thinks you’re dead. I promise you we’re all going to help you, San is going to help you. You both have the same goal and it’s to get rid this guy, you’ve got the upper hand now he’ll be gone much sooner than originally planned.” He gently pats my head and steps back gently wiping away the tears under my eyes. I look up at him still teary eyed and bottom lip still slightly trembling “Thank you for being the brother I never had Hwa.” He furrows his eyebrows and gives me a melancholy expression clearly forcing a smile “Of course, I’ve grown to care a lot about you so It hurts to see you hurting like this.” He breaks eye contact causing us to both look around and realize the ceremony was about to end so he turns back to me and softly says “Come on let’s go, you need some rest. You’re probably exhausted.”

When we arrive back at the headquarters I kick off my shoes immediately upon stepping into my room, I remove my coat and wrap myself under my covers and lay there not really caring that my dress and legs are still slightly wet from the funeral. I lay there crying to the point my eyes could no longer cry feeling completely numb for what felt like hours, it wasn’t until there was a knock at my door. I decide not to answer from the lack of energy I had left in me. Suddenly the door opens and it was San, he walks in and quietly closes the door behind him. He glances at me and notices I’m awake and sits next to me. “Hey, how are you doing? Seonghwa told me what happened, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to comfort you. ” He gently strokes my hair and continues “Look at you, I can’t stand seeing you like this, I’ll stay here for as long as you need me.” I shake my head and finally gather up the strength to say in a low voice “Just go. Just leave me here, I don’t have the energy to talk to anyone.” He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb and says “We don’t have to talk, I can just sit here and give you company. You’re in a really delicate state right now and I can’t just leave you to dwell in your own thoughts like that. I know how dark it can get.” I lay there staring at the ground with an expressionless gaze, San lays down behind me and turns me around so that my head is comfortably resting on his chest. His scent being something that’s become a thing of comfort, something to help remind me that I’m not alone. Sadly at the moment, my emotions aren’t registering it at all and I lay there completely still with my brain constantly replaying everything again from the way my mother cried and my dad’s empty gaze to Chris’ sleepless and exhausted look in his eyes. I don't think any of that is going to leave me anytime soon. San presses his lips on my shoulder from behind me “What am I going to do now?” he hums in response and I continue "After all this is over, will I have to start over or am I going to have to come clean to my family?” San rests his chin on my shoulder “Well, I think that’s your call babe. It all depends on what you feel is right. I think when the moment comes you'll figure it out.” Well that didn’t help. Maybe I should just wait until it happens, maybe things will change for the better. I turn in San’s direction and gently stroke his cheek with my thumb. “You’re right, I guess I just need a little more time to think about it.” He smiles and kisses my forehead showing me his dimpled smile.

“Don't think about it too much right now. How about we just relax and get your mind off of it." San clears my hair from my face and lovingly looks into my eyes and leans in to place his lips onto mine while holding onto my face. His free hand slowly roams around my body before settling on my lower back. He slowly kisses down to my neck gently leaving a soft trail of kisses. "I can make you feel good baby." His hand gently squeezes my thigh and bites my neck causing me to let out a soft sigh. I can't do this, it doesn't feel right. I'm supposed to be mourning, or at least for tonight. It'll be so wrong of me to give in to temptation under this circumstance. Before he's able to kiss me any lower I pull away "Wait no, San. Stop." He worriedly furrows his eyebrows and responds slightly out of breath from working himself up "y/n? Is everything okay?" I gently cup my hands onto his face "Please let's not do this.. I-I can't right now. It doesn't feel right. I know you wanted to help me forget but I can't right now. " He gives me a soft dimpled smile "Of course princess. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. I'm so sorry I even tried something like that it was very disrespectful of me." Wow, he apologized and accepted the boundaries I set? Any other guy would have definitely gotten upset about that. "It's just, it's not the right time right now." He kisses my forehead and pulls me closer to him "I understand angel eyes you don't need to apologize, just close your eyes baby. I'll stay here with you." He really is very convincing at being someone's boyfriend, I just can't help but to think how nice it would have been if we were both just regular people. If maybe I still wasn't so scared of him. Maybe I can dream about it without it breaking my heart because in all honesty I can only imagine how he'd feel knowing I still struggle to see the "real" San despite how kind he's been. I close my eyes slowly drifting off to sleep while he gently strokes my hair.

Eventually my thoughts put me to sleep till the next morning, San was sleeping next to me only to realize my makeup wasn’t on anymore. Did he actually remove my makeup while I was asleep? If so, that was very thoughtful of him. I get up and walk into the shower and just stand there with a blank mind until I find the strength to finish showering. As much as I want to stay in bed and mope around and just dwell in my sadness I can’t, and I won’t rest until that man has paid his debts. I know I'm pretty weak minded in things like love but for sure not when it comes to getting people back. Once I’m done I slowly open the door to the bathroom, careful not to wake San up from his sleep. I tippy toe back into the bed and cuddle with him for a few minutes, he realizes my soapy scent and buries his face on the crook of my neck clearly very comfortable until I very delicately and gently stroke his hair and kiss his cheek “Sannie, time to wake up.” I hear a pouty groan escape his lips and says under his breath “5 more minutes.” I gently kiss his cheek and I say “Sannie please?” He sleepily looks up at me, gives me a small smile and pulls me into a soft kiss and says “Well, good morning angel eyes.” I smile and I say “Good morning.” San gently cups his hand on my cheek and gently rubs my cheek with his thumb giving me a dimpled smile “Your smile, it came back.” I nod and look at San reassuringly “Well, as much as I don’t have the strength for anything and I wish I could lay here and do nothing but be sad and cry. It’s not going to fix anything.” San sits up and sighs. “That was me when I lost my father, I felt exactly that same way. So, I know where you’re coming from. I know you didn’t exactly lose anyone to death but the fact that you won’t be seeing them again kind of counts as one.” I nod silently and feel San’s arms wrap around me and says “Again, I’m sorry I wasn’t there but knowing Seonghwa was there to comfort you makes me feel a little better. Although I’m jealous because he’s not recognized at all meanwhile the whole police department knows who I am and what I look like. I hate to think that at one point I didn’t think it even mattered, I just wanted to be feared. But now it hurts knowing that for being so easily recognizable I couldn’t attend an event so important to you.”

He takes a small pause and says in a very broken tone “I’m so sorry.” He buries his face in my neck while I gently pat his head “Hey it’s okay, I understand your situation but look to be fair you didn’t even know me back then anyway so how could you have known? It really is okay, as long as I have you here now it really doesn’t matter at all so don’t be so hard on yourself.” I sit there waiting for San to answer but he never does. “Come on, please don’t feel bad for me It really is okay I promise. Yes, I’m still sad about yesterday but seeing my parents and other people I care about brought me so much peace and closure. Even Seonghwa told me how now that Captain Lee thinks I’m dead he has nothing to try and threaten anyone with because I’m already dead and he doesn’t know I’m working for you.” I’m going to try and hide how much I’m dying on the inside for you, so I don’t make you feel responsible for any of my pain. The thought of burdening anyone with it doesn't settle well with me. “Ah come on, let’s go eat I know you’re hungry come on.” I get up and I grab both of his arms and try to pull him up “Come on!!” He looks at me with a and finally gets up “Okay, I am kind of hungry actually” While he buttons up his shirt he pulls me in for a kiss. I giggle amid the kiss and pull back "I was talking about food silly" He raises his eyebrow and feigns innocence "Yeah, that's what I was referring to. What were you thinking of you dirty girl?" I stammer feeling my cheeks burn "I thought that's why you-" He chuckles seeing me struggle to form a sentence "You're so cute when you're flustered, it makes it even more satisfying knowing It was because of me." He rolls up his sleeves and leans in to kiss my forehead "I'll see you downstairs in the kitchen angel eyes."

San manages to sneak out of my room unnoticed leaving me alone in the room trying to compose myself from whatever "that" was. Giving me plenty of time to get ready for the day but a few minutes later while heading down the hall I bump into Hongjoong “I was just about to come look for you but if you’re up for it could you come and help me?" I look at the white haired man and realize he was waiting for me to answer so I let out a small hum queuing to continue speaking "So I’m trying to overload the police department's servers...” I slightly raise an eyebrow “Wait, why do that? We have access to all of their documents, reports and stuff like that on the servers.” A small smirk creeps onto his face and says “True, but we’re going to override the security camera servers which is conveniently and stupidly connected to the police department servers and no, we’re not doing this to take information” I tilt my head “What’s it for then?” He shrugs realizing asking me was a mistake “I’m not sure?” I slightly narrow my eyes “What? I'm so confused. Please don’t tell me San is planning something..” Hongjoong shakes his head “Nah.” I cross my arm in front of my chest “Okay, then what’s it for?” He rolls his eyes and begins to walk past me “Nevermind..” I walk behind Hongjoong and grab onto the sleeve of his hoodie and immediately he turns and gives me a glare “Please don’t.” I hold onto his sleeve a little tighter “Just tell me, is it bad?” Hongjoong looks at me then shifts his gaze behind me and stays silent. “Wasn’t expecting you to ask so many questions, maybe you should just do as you’re told. That’s all you’re good for anyway.” A familiar voice booms behind me scaring me half to death, which is none other than Wooyoung. It was only now that I notice the delicate mole under his eye decorating his signature scowl so I let go of Hongjoong’s sleeve and fully turn to Wooyoung “Can’t I just ask why I’m doing something?” He forces a very ill intended smile narrowing his eyes “You do as you’re told around here last time I checked no questions asked.” I shake my head “Sorry, I’m under San’s command not yours because last time I checked San was the boss around here.” He darkly chuckles and slowly walks towards me “You really love to run your mouth don’t you?”

I only now realize that not only is Hongjoong long gone but Wooyoung is now cornering me in such a way where my back hits the railing to the indoor balcony right before going down the stairs. Without another word Wooyoung grabs me by the throat catching me off guard from how sudden it was and pushes me so far back to where my feet are off the ground and I’m teetering between falling down onto the marble floor below and being able to stand on my own feet. By instinct I reach over and claw at Wooyoung’s iron fist. “I hate you, you know that? I wish I could just see your itty little cop brain splatter onto the floor below.” He says with anger seething though his words “Wooyou-” I manage to hoarsely utter before he cuts me off “You wanted to know why I had Hongjoong ask you to help him overload the servers?” Without waiting for me to utter anything else he continues while keeping a constant iron grip around my throat. “Because we’re breaking into the Evidence room to get what we need. There, happy? See how anti climactic that was? And here you were making a huge deal about it by asking too many questions when you could have just agreed as you were asked.” He pulls me back and lets go of my throat causing me to fall to the ground and immediately reach for my throat while violently coughing. The dark haired male stifles a laugh “Oh come on I wasn’t even squeezing that hard.” I glare up at him while coughing only receiving a taunting smirk whilst he walks away “You won't speak to San about this or I'll make sure you don't speak again, see ya around..” After a few more seconds of coughing I mange to catch my breath and head downstairs. Fuming not only from the situation with Wooyoung but the fact that San is willing to not only sacrifice lives but also get ourselves caught all over something he could wait to retrieve.

I head to the kitchen and notice San was there eating a bowl of cereal, he smiles and waves at me while he signals me to sit next to him “This is sudden but, can I ask you something?” Feeling my eyes already threatening to betray me San nods while shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth “So when were you planning on telling me about AS breaking in to the police department’s evidence room?” I sit next to him and noticed he stopped chewing, and very carefully swallows his cereal “Who told you?” My stomach drops seeing him slowly turn his head to look at me. I know Wooyoung threatened me not to speak but I can't just take it silently and watch San screw himself over like that so I manage to swallow my fear and respond with an expressionless look. “Wooyoung, he told me needed me to help override the police department’s servers. San, you do know that most of the people that go on that heist might not come back at all right? Not only that but do you realize you’re risking all of us getting caught? ” He sits back on the chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest and lets out a sigh “Yeah I know, but just as easily as people die I can easily replace them and for the getting caught part that’s not going to happen because we’re all going to be extra careful..” I look away slightly taken a back from his statement trying to find words to answer him. Why am I not surprised? I know who this man is and what he does. I guess my love for him has somewhat turned into me seeing him with rose colored glasses. Something that if you asked me about a few months ago I would have refused to believe but here I am remembering the harsh reality that this isn’t just any guy. “Okay then why exactly am I here if we’re going to do things the way you’ve always done them, reckless and messily?” He shrugs “You know why, we’re not going to talk about it here.” He's shutting down. I look at him slightly irritated and tilt my head “Excuse me? You’re acting as if that cufflink is your top priority right now and it shouldn’t be, we need to take down Captain Lee before we even get to the cufflink understand that. Barging in like that will only upset him and you know that. Being impatient won’t work in your favor and it’s only going to get you caught much faster, you’re so reckless. It’s not all about you anymore, you promised we were both going to take him down. So either we do it the right way or I go and do it on my own. I’m sorry but I can’t leave that man to walk away free. He ruined my life!” He turns to me with a darkened gaze “No, you’re not going anywhere. You can’t leave.” I stare him down with anger seething in my gaze causing his to soften, in a soft voice he says while reaching over to hold my hand “Please...Don’t.” I get up, pull my hand away “Then think about it.” I get up and leave before he's able to respond.

I decide to walk around the headquarters aimlessly trying to calm myself down. It's the beginning of the day and already way too much has happened. Wooyoung is a problem, especially with the part where he nearly threw me off the second floor just because I asked a simple question. I really need to be careful around him, I need to tell someone but It can’t be San though. I know for a fact that he’ll make a rash decision, something tells me that he's crazy enough to kill him if I say something. I just can't let San be reckless anymore either, not just because of the Captain Lee situation but because I really grew to care about him and I don’t want him to end up in jail and possibly get murdered for his affiliations and ties in the Mafia world. I need him to realize he can’t just do what he wants without there being consequences for his actions. He has to understand things will never be solved if he keeps being reckless, because someone will always find a way to take advantage of that recklessness and it'll lead to what I fear the most these days which is him getting hurt or worse. San getting killed.

While stuck in my thoughts I bump into Jongho, he looks over at me and smiles “Hey y/n good morning.” I force a smile and say “Oh good morning Jongho.” He cocks his eyebrow with a puzzled look “What are you doing here, you’ve never been all the way over here. Are you looking for something?” I shake my head slowly and look down while fidgeting my hands, he puts his hand on my shoulder “y/n? Is something wrong?” I clasp my hands together and I very carefully look back up at him “Well, Wooyoung almost threw me over the railing and I thought I was going to die but I'll get to that later, because I also kinda got upset at San and told him he was being reckless because I’m sure you know of the heist he was planning to do right?” Jongho’s jaw drops and pats my shoulder and whispers “What?! What do you mean you almost died?! And yeah, I knew about it. In fact we all do.” I shake my head “You’re all going to get yourselves killed.” He blinks in confusion and I answer back in an increasingly irritated voice “Is everyone dumb around here?! We’re supposed to kill captain Lee first this heist is basically a suicide mission, you won’t get out alive and if you do you'll for sure be followed. I’m telling you this because I know.” Jongho pats my back again trying to calm me down “Okay, calm down. I think maybe San isn’t thinking very clearly but then again he isn’t really the type to care if any of his foot soldiers get hurt because he can always find new ones.” I cross my arms in front of my chest “Yeah, I’m trying to get him to be more low key about everything now, there’s no way we’ll get rid of Captain Lee if he’s expecting us.“ Jongho presses his lips together and lets out a small exhale “Yeah but San is...you know. He’s obsessed about making everyone fear him. Not to mention his father's death just made his hate towards Lee and everyone else more evident. He gets drunk off of feeling powerful which is why he’s so reckless, of course for a while he calmed down when you first arrived for some odd reason but he’s going at it again. The sad part is we all have to follow his orders even if we don’t agree with them..” I slowly nod while I focus my gaze at a distance. “Well, I made it very clear that if he doesn’t change his plans I was going to take matters into my own hands and handle it on my own.”

What else am I supposed to do? As scared as I am to defy San I can’t let that person live without paying for what he’s done. “Did he get upset?” he asks in a slightly worried tone, and I shrug. “I don't know, all I know is that it got him thinking.” Jongho stands there for a few seconds processing everything “Well, if you manage to change his mind that would be nice. If not, seeing you go off by yourself will most certainly worry me and Seonghwa considering you have nowhere to go.” I smile and I gently pat Jongho’s arm “Nah, don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. I have a feeling San isn’t going to tell me to leave.” San can’t be that selfish right? He's been nothing but caring and sweet, I hope he wasn’t just being nice to me and asked me to be his girlfriend just so he could find a way to control me. Jongho chuckles and says “Wait, what makes you say that?” Instantly I realize I just hinted at something I wasn’t supposed to. I shrug while I take a strand of my dyed hair and tuck it behind my right ear “I don’t know, I mean San and I grew pretty close, there’s no reason he'd send away a friend like that.” He approvingly nods “Honestly despite how violent San's schemes are he has a big heart. He protects it behind that tough exterior and pretends he doesn’t care but in reality I can tell he knows his heart is his major weakness which reminds me it’s actually rare for him to immediately trust someone so quickly and become so vulnerable. How did you do it?” I slightly force a laugh and say “Why the sudden interest? Is it really that weird?” He crosses his arms and gently taps his foot on the floor “Okay don’t take this the wrong way because I’m just being honest, but yes it kinda is a little weird.” I stand there with a million thoughts running through my mind then I blurt out “Not as weird as the hatred Wooyoung has for me, I’m still in shock I was a hair away from dying.” Jongho sighs looks around and slightly lowers his voice again “Wooyoung unfortunately acts on his own, and no one can keep a grip on him except San. I’m sorry you’re continuously having to endure trauma back to back. I'm sure it's very distressing.” I nod “I understand, I just wanted to tell someone here in case he actually does end up killing me.” He reaches for my shoulder again and gives me a squeeze of reassurance “Rest assured he won’t, he knows this because if he does San won’t hesitate to kill him. Wooyoung also respects San too much to ever defy him so I’m pretty sure he’s just picking on you because it’s the only thing he can get away with.”

Part of me has a feeling that most likely the simple answer is also because he hates cops, so he picks on me because he can't kill me. Which I understand. He just always seems to point it out. Before I’m able to even say a word San calls my name out from down the hallway. Both Jongho and I turn and look at San then at each other and while he walks towards us Jongho says under his breath “We’ll talk later, this stays between us.” Jongho looks over at San who was now a few feet away from us he says “ I’ll leave you two to talk” San grabs Jongho’s shoulder and stops him from walking away “No, actually I want you to listen too so you can help me tell everyone else but we’re actually postponing this heist. y/n made me realize we’re putting a lot at steak with the heist.. ” San looks at Jongho almost like he was telepathically telling him something, then Jongho nods in understandment “No need to worry, I’ll let everyone know.” A small smile grows onto San’s face as he pats Jongho’s shoulder “You can go now, I just wanted to let you know about this as soon as possible. You should gather everyone to let them know, I’d do it now but I have a special job I need y/n to work on that I need to explain to her.” I look over at San with a blank expression, I have no idea what’s happening or how he managed to change his mind so quickly. So he really does care about me and was serious about not wanting me to leave.

Jongho walks off leaving both San and I alone, eventually a few seconds later he breaks the silence. “So, I realized you’re probably bored and you probably want something to do right?” San shoves his hands in his pockets and we begin walking down the hall “I mean yeah I do kinda get bored sometimes why? Are we going to do something about Captain Lee now?” San presses his lips into a feigned smile “Actually, about that. Right now I have a few things up my sleeve but I’ll let you know about it later. What I really want you to do right now is I was wondering if you could run a few errands for me” My eyes immediately narrow and I turn to look at San “What kind of errands?” He fixes his rolled up sleeves “I’m going to give you a list of a few people I need you to investigate for me, we’re planning on working with these people but I’m still not sure if we should trust them. I need you to find their connections and see if they’re reliable. The moment I find out they’re working with the enemy I’m going to drop them. Also, you’ll also be able to leave the headquarters as you please in case you need to observe them.” I smile and tightly hug San, he responds by gently patting my back then returning my hug. “Oh?” I pull back and clasp my hands together “I'm sorry. I just got excited because I finally get to be of use now and because you trust me. That really means a lot. Not to mention this might benefit us...I mean you, not me.” His mouth curves into a warm smile “No, you’re right it’ll benefit you too. You’ll be able to gain more experience from this and you’ll be able to maintain your abilities sharp. I know you’re able to take care of yourself but remember that if things get difficult don’t hesitate to let me know, I don’t want you to get hurt. “ San walks up to a door in the hallway and opens it then looks back at me “I also made sure to get you your own workspace, I know it’s still somewhat empty but I was thinking maybe you’d like to decorate it yourself and make it your own.” I peek my head inside the dimly lit room and l notice there was a small desk and a computer. The room was small but not small enough to where it felt cramped. It was the perfect size. I turn to look at San who was already looking at me with a shy smile on his face “So, do you like it? Or is the room too small?” I quickly shake my head and reach over to grab his hand “No, It’s perfect. Back at the station I only had my work desk and computer in the same cramped room as everyone else and that’s it only higher ranking people had offices so this makes me feel a bit special. Thank you.” He walks over to the desk and gently pats it for me to sit down. I sit down on the crinkly new leather chair. When I meet San's eyes he gives me a weird indecipherable look.

He then pulls out a phone from his pocket and hands it to me and says “Please don’t make me regret giving this to you.” I take the phone and I shake my head “No, of course not. I promise I’m not going to do what you’re thinking. I promise I don’t have any plans of helping the police and you should know that. I'm all yours.” I give him a soft smile and he immediately says “Alright, so I’ll leave you to it. I have to go but remember, I love you.” I let out a soft scoff and I say “Stop phrasing things so weird, you sound like you’re going to die or something.” San forces a half hearted smile and says “Of course I’m not going to die I just wanted you to know that’s all.” He leans over to me and gently kisses my forehead reaching into his pocket and putting a fat wad of cash in the palm of my hand "I’ll get going now, get yourself something nice you deserve it.” Before I'm even able to say something I stay seated in my chair and stare at the phone and the wad of cash he gave me. He’s acting a bit weird, something tells me something bad is going to happen.

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#ateez series #ateez fanfiction #choi san x reader #park seonghwa x reader #ateez x reader #ateez imagine #ateez angst #fic: the syndicate #mafia au #ateez fanfic #non idol au #slow burn

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araedi · 23 days

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I promised an update on my life/activity and stuff, so here it is! I’ll stuff it all under the cut but the tldr is I’m still here just on a super slow. I’m always down for chats and interactions as long as you’re cool with that!

I’m quite private about myself online so gonna keep this brief (lol watch me do anything but), but I feel like I keep circling back to apologising every few months for not being here enough then punishing myself over it when I’m not magically active again. It’s ultimately a hobby but I still feel bad that people writing with me could be feeling let down/ignored, so I wanted to drop this rather than keep on cycling the same apology until it feels hollow.

Life’s a Lot right now: I’m currently juggling two part time jobs, pretty much full household responsibilities for three people, night-school with essays, and an emotionally intensive placement as part of my training which also involves paperwork. Home life is also less than ideal (won’t go into details). On top of this, I have chronic health problems alongside chronic pain so most days I’m just crabby and exhausted; my mental health could be better but rn it just feels like I’m treading water to get to a place where I’ll have fewer commitments.

Ultimately rp and writing/creative stuff in general is part of how I unwind so I’ll always be around because this outlet is so rewarding, but as it stands I’m just so mentally and pysically drained that when I do have the time I’d rather just switch my brain off and play a bit of a game and have a sliver of social life than try to force out writing which is gonna be sub-par. I’ve been feeling kinda down about my writing for a bit and just feel like I’m giving the same post over and over, which also isn’t helpful!

As for my activity and where y’all fit: I’m still around and intend to be; still responding to DM’s on Discord or IM’s on here (unreliable though they are -_-) just being ridiculously slow with replies and popping reblogs or replies out just as and when. I’m not the type to up and quit, hell I’ve been on this blog for years so I’m going nowhere, just on the go-slow with the odd spurt of like 3-5 replies.

Of course I 100% understand if this weird unpredictable activity doesn’t fit for you: we all have different needs and expectations with this hobby and if me only showing up now and again isn’t gonna work that’s totally ok and you don’t have to follow or write with me: it’s been a blast knowing you!

If you’re chill to stick around and deal with my slowness, please know I WILL get to replies, even if it’s at glacial pace. I’ll post a shot of my tracker/a list up in the future so I can be 100% on what I owe and know you can always check in with me/hold me accountable for stuff. Please know you can ALWAYS drop stuff in my ask boxes, whether it’s memes or questions for muses or just crack. It always puts a smile on my face <3 if I received it I’ll reply to it, so barring just a few memes I have nothing else waiting!

This all being said I would LOVE to build up more long term/in-depth character relationships and sustained interactions over multiple threads. I love getting to know my rp partners beyond the muses – it’s just that right now it’ll take six times as long to get anywhere. My door’s open for any chats r.e. any muses here or on the multi.

If you need my disco handle just ask/reply here or whatever and I can send it; if you need to get in touch for any reason and can’t seem to get through to me, just send a ping to the bestie Benevolentgodloki c:

If you read all this and are ok with sticking around know that you have my undying love lmao; I know it isn’t easy trying to build anything with someone who only posts once in a blue moon so your patience is appreciated and I’ll always appreciate having people to come back to on here <33

#ooc tag #this was meant to be a brief update and as usual why use 1 word when 12 will do

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canonicallyobserving911 · 6 months

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WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 14 is available on AO3 & Chapter 15 will be posted soon.

Currently 14 chapters completed: 417.3K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

I'm so excited to continue writing Chapter 15 and for anyone who hasn't read Chapter 14, here's a brief overview: Buck and Eddie sat together in Buck's oncologist's office waiting to hear the results of Buck's Cancer Screening, Buck had a setback that reminded Eddie about the day he found him unresponsive in his loft back in July, the Buckley parents showed up unannounced, Bobby knows Buck and Eddie are in a relationship but he hasn't said anything and Eddie had a panic attack after they left the scene of a call. Also, Eddie and Karen had a conversation about Eddie's paramedic certification course and Buck and Bobby spent Saturday together participating in a father and son activity.

___________

Here's some more "Diaz Day" romantic fluff between Buck and Eddie from Chapter 15.

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When they’re done eating, Buck collects the ‘To Go’ containers while Chris goes to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed.

After he washes his hands, Eddie meets him in the middle of the kitchen, he cups Buck’s cheeks with both of his hands then he leans in and ferociously kisses his boyfriend. The kiss is long, deep and slow but it’s filled with promises of forever. They both moan and gasp into it and the only reason they break it is because they have to come up for air.

With his pupils blown wide, Buck talks against his lips and says, “If I—I uh didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to distract me.”

“Is it working?”

He chuckles, “Yes... it is but you’re still going back to bed so you can rest while me and Chris go grocery shopping.”

Eddie pouts like he always does when he tries to get his boyfriend to give him what he wants but Buck shakes his head no, then states for the third time this morning, “You’re going back to bed my love but don’t worry because I’ll be sleeping right next to you tonight." Then he kisses Eddie’s bottom lip and tightens his arms around Eddie’s waist.

In an attempt to distract him because he doesn't want Buck to leave, Eddie says, “Ok... but I think I need one more kiss before you go”.

“Anything for you.” He replies as he leans in and breathlessly kisses his boyfriend.

After Eddie pulls back, he whispers, “I think I need another one… so I can go back to sleep.”

“I’ll give you all the kisses you want but uh… if we keep this up, me and Chris won’t ever leave.”

“That’s the idea.” Eddie replies with a devious smile.

“Ok, I give in… but only because it's "Diaz Day". I'm going to kiss you once more... then I’m taking you to your room so you can…” He doesn’t get to finish his statement because Eddie cuts him off with a dirty kiss.

When they separate from their embrace, Buck takes Eddie’s hand in his, he laces their fingers together then he leads him out of the kitchen and down the hallway to his bedroom. After Eddie gets back into bed, Buck leans down and places a soft kiss onto his lips. “Get some rest my love and we’ll be back in a couple of hours, ok?”

He nods then replies in a voice thick with the anticipation of sleep, “Ok” and he turns onto his side and drifts off to sleep.

Buck pulls the covers over Eddie's shoulders then he exits the bedroom and closes the door.

A few minutes later, Chris exits his own bedroom, dressed and ready to go. They leave the house at 9:38AM headed to the Super Target that’s located not too far away from the subdivision.

Will someone interrupt Eddie's "Diaz Day"? If so, who will it be? 👀

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it. But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago. They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial. But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories. Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie. It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-14 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 on abc #911 abc #911 fanfic #buddie fanfic #ao3 fanfic #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #Hiatus Reading #911 season 7 speculation #buddie wip #WIP Wednesday

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mlovesstories · 2 years

Text

Generations Part 2

Warnings: ADHD feels, angry Jared

Summary: YN struggles in school, but Uncle Jensen saves the day... or the evening.

Words: 1745

YN age 6

“Mr. Padalecki, your daughter has been such a gift to have in class,” YN’s teacher stated in the parent-teacher conference.

“I’m so glad to hear that, but I hear a ‘but’ coming.”

“She is a delight, I promise. I just wanted to let you know that she is very distracted a lot. She completes activities, but only preferred ones. I don’t think it’s malevolent. It’s not intentional from what I’ve observed. Have you noticed that at home, by chance? When she sits down to read or do homework, is she easily distracted or has a hard time completing it?”

“Sometimes, I guess, but she is six.” Jared tuned in to what the teacher was saying. “I’ll keep and eye, though. Other than that, how is she engaging with her peers?”

“YN is slow to warm up. I’m sure you’ve seen that in her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Once she meets a new friend or has been watching from the sidelines for a little bit, she is perfectly fine.”

“Yeah, that sounds like her. “ He grinned.

“I have no other concerns, Mr. Padalecki,” her teacher smiled.

YN age 9

“Honey, go read your book. You have to read twenty minutes a night.”

“I hate reading.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know it is hard for you.”

“Can’t I just listen to it? Or can you read it to me?”

“You have to learn how to read and understand on your own, YN. It’s called reading comprehension, and it’s a skill you will need for the rest of your life. If you read the first ten minutes, I’ll read the last ten. You can do this.” Jared booped her nose. She giggled in response.

“Okay,” she sighed.

Later that night after she went to bed, Jensen came over to watch TV with Jared.

“Hey, have you noticed YN has been off lately?” Jensen took a sip of beer.

“She’s been having a hard time getting stuff done like her homework or a chore. I think it’s only getting worse.”

“Yeah, I have seen that too. She also cries over stuff that isn't really a big deal, but to her it must be,” Jensen shrugged.

“I think she is struggling more than she lets on.”

“Maybe.” The shorter man shrugged.

A few years went by, Jared noticing his daughter struggling more and more.

Jared scrunched up his nose.

“Honey?” He yelled for his daughter over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you have an F in English?”

She stalled once she walked through the doorway, eyes widening.

“Come on, if you can earn an F in English, you can have the courage to tell me why.” He turned toward her and spun in the computer chair. Jared raised his brows expecting an answer sooner rather than later.

“I-” YN bit her lip, eyes watering.

“Why didn’t you say anything? It’s almost the end of the semester. You can’t undo it once it’s too late, sweetheart.” Jared sighed and crossed his arms. “Well?”

“I, I can’t write.” YN rang her hands together.

“Yes, you can,” he said almost as a question. “What do you mean you can’t write?”

“I can write, kind of. I can’t read stuff and then write about it after. My brain just doesn’t want me to.” YN knew he wouldn’t like that answer, but that was the best way she could explain it.

Jared took a deep breath with a look of displeasure on his face.

“What you are going to do is you are going to email your teacher this evening and let him know that you will be making as many of these up before the semester is over, and he will be receiving the assignments ASAP.”

“I can’t do it like that, Dad.” YN responded with a deep grunt and exacerbation.

“Well, you better figure it out, because you only have a few weeks of school left before summer hits, and if they retain you, that’s on you.”

YN was so overwhelmed in what had transpired that she didn’t use a defense, she hung her head and said, “Okay, Dad.”

“Thank you. Now turn off the TV that I hear playing and get to work. Use this computer since I have all of your assignments open right here.”

Over the next few days, YN cried. A lot. She was able to turn in an assignment or two, but the whole process was overwhelming.

“I’m leaving to meet Gen. She is grounded and on homework duty until further notice.” Jared said over his shoulder to Jensen.

“Has she met Gen yet?” Jensen whispered.

“No, I’m not introducing them until we’re steady. I can’t break YN’s heart in case something doesn’t work out. YN has met Gen since she is in the cast, but she doesn’t know we are dating. Gotta go, I’ll be back later.”

“Hey, YNN.” Jensen knocked at YN’s door. He slowly opened it. “I am getting dinner ready. You hungry?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Jen.” She kept her eyes on her paper, writing answers for her assignment.

“Okie dokie, I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Jensen ducked out of her room and shut the door.

After he had cooked some chicken and vegetables, he yelled up the stairs for YN to come down for dinner.

“NOT HUNGRY!” He heard her say faintly.

Jensen hurried up the steps knowing something was wrong.

“YN, I know you’re hungry. You told me you were twenty minutes ago. Come down for dinner please,” he said plainly.

“No.”

He tried to turn the knob on her door, but it wouldn’t budge.

“I WILL kick this door down if you don’t tell me what’s going on. AND- you will have to explain to your father why your door is now broken.” He heard what sounded like her tossing her cookies. “YN!” He rattled the knob again. “Open the door in the next ten seconds or I swear-”

Jensen heard the lock click.

As she opened the door, he saw her lips covered in what looked like snot and tears were running down her face.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he consoled. Jensen ran into the bathroom across the hall to grab toilet paper. He came back to crouch in front of her and slowly touched the toilet paper to her lips, wiping away the substance. YN tried to turn away from him, but he continued to wipe her face. “Come here,” her uncle pulled her into him, her body still. After he held her there, she leaned into him with almost her whole body. Tiny as she was, Jensen braced himself to hold her weight.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Uncle Jensen.” She repeated the phrase over and over.

“What are you apologizing for? Did you eat something bad? Do you know why you threw up?”

“I’m stressed,” she said after a moment. Thinking he would have to coax it out of her, he started to ask her more questions when she continued, “My dad got mad because I am not passing English. If I don’t pass, he said I could be retained and have to do fifth grade again.”

Jensen guided her to her bed where he sat her down. He sat across from her in her computer chair. Caging her in with his long legs, he took her small hands in his.

“You’ve been struggling for a long time, haven’t you?”

She could only nod, words not coming to her in her rush of emotion.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

She took deep breaths. Jensen didn’t rush her to answer.

“I didn’t know how.” She shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t want to do it. I want to, Jensen. My brain tells me I can’t. Or I get distracted. But when I told my dad that, he basically said it was stupid and-” she sniffled, “and now I have to finish all these assignments. I don’t even know where to start, Uncle Jensen!” YN backed away and threw her hands up in the air. “I can’t focus, I can’t think straight. I walk back and forth in here because I’m thinking too much.”

“I’m so thankful you shared that with me. It’s hard to describe those types of feelings. Even for an adult.” He watched her pace the room from his seated position. “You’re so brave, sweetheart,” he stroked her cheek after she stopped and made eye contact with him again. “I think I might know what’s going on. Let me talk to your dad, okay?”

“He will just get mad.”

“How about you and I tell him together? I’ll be there to shut him down if he gets mad.” She tilted her head, thinking about it.

“Fine. But I don’t want to.”

“It’s either that or you keep throwing up because you’re overwhelmed, kiddo. You know how I told you I have ADD, and it was really hard for me in school?” YN nodded. “I couldn’t pass English to save my life. I turned out okay though.” He smiled, and she smiled back. “We will do this together. You are in fifth grade and a baby in this world, whether you want to believe it or not. Good for you for standing up for yourself even though you didn’t think you had the right words. It’s only one grade that will not affect anything major, I promise. I bet you they will pass you onto sixth without batting an eye either.” Jensen hugged her again. “I say we eat, you sit down with me and make a plan for the evening as far as homework goes, and then we sneak off to my house for a movie night. How does that sound? We can talk to your dad tomorrow once you’re feeling better.”

“My dad-”

“I will deal with your dad. Don’t worry about him. The real question is whether you want to or not.”

“Okay. That sounds fun, Jensen.”

Text Conversation:

JENSEN

I’m taking YN back to my house for the night.

JARED

She needs to study. I told you that.

JENSEN

Relax, lurch. She’s been working all evening like you asked. Let her have some fun.

JARED

You and I are going to have a fucking talk in the morning.

JENSEN

Whatever, man. Go eat. You’ll feel better. Hehehehe.

“Okay, let’s go!” Jensen called over his shoulder to his niece. “Before your dad makes it home and punches me!” He laughed.

Forevers:

@katymacsupernatural @unicornblood4ever

@fangirl-moment-x @empirialwolf @winchesters-favorite-girl

@super100012 @percywinchester27 @waywardsuns @supernatural-jackles

@mcallmestiles @sdavid09 @kingandrear @bellero @skylarraker

@seality @jaycc7983 @luci-in-trenchcoats

@cherryblossomflowers @because-you-never-know-when

@sleepylunarwolf @choosemyname

@internationalmusicteacher @mersuperwholocked-lowlife

@encounterthepast @torn-and-frayed

@giggles1026 @xiumin-girl99

@mangueweaschester

@idksupernatural @silverstripe101a

@thevelvetseries @samsgirl93 @supernatural3002 *

* @breereadsthings *

@vicmc624 @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @beatifuldisaster018

@miraclesoflove @myopiamystical

@waywardnewcomer

@akshi8278 @metalfangirl @squirrelnotsam

#supernatural #supernaturalrpf #Jared Padalecki #jared x daughter!reader #jared padalecki x daughter #Jensen Ackles #jensen x niece!reader #jensen ackles x niece #jensen ackles x niece!reader #mlovesstories #mlovesstoriesgenerations #mlovesstoriesgenerationspart2

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mute-call · 3 months

Text

Valentine's Day Application

{SUBMITTED BY : @red-hemlock || LINK }

Your name: Riversong, but please, call me River.

Romantic or platonic?: Hmm…

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: I love to move, but I get the funny feeling that you’re a bit of an ‘inside guy’. Nothing wrong with doing something nice and easy, once in a while.

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Oh the latter, always. They can be so very fun to feed other people.

What’s your perfect date?: Let’s ‘expand’ a little, on the activity question from above. Picture this, darling: Curtains closed, lights dimmed low. Just me and you in the center of the room, dancing slow to a tune on the radio.

Would you cook for me?: Erm-… I’d remember to put the pizza in the oven, after you turn it on?

Would you let me cook for you?: Oh yes, I’d NEVER turn down free food, darling!

Can we make-out?: Hmmm…

Make out in private or in public?: Probably private, for the public’s sake. I do love a good ‘show’, but I can’t promise we wouldn’t get arrested. Public indecency laws, and everything.

Do you like to cuddle?: Does the Pope have a silly hat, darling?

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: Blankets, please. The warmer the comfier, after all!

Couch or bed?: Both have their little positives, but-… Whichever one’s the most 'sturdy’, really. Take that info as you will. >;3c

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: Nothing too fancy, really. Flower-crown making, whittling, though I’m afraid I’m no Da Vinci still when it comes to that yet; and extreme gardening! 'Extreme’, as in all of the pretty little plants that I grow could very well kill you if you’re not paying the right amount of attention, haha.

Tell me something about you no else knows: Hah! Going for the real meat and potatoes now, are we? Ohhh alright, I’ll indulge since it’s you, dear. Now don’t go around telling everyone and their mother this, but I LOVE a good romance flick; and sometimes, well, most times I tend to get more than a bit emotional when I watch said flicks.

Why do you want to be my valentine?: At first I just wanted to apologize for before. I really was kind-of a jerk to you, not to mention the whole… Dumpster-thing… But you’ve got more guts to you than I think you realize, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you at your side. If you’ll let me, of course.

What makes you a good Valentine?: Oh plenty, dear! I’m funny, I can fold people into pretzels if they’re bothering you, I’m good with my hands… But all jokes aside, I’m loyal to a fault, and I’ll always come running to pull you from the fire should you call. I might not be the most 'morally sound’ sometimes, but who cares about silly things like that, anyway! R-Right?

Oh, those are the good kind of “hmm”s. Much to,,, think about!!!

How is it that River just gets more and more attractive impressive with every passing day? Those hobbies of hers? Steven could listen to her talk about those for hours. She has this effortless charm, this balance of deadly allure and feminine grace and lovable playfulness and–

Okay, Steven. Calm down. He can still give an enthusiastic “yes” without making a fool of himself. But, really, can anyone blame him for getting a little worked up? River’s perfect. And she’s left plenty of room for his mind to wander–

#I LOVE YOU R.IVERRRR #;prerecorded messages {queue}#;valentines !#;i need you more than want you / and i want you for all time {&& river}#;alt icons #tw suggestive

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chemicalpink · 1 year

Text

Hello. So you might have noticed how I have been quite inactive for some time. And if you’ve been here for a while you know I tend to disappear and then come back with endless apologies and an unattainable promise to try and be more active.

Truth is, I started writing while I was in a not so pretty time of my life, things haven’t changed much and I love writing as an output however it doesn’t get me going the way it once used to be. I started making spiritual content as well and I absolutely adore it and all the people it has allowed me to get to know, and I’ll continue to do just that.

Changes are inevitable. Amongst all the things I’ve been known for posting on here is never turn down a civilised argument, I was once faced with someone that had a great point by saying that I’m not as open as I appear to be.

And it’s true, I don’t owe people an entrance to the very depths of my person, at that time I didn’t really know how to tackle it, as a creator it has always felt like a part of me needed to always be readily available online, I know now that it isn’t the case.

A few people on here know, if you know anything about my work you might understand. I’m as privileged as I am someone that has continuous setbacks. Said privileges have allowed me to explore a love for life I had thought to be long gone, and I’ve allowed me the benefit of alienating myself from social media because of it, it goes the same way for the setbacks I’ve faced.

I’m healing, more mentally and spiritually than physically, but I’m doing okay- that, you should know. This is me setting a boundary with myself, because I can’t keep on walking the extra mile to try and get my thesis done, get work done and be online while trying to stay healthy.

And it’s okay, I know the algorithm and the way the internet works is unforgiving and I will probably lose quite a bit from it, but hopefully I’ll gain more important things thanks to this. I’m still writing and I’ll still post (at least that’s the general plan) you’ll still find me in my other blogs and on here for spiritual content. If necessary, ko-fi commissions are still a priority.

I’ll just try and take my time to be here without having to feel guilty about being absent. This is and will continue to be a small corner in the whole wide internet that remains a safe place for all. So if you’ll have me, I would love to see you here if and when I post, all my past years creations are here for you to enjoy, however if my slow paced processes aren’t your thing, I shall thank you for the time you’ve spent on my page and gladly send you on your way to find whatever need you want satisfied.

Only us ourselves are responsible for our online experiences, and this is the one I’m choosing. I’m sending you all much love. I hope to see you sometime sooner or later.

#marinette.txt #important #community announcement 📣

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fangirlwriting-stories · 1 year

Text

Protector

Chapter One

Chapter Thirteen:

Virgil didn’t tell Remus about the danger of the others coming over there. The last thing he needed was more opportunities for Remus to worry, and about things that might not even happen. He needed Remus to think the only issue was getting him over there. They’d deal with the rest if they had to, once Remus was safe.

Other than that, however, things were actually starting to look vaguely promising.

Virgil didn’t want to jinx it by doing something insane like hoping, but it was true. Janus had started being relatively friendly towards him, and Patton and Logan were as friendly as they had ever been, and it was resulting in living here feeling almost nice, if not for the elephant of Remus not being in the room. Well, and the fact that Roman still seemed to despise him.

But other than that, and when Roman wasn’t around, Virgil found himself rather enjoying being there. The core sides weren’t as awful as he thought, and spending time with Thomas was a definite plus, and he didn’t have to fear for his life all the time.

That didn’t mean he stopped feeling scared for Remus’ life all the time, or working towards getting him over here, of course. He’d feel worse than if he was in danger if he did.

He did feel a little stuck, though. He seemed to be developing a somewhat better relationship with Janus, but it wasn’t exactly easy to get Deceit to open up to you, and he wasn’t sure what else to try. If he asked Janus to bring Remus over here now, he’d say no, and who knew how much progress Virgil would lose as a result. He just didn’t know how to make the first shift from “not actively trying to antagonize you” to “tentative one-sided friendship that Virgil could pretend to care about.”

He was unsure enough that he kind of wanted to leave it for the time being, but the issue there was that every day that passed made him more worried for Remus. So he really had to do something.

He’d considered before just talking to him without bringing up serious stuff at all, though it sounded infuriatingly slow. He was tired of asking Remus to be so patient when it was so hard for him. But he couldn’t really think of another option. So, that night, he followed through on something he’d mentioned to Remus.

“Hey Janus,” he said, sitting down on his usual chair in the living room. “What’s your favorite breakfast?”

Janus glanced up from the couch in confusion. “What? Why?”

“I want to make it for you. I’m trying to learn how to cook other things from Patton, I want to learn everyone’s favorite meals.”

Partially true, actually. He wanted to have a large number of meals under his belt to be able to cook for Remus, when he got over here. He needed to be able to cook things for the side if the others didn’t like him enough to do so. He also looked forward to the idea of helping Remus find a favorite meal, since it had probably changed from when he was little and it had been “dinosaur chicken nuggets that ketchup can make look bloody.”

Janus seemed a little surprised at his offer, though he didn’t seem suspicious like he would have a week ago.

“I like oatmeal fritters,” he said finally. “Patton makes them for my birthday. I’ll warn you, they’re not exactly the easiest to make as a beginner.”

“That’s okay,” Virgil said. “I’ll have Patton’s help.”

That was the end of the conversation with Janus, but Virgil brought up oatmeal fritters to Patton that night, who smiled and agreed that it sounded like a great idea. He also shared that pancakes were his favorite meal, and that he especially liked pancakes with chocolate chips. Fortunately, Virgil already knew how to make pancakes, so he penciled in a time at the end of the week to wake up early and make Patton’s favorite meal.

Because it would be super helpful with his goal, obviously.

So the next morning he and Patton got up early, and Patton showed him how to make oatmeal fritters. He’d definitely have to make them a couple more times before he had it down, but Janus really seemed to enjoy them, so that was something.

Maybe that was another way to win Janus over, come to think of it. If having conversations wasn’t working, he could try doing nice stuff for him. It was still infuriatingly small, but at least he wasn’t sitting around on his hands while working to come up with a better solution. So, what were some things that would make Janus’ life easier?

Virgil didn’t know what he did for most of the day, since he spent much of the time in his room, but he did know one thing he wanted— to help Thomas. Well, he also wanted to keep the others out, but Virgil could only support the part of that plan that didn’t include Remus.

He was already apparently helping Thomas by not being as aggressive and spending time with him, but that was just his job. Maybe there was a way he could help that could take some things off Janus’ plate.

“Hey, Thomas, what are you up to?” Virgil asked, sitting down next to Thomas on the couch.

“Planning,” Thomas said, glancing over at him from where he was typing on his computer. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, I think this video’s going to focus more heavily on you, and Logan. I want to do a video about negative thinking, and how listening to you more has helped with recognizing which parts of anxiety are positive and which are negative. I think Logan can provide some logical ways to sort them out.” Thomas turned to look at him. “I wouldn’t be placing you as the villain, though. You know that, right? It’s not a debate, it’s a discussion.”

“I know, Thomas,” Virgil said with a nod. “I can overreact sometimes, it’s okay. A video talking about that sounds like a good idea.” He couldn’t exactly help his knee jerk response to, well, most things. Logan said heightened anxiety could be a result of going through traumatic experiences, and try as he might, he couldn’t prevent Thomas from dealing with all of those affects. Making a video about how to work through at least part of that kind of thing sounded like it could be beneficial. He’d have to pay attention to Logan’s research the next couple weeks.

“That wasn’t really what I meant, though,” Virgil said, drawing the conversation back to what he’d come in here to say. “You’ve been working on that since breakfast.”

“Oh, I mean, I guess,” Thomas said.

“You want to take a break?” Virgil asked, trying to beat back the voice in his head screaming about how he would never start again if he stopped now.

Thomas gave him a look. “I’m surprised you’re suggesting that kind of thing.”

Virgil shrugged. “Janus said he’d be busy today. I’m filling in.”

Thomas snorted. “You think that’s gonna go well?”

Virgil couldn’t help a slight smile. “That remains to be seen.”

“Alright,” Thomas said, leaning back and setting the computer aside on the couch. “What do you want to do instead?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I didn’t think that far ahead. What’s something Janus would tell you to do? Would he tell you to take a long bubble bath?”

Thomas burst out laughing. “Yes, actually,” he said with a grin at Virgil. “He suggests that quite often. I take his advice about half the time.”

“Well, I mean, you can’t just spend all of your time in a bubble bath, you’d turn all pruny,” Virgil said, smiling back. “Not exactly good for romantic prospects.”

“You make a very strong argument,” Thomas said. “You think we could get Roman to argue against Janus on that point?”

“It might be about the only thing they disagree on,” Virgil said, and Thomas laughed again.

Virgil didn’t really think it was a great idea to keep making fun of Janus and Roman, though, so he was glad when Thomas seemed done as he leaned back against the couch again.

“How does The Office sound?”

“Sounds good to me,” Virgil said, leaning back next to him.

He wasn’t lying, actually. He’d grown to enjoy Thomas’ favorite shows more since he watched them himself. He wasn’t exactly surprised that a lot of his interests aligned with something Thomas enjoyed too, but he hadn’t really ever had a chance to relax enough to enjoy watching them himself. He was too busy running or hiding or saving Remus’ ass or getting his ass saved by Remus. Plus, the TV was in the commons. Feeling safe enough to sit down through a full movie or TV show wasn’t something that had happened since Janus had been there to do it with them. He only knew about the stuff Thomas enjoyed for the same reason he knew stuff about Thomas’ life— just because he did.

Watching something yourself, however, was a totally different experience from knowing about something because your center enjoyed it. There was a reason Virgil was beginning to fall so completely in love with the new Disney movies they were watching, when he’d only ever really liked the ones he’d seen with Janus and Remus before. And Thomas had been too young then to watch things like The Office or Parks and Recreation, so this was a first time viewing experience for him, and it was really nice.

Virgil hadn’t expected his time with Thomas would become so important to him, but it really had. It was the times he felt calmest, barring the times he was with Remus. If Remus had been there, Virgil wouldn’t be surprised if he had a tendency to fall asleep. Well, with one eye open to make sure the two people he loved most in the world were safe, but still.

Janus must not have been expecting Virgil to cover his duties for him today (and Virgil couldn’t exactly blame him for that), because he showed up as they were finishing an episode looking a little disheveled.

Well, not in a way anyone else would notice, but Virgil could tell.

“Apologies, Thomas,” Janus said, straightening his cloak as imperceptibly as possible. “I’m running a little behind today, but I did want to make sure you took a break— oh, good.”

“You’re good bud,” Thomas said with a smile. “Anxiety showed up to remind me.”

Janus blinked. “Anxiety did?” He gave Virgil a look.

Virgil shrugged. “You said you were busy,” he said. “I figured I could help out a bit, since I don’t have much to do today.”

“Oh,” Janus said, looking surprised, but at least not upset. “I… suppose I appreciate it, Anxiety.”

Virgil waved it off and settled back into the couch again. “If you’re tired, come sit,” he said.

Janus seemed to consider the idea for a second, and Virgil could read the moment he decided to do just that.

“Me? Relaxing instead of going back to all the work I have to do? Why Anxiety, I’m astounded you think I’d ever want to do something like that,” Janus said, moving to sit down on the other side of Thomas.

Thomas chuckled and patted Janus on the shoulder, and then clicked the button on the remote to start the next episode.

They all stayed there for a while after that, and Virgil surprisingly didn’t find his time worsened by Janus being there too. Maybe because he didn’t say anything.

They stayed there for another couple hours to watch episodes, though Virgil saw Janus absentmindedly writing in something at some point, so he was probably still doing some of that work he said he had. They probably would have stayed in there long past dinner, if not for Roman showing up at the end of a season.

“Janus, there you are,” he said, crossing his arms. “You’re—” He froze when he spotted Thomas, and glared slightly when he spotted Virgil.

“Roman?” Thomas asked, when he’d been quiet for a long moment. “Are you okay?”

Roman startled and looked over at Thomas. Virgil could see the gears turning in his head as he was trying to work out what was happening.

“It’s dinnertime,” he said finally. “Patton’s looking for you.” He turned a disdainful look at Virgil, but for some reason it almost seemed a little curious too.

“Both of you,” he said.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Thomas said. “I didn’t mean to keep you two.”

“Nonsense, Thomas, you’re our center,” Janus said. “If you want us to stay, you come first.”

“And it’s not at all because you were enjoying taking a break,” Virgil said with a smirk.

“Of course not,” Janus said, smoothing out his cloak as he stood up. “Wholly unrelated.”

“Naturally,” Virgil said with a grin.

“Hey, don’t— don’t you accuse Janus of lying,” Roman snapped, crossing his arms.

“Roman, that’s not what he was doing,” Thomas said, as Virgil saw Janus go still out of the corner of his eye.

Roman huffed and didn’t say anything else, but he still didn’t look satisfied with the situation. Virgil snuck a glance at Janus to find him also looking rather uncomfortable, though he was hiding it much better.

Well. Shit.

“We’ll be at dinner in just a second,” Virgil said to Roman, who glared at him one last time before sinking out.

“Do you need us for anything else?” Virgil asked. “Or we could pick this up tomorrow if you’d like?”

“I’d like that very much,” Thomas said, smiling at Virgil, though it understandably looked a little strained. “I’ll see you then.”

��See you then, Thomas,” Virgil said, and Janus nodded at him in silence before both of them sank out to join Roman at dinner.

Virgil tried hard not to look at Janus throughout, but he was obviously still tense, and Virgil couldn’t blame him, not with the picture he was starting to put together.

He followed Janus up to his room after dinner ended, which Janus seemed to have expected, though not like.

“Hey,” Virgil said as they both walked into his room. “Can I talk to you?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t,” Janus said coolly.

Virgil winced. “Okay,” he said, moving to back away. Before he could make it very far, though, Janus sighed.

“Oh, come in, Virgil,” he said, moving over towards his desk and waving Virgil in.

Virgil stepped hesitantly into the room. He shut the door himself this time, but it didn’t make him feel any more comfortable. At least he was closer to the door than Janus was.

Virgil shifted back and forth on his feet, trying to decide how best to start the conversation they both had to know he was here for.

Eventually, he just looked over towards Janus and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Why would I not be okay?” Janus said, too quickly. “I can’t fathom what you’re referring to Virgil.”

Virgil bit his lip and didn’t say anything.

After a long silence, Janus sighed.

“Honestly, Virgil, I’m fine. It’s nothing new.”

“Which part isn’t new? Because you seemed kind of uncomfortable—”

“I am fine, Virgil. Leave it be.”

“Does Roman do that kind of thing a lot? Is that why you haven’t told anyone you’re Deceit?”

Janus looked at Virgil in disbelief. “Thomas does that kind of thing a lot, Virgil. Have you not paid attention to how little our center approves of lying?”

Right, paying attention to all of Thomas’ moral stances on various subjects, which wasn’t part of his job in any way whatsoever. That was something Virgil had time for.

Virgil looked at Janus for another long moment. He would never be stupid enough to say it out loud, but all of that was kind of Janus’ fault. He was more or less responsible for Thomas’ opinions of the others. Thomas trusted him, after all. He never exactly did himself any favors by describing all of the others like they were incredibly dangerous. It’s not like Virgil disagreed with him completely in that regard, but Janus really shouldn’t be that surprised by the fact that Thomas would likely react badly to learning Janus used to be one of them.

Or… would he? Because that was the other side of this now, wasn’t it. Thomas had always known Virgil was one of the others, and they were more or less on good terms now. Why would that be different with Janus? Sure, maybe Thomas didn’t love lying, but… Thomas loved him.

“You don’t think…” Virgil said hesitantly, “You don’t think you might have won them over after what, fifteen years? At least?”

Janus scowled. “I’m not a risk taker, Virgil,” he said shortly.

“What’s risky about it? You’re their family.”

Janus glared away, and Virgil’s eyes widened slightly.

“Hey,” he said. “You are.”

“I know that,” Janus hissed.

“Really, because it kind of seems like—”

Janus waved his hand and Virgil smacked his own hand over his mouth. “This conversation is over,” Janus said coldly. “Get out.”

Before Virgil could even attempt to try and argue that without being able to speak, Janus waved his hand again, and Virgil reappeared outside his door.

Well. It would appear this was a problem now.

...

Chapter Fourteen

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #character thomas sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #platonic thvi #platonic anxceit #platonic moxiety #my fic

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