STARBUCKS LOAF
Iced Lemon Loaf
STARBUCKS LOAF Citrusy, buttery, moist lemon pound cake topped with a sweet icing. -VEGETARIAN
INGREDIENTS
ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR [WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID], SUGAR, EGGS, BUTTER [CREAM (MILK), NATURAL FLAVOR], POWDERED SUGAR [SUGAR, CORNSTARCH], BUTTERMILK [CULTURED LOWFAT MILK, NONFAT MILK, MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, SODIUM CITRATE, LOCUST BEAN GUM, CARRAGEENAN, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, SALT, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, VITAMIN D3], LEMON JUICE, LEMON ZEST [LEMON PEEL, SUGAR, LEMON OIL], SOYBEAN OIL, WATER, PALM OIL SHORTENING, CORN SYRUP, SEA SALT, NATURAL FLAVOR, BAKING POWDER [SODIUM ACID PYROPHOSPHATE, BAKING SODA, CORNSTARCH, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE], BAKING SODA, GUAR GUM, XANTHAN GUM, BETA CAROTENE [COLOR], ENZYME, SOY LECHITIN.
Gingerbread Loaf
This take on the classic gingerbread loaf is a deliciously baked vegetarian treat full of hearty ginger-spice flavors—just like a newfound holiday friend. -VEGETARIAN
Ingredients
ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR [WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID], APPLE SAUCE [APPLES, WATER, ASCORBIC ACID ADDED FOR COLOR RETENTION], SUGAR, EGGS, BROWN SUGAR, BUTTER [CREAM, NATURAL FLAVOR], ICING SUGAR [SUGAR, CORNSTARCH], WATER, BUTTERMILK [NONFAT MILK, DRY BUTTERMILK, BACTERIAL CULTURE], BLACKSTRAP MOLASSES, SPICES, PALM OIL SHORTENING, BAKING POWDER [BAKING SODA, SODIUM ACID PYROPHOSPHATE, CORNSTARCH, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE], NATURAL FLAVOR, SALT, CORN SYRUP, FOOD STARCH-MODIFIED, GUAR GUM, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, SOY LECITHIN.
Pumpkin & Pepita Loaf
Gently spiced pumpkin bread topped with crunchy pepitas. – VEGETARIAN
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Taco Thanksgiving Shopping (entertainment purposes only)
Count Vanilla Manilla, Lindsay, and I were at Publix shopping for the essentials of a Thanksgiving meal with tacos because that's what King Chocolate-Covered Gummy Bear said his sister loved to eat. We also had to take into account that there were vegans at the reception, which is the original reason we were sent to the store.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel flew smack dab into us. We told him about our great bullshit adventures of this year, and he mentioned that he and his wife, Coraline were doing well and that they were in a spiritual war.
Count Vanilla Manilla was rattling off ingredients from his long list after things were, in his opinion, getting too political: corn tortillas, black beans, pinto beans, great white beans, brown rice, white rice, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, jalapenos, onions, cilantro, serrano peppers, Annie's vegan macaroni and cheese, Daiya cheddar cheeze shreds, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, orange bell pepper, green bell pepper, limes, ground pepper, green tomatillos, red tomatillos, Tabasco, Tofurkey, potatoes, green beans, vegan flan, and whole golden kernel corn.
"Are we getting more margarine?" Lindsay asked.
"Oh yes, I forgot," Count Vanilla Manilla said.
"But we are not getting Blue Bonnet," I clarified.
"No, but are we getting Smart Balance with olive oil?" Colonel Mac asked.
"No," Lindsay said.
"Really? That's the kind I usually get for Mr. Williamson and his wife," I said.
Lindsay then stared at me as we were picking up all necessary items from produce: spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, serrano peppers, potatoes, jalapenos, onions, cilantro, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, orange bell pepper, green bell pepper, limes, green tomatillos, green beans, and red tomatillos. She said, "I heard Smart Balance wasn't very balanced at all."
"Everyone's been saying that lately," I said.
Lindsay sighed. "Let's go to the margarine aisle. All of life's questions will be answered there," she said.
So we travelled clear on the other side of the store to the margarine aisle.
She pulled out the Smart Balance Margarine with olive oil from the refrigerator and read the ingredients. "Vegetable Oil Blend (Canola, Palm, Extra Virgin Olive, And Flaxseed Oils), Water, Less Than 2 Percent Of: Salt, Pea Protein, Natural And Artificial Flavors, Sunflower Lecithin, Vitamin A Palmitate, Beta Carotene (Color), Vitamin D, Monoglycerides Of Vegetable Fatty Acids (Emulsifier), And Potassium Sorbate, Lactic Acid, TBHQ and Calcium Disodium EDTA (to Protect Freshness)."
"Oh yeah, that stuff is evil!" I said.
"Precisely," Lindsay said.
Count Vanilla Manilla looked up what TBHQ was on his smartphone. "Tert-Butylhydroquinone (TBHQ, tertiary butylhydroquinone) is a synthetic aromatic organic compound which is a type of phenol. It is a derivative of hydroquinone, substituted with a tert-butyl group," he read.
"It's an oil we have no business eating it in the first place," I said.
"Exactly!" Lindsay shouted.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel said, "Wow. What the fuck? Thank Goodness I don't get that. But I must check my butter at home to ensure that there is no TBHQ in it again. I shall return." He then flew out of the store.
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Crickets with Angel wings chirped as they flew through Publix. When we walked by the free sample booth, a FreeLee the Banana Girl video popped up on the screen.
https://youtu.be/ZRuytGHlpNc
Too long didn't watch (or maybe you did): It is about what she eats on a high-carb fruitarian diet... with a bunch of sugar.
Lindsay rolled her eyes and moved on with her life.
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Makolai the Great Arc Angel then screamed as he flew to the margarine aisle.
Everyone in the store looked at Makolai the Great Arc Angel and gave him their undivided attention.
"Fucking hell! Smart Balance invaded my refrigerator! So what if it is on sale?! It is poisoning humankind! I must burn it! NICOLE! Open the glass door with the Smart Balance margarine in it!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted.
I opened the glass door with the Smart Balance margarine in it.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel shot blue death rays out of his eyes and burned all products related to Smart Balance margarine and screamed.
Lindsay screamed. Everyone in the store screamed. The cast of PeeWee Herman also screamed. Apparently, they needed to go grocery shopping, too.
"But remember. Save the Earth Balance margarine that's soy free. It's legit," Lindsay said in a normal voice. She then grabbed the Earth Balance Soy Free margarine and put it in the cart.
The Grinch then hobbled over and screamed. "Smart Balance is a balance of over-price and chemical deathhhhhh," he said. Then he hobbled away.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel then announced, "If we were not making vegan Taco Mac with Count Vanilla Extract..."
Lindsay, Count Vanilla Extract, The Grinch, Sir Paul the Goat, Smeagull, the cast of PeeWee Herman, and everyone in the store screamed. "Taco Mac with Count Vanilla" was still the phrase of the last three years.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel then continued, "Then I would prefer butter or a buttery spread."
"Agreed!" Count Vanilla Extract, Lindsay, other non-vegans, and I said with authority.
"Wait? I'm Vanilla Extract now?" Count Vanilla Extract asked as he raised his eyebrow.
"Not that I use much butter, but I know better than to use margarine on my own account. It is evil," Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted. "And yes. I dub thee Extract. It's Thanksgiving, a holiday of using vanilla extract. Manilla is not sufficient for your caliber."
Sir Paul the Goat bleated loudly. "But it rhymed!" he shouted.
"In that case, am I granted the powers of baker?" Count Vanilla Extract asked as he walked around Publix with Makolai the Great Arc Angel.
"Absolutely!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with a salesangel smile as he pointed his two index fingers at Count Vanilla Extract dramatically. "And a baker's cap and apron to boot!"
"Oh boy! Grant me baking powers!" Count Vanilla Extract spoke with excitement.
"As you wish," Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with a huge smile before he chanted in a dark angelic language.
All shoppers were watching with awe.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel continued to chant as Publix was getting darker.
Count Vanilla Extract was smiling widely, and his teeth were getting whiter. He growled with excitement.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel continued to chant before he sang and danced to Lazy Town's song, "Cooking by the Book." https://youtu.be/ZD71JeX4Vk0?feature=shared
He was definitely one of the citizens of Lazy Town before he moved here.
OH SHIT!
Makolai the Great Arc Angel stopped everything after he sang "Caaaaaaaaaake" for just a liiiittle too long.
Count Vanilla Extract turned into a gray cub who wore the same outfit as the Pitsbury Doughboy.
Everyone gasped.
Makolai the Great Arc Angel looked over and gasped in horror. "OH SHIT!!!! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I held that note for just a liiiiiittle too long. Oh God I gotta reverse this!" he spoke quickly and frantically.
Count Vanilla Extract looked down at his strong paws and grinned widely. "COOL!!!" he said in a higher-pitched Southern accent.
"You're okay with this?" Makolai the Great Arc Angel said with his eyebrow raised.
"YEAH!" Count Vanilla Extract said as he jumped out of his chair. "I can bake! I can bake! Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart!" he started to skip. "And I'm wearing an apron, motherfuckers!" He skipped around the store and growled cheerfully. His white apron swished.
"Awwwww!!!!" everyone in the store said.
"Vanilla Mac is so cute," I said.
He turned around, skipped over to me, and looked up to me. "I like that name more than Count Vanilla Extract. I am a baker, not a count. I was a vampire Cub, so I had to be a Count," he spoke with a cute cub growl.
"YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted. "Keep going."
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," Vanilla Mac said.
Everyone said, "Awwwwwwww."
"You are welcome!" Makolai the Great Arc Angel shouted.
The cast of PeeWee Herman, FreeLee the Banana Girl, the Grinch, Seagull, and Paul the Goat screamed.
"And I am Chef Makolai!" the angel said before thunder, lightning, and light came upon him. He transformed into a chef. His wings were as white as Vanilla Ice. He now wore a big white chef's hat, sea green tie with a cupcake on it, a bright white dress shirt, bright white slacks, white shoes, and a long sea green apron. His skin was as white as snow, and he had a fiery red beard. "Happy Thanksgiving, Mother Fuckers!"
"Happy Thanksgiving, Chef Makolai," Vanilla Mac said.
"Thank you. Also, I dub thee Chef Vanilla Mac," Chef Makolai said with a booming voice.
"OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!" Chef Vanilla Mac shouted. "I am only seven after all."
"I have spoken!" Chef Makolai said.
"King Bruce Ice has a story with a title of him speaking," Chef Vanilla Mac said.
"I read that months ago!" Chef Makolai said with excitement.
"That meeting was bonkers. But we really do need to finish this shopping. I don't want him speaking about our tardiness," Lindsay said.
"No thank you. I don't want THAT AS A STORY!" Chef Makolai said.
Lindsay, Chef Makolai, Chef Vanilla Mac, and I continued to shop. We picked up Annie's vegan macaroni and cheese, canned pinto beans, canned black beans, canned great white canned beans, corn tortillas, bags of brown rice, bags of white rice, vegan flan, Tobasco, Tofurkey, and Daiya cheddar cheeze shreds.
Lindsay then looked around the canned vegetable aisle to look for the canned whole golden kernel corn.
I looked frantically for the golden whole kernel corn while Lindsay and Chef Vanilla Mac were absent-mindedly putting the other groceries in the cart.
“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CORN?” I screamed loudly to the point where the whole store could hear. The ground shook.
Chef Vanilla Mac dropped the list because he was shocked at the random loud volume of my voice. “Chef Vanilla Mac, find the fucking corn now! What the hell?! Where the hell’s my corn, Chef Vanilla Mac?!”
“I don’t know! I'm trying. Stop yelling at me!” Chef Vanilla Mac said as he was crying and slumping his shoulders.
He was slightly shocked when a woman named Karen joined in with her voice. “Yeah, where the fuck is ze corn? You’d think canned corn would be easy to find in a fuckin’ grocery store,” she yelled.
A store associate rushed to the scene in a panic. “What kind of corn are you looking for, ma’am?” she asked.
Another woman sales associate chimed in, “We’d love to help.”
“Golden kernel,” I said.
Everyone in the store was looking for the corn she mentioned. Even Chef Vanilla Mac and Lindsay were in on looking for it. Lindsay lifted Chef Vanilla Mac in her arms as they looked for the corn.
“No, no, not here, dammit,” a fat Karen said. “Son ov a bitch!”
“Not here,” Chef Vanilla Mac said.
“Is this it, ma’am?” one of the customers asked me as she presented me with a can of God-forsaken creamed corn.
Chef Vanilla Mac randomly farted. It smelled like too much tacos.
“No! I said ‘Golden kernel,’ you stupid mother fucker!” I yelled as I got in her dopey-looking face. “I already told you. ‘Golden kernel’ ‘Golden kernel’ Goddammit!”
“Sorry, ma’am, Lord, please help us find this ‘Golden kernel’ corn,” she said.
The fat Karen interrupted, “SHIT WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKASS WOMAN'S CORN?”
“All of a sudden my corn is gone. It has been on this particular aisle for like three fucking years. Why is it gone? Where the fuck is the CORN?” I ranted.
Chef Makolai carried several cans of whole golden kernel corn as he flew to the carts we were pushing. Angels and Doughboys literally sang as he flew. It had no added salt, so the angels and Doughboys sang even louder.
He saved Publix.
"Really Publix saved Publix. It had this corn in stock. And I found it. They didn't move it 40 feet down like the Publix on I-11 did five years ago," Chef Makolai pointed out. He flapped his wings quickly for effect.
"But you still found the corn and saved Publix," I said.
He stared at me. I stared at him. We blinked. There was a moment in which I was honored by his existence.
"Thank God Publix can stay alive. Now can we pleeeasssse get out of here!? I would like to get over this Taco Mac with me series and move on," Chef Vanilla Mac said. "And if I have to listen to chemically-induced ingredients, I am going to scream."
Chef Makolai, Lindsay, the cast of PeeWee Herman, the Grinch, Smeagull, Garfield, and everyone in the store screamed.
"At least no one is reading ingredients. Ugh!" Chef Vanilla Mac said as he ran like the cub he was to the check-out.
"In non-GMO, organic, gluten-free corn tortillas, they have WATER, YELLOW CORN MASA FLOUR ENGINEERED BY DR. ROBOTNIK AND MAMA LUIGI, ORGANIC GUAR GUM, and LIME" I said as I read the ingredients just to troll Chef Vanilla Mac.
Chef Vanilla Mac screamed so loud that everyone else started screaming. "THAT'S ABUSE!!!!!" he shouted.
Paul the Goat even walked back in the store and bleated.
Then we went to check-out because Chef Vanilla Mac just couldn't take anymore.
End Credits: https://youtu.be/Tx-oMRYpH4U?si=eIh7N2AX5dOsEC_q
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Review of B.LAB's Matcha Hydrating Real Sun Screen SPF50+ PA++++
B.LAB is a Korean nature-oriented brand that provides comfort to tired skin. They're also known for high-quality products made from natural ingredients. Their Matcha Hydrating Real Sun Screen is a chemical sunscreen designed to hydrate and protect skin without feeling greasy. Key ingredients include: 940ppm of green tea leaf water (toning, soothing, hydrating, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-aging), ice plant extract (antioxidant, moisture-rich, hydrating, strengthens skin barrier), terephthalylidene dicamphor sulfonic acid (chemical filter, anti-aging, provides effective protection from UVA rays), diethylamino hydroxybenzoyl hexyl benzoate (chemical filter, ideal for protection against UVA rays, extremely skin safe for all skin types) and niacinamide (whitening, lightening, anti-aging, rejuvenating, anti-wrinkle). This product retails for between $10-15 USD, you can get it here for $14.40 + shipping. Currently, you can get it on sale for $6.29 + shipping.
Ingredients
Water, Dibutyl Adipate, Methylpropanediol, Alcohol Denat., Terephthalylidene Dicamphor Sulfonic Acid, 1,2-Hexanediol, Ethylhexyl Triazone, Glycerin, Niacinamide, Polysilicone-15, Tromethamine, Polyglyceryl-3 Distearate, Caprylyl Methicone, Cetearyl Alcohol, Diethylamino Hydroxybenzoyl Hexyl Benzoate, Dipropylene Glycol, Polymethylsilsesquioxane, Palmitic Acid, Stearic Acid, Bis-Ethylhexyloxyphenol Methoxyphenyl Triazine, Glyceryl Stearate, Potassium Cetyl Phosphate, Polyether-1, Carbomer, Ammonium Acryloyldimethyltaurate/VP Copolymer, Glyceryl Stearate Citrate, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Acrylates/C10-30 Alkyl Acrylate Crosspolymer, Camellia Sinensis Leaf Water (940ppm), Ethylhexylglycerin, Adenosine, Butylene Glycol, Menthyl Lactate, Ethyl Menthane Carboxamide, Methyl Diisopropyl Propionamide, Mesembryanthemum Crystallinum (Iceplant) Extract, Pentylene Glycol, Caprylyl Glycol
This sunscreen contains 50 ml (1.69 oz) and is fragrance-free.
The sunblock has a very light cream texture and feels a little wet on the skin.
It blends out really easily and really doesn't feel like a sunscreen.
It absorbs quickly and leaves skin really hydrated and not overly tacky.
There's no flashback or noticeable white cast at all under flash.
Recommended use is to apply the sunscreen and smooth it over the skin and blend and tap into the skin for better absorption. This brand is cruelty-free and uses clean ingredients, it's also fragrance-free. After using, I do personally have somewhat sensitive skin and some sunscreens really irritate my eyes, I did notice a bit of tingling due to the menthyl lactate in the ingredients but otherwise no issues around my eye area. I also have dry skin and I think this works great without any added moisturizer underneath, but it also layers well and does a good job underneath makeup, no pilling at all. There's not really any scent of ingredients that I've noticed too much and of course, it's free of artificial fragrance. The thing that really sticks out to me in Korean and Japanese sunscreens is that you can put these on your lips and not have that kind of unpleasant sunscreen taste. The ingredients are great, minus a couple of ingredients. The cooling tingle is noticeable but not terrible or overly irritating for me, but if you can't handle anything like that, then best to avoid this one. I'd recommend this to anyone with dry and dehydrated skin, people who have sensitive skin, and people who need a lightweight formula.
What I like: I'd like to make it clear, this sunscreen is probably my favorite that I've ever tried and I feel like I don't hear people talking about it. It's also very affordable and I do actually wish they'd make a version with 100 ml. I enjoy the texture and it works so well under makeup. What I don't like: the slightly cooling tingle could irritate very sensitive skin.
Pros:
Moisturizing
Hydrating
Gentle
Layers well
No pilling
Safe around the eyes
Lovely formula
Great texture
Affordable
Smooths over the skin so nicely
Fragrance-free
Cons:
Has a couple irritants
Would I buy this again?
Yes, for sure
Rating: 10/10
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