#people don’t get them like I do

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[goodluckdetective]

Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:

I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:

I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.

I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.

Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.

It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.

I don’t eat dinner.

The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.

#moral ocd #ocd #scrupulosity #Iz rambles #this is okay to reblog I think people really don’t get it #mental illness #the issue with the social media post is not that it exists or that OP even feels about this issue: the issue is it validates my ocd #I don’t obsess about frogs but that is a bummer stat I do rather like them #obsessive compulsive disorder

[whoseblogisitanyways]

tag yourself: intrepid heroes' alter emos as ppl who went to my public high school

#i'm sorry but also i couldn't not frfr #also this is NOT a reflection upon any of the real people in this show #i am most like emy lee and i am ashamed of it #literally i would be 15 minutes late to school every day then do my makeup #but the quote real? unquote emy lee was cooler than me #fhjy #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy shitpost #intrepid heroes #d20 #fh #also murph's alter emo looks so much like one of my shit exes #sorry murph you don’t deserve how savage yours is #tbh the references are soooo early 2010s but i am proud of some of them #and if no one gets any of them all of the skin will wither from my bones #tag urself

[transannabeth]

btw if you borrow dvds or cds from library you can rip them onto your own blanks or onto your hard drive or whatever. librarians don’t care and they won’t know if you do it or not

#not pjo #chitter chatter #library tag #when I was training as a page one librarian was showing us the music section #and was like people come in and take out a bunch of cds and rip them onto their phones and return them the next day #it’s materials moving in and out baby that’s all that matters #get yourself a library card #(not all libraries have a music and dvd/bluray section but it’s worth checking!) #(and get a library card even if you don’t use it) #(but check out your local library to see what they do offer bc there’s lots of programs and other things too) #(not every public library is perfect but you can help influence it to make it the space you want) #100

[tit-mouse]

I’ve got,,, opinions

#sonic #tier list #most people are putting sonjet in comedic value but I can see the potential!!!!!! the genuine!!! #jet with extreme gear giving sonic a real challenge and thrill no one else can give him (without life threatening scenarios) #Sonics heart being the most difficult and most valuable treasure hunt jets ever had #I’ve never actually gotten through the entirety of 90% of the games so I might spitting bullshit #but I’ve got a gut feeling #that’s what I go off of with most ships #thats why sonelise is so high despite alot of the potential they had was squandered I think :( #I think they could have something.. something about loneliness and vulnerability.. about knowing something no one else does.. #people don’t get them like I do

[ewwww-what]

Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.

#very bad doodle I just need to get this out there #don’t look at it too hard I’m begging #someone please talk to me about the blood rush breakup before the world explodes #it is not that serious but I will do anything for twenty seconds of them arguing #the episode hasn’t come out but I am shaking #every time they talk I become a little more evil and fucked up #genuinely though aside from the silliness of the conversation being about sports I have some very strong feelings about the little bits we- #-got to see in the preview #like I will inevitably talk about it but just because I know people are gonna beat me to it I just want to express how excited I am #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #gorgug thistlespring #fabian seacaster #thistlecaster #<- yeah fuck it why not #for my one mutual who likes them #this is for you and you only #fhjy spoilers #my art

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #look im a reasonable guy #i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits #hell i even liked season 4 #but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015 #‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’ #‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’ #‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’ #also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me??? #jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010 #and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship #like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want #instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration #nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing #not…this. #like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused #this has left a bad taste in my mouth

[ohno-the-sun]

Alright here is the full sun ending finally for the mad scientist au

Was posted as the poll results on Twitter but I’ll finally share them here too

You can read the full saga here

Sorry you’ll have to scroll to the top of the tag

Maybe I’ll make a guide for it

#sundrop #fnaf daycare attendant #moondrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #my art #mad scientist au #don’t read tags they are venty today #wanted to get the map out before i posted this #unrelated but have been doing pretty awfully mentally #i think I just feel like people hate me for some reason #this is the problem with receiving compliments my brain takes them and turns them into hate #aaahg just gotta wait for it to wear off I suppose #I tried to take a short break and it only made it worse hmmm

[transmascissues]

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

[o-vera-nalyzing]

my biggest aftg head canon is that andrew is just a silly little guy—like his meds didn’t change his personality he was just more easily distractable and had less of a filter so all the stupid little jokes he made are his own

#let andrew minyard be silly 2k24 #and just to be clear i don’t think he would do it with people he wasn’t comfortable with but like w kevin and neil he’s a silly/corny guy #maybe with aaron and nicky too as he gets older too #and eventually him and neil adopt kids and the foxes find out how corny he is cause the kids rat him out #or he says something silly to his kid to make them laugh and didn’t realize the foxes could hear #also he’s a silly little guy around wymack cause that’s Dad tm #anyways #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #aftg headcanon #original overanalyzing

[fuumiku]

It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.

Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3

This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!

Read from left to right

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #Chilchuck tims #marcille donato #spoilers #dunmeshi au #Maid cafe au #Marchil #Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao #i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more #The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more #You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence #Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw #they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4– #i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years… #Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing #I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be #idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au #romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you #once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair #the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me #shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken #oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front #Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty #Understaffed struggles are so real #People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything #There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk #The pay IS good at least #Modern au

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No Homo. Just committed to the bit.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #the ‘damn before marriage’ followed by a bridal hoist came to me in a vision at 3am #i scrapped the prev comic and remade it into what you see here #dont worry we will cover the fact lwj admits to knowing wwx is in mxy’s body #I’m sacrificing scenes for the sake of mirth & giggles & pacing #ok lets talk about being carried. because it carries so much weight (aha) #to be carried is to rely on other people. To force them into helping. To make them lose face #thats wwx main argument here! ‘don’t do this for me’. underneath: ‘I’m not worth the burden on your shoulders’ #to which lwj says ‘come here and be a burden (literal: weight) in my arms’ #wwx handles being picked up like a fussy cat. which is to say he complains going up and going down. #but is fully settles once *secure and held* #anyway! cant beleive lwj is doing all of this to get back at all that joke flirting wwx did 15 years ago #what a silly guy B*)

[fantasykiri5]

A pair of birds of prey for days 15 and 16 of @hermitadaymay !!! Definitely not a day and a half (?) late

#my art #Hermitaday #hermitadaymay #hermitadaymay2024 #hermit-a-day may #Hermit-a-day may 2024 #Hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #falsesymmetry #falsesymmetry fanart #welsknight #welsknight gaming #welsknight fanart #WHY DID I DECIDE TO DRAW THE STUPIDEST POSE FOR FALSE AND ARMOR FOR WELS AND WINGS FOR THEM BOTH ALL IN ONE DRAWING… #These cunts have six total hours tracked on them… I didn’t even do a background because they took so long… #and thats not even counting looking for armor and feather references like this took two straight days #I’m very proud of it though #anyways they’re NOT related I was in the middle of drawing and realized they looked uncannily alike. So I made the wise decision to give- #-Wels the same mole I give False and the same little lower lash because they’re nose and eye shapes already matched #they’re not siblings (shown by one of them not even being an actual raptor bird) but they do look uncannily similar #and I’ve decided now that my False and Wels like to just lie to people and say they’re twins for fun. #They both have fucked up doppelgängers they would find it funny. #anyways False is a red tailed hawk (specifically a dark morph) #and Wels is a peregrine falcon #armor is so hard to draw guys never draw armor it SUCKS. I did get to have Laois Dunmeshi Touden on my screen for reference the whole time- #-I was drawing Wels though so it’s not all bad #still baffled I draw the human body part of that pose for false so easily though. Fully believe I was possessed by one of the Greek muses- #-or something because I do not know enough about anatomy to have that shit memorized but it looked normal when I looked at it so. Shrugs #anyways YES i will get to Etho tomorrow… I may just draw him WITH Joe because I wanna draw him but I don’t wanna think about posing two- #-difference pieces… though then I’d have to pose them together… but the appeal of putting a Kakashi cosplayer and a muppet next to each-

[turtleblogatlast]

My favorite reading of Leo’s “indubitably” tell is that it’s not actually a tell, and Leo just plays it up as one so he doesn’t get called out when he really wants to hide something.

Especially since throughout the series we see him lie and trick multiple times without saying the word once.

I like to think that one time when they were kids Leo happened to learn the word “indubitably” and because he tends to repeat new words he learns, he ended up using it at the same time as he was caught lying. He uses the word again later in another lie, and that’s where the association comes from.

OR- counter argument: “indubitably” is one of his tells, but only for unimportant things, especially when said to family. Long plays, particularly ones with villains, are in a different category in his head.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #bro said ‘oh everyone thinks that’s a tell…well I won’t stop them then 💅’ #lil schemer #absolutely a one off gag type of thing but fun to take further #listen my boy is a lil manipulative and u know what he’s so valid for it #dude pulled off the Lair Games 4D chess play like it was nothing he 100% knows what to do to get people to believe what he says and does #actually while we’re down here can we take a moment to recognize how good a planner he is as well #because in many unhappy returns when he’s setting up he and splinters battle #he (on the SPOT) decides to incorporate Big Mama’s guards into the fight as well…because he came up with a plan to use them on the kraken #like please that’s so???? nah I don’t think I’ll ever get over that

[thranduel]

astarion, the man who was dying and offered eternal life, but had no idea that it meant becoming a slave to a sadistic master.

astarion, the man who had his freedom and bodily autonomy ripped away from him.

astarion, the man who was forced to befriend, seduce and sleep with people to lure them back to his master, resulting in severe sexual trauma and the struggle to form any sort of intimate relationship.

astarion, the man who was horribly punished whenever he refused his master’s orders (one punishment being sealed away in a dusty tomb, starving, for an entire year. he scratched his hands raw trying to carve his way out).

astarion, the man who was forced to eat rats.

astarion, the man who hasn’t even been able to see his own face since he turned.

astarion, the man who had his body mutilated as cazador carved scars onto his back, which he later found out was to bind him to a ritual.

astarion, the man who is so severely traumatised that he admitted he doesn’t know how to say “no” or ask for help (and he feels guilty when he does).

astarion, the man who waited two centuries to be helped and freed from torture, but no one came.

astarion, the man who was always treated like a monster when all he wanted was to be treated like a person.

astarion, the man who came up to you in the middle of the night just to thank you for defending him and allowing him to make his own decisions.

astarion, the man who said that no one ever looked out for him or showed him kindness, and that you’re the only one. “other people don’t have a heart like you. you’re you. no one is like that.”

astarion, the man who broke the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago thanks to the love, care and compassion that you showed him when no one else did.

astarion, the man who confessed that he loves you and feels safe with you; something he has never felt with anyone before.

#my darling boy :( #astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #his backstory and character development make me want to bawl my eyes out #this is why i get so angry when people don’t even try to understand him #and when they reduce him to things he’s not #like do you pay ANY attention to anything he says?? #or do you just stare at him and drool and then continue to sexualise him #sorry if that sounds dramatic but ughhhhhh man #it’s just incredibly annoying #like i don’t know why some people choose to pick up an intense game with really deep characters if they’re not gonna try to understand them #like they weren’t just made for you to treat them like they’re objects #and what gets me is the fact that astarion would HATE how people talk about him #and yes yes i know he’s not real i’m not dumb i am aware!!!!! #but he would absolutely hate it #that flirty sexy vampire image you have of him isn’t even real #it was a mask he wore #he was literally forced into doing those things #even in the game he has a reputation for flirting and sleeping around but that’s not even who he is or what he wants #it’s all an act #and it’s just so sad how everyone reduces him to that when it traumatises him every day #and apparently there’s a scene with raphael where if you haven’t seen astarion’s scars yet -> #raphael basically says he’s surprised astarion has kept his clothes on for this long and then he strips him naked in front of everyone #it’s so horrible and unfair #i just want to hold his hand and hug him tight. he deserves so much better in the game AND in this fandom #tw abuse #tw sa #my posts

[puppyeared]

Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u

#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they #worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic #with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers #I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories #and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that #but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here #u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others #don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice? #nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it???? #im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop #could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that #while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures #yapping #vent