#point of departure (k)

[itstheghostofmypast]

15.07

Choi San x (f)Reader

Summary: At this point, he didn't know who she loved more, him or Byeol, either way, he was happy. What else could Choi San ask for other than his two favourite girls in the world getting along?

Genre: PURE FLUFF

Warnings: NONE

Word Count: 2.1K

Est. Read Time: 10 min

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels

A/N: No- see @edenesth 💗 did this to me. This timestamp is for my saviour, the one and only @edenesth 💗 , like we should totally blame San for posting such domestic core pics- no wonder we get all delulu- PS THIS COLLAB HAS ME DYING

@edenesth version: [12.58]PM

"San?" she called out, walking down the hallway as she paused in front of the wall-length mirror, fixing her hair once more and checking out her outfit, simple, crisp and a dash of purple. Very different from her usual office attire, very colourful too- after all the first time he had seen her she was in a plain suit, a white dress shirt and slacks, running around collecting printouts for the upcoming spring magazine. That also being the first time he had realised how much he loved the word 'simple'. Okay, fine, perhaps she was dressed on the softer side, but was it so bad to play cute for once? Especially, if she was doing so to please her man. Call it her way of simping.

Truth be told, she wasn't even sure if he was going to show up, after their extensive tour, when he had mentioned the upcoming off days he was to get, she had suggested going to his home town to relax, leaving the city life for a while and although it pained her to know that she would be too busy with her own work at the office, also known as the company he too worked in, she wanted him to rest and relax away from the hustle bustle of his idol life, what she did not expect that after a week of his departure to Namhae, the very next weekend her fluff of a man would be ringing her doorbell in the late hours of the weekend.

"Byeol wanted to see you and so did I, I spent a week there and I'll spend a week here."

Was all he the dimpled man had made his way inside to the living room, opening the carrier to let Byeol out, the living room already a place of her liking. She had been here with San a couple of times; she had also been a very important part of their relationship. Especially on their third date where he had delicately brought up the topic, "Are you allergic to cats?"

"No, why?"

"Do you like cats?"

"Yeah, why?"

He never really answered her question that night, only smiled at her, leaning over the table to add more meat to her plate considering the late hours of the night, her hunger had distracted her from asking more questions, already too emotional at the thought of this angel of a man sacrificing his portion of protein for her - especially after grilling it so well. The only thing that did change was that the next morning she received around 400+ pictures of San's first love, Byeol.

The first time he had brought Byeol over, he was cautious and attentive, making sure both his girls were happy. He asked her cute questions all day- maybe she just found them cute because it was him, or perhaps it was because he was letting her in, into his domain, which is the little kitty roaming around the house.

"Can I put the litter here?"

"All your windows are locked right?"

"Do you mind if I keep the food bowl next to where we eat? She feels lonely otherwise."

"Can she sleep on your bed? I brought her cat mat just in case."

"Can we leave the bedroom door open a bit, so she can come and go without waking us up?"

He stopped when he realised, she wasn't even responding, panicking he looked up from the cat supplies. Maybe she felt like he was intruding or invading her privacy but was too afraid to tell him. Maybe bringing in Byeol was a big step he shouldn't have taken so quickly. What if she meant like she liked cats, at a normal level, like 'oh a cat.'  Not like cuddling them or baby-talking to them. Turning around his eyes scanned the room to spot her holding onto Byeol, carrying her like a baby and cooing at her. It was only then he realised how loud his cat was purring loud enough for it to echo in the silent room.

"Hmmm? You say something, Sannie?" she looked up from Byeol to him, eyes as curious as a cat's, hand resting on the cat's tummy, letting Byeol grab her hand with her soft paws. His heart felt as if it were about to burst out of his ribcage, running to her and landing on her palm, beating in it with an intensity that would borderline scare her. Licking his chapped lips the feline-eyed man shook his head, a genuine dimpled smile forming, one that would send thousands flipping with joy- or in her case have her gushing over it in solitude.

Thus, giving birth to a ritual, often he would spend his free days at his own home, sometimes calling her over, and gratefully his family welcomed her with open arms. On other occasions, he’d drop by to her apartment, bringing their 'daughter' with him.

She remembers the time Byeol had gotten sick. Unfortunately, San was busy that evening, and his parents were out of town so Byeol was to stay with her. Not an issue, at least it wasn't until the third night when San checked his phone after hours of practice late at night. He had decided to stay at the dorm, travelling would be more tiring she understood, but as the man checked his phone his heart almost stopped.

"Byeol is sick, she's vomiting. "

"I'm taking her to the vet."

"She's shivering."

"Okay, my car isn't working!"

'"I ran here, dw, made it in time, they're checking her."

"They say she has a fever, some bug?"

"They want to keep her overnight, idk I mean I can't just leave her here. She looked scared."

"I'm not leaving, but she's sedated. They say she'll be fine."

"San plz reply soon."

"San I'm scared."

Choi San had never run faster in his life he was sure of it, because the moment he burst into the 24/7 pet clinic his lungs were burning worse than a forest fire, his eyes red and blurry, the world around him extremely out of focus as he stumbled to the reception, about to take the patient's name but someone called him instead.

"San!"

His head snapped in her direction, running to her, enveloping her in a tight embrace, trying to calm her down as she began to shiver in his embrace, her words coming out with choked sobs. Hand pressed against her head, he rubbed her back up and down with the other one, looking through the glass window at his cat, sprawled on the table with an IV tube attached.

"It's gonna be okay, it'll be okay."

It took almost an hour to calm her down, he had tried to convince her to go home, she had work the next day but she refused, instead blaming herself for Byeol's health. Though the doctor had assured him it was not because of her incompetency, but the cat food, the cat food Sanhad insisted on changing. Once she found that out, Choi San had to get an earful the remainder of the night, “How can you- I told you not to do that!”

“Babe I- “Don’t babe me! She doesn’t even like salmon! She prefers tuna.”

After the wonderful argument, that through the eyes of an elderly couple waiting for their dog looked like a cute domestic quarrel, came to an end. San remembered sitting next to her sulking as she gave him the silent treatment, though a few moments later her head had landed against his shoulder with a thump, followed by her snores. That night Choi San had realised two things, firstly that he was in love with her and secondly, she probably loved Byeol more than she loved him.

Hence, today they were supposed to go to a cute cafe she had been eying for a month. They had planned on taking Byeol out but since the cat had decided to stay up all night, running around the apartment she was tired today. San had just mocked her, claiming that Byeol knew it was Valentine's Day so she wanted her parents to spend the day together. However, he later countered himself with a, "Though each day is like Valentine's Day with you, love."

Clearing her throat, she dusted off the invisible dust, adjusting her cardigan before making her way to the living room once more, calling out to her significant other, "San! I'm ready to let's go." though his lack of response was confusing her, so she called out again, "Sannie where are you-" her word stopped as soon as she turned the corner, into her living room, spotting a giant starfish sprawled out on the wooden floor. Next to him was Byeol, staring down at him, San's hand pressed against his cat's back in a soothing manner, but she knew what he was doing, making sure his cat didn't move because Byeol was not only pretty but smart too, she knew what her dad was doing.

Sighing she walked closer to him, standing next to Byeol who looked up at her, blinking slowly, before turning back to stare at San. She stared down at him, arms crossed before slowly poking his side with her foot, watching him pretend and stretch, groaning as he cracked an eye open, "Oh~ you're finally done?"  

"Mhmmm." Raising a questioning brow she nodded, "And?"

"Oh, I mean" Sitting up he stretched his legs, much similar to how Byeol would do so, "Byeol said her mommy was taking so long in the shower that we fell asleep, waiting for you…" his words trailed off when he turned to look at her, his breath hitching at the sight of the soft pastels, the pretty purple, purple really was her colour. Clearing his throat he quickly got up, standing to talk in front of her, merely a few inches away from her as he stretched his arms over his head before casually bringing them down, not so discreetly wrapping them around her and slamming her into him, smirking when she whined.

"The dress will wrinkle Sannie." she tried to push him away but he pulled her closer, leaning down to peck the tip of her nose, "You can't look like a pretty pixie and not expect me to hold onto you like Captain Hook kidnapped Tinkerbell."

"What an analogy."  she mumbled, letting him squeeze her into his warm chest, feeling the vibrations as he chuckled, "You look very pretty…I like your cardigan."

"Thanks, your mom gave it to me last birthday. " Her arms wrapped around his waist, letting him gently sway them from side to side.

“Who do you think chose it?” he smiled down at her, finally meeting her with a gentle kiss, one she savoured greatly, hands fisting his shirt as his palm pressed against her back before slowly trailing down, though their little moment came to halt sudden when a high-pitched squeak caught their ears. Pulling back, she looked down at Byeol, frowning before turning to look at San, “Why isn’t she wearing her leash?” “What do you mean?”

Tutting at her gorgeous idiot of a man, she pulled away completely before crouching to grab the cat and walking towards the door where they hung coats and her leash. “I said we’re going to the café.”

“I know,” he mumbled scratching his head, a bit confused as to what she meant, “I got a booking for it, no? Why are you – we can’t take her there and it's almost time for our reservation.”

“Aww~ don’t listen to daddy, Byeol” San watched her talk to his cat instead of him, watching her put on Byeol’s harness and leash, somewhat impressed because Byeol never let him do that this easily, though the next statement had him blushing mad. “He’s a bit slow, handsome, but slow, he forgot we’re going to a cat café, you’ll have fun there~ Won’t you baby~”

Letting out a hearty chuckle he closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief, of course she’d come up with this idea on her own. She had mentioned earlier how leaving Byeol home wasn’t fun especially when the cat was their ‘child’ and leaving their child unattended was cruel. He watched the cat jump off the table and onto the floor, meowing up at his lover who sent Byeol a flying kiss, San didn’t know what heaven was, but if anyone were to ask him to describe what it looked like, the view was right in front of him.

“Any kisses for me?” He asked walking up to his two girls, who were almost out the door, pausing when she winked at him, “depends big boy. Might need to send our baby back home for a while if that’s what you want.” And that had the man shivering with excitement running after her as the two made it to the elevator, already planning on asking someone or one of the guys to watch his little baby for the night, so he could have a night with his kitten.

“Don’t worry, I think that can be arranged, kitten.”

Taglist: @edenesth @mlysalt @spooo00oky @cereal-simp @yessa-vie

#cromernet #k labels #ateez imagine #ateez fluff #choi san #hongjoong #break the wall #seonghwa #mingi #yunho #jongho #fluff #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #atiny #yeosang #song mingi #ateez #atz x reader #atz imagines #choi san x reader #san x reader #san x you #san x y/n #ateez fic #ateez scenario #xikers #ateezedit #valentines

[fluentmoviequoter]

My Shy Dogsitter

Part 3 of My Shy Valentine

Pairing: Tim Bradford x shy!fem!reader

Summary: When you're asked to watch Kojo and Ghost at the same time, you don't think there will be any problems. Tim's unexpected jealousy is a distraction you didn't anticipate.

Warnings: brief jealousy, discussion of the events of part 2 and what happened after, lots of fluff and doggy cuddles! The dog commands are Czech bc Ghost is a police dog :)

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

“Oh, you’re welcome,” you reply after Kojo licks your hand in thanks for dinner. “Just doing my job.”

“Kojo gets a cute reply, but when I kiss you to express my gratitude, you run away,” Tim accuses from the open doorway. “How is that fair?”

A low growl sounds from the living room, and you look over your shoulder as you stand.

“Ghost, klid,” you call.

“Ghost?” Tim asks loudly. “Why is Hughie’s dog here?”

“He and Mrs. Hughie wanted a date night,” you explain softly. “I offered to watch him so he wouldn’t have to stay in the kennel.”

Tim’s eyes drop to Kojo momentarily before saying, “Okay.” He sets his jacket and keys on the back of your couch and sends Ghost a stern look before asking, “I guess that means we’re staying in for dinner?”

“I made food, but we can order something if you want. Sorry I didn’t tell you Ghost would be here.”

Tim takes two long steps toward you before raising his hands to cup your warming cheeks. When your eyes hesitantly meet his, he smiles.

“I’m not upset. Just wasn’t expecting you to be running a dog motel.”

“It’s a hotel; my hosting skills are far above motel status,” you whisper.

Tim shakes his head before raising his elbows slightly. Before he can say “whenever you want,” you wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself flush against him. It’s been a hard few months, but Tim has been happy to give you everything you need. When you wanted him to hold you, he did, but the moment you said you needed space to think, he left with a promise that he’d be nearby. After he dumped you to save your life, and then actually saved your life from an intruder wanting to hurt you and Tim, Tim said that he loves you and you haven’t doubted that for a moment. The lingering worry and heartbreak following his sudden departure took time to work through, though.

“I love you,” you say against Tim’s shirt. “Sorry.”

Kojo nudges his snout between your leg and Tim’s. You move one foot back to make room for him, and Kojo happily joins your embrace.

“Whatever you’re apologizing for,” Tim begins.

“Taking too long,” you whisper.

“When I said that I understood not being ready to trust me again, I meant it.”

“I do trust you; I’ve trusted you since the moment you came back. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Tim’s smile returns, and he nudges Kojo gently as he leans in to kiss you. While you still get shy with Tim’s affection, you’re not as quiet as you were when you met. Tim knows you and loves you, so your quietness never bothers him, and the shy glances and soft touches you give him take him back to the day you met in the K-9 unit. Tim breaks the kiss to pull back, and you drop your eyes to his chest.

“See, buddy?” he asks Kojo. “She told you ‘you’re welcome,’ but she won’t even look at me.”

“Stop,” you request.

“You made me and Kojo dinner; I’m not stopping until you’re thoroughly thanked.”

Ghost barks once, and Tim rolls his eyes.

“What’s your problem with Ghost?” you inquire. “Still mad that he wanted to kill you for breaking my heart?”

“I will kiss you again,” Tim threatens. You lower your chin but don’t break eye contact with him. “Ghost is an attention seeker. When he’s around, you focus on him.”

“You’re jealous of Ghost?”

Tim raises his eyebrows, and you shrug; it’s half of an apology that you don’t mean. Since you met, Tim has been vying for your attention, so the accusation isn’t that far-fetched. Hughie pointed out that Tim waits for you to come to him when you visit the station, too, so you were already aware of some type of animosity between your police officer and the police dog.

“I’m working a fourteen-hour shift tomorrow. Can you watch Kojo for one more day?” Tim asks rather than answering your question.

“Of course. He’s always welcome here,” you answer happily. “You both are.”

Tim’s smile widens as he follows you to the kitchen and mumbles, “I’ll remember that.”

✯✯✯✯✯

You’re pleasantly surprised at how well Ghost and Kojo get along. There hasn’t been a single disagreement, no fights or growling at one another, and you are happy to see them bonding. When they lay on the same dog bed, back-to-back, while you and Tim eat dinner, you smile at the sight. Tim requires your attention, though, and you turn away from them to be tormented by your boyfriend.

When the night ends, driven to an early close by Tim’s early shift tomorrow, he furrows his brows at Ghost lying beside Kojo.

“When’s Hughie picking him up?” Tim asks.

“Two days,” you answer.

“I thought you said he went out for dinner!”

“Yeah. In Vancouver.”

Tim closes his eyes momentarily before looking at you.

“What?” you ask nervously.

“You are… lucky you’re cute and shy,” Tim decides.

“Thank you?”

Tim pulls you in for one more kiss and laughs when you say, “You’re welcome” afterward. He tells Kojo goodnight before his hands wander to your waist again. Your reminder that he has an early morning is met with a groan and another tight hug. After Tim walks out and demands you call him if you need anything, you tidy your house before getting ready for bed.

With Ghost’s dog bed on one side of your bed and Kojo’s on the other, you’re prepared for a comfortable night with both of them. As you lay in bed, wearing your favorite pair of pajamas, Kojo raises his head onto the bed and looks up at you. His puppy eyes wear you down almost instantly, and you wonder if he learned that from Tim.

“C’mon, Kojo,” you whisper with a pat to the space beside you. Ghost’s head appears on the other side of the bed, and you extend the same invitation to him, too. “You guys be nice and just cuddle tonight, okay? And don’t hog my blankets.”

Kojo grunts, a very Tim Bradford-style acknowledgment while Ghost lays a paw over your leg. As you drift to sleep, you feel them move closer.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you wake to the feeling of a tongue on your cheek, you temporarily forget where you are. Kojo looks offended at your sudden jerk away from him, but Ghost snuggles farther against your back. Dealing with Kojo is like dealing with an even less verbal Tim sometimes.

“Breakfast time already?” you ask groggily.

Kojo’s tail wags and Ghost stirs behind you, so you sit up and pat them both. The sound of excited paws following you through the hallway makes you happy, and you realize that you won’t want to be alone after so much quality time with Kojo and Ghost. They’re the best friends you have; they cuddle you and love you unconditionally, but don’t make you shy just for the fun of it. Unlike Kojo’s dad.

“Well, boys, I’m here all day,” you announce as you enter the kitchen. “What should we do?”

Kojo barks and smacks one side of his dog bed (the one that is in your living room; you’ve spoiled him and he has more than one). Ghost matches his excitement and bounces his front feet off the floor. You think that means cuddling, since Kojo seems inclined to have company, even on his dog bed.

“Tim said I could make you your favorite, Kojo, and Hughie said you could be treated every once in a while, Ghost. So, let’s make breakfast and then we’ll watch a movie.”

As you move around your kitchen, preparing salmon and sweet potato dog treats for both of them, Kojo and Ghost sit at attention and watch your every move.

After filling their stomachs, Ghost and Kojo jump onto the couch and situate themselves on either side of you as you turn on a movie. Time seems to speed up as you play with them, take them on a walk, and return to your cuddling position as the sun sets.

Your door opens around dusk, and you know there’s only one person who has a key. Tim stops short after he closes the door, and he looks back and forth between you, Ghost, and Kojo. He meant it when he said Ghost seeks your attention, and Kojo obviously does too, but when Tim sees both dogs on you, and that there is no room for him, he considers never bringing Kojo back here again.

“Hi!” you greet over the back of the couch.

Ghost moves so his face is beside yours, and you smile before rubbing your fingers behind his ears.

“Hey,” Tim replies. “Hope Kojo wasn’t too much trouble.”

Kojo wiggles so he’s even closer to you before lifting his head to look at Tim. His tail thumps against the couch, but he doesn’t move away from you.

“He never is. He’s a good boy,” you promise. “You are too, Ghost.”

Tim nods where he stands, wondering why he is jealous of two dogs. Because they’re so close to you, he decides. You talk to them freely, and even though he knows why, it bothers Tim that you don’t interact with him the same way.

“No room for me,” Tim laments. “Guess I’ll just go home.”

You shake your head rapidly and reach a hand over the couch toward him.

“Kojo,” Tim calls.

Kojo closes his eyes and pretends not to hear. You stifle a laugh at him; it’s as if he knows what Tim is asking him to do.

“Ghost, lehni,” you command.

Ghost moves off of the couch, opting to sit at your feet with his face turned to yours.

“How was work?” you ask Tim as he moves toward the couch.

“Busy,” he answers.

Tim puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you against him before sighing. Now that he is in his rightful place, Tim feels like he can relax. And maybe get some revenge for the lack of attention you’ve given him recently.

“Since you’re so good with Kojo, maybe I should pick up more shifts,” he muses.

“Oh,” you say softly. You lay a hand on his chest and trace a shape over his heart. “I’m always happy to watch Kojo if that’s what you want.”

“Plus, you live closer now, so it would be easy to drop him off and pick him up.”

You nod as you try to hide your devastation. Moving closer after you were attacked seemed like the right decision, but the thought of even less time with Tim is not one you enjoy.

“I’ll be right back,” you murmur before standing. “Ghost, kemne. Kojo, you too.”

Kojo leaves Tim alone on the couch as he follows you and Ghost to the backdoor. They run out and begin sniffing around your yard as they stretch their legs. With space between you and Tim, you cross your arms tightly and tug your bottom lip between your teeth to think. You love helping Tim and watching Kojo, but you need time with Tim too. Asking him not to pick up more hours requires a directness that you don’t typically possess. Lost in thought, you don’t hear Tim walk out behind you. When his arms circle your waist and his chin drops onto your shoulder, you tense.

“What’s going on in that shy, gorgeous head?” he asks.

“I miss you,” you whisper, dropping your gaze to the grass.

“I’m right here. You can hug me, hide from me, whatever you want to do today.”

“Not- not like that. I miss you.”

“You don’t want me to work more and leave you to cuddle with dogs instead of me?” Tim asks. “’Cause you don’t show it.”

You shake your head, well aware of Tim’s jealousy.

“Pozor,” you tell Ghost.

He turns and lowers his head to glare at Tim.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” Tim concedes.

You turn in Tim’s hold, but when your eyes meet his, you immediately look away.

“Can you look at Kojo or something?” you mumble. Tim squeezes your waist but obeys and looks over your shoulder. You keep your eyes on his face as you say, “I feel like I wasted time working through my emotions, and keeping you at arms’ length was a mistake. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to take more hours because I miss you.”

Tim’s eyes slide back to yours, and his smiles. “I wasn’t going to. Just needed you to know that I didn’t like coming home to see you cuddling with other boys.”

Kojo barks, and you smile as Tim chuckles.

“And you didn’t waste time, okay? You went through something traumatic; the time spent dealing with that was necessary. I’ll always be here.”

“I love you.”

Kojo and Ghost run to your side as Tim leans in to kiss you. They tilt their heads back and howl together while you smile against Tim’s lips.

“Ghost is leaving tomorrow, right?” Tim asks after he steps back to make room for Kojo between you, where he belongs.

“He is. Hughie and Mrs. Hughie are coming back tonight.”

“Good. I need my spot back, pal.”

Ghost looks up at Tim, unmoving for a moment before his tail wags and he opens his mouth to pant.

“You are pretty cute, though,” Tim admits under his breath.

“That’s usually my line,” you say as Tim reaches down to pet Ghost.

“I’m only working until lunch tomorrow,” Tim says. His attention is back on you rather than Ghost or Kojo, and you fight not to squirm under his intense blue gaze. “Maybe Kojo and I can come over and make sure you’re properly moved in. I know Kojo is since you’re single-handedly keeping the pet store in business.”

“I love him,” you defend. “And you.”

Tim leans in but stops short of kissing you when the doorbell rings. He lays a hand on your lower back and leads you to the couch, quietly gesturing for Kojo to stay with you. You watch as he opens the door, impressed with how comfortable he seems in your space.

“Tim?” Hughie asks as the door opens.

Ghost barks excitedly and runs to the door to greet Hughie.

“I came to relieve you early, but it doesn’t seem like you’re struggling,” Hughie says with a smile.

“How was the trip?” you ask as you pass Ghost’s bag to Hughie.

“It was great. Now, we have to plan the anniversary party and trip.”

“She can’t dogsit for the trip,” Tim interjects.

“I can help plan a party though,” you say. “I’m much better at planning than attending.”

“Weirdly, I believe that,” Hughie jokes. “I’ll leave you two and Kojo to enjoy your evening.”

You say bye to Ghost and Hughie, but when Hughie passes Tim, he sends him a strange look that is met with a nod from Tim. Tilting your head to the side, you wonder what it was about.

“You and Hughie get along, right?” you ask with your hands linked before you.

“Yeah. When he’s not threatening to let Ghost kill me for breaking your heart.”

“You fixed it,” you say with a shrug.

Tim smiles before wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You’ll never have an empty seat beside you with Tim, Kojo, and Ghost, and you don’t want it any other way. Even when they make you shy.

#my shy valentine #tim bradford x reader #shy!reader #tim bradford x fem!reader #tim bradford x y/n #tim bradford x you #tim bradford fic #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford fluff #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford #the rookie abc #team shy! #fem!reader #requests

[adnauseum11]

M.I.A. (John Price x Reader)

John finally arrives home after a successful mission.

1.2 k words

CW: swearing

Feedback welcome!

Thanks for the support over this series - it's hugely appreciated!

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series - Masterlist pinned to my blog.

While not explicitly written for @glitterypirateduck O Captain challenge it does fit the criteria (sorta). It's already got a lot of wonderful submissions, go check it out if you're looking for new Price fics and drabbles.

Masterlist

O Captain challenge

Ao3

The street is lonely and dark when John arrives home again. It’s late, so he’s not surprised to see the lights off in the flat. He parks and sighs, pushing his fingers through his hair. He pauses to take stock for a moment, his forearm bandaged beneath his sleeve, the dull throb almost unnoticeable unless he focuses on it. His innards are unsettled with nerves, more nerves than he felt about returning to the field. The idea that he’s still more used to the dangers of his work, life threatening as they are, than the quirks of his domestic life strikes him as terribly backwards. He debates sleeping on the couch before rejecting the thought and scooping his rucksack from the trunk with a heavy sigh and heading inside.

It's quiet in the gloomy flat, the ticking of the clock on the wall way too loud to John’s recently recalibrated ears. He carefully sets the rucksack off to the side and takes his boots and jacket off as quietly as he can manage, creeping down the hallway to the bedroom. It’s nearly pitch black, and he moves through the space on memory, shucking his clothing. It isn’t until he’s carefully lifting the covers that he realizes he can’t hear breathing.

Reaching cautiously across the cool sheets, John’s heart gives an extra hard kick when his hand doesn’t collide with a warm, sleeping form as expected. It collides with absolutely nothing, swiping through the sheets unimpeded. Panic spikes in his brain and he’s stumbling off the bed to hit the light switch, needing his eyes to confirm what his body has already discovered.   

Light floods the room and reveals the empty side of the bed. For a moment John feels like he can’t breathe, his lungs emptying without the ability to refill. The panic swirling through him feels too large for his body and he can’t stop the surprised wheeze that ekes out, unbidden.

His first instinct is to check for a note, and he vaults over the bed to check the bedside table. When that turns up nothing he heads for the bathroom, his eyes scanning across the countertop and mirror, only to find his own alarmed reflection. John forces himself to take deep breaths as he moves back into the bedroom, opening his drawers and pulling on a fresh shirt and jeans by rote. He’s exhausted, not having slept in a real bed in days, but adrenaline is coursing through him with a sharpness he can’t refute. Sleep will not be had any time soon.

He methodically checks the rest of the apartment, turning lights on and finding the blanket on the couch unfolded and abandoned, half wedged under a cushion. It doesn’t take a genius to see you had slept on the couch at some point before your departure. There’s no sign of a struggle, just an empty wine bottle and one glass with lip prints all over it. John repeats that there’s no signs of a struggle to himself, over and over as he pads back down the hallway to his bedroom, collecting his phone.

He pauses, internally debating whether or not to press the call button that his thumb is hovering over. The weight of the last few days lands on John’s shoulders firmly and he hits ‘call’ with a deep sigh that rattles the lining of his lungs. It almost goes to voicemail before the call connects.

“This had better be good.”

The familiar but groggy voice on the other end grumbles by way of greeting.

“I fucked up, Kate. She’s gone.”

“Wait, wait, what?”

John can hear Kate’s heaved sigh and rustling over the line, a hushed but urgent conversation being had in the background.

“She’s gone. I got home and she’s not here. There’s no sign of a struggle but I just…I can’t sleep. I won’t be able to sleep. I need to know she left by her own power, not dragged out of here. Please Kate. Can you pull CCTV footage, there’s one across the street-”

“Alright, hold on. Hold on, John.”

Kate’s trying to interrupt John’s flow of information. John finally stops talking, the silence on the line unnaturally tense.

“I’m up, I’m logging in, just…give me a second to play catch up.”

John grunts an affirmation, pacing back and forth at the end of the bed, the neatly made linens ramping his anxiety up. Either you never slept in the bed after he left, or you took the time to make the bed in John’s exacting military style. If he was a betting man, he knows which of the two options he would pick, which only serves to heighten his agitation.

“Ok, let’s go over this again. You say she’s gone?”

“She’s not fucking here Kate.”

“Ok, alright, let me look, I’m locating the CCTV across the road from your place now. I’m going to go ahead and guess your conversation did not go well before you left?”

“No. She said I’m making choices for her without involving her in the discussion first.”

“Well, that tracks, to be fair, John. She’s not under your command, remember.”

John’s sigh turns in to a growl, pushing his fingers through his hair while he paces, waiting for more information. Kate’s end is silent for what feels like an eternity as she works through the footage cache of the past few days.

 “Looks like she left the day after you did. A car picked her up in the morning – she took a bag. No note or anything, saying she’s visiting someone?”

“No, I’ve looked. Nothing.”

There’s silence again on the other end of the line for a minute before Kate speaks.

“John, I’m saying this because its Christmastime and you’ve had a hell of a run lately and I can tell this woman means a lot to you. I know what you are about to ask me. Tracking civilians without any cause is very much frowned upon, as you know, and if she didn’t tell you where she was going, she might not be happy to see you if you decide to follow up. Understand? Don’t sabotage yourself. Try to sit tight for a few days. If she’s still not back, get in touch and I’ll see what I can dig up. Right now, respect the distance.”

There’s a warning in Kate’s hushed voice, and John does his level best to reign himself in and heed it.

“Kate- “

“Listen, It’s alright John, she’s moved in now, right? She’ll be back. Figure out how to make it right in the meantime. Try to get some sleep if you can.”

Kate isn’t saying anything John doesn’t already know, but hearing it from her solidifies it somehow.

“Shit. Shit. Yeah. Yeah, alright. Thanks Kate. Sorry.”

“I’ll pass that ‘sorry’ directly on to my wife. At ease, Captain. Nothing more to be done right now, unfortunately. Get some rest.”

Kate is the voice of reason, even though John knows he’s unlikely to sleep and everything in him is screaming at him to find out more. He forces himself to swallow his arguments and listen to his old friend.

“Rog that, Kate. Thanks, again.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch @magsmagic @chickennn-soupp @h0n3y-l3m0n05

#fanfic #john price x reader #captain john price #john price #john price cod #john price x f!reader #friends to lovers #john price x you #captain price #captain john price x reader #cod fanfic #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction

[kissingghouls]

Little Ghost

Phantom Ghoul x GN! Reader - Fluff, it's soooo much fluff my dudes. 1700 words.

Summary: Phantom gives you a gift to help you while he's away. One could consider this a sort of sequel to If You Remember This Tomorrow if you wanted to 👻 (ao3) // A Late Night Call (pt3)

-x-

Phantom’s room is smaller than yours, but the bed is much more comfortable. At first, you thought there was a practical reason—better mattress or softer sheets. It wasn’t until the third time he shared the space with you that you realized it was just because of him.

It’s the same feeling you get when he kisses your forehead or takes your hand in a crowded room. There’s a sense of relief you get when he curls around you at night, a quiet calm that pains you to think about tonight.

You had pushed for this, of course. It was you who dragged him from the bed without bothering to change out of his t-shirt. And you had pulled him up the stairs to the party. You wanted to see him and your friends having a good time together and, maybe selfishly, wanted to avoid becoming “that” kind of partner.

But the lights are too bright and the room is so crowded. You put on a brave face and shoot the ghoul a half-smile. He’s quick to pick up the shift in your mood, concern pinching his eyebrows together.

He says your name, but the music is too loud to hear. You smile again, genuinely this time, in response to his quirked eyebrow. He drapes his arms over your shoulders and lets his weight sink down on you. You turn your head to say something unimportant, but he steals a kiss that quiets you.

There’s a discussion neither one of you want to have. It lingers in the air like a heavy ghost, touching each word that the two of you have managed to say over the last few days. You accepted reality long before the two of you became “official,” but it didn’t make things any easier.

Phantom’s bed was comfortable with him in it and your stomach hurts when you think of sleeping there alone.

A few weeks didn’t seem like that long at first. It didn’t stop the pair of you from growing closer in a way that you would have protected yourself from if you knew it would hurt this bad. But stupidly, you had allowed yourself to care and let him become something more to you. What it was, you weren’t sure yet, so you didn’t dare say it out loud.

“You ok?” He asks in your ear even though he knows the answer. He can feel it radiate off you any time he gets close to you lately. It makes his chest ache to think that he has hurt you.

You smile, nod, and kiss him on the cheek as Swiss and Aurora whirl by in a flurry of layered skirts and practiced steps. Dew was still mad at you for showing them that k-pop video and he scowls at you from across the room, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. Phantom catches this and playfully bares his teeth at the other ghoul until he rolls his eyes and stomps away.

No one else seemed to look like they were leaving in the morning. There were others who were in the same position as you, but they seemed to be doing just fine. That, or they were really good at pretending not to notice the countdown looming over the abbey.

The buses are parked outside, departure set first thing in the morning. Phantom finished packing his bags a couple of hours ago, a mess of clothes shoved haphazardly into suitcases and flung next to his door with those tall stage boots. He smiled so proudly when you laughed at his methods, easily giving up the reason he’d done it in the first place. It was things like that you’d miss just as much as the weight of him next to you, the little moments you treasured without him fully understanding why. You couldn’t quite explain it to him, but he was so adorably patient when you tried to find the words.

You lean against him, tucking yourself into his side. He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses the top of your head. It’s like coming up for air, the way he makes you feel. The pressure and the immense relief all rolled into one.

And you’re really going to fucking miss him.

“Bug?” you ask, hoping he can hear you because even ounce of strength you have is forcing back tears. “I know this was my idea—”

“Oh, thank Satan! I want to leave so bad,” he confesses.

“You do?”

“Bee,” he says, and the nickname rolls off his tongue sweet as honey. “I love everyone here—really, I do. But I just want to hang out with you tonight.”

“Really?”

He frowns at your apparent disbelief before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You,” he says. “Just you.”

You’re not sure if you’ve ever smiled so wide before and your face might hurt in the morning. He sees this as he takes your hand and pulls you to the edge of the room, looking of his shoulder every few seconds. The two of you are so close to the exit when Mountain lets out a loud whistle nearby.

“Hey Phantom,” he shouts. “You got somewhere better to be?”

“Yep,” he calls back without stopping.

The others laugh loudly behind you, but it doesn’t matter anymore. When you reach the hall, he breaks into a run and you both thunder down the hallway, your own laughter ringing off the walls.

The ghouls’ floor is deserted, the evening too young for even the worst wet blanket of the bunch. It suits you just fine as you skip through to Phantom’s room and throw yourself on the bed. You never should have left this place, but you’ll know better next time. He watches you from the doorway, casually leaning in a way that doesn’t look comfortable at all, but you’d be surprised as you often are when it comes to him.

“Better?” he teases as you sink into the mattress, wishing to stay like this forever.

It’s good, you suppose, that you’ve already started to miss him. There’s been a pull on your heart any time he’s just out of reach ever since that first kiss, but this you feel in your bones. He’s part of you now—injected and absorbed like vitamins until he calcifies and strengthens the weakest parts of you. There’s a word for it, but it’s too much, too soon, and anyway he’s leaving in the morning.

He chews his lip, knowing there is something running through that head of yours that he doesn’t quite know how to help with. He wishes more than anything that he could be split in two so that part of him could stay with you. For him just as much as for you. But it wasn’t possible. He made sure to ask.

Instead, he crosses the room and digs through his closet for the surprise he was trying so hard to keep until tomorrow. But he knows now that when it comes to you the only thing he can’t do is wait. You stare up at him with big, round eyes as he sets the gift in your lap and settles next to you.

“Wha—”

“Just open it, Bee.”

Your brow furrows as you take in the explosion of tissue paper stuffed into a very large gift bag. It’s surprisingly heavy in your hands as you dig through the tangle of colorful and coiled ribbons to pull the handles apart. Tears sting your eyes as you free a large, floppy stuffed dog from its rainbowy hold. It stares back at you, eyes the same color as Phantom’s. Its weighted belly and limbs sag as you hold it by the ears and begin to sob.

“Hey, hey,” Phantom soothes, trying to contain his growing panic.

“It’s perfect,” you say quickly. “I’m sorry. I just—I wasn’t expecting—I didn’t get you—”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss, his thumbs quickly swiping away your errant tears. “I’ve been a wreck all week, honestly. And I thought if I feel like this, you’d feel like this and then I felt worse. But then at the end of the day we come back here and it’s just us and I like the way that feels. I know we’re going to miss each other but maybe this guy will help the bed to not feel so empty.”

You press your forehead to his. “Thank you.”

“Pretty sure I’d do anything for you,” he admits. He grabs the stuffed dog and drops it into your lap before pulling you close. The helpless pup is sandwiched by your bodies, silently absorbing whatever is happening between the two of you. “I’d probably stay if you asked me to,” he continues, lips forming words on your neck. “But I think we’d both get in so much trouble.”

“I’d never ask, you know,” you assure him, fingers gripping right to the back of his shirt.

“I know,” he says with a nod. “Doesn’t make the thought of leaving any easier.”

“Well, what if we just think about you coming back?”

“What do you mean?”

“You won’t be gone forever, right? You do get to come home at the end of the tour.”

“Hmm. I like the way your brain works.”

“And here I thought I was just nice to look at,” you tease.

He laughs loudly. “Never gonna live that down, huh?”

“Maybe someday.” You fall back in the bed, pulling him down with you. “So, what do we name him?”

“Whatever you want.” He brushes a hand through your hair, the odd spark of quintessence magic shocking you like static electricity. It still happens sometimes when he feels something strongly, his body still adjusting to this world.

You hum for a moment, pretending to think. “Little Ghost,” you tell him and boop his nose with the dog’s.

“Little Ghost?”

“Well, he’s like a substitute Phantom right? Something that’s you, but not you. Like a phantom Phantom. He’s a little ghost of you, but corporeal.”

“I like it.” He fluffs one of Little Ghost’s ears. “Think he’ll be enough to replace me?”

You cuddle close to him, wanting to hold on to that feeling of being beside him for as long as you can. “No one could ever replace you, but he’s a pretty strong second.”

#my fics #my writing #phantom ghoul x reader #phantom ghoul x gn reader #the band ghost fanfiction #the band ghost fic #ghost band fanfic #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls fanfic

[gatorlovebot]

continuation of this blurb here. check out my king!simon masterlist here.

the days following your dispute with simon over lunch were reminiscent of your earlier days serving under the king. you performed all your duties but there was no laughter, no shared looks, none of simon’s dreadful puns. you couldn’t tell if simon was upset with you or if he was just giving you the space that you had asked for. 

there’s a part of you that wishes you could take it back, take back all of your biting words from your little quarrel so things could go back to how they’d always been. even if you couldn’t have simon to yourself, you’d do anything to get back his humor and casual touch. 

was this how it was going to be? was this his way of telling you that he doesn’t want you?

the questions swirled through your mind constantly, but everytime you tried to open up your mouth, no sound would come out, fearful of whatever response you’d get in return. 

you didn’t think you’d feel this awful, having been so fiercely irritated with him days previous. but now you couldn’t muster up the energy to be cross with him because you missed him. 

you seemed to luck out though, the secretary had scheduled an hours long meeting with you to create the itinerary for the king’s upcoming cross country trip. simon would not be in attendance, instead attending to other matters, and you were frankly excited to spend some time away from him. 

you had to admit that it was going to be bitter sweet though, the only time you got to spend away from him was time spent planning his trip. that you would be accompanying him on. your dynamic may have changed over the past few days but your duties to your king had not. 

“so, this is where you’ll be staying, i already sent for the accommodations. i made sure to get you a room right next to the king’s.” and you shouldn’t be surprised, on all your travels you had lodged right next to simon. it used to be something that you reveled in, being able to fall out of bed and go directly next door to pick out his clothes instead of having to walk all the way across the castle in the early hours of the morning. but now you dread the mornings and the way you and simon barely speak while alone in his bedroom, just going through the motions. 

“it’s quite a long trains ride, most likely all day,” the secretary continued you on, outlining your future route on a map that he had rolled out across the table. you couldn’t say you were excited for such a long journey, but you hoped that maybe a change of scenery would help with your’s and simon’s issues. “but the journey is worth it for such a beautiful place.”

“have you been there?” you inquire. you had been working more with the secretary the past few days, little details here and there regarding the upcoming departure, but this is your first time sitting down with him for an extended period of time. it would be good for your future working relationship to get to know each other better. 

“i have, i did a bit of traveling on my own before coming to the castle.” he explained, pointing out various other cities and towns on the map. “i didn’t really know what kind of opportunities i’d have for travel while here, so i traveled to some places i really wanted to see before accepting the position.”

your servitude under the king has allowed you many opportunities for travel, to see parts of the world you could have never even imagined. but there was a little bit of desire within you to be able to go where you wanted when you wanted, instead of only going places to accompany the king. especially now, with your relationship with the king in such a precarious position. there was a feeling of trepidation with the upcoming trip, only a few short days away now. throughout the years, you and simon had your ups and downs, but this time you were expecting a permanent change in your relationship to him, and not a positive one. 

you sat in silence as the secretary went over the rest of the itinerary, where you and the king would be going, what people you would be meeting. the trip was to only last a few days, each day packed with things to do and people to meet. the secretary was advising you on potential clothing items to pack, due to your destination experiencing snowfall before your kingdom when you felt a presence lingering at the doorway. 

the secretary also noticed the presence, turning to see simon stood in the threshold. taking in the sight of the two of you huddled up at the table. you had a hard time reading his face, but his voice was surprisingly soft as he spoke, “i’m going down to dinner, my dear, if you’d like to join me.”

it's something that he started doing after your spat, asking you if you wanted to do things, if you wanted to join him, instead of just expecting you to do so. you found it odd, he hadn’t absolved you of your duties yet so why was he continuously giving you a choice in them?

“or,” he continued, voice almost curious, “if you two would like some more time together you can.”

you consider his offer for a moment, you had been having a pleasant time with the secretary, you could easily send simon down to dinner alone. but you had to admit that you missed his handsome face in the hours that you had been apart that day. you turned back to the secretary and started gathering up the papers that were strewn across the table, “thank you so much for you time today, sir, i think we’ve smoothed everything out for the trip.”

you could see a flash of disappointment on his face, maybe expecting you to stay with him instead of going to simon. you probably should have stayed with him, should tell simon to leave and ask the secretary what his previous offer would entail. you were a little stumped that he hadn’t taken this meeting as an opportunity to approach you about it again since the previous time he seemed so serious. but his face quickly settled into a polite smile, the one that he usually had on his face. “thank you for my your time today, my dear. enjoy your dinner.”

you stood from your chair, gathering up your documents in hand before making your way over to simon to make your way down to the dining room. you stopped at the threshold at the sound of the secretary's voice, “your highness, thank you for letting me borrow her for the day.” 

simon didn’t even turn to face the secretary, just inhaling loud and long before biting out, “she’s not something to borrow.” and with that gruff comment he stepped out into the corridor, and strided to the staircase. 

you wanted to roll your eyes at his comment and abrupt departure down the corridor, but it was just so simon that you couldn’t help but let a humorous smile stretch across your lips. you wordlessly followed him down the stairs, down hallway after hallway until you finally reach the grand dining room.  

as you make your way to the table simon does something surprising, he pulls out your chair for you. it was something that he did for you in your first few days of serving under him, until you two became more comfortable with each other and you told him through laughter that he did not have to do such cliche gestures for you. 

you looked at him curiously, but when all he did was gesture to the seat you wordlessly sat down, allowing him to push you in closer to the table. in a moment there’s a plate of delicious, hot food placed in front of you and when simon sits across from you, he digs into his meal the room stays quiet for a few long moments, only the sounds of your cutlery filling the room.

“getting along well with the secretary?” his tone is casual, but the question itself makes your ears perk up. even though you two have barely spoken these past few says, you’ve been waiting for more hurtful words to come out of him. you braced yourself for this conversation to get quickly derailed by his jealousy and anger. 

you try to keep your voice light and even as you respond, “we got all the details of the trip finalized.” you wouldn’t bore him with all the details tonight, that would be a job for his secretary in the days leading up to the trip.

he makes an inquisitive noise, “you know, it’s interesting, the way he looks at you and the way he talks about you.”

you stop, your fork held in the air, before bringing it back down to your plate, pondering his words. you weren’t sure what he could be referring to but you knew he would tell you whether or not you even asked. “what do you mean, your highness?”

he doesn’t respond for a moment and you just continue to look at your plate, pushing food around with your fork, until you feel something nudge your foot. it makes you look up at him, attention held by his dark gaze. “he looks at you with rapt attention, hanging on your every word, and then he goes on to ruin it by claiming you’re just something to borrow.” he scoffs, “you don’t borrow people, especially not you.”

simon was very interesting at times. indirectly talking about his feelings because he never learned how to state them outright. you knew him, you always knew what he was trying to say. but you were no longer going to sit and just infer about his feelings anymore, you needed to hear them.

“wouldn’t be the first time one of your men showed me disrespect.” you quipped. the sting of the mens’ harsh words had dissipated over the years, you had come to terms that they would never see you as a part of simon’s court. it didn’t really matter to you, knowing that you would always be significantly closer to the king than any of them could even dream to be. but it still irritated you, knowing that simon thought of himself as your savior, your protector, and yet he wouldn’t send away any of the rude men that served under him. would only bark at them before they muttered a fearful apology and then allow them to continue on with their duties. 

“you’re right,” he sets down his cutlery, giving you his full attention. “and i will rectify that as soon as we come back from our travels.”

now you roll your eyes, having a hard time taking in his sincerity. too little, too late, you think to yourself. “and what will that entail?”

he picks up his fork again, “when we get back i'll dismiss all of my court and fill only the roles that are absolutely necessary. that will mostly be for appearances, we both know it just takes the two of us to run the kingdom.”

just takes the two of us to run the kingdom. maybe that would be true in another life. in a life where simon would claim you as his own. 

“that’s no solution to this simon, that’s not what i want.” you push back. 

he raises his hands in disbelief, “what could you possibly want then, if not that, then what?”

“i want us to talk about the real issue here!” you spit back, anger bubbling over. “you know that the past few days have been awkward not because of your fucking court, or because of anyone else, it’s because i asked you to finally decide what you wanted out of me.”

“what i wanted out of you?” he repeats, incredulous, “what i want doesn’t matter, because all i’ve ever wanted is what you wanted.”

tears spring to your eyes, fear and anger mixing up inside of you as you get the courage to speak, “i want love, simon, i want companionship. and you feel for me as strongly as i feel for you, but i want to know it, i want to hear it. i need to know that you choose me over-”

“i do, it’s you! it’s always been you,” he pleads. 

“then prove it.” you challenge, mustering up all the conviction you can. 

#gator.writing #simon ghost riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #ghost headcanons #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #king simon

[chiriwritesstuff]

The Girl in IT- 8. The Panic! in the Breakroom (Christine's Version)

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: M

Chapter Summary: Joel and Sugar spend some time apart and have serious conversations about their relationship's future. Everything is about to change...

Chapter Warnings and Tags: No outbreak AU, Boss x Employee Relationship, Sugar Daddy Lite, Reckless Driving, Talks about Periods and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and all of the shitty things that could happen with it including blood loss, miscarriage, and painful pregnancies, Someone gets punched (it's Joel, he gets socked in the face), Sugar takes a backseat as chaos ensues, Badass Ellie Miller, Ellie is going through it, Joel is going through it, Sugar's going through it!, Badass Survivalist Bill to the rescue, There is no smut in this chapter (like at all), no beta we die like men!

Word Count: 8.2 K

A/N: Here it is, the first chapter of my big rework, as I mentioned in this post. If you've read the original posting of this chapter, you know it ended with a surprise pregnancy and a proposal. As much as I know many of you enjoyed that outcome, it was also a departure from my true intentions for Sugar and Joel's relationship timeline, which set off a chain reaction for this story. I was afraid of alienating my readers- I thought by avoiding a darker or more heartbreaking storyline, I wouldn't upset anyone and felt like giving a happy ending to this chapter was the right move. Upon reflection, I started to regret it. Trying to censor myself out of fear of losing readers and not staying true to myself is not the way to go, and I've learned from this lesson.

There is a massive plot change in this chapter. Most of the story is the same, but I have included several pivotal moments with Joel and Sugar that will change the tone of the rest of the series. I do promise that we will be getting our happy ending, just at a different pace. This chapter does have some triggering moments, so please read the tags before reading. I also want to note that chapters 9 and 10 will be completely rewritten. I have set those chapters to private as I continue to rework them, and I hope to get those chapters out promptly before we dive into 'My Wife in IT'. Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. I really do appreciate it.

"The conference should only be a few days, baby," Joel reassures you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the walk-in closet to grab a flannel.

As he starts getting dressed, he catches your lingering gaze and teases, "See something you like, baby?" A mischievous smirk plays on his lips as he zips up his jeans.

Unable to resist, you slide out of bed and join him. Wrapping your arms around him from behind, you pout and playfully protest, "Do you really need to go, though?" You reach around him to button up his shirt, meeting his gaze in the mirror. "The bed will feel so empty without you... and it's kind of weird being here alone."

"Well, with Ellie being in the house I bet you'll hardly feel alone, hell, I can just see her attached to your hip the whole time," Joel replies, spinning around and pulling you into the warmth of his broad chest, kissing the top of your head. "You won't even notice I'm gone when she's around, she'll keep you on your toes plenty."

"Have you spent time with Ellie lately? You know anything could happen when she's around."

Joel smirks, "You've got a point there. I still need to fix the oven from her latest kitchen mishap. But hey, don't stress. If you bring Sir Bubbles along, she'll be entertained for days. It's like she's more attached to him than she is to both of us combined."

"But do you have to go, Joel?" you protest once more, "I'm sure Tommy can handle things; he's a big boy."

Joel raises an intrigued eyebrow. "Bigger than me, Mami?" he murmurs, giving you a little pout.  

"No one is bigger than you, Papi," you tease, giving him a wink. Gazing up at the ceiling, a sudden wave of unease twists your expression. You find yourself clutching at your middle, groaning slightly in pain.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Joel is suddenly at your side, his face etched with concern. He pushes your hair out of your face, giving you a small smile.  

"I don't want to call it, but I think my period is coming," you reply sadly. 

"You would think with all of the times we've tried to get pregnant, surely it would take," you sigh, frowning as you stare at the ceiling, not wanting to face Joel and his disappointment. "I'm sorry, Papi."

"Why are you apologizing to me, Sugar? We have all the time in the world! Besides, I'm loving all of the attempts," he wiggles his eyebrows, pressing a kiss on your forehead. I'm more concerned about your health than anything else, okay?"

"Okay. I'm just worried because we're not getting any younger, and I don't think your knees can handle chasing a toddler," You tease, pulling him into a slow and languid kiss.  

"I'll have you know, all of this sex we've been having has given me a new lease on life, I haven't worked out so much in my damn life! I'm in my prime, baby." Joel runs a hand through his hair as he walks over to the bedroom door, scanning the hallway for Ellie. He turns back to look at you on the bed. "Promise me you'll see a doctor if you get any worse?"

"I can't make any promises-"

"Sugar, I'm serious. If you start to get worse, you call Ellie and have her take you to the doctor. I mean it, baby. Please. Just put my mind at ease, okay?"  

"Okay."

"Ellie!" Joel's voice echoes down the hallway. "Come here for a second!"

"Yeah?" Ellie pops her head out of her bedroom door. "Are you heading out now?" She strolls out, securing her hair into a ponytail as she settles beside you on Joel's bed. "Hey, why don't we swing by your place after the old man leaves to pick up my buddy? I can't wait for Sir Bubbles to see his new cat jungle!"

You flinch slightly, adjusting into a seated position next to Ellie. "Sure thing. We can grab some lunch on the way, too."

Joel clears his throat, retrieving something from his dresser and handing it to you with a smile. "I've been meaning to give this to you sooner, but since I'm leaving for a few days-"

You open the envelope he hands you, eyes widening at the realization that he's giving you an American Express card that matches his, your name etched onto the metal surface. "Woah, Joel, I don't think this is necessary-"

"If you're going to be spending time under this roof while I'm gone, I don't want you using your own money for things like groceries and necessities, especially if it's for you and Ellie. Use this card while I'm away; go to the mall and go wild," he glances at Ellie, who grins conspiratorially. "But no more guitars, Ellie. Not after the last time."

"How was I supposed to know the guitar was $10,000? The one in your office is twice the amount, I swear!" Ellie groans, knocking her shoulder against yours. "I'm sure Sugar will keep me in check, you have nothing to worry about, old man!"

"Hey, are you ready yet, asshole?" Tommy's voice suddenly booms from the front door. "We needed to head to Waco ten minutes ago!" he exclaims.

Joel sticks his head out of his bedroom door. "Yeah, just give me a damn second!" Grabbing his weekender duffle, he presses a kiss on your cheek. "Okay baby, I need to go. I'll see you in two days, okay?"

"Okay," you reply with a smile, pulling him into a kiss. "... and don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen to me, okay? Promise."

"Reservation for Miller," Joel tells the hotel receptionist, retrieving his wallet from his back pocket to produce his Amex. "It should be under Joel Miller."

"Welcome back Mr. Miller!" The receptionist beams, tapping away at her computer. "Let me just pull up your reservation. Give me a moment... Ah, yes, reservation for Joel Miller, one room, two keys."

"Wait, hold on," Tommy interjects, nudging Joel aside. "What do you mean one room?"

"The reservation for Miller only indicates one room," the receptionist replies with a sweet smile, her head cocked to one side.

"Well, there must be some mistake, miss." Joel's brows furrow with concern.

The receptionist glances at the screen, her brow furrowing slightly. "I apologize for any confusion, but that's how it's listed in our system. One room, two keys for Mr. Joel Miller."

Tommy exchanges a perplexed look with Joel, a touch of frustration evident. "Look, we need two separate rooms. Must've been a mix-up. Can you check again or maybe offer us an additional room?"

The receptionist hesitates for a moment before typing away on her keyboard. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Let me see if there's anything available." After a brief pause, she looks up. "I'm afraid we're fully booked tonight, with the conference and all, and the reservation is for a single room. Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

"Please tell me there's at least a cot or a pull-out couch in the room," Tommy groans, shaking his head.

The Receptionist hesitates, giggling awkwardly. "Well, there's a king-size bed? I guess it's pretty spacious?" 

Joel and Tommy exchange glances, silently communicating their dissatisfaction with the situation. "Alright, fine," Joel concedes with a sigh. "We'll make do with what we have. But this better not become a habit."

The receptionist offers an apologetic smile. "I assure you, Mr. Miller, we'll do our best to make your stay enjoyable. If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask."

Joel and Tommy head towards the elevator, resigned to share a room for the night. As they walk away, Joel mutters to Tommy, "We'll sort this out tomorrow. Let's just get some rest for now."

"I guess it'll be like old times, brother, sharing a room and all," Tommy grunts. "I swear, if you snuggle up with me or fart in the sheets, I'll punch you right in the balls."

"If my memory serves me right, weren't you the one sneaking into my bed when things got a bit dicey in the night?" Joel retorts, arching an eyebrow while casually checking his emails on his iPhone. "Oh, Joel, I'm so scared of the boogeyman, can I sleep with you tonight?!" he imitates in an attempt at a childish voice, smirking.  

"It's really gonna be like that, huh? You're gonna play that card? What about that time after we watched 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'? Weren't you begging Mama to let you sleep in her bed, thinking Freddy's gonna suck you up from your bed like Johnny Depp? Am I gonna wake up to you screaming?"

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Tommy, you ass-" The elevator dings to their floor, a family staring back at them. Tommy clears his throat, navigating around the family, shooting Joel a look as he heads to the room. "Evenin'," Joel murmurs, tipping his head to the family. "Excuse me."

Tommy is already in the room by the time Joel casually strolls in, rummaging through the welcome basket the conference organizers had prepared for Joel. "Well, it's nice of you to grace us with your presence, 'Mr. Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year 2023,'" he teases, extracting a bottle of Johnny Walker. "At least they give you the decent shit." Taking a swig straight from the bottle, he hands it over to Joel.

"Nah, I'm not drinking tonight," Joel murmurs, dropping his weekender unceremoniously on the floor as he plops onto the bed, pinching the space between his eyebrows. "I want to stay sober just in case Sugar calls me."

Tommy takes another swig, settling on the couch beside the window with a view of the city of Waco. "I noticed that she was looking a bit pale. Something going on?"

"She told me that she's about to start her period, I'm assuming that they can be quite an ordeal," Joel muses, glancing at his phone screen displaying a photo of you and him at your birthday dinner. A smile creeps across his face as he observes the image, capturing the moment when you kissed his cheek while he smiled at the camera. "I just have a really weird feeling like something's wrong," he groans, stretching his back onto the mattress.

"Well, Sugar's a big girl; I'm sure she'll be okay. Hell, I know how periods go, with Maria and all. Maybe I'll have her check in just in case." Tommy looks out of the window. "This is nice, you know. The two of us. Feels like it's been ages since we've done something like this."

"That's because the last time we were like this, it was your bachelor weekend in Vegas, and you ditched me and fucked off on some strip club crawl with your friends," Joel chides. "Then you had the fucking audacity to crawl into my bed, only to throw up on me in the middle of the night."

"I told you I was sorry! Shit, you could have come out with us, but you were still hung up on Sugar, even then. I don't know if that girl knows just how much you've loved her all these years."

"All that matters is she knows how much I love her now. Besides, I think it's only a matter of time before I ask her to marry me," Joel muses, revealing a ring from his jeans pocket.

Tommy's eyes widen at the sight of the diamond ring, whistling. "Shit, Joel, you're serious. How many carats is that puppy?"

"Just about 2 carats. Do you think she'll like it?" Joel asks nervously.

"I think she would say yes even without that rock; the girl's been crazy about you."

"I'm scared shitless, to be honest," Joel murmurs. "Never would have thought I would be put in this situation again, getting married and all... wondering if it's the right thing to do since my first marriage crashed and burned."

"Well, it's not like you married for love the first time around," Tommy muses, taking another swig.

"Now I have a second lease on life, time to get married for real. For love, this time."

"So, you get the girl, you ask her to marry you. But what about after that?" Tommy asks, taking another swig of Jimmy Bean. "... are you guys planning on having any kids? Do you want any more kids? You're not getting any younger, brother. Surely you don't want to be chasing some toddler when you're pushing 60-"

"I mean, we talked about the prospect of having kids, Sugar's only 36. I'm not gonna deny her of something she may want because I'm older than her." Joel responds with a heavy sigh. "Truthfully, I would give her anything she wanted, no questions asked... but sometimes I think to myself, what about our kids? I don't want to die before they become adults, you know?"

"... but is kids something that she wants? Sugar's a beautiful woman, surely if she wanted a family, she would have already gotten one, you know?" Tommy muses, chuckling to himself. "Maybe she would have gotten her head out of her ass sooner and sought you out beforehand."

"What are you trying to say, Tommy?"

"I'm saying, maybe before you ask her to marry you, you both have all of your cards on the table, brother."

"What if she wants kids, though? What if she wants a family, and I'm too old to give it to her? I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her. Not when I've just gotten her. I didn't work hard for these last ten years only for me to lose the girl because I can't give her what she wants."

"I have a feeling you don't have to worry about losing her, Joel. I do think that you should talk to her, at least."

Joel nods, a knot forming in his stomach as he contemplates Tommy's words. "Yeah, you're right. I need to have an honest conversation with Sugar about this. I owe her that much."

Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. "She loves you, man. Just be open and honest with her, and I'm sure you two will figure it out together."

"Yeah, I hope so," Joel murmurs, a mixture of determination and anxiety swirling within him.

"So, what's the plan for dinner tonight?" Ellie asks, idly toying with Sir Bubbles by the towering cat tree in the family room. "I was thinking of whipping up some homemade Hot Pockets. I saw Sam snacking on them the other day, and they smelled divine!"

"You know, Ellie, you could just buy them at Randalls for $2 instead of going through the trouble of making them."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" She grabs her phone, tapping away at Safari. "I found a great recipe that seems easy enough! Why don't we head to Randalls and grab the ingredients I need?"

"The whole beauty of Hot Pockets is the convenience," you groan, shifting on the sofa while flipping through channels. You wince as you manage to sit up. "You're not one to do things half-assed, are you?"

"I'm a Miller; we don't do things halfway. We must embrace chaos in all its glory, you know?" She glances at you from the corner of her eye, frowning at your pained form. "Are you sure you're okay? You look really uncomfortable sitting there."

You offer her a small smile through the discomfort. "Yeah, I'm just fine. It's that time of the month for me, always a bit uncomfortable."

Ellie nods in agreement. "Yeah, I hate it when I have my period. The cramps, especially! How do you deal with it? Midol?"

"Well, I have a condition that makes periods hell for me," you admit. 

"PCOS is a beast I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's like period symptoms on steroids, honestly. Bad cramps, nausea, heavy period flow, the whole nine yards and then some."

Ellie frowns at that. "How long have you had PCOS?"

"Since my mid-twenties?" you muse, scrolling through your phone. "It's been a while, that's for sure."

"Bullshit! That's like a decade! How can you deal with such painful periods like that every month? I would be yelling at the doctors to rip my uterus out!" Ellie pets Sir Bubbles, her face deep in thought. "I heard that women who have PCOS have a hard time conceiving. Is that why you haven't had any kids yet?"

You snort. "Yeah, well, I haven't been trying to have kids, either."

"But I bet it's different now that you're with Joel, huh? I bet he's been wanting to knock you up since you agreed to be with him," she smirks. "I mean, for someone who built his own house, you'd think he would insulate the walls a little more, make it more soundproof-"

"Ellie-" you grit through your teeth, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"What? I know it's just human nature to want to be intimate with your partner-"

"Ellie, deciding to have kids is a big step in any relationship. It's something that changes your life forever."

"...and is that something you want, Sugar? To have kids?"

"I don't know what I want, really," you respond truthfully, shrugging. "I never really allowed myself to think about the future like this before, and now that I'm with Joel... it's making me question whether or not I would be a good mother. I... I didn't grow up in the most nurturing home when I was a kid, but I do remember promising myself that if I were to have any kids, I wouldn't raise them the way my parents did."

"That's understandable," Ellie quips thoughtfully, settling herself into the couch as she faces you. "I don't think I would ever want kids. It seems so freaking scary and overwhelming; I can't fathom the kind of pressure you're feeling about it. Have you talked to Joel about this?"

"We've talked about it," you admit, the weight of uncertainty evident in your voice. "I don't know if he wants kids, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, you know? I'm scared of disappointing him. What if he sees it as a deal-breaker?"

Ellie nods sympathetically, her demeanor softening. "I get it, Sugar. It's a tough spot to be in. But Joel loves you for you, not for whether you want kids or not. And if he's the right guy, he'll understand your concerns and respect your feelings. Joel's a lot, but I know that this man would do anything for you. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Trust me, I live with the guy."

You exhale slowly, feeling a bit lighter with Ellie's reassurance. "Thanks, Ellie. I guess I need to talk to Joel and figure things out."

"Exactly," Ellie responds with a hopeful smile. "Communication is key. Just be honest with him, and who knows? Maybe you two can find a way through this together."

"You know, you're pretty wise for a little shit, but I do appreciate the words of wisdom, Ellie Bellie. Maybe you're not so bad after all," you tease, a chuckle escaping your lips. "Thanks for the armchair therapy. Should we get a move on to buy the ingredients for these hot pockets of yours?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ellie sighs. "We might as well head to Target, so we can get some Midol too. Grab your key; I'm driving! Can't have you navigating these streets in your condition. Plus, I've been meaning to take the Tessie out on a joyride!"

The next morning, you wake up to find blood on the sheets. Panic grips you as a sharp, stabbing pain surges through your lower body, causing you to double over in agony. You suppress tears as you carefully slip out of Joel's bed, realizing that your flow was so heavy it soaked through to the mattress. Gathering the sheets, you remove your stained pajamas and underwear, wrapping yourself in a towel to avoid waking Ellie down the hall.

On tiptoes, you make your way to the laundry room, groaning with each step. After depositing the soiled linens and clothes into the wash, you hobble back to Joel's bedroom. Sighing, you enter the bathroom and draw a hot bath. Glancing at your phone, it's 5:34 am. You meet your reflection in the mirror, eyes widening at the sight—your skin is pale and clammy. Quickly splashing water on your face, you try to shake off the discomfort.

You recall your recent FaceTime with Joel. You remember the sadness and concern in his eyes as he saw your pain. It's not like any period you've experienced before.

"Baby, I really think you should go to the ER," he pleads. "Wake Ellie up, have her take you-"

"It's just my period, Joel," you assure him, smiling through the pain to ease his worry. "Sometimes they get really bad, maybe this time is one of those times."

"I just wish you wouldn't be so stubborn, Mami. This is really concerning, maybe I should drive back-"

"I just think I should sleep it off. If it's not any better, I'll go to the hospital, okay? Sleep makes everything better," you promise, knowing your stubbornness may hold true. It's not new to you, but how is Joel to know?

"I wish I could keep you on FaceTime all night, just to make sure you're okay, but I don't want to keep you up with all of Tommy's snoring-"

"I'll be fine, baby, don't worry. You have a big day tomorrow, Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year," you tease, hoping to divert the conversation. "I love you so much, Papi. I wish you were here with me."

"I wish I was too, baby," Joel smiles. "Call me tomorrow? And please, if it doesn't get any better-"

"... I'll go straight to the doctor. I promise."

"Hey, Sugar, you don't look too hot."

"I'm fine, Ellie. Just a little headache," you assure her, managing a weak smile while holding up your Owala water bottle. "Probably just dehydrated, nothing a little water can't fix. I also got my period last night, and it always gives me problems. It's just a bit heavier than usual."

Ellie eyes you with concern. "Maybe it's time we get it checked out. Joel did say-"

"I know, Ellie, but I'm already behind on my reports, and Tess will flip if I don't finish them by the end of the day. I'll tough it out. If it gets worse, I promise I'll get myself checked out. I'll even let you drive me there, okay? Let's just keep this between us for now. I wouldn't want to bother Joel by being a baby about period cramps."

"Well, could you at least try to eat something? I swear the last time I saw you eat was yesterday. Joel's gonna kill me if something happens to you, and I really don't need that kind of stress right now. Not before the apprentice exam," Ellie urges, sliding her glass container into the microwave. "Besides, you can try out the Hot Pockets we made last night!"

"Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? I'm the adult in this equation; I should be looking over you, not the other way around," you chuckle. "What would Joel say if he saw us right now?"

"He would give us his best frowny face and bridal carry you out of here, taking you to the doctor," she replies, taking the seat across from you. "I'm not lying when I tell you that you look sick as hell. You should be at home, resting! I'm really worried about you, Sugar. For real this time. You need to at least eat something so you don't pass out!"

She places one of her creations on a plate, presenting it in front of you with a flourish as she begins to devour her own, inhaling it in a few bites. "Damn, that was good," she exclaims to herself, leaning back in her chair, taking a sip of her Baja Blast. "Come on, Sugar," she pleads, "Eat!"

You take a deep breath as you eye the hot pocket, your stomach churning at the overwhelming smell. With a hesitant smile, you lift it off your plate, taking a small, careful bite to avoid offending Ellie. "Mmm," you say softly, placing it back onto your plate. "You really outdid yourself this time, Ellie!" you commend, pushing the plate away. However, the effort to conceal your discomfort becomes futile as your head starts to spin when you attempt to stand.

Ellie's eyes widen as she quickly rises from her seat. "Sugar-"

"Ellie, I'll be right-"

Before you can reach the door, everything turns black.

"Sugar!" Ellie screams, dropping to her knees as she attempts to lift you, panic evident in her voice. "Somebody, help!"

Bill bursts through the door in an instant, his eyes wild as he assesses the situation. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" Ellie exclaims, cradling your head in her lap as tears stream down her face. "She wasn't looking too good, so I gave her a hot pocket, and she took one bite and fainted! What am I going to do? Joel's going to freak!"

"Bill?" Frank calls out as he enters the breakroom. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Frank," he says calmly, "Call 911. Tell them that someone passed out." He turns his attention back to Ellie, his eyes focused. "Ellie, do you know if she hit her head?" Ellie is frozen in place, her breathing erratic, the weight of the situation settling in.

"Ellie!" Bill shouts, trying to maintain control. "Focus! Did she hit her head or not?"

"I don't know!" she says shakily, her hands trembling. "Everything happened so fast!"

"Bill," Frank says uneasily, "She's bleeding," he points to your lower body, his eyes widening in fear. "It's a lot of blood, fuck, is she... what if-"

"Fuck this!" Bill mutters, urgency in his voice as he picks up your limp body. "Frank, get the van, we need to go to the hospital, NOW." He looks over at Ellie, who is crying uncontrollably. "Ellie, call Joel."

"But Sugar begged me not to call Joel-"

"Joel won't forgive you if you keep him in the dark. Get him on the phone, NOW," he commands, darting towards the door behind Frank. "... and pick up the pace! You're coming with us!"

Ellie grabs her phone from her back pocket, her hands shaking as she scrambles to call Joel. She curses as it goes straight to voicemail. "He's not answering! It's going straight to voicemail-"

"THEN CALL TOMMY, ELLIE!" he shouts as Frank parks near the entrance, engine still running. He hurries out of the driver's seat, opening the back door. "Ellie, sit here! I need you to elevate her head!" 

Ellie jumps into the car, phone in hand. Bill gently places you in the van, positioning your head across Ellie's lap. "Keep it elevated, okay?" Ellie nods, looking at you with concern. "Do you think she's going to be okay?" she whispers, placing a hand on your cheek. "This is all my fault-"

"Ellie," Bill says, heading toward the driver's seat. "This is not the time for that," he steps on the gas, swerving to avoid an oncoming vehicle. "Put Tommy on the phone, now!"

Ellie fumbles with her phone, quickly dialing Tommy's number. As the line rings, Bill navigates the van through the chaotic streets, tension thick in the air.

"Come on, Tommy, pick up," Ellie mutters anxiously, glancing at you still cradled in her lap. After a few tense moments, Tommy's voice crackles through the phone.  

"Ellie? What's happening?"

"It's Sugar. We're on our way to the hospital. Something's wrong," Ellie replies, her voice shaky. "I tried to call Joel but it's going straight to voicemail! Could you put him on the line? Please!"

"Shit, Ellie-" Tommy stammers, "He's about to go on stage-"

"What's going on?" Joel notices Tommy's unease. "Who is it?"

Tommy hesitates as he puts the phone on speaker. "It's Ellie, something's happened at the office-"

"Joel? Dad?" Ellie cries, her voice quivering.

"Ellie? Baby girl, what's wrong?" Joel asks worriedly, peering out to the stage as the emcee begins. "Baby, what's going on?!"

"It's Sugar, something happened at lunch-" she sobs, looking down at your pale form.

Tommy's eyes widen as he witnesses Joel's demeanor change rapidly. "Ellie, what happened to Sugar?" he soothes, trying to get her to calm down through her sobs. "Come on baby, breathe-"

"She passed out at work! I know, she shouldn't have gone in, but she swore that she was fine! I tried to get her to eat something and she looked sick all of a sudden... and then she was on the ground, bleeding! It all happened so fast, I swear! I'm so sorry, Dad! It's all my fault!" she cries.

"Joel," Bill cuts in, honking as he narrowly misses a car he overtakes. "I'm heading over to Austin General, ETA 2 minutes. She's lost a lot of blood." He runs a red light, a barrage of horns erupting from the maneuver. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to get her there."

"You're driving her there? Why didn't you call 911?" Joel demands.

"They would have taken too long, Joel. Minutes we do not have. Trust me, I'll get her there faster than they could," Bill hesitates. "Joel, I think she's-" The line cuts off as Ellie's phone dies.  

"BILL? ELLIE??!" Joel screams into the phone frantically as he runs his hand through his hair. He tries to call Ellie back, only to be met with voicemail. "Fuck!" he shouts, trying to call Bill. "Why aren't they answering?"

"Joel, you're gonna have to tell me what the fuck is going on-"

"Sugar collapsed at work. They're on their way to Austin General now. Grab your shit, we're leaving."

[and it's with my great pleasure to introduce you to our keynote speaker and Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year, Joel Miller!]

"Okay Mr. Miller," the assistant interrupts, hand on his earpiece. "You're up!"

"I have a family emergency, I need to leave," Joel replies, attempting to make a quick exit.

"No can do, Mr. Miller; it's your turn!" The assistant insists, pushing Joel towards the door.

"Are you deaf?!" Joel shouts, forcefully removing the assistant's hands from him. "I already told you, my wife is being taken to the hospital right now-"

"Just get on stage, say your piece for five minutes, and then you can go straight to the hospital," the assistant insists, shoving Joel towards the door, unfazed.

Joel's frustration boils over, and he shoves the assistant back, his anger reaching its peak. "Listen, I don't give a damn about your schedule! My wife needs me, and I'm not wasting another second here!"

The assistant, angered by Joel's defiance, clenches his fists. "You're not going anywhere until you fulfill your obligations. This is important!"

"Joel, we don't have time for this!" Tommy grits, glaring at the assistant. "If we leave now, we can miss the rush on 1-35."

The assistant grabs Joel's forearm, pulling him as he makes his way towards the door that leads to the stage. "You're getting on that stage, give your fucking speech, and then you can fuck off and get to your little wife-"

Joel pulls himself out of his grasp. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't put your hands on me!"  

The man glares at Joel. "Look asshole, we fucking paid for you to come here, and you're not going to make some half-assed excuse about your sick wife-"

Joel's patience snaps, and he throws a punch, hitting the guy square in the face. "Don't talk about my wife like that!"

"Fuck! You broke my fucking nose!" he shouts, tackling Joel to the ground. He manages to land one good punch before Tommy intervenes, pulling the man off of him and shoving him to the ground. "What the fuck is your problem, man?" he yells as he tries to get up.  

"Joel, are you okay? Come on, let's get the fuck out of here before they call someone!" Tommy hoists Joel onto his feet, his lip split and a bruise forming on his cheek. They run towards the parking garage, Tommy throwing his keys at Joel as they jump in, peeling out of the parking stall. At the corner of Joel's eyes, he sees security guards running along the lot, searching for them.  

"Stop!" one of the guards yells, trying to block the truck at the exit. Joel swerves around, narrowly avoiding the guard as they pass the parking attendant booth. He hits the gas, driving through the parking arms, pieces flying over the dashboard as they merge onto the main road. "Joel, think they'll chase us?" Tommy asks, the tension thick as they speed away. "I don't think Maria will appreciate watching us on a high-speed chase on the evening news-"

"Shut the fuck up, Tommy!" Joel cuts him off, navigating towards the freeway out of Waco, heading to Austin. "Just let me fucking concentrate on the road!"

"Slow down, Joel! Dying on the way there won't help anyone!" Tommy yells as Joel narrowly avoids a car while speeding down the freeway. Fortunately, no police cars are chasing them as they make their way towards Austin. "I can't believe that guy wanted to fight you, and you just started throwing punches!"

"Tommy, not now," Joel grits his teeth, gripping the wheel tightly. "I knew I should've stayed home. If I were there, then-"

Tommy's phone rings, displaying Sarah's face on the screen. He answers the Facetime call, and Sarah's concerned face fills the screen. "Where are you guys?" she asks nervously. "Ellie's phone died, but the hospital just called asking for information. You're her emergency contact, Dad."

"Do you know what's going on?" Joel inquires as he navigates down the freeway. "I don't have my phone, but we're on I-35 right now, should be there in about 30 minutes."

"They can't release any information because we're not family," she says hesitantly. "I'm legally supposed to call her parents, but-"

"You can't call them, Baby. She wouldn't want them there. Tell them she's my wife, and I'm on my way," Joel insists.

"Dad, I don't think we should lie about that-" Sarah expresses her concern.

"I'm all she has, baby. I can't be kept in the dark. Were you there when it happened?"

"No, but Dad, she was bleeding. There was a lot of blood-"

"Damn it!" Joel slams his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes wide as he overtakes a few cars, stepping on the gas. "I should've followed my gut and stayed home. She was already in pain when I left yesterday!"

"Well, speeding down the freeway isn't helping, Dad!" Sarah shouts through the phone. "We're all concerned for Sugar, not just you. I sent Tess to the hospital to bring chargers and Bill and Frank's phones. I need you to relax; it's not going to help her if you two get into an accident!"

"I can't help it, baby girl. I love her, and it's hard to think straight. All I'm thinking about is how scared I am. I can't lose her. I've already known how it feels losing her all these years; I don't think I can survive a second time."

"I know, Dad," Sarah replies. "Just get to her in one piece, okay? I'll let you know if I hear anything back."

"What do you mean I can't go in with her?" Ellie groans, attempting to keep pace with the gurney as they rush you down the hallway towards a room, with Bill and Frank following behind.

The doctor raises an eyebrow at her. "Are you her family?"

"She's my sister!" Ellie asserts. "I was adopted by her family!"

"Doctor," the nurse interjects urgently. "She's lost a lot of blood; she's going to need a transfusion... she might be in the middle of a hemorrhage-"

"If you know she needs a transfusion, then what are you waiting for?"

"The patient has O Negative, and we don't have any on hand-"

"I have O Negative!" Ellie tells the nurse, showing her wrist. "I found out my blood type after an accident as a kid. Take it from me, please!"

The doctor eyes Ellie warily. "... and you're sure she's your sister?"

"Not by blood, but by heart. Please, doctor. She's important to me, and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat," Ellie pleads.

The doctor sighs, nodding his head in agreement. "Fine, if you say that she's your sister, then I'll just take your word for it. Nurse, prep her for a blood draw. She's a match."

"Hey! You can't park here!" The hospital security guard shouts as Joel and Tommy hastily exit the car, leaving it right outside the ER. Joel sprints through the hospital, Tommy trailing behind him. He reaches the receptionist's stand, his chest heaving. "Where is she? Where is my wife?!" he demands, attempting to jump over the partition, with Tommy trying to hold him back.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down," the receptionist replies, glaring at both of them. "I'm going to need a name."

Joel hesitates but states your first name, adding 'Miller' as your last. Tommy shoots him a look, signaling the obvious lie, but Joel gives him a warning glare. The receptionist's eyes narrow at Joel. "She was just brought in 20 minutes ago. She's currently under observation but will be put in a room soon. Should be room 203. You can wait for her if you'd like."

Joel breathes a sigh of relief. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I don't, but the attending Doctor should be with her. He could answer any of your questions," she hands him a clipboard. "I'm going to need you to fill this out for me with her information, and then you can head down the hall and take a left. Her room should be a few doors down that corridor." She assesses his disheveled state. "Sir, are you needing assistance as well?"

"I'm fine," Joel dismisses her as he fills out the form. He takes out his Amex and hands it to the receptionist. "I don't have her insurance card, but please put all charges on this card."

The receptionist's eyes widen at the color of his Amex. "Certainly, sir."

Joel strides down the hallway towards room 203, catching a glimpse of Ellie in the room adjacent to yours, a nurse tending to her bandaged wrist. His heart lurches at the sight, but he pushes the worry aside for the moment. As he approaches your room, he sees Bill and Frank sitting on a nearby bench, their expressions heavy with concern. Frank rests his head on Bill's shoulder, a distant sadness clouding his eyes.

"Bill!" Joel's voice echoes in the hallway. "Thank you for bringing her here!" He notices their somber demeanor and furrows his brow. "What happened-"

Bill hesitates, his gaze flickering with reluctance. "Joel, I think it's best if you go inside and talk to the doctor," he suggests softly, his voice strained with emotion. "He'll be able to explain everything to you." He offers a weak smile, though it fails to mask the worry etched on his face. "Frank and I are gonna head back to the office, alright?"

"Yeah," Joel stammers, nodding. "Thanks again, Bill... for everything."

"Anytime, Joel," Bill responds, his eyes watery. "Take care of her, okay? She's gonna need you."

Joel's stomach churns with apprehension, but he nods in understanding. With a final glance at Bill and Frank, he takes a deep breath and steps into your room, steeling himself for whatever news awaits him. He nods as he walks into your hospital room, audibly gasping at the sight of you, unconscious. A doctor is tending to you, engaged in conversation with a nurse. He turns around at the sound of the gasp.

"Mr. Miller, I presume?"

"What's going on with her, Doc?" Joel asks, his face reflecting a mix of worry and tears.

The doctor eyes Joel silently, a heavy sigh escaping from his chest.  

"Why are you not telling me anything? She's my wife-"

The doctor, catching on to Joel's distress, gives a serious look. "Mr. Miller, let's maintain a level of seriousness here."

"But she's practically my wife! I'd give my life for her, you understand? Please, man to man, wouldn't you do the same for someone you love?" he pleads, Tommy, looking away from his brother to keep himself from breaking down.  

The doctor, unyielding, emphasizes, "We have legal protocols to safeguard those who can't speak for themselves. I can't divulge information to just anyone; there are procedures that must be followed for the well-being of the patient."

"Well, what can you tell me, then?" Joel's voice wavers as he pleads with the doctor. "I'm in the dark here, doctor. Please," Joel begs. "Just give me something. Tell me she's going to be okay."

The doctor takes a deep breath before delivering the news, "She was pregnant, Mr. Miller. She has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and is anemic. Due to significant blood loss, we had to perform a blood transfusion. Luckily, someone who accompanied her was a match."

Joel's heart sinks as the words hit him like a ton of bricks. "Was? So, Sugar and the baby... Are they okay?"

The doctor's demeanor shifts, his eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and gravity. "Mr. Miller," he begins cautiously, "Sugar lost a lot of blood during the procedure. She was suffering from a hemorrhage and was going into shock. I did everything in my power to save them both, but... I'm sorry, Mr. Miller. The baby didn't make it. Sugar almost didn't make it out herself. Without that blood transfusion-" He trails off, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air.  

"Ellie..." Joel whispers, realization dawning on him as he connects the dots. "That's why she's bandaged up?"

The doctor leans in, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. "Yes," he confirms, his tone somber. "What we did was highly unethical and illegal. I don't appreciate being lied to, but your daughter's quick thinking saved Sugar's life. Despite the miscarriage, Ellie's actions kept Sugar alive. It was incredibly brave of her. I'm willing to keep this between us if any issues arise. Sugar is still with us because of her. That girl has nerves of steel," he chuckles softly, his gaze distant with memories. "Reminds me of my daughter. Us fathers need to stick together, right?"

Joel nods, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on you lying on the hospital bed. "I knew something was wrong... I should have stayed back. I can't imagine the pain she must have been in-"

"Unfortunately, this is highly common for women with her condition," the doctor interjects, his tone gentle yet matter-of-fact. "As much as we can dwell on the what-ifs, most times the baby won't make it past the first trimester. It does give us a little hope that she was able to conceive to begin with. Have you two been trying long?"

Joel's shoulders sag slightly at the doctor's words, a mixture of grief and understanding washing over him. "We've spoken about it, but only decided to try recently," he admits, his voice tinged with sadness. "But we never imagined it would end like this."

The doctor offers a sympathetic nod, his expression reflecting empathy. "I'm sorry for your loss, Joel. Losing a child is never easy, but please know that you're not alone in this. If either of you need support or someone to talk to, we have resources available. I want to have Sugar spend a day or two here, just to make sure her blood count gets back to normal. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to, okay? I'll make sure of it."

Joel manages a faint smile, grateful for the doctor's compassion. "Thank you," he murmurs, his gaze drifting back to you, his heart heavy with sorrow yet filled with love and determination. 

The doctor nods, glancing at Joel's disheveled appearance and the split lip. "I can get someone to fix that for you if you'd like. Waking up to see you like this might frighten Sugar. You must have been through hell to get here."

"Pretty much," Tommy says sadly, his eyes filled with tears. "Thank you for saving Sugar, doc. We really owe you one."

The doctor nods. "Yeah, well, thank your little girl; she's the real hero today." He gestures behind Tommy and Joel. Ellie stands at the doorway, nervously fiddling with the bandage on her wrist. Giving Joel one last nod, the doctor makes his way to the door, giving Ellie a comforting pat on her shoulder as he walks away. Joel turns his attention back to Ellie, a sad look on his face as he tries not to lose his shit in front of his brother and his daughter.  

"Ellie-" he starts, his voice shaky. "Baby-"

"Oh, it was nothing, you know, just another day at the office," she casually says, downplaying herself. "Besides, she's family, and we do anything for family." 

"You're damn right we do," Tommy boasts, pulling Ellie into a side hug. "You saved the day, Girlie."

"You sure did," Joel cries, pulling her into a tight hug, his tears soaking into her hair. "You did so good, baby girl. Thank you, thank you, baby."

Ellie hugs Joel back, sobbing into his chest and clinging to his shirt. "I was so scared, Joel. It made me think about what happened with Marlene, and I just froze! If Bill didn't step in, I don't know what would have happened—"

"Ellie—"

"... and I told her that she should tell you. She looked so sick, so I told her that she needed to eat something, and I gave her a hot pocket—"

"A hot pocket?"

"Yeah, we made it last night, and even then, I knew something was up. She was always wincing and flinching in pain, told me that she was on her period—"

"Ellie. She was bleeding out, then. It—" Joel takes her face in his hands, his expression serious. "She was pregnant, baby girl. She has a condition that makes her bleed heavily. Fuck, she must have been in so much pain—"

"Wait," Ellie says, her eyes reflecting shock. "What do you mean, she was pregnant? Does this mean that she lost the baby?" she says solemnly, turning her attention to you. "Joel, I'm so sorry, maybe if I had been more stubborn and firm with her, maybe-"

"Ellie, trust me when I say that none of this was your fault, baby girl," Joel pulls her into his chest as she sobs, his hand soothing her back. "These things happen all the time with women that have the same condition as her. Honestly, I'm just happy that she had you to watch over her, you did everything perfectly, alright? No more tears, baby. Sugar's still here with us, and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay," Ellie murmurs into his chest. "Joel, what's going to happen now? are you going to tell her? We need to tell her, right?"  

"Why don't you head back to the office with Tommy and let me worry about that, alright?" Joel responds, sighing as he sits at the edge of your bed. "I think you've had too much excitement for one day, I can talk to her when she wakes up, okay? Don't worry."

Tommy places a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. "I'm really sorry, brother. If there's anything you both need, just let me know, okay?"

Joel nods. "Thanks, Tommy."

"Ready to go, Ellie?" Tommy asks, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "We better get moving before they tow my truck out front." Ellie nods as they both give you and Joel one last glance, making their way out of your hospital room.

"Let me know if you need me to bring you anything from home, alright?" Ellie tells Joel, giving him one last smile. "Take care of yourself. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Get some rest, okay?"

Joel looks back at them helplessly as a sob escapes his mouth. He buries his face in his hands, finally allowing himself to fall completely apart. As heartbreaking as the miscarriage is, the thought of losing you at the same time is unbearable. How could he have turned a blind eye to the pain you were going through? How could he have almost lost you, just like that? The guilt and anguish weigh heavily on his shoulders as he grapples with the harsh reality of the situation.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he cries, reaching for your hand. Joel presses a soft kiss on your forehead, his tears falling upon your face. He wipes them away as he settles himself on the seat next to your bed, his eyes never leaving your face as he waits for you to wake up. Every fiber of his being yearns for you to open your eyes, to assure him that you're still here, still fighting alongside him.

Taglist: @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat@gwendibleywrites@brittmb115@joeldjarin@drewharrisonwriter@littlebunnybigheartfics

@missladym1981 @auteurdelabre @quicax3 @casa-boiardi @amyispxnk

@untamedheart81@paleidiot@laurrrra@la-vie-est-une-fleur29@bbiophiliaa

@thewiigers@survivingandenduring (I apologize if I missed anyone, but if you are looking for any of my fic updates, please feel free to follow my updates blog @chiriwritesstuffnotifs!)

#pedro pascal #the girl in it #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller fanfic #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #joel miller fic #joel miller x Sugar

[kitorin]

journal.

in which, itoshi rin's midnight writing exposes what he's kept concealed from you.

contents. itoshi rin x reader, 2.878 k words, fluff, angst (in the past), itoshi backstory spoilers (mixed with a few headcanons), 1st person rin pov for a bit (journal entry), regular highschool au

a/n. is this my best? no. but is it the best i have for today? yes. happy birthday to rin <3 after assignments are done i'll definitely rewrite this (i gave up on proofreading)

10 / 09 / 2023 : SUNDAY, 12:04 am - 3:21 am

Solitude has never been a foreigner.

In fact, he's quite a familiar individual, an old companion that never seems to leave.

Even before Nii chan left for Spain, solitude was still there for me. During class I wouldn't utter a word to anyone else unless necessary, and contrariwise for said classmates. People still spoke to me; just not to the extent that they'd know what my favourite foods were, or what I liked to watch in my free time, not even bothering with it. I've never been invited to hang out with anyone after school, or been to someone else's house (not that I particularly cared, I was just sure that I was the only one).

But I was okay with it. I didn't want, or need anyone else when Nii chan bought me ice blocks, giving me the bigger piece as we'd watch the sun's warm hues bleed into the sky; the saccharine iciness contrasting how warm is was to be swallowed by sunlight together. Dad took us fishing a lot, he's always been well acquainted with the sea, taking us to locations well populated by bream; my favourite. On our way home we'd harvest kelp (Nii chan likes it in rice, salted) and take photos together on our yacht, admiring how the sun greets the world farewell, sinking into the aquamarine. Mum makes amazing food, I'm constantly astonished at how she manages to memorise every preference, from my love for ochazuke to being able to pour the perfect amount of tea; the rice never becomes too soggy (even I can't pour the exact amount I like). Solitude was close to me, but my family were closer.

There's a lot I could say about them, they've done more than remember what I love and ensuring I was happy; I'm thankful they've delivered the right for me to be comforted, to have a shoulder to cry on, to be able to freely ramble on about whatever fascinated me.

I've always been happy, even if I'm alone outside of the walls I call home. Because whether I laughed my heart out or sobbed to the point I couldn't form a coherent sentence, I'd always come home running to my family. Nothing can beat dinner; where we all relish mum's food, ask each other about our days' and offer solace or advice when necessary.

I miss that. Terribly, to the point my heart aches.

I knew that Nii chan's departure to Europe (Spain, to be exact) would change a lot. I'd have to score without his guidance, walk home alone and buy my own popsicles. Dinner time would have one less soul to laugh with, and home would have one less to embrace.

I just never expected it to be painful change. I never predicted that his return would result in losing us entirely. I didn't think his homecoming would cause my immortal resentment towards the snow, or how my eyes prickle a bit at the mere thought of an ice block. I'd say it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, separation from him following it on the list of my worst experiences.

Solitude avoided me at home, but wasn't enough.

One time on the way home, I was overhearing the team's conversations (nothing particularly new really) and it was a discussion about the future. It was honestly surprising to find out only some of us intended to become soccer players; Nagi would rather stream or compete in professional gaming, Kurona wants to study marine biology in uni, and Yukimiya wants to give acting a go along with his modelling career. Even Isagi has a plan for if professional soccer isn't an option. He said he wanted to help others achieve their dreams if he fails to do so himself.

I remained silent as always, but had a lot more thoughts racing through my mind. Retreating to my room immediately that night, my first thought was to lie in bed, to neglect the clips I planned to analyse, to ignore muscle training for today and to slack off a bit. That's when I realized how sad the life I was living. I was sad because I was reminded of my reality.

I'm a mere myriad of distinguished achievements, though a hideous attempt of replicating genius Itoshi Sae. I'm a collection of formidable accomplishments, basking in the spotlight of glory and honour. The trophies and awards adorning my room prove it, standing tall with pride and flaunting my hard work.

That didn't mean anything. I had remained in a constant cycle of training, eating, and sleeping. My teammates were just as ambitious yet still worked hard on other things; Yukimiya enjoys modelling and Reo has a passion for economics, That must've been where I was lacking.

That's how I ended up writing again. It was an attempt to break out of this cyclical torture of constant training and sports.

I don't know how I remembered it, but I found my notebook from primary, all the stories messily scrawled yet legible. Scarlet adorned narratives birthed from child-like imagination, eulogising the prose, even though I almost flinched out of embarrassment.

Flipping through the pages, I had found the paragraph my teacher left me, insisting that I keep writing. Obviously, I never did. After getting into soccer I ignored everything school related, and would've found words on a page foolish anyways.

Many years later, I finally followed that advice.

The end result wasn't pretty. I paused a lot, struggled a lot, and almost gave up, a lot. It may have been hideous, but it was mine. A piece birthed from curiosity and memories from the past turned into another attempt. Another attempt morphed into extensive reading, I wanted to observe what was considered worthwhile or meaningless.

Writing rewove the early nights into late night reading, fully immersed in the author's thoughts translated into prose. Reading was the push to giving academics a go. Academics pulled me out of the endless cycle of soccer, there was more to life than training and diet regulation.

Books I can read. Words I can write. Exams I can study for and sports I can practice. Weights I can lift and competitions I can train for.

But to be loved, is so difficult.

It's not like an exam that you can study for and simply memorise the answers to. Or a match that has the security of a referee and reinforced rules. It's not something that can be guaranteed with a mentor.

People treat Isagi to his favourite whenever he has a bad day (he likes kintsuba). People advocate their favourite novels to Yukimiya and Chigiri, even going as far as memorising their preferences to curate their recommendations flawlessly. It must be nice, for someone to invest that sort of effort in you, even if it's simply remembering a hobby.

As my peers savoured the allure of love, estrangement and desolation constantly haunted me; a pest habituating the sleepless nights where I try to escape with a cup of coffee that's long gone cold.

It's lukewarm, praying for another's attention, care and love, to be hungry for one's time. I pathetically plead whoever manipulating my fate to provide me some sort of human connection. I shouldn't be so hopeful of others, yet I find myself dying of curiosity; what would it be like for someone to remember my birthday? Or tell me about the horror movie they adored?

I despise solitude's clinginess. But I hate how it makes me sob endlessly when no one watches.

I have myself. I have my thoughts which I've transcribed to oeuvre. I have the pile of books resting on my bedside table which sleep alongside with me. I have the trophies and awards I've won, I'll always appreciate my own talent and diligence, even if playing soccer brought me so much pain.

I think I'm somewhat pretty. I find my prominent eyelashes special to me, it's something unique to both me and Nii chan. My physique isn't too bad, either. I like the way my legs look, and my shoulders as I dry my hair.

I've always been proud of myself. I've always been enough and I always will be. Just not for others.

That's why I never expected my bond with solitude to be severed so easily. Especially because of y/n out of all people.

I still don't get how it happened. The oblivion to their presence became a peculiar first impression. An odd first meeting turned into abrupt yet regular greetings amidst hallways. Soon, I was sitting with them in every class, passing notes during tedious lessons and discussing our favourite media on the bus ride home.

Before I knew it, passionate rambles about books turned into watching movies together in my room. Whenever they greeted me their friendly wave was replaced with a tight hug, passing notes in class were accompanied with subtle kisses on the cheek.

Our relationship as friends was reimagined to lovers.

Something must've possessed me to blurt out the stupid crush I had on them, and I thank whatever drove me to do that. As awkward as I was it doesn't compare to the skip of my heartbeat when they accepted my feelings.

It's been almost a year since I met them, yet I still feel hot whenever they hold my hand, and flush red at every compliment they whisper. I still find myself stuttering sometimes whenever they're showing me a new outfit they've styled.

I love the way they smile, the creases of joy that adorn the outer corner of their eyes, and how they squint with glee and the sweet, melodious laughter that accompanies it; how breathless they sound whilst laughing. The expression they wear when deep in thought fascinates me, even if it's midway through an exam or them simply observing a video Bachira sent them. I adore their late night thoughts they text me at 3 am, the fatigue itching my eyes seem to evaporate when I notice their name on the notification. I treasure the notes we've scrawled on spare sheets of paper, they're still in between the pages of my books.

Even now, they're sleeping soundly in my bed, arms wrapped around the plush I bought them; I keep getting distracted by the sight of them so relaxed, chest rising up and down with each breath.

I would die for them. Because now I don't need to pretend to be invested on my phone to look less lonely. Now, I don't need to put my bag on the seat next to me to make it look like I sit alone by choice. I don't have to persuade the teacher to let me do group projects alone, or have to observe others with jealousy. Someone defends me from disparaging comments.

Because now, I'm not alone.

7:15 am

THE ENTRY COMES TO AN END, AND EMBARASSMENT DUSTS Rin's face a faint tint of pink. His eyes avoid contact with yours— as he waits for your input his latest piece.

"Well? What do you think?"

You're not sure where to start. You've always known about his strained relationship with his older brother, and how his friendship with his teammates wasn't the same in the beginning. But he never explained it in detail; you wouldn't've guessed that he had some sort of chionophobia, or even cried because he felt so secluded from others. The thought of him concealing his tears and pain from the rest of the world made your eyes prickle and sends your heart racing miserably.

"Doesn't matter—" He reaches for the notebook, closing it and tossing it onto his desk. "Forget it, you didn't see anything." He plops backwards again, head hitting the pillow and groaning as he covers his face with his forearm. "It was shit anyways, I'll rip it out and toss it later."

"It wasn't."

Rin stays silent.

You lie down, mimicking his current position and cup his cheeks with your hand. "You'll never be alone again—, I promise you that." Your voice falters ever so slightly, the thought of his pain makes you feel weak in the knees and sick to the stomach. "You're more than enough, you always have and always will be. You don't need anyone's validation to be beautiful, you never did."

Rin sighs, "I'm only like that because of you." Yet something seems to throb in his heart, the small but overpowering part of him that insists he requires another's approval to be important— someone finally proving that wrong.

"That's not true."

"Yes it is, our classmates still loathe me, so do people who barely see or speak to me." There was no lie in that; but it wasn't Rin's fault. "Yoichi and the others only spend time with me because of you."

"I was only the push for them to speak to you, you know they've always cared, they were just too nervous to speak to you. As competitive as he gets, Yoichi really admires you, to the point he gets so heated and ends up rambling about your skills." That's a secret that was supposed to remain in your private messages, but Yoichi doesn't need to know.

Satisfaction momentarily appears on Rin's face at the thought of his rival's great respect, though it doesn't last very long.

"He's my teammate so it's expected... everyone I speak to at school seems to have something against me, even our English teacher." The mistreatment at school is undeniable, it's not exactly bullying but there's no respect or human decency in how people behave towards him.

"Rin, love, you've done nothing wrong, hate isn't always rational. There will always be people who can't stand seeing others more successful, and that's not your fault."

"Really?" His eyes light up; despite having a sophisticated and cold demeanour all the time, he looks like a child again, hope dances in his wide eyes.

"Really." Your fingers take advantage of the opportunity and pinch his cheeks gently. "Don't listen to all those stupid rumours and assumptions, idiot. I'd fight anyone who tries to hurt you and win every time."

When your fingers let go he immediately kisses you, and it leaves you breathless; the way he pulls you in flexes his well toned biceps and his hand supports your head.

"Thank you." Rin whispers, pulling away a bit. "Thank you for appreciating me. Thank you for everything." It's a rare occurrence for him to sound so frail, same goes for the tremble of his bottom lip.

"Of course, I love you more than anything."

"I love you too." It's escorted by a peck on your nose, and a soft expression sculpted on his face.

Before Rin can throw a blanket over the two of you again, you interrupt.

"You shouldn't throw that entry away." You still haven't forgotten his initial intention with it. "I don't get why you think it's shit."

"It's rushed. And it's just me waffling on about my feelings and the past. There's no proofreading, and it's rushed. It's not even complete either."

"That's the whole point of writing, no? It's the expression of our words and thoughts." You reach towards his desk to pick up the notebook. "Not everything has to be written in one sitting, too."

Rin doesn't bother stopping you from looking through the notebook at this point. "It's still stupid. It's just that I had the urge and motivation to write in the dead of night."

"Well. I like it."

Rin's stoic expression crumbles, revealing the bashful side he keeps concealed from the world. "Then that's good enough for me." The red on his cheeks tell you that you've won the argument.

You turn back to the entry page, impressed with his barely legible yet pretty handwriting. "You should've slept instead."

"I don't get tired anyways." He's quickly betrayed by the yawn clawing out of his throat.

"Liar. Why would you stay up writing so late... your sleep is important you know?"

"Because you are love itself. I won't get a wink of sleep if it means I can think and write about you instead." Rin's pulls you in again, tossing his notebook elsewhere as he leans in. "I promise I'll finish that entry, no— I'll write a book about you one day."

"Writing this, writing that, sleep first dumbass." A smile tugs at your lips as you pull Rin back into the position you were cuddling in a few hours ago. Even though you were the one who slept a lot more, fatigue itched your eyes, and a yawn spilled out too.

In response, Rin tosses a blanket over the two of you, whispering good night as you begin to nod off a bit. He should rest too, he has training tomorrow and has to go to the gym as well.

The Itoshi Rin from before would've slept immediately. In fact, he wouldn't've stayed up in the first place, let alone date someone. But the Itoshi Rin now instead stares at you, admiring each and every feature of yours. You're his savior, the luminescent moon irradiating his world, guiding him away from the grasps of solitude and embracing him with love instead.

Tagging: @yuzurins (yumi you inspired this fic btw lol)

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #fluff #itoshi rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi #rin #blue lock manga #blue lock rin itoshi #blue lock rin

[disneyprincemuke]

i just imagine femdriver texting mick “happy birthday 🥳” or something as a way to celebrate gunther’s departure (in code 🤫) but then max, our favorite clueless white boy, sees it and thinks it’s actually mick’s birthday and tweets something like “Happy Birthday Mick!! 😊😊” and everyone’s super confused and she has to try to explain to max that it’s not actually mick’s birthday she just didn’t want to outright say that she and mick hate gunther 💀

trust that femdriver hears the rumour from seb initially, and she's texting mick like 'i heard guenther's leaving' and mick is like 'no way, ur gna make me blush with this news' and she's like just trust me

and when news officially releases, she posts that story wishing mick a happy birthday and that a celebration is to be had and max posts his story and in the gc she's scolding him like what are you doing u idiot and max is asking her isn't it his birthday? and she's like no, we're celebrating something else, didn't u see the news?

max has seen the news, it just doesn't click in his head and at some point, she just stops answering and lets someone else try and explain it to him cryptically and eventually they also give up explaining it to him

it only hits him 3 days later at midnight as he's about to fall asleep... he grabs his phone and texts them 'i get it' and everyone's like k

#disneyprincemuke asks #disneyprincemuke vr #dpm vr asks

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, oh my god, the MHJ New Jean's news?? Do you have any thoughts? That's actually insane! What do you think is going to end up happening with New Jean's?

*

Ask 2:

Have you read about what’s happening with Ador and Hybe? What do you think?

*

Ask 3:

The TEA today about Ador Ceo was sad but not surprising. BTS is the story of betrayal by outsiders.

I was surprised when Tae worked with HER for his album. I didn't see that collaboration coming.

I have to wonder if she purposefully misled Tae into a "mid" album. Look, Layover isn't a bad album but its not a masterpiece regardless of what Tae solos believe.

The results are so different between albums like JITB, Astronaut, DDAY, Indigo, Face and Layover its crazy. The depth/personal experience reflected in those albums is undeniable while Tae's was all surface.

Golden is departure and its own thing. JK went for global popstar and achieved/ate!! His choreo reflected his status as part of 3J and his vocals were on display. Gorgeous!!! (Had to add that in because in this house we don't leave out members)

I feel bad for Tae today realizing he worked with a traitor. I will always wonder what he could have released if he had just worked with the Bighit team instead of Ador Ceo.

Maybe you have more insight into all this?

*

Ask 4:

Sooo... what are you thinking about this inter-hybe conflict between belift and ador? I know you're a nj fan but I think I've also heard you say that people are too quick to call things a nj copy, so I'm curious what you think about mhj's claims. I'll be honest that I thought that what I've seen so far seemed kind of unhinged-main-character syndrome to me but I also don't follow these groups and don't know how deep this goes. Certainly, I think mhj has been very deliberate and successful in building nj's brand, but I found this public argument unnecessary and potentially damaging to both groups. What kind of fallout do you expect?

*

Ask 5:

Bpp! Thoughts on the Min Heejin Hybe mess? I thought we were done with the corporate drama but tuns out no!

***

There's really nothing to say... yet.

News leaked that HYBE has leveled some allegations and accusations at ADOR, most likely based on a tip off, and launched an audit to ascertain if these allegations are true - in HYBE's statement confirming the audit, they don't name the people accused, but the news leak makes a point to name Min Heejin specifically, keeping the name of the VP who is accused of committing the acts unknown.

Min Heejin has responded in an exclusive interview and statement by ADOR, that she's innocent of most of the accusations and that this dispute started because HYBE has refused to curb inter-label plagiarism of her ideas with NewJeans. She refers specifically to Be:lift's new girl group Illit, noting how everything from choreography to visuals to styling to sound is based on her ideas, without proper attribution to her from Belift, nor an apology for what she calls blatant theft of concepts she's developing at ADOR. She accuses Bang PD of being complicit and prioritizing short-term profit over long-term viability of the new groups he's pushing out.

There are reports (unconfirmed) that HYBE has called for Min Heejin to resign. If ADOR doesn't call for a shareholder meeting by tomorrow, HYBE has indicated they might sue. The fact the meeting is being called before the audit is concluded, has all the hallmarks of a textbook corporate power play move, and implies to me something else than what I'm seeing most people here allude to. But still...

--

...there's nothing to say because what we're seeing is the middle innings of a power play game. There's simply too little info to make any decisive statements.

I immediately get a headache whenever things like this happen in k-pop because, even for more innocuous subjects, there's nobody more mind rotted than the average k-pop stan. And before long we'll have people whose only experience with executive/corporate power struggles is watching Succession, giving us endless takes in endless discourse. And this particular discourse is going to be more annoying because (1) Min Heejin is a woman who is already widely disliked, (2) There's an overwhelming amount of intersectional motives and interests both within and outside HYBE given the nature of the dispute, which typically leads to people infusing moral language into the discussion. It's going to be the HYBE-Kakao-SM discourse on steroids (and even in the HYBE vs SM drama, we had far more information to go on that what's available in this case).

I mean... Anon 3, you're already convinced this is a story of "betrayal", and claiming she is a "traitor", and you're tying a corporate power struggle to BTS. Not like I'd expect to see anything less from most other people to be honest.

This is really a dispute between Min Heejin and Kim Taeho (Belift's CEO), with increased grievance due to Taeho supposedly enjoying Bang PD and Park Jiwon's support and Heejin, supposedly, not.

The fallout, predictably, is going to be nasty. Given all the above. NewJeans is slated to have a comeback next month, Illit is only just ramping down debut activities while ENHYPEN is just starting the final leg of their FATE+ tour. If HYBE is indeed demanding MHJ resign, it's likely they only mean for her to resign from the CEO role but remain as the Creative Director of NewJeans - because the reality is that if there is no MHJ, there is no NewJeans. And it's that reality that in my view, is the primary leverage MHJ has. And she doesn't strike me as the sort to bluff. The worst case scenario is she leaves HYBE completely and NewJeans is put on hiatus, or the members sue to break their contracts with HYBE to follow her while she courts outside investors, similar to the Fifty Fifty situation.

Inter-label competition and drama is expected in a company like HYBE, it's wonderful because it can yield truly incredible results and unique approaches, but also potentally horrible because it can result in cases like MHJ's vs HYBE. There are ways to properly manage this competition to prevent the latter case, but I can't say I've seen any indication that with Jiwon nor Bang have done so. I said above that MHJ leaving HYBE completely is the worst case scenario for NewJeans, but it looks like the scenario most preferable for certain parties given it's one of the only viable outcomes from having this news broken this way. And so, most likely to happen. Unless Bang PD develops some hitherto unseen business acumen... so yeah I'm not holding my breath.

I have nothing insightful to add. My opinions about the suits at HYBE and Bang PD's business decisions for the last 2 years have skewed mostly negative, and that's not changed in this case. I'd rather not share my full opinions because I feel they run contrary to the dominant talking points here, and partly because they're not fully formed and nobody here is paying me to fully develop a view. I'm really not going to do that work for free.

We're all just going to have to wait and see.

What I will say though and something I find particularly interesting, is that HYBE has been accused of what Min Heejin is alleging, since at least the start of last year. Also, Belift in particular has been accused of plagiarism since the start of the year, twice, on issues unrelated to NewJeans. The first was when 'mobiius_music', an indie music producer on Instagram, accused them of lifting his music almost bar for bar for ENHYPEN's 2023 GDA dance break. The second was when Kelley Sweeney, an American choreographer who shares her routines on Instagram and tiktok, accused Belift of using her choreography for Illit's pre-debut practice without credit. Both times it was for low-level offences as it wasn't related to official music releases or album content, and so in that way Belift is better than bigger and more known agencies, but it still reflects a lax vetting process in the best case and unethical creative practices in the worst.

Anyway, my concern is for the artists involved while the suits try to play god with their careers. I can only hope that whatever happens is only the best possible outcome for all involved.

#newjeans #min heejin #bang pd #park jiwon #kim taeho #belift #hybe #kpop #ador

[themadknightuniverse]

Burn : Chapter 8

Summary: What if instead of doing his crazy jump over a roof, Nacho helped Lalo when he hurt himself in El Mich's kitchen so he could gain his trust. Maybe it piques Lalo's interest a bit more than Nacho initially intended.

Chapter 8 summary : They go to Fring's house for dinner then Nachito can finally get what he had been waiting for

Warnings : check AO3 tags at this point Wordcount chapter 8: 10,5 k words

READ IT ON AO3

As Lalo said, a man was dropped by at the restaurant in the early afternoon, taking the Monte Carlo away and leaving Nacho in charge of driving Lalo around for the next days. And it started by driving Lalo to his place once the day was over, leaving the task to bring money in the desert to Domingo, accompanied by Arturo who showed up right before their own departure. And so here Nacho was, parking his red and white Javelin in the Salamanca's driveway before stepping out and following Lalo to the door.

To say he expected Lalo to jump on him again as soon as they passed the door was an euphemism. Nacho was still feeling all hot under his skin, his heart never beating at a normal rate since he stepped in those damn restrooms. And the perspective of having Lalo all near him again, no one to interrupt them, Lalo touching him, kissing him, it was enough to make him feel a bit too hot under his clothes all over again. But to his surprise, there was no clumsy climbing on each other, Lalo simply guided him upstairs, barely looking his way.

(...)

#i'm back? i guess? #we'll see lol #anyway i wanted to get this out for valentine's day #so here it kind of is #this chapter is so messy i need to rework it but i dono when i'll get the time #hope you'll enjoy! #lacho #lacho fanfic #burn chapter 8

[liaromancewriter]

What Could Have Been

Series Premise: When Ethan breaks his promise, Cassie is forced to accept they’re not inevitable after all.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst Words: 680

Chapter 1: Promises Made. Promises Broken A return and the end of something special before it could begin.

A/N1: This series doesn’t follow my headcanon and is closer to book 2 canon. Like my hc, Ethan and Cassie are together briefly before he leaves for the Amazon. However in Lia Land, what happens after his return is always the divergence point.

A/N2: I'm using @choicesflashfics week 41, prompt 2

Her heart was broken, shattered like glass by his disdain. The words delivered in a cold, emotionless tone, sounding so unlike the man she’d fallen in love with.

For one second, Cassie Valentine wondered if it was a bad dream, like the kind she’d had while he was in the Amazon. All the doubts she tried to push away during the busy daylight hours had returned tenfold to haunt her dreams.

Where Ethan Ramsey falls for another woman, someone more beautiful and smarter than her. His equal in every way that she wasn’t. Despite their promises to each other in the departure hall of Boston’s Logan Airport and the night before in his bed.

“Consider us reset. I won’t cross boundaries with you again.”

But it wasn’t a dream. Ethan was deadly serious. Those blue eyes that had glittered with passion and laughter two months ago now stared at her so full of ice she shivered despite the warm summer night.

Everything he said tonight was logical. His concern for her career. His doubts about being able to push her to excel if they were involved romantically.

This was wrong, she thought, her heart rate accelerating as panic set in. This was not how their love story was supposed to be. They couldn’t just end before they’d had a chance to truly begin.

She’d promised to wait for him, and he’d vowed to come back to her. Only he hadn’t. He was breaking his promise as cruelly as he destroyed their love.

Cassie wanted to lean in, kiss his lips, remind him of what they meant to each other. But she held back. He had closed himself off from her. The distance in his stance was a slap in the face after everything they’d been through.

She felt the tears prick her eyes and knew she was close to breaking down. To beg Ethan to change his mind. Take her back.

But Ethan looked away from her, turning back to his drink.

Her gaze zigzagged across the empty beer garden, taking in every detail. The persistent flicker of a single light bulb. The sad tune of a country song drifting from the jukebox inside.

She needed to leave. To walk away with her dignity intact. They said love and hate were two sides of the same coin. And now she knew how true that was.

“Okay,” she said, clearing her throat. Her voice was gruff from unshed tears. “I get it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr. Ramsey.”

Cassie forced herself to slide off the bench, turn around and walk back inside.

She had no idea how she made it as far as the T station before the tears began to fall. Functioning on autopilot, she stepped inside the subway car that pulled into the platform and stepped off when she reached her station.

She wrapped her arms around herself and began the two-block walk home.

Home. She just had to get home, and everything would be fine.

She put one step before the other until she ran up the brownstone steps and into the elevator.

Quietly unlocking the apartment door, she breathed a sigh of relief at the silence and low light in the hallway. It meant everyone else had gone to bed, and she was saved from having to explain the state she was in.

Cassie shuffled to her bedroom and closed the door, leaning against it for a few seconds. She took deep breaths, but a low wailing sound escaped her lips. An indescribable grief descended upon her like a shadow, and tears cascaded hotly down her cheeks.

She believed they were inevitable, destined to be together despite the odds. But now she knew it was as false as his promises to her.

Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows. Things get hard sometimes. That’s just how it is, she thought, hardening her heart.

She stretched out on the bed and willed herself to dream of what was because tomorrow was the first day of the rest of her life without Ethan and what could’ve been.

-----------------

All Fics & Edits: @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @takemyopenheart @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @hopelessromantic1352 @mrs-ramsey

#open heart #open heart choices #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #choices open heart #playchoices #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #open heart fanfics #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #writers on tumblr #choices fanfics #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine

[such-a-barbarian]

🚄 w e e k ly 🌊 t a g ✨w e d n e s d a y ✈️

Thank you as always to @mybrainismelted and @jrooc for the tags!

_____________________

Name: Kell

Age: mid to late 30s

Location: the great white north!

we're going on a trip!! woot woot!

📍where are we going? Seeing as this time next week I will be Mexico, let's go early!

📍whats the weather like there right now? Warm and Sunny!

📍are you an over-packer or a light-packer? oh boy - chronic over-packer! Why do I need 10 pairs of underwear for a 7 day trip when I will be in swimsuit 90% of time? I DON'T KNOW OK! 

📍are we taking a plane or a train? I don't think you can get there by train and if you could it would take far too long. Plane it is!

📍early morning departure or an overnight trip? Seeing as there is no time change between here and there I prefer early morning. If there was a significant time change then I'd prefer overnight.

📍what song are you playing in the car while we drive to catch our departure? Probably whatever is on the radio.

📍we need to grab something on the way, starbucks or dunkin? Neither. I don't drink coffee. But since we are on an early morning flight I am stopping at McDonalds for a McMuffin and a hashbrown

📍we've made it to the transportation place 🚂✈️! be honest, are we on-time or are we rushing because we're running late? on-time. In fact, I am probably over an hour early. Being late gives me the most anxiety. If I'm not somewhere at least 10 minutes early I panic.

📍are you taking the window seat or the aisle seat? Window for sure. 1) I love watching the world get small. 2) I need to know when we are about to hit the tarmac.

📍we're settled in our seats, are you gonna read or watch a movie/show? Unlike my trip next week, for this pretend trip my kids aren't with me, so in that case I will be reading.

📍what are you reading/watching? So much fanfic. I currently have 92 fics on the "marked for later" list, so probably one of those.

📍are you using wireless or wired headphones? wired. I do not own wireless headphones. Actually, I'll be lucky if I can find my wired ones before the flight...

📍are you going to take a nap or stay awake? Chances are pretty good I will fall asleep at some point.

📍do you want a salty snack or a sweet snack? both?  Yes. (excellent choice Jess)

📍we've arrived! are we heading straight to activities or are we gonna rest at the hotel? Head to the hotel just long enough to drop the suitcases and change into a swimsuit, then it's immediately to the beach for me.

📍finally, pick a treat to reward yourself for a travel day well done! Something fruity and slushy and alcoholic with a tiny umbrella.

Also including this picrew! Forever in a hoodie.

tagging @francesrose3 @juliakayyy @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @babygirlmickey @zutaralesbian @lupeloto and @krysmiss if ya wanna.

#about me #tag game #take me to Mexico!

[f1rstime]

༉‧₊˚ ✩ ۫    CICADA's Apocalyptic Journey: From Netflix Stardom to a Sudden Disbandment

WRITTEN BY ... SEVENJEANS || POSTED ON ... 9/23/2023

In the ever-evolving landscape of K-pop, few stories have captivated audiences quite like that of CICADA. Debuting in 2020, this eight-member boy group shot to fame through their unique Netflix series, simply titled "CICADA." Blending elements of horror and apocalypse, the show unfolded a gripping narrative set in a world plagued by mutated cicadas. With twenty episodes spanning two thrilling seasons, the series left viewers on the edge of their seats.

CICADA's rise to prominence was marked by their debut mini-album, which may not have clinched any music show awards, but it flew off the shelves with an impressive 75,000 units sold. Their journey took an exciting turn in July of the same year when they returned with their second mini-album, "Chapter Two." The group's sales surged to 90,000 units, a testament to their growing fan base and musical prowess.

However, recent events shook the foundations of both CICADA and Angelico Entertainment. Son Jinhwa, the CEO of Angelico for two decades, resigned amidst a highly publicized and contentious lawsuit that exposed disturbing allegations. The abrupt departure of Son Jinhwa marked a turning point as Son Roan stepped into the CEO role, initiating a reconfiguration of the entertainment company.

As the winds of change swept through Angelico, CICADA's future hung in the balance. The group's composition underwent a significant alteration, with four members—Ash, Issei, Sol, and Sammy—deciding to continue their journey under Angelico. Ash and Issei assumed new roles as producers, while Sol and Sammy began preparations for an intriguing future project.

However, not all members remained in the fold. Daeul and Hyojin found their contracts unceremoniously terminated. When questioned about these terminations, CEO Son Roan was unambiguous in his response, stating, "Good riddance. No further questions about them, please."

With this sudden twist in their journey, CICADA's legacy is a complex tapestry of success, controversy, and change. As they embark on new chapters in their careers, the world of K-pop watches with bated breath, wondering what the future holds for these talented artists who once captured our hearts amidst the chilling chorus of cicadas.

[ COMMENT SECTION ]

       [ +1029, -384 ]  this is my 9/11 omfg

      [ +863, -271 ] roan really went in there with a mission this was fast 😭

      [ +726, -485 ] roan killing angelico's only successful act is crazy like what was going on behind closed doors...

      [ +620, -139 ]  should've been lunarix #THANKYOUCICADA

      [ +578, -387 ] the fact i'll never see idol issei again...sick and twisted

      [ +502, -208 ] they were on their way to being legends...im genuinely so sad 😭 #THANKYOUCICADA

#𝆹 🌐. ˚ DEVELOPMENT #i hate their fans and i hate them LMAOO #ficnetfairy #idol oc #kpop oc #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop group #fictional idol community #idolverse #bts addition #kpop addition #fake kpop group #fake kpop idol #idol addition #fictional idol group #kpop fanfic #fake kpop oc #kpop au #idol au #oc kpop group

[adnauseum11]

Defence Logistics (John Price x Reader)

2.6 k words

CW: swearing, canon-typical violence, minor character death

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, the Masterlist is pinned to my blog

I don't know why, but I've struggled with this chapter more than any others lately. The format I chose, the tenses, all of it was a puzzle I've been wrestling with. I don't know if it's my insomnia making a come back or what, but I have been agonizing on this one. Almost scrapped it altogether but have decided to be brave and let 'er rip. I found writing John without the warmth he has for his love a bit jarring, having the ability to turn off that part of yourself and focus on wrecking damage on others was hard to capture. If it's subpar I can only apologize lol - the next chapter is already coming easier.

Feedback welcome, if folks have any tips or suggestions - this is all for fun and improvement! (that's what I keep telling myself anyways lol)

Masterlist

John’s transfixed, watching rusty blood swirl around the shower drain, his mind still back in the field. He’s showering off before he drives home from the black site, situated deep in the English country side. He’s bruised in several places, with a fresh cut across his lower forearm where the Commander’s knife had connected during a wild swing. The dull throb pulls his brain back to the present moment, making him realize he’s slowly dripping blood all over his own feet. He lifts the cut above his heart and tries to refocus his thoughts. Kate’s dealing with the paperwork, folding their use of equipment into existing work orders. Gaz and Simon are also showering, medical and debrief waiting for them all on the other side of the steam. John’s mind keeps running over the events of the last few days, looking for anything he’s missed.

Thankfully, he and Ghost had arrived in Lithuania a whole day ahead of Gaz’s taskforce. They had driven across Vilnius in an SUV that had been held together with good intentions and baler twine, as far as John could make out. It had rattled something awful, to the point they had ditched it on a side road and hiked the last few rough miles, working their way across farmer’s fields dodging cattle and sheep in the early morning light. The Industrial section was set outside of city limits, in between old farms, where the smells and sounds would be less likely to disrupt the rhythms of life. The physical exercise helped re-center John’s mind on the task at hand. The way things had been left between himself and his love had unsettled him, giving his mind a stone to turn over instead of focusing on his immediate surroundings. He’d said more than he’d wanted to in explaining his departure, opening a can of worms he hadn’t intended and couldn’t put right before he left. If Ghost noticed John’s initial lack of focus, he said nothing.

The intercept point was more or less on top of the taskforce’s rendezvous point, in the back end of a massive sheep field with a small hut built out of field stones. By the time they arrived to do their recon, he had pulled himself together mentally and was feeling more present. John’s body remembered the training that had been drilled in to it, the rust of retirement flaking away as time stretched on. Soon it was nearly like he had never left.  He and Ghost discussed how to proceed in various probable scenarios as they checked the surrounding area.

How many people were involved in the revenge plot would depend on how the commander split his forces, to John’s mind. If he kept Gaz under his direct command there was likely no one else involved and Gaz was unlikely to survive the mission. If he sent Gaz with one of the other men, it was more likely they all were involved and it was more probable they would detain Gaz for information. Ghost agreed with John’s assessment, and they scouted the area before making a small camp a quarter of a mile from the rendezvous point to wait.

The downbeat of helicopter blades alerted them to the taskforce arriving a few hours after dark. John had signaled to Ghost, stubbing his cigar out and flipping the night vision goggles on. Then he and Ghost set out, snaking through the underbrush, using trees as cover as they moved in on the clearing and the stone hut. Once they got within a few hundred yards of the edge of the clearing they fanned out, Ghost swinging wide behind the unloading area.

They watched silently as five men disembarked using ropes, the wash of the helicopter blades obscuring any noise for several long minutes. Finally, it lifted, slowly claiming altitude again in the darkness, a handful of blinking lights the only outward signal of its location. The men had immediately moved on the stone hut as they landed one by one, quickly sweeping and entering it. John and Ghost had stayed in position, watching the hut for signs of life. Eventually the men exited, filtering into two separate groups. One group of two and another group with the remaining three. John located the Commander, pointing out the line of travel and giving a shove to one of his men. He squinted through his goggles, quickly identifying Gaz as the other man in the Commander’s trio.

As the groups split off into the darkness, the former Captain let the warmth of his anger wash over him again, keeping his movements purposeful and his mind on task. Staying a healthy distance behind, he stalked the trio as they hiked along the edge of the pasture, using trees and the waist high rock fence as cover. John tracked them easily with his night vision, quietly moving deeper in the woods. Ghost had shadowed the other group who were working their way further into the woods, opposite to where John and Ghost had camped and back towards the plant. When the Commander paused a few miles later near the badly rutted dirt road, their intent became clear to John.

The Commander’s group was set to create a diversion at the front gate of the chemical plant while the secondary team got in and collected the intel they were after. John waited until they were moving again to softly relay his plan to Ghost who responded with a subdued “rog that” in his ear. John moved incrementally closer on silent feet, waiting to see how they would go about creating their diversion. He watched as the Commander motioned Gaz to push forward, yanking a grenade from Gaz’s tac vest and pressing it into his hand. John had to force himself to wait, the instinct to get to Gaz pressing in on him tightly.

 The front gate was framed with two concrete pillars, into which were sunk the posts for retractable chain link fencing. Beyond that, a bar gate, manned by middling security guards wearing flak vests and holstered pistols. John had guessed they were there to keep the local gangs out more than they were prepared to deal with para-military operations. He was proven correct shortly after when Gaz lobbed the grenade in his hand at the chain link fence. It landed close enough to blow the gate off its track, making what was left of the twisted metal hang at an awkward angle. The explosion rocked the gate house, making the men inside shout and duck for cover. Gaz lobbed another grenade, this one blasting the gate off completely, the smoking metal smashing into the ground with a loud screech.

The men inside the gate house finally got themselves organized and started cautiously coming out, using the door as cover as they opened return fire into the darkness. John watched as the Commander gave Gaz’s shoulder a shove, jerking his head towards the gate house. John understood in a flash the Commander was trying to position Gaz where a stray bullet wouldn’t be blinked at if it connected. John was instantly moving, his feet creeping him closer to their position when Gaz did the unexpected. Instead of scurrying forward as they all assumed, he threw himself backwards, kicking his legs up to get leverage as he swung his body around to lock legs with the other soldier, standing beside the Commander. He went down in a heap, Gaz wrestling for top position for all he was worth.

John sprinted the last few yards, yanking the unsuspecting and now screaming Commander by the back of the tac vest before he could interfere. Chaos reigned as shots continued to pepper out from the gate house and the men shouted each other down. John hadn’t been fast enough getting his hands clear, the Commander yanking a Bowie knife free from his vest and swinging wildly over his head, trying to fend off the attack from behind. John grunted when the tip of the knife skittered across his arm but he didn’t stop in his action, drawing his rifle butt up and bringing it down on the Commander’s cheek as he stumbled backwards. The blow knocked him unconscious, his body falling the rest of the way into a heap.

Gaz was still scrambling on the ground with the bigger soldier, trading blows before John stepped in, levelling his pistol at the man’s head and pulling the trigger without hesitation. Gaz was instantly covered in a spray of brain matter and blood, and his hands came up instinctively, warding off another shot from the same direction. John had spoken up then.

“On your feet soldier.”

John had offered him a hand and it took Gaz’s brain a split second to recognize the ex-Captain.

“Cap - Laswell said you uncovered this shitshow. Wasn’t sure you were going to leave your new girl for this though.”

Gaz had extended his hand, letting John haul him upright. John had hummed non-committedly, not wanting to get into the specifics of his presence in the field. He reached into his vest and pulled out zip-ties, handing them to Gaz.

“Smart man to not let him get you in a bad position. Get him restrained for now.”

He muttered before tapping his coms.

“Ghost, how copy?”

There was a brief pause and then Ghost’s deep voice was in John’s ear.

“They’re almost at the target. The explosions and gunfire pulled all attention from the rest of the building. Moving fast.”

“Regroup with us at the vehicle once they’re successful. Anything goes off the rails, I want to know ASAP. Out here.”

“Rog that, Captain.”

John let go of the comm and lifted his rifle again, firing a few bullets into the air. This riled up the security guards again, setting off another round of wild shots into the now eerily quiet night.

“Strip him. No insignia.”

John gestured to the remains of the solider, blood and thick brain matter pooling on the ground. Gaz started ripping the patches off the dead man’s vest, stuffing them into a spare pocket of his own. John reached over, using the muzzle of his rifle to push what was left of the man’s head to the side, reaching in to the neck and yanking the dog tags off, handing them to Gaz as well.

“Help me get this one further into the woods.”

John kicked the foot of the Commander, and Gaz stood, taking an elbow on one side. They carried him backwards, his dragging feet going silent as they entered deeper into the woods. Gaz counted out a hundred steps and then they propped him up against a tree. John rummaged around, pulling his field first aid kit out and locating the smelling salts.

“We’re going to wake him up. I want to know how many people he’s involved in this revenge scheme.”

“Think he’ll tell us the truth?”

“Won’t know unless we ask, soldier.”

John broke the salts and waved them under the unconscious man’s nose. Gaz refastened his gloves, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched the man wake.

“Oi, OI.”

John’s tone was abrupt, not giving the waking man time to adjust to his surroundings.

“Wha- “

“You wanted the 141, Commander, you’ve got ‘em.”

When it took the man a beat too long to respond, John reached out and slapped his cheek with his open palm, jerking his head back against the trunk of the tree.

“Wake up Sunshine. What do you want with the 141?”

The Commander’s words are slurred, likely concussed from the blow to his head.

“Killed my brother – “

“You want revenge.”

John’s tone was flat, emotionless. The words unamused and to the point.

“Justice.” The Commander coughed, his head lolling to the side as he squinted up at them. “But we make our own, don’t we Captain?”

“If we’re lucky. Any more of your men involved? You already got one man killed.”

“No.”

The word was spat out, the hatred tangible in his tone.

“Norris feeding you information?”

“Get fucked.”

John looked over at Gaz who nodded silently to John’s unasked question. John had raised his pistol and pointed it at the man’s foot.

“Norris feeding you information?”

“I said get fu – “

John unloaded the bullet into the man’s foot, the bones and flesh splintering inside his boot. A bloodcurdling scream rang out, bouncing off the trees, making it seem like it was all around them. John lifted the pistol to aim at the man’s knee, his face impassive as the scream died down, replaced with frantic wounded whimpering.

“Norris feeding you information?”

“Holy fuck, oh shit, wait, wait, wait please – “

John leaned in, speaking lowly for the man’s ears only, not sure how much Gaz had been told.

“You send a sexual predator to my woman’s place and expect this to go well for you?”

John didn’t wait for an answer and shot the man’s knee out, the spray of blood missing Gaz this time but catching the side of John’s chest. The howl the Commander let out was unearthly, birds startling from their nighttime roosts. Some deeply tucked away part of John that demanded the collection of a pound of flesh was perversely satisfied with the sound. John stepped away again, training his pistol on the heavily bleeding man’s uninjured foot. Gaz stood, emotionless as the ex-Captain moved around the prone man, the dark forest obscuring their movements from the road.

“Last chance before I even you up. Norris feeding you information?”

“He’s the one who told me about my brother being at Las Almas!! He’s the one.”

John had shot a look at Gaz before turning back to the now heavily wounded man propped up against the tree. He gestured to the zip ties behind the man’s back with the muzzle of his pistol.

“Cut him loose.”

“You’re going to pay for this – I’ll make sure everyone knows-”

John took aim and unloaded a final bullet into the man’s skull, shards of bone and brain mixing with the wood splinters and smoke in the air. Gaz startled but collected himself, stepping over to cut the ties off the body, pocketing them. The dead man’s arms fell forward once the tension of the plastic tie was released. John helped him strip any identifying insignia silently.

“You need to radio that you were ambushed, both men down. Do you have a secondary exfil?”

“Yeah, if we can get to Belarus, the location is a few clicks over the border.”

“We’ll take the vehicle as far as we can. Ghost is going to rendezvous with us, let’s move out.”

John had waited to loop Ghost in before reaching out to Kate with their new exfil plans - taking turns sleeping in the vehicle for the rest of night while pushing on to the border. This gave Kate time to organize their ride and run interference with the story of the ambush. Which is how John spent Christmas Eve, crammed into a dilapidated SUV in the rural area of Lithuania’s border with Belarus, amongst his mates eating cold MRE’s again, all of them tired but alive.

Simon’s deep rumble knocks him out of his mental reverie, calling him back to his current position under the steaming water of his shower.  So far, outside of the problem of Norris, the only thing John has been able to surmise he’s missed in the last few days is Christmas dinner with his love.

“Laswell said she’s sending the medic in after ye’ if ye’ don’t git yer ass in gear, Cap.”

John shuts the water off with a sigh and presses his lips together.

“That’ll do, Ghost. I'll be there shortly.”

Next Chapter

Ao3

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch @magsmagic @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @chickennn-soupp

#fanfic #captain john price #john price x reader #john price #john price cod #john price x f!reader #john price x you #captain price #captain price x reader #o captain my captain #captain john price x reader #rescue mission #undercover mission #cw death #cw violence #fanfiction

[strideofpride]

“I personally headcanon, and I think there's enough to go off in canon to support it, that Dan was closer to Alison than Rufus before she left.” Okay I love this take and it makes me sooo curious what the Humphrey family dynamic was actually like before Alison left and Dan stepped into a more parental role with Jenny!! The only Humphrey childhood anecdotes I can specifically remember are the one from 1x06 where Jenny tells Serena the story about 5 year old Dan being terrified of the Ice Capades, and the one from 1x15 that Rufus initially misremembers:

Rufus Humphrey:
[to Jenny] You used to cry when I didn't walk you to school.

Jenny Humphrey:
That wasn't me. That was Dan.

Dan Humphrey:
I was six. It was a very emotional time for me, post T-ball.

And the subtext of the 1x15 bit stands out to me, because in the show’s present it’s obviously Dan who’s afforded all of the autonomy and treated more like an equal by Rufus while Jenny’s just a kid in need of protection, yet in these few glimpses we’re given of the past Jenny’s the one who seems to have been the more independent and self-reliant kid, while Dan comes across as having been a lot more sensitive and delicate when he was a child.

I’m curious what the early/middle childhood sibling relationship was actually like between Dan and Jenny - were they parented more equally back then and did they therefore have a more equal relationship, or was Jenny always treated as the more problematic of the two? Were Rufus and Jenny ever afforded the easier going, buddy-buddyish type of bond that Dan and Rufus have when Alison was around to be The Mom™️, and is that why Rufus kind of sucks as a disciplinarian in the present even though he’s otherwise a decent dad? Or did Rufus and Dan only develop that type of relationship as a direct consequence of Alison’s departure? And at what point did Alison become so fed up with her marriage and her life that she decided moving away and giving up primary custody of her kids was the best thing for everyone, and how long did that tension simmer beneath the surface?

I've kind of always assumed that Alison was doing the bulk of the child rearing. I don't think Rufus was an absent father, but I do think it was the traditional gender role stuff of Rufus focuses on keeping the family afloat by running the gallery while Alison stays home with the kids. So when Alison leaves, Rufus has to become a lot more involved with the day-to-day of raising children than he ever was before.

With what I know of sibling dynamics, I kinda feel like Dan being the sensitive, needy one kinda pushed Jenny into being the more self-reliant one. Like all kids are sensitive and needy but the way they express it is formed by the dynamics of their home. But because Dan was the older one, he did mature first, and you know, being an eldest sibling myself, your parents do start to rely on you at a certain point to help with your younger sibling, which clearly is what happened with Dan.

I think Jenny probably only really became the "problematic" child when she started at Constance immediately prior to season 1. I think a lot of Rufus, Dan, and Alison's reactions to Jenny that season imply that they're not used to her acting like this/that they're seeing a new side to her. Which makes sense if this is Jenny's first year in the prep school system and the Humphrey sibs went to public school K-8.

Rufus does a lot of the typical dad double standard stuff when parenting his son vs his daughter, which makes me think that even though Dan and Rufus weren't as close before Alison left, they could still be buddy-buddy in a father-son way. While with Jenny, I could see her being a daddy's girl when she was younger, but her father didn't look at her like a "buddy" in the same way he did his son, if that makes sense? But like I said, I think Dan and Rufus truly became more like peers when Alison left and Dan stepped up into a parental role.

And then as for Alison...I mean, she gave up her artistic dreams to be a mom. Rufus at least had the gallery to go to during the day, while she was at home with the kids. I think she has a line somewhere about how her entire adult life has been about Rufus, so it sounds like it's the very typical thing that happens in a marriage where the woman kinda ends up giving up her identity to focus on being a wife and a mother and then she wakes up one day and doesn't know who she is anymore. I imagine it's the kind of thing that's "slowly, then all at once" where she slowly loses herself and becomes unhappier as the years go on and then she woke up one day in the spring of 2007 and said "that's it, I'm done" and decided then and there to leave for Hudson for the summer.

And part of me really gets it and another part of me really doesn't, because how could you just give up having custody of your kids like that? Like Rufus and Alison never seem to have a custody battle, my guess is that they have nothing in writing, Rufus has no qualms about her staying in the loft with the kids while he's on tour in between seasons 1 and 2, and it's initially his idea to send Jenny to Alison at the end of season 3. So it's fully her choice to stay in Hudson and rarely visit. Which I know is just cause of how TV production works, but in universe...yeah I don't really fully know how she was able to just...go months and months without seeing her kids like that. Especially because she seems very maternal when we do see her with them. Idk. In my Alison fic, I decided that it's because while she felt strongly she had to be in Hudson, she had moved around a lot herself when she was a kid and didn't want to uproot her own kids like that.

But yeah, the show never really takes the time to explore why she went all the way up to Hudson, instead of just getting her own place in the city, or write throwaway lines about her calling or visiting beyond season 1 so it's all just up to your own interpretation.

#the humphreys #gossip girl #rufus humphrey #alison humphrey #dan humphrey #jenny humphrey #gg meta #anonymous #strideofprideanswers

[missskzbiased]

Sunshine

Summary: Whenever you feel down, your best friend jumps in and takes you to the beach to cheer you up. It helps a lot but not when you know he won't be able to do it ever again. And Felix doesn't seem to understand that what keeps you happy isn't the beautiful sunset or the stunning sea but him. He doesn't seem to understand that he was your sunshine, that you loved him.

WC: ~2,5 K

Genre: Romance/Friendship, Angst (-ISH)

AUs: Best Friends to Lovers, Confession, Departure

Pairing: Lee Felix X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language

Notes: This was inspired by a song called "O Leãozinho" (The little lion lol) but I think I missed my point half way through SUHAUHSAUHSAUHUHSA

Too beautiful to watch.

Your hand instinctively reaches forward; fingers apart, not really helping you to filter the sunbeams, but allowing you to keep your eyes settled on the sea ahead. It was almost too ethereal to be real, and the ocean, seemingly aware of this fact, sang you a lullaby; waves breaking and dissolving to the sand with a rhythmic, fizzy melody. As if it wanted to join the party, the sky itself dove into the cold waters; waves glimmering with pink, purple and orange undertones and tickling your feet with white foam, as fluffy as clouds. It was a blessing, and yet, you felt cursed by it.

Cursed, because no matter how beautiful it was, there was something, someone, who pulled your attention away from the astonishing surroundings. 

Emerging from the sea after enjoying his swim, your best friend smiled brightly at you. His smile has nothing indistinguishable, you're fully aware of this. It's just a bunch of teeth, some pointy and some rounded, organized in a not-so-perfect line. It’s just a smile. Like any other one. Yet, it brightens up his face to the point that even the dictionary wouldn’t be able to use the right words to describe it.

If you were conceited enough to try, you would say that he was the personification of the sun, and his smile was nothing but a beam of sunshine warming up your heart as he made his way back to you.

There is something about the way his skin shimmers when he combs his fingers through his hair, getting some of the sticky strands out of his face, that makes you believe you're right. Felix holds the sun on his features. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is being framed by it from behind. No. It has to do with the fact that his tanned skin sprinkled with freckles reminds you of the sunset: Delicate yet vivid; colorful. It has to do with the fact that the way his silhouette becomes more and more evident as he wades out to join you reminds you of the sunrise, and how much you longed for it every day.

"Don't you wanna join me?" He raises his voice so he can beat the distance between you two, nodding his head to invite you to his side. 

This time, the brightness of his smile feels less like a ray of sunshine and more like high beams on a road at night, blinding you right before the collision. You don't have time to fully process his words. Before you notice, his accent hits you like a truck. It's not something new: Felix is Australian. Yet, this time you feel it deeper in your soul. You know it means that the distance between both of you won't be covered by a bus, by a visit to the classroom next to yours, or by raising your voice at the beach.

When you process his words, it doesn't make you feel any better. Maybe it's because his voice sounds muffled by the waves and by his pathetic attempts to hold back his laughter as he stumbles out of the sea. You can hear how far away he is already. Maybe it's because you can't answer his question honestly. Yes, I wanna join you. Maybe it's because even though he doesn't mean to be sarcastic, you can't help but feel the irony in his words rubbing salt into your wound.

Yes, I wanna join you. You want to say, but not as an answer to his question. Yes, I wanna join you. You want to say, but you regret not being able to; not having an acceptance letter to do so. Yes, I wanna join you.

You feel compelled to laugh it off, but the reality setting in crushes your will to do so. Yes, I wanna join you. You want to say it, you really do. Instead, you offer him a wry smile and huff to simulate some kind of amusement.

  "I'm sorry," He says immediately, face dropping to match your mood.

"Don't be" You mean it, but you also don't. It's a confusing feeling, and you're so lost in it that you can't find sincerity in your words, and neither can he, "We'll keep in touch" The reminder feels more like a way to reassure yourself, and the reassurance feels more like a white lie meant to make this moment easier.

You were never much of a believer, yet, you can't stop it at this point, so you keep telling little, white lies to yourself.

"I know" Felix keeps buying it every time, and you question yourself if looking for a part-time job in retail, exploring your talents, and keeping your thoughts away from him was a valid answer for your problems, "But I meant to distract you today, not to make you gloomier" He sighs heavily, shoulders dropping as in a way to translate his own melancholy before he sits next to you.

"You could wear a watermelon on the top of your head, and you still wouldn't be able to cheer me up" He snorted at your words, and this time his presence eased up the feelings gurgling up your throat, "I'll miss that stupid laugh" The corner of your mouth subtly turns into a longing smile.

"I'll miss your stupid jokes" He retorts, chuckling while resting his hand on top of yours and squeezing it to show you that he was still there, with you.

"I'll miss having someone to laugh at my stupid jokes" You confess, and the air coming out of your nose sounds more like a fart than a snort. You exchange a surprised look before laughing whole-heartedly at the situation, but you don't tell him your stuffy nose is due to you crying over his departure since this morning, "Or at me" You bump your shoulder on his, causing him to return the gesture to show you some appreciation.

The silence following your bantering feels heavier than one would expect, and somehow it also feels lighter than you expected. It feels like there is no need to fill the air with empty words, yet you yearn for something to be said. It feels like your best friend is leaving your side forever, and there are no words to fit in the room, yet there are too many unspoken words. It feels like this silence is the last thing you will share with him, and you want to cherish this moment as much as you want it to end. It feels like trying to break the ice will melt his presence away. It feels like nothing, yet it feels like too much; Comfortable, yet awkward. It feels like intimacy. It feels like being strangers. It feels like everything falling apart.

All feelings you don't want to name.

"I'll miss you," He says effortlessly, but it doesn't quite put a tag on your feelings for him so, instead of saying it back, you hum in answer. He notices it, and you suppose he doesn't like it one bit as he adds incisively: "A lot", He tries to capture your eyes in his but you're not like Felix. You can't help but shy away from your feelings, so you fix your gaze on your feet, "I will miss you a lot" He repeats; burning your skin as he stares at you.

You wiggle your toes up and down, and the feeling of the sand sliding through them little by little reminds you of an hourglass counting the time you had left. Ten. You don't know why your mind starts counting it but parting from ten felt natural enough for you to question it any further. Five. The time runs too fast, but it feels long enough for the silence to grow thick enough that it's impossible to break. Two. The falling sand is either clogged up on your throat or your feelings are too overwhelming for you to share.

Time's up.

You purse your lips before sticking them out with a pop, sucking on the lower one and biting it as if it could buy you some time and strength. There is no amount of time in the world that could prepare you to confess it before. There is no amount of time in the world that could prepare you to confess it now. Not right before your best friend left for good. Yet, you want to say it. You want to be honest with him just like he had done with you so many times before. You want to face the sun and be kissed by its light. You want to kiss him. You want to say goodbye on your own terms; telling him that you will miss him too but not only that.

Ten.

You decide when to turn the hourglass around.

Eight.

It doesn't matter that the unspoken is suffocating, that you wish that time could go by slower and faster at the same time. 

Three.

"I love you" When you finally say it, time doesn't stop like it was supposed to do. The sea doesn't stop fizzling nor the sky stops diving. The waves don't stop breaking nor do the birds stop chirping. The passersby don't stop walking, and the clock doesn't stop ticking. It doesn't stop ticking. And the silence drags for too long once again; the ticking unbearable to stand but impossible to miss, "A lot" Your voice comes out strangled by your feelings, and the relief you expected to have washed over your turns into a bucket of cold water that immediately blow away any hopes your had left.

The moment his hold on your hand loosens up is the moment you know that everything is ruined, and nothing will ever be the same again. Maybe you were being selfish by wanting to finish it on your own terms. Maybe, you should have let him go away like this so he could come back. Maybe you wouldn't be crying right now, retreating your hand to wipe away the tears that insisted on falling.

"I'm sorry" You blurt out, even though you're not sure what you are apologizing for. The words hang in there for one, two, or three seconds. You find a reason to break the silence once again, "I shouldn't have said anything" You decide. That's your fault. Your feelings were meant to be kept a secret, "Forget that I said anything" You laugh, huff, and then sob before whimpering, failing to do the very thing you asked from him, "I didn't mean it" You lie, decided to do what you did best up until now.

"I love you too" For the first time, Felix doesn't buy it.

He hesitates to continue, and you can't help but say it for him: "But not like that" You offer him a bitter smile in response, "I know" You try to make things easier, looking straight into his eyes for him to see that there was nothing that could get between the both of you, but it only seemed to make things harder for you.

"I don't think you do" He disagrees, body detaching itself from the sand to twist in an angle that allowed him to have him facing you by mere inches away.

Then, you suddenly understand.

He didn't need to kiss you to clear up your thoughts but you would be lying if you said that it didn't help a lot. The way his lips found yours was gentle and caring but horrified at the same time. It made things awkward, yet, so tender that your heart almost burst inside your chest. The way he tried to mold his lips to yours was funny enough for you to laugh inside his mouth, but neither of you was discouraged by it. Not when his hand cupped your face carefully. Not when your fingers locked on his strands and brought him closer to you, getting both of you to fall back. 

"What are you doing?" He asks while laughing, burying his face in the crook of your neck to prevent himself from eating sand.

"I don't know" You admit, laughing along with him while combing his hair.

"I don't wanna go" He sighs, and you can feel him trying to hug you but failing, "Don't you think movies make things look so much easier?" He complains, and you cackle as he grumbles, getting up and sitting by your side, "This was awful" He snorts, pinching his nose's bridge and waving his head in disbelief.

"It was kinda cute" You pat his back for moral support, and he offers you a pointed look, "Okay, it was awful!" You give in, "But it's you, so I don't mind" You shrug, not missing the way his cheeks blush at your words.

"I don't mind it either" He mutters softly, and you wonder if he has been this shy all along. You hum in approval, intertwining your fingers together before pecking his lips, watching his face brightening up and his eyes turning into crescents, "But I wouldn't mind practicing a little more either" His crescents dissolve to give way to his wiggling eyebrows; his tone more suggestive than ever.

"Yeah?" You fight back your smile, trying to keep your teasing facade as he leans closer to you.

"Yeah" He practically purrs, lips finally closing the gap that was about to widen soon enough. However, this time it didn't worry you that much. The sun that was about to set would rise again someday.

#skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz fluff #skz angst #lee felix fanfic #lee felix fluff #lee felix angst #felix fanfic #felix fluff #felix angst