isn’t it strange? - nico hischier
a/n: this took so long to finish and once again not sure if I even like it but I will perhaps make a bonus epilogue to post later if I get inspired <3 if some things seem vague (re: family dynamics and details like siblings and parents) it’s because I wanted to make it as ambiguous and universal as possible, though this does center around a relatively close-knit family on the reader's side
word count: 12.7k (good god y’all)
warnings (18+): smut (unprotected), minor alcohol mentions, wedding antics, close family dynamics
teaser / part one
-
Things were awkward to say the least when you arrived at the large house your family had rented for the week.
It was awkward when Nico picked you up to take you to the airport, your favorite coffee and breakfast sandwich in hand when he greeted you at the door. As always, he turned up earlier than expected, leaving you to invite him in while you scrambled to collect the rest of your things.
The drive had eased some of the tension since you had nearly half an hour to chat on the ride over. A portion of the time was spent catching up on the last month though you both kept details vague, but most of the conversation centered on your family and the itinerary for the week ahead of you since you wanted Nico to be prepared.
Nico had met your immediate family many times before over the course of your relationship since he chose to spend holidays during the season with you and your family because he couldn’t make trips back to Switzerland with hockey going on all the time, but this was the first time he would be meeting your whole family: all the nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins, everyone extended. It was a week sure to be filled with intrusive questions about your relationship and future together.
By the time you had your bags checked, Nico surprised you with upgraded first class seats from the coach ones you had purchased all those months ago.
“I asked you on this trip as a favor,” you quipped when he flashed the tickets before you with an amused smile that you did not return. “You shouldn’t be spending any money on this. Or me.”
“Who said this was for you?” He smirked. “I’m used to a life of luxury on private team planes. I don’t want to spend the next four hours with a kid kicking the back of my seat and you hogging the armrest.”
The tone of his voice let you know he was joking, but you half believed the excuse.
“Plus, you’re going to have to deal with your family for the next five days. I think you deserve to have at least a few hours of comfort before all this goes down,” he added after a moment.
“You’re too kind for your own good, Nico, you know that?” You replied with an agitated huff, taking the ticket with your name from his hands. Who were you to refuse a first class ticket you knew was nonrefundable?
“You did say that was one of my most lovable qualities.”
“And sometimes most infuriating,” you grumbled. “I’m paying you back for this later.”
“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Both of you knew full well Nico would never accept a repayment.
The flight got delayed an hour due to air traffic, and you hated to admit you were extra thankful for the first class seats as you sat and waited for the runways to clear when suddenly Nico grabbed your right headphone to pop it into his own ear.
“What are you listening to?” He asked when the podcast started back up.
You waited a few moments and allowed the audio to play where the hosts where in the middle of describing a gruesome murder. “True crime,” you stated when they finished their story.
Nico never had the stomach for all the horror and gore you were fascinated with, though he tried valiantly to get into the same interests as you. More times than not it led to terrifying nightmares or unwanted paranoia or tenuous nausea.
“I always hated these,” Nico said, but he made no move to remove the headphone while the story continued on.
“That’s because you scare easily and get nightmares,” you chuckled. After the third time Nico woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night after watching a horror movie with you, you declared him unfit to watch any more (something Nico was eternally grateful for.) He would do anything for you, and if that meant sitting through awful movies and documentaries that scarred him, he would do it, but he was glad he didn’t have to.
“Nightmares were never so bad when I woke up next to you.” Nico let his eyes fall shut after the plane settled into a cruising altitude.
“Speak for yourself.” The corner of your mouth tugged into a smile. “You were always sweaty and clung to me like a koala.”
Nico’s own lips quirked up at the mention of his clingy bedroom tendencies but said nothing more, and within a few short minutes he was fast asleep, which was another quality you envied him for: his ability to pass out whenever and wherever.
-
You were grateful it was well into the evening by the time you made it to the rental home. The hour-long taxi ride gave you some time to unwind from the plane ride and figure out some last minute logistics before launching yourselves into a busy week. And it helped that you weren’t bombarded at the dinner you expected to be at but sadly had to miss.
Your parents greeted you at the front door, tackling you both in hugs before your father went to handle the luggage while your mother squished Nico’s cheeks and made comments about how he needed to eat more.
Nico wooed her with that dazzling smile of his that had her heart melting every time, complimenting her on her new hairstyle and giving her a big hug. Your dad clapped him on the shoulder in one of those fatherly squeezes, commending him on the past Devils season. Before you brought Nico home, your father never dared to follow New Jersey Devils hockey like any respected person would, but Nico easily converted not only your dad, but your entire family into Devils fans.
They traded some commentary on the playoffs currently going on as you entered the home before your mom showed you to the room you’d be staying in and updated you with the arrival times of your siblings the next day.
The conversation didn’t last long considering it was almost ten in the evening and they wanted to give you time to settle in. Plus, it was past their bedtimes as middle-aged adults and they were more interested in getting some sleep themselves than catching up with you right now.
“Are you sure you’re okay with being here?” You asked after your parents left, lounging on the bed while you waited for Nico to finish up in the bathroom.
“Of course I am,” he replied, flicking off the light switch before slipping under the covers. “I like your family. They always make me feel welcome.”
“That’s because everyone’s in love with you,” you chuckled. “You’re, like, every parent’s wet dream.”
Nico laughed, having heard you say some iteration of that same phrase multiple times over the years you dated. It was insane how much your parents loved Nico. Every time you brought him home, he stole the show. Your little cousins flocked to him like moths to a flame, and all the guys loved being able to discuss sports with a professional athlete even if your family wasn’t a hockey one. He had a stomach the size of an elephant and could eat his weight in food that your aunties made, and he was an even better complimenter and flirt. Your older brother adored him and your younger sister fawned over him. Hell, even the grocer at the local supermarket asked you periodically how Nico was doing when you came home to visit.
There wasn’t a single person he couldn’t win over. Both in your family and in life. He was just that perfect.
“Besides, having your mom’s cooking at least once this weekend will be worth all of this,” he added after a moment.
“You say that when you’re so clearly the favorite here.” You slid under the covers and pulled them up to your chest.
“What can I say? Moms love me.”
Everyone loves you, you thought.
“Goodnight, Nico,” was what you said instead, rolling onto your side and away from Nico. You hoped that if you didn’t have to look at him, your mind could forget that he was right next to you, but it was a fruitless attempt. Not when his body was denting the mattress just a few inches away and you could practically feel his heat radiating across the distance.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied while settling himself deeper into the sheets.
The situation gave you flashbacks of the end of your relationship when you were still sharing a bed but acted like you were strangers. A pit settled in your stomach at the memories of Nico coming home late and crawling into bed without so much as a goodnight kiss and where you pretended to be asleep so you didn’t have to ask him about his day.
You pushed the thoughts aside and burrowed yourself deeper into the bed. If anything, maybe you could come out of this weekend as friends. You could only hope for the best.
-
“What’s for breakfast?” You asked, entering the kitchen where your mom and dad were already bustling around cooking.
Nico followed in behind you while you peered over your mom’s shoulder at the stove where she was flipping chocolate chip pancakes. Your lips turned down in a frown, but you didn’t say anything.
Turning around, you spotted freshly cut strawberries in a bowl on the counter, and another glance in a different direction showed turkey bacon slices resting on a plate. All of the dishes were Nico’s favorites.
“Is there anything for me here?” You scoffed teasingly when you saw your dad poaching eggs in a pot just how Nico liked.
“You’re not the guest here,” your mother replied with an eye roll. “We have to be good hosts.”
“Right. It’s not like Nico’s stayed with us multiple times and knows what to expect.”
“Oh hush, you know you’ll eat it anyway,” your mom said.
“Would’ve preferred waffles,” you mutter under your breath, which earned you a light hit with the nearby dish towel.
“This is all wonderful. Thank you so much. You guys didn’t have to go to all this work,” Nico stepped behind you, pulling you back into his body before you started arguing with your mom.
“And that’s why he’s my favorite,” your mom gushed with an affectionate pat to Nico’s cheek. “Help yourself.”
You rolled your eyes at your mom’s blatant favoritism, but Nico only smiled down at you and wiggled his eyebrows in amusement. He knew your parents loved him, arguably more than they loved you, and he was by far the favorite significant other between you and your siblings.
Your mom smacked your hand when you tried to plate your food first, reprimanding you to let Nico go first, who stood grinning and on the verge of laughter at your put-out face as you waited for him to finish.
“Now you’re just being an ass,” you said, snatching some bacon from Nico’s plate because he thought it would be funny to take them all.
“Careful,” Nico whispered as he leaned in closer, “or I’ll tell your mom you’re being mean to me.”
It was too early in the morning for your stomach to be filled with butterflies at Nico’s close proximity, so you teasingly shoved him to the side to put some space between your bodies. You were only given a short reprieve before Nico joined you at the table and pressed his thighs flush against yours underneath the table.
You tried not to think about his thigh against yours or the jokes and stories he shared with your father or the way he helped himself to all the extra leftovers your mom insisted on giving him because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. And you especially tried not to think about how your heart rate sped up when Nico reached up to wipe a smudge of jam at the corner of your mouth.
Yeah, it was going to be a long day and an even longer week.
-
When you first agreed on Nico accompanying you back home, you both decided that the less time you spent lying to your family, the better. It was hard to avoid spending any time with them due to the fact that it was a family wedding, so when the opportunity came up to run some last minute wedding errands, you jumped to volunteer yours and Nico’s time.
While you loved your family, the day had been full of a lot of interacting, and tomorrow would be even more taxing when the rest of your extended family arrived. And then your brother and sister stopped by to catch up with everyone, and you were faced with another onslaught of questions about when you and Nico were finally going to settle down.
“If you’re waiting for permission, you know you already have it,” your brother had joked, clapping Nico on the shoulder with a laugh.
It didn’t help that Nico was absolutely incredible with your brother’s kids, tossing them in the air and letting them hang from his back like he was a human jungle gym. His ever-lasting energy devoted to playing with your niece and nephews only had your sister-in-law nudging you with her elbow and commenting on just how good Nico was with kids.
“He’ll be a great dad in a few years, huh?” She smirked. Laura loved Nico because she thought he was good for you and also because every time you brought him around, she always got a few hours of peace while he entertained them. “You don’t even know how excited they were in the car that they got to hang out with Uncle Nico today.”
You laughed at her comment though it lacked genuine feeling. You weren’t sure you even wanted kids in the future, but the remarks about how everyone loved Nico only stung more when you knew you didn’t have him anymore and that he wasn’t yours.
You practically had to drag him out of the house after a hectic lunch when your father asked if anyone wanted to check in on the vendors in town to make sure everything was still in order. Your family was great at asking too many questions and insinuating that they were waiting for Nico and you to get engaged yourselves, and the atmosphere was starting to become stifling.
“You okay?” Nico asked the second you stepped out the front door to take a deep breath.
A hand raised to cup your cheek before you could reply, and Nico met your eyes with a worried look.
“Yeah, sorry,” you sighed. “I just didn’t think I’d feel this bad about lying to everyone. I’m sorry you have to deal with all their dumb comments.”
“I’m okay, I promise.” Nico engulfed your face with both hands now and scanned your eyes for reassurance. “Why don’t we take our time in town? We can say something went wrong so we needed extra time to handle it and we can get dinner or something after so you can have some time to breathe.”
Nico honestly didn’t mind the inquisition from your family. Over the years, he’d become used to their fun-loving and sometimes invasive nature, but he knew they meant it all with love. They cared about both of you deeply, and it was endearing to hear that they still did. It warmed his heart and filled his body with such an intense longing that, for brief moments, Nico would forget you were actually broken up.
Those moments were usually when he caught you laughing with your sister at something and you’d glance over at him for a split second before turning away. Or when your niece would quietly whisper to him to ask if he could braid her hair, to which Laura would reprimand her for bothering Nico but he gladly entertained her anyway. Or when your mother took him to the side to ask about when they’d be flying back for Thanksgiving, and Nico’s initial reaction was to give her an answer instead of deflecting.
He especially felt it now with his hands warming your face as he watched your brows draw together in anxiousness, and Nico knew he needed to get you away from the house as quickly as possible.
“Yeah, okay, let’s do that please.” Your shoulders release some tension on your next breath to calm yourself down.
The drive into town settled your nerves the further you got from the home, and you were feeling more at ease when you rolled up to the flower shop your cousin enlisted for the wedding.
The florist was a lovely elderly woman who gushed over Nico immediately.
“The girls in your family have some real luck with gorgeous men, huh?” She blushed when Nico shook her hand, instantly feeling the charm of a handsome young man.
She ushered you to the back where she had started assembling the table pieces, blue iris and white hyacinth bundles scattered across her workspace. “My daughter will be in tomorrow to help me finish the rest, and we will be there early Saturday morning to drop them off and help set up if you need it.”
“They’re gorgeous,” you complimented, taking one complete bundle in your hands to inspect it. “Really, they’re incredible.”
“Oh, thank you, sweetheart,” the woman smiled, evidently proud of her own work.
She showed you around the rest of her shop after you were sufficiently confident that the flowers were taken care of, delving into the history of the store that she opened thirty years ago with her husband.
A phone call from the dress store had you excusing yourself and stepping outside while Nico finished up inside, and you thanked the lady again for her help.
Nico joined you on the sidewalk after a few minutes, the bell above the door alerting you of his presence as he bid farewell to the florist with a bright smile. A singular red tulip stem was between his fingers, and he held it out for you to take like it was a precious present.
“Ruth thought red seemed like your color,” Nico said. “I agreed.”
“Ruth knows me well.” You took the flower from Nico and brought it to your nose to sniff it.
Nico cleared his throat. “So what’s next on the list?”
“The tailor said the dress would be another hour before we can pick it up, so we should probably check on the cake and catering.”
You ran all over town with Nico, popping from shop to shop and checking on all the orders on your list.
The caterer ran through the list with you three times when you arrived, double and triple checking the vegetarian and special diet options and numbers while simultaneously having you try a few samplers to make sure everything was how it should be: a task that Nico was all too willing to participate in.
The cake decorator had barely begun baking the cake by the time you got there, so there wasn’t much to check in with, though she also had no concerns at the time and even sent you home with a complimentary slice for making the trip out there.
“Last thing on the list is picking up the dress. Emily said she had her final fitting earlier this week, so it should all be good to go.”
It was still early in the day by the time your cousin’s dress was tucked safely in the backseat of the car, and Nico could feel your hesitation behind the wheel when you realized it was time to head back.
“Hey, are you hungry? I’m starving,” Nico said. “We should get something to eat before we go home.”
“My mom is probably making dinner as we speak,” you chuckled, not opposed to the idea of skipping out on family time.
“She’s got the grandkids and your siblings. We’ll just say it was my idea and that we wanted some alone time. You know she’ll never get mad at me.” His lips pulled into a smirk. It was true. Nico walked on water in your mother’s eyes.
“Well, when you put it like that…” A smile slowly spread across your face. “Should we play a round of restaurant roulette?”
“You know me so well,” Nico laughed, already pulling up the list of nearby restaurants into his google search.
Restaurant roulette was something you often played when you were dating and couldn’t decide on a place to eat. It was your own way of discovering new restaurants and also how you made decisions when you were both too stubborn to agree.
Back in New Jersey, you had a list of all local restaurants and would randomly shuffle them and draw a number to decide which one you’d be going to, but in a town you weren’t familiar with, a random google search would have to do.
Nico didn’t show you the phone, viewing the list of places on his own and counting the total number of restaurants before asking you to pick a number.
“One through eleven, which will it be?” He asked.
“Four,” you answered.
Nico smiled wickedly before punching in the address.
The surprised restaurant turned out to be a Western country bar like one straight out of the movies. It was an odd choice of restaurant to be in a town that was most certainly not a small country town, but like every restaurant roulette choice, you embraced it with open arms.
You embraced the grizzly men sitting at the bar drinking glasses of dark liquor and the old, bearded bar owner serving the drinks. You even embraced the sticky booth table with the flickering light above.
The waitress was definitely a high schooler who would rather be doing anything than serving the two of you on a Thursday evening, but you figured she had no choice but to be there if you were going by the way she called the bar owner ‘grandpa’.
The menu, which was surprisingly long given the small establishment, had everything from fried appetizers to salads to steak. “There’s no way they can be doing all of this right,” you commented as you perused. It was nearly two full pages just of food and another full page of drink options.
“What do you think are the safest options?” Nico asked.
“Not the grilled salmon… or any fish option for that matter,” you replied.
When the teenager came back, you stuck to a simple burger while Nico chose a chicken sandwich, hoping that the bar at least had good classic bar food and handed the menus back.
Nico took your mind off your family while you waited for your meals, delving into updates on his family and his plans to go back home in the next couple of weeks.
“Is everyone doing okay? Your mom and dad? Siblings?” You asked.
It dawned on you then that you hadn’t spent much, if any, of your time together this week asking Nico about his life and his family. You’d been so worried and focused on your own issues that you neglected to check in with him.
Whereas Nico had met your family multiple times, you only had the privilege of meeting his when you traveled to Switzerland with him in the summer, and even then it was difficult for everyone to be together with his siblings both involved in sports. There was the rare event of his parents spending a week in New Jersey just last year, and that was the last time you’d heard news about them now that you thought about it.
“Everyone is good,” he answered. “They ask about you sometimes.”
Nico’s family liked you just fine from what you could tell and from what he would tell you. They weren’t given as many opportunities to hover and ask questions like your family did with Nico, but they were always welcoming when you visited. You had a good enough relationship where you would talk to his sister and mother separately on your own every now and then, though that had slowly fizzled out along with yours and Nico’s relationship.
For the most part, though, they only had Nico’s word to go off of when they developed their opinions on you, and Nico never had anything bad to say about you. Even when you were fighting or didn’t see eye to eye, Nico would never bad mouth you behind your back.
The waitress arrived with your dishes in record speed—a perk in ordering in a place that rarely seemed busy—and you were pleasantly surprised by the quality of them.
“I take back every bad thing I said about this place. I would definitely get this burger again,” you announced, polishing off the crisp fries on the side.
“I think this might be the best chicken I’ve ever had in my life.” Nico all but moaned around his sandwich, sending zings through your body at the melodious sound.
“How long are you going to be back home for?” You coughed awkwardly, trying your best to ignore the heat flooding your body by turning the conversation to something mundane.
“Till practice starts up again, hopefully,” he replies, dousing his own fries in an abundance of ketchup. “I already postponed going back because of this new trainer I’m seeing, so I want to stay there as long as possible.”
“You make me feel like a bad daughter because I’m here wishing this weekend was over so I can get back to Jersey,” you chuckled.
“Yeah, but your parents are coming to visit you in a couple months anyway.” His remembrance of your parents annual NJ trip just to see you stirred something inside you. “I get tired of my family when I’m home too. I think everyone does. Too much of a good thing sometimes, you know?”
Boy, did you. There was always a pang of guilt every time you thought about how you didn’t want to be around your family that made you feel like a disgrace or unworthy, so it was nice to hear you weren’t the only one who felt that way.
“Thanks for saying I’m not a bad person,” you said after a moment. “Even though this entire week has been based on lies.”
“But you’re lying because you care about them, so the pros outweigh the cons here.” You weren’t quite sure if you believed that, but Nico always said everything with conviction that you couldn’t help but mooch off his confidence.
“Yeah, maybe.” Perhaps the pros did outweigh the cons in this case, not to mention the lying saved you from unnecessary pity and coddling which was fun for no one, but that small bit of guilt still lingered in your chest despite all your attempts to settle it.
-
With a terrible turn of events, you woke up the next morning with a painful migraine. The few rays of light coming in through the blinds had you turning your face into the pillow and squeezing your eyes shut.
It was a rare occasion that you were overcome with debilitating migraines like this, but when they happened you knew you wouldn’t be moving for the next few hours at the very least. At most, you’d be out the entire day if you didn’t follow the very specific ritual and medications that you finally figured out to cure the headache.
The only bad part about following your migraine ritual is that it was hard to get yourself up to get the things you needed when your head was in splitting pain.
Curling the pillow around your head to block out the sounds of clanging pots in the kitchen, presumably your mother making breakfast, you let out a muffled moan at the overstimulation.
The moan had Nico stirring awake beside you.
Your migraines weren’t so rare an occurrence that Nico couldn’t immediately pick up on what was going on, but it had been months since your last migraine as far as Nico could remember.
“Oh no,” Nico said quietly, rubbing a hand across your back. “Is it your head?”
You let out another pained moan as an affirmation.
Your body was curled into a fetal position and burrowed under the sheets with the pillow wrapped around your head, and Nico kept his hand running softly over the fabric of your shirt in gentle circles for a few moments while he woke himself up and threw himself into mom mode.
“Wait here a minute, I’ll get you a towel for your eyes.”
The sound of curtains rattling against the rod let you know Nico was trying his best to close them despite the fact they wouldn’t completely block out the light. Then he shuffled off to the bathroom to find a washcloth to soak in ice cold water before coming back to you.
“Roll over, honey,” Nico instructed quietly, making sure to keep his voice as low as possible so as to not irritate your migraine further.
With your eyes still pinched shut, you rolled onto your back, and Nico placed the cold towel over your eyes.
“You don’t have any of your pills or stuff here, do you?” He asked, stroking your leg through the blankets.
“No,” you croaked out. “I need my ginger ale.”
“I’ll make a run to the store and get your things, okay? Think you can hang out for an hour?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“I guess not.”
“Then drive fast, please.”
Your mother didn’t blink twice when Nico asked if he could borrow a car to drive to the nearest pharmacy to gather your migraine medication and items you needed. She was mildly worried about your condition since you planned on having family over for a barbecue in the afternoon, but she also knew the best way to cure your migraines was to get you the ingredients you needed.
“Would you mind making her a cup of coffee while I’m gone? Be sure to give it to her with a glass of water too, and she’ll ask for cream and sugar but don’t give her any because she needs black coffee for it to actually help her.” The instructions fell from Nico’s mouth in a hurry, and he shocked himself when he realized that he still knew this small tidbit of you. Knowing you was like riding a bike, Nico thought. He didn’t think he’d be able to forget you if he tried.
Your mom’s eyes sparkled with adoration at Nico’s order. “Should I make her any food?” She was half asking because she did want to help you if she could, but the other half of her just wanted to see what Nico would reply.
He didn’t disappoint. “Not now, no. She always takes some buttered toast with her pills and ginger ale, but I have to go and get that stuff first. I don’t need to get any bread, do I?”
Your mother shook her head, and suddenly Nico felt sheepish. Which he shouldn’t have since your family still believed you were dating, but in all the family events you took him to, he didn’t think he’d ever shown so much affection for you then than he did just now.
“You better get going,” your mother said, smiling at the blush slowly creeping across Nico’s cheeks.
The trip into town and back took forty-five minutes since Nico sped as much as he could without raising suspicion and enlisted the help of a teenage clerk to show him where everything was so he didn’t waste any time looking.
He had everything you needed: cold pack for your head, pills for the migraine, eye mask to block out the light, ginger ale for whatever magical purpose it worked on you when you were sick, and the few obscure snacks you absolutely needed to eat when the headaches hit. Some of your rituals were weird and Nico didn’t think they really helped in any medical sense, but he also knew that if you skipped even one step you’d be out for the entire day.
You hadn’t moved an inch since Nico left, and he found you in the same position with your cold towel no longer cold. The coffee cup was nearly empty on the nightstand, which was the best Nico could usually get out of you since you detested plain black coffee.
“You didn’t drink any water,” Nico noticed and tutted his disapproval while he unloaded the rations from the grocery bag.
You grunted your own disapproval as Nico divided up the proper amount of pills for you to take. He placed the pills in one hand and the glass of water in the other hand, and you took them gingerly, moving as little as possible to swallow them.
“Toast time,” you whimpered.
“I’ll go make it in a minute,” Nico said. He eased the towel from your face and patted your skin dry before sliding the eye mask over your head and then the cold pack on your forehead.
Things started to look up after you blindly ate your toast that you washed down with a glass of ginger ale when Nico gently maneuvered your body until your head was in his lap so he could massage your throbbing temples.
“You don’t have to stay here. You should go help my parents get ready for the barbecue later,” you said. “I’ll probably end up taking a nap soon anyway.” As good as the massage felt, it wasn’t Nico’s responsibility to care for you anymore, and you already felt bad enough for everything he’s done for you this trip.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind,” Nico replied, sending a flurry of butterflies through your stomach.
“Yes, I feel bad enough already. Please go do something more fun than this,” you groaned and attempted to push him off the bed, though with your depleted strength it was a gentle nudge at best.
Nico didn’t put up much of a fight after that, knowing you well enough to understand that you meant what you said and also needed to be alone to recover. It only took a few minutes after that for you to fall back into a dreamless sleep, hoping that when you woke up that this migraine from hell would be gone.
-
Even after years of bringing Nico around, it still baffled you how well he fit into your family. It baffled you in general just how well-liked he was by everyone.
After sleeping off the migraine and chugging another glass of water with pills, you managed to peel yourself from bed to join your family out back. You kept on a pair of dark sunglasses as an extra precaution, and even with the shades shielding your face, you still managed to lock eyes with Nico the minute you stepped outside to greet your mother.
In a motherly fashion, she patted your cheeks in her hands and checked for any sign of distress on your face before declaring you were well enough to fetch more fruit from the kitchen. Across the yard stood Nico, who was currently playing goalie for your tiny cousins’ soccer game, and he flashed you a bright smile at the eye roll intended for your mother.
After grabbing another bowl of strawberries for the patio table, you strode across the grass to check in with your ‘boyfriend.’
“Auntie!” Your niece crashed into your legs before you got within ten feet of Nico.
“Hey, bug.” You scooped her up in your arms and continued on your path.
“Are you going to play with us?” She asked hopefully, batting those long lashes she got from her mother.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to embarrass Nico by scoring too many goals on him,” you replied, causing her to erupt in a fit of giggles.
“I’ve already scored five on him!” She held up all five fingers right in front of your face.
“She’s on the way to the Women’s National Team, I’m telling you,” Nico confirmed from the goalpost. “You sure you don’t wanna take a shot?” He asked. Then he dove dramatically to the side on a shot by another cousin of yours, easily letting the ball through his side.
There was a cocky smirk on his face, put there to intentionally rile you up as he added an extra eyebrow wiggle. And if it weren’t for the cheers and screams of six kids under the age of ten yelling for you to do it, you would’ve passed. But you were nothing if not competitive and easily swayed.
You set your niece back on the ground and one of the kids kicked the ball over to you. You’d played these silly backyard games with your family in the past and with Nico, and you knew enough about how he played hockey to know he preferred his left side over his right.
By no means were you a soccer superstar, especially compared to Nico who played two-touch with the team before every game, so you banked on him acting predictably.
“I’m not going easy on you,” he said as you dribbled the ball in front of the goal.
“When have you ever?” You quipped with a smirk of your own.
He bent his knees and got into position, which was a funny image considering the goal wasn’t all that big to begin with. You kicked the ball between your feet a few times to get a feel for it before you took off towards him.
His eyes zeroed in on the ball, intently tracking its movements as you went in on the right side. Your foot reared back to kick before you passed it to the left, a move Nico expected and followed easily. At the last second, right when he committed for the dive as your leg swung back, you spun around and kicked the ball back to the right.
With Nico on the ground, you let out a victorious laugh, taking your sweet time in squaring yourself up to take the shot into the open goal.
Choruses of cheers sounded behind you, both the kids and adults from the patio chiming in as you raised your arms in celebration. Nico laughed from his position on the grass, sitting on his ass with arms resting on bent knees.
“You thought I’d go for your weak side, huh?” You asked, strolling over to his hunched figure.
“Nice shot,” he said, rubbing his hands off of dirt.
You extended a hand towards Nico to pull him up, but you underestimated Nico’s pettiness and sore loser attitude because the next thing you knew you were on the grass too and half rolled under Nico’s body.
“Sore loser,” you laughed underneath him.
Nico’s smile was almost as bright as the sun shining above him, illuminating him in a golden halo that had your breath catching in your throat. “You’re a sore winner,” he remarked, poking your side.
The sweet moment only lasted a second longer before your nephew was jumping on both of you, inserting himself in the middle and effectively starting a dogpile of tiny children. One by one they tackled you until Nico was completely blocked from your view, replaced by cherub cheeks and sweat.
“Okay, okay, I think that’s enough for now,” Nico’s voice sounded from above you somewhere, and you got a brief peek of your cousin hanging from his back like a monkey.
Gently, he moved the kids to the side and off of you all while balancing the kid clinging to his shoulders until he could extend a hand to you.
Your cousin jumped off when Nico bent down to help you up, steadying you with both hands while you pushed to your feet. Fingers picked at pieces of grass and leaves sticking out your hair, and you brushed off the dirt dusting Nico’s shirt.
“Are you feeling better?” He asked, removing a smudge from your cheek with his thumb.
Summer always looked good on Nico. The sun did wonders to tan Nico’s skin and always made his brown hair look lighter, and when the light caught his eyes they resembled melted honey.
You cleared your throat and stepped out of his hold. “Much better. Thanks again for everything this morning,” you said. “I’m going to get some water.”
It had been so long since you had Nico’s hands on you, or his attention for that matter, and you momentarily forgot how intoxicating it was to be near him: to have his scent surrounding you, to have his arms around you, to have his eyes on you and looking at you like that. It messed with your head.
“You and Nico are so adorable,” an aunt commented while you helped yourself to a glass of water.
“Thanks,” you replied with a tight smile.
“And he’s so good with kids,” another aunt chimed in.
Nico had started a game of keep away with the kids, acting as the monkey in the middle that they were trying to keep the ball from. “Yeah, he is,” you said, your tone genuine.
More comments about Nico’s suitability came into the conversation, but you pushed them out. It was getting easier with the passing days to ignore them and all their comments because even if you weren’t together anymore, they were all true. Nico was a good person and he did treat you well before everything fell apart. He was good with kids and caring and compassionate. Hell, he’d agreed to this weekend knowing the stress it would put on him, but he did it because he was inherently good.
But damn was it going to suck breaking the news to them in a few months.
-
Emily held the latter still while you stood on the highest rung, hooking the string lights along the wooden beams across the ceiling and looping them intricately per your cousin’s instructions.
“You can do this yourself, you know,” you huffed after her third ‘no, not like that’ order.
“I’m the bride. What I say goes, remember?” She smiled sweetly below you. “Besides, you’ll be the one calling the shots soon enough when it’s your turn. You can get your revenge then.”
The ladder step slips out from underneath your right foot, and you go stumbling downwards. Emily gasps below you while you scramble to find purchase on the metal rungs, clinging your arms around the side and catching yourself on the third step.
“Oh god. Are you okay?” Emily asked, coming to steady you with her hands after you stopped moving.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you grunted. There was probably going to be a bruise on your thigh after this ordeal.
“What’s wrong? Did I say something?” Emily questioned. She paused for a moment then gasped. “Oh my god. Did Nico bring up marriage or something?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “No. Not exactly.”
Confusion settled over her face. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” you said quickly and pulled yourself up slowly. “Do you wanna hand me the other end of the string lights?”
“What’s going on, Y/N?” Emily held the lights firmly. “Is something wrong with you and Nico?”
You hesitated, biting your lip in contemplation while she waited for a response.
“You know you can talk to me, right?”
And maybe it was the soft tone of her voice or the concerned look in her eyes, or maybe it was the combination of an exhausting week of lies and deceit taking its toll on you, but you broke at her words.
“Nico and I broke up,” you replied, slowly climbing back down until you were on solid ground.
“Broke up when? When did you guys get back together?” She asked.
“Broke up almost two months ago,” you answered. “We didn’t get back together.”
It took Emily a minute to process your words, her mouth opening to respond before shutting again. Her eyebrows drew further together and she crossed her arms. “What do you mean you didn’t get back together? What’s he doing here then?”
“I asked him to come back with me as a favor,” you said sheepishly, averting her gaze.
“Oh, honey,” she cooed softly. Grabbing your hands, she led you over to one of the dinner tables set up for the wedding and sat you down. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Everyone loves him,” you scoffed. “I already told everyone he was coming, and it’s not like I can fake a hockey emergency in the middle of the summer. I didn’t want to take any attention away from you with everyone pitying me.”
“Why’d you break up? Did he do something stupid?” Her eyes turned sharp. “Do I need to kill him for you? What did he do?”
“Nothing,” you said. Her eyes narrowed in challenge. “Promise.”
“If it was nothing then why’d you break up?”
“Honestly? I don’t know,” you sighed. “It was like we fell apart, I guess. I don’t know. We just stopped caring about each other’s lives. He stopped calling when he was away from home, and I stopped waiting up for him at night. We stopped going on dates and making time for us. It was like the spark died and we didn’t know what we were doing together anymore.”
“And he still came back? It doesn’t sound like he stopped caring about you if he did that.”
“He’s a good guy. You know him.”
“I do know Nico, and I know he’s a terrible liar. I haven’t seen him upset or uncomfortable once this week being with you. I wouldn’t have even been able to tell you two weren’t still in love.”
“Well, he loves you guys.”
“He loves us because we’re your family,” she pointed out. “What about you? Do you still care about him?”
“Of course I do.” There was no hesitation in your answer. “It’s just—”
“Weird.” You both said at the same time.
“You know, when David and I took a break, I thought we would never get back together. I was twenty and thought I had my whole life ahead of me. And looking back, the space was good for us. I don’t think we would still be together now if we hadn’t taken that year apart and figured some stuff out about ourselves,” she confessed. “You’re young, and sometimes you need time apart from someone to discover what you truly want.”
“This week with Nico has been so confusing,” you admitted. “It’s like he’s the perfect boyfriend from when we first started dating. He took care of me the other day when I got a migraine and helps my mom cook dinner and remembers small things about me. He even went to town with me to run all your dumb wedding errands and didn’t complain. The way he’s been acting this week makes me question why we even broke up in the first place.”
She hummed quietly beside you.
“What’s that look for?” You asked.
“What look?” She smirked.
“Just say what you’re thinking, Em.” You rolled your eyes. “I know you’re dying to give advice.”
“It’s not my place to tell you what to do,” Emily started cautiously, “but I do think he still cares about you.”
“But do you think Nico’s it for me?” You played with the hem of your shirt, pulling at a loose thread.
She shrugged. “Who’s to say? I’d like to think so because I love him, but I also love him for you. I’ve never seen you light up like you do when you’re around him, and he’s always looking at you like you’re the North Star; always somehow knowing exactly where you’re at in a crowded room and always gravitating towards you whether or not he realizes it. Even now he still looks at you like that,” she remarked. “If you guys find your way back to each other, it was meant to be. And if you don’t, he’s not the end of your world. Either way you’re going to be okay. I’m sorry you felt like you had to lie to everyone this week.”
It was your turn to shrug. “It hasn’t been the worst, I guess. Definitely better than dodging everyone’s ‘so what happened?’ questions. Knowing dad, he’d probably lie and say he never liked Nico to make me feel better even though I’m sure he would date Nico himself if he could.”
Emily laughed at that, nodding along to agree with your statement. “If it gets too much, feel free to dip out tomorrow whenever you want. I know everyone can be a lot sometimes.”
You squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. “Thanks, Em. We’ll be fine though. Just two more days, right?”
-
Later that evening everyone had gathered in the barn reserved for the reception, the one you helped set up earlier that day with your family. Save for the tablecloths and centerpieces, everything was in place and ready for the big day tomorrow.
The rehearsal dinner consisted of just your close family for tonight and gave both David and Emily’s side time to mingle and get to know each other before the eventual ceremony while also thanking everyone for their help in planning and setting up for the wedding.
Once the best man and maid of honor speeches were done and everyone had eaten and the rehearsal dinner was finished, more drinks started flowing and a few more impromptu speeches were given. They were nothing scripted or long, mostly just family members extending their congratulations to the happy couple, but you still weren’t prepared by the time the microphone made its way to you.
Nico patted your thigh encouragingly as you stood up.
“Emily was my best friend growing up. She snuck me desserts from the kitchen when I was a kid and taught me how to tie my shoes. She even took me shopping for my first thong when I was in high school and was too scared to ask my mother.” Everyone chuckled while your mom shook her head at you. “She was always someone I looked up to and aspired to be: a successful career woman and a loving partner.”
“I’ve known David since the first time I caught them kissing in the driveway when he dropped her off at Thanksgiving, and Emily gave me five dollars to promise not to mention anything to the family. I was thirteen,” you said. “And throughout the years, I got to watch them grow as individuals and as a couple, and I couldn’t imagine a better man for my cousin. Even when they broke up in college, Emily always told me she’d marry him, and she was right.”
“I’ve been so blessed to grow up with incredible role models and literal couple goals, and everything I could hope to have in a relationship one day is what they have. So congratulations guys, I love you both.”
You felt unexpectedly uncomfortable when your speech concluded, heat rising to every surface of your body as you collapsed back into your seat. Nico’s hand immediately reached out for yours, squeezing reassuringly as the next person took the mic from you. You were scared to meet Nico’s eyes, opting to take a large drink of your champagne before casting him a sidelong glance.
His eyes were soft and full of emotion, a tight smile on his lips as he squeezed your hand again. You okay? His face asked silently, concern etched across his features.
Not in the slightest, you thought, but you managed to send him a tight nod anyway.
“Nice season this year, by the way, Nico,” your aunt gushed after the final speech ended.
You knew it was only a matter of time before someone brought up hockey as it was a popular topic around your professional athlete boyfriend. As far as you knew growing up, your family didn’t even like hockey and two years later they were experts in all things Devils. Well, all things Devils past 2015. Your parents had even called Nico when he was promoted to captain to tell him congratulations.
“You guys are definitely heading in the right direction,” your uncle chimed in.
“Thanks.” Nico nodded his appreciation. “We still have a long way to go, but we just take it one day at a time.”
“Heartbreaking way to end the season, though. Sorry about that,” your aunt sympathized with a frown.
She was referring to all his injuries, which had remedied themselves just in time for the end of the season to roll around, but sadly it wasn’t enough for them to get into a playoff position.
“Not as heartbreaking as Y/N’s year though,” your mom said, causing you to straighten your spine in defense.
“Damned West Coasters,” your dad huffed. “If they didn’t want my baby, they don’t deserve her.”
Nico sent you a sideways glance, a question in his eyes that he didn’t voice because if there was anything Nico learned in the last few years, it was how to read your social cues. So he played along with the family until he could corner you later.
“Yeah, it was a shame.” He took your hand comfortingly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before bringing it to his own lap.
Thankfully, the conversation didn’t linger on you much longer before your uncle was launching into a different story about something completely unrelated like the annoying neighbor he had that didn’t know how to properly trim hedges or understand property lines.
Nico’s gaze shot back to you briefly, one that you met with a sheepish expression and you understood what he was saying immediately.
We’re not done discussing this.
-
“You should’ve told me.” Nico’s soft voice jolted you back to reality, disturbing the silent night you were taking comfort in.
You escaped the party as quickly as you could to take a breather outside, finding solace in the empty patio porch out back while the party continued on inside.
“What difference would it have made?” You chuckled humorlessly.
A glance over your shoulder revealed Nico standing in the side exit, the door shut behind him and secluding you from the party. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned casually against the wood, tie undone around his neck and hair disheveled.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything either way.” You mindlessly drummed your fingertips on the railing.
The back porch overlooked nothing but vast, empty land, but the real sight you were here for were the stars. In the city, the stars were so hard to see sometimes, but out here in the country they lit up the sky like a million tiny fireflies.
“Maybe not,” he shrugged, pushing off the side to walk over to you. “That doesn’t mean you should’ve gone through it alone.”
He came to a stop next to you at the rail, mimicking your stance identically. “I didn’t even know you wanted to do all that, and I’m not even sure I fully know now what it is you wanted. You never mentioned it to me.”
It was your turn to shrug now. “I didn’t know either,” you said quietly. By the end of your relationship, it wasn’t like you and Nico talked much about what was going on in your personal lives. “Besides, I didn’t think I’d get into the program, and I didn’t. It was some respected company in California that would’ve taken up six months of my time. There was no point in getting anyone’s hopes up. I only told my mom because she always bothers me for information and telling her about the partnership seemed safer than talking about our failing relationship.”
“When did you find out?”
“Mid-April.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Even when we had all our shit going on I still cared,” he questioned.
“Honestly?”
“Always.”
“I didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted. “I knew you had your own shit going on with the team and injuries, and I didn’t want to add to your stress. It’s not like we were close at the end. It didn’t seem fair to dump my shit on you too.”
You fiddled with a piece of some chipped paint. “And I was embarrassed,” you added. “I put in all that hard work in my application for nothing. They didn’t want me. I was disappointed in myself.”
“Oh, honey,” Nico said. With one movement he took your fidgeting hand within yours.
You still refused to meet his eyes, ashamed of the tears that began welling there. It had been three months since the rejection email came in, and you thought you were over it. You really did.
Nico shifted your body to face his, bracketing you in between him and the railing. One hand tilted your chin up to meet his gaze while the other held your waist comfortingly. Those butter soft eyes of his only made the tears threaten to spill over. This is exactly why you didn’t tell him. You couldn’t handle the pity.
“And now you feel sorry for me.” You let your head fall forward to his chest in defeat.
“I feel sorry you went through that all alone.” He stroked your neck gently. “Had you told me, I would’ve said you’re not a disappointment and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. From what I heard it was highly prestigious and selective. To be in the final round is an achievement itself. And there’s always next year, right? Other programs? You’re not a disappointment.”
They were words you needed to hear but hated to admit it. It’s one thing when your parents told you ‘oh, well you did your best sweetheart’ because they were obligated to support you, but it was another thing entirely when the love of your life was comforting you.
“Thanks,” you croaked, lifting your head slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I’m sorry I was a shitty boyfriend and that you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” he apologized.
“I’m sorry I was a shitty girlfriend,” you said. “I should’ve put in more effort to fix us.”
“Hey, we were both to blame.” His thumb ran over your cheek in soothing circles. “I miss you though, you know?”
“Yeah,” you sighed wistfully, knowing the feeling well. “I do know.”
“We weren’t so bad together though, were we?”
“No, but we weren’t great either, Nico,” you chuckled. “Remember all the late nights and unread texts and missed dates?”
“I try to remember all the vacations and post-game celebrations and midday movie marathons.” He smiled weakly.
“It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t all clouds and thunderstorms either.” His index finger tilted your chin up just the slightest. “Would it be bad of me to say I wanted to kiss you right now? You looked really pretty tonight, and I don’t know if I told you that.”
“Yes.” It came out breathy and didn’t help your case in trying to dissuade him, but you made no indication to move away from him either way.
The telling smirk on his face said he knew what you were thinking. You wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you. So you did.
Damn the consequences that would come from kissing your ex that was pretending to still be your boyfriend, he looked too good in his dress pants and baby blue button up with the top two buttons undone, giving you the slightest peek of his chain underneath. You grabbed the back of his neck with your hand and crushed your lips to his.
It was full of passion and urgency, both of you making up for the two months apart and overcome with the emotions the wedding atmosphere brought out.
Nico deepened the kiss with a slide of his tongue into your mouth, claiming you with the force of a man possessed by need. Hands dropped to squeeze your ass. “It’s probably even worse if I suggested we get out of here, huh?”
“Terrible idea,” you confirmed, taking a moment to catch your breath before going in for another kiss. “Let’s go now before someone comes looking for us.”
The short drive back to the rental house was a blur with Nico speeding along the back roads to get home as quickly as possible just in case any of your family members decided to check out of the party early.
You shuffled to your shared room in the dark, bumping into the wall nearly three times on the way there, and locked the door with a click behind you. Walking Nico backwards, you knocked him onto the bed and clambered on top of him in a frenzy while working your fingers on the rest of his buttons.
His hand guided your mouth back to his as you worked on his shirt, shoving it down his arms after untucking it from his pants and throwing it to the side carelessly. The hem of your dress rode up your thighs as you straddled Nico’s lap, shamelessly grinding yourself along the bulge of his pants to pull a pained groan from him.
“We should probably talk about this,” Nico managed to grit out, eyes casting upwards towards the ceiling in agony.
“We can talk later,” you said, tugging the rest of your dress up over your hips to give you unrestricted access to rub your barely covered pussy against him. “I need you so bad.”
Nico was hard as granite under you, and you watched him visibly gulp as he considered his options. The more logical part of his brain knew you should discuss sleeping together before doing it and the repercussions it would have on your relationship, but the reckless part of his brain couldn’t get over how beautiful you looked above him and how good you felt on him.
Future Nico could deal with the fallout. Present Nico needed to be inside you before he combusted.
You raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for his go-ahead.
“Fuck, okay. We’ll talk later.” Your hands immediately went to his belt buckle and zipper. “You’re still on birth control, right?”
You nodded your response, taking his cock out of his pants and giving it a couple tentative squeezes. Nico gripped your hips tightly as he released a loud moan, and you gave him another leisurely pump before rising above him, shoving your panties to the side, and lining him up with your entrance.
Nico guided you onto his length until he was seated to the hilt and your thighs made contact with his. You palmed his shoulders as pleasure rang through your body.
Fingertips dug into your ass when you tried to move. “Give me a second.” His voice was raspy and breathless. “It’s been a couple months, and fuck, you’re tight.”
You tried not to think about him not having sex in a couple of months and the implication that he probably hadn’t fucked anyone since you, but your walls reflexively clenched around him at his words.
Instead, you busied yourself with another kiss, tangling your fingers in his soft locks and taking his slack mouth in yours.
You waited for Nico to shift beneath you to let you know he was ready before rolling your hips forward and off his cock just to sink back down when you rocked back. Synchronous moans left both of you at the drag of Nico’s cock along your walls, and his hands found their home on your hips to help move you the way he wanted.
It’d been so long for you, since you and Nico broke up, that every slide of his cock into you had you spiraling towards that edge in record time; especially when one hand grasped your tit and worked your nipple between two fingers and the other hand fell to stroke your clit in determined circles.
“You close?” He asked, lips brushing against your ear when you leaned down for another kiss.
You gave him a tight nod, eyes falling shut while you focused on the exquisite feeling of him filling you up. Picking up your pace, you bounced harder atop him to bring yourself closer to the edge. A few more thrusts had you cresting that hill, an unrestrained whine mixed with a moan leaving you as you came on Nico’s cock, your walls fluttering and pulsating around him while the thumb on your clit strummed you perfectly.
After your grip on his chest loosened, Nico was flipping you onto your back in a smooth movement, and he hitched a leg over his hip while he pounded you this way. His breath was heavy in your ear as he chased his high, taking only a few more thrusts before he halted and then came inside you.
His moans always sounded so pretty when he came, and mixed with the way he lightly bit your shoulder as he finished, it sparked a second, smaller orgasm to wash over you.
Once Nico came back down, he captured your lips in another kiss; this one softer and slower than your previous ones. Then he slid out of your dripping cunt and rolled to the side in a boneless heap.
You both laid in silence, catching your breaths while you each waited for the other to say something first—to burst the euphoric sex bubble and have reality set back in, but it never came. Wordlessly, you got up from bed and used the bathroom to dress for bed. Nico followed in your steps when you climbed back under the covers and came back shirtless and in a pair of clean boxers before tucking himself in beside you.
Neither of you said a thing as Nico folded himself around your back, nestling himself nice and cozy against you and wrapping an arm around your middle to pull you in deep.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered with a kiss on your shoulder.
“Goodnight, Nico,” you repeated back, making yourself comfortable in his hold.
‘We’ll talk tomorrow’ was the unsaid conclusion you both came to that neither of you minded. But for tonight, you’d enjoy what you had.
-
Emily stole your breath walking down the aisle, the long white train of her wedding dress catching the red rose petals as she drew closer to the altar. You all raised out of your seats when the music started playing, standing with Nico in a row near the front with your brother and his family on your other side.
The weather was perfect for an outdoor July wedding, the clouds providing just enough cover to keep the heat from becoming sweltering. A long white carpet extended through the aisle that led to a beautiful floral altar overlooking a large expanse of fields.
Nico stood on the edge of the row, giving him a view of everything: the bride, the altar, David tearing up underneath it, but the most important view for Nico was you.
Your skin glowed in the afternoon rays, which also illuminated the pale yellow dress you wore, transforming you into sunlight itself. He couldn’t help but let his eyes flicker back to you despite his efforts to watch Emily walk down the aisle, but nothing compared to how pretty you looked beside him.
He was even more grateful when you were finally seated and you took his hand in yours, resting them both on your thigh. Your intertwined fingers rested comfortably throughout the ceremony, and at one point you even allowed your head to fall on Nico’s shoulder as your eyes filled with tears at their sentimental vows.
Nico produced a tissue he had tucked away for this specific purpose, handing it to you and watching adoringly as you blotted your eyes carefully. Maybe he even took a risk and kissed your temple softly when you were too busy cheering at their walk back down the aisle.
There were a lot of questions unanswered and more problems that needed to be resolved after last night’s slip-up, but Nico was just thankful you didn’t run screaming from him when you woke up in his arms this morning. In fact, you indulged him in a few minutes of conscious cuddling before pulling away to get ready for the day.
And maybe he was seeing things, but Nico swore your stare lingered on him for longer than normal over breakfast pancakes and that you nudged his foot with yours under the table, but he could’ve also been delirious and shamelessly hopeful.
Even at the reception, you sat closer to him at the table than you did the night before, occasionally letting your elbows knock together or letting your thighs brush momentarily. You didn’t shy away from his grasp like you normally did when you mingled with other guests, seamlessly introducing him as your boyfriend to strangers and leaning in closer to his touch. And when Nico pulled you onto the dancefloor, you twirled happily in his arms for three whole songs, whatever awkwardness that had been surrounding you all week was gone for those ten glorious minutes.
“Stop staring at my cake.” Nico laughed. “Just go get another piece.”
After burning off all the calories from dinner, you settled back down for dessert and easily tore through your own slice of cake. And Nico knew you had your sights set on his slice now.
“You took the largest piece. I’m not hungry enough for a whole slice. I just want one more bite.” You batted your eyelashes at him. “Please.”
Nico rolled his eyes but scooped up a chunk of cake on his fork and held it in front of your face. You gladly opened your mouth to take the bite. He watched with heated eyes as you licked the remaining frosting off your lips, and without overthinking his next move, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss.
It was chaste and sweet and only lasted a second before Nico pulled back, the sweet taste of icing now coating his mouth.
“Nico…” Your voice was strained, your eyes downcast.
“Let’s take a walk,” he said, standing up abruptly.
The night was winding down already, a couple people had already left the reception and those who remained were well on the way to getting drunk. You looked around hesitantly.
“Come on.” Nico held his hand out for you to take. “No one will mind us leading a little early. Besides, we have some stuff to talk about.”
“I guess we do, don’t we?” You took his hand and let him lead you away.
Nico gave you the opportunity to say goodbye to Emily and David, but you skipped on telling the rest of your family lest they try to convince you to stay.
The July air had chilled significantly since the afternoon, but it was a welcome cool compared to the stifling air in the barn.
Nico’s hand still held yours as he steered you towards the backyard area, leading you down a cobblestone trail that continued into a thick copse of trees.
“I don’t think this is the way back to the house,” you commented as you traveled further into the woods, the trail illuminated by the occasional lamppost stuck in the ground.
“I figured this would be easier than trying to talk it out at the house with your parents and family there. And I found this cool spot when I was helping your dad set up yesterday.”
The destination came into view just a few short minutes later, a small wooden gazebo in a garden clearing, completely vacant and adorned in hanging lanterns. In the middle rested a large bench.
You both sat on the old bench, close enough to still hold hands but not nearly as close as you were back at the reception. The chirping of cicadas engulfed you from all sides while you sat in silence, internally debating how to address the situation.
“So I was—”
“We should—”
You nodded for Nico to go first.
“Last night was incredible,” he started, glancing down to your intertwined fingers. “For me, at least. This whole week with you has been great, really. Your family, the wedding, you, everything. I wanted to know if it was as good for you as it was for me.”
“Yeah. It was,” you admitted with a sigh. “It has me all different kinds of confused if I’m being honest.”
Nico’s chin tilted down in agreement. “Yeah. I know.”
Another silence filled the air between you.
“I think this week made me realize how much I missed you. How much I missed us,” you said. “And not us at the end where we didn’t even want to be around each other but us before everything went to shit.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever missed anyone as much as I’ve missed you these past months,” he confessed. “What do we do? What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. We can’t go on like it is now, and we certainly can’t go back to how it was. I don’t know what other option is left.”
“Then we’ll start over.”
“Nico…” you scoffed. “We already know everything about each other. We can’t just start over.”
“Who says we can’t? You said it yourself we can’t exist like this and we can’t go back. The only other option is to start over. It’ll be our version of a do-over,” he said.
“And how would that even work?”
He shrugged. “We start from square one. Start with the dates and weekly phone calls and go on from there. I’ll give it some time before I ask you to be my girlfriend and then you’ll start spending the night. Slowly you’ll infiltrate my apartment like you did the first time by leaving some extra clothes around and bringing your own throw blankets.” He grinned as he reminisced. “We’ll do it all over and do it right this time. We’ll talk when shit gets hard and not let other obligations monopolize all our time.”
Nico lifted his arm to sling it around your shoulder, all the while keeping your hands connected. You leaned into his embrace and rested your head on his shoulder.
“What happens if I want to apply to another program that takes me away from New Jersey?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but now that I know that’s something you want, we can work out a plan. God knows I have enough money to fly you back whenever you want, and we’ll always have the summer. It’ll be a temporary problem that’ll require a temporary solution. Past that? Who knows, but we can figure it out.”
“You sound pretty confident for a guy who ignored my text messages for days on end just a few months ago,” you chuckled.
He laughed at your joke and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ve done a lot of growing up,” he teased. “But it’s like you said with David and Emily. They needed their time apart, but you always knew they were meant for each other. I think you’re meant for me and maybe that was supposed to be our time apart.”
“How philosophical and romantic of you,” you remarked with a smirk.
“It’s the wedding vibes,” he replied. “And don’t act like you weren’t crying earlier at the vows.”
“Only if you admit they made you tear up as well.” You had seen the slight sheen of tears in his eyes after the ceremony.
Nico elected to ignore your comment. “So what do you say?”
“To starting over?” He hummed in acknowledgement. “You really think we can do it?”
“I don’t know, to be honest, but I think we have a much better chance than last time. And we’ll never know until we try, and I really want to try with you.”
You gave it a moment to ruminate. There was no doubt it wouldn’t be easy, especially since you knew that you did want to leave New Jersey at some point, but somehow even that fact didn’t bring you down. Maybe knowing everything you knew from last time would set you on a better path this time around. And there was no way to know unless you tried.
“Okay,” you said softly. “Let’s give it another try.”
“Really? You want to?”
“Yeah. I do. I want this with you.”
You looked up at him then, gazes connecting and a mutual compromise was reached. One more try.
“Should we get back to the party?” You asked, after a considerable pause of longing stares.
“Not yet,” Nico answered, and then he leaned forward to peck you sweetly. “I wanna spend a little more time here with you. We can count this as our first date.”
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