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musashi · 3 years

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Hey Sky!!! I haven't had much time to play recently because work and burnout but I'm desperately craving SS lore so!! Some questions!

Were there any holidays on Skyloft (that were unique or resembled our own?)? What one was your favourite!!!

Are funerals different on Skyloft? There's a graveyard I found, but its a really small island wouldn't you run out of room?

Was Skyloft bigger than it shows in game?? 0:

Where do the Loftwings sleep at night!! There's no aviary anywhere is there??

Before you could go to the surface, did you ever touch the cloud barrier or would your loftwing not go anywhere near it?

Were big weather phenomenons common?? Did it rain above the clouds???

Is there any rhyme or reason to why the knight uniform is a certain colour each year? Does it correspond with anything or picked at random?

(Were you hoping for green, or another colour?)

Did you have a favourite spot to jump off and call for Aepon?? In game I like climbing the big tower (where you first find groose) and free falling for a lil bit hehe

Also what does Fi feel like?? Is she solid or smooth does she give good hugs I know she's probably not one to give them but every time I see her I am wrapping my arms around her and hugging her anyway I love her ;v;

Annnnd thats it for now!!! I will return with more eventually tho :D

ah i know how it be! but i hope you can have more fun in skyloft soon. these are all really good questions i got SO excited when i saw them ehehe~

kin ramblings below the cut!

Were there any holidays on Skyloft (that were unique or resembled our own?)? What one was your favourite!!!

we had so many festivals and street fairs i cannot remember them all i just remember spending a lot of time either outside at them or running away from them with zelda because i got sensory overload fghfggh. there was a kinda halloween-like one where we all wore masks, i really liked that one! and a festival where we celebrated our loftwings by just taking the day off and spending it with them. i think that was probably my favourite because i could just take a day off and fall asleep on aepon.

i wish i had clearer memories but they all kind of blend together, celebrations in skyloft are always outside with lots of lanterns and pinwheels and confetti and face paint fdghgfg.

Are funerals different on Skyloft? There's a graveyard I found, but its a really small island wouldn't you run out of room?

not everyone gets buried, a lot of knights especially have their remains scattered amongst the clouds. i can't say i have a lot of memories of what funerals are like but one thing i do remember is that levias always came to bless the dead as we remembered them. he would fly above us and sing, guiding souls back to the goddess. i wish i remembered more but i'm gonna be real i dissociated through the only funeral i ever went to.

Was Skyloft bigger than it shows in game?? 0:

slightly, but not much! there were WAY more houses but it is a very small community with not a lot of room. the game does a pretty good job of like. compacting it ghdfgh.

Where do the Loftwings sleep at night!! There's no aviary anywhere is there??

god ok i learned this at the academy at some point but i was half paying attention i can't remember the exact intricacies of it. i think they have their own, like, territory that they nest in. its obviously not in the map in game its like its own thing very special kin memory exclusive. iirc they don't let humans get close unless they NEED our intervention and very few people have ever actually seen the fabled Loftwing Sanctuary(tm) there's just some written records of what its like.

Before you could go to the surface, did you ever touch the cloud barrier or would your loftwing not go anywhere near it?

it made aepon nervous so i didn't bother. though i was told he was a lot less nervous than most? loftwings have a natural aversion to the cloud barrier and knights have to gradually expose them to it to train them to fly lower. apparently aepon was a low flyer to begin with but i could still feel his heart racing and panic whenever we dove.

he hated getting near it and the first time i had to drop into one of the breaches we circled it for like ten minutes because i kept having to calm him down. its unnatural for a loftwing to drop their partner without the intent to catch them again and he had a rough time!!!

Were big weather phenomenons common?? Did it rain above the clouds???

not much weather up there but every once in a while storms would form in thunderheads like the one in the game. they would very occasionally form over skyloft, and thats when you'd get weather.

it stormed and rained enough that i'd consider it, like, normal. no snow tho! i never saw snow until the surface it scared the shit outta me.

aepon loved thunderstorms! he always wanted to go flying in them. he'd give me the biggest puppy eyes. up until my junior year they were one of our favourite things to do together despite the protests of everyone we knew x3

Is there any rhyme or reason to why the knight uniform is a certain colour each year? Does it correspond with anything or picked at random?

i think it's just random. either that or owlan just has a bunch of paint chips taped to a wall and he and horwell get drunk and throw darts at them. i like that better.

(Were you hoping for green, or another colour?)

red was my favourite colour, i was hoping for a brighter shade of it than the darker red the knights a decade or so back got. blue was my second choice because it brings out my eyes~ was not expecting green because green was the colour like, two years back? but a brighter green. literally blindsided me entirely. probably would have guessed every other colour before green.

cannot believe that is the colour i accidentally forced dozens of reincarnations to wear. its so fucking funny. it does look good tho.

Did you have a favourite spot to jump off and call for Aepon?? In game I like climbing the big tower (where you first find groose) and free falling for a lil bit hehe

god the light tower is prime jumping spot ur right... i fell asleep on the edge with the waterfall a lot, that whole place was bliss if i could catch it grooseless. the pumpkin patch. the stray remlit. the shady tree and sound of water perfect for naps. some days i wanted to just sleepily roll off the edge and land on aepon's back lol. that's probably where i called him most often, given how much time i spent there~

i never know how to answer this in an accessible way i always just want to say she feels exactly how she looks she'd feel dghfg

her face is metal and her 'clothes' are clothes... her dress is like. velvety? but in a way that doesn't make my skin crawl (i don't like that texture fdgdf) and the trim on it is golden and shiny and smooth and good. the only thing thats weird is her wingarms because they phase in and out of corporeality. like you can feel the fabric of them but it feels so light its like you're touching a ghost. i get the impression she can control this. i do not know why. i mean she can turn into light and phase through things so she probably can.

she can give good hugs, its just very interesting circumstances, if that makes sense? if she believes a hug will yield a favourable outcome she will give the best hug she is capable of. there were a number of times where she hugged me because i broke down a lot and fi had the data to prove that physical contact was important. human beings need approximately eight hugs a day to achieve balanced social and emotional health, she'd say. she's great.

she didn't initiate physical contact unless i was in crisis but she didn't shy away from it when i would pointlessly hug her either. we found our rhythm hehe. her hugs were very soft and loose like a blanket being wrapped around my shoulders. sometimes cold. she was always the temperature of her blade though so if we were somewhere hot i got warm sword hugs heehoo~ i love fi

#kin ramblings #frogswampert #wendy answers #THANK YOU FOR THESE SCREAMS

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whatthefoucault · 5 years

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A Chronological List of Works by me, whatthefoucault: the Cap Fam Edition

These are the stories largely about members of the Cap Fam - so, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Nat. Stories marked with a * are the bigger works so far, for maximum feels and development, and possibly a comforting alternative to canon. Enjoy!

The Stargazer’s Field Guide To Constellations

By the time Bucky happened upon him, doubled over on the front steps of the library, Steve was already as green as a plate of creamed spinach.

And My Heart Beats So That I Can Hardly Speak

Steve doesn't dance, but this was a special occasion.

(A Few Inches Too Far) Underneath The Mistletoe

It was purely by chance that Steve happened upon a scruffy little sprig of discarded mistletoe on their way back from dinner with the Barnes family.

So Take It From Me, Captain America

"Ok, Captain America PSA number four, take one, and... action."

Sextown, U.S.A.*

The message was vague on details, but the urgency in Wade’s voice told Steve it was serious, and that he should come alone.

“Help me, Steve Rogers,” he pleaded. “You’re my only hope.”

Steve had to admit that that got to him.

(It would be three months before Steve would see Star Wars for the first time. Needless to say, he was not amused when he did.)

... In which two supersoldiers form a very special bond across several time zones, many states, and more all-you-can-eat breakfast than anyone should ever eat in their life.

Advanced Seminar In Postmodern Cultural Analysis, Lesson Five

In which Steve Rogers and his very good friend Wade Wilson hang out.

Continental Breakfast Not Included

Sam had definitely asked for separate beds, but they had been driving since before sunrise, and it was almost midnight.

The Season For Plums*

One day, a man went to the market to buy plums.

Notes From A Dirty Attic*

I don't know what I'm doing.

My name is Bucky. I come from Brooklyn. I died in the war.

Particle-Wave Duality*

While Bucky is napping, Steve reads to him.

Blackout Nights And Tight Spaces

It was cold, then sleep, but it was different this time. He was dreaming.

Caprine Management

In which Steve meets Bucky's new friends.

Two Seat Sofa, Hensta Light Brown*

"So..." Steve hesitated to finish the question, "are we dating?"

(In which Steve and Bucky come home.)

No Less Than Three Kinds of Cheese

The sun was out and the park was beautiful, but it was still too cold for a picnic.

Sugaring

Every morning, Steve sets out from the little cabin to tend to their maple trees.

Butter, Sugar, Flour, Eggs

"What was my grandma's name?" asked Bucky, apropos of nothing.

American Globs

Objectively, he knew everything was fine. He knew they were fireworks, and that they were beautiful, and back in the day, he and Steve used to sit under the stars together and watch them light up the sky with wonder and delight.

But time had passed since then.

It’s Like Right Now

Nat and Sam visit a street food market.

Me And My Baby Gonna Touch That Leather

"I think we should fuck," said Bucky, as Steve began climbing back under the duvet.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

The Nemophilists

“Conspicuous,” said Steve, apropos of nothing. Bucky was putting away the last of the clean dishes.

“Conspicuous?” asked Bucky, nesting the heatproof glass bowl precariously in a short stack of significantly smaller cereal bowls.

“Yeah,” said Steve, scooping last of the leftovers into a container that, it turned out, was a tablespoon too small. “I’m.”

Nemophilist: (n.) One who is fond of the forest.

Long Hair Problems, And How To Outsmart Them

“So I guess we’re not getting up early to line up for brunch?”

The End Of A Century*

This is the story of a sister and her brother.

As the shadow of the war fades and gives way to new conflicts, Becca Barnes battles the constraints of the twentieth century: an education, a marriage, a career, with the ghosts of her youth never far from her memory. As the twenty-first century barrels on through its awkward teenage phase, Bucky Barnes builds a new life, with new friends, and a burgeoning relationship with his lifelong companion Steve, the erstwhile Captain America, as they struggle to find their place in the world. The last time Becca saw her brother was on the eve of war; neither of them expected, some seventy-something years, a hip replacement, and one new arm later, to be reunited.

This is a story about family.

And Our Dreams Are Making Us Nice Stories

Steve had been adamant that a party was unnecessary; however, his friends had insisted, bundling into his little Brooklyn apartment with pizzas and a selection of local microbrews and seven-layer taco dip and two dozen supermarket cupcakes emblazoned with the most neon buttercream he had ever seen piped into the stripes of little American flags.

A Ghost That The Others Can’t See

"What'd you tell her about me?"

"Only the good stuff."

The Littlest Balsam In Brooklyn

In which Bucky and Steve get a tree.

When Life Gives You Limoncello

In which Bucky has baked a pie.

Blessings*

At last, the shape of life after everything had begun to come into focus. Bucky and Steve consider the next steps, and some friends come to visit.

Stargazing

"You know what? Let's get out of the city," Steve suggested after dinner.

(In which Steve has a very quiet birthday.)

The Fundamentals of Sciurine Linguistics

Sam Wilson was sure about three things: the words Captain America were enough to nab a table for two at the most popular noodle bar in the East Village on short notice, everyone loved a good noodle bar, and ramen was up there with corn on the cob and chicken wings as the worst possible food choice for a first date.

Eight Evenings In The Kitchen

The Barnes-Rogers Hanukkristmas season was always going to be one spent almost exclusively in the kitchen.

Light Showers And A Gentle Breeze

They had been under no illusions that there would be a guarantee of snow, but nothing could have quite prepared them for the abundant, relentless sprinkle of rain.

In which Bucky and Steve go somewhere quiet for Christmas.

Strollin’

"Hot dogs?" asked Steve.

"Hot dogs," agreed Bucky.

On A Quiet Morning In The Last Forest In Brooklyn*

“We said we wanted to keep the guest list short,” protested Steve. “Just close family, and close friends. Nothing expensive, nothing... tacky.”

“As if you’re one to complain about tacky,” countered Tony. “I got my invitation by group text. Who does that?”

...in which Bucky and Steve get married.

Sliding Into Second

“Stevie,” said Bucky, his voice tinged with a tired sort of fondness, “you’re a good man, and I know you’d never use the former Captain America's name for something as trivial as, oh I dunno, VIP seats right behind home plate, but…”

... in which the fellas go to a baseball game.

Untitled Goat Game*

A therapy goat, he thought. It was all Bucky could do to keep his eyebrows from furrowing into one megabrow. "Seriously?"

... in which, despite being entirely at home in the big city, Bucky finds himself experiencing a pang of nostalgia for the little herd of goats he looked after back in Wakanda.

The Witches Of Føroyar

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nestled in a little cottage just beyond the rocky shores of a tiny, windswept island, lived two very special people indeed. The green witch drew his power from the moon and the stars and the deep, dark night sky; while the gold witch shone with the power of the sun, dazzling and bright. They loved the island and the mountains and the stormy sea, but most of all, they loved each other very much.

#stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #samnat #samsquirrel #sam wilson #natasha romanoff #doreen green #cartinelli #peggy carter #angie martinelli #writings #masterpost

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chubbyooo · 5 years

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Blurred Lines Chapter 35 - Ilum

ooo boy that was a tense chapter so let’s take a little break and calm down with a trip back to Kavaraa’s pilgrimage (descriptive word of the day is wumph :P)

Kavaraa arrives on Ilum and contemplates the past

Kavaraa zipped up her snowsuit as the ship began to descend to the planet of Ilum, she had no idea how to find the temple once they had arrived but hoped it would become clear once they got there. She was at least prepared for the climate with her big artic snowsuit, she’d learnt her lesson from her trip to hoth long ago that she did not deal well with cold. Since then Kavaraa had decided to have a coat custom made she’d be the first to admit she went a bit overboard with the design. She lifted the hood up fitting her montrals into their sleeves chuckling at the ridiculousness of the look, it was purely functionality over style but she didn’t care her montrals got frightfully cold without them. People told her it made her look like a bunny which she thought was a compliment, she’d also chosen to insulate it as much as possible as to avoid a cold chill and of course the thing had millions of pockets.

As she put on her gloves and snow boots she noticed Kormel lurking outside the door trying to act natural, he’d be there for ages if she didn’t intervene “Kormel do you wanna talk to me?” he seemed caught of guard dragging his feet as he entered the room nervously

he rubbed the back of his head “uh yeah I kinda might need some gear for the uh cold weather d-do you have anything i can borrow” Kavaraa frowned seemed like a lot of fuss over nothing she had plenty of spares no need to be embarrassed

She opened up the cabinet “sure I got some spares although they may be a little big on you, they’re Theron’s size and mine well they have these silly montral cosies on the top” Kormel looked up at the snowsuit Kavaraa had picked out and took it silently. Kavaraa’s expression softened Kormel was far too nervous something was up “so I’m assuming you want to talk about more than borrowing a snowsuit?” Kormel’s eyes went wide as he put on the snowsuit seemingly shrinking at being found out.

He stammered not making eye contact “i uh well yeah I just well do you remember what the Avulo Bysh guy said?” Kavaraa noddded, she’d been meaning to look up Avulo but they’d got so caught up in the pilgrimage that when they got back on the ship she just had a nap instead “well he said this is uh a test to see if we’re um worthy right?” Kavaraa nodded again staying silent she wanted to allow Kormel to say what he was thinking without her input. Kormel finally looked at Kavaraa in the eye “I fell to the dark side at least a little what if I’m not worthy” Kavaraa could see the fear in his eyes and couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

Kavaraa moved forward putting her hand on his shoulder “hey come on bud the fact that you’re even asking those questions is a step in the right direction” she gave a warm smile as Kormel frowned clearly confused

“what do you mean” Kormel sighed still looking fearful

Kavaraa tilted her head “it’s good to be unsure if you’re worthy because doubts about ourselves are some of the things that make us strive to be better people” Kormel began nodding slowly a look of understanding coming across his face “It’s perfectly natural to have doubts but we don’t let them overcome us, we let them fuel us to be better” she gave him a warm smile letting go of his shoulder, he seemed to be reassured of their goal Kavaraa wasn’t entirely sure if any of them were ‘worthy’ but they should at least try. As the conversation ended she felt the ship touch down on the ice of Ilum she was excited for the next leg of her journey she really felt that she was on the right path finally.

They had landed on a ridge not to far from a republic base and were now working out where to go from here. Kavaraa was trying to find the next temple or clue through the force while Theron analysed the area and Kormel messed with the starmap. However Kavaraa wasn’t looking yet she had just been looking across Ilum, the bright white snow and ice reflecting starlight to create a truly stunning visual. But Kavaraa didn’t feel in awe she didn’t have the fondest memories of this place especially given recent events, it had been many years but she still remembered being called in to stop the Sith attack. Empire vs Republic it all felt so trivial now but yet it wasn’t, it was the way the galaxy was going and what was she supposed to do? should she even do anything? was she obligated? she thought we were past that. She put the thoughts to the back of her mind and focussed on trying to find a sense of something special or a potent force connection. She began to focus trying to find the secret clue but as she did she was met with an array of powerful forces causing her to flinch back in pain. She held her head as it throbbed with pain and sighed, right Ilum home of lightsaber crystals is gonna have at least some potent force energy should’ve seen that one coming. She hung her head for a few seconds before she started messing with the snow, she drew a little togruta face with a smile but was disappointed when the wind caused snow to blow over it rendering it just snow.

She sat there for a few more minutes before she heard a voice from behind her “as expected schematics, mining records and other such underground data has elicited nothing on the spooky secret hidden jedi temple” Kavaraa chuckled as Theron sat down next to her “any luck on your end Barsen’thor” Kavaraa gave him a coy grin

“nah it’s a dud there’s too much potent force energy here for me to even sense the place” Kavaraa put her head on her hands pouting

Theron put his arm around her “well let’s hope the kid has something we missed, if you’re done though why are you still out here then it’s freezing?” she told Theron to get a snowsuit like hers but noooooo and now he was gonna be the one whining, she certainly wasn’t cold.

Kavaraa looked out at the icy outcroppings dotted over Ilum “uh I dunno I was just well thinking about last time I was here” Theron nodded letting out a sigh of his own

“the whole Malgus thing?” Kavaraa nodded not making eye contact “look Kav there’s nothing you could’ve done about Oss-” Kavaraa interrupted before Theron could finish

Kavaraa snapped “yeah but there was something we could’ve done!” looking pointedly at Theron before her expression dropped “uh ah sorry I shouldn’t have snapped at you” she fidgeted awkwardly embarrassed she’d let that happen

Theron squeezed her shoulder “It’s ok Kavaraa don’t worry about it” Kavaraa knew she was better than that this place was just bringing it all back.

She stood up taking a deep breath “let’s focus up we should probably scout the area just in case of uh beasts or something” wow great excuse Kavaraa, but to be fair they probably should scout the area while they wait for Kormel

Theron stood up seemingly brushing off the awkward conversation “yeah sure might as well” they began to head towards a somewhat steep but scalable descent off the ridge. They began slowly edging down the hill Theron let out a grumble “man this is steep I can barely balance myself” he was right he was barely keeping himself up, Kavaraa for some reason was not having the same problem

Kavaraa chuckled putting her hands on her hips “really I don’t think it’s that bad maybe if you had allowed me to get you special snow boots you wouldn’t be having this issue” Theron let out a long sigh turning around to head further down. As they began to reach the bottom of the ridge Kavaraa saw Theron lose his balance tumbling down into the snow with a wumph.

Kavaraa let out a snort as Theron picked himself up out of the snow “oh yeah yeah real funny” he wiped his face clean of snow as Kavaraa continued to laugh

She managed to stifle her chuckles for a second “I’m sorry it’s just you gotta admit getting covered in snow is pretty funny” she continued laughing at her dork of a husband

She then noticed Theron begin to grin “oh yeah it probably is pretty funny” and before Kavaraa could react she felt a cold wumph of snow hit her face, she stumbled back nearly falling but managing to maintain her balance.

Kavaraa’s face scrunched up “hey cmon” Theron began laughing to himself

He grinned picking himself up off the floor “you’re right that is pretty funny” he wiped the snow stopping as he noticed a devious grin on Kavaraa’s face

She lifted her arms up “you wanna dance spyboy” as she did she lifted the snow around her with the force as Theron’s eyes widened. Kavaraa unleashed the barrage of snowballs as Theron dived behind a rock, evaded her for now.

After the barrage was over he popped his head over the rock angrily “hey come on the force is definitely fowl play let’s keep this above board” Kavaraa conceded that he had a point

She grinned at him “fine but I’m still gonna wipe the floor with you” she rolled to the ground hiding behind her own rock

Kavaraa could hear a chuckle from Theron “we’ll see about that Barsen’thor” Kavaraa instinctively rose up ready to aim but as she did she spied a snowball heading straight for her that narrowly avoided her traveling just between her montrals as she ducked. She let out a sigh of relief as she scanned the area for that distinct red coat as she did she prepared a small army of snowballs ready to go for Theron when he showed himself. There! she spotted him running between the ridge towards her position she let out a volley of snowballs each narrowly missing him as he slid into a small snow trench. Dang it now he hand the upper hand she began to run closer zigzagging as she went she could see snowballs being fired but only Theron’s hand was visible one hitting her leg. She managed to avoid the rest of the snowballs sliding behind a rock staying there for a few seconds creating snowballs before she jumped over the trench spotting Theron exposed. She rained down fire on him as he began to run getting hit a few times as Kavaraa landed in the trench, she spyed him leaving her vision heading back towards the ridge. She couldn’t let him get away she put together a huge snowball and sprinted out the trench, she was met with the surprise of Theron standing still waiting for her with a huge snowball. Oh no she began to try and slow down as Theron threw the snowball at her it clocked her in the face causing her to fall back onto the ground. She quickly regained her composure though throwing her own snowball at Theron causing him too to fall down next to her. They both caught their breath as they lay next to each other then Kavaraa started giggling to herself and Theron promptly joined in laughing as they lay in the snow. They laughed for a few seconds before they turned to each other

Kavaraa smiled at him “I love you you silly fool” she leant in for a kiss that they held for a few seconds

Theron grinned “you too you cute doofus” they began laughing again as they lay in the snow.

Suddenly Kormel came down the ridge holding the map from before “guys guys guys the map has changed it’s got new coordinates here” he stopped noticing that Kavaraa and Theron were lying on the ground “um sorry am I interrupting something?” Kavaraa giggled loudly as Kormel looked on in confusion...

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sylpheon · 5 years

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ALL OF THEM

….gee, i wonder who this clown is.

angel - what’s one character trait you like about yourself?

already answered!

doll - what’s your favourite outfit?

oh…i have this black skirt that i really love. it’s fitted almost entirely except it flares a bit at the hem, and it reaches a few inches above the knee. i like pairing that with t-shirts, like pokemon, or flowered t-shirts….just anything cozy. sneakers and a backpack. if it’s cold, i wear my flannel.

pumpkin - what’s your favourite weather and why?

cool, but not too cold. cloudy, with a soft, comforting breeze. maybe it smells like rain but it isn’t raining. i just feel the best with this weather.

baby - what makes you feel better when you’re down?

it really depends on what i want. sometimes a nap, sometimes playing a videogame. sometimes cuddling the one i love, or a cat, or both. and sometimes watching old cartoons.

sugarpie - what’s your favourite sweet treat?

ohhh, this is hard. i love cake, and my favorite kind of cake is spice cake. i also love cheesecake, and i’m a big fan of iced coffee and milkshakes.

kitten - are you a dog person or a cat person?

i love both to death, but i think i’m definitely more partial to cats.

princess - if you could live in any other time period, which would it be?

why would i go anywhere different, racism and misogyny still exist now–

i think if anything, solely for aesthetic purposes, the 60s.

peach - what’s your ideal aesthetic?

soft, lazy pastels with accents of black and grey colors. backpacks and sneakers. cozy comfy. sleepy as fuck.

darling - what romantic gesture makes you feel the most loved?

oh boy, here’s where i get embarrassed…

i love when he lets me rest a pillow on his lap (i can’t just lay my head on his leg i need some cushion bc he’s rail thin ok) and lets me rest and snooze against him while he’s gaming, and then during loading screens he scratches right at the nape of my neck. that’s my favorite.

button - do you have a type? what is it like?

i either like sweet, smol boys with big hearts, or giant guys who are loud and happy. there’s no in between, and both of them have to be able to hug me really nice.

for girls.....all girls. any girls. girl.

sweet pea - what’s your favourite flower?

oh i have so many…i love roses, especially pale colored ones like pink and ivory. i also really like violets and lavender. tulips are special to me as well because they were my mema’s favorite.

petal - what’s your favourite smell or perfume?

my favorites are rose, musk, sandalwood, coffee, lavender, vanilla, cinnamon, and amber. not necessarily altogether. i also really like men’s cologne smells, but of course it depends on the cologne.

sunshine - what’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever gotten?

in my junior year of college i was walking around the main campus building with no makeup, two-day-old hair, shorts and an old hoodie, and i know i hadn’t shaved my legs recently. someone told me i looked amazing, and i knew i finally, after all this time, reached peak attractiveness. it only took me 20 years, dammit. fuck off, high school.

baby girl - how do you like to be held?

in every way. i’m a cuddlebug.

lover - how do you show someone you like them?

i show complete obliviousness and denial and ask them if they want any ham.

in all seriousness, i have no fucking clue. i’m the worst when it comes to the crush phase.

buttercup - what does/would your online dating bio say?

“help i don’t know what i’m doing”

boo - what’s your dream date?

i want to go to a carnival or a festival with him. so fucking bad.

cupcake - if you’re treating yourself, what do you do?

i usually treat myself with food, wine, or makeup/skincare. just depends on my mood. i have a shit ton of points i can redeem at sephora because of it now.

wild thing - what’s something about you that surprises people?

that i’m not an innocent person/that i swear/etc. i look like i’m twelve and i sound like i’m five.

bubba - tell me a funny story from your childhood.

i once called my mother when i was ten years old after a tornado warning hit the weather channel, crying and telling her to hide under the desk. she just laughed and told me she was fine and she would be home later. of course, nothing happened, and come to find out i was on speakerphone when i called her office.

honey - what’s your favourite hot drink?

there’s this honey latte that one of my favorite cafes make and it’s absolutely delicious.

love bug - what song would you love to have sung to you?

work song - hozier

cutie - what’s your favourite fairytale?

east of the sun and west of the moon. my best friend @crystallhearts shared it with me.

dumpling - what’s your favourite movie right now?

my favorite movie of all time is pan’s labyrinth, but lately i’ve been obsessed with into the spider-verse.

my love - what would your dream home be like?

a flat apartment in the big city. a brick wall somewhere is involved, with dark wood flooring. wide, beautiful windows, and plenty of them. lots of open space. a small balcony with enough room for a small table and chairs and some plants. everything is within walking distance. safe and cozy and full of light.

dear - pick whatever question you’d most like to answer!

well, seeing as i’ve now answered all of them, i’m gonna skip this one.

@meddadius thank you for sending this, honey.

#ask #Anonymous

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danfanciesphil · 7 years

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I am *loving* your prompts!! I love the way you capture the boys, Ellen. :) I'd love to see something where they're out of their element (being forced to drive, or camping, or a blackout, or outside of the city, etc) Hope you're having a fabulous Parisian day, lovely!!! :)

Thank you sweetheart! I am enjoying all the practise enormously! Just sorry it’s taking so long.

Ok so your prompt is a little broad, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve run away with it a bit! Hopefully this is along the lines of what you were looking for. Much love, angel! xxx

Got a prompt for me? Click here! (Please be aware that due to an abundance of prompts, your prompt may take a few days to complete - but thank you all for submitting so far!)

Dan and Phil are indoor people.

It’s something they really, really appreciate about one another. A basis for their friendship, in a way. And then, later, their relationship.

Their perfect weekend would probably consist of very similar things - video games, Deliveroo, pyjamas, Netflix, and staying up laughing about stupid memes or playing board games until the wee hours.

This is how most of their weekends are spent, in fact.

However, occasionally they are forced outside of their comfort zone. They don’t budge easily, as they are very happy in their socially reclusive, hermit-crab ways, much to their friends’ chagrin.

Usually, when they have to spend their weekends elsewhere, it’s unavoidable.

Like this weekend, for example. Caspar Lee is having a birthday. Well, he has one every year, so it’s not exactly unusual. This year however, he’s decided to organise a camping trip.

In other words, he’s decided to single-handedly create Dan and Phil’s worst nightmare, and invite them to it via a Facebook event.

When Dan had first seen it, he’d snorted with laughter, showing Phil. Phil also rolled his eyes, amused at the idea of accepting an invitation so hideous to them both, and Dan had moved on with his life.

He figured he’d whip up some excuse later - feign a fictional conference or event of some sort - and tell Caspar that, regrettably, he and Phil would have to pass. Instead, Dan just forgot about the whole thing, and then it was two days before Caspar’s birthday, and Dan received a text.

From: CasparTo: Dan13:24pmHey Dan! We’re leavingat 5 on Friday. Are u andPhil driving up? x

From: DanTo: Caspar13:26pmWhat? Driving where? x

From: CasparTo: Dan13:28pmLake District lol Didn’t u read the event?

Dan’s blood runs cold, and all of a sudden he remembers everything. He jumps up from the sofa, sprinting towards Phil’s room in a sudden panic.

Phil is sat on his bed eating crisps and scrolling through his laptop; at Dan’s entrance, he looks up, frowning in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“Fuck, Phil we forgot about Caspar’s thing.”

Phil looks confused for a moment, then his eyes grow round and wide. “What?! The camping thing? I thought you said no to that!”

“I thought I did too!” Dan cries in despair. “I must’ve forgotten.”

That’s how, two and a half days later, Dan finds himself in the passenger seat of a rented Land Rover, watching warily as Phil navigates the rural countryside of Northern England, despite the fact Dan knows for certain that he hasn’t driven a car in years.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” Dan asks for the fifth time.

Phil side-eyes him crossly. “I know you’re a paranoid person, but you’re supposed to have total trust in me, remember?”

“I do, I do.” Dan lies, turning to look out of his window, trying to find something to distract himself amongst the flat, endless bracken stretching out to meet the greying sky. “How fucking far away is this place, anyway?”

Phil sighs, glancing at the Sat Nav on the dashboard. “It says we’ve got another hour at least.”

“Ugh,” Dan grunts, lifting his feet up onto the dashboard.

Phil looks at them in silent disapproval, no doubt thinking about the fact that this car needs to be returned in pristine condition if they want their deposit back.

“Maybe it’ll be fun,” Phil suggests, shrugging.

The atmosphere has been pretty tense between them ever since they found out they’d have to go through with this debacle. Camping, in the wilderness, with five other boys. Louise had initially said she’d come along, but has since pulled out due to ‘childcare issues’.

Dan hates her a little bit for having such a good ‘last minute’ excuse. If he and Phil had a baby, they could’ve weaselled out of this thing too. Dan pauses at this peculiar thought, wondering where on earth it came from.

If he and Phil were ever planning on adopting a child - which they have absolutely no current plans to do - they probably need to have a better reason than ‘using it as an excuse to get out of socialising’.

“It’s gonna be so... laddy.” Dan complains, pouting. He fiddles with the knob of the radio, which is only receiving static, as they’re in the middle of effing nowhere.

“We have alcohol,” Phil reminds him. “That might make it a bit better.”

Dan nods vaguely, sighing. He has no right to be complaining, he knows, because it’s all his fault they’ve ended up having to do this. He’s the one that forgot to reply to Caspar’s invite. For some reason, Caspar didn’t invite Phil on the event, but neither of them thought much of that. It’s more or less assumed amongst any of their friends that if you invite one of them, you’re gonna get the other too.

“I hope so.” Dan says, shifting into a position where he thinks he might be able to nap for a while. “If not we can just make out or whatever.”

Phil chuckles, and it’s the last thing Dan hears for a bit.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about this experience is that Phil seems to adapt to it with an ease that Dan literally could not have foreseen. They’d gone on a mega shop before they left London, packing the boot of their hire truck with a brand new tent, specially designed outdoor cooking utensils, sleeping bags, groundsheets, kindling for the fire... you name it, they bought it.

Of course, Dan’s main concern was that he and Phil would flail about for hours trying to set up their stuff whilst Joe, Caspar, Josh and the others would whip out those protein enriched muscles and have their tents erected in two seconds flat.

On the contrary, Phil launches himself into the task, and quite honestly blows the others out of the water with his prowess.

He and Dan pull up to the spot Caspar had chosen just after the others, and hop out of the car to greet them all. Then, as the others begin unloading, Phil strolls around to the back of the truck, slinging the - heavy, bulky, complicated-looking - tent onto his back, and waltzes over to a spot near where Caspar has begun setting up. He looks over at Dan, stares at him, marvelling really, and calls: “Is here okay?”

Dan nods wordlessly, and Phil gets to work at once. He hammers the pegs, he threads the rods through the frame. He lays the groundsheet and carts the bundles of sleeping stuff through the front entrance.

Dan just watches him, mouth agape. It’s strange that, despite the length of time he’s known Phil, intimately, the man still utterly astonishes him.

“Voila!” Phil says after what can only have been fifteen minutes of work. He stands back from the tent, proud, and for good reason. “She’s ready.”

Before Dan can speak, Joe and Caspar sling their arms around his shoulder, grinning at him.

“Always pick a man who knows how to use his hands, eh Dan?” Caspar asks, jostling his shoulders.

“I wonder who wears the trousers in this relationship...” Joe adds on, winking before wandering off towards his half-erected tent.

Phil walks over to Dan then, smiling nervously. “Is it okay? I can make it a little straighter if you want.”

He’s taken his outer shirt off, and his arms are slightly dewy from the exertion of all the physical activity. His hair is ruffled by the cold, Yorkshire wind, and he’s breathing heavily. In other words, he looks kind of like sex on legs.

Dan stutters on his own breath for a moment before replying.

“N-no, it’s- I really- you did a good j-job.” He gets out eventually, and Phil beams, clearly pleased.

Phil pulls Dan towards him, right into his chest, and Dan just sort of melts there, his eyes falling closed as Phil’s thick, bare arms wrap themselves around him.

He feels Phil press a kiss to the top of his head. “You’re teeth are chattering. Are you cold?”

Dan hasn’t the heart to tell Phil that he’s just stuttering because he’s overwhelmed by Phil’s Heathcliff-esque ruggedness in the setting of this wild moorland landscape. Instead, he just nods silently, and Phil tells him he’s going to go and find Dan’s jumper in the car.

By the second night, Dan has more or less surrendered himself to the wilderness. At first, having no showers, toilets, or other amenities was a difficult adjustment, but despite being a bit of a princess nowadays, Dan has in fact camped quite a bit in the past. Okay, so maybe camping at Reading Festival isn’t quite the same thing, but it’s still a tent, and sleeping outdoors, and slowly descending into a savage over time.

They’ve hiked (not Dan’s choice of activity, duh) all day around the beautiful, raw and untamed land of the Lake District. They’ve even climbed a (smallish) mountain, atop which they’d stopped to guzzle the picnic they’d brought along.

Normally, Dan would’ve hated it, and it certainly wasn’t what he’d call fun, but the views were immense and breathtaking, and there’s something about being here, amongst the undisturbed wilderness, that leaves one with a primitive sense of belonging to something bigger than oneself.

He tries to explain this to the others, and they all laugh, of course. But it doesn’t matter. Phil squeezes his hand in acknowledgement, showing that he understands, even if it’s only a bit.

They get back to the camp and crack open the beers, huddling around a campfire in their bedraggled states. None of them look their best in their rain macs, thick woollen jumpers and muddy walking boots, but it doesn’t matter. Nobody is filming them now. They snap a single photo for Caspar’s Instagram, then tuck their phones away. They’re no use out here, anyway.

Dan is squeezed into one of the camping chairs they’ve brought along, on Phil’s lap. He’s tipsy and his face is pink and warm from the wind burn and the heat of the roaring fire they’ve created. He’s full of soup and hot dogs and marshmallows - camping food - and he’s surprised to find that he’s happy.

Phil’s arms are wrapped around his middle. It feels so safe, here, with him, despite the fact they’re a hundred miles or more from London, in a place they’ve never set foot before now.

Silly games are played, drunken stories are exchanged, which leads to secrets being told, and a solemn pact that nothing will leave this spot. And then, it’s time for bed.

Last night, Dan and Phil had slept restlessly, too cold to lift their arms from their sleeping bags let alone cuddle. Dan looks into Phil’s eyes as they extricate themselves from the chair, and he can tell, at once, that the same won’t be said for tonight.

They stumble through the tent flap, giggling drunkenly, and fall onto one of the sleeping bags - Dan doesn’t remember whose is whose at this point.

Phil is immediately attacking him with kisses, which makes Dan laugh harder, and he rolls them until Phil’s on top of him, though it’s hard to see what’s happening in the dark.

They struggle with layers of clothing, pulling and prising at various fabrics in the pitch black, laughing uproariously at the whole affair because it seems so difficult they might as well give up the attempt.

They don’t, though, and somehow they get there, naked and shuddering as they make love in the narrow confines of their two man tent, the sound of the furious wind whipping against the canvas outside.

When it’s over, they crawl into one sleeping bag with some difficulty, the heat radiating off their naked bodies at once suffocating and not enough. Dan listens to the steady, fast pace of Phil’s breathing, and traces his lips with one hand.

“Can’t believe you just Brokeback Mountain’d me,” Dan says, teasing, and Phil laughs.

“Couldn’t help myself.” He confesses, yawning. “Please don’t get murdered with a tyre iron.”

Dan chuckles. “Fine. If you insist.”

“Home tomorrow.” Phil mutters, sounding sleepy.

Dan snuggles towards him, more than happy to close his eyes as well after the copious amount of exercise he’s done today.

“Hm,” Dan agrees. “Maybe you were right, though.”

Phil’s hand is at the base of his skull, his fingers trailing through the short, bristly hairs there. “Hm?”

“Maybe camping isn’t so bad...” Dan says, feeling awkward about the confession. “Y’know,” he pauses, swallowing his embarrassment as best he can manage. “As long as I’m with you.”

#prompts #camping #pg-13 #fluff #adventure #hope you like it babe!#anon #ellen answers

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littlelovelymemes · 7 years

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✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts starters. ❜

‘ plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over ’ ‘ you would not believe bill nye... if ten million Science Guys ’ ‘ the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting ’ ‘ why was shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful rufus wainwright ballad followed by a smash mouth/eddie murphy cover of i’m a believer and how can i thank them ’ ‘ i justify my impulses by the fact i’m going to be dead one day and none of it truly matters in the grant scheme of things it’s that “treat yo self” nihilism ’ ‘ all i do is listen to music really loudly while i walk in circles and daydream :/ ’ ‘ but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards ’ ‘ my insecurities have destroyed so many opportunities ’ ‘ maybe you and i exist together on a different wavelength than the rest of the world. perhaps, we are on a separate frequency. ’ ‘ will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking ’ ‘ ʸᵉᵃʰᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰ some fuckin physical affection ’ ‘ stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart. ’ ‘ concept: me traveling the world alone, figuring myself out, taking tons of cute aesthetic pictures, befriending kind strangers, drinking a cup of tea on a cute cafeteria, and trying out things for the first time. ’ ‘ holy shit thank god vine is gone like can you imagine all the vines about fidget spinners ’ ‘ me: reads the bad reviews of a book i didn’t like to seek validation ’ ‘ if you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an “uncharacteristic purchase” ’ ‘ i’m a dumbass and that’s just how it is ’ ‘ y'all actually seek validation from people that don’t give a fuck about ur feelings??? LMAO bitch me too why are we like this ’ ‘ special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on youtube ’ ‘ i am so gentle and kind hearted... and stupid ’ ‘ there she goes again being over dramatic and by she i mean me ’ ‘ just letting everyone who’s ever told me a secret know that its safe with me (and my mom) ’ ‘ me n my eyebrows…………we been thru a lot ’ ‘ i wanna jump off a building and not die just relieve stress by slamming onto the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something ’ ‘ all I want is vintage lingerie and good skin ’ ‘ nsfw: nobody’s safe from wonderwall ’ ‘ do you ever wish you could unmeet someone…. like,, we had fun times,, but it’s time for me to wipe my memory Sorry Bud ’ ‘ date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve ’ ‘ if you knew me in 7th grade i’m sorry ’ ‘ *cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities* ’ ‘ anyone else feel like they’re inherently worth less than everyone else ’ ‘ be open with your love and loud with your laughter. life is so much brighter when lived genuinely. ’ ‘ i really wish i could get a refund for all the love i’ve wasted on people like! repay my emotional labour your bill is in the mail ’ ‘ i’m such a tease. i’ll tell you how bad I want to fuck you and then probably fall asleep. ’ ‘ i’m crying my best ’ ‘ i want to be known as someone who’s full of love and radiates light ’ ‘ i’m in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs” ’ ‘ how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit ’ ‘ some kid just skateboarded down my street crying ’ ‘ do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know. ’ ‘ which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite, burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney or lucky by britney spears ’ ‘ i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself ’ ‘ there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch ’ ‘ after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death. ’ ‘ why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable ’ ‘ hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon ’ ‘ remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life ’ ‘ is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight? ’ ‘ mATH, deATH -- wake up america ’ ‘ does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating ’ ‘ time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day ’ ‘ roses are red, i’m going to bed ’ ‘ u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy ’ ‘ i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented ’ ‘ just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe ’ ‘ you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm? that’s how I want to feel always ’ ‘ come into bed and listen to the rain with me ’ ‘ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel, ’ ‘ can someone please be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ’ ‘ concept: a really nice Italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that ’ ‘ just found out neanderthal passed on the dna for depression and now we know why they stayed in caves and painted horses all fuckin day ’ ‘ i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly ’ ‘ does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it ’ ‘ “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better ’ ‘ i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it ’ ‘ my kink is getting some fuckin sleep ’ ‘ i’m alive out of spite ’ ‘ not to vent but: fuck ’ ‘ i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot ’ ‘ can’t wait to be balls deep in love ’ ‘ why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop ’ ‘ i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers” ’ ‘ *adjusts my tinfoil hat* y’all are crazy ’ ‘ do raccoons have people hands or do we have raccoon hands? ’ ‘ mark your territory by crying on things ’ ‘ any size titty is lit ’ ‘ love lemon trees! i too am bitter but growing ’ ‘ my only constant is the black hair tie around my wrist. no mans gonna be there for me like this hair tie has. no ones presence is gonna be as reassuring ’ ‘ me???? tired???? sleepy??? yes constantly ’ ‘ the box says “four servings” but my heart says one ’ ‘ the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it….astounding ’ ‘ i hope everybody is doing their best even tho we’re all doomed ’ ‘ young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care ’ ‘ I just want to help out all the people with no money but i am people with no money ’ ‘ bricks are just domesticated rocks ’ ‘ being nice is so easy just do it ’ ‘ lets start wearing cloaks and swords again. its time ’ ‘ classes are like a high level dora the explorer episode. person up front asks a question, stares at you blankly for a few seconds, and then answers their own question. ’ ‘ the average orgasm is 7 seconds. keeping a feral hog in your basement lasts for 5-16 years depending on your ability to care for it. the decision should be clear ’ ‘ will i ever have my shit together ’ ‘ i live in a time where a major selling point for food is that it uses “real” ingredients. ’ ‘ “what the fuck” is an emotion now and its the only one i have ’ ‘ it’s not a real party until you sneak away to the bathroom to question your existence as you stare at yourself in the mirror haha ’ ‘ every hard day you make it through makes you one day closer to stranger things season 2 ’ ‘ assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student i.d. number ’ ‘ i feel like each year has progressively gotten worse since the year of luigi ended ’ ‘ um that’s u’re* not ur ’ ‘ i wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either. ’ ‘ i have nothing to say but will i shut up? No ’ ‘ i cannot believe another week is like beginning we just finished one ’

#ask meme #askbox meme #rp meme #indie rp #inbox meme #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #sentence starter meme #rp sentence starters #rp ask meme #rp ask box meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme #starters

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reglymonart · 7 years

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Promptis headcanons

ok first can we talk about how much the boys must love water (Prompto always photographing Noct in front of the water ingame and ofc Noct x fishing)

imagine both of them going camping while in highschool and Prompto’s delighted because it’s the first time he really goes out of the city apart from school excursions and this is a huge deal for Noctis too because his father actually agreed to let him go?? On his own?! (PEACEFUL TIMES)

So they choose to go camping near a river, so that Noctis can fish and Prompto will take so many pics of the scenery, Noct will get mad at him bc the fishes are going away because of him but really he’s just so happy he’s out there with his bestfriend

NATURAL WATERSLIDES

Prompto splashing water at a napping Noct. Yes this ends up in a terrible waterfight

Prompto staying still in the water and suddenly he feels ?? Small things pecking at his skin ?? And in 30 secs this turns into 20 small fishes eating his dead skin

“Noctis do you think they’re gonna eat my freckles too ??”

Noctis suddenly being very aware of all the freckles that cover his friend’s body

Noctis blushing

“O-of course not”

MIDNIGHT BATH and there are fireflies all around them

Regretting sleeping under the sky next to the river the following day bc they didnt plan to get THAT MANY bites from mosquitoes (you can bet your ass next time they’ll bring some anti mosquitoes products)

For the time being they’ll sleep in the tent

hiking up the mountain by following the river stream and Prompto litterally c r y i n g when he sees the view from the top and Noctis just hugging him from behind without saying a word

Watching the shooting stars from atop of the mountain while chatting about very personnal stuff

Prompto loving being massaged (unlike Noctis -throwback to Galdin Quay-) so at night in the tent Noctis will give Prompto massages after their long day’s walk and if you dont think Prompto moans and Noctis is hella flustered and stops everything then you’re very wrong

both boys trying to be subtle when they try to close the gap between their sleeping bags at night

ends up with both of them being milimeters apart but not doing the last move

You can bet in the morning they’re snuggled together

Prompto waking up first but being prisoner of the royal arm around his chest and yes he tries to break free (#nohomo) but he’s just ?? HELD EVEN CLOSER ?

And obviously he can’t win bc it turns out all those trainings with Gladio really did good for Noct’s muscles

So you have a sleepy Noctis and an overthinking (and hungry, maybe also wanting to pee) Prompto also very bothered by how cute Noctis is with his bed hair

the astrals shipping the fuck outta those two rn

Eventually Noct wakes up and is face to face to a Prompto who may or may not have been trying to get a taste of Noct’s lips bc anyways Noct was asleep ?? But he woke up just before it happened

They can feel each other’s morning breath on their own lips (which, let’s be honest, smell bad) and woooooo INTENSE STARING

Noct just kinda presses the hand he already had on Prompto’s back and Prompto can feel his heart beating even faster than it already did bc now Noct’s closing his eyes and oh my oH MY IS HE GONNA ???

fall back asleep

That Royal asshole

can you hear this sound yes it’s Prompto’s heart breaking in two

(that’s what you get for trying to take advantage of a sleeping prince, blondie)

Prompto finally goes outside the tent and is met by rain and yeah his day couldn’t have started in a worse way

But the weather’s still very warm so he takes off his clothes except for his briefs and wristband and stands outside

How long he stands there he doesn’t know

He suddenly has a lot on his mind and he’s angry at himself because this week end was supposed to be a special time with his bestfriend why did he have to let his feelings in the way

But next thing he knows Noct’s there too ??

“Couldn’t sleep with the rain. Let’s go”

Prompto doesn’t ask questions and just follows him a bit farther into the woods

That’s when he notices Noctis is also only in his t-shirt and briefs so he offers a silent prayer to Shiva to thank her for his view on the royal ass

And they finally reach a small waterfall with a large pond. It’s very humid and you cant see clearly the other end but Prompto has a feeling there might be more to it. He can hear frogs croaking

Noct just offers him his hand, and although Prompto is intrigued and still a bit sulking, he lets him lead him into the water

When they’re midwaist and Prompto still doesn’t know where this is all leading to, Noctis tells him, a slightly bit anxious “ok, on three we go underwater. Keep your eyes open. Three…”

“but Noct you know that with my eyes-

Doesn’t matter here. Two… ONE !”

Noctis drags him underwater by force with his hand. Prompto, taken aback, forces himself to open his eyes, trusting his bestfriend. And then he sees.

Everything is light. The fishes are luminescent, shiny frogs are passing by him, and he feels safe in this water, almost at… Home. Noctis points him to rarestones that are emetting their own light. He’s never been more amazed. And flowers are growing from the bottom. Actually, they’re growing everywhere they can. Soon missing air, the boys quickly come back to the surface. Back to the dull and misty pond, assaulted by rain.

“Dude what was that ?!!

-Ok, you know the legend of that florist who died at the hand of the bringer of destruction?

-Yes it’s a classic

-So you know her true love left her dead body in a pond. Well now the legend has it that, when it rains, it means people are still mourning her death, and if you come to a pond pure enough with the person you love then under those circonstances you can enter the realm of wonders her spirit built. Iris showed me the pond”

The last part had been said way more quickly than everything else. Prompto slowly processed the information

“Oh. I hope you and her will be happy...”

Prompto thought he had seen what was underwater only because he was with Noctis. Not because his feelings were reciprocated.

Noctis, eyes wide and suddenly very unsure, added “but Iris didn’t see what was underwater ! Only I did. Because I was the one she loved. It works only one way. I didn’t tell her I saw it, though. ... But you saw the flowers, right ?”

“Yeah... I did !”

Noctis looked at him and couldn’t hide his smile any longer. “So did I.”

Before he let his tears slip out, Prompto jumped at Noctis’ neck and brought him underwater. There, they exchanged a look that meant more than any word could say about their mutual affection, and it was as if the water brought them closer for a kiss only the flowers witnessed.

…. So yeah, Promptis and water are important to me.

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junker-town · 6 years

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NFL Dad, Week 8: Halloween is my daughter’s Super Bowl

Here’s what seven hours of RedZone is like when your two young kids can’t go outside because it’s raining.

As a lazy person, it’s hard to enjoy Halloween. When I was single, the thought and effort that a costume required always made me want to crawl in bed and hide from the holiday. Only the promise of alcohol and sexy costumes lured me into participation.

Kids have changed all that. As a parent, you get to spend WEEKS hyping up your kids for Halloween, brainstorming costume ideas, and talking about candy. The last part is especially fun, because my wife and I deprive our children of candy all year long. Cake? Sure, if there’s a party. A donut? Probably once a week. Ice cream? Well, maybe as a special treat. But candy almost never happens, save for the occasional lollipop at the doctor’s office. Halloween is their Super Bowl.

And even though trick-or-treating is only one night, we are getting some MILEAGE out of this year’s costumes — shark for my son (our choice), ghost for my daughter (her choice). Last Sunday, our friends had a Halloween-themed birthday party. On Friday, our nanny took the kids to a costume party. Monday: another Halloween party. Tuesday: daughter wears costume to school AND we’ve got trick-or-treating that night. I am getting to be a PRO at hand-washing chocolate out of these costumes. And I’m barely a day away from stealing half my kids’ candy after they go to bed Tuesday night.

So much of the parent experience is trading away the things you used to love to do for soul-filling love and constant exhaustion; it’s a surprise and a delight when the trade is suddenly enjoying something you never liked as an adult.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— RedZone has seven early games on the docket today, and Scott Hanson shows us the lineup in OCTOBOX format, with the eighth box a weather map of the Eastern seaboard. The forecast: lots of rain.

— It’s raining here in New York, too. I took some photos of my kids in their rain slickers, but I’m not going to share them because my son’s hair looks like Jon Gruden’s. And maybe Gruden’s OK being seen in public with that hair, but I’m going to raise my children better than that.

Maybe Gruden’s OK being seen with that haircut, but I’m going to raise my children better than that.

Incidentally, I took the photos on the way to get his hair cut. I asked for a low fade and the barber gave him a high fade that wasn’t blended very well, so he ended up with the preferred haircut of stylish soccer players and media-savvy Nazis. And let me be crystal clear: My 18-month-old son is not a neo-Nazi. He doesn’t even have a Reddit account.

— The Saints’ Alvin Kamara scores the first touchdown of the day, and I reject this world where Drew Brees relies on a competent running game. THROW FOR 5000 YARDS OR RETIRE!

I like Kamara, though. I’m not messing with anyone whose name is a jiu-jitsu submission.

— I put my daughter down for her nap, and when I come back to the living room, Melvin Gordon is running untouched for an 87-yard TD to give the Chargers an early 7-0 lead over the Pats. I picked the Chargers at +7 today, so this pleases me.

HE WILL GO ALL THE WAY!@melvingordon25. 87 yards to the HOUSE. #Chargers http://pic.twitter.com/mOTI7SKWm9

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

— I’m a little worried about my daughter’s nap. We’re potty-training her right now — she’s behind schedule, I KNOW, the broken collarbone really set us back — and she wouldn’t pee on the little toddler potty before her nap. She hasn’t peed since we changed her overnight diaper and put her in undies this morning. You can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can’t make her pee.

So my wife and I tell her, “Hey, if you feel you have to go pee-pee, call us and we’ll help you use the potty.” But the last couple days, this has just led to a wet bed and more laundry. YAY, MORE LAUNDRY!

— Wait, we gotta talk about C.J. Beathard’s face. The camera cut to him and he BARELY had more confidence and composure than Bill Paxton in Aliens.

Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

You can smell the fear on him.

— With the score tied at 7 at MetLife, Matt Ryan loses a fumbled snap for the second time today that leads to a Jets field goal. I know it’s raining, but it’s also still the first half. Get your shit together, Falcons. Or don’t, I picked the Jets +4.5.

— Ah, I see the Colts are in the red zone. Time for a nap!

— I open my eyes 24 minutes later, and the only eye-raising change in scoring is in New England, where the Pats have improved from a 7-7 lead to take the lead, 12-7. Apparently, Travis Benjamin crapped his brain out of his butt in the middle of a punt return.

Worth it for the refs signaling safety at the exact same time, though.

— I’m typing today with a Band-Aid on my right index finger, having sliced my fingertip with a pumpkin saw while carving our jack-o’-lantern the night before. No medical attention needed, but I lost a little flap of skin that has me playing through pain today. I’m a gamer, though. Don’t worry about it affecting the column.

— Cincinnati, playing at home against the Colts, has had a lackluster first half, but this Joe Mixon screen is electric.

.@andydalton14 finds @Joe_MainMixon and he nearly goes the distance! #Bengals50 http://pic.twitter.com/saSRSZiC9C

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

That sets up a short touchdown to A.J. Green to tie the game at 10.

POINT OF ORDER: I will be actively avoiding this game the rest of the afternoon. These teams are butt. Also, I have yet to mention Carolina-Tampa Bay at all today. That is not an accident.

— Josh McCown tosses a gorgeous sideline throw to Robby Anderson, who got past Desmond Trufant. It’s 17-10 Jets, and if they win today I’m calling it: The Falcons are trapped in a body-swap movie.

— This morning I went to church with my family, and this may surprise you, but toddlers aren’t really wired for an hour of Catholic mass. I took the kids out to the adjoining courtyard so they could burn off some steam. The rain had let up but it was still wet, so naturally they both immediately fell on their faces/butts and got soaked.

They kept playing, though. The key feature of the courtyard was a four-foot ramp at a 15- or 20-degree angle. My daughter ran down it repeatedly, each time saying, “I shoot down the slide!” My son is also eager to run down the ramp, but he’s only a year and a half old — he’s barely mastered walking. He’s all desire, no skill.* So I stage at the bottom of the ramp and catch him before he can eat a face full of concrete.

*This sentence also sums up my athletic career after the age of 11.

Every generation has its Ted Ginn.

— The Bills score a defensive touchdown to open up a commanding lead on the Raiders, then Steven Hauschka forces a fumble on the ensuing kickoff. And I saw a lot of love and surprise on Twitter — “Wow! The kicker!” — but not nearly enough people were pointing at the exquisitely talented doofus who fumbled: Cordarrelle Patterson. He can’t do something awesome without disappointing you the following week. Every generation has its Ted Ginn, it seems.

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— My wife is taking the lead on tonight’s dinner, a pot roast recipe from Ina Garten. Now, I love Ina Garten; she’s a total boss. But if you’re going to try a recipe of hers, know that:

It will require a cut of meat that costs a staggering amount of money. “I go to my butcher and get four pounds of filet...” (Recipe serves 2.)

It will require about 150% of the work in any other cookbook to taste maybe 10% better. Related: Ina Garten does not have children.

She will demand that you use “good olive oil.” It is never just “olive oil.” Ina suspects you have cheap olive oil and a separate bottle of good stuff for special occasions. Guess what, bitch? EVERY INA GARTEN RECIPE IS A SPECIAL OCCASION. Don’t disrespect her art with shitty olive oil!

— Behold, the majesty of a Philip Rivers pump fake:

Let’s check in on Philip Rivers http://pic.twitter.com/MbkDJysXMe

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) October 29, 2017

Rivers recovered his own fumble (the least he could do after forcing it), and on the very next play, he hucks it downfield. When the ball re-enters the atmosphere, there is one Chargers receiver on the screen, and SIX Patriots defenders.

Next play: Throws into sextuple coverage http://pic.twitter.com/Yhbo2I2EhU

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) October 29, 2017

I love that intense weirdo SO MUCH. The Philip Rivers Quarterback Experience is like if the star of the debate team also had Tourette’s.

— My wife: “You picked great leeks, Matt.” Hell yeah I did! I have an eye for fine produce. But chopping four leeks and two large onions in a small apartment with all the bedroom doors closed is tough sledding for people with sensitive eyes. I open a window three inches; rain INSTANTLY soaks five children’s books on the sill.

— With the Bears trailing 14-3, Mitchell Trubisky throws to Zach Miller, who makes a great catch for the touchdown! Oh no, Miller stays down. Seems hurt. OH GOD I SAW THE REPLAY. Look away from the TV! Look at the computer! OH GOD I SAW THE GIF. UGHUGHGHHHHHH. (Update: Miller almost lost his leg due to vascular damage. Jesus.)

Dude, I JUST saw Gordon Hayward’s ankle snapped on live TV a few days ago. Hey, sports? Can we go a week or two without maiming someone, please?

AND THEY OVERTURNED THE TOUCHDOWN. WTF, YOU REFS ARE ANIMALS.

If you break your leg on the catch it should be a catch

— Evil Dead 2 Magary (@drewmagary) October 29, 2017

If you break your leg while even vaguely holding onto the ball it should always be ruled a catch

— Pablo S. Torre (@PabloTorre) October 29, 2017

— My daughter calls us, much more urgently than she usually does after her nap. My wife rushes in. Incredibly, my kid held her piss in throughout her nap, and actually used the potty. HUZZAH!

Even more incredibly, she didn’t pee between 7:00 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. NOT GREAT. We’re gonna have to get better about that or next week’s column is gonna be about bladder infections.

— Here’s a cool Alshon Jeffery touchdown:

"GET OFF ME." - @TheWorldof_AJ, probably. Touchdown, @Eagles! #FlyEaglesFly http://pic.twitter.com/aMeckAYr3i

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Consider that the shot that puts this one away for the Eagles. And now a 49ers chaser:

Fun stat: 49ers have only won three of their last 27 games, all of them against the Rams.

— Vince Mancini (@Filmdrunk) October 29, 2017

— I have a note that just says, “rasperries and laughter,” but I no longer remember the specific context. I think my daughter was laughing because my son was trying to blow raspberries on her, so I pulled up his shirt and blew raspberries on his stomach, causing him to shriek with laughter. That sounds right, but I could be mixing that up with other memories.

(I should note that in between writing that three-word note and trying to expand it into a paragraph, I watched Texans-Seahawks and Game 5 of the World Series. My brain has been puréed into a sports smoothie with an Adrenaline Boost™. A day later, I only see my two children in the context of lead changes. Great hug! I love THIS one more now!)

— On 3rd and goal, Matt Ryan scrambles to his left and finds Mohammed Sanu at the back of the end zone to give the Falcons a 22-17 lead. Ryan then fumbles the snap on the two-point conversion. Even when the Falcons are winning this year, they do it in the least convincing way possible.

Even when the Falcons are winning, they do it in the least convincing way.

— My wife takes the dog for a walk in the rain, as well as the kettlebell with legs that passes for my younger child. My daughter cuddles next to me on the couch. I put my arm around her and give her context about the teams on the field (“Do you know what a buccaneer is?” —No. “A buccaneer is a pirate”), but mostly, we sit together quietly. This is approximately as content and fulfilled as I can be.

— PERSONAL GAMBLING HELL UPDATE: The Jets, trailing 22-20, are about to get the ball back late in the game and look like excellent candidates to cover the 4.5-point spread. They fumble the punt because they’re the GODDAMN IDIOT JETS. The Falcons OF COURSE kick a field goal to go up by five. New York will have a chance to win the game if they can go 90 yards with no timeouts in 50 seconds, but I don’t need to give you the details on why that doesn’t work out.

The Pats kick a field goal to take an eight-point lead with one minute remaining, and I agonize over the Chargers’ mistakes that will cost them a cover: Benjamin’s idiotic safety, a failed two-point conversion. I am SO happy I don’t put actual money on these games. I would ruin my family.

The Saints have the ball, a five-point lead, and a pressing need for one more score to cover 9 points at home. Stupid Bears. There’s a glimmer of hope after Brees throws a bomb downfield, but shortly after Mark Ingram loses a fumble — his second of the game — and the Bears have a chance to win. (The Bears do not capitalize. The Saints kick a field goal at the end of the game to push the lead to 8. THANKS FOR NOTHING, JERK-ASS.)

— A Bengals defensive lineman makes an incredible play for a pick-6 that gives Cincy the lead. This game is still butt, but at least it’s functionally over.

— Wife and son and dog are back, and I dry my dog off with an old towel. When Stella gets wet, she obsesses over drying off. She gleefully wags her entire body into the towel, and she rubs her face in between my legs to dry her face off.

Yes, a 65-pound dog shoving its face under your crotch is disconcerting.

And in case you’re wondering, a 65-pound dog forcefully shoving her face under your crotch is SUPER disconcerting. I’ve had her for a decade, so I’m used to it now, but she’s also done it to strangers before. It’s a helluva way to meet your neighbors.

— Philip Rivers has no timeouts and a running clock to get a touchdown. And if you thought the self-fumble and sextuple-coverage heave was his two-play highlight of the day, AU CONTRAIRE. T’was merely an appetizer for this delicacy:

Philip Rivers emphatically celebrating a spike with 1 second left is the most Philip Rivers thing I've seen since Week 1 #Chargers http://pic.twitter.com/SOXBeKM78I

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) October 29, 2017

The next and final play is an interception floated into the arms of a Pats defender. In fact, there seem to be about five Patriots closer to making a play on the ball than the nearest Charger.

Philip Rivers losing it dot gif http://pic.twitter.com/oSpwAlCBPX

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) October 29, 2017

I’m gonna miss that guy when he’s gone.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— With six teams on bye, there are only two late games for RedZone to toggle between: Texans-Seahawks and Cowboys-Washington. They’re good games, but at some point I’d almost prefer a commercial break to Scott Hanson narrating sponsored highlights. “No commercials here on RedZone! And now for Fantasy Feedback, presented by Genesis.”

— As a Seahawks fan, I’m cautiously optimistic about today. I think the offense will perform well, and the run defense can bottle up Lamar Miller. I expect DeAndre Hopkins to win a couple battles versus Richard Sherman, but over the course of the game, I expect the defense and crowd to be a little too much for a rookie quarterback, even one as good as Deshaun Watson.

My biggest concern early is actually Will Fuller. If the Texans can get him the ball early, before the Seahawks have a chance to adjust to how fast he is ... oh look, RedZone’s flipping to Seattle now.

.@deshaunwatson goes DEEEEEP. And @Will_Fuller7 gets behind the LOB for SIX. #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/vDFvZPVeiG

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

CRAP.

— The Texans continue to movie the ball with ease, but on 3rd and 10 with the Texans in field goal range, Earl Thomas jumps a route and takes it for six the other way.

Know where @Earl_Thomas is on the field at ALL times... PICK-6. #Seahawks #LOB http://pic.twitter.com/j4EZXZHlMs

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Any time there’s an interception in the secondary, the analysts always say how the defensive back read the quarterback’s eyes. But there’s more to it than that:

Texans lined up Hopkins in the slot to get Sherman in space, Thomas had a pretty strong idea of where the ball was going.

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) October 29, 2017

Earl Thomas benefits from instincts and speed that most safeties would kill for, but he’s not just reading a quarterback’s eyes. Formations, route combinations, down and distance, and a quarterback’s tendencies all get plugged into a pre-snap calculus that helps Thomas figure out where the ball’s likely to go before the QB has even made a decision.

I’m not the kind of guy who watches All-22, but Earl Thomas makes me want to.

— Washington is wearing throwback uniforms, and I’m annoyed that their burgundies don’t match.

Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images

The jerseys are damn near purple, and while that may be partly due to the rain, the gold numbers are also markedly different than the yellow on the helmets.

And to you homers getting ready to mansplain it: I already KNOW that the NFL doesn’t let teams change their base helmets for any uniform. It’s a bad rule, and these uniforms look like ass because of it.

(Washington could have dealt with this by making the throwbacks match today’s helmets. All the old photos are black and white, who cares if the hue is historically accurate? I mean, if you want REALLY accurate Washington throwbacks, only the white players should wear them. Just the way George Marshall intended!)

— In an attempt to lessen our laundry workload by one percent, my wife tries to trick our daughter into organizing a pile of her socks into pairs. My daughter instantly recognizes that it’s a chore and hurls the socks around the room, resulting in one percent more work for us.

— Trailing 14-7, the Seahawks challenge a 3rd-and-2 incomplete pass. Russell Wilson had his throwing motion disrupted by Jadeveon Clowney, and Pete Carroll wants it ruled a fumble — the ball went downfield and was recovered by tight end Luke Willson.

This game is powered by hallucinogenic speedballs.

After review, the refs agree: First down, Seahawks. Finally, the Seahawks’ “Let defensive linemen assault our quarterback” offense is starting to pay off.

On the next play, Wilson throws a touchdown to Paul Richardson. It’s 14-14 in the first quarter, and this game is powered by hallucinogenic speedballs.

— The Cowboys go for it on 4th and 1 a few yards short of midfield. They’re down 10-7 early in the game — the circumstances aren’t dire, but it’s the sort of situation where the numbers say GO FOR IT while football coaches scream PUNT. It’s good to see Jason Garrett is willing to let his kickass line and Zeke Elliott execute those favorable odds. The Cowboys get the first.

— MIRACLE: Both of my kids are eating their dinner without complaint or hesitation. They ignore the TV to pay attention to the Halloween book my wife is reading. Years from now, when their grade school teacher praises their attention spans, I’m gonna get up in the middle of the parent-teacher conference and do Mick Jagger’s rooster strut.

— Crap, Will Fuller has another TD. Look at this awesome play design:

ANOTHER @Will_Fuller7 TD grab in Seattle! #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/4WroLy1s7A

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

Fuller now has seven touchdowns on, like, four catches this season.

Moments later, Russell Wilson responds with a downfield heave that Tanner McEvoy hauls in for a 53-yards gain. That sets up Paul Richardson’s second touchdown. Tie game again, 21-21.

— Washington kicks a field goal to go up 13-7. Or maybe 13-10? I dunno, it’s hard to pay much attention to this game. Dallas-Washington is like a football game in the rain when the other viewing option is a burning fireworks factory.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Can I cut the bullshit for a second? I do not want to be a Seahawks fan narrating play-by-play for the game of the year that the Seahawks end up winning. That would be very fun to do for our Seahawks blog, but that’s more hollerin’ than I’d feel good about for this here national site.

From a slightly more objective viewpoint, I want to point out that the highlight package from this game is MORE THAN 12 MINUTES LONG. I’m going to embed the video even though the NFL usually blocks it from being played on any site but YouTube. That’s how good it is.

youtube

OK, back to diary mode. I promise: Minimal fist-pumping from here on out.

— After a sack pushes the Texans out of field goal range, Watson faces 3rd and 14. All he does is calmly avoid pressure, set up his downfield blocking (RIP Justin Coleman), and get just enough for the first down.

Patience. @DeshaunWatson sets up his blocking, rushes for first down. #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/lpLeEzEcnx

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

The Texans kick a field goal and retake the lead.

— The pot roast sauce is boiling, and my wife is busy giving our daughter a bath. I bring it down to a simmer, add a butter/flour mixture to thicken the sauce, and remove the scorched wood-handled spatula from its proximity to the burner. Man, a kitchen fire would have really spiced the end of this column up, huh?

— The Seahawks TWICE have to settle for field goals despite having the ball inside the Texans’ 5-yard line, and even though they have their first lead of the day, it feels like a missed opportunity. There’s no chance the Texans are done scoring touchdowns.

— Washington loses a fumble, and somewhere while I was paying attention to the better game, the Cowboys seized control of this game. With a better line and a better running game, the away team looks unlikely to cede the lead.

When the camera cuts to the sidelines, everyone looks miserable. And I don’t just mean the home team, I mean EVERYONE: the players, the fans, the camera operators, the refs. It’s SO MUCH rain. Playing sports in the rain can be fun, but I can’t imagine watching it for three hours while standing in a deluge. Not without Wellingtons, dry-fit winter socks, and three Camelbaks of whiskey and hot cider.

— I’ve been pausing RedZone on and off so I can help with the kids’ bedtime routine — bath time, pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. By the time they go to bed, the Cowboys are up by ten with a quarter to play, and there are 11 minutes left in the Texans-Seahawks game.

Rather than go haymaker-by-haymaker, I’m going to add up the numbers: In the final 11 minutes of that game, there are five plays of 34 yards or more, four touchdowns, and two interceptions. That’s half a season for the Browns!

— The pot roast is pretty good, by the way. Our entire apartment smells like red wine and red meat. Probably not worth the cost or the effort (in other words, a typical Ina Garten recipe), but this will be the foundation of three meals for us this week. Pre-made meals are the cornerstone of a good marriage when you have kids.

— Trailing by four, the Seahawks have 1:39 and no timeouts to get a touchdown. They go 80 yards in three plays. Paul Richardson goes up and steals a 48-yard bomb, Tyler Lockett snags a 19-yarder, and Jimmy Graham goes uncovered on the game-winning score. As a wildly cynical Seahawks fan, I am agog at the ease and speed with which they pull it off; I barely had time to worry about failure before they took the lead.

The defense does much the same thing: With two timeouts and 21 seconds, a game-tying field goal isn’t out of the question for the Texans -- it might even be an easy assumption given this game. But Frank Clark sacks Watson on first down, and Richard Sherman’s second pick ends the game. What an absolutely incredible game.

Two of the best in the game. #Seahawks #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/hlQx2dzYci

— NFL (@NFL) October 29, 2017

— It has come to my attention that I started Dak Prescott over Russell Wilson in fantasy football. WHOOPS.

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‘ if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot ’ ‘ i hope you end up ok ’ ‘ i’m crying my best ’ ‘ how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit ’ ‘ some kid just skateboarded down my street crying ’ ‘ do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know. ’ ‘ i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself ’ ‘ which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears? ’ ‘ you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh ’ ‘ @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened ’ ‘ there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch ’ ‘ after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death ’ ‘ why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable ’ ‘ hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon ’ ‘ remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life ’ ‘ what the fuck is a good day ’ ‘ sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿ ’ ‘ is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight? ’ ‘ does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating ’ ‘ i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls ’ ‘ time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day ’ ‘ roses are red, i’m going to bed ’ ‘ u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy ’ ‘ i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented ’ ‘ just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe ’ ‘ you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always ’ ‘ come into bed and listen to the rain with me ’ ‘ i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved ’ ‘ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel, ’ ‘ i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender ’ ‘ concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that ’ ‘ i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly ’ ‘ does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it ’ ‘ “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better ’ ‘ i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it ’ ‘ i’m alive out of spite ’ ‘ the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up ’ ‘ a bad person? who, me? that would be correct, ’ ‘ you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn ’ ‘ my heart does a little “!” when I see you ’ ‘ i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit ’ ‘ i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn ’ ‘ still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again. ’ ‘ my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY ’ ‘ y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth ’ ‘ i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them ’ ‘ for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada ’ ‘ it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’ ‘ in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too ’ ‘ man this has been the worst life of my life ’ ‘ having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch ’ ‘ I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To ’ ‘ forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember ’ ‘ “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic ’ ‘ are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry ’ ‘ do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on ’ ‘ KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death ’ ‘ remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real ’ ‘ personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ’ ‘ my gender is “pretty boy” ’ ‘ what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage ’ ‘ what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license? ’ ‘ i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening ’ ‘ i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual ’ ‘ do re me fa so done with you ’ ‘ ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more ’ ‘ i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole ’ ‘ should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean ’ ‘ am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me ’ ‘ are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch ’ ‘ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ’ ‘ has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth? ’ ‘ i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy ’ ‘ if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao ’ ‘ my last words will probably be sarcastic ’ ‘ i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight ’ ‘ ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened ’ ‘ single and ready to find aliens ’ ‘ it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful ’ ‘ i want to make friends but at the same time no ’ ‘ there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne ’ ‘ hi i’m here to ruin everything ’ ‘ i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out ’ ‘ we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be ’ ‘ every time i speak i am reminded why i should not ’ ‘ every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough ’ ‘ i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it ’ ‘ the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved ’ ‘ i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone ’ ‘ we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at ’ ‘ i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on ’ ‘ my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning ’ ‘ on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine ’ ‘ they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means ’ ‘ i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things ’ ‘ i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know ’ ‘ assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number ’ ‘ there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me ’ ‘ if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’ ’ ‘ um that’s u’re* not ur ’ ‘ i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on ’ ‘ so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000 ’ ‘ literally want to be rich for the clothes ’ ‘ me??? upset???? yes constantly ’ ‘ a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’ ’ ‘ today’s schedule: suffer ’ ‘ my middle name is actually $$ ’ ‘ don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake ’ ‘ i want someone who will light a fire in me ’ ‘ i want someone who will light me on fire ’ ‘ i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru ’ ‘ who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am ’ ‘ why is there so much blood in my alcohol system ’ ‘ no offense but i am a blessing to this earth ’ ‘ haha oops i care about you ’ ‘ they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones ’ ‘ do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute?? ’ ‘ hi i’m here to ruin everything ’ ‘ one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me ’ ‘ me? a jealous hoe? absolutely ’ ‘ it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point ’ ‘ i think i may be gayer than i originally planned ’ ‘ i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry ’ ‘ me? overreacting? shit probably ’ ‘ i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing ’ ‘ is there a scholarship for trying ’ ‘ me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what????? ’ ‘ i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it ’ ‘ i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude ’ ‘ “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have ’ ‘ you’re important to me, you piece of shit ’

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