#reading for me is more about the actual writing than the members ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[bugswarm]

So when I was a kid, in like, 2006-2007, there was a game series called SingStar. It was a singing version of guitar hero basically. Anyways, my friend loved singing games and had gotten 2 of them. SingStar Rocks and SingStar Pop. I also really enjoyed them, so we played them all the time. But on the one game, SingStar Pop, there was an My Chemical Romance song, Helena. I was absolutely fascinated by the music video and loved the song and everything about it. (I was a really depressed kid and anything dark, morbid, etc was a fascination for me) So I of course, would beg to play that song all the time with her. But she didn’t like it. She thought it was weird and explicitly said “Boys aren’t supposed to wear makeup”. (Which, she also loved doing Fall Out Boy’s Dance, Dance and thats got Pete Wentz in eye liner, plus like, all the other reasons thats a fucked up statement but we were 10-11 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and made a rule that if we did that song, then we had to do one of the songs she liked that I hated. And I hated those more than my love of the weird funeral rock song that she would complain about every time we played it even if we were playing it in exchange for one I hated. So we almost never played Helena unless we did a random shuffle and it happened to pick it (which I celebrated every time but also regretted being happy about because I did it so infrequently that I couldn’t do well on the actual singing part of the game >.<).

For years, that was all I knew about mcr. They were “those boys who wore makeup that [childhood friend] said Im not supposed to like”. Then I got into high school and met this girl and we kissed after a party once, and I desperately needed her in my life more. And she said she was writing a fanfiction about a band and if I helped beta read it, then we would have something to talk about/more time to hang out. But I didn’t know the band at all. Turns out it was mcr. She wrote me a quick primer on each band member and the general traits I should know about them. I do not at all remember what she said beyond like, “Mikey plays Bass and is the brother of Gerard, who sings. Frank plays Guitar, Ray plays Guitar, and Bob used to play drums but doesn’t anymore” (this was post Bob leaving the band but before we all knew the extent of how bad he is). But anyways, I helped edit the fic and it took months and during the writing and editing process we ended up dating. Then 4 years later, we broke up, about 1 year after mcr broke up.

My ex is and isn’t important to this story because on the one hand, this is a story about how MCR has influenced my life over the years. But on the other hand, if it weren’t for My Chemical Romance, my ex and I would have never gotten together, or stayed together as long as we did. Our official first date was at an MCR concert. And those 4 years with them have some of the biggest impacts on my life to this day out of any other era of my life. A lot of who I am today can be directly attributed to things I experienced and learned through dating them. Hell I joined tumblr because of them, know about AO3 because of them, and learned…. So much about just. How actual real adult life works because of them.

But beyond my ex and I breaking up, MCR was still gone. They had broken up too. And I fell out of the fandom. Sure I still listened to the music and occasionally would talk about the band with other fans who I met, but it was bittersweet and painful.

Then in October 2019, I was at a halloween party hosted by my college. I was going through a bad relationship. And then news dropped that MCR had reunited. I could not pay attention to anything else. That was the most exciting thing that had happened in years. A month later, I was single. I had remembered that there were things more important in life and that I didn’t have to put up with the guy I was dating if I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. And my life got instantly better.

Then the pandemic hit. And shows were rescheduled. And the world put on hold. And then the blm protests happened. And my world got dark again. I dated another person who wasn’t good for me. (Nor I them). I restructured my life around what I thought I could settle for. And went on like that for over a year.

MCR did their European leg of their tour but I didn’t pay much attention. I never paid attention to tours I couldn’t attend since any other time in my life, the best we got was after the show we might get some nice photos or a grainy far away video, and it was rarely worth it. Plus with covid still happening, I kept expecting shows to be cancelled or rescheduled.

And then MCR got to the US leg of the tour. And at first, I planned to ignore it just the same as the European leg. And then a few days later, my news app showed me an article about one of their shows. Which I thought was odd because what could they have done that was so impressive that the news would write about it, and despite not having MCR news in my usual like, algorithmically decided interests, have it show up in my news feed. So I clicked it.

It was Nashville and suddenly a picture of Gerard Way wearing a cheerleader dress was directly in front of me. So I checked tumblr for the first time in a few months. Blogs that I had followed for fandoms over the years that had never been MCR blogs were posting about it. Old MCR blogs that had long been abandoned years ago but I never bothered to unfollow, suddenly were running and posting again. And I checked the tags to see what the general masses on tumblr were saying too. And every single post I saw, was an absolute outpouring of positivity and kindness and happiness. I didn’t see a single negative post. I didn’t even see any borderline inappropriate horny-on-main posts like I expected. I followed a few blogs and figured that was it. That I might check tumblr a bit more often and reblog some cool new-era-of-MCR posts. I figured nothing more shocking or emotionally investing could happen after the cheerleader dress. That was already crazy getting to see even that much.

But then they were playing Portland and a lot of the blogs I had followed were really hyped up and talking about livestreaming the show. And I wasn’t busy that night so I figured Id turn it on as background noise. And ended up watching every minute of it. The next day, I had a full break down. I couldn’t fathom settling with my life when something so incredibly amazing was out there.

That weekend, the local pop punk night DJ for the bar I go to occasionally was putting on an MCR themed/specific pop punk night, to commemorate the anniversary of the first time they played my city. I decided to make the cheerleader dress and wear it there and double it as a halloween costume. I made it in 3 days in time for the bar night.

Getting to the bar, I was nervous. The dress was short. And I’m afab but nonbinary, and I know most people look at me and say “that’s a girl” without thinking about it further. In a dress, that’s even more likely. In a short dress, I couldn’t imagine anything else happening. When I got to the bar, I was so nervous I was shaking. I immediately ordered 2 shots and a drink, hoping that being drunk would take away the anxiety. As I was waiting on my drinks, someone approached me to compliment the dress and ask me questions about how I sewed it. He wanted to buy a sewing machine for his girlfriend for Christmas and needed to know what kind to buy her. It was a nice chat.

Then, after, I went into the crowd proper. I had so many people compliment my dress, it was crazy. I had expected only a few people to even recognize it. It was a random outfit they wore once on stage, less than 2 weeks prior. Most of these people weren’t even hardcore MCR fans, just pop punk in general. But every single hardcore MCR fan I saw complimented the dress. And also? absolutely none of them assumed I was a girl. Not one. Most asked for pronouns. None were weirded out when I answered they/them. None looked at me like I was crazy or said anything negative. Some said they were too. It was the most shocking experience I have ever had in terms of my gender identity.

Out of the 4 people Ive dated in my life, 3 had been or later came out as (binary) trans people. All three of the ones who are trans, had made me feel like my gender wasn’t valid. (The cis ex I never ended up coming out to.) and those had been people who claimed to love me. People I saw every day. And yet here were a bunch of drunk MCR fans seeing someone who was very obviously female, and femme, and wearing a very short dress. And not one assumed or made me feel wrong or bad about my gender or presentation.

More time passed after that night and more shows came and went. LA nights 1-4 came and were insane every time.

And then last night. LA night 5. Of course I had to livestream it. I sobbed for most of the show. And being in a discord that was also livestreaming this show, and on tumblr seeing what people were posting, meant I got to see this extreme outpouring of love from all of the fans. And also see the outpouring of love from MCR themselves to their fans and to each other.

And for the first time since… Well pretty much ever really for me, the world doesn’t seem dark. There is so much hope and love in this world and I just. I don’t have the words to describe how incredibly much it means to me. Ive been on the verge of happy tears all day.

When I was first in the fandom back during the danger days era, there was always the cliche of saying “MCR saved my life”. And I understand it now. Do I think they saved my life? No. I did that. I went through hell to make it where I am now and no one can take that away from me. The same way the members of the band had to tear down the band and go through their own brands of hell to get to where they all are and get to play these shows for us at all. We had to do that on our own. The band didn’t do that for us.

But at the same time? Seeing that show last night? My Chemical Romance absolutely made my life worth saving. And I really really hope it makes theirs too.

#mcr #My Chemical Romance #mental health #mcr fans really make loving this band so much better #they did such a good job of cultivating the right fan group #i love them so much #i also spoke to my childhood friend this morning for semi-related reasons #and she apologized for being a dick about boys wearing makeup and the singstar stuff #we were kids then so I don’t blame her really but its nice to see that she’s grown #my posts #about me

[thepixelelf]

Okay I've decided to start reading + reblogging seventeen fics again just because my friends deserve reviews

#ive got a lot of mutuals/friends from tct that i want to support #even tho im not really interacting with svt content rn #reading for me is more about the actual writing than the members ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #idk why #I'll be adding blacklist filters too so yeah #svt #<filter/blacklist tag

[2-cute-4-school]

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

@cherry-jaemin ~ Hello! Can I request a dreamies reaction to you being an idol and their best friend? Thank you!! ♡ (◕‿◕✿)   ~~~  Thank you so much for your request it was really fun to write, hope you’ll like it!! :)))))

Mark Lee

he cherishes you A LOT (︶ω︶)

but i honestly see him as someone who keeps his private life private

so your close friendship is kept lowkey

but he finds time to spend time with you despite both your busy schedules even if it’s made through your phone screens :(((((

one thing he’s most grateful for is that you understand

you understand what it’s like spending hours in the practice room frustrated, you understand what it’s like constantly missing home, you understand what it’s like working nonstop with no breaks until your body forcefully gives up my heart breaks for him every damn time

you understand him

your friendship is so pure (•ˇ‿ˇ•)

like you can both be laughing your asses off one minute, mark flopping around like a fish on land

and the next one you can be having a therapy session usually consisting of wordless comfort

mark doesn’t seem an emotional person but if there’s one(1) thing that can shatter him is witnessing you on your breaking point

like you were usually the one to check up on him often and pull him away from work for a while before he drowned himself in it

so seeing you overworked and utterly exhausted made him sick

no one could convince him to leave your side for some time (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

you clung onto each other and mark softly scolded you for taking more care of him than yourself despite knowing that he’d do the same you’re like his baby he’s allowed to

other than your emotional moments you’re so playful together

‘bruh’ ‘dude’ ‘man’ - your daily vocabulary involving each other -_-

you sometimes gather in a studio and just write lyrics together or help each other with practice bonding time

basically you just vibe together so well and you’re just so grateful for each other’s presence because it eases your hectic and busy lives

you feel like a breath of fresh air to him and vice versa

Huang Renjun

friendship with him is basically clowns clowning each other 🤡

even more so since you can both joke about your shared career

he makes a tradition of reacting to your every m/v god help u he clowns you from the first second to the last

“looking a bit constipated aren’t we, y/n? i guess that hotpot didn’t sit well with you” <(￣︶￣)>

“that’s just my face when i think about u, garden troll”

*huff* *incoherent mumbles of protest*

but he secretly streams THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR M/V and forces the rest of the dreamies to watch it several times too

you watch his radio every evening and sometimes even send in cringy messages just to get a reaction out of renjun lol

so basically you’re super supportive of each other but in your own ways

imagine sleepovers ma friend that’s a wiiild ride

ghost stories, alien conspiracies, crazy theories - THE MAIN MENU

bet y’all renjun can’t sleep without someone he can hold onto after watching or talking about scary things ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭

and you wouldn’t call that cuddling no, it’s more like....strangling....but with love....kinda....yeah that sure  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on another note, you made it you personal mission to lift his confidence whenever SM doesn’t treat him right (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) y’all evil cockroaches

and renjun always promotes you subtly during his lives

“ ‘renjun can you give us a song recommendation?’ yeah sure actually there’s this song-” spoiler alert : it’s always one of your songs

one of the biggest secrets in kpop is who drew that *absolutely* gorgeous portrait of you that you proudly showed in your own live

spoiler alert x2 : it’s renjun, it’s always renjun

your friendship is really one of a kind

basically best friends lovingly clowning and supporting each other at the same time precious am i rite

Lee Jeno

jeno seems like a very comforting person to me

like he’s someone you can go and vent to about all the pressure of your career and what not

and he’d just listen to you and hold your hand tightly in his if you’re able to meet face to face, he has his own way of grounding you when everything gets hectic （＾ｖ＾）

he’s a lowkey hypeman

whenever you happen to perform at the same awards show as dream he makes sure to dance and cheer cutely for you o(≧∇≦o)

you won an award?? this man is so proud he hollers louder than your fans well basically he’s your no.1 fan soo :))))))

he always tries to shield you away from hate so it’s one of the reasons he doesn’t disclose much of your closeness lowkey protective jeno

you had an airport accident once common against idols unfortunately

lemme tell ya, jeno went NUTS  (｀⌒´メ)

he’s not a confrontational person but he CAN and WILL be when it comes to you

he babies the heck out of you for the next few days :3

and once he has the occasion to turn on vlive he takes a minute to *calmly* explain that while idols love their fans, it’s not fine for fans to invade their privacy and personal space preach sister

you were also close to flipping the sasaengs’s shit up when they kept bothering keno with calls leave the man alone jeez (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he always reminds you to to take care of yourself

“don’t push yourself too hard” “don’t drink too much coffee, you’ve seen what it can do to jaemin and we don’t want that now, do we?”

he often covers your dances ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ and nails them

“jeno you’re dancing better than me on MY OWN SONG”

“idk what you’re talking about” (＾ω＾)

overall your cheerleader and each other’s poorly read not at all paid bodyguards

Lee Haechan

“your sun is here to enlighten your life!!!!!”

“gtfo hyuck”

this man knows no privacy

he’s ruthless and he visits whenever he wants even if it means that’s on a wednesday AT 3 AM (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

he tells you it’s because your ‘just forcefully woken up’ is the best blackmailing material

in reality it’s because he just misses you A LOT ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )

this rascal is busy a lot and you’re busy a lot and so every single moment spent with you is so so precious to you both

he gets overwhelmed by this feeling of longing sometimes so he acts on instinct and just barges in wherever you are

but you can also count on him at any time

*middle of the night* *donghyuck sleepily answering his phone* *sniff* *sniff* “hyuck”

“yeah what’s wrong??? who am i beating up???? should i take johnny too???? just say the name cutie (*｀Ω´*)”

you only ended up crying about missing his cuddles

*sigh* “you only love me for my cuddles”

you once told him fleetingly that you missed breakfast and lunch

you found 2 boxes of takeout outside your apartment already paid by a certain someone i need a hyuck pls

he’s also quite vocal about your friendship and randomly mentions you

“y/n told me that i look cutest with my baby belly so unless you wanna pick a fight with them lay off gremlin” ー(￣～￣)ξ

both your dreams are to get to collab on something anything it would be heavenly for hyuck to colllab with anyone tbh

nothing can keep you 2 apart, your duo is just too strong and the world just isn’t ready for you

Na Jaemin

he’s such a warm person

he babies you but just because he wishes you’d have more time to spend with each other ( *’ω’* )

so the only way to quench his worry is texting you daily to make sure you’re alright and taking care of yourself or he’d personally do it

the way he talks about you tho (╯✧∇✧)╯ like you put the stars in the sky you did for him

“y/n is actually quite good at this game, i ate dirt when we played together”

“y/n looks so pretty in those pictures we took together” Σ(*ﾉ´>ω<｡`)ﾉ

“y/n is my favorite model end of story”

talking about his love for photography, you’re his model 80% of the time

his camera roll is filled with pictures of you every time you find enough time in both your busy schedules to meet up

he has enough to open a fanpage if he hasn’t done that already ;)

in turn you’d secretly dedicate parts of the lyrics you wrote to him

i’m telling you he would CRY hearing your sweet voice sing such beautiful words meant for him he would feel so appreciated pls ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

he always says that he has no other friends other than his members so having you validating the strong bond he feels with you would elevate him to cloud 9  :,(((((

i can imagine you two meeting on a variety show a mess that would be

you can’t be too close in front of the cameras in order not to give the wrong impressions

but behind the scenes you’re not leaving each other’s side, chatting and clinging onto each other the entire time (≡^∇^≡)

and even on screen as long as you’re allowed to you’re attached to the hip, ALWAYS beside each other

in conclusion you’re the besties everyone is envious of and wishes to share such a precious bond with someone ∩(︶▽︶)∩

Zhong Chenle

y’all are basically the ‘you can’t sit with us’ pair -_-

another one who i think would keep your friendship private

like it is public that you two are friends but neither of you shares more about your meetups and so on

but chenle is lowkey highkey whipped

chenji making keychains for the rest of nct? +1 for y/n (/^▽^)/

surprise party for chenle’s birthday? you’re dressed as staff waiting for him to notice you after cameras are turned off he screeched so loud the entire building heard him and then proceeded to cling onto you forever

you know how chenle took jisung to him home in china? he took you with him as often as you both could afford the time to he even rescheduled a few times to make it convenient for you to come along (｡•́︿•̀｡)

he buys all versions of your albums cuz he can

going to each other’s concerts!!!!!

i can imagine you accompanying his family to the dream concert (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥) the same one when jeno and jaemin decided to get nakey nakey yes

you’re texting nonstop istg (◔_◔)

chenle can always be seen texting in the waiting rooms and so on

you’re his source of confidence before concert and certain schedules

also you’re probably discussing your hangout plans :))))

which often ends up in playing basketball in a park at night and then getting bored or tired and just wandering aimlessly around

you secretly record duets together unreleased unfortunately ( ب_ب )

and he teaches you how to play piano

basically your friendship is very playful and you find a comfort place in each other to remind yourselves that you’re allowed to have fun and live your lives o(*>ω<*)o

Park Jisung

i think it took quite a while to befriend him

his shyness can get the best of him sometimes it’s okay bby

but once you got hi to break out of his shell you’ve got yourself a lifelong best friend congrats (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

he shows his caring nature through small acts

texts you good luck and encourages you before award shows

becomes your dramatic weatherman

literally glitches if you ever have even a *slightly* sexy concept

“how did you like the dance, jisungie?”

“i-uh...um...it was...yeah...it was really uh *coughs* *clears throat* it was NICE, yeah...nice” (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

ofc he *absolutely* loved it, he just respects you and looks up to you too much to make any further commentary

you coach each other through dance routines :3

you never fail to calm down and give confidence to jisung whenever his nerves get in the way

jaemin actually specifically asked you to look after jisung during his hiatus

jisung’s TMI’s sometimes involve you  (´ㅂ`๑)

“today’s tmi? i started working on a surprise for you czennies...and i got help from a very talented performer”

the surprise was a dance cover choreographed and performed with you that was the death of your fandoms ੧| ⊗ ▾ ⊗ |୨

you can be considered childhood friends so you understand each other with little to no words spoken

that’s why everyone loves your ‘partners in pure crime’ friendship

#nct scenarios #nct angst #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #nct dream fic #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct fic #nct jisung #nct haechan #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct chenle

[jadelotusflower]

Roundup: August 2021

This month: Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea, Don’t Call it a Cult, The Secret Garden, Showbiz Kids, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Lucifer.

Reading Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - I’ve been meaning to read the Wide Sargasso Sea for a long, long time, but first I thought I’d revisit the source material. I find my opinion hasn’t much changed - I still love the prose, still love Jane as a character, and still find Rochester extremely unappealing. The section with Jane at school is the most engaging for me, and her early time as a governess at Thornfield, but as soon as Rochester shows up I just find him so irritating I have no idea why Jane loves him so much (other than he was the first man to ever show her a scrap of attention). I mean, I know to an extent - I've read the Takes, and part of fiction is accepting what you want for the character as a reader and what they want for themselves can be two different things, and that's not the fault of the text. I can be satisfied by the ending because Jane gets what she wants, I just can’t help but wonder about a Jane who was found by John Eyre before she went to Thornfield, or who took her inheritance and made her own way after Moor House. Byronic heroes just aren't my thing I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Wide Sargasso Sea (Jean Rhys) - The first Mrs Rochester of Jane Eyre strikes an uneasy tone to a modern reader; she does not utter a word in the novel, is depicted as animalistic and almost demonic, her story only told in a self-serving manner by Rochester, and conveniently disposed of so Jane can return to claim him. Rhys reimagines Bertha as Antoinette, a “white Creole” of Jamaica in a postcolonial take on the racial/social prejudices and hierarchy only hinted at in Eyre, where Bertha being Creole primarily an aspect of her Otherness, and in which Rochester describes himself as being desired as a husband because he was "of good race" . In Sea, although Antoinette is white (passing, perhaps), he sees her "not English or European either" and this contributes to his rejection of her (and perhaps his willingness to believe she is mad). The novel is surprisingly short - it skips over the meeting and courtship of Antoinette and Rochester (tellingly unnamed in the novel) entirely, jumping directly from her childhood/coming of age to the couple already married, and over much of Bertha's (renamed by Rochester) sad life in the attic. Still, there's a density to the writing, much is implied beyond the sparse use of words and recurring imagery - subjugation, reflection, and of course, fire - when freed slaves (Rhys changes the timeframe to after the passing of the Emancipation Act of 1833) set fire to Antoinette's family plantation, a pet parrot whose wings have been clipped by her English step-father Mason, cannot flee and falls to a fiery doom, in a grim omen of Bertha's fate. It did, however, leave me wanting more - I understand Rhys' stylistic choices and restraint, but in her effort to give voice to the voiceless, Antoinette/Bertha remains somewhat an enigma. Don’t Call it a Cult: Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM (Sarah Berman) - I continue to be disturbed but intrigued by the NXIVM case, not only because of my abhorrence of MLMs/pyramid schemes, but my bafflement as to how this thoroughly unremarkable man was able to hold sway over so many women. My mild criticism of the two documentaries on this subject was that they tended to jump around in time so you never really got a good idea of what happened when. This book provides a well researched, detailed summary of events and linear chronology of Raniere’s perverse pathology reaching all the way back to childhood, and so is both an excellent supplement to the already informed, and broad overview to those new to the case. Berman is a Vancouver-based journalist who was present at Raniere’s trial and gives insight into witness testimony, supported by her own interviews and extensive research. There's less of a focus on the sensationalised celebrity members, with greater emphasis on the lesser known victims - including the three Mexican sisters who were all abused by Raniere, one of whom was kept confined to a room for years. It's difficult reading, consolation being the

knowledge that Raniere is rotting in prison and that his crimes finally caught up with him. Watching The Secret Garden (dir. Marc Munden) - Spoilers, if one needs a spoiler warning for a 110 year old novel. One of those stories that is adapted every generation, and generally I have no problem with this, since new adaptations can often bring something new or be a different take on old material (see Little Women 2019). But a part of me can’t help feel why bother with this when the perfect 1993 version exists. There is an Attempt at something new with this film, moving the setting forward to 1947 (Mary’s parents having died during the Partition), and turning the garden from a small walled secret to a mystical, huge wonderland full of ferns and flowers and endless sun. But in doing so, the central metaphor is lost - rather than Mary discovering something abandoned and run wild, gently bringing it back to life with love and care, she merely discovers a magical place that requires no effort on her part. There’s also less of a character arc for Mary, remaining unpleasant far into the proceedings, forcing Colin to visit the garden instead of it being his true wish, and generally succeeding by imposing her will on everyone else. In many ways she’s more like Burnett's other child heroine Sarah Crewe - the film opens I’m with her telling stories to her doll including Ramayana, which is eerily reminiscent of Alfonso Cuaron's (also perfect) 1995 adaptation of A Little Princess. But I suppose a sliver of credit where it's due - Julie Walters' Mrs Medlock is less of an antagonist, with Colin Firth's Lord Craven being Mary's primary obstacle. There's also a subplot with Mary's mother's depression following the death of her sister being the reason for her neglect (and Merlin alum Rupert Young shows up briefly as Mary's father) but like shifting the time period, there just doesn't seem to be a point to it. The climax of the film involves the Manor burning down (writer Jack Thorne stealing from Rebecca too, lol), with Mary and Craven have a very calm conversation as fire and smoke surrounds them. It’s all very bizarre, but also…rather dull? Don't bother with this, just watch the 1993 film again. Showbiz Kids (dir. Alex Winter) - a really interesting documentary on the titular subject - Winter was himself a child actor on Broadway before his film career kicked off in The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted, and has been able to assemble a broad range of interview subjects - Mara Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Wil Wheaton, Jada Pinkett Smith among others - former child actors, those still in the business, and some up and comers like Disney star Cameron Boyce (who I was sad to see in the coda has passed away). We also follow two young hopefuls - Marc, attending acting classes and auditioning in pilot season, yet to book a job but his parents are invested in "his" dream, and Demi, already established on Broadway but having to start to make choices between a career and a childhood. There's no voiceover, no expert opinions in this, letting the actors speak for themselves, but there is a telling juxtaposition of Marc returning home, jobless but having fun in the pool with his friends, while Demi has to cancel the summer camp she had been so looking forward to because she has booked a new role. The film is fairly even handed, but ultimately I took away that there just seems to be more harm than not in this industry, and abuses of many kinds. It does make you wonder about the ethics of child acting, at least in the current system where the cautionary tales are plentiful. Masters of the Universe: Revelation (episodes 1-5) - Mild spoilers I guess? I was never really into He-Man as a kid, other than the Secret of the Sword movie, so most of the in jokes and references in this went over my head. I have to admit, it was actually seeing all the outrage that made me want to check this out and see what all the complaining was about. I actually…really enjoyed it?!? I’m sympathetic to the complaints of a bait and switch (creators really need to learn to say

“just wait and see”), but other than that in my view the rest seemed completely unfounded. Adam/He-Man being killed in the first episode and the impact that has on Eternia and those left behind is actually a really interesting premise. This isn’t a TLJ situation; in contrast everyone (except Evil-Lyn) is always going on about how much they miss Adam, and the whole point of the first arc is him coming back. There’s also a nice little detail of Adam in Preternia (heroes heaven) choosing to remain as he is rather than as He-Man where all his predecessors have chosen their “ultimate” forms. I love him and his Magical Girl transformation. As for Teela - female characters can’t win, it seems. If they are perfect, they’re Mary Sues, if they have flaws, they’re unlikeable. Teela is Going Through things and is on a journey, but I often feel (and it seems the case here) that people confuse a character arc with author intent. No! Just because a character says/does something it doesn't mean you're supposed to agree with them! Some of Teela's actions may be petty and her demeanor less than sweet, but people make bad choices as a response to grief, and I actually thought her anger over Adam never telling her his secret and how that manifested was a pretty interesting take. I'll be interested to see the next half of the season, and ignore the ragebait youtube commentary. One more thing - Evil-Lyn (perfectly voiced by Lena Headey) was an absolute delight. Lucifer (season 5 part 2): They’ve basically given up on the procedural side of things by now and are leaning heavily into the mythology, which works for me since the case of the week is always the least interesting part of any show. It also struck me this season that there’s gender parity in the main cast (Lucifer, Amenadiel, Dan and then Chloe, Maze, Ella, Linda) - and actually, that’s more women than men. How often does that happen?!? I can’t say I’m particularly engaged with the Lucifer/Chloe pairing, but am happy to go along with it since that’s where the whole plot revolves. The best scenes for me this season were with God’s Dysfunctional Family, even if the lead up to the finale felt rushed (I understand the need to wrap things up in case of cancellation but still). I would have liked to see more of the sibling dynamics between the angels and less romantic drama, but hey. The character death got me, as well. I didn't see it coming and I didn't realise how much I had enjoyed that character until they were gone and well...it got me. I see the last season is coming soon, I'm not exactly sure where they can go from here, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Writing I was actually quite sick this month with a throat infection, so wasn't in the best frame of mind to get anything finished like I had planned to. I'm going to hold off posting the word count this month and roll it over to September when hopefully I've actually posted things.

#roundup #reading watching writing #august roundup

[justalitlecreacher]

Ok as much as I hate the events of the Rako Hardeen arc in Clone Wars and deeply wish that the council/Obi-Wan had at the very least told Anakin and Ahsoka what they were planning, I feel like the arc represents a very important turning point in Anakin’s fall and actually shows an important bit of character growth from Attack of the Clones.

Tl;Dr: The Rako Hardeen arc is my favorite and least favorite arc in all of Clone Wars because while it puts Anakin through unnecessary pain it also gives a lot of insight into why he may have fallen in Revenge of the Sith and shows some important character growth

Ok; the most important part of this post/analysis (I think) is to remember how close Anakin and Obi-Wan are. Anakin was placed in Obi-Wan’s care at the age of 9 and from then on Obi-Wan practically raised him. In Attack of the Clones we see Anakin refer to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father not once, but twice, and one of those two times was directly to Obi-Wan.”OBI-WAN:  Why do I think you are going to be the death of me?! ANAKIN:  Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.”(Attack of the Clones) and later to Padmé “...He's [Obi-Wan] like my father,...”. This is especially important because when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi in The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is literally the only friendly/familiar face in the Temple. Plus in the comics (disclaimer: I have not read all the comics just bits and pieces) we get a glimpse of Anakin training with the other padawans and it’s made clear that at least some of them don’t like Anakin at all. One padawan even refers to him as “just a slave” when shit talking him during training.(which like super fucked up; they def should’ve gotten in trouble cause that don’t seem very Jedi of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway; we’ve established Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond. So let’s turn our attention towards someone who deserved so much better; Shmi Skywalker. Her death in Attack of the Clones was the first major turning point in Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. There is really no excuse for Anakin’s actions after Shmi’s death; he goes to a very dark place, and likely taps into the dark side of the force during the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. But that’s not what we’re talking about rn so back on track.

I bring Shmi’s death up to say that while Anakin was tracking down Obi-Wan’s “murderer” I didn’t fully realize that Obi-Wan had disguised himself as Hardeen and I was genuinely worried that Anakin was about to unalive an innocent man. I really believe that the only thing that stopped Anakin from trying (and maybe succeeding) to kill Obi/Rako was like he said: he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted him to. This is important because the last time Anakin lost a family member he brutally murdered an entire village of Tusken Raiders, children included, and I think it’s safe to say that Shmi “the biggest problem in the universe is nobody helps each other” Skywalker would not have wanted that. I’ve finally arrived at one of my main points; this arc shows a crucial bit of character growth by showing an Anakin that is capable of thinking his actions through and not just reacting out of anger even after the loss of one of the most important people in his life; something he was previously shown incapable of when his anger and grief blind him. This turns this arc into an sort of midway point on Anakin’s fall; he’s clearly tempted to give into his anger and pain again, but he is able to resist this time. A younger Anakin may have killed “Hardeen” then and there. 

This scene really contrasts with Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith in a way im not sure how i feel about yet. On one hand it has potential to make Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith feel too out of character. We just saw Anakin able to see past his own emotions in the wake of the death of a loved one so what makes this different? On the other hand this arc can be used to show just how desperate Anakin is to not have to feel that way ever again. It’s also good for showing how much influence Palpatine has had on Anakin in the space between this arc and Revenge of the Sith. As for why Anakin may be unable to think past his own feelings in Revenge of the Sith when he appeared perfectly capable in the arc, a likely reason is that there really wasn't anything Anakin thought he could do for Obi-Wan anymore because he believed him to be dead, but with Padmé, Anakin knew she could be saved if he could just get her the proper care. But his fear of being exiled from the Jedi Order, and his increasing lack of faith in the council led him to believe that he had no choice other than to trust in Palpatine. And no hate to Yoda but im sure when Anakin did try to reach out (even as vaguely as he did) Yoda’s response of “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” didn't appear to be very helpful (especially considering that he is well aware that listening to Ahsoka’s visions and responding appropriately saved Padmé’s life (not sure if Anakin knows about that though)). These three episodes show pretty well how/why Anakin may have felt that he had nowhere to turn but Palpatine.

These groups of episodes actually show negative character growth (is that the right term?) in Anakin. He goes from commiting mass murder rated E for everyone to understanding that his loved ones would not want him to seek revenge in this way, but then he backslides into this lightsaber is rated E for everyone by Revenge of the Sith. Logically he should know that Padmé would never have wanted him to do what he did; he has to know what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s incapable of seeing another way out because he cannot handle even the thought of losing Padmé. He’s too desperate to not lose her, and so sure that there’s no other option that he manages to convince himself that he needs to do this for her. I find this entire arc really interesting but unless i want to be here all day the most i can do here is point out that it exists and that it peaks in the Rako Hardeen arc. Surprisingly i do have a life outside of writing long posts, and i lack the time and energy to analyze all of Clone Wars and write about every event that led to Darth Vader (there are so many). On top of that i actually haven’t seen all of Clone Wars; just the episodes most important to understanding Anakin’s fall.

Onto my next point, we just talked about the growth Anakin showed in this episode; now onto why i believe that this arc was instrumental in Anakin’s fall. (Disclaimer: I do not think that removing this arc alone could have saved Anakin, but i do believe it would have helped a good bit). I’ve already touched on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond so im not gonna do that again. 

Ive said it before and i will say it again; it was super fucked up of Obi-Wan and everyone else on the Council to use Anakin’s (and Ahsoka’s) reactions Obi-Wan’s “death” for their own gain. It was super manipulative and they absolutely knew what they were doing.  Obi-Wan even explicitly says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.”(Deception season 2 episode 15). He knows just how devastated Anakin would be by his death, and he uses like Anakin and his mental and emotional well-being mean nothing to him (I know this isn’t true but its probably not hard to believe that someone doesn't care about your feelings when they’ve just tricked you into thinking they’ve died for their own gain). The Council really proves time and time again that they do not care about Anakin’s (or maybe anyone’s; Anakin was far from the only one close to Obi-Wan left unaware of his deception) mental or emotional wellbeing, but tbh i think this is the worst example of how callous the Council can be. And on top of all of that it was Obi-Wan who decided to keep Anakin in the dark Obi-Wan who should have known better; if we assume that Anakin is at least 20 in Clone Wars; Obi-Wan has known Anakin for at least 10 years, and has practically raised him from the age of 9, and yet somehow, somehow he had this idea and didn't see a single thing wrong with it. (And they really picked the worst possible person for this; like yea let’s trick the most unstable Jedi we have into thinking his closest friend/ father figure was murdered)

This arc’s main purpose (IMO) is to really show the beginnings of Anakin losing faith in the Jedi and putting more and more faith in Palpatine. Anakin trusted Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan betrayed that trust. Beyond that Palpatine is able to make Anakin begin to doubt how much the Council is telling him if they didnt tell him something as crucial as this. We even see Anakin parroting Palpatine’s “concerns” of the council not telling Anakin the full truth the Obi-Wan and the end of the arc. This arc is instrumental is establishing Anakin’s loss of faith in the council and shows how much he trusts Palpatine and sees him as a real friend.

Anyway I’m sure I had more I wanted to touch onand if I remember I will definitely edit this post but for the now I just wanna say. A) I love Obi-Wan a lot; this arc just really was not it. I do not understand how he thought this was in any way acceptable but I do still really like him. B) i fully understand that Anakin’s actions are his own and he does take a share of the blame for his own fall.

#what am i doing? #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #rako hardeen #star wars #clone wars #deception arc #clone wars deception #long post #ramble #im so sorry except im not #i hesitate to use the word hyperfixation but not a day has gone by that i havent thougt of Anakin Skywalker at least once #in so long #i have a problem

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏  the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

#(i dunno what is up with these i always end up under the weather when i need to do these 😔) #BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITHC!!!!!!!!!! #BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #YALL IM STILL LOSING MY S HIT™ #THE ANXIETY LEADING UP TO THE MV RELEASE WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND #NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏 #EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[jaeminlore]

bard!taeil ^_^

commissioned by @warmau luv u thank you for giving me free reign i’m sorry i used it all on world building

words: 5k+

a/n: sorry this is a bit late ! also for any mistakes !

okay first thought when given free reign of a story is PRINCE or ROYAL bc that is where my mind is for every story i love a good castle moment

i just think they’re neat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but yknow i was thinking about bards and also my skyrim game and how annoying yet precious the bards are in the inn. and if that is not taeil i will eat my own foot,,,,, like omg i forgot his name i think it’s mikael?? he’s at the inn in riften!!! i beat him up to preserve the honor of some lady and now we’re best friends ^_^ anyways he’s lovable and it makes me think of taeil

i miss taeil i read a post about how precious he is and it made me feel some type of way ,,,,, my favorite taeil era was cherry bomb bc the CHOKER and the EYELINER and he just felt like the embodiment of that tiktok sparkly filter

okay now that that’s over

this story is set in a lone kingdom called intima,,,, intima is a word meaning the heart of something and it’s where the word intimacy comes from and it makes me feel warm and happy so i assume it will make the people of intima happy too !!!!! it’s an island centered around the sun — and YOU my dear reader are the eldest princess, the first before six younger siblings !!!

as the oldest, the throne is in your future, and you are set to be the reigning queen WHICH you are quite excited about this isn’t one of those aus where you hate your kingdom and your job and serving,, you LOVE your people and your culture and you genuinely can’t wait to become queen

i’m going to set the world!!!! bc world-building gives me endorphins >.>

intima is a HEAVILY floral-filled island. the clivia (or bush lily) is the capitol flower, often associated with patriotism or pride for intima as an island!!! it’s the flower people pin to their chest during coronations or royal festivals!! and the yellow/orange/coral shades are often what you and your siblings wear to represent yourselves and your island.

intima is a land of equality!!! bc i said so!! and also because the culture is purely built on gratitude and kindness ,,,,, i like to think the spirituality or “religion” in the culture is the worship of the sun and the warmth it brings,,,, a sort of serving the thing that shines a path for the hopeless!!!! there are hundreds of poems and legends and songs about the sun and who she once was and why she blesses intima with her harvests and all kinds of other things and i do have the time to get into it but i know all of you do not

intima also believes that art is hard work!!! and it’s one of the most respected jobs there are!!! like a busker or a street painter are often praised and it’s expected of islanders to tip them and stay to praise them a bit!!! and usually they’ll sell their art (if that’s what they made) afterwards!!!! and poets will read for the children and adults alike and they’ll sell their services to like,,, people who struggle to put their words down on paper and it’s all very helpful and lovely

farmers and fishermen are well respected as well!!!! ofc they bring the food in and the vendors at the marketplace sell them while the artists keep entertainment going. it’s a lovely system and often as the seasons change people will shift their jobs so a vendor will decide to create for a season or a fisherman may decide he wants to sell wares,,, it’s a system so that people can enjoy where they are as well as express they’re creativity properly

and the wealth is distributed equally so that no one goes hungry!!! everyone helps each other out to find a job that fits them!!! and not many people take advantage of the system because it’s quite shameful to refuse helping your fellow neighbor

so yes!!! kindness and helping each other out is not only expected but it is often an indicator of how respected you are as a member of society

ungrateful people get the shame cone >:(

the island is HUGE and set in a sort of jagged star shape, with villages and markets surrounding the castle itself!!! and there’s a moat surrounding the castle made from the streams that trail in from the sea ,,,, and the harbors are quite beautiful if you stand atop the castle walls you can see the ships come and go and it is just *chef’s kiss* immaculate

and the moat is so beautiful i can just imagine the ferns!! like palm brush ferns and tiger lilies and birds of paradise just lining either side of the moat,,, so pretty :( and the moat isn’t to keep people out!!! it’s actually a natural pool for the villagers when it gets too hot :)!! but otherwise the drawbridge is always down so people can come and go throughout the courtyards

similarly, the castle walls run down the island as main roads, leading to the actual castle where the main courtyard sits.

you and your siblings are very personal with your subjects, and it’s not uncommon for the princes and princesses to walk hand in hand with those of a lower class than them,,,, esp bc there isn’t really a class system in place. since wealth is evenly distributed,,,, it’s evenly distributed to the royals as well, and everyone lives comfortably. the only added expense are gifts!!! so if there’s a birthday or something more wealth might be offered to the recipients by default

the courtyards!!! are so beautiful!!! there are four in total but the one i want to focus on is the coronation courtyard!!! this is the courtyard where the coronations and celebrations are held!!!

but when there aren’t any coronations, it’s where people hang out to have picnics or sell their wares or tell stories!!!

and this is where we see taeil!!!!

every day our hero brings his life and ~sings~ a different story to whoever happens to be walking by. he’s actually hugely popular with many of intima’s people,,,, mostly because his voice is like HONEY and his smile reminds everyone of home

he has like,,,,, kind big brother who only comes home for thanksgiving but each time is more memory-filled than the last energy ,,,,, anyways

you don’t actually notice him at first!!! because usually he isn’t in the coronation courtyard.

also you’re too busy planning your OWN coronation

#queenshit and all you know the vibes

it actually isn’t until yuta points out that there is a “very tiny man singing about how beautiful you are” in the courtyard that you’re actually like,,,, okay,,,,,, interesting..?

and at first you’re like shut up yuta i’m trying to work on seating placements you know ten from iacto can’t sit beside donghyuck from stella or they’ll start a prank war during MY coronation

also there are a lot of people who write songs about you and your siblings that’s just how the vibes are !!!!!

you and your siblings are known for your beauty and kindness, so many creatives often use y’all as muses

so you just brush it off

and go back to your planning

which actually consists of you begging your advisors to make little goodie bags for everyone on the entire island (they WILL eventually agree because who doesn’t want a small bee charm necklace or some cleansing crystals)

but i digress

it’s not until you visit the courtyard to finalize the seating arrangements that you actually see the man your brother was talking about

at first you don’t even realize it’s the same person

sure, this man is short, but he is nothing like the unattractie picture you painted in your mind. not that short men are unattractive, but most men who hit on you are often uhhhh creepy and old bc intima is a beautiful place but men are still a disease

this man is, dare you say it, handsome.

like prettily handsome

his hair is a warm chestnut that falls over his eyebrows in loose curls. strands curl and bend around his ears and his eyes are lined with what seems like kohl

his lips are pursed, and he’s too far away for you to hear him, but he seems to be singing

you tear your eyes away from his coral-colored jerkin and try to focus on the seating arrangements

in the end, you leave the work to your advisors, choosing to break away and listen to the lonesome bard

and just IMAGINE for a moment taeil singing like real people do by hozier

just taeil singing any hozier song i cannot get over the thought of it >_>

those are the vibes for this story

taeil a sexy irish bog man

not really but i’ll bookmark the idea for later !!!!

okay so imagine him singing real people do or sunshine and it’s so gentle and warm coming from his mouth that you’re entranced at the very start of it,,,, you’ve heard tales of sirens luring sailors into the sea,,, and they’ve always sounded quite far fetched but now that you’re hearing taeil’s voice you’re like,,,,,, maybe it’s possible

you sidle up to another listener and ask for his name

“taeil moon”

it’s a befitting name. you run it over your tongue for a good while until it feels familiar,,, and when the song is finally over, you clap and shout a few praises, thinking your voice would get caught in the crowd

but taeil catches your gaze, and he strums a sour note on his lute. it’s a swift apology and an even swifter exit as he leaves the courtyard.

you watch him go, unsure as to why he seemed so uncomfortable knowing you were there. “is he alright?” you ask the same listener who told you taeil’s name. they answer, “he’s never left a set before. perhaps you frightened him, princess.”

you DID frighten him. moving into taeil’s point of view, the man has been declaring his infatuation with you for months now and you’ve never come to listen. he suddenly feels naked and vulnerable,,, the one person he chose to write songs about is the future queen and he could very well be executed for such unauthorized poetry

(as if executing is something intima didn’t outlaw ages ago)

so taeil is just a tiny bit dramatic, and he clings to the honest hope that you came to his show late and didn’t hear his declaration. his “all my love songs of now and forever after are for the princess y/n” that he starts every set with. he feels like a fool, so he finds himself hiding in the royal gardens, far behind the brush and hedges, where a lone forgotten fountain rusts. still water bubbles out of the spout, but there isn’t enough for the fountain to actually flow, so it just makes an incredibly awkward gurgling sound as taeil strums his lute and tries to collect his thoughts

taeil doesn’t just like you because you’re the princess. it goes so much deeper than that; he has one faint memory of his graduation out of bards college (it’s a thing in skyrim so it’s a thing in my au) and it consists of you meeting with all of the graduates and giving them each a bush lily from your own personal garden,,,,,,, you also wrote everyone a handwritten letter addressing them by name !!!!!!!!!

and it’s not much to go by at all, and taeil would feel incredibly foolish even bringing up the memory, or the fact that he keeps the card in his memeriy box,,,,, because it’s obvious that you don’t remember him from it, but he can still remember the color of your eyes up close, and he knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end of your smile,, and just the memory of your fingers grazing his when you handed him the flower and card makes his cheeks warm with childlike fondness

he’s a fool, he knows. he’s also a coward, because he ran at the very sight of you

“you ran off before i could tell you how lovely your voice is.”

taeil falls into the rusting fountain as soon as you round the hedge. he has no idea how you managed to find him, but he can’t really think much about it because he’s soon coughing and shivering from the cold and dirty water he’s just fallen into. he mourns his lute,,,,,, just floating in the shallow water ,,,,,, it’s not dead it’s just wet :/

“oh dear i’m so sorry!” you grab his hand and help him out of the fountain, wincing at the way his clothes cling to his body. (Wait. wait. taeil’s lil baby tummy.... through the sheer shirt,,,,,,, like after he takes off his jerkin to dry it out :(((( omg he’s so cute) “i just wanted to compliment you.”

“thank you, princess,” taeil manages to get out. he paints a smile on his face even though he feels like he’s never been put in a more awkward situation. “it means a lot, honestly.” he decides to avoid the topic of having a crush on you, because he thinks he has experienced plenty of embarrassing moments today, thank you very much. so he changes the topic completely. “good luck, uh, on your coronation. i’m looking forward to it.”

you lower yourself into a mock curtsy. “why thank you. save me a dance during the after party, won’t you?”

taeil nods, not trusting himself to speak, and you bid him goodbye

y’all know taeil’s face where he’s just cheesin. like :D

that’s his face for the rest of the day. and every day up until the coronation !!!!!!

and you visit him!!!! when you can !!!!!!!!

taeil has a very easygoing personality i feel like after the initial awkwardness he’d actually be the one to initiate a friendship!!! like sometimes he leaves you letters by the old fountain !!!!!! :((((

and taeil’s letters are very friendly but every once in awhile he’ll slip in song lyrics that make your heart flutter!!!! just imagine your favorite love song or folk song written out by taeil to you because he learned it and it made him think of you :(( i’m crying and i know you’re crying

one day you have a picnic!!!!!!!!! and it’s just the two of you and taeil thinks he should be nervous but he genuinely does enjoy your company,,,,, and he kinda sort of slowly starts to think of you less as a muse and more as a friend,,,,,, or even maybe a potential ,,,,,,,,, l o v e r oooohhhhhhhh,,,, omg it’s so cute tho he lays out a blanket in front of the fountain and the two of you eat sandwiches and apple juice and :(( eventually the sun makes you both a lil tired so you fall asleep side by side

and you get kind of flustered when you wake up beside taeil like oh 😳 okay 😳 now 😳

the two of you hang around each other in secret. not because it’s against the law or it would be publicized or anything like that,,,, intima is a very casual island and no one would bother the two of you too much,,,,,,,,, but taeil feels like a little secret you aren’t sure you want to share ,,, also your brothers and sisters would tease you relentlessly for giving your time to someone KNOWN for singing love songs about you

your friendship w taeil feels a bit like a bird feather on a windy day,,,,,,, like one hesitant breath could blow him away,,,,,,,, but taeil is so FUNNY and warm and gentle and COMFORTABLE that you slowly start to feel yourself fall for him.

taeil is a story-telling bard in the way that the songs he sings often tell stories of his life or the life of someone famous, installed in their hearts from the moment they were all in elementary school. like imagine him singing a tale about the greek gods or norse mythology or perhaps he goes and bit more fairytale and songs of thumbalina or sleeping beauty

he’s an amazing storyteller, so much so that when the two of you hang out, he often recites some form of verse to you, especially if it’s a legend you love dearly (SIRENS) ,,,,,, but the one thing that kind of irritates you is that he has yet to sing you one of his legendary songs that are “supposedly” for you

you’re not trying to be prideful, but this is the lovely singer everyone has told you about, and you still haven’t heard any of his original songs. or at least, his original songs dedicated to you. you’re very curious to see what you look like in taeil’s eyes, even though it might make you feel horribly vulnerable.

and taeil is like :) obviously :) i’m not going to sing love songs :) about my crush :) to my crush :)

but it’s whatever.

what i want to talk about is the coronation babey !!!!!!!!!!!

it’s very public,,, in the middle of the courtyard,,, and all the market stalls are up selling their wares to the large crowd!!!!! and kids are playing in the moat !!!!! sort of a summer festival and you’re the main event lol. like some people will gather and watch the coronation and some people will be off dancing on the other side of the courtyard but everyone is celebrating the same thing!!

and this is a high fantasy setting so there aren’t any modern things like microphones or speakers aside from a copper horn or smth ,,, but it’s all very fun and festive!!!!

merchants are selling banners of orange and gold,,, yellow roses and tiger lilies,,,,,,, flower crowns and faux scepters for the little kids!!!!!! and there’s lively music for people to dance and celebrate to,,,,,, and can you guess who is in charge of the music !!!!?! TAEIL

he’s got an entire band leading the courtyard and it’s all traditional songs for the most part of taeil is able to slip in a few love songs now and again. and ofc everyone loves them bc they know taeil and OBV it’s hard to hate taeil

but :( you aren’t really focusing on the music since it’s such a big day for you but if you were you’d know that taeil is singing his original songs :((( all the love songs about you,,,,,,,,,,

and i SWEAR i can imagine taeil singing hozier-esque songs..... omg or like mystery of love ,,,,, imagine him singing mystery of love on one side of the courtyard while you’re getting crowned queen on the other side

that image is something that can be so personal to me ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

:(((( and you’re dressed in a tan and peach maiden dress,,,, cloaked in golden silk with day lilies tucked in your hair,,,,,,,,, omg or BRAIDED into your hair,,,,,, you just look like a sun goddess okay golden by harry styles are the vibes ALRIGHT babes,,,, and there’s a speech to be made and someone made cake for the masses,,, so you get a bit caught up it everything

taeil isn’t really in the crowd for the coronation as i already stated before ,,,,, but he can kind of hear everything that’s happening and it makes him just smile to himself as he messes with his lute :((( omg if you guys haven’t heard you are gold by the national parks THATS the song taeil sings as the celebrations are dying down

and all the street lanterns are lit and people are quieting down and eating or chatting or rounding up their kids for bedtime !! omg little kids racing past and giggling, their flower crowns askew as they shout about becoming a queen one day :( that’s so cute esp to imagine taeil watching them fondling and waving at them as they pass

and there are fireflies all around!!!! lighting the pathway!!! it’s just so cute and soft and lovely think tangled at last i see the light scene OKAY except it’s not on water it’s a festival and it’s beautiful every seems to be glowing in the light

this au is partially inspired by tangled,,, or the kingdom of corona (lol) so

anyways back to you are gold

the chorus is as so: “you are gold / you are all i see / you are aurum scarce and meant for kings / and i will wait if it’s time you need / what i see in you i hope you find in me.”

and can’t you just SEE taeil singing that absentmindedly not really knowing that you’re making your way to him and then he just looks up during the final chords and he just,,,,,,, fumbles the music and his voice cracks a little (but how COULDNT it bc you’re so beautiful and angelic and taeil could easily picture the stars against your skin and in the shade of your eyes)

“h-hi,” he stutters. “you look. nice.” :D

i think taeil is pretty confident with his feelings but i also feel like he can be quite clumsy with them as well. if that makes sense. but on the other hand confessing to the now-queen of your island is a bit much and taeil isn’t really ready to be rejected on a regal level.

“thank you,” you say. AND!!! you can feel your cheeks get hot because taeil is quite handsome and you DEFINITELY heard the last few lyrics of the song and it ignited feelings inside of you that you weren’t sure you’ve felt much of before.

you kind of just want to take his hand and go spend some ~ alone time ~ with him ^_^

“you know,” you sit down beside him and wrap your cloak around yourself. “everyone has been telling me that you’re quite famous for dedicating your love songs to me. how come i haven’t heard such declarations?”

taeil’s ears turn red and he smiles down at the lute in his lap. “isn’t it a bit disrespectful to make you listen to all the songs i write for you?”

“i want to hear them!! genuinely!!”

can you just IMAGINE taeil holding eye contact and singing sunshine by hozier >:( or like ANY song by ray montangue for today we’re pretending taeil wrote all of these

hold you in my arms by ray montangue YOO :((

just taeil strumming and singing sort of under his breath because he doesn’t really want anyone else to share this lil moment with you. and he’s so sweet like i imagine after he sings he doesn’t expect any praise and he certainly doesn’t expect you to confess your love or anything like that

bc taeil is a respectful future king

LIKE JUST IMAGINE kind of grabbing his face and just giving him a lil kiss,,,,, a lil smooch,,,,, if you will

taeil is probably rlly pretty just after being kissed like his eyelashes would flutter so prettily and it would be so soft like he’d just press his forehead against yours and then omg a FOREHEAD KISS like a really gentle one

you would be so important to taeil like i think he would just be so gentle with you in every way

the relationship is a slower one,,,,,, you have queenly duties and he’s still working as a busker,,,,, getting ready to help the merchants in the winter,,,,,,,

but the two of you make time. it’s similar to before, you just set up picnics, or sometimes you watch him sing, and he’ll write you love songs and send them to you through a letter,, stamping with purple wax,,,

and taeil is always so sweet :( i think he’s more of a casual lover in the sense that he doesn’t need pda or loud declarations in order to make you feel loved flashback to him dedicating every love song to you in the middle of the square but he’d be the type to just hold your hand around the courtyard,, or he’d just send you soft smiles from the other side of the marketplace

he’s the time to buy you a basket of your favorite fruits and deliver them personally to your door

everyone in the castle just lets taeil into the chambers section at this point

the two of you will swim in the moat and play hopscotch with the village children or go shopping together or take naps beneath the afternoon sun and with taeil by your side it’s all so fond and precious and some times you’ll go days or weeks without seeing him just because of schedules but it’s never awkward when the two of you get back together

and it’s actually not until some of your very own villagers are coming up to you like hey,,,,, why haven’t you made taeil your partner yet?? he’s so precious and sweet and he would look lovely in a crown 👀👀

and uhhh who are you to argue with that lmao

so you buy taeil a ring

a pearl !!!! encased in silver <3333 i like to think that the tales he sang to you about sirens often slides to a pearl of some sorts,, so you make sure it’s the rock you place on the ring

and you take him back to that rusty old creaky old ugly old fountain :)

and you just,,,,,, ask him to marry you ,,,,,,,,,,

ofc taeil says yes, a bit frozen because the two of you have talked about marriage but only briefly,,, and he wasn’t sure you’d ever take that step so he didn’t want to pressure you

taeil ofc has always been ready,,, his soul is more open than yours if that makes sense !!! which isn’t a bad thing but he has definitely been ready for a lifetime with you for a long time now

and it’s a long-ish engagement i feel like

not that it really matters but it’s more of a betrothement !!!! so the two of you are technically already married even before the ceremony if that makes sense??? like everyone alludes to taeil as the consort and the two of you live together and receive gifts of betrothement and !!! it’s quite sweet and it’s the way they do things in intima

also you guys aren’t in a big hurry for another ceremony esp bc yuta’s coronation is coming up and you don’t want to take any of his spotlight

king!yuta hold up

but yeah taeil is a wonderful consort !! doesn’t do much yet politically bc he isn’t especially versed in politics but he’s learning!!! he’s really good at keeping a good energy in the room even if two ambassadors are fighting taeil will just be vibing like :-D and it often calms tensions

he’s just a GREAT person and a helpful ruler even tho he really doesn’t even have to be,,,, he’s just a consort,,,, but he still takes the effort to learn genuine laws and help guide the people

the people are obviously obsessed with him,,, they wouldn’t ask for another consort because he’s so kind with all of them

still sings in the courtyard as his job ,,, and the people love it just as much ^_^ esp because now all the songs are openly for you and about you and it makes people more fond of you as well

taeil creates y/n propaganda pass it on

but he works in the castle too,, and he’s a fast learner especially when it comes to settling arguements within the village or even within the court,,,, he also sets up festivals !! he’s wonderful at it !! genuinely !! taeil as an interior designer i can just see it man him designing flower arrangements and the setlist and just !! being a wonderful host

and tbh you’re very thankful because it’s nice to rule with siblings but it’s even nicer to rule with a soulmate

and taeil feels just like that — a soulmate, a missing piece of the puzzle,,,,,

and if intima is the sun , if you who rules it is the sun, then taeil is the moon,, and it’s quite obvious that the two of you were made for each other

perhaps in the future the two of you will have kids or adopt

or you guys get a puppy!!! i can see you w a puppy and taeil with a kitten and the two lil pets just follow you guys around omg

the two of you fix up the old fountain so it isn’t rusty or squeaky anymore

you guys find rocks out on the shore and create a new bed at the bottom of the fountain

and guess what!!!! you guys write little wishes on the rocks and invite everyone else to do the same with the idea that once the fountain is filled with wishes, you’ll hold a festival where you put the wishes back into the sea to be completed

omg how cute would that be like a yearly thing where the fountain would be filled with rocks and everyone gets a handful to take down to the beach and throw into the sea

it’s where lovers write their names and people confess to their crushes and anniversaries and birthdays are celebrated and it’s where artists write pictures and poets write verses and people write prayers to the sun

and it’s where you and taeil announce your first pregnancy >.<

and it’s really soft

the place between the sea and the sun is where your love lies

where your family lives

omg taeil singing lullabies to his baby :( HES be such a sweet dad

i feel like taeil already has a family just by his vibes yknow

but say it’s a daughter he’d teach her how to play the lute and he’d buy her her own

he’d let her express herself in any way and identify however she’d want and love whoever she wanted

he’d be an AMAZING father and husband and king

ANYWAYS to conclude

this was fun to write and i hope it made sense i know it’s all over the place but in conclusion taeil is sexy and deserves to be loved

#taeil au #nct au #taeil fluff #nct fluff #commissioned #destwrites

[dapper-ships-herself]

Dapper!!! :0c Tell me about your Fairy Tail s/i?

So! I technically have two for Fairy Tail, except unlike my BSD s/is where they’re each very different, the main difference here is simply the backstories, present day during the story the personality and most of my relationships are the same.

For personality in general, kind and soft spoken, with a subtle mischievous nature too, snark with a sweet smile you could say, but her teasing is never mean. Like so many members of the guild, she is fiercely protective of their family. The only way to actually make her mad is by threatening an innocent person. Her hobbies include reading, art, and staring at Erza. The exact nature and start of that friendship changes a little depending on the backstory, but basically they have been best friends since childhood, with my s/i harboring a secret crush all that time. I went into more detail on her relationships here.    

First backstory is the Dreyar backstory. In this she is Laxus’s little sister. She and her brother are close, he’s super protective, and my s/i looks up to him, in fact due to an incident when they were both children (which I want to write about) she vows that one day she will “grow strong enough to protect even you.” Though after their father was banished from the guild and Laxus changed, there was a rift between them, but she still knows her kind brother is buried in there. She also greatly respects her grandfather, not growing to harbor that same resentment as Laxus did. As for their father, I haven’t actually gotten to where he’s properly introduced in, I believe, the grand magic games arc, but I know that backstory and stuff, so I think she has mixed feelings about him, her being so young when he was banished that she really hardy remembers him and only really knows he did something bad to be kicked out. This is also the default backstory that I use most often.

The other backstory is the library backstory, and this one is a lot more me making shit up. In this, she was actually born far back in the past, in to a village that still feared most magics except for a few types of holder magic. My s/i was born as the grand daughter of the village leader, and she was also born able to use magic. She couldn’t do anything impressive as it was mostly only like magical potential, but still her grandfather wanted to banish her for it, but her parents managed to convince him that she was safe so long as they made sure she never used it. Still, rumors spread about her being “strange” and she was a black sheep of the village. She only had one friend, a girl a little bit older than her named Rimis, or Ri for short. Her childhood wasn’t great, but her parent’s cared for her and she had Ri, so it was fine. One day though, a magical monster attacked their village. In the chaos, she and Ri found themselves confronted by the beast and Ri was killed by it protecting her. In her sorrow, she blindly unleashed a wave of her magic, reaper magic. This took care of the monster, but all her village saw when the dust cleared was one little girl on the ground and the black sheep angrily crackling with dark magical energy. They were convinced that she used her power to bring that creature to their village in the first place, and no amount of protest and pleading would convince them otherwise. Her grandfather, in front of the angry mob her village had turned into, announced that she was a demon and needed to be sealed away, and he presented one of the few magical items the village held, a key to open the library of Nairat, said to be a vast library assembled by a demon that contains book from the past, present, and future, and exists technically as a pocket dimension outside of time. It sounds pretty great until you get to the part where it can only be opened to allow inside on person at a time, and that once someone goes in they can only get back out by reading every single book held inside, and if they give up then they are turned to stone. She pleaded that she had no part in the monster attacking, but no one listened, and even her parents only cried as they silently watched her get thrown inside. She spent the next 936 years trapped in there, not ageing physically or mentally, until she finally read the last book in Nairat’s collection and the door reopened. She found herself in a strange land, and stranger still the people here actually seemed to celebrate magic. She wandered from city to city until eventually she made it to Magnolia, where master Makarov found her alone in the streets and invited her back to the guild. After being alone for nearly a thousand years, she had kind of forgotten how to talk to people, and so was effectively mute for months. It took her a while to feel comfortable in the guild and to trust that they wouldn’t banish her, and for her to feel safe training her own magic.

After her backstory is revealed to the other characters, I imagine a sort of running joke is that they always expect her to have like some wise knowledge about a situation like she’s a scholar or something but she’s usually like “I wasn’t actually studying any of those books, I read them as fast as possible so I could get the heck out of that place, also I was like eight so   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ and she mostly only remembers vague knowledge and random useless trivia she loves to share.  

Fun fact, in this backstory, the cloak she wears was sewn as a gift from her parents.

As for what magic she uses, I used to switch it based on my mood between three different types, except now I think I want her to be able to use all three normally. Sounds op but I think I balance it alright and justify the why well enough also everyone in this show is op. Anyway, the magic types are the already mentioned reaper magic (basically controlling and shaping a dark energy, able to stabilize people in a critical state but not actually able to heal, with moves such as reaper’s scythe, reaper’s hand, reaper’s mercy, and reaper’s minions), sweets magic (a much lighter form of magic, takes the shape of pieces of candy, one capability is she can summon a giant lollipop that can hover off the ground but not actually fly, and like licorice whips, a tidal wave of sugar, etc), and crystal magic (able to grow crystals up from surfaces that jut up like jagged spikes or rise up like a shield). So each magic has different benefits and uses depending on what kind of fight she’s. I could probably explain them a bit better but I am a bit tired rn.  

Dreyar! Gillian can use these three because she was implemented with lacrima like Laxus by their father, except she’s not a dragon slayer and got two smaller lacrima that allowed her to branch her magic like that. She was born with the sweets magic. Some people have called her a protege because of this and she becomes embarrassed and a little ashamed, knowing that that strength is from the lacrimas. 

Library! Gillian learned crystal magic from a book in the library to then draw out most of her reaper magic and seal it within a crystal she created out of fear and shame, leaving only a formless magical potential inside herself, and then when she started learning magic at the guild properly, she used some techniques she remembered from some books to reshape the magical potential she had to present itself as something far less threatening, the sweets magic. During her personal arc early on in the story (I picture it being the arc before the Tower of Heaven arc), when her backstory is revealed (and I kind of want to type out what I picture for this arc because I got like a whole thing), that’s when she breaks the crystal sealing away her reaper magic and begins to realize that it’s okay to start accepting this part of her she’s been so afraid of even still. 

Maybe some of this actually wouldn’t fully work within the story, but like I said I haven’t actually seen the whole show/manga and while I do know at least generally what happens my knowledge isn’t perfect especially about lore things although I did try and do research. 

I tried to keep it a pretty basic overview but it still got long! Anyway, I love my FT s/i so I’m always happy to answer questions and stuff~

(Forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes please, it’s late rn and spell checking is for whimps (translation: I’m totally gonna reread this ramble tomorrow and kick myself for mistakes)) 

#I am incapable of answering anything simply #dapper inserts: fairy #dapper inserts #dapper answers

[umbralich]

Get to know me

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better.

1. Dogs or Cats?

I like both, I’ve had both and I’m perhaps a bit more cat person nowadays. Still dogs will always have a special place in my heart. Especially German shepherd dogs. They’re actual people in dog form, I swear.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

I’m not into either. Though if I had to pick one, then maybe normal. I may be old-fashioned, but I find it quite odd one can become famous by just filming their everyday life instead of being an actor in a movie, writing a book or composing an album.

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

Japan. Sure, every country has their own problems, but in Japan I like how they generally seem to appreciate nature, their community, healthy food and work still has value. Their street fashion also seems to be so multicolored I’d fit in pretty well, unlike in my current country.

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

I’m not a fan of either, but if I had to choose, definitely DreamWorks. One: they make better movies and more original ones, and two: I’ve never understood the Disney hype anyway.

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

Power Rangers. Though watched later also the original, Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger, and it was a lot better than the US version. Recommending warmly!

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

Usually the more some franchise has sequels the more skeptical I’m becoming of their quality. However, I’m a fan of the first three Saw movies and Valak is definitely squad goals, so I was thinking of going and watching The Organ Donor and Conjuring 3.

7. Favourite book you read in 2019?

I still haven’t finished it thanks to a certain MMO, but I have The complete fiction of H.P. Lovecraft on the go.

8. Marvel or DC?

I don’t like either, I’m not into superheroes. I also have the same problem with Marvel as I have with Disney: the hype. It’s so unfathomable it has distanced me. Though DC has Watchmen and Rorschach was amazing in the movie, so I guess DC?

9. If you choose Marvel favourite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

Uh... the what? *googles Justice League* ..... I have no clue who these characters are, haha. They’re all so muscular... and pretty... and hero-looking... urgh. I think I’m feeling a bit sick. Where’s the villain I can be salty about when they die? And why isn’t Rorschach on the list? He’s the hero I deserve!

10. Night or Day?

Definitely night. Feeling like a corpse during days, and once it becomes dark it’s like “LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE.”

11. Favourite Pokemon?

I have to choose just one? Mismagius, Haunter, Kadabra, Mewtwo, Espeon, Umbreon, Houndoom, Suicune, Mightyena, Absol, Darkrai, Cofagrigus, Zoroark, Chandelure, Hydreigon, Reshiram, Mimikyu, Corviknight, Zacian

12. Top 5 bands:

Beast in Black, Kamijo, Heilung, Nox Arcana, Nightwish.

13. Top 10 books.

The Witcher series, Assassin’s apprentice + sequels, all Dragonlance books with Raistlin and Dhamon saga (except the 4th one; it sucked so bad I’m pretending I didn’t see anything and it doesn’t exist), The Shining, Pet Sematary, The complete fiction of H.P. Lovecraft. I’m quite picky with my books, but I guess that still makes even more than 10 books.

14. Top 4 movies

Pet Sematary (1989), Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Scary Movie 3. No matter how many times I watch these they just keep getting better.

15. America or Europe?

I’m evenhandedly disliking both for having an uncontrollable infestation of nazis, flat earthers, climate change skeptics, LGBT-phobes and religious fanatics either killing people or slowing down or banning basically anything that would be an improvement to someone else’s life except themselves. If we had inhabited other planets I would’ve been out of this disgrace of the universe eons ago. (:

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

Both are good, though personally I like tumblr more, since you can fit more stuff in posts. Though the new censorship and porn bot problem are beyond ridiculous.

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Pro-choice. Duh.

18. Favourite YouTuber?

Cryo Chamber, Rapid Liquid and Li Ziqi. Especially Rapid Liquid’s quality content sums up perfectly what’s going on inside of my head when it’s not full of night terror creatures.

19. Favourite author ?

Either Andrzej Sapkowski (the Witcher), Robin Hobb (Assassin’s apprentice) or Stephen King. Can’t decide.

20. Tea or Coffee?

This... must be the most difficult question I’ve ever heard. What a horrendous sacrilege to even ask such. I couldn’t live without either.

21. OTP ?

I’ve never understood and most probably never will understand the fascination of pairings. Seems to me like everyone else are hyper excited of watching the grass grow and I’m just like ?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ??? ?

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

I used to play piano when I was a kid, but then I got Playstation and I quit. Nowadays I have an ocarina, and can play A Place to Call Home and Black Mage Village from FFIX and Lilium from Elfen Lied. Would love to learn to play cello once I find some energy, time and money to get started.

---

Tagged by @sakuyamori and @lareine-kira

Tagging: @hangedemperor , @kyrie-silverwings , @paleshadeofrose , @roxinova​ , @haila-wetyios​ , @a-sharlayan-abroad​ , @trahja-tia​ , @muted-howl​ , @eorzeasfrozenknight​ , @under-the-blood-moonlight​ & @kiara-nocturne​

#not ffxiv related #ooc

[silenthillmutual]

Hey! For the ask meme, 5, 9, 12, 16, 21 :) Is that too many???? I think that's too many but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(actually i dont think its too many but ily you anyway!!)

5. what makes you feel validated?all my family members (except my mom) not even asking when i change names, just saying “hi [insert new name]!” like i do wish they cared a lil bit more than they do about what’s going on in my life but that part at least!! feels good

9. what does your name mean?tbh, weeb ass got it from noriaki kakyoin initially just as like, an rp nickname? bc i used to rp kakyoin a lot. but i dont want to go by noriaki since i’m white and i know ‘nori’ by itself pops up as a name or nickname in other cultures, although outside of japanese & arabic i can’t find it right now.

tbh i really like that it just sounds like ppl are calling me seaweed, although i’ve also seen that depending on the kanji used it could also mean doctrine/belief. i wish i could find the use of it in other cultures but scrolling through baby name websites is both nauseating and unhelpful, although one person said that in lithuanian it means “wants”

i was going to go by kieran as a middle name until my mom ruined that (like she did with luke) but atm i’d rather accept link - like from legend of zelda, since link was designed to be androgynous and a lot of trans ppl relate to him (although ppl trying to find a deeper meaning to the name on baby name sites is hilarious - ‘lincoln’, really? just admit u like video games) - or cas. cas is apparently dutch for “imperial” but i just took it from the character castiel on supernatural, and his name is probably derived from the archangel cassiel. ‘cassiel’ has a ton of different spellings depending on which religion’s texts you’re reading and which translation, but that name means “speed of god” or “god is my anger”, according to wikipedia. he’s sometimes depicted as the angel over saturn, or the angel of saturdays. he’s not depicted in the bible, but shows up in jewish/islamic/christian mystical and occult texts.

(i think its also worth noting i had a hard time finding these names on baby name sites and like, i do live to be difficult!)

12. favorite trans headcanon?

there are just so many good ones!!! danny fenton & timmy turner (made esp great by the fact that butch hartman just fucking hates it) being trans, that cow from the barnyard show on nickelodeon, reigen arataka, mob (as either trans masc or trans fem), link - and for that matter, any character when you see them shirtless and they don’t have nipples? they had top surgery and elected not to have the nipples put back on. 

i think sam porter bridges from death stranding could easily be read as a trans man or trans woman, and i like both. on the one hand, he needs an stand-to-pee device (literally, that is a part of your equipment); on the other, the game has heavy themes of motherhood and he is able to use technology to be connected through what i can only describe as an umbilical cord to the bridges baby. and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the gender commentary was entirely intentional on kojima’s part. for that matter, i also love trans solid snake and trans hal emmerich in metal gear solid. 

i also think danganronpa deserves a special shoutout, not just because you can pry canon trans girl chihiro fujisaki from my cold, dead hands and i’m sick of seeing cis bootlickers harassing ppl online over that transphobic as fuck storyline, but for real? nobody’s birth name actually spells out “diamond” with their sibling so mondo and daiya oowada are both trans (it’s also one of the only ways to make any part of case 2 make any goddamn sense), yasuhiro hagakure and celestia ludenberg having plotlines where where they have to reveal those aren’t their birth names? congrats they’re both trans now. 

i wish there were more headcanons about characters being trans women that didn’t rely on stereotyping. i know thats a big problem wrt seeing muscular or tall women and ppl focusing their trans headcanons on them, so i actually kinda head canon aoi asahina as trans and wanna eventually write that for fic w sakura ogami being cis bc people tend to look at sakura and go “well obviously shes trans bc shes muscular” (and then they do the opposite when it comes to trans men, but i’ve seen a lot of trans masc hcs). i also don’t see a lot of nonbinary hcs being given to amab people…. we need to fix that!! but alas i have already rambled a lot so thats a post for another day.

16. song that gives you Big Trans Feels?

if we’re not including music that is literally about being trans (like “transgender dysphoria blues” by against me!) then, “twin size mattress” by the front bottoms! the lines “it’s no big surprise you turned out this way / when they closed their eyes and prayed you would change / and they cut your hair and sent you away / you stopped by my house the night you escaped / with tears in my eyes, i begged you to stay / you said, ‘hey man, i love you, / but no fucking way’“ always sounded like he was talking about a trans girl friend of his, but i dont know enough about the band to say for certain what that song is about. it probably helps that i felt that song extra hard when i was first coming out and w how my relationship w my mom was like.

21. what makes you feel euphoric?

back when i first started going by luke (and then later by nori), my dog bingley would just blink at you and not react if you told him to go get [deadname]. he only would come find me if you told him to go get luke / nori.

he’s such a good boy. i hope somebody steals him from my mom.

thank u for asking!!!!

trans asks

#about the blogger #lawliyeeeet #answers.txt #THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ''I KNOW THIS AND I LOVE YOU'' IMAGE

[howdoyousayghibli]

Whisper of the Heart of the Valley of the Wind on a Cliff by the Sea in the Sky with Diamonds

I have to come clean with you, dear readers. I’m pretty unfairly biased towards this film, because this is how I experienced the opening scene:

It’s honestly hard for me to believe that this movie, made in 1995 and released in North America in 2006, just happens to feature “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” by John Denver, and that I just happened to watch it in 2018, when Country Road fever is at an all-time high after high-profile uses of the song in media such as Kingsman 2, Logan Lucky, and the Fallout 76 trailer.

Anyway, fantastic songs aside, this really is a great movie, and one that surprised me. It’s the first Studio Ghibli movie not to be directed by Hayao Miyazaki or Isao Takahata, with Yoshifumi Kondō at the helm instead and Miyazaki retaining screenwriter credit. Kondō, who was a first-time director but who had played a significant role in Kiki’s Delivery Service and Only Yesterday, really knocked it out of the park here.

In addition to having a new director, it also departs from the Ghibli norm by eschewing fantasy elements, which I did not know going in. This didn’t go over so well with me in Only Yesterday, but Whisper of the Heart tells a much more cohesive story than that movie — or than most Ghibli movies, for that matter.

Whisper of the Heart tells the story of a young girl, Shizuku, as she learns to embrace her natural talent for writing. It feels less like a short story compilation than some of the other movies I’ve reviewed, but it’s not necessarily because it doesn’t take any diversions. There’s an excellent subplot involving middle-school romances, and a lengthy (and deeply relatable) scene of Shizuku chasing a cat across town. Instead, what helps the film feel more cohesive is that each narrative thread is given a satisfying resolution.

I’m not sure yet if it’s a bug or a feature of Studio Ghibli, but many of their films don’t bother with what your average Hollywood movie would consider a denouement. It was jarring, to me, at first, to go without. The more I watch, the more I appreciate the way they stand apart from so many other movies I see, but I also can’t help it if the sense of resolution in Whisper of the Heart makes it one of my favorite movies from the studio so far.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that this movie does continues the trend of Ghibli movies being willing to tackle concepts that are more complex than those found in your standard kid’s fare. Like Kiki, Shizuku isn’t trying to save the world: she’s just trying to figure out her place in it.

What I said about being unfairly biased towards this film goes beyond Country Roads — it would’ve been pretty hard for me to dislike a film about a kid who:

loves to read

procrastinates studying

has parents who aren’t on them as much as they should be

is insecure about their talents

doesn’t know what to do with their life

tries to make friends with stray cats

definitely has undiagnosed adhd

what is sleep??

At the start of Whisper of the Heart, Shizuku is content to enjoy her summer chasing her book-reading goal, but things change when she befriends Seiji. Seiji wants to be a violin maker and has already put in a lot of work towards achieving this goal; next to him, Shizuku feels unambitious and talentless. Still in middle school, he knows exactly what he wants to do with his life, and Shizuku has no idea.

Besides being relatable to a 26-year-old who still isn’t sure what to do with his life, it’s captivating to watch the carefree, insouciant Shizuku get fired up with the desire to prove herself. She decides to take inspiration from Seiji’s drive and write a story before he returns from his apprenticeship. Though she sacrifices time, sleep, and her grades, the movie doesn’t grant her a perfect victory. Again, like in Kiki’s Delivery Service, Whisper of the Heart doesn’t try to sell kids on a world where hard work pays off instantly, or where following your dreams is as simple as one moment of epiphany.

Besides an engaging story and great soundtrack, Whisper of the Heart also features some of the most true-to-life family dynamics I’ve ever seen on screen. At first, Shizuku’s family almost comes off as rude, but then you realize that it’s because they aren’t acting like they know they’re on camera. There’s a tendency in movies and television for family members to fit into one of two categories: caring and thoughtful, or angry and troubled. Shizuku’s family just feels … real.

In our day-to-day lives, we don’t carefully consider each word that comes out of our mouths. Yoshifumi Kondō understood that a complaint here or a nag there doesn’t always signal some unresolved family drama; it’s just how people talk when they aren’t paying attention. Shizuku’s parents are supportive without coming off as overly sweet, and anyone with siblings will see some part of themselves in her relationship with her older sister. Each family member feels fully realized, and they make a fantastic backdrop for Shizuku’s journey.

I may not have known what I’d think of Whisper of the Heart going in, but I do now: it’s one of my favorite Ghibli movies so far. I think it’s tied with Porco Rosso for Best Dialogue, it’s the clear winner for Best Family, and it’s message is right up there with Kiki’s Delivery Service. It ends on a slightly odd note, but otherwise there’s not a thing I would change. 

I guess you could say it’s … almost heaven.

Next up is Princess Mononoke, which I am definitely not smart enough to review. Good luck, me!

Check below the Alternate Review Titles and Stray Notes for the brand new, fresh-out-the-oven Spoiler Zone!

Alternate Review Title(s):

West Virginia of the Heart

Stray Notes: 

see, I can love a Ghibli movie with no fantasy elements

the theatrical poster for this movie is very misleading

“why not try dating him? If you don’t like him, you can stop!” solid advice

adhd vibes from mom and shizuku

THE FLUTE MAN

the whole jam session scene is. GOOD.

when Shizuku can’t turn off her lamp without actually sitting up in bed is the most relatable thing in any movie ever

sugimura and yoko making up and being chill is also great

all the kids’ voice acting is good, so is all the background chatter

“you got a visitor. It’s a guuUuuy!” and the class just ERUPTS, A+++

this movie is so middle school, in such a good, beautiful way

of COURSE she didn’t notice you, you idiot, she was READING

“I’ll wait until you’re done” WHAT A GUY

it’s a little corny, but you’re a violin maker, not a writer” HAH sick burn kiddo

Spoiler Zone

I especially loved how Shizuku’s dad handles her declaration of a secret project. He acknowledges that perfect grades aren’t the only path to success, but essentially tells Shizuku that if you follow your own path, it’s all on you if you screw up. It would’ve been just too sweet and out-of-character if he had simply smiled and told Shizuku to follow her heart; his paired support and warning feel more true to life.

To me, the ending was a bit weird and came totally out of left field. A lot of this movie feels very middle-school, but in a great way that makes you smile; the ending feels middle-school in a way that makes you cringe and want to forget it happened. It’s a shame the movie has to end on such an odd note; I even watched it in Japanese with subtitles on, to see if it was a translation issue. It’s not. A couple other parts of the movie are a little clearer with subtitles (for instance, it makes much more sense to have Shizuku be translating Country Roads into Japanese than just re-writing it in English), but the ending is basically the same. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#ghibli #studio ghibli #whisper of the heart #film #film review

[mauvecardigans]

what do you mean about performing?

Oh dear

First, I have to apologize. I always think I’m being very eloquent about my feelings when I’m making tumblr posts, but when I look at them the next day (because I frankly can’t remember if I actually posted that or just thought about it very hard), I read them and think, “…what?”

Second, I have to apologize again, this time to the dash at large. I’m doing this on mobile, so I can’t hide whatever embarrassing monstrosity this answer will be under a read more. (If it’s under a cut, then posting this from the browser rather than the app worked.)

Third, something I won’t apologize for. This is stupid long, but it’s about time I tried to quantify what I mean by acting feels and performing feels. I don’t know that I’ll succeed, but why on earth should that stop me?

Formalities done, let’s get into this.

Hoo boy.

TL;DR ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have a lot of feelings about performing. I was in chorus in elementary school, I was in choir and honors choir in middle school, I went to Blue Lake (a fine arts summer camp in Michigan) for choir in sixth grade, and I was in choir and a community chorus in high school and college. In elementary school I also played violin for two years (and cello for literally two weeks). My musical skills are okay, but nothing to write home about.

I was in a short theater class in elementary school. This wasn’t really a heavy duty class. It was more about learning to be aware of moving your body and use performing space. Just a very short introduction to being on stage. Then, in middle school, which had zero theater classes or extracurriculars, my choir teacher tried to put on a musical. I auditioned, you know, like a fool and was in the chorus. The main cast turned out to be flakes and two weeks in it was cancelled. I was not happy aaaaand the choir teacher knew it OOPS I mean, I wasn’t an asshole about it, but I absolutely did keep bugging her to try another show lmao No dice.

In eighth grade, she recommended I check out the high school’s spring musical – the choir teacher there had asked her and the teacher from the other feeder school if they had anybody because they needed to fill out the chorus. After a false start, I was in. The less said about that, the better, but the end result was I definitely liked being onstage.

That summer I went to Blue Lake for theater and learned more about performing and scripts and staging and movement and blah blah blah. I don’t know how much more skill I actually left camp with, but I definitely left with more knowledge, including the knowledge that I loved it.

In high school, I went out for every play and musical I could. Was I successful? Mostly no. But I still did it every semester anyway. I got into the musicals as a chorus member because I could sing, and I had a couple (very) small roles in a couple straight plays.

In college I took a couple theater classes in freshman year and occasionally went out for shows, but by then I had kind of accepted my lack of talent. Better late than never.

So that’s where I’m coming from. That’s the foundation.

I like being on stage. I like watching a show come together, from the acting to the sets to the costumes to the lighting to the props to the crew. It’s like watching Tetris pieces fall from the sky all at once and you can’t see how they fit together, but by the time they’ve landed, they have come together into one solid shape. But the shape looks different to everyone depending on when you noticed it. You see how the individual pieces fit together if you watched them fall because you’re in the show, you helped find them and pull them together. You see the shape as a whole if you’ve only ever seen it as one shape, but if you tilt your head you can pick out a piece or two because you’re an observer, an audience member who only sees the final result of what the people and pieces came together to make.

That metaphor got away from me a bit

I guess it’s fun to make something that is drawn out yet fleeting, tangible but temporary.

I also just really like theatres. They’re all the same – stage, seats, catwalks, lights, curtains – but each theatre is unique. Even with nothing going on, just standing on a stage is some magical shit.

“Brie, please, stop laying foundation and just get to the point. Please. This is long enough.”

You’re right.

Usually I whine about acting feels on here. Acting feels this and clawing at face that. But really it’s the performance. It’s dropping your walls and being larger than life. It’s throwing emotion after emotion at an audience who’s there specifically to catch them. It’s being someone you’re not, or sometimes someone you are. It’s catharsis. Whether it’s singing or acting or playing an instrument, it’s being loud and seen and heard.

And sometimes it’s just the freedom to be goofy or annoying or too loud or angry or upset without worrying about how the people who catch you doing it will judge you, because in those moments you’re not you.

And even with all these words, I don’t feel like I’ve really answered the question. I haven’t really captured the feeling. Maybe there just aren’t words. I don’t know.

I guess it feels like home, but even that… I really don’t know.

So there’s an answer. Don’t know if it’s the answer, but it certainly is an answer.

#well the read more works in browser lmao #so that's something. #lordamercy #long post is long #replies #anonymous

[lakecountylibrary]

What degree does someone have to have in order to be called a librarian if they don't have the job title librarian? What is a typical day like for library employees of any position?

Good questions! Grab a snack, this got a little long.

What degree do you need to be calleda librarian:

Here at LCPL we require everyone withthe librarian job title to have their MLS (Master of LibraryScience). However, that’s not true of all libraries. Some librariesmay only require an MLS for the higher positions, like directors or admin, so someone with a bachelor’s could certainly be called alibrarian in some cases.

We also have Assistant Librarians.Assistant Librarians may not have an MLS. They might be working towardit, or not, but a bachelor’s degree is sufficient for this position.

We do require Assistant Librarians (andmany other positions) to be working toward their librarycertification, but that’s a state requirement - it may vary state tostate. (Here in Indiana, qualifying for your certification requiresearning a certain number of Library Education Units, which you getby going to classes, watching webinars, or attending training relatedto your job. The number of units you need depends on your position,but the state provides a LOT of opportunities to earn them and it’sgenerally pretty easy to end up with way more than you need.)

TL;DR: it depends on the library! But honestly, to most people, if you work in a library you’re a librarian ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What is a typical day like forlibrary employees in different positions:

I asked the whole Tumblr team to tossin their two cents since we’ve got people from lots of differentpositions contributing to this blog. Not everyone has gotten back to me yet since we’re all working different schedules, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging. If I hear back from more people, I’ll add on to this post.

As you might expect, librarystaff like words so it got a little long. We’ll add a Read More to save your dash. Here’s what we’ve got:

Chris (Librarian, Branch Head):My#1 tip - learn how to plunge an overflowing toilet without gettingyour shoes wet.

My actual advice -

A typical day is dealing with whateverthe library users throw at you. So, there’s a lot of variety and youhave to like working with people of all types.

Sarah (Programming & CollectionPerformance Librarian):Hmm…be prepared to take whatever isthrown at you on a daily basis. Whether that’s:

 a patron who has nevertouched a computer before being told that they must apply for a jobonline (and they need a library card, e-mail address, resume, and alot of hands-on help for every step) 

a patron with a referencequestion about how to burn up human bodies (no joke, thank goodness Iremembered this patron had a class on criminal forensics but didn’tknow how to phrase a question)

a teen program that you put yourheart and soul into where no one showed up (or the reverse, a teenprogram you put your heart and soul into - and far more people thanyou were able to handle showed up). 

Patience is key.

You’re also often the first place aperson who has just gotten a diagnosis from a doctor, and needsresources on how to manage it, goes. Empathy and understanding isalso key, and a willingness to go the extra mile so that yourpatrons know that they’re getting the most up-to-date and verifiedinformation.

Your library is a place where peoplecan also find connection - young parents looking for support andunderstanding from other parents at storytime, that lonely teen atyour program finally finding another teen with the same enthusiasmfor manga, members of a book club who have kept attending for years -and not just for the books.

You’ve got to plan long-range and beable to handle spur-of-the-moment situations. You will deal withpeople who are the kindest souls and the most reverent readers ofbooks, and the person driving a new Mercedes-Benz who pitches aliteral tantrum over a ten-cent fine. You’ll evaluate databases,choose new materials for the library, plan programs, and connect withcommunity members who can introduce the rest of the community to newideas, music, art, discussion, etc.

You’ll help people find thecorrect legal documents, students find the resources they need,introduce local businesspersons to databases that can revolutionizetheir business plan. You’ll need to adapt to new forms of technology- because your patrons will have questions about it. You’ll also needto be able to smile and give a tactful response when you get thatfamiliar question, “Hasn’t the internet replaced libraries?”

Beth (Librarian, Branch Head):

The library works as a team–allpeople/positions are important. I started as a clerk with my MLS(librarian positions were few due to the recession and hiringfreezes) and I value that experience every day. To the patrons whovisit the library–everyone is a librarian. I think this helps keepany “egos” in check–they value the clerks, tech,paraprofessionals, pages and professionals the same.

As a Librarian/Branch Head, duties runthe gamut. Some days I work the desk with a clerk checking in/outmaterials, pulling items, answering calls, helping at the copymachine. Some days I’m in full program/event mode–planning programsthat people will enjoy and learn from. There are reports to be runand to write. Maintaining the collection is a regular task.

Of course, as a librarian, it is vitalto be there to get people the assistance they need and providevaluable and reliable resources. Some days I get yelled at. Yourealize the differences and similarities in humanity. Some days Ihave to plunge the toilet and wear protective shoe booties.

The only things I “read” onwork time are work-related (and our social media feed). Being amanager requires times where you have to have tough conversations.The times when you get a honest thank you or a great big smile from akid/patron–those make up for the grind of other tasks.

In my opinion, working in a publiclibrary is awesome. BUT–you must want to work with the public or youwill be helping no one. It can be as frustrating as rewarding somedays. There are some weird stories and some inspiring ones as well. Iwouldn’t trade in this experience for anything!

Robin (Technology MarketingSpecialist and friendly neighborhood Tumblr editor, not a librarian): 

Confession:I’m not a “real” librarian at all. My master’s degree is in businessadministration and marketing, but I somehow convinced a library tohire me.

As a “Technology MarketingSpecialist” (basically, I’m the social media manager) most of mycontact with our patrons is through a computer screen - like whatwe’re doing right now! I spend most of my time creating posts for ourvarious social accounts, answering questions that come in throughthose accounts, making sure everyone is playing nice online, andgenerally making sure people know we exist.

I’m in the nifty position of getting towork with every single department in our library, because everysingle aspect of what we do needs promotion! There are a lot ofcommittees and I sit in on a lot of meetings because, well, marketingneeds to know what’s happening. There’s a ton of opportunity forcreativity and outside-the-box thinking, too, which I couldn’t livewithout.

My undergraduate degree was in creativeand professional writing, and I never thought I’d have a job whereI’d have to learn some graphic design, or video editing, or coding(oh yeah, I manage the website, too) but here I am - if you work in alibrary in any position you’ll learn a ridiculous amount of newthings without even trying.

Thanks for reading this far - that’s it for now. We hope it helped and feel free to ask us anything else!

#anon #lcpl reply #library life #how to librarian #tumblarians #public libraries #library certification #MLS #library jobs #long post

[louislouisrap]

in which bakugo accidentally explodes at the gym

So I know I said I wasn’t really planning to make a fic out of this but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I kinda want to now? I might? Make this a thing? Or at least write up a little drabble about how each character discovers their power? I have no idea but this was fun and I wanna do it again.This was super loose and rough, very little editing. Was just for fun  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also the entirety of my time spent in the gym until now was in preparation for writing about Bakugo and Kirishima going to the gym, so never give up on your dreams I guess

Also it’s super cool that some people started following me after reading my previous drabble! Thanks for doing so and I hope you continue to enjoy my dumb lil writings! （*´▽｀*）

It had been a week since Uraraka had been to the dermatologist, and they were still no closer to figuring out why her skin was behaving the way it was. The doctor had determined, at the very least, that the pads on her fingers were benign, and had suggested she try a callus cream. If nothing else, surgery to remove the pads was a last resort, but as they weren’t necessarily bothering her, Uraraka had initially dismissed the option.

It wasn’t alarming, but it stuck in the back of Bakugo’s mind as he headed to the gym with Kirishima.

“Hey man.” Bakugo greeted the redhead with a hearty clap on the shoulder as he emerged from his apartment.

“Hey!” A grin spread across Kirishima’s face, his mood infectious as always, as he stepped out into the apartment hallway. His broad hand enveloped the back of Bakugo’s neck and he went in for a combination chest bump and back slap, with a bit of a hug mixed in. After a moment, however, Kirishima broke their embrace and gave Bakugo a funny look.

“Dude, you’re like, really sweaty. Or greasy or something.”

“I know, right?!” The tips of Bakugo’s ears went pink in spite of himself. He wasn’t ever really ashamed of his body, and bodies did weird things from time to time, but he had found it odd that in even in the comfortable autumn air, he was suddenly working up a noticeable sweat. “I don’t know what the fuck’s going on but I’ve been sweating like crazy the past few days.”

“I’m telling you, you need more cardio,” Kirishima laughed as they made their way out of the apartment complex and into the quiet morning streets of Shibuya.

“It’s not even that,” Bakugo argued. “It’s like I’m sweating, but it doesn’t even smell or feel like sweat. Like—” he rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie and sniffed the crease of his elbow, then shoved his arm in Kirishima’s face— “it sort of smells like chemicals? Kind of like a sweet chemical smell?”

Kirishima cautiously sniffed, then looked up at Bakugo suspiciously. “That’s weird, man.”

“I know.”

They walked on in silent contemplation for a few minutes. Then Kirishima peered at Bakugo’s face.

“Your skin looks really good, dude.”

Bakugo regarded him quizzically.

“Like it looks really smooth. Like a baby’s butt. Maybe it’s your weird sweat.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kirishima.”

Kirishima laughed, a low giggle that erupted into hearty peals. It wasn’t that funny, but Kirishima somehow managed to find humor in almost everything, and with his childlike, friendly demeanor, he was often mistaken for a high school student, rather than twenty-two. This was especially true when he let his normally spiked hair go natural, falling around his face in a way that brought out the baby fat roundness in his cheeks. Today, however, Kirishima had decided against his usual styling routine, in favor of pulling his hair back in a low ponytail for their gym session. “I’m serious! Well, kinda anyway. Here—” he grabbed Bakugo’s forearm and rubbed his cheek against it— “we’ll see tomorrow how my face looks.”

Bakugo tore his arm out of Kirishima’s grip, then smacked him on the back of the head. “You’re a fuckin’ weirdo, you know that?” he barked out, suppressing a laugh. “Besides, that’s not even how that works.”

Kirishima shrugged. “Worth a try.”

“This is why you failed science in high school,” Bakugo snorted.

Kirishima was still arguing that he had been unfairly graded in science class (“Every science class?” Bakugo had asked) when the two of them reached the small gym. It was on the ground floor of a bigger building, not necessarily large, but tall, like most buildings in the area were. The gym itself was cozy, not really exclusive, but its members were more like a community, a family rather than a collection of random gym-goers. Bakugo liked it that way, and had convinced Kirishima to switch from the commercial gym he’d been a part of for the past year.

It was early in the morning, and while there were a few early risers like themselves that frequented the gym, today they were the first ones in the building. Being as tight-knit as it was, Bakugo and Kirishima had keys to open the gym whenever they pleased. They let themselves in and made their way to the locker room to change. Bakugo tore off his black hoodie and shoved it in his locker, revealing a very plain grey t-shirt that matched his grey and black gym shorts and black and white sneakers.

Kirishima, in comparison, had a slightly louder fashion sense. Unzipping his bright red sweatshirt revealed an equally bright red tank top that did a wonderful job of showing off his chest and broad shoulders. His gym shorts were, similar to Bakugo’s, an average dusty grey, while his maroon and white sneakers finished the ensemble.

Bakugo stuck a pair of earbuds in his ears, slipped his phone into the pocket of his shorts, and followed Kirishima to one of the squat racks in a far corner of the gym. Today was deadlift day. Nothing too hard, just some lighter reps for more volume and to help with his grip strength. Before Kirishima set himself up with the barbell to start warming up for his squats, Bakugo grabbed a second barbell from behind the rack, set it on the metal spotters, and loaded two large plates on either side.

With a quiet grunt, Bakugo lifted the barbell off the spotters and shuffled over to set it down next to the squat rack where he and Kirishima could lift side-by-side. He started off with a few light warm ups: positioned the bar midway over his feet, pulled back against its weight, straightened his back, and pushed his soles into the ground as the heavy barbell lifted up off the floor. He felt the pull in his hamstrings, the fullness of his lungs holding in a giant breath of air and the slight dizziness of holding that air in until it all came out in a whoosh after a couple reps.

Bakugo counted out ten quick reps, then took a minute’s rest to get some water at the drinking fountain. He returned, then added another 45-pound plate to each side of the barbell to start the actual work.

Even with his earbuds in and his music playing, Bakugo could still hear Kirishima next to him, whooping and grunting every so often. The two of them were usually courteous enough to be as quiet as possible whenever there were others in the gym, but since it was empty, they could let loose a bit this morning.

Bakugo bent down and adjusted his hands on the bar, the grippy crosshatched metal digging into his skin. He sucked a breath deep into his belly, bent down, back straight, and pulled. The barbell was heavy, but lifted with little resistance. Bakugo held his form for a second, two, three. He felt an itch in his palms, felt sweat trickling down his face, his forearms, into the creases between his fingers.

Suddenly, he felt the bar in his hands slip, his skin too slick to keep a tight grip.

“Fuck,” Bakugo muttered as his forearms strained to keep the bar up. “Fuck!” he shouted again as the bar slipped farther, and he felt the knurling grate against his palms.

And then, out of nowhere: a multitude of whip-like crackles, then an intense heat bloomed and spread through his arms. A bright flash of fiery orange-red, dark smoke enveloping his hands. An explosion, loud enough to shudder the squat rack that Kirishima was occupying, made louder by the accompanying thud of the barbell as Bakugo dropped all 225 pounds in an instant. The force of the explosion was enough to knock him back on his ass, and he rolled back a bit onto his shoulder to soften the blow. His palms buzzed with heat and energy, and even though the explosion seemed to have come from his very own hands, he felt no pain. Just an all-encompassing warmth that traveled up his forearms and left his heart racing.

Bakugo’s chest heaved as he stared at the barbell on the floor. Thin trails of smoke whisped and curled from his hands. Kirishima rushed to his side, eyes wide and terrified. “Holy fucking shit, Bakugo, are you okay? What the fuck happened?” He knelt down and placed a firm hand on Bakugo’s sweaty, trembling back.

“I have no fucking idea,” Bakugo breathed, his voice trembling as badly as his body. He swiped at his brow with his forearm and noticed that the sweat that had been dripping down his face a moment earlier had almost completely dissipated.

Kirishima sat down next to Bakugo, drew up his knees and rested his elbows atop them. “You hurt?” he asked, brows furrowed in concern. He regarded Bakugo, who glared intensely at his open palms.

“I…I don’t think so, but—Kirishima, my hands literally just exploded.”

A beat.

“Your hands—”

“Exploded, Kirishima. It sounds insane, I know, but I swear to god that’s what happened just now. I felt it.” Bakugo’s voice regained some of its strength. “When the bar slipped out of my hands, it like, ignited or something.”

“What did?” Kirishima asked cautiously.

“I think,” Bakugo said slowly, “it’s this stuff I’ve been sweating.”

Kirishima was silent, then carefully reached out to touch Bakugo’s hand. Bakugo recoiled immediately.

“Are you crazy, Shitty Hair?”

“Just relax, would you?” Kirishima rolled his eyes and grabbed Bakugo’s wrist, pulled it close to him, and brushed his fingertips across Bakugo’s open palm. Both boys stared at Bakugo’s hand, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, Kirishima seemed to noticeably deflate. “Well that was disappointing.”

“So you wanted me to incinerate your hand?”

Kirishima shrugged. “I dunno, I just…wanted to see if something would happen. But your hands didn’t feel sweaty at all, you know.”

Bakugo opened and closed his hands a couple times, brushing his fingers along the edge of his palm. Kirishima was right; all of the perspiration from earlier was practically gone.

“Something fucking weird is going on,” he muttered. He scrambled up off the floor, then held a hand out to Kirishima to hoist him up.

“Yeah,” Kirishima agreed as he let Bakugo pull him to his feet. “Between you and Uraraka, there’s something in the water these days, man.”

Uraraka. Bakugo pulled his phone from his pocket and saw, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, that she had called recently. For reasons that Bakugo would later attribute to the mysterious workings of the universe at large, he knew he needed to call her back right then. He didn’t know why, but he just knew.

With a heavy thumb he tapped on the missed call notification and brought the phone to his ear. She picked up after one ring.

“Uraraka? Hey, I—”

The sinking feeling in his stomach bottomed out as she interrupted him, her voice shaking as badly as his had moments ago. “Bakugo, I need you to come over, right now.”

“Are you okay?” he demanded.

“Just get here as soon as you can. Please.”

Bakugo ended the call immediately and grabbed Kirishima hard by the arm. “We have to go,” he explained, forcing down the panicked edge in his voice. “Now.”

#kacchako #kiribaku i guess? #kiribaku #the broiest kiribaku #kirishima eijirou #bakugo katsuki #uraraka ochako #bnha #mha #my fic stuff #au #i have heartburn #gn everyone #bakuraka

[sol1056]

My ask box continues to fill up, and I have no answers for any of this. I’ve gotten comments that @dreamworksanimation is good about things like fair representation in other shows when it comes to disability, queer relationships, racial diversity, and just plain solid storytelling. Why was @voltron the exception? 

Or you can just have the questions from my asks:

I really, really wanted [Dreamworks execs] to address the situation, to tell us why VLD took that enormous shitty turn and to apologize and do us better. But I'm guessing we already know the answer (arrogant inexperienced EPs) and I think they won't do anything about it, just try to fade Voltron to the background as it's ending and focus on She-ra, if they ever decide to apologize, they're just gonna focus on the LGBT rep as if its the worst problem of their story.

You know what, I hope someone makes an extensive list of all the morally questionable messages Voltron has sent with all its characters (Shiro & Kuron everything, and Lotor as abuse victim in particular), all in detail and shove them in their faces saying, but to you it's 2 guys in love and in a healthy relationship that is wrong, instead of ableism, racism, homophobia, etc. When I think of what the kids will take from Voltron I feel sick. But queer love is the problem here, right. I’m disgusted.

Us: can we get a happy ending too like the het people and couples in the show?

VLD: no, not a happy or even semi-happy ending, you'll get a miserable ending but get this, we're going to write the last survivor of the 4 queer characters we killed off to be totally on board with this. We'll write him and animate him as if he's happy and got resolution, growth, and catharsis and not as if he got demoted, sidelined, isolated, discarded by his family, worst of all by Keith. We'll say a monster like him can’t be a paladin.

Let’s also go back to talking about how they not only made Lotor, a victim of child abuse not to mention biracial character who grew up with everything against him: suddenly evil, be the same as his abusive "father" and "mother" (who even after remembering who he is pulled the same crap as before), took every happiness away from him and had the nerve to mock his abuse in S7?! As a child abuse survivor I'M HORRIFIED.

The messages in the Shiro/Adam scene is disgusting, this is such a difficult subject, even for adults show with plenty time to explore and be fair to both characters while being explicit about it all. I was worried: in a kids’ show? how can they write this in a way they'll get it? With barely time for it? but look what they wrote, Adam gave an ultimatum instead of support and died, then they blamed the disabled guy for everything. Message: you’re gay so your relationship and your life are worthless, you'll be miserable and alone.

For a team that is all about working together, voltron members after 7 seasons still don't feel like a family and more like colleagues from work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It feels odd knowing that they weren't actually battling homophobic higher ups. It feels more tactical and greedy for social justice points than out of genuine desire to showcase diversity. Is it coincidence that the character they dislike the most is the one selected for this honor? As a lesbian fan i'm skeptical and angry and refuse to watch anything else by these two.

People keep trying to excuse this stuff with "Voltron is a kids' show", but you know what? There are gay kids out there. There are disabled kids out there. Much as we may wish it otherwise, there are kids out there experiencing trauma. Do we REALLY want to teach those little kids that they are broken and tainted forever and nothing good is waiting for them in the world from here on out? People need to know how damaging it is to have ZERO stories in media showing realistic healing of trauma.

The lady who betrayed them got a proper send off scene even tho she send Adam & the others like pigs to slaughter & betrayed them & caused them all to almost lose and die. Got screentime & some characterization. But sure why respect Adam that way too. I will never forget the dread I had for him when I saw he was with the fighters who were sent to die, then watched them one by one lose their lives until he too, was killed. I still feel sick thinking about it. We never even learned his last name.

I know it's been a while but I'm not over how they treated Lotor in s6. I'm from a broken and dysfunctional home and this show I watch for escapism told me I'm doomed to repeat the same mistakes of my parents, end up just like them. ... Are they even aware of the messages they send to their audience? Not all of us had good childhood like Allura.

From a chronically ill perspective, I felt downright insulted by the choice they made to give Shiro a degenerative illness. The idea of a chronically ill hero is cool but they pull the cure narrative, they don't give him a real illness, and it's just used for cheap irrelevant drama. Plus the whole "Has to choose between loved ones and goals" thing was pretty insensitive, we're already expected to sacrifice so much as ill people so the reinforcement of that was unpleasant to watch and read meta on.

Even if everyone was white cishet abled guy the messages sent to kids were awful: One who fought to carve his own path was forced to become someone else, one who suffered and fought till the end was told he’s a monster that can’t be a paladin, the insecure one will never be worthy as himself and he'll always be someone else’s replacement, one who survived genocide and suffered loss upon loss until reduced to nothing, one who suffered by his parents’ hand became like them, the whole Kuron thing. You cant brush off all THAT.

going into the new semester with the horrible messages of s7 on my mind...i’m lethargic. i have been since the “retired paladin” interview. it was bad for me to balance my mental health on the state of a fictional character, but it was really effective. Until that awful message that disabled people are helpless in controlling their own lives. I’m trying to disconnect and thrive anyway, out of spite against ableism if nothing else.

I had this horrible realization: you know how Shiro is a victim of abuse and him getting the Black Lion was him regaining the control the lack of he suffered in his capture? I think they gave him the illness and handwaved it with the clone, so as to argue for his removal from the Black Lion. They claim that the reason he wanted control was the illness and not the victimization in the Galra hands. They're essentially erasing his trauma.

Writers: so we'll write endearing multidimensional characters with many layers, we'll have them subvert stereotypes, especially those that characters like them usually are written with, ie. Keith isn't a loner nor is he angry just 'cause, but a lonely abandoned kid with trust issues due to his mom leaving him, thus has poor emotional control and anger management, struggles to connect and open up, he is the one whose arc embodies the found family theme more than anyone. 

EPs: nah we want stereotypes loool

We talk about Shiro and all the ableism in his story but we don't talk nearly enough about how horrifying the message is that Keith is the one to take it all from him and kick him aside. Keith chose to discard Shiro because he's broken and useless, so he can take his place. I've been through things they both have and I find all that horrifying. S7 sent terrible messages to kids watching.

They had the chance to let Shiro overcome and be a hero. To defeat his own abuser (Sendak) except Keith takes over everything and fixes everything for him while he lies helpless on the ground without a new arm yet. They had the budget. The animation. They could have empowered Shiro. They saw how many people saw themselves in Shiro's struggle. They must have seen the concerns. And they actively chose to go against that.

The Bury Your Gays trope is even worse this season when you consider the heavy lesbian subtext with Lotor's former generals who get blown up on screen. And naturally, it's the one with a crush on Keith who turns good and survives.

Was there a minority that hasn't been screwed over? Bury Your gays was merely the last shocking straw, because the whole season was chockful of terrible messages and proved they would never treat their characters right and address stuff from before. Homophobia, racism, ableism, sexism, mocking of abuse, excusing abandonment & so on.

I’m adding my voice because I'm so, so tired. None of the characters i see on screen are the characters we got to know in s1/2. The character i most related to was beaten down out of spite for 4 seasons and now may as well be a cardboard cutout. DW and the EPs don't seem to give a single shit about how badly this season has affected people. i don't know whether to jump ship or spit fire over everything. i'm just... exhausted.

I want a transparent statement & apology from DreamWorks. I want to know THEIR stance & role in this, ALL the events that ended up with us getting a show that is not only homophobic but also ableist, racist, mocks child abuse and so much more. I want them to acknowledge & explain why they allowed the marketing team to bait fans with ship content in their videos, thumbnails and even that EP interview about shipping. I want to know who and why allowed the show to to take a worse direction in recent seasons.

I have no answers for any of this, @dreamworksanimation. If there are any explanations, any reassurances that you’ll work hard to prevent any repeat, you need to say so. The longer you’re silent, the more it looks like you’re fine with the story and all its horrific messages. Are you?

#vld #voltron #representation