did you already start planning squirrelstar's leader ceremony and if so who's giving her the 9 lives?
I'm still a bit concerned that the writers will pull something with her 9 lives, but I've got so many good choices for BB!Squilf that it's not an issue to start considering who's gonna turn up for her.
Plus, honestly, NOT totally interested in abiding by canon if they commit the dumbshit we're suspecting they might. Pre-emptively biting and killing it.
Here's the list of candidates so far. Everyone with a * is a definite yes;
Goldenflower
Her mentor in BB, replacing Dustpelt! After everything Squilf has gone through with Bramblestar, and after Golfy took her son's side after the big reveal, it feels good for her to show up with a life for Judgement. To decide when to listen to her heart, but also, when to realize when it is leading her astray.
Sandstorm
Mother choice is a solid one, though I'm leaning towards giving this life to Ferncloud for variety. Squilf's got 5 immediate relatives here to give her a life.
Hollylark*
Her grandkit, and Sparkpelt's mate who sacrificed xeir life to take her illness away.
Xey'd give her a life for Interdependence, for all of the connections that bind a Clan together. Love, friendship, convenience, family. Squilf is familiar with sacrifice in service of it... but it's more than that. To love is to BE loved-- she must accept reciprocity.
And... xey'd make some kind of loaded comment about Nightheart, knowing that neither one of them want to talk badly about him. I might end up changing xeir life to something like "letting go," as foreshadowing for how I'm absolutely planning for Nightheart to NOT return to ThunderClan after his road trip with Frostpaw. BUT I don't decide arcs until they're done so we'll have to seeeeee
Firestar*
Basically required. Squirrelstar is his daughter, the successor of his ideology, and the follow-up to a leader that Firestar considers a mistake.
His chats at these sorts of ceremonies often get wistful, so I feel like they'd talk about second chances, wanting people to be better than they are, how to fix things that are broken and when they aren't worth the effort. He says it explicitly, "You're just like me. A spark of my flames, burning bright, long after I've become starlight..."
His life would be for Progress. To continue to evolve and grow, to never be so stuck in the past that she can't see the future, to know when things can be fixed and when they must be broken.
Rosepetal
I want to save her on one hand, but on the other, having her go out in a blaze of glory at some point in ASC or TBC is a good reason why Squilf didn't make her deputy.
Rose was her first apprentice and has always been a dedicated, passionate warrior who would deeply want that spot. If she's here for the 9 lives ceremony, she'd give Squilf a life for Ferocity. "Give them twice the Hell you always do, so that it's like I'm right there next to you."
Shrewface* (Shrewpaw in life.)
Her guardian angel. He helped her hide the secret of Leafpool's pregnancy, and has always stood over her, providing help secretly. Now he can finally stand before her and give her a life. He would actually stumble and chuckle, because he's wanted to do it for so long he's blanking on the life he wants to give her.
On one paw, Squilf is a little annoyed. It's a super serious leader ceremony, holy moment in her life, but on the other... Shrewface is so HAPPY! His joy is infectious. He's standing before her as the adult he would have been, but under that, she sees the funny teenage best friend that she lost so long ago. It feels almost like being a kid again.
So she picks her own life by saying, "How about one for Joy?" And he says, "Hey that's a great idea!"
Rainwhisker
A ThunderClan cat who died in the WindClan Civil War, and someone she remembers fondly.
The life he gives is a life for Collateral. He has no shame in how he died, and he believes Firestar's call was the right one. But he needs to remind Squirrelflight that beliefs are backed with blood. Every time she brings her Clan into war, there is a chance that someone will die because of her choice. He restates that he believes his death was noble; but his life will remind her of the cost that someone else might pay.
Sootfur
If it's not Rainwhisker, I'd like his brother Soot to be here. I think his death was haunting, with how Squilf couldn't save him, watching him tumble down a rockface because of his broken leg and being brutally murdered by what-is-now a boar.
She's carried guilt from how she couldn't save him her whole life, so in contrast to Rainwhisker, his life is for Acceptance. To remember that not everything is her fault, and she could NEVER be so perfect as to avoid all of life's misfortunes. Even if others pin blame onto her for something she couldn't control; no leader is powerful enough to save everyone.
Thinking about it though, I might really try to slot BOTH of these guys in. I think the contrast of the two back to back is powerful; that actions have consequences, but not every tragedy is a consequence.
Ferncloud
She just died very recently, taking both Graystripe's super edition AND his sacrifice in the Dark Forest. Graystripe is still alive, living at the tribe with his son Stormfur. She confronted Ashfur for Squilf, so it feels right that she also comes to support her here.
Ferncloud, for the first time in so many years, looks at peace. She isn't gray and grizzled anymore, but sleek and vibrant. Her family surrounds her, Dustpelt, Elderberry, Brindleface, her many lost kits. So, the life that she gives Squilf is for Faith. In StarClan that she will always have Clanmates in the skies to watch out for her, in her Clan that there will always be future angels fighting by her side.
Longtail
Her uncle, and Jayfeather's mentor who trained him into the full angel-punching cat he became.
During the big trial she has in Squirrelflight's Horror, Longtail was one of her loudest supporters, and eventually nudged her backwards so her son could grab her ankle and drag her back down to the mortal plane. He's always been her wonderful uncle, so, he might end up taking that life for Faith from Ferncloud. Just depending.
Feathertail*
I want her to show up in the ceremonies of every patrol cat who achieves power, as a given. If we get Crowstar, I also want her to be there. I just think it's nice that if Crow, Bramble, and Squilf ever did end up able to chat about this together, in spite of the TANGIBLE awkwardness of the three of them being in the same room, they'd be able to make a joke about Feathertail Gives You A Life and it would land a little TOO hard, be a little TOO funny, because they were hoping that SOMETHING would lighten the air and it did.
But anyway, this incredibly specific desire aside,
Feathertail Gives You A doobie life for Tranquility. That the once-impulsive Squirrelstar will be able to slow down and consider every action, to take a deep breath in stressful times and think about what she's about to do. That as leader she will be under immense pressure, yeah, but also immense power. She can always afford to take a moment before making a big decision.
Leafpool*
MANDATORY. There's NO reality where I do not end off this ceremony with Leafpool.
When she steps up, they can't look at each other without crying. It overwhelms them, to the point where Squilf can't even choke out her sister's name. Leafpool, meanwhile, has gotten used to controlling her body while her heart breaks into billions of little pieces. She'd done it for her whole life, and now, she does it again in death.
"this life is for love," she touches her night-cold nose to Squirrelstar's, and the new leader's vision begins to fade into black, "you know why."
From the darkness, memories burst forth. Of them as kits, their silly games and dreams, how they planned to one day be the cleric and leader of ThunderClan together.
The terrible loneliness of being separated while Squirrelpaw was on the Sundrown Patrol. The ache in Leafpool's heart whenever she saw her sister mistreated; how she gave up on relationships with Crowfeather and, to some extent, with Mothwing as well so she could serve her Clan and stay with her family.
The three kits, the anxiety as Squirrelflight took them, the way it felt like Leafpool was being flayed to give them up. Parenting, loyalty, betrayal as Hollyleaf snapped and revealed the secret Squirrelflight desperately didn't want to keep, the guilt that Leafpool felt watching her suffer for helping her.
The way they always felt like, on some level, it was them against the world.
And then she wakes up, back on the shore of the Moonpool, with her Clerics beside her. Leafpool is gone. StarClan is, once again, very far away, and she's left with nothing but the cold feeling on her nose and the looming specter of war ahead of her.
12 candidates in total, but only 9 can take the spot. So I'll trim it down once we get there!
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
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Nearly everything that Slash does is just something Clear Sky did. The only difference is that the narrative is arbitrarily concluding that Clear Sky's behavior was all totally excusable and understandable because of good intentions (which he does not actually have anyway) whereas Slash is pure evil.
Steals prey and land
Brutalizes anyone who gets in his way (Clear Sky has a higher body count and Slash never directly murders anyone though)
Rules group through fear and intense control
Orders gladiator-style public "training" sessions where they all fight with claws out
Smacking children (Alder, Fern Leaf)
Hand-feeds subordinates so they can control exactly what they eat
Allows big piles of food to start rotting in camp
Throws a subordinate in front of a predator (Thunder with a fox, Beech with a dog)
Threats of violence and general assault (Clear Sky is CONSTANTLY hitting women who offend him)
Didn't give proper burials to victims (Clear Sky was going to leave all the dead bodies of his cats behind at the First Battle and left Misty's corpse to rot after taking her children, Slash had his dead underlings brought to the dump)
Clear Sky's fridged wife comes out of the sky to coo that his behavior "never drove anyone away" while Slash is here DOING THE BEHAVIOR that apparently "never drove anyone away."
They tried so hard to make a villain worse than Clear Sky to make him look better in comparison but physically couldn't. He was that bad.
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