#residual trauma

[howifeltabouthim]

Everyone who has had a bad childhood is angry.

Catherine Lacey, from Biography of X

#angry #childhood trauma #unhappy childhood #ptsd #anger issues #residual trauma #characterization #ain't that the truth #quotes #lit #words #quote #literature #catherine lacey #biography of x

[missmoonfrost]

Survivors - a wolfstar microfic

March 8 - Pepperup Potion - 739 word

Sirius came home, left his things in a heap on the hall floor, and went straight to the kitchen cabinet.

Remus leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms. “Hello? Welcome home.”

“Where’s my Pepperup?”

“Didn’t know we had one.”

“It was right here!”

“You can’t keep potions in unmarked bottles. That’s flat-out dangerous.”

“Not if you don’t move them around!”

“Stop being a child!”

“Stop screaming at me!”

“You’re the one who’s screaming.”

Sirius slammed the cabinet door shut so hard Remus could hear several bottles fall over inside it. He stomped straight to the bedroom and slammed that door shut after him as well. Damn it! Why did Sirius have to be so moody?

Remus sat down on the living room sofa, rubbing his face and sighing deeply. He was no better himself, to be honest. Maybe even worse at times.

It had been going on for months. At work he was bored, waiting to get home. At home, he was waiting for Sirius to come brighten his day. And almost without fail, Sirius would come home tired and on edge, leaving Remus both worried and irritated. The quiet life they once dreamed of now seemed mundane.

Who would have thought it was this hard living together? They loved each other, for Merlin’s sake! Or, Remus still loved Sirius, that was. Some days he found himself doubting it was still being reciprocated. Days like this.

The suspicion hit him like a pang in the chest. Maybe he was seeing someone else?

He heard Sirius roaming about in the kitchen but decided to leave him be. Doubt still tormenting him.

Maybe he should just ask? Get it over with? He poured two glasses of whiskey. There was no way he was having that conversation without a strong drink at hand.

Sirius came out in the living room with two cups of tea. He snorted when he saw the two glasses already on the coffee table. “Yeah. We need that, don’t we?”

He put the tea down but kept standing. As if he hesitated to even sit close to Remus.

“How are you?” Remus asked in what he hoped was a level enough voice. “Catching a cold?”

“I’ve not been feeling great today. But it's better now. I found it, the Pepperup. I… eh… put it on my nightstand yesterday and forgot.”

He was still standing. Still not looking at Remus.

“Are you seeing someone else?”

Sirius stared at him. Then pressed a hand to his eyes and started sobbing. Remus suspected the worst. A confession or something.

“How bad did I mess up for you to ever think that,” Sirius let out between sobs, “You mean so much to me, I… Remus, I would never.”

That broken voice was all the reassurance he needed. Remus sprung to his feet and hugged him tight. “I’m sorry. I know. I’m so sorry. I love you.” They slowly rocked back and forth together.

“How can it be so hard, Moony?” Sirius complained into Remus' shoulder. “We’ve been through bloody war. I’ve been to bloody prison. I thought everything else would be easy after that and it’s just… not.”

They collapsed on the sofa, still clinging to each other.

“Maybe we’re just not trying hard enough?” Sirius suggested. “Everyone else seems to do it just fine.”

“Maybe we’re trying too hard?” Remus countered. “Just because the war is over doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Maybe we need to scream and cry and throw things sometimes?”

Sirius smiled with one corner of his mouth. “Yeah. Or maybe we need to go to therapy?”

Remus smiled, too. “What? You’re going to be the reasonable one now?”

Sirius cupped his hand around Remus' neck and inched closer. “Maybe I need you to hold me like you’re not sure I’ll be there tomorrow again?” Then he quickly shut his eyes, “I mean, don’t think for a second I miss that time, but –“

Remus kissed him, shutting him up. “I get what you mean.”

In fact, that particular desire he understood perfectly. He climbed into Sirius' lap and painfully easily fell into the pretence. Tasted Sirius lips as if he might not get the chance again. Reverently unbuttoned his shirt. Trailed his finger down his chest, heaving with each shaky breath, and into his trousers, as if it might be the last time.

After all, if they didn’t quit the idiocy of lately, it might just be.

#wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius × remus #post war AU #residual trauma #two broken men in a broken relationship #did you feel like crying today? #apparently I did

[trashy-greyjoy]

the potential for a scene down the line of carmy repeating sydney's words back to her by telling her she's "the most excellent cdc at the most excellent restaurant in the entire united states of america."

#like could you imagine them getting a star and sydney starts to overthink it and he just reminds her he knows who she is with her own words #sydcarmy #the bear #sydney x carmy #maybe its just the residual blarke trauma projecting... iykyk

[shittysawtraps]

saw traps are like trolley problems but the person in charge of the lever is also tied to the tracks

you can bet your ass that john kramer has "philosopher" in his instagram bio

#saw franchise #shitty saw traps #mod amanda #he has an instagram because amanda signed him up #he uses it to watch reels of animals and car crashes #(he still has some residual trauma from that original car crash)

[sonicchaoscontrol]

Extremely suspicious as to why they won't let Tails know he's there... cause Sonic is right, you'd think he'd be able to help! *squints at them* Also, I had a thought today... is there any way to contact Silver? Cause in theory, if they could just get Silver to their point in the timeline, he could transport Sonic back to where he's supposed to be, and all their problems would be solved. I'm sure this won't work for story reasons, but I'm curious 👀

You'd think! I'm sure they've got their reasons. Maybe not the best of reasons, but reasons nonetheless. Besides, proper communication is a commodity when all parties are up to their eyeballs in 'Busy'.

Some had bigger shoes to fill than others.

As far as Silver goes, yeah, he's normally a bit of a McGuffin in this type of storyline, and because of this he was the last character I figured out the place for. I can't reveal too much this early in, but! There's a few routes, a few angles, that might come into play for him, and all of them boil down to the crux of his character origin: He's from a ruined future, isn't he...?

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #tails the fox #miles tails prower #sonic au #it's fine. they're all perfectly well adjusted with no residual trauma #i say; lying through my teeth #mod draws #mod post

[kelocitta]

Favoritism O-02-32 Personal Log 01 - Control Team Personnel Liar (Cont)

Against my wishes I have been reassigned. The abnormality is too aggressive towards our highest ranked staff, and lower ranked staff are unequipped to deal with it. Its a pain for anyone to deal with, so they're putting it off on me. Acceptable losses I guess.

My sister let me in on a secret though. The selection process barely looks at rank qualification- its all focused on picking out people least likely to get attached to the thing. How that is even a problem I don't know. Its ugly and creepy, and as far as abnormalities go it doesn't even have mind powers, as far as I know. Corpses aren't exactly endearing, even without being vermin infested. Could be worse I guess.

O-02-32 Personal Log 02 - Control Team Personnel Liar

It was my first contact with the thing, and it was boring. You would think it had finally died for good, sitting crumpled in the corner. I wasn't given any special assignments, so I just sat there for basic observation while the stupid little rodents wiggled around under the fabric. Maybe the skeleton twitched once or twice. I suppose I should be thankful for a boring assignment considering what exciting entails. I know its completely brutalized some unfortunate coworkers before. Whatever though, didn't die.

O-02-32 Personal Log 07 - Control Team Personnel Liar

The routine seems fine. The gear they've given me makes being in the same room as it more bearable, and during one of our later sessions it even gave me a little crown. Its kind of cute honestly- where do abnormalities even get their gifts? They aren't produced by the company. I heard one theory that they're objects of significance to the things, but even with it wearing its own im not sure it even has the capacity for sentimental feelings. They don't have brains, much less emotions. Its blind instinct. Feels kinda silly how much we match now though. Feels like a bad joke.

O-02-32 Personal Log 10 - Control Team Personnel Liar Working with it every day has to be bad for my health. It behaves exactly like an abnormality- that senseless pattern of routine they follow. I know it like the back of my hand at this point. But sometimes when I'm in that unit and its in it's corner- it looks at me. It's not like the first day where it was clear there wasn't anything with any sense of self. Its just bones and rodents, but it doesn't feel like it anymore. There's something else there, buried under it, something I feel like I shouldn't be seeing. Being in there makes me depressed and frustrated and I can't even place why.

… Tomorrow I'm going to ask about reassignment.

#oc: rat king #drew a random grunt. thought about it too much #their name is liar off of one of my old lc nuggets named library #yeah library #and their sister ruina #anyway its important to remember the rat king is not rat nor person. its an abnormality and driven mostly by its trauma of creation #said trauma including a lot of rats and a lot of people and a lot of anger #yay residual sense of human self(s)! #scribbles

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

“i don’t need to be liked. people pleasing and fawning served as a survival mechanism in the past but i’m an adult now i am capable of providing my own internal locus of validation. i dont have to fundamentally alter myself to fit each person,” i say thru gritted teeth, gripping the edge of the sink so hard it leaves claw marks

#fawn trauma response #cw: childhood trauma #<- just in case #i'm working on this!!! and slowly slowly getting better! #honesty is rly RLY important to me. so i don't alter myself to the point where im ingenuine about who i am as a person. #but there's occasionally this lingering residual sense that i have to perform in order to be liked. which is REally fun :) #anyway :)

[bethrnoora]

a couple things that are loosely but also maybe not really connected. i think he thinks of alisanne dupre from time to time

#when that good good survivors guilt sneaks up on you #i think cicero held alisanne in high regard and the times they interacted when she came to cheydinhal i think she was nice to him :) #skyrim #tes #the elder scrolls #cicero skyrim #dark brotherhood #alisanne dupre #hiisi #nebulous thoughts about cicero internally drawing a parallel btwn alisanne and hiisi and residual trauma taking him by surprise. idk #🐈‍⬛🃏

[exmojoe]

Me in a situation that triggers me because of ✨religious trauma✨:

Me staying in said situation also because of ✨religious trauma✨:

#still have not fully deconstructed the whole glorification of suffering and pain thing yet #but the trauma surrounding the reaidual effects of polygamy are hitting really hard rn #residual #pimo #exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #ex cult #ex fundie #ex evangelical #ex jw #ex christian #religious trauma

[catholicguiltcore]

when diane neal said olivia and casey had sexual tension i firmly believe she forgot that we couldn’t see what happens off camera which must be where the sexual tension was present

#olivia was out to GET casey from day one #they were at each other’s NECKS #olivia had residual homoerotic workplace relationship trauma after alex left so kinda valid #law and order svu #svu #casey novak #olivia benson #diane neal #mariska hargitay #homoerotic tension

[phlurrii]

You mentioning the idea of Noe getting a child in regards to the Bad Egg made me wonder something.

So Meau and Noe are non-romantic but still dedicated partners. Hypothetically, what would their roles be if they were to raise a child together? Would they be parental figures, or would they be like, mutual caretakers? Or something else?

When it came to Meau having Mew, and eventually Flurry, she choose to have them as an individual instead of “with” Noe. Thus he didn’t have any parental obligation or biological connection to them. It didn’t stop him from being an aunt/uncle or Nanny to them though! He’s the spoiler type, hence Mews obsession with trinkets and toys in LMoM movie lol

If they decided to have a kit and raise it together, it would be different. Noe physically could never reproduce, so either Meau cooks up another kit and specifically adds genes that would represent Noe physically, or they’d use the sapling method I talked about here! Or adopt if stray mews existed!

Parent role wise, they would just share the responsibilities like any two guardians would. Meau takes a ‘mothering’ role via habit, but Noe fits both roles very well. Lowkey they’re probably a better “classic mother” than Meau is, overall Missingno is much gentler, softer spoken, and more tender parent then Meau. Not to say she isn’t by any means, but Noe would be a very, very loving and infinitely patient parent. He’s a special lil maow maow and would make his kit feel loved at every turn ;>

#Meau would have some residue trauma from Mew’s situation #we’ll see that more in depth with flurry #but noe has borderline infinite patience #almost infuriatingly so that they don’t react strongly to much #no matter how wacky or strange #just good parent #endlessly loving #I miss that in media XD #mew #ancient mew #the ancient mew #missingno

[inner-sakura]

the law of equivalent exchange

Fandoms: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Categories: F/M Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug,  Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

Summary: 

In one world, a wish is made.    

Yet for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. And a price that must always be paid.  

[’Tuesday, Ladybug thinks, is a very arbitrary day to die.’]

[canon divergent, not season 5 compliant. angst. major character death. author makes questionable use of The Wish mechanics.] 

i wrote this instead of sleeping. it can probably be generously called conceptual.

-x-

Tuesday, Ladybug thinks, is a very arbitrary day to die.

Not that she’d ever given much thought to which day of the week would be her last, per se. But as she lays there, blackness slowly creeping into the edges of her vision, she can’t help but ruminate; her mind flitting from one thought to the next as though trying to cram as much material into as little time as possible.

It’s not like she can do much apart from sit there and think, anyway. She’s completely lost feeling in her legs now, numbness replacing what used to be a world of sensation. Even if she wanted to move, it’s simply not an option anymore.

Besides, she lost the taste for it fairly quickly upon realizing just how painful moving could be when your insides have suddenly become outsides.

So she sits, and she thinks, and she waits to die.

She’s in the process of contemplating the simple majesty of a cloudless blue sky when blackness fills her vision, followed swiftly by gold and green and–

“Oh hey, kitty,” she smiles, and then immediately regrets it when she begins coughing, the greeting aggravating her already angry throat. When she finally stops, her lips are damp, and she doesn’t need to look at Chat’s stricken expression to know that her mask isn’t the only streak of red on her face anymore.

His hands are heartbreakingly gentle as they lift her, cradling her broken body against his trembling chest.

Chat’s voice is so low it’s nearly inaudible.

“No no no no no,” he mutters, the mantra he’s been repeating almost from the moment he landed beside her. The single syllable carries with it a well of desperation far too deep for such a simple two letter word.

“This can’t be happening,” he says, speaking more to himself than to her. Even though her eyes are having a hard time focusing, she can tell when his gaze zeroes in on hers; can feel his resolve crystallizing in the air between them. “Tell me what to do, my Lady. Where’s your Lucky Charm? We have to fix this, please.”

“Gone,” she rasps, the word leaving her with difficulty. “Bro–ken–” Useless now, she wants to add. Monarch made certain of that.

She has to stop there, though, because her vision is going spotty the longer she tries to speak and she has so much she wants to say and so little time left to do it.

Chat lets out a mournful noise like that of a wounded animal, his hands gripping her shoulders desperately.

“No, there has to be another way,” he all but wails, leaning over her until all she can see and feel is black leather and devastation. He presses his forehead to hers, each of his tears burning hot against her clammy skin.

“I’m sorry,” she mouths against his ear, trusting his enhanced hearing to pick up her nearly voiceless plea. I’m sorry that I’m going first. I’m sorry that we couldn’t win.

I’m sorry that I’m leaving you alone.

Chat is openly bawling now, his body wracked with sobs that jostle her in a way that would have probably been painful, if she could feel anything anymore.

But the only thing she’s feeling at this point is increasingly sleepy; her eyelids weighted down with all of the failures she’s experienced in her nearly sixteen years on this planet.

I love you, she wants to tell him, but her throat won’t cooperate, her lungs and vocal cords standing in opposition to each other, denying her even the right to choose her last words.

And so Ladybug dies, wordlessly and anticlimactically, on a sunny Tuesday afternoon.

-x-

This is one ending.

But in a world of infinite possibility, with thousands of threads woven together to create the tapestry of time, even one slight tug can be enough to unravel the fabric.

Chat Noir, like many holders of the Black Cat Miraculous before him, has never been known for his delicacy, however.

Which means that he doesn’t so much tug on the strands as he shears through them with his claws, reaching through the sea of infinite realities to wrest creation from the jaws of oblivion.

He makes a wish.

And he destroys the world.  

-x-

Tuesday, Ladybug thinks, staring down at the broken body of Monarch, is a very arbitrary day to die.

Although judging by the hour, it is barely Tuesday anymore; the clock on her yoyo inching steadily towards the dawning of a new day.

And a new day has dawned indeed.

For the flood of first responders steadily trickling into the hidden catacombs that lie beneath the Agreste mansion; for the citizens of Paris, asleep in their beds, blissfully unaware of what has taken place in their city tonight.

And for its heroes. Ladybug’s eyes dart to her partner, who remains frozen at her side, his acid green irises fixed unwaveringly on the dead man at his feet.

The police have already questioned them both, their statements written and recorded for posterity. Now all that is left to do is wait for the medical examiner to come and remove the body in the basement.

Or, she should say the bodies, plural. Her eyes flick to the glass case to her right and Ladybug’s stomach turns anew with horror at the sight of the tomb that contains the remains of Adrien’s mother.

For how many people are in the room, there is a remarkable lack of noise; each person moving with the distinct knowledge that they have entered a graveyard and respect must be shown for the dead.

Nevertheless, the work is not quite done.

As the world continues to spin madly on around them, Ladybug turns to her partner, grim-faced and determined.

“We need to find Adrien Agreste,” is what she says.

Chat does not respond, but he follows her silently, out of the grave and into the early morning hours of what will soon become known as the most climactic Wednesday Paris has ever seen.

-x-

This is another ending.

A world, newly forged by the hands of a boy desperate to save a girl.

A world of infinite possibility, with thousands of threads painstakingly woven together by hands more accustomed to destruction than creation.  

Adrien Agreste, unbeknownst to him, lives to realize his father’s dream.

He makes a wish, and saves his love–his Lady, his classmate, his best friend. The other half of his soul residing within a different body.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng lives.

And together they kill his father.

-x-

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #ml fanworks #ml fic #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #ladynoir #ml fanfic #I HAVE #NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS #other than pain #and probably residual trauma from the season 5 finale manifesting itself in strange ways #im sorry?? #im soft-launching this on tumblr cause im afraid its too offbrand for my ao3 LMAO #lemme know folks

[jaegerbroshoe]

I hate how the movies didn’t incorporate the extent to which the bombs/Coin’s execution physically and mentally damaged Katniss (her burn scars, her muteness, her singing for days then resolving to kill herself by starving) or the long process of recovery (her not taking care of herself when she makes it back to 12 and not hunting for months until she sees Peeta again/Peeta needing to attend months of therapy in the Capitol before he could come back to 12) or the ever-lasting trauma in the epilogue like the books did.

I mean, Katniss does mention still getting nightmares during her monologue, but I feel like they could have shown Peeta dealing with one of his flashbacks or something. Cause they make it look like he’s all happy and dandy as if he wasn’t tortured and hijacked.

#or katniss could have said 'we both do' regarding the nightmares #anyways I just like the realism of the epilogue in the books #it's not a happy ever after ending #like it leaves a residual feeling of sadness despite them being able to heal in some ways #but the movies gloss over all that #also katniss was literally locked up for months before she goes back to district 12?? #the movies make it look like she got sent back in a day #and that the whole thing wasn’t that big of a deal #also don’t like how they make it look like effie was unaffected by everything when she was also traumatized and not the same in the end #just…I don’t think they captured the extent of trauma and recovery the books portrayed #and it’s a shame because it’s one of the major themes in the series #the hunger games #misc #my opinion

[hellt00th]

Do u think Shepard is silently freaking out in the docking tube to the geth dreadnaught, considering they’re like 1 mistake away from being spaced again

#mass effect #Shepard #I know shep already feels like they’re not really a person anymore bc of the Cerberus upgrades but at the same time #there’s definitely gotta be some residual trauma from suffocating to death in space

[idontlikeem]

trying very hard to not let the horrible feelings from last season infect me while watching. it’s ok that our real roster looks shaky they’ve only played together once!!!!

#pens lb #I will get over it I just have residual trauma

[canismajors]

love the cynonari collei family but i have huuuuge beef w how cynonari fans portray collei. She Would Not Say That

#assign this strange naivety to her. girl she has killed two people #i have sooo many thoughts on the way that cyno & tighnari give collei a space to experience her childhood when it was previously denied from #her & i think her relationship to both of them is rlly important. the game givingm collei a spacd to heal from her trauma surrounded by #people who support her unconditionally is the best aspect of collei's in-game narrative #some cynonari fans ignore all the aspects of her character that forms her relationship w cyno & tighnari - her trauma & experiences #her eleazar the archon residue and portray her solely as. cynonari child. & she's always presented as naive and much more childish than she #actually is. its sooo irritating she is not like that at all & its kinda clear that they don't care abt collei as a character only as a prop #for cynonari 😭😭😭 anyway its frustrating #also i wonder how much of it is shaped by the fact that she canonically struggles w literacy. & has visible symptoms of trauma. & has traits #that can be read as neurodivergent. anway