#seeking the truth

[superbdonutpoetry]

This is Not a Testimony: It's Meant to Show that it Can Take Time for Someone to get Saved

In my earlier years I was a Pentecostal, excited to have become a child of God, being ‘born-again’ 🤣 — this is when I chose to read through the Bible. It was at this point in my life I took note of the obvious contradictions between Romans (where I was convinced I was totally saved) and then upon reading James I became rather confused and was convinced I wasn’t saved at all and thus tried in my…

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#1 Corinthians 15:1-4 #Deception in the church #Pentecostalism #Seeking the truth #Spiritual journey

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[agentc0rn]

Love it when there's cool™ folks with extensive historical knowledge of lore and ancient lineages who have gone through losses and sought questionable ways of achieving their goals + having indirect connection to their respective beings of worship

#pokemon volo #pokemon zinnia #my art #pokemon #pokemon legends #pokemon legends arceus #giratina #pokemon fanart #tried to draw other characters this time #the🍎symbolizes the knowledge of good and evil on his left hand (the knowledge of the world + history gained through his heritage + “job” #in a way I see the ghost plate as an equivalent of the apple #a deal made with giratina to seek the truth and way to meet arceus like the snake convincing Eve to eat the fruit (sorta). #after researching i did not realize that leppa berry backwards was apple (with e and l switched around)

[awesomecooperlove]

💵💰💸

#climate change is a hoax #lies for profits and create fear #deep state’s plan to destroy the planet depopulate 7 billowing people and enslave the rest #environnement #environmetalists #we have been lied #manipulated and controlled by few extremely powerful individuals #wake up humanity #speak up #standup #seek truth #speaktruth #these people are evil #fight for justice #crimes against humanity #truth #please share #wwg1wga

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies. #What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features) #I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status. #'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point! #Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope. #Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life. #She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'. #Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING) #Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her. #She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want. #And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy. #Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow. #Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

[dykeinthedark]

Somerton's misogyny and lesbophobia was fucking blatant and the fact his fans didn't care / notice until a man made a video on it is abhorrent. That IS a problem, people NEED to do better or else bigotry towards women will only continue to be accepted! Lesbians were calling this loser out for years and no one cared!

hey. as a lesbian who watched somerton's videos you have to understand that it wasn't "fucking blatant" and it was embedded between smart (stolen) points in the structure of the argument, and was given fake "evidence" to prove it --- something hbomberguy specifically shows with every example. i personally always noticed that it was weird and it was always a critical point when watching his videos (and also uh, side note but you shouldn't primarily go to cis white men for good takes about feminism and the lesbian experience anyways --- like, you should be watching a diverse intake of thought from underrepresented creators and understand that the cis/white/male perspective will always be limited because it's not universal)

to many, though, it for sure didn't register as a pattern of behavior until the instances were laid out. saying that audiences were "abhorrent" for "excusing" it just shows a complete lack of sympathy, because again: the pattern of behavior was the problem, and rhetorically each individual instance was relegated to enough plausible deniability where it slipped by most audiences who were probably watching the video in the background while they folded laundry or something. when bigotry is shrouded under the guise of fact, it takes on the affect of truth and abuses the viewer's trust in the creator. sure, media literacy is a huge problem, and i've written and researched so much into that, and yeah yeah audiences should "do better." the reality is though, putting the blame on the audience feels a little misogynistic in itself, bc you're just shifting the blame from the literal people who need to be blamed for practicing bigotry --- cis white men with a large platform.

the real thing u should be saying here is to call for a diversification of one's media intake, but no -- let's blame the audience for getting lied to, instead of uplifting female, queer, trans, poc, etc voices. the only way people "need" to do better, imo, is listening to those people instead and seeking multiple perspectives.

like y'all, let's retire this very new narrative that all james somerton fans were evil misogynists who willingly supported this and need to be destroyed. really most people who watched his content were younger queer people genuinely interested in queer media analysis, film theory, and queer history, probably excited that a long video essay was dedicated to their favorite show/movie/etc, and lets not pretend this wasn't disappointing for them as well. can everyone like chill out.

#hbomberguy #james somerton #like for me personally it was always like. yeah his view is hindered by being a cis white gay man. and when ur a lesbian noncis poc like me #u just kind of accept bigotry like that as inevitable?? fucked up but in that instance u literally just watch fem creators of color instead #DIVERSITY YOUR MEDIA OR DIE!!!!!!!!!! UPLIFT MARGINALIZED VOICES!!!!! STOP BLAMING AUDIENCES FOR BEING DUMB #LITERALLY IF U KNOW ANYTHING ABT MEDIA STUDIES RULE 1 IS AUDIENCES ARE LAZY AND WON'T FACTCHECK #IT'S UP TO CREATORS TO PRESENT THE TRUTH AND UP TO THE LISTENER TO SEEK MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES

[mantis-a-shrimp]

I relate to Apollo Justice because I am also in love with Klavier Gavin and mad about it

#idiotic ridiculous beautiful truth seeking man #ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #klapollo

[magpie-trove]

I just don’t think the truth divides. I think the lie does

#no but there’s sooo many people I’m encountering recently that are like no no we just gotta look at this issue or question and go #well we can’t really know #that’s the only way to keep the peace and be loving #if we take a stance it becomes divisive and we don’t want to do that #so we are just going to be United by ignoring all the differences #and. I don’t think that’s right!! I think that’s fake unity!!! that’s putting on a happy face and throwing a rug over all the cracks in the #foundation instead of going hm why are those there what should be there #what is true and what is a lie #and of course a lie is something you don’t want to be believing in #I just think the lie is divisive. the division is already there #the truth must be found out. and that’s the thing we should agree upon #and I do think if you are willing and open and seeking and putting all the things together #you will find the thing that ties all the things together and that’s the truth #and that will be unitive

[iamthecomet]

In the simplest terms (and because it feels relevant today): Artists make their art for themselves. They post their art for other people.

#comet comments #it's not weird or wrong to seek validation for things you create #the amount of words I've written that no one else has ever read is astronimical #I am very good at writing for myself #but I don't need to post writing to do that #and if people don't appreciate art #then why should artists post art #they'll make it regardless you just might not get to see it #and no that isn't a threat or meant to be rude #it's just the truth

[news4dzhozhar]

#israel is an apartheid state #apartheid wall #440 mile wall #west bank #icj ruling #wall violates international laws #international court of justice #illegal occupation #illegal wall #un general assembly #all these organizations are useless #apartheid #save palestine #ethnic cleansing #seek truth #free palestine 🇵🇸 #genocide #israel is committing genocide #israeli war crimes #please share #spread awareness #propaganda kills #israeli lies #israel is a terrorist state #palestinian resistance #budrus village #seam zones #residency permits to live in THEIR OWN HOMES! #palestinian culture

[mudlarkspur]

@thedawningofthehour

Hey I've been rotating that one line in my head at the speed of light. Got me thinking about the biggest lie CY!Draxum ever told Junior. Desc under readmore.

Image 1:

Side profile of Donnie looking up at the quote "my father doesn't lie to me". She's wearing her headgear and saree with a choli and mask shaded in a slightly darker color. They are wearing earrings and two necklaces. They're saying "...hm"

Image 2:

Draxum, a buff goat man wearing a kurta with the sleeves rolled up. He's wearing his horns without the face plate or helmet. He's saying "of course I've lied to you." In slightly smaller text he's saying "you don't need vegetables, I just wanted you to eat good food."

Donnie's face is by his left elbow and they look deeply offended

#catch you au #Draxums horns are bigger but I drew in pen #The truth come out: Donnie needs maybe one vegetable a week not at least two every meal #But it got them to eat good food! #And now they actively seek out good and full meals #Any other lie he's told was an accident or something Draxum himself believes

[taz-writes]

here's a hot take for today

the narrative function of sex is the same as the narrative function of fight scenes is the same as the narrative function of songs in a musical

no i will not explain

#taz talks #writing #actually i WILL explain but i'll do it in the tags #these each serve the same function within their respective appropriate genres #each one is a kind of revelation #they heighten the connection between 2+ characters and highlight relationships and feelings and needs #they are out of place in genres where they do not belong and/or as curveballs when the narrative did not provoke them from the start #but they have the same sort of emotional/dramatic build-up #talk -> sing -> dance (talk -> yell -> stab) ((talk -> flirt -> You Know)) #and they are all expressions of intense physicality and intimacy through physical gesture and interaction #they are fundamentally empty and boring if there is not a deeper purpose or drive behind them #although they can still occasionally be entertaining on their own if your audience is specifically seeking that experience out #people who do not like them will be very unhappy to encounter one where it isn't supposed to be #it is very easy to ruin the mood with poor word choice #many people have an inherent sense for terrible ones but it's often difficult or complicated to explain precisely why a bad one fails #when executed properly they are a very raw and intimate expression of a character's most fundamental needs and desires #the fluff is stripped away and there is nothing left but a series of needs. conflicting or cooperating. #and even when you're lying during one it's still a form of truth #none of these things are remotely necessary to tell a powerful or compelling story but if you're going to use them you need to do it right #also all 3 of these things are difficult if not impossible to write if you are not both interested in them and personally invested #this post brought to you by me trying to write smut about my dnd characters and failing because i generally hate /reading/ smut #so i have none of the vocabulary or instinct for it that i do for. say. graphic violence (or lyrical poetry)

[inkskinned]

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

#the thing i teach my preschoolers is #if something bad happens to u #and it hurts you #tell someone #and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE #UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU #it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth #it is THEIR fault for not hearing you #if you are like me and ''attention seeking'' #please #if u can #GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED. #at some point we all have to do this on our own #it has to be our own personal work #but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work #a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever #YOU DESERVE HELP. #you deserve connection #and i love you #suicide implied #tw self harm

[walkswithmyfather]

‭‭Acts‬ ‭16:5‭-‬10‬ ‭(NIV).‬‬ “So the churches were strengthened in the faith and grew daily in numbers. Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.”

“Confronting a Closed Door” By In Touch Ministries:

“When God closes a door, He will always open a better one.”

“Have you ever faced a closed door? It’s extremely frustrating, right? The apostle Paul knew exactly how that felt. On his second missionary journey, he repeatedly found the way blocked by the Holy Spirit. Eventually the apostle arrived in Troas with nothing but the sea in front of him and closed doors behind.

It must have seemed strange to Paul that God would prevent him from spreading the gospel. But instead of getting angry or trying to force his way into new territory, Paul waited for the Lord’s direction. The Bible doesn’t tell us how long he and Timothy lingered in Troas, but the apostle didn’t move until the Lord revealed the entrance to a new mission field.

If you’re in a period of waiting, try doing what Paul did. Look at your situation as a chance to seek God’s purpose and guidance. Ask the Lord why He has barred the way forward—perhaps the timing is wrong or there’s some unconfessed sin to deal with. Whatever the reason, it’s important to be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading—and to be ready for the door that will open.

When an opportunity is blocked, God has a reason. He is providing love and protection, even when we don’t see it. And He’s keeping His promise to work everything for our good (Romans 8:28).”

(Photo by Daniel Gregoire at Unsplash)

#‭‭acts‬ ‭16:5‭-‬10‬ #god works all things for good #seek god #god to opens doors #god loves you #bible verses #bible truths #bible scriptures #bible quotes #bible study #studying the bible #the word of god #christian devotionals #daily devotions #bible #christian blog #god #belief in god #faith in god #jesus #belief in jesus #faith in jesus #christian prayer #christian life #christian living #christian faith #christian inspiration #christian encouragement #christian motivation #christianity

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Other people: wow you really write kids accurately

Me: thanks i was one once

#lol jk jk #but like #do some people not write kids accurately?? #like how do you forget that #it was your entire backstory #also i do teach kids and volunteer in childcare every week so that might be a factor too #nah you fools #the truth is that i AM A GIANT CHILD BWAHAHA #hide and seek fic #fiction #tumblr writers #i love to write #my writing #writing kids #writing children

[philosophybits]

'Truth' and the search for truth are no trivial matter; and if a person goes about searching in too human a fashion, I'll bet he won't find anything.

Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

#philosophy #quotes #Friedrich Nietzsche #Beyond Good and Evil #seeking #truth #awareness