#suicide implied

[inkskinned]

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

#the thing i teach my preschoolers is #if something bad happens to u #and it hurts you #tell someone #and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE #UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU #it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth #it is THEIR fault for not hearing you #if you are like me and ''attention seeking'' #please #if u can #GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED. #at some point we all have to do this on our own #it has to be our own personal work #but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work #a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever #YOU DESERVE HELP. #you deserve connection #and i love you #suicide implied #tw self harm

[eremitapurpura]

"Eva is no more."

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #utopians #eva yan #daniil dankovsky #art #myart #click for better quality #just realised i forgot to post this one #'visceral or what' tag #suicide implied

[the-meme-monarch]

ive seen so many people draw that first meme w the kfc gang and i Love it i just thought it was funny with my aus/theories strange someone frisk and knight chara being Damn Nuisances for kris and being. older than them

and also thinking abt my headcanons for how frisk was able to become possessed and how that might mean for kris (their dialogue is based on this art of mine here) consider this perhaps a post-game were ssfrisk is No Longer attempting to take the SOUL back and kris and the SOUL are. amicable.

also narrator chara and ssfrisk are both From the undertale timeline but chara being dead they didn’t age. knight chara is deltarune’s chara. just to catch everyone up one Just The Hell I’m talking about

#also tweaked my damb ssfrisk design Again. sorry #i felt like their dark world fit having 2 delta runes looked too cluttered #so they have an. empty heart. :) #death mention #suicide implied #the art gallery #deltarune #strange someone frisk #knight chara #both of these things I could’ve and probably would’ve made more sense if I drew them in the light world but Whatever

[thefloatingstone]

I forgot about the "I remember me" mission and it hit me like a brick.

#Mass Effect 1 #Mass Effect #Commander Shepard #Garrus Vakarian #Urdnot Wrex #Kaidan Alenko #Talitha #I had such a hard time with this #This comic is mostly why I started doing anatomy studies because I was fucking up so bad #and putting myself into a toddler tantrum in frustration #But luckily the studies helped a bit. I need to do more to improve #Also this comic is also why I was asking if you guys would like it even if my art style doesn't gel with the subject matter well #cw #suicide implied #Mass Effect comics

[prudentfolly]

Prudence Dubois -- [ B A S I C S ]

B A S I C S

Name: Prudence Dubois

Nicknames: No. 

Age: Late Twenties

Nameday: 32nd Sun of the Umbral Moon

Race: Hyur

Gender: Cis Female

Orientation: Bisexual

Profession: Retainer & Machinist

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C T S

Hair: Dark brown hair is worn practically. Short with a hacked at fringe. She doesn’t do much with it, thinking of it as more of a hindrance than a tool to express herself with.

Eyes: Watchful, hooded, hawklike. Like burning coals with none of the heat.

Skin: Pale white, covered in freckles.

Tattoos/scars: No tattoos. A gnarly scar at her left collarbone, and follows through on her back. A smattering of other, less important scars. 

F A M I L Y

Parents: Her father is deceased, aided by gravity. She does not speak of nor to her mother who still lives in the Brume. Their names are unimportant.

Siblings: N/A. 

Grandparents: Long dead, likely insufferable judging by how their children turned out.  

In-laws and Other: No In-laws to speak of. She has many romantic entanglements that usually end messily. So far, her relationship with Ibant is the only one to have stuck.

She and Gerry, one of her Lady’s wards, have an on-again-off-again toxic yuri relationship that will eventually settle into a steady friendship or explode in an awesome and destructive display.

She respects and, to some degree, loves her Lady.

A’vyra is the nearest thing to a friend she has outside the House. Not that Prudence would ever utter such a thing aloud.

The rest of the House’s odd assortment of characters are kept at a distance. Prudence is fully aware of her prickly personality and the strength of her bite. These things serve her well; she will not dull them to appease others, so she does not let others in. For their own good, of course.

Pets: No. Prudence technically owns a Chocobo, a gift from her Lady, but Bird is not a pet. Bird is a stalwart companion.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Prudence is a capable young woman. A skilled machinist with a sharp eye it is rare for her to miss.  She knows her carbine better than the skin of her hands, knows the bark of it as her voice.

Her duties as a retainer have sent Prudence to the far corners of many maps. She’s resourceful for all the traveling, with a genuine willingness to embrace local customs. She can chameleon her way through social situations; smoothing the barbs of her generally terrible personality and avoiding unnecessary conflict on the road. 

Hobbies: Tinkering, fishing, painting. 

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: She’s so cool. 

Most Negative Trait: Everything else. 

L I K E S

Colors: Deep greens, browns and blacks and greys, a very particular shade of blue. 

Smells: Coffee, warm bread, turpentine. 

Textures: Canvas stretched taut, the cool side of the pillow, the crunch of snow beneath her boots. 

Drinks: Coffee, black. Wine, she’s not picky. 

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Almost constantly.

Drinks: Heavily. She’s a functioning alcoholic.

Drugs: Yes. Mostly for fun. 

Mount Issuance: Prudence is only insured because Bird was gifted to her via legal means. Is he the only thing she trusts enough to ride. Otherwise, she would be walking everywhere and hitching rides where she could.

Been Arrested: Several times! No charges seem to stick, even the most dangerous of heresy. 

][Tagged by:][ @this-is-ris @iron-sparrow @cindernet-explorer!][ Thank you all so much! ][

][ Tagging: ][ @ibant-gleacame & @cindernet-explorer (You have alts!) & You (: ][

#Character Sheet #Prudence Dubois #heeeeeeh #thanks for liking my mean kestrel lady <3 #I think she is so neat and it is fun to talk about her!!!! #suicide cw #suicide implied #< just in case

[askramon]

What would you do if Bullfrog was killed?

"No idea."

#suicide implied #or murder. depends. #ramon #captain laserhawk

[xochy]

#jojo #suicide implied #jic ok 🩷

[blinkpen]

One day I hope to figure out whatever Relics deal is until then it's funny not having a single grasp on what is going on with this guy other than I have ingrained into my memory roots he is the meme of "I'd fuck this guy's dead wife too"

If it pleases you, I will tell you at least one part of Whatever Relic's Deal Is, which is that his sexy dead wife's death was pret-ty bonkers. I mean you expect that with your big sad byronic old man villains? but,

it sure weren't no anime mom disease that took her out,

"It's funny, because We know what you'd wish for right now, obviously, but it's the one thing you CAN'T wish for, because you need the bone to still exist after! Though... it would be very interesting to see what happens when you... oh what was that old phrase... "Divide By Zero" on whatever metaphysical material that counts as a soul... what would that make... what would that do to her. She, who is no more.

Yes, excellent idea, Relic, We are curious now...

...It's no longer an invitation. We want it now. Go on. Do it. Break the bone. Break the bone while wishing you had her back right now! No? Okay. You can wish We keep her forever and ever after all while praying to your empty bed.

[snap]

Aw... Look who's lucky..."

#doodles #ask x #you ever wanna leave your man so bad you ollie out directly into the jaws of the awful cosmic horror he serves #just to really drive the point home #necrin hopping off the silly pills / when the fucked up god of evil is evil and fucked up #relic v2 #necrin #emeto cw #suicide implied #cannibalism cw #<- not sure if counts but for sake of people who might still go HHEURGH in a way they do not like?

[cousticks]

the ending of beast with chuuya in chains or whatever means nothing to me. that ending isn't real and it can't hurt me. instead,

it was another normal stupid day and chuuya was on another normal petty mission to fix who-knows-what. trouble at the docks, intimidating rivals encroaching on territory, you name it. whatever it was, it was far below his rank and definitely dazai's version of busywork.

of course, eventually the mess back at headquarters reaches him. it takes a while, subordinates were under a gag order to keep him out of it. everything is coming to a head by the time he gets back. he wasn't in any real rush, of course. dazai could do with a good kick to the head from that troublesome agency. but when there's no response to a phone call or three, he's a little uneasy. on edge. something is really wrong.

he sees the body falling from a distance. he could have made it, maybe, if he could have run the speed calculation. if he didn't freeze in shock. if he paid a little more attention. if, if, if,

he pulls the scarf from the corpse before anyone else makes it to the scene, before anyone else can see him there, can see his failure.

how dare the bastard manage to die and he wasn't even there to push him off.

everyone knows not to mention the dirt, nor the bloodstains, on the new boss's scarf.

#this isn't proofread #grammar means nothing to me #🧣 #bsd #bsd beast #bsd headcanons #i guess #bsd chuuya #beast chuuya #beast dazai #death mention #suicide implied #its beast dazai what do you expect #beast light novel

[localvoidcat]

"The Spider's Web" :)

alt thatcher time WHOO

That damn thing hasn't moved from its place on the ceiling yet, and Thatcher doesn't know if it's going to.

It's not like this is abnormal, by any means. Having a copy of you take residence in your home isn't normal either, he supposes, but it's hard to see it as strange when it's the way you've been living for several years.

But it's doing something different today. Ignoring it only makes it more unbearable, its head twisting at angles so dramatic it feels as though he'll hear a sickening pop soon as it watches him move, its long and spindly fingers sunken into the already stained ceiling.

Eventually, it becomes too much to avoid, and he turns his gaze directly towards the replica of himself.

"The fuck are you doing up there?" His voice hasn't been used in days - he hasn't had a need to use it.

The alternate's head moves in a motion not dissimilar from an owl, it's head rotating until it returns to its typical place. The grin upon its face only gets wider.

"Curious today, are we, Lieutenant?" It speaks in a voice too close to his for comfort. "I thought you hated speaking to me."

"I do. But you're on my ceiling."

"Am I? Maybe you've just gone insane." Thatcher grits his teeth in an attempt to hide the own fear rolling up his back.

"I can see you, dipshit. Get down or I'm getting the broom."

Its face melts into a frown, and it shifts position. "You wouldn't do that again."

"I would," he says, with too much confidence in his tone for a man staring down the thing that stole his face, "and I'll do it if you don't stop."

The frown curves upwards, not quite resembling a smile. "You're very bold. Where was that when she needed it?"

Thatcher's jaw clenches, and his teeth grind against each other painfully. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" It asks, feigned innocence dripping in malice.

"You know what I'm talking about, jackass," and the look on the alternate's face proves his point, "and I'm not doing this with you today."

"It's a touchy subject for you, is it? I understand. I'd be ashamed if I were you." Its false smile widens, revealing teeth merged with the gums below. "I will be."

"No, you won't," he says, and he forces himself to believe his own words, "and you don't know what you're talking about. Get down."

"I was there, you know," it begins, as if it's recalling some glorious tale from its youth, "when she died. It's a pity. She trusted you with her life, and you betrayed her." It cocks his head again, twisting it completely to the side. "You really are a coward, Lieutenant. Maybe if you put that gun to good use, you could join h-"

"I'm getting the broom," he shouts, walking away before it can finish its sentence.

Its face falls in a near-literal sense, and it grumbles something to itself as it moves away.

#tmc #sam writes #suicide implied #this one. i wanted to make it silly and serious at the same time #im not used to writing alt thatcher so i haven't gotten a grasp on his dialogue quite yet </3 #sorry this took so long i wanted to wait until i had the motivation. here you are

[depressed-fanperson]

It’s not an option anymore no one can die until Good Omens season 3 comes out I’ve made it illegal and also impossible congratulations you’re all immortal now. I don’t care if you have stage four cancer, it doesn’t matter if you jump off a cliff. You. Will. Not. Die. Until we have all been able to enjoy season 3 of Good Omens.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #go2 #good omens 3 #good omens season two #good omens 2 #neil gaiman #this is a threat #also a fact #don’t try it tho #you’re all immortal now #temporarily #good omens season three #suicidal #suicide implied

[tachylyte]

#actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #actuallyptsd #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #brainweird #brainweird art #suicide implied #vent aesthetic #vent post #oddcore #weirdcore #actuallymentallyill #bpd #ptsd #vent art #poetry

[eldragon-x]

Character who's the main antagonist of a game which has themes of hope and despair and how bad experiences can affect someone to the point of influencing their whole world view and the reason she's the main villain is because her experiences have caused her to isolate herself save for a select few people who went through similarly horrible things and they all believe that the world is too "rotten", hopeless and far gone and it's impossible to live happily in it and they meet a deity telling them about a power that exists and grows stronger because of the negativity of everyone in the world and will eventually cause it's destruction so they dedicate themselves to protecting this power in order to die together (rather than dying one after another) and because they believe the destruction of the world as it currently is is the only possibility for a better future. And when the personification of all life in the world calls out for help to stop it she ends up manipulating each of them into believing that said personification of life is a malicious and destructive being and after her final confrontation with a mentally ill friend group who are themselves trying to get through things together and have regained their hope for a better world and future she realizes that things can change for the better even if you make the smallest contribution and the reason she and her friends are still here is because they helped each other survive and her last action in the story are her saving the protagonists, making it possible for them to continue on to stop the destructive force, ask of them to save the world, and cheer them on among the many others who have regained hope thanks to them. In the next game, she appears as a cameo and talks about how she herself is working to make the world a more hopeful place while still keeping in touch and checking on her old friends. And the character looks like this:

#saw someone make a similar post about chatot earlier to make the point how funny pmd characters are and. yeah #I'm so mentally ill about the pink little cartoon tapir #anyway play gates #pmd #suicide implied

[the-meme-monarch]

a couple commissions and then an old doodle for @the-web-wanderer :]!

#the art gallery #psychonauts ocs #commissions #suicide implied #song in the second image is ‘marsha thankk you for the dialectics but i need you to leave’ by will wood

[lemon-ghostea]

Reset?

#guns #suicide implied #menhera #mizuiro #cybercore #glitch #anime art #vent art

[gltzgghln]

some species i designed based on lost episode creepypastas and other things I fixate on

nectarinae is a subfamily of terrestrial, eusocial mehdepulan sponges. they are found in moist, humid regions with lots of trees to stay moist. nectarine soldiers are neotonic, free-living organisms that take pollen, nectar, and juice from the plants in their habitat and bring them back to their queen, which is colonial and sessile. nectarine soldiers give nectar and pollen back to the queen and keep some in themselves. a healthy supply of nectar keeps the colonial queen healthy and consistently fertile to produce more soldiers

when soldier nectarines r threatened, they can concentrate the water in their surroundings or stomachs and shoot them out at a predator. one water shot from a nectarine can shatter bone. nectarines use magic to absorb as much water into their bodies as possible to shoot out again without dying or using up all the water around their hive

atmi, singular "atmus", are beasts from mehdepulah. they are essentially giant hooved rats. they live in the forests and eat mainly fruits and bugs. the atmus secretes magic oil from their thick skin that can induce frightening hallucinations and illusions to predators and foes. the magic in their secretions comes from the fruit they eat, which are similar to jackfruits and durians. atmi have wings for mating and threat displays, but can fly a short distance close to the ground

common atmi produce nightmare-like hallucinations. the icky-tongued atmus produces fever dream, psychedelic hallucinations

the bootpawed atmus is a species in a commensalistic relationship with the bootpawed nectarine. these nectarines use a paralyzing magic when they spit water. bootpawed nectarines produce a waxy, fatty, bitter honey. they are farmed for this nectar which can be turned into soap

bootpawed atmi can get the soap on their own by eating the nectarines. the atmus uses its fur, wings, and hallucinogenic magic to draw nectarines away from their queen and lap them up. this does not harm the nectarine colony, as the queen can produce more soldiers and helpers

their "antlers" are usually used in fights for mating, but pores close to the stem of the "antlers" secrete a mixture of hallucinogenic oil and nectarine wax that is specifically used in scentmarking

bootpawed atmi have been used in carrying wagons, carriages, and soap production in mehdepulah for millennia

Must Rosa is the name of the man on the back of the atmus. he is a very VERY old character who's role in the world of chonar and story of bright shadows is still being worked on

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #alien #speculative biology #speculative evolution #must (oc) #squid #rat #furry #sfw furry #creepypasta #red mist #bootleg spongebob #rap rat #suicide implied #concept #concept art #bright shadows #original character #original characters #original species #idk if common nectarine make honey #they probably Do #i just gave the bootpawed ones soapy honey #in reference to the scene where bootleg sb came from