#single most expensive makeup purchase of my life

[aesfocus]

I don’t talk about makeup on here but I ordered the entire Flower Know’s Moonlight Mermaid collection a while back and got everything but the perfumes today, omg its all so pretty!!!

#flower knows #makeup #misadventures with aes #bought... the whole collection #single most expensive makeup purchase of my life #but long after it goes bad I am gonna decorate with the packaging its so fuckin good

[rivetgoth]

how do you afford looking nice and living in la

Serious answer? Every single item in the outfits I post is thrifted, second hand, I've owned for 5-10+ years, DIY, a gift, borrowed, received as compensation for work (modeling, prop building, etc), or something I spent a small amount of money on (I can count on one hand the amount of things I've spent, like, over $100 on and it was all stuff like nice shoes or leather gear, the majority of "bigger" purchases tends to be like $25 band shirts at concerts or a pair of good jeans on sale, or like $10 for a new collar once every few months at the most) but then wear nearly every day until it disintegrates. Most of my outfits are creatively recycled from the same handful of clothing and accessories acquired in these ways over years of dressing like this. 😘🖤

I just try really hard to be frugal honestly so I can afford to do what I love, which is concerts and clubbing and buying the occasional cool accessory. I don't travel or go on trips frequently or ever, I don't really collect anything, I go out to eat super rarely, I've never bought a high end makeup product in my life (my favorite eyeliner comes from CVS), I do my hair at home, my biggest appearance expenses tend to be my tattoos which I save for and are a "permanent" or "one time" purchase (and so worth the cost lol), I use GoodRX for my hormones, I don't buy drinks out (you can buy a bottle of rum for less than the cost of one drink at any club you'll ever go to, bring it with you, take a shot or two in the car before an event, and it'll last you a few weeks at least— you've saved a couple hundred by the end of the month on alcohol alone), I shop at ALDI and Food 4 Less for groceries, I stick to very simple, barebones skincare and haircare routines, and I split cost of living expenses with my partner. XX

[cyclonicflame]

Logistics of building a real life Herobrine shrine: a ramble by an idiot at 2:30am with insomnia.

(Author's Note: I will be using the original shrine with the most materials, not the pillar totem from the later mods, though what I say in this could mostly be applied to that system too.)

Realistically speaking, building a real life sized version of the Herobrine summoning shrine would be a very expensive and time consuming endeavor, not to mention possible working, transport, customs, and IRS costs. But I'll mostly be focusing on the physical logistics of actually building the thing.

Layer 1:

1x Meter Cube of moss covered cobblestone: Arguably, one of the easier things to obtain on this list. First of all, you would need to get enough stone to stick together into a meter cube (and keep it glued together). Then you would need to cover it in moss. Thankfully, there are online tutorials on moss graffiti, so go wild.

8x Meter Cubes of Solid Gold. At first I thought this was going to be a question of "would there be enough gold in the world of make 8 19.3 tonne blocks of solid gold?" But as it turns out, there's far more in the world's gold reserves than I thought there was. So if you could somehow afford to purchase and/or borrow from one of the top five gold reserves in the world (Being U.S, Germany, Italy, France, and/or Russia) and have a method of transporting 154.4 tonnes of gold to a single location, all the while making sure that they can be precisely placed around the moss covered stone, you should be good.

Layer 2:

4x Redstone torches. Now, I have to take some liberates with these next two items as both redstone torches (and netherrack) don't exist in the real world, so I have to come up with as close to substitutes as possible.

Now, you could argue that I could just buy 4 officially licensed redstone torches off of whatever website, but am I really just going to pick the boring option when it comes to a late night rambling about how to build a shrine to a fictional block man? No.

For people who've never played the education edition of Minecraft, there is a block that reduces things down to their base elements, appropriately named the Material Reducer. Throwing Redstone Ore in there produces a result of carbon, uranium, and a third unknown element (which, for the sake of this post, I'll be ignoring.)

Now, for the sake of my sanity I am NOT going so far down the route of uranium to the point of "could you reasonably purchase that much uranium without being put on a list." But red/orange colored uranium glass is a thing that exists. I feel like to call something a "realistic redstone torch" it has to have three qualifying factors to it. 1: It's as close to color and material makeup as I can get, 2: It needs to be, in some way, capable of running an electrical current, and 3: It needs to be able to produce light, preferably at a low level, but bright enough to be visible at night.

Now, if you ran insulated wires though a nice big chunk of wood, place a bulb at the top, cover the bulb with a red/orange uranium glass cover, and successfully ran a current to light the bulb (and make 4 of them) I feel like that qualifies close enough to a redstone torch to count for making a shrine.

1x meter cube of "Netherrack." Alright, out of all the things on this list, this was the most obnoxious thing to try and logic up. So forgive me if, despite all of the "work" I've put into this, my solution seems less than satisfying (as I'm now also running off of personal headcannon for this one.)

This one starts with what exactly netherrack could be. Now, the first inclination I had was "oh, it's a stone type block," because it requires a pickaxe to obtain the block. Hell, it even says on the wiki "frail stone block." But the more I looked at it, the more it seems like it wasn't the case.

First thing is the sounds it makes. They seem awfully… Wet? For a stone block that's supposedly in the middle of the hottest place known to man. Then there comes an inherent problem with the nether before the 1.16 update which was "how was there air in the nether?" It's not people were just walking in there and suffocating to death. There had to be *something producing enough breathable air to be able to walk around in there (and no, I'm not counting nether wart grown in fortresses because even if you got rid of it all, you'd still be able to breath.)

The last two things I want to mention is 1: The abysmally low blast resistance of netherrack. It has an explosion resistance roughly equivalent to literal glass. 2: People don't just take damage from standing on netherrack in the nether, so it's not hot enough (unlike magma blocks) to even burn bare feet, even close to lakes of lava.

What I'm getting at (at least, for the sake of this post) is that netherrack is less of a stone and more of either very fast growing, or very lava resistant plant. It has (in my mind at least) very similar properties to densely packed leaves or vines judging from the breaking sounds/flammability.

So that comes to the question; is there a plant that is relatively fast growing, is red in color and is reasonably flammable? The answer is: sort of. There is a genus of plants called Cytisus (also called Broom) that mostly comes in varieties of gold/yellow. There is a variety referred to as "Cytisus x Praecox 'Hollandia'" which is a red color (though you could argue is pink.)

If you could grow the plants into a block shape using shaping throughout the growing process OR take cuttings and densely pack them into a cubic meter, you have the closest you're going to get to a netherrack block. Stack that on top of your gold surrounded block of moss covered stone with the makeshift torches on each side of the plant cube and you've got yourself an unlit shrine.

So the take away from this post? I'm willing to try and logic way too many things for a Tumblr post about building an irl shrine to a creepypasta blockman. Also that I need to go to bed before midnight.

#herobrine #minecraft #cy at night #I probably got something wrong #long post

[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Preview/Chapter 1

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life. 

Word count: 2k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Master list

“Looking good tonight Candy.” 

You rolled your eyes, frowning.

“Thanks Dave.”

Having your manager check you out every time you clocked in was one of the less fun parts of your job.  

You didn’t clock in to make any kind of hourly pay, and your real name was definitely not Candy. As a dancer at a gentleman's club you made your money on a pole and in private lap dance rooms, but it’s whatever pays the bills, and as a college student being able to make over a thousand dollars a week working just two nights was worth it. 

After checking in, you went back to the dressing room to check your makeup and outfit one last time and grab your money bag before heading back out to get your night started.  

Saturday nights used to not be your favorite, but they had been for a few months now because of one customer. The first night you met him, his friends had dragged him in after getting dumped to cheer him up. When you sat down with the nine of them you already knew it would be a good night, judging by the *quite* expensive VIP booth they’d bought. 

Your first impression of him wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, having met plenty of relatively good looking guys while working at the club and being quite used to groups like them doing birthdays or bachelor parties.

They were a fun group, and you found yourself actually having fun as they bought you rounds of drinks and perched you on their newly single friends lap. 

That night his friends bought him a private room with you, and he’d been back to see you again every Saturday night since.  

Baekhyun always arrived pretty early in the evening so you sat yourself down at the bar and made yourself look busy while you waited for him to show up. Tonight you were wearing a matching lace lingerie set along with a new pair of clear heels, and your hair straight down your back. With your nails done and your favorite perfume on to top it all off, you felt sexy as hell. On weeknights you didn’t try as hard, but on days he would be there you always made sure to put in a little extra effort to look as nice as possible. You told yourself it was just because he payed you so much, so you wanted to look your best. But you’d have been lying to yourself if you didn’t admit that you wanted to impress him. Baekhyun, especially compared to other customers, was quite attractive. Having him fawn over you and compliment you always made you feel good. 

You feel a tap on your shoulder followed by a “hey” and turn around to see Baekhyun grinning back at you. 

“Hi Baekhyun” you smile back, getting up and giving him a small hug. 

“Hi Candy.”

Standing in 8 inch stripper heels you’re slightly taller than Baekhyun, and you find his usual glasses + hoodie + cargo pants combo endearing. Despite being somewhere around 30 and therefore significantly older than you, you can’t help but find him cute, adorable even. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks, already knowing your answer.

“Of course, you know what I like” you say, giving him smirk and running one perfectly manicured hand over his shoulder, and down his toned chest.

The whole time you touched him his eyes were fixated on yours, looking at you with an intensity you weren’t used to, something you’d noticed was unique to him compared to the other men you met there.

“Your outfit tonight it.. um..” he says, eyes now looking you up and down, almost drooling. “ I like it.” 

 It was the same thing every time he’d come see you. He’d buy two beers, one for him and one for you, and shorty after pay you $800 for an hour together in a private dance room. For any other guy it would be $1000, but he didn’t need to know that.

You made your way up the stairs towards the area of the club with the private dance rooms hand in hand, leading him behind you to give him the best view.

“Do you want me to dance for you today or do you just wanna talk?” You asked as you entered the room and took your top off, standing in front of him as he sat down on the couch. Usually you would dance for him for a few songs and spend the rest of the time sitting on his lap listening to him talk about whatever it might be that week but some days he just wanted your company and nothing more. 

“Just for this song, I really like this song.” He said looking up at you with big eyes. So, you got to work doing your usual thing.

Getting into the rhythm of the music, you started swaying your body and slowly leaning towards him.

This time both of your hands find purchase on his chest and you move your body in a wave, giving him the full close up view of your bare chest.

As you lean back up you notice he’s slumped deeper into the couch and biting his lip, already thoroughly turned on.

“Holy shit” he muttered to himself, watching your nearly naked form sway in front of him.

The way he looked at your body was different too. Most men looked at you like nothing more than a piece of meat, something to use for pleasure and nothing more. Not that you minded, as long as you got your money, but the way Baekhyun looked at you as you danced for him was almost like someone observing a piece of art. 

You rotated your body until you’re facing away from him, and bent down slowly, the curves of your ass on full display to him, making it jiggle a bit before bending back up and lowering yourself onto his lap.

“God you’re something else, I wish I could touch you.”

You noticed him sit on his hands, because of course he wasn’t actually allowed to touch you, you were only allowed to touch him.

Once you were situated on his lap, you started moving your hips to the music, causing his head to hit the back of the couch.

As usual, you could feel his dick straining against his pants as you rolled your hips over him.

“Fuck” you heard him whisper.

You knew how much he was holding himself back by the way he was sweating and panting. He was one of the few costumers who had never once tried to touch you, not even a little bit. Which you appreciated, but right now you felt yourself almost wanting him to, knowing that his reaction alone would be worth it for you to see.

So against your better judgement, and with the hope of a little extra money, you turn around, knees straddling his right thigh, and put your arms on each of his shoulders. You play with the hair at the base of his neck and whisper in his ear

“If you really want to, you can touch.”

You almost feel bad when you notice his entire body go rigid beneath you, eyes wide at your words.

“Are you serious?”

“I mean nothing too invasive please, but I don’t mind if you want to caress me here and there” you respond with a smile.

“Okay”

You see him swallow as you lowered yourself onto his lap again, this time feeling his hands make contact with the bare skin of your waist.

As you let your hips move with the music, his hands slowly wandered across your waist, hips, and sides. His hands on you were surprisingly warm, soft, and gentle. Under his gaze and in his hands you felt like your body wasn’t just being used for shallow, fleeting pleasure. You felt appreciated.

And this was exactly the problem with Baekhyun.

You knew that you liked him too much, more than you should like one of your customers. You shouldn’t be thinking about how soft and pretty his hands are as they make their way across the skin of your thighs.

“You’re so beautiful. Your skin is so soft.”

You smile, now facing him once again as you sit with your knees on either side of his leg. You feel his words in the pit of your stomach and your hands caress his shoulders and chest, only now with his hands gently placed on your hips.

A few body rolls later and the song was over, so you shifted your weight onto one of his legs, sitting down on his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and leaning into the couch.

“You’re gonna completely ruin me one day” he breathed out, making you giggle. “Why’d you let me do that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I could tell how much you held back and most guys try to touch me anyway so..”

“They just do it anyway?” His eyes narrowed.

“Yeah well I tell them not to and usually it’s fine after that”

You could sense his discomfort with what you’d just said, looking genuinely agitated.

“Yeah well those guys aren’t worth your time no matter how much they’re paying” he muttered so quietly you almost didn’t hear.

“This is my job Baekhyun, there’s bad customers in every job” you respond timidly.

He turned to look you in the eyes again, this time more intensely due to the proximity of you sitting on his lap.

“Do you like working here?”

“Please don’t ask me that.”

“You know you don’t have to, I can take care of you.”

With the way his eyes bore into yours and he gripped your thigh, you knew he was serious. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t tempted by his words.

Nonetheless you got up from his lap and sat next to him, bodies no longer touching.

“You know that’s not how this works Baekhyun.” You cross your arms over your bare chest, feeling like you needed to hide.

You look down, not wanting to look at him as you continue.

“It’s my job to make you feel good and give you something nice to look at but that’s all it is. My job. I’m sorry.”

He knew you were right. He knew because despite coming to see you every week for a few months now, he knew nothing about you. You wouldn’t tell him any details about your personal life, hell he didn’t even know your real name.

He knew he was stupid to have let himself become so completely fucked over a girl who wouldn’t even tell him her name.

“It’s okay, I understand, I’m sorry if that was too far”

You look at him again, giving him a soft smile.

“How was your week?” You ask, trying to change the subject.

You soon find yourself back on his lap as he starts talking to you about his week, but you couldn’t help feeling guilty. You could tell what Baekhyun felt for you was more than just sexual attraction, and yet he knew nothing about you. He’d asked you general things and you’d told him you were college student, which was true, but you’d lied about which college you attended. He asked about what you were studying and you’d lied about that too, quickly changing the topic back to him and his life.

Every time he tried to get to know the real you, you pushed him away, and you knew he could tell.

It fell silent for a moment, until Baekhyun spoke up.

“This is for touching you” he said as he dug in his pocket before pulling out three hundred dollar bills and putting them in the waistband of your thong.

He didn’t look at you as he gave you the money. It wasn’t until he was done that he grabbed your hand, and gave you another intense look.

“Please, can I please just know your name?” He asked.

With you sitting on his lap, faces close together you saw the desperation in his eyes. He’d spent a decent amount of time with you now and you knew how badly he wanted to know more about you, how much he wanted to be able to get to know the real you.

The way he looked up at you, with that look in his eyes, you knew you couldn’t tell him no.

You sighed.

“Okay. I’m y/n.”

~

Shorty after your hour together was up, Baekhyun went home and so did you. Counting your money was easy that night; just the eleven hundred dollar bills he’d given you. 

As you took your makeup off and got ready to finally sleep you couldn’t help but feel strange about Baekhyun knowing your real name. Despite how nice he smelled, how cute he was, and how kind, generous, and funny, and how you liked spending time with him more than any other customer, that’s still exactly what he was. A customer. Someone who walked into a club looking to pay hot girls in exchange for their attention. But at that point Baekhyun was your friend too. He’d been coming to see you for the whole summer, and you really did enjoy talking to him. 

Is it okay for him to actually get to know you? Is it okay for you to want him to? 

Next Chapter

A/N: Hello! This felt pretty short which is why it’s kind of a preview/first chapter but please tell me what you think :) and let me know if anyone wants to be tagged for the next chapter!

#baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo smut #baekhyun fic #exo fic

[ghostofstudentspast]

Obligatory (part 3)

Series masterlist

Warnings: a panic attack in the first half.

I am BACK! I finished this baby up this morning and while I won’t be posting as frequently anymore because of college I’ll still be posting/finishing up all my wips!

For the first time in your life, you would have given anything to stay at Hogwarts during the Holidays. Your house had lost its warmth and instead every shadow started to look like a ghost to you. Your father only left his study for dinner, where the three of you sat in uncomfortable silence as knives and forks scraped fine china. Your mother seemed light years away. She could often be found cleaning things unnecessarily, staring off into the distance and only ever casting you soft smiles that didn’t reach her eyes.

You could feel how the weight had shifted in the Pureblood community. Everyone was on edge and keeping secrets from each other. Christmas was a lackluster event in your house this year. Your mother had insisted on a tree and family dinner, but things felt strained. Not at all like the laughter filled Christmases you remembered growing up. Your mother had purchased an absurd number of expensive gifts, as if that would make up for the lack of holiday spirit. Clothes and jewelry and expensive quills littered the dresser in your bedroom and you didn’t want to touch a single item.

“Darling?” Your mother’s voice broke through your absent thoughts. “We’re expected at Malfoy manor in thirty, are you ready?”

You were perched on the edge of your bed, hands clasped in your lap to stop them from picking at the dark red material of your dress. You were vaguely aware of your mother coming to sit next to you on the bed and taking your hand in her own. Her fingers were warm and helped pull you back down to earth.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t think-“she took a breath and didn’t continue.

All you could do was nod numbly as her thumb stroked the back of your hand. You hadn’t noticed your hand had been shaking until now. Raising your head to meet your mother’s gaze you saw how red her eyes were, how the purple bags were still prominent despite the makeup covering them, how she had faint tear tracks running down her cheeks.

“I know.” Your voice cracked as you nodded again, this time stronger.

“He’s going to be there tonight.” There was no need to say much more, her eyes betraying the fear that could never be voiced out loud.

“I’ll be good,” you offered her a lifeless smile, “I promise.”

The terrifying thought of seeing the Dark Lord in person hung over you all the way to Malfoy Manor. Stepping into the cold atmosphere of the ballroom did nothing to loosen the knot in your chest. Where once the parties thrown here had been lively, full of music and wine and chatter, now it was filled with hushed whispers and something stronger than wine.

“Can we talk?” Draco had appeared at your side like a shadow.

“No.” You didn’t meet his eyes and made to step away from him when a hush fell over the room.

There he stood, dark robes and snake slithering around his feet. The Dark Lord.

“My children,” his voice was high and sharp, “I’m so happy to see so many of you here tonight, proving once again who is loyal to our cause.” you doubted he had ever been happy in his existence.

As if he’d heard you speak his eyes locked on yours. A horrendous red colour, eyes like a snake, bored into your very existence. Your skin crawled and you felt like you might throw up at any moment.

“And our lovely bride and groom to be,” a smile creeped its way onto his face. It was less a smile and more a grimace. “The first in the new generation to follow in their parents’ footsteps. Wise.”

His eyes bored into yours and you could feel his magic pouring into your head. Pushing through your thoughts forcefully. Your heart rate sped up and your breathing hitched. The only thing that reminded you where you were was Draco’s hand resting on your lower back. You pushed all of your thoughts towards the back of your mind and focused on his finger tapping ever so slightly against you. You shot a glance at him and thought you saw his head shake the tiniest bit.

Legillimency, you could feel the Dark Lord prying at your memories. You knew he couldn’t go there, couldn’t know how disgusted he made you feel. You clenched your teeth and thought about the contract, you thought about marrying Draco, pushed the idea of loyalty forward with bile rising in your stomach.

“Continue with your festivities,” he finally broke eye contact and turned his eerie smile to the other guests as your shoulders drooped.

You felt exhausted. Like someone had just ran a bulldozer over your brain. He’d walked through your mind, through your thoughts. You’d never felt more exposed then at that moment.

“Excuse me,” you muttered to Malfoy and turned on your heel to slip away through the crowd of people.

Walking faster than normal you tried not to break into a run as your breathing became unsteady and panicked. You threw yourself into the large bathroom down the hall and threw the door shut before sliding onto the floor and letting out a painful sob.

Tears were streaming from your eyes as you desperately tried to control your breathing. He’d violated your mind. What if he’d seen something dangerous, you’d be endangering not only yourself but your family and friends. You sobbed pathetically, drawing your knees up to your chest and moving into the farthest corner of the room, away from the door. A soft knock at the door only added to the panic filling your veins. You shook your head and covered your ears, unable to breathe. Unable to tell them to leave you alone. Not even your sobs were audible anymore as you fought with your thoughts.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, he’s gone.” the voice was soft and kind and broke through your thoughts. You shook your head and kept your eyes squeezed shut. “Breathe Y/N. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” the voice repeated until you did what it said. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Your breathing was shaky and didn’t quite fill your lungs but slowly you managed to control your air flow. Tears still running down your face and falling into your lap you uncovered your ears and opened your eyes. Across from you sat the last person you would want to see you like this.

“You’re okay.” Draco spoke softer than you’d ever heard him speak. You nodded, and he offered you a sympathetic smile. It wasn’t pity, instead it held understanding. “I get them too.” He confided without meeting your eyes.

“It’s new for me,” your voice was hoarse and sounded foreign to your ears. He nodded in understanding as you closed your eyes again, rubbing them with the palm of your hands, makeup smudged across your cheeks.

When you opened your eyes again Draco was gone just as quickly as he’d came in. The bathroom floor felt just a bit colder as you dropped your head back against the wall.

When you arrived back at Hogwarts the following week Draco made sure to give you space. You were grateful he hadn’t brought up the Christmas incident again and from the lack of pity in his friend’s eyes, you didn’t think he’d told them either. You did notice that he spent more time looking at you these days. He always wore an unreadable expression and his eyes still held a sharp calculating look but this time he was observing you.

It took a few days of him watching you for you to get fed up and resolve to talk to him. This is why you were currently following him out of the potions classroom and down the hall farther into the dungeons. He stopped about halfway to the Slytherin common room and rounded on you, arms cross and one blond eyebrow raised.

“Stalking me Y/L/N?” his lips almost quirked up into a smirk.

“Christmas, you said you wanted to talk to me,” you raised your chin, so you could look down your nose at him, “so talk.” If you kept up your snooty pureblood persona around him, it was easier to pretend he hadn’t seen the most vulnerable side of you.

“Right,” he let out a short laugh and shook his head, “I was going to tell you that I found something interesting in the Manor library over the break. It’s definitely not something we want to try as a first option but if you’re this desperate,” he dug through his bag and fished out an old leather-bound spell book.

“You found something to break the contract?” Your demeanor perked up and your eyes zeroed in on the book in his hands.

“Maybe,” his voice held an unspoken warning, “again, this is very much a desperate man’s last resort. Or in this case desperate woman.” He added seeing you fidget with your sleeves as he held out the book. “Don’t try anything without me.”

“Yeah, no of course not.” You snatched the book from his hand and immediately opened it to where Draco had folded the corner of a page. Skimming the title quickly you found your stomach rolling in unease, “This is blood magic.” You looked up at him with a frown.

“Yeah, which is why I don’t have high hopes for two underage wizards working it out safely.” He grimaced, “read it for yourself.” He motioned towards the book and turned to keep walking to the common room.

“No wait, Malfoy,” you chased him, still holding the book open to the folded page.

“I have bigger fish to fry Y/L/N,” he kept walking, his long strides taking him much faster than yours, “if you’re desperate enough to try blood magic, you know where to find me.” He sighed and left you standing by yourself clutching the book between your hands like your life depended on it.

Finding a free spot on a windowsill near the common room you began to read. The cold frost on the window had your wrapping your robed around you tightly as your eyes flicked between the pages. Blood sacrifice for magical contracts. No. Blood bonds and magical contracts. Also no. Breaking magical contracts with blood. Ah, that’s the one.

Magical contracts are rarely breakable. The witches and wizards who enter in a magic bound contract will be tied by said contract for the remainder of their lives. The only way to exit out of such a vow is for either party to pass on (ghosts cannot be held to a magical contract).

“I don’t want to kill him,” you rolled your eyes and kept reading.

It is therefore possible to trick the magic bond by imitating death. First, one or both parties must provide a vile of blood to be spilled on the original document. Second, one or both parties must take a dose of Draught of Living Death (instructions on pg. 66) and a half dose of calming draught (instructions on pg. 80) note; the users blood must be infused with both potions. These two potions will bring the user into a two-day long death-like state. This along with spilled blood on paper will render the contract useless as ‘one party will have passed on’ very briefly.

WARNING: taking too much of these potions or using too much blood can result in irreversible damage including but not limited to; loss of memory, narcolepsy, weakened magic, blood clots, death, etc.

You closed the book and stared at the cover as you tried to process what you’d just read. Basically, there was a very slim chance that you’d be able to pull this off and a very large shot at accidentally inflicting lifelong damage. Or death.Unfortunately, in all of your time spent researching, this was the only viable option you had come across.

How much are you willing to risk to break this contract?

Series Taglist: @xkonpinkx @detroitobsessed @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @pointlesscoconut @irlkell @thehumanistsdiary @mo-onstarrs @summer-writes @aplaintart @jjjmaybank

#Draco malfoy #Draco x reader #Draco Malfoy x reader #harry potter #hp fanfic #hp writing #Harry Potter au #obligatory series #Obligatory #Draco Malfoy writing #Draco series #hogwarts #fanfiction #writing

[spidernerdsblog]

Love Is The Biggest Spell : Chapter Five

A/N : Chapter five is here. This chapter should have been posted on Halloween lol but never mind. Hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Warlock Tom Holland x half mortal reader

Summary : Witches are forbidden to fall in love with mortals. But what if your long lost love returns to you as a mortal, can you defy your heart? Any spell any magic seems useless in front of the magic of love. Let’s join our lovers in their magical conquest beyond life and death as they fight for their love unravelling dark mysteries of the past along their way.

Warnings : mild language, witchy stuff.

Mini Playlist : Can't help falling in love with you

After you had your breakfast Tom drove you to college. You were walking to your classroom. 

"Y/N!" You heard the voice you despise the most right now call out to you. You didn't look back and quickened your pace. 

"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N hey wait please." Cole ran to you grasping your wrist. 

"Leave my hand, Cole!" You yanked your hand away from him. 

"Y/N just listen to me for once I can explain." he pleaded. 

"What more do you have to explain, Cole? That you were making out with me but magically it turned out to be someone else."

"Yeah exactly." 

"Cole can you just stop now. I'm not going to judge your life choices but I hope you enjoyed sucking her mouth." 

"Y/N please you can't do this to me."

"Umm mate I think Y/N made it quite clear that she doesn't want to talk to you." Tom intervened. 

"Listen dude let's just not pretend that this isn't the best day of your life. So please stay out of this"

"Cole! You can’t talk to him like that.” 

"A guy showed you a little affection for one night and now he is the good guy. So typical of you Y/N." you were literally hurt by his words.

"You know what Cole? I was actually thinking of forgiving your not so sorry ass but now I'm so over that thought, we are done for good Cole!"

"C'mon Tom let's go." You stormed off dragging Tom with you by his wrist to the library. 

You slumped down on the seat as Tom took the opposite seat to you 

"I can't believe Cole would say that! I'm an attention seeker? Seriously?!" You seethed. 

"How did you guys even fall in love?" Tom asked out of courtesy though he had no interest in knowing that. 

"You know childhood best friends it was like we owed to date each other." you shrugged.

"Maybe we can do something to divert your attention?" 

"And what is that?" 

"Finish our assignment I guess that's still pending." 

"Seriously?" you gave a disinterested look. 

"What? That is much better than talking about your douchebag boyfriend, ex boyfriend" 

"Yeah maybe some witchy stuff can help keep me distracted." you walked to the shelves and pulled out some books and placed them on the desk with a loud thud. You picked up a book and were turning over some pages in a book and stumbled upon something as you frowned. 

"What’s Dark Baptism?" 

"Huh oh it's a sort of ceremony. The Dark Baptism is the most sacred, unholy sacrament the witches practiced for centuries. The oldest of their rites. A novice witch signs his or her name in the Book of the Beast, and gives the Dark Lord dominion over their soul and in exchange he gives them unlimited power and eternal youth." Tom explained. 

"Huh what’s the use of such powers if I have to give up my freedom of will?" you scoffed. 

"It’s the only one of several possible interpretations, see like all religions have symbolic gestures and demand sacrifices right?" 

"Signing the Book of the Beast is more like a pledge to abide by the devil's commandments." 

"But the Dark Lord aka Satan is the embodiment of evil." You state. Tom corrects you immediately. 

"As per texts he is the embodiment of free will and that he goes beyond the mere concepts of good and evil and the infernal punishment of the "False God"."

"So what about Hell?" you ask.

"If you accept the Dark Lord's gifts, then you won't die for a long time and Hell is for mortals. In exchange for their service and devotion, witches are exempt from the eternal flames of damnation." Tom explains. 

"That's some crazy ass bullshit." You laugh it off. 

"But you seem to have quite in-depth knowledge about these things. Do you happen to practice witchcraft in secret?" you narrowed your eyes. 

"Maybe, who knows" he shrugs." Why are you so invested in knowing all this?" he counter questioned you. 

"Nothing just general curiosity that's it." You shrug. 

"General curiosity or is it about the visions or nightmares whatever you have." Tom smirked.

"Who-who told you.." You stutter. 

"Jane told Harrison and he told me."

"Those are just some stupid dreams that's all."

"Or may be not, maybe you are a psychic or a witch "

“Ha ha very funny.”

"Okay leave all that." Tom cleared his throat. 

"Hey I know it would be really inappropriate for me to ask you. You know you can totally say no."

''Hey it's okay we are friends now c'mon spill it out." you held his hand reassuringly.

"Umm my mother seems to have liked you a lot the day you stopped by our house and wants me to invite you to our Halloween party. It's kind of a spooky themed business gala. "

"Your mother likes me or you?" you narrowed your eyes with a sly smirk.

"No I swear my mom told me to invite you." Tom flustered.

"Okay then tell your mom that I would love to go."

"Oh thanks." Tom’s eyes lit up like a child.

"And by the way if you want me to be your date just ask." You winked. 

"It's - it's nothing like that." he stuttered. 

"Relax anyways I'm single now." you giggled.

"So what are you divs doing?" Harrison dropped in between your conversation.

"Nothing just getting ready for my dark baptism." You chuckled though Harrison gave a mortified look as he exchanged glances with Tom. Who shook his head dismissively to let him know he hasn't said anything. 

“Uh okay..have you seen Jane anywhere?" 

"Why do you also need some attention?" You joked lazily placing a hand on Harrison's shoulder and instantly backed off with a light gasp. 

"You okay?" Harrison asked looking at your horrified expression.

"Yeah, yeah I'm-I’m  fine." you stammered blinking your eyes.

"I'll go and find Jane." You walked away huskily. 

…….........

Agatha and Zendaya visited a farm to purchase a black goat to be used for sacrifice during your dark baptism in the woods. 

"What is on your mind mother? A few days ago you wanted that half breed dead but now you are here arranging for her dark baptism. I don't understand any of this."

"Well you three failed in your task and I'm grateful to Satan for that this time because I recently found out she is the key to perform the spell by which our coven will gain infinite powers."

"What spell?"

"For now you don't need to know more than this. Just remember that girl needs to be protected."

…………..

It's 31st of October and you are officially 25. You were at the cafe as Jane came in all bubbly and chirpy.

“Happy Birthday babe!!!” Jane exclaimed, giving you a tight hug.

“Thank you babe.” Tom and Harrison dropped in after sometime.

“Isn’t it your birthday day? Why the hell are you working today?”. 

“Because it’s my birthday.”

"Well somebody has got the whole concept of birthday wrong." tom quipped.

“Here we brought something for you.” He placed a cake box on the table.

“Jane dear can you arrange this for us please.” Harrison asked her sweetly.

“Of Course will.”

“Seriously guys you didn’t have to do this.” Jane was quick to arrange the cake on a tray with some candles and placed it in front of you. You blow out the candles as they sing for you.

“Thank you so much guys.” your heart swelled in happiness.

“We would have loved to stay but we have another party to arrange so see you girls in the evening.” Harrison said.

“I'll pick you up at seven.” Tom informed you softly.

“Will be waiting.” You smiled. After they left you turned to Jane. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah what?" 

"What do you know about Harrison? Apart from he's a sex God. His family and life." you snickered.

"Umm they are rich, business partners with the Hollands. Loves his mom and sister a lot. Why?" 

"Nothing, you are my best friend just don't want you to fall for the wrong guy. I finally learnt my lesson. Heh." You chuckled slowly. 

“Don’t worry babe if he does something bad I’ll give you the privilege of kicking his ass.” She laughed and went to the back of the shop. 

Now how will you tell her that when you touched him you had one of your stupid visions. You saw blood, pentacles, human skulls, it felt so inauspicious the darkness engulfing you. Your eyes went to the blown out birthday candles and you suddenly remembered about the night where the candle caught fire on it’s own. Then you recalled Tom saying that you may be psychic and you suddenly got the idea of testing the fact.

"This is all a hoax, I'm not psychic nor a witch. I was drunk and was seeing things." you said to yourself and took a deep breath.

"Well here goes to nothing." You focused on them but nothing happened. 

"Huh, definitely a hoax" you blew out your cheeks and turned to do your work. But when you turned around again to your surprise each and every candle was lit up magically. You exhaled deeply, frowning.

……………

Reaching home you went to your room and saw a big gift box kept on your bed. You took the lid off the box to find an expensive black dress with a note. 

Happy Birthday Y/N. Will be really happy if you wear this tonight.  Love T. H

You smiled and held out the dress in front of you admiring it in the full length mirror in your room, it was the most exquisite thing you have ever seen. The soft silky fabric with intricate lace work was literal work of art. You changed into the dress and decided to let your hair down for tonight with minimal jewelry and makeup. 

Meanwhile Tom and Harrison were getting ready in their finest tux for the gala and your baptism. 

"You really gifted her the wedding dress." 

"Well it's an important night for her she will be turning into a complete witch and hopefully her memories will come back after that." Tom said, fixing his cufflinks. 

"You ready son?" Nikki walked into his room. 

"Yes mother." Nikki could see in his eyes that something was bothering him. 

"Don't worry I talked to your father and I will be presenting your dear Y/N for her baptism." Tom's eyes lit up hearing the news. It's usually the mother who presents her child for the baptism but your mother will not be able to attend it so the whole thing of who will be presenting you was bugging him for a while. And hearing that his mother is going to do that relieved him. 

"Really mother! Thank you so much." 

"I’m really happy that you’re finally going to be happy in your life son." 

Tom was there to pick you up sharp at 7. You stepped out of your house as you saw him waiting for you leaning against his car. He couldn't take his eyes off you. You literally looked like an angel he thought.

"You look gorgeous, love."

"Thank you, you look surprisingly dapper too." 

"Thank you." 

"But you didn't have to buy me such an expensive dress. The whole night now I will be so self conscious of not ruining the dress."

"I will buy you a new one don't worry."

"Ha ha not happening again. Now let’s go"

He opened the door of the car for you as you sat inside the car. You reached his place in an hour and stepped out of the car holding his hand as he led you inside. 

You walked into the ballroom and your breath was caught at the grandeur. You’d never been in a space that made you feel so small–or so plain. Crystal chandeliers spiraled down from the arching sky-blue ceiling, illuminating the glimmering golden walls and a floor so polished it looked like an iced-over lake. And it wasn’t just the ballroom–the women sparkled like a box of jewels, shades of emerald and ruby and amethyst swirling before you, their low chatter accompanying wafts of rose and hyacinth and jasmine.

"Whoa dude am I supposed to be a part of this gala? I mean just look at all the people around." you gave out a nervous laugh.

"You were always supposed to be here Y/N."

You are immediately greeted by Jane and Harrison.

“Hey you made it!” Jane hugged you and your dress caught her eyes.

“Damn girl now that’s a one of a kind ball gown.” She giggled as you blushed.

“Only for the one of a kind girl.” Tom snickered.

You, Tom, Harrison and Jane then hit the dance floor, slow music playing.

Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help falling in love with you

You clasped on to his hand placing another hand on his shoulder blade as he did the same. You began moving back and forth waltzing around the ballroom. Spinning and circles and shuffling your feet to the slow, rhythmic music. It was paradise, but even more so when your eyes met.

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you

His eyes were chocolate brown, which made your knees buckle and your lips quiver. He narrowed his eyes slightly and let out a small chuckle. Your dress was getting in the way and your heels were making you clumsy or you were actually clumsy around him. He noticed your discomfort and changed his stance making it easier for you to follow. His grip tightened on your hand giving it a comforting squeeze making your heart skip a beat.

Like a river flows Surely to the sea Darling, so it goes

You swayed to the music, bodies so close, his hand still grasping yours. This was perfect as if time stood still, your gaze filled with burning desires as he looked down to your slightly parted lips. Tom was trying to get a read on you as you looked at you longingly. You could feel your cheeks burning and you knew you're blushing on the outside which only made his smile grow wider.

Some things are meant to be So take my hand Take my whole life, too For I can't help falling in love with you For I can't help falling in love with you

He dropped your hand but before you could frown he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled your body even more closer. His kind, smiling face met yours as you felt his sweet, warm breath fanning your face. Your breath hitched all that brooding, pining and longing stares just for this magical moment. Out of instinct you tilted your face a little, closing your eyes. But instead Tom knelt down to your ear  and whispered.

“Parere mandatis meis.” You opened your eyes with a vacant gaze as if someone robbed you of your emotions and reasoning. You stood there like a living statue. 

"Y/N now listen to me carefully you are going to do whatever I say okay?" 

"Yes." You nodded in a mechanical fashion. Agatha walked towards you.

"Is she ready?" 

"Yes Lady Layman”

"Good then bring her to the altar." 

“Was the hypnosis necessary?”

“You got a better idea to make your non believer half witch willingly go through her baptism?” Agatha quipped.

“No” He answered lowly.

“Then bring her outside fast midnight is approaching, the blood moon will appear soon.” She ordered.

The party moves outside, where the moon is at its fullest and begins to turn red. With midnight approaching, everyone rushes off into the woods. Tom took you to a gate burning with blue flames, you pass through the blue flames unharmed and arrive at your baptism, where the Holland's, Osterfield's, Layman's, and many other important delegates are in attendance. 

"All this grandeur for a half breed's baptism, how pathetic is that?" Zendaya quipped, rolling her eyes. 

The priest assigned for your baptism arrived at the altar.

"Welcome daughter of Night" 

"Who presents this girl for unholy baptism?" He reckons.

"I do." Nikki states. 

"We are gathered here in these woods in the presence of our dark lord, with all the souls, the living and the dead, of our coven

the most unholy church of dark." He addresses. 

"Kneel child." You kneel in front of him in your trance. 

The priest smears blood over your forehead and read you your rights and demands your loyalty.

"There is no law beyond. Do what thou wilt." He states. 

"Our dark lord asks - 

" Would you like to be happy child, to be free?" 

"Free to love and to hate? To be what nature meant you to be, true to her laws and yourself only?" you stay numb Tom takes the initiation. 

"Say yes Y/N." 

"Yes, father." You say as you were told. 

"Do you believe in Lucifer, the archangel, who preferred the loss of Heaven to that of his pride?" 

"Yes, father." 

"In exchange for this belief, you shall be granted powers that will enable you to be of service to the dark lord." 

"Y/N Warren are you willing to forsake the path  of light and follow the path of night wherever it may lead you?" 

"I am" 

"And are you willing to place our dark lord above all others in your life, be it your loved ones, friends, family." you pause for a moment but under the hypnosis spell even if you wanted to but you couldn't make your own decisions. 

"I ...am" 

"Then it's time to sign his book." The weather started to deteriorate as strong winds started to blow and thunder rumbling at a distance could be heard. 

Meanwhile at your home your mother was turning restless with the sudden change in the weather she ran to your Aunt Rose's room. 

"Rose what's happening?"

"It's about time Martha." Rose says coldly. 

"What do you mean? Where is Y/N?" Martha panicked. 

"Don't worry she will be fine but for some people this is the beginning of their end"

"Mom what's happening?" Erica came running too. 

"Oh Erica you are here can you fetch me the ancestral calcified bowl." Erica did as she was told. 

"Martha give me the ashes of Amber." She handed over a bottle of ash as Rose poured it in the bowl. She lit the candles around the bowl with her magic and chanted. 

"Here and now 

I evoke the elemental force of Fire

the flames of creativity and passion

dancing source of heat, light and life. 

I seek the flowing forge within

I call you forth to burn away

All that impedes my highest vision

And to enact change in the world

Lightning and hearth

Hearth and forge

Fire, I call thee hence" 

Rose focused on the ashes in the bowl as flames erupted in it. 

"Y/N wake up, recognize your true self" 

“Phasmatos Incendia Ignis absumet Ignarious. Ignarious! Ignarious Ignalusa”

Meanwhile you were standing at the altar and an ancient book was kept open on the flat stone in front of you. The priest took a knife and made an incision on your hand as a drop of blood flowed down from the cut on the page. Tom was behind you as the priest signalled him to proceed; he took your hand with the pen to sign your name in the book. Just when you were about to sign the Dark Lord’s Book of the Beast with your blood, Rose's invocation ritual broke the hypnosis spell on you and you were snapped out of your trance. The fog that clouded your mind got lifted as you felt light headed. It took awhile for you to process what was happening around you. 

"You swear to obey without any question any order you may receive from tHe dark lord, or from any figure He placed in authority over you." 

"In signing you swear to give your mind, body, and soul unreservedly to the furtherance of the designs of our lord satan." The priest went on.

"No!!" You yanked your hand away from Tom's grasp. 

"What do you mean no child?" the priest frowned. 

"Who are you? Where the hell am I?!" You looked around in confusion. 

"Tom what's going on? Where's Jane?!" you look at him with panic stricken eyes. 

"Y/N,love, listen to me this is for your own good just complete the ritual" 

"Is this some kind of Halloween prank because it's not funny."

"You think you are sick with some neural disease that is why you can't feel warmth. Y/N don't you understand that you are not human." Tom tried to make you understand.

“Tom why are you so up to prove that I’m some sort of psychic?”

''You are a smart girl Y/N don't tell me the visions you get doesn't seem real? That you didn't light up a candle just by focusing your mind on it." agatha quipped.

"You are a half witch Y/N magic runs in your blood and to reach your full potential you have to submit to our Dark Lord" 

"Whatever I maybe there is another path for me. A third way. And even if there isn't, my name is Y/N Warren, and I will not sign it away!" you stated. 

"If you don't complete the ritual then you have to face the wrath of the dark lord." Agatha warned. 

"The only thing I'm gonna do is to get away from you jackass people."

The coven tries to stop you from escaping as everyone chanted in unison. 

“Crescere arbor” 

While you attempt to escape you become entangled in magical possessed vines which held you to your place.

"Why can't I move?" you struggled to free yourself. 

"You're not leaving unless and until you complete the ritual."

Suddenly the stone of your antique necklace starts glowing, emitting a reddish orange aura which just grew in intensity as time passed blinding your eyes. A sudden rage started to grow inside trying to burst out. 

Your body was shaking imminently as the blazing inferno coursing inside you was becoming too much for your body to handle. You forced your eyes open and a chill ran down the spines of everyone present for the ceremony. You irises appeared like burning coals of fire. 

They flashed with anger, a burning animosity growing in your amber orbs. Tom couldn't recognize you anymore you appeared to be a totally different person. 

Flares started erupting from your hands soon turning into flames ready to engulf anyone that came in your way. The flames spread to the magical vines holding you as they were burned into ashes setting you free. You gasped as you looked at your hands on fire. 

"What's happening?! What did you guys do to me?!" You panicked. 

"Y/N, love calm down. Just try to control it"

"I can't!!'' You growled 

"I can help, just let me help you Y/N" 

"No! Don't come near me." You warned with a hoarse voice. A ring of fire formed around you.

"Tom do something or she will burn down the whole forest." Harrison said in panic. 

''You've nothing to fear no one will do you any harm."

"Just calm down and everything will be fine. Close your eyes and focus, love"

You closed your eyes taking in measured breaths trying to calm yourself. It worked as the raging inside you dissipated. Your hands were no more on fire. 

"Suctus Incendia" everyone chanted in unison and the fire died down. 

You on the other hand felt weak and drained out as you collapsed on the ground unconscious. 

…………………………………………………………………..

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[marie-dufresne]

@exsiliumductoris

Stepping out of the train station and into the city, Marie felt oddly out of place. It could have been because she was in the same outfit she’d been wearing for the past five or so months (when she was even wearing clothes. At some point it had become more practical to wrap up in a fur and leave it at that), worn down to practically threads by her standards, yet ballet flats that were practically brand new.

She had no makeup on to speak of (in public of all places) and was, despite her now tighter fitting clothing since being fed properly on a regular basis, also without a bra, the damned thing having split right into two halves and rendering itself useless.

At least she wouldn’t be recognized.

In the pocket of her jacket she had some money that Veld had given her and a piece of paper with a name and the number of someone who would get her a new identity and the proper paperwork to travel freely out of the country and into almost any of her choosing.

He owed Veld.

Make a good life for yourself, he’d told her before they parted.

Amidst the bustling of Prague she sighed, stepping out of the way and making herself small by a lamp post. She didn’t know what that meant.

What she did know was that she needed clothes and a hotel. Locating the shopping mall was simple. She practically had radar for the finer things in life and though she was eyed by the sales woman for her incredibly average appearance, Marie paid no mind, flipping over the tag of the dress she’d set out to purchase.

Her heart sank.

The dress alone cost almost half of what Veld had given her. There was no way she could provide herself with a new wardrobe here. With tears in her eyes, Marie dropped the tag and turned away, realizing how little she really knew about surviving on her own.

“You might try MY,” drawled the sales clerk, examining the diamonds on her fingers, “perhaps better suited for your….budget.”

Thanking her, Marie left the boutique, and, locating a directory, was pleased to find this ‘My’ was an anchor store and she wasn’t likely to get lost finding it.

The clothing selection, she found, was severely lacking in…well anything she cared for, really. But then again, she’d been living practically primitive for nearly half a year and had found herself quite happy in doing so, so purchasing a few bits of clothing she might have to share the style of the masses was not the most horrible thing she’d ever endured.

And to her surprise, they had everything. Undergarments, pajamas, hair accessories, makeup (bargain brand, but still), purses, shoes, and even a not-quite-awful and sort-of-formal-depending-on-her-hairstyle dress she might be able to wear should she choose to treat herself to a drink at a place more her scale.

She even found a new suitcase.

Leaving the mall she encountered a small tourist cart where she was able to pick up a few brochures and pamphlets in English and sought out a budget-friendly hotel. Family-friendly, it said. That was likely to be affordable enough without being questionable. She was right.

Feeling successful, she checked into the hotel and rolled her new suitcase containing her entire new life, into the little room and when she laid eyes on the shower, she let out a squeal and practically jumped from her clothes and underneath the running, hot water. Oh how such a simple pleasure was a luxury.

The towels and robe provided by the hotel may have been of moderate quality but to Marie, it was like entering the world again and when she flopped down on the bed, she smiled. Life could be good, if lived on her own terms.

She sat up, digging in her jacket pocket for the piece of paper Veld had given her, and scooted closer to the telephone, reading the name and numbers over and over again until she wasn’t reading them anymore, but simply…staring through the paper.

Mmm….maybe not tonight. She put the paper back in her pocket. Maybe she’d wait just…another day.

She didn’t sleep that night, the sounds of the city ringing through her ears and thundering in her head. They were loud, obnoxious, unnatural noises she’d forgotten about. Here there was no crackling of a dying evening fire, and no steady heartbeat of another person. It was screeching and yelling and music and she was overly aware of all of it.

The next morning, though she’d had little sleep, she was determined to have a good day. It was the last day she’d spend in Prague, she decided, and while she was there, she might as well do some touristing.

She had breakfast at a cafe, walked some fashionable streets, and when she found the library, she decided to see what they might offer by means of nearby attractions. There was a sign in the lobby she couldn’t quite read, but she recognized the wifi logo and the currency, and the image of a clock.

Maybe…just for a few moments she could rent some time on a computer. There was something she was curious about. Into the search engine went her name.

Gossip blogs had plenty to say about her death. None of it good, of course, but she brushed those aside, looking for an actual news article and found exactly one.

One.

“…where Californian heiress fell victim to the brutality of Czech mountain terrain. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Dufresne have refused to speak about the loss and wish to mourn in peace. No services will be held.”

She hadn’t even been named.

Angrily she clicked away, returning to the search and typing out Harold Davenport. Pages of articles of the great tragedy that befell the ‘philanthropist’ and ‘business guru’ assaulted her eyes and had she been one to make more a scene, she might have thrown the monitor from the table. Instead, she clicked out of everything and with angry tears in her eyes, stormed silently from the library.

Even in death she meant nothing to anyone.

On the steps of the library she sat off to the side, tucking her face into her knees and sobbed. The benefit of city folk was that they were city folk and had better things to do than bother with someone who may or may not be crying and she was left alone.

When she was calm enough to stand, she walked aimlessly, not knowing what exactly to do anymore. She’d lost interest in being a tourist. She needed to decide where to go from here. London and Paris were too obvious. She had too many connections in both places. Anywhere in the United States put her too close to Arthur.

Australia? New Zealand?

No, too many creepy crawlies that were beyond the appropriate size. Tahiti was a nice idea. It was her favourite place in the world, after all, but it was expensive and she wasn’t exactly equipped with the capital to set up residence there. It would be a great place to establish herself as a photographer though.

She sighed. But she didn’t have her camera. It was at the bottom of Veld’s boar pit. She wondered if it had survived. It was in its protective bag, inside of the suitcase. Well, it didn’t matter now. Still, she wondered if he’d look through her things. If he’d look at her photos. There were some of herself on that card, she remembered.

She wondered if he’d miss her. She grunted. “Probably not,” she whispered to herself as she walked, “useless burden.”

There was a pang in her heart as she thought about not being cared for by yet another person, but this pang was small and dull, as if she’d made it up to torment herself.  The greater pain came with remembering he wasn’t next to her in the bed when she’d tried to sleep.

Get over it, get over it.

Of course they’d grown close. Of course they’d grown intimate. Two people cooped up in a cabin for five months were bound to have sex eventually. That’s just how the world worked. It didn’t mean it meant anything.

Well, it had meant something to her. She wouldn’t deny it. She’d hold those memories close to her heart. She’d allowed him in. She’d chosen him, even if, admittedly, the options were limited, she had genuinely wanted him and he hadn’t paid a single penny for her.

She stopped at a deli for something in between lunch and dinner, a hot sandwich loaded with more meat than she’d ever been allowed outside the cabin before, having acquired the taste for it and finding herself craving it now.

Back in her hotel, she took to the complimentary pad of paper and pen, trying to decide where she might decide to live. Singapore was an enticing option, but like Paris and London, she knew far too many people who frequented the area and the circles of the rich and powerful were small. Crossing someone’s path was inevitable.

Both Ireland and Scotland were possibilities. There wasn’t anyone in either of those countries large enough for Arthur to deal with and they were English speaking lands. That was a plus. She thought some more, tapping the pen against the little desk in the room. Both of those options were a little…chilly for her tastes.

“Scotland, Ireland…Germa…no….Greeeeece?”

She put a question mark next to that one, then promptly scribbled it out. Lamb was too high on their list of favourite meats.

“Oh! Spain!”

She’d been to Spain several times and enjoyed the climate, the food, the people, and they were lovers of the arts. Almost too cultured for her family, truthfully, and it had only ever been a place clients had taken her to on their holidays. She favored Barcelona.

The Spanish were a passionate bunch too. Not that she wanted to take advantage of men exactly, but she didn’t see the harm in securing a temporary boyfriend for temporary lodgings while she got on her feet. She would even be honest about her reason for being in the city. A photographer making a name for herself—

She frowned. It would be hard to claim to be a photographer without equipment. She didn’t have money for all the equipment she needed. She didn’t even have money for the sort of camera she preferred and that was…one thing she simply wouldn’t budge on.

Sighing, her hand found her hair and she rested her elbow on the desk. Stupid money. If only there were some way to…

Her eyes fell on the little black dress hanging up on the back of the hotel door. She knew where the swankiest hotels were, and the lofty bars that sat below the rooms the visitors kept.

That evening found her at the bar, dressed and made up to entice, nursing a glass of white wine, her cheap lipstick leaving a kiss on the rim of her glass.  A man sat down beside her but she paid him no mind. They would come to her. They always had. Whether they left putting koruny in her purse or not was entirely up to them.

“You’re new.”

With no one else at the bar top, Marie turned, knowing she’d been addressed.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re new,” the man repeated, all knowing eyes and thick accent, “to this bar.”

“It’s a hotel,” she pointed out, “everyone is new.”

“Maybe this is true, yes, but you are working.”

Irritation rose up in her chest then. Was she so obvious? “I am waiting for someone,” she clarified instead.

The man chuckled. “Ah. Yes. I’m sure you are waiting for many someones. But here now, is only me.”

With slightly narrowed eyes, she studied him. Early ffities by the looks of it, well groomed, sporting a rolex and tailored suit; he had money. Then again, so did almost everyone else coming through the doors of this hotel. Everyone except her.

“You seem to think you know a lot about me,” she replied, taking a sip of her wine and fully intending to ignore him.

“Mmm,” he hummed, “maybe I assume but only a working girl who is new here would sit at this bar in costume jewelry and a hmmmm….” he waved his hand in the air a bit, calculating the currency in his head, “…sixty dollar dress.”

Well.

He had here there.

Now the question was: did he believe her cheap attire was a reflection of her skills? Did he think her out of her element and would be be unwilling to pay?

“Well,” she cooed, leaning over to him, “I don’t see the point in spending all my money on a dress that is going to spend the night on the floor.”

Her glass was at her lips again. “Besides, men usually don’t notice these sorts of things.”

“Ah.” He motioned for the bartender to bring her another glass. “Maybe not the boys you played with in…America, is it? Boston maybe. They will not know any better. But here in Prague…men, we know.”

She didn’t know what in her face changed, but he picked up on it, quirking a brow and giving her a smirk.

“You do know men,” he noted softly, “and yet here you are.”

Accepting the new glass, she straightened her back, looking over the rim through her lashes. She wasn’t accustomed to being read so easily by strangers and she was willing to admit her pride was hurt. She had been good at what she did, as involuntary as it had been.

“I took some time off,” she replied, lips turning up softly, “not by choice.”

The man beside her tended to his own drink for a moment, before his hand found her thigh and he leaned over.

“You will come with me and if I am satisfied, I will give you ten thousand dollars.”

Marie’s eyes flicked to the side, then down to his hand. His drink hit the bar top, thumb and forefinger snapping up to take hold of her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“And you will return tomorrow looking like a woman who can afford to sit at my brother’s bar.”

These words were colder now, almost threatening and he squeezed, though not hard enough to bruise. “The fee to do business here is thirty percent.”

Marie nodded and for a month, she returned to what she knew. There was money to be made in the escort business, particularly when the fee was paid directly to her and not her father.

After a month, she met a trust fund baby on vacation with a bunch of his buddies. She didn’t care for orgies, but they were her age and not nearly smart enough to keep their money in their pockets. Easy targets. The whole weekend ended in one of them setting her up in a penthouse flat as he cancelled his return trip home, opting instead to stay in Prague with her, living the high life.

While she’d taken the name ‘Poppy’ for work, this boy toy of hers had opted instead to call her ‘Puppy’, a pouty little pet name he held for her when he wanted to get his way.

Marie had not touched the money Veld had given her. It didn’t seem right to spend it. This was not the ‘good life’ he’d meant for her to make for herself, and guilt ate at her whenever she thought about him. She had more money than she’d ever need. Both in cash and jewelry. Her boyfriend had bought her a luxury car she couldn’t drive. That alone could buy her a pleasant country cottage if she sold it.

She wasn’t pleased with herself. She wasn’t even particularly enjoying her life. As she nursed her sore cheek outside on the balcony, even that was a generous assessment.

She hated herself.

She’d found what she knew, what she was comfortable with, and like a coward had crawled back into its toxic embrace—a life of distraction, of pretending.

Her boyfriend didn’t love her. She didn’t even think he liked her all that much. He liked her body and he liked what she could do with it. He liked how powerful he felt when jealous stares of his peers followed him when she was on his arm, and he liked the power he had over her when he was putting her in her place. But her? No, she didn’t think he liked her. She’d asked him once if he would hold her hair back if she was sick. She didn’t know why she asked. The mood had soured immediately and he reminded her the rug was new and if she vomited on it, he’d rub her face in it so she’d know what she’d done.

Just like a puppy.

Rubbing at her cheek gingerly, she stood, palms flat on the marble railing as she overlooked the city. She’d asked to meet his family and he hit her.

She wasn’t his girlfriend, he’d sneered, she was his whore. Up until tonight, she hadn’t known he had a fiancee in London. Up until tonight, she had thought he was a reckless party boy with a bit of a temper.

He’d never called her a whore before. Not just ‘a’ whore, but his whore. He wasn’t name calling; he was stating the facts of their arrangement.

He was passed out in the bedroom now. The sun was flirting with the horizon and Marie looked directly to the street below, lifting one foot onto one of the little bistro chairs set up there. No one would have to see her. Someone would find her, but…there was no one about right now. If she jumped, no one would witness her death. No one would be traumatized. It was the least selfish thing she could do.

With her second leg up on the chair, she brought her knees up onto the stone and took a deep breath. With a sharp inhale, she looked up, taking in the view, pausing for a moment and savoring one last look. The bridges and beyond them, the shadow of the mountains. Was one of those mountains Veld’s mountain? Probably not. They were too close.

Her chin wobbled and she ducked her chin into her chest.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, teetering where she knelt. He would have been disappointed in her. She didn’t imagine he’d look too favorably on rich girl suicide. He hadn’t been impressed with her drug addiction.

He’d held her hair back for her when she vomited. He’d cared for her as she detoxed. He nursed her back to health, a perfect stranger who had barrelled into his peaceful life.

She wobbled a bit at the memory, yelping and throwing herself back, back onto the balcony, back to safety. The chair clanged against the table as she fell and when she realized just what she’d almost done, she choked on her own guilt, sobbing onto the slate beneath her.

By the time the sun rose above the horizon, she was just picking herself up, throat raw and eyes swollen. Her arms and legs shook and she found that she couldn’t look down onto the street without the feeling of falling assaulting her.

As she stepped back into the penthouse, a new sense of clarity overcame her.

She wasn’t stuck. She wasn’t as trapped in this lifestyle as she pretended to be.

After a shower, she cleaned the apartment of all liquid assets she could fit in her purse and, cutting her credit card and fake identification card in half, she tossed them onto the bedside table beside the unconscious leech on society, and left.

She spent the earlier hours of the morning in a cafe, fueling herself and making a list of necessities. She bought a train ticket, and when the shops opened, she bought what she would need. She was on a mission. Whether it was clarity or mania was still yet to be seen and on the train, ‘out of sight, out of mind’, came into play. Her guilt and self loathing began to melt into excitement.

At the train station, a taxi took her to the small mountain village and for a little (lot) more than his fee, continued up the narrow mountain road until it became almost impossible to drive any further. This was fine.

She was sure the taxi driver thought she was insane as she hauled her much heavier duty suitcase, military grade duffle, and all season backpack out from his trunk but returned down the mountain without her after her insistence.

Traveling wasn’t much easier than it had been the first time almost a year ago, but knowing where she was going this time kept her motivated.

Her far more practical footwear helped immensely.

When finally Veld’s cabin came into view, she found muscles and speed she hadn’t previously been able to access, and several yards from the dwelling, abandoned her luggage, hastily throwing the backpack from her back as she sprinted forward, calling out his name.

Would he be happy to see her? God she hoped so. She felt that he might. Her months with him up here in this cabin had felt so real, so genuine.

Her new leather boots thudded up the few steps to the door and she froze before she could even knock, his name dying on her lips.

It was entirely boarded up. The door, the windows. In fact, it was so oddly still, there was no mistaking the lack of life in the tiny house that had held so much of it this past winter.

“…no….” She shook her head, backing away, eyes darting all over, “No!”

With her tiny fists, she pounded on the door, screaming for him. It couldn’t go like this. He couldn’t just be gone. It…it wasn’t fair.

Dropping to the porch, she cried into the wood of the door. She shouldn’t have left. She’d made the wrong choice, continued to make poor choices, and now she was paying the price for it.  

If she had just…stayed.

#readmore for days #Rolly Suitcase AU #Return to the Mountain

[purplesurveys]

1093

survey by pinkchocolate

Hi there! This list is based on some things I've done recently. Let's say, within the last few days. Have you done any of these things in the last few days?

Worn make-up? I never wear makeup. I’ve never felt the need to.

Worn perfume? Sure. I went out last Sunday to bring Cooper to the vet and to take myself out to a coffee shop for a few hours, so I wanted to make sure I smelled decent.

Taken selfies? I think I may have, but I’m sure I deleted them almost immediately.

Shared some photos on social media? Yes, I posted a couple photos of Cooper because he was being super smiley the other day. I also shared a photo of my laptop, which was playing Friends, beside my Friends mug the other night.

Woken up to the sound of your phone vibrating? Technically. But this usually happens when I’m trying to fall asleep in the evening, i.e. someone sending a late-night message, and not in the morning.

Heard the rain outside your window? Yes. It’s literally happening right now haha it just started raining.

Added sugar to a mug of tea/coffee? No. I use 3-in-1 coffee packets, which are already pre-mixed and all I have to do is add hot water. I’m terrible with measurements and starting from scratch and I doubt I’ll ever get the hang of manually combining coffee + sugar + milk + creamer + whatever else goes into coffee haha.

Refilled your drinks bottle? I don’t use a tumbler. I’m at home nearly every day of the week so I always have access to our glasses.

Felt emotionally involved while reading a book? This has happened before for sure, but not in the last few days.

Chuckled/laughed while reading a book? Uhhh I guess. My employer recently lent me this book on PR that they thought would help me gain a richer appreciation of the industry and I guess I did lightly chuckle at a few humorous anecdotes in it.

Spilled a drink? I don’t think so.

Eaten something that was sprinkled with sugar? Nope. I’ve eaten sweets here and there but nothing sprinkled with sugar.

Googled the definition of a word? At least a few times a day.

Read a Wikipedia article? Yes, I love Wikipedia. The last entry I read was a list on notable last words.

Laughed at a video you watched online? So many times. The main reason I watch videos is to be entertained and to laugh, to be honest; so it’s nice that a lot of creators make great, funny content.

Craved a savoury snack of some description? I’ve been craving gourmet donuts for weeks now. Nothing sweet; I’m looking for those with creative, out-of-the-box flavors.

Cursed after dropping an item on the floor? Probably.

Been amused by your pet's behaviour? I am always amused at their behavior. Kimi’s approaching 13 years but he still makes me laugh every single day.

Recognized an actor in a TV show, from another show you'd seen? I’ve only been watching Friends, soooo nothing to compare it to.

Seen an actor on TV that you thought attractive? Courteney Cox, always.

Typed something in a word processor? I had to look this up lol, but I guess I have if Google Docs counts as one? I use it a lot for work.

Been asked a question that you found awkward or difficult to answer? Sure. My grandma called up when I was stuck in a particularly tough period of my shift and she was asking how it’s been. I didn’t want to worry her or overshare, so I paused for a bit and just said “it’s going great!”

Smelled a pleasant food aroma? Yeah, my dad cooks up some great stuff al the time.

Dipped your food in ketchup, mayonnaise or another sauce? Tartar sauce.

Forgotten a hot beverage, then found it had gone cold? I don’t make hot beverages, so.

--

survey by kellyburnsred

What music video do you wish you were in? I don’t watch music videos a lot, mostly because they’re usually not at all related to the song it corresponds to and I never saw the point. Buttt idk, the one I had some of the most fun watching was One Direction’s Best Song Ever because it was hilarious. It’d be cool to fuck around with the characters there.

Who makes you laugh the most? I’d say it’s either Andi or Hans. JM and Kate are good runners-up.

You only can eat three things the rest of your life, what do choose? That would make me sick of those foods so fast...but if it were a legit life-and-death situation, I would go with surf and turf (so that I at least have a bit of variety), rice (because I can’t live without rice), and macarons (for something sweet).

What's one thing you wish you had in your life right now? Macarons. I recently liked a slew of local macaron shops on Facebook and even though I know it’s my fault, I hateeee that my feed is filled with macarons now haha.

If you had to give up your style, what other style would you choose? I’m not really sure. I can think of more styles I’m not willing to adopt, than those that can be my back-up.

What's your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge.

What is the bare minimum of sleep you could function on? I guess 3 or 4, but that’s the barest of the bare minimum. I would still be cranky if I was only able to sleep for that few hours.

When you drive, do you generally speed? Yeah, if I can. You’re always stuck in traffic in Manila so if you have the chance to press harder on the gas, you typically wouldn’t want to miss out on it.

Are you an animal lover? Yes, except for pests and insects I don’t like, like cockroaches.

What's the dumbest thing you've done because someone dared you? I once ate a piece of siomai that already fell to the ground; when I ate it I felt a lot of tiny pebbles and other debris so I promptly spat it out in a nearby bin.

What is the most disgusting trait that you have? Idk...typical disgusting habits make me wince myself. The worst thing I can think of is that I tend to keep my nails super long just out of neglect; and I usually only clip them once dirt starts getting trapped under the nails, or once it starts to become hard to type.

What was the last thing you talked to your friends about? Angela had made this really cute, DIY foldable collage for Hans for his birthday yesterday and I just checked in on her earlier to ask if he loved it.

What part of your day do you look forward to the most? The moment my shift ends.

What are your favorite song lyrics? This week, it’s probably “It isn’t the same, but it is enough.” It’s oddly calming no matter how sad the actual context is.

Who are your closest friends? Angela and Andi.

What profession do you admire the most? All are worthy of admiration. I don’t really have a ~favorite~

Do you believe in karma? Not strictly in the spiritual sense; but it can be comforting to think that the people who have hurt me will have their ass handed back to them someday.

What do you think is the funniest show on TV? Ooh, I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore...I have a sitcom in mind but it ended 17 years ago and it’s still pretty polarizing to this day, lol.

Are you an organ donor? No.

Did you have imaginary friends when you were younger? Just one, but I didn’t get the point of it and I got bored very quickly.

Have you ever smoked weed? No but a friend knows a supplier should I ever want to start getting into it.

Who do you look up to for your style? Idk, whatever girls my age are wearing these days.

What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought? With my own money, probably the hotel accommodation I purchased for my dad’s birthday this weekend. I’m super stingy with my money and I can’t imagine spending 4 or 5 figures on something just for myself.

What's your favorite amusement park ride? Not too big on rides.

Who was the craziest teacher you've ever had? Ironically, it was my Christianity/religion teacher from 5th grade. We bumped into each other a few weeks after I graduated high school and his first remark towards me was about my breasts. He did a lot of stupid shit too when I was in 5th grade but I don’t feel like getting into them because he was just one big headache of a man.

Where would you like to travel that you have not been? Thailand, if within Asia; Spain if outside.

If you could be any musician for a day, who would you be and why? No thanks.

Do you have any tattoos? No.

What are your favorite scary movies? Some favorites are Carrie, The Shining, and Scream.

#survey #surveys

[coyotesongwriting]

Operation: Christmas

Avengers - Natasha Romanov/Reader

Part 2 of my 12 Days Of Christmas Fics!

Story Summary: Every year your dad throws a Christmas party, and you’re expected to attend so that your dad can show you off. Each year is worse than the last, but when Nat offers to go with you as your date this year maybe things are looking up.

Word Count: 4612 

Author’s Note: I hope you guys enjoy! Happy Holidays!

Warning: Your stepmom is kinda a dick

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):  @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark @redfoxwritesstuff​ @brokenthelovely  @collinsstanharbour @samsgoddess​ @noplacelikehome77

With a loud groan of frustration, you threw yourself back onto the bed next to Nat. She was sitting with her back against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her as she watched you. When she’d heard you were still struggling to find an ‘appropriate’ dress for your father’s holiday party this evening, she’d offered to lend you one. For the last half hour you’d been raiding her closet as she gave you a thumbs up or down on each one. 

You’d managed to finally settle on a gorgeous red dress, elegant enough that your father wouldn’t complain but simple enough that you didn’t feel uncomfortable in it. The color was a gorgeous maroon, and it had some embroidery work on the top, coming up to the sweetheart neckline. 

“I don’t even want to go to this stupid party, Nat” you whined, turning to nuzzle your face into her leg. 

Her hand reached out to brush the hair out of your face, a small frown on her lips. You’d long ago accepted that your feelings for her were one-sided, but you were a tactile person. Touching her always brought a sense of peace over you, and as long as she continued to lean into your touch, you weren’t going to stop.

“Then why are you going?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she studied your face.

“Because my brother’s going and I can’t just leave him to fend for himself! We always go together and keep an eye on each other” you sighed, rolling onto your back and resting your head on her thigh. Her fingers began to comb through your hair and you let out an appreciative hum before continuing, “This year he’s bringing his fiance and I know it’s just going to be even worse than usual because Danny quit working for Dad which means he won’t even be showing him off. Basically Dad’s going to parade me around the room like his show pony and I’m going to have no one to talk to. Plus, he’s going to try and pawn me off on every single bachelor and bachelorette in there.”

Her fingers stilled in your hair and you looked up at her curiously, watching the thoughts race across her face. You loved the quiet moments like this when it was just the two of you. She felt no need to be on the defensive, and it was nice seeing her with her walls down, emotions playing across her face instead of hidden back behind the mask she normally wore. 

“What if I went with you? Just tell your dad I’m your date” she offered, smiling down at you.

You sat up quickly, eyes searching hers, “Nat, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine, I promise. You’ve got better things to do than go to my Dad’s Christmas party with me. Literally anything would be more fun.”

“Clearly you’ve never been on a mission with Sam and Bucky, even a Christmas party with your Dad would beat that. Besides, I want to help you out. And it would mean I get to spend the evening with you.” she argued.

“Nat…” you began to chew your lip, thinking through the possibilities in front of you. If Nat came, maybe the night wouldn’t be a pure disaster? “I couldn’t ask you to do that, not for me.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering”

“Seriously, I couldn’t do this to you. It wouldn’t feel right to torture you like this. You realize my dad would then be parading me and you around to meet each and every one of his business colleagues. He’d have to show off his ‘successful business owner and her girlfriend, the Avenger.’”

“Do you not want me to come with you?” she asked, smirking at you. She already knew what your answer would be.

“You know I do -”

She cut you off before you could continue, “Then it’s settled. You go get changed, you can take the bathroom. I’ll find something and then we can go. You said you needed to meet your brother outside the shop in an hour? Get a move on!”

Nat jumped to her feet, pulling you along with her. She grabbed the dress you’d picked, pushing it into your hands and nudging you towards the bathroom before you had a chance to argue. You hesitated for only a moment before stepping into the room. On the one hand, you wanted to argue with her, tell her she didn’t need to do this for you. But on the other… The idea of getting to pretend, even if only for one night, that Nat was dating you was enough to get you bite back any further debate.

Thirty minutes later, your hair was pulled up into a gorgeous up-do, and your makeup was done just how you liked. The chiffon of your dress had fought you a little as you’d put it on, but as you checked yourself out in the mirror you knew you’d made the perfect call on what dress to wear this evening. 

You knocked gently on the door to the bedroom, “Can I come out Nat? You dressed yet?”

Her “yes” was muffled by the heavy door, and you opened the door slowly. When your eyes fell on her, the breath caught in your throat. She’d put on a gorgeous red dress as well, the shade complimenting yours perfectly. The straps of the dress rested on her upper arms, leaving her shoulders bare to the world. A slit ran up the side of her dress high up onto her thigh. Her hair was curled slightly, and you couldn’t help but wonder how she’d managed that since you’d taken over her bathroom.

Thoughts raced through your mind, and it wasn’t until she called your name that you realized she’d spoken to you. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and you merely prayed she wouldn’t notice, or at least, that she wouldn’t call you out on it.

“Uh…” you cleared your throat, “Sorry. Um, what were you saying?” 

She chuckled, running her hands down the front of her dress to smooth it. If you didn’t know her better, she’d almost look nervous in her movements. Your eyes wandered to her lips, starting to zone out as you imagine how they’d feel pressed against yours.

“What do you think?” she asked, spinning in a slow circle in front of you. 

“You look… amazing. Honestly, wow. Just, I mean, wow” you stammered, silently cursing yourself for sounding like a fool. 

Her laugh was soft, infectious as you always found it, and you couldn’t help but chuckle back. She held her arm out to you, and you didn’t hesitate to link yours with her as you headed out.

The ride to your book store seemed to pass in a blur. Nat had turned up the music as she drove, singing along and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. It was times like this that you remembered the day she’d come into your life. You were working in the little book shop you owned, stocking shelves, when you’d heard yelling. A man you’d never seen before raced past you and out the back, followed a few minutes later by the most gorgeous women you’d ever seen. 

She’d caught her man, and had come back a few days later to see you. When you’d asked her, she said she just wanted to make sure you weren’t shaken up after the chase. She began to be a regular at the store. You’d tried to figure out the pattern in the books she was buying, but you could never seem to figure it out. Some days she purchased classics like Shakespeare, and the next visit she’d purchase Stephen King or even a romance novel. 

It wasn’t long before you’d befriended her, and nowadays she stopped by at least twice a week if she wasn’t on a mission. You’d never admit it to her, but you’d fallen in love with her among the bookshelves, in the cold rainy days and the heated arguments about characters and the decisions they made. 

By the time you pulled up, your brother, Danny, and his fiance, Samantha, were already waiting. As you climbed out of the car, you couldn’t help but laugh. Danny and Samantha were also wearing red, and if you hadn’t known any better you’d have thought the four of you planned it. 

You quickly introduced Nat to Danny and Samantha and piled into his car, trading small talk as you drove to the hotel downtown where your father was throwing his holiday party. The way he acted, you’d think you come from a family loaded with money. No, your family was firmly in the middle class, but he was determined to make others see him as a rich man. Which is why he always rented out a big ballroom for his party and paid for expensive catering. 

As the four you of climbed out of the car, your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. All of the other people you recognized as going to Dad’s party were wearing all white, no sign of color on them. Immediately, it hit you like a thunderbolt and you let out a whispered “Fuck.” When the others turned to look at you, you sighed deeply.

“Danny. Remember the theme?!” you hissed, your voice low. As soon as you spooke, his face blanched and his eyes skimmed over everyone entering the party. At Samantha and Nat’s puzzled looks, you sighed, “The theme for this year’s party? All white.”

Nat glanced over the group, barely holding back her smile as she realized now it really would look like the four of you had planned this. When everyone else at the party would blend in, a sea of white, you’d all stand out like a sore thumb - quite literally. 

“You know, babe” she chuckled softly at the look you gave her, “If you’d have told me there was a theme, I could have made sure we dressed appropriately.”

The look Samantha shot Danny told you this was the first she’d heard of theme as well., and you couldn’t help the nervous grin on your face. Your group lingered in the doorway, trying to decide what you should do. Before you could though, your father and step-mother had spotted you, and were making their way over. Your Dad wore his usual fake smile, but if looks could kill your step mother, Linda, would have murdered you all twice over. When you began to shift under her gaze, Nat wrapped a comforting arm around your waist, pulling you against her. 

You shot her a grateful smile, wincing slightly as your step-mother and father reached you. To anyone who walked by, it looked like a happy moment with the family. If you didn’t know her, the smile on Linda’s face would seem sincere. Her eyes told you a different story, anger swirling rapidly through them. You could almost feel the venom coming off her. 

“I see you didn’t read the invitation” Linda’s voice was flat as she pulled you in for a quick hug before she stepped back. 

Nat smiled, the definition of kindess and contrite as she spoke“I’m sorry Mrs. [Y/L/N]. I must have misread the invitation, I thought it said any color but white.”

Linda turned her attention to Nat, and froze as her gaze locked onto her face. It was clear she knew who she was, and from the way her eyes settled slightly, Nat’s reputation was definitely enough to get you out of too much trouble. Nat’s hand had found her way into yours, and she squeezed it twice, giving you the strength to meet Linda’s gaze with a soft grin.

Before Linda could speak again, your Dad shot her a grin, “No need to apologize, Ms. Romanov. You’re a very busy woman and we completely understand. Thank you for coming this evening, although I must admit I’m surprised to see you here…” 

“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, but I couldn’t miss the chance to meet [Y/N]’s family for myself. She’s told me so much about you all that I can’t help but feel like I know you already” Nat paused, sending Linda a pointed look before continuing, “I’d hate to be an inconvenience.”

“Nonsense, you could never. Not after everything you’ve done for the city. I just wish I’d known you were coming sooner.” the fake tone in your step-mother’s voice had you wanting to roll your eyes in frustration. Nodding his head once towards the bar, Danny and Samantha made a break for the bar, neither your father or step-mother bothering to address them.

”My apologies, Linda.” you bit back a sigh, already fed up with dealing with her, “I wasn’t sure if Nat would be back in time to join us this evening. I would have informed you sooner if I had known.”

“How do you know my daughter?” Dad studied Nat, a hopeful grin on his face. The last time you’d brought someone around, he’d disapproved of them, they weren’t good enough, they wouldn’t improve the family name. From the look on his face though, you could tell he approved of Nat. 

Nat’s laughter was soft, easy, and it made your stomach flip, butterflies swirling around. “I was looking for a gift for a friend, and I happened across her little book store. From the first moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I wanted to win her over. She helped me get the gift, and then I found excuse after excuse to come in at least once a week. Eventually, I asked her out for coffee. And the rest as they say, is history.”

The way her eyes softened as she looked at you, her fingers intertwined in yours, you couldn’t help but imagine that maybe your feelings were mutual. Quickly, you shook your head, trying to chase the thought from your head. You two were just best friends, nothing more, nothing less. That would never change, and you needed to accept it. 

“Does that mean you two are…?” Dad’s grin was growing now that she hadn’t shot him down.

“Yes, Mr. [Y/L/N]. We’re dating” Nat answered before you could, and her thumb began to slowly rub small circles into your hand. 

“Good. I’m glad for you both. Now, why don’t I introduce you to everyone?” Dad rested his hand on your shoulder, and you shot Nat an apologetic glance, knowing that the next hour or two were going to be pure hell.

Linda muttered an excuse about needing to add another seat to the table and excused herself, racing off to the kitchen while you watched. Before you could even consider going to catch up with Danny, Dad had his fakest smile on and was leading you around the room. 

For the next hour and a half, Dad slowly made his way through the whole party, dragging along you and Nat. With every new person he came across, he’d make basic small talk before telling them how successful your shop was, and how you were now dating Natasha Romanov, the famed Avenger.

You were used to this hellish event, your Dad had started throwing them 10 years ago, after he married Linda. Every year (except the one you’d died your hair into a rainbow) he’d parade you around like his show pony, and you’d be expected to behave as if you were the perfect family. Once you turned 18, he’d started trying to pawn you off on everyone who had a single child your age. It was always the worst.

This year, things were different. With Nat by your side the night was almost enjoyable. Sure, the introductions themselves were still a nightmare, as was the small talk, but Nat’s playful jokes and hand in yours made it all seem so… pleasant. You envied the ease as she spoke to everyone around, the way her tales and demeanor seemed to draw everyone in. 

When dinner time came, you and Nat quickly found a place at a small back table with Samantha and Danny, silently thanking Linda for not doing the whole assigned seating thing. Sure, they only didn't do it so they could jump between tables the night of if they decided someone else required their attention, but still. Tonight it was helpful.

As you all settled into your seats, Nat’s hand finally slipped from yours for the first time since entering the party. It suddenly felt empty, and you couldn’t help but miss the gentle warmth of her palm pressed against yours. While the two of you were no longer holding hands though, it was like you couldn’t stay apart from one another. You were drawn together like magnets. Your thigh gently pressed against hers under the table, your fingers brushing as you reached for your glasses. Sure, the two of you had always been hands-on, but today it was like the two of you couldn’t keep away - not that either of you really tried. 

Dinner seemed to fly by as you and Danny swapped teasing insults. You’d always been close to your brother, and that meant you took turn telling embarrassing stories of the other. You told of the time he’d accidentally drunk-dialed you instead of Samantha (you joked you needed therapy after all of that), and he countered with the time when you were children and he’d pretended to be a ghost and chased you, wearing a 101 Dalmatians blanket over his head. You’d run, screaming for your life and hide under your mother’s desk, not seeming to realize that ghosts didn’t have 101 Dalmatians on them.

By the time dinner had finished, you were all feeling good from the champagne that had been flowing all night, and Nat now had heard a lifetime of embarrassing stories about you. You couldn’t find it in you to mind though. As the tables were cleared, the band began to play and couples made their way onto the dance floor. 

Before you could protest, Nat pulled you to your feet and into the fray. Classical music surrounded you, and you couldn’t help but smile softly. You tried to protest, saying you didn’t know how to dance, but she’d ignored you. Her arms wrapped around you, holding you close, and you began to slowly move through the dance floor, falling into step with her without a second thought. It felt natural in her arms, twirling around, like this was where you were meant to be. 

Maybe it was the champagne, or the lighting, but if you didn’t know better you’d swear that she was looking at you like she wanted to kiss you. Your eyes were drawn to her lips, and only once she let out a soft breath did you bring your eyes up to study hers. The vibrant green stared back at you, and you felt warmth flooding into your cheeks as your eyes locked. 

Suddenly, neither of you were dancing anymore. Her eyes searched yours, searching for something, you weren’t sure what, but whatever it was, she seemed to find it. Slowly, she began to lean forward, and you matched her, your faces slowly drawing closer. The air between the two of you felt charged, and you knew that things would never be the same between the two of you after tonight. You couldn’t find it in you to care. 

Before your lips could meet, a tight hand grabbed hold of your upper arm and yanked you back. The hand spun you to face them, and you were face to face with Linda. The rage was now evident on her face, and she didn’t speak a word as she began to drag you out of the party. Nat’s hand never left yours, and your mind began to race as you tried to figure out what Linda’s problem was this time. 

As soon as you were out of the crowd, Nat pried Linda’s hand off your arm, pulling you back into her. You glanced gratefully back at Nat but froze at the look on her face. You’d never seen such a look of poorly disguised hatred on her face before, and it shocked you. Her eyes softened slightly as she looked at you, silently asking what you wanted to do. None of you wanted to speak, not wanting to risk drawing attention to the situation, and you motioned for Linda to lead the way. Nat’s hand was back in yours, firm and comforting as you followed.

“Natasha. This is family business. Go back to the party, I need to speak with [Y/N]. Privately.” Linda slurred, her voice harsh, but you could see the nerves below the surface. She hadn’t been expecting any resistance, so Nat’s reaction had her startled. 

Nat opened her mouth to argue, but you squeezed her hand gently, silencing her as you turned back to Linda, “Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Nat.”

Linda’s eyes narrowed, but even she wasn’t dumb enough to try and get in between you two again, “[Y/N]. You had one simple task for this evening. Mind your manners! Show up on time, in the appropriate outfit and mingle. That’s all. And yet you show up, late, in a very inappropriate outfit! Do you know how disrespectful it is? You and your brother made me look like a fool tonight! Every other person in this party is wearing white, and you all show up together wearing red!” her voice was a low snarl and she leaned against the wall for support. She’d clearly been drinking and had had more than her fair share if you had to guess. 

“Dammit Linda, we forgot.” You were frustrated. Ever since Dad had married her, she’d done her best to make your life a living nightmare. Anything you did wrong was a jab at her, whether it was an innocent accident or not. And every time, she’d pull you aside and yell at you. Originally you’d tried to stand up for yourself, but it never mattered. She’d never listen. You’d learned it was just easier to let her rant and then go vent to your brother about it all.  When you were younger, you’d try to tell Dad, but he’d brushed you off and sided with her. It was what helped drive the wedge into your relationship with him. So, you were used to this whole thing. Linda would yell, you’d apologize even though you didn’t mean it, and you’d go your separate ways until you had to show at Dad’s birthday party.

“You say that but you do it every year! First your brother embarasses us this year by quitting and saying he couldn’t stand to work with us anymore, and now you pull this stunt at the Christmas party? You’re an ungrateful, spoiled, brat. I put up with you all those years, and all I ask is you mind your manners twice a year!” 

Nat had been silent, her body tense as she listened to Linda’s scolding. Before you could offer the ritual apology, Nat beat you to it.

“How dare you?” Nat’s voice was low, dangerous, “Don’t you ever speak to [Y/N] like that again, I swear to god. I’m sorry you’re such a short-sighted, selfish, bitch that you can’t see how amazing she is. She is loyal, and kind, and sweet. [Y/N] is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the honor of meeting. She even spent forever trying to find the perfect dress to impress you this evening, and just because she got the color wrong you’re going to pull her aside and yell at her?”

You watched Nat, stunned, as she argued for you. No one had ever stood up to Linda for you before, and if you weren’t already sure you loved her, you were now. You wanted nothing more than to pull her into you and kiss her, and it took everything in you to not just do it. 

“I think it’s time we leave” your voice was gentle and you pulled on Nat’s hand.

“That’s probably best” The venom in Linda’s voice had been replaced by fear, and to be honest, you enjoyed seeing your evil stepmother knocked down a peg.

Nat nodded once, and the two of you started back towards the party. You didn’t make it very far though before Nat stopped, turning back towards Linda. 

“If I ever hear of you laying a hand on the woman I love again, Linda? I will come for you and it won’t be pretty” Nat snarled, before the two of you continued on your way out.

You didn’t pay attention to much as she led you out of the party and to the car. Your mind was caught in a loop, replaying her words over and over. She’d said she loved you? Surely that was just a part of the act. Right? She’d never shown you any sign before tonight that she was interested in you, let alone that she loved you. 

Nat’s fingers drummed nervously on the steering wheel, and you realized you’d come to a stop outside your apartment. Neither of you had spoken a word since you’d left Linda behind in the hallway, and the silence was beginning to feel crushing. You began to rack your brain, trying to find the right way to bring it up. You needed to know, once and for all, how Nat felt about you. 

“I’m sorry” Nat sighed, eyes locked on the dashboard. She wouldn’t turn to look at you, not even when you rested your hand on her arm. 

“Did you mean it?” your voice was barely above a whisper and her tapping froze under your hand, but she still refused to look at you.

“[Y/N], I -”

“Did you mean it?” you cut her off. 

“Yes.” Nat was soft, but steady as she spoke. 

“Okay then” the sound of your unbuckling seatbelt finally caused her to look at you. 

“Okay?” she questioned, confused. 

You didn’t respond, merely climbing out of the car. The car door clicked shut behind you as you started up the stairs, but her hand on your arm stopped you. The two of your froze, and you could see the nerves she was barely containing beneath the surface.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke or moved, but finally you broke the silence, “I love you too.”

Nat let out a shuddering breath and stepped forward, crowding into your space. Her hands slowly cupped your face, and you rested your hands on her hips, pulling her into you. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as you both leaned in. 

The kiss started soft, but gentle pressure soon gave way to hungry lips, and it wasn’t long before her hands were tangled in your hair, your hand slipping lower to rest on the length of thigh her dress revealed. Neither of you were sure how long you stood there, caught up in one another. 

When you finally broke apart, what could have been eons later for all you knew - or cared - snow had begun to fall around you, blanketing the world around you in a thin white coat. Her hand found it’s way back to yours, and you realized you’d never grow tired of that feeling, not that you’d want to. 

“Baby it’s cold outside. Spend the night?” you smirked, squeezing her hand gently in yours.

Her laugh was light-hearted, her hand squeezing yours back, “My maiden aunt's mind is vicious… But absolutely.”

~~~~~

Read This Story On AO3

#Natasha Romanov x Reader #natasha romanov/reader #natasha romanov #Natasha Romanoff #Natasha Romanoff x Reader #Natasha Romanoff/Reader #Cute #Fluff #Christmas #Fanfic #Happy #Your Stepmom is a dick

[nessafms]

new  york’s  very  own  NESSA  LOCKE  was  spotted  on  broadway  street  in  𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓶𝔂  𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸  𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓪  𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻  𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓵  𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼  .  your  resemblance  to  kylie  jenner  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  have  your  twenty  two  birthday  bash  .  while  living  in  nyc  ,  you’ve  been  labeled  as  being  finicky  ,  but  also  alluring  .  i  guess  being  a  scorpio  explains  that  .  3  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  expensive  diamonds  clinging  to  delicate  fingers  ,  makeup  swatches  on  tan  skin , &  wine  induced  giggles  .

GREETINGS  ,   cuties  .   i’m  gi  ,  9teen  ,  and  go  by  she  and  her  pronouns  .  i  kind  of  suck  at  introductions  ?  so  please  excuse  all  of  the  rambling  and  unnecessary  comments  that  are  throughout  this  .   nessa  is  kind  of  my  baby  ?  so  im  super  super  excited  to  bring  her  into  this  group  and  play  her  once  again  and  even  more  excited  to  write  with  all  of  you  !!!!!!   everything  you  need  to  know  about  her  is  under  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  want  to  plot  please  give  this  a  heart  and  we  can  do  so  (  or  message  me  on  discord  ,  𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲#1776  )

*  basics 

FULL  NAME.  nessa  ryan  locke  .

NAME  MEANING.   pure  ,  holy  ;  butterfly  . 

REASONING.   it  was  suppose  to  be  vanessa  but  somehow  ended  up  being  just  nessa  by  the  time  she  was  actually  born  .

NICKNAMES.   ness  ,  nessy  .

PREFERRED  NAME.  ness  and/or  nessa  .

BIRTH  DATE.   november  third  ,  nineteen  ninety  eight  .

AGE.  twenty  two  .

ZODIAC.  scorpio  .

GENDER.  cis  female  .

PRONOUNS.  she  and  her  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION.  heterosexual  .

CURRENT  LOCATION.   moved  to  new  york  city  at  the  age  of  nineteen  ,  (  click  here  to  see  her  residence  ) .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.  los  angeles   ,  california  .

HOMETOWN.   los  angeles  ,  california  .

FATHER.  jared  locke  ,  actor  .

MOTHER.   jillian  locke  ,  former  model  .

SIBLINGS.   nirvana  locke  ,  emerson  locke  .

BIRTH  ORDER.  youngest  .

PETS.  wolfie  ,  husky  .

HAIR  COLOR.   originally  a  black  color  ,  though  it  tends  to  go  from  black  to  a  light  brown  and/or  a  blonde  color  . 

EYE  COLOR.  brown  ,  but  she  takes  pride  in  the  small  specks  of  green  .

DOMINANT  HAND.  right  .

HEIGHT.  five  ft  six  .

TATTOOS.   nessa  has  five  tattoo’s  all  together  ,  the  first  one  being  something  that  resembles  the  fire  emoji  on  her  right  inner  hip  she  got  with  her  group  of  friends  .   she  has  a  rose  on  the  left  side  of  her  boob  ,  which  she  got  strictly  because  she  thought  it  was  pretty  .   she  has  two  butterflies  behind  her  left  ear  ,  a  smiley  face  on  her  right  upper  butt  cheek  ,  and  finally  the  words  ,  ‘  take  care  ‘  tattooed  on  her  right  arm .  

PIERCINGS.   she  has  five  holes  on  her  right  ear  and  seven  holes  on  her  left  ear  .  

DRUGS  /  ALCOHOL  /  SMOKING.  no  (  beside  smoking  weed  here  and  there )    ,  yes  ,  no  .  

SOUNDTRACK.   self  care  ,  mac  miller  .   angel  ,  the  weeknd  .  fetish  ,  selena  gomez  .  bitter  ,  fletcher  .  july  ,  noah  cyrus  .  bad  news  ,  kehlani  .   after  hours  ,  the  weeknd  .   needy  ,  ariana  grande  .   save  myself  ,  ed  sheeran .  p*$$y  fairy  ,  jhene  aiko  .  girls  in  the  hood  ,  megan  thee  stallion  .  

AESTHETICS.   emerald  hues  forming  into  a  distant  memory  ,   soft  laughter  in  the  dead  of  the  night  ,  luxurious  material  clinging  to  honeyed  skin  ,   tired  hues  ,   the  glow  of  neon  lights  lightening  up  a  dark  room  .  

LINKS.  here’s  her  pinterest  !! 

FUN  FACTS.   she  has  a  three  year  old  husky  ,  whom  she  treats  as  though  she  carried  him  around  for  nine  months  .  she  has  a  obsession  with  acrylic  nails  ,  you  will  always  find  her  with  something  different  every  two  weeks  .  she  always  has  her  toes  painted  ,  usually  baby  something          baby  pink  ,  baby  blue  .   she  enjoys  switching  up  her  look  which  includes  hair  changes  whether  it  be  sporting  a  wig  or  actually  dyeing  it  .  has  a  talent  of  painting  but  normally  doesn’t  have  the  time  or  inspiration  to  do  so  .  a  music  bug  ,  she  has  to  be  listening  to  tunes  if  she’s  cleaning  ,  cooking  ,  bathing  ...  hates  the  gym  more  then  anything  but  has  a  personal  trainer  (  she  spends  most  of  the  time  avoiding  )  to  kick  her  ass  in  shape  .  rarely  diets  and  with  this  she  has  a  bad  habit  of  eating  whatever  her  body  craves  .  she  loves  waffle  fries  ,  and  prefers  a  burger  over  a  chicken  sandwich  .   she  hates  neon  green  ,  don’t  fight  her  on  this  .  she’s  a  bit  of  a  car  junkie  and  constantly  purchases  them  despite  not  needing  to  .  her  worst  habit  is  online  shopping  ,  she  will  spend  thousand  of  dollars  at  ONE  store  .

*  background .

stranded at  the  age  of  five  ,  a  stuffed  elephant  in  hand  and  confusion  lingering  on  skin  .  only  small  glimpses  of  heart  felt  moments  to  ease  the  tears  .  one  moment  she  was  there  ,  and  the  next  she  somehow  slipped  through  the  cracks  .  not  even  the  power  of  hollywood  being  able  to  track  down  the  angelic  emerald  hued  model  .  instead  ,  her  father  had  to  wrap  his  arms  around  his  three  children  and  fabricate  a  story  that  would  not  shatter  their  delicate  hearts  .  but  the  damage  was  already  done  .

drenched  in  sovereignty  and  affluence  ,  the  privilege  of  being  privilege  had  always  been  a  reality  ,  even  before  the  disappearance  of  her  mother  .  a  celebrity  child  ,  grew  up  in  the  spotlight  and  had  ears  filled  with  comments  from  millions  who  did  not  know  her  .   not  a  sob  story  ,  unless  you  considered  her  mommy  issues  .  inherited  her  father’s  ambition  and  her  mom’s  trust  issues .  started  branding  herself  at  the  age  of  seventeen  ,  a  trend  setter  .  the  title  of  social  media  personality  was  granted  to  nessa  before  it  was  even  a  thing  ,  and  she  did  not  stop  there .   ventured  into  the  beauty  industry  ,  building  an  empire  from  top  to  bottom  .  and  eventually  even  created  a  fashion  line  with  her  older  sister  ,  even  after  all  the  red  warnings  .

but  the  finer  things  in  life  did  not  come  with  all  blessings  .   her  delicate  hands  drenched  in  cold  glue  ,  shattered  pieces  clinging  for  their  lives  with  expectations  of  being  put  back  together  again  .  adored  and  envied  by  the  world  ,  but  the  outside  looking  in  did  not  see  bent  back  constantly  picking  up  pieces  of  her  sisters  who  crumbled  with  even  the  softest  poke  .  addiction  controlling  every  aspect   of  her  sisters  lives  ,  and  the  relationship  she  shared  with  them  .  it’s  never  been  pretty  to  watch  the  ones  you  love  self  destruct  and  take  everything  you  love  and  trust  down  with  them  ..  hard  to  look  them  in  the  eyes  as  anger  and  heartache  consumes   you  .  and  even  harder  to  forgive  .  

forever  fighting  the  demons  her  mother  instored  in  her  ,  and  the  demons  her  sister’s  stir  up  .  her  only  breath  of  fresh  air  being  her  daddy  ,  and  the  way  he  always  has  her  back  (  no  favorites  are  played  but  we  all  know  )  ,  and  the  life  she  helped  build  for  herself  .  wants  to  be  rid  of  hands  that  hold  her  back  and  take  and  take  until  she  has  nothing  left  ,  and  instead  plunge  into  the  world  of  living  for  herself  and  new  york  city  granted  the  brunette  that  opportunity  .  

*  personality .

affection  sings  to  her  in  the  form  of  a  love  song  ,  her  love  language  .  digits  itch  to  hold  friends  hands  ,  and  lean  on  lovers  shoulders  .  uses  pet  names  like  her  vocabulary  only  consists  of  the  word  angel  and  baby  .  a  chatter  bug  that  hides  vulnerability  with  ebullience  and  teasing  manners  .  impulsiveness  that  jumps  out  at  all  the  wrong  times  ,  and  a  carelessness  that  teams  up  with  her  pettiness  to  make  all  the  wrong  choices  .  feels  replaceable  and  easily  disposable  ,  makes  her  fear  of  ever  letting  anyone  get  too  close  .  finicky  ,  hard  to  please  and  even  harder  to  totally  figure  out  ,  some  would  say  she’s  hot  and  cold  .  tries  to  stay  out  of  her  head  with  burying  herself  in  work  .  knows  how  it  feels  to  feel  like  you  are  nothing  ,  and  fills  that  whole  with  giving  back  as  much  as  she  can  .  silly  and  sometimes  ditzy  .  loves  too  hard  for  her  own  good  ,  and  has  a  bad  habit  of  letting  people  back  in  even  when  they  do  not  deserve  it  or  her  ..  has  a  softness that’s  desperate  to  escape  .   hates  love  because  she  understands  what  it  can  do  to  you  and  loves  just  as  much  for  the  same  reason  .  built  a  wall  around  her  heart  to  avoid  adding  any  more  scars  ,  and  will  save  you  before  she  saves  herself  .  holds  on  to  people  a  little  too  tight  ,  because  she  hates  going  through  the  process  of  letting  people  in  all  over  again  .  a  twenty  something  year  old  who  craves  a  mother’s  touch  but  holds  a  grudge  that  sometimes  causes  her  to  miss  out  on  people  .   always  just  wants  to  feel  like  she’s  worth  making  sacrifices  for  .

* career . 

kylie    cosmetics  ?  nessa  cosmetics  ,  a  brand  built  at  seventeen  years  old  and  has  only  grown  from  there  .   collections  that  consist  of  collabs  with  close  friends  and  family  (  when  she’s  talking  to  them  )  ,   and  season  /  holiday  collections  .  does  something  for  her  birthday  ,  november  third  ,  every  year  .  has  a  collection  dedicated  to  her  zodiac  sign  , scorpio  .   constantly  changing  her  formula  to  better  her  brand  ,  and  does  everything  hands  on  .  does  most  of  her  work  from  her  office  .   can  find  her  instagram  stories  to  be  her  swatching  her  latest  products  .  favorite  thing  of  hers  being  her  eye shadows   (  applaud  for  the  pigmented  ) .  good  quality  ,  inclusive  and  diverse  (  more  then  actual  kylie  cosmetics  )  is  the  most  important  thing  when  it  comes  to  her  brand  . 

launched  nessa  skin  a  single  year  ago  ,  and  has  worked  on  it  for  the  last  three  years  .  her  latest  child  ,  and  plans  to  only  grow  it  .  skin  has  always  been  super  important  to  nessa  ,  and  delivering  her  supporters  with  products  that  will  actually  work  is  her  main  priority  .  

a  youtube  channel  with  ten  million  subscribers  ,  youtuber  as  a  second  job .  it  starting  as  a  hobby  and  a  way  of  connecting  with  supporters  to  becoming  something  she  cannot  imagine  not  doing  .   her  channel  consists  of  mixed  content  such  from  fashion  hauls  to  makeup  videos  to  even  vlogs  that  involved  her  friends  (  and  family  )  doing  stupid  things  .  

em  &  ness  ,  a  clothing  brand  her  and  her  sister  are  developing  .   features  trendy  street  wear  ,  more  to  come  soon  . 

* connections

the  childhood  friend  that  reminds  her  of  simpler  times  ,   mud  pies  in  the  back  yard  and  riding  their  bikes  around  the  neighborhood  .  secrets  and  promises  of  being  friends  forever  that  felt  secure  but  feel  short  .  bonded  forever  maybe  ,  but  constantly  feeling  like  strangers  .   (  or   they  could  still  be  close  friends  )

the  family  friend  that  their  parent(s)  swore  were  going  to  end  up  together  ,  though  if  the  two  caught  any  talk  of  that  would  scrunch  their  nose  ups  and  shake  their  head  .  or  at  least  they  did  for  a  while  ,  until  lines  started  to  fade  and  the  comfortableness  felt  like  something  more  ..  not  together  now  ,  but  constantly  a  what  if  ,  the  idea  still  runs  in  their  minds  but  is  a  friendship  worth  something  that  might  not  work  out 

a  friendship  or  more  so  platonic  soulmates  ,  if  you  see  one  you  know  the  other  is  not  far  behind  .  they  are  somewhat  extensions  of  one  another  ,  swear  they  cannot  survive  without  one  another  .  the  one  person  nessa  trusts  the  most  ,  someone  who  has  never  hurt  her  or  left  her  .  her  person  .

the  bad  influence  that  plays  on  her  impulsiveness  .  talks  her  head  up  to  get  even  or  take  that  tenth  shot  because  why  the  fuck  not  .  anytime  something  bad  almost  happened  ,  like  that  time  we  almost  got  a  fine  ,  she  was  with  this  person  .  and  while  she  adores  them  ,  she  knows  they  aren’t  exactly  the  best  for  her  .

the  friend  group  you  cannot  help  but  envy  ,  constantly  plastered  on  one  anothers  instragram  feeds  .  has  their  own  groupchat  that  does  nothing  but  blow  up  .  shopping  trips  in  italy  and  vacations  in  greece  .  do  not  always  get  along  but  there  is  always  love  in  between  them  .  they  are  constantly  in  her  vlogs  ,  and  would  kind  of  be  like  her  very  own  vlog  squad  .

the  friends  with  benefits  who  swear  they  are  just  friends  ,  and  the  sex  means  nothing  .  despite  the  fact  that  they  linger  a  little  too  long  in  one  another’s  bed    .  and  the  promises  of  this  will  not  ruin  anything  become  blurry  when  they  connect  on  a  deeper  level  .  and    it  gets  confusing  when  their  affectionate  comes  to  surface  ,  but  regardless  they  are  just  friends  .

a  trio  of  three  friends  who  are  always  seen  together  ,  best  friends  could  be  the  world  to  use  to  describe  them  (  bonus  points  if  its  all  girls  )  .

the heart  breaker  ,  the  person  that  fucked  her  up  for  good  .  ruined  the  way  she  loved  and  left  her  with  a  lot  of  regret  and  heart  ache  .  she  swear  she  hates  them  ,  but  she  hates  how  much  she  loved  them  and  how  close  they  got  to  her  .  hates  how  they  went  from  knowing  her  more  then  anyone  to  being  someone  she  cannot  even  look  in  the  eyes  anymore  (  bonus  points  if  it  involves  them  cheating  on  her  ,  extra  bonus  points  if  it’s  angsty  as  hell  )  

the  drinking  buddy  she  confides  in   ,  a  glass  of  wine  and  a  lot  of  shit  talking  that   always  end  up  in  talking  about  personal  matters  .  they  are  a  ear  and  someone  to  lean  on  .

the  on  and  off  fling  ,  their  back  and  forth  being  nessa  and  her  refusal  to  let  them  in  completely  .  her  feelings  for  them  scare  her  ,  and  she’s  not  ready  to  walk  down  the  road  of  being  with  someone  again  .

other  things  i  want  include  ;  unlikely  friends  ,  enemies  to  friends  ,  friends  to  enemies  ,  lovers  to  friends  ,  friends  to  lover  ,  ex  best  friend  ,  ex  friends  in  general  ,  ex  friends  who  miss  each  other  terribly  ,  other  youtubers  she  collabs  with  ,  other  ceo’s  of  makeup  brands  /  skin  brands  she  has  a  rivalry  with  because  the  media  made  it  seem  like  they  hated  one  another  .

#wealthyhq:intro #fingers crossed i didn't miss anything asdfj #tw: mention of addiction

[daesungfmd]

𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒓.

solo 6  /  wc: 1,921

moral of the story: hwang daesung is a menace. (tw: blood, needles mentioned in a brief anecdote in the context of piercings).

his intentions are cloudy, unreadable ―

he’s a boy who smiles so bright that it seems like he’s in a competition with the sun, talks circles around anyone who’ll listen, begging them to show some interest in the smaller parts of his life. but by the time he’s eight years old, teachers are already writing home about how disruptive he is in class, how he cuts them off mid-lesson to inquire about the color of their cheeks. (”he asked if my skin color is a result of high blood pressure,” one teacher writes, not quite angry, but far from amused. “he doesn’t seem to know how to keep his thoughts to himself”.)

it seems like he never learns, either.

his parents tell him not to answer the door if neither of them are home alone. it’s dangerous, they say, and he humors them by pretending to agree, though his personal belief is that the most dangerous thing in the apartment building is the landlord’s tendency to come looking for day-late rent first thing in the morning with un-brushed teeth. (”does our rent buy your toothpaste?” he asks one morning, in the middle of getting ready for school. the landlord doesn’t think it’s funny, and neither does daesung’s mom as she apologizes on his behalf, stalling while she comes up with some excuse as to why they can’t pay yet. but he sees the smile his dad’s trying to hide, and that makes the scolding that comes later feel worthwhile.)

he listens to the radio too loud while he does chores or pretends to do his homework, turns it up even louder when the lady from apartment 308 comes knocking at the door, undoubtedly to tell him to keep it down in there. there comes a day when he finally opens the door, ignoring every warning his parents had so persistently burned into his mind. before she can speak a single word, he takes the chance to say, “my dad told me you’re angry all the time ‘cause you’re going through a mid-life crisis. i thought you’d be older.” 

he watches her mouth open, close, open, then close again ― evidently, she doesn’t know what to say. when she speaks, her tone reeks of momentary defeat. “your dad told me that you’re eleven, so i thought you’d have learned how to be respectful by now. i guess we were both wrong.”

“i guess so.” the door shuts, locks. he turns the radio back on, louder.

as emotional intelligence puts roots in his brain, acts of blatant disrespect become less frequent but he’s still difficult to predict, impossible to control. a diagnosis of adhd at age 13 turns out to be half the explanation for his fluctuating energy levels, lack of impulse control and forgetfulness, but the consequences of these symptoms are still attributed to having no manners, no home training. condescension from teachers leads to an inherent disdain for a school system that doesn’t serve him, and it turns into hatred the first time his 8th grade homeroom teacher calls him out for the eyeliner he’s wearing.

“the girls aren’t allowed to wear makeup to school, so what made you believe that it would be okay for you to do so?” he asks right after attendance, staring 14-year old daesung in the eyes. he’s lost somewhere between not caring at all and being on high-alert from the embarrassment of the whole class turning to look at him, at his eyes.

“i didn’t realize that the girls had anything to do with me,” he snaps, smart-ass tone contradicting the nervous cracking of his knuckles. “there’s nothing about makeup in the boys’ dress code. if it’s that big of a deal, maybe it should be updated. let me know when it is.”

it’s a terrible way to start off 8th grade year, results in a series of miniature battles between him and the teacher. back-talking that lands him in the hallway with a stack of textbooks held over his head, though they’re dropped on the ground as soon as he’s not being watched ― he takes time-outs as personal breaks, which is later called defiance though it seems like his teacher has no desire to take daesung’s behavioral issues to anyone higher in the chain. on the occasions that he has gate duty, he always calls daesung out, makes him wait ‘til the gates close, then marks him tardy and makes him run laps first thing in the morning.

fair enough.

daesung’s playing a slow game, though, and he eventually lets his teacher think that he’s won. he stops wearing the eyeliner until finals season comes, and then he packs it on heavy, aiming to be called out. the eyeliner isn’t the surprise, though ― it’s the needle and ring in his pocket, pulled out after he’s done scrubbing his makeup off in the sink.

it’s a move made in an act of immature rebellion, and he knows that the purchase hadn’t been the best use of his accumulated lunch money. even as he leans in closer to the mirror, gets the ring attached to the needle and takes aim, he thinks about how the how-to page he’d read had specifically said not to do this in a dingy bathroom, and here he is ―

what’s the worst that can happen?

one, two, oh, fuck. he’s not expecting the blood, and he’s certainly not expecting to have to push and prod the needle until it finally slips through, and he’s not prepared to have to tug at the ring to get it to come loose from the needle and sit presentably on his lip. by the time he’s done, his eyes are bloodshot from unshed tears. he spits one final time, splashes cold sink water against his teeth and against the piercing to wash away the remnants of red. 

it doesn’t turn out to be the power-move he expects it to be, because the school year comes to a close two weeks later and all he’s got to show for it is an infuriated mother, a handful of kids who think he’s lost his mind and a near-infected lip.

it seems to be the last of his raging rebellion ― anger dispels, mischief takes its place. he ends up a trainee under one of the biggest idol companies in the country, and no one fully understands ― not even the other trainees, given the all work and no play expectations shaken by his all play and no work mentality. it feels like all the company employees have his picture and name on some secret list because every time something goes wrong, he’s the first to be questioned. not that he doesn’t deserve it, though; he’s the boy who convinces in-house chefs that yes, he’s supposed to be given bigger portions than everyone else, it’s a health condition. he’s the boy who disrupts practice hours by connecting his phone to blue-tooth speakers. he’s the boy who hides from his responsibilities in narrow, dim corners. he’s the boy everyone expects to drop out, or be kicked out ―

not to be selected for a competition show.

it clears his assumptions that the company has some kind of personal vendetta against him, but it doesn’t make him take the situation more seriously in any way. during his first personal interview, he’s asked, “what do you think you bring to the competition?” and instead of giving an immediate answer, he plays dumb. he doesn’t know why he does it. it’s an impulse, maybe meant to draw time out, make things a little more complicated than they have to be.

“this is a competition?” he questions, and after slowly nodding along to an explanation that he’d already heard an abundance of times, his answer is, “i’m bringing the spirit. i’ll make it fun.”

as the show progresses, the clueless act strengthens ― he’s always asking why, why, why, like a kid on a mission to irritate their parents. criticism sets in, both from instructors and at-home viewers. he hardly cares.

by the time that debut comes, everyone’s made their minds up about him already.

he’s shameless. he’s dense. he’s dumb.

he supposes that they’re not wrong, though; there’s certainly something shameless in the way he interrupts and talks over others, on a constant mission to steal the spotlight. it’s too much, he’s told. he’s too much. a reputation that follows him around for years to come, even once he picks some locks and sneaks his way right into the public’s hearts. he’s annoying in an endearing way, and after a bit of trial and error, he learns just the right ways to draw laughter from crowds ― decides that if he can just make people laugh, they’ll learn to love him. if he can bring a little bit of happiness, then the inconveniences that come with his presence will always be forgiven.

it’s this inherent trust in his ability to be forgiven that he continues to push his luck, break rules, let reminders go in one ear and out the other ―

he’s told that dating is discouraged, but dating fans is completely banned. naturally, his first girlfriend is someone he met at a signing. when he gets caught―not by a manager, but by a close friend―his excuse is that he didn’t know because she never explicitly stated that she knew anything about impulse. (a blatant lie, if her profile picture of their logo is anything to go by).

he sweet-talks his manager into letting him use his card for dinner, promises to return it soon ― then goes clubbing instead and buys rounds for the pretty girl who keeps one hand on his knee, then on his shoulder, then around his shoulders; getting closer and closer, then leaving as soon as he stops paying. (i was hungry, he lies, and i wanted something expensive).

he’s reminded well in advance to be prepared for one of impulse’s trips abroad, then waits until twenty minutes before boarding to reveal that he doesn’t know where his passport is. watches chaos unfold, and pulls his passport out of his pocket with five minutes to spare. “i guess i didn’t stick my hand deep enough in my pocket,” he shrugs, howling with laughter during a sprint across the building, convinced that his group and manager’s annoyance with him won’t last. 

he’s called out for scratching his head too much, comes across a compilation while sneaking around on stan twitter. he can hear a manager’s voice in the back of his head, telling him he should never post anything that could cause a scandal or address any rumors without consulting the company first. naturally, he spends three hours perfecting an apology letter for having lice ― something that isn’t true, but causes a minor stir all the same.

before he knows it, he’s twenty-four and he’s still too much, always too much. it doesn’t matter how mellow he thinks he’s becoming, the reminders that he needs to grow up seem to be lurking around every corner. he nods along absently, but nothing seems to change, and he only reveals the mature side of him―the part that became an adult long before adulthood hit―in fleeting moments, or when he’s with his closest friends.

in any other situation, he remains hwang daesung, the jester. the menace. the prankster. the inconvenience. whatever nickname is bestowed upon him, he’ll accept; he has no interest in telling people what they should or shouldn’t think of him. 

he never has.

#𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆. solo. #inspired by bad behavior by the maine #tbh daesung does shit just to see what happens #that's what life is about!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Did 2015 just fly by to you? I probably did feel that way. I usually do when looking back on each year. The only things I really remember about 2015 is graduating UC and hanging out with Ty.

Do you like platform shoes? No. I couldn’t wear them anyway.

How much black is in your wardrobe? Most of my wardrobe is black. 

Are you supposed to be doing something else? Nah, this is what I like doing at this time of night as part of my nighttime routine.

If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? I’d like finish watching this show my mom and I have been watching and check out the first two episodes of the new season of another show. 

Did you have a good holiday season? I did.

Anything special planned for today? Nope.

Who do you really trust in your life? My family.

What do you think about Justin Bieber? I like some of his music.

Do you wish you could change the past? Not entirely, but there’s a lot I wish I could change.

What is your hot drink of choice? Coffeeee.

Do you own a gun? No.

Have you ever cracked your cell phone screen? Not my current phone, but in the past I have. I haven’t had that happen in years, though.

Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No.

If you had to delete one year of your life, which year would it be? I wouldn’t want to delete an entire year. I’d like to change things that happened in various years, though.

What is your favorite article of clothing you own? All of them, which is why I have them.

How late do you usually stay up? Until like 7 or 8AM. :X

What is your favorite Christmas song? I love all the classics.

What all have you had to eat today? It’s only 4AM and so far I’ve just had ramen. 

If your entire life was a movie, what would it be called? I don’t know.

Blue or green? I like various shades of both.

What's your current least favorite song? *shrug* I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Do you know how to play chess? Nope.

What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? We need more unity and less stupidity and hatred.

Do you know someone who is just so breathtakingly attractive? Alexander Skarsgard.

How hard is it for you to open up to others? I have a really hard time with that. Even with people I am close to.

What is something that has really impacted your life? My physical disability for sure as well as health issues.

Quick! Chinese or Mexican? Hm. It honestly depends what food I’m in the mood for. I do have Mexican more often. I enjoyed both a lot more when I could eat spicy stuff, but I can’t anymore. :(

How many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life? I’ve only had one, technically. We had the relationship title, anyway. It didn’t feel like one, though. What I had with Joseph felt closer to one in a lot of ways, but we never officially dated. 

I have to ask: What does the last text you received say? My dad asked me to do something.

How about the last text you sent? I asked my mom if she could grab me something while she was at the store.

Have you shared any kisses today? No.

Did the last person you kissed have soft lips, or were they kind of crusty? They were soft.

Do you think your life will be any different a year from now? For the past few years nothing seems to change each passing year, but that’s largely my own doing. Not in a good way, anyway. There have been bad changes.

What is in your wallet? Credit cards.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope.

When was the last time you went to the doctor? This past Tuesday. 

Are you going out of town anytime soon? Nope.

Do you hate your ex? No.

When are you going to get a haircut? I have no idea.

Can you fit your hand around your wrist? Yes. 

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.

When was the last time you applied chapstick? I don’t remember.

Are you a coffee person or a tea person? Coffee all the way.

Do you have a weird laugh? *shrug*

Do you have videos on YouTube? I do, but they’re all private and will never see the light of day again.

When’s the last time you had a phone conversation for more than ten minutes? I don’t remember. I rarely talk on the phone and when I do they’re very brief conversations.

Do you laugh at inappropriate times? No.

What’s your fast food restaurant of choice? The ones I go to are Chick-fil-A, Carl’s Jr, Jack in the Box, and McDonald’s. I haven’t been eating fast food much lately, though.

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with? D, G, and J.

Are you in any kind of pain right now? Yes.

Are you the jealous type? I can be, but I haven’t felt that way in years.

What did you and your ex fight about most? Our issue was definitely lack of/poor communication. 

Do you have a foot phobia? I’m not afraid of feet, but I hate them lol. No one should even think about trying to put their feet on me or near me. I hate mine, too.

Well, are you a germaphobe? I don’t share drinks or eat off someone’s food or utensil or anything like that or want them to do that to mine. I’ll gladly cut off a piece and share or pour some out for ya. 

Don’t you love long hugs? From certain people.

And long kisses? Yes.

Have you ever purchased condoms? No.

Do you have a dirty mind? Sometimes.

What’s your favorite soda? I don’t drink soda anymore, but Coke and Dr. Pepper were my favorites.

Do you check the mail everyday, or somebody else? I personally don’t, but someone in my family does.

Did you think braces were cool when you were little? No.

Do you ever go without makeup or doing your hair? I haven’t worn makeup in almost 4 years and I just throw my hair up in a messy bun all the time. I also admittedly don’t brush it everyday.

Put your iTunes on shuffle RIGHT NOW and tell me the first song it plays. I don’t use iTunes and I don’t feel like opening Spotify right now.

What was the last song you added to your iTunes library? I forget the last song I added to my Spotify.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs in your iTunes? I’m not embarrassed by any of the songs on my Spotify.

When was the last time you were sick? Back in October.

Did you get anybody else sick? No, it wasn’t contagious.

What brand is your camera? I just use my phone, which is an iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Do you like raisins? Yeah. Chocolate covered raisins, especially. ha. Who was your Valentine this year? I won’t have one.

When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? March 2011.

And when did you last kiss the last person you kissed? Sometime in 2013.

Did you borrow that shirt from somebody? Nope, it’s mine.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My medicine.

Do you like to swim? No.

How many vacations have you been on in the past year? My last vacay was last February a month before COVID hit and everything shut down. It’s crazy how fast everything changed and everything that has happened since then. We had no idea what was coming. I’m glad we happened to take a nice vacation when we did cause who knows when the next one will be. 

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m single, but no I never have in the past.

Are you supposed to be doing homework, young man/lady? Nopeee, I’m done with school.

Do you have to wake up early tomorrow? Nope.

Do you have any prescriptions currently? Yes.

Are you upset about anything? Bleh.

Where was the last place you went that you hadn't been to before? The OC.

Who was the last member of the opposite sex to make you smile? My brother.

Who was the last attractive person you saw? I see Alexander Skarsgard on my dash all the time. 

Do you have a friend whose name begins with "C"?

Is there anything happening in the next week that you're looking forward to? New episodes of some shows I’m watching to come out.

How many people have you kissed whose name starts with "R"? Zero.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? It’s been a few years. 

When was the last time you were invited to go somewhere and you declined? The other day my mom asked me if I wanted to tag along for the ride with her while she ran some errands, but I declined.

The last time you saw your best friend, what were they wearing? She was wearing a black shirt with Maleficent on it that I got her for Christmas.

How did you meet the person you're currently interested in? I’m not interested in anyone romantically right now.

What was the last gift you received and who gave it to you? Various Christmas presents from my family.

When was the last time you drank alcohol and what was the occasion? My birthday back in 2013.

You've got an unread message on Facebook; who do you want it to be from? There isn’t anyone in particular. 

What if the person you miss walked into the room right now? The people I miss have passed away, so...

Are you still with the person you fell the hardest for and if not, do you still speak to them? Nope.

What was the last song that made you cry and what does the song talk about? I don’t remember.

If you're in a relationship, how long have you been together? I’m single.

If you're single, are you looking for a relationship? No.

Look around the room; what's the closest blue object? My back pillow.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.

How old were your parents when they met? They were in their early and mid 20s.

Who was the last person you added to your phone's contacts? I don’t recall.

What's a song that reminds you of someone you miss? Everlong (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters.

What's the most expensive item you've bought recently? It was an accumulation of things when I was doing my Christmas shopping.

Who're the last three people you hugged? My mom, dad, and doggo. 

What's the third song on your iTunes "most played" list?

What exactly is on your mind at this moment? I’m tired.

What is it that makes you awesome? Nothing.

What is today’s date? January 16, 2021.

What time is it? 4:55AM.

At this moment in time, is there anything worrying you, that no one else knows about? Yes.

Have you ever cried in front of the last person you texted? Countless times.

What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I’m watching an ASMR video.

Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? Yes. I read and study the Bible. I participate in Bible studies. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? I’ve felt that way a lot.

How old are you? 31.

When do you start school? I’m done with school.

Do thunder and storms scare you? I love ‘em. We have had a thunderstorm here in so long it feels like.

How often would you say you take naps? Not that often since I usually sleep in until like 5PM. And not to say I couldn’t still take a nap cause I could (I’m always tired), but I wouldn’t want to so late in the day.

How many times in your life have you held a baby? Many times. I have a younger brother and I also have held several of my cousins when they were babies.

Do you like country music? Yeah.

What were you doing at 7:45 this morning? It’s only 5AM, but I’ll most likely be asleep or attempting to.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I haven’t done so yet today, but I’m always like “ew.” I avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible.

Do you look decent when you wake up? No. Or ever.

Do you like to cuddle? I don’t have much cuddling experience to be honest, but sure.

Were you single on your last birthday? Yes.

Do you have any candles in your room? I do. I never light candles, so I’m not really sure why I have one any, but *shrug*

How long does it take you in the shower? Like 30-45 minutes.

Relationship between you and the last person you texted? She’s my mom.

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty? I feel guilty about a few things.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? Just new episodes of some of the shows I watch like I mentioned before and new shows in general. There’s a lot coming out this year.

What are two foods you think only taste good with whipped cream? Uhh. I can’t think of any that I think only taste good with whipped cream. 

If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? When it’s in the form of meatballs (mixed with sausage, garlic, onion, and herbs).

What foods go good with radishes? Don’t they commonly go in salads?

Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. I do wish I was taller, though.

Did your last significant other have a huge temper? No.

Do you usually close the door with your feet or with your hands? My hands.

Are you a fussy eater? I am a picky eater and due to appetite and other issues I’m very particular about what I eat and how it’s prepared and all that. I honestly only eat the same few foods.

Do you enjoy visiting your grandparents? Yes.

Is your hair hard to manage? For me it is. I don’t have the energy or motivation for it.

Have you ever shopped online? I do a lot of online shopping, especially the past few years. Even more so this past year alone due to COVID.

Do you prefer gold or silver? I like both.

What about diamonds or pearls? Both.

Have you ever had surgery? I’ve had several.

Have you ever eaten at Chik-fil-a? Yeah, many times.

Do you spray tan? Nope.

How many hours of sleep would you say you got last night? About 5ish. 

How many aunts and uncles do you have? 3 aunts, 8 uncles. 

Would you say your life is hard? It is for me.

Are your fingernails, and toenails painted, if so, what color? Nope, neither of them are.

Would you ever think about doing porn? No.

What did your last text message you received on your cell say? My dad asked me to do something.

What is something you need to go shopping for? Nothing at the moment.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

[moonlightrichie]

i’ll be your light (i will guide you home)

Chapter 1 - “Tour groups sure are fun, aren’t they?”

My contribution to the @itfandomprompts​ IT Fandom Week day 3: Summer Romance AU This started simple, but I got super carried away so now it’s a multi-chaptered thing oops I’m not even sorry

Summary:

Eddie is on his summer vacation when he meets the charming tour guide Richie Tozier, and even though he's only staying there for five days, that doesn't stop Eddie from falling utterly and completely in love.

Word count: 6908 Pairing: Reddie Rating: Explicit (this chapter isn’t, but there will be sexual content in a later chapter) Warnings: Mentions of sex, drinking alcohol, cursing

READ ON AO3 HERE

Eddie had always dreamt of travelling across Europe with train. Ever since listening to Bev and Ben talk about the trip they went on the summer three years ago, it was all he wanted to do. From Berlin to Prague to Paris, then Budapest and Brussels, to Munich and Amsterdam, all these wonderful places he’d heard so much about, but never seen for himself.

Ben had been his best friend ever since they were kids and they had stayed that way until they finished high school. Beverly had come into their lives the senior year when Ben started dating her, and she’d fit in so well with them that it felt natural to go from a duo to a trio. And even though they were couple, the two of them never acted in a way that made Eddie feel like he was third-wheeling.

It had been Beverly who had wanted to go to Europe that summer after graduation, the adventurous girl that she was, and so her and Ben planned it together, saving up tons of money for the train tickets. If Eddie was honest, he had been horrified at the thought of travelling like that, three weeks with no permanent place to stay, living in shitty motels, a new one every couple of days.

Didn’t seem like a very relaxing vacation if you asked him.

But when the two of them had returned, they had seemed like new people, suntanned and happier than Eddie had ever seen them.

And the stories they told, oh wow, Eddie had gotten so jealous. How beautiful the Eiffel Towel looked at night when it lit up, how it would sparkle for a couple of minutes every passing hour after dark. How devastating it was in Berlin when they heard all the terrible stories about concentration camps and the Berlin wall during a tour, but yet how cool some of the artwork on the wall was. How good the waffles were in Brussels (the best they’d ever tasted) and how there was a five-story nightclub in Prague with a different theme for each floor. 

“You should have seen it!” Beverly had said. “It closed at 7am and when we left our motel, I’d thought no way in hell are we staying that long. I was thinking like maybe we’d leave around 3am or something? But then the hours just flew past, and we danced and drank- it cost less than two bucks a beer, did you know that? Two fucking bucks! Anyways, before I knew what was happening the club was emptying out and I was all like, what’s happening, where is everybody going? We had been partying for six hours straight without even noticing! All night long!” 

“Wow”, Eddie had said, not quite able to imagine Ben partying all night. They hadn’t even been old enough to drink in the states at that point.

But then there was the story from Paris about the motel they’d stayed at. They’d gotten to the city late that day and after checking into the motel. They’d gone out for a late-night dinner, and then when they’d gotten back at around 11pm, there had been a random man sleeping in their bed.

“We were just walking in, chatting quietly and planning to go to bed when Bev saw him”, Ben had explained. “She’d quieted down as I was rummaging around in my suitcase, poking at my shoulder frantically and pointing at the bed. So we quickly left and checked out of the hotel, I mean… we couldn’t stay.”

“Yeah! And we didn’t even get our money back”, Bev had added.

“Yeah, but it was an interesting experience.”

“And it’s turned into a great story.”

Eddie had listened with wide eyes, knowing that he himself would have been terrified. If it was that easy breaking into a motel room, he was definitely not ever staying in one. Beverly had only laughed when telling the story though, so she was obviously not that traumatized by the incident.

Oh yes, Eddie sure dreamed of purchasing that Interrail ticket and just go. Only he’d book some proper hotels just to be on the safe side. Then again, he didn’t want to do it alone, but his friends weren’t able to come with. They had spent too much on their Interrail that one summer, making it impossible for them to afford a trip that expensive again. And even though he’d asked them every single year since, hoping they’d say yes, they’d only apologetically shaken their heads instead.

Eddie didn’t use to see himself as a person who liked to travel, but he’d definitely changed his mind. Who was he to decide that when he hadn’t even tried it? Besides, he’d lived his whole life in Derry, and he craved to get out. His fingers had been itching all year, a deep pain in his chest festering with every day passing, and it was summer again. And finally, he was going on his first travelling experience.

And okay, so it wasn’t interrailing across Europe, but instead the west coast of the US. And fine, it wasn’t l’Arc du Triomphe and Belgian Chocolate, but instead Hollywood and maybe the Grand Canyon if he was lucky. And yes all right, it wasn’t with his friends, but with his Ma.

But at least they were travelling by train.

Oh, who was he kidding, he was on a vacation with the one person he needed a vacation from. And it wasn’t that he hadn’t looked forward to visiting California and Nevada and seeing their beautiful cities and nature, but he had truly struggled a whole lot getting real excited about it.

As he stepped out into the LA light for the first time in his life, suitcase in hand and grease in his hair, he felt the Hollywood sun blind his vision, and for a second he was overwhelmed at the contentment settling in his chest. Closing his eyes he let himself breathe in the thick air, and he smiled slightly to himself. After the four-hour ride, it was nice to finally move his feet again. They’d had to get up at 7am to take the train that left at 8:30am, and even though he was tired, Eddie was glad to have the whole extra day to spend there.

Los Angeles was their third destination, and one of the longest stays on their trip (four nights, five days), and it was definitely the one he had looked the most forward to.

“I’ve booked us a tour in Hollywood at 3pm”, his Ma said from next to him, already holding a map of the city. “I think we have time to get to our hotel and leave our baggage there before going out again.” 

“Do I have time for a shower?”

He hadn’t had time for his routinely morning shower, and he was starting to feel gross. Earlier on the train, he’d put on a sweater on top of his t-shirt to hide the sweat patches under his arms. And even though that’d only made him sweat more, it had made him more comfortable, knowing he could move his arms properly without everyone seeing.

“I think so.”

So that’s what they did, and soon later, at 2:58pm, the two of them were standing with a tour group in the walk of fame, waiting for the tour guide to show up.

“Oh, hold on”, his Ma said suddenly, rummaging through her purse. “I need to take out some cash.”

“I think I saw an ATM around the corner back there.” Eddie pointed back to where they had come from.

“Good, I’ll be right back.” And she was gone.

Uncomfortable he looked around at the tour group, all evident tourists in shorts and tank tops with backpacks and maps in their hands. A group of girls in their twenties had dressed up in what they’d probably call ‘Instagram worthy outfits’ with caked makeup (one of them had overdrawn her lips a whole lot with bright red lipstick), all holding phones ready in their perfect manicured hands. There were a few couples there, one specifically who wasn’t able to keep their hands off of each other. The girl was stroking the guy’s arm way too sensually for the public eye to see, and Eddie looked away uneasily. Then there was what seemed to be a Scandinavian family, all of them blonde and pretty. The dad was wearing an ugly beige baseball hat with a moose on it, and Eddie wrinkled his nose.

“Tour groups sure are fun, aren’t they?” A raspy voice interrupted Eddie’s observations from behind him, and he spun around frantically.

A tall man seeming to be around the same age as Eddie was smiling down at him, crooked teeth on full display. With the sun suddenly blinding him, Eddie put up a hand over his eyes to block the bright light, and he could see the man properly now.

With a mop of dark curly hair and pretty blue eyes behind massive glasses, he managed to make Eddie speechless for a couple of seconds.

“Uh…”

“In this unbearable heat, this should be a lot of fun, don’t ya think?” the man continued, lifting his eyebrows in expectation of an answer.

“Sure.” Eddie felt completely and utterly awkward, not really the best at talking to strangers, and especially not tall, lanky guys with shining eyes and a charming smile.

“You here alone?” he asked, either seeming to not notice Eddie’s awkwardness or simply choosing to ignore it.

“I’m with my mom, she had to go take out some cash.” He pointed with his thumb behind him.

“Aah”, the guy nodded his head. “A nice family vacation then?”

Eddie shrugged. “It’s fine.” He groaned internally at his lame answers, for some reason wanting to impress this guy and for him to find Eddie interesting enough to keep talking to him. There was no denying that the man was cute. 

“Well Hollywood’s real nice, lots of fun things to do, so I’m sure you’ll have a great time.” The man poked Eddie’s upper arm with his elbow, a playful smile on his pink lips. 

“Well”, Eddie fumbled, looking down at his watch to see that the tour was supposed to start four minutes ago. “As long as the tour guide bothers to show up, then maybe I will.” He laughed, a little awkwardly.

The man creased his eyebrows, a semi-shocked expression taking over his face, and Eddie regretted his words instantly, scared he was coming off as mean.

He continued looking at him for a few seconds, but then his facial expression turned amused. He laughed slightly, just a small huff coming out his nose. “Yeah, kinda douche baggy to not show up for the tour you’re guiding, am I right?”

Eddie breathed out in relief, his next words flowing out of him before he could even think. “Right? Bad enough getting stood up by a date, but by the tour guide? I’m heartbroken”, he said sarcastically, trying for a small smile.

The guy only laughed more, Eddie joining in carefully before the two of them stopped and a comfortable silence settled between them.

“What’s your name?” the guy asked.

“It’s Eddie.”

“It was very nice meeting you Eddie, but I kinda need to get goin’. I’m late for work.” He winked at him, and Eddie could feel disappointment already forming in his chest, the pride he’d felt from making this pretty man laugh disappearing quickly.

But then the guy just stepped back a little, reached into the back pocket of his shorts and took out a black baseball hat. In confusion, Eddie looked as the guy put it on and clapped his hands loudly, attracting the attention from the other tourists.

“Alright, guys! Welcome to Hollywood. I’m Richie and I’ll be your tour guide today.” Eddie could feel all the heat in his cheeks disappear immediately, heart picking up speed. Looking at the man’s, Richie’s, hat, he noticed that it clearly said ‘tour guide’ in big red letters.

Oh, how Eddie had messed up.

“I’m sorry I was a little late, I got distracted”, he looked over at Eddie briefly; something of a small secret smile forming on his lips as they locked eyes, and he winked. “I’ll start by telling you a little bit about the background of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and then we’ll walk down it after, sounds alright?” 

The group gave scattered ‘yes’-es and nods of their head.

He noticed just then that his Ma was back by his side. “This will be so much fun, Eddie-bear”, she whispered to him, clapping her hands silently together.

He could only nod, his eyes locked on Richie.

The guided tour lasted for about two hours, and more than once Richie would look over at Eddie with that same smile and a spark in his eyes. Being funny and cracking dry jokes, he made the tour group laugh a lot between the informative parts of his script. Eddie didn’t doubt the jokes were scripted too, probably not the first time he was saying them today. 

When it ended they were in the middle of the most popular part of the Walk of Fame, where there were tourists taking pictures with impressionists that had dressed up like Darth Vader and Spiderman and look-alikes of Justin Bieber and Britney Spears.

It was chaotic to say the least, and Eddie just wanted to get something to eat, starting to get tired from all the walking and still worn-out from the lack of sleep after the early train-ride.

“Let’s get something to eat, Ma”, he turned to her.

“Sure, bear”, she started looking around for a restaurant. “That tour was great, wasn’t it?”

“Sure.”

She reached down in her purse to take out her wallet. “I have some cash here, maybe you could go tip the guide a little while I find somewhere to eat?” She placed a five-dollar bill in his hand.

He nodded his head, and she smiled before taking out her phone, probably to search up different eating locations in the nearby area.

As Eddie started walking towards Richie, he noticed him already looking at him. It seemed like he was talking to the Scandinavian family, and they were laughing at something he’d said.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the tour! Have a great vacation!” Eddie heard him say. The family all said their thanks before scattering away just as he stepped up in front of Richie.

“Uhm, the tour was really great”, he reached out his hand, the tip between his fingers.

“Thanks”, Richie smiled and took the cash, their hands brushing for a second.

“And I’m really sorry for earlier, I’m absolutely mortified”, Eddie admitted, shaking his head with wide eyes.

Richie only smiled wider, eyes squinting at the bight sun in his eyes. “Don’t be, it was cute. And it was funny, I mean, you were right, so…”

Eddie chuckled sarcastically. “No seriously, that was totally uncalled for. The tour really was great.”

“Well, I’m glad, and I accept your apology”, Richie winked again.

“Alright, well, bye then”, Eddie smiled sadly at the thought of having to leave. Honestly, Eddie didn’t really ever get much attention from guys. Being gay had made it difficult for him to flirt obviously, having more than once been shot down by straight guys who’d told him things like ‘sorry, dude, I’m not gay’ in their most bro-voice, even close to sounding offended at the accusations that they might be.

But this time, Eddie was sure they’d had some sort of connection; at least Richie had seemed to be flirting with him. Or maybe he was only being friendly, and Eddie was seeing things that weren’t there, letting the excitement of being flirted with get the best of him.

He started to walk away, missing the way Richie’s smile dropped when he turned around.

“No, wait!” Richie yelled after him.

Eddie spun around. “What?”

“Are you free tonight?” he sputtered out in a rush.

The question caught Eddie off guard, and he stopped for a second to collect his thoughts. “I, uhh…”

Richie interrupted him before he could continue.

“Because yeah, being a tour guide is my job and all, you know, gotta make that bank and gets that moneys.” He rubbed his fingers together in a ‘cash’-gesture. “But I also play in a band? And we’re playing a concert tonight at this local pub. It’s not too far from here actually, but in a little more of a secluded area than the Walk of Fame, you can see how it is.” Richie was rambling, sounding almost nervous. “I just mean, maybe you’d like to come? Not to be rude or assuming, but you don’t really seem to be having the best time on your vacation, and I get that, especially if you only have your mom to hang out with. So I just thought maybe this would be fun? Getting to experience a normal LA night out and not just the façade that the tourists see when they visit, ya know? And I’d also really like to see you again too, and uhm…”

He stopped himself, scratching timidly at his neck and finally realizing he’d been talking for way too long. With his monologue, Eddie’s smile had grown larger by the second, absolutely charmed by the cute man in front of him.

The hat was still perched on his head, dark curls pushing out from underneath it, and in a way it framed his head in a weird way, but it only made him even more mesmerizing to watch. Now that he was no longer silhouetted by the sun, but instead lit up by it, Eddie could get a good look at his face.

With freckles all over his pale skin and blue eyes glittering in the shadow from his hat, he was now looking at Eddie with a blush on his face and a crooked smile playing on his lips. He still had some awkwardness to him, being much taller than Eddie with gangly limbs and eyes magnified behind his glasses.

In a way, Eddie was surprised at the nervous ramble Richie had just stammered out after seeming to be so smooth when they first started talking.

All in all, the man was undeniably charming and cute, and Eddie would love to see him again. So he nodded, trying to hold back the wide smile that was trying to force its way onto his face. “I’d love to.” 

Seeming almost surprised, Richie breathed out in relief. “Shit, that’s… Uh, that’s great! It starts at 10:30pm, and we have a soundcheck at 7. But I have time after that, so I can probably meet you here at 9 then? And we can walk there together?”

“Sounds great”, Eddie nodded, smiling widely. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

Richie’s grin grew bigger. “Me too.”

Silence settled over them, both smiling at each other shyly.

“Eddie!” They were interrupted by the voice of his Ma. They both turned, and she was waving Eddie over. “I found an Italian place that looks pretty nice!”

“Coming, Ma!” He turned back to Richie, hands on his hips. “I have to go.” He nodded his head in the direction of his Ma.

“Okay.” Richie cocked his head to the side. “You like Italian?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, important question. Pizza or pasta?”

Eddie snickered lightly, his laughter fading into a thoughtful ‘uh’. “I think pizza.”

Richie nodded his head approvingly. “Pizza’s a good choice. I prefer pasta myself.” Then he pressed his lips together to suppress a smile. “I mean you’re quite the snack, Spagh-Eddie.” He amplified the pronunciation by splitting up the words, putting extra pressure on the last part.

Eddie sputtered. “Oh, god, that’s…” he shook his head. “That’s so bad.”

“Oh, what can I say, I’m quite the bad boy.” Richie winked.

Eddie put up his hands with a shocked scoff. “Nuh uh, nope, I’m cancelling our plans, this is goodbye.”

Of course he was kidding, and Richie knew that, if the amused smile on his face was anything to go by. “Nah, you’re too charmed by me.”

And of course Richie was just messing around, but Eddie couldn’t help but smile genuinely. “Yeah, I am.”

Richie’s eyebrows rose slightly, seeming to process Eddie’s admission. “Oh.”

“I’ll see you at 9”, Eddie said before Richie could say anything else. “Bye.”

Then he turned around and started walking towards his Ma, barely catching the dazed ‘bye’ from Richie.

His Ma looked impatient, tapping her foot on one of the stars with a name Eddie had never heard before.

“What took so long?”

Eddie kept quiet for a second, considering what to tell her. “I have plans tonight.” 

“What?” She gaped. “But we’re on a vacation together, the two of us.”

“I know, Ma”, Eddie sighed. “But he asked if I wanted to go to a pub tonight, and I really want to.”

“No, I’m not allowing that”, she declared.

“You don’t get to decide that”, he snapped. “Ma, I’m 22 now, you can’t stop me from doing things for myself.”

She only grumbled, unlocking her phone to open the maps app. It was obvious the discussion was over, nothing she could do about it.

The pasta restaurant was nice, Eddie not being able to resist ordering spaghetti, settling for the Bolognese and thinking about Richie the entire time. He kept catching himself smiling into his pasta whenever he thought about the night he had in store.

It was around 7:45pm when they arrived back at the hotel, and Eddie only had about 45 minutes until he had to leave. Quickly washing his face and armpits and brushing his teeth, he managed to mentally prepare what outfit he wanted to go with. He ended up with some high-waisted washed-out denim jeans and a light copper-colored t-shirt with a little chest pocket. Something simple that wasn’t trying too hard, but still cute enough to look good. A simple styling of his hair and he was out the hotel door, ten minutes early.

His Ma didn’t even look at him when he passed her bed on his way out, but he didn’t care, only putting on his white denim jacket and converse. “Don’t wait up”, he mumbled before closing the door.

It was getting chillier outside, and he was happy he chose jeans instead of shorts, knowing it’d get colder as the night progressed. Taking his time walking, knowing he was early, he appreciated the sight of the city. The sun had set only a little while ago, and the sky was still a pretty turquoise where it had gone down.

Turning the final corner, he could see the spot they were supposed to be meeting in the short distance, and he quickly noticed Richie already standing there. Eddie looked down on his watch. 8:52pm.

Richie was rocking back and forth on his heels, seeming to fix the way his jean jacket was looking and pulling up his pants and adjusting his belt, and Eddie could feel excitement build in his stomach at the sight.

Then Richie looked up, finally noticing Eddie getting closer and he waved, and soon the two of them were in front of each other, shy smiles on their faces.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Another silence followed, neither of them knowing how to continue. Richie gestured with his hand. “Shall we?”

“We shall”, Eddie agreed, and the two of them started walking, Richie leading the way.

They chattered a little along the way, Richie asking about what music Eddie liked (“80’s pop divas and Ariana Grande”, he’d replied honestly, refusing to be ashamed of himself even though he knew that most likely Richie didn’t listen to any of that stuff. “What about you?” “Oh, I prefer rock and hip hop mostly, a little indie sometimes and like you, I really love stuff from the 80’s, just maybe not the same artists”, he winked.), and telling him about the band he played in.

Richie talked about how it was his dream to make it with his band, but was also content with the idea of just having it as a hobby if they weren’t able to. Even though Eddie asked, Richie didn’t want to reveal too much of what kind of music they played (“you’ll just have to wait and see, Spaghetti”), but Eddie learned that Richie played guitar as well as being the lead singer.

When they finally got to the pub, there were several people waiting in line to get in.

“They don’t open the pub until 10pm, but because I’m in the band, we can get in early”, Richie whispered into his ear, and after a quick text, the doorman opened the entrance. He narrowed his eyes at Eddie, but Richie only smiled and said: “he’s with me” and the two of them were let in after a quick ID-check.

It was weird seeing a pub so empty, only a couple handfuls of people sitting around, most of them looking like employees.

“I’ll buy you a drink, what do you want?” Richie asked.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Oh, sure I do!” he waved his hand in dismissal. “I invited you here, and besides, I get a discount because I’m playing tonight. 

“Oh, sure then, I guess.” Eddie smiled. “Just a beer is fine.”

“Comin’ right up”, and he was off, leaving Eddie standing there alone.

Eddie wiped his clammy hands on his jean-clad thighs uncomfortably, not knowing what to do. There were three people sitting in a booth by the window, not looking like they worked there. Probably Richie’s band, Eddie thought.

They were looking at him curiously, but when they noticed he’d caught them staring, they quickly looked away, resuming their conversation. He walked over to where Richie was standing by the bar, seeing the newly poured beer being handed to him by the bartender. 

“Thanks, man”, Richie said before turning to see Eddie standing right next to him. “Here ya go.”

“Thanks”, Eddie said, grabbing the beer, their hands brushing again. Richie kept his fingers on Eddie’s for a second longer this time, stroking his index finger with his thumb softly before pulling away. The tiny touch made electricity course through Eddie’s veins, from the tips of his fingers and down to his toes. Even in the darkness, he could see the way Richie’s cheeks turned a pretty pink color, and feeling the heat in his own cheeks, Eddie knew his face looked the same.

Richie then introduced Eddie to his bandmates, the three from the booth. There was Stan, a dirty-blonde haired man in a black turtleneck with good cheekbones; he played guitar. There was Bill on bass: a tall man with red hair and an attractive authority. And then there was Mike on drums: a handsome dark-skinned man with the kindest smile Eddie had ever laid eyes on. They all shook his hand politely, Mike apologizing for their staring earlier.

“Just Richie who’s been talking about you non-stop all day”, Stan laughed, teasing Richie by elbowing him in his side. 

The three of them laughed at Richie’s expense, and Eddie couldn’t help the happy smile forming on his lips at their words, trying to hide it by looking down at the table. Richie just flipped him off even though the blush on his cheeks was undeniable.

“Alright guys, way to embarrass me”, he groaned. He was sitting next to Eddie in the booth, their thighs pressed together. Eddie felt something like bravery edging him on, and he let his hand drift over to Richie’s leg, laying his hand gently just above his knee.

Seeing Richie’s head snap towards him immediately in his peripheral vision and feeling his gaze burn into the side of his face, he slowly looked over shyly. “This okay?” he whispered so only Richie could hear.

“Uh, yeah.” Richie was staring at him so intensely, bright eyes seeming to study Eddie’s face. But then he looked away, and soon after Eddie could feel the gentle touch of Richie’s hand land on top of his.

Putting his elbow on the table, Eddie leaned his chin in his hand, covering his mouth with the palm to hide his wide smile.

First 10pm rolled by, the pub quickly filling up with people, and then it was 10:15 and the band had to go backstage to start their pre-concert routine. Eddie ended up standing by the bar, a nice view of the stage even through the mass of people in front on him.

Soon it was 10:30pm, and the band was exiting the back and stepping onto the stage, all of them turning on their amps and making sure everything was working the way it was supposed to. And then they were breaking out into their first song.

It started just with a groovy guitar riff from Stan and a drum beat. But soon it picked up, Richie playing a simply lead on his guitar and the bass joining in. Eddie wanted to dance already. 

Richie stepped up to the microphone and started singing, the others joining in on backup vocals. His voice wasn’t the absolute best, but it worked well with the vibe of the song, the lyrics simple, but melody catchy, and Eddie found himself bop his head to the beat.

“I only see you when you’re walking”, Richie sang. “Walking to somewhere. You’re so restless.” Bill and Stan replying with an “aha, aha”.

“It must be special there”, he finished the chorus, gaze locked on Eddie as he backed away from the mic for an instrumental break. Moving with the music, he smiled widely, and he looked truly happy. There was no doubt about it that Richie belonged on that stage.

The crowd was dancing, some just nodding their head, while others were swaying back and forth. The entire atmosphere was magical, and it was obvious they had some actual fans in the front row, singing along and cheering louder than the rest of the audience. The sight made Eddie smile, feeling his shoulders relax, and he let out a content sigh. 

Richie had bought him another beer before they’d left for backstage, but Eddie had already finished it, and he quickly waved down the bartender for another.

Their set lasted for another half hour (one song especially with a reggae vibe and lyrics that had made Eddie laugh was carved into his memory) when Richie announced they were playing their last song for the night. With cheeks starting to hurt (he hadn’t been able to stop smiling the entire time, feeling a happiness he hadn’t experienced in a while), he started cheering himself.

Their last song started with just Richie’s vocals.

“I wanna do something!” he yelled.

“What d’ya wanna do?” the others followed.

“Dance!” he finished before jumping into the first verse, and then the entire crowd was doing just that, even more than before. With time passing and intoxication rising, it seemed the people were less scared to dance.

As the chorus started, the hook going ‘I’m touching you, you’re touching me, I’m touching you, you’re touching me’, Eddie couldn’t help but start bouncing on his feet, the lyrics so easy that he found himself singing along.

As the band finished, the crowd was cheering loudly, and the four of them were happily standing on the stage proudly, accepting the applause. “Thank you all!” Richie yelled, and then they started packing up their gear and disappeared backstage, Richie winking at Eddie as he passed him.

Eddie stood standing by the bar, waiting and contently sipping at his beer. Feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through his body, he felt comfortable standing alone for a while. Not like before.

Soon he saw a body move next to his own and leaning against the bar. “Hello there.”

“Hi!” Eddie turned, hands moving wildly, energy taking over him after the show. “That was amazing! Those songs were so fun and catchy, wow, uhm, I had such a great time watching.”

Richie was grinning. “Oh, you sure know how to make a gal blush”, he said in a weird southern accent.

Eddie shook his head in amusement.

“No, but seriously, thank you.” Richie was leaning in closer, eyes boring into him.

“Can I buy you a beer?” Eddie asked. “After the amazing show you just pulled off, it’s well deserved.”

“Sure”, he kept his eyes on Eddie even as he ordered and paid, something special in the look on his face, head tilted back, his gaze powerful and the ghost of a smirk to be seen on his lips, which Eddie just noticed were invitingly plump and soft looking.

Something was bubbling in Eddie’s stomach, and he was pretty certain it wasn’t from the alcohol. Looking around he noticed there were no places available to sit, so the two of them ended up standing there for the next hour or so, drinking and chatting. When Richie heard what hotel Eddie was staying at, he excitedly told how he didn’t live too far from there. He shared an apartment with Stan, and they’d lived there together since they left high school two years ago. Something about the fact that his hotel was close to Richie’s home made a spark form in Eddie’s chest, heart picking up the slightest of speed.

They were moving closer to each other by the second, Richie’s hand landing on Eddie’s waist at some point.

After a while, Richie looked over Eddie’s shoulder quickly before looking back at Eddie. “Wanna dance?”

Eddie turned around to check out the dancing crowd, the perfect amount on it, not so few that it was awkward, but not so many that dancing was impossible with the lack of space. So he nodded, a little breathless. “Yeah.”

And high on the tension between them and drunk from the alcohol they’d had, the two of them were dancing close, Eddie’s arms around Richie’s neck and Richie’s hands on Eddie’s hips. Even though Eddie wasn’t the best dancer in the world, he was still comfortable, knowing he still had rhythm in his body. And Richie was following his lead, his body flushed against Eddie’s. They were pressing close, Richie’s breath hot against Eddie’s ear.

It was intoxicating having him so close, feeling Richie’s cheek press against his temple, his stubble scratching gently at Eddie’s skin. With their bodies touching everywhere and the heat from the rest of the dancing crowd, they were both sweating, air thick between them. Something bubbled deep inside Eddie’s stomach when he felt Richie’s fingers push underneath his sweater and onto bare skin, and he let out a shaky breath.

“Do you want to come back to my place after?” Richie whispered, voice rough.

Eddie wasn’t surprised by the question, knowing what the night had been leading up to all along. But still he hesitated. Of course he wanted to have sex with Richie, but he was also scared for it to become a one-time type of thing and that they’d never see each other again.

And even though Eddie wasn’t completely inexperienced, there was also the fact that Eddie hadn’t ever fully fucked anybody before, and he was sure as hell not giving up his virginity to a one-night stand.

“Uhm”, he started, unsure of how to form his sentences. He didn’t want it to come out too rudely, desperately wanting Richie to understand that Eddie wanted to, but just not on their first day of knowing each other.

“Maybe not tonight?” he whispered carefully, trying intentionally to hint at them meeting again and pulling his head back so he could look at Richie properly. Something about the look in Richie’s eyes was intoxicating, hypnotic, and Eddie could feel himself getting entirely entranced by this gorgeous man in front of him. 

Eddie didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, afraid of something angry, or maybe an indifferent ‘whatever’. Worst of all, he was afraid of Richie leaving and ending up going home with someone else. But instead, Richie’s intense stare only softened, a sincere smile on his face. “Alright.”

But he didn’t move away, only continued dancing, the air a little less affected by the sexual heat between them now, but still pleasant.

“Maybe I can see you again tomorrow? Show you around the city during the day or something?”

Eddie smiled, grateful. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

“It’s a date.”

Richie ended up following Eddie back to the hotel. After another half hour of dancing, they had ended up in an empty booth. At around 2:30am they’d said goodbye to Richie’s bandmates, and soon after they were stepping out into the cold Los Angeles night.

Holding hands as they walked down the street, they continued their conversation about their current life-situations that they’d had back in the booth. When Richie found out Eddie lived back in Maine, he’d pouted massively, making Eddie giggle.

“I never asked you, how long are you staying for?” Richie asked when they were outside the hotel.

“We leave on Wednesday”, Eddie replied. Their Saturday had just finished three hours ago, and Eddie realized with a crushing devastation that at some point he’d have to leave LA and most likely wouldn’t ever see Richie again.

“Shit”, Richie sulked, dragging a hand through his messy hair.

“Yeah”, Eddie agreed quietly. “Shit.”

“Well, let’s not think about that just yet!” Richie perked up slightly, replacing his frown with a smile. “That’s still, what, four more days?”

“It is”, Eddie laughed.

“Well, that’s four days for us to spend together, and I have the day off tomorrow. I’m already mentally planning all the places I wanna show you!”

Letting go of his disappointment from earlier, Eddie stared up at Richie with a soft gaze, feeling happiness blossom at the knowledge that Richie wanted to spend the next days together with him. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

They stood looking at each other for a few moments, neither saying anything. But then Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, and he was leaning down slowly, checking if Eddie was going to pull away as he moved closer. Eddie pushed up on his toes, closing the gap between them, and then they were kissing.

It started gentle, Richie’s bottom lip between Eddie’s. His lips were soft, and their kisses were tender and meaningful, nothing like Eddie had ever felt before.

Richie’s fingers were caressing Eddie’s temple, a gentle touch, his other hand placed on Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer as the kiss got deeper. The tip of Richie’s tongue was poking at Eddie’s lips, and soon they were making out, tongues meeting desperately with every opening of their mouths. Putting his hands on the collar of Richie’s jacket, he tried to pull him even closer, but it was close to impossible at that point, and he opted with pushing his fingers between Richie’s dark locks instead.

As it started getting heated, spit making the kiss slippery, Eddie was starting to reconsider going home with Richie in his mind. His dick twitched in interest when Richie hooked his thumb into the top of Eddie’s pants, the bare skin of his hip being set on fire by Richie’s touch. 

But he knew it would be a bad idea (they had all the time in the world (actually only four days, he had to remind himself)) and with that thought he pulled away just enough for their mouths to part before it got too far and he wouldn’t be able to help himself anymore.

“I had a great night”, he whispered, scared that if he spoke too loud it would break the magic they’d created between the two of them.

“Me too”, Richie rubbed his nose against Eddie’s gently. “And now I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.”

Eddie sighed happily. “Me neither.”

“Drink some water before you go to sleep, alright?” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh at that.

“No, I’m serious”, Richie insisted. “You drank a lot tonight, and you’ll feel better if you drink some water before bed.”

Eddie shook his head delightedly, their noses bumping together with the movement. “Alright, I will.”

“Good.”

They parted with a gentle peck on the lips and an exchange of phone numbers, Eddie watching Richie walk away.

A little while later, when Eddie had just gotten under the covers after sneaking in and chugging a glass of water, his phone dinged. He reached for where he’d put it on the floor, quickly turning off the sound in case it was to ding again and wake his Ma.

3:12am From Richie pick u up at 11 tmrw ! xxxxx

3:12am To Richie Looking forward to it! X

3:12am From Richie only 1 kiss? :(

3:12am To Richie You can have all the kisses you want tomorrow xxx

3:13am From Richie cant wait !! n dont bother with breakfast, ive planned a place to eat! :D xx

3:13am To Richie sounds great! xx

3:14am From Richie night my darlin <3 xxxxxxx

He blushed at the pet name, imagining how it would sound if Richie was to call him that in real life.

3:14am To Richie Goodnight Richie, sweet dreams <3 xxxxxxxxxxxx

Quietly giggling to himself, he sent that last message.

3:14am From Richie <3 <3 <3

Eddie fell asleep with a smile.

Taglist: @annoyingtozier, @spastuetheobsessedphylosopher, @constantreaderfool

#lynn writes #my writing #reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #meet-cute #summer romance au #band au #kinda? #reddie fanfic #reddie fanfiction #it 2017 #it #it fanfic #it fanfiction #i'll be your light

[onclouddesign]

Assessment 1: “Hello, My Question Is”

This assignment allowed us to disencumber an uncertainty that we had about communication design, based on our experience that we have lead within this course. With the regulation to be an open ended question that didn’t require a certified answer; I explored my options by researching objects to start with and then drafting questions that could relate to these objects. I immersed myself by researching physically manipulated type on Pinterest, and this enabled me to spread my perception of the task. I then generated questions and lightly explored ways in which I could present them.

GENERATION OF IDEAS

Idea of growing ideas, and nourishment. Could be worded like: How do artistic juices run wild / flourish? Or how do you nourish creativity in design? How can ideas be plentiful? Food for thought. What fuels creativity? By using the key words ‘nourish’ and ‘plentiful,’ this gives me the opportunity to use food to build the letterforms. Specific ideas under food include:

-Using 100’s and 1000’s scattered and drawing letter with finger (figure ground)

-Donuts for O’s, this can add colour and playfulness

-Spaghetti as a way of producing a cursive, free flowing, organic aesthetic

-Broccoli, can be cut up in different ways and with the stem and the top it can variate the width within the letterforms

-Coffee cup from a birds eye view can create the letter ‘O.’

-Each letter is on a plate, this helps establish a unique composition and create a background context.

Idea of travel. Could be worded like: Where can design take me? When do good ideas lift off? What moves design? How does design shift between cultures and location?

-This could be interpreted inside of a suitcase by arranging objects such as Toiletries, money, keys, shoes, charger, sunglasses, etc.)

-This could be difficult as it is a restricted size to present a question with lots of characters.

-Where will design bring me?

-Where can design take me?

-Made out of clothing items (socks, shirts, skirts, long sleeves, bra)

How can designs be sustained? This can be made out of green objects and make a depiction through the symbolism of this colour. Or I can used recycled items to build the letterforms such as cans, bottles, cardboard, magazines, etc.

How can I stand out as a designer?

-Flamboyant colours used

-Objects that convey individuality - use items that mean something to me to create a more personalized and intimate version of the question.

How can design advance learning and education?

-Context of the coronavirus

-Books, rulers, stationary, etc.

What is the future for design?

-Electronic wires and gadgets to form type

-Tin foil

How can I grow as a designer?

-Can use plant life to support this question. Flowers, leaves, natural elements, food scraps etc.

How can design sway emotion?

What is it to be human?

How do you measure success?

How can I improve lives?

What stories will I tell?

Who will build the future of design?

- This could be built out of tools, string, blocks etc. Can focus on materials and methods within design and the physical act. Tape measure for letter D.

My finalist questions after my exploration were ‘How do you nourish creativity in design?’ and ‘Who will build the future of design?’ The first option was made of 33 letters and the second was made up of 29 letters. It was appropriate to choose the question with the least amount of characters as it needed to be scaled to fit within the one photograph. I also thought that the idea of using food had been over-exploited and didn’t want to orchestrate this idea alongside anyone else in my class. The accessibility to food at this time was critical as supermarket stock was declining with people over-purchasing and stocking up on goods, while it seemed to be an expensive to create 33 letters out of different foods. I also thought that by chopping, breaking and forming food to suit each letterform, it took away my creativity within the task and I was set on creating letterforms with fixed objects. By doing this, I was challenging myself at a more extensive level and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. This is why I chose the question ‘Who will build the future of design,’ and I planned that I will use tools from my dad’s workshop.

CREATION DAY

Upon entering my dad’s workshop, I didn’t have any pre proposed ideas of what I could use, I would just create with my findings and try to make them work as I went. I began by opening up each draw and digging through rusted nails, bolts, collections of spanners, brushes, clamps, plumbing utensils, tapes etc. With a creative mindset, I tried to visualize how each object I picked up could be used as any of my 29 letters. Some objects immediately lent themselves to certain letters such as the G clamp for the letter G, or the tape measure pulled out to create a D. For others, it was harder to facilitate a shape that could be recognized and was legible within my composition. This process was carried out by arranging the formed letters on the floor in the order of the question and paying attention to ways that I could make it appear individual yet bold. I used objects inside of other objects to decorate the letters, and give them a more stylized edge instead of a minimal appearance. Eg: I used a sink drainer in the centre of a curved edge to form a D.

When creating my letters, I had to pay attention in differing the appearance of same letters. While objects of the same family e.g.: rulers of different lengths and colours were often good for creating ‘L’s’ I had to make sure I only used that object once for each letter. This was at times difficult.

After hours of building my question, I was happy with the visual appearance and was ready to take it to the next level. There was not enough surface area on the floor of the workshop to lay out all of my tools in the correct sequence with spacing to ensure a balanced page layout, so I carried each tool inside to my room.

In my room, I placed a drop sheet on the floor in order to relate to the context of building and construction, while creating a visually dominating composition. By referring back to the photos that I had taken of the tools set out on different areas on the floor in the workshop, I was able to recognize the placement and type of tool used for each letter and within certain words. I then played around with the paragraph style of my question and the vertical and horizontal distance of the words. Originally I placed the “Who will build” on the first line, with “the future of” on the second line and “design” on the third line; however, it was too horizontal and I wanted my question to be more grouped together. I then rearranged the tools, so that there was less words on each line and it created an overall square shape in its spacing. I then framed the letters inside ruler edges on opposing corners and placed an outdoor glove on the top right hand corner to show a sense of craftsmanship and the idea that the process of building the future of design is never completed and it is an adaptive and ongoing process.

It was then, that I didn’t like the way the drop sheet reflected light as it is plastic and the colour of the dark blue took away the contrast from the tools. It was illegible and the dimensions of the drop sheet made it hard to photograph without my floor getting photographed. I then reverted to using a clean white sheet as a background, so the tools could be easily seen and cast shadows were visible.

When setting up the white sheet it came with it’s own set of challenges. The sheet had many wrinkles in it, so I resolved this by ironing it out on the floor, which was challenging as when crawling over parts on the floor, it became wrinkled again, or the material gathered in places. When placing the tools on the sheet once again, I wasn’t certain of the exact placement and when shifting them around the white sheet got dirty in places from the oil bathed tools, dust and dirt. This was resolved by editing out those spots on photoshop and smoothing the colour of the sheet. I chose my room to take the photos in as it has the most direct sunlight, however, as the window is on one side of the sheet, I used my LED makeup mirror to shine across the other side and brighten up the dark areas. As the tools are large in size, I then found it difficult in capturing the question in one single photo, so I stood on top of a high chair and hovered my phone high above the grouping of objects. This took a few trials and errors but eventually I got some even, well balanced shots, of which, I took onto Photoshop to edit and manipulate.

This assignment allowed me to extend my knowledge of how typefaces can differ and how humans perceive them. It allowed me to think outside of the box and use different materials and methods in aiding my idea development and concepts. It furthered my understanding of the raster-based program, Photoshop and how I can edit my photos. These skills can all be used in my future assignments and my other courses.  

[imagine-loki]

Giftless

TITLE: Giftless CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 25/50

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

Prom tickets went on sale a couple weeks before the dance, which would be held at the end of May. “You’re still coming with you to the prom, right?” you asked Loki the morning they went on sale. 

“Of course, darling, though you will have to enlighten me on the traditions of the…prom,” he stumbled over the unfamiliar word.  You could tell that he wanted to call it a ball instead.  You forgot that you hadn’t called it the prom earlier.

“The prom is a big dance, a ball, at the end of the school year. Everyone dresses up in super fancy dresses and tuxedos. Generally you and your date go out to a fancy meal beforehand and the dance lasts until midnight,” you explained to him, hoping you were being clear.  It was hard to tell what he knew and what he didn’t of Midgardian culture.  However, you knew for a fact that he knew about balls, they had them on Asgard. 

“You promised to wear the dress I made you to the ball,” he reminded you, smirking as if he were getting away with something.  He wasn’t.  You were just glad you didn’t have to go dress shopping.  

“And you promised to go with me. I just wanted to make sure that was still the case before I bought the tickets,” you explained. 

Loki glowered, bristling with temper and indignation. “I should be the one to purchase the tickets,” he grumbled at you indignantly.  He looked like a grumpy cat and you couldn’t help laughing at him. 

“You can’t,” you told him gently, knowing he didn’t understand the concept. “I have to do it since I’m the student there and you aren’t,” you reminded him. He still looked unhappy, but seemed to understand finally that there were rules.  The rules were in place to protect the students.  

Loki was still coming with you to school every day. You usually walked there, unless the weather was bad. It was a pleasant start to the day and the walk wasn’t that far. “Oh, shit! I forgot to ask you for a favor from the school,” you told him before you got to the school that day.

“What language from a lady!” he chided, sounding more like Cap than your boyfriend. 

“Loki, this is important,” you replied sternly.  There wasn’t time for jokes.  You really had fucked up in forgetting to ask for Loki’s help.  

“What favor would the school like?” Loki asked, more seriously, sensing your mood from your tone.

“They wanted you to get you to dress in a uniform today and pretend to be a student. They have a tour group coming through, which is annoying when I’m a stop on the tour,” you grumbled over that, hating that the school used your presence to try to recruit others.  “They don’t want the parents to see that I have a guard, or they might think the school in unsafe. So they want you to pretend to be a student for the day,” you explained.  Loki raised his eyebrow, wondering why you hadn’t told him already. “I’m sorry! They called last night and asked me, but you were on patrol so I forgot to ask when you got back,” you apologized quickly.

He sighed and looked put-upon.  For once you couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.  “Very well,” he replied. The green glow of his magic passed over him and he was wearing one of the school uniforms and had seemed to de-age a couple of years so he could pass for a high schooler. You reached up to straighten his tie. “This outfit is ridiculous,” he grumbled.

“At least you have pants,” you reminded him, grumbling at the stupid short skirt. He laughed and took your hand. You looked up at him confused.  You hid that you were dating while he was on guard duty.  

“If I am pretending to be a student, I should at least get to be your boyfriend today.” He had a point. They couldn’t say anything if he was doing them a favor. 

By the end of the first tour, you were trying not to glare.  They had come to bother you and try to ask you questions about Tony.  In the middle of class. You may not have given a shit about school, but you did care about your grades and hated that idiot tour groups were putting said grades in jeopardy. 

“I should’ve skipped school today,” you grumbled at Loki. Every single tour group was the same and you felt like you were followed around by them all day.  Asking stupid question.  At least you got to buy your prom tickets at lunch, so that was out of the way.  

You also got to spend all day with Loki, so that was a plus.  

You managed to survive that day without drawing a dagger on any of the helpless humans, which you were extremely proud of.  You were extremely impressed with yourself on that front. 

You and Loki worked out extra hard during combat training that afternoon. You needed to blow off steam.  Desperately.

*

Prom fever hit the school as the night of the dance drew closer. You caught Loki eavesdropping on other couples’ plans so he could get ideas for that night.  He didn’t know Midgardian traditions besides movies and those couldn’t be trusted.

Whatever he did was going to be magical.  You knew it in your heart.

The day before the dance, one of the girls in your English class came up to you. She had been talking to you more since you worked on a project together and had to present it in front of the class. You carried the presentation and so she got an A on it too. At least she’d been nice about it and had done some work on it.  

She handed you an envelope when she approached. “I know it’s hokey, but I’m having a birthday party next week. I’d really like it if you came,” she told you warmly. You smiled up at her. You had gotten more open with your classmates lately, some of Loki’s influence wearing off you supposed.  Though Loki wasn’t the most open, you had to set a good impression for him.

“Really? You want me to come?” you asked, wondering if this was a thing where she had to invite the whole class or something. You never got invited to birthday parties.  Unless they were inviting you to get Tony to show up. 

“Of course! You’re me friend. Oh, don’t bring any gifts, we’re not doing anything silly like that. It’s just pizza and movies and stupid card games. Thanks for the book recommendation, by the way, I’m hooked on the series now,” she waved and went to her desk before class started. You grinned down at the invitation like an idiot, so happy to actually get an invitation to a party. It never happened, not since your parents died and you got outed as some kind of weird, powerless celebrity. They were scared of your superhero guardians and thought you was weird because you was a bookworm. They were finally starting to come around. You tucked the invitation away in your bag carefully, still grinning.

“You’re pleased,” Loki whispered in your ear through magic. It was worded as a statement, but he was questioning why you were so pleased. 

/This is the first legitimate party invitation I’ve gotten since my parents died/ you told him. /I thought all the kids here hated me or only wanted me around to get to Uncle Tony. I was wrong/

“I’m glad you’re happy,” was his only reply.  He did sound pleased that you were happy.

You knew you had the easiest preparation of all of the girls for the prom the next day. Loki did your hair, clothes, and makeup with magic, so you could relax until the very last moment. He wore a full tuxedo and it was fitted and tailored perfectly. Your long black and green ballgown fit equally well. Your hair was in an up-do and you even had a tiara.

Your first surprise of the night was the limo that came to pick you up. “You got us a limo?!?!?” you exclaimed excitedly. You had fallen into prom fever just like the rest of the school. Loki smiled at the excitement on your face.

“And I am glad I did. It was worth it just for your expression,” he told you warmly. The driver held the door open for you and Loki helped you in. He took you to the fanciest restaurant in town for dinner. It was stupidly expensive, you were sure, but it was the most delicious mean you could ever remember eating. 

The students looked at you in shock and awe when you arrived. You knew you looked fantastic, but didn’t think you looked that awesome.  But you and Loki were both celebrities and it was harder to forget when you weren’t in uniform. Though everyone was dressed well, it was the prom after all. 

You had to teach Loki how to do the electric slide that night. It was hilarious getting him to try to learn.

It was one of the best nights of your life and you knew when you kissed him during the last dance at midnight that you would remember it forever.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #giftless #chapter 25 #Nekoamamori

[thebeauregardbros]

A collection of unfinished character writing drafts.

Meet my character [here].

1: Things

Alus loved his things. His antique teacups he’d carefully procured for his café, his lavish clothes he was so specific about - always cleaning them with the fanciest of alchemetical chemicals to keep them pure white. He loved his shoes, the ribbons he braided into his hair, the silk flower accessories that completed his every look - He loved hair brushes, his rare makeup products, all these things that made him feel unique and powerful to be himself.

These things were all pointless in reality - things that could rip and break at any moment, things that were not useful in the life of a war field healer. Though he had the respect of a commanding hero in the Maelstrom and a Warrior of Light, the whispers of his overgrown vanity for things so specific to his tastes flourished always - more every time he showed up wearing an even more expensive garment of fragile lace and silks. Alus was a kind and floaty person, however, that even if someone were to decide they disliked him, it would rarely ever escalate to a truly bad place - Alus was rarely ever bothered by others’ negative emotions, and always patiently tried to help them out of it in his solid belief that sadness and anger tends to come from a person’s own self instead of others. Alus rarely blamed; he did not believe in the idea of it.

Alus could explain about the subjects of his vanity.. but he knew he was ultimately foolish in their eyes, and he knew their ideas were valid about him.

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2: Death

Alus often did his best to finish his enemies off nonlethally. But sometimes, people still die. A person with a preexisting medical condition, whether known or not, could get one last push to knock on death’s door. Alus lamented for ages over the deaths he caused, directly or indirectly, and regularly prayed for mercy on the souls of his fallen enemies. He knew it to not be enough, but he also knew

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3: Psychology

Alus had a problem with truly ever hating anyone. In his view it was not a problem, but to his brother - and nearly everyone else at war - it was something unnecessary and foolish. He was often strong enough to hold his ideals up, but when he failed, his failures felt all the more horrible and self-inflicted. Yet he still didn’t learn to think differently - even when he witnessed his friends die in front of him, even when he was held for moons in secret in a Garlean camp and tortured endlessly, even when he faced the monstrosity of Zenos - he felt pity more than anger. He had no desire to kill anyone. That is not to say he did not when he had to, but he never felt the judgement of Nald and Thal could ever possibly be just - not when he knew that any villain could reform themselves. He truly believed, above all, that every single person was born with good in their heart. He would betray the twelve to keep this ideal in his heart. Even when the warriors of darkness told him that would bring an inevitable end to his world, Alus just... did not care.

Alus understood that the death of one could save many more. But he still reached out his hand to any he ever felt could possibly take it. The scars on his body from the various stabs, slashes, and burns of betrayal in his trust made most of the skin under his clothes feel numb. Yet he did not stop. Why?

“I took that choice. I know that even if they do not understand why I fight for them, I live and continue to fight wanting one more smile. Is that not why you fought, as well?” he said to the jailed warlord. “I understand that my stance is oft foolish. But like you, I am stubborn.”

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4: Stargazing

Alus was never one to be up during the night. Historically, it seemed like he hadn’t truly stargazed in years now - not since his childhood days travelling by caravan with his father and brother, mischievously waking up in the ill hours of the night to climb up on top of their carriage and lay facing up, meditating for seeming bells, staring in wonder at the beautiful sparkling gemstones of Thanalan’s sky. In one such event the siblings slept on top of the carriage, and a frantic Gwenneg Beauregard woke up in a panic trying to find them again.

Whilst his years at school, he had a strict curfew. ‘Twas that, or

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5: Childhood

In childhood - tales of heroes were treasures, valued like prized rubies or diamonds or hundreds of coins of gold, unable to be lifted by the small fragile hands of the young cat-tailed twins. A pat on the head, a warm snuggle in a shared blanket - their eyes shined in response and reflection to these sparkling metaphorical stones, listening intently for every possible tip to also one day save the world from dragons, evil encroaching empires and even simple bandits threatening the dignity of pretty maidens - in such of saying mean things, of course.

The silver-haired man looked nothing like them; his limbs were long and lanky, his ears pointed from his sides - but he was also their hero as an adoptive father, a man to give them a name. He was a man who purchased dreams and stories in exchange for walking legs, always doing his best to bring the boys a new hope for their world; their happiness and smiling faces was the sparkling stony treasure to him, far more valuable than money or personal romance. Their life was hard, but full of color and wonder, never ceasing. When times grew minimal, the silver-haired Gwenneg brought the brothers to hear heroes’ stories first-hand from the source - Alus and Arc’s beliefs in heroism never ceased, was never doubted, their love for stories only increased as time passed. They trusted the world, they adored the world, they wished to grow up strong to join the ranks of Hydaelyn’s chosen to also protect this world from ‘baddies’, making more and more good-hearted friends along the way. To Gwenneg, he had created heroes of inevitable time, he created the knowledge two rowdy twins would impart kindness onto others as he did upon them. To Gwenneg, he himself was a hero; he would be there to support them.

At least, that was a happy ending that they all wished would exist.

One small mistake. One small misunderstanding, and like a wick – a flame blown out, a story ended unlike any he had previously told them. The question as to why such an occurrence existed in a land the brothers believed to be full of wondrous heroism, unwavering victories even at the last second - it eats away at the back of their brains to this day, resurfacing within every moral injustice that occurred in front of them long after. Although the calamity of the fallen moon was ultimately a victory for Eorzea, their father - as well as many others - still perished. The world was still cracked and destroyed. Being a hero was just not enough to save everything on that day.

Alus and Arc - still but teenagers - found themselves incredibly lost. While Alus passively followed suggestions of friends of family to become a private school student, funded by the generousity of Gwenneg’s former companions - Arc seemed to disassociate entirely and try to find his own path. Alus spent the next several years with his heads in the clouds, quiet and unsocial.

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6: A Letter

Dear Father

‘Tis hath been the longest journey at this time. I wish nothing more than dost progress far away from this living hell; For the chaos hath been brought upon us of our own undoing, and dost we respect an inevitable incoming judgement: One I shall never agree with, yet still ethically cannot seek much more in hopes. Hath I became a true pessimist when it was I who believed to have kindness in mine heart? Tired am I to play devil’s advocate when I hath been trying much too hard to play an angel to get into the 7th and highest heaven. I must forgive.

I am no longer a warrior of light.

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7: Hero

Passion, bravery, a will of protection above all else - duty, honor. These are the things that made Alus fight so well. A pure heart, a righteous ideal. Nothing could stop him - nothing, he had felt, in that moment of clashing metal.

But as the villain fell to his knees - Alus felt a chill go up his spine. His hand suddenly felt so sore from gripping the hilt of his sword so intensely and for so long, yet he only noticed it now. His eyes widened, his sword arm went limp, and his body nearly staggered backwards - He could feel the eyes of his military superiors on his back though they may not be there. He could feel the eyes of far-off aspiring adventurers wince up in disappointment if he dropped his sword. He did not understand what to believe in that very moment, that quick - short moment of weakness where everything in his head came crashing down.

Arc had placed a hand on Alus’ arm, and swiftly landed a kick to the villain’s face - finally felling him to the ground and knocking him unconscious. Alus could feel his heart tighten in that moment. “H… he’s al..right .. right…?” Alus spoke quietly to his brother, his voice shaking and cold.

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8: Inner Thoughts

I wanted to be a hero.

What kind of hero murders those just like him?

Those with dreams just as passionate, and those who didn’t even know why they were here?

Those who were innocent until proven guilty, and I have the right to make the judgment? I have the right to play god, to decide who lives and who dies?

#alus beauregard #writing #ffxiv rp #final fantasy xiv rp #most of these are several years old fyi