#so it’s better to never interact with her anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iampikachuhearmeroar · 2 years

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to the younger people on this Webbed Site (affectionate)™️, please don’t feel bad blocking people or feel bad when you lose a follower on sites like tumblr/tiktok/insta etc.

as someone whose basically grown up on social media (i’ve been on it since the the dying days of myspace in 2007/2008 and the switch to facebook being the dominant social media site in 2009/2010); i know the feeling of hating yourself or beating yourself up when people delete you or unfollow you. for example when i was in my early days on tumblr from 2011 to 2014…. when i lost a follower, i would beat myself up and wonder why the hell someone would unfollow me. what was i doing wrong??? what was the last stick to make them unfollow me??? please don’t hate me and i’ve got to rebuild the 10+ followers i’ve just lost. how long will it take???

back on facebook in my final years of high school in 2012 and 2013, i was setting multiple statuses a day, all in an “experiment” to see if i could get 50 likes in a day over several statuses; since i could never get 20-50 likes on statuses at once, like all the so called “popular kids” at school did all the time. hell i remember one of the popular girls from the catholic school i went to posting bikini pics back then and getting literally like 400+ likes and i was SUPER bitter.

i also heavily beat myself up when people deleted me. i got angry, so i would stalk and stalk and stalk and stay up until 4 am wondering why the fuck people were purging me out their friends list like wildfire….. when like…. literally 90% of my statuses over my last two years of high school were me giving off Major Depression Vibes™️….. which i now realise in my late 20s that it wasn’t healthy posting a bunch of “im such a failure and everyone knows it” and other statuses like that, super frequently. by deleting me, people were preserving their mental health. and you know what??? good for them. because, after all, your newsfeed is not your therapist (or your diary), and nor are your friends.

and yes i know that i was Edgy Girl As Hell On Main™️ back then, and using that as my excuse to post those posts and to avoid therapy (although the main reason i’m not in therapy right now is obvs the cost and every therapist around in my area closing their books bc of the pandemic etc). bc hell, now in my late 20s, and over the last few years, i have actually started deleting some of these said statuses. and especially when i was feeling low. because i realised reading them back years later in facebook memories just made my anxiety/depression exponentially worse than it needed to be. actively culling your own Edgy Emo Tumblr Sad Girl Posts™️ from years ago makes you healthier as well.

but y’all. there has to come a time when you stop fretting about whose deleted/unfollowed you and why. and there also comes a time when you have purge your own friends/follow list anyway, when you realise that there’s some people you cannot stand to have in your newsfeed. one particular case in point, for me, is my old friend from public school in 2012 & 2013, let’s call her taya (not her real name). taya was (can't say is really when i barely ever talk to her now) the type of friend who constantly belittles your problems and makes her problems seem super more pressing than yours- basically she pits her suffering etc in competition with yours. she makes out that her mental health is far more important than yours and posted about it all the time. she straight up laughs at your shit and tells you yours doesn’t matter. 99% of her statuses at the time were about her being the “black sheep” of her family etc etc etc. hell, she even laugh reacted to a status that you intended to be important and urgent (it when i was in hospital in 2020 and maybe i shouldn’t’ve posted this. but still.) while anyone and everyone else who reacted to the status reacted with the sad react/the care react/heart react, or just liked it. anyway. you know this type of friend.

there comes a time when YOU can’t (and quite frankly shouldn’t) tolerate this anymore, no matter how close you are or close they/you think you are with them. i ended up deleting taya for a few years, a while ago now, because her statuses and shared posts were actively making my mental health worse. and it always seemed when i was feeling at my worst, she would post stupid shit on my timeline like “we all have that friend who acts like their (when it should be they’re) dead” or some other rude/snarky internet shit and be all like “haha get up you sack of shit 🙄😂” as the caption…. as if i wasn’t already telling myself that on the daily at the time. whereas 90% of her profile was all those stupid “only real people who REALLY CARE about mental health will share this status! be the BRAVE 10 who care!!!” or whatever the fuck else posts. and depressing shit about being a “lone wolf” and “being a strong scorpio woman who’ll never find love bc no one can handle my insanity and constant empathy for everyone” and “being a brutally honest bitch is tough when it doesn’t win you friends. but at least my true friends stick with me!” etc etc. just overall toxic friend stuff.

and y’know what??? when i deleted her, i guilted myself. good god i guilted myself. “why would i do something so mean by deleting taya when i’ve known her for so long???” and “it shows just how disloyal i am as a friend by deleting her” i asked and told myself on a loop until i literally THREW UP out of guilt for deleting her. but girl. sometimes a bitch needs to really protect her mental health from people like taya over here who thinks she’s the centre of the universe and EVERYONE must care about HER PROBLEMS AND TRAUMA ONLY 24/7/365 bc apparently they’re the most urgent things in the world bc “why can’t you understand my empath mind???”. like yes taya, i care, to a point. but i am NOT your licensed motherfucking therapist. for fucks sake. and no taya. you are NOT an empath when you can’t read a room for goddamn fucking shit and can’t understand why people are constantly tired and worn down around you.

and girl (back to myself), you are NOT being selfish or disloyal by deleting and/or blocking this energy sucking friend. and no, if you paint yourself/other people paint you as a “nice person”, blocking these types of people from your feeds etc isn’t you being mean to THEM. it’s YOU being actively nice to Y O U R S E L F, which is a hard and almost alien thing to learn when you always put everyone else’s needs and perceptions of you before yours. (and trust me, it’s something i’ve just realised RIGHT NOW while coming back to constantly re-edit this post lmao 😂).

like yes don’t get me wrong. i did listen to taya’s rants and stuff, as a friend does. but my god. the way she ALWAYS belittled my shit and laughed in my face (or it felt like laughing in my face on fb messenger) at the lowest points of my mental health was fucking awful. her depression posts made it even worse. but my fucking god. i could only take so much. i had to delete her. she did eventually find me and add me again after a couple of years. when this happened, i immediately got rid of her from my feed. i just clicked “don’t show me taya’s posts” and that stopped her constant stream of negative posts on my feed. however, it didn’t stop some of her dumbass comments like “hahaha as IF you’d get weight loss ads on your feed when YOU aren’t fat like ME!” on my posts; which i learnt to ignore or vaguely respond to before her comments got out of hand. like taya everyone gets weight loss ads apparently; bc fb ad filters don’t discriminate when you don’t tell them to.

tbh most of her insensitive behaviour shit towards me was from her instant labelling of me as the “funny friend” and the “doesn’t take shit from anyone friend”. which then meant to her that i could never be sad or never feel anything negative and could always take whatever bullshit people chucked at me….. and especially when someone says something hurtful etc bc it’s apparently all meant to slide off me like…. - i can’t think of a good metaphor- but you know what i mean. it also meant to her that i was NEVER being serious about anything EVER bc funny people don’t have the capacity to be serious, ever. apparently.

but anyway. there comes a point when you have to care about yourself more than keeping people on your friend/followers list out of obligation because you’ve known them for so long. if you can’t tolerate what they post or can’t have a civilised convo with them about what they post (mostly bc i never bothered with this girl bc i knew she’d NEVER listen to me bc haha funny friend can’t be sad or angry or argumentative!!!! say something funny. for thee is mine own personal fool)… just delete them. or if you feel like you can’t delete them, just take them out of your feed so that you can no longer see their triggering posts. same with sites like twitter with following.

and this goes for other toxic people in your life too. because my high school stalker/creeper tried to re-add me again a while ago now…… and i instantly blocked him; bc i’d seen from going through his profile that he hadn’t changed at all…. and that i knew he’d start harassing me to fuck him (he’s a massive incel type guy) etc like he always does. i knew after all my time in hospital and stuff over the last couple of years, that i have NO TIME AND ENERGY to deal with his manipulative bullshit anymore (and i never really did in the first place anyway tbh). so before he could even start a convo with me, i just straight up blocked him. i’m never letting him in again to hijack my mental health and my self-esteem.

and even though, yes when you get older, it’s still fun to try to sniff out the person who has deleted you all of a sudden (bc tbh here, i still do this for funsies)… in reality, you know deep down that you’ve lost connection with them. or let’s be real, you never liked them in the first place in school or wherever else you met them (could be work etc)…. that yeah. you were just waiting for them to delete/unfollow you anyway and you don’t care that they finally have.

and the weird social obligation where you feel like you have to keep this person on social media because you’ve known them for X amount of years is fucked up and dumb. because if amanda or victor is constantly belittling you or constantly posting upsetting shit and they do nothing about fixing their feed after you’ve told them that it bothers you (if you’ve done this), maybe it’s time to just straight up delete/block them anyway so you can hopefully no longer see or engage with the upsetting stuff that they keep posting. and i’m obvs deflecting the fact that i actually did engage with posts that made my mental health worse (hello 2011-2015 tumblr era black & white depression blogs) on here back in the day, but i no longer do that.

moreover, follower counts and friend counts mean fuck all. they’re arbitrary. and the fact that social media makes you feel like an asshole for deleting/unfollowing/blocking people from your feed/dash etc….. it’s ultimately important if their posts are fucking with your mental health and/or you can’t have decent convos with this person about anything because they make it wholly about themselves; or have labelled you as a certain friend role which means you can never X, when they can….. it’s better to dump them out with the trash where they belong by deleting/blocking them. these stupid as fuck numbers have nothing to fucking do with loyalty and other traits for irl friends. the idea of loyalty in a follower only matters when it becomes your career. because without “loyal fans/followers”, you don’t make a mark (or y’know you don’t get brand deals/sponsors etc).

and also overall, this post is a big fuck you for growing up on social media. it really does especially hurt people with high anxiety etc. it’s utterly exhausting and it’s exactly why i haven’t made the supposedly necessary 1000+ different social media accounts: from insta to tiktok to twitter to whatever the fuck the next one is going to be. i just have no energy to invest in having to spread myself thin over several SM accounts to see the following stats and the for you page on TT for example, feeding me videos that could inevitably make me feel worse. i actually actively have to cull the videos on my facebook watch feed, which i talk about every so often.

i did all this shit 10+ years ago, beating up myself over losing followers when i was only at like 500 or something and it also hurt when i was in my obsessive tumblr cleaning out phase, at just how many of my old followers, and sometimes mutuals, On This Here Hellsite (affectionate)™️ had deactivated over the years. it really shooketh me to my core, if the kids are still saying that. i don’t want to do that on other social media platforms, though.

and as i’ve stated in the past on here, it’s also exactly one of the reasons why i dropped out of the comms and media studies (triple major in marketing comms/PR/advertising) degree that i originally started undergrad uni with in 2015. i had no energy to expend to “professional” social media account follower counts- which we were being marked on as part of the course. i had no desire for engagement and the study of social media engagement in a professional space like i thought i did from using tumblr, at that point in time, for 4 years. but systematically and critically studying it seemed like a nightmare because why should i give a shit that people on my course aren’t engaging with my tweets and wordpress posts??? (like i know why but still).

BUT ANYWAY. this post went in so many different directions…. and i hope that if i have any younger followers, that they know that the younger millennials/older gen z (idek what the fuck i am) know the struggle of growing up online and that blocking/deleting etc people on the internet is good. and also that losing followers/friends etc is okay esp when you get older. unless of course you made this shit your career…. on this front, i have no idea how to help you on that tbh

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ok dgmw the girl that i talk about in this post is obvs at a better place now when i look at her fb occasionally #and i’m proud of her for that #but man she does still post some of those annoying strong woman posts and stuff like that #but i will never forgive the way she treated me when i was not doing well mentally #and i feel like i know that if i ever bother to reconnect with her she’ll treat me the exact same way anyway #so it’s better to never interact with her anyway #and not have her in my feed in case she gets in that really horrible mental space again…..#…..and ruins my mental health in either the short or long term again #and i’ll also never forgive her for laugh reacting at that status i set while in hospital that was all like #‘hey life i know i joke about wanting to die a lot it doesn’t mean that you actually dole it out to me though lol not lol’#after my body decided to shit out an illeus after my stomach surgery in 2020 #and i lost a litre of blood etc when that happened and stuff like that #like i was like a hair breadths from death and this bitch is all like ‘hehe funny friend don’t mean shit be my funny monkey’#and like no i was being serious learn to read between the lines #but also yeah i’ll admit that i shouldn’t’ve even set the status anyway #but i was sick etx in hospital and wanted support lmao #anyway. it is what it is z.

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thormanick · 1 month

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All the Kavetham/Haikaveh ideas I don't have capacity to currently write, a very detailed list:

(Which I am humbly placing here before you. Be warned: this post is an incredibly long one!)

1. Fatui!Kaveh AU, where the night before the meeting happens between Kaveh and Alhaitham at the tavern, Kaveh gets a deal from Fatui representatives to work on a huge project in Snezhnaya. Kaveh is sceptical about it, but decides to accept the offer during the dialogue with Alhaitham (seeing himself as a burden, Kaveh decides that he will cause more trouble to Alhaitham than the Fatui, thus he decides to accept their offer even if it seems too good to be true). He tells Alhaitham about his decision to leave for Snezhnaya, and so the two relatively amicably/peacefully part their ways (not without Alhaitham testing Kaveh's reasoning a bit, but Kaveh's resolve remains strong).

And so, Kaveh leaves for Snezhnaya, where he gets to work on several huge projects for the next several years under Sandrone. Most of them are related to construction, engineering and reverse-engineering of Khaenri'ahn and Khaenri'ah-inspired technology, and he gets barely any time to work on his personal projects (he's overworked and exhausted and doesn't get much time and opportunity to be creative; however, the payments are good and he's on his way to getting out of debt, which is practically the sole reason driving him forward. The projects get progressively more complicated and, in a way, unhinged - engineering military equipment is alright, but working with the remains of Khaenri'ahn technology, dead gods and such proves to be... mentally taxing. Everything happens very gradually though, so Kaveh does not immediately notice the true scale of where the Fatui are ready to go to achieve certain goals). Kaveh doesn't really like the work environment of the Fatui, but he does his best (the Harbingers creep him out whenever he gets to see them on a rare official occasion (he might specifically dislike Pantalone because the Harbinger keeps picking at him for his debt, given a chance), but Sandrone's a decent boss who is somewhat encouraging and invested in his work and personal projects. She might be especially interested in Mehrak's existence and operation). Overall, everything goes quite smoothly for Kaveh, even if he doesn't feel quite at home in Snezhnaya and is aware of how dangerous the Fatui can be. He does not consider himself to be paranoid, but the other shoe has to drop at some point - and that happens when the new Acting Grand Sage of Sumeru gets to visit Snezhnaya on a diplomatic mission (aka: Kaveh reconnects with Alhaitham & Co for the first time in what feels like forever). The situation gets complicated when Kaveh realizes that Sandrone encourages the reestablishment of his connection with Alhaitham specifically - and she never encourages an action if she doesn't directly contribute from it.

Feelings, emotions and shenanigans ensue.

TLDR: Kaveh's doing his best despite being restricted in his ways of work, prevented from realizing most of his creative projects and slowly but surely building emotional walls around himself because Fatui and Snezhnaya; Sandrone being a kind of decent boss with sorta good work ethic but horrendous morals who is not exactly a good influence on Kaveh's idealistic tendencies and guilt complex; Fatui being contextually horrifying but kinda normal coworkers if you don't look at them too close; Alhaitham trying his best as a political figure (Nahida help him) while also trying to get Kaveh to return home with him (because he misses him); the main conflict revolving around Kaveh and his life choices with Sandrone and Alhaitham being kind of foils to each other (with Sandrone gradually destroying Kaveh's idealistic morals and playing on his guilt to get the most out of his potential as an innovator, and with Alhaitham actively trying to resolve Kaveh's guilt and show him that, despite their arguments, Kaveh's idealism still has place in the world and can co-exist with other philosophies). There might or might not be some macguffin-esque Deshret relic that both Akademia and Fatui hunt for that eventually brings the whole crew back to Sumeru. Kaveh might or might not get a chance to meet a fragment of Deshret's spirit within the mentioned relic. But there definitely will be a happy end for everyone here (Deshret will make sure of it).

2. Calamity!AU. The new Cataclysm comes, enveloping all Seven Nations, and so Sumeru does its best to survive. The cities are ruined, and the people gather together in random places to survive. Alhaitham gets to live within one of the settlements, established by the Akademiya. While trying to survive the first wave of the new Calamity, he is also looking for Kaveh; after an argument between the two the architect left for an expedition to the Desert, right before the new Calamity began. Unfortunately, the news comes that his group should have been around Tunigi Hollow - one of the spots in Sumeru where the first wave of the new Calamity hit the hardest. There is no concrete information on whether Kaveh's group survived or not. Alhaitham, not loosing hope, does his best to find any information on Kaveh's whereabouts, but due to Sumeru becoming extremely dangerous to traverse and disjointed as a result of the new Calamity, the search stretches out for almost a decade.

One day Alhaitham helps a caravan, traversing the forests to get to one of the settlements, to fight off the monsters. Unexpectedly, Kaveh turns out to be one of the members of the caravan. Their reunion is almost cut short by the caravan's need to keep going, but Alhaitham convinces Kaveh to join him instead. The two return to the new Sumeru city settlement, where Alhaitham lives and works under the watch of Akademiya and Lord Kusanali. It appears that during his years of travels around the destroyed Sumeru Kaveh learned new ways of architectural construction that would be more efficient against the monsters, born by the Calamity. He also seems to behave quite differently, hardened by the experiences of the past years. Alhaitham proposes for Kaveh to stay with him in the city, and Kaveh accepts. The feelings, new routines, dealings with the changed versions of each other and attempts to find new pace of life in the new world ensue.

TLDR: The world might be ending and impossible to live in, but even so each new day is brighter when the person one loves is by their side.

3. Another Cataclysm!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham get assigned separate missions in the grander scheme of things created to prevent the coming of a new Calamity. The plan succeeds and the world remains safe, but not without heavy losses: amongst many others, Kaveh does not survive while carrying out his mission.

Decades pass as Alhaitham goes through his grieving process. Eventually, one evening on the anniversary of the Calamity's prevention, Alhaitham wanders to a place he and Kaveh used to visit together. A Ley Line disruption occurs, and he gets to see a glimpse of Kaveh through it. They have a conversation; the Ley Line apparition (a memory of Kaveh) is convinced that Alhaitham is from the future, and so they talk a lot about the Calamity, whether it was prevented, and about each other's futures. Alhaitham can't bring himself to tell Kaveh that he does not survive the Calamity, but he does tell Kaveh that his architectural legacy lives on. Kaveh commends Alhaitham on his achievements (though not an acting grand sage for a very long time, Alhaitham kept playing an important role throughout Sumeru's history, helping to keep it safe).

Eventually, their time runs out. Ley Line disorder starts gradually disappearing. Alhaitham urges Kaveh to be careful and stay safe, knowing that the Calamity (on Kaveh's side) is yet to come. Kaveh laughs and tells him that on his side, Alhaitham just told him the same words after they finished the debriefing session, related to the Calamity. He says that he was feeling very nervous, but that seeing future-Alhaitham made him convinced that they are on the right path.

And so, the Ley Line disorder disappears. Alhaitham spends some more time at the spot before returning home. Despite painful memories having been brought up, his heart feels a bit lighter.

TLDR: closure comes unexpectedly, takes many forms and does not erase the pain in an instant, but, nevertheless, it heals.

4. AU! where Kaveh and Alhaitham are both magical birds that can transform into humans (and half-humans).

They live together in the depths of Sumeru forest - a domain of a long lost God of Wisdom. Kaveh's feathers are rumoured to bring blessings, while Alhaitham's feathers, on the contrary, are said to bring bad luck or even curses. Humans, living at the edge of magical forest, kinda worship them, but also prefer not to interact with them, primarily because Alhaitham is not happy when others trespass on his lands, and because searching for Kaveh is extremely hard (he's often off working on his projects deep within the forest), and the magical forest is very dangerous on its own. So, the humans build their cities outside of the Sumeru forest, and Alhaitham and Kaveh peacefully live together in the depths of it.

Despite Kaveh and Alhaitham living together for a long time, their opinions on humanity are diametrically opposed: Alhaitham barely tolerates humans, finding them to be reckless, meddling, cowardly and deceitful; Kaveh, on the contrary, finds humans to be creative, inspiring, free and beautiful in their own way. Throughout the years, Kaveh manages to build somewhat of an amicable relationship with the humans, living at the edge of the forest: he learns more about their traditions and arts, while the humans receive his guidance and blessings in various matters of living, craftsmanship and arts. Eventually, Kaveh's knowledge and magical powers catch the eye of Lord Sangemah Bay, who resides in and governs one of the bigger settlements at the forest's border. She makes a deal with Kaveh that, despite providing him with valuable (in his eyes) experience of working with humans on some of his grandest architectural projects, costs him a lot - meaning he has to give away lots of his blessed feathers, which makes his remaining magic much weaker (and generally undermines his health for a bit). Alhaitham is not a huge fan of such approach (in his eyes, Kaveh is wasting his powers and time for nothing, endangering himself), and so a conflict between him and Kaveh breaks. As a result, Kaveh flees their home, secluding himself while he's focusing on other projects he finds curious. Kaveh keeps working with humans, and though Alhaitham certainly keeps an eye on Kaveh's wellbeing, he does not make it easy for humans to reach him. So what if there are new random magical seals, obstacles, almost-traps and riddles appearing here and there when people try to get to Kaveh? It's a magical forest, things happen! (Kaveh knows that Alhaitham does this on purpose, and Alhaitham knows that Kaveh knows, and it leads to them indirectly, and then directly bickering and arguing. The magical forest quite possibly grows very tired of them. Their friends Tighnari and Cyno certainly do, but alas.)

The new equilibrium, found by Alhaitham and Kaveh, is challenged once more when Kaveh leaves to the Lord Sangemah Bay's city to direct yet another one of his grand projects. They do not see each other for a long while. Despite all the challenges, Kaveh's relationship with Dori gradually grows stronger - the two value their partnership - and Kaveh ends up making friends amongst humans. However, not everyone is happy about Lord Sangema Bay's growing friendship with the "deity of blessings" personified. As some people come to despise her for her wealth, influence and ever growing power, so do they come to despise the bird of paradise.

When the project is complete, the time for celebration comes. Kaveh gets to attend a feast by Dori's side as a guest of honour, and is invited to stay the night in her palace before returning to the forest. Kaveh agrees: he's been spending all his days and nights at the building site, and resting a night before returning home would be nice. As the night goes on, however, Kaveh begins to feel weary and unwell - the new type of wine he was served did him no good. He excuses himself early for the night and, as soon as he gets to his bed, he's out cold.

After an undetermined amount of time (in what appears to be the middle of the night), Kaveh wakes up because of immense pain in his back.

As he gradually comes to his senses, he has a horrible realization: one of his wings was cut off when he was asleep. Alerting the guards and Dori yields no results: the intruder escaped, presumably with Kaveh's wing, and there are no traces of them left. While Kaveh gets immediately attended to, he goes in shock and, eventually, loses consciousness.

When the messengers form the city arrive to the forest, Alhaitham receives them reluctantly at first, but as soon as he hears of what happened, he rushes to the city. He ends up taking Kaveh back to the forest, hoping that its healing magic will help restore his wing. However, nothing seems to work: neither spells, nor the powers of nature, not even Tighnari's medicine. Though the wound is slowly healing, Kaveh remains unconscious for days. To get more information on what happened, Alhaitham returns to the city to question Dori together with Cyno (who's also to continue the investigation within the city once Alhaitham returns home), while Tighnari stays with Kaveh.

Though the questioning concludes that Dori knows nothing and is willing to assist in the search of the perpetrator, Cyno concludes that she was not thorough enough in ensuring Kaveh's safety and overall security of the celebration in general, revealing that Dori recklessly cut corners here and there. Furious, Alhaitham leaves Dori his cursed feather, giving her an ultimatum: she has to find the perpetrator and give them to Alhaitham to deal the final punishment. Until then, her city is doomed to slowly crumble into decay and oblivion. Dori accepts the deal.

Alhaitham returns to the forest to look after Kaveh, while Cyno remains in the city to continue the search. When Alhaitham comes back, Kaveh is finally awake. However, he remains extremely closed-off, practically a shadow of himself. The recovery process is slow and challenging, but Alhaitham does his best to support Kaveh in all ways that matter. Kaveh struggles with healing: the loss of a wing affected not only his body, but also his mental state and magic. He cannot transform, he can barely use any of his magical skills, and he cannot fly anymore, which hurts him most of all. It takes a while for Kaveh to get on his feet (quite literally), even longer to finally leave his room. He also feels guilty for being in Alhaitham's care, because he remembers all of the Alhaitham warnings about the humans he didn't listen to, and so lots of internal conflict ensues.

Meanwhile Alhaitham does all he can to try and navigate the situation. He looks after Kaveh's healing process; brings back his blueprints and equipment from Kaveh's place so that he has enough to work with if he wishes; he also (to the best of his ability) remodels their home to make it more accessible to Kaveh. Given that their natural method of moving around their house was flying (whether in form of birds of half-humans), Alhaitham now implements more adjustments for walking or climbing. (When Kaveh feels good enough to leave his room, he's amazed by what Alhaitham managed to achieve. He also helps fix some of the constructions, given he's the one with the experience in architecture.) Alhaitham and Kaveh grow closer, slowly unpacking and mending their relationship, turning it into something new and beautiful.

At the same time, Alhaitham continues to watch the forest borders - to make sure that no intruders interrupt Kaveh's recovery and their peaceful life together. One day he notices an interesting sight: a small, but beautiful shrine appeared right by the forest. He decides to investigate; upon approaching the shrine, he meets Nilou (whom he saw in the palace when he visited Dori). She explains to him that, after he and Kaveh left the city, a group of people decided to organize a shrine, dedicated to Kaveh, to pray for his recovery. Nilou explains that in their eyes it's the least they can offer for all the help that their city received in the past and as amends for the pain they have caused. Alhaitham warns her not to get any closer to the forest, but the action of people leaves a lasting impression on him.

Meanwhile, Cyno's investigation progresses. Cyno writes to Alhaitham that together with Dori they managed to find and capture the perpetrator. Questioning reveals no useful information, but Cyno suspects that there might be more to the attack on Kaveh than they anticipated. To uphold his end of the deal Alhaitham goes to the city to deliver the punishment to the attacker and to undo the curse he put on Dori's city. Before he leaves, Kaveh, scared of what might happen to Alhaitham, sews into his cloak a blessed feather for protection (because Alhaitham wouldn't accept it outright). While Alhaitham is away, Kaveh begins working on a new project: a mechanical wing.

When Alhaitham gets to the city, he is led to the cell where the attacker is being held. Cyno and Dori are by his side for the final questioning. The man - a mere mortal (with strange red-ish eyes), one of Dori's citizens - keeps talking in circles, making less and less sense with each new word. Alhaitham lets Cyno and Dori go before rendering the punishment. When the curse (one of Alhaitham's darkest yet) is finally prepared, suddenly, the tables are turned. The perpetrator attacks Alhaitham, but his movements seem unnatural, almost like those of a puppet. Alhaitham realizes, that the man is being controlled by someone with prowess for strong, incredibly dark magic that seems similar to that of the Desert. The strange puppet manages to overpower Alhaitham in a fight, but cannot harm him (due to the protection from Kaveh's feather). The perpetrator manages to escape, taking with him Alhaitham's cursed feather (they seemed to be pleased to receive it. Alhaitham fears to think what they will use it for).

Dori and Cyno pick up the investigation, with Cyno going straight to the Desert. Dori begins reinforcing the city (her people discover that Alhaithams curse (now lifted) awakened Miasma deep under the ground. The Miasma begins to slowly spread, seemingly in the direction of the Sumeru Forest). Cyno sends back a message, confirming that strong and dark magic seems to be gathering within the Desert, possibly for the purpose of destroying the magical forest.

Alhaitham manages to get back to Kaveh and tell him of what happened in the city. In order to be able to protect the forest together with Alhaitham, Kaveh doubles down on his efforts to create a mechanical working wing. Everything works, besides the golden feathers - they need to be blessed in order to allow the mechanism to work as intended, but Kaveh does not have enough power for it. Alhaitham takes a risk and brings the feathers to the shrine, created by Nilou and other humans, so that they could bless them for Kaveh. (They are short of one feather eventually, and Alhaitham gives Kaveh one of his own, his first blessed feather, to complete the wing.)

TLDR: Kaveh works on restoring his wing and faith in himself and humanity; Alhaitham learns that humanity is not always evil. Dori and Cyno discover that the escaped perpetrator (caugh controlled by Dottore caugh) used Kaveh to get to Alhaitham to gain his cursed feather for completing some sort of ancient ritual to unseal the forbidden knowledge magic deep within the Desert in roder to unleash it on the magical forest, slumbering God of Wisdom and human cities. Kaveh learns to curse his feathers (while opposing Dottore in a final fight), and Alhaitham learns to bless his. Humans and Sumeru Forest continue to coexist peacefully. Alhaitham and Kaveh live together happily ever after.

5. Pacific Rim!AU, where Kaveh and Alhaitham used to be pilots of a Jaeger, but during one of their battles they suffered too much damage. In order to save Alhaitham and what remains of their Jaeger, Kaveh takes most of the damage by severing already unstable connection between Alhaitham and Jaeger's system. Both barely survive the encounter, but meanwhile Alhaitham manages to recover fast, the damage Kaveh has taken leaves him in a critical condition, eventually resulting in him being unable to ever pilot a Jaeger ever again (and putting many new restraints on his usual daily life).

As soon as Kaveh comes to his senses, the two have a huge fight about Kaveh's rash decision, and eventually break off their friendship. They don't see each other for a long, long time.

As the time goes on, Kaveh learns how to live with the changes that his body sustained with the help of his service dog Mehrak. Eventually he takes on a job at one of the Jaeger construction facilities (together with his friend Tighnari), studying Kaiju and creating new Jaeger modifications - though no Kaiju has been seen in the past several years, the world is still afraid of their return.

When the suspicion of the new Kaiju appearance arises, new pilot recruits and ex-pilots are summoned to the facility. There, Kaveh meets Alhaitham for the first time in years. After their fallout, Alahitham resigned from piloting Jaegers, yet now he had no choice but to return to train new recruits (and possibly resume his role of a Jaeger pilot). Now once again the two have to work together as a part of a team in face of approaching danger, trying to resolve their past conflicts and overcome their fears and insecurities along the way (when deep down they simply want to keep each other safe).

TLDR: Kaveh & service animal Mehrak is a neat concept I'd love to see more of, just as a concept in general. I think this one could be an interesting story idea centered mostly around Kaveh's day to day life. Additionally, Alhaitham who used to be only drift compatible with Kaveh but now suddenly discovers he's drift compatible with Cyno. I need more Cyno & Alhaitham camaraderie I think it would do them lots of good (at least in this specific AU setting lol).

6. Oxenfree!AU where Kaveh and Alhaitham are two ex-best friends turned reluctant coworkers (photo-journalist and journalist respectively) working on writing a piece about the disappearances of a group of teenagers that happened at the Edwards Island several years prior (timeline somewhere between the first and the second games). The radio shenanigans ensue, making the two face their past, possible futures and, most importantly, their present. (In Oxenfree tuning into certain radio sequences can temporarily mess up time-space shenanigans, just fyi).

TLDR: I just think that this setting could facilitate some character exploration that would be very fun.

7. Modern MermanKaveh!AU, post-fallout, where it's a little bit more about haunting Alhaitham (and the narrative), than being a merman. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, Kaveh drowns one day, trying to save someone from the water. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, he doesn't really die, being stuck in between (existence and death, normal life and the necessity to live in water). Kaveh manages, for quite a while even!

But of course Alhaitham has to come back and turn his world upside down once again.

TLDR: can you tell Alhaitham's quote about drowning stuck with me huh (and I made it literal lol). On a serious note... Idk, vibes??? I want to see the "stuck in the middle" Kaveh, whatever that entails. Some existential explorations. And the development of his relationship with Alhaitham, of course. // Kaveh is a merman unable to fully live the life he used to have, and Alhaitham doesn't know that he survived (for a while), alternatively "let me help to save you from metaphorical and literal drowning" Alhaitham and "I learned to live like this, this is what my norm now looks like" Kaveh.

8. Another Modern MermanKaveh!AU/DrownedGhostKaveh!AU, because I apparently have no self-control (I feel like I should also clarify that whenever I mention a mermaid, I think of them more as of ghosts of drowned people and less as mermaids-mermaids, the half-human half-marine creature ones). This idea was initially prepared for chili/zhongchi but it's been sooooooooooooooooooo long and I still haven't done anything substantial for it so I'm borrowing it from myself for myself and tweaking it for kavetham because I figured it could fit them. So here it goes,

Alhaitham is a scientist/marine biologist that moves from the city to a much smaller port town, getting himself a place in a local partially repurposed lighthouse. Kaveh is a merman, who has been dead for a long while and who's been living within local waters ever since he drowned. Alhaitham leads a very isolated life, going through a rather rough patch emotionally (maybe a badly ended past relationship and relocation from an established group of friends to a remote place brought up past negative emotions related to loss that were bottled up for a while. who knows, not me). Anyways, Alhaitham's not doing too well, but seaside walks help him unwind, even if for a short periods of time. During one of such walks, he finds an old pendant washed ashore. He picks up his find, hoping to do some research on it outside of his work time (because research is his fun-time).

He expects this to be a brief excursion into local history. He does not expect to become haunted by the ghost of a man to whom this pendant belonged to way back when.

Kaveh, in turn, is extremely excited to finally, finally be able to get out of the sea to the surface. He intends to stay ashore as long as possible and, well, if he just so gets to amuse himself by haunting a grumpy marine biologist that refuses to believe in merpeople, ghosts of drowned and other supernatural occurences - who's he to say no?

TLDR: this AU can go two ways (in my eyes): the happy ending way and probably more gothic-horror-story-esque ending. So, Alahitham is cursed to be haunted by Kaveh: for a while he's the only one who can see him, with Kaveh being something akin to a ghost. However, the longer Kaveh haunts Alhaitham, the more human he becomes (others can see him, he cannot phase through walls anymore, etc.). The curse in itself goes something like this: the cursed thing, after being picked up/taken in, cannot be thrown away and will always come back. The ghost, tied to the haunted thing, shall haunt whoever picks the cursed thing (the thing should be tied to the ghost, but may not necessarily belong to them) and drain their life energy. The ghost can become free and human again if the haunting goes long enough and they kill the human who picked the cursed object in the end during a very specific time that doesn't occur too often (proverbial blue moon, idk). If they don't kill the human and decide to let them go, then the ghost will seize to exist and the human will regain their strength. (An alternative option to the ghost dying for a less angsty au: the ghost voluntarily takes back the cursed object and returns to the place where they died, but then they will never be able to haunt anyone ever again. The effect of the curse on the haunted remain, but much weaker).

In this case, let's say Kaveh and Alhaitham stay by each other's side from half a year to a year, idk. They grow closer, eventually becoming friends and maybe more (the usual kavetham shenanigans Kaveh falls first but Alhaitham falls harder). Alhaitham's mental state gradually improves, yet overall he becomes weaker because of the curse (to the point that it becomes a serious concern), which Kaveh blames himself for. The appointed time approaches (both Kaveh and Alhaitham are in on the details of the curse), and Kaveh, seeing it as an opportunity to set Alhaitham free, manages to separate himself from Alhaitham. Kaveh is ready to return to the sea/merge with it (ah yes the classic Little Mermaid influence does anybody feel it lol). However, Alhaitham sees through his plan and arrives just in time to stop him. They have a confrontation. Eventually, they manage to lift the curse (as you can see I have not figured out exactly how this can happen but! it definitely can!) with Kaveh becoming human again and Alhaitham regaining his health. The two continue to live together happily ever after.

The other scenario is practically the same, but it's more ghothic? and abstract (and probably more suitable for the og pairing it was made for, but i'll throw it in anyways). I have not engaged with gothic literature much and thus don't have much experience in how it works/how to write it, but the idea is that Kaveh is more of a projection of Alhaitham's grief than a ghost fo a drowned person (in other words, he's definitely a ghost, but his presence is also much more symbolical). The story follows quite similar beats, except the setting of the curse is a bit different: it's more of a "kill first or be killed" thingy with a deadline. Kaveh earnestly tries to drown Alhaitham at first through various means, but the more time they spend together, the more Kaveh sees of Alhaitham's life and pain and feels sympathetic for him. Despite the curse, Kaveh tires to help Alhaitham in various ways; and it works! Alhaitham gradually begins to feel better; the two grow closer to each other (more in a platonic way).

So now the precedent is that though Alhaitham's overall doing better, the curse still preys on him, hindering his life in various ways that become more and more serious/dangerous (the curse's deadline approaches, and it tries to survive the best way it can through Kaveh's influence on Alhaitham). Eventually, Kaveh lets Alhaitham go, merging with the sea (once again, yes, it was partially inspired by the Little Mermaid). Alhaitham realizes what happened and tries to look for Kaveh, but it is in vain.

Eventually, life goes on.

Bonus Elden Ring AU (because guess who suddenly went on a lore video watching spree): Kaveh is a craftsman and one of the inhabitants of Castle Morne who managed to escape before it was overrun by Misbegotten. He's a follower of St. Trina and Miquella (he doesn't follow Miquella at first, but slowly he comes to suspect that the two are one and the same). After escaping from Castle Morne, he finds his way to Jarburg, where he is welcomed to stay and be the new Potentate.

Alhaitham is from a distant branch of Carian royal family and a scholar at the Academy of Raya Lucaria. Quite possibly explored an area of studies similar to Sellen's. Eventually he separates himself from both Academy and his family, becoming a wandering scholar.

The two meet somewhere nearby Jarburg when Kaveh gets ambushed by the same people who were trying to get to Alhaitham. The two fight them off. Kaveh, trying to help injured Alhaitham, leads him to Jarburg. The two continue living together there ever since (not without hiccups, but they're doing their best).

TLDR: this one is short and very simple because I just started diving into the Elden Ring's lore, but I just. Really wanted to make some AU for them. I also desperately wanted it to be peaceful and happy one despite it being a seeming impossibility for anything dark souls/elden ring related, but one can dream. If I were to make this one darker I'd probably expand on the duality of their two characters here, and how Alhaitham probably used to conjure spells on humans (with gaining knowledge being his sole life purpose for a long time) and has challenges with comprehending the world outside of a framework of pure logic, and how Kaveh gets an increasing tendency of escaping to the dream world/wherever Miquella is in order to alleviate his mental turmoil (maybe he witnessed too much during his escape from the Castle), and how the two have opposing perspectives on the idea of worshipping gods, and- like, there's a lot that can be done. But I also just really really really want them to simply be happy together in a jar village, leading a peaceful life.

That's it for now! Thank you for reading all of this, I can't commend your patience enough if you got to the end of this list!!!✨🎉✨

Maybe in the future I will unpack some of these aus. who knows.

#if you made it till the end you're officially a hero #sorry for so many words lol #genshin impact #afinna explores teyvat #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact alhaitham #kavetham #haikaveh #alhaitham x kaveh #genshin impact writing #genshin impact writing ideas #magical birds au my beloved (can you tell lol)#maybe one day #one day i might write it #i was sure i'd never write the inquisitioner x witch kavetham AU but guess what #istg the first chapter should be ready sometime this year. probably. i hope. i dream of it...#pacific rim au is also something i just cradle gently in my hands. weird apocalyptic-esque setting but make it more a piece of life thing #in order to better unpack the relationships between people and various internal turmoils #and the fatui au!!! i want fatui to be weird menacing coworkers that end up being weirdly decent!!! sometimes!!!#idk i just think kaveh and sandrone could be a great work duo #and just the interactions with others could be sooooo much fun #anyways hope these ideas are. decent #also lowkey i need more dori-kaveh-alhaitham shenanigans #like alhaitham is canonically banned from seeing dori as far as i remember [well. blacklisted from the market or something similar]#granted it's probably bc he's with the Akademiya but like. Are We Sure [glances at Kaveh's debt]#anyways i just think there can be some exploration done here lol #also a hot take probably but. we need more 'Dori the Scary Businesswoman that Seems Inhumane But is Actually Wise'#like I want her to push others to their limits for mutual/personal gain BUT doing so knowing exactly when to stop and not cross the line #she is The Monkey's Paw for people who come to her. anyways i just find her interesting #yay that's it thanks for reading all of it have a great day byeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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fromtheseventhhell · 9 months

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Saying that non-conforming female characters don't face as much misogyny as their "feminine" counterparts is so funny cause literally the misogyny in their treatment is more overt because they aren't staying "in their place" like men think they should. The disdain for women + misogynistic societal ideals are so much more blatant in male characters interacting with these women. Countless times they are, in essence, told they need to sit down, shut up, and know their place but somehow that translates into them having "masculine privilege". I can only assume that people with this take haven't actually read the books and only get their information from second-hand sources.

#Men actually love it when the group they're oppressing doesn't conform with their restrictive measures that's exactly how things work 🙄#George saying that his non-conforming female characters were outcasts was really just overkill cause this is explicitly stated in the books #It's such a stupid take to have or try to argue cause there's literally no basis for it anywhere in the books #the inherit misogyny in othering women for not conforming to a misogynistic and patriarchal society though...I have to laugh #Coming from the so-called feminists in fandom make a career of throwing female characters under the bus to prop up their faves #Brienne literally gets told not to go crying if she gets raped because she's asking for it by /acting like a man/#and her mistreatment by both genders for her looks and behavior is well documented in her POV and those who interact with her #Asha gets denied her claim for being a women and repeatedly treated like an idiot for pushing for it anyways #Arya is an outcast in her own family and her behavior is lamented by her father mother and sister lol #I would just really like to know where this supposed privilege comes in??? where is it actually at??#cause it doesn't get them better treatment...better access to their claims...security from being assaulted...so where exactly is it?#just another fandom idea that can never be backed up but people treat like an absolute fact anways #obligatory this isn't me that feminine female characters don't face misogyny cause people love misinterpreting my points #asoiaf #brienne of tarth #asha greyjoy #arya stark #daenerys targaryen #fandom nonsense

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tambourineophelia · 3 months

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in addition to that, remember how i found out my ex has a kid through his whatsapp icon??

(the kicker is, i only looked at it because my fucking grandma told me on the phone: oh you know how i kept his number, because I always thought...* well looking at his new picture I might just delete it now...)

well at christmas i wanted to send myself some pictures i took with my mum's phone (with permission of course) and what do i see? she TEXTED HIM MERRY CHRISTMAS. we broke up over three years ago! ma'am this man didn't even send you a fucking condolence card when dad died! he does NOT get a merry christmas!!

so I told her that. she was a little snappy about it, which annoyed me because sorry, this is -my- old heart break, I'm not texting your exes either?? (or my ex's parents for that matter) but then! she said: but I DO wonder what kid he's holding there...

and I was like mum, what the heck, that's obviously HIS kid, what other child would that be

and she was SO CONFUSED. MOTHER! WHAT

#personal #sorry i had to share this it was SUCH an interaction #it's like she didn't realise that yeah just because her fail daughter's life didn't progress in any direction except uh downwards since 201 #doesn't mean it's like that for everyone else #maybe she understood a little better why i was so sensitive over her texting him #i ALSO had assumed my granny had already gossiped it all the way to her (i know she did to my brother)#but apparently she decided this was the moment for confidentiality??#anyways what child looking JUST LIKE HIM could he POSSIBLY hold in his arm ON HIS WHATSAPP PROFILE that he hadn't changed in YEARS before #*i am also so tired of this 'well maybe you could get back together one day!!' that's always implicit in keeping their number #or texting them seasonal greetings... because a) he just fucking dumped me so like it's not like i had any choice in the matter back then #BUT i got over it and i want to be over it and i want it to be in the past #and b) it's kind of reminding me how back then everyone always congratulated me on how great he was (spoiler he wasn't lol)#which just made me feel like i was 'lucky' to get with a guy 'like that' when i am.... not like that you know #(my other grandmother is soooooo much worse with this she literally told me i will never find a man as good MA'AM YOU MET HIM ONCE)#and i would like people to i dunno believe in my loveability a little more #especially.......... my own mother............

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tvrningout-a · 6 months

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alright!! my muse lists have been updated if you want to take a peek. i did some rearranging so that most kny muses are now tertiary and unavailable for new dynamics. the only current exception is kaiya bc i have a jjk verse figured out for her, and i'm in the process of brainstorming an original verse ( maybe related to the dorverold lore ) -- i just have to choose what will be her main verse in the end.

muses who were completely removed are: chinatsu, sei, zenitsu, tamako, arata, akane, makiko, naoki, and paige. a reminder that if we have established dynamics that we developed, i will continue to write these characters for you!! but the fact is that most of these dorks hardly ever get picked up bc i have little inspiration or they aren't requested, so it's time to retire them for now.

i've kept ky.ojuro, ka.igaku, te.ngen, and su.ma simply bc they're dear to me and i love the few dynamics i do have with them, and hyouka and satsuki will slowly but surely be reworked for jjk, i'm thinking. i've already done most of the work for hyouka since she's got a verse already. and while he isn't on the list yet bc his bio is a wip, kojirou will be officially added over time. you're free to request him/ask about him until then bc i know i'll probably be slow to get his bio done.

i feel like i spoke way too much for this update :' ) but i feel a bit lighter now that my roster isn't so long, and hopefully this makes interacting a lil easier going forward!

#i do love having choices but when i don't have muse for a good chunk of those choices #that means i need to let go of some muses #and i don't know if it's really a matter of certain muses being more popular vs. my own writing preference leading to #more interactions for other muses #like kaiya was always my favorite to write out of her sei and chinatsu so ofc i wrote her the most and was able to imagine her in other au'#i never fully connected to tamako despite putting a lot of time into creating an original breathing technique for her so i rarely wrote her #etc etc #i think others' preferences play into it too but ultimately my own connection with a muse is what's gonna determine their activity #anyway i feel better and maaaaybe will attempt some writing #we'll see #i'm tempted to work on background stuff like disconnecting chiyo's bio from haikyuu and writing kojirou's bio #get ready to ramble | ooc

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cuteniaarts · 28 days

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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:

Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #lok malina #still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now #and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that #don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before #to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021 #because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing #but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence #anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he #*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character #for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop #I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like #I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her #if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet #okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself #lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer #about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long #this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh #I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out #*surprising #less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know #anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous #her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this #and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning #I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb #okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

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selfawxre · 1 year

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posting separately as to not hijack flowers' post but realising that some of you guys may also not be as into ddlc and not know all the nuances and random tidbits about it and specifically monika. like, for example, the fact that monika's piano playing is a metaphor for her hacking the game/changing the code, the fact that every time one of the girls is acting particularly out of character she isn't present in the room, only to rush back in like "oh what happened? i had nothing to do with this!!", the times where she gets absolutely steamrolled in act 2 by yuri and natsuki and is so clearly taken aback despite the fact she's the one fucking with their codes to make them aggressive enough to do that, etc.

also just, all the lines in act 1 where she's so blatantly talking about her sentience but that you wouldn't pick up on unless you already knew she was sentient. like she is not even trying to hide it from the beginning, you just know when she talks about her "epiphany" she's giggling to herself like "oh they're never gonna believe what i mean by that"

#📁 : // ⦗ out of character ⦘#📁 : // ⦗ musings ⦘#monika doesn't really have anything as funny or jarring as the piss poem or any of yuri's uh. quirks. but she's so interesting to me #like when u pay attention to her specifically while playing ddlc #the amount of out of pocket jokes she makes even in act one #of course we all know “you really left her hanging”#but throughout the week she's like “oh it would be a SHAME if something happened to sayori aha ha ha”#and of course her jokes and jabs in act two are a lot more overt #still i love her and her fucked up sense of humour #i also didn't pick up on the times she's late being her actively messing with the other girls until recently #like the day after the argument between yuri and natsuki in act two she's specifically late bc she's making natsuki forget the argument #and of course there's all the times she makes yuri and natsuki do scares while she's “off-camera”#like you'll notice she's never present when the really big scares happen and by the end of act 2 she's almost constantly late into the room #also the fact that she messes with the girls to make herself look better but is still clearly hurt when they take it out on her #one could argue she's making herself sympathetic on purpose but like #she doesn't even get a CHANCE to interact with mc once yuri's at her worst #and she always says she's not the best coder so i fully believe she's like “oh i fucked that up” and bit off more than she could chew #anyway she means everything to me <3

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seilon · 11 months

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so the antihistamine i took yesterday was not an antihistamine but, in fact, off-brand paxil from mexico. so. that explains a lot

#sjhgfhgjdhdjhgfhsj #im assuming it interacted with my welbutrin and thats what's made me so fucking Sick #im honestly amused more than anything though hgdjfghdfjh this is so stupid #i had the intuitive sense to Not take my welbutrin today just in case and i think that was a good call #basically my mom couldnt get her meds in time for the cruise she went on and so she had to get some while in mexico after the cruise starte #and she forgot to take them out of the allergy meds box she was keeping them in just to not lose them and whatnot #so. yeah #tbh it probably wouldnt have been an issue cause ive taken SSRIs before (lexapro) and theyve never bothered me like this #but whatever the hell is up with welbutrin. the finnicky little bitch it is. i think did not mix well with paxil. or with paxil And adderal #at the same time #plus some ibuprofen and excedrin in there for good measure. and caffeine from coffee. and. yeah. unintentional bad drug cocktail #anyway im feeling... a little better now i think. at least better than last night when my whole body was shaking and my teeth were clamped #painfully shut because otherwise theyd chatter violently and all the muscles in my neck were strained and my vision was wonky and #my stomach was upside down and i was trying not to throw up through waves of nausea and so on and so on. fun stuff #now im just sorta shaky and a little lightheaded and my stomach is still......meh...... but not nearly as bad as yesterday #kibumblabs

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wiinterbunny · 8 months

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👵🏻🏠🪆🎀

#im having a really hard time accepting that my grandma isn't getting better #she is old. she is tired and in pain. she is in her last phase now....#like she isnt just sick and will get better. she is close to dying #and i dont wanna accept it #in my head she's supposed to slowly get better and revert back to the lively old lady she was a few years ago #:(((((#i just.. dont want to face reality. but she is dying. she could die any moment. i dont want her to #im sad also because when she's dead i wont have a chance to get a better relationship to her #my mom and her have a very conplicated bond. and my grandma has been .. not so easy to deal with #so i never really had a super close relationship to her #and on top of that.. my avpd makes it so so hard for me to interact w ppl normally. theres a wall between me and most ppl #whenever we see her i can barely talk to her anyway. even if i want to be chill and talk to my grandma #theres so much i havent gotten to talk to her about #but i cant get better and fix it because she will be dead #and also i love her bc she's my grandma. i just dont want her to die #but shes just getting worse and worse

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chisatowo · 2 years

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Less ocs that are canon character's partners or siblings more ocs that are canon characters annoying younger cousin they've met like twice /j

#rat rambles #oc posting #band posting #anyways momoko is on the mind lol #Ive said she and mashiro are cousins before but to elaborate a lil theyve only interacted a few times but momoko kinda hates her #mainly because their parents pushed them rly hard achedemically and was constantly comparred to mashiro who was comparatively much better #they started trying to rebel against that pressure and tried to find smth that they could do without worrying abt other's expectations #and that lead to her finding a passion for music and making new friends who also loved music #them 4 would practice playing and create songs together but never rly went beyond that although they certainly planned to at some point #but then when morfonica became a thing and started doing more live performamces momoko kinda freaked out #she felt like mashiro was gonna steal music from her and it was gonna be like school all over again with mashiro being the score to meet #so she decided to push the band to try performing for real and while they were fine and even excited to do it as time went on they started #to notice that momoko seemed to be having less and less fun with their music and started to worry #after talking to her abt it briefly it freaks momoko out too since she didnt rly notice and she didnt want to stop liking music #with her bandmates help she starts trying to find out what was holding her back and although she tried hard to not let the conclusion be #made it was pretty apparent to her that it was largely because of mashiro and how she felt the need to be objectively better than her #which yknow isnt rly possible with music lol #long story short momoko eventually started trying to work through some of the issues and while shes not completely over it shes gained a #begrudging respect for morfonica and mashiro and is trying to repair their image of mashiro in their mind #I have some light thoughts abt how the other 3 would interact with morfonica but thats not strictly canon to their story since I think #tsukushi would explode if yuriko talked to her yuriko would think shes so cool and mature and shed praise tsukushi sm #anyways I should rly sleep now gn

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ghost-with-a-teacup · 11 months

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𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader

Summary: Everyone at HQ was convinced there was something going on between you and Miguel. Just...no one knew what. But one group of spiders were determined to figure it out.

Warnings: None! Just a lot of goofiness and a whole lot of fluff :3

When you have a superhuman with superior senses, they’re bound to be perceptive to their surroundings. Now when you have an entire lobby the size of multiple football fields filled with superhumans with superior senses, very few things will go unnoticed.

It’s why people very quickly realize that you and Miguel have…something between the two of you. It’s just that no one is quite sure what.

Camaraderie? Maybe, you were one of the first spiders to join the society.

Friendship? Perhaps, but it was known that Miguel wasn’t one to do friends. Not with the amount of loss he has gone through.

A relationship? This one seemed the most unplausible. Miguel was, well, Miguel. Stoick, cold and calculating. Meanwhile, you were you.

You had a light that drew people in, kindness that knew no bounds and warmth like a fire on a cold winter’s day.

Everyone knew the saying ‘opposites attract’, but it was like comparing night and day with the two of you. Regardless, a small little group within the society were set on trying to figure the two of you out.

“Ain’t no way the two are together, she’s too good for him!” Hobie argues, his legs kicked up on the table in front of him.

“I don’t know, maybe that’s why they work together. Because she makes him better?” Miles says, but his tone of voice failed to hide his skepticism.

“I think you should just leave the two of them be. Besides, what happens if you figure it out or not anyway?” Peter says, feeding Mayday as he does. Immediately a chorus of arguments breaks out from the group.

“OKAY! Okay, forget I asked,” he says with a shake of his head, while Mayday just laughs at the commotion.

They spot the two of you walking into the cafeteria making conversation none of them could make out.

“Look at them,” Gwen says, “have you ever seen the guy happier than he is with her?” she asks, and Hobie snorts.

“C’mon mate, you call that happy? Mans got that frown tattooed on his face, can he even be happy?” he says, but they all continue watching intently.

You glance over to the table they were surrounding, and they all brush off your gaze pretending as though they weren’t just studying the two of you like specimens under a microscope.

You wave your hand, a bright smile on your face while Miguel only glances over for a moment before continuing to walk. You jog to catch up to him, grabbing a tray and picking up things you wanted for lunch.

They watch as they see Miguel pick up the empanada, the last one left. He pauses for a split second, holding it before turning to place it on your tray. Almost as though they were straight out of a cartoon, they freeze at the interaction.

You seem to be slightly surprised as you, saying something to him but he only brushes you off before continuing on.

“Did…that just happen?” Pavitr asks. Everyone at HQ was aware of Miguel’s fondness for the food (even if he did hurl one right at Miles when they first met), there was no way he would give one away so easily for just anyone, right?

“Somebody pinch me,” Gwen says, and Hobie jumps at the request.

“OW!”

Miguel never lets anyone help him out when he’s injured. That was just a known fact. He could walk into HQ battered and bruised and wouldn’t even look in the infirmary’s direction once. After depending on himself for so long, he wasn’t going to stop now. Besides, what were First Aid kits for after all?

The only way he was going to the infirmary was if someone dragged his unconscious body there themselves.

Well, unless you were there.

“Miguel O’Hara I swear to god, you better get your ass to the infirmary or so help me I will tie you up and drag you through the halls myself,” you say sternly as you both reemerge in the Lobby. The rest of the Spiders there continued with what they were doing, but their attention was zeroed in on you both.

“I’m fine,” he says, glaring at you as if trying to say ‘Just try’. Had you been anyone else, you would have backed down by now but you didn’t.

“You wanna test me right now? That was a nasty hit, I will not be letting it get infected under my watch,” you retort, and he puffs.

“This is nothing, I’ve dealt with worse,” he scoffs, and in an instant your finger shoots out, making contact with the side that got hit with the anomaly’s flames. Miguel can’t help the sharp intake of breath as the pain from the impact hits him.

Your eyebrow raises, an expression of disbelief on your face before it softens. Murmuring softly, you say something that only he can hear.

For a moment he studies your face before sighing, finally relenting. With a triumphant smile, you place a hand on the man’s broad back, leading him towards the infirmary with a gentle but firm hand.

There, Pavitr is laying in bed recovering from an awry mission of his own. The doctors had ordered bedrest for the next 2 hours at least. Superior healing or not, they were not going to risk it. So there he lay, slinging his golden bangles up and down bored before he hears the two of you come in.

“Mr. O’Hara-" a doctor’s voice can be heard, but he is quickly interrupted.

“She’s got it from here,” he says, Miguel’s tone final. A small “yes, sir” can be heard before footsteps fade away, the doctor’s office door closing once more.

“You know, you should really let the professionals help you,” your voice can be heard.

“You dragged me here, you can deal with the consequences,” he says, and you just laugh fondly before your voices quieten, murmuring too quietly for Pavitr to hear.

Curiosity builds as he recalls the conversation he and his friends had, and before he can stop himself he shifts silently to the side, just enough to be able to catch a glimpse of you both from the small gap between the hospital curtain and the wall.

There, Miguel sat on the bed, a disgruntled expression on his face but his eyes were soft as he watched you fuss over his side.

He only watches for a few seconds before pulling away, this being a clear invasion of privacy, and his boss’ privacy no less.

It wasn’t going to stop him from telling everyone else though.

“This is a bad idea. This is a really, really bad idea,” Miles says, grasping onto the ceiling like his life depended on it.

“It’s only a bad idea if we get caught, so Shut. Up,” Gwen says sharply, hanging from her place on the ceiling as they watched the fight from above.

Gwen had come up with the mighty fine idea of sneaking into a mission between the two of you. It wasn’t often that it happened, Miguel more often than not only went on missions with only Lyla by his side. But when he needed a partner, it was always you.

“Why did you have to bring me with you,” he whispers, “Miguel already doesn’t like me. He doesn’t need more of a reason to.”

“Because I needed backup and you can turn invisible. And let’s be real, Hobie would be laughing his ass off getting us caught, Peter would bring Mayday which would get us caught, and Pavitr is already on a mission, now shhh,” she whispers, turning back to watching the scene below.

You swung from pillar to pillar in the abandoned factory with practiced ease, a carefree laugh escaping your lips as Miguel stands on the ground fiddling with his watch.

“The anomaly’s last known location was here,” Lyla’s voice echoes out, and you let out a sigh.

“Why can’t villains have easy powers. Maybe a giant blob that is easy to take down? Why do they have to be so complicated? What’s this one again, a freaky shadow monster?” you think out loud.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Miguel retorts, glancing up toward you for a moment before turning back to Lyla. “Do a scan of the place, will you?”

“What do we say~” Lyla responds, and you giggle softly while Miguel huffs.

“Please,” he mutters.

“What was that?”

“Please, Lyla,” he says a little louder now, irritation growing in his voice.

“Already done,” the AI snickers, and he groans out loud as your laughter bounces off of the walls, a fist held out for Lyla to bump.

“The two of you will be the death of me,” he says lowly.

“Oh, don’t be like that, grumps. You’d be too stubborn to die,” you retort before tensing up, the hairs on the back of your neck rising with the familiar feeling of your heightened senses at work. The moment you sling yourself up is the moment a loud thud sounds out from where you once stood.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that the anomaly was in the far right corner,” Lyla says before disappearing.

“I really need to do a rewrite of her code,” Miguel mutters to himself.

In your previous spot emerges a dark figure, plumes of smoke emerging and dissipating from its form and allowing it to disappear into the shadows with ease.

With a simple nod, you get to work. Like a well-oiled machine, you work in practiced synchrony, bounding across the walls and slinging webs.

And just like that the anomaly is captured, the force field around it effectively trapping it for the ride back to HQ so it can be sent back to its own universe.

“That was…kinda lame,” you snicker, pulling off your mask

“Told you so,” Miguel says as he opens up a portal for you both, dragging the anomaly behind him.

“Don’t say that to me,” you pout.

“What, can’t handle the truth?” he retorts, a smirk playing across his lips as your bickering voices fade through the portal.

“…was that a smile,” Gwen asks as she watches the spot where they both had stood.

“Was that what it was?” Miles asks, a shudder racking through his body.

It was late at night at the HQ, and at this time everyone else had already gone back to their own universes. The few that lingered were the ones finishing up after a late-night mission.

Or, you were Peter B. Parker frantically searching through the kitchen for a bottle of milk for Mayday after a playdate with a select few spiders that went on for way longer than expected.

Mayday was an easy baby. Always happy and smiling, but that all disappears when she was hungry and you did not want a spider baby on a rampage.

“Alright, alright, give Daddy a few seconds to warm up your milk please?” Peter pleads as Mayday continues to babble angrily, crawling all over him.

She pauses for a moment, attention drawn elsewhere as she hangs off of her father’s back before leaping.

“Hey, lil spider!” You say with a laugh, catching her in your arms. “What are you doing here so late?” you ask.

“Playdate with Miles, Gwen and Hobie. Time really flew and she refused to leave until now,” Peter sighs tiredly, and you pat him on the back before putting her up onto your shoulders. “What are you doing here so late?”

You shrug, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.

“Working late. Like you said, time really flew,” you say, but Peter knew that wasn’t the full truth.

“Working so hard that you need two cups of coffee?” he asks, holding out the bottle for Mayday to take, which is what she does happily as she snuggles up in her father’s arms.

“What can I say, caffeine doesn’t really work on me,” you grin, pouring the coffee from the machine. “Goodnight, Peter, Mayday,” you say, ruffling her red hair fondly.

And as quickly as you appeared, you disappear.

People didn’t often disturb the big boss man Miguel when he was working. Not if you wanted to stay on his good side.

It was even less often that someone barges into his room full of screens as he monitors the Archno-Humanoid Polymultiverse, let alone a group of them.

“We heard you talking to someone! And laughing,” Gwen says hesitantly as if she couldn’t even believe it herself. But she was invested in figuring out what the deal was between the two of you now.

“Well, do you see anyone around?” Miguel deadpans, his arms wide and gesturing around broadly. You could barely stifle the giggle as you sat on a beam high up on the ceiling, going unnoticed.

“W-well, no…But!” she says, and Miguel raises an eyebrow which makes Gwen shrink in her spot slightly before recovering. “But we heard you. There was someone here, wasn’t there?”

Hobie, ever the perceptive one tracks his eyes along the ceiling before spotting you swinging your legs with an amused look on your face. It seemed as though no one else had noticed though.

Miguel watches Hobie spot you and his eyes narrow in his direction, as if saying ‘I dare you to say anything’ to which the spider only raises his hands in mock surrender.

“No. There wasn't." He says, his tone final. "If that’s all you’re here for, I have important work to get to. So why don’t you go bother someone else, yeah?”

“I give up,” Gwen says, slumping in her chair. “We’re never going to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Jess asks, walking up to the group.

“Whether or not there is something going on between those two,” Miles says, nodding towards you and Miguel talking over in the corner of the room.

Jessica only hums, a knowing look in her eyes but she doesn’t say anything. Only asks a simple question.

“What makes you think so?”

“Everyone here knows that there’s something there, even if they want to admit it or not. She’s one of the few people he tolerates, they’re together almost all the time and he actually seems happy around her,” Gwen reasons.

“You could have just asked, you know,” you say, coming up on their conversation with an amused look on your face.

Their expressions range from flustered to simply amused and you can’t help the laughter that bubbles up as you make eye contact with Jess.

“And to answer the question,” you reach down your suit, pulling out a simple chain with a ring dangling off of the end.

“We’re actually married.”

The group goes silent for a moment, eyes wide as they stare at the necklace in your hands, trying to process your words.

Then, all hell breaks loose.

A/N: Hehe, I'm quite happy with this one :3 This is my first attempt at writing Miguel, sorry if I butchered him but I am absolutely hyperfixating on him after seeing ATSV in theatres yesterday.

Based on the prompt by @imslightlycreative though slightly changed :)) I hope you all enjoyed <3

Part two out now!! Read it here.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #across the spider verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader #spiderverse x reader #miguel o hara #spiderman 2099 x reader #marvel

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