#‘hey life i know i joke about wanting to die a lot it doesn’t mean that you actually dole it out to me though lol not lol’

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

to the younger people on this Webbed Site (affectionate)™️, please don’t feel bad blocking people or feel bad when you lose a follower on sites like tumblr/tiktok/insta etc.

as someone whose basically grown up on social media (i’ve been on it since the the dying days of myspace in 2007/2008 and the switch to facebook being the dominant social media site in 2009/2010); i know the feeling of hating yourself or beating yourself up when people delete you or unfollow you. for example when i was in my early days on tumblr from 2011 to 2014…. when i lost a follower, i would beat myself up and wonder why the hell someone would unfollow me. what was i doing wrong??? what was the last stick to make them unfollow me??? please don’t hate me and i’ve got to rebuild the 10+ followers i’ve just lost. how long will it take???

back on facebook in my final years of high school in 2012 and 2013, i was setting multiple statuses a day, all in an “experiment” to see if i could get 50 likes in a day over several statuses; since i could never get 20-50 likes on statuses at once, like all the so called “popular kids” at school did all the time. hell i remember one of the popular girls from the catholic school i went to posting bikini pics back then and getting literally like 400+ likes and i was SUPER bitter.

i also heavily beat myself up when people deleted me. i got angry, so i would stalk and stalk and stalk and stay up until 4 am wondering why the fuck people were purging me out their friends list like wildfire….. when like…. literally 90% of my statuses over my last two years of high school were me giving off Major Depression Vibes™️….. which i now realise in my late 20s that it wasn’t healthy posting a bunch of “im such a failure and everyone knows it” and other statuses like that, super frequently. by deleting me, people were preserving their mental health. and you know what??? good for them. because, after all, your newsfeed is not your therapist (or your diary), and nor are your friends.

and yes i know that i was Edgy Girl As Hell On Main™️ back then, and using that as my excuse to post those posts and to avoid therapy (although the main reason i’m not in therapy right now is obvs the cost and every therapist around in my area closing their books bc of the pandemic etc). bc hell, now in my late 20s, and over the last few years, i have actually started deleting some of these said statuses. and especially when i was feeling low. because i realised reading them back years later in facebook memories just made my anxiety/depression exponentially worse than it needed to be. actively culling your own Edgy Emo Tumblr Sad Girl Posts™️ from years ago makes you healthier as well.

but y’all. there has to come a time when you stop fretting about whose deleted/unfollowed you and why. and there also comes a time when you have purge your own friends/follow list anyway, when you realise that there’s some people you cannot stand to have in your newsfeed. one particular case in point, for me, is my old friend from public school in 2012 & 2013, let’s call her taya (not her real name). taya was (can't say is really when i barely ever talk to her now) the type of friend who constantly belittles your problems and makes her problems seem super more pressing than yours- basically she pits her suffering etc in competition with yours. she makes out that her mental health is far more important than yours and posted about it all the time. she straight up laughs at your shit and tells you yours doesn’t matter. 99% of her statuses at the time were about her being the “black sheep” of her family etc etc etc. hell, she even laugh reacted to a status that you intended to be important and urgent (it when i was in hospital in 2020 and maybe i shouldn’t’ve posted this. but still.) while anyone and everyone else who reacted to the status reacted with the sad react/the care react/heart react, or just liked it. anyway. you know this type of friend.

there comes a time when YOU can’t (and quite frankly shouldn’t) tolerate this anymore, no matter how close you are or close they/you think you are with them. i ended up deleting taya for a few years, a while ago now, because her statuses and shared posts were actively making my mental health worse. and it always seemed when i was feeling at my worst, she would post stupid shit on my timeline like “we all have that friend who acts like their (when it should be they’re) dead” or some other rude/snarky internet shit and be all like “haha get up you sack of shit 🙄😂” as the caption…. as if i wasn’t already telling myself that on the daily at the time. whereas 90% of her profile was all those stupid “only real people who REALLY CARE about mental health will share this status! be the BRAVE 10 who care!!!” or whatever the fuck else posts. and depressing shit about being a “lone wolf” and “being a strong scorpio woman who’ll never find love bc no one can handle my insanity and constant empathy for everyone” and “being a brutally honest bitch is tough when it doesn’t win you friends. but at least my true friends stick with me!” etc etc. just overall toxic friend stuff.

and y’know what??? when i deleted her, i guilted myself. good god i guilted myself. “why would i do something so mean by deleting taya when i’ve known her for so long???” and “it shows just how disloyal i am as a friend by deleting her” i asked and told myself on a loop until i literally THREW UP out of guilt for deleting her. but girl. sometimes a bitch needs to really protect her mental health from people like taya over here who thinks she’s the centre of the universe and EVERYONE must care about HER PROBLEMS AND TRAUMA ONLY 24/7/365 bc apparently they’re the most urgent things in the world bc “why can’t you understand my empath mind???”. like yes taya, i care, to a point. but i am NOT your licensed motherfucking therapist. for fucks sake. and no taya. you are NOT an empath when you can’t read a room for goddamn fucking shit and can’t understand why people are constantly tired and worn down around you.

and girl (back to myself), you are NOT being selfish or disloyal by deleting and/or blocking this energy sucking friend. and no, if you paint yourself/other people paint you as a “nice person”, blocking these types of people from your feeds etc isn’t you being mean to THEM. it’s YOU being actively nice to Y O U R S E L F, which is a hard and almost alien thing to learn when you always put everyone else’s needs and perceptions of you before yours. (and trust me, it’s something i’ve just realised RIGHT NOW while coming back to constantly re-edit this post lmao 😂).

like yes don’t get me wrong. i did listen to taya’s rants and stuff, as a friend does. but my god. the way she ALWAYS belittled my shit and laughed in my face (or it felt like laughing in my face on fb messenger) at the lowest points of my mental health was fucking awful. her depression posts made it even worse. but my fucking god. i could only take so much. i had to delete her. she did eventually find me and add me again after a couple of years. when this happened, i immediately got rid of her from my feed. i just clicked “don’t show me taya’s posts” and that stopped her constant stream of negative posts on my feed. however, it didn’t stop some of her dumbass comments like “hahaha as IF you’d get weight loss ads on your feed when YOU aren’t fat like ME!” on my posts; which i learnt to ignore or vaguely respond to before her comments got out of hand. like taya everyone gets weight loss ads apparently; bc fb ad filters don’t discriminate when you don’t tell them to.

tbh most of her insensitive behaviour shit towards me was from her instant labelling of me as the “funny friend” and the “doesn’t take shit from anyone friend”. which then meant to her that i could never be sad or never feel anything negative and could always take whatever bullshit people chucked at me….. and especially when someone says something hurtful etc bc it’s apparently all meant to slide off me like…. - i can’t think of a good metaphor- but you know what i mean. it also meant to her that i was NEVER being serious about anything EVER bc funny people don’t have the capacity to be serious, ever. apparently.

but anyway. there comes a point when you have to care about yourself more than keeping people on your friend/followers list out of obligation because you’ve known them for so long. if you can’t tolerate what they post or can’t have a civilised convo with them about what they post (mostly bc i never bothered with this girl bc i knew she’d NEVER listen to me bc haha funny friend can’t be sad or angry or argumentative!!!! say something funny. for thee is mine own personal fool)… just delete them. or if you feel like you can’t delete them, just take them out of your feed so that you can no longer see their triggering posts. same with sites like twitter with following.

and this goes for other toxic people in your life too. because my high school stalker/creeper tried to re-add me again a while ago now…… and i instantly blocked him; bc i’d seen from going through his profile that he hadn’t changed at all…. and that i knew he’d start harassing me to fuck him (he’s a massive incel type guy) etc like he always does. i knew after all my time in hospital and stuff over the last couple of years, that i have NO TIME AND ENERGY to deal with his manipulative bullshit anymore (and i never really did in the first place anyway tbh). so before he could even start a convo with me, i just straight up blocked him. i’m never letting him in again to hijack my mental health and my self-esteem.

and even though, yes when you get older, it’s still fun to try to sniff out the person who has deleted you all of a sudden (bc tbh here, i still do this for funsies)… in reality, you know deep down that you’ve lost connection with them. or let’s be real, you never liked them in the first place in school or wherever else you met them (could be work etc)…. that yeah. you were just waiting for them to delete/unfollow you anyway and you don’t care that they finally have.

and the weird social obligation where you feel like you have to keep this person on social media because you’ve known them for X amount of years is fucked up and dumb. because if amanda or victor is constantly belittling you or constantly posting upsetting shit and they do nothing about fixing their feed after you’ve told them that it bothers you (if you’ve done this), maybe it’s time to just straight up delete/block them anyway so you can hopefully no longer see or engage with the upsetting stuff that they keep posting. and i’m obvs deflecting the fact that i actually did engage with posts that made my mental health worse (hello 2011-2015 tumblr era black & white depression blogs) on here back in the day, but i no longer do that.

moreover, follower counts and friend counts mean fuck all. they’re arbitrary. and the fact that social media makes you feel like an asshole for deleting/unfollowing/blocking people from your feed/dash etc….. it’s ultimately important if their posts are fucking with your mental health and/or you can’t have decent convos with this person about anything because they make it wholly about themselves; or have labelled you as a certain friend role which means you can never X, when they can….. it’s better to dump them out with the trash where they belong by deleting/blocking them. these stupid as fuck numbers have nothing to fucking do with loyalty and other traits for irl friends. the idea of loyalty in a follower only matters when it becomes your career. because without “loyal fans/followers”, you don’t make a mark (or y’know you don’t get brand deals/sponsors etc).

and also overall, this post is a big fuck you for growing up on social media. it really does especially hurt people with high anxiety etc. it’s utterly exhausting and it’s exactly why i haven’t made the supposedly necessary 1000+ different social media accounts: from insta to tiktok to twitter to whatever the fuck the next one is going to be. i just have no energy to invest in having to spread myself thin over several SM accounts to see the following stats and the for you page on TT for example, feeding me videos that could inevitably make me feel worse. i actually actively have to cull the videos on my facebook watch feed, which i talk about every so often.

i did all this shit 10+ years ago, beating up myself over losing followers when i was only at like 500 or something and it also hurt when i was in my obsessive tumblr cleaning out phase, at just how many of my old followers, and sometimes mutuals, On This Here Hellsite (affectionate)™️ had deactivated over the years. it really shooketh me to my core, if the kids are still saying that. i don’t want to do that on other social media platforms, though.

and as i’ve stated in the past on here, it’s also exactly one of the reasons why i dropped out of the comms and media studies (triple major in marketing comms/PR/advertising) degree that i originally started undergrad uni with in 2015. i had no energy to expend to “professional” social media account follower counts- which we were being marked on as part of the course. i had no desire for engagement and the study of social media engagement in a professional space like i thought i did from using tumblr, at that point in time, for 4 years. but systematically and critically studying it seemed like a nightmare because why should i give a shit that people on my course aren’t engaging with my tweets and wordpress posts??? (like i know why but still).

BUT ANYWAY. this post went in so many different directions…. and i hope that if i have any younger followers, that they know that the younger millennials/older gen z (idek what the fuck i am) know the struggle of growing up online and that blocking/deleting etc people on the internet is good. and also that losing followers/friends etc is okay esp when you get older. unless of course you made this shit your career…. on this front, i have no idea how to help you on that tbh

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ok dgmw the girl that i talk about in this post is obvs at a better place now when i look at her fb occasionally #and i’m proud of her for that #but man she does still post some of those annoying strong woman posts and stuff like that #but i will never forgive the way she treated me when i was not doing well mentally #and i feel like i know that if i ever bother to reconnect with her she’ll treat me the exact same way anyway #so it’s better to never interact with her anyway #and not have her in my feed in case she gets in that really horrible mental space again….. #…..and ruins my mental health in either the short or long term again #and i’ll also never forgive her for laugh reacting at that status i set while in hospital that was all like #‘hey life i know i joke about wanting to die a lot it doesn’t mean that you actually dole it out to me though lol not lol’ #after my body decided to shit out an illeus after my stomach surgery in 2020 #and i lost a litre of blood etc when that happened and stuff like that #like i was like a hair breadths from death and this bitch is all like ‘hehe funny friend don’t mean shit be my funny monkey’ #and like no i was being serious learn to read between the lines #but also yeah i’ll admit that i shouldn’t’ve even set the status anyway #but i was sick etx in hospital and wanted support lmao #anyway. it is what it is z.

[moonshynecybin]

lonely Marc vs constantly surrounded by friends Vale in the context of the FCO AU means that way more often than the other way around, Marc is the one who has to hang out with Valentino’s friends (are some of them mad at him for making Vale lose the 2015 title? are some of them happy to see Marc because they had befriended him in their pre-Sepang outings and they think Marc is cool?) + the image (inspired by the one on the right of that post) where Valentino comes up behind a seating Marc while Marc is busy listening to Valentino’s friends and Valentino squeezes Marc’s shoulders before bending down to ask him if he’s okay (also asks him if he needs anything, if Vale needs to be a pretend boyfriend he’ll be a pretend perfect boyfriend) and then he starts participating in the conversation with his friends and doesn’t notice that he’s still standing behind Marc, massaging his shoulders now

forced coming out au lfg. the post in question here… this got long sowwy

it is like. okay they spend SO much time tooling around in the paddock right? and yes they are very busy doing their very demanding jobs for most of that time, but they are ALSO basically all stuck together living in an extremely gossipy little travelling TOWN/COMMUNITY that lives together in the space of like a square mile and knocks elbows with each other for a lot of the year. i mean their behavior is highly observable!! cameras reporters and riders everywhere...

so all this to say, if marc and vale want to pull this off (not only to the public, but also to the paddock) theyre going to need to spend a truly stupid amount of time together. especially after a clash like sepang where people KNOW their relationship isnt teflon, theyre going to need to overcompensate pretty hard to overcorrect that bad boy. constantly checking in. like if vale has lunch in a different part of the paddock than marc, headlines are running that are like LOVERS ON THE ROCKS?? they are a HUGE international news item it has transcended motogp at this point. so they are GLUED together inside of work (insane 4 them), and then it also overlaps OUTSIDE of work where they are also supposed to hang out in order to be photographed together. so theyre going on little dates all the time (INSANE 4 THEMMM. they want to fuck so bad but THEYRE STILL EXES and they havent since the pictures but theyre soso horny so they are like. white knuckling it through every date where theyre alone it is. truly insane in their brains. the bathroom is RIGHT there and it LOCKS and if it where a year ago vale would be INSIDE HIM by nowwwww. but instead they are making small talk about tire regulations over seafood. dire. the sex dreams are crazy they are being haunted by dick.) but i digress.

SO i actually think they avoid group hang-outs pretty vigilantly for a while bc it is literally the only scrap of privacy they can get in almost any context of their lives. like even when they have to spend time together, if its just the two of them there is less overall performance involved. they just have to hang out! they used to be very good at that! yeah it hurts like open heart surgery but #nopainnogain! so they do that for a few months until vale gets VERY publicly invited out by one of his buddies who is like hey bring marquez we havent met him yet... and vale is like. haha okay ! :) (internally hes like. what if i die.) tells marc and MARC is internally like. do they hate me. will this be the worst night of my life. walls up to the fucking SKY.

and they get to this bar/restaurant/thingy and marc is doin fine. again hes nice and hes very pr trained so hes friendly and its pretty even keel for the most part. no one's being a dick. BUT i DO think vale comes back from the bar or something and catches the tail end of someone referencing the pictures or sepang or their time apart... just casual, just a joke. meaning nothing by it bc they think its in the past! but vale has spent a STUPID amount of time with marc at this point, and he's keyed in to all of his terrible tragic little microexpressions (side note. if he rewatched the sepang presscon at this point and watched marc's face i think he would genuinely vomit) so he can see RIGHT through how uneasy he still is and he just. he has to touch him. let marc know that hes on his side here, like he cant say anything but he CAN do this. he HAS to do this bc all of this is his fault! so he pulls marc in under his arm, leans in to kiss him slow and sweet in front of everybody just because he can, and then smoothly changes the subject at the table... keeps his hand on marc's thigh and avoids the way marc stares at him for the rest of the night, the way he relaxes into him slightly. goes home and has the most INSANE wet dream perhaps of all time

#motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #forced coming out au #tortured by lust is another good part of this. two feet away from the best dick of your life at all times AND he kisses you sometimes. evil

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Hc’s of m!greaser being the shortest of the Curtis gang + Shepards?? M!greaser is roughly 16-17 and can fight rlly well, but he’s comically tiny. He’s like exactly 5’0 and has not grown an inch since the fifth grade, so he’s often lost in the middle of a rumble which makes the others kinda wonder “shit, is he dead??”

(He is not dead, just probably stuck in a 2-feet deep ditch somewhere)

LMAO LOVE THIS

Being short is so @positively-peachy-143-core!

You already know Two Bit has some remarks for him

Short but Deadly M!Greaser x The Gang + Tim Shepard

Ponyboy Curtis

-he teases you for a bit

-but whenever you want him to shut up he does it real quick

-he’s also a bit scared of you, more than Johnny is

- always the first to look for you in a rumble whenever you get lost

-he respects you a lot though

Johnny Cade

-he and pony are the two smallest besides you

-he tries not to tease you about it

-because he knows how it feels to be underestimated for your size

-and looks

-he respects you as a person

-and is, truth be told, a bit scared of you

Sodapop Curtis

-I mean he’s teasing you but in a loving way

-he probably introduces you to girls n stuff

-they love you tbh

-you guys would be such a good trio with Steve

Darry Curtis

-what a duo

-yall are both scary and real good in fights but the only thing is the size difference

-if you two are both in the same gang for a rumble I feel bad as shit for the other gang

-lethal I tell you

-he teases you, but also defends you if anyone else who doesn’t have a say is making fun of you (cough cough Curly cough cough)

-you both kicked Curlys ass 💀💅

Dallas Winston

-he also teases you ok everyone teases you it’s a fact of life

-but he’s secretly a bit scared of you

-would rather die before telling anyone but he’s actually pretty scared of tiny deadly things

-like if he ever saw any horror movies like Chucky? Mf would be screaming

-he pushes you around but never too much

-he doesn’t want the humiliation of getting his ass kicked

Two Bit Mathews

-do you know how many jokes this mf makes

-“Sorry, can you speak up? It’s hard to hear your from all the way down there!” Then cackling

-“You’re right. It’s insensitive to call you short. I apologize, my vertically challenged y/n.”

-“OH MY- oh, sorry, I thought you was my ma’s garden gnome.”

-“Yk, you’re a great guy, y/n. I really look up to you. Figuratively.”

-“Well what are you going to do, y/n?! Headbutt my stomach? Kick my shins?”

-you ended up kicking his balls hard

-that got him to shut up

-but he was still rolling around on the ground muttering “W-worth it!”

Steve Randle

-he teases you too, not as bad as two bit

-but you’re actually his favorite little guy

-and you’re tough as hell alright

-like he admires that despite you’re disadvantage you’re so good in fights

-calls you “big guy” 💀

Tim Shepard

-he’s the lest paused by your high surprisingly

-you kinda get to be his secret weapon

-I mean he respects any guy who can fight like you can at that height

Curly Shepard

-he made the mistake of underestimating you

-because of your height

-and came home all beat up and Tim asked what the hell happened

-and burst into laughter whenever all he could mutter was your name

-Tim was the one who told Curly not to mess with you but ofc he didn’t listen

-And I mean hey Curly kinda had it coming

#urlocalnonbinarybastardwritesanswers #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #two bit mathews #johnny cade #the outsiders #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #steve randle #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #tim shepard #curly shepard

[iifishizzleii]

sibling johnny mactavish includes

unedited😛

having eight sisters.

this man has ‘younger brother’ energy written all over him. he’s the middle child, but by the time his parents got to having johnny, they were already at the ‘eh, i don’t care what you do just don’t die’ phase parents get at with their kids. which meant that it was up to his four older sisters to raise the boy right.

johnny knows how to read women. and while it’s partly because his sisters taught him well, it’s also because living in a house full of that many women meant learning their language or fucking perishing. this man is fluent in eyelingual. he knows every eyebrow raise, side-eye, narrowed gaze to a pointed look. who needs morse code in the military when you got eyelingual?

being a big character

because when you learn the language, of course you’re going to want to learn the culture as well. and johnny mactavish has been submerged in women culture all his life. which means three things:

one, he knows how to play the long game. whether it comes with petty revenge or simply asking for something from a higher power (his oldest sister), johnny is the king of waiting it out, finding the sweet spot of those moments and taking it. it’s the reason why only he, out of the entire task force, can get away with so much shit when it comes to laswell.

two, johnny knows how to be mean without being rude. thanks to the second and third mactavish daughters, his sisters (bless their heart), johnny knows how to kiss a person’s cheek while stabbing them with verbal cues. his sisters would do it all the time to each other and to guests that came over that they didn’t like. and it paid off being the brunt of so many passive aggressive comments because johnny’s work sometimes requires being civil, but that doesn’t mean he has to be a gentleman.

and three, johnny knows how to play dumb. really. it’s almost scary how quick this guy can go from playing with sticks and making dumb jokes about mud, to building a bomb made of sticks and mud. and it was his younger siblings, surprisingly, who taught johnny that being as pretty of a family that they were (because let’s be fr, soap is gorgeous), nobody expects them to know how to think. it makes getting out of certain situations and receiving special treatment so much more easier, too, when all you gotta do is give a charming smile and bat your eyelashes (ghost has been at the receiving end and has fallen for this act far too many times to let anyone else know).

having really thick skin

a lot of people think having an older brother is tough. and hey, it is! ghost would argue its a lot meaner than having a sister, because sisters are naturally more nurturing, nicer, and kinder than brothers are.

and for the most part, that was true. all of johhny’s sisters are good people. they’re kind, yes, and helpful and overall worthy of their spots through the pearly gates. but they’re not fucking nice. the fuck.

the amount of times johnny was dragged out of bed to take out the trash at the crack ass of dawn is ridiculous. he should have brain damage now from how many times his head hit the floor. but, he was the only boy, so all the ‘manly’ jobs like mowing the lawn, washing the cars, bringing in the groceries, all of those were johnny’s chores. (but, even then, most people would pass their home and see several girls—blondes, brunettes, and gingers— washing the porch, the family truck, and tending to the yard. johnny was j

and that’s not even to mention the psychological warfare. mactavish’s are infamous for their temper, so when you’re living with eight other land mines dressed in heels and lashes just waiting to be stepped on, everyday was a different fight blowing up in the house. and when you got insulted by your sister, johnny learned that the only way to deflect is by hitting them with something meaner a lot more quickly or you’d cry.

like that time johnny blamed the wet floor in their bathroom on all of the leg hair his younger sister kept shaving and getting stuck in the drain so the water flowed out the tub and soaked the tiles. and she automatically replied with, “or maybe it’s all the grease from the back of your fat fucking neck dragging on the ground that’s making the tiles wet”. (it was their other sister’s fault it turned out.)

loving the hard times

because as much as johnny could give his family shit for all of the bad days, none of them could compare to the good ones.

the mornings where he woke up to the smell of sourdough pancakes and sizzling bacon.

when his sister would pull him out of school early to go shopping at the mall, and she’d buy him a new toy or cool shirt.

when he did one of them a favor and later that week she’d taken johnny to get some greasy fast food with her to eat at a park because she wasn’t trying to buy food for the whole house.

when his younger sisters spent their first daddy-daughter dance standing on his church shoes and holding his hands because their real father wasn’t around anymore.

when they spend the rest of the day outside spraying each other with the water hose after washing the cars because the house was too hot, and sandwiches with premade lemonade under the tree was lunch.

when the winter winds were so strong they broke the heater, and the family spent a week having a slumber party in the living room to keep warm.

when they all got matching tattoos on the ankle, a roman numeral for each sibling.

when johnny went off to join the army, leaving his sisters for the first time, they all went to the airport to see him off.

#call of duty #cod #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #soap call of duty #call of duty mw3 #mactavish family #sergeant johnny mactavish #johnny mactavish has siblings #specifically sisters

[im-am-not-a-weenie]

🍓The gang with a plus-sized reader who has body issues 🍓

Gn reader with Arthur,John,Sean,Hosea,and Dutch see end for an

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🍓Arthur Morgan

At first he doesn’t get it. How can someone so pretty feel ugly?

But once you explain it to him, he’s nothing but supportive.

He’ll encourage you to eat meals if you’ve been skipping meals. He doesn’t scold you or try to make you upset, he’ll just explain why you need to take better care of yourself.

He compliments you more and makes sure to tell you how much he loves you and your body.

“Y’know you sure are a lovely thing darlin.” “Aaarrrrttthhhuuurr” “What? I didn’t say nothin’ but the truth.”

No matter what, he’ll love and support you and try to help you through your struggles.

🍓John Marston

John isn’t the most observant person in the world, (some might call him oblivious) so it takes him a while to notice what’s wrong. When he does, he doesn’t know what to say.

He approaches you like he would a wild animal….No like seriously.

“John….Why are you walking like that?” “Like what?” “Like, you're creeping towards me.”

He asks why you’ve been saying bad things about yourself -joking or not- and says how he’d noticed that you don’t eat like you used to.

So you explain to him. You probably would need to explain it a couple times for him to fully understand, but as soon as he does he hugs you and tells you how beautiful you are.

🍓Sean McGuire

It’s starts off as you making jokes. At first he laughs, but over time he realizes how often your jokes are self deprecating.

One day he asks you about it, and asks if you’re really joking or if you really feel that way.

When he finds out you’re not fully joking, he’ll ask why you’d talk about yourself like that.

Every time you joke about it, he’ll replace your negative comments with a positive one.

“How dare you speak about the love of my life like that!” “Sean, all I said was I could afford to skip a meal.” “Exactly, those are fightin words right there. Next time you talk about my love like that, I’ll start swinging.”

He’ll make sure you know he loves you, and he’ll keep his jokes about you at a minimum. You know it’s out of love. He also tries to be more sensitive around you.

🍓Hosea Matthews

As quite the actor he is, he can tell when you’re acting too.

“Hi love, how’s the day treating you?” “I’m fine, Hosea.” “That’s interesting, now why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?”

He won’t push if you really don’t want him too, but he’ll listen if you decide to tell him what’s wrong.

He won’t try and give you advice or input if you don’t want it, but he will tell you how much he loves you the whole time!

He loves to hug you from behind and whisper how much he loves you in your ear, and how beautiful you are.

He’ll validate your feelings and won’t make fun of you when you tell him you start to feel this way again.

🍓Dutch Van Der Linde

Now let’s get one thing straight, Dutch is truly a romantic when it comes to you. He worships the ground you walk on, so when you tell him you don’t like your body, he’ll list the reasons why he loves you.

“Reason 53, your eyes are to die for.” “Dutch we’ve been here for an hour!” “Now now, sweet thang don’t interrupt me. I only have 118 more reasons to go.”

Plus, he loves his partner a little on the thick side. (My guy is the definition of a thigh man.)

Loves to tell you how beautiful you are, or in his words, “magnificent” or how “words can’t describe how beautiful you are.”

“Hey Dutch, do you think this outfit is tighter than the last time I wore it?” “Nonsense! You look wonderful no matter what you wear.”

Hey y’all I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE and that thank you for getting one of my works to 300+ notes that’s means a lot to me and for 60 followers sorry for being gone for so long my best friend just passed recently and my school work has been piled up and I haven’t found it in me to write so I hope y’all enjoy this is my first fic back so I’m sorry if it’s rusty and I’ll be taking requests again and will try to get back on a schedule once again thank you for my lovely beta reader and in finally got to do a crazy an yay I hope y’all have a good week bye!!!

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #john marston #john marston x reader #red dead redemption 2 #sean macguire #sean macguire x reader #dutch van der linde x reader #hosea matthews #hosea matthews x reader #rdr2 headcanons #dutch van der linde

[bekaroth-reads]

Hey! I’m new to your blog, but i was wondering what you think wesker would be like as a husband throughout the years, maybe starting a year or two before the mansion. Thank you if you see this and have a wonderfull day or night!

[Listen, if there’s one thing we don’t half ass here, it’s the Albert Wesker content. So, I did a short list for every version of him that I could think of :) ]

[On another related note, it hurts my soul that there has been nothing but radio silence for Albert for about nine slutty, slutty years. The closest we’ve gotten were the cameo voice clips in Umbrella Corps. ,a gun named after him in seven, and HUNK talking to him in 2 remake in which we don’t even hear his voice. Capcom PLEASE!]

1990’s Wesker before the mansion incident

He would be a bit distant to be honest

All in when he is with you though

But he doesn’t want people from STARS and more importantly Umbrella to know about you

He knows that there’s too much danger for you to know anything bout his lifestyle or anyone from his life to know about you

This will translate with him loving being around you but, “having to work late” many nights as he wanted to be sure that there was no chance that you get involved

He knows that there’s even more of a chance of something happening to you as he is in the works of betraying Umbrella, STARS, and Birkin

So, basically there’s three different groups that would gladly hunt both of you down for sport (truth be told, he’s more concerned about Annette than he is about William)

Because of that your support, no matter how unknowing, is appreciated in his time of subterfuge

It feels like it’s just he and you against the world

Has a bit more of an ornery streak than most people think he would, but doesn’t know how to really express it

He has to kind of learn that he is no longer at the Umbrella Training program or a special ops police force and that at home most people don’t practically brutalize each other for a joke

In his defense, he doesn’t mean to

He just doesn’t realize his own strength

Goes to playfully hip check you and accidentally send you flying across the room

1990’s Wesker after the mansion incident

He would be a lot more emotionally distant than he was before

Getting back in touch with you and getting you out of Raccoon City would be his first priority

He knows there’s going to be a lot of bad things going down there soon

Partially because he’s going to cause some of them

Though he would be sure that you were with him again, he would be very quiet and withdrawn

He’s going through a LOT what with the reanimating and what not

That’s part of his reasons for trying to keep some distance from you as he’s not very sure what he is now and how he might start acting

He’s headed enough Umbrella projects that he knows that even though he feels fine at the moment, the there’s noting stopping his biology from freaking out somewhere in the next few weeks or so

To be honest, he would rather have you somewhere really far away from him rather than right here

But, seeing as Vladimir is searching for him and anyone that he could use to get to him, you have to stay right here

His playful side will be gone for a good while, and he’ll be a bit testy

But he’ll still want you around, not matter how much he might accidentally make it seem otherwise

Late 90’s Wesker (c. Code Veronica)

He’s much more at peace with who he is now

In fact, he rather enjoys all his new powers

And he loves to show them off to you too

While it might be good to see that he is back to his old self, there’s also something that’s a bit concerning that’s starting to emerge

It’s not enough that he didn’t die, or horribly mutate for that matter

He seems to be drunk on power and wants more

And while you were often assured that he wouldn’t be taking things overboard( rather more overboard than they have already gone) he suddenly told you that he was going to be away for a few months

Seeing as he was working for another sketchy bio company and in the process of starting his own operation by this point, free time isn’t really something that he has a lot of

So the only reason that he would ever need to go somewhere himself was if he planned on getting modified in some way again

He would call you any time that he could while he was away and make sure that you were still at the safe house that he had set up for you and that no one had tried to bother you

He has his playful streak back, but this time he’s a little rough on purpose

Thinks it’s funny when you stumble from something he does

But would never actually try to hurt you for real

He does go a bit back into his dower introspection when he comes back after those few months he talked about and half of his face burnt

Early 2000’s Wesker

Here’s the thing, you would either hardly see him or you would see too much of him

There will be times where he might be gone for a week to a month at a time as he is a very busy bio-terrorist during this time

He’s not only higher up in that organization now, but he’s also putting the finishing touches on dismantling Umbrella and taking all of the BOW data for his own purposes, and make sure that Ada Wong was on her way to Spain

But, when he does get to be with you again, he is going to be very possessive

The two of you will basically be connected at the hip, and there won’t be a single moment spent apart

At this point, it doesn’t matter if you ask him to stop adding more superhuman stuff because he has himself convinced that he needs it for both of you

He’s already starting to get the idea of world domination rather than just carving himself a little niche in the seedy places of the world

His other reason that he tells you and himself, whether or not it’s really true is he needs to be stronger so he can protect you better

He’s got himself caught in a loop where he gets more powerful, so people are more likely to go after him, so he gets more powerful, so people are even more inclined to go after him, and so on, and so forth

Whatever the case, your husband is starting to seem less and less human as time has gone on

Maybe there was something more going on with him than he thought initially

Not to mention he has mentioned more than once that it might be a good idea for you to get the same superhuman enhancers that he has

All because he wants the best for you, of course

2009 Wesker

There’s no denying at this point that this is most certainly not the man you married all those years ago

This guy is insane

A gentle insane to you, as what little sanity he has tells him that you are important to him

His new self translates that as you are the only other person in this world aside from him that in better than everyone else

The suggestions that you become super human turn into insistences

Now, it’s not like he’s going to sneak Ouroboros into your system while you’re asleep or something

But there’s a clear understanding that it will happen eventually, more likely sooner rather than later

Is super possessive of you by this point

He will have you with him all the time, and just lock you in a different room if he thinks things are getting too dangerous

By this point he literally thinks that he is a god, so there’s no need to doubt his ability to protect you no matter what

Speaking of which, he thinks he’s a god, so he knows what’s best for everyone, and that includes you

Again, he tells himself and you that it’s all for your good and that his moon goal here is still to protect you, even when it might not seem like it

Here’s the thing, if you aren’t for all of his, “total world saturation,” business and don’t want to be turned into a sticky, tentacle monster of some sort, then you’re only hope is going to be that Chris and Shiva get you away from him soon

If you are with him on everything, and you luck out and don’t have a visceral and violent reaction to the Ouroboros, then I hope you like volcanoes :)

Wesker c. 2013

He would be similar to how he was back in ‘09, but a bit more subdued

There’s nothing that will get someone to take it down a peg better than getting thrown into a volcano

He would be even more possessive and would quite literally make you disappear from the entire would except for him

This is partially because he can’t have anyone know that he’s still alive, but also because he knows that if he was out of the picture and someone knew that you were involved with him in any capacity then you would be hounded and watched for the rest of your life

So, as soon as he has the chance, he would fake your death and spirit you away to somewhere that only he knew about

Going with him being possessive, he would be even more paranoid than he was before, and would make sure that he was the only person that you saw, not only because he didn’t want anyone knowing that either of you were still alive, but also because he literally wants the be everything to you

Would be almost sickeningly sweet to you, to the point where it’s unnerving rather than nice

And it’s incredibly noticeable because of how vicious he is with literally everyone else

At this point he’s more monster than man, the various viruses and parasite mutations basically piloting his body, and running off of his base emotions

That’s why he’s so hell bent on gaining power, and in turn so possessive of you

All that gnawed up brain of his can process now is the fact that you were somehow important to him, and the thing pretending to be him tries to pantomime what it thinks husbands are supposed to do, which is not quite real enough or in Wesker’s original personality so it’s very uncanny valley

Like sometimes if you ask him something or maybe do something that mess under his skin, clawing at his brain doesn’t quite understand, he’ll basically dissociate for a moment while his internal spaghetti monster does a google search in his old memories to see what the correct reaction is

Even then there have been times where it pulls up the wrong one

And you will be seeing a LOT of him too

Now that he’s the one running everything, and that he’s being secretive and won’t be going out and doing much things himself, there will be plenty of times where he can just keep track of things from a few computers where ever the two of you are currently living

While he would still want you to get all of the progenitor virus related stuff that he has to keep you with him potentially forever, he’s not as pushy with it, as the turn of events in Africa a few years back are making him rethink his strategy on things, including that

Overall, a pretty lonely, yet fairly comfortable life other than the fact that your husband is one of the most wanted men in the world, and sometimes acts like he’s straight from an episode of the Twilight Zone with how uncanny he can be

#albert wesker x reader #wesker x reader

[astrronomemes]

ALADDIN: THE KING OF THIEVES STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 1996 Disney film Aladdin: The King of Thieves. change & alter as needed.

“Somebody’s gonna be late for his own wedding!”

“It’s a bachelor party, big boy!”

“This is for the wedding.”

“It belonged to my father.”

“He died a long time ago.”

“[Name], are you getting cold feet?”

“What do I know about families? What if I’m no good at it?”

“If your father were here, he’d be as proud of you as I am.”

“Someone has to keep a cool head, [name].”

“Someone will have no head if this turns out to be another wild goose chase.”

“I can see fine from back here.”

“I’m not gonna cry. I’m not.”

“I thought the earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon.”

“So this isn’t a bad day for you, really, is it?”

“It must be here somewhere.”

“You have a lot of spirit. And a lot of mouth.”

“Stay out of my way, boy, and you won’t get hurt.”

“That was for ruining my wedding.”

“This is not my fault! This was not built to code!”

“Good luck getting back the catering deposit.”

“Hey, I want to see some resumes on these guys.”

“I am so sorry about all this, [name].”

“With all the other great stuff, why go for this thing?”

“Did someone say ‘treasure’?”

“I see all that has been, and all that will be.”

“Okay, you know all, so tell all.”

“I know what my future is. My future is you.”

“I have no idea where I come from.”

“I don’t think you can help me.”

“My father is alive?”

“What kind of man leaves his son?”

“How can you be so sure?”

“How bad is it?”

“I want to get in, get out, and go home.”

“If you’re talking about spilling my blood... well, I just don’t see that happening.”

“Like it or not, boy, we’re blood.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Yes, [name], mercy would be so like you — soft, and weak.”

“A test? That’s not so bad. Maybe it’ll be multiple-choice!”

“Knock ’im dead, kid. Seriously.”

“You would know if [name] was in trouble, wouldn’t you?”

“I thought he’d be back by now.”

“It’s a joke! ...I do that.”

“Thanks for cheering me up.”

“You did your old man proud, [name].”

“I was just trying to stay alive.”

“We never hurt the innocent.”

“That’s just a myth!”

“You don’t know what it’s like to have nothing!”

“I thought my family was lost forever.”

“I wanted a father. I still do.”

“[Name] may not understand, but it just wouldn’t work. I don’t belong in his world.”

“Get off that thing before you break your neck!”

“This creep’s got a yellow sheet as long as my arm.”

“You are most definitely [name]’s father.”

“All he needed was a second chance.”

“It’s a slap-on-the-wrist and community-service kind of thing.”

“I thought I could change him. I had to try.”

“You can change my clothes, [name]. You can’t change who I am.”

“There are some wishes that even I can’t make come true.”

“Everything was perfect before he came into my life.”

“It’s the cape talking, isn’t it?”

“I’ve come to say goodbye.”

“We don’t have much time.”

“They can’t catch me.”

“I want him dead or alive.”

“We shall see if [name] wants you in his family now.”

“Keep your hands off my son!”

“I did lose my lunch back there.”

“By then, we’ll be long gone.”

“I’m sorry for what you’ve lost, but you can’t go back now. You know that.”

“I’m not going with you.”

“You ran away from your family!”

“It’s a good day to die.”

“They’re my family. My only family.”

“Frankly, my boy, your actions were most disappointing.”

“What you have done... well, you did it out of love.”

“I know your dad made a lot of bad choices, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp starters #roleplay starters #dialogue prompts #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay memes #sentence memes #sentence prompts #sentence starters

[murswrites]

Date Night ⎯ Steve Harrington Headcanon

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Reader Fandom: Stranger Things MASTERLIST 🌸 Join in my birthday event! 🌸 Warnings: Fluff, cursing?, Steve is a nervous wreck lol Request from @musicallisto​: helloooo! so, for your 3 year celebration, could I request headcanons for going on a date with steve harrington? I haven't seen s4 but apparently we all need fluff and therapy from it lol

A/N Thank you so much for requesting for my latest hyper fixation. If you do watch S4, Clara, don’t watch that last episode. Not worth it at all.

Steve is 100% that guy to argue with you over who’s paying the bill

He’s all like “It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.” While puffing his chest out

To him it doesn’t even matter that he’s a guy--he just likes taking care of people

9/10 Steve was pining after you for ages

Robin got so sick of it, she almost told you herself that Mr. Harrington was too much of a pussy to say he liked you

I’d reckon you’re well aware of his crush and... you definitely made fun of him for it

“Awe, what’s wrong Steve, do ya like me or something?”

Cue Steve turning the darkest shade of red in existence

Also him asking Robin, “Does Y/N like... know or something?”

And Robin going, “Or something, you idiot.”

It takes a lot of hyping up for Steve to finally ask you on a date

It’s all awkward and cute but so weird for him

Steve’s never been nervous a day in his life (except when he saw his grades senior year)

Because before going on dates was easy people threw themselves at him

He was King Steve Harrington--so why the hell was he shaking just dialing your number?

100% the whole call goes like this: S: Hey, Y/N... what’s up, how are things going?... Oh that’s good, hey I had a quick question--it’s totally okay if you say no, I totally understand it’s just that Robin keeps threatening me with my life and I thought I’d die either way if you said no-- Y: I’ll go on a date with you, Harrington. I can hear you sweating through the phone S: OH YOU WILL? I mean--Yea that makes sense *awkward chuckles* uh... another question; how’d you know I was asking you on a date?

He buys you flowers. Doesn’t know what kind you like, so he buys like 3 different bouquets

Opens every door for you, compliments your outfit choice even if you decide to dress casually

I’d think your first date would definitely be something like the movies then desert at a local diner

Steve would let you decide on the movie because he just wants to impress you so bad (man has HORRIBLE daddy issues so he lives to serve)

When you grab his hand halfway through the movie--he swears his heart fell out of his chest (he’s in deep and he doesn’t even care)

You make gentle jokes about how tense he is the entire night

Eventually he does loosen up--you two had been friends a while, it was just hard for him not to expect the worse

“I like you too, Harrington. Don’t think I’ll go running away just because you say the wrong thing.”

That helps his nerves a lot--just you reassuring him makes him calm down so much

“Ha, I knew that...” (he didn’t)

At the end of the night, on the way home, you ask to pull over and star gaze.

The radio is playing softly in his car--all the windows are down and you’re just holding hands enjoying one another

Steve swears he’s dreaming--you kinda feel the same

It’s weird how his nerves make you feel so calm. It’s cute how badly he just wants you to have fun

If you try kissing him when he drops you back off at home--he’d probably faint

Steve 100% calls Robin when he gets home to tell her how things went and she 100% says “Told you so, dingus, they’ve always liked you.”

#murswrites #3 years of murswrites #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington headcanon #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things headcanon

[nighttimeebony]

Reactions to The Last Olympian. Spoilers under the cut. And warning: long-ass post ahead.

EDIT: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Yay, Rachel’s back! I like that Percy is able to have a mortal friend.

Paul is cool.

Look, I love Rachel, but why does there have to be a goddamn love triangle? Percy likes Annabeth, Annabeth likes Percy, you’ve already put the work into making me like them and we all know they’re going to be endgame, so why does there have to be so much fucking romantic drama? Can’t Percy and Rachel just be friends without the weird romantic tension? This whole plot is busy enough on its own without you trying to shove something else in at the last minute just because you’re bored, RICK.

Wow, Percy really doesn’t get to have any downtime, does he? My boy’s really on “save the world o’clock” time at all times.

Yay, Beckendorf! I love you!

OH MY GOD AND HE’S ACTUALLY DATING SILENA???!!!! Oh, that makes me so happy!! I love that my little background crackship is actually canon! And the fact that they were apparently Camp Half-Blood’s “yeah, we know” ship is hilarious and I love life right now.

Ooh, bombs.

Wait. No. No no no no no no no stop

FUCKING STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

WHY?!?!? WHY DID BECKENDORF HAVE TO DIE?!? RICK!!! WHY??!!! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

I can’t even be happy that Tyson is here, I’m already so fucking depressed and it’s your fault, Rick.

Oh, hey, Triton. Which, fun fact, since Triton is Ariel’s father in the Disney movie, this means that (in the Disney canon at least) Hercules and Ariel are canonically cousins. So, hypothetically speaking, Percy would be related to the Disney princess Ariel, which you can’t convince me he doesn’t brag and joke about all the time.

“[Poseidon] had told me that I would know when to ‘spend [the sand dollar],’ but so far I hadn’t figured out what he meant. All I knew was that it didn’t fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria.” I love that the implication behind this is that Percy actually tried. He took this mysterious magic sand dollar that the god of the sea gave him and told him to spend wisely and wait for the right time to use it, and one day while he was at school, this fucking mad lad child decided to just cram it in the vending machine just to see what would happen. Percy is amazing and if you don’t love him, you’re wrong.

“Annabeth ran in right behind him, and I’ll admit my heart did a little relay race in my chest when I saw her. It’s not that she tried to look good… Still, just seeing her made me feel fuzzy in the head.” Actually screaming.

Clarisse’s friendship with Silena makes me so fucking happy. Clarisse is softer than she wants people to know and I love that about her. She’s so gentle with the people she loves and I’m here for it.

“Chiron and Annabeth exchanged looks, like they knew something that I didn’t. I hated when they did that.” Understandable. It happens a lot.

Oh, I recognize the name Chrysaor. Such a random reference, I love it.

JUST ADMIT YOU LIKE EACH OTHER YOU FRUITCAKES

“We headed downstairs to join the others. I didn’t know it then, but it would be the last time I ever visited the attic.” You know, Percy says something along these lines in every one of the books leading up to this one, and you’d think that I would learn to stop freaking out every time we get one of these lines, but you’d be wrong. Still getting anticipatory nausea and anxiety.

"The mountain tore itself apart, collapsing inward, and an enormous form rose out of the smoke and lava like it was emerging from a manhole." Typhon?!?!?! Do we have to deal with Typhon now too?!

Well shit, I guess we have to deal with Typhon now. Yeah, okay, sure, I don’t mind or anything.

“As far as I could tell, Rachel’s only rule about music was that no two songs on her i-Pod could sound the same, and they all had to be strange.” Hey, Rachel and I have the same music library.

Wait, so Rachel’s getting future vision dreams now too? But she’s not a half-blood, right? I thought only demi-gods got prophetic dreams.

Where the hell is Nico? What has he been doing this whole time? Just chilling in hell with dead people? And what even is his plan and why is it bad?

I think Silena is my new favorite character. Eating chocolates she doesn’t even like to try and cheer herself up is so horribly sad and depressingly relatable.

Percabeth!

“I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against the rules for two campers to be… like, alone in a cabin.” I see what you’re implying, Rick, and I’m laughing.

“And I know some of you might be thinking, Aren’t all demigods related on the godly side, and doesn’t that make dating gross? But the thing is, the godly side of your family doesn’t count, genetically speaking, since gods don’t have DNA. A demigod would never think about dating someone who had the same godly parent. Like two kids from Athena cabin? No way. But a daughter of Aphrodite and a son of Hephaestus? They’re not related. So it’s no problem.” This is exactly how I predicted half-blood dating works, and it absolutely did not need to be addressed, but I kind of love that it was. It’s probably only funny to me because I was talking to my friend about this exact topic during school, and I made a “god incest chart” on a whiteboard so I could figure out if Percabeth would be considered incest. We eventually decided no, but still. My other non-pjo fanatic friends definitely started to question my sanity after that.

OH MY GOD! Is something gonna happen?! Are they finally going to confess?! Please, God, just give me this!

FUCKING GODDAMMIT, RICK!!! YOU CAN’T KEEP BLUE-BALLING ME LIKE THIS OR I’M GONNA RIP YOUR HAIR OUT

Oh, yeah, where the hell is Grover?

Wow, Annabeth really going for the throat here.

Aww, giant hell puppy

Nico!

Aww, of course Nico is sweet with the hell puppy

“Leneus’s knees started knocking. ‘I… I won’t answer questions with this hellhound sniffing my tail!’ Nico looked like he was trying not to crack up. ‘I’ll walk the dog,’ he volunteered. He whistled, and Mrs. O’Leary bounded after him to the far end of the grove.” I love this child. This child is my spirit animal.

Aww, Nico likes Juniper. That’s kind of adorable.

“[Nico’s] cold creepy smile made me sorry I’d agreed.” Have I mentioned I love this child?

Okay, shadow travel is the coolest thing ever, and definitely one of the coolest powers you could give to a child of Hades.

Everything with Luke’s mom… Oh, that’s horrible. I can’t imagine having to come to the realization that your own parent isn’t entirely there, especially at so young.

Little girl… not a monster… and something to do with fire… Shit, I got nothing.

HESTIA! Goddammit… I should’ve known that one.

I like that Percy refers to both Paul and Sally as his parents.

I really like Paul. I love it when step-parents are portrayed in a positive light, ‘cause I’ve got a step-dad too, and he’s more of a dad to me and my brother than my biological father.

Percy telling Sally that his signal to let her know he’s alright will be blue just about broke me. Fuck.

Orpheus!

The black figure Grover saw—I know him. Hypnos, the god of dreams. He’s a twin brother to Thanatos, the god of death. I think in some versions, Hypnos is actually female, but most people seem to agree that Hypnos is a male deity.

MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, so not Hypnos. Morpheus. I guess that makes more sense. *one google search later* Okay, I was kind of right. Morpheus is the son of Hypnos, and while Hypnos is the personification of sleep, Morpheus is the god of dreams and also has the ability to put people to sleep like Hypnos. Close, but no cigar sadly.

Nico! Why would you trick Percy?? If you just told Percy that Hades wanted to talk to him, he probably would’ve agreed, you didn’t have to lie to him.

PERSEPHONE!!!!!! And Demeter!

Demeter being a massive bitch about Persephone choosing to marry Hades is so on-brand and perfect. And that line about marrying the god of lawyers or doctors—oh my God this book is amazing.

Can we have an entire book about Hades and Persephone, please? This entire scene with all three of them is golden.

Why does Hades suck? Why did you do this to me? I had faith in you, Rick.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO INDIFFERENT TO ALL OF THIS?!?!??!!

ACHILLES!!!!! Wait, isn’t Achilles supposed to be blond?

Is it a coincidence that one of Greece’s most famous gay icons now stands before Nico di Angelo?

ANNABETH IS PERCY’S LIFELINE!!!! HIS TETHER, THE THING THAT KEEPS HIM HUMAN!!!!!! ToT DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GLASS I CAN EAT

Holy fucking shit…… River Styx magic doesn’t fuck around.

Percy going on a murder rampage and nearly stabbing the god of the underworld because they threatened his dog is honestly such a mood.

*GASP* Baby Annabeth!

“The god looked at Annabeth, who was doing her big-pleading-gray-eyes thing.” The fact that Annabeth leverages puppy-dog eyes is hilarious, and the fact that Percy is so familiar with it by now implies that she’s done it on him before and that it apparently works! Oh my God, I love these children.

Also, Athena being an overprotective mother who doesn’t approve of Percy is just… Have I mentioned I love this book?

“‘This is a huge spell,’ Silena Beauregard said. ‘The bigger the spell, the easier it is to resist. If you want to sleep millions of mortals, you’ve got to cast a very thin layer of magic. Sleeping demigods is much harder.’” Yeah, that makes sense. Since the spell is bigger and spread across a greater number of people, it’s less concentrated than it would be if you wanted to just knock out two or three people.

The Hermes Cabin is just an army of Weasleys. (PJO Harry Potter au where the Weasleys are all children of Hermes and Harry is a son of Zeus when?)

“‘I’ll go with Percy,’ [Annabeth] said. ‘Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.’ Somebody in the back of the group said, ‘No detours, you two.’ There were some giggles, but I decided to let it pass.” Everyone knows Percy and Annabeth are completely obsessed with each other.

“The girl in the lead had spiky black hair and a black leather jacket. She wore a silver circlet on her head like a princess’s tiara, which didn’t match her skull earrings or her Death to Barbie T-shirt showing a little Barbie doll with an arrow through its head.” Have I mentioned that I love Thalia? Goth-punk icon for the generations.

This is so fucking epic. I love the fast-paced battle planning stuff.

Michael Yew has a brother named Austin. I have a brother named Austin.

Percabeth. There’s that light-hearted snarky banter I’ve been craving.

Oh, yeah, since Percy’s fighting the Minotaur right now, I figured I’d make a reminder here that I forgot to write down in my first reaction post to the Lightning Thief. In the original mythology, the Minotaur was killed by Theseus, who was also, coincidentally, a son of Poseidon, so Percy slaying the Minotaur is kind of like a mirror to the original myth, even though he’s named after Perseus. But also I thought this was a good time to remind everybody that the Minotaur’s mother Pasiphae had sex with the Cretan Bull, an actual animal. Which, fun fact, is because Poseidon arranged for Aphrodite to put a spell on Pasiphae to make her fall in love with the bull. Kind of awkward that the Minotaur is technically Poseidon’s fault, and now Percy is the one that has to deal with the consequences.

“Tied around the base of each blade were lots of bead necklaces. I realized they were Camp Half-Blood beads—necklaces taken from defeated demigods.” Holy shit, that is dark. We’re really going there, huh, Rick?

Percy is a first-class badass.

Having all the monsters disintegrate when they die is a pretty clever way to avoid having to show actual blood and gore.

ANNABETH!!!!!!!!!!

“‘Percy?’ Silena Beauregard sounded like she’d been crying. ‘Plaza Hotel. You’d better come quickly and bring a healer from Apollo’s cabin. It’s… it’s Annabeth.’” NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!! I SWEAR TO FUCK IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ANNABETH I’M GOING TO SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE

“‘Get back!’ I slashed the air in a wide arc, driving the rest of the demigods away from Annabeth. ‘No one touches her!’” This. All of this.

Will Solace. I found the other gay one, but I can’t even be excited about that because ANNABETH IS PROBABLY GOING TO FUCKING DIE

Even when Annabeth has actual poison in her system, she cannot resist the opportunity to tease Percy for being worried about her. I’m deeply upset, but I still love them as a couple.

This entire scene is everything. Annabeth touching Percy’s weak spot—this is easily the most romantic thing I have ever read, and I read fanfiction for a hobby.

Okay, someone really needs to find this spy because they are wreaking shit and hard

I have no idea who the spy could even be. My first thought was Silena because of how prominent a character she is, but not only does that not make sense, but that would also be a fucking horrible idea. I don’t need to hurt anymore than I already do right now.

Wow. Holy shit, Nico’s life is a fucking tragedy. This child needs all the therapy after this. I’m not thrilled with this portrayal of Persephone, but it is what it is and it is fucking depressing.

What is going on with Rachel? She knows Greek now?? What is happening???

Oh, hey, Prometheus

*after learning about Luke's backstory* I can smell the redemption arc.

I feel I should mention that in the original myth, Pandora was the first woman and was created by Zeus specifically to make men's lives harder as punishment for Prometheus giving man fire, because Ancient Greece was sexist as all fuck.

HOLY SHIT!!! Percy is a first-class badass!!

Okay, so, Hyperion getting absorbed into a tree is prime nightmare fuel.

(Also, I was listening to We Will Rock You as I read this scene, which I feel is pretty apt.)

"'Yeah, baby!' a voice wailed. 'PARTY!'" Ah, I see the centaurs have joined the chat.

"The last part was because a panicked Hyperborean giant stumbled backward and sat on top of him. The lord of time disappeared under a giant blue butt." Only in Percy Jackson can you expect to read a sentence like this.

I love Dionysus being weirdly invested in Pac-Man of all things. That entire conversation between him and Percy in the bar was absolutely hysterical. Percy is such a snarky little shit and I love any interaction between him and Dionysus. It’s like watching two smart-asses trying to out-roast the other.

Sally and Paul!

Oh, no. Oh, this fucking hurts.

That fucking jar! Goddammit!

Rachel!

Annabeth, stop acting like Rachel isn’t already your friend now too. We established that last book, remember? You guys are nerd friends now.

YAS, ANNABETH! Girl held onto the outside of a crashing helicopter, and after pulling herself in, somehow managed to make sense of the controls and not only stopped the helicopter from crashing into a building, but also pulled it out of the fall to turn in a circle and hover before landing it on a New York highway with other people nearby without hitting anything or hurting anyone else. And she did all of this while the helicopter was literally seconds from crashing. Also also, technically only hours after she was stabbed in the shoulder with a knife coated in poison. *slow clap* BAMF Annabeth Chase, everyone.

“Rachel plopped down on the curb and put her head in her hands. ‘I’m sorry, Percy. I didn’t mean to… I always mess things up.’ It was kind of hard to argue with her, though I was glad she was safe.” Jesus Christ, Percy. Annabeth’s abandonment issues and poor socialization skills are not Rachel’s fault. But I guess she did just fly headfirst into a literal warzone, so I guess Annabeth’s reaction is a bit more understandable.

“I looked in the direction Annabeth had gone, but she’d disappeared into the crowd. I couldn’t believe what she’d just done—saved Rachel’s life, landed a helicopter, and walked away like it was no big deal.” Yup. You picked a good one, Percy.

"'Everybody keeps telling me to sleep,' I grumbled. 'I don't need sleep.' Chiron managed a smile. 'Have you looked at yourself recently, Percy?'" Yeah, for real, when's the last time any of these kids slept?

"You can't just abandon your family because they did something horrible." Um. Yes. Yes, you absolutely can. The abuse victim says you can. (It's me, I'm the abuse victims, and I give you full permission to tell your family to go fuck themselves if they've ever done anything horrible to you.)

I get what the message is intended to be, and what Nico's trying to say: wanting revenge is a valid feeling to have, but holding grudges and holding onto that pain and fury will not actually make you feel any better. And by refusing to help the Olympians in the fight against Kronos, not only is Hades ultimately destroying himself, but he's also inadvertently aiding in the destruction of everyone else. Zeus is really the only one that deserves Hades's revenge, but at this point Hades isn't just hurting Zeus, he's hurting everyone, and when you cross the line of hurting innocent people in your quest to hurt the one that's actually guilty, your desire and quest for revenge is no longer justified. And if you've reached the point of hurting innocent people for no other reason than to make yourself feel better, then you really are no better than the person who hurt you in the first place. But none of this has anything to do with the so-called sanctity of "family".

We really need to find this fucking spy. They're running everything.

CLARISSE!!!!! YAY CLARISSE IS BACK!!!!!!

"Through her war helmet, I could only see her eyes—but I could tell something was wrong. Her blue eyes shone with fear. Clarisse never looked like that. And she didn't have blue eyes." Wait, what? What's going on????

"I looked down at the dying face of Silena Beauregard." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!????!!! WHY?!!??!!!??? WHY DID SILENA HAVE TO DIE?!??!! HAS SHE NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY?!??!!!

"Silena opened her hand. In her palm was a silver bracelet with a scythe charm, the mark of Kronos." WHAT

This entire chapter is literally nothing but pain.

"Standing at the foot of Zeus's throne, looking up at the stars, was Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She was holding a Greek ceramic vase." Oh no.

"[Rachel] focused on me as if she were coming out of a dream. 'I found it. It's Pandora's jar, isn't it?'" OH NO

"Her eyes were brighter than usual, and I had a bad flashback of moldy sandwiches and burned cookies." OH FUCK

"I picked up Pandora's jar. The spirit of Hope fluttered inside, trying to warm the cold container. 'Hestia,' I said, 'I give this to you as an offering.' The goddess tilted her head. 'I am the least of the gods. Why would you trust me with this?' 'You're the last Olympian,' I said." Title drop! It's all coming together!

This is the hypest thing I have read in years.

Chiron! Please don't die, I am literally begging you.

NICO'S BACK!

Everyone here is a fucking badass

Paul just stabbed a monster with a sword, and Sally fucking shot another one! In stories like these with divine powers and weapons that begin and end with stabbing, you are not expecting someone to just pull out a fucking gun and shoot the thing. I love this book.

"'Thalia!' Grover cried. When the dust cleared and the mountain stopped rocking, we found her still alive, but her legs were pinned under the statue." Holy fucking shit!

"Annabeth wipes her tears away. 'There was a time I thought… well, I thought…' She looked at me, like she was drinking in the fact that I was still here. And I realized I was doing the same thing. The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive." Love. Just love. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and I love these kids so much and I'm so glad they found each other.

"I turned and faced the Olympians. 'We need a shroud,' I announced, my voice cracking. 'A shroud for the son of Hermes.'" I mean…… What can I even say?

Percy's wish is everything.

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO RACHEL?!??! Someone really needs to do something about this!

I love that Percy refers to Blackjack as his pegasus.

RAINBOW! <3

Oh! She has the gift of prophecy! Now that makes sense!

Wait. OH, FUCK!!

Okay, I'm glad Rachel is okay, but these fucking prophecies, man! We literally just got done with the Great Prophecy, but now there's another one we have to deal with?! Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna read it and I'll probably love it, but still!

The moment when Percy and Annabeth finally get together is everything I ever hoped for, and it completely justifies every goddamn fake-out leading up to this point. I'm just so happy right now

That ending, man..... This book series is amazing. I'm so glad I was able to fall in love with it without knowing any significant spoilers. I cannot wait to read The Heroes of Olympus. Maybe I'll do a reaction series for that too.

#pjo #percy jackson the last olympian #the last olympian #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #rachel elizabeth dare #clarisse la rue #silena beauregard #luke castellan #grover underwood #pjo kronos #nico di angelo #pjo hades #thalia grace

[ktmarison]

a  new  brain  sentence  starters.

'  frogs  have  so  much  spring  within  them.  '  

'  just  play  me  what  you  have.  '  

'  we  live  in  perilous  times.  '  

'  what  the  hell  am  i  doing  ?  who  am  i  fooling  ?  '  

'  they're  nature's  little  acrobats,  i  hate  them  more  than  kitty  cats.  '  

'  is  he  angry  that  he  doesn't  have  the  song  yet  ?  '  

'  i  hate  (name)  and  this  job.  god,  it's  bad.  '  

'  he's  taking  up  the  brunt  of  my  time.  '  

'  it's  called  a  job,  and  by  the  way,  i'd  like  to  keep  mine.  '  

'  i  don't  have  time  to  write  my  real  stuff.  '  

'  i  can't  express  what  i  mean  to  convey.  '  

'  so  of  course,  i  didn't  write  enough  today.  '  

'  if  you  don't  keep  writing,  you'll  be  shown  the  door.  '  

'  you  know  (name)  hates  you.  '  

'  i  think  he  hates  you  more.  '  

'  why  does  (name)  hate  me  ?  '  

'  don't  let  your  career  go  to  the  dogs.  '  

'  i  hate  (name),  he's  homophobic.  i  hate  him  and  his  putrid  little  son.  '  

'  he  dominates,  it's  claustrophobic.  '  

'  when  i  know  my  place,  he  gives  me  space  to  hate  what  i  have  done.  '  

'  yeah,  i'm  sitting  on  his  face  right  now.  '  

'  him,  a  broadway  show  ?  i  don't  think  so.  '  

'  inside  me,  i  feel  washed  up  and  through.  '  

'  writing  this  shit's  killed  my  talent.  '  

‘  something  is  wrong.  ’  

'  stroke's  a  possibility.  '  

'  life  him  carefully.  on  one,  two,  three.  '  

'  i  should  try  to  locate  his  mother.  '  

'  hysterics  are  self  defeating,  don't  you  know  ?  '  

'  call  the  department  of  neurology.  '  

'  i  should  try  to  cancel  my  meetings.  '  

'  all  the  stories  i  delayed  in  telling  are  welling  up  inside  my  brain.  '  

'  i  should  explain.  '  

'  you  gotta  have  heart  and  music  to  survive.  '  

'  if  I  only  had  the  time  what  I  would  write  for  your  delight.  '  

'  everyone  talks  about  change.  '  

'  hey,  i'm  bringing  you  a  new  day.  '  

'  today  will  be  a  new  day.  '  

'  in  the  darkest  of  dark  despair,  i'll  be  found  sitting  there.  '  

'  if  you  want  me  to  say  life's  fair,  that  is  something  i  can't  say.  '  

'  this  you  cannot  change,  mother.  '  

'  this  thing's  outside  of  our  control.  '  

'  this  whole  rigmarole  is  a  joke  i  don't  understand.  '  

'  my  world  has  changed.  '  

'  anything  that's  wrecked,  mother's  gonna  make  things  fine.  '  

'  there's  trouble  in  your  brain.  '  

'  i  can't  believe  this  is  happening.  they're  going  to  operate  on  my  brain  ?  '  

'  it's  all  gonna  be  alright  ?  did  you  hear  anything  he  said  ?  jesus  !  '  

'  maybe  you  want  to  grow  up  a  little  bit  before  you  die,  huh  ?  '  

'  be  polite  to  everybody.  '  

'  be  polite  to  everybody,  everybody  except  all  your  nearest  and  your  dearest.  '  

'  they  love  too  much  and  earn  your  spite,  so  never  be  polite.  '  

'  you  want  me  to  go  ?  i'll  just  go  !  '  

'  you  know,  nobody  invited  you  here  !  '  

'  be  polite.  '  

'  you're  rude  sometimes.  you're  rude  to  me.  '  

'  i'd  rather  be  sailing.  '  

'  the  water's  incredibly  blue.  '  

'  i'd  wanna  go  sail  and  then  come  home  to  you.  '  

'  sex  is  good,  but  i'd  rather  be  sailing.  '  

'  food  is  nice,  but  i'd  rather  be  sailing.  '  

'  he'd  rather  be  sailing.  '  

'  if  i  can  help  you,  please  let  me  help  you.  '  

'  the  others  won't  help  you.  those  bitches.  '  

'  anything  that's  wrong  is  his  father's.  '  

'  the  bad  trait  will  always  predominate.  '  

'  that  is  the  law  of  genetics.  '  

'  we  have  lousy  aesthetics.  '  

'  why  is  the  smart  son  always  the  gay  son  ?  '  

'  the  race  is  soon  beginning.  '  

'  my  father  had  a  hunch.  '  

'  we  gave  up  lunch  so  daddy  could  make  a  wager.  '  

'  mommy  sat  and  cried,  but  dad  was  unaffected.  '  

'  have  you  ever  had  a  better  two  minutes  in  the  last  three  years  ?  '  

'  sometimes  joy  has  a  terrible  cost,  i  know  that.  '  

'  there  is  blood  on  the  ground.  '  

'  isn't  life  funny  ?  people  lose  money  and  have  fun.  '  

'  betting,  of  course,  is  hell  on  the  horses  and  on  families  where  the  betting  is  done.  '  

'  it's  a  joke  to  believe  someone's  won.  '  

'  all  we  did  was  fight.  '  

'  we  also  laughed  a  lot.  that  was  a  thing  i  often  forgot  to  tell  you,  but  it's  true.  '  

'  please,  can  you  spare  me  some  change,  sir  ?  '  

'  what  the  fuck  took  you  so  long  ?  '  

'  that's  okay.  it's  not  like  you  left  after  you  found  out.  .  .  did  you  ?  '  

'  you're  such  an  asshole.  '  

'  i  need  a  new  brain.  '  

'  that's  not  a  crime.  '  

'  am  i  insane  ?  '  

'  will  i  be  the  same  old  me  ?  '  

'  go  get  dinner.  '  

'  lean  back,  relax.  '  

'  look  at  me.  just  go.  don't  say  anything,  just  go.  '  

'  i  can't  even  walk  across  the  room  unassisted,  so  go.  go  away.  '  

'  don't  !  please  don't  touch  my  skin.  because  up  to  now  i've  been  very  strong  and  so  heroic  you  wouldn't  recognize  me.  '  

'  if  you  make  me  cry,  then  i'll  probably  have  to  kill  you.  i  will,  you  know.  '  

'  sometimes  you're  a  doozy.  '  

'  sometimes  when  you  talk,  i  feel  so  damn  woozy.  '  

'  i'm  not  going  nowhere.  '  

'  honey,  i  don't  wanna  be  here,  either.  '  

'  who  would  have  thought  i  would  end  up  like  that  ?  '  

'  surely,  in  no  time,  you'll  be  back  to  normal  in  your  evening  formal.  '  

'  there  is  a  list  of  things  i  regret.  '  

'  don't  tell  this  story  to  little  children  'cause  you're  gonna  scare  them.  '  

'  stop  me  if  you've  heard  this  before,  'cause  if  you've  heard  this  before,  hell,  it's  just  more  of  the  same.  '  

'  soon  you'll  be  back  home,  a  success  in  training.  i'll  be  here,  complaining.  '  

'  i  am  not  so  damn  successful.  '  

'  you're  too  old  to  be  a  failure.  '  

'  your  future's  looking  cloudy,  and  your  sister  is  a  whore.  '  

'  i  don't  mean  to  make  this  more  stressful  than  it's  already  become,  but...  '  

'  you're  poor,  unsuccessful,  and  dumb,  and  untalented.  homo,  psychotically  grim,  and  untalented.  '  

'  thank  you  for  coming,  and  thank  you  for  going.  '  

'  today  is  not  a  good  day.  '  

'  it'll  only  take  forty  five  minutes.  '  

'  i  hate  the  sun.  '  

'  it's  hotter  than  a  pregnant  cow.  '  

'  would  it  kill  you  to  try  to  enjoy  this  a  little  bit  ?  this  is  my  favorite  thing  in  the  world.  '  

'  i  think  we're  moving.  '  

'  things  are  improving.  '  

'  could  that  be  a  metaphor  ?  '  

'  stillness  isn't  the  bastard  that  i  thought  it  might  be.  '  

'  that  wasn't  so  bad,  was  it  ?  '  

'  that  wasn't  bad  at  all  !  '  

'  veins  and  brains  are  like  balloons,  filled  with  blood.  sometimes,  they  burst  if  worse  comes  to  worse.  '  

'  he  can't  guarantee  success,  but  you  really  have  no  options.  '  

'  the  only  answer,  more  or  less,  is  absolutely  yes.  '  

'  my  kids  and  i  have  tickets  to  see  fun  home.  '  

'  now  that  we  know  what's  wrong,  we  just  have  to  get  it  fixed.  '  

'  i  don't  think  that  now's  the  right  time  to  have  too  much  hope.  '  

'  would  you  ever  consider  lying  close  to  me  tonight  ?  '  

'  i'm  inviting  you  to  sleep  in  my  arms.  '  

'  maybe  we'll  read  a  book  you  always  meant  to  read.  '  

'  fuck  him  !  '  

'  just  disregard  what  i  said.  '  

'  if  you  get  overanxious,  pick  up  a  pen.  '  

'  i'd  love  to  love,  but  need  to  write.  '  

'  i  get  distracted  so  damn  easily.  '  

'  there'll  be  other  nights  i'll  have  to  sleep  in  your  arms.  '  

'  look,  it's  my  decision,  okay  ?  '  

'  why  is  he  making  such  a  scene  ?  '

'  goodnight,  my  loves.  '  

'  tonight,  though,  could  be  my  very  last  to  write  something  i  could  be  remembered  by.  '  

'  it  may  not  be  a  great  song,  but  it  could  be  my  last  song.  '  

'  i  hope  you'll  understand  if  i  simply  kiss  your  hand  and  say  goodnight.  '  

'  i  don't  ask  you  to  treat  me  nice.  '  

'  i'm  not  asking  for  paradise.  '  

'  all  i'm  asking  for  is  change.  '  

'  i'm  not  asking  for  sympathy.  '  

'  i  don't  ask  for  hugs,  i  just  need  money  to  buy  more  drugs.  '  

'  i  don't  ask  you  to  notice  what  i'm  wearing,  i  could  care  less  for  things  like  that,  all  i'm  asking  for  is  change.  '  

'  the  preferred  word  in  any  kind  of  situation  is  yes.  '  

'  oh,  yes,  i'd  like  to  do  that.  '  

'  the  world's  increasingly  absurd.  '  

'  yes  is  a  good  word.  '  

'  you're  gonna  see  it  on  tv.  '  

'  don't  touch  me.  '  

'  yes  is  the  word  that  opens  the  door  to  being  most  alive.  '  

'  yes,  i  absolutely  have  to  sing  !  '  

'  would  you  like  to  lose  your  virginity  ?  '  

'  i  don't  even  know  what  you're  writing  about  sometimes  !  '  

'  this  is  a  goddamn  kid's  show.  '  

'  where's  my  son  ?  '  

'  i  don't  throw  a  fit,  and  i  don't  start  crying.  '  

'  it's  a  damn  charade  that  i  can't  abide.  '  

'  the  fact  remains:  i  could  soon  be  dead.  '  

'  here  i  stand,  in  the  middle  of  the  road,  waiting  for  a  car  to  come  along  and  kill  me.  '  

'  i  am  frightened  he  will  die.  '  

'  kill  me  please,  straight  ahead,  make  me  dead,  get  it  over  with.  '  

'  oh,  god,  what  a  mess.  '  

'  i  don't  want  to  guess  how  long  he'll  live.  or  if  he'll  live.  he  better  live.  '  

'  if  i  don't  throw  out  the  books,  i  will  throw  myself  out  the  window.  '  

'  how  can  he  just  sit  there,  thinking  he  will  die  ?  '  

'  where's  his  fight  and  vigor  ?  '  

'  i'll  just  keep  denying  what's  becoming  clear.  '  

'  i  ask  them  why  they're  not  being  mean.  '  

'  i  send  love  every  which  way.  '  

'  i  would  like  to  entertain,  but  i'll  merely  say  goodbye.  '  

'  what  are  you  looking  so  sad  for  ?  '  

'  it  was  worse  than  the  doctor  had  feared.  '  

'  i  thought  by  now  he'd  be  awake.  at  least,  i  hoped  he'd  be  awake.  '  

'  it  was  a  really  lousy  day  in  the  universe.  '  

'  what  are  you  looking  surprised  for  ?  '  

'  we  hoped  things  would  turn  out  better.  '  

'  things  don't  get  better.  they  only  seem  to,  then  they  don't.  '  

'  life  is  a  rotten  occasion.  '  

'  i  give  therapy  for  free.  i'm  just  glad  to  have  a  client  finally.  '  

'  the  jerk  is  in  a  coma.  '  

'  his  mother  hopes  he  dies  if  he  gets  worse.  '  

'  what  a  mess  i  got  us  into.  '  

'  baby,  maybe  lift  my  head  up  ?  '

'  stupid  and  thoughtless  is  what  i  am.  '  

'  you  deserve  an  explanation.  '  

'  you  have  limitations,  darling.  '  

'  scream  your  accusations,  don't  be  well  bred.  '  

'  life  ain't  always  happiness  and  light.  '  

'  i  thought  if  i  could  finish  a  song  or  five,  i'd  be  brain  dead  but  alive.  '  

'  there's  a  bright  green  thing  between  your  teeth,  dear.  please  don't  smile.  '  

'  i'm  out  here  hallucinating.  '  

'  please  someone  kill  me  if  i  survive.  '  

'  i  had  a  son.  he  was  one  of  a  kind.  '  

'  we  were  two  intertwined.  '  

'  i  look  damn  good  in  a  hat.  '  

'  i  don't  want  sympathy.  '  

'  he  was  here,  and  now  he's  gone.  '  

'  this  is  how  he  thinks  i'll  be  when  he  dies.  '  

'  i  married  too  young.  i  was  bash,  i  was  bold.  '  

'  i  married  too  young,  and  divorced  far  too  old.  '  

'  love  is  here,  and  then  it's  gone.  '  

'  love  is  stupid  and  it  bleeds.  '  

'  i  think  it's  wonderful.  '  

'  once,  it  was  wonderful.  '  

'  it's  sad  and  gloomy  over  where  i  am.  maybe  it's  sad  and  gloomy  where  you  are  too.  '  

'  when  you  wanna  quit  'cause  nothing  works,  don't  give  in.  '  

'  quitting  is  the  specialty  of  jerks.  '  

'  simply  keep  your  focus  on  what  lies  ahead.  '  

'  life  is  a  cause  that  you  have  to  take  up.  '  

'  when  you  think  you're  dying,  well  you  ain't.  '  

'  every  day  you'll  grow,  you'll  become  more  ready  to  confront  the  dark  before  the  dawn.  '  

'  strange  things  happen  more  than  you  would  guess.  '  

'  it's  time  to  live  your  life.  '  

'  i  won't  need  to  see  you  again.  '  

'  i  won't  expect  to  hear  things  went  wrong.  '  

'  you  boys  are  gonna  get  me  in  so  much  trouble.  '  

'  a  nurse  should  help  his  patients  get  better,  not  always  according  to  the  letter.  '  

'  are  you  alright  in  there  ?  '  

'  i  feel  like  i'm  sailing,  it's  insane.  '  

'  i  choose  to  live.  '  

'  before  was  a  failing  of  my  brain,  which  you  must  forgive.  '  

'  we  have  books,  all  sorts  of  fiction.  '  

'  mothers  throw  their  books  away  when  mothers  get  mad.  '  

'  i  feel  about  eight.  '  

'  don't  hyperventilate,  it's  normal  out  on  the  street.  '  

'  it's  raining,  which  i  abhor.  '  

'  you  won't  find  him  complaining  anymore.  '  

'  life  is  wonderful.  '  

'  i  can't  believe  what  i  see,  half  these  books  belong  to  me  !  '  

'  you  have  found  my  history.  '  

'  you  don't  know  what  this  means  to  me.  '  

'  i'm  not  going  to  pay  for  my  own  goddamn  books.  '  

'  i  don't  care  if  you're  a  saint,  it's  two  bucks.  '  

'  i  don't  care  if  life's  a  silly  picnic,  which  is  something  that  it  ain't.  '  

'  you're  making  me  crazy.  '  

'  they're  just  books.  '  

'  what  am  i  doing  ?  '  

'  everything's  changed  and  nothing's  changed.  '  

'  let's  begin  from  scratch.  '  

'  i  feel  so  much  spring  within  me.  '  

'  something's  taken  wind  within  me.  '  

'  what  was  dark  so  long  had  felt  like  winter.  finally,  there's  sun.  '  

'  i  feel  so  much  dawn  around  me.  '  

'  i  think  i'm  finally  losing  my  mind.  ’

#rp memes #rp sentence prompts #rp sentence meme #sentence #sentence starters #prompt #meme #ask meme #roleplay meme #askbox #ask sentence meme #in trousers rp #in trousers sentence starters #in trousers ask meme #falsettos rp #falsettos sentence starters #falsettos ask meme #a new brain rp #a new brain sentence starters #a new brain ask meme

[disastardly]

characters out of context game

Rules:

Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like)

Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Have fun, no pressure!

@eriquin​ tagged me, thank you!!

Gonna do Emergence just because that’s the only WIP I’ve got right now with more than one chapter remotely written, haha. Buckle up, it’s a long’n, so it’s going under the break.

Chapter 1:

The apprentice added, voice squeaking, “What does this mean?”

Chapter 2:

“It’s all the magic,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Totally interrupts typical radio waves.”

Chapter 3:

“Good luck with your war.”

Chapter 4:

“Can you hear them too? The trees?”

Chapter 5: 

“So what are you gonna do now, knowing what’s out there?”

Chapter 6:

“So I guess you see us in that future, huh?”

Chapter 7:

“Nick, jesus, did you forget how keys work?”

Chapter 8:

“No comments on my skanking, got enough of that in middle school.”

Chapter 9:

"Listen, I'm not saying plants aren't great. Love the stuff. Can't get enough. But isn't botany kind of, you know… slow?"

Chapter 10:

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It all just happened so fast and I was worried what people would think.”

Chapter 11:

“No, but Xander and I had a great talk. Really aired out how I’m not wanted here.”

Chapter 12:

“They’re dating, ya ding-dong.”

Chapter 13:

“Do you even know how to drive one of these things?”

Chapter 14:

“Still can’t believe you, Madison Rocca, conned me. No one cons me. Was all that before, was that a ploy? Lull me into a false sense of security?”

Chapter 15:

“Gotopromwithme.”

Chapter 16:

“How many ‘maybe a dingo ate your baby’ jokes did you get?”

Chapter 17:

“Oh cool, it’s dirt, just like all the other dirt.”

Chapter 18:

“And yet, against all odds, you have survived, when the Darkness kills most it touches. It is a truly remarkable feat for anyone, let alone a new practitioner.”

Chapter 19:

“Toby thinks we’re getting ice cream from that fancy truck round the corner.”

Chapter 20:

"Is it still leering if we're all naked?"

Chapter 21:

“Okay, so, dark magic.”

Chapter 22:

"Hey, I think if you hit them in that big Z on their chest, they explode!"

Chapter 23:

“Hey Xan? Good catch on this one. Having a heads-up isn’t a luxury we’re gonna get often.”

Chapter 24:

“I’m gonna find that monster and I’m gonna tear it to pieces with my own hands,”

Chapter 25:

“You flaunt your power and yet it slips through your fingers so easily,”

Chapter 26:

"Very little goes on in Root Core that I do not know about. And," she added, leveling a wily smirk at them, "I too was young once. You would not believe some of the tomfoolery we engaged in at your age."

Chapter 27:

“Filled with life, joy, and power, we now declare our wills for the next year. Jump the coals, pass through the smoke, and send your will into the greater universe.”

Chapter 28:

(this chapter is all internal monologue!)

Chapter 29:

“If we’re not duly impressed, guaranteed he’ll sulk all day, so prepare yourselves.”

Chapter 30:

“You’ll have to go through me if you want them, you sick fuck.”

Chapter 31:

“My magic doesn’t work, your magic doesn’t work, there’s no way out. Good job, Dad, we’re going to die here.”

Chapter 32:

“Least this narrows down where we need to look. ‘Torture dimension’ is a lot more specific than ‘anywhere, ever.’”

Chapter 33:

"Haggling with a dying man. How noble. What would your White Witch think?"

Chapter 34:

"If it is not, it is something wearing his face,"

Chapter 35:

“Yeah, anyone else want to come out as my parent today?”

...and that’s as much as I have written right now! Currently 50 chapters on the docket, so I’m inching closer to completion (and therefore, actually posting this behemoth.)

#my writing #writeblr #tag games #Power Rangers Mystic Force #power rangers fanfiction #fanfiction

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 142 Rundown

Spy X Family: It’s the ‘Anya is bad at everything’ episode, I mean it’s not surprising, she’s only six and probably even younger than that since she padded her resume to get shacked up with Loid in the first place but she’s kind of ridiculously bad at school for a telepath and can’t do sports or concentrate on anything for more than five seconds, so yeah, accurate kid behavior. She says she’s been reading peoples’ minds on tests but doesn’t know who’s actually good at what subjects and everyone sounds confident in their heads I guess so she gets ridiculously bad grades, you’d think she’d at least get a high D based on simple probability like I don’t think Eden has kids that are just complete shit at everything. Though Loid puts a pin in her ideas to cheat since if she suddenly gets good it’ll hurt her popularity which is pretty bad given Becky’s the only one that actually likes her atm. Loid decides to get her some community service to pad her resume which you usually don’t have to do until junior high but I guess it’s fine, they volunteer as a hospital and Anya’s so bad at everything they get kicked out and speaking as someone that fucked up a lot of community service in high school that’s REALLY hard to do. Still Anya hears a kid thinking they’re going to die while they’re drowning with a broken leg and runs off to go help him. Loid’s technically the one that saves him but Anya does get some credit for effort and honestly for risking Loid catching on to her telepathy like even if she doesn’t actually do that much she does a good job putting herself out there and gets her first Gym Badge as a reward (Anya got the Boulderbadge! Doot de doot!) Because Anya’s the youngest person to get a badge this early… basically ever, she becomes a minor celebrity at school but just like Loid said it also leads to jealousy from her classmates though when people start claiming she rigged or bribed someone to get it, Damian sticks up for her… well he sticks up for the school saying that they don’t go to some shitty public school where you can just buy glory (I’m assuming he’s tried) but it ends up getting everyone to shut up about Anya. Becky mentions that kids usually get rewards for big accomplishments like this which idk I think that’s some kind of rich person thing, me and everyone I know just got to keep going on for not fucking up but okay. So she decides she wants a dog because Damian has a dog and if they become dog friends then World Peace or something. Meanwhile a dog that’s used for bomb threats already has visions of the Forgers in his head so I guess this is some kind of Ein Data Dog shenanigans so sure.

Inuyasha: This is one of those episodes that feels like filler but is actually almost entirely canon. Hakudoshi’s still running around cutting off demon heads so he can look into their hearts as they die and see into the afterlife and also the Board guy from the filler episode with the mind control crowns is back for like five minutes before Entei launches him across the sky Team Rocket style again. One of these headless demons is the father of Kanta, a baby otter demon who has retrieved his father’s head and is hoping if he just sticks it back on quick enough his father will live. Shippo, being someone who knows what it’s like to have some bishonen asshole kill your dad for a stupid reason, instantly relates to this and agrees to help. The group track down the body but only after a bunch of villagers have stabbed it and it’s crawled to Sesshomaru with its last ounce of strength. Tenseiga’s telling Sesshomaru ‘hey asshole, care for once in your life I promise there’s something in it for you’ but he’s not budging. Shippo begs Sesshomaru to use the Tenseiga on Kanta’s dad and he absolutely does not care. It’s a rare Shippo/Sesshomaru interaction which I just find kind of funny because in the Inuyasha fighting game Shippo’s basically a joke character and Sesshomaru actually is the final boss of his story mode (which ends up being all a dream). Inuyasha who’s probably still more than a little salty about Sesshomaru just standing there watching Kikyo die is like ‘sorry Shippo, Sesshomaru doesn’t help people, he probably doesn’t even have it in him to care to use Tenseiga’ and Sesshomaru’s like ‘you’re god damn right, I give negative fucks’ but a little more prodding from Tenseiga and the inherent primal desire to prove your younger brother wrong that exists in all older siblings eventually wins him over. He uses the Tenseiga in front of Inuyasha’s group for the first time and resurrects the Otter Dad who then tells everyone about the Afterlife and it rings more than a few bells as Sesshomaru, Inuyasha and Kagome have all been there before (and Inuyasha and Kagome in particular are gonna be spending like 15 years there in Yashahime so better get comfortable) it’s the grave of Inuyasha’s dad which seems kinda funny like you just put your fucking grave/corpse in the afterlife and make it insanely hard for your sons to visit you but then again he also put his sword inside his own corpse so idk what he was thinking. Shippo gets flashbacks about his dad and gets fatherly headpats and the satisfaction of saving a child from being adopted by a D&D party of scoundrels like he was and now Inuyasha’s group and Sesshomaru know where Hakudoshi is headed they just need to get there.

Yu Yu Hakusho: This episode’s a lot of waffling so I don’t know how much I’ll have to say about it but the basic idea is Yusuke is going to let Sensui kill him to let Kuwabara go Super Saiyan and most of the episode is everyone crying about this, like seeing the relationship from Kuwabara’s perspective and hearing him say he doesn’t know who he is without Yusuke is neat but it doesn’t give me a lot to discuss. They do talk about how the point of sealing them in Prismo was so that they couldn’t run away because Kurama and Hiei are crafty enough to hide out for a while and stage a counterattack while demons start wrecking shit so they could come back in like a couple months with a training arc being all La Resistance and be a problem but they aren’t worried that even the four of them put together could stop Sensui. Yusuke tells Sensui to just fucking do it already and Sensui’s kinda like ‘wait this kinda sucks’ because he wanted his viewpoint challenged more but now he’s sure he’s right and won’t be talk no jutsu’d out of it and Yusuke can’t punch it out of him so he’s just gonna poke him to death. Kuwabara summons his Super Dimension Sword and cuts through Prismo just in time to see Yusuke get struck down and we go on for a while about how Yusuke is definitely absolutely totally dead, then again this show didn’t even have the balls to let GENKAI stay dead so I doubt Yusuke’s second death will stick any better than his first one.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Kento and Mahito continue their fight and they don’t outright say it but what I THINK is happening here is that Kento gets super strong during the time of day which coincides with his fraction powers which also lines up with doing overtime in a 9-5 which is pretty funny. He’s able to flatten Mahito but the guy just pulls a T1000 and escapes. Meanwhile Yuji meets up with Junpei and luckily hit it off thanks to Junpei being a film nut and Yuji having spent the past few weeks strapped into a chair watching movies clockwork orange style with a boxing Hello Kitty doll, which is a nice bit of continuity. Because Yuji is an adorable nerd and Junpei’s like a day or two away from becoming a domestic terrorist and doesn’t have friends, Junpei’s mom invites Yuji over for dinner and they hang out and make bad movie references. They talk a bit and since murder’s been on Junpei’s mind lately and he knows Yuji’s a Jujutsu Sorcerer thanks to Mahito telling him to get chummy with any he meets, he asks if Yuji’s ever killed anyone. He says no because technically the zombie mooks were already dead and everything else was on Sukuna even if you’re not being racist about Cursed Spirits not counting. Yuji says he wants to preserve his own version of the value he places on human life and the type of deaths he wants to ensure for people he cares about and even if it was someone evil, killing someone would devalue his perception of life and bleed into how he feels about the lives of who he cares about which I suppose is as good a reason as any for the weird ‘nobody kill anybody unless you have plausible deniability’ that shonen protagonists have for some reason. This reasoning resonates with Junpei and he vows to not kill anyone either… and five minutes later his mom finds a Sukuna finger and dies and he’s officially an emo domestic terrorist. Mahito tells him it’s probably someone who took out a hit on him even though 99% of people probably don’t even know that’s a thing, like at first I thought they were gonna try and pin this on Yuji put they jump right to this asshole dude at school so I guess Yuji’s just too much of a cinnamon roll for Junpei to even think that. Mahito even talks about letting the finger go and I’m not sure if he means he planted it or if he’s just allowing Jujutsu High to have it because his plan is to let Junpei and Yuji fight and have that force Yuji to give Sukuna enough power to take over permanently. Kento confronts Yuji and tells him that it’s not bad that he doesn’t want to kill people but that innocence means he can’t take him to go murder the head honchos even if it means he has to sit on the sidelines and watch his partner die. Junpei had Curse powers now and is getting ready to beat the shit out of School Douche and kill everyone but Yuji busts into Mahito’s ‘weak people only’ barrier and is ready to stop him.

Chainsaw Man: So Aki sticks his head in the Future Devil’s chest vagina so it can tell his fortune and the Devil’s like ‘oh bro, you are gonna have the WORST DEATH, like I’mma give you basically a free ride just because I wanna be there to see it’ and since Aki is Sasuke he’s fine with this. Power and Denji also complete their off-screen training and are supposedly stronger, dunno if they got new powers or if they’re just able to use any two brain cells they can rub together now. Makima pays a visit to the Yakuza to get the names of their former members who made contracts with the Gun Devil who is apparently just running a black market gun smuggling operation at this point but she gets some pushback about how the Yakuza maintain a balance of power as a necessary evil which is really not an argument you should be making to Makima of all people, she’s Mrs. Necessary Evil, she’s been lying to everyone’s face about her motives and is still in power because no one can get a read on her and she can do anything which she proves by rocking up to the Yakuza’s casting couch with a sack of eyeballs which apparently they somehow took out of the Yakuza’s family members without killing them, point being she can now use her Death Note powers on like, the majority of Katana Man and Snake Girl’s mooks. Also the bad guys have some leftover zombies from the Zombie Devil shit in episode one but they’re basically just fodder to keep the other Public Security Devils they introduce at bay but the Angel Devil’s the only one in they opening so I’m assuming they’re the only one that’s immediately relevant (also their introductions use Fiend and Devil interchangeably but I know those are separate things so I’m not sure if some are Devils and some are Fiends but just letting you know the vocabulary is kind of unclear). The main group decide to split up and search for Katana Man and Snake Girl and Aki finds Snake Girl first who has her devil puke up Himeno’s Ghost Devil which is kind of a jip like Himeno had to give up her whole body to even summon it and her eye to use just one arm but I guess Snake Girl was in an advantageous bargaining position given it was INSIDE HER SNAKE, but you’d think the GHOST Devil couldn’t be trapped inside things but what would I know. Anyway, Ghost Devil chokes out Aki, the end.

Ranking of Kings: Daida’s stuck in the sunken place and is left to reflect on what a dick he’s been to Bojji and how his teachers tried to hammer into him how people with disabilities have their own kind of strength from learning to live with them and carrying on that he as a privileged ableist asshole never learned but he didn’t understand until just now. He then finds a reflection of a young Miranjo who’s had her hands cut off and her face deformed by vengeful villagers who blame her for a calamity and despite still being a minor asshole about it, Daida does the right thing and protects her. Meanwhile in the Underworld, Desha has found the rat-eating guy from last time’s stinger has pulled an Impel Down prison break and brought five other notorious criminals with him to go take down Daida!Bosse so Desha’s like ‘okay let’s go save them and take over their kingdom while we’re in the neighborhood’ and the soldiers take Bojji with them on their way back to the kingdom without telling him about that last part. But yeah apparently Miranjo’s some kind of homunculus or something because she’s gone from being a deformed child to a living woman that can kind of awkwardly function to being trapped in a mirror only able to astral project into a puppet so idk what her deal is. But right now Hilling is with Shield guy, and her group and Bojji are both separately on their way back to the castle and Sword Guy and Kirito Henchman are training and waiting while Spear Guy’s simping for Miranjo and Snake Guy is… idk, dying in a cave I think and Daida!Bosse has like five swords pressed into his neck and is still like ‘No sir, not getting out of this chair’ even though he objectively has the strength to flatten them all. So many people in this series act in ways that make no sense and I assume it’ll all get explained but it’s frustrating to watch in the moment.

Vinland Saga: Thorkell’s men are still transporting Canute to hold him for ransom and get into a fun Jesus vs Thor who would win debate and I don’t know when Death Battle will get around to that one. They get jumped by a squad of Ragnar’s men who come to save him and they try the Usopp BS of ‘oh I control thousands of men’ when they have like a fifth of that and they’re mowed down like crazy anyway. Thorkell actually gives Canute back to them so they have no excuse for holding back Ragnar wants to dip the fuck out of English dodge but Thorkell calls them pussies and the men are attacking and getting murdered so quick. Meanwhile Askeladd’s playing both sides and starting a forest fire to cause confusion and whittle down the numbers of both forces. It’s also time for plan ‘Throw Thorfinn in and hope shit works out’ aka Askeladd’s favorite fucking plan and have him run in and grab Canute and run out. Thorfin rides in on a flaming horse and manages to get Canute fairly safely but runs into Thorkell who wants to fight and is just BARELY turned off from it by the fucking flaming hellscape around them killing his murderboner a bit but on his way out he’s like ‘oh bee tee dubs I knew your dad, we fought together in the cold open’ and now Thorfinn has a measuring stick to throw at his inferiority complex. They get Canute back to Asekladd and Ragnar’s like “Askeladd you are in HUGE trouble for doing it this way but you’re literally our only option so we’ll let it slide for now’ Askeladd asks Canute to take off his helmet and to absolutely no one’s surprise watching, he’s extremely bishie like if you were watching this up to this point and didn’t expect him to take off the helmet and be Milliardo Peacecraft under there idk what to tell you.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Spy X Family #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Jujutsu Kaisen #Chainsaw Man #Ranking of Kings #Vinland Saga

[feelingunfulfilled]

Something particularly fascinating (and also equality frustrating) to me is how my depression interacts with my anxiety. During my heightened anxiety, I felt overwhelmed and stressed over my fears for the future and sudden changes. I also cared a LOT about how others perceived me due to an intensified fear of judgement and criticism. I restricted myself from having deep relationships as the idea of vulnerability was terrifying. So for a long time, there where aspects of myself which I hid away because I was worried what my friends or family would think. I could only discuss My Little Pony around the people who watched the show, and I could only make silly jokes around the friend who I grew up with, and I could only share specific drawings with certain people as well. I convinced myself they wouldn’t understand my diversified personality even if I managed to be vulnerable (hence why my loneliness worsened). I felt kinda ostracized from the group because I never shared interests outside of the shared ones, and rarely shared anything about my personal life. There where plenty moments where I felt my stomach sink as I watched them from afar. Another thing that was also typical of me; guilt trip myself out of fear I’m being “a terrible person” for not reaching out and contacting old friends. All of this became common place with anxiety

But then the opposite became true with depression. It’s like flipping a coin and suddenly everything is juxtaposed

Depression numbs a lot of that built-up anxiety inducing fear because you suddenly stop giving a shit about things. You stop caring about grades and paying attention in class because you’ve convinced yourself that “your lazy” and “stupid” no matter what. You give into feeling fatigued and unmotivated and the desire to be pessimistic increases. You get annoyed when people tell you to “fake it till you make it” because you’re tired of acting like things are fine and that your happy when you don’t feel anything. You feel empty, emotionless, directionless, and lost. But it starts becoming the normal. It’s that attitude of “I’m going to do what I want to do and not let anything else dictate me” which is so vastly opposed to the way my brain operated on anxiety. It’s kinda freeing honestly. You start to accept your friendships as what they are, surface level. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to keep building the bridges and digging deeper. Relationships go two ways, and what you put into it matters. If you want it to be meaningful you gotta share some meaningful information, and simply be true to yourself.

So obviously the upside to depression is you stop giving a shit about others words. It numbs the anxiety about fear of judgement, so you feel able to speak your mind more directly then before without holding back opinions and thoughts to appease others. However, this also backfires because the positive words others say to you don’t seem to matter. Your relationships loose some meaning because you don’t feel emotionally connected anymore. Sometimes it feels like your words hold no meaning, and encouragement to friends falls flat. Almost sounding disingenuous and fake because you don’t have that optimism for your own life. Like I can see my friends archiving success in the future, but I can’t fathom that for myself anymore. And your exhaustion and lack of motivation causes you to detach yourself from social interaction. There have been times where I ignore messages for days because I didn’t want people to know how I’ve been doing (obviously not doing great). During these moments, I’ve noticed my anxiety actually HELPS me. My anxiety tells me “hey, if you don’t reach out to your friends right now, you’ll be wasting your time. Your friendship will drift apart and die unless you put the effort into maintaining it”. It might be over exaggerating but it gets the job done and forces me to talk to them. To ask “what’s up” and “hope your doing okay”. Even if they don’t respond, at least I can rest easy knowing I did my part and tried to keep this connection alive.

So yeah, it’s kinda crazy how depression and anxiety go hand in hand sometimes. Kinda balances things out in a strange way

#vent #cw vent #tw vent #rambling #cw depression #cw anxiety

[wiw3]

Things Feeling Transient

Hey, my grandma died.

Quite a bit of a bombshell, but I’m certifiably out of grandparents to lose, so that’s something. I’ve been being a bit of a bad person lately, and it’s all my fault. I don’t like being human. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin most of the time. I haven’t prepared for the possibility of my parents dying, which means I’m the most fragile I’ve ever been. 

Mom and dad joke about it, with my dad scaring the shit out of me by saying he isn’t sure that he’ll hold on for much longer. He’s being worked to death and I’m so exhausted I can hardly think enough to write this out.

Is it okay to not be okay? I’m on the verge of ending it, and I need to toughen up, because things spiraled *fast*. Things feel out of control, and I feel everything slipping. I need to stop taking things personally before I do something that I regret, or worse, say something that someone else makes me regret.

I don’t know what’s childish, I don’t know what’s adult, everything’s subjective and it’s all sarcasm. My brain is melting, and I feel like I’m on the brink.

My grandma’s dead, and I feel like I’ve been a shitty grandson. I feel like I’ve been a shitty son. My mom takes me not taking her suggestions personally, and it’s unbearable trying to communicate that all I need is a little sympathy.

I feel like it’s growing more and more impossible for someone to have sympathy for another. I’m beginning to believe that it doesn’t exist anymore. You’re either useful, or you aren’t. There is no taking a breather. There is no relaxing. You’re useless, or you aren’t.

That pressure hurts. It fucking hurts, a lot. I’m being crushed from all sides, professional, personal, social, and I can’t take any of the weight off by doing anything.

I feel trapped, powerless, and at my most cynical. I don’t know what to do, other than to burn it all down. I need to feel something other than bad. I should never have fallen off of the wagon, but now I’m off and struggling through what was my old family life, now my new family life.

Snapping at my mom was likely a mistake, I should have more resolve than that. I can’t take it when she compares her day to mine and tells me all about how hers was worse. I’m being used as a shoulder to cry on when originally, I came to her to use her shoulder. It’s fine, I guess. I can’t get mad at her for not knowing that’s what I needed, but after 22+ years of being my mom, you’d think she’d be a pro on me.

It’s my fault for not being able to communicate, for snapping for silence, rather than communicating through the issue. 

I’m tired of taking every last burden onto myself. I’m tired of everyone expecting things of me.

I just want to die. 

#writing #had to get this out #need to cry #dad's probably going to die next #grandma died #dead grandma #grandma #blog post #sorry for the rant #like really sorry #this won't help anyone #or even be seen

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

#christmas #christmas movies #how the grinch stole christmas #a christmas carol #elf #klaus #rudolph the red nosed reindeer #home alone #it's a wonderful life #the santa clause #this was a labor of love please clap

[goddessofmischief]

proposal with Trevor?

A/N: This isn’t exactly the request, but I hope it works! Requests open for Trevor Spengler & Richie Tozier (and maybe Boris Pavilkovsky, if you ask nicely)

Proposal - Trevor Spengler x Reader (Ghostbusters: Afterlife)

Trevor hasn’t seen you in months - years, even.

You’d been old friends, back in high school. Old friends, then - for a brief, brief period in time - more. He had fallen in love with you.

He liked to think that you felt the same way.

Then, years and years later, when most kids would’ve gone to college - Trevor began to pursue his true passion, Ghostbusting.

The way it had ended, between you... well, he didn’t expect to see you again, that’s for sure.

...Which is why it was such a shock for his secretary to buzz his desk and tell him that he had a visitor.

You.

“Hey, Trev,” you said, softly, a lock of hair in your eyes.

“Hey, Y/N. You look... really great.”

You embraced Trevor, and he held you tightly - so tightly, you were almost unsure if either of you were capable of letting go.

“I saw what you did, the other day,” you told him. “Clearing those ghosts out of the old general store... that was really wonderful.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you watched that debacle-”

“C’mon, Trev, it wasn’t so bad-”

“Ghosts, everywhere. It was unbelievable. I really thought I might die, y’know-” He shuffles closer to you. “Really makes someone like me think about what’s really important in life.”

You knew he was joking, and he knew he was joking.

Still... it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“So, how’s everything back in the city-”

“I need to tell you something, Trevor.”

He swallowed.

“That’s never a good start to a conversation.”

You brushed the hair out of your face.

"David asked me to marry him. That’s why I came. I thought... you should know.”

“I…think that’s…that’s wonderful, Y/N.”

“I said I had to think about it."

“Well,” said Trevor, “Men love that answer.”

You laughed - actually laughed.

“And I wondered... I wondered what you thought I should do.”

Trevor doesn’t answer right away, of course, because the real answer, the true one, is so glaringly obvious.

Don’t marry him.

He doesn’t say that.

“Um... you could do a lot worse than David. He’s... a really good man.”

“So are you.”

“No, I’m not. I’m... many things, but a good man is not one of them.”

“But you could be,” you said, softly. “You could be, if you wanted to.”

“Well, that’s just it,” Trevor said, a sad kind of smile on his face. “I... I don’t want to. I mean... you know... I’ve always wanted to-”

He gestures around him.

“Do this. The Ghostbusting thing. I-I’ve always wanted to be great.”

“That’s all I ever wanted for you, you know? Greatness.”

Your eyes are brimming with tears, and he suddenly figures out what your visit is really about - you want him to tell you that things could work out, that you shouldn’t marry him, that you should give it another try.

Trevor isn’t willing to take the chance of breaking your heart again.

“Then you understand,” Trevor manages, and you nod.

“Yes.”

At that moment, his secretary bursts through the door, notepad in hand.

“Spengler! We’ve got a ghost alert downtown-”

“I’ll get on it right away,” he tells her, and she throws his jumpsuit to him.

Trevor looks at you.

“Are you okay?”

You nod again, tears gathering at your eyes. Trevor puts his arms around you, holding you - until, of course, he lets go, and it’s all too soon.

“Congratulations on the engagement,” He tells you, shrugging into his uniform. You smile, teary-eyed, and brush past him.

Trevor gets the feeling that it just might be the last time he ever sees your face.

“...See you in my dreams,” he whispers, and you don’t hear it.

...

#trevor spengler #ghostbusters afterlife #trevor spengler x reader #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard imagine #ghostbusters #finn wolfhard x reader #trevor spengler imagine #jules writes #boris pavlikovsky #boris pavilkovsky x reader #richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #trevor spengler x female reader #stole some dialogue from oz the great and powerful because that movie lives in my head rent-free #trevor #phoebe spengler