#social etiquette

[theambitiouswoman]

100 Words You Can Incorporate Into Your Speech To Sound More Elegant ✨

(Common word - Alternate variation)

Beautiful - Exquisite

Happy - Ecstatic

Smart - Intelligent

Big - Enormous

Small - Petite

Good - Excellent

Bad - Deplorable

Nice - Gracious

Tired - Fatigued

Old - Ancient

Rich - Affluent

Poor - Impoverished

Happy - Joyful

Sad - Melancholic

Hot - Sweltering

Cold - Frigid

Busy - Prolific

Loud - Vociferous

Easy - Effortless

Difficult - Arduous

Fast - Swift

Slow - Languid

Brave - Valiant

Funny - Witty

Rich - Opulent

Poor - Indigent

Old - Vintage

New - Novel

Strong - Robust

Weak - Feeble

Pretty - Alluring

Ugly - Unattractive

Clean - Immaculate

Dirty - Sullied

Happy - Jubilant

Sad - Despondent

Young - Youthful

Old - Antiquated

Big - Colossal

Small - Minuscule

Fast - Rapid

Slow - Sluggish

Brave - Fearless

Funny - Hilarious

Clean - Pristine

Dirty - Filthy

Strong - Stalwart

Weak - Debilitated

Happy - Content

Sad - Poignant

Confusing - Perplexing

Typical - Quintessential

Many - Myriad

Everywhere - Ubiquitous

Contradictory - Paradoxical

Showy - Ostentatious

Insightful - Perspicacious

Arrogant - Supercilious

Obscure - Esoteric

Flatterer - Sycophant

Favorable - Auspicious

Joking - Facetious

Indescribable - Ineffable

Wordy - Verbose

Respected - Venerable

Worsen - Exacerbate

Short lived - Ephemeral

Help - Facilitate

Sneaky - Insidious

Confuse - Obfuscate

Begin - Commence

End - Terminate

Start - Inaugurate

Get - Obtain

Give - Bestow

Make - Fabricate

Break - Shatter

Fix - Rectify

Use - Utilize

Look - Gaze

Find - Discover

Tell - Narrate

Ask - Inquire

Leave - Depart

Buy - Procure

Show - Exhibit

Think - Contemplate

Put - Position

Need - Require

Stop - Halt

Talk - Communicate

Like - Adore

Help - Assist

Call - Summon

See - Perceive

Tell - Enunciate

Go - Traverse

Tell - Express

Have - Possess

Feel - Experience

#elegant woman #elegance #elegant #education #educate yourself #networking #social etiquette #social skills #personal improvement #personal development

[gamma-radio]

I hate when people play phone audio out loud in public spaces. The screechy quality of phone speakers, the disregard for literally anyone's auditory comfort, my poor autistic ears — I rage mode.

I know I'm not alone, so I am going to share my flawless embarrassment-free technique to get them to stop.

1) Carry a pair of earbuds on you. Not required, but it helps give you the confidence to actually confront them

2) walk up to them and be as nice as possible, no matter how mad you are. However, do not explain yourself or apologize, just make a simple request: "Hi, would you mind using earbuds for that?" (You're not asking them to stop, just change their method)

3a) 90% of the time they will shamefully put their phone away, and because you were so nice, they aren't even mad at you!! Then you can thank them for being so thoughtful, and maybe compliment their shirt or something! Everybody loves compliments.

3b) Alternatively, they might say, "I don't have earbuds." Normally, this would put you in an awkward situation, but You aren't normal. You are Prepared.

OFFER THE EARBUDS: "That's okay," you say, "you can borrow mine!" dazzling smile, you are so nice and thoughtful, what a great guy you are

Don't worry about losing your earbuds (or if you don't actually have earbuds), because they won't accept your offer. THEN they will put their phone away of their own free will. You never even had to ask.

If you want a detailed explanation of why this works (for the autistic besties, I see u):

People don't like it when you tell them what to do, especially if that request is to stop doing their activity in any shape or form. It pisses them off, and rightfully so! No one wants to be controlled.

That's why this method is so good: you never asked them to stop their activity, you asked them to make a small change to how they are doing the activity, which is far less obtrusive.

This works for lots of things, and lots of people. Imagine being a kid, goofing around, and someone says, "Stop doing that." Upsetting! Compared to: "Would you mind being quieter?" Because really, the issue is not that you are goofing around, the issue is that you are being loud and disruptive about it.

Same goes for the stranger on their phone in public. It's totally fine that they're watching a video, the problem is that they're being disruptive, and chances are they know that being disruptive is rude.

The second half of why this works is offering the earbuds.

When you ask them to change how they're doing their activity, you are placing a burden on them. If they have a pair already, it is a very tiny burden. If they don't have a pair, it is suddenly an insurmountable burden, and that's very uncomfortable. In fact, it's so uncomfortable that by making the request, you might become the bad guy in the situation (according to them) even if you're being nice, and even if they're in the wrong.

That's why you offer the earbuds. Now you are actively helping them by alleviating the burden. You are being kind and thoughtful instead of demanding!

Sure, they might think you're a little weird, because it's not part of the social script, but they've got no ground to be mad at you.

Which brings up the last point: offering to lend your earbuds isn't part of the social script. It's surprising, and so their default reaction is to avoid that path: they will decline your offer. So, you don't have to worry about a stranger wearing your earbuds with their gross stranger ears.

So that's the whole idea behind the method. Confrontation that is respectful and thoughtful of their autonomy and your comfort all at the same time. ~social engineering for good~

#sensory overstimulation #autism #sensory overload #autistic #neurodivergent #social engineering #social etiquette #my post

[fear-the-electric-pea]

#tumblr polls #polls #poll #social etiquette #electric pea talks

[blackswaneuroparedux]

However grand our sacramental downsittings and updressings may be, they remain only and precisely sacraments: real presences, under particular signs, of the happier order that faith can discover under any and all signs. They're a bit like the church. As long as we see them as an earnest of the kingdom, they're all right; when we put on airs and act as if they were the kingdom itself, they look just silly.

- Robert Farrar Capon 

So I get asked about how to do a more formal dinner party by my followers. I don’t know what impression I’ve given to make people think that I am an expert but I shall endeavour to present some thoughts around my own beliefs and experiences. I’m sure there are some things I have left out or have temporarily escaped my mind, so do please bear with me.

It is sadly the case that the age of the formal dinner might be over for some but for others they bravely soldier on flying the flag for civilised discourse over dinner.

Yet the reality remains that for many, eating at home with friends or family, or even a volatile mix of the two, is still hugely popular and important. Even if one is throwing a casual dinner party with a laidback “I’m just doing a bit of food” nonchalance, it still needs to be navigated with careful sensitivity. 

My rough guide to a good dinner party:

Don’t become a victim of vaunting ambition. Assess your culinary skills and budget before tailoring your social dinner occasion to fit your capabilities. Under no circumstances attempt a maiden voyage. It might seem like a good idea to try a new recipe for your guests, but there are few things sadder than realising that the pork was supposed to have been butterflied by a butcher or rest for four hours...45 minutes before guests arrive.

Send invitations if you can. The more formal the dinner the better you should send an invitation. Make clear (on the invitation preferably) on the time of arrival so that guests are punctual. Except if you’re hosting a dinner party in France then expect French guests to arrive 15 minutes late. While in many countries this may be considered rude, in France this is a golden rule. It’s an unspoken agreement between the host and the guest because the host might be a little late preparing everything and the guest won’t want to embarrass the host by arriving early. Strangely this rule only applies to dinner parties and not for dinners at restaurants. Hmmm.

Make the nature of the dinner event absolutely clear to your guests. They will feel understandably annoyed if they turn up to a formal dinner in jeans and sneakers.

Make sure your drinks cabinet is well stocked. Don’t ever rely on your guests to bring anything. Make sure you choose a different wine to go with each course you are serving. But don’t get too hung up on the food and wine pairing - one can always ask the wine merchant who is both helpful and is dying to show off his knowledge.

Work out your timings. Don’t let drinks go on too long and ensure that food is ready when you call everyone to the table. 

Always have a seating plan. Even if it’s an informal one in your head, explain to your guests where you would like them to sit. Chemistry between guests is everything. Choose wisely.

Don’t apologise for the food being served. You made it. You own it. 

Remember that your primary role is to be the host/hostess. Attend to your guests at all times and don’t allow yourself to be drawn into an intimate tête à tête with someone. It’s rude to give one guest all the attention at the expense of others feeling a little adrift in their seat.

Play the diplomat at dinner. Lively conversation will no doubt wander to the realm of politics, and whether it’s divisive or just plain dull, a good hostess can re-route a boring or inelegant conversation deftly and effortlessly. The best way to steer the conversation if it strays too deeply into politics, religion, or someone’s burgeoning sex life is to politely interject and offer, “Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could get everyone’s opinion on X,” and people will be happy to oblige. You invite people into a topic that’s about you and it’s a clear note to the offenders to change course. Important to note also it is perhaps the only time you ever make yourself the subject of the conversation. The role of the hostess is to move the conversation along effortlessly without becoming the centre of attention.

Deploy subtle hints by asking if anyone would like: cups of coffee, offers of taxi service or spare beds, if the evening is going on too long.

Don’t let the guests do dishes - unless they're related to you or they're psychotically compulsive. If they are neither, you might be calling their bluff on an empty offer, and then you've made your guest use your ratty sponge, which is not a very gracious experience.

Most of all, breathe and relax. It will all go swimmingly. Just enjoy yourself.

Bon appétit!

#dinner party #manners #society #culture #food #friends #family #guests #host #menu #etiquette #social etiquette #dining #capon #quote

[bisexualseraphim]

Calling all autistic people: I want to ask you all a question.

So when I was growing up I was constantly drilled into with the typical Christian lessons of “treat people how you want to be treated” and “if you wouldn’t like it said/done, to you, don’t say/do it at all.”

This turned out to not be very helpful to me.

BECAUSE… I have always been an extremely relaxed person. There’s not much you could say or do to me that would offend me or make me uncomfortable.

So until I hit my twenties (yes that’s a very embarrassing age I know and trust me I’m deeply ashamed of it), because of these teachings my mindset would always be, “Well I wouldn’t mind if someone started talking about their theories on how Hitler managed to rise to power and have so much support when the Nazis’ beliefs are so objectively horrible to most of us today while we’re all trying to do our biology homework together, so following the logic I’ve been taught this means other people must feel the same way.”

They did not. (Of course, people generally wouldn’t TELL me this until months later when I eventually asked why everyone kept disappearing at playtime when we were meant to be in study group.)

Thankfully I went to therapy and received a lot of support on brushing up on social etiquette during the pandemic (which was such a fucking struggle because once again, everything I was taught my entire life turned out to be wrong actually and the rules kept changing), but I’m just wondering — did anyone else experience this phenomenon of assuming other people’s feelings are the same as your own, or something similar? Is this a common thing for autistic people to experience? If so, is there a name for it or any research on why it happens and methods to prevent it?

(I’m not excusing any of my poor behaviours by the way but surprise surprise, the ‘Misses Social Cues and Speaks Inappropriately Disorder’ sometimes causes people to miss social cues and speak inappropriately lol)

#long post #personal #autism #actually autistic #autistic #social etiquette #social rules #social skills #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #neurodivergence #disability #empathy #low empathy #tw nazi mention #tw hitler mention

[shadycomputerpolice]

The Problem with Individual Therapy

This video specifically highlights one of the main issues I have with individual therapy as a concept. The issue is that it relies solely on just one person's retelling of events and ignores the fact that very few people are actually going to tell the truth if the truth makes them look bad. Some people lie by omission/minimisation/exaggeration while others straight up come up with scenarios that didn't happen.

Unless you can observe your actual clients' behaviour, you don't know what the truth is and if they are in fact the person in the wrong. Lundy Bancroft highlighted this problem with therapy in "Why Does He Do That?" with abusive men but it applies to all types of clients. Is your client objectively the problematic one and all the tips you gave them is making them more of an asshole (Giving them "therapy speak" to justify their bad sometimes abusive behaviour)?

In conclusion, therapy ignores just how much people lie.

[Sidenote: the comment section is full of people who don't see anything wrong with the client's behaviour in the event and still believe people were just jealous of her. These are the people that will come to social media to make "Friendship these days" posts where they recount how even though they were friendly and helpful to their friends, they got discarded.

I think a lot of social etiquette rules are archaic bullishit and sometimes harmful, however, we do need to bring back sensible social etiquette rules because some people really do need a lesson in consideration and social tact.

#Instagram #therapy #social etiquette

[king-minyard]

as a reminder, when you leave your house, you're agreeing to a social contract to respect the people around you. this means:

you won't start a fight out of nowhere, and they won't start shit with you for no reason ("punch nazis" falls under this; nazis are actively promoting hate and so it is a provoked and deserved attack).

you won't expose your private life to strangers, and they won't do that to you (for example: streaking, telling others very personal details, or initiating intimate conversation without consent).

you won't be rude to them, and they won't be rude to you (for example: talking to someone in a queue is fine if you know them, but if you're blocking the way, getting loud, or holding up the line because of it, it's rude to everyone else).

there's a few other things, but the gist is: don't be an asshole to everyone else. I don't care if your friends think you're funny.

this also applies to using your phone in public.

if your phone is making loud noises and you aren't wearing headphones, you're being rude.

if you need to make a phone call, do it outside or away from others - that's your personal life, and we don't want to hear it.

if you are holding up a queue or blocking people's way because of it, you're being rude.

#social etiquette #social contracts #i was in line at my college the other day and some asshole decided he was bored of waiting #so he called three of his friends one after another WHILE IN LINE and was talking loudly enough for everyone to hear #i DO NOT CARE that jason scored a date. your phone call can wait. you're being rude and everyone hates you. #mine

[girly-wirly]

#ettiquette #social etiquette #manners #polished #classy #sophisticated #etiquette class #charm school #feminine #glow up #level up

[miss-wander-around]

Note the following:

• Assume all parties are neither friends or strangers, but the two are more familiar with each other than they are with the third

• There is some hierarchy variation, but not to a significant degree

• There is moderate age variation (Less than 15 year variance, but more than 8)

• There are two women and one man

#this happened to me literally months ago and I still wonder about it so I’m asking tumblr #a reliable source of nuerotypical advice #polls #social etiquette #my first poll be niceys

[theambitiouswoman]

How To Improve Your Social Skills 💬🥂📱✨

Pay close attention when others are speaking. Show that you're engaged in what they are saying, maintain eye contact, and providing verbal cues like "I see" or "interesting." Ask questions.

Good eye contact shows interest in the conversation. But avoid staring excessively in a frozen state, as it can make others uncomfortable.

A warm smile and open body language can make others feel more comfortable around you.

Work on your conversational skills, including starting and ending conversations, asking open ended questions, and finding common topics of interest.

Try to understand and empathize with the feelings and perspectives of others. This helps create trust.

Small talk is essential for building rapport. Practice starting conversations with light, non controversial topics and gradually steer them toward more meaningful subjects.

Confidence is key to effective social interaction. Work on building your self esteem and self confidence through self affirmations and positive self talk.

If you experience social anxiety, try deep breathing exercises or, visualization. Try to focus your attention on something. I used to have a lot of social anxiety so I would hold a drink in my hand to keep me centered and focused.

Familiarize yourself with cultural and social norms to ensure you're behaving appropriately in different situations so you don't look out of place or rude.

Social skills are like any other skills; they improve with practice. Start with friends or in less intimidating social settings to build your confidence.

Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These signals often convey more than words.

Avoid dominating conversations. Give others the chance to speak and actively listen when it's their turn.

Show respect for others by using polite language, saying "please" and "thank you," and being considerate of their feelings and opinions.

Having a broad range of interests and knowledge can give you more to talk about and connect with others over. Learn, learn, learn.

Ask friends for feedback on your social skills. They can help pin point areas you can improve upon.

Join clubs, groups, or activities that relate to your interests. This helps you meet new people and practice social skills in a comfortable setting.

Observe individuals with strong social skills and learn from their interactions. Note how they engage with others and start to incorporate some of their techniques.

#social etiquette #social skills #social anxiety #personal improvement #personal growth #personal development #self help #self improvement #self care #self confidence #level up journey #networking

[dearesmeray]

How to Always be Presentable

The first impression is the last impression.

Peace and blessings upon everyone!

I hope life's treating you well. I’m Esmeray and I welcome you to this post on my blog Dear Esmeray.

As much as we like to pretend that appearances don't matter, they do, in fact, matter. Especially first impressions, matter more than you realize. This is a simple guide on how to always be presentable.

Always stay groomed:

Keep hair combed

Smell good

Always keep your nails cut

Wear polished shoes that are not worn out or scruffy

Make sure white shoes are perfectly WHITE.

Never wear more than 4 accessories

Shower at least twice a week

Shampoo hair once a week

Dress to impress:

Wear ironed, wrinkle-free clothes

Wear Modest, respectful clothing

Make sure your clothes have no worn-out or scruffy fabrics, no dirt, holes, rips, discoloration, or threads sticking out

Dress according to the occasion

Layer properly

Overdressing is cool, Underdressing is not.

Maintaining a polished appearance goes beyond simply looking neat. By cultivating a sense of personal style and taking the time to present yourself well, you project an image of confidence, professionalism, and respect for yourself and others. Always remember, a positive first impression is key in both personal and professional settings.

With Love, Esmeray ♡

#dearesmeray #this is a girlblog #girlblogging #etiquette #pretty #manners #elegant #elegance #elegant woman #life #social etiquette

[celiaelise]

I swear I'm not trying to virtue signal, but people getting worked up about others' beliefs and practices that have nothing to do with you is so incomprehensible to me.

Like I will acknowledge that my mother's very strict ideas about etiquette have fucked me up in a number of ways, but one part that I think has served me well is the instinct to shut the fuck up and mind my business if I don't understand something. People have rules about what they can eat that don't make sense to me? Cool, better not say anything lest I make myself look stupid. Someone is wearing something that looks weird to me? Don't say anything because that's fucking rude.

My dad was actually talking the other day about how shame isn't the powerful social motivator it used to be, and in instances like this, I can kind of see what he means. However, I think there's still hope of it being re-weaponized as a force for good! But also I think social shaming is still very much a thing, it's just...changed shape? (He was referring to someone not apologizing or being openly embarrassed about being filmed having a public outburst.)

Obviously this doesn't apply to being around close friends, or in an environment where it's been established that people are open to discussing the particulars of their beliefs and practices. I think those types of spaces are crucial. But equally crucial is the recognition that not everywhere is that kind of space!!

#this post is partly referring to the one i just reblogged btw #by elise #manners #social etiquette

[willowfae82]

hubby's aunt passed away earlier this afternoon. when did it become ok to text someone to let them know their loved one is no longer living. because, yeah. my sil sent a text that simply said 'Aunt Mary has passed.' like, i get that my mil might be a little too emotional to be saying, over and over again, 'my sister died'. but, i would have expected sil to at least call and tell us.

am i old or has this etiquette really stopped being used.

#death and dying #social etiquette #am i old and out of touch or

[bisexualseraphim]

Can’t believe I’m at my big age and I’m still learning social rules that everyone else seems to automatically know and I’ve not been privy to. Apparently grabbing someone’s attention to talk to them when you see them in public is a normal thing people do??? What if the person is busy or has somewhere to go I’d be so worried about disturbing them. I mean I personally have never been disturbed by someone stopping me for a chat but the rules don’t apply to me as I am entirely unique 💜

#personal #autism #autistic #actually autistic #social skills #social anxiety #social rules #social etiquette #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #neurodivergence #introvert #introversion

[littlerosetrove]

Gotta say, one of my least favorite things to become more and more common over the past, idk few years, is people having conversations on their phones on speaker out in public. 

LITERALLY WHY.

(the same can be said about people just. listening to videos and music without headphones. ffs) 

#social etiquette #apparently people don't know her #I don't want nor need to hear whatever is #coming out of your phone jfc #ramblings

[letslearnanything]

Ever wondered how to travel the world without making those awkward cultural faux pas? 🌍✈️ Dive into our latest article on "How to Avoid Offending Locals with Cultural Faux Pas" and master the art of cultural sensitivity. From social etiquette to non-verbal cues, get the insider tips to ensure your global adventures are respectful and enriching. Let's bridge cultures and connect hearts! #CulturalSensitivity #TravelTips #LetsLearnAnything

#cultural sensitivity #social etiquette #non-verbal communication #interpersonal relationships