#something about his emotional arc being all about him relearning what it's like to WANT to live again....... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mp100days · 2 years

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077 - sorry, nothing ambitious tonight !! just more ageswap doodles :)

maybe… a little bit of as!character ideas under the cut?

-mogami and reigen are very close childhood friends; both lived in rather neglectful households so they spent a lot of their time outside of school hanging out.

-mogami's. er. he's a bit of a brat in the sense he doesn't like being told what to do and is extremely stubborn and does not hesitate at all to act on grudges but he means well enough, and has a desire to assist others. although he does have a tendency to push his emotions and baggage onto reigen.

-somewhere along the line mogami seeks help concerning his psychic powers, and ends up meeting mob, who runs a bit of a counselling-for-espers-turned-exorcism business, who started it because he wanted to give guidance to younger espers who needed assistance- something mob didn't get to have.

-an accident happens on an exorcism outing, where mogami loses control of his own abilities and nearly caves-in an abandoned parking lot right on top of both of them. the stress after the incident causes mogami to impulse-leave spirits and such and skip school for a few days.

-mogami eventually returns to school one day, under intense amounts of stress, but gets into an argument with reigen that spirals into a playground fistfight, and doesn't return again.

-a week later or so(?) mogami hasn't returned at all. reigen visits multiple times, to knock on his door or leave him a text, but there's no response at all. eventually, an investigation is held, where mogami turns up missing. (mogami's mother is still alive, but her condition has worsened and is subsequently moved to a hospital for recovery.)

-after being barred from getting involved in the official investigation, reigen starts his own search. it leads him to mob, an esper running a psychic consultation office. reigen, thinking mob is somehow definitely involved in this, pretends (very badly) to be an esper, and practically begs mob to make him his apprentice, looking to earn his trust and wheedle out what happened to mogami.

-ah... i haven't written out how all the arcs play out, but i think that, eventually, reigen starts forgetting about trying to use mob to get information out of him, and starts to genuinely enjoy spending time at spirits and such and going on exorcisms. mob finds reigen a little bit endearing, if not a bit of a brat at times. reigen encourages mob to start using his powers again, to see them as a part of him rather than a curse- something he's practically locked away within himself for years.

-in the six months since mogami's disappearance, reigen also befriends serizawa, starts a fight with the school's popular clique (Claw), confuses a spirit-possessed boy to be mogami, goes on a spirits and such field trip to look for aliens, and a lot of other things...

-ah... mogami and reigen's friendship wasn't very healthy, even as kids. both of them were very codependent on each other, and often felt stuck to each other in a silent and suffocating way. in mogami's absence, reigen sort of relearns how to unstick from people, and realize he needs to follow his own path, and plan out his own future.

-i'm not sure how the mogami arc will go. i may come up with it in the future... thank you for reading all the way through, though!!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #ageswap au #reigen arataka #mogami keiji #keiji mogami #mod 1 #sorry discord members who already saw this im. working on the reigen edit #for those of you who dont know how insane i am abt mob psycho ageswap au though. smirks

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sullina · 2 months

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WE ARE SHAKING HANDS. DISTRAUGHT OVER HANAZUKI....

IT WAS SO GOOD

IT WAS A SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "there's a big bad thing. Our heroes have to fight it, using the unconventional method of expressing ones emotions in a healthy way" AND THIS IS SO GOOD

IT'S NOT OVERLY CONVOLUTED

IT'S EASY TO UNDERSTAND

BUT YOU CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS CAN INFLUENCE ONES EMOTIONS???

and even just what we GOT from Hanazuki already speaks of the potential the show had!

there's Hanazuki, obv, who's a healthy moonflower. She can grow treasure trees with little difficulty, and she can grow just about every kind of treasure tree.

Kiazuki, presumably, used to be a lot like Hanazuki, but she was unable to grow even a single treasure tree, so the "big bad" got her moon and all her little guys, except for one, are gone. From what I remember of the show, i can extrapolate, that either the big bad got her too soon, destroying her moon before she was able to grow a treasure tree. And since all "little guys" represent the range of emotions and are, presumably, supposed to help moonflowers grow treasure trees, Kiazukis little guys were probably lost sometime between after she came into existence and before the big bad got her moon. This loss left her depressed and angry and cold, effectively cutting her off from her ability to grow any treasure trees at all. And then Kiazuki meets Hanazuki and she's the villain for a while, but once they become friends, Kiazuki relearns, or rather learns for the first time, how to feel emotions. You don't see this kind of character arc often. We don't know exactly what happened, except for the fact that her moon was destroyed, but it's pretty obvious that it was traumatic for her, but instead of being reduced to the perfect victim, Kiazuki was made cold and angry and a villain. And only when this is acknowledged (by Hanazuki in this case) does she start to heal from it. And just as important is how Hanazuki, instead of getting angry with her and pushing her away indefinitely, instead showed understanding and helped her, even when Kiazuki stole Hanazukis treasure trees. It would've been easy for Hanazuki and the show to just dismiss Kiazuki as a cold hearted villain with evil intentions, but they didn't. And I just love that so much.

Then, in a similar strain to Kiazuki, there's Kiyoshi. He experienced a different kind of trauma to her, where instead of outside forces taking everything away, his own friends betrayed him and pushed him away. it's been a while since i watched it, but didn't they also, like... have him wanted like a criminal? Pretty harsh stuff anyway. So Kiyoshi, alone and betrayed, he still felt one emotion, but that emotion was sheer hopelessness. It's the only emotion he could feel anymore, because what else was he supposed to do? He was on his own and his former friends turned against him, there was nothing he could do.

Maroshi was introduced fairly late, but it's pretty clear that his way is the path of least resistance. If something bad happens, his go to response is "oh well, nothing I can do" and he gives up. According to the wiki, he didn't have any treasures available to protect his moon with in the first place, which does leave me wondering why? Hanazuki recieved her first treasure pretty much right after she was born, and both Kiazuki and Kiyoshi got plenty of treasures, despite one not being able to grow any and the other only being able to grow black trees. Did little dreamer not give him any on purpose? Did he forget about him? Seems unlikely, but it's pretty obvious that Maroshi wasn't born right before the big bad struck his moon, since him, Kiyoshi and Kiazuki had formed the Garlandians.

Miyumi was introduced last, only appearing in one single episode. Her attitude seems to be denial, since she seems to ignore any problem she comes across until Hanazuki could finally make her open her eyes to the fact that her little guys were being kidnapped. I don't have much to write about Miyumi. I mean, she was in one single episode.

But the introduction of the new unknown villain who kidnapped her little guys was so interesting and could've been so big! ESPECIALLY, because Kiazukis little guys were ALSO kidnapped like that!

WHO WAS THIS VILLAIN???

WHY ARE THEY GATHERING LITTLE GUYS FROM THE MOONS???

ARE THEY STRAIGHT UP EVIL OR JUST TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES LIKE KIAZUKI TRIED TO???

AND WHAT

EVEN

THE BIG BAD??????

THIS SHOW WAS CANCELLED BEFORE ITS TIME AND I WILL FOREVER BE DISTRAUGHT ABOUT IT

ESPECIALLY, but not exclusively, BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH AN INNOVATIVE CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!

#SCREAMING CRYING HOWLING IN DISTRESS #IT WAS SO GOOD TOT TOT TOT #Hanazuki #hanazuki full of treasures #kiazuki #kiyoshi #maroshi #miyumi

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shiroikabocha · 6 months

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it seems like fandom consensus is that the end of S2 was bad—I guess I’m in the minority then because I liked it? I mean, it felt pretty rushed, they could have used two more episodes to draw out the storyline. But uh. The big thing people seem to hate, because it came out of left field or because it ruined the arc, um… am I crazy for enjoying it? It seemed a fitting cap to the narrative? Spoilers under cut.

I loved Izzy’s death! Not because I hated Izzy, far from it—I liked that he got to be the star of the most intense emotional moment in the finale! I understand the criticism that he spent all his dying breath on comforting the guy who abused him—but like. Maybe I’m reading it wrong. But I took everything Izzy said to Ed as something Izzy was also saying to himself: “I fed the darkness because I thought I needed it, but I don’t need it any more.” “You’re surrounded by family.” “You are loved.” This is all coming from the guy we saw drunkenly dragging himself across the floor repeating you’re born alone, you die alone—and it gets proven wrong, directly refuted! Izzy doesn’t die alone!

And like, yeah, it would have been wonderful if Izzy got to enjoy his emotional maturity for longer—but he did get to enjoy it for most of the season, which is a pretty damn long time in TV-land! We got to see him whittling sharks and dispensing wisdom, relearning sword fighting and developing a friendship (!!!) with Stede, singing at Calypso’s Birthday and dancing with Wee John—we saw him receive and give so much love this season, and that’s even before we get to that very on-the-nose speech about what piracy means (for the record, that’s about when I started thinking Aw beans he’s gonna die heroic in a few minutes, ain’t he). He got to spend multiple back-to-back episodes being a snarky badass enjoying the pirating life! To paraphrase Black Pete, fandom’s going on and on about how Izzy died, and not talking enough about the fact that while he lived, he motherfuckin lived!

He had SUCH AN ARC this season! Izzy went from “hell yeah Blackbeard is BACK” to “this doesn’t feel the same as it did before” to “is it because I’ve outgrown this?” to “do I even know how to do anything that ISN’T this?” to “we’re all going to die, it doesn’t matter what I do” to “we’re all going to die, so the ONLY thing that matters is what I do” to “I’ve outlived my usefulness and I don’t know what I am” to “can I be something different?” to “I can hold on to things from my past that help me and let go of things that don’t” to “it was never really about Blackbeard, was it? ‘Blackbeard’ was what we did together because life gave us shit options, and I got to thinking that if we stopped doing ‘Blackbeard’ then we couldn’t do anything else—but we can. We can do new things. We can make new family, we can reinvent old family, we can do whatever the fuck we want, and if what I want has changed then so shall I—and so should Ed, so should we all. That’s what piracy’s about.”

And I don’t think his death ruins any of that? If anything, it feels like—I dunno man, to me it feels like this whole season has been Izzy becoming the kind of man who could die exactly like this—secure in the knowledge that the fight wasn’t for nothing, that the love will go on, that he helped do something meaningful, more than just surviving another day—that he made it to an emotional place where he could ask Ed just to be with him. The thing he always wanted—Ed being with him—and for so long, couldn’t ask for outside of the context of violence and conquest and all the things the ‘Blackbeard’ performance demanded… it was good!! I liked it a lot!

The one thing Izzy probably never expected to get in life is a good death, a death without regrets, and he gets one!! It wasn’t too late for him to change his life!!! It’s never too late!!!!

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season finale #izzy hands #I understand and respect everybody who didn’t like it but I liked it a lot

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thesilverlock · 10 months

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Girl- your art and your OC Jey Cleary is SO GORGEOUS I CAN'T- I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

I know your OTP is Joey and Astral, so, I must ask, how would he behave or act around Dark Mist if he met him?? 👀👀👀

Would he hate Mist? Would he tolerate him??

And what is Joey's relationship with Eliphas and his previous obsession in reaching purity by removing all the chaos??

(( AAAAAAAA! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! ;A;;;

THESE are also Super fantastic questions, thank you for the opportunity for me to gush about my boy and his antics with other characters 💙🩵✨ i’m so sorry this got SO long agshdj! There are doodles/art for your reading troubles down there too!))

- - ⟢〖 MIST 〗

So Jey’s whole deal is; Despite hailing from Astral World and being obligated to participate in their favor during the war ﹣ he’s actually the Son of Balance. His father, Protos, (the Heart of Astral World, as some called) was the guardian/overseer of the harmony between Chaos and Order. Before shit hit the fan in every conceivable way lmfao On top of that, Jey’s just.. a rogue and a rapscallion ahsgdhjs He never was keen on how black-&-white the war seemed, but relearning about the complete villainization of one half of a necessary energy was the final coffin nail. And that disagreeance is literally in his soul makeup! He was created in equal Chaotic Energy and Pure Energy. That balance is intermittently tied throughout him; He is meant to be the harbinger of Balance. Even Jey himself isn’t fully aware of how ingrained it is due to his own amnesia, but he does know obliterating all Chaos is not the answer, there’s something in his bones defying it. It’s a rather big plot point in his story that he starts to feel divided from the main crew because of this. Not Yuma﹣ Yuma is the only one backing Jey up at all ﹣but Astral. And it’s Astral’s rejection (spawned from the envoy's own rigid ideals and mission) that hurts Jey enough to push him out of the group for a brief period. ✨breakup arc woes✨

. . . And this is how and when Mist finds him. They make an alarming well fit duo. Their personalities mesh, and they do surprisingly? Okay? To avoid overt toxicity in their alliance? Mist doesn’t get preached at to change, or to “join a side of the war”, or be force locked in his card, so he tolerates having Jey around. And obviously Jey can’t be affected by Mist’s number influence, and he's naturally domineering enough to counteract when Mist gets too... himself lmao. Jey has a Robin Hood type of suave and charm whereas Mist acts increasingly seductive and invades people’s space because he wants to intimidate. Jey knows how to beat Mist at his own game, which both intrigues and aggravates the Number. Like two people who know one another via a friend-of-a-friend, and go on this epic journey and end up unconventionally thick as thieves like halfway through the movie. ASDFGH

Mist likes Jey’s assertiveness and darker side - the viability to resort to vicious methods and being such a rebel personality despite supposed loyalty to the world of “pure” ideals. Jey is pulled in by Mist’s unapologetic “take me or leave me” nature and his recognition of the hypocrisy regarding the war from both ends. And ofc the Number's unique brand of effortless beauty and free-bird, unaffiliated presence. Those two tend to, pretty universally, have a quick chemistry and natural connection. [ It’s also thanks to that natural connection that a certain lightbulb gets his first experiences dealing with an ‘unknown’ and green-eyed emotion. 😉 ] Also also, fun fact - if it could not already be told by these answers lol - These two are my second highest OTP, right after Goldenship (Jey x Astral /JeiAsu) ! I call them Pierceshipping. Since they have a lot of piercing qualities (particularly their affinity for bedroom-eyed stares and smirks) And because they each canonically stab someone through the chest.

I’m so sorry I ran out of space for the Eliphas portion of the question, I’ll have to return to that! ♡ ;v;

But TLDR; For a lot of the same reasons already listed here, Jey and him do not get along. Can’t always do much ‘bout it tho cause that’s their technical boss, gotta play civil or else Jey and boifren don’t get as many missions together :(

#(( THANK YOU So much for the ask!! This was so amazing and fun to answer <3 I treasure when I get stuff like this ;v; ))#| my oc ❦ |#| my art ♡ |#| saved ✧ |#| pierceshipping ✶٭༌ |#(( I’m not actually sure why this is;#but for some reason Golden just always ends up being the pair I *DRAW* more #whereas Pierce is the one I *WRITE* for more?#And I rarely RARely ever write stuff to post.. gshdjf #so it ends up with Pierce being like my ~secret~ ship ppl don’t know about lolol ))#(( Rest assured though it’s up there and sittin' easy with that close 2nd place title GSdhjk ))#(( Honestly it probs just comes down to me having a hard time honing Astral’s voice. I struggle with 'orderly/proper' characters ))#(( the day that I get a lock on writing him tho - watch out~ sfgdHfj #my ao3 gonna turn into a minefield of ✨⚜️🌟🏆🏅👑 lmaoshjd))

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himboskywalker · 2 years

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re: parallels, i keep thinking about that, esp with the way both of them must be feeling shame and guilt over past actions and how and why obi-wan is capable of acting despite them where anakin is not; dark side this that but i feel like what truly holds anakin back is the pain of having been betrayed and his inability to forgive? bc i really feel like obi-wan could and WOULD forgive anakin, just hug him close and forgive… anakin can’t do that (yet?) bc all those years later, he still wants to hurt obi-wan and make them equal once again. it’s just such a complex cluster of emotion and it hinders anakin from breaking through Vader bc Vader feeds off those emotions, doesn’t he? the anger and the pain are what connects them, right? idk where im going with this tbh, i just keep… thinking… it’s like to obi-wan, the love is still right there, close enough to reach, it’s so easy to he has to stop himself from it, but anakin doesn’t have the limbs to do so anymore and all he’s left with is a hatred that’s so overwhelming it can stem from nothing but love…? IDK IM JUST FUCKED UP HONESTLY LIKE WHY ARE YOU PARALLEL LINES WHY ARE YOU TWO HALVES OF ONE WHOLE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT!!! dammit

No I’m 100% with and completely agree. I think once again that it all boils down to attachment. Attachment to the past is something Obi-Wan has struggled with in this series but rightfully so,he’s experienced trauma and loss and despair like no one else,and I don’t think Yoda or Windu would expect him to just shake it off with the deep deep trauma he’s carried. But the point is he tries,and he is starting to work through it,especially now that he has a goal in mind and hope. Anakin/Vader’s problem is that he is so firmly rooted in attachment,to people,to the past,to his own pain.

They both start the series,in the scope of this contained narrative of the show,as attached to the past and bogged down in their pain and misery. And to a certain point they mirror the other so perfectly,two halves of the same whole. Obi-Wan too,turns his face away from small deeds of goodness and standing up for what is right in those first 10 years. It’s by necessity,to keep not just himself safe but the children. But those are still small,every day decisions,choices he makes to turn his back from what being a Jedi is.

And of course Anakin turns his face away from the light every day,he chooses the dark again and again. But they are both faced with a pivotal choice,and that is where their character mirroring stops and their foils begin. Anakin is faced with the light and an option to let go,to release his chokehold on the past and his pain and to give up his attachment. Where Obi-Wan would forgive Anakin can not. He of course chooses to engage with vitriol and pain and revenge,and he drags Obi-Wan through the flames to know his pain and to make them alike. Obi-Wan is faced with a choice here,keep holding onto his attachment,to the past,to his pain,or part with it and move forward.

The breaking of their mirror happens in the bacta tank. They are twin beings of flame and hurt,entrenched in the other’s mind and experiencing the other’s pain,physical and mental. This is a cleansing moment,as many other creators have mentioned,a baptism. But here Vader chooses to engage with that pain,to hold onto the agony and fear and anger of the past. But Obi-Wan emerges from the bacta,cleansed and renewed and with single minded purpose,not to stew and dwell of what could have beens and his own guilt,but to embrace the light,to save a little girl who’s father destroyed his entire world.

And once Obi-Wan makes that choice he makes massive strides just in this arc. We watch him relearn to use the force,to saber fight,to stand up for those who cannot. He dons his robes and ignites his saber and wields the force and we hear him called general and he has let go so that he can become Obi-Wan Kenobi again,not this old man in the desert,beaten and bent and haggard with broken grief and sorrow. It is Vader now who stews in that attachment,and I think when they meet again and he sees Obi-Wan has so quickly moved on where he has not,it will enrage him as nothing else. Obi-Wan before,weighed down by his obvious attachments,filled Vader with glee,yes we are like,yes you suffer too,yes you have not moved on rather you are drowning. Yes old man burn with me,suffer with me. But what happens when Obi-Wan,as he always has,is able to let go and Anakin again cannot?

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #meta #Star Wars meta #kenobi spoilers #kenobi series spoilers #obi wan kenobi spoilers #kenobi series #anons

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watcher-ofthe-sky · 1 year

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7 and 20 for the fic rec meme? For Fairy Tail and Haikyuu fandom possibly? 😊

Hey! Thank you for the ask!

7. 💯 A fic that makes you think #writergoals

[under the cut because I had to quote my favourite bits]

I've mostly read haikyuu and other fandoms in the last two years so it's been a long time since I've properly dived into fairy tail fanfics, therefore, I'm sure I'll be forgetting some great ones. 😭 But that aside,

Fairy Tail:

from the dark, into the light by valdera (@aranarumei)

The thought of how much he loves the person in front of him curves and fits along Sting’s heart like it was always meant to be there. He supposes that it, in some form, has always been there. Rogue is the forgiving, soft dark that he falls into without reservation. Rogue is the laugh that warms his heart on a winter day. Rogue is the reason he’s leading Sabertooth. Rogue is what it means to be part of the Twin Dragons, what it means to give your heart to someone else’s hands.

The sheer beauty of it!! I've gushed about this before and I'll do it again because the writing is gorgeous and the prose really made me fall for stingue even more.

a season of becoming by splendidlyimperfect (@splendidlyimperfect)

You know it’s just a trick of the light, but you swear you can see Natsu’s face change in the dim flame of the candle. It flickers across his cheeks and reflects the dark of his eyes, and he looks like the person he wants to be.

You wish you could be happy for him, but you can’t feel anything but a raw, stinging sense of not being quite right. When Natsu reaches out for your hand and slips his fingers between yours, you shift closer to him, and he wordlessly wraps his arm around you. You both sit for a long time in the dark, staring at the flame and the dirt and the buried pieces. It hurts because you want to let go, too. You want to leave this ache behind, burn it, suffocate it with wet earth so you can smile again.

You want to change so badly, but you don’t know how, because you don’t know what you want to become.

I am always a sucker for second person POV because I think it has great potential when done right. The style of this fic is so beautiful and vivid that reading it always leaves me in awe.

Haikyuu:

*rattles my cage* Oh my god, so many!! I could go on and on but I'll hold back my rambling and state a few of them (because narrowing it down to one is impossible)

Chasing Paper Suns by carafin

At the age of twenty-one, Oikawa burns with the dogged determination of a dying star puttering through its terminal trajectory, and Iwaizumi learns, a little too late, that the corollary of incandescence is self-immolation.

home by gumsparkle

They hold hands on the walk home, quiet. Atsumu looks at him and sees bright-boy, boy-who-cries-sometimes, boy-who-does-what-needs-to-be-done, but most of all, he sees a boy he wants to love wholly.

Everything, I’ll give you everything. The boy I know, the boy I have yet to learn, and the boy you will become. I’ll give you everything gold. Rusted-over or gleaming, I’ll give you everything.

dog days by devote

He thinks about the ball, arcing through the raw light of daybreak; the hands, reaching up to cradle it; the boy, sculpting himself into something untouchable.

chasing gold by skiecas

Emotion wells up in Hajime’s chest, fills him up to the brim. Stabs his eyes. God, god. He wishes Oikawa were here right now. Look at this, he wants to tell him. Look how many people have fallen for you.

Oikawa’s no stranger to fans and fangirls, but this—this is different. This is fans on a mightier, global scale. This is karmic reward, for all those years he tried and tried and tried, and always fell one step short of greatness. This is getting on a plane at the age of nineteen, flying continents away from home, relearning everything he thought he knew about his own talent, his own worth, and coming back to carve a place for himself into the margins of something great.

20. 💖 A drabble that made you want 100K more words

BUBBLEGUM KK by ultearmilkovich (@ultearmilkobitch)

This is so cute that every time I reread this I love the brotp of Laxus and Lisanna more. I would easily read 100k of this and Asa'a writing. <3

Fic Recs (Ask Meme)

#thank you for the ask it was really fun to revisit the fics #I do apologize for how long the ask got though #lol #jemmahazelnut #fic recs #asks #answered asks

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bongkillua · 7 months

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6 tucker and konami 8 konami aaaand 13 konami (today is the day of konamis)

thank god bc i need to work on konami lore more hehehe

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

TUCKER: tucker cared more about labels in the past but has kind of given up on them by the time the wolfsbane narrative is over. he had to be really assertive of his identity when he was younger because he had to defend it a Lot and ur much more believable if you have a Solid Set Of Words u use to define urself. even now though he definitely asserts his masculinity a lot more than jord or xander do and is more picky about the terms you use to refer to him but it’s also like. he thought he was a gay man and then he caught feelings for xander who says a different gender every time you ask so he also recognizes that even the labels he does use are kinda up to interpretation lol. i feel like he still chooses to introduce himself as a gay man when asked even though that’s straight up not how he identifies he just doesn’t feel like explaining everything bc he’s had to defend himself for so long. and if you assume something else before he can explain the stranger-friendly version of himself he’s just going to shrug and go along with it. in terms of like general feelings on labels again he understands the importance of them but is also Definitely going to forget any intricacies you try to explain to him especially if ur a stranger. like he just cannot be bothered to care. like definitely a “just give me your pronouns because i’ll fucking forget everything else sorry.” kind of guy. if someone else tries to start shit though he Will defend the fuck out of someone using Whatever Damn Labels They Please even if he barely knows you.

KONAMI: ok i had to like literally think about konamis entire personality arc for this. so like right after death when he finally starts connecting with people again (tucker and xander), konami thinks labels are really cool even though he doesn’t know what any of them mean. i feel like he likes the idea of being able to explain himself with a Word because they have to relearn themself from the ground up. i think in terms of sexuality he probably re-finds and identifies with “bisexual” pretty quickly bc as much as konami struggles with emotions and how to deal with them he is Very in tune with his preferences especially in regard to people. gender is a whole other can of worms though. pre-death hes very sure of his gender but after dying he forgot his own identity and loses touch with all the stuff he connected with before. he probably spends a lot of time picking people apart about their labels to see if he can Relate To That Too! id imagine it leads to a lot of “i think that’s cool i want to be that too”/“i don’t care about that i would never identity that way.” and very little of it is truly Genuine. over time though as he learns more people’s experiences and understands his own more he starts to genuinely hold some labels close. think a lot of them are related to Concepts like “computer” and “electricity” bc once he realizes that his gender can be Things as opposed to these weird ideas of femininity and masculinity that he just cannot relate to he starts to understand the whole Gender Thing more. BOY though. Boy is his favorite word. that’s their One Gender Word that they relate to so much they don’t want anyone else to have it. He is the Only Boy.

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

KONAMI: post-death, yeah, but not so much to do with queerness as just identity in general. sorry these answers are gonna be rly similar because it’s hard to explain one without the other. anyways their pre-death life doesn’t feel like theirs to the point where they can’t identify themself in old pictures and obviously that does a lot of weird things to your identity. but for the sake of sticking with queerness he wakes up as a ball of energy in the shape of a body which has been altered (konami got top surgery and was on t pre death and those changes stick upon death) but somehow it still feels… right? and on top of all of that he literally like Can’t grasp the concept of gender because he forgets everything and doesn’t have any frame of reference for like. what gender is. his only frame of reference is Himself which is already gender weird both in presentation and feeling. it’s a really unique experience to have because, like, his struggle doesn’t come from any sort of cishetnormativity being imposed onto him but rather the feeling of Loss from once having an identity and seeing the marks it left behind and no longer being able to understand what got him there. i think it makes him upset because he really Wants to know himself ESPECIALLY when he’s “reintroduced” to who he was before death but he just can’t make the connections. i don’t think he shows it at All though and just sorta avoids the question when it comes up or makes a joke out it/insincerely agrees or disagrees based on how he thinks he Should identify. being surrounded by trans people definitely makes his journey to finding his own identity more Genuine but also makes it a lot longer of a ride. sexuality is a whole different story though LOL as i said before he’s very sure of what he Likes and once someone is like “yeah the word for that is usually bisexual” he’s like cool so i’m DEEEFINITELY bisexual. no struggle there.

13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

KONAMI: i answered this previously but no i think konami is a very monogamous guy. first of all he’s extremely territorial and doesn’t like sharing because he’s been denied connection for so long. this like. is Not the best thing for a relationship but by the time he’s actually to the point where he can connect to people in that way again he’s gotten over it a lot but probably still wouldn’t want to Share a Partner. he’s just very Devoted. even pre-death he was very similar he was a super devoted and loving partner. and a lot of the way that he connects with people is like. one on one experiences and communication and referential stuff so polyamory just wouldn’t make sense to him.

these answers are so damn rambly i’m sorry lol. i like talking about konami though he’s definitely the least fleshed out of the main four at this point. need to fix that.

#konami #tucker #wolfsbane #anoff #blurry answers #mine

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astral-from-afar · 10 months

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After watching that movie and thinking about it for the past day, I feel like I understand why I didn’t like the Donbrothers segment (since it was a crossover)

It’s because it didn’t feel like a donbrothers segment

Like although I joke about the show being a fever dream. It had heart. The characters began as assholes and self absorbed. If it weren’t for the superhero duties none of these people would have interacted as they come from all walks of life.

But as the series progressed, they had to deal with each other’s flaws and weaknesses and confront their own issues to work together as a team. They learnt to care for each other and make genuine bonds with each other. No matter how crazy the hijinks were, they became a found family and I loved that. Even the antagonists learnt how to live like humans thanks to the main team and culminated in them working together as a single unit.

In the finale, Tarou asks the rest of the team if they regretted joining the Donbrothers. And that was when we got to see how they’ve all matured. It was really nice to see and I think the finale was a satisfying conclusion to Donbrothers.

Yeah now time for the ranting

Okay so you know how I explained how all the characters matured over the span of the series and became better people as a result of being in the donbrothers team. Yeah we throw that all in the bin in a time skip one year later. Now all of them have gotten inflated egos and think their too good to be part of the group anymore. They literally threw out all of their character development just for a 20 minute segment where they had to ‘relearn’ how to be a hero.

The most egregious part was how they did Jirou so dirty. He had gone from a naive but endearing wannabe superhero into a more heroic and calm character by the end of the series. But nooo. Now he’s stuck up and a whining baby shouting orders and blackmailing the rest of the team. He also fought with Sonoi and while in the main series they did hint towards another spar to see who is the stronger, Sonoi stated that Jirou WAS NOT like the person he first fought at the beginning of the show. Even at the end of the crossover movie, he still doesn’t learn anything and is instead rewarded by showing a woman who looked like a past love interest WHICH DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AT ALL!! Look if they wanted to show Jirou’s flaws as a leader that’s fine but they could have done it in different ways not ruin his character entirely in the process.

Another small bit that I don’t think most people cared about was that they did Natsumi dirty as well. She said two lines in the movie but it was so different to how she was portrayed in the series. A multi-faceted character with an overarching story with two of the main characters in the most soap opera I’ve seen got boiled down to “I don’t want you to talk to him, he’s my ex plus it’s awkward ” which was not how she felt at the end of the arc. They just wanted to make cheap drama and didn’t look at her character as a whole.

Then there are the character deaths. Look I know people die and come back to life willy nilly but COME ON. Sonoi dying in the last five minutes with no big impact save for Sonoza finding him dead at the oden cart. No scene where the characters would find him. Smh. I’m pretty sure it will be resolved in another movie or V-cinema but that was such a dumb decision to make. Also Tarou dying didn’t feel as emotional it just felt like something to move the plot along and while I did like the funeral scene I think it should have been handled a lot better.

I feel like the Donbrother segment didn’t have a clear idea on what it was going to be about so it just went “hey let’s revert the characters back to square 1 and make them relearn the lesson” but that just cheapens the story of Donbrothers. It didn’t have heart, it was more hollow.

There were parts of the movie I did enjoy.The humour was great and the interactions between the two sentai teams were nice and fun. They should have focused on that more in my opinion and integrating the two plotlines together rather than having it be two separate bits and an interaction in the last 15 minutes. They had a perfect opportunity as both series have a Kaito so explaining that would be an easy way of creating a movie but eh it is what it is.

Yeah I’m done ranting about the movie. Overall it was a 6/10 nothing too special. My opinion is my own and I understand that it will be different to others (seriously I went on Twitter for the first time just to see other people’s opinions and people were praising it). I will watch it again in the future to see if my perspective changes but until then it was an eh movie without cool set ups but was a disservice to the original donbrothers journey.

#astra writes #yeah this is VERY VERY LONG #this was my own PERSONAL opinion #please do not come for me #i had a lot on my mind #if someone ever asks me about Toku #know that it will be a 2 hour cutscene #unskippable

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dolugecat · 2 years

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How do you think the progression of Mob letting himself feel emotions freely again would work? I'm writing something that takes place after chapter 100, and I'm tempted to just have him feel like a tempest of emotions, because he removed the wall repressing his emotions. But I don't know if that's the right move. Anyway. I trust your judgement the most regarding Mob characterization, and wanted to ask your opinion on that. It's really important to me that every character is as faithfully characterized as I can.

>>Obviously manga spoilers, beware<<

Sorry for the late response!!! I’m honored that you think my opinion has any value lol, it’s ofc up to you to decide how to interpret mob! Don’t let others get in the way of your creativity! Everyone has different interpretations and is affected by media in different ways. That said, I’d be glad to share my headcanon for post-canon mob!

Personally, I think that Mob has demonstrated immense improvement on handling his emotions. By the end of broccoli arc, he is showed to have full control of his “explosion” via 100% trust and before that with 100% courage. We know from the epilogue that by the time a year has past from the last ???% moment Mob is well adjusted and can *express* his joy freely without restraint. My HC is that his difficulty after the confession arc would be with his emotional expression, not the emotions he feels. Think about it, mob spent the most of the series wearing a :| or a :o face. Blank. He worked out his body but not his facial muscles /j . He’s gonna have to relearn how to emote appropriately given social context. So this leads us to possible outcomes like:

Mob over-expressing facial expressions, like grinning too big it’s creepy

Mob being unable to hide facial expression, giving away his true feelings even if he’s trying to hide it

Mob misusing expressions or body language

Everyone Mob knows being disturbed (or amazed) at his sudden change from no expression to having expressions

Mob getting advice on how to emote properly from various friends

Those just some ideas and there a lot of possibilities. Also, with him being freed from his emotional shackles he can finally *talk* about his trauma. I wanna see fanfics about Mob and Ritsu talking about that childhood incident with his powers. About Reigen and Mob discussing what happened in Mogamiland or about all that he’s lied about. All you hurt comfort sl*ts would eat that up. Anyways, thanks for the ask anon, hope this helped give you ideas! Send me the fic when you are done!!!!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #my post #anon ask #anon #mp100 meta #kageyama shigeo #kageyama ritsu #reigen arataka

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thanks-mike-stamford · 3 years

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Fics that inspire my writing - Part I

This is Part I. The other parts will be linked here as they are posted: Part II | Part III

When people ask "What's your favourite fic?" I can't truly give an answer. It depends on my mood! How can I choose only one? Sometimes you want to reread that one fic for emotional comfort, sometimes you want that other one for the hots, sometimes you want to suffer a bit with the characters and have the relief of the happy ending, and sometimes you love a fic so so so much, but it hurts and you don't pick it up again ever. There's no way I can choose a favourite.

So this is just a disclaimer that this list is not really about favourites.

This list is about writing.

I'm not as prolific as a writer than I am as a reader. I try to do my best, of course. The best way to learn a lot about writing, though? I have to say it's reading. I can attribute most of my vocabulary (in all languages I know) to reading. When talking about writing fiction, it's more than vocabulary, though: narrative, prose, dialogues, plot, characters, themes... It's a lot happening.

These fics I'm going to mention are the ones that I read and think yo myself: oooh, I wish I could write like that. So I use them to study! Perhaps I could try this type of narrative? Or I could build my characters to be complex in this way? Perhaps I could phrase things in a less mechanical way, like this author does?

I'm drafting a lot of stuff recently and in these new works I'm trying to improve the way I write. I'm a quick reader but slow writer, but I hope my future works can show I learned from these stories below.

So, here we go, 10 Fics That Inspire My Writing, in no particular order. This list is not exhaustive either, it was horrible to choose just 10.

Part I

Limping forward series by bendingsignpost

I absolutely love this series, which is a main fic from John's POV and a short prequel from Sherlock's POV, supposed be read after the main story. I'll refer to the main story from now on.

This fic is dialogue-heavy. The moments of description are usually very close to the POV, and while it's used to indicate actions, the main purpose is always to show what John is feeling by how he interacts with whatever and whoever is around him. Sometimes we are left with dialogues that are not explicit. The characters know exactly what they mean, by the described reactions, but the reader is left to wonder - or most importantly, to actually think about what they mean given the context. The fic feels almost like an intelectual exercise in which we practice how to read people's feelings. The climax of the fic doesn't come from a misunderstanding that can be fixed with a conversation, for example. It comes from an emotional misunderstanding, and it's brutal, because there's no way it couldn't happen. Both John, Sherlock, and the reader need to understand the meanings behind the actions - if you have a bias or trauma, it can be hard. Sherlock's deduction at the climax scene comes from an emotional perspective - he deduces how John felt, and that would finally explain John's actions, which weren't clear for him. Just like Sherlock says in the story - it's magnificent.

These two aspects - dialogue with implicit meaning and description with a purpose - are aspects I lack in my own writing. I struggle immensely with dialogue, and my descriptions are usually "Character A is here or there, talking to B or C, and they're thinking X or Y". I look up to how this fic works in trying to get better, and I did try to incorporate those "invisible conversations" into my works.

The Illusion of Control series by starrysummernights

Uuuh, omegaverse! Not everyone's cup of tea. I love omegaverse though, for two reasons: you can create completely different world dynamics and sex/gender dynamics, and play with it.

This series needed to be a series. Every part is important. We have alternating POVs of John and Sherlock. If you read the series as a WIP, as it was posted, you could have been under the impression that it was strictly porny. But it helps a ton to read it following the chronology of the story (the prequels and sequels to the original one were attributed accordingly). Because the trick of this series is John's character arc. We are immediately presented with John's life story since childhood until he starts a relationship with Sherlock. He has endured great emotional trauma, but at first he doesn't even recognise he has been traumatised. Lifelong issues build up and eventually will spill over. It's not quick to deal with it, that's why it needs a full series. His relationship with Sherlock deepens, he needs to make some important choices, he faces great struggles. And step by step, we follow John's journey. It's absolutely brilliant to get there. It hurts, but it hurts good. And it's nobody's fault, at the end. He's not reduced to his issues, he's an entire complex person, but we are always aware how said issues played an important role in shaping this character.

Writing such a long story, posting it out of chronological order, and not losing sight of the character arc is what makes this fic stand out. One of my published fics specifically took great inspiration in this one while building a character arc for John.

Trying to Find The In-Between by NoStraightLine

Later on this was re-posted as a multi chapter fic, but I originally read it as a series when it was a WIP, and personally I think it works better this way.

This amazing work taught me a lot about causes and consequences. I think the entire series can be grouped in three parts. First part is the beginning of their relationship. They are learning about each other, playing piece by piece like a puzzle. Then second part is around Reichenbach Fall, they separate and emotional fuckery ensues, up until Sherlock comes back, the pinnacle of angst. Third and last part is them relearning each other from scratch. The relationship needs to be completely different - and they don't even know if they will get together after all, if it will ever work again. And here's the main point: it's not a single decision that warrants consequences. They had a super intense relationship at first - but if you go too high, the fall is worse. Everything is borderline unhealthy, but it could easily be attributed to love. The author doesn't shy away from showing us it's a bit of both: big love can be a bit unhealthy. To put up boundaries between them so they both keep sane you also need to limit how you treat each other, and what you expect from each other.

This fic made me think I need to estimate the consequences of how I build up characters' interactions. The reactions need to be accordingly to that measure. In one fic I tried to play with this intensity ended up being borderline unhealthy. Not something you'd want in real life, of course, but in fiction... anything is possible.

This is the end of Part I. Stay tuned for Parts II and III!

#johnlock #sherlock fanfic #writing #hoverseas talks about fic

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saturdaynightfives · 3 years

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let the light back in

Character: Post-Skako Minor!Echo

Pairings: none, and if you’re a cl*nesect shipper move tf along

Rating: Teen for heavy emotional elements, mention alluding to sexual encounters

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of canon character deaths, losing a sibling/friend, dealing with grief, allusions to echo’s torture/imprisonment/forced body modifications

Brief summary: Echo is wondering where Fives is after he is rescued on Skako Minor.

Word count: 932

Hope is dangerous in war. So is grief. That’s an unspoken rule: don’t grieve.

As clones, it’s especially dangerous. Clones may fight for the Republic, but that’s all they are. An asset.

Echo found himself relearning this all over again. During his torture, he would dream of the 501st storming in, Rex and Fives leading the charge, Jedi general and padawan allowing for this rescue. Dreams led to hope.

And hope can destroy you faster than a blaster.

So Echo threw out hope and focused on survival.

They don’t know you’re alive.

Let them know.

That’s not hope, it’s what any soldier would do.

When blue and white came blasting in, he felt his heart soar. Rex - his captain came for him. He was accompanied by General Skywalker and this new squad in contrasting armor compared to the squad he was used to. The empty space where Fives should be wasn’t unnoticed.

It was a fight all the way to the ship.

Only once they were in hyperspace did Echo mention his twin.

“My brother?”

He didn’t even have to say the feisty ARC trooper’s name to see Rex slightly flinch then stiffen across from him. A trooper not familiar with the blonde captain would have never noticed. But Echo knew.

“Fives. Where is he?” Echo demanded when the black and red clones shifted nervously at the new energy in the cabin.

Rex took a deep breath and removed his blue jaig-eyed helmet. His eyes were far off, like he was reliving a distant, sad memory. Anakin’s hands were balled into fists next to the captain.

“Rex,” Echo pleaded harshly, “what happened?”

“He died looking out for his brothers,” Rex finally said too calmly while looking Echo in the eyes, but his breathing betrayed his true feelings. His breathing was shaky, so unlike the captain even in the worst of situations. Rex was sparing him, he realized.

Shit.

It was bad, then.

Echo didn’t press. He knew not to ask for further details. Honestly, he didn’t think he wanted to know the details. Definitely not in front of mere strangers, no matter if they helped rescue him and are technically his brothers. It just didn’t feel right to discuss something so personal in front of someone other than the 501st.

Hunter, the long-haired one, cleared his throat and motioned for his squad to follow him to allow for a little more privacy for Echo in the small cabin.

As young and as different as their batch was, the sergeant understood something of loss.

Echo was starting to feel it, all he’d loss because of the war, the Separatists, every brother, nearly every piece of his will.

Five minutes. I’ll give myself five minutes. Echo thought as this hollow pain aches through his entire being.

He felt hot tears leak from his eyes as he glared at the ceiling. His brother, his best friend. The most obnoxious, hilarious, and headstrong person he knew was just gone.

He shuddered with his next breath and tried to calm it out. There was still a war. He couldn’t fall apart now.

All of the memories with his twin came rushing in like an avalanche. Memories training with the nearly hopeless Domino squad, their first outposting on Rishi Moon, their brother 99, going to 79s and picking up a fling (or two) for the night, defending Kamino from the Separatists and becoming ARC troopers, the late night talks that clones weren’t supposed to have about the war ending and having a life outside of the GAR.

And Echo let it. He was sure no one, save for Rex, truly mourned for Fives. Fives deserved to be remembered.

He was his brother, and he knew damn well Fives stood up for every injustice he saw. He was not a quiet man and if someone was done wrong, Fives would rally behind that person. He was loving and caring, and he had a brain despite some people thinking he was only action.

Echo didn’t care about losing physical parts of himself. As soldiers, they were trained to adapt. He’d work with what he was giving.

At the moment, his pain was clawing its way out from his throat like a nasty sarlacc. He bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from shrieking his pain into the whole galaxy.

His entire body was shaking with the force of the sobs he was holding in as his vision blurred with tears.

His five minutes to grieve were up. He took in the deepest breath he could and calmed himself down. He noticed a touch of something else calming him down after a bit.

He looked over to see compassion pouring through Anakin’s face. He was using the Force to ease some of the pain. Echo was never more grateful for an act of kindness.

When they finally landed Anaxes, Echo was ready for battle.

It didn’t feel right. It felt off. And not because he was drained from the horrors he had endured.

He no longer fit in. They had moved on without him, and rightly so.

So when Hunter offered him a place with the Bad Batch and Rex encouraged him, he felt it might be good for a fresh start.

When his new squad was asleep and he couldn’t find solace, when it was just him and hum of the Marauder zipping through hyperspace, he would find himself scratching on his metal prosthetics. If his brothers saw the Aurebesh five, they didn’t remark on it.

It seems they were all familiar with that kind of loss, too.

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seikyoko · 3 years

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I am kinda baffled by the people who unironically say that Yullen is a ship between a 40+ yo and a 9 yo, and say that to people who don’t read/watch dgm and also not providing any context. And I am just like “erm what ?” and I even saw one being like “I don’t endorse pedophilia but yeah basically”

(below is me ranting about how hypocritical that claim is since every argument saying that “Allen” is that old can be applied to Kanda too I just don’t know where to put the read more thingy)

(Now, I ultimately don’t care, it is ultimately a fictional ship between two manga characters and even if that ship contains something immoral it doesn’t actually reflect on the person who ship it unless they attempt to justify it as something okay in real life in order to justify their ship for example “not actually abuse they’re not hitting them with a whip/the abused one isn’t complaining” etc etc, it’s not like grand theft auto players actually think stealing cars and murdering people and robbing banks is morally okay and normal.)

Although Kanda being chronologically 9 yo and “Allen” existing 35 years ago should be by this logic be problematic in all their ships (except like Poker pair or Road/Allen), I only see it being brought up when people talk about Yullen, it is kinda frustrating

They’re literally, because of the whole confusing age regression/forced reincarnation thing the closest in age to each other.

"Allen” met Mana when he was a 7yo, he did exist as a child and worked at the circus before the meeting, but with how frequently he was beaten (and I don’t think they spared the resources to treat him and he was kept in unclean conditions so it was bound to get infected some day), was starved and overworked, given not warm enough clothes as a disabled really young child, I really don’t think he would have survived for long in these conditions, “Allen” ‘s earliest possible memories as himself had to be when he was 6 years old. 10 years ish before the current arc.

He literally start out as a blank slate (even more clear in ALFOS), he know how to speak and understand human speech just fine, probably didn’t had to relearn stuff like walking/moving/eating/performing other basic tasks all 6yo know how to do, he doesn’t know anything else, he thinks that his parents abandonned him and sold him to the circus, but has no memory of such a thing, it’s stated in ALFOS that it’s something the ringmaster told him.

You can even see how childish and kinda ignorant his thinking is in ALFOS, because when checking up on Allen the dog, he see Mana and the dog performing, and then at the end the audience cheer on them

(it’s Jeidafei’s translation of ALFOS, they have a tumblr of the same name)

Red describe that feeling the crowd feel toward the clown and the clown feel toward the audience as love, but it’s really too big of a word to apply on a crowd cheering on a clown who is doing his job, and certainly not what Red is refering to, it isn’t at all what Red and later “Allen” wants. Something Pasta and teen “Allen” would know, but because Red is a 7 yo with no experience outside of being scorned, he doesn’t have the tools to know.

He is ultimately a really responsible young child, but just that, a child, he has no memory or maturity outside of those 10 years he lived, in the manga it’s seen that his only memories as Pasta are him promising to remember his name (probably to Nea) and Nea asking his name, he also hallucinate a wheat field, but that’s about it.

Now about Kanda, he canonically “murdered” Alma 9 years ago, he is also a blank slate, he doesn’t have the emotional tools to bear/deal with his situation (honestly even an adult wouldn’t, life as a second exorcist was beyond terrible) and couldn’t even find in himself the will to live until that day he laughed with Alma, it’s pretty clear that he’s a child (ex : him asking Edgar how humans are made, him and Alma believing that a dude named Winter is what makes weather cold etc), none of that maturity he should have as someone who was a grown man before. He spend roughly one year at the lab (he destroyed Alma 192 days after that day they laughed together, and some time had passed between his birth and that) so he also has roughly 10 years of experience as a human being

(I wouldn’t exactly call him a newborn though, because honestly newborns aren’t on young!Kanda’s level either, they spend years and years learning how to properly talk and have a conversation, crawl then walk, eating properly, going to the toilets properly and so on, Kanda was already at the level of a 5 yo or so at the earliest.)

Kanda and “Allen” both start out as an amnesiac extremely young child who only know basic universal human things a human child would know (perhaps even less), and have basically 10~ ish years of lived experience.

even if you want to argue that pasta was adult, the whole second exorcist reveal was that Kanda was one too (one that remembers his past life better too).

“but Allen’s body existed before too ! he is actually a 40+ yo in the end !” Kanda’s did too, his brain anyway which is the only thing that matters as far as minds go (unless you believe that you have braincells or memories in stuff like your arm or something and honestly whatever I won’t try to change your mind), the scientists didn’t magically summon their souls from the ether, as seen with them recovering Marie’s body and Alma discovering their former bodies, it’s explicit that they implanted the brains of former exorcists in new bodies, which means that Kanda’s brain existed since past!Kanda was born, who was also an adult since long ago. Maybe even before 35 years ago, as theorized in that post I sadly can’t find where someone point out that past!Kanda died in a wheat field with weird coloured smoke around, which is something that was probably caused by Cyrus campbell, as seen in Nea’s flashback he showed to “Allen”).

Basically, no, Yullen isn’t a pedo ship

#my meta #dgm meta #dgm spoilers #dgm #allen walker #kanda yuu

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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Wilbur is a Prince of Heart fucking bite me

*clears throat* now that i have your attention please watch as i become mentally ill and explain why wilbur soot is a dirk strider kinnie. all /rp of course. analysis under the cut because i talk. so much.

basic summary: wilbur is destructive about emotions, he destroys others emotionally and most notably destroys himself for being emotional, he wants to be in control and spirals when he loses it but ultimately falls down mentally from broken trust and a misguided want to care for and about others. he lashes out at perceived flaws and puts people into titles, such as putting himself as a villain, and perceives himself as a negative force overall but is unable to stop caring and as such can often turn to using how much he cares into a destructive force. he needs to learn how to healthily let go of control and how to trust others. he used to care healthily and needs to relearn how to do so, but the fact that he is growing into becoming a healthy heart player when he fell due to untreated destructive tendencies is a signifier of being a prince

oh classpects my beloved <3 as a heart player (thief of heart :]) wilbur is absolutely a heart player and anyone who says otherwise is Wrong. anyways what people not super into the classpecting buiz dont know is that while aspects can have certain aesthetics tied to them, they arent defined by those aesthetics, and sometimes themes present in characters is uh, just them being characters and doesnt have anything to do with classpects. thats why every canon heart player in homestuck has something to do with romance (especially failed romance), but being a heart player does not mean youre inherently tied to romance, not really. also characters are often influenced by others and that can mess with things, but classpects are an ultimatum, you have to look at the whole arc of a character to classpect them, and thats hard in a story thats not done yet like the dream smp

but anyways. aspect is more about worldview, its how you see things, and it can either be something youre born into or something you grow into (which is determined by your class- for example, tommy is a knight because hes always had a connection to blood [which is also why i like knight more than thief, because as a thief, thief classes take their aspect and did not always have them, but tommys always been connected to blood, to relationships, in a literal sense he protects {knight} his relationships {blood} and sticks by them {also knight}]) which i think is why it can be so hard for people to agree on one aspect- you have to consider whether or not that character always embodied it or if they grew into it. in a world of unreliable narrators, worldviews have to be actively read into and you have to often push what a character says aside because they may be straight up lying. and because theyre lying, that can affect how they come off and their actions and words may seem disconnected when they arent

wilburs hard to get a handle on his class because of how often he contradicts the fuck out of himself, his aspect is easier to figure out because we've known him long enough to see how he fits into the heart mold- he cares about others, definitely! but he does have a vaguely inherent selfishness about him (calling l'manburg *his*, destroying it because he cant have it, because he's paranoid and doesn't think theres a chance of it ever being what it was meant to be, even when hes given the chance to have it again he destroys it instead because he doesnt want to try and fix it, claiming he doesnt care even though he destroyed it because he cared too much). unhealthy heart players can be cunning but impulsive, perceptive but emotional and falling into gut instincts. exploring their own identities and others identities as well, placing importance in titles and roles and all that jazz, and what parts of this are played into or not is determined by class

wilbur is a prince because princes have a significant projection of self importance. but because princes either destroy their aspect or through their aspect, and are active destroyers, they can often destroy things (or people) if they believe its not working correctly, or if theyre losing control. unhealthy princes can often lash out and destroy others and themselves for perceived weaknesses, and will often focus on themselves. unhealthy princes often start thinking theyre the root of why theres so many shitty things going on. princes in general also try really hard to compensate for insecurities and do by justifying what happens to them with narratives that they deem to be correct. they arent actively malicious, but if they see a perceived flaw it can often piss them off and cause them to lash out

wilbur loses control (and i must note here, he also loses trust, and accepting that you can trust others and that its okay to not be in control is a sign of a healthy prince) and spirals because of betrayal and paranoia, and that only makes him want more control over what happens so that he cant be betrayed again. he tries to destroy his own emotions, becomes distant and untrusting, tries to destroy others emotions by stating his own current worldviews and stating that they cant trust others and that hes going to destroy what and who they care about. however, because wilbur is still emotional and still cares, as a apart of his character, he still often backs out of destruction (or offers himself up to be destroyed instead, "if youre going to kill anyone kill me"), its in his most conscious moments that he shows that hes not as malicious as he wants people to see him as. he sees himself as a villain and as the cause of all bad things, and encourages pursuits of power because he sees control and power as good things

tommys quote of "he treated other people badly because he wanted to be treated badly" (paraphrased of course) works well here for why wilbur is a prince. he destroyed because he wanted to be destroyed, destroyed lmanburg and hurt others and drove them to hurt others (the pit) because he saw himself as a destructive force needed to be taken down. he wanted to be in control of his life, his safety, others safety, of his possessions and of the narrative, and it all swirled into him wanting to be in control of his own death. bards are too passive, they invite destruction rather than cause it, wilbur can be mistaken as a bard because of how he often acts with tommy, but that can also be seen as a princely thing of trying to be in control of who he cares about

also the lying about what he cares about feels very prince of heart lol. bitch saying he doesn't care about l'manburg then staring wistfully at the van.. yeah. he cares. but it serves his goal more to pretend he doesn't. l'manburg itself was a decision driven by emotion, it's an emotional priority, and that's why wilbur cares about it (heart move), but wants to destroy it because he feels like the original emotions he put behind it are gone and corrupted and that he and others no longer deserve it (prince move). as such, he clashes with tommy, who cares about it because he got a family from it (blood move) and wants to protect it and keep everyone involved safe (knight move)

you could argue that wilbur fits classes like witch because of how he manipulates emotions and others but i think that lays way into how revivedbur is currently acting and not how wilbur is as a whole. he's too driven by impulses to be a witch, and i think a witch wilbur would be way more actively villainous than a prince wilbur, however surprising that may sound. princes are destructive sure, but ultimately their downfall comes from whether they trust others or not, and wilbur only trusting tommy (and maybe phil? im waiting to see more interactions between them to see if wilbur is going to really be open to phil or not) isn't enough to save wilbur from his spiral. he needs to learn how to healthily release control and how to trust others, how to step back and snap out of thinking he knows best. also i feel that it's a bit easier to see when princes are full of shit than it is to see when a witch is full of shit lmao, at least from a personal perspective, of course when you're a viewer of the story it's easier to see manipulation than it is when you're apart of the story

#dsmp #hs #wilbur #dsmp analysis #dsmp classpects #mask mews #implied suicide #ask to tag #also ghostbur is absolutely a splinter ala hal #i think ghostbur would probably have a different class but still be a heart player. maybe ghostbur is the witch? hmmm #idk. ill think about it maybe #oh wait tommys talked about pretty often here #tommy

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szethsmom · 4 years

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SzethCast #1

SO! The boy is here!!! Time for me to organize my Thoughts into something coherent.

First of all, I storming called it! They’ve come to the uneasy arrangement of knowing that he can literally walk out anytime he feels like it, because no one else can be trusted to care for the insane murder stick he carries. But he’s staying there, no fuss, because Dalinar told him to. No one quite knows what to do with him, which, frankly, has been a fairly consistent theme throughout his story. It’s both hilarious and a little concerning--all the more reason he needs to relearn to trust himself to make his own decisions.

The simple accommodations of his cell are probably the nicest setup he’s had in a long time, without being lavish enough that he feels the need to deny himself of them. And having the stormlight everywhere, driving out the shadows... it makes me think that he and Dalinar may have had a talk about the screams they both heard, which is progress!

One of the things I love about him is that he’s just,,, on a completely different wavelength from everyone else. Why are you mad I didn’t tell you about the sphere before? It’s not relevant until you ask. Why are you making me repeat myself? I already answered your question. He’s not trying to withhold information; he just genuinely doesn’t understand the need to speak on anything but the singular matter at hand. Neurodivergent Szeth, anyone?

The whole “’what if Dalinar dies?’ ‘I hadn’t thought of that’” thing.... oof. Yeah, the boy definitely still has some stuff to work through. I think he draws a lot of comfort from putting himself in a specific role and mindset (hence the “‘weren’t you curious?’ ‘....I was Truthless’” exchange). This is getting into speculative territory a bit, but I get the sense he was raised being told he existed for one specific role (probably a monk/priest). That sort of thinking doesn’t just come out of nowhere. He was disciplined into that mindset long before he actually became Truthless. Starting to bond his first spren took him into a dangerously different world, and the outcome of that (being named Truthless when he tried to warn his community of danger) led him to fall back on the mindset he had been indoctrinated into since a young age. You exist for one purpose. You are not allowed to be a person. Swearing himself to Dalinar was, in that sense, a continuation of that. He didn’t want to side with the Herald he knew was crazy and the insane spirits of nightmare that possessed others and sought to destroy humanity. But he couldn’t make that choice, because he is a tool, not a person. So, he found the first likely candidate on the other side and decided to become his tool instead. He hasn’t thought about what would happen if Dalinar dies because his future is not his own anyway. He will "deal” with that if and when it happens, and find someone else to inherit the tool.

In some ways he is making progress, because he made a decision of who he didn’t want to be used by. But in order for real growth to happen, he needs someone to challenge him to think of himself as an actual person, capable of making decisions based on his internal code of ethics (which, I might add, is quite strong, and also part of the reason I’m not sure Skybreaker is the best place for him). Right now Lift and Dalinar seem to be the most likely options for that, but there is also potential for Kaladin or Adolin to weasel their way in.

And actually, this is why I think Nightblood is so good for him as well. The sword built to destroy evil, but unable to determine it? It forces Szeth to make judgement calls in a way he has not had to before. Plus, he gets a perky friend who challenges everything and encourages him to take action himself. Nightblood questioning Nale’s sanity was a huge factor in Szeth changing sides at the end of Oathbringer.

But with his and Navani’s final exchange in this chapter, I was reminded of how far he still has to go. In a way, the main role of his current position is to be an object of hatred. I don’t think he’s depressive spiraling the same way Kaladin does. I don’t think he’s actively self-destructive. But I do think that he sees it as his duty now to provide an outlet for the people he has hurt. If Dalinar won’t let him out in the field to fight, if Dalinar’s will is that he sit in this cell... well then, it must be that his current role is to sit there and take whatever justified anger there is against him. And he appreciates it. Not in a masochistic way, but in the sense that he is being useful; fulfilling his purpose.

Anyways, I have a lot of emotions about him, and I hope he gets the fleshed-out arc he deserves. Branderson has really set him apart from other characters just by the way he thinks, and I can’t wait to see his past be revealed and his future unfold.

#idk if this makes any sense or not but hey I wrote a Thing!#szeth #stormlight meta #row spoilers #long post #vin screams into the void

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linkspooky · 5 years

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Kanao, Inosuke: Learning to be Human Again

As I’ve stated before the fights in the final arc against the upper moons are not just life or death battles, but climaxes for the themes surrounding each character. By fighting Doma the most inuman and heartless of the demons, both Inosuke and Kanao rediscover their humanity together and find their emotions once more.

1. Humanity is taught, Emotions are Learned

At the beginning of her fight with Doma, Kanao accuses him of being what is basically referred to in popular culture as a “born psychopath” or “sociopath”, a trope in which a charcater is unable to feel human emotions the same way as everybody else and was simply born that way.

However, from Doma’s backstory we know personally that this is a learned behavior, and he is in fact capable of feeling for others or feeling emotions in his heart it’s just he never truly connected with anyone until he fought against Shinobu.

Doma’s heartless behavior is something he learned, not something he was borned with. He was utterly dehumanized by both of his parents and treated as the center of a religion from a young age. He was basically raised in a cult and denied any oppurtunity to see him as a person. Not only that but both of his parents used him completely in their own self interest. Every single adult around him used him in some way. He felt no connection to them. He was not able to mourn them when they were dead even, because they died once more completely due to their own self-interest and greed not thinking of their child once.

Ironically despite seeing through the false nature of the cult Doma turned into exactly what his parents intended him to be. He did not grow up a human child that was loved, he did not grow up with his own center of identity, he stayed in the center of the cult his entire life and lived as a symbol rather than a person because he was never treated as one.

Doma sees no meaning in life because no one has shown him any. He has no connection to anybody in life. Even though he despises the cult he’s also stayed with it his whole life, because he has nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. All of these views are not something he was born with, it was something he learned due to the selfish actions of all the adults around him. Doma takes pity on people who constantly grapple with what he believes is a meaningless life, but at the same time he’s the most pitiful one at all because he cannot see any meaning in his own life. He gets nothing from continuing to live, he feels no connection to anybody, or anything in this life.

Doma expresses the fact that he never felt sad or lonely in life, but considering how isolated he was it was probably more akin to those were the only things he felt. He just did not know the difference one way or another. Doma had no connection to living, he had no life of his own, nobody ever perceived him as a person and therefore all of the things which make life worth living were nothing more than fleeting dreams to him. He came to look down on humans living their own lives because he was never allowed to live his.

Even Doma had the capability to connect, it was just not until he met Shinobu someone who was so utterly like him and lived an equally empty life that he began to feel things. Humanity is not something people are born with, it’s something that’s given to you by the people around you.

Without people in your life it’s impossible to know who you really are. Humans discover themselves in their interactions with other people. It’s almost like their hearts belong to others. Doma who never had any kind of genuine interaction in his life, lost sight of his heart, and then inevitably in himself.

2. Kanao and Inosuke, relearning their Humanity

The question is then how does Kanao zero in on this trait so immediately? It’s because she is the same as Doma, she does not regard herself as a person either. This is a clear case of projection, Kanao doesn’t believe she was born a person so she accuses Doma, she perceives in others of the flaw she fears in herself.

The reason we are given for Shinobu feeling nothing but anger herself is due to the fact that she lost almost everybody in her life. Not only that, but the people she surrounded herself with also lost all of their families. Shinobu saw life as irepparably empty without those people in it, and at the blank expanse of void in front of her she could only feel anger to fill it.

As Shinobu loses the people around her, she becomes less and less human. We see the same happen with Kanao, she too is unable to feel her emotions properly. Even when she feels upset she cannot cry. She saw herself as lesser than the people around her because she was unable to express herself.

Kanao’s major distinguishing characteristics have been how emotionless she was for most of the manga, and how witholding she was with her true thoughts and feelings especially around Tanjiro.

Kanao ironically adopts the same views as Doma to cope. She stops seeing herself as an individual person with wants and needs and instead she views herself as someone listening to the orders of others. She is unable to find her own heart. She even says the same things as Doma, that things around her are meaningless and nothing she does will matter therefore she does not have to make her own choices.

This is something learned from her environment as well. Not only by the way people mistreated her when she showed her emotions, but also because of the loss of her family around her. She lost her ability to cry. She could no longer mourn others properly or let herself feel those feelings, lest she be consumed by the lost.

But we see this is somethnig Kanao eventually recovers from as well. Despite having lost everybody in her life, due to the fact that she was more open than Shinobu to living the way Kanae wanted her to, and valuing the people around her Kanao was able to open herself up to the people around her. Humanity is something easy to lose, but it can always be found in the people around you.

Inosuke is also someone who has lost his humanity, and his ability to connect with other people due to his isolation. He just reacts the opposite way of Kanao. Kanao shuts everything out and never displays her own emotions, not making decisions for herself, not even speaking for herself most of the time. Inosuke is the opposite, he makes no attempt to control himself, he just acts on instinct all the time like a wild animal would, and he also does not abide by or cooperate with the others around him at the beginning of his arc. He has no interest in other people and only ever follows his own instinct.

Kanao and Inosuke view themselves as inhuman in different ways. Kanao is subhuman like a servant, who has no free will to decide on her own because she views herself as lesser than those around her. Inosuke is egocentric like a child is, he only cares about his own wants and needs at the start of the manga and does not see the people around him either, he does not see himself as human but as a rampaging boar who can do whatever he wants due to strength. He sees himself as someone abandoned and with no family, and therefore no connection to others.

The reason besides the connection to his mother that the pinky promise is so important to Inosuke is because it’s the first sign of connection he sees from another person. It’s the first time he clearly understands that someone is showing concern for his well being. Inosuke is egocentric like a child, in that he only really perceives himself and his own thoughts and does not notice others, because he was raised without any parental figures and never properly grew up. He is literally a feral child with only the vaguest notion on what it is to be human.

Inosuke even says so himself, he has no mother because he was raised by the boars. Due to the fact that he does not see himself as someone that was loved by a mother, it’s difficult for him to perceive himself as human. Inosuke views himself as an abandoned child, deep down he always feared that his parents did not love him and carelessly threw him away that was why he was so uncomfortable pretending to be human, and why he always hid his own face with the bore mask. Which is why the revelation that his mother actually got killed trying to save him, and wanted to live with him is something that shocks him so deeply.

At which point we bring up the same question of meaninglessness. Did her life have no meaning because she died so miserably? It’s a question that every character in this fight who has experienced loss comes against, or Doma who never had that love in the first place.

But Inosuke recovers by remembering his mother’s affection for him. He was no longer an abandoned child, but rather a child who his mother loved, and desperately wanted to spend her whole life raising.

Which is why he was finally able to be put in touch with his own emotions. He was able to feel things properly as a human, because he finally learned he had a family like everyone else, he was not seperate, he was not abandoned.

Just because he lost that mother did not mean her love was meaningless, or that her life was meaningless in the first place. Her love is something that endures on in Inosuke who survived her. Which is once again, the proof that humans lived, their humanity, all that matters in their lives are handed to other people. His mother is gone, but her love for him still remains. Inosuke is able to keep living despite having lost his family, the same way Kanao is.

His humanity was lost and he acted inhuman when he thought he was nothing more than an abandoned child, but reconnecting with the memory of his mother made him remember his own humanity, enough that he was able to connect with his feelings and cry again.

Which is why Kanao, and Inosuke’s fight is so thematically important to the story. Even if it all ends in tragedy, even if you die in a meaningless way, the connections you made in life matter. You are still human, you are still your own person until the end. You lived. Inosuke and Kanao discovered this, they are alive.

#inosuke hashibira #kanao tsuyuri #kanao #inosuke #kny meta #kimetsu no yaiba meta #kimetsu no yaiba #doma #meta

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