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#sorry just. jesus christ dude. im so tired.
biohazrd · 5 months
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cannot possibly explain how heart wrenching and isolating it is to be one of the tiny handful of people still keeping up w c0vid and taking precautions in this country i am so tired but since everybody else decided that they're totally fine letting a virus that destroys your immune system and heart run rampant and disable and kill millions bc they got tired of the mild inconvenience of wearing a piece of cloth on their face i guess i gotta keep chug-a-lugging
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barnabybrainrot · 6 months
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#mod posts#idk dude i am so conflicted abt this ‘barnaby is overrated’ shit#on one hand im like… wow another person who feels he’s overrated. daring today are we?#on the other im like… i understand what its like when the character you like isnt the popular one in the community#like i normally tend to hyperfixate on the side characters so i absolutely know how frustrating it is#i also know from personal experience that a lot of it can just be hating it solely BECAUSE its popular#when i was like 14 and undertale came out i hated it just bc it was popular. and then i played it myself and yknow what? i enjoyed it#like… its okay not to like something!! everyone has unique tastes#and i also understand the concern abt barnaby being treated like snatcher (i know NOTHING abt snatcher so dont. quote me on that)#like theres a chance the ‘fanon’ version of barnaby will be given precedence over ‘canon’#the same shit happened with sans. remember all those sans/reader fics where sans was this edgy mysterious guy?#yet in fanon hes just a funni little skeleton who likes bad jokes?#yet in *canon jesus christ i cant spell today#but like. can we just let people enjoy things if they arent hurting anyone?#like i get it its annoying sometimes. like i had to mute the oc tag bc i was tired of seeing RP stuff#but im not like. going into their inboxes and telling them theyre bad ppl for enjoying a popular character yknow?#sorry this is making like. no sense. and im sorry to put it in tags but i do NOT want this spreading#anyways. those are my thoughts for today.
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onepiexe · 1 year
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i havent done anything manual labor in so long
#logbook#woke up to my body aching like crazy#. .i miss this feeling. idk when i'll have time bc of work but man. i should exercise.#couldnt pull some plant carts right away in my first week 😭 also yesterday i couldnt lift a box.#i was too short to put it on the shelf is what i said but i was also tired at that point in the day. augh.#i loaded up 2 ladies cars. . .also moved and lifted pots.#plastic but big stacks and some bigger sizes.#today we have a fl+werw++d delivery. wonder what all it is. probably just more perennials.#i figured the ache would go away but i miss my old coworkers so much. . .#and then i remember how long it took for me to stop aching and missing ml while at nnl. . .so yeah. just on top of new work lol#ive had several emps say i look like a kid. which. thanks guys. sorry but when i was 15 i didnt look 25. .#i feel sorry to ppl who look at old when that young tbh. also it makes me go insane bc im p sure most of the younger emps#ARE in fact. younger than me. based on conversations. but nobody believes me 😭#tbf l+wes had a 18+ policy but this nursery is a gen family owned so they hire teens looking for work and work experience.#i dont personally see how anybody can think im -18 bc im working FULL not part time and i'm mon-fri but still.#regardless ive had a guy joke abt child labor laws bc i get in early. and some dude yesterday asked if i was doing hmwk. jesus christ guys.#ok i have to get ready for work 😭 gaia give me patience and reward me plsssssss
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rodismancave · 9 months
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.
#ok im not going to go into it too deeply because I know myself and if I go too deeply into it I’ll just go on and on and on#and everyone will HATE IT!#but like . oh my god. Jesus Christ dude#I feel like people really don’t know r.dimus at all. it feels TIRING to read fic because of how… ooc he is.#why all the drama? he’s dramatic sure but he’s not THAT dramatic. I can excuse it if it’s for the sake of comedy- like how I do it#Bc I’m always making him overly dramatic *for the sake of comedy*#but it’s not. it’s for angst that isn’t even fucking there#there’s so many issues with him that you could focus on but ppl make up issues that aren’t there and it’s GRAAA#it makes it so grating to read. so annoying. like the main character in a YA romance novel.#it’s tiring and it’s dramatic for no reason and it’s angst under the guise of romantic#R.dimus and d.ift would NOT have worked out.#idc what jr says. maybe they were fwb who gives a shit it fits their characters but ultimately#Rodimus fucked it up beyond repair and none of them ever addressed those issues#it’s the type of thing that’s like. yeah the fuckings good but an actual relationship with this person? sounds like hell!#I write Ro.imus as missing d.ift because he is his only close friend.#it’s the obvious ‘my best friend got married and I wish I wasn’t jealous but I am.’ trope. he is not jealous of ratchet. he encourages#the relationship. he just misses the fact Dr.ft is his *one* constant. and that’s IT#he would not be wailing over a broken relationship or a breakup because they parted on good terms. x#genuinely the only reason r.dimus even apologized to d.ift in the first place is bc he didn’t go looking for him. and that was it.#ok I went on for longer than I wanted sorry lawl!#ooc / misty forest
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insomnia, tea and clockwork oranges
tangerine x reader
word count: 1.3k
cw: swearing, reader uses some british slang, bad clockwork orange references, mentions of sexual stuff, mentions of drugs, tangerine being a therapy friend, is it ooc? maybe but i don't care
a/n: i kind of hate this but i'm only halfway through the other tangerine fic im writing
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---—---
you were exhausted.
the mission was exhausting but you had finally completed it. working with the twins always went well but they were tiring after a while.
you couldn't sleep though. days of running on adrenaline and wishing you were home in your bed and now that you could finally crash in the house you all rented for the night and you were wide awake.
you gave up on your miserable attempt on counting sheep and decided to exit your small room for the night and go make yourself some tea.
you walked into the kitchen and found the kettle, mugs, teabags and sugar and started boiling the water.
"can't sleep either?"
"jesus fucking christ." you held your hand over your heart as you turned around and faced the living room adjacent to the kitchen. tangerine was still awake, sitting on the couch holding a book. "you scared the shit out of me."
he smirked as he looked you up and down, "sorry love, i didn't think anyone would still be awake." 
"neither did i," you moved to start preparing your cup now that your heart rate had calmed down, "you want a cuppa?"
"sure."
"sugar? milk?" you moved to grab another mug.
"nah."
you scrunched up your nose in surprise, "really? that's fuckin' gross."
"whaddya mean gross? it's classic."
"disgusting."
"the best way to have tea."
"without milk and sugar, it isn't tea, it's leaf soup."
"leaf soup? the fuck you talkin' 'bout darlin'" 
the kettle flicking off interrupted the response on the edge of your tongue and instead you moved over to pour the hot water. you silently finished making the cups of tea, ignoring the feeling of tangerine's gaze on you.
once done you moved over to the living room and placed both mugs on the coffee table before flopping down next to tangerine on the couch. you adjusted so you were sat crossed legged, close enough to tangerine for your knees to knock against each other.
you reached over and grabbed your drink, blowing on it slightly and taking a sip, "why are you still awake."
he shrugged slightly and reached for his own mug, "post kill adrenaline i guess. what about you?"
"i had to sell the sheep i usually count to feed my pet orphans." you joked as your eyes wandered to the book he placed on the table, "you were reading."
"yeah what's wrong with that?" he bit back quickly and defensively.
"fucking hell, chill out dude," you giggled slightly at his defensiveness, "i guess i just never pictured you reading. i mean i know you're well read and all but reading is a relaxing activity and i've never seen you relaxed." 
"oh." his eyebrows knitted in confusion at your small rant.
"so what book are you reading?"
"a clockwork orange."
you can't help but snort, "never mind that explains it."
as quick as it left his defensiveness returned, "explains what?"
"you don't relax while reading a clockwork orange. it's a good book and all but it ain't relaxing."
"you've read a clockwork orange?"
"of course. brainwashing, rape, murder, violence, reminds me of our lives except more dramatic. and i don't get my drugs from milk. and classical music doesn't make me cum."
he laughed at that, "you get off other places do you love?"
"oh yeah screamo music or the teletubbies theme are the only songs i use to get off." you responded with mock seriousness.
he smiled again, "personally i prefer black metal." he matched your tone, and you returned his grin, "if you don't read this shit what do you read?"
"porn." you smirk at him.
his smiles drops slightly, "you do that a lot y'know."
"what? read porn? darn i thought i hid it so well."
"no," he rolled his eyes, "the joking. you always do it to avoid things that make you uncomfortable."
it was your turn to get defensive, "i'm sorry?"
"lemon pointed it out a few days ago, i hadn't really noticed before he said it actually but it's true."
"i do not."
"why can't you sleep."
you had to swallow the sarcastic comment that instinctively wanted to claw its way out, "i dunno, left over adrenaline or whatever shit you said."
"you're lying." he said simply and moved to place his half empty mug back on the table next to the worn copy of clockwork orange.
"so? why do you care?" you copied his actions placing your own almost empty drink back down.
he moved his hand so it was on your knee and started tracing small, comforting circles. he used his other hand to grab your jaw, forcing eye contact, "i don't know much 'bout personalities and all that shit that's lemons stuff."
"yes i realised that when i encountered your own unlikeable personality."
his eyes narrowed slightly but he otherwise ignored your snark, "but you seem to be avoiding vulnerability, love."
you pulled away from him. moving your knee away and pulling your face away from his large hand, "no 'm not."
tangerine didn't respond. he simply kept looking at you, like he could see your resolve crumbling, "you don't have to tell me but i don't enjoy being lied to."
you couldn't believe you were considering talking to him about feelings. sure, you were close, you'd been on countless missions together and trusted him completely but this? 
he didn't say anything further but he did replace his hand on your knee continuing rubbing his thumb.
fuck you hated him at the moment.
"i don't feel safe."
he didn't say anything, didn't even falter his movements, just looked at you and waited for you to continue.
"i get nightmares and paranoid after all the fuckin' shit you see in this job." you look down, not liking his eye contact, "i don't feel safe tryin' to sleep."
much to your relief he spoke again, "do you trust me?"
your eyes knitted together in confusion, "yeah tan 'f course."
"lay down."
"what?"
he shuffled closer to the armrest, "you can't sleep. neither can i. so just lay down and relax and we'll stay up together." he pat his lap and looked at you expectantly.
"yeah, okay whatever." you breathed out and shuffled around until you were laying comfortably with your head in his lap and your legs curled up on the couch.
he started running his hand through your hair, smoothing it away from your face, "what’s it going to be then, eh?"
you can't help but smile up at him, "an unlimited supply of milk laced with ecstasy and classical music so good it makes me horny and violent?"
"don't think we'd be able to do all that tonight love."
"oh well i can settle for two weeks straight of horribly gory murder movies."
"yes but you'd have to be violently ill while doing so."
"i think if i got conditioned to hate violence i'd be out of a job."
"well, we can't have that."
"yeah. you'd miss me too much." you couldn't fight the yawn that crept up on you.
tangerine's other hand came down to rest on your cheek, his big hand almost covering your face, "tired, darlin'?"
you froze looking up and glaring, "how'd you do that are you a witch?"
"it's a secret, don't fight it just tell me more about your life as a droog."
"i don't think i'd be a droog."
"no?"
"nah i'd be one of the coppers they seem to have more fun."
"if you were a copper your job would be catching me."
"you wouldn't stand a chance."
"i think i’d be able to evade you for a while."
"nope." you unconsciously wiggled closer into him and yawned again, "what we should do is team up."
"oh yeah?"
"yeah, you snitch on your enemies and i arrest them. win, win scenario."
"how do i know you won't turn against me?"
"i like you too much." your eyes slowly closed, and you finally started sleeping.
tangerine smiled down at you, "yeah, i like you a lot too."
---—---
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soda-n-dinos-andmore · 3 months
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✨I have brain rot✨
so here! Have more incorrect quotes!!! (This time with more blorbos included)
California : sighs I have no friends… Alaska: Alaska: coughs Bitch, what am I? A roach?!
Gov: Hey, Florida? Florida, playing a video game with the squad: What? Gov: Can I share something with you from earlier today? Florida: Wh- what is it, Gov? Gov: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. Florida: Mhm. Gov: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend? Florida: Yeah? Gov: Your response. Florida: trying not to crack up Gov: At 9:30 in the morning. Gov: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit" Florida: laughing Gov: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. Florida: You just made me dieeee… Gov: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." Gov: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. Gov: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man" Florida: wheezing with laughter Gov: I respond "Florida, you're scaring me." An hour passes- Gov: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg" Gov: "im very tired" Florida: struggling to breathe Gov: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Florida, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-" Gov: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, Gov: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" Gov: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, Florida: falling over with laughter Gov: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."
Washington: Please, California , after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Washington: I’m sorry California . Washington: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. California : It has to be done. Washington: California : Washington: California : Places +4 Uno.
Massachusetts : Everything’s fine, Maine. New York: Massachusetts , I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- deep inhale ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.
Maine: H-how do you ask someone out? Louisiana : Well, first- Florida: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Maine: …And you said yes?
Gov: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Nevada: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.
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pesterloglog · 2 months
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Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde
Page 99-105
JADE: the prince’s power grows.
KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!
JADE: i feel him resonate through the void.
KARKAT: FUCKING GREAT.
DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second
DAVE: also are you ok
KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM!
KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN!
JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario.
KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?
KARKAT: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
DAVE: yeah i may be totally misunderstanding the intricacies of "next gen technology" designed by an idiot in microshorts
DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door
JADE: i unlocked it with my mind.
DAVE: fuck
KARKAT: FANTASTIC.
JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.
KARKAT: WOW? COOL? AND YOU HAD TO COME IN HERE AT THE ASSCRACK OF THE MORNING TO TELL US THIS?
KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?
JADE: ...
KARKAT: OH, IS THAT ALL? NOTHING ELSE TO SAY?
DAVE: karkat its fine
DAVE: who cares
KARKAT: YEAH. YOU’RE RIGHT.
KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO WAKE UP FOR.
KARKAT: GO BACK TO BED.
DAVE: no dude im up fuck it
DAVE: i want coffee
KARKAT: FUCK! FINE! FUCK IT.
KARKAT: I NEED TO USE THE GAPER ANYWAY.
DAVE: oh me too
KARKAT: DON’T FOLLOW ME.
ROXY: oh what up
ROXY: its a whole ass pajama party up in here
ROXY: couldnt sleep??
KARKAT: JADE WOKE US UP BY BEING CREEPY.
ROXY: oh
ROXY: jade why did u do that
KARKAT: WHAT?
KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US!
ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess
ROXY: it be like that
KARKAT: I PREFERRED WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS FLOAT AROUND AND POINT AT SHIT.
KARKAT: AT LEAST THAT WAS QUIET.
DAVE: yall want coffee
ROXY: sure
KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.
DAVE: hate to give it up to venture capitalism but this coffee is EONS better than the garbage we had on the meteor
DAVE: this ship is maybe the dumbest thing ive ever looked at but its a give and take right
ROXY: maybe u just developed a taste for it
ROXY: i used to think coffee tasted like ass but drinkin it was another thing i felt like my mom woulda done
ROXY: turns out rose drinks tea and i stockholmed my own dumb butt into liking this addictive bean juice
ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now
ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away
ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"
KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU UP ANYWAY?
ROXY: well i wasnt but then somebody screamed like a rooster boned a teapot and had a noisy lovechild
DAVE: yeah thats basically accurate
KARKAT: FUCK YOU.
DAVE: maybe if youre lucky
KARKAT: THAT JOKE STOPS BEING FUNNY WHEN WE’VE ACTUALLY
KARKAT: UH
KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?
ROXY: lmao
ROXY: in the fridge
DAVE: wheres kanaya
ROXY: idk
ROXY: sleepin i hope
ROXY: last time i saw her she was on the second floor
ROXY: no
ROXY: the third floor observation deck
ROXY: this place is huge
KARKAT: PLEASE.
KARKAT: IT’S MAYBE A TENTH THE SIZE OF THE METEOR.
DAVE: yeah dude but that was basically a city
DAVE: this is more like a castle
DAVE: a castle of idk
DAVE: twenty something ennui
ROXY: anybody hungry
ROXY: i was thinkin about alchemizing some pancakes
ROXY: or maybe eggs
ROXY: they all basically taste the same at the end of the day i think alchemized food is like eighty percent imagination
ROXY: but both of you barely eat and its making me anxious
DAVE: damn thanks mom
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: shit
DAVE: dad
DAVE: roxy
DAVE: fuck sorry im tired
ROXY: haha its ok
ROXY: dont worry about it
DAVE: okay but just because our relatives turned evil doesnt mean we have to act like total animals
DAVE: we can still try to respect each others identities and shit
DAVE: anyway im gonna go check on kanaya
DAVE: possessed jade dont follow me
JADE: i am fine where i am.
DAVE: cool
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h0n3yk1tt3n · 2 years
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Boyfs 41 🤔
Player 2: Michael fucking help Jake is talking to her I'm aowuwowhsj I'm done. Mission failed. We won't get em next time cuz there won't BE a next time
Michael was in his PT Cruiser waiting in the parking lot for Jeremy to come out from his first day of rehearsal. Although Jeremy, instead of heading outside, was seemingly spying on Jake and Christine.
Player 1: Lol dude I don't think your chances of getting closer to Chris are ruined just because Jake's talking to her
Player 2: Psh yeah sure cute sentiment
"You were in that play last year"
"Romeo and juliet"
"Yeah! You were ghe girl that died!"
Wait wtf
Wtf how has this guy fucked Chloe fuxking Valentine what
Player 1: OMG ARE YOU LIVE TWEETING THEIR CONVO?? Plz holy shit
Player 2: HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT A BOW IS HE JUST CALLED IT A VICTORY DANCE IM????
Fuckinffuck Chris it totally into it she's all smiley andifjdodh
Is this how he does it?? He just??? Acts like a total dork?????
Player 1: If that's all it takes to be popular then how are YOU not the most popular guy at school
Player 2: Vxisbdkdbdkd shit up
Shit
S h u t
Player 1: You love me
Player 2: Unfortunately
"I remember thinking,, I'm gLAd that girl's not DEad! Before I got the chance to know her" Jesus christ him?? With Chloe?? I'm still just??? HOW?!?!?!?
Oh fuck he invited her to hang out at the mall SHIT
Player 1: Jer come on!! Jake is proof humans aren't evolving anymore. You have just as high a chance of winning chris as him!! Go talk to her!!! Dork it up!!!
Player 2: Bdidnsjdd uhhh??? Ok????
Player 1: You got this man
A couple minutes passed without a response. A good sign!
Player 2: i very much dont got this
Dude I'm gonna throw myself into a trash can I barely got ten words out before she was like "sorry did you say something?"
SHES ALREADY WRAPPED AROUND JAKES FINGER UGH SHE LIKE BARELY ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE
Not a good sign.
Player 1: Hey don't sweat it man, at worst they might hang for a couple weeks and then he'll crawl on back to Chloe. He always does
Player 2: I guess it could've gone worse... I didn't end up in the nurse's office out of sheer panic
Player 1: There ya go! Not a huge loss!
Player 2: Doesnr exactly prove your documentary right ya know
I mean don't you get tired of us constantly being called lovers?
Michael tilted his head. It was annoying whenever stray assholes in the hall would pull their homophobic remarks, not to mention Rich's NOH OMO and BOYF RIENDS stunts, but that wasn't really-
Player 2: OMFG ***LOSERS
Ffs even autocorrevt thinks we're together
Michael snorted at his phone. Over two years of random classmates asking him if he and 'Anxious Twig' were dating and giggling in the halls whenever he'd throw his arm around Jeremy's shoulders and now predictive text was shipping them.
How funny. How cruel.
Player 1: Damn auto-correct... it's tryna keep ya on your toes
Player 2: Clearly
You know how many times I've almost typed thongs instead of things??
TOO MANY
Player 1: Lmao hurry up in there your Sev Elev pizza is getting cold and you slushee is melting
It's in the cup holder getting blasted by the ac but that's only gonna keep it alive for so long
Player 2: Yeah yeah I'll be out in a few I need to run to the bathroom and very calmly Not drown myself in the sink
Player 1: Aight have fun don't die
Player 2: No promises
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justsomedudesworld · 1 year
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a bit sick. ~ character x oc x character
Hi hello!! My first fanfic ever written! I hope this is good!
requested by user: sodacomafoxtrot thank you for requesting!
sanford watching over his sick boyfriend as he tries to comfort him, he sighed. “Apollo…” apollo coughed. “Sanford trust me!..im fine…theres a mission we need to d-“ the sneezing interrupted him. “You know you cant do missions in this condition..youre even lucky we were with you, what if you were far away? What if you were alone?” He worriedly asked. “No no, im fine..ill be working in no tim-“ a door slammed open.
Deimos, heavily breathing, he had just ran here, he had to finish the mission by himself. “…JESUS CHRIST! IS HE OKAY!?” Sanford stared at him. “He look okay to you?” “Ha-ha. Very funny, apollo?..you alright babe?..” he looked at him worriedly. “Yeah! Yeah i really am fine..just was tired..now lets go already..” he tried to stand up, both stopped him. “What-?” “No! You’re already in such bad condition..”
“trust me.” Apollo glared at deimos. “…im sorry…but you just have to rest dear!” Apollo sighed. “…please?” “…still doesn’t convince us apollo.” Sanford said. “..we could spend the entire day with you!” Deimos said. “…that would be a bit nice.” “Woo!”
A few hours went by, sanford had been watching apollo read his comics. “That character looks coo-“ deimos interrupted with a plate of pancakes in hand. “Jebus christ.” “Hi apollo! And sanford!” Deimos said with a smile. “Apollo! Here!” He shoved pancakes into his hands “you made this for me?” “…not quite uhh, instant pancakes-?” Sanford holding his laugh. “Sanford!” “Im- PF- sorry deimos!..” “..well, eat up!..” apollo smiled at deimos and ate his pancakes. “..is it good?” “Ive eaten these before, so yeah..” “goddamnit i thought you didnt..” “its okay dei..” sanford said “..are you doing better apollo?” “I think, theres still a lot of coughing, but im feeling better.” “Thats good..” apollo smiled to himself, he really enjoyed their company. “..thank you for checking up on me guys, you make me happy..”
both blushed, deimos blushed a little, sanford’s blushing was a bit peppered. “..were so glad to have someone like you with us.” “We love you a ton!”
both gave a kiss on apollo’s forehead, he blushed a bit, the night ended with them sleeping together, the end.
hii!! Its me dude! Didya enjoy the fic? I hope i did good for my first try, please request!
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tomwaterbabies · 2 years
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Which one of disney character do you hate the most? who's the most annoying and why? spill the tea 👏
oh you are so kind to allow me to bitch about things this evening. god bless
so there's few that come to mind. i try and consider not just hatred from them being a nasty person but also hatred from them being written quite poorly. so while a character like, say, lampwick is EASILY one that makes me go absolutely ballistic with anger i still like the purpose he serves in the story. though these arent all poorly written lol
but honestly i cant stand Hans Frozen. he's a repulsive dude yeah but i also think his writing is terrible. this isnt a hot take, i know a lot of people dont like him for the same reasons. but seriously the "twist villain" thing disney has been doing is at its worst here. he's a bland character, boring villain, and the writing is just... Bad. its one of those rare occasions where the sequel to a disney movie is actually better than the first movie (i dont like frozen really, but i loved frozen 2 lol)
and im sorry to say but honestly sisu from raya and the last dragon really pisses me off lol. ive read about her voice actress being kind of an Asshole so that already sucks but her character is so annoying LOL. her design isnt great imo and the amount of unfunny jokes she cracks almost every time she speaks is tiring. this movie wasnt good and it's really sad bc those cultures rly deserve good representation. and also that movie had my favorite film composer aauauauhggh
mother fucking... mertle? murdle? that ginger girl from lilo and stitch. you know the one. jesus christ. she's an asshole. literally such a nasty little child. i dont think she's written poorly though. filed under "animated redheads i want to bully" (i have a list) (lampwick is in it too)
frollo is a difficult one bc... he's easily the grossest villain (to me) but that was clearly the point? like he's supposed to be nasty? so idk if i'd count him... but while i really like hunchback i feel like it has tone problems which include how horrifically fucked up frollo is
oh god damnit there's also the gogans. from pete's dragon. idk this one is also really hard. they're supposed to be fucked up and cruel. it's very similar to lampwick where i really like how their characters work for the story but oh my god i want to beat their ass
obligatory chicken little's dad goes here. self explanatory
EDIT: i didnt want to complain about jiminy cricket again but you know what? what the hell is up with him sometimes
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
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^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
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I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
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This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
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Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
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“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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tigerdrop · 3 years
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in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that
ta-dah
ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11
so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)
basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out
now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME
he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)
the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"
(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)
vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping
jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off
and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away
and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try
(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise
and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him
unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey
now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.
and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.
(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind
so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)
but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this
lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play
but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later
and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not
i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic
it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)
it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.
and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"
and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"
normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff
its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!
i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?
well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro
anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)
“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion
and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head
gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is
and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair
so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.
and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).
benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is
benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful
so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried
point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best
benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.
he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words
hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus
benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher
he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.
gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!
but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.
anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.
for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.
and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.
gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.
the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!
gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.
benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth
and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—
and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.
then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.
once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself
he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.
“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”
“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”
and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—
except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—
and—
oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.
then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”
“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”
“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”
“im not a bad dog!”
“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”
(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)
41 notes · View notes
xpeachesncream · 3 years
Text
acquainted | five
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> series masterlist <
summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)
words: 4.2k
warnings: implied sexual content, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, club scene, alcohol consumption, intoxication, seokjin is ready to risk it all cause reader is a huge flirt, the love triangle mess shall begin
notes: AH IM SORRY, THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY?!? I TRIED to make this as fair as possible, but i..... clearly have an issue and just really wanted this to be messy lmao 
tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish​ @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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"Waddup bro." Namjoon steps aside to let Jin in. "Wasn't expecting you to come by since we're seeing each other tonight." Jin chuckled.
"Fuck, that's right." Joon laughs as he hands Jin a bottle of water before sitting.
"What, you forgot? You planned this for your own stepbrother."
"No, I know. Just a lot of things going on." He sips on his water, manspreading in Namjoon's loveseat in the livingroom. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, the headache he felt earlier this morning no longer as bad, but still lingered. After getting home last night, he had tried to push you out of his mind, but failed miserably. It didn't help that he really and genuinely tried to clear the air with Grace, only for her to push him off and sleep on the far end of their bed.
"You alright? What's going on? I feel like I haven't seen you this stressed in a really long time. Last time was probably when you were planning your proposal." Jin softly chuckles, his head still tilted back.
"Yeah, it's been quite the shit show lately."
"Can't be that bad, can it? Have you and Grace been fighting?"
"A tad."
"A tad? The way you're acting right now says it's much more than a tad."
"We've been distant. Busy. We don't do things together anymore." He shortens the shpeel cause quite frankly, he's tired of repeating the story even though he hasn't told many people.
"Why don't you guys talk about it?"
"We can't communicate properly. I try, she gets even more upset and blows me off."
"It's probably just a rough patch in your relationship. I'm sure if you just give each other enough space, you could figure out how to fix things and have a serious conversation about where you both are at and what you need from each other. Remind each other that you're a team, and not working against each other." Jin's slightly shot his head up, his eyebrow raised.
"That's actually pretty solid advice coming from you."
"Shut up, you need help right?" Joon laughs.
"You're right though, it's just been hard. I feel like we've been constantly pushing each other away."
"You two are stubborn."
"Yup, that too." Jin sipped his water.
"I know that's not the only thing on your mind." If it was anyone in Jin's circle, you could count on Namjoon to figure things out before you can even say anything to him. "It's a little hard to believe you came over here to tell me this." In which, he's right. Jin never really talked about his relationship problems, let alone did he go out of his way to tell his friends what was going on. It was more of a thing that naturally came up in conversation when they were all together.
"Don't know what you're talking about." Joon shakes his head.
"Who is she?" Jin watches Namjoon's curious eyes as he leans into the palm of his hand. He was trying to come up with excuses or find ways to see himself out of his conversation, but he couldn't. Namjoon was too smart for this. If it were Yoongi or Hoseok, maybe he could get away with it. The only thing that Jin can come up with is a stupid smirk before he shakes his head and breaks eye contact. "See."
"See what?"
"That smirk. You can't tell me I don't know that smirk. I've been there before, dude. Who is she?" He repeats, causing Jin to succumb to defeat.
"She's a grad student in my creative writing class." Namjoon pauses before he bursts out in laughter.
"I need to sit back and get comfy on my couch for this." He says leaning back and crossing his arms. "She's a grad student? What's her name?" Jin nods.
"Y/N. 25 and so fucking attractive. It's frustrating." Jin groans into his hands.
"And you're telling me you see her more than just a distraction? I mean, I have to ask cause you are going through a rough patch with Grace." Although this is definitely not what Namjoon agrees with, he was only going to advise Jin on how to approach things. But execution-wise, it was up to Jin because this was his life. Namjoon was only part of it.
"She's smart, and she's fun. And.. she's refreshing."
"What did she do to make you feel this way?"
"She kissed me. In my classroom. And," Jin swallows the lump in his throat. "It happened again last night. It almost escalated into other things. But she stopped it." He quickly says because he can see Namjoon's facial expression changing. "She stopped it and she put me in my place because it just made things even more complicated. She said that we should keep our distance from each other."
"Which, she's right Jin. You really can't be doing this." Namjoon says sternly. "Please don't be stupid. This can hurt alot of people, especially since you're still engaged to Grace."
"I know, but likeeeeee--"
"No but's." Joon shook his head. Honestly, he didn't expect this behavior from Jin and it concerned him. "I can't force you on how to act, that's solely up to you. But you need to understand that it has to be one or the other, it can't be both. You either try and work things out with Grace and leave Y/N alone, or you call it quits with Grace."
"Y/N has been occupying my mind lately and it's been hard to push her out."
"Maybe that should be a sign as to what you need to do?" Joon sighs. "I don't know. I don't know her, so I can't say much, but are you really ready to throw away all these years with Grace for her? Like, is it really that serious?" Jin shrugged.
"I don't know, she doesn't want this."
"Correction - she doesn't want this because you're engaged. It's obvious that things would be different if the circumstances changed."
"I love Grace. A lot. We've been through so many things together, lots of ups and downs that taught us things."
"Yeah, and I love you both. I love Grace like a sister. But you can't stick around just because of history and because you both are comfortable, if that's what it really comes down to. It's not fair for both parties. If you find out that this is the end of your relationship with Grace, then it's the end."
"I'm just torn."
"Look, whatever you do, know that I support you no matter what and I'm always going to be here for you. But please do this right, no matter what that is. You can't have both of them."
"Yeah I know, I hear you." Joon nods.
"You're selfish, you know that?" Joon laughs. "You couldn't even introduce her to your single friends?" Jin smiled.
"Nope. Finders keepers." Joon rose his middle finger. "Just do me a favor and keep your mouth shut until I tell Yoongi and Hoseok myself."
"Sure, whatever. Not my battle anyways." He stood up and stretched. "So, where are we taking your little Jungkookie tonight?"
"The club so he can get some for his birthday."
"What a good older brother." Jin laughed.
"Is Grace in New York already?"
"Yep. I'm probably just going to head home and sleep until then. I don't remember the last time I stayed up this late, let alone the last time I went to a club."
"Yeah go home, and not to Y/N's house."
"Should I?" Jin joked, but Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding, don't worry. Everything didn't just go in one ear and out the other."
"Yeah, please reassure me and tell me that I didn't waste time giving you advice."
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"Oh my god, hurry up!" Jimin groaned loudly as he laid sloppily on your couch, getting restless while waiting for you, Ryujin and Taehyung to finish getting ready. To be fair, you all had been getting ready and fooling around for 2 hours, while Jimin sat patiently and watched whatever was on TV.
"Shut up, Jimin! I'm going to make sure I look good tonight." Ryujin yelled back.
"For who?"
"The dick I'll be getting."
"Why did I even ask?" Jimin sighed and dug his head into a pillow while you and Ryujin continued to yell and sing along loudly to every song that came through on your bluetooth speakers. "You all look good already, please, what else do you need to do?" He mumbled into the pillow. Don't get him wrong, he loves you all to death. He truly does. But it's just been such a long time since you all have gone out like this. He forgot what it was like.
"You know, she really means me." Taehyung tugged on his collar and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.
"Okay, honestly. You two should probably fuck already. Get it out of your systems, you know?" You say as you dab lip gloss on your lips before shrugging and rolling your eyes. "Jesus Christ."
"Okay, no. You're supposed to be on my side, and that doesn't help." Ryujin's cheeks flush to a rosy tint as she pulls you aside. You knew damn well she was feeling embarrassed because it was true. She wanted to. Once Ryujin finally dusted herself off and was satisfied with her outfit, you both walked out into the living room to meet Jimin and Taehyung. Their eyes widened as they caught sight of you two, Ryujin in a pink, ruched dress with matching pink heels and you in a matching 2-piece skirt and low cut crop top.
"Oh shit, you both look good as hell." Taehyung says as he gets up and continues to eye both of you up and down. Mostly Ryujin, though. "Shall we head out?"
"Yup!" You say as you come to Jimin's side and lead the way out of your apartment. Jimin decided he'd drive tonight since he didn't feel like drinking too much, but he still wanted to go out and have fun. The crew headed to grab dinner at the Farmhouse Kitchen, which served the best Thai food in town. You all enjoyed some good grub, along with some really strong cocktails. You felt super happy that you all had time to finally do this since it's been a minute. You felt like you could finally let lose and get your mind off of things. The things that your dearest bestfriends don't even know about.
But, stories for other days. Tonight, you felt good and you looked good. You were all that and then some. Maybe tonight was the night you could meet a single, fine ass man to dance up on and act up with.
The cocktails were hitting you and Ryujin the most, already feeling tipsy before heading into the club.
"Wooooo!" Ryujin yelled before laughing out loud. "I'm ready!"
"Okay, yes, same, but please keep it together so we can at least make it inside the club." Jimin pleaded. He led your crew up to security, flashing your IDs one by one and paying for the cover fee before stepping in to the already packed nightclub. You and your friends ended up walking in a straight line, holding each other's hands to navigate through the crowd to the bottom floor. The top floor was the most crowded, being it was the house / EDM floor, while the bottom Hip Hop floor wasn't too jammed packed.
"Shots, my friends?" Taehyung asks as he swings over to the front of the bar. You follow behind him and line up against the bartender, asking for some good ol' Don Julio tequila. It wasn't your fave, but it was definitely Taehyung's go-to, and you can't lie, it got the job done quick for you. You all stick around the bar to take your shots, kicking them back to back [besides Jimin] to really get this night started.
As you waited for the final around, Taehyung is scanning the room and notices a group loudly making their way from down the steps and over to the bar. They were cheering on whoever the birthday boy was. A face in the group had looked familiar, so Taehyung squints his eyes to get a better look, and realizes its no other than Jin with his friends.
"Oh, shit! Look! Mr. Kim's here!" Taehyung laughs and says loudly, pointing towards the other end of the bar.
"Is he really?! Let's go take a shot with him and his friends!" Ryujin squeals as she sees him come into full view. You too, get a glimpse of him as they approach the bar and suddenly, you felt hot and nervous - the alcohol being of no help during this time. He looked good, and he didn't look like the already-handsome-professor you had. His hair was more natural, slightly curly, and almost like he had showered and let it messily air dry. The look was perfect on him. Not gonna lie, you were somewhat happy he was here to see how good you looked and part of you really wanted him to crave you until he couldn't take it anymore. You wanted to drive him crazy, and little did you know that you already were. It was a game you didn't mind playing, especially since you knew you couldn't have him.
You shouldn't.
"Ayeeeee! Mr. Kim!" Taehyung's ass yells with Ryujin cheering in the back. He does nothing but flash that smile of his while chuckling. His friends are all really handsome as well, one especially caught your eye with the way his wavy black hair fell down his eyes as he stood against the bar in black ripped jeans and a button up shirt. He seemed to be the youngest out of the group, but you were just assuming.
"Let's take a shot! On me!" Ryujin yells as she runs over with her loud ass. You follow behind her with Taehyung and Jimin, slightly hiding behind Jimin since you were feeling a little shy and awkward at this encounter. The events of the past days just flashed before your eyes, and you can feel Jin's eyes burning holes through you from your peripherals.
"These are your students?" You overhear as one of them looks behind at Jin and laughs.
"Yup." Is all he says, hands deep into his pockets.
"That's her isn't it?" Namjoon says in his ear, loud enough to make sure its clear over the music blasting. Jin simply looks at him without saying a word before returning his attention back on Jungkook, who he noticed was eyeing you. The look said everything to Namjoon.
"Do you know her?" Jungkook points at you and Jin nods.
"Why?"
"Why? She's gorgeous." His eyes light up, causing Namjoon to slightly choke and laugh behind Jin.
"Go for it." Is all Jin says. He's honestly livid right now, because the thought of someone else being able to get a taste of you while he hasn't fucks him up.
"Ohhh, boy." Namjoon sighs. "I hope you're truly over her or else it's going to get really fucked up, you know that right?"
"Don't worry about it." He says, dismissing him as he takes the shot from Yoongi's hand and immediately downs it.
"Hey." The black-haired cutie that caught your eye pushed his way through the group to come into full view. "I'm Jungkook."
"Y/N." You lightly shake his hand before tucking a strand behind your ear.
"I just wanted to say that you're absolutely gorgeous." He says cutely, his hands tucked into his pockets.
"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."
"I, uh—"
"It's his 23rd birthday today!" One of the guys against the bar yells, grabbing Jungkook's shoulders and playfully massaging it.
"Yeah, it's his birthday Y/N! Give the boy some love!" Ryujin winked from where she was at.
"Happy Birthday." You chuckled as he nods.
"Thanks. Maybeeeee you can bless me with a dance after this shot?" He asked shyly. Boy, was he fucking attractive. You could see his thighs poking through the rips of his jeans, his sharp collarbone poking out from the unbuttoned portion of his shirt and his arm muscles defined even in the dark.
"Yeah, I'd love to." You leaned back against the bar as he stood next to you, waiting for the round of shots to come. "Are these your friends?" He chuckled.
"More like big brothers? That's Yoongi, that's Hoseok and that's Namjoon. They're Jin's friends. Jin is my stepbrother." You swallowed the lump in your throat as you quickly glance at Jin, who's side-eyeing you as he leans against the bar. You have got to be fucking kidding me. God was truly testing you.
"Ohhhh." You respond. "That's sweet of them to take you out."
"I honestly didn't wanna do much, let alone come to the club. It's not really my thing, but I'm glad I did or else I wouldn't have met you." He smiled, his smile being just as perfect as his stepbrother's.
"I'm glad I could make your birthday a good one after all." Ryujin suddenly comes to your side and gives your arm a good squeeze.
"He's a cutie! You better hop on that since Mr.Kim is taken." She says in your ear, pulling you into a hug.
"That's his stepbrother."
"Even better!" She exclaims, making you shake your head. You all gather and take the last round of shots in honor of Jungkook's birthday and shit gets wild, quick. Your group led them to the dance floor, partying together like you had known them since forever. It didn't feel awkward at all knowing it was Jin and group of friends, but it did get awkward when you felt the tension with Jin every time you were near him. He didn't like seeing you dance all up on his stepbrother, getting all handsy and touchy-feely when just the other night, you were straddling his lap, ready to risk it all.
Hell, what was he gonna do though? He couldn't do shit. Not with his people around, especially Namjoon.
You knew this. He didn't have to say anything for you to know he wasn't a fan of it. You'd catch him looking at you throughout the night, his eyes hungry and almost dark. Let's get this straight - there's no bad blood here. You're not mad or bitter [slightly]. You're just having your fun because you're single and can do whatever the fuck you want. You know he wants you, what's wrong with a little tease?
A couple of songs have passed and Ryujin has made her way through Taehyung, Yoongi and Namjoon, and now she was back to doing her own thing on the dance floor. Jimin has had a couple of ladies welcome themselves onto his lap, and he gladly accepted. You loved seeing Jimin have fun and you especially loved when girls swooned at the sight of him because he was deserving of it and he was mighty good looking. He always worked hard and never gave himself a break.
You, on the other hand, had been stuck to the hip with Jungkook and you had brought him deeper into the dance floor, away from the group just to get a little alone time. You had danced up on him majority of the night, his muscular arms always gently bringing you back against his body. You both were feeling some type of way with the alcohol running through your veins, but you weren't complaining one bit. Alcohol or not, Jungkook was fine.
"So, are you going to let me take you out on a date?" Jungkook asks in your ear, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.
"I'd love to go out on a date with you." You face him, his smile going from ear to ear as he nods and starts taking down your number. To be honest, you could be here all night with him, but you decided you needed a break from all this dancing and from the crowded dance floor. You quickly excuse yourself to the bathroom, suddenly needing to break the seal really badly and freshen up. As you were exiting the bathroom, Jin was also exiting the men's bathroom at the same time. You both locked eyes, with you breaking the contact with a small, toothless smile before walking off.
"Y/N." He says, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him. His body is against the back wall, both of your groups distant and not as visible from where you're standing. He looks down at you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.
"Jin."
"You haven't said one word to me all night."
"I'm trying to keep my distance from you, remember?"
"You know that's not necessary." His hand was now on the small of your back, fingers gently caressing your back in small circles.
"It is. You know what you do to me." You say as you look down at his lips. Truthfully.
"And so do you." You can feel his breath against your skin and it sends goosebumps down your entire body. You're trying your hardest right now to not get turned on by this man, let alone throw yourself onto him. "This isn't fair, you know?"
"I gotta get back to everyone." You say, slightly pulling back.
"Just for the record," He gently pulls you back, his other hand lifting your chin. "Jungkook might have you right now, but I know in the end you'll be coming home to me and that's all that matters." He lets go of your wrist and walks away, leaving you slightly dumbfounded at the way he stood his ground like that. Your panties felt soaked, and you wanted nothing more but to ride this man into the next dimension. He was truly testing you, and quite frankly, you could burst any minute now.
"You okay?" Jimin says, lightly squeezing your arm. "You were gone for awhile."
"Yeah, long line." You lied.
"We're thinking about heading out, you good with that?" You nod silently. You look around to see Ryujin flirting with Yoongi and Namjoon, making you shoot him a look. "Not me, all you. Go get her." He shakes his head, chuckling.
"Alright, I need to say bye to Jungkook anyways."
"Oooh, Jungkook." He wiggles his eyebrows. You make your way over to the area that Jin and his friends are occupying, prying Ryujin's drunk ass away. You give Jungkook a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, letting him know you'd be waiting for his text.
Finally, you all headed out of the club and into Jimin's car, Ryujin being the first drop off of the night. Thank God he had decided to drive, because all three of you were still pretty tipsy and in no condition to get behind the wheel.
"Y/N, listen to me. You need to hop on Jungkook because he's fine as fuck!" Ryujin's drunk ass yells in the backseat as Jimin is making his way to her house.
"Ouch, Ry, stop kicking my chair." Jimin whines.
"Y/N, did you hear me?"
"I hear you loud and clear, Ry. Thank you." You laugh.
"And you, Jimin! I hope you grabbed a ton of numbers because there were tons of pretty ladies feeling you tonight and you need a girl!"
"Perfect, thank you for pointing out how single I am." He says, making Taehyung snorts.
"What about me?"
"Shut up, Tae. You don't need shit. Mind your own business." You and Jimin laugh in your seats.
"Also, Mr. Kim was really eyeing the hell out of you tonight, Y/N." She adds, making you sigh silently to yourself.
"Actually, I concur." Jimin chimes in. "He couldn't keep his eyes off of you."
"Mistress Y/N." Taehyung calls out, causing you to turn and pinch him on the leg. If you haven't gotten it by now, Tae loves to tease the fuck out of you by calling you a mistress. It's been his thing since you got all googly-eyed for him. And you hated it. You truly wanted to fight him every single time.
"It was nothing. He was probably just drunk."
"Sure." Jimin responds. "Call it what you want, he was definitely feeling you tonight." The ride goes silent, which, you're happy that none of them are pressing on it. You were not trying to get caught up at this moment.
Ryujin gets dropped off before Jimin makes his way to your apartment, parking in the yellow passenger/loading zone. Taehyung is knocked out in the back seat, while Jimin throws his hazards on and walks you to the front door of the lobby.
"Thanks for driving, Chim." He smiles and pulls you into a hug.
"No prob. Call me if you need me?" You nod. You walk in and get into the elevator, Jimin and his car disappearing in sight. You take a deep breath and sigh because you had been having an internal battle since the moment you stepped out of the club.
You were losing.
You stepped out of the elevator, only to step into your apartment to quickly freshen up and throw on comfier clothes. You find yourself heading back downstairs to meet your Uber. You knew exactly where you were going and you knew exactly what you were doing.
But you didn't give a fuck. You had been dying to get your needs fulfilled and the only person you wanted was a quick 25 minute Uber trip away.
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skullstarz · 3 years
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the chaotic shinsou siblings
-> shinsou hitoshi and sibling!reader
i got this idea after trying to write smth about aizawa's niece/nephew moving in with him and decided i enjoy the chaotic energy of a tired hitoshi and a gremlin sibling more so have my self indulgent shit fest LOL
warnings: slight weed mentions, language, etc. also there's shinsou x kaminari in here we ship that in this household ok? also slight sero x reader hes hot sexy
word count: 566 words.
alternative title: HITOSHI IS TIRED OF U PLS
check out my masterlist for more of my works!!
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the toothbrush accident
“oh shit-” “what did you do toshi?” you called out, instantly suspicious of your brother. you two were both in the bathroom, shinsou having a habit of barging in the bathroom whenever he wants, regardless of whether or not you were in the shower. “i uh. i may have dropped your toothbrush in the toilet-” “HOW THE FU-”
now shinsou’s at the store, you hollering at him through the phone about how not only does he owe you the trip to the store but also ice cream- for no reason. “what color do you want, bitch?” you squinted. “i dont want a color, whore, i want a peppa pig toothbrush”
he got you a plain one. bitch.
catching him making out
you knew someone came to visit him, having heard the front door open and close, and then loud laughing 20 minutes later. finally deciding you’ve let them have enough time without interruption, you got up to be the food rat you are and get some snacks.
oops. there you were, mid tiptoe, eyes stuck on him and- “mf is that a human pikachu?” the two stop basically EATING each other’s faces “Y/N GET OUT” “THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM. ITS A COMMON AREA. NOT A SEXY TIME AREA. I NEED TO FEAST” “hi! im kaminari denki!”
eat face time turned into denki and y/n bonding time. shinsou not happy.
shinsou’s grudge
“NO, YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE REMOTE” “PLEASE TOSHI PLEAAAAAASE” “NO.” your brother was currently holding the remote too far up for you to reach it “DUDE FUCK OFF JUST GIVE ME THE REMOTE” “thats what you get for being a short BITCH” you gasp, continuing to yell “toshi you are NOT an ally if you dont give me the remote!” “you caught me making out with a DUDE the other day, what do you mean im not an ally?!” you snort at his words.
“omg i forgot about that yeah but the way you were kissing him was like a hate crime!” the expression on his face was priceless as he tries to smack you “fuck YOU” “actually i think you wanna fuck denki, but okay” “STOP”
kitchen goblin
thunk. “oh fuck jsjexkaiq” shinsou cackled, hearing you verbally keyboard smash. making his way over to the kitchen, he found you on the floor, chip bags and snack boxes littered all over you and the floor. he pointed at you and snickered before you punched the air “hitoshi fuck oFFFFF” “missed, turd.”
“what were you even doing in the kitchen?” “what does it look like, purple fuck?” he scoffed “being a kitchen goblin” you sat up, punching his shin “MOTHERFUCK-” “ITS 2 AM IN THE MORNING WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING UP?!”
“nothing! sorry dad(zawa)...” you two say in unison.
da plug sero hanta
“who do you get your papers from shawty” you barge into shinsou's room, staring at him expectantly. “sero hanta, he’s denki’s friend” “oooo… give me his number” shinsou glared at you, about ready to slam his door in your face. “why…” “i literally just said- i- FOR PAPERS MF” “OH”
later shinsou found you, giggling at your phone in the living room. sneaking up on you, he snatched your phone and gasped at the messages “WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE FUCKING PLUG? Y/N?” “CAUSE I CAN, AND I WANT TO”
"JESUS CHRIST Y/N"
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glameowr · 2 years
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I'll bite. What's the deal with Clint from Stardew? I wanna hear this rant
oh god okay this is gonna be long im sososo sorry. also most of it is points i got from the youtuber leapalot that i agree with
most of why i dont like clint comes down 2 his weird obsession with emily …
- clint stays at the saloon until 12:00 on most days. i dont think its bc hes an alcoholic like pam but i think its bc hes watching emily the whole time (emily works at the saloon until 12:30)
- at the festival of ice hes making a snowman and says “emily started helping me without any provocation … does that mean something? *gulp*” then emily says something like “wow this snowman needs a serious makeover … who made this?” which is just really funny 2 me
- during clints 3 heart event he says: “im a nice guy if you get 2 know me i swear!” ok classic incel line … after you give him advice on how 2 treat women he tries and fails 2 ask out emily and says “sigh im doomed” … youre DOOMED bc you cant ask out emily ??? this might be a reach but i dont think he should put his whole future happiness in the hands of 1 person
- clints 6 heart event: HES WATCHING EMILY FROM THE BUSHES. COOL WOW. hes waiting 4 emily 2 stop talking 2 caroline, but you convince him 2 go ask her out by threatening 2 stop upgrading your tools, so he does ask her out (but she obviously still thinks of him as a friend)
- emilys 8 heart event: so during this event emily is doing a clothing therapy thing at the mayors house (id loveee 2 rant abt mayor lewis also) when clint comes out in his outfit he chose she says “awww cute” and he doesnt like that (ig he wanted 2 be called sexy or something idk) so then emily expresses her romantic interest in you, then clint comes back in the house like “ahhh im 2 embarrassed 2 wear this outfit”. then, he sees you and emily and says “congrats *player name*” so he doesnt congratulate emily … ??? he really doesnt think of her as a friend in the slightest if he isnt happy 4 her or cares about her happiness if it doesnt have 2 do with him. its like he thinks of her as a prize 2 be won or something …
- at 8+ hearts with emily, she can say “i think clints mad at me, he doesnt look at me anymore … i always thought we were friends” so he just ignores her when he realizes she will never like him romantically ??? jesus christ dude
heres some stuff that doesnt have 2 do with emily:
- hes just generally gloomy and not fun 2 talk 2. like im sorry your family made you eb a blacksmith but its not really fun hearing you constantly complain abt how boring your life is
- at ginger island he can say “oh no … i forgot 2 clip my toenails” wow gross thanks clint
- at the dance of the moonlight jellies he says something like “i wore my special shoes tonight and no body noticed” nobody cares about your special shoes clint we’re all here 2 see the beautiful natural event that happens once a year sorry and also you dont talk 2 any body and have no friends besides emily and the farmer so who would notice anyway
- um ok so something that is kinda creepy is if you buy the telephone and call clint 2 ask when hes open something he can say is “hello? oh … *player name* … your voice sounds really nice over the phone …” then after telling you when he closes he SLAMS down the phone, probably embarrassed over what he said
- (THIS NEXT THING ONLY HAPPENS IF YOURE A GIRL FARMER BTW) so if you invite him 2 the movie theatre, in the lobby he said “oh .. a … are we on a date then?” NO ??? then during the movie he drinks from his flask so he gets drunk and he says “*whispers* … if youre um … tired … you can put your head on my … my shoulder. heh … or not!” NO THANKS IM GOOD. then after the movie he says “hey … that was kind of fun … right?” no not really. and if youre a male farmer he just complains the whole time and says the movie was alright.
tldr: clint is a gloomy, creepy incel with no friends who acts like emily is some prize that is the key 2 his happiness and completely ignores her and plays the victim card when she doesnt like him romantically. i can understand if he has social anxiety, especially since his family pushed him 2 be a blacksmith but i dont think its an excuse 4 how he treats women.
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pesterloglog · 2 months
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Jake English, Jane Crocker, Dirk Strider, Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde-Harley
Page 240-247
JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?
JANE: In a word: awfully.
JAKE: Ah.
JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.
JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture.
DIRK: Jesus christ.
JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence.
JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead?
JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?
JAKE: Um...
JAKE: Could i have that once more, sans the raci--
JAKE: I mean,
JAKE: In laymans terms?
JANE: Sigh.
JANE: Jake,
JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts.
JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless.
JAKE: Im not sure i understand.
JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
JANE: This is politics, Jakey.
JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get.
JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.
JANE: Work to which I need to return this instant.
JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.
JAKE: Right you are.
JAKE: ...
JAKE: I um... brought you some coffee?
JAKE: Ill just... put it down... here...
JAKE: ...
DIRK: Dude, the bowl.
JAKE: Hm?
JAKE: Oh, right.
JANE: What is it now, Jake.
JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well.
JANE: You mean the prisoner.
JAKE: Y...es.
JANE: Well, go on then.
JANE: She's over in the corner.
JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite.
JANE: I've seen to that already.
JAKE: Here you are.
JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry.
JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha.
JAKE: ...
JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese?
JAKE: ...
JAKE: Well,
JAKE: Bon appetit.
DIRK: Bon appetit.
DIRK: Seriously dude?
JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?)
DIRK: Jake.
DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl.
JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)
JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)
DIRK: All I'm saying is that this is full-blown, bona fide evil minion behavior you're getting up to.
JAKE: (Well whose confounded idea was it for me to come back in the first place, brain ghost dirk?)
JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.)
JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)
DIRK: Patience, Jake.
DIRK: Rome didn't fall in a day.
DIRK: Besides, are we really going to hash this out now, in front of dear, sweet Yiffany?
JAKE: (No, i guess youre right.)
JANE: What are you mumbling about over there?
JAKE: Ah, nothing dearest!
DIRK: "Dearest."
JAKE: (Oh shut up!!!)
JANE: If you're finished, I'd appreciate being left to my work.
JAKE: ... Of course, dearest.
JAKE: Good night.
JANE: ...
JANE: !!!
JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.
YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR...
JANE: Oh no you don't.
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