#sparrow!ben fluff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spencerrxids · 2 years

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memories

pairing : sparrow!ben hargreeves x fem!reader, past!umbrella!ben hargreeves x fem!reader

genre : angst, heartwarming, hurt-comfort

warning : prepare your tissue if you’re attached to umbrella!ben ig

summary : in which she found glimpse of them together through his eyes—the man that wore the face of the love of her life

wordcount : 3k

a/n : inspired by the song glimpse of us by joji. and i am aware that there are a lot of stories especially these days. If there are resemblance between this story with others then that is completely out of my control. great minds thinks alike after all. requested by @torchioethan i’ll try my best to interpreted the song to their relationship. the story is up to your interpretation by the way. on my remus lupin angst i wrote “some endings are meant to he interpreted differently.” also do you think this is ooc for sparrow!ben? cause this is what i think he’ll act like in this situation. also i put some addie larue reference in this iykyk

masterlist

Have you ever lost someone and then you just feel like you see that someone everywhere? Every place, every street, everyone, reminds you of the memories you hold dearly close to your heart no matter how hurt it is to remember for you refuse to ever forget about it. It hurts so much it does, but that’s the price you have to pay.

The first time she saw him again after going back from the 60s with the dysfunctional bunch of siblings, she thought she was dreaming. Perhaps, it’ll be easier if it were just a dream. Cause now she has to look at the face—at the body of someone who once had loved her and found nothing. A stranger with the face of the love of her life.

Same name. Same face. Different memories.

But does it all even matter now? The world is ending in hours. She could meet her Ben again, that only if he really does exist. She has never been the one to fully understand the concept of time and Five doesn’t speak in a language that she is capable of understanding.

She raised her glass of champagne in Luther’s direction as he danced with his newfound love before averting her gaze to take a look around the room. Diego and Lila being in each other's arms. Klaus being Klaus. Five who seem to be enjoying his time with the number of empty glasses on his table. And lastly, him. Sitting on the table far back from everybody else, drinking quietly as his eyes, too, roamed around the room. Even from a distance between the two, she could tell that he was judging all of them silently.

Slowly she rose and walked toward him with her glass wrapped around her fingers. Once she arrived at the spot, she gestured to the seat next to him. “May I?” Without hearing any response from him, she sat herself on the seat, putting her glass on the table. “The party is over there yet you distance yourself from the others, emo boy.”

He rolled his eyes at the nickname she gave him. “If anyone here is emo that would be your brother. All brooding, laying down alone in my room, wearing nothing but black.” He looked over at Viktor and she followed his line of gaze. “First, Viktor isn’t emo, and second, you just prove my point here.” She gestured to his situation right now. “You just described yourself.”

The look in his eyes was nothing like her Ben as he glared at her, glass tightly wrapped around his fingers. “Look, if you’re going here just to brag about your oh-so-perfect Ben. The others had took their chance every time they passed me so don’t even bother.” He leaned forwards to her—trying to somewhat looking intimidating as she looks at him, totally unfazed by it.

“No.” She leaned closer to him as he leaned back, clicking her glass with his. “That is a too sensitive topic for me to talk about. Actually, I was trying to give you some company.”

“Well, I don’t need your company.” He talked back.

She leaned her back on the seat. “Too bad. I’m already comfortable sitting here.”

“Then I’ll just go away from here.” He got up, looking at her irritatingly, clearly annoyed by her presence. Turning around he began to walked away from the girl that has been haunting his mind, but then she said something that made him stop. “You know you don’t want to, Ben. You wished to stay here. You want someone to tell you to stay. So here I am doing you a favor by saying this.”

Walking back towards her, he pointed his finger right in front of her face, a look of exasperation plastered on his face. “You stay out of my head. Don’t even try to use it on me.” He said. “You think you know me. You know nothing about me. Nothing. I don’t need your company and I most certainly don’t need your pity. I don’t need you.”

Her gaze softened at his words, his last words may hurt a part of her but it was nothing she hadn’t heard before. “I don’t need my powers to know what you’re thinking, Ben. Besides, it never works on you. Not on you. Not on any version of you, I suppose.” She looks back to her glass, avoiding his gaze before feeling him walking away from her.

***

Looking at Luther and Sloane, she offered them a large smile. “I’m happy for the both of you. Wish we could have more time to know each other, Sloane.” She said, eyes falling onto the girl that is wrapped around Luther’s arms before looking back at the sky that is torn apart every second that passed. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. I know I would do the same.” She could feel Luther’s eyes on her as she said that. “Cherish the time you have left together, okay?” That were the last words she uttered before she went back inside the building, leaving the newlywed to have their moments alone.

What she didn’t know was the fact that Ben was listening to her words as he finally succeed to get rid of Klaus’s presence. He was about to grab another drink when he heard her saying that. Spending time with their loved ones. What is left of his family are only Sloane and Reginald. One who is currently with the man of her life. The other one probably conspiring something against someone. Sloane, his sister, what left of his bunch of adoptive siblings, sure there’s a part of him that cares for her although he won’t admit it out loud. On the other side, Reginald doesn’t deserve any love from anyone in the building. An ounce of him may won’t stop trying to prove himself to the guy but he’s sure that there is no love that he holds for the old man.

Before the girl who just entered the building could fully walk passed him, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She looked at him expectedly, a look of nostalgia flashed for a second. Perhaps it’s the alcohol talking, but the words come out of his mouth without permission at all. “Want a drink?”

She let her hand out of his grasp, raising one of her eyebrows. “Did Klaus really manage to talk some sense into you? Or is it the alcohol talking?” She paused before answering the real question. “The answer’s yes by the way. But not here. Let’s go somewhere else.”

***

“A windowsill?”

“A quite spacious one, yeah.” She put herself in a comfortable position before patting the space in front of her. “Come on. There’s still much room left here.” Rolling his eyes slightly, he sighed before sitting in front of her. Both of them facing each other, on the windowsill as the world out there is falling apart. Her gaze stayed on him as he sat there trying to search for a comfortable position. A nostalgic smile went onto her face. Happiness and sadness all become one as a glimpse of her Ben took over his position for some split second.

A memory from her past.

“Out of every place in this goddamn hotel, you-“ He began to complain.

“Hey, the world is falling apart. Be grateful for a few seconds.” She looked out the window. “Ben would’ve loved this.” She muttered loud enough for him to hear.

“I am Ben.”

“Well, not you. I mean Ben Ben.”

“The other Ben?”

“No. You’re the—Can you just drink it already and try to not be an asshole?” She almost forced the alcohol down his throat if it weren’t for him who already doing that as she spoke before. She looked at him before averting her attention to her glass, muttering under her breath. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

“Not really. No.” His response caught her off guard as she wasn’t expecting him to even hear her. She pursed her lips, before taking a sip from her glass. “So you do need some company. Is this your attempt to not be alone at the end of the world? Was it because of the speech I gave earlier?” She put it down and then propped her chin on the top of her knee.

This time, he is the one that avoids her gaze, looking at the falling word around them from the window. “I thought you said it didn’t work on me.”

“Just because my powers don’t work on you. Doesn’t mean I’m an idiot who cannot connect the two dots together, emo boy.” She said.

He looks down for a few moments before looking back at her, an uncharacteristic look on his face. “Guess that—guess that makes me a special emo boy or what?” This time he didn’t complain about the nickname. Instead, he said the words that brings a smile to her face. She nodded slowly before leaning back to the window frame and with teary eyes she lets out a chuckle. “What?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

“You’re making it difficult for me to not cry. You see, you’re not supposed to say that. Not with that face.” She paused, taking a deep breath trying to not let the tears out just yet. “Gosh, you don’t just look like him or sound like him. Now, you talked like him. I suppose my prayers are granted in a way. I see you again now. Breathing and alive. Just not—just not the you that I need. It hurts looking into your eyes when all I see is him and yet there is no trace of him in this falling world.”

“What was he like?” His gaze stayed on her, less tense than usual. “Truly. What was he like?” He asked once more.

“What did the others say?” She asked back.

Hesitantly, he answered her question. “He was……kind. Selfless. A tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day. A know-it-all. A scold. Most of them-Most of them are bad qualities.” He furrowed his eyebrows together and seems to be frustrated not being able to decipher why the other Ben was so special compared to him. “I’m the Number One. Numero Uno. He wasn’t, was he? All of those praises about him, look how he ended up 6 feet under.”

Brushing over his last comment, she nodded her head. “Well all of them are true. He was a great guy, wasn’t he? One of the best that I ever knew.” Her eyes trailed over the window. “I first met them all when I was around the age of 8 or 9. He was hiding behind Klaus or Number 4 at that moment. He was never been the one to love the public attention but somehow tried to gain mine. I suppose that makes him sweet. After his death, none of us have been the same. All of us were drowning in a sense, well we all have been drowning for a long time. But since that happened, none of us could ever reach the shore.” Her chest got heavy just from thinking of that feeling.

“Where are you now?” He inched closer towards her.

She pursed her lips before letting out a deep breath. “Just floating around, I guess? Not drowning but not completely free either.” She thought about her last interaction with Ben. “Perhaps this is it. With the world ending, I’m getting closer to my final destination.”

Looking back at him, she continued her words. “Ben. He was-He was easier to love out of everyone in that room earlier, out of all the people I’ve known in my whole life. And mind you remember this, I love all of them greatly—well not all of them,” She referred to Reginald. “We all have a fair share of memories together, mostly in our youthful days that are full of trauma created by your daddy dearest—even I had some of mine too and I’m not even a Hargreeves.” Both of them chuckled at her words.

“Very much relatable that last bit. Klaus said a similar thing earlier. About how he was easier to love.” Ben inched closer once more, perhaps this is the alcohol talking, but seeing him open up his feelings to her like this makes her pay no mind to the fact that by tomorrow he’ll probably change into hard-shell Ben again. “That doesn’t seem fair. All of you love him like that yet none can do the same for me.”

Biting back a snarky remark, she decided to say something else instead. “One thing about him is that he makes love seem to be a casual thing to feel, I mean it is, truthfully it is but not many people have the opportunity to realize that.” She wiped a single tear away. “There are a lot of things to pay for when it comes to love. To any kind of love. Meeting you is one of those. The price I have to pay for this moment is not a kind one.”

He nodded quietly before looking back directly into her eyes. “I’m not him, you know?”

She chuckled at his words. “Of course, you’re not. I’ve said that already. If yes then I won’t be just sitting in front of you right now.” I would hold you and never let go like you had wished once before your last moments. The last part remained in her mind. Glimpses of them together flowed around the two, yet she was the only one to remember. “It is a lonely thing, isn’t it? To remember when the other person doesn’t.”

“What if……the other person does?” Her head snapped back towards him as he said so. Letting out a shuddered breath, she opened her mouth to ask what he means by that but she wasn’t able to find her voice at all. Then he continued his words. “You know what sucks, you have all of these memories with your Ben and I-” He took a glance at the sky before looking back at her. “And the only recollection I have about you is the one I had in my dreams. The one that I forgot the moment that I woke up. The one I wished to remember because there’s this feeling that I can’t understand every time I am in that dream.”

“You said all you see when you look into my eyes are him. Yet when I see into yours all I see is you. No other version you. Just you you cause you’re the same one from my dreams. The dreams that left only glimpses in my memory. But then even in those dreams, you were with him, I suppose. That happy feeling was his feelings, it was never mine, to begin with. All this time I was dreaming of someone else’s memories.” Tears stream down her face as she takes in the look in his eyes, the same look he used to give her.

This Ben would never be her Ben. He was already gone from her world. Leaving nothing but the memories that remain in her heart. Nothing but the feeling that she would always feel till the moment she passed. Meeting this Ben had brought heavy feelings to her heart. Makes her yearn to see a glimpse of him in his eyes. And when she found what she was looking for, hurt was all she found. “I’m sorry, Ben.”

He smiled bitterly. “Out of everyone, I thought you hated me the most.” He said. Recalling her avoiding him at all cost during their first interactions when the Umbrella first comes back to the timeline. The look in her eyes when she first laid her gaze on him was one that he will not forget.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “That is an ability that I am not capable of. I cannot afford that. I don’t think I could even if I tried. You’re too much like him. Any version of you they all-well, I’ve only met two of you but you’re much more alike than I thought you do. Your feelings. The way both of you feel, I found it beautiful.”

A comfortable silence engulfed both of them as the two leaned back to the window frame simultaneously. The world is still falling around them. Slowly fading away from reality. Most people are already gone, reuniting with their loved ones on the other side.

“You were right.” His voice makes her look back at him. He offered the palm of his hand to her, so she made up a scissor using her point and middle finger. “I won.” She said with a large smile on her face.

Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re so childish. I couldn’t see why he loved you so much.” He said, clearly lying.

She crossed her arms. “Oh, the alcohol finally worn out? I was enjoying the non-asshole you.”

“Oh shut up.” He hushed her.

“What was I right about?” She waited for his response.

He met her eyes once more. She could tell that he was hesitant about it. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. Any kind of love.” Her eyes stayed locked with him as she reached for his palm once more, a warm smile on her face.

“Any kind of love.” She replied back.

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#ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #ben hargreeves angst #ben hargreeves fluff #the sparrow academy #sparrow ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy imagine #angst #heartwarming #song inspired #glimpse of us #tua #joji #sparrow ben x reader

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itstheghostofmypast · 2 years

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*Klaus spins Diego's knife*

Klaus: Truth or dare?

Five: Truth.

Klaus: Do you like Y/N?

Five: Dare.

Klaus: I dare you to kiss Y/N-

Five: WE'RE LITERALLY MARRIED.

Y/N: Then what's holding you back, bub?

*Everyone at the Umbrella/Sparrow meeting about the Kugelblitz staring at the three*

Luther: Please don't embarass us- just once guys. PLEASE.

#fluff #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five x reader #tua x reader #five hargreaves x reader #five x y/n #vanya #allison hargreeves #tua incorrect quotes #tua s3 #sparrow academy #sloane hargreeves #christopher hargreeves

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asteriismos · 2 years

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lovers & liars - ben hargreeves (closer part two)

PAIRING ◆ sparrow!ben hargreeves x umbrella!reader

WARNING(S) ◆ SMUT, DIRTY TALK, unedited, piv sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving), my writing.......

SUMMARY ◆ a part two of closer.

WORDS ◆ 4.9k

NOTE ◆ the people have spoken.

You woke up early in order to get out of the shower, because there was no way that you were going to even attempt to show your face in The Sparrow Academy looking the way that Ben left you last night. When you woke up, you almost thought that you dreamt of the whole thing and it hadn’t actually happened, but when you got into the warm shower and studied your body, you knew that you hadn’t been dreaming at all. What happened last night really happened, and now you weren’t even sure what to do with yourself.

You were supposed to hate Ben. He was the enemy and he was an arrogant asshole that didn’t think about anyone but himself. But when you closed your eyes all you could think about was his hands on your body, reaching for your throat and squeezing, and then pushing your legs apart in order for him to push himself - No. You needed to get your act together and finish your shower. Rinsing off the sweat and whatever remnants he had left on your body as night off, you got out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around you, wringing out your hair and taking a moment to look in the mirror once again in order to think of an idea on how to hide the marks that were high up enough to where you couldn’t hide it with a turtleneck. You knew that there was one in the closet of the room that they had given you while you were held hostage.

The steam from the shower seemed to lighten them a little bit, and it was harder to see his handprints. But they were still there, almost as if they were messages from him that he had been here and there and that wasn’t all that he managed to do with you last night. It was still early and you had yet to hear anyone get up. Rummaging through the cabinets, you were able to find some older looking makeup that matches your skin color fairly enough. You weren’t an expert at covering up bites and marks but you seemed to do a pretty good job, at least enough to where no one would pay much mind. If anything, they looked like similar bruises you had gotten from fighting the Sparrows only a few days ago. You got out of the bathroom and changed into clothing that was tighter fit than your normal clothing, but they seemed to have a niche for it.

Soon enough you could smell breakfast being served, and you finally got the courage to make your way down there. Christopher was there, along with Alphonso, Sloane, and Jayme. Fei and Ben were nowhere to be found and that made you nervous, knowing that they were the only two people who knew of what happened last night. Fei didn’t know that Ben and you had sex, but she definitely knew that you were thinking about Ben more than you should have. Minutes went by and there was still no sign of them and you started to settle, drinking your coffee and helping yourself to the healthy meal that had been prepared by Grace. Sloane was talking about something but you weren’t necessarily listening, especially when finally Ben decided to make an appearance.

He was dressed in a tight dress shirt and those black pants he was always wearing, and his shirt was unbuttoned enough to see the gold chain sported around his neck. You cringed to yourself, rolling your eyes and wishing that you had gotten to mark him up so he wouldn’t be able to wear those dumb shirts for a few days. Ben saw that you were staring and you could’ve sworn you saw a small smirk before he sat down, next to you as always, because why would he dare break up his little tradition now – especially after last night. He remained somewhat quiet, only quipping that you were too slow at passing the fruit bowl and you had half the sense to throw it onto his lap. But you didn’t and instead stayed silent. There was no way that you were going to give him any pleasure by messing with you.

But your plan seemed futile, because Fei turned to face you and asked, “So Y/N, I heard you awake so late last night. What were you up to? We wouldn’t want our favorite hostage plotting an escape so soon.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but was slightly faltering because Ben’s hand came and reached for your thigh under the table. You almost jumped, but composed yourself before doing so and instead glared daggers at him, making direct eye contact as he acted like he was doing nothing. So you turned to his sister, avoiding the fact that Ben’s hand was sliding farther up your thigh, and saying, “No reason. Just couldn’t sleep, that’s all. The city is a lot different than Dallas, I’m not used to it anymore.” It was a good enough cover that for a moment you were almost certain that Fei believed it, but you knew that she was feigning understanding and instead was angry that you were able to dodge the situation. Ben’s hand pulled away and you took a moment to look at him, seeing a slight smirk on his face that he covered up by taking a sip of coffee.

The rest of breakfast was uneventful. Ben didn’t as much look at you let alone even utter a word in your direction, and the rest of the Sparrows went off to begin their day, a lot of them were heading to the rec room to run on the treadmills. That meant that you would be left alone to do nothing, because you didn’t want to train with them, they weren’t your family and they were your captors. So you watched as one by one they left, until it was only you at the table and you finally decided to stand up, walking out of the dining room and into the hallway back to your assigned room. As you were about to turn the corner, you heard two voices talking and quickly realized that it was Ben and Fei.

You halted your movements, pressing your back against the firm wall and slowed your breathing, making sure that you were silent as you listened in on their conversation.

“I heard you.”

“You didn’t hear shit,” Ben countered, his voice laced with the same amount of condescending narcissism you had gotten used to and knew all too well. “Nothing happened after you told me what Y/N was thinking about.”

You sighed to yourself, realizing that Fei was beginning to get even more suspicious. This was the last thing you needed. If they somehow found out . . . It would get to your family and who knows what would happen after that. How were you supposed to explain that you had slept with the enemy? Not only that, but it was Ben, who you thought had been dead for years. It was something that needed to stay a secret. Though by the sound of it, it sounded like Ben was trying his best to cover up what happened.

Fei tutted her mouth. “You act like you’re the leader of this team who doesn’t have a care in the world, you think that you can just parade around in those uptight turtlenecks and everyone will just listen to what you have to say.” You almost wanted to start clapping, Fei was really laying it down on Ben. “But newsflash: No one is going to listen to you if you get caught up in a lie. Now, I don’t care if something happened between the two of you, but her family will. We should send her home.”

“Not until they tell us what happened to Marcus. If you don’t want me to be number one so bad, Fei, then maybe you should be getting information on our brother instead of questioning what I do in my free time,” Ben stated. You heard Fei grumble something that you couldn’t hear and footsteps receding in the opposite direction, which meant that Ben was alone in the hallway. You took that moment to turn the corner finally and come face to face with him, seeing a scowl on his face and his hand clenched up, like he wanted to punch something but there was nothing there for him to hit. “Didn’t anyone tell you that it was bad to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Wasn’t really that hard. It’s a big house but the walls have a tendency to bounce off sound. I should know, I grew up here just like you. Same old house, same old bullshit.” That part was true, there was just something about this house that sometimes made you think that your dad purposely built it as such. There seemed to always be a reason for things like that. “Plus, if you didn’t want me to eavesdrop, then let me go back to my family. I don’t want to be in this house anymore, it’s like I’m a teenager all over again.” This house brought memories of your childhood that you didn’t want to remember, and it didn’t help that yet again you felt trapped.

“You know that I can’t let you go. Not without Marcus.”

“My family wouldn’t take Marcus, we don’t even want to take part in whatever war you’re trying to wage. My brothers and sister have been through too much.”

Whatever you said, Ben wouldn’t believe you. And you knew that if the roles were reversed, you would probably feel the same way. You would do anything to save your family and you knew that Ben, under all of the egotistical qualities he had, felt the same way about his family. It was hard for you to think of him as an actual person because of the way that he carried himself, but the more you stood in the hallway, looking him in the eyes, the longer you began to understand his motives a little better. You still weren’t sure what he tried to gain from sleeping with you . . . Was there even a motive? Or was he giving into his temptations despite you being the enemy? Despite spending his whole life training to not give into his desires?

This was one of the first moments where the two of you weren’t bickering with each other. The only other time was last night, and even then you two were being mean to each other while fucking. It felt nice to finally let go of all that anger and to just be calm with him. You hated to admit that you liked it. Maybe if he was like this more, then maybe he would be more tolerable.

Ben walked towards you, the dark hallway only being illuminated by the light above the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat, allowing him to step further until he was a mere few centimeters away from you. He stood taller than you and inched his head down until you were face to face, close enough to feel his breath on your face, the same way it felt last night. It took everything in you not to press your lips against his own. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, both of you silently wondering who was going to cave in first. His hand came up to grab onto your cheek and you thought that this was it, Ben was really going to kiss you again. Your eyes fluttered closed and he inched closer . . . closer . . . Your heart was pounding in your chest and your mind went blank. All you could think about was him, touching him, feeling him, allowing yourself to give everything just to him. As your lips brushed his own, Ben pulled away, making you open your eyes and open your mouth to say something. But when you opened your eyes, Ben was already halfway across the hallway and turning the corner. You heard his footsteps recede up a flight of stairs and he was gone, leaving you alone to wonder what the hell was going on.

You pressed your back against the wall and sighed.

Ben didn’t show up for the rest of the night. For a moment you saw him at dinner when he requested to have his own sent up to his room. All of this avoidance from him was making you nervous, wondering if there was something that you did wrong to make him angry or upset with you. But there was nothing that you could think of, he had simply changed his mind right before kissing you. It made you curious and also furious, wanting to know why he thought that he had the right to treat you like that. If he didn’t want this to happen, why had he let what happened last night happen? He was playing games and you were through with it.

You left dinner early to confront him, knocking on his door and not giving him the time to answer, instead opening up to his room and closing the door. “What the hell is your issue? First you sleep with me and then once you’re finally getting your way again, you just leave? And now you’re avoiding me,” You stated. “What the hell is wrong with you? I want to go. You’re going to let me go now.”

Ben stood up from his desk. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? First you come here with your pathetic siblings like a fucked up Brady Bunch claiming that this is your house and then fighting us when you won’t leave. And then you stole my brother, our number one. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“We didn’t take your fucking brother. And why do you even care? You’re not even negotiating with my brothers, you’re just keeping me here. I’m not something that you can just keep forever, Ben, I want to be with my family again and never have to deal with you motherfuckers ever again,” You spat. Your words were harsh but you were so angry. “And what the fuck was that in the hallway?”

He gave a small smirk, like your yelling didn’t even phase him. “You’re mad I didn’t kiss you?”

“That’s not what I-”

“It is what you meant. Just admit that you want it to happen again.”

“I don’t,” You said. “It’s you who made the first move.”

“You didn’t push me away or tell me to leave, you wanted me to kiss you so much that you stood there like a dumb idiot minutes after I left. Just admit it.”

Taking a leap, you started, “I did want you to-”

He didn’t hesitate to give you what you wanted, grabbing your face with both of his hands and moving the two of you away from the door, slowly inching you towards the bed and helping you rest on your back, the silk sheets against the back of your arms and neck. Ben was quick to follow, climbing on top of you and connecting his lips onto the skin right below your jaw. His lips were soft like snowflakes falling onto your skin, creating a masterpiece on your skin like you were his canvas. The other marks that were there from the night before seemed to hum, like your body was excited that Ben was finally back. It sent shockwaves to your core, igniting a feeling you felt only the first time that he had kissed you.

Seeing how well your body responded to him, well, almost drove Ben crazy. You were so willing, so ready for him that his mind became cloudy, the only thing he could make out was his thoughts of you. Nothing about the war between your two families, what would happen if someone were to stumble into the room somehow or if someone heard what you two were doing . . . None of it seemed to matter to him, he just wanted you. His lips trailed down from your jaw to your neck, paying extra attention to the places that made you breathe out more than the others. Your hands found their respective place in his hair, feeling the softness of his hair between your fingers.

Your clothes suddenly felt foreign on your body, you wanted them off, you wanted him off so that you could see all of him again. He seemed to hear your thoughts, humming against your skin and pulling away, pressing a hard, firm kiss to your lips and helping you get out of them, and in turn you helped him get out of his. This time was less harsh than the other time but there was still a sense of roughness. You weren’t sure what you wanted from each other the first time, but this time there was more of an understanding. More of a want.

Ben’s body was like nothing you imagined before. Sure, you had seen him without his shirt on and you had seen a part of it last night but the rest was something you weren’t expecting. He was breathtaking . You knew that he had a nice body because of all the training and countless amounts of physical strain he has been through, but looking at those abs that he had, along with the sun kissed skin he had, you felt your throat close up. The thought of him being on top of you again was driving you crazy.

His hands came to your hips, fingers toying with the fabric of your underwear that was the only thing blocking him from seeing you fully. His eyes scanned you, taking in the sheer and utter beauty before him. He wanted to kiss, lick, and nip on every single inch of skin on you. He wanted to learn each and every single curve, hear every story behind your scars, and know just what touches would have you squirming from underneath him.

Your whole body felt hot, needing to feel the release that was beginning to build up from all of his kisses and your imagination running its course. “Ben,” You breathed out, not knowing how to form into words what you wanted from him. Of course he knew, he could see your eyes filled with a lust, thinking of something almost sinful, something he was sure he was emitting himself. He knew exactly what he was going to do to you so that he could hear the plethora of moans that he knew you had just for him, wanting to hear his name come off of your lips in pleasure.

His head ducked down and kissed your hipbone, fingers hooking under your underwear and slowly sliding them off. Your eyes stayed on his actions, mouth forming into an ‘O’ when you realized what he was going to do. He was going to use his mouth on you. These were only things that you thought in your deepest, darkest fantasies, like he had reached into those parts of your mind and did exactly what you wanted.

As if Ben was just tempting you, he pressed another slow kiss to the inside of your thigh and then did the same thing to the other side. Your hips lifted up only slightly, showing him that you couldn’t wait much longer. A chuckle left him, eyes reaching your own and saying, “Eager?” You weren’t even ashamed when you shook your head, keeping eye contact with him as he licked a bold stripe right up your slit. It felt as if an earthquake hit your body, your back arching and hands gripping onto his hair.

He hummed against you, liking the way that you responded to his actions. If he had it his way, he would sit here with you like this for hours on end, bringing you up to that high place again and again until you were a wrecked mess before him. It made him simply go crazy to think that he was the one to hear those moans and profanities that slipped from your cherry kissed lips. Ben’s own thoughts made him groan out, a noise that you played on repeat in your mind as your eyes screwed closed.

Your thighs quivered beside his face, attempting to squeeze shut so that you could keep him there forever. But his hands came and held them in place, fingers digging into your muscles that gave in to his touch like it was nothing. You were putty in his hands, the only movement you had was your hands pulling on his hair and the arch of your back while he lapped his tongue against you with no mercy.

“Stay still,” He told you, pulling away for a moment to lick what was left of you on his lips. You nodded, chest heaving and heart sinking at the loss of contact. But Ben didn’t leave for long, his mouth on your clit accompanied with one of his fingers circling your entrance. You nearly lost it when he dipped his middle finger in experimentally, gauging your reaction. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, which only amplified once his finger pushed into you all the way.

You didn’t even attempt to try and censor the obscenities that came out of your mouth, mixed in rhyme with his name. Ben. Ben. Ben. It was the only word that felt real in your mind.

You waited for that final jump towards a euphoric end, but it never came. Instead Ben pulled away from you and his fingers left, making you feel uneasily empty. Opening your eyes, you saw that he was pulling down his boxers, taking his cock into his hands and watching as you almost became slack jawed.

And with all the courage that you mustered up, you gave him a nod, wanting him shamelessly again. You were sinfully feeling like you were Persephone, cutting up her own slice of pomegranate and looking right into Hades eyes as she tasted the fruit, securing your fate that you would stay with him. You would stay with Ben and keep doing this over and over again. Suddenly you didn’t care what your family thought or what anyone thought, you were sealing your fate with him.

He nestled between your legs and you could feel his tip press against your entrance. Air was caught in your lungs, sitting up on your elbows so that you could see as he eased himself into you. A sting of pain and a subtle feeling of pleasure was seated inside of you, watching as his cock was enveloped inch by inch. Ben hissed at the feeling, you were so goddamn tight and he never wanted to stop from being inside of you. Once all of him was inside, he leaned over so his head was in the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to your searing skin as you adjusted to him bottoming out.

You urged him to continue, thinking that the discomfort would soon go away with time. And you were eager to get all of him that you could, temptation coming forward instead of reason. He pulled out all the way then eased himself back in, continuing the slower pace and watching your reaction before him, your hands reaching to his back and finding their place there. One of his hands kept your legs open, taking you by your thigh and hoisting it up.

It took all that he could muster to not just ram into you, the want starting to cloud his judgment. He wanted to milk every single second of this moment, there wasn’t one thing that he wanted to stop himself from doing. “You feel . . .” He started. “You feel so good.” That alone, along with the raspiness in his voice, made a fire erupt in your stomach. You sighed in response, eyes fluttering closed once again.

And then you whispered, “Go faster, Ben.” You needed him so bad you felt like you were going to explode, lust enveloping the both of you.

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped onto the leg he lifted up, beginning a slightly faster rhythm that had you arching your neck and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Ben was so big, stretching you out in just the right way that had you almost keeling over if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. Your one leg wrapped along his waist, heel digging into his back while his pace increased.

This angle he had you in made you yelp and moan shamelessly, not caring if anyone in the house could hear you as you yelled his name like a prayer. His pace finally became a fast rhythm and you found comfort in being able to finally feel nothing but pleasure with every deep stroke he made.

In this place, it was only you and him. Like you were in your own little place of paradise where you could explore each other in every way. There was nothing that could take this moment from you or him, this moment would forever be engraved in your mind for many years to come, remembering the way that he moaned out your name and the way he looked when you opened your eyes to peek at his face. His brows were furrowed, sweat beading on his forehead and mouth spilled open saying nothing but your name.

He made you feel so good, so euphoric that the fire grew and grew, becoming a wildfire raging inside of you. And you looked so heavenly to him, the way that your eyes only looked at him, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust he gave you. You took him so well, like you were made for only him. His hips brushed against your own, hand coming up to caress your cheek, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

You weren’t going to last much longer. Not with the way that he was pounding into you with sheer force you didn’t know was possible until now. But you didn’t want this to end, you never wanted this to end in fear that things would go back to the way they were before. You would have to try and forget that this ever happened. It wasn’t something you wanted to do and didn’t even know if you had the strength to do it.

You made a guttural noise, teetering over the edge of what felt like a wave of bliss. This was it, there was no way that you could keep yourself from it now. It only took a singular deep stroke of his cock to send you right over the edge, your back arching and body spasming, his name rolling off of your tongue in the most sinful way you have ever said it before. Your hands gripped for any part of him that you could reach, groping his muscles to keep him close to you. He didn’t stop moving inside of you, making you ride it out even harder as he chased his own high.

You were so sensitive as he fucked into you, giving you no mercy. He groaned as you came, watching the way that your eyes screwed shut and mouth opening in as you sucked in harsh breaths. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, wondering if he was going to cum inside of you or pull out before he did. He did the latter, taking one more deep stroke before pulling out. Ben was about to start stroking himself with his hand but you rushed with your own to meet him there, using your own and pumping a few times.

A string of profanities came from his lips as he came, white hot liquid spurting onto your stomach, dripping like beads coating your skin. He had no shame as he shuddered, muscles flexing with every passing second. He drank in your body, seeing how wet you were for him, how soft your hand was on his cock, how much he longed to see you like this more times before you would go back to your family. And soon enough he was finished, the only thing between both of you was both of your panting breaths.

Ben moved to grab something on the floor, realizing that it was the shirt he had on before and moving to wipe your stomach off, dropping it to the floor and coming to lay down next to you. You winced for a moment as you moved to look at him, his own eyes staring at the ceiling. He didn’t push you away or tell you to leave his room. Instead the two of you just laid there with each other, you were listening to his labored breathing finally begin to slow to a normal tempo.

Your mouth opened to say something, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. You jumped and Ben’s hand came to grab onto your arm. “Who is it?” He asked.

“It’s Sloane. Y/N’s brothers are here, they want to talk.”

Your eyes widened. “All of them?” You didn’t even care that she knew you were in there with him, you were sure that the whole house knew at this point.

“Just two. One that keeps asking for coffee and another that keeps playing with his knives.”

Well, this should be fun.

#ben hargreeves headcanons #ben hargreeves fluff #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves smut #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #the sparrow academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves

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yup-thats-me · 2 years

Text

— beautiful secret • justin h min

paring: husband! Justin h min x BuzzFeed producer! wife

summary: it's about time that Justin introduces his wife to the world

warning: fluff

some months ago

"I know, baby. I miss you too. I'll be home in a few hours, and I'll cuddle you as many times as you want," Justin spoke into the phone, a bright smile adorning his lips.

Emmy, David and Ritu standing at a distance, staring at Justin.

Emmy scoffed at his stupidness. "Yeah David, when you talk to your mom you blush bright red like Justin is, right?" She smiled sarcastically, making Ritu snicker.

"Who do you reckon he's talking to?" Ritu whispered.

"Prolly his mom?" David answered or more like questioned.

After Justin put down his phone, the three hoped infront of him like excited kids do when free candies are distributed. Justin looked at them, smiling. "What?"

David nudged Ritu signalling her to begin. "We weren't like spying on you or something but..." She drifted, looking away from him.

Emmy sighed taking over. "We saw you talking in the phone and blushing. So aren't you gonna tell us?" Justin looked genuinely confused. "Tell you what exactly?".

"About your girlfriend man! Don't act shy now", David hit him on the shoulder playfully.

Justin immediately looked down after hearing their question.

"I don't know what you guys are talking about."

Ritu smirked. "Oh you do honey. It's about time we find out your secret."

Justin chuckled getting up from his chair. "You'll find out my secret of there's a secret," he told them walking away leaving the trio standing there looking, staring at his back.

"Just you wait and see Justin," Emmy stated smiling, placing her hands over her chest.

"Yeah you wait and see, dude!" David copied Emmy. Ritu did the same, placing her hands over her chest and saying, "You wait and see Mr. Secretive Korean Guy," making the rest laugh.

•••

Emmy, David and Justin sat there patiently as the crew arranged everything for their interview.

The stars were talking among themselves only Justin sat there quietly fidgeting with the thin golden band on his right pointer finger, smiling at it fondly.

David was sitting beside him and took a notice of Justin's actions. "Whatcha doin'?"

David's question pulled Justin out of his trance and into reality. "Huh? What?" Justin asked confused.

"I asked what you doing. Hey, you alright man? You zone out more frequently than normal. I've noticed from the last few months." David stared at him genuinely worried aboht his friend. " All good at home?"

"Yeah yeah. Everything's fine. All is good," Justin smiled.

Emmy bent forward from her chair and instantly noticed the golden ring.

"What's that ring for? Looks good," she complimented.

Emmy's statement made Justin look back down at his pointer finger and smiled yet again. "It's from...someone...", He drifted, avoiding eye contact with any of the two.

David and Emmy eyed him suspiciously

present day

"Oh it's going to be so hard to pay any attention to the tweets when you'll be standing there infront of me," Justin said as he hugged you tightly.

"Okay okay Mr. Loverman. Now go before anyone sees us," you laughed pushing your husband away from the embrace, making Justin stare at you dramatically.

"I didn't know you hated my hugs!" He gasped.

You giggled pecking him on both the cheeks. "You know that's not what I meant. If our pictures are getting clicked right now, your fans will go batshit crazy as to who the secret woman is. And I don't want you to face any troubles because of me."

Without a word, Justin pulled you in for a sweet kiss, taking as much time as he could to savour this moment.

"My sweet wife," he kissed you once more. "God, I love you, Y/n!"

You smiled brightly. "and me you. Now go!" You finally pushed him away from you and walked the other direction into the studio.

You entered the studio sometime after Justin got in as to not cause any suspicion. You saw Justin sitting beside Emmy and smiled at him sneakily. He too smiled back although not so sneakily cause Emmy looked at him like he was crazy.

You snickered, taking your position behind the camera.

"Hi I'm Emmy Raver-Lampman — and I'm Justin H Min — and we're here with BuzzFeed to answer some thirst tweets." With that, the interview began.

All was going well. Some tweets made you giggle quietly and others made you believe all fans are crazy.

"'I bet Justin H Min's girlfriend is as gorgeous as he is'" Emmy read out. "Yeah I too think that. Although me and the rest of the cast haven't figured who it is, yet, but we'll do pretty soon."

Justin stared at you across the room. "Wait," he got up from his seat and walked towards you.

"Ready?" He whispered in your ear when he reached you. You nodded knowing how this will go.

Justin gently pulled you along him and made you stand there in front of the camera. Emmy stood up too.

"We've been hiding for quite sometime now and I, we, think it's time to finally tell the world," he glanced at you for the last time and when you slightly nodded, he spoke again. "This is Y/n L/n, my darling wife."

The news made the entire studio gasp.

Emmy got out of her trance and immediately hugged you. "Oh my god! I'm so happy for you both!" She jumped with excitement.

The filming resumed again after a break.

After the interview, you, Emmy and Justin went to a nearby café to chat.

"I'm not sure, but have I seen you before, Y/n?" Emmy asked sipping her beverage.

Justin smiled, lacing his hand with yours on the table.

You smiled. "Maybe you've seen me the last time you guys did and interview with BuzzFeed? I'm one of it's producers."

"That's how we met. Now nearly three years ago," Justin brought your hands to his lips and kissed it softly.

Emmy stared at the two of you in awe. "You guys are really cute."

Justin and you smiled, looking at each other.

requests are open <3

#justin h min imagine #justin h min #justin h min x reader #justin h min x you #justin h min x y/n #justin h min fanfic #justin h min fluff #ben hargreeves #sparrow ben #the umbrella academy #number 6 #imagine #fanfic #blurb #emmy raver lampman #david castañeda #ritu arya #buzzfeed

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

Text

Just You and Me, B.H.

Just You and Me

Pairings — Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summary — Ben didn’t know how long he had left to live, he didn’t get to say everything he wanted to tell you.

Warnings — swearing, mild angst towards the end, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — this is my first official post on tumblr! I’m sorry to the ones who wanted the heavy angst but that’s not until part two (if you want a second part). This is a different writing style than what I’m used to, please give any constructive criticism. Y/n’s pronouns are they/them and Klaus’s pronouns are he/they.

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to parties, intoxicating himself with liquor and weed.

Luther and Allison spend too much time together to forget and run away from responsibilities.

Viktor plays violin because he was convinced he was ordinary, powerless, and different from his siblings. This made him question why Reginald had him to begin with.

Diego distracted himself with anything he could. He would go out and look for conflict just so he could end it and save the day. He needed action, he needed something to keep his mind racing so he won't worry about his home and relationship with his father. He needed praise to feel validated, some would say he has and is experiencing some sort of hero syndrome.

Ben? He loved to paint and sketch. He would lock himself in his room for hours just to be alone to create art. There were papers taped to the wall, canvases hung from several of his works.

"I don't understand the craze with glazed donuts. I really don't." Klaus bit into a fresh jelly donut, rolling his eyes back as he savoured the flavour that exploded into his mouth.

The children escaped again.

They snuck out to have donuts and coffee. It was tradition, and somehow they get away with it. Every 12th of the month at 10:00pm they would leave the house and walk to Griddy's Doughnuts.

"Glazed donuts are amazing. They're simple yet sweet," Ben defended his regular order, taking small bites to properly enjoy the donut while he watched Klaus finish his in two bites.

"That's disgusting." Allison laughed, eying her sibling.

"What's wrong with it?" Klaus licked their fingers, downing their cup of coffee all in one. "It's less messy that way."

"No, it isn't!"

Ben began to slowly drown out the sounds of his siblings arguing. His attention made its way across the cafe, his gaze falling upon a teenager who sat alone at a booth. He could've sworn he's seen them before, he could've sworn they met, but at the same time, he knew for a fact that this was his first time laying his eyes on you.

"..Ben? Ben? Earth to Benerrino!" Klaus waved their hand in front of him and he finally snapped out of it when you looked back at him.

"Sorry?" Ben blinked a few times, looking at his sibling as he held his cup of tea in both his hands.

Klaus raised an eyebrow, looking back to see what Ben had been staring at. A smile was brought to his face when he turned back to look at Ben, eyes going wide. "Ben! You think that person is cute, right?"

"Shh! Shh!" Ben clasped a hand over their mouth, glancing over at the teenager to see if they heard.

And sure enough, you did.

"I'm flattered." You said, earning the attention of all six Hargreeves siblings. "Thanks, Ben."

Number Six seemed to stop working for a moment. His eyes widened as he stared at you in shock, face covered with a cherry red hue. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, you— yeah." He smiled and nodded, sipping from his cup as he turned away.

"Bennerino~" Klaus gave his brother a wink, sticking his tongue out as he paid for his snacks.

"Klaus!" Ben whisper-shouted, giving them a death glare as he finished his cup of tea. One after the other, each sibling finished, paid, and walked back home.

Ben couldn't help but spare a glance, looking back at you as he and his siblings exited the shop.

When he looked back at the path in front of him, he caught Klaus's stare in his peripheral vision. He gave them a scoff, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, darting away before Klaus could annoy him with their bickering.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house and attends teenage parties while doping and drinking himself silly.

Allison and Luther spend inordinate amounts of time together letting their responsibilities slip their minds.

Viktor plays the violin because he believes he is unexceptional, weak, and distinct from his siblings. He knows he's different and every day he asks himself why Reginald chose to keep him, or why Reginald even took him in the first place if all Viktor ever got was neglect.

Diego tries to divert his attention from his family life in every way he can. He needs action to keep his mind active. He needs validation to keep going. He needs to be seen as a hero.

Ben creates art.

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn’t leave his mind. He dedicated his free time to a new work of art. The inspiration was you.

His delicate fingers held the piece of charcoal in a gentle, yet firm grip. With every stroke, a distinct mark was left behind. He made each line unique from the one previously. His movements were smooth, not a muscle was tensed.

When he finished, he took a deep breath. The fresh oxygen from his open window filled his lungs before escaping his lips, dusting off the excess charcoal on the page. Ben smiled at his piece, gliding the tip of his index finger along the jawline of the teenager on the paper.

It was you, the one from the cafe.

He looked out the window. He watched as the sun painted the molten sky with various reds and oranges along with dashes of purple and pink. It was a work of art within itself.

He glanced over to the clock on his wall, then back out the window. He carefully rolled the drawing in his hands, stepping outside of the window and using his tentacles to make his way down onto the grass.

He looked behind himself, searching for any sign of life through the windows of the Hargreeves Mansion. When it was clear, he ran out of the gate.

Ben sat at Griddy's Doughnuts, a cup of tea placed in both his hands while a glazed donut sat in front of him on a ceramic plate.

"You're alone?"

Ben snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the owner of the voice.

"Yeah," he responded.

Agnus knew the Hargeeeves siblings would always come in packs, she found it strange how there was only one of them at the counter. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Ben smiled. "Nothing bad, no. Thank you for asking, though." He hadn't remembered the last time someone asked him if he was okay and meant it. The question was simple, but hearing the sincerity behind it was enough to make him smile.

He sat there and waited. The drawing was by the plate, and he began to ponder; he began to overthink. He hadn't talked to you and he already drew you. He didn't have bad intentions, but he didn't want it to come off as creepy. He began to have second thoughts, like he was doing something wrong.

Ben finished up his tea and donut. He grabbed the drawing and placed some coins on the table before leaving the cafe. His head was down, almost ashamed even though he did nothing wrong. He pushed the door open and collided with someone.

He gasped and dropped the piece of paper and watched it fly away in the subtle breeze. Before he got to react, someone grabbed it. He looked at the person and froze.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." You sheepishly smiled. The paper was unrolled you looked at it.

"I am so sorry." Ben bowed down to show respect. "I know it might be creepy but I promise I'm not a creep. I mean no harm, I just- I just thought that you were—"

"Cute?" You recalled what Klaus called you.

Ben stood up straight, looking at you with cherry-stained cheeks. He said nothing, not denying nor confirming the assumption.

"That's what your brother said last week." You scanned the piece of art, a 'wow' falling under your breath before you handed it back. "You're talented. I can't even draw a straight stick figure. I envy you."

"You? You envy... me?"

"Yes."

"You don't think I was being creepy?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Stop overthinking it, Ben." You took a step towards the door of the cafe. "I hope to see you around more often."

Ben stilled as the corners of his lips formed a smile. He nodded, then his expression dropped, watching you walk into the shop. "Wait! What's your—"

"Y/n."

Ben paused, "Y/n?"

"That's my name."

The smile returned to his face, "thank you."

You waved, finally walking through the doors and sitting at his usual spot by the window. You looked at Ben, an instant smile lit up your face when he looked back. You held a hand up and waved, earning a rather excited wave back. You began to wonder if you would ever get a moment with Ben, even if it was just to sit together and have coffee; as friends. "There's nothing wrong with having a glazed donut."

— ( ☂︎ ) —

"See, Klaus? Even Y/n agrees that glazed donuts are amazing." Ben defended his favourite treat, biting out of the freshly glazed donut.

"I said there's nothing wrong with a glazed donut. I didn't say they were amazing." It didn't take long for you to get along with the Hargreeves siblings. Especially when Klaus kept nagging Ben to invite you.

"Ha! Y/n agrees with me!" Klaus slammed his hand against the table.

"Hey, woah, woah. I didn't say that either!" You laughed along with the others, heart filled with joy and happiness. You didn’t remember the last time you hung out with other teenagers and felt like you belonged.

"Guys, we should head out." Allison said, "it's getting late. Ben hurry up, it's two more bites. Today is on me." She pulled her wallet out.

"I can pay for my own. Thank you, though, Allison." You only had a chocolate donut. You were smart enough not to have caffeine pumping in your veins before bed.

"You guys can go out, I'll meet you there." Ben looked at you, then Klaus. Klaus smirked back, to the point where their ears began to lift.

You thought you were included in the 'you guys', so you shuffled around to get your wallet back in your pocket. Ben noticed this and quickly took your wrist.

"Not you." He spoke firmer than he intended, "please." His voice softened as he let go of your wrist, bashfully looking at the bottom of his glass while he took another bite of his donut.

You locked eyes with him, then you fell silent, sitting back down with cheeks tinted pink. “Why me?”

Ben turned away again, it was just his timid nature, this boy can never keep eye contact for too long without freaking out. “I was wondering… maybe on Friday we could meet up again?”

“This Friday? I thought Luther had something important coming up. His personal training with your father? That poor guy is going to overwork himself all day…” you looked out the window to look at the Umbrella Academy’s number one. “So we’re just gonna leave him out? If he finds out he’ll be heartbroken.”

“No, uhm…” Ben tapped the edge of his cup. “I was actually hoping it would be us? Just you and me.”

“Just you and me?” Your eyes seemed to light up the second he spoke. The most foolish smile crawled onto your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” You nodded, “I would love that. Just you and me.”

Ben’s heart beat out of his chest. Oh, he was such a loser in love. He nodded frantically, finishing the rest of his donut quickly. He covered his mouth as he chewed, shy and polite. He then made his way outside.

“Ready?” Allison motioned for the others to follow her as Luther walked by her side, leading the siblings back to the mansion.

“I’ll see you! Friday at noon!” Ben walked with his siblings with a hand in his pocket, the other one waving goodbye.

“Friday! Noon!” You carried through with his energy and waved back. Then you turned on your heel and went home.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“You’re not going to get in trouble, will you?” Your cup of coffee was finished about an hour ago. An hour ago was also when you and Ben agreed to go back home and call it a day. You didn’t even recall how the conversation kept going, but it did.

“I should be fine,” Ben glanced at the clock, then back at his empty plate that once had two donuts on it. His signature glazed donut and your vanilla-sprinkled one. You got a different donut each time you came. “Thank you for coming with me today.” Words couldn’t express his gratitude, “I’m not saying that I don’t like coming here with my siblings, it’s just… good to have a real friend.”

Your heart warmed at his words, “thank you for asking me out, Ben.” You placed a hand atop his. “I really enjoyed spending time together; just you and me.”

“Do you think…” he began, “..we can see each other again? Only if you want to, that is. There’s no shame in rejecting, I don’t want you to feel obliged to say yes or anything—“

“Yes.” You said with confidence, laughing at the way he began to ramble. “I’d love to, Ben.” You gently gripped his hand, “the second date is always better than the first.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, mind empty. All he focused on was the way you hand your hand placed on his. As seconds passed, the words finally registered. “Wait, second date? This— th-this was a date?”

You instantly took your hand away, “that was my impression. I’m so sorry if I assumed wrong. I should’ve asked.” You felt foolish. You felt as though you were making bold assumptions and you read him wrong. Your ego was making the decisions. “That’s embarrassing.” You laughed it off.

“No, no! There’s nothing wrong with this being a date!” Ben grabbed both of your hands, holding them with a delicate grip. “It actually makes all of this ten times better.”

“Really?” A wave of relief washed over you as you emitted a soft sigh. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to spare my feelings. I was getting a bit too ahead of myself.”

“I’m not lying,” he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand. “I mean every word.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Never once has anyone made you feel this weak in the knees. “Thank you, Ben.”

“Just know that I would never lie to you. Ever,” he moved his hand, linking his pinky with yours as if he was a seven-year-old boy. “Promise.”

The gesture was so small, so childish, “alright, then.” But this pinky promise held a special place in your heart. “Promise.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Can we just stay like this?” He sat beside you on top of a building with the city beneath you. “It’s so much better up here.”

“Don’t you have a training session with your father?” You looked at him, “and you can’t miss it because that’s how you’re supposed to spend the rest of your day?”

Ben didn’t return your gaze, he just looked down at his lap with his legs swinging back and forth on the edge, “..yeah.”

“And if you don’t show up, you’ll get in trouble and he’ll get mad.”

“I know,” his voice was barely over a whisper.

“So… you should go back. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your father.” You carefully took his face in your hand, tipping his head up to look at you. “It’s okay, Ben. I’ll be fine. You can go.”

“It’s just—“ Ben sighed, shuffling around to get comfortable now that he was facing you. “I don’t want to go. If I do, he’s going to make me kill again.”

“Kill?”

He nodded, “and I don’t want to keep doing it.”

You were at loss for words. You couldn’t tell him to ‘not go’, it was his father and he couldn’t just avoid him. You noticed how he began to tremble, his hands shook along with his quivering lip. “Ben.” You held his hands, “you can drop by my place after.”

“It’s going to be late. Your parents won’t notice?” His voice rose in volume, “I-I don’t want to get you in trouble. It’s an inconvenience. It’s fine, I’ll just see you next week. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll keep my window open for you.”

“No, no. You don’t have to do that. I told you, I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” you rubbed your thumb over the top of his hand. “I’m still going to keep it open. Just in case.”

How did he get so lucky? If someone told him one month ago that he’d make a friend that cared about him as a person rather than a member of the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t believe you.

“Okay,” he shot you a smile.

That smile never failed to warm your heart. “Now get us down, Benny Boy.”

He slithered his arm around your waist and you secured your hands on his shoulders. Tentacles sprouted from his back and he safely took you down the building.

“I’ve got you,” he noticed how you held onto him with a deathly grip. “I’m not gonna let you go.”

“You better not,” you laughed, burying your face into the crook of his neck with closed eyes. You took a deep breath, taking in the comforting scent that lingered in his skin and clothing.

When he made it to the ground, he ran his fingers through your hair. “You can let go now.”

You reopened your eyes, looking at the boy. The proximity was close, breathtaking. “What if I don’t want to?” You thought out loud, realizing only when his tanned cheeks tinted red.

“Then that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?�� You could feel his subtle breath on your skin.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to his chest, “your heart is beating a mile a minute.” You teased.

“Who’s fault is that?” He teased you back, leaning in closer. His eyes fixated on your lips for no more than a ninth of a second before looking back at your eyes.

“Mine,” you admitted with no shame. With every passing second, Ben inched closer to your face. You looked at his lips, then his eyes as you leaned closer to him.

“I’ve never done this before,” he whispered.

“Neither have I.” You matched his tone..

“May I?”

“May you, what?” You teased him once again.

Ben paused, his breath trembled and you felt it. “May I kiss you?”

“You may.”

“Ben!” The boy was taken away from your grasp. “Dad’s been looking for you! He’s not in the best mood today, Benerrino. You know to never keep the old man waiting!”

You couldn’t even say anything, Klaus had already run off with their brother. The only thing you got was Ben’s glance back. He looked as if he was apologizing with his eyes, a deep frown engraved on his face.

“Klaus!” Ben ripped his wrist out of their grip.

“You know how strict dad is. I don’t want him to get mad at you.” He looked back, he saw you turn and walk away. “Oh shit.” He whispered under his breath, “Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” His tone was sharp enough to kill. “Let’s just go see dad.”

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t left your room since you arrived home. You were still salty about the episode earlier with Ben and Klaus. You kept your word and left the window open in case Ben dropped by, but time was ticking.

11:11pm.

Curfew at the Umbrella Academy was two hours ago, so you assumed that Ben wasn’t coming. You swung your legs off the edge of your bed and slowly made your way towards the window.

“Y/n?”

“Ben?” You called out, moving your curtains out of the way. “Holy shit,” you held your hand out and helped him inside. “Careful, don’t sit on the bed.” You kept your voice in a low whisper.

He didn’t speak, he only nodded.

You rushed out of your room to grab a cloth then pulled the wooden chair from your desk when you got back. “Sit here, it’s okay. Just relax.”

“How do you expect me to relax?” His voice instantly broke as tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes. “I’ve been trying to relax, for- for the past two hours!” He was careful not to raise his voice too much.

“Are you hurt?“ You used the cloth to wipe the blood off his hands.

He shook his head.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically.”

“Are you… okay?”

He shook his head, “not emotionally.”

Silence lingered in the air as you washed the blood off his skin. When you finished with his hands you went to his neck, then his face. You stopped for a moment, taking this time to cup his cheek. Ben leaned into your touch, shutting his eyes and placed a hand on top of yours. Tears silently trickled down his cheeks as he took in the comfort of your hand. You began to gently wipe the damp cloth over his blood-stained cheeks.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” He looked at you.

“No,” you stated with confidence, “no you’re not. You’re no monster. It’s not your fault. Your dad made you do it, you didn’t have a choice.” You reassured him the best you could. You’re okay now. You’re safe here.” You whispered sweet affirmations. “Thank you for choosing me, tonight.” When you finished, you placed the cloth on your desk. “I’m glad that you’re here with me, Ben.”

“Me too,” he moved away from your hand and stood up. His eyes didn’t leave yours, not once. “Can I have a hug?” A sob slipped past his lips with his words. You didn’t say anything, instantly leaning into his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He began to cry as he returned the embrace, crumpling your shirt up in his hands.

“I’m here, Ben. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You make me feel safe.” He whispered into your hair, “when I’m with you, the rest of the world melts away. Like nothing else matters but you and me.”

Those butterflies came back. They fluttered in your tummy with excitement and wonder.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Yes?” You pulled away from the embrace but kept your hands on either side of Ben’s body. You didn’t want to let go of him, not yet.

“I’m really happy that you’re in my life.” He brushed a few strands of hair out of your face. “Being with you makes me feel stronger, and I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Because I can’t think of any word that comes close to the way you make me feel.”

You were at loss for words. You wanted nothing more than to hold him in your arms and keep him safe, away from his stupid excuse for a father. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” his hand rubbed your side. “You don’t have to say anything.” He looked at your lips, “you’re perfect.” His stare dallied before darting up into your eyes. “May I?”

“Yes,” you closed the gap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he engulfed your body with ease. In that moment, it was as if the world stopped spinning; like nothing else in the world mattered.

The kiss lingered, and Ben began to move his lips, slowly running his hands down your body. He held your hips in a soft grasp. Then he finally parted.

“Ben…” his name rolled off your tongue like a melody. You leaned in for another kiss, pushing him down on your mattress. He didn’t have time to react, toppling over with a giggle. “Please stay,” you gasped for air.

“Stay?” He kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on the bed, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you gave him an extra pillow and laid next to him. “I want you to stay.” You snuggled up next to him.

“Hey, Y/n?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your smile lit up the dim room, “yes.” You gave him one last peck on the lips before closing your eyes to fall asleep. There was nothing more comforting than the feeling of his arms around your body, his hand running through your hair as you fall asleep.

But the next day when you awoke, he was gone.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Will you stay this time?” You asked for the millionth time as you laid on your boyfriend’s chest, taking a slow and deep breath as you shuffled around to get comfortable. “I want to wake up beside you this time.” The sleepiness was slowly taking over you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” Ben whispered, “I couldn’t risk my dad catching me out. It was only recently he stopped putting cameras in our rooms, if even one of us gets caught, all of us are busted.” He was truly sorry. He wanted to wake up by your side. He wanted to wake up with you in his arms. But he couldn’t risk getting his siblings in trouble.

“Cameras in your room?” Your voice was groggy, you didn’t even pay attention to what he said, you stopped processing what he said after ‘cameras in our rooms’. “That’s messed up,” your words were slurring together.

“Sleepyhead, just close your eyes and rest. You need it.”

“Mnn…”

The sound of your gentle snores filled the darkened room. He fixed his position, looking down at you while keeping you secure in his arms. His lips formed a frown as he moved bits of your hair out of your face. He planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, sighing deeply, “God, I love you…” if he got caught, his father would be furious. He knows that he’d be forbidden from seeing you, and he didn’t want to risk it. He got himself in a mess, a lovely, wonderful mess. Things would be so much easier if he didn’t love you, but he didn’t regret a single thing. He’d choose you over his father in a heartbeat.

12:00am.

He needed to get home, so he did. He carefully placed you down on the bed, properly bringing your blanket to your chin. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered, pressing another kiss on your forehead. “I have to go.” He spoke as though you were awake though you were fast asleep. He walked towards the window, watching as you got comfortable in your slumber. He stood by the window and stared at you. He didn’t move, he didn’t turn away, he just stared at you with pure love. You were the first to treat him right, the first to take care of him out of the kindness of your own heart, the first to truly love him, yet he always left before the morning. Not once have you woken up to him by your side. Did he deserve you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

“Ben?” You approached him and he and his siblings walked out of Griddy’s Doughnuts. It was their monthly sneak-out plan and for the first time in seven months, you didn’t tag along. “Sorry to bother you, I was going to the library, and… this was close by.”

“Going to the library? This late at night?” His eyes went wide, “it’s dangerous. You don’t know what kind of creeps are out there.”

“I’m fine, Ben. Really, I–”

“Ben, let’s go,” Luther called out.

“I need to go.” He made his way past you, but you grabbed his wrist. He turned to face you, effortlessly prying himself from your grasp.

“Can we go out on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just here.” You looked at the donut shop. “Griddy’s Doughnuts. You get the glazed donut and I’ll get the one with sprinkles?”

He squinted as he listened to you. You were being oddly specific, and it worried him. “No, sorry, I’m busy this Sunday.”

“How about Tuesday?”

“Ben! Let’s go!” Allison shouted.

“I need to go,” Ben took a few steps away from you. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.”

“I’ll see you–” midsentence and he was running off. “...around.” You ended up going on Wednesday, but not to Griddy’s Doughnuts. Instead you and Ben crashed in your room for the day. The second he stepped through the front door, the atmosphere changed. You didn’t know what it is, but it was heavier. It was mildly uncomfortable and you could tell Ben felt it too.

“You should go home.” Now you were laying on his chest like you always did whenever he came. You two snuggled up with each other whenever the sun began to set, that hasn’t changed. But today is different: the elephant in the room didn’t want to leave.

“It’s nine. A little early for me to leave, don’t you think?” He muttered into your hair. “Let me stay.” He remembered how you used to always ask him to stay, and now you were the one pushing him away.

You shrugged, “I’m feeling tired. I’m going to sleep early tonight.”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” he brushed the back of his hand on your cheek before holding it.

“You never stay, anyways. It’s fine. Just go.” You moved away from his touch.

That was a first.

“What’s wrong?” Something was in the air before, he knew something was wrong, he knew you knew something was wrong. He acted on it first.

“Nothing.” You dismissed it.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me.”

You shook your head, pursing your lips as you felt the tears begin to form in your eyes. “We barely see each other anymore,” you muttered, “when we do it’s… awkward. It’s not the same as before.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He shut his eyes, sighing heavily. “I should’ve talked to you earlier. Shutting you out probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“What’s going on, Benny Boy?”

“Us being together… is risky. Especially with my strict dad and all. I feel like I should’ve thought about that before foolishly asking you out.” He couldn’t bear to look at you.

“What are you…” your voice trailed off into utter silence. You looked at him, desperately wanting to meet his gaze. “...what are you implying?” The second those words left your mouth, you wished they didn’t.

“I love you,” Ben began. “I may be seventeen, I may be young, and people say kids like us don’t know what love is. But I know that I really, really love you. You’re the first to see me as who I am. Not just some boy with powers, not the boy in the Umbrella Academy, not Number Six, but you see me as Ben.” He glanced down at you for a moment, but he couldn’t stand that mere second of your pained expression. “I love you, Y/n,” he caressed your arm with his hand, “but if my dad finds out we’re together, he’ll stop us from seeing each other. I’m mistreating you, we don’t see each other as often as we used to because I’m playing it safe. It’s unfair, and you deserve better.”

“Ben, I can wait. I can wait as long as I need to. It’s okay. I don’t mind, I know you’re busy,” you sat up straight, hand gripping his bicep. “I can wait.”

“I don’t want to do this, but it’s better for us to take a break.” His heart sank the moment he finished, finally looking at you. “I’ll come back. When I’m eighteen I can get a bit more freedom. Then we can start seeing each other again.”

You turned away when he looked at you, shaking your head slowly as tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t want this, but you were mature enough to know that he was right. He was in the Umbrella Academy, he has powers, and he isn’t a normal kid. He’s different and you recognized that. You just wished that things were different.

“So… until you’re eighteen, we can’t talk?”

“I didn’t say that,” Ben reassured you, keeping you close. He didn’t want to let go. He felt that if he did, then he’d lose you for good. “I’ll still come by and visit. You can come to Griddy’s Doughnuts with me and my siblings. I’m still going to be here.” He pulled you for a quick yet passionate kiss. “I’m still going to be here, I promise.”

“You better be,” you laughed off your sadness, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “Just stay until I fall asleep. You can go home after.” You closed your eyes and snuggled up to his body warmth. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too,” he took slow deep breaths, adjusting his posture for better comfort as he held you.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

You haven’t seen him in two weeks. Not a word from Ben. You kept your window ajar and the lock flipped up. You gave him opportunities to see you, but he hadn’t taken any of them yet. You tried to understand, but you didn’t expect any of this to happen. He promised he’d still be there, but you hadn’t seen him. The two weeks stretched out to three and three turned into four. You showed up at Griddy’s Doughnuts from time to time, and there was no sign of him. You gave up. You didn’t want to wait any longer. He left and didn’t have the heart to properly break it off so instead, he gave you false hope.

That was until October 1st rolled around. You spent the day off at home alone. Your parents were working, busy with their jobs. It was like any regular old day.

Or so you thought.

The knock from your front door bounced off the walls. This day was the last and only day that you had hopes for.

Today was the day Ben turned eighteen.

You rushed to the front door, swinging it open with a smile, “hey, Klaus! Happy birthday!” You stepped out and looked left and right. “Is Ben with you?”

“Not exactly,” Klaus rocked back and forth between his heels and toes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course. Come on.” You ushered them inside, “where’s Ben?”

“Uh…” he took a seat on the couch, motioning for you to sit across from him. “It’s kind of complicated.” He took a heavy breath, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to find his words.

“Just spit it out already,” Ben said, leaning against the wall behind you.

Klaus glared at him.

“Something wrong?” You noticed his facial expression change, looking behind you before back at them.

“No, no, it’s all good. All good,” he leaned back, sighing once more. The atmosphere was dense, he kept looking back and forth between you two.

“Klaus!” Ben was getting impatient.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus sat up straight then leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Ben wanted to tell you that he’s sorry that he didn’t spend as much time with you as he promised.”

“Ben said that?” You leaned back, arms crossed over your chest. “Why couldn’t he tell me himself? Why did he send you?”

Klaus paused, mouth agape before pursing their lips. “He’s dead.”

He said that so nonchalantly that it didn’t process, “dead?” You scanned your living room, waiting for Ben to pop out from somewhere and tell you that it was some silly prank. “Funny, Klaus. Where is he?”

“No, Y/n you don’t understand.” His head fell into his hands. “Ben died on a mission two weeks ago.” He looked at the ghost that stood behind you, “and he’s sorry. He’s sorry since… y’know, he can’t be here with you. I don’t know why he’s so apologetic, it’s not his fault he died or anything.”

All of this was still too much to process. You were in shock, in heavy denial. “Ben?” You looked at Klaus as if they were a massive liar. “Like… Ben Hargreeves. He died? Two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” they rubbed their hands together, frowning. “I’m sorry you found out this way.”

“No,” your voice instantly broke and tears spilled out of your eyes as if they were on command. You wiped the oncoming them away with the sleeves of your sweater. You tried to stop them but they kept going. The ache in your heart never stopped, it still hasn’t recovered from the last time you saw him. Hearing this news and knowing you wouldn’t see him again was heart-rending. “No, no, no. Klaus, you’re playing a sick game. You’re getting too good at this shit.” You laughed, leaning back on the couch with your sleeved hand over your eyes. “Please stop it, you little shit. This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not lying! Do you think I’d lie about something like this? My brother’s death? Y/n… it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Ben is gone.” Klaus stayed strong for you, he didn’t show signs of weakness or sorrow. They already spent all of that within the first week, they didn’t need to cry again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You buried your head in your hands, biting on your bottom lip to ease the pain and keep it together. “You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

Ben could see it. He could see how hard you tried to keep it in. He could hear the heartbreak in your voice and the pain in your body language. He moved from behind you to in front of you. He wanted all of this to stop, he wanted your suffering to end. Watching you lament felt like he was shot through the heart.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, “I really am.” His voice quavered, “I wish things were different, but I did what I thought I had to do.” He reached out to touch your cheek, only for his hand to glow blue as it passed right through you. “If you could see yourself the way I do, then you’d know how much I love you. You’d know how sorry I am, you’d know how much I m-miss you.” He reached out again, but the same thing happened. “I’d do anything to hold you one last time.” He couldn’t bear to speak anymore, his voice cracked and he had to wipe the tears from his eyes. “You don’t deserve any of this.” But he kept talking. He hoped that a miracle would happen, he wanted you to hear him. “Y/n please… please, please. I love you. I love you, please I need you to know.” He reached out to pull you into an embrace, only to feel emptiness in his arms.

“Ben loves you,” Klaus said.

“I know.” You began to question your own statement. You began to question what Ben told you before he left. “Jesus Christ.” You whispered under your breath and stood up, walking right through Ben as you made your way out of the living room. “Klaus just- just leave.”

“But, Y/n—“

“Klaus leave.” Your voice was as sharp as a blade. “Don’t make me say it a third time.” You turned to them with slanted eyebrows. “Leave.”

“I’ll see you around, okay?” Klaus waved as he walked towards the exit. “I’ll see you some other day. Take care of yourself, please.”

You didn’t respond and walked to your bedroom. The second you got in there the door slammed shut. You slid down the wall and tried your hardest to control your breathing, but nothing you did could help. Your hands shook violently as a scream ripped your vocal cords.

Ben’s heart shattered. The agony behind your voice was enough to break him to pieces. He sat on the other side of the door with tear-stained cheeks. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d hold you, he’d hold you tighter. If he knew that four weeks ago would be the last time he’d talk to you, he wouldn’t have stopped talking until the both of you were passed out. He would’ve stayed by your side until the sun rose and you opened your eyes.

— ( ☂︎ ) —

Being Reginald Hargreeves's child isn't easy. Constant training, missions left and right, it all seems endless and you'd never have a normal childhood. His children have several ways of coping.

Klaus sneaks out of the house to go to teen parties where he overindulges in alcohol and pumps drugs into his veins.

Allison and Luther lock themselves up in a room where they can be alone and undisturbed. This way they can forget about their responsibilities.

Viktor plays the violin because he isn’t special. He isn’t like his siblings, he’s powerless and weak.

Diego seeks attention. Any attention that validates him as a hero is enough to feed his ego.

Ben can no longer hold a pencil or paintbrush the way he used to. All he can do is watch his loved ones suffer and get hurt. Ben’s heart was broken, knowing that he passed on his misery and misfortune to the one he loved most.

Part two? If I write it, it’s going to be a bit more angsty, no fluff, and it’s going to be shorter (hopefully). Tell me if you want to be tagged.

I may or may not already have an idea.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo

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lanawinterscigarettes · 2 years

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Send 👏 in 👏 umbrella 👏 academy 👏 requests 👏 please 👏

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paperpocalypse · 2 years

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fish dad.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 8. Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

Pairing: Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3,161 words

Warnings: Swearing, one brief depiction of blood/death, Sparrow!Ben

“Before you say no –”

“Hell no,” Ben hisses at you. “I’m not babysitting it.”

“Before you say no,” you repeat earnestly, legs dangling freely as your forearms stick to Ben’s windowsill, “just consider how this would benefit you. The public loves Fei’s birds. Animals are badass.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll throw a fucking two-inch fish at the enemy and Dad will promote me right back to Number One. Thanks.”

“His name is Ben, Jr., and I’ll have you know that he killed at least two other fish while he was with his previous owner.”

You hold the plastic bag containing the blood-red betta fish out towards Ben, who curls his lip in distaste. Still, you notice how his eyes linger on the slow, wave-like motion of Ben, Jr.’s fins before sending another glare at you.

“I have more important things to do than take care of a fish,” he says condescendingly.

You tilt your head.

“Like what?”

“Like fighting crime, dumbass!”

(Ben does not peel you away from his window for your feigned naivety, which is an improvement from last year.)

“Please, the Sparrows have nothing to do these days except walk around and look cool. My niece is staying over for two weeks, and she literally likes to sleep with the fishes.” You cut a thumb across your throat for emphasis. “Just look after him for two weeks, Ben. For me?”

He scoffs. “What makes you think I’d do anything for you?”

“Because I’d do anything for you.”

Ben’s mouth snaps shut. He makes a face as if he’d just chewed up a whole lemon, and you stare openly at his scrunched nose, Ben, Jr. dangling from your hand.

A gust of wind blows past the building. You shiver, knees scraping against the rough brick wall.

“Bullshit,” Ben finally manages.

“It’s not bullshit.”

“It is.”

“Why?”

He leans over his bed towards you, splaying his hands over the comforter. “Because if you’d really do anything for me,” he murmurs, voice a low, bitter drawl, “you’d join the Sparrows. Not unload your pet on me like a deadbeat parent.”

Your smile slackens just slightly. As it does, Ben rolls his eyes and pushes off the mattress.

“That’s not fair,” you mutter, breaking eye contact. “You know why I don’t do that anymore.”

“Your past is an explanation, not an excuse.”

Guilt-tripping me for being a child soldier is kind of a shit take, Number Two, you want to say, but you don’t.

Ben, Jr. flits back and forth in his little bag, appearing to sense your agitation. You take a deep breath in through your nose and fix the original Ben with an irritated look.

“Look, I came here to ask for a favor, not to have this conversation for the millionth time.” Setting Ben, Jr. on the windowsill, you reach back to unzip your backpack. So much for your good mood. “I guess I’ll just give him to Jenny instead.”

Ben narrows his eyes at you.

Right before you can store the fish away and start your slow descent, a tentacle reaches out and takes the bag from you.

You frown. Ben clicks his tongue and places the fish on his desk with more delicacy than you know he would ever admit, avoiding your quizzical look all the while.

“You owe me. Don’t go crying to me if Fei’s crows get to it,” he grouses.

“Keep your door closed,” you reply tersely. “You already do that, don’t you?”

He doesn’t answer. “Do I have to buy the stupid tank, too?”

“Everything he needs is in my car.”

With that, you heft yourself up and over the windowsill, hopping over the bed and landing solidly in his room. Ben stiffens when you nudge his shoulder with the back of your hand and head to the door.

“Where are you going?” he demands.

You look over your shoulder at him, still a bit miffed but ready to get a move-on.

“To get Ben, Jr.’s stuff. Come on and help me?”

Despite his grumbling and complaining, Ben trails after you down the hallway towards the stairs.

—

At first, he tells Grace to take care of the fish, but that order is quickly retracted when the robot malfunctions and starts dumping a shit ton of food into the tank. After that, it seems that taking care of “Ben, Jr.” is solely his responsibility. Fuck.

He takes great pains to ensure that nobody else knows about his situation, but this lasts for exactly two days. At least Sloane, the most tolerable Sparrow next to Chris, is the first to know.

“What’s with the fish?” she asks upon slipping into his room to borrow his blue Copic marker, staring at the five-gallon filtered monstrosity you had called an adequate temporary tank.

“Stupid present from a fan.”

His sister tilts her head. She approaches the tank, squatting down to trace the glass, and Ben resists the sudden urge to tell her to back off.

“Must be a pretty big fan. Look, it even has our colors.” She’s right. Though it’s mostly red, there are blue details at the bases and fringes of its fins, something that Ben had noticed the moment you shoved it into his life. “Did you name it?”

“Of course not. I don’t even want it.”

The quiet, piercing way in which Sloane regards him is unsettling. He meets her gaze head-on as she stands back up.

“Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll take it. I’ve always wanted a pet,” she says.

“No,” he replies without even thinking.

“Oh.”

There’s another excruciating moment of silence where she looks at him, and his short temper flares. He hates it when she acts like she knows something he doesn’t, like a mother waiting for her child to understand the bigger picture.

There is no bigger picture. He knows this – his ranking’s higher than hers for a reason, after all.

“What, Sloane?” he snaps.

She smiles, and his anger quickly turns to dread.

“I saw you carrying the tank up with [Y/n].” Oh, for fuck’s sake. He crosses his arms as she continues, her tone airy and wistful. “You should be nicer to your friends, Ben. We don’t have very many of them.”

“It’s not a gift,” Ben tells her sourly. “I’m stuck with it for two weeks while their fish-killing niece is staying over.”

“Well, it’s nice of you to look after it. You usually don’t do things for other people.”

He bristles. She says it like he’s getting soft.

“We’re exchanging favors. I’m not doing this to be nice.”

“Oh.”

No matter what he says to try to convince her, Sloane doesn’t seem to take him seriously. Nobody in this goddamn academy does.

“Just – take the marker and leave,” he ends up saying – to set a boundary, not to admit that she’s right in any way, because she has the wrong idea about all of this. “And close the door.”

Sloane nods. Casting one last glance at the tank, she takes her leave without another word, closing the door after her with a soft click.

Ben is alone once more. He glowers at your fish as it hovers near the surface of the water.

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

Ben, Jr. just flutters his fins.

—

At the end of the first week, you drop your niece off for a sleepover and then stop by the academy to check on the fish.

“Wow, he looks good,” you exclaim, admiring Ben, Jr.’s vibrant, healthy colors.

“Why do you sound surprised?” Ben retorts.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I mean, you were pretty reluctant to take him in.”

“I wouldn’t kill your fish on purpose.”

“Have your siblings met him yet?”

He sends you a look of poorly masked bemusement. “Sloane saw him.”

(You know that Ben doesn’t really bother with personal matters when it comes to his siblings. Some of the Sparrows (read: Jayme and Alphonso) would probably try something stupid for shits and giggles, anyway, and you would rather not let that happen.)

(But still, you entertain the idea of the others learning that Ben can, in fact, take care of something other than himself.)

“Oh, okay. You know, she’s always seemed like the type to get a pet. A little, fluffy white dog, or something like that.”

Ben shrugs disinterestedly.

Grabbing the bottle of fish food, you sprinkle a little bit into the tank.

“You said he killed at least two other fish.”

Looking back at him, you sigh. “Yeah, his previous owner dropped other male bettas into the bowl and made them fight,” you answer, watching Ben, Jr. slurp up the flakes with a frown. “Asshole got bored after a while, though, and I managed to buy this little guy. Good thing, right?”

“What kind of loser watches fish fights?”

“Losers who like how easy it is to cause them,” you say. “Male bettas are really territorial, so it’s on the owner to keep them in the right environment. Otherwise, they’ll end up hurting other fish and getting hurt themselves.” You roll your neck to the side, feeling the vertebrae crack. “Mind if I sit on your bed?”

“What do you think?”

“No?”

“Don’t put your shoes on the sheets. They were just cleaned.”

“Sure thing,” you respond, taking your shoes off and making yourself at home near the foot of his bed. “So, how was your week? Kick any ass?”

“Flew to Philly and fucked up some kidnappers. It didn’t even take ten minutes.”

“Whoa. Cool. I looked at spreadsheets and confronted Janelle about eating my lunch in the break room.”

Ben raises an eyebrow at you, blatantly unimpressed. “Doesn’t having such a boring-ass life bother you?” he asks.

You consider, drawing your legs up to cross them. Does it bother you? A nine-to-five office job, mediocre workplace drama, a normal sister with a normal daughter that visit your normal apartment twice a year. Bills. Overpriced tea. Decently ironed shirts in different colors. An old cat that follows you to the bathroom when you wake up in the middle of the night, skin sticky with sweat and head pounding with dreams of blood on your teeth and your old teammate with his skull cracked open like an egg.

“Civilian life isn’t boring,” you conclude. “Especially if you can scale buildings.”

“Whatever you say,” Ben drawls, sitting down in his desk chair, elbows on the armrests and legs spread as if he’s on a throne.

“Come on. Every superpowered kid thinks about what they’d do if they were normal.”

You don’t miss the way his jaw clenches.

“We’re not children anymore,” he informs you. “My power is a gift. I’ll always be a Sparrow. It’s who we’re meant to be.”

Wetting your lips, you scratch the back of your neck. Every time the two of you are together, the conversation inevitably circles back to the academy. It’s his life. It’s all he’s ever known and all he has, all the bells and whistles attached. Sometimes, you wonder if you would’ve had the same sentiments if your team was – better. Stronger.

In a fucked-up kind of way, you’re glad that it wasn’t.

Three sharp knocks interrupt your train of thought.

“What?” Ben sounds a little more annoyed than usual.

The doorknob turns, and you’re met with Fei’s carefully neutral expression, a single finger still raised from pushing the door open. A crow is perched on her shoulder.

“I’d appreciate not speaking through the door. It’s time for dinner,” she reports, inclining her head towards you. “You’re welcome to join if you want.”

You glance at Ben. He meets your gaze, then rolls his eyes.

“I don’t care if you stay or not.”

Geez, what a bastard. You kick at his ankle. “I wasn’t looking for your permission,” you chastise. You turn back to Fei. “I’d love to join your dinner meeting, as long as I get to sit next to Benjamin over here.”

“Don’t call me that.”

The corner of Fei’s mouth twitches. “All right, then,” she says, turning. “Hurry up and get Chris. I’m not going to wait until my food gets cold.”

As she leaves, you stand up along with Ben. “Her crow didn’t even look at Ben, Jr.,” you note.

“Her crows don’t do anything she doesn’t want them to do,” Ben says, putting a hand on your back and pushing you out of his room. “Now hurry up.”

—

You answer after two rings. Or three. Or five? He can’t count for shit right now.

“H … Hello?��

“[Y/n],” Ben mumbles, relieved. He fumbles with the phone, managing to pin it between his shoulder and ear before it slips and clatters to the floor. “Shit. I dropped you … pfft …”

He hears you snort quietly. “Ben, are you drunk dialing me at two in the morning?”

“Nooo. It’s three in the morning, dumbass. Three-oh-two.” Something in his throat catches, and he hiccups loudly, then giggles. “Thanks for pickin’ up. I hate leaving messages.”

“Well, I just woke up, so I guess you’re lucky, huh?”

“Why’re you whispering?”

“Because my niece is sleeping –”

“I lost your fish.”

“… What?”

“I lost your fish,” Ben repeats, and unexpectedly, sorrow wells up inside of him. His eyes sting, and he hangs his head, chin dipping down against his chest. “I can’t find him.”

“Did you look inside his little cave?”

“No, ’cause he left me. He left because he hates me soooo much.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Ben.”

“Yes, he does,” Ben insists. “’Cause I hate him. All he does is swim around and hide, and I hafta fuckin’ feed him and clean his stupid tank. And he can’t even be with other fish because he fights and kills them, and he flares at me when I put my face too close. I hate Ben. So now he’s … he’s gone.”

There. He finishes his explanation in one breath, then listens expectantly for your reply so he can argue some more. When you take too long to answer, Ben almost cries.

“Why’d you take such good care of him, then?” you eventually ask.

“Because you like him,” Ben slurs. What kind of question was that? Stupid.

“You could’ve just told me if he was too much. There are other people who can take care of him.”

“I’m good enough to take care of your fish. You asked me first. Don’t ask anybody else.”

“I didn’t ask anybody else, Ben. I knew you’d do a good job.”

“But I lost him.”

“Again, did you check his cave?”

“No.”

“Check his cave, dingdong.”

He pointedly looks away from the tank. “No. He needs to stay lost. He’s better that way.”

“Ben –” You sound exasperated, but then you laugh. It bumbles through the haze in his brain and he smushes his ear against the receiver to hear it better. “Fine. Do you know why I like Ben, Jr.?”

“Hell if I know,” Ben mutters.

“Because he reminds me of you,” you reply. “He deserves to be treated well. Thanks for doing that for me, Ben.”

This is frustrating. You’re frustrating. “I don’t get you,” he complains, eyes closing. “He’s just a fish.”

“That’s all he needs to be for me to like him. Look, check the cave or not, but he’s probably still there. Enjoy your hangover tomorrow.”

“You’re so fuckin’ mean,” he grumbles into the receiver.

You laugh again.

“Pot calling the kettle black. Go to sleep.”

“You go to sleep.”

You hang up. Ben drops the phone and stumbles to his feet, then stumbles toward the tank and squints into the dark maw of the small cave in the corner.

Sure enough, he spots Ben, Jr. snoozing inside.

“Go to sleep,” he also tells him.

Less miserable now, Ben is somehow able to remove his socks and unbutton his shirt before flopping limply onto his bed and drifting off himself.

—

At the end of the second week, you crawl through his window and announce that you have a confession to make.

Ben’s smile drips with arrogance. “Sorry, but I don’t date, sweetheart,” he says.

“I’ll make sure to cry in my bedroom later,” you reply wryly. “Not that kind of confession. It’s about Ben, Jr.”

“What about him?”

“Well …”

You linger on the word, and Ben crosses his arms impatiently, shooting a glance at the fish that had taken over his room for the past fourteen days. Ben, Jr. looks perfectly fine to him. He had fed him, kept the tank clean, even gotten a stupid moss ball after Sloane mentioned them in passing. For all intents and purposes, he’d spoiled the shit out of your fish. Surely him just being alive was good enough for you.

“‘Well’ what?”

“He wasn’t for you to just babysit,” you say, hands raised like he’ll unleash his tentacles on you. “He’s a gift. For you. I figured a trial run would’ve been better than just dropping him off, no takebacks. And my niece really does kill fish, so two birds with one stone, I guess.” You pat the top of the tank with an almost shy grin. “If you still don’t want him, I can take him today.”

He’s a gift.

Ben blinks. He clears his throat.

“It’d be a pain in the ass to move the tank out,” he mutters. When he sees your eyes light up, he glares up at the ceiling.

You hum lowly. Rubbing your chin, you start to walk towards him.

“So do you want the fish or do you want me to –”

“I want the damn fish,” he snaps. His cheeks flush as you get closer, and he drags his hand down his face in an attempt to scrub the heat away.

Snickering, you stop. “Okay, then. That’s all I wanted to know.”

He grunts.

His brow furrows as you spin on your heel and wave at Ben, Jr. before making your way to the window. You push the window up, and a balmy summer draft blows in.

“What are you doing?”

You put your foot on the sill and stick your head out. “Leaving?”

When Ben seizes your arm, your skin is already rough, but he maintains his grip despite the discomfort. “It’s almost six-thirty.”

“Yeah, your family dinner meeting. Don’t be late.”

“Stay for it.”

“Oh?” Your lips curl upwards. “You want me to stay for dinner again?”

Scowling, Ben lets go. Whatever sensation that’s prickling his chest seems to expand twofold when you duck back into his room.

“No. Forget it.”

“Nope. I’d never turn down a free meal,” you state. “Might as well beat Fei to it, huh?”

You leave the window open, leading him to the door. He doesn’t realize that he’s caught your wrist again until you’re dragging him down the stairs, babbling on about how Ben, Jr. might be okay with other fish if he gets a bigger tank.

Ben doesn’t care. Not at all.

#wordless ways to say i love you #source: @50-item-writing-prompts #ben hargreeves #sparrow!ben #ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow!ben x reader #the umbrella academy #tua #the sparrow academy #tua ben #tua fanfic #fanfic #reader insert #fluff #something something ben confronts his self-hate via a fish named after him #blahblahblah

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msjuliiette · 2 years

Text

“aren’t you a cutie?” ✧

pairing: sparrow!ben x umbrella!reader

warnings: drunk reader. swearing. fem reader. very slightly suggestive content. fluff? comfort? idk. oh also bens kinda a dick..

summary: the sparrows weren't even that bad… including one familiar face that you longed to see.

a/n: basically you're drunk, you hang w the sparrows. thats it. alsooo first time writing for ben i hope this is fine!! <3

wc: <1K

requests are currently open!!

everyone was arguing about the sparrows back at home. you and luther agreed they weren’t half bad… but majority wins, right? anyway, while luther stood home and obeyed the majority's wishes to not interact with the sparrows you were busy sneaking out. you couldn’t get there sober though so you grabbed a bottle of vodka. you just drank and drank. intoxicated you was a lot more bold than sober you and you really needed this push.

you knew the conflict that would start if your siblings found out where you were right now, but you couldn’t help it. you held the bottle in your right hand and you knocked with your left. the door swung open immediately as fei had one of her crows watching you.

“oh shit,” fei laughed, she smelled the scent of the alcohol off of you, jayme stood by her side.

“what do you want, pretty girl,” jayme scoffed.

“you guys are pret-ty… cool…” you cut yourself short not even knowing what to say next.

a familiar face parted the two girls. a wonky smile immediately grew on your whole face. you basically collapsed on him and you grabbed onto his shoulder for some support.

“ben!”

he groaned and made an annoyed face as he pushed you off of him.

“oh ben i missed you so freaking much,” your eyes began to water.

“the fuck,” he pushed you off of him.

he still remained careful with you. his hands holding onto your shoulders to maintain your balance.

“oh god why is she crying,” fei sighed.

“let's just get the chick inside,” jayme flipped her hair as she started walking to the liquor cabinet, “well i mean why not all of us get drunk? this ‘family,’ drama is stupid.”

you quickly moved through ben and followed after them with a smile. the click clacks of your heels swallowed the hall and you tried your best to remain upright.

it didn't take too long for the rest of the sparrows to gather together, and it took an even shorter amount of time for everyone to go through several bottles. ben was lame though and refused to indulge in any of the fun. but you didn't care! all of you were having fun and if he wanted to be boring… well, whatever.

as night grew upon you guys everyone had left one by one to go to bed. each with their own excuse- but not you! the only reason you kept on drinking was because this was literally your only way of coping. end of the world, majority of your family has gotten fucking annoying.. ben was the only one who hadn’t left.

“ben…”

“what,” he looked over at you from the other couch right in front of you.

“i’ve got some..thing to tell ya,” you said as you pouted and drank a little bit more.

“what is it?” he had an unamused look on his face.

“you know you are really..,” your sentence was interrupted by a gag.

your eyes winded and you felt all those gallons of liquor coming up.

luckily, while you were busy going on and on with the sparrows, ben managed to grab a bucket… just in case… he handed it to you as you threw up your guts. ben stood beside you and held your hair back. once you finished throwing up, not even half of what you had drunk today, you turned your head over to ben.

“what i was trying to say is,” you smiled, “you’re not all that bad like you pretend you are..”

“oh shut up.”

it didn't take long till your head was back in that bucket.

ben was thinking about what you said as the room echoed with blegghh and blech sounds.

“did she really mean that,” he thought to himself. in his mind he thought everyone was incapable of even thinking he's a good person. but then again, maybe it was just the alcohol talking… right?

soon enough you’d been reaching for another bottle.

“hey hey hey,” he carefully grabbed it out of your hand, “i think you’ve had enough for one day.”

ben placed the bottle on the ground.

“buttt ben pleaseee, just onnnee more sip,” you pleaded.

“no, y/n,” he grabbed you, bridal style, “what you need is some sleep.”

“aren’t you a cutie,” you winked and booped his nose.

he rolled his eyes in response and you let out a laugh.

he laid you down on the bed and tucked you in.

“well.. goodnight.”

as he headed to the door to shut the light off and exit you stopped him.

“ben pleaseee don’t go,” you frowned.

he turned around, interested in what you had to say next.

“look, you aren’t my ben… but i really- like reallyreallyreally missed you.. can’t you just stay pleaseee!”

he facepalmed, “y/n no. this was even pushing it for me,” his hands left his face to turn back around and open the door.

“waitwaitwaitwait noo!! ben!! look.. you have been gone for like billions of years ‘nd i missed youuuu!!! you aren’t actually him but thats okay.. i like you! you are such a freakin softie,” you smiled and giggled, “just because you aren’t my ben doesn’t mean i can’t like new ben, lay down please. i like you a lot a lot a lot.. i missssed you!”

he took a moment and let your words sink in. you… liked him? you two had only just met but wow. he felt a warmth in his heart. his mind was racing with thoughts.. with emotions. did you really like him? are you just nice?

“okay fine. you owe me, okay?”

“yayyyy!!! thank you ben, i do owe you! whatever you want,” you winked.

he laid down next to you and turned facing the other way.

“oh cmon now benn don’t be such a lame-ass,” you tugged on his shoulder.

he groaned and turned over, “you seriously owe me big time for this one.”

“thats fine,” you smiled and shut your eyes.

as you fell asleep you had an arm wrapped around ben. his thoughts wandered but he always came back to the same subject… you. it really fucked with his head hearing the umbrella academy saying they didn’t like “new ben.” how the fuck was he supposed to know what “old ben was like”? you had soothed his thoughts though… knowing that at least one person liked him helped him sleep that night.

#fanfic #headcanons #imagines #ben hargreeves fluff #ben hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua season 3 #tua spoilers #tua fanfic #ben hargreeves fic #sparrow academy #sparrow ben #tua netflix #tua ben #drunk reader #ben hargreeves comfort #ben hargreeves angst

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autumn-hiraeth · 1 year

Text

warnings: none!

pairing: sparrow!ben x reader

a/n : english isn't my first language sorry If I made any mistake :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Ben frowned when you sit on his lap, you were drunk, probably in the same state as Five, maybe that's why you had enough confidence to hug ben. The man who looked exactly like the love of your life, but he wasn't him.

"y/n you should go to sleep" he said into your ear making you shiver

"I'm not sleepy, I want to be with you ben" you answered hiding your face in his neck, smelling his scent; you had missed him so much, everything about him was so hypnotic.

Ben sighed at your words, no one had ever said that to him, that is, many women had done it but not the way you did.

The sparrow chose not to say anything and began to caress your hair, you snuggled closer against him enjoying the act and ben enjoyed it too, you felt so warm.

Ben slowly rested his chin against your head, his arms wrapped around you as you hummed, your heart raced and you knew ben could hear your heartbeat; a smile formed on his lips.

"Ben..." you called softly, the boy hummed in response "I'm glad we met again" you confessed closing your eyes

Ben kept quiet, for a strange reason your words made him smile and without much thought he left a kiss on your temple.

" me too, y/n"

#ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x you #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves drabble #ben hargreeves x fem!reader #sparrow!ben x reader #sparrow!ben #sparrow!ben imagine #sparrow!ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow ben x reader #sparrow!ben fluff #ben hargreeves fluff #sparrow ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves x y/n #send me requests

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spencerrxids · 2 years

Text

memories (THE STORY IS OUT)

pairing : sparrow!ben hargreeves x fem!reader, past!umbrella!ben hargreeves x fem!reader

genre : this is quite angsty but also heartwarming

warning : none

summary : in which she found glimpse of them together through his eyes—the man that wore the face of the love of her life

THE STORY IS OUT!!

“Out of everyone else, I thought you’re the one that hated me the most.” He said.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “That is an ability that I am not capable of. I can’t afford that. I don’t think I could even if I tried to. You’re too much like him.” She said.

taglist! (closed only 50 acc per post) @drewstarkeymistress @luv4jeno @natsukiorihara @storylover239 @simpreade136 @van-n-y @weepingprincepeace @yvng-h @opalthebae @sxrxhgst @thaylineves @melisayade @jadeittic @itsthatbeech @strwberryrcse @mainmartian @jannareinn @hinaaspanda @thatbisexualskatergirl @stlion12 @marmeladovasofia @xhiiyuv @sofiaph05 @fantasyfiction-net @quadrisl @w0wza @vintagenightwing @voirclub @aka-chxrry @crowdthena @anvilsonex @chaotic-onigiri @ajjwjs @dumbisms @demonlyie @beebuilds @nihgtmarse @america179 @catspook @mygoldtears @coenhvc @da-zais @weseagreenthings-blog @fairygirl997 @happyacorncollector @juic36oxx @winchester-petrova @annabellekenobi2005 @sitcomsliv @championemmie @kettlekel @pink-mochi @dokidokihwa @demeterluv @resident-swiftie @neigesprincess @bingewatchthings @heyig @justeveeeee @4okkutsu @strbrryshrtckexo @dolcestivo @jhyeon @ningningyizhuoo @ashtin @pokichuuu

#ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #ben hargreeves angst #ben hargreeves fluff #the sparrow academy #sparrow ben hargreeves #sparrow ben hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy imagine #angst #heartwarming #song inspired #glimpse of us angst #glimpse of us #tua

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itstheghostofmypast · 2 years

Text

My Little Stress Eater

Five X F.Reader

(Headcanons)

Summary: "What? I eat when I'm stressed okay?!" Y/N has always been a shy little wreck, more or less the only way Five could tell she wasn't feeling her best was when she would start eating the same proportions as Luther. If that wasn't all, the more closed off she was, the more he wanted to know about her.

Point of Headcanon: Nothing really, just wanted to write about an S/O that was closed off and resorted to stress eating when nervous - kinda got too personal while writing😭🥺 apologies in advance

Gif credit to owner

Note: Five is around 21 when he is hired by the Handler and so is Y/N.

Genre: Fluff

Five X FemReader

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

After Five is hired, the Handler tells him to meet his partner.

"She will be in an Irish bar".

"How will I know it's her?"

"Think of it like it's a test, you'll figure it out."

That lady was a crack head and he was sure of it. Making his way into the Irish bar at midnight he sees dozens of men with their female companions, all rowdy and noisy. Eyes scanning the room till he finds someone at the corner table, a corner illuminated by a single spot light on top.

Was she ...stress eating?

He walks over to her table and stands their, watching her stuff a pastry in her mouth.

"Commission?"

She looks up at him with a mouth full of what he assumed was a chocolate tart, before swallowing and quickly wiping her face with a napkin.

"Y-yes you must be Mr.Five."

"Mind if I sit down?"

"N-no not at all please, Sir"

"okay, stop with the Sir "

"Yes Sir-I mean Mr.- I mean..."

"So you're a stress eater huh?"

"...sorry about that"

"It's fine, as long as it doesn't mess with our work."

So here's the thing, he thought she was stress eating for the mission, getting cold feet ya know. But turns out she can kill better and faster than he can, and works with knives like she's painting- something Diego should learn to do.

The problem with the stress eating only rose up everytime the two were either done with the mission or the aftermath of the mission.

He really has no clue why because she never really speaks to him. Even after a year of working with her he only knows a handful of things about her; her name, age and that she's a stress eater.

He does deduce that she isn't much of a talker, conversations are things she truly avoids the most- he figured that out after a mission, when the two were driving back and "Put Your Head On My Shoulder" by Paul Anka began to play, and for some ungodly reason it made him feel...weird so he changed the channel. Not a minute after she carefully reached for the button and switched it back to the song, looking out her window again- okay, so she likes music too. He didn't change it after though.

It's not like she wouldn't respond to him when hed ask her something. He just noticed how she would be calmly sitting while she was alone and as soon as hed come and ask her anything, she'd become a nervous wreck- which is why he had asked the Handler numerous times to let the girl work alone but the blonde would refuse.

Almost 2 years in he decides it's best to confront her about this.

"If you don't mind me asking"

He begins to ask her one day, after working together for 2 year. Sitting in the same bar, the whole year went like a cycle.

"Yes?"

"What stresses you out?"

Unfortunately, that had forced her to flush pink. Gulping down her coffee in one go before wheezing out, hissing at the warmth.

Panicking he grabs a glass of cold water and gives it to her, helping her drink.

"You know what, nevermind Y/N."

And she quietly sips the water and he goes to the bar, getting her another pastry.

That went work well

A few years later, when both are in their late 20s. The two are cornered on a mission and they end up in an alley- a dead end. Five tries to blink them away but he's out of juice and she's out of ammunition.

And she turns to look at him

"Five! Blink away please"

"I can't Y/N, I'm out of juice-"

"Then run! I'll distract them!"

"Are you stupid!?"

"Please just go! You'll finally have no partner that way-"

"WHAT? YOU THINK THATS WHAT- OH MY GOD."

Fortunately, the new birthed anger had given the man an emotional burst that charged his powers. Eventually he was able to get them out of their.

Back at the motel he confronts her and she's about to dip when he's just:

"NO. NO EATING NO RUNNING AWAY. ANSWER MY QUESTION."

"I...I heard you and the handler and-"

"You've been distracted since then? Wait...no you wanted to- are you INSANE?"

"No, I could've handled them I was ...I.."

Five feels like he's about to explode, never has he met anyone so closed off - he thought he was secretive but this was just messed up.

"You what Y/N, just...I just want to know"

"I like ...I mean...it's you I ...why do u want to get rid of me?"

"I don't....I just asked her because you seem so uncomfortable around me and we've known each other for years but-"

Cue her going to the minifridge to look for something and he goes after her to stop her.

"Do you...like me"

"Perhaps...."

Cue Five grabbing her face and crashing his lips on hers. And he's glad when she responds, clinging onto him.

So after years of knowing each other she lets him in; ever so slowly though.

And he realised how different they were, he was impatient and impulsive, while she was patient and immensely shy. While he would spit out his opinion and shun down any other, she would nod and remain quiet. He would lose his appetite when stressed, while hers would increase to large proportions. He preferred math and science, while she preferred myths and folklore- coming down to an imperial science Vs social sciences.

Though there were strong similarities between the two, both prefer peace and quiet, neither enjoys killing and most of all, both of them are always ready to sacrifice themselves for the other.

Their relationship is no secret, everyone in the commission knows about them and may have titled them as 'The Beauty and the Beast' - though she sees no beast when she looks at five and assures him that she has killed way more people when she was first hired at the age of 15.

Soon enough, Five decides he wants to marry her- though he is unsure if she is ready for such a big change, so he decides to drop hints.

Like leaving a bouquet around their apartment for her, or getting her random souvenirs on their missions. Being extra nice to her- every cliche thing he could find in any book about romance- yes, the boy had decided to refer to a book when it came to feelings as well.

But almost three months with this routine and he gets no reaction out of her, in fact, he personally feels as if she is more distant- like she was when they first met. Initially he thought it was his usual paranoia , but one night when they came home late from a mission and she chose to sleep in the guest room, that was the last straw- he was sure she had begun to hate him.

Next morning he decides to confront her about this- only to find her standing next to the kitchen counter that was lined up with a dozen dishes.

He slowly taps the counter to get her attention and she turns to him with eyes as wide as saucers, wiping her mouth with her sleeve and clearing her throat

"Love, are you alright? You've been nervous all week and...I'm .worried".

He approaches her slowly, speaking in a hushed voice, call it something about her he liked the most, her fragility. He wasn't the best with words and as he got to know her more, he realised how important it was to choose your words carefully, to speak in tones that do not trigger the other. At first he felt like it was walking on eggshells, but she had told him how it is important to consider the other person's feelings as well- she was possibly the most empathetic person he had ever had the luck to meet and he was glad she was his.

So there he stands in the kitchen, walking closer to her as she stares at her shoes. Gently holding her chin he tilts her head up, "Please, at this rate you'll eat half the world's rations."

At this she let out a small giggle, music to his ears. A sound so pleasant and calming, a sound he hadn't heard for a while.

"Well?"

"I...will you break up with me?"

"What?!"

"W-well you've been so nice to me and...I just, you were also reading that book I have you about...feelings and stuff and-"

"I'm unsure if I should be more concerned about the fact that being nice made you assume the worst of me or that a woman who knows more about any culture about the world, is able to kill faster than light with ease, is too dumb to see what's Infront of her."

"W-what"

"I was trying to lead you to realise I want to marry you."

"WHAT-"

"Will you?"

She stares up and him and grabs him by the lapels of his shirt, pulling him closer, their noses touching, whispering;

"Why cant you just use words Five?"

"Why cant you just accept grand gestures, darlin?"

He smirks down at her, arms wrapped around her waste.

"So, what's it going to be?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I wasn't gonna take no for an answer."

With that the two were married, a small wedding, quiet one too, one that was not known by anyone at the commission. Neither wanted to involve a lot of useless people, especially those who really meant nothing to them.

Either way, Five had told her about the apocalypse and how he wanted to go back. And much like his expectations, not only did she listen to him intently but also began to eat her dinner a bit faster- she was stressed for HIM.

"Y/N, why are you nervous about that, God-"

"B-but that's so sad and you were just a kid"

"NO, NO I AM NOT GIVING YOU MY RICE- "

Either way she ended up eating off his plate too, not that he minded.

Fast forward to the couple standing there staring at the portal. He reached to hold her hand, glancing her her determined face;

"Nervous?"

"No"

"Didn't see you devour anything today either so, if you're having second thoughts -"

"I'm not nervous because we're together."

With that Five felt his heart almost burst with joy and the two jumped into the portal, to 2019.

All that confidence went down the drain when she saw his siblings, then turned to look at a young Five.

"Shit"

The kitchen scene is the siblings personal favourite. Not only was their sibling's wife immensely tensed (visibily) she had also ended up eating Five's sandwich - for while he was arguing with Luther, she delicately pulled it out of his hand and out of habit he had let her take it. Only to realise what had happened after she had finished.

"Wheres my sa-seriously?"

"Sorry"

Everyone was amazed how this girl had to potential to tame their psychotic brother. Even after he came back with another suit case, just as Luther had told everyone about the world ending and no one wanted in on it, which had lef him to throw sissy fit, she had simply placed her hand on his shoulder, speaking up for him,

"This isn't a personal gain anymore, I know all of you have something or someone at stake but right now, the whole world being at stake is more important."

Five had never seen them actually agree on anything, let alone listen to anyone, but she had the magic to get them to do so.

Another thing the siblings notice is the way the couple communicates, usually it would be Five pacing around and mumbling stuff and she'd be eating something and listening.

When the eye became useless, Five was about to explode, but when he turned to look at her, she gave him a soft, reassuring smile. And for a moment Kluas had witnessed his brother malfunction, staring at her a bit too long before going back to losing his mind.

To be honest, Allison felt that the raging teen hormones were only affecting their brother and not her.

Luther was sure of that. While Diego had somewhat developed and older brother character around her, his first instinct being to protect her. Something that Five had noticed to which he felt the need to say;

"Don't underestimate her jackass, she can kick your a** to the moon and back".

However , the 60's were the worst, for when they arrived, none of them were together- that included her. It was safe to say that Five was scared shitless, because she was not around him. He was more paranoid and impatient, so when he met Elliot and he saw a photo of her, he felt much better. Until he realised that she had ended up with Klaus, which was either a very good combination of a horrible one.

Luckily when the hippie arrives to the place where everyone is, Y/N follows in suit. As soon as she locks eyes with Five she runs to him, burying her face in his neck as he pulls her closer, not concerned about what his siblings would think of, whispering to her;

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left you."

"It's okay, it wasn't in your control... plus Klaus started a cult and he's a great therapist"

"Danke my lady."

"You started a CULT? HOW MANY OF YOU MANAGED TO AFFECT THE TIMELIN-"

But before he has the chance to blow up she pulls him down for a kiss, then let's go, leaving him standing their angry and embarrassed.

Giving Klaus the opportunity to say:

"Children keep it PG here."

As things get worse, especially after Elliot is killed and Lila turns out to be the Handler's help, they stand their watching their names flash on the TV as terrorists, other than her and his, because apparently they were hostages.

"It's true, sometimes I do feel like I'm being held hosta- please stop eating the tuna jelly, please."

"IM SORRY OKAY BUT DO YOU SEE HOW WR ARE TOTALLY F***ED FIVE? I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THIS!"

Five stares at her confused then nods before turning to his siblings,

"I'm impressed, we broke my empathetic, soft spoken, polite stress eating wife."

Luckily, as soon as Five is able to save them, yet again, at Sissy's farm, they teleport back to 2019, this time ready for a peaceful life, only they end up finding themselves face to face with the Sparrow Academy.

"Five?"

"Yeah"

"I think I just lost my appetite"

"But love, I'm sure they have a whole kitchen stocked for you to devour"

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Note: Please excuse the horrid formatting, I wrote this on my phone and technology ain't working out for me these days. Either way, I hope ya'll like it'

TUA Taglist: @imaginesfire , @placidpluto , @achingwoundforaheart , @esmaada , @samyourneighbor , @xuenihao , @whoreofscience , @navs-bhat , @yuuki4646 , @simpformoonkight , @crowleysqueenofhell ,@anapotatowriter thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)

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asteriismos · 2 years

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𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 - 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

you didn't know what to think of the new ben. the sparrow academy were a bunch of assholes for sure, but the biggest one was ben hargreeves. you were never going to get along with him no matter what.

MASTERLIST

chapter one.

chapter two.

#ben hargreeves headcanons #ben hargreeves fluff #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves smut #ben hargreeves #the sparrow academy #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy fanfiction #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy

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stvrchaser · 2 years

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please!! start sending in umbrella academy and stranger things requests (i don’t want to do my ap summer assignments so im procrastinating but i’m also in desperate need of ideas)

** i won’t be writing nsfw, i’m sorry! it isn’t that i feel uncomfortable consuming the content (because i do. i just can’t write; i’m just a perfectionist who’s too scared to get anything wrong)

anyway here are the lists of characters i’m willing to write for!

tua: five, ben, viktor, marcus, jayne, fei (yes i realize the brelly to sparrow ratio is unexpected considering who the main characters are but shhhh)

st: eddie, robin, steve, max, lucas, henry/peter/001 (don’t question it. i love fictional villains)

feel free to be as specific or as vague as you’d like with these requests i just really need ideas 💌

in the meantime, i hope you enjoy the stuff i’ve written!! here’s my masterlist to make things a little easier

#the umbrella academy #stranger things #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow ben x reader #marcus hargreeves #fei hargreeves #jayme hargreeves #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #peter ballard x reader #robin buckley x reader #lucas sinclair x reader #max mayfield x reader #angst #fluff #domestic bliss

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stiingrayyyy · 2 years

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So Close, yet so Far, B.H

So Close, yet so Far

Pairings — Dead!Ben Hargreeves x GN!Reader

Summery — Ben is dead. Klaus is helping you cope and recover while you go through the five stages of grief.

Warnings — angst(?), swearing, mention of death, tell me if I missed any <3

A/N — Sorry this took a long time, I was on vacation. I’m not really happy with how this turned out, I’m sorry in advance. I used to be good at writing angst but this one isn’t as sad as I hoped it would be. Constructive criticism and feedback are welcomed!

read part one here.

━ FIRST STAGE: DENIAL ━━━━

It’s been two days since Klaus came by and broke the news to you. You thought it was crazy, you’ve been alone with your thoughts for 48 hours and you believed that the druggie was pulling on your leg. You thought he was lying, still pulling some sick joke.

It was midday and you stepped out of your house. The gentle breeze brushed past your hair, leaving you with a subtle shiver. Your head was tilted down, eyes fixated on the pavement two feet ahead of you. The ache in your heart eased, but it wasn’t removed. That ache in your heart would come and go like the tides in the ocean.

You approached the Hargreeves Mansion, hand gripping the bars of the numbing gate. You let yourself in, walking along the pathway before knocking on the doors. You’ve never walked up to the Hargreeves Mansion like this. Ben told you that it was too dangerous, but you needed to see him.

The door swung open, revealing the multi-millionaire and father of seven: Reginald Hargreeves. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.” He shut the door, only to be stopped by your foot.

“I’m not selling anything. I’m here to see your son.” You meant no harm, you were meek and friendly. “Ben?”

“Number Six is long gone. He’s dead. Scram now, Child.”

“He’s not dead,” you pushed the door open and stepped inside the house. “I’m not leaving until I see Ben. Now, where is he?” Your voice began to rise, growing impatient as each second passed.

“Number Six is dead.” He used his walking stick to hit the wall beside you. “Leave my house and leave my family alone. I don’t know who you are. I would never let some filthy unhygienic teenager see my children. Now leave! Don’t make me have to say it again.”

“I’ll take them out.” A voice rang from the top of the stairs.

Reginald turned around with a confident nod. "See to it that they never return, Number One.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “fine,” with the roll of your eyes, you spun on your heel. You glared at the old man as you left, the blonde boy following behind you.

“I thought Klaus told you Ben died.” Luther whisper-shouted, as if he’d get in trouble if he were caught.

“They did!” You whispered back, “I don’t believe that piece of shit. I know Ben’s still in there, I need to talk to him!”

“Y/n. You don’t understand,” he stopped walking and grabbed your shoulders. “Ben. Is. Gone.” He didn’t want you to get lost in your head. Your mind was a prison and he had to break you out. “I don’t want to believe it the same as you, but we have to face the truth. He’s dead! Ben is dead! We can’t bring him back, that’s not how life works. I’m sorry, but you need to see it. Just let go.”

“You’re lying. You’re lying. Luther, he’s in the Umbrella Academy for fucks sake!” You pushed him off, “he has powers, he doesn’t just die! He’s too strong for that! Plus, none of you guys would let him die, he’s your brother. I just want to see him, is that too hard to ask?” You held your own hand to try and find some warmth, any form of comfort, you needed to feel something.

“Y/n, that’s not possible.” Luther slowly made his way towards you. “It’s not possible.”

“You don’t understand.” You took a step back, “stay away from me.” You forced your legs to pick up your body weight and turn yourself around. You wasted no time walking away from him. You needed someone, you were self-destructive when you were alone, but you couldn't stand being with someone who kept telling you that your first love was dead.

━ ANGER ━━━━

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m sorry. We did everything we could, I did my best.” Every once in a while, Klaus would drop by to check on you. Ben followed them around, but he couldn’t bring himself to see you, not now, not in the state you were in. Ben couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t take care of you, he couldn’t even talk to you. All he could do was watch like you like the screen of a TV. He could yell, he could cry out and shout, but you’d never be able to hear him.

“It wasn't enough,” you hated seeing him. Klaus and that stupid flask of his. “He’s your brother and you let him die.” If stares could kill, they would be on the floor with blood pooling underneath them. “He’s your brother and you let him die! You’re so fucking useless, Klaus. You know that?” You stood up and laughed, sadness and anger evident from the way you stood. “Maybe if you stopped drinking and actually used your head for once in your pathetic life, he’d still be here!”

“It’s not my fault! I did my best! Is that not enough?” Klaus was doing everything he could. Every time he came by he would bring a basket of snacks, he would make sure you were taking care of yourself and showering. Hell, he's taking better care of you than he does himself. “Cut me some slack, Y/n! I’m going through something! My brother died, my family has been shit, and I can’t even get a good night's sleep! I didn’t even have to come and see you. I’m doing this out of the kindness of my own heart. What more do you want?”

“I want Ben back!” You threw the empty glass of water at the wall directly behind them. “And I didn’t ask you to come and check on me.”

“That’s cold,” with a groan, they stood up, stuffing their flask in the pocket of their shorts as they stood up. “You know, I used to think you were nice.” He knew that you didn’t mean to hurt him. He’s never seen you this worked up before. You were the person who was kind and gentle, the one who wouldn’t hurt a fly. “I’m going to come back tomorrow and I hope that your attitude will change.” He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a dustpan and brush. “If Ben saw you like this, he wouldn’t be happy.”

“Don’t use him against me, Asshole. He’s dead.” You sat back down, “maybe if you and your brain-dead siblings could do better then he wouldn’t be. First Five, now Ben. Jesus Christ, you guys are such a great family. Just letting each other die like that!"

They sighed, carefully cleaning the stray pieces of glass and dumping them in the trash. He had no words left to say. It hurt hearing all of this come from a friend. He thought he’d only hear it from his dad, but you too?

“Take care of yourself,” he walked to the door and slipped into his shoes.

“Says the drug addict. You’re going to drop dead any minute now.”

“Get some sleep, you’re a mess.” With that, he left.

━ BARGAINING ━━━━

“I’m really happy you’re here,” you sat beside Klaus on your couch, head resting on his shoulder. A few days have passed and they haven’t stopped checking up on you. Every time he left, you were alone to ponder your thoughts. You finally realized how ungrateful you were being. “I’m sorry for last week. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”

“No, it’s okay.” Klaus sat as still as he could, “you’re going through something. It’s normal for some people to get upset and act different.”

“It’s not okay,” you adjusted your position to look at him. “I was being a complete asshole.”

“Don’t stress about it,” he placed a hand on your head, running his fingers through your hair. “I’m just glad that you’re here.”

You nodded and fell silent. You then readjusted your position again, looking down at your lap. You began to wonder what would’ve happened if you and Ben just stayed friends. Would it hurt less? What if you went on that mission he died on with the rest of the Umbrella Academy? A normal kid with no special abilities, assisting the Umbrella Academy with whatever mission they were on.

“Klaus?”

“Hm?”

“I wish I was like you.”

They stiffened, sitting up straight as they turned to look at you. “What?”

“Seeing the dead.” You looked back at him.

“Oh no. No, no, no. Y/n you seriously don’t want that. trust me.” He brushed the hair out of your face the way Ben used to. “You don’t want to be like me.” He began to laugh softly, shaking his head. He doesn’t want anyone to experience the misery and trauma he endured as a kid.

You shook your head, “but, Klaus! If I had your powers I could see him. You know I’d do anything to see him. Just once.”

“Even if you could see him, you wouldn't be able to touch him. You can’t hug him. Won’t it hurt if you can see him but can’t… y’know cuddle and shit?”

You shook your head, “it’s better than nothing.”

“Y/n, listen to me.” Klaus moved his body to face you, holding your shoulders in his hands. “I’m the expert here, okay? I know you miss him, I know you want to see him, I know you want to talk to him. But does it occur to you that you should… move on?”

“Move on?” You slapped their hands away. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I can’t just move on!”

“But you can’t sit here and dwell either! It hurts me seeing you like this. When’s the last time you even showered?” Your lack of response proved their point. “I’m worried about you.”

You fixed your posture and sat straight. “I’m sorry.” You were so egocentric, you were never self-centered, but these past few weeks you’ve been disregarding everyone.

“I’m sorry too. I could’ve been a better brother to Ben, a better friend to you. But I’m always selfish, I’ll be honest.” They tried to lighten up the mood by making you feel less bad.

“You’re a good friend. I only wish that things were different. That maybe your powers could… I don’t know, make Ben visible to others. If that’s even possible,” you felt as though you were speaking nonsense. “But it’s fine, you are the expert after all. I don’t know anything.” You nuzzled closer to them again. “I’d give the world to see Ben again.” You weren't sure of many things, like what to eat for breakfast or if you should take a shower, but you would do whatever it takes to see Ben.

━ DEPRESSION ━━━━

Ben came to see you. Every time Klaus went out to party he would go to your house and sit with you. You wouldn’t even know he was there, you never acknowledged his existence, but he was okay with it. He was lucky. He could at least still be in the same room as you.

“That looks nice,” he said. He sat on your bed while he watched you paint at your desk. When Ben’s room was emptied, Klaus put all of his stuff in boxes and gave them to you. All of Ben’s clothes and art supplies… even though you weren’t much of an artist.

Various blues and purples were scattered on the canvas, with black to represent the clouds in the sky and a leafless tree on a small hill. “Fuck,” with one swift movement, you chucked the paintbrush at the floor. It was the little things that ticked you off. You were going to add the stars to the painting but you accidentally used the paintbrush for the black paint and mixed it with the soft white. You didn’t notice until the bristles touched the canvas and it was the final straw. You weren’t a painter and you did everything you could to make the painting perfect, only to ruin it.

“Piece of shit!” Your arms swept along the desk and the small cup of water shattered on the wooden floors while the canvas stained the wall. You knew better than to get mad, but everything made it feel like you were getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean. You were suffocating in your thoughts, the weight of your sorrow kept piling up like a load of bricks, dragging you deeper and deeper into the water. It was like there was no escape. Missing him came in waves, and tonight you were drowning.

“Please take care of yourself,” Ben kept talking like you could hear him. It brought him comfort even though there was no response back. Sometimes he kept talking because he held onto the smallest sliver of hope that you could hear him. “You’re everywhere except here.” He placed a hand over his heart, “and it really hurts.” He stood up and walked over to where you placed your head on your desk, arms wrapped around your head to cover your face. “So close yet so far.” He reached out to move strands of hair away, but the infamous blue light radiated from his fingertips as his hand passed through you.

You wished that things were different. You wanted to greet Ben with a happy birthday when he turned eighteen. You wanted to sit on the rooftop of the tallest building in the city again. You wanted to cling onto him, adrenaline rushing through your veins as he brought you down the building. You’d kill for another date a Griddy’s Doughnuts, talking endlessly until the store closed. But instead, you were left alone in your room, the window open and a trashed-up room.

“You should eat something,” Ben took a seat in the corner of your room. He looked at your body, it was different from how he remembered. It was slimmer, weaker, paler. When was the last time you went outside? “I could prepare something for you. Like… pasta or something. Maybe ramen?” He chuckled, “no, something healthy. I’ll chop up some vegetables and make a salad. Cook some rice and fry some eggs, even though eggs at night are weird... but if I could, I would.”

He watched you sit up, muttering profanities under your breath as you reached for a piece of paper and pencil. You flattened the lined paper on your desk and tilted the lamp on your desk. That small lamp was the only source of light in the room other than the subtle moonlight coming from your window.

‘Dear Ben,’

You had a pile of letters in your bedside drawer. A pile of letters that you’d never send because Ben was gone.

‘Dear Ben, Today was not a good day.’

He stood up and watched you write. He wanted to hear what you had to say, even if it was a rant. You wrote to let your emotions out, a healthy way of coping rather than something stupid.

‘Dear Ben, Today was not a good day. My dad is overworking himself and my mom’s expectations for me are too high. She thinks I’m okay now, but everything is so hard. She thinks I’m still getting good grades at school. She thinks I’m still waking up early and getting up early. Jesus, she has no idea. If she knows why I’m sad she’ll just tell me to get over it and don’t dwell. She did that before, she told me that I should at least be grateful that it happened because you made me happy. She’s right, but she doesn’t understand.

I go to bed thinking about you every night. You don’t understand how special you made me feel, even though I never got to wake up with you by my side. You were a comet and I lost it. You came and went like a shooting star, staying long enough to make me feel lucky before suddenly leaving. Will I ever see you again? Fuck, how can I breathe with this burning in my chest? You were gone so fast. I want you back. All of the memories we made are slipping through the past like an hourglass. I guess we don’t get to do all the things we said we would, huh?

Time passes by really fast. I never thought I’d wind up one step behind in my life. I’m just wasting it away sitting here and dwelling. Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I’m going to live a little harder and make every minute last longer. I don’t know how much time I’ll have, but I’ll live life for the both of us.

Still thinking about you. I love you, Ben. Love, Y/n.’

Ben smiled in the end, “you’re getting better.” His eyes scanned the page once more, stopping at the last sentence. He loved the way your handwriting spelled out his name. “I’m proud of you.” He kissed his hand, then held it out to touch your cheek. “Get some sleep, Sweetheart. You need it.” Ben stayed until you settled in and fell asleep, sitting on a chair by the side of your bed.

━ ACCEPTANCE ━━━━

“You look amazing,” Klaus stood behind you, hands on your shoulder while he looked into the full-length mirror in front of you two, “absolutely stunning.”

“Oh shucks,” you brushed their hands off your shoulders and flopped onto his bed. “I don’t have a good feeling about this, Klaus.”

“Come onnn. You gotta live a bit more. Loosen up!” They grabbed your hands and began dancing around the room.

“Ben doesn’t like parties.” You followed his lead. The dance was fast-paced and messy, it had no proper foot movement. “Is he here right now?”

“Hey, we talked about this.” Klaus planted his feet and ruffled up your hair. “He walked to the light. He claimed his spot in heaven. That lucky bastard, he has no responsibilities anymore.”

You chuckled, “I guess so. No responsibilities sound amazing. Adulthood is overrated.” You laughed, moving the messed-up strands of hair out of your face. “A part of me just hopes that… he’s still around, y'know? I just need to let go.”

“And that’s why we are going to party!” He took a dramatic step back and grabbed his coat. “Come on.” He held his hand out.

You took his hand, nuzzling into the scarf that wrapped around your neck to keep you warm as you walked to whoever’s house this party was being held at.

“Bullshit,” Ben muttered under his breath. He made eye contact with his brother from the other side of the room before the two walked out the door.

tags: @xenijk @vivsmcdo @ddeonubaby @khaylin

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