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changbeanie · 5 years

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beautiful stranger ↠ lee felix

◦ genre: high school au, strangers to lovers au, fluff

◦ pairings: reader x felix

◦ word count: 10k

◦ description: you’re missing a crucial part in your school play, and lee felix happens to fit the role just right. but what happens when that pretense becomes a reality?

◦ warnings: explicit language

◦ a/n: here’s the complete revamp of beautiful stranger that I intended on writing last year (but you guys know that I can’t write a chaptered fic to save my life) so a year later, here it is !!!

The fibers of your sweater are contaminated by specks of chunky gold glitter because one tri-fold, one wagon filled with posters, and one folding table are too much for one person to carry. The trade-off happens to be the word “Beauty” in Beauty and the Beast, so now, it’s just and the Beast: a horrific high school production.

Really, it’s Hyunjin’s fault for bailing on driving you to school in return for fifteen minutes of extra sleep; such a massive shame that your best friend chooses sleep over you, especially during casting day for the upcoming school play. There are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, and he chooses to sleep in today.

You’re hauling three bulky things at once up the ramp on the North Entrance of your school because it’s the closest one to the auditorium. Chan, the drama club president, insists on casting new people for the play because there has to be some diversity, new talent on the school grounds waiting to be discovered. Talk about causing drama in the drama club.

“Y/N. What took you so long?” Chan asks, showing you his phone with the time 7:00 AM displayed in a big, angular font. He really needs to chill because the custodians haven’t even arrived yet, and the foyer is perpetually empty for the next thirty minutes or so. “We have to set up and... why does the tri-fold say and the Beast?”

“First off, I vote to veto Hyunjin’s role as Lumière because he’s an asshole for canceling my ride last minute,” you huff, dropping the handle of the wagon as your arm gives up. Chan reaches forward to help you with the folding table sliding off the small blue wagon with insufficient space. “Second, Beauty came off is and smudged all over my sweater and the main entrance.”

Chan shakes his head and decides to text Seungmin “BRING MORE GLUE AND GLITTER” in caps because the more glitter the better. “So far, we only have a few confirmed characters, and I would love to have someone new play either the Beast or Gaston. The school is probably sick of seeing me in every play,” he comments modestly.

No one’s ever sick of Chan.

He’s the best actor your high school has ever come across, takes flesh of every literary/stage character there is like it’s his own self. It’s truly remarkable how effortless he makes acting seem when in reality, it’s all memorization and getting into character. He manages to stun the audience every single time because he has this magical charm to him that immerses whoever watches as if they were a part of the storyline. Chan is Anthony Hopkins incarnate, and it’s not surprising that he got into Julliard for his undergraduate, early acceptance.

“You being the director and not the actor would be quite a change for the audience. Nonetheless, It’s a Bang Chan Production, so it’s not going to flop. We’re going to have to train the newbies even if we’re running on two hours of sleep for the next month or so,” you nod. The dramatic arts isn’t for everyone, but with enough screaming stage directions and hair pulling, they might just get the hang of it.

“Okay, set up. Casting is open, and we’re allowing anyone who’s interested to sign up on the clipboard. Then, auditions and rehearsals start today after school,” Chan informs you, and it’s your job to relay it to the other members who are fashionably late. “The Beast is our priority right now, so as soon as Seungmin fixes the tri-fold, we’re doing a casting call.”

Speak of the devil, Seungmin arrives on time with chunky gold glitter and clear glue, scowling as he sees and the Beast on the tri-fold he spent two hours on. Again, Hyunjin’s the one to blame because he’s barely getting his ass out of bed and brushing his teeth.

“God, Y/N. You had one job, and you mess up my masterpiece,” Seungmin accuses, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Whatever. Did you promote casting?” You ask as you help Chan set up the table. The auditorium’s entrance is an ideal place for “street” casting because everyone’s bound to pass by it to get to their lockers in time for class. They can’t purposely avoid it or circle around it even if they wanted to.

“Do you see the flyers on every single stall of the restrooms? Hallways? Cafeteria? Did I promote casting? Did I?” His voice raises with every question, and you’re starting to wonder if he had his daily intake of coffee. No wonder Seungmin has a penchant for the dramatic arts; he’s as dramatic as one can be.

Forcing a smile, you say, “Splendid, Min. And how would I know whether or not you placed it on every stall of the restrooms? I’m not allowed in restrooms of the opposite s– ”

“ –I’m here! What did I miss?” Hyunjin pants as he arrives at 7:16 AM. “Looks like you made it to school in one piece, Y/N. And here I was thinking that you were physically and mentally dying because of the texts you sent me.” Then he eyes your sparkly gold sweater which definitely wasn’t sparkly before and decides to shut up.

You shoot him a glare. “That’s right. One more word from you, and you can kiss your role as Lumière goodbye.”

“Any suggestions for the Beast or Gaston?” Seungmin pipes from behind the table, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the floor as he attempts to fix the heavily glittered calligraphy. He doesn’t mind it at all that his nice black slacks are getting sparkly. Seungmin has worked backstage so often that it rarely surprises his teachers when he comes to class with a paint bucket as a shoe, which he has certainly done before during A Streetcar Named Desire. Poker scenes get kind of messy on set.

“I want to find someone the school has not seen before because Mister Bang Chan over there wants to fulfill his legacy with new actors. We need someone revolutionary, probably,” you suggest with no intentions of finding someone half as good as Chan.

It’s a pity because many people have a fondness for the dramatic arts, but few are willing to actually be in it. And that’s the biggest irony of it all.

ii.

“Be honest with me here. Jisung would make a great Cogsworth,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear after you see a few names scribbled down on the piece of paper that says AUDITIONS written in an unknown Microsoft cursive font. Jisung doesn’t even need to sign himself up because Hyunjin already has his name written underneath Cogsworth the Clock.

“You’re just saying that because he’s your friend. He’s promising, I guess,” you state, generously chugging the orange juice Hyunjin offered you from the school’s vending machine. An apology gift for the new gold accents on your tan cashmere sweater. “So far, no one has signed up for the Beast yet.”

Hyunjin scoots his chair back, the metal scraping against the polished floors, and you groan. He replies, “It’s the commitment. The Beast has an awful amount of lines to memorize. I don’t think anyone’s going to sign off their soul for the next month or so to have Chan yell ‘STAGE LEFT’ or ‘STAGE RIGHT’ at them.”

Smiling bitterly, you start losing hope in finding a new main lead. Looks like Chan would have to play the role of the Beast after all. You thought it’d be nice to have Chan as the stage director for a change, but if he ends up being the Beast, you’d have to give up your role as Belle to be the stage director.

“I mean, we still have five minutes before class starts. Some people might be late... like you four out of five days a week,” you note at your best friend. If only Sleeping Beauty were next year's play.

“Five minutes before class starts and has acting interest? I fucking doubt it.”

A pair of black Converse approaches the table in front of the auditorium’s entrance, and you look up to see someone you have not met before, which was odd. The school has a population of roughly two thousand with five hundred in every grade, and the perks of being involved in theatre, you pretty much know everyone. But not once have you seen this person.

He’s very cute, was your first observation. Hyunjin’s very good-looking, but this boy is a different kind of good-looking; Hyunjin’s features are a lot more prominent than that of Converse Boy’s. The boy standing in front of you has the most delicate of features: starry eyes and a sharp cupid’s bow. His eyebrows frame his face nicely, allowing you to get a good sense of his train of thought as if you were reading him like an open book. But the one thing that lingers your stare is his freckles. They’re scattered across his cheeks like immaculate pieces of stardust, and it captivates you like fireflies drawn to light — you’re a complete sucker for freckles.

“Are you interesting in acting? Well, you’ve come to the right place–” Hyunjin trails off as he gives Converse Boy his little spiel on the perks of acting in a school play, something he’s rehearsed in his sleep at least a hundred times. He goes over the plotline of Beauty and the Beast and the need for new main leads, and you feel kind of bad for Converse Boy to be bombarded with all this daunting information. “So, are you new here?” he finally decides to ask. Even Hyunjin doesn’t recognize him, and he’s Mr. Popular.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Felix, and I just transferred here from Australia,” he opens his mouth and says.

His voice is deep, you think. From the looks of it, you’d think he’d sound relatively normal like an average high schooler; it astonishes you to say that his voice is actually deeper than the sea, very guttural and gruff.

“That’s super cool,” you chime, alleviating the awkwardness. “I’m Y/N, and this is Hyunjin. Are you interested in acting or stage production? We’re actually casting right now because the current president is graduating this year, and he would really love it if his final production were to showcase new talent.”

“What roles do you have open? I’d like to try something new as a challenge,” Felix inquires as he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I don’t know if I’m any good, but I think it’d be a cool experience to meet new people and stuff.”

Ecstatic, you point to the clipboard with the casting sheet attached to it. “No, no. Don’t worry about it. Hyunjin can’t act to save his life, but he’s still Lumière,” you chide at your best friend who in return throws a glare in your direction. “Anyway, we have the role of the Beast and... Chip.” You double check the paper, and man, Gaston was already taken by Woojin. Otherwise, Felix would be an interesting Gaston.

Felix is uncertain and looks as if there’s a mental battle raging inside his mind. He’s familiar with the story, and Chip has like two lines in comparison to the Beast. Then again, it’s only junior year, so the workload can’t be that terrible. If he’s going to do nothing but waste time on Fortnite every day after school, then he might as well channel that extra time into doing something productive.

Hyunjin continues, “No pressure, bro. Just take your time, and if you feel like acting isn’t your thing, there’s also set painting and stuff like that.”

It’d be a lie to say that you’re not the least bit excited. If Felix ultimately decides to take on the role of the Beast or Chip, you’ll be able to get to know him better. You already have good vibes about him after this one encounter, and your vibes are almost never wrong.

Okay, maybe you’re just shallow, but he’s very cute. Also, the juxtaposition with his deep voice? Oddly charming.

“I’ll take it,” Felix says with such determination and assurance. “I’ll take the role of the Beast.”

The Beast? God, you did not expect that.

“That’s perfect! We’ll meet here after school and hand you the script, and then we’ll work with Chan to start discussing rehearsal times and minor schedule tweaks in... uh, backstage. Right, Y/N?” your friend asks, snapping your attention back to reality.

“Huh? Oh, right. Felix, you can write and sign your name down. We’ll meet here with the other cast members, and I’ll give you a tour backstage,” you reply, giving him a polite smile.

Felix scribbles his name down underneath the Beast and writes down his email and contact information. “I have class in two minutes. Which is the fastest way to Chin’s class?” He reads off his syllabus.

“Upstairs to your left and down the hall, and run because he’s super strict on being late. You’d have to write your name on the Board of Shame,” you warn, laughing a little.

Felix grips the sides of his backpack and gives the two of you an absentminded wave before running down the hallway, making a sharp turn for the stairs.

“A tour backstage, huh. You didn’t even give me the same hospitality when I joined the drama club, and I’m your best friend,” Hyunjin grumbles, feeling the obligation to remind you. “And kiss rehearsals, hmmm spicy.”

Throwing a pen in his direction, you puff out your cheeks. “He’s new, and you fucking know backstage after set painting for Mary Poppins. And no, no, no kiss rehearsals. We still have to do auditions before he’s finalized.”

“Doubt it. Only one person signed up for the role of the Beast, and that’s Mister Felix Lee. Also known as the guy you’ll be kissing for the next month or two. French kissing to be specific because you know... they’re French. Did I also mention slow dancing?”

“Slow dancing? And French–what, fuck you,” you say in disbelief. How many intimate scenes are there? Maybe you should drop out as Belle and work with Chan as the co-stage director or secretary.

Because you know if you work with Felix long enough, you’d probably end up falling for him. And falling for someone is definitely not on your high school bucket list.

iii.

When the bell rings, you run out of English Literature and make a beeline for the auditorium because high school students hate school with such a passion that they can’t stand being in the classroom for more than an extra second. You manage to weave your way through the sea of students and arrive on the first floor before your legs give up. It’s very inconvenient for the founders of the school to build a spiral staircase; you can easily ram into another student and cause a concussion.

Speaking of head-related injuries, Felix looks like he’s about to slam his head on the metal lockers any second now. His arms are filled with textbooks as he fiddles with the lock in his hands, looking like a T.rex as the locker combination ceases to work.

“Need help?” you offer, tapping his shoulder lightly, and he looks at you like you’re an angel descended from the realms of Heaven — which you totally are.

“Y/N, thank you so much,” Felix says generously, letting out a sigh. “It’s 03-25-18.” His hand brushes over yours softly as he hands you the lock, arms wrapping tighter around his slipping books.

You follow the given numbers and twist the combination disc until the lock clicks, sliding the shackle out before opening his locker. “Sometimes you have to twist it a few times before it works. It’s a nuisance,” you comment, helping him with the heavy textbooks. It’s useless to give students such hefty textbooks when the teacher only teaches five out of thirty chapters.

“I know right? Luckily, I got a top locker, otherwise the circulation to my legs would have been cut off,” he chuckles, emptying the contents out of his gray backpack. There’s hardly any homework on the first day of school.

“How’s your first day here? Are you familiarizing well? I know it’s tough to transfer in junior year,” you empathize with him. You transferred to your middle school smack in the middle of seventh grade where students already had their cliques and squads, but it wasn’t too bad because you met Hyunjin.

Felix slips a bottle of water into his backpack before he zips it up, giving you his full attention. “It’s pretty good. I met Jisung, Seungmin, and a few of the other guys in the play. They were pretty happy to hear that I was playing the Beast, but I wanna ask... who’s playing Belle?” he questions.

Suddenly, you don’t want to give him an answer because you probably can’t do so without a blush spiraling up your cheeks.

“Uh... um, me?” you drawl, unable to meet his bright eyes. If you had to option to choose between being a hermit crab for the rest of your life and mustering up the courage maintain eye contact with Felix right now, you’d choose the hermit crab life.

“I was hoping it’d be you. Actually, I sorta knew. Jisung’s not really good at being subtle.” Felix follows you toward the entrance of the auditorium down the long hallway, occasionally brushing shoulders due to the hoards of students. “You’d play a great Belle.”

“Nah, don’t say shit like that. I’ve only played minor roles in plays, like a tree on set or Maiden #3. I’m only doing it because Chan insists on it, and honestly, he’s done a lot for me,” you wave it off lightly, terrible at reacting to compliments. “But you, thank you for playing the Beast. Otherwise, I’d have to end up being the stage director, and I’m not about to lose my voice yelling at people.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Don’t you have megaphones?”

“Doesn’t mean we use them. It’s the dramatic arts, Felix. We use body language and the raising of our voices to convey that we’re fucking pissed off. You have a lot to learn, my friend,” you console mockingly, waving at the rest of the cast members who were already in front of the auditorium.

iv.

“There’s a stranger here,” Felix reads directly off the script.

Chan holds his hand up and shakes his head. “Felix, what do the words in the parentheses say?” he signals.

“It says that the Beast is growling at his words,” he nods, sitting nervously beside you as he holds the script tightly in his hands. Seungmin’s eyes widen noticeably as he paints the base of the staircase, and Changbin clears his throat awkwardly from the step-ladder as he hangs up the chandelier; they know how scary Chan gets when he’s immersed in a play.

“Then growl as if your life is depending on it. As if you’re pissed at Maurice for entering your castle. Look as if you’re about to roast someone on a grill,” Chan instructs assertively.

“There’s a stranger here,” Felix growls his words, sounding more daring and confident than his previous attempt.

Jisung, as Cogsworth, pipes in timely. “Master, I’d like to take this moment to say... I was against this from the start. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no, no! ” He finishes his lines without a glitch, and Chan seems somewhat content with the level of emotion and fear in his voice.

Felix growls again, right as Jisung finishes his words, following the script to the T.

Even then, Chan bellows, “Louder! Angrier! Yell at Jeongin like he deserves to be thrown into your dungeon! Be loud and don’t rely on the mics because they’re useless! ” He encourages him, the same training he received from Jaebum when he was new to the theatrical arts.

“Who are you! What are you doing here? ” he cries, shooting Jeongin a menacing glare.

Jeongin scoots his chair back, breaking the perfect circle as he pretends to cower in fear, teary-eyed. “I was in the woods and...”

You watch in awe beside Felix because you didn’t expect Jeongin to be such a good actor. He’s the youngest of the gang, but he was able to grasp Maurice’s character pretty quickly.

“You’re not welcome here!” Felix rages, standing up in the process to project his voice farther, feeling provoked by Chan. If he signed up with the intentions to play the Beast, then he’s going to be the Beast.

“I-I’m sorry,” the younger boy stutters, words slurring with hesitance.

Felix interrupts clamorously, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty auditorium. “What are you staring at?”

“Noth-noth-nothing!”

“So, you’ve come to stare at the beast, have you?” The Beast, or Felix, threatens, throwing his hands in the air as you watch quietly from his side. Even Changbin, the head of stage crew, is sitting on top of the step-ladder as he looks over the drama club’s commotion. Set management gets pretty boring after the first hour or two as demonstrated by Kim Seungmin using the staircase as a lounge chair and Lee Minho with his beanie pulled over his face by the walls of the castle.

“Please, I meant no harm! I just needed a place to stay.” Jeongin delivers his last line effortlessly, much to Chan’s approval.

“I’ll give you a place to stay! ” Felix rages before the scene fades out, threatening to throw Jeongin’s character into the dungeon.

Chan claps his hands together and announces happily, seeing that the Bang Chan Production is definitely coming together, and this was only the first rehearsal. “Felix, good job! You’re really good considering that this was your first run through of the script. Everyone, have a good evening, and we’ll resume this tomorrow! Dismissed!” he declares.

Felix slumps back onto his chair and leans his head back. He must be drained after a full day of school with rehearsal on top of that. A very memorable first day of school. “Y/N? Do you think I did okay?” he asks, head turning towards his right as he stares at you.

“You were amazing. Although you started off rusty, you really managed to grasp the character as you progressed. Chan really knows how to drill instructions into people, huh,” you comfort him.

Felix was better than you when you first joined the club because he wasn’t afraid to express himself through the words and actions of another character. He understood that it was okay to be dramatic because this was the fucking dramatic arts; it’s only a matter of if you’re dramatic enough. God, you wished that the freshman Y/N knew this.

“This needs to be memorized too. It shouldn’t be too bad considering we had to do A Streetcar Named Desire last year. That play was very wordy, and the plot was messy,” Jisung reassures Felix, giving him a small pat on his back.

He stuffs the thick script in his backpack and groans playfully. “At least this is sort of fun and rewarding. Unlike physics. I have thirty pages of reading due tomorrow, but am I going to read it? No.” Felix smiles bitterly at the only textbook he’s carrying.

You’ve only met him for a day, but you have a feeling that he was going to read it either way. Felix seems like a hardworking guy — not many people are willing to take on the main role of a play on their first day of school.

“Hyunjin, Jesus Christ,” you hiss at your phone only to receive messages of him apologizing. “I completely forgot that he had dance practice today. Jisung, lovebug, can you give me a ride home?”

“Oof, sorry Y/N. Changbin and I are gonna be working on some songs in the boba shop down the street. I mean, if you wanna tag along, it’s cool with me,” he offers as he shrugs lightly. The boba place was in the opposite direction of your house, you know that, and it’d be more convenient for both parties if you take the bus.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just take the bus then.” You mentally sigh because the buses in your city are renowned for running off schedule, especially this late.

Felix stands up and adjusts the straps on his backpack before asking quietly, “I can give you a ride home if you want. My car’s parked down the street.” Granted, he’d probably get lost at night without proper navigation anyway.

Your eyes light up, and your hands grab the sleeve of his hoodie excitedly. “Really? You’d do that for me? Then let’s go now. It’s only harder to drive through the bumpy roads at night,” you advise, remembering the first time your dad drove the narrow roads at 8 PM and almost made you late for the school play. Given, you were only a back-up in Mary Poppins, but a back-up is still a crucial part in the singing formation.

“My driving is rusty because your roads are gnarly compared to Australia’s,” he claims.

You throw a wave at Jisung and the remaining members only to see Jisung wink and blow kissy faces at you. Rolling your eyes, you ignore him and avert your attention back to Felix. “Sounds like you’re just making an excuse for your shitty driving,” you quip.

“Okay,” Felix acknowledges with a fake smile. “Walk home.”

“Did I say shitty? I meant splendid, superb, spectacular, stupendous–I’m running out of synonyms here,” you whine as you walk through the large doors leading you to the back entrance of the school.

He scoffs aloud, “I didn’t know that the vice president of the drama club could be such a two-face.”

“I am not two-faced! I take personal offense to that!”

Felix isn’t a terrible driver.

Well, he’s much better than you, at least, because you always forget to check for passing cars when you pull away from the curb.

On the way home, you ask, “Do you feel more confident now? After Chan’s guidance?” You know how intimidating the first rehearsal can be, and to this day, you remember the feeling like it was yesterday — the thought of giving up and running off stage even before it was your turn to read the lines. You know it all too well.

Felix puffs his cheeks and slowly lets out a long breath of air before answering. “More confident? Yes. But the lines will only get wordier as the character dynamic gets more complicated. What if... what if I don’t convey the emotions well and let everyone down?” He doubts himself.

“Hey,” you raise your voice. “It’s the first rehearsal. The Beast’s lines may get wordier, but you’re only going to get better. I can practice with you if you need me to and Chan as well. You think he’s going to let a Bang Chan Production fail? Only in his worst nightmares.”

The freckled boy beside you drives carefully in the night, the streets breezy and empty as his car turns into a more suburban part of the neighborhood. “You’ll practice with me?” Felix asks, glancing over at you momentarily before keeping his eyes on the road once more. He’s a safe enough driver, you guess.

“Doesn’t mean that I don’t come with a price. Pay up with food. This is expensive,” you continue, referring to yourself as you suppress a laugh.

“Ugh, you’re wrecking my wallet,” he complains, following Google Maps with your inputted your address. Felix pulls up in your driveway in front of your dad’s favorite bonsai tree, careful not to chip off any of the dangling leaves.

It’s the middle of winter, and the tree’s dying anyway; you really don’t know why your dad loves the old tree so much. Either way, Felix is extra mindful not to accidentally crash into one of the branches, and you can mentally see your dad crying in happiness.

“I don’t even eat that much, mind you,” you say before climbing out of his car. “Thanks for the ride, Felix. I feel like I should be inviting you in for a bowl of soup or something.” Your heart does a little zing when the words leave your mouth. After a day, only one day, and you’re already inviting him inside as if he’s Hyunjin or Jisung.

“That actually sounds great. It’s actually my parents’ anniversary today, so it’s a leftovers kind of dinner for me,” Felix agrees automatically, much to your surprise. “I mean... if you insist... I don’t mean to intrude or anything,” he stutters near the end of the sentence. Again, he remembers that he’s only met you for a day.

You shiver at the cold winter air, your gold-stained cashmere sweater defenseless against the wind. “Come in before I change my mind,” you joke, running towards your front door as you fetch the spare keys hidden underneath one of the fifty decorative boulders.

Felix turns off the engine and quickly stuffs his car keys in the pocket of his hoodie, hopping out of the driver’s seat as he follows you like a puppy. It’s almost kind of cute.

“It’s a bit messy, sorry. My parents are probably still at work, the medical business, you know? High, high demand,” you declare as you open the door to your dimly lit living room. One lamp is on, and that’s enough to give the first floor an ample amount of lighting. You set your backpack by the small foyer before the staircase, and Felix does the same, taking in the sight of your home.

Felix immediately recognizes the familiar scent, the same one that filled his car when you entered. It smells a little fruity and a little sweet as if you’ve been to a vineyard and taken a stroll among the many grapevines in summer. Weird explanation but strangely intoxicating. In front of him is your kitchen, and he can’t help but notice how well loved it is, how much time your parents had spent in there despite working graveyard shifts. The towels are all worn out, dishes newly washed piled up on the rack, and a display of Tupperware all over the countertops. He thinks that it’s really smart to cook at home and not endure mediocre hospital cafeteria food.

“It can’t be messier than mine. I still have cardboard boxes laying around,” he defends, falling back on your coffee-brown L-shaped couch. The royal blue and yellow quilt draped on top of it catches his eye, soft underneath his fingers. “Did someone make this?”

“Don’t even, Felix. You literally just moved,” you say as you walk towards the kitchen to heat up leftover soup from last night. “Yeah, my grandma made it. It’s neat, right?”

“Very neat. Reminds me of the costumes they’re making us wear,” he chuckles, scrolling through his phone. “Y/N. Wifi password.”

Rolling your eyes, you cross your arms from the kitchen, your back against the countertop. “What makes you think that I’m going to give away my wifi password to some stranger I barely met today?” You appeal playfully, voice lighthearted.

Felix laughs in disbelief, leaning back against your couch. “I mean, you already let a stranger inside your house. Not to mention that the stranger also took you home. Also, the stranger is pretty familiar with the plotline of Beauty and the Beast and happens to play the Beast. So naturally, along the lines somewhere, there’s a kiss sc–”

“THE PASSWORD IS TRUFFLES,” you blurt out of embarrassment, burying your face in your palms. “God, Felix. I hate you.”

He’s even worse than Hyunjin. It’s official.

The insufferable smug look on his face only grows bigger as he checks his notifications. “Thanks, Y/N,” he smirks. “But about the offer in the car? You’re still up for helping me rehearse?”

“I’ll consider it,” you change your mind, deciding to get him back for the teasing.

“You’re really allowing me to fuck up a Bang Chan Production? I don’t even know how to sing...”

“Well, I guess you better start singing in the shower then.”

Felix gives you a very unimpressed look from the living room, and you merely laugh it off, cupping a bowl of piping hot chicken soup in your hands. “Okay, okay. I’ll help you rehearse on weekends so you don’t get yelled at by Chan,” you give in because he’s looking at you with those Puss in Boots kitty eyes.

vi.

The next few weeks of school are hectic; between balancing school work, the play, and volunteering hours, your schedule is completely packed. The only free time you have is on the weekends, and even then, it revolves around the script.

Not that you’re complaining, of course.

“Papa. Oh, no. he’s sick, he may be dying. And he’s all alone,” you read off the script quietly, keeping in mind not to scare off the customers around you. Maybe a boba shop wasn’t the best place for a script run-through. It’s the magic mirror scene, and you’re holding a spoon in your hands from Felix’s coffee.

“Then... then you must go to him,” Felix says, struggling to stay in character as he looks up at you.

You take a quick sip of your jasmine milk tea and shake your head gently. “No, Felix. Say it with more of a heartbroken expression. There’s a prop, remember? Stare at the rose on your plate and don’t meet my eyes.”

He lets out a small breath, but continues, staring passionately at the fork on the plate. Changbin’s taking forever on the props, so a dessert fork was the next best thing. “Then... then you must go to him,” Felix continues, this time successfully channeling his emotions as his face shows dejection and longing.

“What did you say?” you gasp in disbelief, meeting his eyes although he fails to meet yours intentionally.

“I release you. You are no longer my prisoner,” Felix reads briefly, finally able to lock eyes with you. His eyes are glossy, outshining his freckles, and for the fifth time this week, your heart flips.

“You mean... I’m free?” You pretend to be amazed, hand dropping lightly on the sleeve of Felix’s bomber jacket.

Felix furrows his brows at you. “Wait, Y/N. For this part, am I supposed to look at you or look away?” He asks you with such hesitation, like a little boy asking for permission to attend his friend’s first ever sleepover. The answer is always no, by the way. Strict parents.

In this case, you say, “Do whatever you want. This script was written by a random writer and a Disney fanatic. You can look between the lines and make this play your own because they are no guidelines. There’s only one of you in this world, so imagine you outshining all the other actors who played the Beast. The spotlight’s yours.”

Felix nods before resuming the script. “Yes,” he continues, eyes dropping down to his lap.

“Oh, thank you,” you interject as you stare at the spoon (magic mirror) in your hand. “Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.” Then, you push the spoon into Felix’s hand.

“Take it with you, so you’ll always have a way to look back, and remember me,” Felix says quietly, completely immersed into the script. It stuns you how much he’s improved since the last rehearsal where Chan was practically teaching him how to slow dance by slow dancing with him forcefully.

You hold your hand to his cheek and brush it gently with the pad of your thumb. “Thank you for understanding how much he needs me,” you sigh in relief.

On the outside, you were very composed because you were Belle for the time being. On the inside, you were mentally screaming at yourself for initiating skinship in the middle of a boba cafe. Literally, anyone could look over right now and think that you two were on a date. Two teenagers bonding over silverware — who are they to judge.

Felix places his hand on top of yours and gives you a sort of sad smile. God, that was Not On The Script. You told him to improvise, but you did not expect him to catch on it this quickly. Your heart’s beating is evident in your ears, and you feel your cheeks growing red.

“U-Um, let’s work on the next scene.” You clear your throat as Felix releases your hand.

He responds with an endearing smile, eyes crinkling into crescent moons as his laughter fills the air. Felix is like a breath of fresh air from the constant demands of the dramatic arts. “Am I good or what?” he infers cockily. His confidence level is in outer space, a stark contrast from the Converse Boy you met a few weeks back.

“You’re alright,” you lie. You had to because you’re not retrieving his ego from Mars.

“Admit it. You were taken back. I could see it in your eyes,” Felix chirps annoyingly. “Also... I don’t think that this is a good location to work on the next scene.” He flips a few pages back to show you his highlighted parts, a big block in neon pink.

The kiss scene. You’ve forgotten all about it.

You puff your lower lip out and decide to call it a day because there was no way you could kiss him without Chan in the room, as bizarre as that sounds. It’ll be all too real. Too real if you kiss him outside of stage rehearsal. It’s already evident that your feelings are growing for the freckled boy. If you spend ten hours every day with someone you’re mildly attracted to, those meek feelings will only branch off into something more.

Quickly, you draw up an excuse. “Yeah, we have to do it at rehearsal tomorrow. Stage crew needs to rehearse as well. Minho’s still figuring out how to work that fog machine,” you tell Felix. “We’ll wing it tomorrow.”

The waiter swings by and slips a check onto your table, and Felix automatically takes out his card and places it on the tray before getting up from his seat. “Winging it sounds good. I have a stats project with Seungmin in thirty minutes, but I told him I’d drop you back home first,” he reminds you.

“You really don’t have to. I can always just take the bus,” you babble for the sake of a light objection. You’re not going to lie: you were expecting him to give you a ride back.

“Okay. Take the bus. See you tomorrow, Y/N,” Felix responds simply, giving his card to the cashier up front.

Your jaw drops, and you’re ready to throw hands. Pouting, you kick the back of his black Converse lightly. “You’re supposed to object with good intentions and offer me a ride back regardless of what I say. Jerk,” you huff.

“Hey, you offered the take the bus back after I said I would give you a ride. Saving me that gas money.” He plays dumb, but obviously, he gets the social cues. Felix just likes to mess with you, and you’re not sure if you hate it or like it. Though, you do feel a little special that he only acts this way towards you.

“Ugh, do you even know how to act in a civilized society? Are you a barbarian? You’re supposed to offer me a ride either way. Gosh, you’re so frustrating!”

“Get in the car before I change my mind.”

Touché.

vii.

Changbin and his gang of lazy, uncoordinated, constantly complaining stage crew students do a wonderful job on the set each year; it’s seriously not news, but it still manages to blow you away every time.

Right now, there’s the notorious golden staircase where half of the castle scenes take place, decorated with pieces of antique, Victorian furniture Minho acquired from the drama teacher and her hoarding tendencies. Who knows? They might be real, for all you know. The props are all finalized by Seungmin, and the forest and village backdrops are currently monitored by Changbin. Minho’s given up on the smoke machine, so Changbin’s just pulling on the wires to make some sense of it. The thing that amazes you the most is the Greek Colosseum-esque arbor Seungmin designed for the Beast’s transformation on the balcony. It’s heavy and bulky, requires the rest of the stage crew to lift it, potentially dangerous and not time efficient. But who cares because it’s beautiful. It’s a recycling of an old woodshop student’s mini garden pavilion, and because the design’s already there, all Seungmin had to do was spray paint it white, add marbling, and throw on some strategically placed fake flowers.

The stage is magical, but the play...

“You came back,” Felix says with effort as he lays injured on the balcony.

“Of course I came back. I couldn’t let them... oh this all my fault. If only I’d gotten here sooner,” you cry, cradling him on your lap. You decide the brush the soft brown locks away from his face, revealing his half-lidded eyes.

Chan’s monitoring the scene with an eagle’s eye, and Woojin emerges from backstage after falling off the cliff (offstage) to watch the scene. You definitely feel the pressure on your shoulders.

“Maybe it’s better this way,” Felix replies, voice cracking. He stares up into your eyes as you hold him close to your body.

“Don’t talk like that. You’ll be all right. We’re together now. Everything’s going to be fine. You’ll see,” you sob onto his chest, bending your back. Tears welled up in your eyes before you knew it, and you didn’t even have to force them or use eye drops. Felix makes it very easy for you to get into character almost like you’ve built a sort of mutual trust bond with him.

“At least I got to see you one... last... time.” Felix’s breaths are labored as he holds a hand up to your cheek, cupping it gingerly. He holds it there for a second, then drops it as his head lolls back, eyelids fluttering shut.

You gasp and shake him softly, hands firmly planted on his chest and shoulder; tears are flowing down your cheeks at this point. “No, no! Please! Please! Please don’t leave me! I love you! ” you confess with what strength you had left.

In the background, Changbin struggles with the fog machine as Minho gets up from the cozy spot on the side of the castle. He slams the top with his fists in frustration. He’s tech manager, for fuck’s sake, and he’s not letting a stupid fog machine get the best of his abilities.

That happens to do the job, and the entire stage is enveloped by an aggressive puff of smoke. You cough and bat your hands at the overwhelming amount of smoke, and Felix resurrects only to have himself suffocated by fog.

“What in the world just happened?” he asks, sitting up from your lap as his eyes attempt to sort out the space around him.

“Minho got the fog machine to work a little too well,” you grumble as you bat at the fog away like a madman, sniffling in the process because you were just finishing up a sobbing scene where your lover dies.

“STAY CALM,” Chan ensures the cast. “FELIX AND Y/N RESUME THE SCENE AFTER THE SMOKE CLEARS. MINHO, I SWEAR...”

Minho waves if off casually and walks back to his nest by the side of the castle walls. The machine works, so he doesn’t know why Chan’s complaining. Good work can’t be appreciated sometimes.

“Okay,” Chan speaks up as soon as the fog clears. “Felix, you’re human again. Resume the lines leading up to the kiss scene.”

Two more lines until you kiss him.

You may have avoided it back at the boba shop, but now that Chan’s in the room, on stage, during a stage rehearsal with the entire theatre club watching, there’s no backing out.

“Right,” Felix mumbles to himself as he lays back down on the balcony (arbor) to gather his thoughts and emotions. He opens his eyes slowly. “Belle! It’s me! ” he beams with bright eyes, sitting up.

You take an extra second to yourself to get back into character, turning around in a seated position. You stare at the Beast skeptically, almost in disbelief that he had just transformed into a human, but as soon as you meet his eyes, you realize that it’s him (the Beast).

“It is you! ” you proclaim, and your heart feels like it’s about to explode any second now.

From the corner of your vision, Seungmin’s on the edge of his seat, anticipating the next scene. Changbin’s such an ass for having his camera out and recording the entire thing from the front row.

As Chan had instructed him, “to kiss freely and passionately”, Felix grabs your face and snatches your lips in a desperate kiss. Like lovers after being separated for ages, traveled through several worlds to reunite, endured life or death situations, he kisses you.

His lips linger on yours for a bit before you tilt your head to latch back onto him, hands gripping his shoulders surely. It’s quite timid for an on-stage kiss, but it’s a rehearsal, so you decide that it’s okay. Felix’s lips are soft and warm against yours, and his hands drift up to your cheekbones and into the locks of your hair before he decides to break the kiss.

“Wow,” Chan utters, shocked at the kiss scene. “CUT!”

Seems like Felix did take his advice after all, and he’s proud of it. “Good job crew! We only have one more scene to run-through tomorrow, and then a dress rehearsal the following week before the actual performance.”

Hyunjin walks up to the both of you still seated on stage. “Damn. Did you guys rehearse that? It’s like I was watching some Romeo and Juliet shit. I’m angry that none of you told me about this,” he complains and crosses his arms over his chest after tossing you your backpack.

“Nope, but guys I really need to go now. I have a job interview at the bookstore down the street for a summer gig. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says hurriedly. Felix flashes you a freckled smile, pats your shoulder before swinging his gray backpack over his shoulder, and jumps off the stage. He runs towards the big, lanky auditorium doors and pushes them open, a ray of sunset hitting your eyes.

“So an impromptu kiss, how romantic. Wipe that stupid smile off your face, Y/N,” Hyunjin says monotonously. “How much do you want to scream in the restroom right now?”

“A good eleven,” you say, cheeks tinted pink. It’s your first kiss, and it’s definitely not awkward and shabby like you imagined your first kiss to be. Like all first kisses should be. It’s the perfect amount of tenderness and affection, making your head grow dizzy. The worst part is, it’s all fake because it’s written in the script. It wasn’t voluntary, so ultimately, it’s meaningless.

Although an actor, you’re clueless to as how other actors do it. How they maintain platonic feelings when their partner kisses them like that. Maybe you’re just a defect with an annoying bug crawling its way to your heart as it slowly manifests your entire system.

Hyunjin laughs, “You’re a sucker for him, aren’t you?”

“I’m offended,” you claim.

Felix is a little prick, someone who games more than he actually works. Whines like there’s no tomorrow and drinks more coffee than Seungmin does. Your friend group’s a cohesive mess, but Felix overshadows the crowd of overbearing, geeky gamers who spend way too much time online. Honestly, you don’t know what you see in him, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. The way his face beams when you compliment his performance. The way his eyes form crinkles when he finally gets it right. The way his smile brightens up the entire stage. He’s breathtaking.

“I’m fuming,” you say bitterly. It’s not right for you to fall for your co-star. Chan’s been in like, a hundred plays, and you don’t see him dating anyone from the cast. It’s highly unprofessional, and Felix probably thinks of you as a friend. Or maybe he has someone back in Australia and is doing some long distance shit. Maybe that’s why he’s online all the time.

“Because you like him,” Hyunjin singsongs. He leads for to his car for the first time in forever because he’s finally free to give you a ride back. Hyunjin reads you like an open book, and he knows that you’re the most stubborn person in the entire world when it comes to admitting your feelings. He calls it denial, but you call it a coping mechanism.

You refuse to indulge your best friend because he’s right. He’s always been right, and you hate it.

viii.

The final song comes to a close and the lights dim, courtesy of Minho on lighting, to a round of applause from the audience, and curtains draw close after the entire cast, crew, and orchestra take a full ninety-degree bow.

Stage crew is completely exhausted as Changbin lays on top of Seungmin who lays on top of Minho who reclines on two other bodies, strands of hair stuck to their foreheads glistening in perspiration. God, the cast members may be exhausted, but no one has it as bad as backstage does. They’re the ones who physically maneuver the backdrops and monitor all the effects. Without them, the play lacks perpetually all the necessary components of a play.

Chan thanks the orchestra in the pit, the stage crew members, and finally the cast members before his “graduation” speech. He’s the star now because the Bang Chan Production’s a success. Even the local newspaper company purchased tickets to see this play, and they’re completely astonished to see a newbie actor take on the role of the Beast.

You sigh in content, sticking the cool bottle of water on your forehead as you head backstage to take a breather. The dressing rooms are filled, and you can hear Hyunjin screaming at Jisung as he attempts to unbutton the back of his shirt. Jisung screams back, and Woojin grunts as Jeongin accidentally knocks over a chair when he takes his wig off. You don’t even know how he did it, and you’re not planning to ask either.

It’s a true disaster backstage. Though exhausting, you wouldn’t exchange it for a single thing because you love the dramatic arts.

“Hey,” Felix says from behind you. He’s still in his prince outfit, and his eyes are sparkling with gold eyeshadow, looking like a million bucks. “You... um, you did great.”

“You’re not so bad yourself too. Especially for your first time in front of an audience,” you praise him. Felix really did an outstanding job. There were moments where he showed hesitation, and you could tell, all you had to do was hold his hand, and he managed to slip back into character. It’s done with such nuance that no one could even tell. Again, there’s a mutual trust and reassurance system between the two of you, and that is the most valuable thing you gained from this production.

He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, a habit of his you have noticed. “I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, Y/N,” he says gratefully.

Underneath the dim backstage lighting, he’s glowing. “It’s not a big deal. I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me. What are friends for, right?” you ask timidly, almost as if you were unsure yourself.

“Right.” Felix gives you the same breathtaking smile the same way he always does. “You have a ride home?” he asks you.

“Lumière’s in the changing room, but he’s dropping me off on the way. Are you going home in that ?” you chuckle a little, referring to his sparkly, stuffy eighteenth-century French royalty outfit.

Jennie’s in charge of outfits, and she might have gone overboard with the bedazzling. Your hair’s all glittery from hugging and dancing with Felix.

Felix does a full body groan and slouches his shoulders like he’s dreading something. “My mom insists on taking pictures outside the school’s auditorium. Which reminds me, I have to get going. I’ll see you later on? We’re still down on the group study thing on Monday right?” He wonders before he’s dashing down the stairs of the stage.

You give him a small nod, feeling almost sort of empty. “Yeah, my house after school,” you only confirm.

He gives you a full hug before he runs off. “I’ll see you then,” he mumbles softly. Felix lets go of your embrace but keeps you close, noses almost brushing, faces still, and you could feel the ghost feeling of his lips lingering above yours. His lashes are fluttering softly like feathers curling up in a fire ambience, and you’re able to make out the freckles scattered across his cheeks despite being in crappy lighting. Felix is wondrous.

You take a silent but sharp intake of breath, your lungs forgetting how to breathe, like you’ve been climbing a steep mountain. The proximity, his hand on the small of your back, his light cologne mixed with artificial polyester. It’s almost too familiar. Only this time — it’s real. Not staged. Not in the presence of others. And that terrifies you.

Then, Felix decides to take a step back, and you stop hallucinating.

“See you later,” you respond quietly, missing his warmth.

He gives you a small wave before pushing the curtains aside, rushing down the side of the stage in his sparkly French robes.

You’re standing in the dark, like the dramatic character you are, wondering how much of a mistake it was to fall for your co-star. Felix shines everywhere he goes, literally (because of his glittery stage outfit) and metaphorically.

You can’t believe that you have to wait a whole weekend to see him again because you’re so used to seeing him every day of the week. What the hell were you supposed to do on weekends now?

ix.

yongbok (12:15 AM): hello are you awake?

yongbok (12:16 AM): helllooooooooo

yongbok (12:17 AM): are you serious? you’re asleep already?

y/n (12:18 AM): i’m brushing my teeth... what?

yongbok (12:19 AM): i can’t do this

y/n (12:20 AM): what are you doing exactly...

yongbok (12:21 AM): open the door

y/n (12:21 AM): wtf are you doing out there AT MIDNIGHT

yongbok (12:22 AM): just open the door, it’s cold

y/n (12:22 AM): istg my parents will kill me if they here you

y/n (12:22 AM): *hear

The hallways are dead silent other than the soft snores of your parents and the light clicks of your brother’s desktop mouse. The kid really needs to stop gaming so often or else your parents are really going to pay for his LASIK eye surgery. You softly make your way downstairs by flashing your phone’s flashlight so you don’t end up tripping over your own feet, because you’ve done it before and certainly will do it again.

Slowly, you open the door, just a slither, only to see Felix with a hood over his head, hands stuffed inside the pocket of his white hoodie.

“Felix,” you whispered harshly. “Couldn’t this have waited until tomorrow? What’s so important that you must tell me n–”

The limits of Felix’s patience happens to be the moment where you wouldn’t stop scolding him about showing up at your house in the middle of the night. Fair enough, normal people wouldn’t do this, but he needs to tell you something. Urgently.

So he swiftly slices the distance between the two of you and latches onto your mouth. This time for real. No script. No stage. No Chan yelling in his ear asking him “to kiss passionately and freely”. Felix’s hands clutch your sides gently but firmly in place, adamant that he would not chicken out from confessing again; not that he intends to anyway after pulling this stunt.

It’s such an instinct for you to return the kiss, this time genuinely, as you match his passion with the perfect pace, your head completely intoxicated and light-headed. You place your palms on the side of his face before intertwining your fingers behind his neck so you could pull him a little closer. Terrifying, you admit, but at least you know that it’s real.

The door is left ajar as Felix presses you closer to the side of the wall, kissing you one last time before he breaks it.

You take the few stolen seconds to wander your curious eyes over his, and he’s absolutely breathtaking underneath the winter moonlight. Shadows cascade perfectly down his nose bridge to his cupid’s bow, and finally, it refines the sharp edges of his jaw. He’s like one of Da Vinci’s paintings come to life, and you’re betting that he meets the Golden Ratio of beauty, of divinity. He outshines the stars in the obsidian sky, and it’s incredibly miraculous.

“Hi,” he says breathlessly, hands still on your side as your back presses against the wall.

“The play’s over, and this isn’t a rehearsal kiss,” you remind him as the corner of your lips tilt up into a small smile.

Felix chuckles lightly, his deep voice echoing in your ears. “Definitely not a rehearsal kiss. I’m not the Beast, and you’re not Belle. It’s a real kiss. In real life. Outside of your house. On your front porch,” he addresses timidly.

“This really couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?” You pick at him, your lips scrunching in mock disapproval. You’re in your pajamas and the heel of your foot is nearly frostbitten in the chilly weather, but all of that is irrelevant because your insides are fuzzy with warmth.

“Nope. I couldn’t sleep,” Felix states without hesitation. “I just didn’t want this to come to an end after the play ends. The acting is all make-believe but underneath all that... I think I may have developed real feelings for you.”

“Hmmm... but that’s so unprofessional. To fall for a co-star,” you tease lightly. You watch Felix roll his eyes because you’re such a little hypocrite.

Felix decreases the distance between the two of you and says in a low voice. “You’re the one who kissed me back. I think we’re equally as unprofessional,” he makes clear.

You capture his lips again to make sure that you’re kissing Felix and not the Beast, without the script being your only excuse for kissing him. He’s so much more than a character in a storybook, so more than that. More than just a privileged prince.

For starters, Felix has a diamond heart, one so precious and clear that you’re just awestruck. There were so many instances where he could have just quit with the excuse that he’s a new actor and completely uncomfortable with being on stage with no previous experience in the dramatic arts, but what stuns you is, he didn’t.

Felix worked twice as hard as everyone else did, and if you were to lay out his script on the floor, every single page would be filled with his poor penmanship, his ugly but useful notes. He loses sleep at night to memorize lines because he’s the main lead, the success of the play resting on his shoulders. Easily, he could have offered the role to someone like Jeongin or Woojin, who are both more experienced than he is, but he kept it and morphed the Beast into himself. Felix absorbs constructive criticism like a sponge and continues to better himself without a single complaint. In the end, he’s only a better version of himself.

And that’s the most fucking attractive thing ever.

2K notes · View notes

starryseo · 5 years

Text

torn. | han jisung + lee felix

pairing ↠ jisung x gender neutral!reader, felix x gn!reader

genre ↠ fluff? bit angsty- royalty au!

wc ↠ 5501

summary ↠ how can one follow their heart when it’s split in two?

warnings ↠ none!

a/n ↠ instead of writing 2 different fics for their bdays i’ve given u the best of both worlds :) enjoy :)

being the only heir to the throne was extremely difficult

you had to go through so many different classes, formal events and gatherings in a single day

and it was vvv stressful

your parents insisted on you joining in on their meetings with other higher-ups so you could understand how to deal with each person

and although you knew it was only going to benefit you when you inevitably took over

you really just wanted a break

time alone was so fleeting and you hated that

whenever you had time to relax or enjoy yourself, you’d be too tired to actually do so properly

as much as you enjoyed some of the lessons, like archery (your personal trainer minho was definitely a Sight to see) and cookery (bc mrs han would always let you eat the food you made)

it was extremely tiring and you wished for just one day where you could do absolutely nothing

you always envied the people that werent of your status, people that didnt (quite literally) have a kingdom thrust upon their shoulders

they got to enjoy the finer things in life: normal conversations with their families; they could go out wherever, buy things for themselves and admire the country’s scenery

instead, you were stuck with only ever having meetings with your parents to discuss upcoming deals, people showering you with unwanted gifts to woo you over, and accompanied walks out into your garden

you couldn’t even walk in your own garden alone

there was, however, one special thing that you did look forward to seeing everyday

and that came in the form of an 18 year old boy

han jisung.

han jisung was as close to perfection you thought anyone could get

having practically grown up with the boy, you thought you knew everything there was to know about him

and vice versa, of course

he was your confidant

the only one you could go to when your stress was too high and you had no idea how to cope

he’d seen you through a lot of bad days but his smile alone could always brighten up your mood

he was extremely caring

always putting your needs before his own despite you insisting he treats you as an equal

you knew he didn’t do it bc of your status, it really was just how he was as a person

even to complete strangers, he was always so nice, helping them out without a care

you really wondered how he could be so carefree when outside the castle

this one time he had snuck you out of the castle during your lesson with him

you looked so sad when you came to the stable for your horseriding lesson and his heart ached as soon as he saw your frown

and almost instantly he knew what to do!!

since your horseriding lessons took place inside the castle, your bodyguard didn’t stay with you, entrusting jisung with your safety instead

and he decided that an impromptu trip to the great Outside was exactly what you needed!

so, sneaking out through the back of the stables, donning jisung’s jacket, hat and a face mask, you both escaped the castle

this side of the castle was for the common people that worked inside, like the maids, chefs, stableboys, and when mrs han, your favourite cookery teacher and also jisung’s mum, saw you trying to leave, she simply smiled, waving for the common guards to let you through

he shot a thankful grin at his mum before grabbing your hand, taking you out of the castle

when he wasnt training you and the horses, he spent his time going out of the castle, bringing back small things from his adventures

you didn’t like people showering you with riches, but the small flowers and hand-made bracelets jisung brought back were exceptions to that

he weaved expertly through the hustle and bustle, taking you to a quaint cafe nearby

your grip on his hand tightened - what if people recognised you? word would spread and you would be in so much trouble!

yet, as soon as jisung rubbed your hand soothingly, turning to give you a reassuring smile, all your worries vanished

this cafe was one you frequented (when you escaped your royal walls with jisung)

so when changbin, the owner’s son, saw jisung and a ridiculously-disguised figure (you) walk in, he snickered, ushering you two over into the backroom

he snuck some food and hot drinks to you both during his shift as you snuck away

although you always had to be on alert, jisung’s relaxed demeanour rubbed off on you

you enjoyed doing things like this with him, not caring about your next lesson, or the plethora of princes/esses you had to impress next

you loved just sitting on the floor with him, sharing a plate of cookies and all your secrets

“thank you for this, ji” you sighed, leaning your back against the wall as you sipped on your drink

“don’t worry ‘bout it!” you scrunched your nose when he grinned, cookie crumbs lining the corner of his lips

you raised your hand to wipe away the crumbs, but as soon as your finger touched him, he jumped back

“how indecent, sunshine! the royal highness touching someone as lowly as me? what would your parents say?”

you rolled your eyes at his joke, leaning your head on his shoulder

“you, lowly? you’re better than nearly everyone in that castle, ji”

“what do you mean ‘nearly’? i thought i was your best friend!” he nudged you, a massive pout on his face

“well, you are my best friend, but that’s nothing compared to minho’s face, seriously,,,”

“yeah, im definitely telling your parents this now”

“hey i was joking,” you smiled, poking his side so he would laugh instead of pouting more, “you’re my favourite person in that castle”

“hey lovebirds, shouldn’t you be heading back to the castle?” changbin popped into the kitchen, hanging up his apron, “you’ve been here for almost an hour”

at that, both your and jisung’s carefree attitudes were gone like the wind, eyes wide and bodies rigid as you realised you had to leave. now.

as quickly as you both could, you ran out of the cafe

you don’t know when jisung reached back to hold your hand, pulling you along with him, but a sudden warmth filled you, and you were sure it wasn’t bc of the unexpected exercise

you arrived just a split second before guards had come into the common house, demanding to know where you were since you weren’t waiting by the stables like usual

“i’m fine, i was just a bit hungry so i asked mrs han for some food!”

your bodyguard nodded at that, waiting for you start walking so he could guard you

just as he went ahead to open the doors, you turned around, waving wildly at jisung who was already returning the gesture, and you mouthed a quick ‘thank you!’ before following your guard back to the castle grounds

han jisung was like a sunrise, you always thought

not only because he could brighten your days with the smallest of smiles, but because he was a wisp of fresh air from your tedious life

he always had a trick up his sleeve, something new and surprising to ignite your life, just like the sun rose and breathed life into everything it shone down upon

whenever you saw him, you were sure you could literally see him glow, a heavenly light outlining him because there was no way on earth jisung was anything less than an angel

he was, in simple terms, stunning

even tho he couldnt understand exactly what you went through on a daily basis, he tried so hard to relate to you, knowing exactly what to do to make you feel better

and for that, you couldn’t be more grateful

weeks had passed and your life went as it normally did until one thursday evening

the dining room was filled with its usual quietude, cutlery clinking against plates as you ate your food in peace

although you wished your parents would speak up more, ask you how your day went and not be so focussed on business, you took notice of their tired eyes and held-back yawns

nonetheless, you enjoyed simply being in their presence without deadlines looming over you and the constant nagging from your counsellors

just as you were about to break the silence your father spoke up

he cleared his throat to catch your attention before speaking, “tomorrow, the royal family from our sister country will be coming over to stay”

“o-oh? why?” you furrowed your eyebrows at your father’s announcement

it had been a while since you had last seen that family alone

of course you saw them whenever your family held large events but they hadn’t visited, and stayed over, at your castle in a while

“conflict has been rising at the borders, and you know we cannot be having wars start between our countries”

you nodded and your father continued eating, ending the talk there

you headed straight to bed after that, but you found it hard to sleep because your mind kept wondering back to the family that were arriving soon

or, more specifically, the prince

lee felix.

you woke up grumpily the next morning, having stayed up a few hours later than usual simply because you couldnt sleep

the knocking at your door was getting louder and you could barely hear your maid, hana, yell out your name

grumbling, you got out of bed, pulling open the door. “what’s the matter hana?”

“your highness, the lee family has arrived, why aren’t you ready?”

“i just woke up-”

“oh goodness!” you watched her panic, stuttering something about how your parents would have her head for your lateness, eyes wide in fear, and you laughed to ease her worries

“hana, please, calm down. i’ll wash up, but could you get my clothes?”

she nodded before scurrying off to piece together your attire and accessories

and you made the quickest run ever to get yourself cleaned and presentable

of all days to oversleep, you sighed, shaking your head to push away your fatigue

you groaned at the clothes hana haid lain out on your bed; they looked uncomfortably rich and you couldnt wait to get out of them already

you tried to walk into the dining hall as quietly as possible, but the conversation that was going on stopped as soon as you entered, 5 pairs of eyes on you the second you stepped past the door

you walked forward, bowing your head and greeting the family in front of you, them returning the gesture

king lee smiled as you sat down, joking, “how nice of you to finally join us!”

you stuttered out an apology, looking away nervously, but he shook his head to dismiss your worries

your eyes flittered to felix who was sitting in the seat furthest away from you

he was already looking at you, smiling when you caught his eye and you adored how his eyes crinkled at the corners

you had zoned out as the adults talked and, occasionally, when you and felix made eye contact, he’d pull a weird face

you bit your lips to hold back your laugh but he joined you in grinning

after finishing breakfast, your mother proposed you take felix on a tour of the house as the adults talked over the issues at hand

"anywhere you’d like to go in particular?”

“surprise me, your highness” he nudged your side, eyes eagerly wandering around the halls of your home

you rolled your eyes at what he called you, “since when have you been the formal type?”

he shrugged, smirking, “just thought it was fitting,” he winked at you before walking ahead, “let’s go to the gardens!”

“thought you wanted me to surprise you...” you mumbled, picking up your pace to catch up with him

he waited by the doors leading outside, just so he could hold them open for you and when you thanked him, he let out a teasing, “anything for you, your highness”

“i have a name for a reason, felix, please use it”

“but i like calling you ‘your highness’, your highness”

“it sounds so... so weird though, we’ve known each other since we were kids, we practically grew up together”

“better get used to it then, your royal highness”

you let out a horrid groan at his insistence on the nickname

if there was one thing you remembered about felix

it was that he was stubborn as anything

when you were kids this trait usually transferred into competitiveness and a desire to constantly beat you - he would always beg for rematches if you ever beat him

now his persisting nature made you want to poke him until he stopped, but, since he was your guest, you would try to hold off on doing that for as long as you could

“oh, you remember jisung, right?” you asked, leading him down a familiar path

when you were younger and felix visited, the 2 of you would play outside in the garden and then sneak away to the common area to play with jisung too

the visits became infrequent as you grew older, but jisung was always acting as a waiter at formal events, so the 2 boys still would have seen each other around the castle

“of course i do”

it was a normal reply, and yet you sensed some sort of underlying bitterness when he said that because the ever-present smile on his face wilted slightly at the mention of the other boy

you brushed it off as you overanalysing - felix really had no reason to hate jisung, and you’d never seen the 2 of them fight, nor had either come to you, complaining about the other

you led him to the common house, knocking on the door to the entrance, before going in

you greeted the people lounging around there, snickering slightly as they rushed to welcome felix in properly

you noticed how some of the staff blushed as felix smiled at them, nervously giggling in front of him and you cringed slightly

you held back your laguh as they grew nervous in his presence, but he didn’t seem to mind, his grin growing larger as though he knew what effect he was having on them

“hey mrs han, where’s ji?”

“good morning, your highnesses, he went out to get some food, he should be coming back soon”

“is it alright if we wait here for him?”

“of course!” she smiled, eyes tired but still shining - you admired her pure enthusiasm and the hard work she put into everything she did

she swatted off the other workers that were lazing around so you could sit down

“it’s a pleasure to see you again, prince felix,” mrs han said, placing a plate of warm cookies on the small table in front of you

“the pleasure is all mine, mrs han,” felix beamed, “and might i say, you look like you haven’t aged since the last time i saw you!”

“you are too kind, my prince,” she laughed at his compliment, “he’s a keeper, isn’t he, y/n?”

felix turned to you when mrs han said that, throwing you an exaggerated wink

“he’s a real catch,” you said, voice monotoned and he nudged you at your lack of enthusiasm

“c’mon your highness,” felix teased, lifting your hand to press a kiss in the back before ending with a wink, “admit it.”

you dont know why your hand warmed at the contact, nor why you felt a weird fluttery feeling in your stomach at the overused action, yet you didn’t exactly hate what you were going through

before you could reply, you heard someone clear their throat to break the conversation

“ji!” you exclaimed, jumping from your seat, “felix is here!”

“so it seems,” he murmured, eyes unmoving from felix’s face

you turned to felix, only to see him staring straight back at jisung, eyes unblinking

you looked at mrs han, raising a brow, confused at their awkward behaviour, and she just shook her head, mumbling, “boys...” before grabbing the bags from jisung’s hands and walking off

“alright,” you clapped, breaking both boys out of their stare-off, “let’s go outside!”

“you two go ahead, i’ve got something to do,” jisung murmured

“please, ji, we came here just for you,” you pouted, pulling his wrist to make him join you

“i’ll come later, i swear, y/n,” he replied, lightly squeezing your hand in promise

you nodded before leaving with felix, but you couldnt help feel something was off about him

he hadn’t called you by your name in years.

you and felix had decided to stay outside, sitting on one of the benches just to catch up with each other

mrs han had, kindly enough, sent someone over with a basket of food for you to snack on as you listened to felix talk about his friends

“i’ve missed this, you know?”

“missed what?” you asked, quickly swallowing a bite of your sandwich

“this, us, the two of us being with each other”

“o-oh” you mumbled, staring down at the food in your hand, “it has been a while hasn’t it?”

you tried to skirt around the topic, not knowing exactly what he meant or why he would miss you so much

you were avoiding his gaze, but you could still feel his eyes peering at the side of your face

“please look at me,” he whispered, and you dont know what exactly it was about his voice, but despite your sudden shyness at the topic, you felt compelled to look at him

he slowly grabbed your hand, the touch warming you instantly as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand

his eyes were glistening under the sun, roaming all over your face as soon as you turned to him

all you could focus on was him

his eyes

his freckles

his lips-

“hope i’m not interrupting anything!”

thank god for jisung bc you dont know how much longer you could stay unmoving under felix’s intense gaze

as soon as you looked at your best friend, felix had turned away too, scooting away from you and you wondered if he’d been that close to you the whole time

“you came!” you cheered as enthusiastically as possible, but felix’s actions were just replaying in your mind and jisung could tell there was something off about the both of you now

jisung had run the short distance left to you, sitting himself in the gap between you and felix

“so, sunshine, why’d you so desperately want to see me?”

“i wasn’t desperate, you fool, i just wanted all of us to hang out together, like old times”

“ah yes, the dream team plus felix,” although he was only joking, smirk on his face clearly showing that, only you and jisung had laughed at that

“hey, i was just kidding,” he said, nudging felix when said boy just carried on staring at the ground

“i gathered” felix grumbled, sighing before standing up, “i need to use the bathroom”

“i can show you-”

“i’ll find it myself.” he cut you off, walking in the direction of the castle

“whats got the prince so grumpy?” jisung asked rhetorically

you shrugged, his actions still reeling in your mind

“let me guess,” jisung started, “he got all moody as soon as i came, right?”

“now that you mention it, yes, he did, but what has that got to do with anything?”

in all your time knowing the two boys, they had never argued in front of you; the three of you always played together nicely, albeit they both were closer to you than they were to each other, but you just assumed that was because they never knew each other that well

now that you were all older, you hoped they had grown out of their childish ways, but apparently not

“um, everything??” jisung spoke, like everything he was saying was clear as day, “he’s probably jealous of us because i’m pretty sure he likes you.”

you laughed at that

hysterically

felix??? liking you?? that was CrazyTM even for that wild child

“seriously jisung i dont know how you came up with that, but that was a good one”

“for once, y/n, im not joking”

your chuckles died down when you noticed he really wasnt laughing with you

your eyebrows furrowed, confusion already lacing your words as you asked “why would he even like me?”

“beats me,” he joked, shrugging his shoulders and, despite that being a harmless, dismissive action, it hurt

so much

sure, jisung was your best friend but was there really nothing about you that he liked?

you hated how much a small gesture like that got to you, but you couldnt stop the sadness bubbling inside of you even if you tried

“wow, thanks,” you scoffed, dusting off your clothes before standing up, “i’m going to see if felix is okay.”

“wait, y/n-” he jumped up, pulling you back to him by your wrist. “i didn’t mean it like that, i-”

“it’s whatever, jisung,” you tugged your hand out of his grasp before walking back to the castle

you wanted to hear him out, he looked so desperate to talk to you, but your mind was hazy with so many different thoughts and emotions you just need to get away from him

so you walked back inside, taking your time as you climbed the staircase to the room that felix was staying in

you knocked on his bedroom door, entering when you heard a low, “come in”

he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the ground, his hands covering his face

you rushed over to him, quickly shutting the door behind you, before you crouched in front of him

gently holding his wrists, you moved his hands away from his face

you brushed away his hair that had fallen in front of his face, glad to see that he wasn’t crying

but his crestfallen expression wasnt heartwarming either

he had barely glanced up at you, finding the carpet much more intriguing to stare at

“talk to me, felix, what’s the matter?”

“nothing, it’s stupid,” he sighed, falling back onto the bed. once again, he covered his eyes with his forearm.

you lay down besides him on the bed, staring at the ceiling

you both stayed like that for a while, completely silent, but it was comforting just being besides felix like that

jisung’s words were running through your head and, although you felt bad for leaving him like that, you were curious as to whether or not there was any truth behind his words

could lee felix really like you?

“hey, felix?”

he hummed, arm unmoving, to tell you he was listening

“has this got something to do with jisung?”

he let out a long sigh before turning onto his side to face you

you mirrored his position, staring at his face to see him doing the same

he bit his lip, closing his eyes as though he was contemplating what to say

when he finally opened his eyes again, you listened to him intently

“in a way, yes?” he started, chuckling a bit, “this is going to sound so stupid, but, i guess i just envy the two of you.”

you furrowed your brows, pouting slightly at hearing his confession - why did he feel jealous though? jisung was right about that part-

“stop doing that,” felix whined, his own lips pouting

your eyes widened at his sudden exclamation, “doing what exactly?”

“stop being so cute”

“felix-”

“i like you, okay? i’ve liked you for so long, but jisung likes you too and it kills me because i know that you’d pick him over me any day”

you couldnt believe jisung was actually right.

felix seriously liked you?

liked you as more than just a friend??

your thoughts were going haywire, his confession playing like a broken record in your mind

“i-i didn’t know-”

he laughed at that, facing the ceiling once more, “that’s kind of the whole point of a crush”

you were stunned.

how were you even supposed to reply to that??

“it’s hard not to like you, really.” he started, and you noticed his cheeks turning rosy with every word he spoke. “you’re so down-to-earth, unlike a lot of the other royals we meet who are conceited and full of themselves, you’re so kind to people, but you won’t ever let them push you around or take you for granted, y’know? and you’re always hands on, you love helping others out even when your parents or mrs han are telling you not to; god, i could go on for eternity about the little things i like about you y/n...”

by the time he had said all of that, he was facing you once more, hand slowly coming to rest on your cheek as he stared closely at you

“do you remember the first time we met?”

small smiles crossed both of your faces as you thought back to childhood memories

“of course i do, at the hwang palace”

hwang hyunjin was like a brother to felix, despite being the prince of a different country

the two were practically inseperable - whenever there was a formal event taking place, you would always find one right beside the other

you remembered that day very clearly. it was one of the first times you had actually left your country for a function. before that, your parents had kept you at home to review work since they thought you were too young to be out at large, noisy social events

so when you rocked up at the hwang party, hiding behind your dad’s leg as he greeted other kings, hyunjin and felix took the initiative to grab your hands and literally drag you away to the other kids there

hyunjin disappeared a little while after to beg the cooks to sneak you kids some food

and felix whisked you away to hyunjin’s room

at first you were scared (bc 2 boys were dragging you away and your parents were just smiling at you to have fun)

but you realised they werent all that bad. felix made you feel really welcome as he shared the food already in hyunjin’s room

you both played with the toys and half-built fort felix and hyunjin had already set up

and by the time hyunjin had come back with a massive bag full of sweets you were 100 per cent you didnt ever want to leave these two

you were literally on the verge of crying when hyunjin’s maid came up telling you that you had to go

you and felix were literally begging your parents to stay but to no avail :(((

that continued on for years after that until the 3 of you had grown up and it was no longer socially acceptable for 3 royals to go into a bedroom together for hours on end bc who knows what would be going on in there

you’d still catch felix sending you sly grins when you met him in the hall and he’d always jokingly ask you to dance with him

and each time you’d send him away or run to hyunjin to save you

spoiler: he never saves you

so you’d end up dancing with felix and it would be so bad

you knew he could dance bc he had put on performances at his own family’s events

but here you two were too busy laughing and chatting away to try to not step on the other’s feet

“i was so sad when hyunjin came back up, y’know?”

“why? we were in his room,” you laughed at his childish behaviour

“because,” he whined, “we were having so much fun together and you were the first kid that actually came up and joined us, everyone else stayed with their parents”

“i mean, i didnt have much choice did i? you two dragged me upstairs to play with you.”

“touche-”

by now both of you were staring at the ceiling again, thinking back on many childhood memories

“it wasn’t love,” he started, “we were 7 i dont think i even knew what love was then, but i could just- i don’t know, i could tell there was smth about you then. and when we met up after that i think i just fell for you a bit more each time.”

it was so odd hearing felix talk about how he liked you

the boy was always joking around, a grin plastered on his face, but here he was speaking so earnestly and it left you completely speechless

you couldnt lie to yourself

you had thought about felix in some romantic way before

as you grew up your parents would always make comments about how you and felix were so close

add that to the fact that both of your parents were very close too

you honestly thought you’d end up marrying felix one day to satisfy your parents and your nations

of course the topic of marriage wasnt for another few years but these thoughts had bombarded your mind every now and then - more so when your father announced the lees would be coming over

but right now, as you lay besides him, mind an utter mess, you had no clue how to respond to him

all thoughts abruptly stopped as soon felix spoke

“can i kiss you?”

your thoughts went wild after that, but somewhere in that mess you vaguely remember nodding before one of you moved close and the other even closer, diminshing any distance between the two of you

it was short but lasting

his hand came up and rested on your cheek, barely holding onto you like you were the finest china he had ever laid hands on

so scared to break you, yet unwilling to let you go

his touch was warm and comforting, like a sunrise, appreciation and love washing over you in blissful waves

you pulled away from him, his eyes slowly opening at crinkling at the edges as he grinned

“you dont know how long ive wanted to do that for”

you laughed at his excitement and the smile on his face, but the door slamming shut broke you out of this joyous moment

you had a sinking feeling you knew who was there and without wasting a second you got up

your mind barely registered felix calling your name out as you ran out, quickly catching up to jisung who was halfway down the stairs already

“ji, please wait!”

“why?? you seemed perfectly fine up there with prince charming!”

he stopped where he was, turning around and watching as you ran down until you were just a step in front of him

“can you just- can you please just talk to me, ji.” you sighed, holding onto his wrists gently so he wouldn’t run away again, although you felt he wouldn’t try anyways. “what’s wrong?”

“me! i’m what’s wrong!”

“i don’t underst-”

“god, y/n, i’m in love with you!”

and you froze.

you were glad jisung was holding onto your arms bc you lost your grip on any rational thoughts

you felt his hand slowly leave yours, instead trailing up your arm, your shoulder, your neck, until he reached your face, thumb running over your rosy cheek as he brushed away the stray hairs

“i’m sorry you had to find out like this,” he started, voice so quiet but so loud in your mind. “but i’m not sorry i feel this way. i probably should,” he chuckled, “but i don’t.”

you vaguely remember his fingers weaving through your hair as he pulled you closer to him, his breathing light as he murmured a small, “may i?”

and you nodded.

you dont know who moved first or who closed the gap between you, but you remember him.

his lips brushing yours gently before he pressed against you with more passion

his other hand dropped your wrist, finding sanctuary on your waist as he drew you closer and you gravitated towards him so naturally, so easily, he smiled into the kiss

your hands found purchase on his chest, his heart’s rythmic beating playing like a melody in your palm and you grinned too

soon enough you broke away, faces mere centimeters apart, both of you blushing and beaming

“you’re so stunning, sunshine” he breathed, not breaking the tranquility of the moment

and you couldn’t help but look away shyly, his gaze too endearing and intimate for you to handle

when you look back up his eyes are focussed on the top of the staircase and you worry your parents or staff are there, fuming

but when you turn around your heart dropped because there, at the end of the staircase, is felix.

hhhhhhhhhhh do i even need to explain how sorry i am that this took literal months to post??? the ending was killing me bc i didnt know how to write it and then personal stuff came up but nOW it’s finally done!!!! im gonna get smth up for jeongin’s bday too (lets pray i can actually post it before february ends). hope u enjoyed reading this!!!!

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