#sure there's stuff that makes life super hard and i wish they weren't Things but they're not my fault

[littlepetbee]

i think one of my biggest accomplishments of 2023 is when my therapist asked me to list one thing i like about myself and one thing i dislike about myself and i came up with the thing i like immediately and struggled sooo hard to think of anything i dislike. yeah, mr. therapist sir, let me school you on how someone can be a fucking Mess but have shockingly good self-esteem/self-worth all at the same time lmao

#personal #boy when i was 19 years old i decided to stop hating myself and i did that shit HARD let me tell you #ain't nobody can make me feel bad about myself...not even me! #sure there's stuff that makes life super hard and i wish they weren't Things but they're not my fault #so nothing to feel bad about #and sure i've got some not great qualities but i know that they were planted there by my shit childhood and i'm working on them #so nothing to feel bad about there either #recognizing and working through things is good and important and nothing to beat yourself up over! #anyways it was such a concrete example of how far i've come in my life and i'm happy about it

[sparklepirate]

Alright, final thoughts on Brisingr.

You know what half the book was dwarven politics but I ate that shit up.

The more I read these again the more I appreciate the nuance of Eragon's character. It's super rare for me to like a main protagonist as much as I like him, but he has so many things going on. He's heroic, but in a deeply existentialist way, which leads him to be a bit cruel/callous towards his brother. He is smart and a quick learner, both academically and on his feet, but he does and thinks some of the stupidest things sometimes. He was forced to grow up so fast, so while he often comes across as mature and self-assured, internally he is still just a kid, or perhaps a very, very young man, and that kid part of him still shines through sometimes. He does and will do what he has to do to help the world, but he is constantly surprised to find new avenues of guilt when confronted with various consequences of his actions, but he still presses on. He is still learning his place in life not only as a dragon rider and a hero, but just as a person in general, and I think that's so cool and interesting to read! And he's also dealing with the trauma of the everything that's happening to him, but doesn't quite yet seem to realize that he isn't alone in his feelings. He is a dork, and I love him, and I want to be his friend, and I want him to accrue a whole squad of older sibling figures to help him through his stuff.

Along the lines of trauma, I hope he and Roran get to talk about this stuff. They both have moments of berating themselves over being weak for having strong feelings about killing and participating in a war, and I wish they would talk to each other and realize they were not alone. ... Murtagh too but that's just wishful thinking. I'll just have to write that myself I suppose.

Saphira is also so good queen of my heart and my soul she is beauty she is grace if she were a human she would rip apart a rat with her bare hands and teeth and do a kegstand immediately afterwards with the blood still dripping down her face but her makeup would be FLAWLESS while she did it ❤️

This felt like the first book that really drove the point home of how close the two of them are, because this is the first time they had to be truly separated from each other. Every time they reunited and they were just so filled with joy and love I just 🥺

As always- Murtagh deserves better!!! He and Thorn!!! He is in this position because he was too compassionate for Eragon (being led to the Varden), and then Thorn (swearing fealty to save him), and no one really cares about him but he still hopes and he still loves!!! Obviously, like, being on opposite sides of the conflict no one is going to not try to kill him, they kind of don't have a choice, but... Damn. I won't say too much more about him until after Inheritance but like. Damn. Justice for my husband.

On that note, the absolute betrayal he must have felt upon finding out that Oromis and Glaedr existed. Granted, by him becoming a dragon rider it was already too late for them to help him, but still. It's just kind of a tragic circumstance that everyone was so powerless in this situation, and like... Being literally possessed by Galbatorix for a bit there was. Hmm. Bad. I'm sure we'll be dissecting THAT in the new book.

It makes me wonder how much of this situation could have been prevented if the elves and the dwarves weren't so consistently self-serving. I think that's what makes Nasuada such an effective leader in comparison to them. She will get shit done, and she will set aside pride whenever she needs to to achieve the best results. Now, she has her flaws, which I know are explored more in Inheritance, but I can understand her constant frustration with the other kingdoms refusal to help or share important secrets that could have helped them sooner/prevented bloodshed.

And as far as secrets go... I don't know. It's hard to gauge "should have" or "shouldn't have" with most of the things Oromis and Glaedr neglected to tell Eragon and Saphira (or anyone), but the eldunarí feels like the most cut and dry. I guess they weren't anticipating Thron hatching but like. If that's the source of Galbatorix's power... It might have been useful for literally anyone to know about that before now. Arya didn't even know, for god's sake.

Speaking of Arya, I like her way way more this read through!!! And I do not ship her and Eragon literally at all sorry I'm a hater ❤️

RIP Oromis though sucks that you died.

Onto Inheritance!

#ashna reads the inheritance cycle #brisingr #inheritance cycle #eragon #murtagh morzansson #saphira

[allovertheplace-writing]

Hii! Could you do hcs for Cove, Itto, and Diluc with a fem s/o (a random mix but still) who's just kinda intimidating on the outside? Tall, stoic, monotone, blank expression, stuff like that. But on the inside they're super emotionally fragile and kindhearted?

Our Life + Genshin Impact

Character(s): Cove, Itto, Diluc

Genre: Fluff

Type: Headcanon

Description: With your hard exterior, many have found themselves intimidated...but if your partner had to describe you, it'd be the opposite- sort of

Warning(s): Gender-Neutral Reader(My Default(Changed it to GN since Gender Doesn't Matter for This)), Mentions of Other Characters(Derek, Kujo Sara, Shinobu, Kaeya)

Hello! I absolutely can do this >:3

I hope you enjoy! Thanks for requesting btw <3

   ➢ Cove

You and Cove are like two pees in a pod, well...except that he always has his heart on his sleeve. But! Most people's, or at least Derek's, first impression of him was that he's intimidating!

He had a hard time understanding you when he was younger, prior to your current relationship. You both just became acquainted with one another and with the distance he liked to have with everyone...you weren't friends for a while(even though you wanted to be). A little 'are we friends?' will have him stumbling for a second, but he'll likely say 'we can be.' Now, depending on how young he was when you ask, he might just say 'we aren't.'

(8 y/o Cove is so blunt it hurts-)

Obviously, everything worked out eventually because you're together and he understands you a lot better! He knows the little shifts and habits that happen during uncomfortable or disinteresting conversations. He knows that you're sentimental and understands what hurts you(mostly because he's the same).

Majority of the time, he feels at complete harmony with you - especially with the way you bounce of each other on the daily! But there are days when something upsets you and he has no idea. Some things just never come up and he ends up hurting you at times. Cove always will get to asking what's wrong when he sees you upset and will immediately apologize(while also making a mental note of avoidance to what got you upset).

   ➢ Itto

He thinks you're on another level of Kujo Sara - though much sweeter, for sure. At first, Itto was, well, intimidated by you just as much as anyone else. Such a cold stare and unmoving face...AND YOU'RE TALL?? Obviously not as tall as the one and oni, but sheesh(I mean unless...)! To say the gang was also a bit scared would be an understatement. "They're like Shinobu, but-" "But scarier!" "Yeah!"

He ends up liking you immediately, though. You're kinda cool, you know! Itto finds out how nice you really are rather quickly, finding you helping about and taking care of the strays in the city within a week of meeting you(a part of him fell in love right then and there, but don't tell him I said that). He'd notice how certain things affect you and subconsciously make mental notes, sometimes physical ones that he ended up losing, so he could protect you and make you happy.

When you both became each other's partner, he already understood you a great deal because of his observations. His jokes landed a good amount of the time, occasionally getting a chuckle or huff from you, and his hugs were reciprocated all the time- who wouldn't be a happy oni when it came to that?

He knows how to cheer people up, even without meaning to at times, so you're guaranteed to always have comfort for your hidden woes. Anytime he ends up making you upset, he's instantly apologizing- he doesn't even know for what yet either! He just knows you're not in a good mood, he caused it, and thats a no-no.

A ridiculous oni, he is. But he's your ridiculous oni.

   ➢ Diluc

How people view him doesn't matter to him, but Diluc does know he comes across as stoic most of the time. The untouchable wine boss, if you will(Kaeya has a death wish, you swear-). He understands that being such a sturdy person on the surface can lead to people leaning on you for support, even as you crumble apart on the inside. He, out of the many, knows perfectly well that there's more to someone than just their outward demeanor. And so, he offers his presence and gives you someone to talk to when he picks up on those small habits and twitches. He may not speak of his problems, but that doesn't mean everyone has to be the same!

That had been the beginning of his comfort and it still remains today - alongside your own, of course. It hadn't felt fair when he was the only one offering a shoulder to metaphorically cry on and you returned it in your own ways rather quickly. Obviously, comfort isn't the only thing in your relationship. There's plenty of silly moments that have you smiling ever so slightly when you remember them. Such as when you both tried baking cookies in random shapes whilst trying not to get caught by Madeline. You wouldn't get in trouble, but it was fun to act so. It was like you were children again, whispering and freezing at every creak the wood wallowed out.

In the end, the cookies got burnt - who could blame you when he decided, randomly, to smear some left over cookie dough on your cheek? Of course you were going to do it back! Friendships turned to something else and now you're both here. Two intimidating softies so very in love with each other.

#♡ - Rosie writes! #x reader #x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #our life beginnings & always #genshin impact #genshin itto #genshin diluc #our life cove #olba cove #cove james holden #diluc ragnvindr #arataki itto #writing #fluff #scenarios #headcanons #hcs #gi x reader

[tabbyclaw]

I've been doing these "year's end/year's beginning" posts for a couple years now, so let's keep that rolling.

First off, I didn't finish anywhere near as much writing as I hoped I would this year. I did get some of it out there! Obviously the center of attention was (Hung)over Land, Over Sea (still working on the last part of that trilogy, I promise), and I did three fics across two exchanges (Little Wonders (Oxventure BitD), Check and Mates (BBC Ghosts), and Trade Secret (Megamind)), plus that little Drakken/Shego minific I only posted here. Which is not nothing, and especially the 32k-word fic for a fandom I've never published anything in is not nothing, but it's still disappointing to look at last year's post and realize how little of it came to fruition. My list of things I want to write in 2024 is basically the same as my list of things I wanted to write in 2023. Some of that was just things always being harder than I wish they were, but some of it was also because 2023 was... difficult.

There's some health stuff under the readmore, both mental and physical. It's not super heavy and I don't go into detail, but if you'd rather not read about it I'll say the most important part upfront, which is that I'm basically fine and nobody needs to be particularly worried about me.

Back in April, I said in the tags of my birthday cake post that my body's birthday gift to me was "Symptoms." I was deliberately vague about that, because the symptoms in this case weren't "I think I might have covid," they were "I think I might have cancer." I did not, ultimately, have cancer, but there were multiple tests spread out over a couple months before everyone was sure of that. And the thing that wasn't cancer was still an unwelcome growth that was causing problems and had a very slim chance of deciding to become cancer later in my life, so I still had surgery at the end of August to have it removed. First time I've had surgery! First time I've even been admitted to a hospital. It went fine and I was back on my feet within a couple days, but that was six months where that was constantly in the back of my mind. And it brought a lot more stuff to the front of my mind, and also the rest of my mind.

Thing is, when you've got a medical issue that's going to involve a lot of other doctors you need a primary care physician to be a point of contact for all of it. Which I didn't have, and hadn't had for a good 15 years, and I am eternally grateful to the Urgent Care doctor who pulled some strings to get me established with one. So I went to a new-patient appointment, and after looking at my answers on the intake questionnaires and talking to me for about ten minutes my new GP was already writing me a prescription for antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication and giving me referrals for yet more tests that confirmed a lot of things and explained a few others. The end result of this isn't actually an end result because everything is still constantly being fine-tuned and there are a few issues I haven't even started to address, but what it all comes down to right now is that I'm taking a significant amount of medication for various conditions and it's... sort of working? Some of it? It's hard to tell so far. But it's all definitely having an effect, and part of that is that there have been a lot of days lately where it's much, much harder to make myself sit down and write. This is not 'antidepressants are killing my creativity,' this is 'there is an ongoing restructuring happening in my head and I can't make all the committees work together on everything yet.' It will hopefully quiet down as other things get sorted (and if it doesn't I will make noise about it to my doctor), but for right now I'm just doing my best. And hopefully in 2024 my best will be better than it's been.

#writing #year in review #personal #medical stuff #I do not intend to use that tag often #I'm not interested in talking about myself and my issues #but I wanted to get all of this out there in one place

[loregoddess]

2, 5, 8, and 20 for the fandom ask game?

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like! This one's a hard one bc most of the time if I come across a headcanon that doesn't float my goats I just move on and don't give it much thought (it's clearly floating someone else's goats so no need to punch holes in it, we don't need any drowning goats), and then if the headcanon happens to haunt me anyhow I just kinda adopt it w/out too much fuss bc the person who wrote it was clearly on to something I didn't at first realize, but hmmm....

I guess at least for theories specifically, I remember coming across the "Majora's Mask might be a Twili artifact" theory on some forum like, a hundred million years ago, and I shelved the theory in my head almost immediately bc I was more into the idea that Termina was an actual alternate world in the LoZ universe bc alternate worlds are an established canon thing that Just Happens Sometimes. But when Hyrule Encyclopedia dropped the "actually Termina IS a world created by Majora's Mask that reflects the psyche of the wearer" I was like, okay wait hold up, that theory about Majora's Mask being a Twili artifact suddenly seems so, so much more plausible now, and I can explore that theory in a lot more depth for further theories about the Twili and the properties of Majora's Mask, and I've been happily rotating those theories in my head ever since (I know a lot of fans were really upset w/ the Encyclopedia making Termina a dream world canon, but man I was so stoked for it bc of that one little theory I had seen and dismissed so many years earlier).

5. something you see in fics a lot and love Alas I don't...read fics that often and wish to one day remedy that (I need to rediscover my general love of reading first, but I'll get there eventually), but from the fics I have read...I guess I really like seeing characters get to heal? Like, mostly I'm really into video games so I end up seeking out fanart/writing about the characters I love from games, and most of the games I enjoy understandably don't usually get into the "how do the characters deal with or recover from [insert traumatic event from game's story]" which like, fair, you can only do so much in the frame and limits of a game, I get it. But as a result when an author is like, "Actually hold up, we need to talk about this character and what happened to them a bit more" and like, it's an honest-to-goodness deep-dive into healing as a narrative in it's own right, I dunno, I just think that's really neat. I don't feel like I'm really good at writing that specific type of narrative either, which is part of why I respect writers who can/do write it so much.

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc) Probably like, "I'd live for you" as a trope/theme if that makes sense? Like, don't get me wrong I get the appeal of "I'd die for you" in stories, but I think there's a lot of potential power in "life can be hell, but you make me want to live, you've given me hope in life, and I am going to live"

(usual internet disclaimer: yes I know both these tropes/themes can be used for super unhealthy codependent relationships, no I'm not trying to advocate for making such types of relationships some sort of golden standard that we all should strive for, yes there is a way to write both of these and have the relationship still be healthy and stuff; I bring up "I'd live for you" bc "I'd die for you" stays dangerously close to the same territory as jokes about wanting to die arise as a form of suicidal ideation and--like replacing "die" in those types of jokes with something else can help improve overall mental health--I wonder if shifting "I'd die for you" to "I'd live for you" would have similar effects, but I'm no psychologist, this has been a disclaimer)

20. your very first fandom! Hmm, depends on how we're defining things. If it's just "being a fan of things and making up stuff about it w/ at least one other person" then probably Scooby-Doo? Me and my brother grew up watching the cartoons/movies and also had some dolls of the Mystery Gang when we were kids, and we used to make up some wild narrative-driven games making up our own monsters and mysteries for them to solve (unsurprisingly we're both storytellers of some sort as adults). But if we're defining "fandom" as more like, an actual community, then it'd be Legend of Zelda, since that's the first thing I ever made like, legit fanart for that I shared with others online.

#fun fact I didn't think I was any good at drawing fanart and only sort of dabbled in a bit of LoZ and Pokemon fanart in high school #and didn't actually start drawing honest-to-goodness fanart like regularly and for fun until AFTER I GRADUATED MY BACHELOR'S DEGREE AT 23 #so anyhow yeah it's never too late to try out fun fandom stuff and maybe one day I'll get into writing fanfic too who knows #world's filled with possibilities #space-spring #ask game #I still don't have an ask tag

[wtnytv]

A manual would be great but we would still overthink stuff I am sure, and feel anxious and everything lol, bc of feelings™ but it is a good thing to be feeling I think (also I wish my love life weren't so dead rn lol)

I am okay, thanks for asking, got to chill a bit more the past couple of days, and hang out with some friends, so it's been nice :)

-tihygtg anon 🖤

No that's true, if anything the manual would probably make me feel even more anxious 👀 Yeah definitely a good thing to be feeling, I'm really glad I am 😅 Are there still no potential partners on the horizon for you bestie?

Yay I love that for you darling! You really deserve some rest, I feel like you are always super busy and working very hard, you really deserved a break! xx

#tihygtg anon #manon has mail

[labyrinth-runner]

abs if i requested a danny piece for me how likely is it that it’ll be done. it can be fluff and super short but i’ve just been kinda simping for him again 😔 i love you

You'd been having a rough time studying for finals. It wasn't that you weren't smart, because you were, it was just that the professors weren't very clear about their expectations and you had other things to do besides study for finals. You had a life outside of school, yet for some reason none of the professors seemed to understand that.

The residents at the nursing home did, however. They had offered to help you study. Charlie said he knew he could help you ace your history final because he had lived through it. Ethel used to teach math and said she could help you as long as it wasn't "that new age foo foo crap they call common core." You had smiled at them and politely declined. They were so proud of you for doing all of this. They knew you would ace them. You just wished you had their confidence in you.

After your shift, you'd lock yourself into an empty room and get down to business. You'd killed three highlighters this week alone as you went back through your notes and textbook. How were you supposed to remember all of this information? You had spent three months learning it, and now they expected you to produce it all in three hours. It was making you regret going back to school in the first place. Lots of places accepted a high school diploma, you told yourself in defeat as you shut your textbook.

"How's it going in here?" a voice asked.

You turned to see Danny leaning against the doorway.

"How's your shift going?"

"Nice try, Sweetheart, but you're answering my question first."

"It's going great," you replied.

She's lying, Tony told him.

"Studying has always been frustrating for me, too. It's a lot to remember in a short amount of time." He came and sat on the bed, patting the spot next to him. "Do you know how I used to study in school?"

"You didn't," you shot back.

He laughed. "You're right, I didn't, but my mom tried to teach me how to study, and if I hadn't been interested in so many extracurriculars, and had taken her advice, maybe I'd be a Doctor or something."

"I can't picture you as a Doctor," you replied, moving to sit next to him.

"Why's that?"

"You get too attached. I can see how much this job takes from you sometimes. I know it's fulfilling, but if you had to constantly take care of guiding people, I don't think you'd be able to sleep at night."

"I barely sleep now."

"Exactly."

"What's this magic trick of yours?"

"Mnemonic devices."

"That sounds like a disease," you said with a snort.

"It works, though. You just have to attach a bunch of information to something silly and slightly related so you can remember it. It's like... Oh, what's that math one they tried to drill in school? The one for algebra? It had something to do with your Aunt Sally."

You scrunched your nose in thought. "Are you talking about PEMDAS? Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally?"

"That's the one. That's a mnemonic device."

"So you're telling me, I have to come up with mnemonic devices for all of this?" You gestured at the stack of textbooks.

"Not all of it," he said with a smirk. "Just the stuff you don't know."

"So all of it," you laughed.

He shook his head at you. "I'm sure you know more than you think you do. Do you have any study guides?"

With an eye roll, you handed them over.

Dan smirked and started to quiz you. If you had hard times with the subject, then you paused to come up with a way to remember it. Dan turned studying from a chore into something you actually had fun doing, and by the time you'd finished, you felt confident that you'd ace anything that came your way.

"Hey Danny?" you asked softly.

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Thank you."

He kissed your forehead and smiled. "Any time."

#danny torrance #dan torrance x reader

[xpeachesncream]

restart | four

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, bar scene, alcohol consumption, flashback scene in the middle of the chapter, a lil sprinkle of fluff, implied sexual content, bickering/arguments

note: honestly, this was ALSO not supposed to get this long but like… 🙃 here we are lol

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Okay, I think that's it." You said, hands on your hips as you and Jungkook walked through your door for the final time.

"What are you selling, the world?" He huffs and puffs.

"For someone who works out often, you complain a lot." He rolls his eyes playfully.

"Where's Tae?"

"Sleeping still." He nods.

"Oh, okay. Ready to go then?" You nodded silently as you grabbed your bag to hitch a ride to the café with Jungkook since he was working today. He starts to talk about the girl who works with you two and how he thinks she's a little cutiepie. He has such a silly crush on her that his cheeks are lightly rose tinted every time he talks about certain encounters they've had. You're happy to see him happy, and you tell him to keep pursuing it since she's a super sweet girl. However, part of you is sad solely because you couldn't say you were 100% happy at this moment. You wish you were, but these problems were hindering you from feeling complete. You just wanted to get past this page in the book.

As soon as you both get to the cafe, you start unloading his trunk and getting everything inside. Jungkook claims he has the last two bags covered, so you walk to the back and take breather just to gather yourself before setting up. But you truly didn't expect to lose it right then and there.

"Okay! I got all the— Y/N?" Jungkook instantly worries when he sees you crying into your hands in the backroom and hurries over to you. "Hey, woah. What's going on?" He gets in front of you, gently trying to pry your hands off of your face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." You continue to cry as he successfully removes your hands from your face.

"Sorry for what? What's going on?" He wipes your tears with his sweater and lifts your chin to look at you in the eye.

"Nothing."

"The day barely started and you're already crying in the backroom." He says softly. "Don't try and lie to me."

"I just don't know what's going on between me and Tae and it's stressing me out."

"What's going on? Same stuff?" You nod, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You tell him about how he had been super weird about taking Jimin's help and how you both got into a huge argument about it. Then, you told him how last night ended [sparing your poor bestfriend the details] and how you couldn't help but feel used because he simply dismissed you, which is very unlike Taehyung when it comes to arguments and disagreements. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know he's going through a rough time, but Tae also needs to respect you and look at you as his partner, not someone who's also attacking him or against him. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." Simply, no. Because you never get your friends involved like that. You just don't, no matter how much they wanna help. "He looks at me like I am, especially after this whole Jimin thing. I don't wanna say it's stupid because I don't wanna discredit his feelings, but god. Like, should I just do this on my own? Tell Jimin to forget it?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "You're already getting a good start on your goals, Y/N. Don't let that go because of everything going on. Give him some time and space."

"I have been. For awhile now." You sat, feeling completely defeated already, tears still coming down your cheeks.

"Here, I'll go set up and I can take over the table for a bit. I'll ask Isabella if she can cover for a quick second." He stands in front of you, hands out to help support you as if you had lost your footing.

"No, I'll be fine—"

"Y/N, just sit. Okay?" He gives off a small sigh. "Just sit for a second and let yourself take a breather." He gently sits you down and makes sure you don't get up by slowly backing away from you.

"Kook, this isn't Marco Polo."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't run off because you're stubborn!"

"Hey!" Isabella comes running in, a little confused as to what's happening.

"Hey, can you cover me at the front for a bit?" Jungkook stands back upright in a normal position to ask her sweetly, hands tucked behind his back as he bounced on his feet. This boy.

"Yeah, of course Jungkook." She blushes.

"Thanks. I'll be right back." He gives you a quick look before dashing off. You lay your head onto your arms as they rest on the table, a small headache forming at the center of your forehead.

"You okay, Y/N?" Isabella asks softly as she puts her things away.

"Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird day yesterday."

"I'm sorry." You feel her hand caress your back. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She says before shuffling herself out of the room. To be honest, you had no idea what was going on with you, and why you were feeling this way. You were just so sick and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This was slowly taking a toll on you, and you weren't even sure if Taehyung realized what he was doing was hurting you in the process.

He can't say he does.

Tae set the weights down back onto the rack aggressively before sitting on the bench, watching Jimin finish his set. They had been working out after lunch, Jimin calling him shortly after Taehyung had fully woken up.

"Are you gonna go to the café after this?" Tae shrugged.

"I don't know, Y/N said she didn't need help and wouldn't be there all day."

"You won't even visit for a bit?" Jimin asks. Usually Tae was rushing to get back to you, but he knew everything that had been going on had been affecting your relationship to an extent.

"We'll see."

"You two coming to the bars tonight then?"

"What are we celebrating again?"

"Nothing. Just getting together like old times. I told Kook, Hobi and Yoongi. They're down." Tae nodded.

"Joon, too?"

"Joon, too."

"Me and Y/N will probably go but I don't think we'll stay long. She has to do that thing at the school—" He scratched his head. "The thing— the exhibit and talking to incoming art students or whatever." Jimin chuckled at how Tae couldn't get his words out.

"It's not whatever."

"You know that's not what I mean." Tae rolled his eyes at him, annoyed all over again at how Jimin had been kissing your ass lately. Cause fuck, the way Jimin had been painting himself as a knight in shining armor, an angel even, was pissing him the fuck off. It made him feel like he wasn't doing enough to support you, or like you couldn't turn to him for help. He hated that feeling, even though he had been rude as hell and showing it in a different way.

"That's fine. Just come out and hang out for a bit." Jimin sighed as he sat on the bench next to him, drinking some water before placing the bottle back down on the ground. "You two doing okay?"

"Yeah, what makes you think we aren't?" Tae asks, getting defensive. Jimin quickly eyes him, reading his body language. He knew Taehyung so well - so fucking well that he knew almost immediately when things were taking a toll on him. Things liiiike.. his parents. As a prime example. Jimin knew Taehyung and his parents obviously didn't have the best relationship, and he knew he took things to heart whenever his father got on him about stupid shit [just like he did over that dinner]. Taehyung wasn't one to show emotion much; he liked showing people he was mentally tough and that he could handle whatever came his way. For the most part, it was true. But, Jimin and Namjoon also knew he wasn't always like that, especially when it came to things that mattered the most to him - his family and you. Taehyung hated to admit it but his family's opinion of him was important no matter what. He was hard on himself because he wanted them to be proud. He wanted to actually feel like he had been doing something good for once. He was still longing for that feeling no matter what he said or did. It was a never-ending battle; like a plot with no happy ending in sight.

"I'm just asking." Jimin threw up his hands, showing that he wasn't suggesting anything behind the harmless question.

"We're fine. I know she's been stressed lately because of work and her art."

"Mmm."

"It's funny." Taehyung chuckles at himself.

"What's funny?" Jimin laughed a bit, confused.

"I didn't expect to be caught up in her like this. After Hana, messing around with all these girls. She's my fucking fiancé."

"Yeah and you better not fuck that up." Jimin stands to gather his things.

"You sound like my dad." Tae jokes, even though he was pretty offended.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to." Jimin instantly apologizes, knowing everyone had been walking on eggshells around Taehyung lately. "She's a good girl, you've got it good."

Taehyung softly smiles at the thought of you, but he wasn't gonna lie, he was hurt by Jimin's statement. Call him sensitive or whatever, but he wasn't feeling the fact that people were constantly looking at him as a fuck up and hinting at it. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme lately. "You ready?" Tae sighs before grabbing his stuff. They get into his car, departing from the gym to make their way to Jimin's so he can get dropped off before Tae heads home. Taehyung replays yesterday's events in his head, which instantly irks him all over again. But, he has such a soft spot for you that he feels terrible for having been too harsh about it. He was still upset, and he wasn't gonna let up on his feelings. But he knew he should have been better about how he approached it. He knew better than that. He's learned to do better.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung excitedly parks his car at the café to surprise you for your pop up today. He had been working endlessly to finish off finals strongly, and he had been so busy that he hadn't really gotten a chance to help you or support you. He felt terrible about it because you were his babygirl and he wanted nothing but to spoil you for all the hardwork you've been putting in.

He creeps up behind you, bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. "Excuse me, miss." He says lowly near your ear.

"Holy fuck!" You say as he startles you. "Babe, what the hell! Don't do that!" He laughs.

"What's cookin', goodlookin'?" He wiggles his eyebrows, making you chuckle. "These are for you." He smiles toothlessly as he hands you the pretty bouquet. "And your favorite!" He hands you a Mcflurry cup.

You squeal. "Oreo Mcflurry! Aw, thank you baby." You place a quick kiss on his lips. "But don't ever scare me like that!" You playfully hit his chest, causing him to erupt in laughter.

"You should've seen your face."

"Ha-ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes, causing him to pinch your cheeks.

"How's it going?"

"Welp, I'm almost out for the day." You giggle. "I, uh, may have underestimated." You look down at his hoodie, realizing it was one of the hoodies you had made for a previous collection you sold at Jin's. "Waaaow, cute sweater, who made it?"

"Mm, I don't know if you know her. Her name's Y/N."

"Uh huh?" You nod, hand on your hip, waiting to hear more.

"She stands about this tall." He lowers himself close to the ground, causing you to laugh. "Cute, right? She's beautiful, incredibly smart and sexy. Brilliant visual designer and illustrator. Packed with hella attitude." He pretends to ponder on his thoughts. "I could go on about her, really. She's one of a kind."

"Cute. She must feel lucky." You smile.

"I know, I'd feel lucky if I knew me too." You roll your eyes and playfully hit him. "Ah, I'm kidding." He pulls you into a hug. "I keep this sweater in my trunk."

"Oh, so you keep it in your trunk just for emergency wear?" You sarcastically ask as he holds you from behind.

"Yeah, and cause it's the only sweater I'd choose to wear out of the hundreds I own." You smile up at him. "Mhm, not gonna try and win that one." He places a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek before pulling away. "Show me. How can I help my pretty baby today?"

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Hey, I can't stay out late tonight because of the event tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." Taehyung says softly.

"Please don't drink too much."

"I wooooooon't." He whines with a small sigh, also slightly offended at that statement. He didn't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that his own father painted him in such a negative light that everything seemed off to him lately. Like people were just out to get him or constantly looking down at him and his actions. A personal attack at who he was. It was slowly piling up for him and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

You prepared a quick dinner while he hopped in the shower. You set his plate aside before taking a look at the mail that had come in today.

Bills, bills and more bills.

You sighed to yourself as it felt like you had just paid things off, but clearly not. Moving into Taehyung's wasn't the greatest idea, being that his space was much more expensive than yours. But, he did have the space you needed for your work. There was money left, but you knew it wouldn't last forever. You hated tapping into your savings and whipping out your credit cards because you wanted to keep yourself clean as much as possible. However, that was proven difficult as of late. It was a sacrifice, especially since Taehyung had cut off his mother's help. Taehyung's pride was such a curse sometimes.

You shook your head, already finalizing the fact that you would deal with it later. You had began to set your things aside for the new student event tomorrow morning. You figured you'd get there early to set up and make your table at neat and cute, so you didnt have to worry much about it right now.

Taehyung comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, hair slicked back and wet. You turn to face him, your eyes wandering down to his chest and bottom area. God, why was he so beautiful? It wasn't fair. You loved him so much that you could crumble even being upset. He talks a whole lot about you being the death of him, when really, this man is going to be the death of you. Truly. There's no debate about it.

Getting to the bar, you both immediately spot your friends in the corner, a huge tower of beer decorating the center of the table. Jimin is the first to stand, coming towards you two with a huge smile on his face.

"Friends!" Jimin yells. "Drink!" He says, holding up two shot glasses.

"Fuck, man." Taehyung says taking the glass. "We just got here."

"So! Y/N needs to be home early remember?" He watches wide-eyed as you two take the shot and make sour faces at each other.

"Okay, I'm good." You say, being that you were the DD tonight. Taehyung could enjoy himself if he wanted to [to an extent], but you definitely needed to be in tip top shape to be a good role model to those incoming art students tomorrow.

Throughout the night, the bar starts to get packed from end to end, you and your friends staying at the table and keeping to yourselves. You could tell Taehyung was crossing the line of pretty fucking drunk, which somewhat bothered you. You literally just told him to take it easy tonight - just for one night - so you could do what you need to do tomorrow.

"Hey." Jimin comes next to you, swinging his arm over your shoulder like he always does. "One more shot?" You give him a toothless smile. Ugh, why the hell not? Your man was drunk, and Jimin had only been helpful lately. You could at least return the favor by taking a shot with him.

"What are we drinking to?"

"You." He smiles. "Your shop. Your art. It'll only go up from here, yeah?" He rose his shot glass up before clinking it against yours and taking it to the neck.

"Mkay, that does it for me." You chuckle. "Thanks for the shot."

"No problem. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." You looked at your watch. "Should probably get out of here soon, but Tae looks like he's enjoying himself. I don't wanna drag him out of here."

"We can just bring him home." You shake your head worriedly.

"I don't wanna leave without him." Jimin chuckles and looks over at Taehyung.

"He'll be okay and you'll be just fine tomorrow. Besides, you can make up all the bullshit in the world to tell the incoming students, they'll believe it either way."

"That's mean." You chuckle.

"Come. Let's dance!" Jimin says, leading the way to the empty space near the table. Everyone gets up to dance, Taehyung slipping himself behind you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"Can I at least get one minute with my lady without Jimin interrupting?" He says in your ear.

"Taehyung." You flatly say, looking back at him.

"That's your mad face." He holds you tightly from behind as he sways you from side to side.

"I'm not mad."

"Mhm." He kisses the back of your head. "Why don't you have fun with me for a little? We'll go home after this." You couldn't even stay mad at him, with that fucking frustratingly handsome face of his. He was definitely drunk though, you could smell the whiskey lingering on his breath as he danced with you for a bit. You let him be, just so you wouldn't trigger anything within drunk Taehyung. Everyone around you was having a good time, the feeling of nostalgia hitting you pretty hard. You missed the days where you could get together and go to parties after a long week of school. Or, when you would tease the fuck out of Taehyung as his fuckbuddy during parties, or at the clubs. You know, before graduation and responsibilities happened.

But as one hour turned into two, and two turned into three, you found yourself getting restless. It was nearing 2AM and you had to be at the school by 8am - even earlier just to set your table up. You made your way to the bathroom, hoping Tae would get the point and start getting himself ready to leave.

Right.

Once you were out the bathroom, he'd realize you had been gone for a little and start saying his goodbye's. He'd realize time got to the best of him. Right?

"It's a fucking good time tonight!" Jimin tells Namjoon, laughing with him as he watches Joon act a fool with his dance moves.

"I'm sure it is, since you've been in Y/N's space the entire night." Taehyung says it jokingly, but he doesn't realize it only comes off that way in his head. Jimin furrows his brows at him, his high quickly dying with Taehyung's unnecessary comment.

"Don't start with all that. Not tonight. Everyone's having a good time--"

"Or what, Jimin?" Taehyung chuckles like the petty ass he can be. "You know it's true. Don't you think it's a little disrespectful to be crossing boundaries?"

"Hey, let's step back for a bit." Jungkook lightly tugs on Taehyung's arm as he hears the conversation going south quickly. But Taehyung breaks from his grip, stepping forward towards Jimin.

"You really think I would do that to you?"

"Haven't you already? Swinging your arms around her and shit, being all angelic--"

"Tae, come on. That's enough. Don't." Namjoon steps in the middle. "Let's go outside to get some air."

"You really wanna make me look that bad in front of my own girl?" Jimin lightly pushes him away, Taehyung getting too into his space.

"Enough." Namjoon shakes his head, aggressively stepping in the way to create distance. Taehyung shakes his head and walks off, the rest of the group watching as he walks. You finish off in the bathroom, assuming Tae was already getting ready to go. However, you realize your assumption of leaving by the time you're back is absolutely incorrect because when you get to the table, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Tae?" Kook looks at you frazzled, before his eyes begin to pan the room again.

"Look, don't freak out, but him and Jimin just got into it and he walked off."

"What the hell do you mean they got into it and he walked off?"

"It's nothing, Tae is just drunk—" Kook squeezes your wrist and shakes his head.

"No, it's not just nothing because you and I both know how he's been feeling lately." You run your hand through your hair. "What did he say?"

"He just got into it about Jimin getting close to you lately, and how he felt like he was disrespecting boundaries." You sigh heavily.

"Fuck."

"We have an issue." Namjoon comes back from out of the blue. "He's not around."

"What do you mean?! Where did he go?" You run your hand through your hair.

"Okay, let's not panic." Jungkook tries to relax you. "Let me go check the bathrooms." Namjoon nods as he continues to look around the room.

"Please? We should get home." He nods to you before he's off to check for Tae in the bathroom. You stand near the table awkwardly, worry filling you quickly the more time passes.

"Hey, you okay? What can I do?" Hobi squeezes your arm, his face flushed with a red tint from how tipsy he is. You give him a small, reassuring smile and nod to try and keep calm.

"I honestly don't know anymore, but I'll be good. I think. We're just gonna look for him and head home."

"Is Kookie looking in the bathroom?" You nod. At this point, you catch a glimpse of Jungkook coming back alone.

"Jungkook?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find him in there. I swear I tried."

"So, where the hell is he?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Lets check around again. I won't leave until we find him."

"Have you tried to call him?" You had already beaten Yoongi's question, calling Taehyung's phone only to see his phone vibrating and ringing on the fucking table. "Hm, okay. Maybe not."

"Fuck." You snatch Taehyung's phone from the table. "Is he serious right now? It's about to be 2:30AM. How the fuck can he get lost at this time?"

"Y/N just go home, we'll find him and bring him home." Jimin says, coming back from roaming around the place.

"No, I'm not leaving here without him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He says, looking at you in the eye. Although he was pretty fucking pissed, he couldn't help but worry about him either. No matter what, that was still his bestfriend. He didn't want anything to happen to him.

"It's not your fault."

"We need to check around the neighborhood." Jungkook suddenly comes back and grabs your arm. You follow him, Yoongi, Hobi, Namjoon and Jimin outside of the bar, the cold hitting your skin harshly.

"Let's split." Namjoon says. Jimin and Hobi split, Namjoon and Yoongi sticking together to go down a different path. You kept yourself close to Jungkook, knowing there were all sorts of drunk ass men out at this hour and you weren't helping wearing a tiny ass skirt and a deep cut shirt.

"Cutiepie, let me come holla!" A dude yells as he tries to swing his arm around your waist. Jungkook easily pushes him off, glaring at him.

"Back the fuck up." He spits out, your bestfriend coming to your rescue amongst the sea of men you're encountering on the sidewalk right now. He throws his jacket over your shoulders, hoping to shield you from them and the cold. "Your outfit." Jungkook frowns, a little worried.

"I mean, I didn't expect to lose Tae tonight." Once you had gotten to a quieter part of the street, you come from behind to walk beside him. "Where the hell could he have gone?" You whine. You're more worried for his safety and wellbeing right now more than anything and all you wanted to do was find him and bring him home, even though you were slightly worrying about yourself and how things would go tomorrow. You could give him an earful later. It could wait.

"He couldn't have gone far." You both continue down the street, heading towards your car, hoping he may be around the area. Jimin calls to check in, saying him and Hobi hadn't caught sight of him yet, and the same thing goes for Yoongi and Joon. You almost want to cry when you don't see Taehyung near your car, but Jungkook ends up walking further down towards the park near your parking spot. "Y/N! Here!" He calls out, running towards an individual slumped over on their knees on a bench. "Taehyungie?" Jungkook sits next to him and shakes him a bit.

"Shit dude, I just kept walking then I suddenly had no idea where I was at." He drunkily says as you sit next to him and sigh heavily.

"No one said you had to do that, Tae."

"I just needed some air."

"Yeah and look where that got you, it's close to 3AM." You respond, irritated.

"Y/N." Jungkook says softly, shaking his head at you as if he were signaling for you to quit with your attitude. "Let's go back to the car." Jungkook watches him stand up and wobble a bit, but eases up when he realizes Taehyung is capable of walking himself to the car. You three get back safely, letting the others know that you had found him before driving Jungkook back towards the club so he can meet with everyone else. You quickly thank him for his support before driving off to head home.

The car is incredibly cold, and silent.

"Love, I'm sorry. I just needed air and got lost." He breaks the silence.

"I see that." You say softly as you drive home, keeping your eyes glued to the road in front of you.

3:23AM.

"Please don't be mad." He gives your thigh gentle squeeze. "I just got a little into my head tonight." You sighed, gently removing his hand from your thigh.

"Taehyung, I'm your fiancé, I'm doing this with you and only you. Do you even understand how worried I was? You just walked off, without your phone. Without saying anything to me. Just cause you got in your head for no reason."

"I'm sorry." He repeats at a whisper. You don't say anything else for the rest of the drive home. You silently park the car and head to the apartment, Taehyung sluggishly following behind you. He knows you're bothered, knowing it's closing to 3:30AM and you had an early morning. Honestly, he didn't realize how drunk he was until he had gotten himself into that argument with Jimin then got lost, especially without his phone. The fact that he had made you worry and stress like that made him feel terrible, especially after these past few days. You could have easily left, but you didn't leave without him even if it was this late. He instantly just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how sorry he was.

You quietly get ready for bed and line your things up by the door, just so it would be an easy quick and grab as you head out in the morning. You slip yourself into the sheets, Taehyung following shortly after he gets himself ready for bed. He shuts off all the lights and grabs himself a water bottle to sit by his nightstand before slipping in next to you.

"I love you." He whispers against your ear, wrapping his arms around you. But you don't respond. He peeks over to see your eyes shut, silently sighing to himself as he nuzzled his head against the nape of your neck. He knows you aren't fast asleep yet, and it hurts him that you hadn't said it back. You both just knew exactly how to love each other well, but also push each other's buttons. But, maybe, it was true - he was just fucking up left and right lately. Enough for you to go to bed without saying 'I love you' back.

'cause baby if i find a way, i'm sure of it, this love won't stray; just give me a chance to say i love you, and i need you. now are you here to stay, or fade away like every other day? you're the reason that i lie awake

track two: 3AM - finding hope

#bts #bts fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #kth x reader #writing #restart #restart series #sequel to perfectly wrong #perfectly wrong sequel #kth series #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung fluff #kim taehyung smut #kth angst #kth fluff #kth smut

[chvrliesapcet]

ever since olivia rodrigo released her debut album, SOUR, i have been listening to it on repeat (totally not kidding). so, after seeing a girl on tiktok do something like this, but with the avengers, i was inspired to make this post. there you go:

the poets as olivia rodrigo’s songs.

trigger warning: mention of su*c*de and mental health issues.

brutal: all of them. they’re teenagers, insecure sometimes, trying their best, but sadly not living the teenage dream (what is it, that fucking teenage dream, anyway?). “if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth, " i’m gonna cry” and they can’t quit what they’re doing, because their parents would most likely be hurt. “and they'd all be so disappointed 'cause who am if, if not exploited?” they once recited the lyrics of this song as a poem, during one of their meetings, and they were all laughing their asses off. life at hell-ton is brutal, what can i say?

traitor: knox, of course. “god i wish that you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” or “guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor” just hit different for him. he thinks about chris when he listens to this song, that’s for sure..! we can’t really blame chris for knox falling in love with her though,, sorry buddy.

drivers license: knox, again. poor boy listens to this song while riding his bike, crying his eyes out. “but today i drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around” chris isn’t with that blonde girl, she is that blonde girl. knox has never felt this way for no one, and it’s hard for him to imagine that chris is, well, doing okay without him. he thinks and talks about her all the time. “and all my friends are tired of hearing how much i miss you, but i kinda feel sorry for them 'cause they'll never know you the way that i do”

1 step forward, 3 steps back: todd. like many people (including me!) when he listens to this song, he doesn’t necessarily think of a past relationship (mostly because he has never dated anyone before neil). he thinks of his mental health struggles, such as his anxiety, instead. it’s hard, sometimes. he thinks he’s getting better, but then realizes he isn’t.. “got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like am i pretty, am i fun boy? i hate that i gave you power over that kinda stuff” need i say more? this song is as soft, but as sad, as he is.

deja vu: keating. this is.. kind of a joke, but only because i didn’t know who to pair this song with. john was an original member of the dead poets society, and knowing that now, other teenage boys are taking turns reading poetry, in the old indian cave, reminds him of his teenage years. “so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? she thinks it's special, but it's all reused. that was our place, i found it first” olivia’s music isn’t the type of music he normally listens to, but after hearing students (the poets) talk about her album, during his class, he decided he’d give it a try. he likes it. he loves the lyrics, mostly.

good 4 u: CHARLIE. he loves screaming the lyrics to this song. especially the bridge and the last chorus. “LIKE A DAMN SOCIOPATH!” cameron has to beg him to turn the volume down,, he doesn’t listen to him, obviously, and instead turns the volume up. his argument? ‘this song is meant to be played loud!’ to which cameron responds ‘but not that loud! i’m trying to study!’ he thinks looking at his roommate directly in the eye when singing “baby, what the fuck is up with that?” exactly the way olivia does is funny. cameron just rolls his eyes every time, but it’s hard for him to hide the smile taking place on his lips.

enough for you: pitts. although he and stev/phen are both super, super smart, i think meeks is the ‘genius’ of the group. and that, can, sometimes, make pitts feel like he might not be good enough for his boyfriend, whom he loves very much. “and i knew how you took your coffee, and your favorite songs by heart. i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that i was smart” whenever he doubts himself, meeks is the first to reassure him and tell him he’s more than enough, but still.. “'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you” he listens to this song with his earphones, always, so no one knows he listens to it on repeat.

happier: meeks. ever since charlie got expelled, he can’t stop listening to this song. these two were pretty close, (“he flatters me, that’s why i help him with latin”) and stev/phen doesn’t like thinking about his friend being in a new school, and spending time with other people. “so find someone great but don't find no one better. i hope you're happy, but don't be happier” he wishes charlie would still be with them, at welton, even if he hated it. “your friends aren't mine, you know, i know. you’ve moved on, found someone new” or “does she mean you forgot about me?” he’s being a bit overdramatic, considering charlie comes to see the poets at least once a week, and still attends the dps meetings.. but anyway.

jealousy, jealousy: cameron, because, yes, he’s smart and everything, but he’s still jealous of other people, and wishes he were different. he thinks he should be like the other guys. “all i see, is what i should be, happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy” he also thinks that, maybe then, people would like him more </3. he knows no one really hates him, but feels like no one really likes him, either. and in his opinion, it’s because he’s.. him. “I'm so sick of myself, i’d rather be, rather be, anyone, anyone else” just like mr. k, this type of music isn’t what he usually listens to, but he relates to this song so much, he can’t help but listen to it at least once a day.

favorite crime: neil. just like todd, he doesn’t associate this song with a relationship he had in the past. actually, he thinks of his father (and his mom, a bit, too) and all of the things his dad forces him to do, even if it upsets him. “those things i did, just so i could call you mine. the things you did, well, i hope i was your favorite crime” i know we don’t usually talk about the canon ending, but i have to. mr. perry didn’t want his son to pursue his dreams, and planned neil’s life for him, which made him feel so miserable, he sadly committed su*c*de.. but then, his dad wasn’t blamed for it, to preserve his reputation. “and i watched as you fled the scene, doe-eyed as you buried me, one heart broke, four hands bloody” todd knows this was neil’s favorite song. he listens to it once in a while, in their room, alone, and cries.

hope ur ok: all of them. do they know how proud i am they were created? after all they’ve been through, especially their family problems, i’m glad they found each other. “she was tired 'cause she was brought into a world where family was merely blood” and even when life throws bad things at them, they always stay strong, and support each other through everything. they’re very brave. “well, i hope you know how proud i am you were created, with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred” i love them, my beautiful poets <33

#dead poets society #dps #dps fandom #dps headcanons #neil perry #charlie dalton #todd anderson #anderperry #gerard pitts #knox overstreet #richard cameron #steven meeks #stephen meeks #john keating #mr keating #olivia rodrigo #sour olivia rodrigo #good 4 u #drivers license #deja vu

[nightwingshero]

How about some Wren and John for the ship thing? 👀💜

YESSSSSS! I miss them so much. Thank you for the ask!!! Under the cut because these get long. (This is also featuring Randy because honestly...without him, they would fall victim to their own chaos.)

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Forever and ever, till death do they part...literally in a few aus. Wren and John are both very ride or die, so once that commitment is there, there's no going back.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Very quickly. Wren will always deny it, but she is the kind of person that wants to be loved so badly, but love her for her. She wants to be set free and John is more than willing to give her that. They fell hard and fast.

How was their first kiss? - Welp...Wren snuck into his Ranch with Addie and Rowan to try and steal Nick's plane back...while intoxicated. They raided his bedroom and went through his clothes and alcohol and Addie might have stolen a certain bag of oregano. They almost get caught when John returns to his Ranch, so Addie and Rowan sneak back out, but Drunk Wren decides to take a butter knife to try and kill him while he's resting his eyes on his couch. It ended with her straddling him with the knife to his throat, and them making out...they deserve each other.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - John did under the YES sign because he's over the top and super cliche.

Who is the best man/men? - Randy and Jacob, the latter more for John than anything.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Whitney and Jane is forced. They really didn't have...anyone to really do this for them because most of Wren's friends were in the Resistance and they weren't exactly invited.

Who did the most planning? - They both did. Wren had ideas (color scheme, the riverside ceremony, etc) and John helped make her ideas become...expensive. Her ideas were expanded on and whatever she wanted, she got the best of the best of what John could get his tattooed hands on.

Who stressed the most? - Wren. She gets anxiety easily so she worries about the little things, but John says its fine, and he has someone fix the issues money can't.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - I mean, a lot of the Resistance, but if we're being super specific: Hurk Sr and Miss Mable.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Most of the time John, but he'll relinquish control from time to time...or Wren will pretty much take it when she's feeling extra feral.

Who is the one to instigate things? - That's a toss up, they both have a tendency to get under the other's skin.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I feel that with John's...experiences, they can last for a while. So I'm sure they're one of those couples that talk about how they're at it for hours. Honestly, good for them.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They try to, but John has a tendency to one up Wren and will push to make sure she gets an extra one in before they fully call it a night.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Three total. Two daughters and a son: Braxton, Harper, and Liliana "Lily"

How many children will they adopt? - None.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - It depends, to be honest. They try to split the work because they're a team.

Who is the stricter parent? - Definitely Wren. John is more likely to let his kids eat cookies before dinner and he spoils them soooo much.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Wren. But she's going to tell them how to not get caught after she gets over the lecture. John will ask for the dirty details and laugh.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - John. Or...well, they both remember, but John makes them because he's the cook between the two. He will make good, healthy lunches the night before and add a sweet treat too.

Who is the more loved parent? - They're both equally loved, but Braxton loves playing piano with his mom, and Harper loves painting with her dad, but all three kids love working on his plane with him. They all do things together.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Wren and John would both be there because they want to know everything that's going on in their kids' lives. They're very involved.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Wren, only because John refused to do it in public. He did tear up a little bit but Wren won't say a word about it.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - John, only because he'd show up as their lawyer, and he'd work his magic. In any other situation, they would both be equally willing to do so.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - A lot of the time, they'll ask Randy to do it because they're busy with their Herald duties in their main canon. But John is the cook in this ship, shockingly, so him.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - John. Boy...likes the finer things in life and has a refined pallet. Wren...will eat just about anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Randy. They don't have time to do it themselves, and John would just be like "that's what the Chosen are for", and uhhhh that's not the case, but Randy likes grocery shopping and knows what John likes.

How often do they bake desserts? - Very often. Or else, John will buy Wren cheesecakes when he's in trouble (or have Whitney make her some). Wren loves her cheesecake.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - A bit of both, to be honest. They both like to eat healthy and love salads and such, but Wren and John love a good steak. You can't beat it.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - John. Definitely John. He loves to do stuff like that for Wren. Though, she does do it every now and then, but Randy is the one to cook it.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - John. He's way more extroverted than Wren is.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Wren. She almost did it once...she's not allowed back in the kitchen...more on Randy's orders than John's.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Wren and John kinda do this simultaneously out of habit. One will fix the bed while the other makes sure all the dirty laundry is in the hamper.

Who is really against chores? - John whines about it the most, but Wren hates them the most. She hates doing dishes the most.

Who cleans up after the pets? - A mixture, but a lot of the time, John will ask one of the Peggies to do it without Wren knowing (she knows, she's not stupid).

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - John. JOHN. It drives Wren nuts because if you're gonna do it, you gotta do it right.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Wren because people are coming into her comfort space and she doesn't like it. She's super introverted and keeping company gives her so much anxiety.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Wren. She pockets them and makes a joke about John having so much money, he literally doesn't notice it spilling from his pockets.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - They both take long showers and baths, the water bill is terrible. Wren likes to enjoy the scalding hot water while John tries very hard to cling to the wall when they shower together.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Definitely Randy. He's a dog dad anyway, so he takes the dog out with his own as a favor.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Only for the major ones. Halloween is the biggest one, though.

What are their goals for the relationship? - They don't really have goals, they're just...living for each other and focusing on being happy for as long as the can. They're more "let's live in the present" because of everything. They also don't want to put pressure on it when its already a good thing.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Wren and John don't really like mornings, but Wren LOATHES mornings. She's not at all a morning person. John just loves to have his beauty sleep. Wren is a fucking monster.

Who plays the most pranks? - Wren. Totally Wren. Her and Randy have prank wars, and John is often caught in the middle of them.

#oc: wren blake #ch: john seed #x: two scales balanced #far cry 5 #my ocs #asks

[mistresseast]

can you explain in more detail why you think the PT weren't good friends for akiren? i'm not asking out of hate or to start drama, i just never interpreted things that way and i'm genuinely curious. i don't think them being brainwashed by maruki makes them "bad friends", but i don't know if that's what you meant either. i'd love to read a proper explanation on this that isn't just people arguing in the notes of that post.

Hi! Yeah, I know the ~discourse~ climate is pretty touchy and not a good place to exchange ideas, so I’ll do my best to put my thoughts on this matter into words. 

Settle in, bc this one is long.

I’ll start off by saying I don’t dislike the PT, nor do I think they’re bad people, and honestly I think they love Joker a lot! Ryuji calling Akira after his fake death and talking about how his ideas on what makes a hero have changed because of Akira genuinely makes me emotional, along with dozens of other scenes with the thieves! They’re good kids who could be really good friends to Akira but that’s not what’s shown in the game. I don’t think it’s controversial to say Akira’s relationships with all of his friends are transactional. That’s kind of the point, all of his confidants arise out of deals, give and take, and in the metanarrative of the game, that’s how it works. You as the player help these characters solve their problems, and through ranking their confidants up, you get access to more gameplay perks. So it’s pretty even!! But like,,Akira, the character, isn’t the player. There’s no in-story mechanic by which he can cash in friendship points for being-good-at-killing-things prizes. Yes, he uses those abilities to not die in the metaverse, but there is no literal, in-universe way to explain how hanging out with someone translates to [insert gameplay perk here]. So you have to look at what is physically happening in the story. Akira hangs out with the PT, stands there while they have drama with another irrelevant character, and then one way or another their problems get solved and they swear to be Akira’s blood brother or whatever. Akira is a crutch for these characters, and they say multiple times that they wouldn’t have been able to do what they did without him. So all of their shit gets handled and Akira gets?? Like actually gets?? What? Inquiries about his well-being? Offers to help him? Questions about his life, his interests? No,,,not really,, But he gets access to a super powerful persona!! Yay!!! Bc everyone knows he’s just a little shadow-killing machine, right? And even the relationships he does get something tangible (as in separate from the mechanics of the game) out of, like Kawakami’s, are built on the notion that if Akira stops providing for whatever reason, the relationship will end. So essentially, Akira is under the pressure of filling whatever role his friends need him in for however long at any time, and he’s been led to believe that if he stops or fails, he will stop receiving any reciprocal care and acceptance.

(And I know this is all gameplay stuff, I know it has to be like this to codify the complicated process of human relationships, I know all of that, I’m just trying to find a deeper layer bc that’s what I do.)

This whole thing comes into pretty clear focus for me during the third semester when you visit everyone in the false reality. Everyone is happy to see him, of course, but they’re clearly wrapped up in their own happiness. Which is understandable, again, I’m not saying the PT need to be attached to Akira to be good friends, but it all still feels off to me.

If they know Joker, then they’d know it’s weird that he just shows up and starts asking these pointed questions while they’re in the middle of something. All of their other interactions with him have been led by them. Yeah, Joker approaches them bc the player has decided to hang out with them, but the other character always chooses the activity and leads the discussion. Akira showing up out of nowhere and asking them to “remember” and “move on” and whatnot should be raising some major red flags. And it clearly does, since their memories do start to return, but they’re all too scared of losing their happiness that they nope out of the conversation as soon as possible, without stopping to consider why Joker might be trying to reach out to them like that. They’re his friends; they should know he wouldn’t just be trying to hurt them or make them unhappy. After all, their entire relationship with him up til that point has been exclusively about Joker trying to help them. This doesn’t make the PT bad people, running away is a totally natural reaction in that situation. They’re just kids, and their minds have been manipulated to a point, but it’s not like they don’t remember Joker or the way they’ve grown since meeting him. In fact many of them mention how much they’ve matured recently, but they never actually relate that back to Akira, despite him being the primary driving force behind most of their personal arcs, even though they definitely remember him. Translation vagueness or deliberate nod to the idea that the PT don’t actually credit Akira with all the hard work he did after their initial lip service? Hmmm. Anyway, their failure to recognize that Joker is struggling just demonstrates to me what was set up all throughout their confidant links, that their relationships are transactional and that they don’t necessarily consider Joker and his individual needs outside of what he provides for them. And when they no longer need him bc that hole has been filled, he simply doesn’t occupy the same place of importance in their lives. 

Makoto’s flashback in particular stood out to me, bc it was from a moment where she was specifically talking about feeling like she finally found a place to belong with the Phantom Thieves (and by extension, with Joker), but then she desperately tries to brush it off. Obviously that sense of belonging wasn’t meaningful enough to her for her to want it back. And I’m not blaming her, of course, any teenager would choose to have their father back over being in a vigilante group lmao, I just thought it was telling that the devs decided to show us a scene that was originally meant to be heartwarming as an example of the harsh reality Makoto wants to forget. All of the flashbacks are from defining moments for the thieves, but that one specifically got me like *thinking emoji*

So his friends are hesitant, despite the fact that they must know something is wrong. It’s understandable, they all stand to lose a lot if someone messes with the status quo. I genuinely don’t think I would react any differently. But there is someone who reacts differently and against his own self-interest. It’s Goro, the one who has arguably the most to lose, who doesn’t turn away from Akira. He seeks Akira out and teams up with him to uncover what’s really going on, even though he has every reason to believe that prodding too deep will literally mean the end of his life. He forces Akira and himself to face the truth because he knows anything else would just be an insult to what they’ve suffered so far. He’s the only one who never flinches, and that, more than any of his friends’ come-to-jesusing (which Akira still has to initiate) is what Akira needs in that situation. For the first time (outside of the brief instances in the tutorial levels), we see a situation where Akira is actually the dependent one, the one who needs help, who needs support. And the only one who has ever provided that, unconditionally, without demanding anything in return, is Goro. I could go into how Goro’s confidant blows all of the others out of the water in terms of building both himself AND Akira as characters, but it’s been said already and by smarter people than me. But basically, despite competition being a core theme of their relationship, Goro is the only character who is portrayed as Akira’s equal. Their contests are all in the name of improving not just Goro, but Akira too. Goro is the only character who expresses an interest in Akira’s inner life and development, and as such he knows Akira better than anyone else. So when Maruki tries to trap them all in a gilded birdcage, Goro won’t stand for it and he knows Akira won’t stand for it either. That’s why he’s so betrayed if you choose to accept the dreamworld. You’re negating the basis of your entire relationship with him and going against your own principles. Out of every character in the game, the one who knows Akira best and refuses to abandon him even when that could mean his own death is Goro Akechi.

I want to reiterate: I do not hate or even dislike the PT!! And tbh I don’t really think they “abandoned” Akira. That post, imo, is supposed to be kind of hyperbolic. Unless it’s referring to how many of them literally sprint away when he comes to talk to them lol. I look at it more like a commentary on how thoughtlessly the PT act as soon as their wishes are granted. I know it’s set up linearly for story purposes, but isn’t it kind of sad how no one checks up on Akira in the week he’s going around talking to people? Especially after he’s been acting so comparatively weird? It’s not unusual that they might be caught up in other stuff, but while you’re going around and visiting everyone, you don’t get a single text or call from ANY of the thieves, for a whole week!! Goro even comments on it directly with his pointed little “I’m sure you’re just as close as you were before” comment. God, he’s such a bitch. Ultimately, the PT do get their acts together, and it’s partially out of the realization that Akira is struggling alone against something and needs their help, which I love and appreciate. I think they are good friends who want to support Akira, but they can’t understand him past the role they’ve placed him in, and until they do, they’ll never be able to be what he needs. Akira loves his friends and knows he can rely on them in most ways, but those relationships will always be dogged by the pervasive fear that he must constantly earn the right to have the relationship at all. What he needs MOST is someone he doesn’t have to perform for, and from what we see in the game, none of the thieves fit that bill. Except Goro. 

I know this was long and rambly and probably pretty disjointed but I wanted to be as thorough as possible and all of my thoughts just sort of gushed out. Obviously ymmv about all of this depending on how you interpret the game, but this is what I arrived at thanks to my analysis so this is what I have for you! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

#ask tag #anon #this is not an invitation for argument or discourse #i simply wanted to provide my interpretation of things #rude and probing questions will be deleted :)

[supergirl-fanfiction]

She’s Gone

Lena Luthor x Reader

Requested by Anon-

Hi, I really like your angst imagines on lena luthor x reader. Can you do more of them? Please.

(Y/N)- Your Name

Warnings- Angst, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Self-Harm, Blood

A/N-If you are ever struggling my messages are always open.

Also I know I said it would be a Maggie x Reader story that was coming out but I just happened to finish this story a little bit before that one so I decided to post this one.

Things had gotten bad again but you refused to tell anyone. Not even your wife Lena. You didn't want to put anymore problems on her plate. She already had enough to deal with. Lillian and Lex were both up to their usual bullshit and Lena was trying to clean up their mess. You stared into the mirror but you didn't recognize your reflection. You felt tears begin to pool in your eyes as you brought out your razor. Your bottom lip trembled as the tears began to fall. You pressed the razor against your wrist and pulled the blade from your wrist to the inside of your elbow. You repeated this multiple times until you felt yourself become lightheaded. You collapsed to the floor as you went unconscious from the blood loss.

~~~~~~~~~

Lena had decided to leave work a little early today. She knew she hadn't been around as much due to having to clean up after her family and she felt bad. She was just so grateful that even through all of this you stayed with her. She truly didn't believe that she deserved you and all your love and kindness. She quickly made her way from her office of L-Corp to her car. She wished Jess a goodnight and made sure that she wouldn't be staying there for too long. As she got into her car she tried calling you but you didn't pick up your phone. A small frown appeared on Lenas face. She tried calling you a couple more times and each time it went unanswered she could feel a slight panic begin to build. It was unusual for you to miss a call from her much less multiple. She tried to shake off the bad feeling though. Maybe you were just taking a nap. She started her car and began to make her way home. You had seemed to be a little more tired lately. She couldn't blame you though. She knew that you didn't sleep well without her and she hadn't been getting home until 2am lately and leaving again at 6am. She could feel the guilt begin to gnaw at her heart. She hadn't been there as much as she should have been. She tried calling you a couple more times on the way home but she had no luck. She put her phone back in her pocket. Maybe you had finally come to tour senses and realized how much better you could do. Lena felt her heart drop to her stomach at that thought. She didn't know what she would do without you in her life. You made all the hard times bearable. Without you she knew that she would fall apart at the seams. She pushed her car to go faster as the panic began to consume her. She barely managed to completely stop her car before throwing it in park and jumping out running into the house she shared with you.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)!" She screamed.

"Please don't be gone please don't be gone please don't be gone." She whispered to herself over and over again. She checked all the rooms on the first floor before she took off upstairs. Every room that she came to that was empty just fueled the panic inside of her. What if you were gone and she never saw you again? What if she never got to show you how much she loved you? What if she never got to make up for all of this? All those what if's and more ran through her mind. She felt the tears building in her eyes and tracing trails down her cheeks. She couldn't lose you she just couldn't. Her life would be incomplete. She would be incomplete. The first room she checked upstairs was the bedroom she shared with you. All of your stuff was still there. That should have calmed her down but it only made her panic more. She knew you had a history of depression but she had thought that you knew you could come to her no matter what. You always had in the past and she had always tried her best to make sure you knew that she didn't mind helping you however she could even if that meant just sitting with you in silence. The tears began to come faster now as she realized that something much worse than you leaving may have happened. She quickly checked the bathroom in your room but you weren't there. She had checked all the rooms downstairs and the only rooms left for her to check upstairs now was the guest room and bathroom. Lena has never ran so much or so fast in her life. She opened the door to the guest room. She didn't see you anywhere. She immediately ran to the guest bathroom. When she tried to open the door she found out it was locked. She immediately began screaming for you to open the door as she began to try and break it down. She felt her heart begin to completely shatter at the thought of you being gone but in a more permanent way than she had originally thought. The sobs began to make their way from her chest. She grabbed her phone with shaky hands and dialed the only number she could think of that she knew didn't have her blocked.

"Please answer please answer." She begged whoever would listen. Thankfully the person on the other end of the phone answered.

"Why are you calling me?" Maggie asked with anger in her voice. Lena wasn't on good terms with the super friends squad currently due to her just finding out that Kara was Supergirl. Lena didn't even care right now.

"Ple...please d...don't ha...hang up. It's...it's (Y/N). They...they tried to ki...kill themselves. Pl...plea...please. I n...need he...help. Please Maggie please." Lena begged her as she sobbed. She didn't care that she was begging something she never did. She just knew that the only people who would be able to help now would be Kara and Alex. They both had her blocked though after everything that had gone down. There was a moment of silence on the phone. Maggie couldn't believe what she just heard and all the anger she held in that moment completely vanished.

"I will have Kara and Alex head you're way immediately. I need to know how bad it is though. What did (Y/N) do?" Maggie was trying to stay as calm as possible.

"There are cu...cuts from th..their wrist to the..their el..elbow. I don't... I don't know how many. There's so many. Maggie please please I can't lose them." Maggie's heart broke at the sound of the younger Luthor breaking down. She may have held anger against her for the way she dealt with everything but she wouldn't wish this on her. Maggie knew how important (Y/N) was to Lena. She was honestly scared of what would happen to Lena if they were unable to save you.

"Alright, Alright. Alex and Kara are on their way right now. They should be there soon." As soon as Maggie finishes saying that Kara appeared in her Supergirl suit with Alex in her arms. J'onn was right behind them in full Martian appearance. The sight that greeted them would haunt them forever. There was a pool of blood around you and Lena was kneeling in it. Lena has your blood all over her and she wasn't even sure how it had gotten on her. Alex and Kara locked eyes and no words were needed. Kara picked you up as gently as she could and before Lena could even say anything Kara had taken off with you. J'onn picked up Alex and left with her following shortly behind her. Lena was left alone in the pool of your blood. She knew she should do something, anything but she couldn't move. She was frozen in that moment. She had no idea how long she was sitting there before Kara had appeared in her vision. Kara held out her hand and Lena just stared at it for what felt like an eternity before placing her hand in Kara's. Kara lifted Lena up and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. That's all it took for Lena to completely lose it. She held onto Kara like she was her only lifeline in this world. She sobbed into Kara's shoulder. Her whole body was shaking and she held onto Kara a little tighter. Kara felt her heart break at the state Lena was in right then. She wasn't sure how she was even supposed to tell Lena the news now. She didn't feel like she could.

"Let's get you cleaned up alright?" Kara spike calmly to Lena. The news could wait until Lena at least no longer had your blood all over her. Lena nodded her head slightly but refused to let go of Kara. She felt like if she let go she would break apart into a million tiny pieces. Kara was the only thing holding her together in that moment. Kara could tell Lena wasn’t going to be letting go anytime soon so she picked her up and carried her to the bedroom she had shared with you. She set Lena down in the bathroom and Lena slowly let go of her.

“Take a shower and I’ll set out some pajamas for you.” Kara spoke softly to Lena. She knew she had to be gentle with her actions and words. Lena just nodded her head slightly. Kara took that as a yes and left Lena to herself. Lena couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle seeing herself covered in your blood. She slowly stripped herself of her bloody clothes before stepping into the shower. She turned it as hot as she could possibly stand. At first she just stood there under the water and watched as it turned from clear to red from your blood. She turned and grabbed her loofah and began to scrub her skin raw. She scrubbed every inch of herself and she still felt like she wasn’t clean. She could still feel your blood in her hair and on her arms and hands. She slowly sank to the floor of the tub and wrapped her arms around her legs. She buried her face in her arms and tried her best to muffle her sobs. She stayed like that until the water ran cold. She probably would have stayed there all night but Kara knocked on the door and she knew she had to get out and get dressed. She let out a quiet coming and quickly dried off before dressing in the pajamas Kara had left for her. When she walked out of the door Kara didn’t recognize her. She looked nothing like the strong empowering boss that Kara knew she was. She looked like a scared little girl lost in the world. Kara immediately wrapped her in a hug. Lena did nothing. She no longer had the energy honestly. She just wanted to know what had happened to the love of her life. She pulled back from Kara slightly and cleared her throat before asking,

“How’s (Y/N)?” Kara’s face immediately fell and that’s all Lena needed to see to know. She ripped herself away and began to pace back and forth as she shook her head.

“No. No. They can’t...please don’t...Kara please.” Lena couldn’t even get out a full sentence. Kara felt tears gather in her eyes at the state Lena was in.

“I’m so sorry Lena. Alex....she tried everything. There just...there was too much blood loss. I’m so sorry Lena. I’m so sorry.” The scream that came from Lena as she fell to her knees wasn’t human. Kara had never heard a sound like it in her life. Lena began to pull at her hair and punch the ground.

“NO! NO! NO! NOT THEM! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!” Lena screamed through her sobs. Kara felt her heart shatter as she watched one of the strongest people she knew crumble in front of her eyes. There was nothing Kara could do. There was nothing anyone would ever be able to do. Lena has just lost her entire world and nothing would ever be the same. Lena would never be the same.

[pbandjesse]

Today was wonderful but I also got pretty bad sunburn on my arms and chest and back. Oops.

I slept good, though it was very hard for me to fall asleep. I took a melatonin and was able to sleep well after that. I woke up with my alarm at 730 and while I wasn't super excited to get up I did and soon I was ready for the beach!!

I loved my dress. I wore my bathing suit under it. James looked super cute in their yellow button down to match me. Love them. We had a long drive to Rohobeth Beach. I have never gone and I was excited!

It was an absolutely beautiful day. Here in Baltimore it apparently rained most of the day. But it was 85 and sunny at the beach.

The drive out was nice. It was about 2 and a half hours. We had excellent music and lots of laughs. It was a good day.

Getting closer to the beach we had some traffic. But we weren't in a rush. It was about 1030 and I am glad we left when we did because parking, it seems, is at a premium there.

We parked at the end of the beach where the state park is. But I wanted to be close to the boardwalk. Mostly so we wouldn't be to far from th bathrooms. We got all our stuff and headed out.

I honestly have always hated having to much stuff at the beach. Even when I was a kid. I found it like super cringey to have like a ton of stuff. So even us just each having a backpack and a chair each and our small cooler. That is on the edge of the cringe precipis.

We found the bathrooms. Didnt have to wait to long. I put on sun screen and talked to some girls outside the bathrooms while I waited for James.

We walked to the beach and set up but then I realized we couldn't see the water so we moved everything closer. There were a lot of people. It wasn't like. Unreasonable but there were a lot of people and a lot of umbrellas. Our little one tried to escape at one point but it was okay. I held on to it.

But what I wanted was to be in the water!!! Which was a little chilly when you first got in, it was actually like the perfect temperature. It was amazing. The sand was soft. There weren't many shells so I didn't collect any. But I would spend so much time just in the water enjoying the waves.

James did join me a bit! They are scared of the ocean but they came in with me twice and it was a lot of fun bouncing with them and laughing. I had an excellent time with them.

When they left to go sit in the sun for a while I ended up having a fun talk to a woman who wanted to know all about my tattoos and we ended up talking for like a half hour and we were body surfing on the waves together and laughing. I felt like a little kid making a friend at the beach who Ill never see again but it was super cute.

I hadn't eaten breakfast or anything so I decided to go have a snack and read with James for a bit. I did reapply my sunscreen on my legs but I didn't on my top half like a fool!!!

Around 1 we would take our backpacks (left our stuff) and went up to the boardwalk to get a pizza. Which took a bit but it was good! A little more sauce then I want normally but its all good. I enjoyed people watching and eating and it was good.

James has insisted that I share that there was a boat. That has Trump written on the side. And had an LCD screen with text, misspelled, just with different alt right talking points. It was just really sad. Like what else could they be doing with their Sunday afternoon. It was disappointing but also like. Your life probably sucks if that's all you can think to do with your boat?? Boring.

I enjoyed being in the water for a while. James came too. We were on the beach for almost 4 hours and it was just great. But I sort of felt done. I wanted to explore the boardwalk too. Even if I was afraid of being to hot. But we packed up our set up and headed back to the car.

It was the middle of the afternoon at this point. We both got changed at the car. I had more sand in my suit then I had hoped. But whatever. I felt bad because people kept coming to our car to ask if we were leaving because there is. No parking at this point in the day. On Labor Day weekend. But we had paid for like 6 more hours so we weren't leaving yet.

We walked the boardwalk. It is pretty small compared to a lot of places Ive been. But it was a really nice place! I played a few claw machine games. Won on my first go! Got this cute little puppy. I didn't win any others but I was very surprised to see how many squishmallows were in the claw machines. And really this was a very affordable boardwalk overall. The claw machines were $1 or less. The only disappointment I had was the photobooth didn't work. But its okay. We took lots of other pictures.

We walked all over. Went to their little ride attraction place called Fun Land. And I insisted on us going to the Haunted House ride and for real this was one of the best ones I have gone on! It was like a ride one and it was a little neon inside but it was really good!! I sort of wish we got the stupid picture at the end but I got a great laugh out of it because our eyes were so big we got startled. It was great.

James did so many things that made them scared today. And they did it because they love me! And that makes me so happy.

We finished the day going to their little town square. We saw a bride and groom taking pictures!! We got a very sour (positive!!) strawberry lemonade, and then we got sandwiches at five guys. No fries or anything. Just the sandwiches and then it was time to go home.

We loaded up the car and made sure we had drinks and then we were off.

It wasn't a bad drive home. Just long. We had a story podcast we have been working through. I thought I would fall asleep but I didn't. Mostly because my skin hurt. My legs didn't burn but my arms, my back, and my chest is very very red. And it started hurting more and more as the hours have gone on.

When we did finally get home it was sort of raining still. We brought our stuff up and I put things away. James decided to go to 711 to stretch their legs and I took a black tea bath to try to help my poor skin.

I put aloe on and it helped but I am a little hot to the touch. I put a hoodie on because I thought at least the fabric would feel nice. And I am right but also afraid of being to warm later. Well see what happens I guess.

I had some soup. James came home and helped me put aloe on my back. An went to play a video game with their friends. And I iced my skin. But now I very much want to go to sleep.

Tomorrow is Labor Day. Not that is actually means much anymore. James is working still. I am going to do my styling work and some art. I would like to start deep cleaning our rooms. I think maybe I will pick one every day? And just take everything away from the walls and such and really attack the spaces. But I know I really need mental energy for that took. So we will see what happens.

I hope you all sleep good tonight. Take care of yourselves! Goodnight!!

[cdt12345]

I was talking to @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog about Shameless 10x07 after we watched it, like I always do and she told me I should post my review. And since I love her so much, I usually do whatever she tells me to do. Lol!

I really liked Carl's story line. He has such a big heart, and that makes me love him so much! He, out of all the Gallagher's, reminds me the most of Ian. He has Ian's big heart and I really love that!

gif source: @carlgallaghers​

Lip and Tami's story lines have been so fucking boring, but this week has to be a new low for them! But since I don't care about them, it's not upsetting. I'm just baffled that the writers think this is interesting stuff. Also, that they think this deserves longer scenes over Ian and Mickey's scenes.

Now onto sandy. I see why the people with spoilers were saying she was gross. I totally get it and now she can leave. I hate that they're going to have her involved with Debbie. That is, if it's true. I don't even want to think about her being involved in the wedding! Ugh! 

Also, are people gonna get pissed off at her, like they did Ian, for her talking about incest. The only difference here was she wasn't joking like Ian was. But I'm sure people won't give her as much shit as they did Ian.

“It’s not like we’re related.” They have the same last name! Terry is her uncle and his father! Does she not know how relatives work? I know it’s too soon to judge her with less than five minutes on screen. God knows Mickey didn't make the best first impression either. I don’t know any of her background, but knowing what the Milkovich life is like, I’m sure she hasn’t had it easy. So, I’ll still try and keep an open mind, but I can’t see myself loving her.

This show doesn’t need more characters to waste valuable Gallavich screen time, because we all know the producers will choose anyone else’s scenes over Ian and Mickey, every fucking time.

If it is true about her and Debbie, why do they have to keep doing this? Do all the Milkovich's have to date a Gallagher to be involved in the story line? They're going to be legally related to each other. They don't need excuses to involve the Milkovich's and Gallagher's anymore. They're going to be family. I know they're not blood related, but I find it weird for family members to date from the same family. I found it weird with Lip and Mandy. 

That happened in my own family. Without getting too much into it, my uncle married his sister-in-law and my mom and I always found it weird. I know it's not blood relatives, but legally they're already related and we always found that strange.

It's like that here. The only Milkovich and Gallagher that belong together are Ian and Mickey. They need to stop! They don't need to use that as an excuse to involve the Milkovich's in the story lines anymore. Old habits die hard for these writers, I guess.

Screen time was better than last week, that's for sure. Still don't think it warranted a huge Gallavich campaign, considering how much they made it out to seem like this would be their season. But it was definitely better than last week.

Domestic Ian and Mickey was all I ever wanted! We may have gotten a minute of it, but it's better than nothing and I was so happy. I freaking loved it! Did you see how happy Mickey looked?! Being all lovey dovey, blatantly checking Ian out and being domestic in front of other people, without fear or shame. I'm so happy for Mickey! And Ian, bc this was all he ever wanted with Mickey as well.

THE LUNCH DATE!!!! Mickey got Ian his food and everything! How did they plan this lunch date?! Did they plan before he went to work? Did Mickey call Ian? Text him?! Did he know what to get Ian already? Was it Mickey’s idea? Was it Ian’s idea? I was brought to tears and that kind of made me mad. I shouldn't be crying over very mundane, normal shit that most couples experience, because we never get this for them. It took 10 seasons to get to this point and it shouldn't have taken that long.

gif source: @gallaghersdaily

But seeing them do normal couple domestic stuff was a beautiful thing and all I ever wanted for them! Of course until the bitch P.O. showed up. I knew she would want to get Mickey involved in her shit. (She was on SNL last night too and I was so conflicted about it. LOL!)

Even though the situation wasn't great, I was super thrilled to see Mickey riding shot gun in the ambulance with Ian. I know that's not the focus of this scene, but I always wanted to see that and I never thought I would. 

gif source: @gallaghersdaily

When Ian became an EMT while Mickey was gone, I thought he'd never get to see Ian work and I always wanted him too. I knew he'd be so proud of Ian and would love seeing him work. The circumstances weren't great but, a wish of mine came true. 

If I'm being honest, a lot of moments did in this episode and apparently the next. Ian and Mickey walking outside with their arms wrapped around each other and laughing. OMG!!!!

gif source: @seeallmydreams

I knew when I saw Noel run from the cop in the BTS video, this was how it was gonna be. The cop shows up and his first instinct is to run. Mickey's probably like, Ian you idiot why aren't you running and Ian is like, Mickey you idiot why are you running? I love them so much!

gif source: @seeallmydreams

To think that was the final scene they filmed for the season. I pray it won't be the last. I need married Gallavich next season! A full season of them married! I MUST HAVE IT!!! 

I feel like they may renew it. I think Shameless has been around so long, that Showtime runners would want to give them a farewell season. They've been doing that with their other shows, that haven't even been on as long as Shameless.

#my thoughts #and ramblings #cameron monaghan #ian gallagher #noel fisher #mickey milkovich #gallavich #ian x mickey #carl gallagher #ethan cutkosky #shameless season 10 #shameless us

[truthisgoldenau]

IT'S PRIDE MONTH

for a moment there I accidentally had Pierce's photo under Marian's name oop

Time to officially confirm some AU canon LGBT stuff! Each character is their own pride flag but I'll add in other stuff that's canon in universe plus some bonus stuff at the bottom.

First up is Freddy Fazbear Jr! Gay all the way.

He's definitely the "move I'm gay" type

Was honestly super freaked out to tell his dad but went with the bold approach of bringing home his first boyfriend and blatantly announcing their relationship as such as a challenge and was honestly surprised his dad wasn't bothered by it

He was around 13 at the time and so the twins and Fred were still in touch with Maddie's parents and brother. All three were incredibly supportive (and still would be)

He absolutely had a crush on Bonnie Burnette even though he had never talked to him. Since the twins and Bonnie went to the same high school he knew of Bonnie, thought he was a dreamboat, but because Bonnie was somehow in with the popular kids (it was the money 100%) Freddy didn't even bother

Frankie Fazbear! My ace son! (The ears are wrong blame the app lol)

Honestly doesn't even know he's ace until much later

He's had crushes before but he's never been in a relationship (part of it is the attempt to communicate since he's mute sort of stops him)

He wasn't even sure it was worth mentioning to his dad so Fred never knew

This boy can hold so much love in his heart but he's not a very physical person that's all

Fred Fazbear Sr! YES. HE'S BI.

Only Maddie even knew he was bi. That he knew of. Some people probably figured it out with his over the top always on personality.

Fred was constantly sure that Pierce picked up on it particularly after the Christmas mistletoe fiasco but if Pierce gave a shit he never said anything.

Frankly it was amazing that more people didn't pick up on it. He was over the top about everything until a point.

While he didn't overreact to his son very blatantly announcing he had a boyfriend, he was very proud of him. It was a very Fazbear family way to come out. Even though he got so distant, he was always proud of his boys.

Bonnie Burnette! Also bi!

Being constantly surrounded by the popular crowd and always being the sort of stand out with purple hair and stupid purple bunny ears didn't do much to make Bonnie feel like he could even tell anyone he was bi.

Really the only reason he was even in the popular crowd was he was rich.

It made him less of a target for bullies at least cause the jocks wouldn't stand for anyone messing with him.

Knew Frankie from math class and honestly wished he could have talked to the quiet kid with bear ears as an alternative to the entirety of the popular group

Sort of in the background of the AU story very quietly develops a crush on Freddy and then thinks "oh God I like the troublemaker NO"

Chandler Cicily! Lesbian!

Would absolutely describe her sexuality as "girls"

She's starting to discover it during the AU (even if it's not a topic that comes up but that's why there's this post about stuff lmao).

She's the baby of the group since she's 16 when the story starts and relationships aren't important to her yet

But the crew still support her when later she's like "maybe I just wanna bake things for a cute girl and let her put flowers in my hair is that too much to ask" (Marian always chimes in with "mood")

Marian Mengele! An absolute bi icon!

Listen, her one goal in life may be to find her lost childhood friend, but that doesn't mean she's solely interested in this one Irish redhead

That said she's definitely only dated redheads

She's not afraid to be open about her orientation. It doesn't bother her. She's seen as weird already what can it hurt.

That said she falls for Finn so goddamn fast when she finds him that she questions herself and then is like "no wait I'm definitely not straight"

She's very upfront with Finn about it. There's no reason to hide this from him (or anyone) and if they're a thing she wants him to know.

Finn being the wonderful human being still loves her and it doesn't bother him. Why should it? He's just happy to be with someone who loves him.

Chetana might be Chandler's fake big sister but Marian is like fake mama when it comes to Chandler finally coming out.

God bless Finn for being the kind of person to sit and let Marian braid his hair with flowers because that's one of Marian's favorite things to do when her partner has longer hair and Finn's never really bothered with keeping his hair short THESE TWO ARE ICONIC I love them

Pierce Graves! A shitty pansexual icon

First off he absolutely knew that Fred wasn't 100% straight he had no idea how it wasn't immediately obvious to everyone

That said Pierce literally did not give a shit who knew about his sexuality

As shitty as his whole personality was he could turn on the charm easily

His parents definitely knew but he was already a punk ass rebellious teen at the time so they have him the "be careful, don't get anyone pregnant" talk and worried from afar. If it bothered them, Pierce never knew because they made sure that he could still count on them (even though at the time Pierce didn't really talk to them much about anything)

Fred absolutely knew though I mean they were good friends

He's not a romantic. He's never really had a meaningful relationship because he's not that type of person. To be honest, there's a piece of him that saw relationships that worked and wondered how that would feel but he knew that wasn't for him. He figured that out way early on when he asked his granddad why he didn't have a grandma and Mortimer Graves didn't sugarcoat the answer. "She wasn't happy with me. I gave her the choice. She could stay and be miserable with my lack of a decent personality even though I was already struggling to not be such an ass or she could go and find someone who actually made her happy. She chose happiness, and while it sucks that she drifted out of my life and your dad's, she's better off."

Pierce could frankly always tell that he was more like his granddad and as much as he sometimes wanted to know if he could even out up with a meaningful relationship, he avoided it. Better to not hurt anyone and wonder than to become the catalyst for someone else to overcome, right?

Fritz Smith! Gay!

The shy bumbling mechanic of the early 90s Freddy's ? Gay? It's more likely than you think

He was still far in the closet in the 90s He was young, living at home still because he had just gotten out of school, and while his parents weren't super conservative, he also didn't know how they'd take it

Found a friend in the day guard Mike Schmidt early on. Mike was looking for a roommate since his last one had moved out and Fritz jumped at the chance

They are like totally boyfriends by the time they cameo in the story though

Mike Schmidt! Another gay icon!

Mostly invited Fritz to live at his apartment because he felt bad that this poor shy mechanic was getting constantly harangued about the animatronics having problems

Was glad to let Fritz complain about it and even cry it was very stressful but Fritz needed the money

Mike liked him. It would be hard not to really. Fritz was a sweetheart.

Mike didn't ask him out till much later though he wasn't quite sure that Fritz was gay and didn't want to ruin their friendship.

Luckily it didn't and as it turns out they worked well in a relationship.

Fritz's parents had to take some time to get used to it when finally Fritz got the nerve to tell them but as soon as they did there was no end of support from them

Mike's parents were the opposite which was mainly why he already lived by himself but oh well he got a cute boyfriend and cool parents-in-law later it was kind of a win

Daniel Hartford-Dunn! Gay!

Presenting Maddie's older brother!

outside universe fact, he's loosely based in my actual cousin who lives in California with his husband.

He's 7 years older than Maddie was. Despite that, they were still close. Maddie's parents wanted more kids but struggled to get the two they had.

He's an accountant for a corporation and his boyfriend (and later his husband) is a pilot.

Last time he saw his nephews in person was at Maddie's funeral. He misses them terribly but over the years less and less contact came from his brother in law

Sometime in 2006 though he ends up getting a call from his nephews and there's this great reunion.

He's just. This chill older guy. Who loves his family. And doesn't care what people think.

Since I can't put anymore photos, here's the bonus content!

-as mentioned last night Dr. Phillip Guy is on the ace spectrum. I don't have anymore details about that at the moment unfortunately.

-Charlie Emily is a lesbian. The Emily twins were born in 1980. They haven't appeared in the AU yet even as cameos but they exist. Considering in AU canon the Emily family is alive and well in Hurricane, Utah without an Afton to be found, Charlie's dating her childhood friend Jessica at around the time the AU events are happening.

-Sammy Emily is trans and bi. Both Henry and his wife (who I know I at one point named but don't remember what it is anymore) love their two daughters to pieces.

That said I'll make a post at a later point introducing the Emily family because so far I've only officially given the design for Henry and not the rest.

In line with canon, Spring Bonnie/Springtrap can be counted as gay.

While Fred kept the shows at the diner pretty simple and straightforward, there was definitely this subtle underlying idea that Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were a content gay couple although if asked it was easy to present them as friends. At least, that was during '81-'82

However!

Fred also had Henry help him program in a special one time only song called Springtime for his and Maddie's anniversary in 1983, which was of course a love song. Fred always thought of that as being mostly for his wife, and partially as a turning point thematically for the two characters.

Henry was on board with this. They still kept it subtle, but there were clear moments where it was pretty much certain that the only way to interpret Spring Bonnie and Fredbear was as a couple. It was either so subtle that no one was bothered or Spring Bonnie's chosen voice was so ambiguously non-binary that no one thought it was odd.

Fred had plans for it to become more "canon" but never got to implement them since Spring Bonnie got damaged before he could.

Springtrap, being sentient and able to later interpret his emotions, is very confused about how he as a machine was meant to feel about this character he knew but the more sentient he becomes the more aware he is that he misses Fredbear and that he loved him. It's the cause of a lot of internal conflict for him. But he can be counted in the category of LGBT characters in the AU.

Happy pride month ya'll! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[euphoriacrossing]

So while I sit here trying to get normal balloon spawns...

I may as well write a blog. I am using a guide post on how to catch normal balloon spawns to try and get more cherry blossom recipes. Well I am only half using it.. I am camping on the beach waiting for normal balloon spawns instead of going there every 0/5 ending minute. I'll share the guide on here after this if I remember, but I already got one new cherry blossom recipe just by camping on the side of the beach that balloon spawns are coming from and ignoring the bunny day balloons, so I think this could work, too.

Anyway, now story mode is over, but I still have so, so much to do that it's not even funny. I am making it my main priority to save miles up to buy all the different paths and stuff. I think I have three left to buy so roughly 6,000 miles to earn. But saving miles means making less bells as Nook mile trips are where I made the most, I think. And now I can't take them because I have no miles/am saving miles and so I don't have the bells to pay off my house or to build a new bridge or any of the things I am saving for. But in part the fact it is harder to save bells just makes it feel like I have more to do and that is comforting in a way. I want the appeal of this game to last forever but I know my brain doesn't work like that. Still for now it's the best distraction I have and I'm grateful for it.

Having the ability to make paths is tough because it's just another million decisions to make and hope I get it right or can redo it better or whatever, so that Euphoria becomes the island I dreamed it could be. Right now I have a lot of dirt paths and I think they look okay. But I plan on redoing them someday with either custom paths or maybe just the arched tile ones... I like that path style. Still I started when I just had dirt so I just kind of kept going that way.

It looks alright, I think, especially at the entrance. I haven't finished a lot of the paths on either the right (residential) side or the left (wooded area/orchard) but I have mostly finished the center which is shops and such.

(So far I've gotten a normal balloon spawn every 5 minutes! So it works to just hang around the beach and then look for the spawns at every 0 and 5 ending minute. Edit: Aw, nope just didn't get that last one... I am probably doing something wrong then. Oops Edit2: Definitely doing something wrong. Didn't get a spawn again. Oh well I'll check the guide again once I finish this post. I am also watching for wishing stars so it won't be a total waste.. though I haven't seen any of those either. Last edit: Guide said spawns don't happen every time AND I just got another regular balloon, so maybe I'm fine? I hope I am not just wasting time.)

I am moving most of the houses before I do the paths on that side which is ANOTHER expense for sure, but after seeing a couple of my friend's islands, I knew I could make the houses probably a bit straighter and I decided I want them not quite as closer together as I want everyone to be able to have a yard. One of my friends has houses that are PIN straight and have little yards to them. I don't think I can accomplish that. But I do think I can space them out far enough to fence them in and have little yards.

So I started with the last to move in which was Marina. I put her in a space both by the beach, and by my house because even though she just moved in we're absolute besties. No but honestly, I love her. She sings like everywhere she goes and it's adorable.

I would move Beau next but I think he might stay close to where he is. Unfortunately if I have to move him a little bit I first have to move his house out of the way and then move it back because you can't move buildings just a tad, you have to find a whole new spot. This is why I had to move the whole museum to a new spot as it was slightly out of line and i couldn't just move it to where it lined up. I wish i had known this when i put things there. I didn't take care placing anything because I knew it could be moved. I only ASSUMED it could be moved a small amount as well especially since I assumed correctly that you were paying for it. But no, so oh well, now I have to come up with new spots for things, that's fine. Luckily both Nook's Cranny and the Able Sisters I got in perfect alignment with resident services like I wanted to so they're all on one straight path.

Anyway, I hope I can get it looking like i want it to. I thought that decorating it how I wanted would be the hardest because I still need to find all the furniture. But the paths might give that a run for it's money when we talk about difficulty level if you include trying to get all the houses in the right position and such.

But as hard as I've been "working" (it's definitely still fun or I wouldn't do it) I have found plenty of time for play as well. Yesterday morning I visited a friend for her KK Slider concert. I luckily have a good group of friends from a discord I'm part of and a lot of them are from other countries so they experience stuff before I do and things like that. So a bunch of us visited her for her KK concert and we did some of that...

And then things got a little wild...

Lol, it was fun. I thought for a second about the state of the world but I didn't panic thankfully. I just saw a bunch of us coming together from across the globe, some of us in quaratine, almost all of us at least ADVISED not to go out unless necessary. The world is a scary place right now, but the fact we could still come together from across the globe to be silly and enjoy a game together makes me feel like everything might be alright. I mean, it would still be cool even if these things weren't going on, but the fact they are abd socialization is becoming more difficult than ever, it's cool to see an alternate means of that in action.

I can't believe I took no pictures of her super straight houses, ugh, if I go again, I will have to, they are literally perfect.

And the weirdest thing about all of this to me is how included i feel in all of this. We're all on a small AC discord together and it seems like a lot of them have maybe known each other a while. But unlike a lot of other places it doesn't feel cliquey to me. I've always been welcome to come to their islands, and they have always been very courteous when any of them have come to mine. They act as happy to see me as they do anyone else. And I've only known them a short time so it would usually feel strange to call them "friends" but it doesn't. Now obviously they could feel differently but if they do they don't show it. I am incredibly grateful to have found them. I really couldn't ask for a better group of people to play with.

I actually was invited from this tumblr. Likely after I made some kind of post about not feeling like I belonged in the AC community or something similarly emo and whiny, I'm sure. So I am surprised I was invited at all, but I am so thankful I was. It was just what i was looking for in the AC community.

(Yes! I learned cherry blossom umbrella! Balloon hunting is going fairly well considering I only had like two of the cherry blossom DIYs total before I started and now in about an hour I've doubled that.)

I do have some facebook friends and such I have play AC with, and I am also grateful for them as well of course. It has brought us closer together and I am thankful for that. I have one friend who we constantly send each other gifts like if we accidentally got two of something or a DIY we already have or just if we think something is cool, it's really fun. I enjoy mail as much in game as I do in real life.

But yeah, I was nervous when this game first came out that I would be stuck playing just with my sister. And don't get me wrong I love playing the game with her, we always have a good time. But sometimes you need socialization beyond your own family and I really saw this as my one chance to connect since I'm not very social, I am very anxious, and I just struggle with these things. I may have been right about it being my best chance at connection because I can hide a lot of the awkwardness in game. Very thankfully though, I found people who accept what I can't hide in game. And who accept me. For some reason that's just been really hard to do. Every community I am a part of I feel like an outsider until now. But yeah, I am looking forward to a continued friendship with these people and continuing to enjoy the game moving forward.

I guess I've rambled enough. I still need to get more balloons, but I can't write here forever. Though... I frequently do write far too much here and I wonder if it get read. If it doesn't I don't blame ya. But yeah. I will leave you with this adorable pic I took while Marina was singing... you can't really tell she was singing, but still, she's adorable either way.

(And don't you love this dress? I have it in I think 4 different colors, I just love it.)

#personal #text post #ACNH #Animal Crossing #New Horizons #Euphoria #friends