My gf just dumped me over text and i feel like ive lost it. I don’t have the motivation to eat, workout or even get out of bed. I feel pathetic and the worst part is, she left me for her skinnier, prettier best friend that she told me not to worry abt. I wonder if i was skinnier would she have still liked me. Maybe she just got tired of having someone like me around, someone who’s overweight and ugly
Everybody think whatever you want, be whatever size you wanna be, like whatever you like but I don't think it's possible to romantize your life if you're fat and ugly. You can be skinny and ugly or fat and pretty and still get some respect in the world but if you're fat and also ugly you're fucked. When I see a person like that I feel bad for them. I don't hate them or will be mean to them but I have to admit, for first impression I look down on them, even if I'd help them, they don't inspire me at first sight. And that is the last thing I want people to feel for me. I want people to look at me and feel my energy and think "i want what they have" even if they don't like me as a person. If you aren't inspiring people might like you but they will never truly fall in love with you or look up to you. And pretty skinny people that are just very romantizable are naturally inspiring because they look good and that mixed with confidence creates this very addictive energy to them. That's why I am so obsessed with being skinny and pretty. As much as I hate it, there comes a privilege with having what others want because at the end of the day we all want to get on top, but even if not, at least we definitely don't want to be left at the bottom and get stepped on by those living our dreams.
day 16: a long time ago. i've had an ed since i was 16 (23 now). but i've really committed to the weight loss since a year ago, after i had been in "recovery" (long term binge) for a year or 2.