#that's how happy i am with this

[kawaiilizzie]

Finding My True Strength

I wanted touch upon Shion's inner feelings during her training to become a swordswoman in Unsheathe the Inner Thunder for a while and recently found the motivation to write this following Noel Hayase's recent illness which she has since recovered from. So have some Shion angst with some KaeShi fluff at the end.

Warnings: Spoilers for Saber up to episode 26, angst, and self-doubt issues.

"That's not right."

Daishinji grabbed Shion's arm and adjusted her position again. "From one." He said.

Shion swallowed hard, feeling the pressure starting to build. She swung the wooden blade forward for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "One."

The swordsmith didn't say anything. She swung again. "Two." And again. "Three."

Daishinji-san hasn't stopped me yet. I must be doing better. I could do this… She thought to herself before she swung again. "Four."

"No." Daishinji knocked her blade with his own. "You didn't swing far enough. Start again from one."

Tears welded up in Shion's eyes and she blinked them away. She was exhausted, it felt like every movement she made was criticized. Daishinji had taken forever just forcing her to hold a good stance, reprimanding her every time she fidgeted or adjusted which even Naoto thought was a little harsh.

Now the goal was to get to ten basic strikes without a mistake. Shion got back into position and steeled herself.

She did four successful swings like before. Her hands shook, but Daishinji didn't say anything. Naoto noticed and gave Shion a soft smile of encouragement.

The room they were in was cold. There was a small window and Shion could see the snow blowing around outside.

"Don't shift your grip." Daishinji said as he grabbed her wrist. He adjusted her fingers until he was satisfied. "From the beginning."

Naoto could tell Shion wanted a break. She wasn't even moving around that much, but she felt physically drained.

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on her, Tetsuo?" She asked her chosen warrior. "Why don't we switch to another exercise?"

"I know, but this is what all new swordsmen go through." He sighed. "We'll move on as soon as she finishes this. Every lesson builds on the last. The next move is a variation on this. If she doesn't have the base down, she'll only get worse not better."

"I can still hear you two you know." Shion said through gritted teeth as she swung. She needed to focus. Don't let my grip slip. Keep my feet planted firm. Eyes forward. Look at the target.

She had gotten in six successful swings when the clock in the corner chimed loudly. She turned to look at it and Daishinji's sword bounced off her forehead lightly.

"Don't let yourself get distracted." He said.

"What time is it?" Shion asked as she squinted at the clock while rubbing her forehead. "How long have we've been training for?"

"It's eight. We've been training for an hour."

"Only an hour? It felt like it was longer that." Shion checked her watch, its hands on eight and twelve. "I'm starting to get why only one in hundred who can hear the swords make through training."

Daishinji decided to give her a break from the technical training by letting her read some important manuals that can help her with the training. It wasn't going to be fun, but it would be a nice break from repeating the same move over and over again.

Despite knowing that the books she had to read weren't going to be as engaging as the romantic stories she's read, Shion found herself stuck on the first chapter. The point was processing the information, but she'd lost her place on the page she was on. She scanned down the page again finding where she'd left off.

The farther she read, the more obvious it became that Daishinji had been quoting the book. But she quickly realized that she can't afford to skip over anything even as she flipped back to the previous page to figure out something about stance.

"How many chapters did you get through?"

She jumped as Daishinji appeared behind her without warning. She wished she could lie, but he was already leaning over to check for himself.

"I got to page ten." She said quietly. The first chapter was twenty pages. She knew because she'd checked several times as she slogged through the first couple pages.

"I'd hoped you'd have gotten farther." Daishinji sighed. "I don't see much purpose in moving forward if you haven't gotten to chapter two yet. There's a lot of important information there."

Shion looked down as tears built in her eyes again. I can't do anything right, can I? She thought to herself. I'd expected the training to be physically difficult, but I can't even get to the strenuous part. Maybe everyone was right, and I should give up…

"I'm heading home, I'll prove myself by tomorrow." She said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "I have to go to work too."

"That's fine." Daishinji assured. "Juggling your regular obligations with training is important. Take the book and get through the first three chapters before tomorrow morning. Ryo will do his trials then."

She looked up at him. "So, you do want me to come back?"

"If you're willing to put in the work, you can continue." The swordsmith responded before turning and exiting the room.

Shion stood and reached for the heavy tome, but Naoto picked it up for her. "Don't worry, I'll help you carry this."

"Thanks, Naoto." Shion sighed in relief.

Later at her and Kaede's apartment that night, Shion focused on reading the book, clearing up the confusion she had earlier and carefully reading the first chapter. As she began reading the second chapter, she noticed Kaede turning on the music box that was on the nightstand by her bed. The soft music it played touched her heart.

"Do you think I can become a swordswoman?" She asked.

Kaede turned to look at her. "Of course I do. You have the potential, I know it."

Shion looked down at the floor, feeling her tears begin to fall. "But no one else seems to think I can. Even Daishinji-san has doubts since I couldn't live up to his expectations during training today."

She sobbed softly as her tears plopped onto her hands. Kaede looked at her with a sympathetic smile as she walked up to her and sat down next to her on the couch. She held her roommate's hand gently, brushing tears off of it as she did.

"I believe in you though, Shion-chan." She said with a soft tone. "As long as you keep a strong wish in your heart, you can do it."

Shion gazed into her soft brown eyes. "Even if I can't transform like you did?"

"Aw, don't say that… I'm sure you'll be able to one day." Kaede gently brushed her hand across her face, wiping away her tears. "Then we can fight together, wouldn't that be amazing?"

Shion nodded as she smiled. "Yeah, it would. You're right about all of this, Kae-chan. I shouldn't be doubting myself like this."

Her roommate simply returned the smile before the two of them embraced each other in a soft, warm hug. Outside the window of their apartment, a shooting star soared by. Shion watched it from her spot on the couch, her smile growing brighter.

"I wish I can always be by your side forever." She whispered.

Kaede hugged her tighter yet gently. "Me too. We'll make that wish come true together."

#my writing #kamen rider #kamen rider saber #kamen rider oc #shion akamatsu #kaede shinaki #kaeshi #daishinji tetsuo #sound seirei naoto #i teared up writing this #that's how happy i am with this

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

#dungeon meshi #kabru #laios touden #falin touden #Happy Thistle Thursday once again. Have I been holding on to this comic for several weeks? Sure have! #I forgot how long it takes for Chimera Falin to come into play. #I still really love my 'better drawn' art of her - unfortunately it was several weeks too early for the anime only folks. #Slowly getting the hang of drawing Laios. I don't know why I struggle so much but I am getting...somewhere. #Meta time: God damn I love how the chimera shows off the expertise and gap between Kabru and Laios. #The truth is: they are both *right* and they are both *wrong*. #This creature is a combination of monster and human and they only have the skillset to deal with one of those. #Kabru goes for all the human vitals - but she isn't human. #Laios tries to approach her as a monster and is struck down by the humanity he sees in her. #She is something new that defies what they *both* understand about the world. And that makes her such a perfect antagonist. #The damsel was the dragon all along! #...She is really so cute though. Terrifying! But adorable. I am so excited to see the boom of fanart for her.

[fremulon]

forget Resting Bitch Face, I have Resting Competent Face. People see me and think ah yes she can point me to the nearest train station. Fellow grocery shoppers ask if I know what kind of butter they should buy. If a strange man speaks to me on the street it is literally always an inquiry and never a catcall. Once someone randomly asked me what an equinox was and after I told her she nodded and said "you seemed like you'd know." why am I assigned oracle at random interaction

#cherry whines #the thing is I actually love to provide useful information so you bet I am Happy to Help but like how can they TELL

[hinamie]

surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

#my art #yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #yoi #fanart #katsuki yuuri #victor nikiforov #victuuri #yoi fanart #this was the secret 4th thing that lost the poll jdsfgsdfjj #id been thinking about doing a tribute since getting that one ask but i didn't anticipate how Into it i would get once i started #the way i flew through this piece .. just over 1 day??? insane #yuri is /that/ ingrained in my muscle memory #I was looking at refs and ?? id forgotten how wild this show was #we just got all of that?? a pole dance a proposal a kiss a pair skate....and it was ALL canon? incredible #AND YEAH UNPROMPTED HISTORY MAKER PLAYS IN MY YT MIX #dean fujioka jumpscare #also looking back at my old yoi pieces was so wild. that ws really 8 years ago huh. #little bit of an ego boost looking at how far ive come #but also im just grateful idk sry 2 b sappy on main #i hope 16 year old me is happy that i did this bc im happy i did this #edit bc i forgot a bunch of white outline i am a fraud

[hajimedics]

I'M NOT YOUR DOLL AND I'LL THINK FOR MYSELF AND I'LL LIVE FOR MYSELF

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #senjart #so #so. SO! #SO ABOUT TODAY'S UPDATE. WELL. #WELLLLLL! #eddie is happy. eddie is happy! #so excited for eddie's lobotomy arc #I have many MANY thoughts about today's update. by far the best one I should say #so much implications of the situation the puppets are in #how sally is so.... harsh towards eddie #and we got shown him having an outburst when hes left alone and doesnt know what to do #like he's so underappreciated but. delivering mails and making papercrafts are all he knows #his reison de'tre #his depersonalization on the armchair during the advertisement segment AND how frank reacted to it #he dropped the ''mr dear'' pretenses and called him ''eddie'' in such a concerned voice #AND MY GOD. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! #PUPPET ON THE STRING THEORY REAL? SCRIPTS THEORY REAL? OR AM I JUST TWEAKING #HMMM HMMMMMMMMM #ANYWAYS I'LL THINK OF MORE STUFF TO ADD HERE ONCE IM NO LONGER SLEEPY

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[zephyrine-gale]

raiden shogun ⚡️

#genshin impact #my art #raiden ei #raiden shogun #very happy with how this one turned out!! #also my concept of time is ded i am just posting whenever i want now

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one... #I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat. #it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl...... #I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense.... #if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

[birbs-in-space]

curious about what's in store for you for 2024? :D

Let AO3 decide!

(Updated from 2023: Up-to-date tag bank, opt-in tag categories, optional dark mode! As always: proceed with informed consent.)

#new post #clearing out my original tags since they're not 100% accurate but as always this has been a labor of love and also (new!) collaboration #do you know how hard it is to go thru 13k tags and categorize them? so thank you to my dear friend for proofing these #this update has been in the works since june or july (though i worked on it very intermittently) #and i am SO happy to be done with it for the time being #because i very much have other responsibilities LMAO

[guinevereslancelot]

it's a beautiful day at the roman senate and you are a horrible goose

#happy ides i have no idea how a toga would even begin to look onna goose #i am aware the toga makes no sense but i was at a loss how to put it on the goose 😂 #ides of march #julius caesar #horrible goose #peace was never an option #memes #tumblr meme calendar #this has been a shitpost #humor #bad ms paint meme fr #how is this at 1k lmao

[mizgnomer]

David Tennant dancing on the set of The Giggle - Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Specials

The Doctor doesn't even dance in the UNIT scene - this is all pure, joyous David Tennant

also featuring Neil Patrick Harris, Ncuti Gatwa, and Ruth Madeley (who are all glorious)

#david tennant #doctor who #neil patrick harris #ncuti gatwa #how joyous is this? #how joyous am i?!? #the happiest regeneration ever #rtdedit #dw60 #ruth madeley #doctor who spoilers #btsGiggle #fingers crossed they'll release even more bts footage #of dt dancing #stuff i posted #words can't really express how happy I am with this episode #david dancing #whoBts

[sushirens]

after years of waiting, we finally got a new irl zits pic to turn into a weezer meme, who cheered.

#impulsesv #hermitcraft #hermitblr #skizzleman #tangotek #zedaph #zedaphplays #sushi’s faves #i am so proud of how fast i made this at work thats why it looks busted #but we finally got an updated zits pic im so happy <3

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Okay so I need someone who's better at landscapes and art style replication than I am to hop on this idea. because this man and his alien planet biome and storyline were made for the scavengers reign art style fr

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitcraft 10 #rendog #renthedog #scavengers reign #idea that was stuck in my head so bad I finished three full illustrations in a day #these are all screenshot redraws from the show for those who haven't seen it #you should see it by the way. literally one of the coolest pieces of art ever made and I am not exaggerating in the slightest #but yeah. he and his minecraft speculative alien biology were made for this fucking show #I'm actually really happy with how these came out it's been so long since I've tried drawing in a different art style like this

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[petrichara]

Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

#growing up #girlhood #grief #I saw a childhood friend yesterday #she was working #and after twelve years of knowing her it had been a year #her hair is longer #her smile brighter #and the intense sincerity of the happiness we shared for one another was heavy and freeing all at once #I don’t know when we stopped playing #and I know life has gotten in the way #but at some point all our dreams became options #with the life I choose daily I am happy #and still #I wish we could go back once to when nothing mattered but how fast you could run #childhood friends #they know you even when you don’t know yourself #mine

[hollis-art]

uhhhh happy valentine's day

#i dont like how this drawing turned out but i like the spirit of it so i am posting it anyways #happy valentine's day! #star trek #tos spirk #tos #star trek the original series #fanart #spirk #james t kirk #spock