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tightjeansjavi · 4 months

Note

Hi!! Love your writing!! Can you write a cowboy fetish joel miller with boot riding 🥺🥺

Hi nonnie! Thank you for sending this in! It scratched my brain just ✨right✨ and I hope it does the same for you! I couldn’t just do some boot ridin’ without some plot ;) enjoy 🤠

Dinner & Diatribes

~word count: 3.7k~

Pairing | Cowboy/bounty hunter! Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: you’re the kind of love that Joel Miller has been dreaming of all his life

Warnings: smut,fluff, angst, cowboy in shining armor vibes, unprotected piv, boot ridin! dick slingin, mutual masturbation, voyeurism, implied age gap, dom/sub vibes, sir/mister kink, implied abuse (not by Joel) Joel is a bounty hunter during the Wild West, reader is a runaway bride wanted for murdering three men, filthy language, pining, protective! Joel, assumed unrequited love, swearing, AU that might not 100% be historically accurate but I tried! reader has no physical descriptions such a skin tone or body type, readers nickname is Chickadee, +18 minors dni! Let me know if I missed anything!

Joel Miller knows that keeping a bounty for himself ain’t the way to go about things..he knows that there’s consequences for his actions, an imminent problem would surely arise if he didn’t bring you back to the town you fled from. Wanted for the murders of three men. A wild untamable thing on the run is how the sheriff described you to Joel. And the most important detail of all; I don’t care if you bring her back alive, or in pieces.

And then Joel found you, tracked your trails for miles and miles through the barren rough terrain of the Wild West. You didn’t even put up a fight when you heard the distinct sound of thundering hooves drawing nearer and nearer. You were exhausted, dehydrated, and on the verge of collapsing to the dusty earth while vultures circled ahead.

This didn’t mean you gave up entirely when Joel Miller had you circled, cornered and lasso at the ready. That’s when he took notice of your state, your attire. A once glittering wedding dress now hanging on by threads of shredded fabric. The bottom tooled fabric was now a dirty sand color, blending in with the dirt. Remnants of your eye makeup cracked and stained beneath your eyes and cheekbones that were once painted in a pretty pigment.

He watched from the saddle of his horse as you sank down to your knees, awaiting your inevitable fate to be delivered. “Have you come to turn me in, Mister?”

His head cocked to the side, eyes studying your vulnerable form intently. You couldn’t see his face as it was obstructed from your view with a tied bandana, but even from where you sat on your knees, you could see that his eyes were a deep shade of brown, dark and mysterious.

He dismounted his horse swiftly, silently, boots tearing up dusty patches of earth with each heavy step he took. The spurs on the back of his boots chimed through the air as he stopped in front of you. His broad frame casted a shadow over your kneeling form. His hands were encased in worn leather, and he smelled of tobacco smoke, saddle soap, and musk.

He crouched down, hat tipping forward while one leather clad hand reached for your jaw, thumb brushing across your skin as he tilted it upwards, forcing you to look into his eyes. He saw your grime and dried blood stained face up close. Your eyes flickered nervously as he turned your head to the side.

“Ain’t you gonna get on with it and turn me in? What’re you draggin’ this out for, huh? You caught me, mister. Go and collect your fuckin’ reward.” You spat defiantly into the dirt, a glob of salvia landing on the toe of his boot.

His grip tightened around your chin, jaw ticking sharp like a knife, eyes narrowing in on your face and the subtle wobble of your severely cracked and dry lower lip.

“What happened to you?” He finally spoke. His voice reminded you of fire crackling, ominous thunder and heavy rain. Thick, gravelly, deeper than the Grand Canyon itself.

“What’s it matter if I tell ya, huh? You gonna take pity on me or somethin’ mister?”

He was silent again, appearing deep in thought as he continued to study your face, searching through the grime and dirt for any clues..then, he saw it; The eyes of someone that suffered abuse. His grip around your chin softened

“Stand up.” He commanded.

You struggled to your feet, confusion etched in your features, the obvious sway in your step before two strong hands grabbed your shoulders to steady you.

“We’ll have to move fast.”

“What’re you—” You were still confused, head spinning from his words and malnourishment.

“I don’t turn in folks that killed outta self defense, Chickadee. And certainly not a woman that killed her abusers.” He gave you a curt, tight nod. “Better you than I cause I woulda tied those sons a bitches up and dragged them through the fuckin’ desert.” He rasped.

“You’re..not turnin’ me in?”

“No. Ain’t morally right for me t’do so.” He said softly.

And that’s how you ended up riding through the countryside with Joel Miller to protect you. You’d patch up his shiners, his wounds, keep his belly full with hearty stews that kept him strong and alert. You’d clean his gun, shine his leather till you could see your reflection in the fabric. And in return, he protected you. He never asked for any sexual favors, or for your hand. He viewed you as his equal, his partner.

It hurt sometimes, to flirt with the man you owed your life to and for him to brush your attempts off everytime. As if you were a pesky horsefly, or insignificant gnat. Yet, you couldn’t help it. Joel was handsome, ruggedly so and you’d often find yourself fantasizing about kissing him, feeling his fingers touch you in places you craved to be touched in. To feel his caress on your skin, the bite of his leather, the scrape of his scruffy beard. The stretch of his cock inside of your wet cunt.

You were driving yourself mad with want for a man that didn’t want you back, or so you assumed that was to be the case.

That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Joel Miller was on the edge to finally just give in when he caught you one night with your skirts hiked above your thighs with your boot clad feet firmly planted in the dirt. Under the pale glow of the moonlight above, and the glittery shining stars, he could see your hand between your thighs, touching yourself and moaning his name.

It felt wrong to watch you, to invade your privacy and your modesty. But he’d be damned if he’d go another night without feeling the hug of your pussy around his aching cock. Or to feel the taste of your kissable lips on his tongue. Damned. Damned. Damned. Fuck, he couldn’t survive another second without knowing what it was like to be loved by you.

For years he had pushed you away despite knowing the pain it caused both you and him. A man could only last so long pretending to not love a woman that he’d throw his life down for in a heartbeat. That’s the kinda love Joel Miller had been dreaming of all his life.

Your head snapped at the sound of a twig snapping behind you as your hand stilled between your thighs. Your heartbeat rattled wildly in your rib cage at the fear and excitement of being caught.

Oh, please. Please let tonight be the night.

“Don’t stop on my account, Chickadee.” He drawled deeply before stepping closer to where you sat.

The heat rushed to your cheeks like a wildfire spreading, your stomach clenched inwards as you began to touch yourself once more, eyes staying locked on his own.

When he was close enough, you used his shins for support as you rubbed your swollen clit in tight, fast circles.

“No.” He shook his head. “Slower. Take your time, darlin.’ There ain’t no rush. Let me see you.” He rasped, before slowly sinking into the dirt behind you. His strong thighs corralled your own almost possessively as his hands gently grasped the hem of your skirts, pulling them up higher. You felt the brush of his beard against your cheek when his chin came to rest along your shoulder. “Nice and slow for me.”

“I’m—sorry, Joel.” You whispered ashamedly through the cool darkness of the desert night. You slowed your fingers, dragging them through the building slick that pooled between the seam of your cunt.

“Sorry for what, Chickadee? Sorry for touchin’ yourself? For moanin’ my name? Why would you be sorry for that?..” His deep tone sent sparks flying through your body as you leaned back into his strong chest.

“Because—you don’t want me, and this is wrong for me to do. To touch myself and moan a man’s name that doesn’t desire me the way I desire him.” A whimper was clawing up your throat, begging to be released, but you wouldn’t allow it.

He dropped the fabric of your skirts briefly only to dip his hand between your thighs and place his massive palm over the top of your hand, guiding your fingers over your clit once more. “This man desires you plenty, Chickadee. I was only tryin’ to protect your modesty..and our hearts.” He whispered against your ear, lips ghosting across your exposed skin. “Been wantin’ to love you all these years we’ve spent together.” He admitted. “I’m a terrible, rotten man for keepin’ you starved this long..” he trailed off, pressing open mouthed kisses at the spot where your jaw met your neck. “M’sorry.”

Those were the last words you ever expected a fucking bounty hunter to whisper..let alone to you?

A shuddered breath slipped past your parted lips, just for him. Your head lolled to the side, granting him easier access as your lashes fluttered shut. “I’ve felt like..such a fool, Joel. A dirty little fool for a bounty hunter.” You took your lower lip between your teeth, biting down harshly and drawing blood to the surface. You let him take full control of your hand, letting him guide and manipulate your fingers to play with yourself just right.

“Shh..I know now, Chickadee. M’sorry, truly. But I’m here now, ain’t I? M’here. Here forever if you’ll have me. I understand if I've bruised and neglected your heart far too many times..I can accept your rejection if it is coming.”

You could detect the edge of sadness in his tone, the acceptance already settling into his bones and heart.

“Joel, please kiss me.” You nearly begged him, dying to finally know what his lips would feel like on your own.

“Why didn’t ya just say that sooner, Chickadee.” He chuckled. “I wish ya woulda just grabbed me by the breeches years ago and knocked some sense into my thick skull. Woulda taken your ache away a long time ago, darlin.’” He said in a hushed whisper. “But I know you were afraid..can’t blame ya for that. Not really. ‘Specially since I ain’t the nicest of men to come by.”

He was taking too long, and you were an impatient woman.

“Joel.” You huffed, fighting the urge to curse him out before you decided to take matters into your own hands, finally. Tomorrow was never promised, not when you and Joel were constantly on the run.

He kept rambling on until he felt the soft touch of your fingertips brushing against the patches in his scruffy beard and the magnetic pull drawing him in closer, closer till he could taste your mingled breath on his lips.

Here in the middle of the desert, with nothing but the moon and stars as a source of light, you finally knew what it was like to kiss Joel Miller. You learned his lips quickly, liking that they were both soft and a bit chapped. As you licked slowly into one another’s mouths you could taste the faint remnants of tobacco on his tongue. It was a bruising kiss, one that both ignited the fire deep within you, and sent a delicious tingle curving down your spine.

So, this is what the girls back home were all talking about. Being kissed by a real man.

And then you found yourself straddling him in the dirt, saying fuck all to your modesty because you had never wanted a man more than you did now. And you wished that your mother could see you now. To see what her perfect little daughter had turned into.

Fuck you, mother. Fuck you for forcing me to marry that monster.

Joel brought you back down to earth with both his lips and his words tattooed on your skin. He caged you with his body, acting as a shield from the chilly night ear that sent goosebumps rising.

He worked your blouse open, growing more frustrated by the minute when the clasps wouldn’t automatically give. He was desperate to feel more of you, all of you because he knew then that you were his, and he was yours. And if you’d end up being the death of him, so be it. At least he could go out being loved rather than unloved.

“You gonna fuck me now, mister? Gonna take what belongs to you, Joel?” You mumbled against his lips in a chasing kiss, growing more desperate as the seconds ticked by.

“Gonna do more than that, Chickadee.” He rasped. This was a promise, and a man such as Joel always kept his promises.

The howl of a Coyote far off in the distant sent uneasy nerves rolling through you, because the realization hit you then that you and Joel were out in the fucking wilderness, and you suddenly felt bare and exposed.

“Jus’ a coyote, doll. He’s singin’ to the moon. We’re safe here, I promise. Ain’t ever gonna let somethin’ happen to you again, Chickadee.” His strong calloused, yet gentle hands came to cup for your face. His deep brown eyes met yours through the pale glow of the moonlight casted over your faces. “I swear on my life, you will always be safe with me.”

and while the lone coyote sang his song to the moon, Joel Miller had you singing your own song, just for his ears too.

After that night spent together, you never had a night where you slept alone. Joel was always there. Holding you, kissing you, fucking you into a blissful state.

He still feared for your safety, and you feared for his. This would never change, but you refused to live in fear for the rest of your life.

It was a boiling hot day under the blazing desert sun. You and Joel were moving west towards California. Hearing about the gold rush there sounded like as good of an opportunity as any. Not even just for the gold, but the prospects of a new life. Joel had dreams of owning a ranch, sheep specifically and living out his days with you by his side.

“Come join me for a swim, cowboy.” You were sitting side by side under the one single tree along the river's edge. Your two horses were drinking their fill after traveling for days in these conditions.

Your cowboy had his arms crossed behind his head, biceps bulging under the thin fabric of his shirt. His hat was tipped down over his head. You only witnessed Joel being fully relaxed on a few occasions where he would let his guard down for just mere minutes.

“Mmm. That’s alright, doll. Y’go on and enjoy yourself.” He said with a lazy sigh.

“Just a quick one together? Please?” You reached over and gently lifted the brim of his hat just enough so you could see his closed eyes.”

“Chickadee..” he said in a low warning tone, peeking one eye open to look up at you before he shut it once more.

“You’re no fun.” You huffed while releasing your gentle grip on his hat.

“M’plenty fun, doll. I gotta keep watch, anyway. Can’t do that if I’m stark naked in the river with ya. What if someone tries to sneak up? Won’t have my gun at arms reach.” He sighed.

“I know, Joel.”

Maybe when we get to California..he won’t have to worry about all of that.

He sat up turning his body to face you before his palm came to rest upon your cheek in a gentle caress. His thumb brushed across your lower lip, tugging it down gently before he leaned in and kissed you sweetly. “Now go on and cool off, Chickadee.”

You kissed him back with the same amount of sweetness before you pulled away and gave his nose a light boop. His face scrunched inwards before he reached around and gave your ass a light and playful swat that sent you giggling as you rose to your feet.

You shot him a seductive wink before you raced down to the river's edge, kicking up a cloud of dirt with your boots.

Joel watched from afar with a hooded gaze as you stripped down from your skirts and blouse followed by your unlaced boots. He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself when your one boot wouldn’t give right away and you nearly tripped before finally getting it off. He kept watch as you dove into the crystal clear waters and reameraged moments later.

He reached into his pack, pulling out an apple and pocket knife while you splashed around like a kid on Christmas. He cut off a small slice before biting it off on the edge of the knife, chewing thoughtfully as he leaned back against the sturdy tree.

When we get to California..I’m going to marry her.

He didn’t want to end your fun so soon..but it was time to get moving again. He brought his thumb and forefinger into his mouth, whistling to let you know that it was time to pack up.

You had been floating peacefully on your back with your eyes closed when you heard his whistle that immediately tore you from your daydream state.

He was just about to stand up from where he was resting against the tree when you emerged from the river. You reminded him of a goddess. Bare, beautiful, skin sprinkled in water droplets that were kissed by the sun. You looked unreal, and he was the luckiest man alive.

“C’mon, Chickadee. We gotta head out.” He called for you when you were within earshot.

“I’m coming!” You bent down to gather up your clothes before the idea struck you. “Can I dry off first, please?”

He let out a grumbled sigh before he ultimately nodded his head in agreement. A few more minutes couldn’t hurt..

“Jus’ till ya dry off, doll.”

With your clothes and boots gathered up in your bare arms, you approached him casually, setting everything down on your nearby saddle while he watched you with piqued curiosity.

“I was thinking about you out there..laying on my back and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin..” you trailed off.

“Is that so? Hmm..what were you thinkin’ about, Chickadee?” His eyes slowly trailed down your bare body. From the swell of your breasts, down your tummy and thighs and what lay between them.

“Want to take a guess, cowboy?” You asked teasingly.

His brow raised as a grin tugged along the corner of his lips. A game is what you were playing, and he was the willing participant.

“Based on your tone, I’m gonna guess it’s got somethin’ to do with..my cock?” He wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner while his hand casually came to rest between his own thighs. Oh, he was playing alright.

“Mmm..perhaps I was thinkin’ of ridin’ your cock right under the shade of this tree..but that would be too obvious, Joel.” Your eyes drifted down to where his hand was before the traveled down the expanse of his strong thighs and ending at the toe of his leather boots.

He caught onto your drift almost immediately and you saw his pupils begin to darken. “Y’wanna ride my boot? Is’that it? Well, ain’t you a filthy thing, Chickadee. You wanna get ‘em all shined up for me? Drag that sweet cunt of yours over them?”

His eyes stayed locked on yours in a challenging stare while he palmed himself through his pants to relieve the growing tension.

“I do, sir. I really, really, really want to ride your boot.” You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks because never in your wildest dreams did you expect to take part in debauchery such as this.

“On your knees then, girl. Kiss ‘em for me.” He fell right into character with a flip of a switch.

You found yourself lowering onto your knees without a care in the world about the dirt while you bent down over his boots, pressing a kiss to the leather, dragging your tongue down the stitched seam.

“That’s it, doll. Get ‘em nice and shined up for me.” He said while popping the button on his pants open and pulling his cock free from the confines.

“You gonna touch yourself while I ride your boot, mister?” You were sitting upright again before you crawled closer, letting your hands rest along his thighs as you positioned yourself right above his left boot. The imprint of your kiss had already begun to dry from the scorching heat.

“Yeah, doll. I’m gonna fist my cock while you ride my boot like the dirty Chickadee that you are.” He spat into his palm before he wrapped his fist around the base of his cock just as you lowered yourself over the expanse of his boot, taking your lip between your teeth when you dragged your clit right across the smooth leather.

“Fuuck me. Ain’t that a sight. Look at you, fuckin’ filthy girl. S’feel good, Chickadee?”

You rolled your hips forward slowly at the rate that he was pumping his fist. A soft whimper slipped past your lips while your eyes stayed locked on his.

“Feels so good, mister. So—so good.” You moaned freely with each steady roll of your hips, chasing that high. Nothing would ever compare to Joel’s cock. You knew this, he knew this, and you also were aware that this little game would only last so long.

And then he watched you lose yourself completely on his boot with each roll and grind of your hips against the dampened leather. Crying out his name, nails digging into his covered thighs, head thrown back, tears nearly flooding your eyes.

He had the same sense of urgency and realization that nothing would ever compare to the warm hug of your pussy around his cock. That’s when the game ended as his strong arms came to lift you into his lap by your thighs. His lips met yours in a bruising kiss filled with intermingled moans and teeth clashing together when he finally slipped into your warmth.

California could wait a little longer, he wanted to savor this moment for as long as it lasted because now he had the love that he had been dreaming of all his life. Right here in his arms, cock buried to the hilt under the shade of this very tree. Right here with his Chickadee.

That’s the kinda love I’ve been dreaming of

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roosterforme · 2 months

Text

Always Ever Only You Part 32 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You try to keep it together as much as you can in Annapolis, but that's easier said than done. Bradley realizes that while this week feels unbearable, a deployment would be much worse. And you cautiously tell Bradley there are two people you think should be the first ones to know about the baby.

Warnings: Swearing, adult language, pregnancy topics, angst, fluff

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

Monday morning came way too early on the east coast, especially when you barely slept and couldn't stop throwing up. "Why?" you groaned from your spot on the floor next to the toilet. You had exactly three hours until you had to give your presentation at 10:00, but Cat was already texting you from her hotel room across the hallway about getting breakfast. You'd be lucky if you could stomach a single peanut butter cracker and squeeze yourself into your uniform on time.

You crawled back out to the bedroom and rummaged in your suitcase for one of the ginger candies Bradley packed for you. It couldn't hurt at this point, so you shoved it in your mouth and pulled yourself up onto the bed. It was amazing that you could possibly feel this shitty. Your ribs and back hurt from constantly throwing up, and you were starting to feel dehydrated, but the idea of drinking something was too taxing to even consider.

"Why are you so mean?" you moaned as you rolled onto your side, letting your hand rest on your belly. "I actually love you, and you're being so mean to me all the time. Why?" You sucked on the candy and laughed. "You'll prefer your dad, I can already tell."

You kind of wanted to call him, but you didn't want to wake him up at four in the morning, so you settled on trying to get dressed instead. It was amazing that you did nothing but throw up, yet you were still all bloated and puffy. Your khaki pants were a little too snug for comfort, but you had no other option at the moment. When you looked at your butt in the mirror, you shrugged.

"Whatever," you whispered, buttoning your shirt as your stomach growled angrily. "Please, make up your mind," you begged your body as you heard a knock at your door. You pasted on a fake smile and opened it to reveal Cat Coleman looking like a million fucking dollars while you looked like a sewer rat. "Morning," you rasped.

Her eyes went a little wide as she pushed your door open. "Did you not get any sleep? You look awful."

You huffed out a breath, realizing you buttoned your shirt up wrong. "I'm fine," you muttered as you fixed it. "I'm just not quite ready to go yet."

"Yes, I gathered that much," she replied, eying you up and down. "Are you going to be able to present today? Because I can't do this without you."

You shot her a scathing look. "Of course I can present today. I'm fine. Great. Golden." You were in all honesty on the verge of throwing up again.

"Okay," she said with zero conviction. "Well, just knock on my door when you want to grab some breakfast and head over to the Naval Academy."

"Will do," you promised her. As soon as she was gone, you gagged into the toilet one more time before brushing your teeth and putting on enough makeup to hide the fact that it looked like you were going to fall over.

You felt weak as you tried to eat a pack of crackers so your stomach had something in it. This was a lot easier when Bradley was with you, rubbing your back and holding a glass of cold water for you to take sips from. You moaned softly and fought against the tears. If you thought about him too long, you were going to cry. Or worse... start to get turned on.

"I don't have time for this," you whined as you checked your phone. How was it already 8:00? Fuck, it was still too early to call Bradley, but now your mom and dad were both texting you to see if you were coming for dinner on Thursday. You knew you were going to have to invite Cat to come with you, since you only had one rental car. The idea of trying to get through the night with all of them was too much to consider at the moment.

Ignore it. Ignore everything. That was all you could do. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Focus on the presentation. Focus on not throwing up. That was the key.

You knocked on Cat's door, and she opened it immediately, dragging the tub of equipment out into the hallway with her. "It's late, so I figured we would eat breakfast and then head right to the conference?"

"Sure," you replied, picking up one end of the tub. But it really was heavy, and you struggled to get it to the elevator with her. "I'm actually not that hungry, so we can just get whatever you want on the way."

Cat scoffed. "I wanted to eat at Waffle House. I miss Annapolis so much."

Just thinking about the sticky floors and smell of maple syrup was turning your stomach at the moment. "Maybe we can do that tomorrow morning instead? Since we don't have our second presentation until Wednesday?"

"Fine," Cat agreed, and the two of you took the bin out to the rental car. She offered to drive, and you let her. Apparently you fell asleep on the ten minute ride, and she had to wake you up to go through security. "They want your ID card to get through the gate," she said, shaking your shoulder.

"Oh," you groaned, digging it out of your pocket and handing it to her.

"Seriously, are you sure you're okay?" she whispered as the guards inspected the car.

"Just jetlag," you promised, resisting the urge to roll down the window and barf. "I'm totally fine. Let's get this show on the road."

-----------------------------

Bradley poked at his burrito bowl in the cafeteria. Even the green hot sauce wasn't helping his mood since you couldn't actually eat it right now. It was just making him sad. He'd written five pages in the notebook for the baby, but it just made him miss you more. He wondered what you were doing right now. Surely your presentation must be over, but he hadn't heard from you. Maybe you had already checked in with Bickel. Maybe he should go up and talk to your boss and see?

"Wow," Nat said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Focus, Rooster."

"I'm sorry," he replied, trying to give her his full attention. "What did you say?"

"I asked you three times if you wanted to go see the new Tom Cruise movie with me tonight. I have a coupon for a free large popcorn that's about to expire."

"Yes. Absolutely." He'd do anything to keep himself busy this week. "What time?"

"6:30. I'll pick you up so you can call your wife from the car and talk to her before she goes to sleep east coast time."

"Sounds good," he agreed, taking his phone out to let you know about his plans. After work, when he was eating a bowl of cereal for dinner, you finally wrote back.

Baby Girl Bradshaw: The first presentation went pretty well. Have fun at the movie. I love you.

"That's it?" he asked Tramp after reading the message twice. Nat knocked on the door at the same time he called you.

When you answered with a soft, "Roo," followed by a groan, he had to take a deep breath.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" he asked as he headed for the front door to let his friend in.

"No," you moaned. "I had a rough day. I feel disgusting, and now your voice is making me horny."

This was admittedly not the best time for phone sex. He paused as he said, "Nat just got here, but if you need me to cancel the movie plans, I can do that."

"No," you gasped, "don't cancel your plans. Go have fun. We can talk tomorrow."

He shook his head as he said, "I'd rather talk to you now. I'll cancel."

"No! We can talk now. Put me on speaker so I can say hi to Nat."

"Fine," he agreed, unlocking and opening his front door. Tramp made a run for Nat as Bradley tapped the icon for speakerphone and said, "My wife wants to say hi to you."

His best friend took the phone right out of his hand and had a full conversation with you while she rummaged through the refrigerator and helped herself to a seltzer. Bradley stood there as patiently as he could, simultaneously feeling annoyed that you were telling Nat all about your presentation while also feeling relieved that he remembered to hide the ultrasound photos. You and his friend laughed and laughed together, and then he started tapping his wrist to get her to move things along.

"We'll be late," he told Nat, and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Here's your husband back," she told you. "Have fun in Annapolis. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone less annoying."

"Don't tell her that," Bradley said as he turned off speakerphone. "Don't listen to her, Sweetheart."

But you were just laughing now as he held the phone to his ear and followed Nat out to the driveway. He had to kick aside so much trash to get in her car, he was about to offer to drive instead, but she was already starting the engine. "This is fucking disgusting," he told her, covering the mouthpiece of his phone. "Clean your shit."

She just tore out of the driveway and said, "Talk to your wife before we get to the theater."

"Are you in the car?" you asked softly.

"Yeah. Unfortunately," he grunted. "Can you tell me about your presentation?"

"I nailed it even though I threw up so much this morning," you told him, but then you moaned. "Am I on speakerphone?"

"No."

"Bradley! I am so fucking horny, Daddy!" Your voice was extra whiny, and the last thing Bradley wanted was an erection in front of his best friend, but he could hear in your voice how badly you needed him. "I was talking to Commander Patterson after my presentation, and I swear Roo, he asked me if Top Gun aviation was a good fit for me, and all I could think about was your cock the whole time. I even told him that things from Top Gun aviation are a really snug fit for me!"

Bradley felt his cheeks warm up. He had no idea who Commander Patterson was, but he said, "I think Top Gun aviation is the place for you, Sweetheart. Nothing else is gonna fit you quite right."

"Bradley!" you whined, and the sound went straight to his cock as Nat adjusted the air conditioner settings. "Fuck, you remember that time you fucked me in the back of our Bronco after I texted you dirty photos at dinner?"

"Yeah," he grunted, closing his eyes and actually trying not to think about it.

"Remember on our honeymoon when you finger fucked your cum into my pussy and then traced my tattoo?"

He growled out your first name. "I absolutely do, but I think perhaps we should talk about that later?"

"Yes, yes, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm going to get my vibrators out and listen to old voicemail messages you left for me so I can get off, okay? Have fun at the movie. I love you."

The call went dead right as Nat pulled into the parking lot, and the trash at Bradley's feet shifted as she went careening over a speed bump. He was trying to catch his breath. All he really wanted was a little more information about your presentation and to make sure you and the nugget were okay, but what he got was a semi that he was trying to keep at bay.

"If I get nachos and a soft pretzel and popcorn will you eat some?" she asked as she parked.

"Yeah," he grunted as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Listen," Nat said as she fixed her hair in the mirror. "I know you miss her, and rightfully so since she's way cooler than you, but if you just give me one word answers all night, it's going to piss me off."

"Sorry," he added, trying to remember how to talk. Right now you were possibly getting off while listening to old voicemail messages that you kept? Of him just talking to you? Jesus, why was that making him so hot?

Nat was glaring at him now. He needed to focus.

"I'm sorry. No more one word answers. Let's go. It's time for Tom Cruise."

-----------------------------

When you woke up on Tuesday, you were snuggled up and so warm, you reached for Bradley. "Roo?" But when you opened your eyes, you were met with the sterile looking hotel room through your blurry vision. Now you remembered talking to Nat and Bradley on the phone before masturbating and falling asleep. When you sat up in bed, you definitely didn't feel as awful as you expected. And when you eased yourself to standing, you were surprised that your stomach didn't lurch.

You had one text message from your husband, and when you put your glasses on to read it, you laughed.

Bradley Rooster Bradshaw <3 <3 <3: baby girl, i'm going to need you to describe in detail for me exactly how you got off. while listening to my voicemails? please, as much detail as you can. i hope you came hard thinking about me. i love you. the movie was good. i'll take you next week if you want.

You wrote back to tell him that you did in fact come while you listened to a long rambling voicemail he left you a few months ago about how he left the house without his shopping list and made it all the way to Costco before he realized it. "Your Daddy has a nice voice, little nugget," you whispered, pressing one gentle palm to your belly.

It was 8:30, and you didn't have too much planned for the day other than breakfast at Waffle House with Cat. You had to give another presentation tomorrow, and you were excited to talk to some more superior officers afterwards. You were also supposed to make it to a cocktail hour this evening, but you were planning on ditching it and hoping Cat could network for both of you. It would be nearly impossible to avoid drinking without drawing attention to yourself when there were waiters walking around with flutes of champagne.

You took a quick shower and got yourself ready, and you tapped on Cat's door. When she opened it, she eyed you skeptically. "You look so much better today. Everything okay?"

"I think it was just the jetlag," you told her smoothly. "Wanna go to Waffle House?"

"Hell yes," she replied, turning to grab her bag. "Hopefully we don't run into my ex or anyone I used to work with."

In all your morning sickness and preparation back in San Diego, you had forgotten that Cat also had roots in Maryland. "If we run into Mike, point him out to me. I'll punch him in the face."

She laughed. "I would personally love to see that."

You drove the rental car through the familiar town to the diner you'd been to many times with Cam when you were at the Naval Academy together. You snapped a picture to send to him before walking inside. Sure enough, the floors were sticky, but it smelled like strong coffee, and your stomach started growling. You silently prayed that whatever you ate managed to stay down, at least until you were alone again.

"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Cat asked you as you glanced at the menu, a little disappointed that they didn't have avocado toast.

"I thought maybe I would take a nap at some point."

"Oh, that's actually a great idea. I might do that as well. I never get a full night of sleep when I'm home with Jeremiah."

You ordered a stack of pancakes and some bacon and then listened to Cat order the signature waffle. When the waitress wandered away, you asked, "Is Jake watching him this week?" with a little smirk. You already knew he was. Well, him and Hondo both were.

She played with the container of sugar and didn't meet your eyes as she said, "I think this week will make or break my relationship with Jake."

"Why?" you gasped.

She was quiet for a moment as she glanced out the window. "He practically begged me to let him help watch Jeremiah. So he and Uncle Bernie are sharing duties. I just... know how my uncle feels about Jake. They clash, and none of it is really Jake's fault. I just need to make some decisions when we get back."

Your stomach lurched. "What kind of decisions?"

She shrugged and poked her silverware. "If they can't get along, then I'll have to decide if I can reasonably keep putting everyone through this. I'll likely never be able to afford my own place, and Bernie is the only family I still talk to. But Jake...." She had a dreamy look in her eyes as she said, "I wasn't expecting to ever fall in love again."

The only thing you could think to say was, "He loves Jeremiah."

She didn't humor you with a response. Instead she asked, "Are you planning on seeing your parents while we're here?"

"Yeah," you answered as the food arrived. "About that... you mind if I use the car on Thursday evening? You're more than welcome to join me, but they want me to have dinner with them at home."

"You can use the car all you want," she replied. "And I'll think about it. Thanks." As you were coating your food in syrup, she asked, "Weren't Bradley's parents from Maryland as well?"

"Virginia," you replied immediately. "They were both from the Norfolk area. Nick grew up closer to the beach, and Carole grew up in the city." As you took a bite of pancake, your stomach growled awkwardly, but a warm thought lit up in your mind. "Hey, so you wouldn't mind too much if I actually used the car today?"

--------------------------

Bradley was in the air all day on Tuesday, and he kept looking at his little collection of photos longingly. He had one of you from when the two of you were dating. You were mid laugh, face lit up, looking right at him. And then he had a wedding photo as well. It was the one the photographer took where the sun was just hitting the horizon behind you. And now he also had a little stack of ultrasound pictures to look at.

When his comms crackled to life, he tucked the photos away and got himself in position for some tactical dog fighting with Nat and Bob. Bradley loved flying, but more and more he had been considering what might come next for him. One day he could get injured or fail an eye exam. Then what? Other than being home with you and the nugget at that point, he didn't know what else the Navy could offer him.

"Tally, tally!" Bob called out, and Bradley easily dodged the attack. He knew he was good. He knew he was the right mix of cautious and impulsive. He had to be. But there also needed to be more, because if this week was teaching him anything, it was that too many long deployments away from his family would be unbearable.

When he finally touched down on the runway at 2:30, he was hungry and thirsty, and Maverick dismissed him to the rec room along with Nat and Bob. When he checked his phone, he had a bunch of missed calls and texts from you.

"Hey, you go ahead," he told them. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Alright," Bob replied, and Bradley watched them walk inside the tower while he read your most recent message.

Baby Girl Bradshaw: I have a little surprise for you. Any chance you can facetime?

He had no idea what you could have in mind for him. A little surprise could be anything. Shit, it could be dirty. He glanced around before tucking himself up against the side of the building with his aviators perched on his nose. He dropped his helmet gently to the ground and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair as he called you.

"Bradley!"

Your gorgeous face filled his phone screen, and he smiled immediately. "Hey, Sweetheart. You look pretty."

"Thank you. I feel good today."

"How's the nugget?"

You laughed. "As finicky as ever."

You were obviously outside somewhere, and the sky was cloudy behind you as you walked past some trees. "Where are you? And what's my surprise?"

You bit your lip and looked between the phone screen and something else before you knelt down on the ground. "I just had this silly idea earlier when I was eating breakfast." You tilted the phone away from your face, and then Bradley knew exactly where you were. "But I thought we could tell them the news together? Let them be the first to know?"

He pulled his sunglasses from his face and stared at his phone screen as tears blurred his vision. "Baby Girl," he gasped as he looked at his parents' gravesite. Both headstones were decorated with fresh flowers which you must have just placed there today, and you had tucked an ultrasound photo underneath a few pebbles as well.

"Do you want to tell them?" you asked, your voice just the softest whisper that made him ache even more.

"Yeah," he managed to say as he fought to keep his composure as a tear slid down his cheek. "Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. That's not just my perfect wife sitting there with you. That's your grandchild, too."

He could hear you laughing and crying at the same time as you rearranged the pebbles. "Still just a nugget right now, but we'll bring him or her back again someday. Right, Roo?" you asked, turning the phone back to your gorgeous face.

Bradley nodded as he sobbed. "Yeah," he rasped as you smiled at him and swiped at your own tears. "Of course. The three of us will come back together. We can have a picnic. Let the kiddo meet Grandma Carole and Grampy Goose."

"That sounds perfect."

"Hey, Sweetheart?" he managed as he cried. "I fucking love you so much. You know that, right?"

Your voice was still soft, and Bradley wanted to melt into it. "Yeah. I know."

He wiped his cheeks with the rough sleeve of his flight suit as he asked, "You really drove three and a half hours from Annapolis to the cemetery?"

You curled up on your side next to the ultrasound photo as you said, "Yeah. It seemed like a no-brainer. I thought they should be the first ones to know."

"Fuck." He had to fight for composure. "I would marry you a hundred times. A thousand times. I would marry you a million fucking times, Sweetheart."

You laughed softly. "I'd let you."

Those were some of the sweetest words Bradley had ever heard in his life, and you said them as you and the baby were curled up there with the memory of his mom and dad. He would literally never get over how perfect you really were.

Then you popped up and groaned, "Oh no." And Bradley was treated to the vivid facetime experience of watching you run a few feet to your left before you threw up in the shrubs.

"Take some deep breaths," he coaxed, just like he would if you were in the bathroom at home. "Do you have some water and the ginger candy with you?"

"In the rental car," you told him as you set your phone on the ground. "I was doing so well today, too."

He didn't want to say it, but he knew this meant the baby was nice and healthy. "Why don't you curl up with Carole again, Baby Girl. She told me she threw up non-stop when she was pregnant. I'm sure she can commiserate."

"Actually, I think I will," you told him when you picked up the phone once again. "I'm going to hang out with my in-laws a little longer. Have a chat about how much I adore their son. Maybe get their opinion on some baby names."

He laughed. "Don't let them talk you into Bradley Junior."

You shook your head adamantly. "I'd sooner allow you to name the nugget Bronco."

"Hell yes!" he cheered. "Bronco Bradshaw is still on the table."

You cradled your forehead in your hand, but you were smiling. "Get back to work while the nugget and I spend some time with your mom and dad."

"I love you more than life itself, Baby Girl."

----------------------------

She treats him so well. Fuck, this even made me tear up a little bit. Grandma Carole and Grampy Goose would have been the best. Next we will find out what kind of trouble awaits in Maryland. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 33

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astroboots · 9 months

Text

EVERY YOU EVERY ME #14

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: You try to move on after the Universe has been saved.

Word count: 4,700

Warning: Angst

Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist

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You're standing in the middle of your old apartment.

The same apartment that had a helicopter crash into it and left nothing but rubble, ash and melted cement in its wake. Except now it's restored, like nothing ever happened.

Your rickety dining table sits in the middle of the room, propped up by a hardcover book to make up for the fact that one leg is crooked. Your tiny double bed with your lumpy mattress is pushed up against the wall. The usual piles of clean and dirty laundry indiscriminately mixed together sits unattended on top of the unmade covers.

You don't understand.

Why is it all back to normal?

You shake your head, snapping yourself out of it.

Miguel… You need to get back to him and you don't have time for this right now.

"Lyla," you summon. A warm ping vibrates against your inner wrist as Lyla appears. "Take me back to the void."

Lyla shakes her head firmly. "I'm sorry I can't do that."

"What do you mean? Of course you can, you've brought us there twice. You did it when Miguel commanded you."

She peers up at you through her pink heart-shaped glasses, with a solemn look in her holographic eyes.

"The first time was a miscalculation. The second was to eliminate the continued threat to your life."

Her words stop you cold. 'Continued threat...' Is she referring to Miguel?

"Lyla, please. Stop messing around. Take me back to Miguel."

Lyla's eyes go blank, no longer the flippant expression you are so used to seeing.

"Request denied. My programming does not allow me to expose you to danger."

"He's going to die if we don't do something Lyla!" You shout at her.

There is a tremor in your hand. Your nerves are shot, exhausted and tired from everything that has happened in the last 24 hours and you can feel the tears pushing up against your throat.

"Isn't it part of your protocol to protect him?!"

"I was built to protect you. My primary directive is to make sure you're safe above all else. That is my purpose."

She recites the words as if she's reading from a manual. It's flat and emotionless in a way you've never known Lyla to be before. Like the line is hardwired into the very core of her basic coding. There are no funny jokes. No sass.

"Lyla, please," you beg.

She doesn't answer you. That same impassive expression as before is still on her face.

"Lyla..." you try again.

You scramble to think of your options. To devise a plan B. But to your horror, you can’t think of anything.

What are you meant to do? You’re not a super genius who can build source code out of thin air that can break the laws of physics. You have no superpowers. No magic that allows you to travel to other dimensions.

The only thing you know how to do is file claim insurance applications. You’re useless.

There's nothing to be done.

It's over.

Your legs give in from the oppressive weight of your realization. You slump to the floor, unable to hold yourself together as the hard wooden floor hits your knees. You fold in two, hunched over the floor and you let the ache inside your chest break and pour over and you cry.

When you come to some time later, you find yourself curled up on the floor. You don't know how long you must've been crying for. But it must’ve been long enough for you to have cried yourself to exhaustion and slipped into unconsciousness.

Turning onto your back, you stare up at the ceiling, shivering from the cold breeze of the evening coming through the window.

Your limbs are cramping from exhaustion. You're dehydrated. Mouth dry and eyes crusted with dried tears. There's a deep-seated headache burrowing into your skull. It's a struggle for you to get up from the floor into a seated position, as you properly take in your surroundings.

At first glance, this version of your apartment looks identical to yours, but on closer inspection there are some stark differences.

By the window, there are black out curtains hanging from the ceiling to allow for sleep-ins during daylight hours.

On your bed, amongst the mountain piles of laundry strewn haphazardly, there are items you don’t recognize. Oversized hoodies that are big enough to fit a bear. Male sweatpants. Socks so big they look like they're Christmas stockings.

Walking over to the kitchen area, there's a distinct lack of coffee. It's been replaced by expired Reese's Peanut Butter cups, milk duds, and Hershey bars that fill every corner of your kitchen cupboards to the brim, stuffed haphazardly on the upper shelves that you could never reach. They have even made their way into your nightstand and stuffed and hidden between books on the bookshelf.

Lyla doesn't even have to tell you where you are. You already know.

This is your home. In your other self's dimension. It belongs to Miguel's nena.

Miguel sent you here, the closest universe he knew of that was identical to yours, so that you could live out your days in safety, without him.

Fucking idiot.

This is not what you wanted.

Days pass.

It's an odd and empty existence, you've beaten the impossible odds and won against the universe itself and made it out alive. Yet you're not sure that anything about this truly qualifies as a victory.

For all you know, the world that is your home may have been destroyed.

After all that's what Stark said: there is no guarantee that just because you left, everything would go back to normal.

And who are you to argue with the (second) smartest man on earth?

There's no way of you knowing what the outcome was, and Lyla refuses to transport you out of this current dimension.

You spend most of your days curled into a ball in bed unable to summon the strength to keep yourself upright or awake for more than an hour at a time, haunted by the knowledge that your escape from your death might have doomed trillions to theirs.

In the hours in between, when that inescapable guilt doesn't eat into your mind, the only thing you are left with is replaying the moments of your life in the past three months.

It flits through your closed eyes like an old film reel and in every one of those moments, Miguel is there, reminding you of what you have now lost.

You feel hollowed out, scraped out and empty like there's nothing inside. The only time you manage to feel anything that resembles an emotion is when you clutch onto whatever piece of oversized clothing that once belonged to Miguel. The only physical trace you have to prove to yourself that he existed and it's not just some fantastical made up story in your mind.

Miguel once told you that anyone who gets lost in the void gets erased. Their very existence scrubbed from the records of the world. Does the fact that you can still remember him mean that he's still there? And if so, how much longer will you be able to mourn him before he's faded entirely in that space. Before your very memory of him and the love you have that sits inside you with nowhere to go is gone too?

Nothing about this feels like a happy ending.

In the first few days, you don't leave the house. You tell yourself that it's better that way. Now that Miguel is no longer here, the idea of walking out in into open streets in broad daylight seems strange to you.

Lyla tries to tempt you with exotic holidays.

“Bali, India! The world is your oyster, we can fly out first class tonight and do an Eat Pray Love for as long as you want to!” Lyla’s voice sings in your ear. "Thailand is lovely this time of the year, barely any tycoons."

Most of the time, you ignore her presence, burying your head into the pillow, pathetically hugging onto one of the oversized shirts that’s been left behind.

Everytime you hope to catch a whiff of the remnant traces of Miguel’s presence there. But there’s nothing. It just smells of stale detergent.

After surviving the end of the world, a lot of things that used to be important seems meaningless to you now.

Alive as you may be, there’s no real purpose for you carved out in this dimension. You don't go to work in the mornings, because the you of this universe died years ago. Showing up at your office at the Chrysler building would likely induce heart attacks amongst your old co-workers.

You could scour Careerbuilder for job ads, but there's a sour pit in your stomach that hugs tightly around your guts everytime you think of the prospect of having to speak to job recruiters.

You don't think you have it in you to lie to some stranger at an interview and pretend that being in front of a white screen poring over excel sheets 8 hours a day is the way you want to spend the rest of your life until you hit retirement.

Besides, rent is not an issue anymore. Nor is money when Lyla is there to take care of you and act as your digital sugar momma. A standing order for any and all bills needed to maintain this home had already been set up long before you arrived.

You feel sorry for Lyla. She's been programmed to take care of your mental and physical well being and you know she is at wit's end with your listless behavior.

She pulls out all the stops. Lyla orders take out for you, delivered right to your door to try to get you to eat. If she had a physical body, you think she would hold you down and force feed you.

But something is wrong with you, because even though every dish is your favorite, rounded up from your favorite restaurants in the city, for the first time in your life since you were born, you no longer have much of an appetite.

You usually only manage mouthfuls just to keep Lyla from constantly nagging, before you shove the take-out box back into the fridge and then crawl back into bed.

Everything tastes bland and grey. Everything around you seems to have lost its color and shine. Was the world around you always this dull?

On the fifth day, there is a familiar baby-pink box with Gladis' logo printed on the lid arriving at your doorstep.

“Surprise!” Lyla announces. “It’s your favorite! I ordered the luxury box with the elderflower lemon flavors, as well as the lychee-raspberry jello!”

You sit down by the table, staring at the beautifully adorned cupcakes in the box. Spirals of white and pink frosting with petals of edible flowers. There's freshly cut strawberries and blackberries and chocolate shavings on op.

Picking one up, you cram the whole cupcake into your mouth, trying to cling onto the memory of that first time when the flavor of lemon zest bursting on your tongue had made you squeal with happiness.

That doesn't happen.

This time, as the sugar hits the top of your mouth, all you can think about is how much you miss him. How things will never be the same without him.

How you'll never get to have him sit next to you, smiling softly as he watches you eat. That you'll never get to see him demolish a cupcake in one bite and leave frosting on his nose.

It doesn't feel the same, you just feel hollow. Wetness spills across your cheeks, and snot clogs your nose and throat. You must look like a looney, ugly crying with your mouth stuffed full of cupcake, barely swallowing.

After that Lyla doesn��t order them for you anymore.

It's morning you think, judging from the bright sun pouring in from the blinds.

Lyla is buzzing near your ear where you've taken off the watch and placed it on the pillow next to you for company.

"You need to get out of the house. You're turning into a social recluse. It's not a good look," she says, as she peers down at you over her pink-tinted glasses.

"How about I get a date for you? Have a fab night out on the town? I have a roller-dex of the top bachelors in New York. I'm happy to hack into their calendar!"

You ignore her, burying your face deeper into the pillow, hugging Miguel's worn hoodie tighter to your chest. You pull the cover over your head, but you can still hear her babble on through the thin separation of fabric.

"What's your type? Oscar Isaac? He’s hot– No, no you're right he's happily married and we don’t wanna be homewreckers here. What about Lenny Kravitz? Doesn't get cooler than Kravitz and he’s long divorced."

"Lyla stop," you groan, poking your head back up above the covers. You just want quiet. Just want to stay here cocooned in this space that is the closest you'll ever get to Miguel for as long as you can remember him, until that too is taken away from you.

"I'm fine. I don't need a date."

"You're not fine though. You've only eaten a box of cupcakes in the last week. You haven't showered and you look like a mess. Your hair is greasier than the BP oil spill off the gulf of Mexico. My purpose is to keep you safe, and that includes your mental and emotional levels, which are... " she stops, throwing up some diagnostics boxes in floating holograms, then makes a face. "Yikes."

She’s doing this on purpose. Talking incessantly, so that she can nag you into doing what she wants. Suddenly you gain newfound sympathy for Miguel. You used to think it was funny when she nagged him and got on his nerves, but now that you're on the end of it, you see how he must’ve suffered when Lyla was in one of these moods with him.

"Will you stop if I step out of the house for a walk," you offer as an olive branch, hoping for a little peace and quiet.

"How long of a walk?"

"Five."

"Minutes?!" Lyla screeches with outrage. "The general recommendation is 150 minutes of weekly exercise, I'm going to need at least an hour's walk from you boss-girl."

"Twenty minutes."

"Forty!"

"Half an hour, or I'm going back to bed and wearing earplugs."

Lyla grins. "Deal".

The streets here look the same as the ones in your dimension, down to the Bodega owned by the old Korean couple around the corner. This version of earth is identical to yours in almost every way you know of.

Except in this New York, instead of Matthew Ellis, a man named Biden who is apparently over 100 years old (give or take a few years) is president.

In this reality, Leonardo Di Caprio apparently won an Oscar, while Amy Adams still hasn't, which is nuts to you.

The Avengers also don't seem to exist here. Though Superheroes still seem prevalent. A group of misfits that refers to themselves as the Fantastic Four seems to dominate the news cycle more often than not.

Ahead of you, the street splits into two paths and you take a corner into the smaller street that you know should cut through to a dog park.

But it doesn’t. Instead of green grass fields and park benches, you end up in a small narrow dead end of a street. Somehow you're lost. Shit. You should've paid more attention.

Looking up, you turn your head left and right to try to make sense of where you could be. You’re just about to pull up google maps, when the flickering light of the one sole streetlamp illuminating this alley catches your attention.

You're 12 blocks from Chinatown, but you recognize this alley even though it shouldn't be here.

From a distance, you spot the familiar red stall. The same small rickety table. The same red cloth draped on top. The same old lady with her abnormally large shiny head, comically large sunglasses and white-blue robe. The same giant sign spelling out: Fortune teller.

Only this time, there's only one folding chair set up in front of it.

She takes one look at you, as you sit down with a look of familiarity in her milky-white eyes.

"Your bad luck is gone," she says.

You should be more surprised that the scam fortune teller from another dimension seemingly remembers the conversation you had with her other self. But it doesn't. You've learned by now that nothing is as it seems.

Random near death accidents are not just due to bad luck. A superhero that repeatedly saves you isn’t just doing it out of sheer goodwill and duty. A starmap is not just a starmap, and you’re willing to bet your life that this fortune teller is not just a fortune teller.

“Who are you?” you ask her.

“Is that of importance to you?”

“Yes.”

She takes off her sunglasses and stares directly into your eyes. Without the obstruction of dark tinted lenses, you can see that it's not glaucoma causing the whiteness in her pupils. In her eyes, there are galaxies, millions of tiny dots of glowing stars, endless and mesmerizing as you stare back into them.

"My name is Ulana. I’m a Watcher. My role is to observe the Multiverse from the Nexus of all realities.”

There’s no longer that harmless demeanor and friendly smile that makes you drop your guard. She holds herself with reverence as she speaks, with the aura of the divine.

“Does that mean you are able to observe every reality in this moment?” you ask.

“Yes.”

The image of your New York with its pink cracked sky and the chaos you left it in crowds your vision.

"Can you tell me what happened to my old world after I left? Is it still there?"

"Your old home is intact and safe."

You let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you had been holding all this time.

Thank god.

Relieved tears spill from your cheeks. Somehow you haven't single-handedly caused the destruction and death of whole worlds and countless lives.

Even if you can never go back there, that place will always be your home, and your chest warms at the thought that even without you it will always still be there.

You take a moment to gather yourself, to wipe the errant tears that are welling up with the back of your hand.

Then you take a deep calming breath before you ask her the question that has been plaguing your mind since you arrived in this reality.

"Is Miguel still alive in the void?" you ask her.

"Your husband is still alive. But he doesn't have much time left. He's fading."

Your fingers curl into fists on top of your knees, "How do I save him?"

"I couldn't tell you.” She shakes her head sadly. "My kind is not allowed to intervene. We are only meant to observe the ongoings of the universes. I've already meddled too much.”

Ducking down, she reaches under her desk, sorting through the pile of junk paper, before she leans back up over the table.

"This is the only help I can give you," she says, reaching over to place something into your hands.

You look down to see a familiar bright yellow Star Map.

"He'll be home this time," she tells you.

You're standing on the doorsteps of the old brownstone on 177A Bleecker Street, staring up at the old ornate wooden front doors.

Unlike last time you were here, there's no hesitation in you anymore. It doesn't matter that you've come alone with no other superhero to validate your mad and fantastical story about the Cosmos that was out to kill you.

You don't care if Strange thinks you're a random crazy from the streets.

If he doesn't believe you, then you'll make him believe you. If he tries to have you hauled out, you'll kick and drag and scream at the top of your lungs, and chain yourself to his front door if that's what it takes.

You bring your hand to the door knocker and tap it three times. Then you wait.

Nothing.

Didn't the fortune teller say he was going to be home this time?

Goddamnit, was she a scam after all? What kind of name is Ulana for a celestial being anyhow? Did you end up wasting another ten dollars?

You grit your teeth and step forward again, grabbing the door knocker to pound it down against the front door, even harder this time and you don’t stop at one or two, you keep slamming it down fervently.

Mid-knock, the door creaks, swinging open, as an exasperated voice greets you.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm coming. There's no need to knock that aggressively, I'm not going to come to the door any fast–"

He stops mid-sentence as he looks at you. For a man you've never met, Dr. Strange's eyes go wide at the sight of you standing on his doorsteps. His eyes are filled with the disbelief of a man who's seen a ghost.

"You're alive," he says.

“Sit down and make yourself comfortable,” Strange says as he hurriedly pulls out a chair by the old oak table in his dining room.

“I’ll make us some tea,” he says.

He waves his cape with a dramatic flare in the empty space, and from a distance you hear a small click, before you realize that he must’ve used magic to put on the kettle.

For someone that’s supposed to be a sorcerer, you don’t know why the hell he bothers having a kettle. Seems a bit redundant, couldn’t he just use magic to instantly heat water?

You sit down as instructed, hands folded in your lap as you try not to fidget.

There’s a prolonged and uncomfortable silence as you both wait for the water to boil.

Strange opens then closes his mouth, as if he’s unsure of who should speak first. In the end though, he doesn’t say anything at all, he just drums his fingers impatiently on the wooden surface as he smiles politely but awkwardly at you. Across the room, the water starts simmering to a boil.

This wasn’t what you had expected. You had counted on him to try to kick you out and you having to make a passionate plea for him to listen to you. Instead he’d opened the door and insisted on inviting you in and now the two of you are drowning in a sea of uncomfortable silence.

There’s a tinny whistle from the kettle, and Strange darts up from the chair, as if the interruption was a godsend. He rushes over to pick it up, before walking back to the table with it at a much slower pace.

Then he stands next to you, tilting the snout of the kettle into your small tea cup.

Strange stares intently at your face as he pours the boiling water into the cup. So focused on you that he doesn't pay any attention to the level of the hot water, until it spills over the rim and onto the table surface below. Then he seemingly snaps himself out of it.

"Shit! Sorry," Strange begins. He wipes up the spillage with his robe, even though there are perfectly good paper towels behind him, even though he could’ve just used magic to make it vanish in the blink of an eye.

"You look exactly like her," he says, then he stops himself.

Strange considers the statement and does a curt little nod at himself as if berating himself for how stupid that comment sounded. "Which of course you do. You are her, just… from another dimension."

From your time with Miguel, you’ve been able to glean from his childish rants about the man’s “ugly” and “useless” and “impractical” cape that there’s a hostility there towards Strange that goes beyond just Miguel being Miguel.

Judging from the guilt in this man’s eyes as he looks at you from across the table, you can guess that there is a complicated history between Strange and Miguel and you.

“Did you know me?” you ask.

“Yeah, we were friends. Good friends,” Strange corrects himself. Then a sadness seeps into his eyes as he stops wiping the table and pulls back his robe close to his body. “Although I supposed I wasn’t a great friend to you near the end of things.”

He places the cup down on the table in front of you, the rising steam wafts through the air, smelling of mint and honey as he drags out the chair and sits himself next to you.

"Why don't you tell me everything from the start," Strange asks you.

So you do. You tell him of that first day when you fell out of the Chrysler building and was saved by Miguel. Tell him about how Miguel saved you again and again and how you tried to trap him with cookies and how you fell out of the Chrysler building a second time on purpose, which makes Strange laugh that sounds fond and warm.

You tell him of the void, the fortune teller, the Avengers and everything in between, and how despite surviving all of that Miguel had exiled himself to the void and sent you here by yourself, with each event you tell him his eyes grow sadder.

When you're done, Strange nods solemnly. He picks up his cup and takes a small sip of his tea to buy himself time to gather his thoughts. Then he finally speaks again. "What can I do to help?"

"Miguel is still in the void. I need your help to send me there so I can get him back."

Strange frowns, then goes entirely quiet as he stares out of the window in deliberation. It takes several moments before he speaks again.

"The void is a dangerous place, stay too long and you will be erased from existence. If you go in you may not be able to find your way out and I wouldn’t be able to help you from here."

“That’s fine, I just need your help to get there” you say.

He sets down his cup as he continues. "I can’t in good conscience send you back out there. I've already broken my promise to keep you safe once."

Frustration brims in your chest. As flattered as you are over Strange’s concern over your safety, you bristle at the fact that there seems to be none extended to Miguel’s. Every second you spend here is another second wasted.

“Miguel is there. If I don’t save him, he’s going to be erased from existence.”

That doesn’t seem to move the doctor in the slightest.

“For Miguel, his own life is a small price to pay in exchange for yours. He’d sacrifice the whole world for you to live.”

“That’s not a choice for him to make.”

Strange scratches his thumb over his bearded jaw, as if he's trying to figure out how to solve a puzzle, before speaking again.

"Right now with Miguel gone, the volatile cosmic energy surrounding you is stabilized. The version of you in this universe died and is viewing your presence as an equivalent exchange. You could stay here. You'd be safe. Miguel would've known that. That's probably why he sent you here.”

"I don't want to stay here if Miguel isn't here," you counter.

Leaning back in his chair, Strange up at the ceiling in deep thought.

"It's risky, if I sent you there, you may not even be able to find him. He might not even have his physical shape anymore, he’s been there too long by now."

His head ducks back down as he looks at your face, observing you for long moments.

You don't know what it is he sees, but a small amused smile quirks at his lip as he shakes his head again.

"But... I think you already know the risks and nothing I can say will dissuade you will it?" he says.

You nod.

It's not that you've stopped being scared of the void. It's not that the very thought of it doesn't fill your stomach with a cold dread. It's that Miguel is there, and there is no risk you're not willing to take to have the chance to see him again.

You square your chest and confidence swells inside you with your answer.

"Send me there."

~ Next Issue

Credit and Dedication: We're almost there guys! Next issue is going to be the final one. Thanks to everyone who has been with me on this ride! I cannot wait to share the final conclusion with you all.

Special thank you (as always) go out to my bestie: @thirstworldproblemss who is a big reason this story even lifted off the ground in the first place.

Big BIG BIGGEST thanks to my muse @guruan who has gifted me with so much inspiration be it thirsty twitter art of our favorite rude spider or her own insanely gorgeous art. Have you seen this heartbreaking beauty?!

I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fi #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderverse #oscar isaac #across the spiderverse fanfiction #across the spiderverse #marvel mcu #marvel #miguel ohara fic #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #spiderverse fanfiction

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justmeinadaze · 27 days

Text

Secret Underneath Part 3 (Steddie X Plus Size Reader)

A/N: A lot of this came from the rough week I had and desperately needing Daddy <3

Warnings: Warnings: Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, toys (triple stimulation ;) ), dirty talk, nothing too rough just passionate. ANGST, reader has a bad day and needs help feeling better, mentions of her ex (brief mentions of him hurting her and being verbally abusive during their relationship; comments on her weight but its brief), boys mention their fathers as well as touching on their own ex.

Word Count: 5367

You were having a terrible fucking day.

One of the other teachers you weren’t fond of danced all over your last nerve as if it was her mission. You forgot your lunch because you had rushed out of your apartment late due to not hearing your alarm because you tossed and turned all night. Your AC broke around midnight and by 2am you were covered in sweat. Every time you called your landlord, you were either placed on hold or the line disconnected.

All you wanted to do when you got home was curl up in bed but as soon as you walked through the door you were immediately met with blistering heat.

Usually you could handle all this, all be it with a bit more snark than normal but you didn’t want to. All of your energy was drained and the only thing your mind could muster was the need to throw things against the wall like a toddler.

Daddy.

You debated on calling them. So far the guys had just given you money willingly after every meeting but you had yet to ask them for anything. Oddly with them, you didn’t want them to feel used. Maybe because of what they told you about previous relationships doing just that or maybe it was because you genuinely enjoyed their company.

Finally giving in to your brain, you reached for your phone and dialed the number they give you.

“Hey, honey.”, Steve practically sings as his voice floats through. “How was your day? I was just about to call you.”

“D-D-Daddy…”, you cry, unable to stop the tears as they flow.

“What’s wrong, baby?”, he asked, his tone changing to that authoritative one that made you feel safe. You told him what happened and how your day had progressively got worse. You could hear him moving around on the other line before the sound of a ding from an elevator caught your attention.

“Are y-you at work? Fuck, I’m so sorry—”

“No, hey, don’t be sorry. I was going to leave early anyway. I just got ahold of Eddie and he’s going to meet me at your place. Do you feel comfortable sending us your address?” His heart breaks as he listens to you cry harder, his protective, dominate side now fully in the driver’s seat. “Baby girl, everything’s ok. I promise we’re going to get everything taken care of.”

After texting him your address, you wait by the open window as you fan your face and as soon as you hear the knock you run to let them in. The rockstar doesn’t even hesitate as he takes you in his arms.

“Jesus, sweetheart, you are covered in sweat. Are you okay?” Your gaze kept shifting between him and the mogul as his fingers rapidly moved against the screen on his phone. “Hey, look at me, Y/N. How are you feeling? You’re not dizzy or dehydrated right?”

“No, Daddy. I’m sorry if I bothered you both. I didn’t know who else to call and I’m so exhausted—”

“Baby. Baby, breathe. It’s ok. Don’t ever be afraid to call us or ask for help, alright?”

Someone new knocks on your door, startling you but not them as Steve heads that way.

“Ed, why don’t you get a bath going for her? Nothing too hot though.”

“Yes, sir.”, he salutes making you smile. “Boy talkin’ to me like he’s my Daddy. Come on, pretty girl, let’s let Stevie do his thing.”

***

In the middle of your bath, the AC abruptly clicked on and you sighed in relief. By the time Eddie had you in a long, oversized shirt and brushing your hair, you were completely at ease.

“Ok, honey, I hired some of the best people to come fix your unit so it won’t break again for a long while. I also called your landlord and threatened to sue him into oblivion…so your next couple of months are free.”, Steve grins as a he takes a seat on the edge of the bed in front of you. “At some point, doesn’t have to be now or even this month, I would like to talk with you about getting you a new place. You shouldn’t have to argue before someone fucking comes to fix your necessities. I mean YOU pay THEM—”

“Steven, you’re doing that thing again.”, the metalhead chuckles as he places the brush on your nightstand.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Y/N. I just hate the idea of you struggling. You deserve all the good things.”

“Speaking of good things, what would you like to eat, babe? Harrington here said you had forgotten your lunch today. We want to make sure you’re fed and full.”

Your head hung as you silently stared into the mattress.

“Y/N, sweetie.”, Steve coos as he lifts your chin. “It’s ok that you called. You weren’t bothering us and we’re happy to help.”

“I know you said people in the past used you for your money. I don’t want you to think that’s all I want. I DO like you.”

Eddie lightly tugs your hair, tilting your head back so he could kiss your lips.

“We like you to.”

“This apartment really isn’t that bad, you know.”

“Baby, I just gave you a bath in that closet you call a bathroom and that’s coming from a man who grew up in a trailer.”

“I didn’t know that.”

As you lean back into his bare chest, a pleasant sigh leaves his lips and you rest your forehead on his cheek.

“I don’t talk about that side of my life. I mean of course people find out but…”

“We grew up in a small town so people gossip.”

“That’s how you two met? Growing up?”

Both men grow silent and you promptly hang your head before crawling out of Eddie’s embrace to head for the kitchen. They follow and as soon as they enter the room, you throw a menu onto the counter.

“I like their pizza and beer special. Don’t worry, Steve, we can get you like a Voss water or something.”, you grin as he tilts his head and you stick out your tongue.

“I feel challenged. Why do you think I can’t keep up with you and rockstar here?”

“I think you just answered your own question.”, Eddie joked as he leaned over the counter to look over the food options with you.

***

“Ok…3, 2, 1, GO!”

As soon as the metalhead gives the go ahead, you and Steve puncture the beer can with a knife and hastily chug back it’s contents. You were the first to finish, throwing your hands in the air as the other man trails behind.

“Jesus, I’m rusty.”

“Yeah, sure pretty boy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”, you sass as you lean forward to grab another slice of pizza.

“So this is like your go to stress reliever? Sitting on the floor eating cheap pizza and beer while listening to crap music?”

“First off, rude. My music isn’t crap. Secondly, yeah. During the colder months I’ll put up Christmas lights and just lay here watching the snow fall. I love this city. It’s so beautiful.”

“Were you born here?”

“No, I’m from the south. I moved here because my boyfriend got a job and I wanted to be near him. Obviously, that didn’t end well.”, you chuckle as you take a sip of your drink.

“The asshole that hurt you?”, Eddie growls, his own protective nature slowly creeping in when you nod. “Was he always like that?”

“Verbally he could be a dick but he never got physical like that before. After we moved here it just got progressively worse. He’d say things under his breath or give me back handed compliments. Fucker could dish it out but never take it.

‘You know for how much weight you’ve gained, that dress actually looks pretty good on you.’

‘Aw, gee, thanks. You know, not many men can pull of jeans that tight but with a penis as small as yours I guess you don’t have to worry.’”

Both men laughed making you smile before it tapers off and they glance towards each other.

“My father was a fucker to. He got in trouble with the law a lot and ended up in prison back home in Indiana. I grew up with my uncle in that trailer I mentioned.”

“What about your mom?”

Eddie sighed as he propped himself up on his elbow.

“She died when I was really little. She, um, she was a good woman.”

Nodding, you decide not to pry further as you lean back against Steve’s stomach who was also on his side on his elbow.

“MY dad could verbally be a dick like your ex. He made comments like that all the time especially when I was in high school. I was surprised he let me take over his company. My mother isn’t a bad person, she just…I don’t know…her priorities are all out of whack.”

“I’m so sorry you guys experienced that. I actually get along with my parents and I hate being so far away from them.”

“Why didn’t you move back after you two broke up?”, the metalhead asked.

“My job. I love teaching here and I love those kids. They are all so smart and sassy, I love it.”, you giggle.

Your eyes shift towards the window as you pleasantly exhale, closing your eyes as Steve’s fingers absently began playing with your hair.

“When did you two decide to do this whole Daddy/Baby thing?”

“We’ve always enjoyed everything that comes along with being a Daddy and not just sexually. Perfect example, seeing your face light up when I told you I took care of everything with the apartment. I like seeing you happy.”

“I mean the same applies in bed to.”, Eddie chuckles. “We like seeing you unravel and tremble because of us. Why did you decide to do this?”

“I’ve always preferred more dominate men who could take control. I didn’t realize they would be so hard to find.”, you smile. “Maybe I was looking in the wrong age bracket. I needed two OLD MEN.”, you tease as the rockstar bites his lip across from you to stifle a laugh. “I’ve never cared about the money aspect that comes along with it.”

As they nod, you take both men in as they continue to relax. Because of the heat Eddie had removed his shirt so you could see how low his jeans really were as his blue boxers peaked out above the waistband. His hair was perfectly fluffed out, just barely resting on the top part of his smooth back. Any time you tried to run your fingers through it, he always made a joke about how tangled it was but you didn’t care especially when his eyes would close and he would hum lightly in pleasure when you did.

Steve had showed up in his suit and you had yet to see him in anything else but at least in this moment he seemed relaxed. The first time you were with them, he appeared agitated which Eddie had explained it was because the mogul didn’t want you to feel used after your ordeal. The couple of times after, he constantly displayed an air of confidence which wasn’t abnormal with Daddies you met but in this moment when he put that wall down…he was adorable. Even his hair relaxed as the product began to fade, allowing it to move every which way.

“You both are handsome.”

They had been in the middle of conversation you didn’t realize they were having until you blurted your statement making them pause as they turned to grin your way.

“Thank you.”, Eddie laughed, air hissing through his teeth. “I think it’s time to take away the booze, Stevie.”

“Pfft I’m not that drunk.”, you giggle. “Trust me, you’ll know when I am. I can be mean.” Both men chuckle and make mocking facial expressions as you playfully glare. “I know you don’t want to tell me what happened with your last Baby but… she’s a fucking idiot for not keeping you two around.”

You don’t see but their features falter for a moment before Steve finally collects himself.

“You’re technically our first Baby.” Your eyes widen in shock and amusement as he nods before popping open another can of beer. “I know. Plot twist, huh?”

“Obviously we talked to other ones on that site but you were the only one that intrigued us and the first we’ve ever met with. Like Harrington said, we like the aspects of being a Daddy which includes taking care of the girl we care about. Individually and together…it just got exhausting after a while jumping from one date to the next trying to figure out their motives. At least this way…there’s some order to it. Another reason we like you is because you ARE up front.”

“So… your last girlfriend must have really hurt you then…if you decided to give up that scene to this.” They glance your way at your comment as a sad sounding sigh escapes you and you pull your knees under your chin. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, can we ask for one more favor?”, Steve asks in a serious tone that makes you face him.

“Yeah, Daddy, of course.”

“Have you googled us yet? Or did any kind of snooping?” Both men exhale in relief when you say no. “You wouldn’t lie to us right, baby girl?”

“No, I wouldn’t lie. I wanted to but you wanted privacy. I respect that. Plus, I’d rather you tell me things than for me to read it.”

“Good…good girl.” Eddie praises as you blush. “Can we keep it that way?”

“Yes, Daddy, I promise.”

“What’s going on over there, pretty girl? Why are you all shy all of the sudden?”, he teases eliciting a small squeal as you duck your head into your arms.

“I’m just glad you two came over. I really needed this.”

“Yeah, honey? Is there anything else we can do for you?”

“Actually…”, you sing. “I got a new toy the other day. Would you like to see it?” After they nod, both men watch you rise to your feet and excitedly run towards your bedroom. When you return, you hastily open the box it came in and produce a pink vibrator for them to see. “I figured since I have two Daddies now I can use this if you both are away. This part is like the normal vibrators you see everywhere but this end here goes into my behind and this little part up here plays with my clit.”

“Have you tried it out yet?”

“No, Daddy.”, you answer Eddie’s question shaking your head.

“Well, why don’t you, baby? Give it whirl and tell us how it feels.”, Steve instructs in a husky tone that has you biting your bottom lip.

Tossing aside your comfy clothes, you sit naked before them as your eyes suddenly fleet between each man.

“May I lean against one of you?”

You can’t help but laugh when both men turn to each other and without any hesitation or prior conversation begin to play rock, paper, scissors. The metalhead wins, throwing his hands victoriously in the air as his friend rolls his eyes before lifting his body and crawling towards you to place himself behind you. Melting into his touch, you lean your head back onto his shoulder and kiss his cheek as he tilts down to kiss your neck.

His beautiful large hands softly run up the back of your thighs and hooks them behind your knees making you giggle like a little kid as he pries your legs open. They watch with eager eyes as you squeeze a small amount of lube into your palm and your breath hitches slightly as you lather it between your cheeks.

Eddie army crawls forward till he’s a few inches in front of your cunt, sighing as he lays his head on his forearm.

“Fuck, you smell so good.”

Smirking, you glance down to make sure the toy is positioned properly before focusing as you insert all the pieces in their respective places. Your body tenses a bit as you lean your head back and close your eyes.

“Everything ok, honey?”, Steve whispers.

“Y-Yeah. Fuck… just feels a bit…different.”

“For something about the size of a regular vibrator, it really blocks my view.”, the rockstar whines making you pout. “No, shit, hey. I didn’t mean that as a bad thing.” Quickly pushing up onto his palms, his fingers grip your chin, and tilt you so he can kiss your lips. “As long as I can see your face and hear those pretty sounds coming out of your mouth that’s all I care about.”

As he starts to pull away from you to lay back down, your free hand shoots out to grab his shoulder.

“Wait…Can you…stay this close to me to. Please, Daddy.”

A shaky breath escapes Eddie at your needy tone before hastily collecting himself and clearing his throat as he tilts back to sit his heels.

“Yeah, baby, yeah. Of course, I can do that for you.”

After pressing the little button, the toy comes to life and your groan instantly hits their ears.

“Jesus.”

“How does it feel, pretty girl?”

You barely register Steve’s question as your body lights up with every kind of sensation, your mouth falling open as a soft uh falls through.

“He asked you something, sweetheart.”

“F-Feels…feels…good.”

“Hey. Can you open your eyes and look at me?”, Eddie asks as the other man’s lips gently peck between your shoulder and neck. “Y/N, open your eyes.”

At his firmer tone you do what he commands, mewling loudly when you notice his hand had slid down his pants so he could ease the ache of his cock pressing almost painfully against the denim.

“Good, good girl. Don’t…fuck, you’re so fucking sexy…don’t take them off me.”

Steve’s mouth grazed your ear and his low, husky whispers had you trembling against him.

“There you go, baby girl. Make yourself cum. You deserve it after the long day you had. After you make yourself cum, your Daddies are going to take care of you, honey. We’ll fuck you till that little brain goes quiet. Fuck, I can hear how wet you are. Makes me so fucking hard.”

Your eyes rolled back as the coil snapped and you pushed back against him as you came.

“No, hey, no, baby. Don’t run from it.”, Eddie lightly scolded as he grabbed the end of the toy and continued pumping inside of you at a rigorous pace.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Daddy, please.”, you begged as you pushed at his hand.

After delicately removing the toy, he tossed it out of the way, collecting you in his arms, and positioning you so you were straddling his waist.

“You have to take off your pants.”, you breathily giggle when you feel the cold metal of the button on his jeans against your puffy lips. The rockstar’s eyelids flutter as he grunts in frustration and his arm grips your body to him as he uses his free hand to sloppily push them down his thighs. “Baby, you can let me go to take them off. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Damn right you’re not. You’re ours, princess. Fuck.” As you clung to his neck hovering over his lips, his eyes remained on your face as you slowly sunk down onto his cock. “Can you say that for me? Tell me who you belong to?”

“Mmm—I belong to Daddy. Oh my…so deep.”

“I know, baby, I know. There you go, that’s it. Just ride my dick just like that.”

His palms held the meat of your behind as he guided your movements while you bounced on top of him. Eddie’s gaze never faltered as he continued to take in every little movement that twitched along your features. Every time your bodies connected; your eyebrows scrunched in pleasure. When his length would roughly hit that sensitive spot inside you; your mouth fell open as you panted against his lips.

His favorite part was when either of you moved at a faster pace, you pulled him as close to you as you could. He loved feeling your needy hands pushing against his back to bring him to your chest or when your head fell against his shoulder as your fingers ran through his tangled mess of hair.

If he could be this close to you all the time he would.

“Fuck, Y/N.”, he practically growled as he lifted you up and placed you on your back underneath him. His lips roughly kissed yours as he rolled his lower half into your own. “You feel so fucking good. I need you to cum, pretty girl. Please.”

Your eyes opened at the word as his closed in focus, that little crease in his forehead as he thrust at a quicker pace had you swooning as you reached up to cup his cheek. A small smirk flickered across his mouth as he did the same; his thumb absently caressing your cheek.

“Just like that, Daddy. I’m gonna cum. W-Will you cum with me?”

After nodding, the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room till it was replaced with your whimpers and his grunts as the coil snapped and you both came.

Steve had been patiently waiting as he watched you both together, stroking his cock as your beautiful moans filled his ears. He desperately needed you but he knew how to wait; you’d be his soon enough.

After removing all of his clothes, he tossed them to the side, wanting to feel every part of your skin against him this time. As Eddie backed away, the mogul beamed down at you as he took his place.

“Are you ok, honey?”

He chuckled softly at your lopsided grin as you reached up for him to bring his lips to yours.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I want you.”

“I like hearing you say that. Can you say it again?”

“I want you, Daddy. I need you.”

Falling onto his side next to you, he guided you to do the same with your chest against his and one of his arms under your head.

“I just want to be really close to you, Y/N.”, he murmured as his large palm slid down your spine, over your ass, and along your thigh as he lifted it over his hip. Steve only released you long enough to guide his cock inside of you before placing it against your back near the base of your neck. “Fuck, baby, still so wet. Did Daddy make you feel good?”

“So good—mmm—I’ve never…”

“Never what? Tell me.”, he instructions as he continues doing little but deep thrusts into your core.

“No one’s ever fucked me like this…at this angle…”

He can’t help but lightly laugh making you sigh as you smile and lean your forehead onto his.

“We told you, baby girl. You’re with men now. We know how to take care of a beautiful woman like you.”

As he finds a steady, firm rhythm, you feel like you’re going to melt into a million tiny pieces as he stretched you open. Steve’s palm continued to roam your skin as his other remains firmly positioned behind your head, keeping your face as close to his as possible feeling your pussy clench every time he moans into your mouth.

“That’s it—fuck—just hold on to me, Y/N. Don’t let go.”

“Never.”

You didn’t even realize you said it but they both heard as it fell from your lips. Feeling his pace falter, he pounds into you hard and fast trying to get you over the edge before he cums. Tears streak your face as you tremble against him and while your cunt quivers around his cock he warms your insides as he spills inside of you.

“Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck…”, Steve pants as he lifts your head and pushes back the hair sticking to your face. “Are you alright?”

A wide toothy smile greets him as you tilt back and giggle.

“Yeah, baby. That was perfect.”

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you into a quick shower.”

“Nooooooo, Daddy.”, you whine making Eddie laugh as he jumps to his feet in only his boxers.

“Come on, ya big baby.”

He starts to tug on your arm like he’ll drag you if he has to causing your smile to grow as you rise to your feet and let him lead you to your bathroom. After putting on his own boxers, Steve trailed behind taking in the things around him.

Even though the majority of people had music on their phones, you had a small shelf filled with records and a record player. Along your walls were pictures of you with different people he assumed to be your family and friends. As he entered your bedroom, there was a bookshelf filled with reading material and he couldn’t help but smile when he notices a book hanging out that pertained to his business.

You were trying to learn and understand; he appreciated that.

What he didn’t like was when he placed the book back down a picture that was nestled in the back binding tumbled out.

It was you with another man’s arm wrapped around your shoulders.

Steve heard your laugh as you and his friend exited the bathroom and he held it up in your direction.

“Where did you get that?”, you asked as your face fell.

“It fell out of this book here.”

Your eyes closed as you sighed, taking the book from his hand and placing it on your dresser.

“I didn’t know it was in there.”, you mumbled.

“So you could hide it?”, Eddie asked with a tone filled of accusation. “Who the fuck is this?”

You try to control your anger as you watch the rockstar snatch it from the mogul’s hand as the other man stares at you waiting for an answer.

“My ex.”

“Yeah, that’s going to require some more explaining.”

“He let me borrow the book. Look, it’s not what you think! I asked a friend to ask him for it. I didn’t even think the asshole would put his fucking picture in there. I don’t even know why he’d do that.”

“To manipulate you and make you miss him.”, Steve growled. “Why are you taking anything from him at all?”

“Can we talk about this later, please? I’m so tired.”

“No, we can’t, Y/N. This is the second time this man is popping up suddenly and after what happened the first time I don’t like it.”

“What part? The part where I still went on a date with him or the part where he assaulted me?”

“Does it matter?!”, Eddie yelled. “Both were fucking awful. Nobody should be putting their hands on you and you are ours. We’ve made that very fucking clear!”

“And it’s crystal clear to me, Eddie. I don’t want to have anything to do with him!”, you scream, grabbing the image and tearing it up. “I try to avoid him as much I can but it’s hard! Fuck, this day sucks so much.”

“Why is it hard, Y/N?”

Folding your arms, you feel your heart start to break as you prepare for the worst.

“Because we work together! That’s how we met. We went to school together back home and when he got a job here in New York I followed him. He suggested I apply to and to my surprise I was hired to!” You shrug as you wipe the tears that began to fall. “I thought we were going to be together forever. I was a fucking idiot.”

Taking a seat on your bed, your head hangs but after a few seconds the mattress dips on either side of you as Eddie pushes your hair behind your ear so he can see your face.

“Usually, he just ignores me until he wants something…like last time… Since I started seeing you, now I ignore him and according to idle gossip it bothers him.”, you explain as you roll your eyes at the end.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”, Steve inquires.

“Why don’t you about your last girl?”, you snap.

As he exhales in frustration, Eddie rises angerly off the bed and stomps into your living before coming back with his phone in his hand. Falling to his knees in front of you, he flashes you the screen but when you try to take it from him he pulls it back.

“Read.”

“Gina Frost, daughter of 90s film star, suing guitarist and business tycoon for palimony.”

Your gaze shifts up to meet his with confusion.

“H-How have I never…”

“Our lawyer managed to put a lock on our information and we don’t actually go into a court or anything. Not yet anyway…”, he sighs.

“Can she…I mean…palimony is for a couple not a—”

“Yeah we know.”, Steve cuts you off a bit harshly. “Add that twist into the knife she stabbed into our backs.”

“I’m so sorry. I really am… I didn’t tell you about my ex because I felt stupid and I thought…maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore if I told you. I swear, Steve, Eddie, I don’t have feelings for him. I like you two. I mean I know this is just a…I don’t know…a thing right now but I do enjoy talking to you. I feel safe with you and even though we can’t put a specific label on it I at least consider you my friends. You know…my old man friends that fuck me from time to time.”

They both laugh at your joke causing you to smile as you relish the sound.

“We felt the same.”, Eddie responds first, guiding you against your pillows as he follows and climbs in beside you. “She took advantage of us and it took us forever to even catch on. We like you to...”

“Very much.”, Steve added as he curled up beside you as well. “We’re not that old, ya brat.”

You giggle as they pull you closer to their sides.

“Are you safe? From him, I mean?”

“Yeah, he won’t do anything while we’re at work and if he did I would knock him out. That’s what happened last time. He yanked on my blouse and I turned around to punch him. He told people in the school he got in a bar fight defending a girl.”

“Jesus Christ. What a dick.”, the rockstar chuckles.

“Thank you both for coming over. I really need this…needed you.”

That makes them softly smile as you slowly begin to drift off to sleep. Eddie’s eyes scan his friend’s demeanor as he absently plays with your hair.

“Steve Harrington, whatever you’re thinking about doing, you can’t.”

“I don’t like him being in the same building with her. What if he hurts her again?”

“She said he won’t. Ah, ah.”, he tuts as the mogul starts to argue. “Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like it either but… that’s not part of our deal. We have to trust her. Unless she asks us to deal with him, we shouldn’t bringing that kind of attention our way.”

“Eddie, I don’t care about that kind of attention. Fuck Gina and fucking popular opinion.”, he growls. “What if…what if we can’t get to her or what if he does something worse… She said he changed after they moved. It just makes me nervous especially with us going out of town soon. I want to know she’s ok.”

“She’s a strong girl and if she needs anything she’ll tell us. We can’t control her like that. We aren’t those kind of men… we aren’t our dads.”

Steve glances his way, exhaling as he reaches over to pat his best friend’s arm.

“You’re a good dude, Munson.”

“Aw.”, Eddie coos. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself, Harrington.”

#################

@aol19 @paradisepoisons @paleidiot @dashingdeb16

@lilaclazer @joannamuns9n @thwippyparker @emotionaldreamer

@aactuaaltraash

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shadowdaddies · 9 days

Note

I am a sucker for angst so can I please request a Ruhn danaan x reader. Where she and ruhn have been together for a while, and she overhears ruhn saying something about her being a bet or a dare. A lot of angst and maybe some fluffy ending

thanks for the request, love💜

Just a Bet

Ruhn x Reader angst to fluff

Smoothing your hair, you stepped out of your car in the driveway as you strode towards Ruhn’s house. You were already regretting the heels you’d donned for your anniversary, feet aching in opposition to the excitement you felt to celebrate one year since Ruhn had asked you out.

Cheeks burning from smiling so hard, you turned the door handle and entered the busy frat house. It wasn’t unusual for many guests to be over, so you paid them no mind as you shouldered your way through the crowd toward the game room where Ruhn usually spent evenings like this.

Juniper caught your eye from across the room, and you waved to her and Fury as you approached the doorway where Ruhn’s voice echoed in a comforting rumble - until you heard Flynn’s voice.

“One year ago, I bet you that you wouldn’t ask her out,” he laughed, the sound of clinking beer bottles and jeers following.

Your heart leapt in your throat when you heard Ruhn’s voice, time standing still as you awaited his response. Your boyfriend scoffed, “I didn’t think I could either.”

Dec chimed in at that point - your kindest friend in the group - his tone teasing as he drawled, “I still can’t believe she took you seriously.”

Your pulse pounded in your ears, eyes pricking with tears as the conversation came together in your head. You were nothing more than a bet to Flynn, a joke that Declan couldn’t take serious, and apparently Ruhn felt the same.

Ripping the painful heels off your feet, you sprinted down the stairs and out of the house. Tossing the shoes in your passenger seat, you wiped the tears from your eyes and started the engine before heading back to your apartment.

The dress felt ridiculous, hair a mess and makeup ruined from crying as you stumbled into your home. Why would Ruhn have stayed with you for this long from a stupid bet? Were you nothing more than a joke, for him and his friends’ amusement?

The thought made tears well up once more, this time pouring over your cheeks as you sobbed. Practically ripping the dress from your body, you ignored the buzzing of your phone in favor of your welcoming shower.

Stepping under the steaming hot water, you scrubbed the memory of tonight as best you could from your skin before stepping out. Wrapping a fluffy towel around your body, you sighed with a hint of relief.

Realizing how dried out you were from your tears, you padded towards the kitchen for some water when you were stopped in your tracks. Bryce lay on your couch, lazily flipping through the tv channels as amber eyes flicked to yours.

With a dramatic sigh, she set down the remote, turning fully to face you. She took in your disheveled state, expression softening at the redness in your eyes, your puffy cheeks.

Shutting off the TV, Bryce sat up and patted the open space on the sofa next to her.

“I need water,” you whispered through a sniffle, voice raspy from dehydration.

“I’ll get it for you. Sit,” Bryce directed, her voice gentle as she sprung gracefully from the couch and headed toward the kitchen.

You settled into the cushions, picking a pillow from behind you to hold against your chest. Nodding a silent thanks, you took the water from Bryce and drank it down, the cold liquid cooling your heated cheeks.

“Fury texted me. She and Juniper saw you running out of Ruhn’s house before he came downstairs asking if they’d seen you. He’s been blowing up everyone’s phones, worried about you.”

A bitter laugh escaped your lips, but you found yourself unable to make eye contact with your friend as you muttered, “Yeah, I’m sure he’s heartbroken.”

Before you could react, the pillow was ripped from your arms, Bryce’s manicured nails practically digging holes into its fabric as her eyes simmered with barely contained rage.

“You may be my friend, but Ruhn is my brother. Explain to me why you think his heartbreak is amusing to you.” Your lower lip wobbled at her harsh words, the dam of your emotions about to break again.

Bryce loosed a breath, gently setting the pillow between you on the sofa as she spoke again, her voice softer this time. “I don’t know what happened, but he’s hurting too. Talk to me.”

The patterns on the pillow suddenly became much more interesting, your fingers tracing the stitching in the fabric while you found the courage to voice what you had heard at the house. “I was going to meet Ruhn for our anniversary dinner... but I heard them talking. I heard Flynn say that I was a bet. Even Dec-“

Shifting to rest on your elbows, you hid your face in your hands as the memory flashed too vividly through your mind. “Dec said he couldn’t believe I thought Ruhn was serious when he asked me out.”

You looked up to see Bryce’s own eyes lined with tears, her jaw set in anger as she processed everything you said.

“I’m a joke to them, Bryce. I was just a bet that he’s decided to string along for whatever reason. Maybe he does like me now, but...”

You couldn’t find the words, tongue twisted in knots like your stomach as thoughts eddied deeper and darker as you reflected on the past year of your life.

Bryce’s hand gently reached for your own, holding them softly as she spoke. “I am going to speak with Ruhn and figure out what is going on. If he was such a dumbass to do something like that to you, I’ll kick his ass. But I feel like there has to be something more to it. They’re good males - stupid alphaholes - but they’re good males.”

You nodded, a flicker of hope sparking in your chest at the thought. They had always been kind to you... Surely that couldn’t all be fake?

“Why don’t you get dressed? I’m going to see Ruhn and I’ll pick you up some food,” Bryce promised, pulling you in for a warm hug before turning and heading out the door, phone already in hand as she fired off messages.

You returned to your room, feeling numb from the pendulum of emotions you’d swung on all evening. You vaguely remembered slipping on a t shirt and shorts, returning to the couch to find the channel on Fangs and Bangs before you fell asleep.

You bolted upright at the sound of a soft knock at your door, rubbing the exhaustion from your eyes to look at your phone. Not much time had passed, but the bombardment of earlier messages from Ruhn and your friends filled the screen.

“Are you there? Bryce told me what happened, and it’s not what you think.” A tense beat of silence passed between you. “Please just hear me out. If you’d rather talk to Bryce, she’s downstairs... But I brought food.”

As if on cue, your stomach growled, drawing attention to the hunger gnawing in your gut. Stomping towards the door, you flung it open to grab the food from Ruhn’s hands when his appearance shocked you still.

His violet eyes were rimmed red and swollen like yours, his hair a mess. He was dressed in an all-black suit, the shirt unbuttoned and tie loose. You hated how it tugged on your heartstrings to see him this way, how there was a part of you that could never hate him, even if what Flynn had said was true.

“Fine,” you snapped, snatching the bag of food before returning to the couch without a second glance. “You have one shot to explain.”

Ruhn sighed, the sound slightly drowned out by the soft click of the door closing behind him. You spared him a glance as he took a seat on the couch, careful to keep his distance.

The chipped black paint of his nails blended into his onyx hair as he ran a hand through it, his muscular leg shaking anxiously before he turned to you. Wholly still, Ruhn’s voice emanated with earnest when he finally spoke.

“Bryce told me what you heard, back at my house. I understand how it would sound, but that’s not at all what happened, and I first and foremost need you to know that you are not a joke. You have never been a joke - to Flynn, to Dec, and especially not to me. I was the joke in that room. They were teasing me, because, yes, asking you out was a dare of sorts.”

You felt the rage build in your chest at that, setting down your food on the table as you prepared for what he would say next - or so you thought you were prepared.

“I remember the first time I saw you, when you came into the White Raven with Bryce. It felt like my world tilted on its axis,” he paused, shaky breath leaving his lips as his eyes went hazy, lost in the memory.

“You were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and when you smiled at me I forgot how to breathe. The entire room was staring at you, and you somehow didn’t notice.”

He loosed a breathy laugh, shaking his head as he fought back a smile. “Dec and Marc were teasing me. They saw how I reacted to you, how drawn to you I was. But you were so beautiful and charming, and could have had any male or female you wanted.”

Drawing your legs to your chest, you settled into the couch and fought back the tears in your eyes at his story.

“Flynn’s ‘bet’ was just that I wouldn’t have the guts to ask someone like you out. And I didn’t at first,” Ruhn laughed, toying with his lip ring before those violet eyes flicked up to meet yours.

“But then Flynn said that if I didn’t ask you out, he would. And that’s when I jumped up from our table so fast I knocked Dec’s beer on me, and made a fool of myself asking you out like that.”

Ruhn looked down at your hands, his own twitching as though barely holding back from reaching for you. So you reached for him. The cold silver of his rings was a familiar comfort, and you felt yourself relax as his fingers twined tightly with your own.

“Dec didn’t think you’d take me seriously because I was a dumbass, asking out the most incredible female I’ve ever met while covered in beer and stumbling through my words.” You laughed then, and Ruhn’s entire presence seemed to brighten in response.

“I remember. I thought it was cute. You weren’t the snobby fae royalty I would have expected, and I found it very charming,” you teased, a smile spreading across your face as you then relived the memory of the striking yet goofy male first approaching you.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you that. It’s not exactly something that I’m proud of, that I was so nervous to ask you out. Flynn never lets me live it down.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, feeling embarrassed at how you had jumped to conclusions so quickly. “I feel like I ruined our anniversary. I should have stayed and listened to you.”

Ruhn’s eyes glittered like stars, his hands finding your waist to lift you into his lap. Hooking your arms around his neck, you straddled your boyfriend’s hips. Ruhn exhaled sharply through his teeth, causing you to lean back in alarm.

“It’s just a bruise, curtesy of Bryce.” You blushed, biting back laughter over your friend’s protectiveness. “You did not ruin anything. Flynn, on the other hand, got it worse than me,” he chuckled, nodding to his wounded side.

“You have a lot of people in your life who would do anything for you, including Bryce and myself. All I want is to spend the rest of our night together so I can show you just how much I love you,” he murmured, eyed lidded with desire as you settled further into his lap.

“I think I could arrange that,” you purred, leaning down to kiss Ruhn’s full lips before trailing his jaw, down his neck, his exposed chest.

He picked you up, carrying you bridal style to the bedroom where you spent the night exchanging soft touches and sweet nothings until the sun rose the next morning.

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bangchansgirlsblog · 6 months

Text

Him.

Warning: Abuse, Angst/comfort, crying, blood.

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader

Summary: Hyunjin saves you from an abuse relationship.

Hey😆 if you don’t like graphic things please don’t read. Thank you! Not the best one shot but yeah hope you enjoy it :))

-🩷

"Alex please! I'm sorry!" I yelp as I scrumble on the floor trying to get away from my now angry boyfriend. My hands trembled and my body was now vigorously shaking on the ground.

This had been going on for 30 minutes and I was exhausted and dehydrated. My hands were slippery from the blood that laid on them. All my senses were gone at this point but he kept going and going.

"You'll be actually sorry when I'm done with you," his fist connecting with my chin as I scream in pain from the constant beating of his hands against my limbs. His steps were loud and his breathing was even louder. His face occasionally getting really close to mine.

"Please forgive me! I didn't mean it! Alex please!" I get on all my fours and take a few crawls away from his standing figure but his hands wrapped around around my ankle and yanked me back to his body.

He had a smirk on his face. He enjoyed this. I knew he did but the constant manipulation and lying words tricked my mind into thinking that maybe he was just stressed or tired or maybe I did something to trigger him whenever this would happen.

This time was done I know I had to get away somehow. I knew that if I didn’t leave him I would end up dead or I could put anyone at risk with him around.

I’m ripped away from my thoughts and prayers when his voice booms into my eardrums. A ringing sound now playing really loudly.

"You think you can be a little slut huh?! You think you can get away with this shit?! You're fucking pathetic!"

My eyes are glued to his body. His arms were both grasping and digging into my flesh. Small whimpers are leaving my mouth. I couldn’t see anything due to the tears that fogged my site but I knew he was so proud of himself.

He knew he could control me. He thought I wouldn’t leave him but this time I was thinking about it. Thinking about getting here alive.

I pray that it’s all over when he just glared at me and it is when he spits on me and walks away. His saliva is hot against my face. My body laying on the ground as I tried to get energy to get up. I slowly look up to see if he was still In the room but thankfully he was gone.

The slamming front door confirms it.

The world seemed to be moving in slow motion. The plate that was once neatly stacked with food was now on the floor and shattered.

Pillows were everywhere and the painting Hyunjin had made me was now ripped on the floor.

Heavier sobs leave my mouth as I slowly get up but I’m unable to. My body wouldn’t allow it. My shaking arms couldn’t support the weight. My breathing was getting worse but the sound is covered with my phone was ringing non stop.

Hyunjin's name popping up time and time again.

The warm sension of blood oozed from my nose. The throbbing pain of my nose and now black eye lingered. My body ached.

This was a normal thing tho. Alex didn't have the best temper and I knew that. It was my fault.

I knew he didn't like his food served at this hour but yet I thought that if I somehow convinced him to eat now I could go out later to hangout with the guys. He didn’t like them at all but he always found himself around us trying to make a point about who could come near me and who couldn’t.

I slowly help myself up by leaning on the couch.

My arms were bruised and the breaths I would try to take hurt really bad. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I limp towards the messy area trying to clean it before he came back. Before he would have another reason to snap.

The apartment was quiet. Khami was locked in his cage. The lights were dim and the kettle was boiling.

It was the knock on the door that got me out of my trance. My neck snapping towards it.

Who could be out there? Everyone knew not to come announced. The more I thought about it the more scared I got. Was it the neighbor? Did someone call the cops?

I try to avoid the door but the knocks get more frantic and loud. Hyunjin's voice now coming through.

"Y/n?! Y/n it's me! Please open the door. Are you hurt?! I can see your shoes out here! I know you’re in there!”

I was in the kitchen when Alex had come into the room. He was wearing his work suit and a smile played on his lips. He placed a kiss on my forehead and sets his briefcase on the table.

"Hey love, how was your day?" He asks. I look over at him and give him a tiny smile.

"It was good and yours?" I automatically ask him. My hands were stirring the cooking pot and the kettle of warming water sat besides the sauce pan.

"Yeah just tired,” he tans and furrows his eyebrows while looking at his watch “what are you doing?"

I run my hands nervously and turn towards him.

"Oh I'm just making you a plate of food before I go,"

"Go where?" His eyes furrow and I gulp, "remember I told you that I was going out with the guys? You let me go,”

"Go where? I don't remember this," his eyes squint "why would you go out with the boys?"

"Baby remember when I asked you?" I frown and look up at him. My hands play with the strings from the apron.

"You’re not going-" his voice is firm and now he is towering over me.

"But babe-"

"I said you’re not going and it's final," he snaps before turning around and leaving the room.

I let out a sigh thinking that maybe he was just in a bad mood but nevertheless a no was a no.

I put everything down and pull out to phone Chan who wasn't picking up so the next best option was Hyunjin.

"Hyunjin?" I say softly,

"Hey! How are you?" He beams through the phone. His voice was soft yet excited. The thought of no seeing them hurt my heart. I had been avoiding them due to the clear visual bruises that lay on my body from the fight I had gotten in either Alex a few days ago.

They were all so attentive when I was around them so I knew it wasn’t a good idea to be around when I was covered in bruises. Too many questions.

I begin to explain, "Oh I just come today, I'm sorry-"

"What? This is the 3rd time you've cancelled this week," his voice is layered with confusion, “are you trying to avoid me because of the kiss?”

My heart stops beating for a second and butterflied start to invade my stomach. It was definitely not because of that. I start to blush, I feel it.

"No Hyun it’s because Alex-"

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" A voice booms causing me to jump. I turn to see Alex stood by the door. His frame covering everything.

"It's no one Alex it's just Hyunjin,” I try to explain,

"Hello? Y/n? Is that Alex?" I hear Hyunjin's voice from the other side of the phone before glass shatters causing me to drop the phone.

"What the fuck is your probekm you bitch?!" He yells and charges at me.

"Alex no! I was just-"

I feel a hot sting on my cheek and my body being pulled by my hair to the living room.

I let out a scream causing him to let go and put his palm against my mouth

“Shhh don’t say a word, why the fuck are you telling Hyunjin about our business? Huh?! Is he part of our relationship?!” My eyes go wide and I frantically shake my head no. I can fear the tears starting to form in my eyes.

He lets go of my mouth and I take on a deep breathe trying to regulate my breathing. Trying to get away but my body is thrown to the floor.

“Alex please! Please I won’t do it again! I’m sorry,” a squeal leaves my mouth as I grab my rib cage that was now on fire because of the impact.

His eyes were dark and his fists were clenched and red from the previous fights we had gotten into. He was wearing his normal sweatpants, Shirt and his hair was a mess.

“Do you think you can play me?!” His voice booms through the room.

“No no no , I love you Alex-“

“Then act like it!” He is calm for a second before charging at me again causing me to scream in fear, “You’re the fucking problem. You little pathetic nobody!” His hand wraps around my neck trying to grab me off the floor.

My hands automatically try to remove his finger but his grip is too tight causing me to lack air. Not to breathe.

“Seems you don’t listen? Today I’m going to discipline you again.”

“H-Hyunjin go away please!” I whisper through the door.

“No Y/n! open the door right now or I’m calling the cops,” he threatens. My body goes cold, what could I possibly do?

“No no no! Please don’t!” Panic feels me before my shaky hands slowly open the door and a peep through the little crack.

“What is it hyun?” I whisper. I examine him. His wearing a flannel and some jeans. His airforces on and his jyp budge attached to his shirt meaning he had come from the studio.

“I heard everything Y/n open then door please?” His eyes are soft, warm and glistening.

“No-no you can’t Alex-“ by the time I try to finish the sentence he had managed to push himself through, frantically looking around the room.

“Is that son of a bitch gone?” He looks over at me when his done looking around the room.

“Yes yes- Hyunjin you have to go- he might be back-“ he takes a step back and looks at me in horror.

“Your face-“ he gasps then proceeds to step closer to me.

Sobs leave my mouth again. I try to hide it with my sleeves, “No don’t look at me-“

“I’m killing this motherfucker.” His body is tensed up and his jaw clenches.

His hands reach out to examine me. My face but I wince and try to step back.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here on time my love, this is my fault, I knew he wasn’t okay! Fuck. Are you okay? What hurts? Let me see please princess? Let me take care of you-“ he pulls me on his body but I try to resist. This doesn’t let him let go though.

“Hyunjin-“

“It’s okay, it’s okay” is all he says and that makes me fall against his body. It was overwhelming. I was tired. I was crying. I was a mess. I was in pain. Really bad pain. My chest hurt. He carries me to the couch before examining the bruises even more. His eyes squinting. The room is silent only a few barks from Khami.

His hair was in a ponytail and his nails were painted in black. The little things I was noticing as I stared at him trying to make out what his face was saying or what his brain was thinking.

He gets up and gets the first aid kit and some cleaning supplies before sitting back down.

“I’m going to touch you okay? And it might hurt but I’m just cleaning you up okay?” I just nod trying not to fight or say anything.

“We’re leaving, you’re going to stay with me until we can find you an apartment and you’re leaving this bastard.”

“But he’ll find me Hyunjin,” I cry in a panic.

“Hey hey hey, even if he does, which he won’t. I’ll whoop his ass and give him a big beating. Nothing will happen, plus his going up against 8 boys I think we can take him,”

“What about-“ I wince when he puts a bandage on my arm. My concentration now turning to the throbbing wrist.

“No I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re coming with me, stay here.” He gets up and I watch him closely. He enters Alex’s room and disappears. Knowing I couldn’t argue with him I knew I had to get Khami because that witch would try and hurt him. I limp over to Khami’s cage and get him out. He starts licking my face and whimpering. Knowing he had been watching everything in the apartment from moments before.

“I got your bags love,” Hyunjin says coming back. He gives Khami a small smile before he wraps his hand around my waist pulling me onto him.

“I love you,” his lips touch my softly. His fingers wipe the tears that had fallen from before. His body is warm and he smelt like flowers and blueberries…maybe strawberries.

“I’m going to protect you. I have to protect you.”

Before I can say anything he grabs my stuff and guides me to the car outside closing the door.

This was a new beginning to the end.

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onlyhaos · 2 months

Text

pairing: seungcheol x afab!reader (pt. 2)

genre: angst, fluff (?)

warnings: alcohol consumption, tiny bit of swearing

[a/n] My apologies for this crappy fic, but I’m just not able to continue writing on my longer fics atm😔😔 Tell me if there are other things that should be a warning, if needed. ly💞💞

Seungcheol was not in the mood for jokes right now, and so were you.

Both of you holding back tears.

This all could’ve been avoided if both of you just weren’t so hot headed every time you wanted to discuss your different opinions.

Because every single time it lead to arguments.

Arguments where one gave the other the silent treatment, or completely shut them out their space.

Though today was different, you knew after every fight you and Seungcheol would talk about it. Even if it was a night or a day later.

But neither you nor Seungcheol could believe what left your mouth, when you both spoke about your last disagreement.

When he heard your words, his heart crumbled.

“Do we even still make sense..? Isn’t this all just bad for both of us?- I mean we try to keep something alive that’s dying down more and more.” You said, barely above a whisper.

And he still could hear every word.

“Y/n, are you fucking kidding me, right now? After 2 years, you’re saying that we’re dying down?” He said, trying to hide his sadness with his irritated tone.

It wasn’t easy, and you knew that your words hit the both of you like a bullet, because you were already affected by it as regret filled your mind.

“I..I just mean..” You stammered.

“Keep it to yourself, I do definitely not need to hear it.” A tear slipping down his cheek as he spoke.

Swallowing the big lump down your throat, you spoke again.

“What will we do now?” You choked out, making Seungcheol look at you. Hiding his worries and the way he‘s near a breakdown, too.

He knew that if he broke down now, you and him wouldn’t be able to have a peaceful mind for this conversation. And everything could end, unclear and unsolved.

“I‘ll leave.“

You looked up at your, still, boyfriend, not holding those falling tears back anymore.

“What..?” You questioned, following him, who’s now walking to the front door.

He opened the door, and the last words you heard from him echoed in your head, for the rest of the night:

“Until death do us fucking part, right? Your words.” He scoffed, leaving.

These words made you freeze, your heart felt like it was shattering. Memories brought back, the words, that were the start of your relationship.

They just felt like a broken promise.

You couldn’t stop him from leaving though, since you understood him too much, to be selfish.

All you could see was a blur now, having to accept the fact that this was possibly the end for the both of you.

Further into the night, finding yourself on the couch again, you down the expensive whiskeys Seungcheol likes to drink after a tiring day of work.

Because after sitting in front of the door, for an whole hour and hoping for your boyfriend to come back, you came to the realization that this door was going to stay shut for tonight.

Continuing to recall only his last words were like a nightmare, no, worse than that.

And you couldn‘t drown those words out, no matter how much you drank.

Staring at your phone the whole night, you eventually fell asleep. Since crying, enough to feel dehydrated, and even giving up drinking didn‘t help.

Your figure was just blacked out on the couch, the familiar ringing of your phone pulling you out of your sleep.

Hastily, you searched for it, your head already buzzing and making it harder to focus, on finding the phone that was somewhere on the big furniture.

You looked at your screen, in hopes for it to be Seungcheol.

Even though the screen was completely dark, it was the only thing that lit up your unlit living room.

Jeonghan.

It read.

You hesitated, unsure who would be on the phone now, and fake tapping the accept button twice as you bit your other thumb anxiously.

You put all the courage you had into the nerves of your fingertips. Ready to accept the call, and the second you try to accept it, your phone goes dark again.

You took too much time.

Fuck.

All the confidence you built up in those (maybe not so) sober seconds suddenly evaporated again.

The only solution was shrinking back into yourself, letting tears fall again.

Because never would you have enough courage to call back. Not when you’re unsure about who would accept the call on Jeonghan’s phone.

Letting the darkness of the living room and your sadness take over you again, you slowly closed your teary eyes.

And falling asleep again, just not hearing the next message that’s been sent this time.

Cheollie 🎀🍒

I’ll be back tomorrow, when we’re both a bit more composed. We’ll talk about every single thing, that made us come to thinking that breaking up would be a good idea.

Because I won’t and I don’t want to let you go that easily.

Tomorrow we’ll decide how things will be in the future. If we’ll still have one.

I love you, Y/n.

Jeonghan only looked at Seungcheol, before their eyes met, Seungcheol already broke down. Finding the safety in the arms of his best friend for that night.

And not in his lover.

But he knew if you both wanted something, you would fight for it. As good and as bad you both knew about each other, you’d always pull through together.

You both loved, and such love came with everything.

“Through thick and thin” That was your promise to each other.

pt. 2 <3

#seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #seungcheol fanfic #svt fic #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol angst

179 notes · View notes

calypsocolada · 9 months

Text

COOK | v. sanji

(click here for part two!!!)

synopsis: you're half dead when a cook finds and feeds you. authors note: i had to. i started one peice a little over a month ago and i fall in love easy. this is kind of a rewrite of the baratie arc :) cw: lots of ANGST, near death, dehydration/starvation, blood, gore, violence wc: 5.3k (phew)

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The ocean had never looked more daunting in the entirety of sailing it until now. The boat rocked beneath you, your body moving weakly with each wave that smashed against the side. You're not sure how long you’d been floating through the open sea, you’d lost count of the days. Your body no longer felt like it belonged to you, you didn’t have enough strength to lift your hand to shield the baring sun from your eyes. You stared at a point far off in the ocean. The same point you'd been staring at for days, or was, everything around you looked the same. Under the sun you felt yourself cooking but you let it happen, not like there was anywhere to shield yourself on this small paddle boat. You moved your fingers, feeling the scratches in the wood you had made, you’d tallied everyday you’d been lost out here. You stopped counting after seventeen. Slowly your eyes fell closed. A gentle wind picked up, your hair blowing against your face, you didn’t move it. A sharp wave hit the side of the boat, jerking you to the floor and you let yourself fall, cheek pressing into the wood of the bottom. Through the wood you could hear the calming waves. It was the only thing calming about this entire situation. You had been running away from someone, running straight to death.

You were gonna die out here, you’d been resigned to that for the past two days. No one would care that you were gone, the crew probably didn’t even notice you were gone. Your father, his spiteful words being the reason you set sail, would certainly not care if you died. He constantly reminded you that you’d probably be better use to him dead. Something welled in your eyes. Crying? Out here in the open sea where you ran out of fresh water a few days ago. No, that would be wasteful. Just as soon as the tears formed they were dried up and you wondered if you’d imagined it. You let your eyes wander closed one last time, you felt it, the claws of death, it was strange. Like a cold embrace to your heated skin. You let it envelope you, let your heart slow and your breathing dissipate. It wouldn't be so bad. Everything would stop hurting.

“Uhm, excuse me miss, are you alright?” A voice? No it was certainly in your mind.

“I don’t think she’s alright, Luffy, I think she’s dead.” Another voice chimed in, the claws of death had you, you couldn’t open your eyes. You felt your boat shift as though someone jumped onto it, it rocked violently for a second as someone laughed.

“Don’t tip it!” A girl hissed. You heard her but she sounded far away, or far above you you couldn’t tell.

“Miss?” The voice in your boat asked, so close they almost sounded real. You felt a soft hand push you slightly onto your back.

“Luffy,” A man’s voice admonished. “She’s dead.”

“She’s still breathing, I think she’s dehydrated.” You’re scooped up into skinny arms and heaved off the wooden floor. For a moment you feel like your floating.

Suddenly you’re tossed over the fills the air around you as your eyes shoot open. You struggle in vain against the rough tide pulling you under, a scream escaping your lips, only bubbles forming. The water had wrapped around you, like that cold embrace from before, it grabbed your body and pulled you deeper and deeper. You forced your eyes shut. You heard the distant plunge of someone diving in after you. You feel strong arms wrap around you, gently yanking you up to the surface and onto the wooden floor. Your coughing and sputtering, spitting up water as you crack your eyes back open, bright sun beaming down.

“Idiot!” A man to your left growled.

“I thought the water would help!” The boy who had thrown you (you guessed) ran over, his hand gently patting your back as you tried to recover. You heard a sharp smack and the boy yelped. Warmer hands rubbed small circles into your back, as you tried in vain to catch your breath.

“She’s not a fish, chore boy!” The man beside you hissed, keeping his voice low. You raised your hand weakly to shield the sun from your eyes.

There were three people standing around you, and one kneeling directly at your side. A man with green hair and three swords, a girl with red hair and bright clothes, and a boy with a wide smile and a straw hat. You looked at them puzzled, finally catching your breath. You turned slightly to look at the man who saved you. He was lanky, all long legs. He was in a nice suit and tie, which was drenched, strange for someone out at sea to wear. He had shaggy blond hair, the wet strands sticking to his forehead and a serious look on his face.

That was until he saw you looking at him. Suddenly a smile as bright as the sun fitted to his lips.

“Are you alright?” He asked in a voice just meant for you to hear. You must’ve been dead already, you tried to talk but your throat was dry and scratchy and as the adrenaline wore off you slumped.

“Oh my god, she died!” The boy in the straw hat gasped, you heard another sharp smack.

“Shut up, idiot, she just needs some food and water.” The girl said. You felt the man beside you scoop you up into his arms and you tried to protest, you weren’t some princess in need of saving, but you were still in need of saving and had no strength in your body to protest. So you let him carry you pff somewhere, you weren’t really sure where you even were in the first place and if you really were really alive.

If you were in your right mind you would’ve cut this mans hands off by now, not because he was being inappropriate (which he wasn’t) but because you didn’t like to be touched.

He sat you down, carefully helped you hold a cup of water to down and wiped your chin when you coughed some of it up. You opened your eyes, scanning your surroundings. You were in a kitchen, bright and airy, pans and stoves. A kitchen? Weren't you just in the middle of the sea? He’d propped you up against a wall and left another cup of water near you as he cooked. You could really see him now. He was tall, so tall he ducked under some pans that hung low. He looked like a businessman, definitely not some cook. You reached and pulled the cup of water to your lips and he turned at your movement.

“Feeling a bit better?” He asks caringly. You don’t talk to him, you just downed the cup then slump sideways. He’s there in mere seconds to catch you before you fall to the ground. “Shit, sorry, should’ve laid you down somewhere.” He gently helped you sit back up and leaned you back against the wall.

“Sanji!” A voice fumed from the door. It startled you both. The man, Sanji, in front of you straightened. “Do you know who that is?” You looked over to who was speaking. A large man, and when you say large you mean easily over six five, he was huge. He had aqua hair, a bandana wrapped around his head, and one of the strangest mustache/beard combos you’d ever seen. He had his large arms crossed over his even bigger chest. He looked at you with hatred in his eyes. He knew who you were, though it wasn’t like you were hiding it.

“A pretty girl on the verge of dying?” Sanji asked as the man growled like a dog. His eyes squinted as he pointed menacingly at your torn jacket.

“Idiot! I swear! She’s a Krieg pirate! Look at the patch on her jacket!” The man said as Sanji turned to you but you kept your eyes on the man. You were raised very differently from others, pushed to the edge, battered and beat and polished into something only a monster could love, but in the end the monster never loved you.

Sanji reached out, your eyes sliding to his hand. He had long tan fingers as he smoothed down the side of your jacket, revealing a skull and crossbones with two red hourglass looking things on either side. Sanji must’ve not known much about the Krieg pirates because he shrugs, walking to stir some of the food he was cooking. The large cook eyes you as he steps closer to Sanji, you slowly tilt your head at him. You weren’t afraid, you’d taken out bigger men than him.

“You’re not listening, kid-”

“Stop calling me kid,” Sanji bites, turning the heat on the stove down a bit. “I know who the Krieg pirates are but I don’t care. If I see someone dying and hungry I’m making them something to eat.” Sanji says. You look at him, really look at him. He knew where you’d come from and he didn’t care. He probably knew the moment he saved you, knew it when he took you inside this kitchen and helped you drink water. You swallowed something down, something rising in your chest. True kindness was something you knew nothing about, you’d never really been shown it before. But this, him plating something for you to eat, bringing it over to where you sat slumped, you thought that was kind. He helped you sit up, you took another drink of water before weakly grabbing the fork. It was some kind of soup, probably knowing you wouldn’t be able to keep real food down. He was kind and thoughtful.

“You’re a fool! She’s not just a Krieg pirate, there’s no other women on the whole ship.” The man exasperates, running a hand over his short hair in frustration.

“Patty, would you hush up.”

“She’s the only woman on that ship for a reason, Sanji. Tell me you at least know that.” The cook, Patty asks. You were still too weak to talk, too uncaring about anything but this delicious soup. Your hand shook as you brought the spoon to your mouth, savoring in the warmth sliding down your throat. You felt your stomach slowly stop hurting. Felt yourself regaining strength, regaining a sense of reality. You hadn’t died, realizing that now, had your eyes slowly gazing up at Sanji. He was sitting on the chair next to you, ong legs crossed at the ankles, listening to Patty as though he was talking about something highly amusing. He was handsome, blond hair and sharp lines. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a long puff. Patty huffed, slamming his hand down on the kitchen counter. You startled, spilling a bit of your soup. Sanji noticed and growled in anger at Patty.

“Stop banging on things!” Sanji snaps, cloth in hand as he cleans up the mess, smiling softly at you. You don’t return it, just get back to the soup, there wasn’t much left and you were still hungry. You knew you should take it slow as to not throw up but you felt ravenous.

“She’s Don Krieg’s daughter. The fierce killer, Don Krieg of the Krieg pirates. Killed probably thousands of innocents, stolen ships and money. And you're here playing house with his daughter, which by the way, most likely he’s going to come looking for.” Patty drones on, you slowly blink at him as Sanji stands to get you a bit more soup.

“No,” You say, voice scratchy from barely any use. Patty jumps as though you screamed it at him. Sanji also looks over. This was the first time you’d spoken to them.

“N-no?” Patty echoes, spooked, it almost makes you laugh.

“He’s not coming to look for me.” You murmured, reaching out to take another drink of water. Sanji sat the bowl back in front of you, sliding it into your hands.

“He’s… not?” Patty says and you forget to answer because the soup is too good. He sighs heavily as Sanji eyes you, he liked that you were enjoying his food, he didn’t care that you barely acknowledged him either. Patty dramatically flourished across the kitchen, grabbing Sanji forcefully and pulling him away from your earshot. Sanji protested the entire way but Patty was obviously much stronger. You didn’t care, you knew what Patty was going to say. You knew how it felt to be unwanted, so you drank the rest of the broth in the bowl and waited till you were alone. You could hear a little bit from the hall. Patty tried to drill into Sanji that you were dangerous, which was true. But no matter what Patty said, Sanji didn’t seem to care.

But you knew you overstayed your welcome.

So, weakly, you stood, feeling dizzy. You leaned against the table taking a staggering breath. Slowly you worked your way through the kitchen, slipping out the side door just as you heard Sanji and Patty’s voices raise. The heat barreled down on you and you felt sick to your stomach. You stumbled forwards to the railing, the sea stretching out in front of you. Your heart sped up, just looking out where you’d been stuck for so many days made you unexplainably nervous. You turned away, sliding down the railing, trying to catch a semblance of breath. The wind picked up around you as you let your head fall back against the wood, the ship rocked peacefully beneath you. The door you’d just came out of cracked open, you didn’t open your eyes at the sound.

“Hey,” Sanji’s soft voice cooed, he kneeled beside you. “There you are. Feeling okay?” He asked, his warm hands reaching out, feeling your forehead. You flinched away from his touch, opening your eyes.

“If you want to keep your hands, cook, I suggest keeping them to yourself.” You spoke sharply, sounding just like your father. Sanji pulled his hand away slowly, looking at you with a kind of reverence.

“You’re beautiful.” He swooned and you felt yourself violently flush all over. You turned away from him. You probably looked like death or at least close to it, this man must’ve been insane.

“You’re strange.” You say, into the wind, not facing him. You hear Sanji laugh and you find yourself turning to see what he looked like when he was laughing. His eyes were squinted, mouth slightly open, cheeks full. There wasn’t much laughing where you came from. It was nice to see. You stared at him, watched his adam's apple bob.

“That you may be right about.” He says and you look away when he looks back at you. “You should come back in, get out of the sun for a bit.” Sanji suggests. You shake your head.

“I should get going.” You say and feel Sanji shift beside you. For someone who just met you he cares more than all the other people in your life.

“You were on the verge of dying a little over an hour ago and you wanna set back out?”

“I’m not welcome here.”

“Yes you are.” Sanji proclaimed and you turn to him. He knew your father, knew who you were and still was asking you to stay. He was out of his mind.

"You think your cook friend Patty is the only one who knows the Krieg pirates? Once everyone else finds out-"

"They'll have to go through me. I don't care what they think."

"You don't even know me." You growl, finally turning to look him in the eyes. You leveled him with a dark glare.

"I don't, that's true but- I'll still take care of you." He says with strong conviction. You couldn't help but show your emotions on your face.

"Why?"

"Because you need me to."

"I don't need you, cook." You snap, huffing. You watch the corner of his lips quirk up slightly.

"I like that nickname but I would rather you call me Sanji." He bantered. "I just realized I never asked your name." He looks at you expectantly.

"Not important. Now, I should really get going-”

“Pirates! Krieg Pirates!" Someone yells from below the balcony. You snap your head at the voice, pushing clumsily to your feet. Blood rushed to your head, making you lose a bit of your balance. Sanji caught you, helped you stand straight as you both looked out to the sea.

Sure enough there was a ship, a familiar ship. Dark brown wood, golden yellow accents, torn sails. It looked like a ghost ship. A ship right out of your nightmares. Your too recent nightmares. You staggered backwards, right out of Sanji’s hands, slamming to the deck below you. Your heart hammered around in your ribcage. Sanji reached for you but you scooted from his hands.

“He’s here.” You breathe out, lips trembling.

“Come on, I’ll hide you.” Sanji implored but you just shook your head.

“It's too late.” You shuddered, trying and failing to get to your feet. Sanji grabs you gently, forcing you to face him, you're so frazzled that you don’t even have the time to be angry.

“It's not too late! Come with me-”

“I’m… I’m dead no matter what I do.” You say, eyes haunted. Sanji’s jaw ticks.

“I don’t care who your father is, he won’t lay a finger on you.” That sentence was enough to snap you out of your fear. You laughed, it was a bitter, surprised laugh.

“You don’t stand a chance against him, cook.” You snap. Sanji’s head cocks just slightly.

“Then hide, he’ll tire of looking for you here and leave.”

“MY LITTLE VIOLENCE!” A voice booms from the deck. Your heart falls right out of your chest. You swallow, pushing Sanji’s hands away from you. He looks at you, he was so desperate to save you, wanting nothing more than to hide you away, you could see it written on his features.

“Thank you for saving my life, Sanji.” You intoned softly, walking unsteadily towards the stairs, he catches you by the wrist.

“Don’t go, please, I can hide you.”

“COME OUT VIOLENCE, I KNOW YOU’RE HERE… I SAW THE RATTY LITTLE SHIP YOU STOLE FROM ME!” You gave Sanji a look, squeezed his hand gently then slipped down the stairs. He called out for you but you just set off.

Your father had docked his ship, bounded off the ladder and landed heavily on the deck of the Baratie where you’d been saved. It had been a little over two months since you left the Krieg pirates. That had come to an end now, they found you. Your father slammed his fist against the railing, splintering the wood. Cooks started running towards the noise, poised to defend the ship. You wouldn’t let anything happen to them, your father came here for one reason and one reason only… you.

“VI-O-LENCE!” He sounded out, laughing as a crowd formed. You descended the last step and pushed through the crowd until your eyes met your fathers. A manic gleam shone in his eyes, his lips cracking out in a large demented smile. “My girl, there she is.” He greeted, you stopped a few feet from him, the crowd hushed all around. “I’ve been scouring the sea for you.” He says, reaching for you. You froze at his touch as he brought you into his burly chest, you felt suffocated and scared. He’d never shown you a lick of affection the entirety of your life. He smoothed your hair down, holding you closer. “I don’t like losing things that belong to me.” He whispers to just you, violently tightening his hold as more of the Krieg pirates. You're so weak, still too unfit to even be standing to think about squirming out of his hold. He turns, bringing you with him. You watch as Sanji bobs and weaves through the crowd of people, eyes searching for you.

“Don,” You start, because you're not allowed to call him Dad.

“Hush, girl, hmm… this is a nice boat.” He slams his foot down on the wooden bottom. “She’s sturdy.” He comments, he turns again, dragging you with him, you lose your balance but he holds you like you weigh nothing, like you really aren't a person but one of his things. “Is this where you hid from me, daughter?” He asked, looking around the large ship as though he was taking in the sights. You bite your lip from answering because you're afraid your voice would show how much pain he’s putting you through. “I like it.” He declares, suddenly releasing you, you slam to the deck, head banging against the wood. Sanji rushed forwards to you but someone grabbed and held him back. That garners your fathers attention. He looks from you to Sanji as if he knows something happened between you two. Your stomach turns because the way Sanji is looking at you most definitely isn’t helping. Your father cocks his head, he bends down and yanks you to your feet, you yelp at how sudden it was. Sanji’s jaw ticks with anger. “I’ll take this ship. For you.” He says, hand on the hilt of his sword. Your lips part in surprise.

“M- me?” You stutter out, your father’s face is hard as he nods your head.

“It’s a nice ship, we’ll kill everyone on it and take it for ourselves!” He declares, the Krieg pirates start an uproar, excitedly whooping, shoving their swords in the air. You turn to him, pleading in your eyes.

“I-- I don’t need this ship.” You say, but your voice doesn’t carry past the excited pirates. “I don’t need this ship.” You say louder this time, the pirates settle, surprised you had spoken up. Don turns to you, eyes like fire. His hand rose fast, so fast you hadn’t known what happened until you hit the deck hard. Whoever had been holding Sanji must’ve either let go or was overpowered because Sanji came barrelling through the Krieg pirates only to be stopped by a few that grabbed his arms. Your heart seized in your throat as Don cackled. He looked between you both before stepping forwards and winding up, throwing a punch to Sanji’s abdomen. Blood spit from Sanji’s lips as he doubled over. You watched in horror as Don dealt him punch after punch. He winded back for one last hit, his knuckles colliding with pure metal. Don stumbled back, eyes wide as he narrowed them at you, holding one of his shields in hand. You’d protected Sanji, you're not even sure why you’d done it, you just found yourself feeling a fierce protectiveness. You turned to the pirates still holding Sanji, just one look from you had them cowering in fear. At least they knew better. Don might’ve overpowered you but no one else would. They let Sanji free and he fell forwards into your arms.

“Well… Isn’t this interesting.” Don growled. You swallowed hard, a lot of Sanji’s weight was on you, he was hurt badly. You lowered him to the ground so as to not drop him and looked back at your father.

“This man showed me kindness. I would’ve died if it weren’t for him.” You say as though it was going to persuade him. But Don just tosses his head back, cackling manically.

“So you’re indebted to him, hmm?” Don reaches and tosses a knife to you, the blade circling until you catch the hilt mere inches from Sanji’s throat. “No daughter of mine owes her life to anyone but me. Kill him.” Your lips dropped open in disbelief. Don was cruel, this shouldn’t have surprised you one bit. Sanji coughs in your arms, you look down at him. He’d shown you so much kindness, saved you twice, but in the end… you always did what your father wanted. You wanted his love, his respect. You swallowed heavily, placing the handle of the blade in Sanji’s hand. He looked at you, confused. You helped him to his feet and stepped away from him. This had to be a fair fight, you both were weak. Sanji staggered to the side slightly, loosely holding the knife. You summoned whatever strength you had and leveled Sanji with the stare you’d given many before him. Many men that challenged you that lost. You were your fathers daughter after all.

“So that,” Sanji coughed. “That’s how it’s gonna be?” He asked and fixed you with a smile, he tossed the knife aside.

“Pick it up.” You growled. Sanji shook his head. With one swift movement you swiped the knife from the floor and tossed it at Sanji’s shoulder, he caught it by the blade. Your brow raised. He had skill.

“I’m not fighting you.” Sanji insisted. “You’ll have to kill an unarmed man.” You cock your head.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” You’re quick, it was easy to hide your pain, to misplace it for a fight, you’d hidden your pain time and time again.

“You're a fool if you think my daughter will go easy on you!” Don cackled. "I call her Violence for a reason..." Sanji on the other hand looked startled, clearly he didn’t think you could move so fast. He blocked a few of your blows, stumbling back. He dodged one and a blunt force kick to his abdomen sent him flying back, tumbling on the deck. You swiped the knife from the floor and tackled him to the deck, trapping him beneath your body. You pressed your knife forcefully to his throat and dared him to fight back. But he didn’t. The entire fight he only blocked he never fought back. This made you more angry than anything. Sanji looked you in the eyes and he raised his chin to give you better access to his throat. The anger building inside of you halted.

“What’re you doing? Fight back!” You insisted but Sanji only shook his head, the knife digging into the skin of his throat threatening to break it. You pulled back slightly, not wanting… You clenched your jaw. “You’ll just let me kill you?” You ask and Sanji just smiles up at you.

"Killed by a beautiful woman doesn't sound too bad.” He whispers just for you to hear. Your lips part, eyes going wide.

You're beautiful. He'd said that, he meant it. He was crazy.

“What's taking so long? Kill him!” Your father growled from behind. You flinched at his words, swallowing dryly, your grip on the knife tightened. Sanji didn’t even flinch, it was like he didn’t care he might die. Or maybe he knew he wouldn’t.

“Fight me.” You pleaded just between the two of you but he only smiled at you, a damned smile that would haunt your dreams if you listened to your father and slit his throat. You always listened to him... but where did that ever get you? You tossed the knife. It clattered against the deck, silence slicing the air. Sanji let out a breath he was holding as you turned to face your father.

“Violence-”

“I will not kill him.” You said, the strength in your voice had your father surprised. “I breathe because of him, I owe him my life. I won’t be the one to kill him.” Sanji’s eyes looked up to you, you who he’d saved, the beautiful girl. He remembered as a child the captain told him he loved too easily, it never changed.

Someone wrenched you by the back of the hair, dragged over to your father. Sanji fought like hell to get to you. Everything happened quite quickly. Pirates had seized Sanji, grabbing him and when you were able to find your footing you felt pain like no other. Your fathers sword ran you straight through, the tip dripping your own blood. You heard Sanji yell for you, heard the cooks start attacking the pirates. Don yanked his sword out of you, it had missed any vital organs but you had still bled the same. Don grabbed you roughly by the neck, turning you to face him.

“You’re no daughter of mine.” He growled, spittle hitting your cheeks. “Gas masks on, boys! We’re bombing the rest of the ship!” Don called out as he roughly threw you aside. Your father didn’t even spare you one last glance before boarding his own ship amidst the chaos. LIke he was too good for a fight right now.

Warm blood spilled down the front of you, soaking your shirt clean. You pushed to your feet, your abdomen screaming in pain. You heard the smoke bomb hit the deck. Most of the cooks were jumping into the ocean but you wouldn’t make it, and you couldn’t because across the deck, battered and bloody was Sanji, passed out cold. He wouldn’t survive the gas. You stole a mask, kicking the pirate that held it into the sea. You stumbled and fumbled your way forwards, holding your stomach as blood seeped through your fingers.

You reached Sanji just in time, he was slowly coming to. You fixed the mask over his face and he groggily stared at you, when he went to remove it you slid on top of him, holding the mask in place. He struggled weakly under you, for someone losing a lot of blood you had an impressive amount of strength left.

The poison sulked closer until you couldn’t see or feel anything. Sanji still struggled beneath you but you only push harder. He’d saved you twice, you wanted to repay him at least once.

"Let go!" His voice was muffled, he was regaining some stregth, you weren't sure how much longer you could hold out. "Please... don't-" You held until you couldn’t anymore, until the smoke was clearing and you slumped forwards on top of Sanji. He struggled beneath you for a moment before carefully moving you over, the mask falling from his face. He hadn’t known what was happening when he first woke up but he knew now. You saved him at the cost of your own life. Tears flooded in his eyes as he held you.

“No… no no no.” He said, brushing your hair from your face, your eyes were closed, you had nothing left in you to keep them open. You felt his soft hands on your face and thought this would be a nice way to go out. You hadn’t known him for long but you felt some connection to him, you felt cared for for the first time in your life. You felt your body slacken.

“Put the mask on her face to help filter out some of the toxins and take her up to the top deck for some fresh air!” Someone directed. Sanji was quick to fix your face with the mask, to scoop you up and run you up to the top deck.

You opened your eyes to see your fathers ship sailing off in the distance, a hot tear slid down your cheek.

Sanji was careful with you, you had no idea why you were still conscious but you felt everything he did. He placed you on something soft, held pressure against your wound. You felt him stitch you back together and bandage you up. Maybe you were dead already? Maybe you were feeling phantom touches? Maybe you died on that ship all those hours ago, of starvation and dehydration. And just when all those scary thoughts formed, Sanji’s fingers intertwined with yours. He held your hand, he was shaking slightly. Slowly your eyes opened. He was sat just beside you, he looked terrible, with cuts, scrapes and bruises. Dried blood in his lips, his cheek wet with tears. He was crying over you...

“San-ji?” Your voice cracked, you don’t think you’d ever heard yourself sound so weak and tired. Sanji perked up at your voice, forcing a smile on his face.

“Hey, everythings okay.” He coos, squeezing your hand. For once in the entirety of your life you believed it was. You let go.

#one piece #one peice x reader #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #sanji one piece #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #sanji vinsmoke #op x reader #sanji x you #sanji x y/n #sanji opla #opla #opla spoilers #sanji opla x reader #taz skylar

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mxqdii · 7 months

Note

Can you do an angst to fluff with Chris plz? Where Chris has been on tour, reader is a singer/actress that's booked and busy and it's putting strain on their relationship because they almost never see each other in person. <33

unexpected visitor - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris is on tour and y/n is on set all the time, making no time for chris and y/n to see eachother

warning(s): angst, crying, fluff, hospitals, mentions of injury.

not proofread

"when will you be back in boston?" i ask chris, holding the phone up to my ear

i hear no response on the other end

"hello? chris?" i say, still nothing.

the call hangs up and i sigh, suddenly getting a text from chris

"sorry, bad service"

i groan, putting my phone down.

i've been on set all week, this was the only week chris was in boston before leaving for tour.

i can't help but let a few tears fall in frustration

i miss my boyfriend, so much.

but with both of our schedules not mixing, we literally never see eachother anymore.

suddenly i get a call from my manager.

clearing my throat, i answer.

"hello y/n! i just wanted to inform you that filming will be canceled for the rest of the week" she says and my eyes widen

"really? why??" i ask

"most of the cast has been getting sick, its been going around this week" she says with a slight laugh

"okay thank you! have a nice night" i say, hanging up.

i go to bed that night, planning on flying to see chris tomorrow.

i wake up the next morning not being able to breathe

i sit up frantically trying to clear my throat but failing

i look to my nightstand seeing a glass of water, taking a big gulp before letting out a gasp for air.

fuck, i'm sick.

my chest feels heavy and i feel nauseas, hot, and cold at the same time.

i try to stand but fail, falling to the floor

i try to speak but fail, whats happening to me?? why am i all of a sudden so sick??

the doorbell rings and i roll my eyes

i try to stand up to get it, but fail,

everything going black.

i wake up to the sound of beeping, trying to open my eyes adjusting to the brightness around me

i look around seeing myself in an unfamiliar room, where the fuck am i??

a nurse walks in and i try to speak but fail

"here sweetie, drink this" she says, handing me a glass of water

i clear my throat and sigh

"why am i in a hospital? who brought me here?" i ask

"you passed out, you're really sick and dehydrated. your friend alahna found you" she explains

i nod, grabbing my phone seeing like a hundred missed calls from chris

i call him back, the line ringing a few times before hanging up.

chris? chris call me back so i can explain please answer hello? chris helloooo?

i text him over and over, no response.

i bury my face in my hands, sobbing

maybe this isn't working.. we can never even reach eachother, i don't even know where he is.

i hear the door to my room open, assuming it's just the nurse

"hey, why are you crying love?" i hear and look up immediately

"chris.." i mumble, wide eyed

he walks up to me, wiping my tears with his thumb

"how did you- i-" i try to speak but just end up crying more

"it's okay, i'm here now thats all that matters" he says with a smile

"how did you know?" i croak out and he laughs

"alahna called me and i hopped on the first flight out" he replies

"i really missed you chris" i sniff

"i missed you too love, next show is in a week so until them i'm all yours" he reassures

"you promise?"

"i promise"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookwor

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo headcannons #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fluff #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo #matt fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #madispeaks!

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notjuststardust · 8 days

Text

Bucket Time Trafalgar LawxReader

Reader eats too much brownie batter and suffers. Inspired by me at least once a week :). Keep in mind this is not proof read and its literally the first forethoughts that belched from my brain rot of this concept so take it easy if there are grammatical errors, please. Might upload an edited 3rd draft once I get there but for now enjoy this fluffy slice of doctor Law taking care of his sweet tooth crewmate. Fluff and some angst if you squint.

TW: Mentions of vomit, hypersensitivity.

“What did I say about consuming raw brownie batter?” Your captain growled, your locks in hand as you wretched into your bucket for the fifth time tonight.

“Not to eat it in copious amounts..” you whine, giving him your best puppy eyes in hopes of some sort of appeasement.

“No I said don’t eat it at all.”

“But-“ you’re caught off guard by another wave of nausea, dipping your head back over your bucket and spilling your guts. As irritated as your captain is, he can't help but feel a swell of pity about your predicament. You always licked some of the brownie batter from the bowl on baking day despite his strict orders not to but Shachi and Penguin had dared you to down the entire thing. You’d done it in 60 seconds.

That had been the beginning of the end of your wellness.

“S-sorry,” you sniff, tears slipping from the mere action of relieving your stomach, grabbing for the clean cloth on the sink to wipe your mouth. “Wont do it again.” You mutter weakly, head nearly drooping from tired yet Law knows one thing and that is that your sweet tooth always makes you a liar.

Once your fever goes down and he discharged you to your quarters when next month rolls around you’ll forget all about this and indulge once again in the chocolate goodness.

It’s too late for another scolding so he chokes back a comment, replacing your bucket with a new one. As the sink rolls on he watches you in his peripheral, barely upright from dehydration and exhaustion. He’s shocked you haven’t dropped by now. You’ve had a fever since 5 o clock when Shachi and Penguin had finally decided to relay your secret sickness to the captain.

You’d made them promise not to because you looked ‘gross’ and smelled bad but it was no worse then what he already was used to. Now it was 1am and you were barely upright, staring off in a daze of impending doom toward your bucket.

“Go to sleep.” It sounds more like a threat than a suggestion. You huff and squirm.

“If I fall asleep I might miss the bucket. I’ve never missed the bucket before.” He freezes mid scrub, cranking his head to look at you. Sensing his stare you stare harder at the bucket, trying to ignore the intensity bubbling his steel gaze molten.

“Your health is not something to make a gamble of,” more than anger is evident in his command, making you shrink. “If you miss I’ll just clean it up,” he gestures to the cot pulled out in his office for you. “Now sleep.” He gruffs watching you stand and sway out of the bathroom, careful to avoid even a glance his way.

He relaxes once he thinks he’s won.

That’s until he’s droning through paperwork only to find you wide awake at the crack of dawn, refusing sleep even still. “(Y/N)-ya.” Your eyes snap shut. He stands from his desk.

“I haven’t missed the bucket before, I won’t miss it now!” You levy and that’s the hump that breaks the camels back. All the worry, stress and disrespect peaks spilling out of Law’s throat as projectile, emotion and tired clouding the real contents that spew fourth.

“Are you that naive? I’m a doctor. Without proper sleep your body won’t properly restore your ATP. You’ll just keep getting worse,” he snaps, hackles raised as you turn up your nose in refusal. “If you’re really going to act like such a child I may as well drop you off with strawhat-ya! Tell me, is that what you want? You might fit in with the band of idiots..” The tension clenching his chest into what had felt like chronic hypertension eases with his outburst for only a moment.

There’s only the brr of the submarine and the shuffle of a body, yours, flipping over to face the wall. Law opens his mouth to take it back but you speak first. “If that would be easier for you, I accept your decision, captain.” Your body trembles and it’s not from the uptick of waves. Caging a hand over his mouth Law tries to concoct something to salvage his harshness with you. A snore graces your lips and whether artificial or not the doctor decides is best to simply say nothing for now.

—-

Law returns from breakfast to find your cot freshly made and… empty. Oh no.

He starts with your bedroom. You hadn’t been down for breakfast and he hadn’t taken your temperature just yet. Had you seriously left before he could make sure you were okay? No, you were sensitive, a bit silly but you were not an idiot. Not like he had said at all. After checking just about every room the doctor freezes something blatant clicking in his brain. He murmurs a quiet ‘shambles’ switching himself with one of Ikkaku’s trinkets only to enter as a closet door slams shut.

“Ikkaku.” The ginger slowly turns her head, face pale as she giggles too much. He doesn’t need to say anything because he scanned the room the minute he’d switched. You’d been found a while ago.

“H-hey captain, what are you doing in here?” He almost states his business fully but the only worry on his crewmates face is for fear of you being found. If you were sick Ikkaku would most definitely rat you out.

“Tell (Y/N)-ya I need to see her in my office when you see her.” He flicks a telling glance toward the closet before hesitantly excusing himself and like clockwork he hears the closet reopen.

“He wants to get rid of me. Doesn’t he?” He goes frigid at your words. You were notably the most sensitive of your crew members. Emotion and human behavior were your strengths so how could you think such a thing? Nevermind, of course you thought that, you’d thought he implied it last night.

Law stands outside the door, frog in his throat when you open it. You don’t seem shocked that he’s out there but you don’t seem happy either, eyes scanning him over for any sense that he had in fact heard your words. “Sorry.” You apologize almost instantly, eyes set to the ground in silent shame. There was more color to your face and you smelled like waffles.

You’d kept something down, good.

“Room.” He murmurs, and you both reappear in his study. You blink off the still heavy nausea and plonk into a chair. He takes your temperature and administers a subcutaneous antibiotic. The silence is loud.

“I left a note with my vitals for this morning.” He eyes his desk and sure enough there’s a note written in big letters, ‘Need some space. BPM 68….’ He swallows as he reads through your detailed note. You didn’t leave a single thing to the imagination because you knew he’d worry. Law nods, then he slides back into his chair.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I know I might now show it but… you had me worried.” You nod but do not move, do not even offer a single joke. He feels his heart clench. “Do you remember much?” He offers as a transition, folding his hands together on the table.

“Everything.” It’s not an admission but it sure feels like it. His tongue fumbles into knots and you notice. “You were tired.” You say so quietly, eyes set on the medicine cabinet for comfort instead of him.

“That’s no excuse,” he counters just as quickly wanting so badly for you to just look at him, see his side. “You are not an idiot and you have no place on any other crew.” Your brows pop and you let out a low whistle.

“That’s rich.” It almost sounds bitter but there’s the twitch of a laugh.

“Care to let me in on the joke?” He inquired cooly, forcing himself not to take it personally, yet. You consider yourself.

“Well,” you shoot a glance Law’s way. “I mean it would be great petty revenge to join Luffy’s crew.” Your captain facepalms.

“(Y/N)-ya-“

“If you wanted to visit me I’d make sure to get real cozy with Luffy so I didn’t have to talk to you.” You tease as he snorts. The thought of you and Luffy together gave him a headache, not to mention his stomach soured at the mere idea of you brushing hands and stolen glances at one another.

“You hate me that much, huh?” He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. There’s quiet.

“I could say the same thing to you.” You say it so casually he nearly chokes. He looks up to find your teasing feign gone. What was it you had said earlier?

“He wants to get rid of me. Doesn’t he?”

“I do not want to get rid of you.” There is conviction and then there is objective fact, this was that. Nothing you could say nor do could change the fact that even though you were sometimes a moron who ate too much brownie batter or an idiot that took bathes with electronics in the tub you were his problem and to be quite frank, his favorite problem.

Though you were an inconvenience at times you were a comfort to just about everyone on board. You brought a content that hadn’t been here in your absence and a space for Law to be palpable despite his hesitancies. Not to mention you always followed through.

A consistent chaos in a sea of abnormalities.

“Are you sure?” You murmur, words unsteady as the sea of ‘want to says’ in his head. He nods and reaches onto the desk, open palmed and flicking his pointer. His cheeks heat as you stare at his hand. Then you put a pen where he’s requesting your hand.

He about deflates.

“Y-yes, I’m sure.” He puts the pen away when realization his you like a brick.

“Wait-“ not wasting another second you take hold of his hand. He clears his throat as you stare at him for confirmation, gifting you a curt nod. Maybe he couldn’t say the words but you could read the in betweens.

“You’re my problem. Do you understand?” Bravely, he lifts your hand bringing it to his mouth. He hesitates as you gulp, careful only to brush his mouth over a knuckle once he's certain you don’t want to protest.

“Y-yes Captain!” You give him some sort of mock salute in the middle of your fluster, bashful as you realize what class of problem you were. He chuckles softly, releasing your hand.

“That means no more brownie batter,” he stands at full height, leaning over the desk to take in all your bashful glory. “That way I can finally taste those beautiful lips of-“ That’s when Shachi and Penguin burst down the door, parting the anticipatory union and turning you both red with embarrassment.

“Too much cookie dough!” They grovel, sloshing to piles of green much on the floor.

It’s bucket time again.

#trafalgar law #law trafalgar x reader #trafalgar law headcanons #one piece imagine #law x reader #law trafalgar #one piece x reader

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tigertales9 · 1 year

Text

More Than Anything II

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: 18+ / Angst / Body image issues due to pregnancy / Smut

Description: This is part 2 of More Than Anything

A/N: I was hoping to get this up a couple days ago but got stuck tweaking a few bits. I'm still not completely happy with it, but that's the story of my life. Hope y'all like it.

-----------------------

~ ~ Friday afternoon just after Joe leaves ~ ~

You eventually slide off the barstool, grabbing your phone to shut the video down before guzzling your entire glass of water. "Thirsty as hell," you grumble, walking to the fridge to refill your glass. It's no wonder, you think, taking a couple of gulps of the cold water while heading for the stairs. I'm super dehydrated from all the crying and throwing up.

You walk into the master bedroom and flick the ceiling fan on, setting your phone and drink on the bedside table before crawling into bed; as you try to get comfortable you hear a distinct voice in your head.

You overreacted like crazy. You know that, right?

"Fuck off, Cool Logic," you mutter to yourself, using the name you'd given to one of the two dueling voices that had been going at it in your brain for the last couple of months. The dueling voices are as follows -- you have your pre-pregnancy voice providing cool logic, while your hormonal third trimester voice comes crashing in like a wrecking ball.

Cool Logic = Girl please, it's just porn. Not like you caught him balls deep in another woman.

Wrecking Ball = Fuck that! You're huge and chronically uncomfortable since you're carrying HIS child! The least he can do is not be dumb enough to get caught ogling random vag!

"Enough," you mutter, shaking your head and humming a bit to drown out the annoying inner dialogue. You take a deep breath and fight back tears as your mind continues to torture you. What hurts the most is he knows you feel bad about yourself; you've been super honest about it, and he's done nothing but reassure you that he finds you absolutely gorgeous and sexy. "And I stupidly believed him," you mumble.

He hasn't been able to keep his hands -- among other things -- off of you, Cool Logic interjects. Maybe he's telling the truth.

"Shut up!" you snap, more than a little appalled that you're arguing with your damn self. "I'm losing it," you grumble, squeezing your eyes closed as images from the day before flash in your mind

~ ~ flashback to yesterday ~ ~

Joe gets home from the gym just as you're finishing up a light treadmill workout. You hear the garage door open and check your time. "Four minutes left," you grumble before stabbing the 'stop' button. "Close enough." You sit on a weight bench and tug your shoes and socks off, wiggling your toes and grimacing as Joe walks into the room.

"Hey," he chirps, leaning down to give you a quick kiss. "Looking good, mama."

"Looking like the Goodyear blimp," you snort, irrationally aggravated that Joe looks like walking sex, as usual. "If men had to go through pregnancy and childbirth, the human species would've long since gone extinct."

"No doubt about that," he agrees, giving you a playful wink when you narrow your eyes at him. "I think you're sexy as hell," he murmurs, leaning down to give you a more thorough kiss before stepping back.

You really want to call him a liar, but the earnest look on his face stops you cold. You give him a weak smile before heaving a sigh. "I should've got a pedi a couple days ago when I got a bikini wax," you grump, peering at your less than perfect pedicure like it's the worst thing ever. "If I wasn't so huge I'd paint them myself, but here we are," you mutter, gesturing at your pregnant belly.

"Let me do it," he urges giving you a wicked grin when you hit him with an incredulous look. "You know I'm good with my hands," he brags, wiggling his agile fingers and chuckling when you roll your eyes.

"Maybe later," you mumble. "Right now you can put those hands to good use by emptying the dishwasher."

"Yes, ma'am." He gives your ass a playful squeeze as you walk out of the room and head for the stairs. Halfway up you remember another chore that needs to be done. "When you're finished with the dishes can you grab the clean laundry out of the dryer and bring it upstairs? I'll fold it when I get out of the shower."

"You got it, babe," he grins, giving you a thumbs-up before getting to work.

You walk out of the bathroom 25 minutes later, smiling at the array of neatly folded clothes laying on the bed. He grabs a stack of clean towels, handing them to you before reaching for a pile of t-shirts, socks and undies. "Let's put these up then I'll paint your toenails," he offers.

"You don't have to," you mutter, sticking your bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. "I'll just go to brunch tomorrow with a busted pedi. The girls won't judge me."

Joe leans down and sucks your pouty lip into his mouth, nibbling on it for a second before releasing it. "You're not going to brunch with a busted pedi. Put those towels up and grab everything we need to handle business."

"Yes, sir," you say in a sultry tone, giving Joe an innocent smile when he hits you with a loaded look. You place the towels in a cabinet and grab a bottle of nail polish and toe separators. "I don't need full-service," you say, waggling the bottle of nail polish as you walk back in the bedroom. "Just paint over the existing polish and we'll call it good."

Joe gives you a sly grin as you sit on the edge of the bed. "I was kind of hoping you'd want full-service," he winks, voice heavy with innuendo.

"Maybe later, horndog," you giggle, smiling as he sits cross-legged on the floor at your feet. "Wait a sec," you say, "we need something to put over the carpet just in case."

He pulls his black t-shirt off and spreads it on the floor inside out. "This thing is old as hell. I don't care if it gets polish on it."

You let your eyes wander over his bare skin, admiring the way his muscles flex as he scoots closer to you. "Who's the horndog now?" he grins, easily noticing your not-so-subtle ogling.

"Pretty sure it's still you," you chuckle, handing him the toe separators while shaking the polish bottle.

"You know me too well," he sighs, fixing the separators in place before reaching for the bottle. "Put one foot on my leg," he continues, patting his thigh and watching closely as you do as ordered. "What are you wearing under the t-shirt?" he asks, slowly unscrewing the polish while holding your gaze.

You look down at the light purple t-shirt you're wearing -- his shirt -- before answering. "Panties."

He gives you a look before painting a stripe of coral-colored polish onto a big toe. "What kind of panties?"

"Hipster panties."

"What color?"

"You wanna see 'em?"

"Obvs."

You pull the shirt up just enough to expose the tiny, low rise undies.

"Purple tiger stripes," he nods his approval. "Very nice."

"You picked them out," you giggle, dropping the shirt to cover your crotch as he finishes up foot #1.

"I know. I have good taste." He gives you a wink that's more naughty than playful, lifting your foot up to blow on the wet polish, his gaze sliding up the length of your leg as he continues to blow.

"You trying to get another eyeful?" you tease, a pulse of arousal setting off deep inside as his gaze moves from the juncture of your thighs, over the swell of your belly to linger on your breasts. Your nipples harden under his heated gaze, and his sinful lips curl up in a cocky grin.

"Maybe." He slowly licks his lips while setting your foot down and reaching for your other foot. He wraps his hand around your ankle and lifts your foot all the way up to his mouth, planting a kiss on your sensitive sole before giving it a quick lick.

"That tickles!" you gasp, squirming a bit as he does it again. "Joseph, stop!" you laugh, trying and failing to pull your foot out of his strong grasp.

"Take your shirt off," he orders.

"You don't wanna see my huge belly," you grimace.

"Your belly is sexy," he states. "I wanna see it and your gorgeous tits."

"I don't feel very sexy," you pout.

"Your hard nipples say otherwise."

"I mean, yeah, I'm a little turned on, but I don't feel sexy. I feel big as a house."

"You look like a goddess," he purrs, dropping a full-lipped kiss on the inside of your ankle just above where his hand is gripping you. "Ripe and luscious," he continues, kissing his way up the inside of your calf all the way to your knee. "Good enough to eat," he groans, sucking a mouthful of thigh hard enough to leave a love bite.

You swallow hard and try to act unaffected, knowing it'll drive him crazy. "Are you gonna finish painting my nails?" you ask, sounding more breathless than bratty.

"Take your shirt off," he repeats.

"Finish my pedi first."

He shakes his head no and you raise an eyebrow. "What if I don't take it off?" you whisper, liquid heat pooling in your core at the thought of him tickling you into submission.

"I guess I'll have to punish you," he smirks, raising your foot back up to his mouth.

"Don't you dare!" you holler, squealing when he licks a long stripe up the center of your sole. "Okay, damnit!" you wheeze, whipping the shirt off before he can lick your ticklish foot again.

"Good girl," he purrs, his eyes roaming over the swell of your belly several times before resting on your bare breasts. "Are you wet for me?" he asks, sucking on his bottom lip in a way that causes your clit to throb.

"Nope," you lie.

"Oh really?" he scoffs, one jaunty eyebrow arching upward while his hand slides up your inner thigh. "Lemme check," he purrs, giving you a knowing smile when you grab his wrist.

"Wait." You stop his hand just before it reaches your crotch. You look down at his stupidly sexy smirk and are hit with a bit of inspiration. It takes everything you have not to cackle like a supervillain as the plan takes shape in your mind. You clear your throat and give him a pleading look. "Listen," you whisper, biting your lip when he leans closer to hear you better. "I'll do whatever you want, but you have to finish my toes first."

"Okay," he quickly agrees.

"Just to clarify," you state. "You have to finish my pedi no matter what. You can't stop until you're done, got it?"

He narrows his eyes as he searches your face. "What if the house catches on fire?"

"If the damn house catches on fire you can stop. Anything else needs my permission."

"Ohhhh, a power play. I like it." He gives you a nod of approval. "I accept your terms."

"Good." You release his hand and hook your thumbs in the waistband of your panties, wiggling out of them while his eyes avidly follow their downward progress. "It'll be easier to take these off before both sets of toes have wet polish," you murmur, grinning as he takes over, carefully easing the panties off so as not to disturb your freshly-painted toes.

You lean back on your elbows and spread your thighs a bit, fighting the urge to giggle at the look on his face.

"This seems kinda unfair," he mumbles.

You pretend not to hear his complaint as you lift your right foot and place it on his thigh, giving him an innocent smile when he finally drags his gaze from your crotch. "Only five more toes to go," you grin. "That won't take long at all." He grabs the bottle of polish and leans down to get started; you lay flat on your back and slide your right hand down to rest on your upper thigh. "You painting my nails is kinda hot," you breathe, squirming your hips a little as you inch your hand closer to your crotch. "We should do it more often."

"Yep," he croaks, going completely still as you ghost your fingertips over your slit, slowly sliding up to rub your clit. "I can finish your toes later," he states.

"Nope. That goes against the terms of our agreement." You continue to play with yourself while he paints another toe, muttering under his breath the entire time. You can't see a damn thing because of your belly, but you know he's enjoying the view; you bite your lip and slide a finger inside, your core clenching at his low-throated groan. You feel him grab your wrist and give it a tug before sucking your wet finger into his mouth.

"Are you done with the pedi?" you ask.

"Noooo," he moans.

"I don't smell smoke," you tease, "pretty sure the house isn't on fire."

He releases your wrist, grumbling as he quickly snatches the bottle of polish and goes back to work.

You slide your finger back inside your slick heat, pumping slowly before adding a second finger. A few heartbeats later you feel his tongue on your clit.

"Did you finish . . ."

"Yes!" he growls against your sensitive flesh, sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine.

"I hate that I can't see you because of my belly," you gripe.

"Can you feel me," he asks, giving your clit a loud suck while sliding two fingers inside.

"Y … yeah," you whimper, gasping when he curls his fingers to hit your sweet spot. Just a few minutes later you're already falling over the edge, moaning his name as he continues to pleasure you through your climax.

After you catch your breath, you hold both hands out toward Joe. "Help me sit up, please," you ask. Once you're upright, you look down at him on the ground between your thighs, his lips glistening with your essence. "Are you hard?" you whisper, smiling when he gives you a 'girl please' look before he stands up and shoves his slinky shorts and underwear down to mid-thigh; his cock springs free and you wrap a hand around it, giving a couple of slow pumps before locking eyes with him. You run your tongue up a prominent vein before gently lapping up the precum on his tip. "No time for teasing, baby, I'm too close," he groans, looking down at you through those long eyelashes as you get down to business.

The next few minutes you work him in all the ways you know he loves, relishing in his grunts and moans of approval as you take him deep, tears sliding down your cheeks as you choke on his thick cock. "Shit, baby, I'm close," he warns, reaching a long arm out to steady himself against the bed as his climax hits; you continue to work him through his climax, smacking your lips when he collapses on the bed beside you.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing he gives you a sheepish smile. "I'm gonna need to redo those last two toes," he admits.

You look down at your right foot, mouth dropping open at the absolute mess. "What the hell?" you laugh, shaking your head while giving Joe a bemused look.

"Sorry," he chuckles. "I had a hard time concentrating since you were putting on quite a show."

"That was the point."

"I know. You won."

"What's my prize?" you ask cheekily.

"I'm gonna make you cum again," he states matter-of-factly. "That last one was way too quick."

You watch as he hops off the bed and heads into the bathroom, your pulse rate picking up in anticipation. He strides back into the bedroom and drops to his knees between your thighs. He holds a hand mirror out and you take it. "Lay back," he orders.

"What's this for?" you ask, waggling the mirror while doing his bidding.

"So you can watch," he purrs, giving you a feral smile before lowering his head

~ ~ end of flashback ~ ~

What seemed so hot in that moment is now something you wish you could forget. You stare at the ceiling, cringing in embarrassment at the thought of him seeing you like that.

Right? Wrecking Ball quips. Surprised he could get it up with that gigantic belly staring him in the face. You squeeze your eyes closed as a tear slides down your cheek. Don't listen to that nonsense, Cool Logic snipes. He had no problem getting it up. Hell, he damn near came before you got it in your mouth! Not to mention he went back for seconds!

"Maybe if I ignore the voices they'll go away," you mumble, rolling onto your side to get more comfortable; you grab a pillow and pull it toward you, the faint scent causing your stomach to lurch. It was Joe's scent -- clean and a little musky -- basically your fav scent in the entire world until right this second. You push the pillow away as hot tears stream down your cheeks. What feels like an eternity later you finally drift off to sleep.

A couple hours later you jolt awake, wondering what woke you up for a second before you realize it's your phone; you grab it and check the display -- Joe's mom is calling. You take a deep breath and answer the call. "Hey Robin," you croak.

"Hey sweetie. How are you doing?"

"Okay."

"Good. Listen, Joe told us what happened. We totally understand why you need some space from him for a bit."

"What did he tell you?"

"He said you came home a little early from your brunch and caught him looking at some gross porn. He had an excuse for it but I told him none of that matters."

"I can't believe he told you the truth."

"Well, he feels horrible as he should. How are you?"

You heave a sigh before answering. "I bounce back and forth between being mad as hell and feeling like i overreacted. He didn't mean to hurt me, so I know I should just let it go."

"You didn't overreact," Robin states. "Listen, if you accidentally step on someone's foot, it doesn't hurt any less just because you didn't mean to do it. Same principle here. He didn't mean to hurt you but he did. You're having to deal with negative emotions at a really vulnerable time because of something he did. Don't rush yourself to forgive and forget before you're ready."

"Thank you," you sniff, fighting the urge to cry.

"You're welcome. Joe said your mom is flying in tonight so I know you'll get plenty of love and validation from her. Just know that Jimmy and I are also on your side. Joe is our baby, but we hold him accountable when he does dumb things."

"Thank you," you repeat, hurrying to get off the phone before you break down in tears.

You ease out of bed and head downstairs, pacing around for what seems like ages until your mom pulls into the driveway; you hit the garage door opener so she can pull in, immediately breaking down in sobs when she hops out of her rental car and rushes toward you.

"It's okay," she soothes, holding you tight and rocking back and forth while you sniffle and snort.

"I'm being dumb," you croak.

"No you're not," she states. "You're being human."

You lean back and give her a weak smile. "A dumb human," you laugh, smiling as she grabs her bag and ushers you into the house.

~ ~ Saturday ~ ~

You lie in bed most of the day, switching back and forth between feeling like you overreacted and feeling like you never want Joe to touch you again.

Your mom was great, as expected. Giving you space to sulk while also plying you with yummy food she knew you couldn't resist.

~ ~ Sunday ~ ~

You've been lying in bed all day again, fully embracing the pity-party vibe when your mom strolls into your room just before dinner time. She sits on the edge of your bed and gives you an enigmatic look. "You ready to talk to him?" she asks, giving you a sympathetic smile when you make a stank face. "Listen," she continues, "let me call him. I'll put him on speaker. Maybe hearing his voice will make you want to talk to him. Or not," she shrugs.

You consider it for a minute before responding. "Okay," you sigh, sitting up while she calls him. The sound of his voice hits you like an electric shock; after regaining your composure you shake your head and tune back in to the conversation.

"I'm doing okay, I guess," Joe says. "How's y/n?"

"She's doing … okay," your mom mutters. "I think she's feeling a little better."

Joe heaves a sigh before speaking. "I can't believe I messed things up so bad. The entire pregnancy has been this magical time for us and I screwed it up by being stupid! I ruined everything and now she hates me," he grits out, self-loathing dripping from every word.

"I don't hate you," you state, a little disconcerted at the strangled noise he makes. Your mom hands you the phone and walks out of the room to give you some privacy. "You were on speaker," you continue. "I should have warned …"

"It's okay," he blurts. "You're not mad at me anymore?"

You take a deep breath. "My feelings are still hurt, but I'm not mad. I guess that's a step in the right direction."

"Yeah." The silence stretches out for a minute before he breaks it. "I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings."

"I know. -- If you want to come to the doctor with me tomorrow, you need to be home by 9:15 a.m."

"Thank you," he murmurs. "Can I come home tonight?" he asks. "It's fine if you say no. I don't mean to be pushy."

"It's kind of late."

"I can't sleep anyway. If I leave now I'll be home around 10:00. You don't have to wait up for me."

"I can't sleep either," you sigh. "Listen, I'm not ready for you to touch me or see me naked."

There's several beats of silence before he responds. "I understand."

"Good. Be careful, okay? Don't speed."

"Okay. See you in a couple hours."

You end the call and walk downstairs, sitting on the sofa beside your mom. "He's coming home tonight. He'll be here by 10:00."

"Is he taking you to the doctor tomorrow?"

"Yeah." You rub your belly as you continue. "This is his baby, too. He deserves to be there when we get the news. 99% chance we'll be scheduling a C-section."

"Probably," your mom agrees, "but everything's gonna be fine," she soothes. "You're young, healthy and you have a great doctor." You nod your head then frown as she mentions booking herself a flight back to Dallas.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. I'll need to head to the airport around 8:30 if I book the early flight. Is that okay?"

"Yeah." You give her a sheepish smile. "Sorry you had to come babysit me for a few days since I threw a hissy fit."

"You had every right to those feelings. Don't feel a bit bad about it."

After eating dinner and watching TV together for a while, your mom heads off to bed and you go upstairs to take a shower. Once you towel yourself dry you study your reflection in the mirror, wishing you could hit rewind and go back to the loving, teasing vibe you had with Joe before the shit hit the fan.

He was absolutely right when he said the whole pregnancy had been a magical time for y'all. You were both pleasantly surprised when your high libido didn't dip at all, but the further along you got, the more self-conscious you got over your growing belly. Joe hadn't seemed to lose any attraction at all which did wonders for your self-confidence.

But now you know he was lying, Wrecking Ball sneers. His ass doesn't deserve to see you naked again until you're completely comfortable with it. Baby boy might be eating solid food by then.

He wasn't lying! Cool Logic argues. That porn he searched for is the exact same thing you did to get him worked up.

"I'm truly losing my shit," you mutter, pulling on a pair of boyshorts and a voluminous maternity tee before walking into the bedroom; you sit in the rocking chair Joe bought for you, looking around at the makeshift nursery y'all had set up in the sitting area of your oversized bedroom: a crib, changing table, diaper genie, small dresser & rocking chair. Jace will eventually have his own room just down the hall, but you and Joe couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in a completely different room away from your baby boy for the first few months.

After a few more minutes just rocking and trying to clear your mind, you hear the faint mechanical hum of the automatic garage door opener signaling the arrival of Joe. A few minutes after that he sticks his head in the bedroom door, smiling when he sees you in the rocking chair. "Hey," he whispers, hovering in the doorway.

"Hey. Come in," you beckon, your heart hurting when you take in the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. You know you don't look any better.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

"Remember that gigantic prize-winning watermelon at the county fair last summer? I feel like I swallowed it."

"That bad, huh?"

"Pretty bad. -- How was your drive? You made good time."

"Traffic was light."

"And you were speeding."

"Maybe a little," he shrugs, giving you a tired grin as he walks toward you and drops to the floor at your feet, sitting cross-legged. He clears his throat and lifts his gaze to yours. "Remember when we first met?"

The question catches you off guard. "Yeah," you answer, trying to read his expression.

"I thought you'd never agree to go out with me," he mutters, "but then you finally did and we've been inseparable ever since."

You're still not sure where he's going with this, so you just smile as your mind wanders back to your sophomore year at LSU.

There had been a buzz on campus about the new transfer QB from Ohio State; one of your good friends was a cheerleader so you'd been to several parties where Joe was present. You'd avoided him like the plague since you figured he was a raging fuck boy. He was persistent as hell, you had to give him that. You shot him down at least a dozen times before you finally agreed to go get ice cream with him. The rest was history.

Joe clearing his throat pulls you back into the moment. He takes a deep breath before speaking. "I, ummm, I've been wondering if you wish you had more … experiences before we got together."

"Experiences?" you echo, furrowing your brow while he looks distinctly uncomfortable. "What do you mean?"

He chews on his bottom lip and runs a hand through his unruly curls. "I'm your first and only lover. Maybe you wonder what it would be like with another man."

You stare at him for several seconds before responding. "What have you been smoking?" you chuckle. "I know you're not serious." You shake your head in disbelief while he fidgets with his thumbnail, the look on his face telling you he's dead serious. "Where did this come from?" you ask.

He mumbles something under his breath while staring at the floor.

"I didn't catch that."

He heaves a sigh and repeats himself loud enough for you to hear. "It's just … that video dude got me thinking you might want another man."

"Video dude?"

"You know," he mumbles, mimicking jacking off.

"You've got to be kidding," you mutter, shaking your head when he gives a shrug. "Let me get this straight. You think I'm thirsting for random dick because I pulled a petty stunt to give you a little taste of your own medicine?"

"Something like that."

"I turned that video off the second you walked out the door," you admit. He shrugs again and continues to stare at the floor. "Look at me, please." You wait for him to comply before continuing. "I don't want another man. Not now. Not ever. Okay?"

"Guess I shouldn't have spent the entire week-end worrying about it," he grumbles.

"Guess not," you state. "So should I be worried that you want other women?"

"Of course not," he scoffs, looking completely offended at the question.

"I mean, this whole thing started because I caught you …"

"I was trying to find someone who looks like you," he butts in. "I know you don't believe me, but that's the absolute truth."

"Let's leave that in the past," you mutter. "But since you brought up being my first, I have to admit I've always been a little insecure about it. Can't help but wonder if I'm as good as other girls you've been with who were more experienced."

"You're by far the best. If it was any better I'd have a stroke." You chew on your lip as he continues. "There's literally no way the sex could get any better. We're made for each other." He scoots closer and locks eyes with you, his expression as passionate as his words. "We're compatible on every single wavelength: mentally, emotionally, intellectually, physically, chemically. I always thought the whole pheromone thing was total bullshit until I met you."

You give him a smile as he plows ahead, heartfelt words spilling from his pretty lips.

"You've been the one consistently amazing thing in my life, always there for me at my highest of highs and lowest of lows. I love you more than anything, but I don't think I've done a very good job of showing it. I hope you'll give me another chance to prove it."

You can tell that last part was completely rehearsed, but somehow that makes it sweeter. "You've done a good job of showing it, Joe. This one setback doesn't erase all of that. I just need a little more time to get over it. As long as you don't try to rush me we'll be fine."

"I'll do whatever you want."

"Right now I want to get some rest." You ease out of the rocking chair and head for the bed, sliding between the cool, clean sheets while he watches, clearly not sure what to do. "You can sleep with me, but I don't want to be touched," you state, pretending not to notice the disappointment on his face. "Okay," he sighs, obviously dying to say something else but biting his lip before walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth and undress. He eventually comes out and clicks off the bedside lamp before crawling into bed. "Goodnight," he whispers. "Night," you answer,

You wake up the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking. Mom's up early, you think, stretching before turning to look at Joe; his side of the bed is empty and you laugh to yourself. "Nothing gets that man out of bed faster than the smell of yummy food cooking."

You pee, wash your face and put your long, wavy hair in a high ponytail before making your way downstairs, surprised to see Joe standing at the stove. "Smells good," you sigh, smiling when he throws you a quick look over his shoulder as you slide onto a barstool.

"Scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and multi-grain toast," he says, dishing food onto a plate and setting it in front of you. He quickly grabs the raspberry jam out of the fridge, giving you a smile as he sets it down. "Thank you. All of my favs," you say, returning his smile while you slather jam on your toast. He watches you tuck into the hearty breakfast, his gaze going a bit feral as you suck a dab of jam off of a finger. You both freeze in that moment, neither of you breathing for a second until the spell is broken by your mom walking into the kitchen.

The rest of the morning flashes by in a blur. Your mom has a quick breakfast before heading to the airport; you and Joe finish breakfast and get dressed before heading to your doctor appointment.

A couple hours later y'all are heading back home from the doctor; as Joe pulls out of the parking lot he instinctively reaches a hand over to rest on your leg, catching himself just before he makes contact. He awkwardly rests his hand on the center console instead, his eyes going wide when you grab his hand and place it on your thigh, smiling at him when he shoots you a quick look.

Once y'all arrive home, you're both subdued by the news you received. You can tell Joe is trying to think of something soothing to say when his phone chirps; he makes a face when he reads the text.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he shrugs. "Sam wants me to go workout with him."

"Do it!" you urge.

"You trying to get rid of me?" he grumbles.

"No. I just think you'll feel better if you go. Plus I have a few phone calls to make."

"I don't wanna leave you alone."

"I'll be fine," you soothe. "If anything happens I'll call 911. They'll be here in less than 5 minutes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go break a sweat. You'll feel better."

Once Joe leaves you make several phone calls to family and a few close friends to give them the news; the only person you can't reach is your best friend so you leave her a message. She calls a little while later when you're finishing up a few chores. You slide onto a barstool at the kitchen counter and accept the call.

"Hey girl," you greet.

"Hey! What did the doc say?"

"C-section."

"I guess we kind of expected that. You know, I think I'd rather have a C-section than a vaginal birth so this seems like a good thing to me."

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better."

"I'm dead serious, girl. I don't love the idea of pushing something the size of a Christmas ham out of my cooch! And you know lil man is gonna have a huge head just like his daddy."

You laugh at her serious tone. "He is big. They estimate he'll be close to 9 pounds."

"Lawd, makes my vag cringe just thinking about it. Remind me to never make babies with a big boy."

"Making babies with a big boy is definitely something I recommend."

"Really?"

"For sure. A damn-near 9 pound baby doesn't seem so bad when you're getting damn-near 9 inches from daddy anytime you want it." You almost drop your phone when Joe clears his throat behind you as your bestie cackles at your dirty advice. You spin your barstool around and lock eyes with him. "Speak of the devil," you murmur. "Listen girl, I gotta run. Call you back later."

"Hey," Joe says, trying and failing not to look smug as fuck.

"Hey Mr. Nosy. You gonna make a habit of eavesdropping?"

"No, ma'am." He smiles as he walks toward you with that long-legged, loose-hipped stride that always makes your knees weak. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I figured you heard me come in."

"Well, I obviously didn't," you snark, trying hard to keep a stern look on your face.

"Obvs," he mutters, laughing when you narrow your eyes at him. "Sorry," he coughs, handing you a gift bag. "I picked up a few things I thought you might like. I know you haven't felt like shopping since …"

You bite your lip as his voice trails off, waiting for the pang of sadness to hit when thinking about that awful day; you feel a flood of relief when the pang doesn't rear its ugly head.

"Thanks," you smile, taking in Joe's deer-in-the-headlights look for a second before reaching into the gift bag. You hear him exhale as you pull the tissue paper out. Over the next few minutes you pull out a ridiculous amount of Bengals and LSU baby gear: several onesies, booties, blankets, bibs, and other baby goodies. "How did you get these?" you ask. "Most of them have been back-ordered forever."

"I pulled some strings."

"Thank you. I love all of it," you gush, struggling a little to slide off the barstool before he steps forward and grabs you by the hips, easing you to the ground as if you're light as a feather. You link your arms around his waist and give him as tight of a hug as your belly will allow, feeling a different kind of pang when he buries his nose in your hair and takes a deep breath, his big hands sliding up and down your back like he hasn't touched you in ages. You get a little flustered at his touch and step back. "I … ummm … I think I'm gonna go take a nap," you blurt out, your pulse picking up at the way his gaze drops down to your lips and lingers there while you speak, like he's considering kissing you but scared of your reaction.

"Sounds good," he murmurs, dragging his gaze from your lips to your eyes. "I'm just gonna crash on the sofa and watch TV."

"Cool," you say, hurrying to the stairs, wondering if you'll ever feel 100% comfortable around him again.

After tossing and turning in bed for about 45 minutes, you finally give up on getting a nap and make your way back downstairs; you hear Joe talking on the phone as you walk toward the living room. "I'm nervous, but I can't let it show," he says. "I've gotta be strong for her. -- I know the risks are lower because the C-section is planned, but it's still scary as hell. I don't know what I'd do if something bad happened. I can't live without her."

That last sentence brings tears to your eyes and you sniffle a bit as they start falling. Joe's head immediately pops up over the back of the sofa. "Gotta go, Mom. Call you back later." He ends the call as you walk into the living room. "How long were you standing there?" he asks. "Long enough," you whisper, wiping tears off of your cheeks as you take in the glorious sight of him sprawled out, shirtless with tousled curls, long legs stretching the entire length of the oversized sofa. "I can't live without you either," you sniff.

"Come here," he urges, patting his bare chest. You crawl between his spread thighs and turn onto your side a bit, laying your belly against him.

"This is the most comfortable I've been in ages," you sigh, eyes fluttering closed as his long fingers massage the back of your neck.

"Good. Get some sleep," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

"I feel like I'm crushing you."

"Woman, I bench press way fucking more than your trifling weight. You couldn't crush me if you tried."

You laugh at his cocky tone. "Okay," you yawn, snuggling your face against his bare chest, lulled by his familiar scent as you drift off to sleep.

Later that night, after dinner and a few episodes of Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, you wake up in bed hot and sweaty. You throw the covers off and lie there for another few minutes before easing out of bed to head for the bathroom. You strip your shirt off and run a cool, damp washcloth over your neck, chest and belly, sighing in relief as the cool cloth caresses your heated skin.

When you're done, you think about returning to bed without a shirt, but you're too self-conscious. You heave a defeated sigh as you walk into the closet for a clean t-shirt, immediately reaching for one of Joe's; a small smile graces your lips as you pull the shirt on. Just a couple days ago the thought of his shirts touching you made you lose your mind. Today it feels totally normal, totally right. It's a small victory but you'll take it.

When you walk back into the bedroom Joe hands you a glass of cold water. "Thanks," you sigh, gulping half of it down before setting it on the bedside table. "You'll be cooler without the t-shirt," he says, his expression heavy with concern as you look up at him in the amber glow of the hallway light. "I'm still not really comfortable with you seeing me like that," you mumble, feeling a little silly. "Stay right here," he says, rushing to turn off the hallway light before turning on a much dimmer bathroom light; he pulls the bathroom door almost all the way closed before walking up to you in the near-total darkness.

"Better?" he asks. "Yeah," you answer, lifting your arms up as he grabs the hem of your shirt and gently pulls it over your head; he then picks you up bridal-style and lays you on the bed. "You want any covers?" he asks. "Just the sheet please," you reply, holding your breath until he slides back into bed beside you. "You good?" he asks. "Yeah," you whisper, feeling weirdly exposed as you try to get comfortable, the silky sheets rubbing against your sensitive nipples in a way that makes your core react. Simmer down, you think to yourself, tossing and turning, restless as hell due to equal parts anxiety and arousal.

After several minutes, Joe wraps an arm around you. "I know you're scared, baby. Wish I could fix it for you," he whispers, pulling you close, your back against his chest.

You squirm in his embrace a little. "I'm def scared but I'm also …"

"Also what?"

"Super horny," you mumble into your pillow.

"Oh." He gives a surprised chuckle. "Well I can fix that," he boasts, pressing a kiss on your bare shoulder before pushing your hair aside to gently blow on the back of your neck. "Let me help," he urges. You hesitate for a bit. "Please?" he whispers.

You eventually roll onto your back, sighing as he gently ghosts his fingertips over your sensitive nipples while kissing your neck. He avoids your belly as he slides a hand down to your crotch, teasing you through your panties for a bit before slipping his fingers inside.

Damn, he's so good with his hands, you think, your breath catching in your throat as he hits your sweet spot, quickly sending you over the edge while he whispers dirty encouragement in your ear.

A few heartbeats later, you finally catch your breath. "Your turn," you whisper.

"You just need to rest, don't worry about me."

You're entire body goes cold. "You're not attracted to me," you state matter-of-factly. "I knew it."

Joe doesn't say a word, just reaches out for your hand and places it on his raging erection. "Oh," you whisper. "Let me help you with that," you offer, gasping when he wraps his big hand around your much smaller one, pumping for a few slow, steady strokes before picking up the pace, his hips snapping up into the strokes for a few minutes before he falls over the edge.

You listen to him catch his breath for a bit before speaking. "I feel sweaty and sticky," you whisper. "I'm going to take a shower." You wait a few seconds before continuing. "You wanna join me?"

"Yes," he immediately answers. "But …"

"But what?" you ask, trying to make out his expression in the semi-darkness.

"We'll have to have more light than this. It's too dangerous to shower in the dark in case you slip. If you don't want me to join …"

"I want you," you interrupt, easing out of bed.

"Are you sure?" he asks, blinking in surprise when you turn on the bedside lamp. His eyes travel from your face to your breasts then down over the swell of your belly before slowing reversing course. When he locks eyes with you again you can tell he's holding back tears, his plump bottom lip quivering in a way that tugs at your heartstrings.

"Come on, daddy," you whisper, holding a hand out to him. He leaps off the bed and takes a step toward you; when he puts his hand in yours you feel something bloom deep inside you, something much more powerful and primal then mere arousal. He leans down and nuzzles his face against your neck just as his tears start falling. You use your free hand to stroke his back soothingly, your own tears streaming down your face for a bit before he leans back and locks eyes with you.

"I love you more than anything," he sniffs, kissing the tears off of your cheeks. "I love you too" you whisper, cupping a hand around the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss, breathing a sigh of relief into his mouth when the happy tears spilling down your cheeks mingle with his own happy tears in a way that feels cathartic.

The next several days leading up to your C-section are spent almost exclusively together, with Joe working out in your home gym instead of going to Black Sheep or the Bengals facility. Y'all share baths and showers, with Joe insisting on rubbing moisturizer on your belly several times a day hoping to feel Jace kick, his face lighting up every time it happens; after one particularly hard kick, Joe can't contain his excitement. "Gah-lee!" he chuckles. "What a kick! He's definitely gonna train MMA."

"He's most definitely not!" you snap, smiling to soften your words.

The night before your surgery Joe never lets you get more than arm's length away from him, giving you gentle touches on your hips, belly, the small of your back, all while doing an amazing job of playing host to both sets of parents who are spending the night with y'all in anticipation of baby boy's arrival tomorrow.

A few hours after dinner, with both sets of parents tucked into their guest rooms for the night, you and Joe are lying in bed wide awake.

"You're scared aren't you?" you whisper, staring at the ceiling while Joe tosses and turns.

"Is it that obvious?" he asks, rolling onto his side so he can look down at you.

"Yeah." You give him a reassuring smile before tweaking a curl that's fallen onto his forehead. "Fear isn't a normal emotion for you, so it's a little obvious."

"I probably shouldn't admit this," he mutters, "but I've never been this scared." He leans down and gives you a quick kiss before continuing. "When my knee got blown out and we didn't know if I'd ever play football again, I wasn't even remotely this scared. You know why?" he asks.

"Why?"

"Because I can live without football, but I can't live without you."

You feel your entire world condense down to this moment with this man. "I love you more than anything," you breathe, repeating the words he's said to you so many times recently. "And I'm gonna be just fine," you continue, cradling his head when he nuzzles his face against your neck. "Are you excited to meet our baby boy tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he sniffs, fighting back tears. "Excited to bring both of you home and spoil you rotten."

"I'm gonna remind you of that in a few weeks," you tease.

"No need for reminders," he chuckles, giving you another kiss before snuggling you in his embrace.

~ ~ 9 weeks later ~ ~

You rock gently in the rocking chair, staring down at your baby boy who is happily nursing without a care in the world. You close your eyes and let your mind wander back over the past several weeks:

The first few weeks postpartum you and Joe had been dead tired from tending to the constant needs of a newborn. Thankfully it was the off-season since Joe insisted on getting up with you for late-night feedings, which meant neither one of you got good sleep. He was completely enthralled watching Jace breastfeed, and y'all got in the habit of Joe doing skin-to-skin with Jace after each feeding.

Joe handled being a dad with the same mindset he handled everything else in his life -- 100% effort, even on the not-so-fun parts like changing stinky diapers. You thought it was impossible to be more in love with him, but watching him with his baby boy had given you a deeper appreciation and love for him.

Once Jace settled into a more predictable routine, you and Joe had a little more time to be partners and not just parents. You shared a nice amount of non-sexual intimacy during this time -- shared baths/showers, massages, naps and plenty of cuddling. It took a while before you convinced Joe to let you get him off; he thought it was selfish for him to get his needs met since you didn't want him to reciprocate just yet. You promised he could make it up to you when you were fully healed.

Over the last week y'all had eased back into PIV sex, with Joe being super careful -- almost too careful -- with you.

You have other ideas for tonight. You smile as you think about the evening ahead. Gonna put that man on his back and take over, you think to yourself, a swarm of butterflies taking flight in your stomach when you hear the faint sound of the garage door opening.

"Daddy's home," you croon, staring down into Jace's aquamarine eyes as he continues to nurse. He's the spitting image of Joe: a head full of wavy blonde hair, big blue-green eyes, Cupid's bow lips and long legs.

As you wait for Joe to come upstairs, your attention is captured by the shiny bracelet on your wrist. Joe had given you a tennis bracelet with all 3 birthstones on it -- yours, Joe's and Jace's -- alternating with diamonds. You wiggle your wrist a bit, watching the gems glint in the light of the late-afternoon sun streaming in the window.

Joe walks into the room, his face lighting up when he sees you nursing Jace. He approaches quickly, looking down at you for a minute before speaking. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he sighs.

"Yep," you agree. "He's gonna be a total stud just like his daddy."

"I was talking about you," Joe murmurs, leaning down to kiss you. "But yeah, he's a total cutie too," Joe croons, kissing Jace's forehead before standing back up.

"Your turn," you say as Jace finishes nursing, smiling when Joe whips his t-shirt off before reaching for the baby. You switch places, with Joe sitting in the rocking chair cradling Jace against his bare chest and you standing over them. The look on your face prompts Joe to ask you a question.

"What are you thinking?"

"That I've never been happier than I am right now," you whisper, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on Joe's lips.

"Oh you just wait!" he says, smiling ear to ear. "From this day forward, I'm gonna make sure every. single. day. you spend with me is happier than the next."

"Yeah? That sounds like a pretty big task."

"I never back down from a challenge," he brags, giving you a playful wink as you turn and head for the shower, his gaze raking over your curves and his pulse picking up at the hint of promise in your throaty laughter.

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fanfic #joe burrow imagine

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Cruel Summer | Chapter III: Clean

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 6.6k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, some Spider x Reader, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: You and Neteyam learn to navigate life without the other.

A/N: Hey besties, I’m sorry that this took so long, but I’ve honestly been struggling a little on this website, and it’s taken quite the toll on me. It’s been a weird week(?), in which although I’ve never received more followers and more notes etc., I’ve also never felt more alone, and more disconnected from the platform and the people in it. I think you will be able to tell in the chapter as well. When I was posting the Cardigan series, although I had a lot less followers, I felt like people genuinely enjoyed/connected to the story, and I just don’t really feel that way anymore, and I think I’m still learning to deal with it. Anyway, personal issues aside, I really hope you enjoy this chapter! I think it’s only going to be another couple chapters in this story. I might however make an alternate ending to it? I’ve also had some inspiration for Midnight Rain Part II, and thank you so much for being patient with me with that story, it took me a while to understand what I wanted to do with it, as I wasn’t planning on it having a second part initially. Ramble over, I promise.

enjoy besties ily xoxo

: ̗̀➛ listen to Clean here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

It was months and months of back and forth

You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

“Come on… open the door, please?”

Lo’ak’s voice was pleading and saddened, and so were Kiri’s soft sobs, but you pretended you couldn’t hear them, not their tone nor their words, because hearing them meant acknowledging it and you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge them, or the previous few that tried. Not Jake, not Norm, not Neteyam. Definitely not Neteyam. You couldn’t open that door, because if you did, you would crumble at their feet, you would beg and scream and thrash, and you didn’t want to do any of those things. The anger you felt for all of them, each and every one of them was strong enough to drown any other emotion, any emotion other than overwhelming hurt and anguish that was threatening to tear you apart with each passing moment that these people were standing outside your door, every moment that passed in which they were still leaving, still leaving you behind, leaving you alone.

You were all alone. No matter how many years you have spent by their side, no matter how much Jake promised you were as much their kid as the rest of them, no matter how many hours and days and months and years you have spent stuck to Neteyam like glue, it was all in vain. It was all fake. You would never be a part of their family. All these years, you were just a family pet, that they would pass on to the next owners when the situation called for it. This thought was fuel enough for a new set of wailed cries that you tried to muffle with a hand over your mouth. It took a while, but eventually, they left you to your own devices, left you to deal with the mess they made, a mess you’ll never forgive them for. Never forgive him for.

At the dawn of a new day, the dreaded day, a new knock, more timid and timed bellowed, and the sound rang painfully in your ears.

“Kid… they’re leaving. They really want to say goodbye to you… they all do. Tuk is crying, she’s saying you’re mad at her. Just… just please come out, honey, ok?”

Tuk…

“Tuk can come in. But that’s it.” You hoped Norm couldn’t make out how hoarse and broken your voice sounded, and hope he couldn’t tell that you cried so much in one night that you blacked out from dehydration, only to be woken up by his announcement.Sure enough, a few minutes later, Tuk came in through the door you just unlocked. You tried to wash your face and look a little more presentable, but as you took one swift look in the mirror, you knew it was pointless. You just prayed Tuk wouldn’t notice.

“Come in, baby.” She ran into your arms and fastened her arms around your neck, and you were always shocked at how she was just as tall as you, and somehow even stronger.

“Sister! I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to say goodbye.” She was crying, you realised, as her hot tears spilled down your back, getting absorbed in your cotton top.

“Of course you would, baby. I am so sorry. I’m so sad that you’re going, so I needed some time, but I would never let you leave without telling you how much I’ll miss you, and that I love you so, so much. You’re the best little sister anyone could have ever asked for.” Her high-pitched cries tugged at your heart painfully, but you knew you had to be strong for her. She didn’t deserve any of it, any pain or hurt, anything other than pure bliss.

“I love you, too! I want you to come with. Why can’t you come with?”

You tried to ignore the way your entire body felt like it was being put through the meat grinder, and just focused on her, on her tears and her soft little hair that you caressed gently, and the way her head fit so well in the crook of your neck.

“Because I’m human, baby. And where you are going, they wouldn’t like me. I wouldn’t fit in. But baby, look at me.” You brushed the unruly braids out of her face and her tears from her cheeks, giving her the biggest smile you could muster. “This isn’t goodbye forever. I will see you again soon, and I can’t wait to hear all the adventures you’ve had and all the memories you’ve made. I’m so proud of you, you know? One day, you’ll outgrow me, and I’ll get to watch you be the most amazing warrior ever, just like your mummy is. And I’ll still be your biggest cheerleader, and I’ll watch from the bleachers, like in the movies, do you remember?”

She nods half-heartedly, but her face lights up a little, and you think the worst is over.

“Come, I’m sure everyone’s waiting. I will miss you, sweet girl. Be safe.”

You kissed her forehead and both of her cheeks, and with one last hug, she left.

They left. He left.

Hung my head as I lost the war

And the sky turned black like a perfect storm

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

“How does it feel?” Neteyam watched as you eyed his queue, that was leisurely hung over his shoulder, a glimmer of curiosity in your eyes. He’s noticed you doing that for a while now, and when you were kids, he’s let you touch it once or twice, but it’s been years now, and the situation was no longer applicable. You were no longer just a friend, not quite a mate, somewhere in between, something undefined and awkward, something you didn’t talk about unless absolutely necessary.

“How does what feel, Vol?”

“The Tsaheylu. Connecting to another animal, another Na’vi. How does it feel?”

“I thought you knew about from all your little books.” You rolled your eyes and huffed annoyedly.

“Yes, I do. I know the theory. I know you use it to connect to other beings, to Eywa, I know you can feel each other’s emotions. I know all of that. But how does it feel?”

Neteyam thought about it for a long time. How was he supposed to describe something that was so natural and so quintessential to his life, to his existence, to someone who would never be able to experience for themselves?

“Do you know how sometimes we look at each other and we kind of just have a whole conversation just with one look? Because we know each other so well now, that words are not really necessary? Vol… I know everything you think, and everything you feel. I know you so deep in my soul, it’s hard to separate my own feelings from yours, my own thoughts. You’ve become so essential to my being, it’s like you are a constant part of me.”

He suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed at the confession, and felt like he overshared something that may have been better left unsaid.

“I mean, I-“

“I know what you mean.”

You sighed and got closer to him, and you moved until you were in his lap, in your own little bubble of safety and comfort. It was your favourite place in the world, you once told him.

“I know what you mean too well. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where I stop and you start.”

He felt relieved at your words, relieved to know you understood and felt the same. That you got him.

“Well, there you go. That’s kinda how it feels like.”

“But, how does it feel like? When you mate with someone, does it amplify the sensations, does it… make it better? Make it so you never want someone else ever again?”

The saddened, desolate tone of your voice told Neteyam that you were moving into uncharted territory, that this conversation was taking a turn neither of you were ready or skilled enough to navigate safely. He didn’t know what was the right way to answer something like that. Because the truth was that yes, from his understanding, it did make it better. It made it more intense, more special, it made it everything. There was a reason Na’vi had sex with however many people they wanted, but only bonded with one. It was the bond that separated a sexual experience from a mating experience, from something you would only ever wanted to experience with just one special someone. But he couldn’t say that to you. Not when you didn’t have this ability and never will, not when he knew how much you wanted it, not when there was nothing neither of you could do about it. So he considered a different approach.

“Do you want to touch it?”

Neteyam’s never allowed anyone near his queue before. No Na’vi would. The kuru was for themselves, for their mates and for their mothers as infants. It was the most sensitive and intimate part of them, and so naturally, Neteyam was a little uneasy and nervous. But he trusted you. He loved you. He was in love with you, and would have given anything to mate with you, but maybe this will be enough.

He laughed softly at the way your eyes widened in shock. You understood the implication of what he was asking you, and that scared you both. But still, almost bashfully, you nodded, a soft warm loving smile taking over your features. You softly reached for it and brushed your hands over the length that was draped over his shoulder, a touch so soft, so minuscule that it was barely there, but Neteyam’s whole body shuddered, goosebumps instantly appearing throughout his whole body. You quickly removed your hand, and looked guilty as you spoke.

“I’m sorry. This was probably a bad ide-“

“Hey, stop.”

Neteyam couldn’t help his fingers as they reached out and stroked you face and jaw, making their way down your throat and collarbone. He smirked a little when you shivered under his touch.

“See? Did that feel bad?”

You smiled and shook your head gently.

“It doesn’t feel bad. It’s just… new. But I want you to do it, Vol. I want you to do it.”

A little unnerved, you resumed your inspection of his braid, grabbing at as gently as you could and bringing it up to eye level.

“The hair here is softer.” You mused, almost to yourself. “I love that.”

Slowly, you moved downstream, until eventually, you reached its end, and gasped slowly as the pink tendrils came into view, moving a lot more erratically and enthusiastically than they normally did.

“Why are they doing that?”

“Because of you, Vol.” he said through panted breaths. He was experiencing a range and intensity of emotions he never had before, never in his life. The things you were doing to him, that only you ever did to him, the feelings you evoked in his mind and body, were now intensified a thousand fold, and he was crumbling under their weight.

“It’s doing that because my body feels you. Feels what you’re doing, knows who you are.” He hesitated before speaking, but he needed to get it out, he had to get it out. “It’s doing that because it knows I’m close to someone it… it wants to mate with.”

You removed your hand from him almost like his queue burned you. Your face contorted in a frown and you were struggling to push tears back in your eyes.

“Oh. Well, unfortunately, that’s never going to be able to happen, so…” You removed yourself from his lap and started turning your back to him, but he caught you and held you in place. You were almost face to face like this, which Neteyam was happy about. He had to look into your eyes to get his point across. He had to look into your eyes to get the courage needed to say this.

“Ma Vol, it doesn’t matter.” You scoffed, and the small movement of your head spilled unwanted tears, that you quickly brushed away with your thumb.

“Hey, look at me. Please?” You did so hesitantly. His thumb was caressing your face, your jaw and lips.

“It doesn’t matter. Do you not understand, Vol?” He moved his hand to rest on your chest, above your heart. “I can feel you. I can feel everything you feel. I can feel feel it like I’m going through it. When you’re sad, I’m sad. When you’re happy or shy, or anxious or scared, when you are annoyed or excited, I feel it all. You see? It doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t you get it? It never mattered. Not with you.” A small moan escaped you at his words, that he knew you needed to hear, and he needed to speak out loud. He didn’t know what would happen, didn’t know if he should have, but as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, harsh and needy, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

There was nothing left to do

When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

Neteyam woke up with a mean headache, and he felt almost hungover. He always did these days, pain seeping through every dimension of his life, of his body and mind. The dreams were unrelenting, and they stung each night, so many memories, so many moments he wished he could go back to, that he wished he could relive… that he wish he could forget. It’s been weeks, yet your final interaction still haunts him. How could it not? He didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. Nineteen years of friendship, of being each other’s safety net were swiftly thrown out the window in a split second, and Neteyam found it difficult to cope with the gap you and your presence left behind. There was so much that had to change for him, it felt like every day was a new life he never asked for and didn’t want, but was forced to live through regardless. A strange purgatory, one with warm breezes and crystal clear water and golden sandy beaches. Probably not the worst of purgatories, if Neteyam was honest with himself, but even Heaven could easily feel like Hell under the right circumstances.

“Ok kids, remember, no getting into trouble. Go meet Tsireya and Aonung and train. Pull your weight. Neteyam, once you’ve mastered the ilu, Tonowari said you can start learning how to tame the tsurak. Now let’s go show the Metkayina how the Omatikaya do things, alright, kids?”

“Yes, sir.”

Neteyam walked alongside his siblings to the meeting place they’ve been training every day for the past couple of weeks. As it turns out, the Metkayina can hold their breath underwater for up to 15 minutes, their bodies physically adapted to allow them to, and well… the Sullys couldn’t. So there was a lot of breathing training, on top of swimming lessons and ilu riding practice. Neteyam was frustrated to have to start anew, frustrated that he couldn’t fly every day, the way he has grown accustomed to for the past 6 years since completing his Iknimaya, frustrated that he went from being the future Olo’eyktan to a novice, to a nobody.

Despite everything, he tried. That was in his nature. He would always try, he would always give his best, and he would always make the best out of a bad situation, because that’s who he was. That’s who he had to be. The move left him broken and unmoored, with no purpose and no home, but Neteyam would still keep going, because his family depended on him, and that knowledge alone was enough to keep him afloat just a little while longer.

Neteyam couldn’t help be jealous of his little brother, who not only adapted, but he did so almost instantly. The new place felt immediately like home to the boy who has always felt alone and misunderstood, like a pariah and an outcast. It was the same here, yet somehow, the presence of the Olo’eyktan’s only daughter seem to lessen the blow and make him want to try harder than he ever has before. His breathing technique was better than all of theirs, except Kiri's, most likely due to the extra lessons he was getting every day from Tsireya. Neteyam was proud of Lo’ak, he really was. But he couldn’t shake the feeling of annoyance that once more, whilst Neteyam was plagued with insurmountable challenges and continuous sacrifices, Lo’ak once more got everything he’s wanted handed to him on a silver platter. He just wishes sometimes life could work out in his favour the same way, at least once. At least in one aspect. The one aspect.

The days were long and tedious, but every day something happened that he wished he could tell you about, that he wished you could experience. You loved water. He could just about imagine your face, your thoughts, your every expression, every sound you would make, every undulation of your voice. He could imagine taking you to the mangrove forest and finding a spot just for the two of you, your screams of pleasure drowned by the greenery and the sounds of exotic birds. He could see you taking your mask off despite his complaints, and kissing him, deeply and passionately, smiling as his tongue explored your body, as your hands explored his.

He missed you. He wondered if you missed him too, or if the hatred that probably fuelled your days prevented you from doing so.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

“I’ve missed you.”

You were a mess of tangled limbs on your bed, Neteyam’s warmth enveloping you like a cozy blanket, much more so than the one currently covering you both. His voice was thick and laced with languor, and so sweet, it was making your eyes flutter closed in bliss and soothing relaxation.

“I’ve missed you, too, Teyam.”

Neteyam’s large hand cupped your face, lifting it gently so he could meet your eyes, smiling softly as he did.

“Ma Vol… are you happy?”

Neteyam’s loaded question took you by surprise, and woke you from your near-sleep. You thought about it for a while, pondering the weight of the word. Happy. Were you happy? Happiness was such a strange, abstract concept to you. On one hand, yes, you were. So, so happy. In this moment, you were happy. In every moment you were in his arms, every moment he laughed at your silly jokes, or watched you intently as you spoke about your day, in every moment he was just who he was, your best friend, your confidant, your boyfriend and mate for all intents and purposes, except the one that mattered most. And there was the flip side, the ugly monster, that was ever-present and following you everywhere you went, marring even the most serene, the most beautiful, the happiest memories. The truth. The truth was the antithesis of happiness. Because the truth told you that one day, Neteyam would up and leave you, and when he did, your life as you have come to know it for 19 years will change. Because let’s be honest. Not only will you lose him as a lover, as an unofficial boyfriend, but you knew you would lose him as a friend. You knew that whoever it was that would be his mate would not approve of your friendship, and that, in time, even that will dwindle and fall apart, leaving you completely on your own.

Still, all of that was far away in the future in your mind, and telling Neteyam any of it meant admitting feelings you shouldn’t be harbouring to begin with, so you settled for a white lie. A harmless lie. A necessary lie.

“I am, Teyam.”

“Are you?”

“Right now, I am.”

“Good. Because so I am. I know it’s strange. I hate this place, you know. So many horrible things have come out of it, so much hurt and pain and death, but somehow, being here with you… this room, this bed. Somehow it feels like home. And I think it’s you. I think you’re my home.”

You tightened your grip on his body and didn’t say anything as you allowed yourself the respite of his words, and the hope of tomorrow.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

You woke up in pain, and crying, as you did most nights these days. You were slowly losing hope the nightmares would ever stop, that his face would ever be erased from your mind, both conscious and unconscious, tugging at every strand of sanity you had left, any shred of self-preservation still keeping you going. It’s been long enough that you thought the pain should have subsided by now. Long enough that maybe, just maybe, the world wouldn’t be as dark and gloomy anymore, that maybe while not the whole sun, but at least one ray of it could penetrate the ice that wrapped around your heart, slowly thawing it. But your world was still dark and filled with dim shadows and water that was slowly filling every chamber of your heart and lungs, slowly drowning you.

You got out of bed with a sigh and turned on the shower, water so hot it felt almost scalding on your skin, the only way you showered these days, the only way it was bearable, the only way. Because this way, in your mind, little by little, every inch of skin on your body he ever touched was slowly melting away, and in time, all the cells that died would be replaced with new ones, and in time, your body will be rid of his imprint and then, maybe then, you could finally be free.

You made your way to the dining area, determined to be a productive member of society at least to some extent today, determined to not spend yet another day in bed, replaying the same 10 songs that only made you sadder, or the same show that you have seen so many times you have memorised by heart. Most of the humans and Avatars were there, enjoying some breakfast prior to a long day ahead. There was yet another attacked planned today. Tarsem was a good leader. Strong and capable, unrelenting in his quest to impede as many of the human developments as he possibly could. He was not deterred by the Recoms and he had faith in Eywa’s ability and desire to protect her world and her people, and so far, he has been right. Even with Avatars, they have not been able to find the new Omatikaya base of operations, and you have even found some of them dead in the woods, mostly likely as a result of an attack by all the ikran that lived in the mountains.

“Morning, honey.” Max sent a wide smile your way, that you tried your best to reciprocate.

“Coffee?” The words were music to your ears. You’ve only tasted coffee a couple of times when you were young, before the provisions depleted, but now, with all the trains and helicopters that the Na’vi and Avatars managed to take down, the stronghold had plenty to spare once more.

“Yes, please.” Norm poured you the magic liquid and took a sip of it himself, sighing happily to himself.

“You know, it really does suck that the humans came back, but my God, this is definitely a silver lining.”

You chuckled a little.

“I doubt the Na’vi will see it that way, Norm.”

“No, but outside of coffee and burgers and all the other human things we’ve missed, Tarsem is incredible, kid! We have so many lab supplies, reagents and equipment that we are still trying to unpack, categorise and put together. It’s incredible all the stuff they brought with them. It’s almost like all the stuff we used to do on Earth, they’re trying to bring here. Who knows what we could do with all of it?”

“After breakfast, I can help you with it. This way we can go through it faster and figure it out?”

“That’d be great, kid.”

“Where’s Spider?”

“He’s training with the Olo’eyktan and his men. You know? Tarsem loves him!” Norm laughs heartily. You raise an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, kid! Turns out 19 years of training with Neteyam and Lo’ak under Jake’s supervision really did make him quite the fighter. Now, he’s obviously never going to be able to take the Iknimaya or be one of the people, but Tarsem sees a true warrior in him. Can you believe that?”

You couldn’t really, but you also couldn’t help the swell of pride that overtook you. It was nice to know there was some hope for the humans in the clan after all.

“Why don’t you go with him? You’ve also trained with the kids growing up. I know you split your time between that and being in the lab, but kid, it’s worth a shot. There’s a whole life out there waiting for you, and this way, you get to feel more integrated with the village. This is what you’ve wanted all your life, isn’t it?”

Yeah, you thought bitterly. A different life.

Despite everything, you took Norm’s advice, and spent your time training with Spider and the Na’vi warriors, deepening your understanding of guns, practicing bow and arrows and even learning hand to hand combat from the human Avatars. In the spare time, you helped in the lab, doing experiments and organising all the overwhelming amounts of new things you were receiving from all the raids. It was a good distraction, and it kept you busy sun up til sun down, each day, every day.

You and Spider got closer by the day, even closer somehow than you used to be. You cleaned his wounds and he helped clean yours, although he didn’t know much about how to do it, but in time, you taught him and you enjoyed the feeling of another person helping you, another person healing you. You almost felt the edges of the gaping hole in your chest start to close when you spent your days together.

But no amount of distraction could really keep the nightmares away when they wanted to come and haunt you in the night.

Ten months sober, I must admit

Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it

You woke up panting, crying and tugging at your night gown in an effort to make the pain stop, the gaping hole in your heart that hurt still as badly as that first day, that never seemed to get any smaller, that refused to heal. You barely registered the door to your bedroom sliding open with a soft whoosh, but jumped when you noticed a dark figure approaching you slowly.

“Spider, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry. I just heard you scream, I was worried about you.”

You looked at Spider, your eyes adjusted to the dark enough to make out his beautiful face and his dreads that were getting longer by the day. He needs a haircut, you decided mindlessly. You had to admit his presence was soothing to you, his presence in this room that only Neteyam truly ever came in, that only Neteyam ever slept in, that only Neteyam knew as well and intimately as you did. But Neteyam wasn’t here. Neteyam would never be here again. You winced at the sharp burst of pain that shot through you at the thought.

“I’m alright. Thanks for asking. Just had a nightmare.”

Spider sighed, picking at something on his arm.

“Yeah. I get those too.”

You barely stopped to consider what Spider must be going through, too self-involved in your own heartbreak to recognise his own, one that was probably closer to yours that you could have ever thought. You lost Neteyam, but Spider lost Kiri. You both lost a Sully, both lost a love you cared for deeply, more than anyone could ever understand except the other.

“Ok, well, sleep well. Let me know if you need anything.”

You saw Spider turn around and make his way towards the exit, and you could’t help the voice that came out uninvited.

“Can you… stay? Please? I don’t want to be alone.”

Spider stopped in his tracks, still turned away from you, and you watched as the atmosphere of the room shifted, as the silence became thicker than it had been a few moments ago.

“Yeah… yeah, I can stay.” He slowly walked towards your desk chair that had a few clothes thrown carelessly on it, that he removed and put on your desk instead. He sat down, playing with the height and back support controls.

“Goodnight, gorgeous.”

You laughed quietly.

“Spider, I meant stay with me.” You shuffled on one edge of your bed and patted the other side. You watched his eyes go wide and mouth agape, as he stared at you in shock.

“You don’t have to, if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

He shook his head and lowered his eyes to the ground. “No, it’s not that, it’s just…”

“Spider, it’s ok. Forget I asked, ok?”

“Oh, shut up. I want to, ok? I just needed a second to adjust. Jeez.”

In true Spider fashion, he stomped over to the bed and got under the covers, and slowly turned around to face you. This was a strange feeling to adjust to for sure. You’ve never had a normal sized person in this bed before. You’ve never had anyone else in here before except Neteyam. Spider looked tiny by comparison, even though the young man was almost a whole head taller than you. Your synchronised breaths were the only thing filling up the tense, awkward silence.

“This is a little weird.”

You couldn’t help chuckle. Well, at least one of you acknowledged it.

“A little.” You admitted. “But I’m glad you’re here, Spider.” He gave you a boyish, crooked smile, one that you’ve grown up seeing develop, just like the rest of him had. You never really paid attention to Spider before. To you, he was just your weird, Tarzan-impersonator, lanky and smelly friend, someone that was just always there. After Neteyam, you never really paid attention to anyone, especially of the opposite sex. Why would you? Any second spent on such affairs was a second wasted, in your mind. But now, Neteyam was gone. Neteyam would move on, and he’d find a mate, whether in the Metkayina or back here, if he ever return. It was time for you to pay attention, it seemed. And you did.

Spider grew up into a beautiful man. He was tall and strong, a testimony to the entire life dedicated to living as close to a Na’vi as he possibly could in this body, that was pure muscle. He was completely naked barring a pair of boxers, and even in the cover of darkness, you couldn’t help trace his biceps and pecs, his pronounced collarbones, and settle you gaze on his face, still kind and innocent, still the same kid you’ve known your whole life.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you smiled a little, almost bashful that he caught you, not that you were in any way subtle about it.

“You’re beautiful, you know? I think I’ve always been caught up in my own bullshit to really notice, and I’m sorry for that.” He rolled his eyes, but the blush in his cheeks was so intense it was noticeable even in the dim light coming from the bioluminescent glow of the nature right outside your window.

“You mean caught up in Neteyam.”

It was your turns to blush, hard enough that your cheeks felt like they caught fire. He laughs at you.

“It’s ok. You’re not the only one who knows what it’s like to love someone you can never have, and also not the only one who did things Neytiri would kill you for if she ever found out.” He opened up his arms.

“Come here.”

You hesitated for a second, but couldn’t help the sudden need to be held again, to allow yourself the chance of some sort of connection, some sort of lull in a sea of storms and heartache. Once in his arms, you were once again painfully aware of the difference between him and the man you’ve come to know by heart, the man that still held every part of you hostage, trapped in his hold.

“I know you’ve had a really tough time, and I know that you’re angry, and that most of all, you’re sad that it’s over. I am, too. But the rest of us are still here, you know? The rest of the world is still here. And I think maybe it’s time you give it a chance. Who knows what will happen?”

“How can you be so ok with it? They left us. They abandoned us.” His hand was calloused, but warm and gentle and it caressed up and down your back, and the touch, so familiar and yet so different, brought tears in your eyes as you found yourself wishing once more other hands, bigger and bluer, could do it instead.

“They had no choice. You really think any of them would abandon their home, their family, the forest… any of it, if they could help it?”

You were surprised at Spider’s words and way of thinking, so much more nuanced and level-headed than yours. You knew he was right. You knew it in your head that you shouldn’t blame any of them, shouldn’t blame him, that this was probably even harder for them that it would ever be for you, and yet still, your head and your heart rarely ever got along or saw eye to eye. Your heart was aching, shooting its poisoned blood all throughout your body with every heartbeat, trickling onto every cell, every ounce of you it could get to, making a mess out of you, leaving you reeling and broken, full of hatred and resentment.

“Don’t you… miss her?” He sighed, and stilled his hand movement on the nape of your neck. “I do. I miss them all. But this is a chance to prove myself, to live and show people that I am more than the Sullys’ little pet. And I will take this opportunity and give it everything I got. I suggest you do the same.”

“You should sleep. I’m gonna kick your ass in practice tomorrow otherwise.”

And so you did. And for the first time in months, you had a peaceful night.

Ten months older, I won't give in

Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

The peace didn’t last, as it never seemed to, as Norm burst in the lab one day when you were doing some experiments.

“Kid. I just heard from Jake.”

The mention of Jake’s name stilled you in your tracks. The name and the names associated with it could always do that, will always do that, even though it’s been months. You knew Jake would never risk their cover to get in touch, so whatever the reason for this was, it was serious. You felt a lump in your throat, restricting your airways, making the breaths you took shallow and uneven.

“What’s the matter?”

”It’s Kiri. Something happened to her underwater. She’s unconscious. Jake asked us to come right away.”

Kiri… your sister in all the ways that mattered, you loved this girl with all your heart. The thought of anything bad happening to her was unthinkable to you. Another thought crept unwelcome in your mind, increasing the lump now completely obstructing your breath, that got stuck in your airways. Spider…

Trying to calm your thoughts, you spoke, and the voice scratched your throat painfully on its way out.

“Did you t-… did you tell him?”

“He’s out in the forest. There is no time. Me and Max are going now. Kid… I think you should come with.”

Eyebrows raised and mouth agape, you struggled to gather your thoughts enough to speak, only soft mumbles coming out instead.

“W-wh-“

“Because I think there’s a lot left unsaid. I know you’re angry, and you have a right to be, far be it from me to tell you how to feel, but…” he sighed, and you could tell he felt uneasy speaking to you about this. “Spider got some closure. You didn’t. Take it from an old man, life’s too short to not have some peace of mind. Kiri’s unwell, and if something happens to her, you will regret for the rest of your life not having said a proper goodbye when they left, when they wanted to.”

“I know it’s not what you want to hear, but they did think they were protecting you by leaving. You know they love you, kid. You’re their sister, their best friend. You’re as good as Jake’s daughter. They wouldn’t have left if they ever thought they had a choice.”

“Look, you don’t have to come. I just want what’s best for you, and I think isolating yourself the way you’ve been doing for months isn’t what’s best for you. Just come. Help us save Kiri, say your peace to the Sully family and then maybe you can move on, honey. And who knows… maybe you and Spider…”

You refused to think about his last sentence and focused on how your mind was short-circuiting at his other words, at his desire for you to join, at the thought of seeing them again. Of seeing him again. Your heart was beating so hard it felt like it was trying to escape your ribcage, and you ran your hand up and down your arms in order to remove the sweat that was gathering on your skin. You knew you probably shouldn’t, you knew that you were better off never seeing them again and forgetting the way his touch and his presence and his voice still had the power to make your knees buckle under the weight of what he meant to you, of the calamitous love you will always feel for him, but another thought, more pressing and urgent, more demanding, made you speak before your mind could intervene.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

The drought was the very worst

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr@bananafruityawne @liluvtojineteyam @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @netemoon @www-interludeshadow-com

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gardenfullofsage · 1 year

Text

Ceilings

Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

Kylo loves you right? At least it's what you try to convince yourself of.

word count: 4,731 words

Warning(s) Heavy angst, Smut, Violence, Extra mean Kylo, Kylo's a dick in this one.

I don't own this Gif

You had convinced yourself that he needed you.

You had convinced yourself that he loved you.

You lay in your cold bed, as you watch him watch you. You pretend to not notice the look of anger on his face.

''You put my troops in danger'' His cold voice breaks the silence. You can't speak your voice raspy from the lack of dehydration. Funny, this is the first thing he tells you when you wake up.

''A thank you would be nice.'' You mutter quietly, you didn't want to anger him further. You don't flinch as he throws a vase against the wall.

''Thank you? I should kill you. You disobeyed my order, I told you to stay here, and now look at what you've done.'' You don't speak, you can't. You don't remember the last time you felt. warm.

''I saved your life Kylo, she would've killed you.'' This time you flinch, his grip on your face bruising. He forces you to look at him.

''Rey, has her own reasons. She's not as foolish as you.'' You fight the tears threatening to escape, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

''You're pathetic, you repulse me, the only thing you're good at is getting in my way.'' You shut your eyes, as Kylo stomps his way out of your shared room.

'shared.'

You were the only one whoever slept here.

It had been years since your marriage to Kylo, granted you had no choice. You never did.

His way of becoming supreme leader, was by murdering, conquering, and marrying into the dark side. Your parents were quick to hand you over, they feared for their lives.

Not yours.

You don't know what love is, you never experienced it. Not from your parents, you didn't have friends, and now you're stuck in a loveless marriage.

You'd agreed to marry him because you wanted to feel something, you wanted to feel loved.

You roll over wincing slightly as you roll on your back, the gash on your abdomen created by Rey. She had tried to hurt Kylo.

Her lightsaber pierced through you, while his words pierced through your heart.

You stare at your ceiling.

This time you do cry.

You cry for yourself.

'Ceilings, plaster. Can't you just make it move faster?'

You don't see much of Kylo after that, it didn't surprise you. The only times you did see him, were times you managed to somehow 'mess' up. Every time he'd come to you, it was to berate you, remind you how pathetic you were, he's never touched you. Not even once.

You'd convince yourself that it was his way of showing he cared.

At least a bit..

You wince slightly as you make your way off the command shuttle.

The overgrown grass grazes your legs as you walk through the field, you knew this place like the palm of your hand.

You had dreams of marrying here as a child. There wasn't much you remembered from your childhood, sometimes you'd create scenarios in your head.

Your eyes flutter shut involuntarily as you feel the cool breeze prick your face. The sharp contrast between the quiet you felt here, and the eerie buzz of machines on the ship soothing.

It was rare for you to receive permission off the ship. Your wound was still fresh, you refused treatment.

You didn't want to risk bumping into him. Especially vulnerable, he would never see that side of you.

After sll you're pretty sure he would never care. Not when she existed.

You were too into your head you failed to notice the figure looming over you.

''I ordered you back on the ship 5 minutes ago. Why are you still here.''

You did not need to look back, you knew that voice all too well. His voice always held conviction, he lacked empathy that you were very much aware.

Even knowing, your heart always manages to sink.

''Dinner will be served at 0:17, you are to join me no excuses.''

You don't nod, it wasn't a suggestion. It was a command, an order.

You sigh, regretting it immediately the sharp pain on your abdomen still present. You carefully rise from your seated position. You slowly follow him back onto the shuttle.

An impending feeling of dread fill the deepest depths of your gut.

Turns out the 'dinner' was 100% a faculty meeting. One you were forced to sit and participate in.

You sit next to Kylo, your hands on your lap as you mindlessly listen to the General. Hux' you're not sure though, you were never properly introduced.

You've shared formalities once, just a nod while passing nothing else.

Dinner was served much after, by that time your appetite was certainly gone.

The food Infront of you was barren and cold, like the occupants in here.

''Eat. Your wound needs the strength to heal.'' The hall is flushed in quite. The hush hung heavy in the air. Your heart beats.

''What?'' You're unsure of weather he was speaking to you or...

You stare into the dark abyss of his helmet. Your reflection clear, you watch yourself nod as you force a mouthful. The food was tasteless, goosebumps rose on your skin.

You felt the eyes of everyone on you. You wanted to shrink.

Kylo only did this to exort control. Power.

He wants others to know you were off limits. Funny, because that was made obvious. The the black band that rested on your finger was proof.

Behind closed doors, you were nothing to him.

To seal the deal Kylo interlocks your hands and rest them on the table. His grip tight.

The meeting stretched longer than you anticipated. Conversations of how to overcome and finally destroy the 'Rebellion.' Kylo's grip tightened at the mention of the Jedi.

You ignore the way your gut lurches, at the mention of her name.

The room suddenly grew impossibly hot.

Your discomfort however was noticed by the general.

''Is everything ok?'' You nod faintly, before rising from your seat. The metal screeching as it scratched the floor. You pull your hand from Kylo.

''I would like to excuse myself, I'm not feeling well.''

''Very well. You're dismissed.''

You don't wait for his approval. You don't look back, as you take slow and tentive steps out of the dining hall.

Once you're out of sight, you bolt . A wave of nausea greeting the pit of your stomach. You ignore the sharp pain shooting across your body as you rush into your room.

You burst into the bathroom before reaching to close the door, it doesn't.

A gloved hand prevents it from shutting.

Your eyes widen as you watch Kylo crowd the space.

''I'm sorry I-''

You words were cut off by a yelp. Your arm is forcefully grabbed as you're forced out of the bathroom.

''Kylo, stop you're hurting me.'' You protest fell on deaf ears as you're dragged out.

You scratch and pull at your arm in his grasp.

Once you manage to pull your arm free, you're frame sharply connects with a wall. The blow excruciating as you cry out.

''You expect me to keep you around? How are you supposed to Rule beside me, when you're constantly embarrassing yourself.'' Your body is fueled with rage at his words.

You couldn't believe this man.

''Then why do you?! It has been made very clear of my disturbance. You do not need to keep me around.'' The room grew deathly quiet.

The hiss of Kylo's helmet, is the only warning you receive before its flung hard against the wall.

''You have no right to speak to me as such. I am your ruler, you obey me.''

You laugh un-amusement dripping from your voice as you stare into his lifeless eyes.

''I'll tell you what you ar-'' The sharp sting causes the air to escape your lungs. Tears well up in your eyes, as you watch his gloved hand curl as he uses the force against you.

''You take pride in being a burden. I should've killed you when I had the chance.''

This time your tears do fall. You shut your eyes as agony fills your body. The pain of your wound no match for the pain of your heart.

''You take pride in being something you're not. I see right through your stupid helmet, your stupid mask.'' You gasp out, you should stop talking but you're so angry.

You're so angry... you're so hurt.

''You fail to see what everyone thinks of you. Rey-''

''You shut your mouth!''

''You give her your hand, and she rejects you. You come back to me. You hate her because she rejected you. So here I am.' You don't kill me because you fucking can't!''

Your words hang heavy in the air.

Kylo's glare deep in your bones, as you struggle to stay coherent. The force finally taking its toll on your body. You almost think you're wrong. And this is his way of proving it to you.

'He's actually killing you.'

The force is ripped off, as you gasp for air.

An expression of pure hatred etched onto his skin as you watch him leave.

'This felt like the start of a movie you've seen before.'

Weeks, and maybe months pass before you ever see Kylo again. The scarring of his words forever etched into your head.

You selfishly, wish your own words stick with him too.

The past few days passed by in a blur. The first order was finally gaining onto the Rebellion. Victory was finally. promised.

The door to your room opens with a woosh.

Kylo stands sickly still. You pretend to be asleep, your heart beats as your eyes squint open.

''I know you're awake. Get up and follow me.'' You watch as he marches back out.

''Keep your mouth shut, don't speak unless addressed, and stay close.'' You nod as you walk closely behind him. You had never been here, the place was eerily quiet, shivers racked your spine as you made your way to stars knows where.

''The mighty Kylo Ren, When I found you, I saw what all masters lived to see. Raw Untamed power, and something truly special... the potential of your blood line.'' You freeze as you here Snoke utter those words.

You feel Kylo also freeze, the steps of the Supreme Leader loud as he makes his way over.

''Within your bloodline, a new Vader will rise, I was mistaken.'' You watch as Kylo lifts his head.

''I've given everything I have to you... To the dark side'' His helmet disorients his voice.

''Take that ridiculous thing off.'' You watch as Kylo hesitates to remove his helmet. A big nasty gash paints the side of Kylo's face, your eyes widen as you take in the wound.

''You have too much of your father's heart in you.''

''I killed him, when the moment came, I didn't hesitate.'' Yiu shut your eyes, as you take in his words. He was capable of killing his own father.

''And look at you the deed spread your spirit to the bone...You were unbalanced bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber...you failed.''

You watch as your husband gets up and is blasted with snokes force.

''Don't you touch him!'' You feel your heart pound as you stand over Kylo. You hold your head high, as Snoke marches his way towards you.

''Silly girl, you fool.'' Your lips curls in disgust as he gives you a once over.

You flinch as he passes a hand through your hair, he chuckles sinisterly.

''You've managed to get yourself a good one, she will do just fine.'' You stop breathing entirely.

''The seed of the Jedi order lives, as long as it does hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Unless you're no Vader, You're just a child in a mask.''

The elevator ride back to your room was tense.

The tiny space felt crowded. You stood behind Kylo as he vibrated in anger.

Seconds felt like hours.

You watch in horror as he drives his helmet, through the wall repeatedly. Sparks of the destroyed fuses, burning as they caught on your skin. ''Kylo stop! You're hurting yourself.'' You don't know why you try reasoning with him.

His relentless beating to the wall doesn't deter, or slow. You were left with no choice. You roughly pull his head into your grasp, as you pull him into a hug.

Kylo tenses in your hold, and you half expect him to pull you off, and kill you for the stunt. But he stills completely before wrapping his large arms around your body.

You stand holding each other for a while, the feeling entirely new.

This was the first time he ever held you tenderly.

You so badly want this moment to last, you so badly wish time would stop.

The sudden ding of the elevator snaps Kylo out of whatever trance he was in. Soon he's rushing out of the metal encapsule barking out commands, as you stand staring at his destroyed helmet.

This was the Kylo you never knew could exist.

'And I would say all of this. But I don't wanna ruin the moment'

You're much more careful around Kylo, he seems to be in better moods.

He no longer yelled or ordered you around.

You found yourself suspicious. Every encounter behind closed doors was 'decent.'

You stare at the ceiling in your room. You replay and overthink the constant movies playing in your head. You were grateful, to improve on your skills of blocking him. out

He had no means, or way into getting into your head.

Your eyebrow ticks as you sit up. 'He had thanked you for walking alongside him.'

Granted you really had no choice but... still

Your seated beside him again as you partake in another faculty meeting. This time the topic surrounded and revolved around 'destroying' the Jedi.

Your eyebrow ticks once again.

'Is he allowing this to happen?'

You highly doubt it, especially when he almost practically split you in half for even mentioning her.

''We have some matters to discuss after this.'' He had mentioned discussing matters, ever so often.

''From now on, you are to attend any meeting alongside me. You are to stand beside me. Walk beside me, breathe and eat beside me. I will expect no less. Am I clear?''

Your head nods. His beady eyes stare into your soul.

''Use your words.''

''Yes,''

''Good girl''

For the third time today, your eyebrow again ticks.

You really should've taken his words into consideration. You find yourself next to him every second, every minute, of everyday. You walked beside him as soon as you land on the Death Star.

This is where the latest appearance of the 'Resistance' was made.

Your hands grow clammy, you've witnessed what they could do.

You've witnessed what he could do. You've been on the receiving end of his wrath; you can't even bring yourself to imagine what could occur.

The telltale singe of his lightsaber coming to life, sickening...

A gnawing feeling of dread filled the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes frantically look for Kylo. He had disappeared.

The sky began to cry. Rain fell hard as it drenched your entire being.

You dashed holding onto the bottom of your dress.

Your heart pounded. You dashed as fast as you could. Your body taking heavy blows from the ground as you slipped. Your speed never falttered.

The feeling of your heart getting heavy, your motivation.

The scene displayed in front of you; heart wrenching.

You watched as Rey stood over Kylo; her hand outstretched in an offering.

The violent crashes of the waves cold.

You feel your body move before your mind. The sight of Rey picking up his saber flashing.

The burn of the lightsaber, nothing like the burn in your chest.

'You'd fooled yourself.'

Your mind was failing to catch up, your once Chartreuse colored dress. Red from the blood leaving you.

You stare in panic, as she stands over you. Ironic.

She's always won.

She had the one thing you've dreamt of having..

His love.

''This is what you stand for? You stand for madness. Chaos''

You heave.

This is the woman he wanted to rule alongside with.

This is the woman he deemed, fit for your role.

You've saved his life twice now...

Your vision blurred, as rain crashed over you. The red oozed out of you and washed away with the waves.

You stare as she is flung to the side, by an invisible force. Her body colliding with the side of the ship as she lands hard on the ground.

Your limp body dragged onto a lap.

Your energy was draining, it was hard to keep your eyes open.

''Keep them open, stay with me.''

His hair damp from the rain, you want to speak. You want to say how stupid you feel.

You want to tell him how much you hate him.

You want to tell him how much you love him.

'You're kinda cute, but it's Raining harder. My shoes are now full of water, Lovely to be rained on with you'

''I hate how stupid you make me feel.''

Breathing is getting harder, this wasn't like the first time. No.

This time Kylo holds you, forcing you into a hug. He pushes the damp hair laying across your face, before he plants a shaky kiss onto your lips.

You feel your mouth stretch into a smile.

You feel warm.

His dark eyes the last thing you see before you're pulled into an abyss.

'But it's not real, And you don't exist, And I can't recall the last time I was kissed.'

You feel cold. And everything hurts. Your eyes slowly open, you squint as you try to adjust to the florescent lights. You try to sit up, the movement impossible.

''You're awake.''

You turn your head to the side, Kylo sat beside your bed. His large form barely fitting into the sofa chair.

''How long?''

Your voice was dry and raspy. He hushes you before placing a cup to your lips. You drink the liquid graciously. Your nerves tick. 'Why was he here?'

''You never seem to follow simple orders.''

The lack of conviction in his voice surprised you.

''I wasn't going to let you die-''

''And so, you'd rather die?!''

You shut your eyes. You didn't want to do this today. You were way over fighting with him. You had learned how stubborn Kylo was. A silent nod was the only response you gave him. He scoffs.

''You are supposed to rule beside me, not below.''

''I was never meant to rule beside you.''

You were tired. Too tired. Exhaustion filled your voice. There was no need to feign interest, there was no need to feign concern, and there was certainly no need to feign care.

''Kylo, I think we should stop here-''

''Don't you even dare finish that sentence. There is no ending. You are to get better. No excuses. Or so help me stars-''

''Rey, is she okay?''

You don't know why you asked, maybe reassurance. Maybe you just wanted him to rip the band aid off. Who knows. You hold your breath though. You want to be sure, you want to get closure. You want him to be happy, even if it wasn't with you. Even if he destroyed you.

''She should be dead for what she did to you! She hurt you.''

You notice the way his voice softens.

''Let me in...''

Your handshakes as you trace the scar adorning the side of his face. Kylo's eyes clench shut. He grabs your wrist before placing a delicate kiss onto the inside of your palm.

''I can't... I'm scared.''

Kylo doesn't argue he just nods. His cape flutters behind him before he goes to leave.

''I will bring the medic.''

With that the door wooshes shut.

Once again you find yourself staring at the ceiling.

'And it kinda comes out, As I get up to go.'

Days bled into nights since the incident. Kylo loomed over you like a hawk. You were never out of his sight. He was your shadow. You've began to grow used to his overbearing behavior; you find yourself looking forward to seeing him.

His anger was still an issue. Just not for you.

For once his wrath was not directed towards you.

Today was no different. News of the 'Resistance' Successful escape quickly filled the empty halls of the ship.

Chaos ensued.

Bodies plagued the floor, some lay still others out cold.

''Kylo.''

Your voice interrupted whatever was going on in the control room. The thud of the body, being choke by Kylo's force, loud.

Kylo turned at the sound of your voice, his black helmet now decorated with red. Due to your handiwork. You both stand staring at eachother, before you turn and walk out.

You smile at the sound of his pounding feet coming after you.

You walk in silence; you lure him into your shared room. You lean on a wall, arms crossed as you stare at him. You're unsure when this confidence of being within each others prescence formed.

''They can't get away with this... She can't get away with what she did.''

You hum in acknowledgement. You stare into his helmet.

''Take it off''

You hear his intake of breath before the hissing of his mask fills the quiet.

You walk slowly to where he sits on the bed. Your feet come in between his spread legs. You move his hair out of his face, before tracing the scar adorning his face delicately. He shuts his eyes as he releases a sigh. His large arms wrap around your stomach, he rests his head there; you caress his head.

The tension immediately leaving his body.

''Please let me in..''

Your heart thuds in your chest. Vulnerability coats his words. You slowly let the walls down. You cringe as a sharp singing of pressure rushes into your head.

Your thoughts were bare.

Kylo's arms clench around your midsection as he infiltrates your thoughts. Your soothing hand does not stop it's motions.

'Lovely to sit between comfort and chaos.'

I want you to bear my children.

The cough released from your chest loud in the room.

Kylo stares an amused expression taking over his face.

''I'm- I'm sorry?''

''I need to begin forging my bloodline... We need to begin forging our bloodline.''

Your eyes are wide. You'd been taking things slow. The past few months beyond enjoyable. You fell into a silent comfort. You were there, and he was here.

''I, I don't know what to say.''

''Don't say much...whenever you're ready.''

That night you laid wide awake. he laid beside you. You've walked beside him, did everything with him...You haven't shared a kiss after the first one.

Too scared to rush into it.

The sound of rustling sheets grabs your attention as you look to the side.

''You're thinking too loud.''

''Sorry...Were you being serious?''

''Hm''

''You want me to forge your bloodline?''

''No, I want you to forge our bloodline.''

Your heart skipped a beat. You turn to look at him. Kylo was already staring at you. Your eyes were like magnets, connecting every time. Your attraction for one another grew. You could feel it. Feel him.

''If this is about what Snoke-''

''Snoke no longer influences me.''

He had killed him. Set himself free. You nod, unable to use your words. Your thoughts were going haywire. The feeling of his hand caressing your face comforting. He had reclused any form of affection behind walls.

That night he kissed you.

He'd kissed you soft and slow. His mouth relayed everything he couldn't bring himself to say. Your hands grasped onto his shoulder. You looked for grounding.

If this was a dream you did not want to wakeup.

Your once soft kisses quickly became passionate. Your unspoken words a cacophony of something beautiful. Tears welled in your eyes.

'Finally'

His hands cup your face gently, as he breaks the kiss. He plants soft kisses onto your neck, his lips graze over your most sensitive parts.

Your grip on his shoulders, tightening.

You feel him slide, down, down until he's looking up. Your eyes meet as you nod. You gulp at the anxiety rapidly bubbling in your stomach.

Your panties are pulled off from beneath your nightgown, the air of the night Cold.

You arch your back of the bed, as Kylo blows a puff of air.

''So beautiful.''

He wastes no time as he dives in. His nose

bumping into your pearl, sends your eyes rolling back. His sharp tongue once uses to bring you to tears, now brings you to pieces.

The groan he releases cause a moan to escape from between your lips. His pace doesn't change. You find yourself gripping onto his hair, as you buck your hips onto his face. He chuckles the vibrations sending you into overload.

''Please-''

''Patience''

He's hushing you.

Your words slurred, as his thick digit teased your hole. You gasp as he shoves it inside, rocking it back and forth before he introduces a second one. Your groan in ecstasy, as he scissors you.

''Oh stars-''

'Bedsheets, no clothes. Touch me like nobody else does.'

You try to quiet your moans. his hands slap at your thigh. The impact sending tingles to your already sensitive body.

''Let me here how good I make you feel.''

Your body is coated in a light sheen of sweat. He looked so good between your legs. You throw your head back and clench your highs against his face, as his fingers quicken.

His tongue curls just around your clit, and you burst. The wire snapping, as you gush. Kylo never stops, even after you bordered sensitivity his laps never let up.

''Please, I can't-''

''Give me one more baby, give me. one more.''

Your body withered as he forced another orgasm out of you, you laid limp. Kylo crawled over you, you force his mouth onto yours. He moans as you lick yourself off his lips.

You loved the taste of you on his mouth. Your night gown is slipped off of you, as you undress him.

He kneels between your spread legs, his arms holding onto your ankles. Kylo places a delicate kiss on the inner side of your ankle.

''Are you sure?''

You nod your head.

''Use your words-''

''Yes''

''That's my girl'' He chuckles at your desperation.

Your eyes stay connected as he you feel him rub his cock over your lips. Your mouth gapes, as he nudges over your clit. Kylo coats himself in your slick.

Before you moan at the pop of him finally entering. The intrusion, borderline painful. He shushed you as you cried. His thumb going between your bodies, to rub at your clit.

''Tell me to stop and I will.''

You frantically shake your head. You beg him to move, do something to relieve the burning pressure growing between your legs.

Kylo's pace started off slow, he took his time in kissing you allover, marking you. Claiming you.

Your hands tangled into his hair, as he thrusted deeper.

Your lips never sepertaed.

Kylo was painting your sky with stars. Hanging the moon for you.

''Please.''

This time his pace quickens, your moans grow as the headboard of your shared bed slams against the wall.

''Take it.''

''You're doing so good.''

''Fuck, you feel so good.''

Kylo's praises in your ear, bring you to other levels. You find, yourself begging for him. You want him inside and out.

''You're mine...''

''I'm going to put a baby in you.''

''You're going to be nice a round with my baby, you want that?''

You nod frantically words slurring into Yes's.

''You're my queen, you're going to rule beside me forever. Not even death will keep us apart.

Your eyes well up with tears. Kylo wipes at the them, his pace never faltering not even as he makes you come over and over again.

Not even when he paints you full of him.

Not even when he tells you how much he loves you.

Tonight, you don't stare at your ceiling, you finally stare at him..

'And it feels like the end of a movie I've seen before, Before.'

___________________________________________

I want to thank each and every one of you for your likes, reblogs, comments, and follows. It really truly means a lot to me. Please feel free to send in any requests, they are always open. Again, thank you so much, and I hope you enjoyed <3.

#star wars sequel trilogy #adam driver #adam driver x reader #adam driver smut #kylo ren #kylo ren smut #smut #angst

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celiamae99 · 6 months

Text

JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, talk about anxiety, depression, and mental illness, talk about self harm, almost self harming, physical and mental abuse, mature themes

Mature readers ONLY. 18+. I will check profiles periodically and will block minors bc this post is MA!

John B was mad. He was mad at JJ and he was mad at you. When he agreed to his baby sister (by 2 minutes) dating his person, he never thought it would result in fights this alarming. Sarah stood next to him, your best friend. Your person. While Sarah was yours, JJ was his. And it was awful to watch their favorite people be in this much pain. They were watching the fight like a tennis match.

“Would you just admit that you have a hero complex and the need to save everybody?” You screamed at him. They were standing in the kitchen, arguing again about JJ taking the bike and being reckless again.

“I’m trying to save you! And John B! And Kie, Sarah, Pope. Don’t you get that?” JJ screamed back at you. “And if that means getting hurt, or even killed, I’ll do that! I’ll do that for you guys because I love you.”

Tears streamed out of your eyes, running fast down your cheeks. “But what about me?” You demanded. “What do I do when you get wrapped up in something that so messed up that you can’t come back from it? That John B and I can’t fix for you. What if you do? What do I do then?” You yelled at him.

JJ and John B stared at you as you screamed. “Huh?” You screamed after a minute. “Answer me!” You screamed, shoving JJ back. JJ, mind going quickly into fight or flight mode, shoved your hands away, causing your wrist to twist and crack. John B quickly stepped in between you guys, preventing anything from happening further.

“Don’t do this guys!” John B yelled at you both, eyes ablaze.

You froze for two seconds. You shoved JJ. You’re sweet JJ, who loved you so much he was willing to sacrifice himself so that you would be okay. The JJ who’s dad was a dick to him, beat the crap out of him every chance he got; verbally abused him because he did have anybody else to take his crap out on. You shoved him. Instinctively you pulled your wrist to your chest.

“I - I -” You stumbled over your words. Trying to find the right ones to apologize, but JJ ran out the back door of the house before you could say anything.

“I have to go after him, make sure that he doesn’t -”

You nodded. Sarah coming up next to you as you fell into her arms sobbing as you tried to wrap your mind around what had happened.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

You spent the whole day in your room. Once you stopped sobbing, Sarah took you to your room and you climbed into your bed, holding the stuffed animal JJ had won for you when you were 10 and staring at the wall. Sarah didn’t try to talk to you, she just sat with you until John B got back. You heard mumblings of their conversation but didn’t try to understand what you couldn’t hear. Your mind was reeling.

Sarah made you eat a banana and drink water. She said the potassium would be needed and that you couldn’t get dehydrated.

Later that evening, John B came into your room and sat down on your bed. “We’re having a fire tonight, just our people. Kie, Sarah, Pope, me.” He didn’t say JJ. “JJ’s at work, said he has a car to fix up, he’ll probably show up late.” He continued on. “You need to get out of this room.” He deadpanned. “I’ll carry you out if I have to.”

You knew he was right. So after five minutes, you got out of bed, threw your hair in a very messy bun and an old maroon sweatshirt of JJ’s and grey sweatpants.

You walked into the living room and saw Sarah talking quietly with John B. When you entered room, they quickly turned their conversation to you.

“You look like shit,” she told you, scanning you from head to toe.

You rolled your eyes. “She definitely knows how to charm you, Big Bear.”

“She sure does.” You had been calling John B Big Bear for your whole life, and he in return called you Baby Bear.

“You need tequila,” Sarah decided after a minute.

“Yes I do.” You nodded in agreement. John B rolled his eyes and sighed. Tequila and you had never been good friends unless you were sad, and in which case, meant that you tried to drown your sorrows with tequila.

You had grabbed your bottle of tequila, favorite blanket, phone, and crocs before heading out to join the rest of the gang. Once you got there, you settled yourself on the long that you usually shared with JJ.

Kie and Pope were together and so we’re John B and Sarah. They were talking about a double date they were going on tomorrow, which left you to look out at the water and your mind wander.

After everybody had gotten a little buzzed and or a little high, you went into your dark and twisty place. How could you have shoved JJ? After everything that his father had done to him, you did that? How could you guys come back from this? What if he left you?

You always knew you weren’t good enough for JJ. You thought it all the time. Even when JJ tried to reassure you, there was still the nagging thought in the back of your mind, telling you that you weren’t enough. JJ was so much better than you, and he could have anybody he wanted, so why did he settle on you? You weren’t special. You weren’t smart and kind like Pope, you weren’t chill and relaxed like Kiara, you weren’t overly ambitious and hopeful like John B, you weren’t witty or gentle like Sarah, you weren’t feisty or adventurous like JJ. There wasn’t anything that made you special, you thought.

The grounding exercises that your therapist gave you hardly worked anymore. You were too out of touch with your body to understand what you needed. You teared up. You blinked ferociously, refusing to cry. You had done enough of that today.

“Hey,” Sarah said plopping down next you and stealing half your blanket. You leaned in to her, sighing deeply. “You’re not allowed to go dark and twisty on me and not tell me.” You rolled your eyes. Sarah knew you better than pretty much anybody did, besides maybe JJ. She knew your thoughts were eating you alive.

“Do you think he’ll show?” You ask quietly, picking at your phone case anxiously.

“If he doesn’t, then he’ll have to deal with the wrath of me, and I don’t think he wants that.

“Sarah,” I whispered. “I was - I mean - I -” You stumbled over your words again, blinking faster than before as a few tears betrayed you. You’re breathing quickened. You were spiraling.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she kneeled in front of you as you let out a sob. “It’s JJ, Y/N/N. It’s not like it’s some dumb turon or Kook, it’s JJ.” She smiled at you, keeping her voice gentle, trying to calm you down.

You put your head in your hands and continued to cry, trying hard to catch your breath, but nothing worked. Sarah’s words weren’t registering in your brain. You could barely making out John B calling JJ and telling him to come over because of your anxiety, but you couldn’t find it in you to tell him to stop. You shook Sarah off you before you took off running towards the house. You needed to be alone.

You shut the door to the bathroom, hand over your mouth trying to stifle the sobs. You glanced around the bathroom trying to focus on something solid when your eyes landed on the razor.

You zeroed in. You hadn’t done anything in months. Before you and JJ were together. Sarah had caught you and made you start therapy. JJ and John B knew, and so did Pope but you didn’t talk about it a lot. There were bigger problems to worry about.

But the therapy wasn’t working. You weren’t going anymore. The pain was still there. Deep, caught in your chest. The numbness of cutting would take away the pain. It would stop. You inched towards the razor. Just one cut, you thought. It wouldn’t affect much and it would take away the pain, even if it was just for a few seconds. Nobody would ever know. You grabbed the razor. You didn’t hear the knocking on the door. You inched the razor towards your wrist and screamed when the door banged open and JJ caught you.

Both your eyes widened. You opened and closed your mouth repeatedly. Trying to make words, but for the third time today, the English language failed you.

“Y/N,” JJ said sternly. “Give it to me.”

You shook your head rapidly. “I need it to stop, JJ.” You said fast and quietly. “I just need to turn everything off.” JJ stepped forward. You gripped the razor tighter. “I just need it to all stop. Just for a minute.” You cried, chest starting to heave again.

“Sweetheart, this is not how you make it stop. If it stops, it doesn’t start again. It’s an addiction to you. And it’s not going to make it better, it’s only going to get worse. It may seem like a short term solution, but long term you know it will only cause you more pain.” You knew he was right. JJ was always right when it came to stuff like this. “Baby, I’m going to grab it now.” He took it gently from your hand and threw it into the sink. He grabbed you just in time as your legs gave out. You let out guy wrenching sobs.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Once you had calmed down from your episode, you lied back down on your bed staring at the wall. JJ was back in the living room talking with John B and Sarah. After a little while, he slipped back into the bedroom and slid in next to you.

“We need to talk.” Those four words made you shoot up. You knew those words. You had used them on JJ when you had made the decision to split up for a few months a year ago.

“JJ,” you croaked. You didn’t want this. You couldn’t handle him leaving you right now.

“Just listen to me, okay?” He grabbed your hand. “We’re not in the same place right now.” He said gently, his whole gut, heart, and brain hating this, but he knew it was right. For both of you. “You’re so anxious, all the time. Anytime JB and I go to do something you panic until we’re back. If you go with, you panic until it’s done. You pushed me today babe. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve it, because I did. I needed a reality check, but babe, we need help.” He took a deep breath, his heart breaking. “And we need to do that apart, I need to do that apart.”

Tears welded up in your eyes again. This wasn’t happening. This could not be happening.

“JJ, please.”

“I’m not saying we break up, I’m saying let’s take a few months and -”

“Months?” You cried out. You didn’t want to be apart from him for more than a day, let alone months.

“Y/N. We need this okay? You need time to figure stuff out, I need time to figure stuff out. I’m not saying we break up -”

“It sounds like we are!”

“We just need time, okay? Talk to your therapist, work on you. We’ll go from there, okay? But for now, we need space.”

And with that, JJ left, taking your heart with him as he made his was to the couch, where he’d be spending most of his nights.

Pt. 2 coming!!!

#jjmaybankimagine #jjmaybankimagineangst #JJ maybank #outerbanks #imagines #jj maybank x routledge!reader #JJ imagine #outerbanks imagine #JJ maybank imagine #JJ maybank imagine angst #JJ x reader #JJ maybank x reader

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