Pas de Deux pt. 8:
Silco x f!reader, 9k words, SFW
CW: obsessive silco, yandere/kidnapping (please see part 1 for the full series warnings!)
Chapter warnings: emotional manipulation, referenced past abuse, unresolved sexual tension, fluff, talk about death and ghosts, talk about murder, angst, possessiveness
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 9
-
It takes a surprisingly short amount of time for you to start feeling like you’re back to normal. That is, this new normal that you’ve found yourself in, after a chance encounter with the King of the Undercity that had changed your life forever.
But despite you no longer feeling that tidal wave of numbness following the wake of your visit Topside, you do notice a slight shift in the air, especially between you and Silco.
Perhaps you’re just looking at things differently now. You’ve both revealed secrets, and honestly, you feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders now that you’ve done so.
And gods, that confession he’d made when you were in that booth together. Of course, he’d pretty much said it before, not only in words, but with every soft look and reverent touch. But he’d never said it in those exact words and never like that.
In a moment of self-preservation, you’d decided to just forget about the pills. They were gone and you would never get your hands on them without Silco’s help. Instead, you were choosing to focus on the performance for the chem-barons.
But the bitter truth was, you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep stalling in order to devise a new plan to escape. And what made that truth even more sour was the constant, underlying thought that you had no idea what you were going to do when you finally got back to Piltover.
You no longer have a house, or any money to get a temporary roof over your head until everything settles down again.
You’re completely on your own.
But, you keep repeating to yourself that you’ll just have to burn that bridge when you get to it… of course, you’re not beyond literally burning the bridge between Topside and the Undercity if that’s what it takes.
Until then, you tell yourself to keep stalling. Keep pushing the date of the performance back until you have a solid plan in place. Besides, you still didn’t have a costume despite giving Silco some design sketches and a description of the materials you’d seen at the market.
There’s absolutely no point in asking him to take you back there to buy them, so you don’t even bother.
It’s a warm, rainy day when there’s another, almost undetected shift in the air. The soft pitter-patter of rain on the stained glass window of Silco’s office (which you were surprised to discover was one of his own designs), is almost comforting as you sit curled up on the sofa.
Silco is busily scribbling away on some documents at his desk, leaving you to peacefully read through your newest book, one he’d ordered especially for you. But you find yourself unable to focus on any of the words. Your mind is too scattered to concentrate properly.
As you lean your fist against your cheek, elbow propped on the armrest, you gaze at the King of Zaun, wondering just what could be going through that complicated head of his.
It wouldn’t take a detective to notice that since the visit Topside he was steadily becoming more and more swamped with work. Could it just be a coincidence? Or was there a causal link?
Perhaps the visit to Piltover had required some favours that needed paying back. You recall Silco’s hushed conversation as you’d arrived at the Piltover side of the bridge. Or maybe someone else had gotten wind of the stunt and was attempting to use some information against him.
It’s this thought that prompts you to blurt out your next question.
“Did you want me to help with anything?”
Silco’s eyes snap up to meet yours, surprise etched alongside the intricate lines of his scarred face.
“I beg your pardon?” he asks, a slight swivel of his chair to face you.
“With your work,” you clarify, nodding towards his desk. “You’re always so busy, is there anything I can help with?”
The corner of his mouth lifts up a touch and you immediately assume he’s going to dismiss you.
“Actually there is, my darling,” he responds, completely subverting your expectations as he carefully places his pen down on the desk.
A hint of relief rushes through you. This could be your chance to learn something that you could use to blackmail him. Or an opportunity to learn some names or locations of people that could give you sanctuary when you finally escape.
“I have some letters that have yet to be placed in their envelopes and stamped with a wax seal,” Silco continues, rubbing his forehead as if he’s trying to erase a headache.
Your initial instinct is to laugh and tell him that giving you hot wax in his presence is an absolutely horrific idea. But obviously you can’t say that.
Instead, you offer him a simple, and rather pleasant, “Okay.”
Silco begins to roll his chair back, so you purposefully stand up and stride across the room to grab yourself a chair before he can do something ridiculous like suggest you sit on his lap.
Then again, the more you think about it, the more you think it might not be the worst idea. Maybe you’d accidentally break one of his old man hips and render him unable to fight back…
Silco suggests nothing of the sort, pushing himself up from his chair and stalking over to the drinks cart to pour you both a glass of water.
Truthfully, you’re not sure whether you feel relieved or disappointed.
Placing the chair on the opposite side to Silco’s cushioned throne, you quickly get settled, hoping to sneak a look at some of the documents on his desk before he returns. Unfortunately, Silco is rather well-practised at pouring drinks, meaning he’s already back at the desk before you can even make out just one upside-down name.
He gets comfy in his chair, placing your drink in the nearest empty space on the polished wood before taking a quick sip of his own. Then, he opens a drawer and retrieves a small wooden box and a pile of letters and envelopes.
Silco puts the wooden box to one side, which you presume holds the tools to make the wax seals, and places the letters and pre-marked envelopes in front of himself.
The look he gives you as he raises his head and makes eye contact with you fills your stomach with unexpected dread.
“Are you ready?” he asks gravely.
Why the fuck is he acting like you’re about to rush into battle? You’re only putting paper inside other bits of paper; what’s the worst that could happen?
“Uh… yes?” you reply with no small amount of hesitance.
“Alright. This here is what we call an envelope,” he says, holding one up like you would when showing a child. “Typically, we will fold the letter to fit the size of the envelope we intend to use. In this case, I have a size that requires simply folding the paper in half once, like so.”
You stare at him incredulously as he takes a letter, folds it neatly in half, then slides it into the envelope.
…Is this bitch really explaining envelopes to you?
“Once the letter is situated within the envelope, there is, of course, the matter of sealing it so that unwanted parties are less likely to read the contents of the letter. For this we-”
You can’t help but interrupt him as your blood begins to boil with indignation.
“Silco, I’m not a child, I know how to send a letter,” you say sharply, not bothering to hold back on the sarcasm and annoyance that bleed through your tone.
Silco’s expression contorts into one of pure melodramatic shock.
“You do? I was under the impression that Pilties had an entire body of staff to do everything for them,” he drawls, his cynical timbre plucking at the very strings of the deep rage building inside you.
It’s on the tip of your tongue to snap that you’re not a real Piltie and that you’ve done everything for yourself for as long as you can remember, until you suddenly realise that he doesn’t know you grew up in the Undercity just like him.
So your passionate and entirely stupid heart goes for the next best thing without one single approval from your rational mind.
You insult him.
“Oh, piss off,” you snap, your tone drenched in mockery instead of any malice. “At least I didn’t have to kidnap someone just to get a fucking girlfriend.”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, that passionate heart instantly begins to sober up, your eyes snapping to his in shock when your brain catches up with what you’ve just said to the Eye of Zaun.
But instead of looking murderous like you expect, Silco is grinning wolfishly, allowing you to relax… marginally. No good can come from a grin as lustful as that.
His voice drops low and his eyes appear to be glimmering as he leans slightly closer to whisper huskily.
“I love it when you get all fiery; you’re like a burst of pure colour in the dark night sky.”
You feel a flushed line of red colour your throat.
Does he really mean that? Surely he prefers the nicer, ‘pretend you’ that you’d spent the past few months acting as, not the unguarded, sarcastic version of yourself that slips out every so often.
“Yes, well, teasing isn’t a very nice thing to do to your partner who is very kindly offering to help you with your work, is it?” you sniff haughtily, deflecting his compliment because you honestly have no clue how you’d even begin to accept it.
“You’re right, I do hope you’ll forgive me, my angel,” he drawls, his lips curling in amusement.
He doesn’t sound sorry in the slightest.
Silco picks up the rest of the letters and envelopes, and holds them out towards you in the air above the desk. But when you go to reach for them, he grabs your fingers with his free hand, keeping eye contact as he seductively leans down and presses a chaste kiss on your knuckles.
Now, this of course would have been an entirely sweet gesture, had he not then punctuated it with a quick, kitten lick of his tongue along your middle finger, making you jolt in surprise, as well as a flood of heat rushing through you as you imagine his tongue doing that on other places of your body…
Fuck.
You snatch the letters and envelopes from him, ignoring the blush you just know you’re sporting and childishly muttering a, “You didn’t even apologise,” to yourself as you wipe your hand on your top.
If only you could wipe away the confusing rush of feelings that were now coursing through your veins.
You can tell he’s amused and irritatingly pleased with himself by the way he’s smirking like the cat who ate the canary. It’s a real effort to just ignore him, wanting to give in to every impulsive thought that tells you to push his drink over until it spills all over his desk and onto his lap.
Luckily, as you get started matching letters to pre-written envelopes, Silco begins to focus on his own work again, but not until he’s done his fair share of openly admiring you.
Admiring himself for successfully pushing your buttons, more like.
Time passes quite quickly as you form an assembly line of folding each letter, slotting it into the matching envelope, and placing it on a pile ready for stamping. You try to surreptitiously catch glimpses of names and details of any useful information, without making it seem like you’re reading the contents of the letters.
Once you’ve done that, fortunately memorising a few random names that you hope will someday prove useful, you start on heating the wax and stamping each seal, using the tools you find in the wooden box.
It’s not long before you find yourself getting lost in thought.
If you offered to do this again, could you perhaps sneak in a letter of your own without him noticing? But the real question was, who would you send it to?
Silco had already told you he was working with the authorities, so they were out of the question. And it wasn’t like you had any real friends or family that would be willing to help you.
The Ballet Academy was a no-go as well, given Oswald’s cruel betrayal all that time ago.
Perhaps you could find out where that new chem-baron was based, the one you’d met outside of Silco’s office. What was his name again? …Otto?
Maybe getting in contact with one of the chem-barons was the way to go. You could devise a scheme with one of them ahead of your performance, which would eliminate the need for you to gather any weapons yourself…
But surely Silco would read any reply before you could even have the chance to read it yourself.
You almost jump in surprise when Silco’s hand gently comes to rest on your own, cutting off your train of thoughts. As you’re shocked back to the present, it dawns on you that you’ve just been staring into the lighter flame for an indeterminate amount of time now.
You’d gotten so lost in your thoughts, you’d simply stopped doing anything at all.
When you finally look up at Silco, his brow is furrowed and his eyes tick over your face in clear concern.
“What’s the matter, my dear?” he asks quietly. Softly.
“Nothing,” you respond with a shake of your head. “Why?”
“You look terribly pensive,” he says, almost like it’s hurting him to see you in such a state.
You desperately try to think of an excuse, one that might work to your advantage given how gentle and understanding he’s been around you these past few days. Ignoring the little itch inside you that feels bad for using his kindness against him, you come up with an idea fairly quickly.
You can feel your whole expression and body language slowly shifting as you turn on the act, carefully laying the lighter back in the wooden box. Silco looks dreadfully concerned when you finally look up at him again.
“Silco, could you ask your staff to stop ignoring me, please? It makes me feel worthless when I try to make conversation with them and they just blank me,” you say, adding a slight tremble to your voice.
Anguish fills the seafoam of his good eye, leaning forward to gently cup your jaw with his calloused palm.
“Who ignores you?” he asks, low and serious.
“Everyone. Unless they’re passing on a message from you, they all just look straight through me.”
The corner of his lips turn down, his eyes following the motion as he stares blankly at the papers on his desk, clearly thinking hard. His thumb absentmindedly traces a gentle line across your jaw and you wonder if he even knows that he’s doing it.
You’re not entirely sure what could be so puzzling about the request. And it wasn’t like it was a complete lie. It was insulting being ignored by people you saw everyday.
At its worst, it made you feel lonely. But on the more practical side, you needed people to actually speak to you if you wanted to get them on your side. Especially if you were going to escape. You’d learnt enough by now to realise that you couldn’t do it all alone.
Silco appears to be stuck in a spiral of thoughts so you try the next weapon in your arsenal: touch.
You stand up, breaking out of his hold to round the desk and perch on the edge of it, sitting right in front of him. Taking both of his hands in yours, you watch the minute tics of surprise play out on his expression while he stares at your joined hands in wonder.
“Silco, we’re courting, surely you want me to get along with your staff now that I live here with you.”
At that, he finally looks up at you from where he’s still sitting in his chair, his expression nothing short of enamoured.
“Say that again,” he begs almost breathlessly, as his mismatched eyes scan your face.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to keep the smug smile from invading your features. You knew that would get him. The older ones love it when you use terms like that.
“What? We’re courting?” you repeat innocently.
“Yes. We are,” he sighs contentedly, accompanying it with a wistful, faraway look over your shoulder, like he’s imagining you both growing old together or something equally nauseating.
You refrain from grimacing and wait impatiently for him to come to a decision, but quickly pull him from his thoughts before he can get any smart ideas.
“Silco?”
He takes a deep breath, standing up from his seat and pulling you up with him. One arm loops around your waist while the other raises so his fingers can gently weave into your hair. The unreadable expression on his face makes you worry that he’s going to deny you again but he proves you wrong the moment he opens his mouth.
“I’ll speak to my staff for you, treasure,” he promises, slowly leaning forward until he rests his forehead against yours.
Your first instinct is to close your eyes, but you fight it as your heart suddenly begins to beat faster in your chest.
Is he going to try to kiss you again?
You can’t. You can’t kiss him. Especially not with the way your arms and legs are starting to feel like jelly.
No, no, no. You can’t feel like this. You cannot react to him like this. You’re just not used to this level of attention and affection, that’s all.
“Thank you,” you whisper, daring yourself to wait just a few more seconds before pulling back from him.
You’re forced to excuse yourself, telling him that you need to get changed and begin your afternoon rehearsals in your dance studio. Surprisingly, he lets you go without any protests.
And as you swiftly walk back to your bedroom, it’s a great mental effort to block out any and all thoughts that begin to swirl through your aching brain.
No thoughts, no thoughts, no thoughts…
And definitely no feelings.
-
True to his word, Silco must have spoken to his staff because all of a sudden you’re greeted with a simple ‘good morning’, or at the very least an amiable nod, by everyone you cross paths with. Some of them even begin to call you by your name and you quickly jump on the chance to learn all their names too.
Besides giving you some desperately needed hope that you might finally be able to gather some allies in this gods-forsaken place, it also greatly boosts your mood. You no longer feel so isolated; a downright miracle, you think, given your situation.
A few days later, you make your way down the corridor to Silco’s office, your newly increased motivation making you more than ready to see what information you can tease from him today.
You’d come to the realisation that if you learnt more about Silco and his order of operations, you might be able to use that information against him. Whether that be through blackmail, or selling his secrets to the other chem-barons in exchange for help at the performance, or even just learning a piece of information that could be the key to your escape.
Silco had regretfully cancelled your usual lunch together because of some last minute meetings he’d been forced to endure, so you only had the one remaining chance today to see what plans you could make regarding the chem-baron performance.
But when you grasp the handle and push open the door, you’re stunned to find that nothing is set up for dinner like it normally would be.
Silco glances up when you enter the room, his whole body buzzing with annoyance until he recognises you, and a heavy, tired sort of relief sweeps over him. Then, his head snaps to look at the clock on the wall, as if your arrival has suddenly alerted him to just how late it is.
“I’m sorry, darling, I must have lost track of time,” he sighs, running a distressed hand through his hair.
“That’s okay,” you reply, trying not to feel disappointed. “I’ll just head back down to the kitchen and grab something.”
Now that you’re thinking about it, you should probably get something for him too. He most likely hasn’t eaten in a while, especially if he had meetings at lunch.
“No. Stay,” he says, as he sluggishly pulls himself to his feet and makes his way over to you. “I shouldn’t have neglected you for so long. Let me order something for the both of us.”
You’re just about to protest but by the time he arrives in front of you, the tension in his thin body makes it look like he’s about to crumble from stress. Silco carefully places a hand on your arm, his eyes wide and pleading despite the pronounced bags under his eyes.
“Alright, I’ll stay,” you tell him, smiling at him warmly.
It appears to melt some of the stress as he relaxes with a sigh that borders on the line of being shaky. The hand on your bicep strokes down your arm tenderly before he reluctantly breaks away to go to the door.
You hear him giving instructions to the guard while you grab your book from the shelf and get yourself comfy on the sofa.
A part of you feels a little bit bad that he’s so tired and worked up. Something must have happened to cause such an abrupt increase in workload like this.
But the driven, determined-to-escape part of you is focused on the potential for blackmail. Maybe he’ll be more likely to open up to you more in this vulnerable state.
Once he’s finished giving his orders, Silco closes the door and crosses the room to no doubt chip away at more work before the food arrives. And as he slumps back into his chair, you refrain from asking him how his day has been.
You want to wait until he’s too tired to even think about what he’s saying.
Turning away from him so you can’t cave in to your impulses, you only get halfway down the next page in your book when the door opens again, revealing a visibly annoyed Sevika. She hovers in the doorway, seemingly not wanting to even step foot in the lion’s den.
Your gaze bounces back and forth between Silco’s stony expression and Sevika’s stubborn one, morbidly wondering who is going to win the intense staring contest.
Oh, who are you kidding? The lion wins, of course.
“Otto has… requested another meeting,” she announces gravely when Silco’s scowl deepens minutely, indicating he’s run out of patience with the short-lived game.
A muscle tics in Silco’s jaw and he grinds out one, pestilent word.
“No.”
“He’s waiting outside. Says he won’t leave until you see him,” Sevika continues, taking on the air of a messenger who really does not want to get shot.
“I’m busy,” he retorts. It’s said without any emotion, but you can tell by the twitch in his good eye that he’s really irritated.
Unfortunately, Sevika either doesn’t realise this, or just doesn’t care.
“Seriously, boss, he won’t shut up about-”
You nearly jump out of your skin when Silco slams one hand on the wood of his desk.
“He can sleep on the fucking floor of the club for all I care, I am not seeing anyone else today,” he yells, in a rough voice that you’ve never heard him use before. “Now, get out of my sight.”
For a few, strained moments, you think that Sevika is going to yell back, but she appears to rein it in before curling her lip into a snarl. She slams the door shut with a heavy thud that rattles the door frame.
You can practically taste the charged air as you and Silco sit in silence, your lips pulled into a thin line while Silco stares at the door with an expression that seems to be a mixture of strain, anxiety, and pure murder.
He doesn’t even look at you as he abruptly stands from his chair, the motion sending it rolling back in a half-circle. Then, he takes carefully measured steps to his bedroom door, opening it stiffly and entering the room like he’s one wrong move from completely exploding.
You wait for three long seconds before pulling yourself to stand.
Deep down you know you’re not scared of his anger anymore, but you also can’t just leave him when he’s so upset, so you reluctantly follow him into the bedroom.
And as you peer into the darkened room, you find him sitting on the edge of his bed, dark mop of hair hanging down as his head rests in those large palms of his. The door creaks a little when you push on it, alerting him to your presence so as not to startle him.
He doesn’t move an inch.
You cross the room with an inaudible sigh and gently sit down next to him on the bed, waiting for him to work through whatever’s going on in his head.
“I apologise that you had to witness that,” Silco tells you after a few quiet moments, his voice strained and tight.
It’s only because you know he can’t see you that you allow yourself to roll your eyes. You watched him choke out a man only days ago and he’s worried you’re upset because he shouted at someone?
“I… I don’t want to accidentally take out my frustrations on you, darling,” he stresses, his hands clenching against the side of his head.
The statement shocks you a little bit. Your husband would never have said something like that. Something so caring and mindful of your wellbeing.
Your brow furrows as you examine Silco’s posture of utter distress. What’s worse, the inside of your lip is then promptly bitten when you notice that it’s making your heart squeeze in your own mirrored distress.
You sigh quietly.
Why does he have to be so thoughtful? Why couldn’t he just make it easy for you to hate him?
“Silco,” you breathe, slowly and gently placing your hand on his shoulder. “I really appreciate you not taking it out on me, but it’s okay to feel frustrated.”
He doesn’t respond to your attempts to validate him, so you wordlessly motion for him to lie back on the sheets with you. To your surprise, he allows you to guide him backwards to the middle of the bed until you’re both comfortably lying on your sides, facing each other.
Then, you surprise yourself when your arms slowly wrap around his thin frame, pulling him against you in a comforting hug. Your legs naturally tangle together, only coming to rest when you’re both comfy in each other’s embrace.
It’s not until you begin to stroke his back with easy, soothing motions that he goes completely boneless against you, releasing a deep and heavy sigh.
“Why don’t we both take a break for the rest of this evening, hmm?” you mumble calmingly against his sternum.
Silco tightens his arms around you like he doesn’t want to ever let go.
“I’m afraid I can’t take the rest of the evening off,” he replies, just as quietly.
You open your mouth to argue when he continues. “However, if I finish the bulk of this paperwork tonight, I will have time to take you out somewhere pleasant tomorrow morning. Just the two of us.”
Well, you’re not going to say no to going somewhere outside The Drop, even if it is with him and more than likely an entourage of guards as well.
“That sounds lovely, Sil,” you tell him, squeezing your own arms around him in a quick, acknowledging hug.
He sighs again and pulls you even closer, tucking your head beneath his chin. For a second, you think he kisses the top of your head, but it’s so featherlight, it could have just been a brush of air.
Convincing yourself that it was nothing more than another exhalation, you’re just about to start asking questions to glean some useful information from him when he shifts slightly and exhales in one long breath.
But within it, he speaks a heart-wrenching question in a timbre so low, you’re not entirely sure you’re meant to hear it.
“What would I do without you?”
You can’t help the way your heart pangs at the raw vulnerability of it, and it makes you falter enough to hold your tongue.
What is he going to do when you’re gone? And why does that make you feel so… unsettled?
The new emotion throws you for a loop, so you lay there for a little while longer, just quietly holding one another while your brain runs on overtime. It feels like barely any time has passed at all by the time your food is ready and delivered to Silco’s office, so you both get up to eat, resuming your usual routine.
Once you’re finished, Silco insists that he’ll be okay for the rest of the evening, so you return to your room alone, wondering what the hell possessed you to comfort him like that. To abandon your plans of manipulation and extortion for a rare moment of compassion.
It doesn’t take you long before you’re convincing yourself that it was necessary in selling the lie that you’re his loving girlfriend, who cares about him and his well being. That you’re getting strategically closer to him until you have enough information about him to strike.
But you can’t shake the odd feeling in your chest no matter how much you tell yourself it’s all fake.
-
The next morning, instead of completing your daily stretches in your studio, you get dressed for a trip out, not knowing where Silco has planned to visit.
He keeps tight-lipped as you walk through the club arm-in-arm, but he can’t keep the little, excited smirk from his scarred lips. In the carriage, you pester him with questions until he relents and tells you that it’s somewhere he found in his youth.
Well, the words he actually uses are ‘broke into’ but, you know, it’s the thought that counts.
It takes less time to arrive at your mystery destination than you were expecting and before you know it, you’re climbing out of the carriage to find yourself at a row of shops only metres away from the bridge to Piltover. A knot in your throat, you forbid yourself from even looking across the River, lest it ruin your mood entirely.
He ushers you quickly into a quaint little flower shop, a line of guards following you in whilst two stay outside.
You’re surprised to see that there’s no other customers in such a beautiful store, but it quickly crosses your mind that Silco probably paid the owners a considerable amount to close the business for you both, so there would be no risk of anyone seeing you.
Once inside, Silco takes your hand in his and leads you up the rickety stairs where you discover a beautiful rooftop garden, filled with a kaleidoscope of flowers and plants. Ivy covers the trellis walls and each path between the rows of greenery are lined with smooth cobblestones.
It truly is a hidden gem to the darkened city that lies beneath it.
You spend the next hour or so looking at all the vibrant flora in turn, having to hold Silco back from trying to buy you every single flower that you say you like the look of.
Talk comes surprisingly easy as you slowly walk up and down each row, gazing at the beautiful wildlife together. A strange light feeling sits within your chest and Silco holds your hand pretty much the entire time.
When you’ve finished looking at each of the plants, he leads you to a bench and produces another picnic basket for you to share some lunch.
Truthfully, you’d been hoping he’d agree to take you to a café, having not been to one in months now. But he’d told you that it would have been too risky, which you infer to mean that any nice café would be somewhere visited by Pilties and therefore people more likely to recognise you.
That particular pipe dream out the window, you resolve to enjoy your morning as much as you can as you sit on the bench gazing peacefully at the myriad flowers on display.
Remarkably, you find it rather easy to not get caught up in your thoughts, simply appreciating the fresh air and the quiet.
Just being out and taking a break from the usual routine is honestly refreshing. It almost reminds you of the night you’d spent with Silco on the mezzanine of the club… up until the point you’d gotten blackout drunk, of course.
Next to you, Silco shifts a little until his leg is pressed flush against yours, so you turn to look up at him. As expected, he’s already looking at you. But what you don’t expect, is the look of pure captivation spread across his features, like he’s completely enamoured as he gazes at your face.
You break out into a confused smile, your head shaking slightly in a questioning motion, because you’re not even doing anything. All you’ve done for the past few minutes is sit quietly and stare into space, but Silco is peering down at you like you’ve just promised him the moon.
You’re just about to ask him why he’s looking at you so intensely, when he squeezes your hand, and speaks in the most reverent and soothing tone you’ve ever heard from him.
“I love you.”
It feels like a bolt of lightning has just torn through your chest.
Sweet Janna.
That was somehow much more powerful than the last time he said it. Much more honest and personal. And heartfelt, like it was the most casual, straightforward concept he’s ever known.
Somewhere within you, you know you should be trying to use this to your advantage, exploiting him rather than desperately trying to figure out how it makes you feel. But you’re too distracted by the feeling of your heart thudding in your chest and the racing journey your mind has embarked on.
You have no idea what it all means, why you’re reacting so viscerally.
You definitely don’t love him. You’re not entirely sure you even like him.
But gods, does he make you feel so confused and upside-down and like you’re drifting out to sea when he speaks to you like this.
“I- uh, I…” you stutter, unsure how to respond.
Silco gently holds your cheek, guiding you to look at the small, understanding smile on his lips.
“It’s okay, darling. You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know how I feel,” he reassures you, so softly and gently.
When you’d first locked eyes with the Eye of Zaun across that museum gallery, you would never in a million years have thought he’d be capable of something like this.
A question pops into your head before you can stop it.
Can love change a person for the better?
Could love change you for the better?
The jolting thought feels akin to stripping back a layer of your soul, especially when you lock eyes with him once more, your expression dropping as you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable in front of him.
Whatever Silco is thinking causes him to mirror your expression, his whole demeanour falling into something terribly raw in a matter of milliseconds.
Then, he begins to lean forward slowly, his eyes never once leaving yours as his lips get closer.
You force yourself to stop him, a flutter of panic rushing through your veins.
If you kiss him, you’ll be giving a piece of yourself away to him, and you honestly don’t know if you could turn back if he owns even just that small sliver of you.
You place a hand on his chest, halting his movements.
“Sorry,” you blurt out, a little too breathlessly for your liking. “I don’t kiss before marriage.”
It’s a cynical little deflection and you know it. But it’s also a means of self-protection.
Automatically, you expect anger, or at the very least frustration, so you prepare yourself for it when you lean back to view his expression in its entirety. Instead, you’re greeted with another tiny, little curl of his lips.
“Alright,” he says, a soft hint of amusement lining his words.
You blink. Then his meaning dawns on you.
“Wait, what?”
His smile grows a bit wider, almost evolving into a smirk. Silco uses one hand to push himself up from the bench and the other to reach into his coat pocket. Your eyes dart to the little black box that appears in his hand and a new wave of panic races through you.
Without thinking, you grab onto his arm and pull him to sit back down on the bench with a bouncing thud, before he can even think about getting down on one knee. Your fingers dig into his forearm as you clutch onto him tightly.
“Please tell me you’re not proposing,” you say desperately, your whole body heating up at the very idea.
Silco chuckles, gently prising your fingers from where they press into his arm and lifting them to plant a quick, chaste kiss on the back of your hand.
“Not yet, my lovely. When I do propose, I want it to be perfect.”
You bite the inside of your lip, hoping he can’t read what it really means.
Fuck, you really didn’t want to marry another old man. At least, not one you weren’t actively manipulating for money.
Unaware of your inner turmoil, Silco hands you the box and you look at it with barely masked trepidation. The hinges of the box creak gently as you slowly open it, finding a necklace laid carefully on a piece of black velvet, to your immense relief.
No engagement ring, thank fuck.
Looped through a delicate silver chain is a dainty, little star charm, lined with tiny gems so shiny, the daylight peeking through the flowered roof of trellises bounces off them.
You have to stifle your gasp of wonder. You’d been gifted plenty of nice necklaces in your time living Topside, but you’d never been gifted one with sentiment.
How did he know you have a fascination with stars?
Silco carefully observes your reaction, but it isn’t until you meet his burning gaze that he puts a gentle hand on your knee.
“You are the light of my life; brighter than any shooting star in our vast galaxy,” he rasps. “I want you to remember that every time you wear this necklace. I want you to always be reminded of how much I love you.”
You sit in dumbstruck awe as he takes the necklace out of the box and unclasps it. It almost feels too natural as you go through the motions of turning to face away from him so he can gently sweep your hair to one side.
Silco reaches over your right shoulder and then the left to catch and place the necklace against your sternum, re-fastening the clasp until it sits comfortably just above your collarbone. But instead of pulling away like you expect, one hand smooths down the side of your ribcage as he presses a lingering kiss to the exposed skin above your shoulder.
You hate the way you have to fight against the shiver your body threatens to produce as he does.
This is all so unfair. All so messed-up. He’s both metaphorically and quite literally putting you in chains, slowly weaving you further and further into his web, despite how desperately you try to fight it.
And if you hate how your body is reacting, you absolutely detest the way your heart seems to think this is, if not a bit cheesy, actually a little bit romantic.
The thought startles you, your eyes snapping wide open just as they were starting to get heavy-lidded.
You’re getting in far too deep. You need to get out before he completely brainwashes you. Before you sink even deeper under his dark, sirenic spell.
-
Another week passes, but your confused feelings stay, no matter how much you try to focus on escaping. The battle between your ruthless determination to leave and your base instinct to be cherished grows more difficult with every passing day.
It’s not helped any further when Silco pops his head around the door of your studio one morning asking you to visit him in his office when you’ve finished stretching. An unusual request, made infinitely more unusual when he tells you to bring along some pointe shoes as well.
So, pointe shoes in hand, you make your way down the corridor to his office wondering just what the hell this enigmatic man could be planning now. Perhaps he’d gotten impatient and wanted a demonstration of what you’d choreographed so far. Or maybe he wanted another ‘lesson’, especially after he’d expressed his desire for you to teach him how to dance.
But why would he want you to dance in his office after commissioning you a brand new, custom built dance studio?
By the time you’ve reached his office door, you’ve imagined countless different reasons, all of which you shake from your head with a quick rap of your knuckles on the smooth wood. It’s a formality more than anything because you don’t wait to be granted entry, immediately pulling open the door and stepping into the emerald-soaked room.
Silco is already looking up at you by the time you shut the door with a careful click.
“Sweetheart,” he greets warmly from his desk.
“Silco,” you respond with a polite nod, entirely at odds with your subtly coy tone.
He gets up from his chair as you take a step further into the room, finding yourself overcome by a sudden bout of nerves, stemming from the fact that you don’t actually know what he’s got planned for you. So you decide to break the ice with some good old fashioned, harmless flirting.
It’s normal to only start flirting with your partner when you’re months into a relationship, right?
“So, where do you want me?” you ask coquettishly.
Silco smirks from where he stands in front of his desk before a husky growl leaves his lips, leaning forward in anticipation with the salacious word.
“Everywhere.”
You huff a breath of laughter, surprised by how easily you’re flirting with someone you once feared more than anyone else in Runeterra. But the easy feeling is short-lived because Silco abruptly turns and stalks into his bedroom without another word.
Your face drops as you stay rooted to the spot.
Shit, why did you have to say that? This is not the time to address all those puzzling feelings you’ve desperately been trying to shake ever since he’d confessed his love for you.
To your immense relief, Silco emerges a few moments later, holding out in front of him what is, without a doubt, the most beautiful costume you’ve ever seen. Immediately you recognise all the little details that you’d designed in the sketches you’d shared with Silco.
You can’t help the way your jaw goes a little slack as you take it all in.
The whole costume is a haunting pearly white, giving it the air of a ghostly, dreamlike dress. The hard bodice is subtly decorated with delicate lines of pearls, whilst the tulle skirt is long enough to flow all the way down to your calves, in the style of a Romantic tutu instead of the Classic short style that is commonly associated with ballerinas.
Of course, the eerie design had been deliberate. Your muse when designing both the choreography and the costume had been the ballet Giselle; a tragic tale of a young peasant girl who dies of a broken heart and is resurrected as a ghost, joining a collection of spectral, unwedded brides, who rise from their graves at night to tempt and kill any young men who wander too close.
Your grisly choice of story had been entirely defiant. Stubborn to the end.
Partly, you’d just been very drawn to the haunting aesthetic of the unwed spirits. But a part of it was you boldly stating that you’ll never be as foolish as Giselle is in the story. You’ll never die of a broken heart and you’ll certainly never give yourself so wholly to a man who will eventually betray you.
In your eyes, you relate much more heavily to those vengeful brides, the ones who will kill any man who gets too close to them, who try to hurt them. Those spectres that force men to literally dance until their death, when their exhausted bodies and minds can take no more.
That is what you were imagining when you first began to craft your performance for the chem-barons. And seeing that creation become real in front of your eyes is almost ground-breaking for you.
But despite seeing your muse come to life, you can’t ignore the little whispers inside you that quietly tell you that your vision no longer fits. Silco is no longer just a black-and-white villain, like he was in the beginning. He’s something more now.
Something you’re not ready to address.
You can’t shake the feeling that it all feels wrong now.
“Silco,” you whisper shakily, as you stare at the costume in his hands. “It’s… it’s perfect.”
“You designed it, my love, it’s only perfect because your wonderful mind willed it to be,” he replies, bringing you back to the present.
It’s not until he speaks that you almost crash into the realisation that if the costume is ready, the performance is likely to be very soon.
You bite your lip nervously.
You’re not ready, you don’t have a plan yet, you don’t have any weapons, or allies, or escape routes.
You’re not ready, you need more time, you-
“Will you try it on for me, darling? If it needs altering, I’ll have to send it back to the tailor,” Silco asks gently.
“Yeah, sure,” you mumble, still distracted by your racing mind.
You walk towards him and carefully take the dress in your other hand, pointe shoes still hanging down by your side as you hold them by the ribbons. Silco kindly gestures towards his bedroom, so you go in and set the costume down on the bed before closing the door to get changed.
It doesn’t take you too long to put on the costume, as well as the tights and jewellery Silco had left on his bed, and the pointe shoes you’d brought with you of course.
With a quick look in Silco’s floor length mirror, you’re satisfied enough to exit the bedroom, finding him perched on the edge of his desk waiting for you.
The expression that is slowly unveiled on his face as he drinks in the sight of you is enough to make your breath catch in your throat.
No-one has ever looked at you like this before. Like you’re the incandescent Northern Lights in his dark, shadowy world.
He looks like he’s in complete, love-struck awe.
You slowly walk towards him, willing your limbs to stop trembling when you finally stop in front of him, a few steps away so he can look at the whole costume.
After a beat, Silco pushes to stand from the desk, but he doesn’t move any closer. He just stares, his lips parted and his eyes full of pure wonder.
Feeling like you’re about to burst from the building tension in the air, you begin to turn slowly, letting him see the whole outfit. As you do, you can’t help but notice that it fits you really well.
The tailor that Silco hired had done a fantastic job, especially considering you’d only met the small, elderly man for the briefest amount of time in your dance studio. Of course, it hadn’t helped that Silco had scowled at the poor man the whole time he’d been taking your measurements, and had practically growled when he’d tried to measure the inseam of your leg, all but shoving him out the room.
Honestly, you’re surprised the costume fits at all since the tailor had definitely not been given the chance to take all the measurements he’d needed.
Silco carefully steps forward from the desk until he’s in your personal space. Then, he begins to run his long hands over the costume reverently. His fingers trace the pearls on your bodice, slowly travelling up and down the hard material that shifts with every shallow movement of your ribcage.
A flush of heat spreads across your upper chest at his touch, causing you to take in a deep, slow breath. Silco’s eyes catch yours at the sound and it only serves to fan the flames.
“You are beautiful,” he rasps, his voice full of barely restrained desire, “Enchanting. Ethereal.”
You’re forced to hold in an unexpected gasp when he sinks to his knees in front of you, finger tips trailing down the long skirt until he gently grasps the hem between two fingers.
His gaze meets yours once again and you instantly feel as if you’re going to melt into a puddle, heat pooling at the apex of your thighs.
It’s like you’re a god. The devil himself on his knees worshipping you, his seafoam eye a divine mixture of carnal lust and sacred reverence.
“Silco,” you whisper shakily, a wave of emotions rapidly spreading through you.
Gods, what is he doing to you? Why do you feel so… so torn?
How does he just know exactly what to say and do to make you doubt everything you’ve ever known?
It almost makes you feel bad that you’re planning on doing something terrible while wearing it for real. Bad enough for you to really consider what outcome you actually want for the fated performance.
-
Legs stretched out, one crossed over the other as he leans back on the edge of his desk, Silco stares breathlessly at the office door that you’ve just exited through.
He can’t get the image of you out of his head. That dress and the way it accentuated all your beautiful curves. The devastating way you’d looked at him. And gods, the way you’d said his name.
When Silco had first found you up on that stage, he’d been sure that his admiration for you could never grow any deeper. But now, he feels like he’s falling harder with each passing day.
Now, he knows that what he feels for you is love. Richer, still as all consuming as those first days of pure, unadulterated obsession, but now that feeling grips his soul too instead of just his body.
A loud thud on the desk behind him sounds through the office, but Silco doesn’t flinch. He’d heard his daughter entering via the rafters minutes before, just after you’d said his name in a way he’d been utterly desperate to hear for months now.
It’s also why he hadn’t attempted to kiss you or touch you any further, despite every nerve in his body practically screaming for it. Instead, he’d stood back up and deliberately asked you to rehearse your routine in costume a few times before returning it to him at dinner.
Originally, Silco had been awfully frustrated and borderline furious that you were taking so long to accept his advances to kiss you. But now, with his newly realised love for you, he finds himself slowly coming to accept that it might take a bit more time.
And surprisingly, he’s okay with that. No, he’s more than okay with it if it means you feel comfortable and secure in his presence.
Silco recognises that this is no longer the time to contemplate those sorts of feelings and urges, temporarily switching it off because he can hear Jinx begin to fidget with his eye injector behind him.
She’s tellingly quiet, and Silco lets her be, allowing her to process whatever it is she’s thinking and trying to articulate.
“Who is she? Why is she here?” she asks finally, in a tone that is undoubtedly accusatory, but he can spot the hurt she’s trying to hide.
Silco stands from the desk and walks back around to his chair, waiting until he’s sat back down to analyse her mannerisms and facial expressions. With no instant response, she continues, moving her legs from their casual crossed position to being hugged by her tattooed arms.
“You’ve changed. Ever since she got here, you’ve…” she trails off for a moment, probably searching for a way to not reveal what she’s really feeling. “You’re just different.”
Without asking, Silco knows what she really means. She feels left out.
It’s been only them for so long now and she’s worried that he’ll suddenly give up on her. Like he ever could.
“Pumpkin, she’s not here to replace you. You are my daughter and you will always be my daughter, no matter what,” he reassures her, placing his hand on the desk a few inches away from her leg.
He knows the signs when she’s feeling too rattled to even endure a gentle hand on her shoulder, so he doesn’t push it.
Jinx frowns, staring down at the injector she keeps fiddling with, pointedly avoiding his gaze.
“You didn’t answer me. Why is she here?”
Silco tries not to inhale and exhale too loudly, lest she interpret it as him being frustrated with her. He’s not. He just struggles to discuss his love life with anyone, let alone his teenage daughter.
But she keeps asking and it’s clearly affecting her, so he tries to be honest with her. If only to convince her that this change by your arrival is a positive one, and not one that he means to upset her with.
“Jinx, child,” he says candidly. “She’s here because I’m in love with her.”
Of course, she looks utterly shocked by his confession. And then, in her confusion, her lips curl into distaste, her words turning hurtful because she doesn’t understand what it means to love someone like that, so she lashes out instead.
“She doesn’t love you back, you know,” she retorts flatly. In a matter of fact.
Silco’s good eye blinks slowly and he purses his lips as he leans back in his chair.
“She’s getting there,” he sighs eventually, slowly raising his head to gaze up at the rafters. “She’s getting there.”
PART 9
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A/N: Giselle has been my favourite classic ballet since I was 8 and my favourite modern ballet is Christopher Wheeldon’s Alice in Wonderland, if anyone’s interested!! If you have a favourite ballet, let me know! -el x
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Taglist: @pinkrose1422 @ursawastricked
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