do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
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Self talk here but if I were to do a crossover of MXTX's works I would absolutely have Shen Jiu and Wei wuxian meet. Not only due to the vast, horribly vast differences in their personalities and their ideals (caring for the rest at the expense of yourself vs. hiding the crimes you've done for your survival) but also because Shen Jiu is the prime example of becoming a great cultivator despite your humble beginnings, yet it also reassures him that to become such a cultivator, he must hide away everything that has made him different in the first place.
For the most part, MDZS is talking about the classism within the martial arts world, this wuxia world specifically. But upon bringing Svsss(PDIW to be more accurate) and TGCG into the mix, Wei Wuxian is no longer the only character that has humble beginnings. And even if Wei Wuxian knows about Jin Guangyao, it keeps being a constant reminder that he can only be someone respected if he agrees with the rest. If he become someone he isn't.
And yet when Shen Jiu starts to open more about who he really is, probably having nowhere else to go now that the one and only Emperor of 3 realms is out for his ass, Wei wuxian and him have some common differences that makes them stick to each other and bring out the best for the sake of everyone's survival.
(Beware this has somehow become a drabble idea below)
I'd mostly put their meeting of Shen Jiu being a ghost that just walks around the burial mounds (former Qing Jing Peak before Bingge decided to release hellfire him here alongside his body.) Unable to find peace for all the things he had done in life that made him regret everything. And then one day, finding this boy, exhausted, to the brink of death, and yeah, absolutely should have died where it not for whatever cultivation he is doing right now. He tends to the boy, having nothing else to do in this desolate place, and with the knowledge of his former peak, as well as the rest of the knowledge he has done while trying to escape Luo Binghe for the remaining years of his life, he knows a thing or two about refining resentful energy (heaven knows he is using most of it right now to never be under the Emperor’s clutches) so he helps the boy live, and the youth thrives on that survival.
A few months in as he lives, as he learns to play his flute and gather enough strength, Wei Wuxian tells his story to his sort-of-master, from the new clans to the hatred to the stories of his family, his last remaining siblings. Shen Jiu can no longer resent anyone else, so he doesn't become jealous of the boy and instead finds these new stories somewhat, amusing. Boring to a man who lived many things, but something worthwhile as he lives here, alone.
Shen Jiu never had a reason to eat and he doesn't plan to, but he has to get food for the boy, so he haunts some places here and there, scaring weird loons while this child laughs about the way they screamed and fled from his sight. He often wonders to Shen Jiu why he doesn't reveal that gloomy face of his, and Shen Jiu, after much pestering (and somehow the boy never pushing the line, as though he has dealt with someone like this before), he relents to tell his story, not his background, and leaving a lot of details here and there, but Wei Wuxian gets it, this tired, worn down ghost was once the most famous cultivator from the most famous peak lord of his era. Shen Qingqiu, the Xiuya Sword of Cang Qiong peak. Oh, no wonder he knew so much about martial arts.
But he can't believe it at first, such a deflated ghost once the most beautiful and prestigious man, until his secrets where found that is. He is likely more remembered for that than the rest, although Wei Wuxian developed over the months a bit more of an interest for those hints of a humble life than for the dramas that are heard in all 3 realms.
Half, unable to leave this place and half unwilling to be recognized by anyone else, Shen Jiu is left to ponder about his life again in the silence of the Burial Mounds, sometimes finding new corpses to bury, other times finding the ash of his past sect. He does ponder whenever or not it is a good idea for him to have raised yet another revenge filled lunatic and set it free in this world, but at least he feels calm knowing that the youth isn't out to kill him in any way.
However, it seems the youth, no longer so youthful though, is absolutely out to irritate him when they find each other again. And with no explanation whatsoever, Wei Wuxian delivers him some 50 or so people under his care. His and Wei Wuxian's care.
Everything then starts to bring him back to those days in Qing Jing Peak; A-Yuan's playful attitude the same as Ning Yingying when she first entered his peak. Wen Ning's respectful obedience like that of Ming Fan. The small herbs slowly being planted, turning back the green from a long lost bamboo forest. The kindness of the Granny Wen and Si-shu almost reminiscent of his assended Shizun.
And that fight between Jiang Cheng, who Wei Wuxian informs him of being the same brother he once gave the golden core to, the same brother he live and fought alongside for many years. It almost strangles him to see a vivid picture of Bai Zhan's peak lord in him. Shen Jiu, while dealing with his new disciple's injuries, slowly unwraps everything he sees in him, the path of revenge Luo Binghe has taken, the path of glory Shen Jiu has taken, all of that is what Wei Wuxxian is slowly becoming.
But unlike Binghe, he will not last any longer, and he doesn't want to become a resentful ghost like his master, he has to find a way to leave his demonic cultivation all behind. Ironically, the same man and the same teachings that made him live had been the same ones to ruin him, just as he had ruined himself and the Emperor’s mind forever.
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