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raayllum · 1 year

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Quick run down: 4 is the lowest typical score given, 10 the typical highest score given (although you can technically go up to 12). Making my post because I noticed Callum’s Justice ranking was at 6 (lower than I’d expected) and I always meant to do a lil more formal comparison between the trio so here it is I suppose.

Devotion: This is value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others.

Truth: This value is about fidelity, certainty, and authenticity. You’re motivated by finding strength in facts and by the principle and pursuit of knowledge

Glory: Have you ever wanted to be celebrated by history? This value is about legacy, fame, and fortune. You’re motivated by praise, acclaim, and your desire to be remembered.

Justice: Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, virtue, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right.

Liberty: Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression.

Mastery: Have you ever needed to rise above your own limits? This value is about control, achievement, and skill. You’re motivated by power, growth, and progress.

Similarities:

Glory is a 4 for all of them. Utterly unsurprising I think - they’re all willing to do things regardless of recognition and aren’t motivated by any real self importance

Truth is a 6 for all of them. I find it interesting that Callum gets the “hide the truth to protect others” rather than Rayla, but we do see elements of that in TTM. For Ezran, it has less to do with a moral truth (Rayla) or how to handle the truth (Callum) but more to do with maturing to see the truth (“I ignored something that is true” —4x03)

For anything other than their Most Important Feature, everything else has roughly an 8. This makes sense as it is still a core value, i.e. Callum jumping off the mountain is very devotional, Rayla works very hard to find real justice, Ezran cares a great deal about placing autonomy in other people’s hands (S3), etc.

In Betweens:

Ezran and Rayla both have Mastery at a 6 with Callum having it at an 8; this makes sense as he is driven to look for knowledge and power (through magic) in ways they are not / are mostly settled and/or disinterested in

Ezran and Callum both have Devotion resting at 8 - high, but not their highest values. This makes sense as according to the game, Devotion is how obligated you feel to others. Ezran feels beholden to Katolis but that’s something he’s largely grown into, and he feels a wider responsibility to the world at large, moving in between them as he can. Callum is very devoted to his loved ones (mainly Ez and Rayla, but also Zym in a lot of ways) and his desire for freedom often interplays with a desire to have autonomy/capability to protect and/or provide for them in key ways.

Rayla and Ezran have Liberty at an 8, showing that they value freedom (Rayla’s bio includes her goal to free all people from terrible fates like the one she almost had with the binding ceremony, we’ve gone over Ez’s, etc) even if it’s not as high as Callum’s - but more on that later

Highest Values

Ezran’s is Justice at 10. This makes sense as he is the series’ embodiment of Justice thematically as well as the series’ Witness. This reflects his role as the peace maker for elves and humans and dragons, both politically and interpersonally with Callum and Rayla in S1 and S4 in particular. It is also embedded into the fact that his death itself would have been Justice and his survival is what allows true justice to actually continue, his decisions as king, and the fact he’s king at all, per Harrow’s words: “My father told me that about all, I must be a Just king.”

Callum’s is Liberty at 10. This foreshadows his arc in season four in terms of a complete loss of control/freedom and why it screws with him so royally. While many of the characters agonize over making the right choice (or a choice at all), not having a choice at all is what torments him the most: “I can’t do anything!” (2x07) particularly when it comes to protecting or helping his loved ones. We see this especially in his quote under Liberty in which despite being crown prince and heir to the throne, he states that he is beholden to his inner circle rather than a sense of duty. In S4 he is concerned about Aaravos hurting his loved ones, and that fear of doing awful things to other people is what has him so especially worried over the situation, reaffirming his statement that “I value those close to me more than anyone or anything” certainly.

Rayla is Devotion at 10. At first glance it’s easy to take her “My only allegiance is to my heart and those that know it” as a similar kind of sentiment to Callum’s “I value those close to me” statement, but we know what Rayla’s heart is aligned with: “My heart for Xadia.” Her heart is given to whatever she feels her duty is, to what feels right, hence why she risks everything for Phyrrah, someone she doesn’t know at all, simply because leaving the dragon there results in “every fibre in my body is telling me this is wrong.” Bloodmoon Huntress also expands on this further, drawing comparisons to her and Runaan’s sense of duty and love for the whole world, as well as precisely what led her to take on the assassination mission in the first place. In S1-S3 Rayla gets better at listening to her heart rather than shutting it down, although this has changed in S4. She’s learning to prioritize her loved ones more and more, but at the cost of her actual heart.

Misc Notes:

For Callum, it’s worth noting that Devotion and Mastery (magic) are of equal value to Callum and are definitely two cornerstones of his more hands on arc. Thus, we can likely deduce that as much as Callum undeniably values Liberty, the fact it’s his highest value is also because it’s the value that informs and guides his arc the most Thematically. This means that his desire to learn magic and be there for his loved ones is of equal measure in terms of his decision making, but we also see him clearly prioritize his loved ones in ways he does not do with his own pursuit of magic.

[ Side note: And just as a comparison, Claudia - Claudia’s - devotion is also an 8, but Mastery is her 10, even though so much of her arc is driven directly by devotion to her family (although her bio makes it clear it is supporting her family and her father, not merely her valuing them, as the distinctions are important too). ]

Following this “Two Pillars holstered by One Theme” logic, we can break Ezran and Rayla down into a similar manner.

Rayla is defined by her initial quest of Justice and a growing sense of Liberty (cue: being literally freed from her binding, other symbolic cycles, etc) but this is bound together and streamlined through her Devotion to a cause to people and her family. We can see S4 bring this together directly in her devotion to Callum and her family and how they are both either already literally or becoming entangled / entrapped in forces beyond their control with Rayla wanting to free / protect all of them.

For Ezran, this means he is defined by his place as Justice thematically first and foremost, with Devotion and Liberty as his two tether-hooks: re a child king being put in chains to try and give his people a choice > forced conscription, as well as the work he’s doing to try to create peace and a Narrative of Love (devotion) in S4.

Thus, the highest value for each of the Trio is what informs them at their core and subsequent thematically, with their two respective pillars as how those things are motivated and manifest throughout, with of course a good dose of overlap beyond all three. But either way, I just thought it was Neat™

Closing Note

One thing I found interesting when actually going each beat of their bios is that Rayla and Ezran are inverses of each other and very closely aligned. They share the exact same 3 values, all in similar amounts (either 8 or 10) and just rotate one out for their respective highest: for Rayla, Justice is at an 8, and for Ez, it gets bumped up to a 10 and his devotion down to an 8. This closeness between them, and how Callum diverges, lines up with how I’ve thought of and how I’ve written each of the trio for a while now, re: meta dated September 2021 about this exact difference, well before TOX came out.

Because Callum, strangely enough, does not have Justice™ as a particularly high value. It’s actually on the lower end of his scale, with other heroic characters like Amaya, Janai, and Aanya having it as a 10, an 8, and 8. The only none villain adjacent character (Soren, Viren, Claudia) with a Justice as low as Callum’s is Lujanne, and Callum’s justice ranking is the lowest of the trio’s. This is interesting particularly because Justice is defined by fixing what’s wrong/broken, a sense of fairness and balance. And while Callum wants to have positive impacts on the world and make things better, it shows that his big heart is also equally if not more so tethered to pragmatism, perhaps, compared to his family, even in decisions made like leaving with the egg in the first place being what was also safest for the egg and particularly Ezran during the attack on the castle.

And well, if you know, you know ;)

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direwolfwargs · 2 years

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Here’s the thing that house of the dragon has made me realize. Rhaenyra has, at every point, every single one, been given the benefit of the doubt. Even among royalty she is massively privileged, as is Daemon, because of viserys. There’s loyalty to your family and then there’s willful blindness. And to a certain extent, it’s understandable, it’s almost kind, that viserys truly is so devoted to Rhaenyra, but we know, and she knows, it’s out of guilt. Ep1 Rhaenyra makes clear her relationship with her father is not close, he wants a son and she doesn’t want the crown anyway. It’s only after Aemma and Baelon’s death, when she’s named heir, does he put her on this pedestal, and even then in her youth he still acts like a father, chastises her and curbs the privilege that he and Daemon had at her age. But it’s not out of love, it’s because he killed her mother, and she’s all he has left. Same with Daemon, if he loved Daemon, truly loved him, he would recognize that he cannot control him, but Daemon is all that’s left of Alyssa and Baelon.

Yet he never extends this privilege, this benefit of the doubt, to his children by Alicent. I won’t speak of Alicent here; she has her own issues with privilege and responsibility in dichotomy to Rhaenyra and smarter people than me have gotten into it. But what few interactions we’ve seen of him with Aegon and aemond(none with helaena, I might add) he does not treat them like family, like his children, and certainly not like princes. Hell, the interrogation of Aemond in ep7 mirrored the events in GoT that led to Lady’s death, an act that ultimately drew a massive rift between Sansa and Arya as sisters. I’ll come back to that.

Viserys is not solely to blame. Alicent is just as complicit. It is one hundred percent clear from the get go that her children are a duty and an obligation, and while they maybe weren’t always and that’s come from years of shitty marriage, it’s true come episode 6. She gives aegon no privacy, gives aemond the bare bones amount of sympathy, doesn’t even attempt to understand helaena. And aegon says clearly in ep7 that Alicent betrothed him to helaena; a match that he, at least, clearly wasn’t happy with, and though we haven’t gotten helaena’s thoughts on the subject she’s clearly gentle and fragile and does not compliment aegon. The match is pure politics, but it’s not even good politics; blood of the dragon yadayada but Alicent herself is not blood of the dragon. It’s not one hundred percent unknown to marry into other houses; Rhaenys’s mother was a Baratheon, aemma was an Arryn. Alicent could have easily made calculated political matches to secure her childrens futures and secure allies by marrying them to other houses, or for godssakes she could have been done with the whole thing and we’d helaena to have, ensuring Rhaenyra would not harm her children. But no. She has no conception other than what these people with their “queer customs” keep saying about the blood of the dragon, and besides if either of them were to leave kings landing then she wouldn’t have control over them. I mean she slaps aegon in front of a room full of people, her father manhandles the kid, no wonder he ends up being such a shit. But still, of course they end up loyal to her, because she’s the only person giving them the slightest amount of affection or support, no matter how double edged it is.

If there was any love, ignoring love, respect or sense or duty in viserys towards his children there would have been some kind of punishment. Now I agree that taking a kids eye out is a bit much but still, at the very least reprimanding. But no, he harasses his sons over something he knows is true but refuses to believe because then his worldview would collapse. And I compare it to the Lady Incident for several reasons; let me be entirely clear, Viserys is not Robert in this situation, he’s Cersei. Fiercely devoted to their child to the point where they will lie for them, ignore all wrongdoing, anything to stake their claim? Alicent is Ned. And I’m gonna say some stuff about Ned that a lot of people aren’t gonna like now; misplaced devotion to ideals and the conceptualization of people rather than people themselves, obsessed with honor and duty to the point where they actively harm themselves and those they love. And Aemond, like Sansa, lied, threw aegon under the bus out of fear. And if I’m reading my parallels right, their relationship is not going to recover from that. They’re already at odds over Helaena, it’s only gonna get worse. Because of Viserys. And Alicent is no better. She didn’t pull a knife on Rhaenyra for aemonds sake, she did it for herself, for her pride, for her grudge against Rhaenyra.

So it’s no wonder aemond and aegon grow up to hate Rhaenyra, to want her dead. She’s been given everything they’ve lacked, every benefit that their father denied them. It’s fascinating to see, and honestly fucking heartbreaking.

#to be clear I am not pro green or pro black I am a sports commentator #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #viserys targaryen #alicent hightower #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #daemon targeryan

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sigyn-foxyposts · 1 year

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『Introducing yet another ship child!』

Yes, here I am again introducing another shipping child! And it's also norse and Chinese like the last. This kiddo has been around for a while too! 👀

Once again please be respectful! These ships were made by me and my partner, it means a lot to us. I'm simply sharing this for fun! :)

【Introducing the son of: Guan yu, God of war and Heimdallr, the vigilant】

Guan Heigu, god of safe-keeping:

Guan Heigu or just Heigu, meaning ("Black-bone") is the god of safe-keeping, and the son of Heimdallr, the watchman of biftost and Guan Yu, god of war.

His powers: reflects his parentage very well. He is as vigilant, good at hearing and seeing things like Heimdallr, but has quick strategic thinking and the skills to fight in battle like Guan Yu. He is also able to shape shift and is quite strong!

Though perhaps his biggest power that he got from both his fathers, was his sense of protecting the innocent!

And his personality: is at least it's own thing. Protective, values order and security. Heigu may be seen as a reliable and trustworthy guardian who takes his responsibilities seriously and is dedicated to preserving the safety of mortals. Heigu may also values loyalty and duty, and who is willing to go to great lengths to fulfill his obligations and prove his worth as a god.

Heigu's physical appearance: can be described as a young boy, with dark long hair. He is tall and quite muscular for his age, with piercing blue eyes and a stern expression. He is often depicted wearing armor and carrying a long spear.

Heigu is also associated with the colors black, red, white and gold. Which is considered symbols, according to china: Power and authority, good fortune and success, mourning and death, royalty and prosperity.

Heigu's Lore:

Heimdallr and Guan yu, two legendary figures from Norse and Chinese mythology respectively, had always led busy lives, fulfilling their duties with utmost dedication. But despite their accomplishments, they both longed for something more - a child to call their own. They had explored various options for adoption, but their responsibilities left them with little time to devote to doing this. It filled their hearts with sorrow.

However, Heimdallr had a realization - his grandparents were jötuns, known for their ability to shape shift. Heimdallr himself had shape-shifted before, and if Loki could change his sex, so could he. With Guan yu's support, Heimdallr decided to take on the form of a female for the time being and attempt to bear a child.

The process was not easy, but Heimdallr was determined. He endured the necessary transformations and underwent the process of childbirth, with Guan yu at his side every step of the way. Finally, after months of anticipation and labor, their son was born.

They named him Heigu, which means "black-bone." The name was fitting, for Heigu was born with black bones, which was rare. Heigu grew up under the loving care of his parents, who taught him the values of responsibility and duty. He was trained in combat and martial arts by Guan yu, who was a skilled warrior himself. He also learned the secrets of the world from his father heimdallr, who possessed great knowledge over how the world was created.

As Heigu grew up, he proved himself worthy of his birthright and became known as the god of safe-keeping, and people came to him for protection and guidance. He was respected and revered, for his power was unbeatable, and his dedication to his duties unwavering. He was a true symbol of strength, wisdom, and protection, and his legacy lives on even to this day.

Gallery:

"Old family portrait"

"Old art of them together"

"Guan Yu and Heimdallr comforting infant Heigu"

#norse mythology #chinese mythology #ship child #heimdallr #heimdall #guan yu #heigu #gay mlm

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danielslaw · 1 year

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GIRI (DUTY): a danzen fanfiction.

Summary: Chozen deals with the emotional turmoil of finding a broken and bruised Daniel in the aftermath of the 5x05 fight with Silver. The heavy burden of failing the one you devote yourself to protect. This is an old fanfiction I had on my old deleted AO3.

Notes: Amanda and Daniel can be read here as together/separated/divorcing, it does not invalidate the inner turmoil Chozen is going at the moment. He is no subtext, one hundred percent in love with Daniel.

Giri (義理) is a Japanese value roughly corresponding to "duty", "obligation", or even "burden of obligation" in English. It is defined as "to serve one's superiors with a self-sacrificing devotion" by Namiko Abe. It is also associated with the complex Japanese values that involve loyalty, gratitude, and moral debt .

He had felt despair before. That dreadful feeling that creeps on you when you are at your lowest when nothing makes sense anymore. He thought that losing honor was the worst thing that could’ve happened in his life. The shame he felt then, looking into his uncle’s eyes and seeing nothing but disappointment. Life had no meaning then, and it took him years to find his footing again.

Nothing compares to the dread he felt when he found Daniel beaten, bruised, and broken on the ground of Raymond’s house. There was a cold sweat on his back and a voice on his back screaming in agony.

Daniel failed to show up after hours of saying he would be back soon. Chozen had no desire to pack up his things and go back to Okinawa, feeling like a failure as he failed to help Daniel get better. Let that man Silver win. Daniel had said he didn’t fail him then, but now? He feels like a failure.

A promise was made. A silent one to himself. That he would keep Daniel safe, and his family too. He failed on both ends. “Daniel-san.” He speaks as he leans over the man’s body, there is a ragged breath underneath, and brown eyes open to look back at him. They are the same brown eyes that taunt him for decades but there is a lack of light in them that scare him the most.

Daniel looks broken, body-wise, yes, but spirit-wise, he seems to have given up. How long has he been laying there on the ground? He can’t let himself panic, as he gathers the man in his arms. He tries just to pull him up by his shoulders, but Daniel hisses in pain and he has no other choice but to gather him in his arms.

He is light on his arms and he wishes he could pass on everything he feels in that moment. The protectiveness and warmth he failed to give him. Brown eyes close and he does panic for a moment, he cannot go to sleep. It could be the end. “Daniel-san, keep your eyes on me. Do not fall asleep. You must wait.”

And he is aware he has to take him to a hospital. But he remembers Daniel, he remembers how comfortable he was at his own home than at a hospital. A called-in doctor can show up later but his concern is to make Daniel safe. Home is safe. Home is secure.

When they arrive at the LaRusso home, now empty of the voices that kept it alive, he dreads. An empty home. But that is okay, he is there to bring warmth. Daniel does nothing but aches in pain in his arms and when he is placed in a soft bed. He sighs as if at least, he finds comfort in that. And he gets to work, helps Daniel out of clothes that are sticky and bring cold memories, and he shifts them for comfortable ones.

Miyagi’s photo is now staring at him as he finishes the process, washing the blood from Daniel’s knuckles and he feels the weight of those eyes looking back at him. I have failed you, Miyagi-sama. Your son has been hurt .

He stayed. Through it all. Silver drew a wage between the family, and between the students, forcing Daniel to abandon a passion that fueled him and consumed him. He stayed when Daniel drank himself to sleep and when Amanda dragged the kids out of the house and watched as Daniel locked himself in his bed and drank to oblivion. And even as he stayed, wishing to give him hope, it wasn’t enough.

The hand on his is cold, it shakes with each stroke of the warm cloth that cleans the wounds. Fingers twitch around him and Chozen freezes. It feels wrong, to take advantage of that moment, to feel that hand on his own. But he holds Daniel’s hand in his own. And he prays.

For him to find his way again. For Daniel to recuperate from this and to smile again. He barely smiled anymore. The kid he knew then would smile all the time, toothy and wide, and enjoyed dancing and protecting those who were important to him. Who beat him fair and square in a fight and who showed him mercy when all he wanted was to die.

He showed mercy to everyone. Life had not shown him mercy and it does not feel fair. He wants to kill that man for what he did. He wants to carry that burden with him so Daniel does not have to. See, he is gone and he will no longer inflict pain on you . He cannot do that though. Not yet. Daniel needs him, brown eyes opening again, and looks back at him. There is a struggle as he tries to speak. Chozen doesn’t let him start, shushing him and a nod. “I’m not going anywhere, Daniel-san. Rest.”

Brown eyes seem to fill with tears as they close. There is another shake. Chozen’s anger is quelled by the realization that those brown eyes need to hear only comfort.

There will be time for retaliation later. And with an ache in his heart, he calls Johnny Lawrence’s phone for reinforcement. Just at the same time, there are light sounds around the house of kids again, and Amanda comes through the door.

Everything falls deadly quiet when the voices go through the threshold of the room. Amanda gives a shaky breath. Sam chokes. Anthony calls for his dad in confusion.

Do they feel like he does then? Or his giri is his own to be burdened with?

#daniel larusso #chozen toguchi #danzen #cobra kai #cobrakai #cali ficathon #danzen fic

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kitzsah · 1 year

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Heart Attack Exchange 2023 Letter

General Likes:

Worldbuilding and subject matter expertise! All the worldbuilding. I literally have 100K and counting of Chicago-cited (JSTOR articles and all) worldbuilding on the historical/political background of the wizarding world for the fic series I'm working on. I also adore small, lived-in details – so if there’s any particular expertise/personal experience that you’ve always wanted to expound on, consider me a captive audience haha. I’ve literally done method writing for a fic wherein I spent a morning walking around with four feet of yard-stick ruler strapped to my side to get an idea for what carrying a rapier would feel like, so yeah.

Unconventional formats. Seriously, I'm game for whatever you can think of. Textbooks, epistolary, official memorandums, screenshots and text messages, newspaper articles – the world is your oyster here.

Nuanced moral ambiguity and loyalty and duty and responsibility and obligation and necessary evils. I absolutely adore portrayal of duties conflicting with personal desire, people having to make hard choices and then live with the consequences, bone-deep dedication to service, and anything else along those lines.

Character studies. Show me how a character became who they are, show me what facets of their personality emerges in different situations, tell me about how their background impacts how they view the world. Flawed/unreliable narration and close personal biases are absolutely welcome here. Outside perspectives on characters are always fun as well!

Close relationships, romantic, platonic, ambiguous, and otherwise. I absolutely adore close platonic relationships that are no less close or meaningful or devoted for being platonic. I’m talking raze the fields, “Where you go, I go” level of loyalties being my catnip here. And even for romance, show me characters as friends first and how they relate to each other as people, more than the part where they think the other person’s hot.

DNWs:

Porn Without Plot/Plot, What Plot? I'm not entirely opposed to sex, either onscreen or implied, but only if it’s not the only thing happening. You’re writing for someone who’s disinterested in sex (except as a characterization tool) to begin with, so any attempt at smut for its own sake is going to fall flat.

Character bashing. Even the most objectively fucked up characters are still people, in all their good and evil. One-dimensional character bashing/flanderization will not be appreciated.

Crack. Humor and comedy are fine, crack is not. Life can be absolutely absurd sometimes, so if it’s something that could actually happen and fits the characters, go right ahead. Unhinged crack for its own sake will be less welcome.

Suicide. References/mentions are acceptable, as is a character sacrificing their life for someone else, but...okay, honestly, if you’re planning on writing a fic that features suicide beyond a background mention of “X background character killed themself,” just ask through the Mod to double-check that portion of the plot with me.

Revolutionary Arc - kitsunerei88:

Lina Avery

Lina! My favorite mercenary war-mage who will swear up, down, and sideways that she has Absolutely No Morals Whatsoever, No Sirree. Yet someone gets suckered into fighting a war and overthrowing a government for free because the people she loves (for all she will Fervently Deny It Forever) needed that. Also, her attitude toward her Idiot Not Son is just hilarious.

Give me anything from her adventures with Etienne during the Cold War (up to and including emotional angst after he dies/she gets him killed) to Lina’s....Adventures with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement after the war. She’s so not the person to Lead A Whole Administrative Department yet gets stuck with the job anyway. What is she like at job fairs trying to talk seventeen and eighteen year-old British-born muggleborn and halfblood teenagers into joining the DMLE? (She’s probably as good for recruitment as Top Gun is for the Navy haha, and all those baby aurors probably half-worship at her feet) How much times a week does she threaten to quit her job at James and Sirius? What’s her perspective of the post-war political situation in the new Wizarding England and Wales? How many use of force lawsuits and Memorandums regarding appropriate language and conduct does she inspire?

Mikael Kowalski/Annabelle Crestley

I’m way too fond of these two characters that I literally developed from one-line mentions in RevArc ahaha.

I’ll take any and all romantic fluff/adventures with them! Especially since I suck at romance and everything associated. Fluffy dates, Absolutely Positively Not Pining Letters going back and forth between Moscow and NYC, them going “What the actual fuck” at John’s....Everything during the events of RevArc!

Alliance Trilogy - E. Jade Lomax

Lia/Marie Gabrielle & Marie Gabrielle Andrea & Gabrielle Andrea

I loved the glimpses of Ceren religion that appeared throughout the trilogy, and the way that Gregory fell in love with these people and considered them worth fighting for. And holy fuck that scene of the city guard ripping flowers off a little girl's head because it’s viewed as a symbol of defiance/rebellion/treason. I would just love more everything of this.

Anything about growing up as a persecuted religious minority, where something a small as flowers is viewed with suspicion and having to hide your holiday celebration in cellars, the way the Ceren emphasis on blood is something that Andrea and her brothers (who aren't considered her brothers by Ceren society) chafes at. What was it like for Andrea and countless other Ceren children growing up in this world? And honestly, give me everything on Andrea in general - this orphan girls with brothers that her culture doesn’t recognize as brothers, who had to grow up too fast in a world, and asks herself the question of “What do I want to do with my hands?”

What does it mean to be Ceren, to identify as Ceren, in Neria, a hundred years after unification? Marie and Sebastian are Cerens as well, a different stripe (or at least Sebastian was, and Marie grew to be) of Ceren than Andrea and the rebels that we spend most of the series with, and at the very end of Traitor, there's a Ceren boy who's signed up to join the royal guard. How do all of these characters relate to their identity and religion and culture in similar and different ways? Do any of them identity as Nerian?

Gregory says to Andrea, "It [Neria] is [a country]. The people—the ones who don’t meet in your cellar—they call themselves Nerians. Folk from Birnel and Panet live in the city, and they call it home, too. What are you going to do with them? You’re not the only ones who love this land, not anymore. Whatever Sasha’s great-grandfather did, a hundred years ago, this is how it is now." Is he right?

Gabrielle, my favorite and most determinedly ambitious twelve year-old. By the end of the book, she's tentatively making inroads with the Ceren resistance, and realized that she can love her father and simultaneously disagree with his policy, and is grappling with issues of privilege and saviorism and what she owes to her country and its people who have been wronged in her family's name and by her family. One of my favorite Gabrielle scenes is at the very end, when she's shocked to learn one of the royal guardsmen is a Ceren and "The guard stared at her, terrified, and Gabrielle leapt to reassure him, stumbling over her words and wringing her hands. There was a horror low in her stomach. What sort of kingdom was hers, that it hurt the very people who took up arms for it? That it hurt any person under its protection? This boy, in her own black and silver, was staring at her with such fear. Rage rose in her, at her forefathers, her father, at Bray and War and men like Doulings. I will be better. I will— Gabrielle took a long breath. I will listen. I will listen. I will learn." What does she get up to after the series ends? What are her stumbles, what are her successes? What is it like for this determined, too-smart kid who's committed to learning to listen?

Lia and Marie! They’re an A+ romance going on in the background, and I Marie’s line of “I didn’t kidnap any tax collectors or set any

government buildings on fire, but only because I didn’t stay in town long enough. If my cousin hadn’t died, if I hadn’t inherited and been sent to Court, I’d still be an angry, barefoot little girl in the backwoods, and I’d have set whole loads of things on fire by now. If I hadn’t met Lia, and you, my little princess. I love you both. But, if things had gone a different way - I hate that I have to live with the knowledge that in a different life I would’ve been slipping oleander into your tea and thinking myself righteous for it.” A character study of Marie and her journey/falling in love with Lia/coming to this realization would be absolutely incredible

The Fixer Series - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Ivy Kendrick & William Keyes Ivy Kendrick & Adam Keyes

I’ll take everything regarding Ivy’s relationship with the (living) Keyes men here!

William Keyes says, “I never quite figured out how Adam and Ivy met. She was at Georgetown. He went to see her.” That plus William Keyes’ drama-filled line of, “I treated [Ivy] like a daughter, and she put Peter Nolan in office,” plus Adam’s line “Three years ago, you were on speaking terms with my father,” and Ivy’s admission that he taught her a significant amount of what she knows gives me so many questions about the two of them.

What did Tommy tell Ivy about his father? Did Adam introduce her to William Keyes or did he randomly take an interest in a girl from Georgetown and find out that she and Adam knew each other after the fact? How does Ivy feel about working for the man who, in another timeline, might have been her father-in-law? What does/did William Keyes feel about Ivy, from start to finish and everything about how she intersects with his sons? (Seriously, there’s so much packed into the line “Tommy died. I lost both sons.”)

Adam Keyes “must have known that Tommy was seeing someone. And somehow, he found out about [Tess].” What happened there? How much did he know? He visited/met Ivy for the first time (as far as William Keyes knows - which might not be entirely accurate!) when she was twenty and a student at Georgetown and he was home on leave (so he would have been 22/23 at a minimum) and implied/presumably after Tommy died. What was that meeting like? How does Adam feel about Ivy, and the connection to Tommy that she represents? How does he feel about Tess, and Ivy’s decisions regarding her? Ivy is implied to give his opinions about Tess’s upbringing some weight even before he even meets her, given the line of “Three years ago, you were the one who told me to bring [Tess] here.”

Tess Kendrick & Ivy Kendrick Tess Kendrick & William Keyes

Okay, I honestly love Tess and William Keyes’ relationship so much? (His character in general is just intriguing haha). Everything from “No matter what Ivy and my son might have told you, I’m not so heartless as to turn my only grandchild away,” to “[What do you want with Tess?] The same thing I’ve always wanted, dear - an heir.” How does he feel about discovering this grandchild (and legacy) he’s longed for for years? What’s his point of view of their back and forth? Literally I will devour everything about these two.

God, Tess and Ivy and their not-quite mother/daughter yet not exactly sister relationship is absolutely one of the emotional centers of this series. Ivy’s conversation with Tess about how she wanted to be good enough for her not sister, not daughter (but indisputably hers) absolutely kills me. What was it like for Ivy to watch her sister daughter Tess grow up from over a thousand miles away? How did Ivy feel that summer Tess was thirteen and she came to Montana making promises and left away a girl whose heart would be broken and all the stilted phone calls in between? What was going through Ivy’s head when she received that phone call from Tess’ school and she went to the ranch only to be called her mother’s name by her grandfather and every moment when she’s finally living with her sister daughter Tess for the first time? (Seriously, Ivy’s ‘Order what you like from these furniture catalogs on a Saturday evening, they will be delivered here today’ makes me laugh all the time).

Tess Kendrick & Tommy Keyes Tess Kendrick & William Keyes & Theresa Keyes

This would be an AU, but Tess’s line of “I would never know my father. I would never get to meet him, never know if he would have looked at me and seen pieces of himself, if he would have wanted me. If I could have been a daughter he would have loved,” gets me any time. So give me a timeline where Tommy did come home from his tour in Afghanistan! Your choice in terms of how they meet and how this particular cat comes out of the bag and how Adam and Tommy and Ivy relate to each other. This is honestly just me wanting Father-Daughter feels with Tommy and Tess (who’s named after his mother, presumably on his wishes) that the world/fate denied her.

This is also an AU, but William Keyes says in the second book, “I can never forgive Adam for that [denying Theresa Keyes, who Tess is named after, the chance to know her only grandchild]. We could have given you everything you deserved” Which immediately made me imagine a timeline in which the Keyes had, somehow, found out about Tommy’s child. Give me all the chewiness there with a Tess who has grown up either entirely in DC (William Keyes is Wealthy and has All The Lawyers, and would almost certainly skew things in his favor in terms of custody battles) or splitting her time between DC and Montana (this one is probably because Theresa reined her husband in).

(Note: feel free to gloss over the Political Drama And Intrigue haha. Do not feel obligated to figure out High Stakes Plots and assassinations and cover-ups and terrorist organizations and cover identities, I will absolutely adore fics that just focus on, like, the day to day and these tangled and messy relationships. Also, William Keyes’ mansion is supposedly on “the Virginia side of DC,” but in that that description is literally nonsensical geography, I’m pretty sure Barnes meant it to be in Mclean, Virginia (which is the Virginia side of the DC metro area stereotyped as where Rich And Powerful People live). The Maryland equivalent is Potomac.)

Leagues and Legends - E. Jade Lomax:

Jack Farris & George & Liam Jones Beatrix "Bea" Jones/Liam Jones Jack Farris & George

Give me all the Mountain Vigilante stories. How did Jack and George meet for the first time, when did Jack realize the obisidan-eyed girl he told his name to at the tavern because he hadn't known who she was was Cassandra Graves, show me their logistical network and caches set up to smuggle mages to safety, how did Bea root herself in a bakery and meet (and fall in love with) this whistling desert boy and two kids trying to mend the world as best they can, how was Challenge founded and constructed and what was the Northern Rangers' reaction and cooperation with the vigilantes of the mountain?

Lanetia "Laney" Jones & Liam Jones

Liam! He's a worldsinger, a talent that is explicitly noted to be rare and extraordinary in this world, for all that neither Jack or Laney call attention to it as such. "When [Laney] was eight, Liam was twenty and feeling trapped and useless." What made him leave the desert to go wandering? What was it like being able to hear the Elsewhere and whistle up magic? How did he he meet Jack and George for the first time and get into the Vigilante business and fighting the graves? I'd love for something where he doesn't die and Laney meets him and they actually get to have A Conversation because seriously, his departure really did a number on that little girl.

Earth Girl Series - Janet Edwards:

Tellon Blaze

Tellon Blaze and the Chimera Wars! That dude leaves such a long shadow on The Military to the point that even 250 years later, His Original Chair is still held in a place of honor in Military HQ. It's also practically outright stated in the Draco books that the Public Story Of Tellon Blaze and What Actually Happened are two very different narratives/closely held secrets. All of humanity views him as a war hero who was a military cadet visiting Thetis when shit hit the fan and heroically stepped up and was rewarded with laurels and pomp and a clan of the gentes maiores, but Draco talking to his father says that he was actually a civilian tennis-player with zero intentions of a military career when Thetis happened.

What's going on there? His order of "Nuke it to cinders" (and 'Let the stars go dark') is famous a quarter of a millennium later - what was that like, for Tellon Blaze? Anti-chimera detectors are on every military equipment and portal several centuries after the incident, and even the mere rumors of chimeras is enough to throw humanity into a panic, so what exactly went down during the wars (which are always mentioned in the plural)?

On that note, the history/origin of the Honor Child tradition (especially if there’s a connection to Tellon Blaze) would be absolutely fascinating as well. It's mentioned at some point (I think in the Drago books) that that was a tradition that arose during the Chimera Wars due to the sheer number of dead - so what happened there?

Jarra Tell Morrath I/Riak Torrek Jarra Tell Morrath I & Draco Tell Dramis

Jarra the First and Draco were two kids raised in this crazy cult/organization by Cioni's apprentices, who discovered their identities as Tell Clan members pounded on the doors of the Tell Clan Hall demanding entrance. It's implied that these two reacted very differently to their fucked-up upbringing: "My impression was that Draco was always fixated on the past but far too angry to discuss it, while his sister just wanted to focus on living a normal life in future. That seems consistent with what I was told about their clan welcoming ceremony. Draco was still changing his mind about his chosen name an hour before the ceremony, while his sister never once wavered from her decision to be Jarra Tell Morrath."

What happened? Exactly why did Cioni's Apprentice want embryos of the Tell Clan? How did Jarra the First and Draco escape? What was it like assimilating into a very different environment? What's the story of Jarra the First’s military career and her eventual relationship with Bard and Riak?

Gemena Raya Feren & Marack Tell Galad & Jarra Tell Morrath Jarra Tell Morrath & Riak Torrek Gemelle Tell Feren & Jaxon Tell Galad & Jarra Tell Morrath Gemelle Tell Feren & Jaxon Tell Galad

Seriously, Jarra contacting her parents and learning that they wanted a relationship with her only for them to be killed in action weeks later is such a cruel twist of fate. Like, an entirely realistic twist of fate, mind you, because Life Sucks Like That and Jarra’s Life Especially Consists Of Cruel Twists Of Ironic Fate. I get the plot necessity of it, but still, I’ll take all the canon-divergences here.

AU where Jaxon comes to his senses even a few days sooner and Jarra is never handed over to Hospital Earth and grows up with both parents, secure in the knowledge that she’s Loved And Is A Tell Clan Member.

AU where Jarra contacts her clan at fourteen like her friends did. She has no fucking clue why she does it (possibly Isette badgered her into it), she’s entirely doing it to make her friends happy, she fully expects things to go down in flames and figures she might as well get it over it. Except, to her complete shock, her family actually wants her. Her parents come down, there’s probably Much Yelling at Hospital Earth, and teenaged Jarra gets bombarded with all the love. Seriously, re-reading Earth Girl and Jarra’s (justified) bitterness is so painful after the Drago series because you know that her family wanted her so badly and they loved her so fucking much.

AU where Jarra’s parents don’t die during that behavior event in Kappa Sector and they come visit her on Earth while she’s working on the dig sights and all the ensuing emotion fraughtness as she figures out What It Means To Have Parents And Family as an adult.

Riak Torrek’s POV of the Honor Ceremony! Seriously, that dude had, what, a handful of hours’ notice? One minute he’s doing Solar Array Command Shit, the next is that he’s getting a notification that his long-lost granddaughter, who the entire family has thought they’d never find, has been identified. Not only that, he’s immediately tasked with leading a memorial ceremony for said long-lost granddaughter - a memorial ceremony commemorating the honor and sacrifice and service of his deceased wife. I’m honestly impressed that he kept his composure as much as he did during that scene.

I’ll also take all the scenes of Jarra with her siblings. Anything from Jaxon’s Situation Re Fidelis Breach finally being brought up, to just sibling bonding, to the...whatever the fuck Jaxon and Gemelle’s relationship has been like for the last two decades (because Gemelle said in one of the Drago books that she and Jaxon don’t/can’t have a normal sibling relationship as a result of what happened to Jarra all those years ago) and maybe even some of that being mended.

The Dark Artifices - Cassandra Clare:

Julian Blackthorn/Emma Carstairs Julian Blackthorn & Emma Carstairs

I know canon is all about Julian and Emma’s forbidden love story, but I honestly fell in (non-romantic) love with these kids because of their relationship to war and tragedy. Julian’s line of, “I came of age in the Dark War. I was baptized in blood and fire....I killed my own father. You think I won’t kill you son?” made me scream. These kids were twelve when their world fell apart around them and they lost almost everything, when one promise of, “Aren’t we forever?” in a desperate attempt to cling to what little they had left ended up almost ruining their lives. They’re kids who they ran for their lives and grew up in war and knowing (and bearing) the cost of sacrifice and necessity. So for prompts, honestly I’ll adore any one of a hundred moments in the years between the end of the war and the start of the Dark Artifices.

Julian writing to the Clave every year to try to bring his sister home, stepping into Arthur’s shoes and running the Institute, teaching himself how to cook because his family needs him, trudging up the hill with groceries, becoming a father at the age of twelve (seriously, Tavvy is two when everything goes to hell, he literally doesn’t remember any parental figure other than Julian)

Emma, who spends these year honing herself into the sharpest weapon possible until she’s known as the second coming of Jace Herondale even though she says she’s “nothing special” (God, that conversation with her and Cristina), who throws herself into avenging her parents’ death, who needs to be the best Shadowhunter that she can be.

These two kids in general, really, who have lived through war and are five shades of messed up and too young and have their own language and wake up from nightmares and crawl into each other’s beds in an attempt to keep the bad dreams away.

Julian’s POV of waking up in Lady Midnight to discover that Emma had taken his place and is currently lying on the floor in front of the institute, whipped half to death.

Canon-divergence where Emma finds out about Julian running the Institute and the Uncle Arthur situation earlier and she helps him shoulder the burden - because he’s her parabatai and her best friend and how could she do anything less?

Or, for something less heavy, a fluffy slice-of-life (or, well, as fluffy as any canon involving Children And A Society At War, because that’s what Shadowhunters are, even without the whole Morgenstern Situation) canon-divergence AU where Emma and Julian got to remain children a little while longer - playing side-by-side on the beach, bonking each other with wooden swords and making faces at each other. A world where Julian never has to know how bitter Necessity tastes, and Emma never seeps herself in vengeance.

Legally Blonde Musical - Hach/O'Keefe/Benjamin:

Emmett Forrest/Elle Woods

I have a soft spot for this musical haha, and especially these two. I’ll honestly take anything about these two and their relationship?

Emmett’s perspective on meeting Elle (and, you know, falling in love with her) because his background in terms of socioeconomics has so much potential (”Chip On My Shoulder” is an absolutely amazing song)

Elle’s POV on realizing that the love she’s traveled all the way to Harvard to find/get back is actually standing right next to her in the form of Emmett.

Emmett’s POV from Legally Blonde to Legally Blonde (Remix) and events that happen in between? How does he feel about Callahan assaulting Elle, what does do, what happens offstage that we don’t see?

(Note: I’ve never actually watched the Broadway/MTV edition. When I think of this musical, I’ll always think of my high school production of it with the fondest of memories, and I will be forever grateful if any small details mentioned match that my high school’s production rather than any of the official version. The only plot significant one is that Legally Blonde (the song) is sung with Emmett and Elle on opposite sides of her dorm room door (I know some productions have it staged so that he and Elle are in the same room) so that she doesn’t hear him go, “What about love?” Others are: Paulette is Black, Enid is Desi, Bruiser is a fluffy white Bolognese rather than a Chihuahua, Emmett has dark blond hair and wears glasses and has a habit of rocking his weight back and forth on his feet)

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astrobydalia · 3 years

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👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Relationship observations pt. II💘

Hello guys!! In honor of Valentine’s day here’s a part II of one of the posts you loved the most which is relationship observations. This one is pretty long which is what you guys preferred. Hope you like it!

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

💘 People with pisces ASC/moon/venus, Venus in the 12th and Neptune in the 7th or conjunct the ASC-DSC axis: it’s so SO easy to make them feel guilty. The type of people to easily feel like it’s their fault when others mistreat them and bc of this they could be more prone to attracting abusive people and narcissists

💘 Also, nobody talks about this and I understand why bc Neptune can be very tricky planet but I think it’s worth mentioning that Neptune is a very spiritual planet that represents unconditional love and therefore can mean true love or a real soul connection so the ruler of the 7th house making an aspect to Neptune, Neptune in the 7th, Juno in the 12th, 12th house synastry etc. can mean true love and a real soul connection in marriage. HOWEVER true love and a real soul connection feeling can often be confused with delusions which is why this planet gets such bad press in relatioships and remember 12th house a lot of times is karma so PLEASE be careful

💘 Venus ruling the 7th, venus in the 7th or Venus aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates a strong desire to marry for love. Very possible that the person won’t marry unless it’s for love. This also indicates good marriage life

💘 If you don’t have this it of course doesn’t mean you won’t marry for love or won’t marry at all so don’t worry. What I’ve seen in people who don’t have this is they are quite independent when it comes to relationships, they don’t mind getting married but they don’t mind not getting married or staying single either. While people who do have this Venus influence could be low-key obsessed with getting married or having a commitment/relationship

💘 Mercury ruling the 7th, mercury in the 7th or Mercury aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates marring someone that is funny, someone you can always joke around with

💘 Don’t overlook Chiron in synastry. The house where someone else’s Chiron falls in your own chart could be where you feel like this person is a pain in the ass or where this person will help you achieve great potential

💘 Check Chiron in composite too, it represents where you may feel like you can never agree on or where you often agree to disagree

💘 Once you gain the trust of someone with Taurus Venus they are the absolute SWEETEST people ever

💘 Libra Venus love getting ready for someone special

💘 Check the ascendant in your Juno persona chart, it has some significance as to the energy around you meeting your spouse similar to a composite rising but more subtle energy. For ex. one of my friends has gemini rising in her Juno persona chart and she met her husband when we were in high school when she was about to be picked up by car and she was also holding books in her hands and when she saw him he was with his brother.

💘 The rising in the Juno persona chart also indicates appearance or overall vibe of spouse. For ex the husband of this friend I just told you previously (Gemini rising in her Juno pesona chart) has a very youthful and boyish vibe almost like a teenager he’s also very witty

>>>The actual composite rising you end up having with your spouse or the natal rising sign of your spouse doesn’t have to be the same as the rising of your Juno persona chart. I’ve seen this actually happening before but it doesn’t have to be

💘 In 4th house synastry specially with sun/moon/rising/venus, the house person will naturally see the planet person as a parent or a potential parent. Meaning, somehow the house person “judges” the planet person by deliberating how they’d be as a parent. With this overlay the house person naturally takes care of the needs of the planet person (said needs will be determined by the planet and sign in question) and that’s why the planet person will inevitably see the house person as a good potential parent

💘 There are lots of placements and asteroids that indicate your sexual turn ons but I think that the most potent ones are Lilith, Eros, your 8th house and the ruler of the 8th house. I’ve noticed that these represent specially erogenous zones for you and parts of the body you’re specially attracted to (aside from your kinks and stuff). For example Cancer: breast or nipple, Gemini: lips or hands, Taurus: waist and neck, Leo: hair or back, Sagittarius: hips or thighs etc.

💘 Mars can represent this too but what I’ve seen is that your mars represents more so HOW you like to have sex. It mostly represents how you like to physically approach the sexual act

💘 8th house represents your sex style, the overall vibe or attitude you want in the sexual act. For ex you may like being dominant during sex with mars in Capricorn but want the sexual act to feel emotional and vulnerable with Cancer in the 8th or raw and fiery with Aries in the 8th

💘 Also, your 8th house is EVERYTHING when it comes to feeling satisfied sexually regardless of your kinks and turn ons. If you have sex that checks all the boxes for all your kinks/turn ons but doesn’t match up with your 8th house energy you will likely end up feeling low-key unsatisfied

💘 Couples with their moons in sister signs (or opposing moons) are either the perfect couple or a fucking disaster

💘 In my opinion, Sun-Moon, Sun-Sun or Moon-moon contacts in synastry are essential for a relationship to work out or last

💘 People with Juno retrograde are the MOST cautious when it comes to marriage, they could be a bit picky and often give the impression they’re not interested in commitment at all specially if it’s placed in Aquarius it gives huge Mr./Mrs Independent vibes

💘 Juno in a water sign gives player vibes, they are the type jump from person to person and likely have a long history of flings and flirting. These people have dated around A LOT and will only commit to that one person that truly manages to capture their heart deeply

💘 Juno in a fire sign are the type of people that wanna marry their crush two weeks or even days into meeting them. They often mistake “attraction at first sight” for “love at first sight”. The second they feel they have real good chemistry with someone they think it’s the love of their life

💘 Juno in an Air sign people need to feel like they really click with someone and they will want to commit only after really getting to know the person. They fall in love with the person’s mind first. They can easily un-crush someone in a second if they don’t like the person’s mind

💘 Juno in an Earth sign people are the most coutios when it comes to commitment. They migh deliberately delay marriage just to be SURE they are getting a reliable future and wanna be certain that it’s the absolute right time

💘 Before starting with the composite observations, you should know that synastry is the dynamic between two people but composite represents what the relationship really is, so that’s why on this post I’m focusing on composite

💘 I’ve noticed that the 2nd house in a composite chart indicates the “glue” or foundation of the relationship, its stability. Mars in this house could create a relationship based on sex for example, Venus a relationship based on love and affection, Saturn a relationship based on stability and compromise etc.

💘 4th house and moon in the composite represents the depths of the relationship. How you guys feel deep down about each other, how you make each other feel. This part of your relationship shows specially when you get true and honest with what are your real feelings

💘 Aquarius or Uranus in the 4th house, Aquarius moon or Moon conjunct Uranus in the composite creates a whole deal of emotional detachment for each other. Could be very emotionally cold to each other and one or both could see the other as insensitive specially if one of them has natal water or fire moon

💘 Aquarius Sun or risings in the composite however is huge best friend vibes regardless of the nature of the relationship. Moon conjunction Uranus can also get away with giving this vibe

💘 Virgos and Scorpios naturally find each other because they tend to have composite Sun in Libra :) So that togetherness and companionship energy is natural for them

💘 Aries moon in the composite chart is that type of relationship where any insult actually means “I love you”. Is that type of dynamic where one’s like “I love you, stupid bitch” and the other goes “🥰🥰” and then they both laugh

💘 Pisces moon in the composite is cute but also a bit tricky if afflicted, the couple could constantly feel they have to watch themselves in order to not hurt or offend the other, like constantly walking on eggshells. Needless to say also these relationships are very intuitive, if one or both are lying or hidding something (which often happens with this placement I’ve seen), the other just KNOWS

💘 Saturn in the 7th in the composite is very good aspect for staying together long-term but it can also mean that the couple is for some reason “forced” to be together or to see each other. They come together due to circumstances and not necessarily by choice (Saturn represents responsibilities, burdens or obligations). You have to look for indicators of love and romance otherwise it’s gonna be a relationship that stays together but more out of duty than real love

💘 Juno in the 4th house in the composite (specially conjunct some planet) is more indicative of marriage (or loyalty/compromise) than Juno in the 1st

💘 Vesta exactly conjunct South Node in the composite creates a STRONG soul-mate feeling and great devotion. These relationships are so long lasting the type where you just know you’re gonna be together your entire life

💘 Chiron in the 1st in the composite chart = feeling uncomfortable with each other, like you’re incompatible or like you don’t click together at all. Can also create a “can’t be together” vibe but not in a platonic Pisces way it’s more like there’s some incompatibility that can’t be salvaged and “stops” the couple from meeting/coming together or the relationship from taking place at least at first. Basically the relationship feels broken before even starting. The sign Chiron is in gives insight as to what’s the nature of this incompatibility.

💘 Saturn in the 8th in the composite = reluctance to have sex, one might have been sexually rejected by the other

💘 Chiron in the 10th in the composite = you don’t like working with this person. I have this with one of my best friends, we tried to run an IG page together and it was a disaster lmao

💘 Sun and maybe Venus in the 10th house in the composite indicates your relationship is source of gossip or at the very least everybody knows about your relationship

💘 If a composite planet or point falls in your natal 10th house then the relationship might affect your reputation

💘 The most harmonious and the most healthy relationships I’ve seen had empty 7th house empty 12th and empty 8th house in the composite. Literally 0 drama, 0 tensions, 0 codependency and surprisingly unbreakable (supported by other aspects of course)

💘 With that said the number 1 best house for synastry or composite in my opinion and based on what I have seen is the 9th house both friendship and relationship, also the 5th, 4th, 2nd, 11th, 3rd

💘 People who have your DSC sign as their moon sign will strike you quite strongly. Not necessarily their moon falling in your 7th or conjunct the DSC (tho this is stronger) I’ve seen that the fact that someone has your DSC sign as their moon sign is enough to create a little “crush” feeling or you feel like you can’t hate that person bc may see them as cute.

💘 The people I’ve seen that have gone through a harsh divorce mostly had in their natal chart: North Node in the 7th, Chiron in the 7th house, Saturn rx in the 7th house, Jupiter Square Uranus and planets or angles in Aquarius degrees (11°, 23°) specially if Venus or Moon are in these degrees or conjunct a planet that is in these degrees. These indicators can apply to breaking up a long-term relationship, breaking an engagement, etc. except probably Jupiter square Uranus. This one is particularly a divorce aspect specially in women’s charts. Also, side note, if Pluto or Uranus are involved, these people may have a devastating divorce or breakup

💘 Composite planets in the composite 12th house can create a feeling like the relationship has an expiration date. One or both people are for some reason constantly anxious that the relationship might end. If they stay feeding these energy they’ll likely have a self-fulfilling prophecy

💘 Pisces rising in the composite makes for a very psychic bond. Could be the type of relationship where you’re thinking and wondering about them and boom they suddenly text you. These people are usually there for each other bc they intuitively know when to be

💘 This is probably a no-brainer but many life-long friendships I’ve seen had stelliums or planets in the 5th house-11th house axis or the 3rd house-9th house axis of the composite

💘 With Leo rising in the composite I’ve noticed these people always have very funny stories to tell about stuff they’ve been through and lived together. There’s a lot of “remember when...” followed by loud laughter.

💘 North north node in the composite 5th house is a great placement

💘 6th house placements in the composite and synastry creates a dynamic where the two people and the relationship itself ends up feeling extremely predictable. The couple may find one specific routine or activity they like doing together or they always find themselves doing the same 3 activities every time they are together. This can be good or bad depending on what you want in a relationship, some people find it extremely boring or understamulating and others prefer it because it gives them a sense of stability or reliability

💘 Moon conjunct Chiron in composite is indicative of a healing relationship

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

#astro #astrology #zodiac #astro notes #astro observations

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impiren · 2 years

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TDP main characters in Tales of Xadia

No one ever posting this...right? right?

So this are Claudia, Soren, Callum, and Rayla as characters in Tales of Xadia from newest trailer in today's Critical Role stream.

I play dnd3 and pathfinder and I'm not going to play Tales of Xadia, but I guess it's kind of lore to the show and a way to learn more about those characters.

picture from this video and trailer start in 1:54:15

I'll but those character introduction and their values here in case anyone wants to read in words . (specialties and assets not included)

It's quite interesting to see how those adorable characters are written in a rpg game.

First in case you don't know what values means in Tales of Xadia. It's represent what matters to you character and why you character do what they do.

also you can read it here

Devotion: Have you ever been obligated to others? This value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others.

Glory: Have you ever wanted to be celebrated by history? This value is about legacy, fame, and fortune. You’re motivated by praise, acclaim, and your desire to be remembered.

Justice: Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, righteousness, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right.

Liberty: Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom, independence, and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression.

Mastery: Have you ever needed to rise above your own limits? This value is about control, achievement, and skill. You’re motivated by power, growth, and self-development.

Truth: Have you ever sought out all the answers? This value is about fidelity, certainty, and authenticity. You’re motivated by finding strength in facts and by the principle and pursuit of knowledge.

Without further ado, let's go!

Claudia

as the snarky daughter of Viren, Claudia has had to wince thought some rough choices lately. Many she doubts, but not if it means protecting or trusting her dad. Even then Claudia knows that kingdoms and customs aren't everything , and sometime you have to think outside the box. She still cares for her friends, Callum, and her brother, Soren, despite Viren drawing her further and further away.

Values (values numbers in "[ ]")

1)Devotion[8]: I some support those I care about over more rational choices.

2)Liberty[8]: I make independent choices, but am unquestionably loyal to my father.

3)Glory[6]: I make pancakes fluffier, dose that count? Also, magic dark tentacles

4)Mastery[10]: The depths of dark magic are too valuable for humans to ignore

5)Justice[4]: Rather than obsess, I assume the ends justify the means

6)Truth[6]: Eh, Truth depends on your points of view, really. And lately, things got weird.

Soren

Soren has taken his lumps, as it were, from going toe-to-toe with a dragon to defecting from his father’s army. The former taught him a chance to prove he’d found it. Even cockier than his sister, he’s only just realized where his true loyalties lie. As hard a journey as it was he is just as confident it was the right one.

Values (values numbers in "[ ]")

1)Devotion[8]: Sometimes the best tactic is to abandon tactics for what really matters

2)Liberty[6]: Being independent from my king and father is new to me, I’m still a proud crownguard.

3)Glory[10]: There’s nobody I can’t beat. Yes, even that person you think just beat me.

4)Mastery[8]: Staying at top of may game defines much of my life

5)Justice[4]: I want to do the right thing-just tell me what it is, huh?

6)Truth[6]: I used to let advisors worry about truth but I’m all-in on knowing it now!

Callum

Goofy and good-hearted, Callum is young but has seen much. From the loss of his parents to the rise of his brother to the role of King of Katolis, it’s…been a lot. Callum possesses a natural gift for staying on task and accomplishing great things, including being the first known human to master rune magic without a primal source.

Values (values numbers in "[ ]")

1)Devotion[8]: I value those close to me more than anyone or anything.

2)Liberty[10]: I’m beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom

3)Glory[4]: Making a mark matters, but it doesn’t need my signature on it.

4)Mastery[8]: I aspire to know the great wanders of every primal magic.

5)Justice[6]: Doing what’s right will require some tough choices.

6)Truth[6]: I use humor to deflect the truth, and sometimes I hide it to protect others

Rayla

Rayla’s had enough of Xadia’s lies. After being forced into an impossible pact to assassinate an innocent prince, she has made the prince her best friends and gone on a journey to free every elf and human from such terrible fates. Though exiled from her own people, she is determined not to look back in grief.

Values (values numbers in "[ ]")

1)Devotion[10]: Love and devotion compel and define me.

2)Liberty[8]: My only allegiance is to my heart and those who know it.

3)Glory[4]: If those I care about really get to know me, that is all the legacy I want.

4)Mastery[6]: I’m naturally talented-so quit bugging me to practice!

5)Justice[8]: At great peroneal cost I will strive for what’s right.

6)Truth[6]: I search for my own truth, rather than the truth others feed me.

Any thoughts? welcome to share here.

#tdp #the dragon prince #callum #rayla #rayllum #tdp claudia #tdp rayla #tdp callum #tdp soren #soren #tales of xadia #tdp analysis

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 28 - ao3 -

The answer, it turned out, was paint.

It wasn’t an answer that Lan Qiren would have anticipated in any way, shape, or form. He had been under the impression, as had Lao Nie, that Wen Ruohan had stopped painting long ago. After some teasing by Lao Nie, the man had even off-handedly confirmed it at a private dinner they’d shared at a discussion conference – there had been more than usual planned in this past year, accounting for the fact that all of the Great Sect sect leaders (except Wen Ruohan) were unusually young, and therefore active. And although no one acknowledged it as a reason, everyone knew that it was also meant to help calm the concerns of the smaller sects regarding the chaos in their Great Sect leaders’ personal lives, between Jiang Fengmian losing his servant to his beloved or possibly the other way around, Lao Nie’s extremely bizarre marriage situation, and Lan Qiren stepping up unexpectedly to the position of sect leader on account of his brother’s retreat from the world.

According to Wen Ruohan, it hadn’t been anything in particular that had made him stop painting, only a lack of time and then of interest; there had been a severe crisis some time ago, long before either of them were born, and he had been obligated to devote himself exclusively to those affairs for an extended period of time. When he had finally resurfaced, years later, he had returned and found an old painting sitting there half-finished, and staring at it, realized that he was no longer the same man who had begun it.

He had never painted again.

Lan Qiren was unsure if this was a real story or not – Wen Ruohan, he had learned, seemed to consider the truth about his past to be little more than a gentleman’s agreement between friends – as it seemed to be an especially pointed reminder aimed at Lan Qiren’s situation in particular.

Lao Nie had certainly taken it as such, throwing in his own concerns about Lan Qiren’s work schedule, and when even Cangse Sanren had joined the growing mob of all the rest of his friends, Lan Qiren had finally, if reluctantly, agreed to defer to their concern. He’d finally taken a step back and reorganized his duties as sect leader, standing his ground against the elders and insisting on having more time to devote to his own interests, including those outside of his work as a teacher – music, study, quiet contemplation, even maintaining his training with the sword, despite the fact that he would never match his brother as a sword cultivator.

It had, in fact, made him a better sect leader, less prone to working until he burned out, and he was grateful to his friends for their wisdom and steadfastness in the face of his stubborn grief.

At any rate, though, Wen Ruohan was no longer the painter he had been in his youth, and the hints of burning that marked all such paintings that Lan Qiren had seen suggested that the transition had been an unpleasant one for him. It was a surprise, therefore, to receive, as a gift from the Nightless City, a painting in that immediately recognizable hand which was so freshly made that Lan Qiren imagined he could still smell the grinding ink.

The painting depicted a dragon amidst a misty bamboo forest, its massive coils interwoven throughout the bamboo until it appeared almost part of the earth from which they sprung, or alternatively that speared through from above by a rain of spears; in its claw it held a beauteous dragon pearl, shining bright against the dark haze that surrounded the rest of the painting, and its eyes were fixed upon it as if it had forgotten all else.

The pearl, Lan Qiren presumed, was himself, given Wen Ruohan’s fondness for comparing him to one, which Lan Qiren still did not entirely understand – while he knew it was a sign of Wen Ruohan’s appreciation for him, and an indication that he treasured him, he thought that the particular choice in the type of precious stone was likely to be due to the fact Lan Qiren largely preferred white and grey and silver for his clothing.

(Privately, he had determined that one day, out of sheer spite, he would wear an outfit primarily composed of blue for no other reason than to give the other man a shock; he just hadn’t found a reason yet to justify the expense of having such clothing made when he would only use it the once.)

Similarly, the dragon was the symbol of imperial might, of overweening power and influence and even arrogance; naturally that would be Wen Ruohan himself. But as for the rest of it – the lonely but beautiful bamboo forest, often associated with moral integrity and loyalty, yet juxtaposed in this painting as piercing spears, penetrating the dragon’s hide as if attacking him – the dark mist that seemed to envelop the dragon, held at abeyance only through the light of its pearl –

Lan Qiren did not understand.

There were too many meanings possible, and he did not know how to differentiate between those that were there and those he only wanted to read into it. There was nothing for it, but that he would need to ask the artist himself what was meant.

When, as expected, an invitation came a few days later, requesting that Lan Qiren visit the Nightless City in his capacity as Wen Ruohan’s sworn brother, Lan Qiren accepted.

There were all the necessary pleasantries when he arrived, of course. No longer could he just slip in through the back door, a younger brother come to leech off some resources from an elder; he was the Lan sect leader, and that came with certain obligations even on a casual visit. There were a few formal procedures, and then dinner with Wen Ruohan and his wives, with whom his dynamics had completely reversed – Madame Wen had thawed towards Lan Qiren on account of his new position as sect leader, which guaranteed that he would never be able to move to the Nightless City and thereby obstruct her personal power, while the new concubine, former maid, seemed to think that his involvement in her ascension to the position she now held was a matter of embarrassment, resulting in her wanting to snub him whenever possible.

Wen Ruohan largely ignored their antics, his eyes fixed on Lan Qiren throughout their meal, and afterwards, he had finally dismissed them all and taken Lan Qiren back to the small study he preferred to use for their time together.

“The painting you sent was lovely,” Lan Qiren said, playing a little with the cup of tea that was warm and aromatic in his hands. “You have lost none of your skill.”

“I rebuilt it,” Wen Ruohan corrected, looking amused. “You ought to have seen the first few efforts; I think I wasted enough paper to feed a small family for a year.”

Lan Qiren smiled at the thought. He could scarcely imagine Wen Ruohan struggling the way he described, making an effort and finding his ability wanting; still less could he have once imagined Wen Ruohan having admitted to that fact in front of another.

It was a little like what Lao Nie had said, that between the two of them they were excavating the residual humanity left in Wen Ruohan, slowly and methodically moving aside stone and dirt in order to find the treasures lurking beneath.

“I like it even more, then,” he said, and decided to be a little bit bold. “I like knowing that you thought of me for as long as it took you to make it.”

Wen Ruohan’s eyes curved in delight. “You need not be concerned on that score,” he said, his voice still calm and unhurried as always. “You are not so easily expelled from my thoughts, now that you have entered them…ah, little Lan, little Lan, you make me impatient! I had made plans on how to broach the subject with you, and yet now that you are here, I find myself rushing forward, intent to get to the point like some savage Nie.”

A savage Nie of whom he was exceedingly fond, he did not say, and Lan Qiren managed not to roll his eyes at him.

Instead, Lan Qiren put down his cup and folded his hands in his lap. “Don’t hesitate on my behalf,” he said, then added, a little dryly, “I’ve had enough indirect statements to last a lifetime.”

“Welcome to politics,” Wen Ruohan responded, just as dry, but his smile faded and his expression grew more intense; he stood and came closer to Lan Qiren, looking down at him for a long moment before taking a seat beside him. “Qiren, why are you here?”

Lan Qiren blinked, a little confused by the question, but before he could put together an answer, Wen Ruohan continued. “You are sincere and true to yourself; you follow your sect’s rules because you believe in them whole-heartedly and wish to live up to their strictures. Yet do they not say Do not associate with evil?”

“I don’t think you’re evil,” Lan Qiren said. “I think we disagree on what actions constitute evil, on what divides good from evil, and that you are more comfortable walking closely along that line than I. I think that there will be many times in the future where we disagree once again on what is or is not the straight path, and what is the crooked, but – fundamentally, I don’t think you’re evil.”

He considered the question for another moment longer, then added: “And if you were, what is there to do about it? You’re still my sworn brother, bound by oath and blood, and that makes you my responsibility whether I like it or not. Even if you were evil, the only thing that would be left for me to do would be to try my best to lead you out of the dark and back to the light.”

Wen Ruohan was watching him again. His red eyes were narrowed a little, his gaze as intense as it had been when Lan Qiren had been little more than a child, although experience had made it a little less overwhelming.

“You know that I see you as a pearl in the palm of my hand,” Wen Ruohan finally said. His voice was low and intimate, and Lan Qiren shivered to hear it. “A treasure I never expected to find, a gem of such surpassing purity that I fear it will burn me to dare profane it with my touch. Time is eternal; the pearl flows, the jade turns, and yet I remain, walking my crooked path and you your straight broad bridge, shining with righteousness. I see you and yearn for you both day and night, and even in my dreams…”

He reached out and put his hand on Lan Qiren’s. “I would have you be mine, if you would have the same.”

No hollowed-out puppets soon to be discarded here, Lan Qiren thought nonsensically, and swallowed.

“I am yours,” he said carefully, pronouncing each syllable at a time. He had to get this right, he thought, and he would only ever have this one singular chance to do so, or else he’d lose something as bright and shining as the pearl Wen Ruohan was always comparing him to. “I am your sworn brother, as you are mine; I will always be yours.”

“I know,” Wen Ruohan said, and it seemed for once that Lan Qiren had expressed himself clearly rather than muddling it up: he hadn’t misunderstood him into thinking that what Lan Qiren had said was a rejection. “If I were not one of those evil men that your rules warn you against, I would find it in myself to be content with that. But I am, and I am not.”

Lan Qiren wet his lips with his tongue. “You know what I told you,” he reminded him. “About how I – I could compromise myself if I had to, if it made you happy, but I don’t want to have to. That is not who I am, what I am. I don’t want to have to bend and yield. I don’t want to break under the weight of love the way my brother did.”

Wen Ruohan was watching him, patient and waiting.

“I’m not comfortable with that type of intimacy, the type shared between lovers since the start of time,” Lan Qiren finally said. “I don’t want it intrinsically, and I don’t think I want it logically, either. More than that, I don’t think, having never wanted it before and not wanting it now, that I will ever want it. My brother once compared me to a block of ice or a mountain lake frozen over in winter, frigid, and there was something true to what he said. There is no heat that will make me melt as others do…and yet.”

“And yet?”

“And yet you are not the only one who wishes to possess.” He met Wen Ruohan’s eyes. “I, too, would have you be mine.”

His stupid Lan sect heart, burning a hole in his chest; it should have been enough to make him forget his own wishes and be willing to give in, to want to give everything to his beloved no matter the cost to himself, but it wasn’t – he wasn’t. And yet, at the same time, he judged his own affections to be no less than his brother’s for all that they were quieter and less flamboyant, understated rather than loudly proclaimed

Wen Ruohan leaned forward, bringing their faces closer together. “Then why don’t you claim me?”

“Because I cannot offer you what I should,” Lan Qiren said truthfully. “What you would expect –”

“And when,” Wen Ruohan cut him off, “have I ever cared for the expectations set out by the rest of the world? Would I have done half the things I did if I cared for the world’s conventions and determined my aims through their lens?”

Lan Qiren had to admit that he had a point.

“I know what you are,” Wen Ruohan said. “To taint you would be to ruin my own pleasure, to force you would be to deny myself – and I never deny myself. I am greedy, little Lan; I am not content with what the world would have me want, not when I can have what I really want.”

“And what is it that you want?”

“Lao Nie told me that he told you about his wife,” Wen Ruohan said. “How he stayed and she went, and they were still happy…I want that, with you.”

Lan Qiren frowned, not understanding.

“I want you,” Wen Ruohan told him, and his long-fingered hand traced over Lan Qiren’s cheekbone. “I want to have you, to own you, to keep you. I want to possess you down to the marrow of your bones; I want every inch of you in every way that I can have you. I want you to be mine – and I don’t need to fuck you to have it.”

Lan Qiren stared at him.

Wen Ruohan smile was like his smirk, triumphant and arrogant, certain of his impending victory. “If I want sex, I have my wives or Lao Nie for that, don’t I? To my wives I have only promised power, which I have given them. As for Lao Nie, I know now that he cannot promise me his heart: he is too facile, too free, too easy with others – he is compelled to share not only his body, which I wouldn’t mind, but also his heart, and I find that I am as unwilling to share in matters of the heart as you are to share your body.”

He shifted closer yet again, until their eyes were level with each other and their breath intermingled in the air between them.

“You will not be like him,” he said, voice dark and certain. “You’re barely willing to divide your attention to things you consider less important than your particular interests. Your heart is your clan’s curse and its treasure, taking you to the heavens and casting you down to the hells – if you give me your heart, full and entire, it will be as if you have removed it from your chest and put it in my hand. No one else will have any part of it, not like this, not in this way. It will only be me.”

“That is true,” Lan Qiren said. “I love no less deeply than my brother. My heart is a placid lake with a surface as clear as glass – you can see everything therein. Within it, there are only my interests, my nephew, my few friends, and you.”

Wen Ruohan’s smile widened.

“What exactly are you thinking?” Lan Qiren asked. His heart was beating in his chest so fast that it hurt. “If you want the assurance, you have it already: I am yours, and you are mine, and it would shatter me to let you go now. Is that what you want?”

“It is.” Wen Ruohan laughed, and it was full of pleasure. “Ah, little Lan! It is, it is.”

“What does it change?” Lan Qiren asked. “How is it different from what we have already?”

“It changes everything,” Wen Ruohan said simply, and Lan Qiren thought about and felt that he was right. “Knowing that you are mine makes it easier to release you into the world, to watch you shine and others see it; let them all look and know that it will never be theirs. All good things in the world are mine, and you are the best among them.”

“Pretty words,” Lan Qiren said, aiming for dry but probably just coming off as short of breath. “I’m a little more interested in the practical.”

“I would have you share my pillow while you are here,” Wen Ruohan said. “I do not need you to share your body with me, but I would have your company as a husband has his wife’s…and there are things that can be done without involving your body, depending on your tolerance.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Wen Ruohan grinned. “As it happens, that’s a matter I’ve given some considerable thought to…”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes, and felt the heat in his ears fade a little; he appreciated the small reprieve from the emotional intensity, the humor breaking the tenseness of the moment.

“You know I find you beautiful,” Wen Ruohan said, and this time his hand came to rest on Lan Qiren’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his lips, and as quickly as that the reprieve was gone. “Perhaps you would permit me to find my own pleasure beside you, gazing upon you, or even invite another to share the bed while you busy yourself with your work – you are never as beautiful as when you are focused, your soul and mind wholly absorbed in your passion for the subject. Perhaps I would invite you to read a spring book for me, spilling out dirty words in that cool tone of yours that you use regardless of the circumstance, so that I might torment myself with hearing you at any time and think of that…I have a thousand and one ideas, little Lan, and I would try them all to see which ones you like and which ones you don’t, to yield to your preference and glory in so yielding.”

None of that sounded like something Lan Qiren would dislike, he thought to himself; it really was only his own personal involvement in the act that he truly objected to. And if Wen Ruohan had Lan Qiren’s heart and Lao Nie’s body, and both their friendship besides, perhaps even he in his ceaseless ambition could find a way to be satisfied with what he had for a time.

“I would like that,” he said honestly.

“Then having gained a cun, I will take a chi,” Wen Ruohan said. “I would like to kiss you.”

Lan Qiren swallowed.

“…all right,” he said. “You may.”

And he did.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #my fic #my fics #spilled pearls

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celisea · 3 years

Note

i am obsessed with master of the knights kaeya and even more obsessed with kaeya who serves khaenri’ah PLEASE elaborate more on your worms if you feel obliged

!!! AAA I’m glad you liked the designs hehe, YES SURE I CAN ELABORATE!! I thought about these 2 designs like the 2 futures Kaeya could have. A future with the knights and Mond or with Khaenri’ah and whatever is happening over there. This may get a bit long but ill try to explain my brainworms in a coherent way. Also, English is not my first language, so if there is any confusion please tell me and I can try to tell it in another way.

So, first, I think the 5-star version of Kaeya MUST have both eyes uncovered. This is because I think if we ever DO get it, it will be like an ascension of sorts. Kaeya has the recurring theme that he hides a lot of things from everyone. He hides his true feelings, his thoughts and his true personality behind layers and LAYERS of lies. The only time he ever showed his true self his brother tried to kill him, he even looks at his vision as a reminder to never try to do it again. So, my point is that if he does get a 5-star version it will be when he accepts every part of himself and shows his true self to everyone. Therefore, I think he would be without his eyepatch. The loss of it represents the loss of his mask, both figuratively and literally.

Another thing to note is that Kaeya’s constellation is a peacock. There are a lot of different meanings to this but one that stuck out to me is this:

“Hindu motifs expose the peacock as a symbol of the unconscious; for, what is in one’s subconscious can be illuminated by the consciousness, starting the emergence of one’s true individuality.”

This adds to what I first said about the loss of his eyepatch. What I want to get from this is that in Kaeya’s case, the peacock could mean his struggles with his identity and how he expresses and views himself. So, his ascension to a 5-star could be his decision to be true to himself and chose to support the nation that he wants, be it Mondstadt or Khaenri’ah without regrets or second thoughts. In his vision story its mentioned how coming clean about his lies was the first time he felt like himself, like he was not holding back who he truly was. So, I believe Kaeya will not be able to be a 5-star or, in-story become stronger, until he comes clean to everyone about who he truly is.

Because of all of this, I thought about making two designs instead of just one, since I feel like either choice could represent himself coming out of his shell and showing his individuality.

So, now that I explained my reasoning as to why I made 2 designs, here is my thought process for each one!

Mondstadt

My first design thought for a 5-star Kaeya is that he would wear his vision on his heart. For me this is him showing that he does not see his vision as a reminder to always live a life full of lies, but as a reminder to stay true to himself and live in a way that he feels happy with. It also, of course, represents his loyalty to Mondstadt, the land that gave him said vision.

He also gets to keep his lovelock! This hairstyle is said to “show devotion to a loved one”, in this case the loved one would be Mondstadt and its people. And I also feel like it could be a nod to Crepus, his late adoptive father. We know that Kaeya loved Crepus and is part of the reason he had such complex feelings about who to side with since he adopted him and showed him love in a land he had never been to and probably didn’t want to go as a child. So, I thought it would be nice that his lovelock could also represent his love for his family.

Another thing I thought about was that a 5-star Kaeya would probably be introduced in the late game, so this means that in the future, Jean will probably be Grand Master of the knights. This is because I think it is foreshadowed by Mona on her voiceline about Jean:

“You mean the Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius? Her constellation is Leo Minor, which represents strength and responsibility shouldered too young... Though the lioness has been separated from her pride for a long time, she grows from strength to strength, and the day will come when she is ready to return as its glorious leader.”

If its true that Jean will become Grand Master, then Kaeya would probably follow her and become Master of the Knights since he is her right-hand-man and Jean respects him a lot. This would also go well with the theme that Kaeya would act like his true self. Throughout his whole life, Kaeya has been a character that always acts in the background/shadows. He works and goes to assignments more than anybody else and does a lot of things, while only being supposedly the Cavalry Captain. This also happened when he was young and Diluc was still in the Knights. He worked in the shadows so Diluc could pass through any circumstance without any problems. What I want to get with this, is that Kaeya works a job that is not at face-value recognized. So, him being the Master of the Knights, a well respected and recognized title, seems fitting. Also, I just really like the idea of Jean and Kaeya climbing the ladder together and being a power team hehe.

Because of this, I think that Kaeya would borrow elements of Jean’s design like her corset thingy, her gloves, and finally the Knights official symbol. Since in this design his loyalty is to Mondstadt, he now feels free to put elements of the city on how he dresses!

One final thought about the Mond design (this doesn’t have anything to do with the design) is that I like to thing that in the endgame when Jean and Kaeya are Grand Master and Master, Diluc would look at them and say to them that he doesn’t think the Knights are incompetent anymore ;u; kind of like, “I’m proud of you two” moment.

Khaenri’ah

Oof so now to the angstier route, Kaeya chooses Khaenri’ah over Mondstadt and joins Dainsleif and co. on the quest to challenge the gods. The first thing I feel he would do is cut his lovelock. The lovelock hairstyle comes originally from Europe and Mondstadt is a Germany-based nation, so the cutting of it symbolizes his separation from Mondstadt and his adoptive family. His sense of duty meaning more to him than the love he received from the city, the knights, and his family.

His vision is kept on the side like in his original design. In his voicelines, he mentions that a vision is a mere tool to control the elements. It has no other meaning; in this route he does not give it any meaning at all since Khaenri’ah hates the gods, the vision is nothing more than a tool to complete his nation’s goals. Instead, what is on his heart is a star, a symbol representative of Khaenri’ah.

His outfit on this design resembles more Dainsleif’s and has a lot of star-shaped elements. His peacock cape is replaced by one more reminiscent of Dainsleif’s and he keeps some elements of his original design like the gloves and the cuffs of his sleeves. I kind of wanted to give the vibe of a royal. Peacocks also can represent royalty, so in this design his confidence and individuality stems from his duty to protect his homeland from the gods. I believe Kaeya does have royal blood from the Blacksun dynasty and it’s represented by all the gold elements and his shawl thingy.

I get a little sad thinking about this design because I feel like Jean and Diluc would just be… absolutely heartbroken by this decision. Imagining a battle between the three really breaks my heart lmao. I feel like it would be worse than the fight Diluc and Kaeya had when they were young. This battle would be complex on both sides. Jean and Diluc would see their former friend and brother working against the city that brought him so much happiness. Kaeya would be heartbroken too, having to attack his brother and his close friend. If Mihoyo does have Kaeya choose Khaenri’ah, and they decide to attack Mondstadt. Man™ its going to be REALLY sad. In this route I 100% believe that one of the three will die.

Anyways! That got REALLY LONG HOLY SHIT… I’m sorry lmao this kind of turned into a character analysis of Kaeya hehe. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!!! Thank you for the ask. As you can see, the Kaeya brainrot is real….

#ask #asks #text #kh2prologue #kaeya #jean #diluc #kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #jean gunnhildr #genshin impact

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fallencomrade · 3 years

Text

━━ 𝟑s

please repost, don’t reblog.

𝟑 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒

▘ LOYALTY ➺ a shining trait of james barnes that ( somehow ) survived the passing of time and tribulation. since his early brooklyn days, bucky barnes displayed a steadfast loyalty and dedication towards those he loved and cherished. growing up during a time when there was a heavy emphasis on duty and responsibility, james understood his role as the eldest and only male child of george and winifred barnes - and assumed that role with ease and enthusiasm. this loyalty extended beyond blood though, as was proven by james’ devotion to close friends, the most notorious being his everlasting friendship with steven rogers. hydra had tried to weaponize this gleaming trait, hoping to mold it to their liking and use it to instill a unquestionable loyalty to their cause. they were pathetically unsuccessful - and the chair and cryochamber were fashioned as a result. after his time spent with hydra, TRUST is something barnes deeply struggles with. his trusted inner circle has certainly grown smaller and much more exclusive, but james still harbors this same dedication to those selected few. given his past and his current afflictions, those bonds he does manage to forge prove all the more stronger and resilient.

▘ TENACITY ➺ the serum only enhanced that which already existed within him. childhood was spent surviving the rough and tumble of brooklyn city streets, made all the more grueling with steve rogers as a best friend. as such, barnes learned at a very young age how to assess a situation, adapt to his surroundings and ( most importantly ) how to survive. dance hall skirmishes and back alley brawls were nothing though compared to the brutalities of war. still, it was this grit that helped the young man not only survive but excel as a sergeant. the army soon discovered that this notorious flirt from brooklyn exhibited a certain aptitude for sharpshooting. this impressive talent along with james’ natural charisma helped to build him a trusted reputation within the ranks and respect among his comrades. these talents were also what made the man such a formidable soldier. the bastard - serum amplified these strengths and hydra WEAPONIZED them. years blurred into decades and his skills were hellishly refined thanks to rigorous and ruthless training. the winter soldier program reconstructed the man into a living, breathing weapon capable of handling any firearm, blade, explosive, advanced weaponry, artillery or blunt object. && if he truly found himself limited and weaponless, the cybernetic arm soldered to his body proved a more than capable alternative. in combat, the soldier proved a devastating force and hydra was quick to take the credit and reap the benefits, but this staggering ability to adapt without pause and utilize his surroundings for his advantage stemmed not in the dirty lab of one arnim zola but began on the street corners of the city james barnes’ called home.

▘ VIRTUE / ETHICS ➺ growing up during the depression was not easy for anyone and neither was spending the beginning of young adulthood surviving the second world war. his childhood was marked by some of the worst and most difficult times in history - and yet james never allowed hardship or misfortune deter his regard for hard work, nor did he allow it to pollute his idealistic outlook on life. both his parents worked hard to support the family and that same work - ethic was imparted onto james, who assumed the role eagerly and naturally. luckily, during this time of strife, his family always had enough to provide both him and his two sisters a comfortable lifestyle, with various opportunities to explore and take advantage of - which was more than some families could boast at that time. after the death of sarah rogers, james made the decision to move into an apartment with his best friend. as young bacherlors, they did not have much but together they managed to scrape by and make an honest living. despite steve’s skepticism, james’ choices were never made out of pity or some disgruntled sense of obligation. he worked tirelessly and did what he had to because that was what he grew up believing. a man takes care of the people he loves, no matter what. whatever the cost - working two jobs, skipping a meal here and there, some months spent without heat, selling unnecessary belongings - bucky would do whatever was necessary - and did so without complaint. in fact, he woke up each morning with a smile on his face and a quip on his tongue. for him, there was no better reward or greater comfort than knowing the ones he loved were taken care of. he believes himself unrecognizable when compared to that willful man now, but certain traits of the old james barnes can still be found within him. there is a payout for hard work and the man that he is today is slowly remembering those feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment in honest labor.

𝟑 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒

▘ RUTHLESSNESS ➺ 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑢𝑚 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝘩𝑖𝑐𝘩 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠. 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡. 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 ... before the horrible truth was unmasked, the history books painted james barnes in a favorable glow. he was known for being the young jovial, dashing side - kick of captain america. A PATRIOT - dedicated, noble, brave, honorable ;; an honest, hardworking man who cared about family, duty, honor and sacrifice. && he was many of these things. no one could deny james barnes of his genuine heart of gold. the man was willing to do anything for those he loved. anything. such love was a truly powerful thing, capable of cultivating great beauty. it could also prove to be equally as DISASTROUS. at its purest form, it inspired strength, selflessness, kindness. twisted, it became a deadly incentive. the BRUTALITY of the winter soldier was not born solely from the torture inflicted upon him or the serum he was infected with. beneath his buoyant, sprightly exterior existed a side of james barnes that was seldom exposed, unless provoked. there was a violence that lived within the darker parts of his heart, a ruthless determination to protect the things which were important to him. && if anyone dared to threaten those things ? well ... those details are far less known. if needed, james had no qualms about getting his hands dirty or splitting open his knuckles to send a very clear message. he had an ability to separate himself from his own subconscious and used this talent to become someone almost unrecognizable from his more charming counterpart. this austerity deepened into something even more callous during the war - when the enemy became much more larger and far more deadly. to switch back and forth between these personas became even more fluid and then - it became frighteningly easy. it was a duality that many were forced to adopt in order to survive the TRAUMAS of war. it was only a glimpse of what he was truly capable of though. the extent of his CRUELTY reached its full potential once he was injected with zola’s serum. bucky barnes was capable of great horror, even before he became the winter soldier - but with the serum, the torture && captivity - this capacity was exposed and steadily becoming the CRUX of his entire character. despite the size of his heart of the pureness of his intentions, there still exists a violence inside of him. ruthless and efficient, it has grown, survived, thrived and matured over the years, and still sits within his core today - its potential just as deadly and just as horrifying.

▘ DISSOCIATION / DETATCHMENT ➺ an extension of the adverse trait described above, james started to display this ability to separate himself from his more repugnant qualities early on. he was never known for being VIOLENT. that brutality was extracted and molded once hydra got their hands on him, it was assumed. the historians will tell you the winter soldier was a product of inhumane warfare, experimentation, abuse and indoctrination, but james knows the truth ... in the beginning, james did what he had to to protect the ones he loved. during his captivity, he did what he had to to survive. && now - he does what he needs to to live with himself. && what was necessary in all these occasions required the man to separate himself from his empathy - and later on, his HUMANITY. he relied so heavily on this mechanism during his time as the soldier that the disconnection became more common than not and breaking free from that impulse is something he continues to struggle with today - and something he is hesitant to even relinquish. dissociation makes it easier to exist ;; to move forward - as is expected of him. one day bleeds into another, into another, into another ... and he moves with it, no longer a phantom existing outside of time. instead, an active presence. — but his continued reliance on this crutch ? he exists. but is james barnes living ? IS HE REALLY ALIVE ?

▘ INDECISION ( current day ) ➺ a weakness that only manifested after his captivity, barnes deeply struggles with the burden of choice. freedom. autonomy. ambition. purpose. all the small ( yet crucial ) decisions and preferences that define a person’s character oftentimes feels absent from his makeup. james buchanan barnes used to have strong opinions, about anything and everything. his favorite flavor of pie, best subject in school, favored season, blondes - brunettes ? hell, he even had a favorite color. if someone were to ask this james barnes about those same sentiments, if they lasted and endured the years along with him or if they had changed with the time, james would falter and stare back with vacant eyes. individuality feels like a withered gravesite inside of him, a bottomless pit of nothing. every so often he may hear the flickering echoes of what once was, but the enthusiasm - the passion - feels distant, far - away. for decades, he had been deprived of free will. he was a WEAPON and weapons did not feel or think. weapons did not make noise unless fired by the hands authorized to use them. unbounded, given a NAME once again, a voice - and he knows he should feel grateful. && yet, the only thing he feels is overwhelmed. his mind does not hesitant when it comes to battle ;; TO KILLING. his hands know exactly which gun to reach for given a situation, how much pressure to apply to snap a bone. he no longer needs to run the numbers in his head to calculate a bullets’ trajectory given distance and wind speed. he fires without thought and never misses. he is an expert of wartime tactics. violence is second nature to him, right behind DEATH. now, alive - a free man ... they ask him what he wants and barnes ... does not know - and he inadvertently still finds himself looking to others to supply those answers ( that instruction. )

𝟑 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒

▘ SHAMEFUL INCLINATIONS ➺ to admit such whims out loud would flood him with repugnant shame. he knows it is wrong to reminisce and crave the inertia of subjection, but he cannot deny the nostalgic longing that twists inside of him on his darkest days. to think such things ;; to feel such things disgraces the efforts and sacrifices that were made in order to free him from those chains. — but james barnes has always been selfish like that. it is easy to brush off accountability and blame hydra for everything. 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗆, 𝗍𝗈𝗇𝗒 ! 𝗁𝗒𝖽𝗋𝖺 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽. ▪ 𝚑𝚢𝚍𝚛𝚊 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞. ▪ 🇾��🇴🇺 🇦🇷🇪 🇹🇭🇪 🇱🇴🇳🇬🇪🇸🇹 🇸🇪🇷🇻🇮🇳🇬 🇵🇴🇼. ▪ 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. ▪ 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗂𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌, 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇'𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾. NO CHOICE. they had absolute control over his body, his mind. (did they?) he could not refuse. (couldn’t he?) the grim reality is that, as years bled into decades, the leash hydra had chained around his neck started to loosen considerably, until the pull barely existed at all. rarely did his handlers need to rely on the early tactics to keep him in line. he COMPLIED without resistance. both masters and soldier fell into an agreeable rhythm, following a trusted routine. it made activation less agonizing, muffled the scratching of chaotic thoughts into soothing white noise. it made his orders simpler ;; made killing easier ;; made existing with himself ... easier. it was a gift ( they told him ) to be relieved of the burden of choice and there are times when he still ( shamefully ) agrees with this. to feel nothing at all, after having felt so much ... ? it is a very dangerous thing. the numbing high of indifference, apathy, inertia - can feel like FREEDOM.

▘ LIKELIHOOD OF RECOVERY ➺ the harrowing truth ... he has lived more of his life as a WEAPON than he has a person. after everything he has gone through, james feels more machine than he does human. he feels the corrosion of rust spreading through him. his body does not feel like flesh and bone, but more akin to gears and wires and metal. thoughts are mere embedded programming ... implanted, artificial. his heart feels like a gnarled knot inside his chest. his soul feels absent. morality is faint, compassion - oftentimes hard to find. to choose requires great effort ;; to think requires effort ;; to care requires effort - and james is exhausted. those on his side tell him he deserves a chance to recover, to heal - but he sometimes thinks that the best thing they could do given the situation is to take this body that feels more like a weapon, decommission it, place it in storage under lock and key and allow it to gather dust. can he heal ? can he recover ? can he exist as anything other than a weapon ? after all this time and after everything he has gone through ? he isn’t sure. optimism hasn’t been his forte since 1942. he considers himself a realist. && if his chances follow his rotten history of luck, the odds do not appear to be on his side.

▘ DRAFTED SOLDIER ➺ he will never admit it. ever. && how befitting - this dark secret. how it reveals the nature of his character ... all the blood on his hands, all the lives he has stolen, the atrocities he has committed - and this is the one thing he is most ashamed of. his head is filled with dark secrets - hydra’s, his own. all of them are shameful, ugly, brutal and yet this one secret stands out the most in his mind. this is the one that GUTS him the most, because it was before ... everything. before the war, before hydra, before the soldier. this reveals james barnes at his core. this is his blemish ;; his most reproachable trait. this destroys his character more than hydra or the soldier ever did. it is a truth he will never admit to, to anyone. he will even go as far as denying it, lying to his dying breath. — but how could he admit such a thing ? after witnessing the bravery and determination he saw in others, in his best friend - to serve, to protect - without the slightest pause or hesitation. all the while he tried to hide from the call of duty, hoping. praying. james barnes never signed up to serve the second world war. it is a secret he has never admitted to anyone. not to his friends, his father or sisters. not to the other commandoes. not even ( especially not ) steve. && it is a secret he will take to the grave.

𝟑 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒

▘ LOSING AUTONOMY ➺ while freedom has proven tumultuous, he still prefers the struggle when compared to the alternative. while under hydra’s control, james barely surfaced, but the rare times he did he saw the world though a murky sheet of ice, drifting in the inertia of the soldier’s compliance. existence felt more like an out of body experience - a resultant of trauma, he was later told. he witnessed his torture, his brutal crimes, the creeping advancement of hydra’s power, more as an onlooker than an active participant. it made certain things ... easier to stomach. the torture, the experiments ;; stasis, the chair. it made following orders ... simpler. he hardly blinked when exposed to his own potential for DEVASTATION. the violence. the breaking, rebuilding and training of more soldiers, the little spiders. torture. murder. during his less lucid states, he ( selfishly ) welcomed the disconnect, but every so often - his old sense of morality would give a kick and he would stare, wide - eyed and horrified. he would honestly try with every bit of strength he had left inside of him to stop himself, to control himself, but even his hardest endeavors failed miserably against the soldier’s rigid conditioning. nothing more than the occasional hiccup in his code, a sudden half - second hesitation - quickly roped back into submission by screaming static. to exist in such a way - condemned to watch as your shadow destroys every bit of light within, fated to feel the rot putrefy your soul, slowly - slowly ... it is a terrible thing. && it will continue to haunt james for the rest of his life. he may struggle to find purpose after his liberation, the motivation and energy to pursue a meaningful life, but the last thing he ever wants ( what he fears ) is to be used as a PUPPET again.

▘ LIVING ➺ he existed in a definite state for a very long time, long enough for him to find comfort in routine, monotony - THE EXPECTED. there was an equation to surviving hydra ( surviving himself ) - and hydra proved they would be true to their word if only he obeyed. COMPLIANCE WILL BE REWARDED. orders were clear and exact and non - negotiable. missions were organized and coordinated, objectives defined well before he was even pulled from stasis. he knew what to expect - how much pain he would need to endure, what followed activation, what proceeded mission completion - and he knew what he needed to do in order to make the process bearable. ( ready to comply ) the soldier did not like it when things did not go according to plan. like hydra, he did not like surprises. lose ends. it required him to make decisions, to think ... orders were simple. all he needed to do was complete them as quickly, as cleanly and as efficiently as possible, AS INSTRUCTED. any deviation from the expected leads quickly into CHAOS and chaos can be as dangerous and as deadly as an explosion. after the failure of project insight, the soldier was forced to adapt to his situation in order to survive. the upheaval of sudden liberation almost destroyed him. he spent those first few months in a mad attempt to regain some semblance of order. he hid out of sight, living as a ghost while struggling with whiplashing whims: the rigid impulse to return to his surviving handlers ( for orders ) or the luring urge to continue to run and observe this new form of reality he had abruptly been exposed to. it was a constant strife between soldier and man ;; compliance and curiosity. the longer he was exposed to clean air though, the more james barnes settled to the surface, the stronger his voice became. the soldier slowly started to come to terms with some truths. he did not miss the chair - or hydra’s drugs. he did not miss the violence. it was enough to justify his decision to run - and slowly, the man started to live. to be alive ( human ) opened the door to many things he did not mind. music, knowledge, the warmth of a blanket, pizza ... but there was a price. james learned in bucharest that he could not continue to live as a ghost. he could not continue to reap the benefits of living without also bearing its obligations. the more he is dragged back into the land of the living, the more responsibility is placed on his shoulders. he is forced now to make decisions that not only impact his life but others as well. it also brings into focus his past, forcing him to start coming to terms with his crimes - and his guilt. to live a life involves many things james is not yet comfortable with. he is forced to move forward, to make choices, to collaborate and trust others, to heal ... all new waters the man is deathly afraid to wade into, because it leads to uncertainty, leads to the unexpected. cause and effect. there is no equation to guarantee success ;; no trusted, proven procedure to follow. to live a full life means making decisions and then being brave enough to live with those decisions. barnes still deeply struggles with the fear of the UNKNOWN, and when overwhelmed by crippling indecision, finds himself clinging to old comforts. that same sickening desire to exist once more beyond the bounds of time, a chimera relieved of the burden of choice all together.

▘ HIMSELF ➺ his potential. his mind, body - everything contained within this cage of blood and bone terrifies him. for him ( && those made like him ) freedom is nothing more than a far - fetched pipedream. zemo shattered all illusions of freedom, and all it took was the whisper of ten choice words. regardless of the small progress he made in the years following his defection, all of it was reduced to rubble the moment he was dragged back into the plane of the living. he was careless, ignorant, sloppy - allowing himself to be curious, hopeful - and six agents paid the price for it in germany when the soldier was reactivated. the great fist of hydra is indeed a terrifying sight to behold, but james understands the soldier is simply a byproduct of himself - and that is what truly horrifies him. even before the serum was introduced into his body, his potential was ... concerning. the things he was willing to do back home ;; the things he was willing to do during the war ... the disconcerting ways he was able to manipulate his own morality. his malleable ethical code. the serum only heightened that which already existed inside of him, but it did pave a space for corruption to thrive. it made him even more dangerous, even more LETHAL. his potential for destruction was exemplified. his ability to survive, his tolerance for pain - expanded. the serum allowed hydra the opportunity to find that seed of ugliness which existed inside of him and feed it, cultivate it. they helped it grow and thrive, and then sowed the deadly fruits. the things he found himself capable of - the violence, the brutality. the things he learned to stomach ;; the horrors he found himself able to commit ... revolutionists. bright minds. visionaries. humanitarians. entire families. innocent bystanders. good people. children. he killed without blinking ;; without flinching - and then returned to the people who issued those orders and waited for more. there were a handful of times when he hesitated, questioned - but for the most part, he completed his orders without question and did so without feeling a flutter of disturbance. i had no choice. hydra had control of his mind. you couldn’t refuse them. it wasn’t your fault. he can hide behind those excuses all he wants, but barnes knows what lives inside of him. he knows what hydra put inside him and what was already there. the winter soldier might be an exaggeration of the worst parts of a person - as captain america exemplified the best - but the soldier is only a reflection of the darkness that already lived within him. && THAT IS TERRIFYING.

𝟑 𝐆𝐎𝐀𝐋𝐒

▘ PURPOSE ➺ ever since his reemergence back into the land of the living, james has struggled to understanding what to do with newfound existence. a name, a face, a place in this world, an identity and yet - on most days he still feels like a weapon. recovery feels similar to deactivation, and the soldier finds himself waiting, constantly preparing for the day when they will take him out of storage, brush off the rust and use him once more. the expectation looms over him like a dark cloud and hinders his progress. — but what else does he have to offer ? what else can he do ? if not for some useful purpose, why does he exist ? if the only thing he knows how to do is fight, kill, DESTROY - what other direction is there ? he is good at what he does. he is good at what hydra bred him to be ... but he does not want to exist for that purpose. he is tired of war, of violence - but without the constant stimulation of battle, time is a slow and dragging endeavor. he does want to prove ( to the world, hydra, steve, to himself ) that he is more than just a weapon made for war, but he finds himself more often than not questioning the validity to that statement, especially when it is the only thing that feels natural to him. the serum defines him. his skillset defines him. his past defines him - and if he has proven one thing, it is that he is a good fighter. A GOOD KILLER. he excels when it comes to battle. he is hard to stop ;; hard to kill - and these types of strengths point to one obvious path. one does not use a blade to paint a magnificent masterpiece. he was weaponized long ago and to try to be anything but what he has been for so long seems ... counterproductive. still, he does not want to keep fighting - and his doctors tell him that is important ( essential ). if he isn’t serving though, what should he do ? time is so painstakingly slow and without stasis, he does not know how to fill in the stagnant space in between. he might lose whatever shreds of sanity he has left - and there isn’t much left to spare. he needs guidance, instruction. he needs someone to tell him what to do ... they tell him it is up to him to decide, but he doesn’t know. he does not want to go back to hydra ;; he does not want to be controlled or manipulated. — but when time starts to pull and drag and his mind is left free to wander ... there are times when he feels desperate enough to long for orders. he hopes to find some kind of meaning once again to his existence and hopes this time around, it is fashioned for something good.

▘ A SENSE OF IDENTITY ➺ he is not sure he will ever truly feel natural within his own skin or inside his own mind. the face he wears now feels more like a mask, stretched to the seams to hide the husk beneath. for so long he existed as a puppet, body moving on command. his actions never felt like his own and neither did his thoughts. for far too long, he was a stranger inside his own mind and body. the strings have been cut, a name placed back on his tongue - but he still feels ... empty. who is he ? what does he like to do ? what are his hobbies ? his interests ? what does he dislike ? what makes him happy ? what makes him sad ? they ask him these questions and all he can hear are the voices of old hydra handlers inside his head. A WEAPON NEED NOT BOTHER ITSELF WITH SUCH MEANINGLESS FRIVOLITIES. — it is not a part of your code. he often needs to be reminded ( reassured ) - he is not a weapon. he is not a machine. beneath skin and bone, he has a heart. he has a mind and both these things belong to him. he is allowed to want, to feel, to explore, to refuse, to challenge ... freely. it is a hard concept for him to remember and to accept, but he has made some strides. he has discovered ( rediscovered ? ) some things he likes: the feel of sunlight against his face, the smell of coffee, the soft scratch of a record player and the fuzzy music which follows, a trusted knife, pizza, warm blankets ... he has also recognized some things he does not like. the building crackle of electricity, paralysis, the stench of death, silence so loud it hurts, eyes watching him, the sudden, sharp hiss of ice melting, prolonged pain ... meager progress maybe, but it is a start - and james hopes to some day feel the same comfort within his own body and mind that his past - self seemed to epitomize so effortlessly. TO BE HIS OWN PERSON - defined by passions, opinions ;; propelled by confident choices made with conviction ... the idea seems so unattainable given how DAMAGED he is, but it is still something he would like to attain. if only to prove to hydra ( && to himself ) that he is in fact his own person and that he does not belong to anyone - but himself.

▘ TO PROMOTE POSITIVE CHANGE ➺ after all the destruction he has blasted into the course of history, the idea seems almost ... laughable. dismissible certainly, for what other purpose could hands sharpened into blades be used for ? && perhaps even insulting, to those whose lives he ruined. like his other emotions, after his desertion his guilt was initially muted, but the longer he remains in this plane of existence - the more time allowed to heal - the more james comes face to face with those directly impacted by his crimes, and each time the discomfort inside him grows stronger. the memories are returning and most of them are HORRIFIC. the lives he cut short, the families he ripped apart. the orphans he abandoned, the parents he made bury their children ... the peace he broke in order to secure continued chaos. hydra was a parasite, feasting on the corpses of war and conflict - gorging and growing - and he was one of the reasons how they survived and thrived throughout history. the fist of hydra, zimniy soldat, the soldier, hydra’s bloodhound. he was unseen from the eyes of the world, faceless - but his actions resonated ;; his reputation notorious, even if only as a ghost story. many of his crimes have been made public thanks to the widow’s data dump, but there are many ( too many ) that are still undisclosed - known only to him, his victims and the hydra higher - ups who issued the orders. he knows it sounds silly, far - fetched, childish - but it would be nice to have some kind of impact on this world that isn’t so violent or destructive. he knows he cannot make amends for all the bad he has done. there is too much blood ( far too much blood ) but if he could do something ... to prove he can be something more than that which hydra made of him, he would like to try. there is no fixing the damage the winter soldier has caused. there is no way to restore james barnes’ promising reputation, but to leave this world knowing he could do something good - after doing so much bad - would feel ... freeing.

tagged by : stolen ! tagging : @cxpt, @justicetempered, @gcroinya, @fatedfuturist, @agntross, @mxndwitch, @toscrve

#⸢ ✪ ⸥ CHARACTER STUDY. | ‘ 𝑗𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠.#long post for ts #⸢ ✪ ⸥ OOC. | ‘ i spent waaay too much time on this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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tarnishedxknight · 3 years

Text

About the Muse: Basch fon Ronsenburg

[Bio and other information below the cut!]

Type of Character & Fandom/Source Material: Canon character Basch fon Ronsenburg of Final Fantasy XII.

FC: I’ll just use his own digital self. Otherwise, my live action FC for Basch is C.hris Hem.sworth in T.hor: The Dark World:

Alignment: Lawful Good, with minor Neutral Good tendencies depending on circumstance

Race: Hume (Human)

Age: 34-37, usually, but it’s verse-dependent

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Heteroromantic/heterosexual, but he’s mostly married to his work/duty to others and hasn’t had any serious relationships

Occupation: Freelance swordsman; captain of the guard; knight; royal bodyguard (all verse-dependent)

Family: A Landisian father, Sarven (deceased); an Archadian mother, Rosina (deceased); a younger identical twin brother, Noah fon Ronsenburg, a.k.a. Judge Magister Gabranth (either alive or deceased depending on verse); in my Dark!Ivalice verse, Larsa is also Basch’s nephew by virtue of being Noah’s son.

Potentially Triggering Material in Threads: war; violence; blood; torture; starvation, imprisonment; repression; deprivation; age gaps in shipping

Positive Personality Traits: Basch is hard-working, loyal, brave, honorable, and selfless, and can be kind, devoted, and gentle in the appropriate circumstances. He would shoulder any burden and bear any shame to help good people, protect the innocent and the weak, and further the collective and greater good.

Negative Personality Traits: Basch can be so selfless to the point of neglecting himself, almost always placing duty, obligation to others, and the needs of others above his own needs, often at great detriment to himself. A sense of loyalty to someone, a perceived debt owed, or even love can blind him to being used, abused, or taken advantage of. He can sometimes come off as aloof because he does not share much about himself, only what he needs to, when he needs to. He can be harsh and seem arrogant to those who break laws or commit heinous acts, especially if people were harmed in the process.

Background: (Spoilers ahead for FFXII!)

I’m trying to condense down an extremely detailed game with many characters and between 60 and 100 hours of gameplay depending on how dedicated you are and trying to sift out the story of one character, heh. I apologize for length and tangents, but this is as boiled down a background as I can make for Basch that explains the major events and factors that contributed to the formation of his ideals, personality, and motivations. I’m also trying to explain him in a way such that people who have not played this game or who maybe aren’t in the Final Fantasy fandom at all can still understand him. Here goes...

Basch was born and raised in the Republic of Landis in the land of Ivalice during a time when two empires, that of Archadia and Rozarria, were at war with each other. He and his identical twin brother, Noah, were from a noble family and trained to become soldiers from a young age.

(See below, the brothers at age 36, with Basch on the left and Noah, a.k.a. Gabranth on the right. Although they’re identical twins, there are features that set them apart, aside from their vastly different personalities. Noah’s hair is slightly darker than Basch’s, and his eyebrows are shaped more “angrily” than Basch’s, even when his face is relaxed. Some describe the latter effect as Basch having “kinder eyes” than his brother. Their voices are also very different, and by this age, they had adopted the accents of the respective countries that they served.)

Basch and Noah were extremely close as boys, but by the time they were teenagers, Landis was conquered and destroyed by Archadia and their father was killed. Devastated by the loss as well as by the shame of not being able to protect their country, the twins parted ways, differing on what to do next. Basch left Landis and traveled to Dalmasca, a small country that, along with the equally small country of Nabradia, was precariously sandwiched between the Rozarrian and Archadian Empires (x).

Noah, or Gabranth as he named himself going forward (that was his mother’s maiden name) felt utterly betrayed by his brother leaving, not only feeling abandoned himself but hating Basch for what he saw as abandoning their mother, who was ill at the time. Gabranth took his mother to Archadia, her homeland, hoping they would be accepted there for their Archadian blood. They were, but after a short time, his mother passed away, leaving Gabranth angry and eager to prove himself. Shame, guilt, rage, and vengeance consumed him as he quickly rose through the ranks of the Archadian military due to impressing Emperor Gramis Solidor with military prowess at a young age. He eventually became a Judge Magister, the highest rank achievable in the Archadian military.

Meanwhile, in Dalmasca, King Raminas valued Basch’s skill with weaponry, most notably swords, bows, and spears, but also his expert riding ability on chocobo mounts, even while in combat (x,x).

By the time he was in his late 20s, Basch was made Captain of the Order of the Knights of Dalmasca, leading not only them but other soldiers into battle when necessary, guarding Dalmascan royalty, and training younger soldiers as well. For more than twenty years, Basch served the king loyally, seeing the birth of Raminas’ daughter and only remaining child after her eight brothers died in battle and from illness, Princess Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca, and the unfortunate death of the queen, also due to illness. (See below, Ashelia from the end of the game.)(x)

As Ashelia, or Ashe as she is called by those close to her, grew to womanhood, Basch sadly related more and more to her. They had both lost mothers to illness, felt the weight of their country’s survival on their shoulders, and, unfortunately, they soon had one more thing in common: the loss of their fathers to war.

King Raminas had hoped to forge an alliance between Dalmasca and Nabradia by wedding Ashe to Nabradia’s Prince, Lord Rasler, when she was seventeen and he was eighteen. Their marriage didn’t even last one day, as Archadia attacked Nalbina Fortress on the border of Dalmasca and Nabradia. As a show of solidarity, both Rasler and Basch rode out to meet the invading forces, but it was no use. The battle was lost, the Order of Dalmascan Knights was nearly all wiped out, and despite Basch’s best efforts to keep an eager yet foolish Rasler under his protective wing, the young prince was felled by a single arrow through his heart. Basch recovered his body, and so soon after Ashe was wed to Rasler, she buried him.

With Nabradia conquered and Dalmasca seemingly next, King Raminas sought a peaceful solution, but he was assassinated, putting the nail in the coffin of Dalmasca’s autonomy from the Empire. Ashe was devastated to learn that it had been Basch who had assassinated her father. He had been identified by a young soldier named Reks who said he saw his captain do the deed. Basch was arrested and sentenced to death, and Ashe assumed him dead, as did the rest of Ivalice.

I’ll skip over a lot of the nitty-gritty details here, but it was actually Gabranth who murdered the king at the order of Vayne Solidor, son of Emperor Gramis. Vayne, having assassinated his own father and wanting a continued war with Rozarria so that he could become the next Dynast King of all of Ivalice, wanted King Raminas dead instead of a peace treaty. He ordered Gabranth to impersonate his brother and kill Raminas, ensuring the war would continue. It was during this confrontation that Gabranth gave Basch the scar he wears on his face throughout the rest of the game. Although thought to be dead for two years, Basch was actually imprisoned for two years, tortured and interrogated by his brother and his soldiers, for information on the Resistance, a movement of those opposing the war and Archadia’s tyrannical regime. He was also kept alive as an insurance policy against the governor of a land valuable to Archadian interests despite their neutral status, Bhujerba. The governor had widely proclaimed that Basch was dead to further his political career, and if he did not favor Archadia going forward, Vayne threatened to reveal that Basch was alive and destroy his credibility.

Again, skipping a lot of details for length reasons, Ashe goes into hiding under the alias Amalia and, accumulating comrades to help her in her cause to regain control of Dalmasca and end the war, she seeks out proof of her birthright to give validity to her claim to the Dalmascan throne. This idea was given to her by Basch, who knows where to get an artifact of sorts, the Dawn Shard, that belonged to an ancestor of Ashe’s some 700 years ago. It’s location was known only to him, as related to him by King Raminas, who trusted Basch to not only protect Ashe, but to lead her to the artifact should the worst happen. Basch’s duty is to Ashe’s father, but he also cares about her as a person, and when he is reunited with her after two years, he endures her hatred and insults (and even getting smacked) with a calm sense of tolerance and quiet dignity. For two years, she’s believed that he murdered her father, which is a horrible betrayal for someone she considered a dear family friend and loyal servant, and he understands her anger. He lets her rage, complain, and cry at points throughout the game whenever she needs to, attempting to offer conversation and even advice whenever she would allow it. Basch tries to be her bodyguard, her advisor, and later her friend, wanting to see her succeed. As the truth about what happened to Raminas is discovered, Ashe finally believes Basch, and the two become closer at the events of the game unfold. I personally believe Basch loved Ashelia as more than a friend, and my interpretation of him will unless otherwise discussed, but it’s important to note that canonically there is no evidence of those feelings on his end or hers either.

Gabranth, on the other hand, continued to further Vayne’s conqueror’s agenda, building himself up into a very cruel and ominous figure within Archadia’s military. But Gabranth, deep down, is not inherently a terrible person. Anger and shame twisted him over the years, but he did have remorse for his deeds, especially framing his brother for regicide and essentially shattering Basch’s reputation throughout Ivalice. One of the ways in which he redeemed himself, or at least felt that he was doing something inarguably good, was by protecting Vayne’s twelve year-old brother, Larsa, who was not of his brother’s mind and did not want the war to continue. Warned by another Judge Magister that Larsa may be in danger from other Magisters as well as Vayne, Gabranth agreed to protect him. Larsa meant a lot to Gabranth, as much as Ashe meant to Basch, in that both brothers looked for good people to protect and found pieces of themselves in these young royals whose countries and families were in jeopardy in various ways.

Long story short, Ashe and her companions prove her claim to the throne, defeat Vayne, and Ashe and Larsa agree to call an end to the war. Just before Vayne is defeated, Basch and Gabranth meet and battle each other. At first, Gabranth continues to spout rage at Basch and to defend Archadian principles, but after he’s defeated by Basch and the rest of Ashe’s group, Basch calls him by his childhood name of Noah, and Gabranth reveals the pain underneath the anger and resentment.

Basch: “Let this end... Noah.”

Gabranth: “I’ve no right to be called by that name.”

Basch: “Then live... and reclaim it.”

Gabranth’s final redeeming act was to defend Larsa from Vayne, and he was mortally wounded in the process. He then asked Basch to protect Larsa, to which Basch agreed, and the brothers reconciled. Basch held his brother’s hand until he passed away, mourning him deeply despite all the years they had been estranged and their very pointed differences in thinking (x,x).

Once Ashe was reinstated as the rightful heir to the Dalmascan throne and the war had ended, Basch’s duty to her, or rather to her father, was completed. Despite that I personally believe he would have preferred to remain in Rabanastre, Dalmasca’s capital, with Ashe, Basch carried out his brother’s dying wish. He returned to Archadia with Larsa and assumed Gabranth’s identity, cutting his hair short and wearing Gabranth’s distinct Judge Magister’s armor. Some believe his helm was even equipped with a voice altering device, so that Basch’s voice would sound more like his brother’s. Keeping Gabranth “alive” kept the rest of the Judge Magisters at bay, provided military and political stability within Archadia following the death of Vayne Solidor, and provided Basch with the opportunity to protect Larsa physically if need be. With such a young emperor, Archadia’s government would have been left fragile otherwise.

The game leaves Basch there, serving as Judge Magister Gabranth for the forseeable future, but in a letter to Larsa, a former comrade suggests that Ashe misses him, and it’s clear that the thought that she might helps sustain Basch in a way. He closes his eyes after reading the letter, savoring the notion that she cares (x).

Basch’s story doesn’t end there, but I likely will go my own way with him after this, because I have not played Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings. I like to believe that, after serving as Gabranth in Archadia for several years, corruption and dissent are dealt with among the Judges and elsewhere in Archadia and Larsa’s safety is more secured. At that point, Gabranth’s death is revealed, and Basch is free to return to Dalmasca and to continue to serve Ashelia. My ideal ending for him is that he does end up with Ashe as her consort, but I do realize that is some pretty magical wishful thinking right there. But if I was in charge of his story, that’s where it would go. =)

#about the muse #basch fon ronsenburg #final fantasy xii #final fantasy 12 #ffxii

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highsviolets · 4 years

Text

like real people do, chapter one: obi-wan x handmaiden!reader

summary: in which you and obi-wan stumble into each other’s acquaintance through accidents of honor and pleasure

word count: 3k-ish

cw: brief, brief allusion to body dysmorphia in first paragraph after part one (a).

A/N: WOW it’s finally here!!! my handmaiden x obi fic!! my first multi chapter!! anon you are so patient. thank you for bearing with me as i developed this concept and finally got words onto paper. This lil chapter takes place at the beginning of AOTC and sets the scene for all sorts of shenanigans. pls be gentle folkx i am v nervous i hope you love these idiots honorable humans as much as i do.

*if this is your gif pls lmk!*

like real people do, a fic by corellians-only

prologue

Glamor. Satin. Hapan wine and curtseys and a diplomatic accent polishing over your country roots and the knife strapped to your thigh and a propensity to linger in shadows. This is your life, as handmaiden to Senator Padmé Amidala. This is your duty.

Grime. Sweat. Clone armies and custom armour and a commission muddling the balance of peace and deep-rooted affection and unwavering devotion to the Jedi Order. This is Obi-wan’s life, as High General of the Republic. This is his duty.

You meet before the chaos erupts, though, before it spills over the senate security and the temple’s walls and starts incinerating the foundations of life itself.

You meet before the chaos erupts, but your acquaintance is tangled with its aching tendrils. You do not see each other, at first. So many things are in the way. But slowly, gently, acquaintance forms into friend forms into companion forms into lover over cups of tea and night watches and snatched moments of vulnerability in a world that is determined to wrest your soul from your body. Armor and silk and robes are stripped away; duties that once swathed you tightly become more gentle. When you are together it is just you and him, but when you are in the world you are handmaiden and he is general.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves: let us go back to the beginning, when the wholeness was yet separate. Let us go back to the beginning, and meet ourselves anew. Let us go back to the beginning, where everything divines its purpose.

part one (a)

Shimmersilk voile glistens as you turn in the mirror. The tender glow of artificial sun lamps is enraptured by the diaphanous weave, and its metallic threads gleam under such ministrations. It’s a dress that drips with regality. A sense of noblesse oblige seems to ooze from every swish of the cape flowing from your cap sleeves, and you sigh. The act is heavy, and the cape grumbles as your shoulders heave with the motion. Brilliant flickers of gold and silver mock you as you continue to shift from side to side, scrutinizing your body from each angle. Another sigh leaves escapes through your nose, but this one is softer, gentler, more like the gossamer that now encloses you — more like the woman you been trained to be. You will never be as petite or slight as the Senator, but that, you observe, wrangling to adjust one final hairpin into your headpiece, was never quite the point. Your job is to stand in for her ladyship: not to assume her person.

The offending hairpin proves obstinate. You surrender to the cause and submit yourself to an evening of faint wisps of curled hair framing your face. Wisps of hair are too spontaneous. You must be crisp, but it is not about what you want — not in these petty, mundane expressions of living.

While you have been doing battle a figure has entered the room. It’s one of the Senator’s new Jedi protectors, if the robes are any indication. Without fanfare he approaches you and plucks the pin from your fingers, like he is intimately acquainted with such things and communes with them on a daily basis. Gentle fingers — though, the bruised knuckles tell you they are not immune to struggling against life’s grip — smooth the hair at the crown of your head before he slips the pin into its rightful place, nudging into the golden circlet now held secure. The sleeve of his robe caresses your cheek, obscuring your vision, and you feel with your , rather than see, all of this occur.

“All of this” happens without sound, without breathing almost, as though the two of you have entered a vacuum that warps both space and time and sound.

The man takes a step back and paints himself with an apologetic smile, clasping his hands together in the privacy of his robe and offering you a half-bow.

“I apologize for the liberty, your ladyship.” The Jedi’s voice is precise. “I do hope I wasn’t too forward.” He announces every syllable, acknowledges every idiosyncratic whimsy, each grammatical proclamation.

You meet his gaze in the mirror, and despite the shadows casting about, you can detect the openness, the earnestness of his gaze. He holds no tension in his face, or anywhere else in his body, for that matter. It has been a long while since you have seen someone so at peace. Perhaps, hidden under the cloak, his fingers are grasping at themselves, trying to be rid of the vestiges of forbidden touches.

A half-smile graces your painted lips and you incline your head. The movement cuts but a short arc in the air’s currents, just as you have been taught. “It is no matter.” You toy with the idea of letting him continue to believe you are Padmé, the thought careening through your mind like a model airspeeder run amok. You let the thought crash. It is above you to engage in such petty games, you decide. Padmé would not do it, and it is your job to act as she does. Besides, the Jedi would know, wouldn’t he? Can’t they read minds with the Force? That’s what fisherman in your village used to say when you would let your feet dangle off the docks and graze the surface of the water and watch the boats come in with the day’s catch.

So you turn, then, the cape twisting behind you, and address him face-to-face. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Master Jedi.” You gesture to your twinkling gown. “I am not the Senator.” You catch the tail end of his frown as you avert your gaze, fixating on some unseen object just out of sight. “I am but one of her ladyship’s handmaidens.” You hear the clipped tone of your voice, the way every word is measured like cups of flour, like the yards of fabric for this dress, and you think you hate it, but you cannot tell.

“Oh, I am sorry.” The apology is sincere and bookmarked with amusement, and he rocks back on his heels. It seems he is laughing at his own mistake. “I must however, inquire after the whereabouts of her ladyship. The council has requested that my padawan and I escort her to this evening’s function.” The Jedi’s hands drop to his sides and the robes that shield them follow.

“I’m afraid the Senator has already departed,” you say, making for the exit. The Jedi matches your stride. “She left with another Jedi some twenty standard minutes ago. I presume it was your padawan, Master Jedi?”

“Blast!” he murmurs, but you hear his swearing and duck your head to hide your grin. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, throwing a glance your way. “I’m afraid my padawan has a mind of his own.”

“I think the Senator and your padawan will get along famously, then,” you remark wryly. You have reached the landing pad and are about to bid him a good evening when he climbs into the shuttle and extends a hand to guide you.

“May I be of assistance?”

Skin meets skin for the second time that evening. At this rate you will be more acquainted with his body than your own, and as you sense his muscles grow taut when you shift your weight to board, an unfamiliar sensation embeds itself among the metallic threads. It feels like when you have to receive the Chancellor when Padmé is away on business, or when you act as decoy traveling to and from Theed, but more subtle, more inviting.

“Thank you, Master Jedi.” Skin breathes on skin for one, two heartbeats and then the contact withers and he drops your hand.

A silence nestles over the two of you as the pilot races you over to the function. It persists as he helps you exit the shuttle and delicately rearranges your cape, ensuring the shimmersilk is matches the beams of fractured stars.

Obi-wan does not know why he does this; he does not understand why he feels the nudging of the Force to offer his arm like he is a chivalrous courtier, but he obeys. It is his duty to obey the will of the Force, so he does.

part one (b)

The function teems with lifeforms, and each one spars for attention. They are wrapped in chiffon and decked in damask robes and fine crystals compete for light so they can shine that much brighter. It’s some gala ostensibly designed to raise credits for a struggling cause, and it is like all the rest. A pathetic excuse for most Senators to say they are dedicated to more than greed.

To you, it reeks of Coruscanti power; to him, it stinks of politics.

The Jedi Master spots the Senator and her Jedi protector before you do, and he steers you in their directly, swiftly sidestepping curious glances and intoxicated beings. You manage to snag a glass of something from a passing tray.

He bows again, deeply. His hair seems to blend in with the crowd — it is copper and gold and refined.

“My lady,” he intones, and his voice sparkles like the gem-encrusted champagne flute in Padmé’s hand.

“It’s lovely to see you again, Master Kenobi.” She looks up at the gangly teenager by her side. Rich chocolate and licorice colored robes complement the Senator’s wine-colored gown. It’s a striking image, despite the youth’s awkwardness, here in the blurry illumination of the cavernous room.

Padmé breaks into a full smile as she spots you lingering at Kenobi’s side. “I see you’ve met my handmaiden.”

“I suppose I have,” he says, examining you anew, “although I’m afraid introductions got swept away in the excitement.”

You think he sounds as unaffected by “the excitement" as one could possibly be, and the duplicity gnaws on your gentility.

You sip while Padmé sweeps together strands of lore about your service, about your loyalty, about your selflessness. The beverage is sweet and sparkling, rather like your gown, and like your dress, it feels sticky and cloying and altogether fake for something that tries so hard to be real. But you smile and nod and once more his skin melts into yours as he shakes your hand.

“The honor,” he says in that voice colored with melody, “is all mine.” You look into his cerulean eyes and wish, dimly, in that part of your brain untouched by starlight, that he had said pleasure.

Padmé’s eyes flicker between you and him, but the moment has passed. She pulls you away, citing the need for diplomatic business and brushes aside her escorts with a firmness she seems to have possessed since birth.

The pair of you wander through the crowd. You are always one step behind, always letting her be the first person they see. She is wearing her favorite designer tonight, and you wonder, taking another sip as she holds court with Bail Organa, why she has commissioned such a work of art for tonight’s event.

Like yourself, the Senator has opted for airy materials matched with splendor. And yet, her garb lacks your ethereality: the deep burgundy smacks of something firmly rooted in rich soil even as you strain heavenward. Tulle and satin are artfully draped over her lithe form, and beaded crystals cover her from head to toe. An open back reveals creamy skin. More than one being in the hall has dragged their eyes over the Senator’s body, straining to glimpse more, more, more, in the dim light.

The Senator pays them no mind. When she concludes her business with Organa, she refreshes her glass, and yours, and tucks you in her side. You begin to walk. It is an aimless thing, but not purposeful — now is when you see who is here, and who is not, who is watching, who pretends to look away, and who slips out unnoticed.

“How did you meet Master Kenobi?” you ask.

“Oh, it was years ago.” Padmé drinks. “I was still Queen at the time.”

“And?” Back in those days, she had retained at least a dozen of Naboo’s finest young women. Now, it’s just you and few others.

“And that was when we met,” she announces. “He’s very famous, you know. So is his padawan, Anakin Skywalker. They’ve protected at least half the galaxy.”

Confusion contorts your features, carving rivers in your forehead. “I’ve never heard of them.”

Padmé laughs, but the expression is faint, almost undetectable. Senators do not typically jest with their bodyguards. “That’s because you think anyone who reports on the Jedi is a gossip-mongering snob and you refuse to read anything about them.” She squeezes your arm and drops her voice to a whisper. “Don’t know know they’re the ones who write all the good stuff?”

“All…the good stuff,” you echo, voice flat and uncomprehending.

Padmé simply rolls her eyes and resume her stride. “They’re in charge of my security now, with Captain Typho. I expect that you’ll be working closing with Master Kenobi. Please help him fulfill his mandate from the Council in anyway you can.”

The mere suggestion of working with that man twists your insides. It’s the same feeling from earlier, swirling and basing into unease. Work with a Jedi? A famous one? The ache anxiety you are used to. It is familiar and it is your unwelcome companion but you have made peace with each other. This — this is something new. This is a grinding jaw and a drawbridge heart and hot and cold dueling for dominance in your stomach and something so strangely akin to anger. You drink more champagne to mask the disconcerting sensation.

part one (c)

The Senator is being pulled away, now, to a group of prominent Senators to discuss the new child labor protection regulations. She does her job and you do yours, melting into the shadows, embracing them, keeping eyes on all those who gather near to your mistress.

Master Kenobi’s sudden appearance at your side does not surprise you, though perhaps it should.

“Are you quite sure you’re able to keep watch on her ladyship from this distance?” His words are no longer melodic. They come to your ears dry and flinty, the way rocks feel without the rain to abate their constancy.

“Quite.” You fail to elaborate because there is simply nothing more to say.

“Your disguise is quite effective. You must pass along my compliments to Captain Typho and the rest of the security team.” He tries again, but you refuse to be endeared. He is stubborn, just like you — he resists being broken down by your cool acidity.

“Thank you, Master Kenobi.” You finally meet his gaze. “I was worried it would be too intricate, but the Senator assured me I had selected the perfect piece. It’s just enough like her for people to not look twice.”

“You engineered this?” Master Kenobi’s body is static, but his face swells with vivacity. A minuscule gesture to the left, an arching eyebrow, a corner of his mouth quirks upwards, ascending to meet his eyes.

“It’s my job,” you return, but the pH of your tone has neutralized somewhat. You are uncomfortable, so you try to tease him. “Maybe one day I can show you how to use all the weapons I have under this gown, and you will believe I can do my job.”

You regret the tawdry joke immediately when he shifts and looks away. “I’m sorry I’ve offended you, my lady.” Master Kenobi analyzes you, then the Senator, and sighs heavily. “I see you have everything well in hand. I shall bid you good evening, then, my lady.” He bows and exits in a boiling mass of robes, his padawan not far behind. Anakin Skywalker lingers on the threshold, gazing into the crowd, eyes frantic, but his Master beckons and he follows obediently.

part one (d)

It is not until early morning, during that brief moment between night and dawn, that you are able to think clearly about the strange feeling gurgling in your chest.

You think of Master Kenobi and his sentimental hair and the caramel of his accent. You wonder about his hands grazing yours, how your fingers curled so naturally around his, the ghost of fingertips in your hair. You consider his attempts at gallantry, at his fealty to his duty, to Padmé embrace of his presence and her lavish praise.

And you ask yourself what would it have been like, if he were just a boy, and you were just a girl, and maybe if he had danced with you he could have respected you more, and maybe if you had been less defensive he would have been more contrite, and you laugh at yourself.

Silly girl, you think as sleep nibbles at your vision. Those are not our kind of dreams.

tbc.

#obi-wan x reader #obi wan x reader #obi-wan x you #obi wan x you #obi wan imagine #obi-wan imagine #star wars fic #handmaidens #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #fic: like real people do #i am v tired now #honor kink #cris writes

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headoverjojo · 4 years

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Hi honey could you do hcs for jotaro meeting jolyne's friend for the first time (reader) and she has the same personnality as kakyoin avdol and polnareff all mix together please ? -Sarah

Hi Sarah!! Awwww, such a lovely request :,) Absolutely! Here we go, I hope you’ll like it! :3

Jotaro Kujo meets Jolyne’s friend -whose personality is a mix of Kakyoin, Polnareff and Avdol’s- for the first time

Since he had almost lost his daughter, Jotaro tried to be more present in her life. He tried to fix his mistakes, finally clarifying everything with his wife, and, slowly, the bond between him and Jolyne started to finally heal. She saw his efforts, and was really touched by his genuine interest in having a good father-daughter bond. He tried to be more open, more honest, not to keep secrets from them… he had seen that keeping secrets could just lead to potential dangers. He was trying to be… a normal dad. Step by step, he tried to know more his daughter. What were her interests? Her favourite songs? Who were her friends? Jolyne, even if she was quite happy to see her dad more interested in her life, after years of distance, still found a little difficult to open up about her life. It was a big deal… but Jotaro accepted it. He couldn’t oblige her to change in a matter of days, so, he never insisted about it. His surprise was sincere when Jolyne, one day, asked him if he wanted to meet her best friend.

He was really curious to meet them. Jolyne was still really reserved about her social life, so he knew that opening up, for her, was a big deal, and he respected it. He was sure that her friend was a special person: Jolyne wasn’t a girl who could stand bland and boring people. He was expecting to meet an explosive person! And he wasn’t disappointed: Jolyne’s friend really was someone special. And it touched strings that Jotaro had almost forgotten. Almost.

He could see in their movements and behaviour the same pride and confidentiality that marked Kakyoin. They bowed their head, respectful, but he also noticed that they didn’t like to do it, just like Kakyoin. Kakyoin… he could almost see him in front of himself, his red hair, that absurd long bang on his face, the green uniform… his pride and steely nerves always carried him to the light, even in his last moments. He always regretted his death; it had been so tragic, so… so unfair. He always felt that, if fate was different, they would have become friends. He knows that Jolyne would have always been able to rely on them. They wouldn’t have let her down.

Then, while they were talking about school, plans for the future -the classic “what would you like to do when you’re graduated?”-, Jotaro was suddenly struck by a nostalgic feeling. Their words were full of determination and… yes, sense of duty. They really seemed a responsible and firm person, one ready to do everything to accomplish their duty and to protect the people they loved. He had already met someone like them… it was Avdol. He clearly remembered his towering figure, his imposing yet gentle aura. He was the most loyal and devoted friend anyone could wish for. Once someone had his loyalty, it was forever, unless he was betrayed. Avdol was warm and fierce like the fire his Magician Red could control so flawlessly, and the world was a little emptier, now that he wasn’t here anymore. Jotaro was happy, however, to see that his daughter’s friend was as loyal and firm as he was; they would have been the rock that would have never left her side.

When he was in the kitchen, picking up a small tray with three cups of coffee, he heard a burst of laughs from the living room. He peeked, and saw Jolyne and her friend laughing so much they were holding their bellies. Her friend wheezed something between a laugh and another, and Jolyne laughed even more, trying not to cry. Jotaro couldn’t help but to smile a little: he was sure they were a funny person, knowing Jolyne’s personality… and he instantaneously thought about Polnareff. Polnareff had many flaws, but, also, many qualities, and one of them was that he was able to always lighten the mood. Polnareff was honest in a disarming way, carrying his heart on his sleeve; while Jotaro hid his emotions behind carefully crafted walls, Polnareff openly cried when their companions were so cruelly killed. And Jotaro felt those tears, he felt them in his eyes too; he cried through Polnareff. He knew that Jolyne wasn’t as reserved and emotionally closed as he was -and he was grateful of this-, but he knew how stubborn and stern she could be. He was glad she had at her side a honest friend who could make her smile even when times were dark. She would have needed it.

When they finally bid goodbye, Jolyne was surprised to see a small and soft smile on her father’s lips. And were his eyes glossy or was she going crazy…? When he looked at her, he was still soft. “You’ve got a great friend.” he said, gently patting her head, like he always did when she was a child. “I’m happy for you.” Jolyne couldn’t help but to smile widely. She was so happy that her dad could get along well with her best friend! Little she knew that her friend almost seemed a gift from old companions who weren’t anymore on this land. Well… that was a story for another time.

#jjba #stone ocean #ocean family #jotaro kujo #jolyne kujo #jolyne's friend #reactions hcs #headcanons #sfw #anon ask #sarah

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metvmorqhoses · 4 years

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Why do you think Voldemort never hooked up with another woman but Bella ? Were his choices limited to his ranks ? Were most women afraid of him ? Did he find Bella convenient since she was his DE and married? Don't men get bored with too much devotion ? She let him know how much she cared about him . Was she simply good in bed so he didn't need to look elsewhere? Was her being married another thing he found convenient? Was she convenient or special ? How was he as a 'lover' in your opinion ?

well, you provoke me and i oblige - or as i like to call it: the 100th novel-length essay on bellamort.

the reasons that in my eyes ultimately made bellatrix “the only one” for voldemort are many and various, but at the end of the day it has everything to do with who and how i think he was as a person.

as i said many times before and i feel the duty to keep specifying, over the years i started to consider these characters in a more adult and complex way, imagining them as real life persons and not fairy-tale villains and that’s where my analyses of them come from. sadly what jkr told us about their relationship is close to nothing, so all we have here is thought processes and fervent opinions about their few, filtered by harry’s eyes and painfully public interactions.

now, voldemort’s character, if looked at beyond the pure ideal of power and darkness that he so carefully built around himself, is clearly a human being as deep as the very pit of hell and full of contradictions, twistedness, beauty and voids to fill.

bear with me, because you cannot really understand what i think bellatrix was for him without explaining how i see his psychology first, which i think many many times is overly simplyfied and excused with a shrug and a “well, he’s evil”:

voldemort was born with a genius intelligence and magical talent, the most handsome looks and yet he was not only completely and utterly alone, but also a completely broken human since birth. his mother porpuselly conceived him putting his muggle father under a love potion, so he’s basically the direct offspring of the worst kind of rape: not only his mother abused his father physically, forcing him to have sex with her without his consent, but even emotionally, because she forced him to have feelings for her - as untrue as they might have been. not only that, but voldemort was clearly unloved by his parents from the very start, abandoned by them both in different ways before he was even capable to remember them. he had then been raised and abused since the most tender age in a filthy orphanage where everyone shunned and feared and made him believe he was insane, treating him god’s knows how badly, because he was able to do “things” no one else could, things that made people uncomfortable (think at how bigots can abuse children nowadays with the excuse of possession without magic or the devil even existing, i wouldn’t be surprised if tom as a child was put under monstrous rituals with the hope of exorcising him, it was after all the 30s in a really degraded and poor environment). imagine the hate, the resentment, the fear, the basic instinct to survive and only caring about himself that must have started to boil inside of him in the most dangerous of ways. he surely had the inclination to became what he ultimately became from birth, but goodness how life helped him. he learnt to defend and avenge himself from such a hostile world from the very start, it was a matter of surviving or succumbing. and then, at some point of his young age, he finally started to master and taste something that made him feel good, that made him feel right about himself, he started to enjoy the feeling of being in control of his abusers, of manipulating them, of hurting them, of taking what he wanted from them, the feeling of power - and moreover, a power that directly originated from inside himself - his power. he obviously started to consider himself his own savior, he started to intimately feel special, better than anyone, superior. at the same time he started to hate muggles, because muggles had been his first real source of utter isolation and pain (thing reinforced by the discovery, many years later, that his father, the reason he had to go through all that, was one of them). then, out of the blue, he was told that “more” he had so strong inside of himself was indeed magic. imagine the feeling of validation he must have felt about his uniqueness and superiority, imagine how powerfully his addiction to this wondrous thing he could finally name must have taken definitive root inside of him. magic became his everything, his religion, his purpose, his assurance of never having to feel weak, vulnerable or defenseless ever again. magic was the fuel that alimented everything he literally had in the world and that he ever felt comfortable to ever want (uniqueness, power, superiority, extraordinariness). human relationships were ludicrously out of the question in his eyes since he was a child. human beings were not reliable nor trustworthy. human beings were an utter disappointment, everyone was beneath him and no one really deserved his consideration anyway. magic was everything that really mattered. without magic, he was literally nothing - or at least that’s what life had convinced him of. an existence of his not desperately clutched on and inextricably intertwined with it was not something he even dared to fathom for himself. if you understand this, if you understand the perversion of his dependency towards magic, everything he ever did becomes painfully clear. magic for him was something so fundamental, so deeply mingled with his very being (and this is probably also the reason he indeed was the most powerful wizard that ever lived), that growing up he became more and more desperately obsessed about preserving and strengthening it. this is the root of his every choice, from venturing into the dark arts turning out completely disfigured but incredibly more powerful, to believing he could actually be the first immortal in history, to his entire anti-muggle politics. not only muggles were inferior and disgusting to him, but their mingling with wizards was in his eyes a dreadful threat to the very existence of magic and therefore everything special he ever had been. as a result, he ventured deeper and deeper into it, never to come back. no magic act seemed against nature to him, because he considered himself one with it. this is where his iron-rooted god complex comes from and i think it’s something a little more complicated than simple megalomania. but this is also where his problems with his own humanity (and other’s) started. at some point he really considered himself more than human, of a different species. no aspect of humanity meant anything to him, on the contrary, i think he had terrible problems with every basic human behavior, from caring, to having to eat and drink to survive, to sweating and having sexual impulses - and, of course, to the ultimate form of humanity, dying. i think he was profoundly disgusted by his and other’s physicality, to anything that could remind him of his mortality, even a breath.

and that’s why i don’t really think even as a most handsome young men he even spared girls or women a glance. i think he considered the whole thing far beneath him, as if a god was interested in exchanging fluids with worms. i also think deep down there was simultaneously an intellectual and not only a physical element in his disgust: i think he considered his good looks something pleasant to look at in a mirror (he only deserved the best, even in a face), quite useful, but in general absolutely meaningless and void. not to mention that was his muggle father’s face, the revolting beauty that doomed it as a child and that shamed him every day looking back at him in the mirror. the entire crowds of girls that without any doubt must have fawned over him at school were probably amusing to him in rare particularly good days and insufferable and despicable the rest. no one deserved to be around him, no one could understand his real greatness or void anyway, no matter how low they rightfully bowed - and they had to bow, but from a fair distance. i think the mere thought of sex was something absolutely revolting to him.

until.

now you are probably starting to understand why i needed this endless preface to answer your question.

i think bellatrix was something really unexpected for him, that came relatively late in his life while he was busy with everything else, building an empire and becoming a most powerful immortal creature, and it was extraordinary enough to enkindle something in him, in his humanity, at first even without his consent or him even noticing.

yes, you heard me right, despite all i have just written, lord voldemort was still human being and of a really damaged and flawed kind, no matter what he stubbornly wanted to believe about himself.

i think the first immediate reason that sparkled voldemort’s interest was that bellatrix somehow reminded him of himself. and we do know that he was really able to love only himself. this is the ultimate narcissistic thought process. she was everything he admired of his own qualities: beautiful, dark, incredibly intelligent and magically skilled, proud, ambitious, ruthless, power-angry. they were incredibly similar. but she was at the same time somehow more than him, she actually was what he thought he was supposed have been: the heir of one of the most noble and ancient magical families of britain, pure powerful blood in her veins. it’s obvious he took her under his wing, thinking such a talent was a most valuable addiction to his cause, especially because along all that, bellatrix was able from the start to show him a loyalty, usefulness and adoration of a different, truer kind from all the others. and i think he really valued that, i think he was completely aware she was the only person he could really trust and i think it wasn’t a secondary thing for someone who had never really trusted anyone from the day he was born - that he was aware of it or not. one thing is believing your followers are loyal to you and your cause (an example is snape), another is having the absolute certainty that someone will always be at your side, no matter how desperate the situation - and only bellatrix was ever able to provide him that. he was intelligent enough to tell the difference. i think bellatrix’s unfaltering loyalty and mind-presence at azkaban for fourteen years after his apparent demise was something that really won his respect and admiration. and no, i don’t really think voldemort was the kind of person that gets tired of too much devotion, at least not a true, sincere one, as the kind bellatrix’s provided him from day one. i actually think he was in desperate need of it, consciously or not. voldemort probably had, in my vision, a peculiar relationship with devotion and servility: he thought everyone owed him as much, but was at the same time quite annoyed by too much of it (killing people who said too much “my lords”). but not too much of bellatrix’s, and it’s probably because of the fact hers was of a deeper and more honest kind of devotion.

we don’t have to forget bellatrix was almost as egocentric, proud and vain as him, this is the woman who sits on chairs as if they were thrones. she was wizarding royalty and she sure as hell acted accordingly, she was used to have everyone bow to her (and if they didn’t, she made them). and the fact that she, this fearless tigress, only bowed to him, out of admiration and not blind fear (even if a healthy component of fear was indeed present in her as well), was certainly a reason of great pleasure and amusement to him. don’t even forget i totally believe bella amused him as hell. can you imagine anyone else rendered a blathering idiot in front of him, following him so closely, too closely, speaking without asking, etc, who would have lived to tell the tale? bella was allowed things no one else was, pet name included.

she was one hell of a woman, painfully like him, that literally melted and would have died any moment for him. this started to move things inside of him that i’m sure at first he didn’t like, especially the physical impulses. i said many times i’m convinced at first he was resolute into killing her. the fact that in the end he didn’t tells the tale for me. who knows, maybe the killing in the middle turned into other primordial activities. sexually, i do think he had the need to use a fair amount of violence, not so much because he wanted to hurt her, but to deal with the mortality/humanity aversion, and i think bellatrix was the only woman who was mentally built to not only understand, but enjoy that. i think bella’s legs went week in front of his displays of power, no matter if the victim was her. i wasn’t really a matter of dominating her spirit, but totally possessing her body for him. funnily enough, i think he absolutely respected her in his own twisted way and that she totally thought the same. that respect had nothing to do with their physical and political power dynamics.

again, they were absurdly similar and well-matched. i think at some point she became invaluable to him in a similar way magic was, so much he actually risked his own life and failure to ensure she wasn’t captured again. everyone else was disposable, but not his bella. he could have punished her the rare times she let him down, but as a death eater, not as a person. i think bellatrix was the only case in which the two things in his mind were actually separate even if linked.

they fond each other in darkness and voldemort, lover of uniqueness, surely understood the extraordinary quality of such a relationship. he wanted only the best for himself, he deserved as much, and bellatrix was the actual best in his mind. she, having a similar thought, had inside of her a dramatic and overwhelming pull towards darkness, power and violence, and he embodied them all and much more in her eyes.

so, in conclusion (because i could go on for several other hours), for sure bellatrix was also, along with all the other things, convenient to him, not so much because she was married, because i think neither of them gave an effing fuck about it, but because she was perfect for him in basically every single way (best death eater, genius, skilled, pureblood, devious, not afraid of his darkness but drawn to it, loyal, submitted to him but only to him), as if he himself had carefully molded out of clay his ideal match.

as to how i think voldemort was as a lover - really, really painfully disturbing, as his whole character. i don’t think him really able to separate passion and violence, for example, and i see him really prone to dangerous mood swings, trust issues and destructive tendencies. he was also surely overly possessive of bellatrix, his bella. he was the only one entitled to treat her as he pleased, no one else, no matter if he had just crucioed the hell out of her. lay a finger on her and you are dead. also, i don’t really think he ever told her just how much she meant for him, on the contrary i think whenever he thought she was getting too close and him too attached, he would mercilessly push her away, even violently.

but at the same time i see him quite thoughtful and appreciative of everything bellatrix was, much more than any other man or husband of that society. he really thought she was the best besides himself. that he told it out loud or not, i think he was well aware of all bellatrix’s qualities, especially the ones she directed towards him, and was intimately and very deeply proud of her. i think he was really grateful for her existence and the moment she died he just knew everything was lost.

#bellamort #here i am voldemort's psychologist welcome to my office #lord voldemort #tom marvolo riddle #bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #hp #in the land of gods and monsters #villains #one and one thousand stories lis told #asks/replies #anon

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mystifyingorbit · 4 years

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Papilio

Prompt: Hi, can I request a scenario where the reader is a spy tasked to kill Princess Chaewon, but they fall in love instead, so they run away together.

Here you go anon!! Hope you enjoyed it :D

gif credit: prkgowons

-----

You were desperate for money when you were first recruited into the army. Both of your parents have just died and you needed to take care of yourself with no one there for you, so when they made an offer you couldn’t really refuse. You’ve always blended in well in society and had an uncanny knack for unearthing secrets, hence why it was quite natural for you to be a spy.

You’ve been placed in many different assignments, among others being stopping the unrest led by JYP and as a spy in the court of one of the puppet states, but never have you been assigned to a high profile target in a different kingdom, always targets in your kingdom, as you’ve always been more familiar with the customs within anyway.

Hence your surprise when you’ve been assigned to spy on the princess of a neighbouring country. You were one of the closest in presumed age to the unnamed butterfly princess and were the most likely candidate to be able to infiltrate the kingdom, especially because you’ve lived on the outskirts before and understood their language. Of course, knowing your superiors, you are probably not the only spy sent, however, you humoured their reasonings and followed their instructions, as per usual. Their task was pretty vague, however, in that you should find some way to be able to approach the princess and to await future instructions.

So, this leads to where you are now. Butterfly kingdom, on the way to the capital, wondering what the hell are you going to do to get into the castle. As you arrive in town, you spot an enchanting girl with butterfly earrings and a butterfly mark on her left wrist in front of an apple stand in the market. From the vague descriptions you’ve been given, she fits the profile of the princess and you couldn’t be more captivated. (You expected her to be pretty, her having always been described as such, but those descriptions don’t really give her beauty justice.)

As you tried to think of a way to gain her trust, you notice a group of thugs (most likely from a neighbouring kingdom) approaching the princess. Usually, in most kingdoms, a guard would step in, but there was no sign of any guard around, so you took the opportunity, seeing as you had some semblance of combat training.

When they tried approaching the princess, you started walking in that direction, calmly preparing to draw your sword. They started to threaten the princess, as you notice how she shied away and started backing away, her face frightened at the realization that no one in the area can help her. You couldn’t stand aside and watch the helpless girl any longer, so you stepped in front of her and drew your blade. While the thugs outnumber you, they started backing off when they saw the silver blade, a gift from your employers.

As you turned around to talk to the princess, she immediately pulled you into a hug as thanks. You could feel your cheeks glow red as you shyly look away from the blonde girl in your arms. As she pulls away, she cheerfully introduces herself as Go Won and asks you to accompany her around for protection, as her usual guard is currently sick, as if you’re someone she’s known for years. (You wish you could understand how a girl can be so naive and trusting to someone she’s never met.). Of course, knowing this might be the only chance for you to achieve your goals, you accept. You wouldn’t turn down a favourable prospect like this.

As you escorted the princess around, you can see how much of a kind and pleasant person she is. She’s helpful and caring to those around her, even those supposedly in a lower class to her. It’s refreshing to see someone this perfect and filled with love, yet it also fills your heart with guilt with what you were supposed to do. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t get attached, else you grow fond of the enemy.

Once you were done, the two of you headed to the castle. There, you were hired as an additional guard, when the princess put in a good word for you with her parents after what happened. You just bowed in thanks, grateful for the opportunity coming from the princess’s naivety. Yet you also feel a growing feeling of guilt set in your stomach.

----

You found out the Princess' full name is Park Chaewon. When you ask about the name you were given, she mentioned that Gowon was a nickname her family gave her. A pretty name for a pretty girl. As you start your duty as a guard, your main task was to accompany Gowon on trips to the market or when she’s visiting others around the kingdom, where you get to see even more of her generosity and kindness. You can’t help but get to know her a bit better, and she’s grown quite attached to you.

It’s another trip to the market, where you first met her. She’s currently talking to one of the vendors, asking about the state of the kingdom and if there are any issues she can help with. You can see how the vendors are all clamouring for her attention, clearly enamoured with the princess who only brings joy to those within the kingdom.

You wish you could’ve kept your promise, to not grow attached to the girl smiling in front of you. You’ve genuinely grown to like Gowon, which is something that wasn’t supposed to happen. You were here to spy on her and report it to your superiors, not befriend the girl. Especially with new instructions coming within this fortnight.

As she turned to look at you, you stare into her eyes, losing yourself in them for a moment. Shaking your head, you turned your head away, feeling flush in embarrassment at being caught. Why did you have to get so attached to this girl you have barely gotten to know. Is it because of how naive and trusting she is, that makes you feel that you have to protect her? Maybe it could be how she cares about everyone? You can clearly see she cares about everyone, though it takes someone blind to not notice that she favours you, with how she always talks to and spends time with you, even if you’re only a guard.

It could be that you are the closest to her in age, with you being less than a year younger than her. It could also be how you saved her, or how you always take your time to comfort the princess. Whatever it is, it’s clear that the boundaries between the two of you are disappearing, as are your duties and loyalties as a guard to her and as a spy to your home.

One day, while you were standing guard while she sits in her garden, she asks you to sit next to her. You comply, not one to refuse a request from her. You both sit in the silence for a bit, content with just enjoying the moment, until she turns to you and smiles. She exclaims, “I still have to thank you for saving me back when we first met.”, her eyes teary.

You wanted to pull her in for a hug, but you know it wasn’t in your position to do so. So you decide to comfort her a different way, speaking up. “You don’t have to thank me, anyone who had the means would do the same.”

She scoots closer to you, and you hold your breath as she leans her head on your shoulder, “But no one else did, you were the only one.”

You decide it was the right time to bring up something that has been bothering you, “Why did you trust me? I was just a stranger to you, surely I could’ve meant you harm?”

Gowon just turns to look at you knowingly, a soft smile on her face. “I have my reasons.”

You just looked at the princess expectantly, before sighing and looking away disappointedly, expecting her to not explain any further.

To your surprise, you hear her speak up not long after, trying to articulate her thoughts. “You were the first and only person to step in to protect me when you had no real reason,” you felt a twinge of guilt here, “to do so. No obligations, no relations. You’re not even from our kingdom, yet you stepped in to help a stranger.” She points a finger at your chest, “From that point, I knew you had a good heart, which makes it easy to trust you.”

You wished that was the case, that you were truly devoted to her. It would’ve made serving her (loving her) so much easier, yet you knew otherwise, that you were a spy serving your own country, and that her trust in you was misplaced and undeserved.

---

You didn’t know when it started really, but you notice yourself staring a lot more at Gowon. You tried to justify it as doing your job in keeping an eye on her, but you knew it was something else exactly. The title she was given, the Butterfly Princess, fits perfectly in this situation too, because every time you see her, or even when her name is brought up, you can feel the butterflies in your stomach. Drat! You’re falling for her.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to get attached. You curse yourself for letting this happen, but looking back really, you realize it was inevitable. Gowon’s just the kind of person no reasonable person (and you’re perfectly reasonable thank you) can hate and everyone loves.

---

You rubbed your eyes and took a fifth look at the letter, not believing the words you see on the parchment. Kill Her. That’s it, that’s all the letter says. You buried your face in your hands, heart heavy for what you are supposed to do. Kill Gowon? You sighed, knowing you’re going to be facing an impossible task. Will you be able to kill her and get out alive? Surely not, the people adore the princess, if she was found missing it wouldn’t take much convincing for a manhunt to occur.

You’re not even sure if you could kill her. Sure, you’re probably physically capable of killing her, but do you really want to kill this bright and cheery girl who’s warmed her way into your heart?

You close the letter and sit back on your bed, sighing. You know that whatever you choose to do, you’re going to have to betray someone, even if it pains you to do so. The country you were born or raised in, or the princess you’ve grown to care for, the one who accepted you without hesitation into their life.

---

It was the middle of the night and no one was awake. You quickly headed towards the princess’ room, as there was no guard right now, after you convinced them to go on a night out at the pub. You quietly entered the room, closing the door behind you. You find your target sleeping peacefully on the bed, somehow looking even more elegant in the night. One slit is all it takes, and then you can quietly leave before anyone realizes.

You’re a monster for even considering it, but orders are orders. You draw your dagger and approach the girl you swore to protect. You hesitated, but you knew it was better this way. Painless, in her sleep, with no worries, even as your own heart starts to crack. You kneel on the floor next to the bed and close your eyes, wishing her a happy afterlife. As you move your dagger to her throat, you hear a sleepy whisper. “y/n?”

You recoil back in surprise, as you realized you were not quiet enough. You sigh, before properly placing your dagger on her throat, shame and self-hatred setting in as she winces when the cold steel touches her skin. “Forgive me” you whisper, eyes already tearing up.

Yet, strangely, the girl in front of you seems calm, unphased at the prospect of her death. She just turns to you, her eyes not fearful, but almost pitying. “Why are you doing this?”

You clamp your mouth shut, willing yourself to not speak a single word. However, you can feel that resolve shatter as one of her hands grasps your other hand, holding it tenderly, even while you are attempting to kill its owner. “I’m not who you think I am.” you exclaim, trying to control the quiver of your knife wielding hand.

“Are you not y/n? My trusted guard and closest friend.” she says, eyes still staring into your own.

You immediately looked down, feeling unworthy of her attention and care. “I am, yet I’m also y/n, spy for the sun kingdom, one who’s task is to murder the princess of Butterfly kingdom, to murder you.”

You nervously fidget, waiting for her reaction as you dare not to look at her. Waiting for her to scream and call the other guards, for her to stare at you, to bat your hand away, to curse at you, any reaction at all. You deserve all that and more. Yet, nothing came, only her hand in yours, still stroking it softly. “Then why are you hesitating?” she whispers knowingly after a few moments of silence.

At that moment, you realized you were screwed. There was no way you would be able to kill this girl that means so much to you, even at the cost of your life back at home. You sigh as you drop the knife by your side and fall to the ground, sitting facing away from the bed, head in hands.

You heard rustling from the bed behind you, and before long you felt someone take a seat to your right. “It’s ok…” you hear, as she tries to soothe you.

This only makes you feel worse, as the person you betrayed, the person you tried to kill, is now comforting you. How can she still care for you after what you just tried to do? So you voiced that out, asking her why she still cares after what you’ve revealed and done, why she isn’t rushing to get you imprisoned.

Gowon just wraps her left arm around you, pulling you into a hug, not saying a word. You can feel the love and kindness from her, which both soothes you and makes you feel guiltier. How could you try and kill this wonderful woman, who is basically kindness incarnate. You know you’re going to jail, maybe you’ll be executed. In all honesty, you deserve that, deserve whatever is coming for you tomorrow.

After you’ve calmed yourself down, you turn to look at her, tears in her eyes. You hate being the cause of that, the cause of her pain. There is something you’d like to ask her, something you don’t deserve, but you’d like to be selfish one last time, before everything will be taken away from you.

“I know it’s likely that I won’t ever see the light of day ever again after tomorrow,” you start to ramble, as you get more and more distraught and desperate, “so can I just stay here, with you, even if I don’t deserve this, I’d like to spend one last time with you, you don't...” You couldn’t finish the sentence, as she just pulls you into a deeper hug, before whispering, “of course.”

You sob again, tears flowing down your cheek. Yet, at what maybe is your last day of freedom, everything’s just bittersweet.

---

As expected, the next day you were thrown into the castle dungeon. You didn’t struggle, why would you try to escape something you deserve? Your only consolation being how, even through all this, Gowon still continues to smile.

You sigh, sitting in one of the corners, and prepare yourself for what might be the end of your freedom for life. You have regrets, many regrets, but you could only be grateful for what you have experienced, have achieved. You were happy, both back at home and in the few months you were here.

---

It was the day after, when you received your first surprise. When you heard footsteps clinking down the stairs, you expected it to be the guard dropping off food for you (even through all this, they still treated you better than most prisoners, something you're grateful for). You didn’t bother looking up, as every time food was delivered it was just slid into the cell.

That is until you heard a soothing voice, one you never expected to hear again. “Hey y/n.”

Princess Gowon, in front of your cell, as elegant as ever.

You could only stare, wondering what she is doing here. Gowon must have sensed your confusion, as she just smiles and exclaims cheerfully “Visiting my best friend of course.”

You stood up before moving to sit in the corner nearest to the front of the cell. “You still call me your best friend? Why?”

Gowon just laughs as she sits next to you, grasping your hand through the bars of your cell. “You didn’t kill me, and you’re still the same y/n who became my guard and saved me, that won’t ever change.”

The two of you just sat, enjoying each other’s company for a while.

However, before she left, you warned her that you might not be the only spy, that the sun kingdom might have sent more, that they never send only one spy.

---

She continued to visit everyday for the next week, and you couldn’t be more grateful. That you have outside company, and that she still cared enough for you, to spend what is most likely an hour a day just to spend time with you.

It was exactly ten days after your incarceration when you were surprised again. You were sleeping comfortably, as comfortably as you could in this cell anyway, when you were woken up by whispering. You groggily rub your eyes, before turning to look at your cell’s opening. There, you see Gowon holding some keys. Wait, was she wearing a hood? You rubbed your eyes more, clearly you’re just seeing things. Nope, she’s still standing right there. “What are you doing here?” You ask quietly.

She quickly busied herself with unlocking your cell, as she answered that she was getting you out of here.

“Why?” you asked, bewildered.

She just stares at you in disbelief at your question. And you understood. Really, looking back, the hints were clearly there.

How her smiles were different when directed to you, softer and sweeter. How she always made time for you, almost even more than anyone else. How you were always her first pick to accompany her in outings. Her answers when you asked her why she trusted you. How she only smiled when you attempted to kill her, then comforted you, her would be killer, right after. How even after you were imprisoned she continued to put away her time of day for you.

The door unlocked, and you walked out, a bittersweet smile at the thought of never seeing her again.

You pulled her in for one last hug, she accepts it.

“Is this goodbye?” you ask, softly.

She smiles softly, and shakes her head. “No, this is just the beginning.”

You understood. She takes a few steps, offered her arm to you. You grabbed it, and followed her into the unknown.

#kpop scenarios #Loona #loona scenarios #go won #asks #Loona Imagines

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