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fluentmoviequoter · 2 days

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The Better, Not So Hidden Half

Part 2 of The Better, Hidden Half

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!reader

Summary: After Tim decided he didn't want to keep you hidden any longer, you meet the rest of his friends (colleagues, as he prefers), but not the way he planned.

Warnings: depiction of minor injuries (Tim), fluff, grumpy!Tim, Smitty, mentions of drugging

Word Count: 1.9k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

When Tim was infected by an unknown biological weapon, he told you that he wanted to stop keeping you separate from the rest of his life. You’re his better half, and he cares deeply about you and your safety, but that doesn’t mean you should be his hidden half. During his short stay in the hospital, Wade introduced you to Lucy Chen, Tim’s rookie, and John Nolan. Since then, however, Tim hasn’t done proper introductions or made any real changes. He has started wearing his wedding ring to work, though, rather than leaving it on a chain around your neck. Baby steps, maybe, but it’s progress.

Your phone rings while Tim is at work, and your breaths grow shallow when you see Wade’s name on the screen. The last time something happened to Tim, Angela called you; any time you see Wade Grey, Angela Lopez, or Talia Bishop’s names appear on your phone, your heart drops in fear for your husband.

“Hey, Wade,” you answer softly.

“Can you please come talk some sense into your husband?” he asks.

Wade's tone and accompanying sigh are all you need to hear to know he’s tired. Sirens have surrounded you all day, so you’re not surprised that something happened.

“About what?” you reply.

“Sorry for the surprise call,” he adds, “I know those can be concerning, so I’ll go ahead and tell you that Tim was in a minor accident, but he’s refusing to get looked at.”

“Shocking,” you joke. “I’ll be there soon. How is he?”

Wade begins to answer, but you hear Tim yell, “If I need a break, I will take one!” in the background.

“Sounds about the same as usual,” you say and answer your question. “See you in a few.”

“Thank you. You’re the best honorary cop I’ve got.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Sergeant Grey.”

When you walk into the Mid-Wilshire Station, Tim and Wade are nowhere to be seen. You see Angela waiting nearby, and she rushes to hug you after you wave.

“Are you finally here to meet everyone? Since someone decided that he needed to talk to you alone to heal last time?” she asks playfully.

“I’m here because Tim is injured and stubborn,” you answer.

“And he’ll still be injured and stubborn after you meet the boots who can’t stop talking about you.”

“Is he okay?” you whisper.

“He’s fine. Barely injured, I promise.”

You nod and thank her before she leads you toward a small crowd of officers. Talia says hello, and the three in long sleeves stand up straighter when they see you.

“Mrs. Bradford, nice to see you again,” Lucy greets.

“You too, Officer Chen,” you reply.

“Lucy, please.”

“You’ve met Lucy and Nolan – however brief Tim kept it. And this is my rookie, Jackson West,” Angela introduces.

“Nice to meet you,” you offer with your handshake.

“So, you married Bradford?” he asks. “Why?”

You chuckle at the question but can’t answer your cliched answer of because I love him, and he’s really just a big softie under the sarcastic eye rolls and grumpy yelling before Nolan asks another question.

“At the hospital, you said less than five words to Tim, and he listened. No complaining, no hateful looks, just immediately obeyed. How do you do that?” Nolan inquires.

“Wait – how did you meet?” Jackson adds. “Let’s be chronological.”

Nolan nods in agreement, and you prepare to answer.

“Then I want to know your first thought of Tim. Before you met, just saw each other, whatever… what did you see that drew you in?” Lucy asks.

Angela and Bishop smile as your eyes bounce between the rookies and their never-ending questions. You can’t answer one before the next one is asked, and though you don’t feel the same, you can understand why Tim didn’t want you to meet them all at once.

“No!” Lucy exclaims. “Where did Tim propose?”

“The place where they met,” Talia answers.

Nolan turns quickly to yell, “You knew Tim was married! Why didn’t you mention her?”

“She’s not my wife,” Talia replies sarcastically. “Not my story to tell.”

“I would have talked about her because she’s my best friend,” Angela interjects. “But Tim threatened me.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Bradford,” Jackson says. “We’re just excited and shocked and have so many questions.”

“Mrs. Bradford?” a passing officer asks. “You’re too young to be Mom Bradford, and you’re not his sister…”

“I’m Tim’s wife,” you finish.

“This is Smitty,” Angela tells you.

She winks quickly, and you nod in understanding. You’ve heard plenty of stories about Smitty, and more than enough complaints when you’re alone with Tim. He seems unique, to put it lightly (and kinder than Tim does).

“You married Tim Bradford? Was he by any chance in possession of narcotics or mind-altering drugs when you met? Because it’s pretty easy to convince a woman to do something these days, just a little powder in an uncovered drink, you know,” Smitty continues.

“Smitty, have you drugged a woman before?” Nolan asks. His suspicion is evident in how he asks and the narrowing of his eyes.

“Well, Officer Smitty,” you begin. You nod at Angela, and her smile grows when she realizes you plan to play along.

Tim stands with a quiet grunt of pain. He stretches to the side to fight the growing stiffness and sees Lucy talking to a group of people. Smitty approaches the side, and Nolan steps back to reveal the focus of all of the attention. Tim doesn’t think twice and races out of Wade’s office to save you from the boots.

You address Smitty but don’t say anything more before Tim wraps his hand around your arm while the other grips your hip and pulls you backward. Tim moves you away from Angela and ignores the protests that follow your sudden departure. You don’t fight him as he leads you into Wade’s office. Wade looks up and mouths a relieved thank you.

“Tim, as much as I love meeting the people you pretend not to care about, would you please stop getting hurt and giving me an excuse to drop by unannounced?” you ask.

“I didn’t get hurt,” Tim argues.

His hands are still on you, so you turn in his hold to look at him. Several scrapes litter his left cheek, and you run a gentle finger under them. You can see that his shoulders are tense but you're grateful that his injuries seem to be limited to some stiffness and scrapes.

“What did Wade tell you?” Tim whispers.

“That you were being stubborn and not listening,” Wade mumbles behind you. “I’m surprised she believed me.”

Tim keeps his eyes on you but doesn’t comment further on his injuries or the rookies you just met. He looks down, and you follow his eyes to his hands. His left hand is wrapped tightly with gauze and bandages as he slides his right hand into his pocket.

“Had to take this off,” he tells you.

You extend your hand to accept his wedding ring and curl your fingers around it. After unhooking your necklace chain, you slide his ring on and keep it safe against your chest. Tim nods once it’s secure with you and pulls you to sit beside him. You lay a hand against his right cheek and smile as he leans against your hand. He leans in and kisses you quickly before glancing at Wade to ensure he isn’t watching.

“He’s seen us kiss before,” you remind Tim.

“And I will never let you forget it,” Wade agrees, focusing on the paperwork before him.

“No mind-altering drugs required,” Tim says with a small smile.

“Now I understand why you didn’t want me to meet Smitty.”

“I warned you.”

“Luckily, Angela introduced me to the rookies first, and I invited them over for dinner on Sunday. Wade, you and Luna are welcome to come, too, if you’d like,” you say.

Tim groans as Wade promises to pass the invitation on to Luna. You sit back carefully as Tim leans against you. He’s grumpy about your new connection with the boots but loves you. Tim meant it when he said he didn’t want to keep you hidden and risk wasting his life by separating from everything else that matters to him.

“Lucy won’t shut up,” he realizes with a dramatic sigh.

“Yeah, because I’m sure you carry half of the conversation as it is,” you tease. “Don’t forget how well I know you, Bradford.”

“As long as you don’t forget that I don’t like these people, Bradford,” Tim counters.

“You let Angela come over all the time. And don’t give me the whole ‘she scares me’ thing; you love her.”

Tim moves closer to you to whisper, “I love you more.”

“Then go get a full physical examination. Make sure all the handsomeness is still put together like it’s supposed to be.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Then maybe you don’t love me like you claim to. That’s why you leave your ring with me, right? Easier to bring women in when no one knows you’re married.”

Wade fails to hide a laugh before he covers it with a fake cough. Tim shakes his head but kisses you again before standing. You follow him to the door and thank Wade for the call. Tim waves everyone over, and Lucy beats the rest of them by a solid three seconds.

“Hi again,” she tells you.

“I’ll go see the medic if you rescind the dinner offer,” Tim tells you.

“You’ll go see the medic either way, so no,” you reply.

“We’ve decided a better way to ask questions, and we’ll give you time to breathe in the future,” Jackson says. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, Jackson. I understand the excitement; not the shock because, I mean, look at him," you wave toward Tim and continue, "but it’s not every day that you meet Officer Grumpy’s secret wife.”

“Did you just gesture to me like I’m a game show prize?” Tim murmurs.

“Tim and I will be happy to answer all your questions at dinner. It was very nice to meet all of you, and if Smitty asks again, I was absolutely drugged.”

Tim drags you away once again, and Angela only hears him ask, “Officer Grumpy?” before the door closes behind you both.

You turn and place a hand under Tim’s chin. One touch, a smile, and a kiss turn Tim back into your loving husband. He didn’t realize that keeping you separate from his work life gave you a unique power over him because he’s never had to hide his love for you or the physical affection he’s grown to crave.

“Be careful,” you request softly. “And call me if they find any other injuries.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tim answers.

“Don’t,” you warn.

“You kissed me first.”

“Thanks for letting me be part of your life, Tim.” He nods and kisses you slowly, but you push him away to warn him, “Ask Angela to tell you about Smitty before he says anything about our relationship.”

“You talked to Smitty, too? Maybe I should start leaving you at home again.”

“I love you,” you call over your shoulder.

“I love you,” Tim replies.

He walks back into the station with two things on his mind: learning what Smitty thinks about you and Tim that was worth a warning and getting home to you. Your touch, kiss, and the soft return of his ring will always be the best part of Tim’s day, and even though he wears his ring more often now, you still pull him in because he needs you more than he’s ever needed the ring.

#hanna writes✯#tim bradford x reader #tim bradford x fem!reader #tim bradford x y/n #tim bradford x you #tim bradford fic #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford #the rookie abc #fem!reader

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theloneotaku158 · 1 day

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As of Batman: The Brave and the Bold #12, local precious-gremlin-who-I-would-die-for, Maps Mizoguchi, is now officially(?) the sixth Robin. Or at the very least, she's now "in" on The Secret™.

If this isn’t a set up for her taking up the Robin mantle officially then I genuinely don’t know what is.

As one of the twelve Gotham Academy enjoyers in existence, I am having the extremely normal reaction of "FUCKING FINALLY! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO--!"

In all honesty, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't seen this coming from miles away. Like, Maps has appeared in a number of seemingly random cameo roles recently, including Batgirls (2021), and even technically as Robin in the backup issues of Batman (2016) #119-121, and in a short story in Batman Black & White. And most of those got collected in a standalone titled "Maps of Mystery", which specifically gathered all her appearances as Robin (and the Gotham Academy Belle Reve story).

And then, of course, her recent time-travelling Future-Trunks-esque appearance in Birds of Prey (2023), as the tech-based Meridian, from a potential future timeline where she apparently makes it as a superhero using gadgets she apparently designed, proving that she's hero material.

That's not something you do for a character for no reason. That's the sort of thing you do when you want to keep a character in the conscience of your readers for whatever reason, because you have bigger plans for them.

Also interesting to consider that, in the "Mother's Day" story where this took place, Alfred is standing right there and not lying down six feet under wood, dirt and a stone slab, and that Bruce is in the old Batcave under the manor so he still has Money™, I must assume this was some nebulous time in the past (after GA: Second Semester(?), but before City of Bane)... which I won't bother to analyse the exact timeframe of because DC doesn't care about the post-Flashpoint / New 52 / Rebirth / Prime Earth / idfk / Dawn of DC timeline, so neither should I.

But I think it's really funny that this presumably means Maps has known The Secret™ for a long time relative to present-day comics, but always acted like she didn't.

But if all her appearances are in chronological order, that means Bruce is only the fourth Bat whose identity she discovered.

Like, she discovered Cass' identity almost by accident on a trip to the zoo, Damian showed off his grapple gun and gave her an actual Batarang during the three hours he was enrolled in the school (as if she wouldn't immediately put two-and-two together even back then), and she even found out Terry fucking McGuinness would become Batman in a future via a time-travelling grandfather clock.

No I did not make that last part up. Read Gotham Academy istg.

Did Cass know that Maps had been acting as a Robin when she met her, both at the zoo in Batgirls and her future version in Birds of Prey?

Does Damian know the one (1) friend(?) he made in Gotham Academy is potentially in the running for his job?

Is Bruce himself aware that she knows as much about their identities as she currently does?

How is DC going to retcon this so it all makes sense in the barely-functioning canon of the modern DC universe?

I'm digressing. Where was I going with this?

Point is, she's destined to become a Robin, and I'm glad DC finally pulled their fingers out their asses and capitalised on that destiny.

Let's just hope it doesn't take another year for them to follow up on this plotline again.

Bonus: Jason Todd, after learning of Bruce taking yet another happy kid under his wing as yet another Robin, giving her some advice:

#dc #batman #maps mizoguchi #mia mizoguchi #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #batgirl #batfam #damian wayne #robin #jason todd #red hood #gotham academy #dc istg dont drop the ball on this i will NEVER forgive you #and PLEASE do not traumatise this robin #Bruce promised he wouldn't let anything happen to her #otherwise I will personally Blue Skidoo into the comic itself and kick both Bruce and the traumatiser in the groin

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tsukimefuku · 3 days

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fixing broken things ❖ nanami kento

summary: after you realize that everything you were taking care of just wound up crooked anyway, you're pissed and needs a helping hand in order to not let the anger get the better of you.

tags: jujutsu kaisen, sorcerer and kind of gardener f!reader, gardening, light nanami x reader, implied past higuruma x reader, nanami is very kind in his own way, hurt and comfort, some angst, some fluff.

wc: 1K

notes etc.: if you feel like reading a prequel to this, here's crooked gardening. i just randomly had the idea for this one and decided to jot it down. it's barely proofread. wrote it to the sound of we're all eating each other/the thing of life (juliet ivy)

❖ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events

You were pissed. There was no sugar-coating it.

Many of the sprouts on the flower bed you planted a while ago had their skewers pulled out or broken — apparently by accident, or from people stepping on them without meaning to — and that would take a huge time to fix.

You remembered the talk you had with Higuruma — you were back to calling him by his last name, at least for these past few days right after his departure — where you told him you were good at fixing crooked things.

What a joke.

If you really were, would he have left?

Mindlessly, you conjured one of your grenades, and considered for a moment exploding the entire flowerbed out of pure spite and anger. The unexplainable urge of destroying something, and repay the unending pain the world seemed hellbent in dropping over your shoulders.

Just another pointless heartache to carry around, as if you didn't have enough of those already.

You got your hand closer to the flowerbed, but before dropping the tiny grenade, you realized there was an invisible veil you simply couldn't rupture.

There was no crossing it, your body was preventing you from going beyond that imaginary line and blowing up a bunch of flowers you planted and nurtured yourself with such care, even if it were to plant new ones in their place.

There was no escaping the roots that had already taken hold.

"Good afternoon," you heard an already familiar voice say behind you. "Why are you holding one of your grenades?"

Sighing, you dissipated it, patting your hands on your pants to clean them from the dirt.

"I… I don't know, Nanami," you replied bitterly as you stood up.

He knew Higuruma left a few days ago, having talked to the sorcerer himself, and noticed you were obviously still processing his departure. Respectful as he was, Nanami avoided contacting you to offer assistance — he knew that, in case you did want it, you'd talk to him first. You were the type of person who usually needed some space and alone time to process things.

But at that moment, Nanami became slightly concerned, seeing you using your cursed technique at the HQ premises, given it had quite the destructive potential.

You turned on your heels and stomped your feet towards the nearest bench, sitting on it with a sour face. Your arms were crossed, and your anger kept building up with no relief. If only you could find it in yourself to blow up, at least this fucking once.

Lost in thought, you didn't realize that Nanami sat by your side.

He looked at his wristwatch and sighed before speaking.

"I have exactly 17 minutes before leaving for my next mission."

And then, there he stood, impassively waiting for you to speak up about what was going on.

"I wanted to blow up that flower bed."

He looked at you, and inquired, with no judgement in his voice, "why?"

"Because… Because some flowers are crooked, and I planted them, and I'm fucking supposed to be good at fixing crooked things, but fuck me, I guess I'm just… I don't know, Nanami. I don't fucking know," you blurted out, equal parts bitter and defeated. "I wanted to just destroy them and plant something else in their place."

"I see."

"Well, apparently, I'm not even good at doing that, because I couldn't do it. I just… couldn't."

"Why do you think that is?" He asked you, pushing his glasses into position.

"I have no idea," you spat, "do you have any? I could do with some enlightenment, or lecture, or whatever the hell you could throw at me right now. I'm tired of people leav…" you thought for a moment. "No, I guess that's it. I'm tired of people."

He huffed.

"People can be tiring."

"Yeah…" you were feeling a little less out of sorts, and the sadness began taking hold of the anger's place. "So, why couldn't I destroy anything?"

"You couldn't do it because you're not someone who breaks things."

You were a little puzzled, and said, "Nanami, my technique is literally casting grenades to blow things up. I'm pretty good at that — breaking and destroying things, I mean."

Nanami sighed and removed his glasses, turning his face to look at you.

"Not only that. You're also capable of applying reverse cursed technique on other people, so you carry both within you. The potential for breaking and for fixing."

You huffed, and looked at your feet as you asked, imitating his usual voice cadence, "is that so?"

"It is. But not only that. Your rage rarely pulls you down. It pushes you forward."

"What do you mean?"

You looked back at him at that moment.

"When your parents left, or when you lost people close to you, and when you were at that village. These were the many instances where you could have simply given up, but you chose to preserve your family legacy, to become a healer and to save a child. For a sorcerer that deals with negativity and death on a daily basis, you choose to bring out the best from the worst instead."

You were silent, taking in what Nanami was saying, and he proceeded.

"As it stands to reason, you wouldn’t use your pain or anger to destroy anything. You’d use it as fuel."

"For what?"

"Keep fixing broken things."

You huffed, an almost chuckle.

"Thanks for the compliments, I guess."

"Those weren't compliments, I simply stated facts," he answered, putting his glasses back on.

You acquiesced.

"Yeah, forgot you did that."

You got up on your feet and stood there for a moment, before turning towards him and saying, "thank you, Nanami."

He bowed his head, and got up himself.

"See you around?"

"See you around," he replied, sparing you a discreet smile before walking away.

You stepped towards the flower bed and looked at it, fully aware that just bursting everything away and starting from scratch would be easier. However, you sat on the ground and started pulling the broken skewers off, determined to put new ones in place, realizing this would take a lot of effort and time.

Grunting, you began mumbling to yourself, displeased and somewhat happily defeated for the first time in days.

Fucking Nanami, always fucking right about fucking things.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami #nanami x reader #kento nanami #nanami kento fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu fluff #nanami x you #nanami kento x you #kento x reader #jujutsu partners au #fuku writes

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bepoucorp · 3 months

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HEYHEYY !! QUESTION - FOR NEW BATMAN FANS, DO YOU RECOMMEND INDULGING IN MOVIE, SERIES, OR GAME CONTENT FIRST ?? ^_^

Honestly I reccomend you to watch/play/read whatever content interests you!

For me the Lego Batman started the hyperfixation fire, 1966 TV show and the Arkham games fueled it even more!

#imo batman content is really hard to dive into #(there so much media to intake at first)#just indulge in what seems cool!#i never care about doing things chronologically LOL #anyways #ty for askin!#bepou talks #batjokes #batman #the joker #doodle #bepoucorp #bepouverse #this is an old doodle oughh #its still so cute #sorry if this id no help btw #im not the best to ask LOL

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blinkpen · 6 months

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"writing process memes of "mmm this is the REAL goiod part" but idk is this one too niche.

#doodles #rebus #the yonkoma universe will always exist to the side though u know it #it is fun to be your own goofy fandom for your own thing #also: ooogh i am so invested in fully fleshing out lamarr and demersa's prequel style backstory i uuuh oop #dropped it and smoothing things out made the story as a whole morph into a weird fantasy epic when i wasnt looking #so rather than plonking what would be a pacing breaking boulder of a Too Long flashback in the middle of the main story #we might uuuh be going in more or less chronological order starting with lam n dem's childhood then like a 10 year timeskip #and i actually revised my big ole story-map out found like the Perfect way #to parcel these things out with good pacing n still have wiggle room for the eldritch monster of the week format we can eat #-without- it fucking up the overarching narrative or bringing it to a frustrating fucking crawl for bs we have no reason to care about #...if i do everything right anyway like if i pull off what i am trying to pull off i will do my best to not fuck That aspect up #that's what the paid editors will be for i suppose!

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cashandandrogyny · 5 months

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i hate when people hate on my daughter (we didn't start the fire by fob)

#milos musings #fob #fall out boy #YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HER LIKE I DO #they are a silly band and so wrote some silly lyrics #the biggest issue people have with it is that its not in chronological order #like stfu no one cares

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sapienthouse · 8 months

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as someone currently watching tng for the first time (only in season 4), it is a little odd when i see fans say that "no one ever recognizes data having emotions." like data denies it, but so often the moments when he's explicitly denying them are when he's talking with a character who's like. "yeah the thing ur experiencing is normal humans often (mourn/doubt themselves/whatever)" and WHEN data denies it they just kindof. give him a look tht to ME reads like his emotions are just an open secret for everyone else and theyre not gonna fight him on it. theyre not generally acknowledged, but like, i dont think ive seen a bridge member outright deny it except for deanna before the beard bit (tho idr her exact wording), and tht was early on.

#plus in tht same conversation geordi literally poses the idea tht data might be experiencing self-consciousness #like cmon now. these characters arent All denying his capacity for emotions #LIKE! doesnt even pulaski say hes acting insecure or w/e after he loses tht game of strategy she set him up to do?? pulaski who struggles #to be PC about his very personhood? cmon now...... come ON #tng #data soong #also i am watching the show chronologically and i did start at season 1 ive found thts not wht most ppl recommend but i prefer it and will #be continuing 👍 i never care abt spoilers tho so if there are any episodes relevant to this feel free to talk abt them in detail #it speaks!

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samarecharm · 1 year

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Hey im on mobile and this is the funniest shit ever

#my phone takes its time to do updates so i guess ill know when i see them #so glad theyre fucking around w shit i dont care about and mobile is still a trashheap ☺️#please give me chronological results for tags on blogs back #give it back.

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whysamwhy123 · 26 days

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Attention all the talented writers who follow me for some reason - I'm starting to get the itch to attempt a big multi-chapter fic, which I haven't done in a loooooooong time, and I've pretty much completely forgotten how to do this. So, if y'all could help me out and let me know how you go about outlining these sorts of things, that'd be great.

#All I have right now is a myriad of ideas for random scenes with no real timeline or chronology #Do I need to wrangle 'em into a chapter-by-chapter outline? Or just do a timeline or something?#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write #Honestly I probably shouldn't even attempt this #Because I am Not That Good and this AU is something that literally about two other people care about and that's it #Also I'd have to write actual smut and that's never been my forte in the slightest #But I have IDEAS! SO MANY IDEAS!#And they are all TRASH!!

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myskyperevenge · 1 year

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kefir overfermented today. but that's fine, it's still delicious

#psychonauts #razputin aquato #amatur e photography #amature photography #sunrise #the band shirts he's wearing ARE chronologically consistent by the way. if you care #or if you dont.#because i do #have given much thought to his music taste as he grows up. good era to be a teenager in #for music anyway

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hazeism · 9 months

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"Haze, where have you been?"

1. my pen broke 2. actually i have no excuses. umn. hi

#prelude to foundation #forward the foundation #demerzel laughing makes my heart hurt #r. daneel olivaw #eto demerzel #should I tag this for spoilers??#i think a lot about gladia's robot clothes being vaguely butler-esque #like. do you think she'd dress Daneel like that. after it all. because Fastolfe just had him made up like an Auroran. but I think she would #sorry this post is supposed to be about demerzel I LOVE YOU DEMERZEL!!!!#the way i call this in my brain is um #asimov chronology #so that is my catch-all tag but I'm unsure if anyone else uses it #queue #visual #doodle #idk why I'm getting embarrassed about talking too much this is the talking too much about stupid shit no one cares about website haze #robots and empire #yes I forgot that one. ah.

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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months

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Question. If I were to theoretically make a guide post(s) about all of rbr's race suits from since 2005, would it be better to split them up into different posts or one giant post?

#its like nearly 20 seasons worth #so ig i wonder if one single post is too much #i would do it in ordee of which i like best but i like it being chronological better 😭😭#i rly care abt things being in proper order...#like yeah a lot of it is my opinion but its like the seb hair post. its a guide :)#so which would you guys prefer? like which would draw you in better?#also wondering if i should include the car livery too 🤔#THIS IS ALL THEORETICAL OKAY(dhkfkglg i just dont like spoiling my posts okay 😭 i want stuff to be a surprise)#catie.rambling.txt

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natasha-in-space · 10 months

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The Beginning of the End

Chapter 1 of A Wilted Daffodil.

Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee;

Grief is felt differently by everyone. It can be debilitating and overwhelming, to the point where you have no idea how you're supposed to keep on living without the one you lost. Chaewon is no stranger to grieving families and loved ones. Unfortunately, working as a nurse comes with responsibility of bearing witness to some very tragic events. But, she never thought she'd have to see her own dear friend crushed by a sudden loss nobody has ever seen coming.

TW for: pet loss, grieving.

A Wilted Daffodil: Ch. 1 (you are here!), Ch. 2

Can be read over on AO3

"She got run over, Chaewon, she's dead, and it's all my fault. I knew it. I knew I should've listened to Jumin! Why did I ever think that I knew better what she truly needed? She must've suffered so much... I couldn't do anything, I couldn't save her-!"

A horrible chill ran down Chaewon's spine as she held the phone up to her ear. Rika's voice sounded so utterly broken and anguished that she could feel her breath getting caught in her throat, a heavy lump of dread obstructing her airways and stealing her voice away from her. She felt her entire body freezing up completely as all that she could do in the moment was just stand there, not knowing what to do or what to say. Sally meant everything to Rika. She was so much more than just a beloved dog, and Chaewon didn't need to know her friend for long to understand that. Sally was Rika's loyal companion, her first source of comfort when she needed it most, someone who was by her side long before Chaewon, RFA, or even Jihyun first found their way into her life. To lose someone like that... in such a horrendous and abrupt way nonetheless... Oh, God, she was starting to get really scared for her dear friend now. Who knew what she would do in such a vulnerable state of mind?

She curled her free hand into a tight fist, her fingernails digging into the skin of her palm, until she had to hold herself back from wincing. At the very least, this helped her keep her head above water and not freeze up completely. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she pushed through the paralyzing unease and spoke up, sounding uncharacteristically stuttery and high-pitched for her usual tone of voice. She would feel embarrassed about it, if not for the horrible situation at hand.

"Rika, listen, just- stay on the phone with me, alright? You're at home currently, correct? I'm coming right over. Just- Hold on for me, okay? I- I'll be right there. It'll be okay. I promise" She muttered hurriedly as she sprinted off from the supply closet she tucked herself into to take this call as fast as her legs could carry her, her heart pounding in her chest with so much force, she was afraid it might just stop beating all together. And, she couldn't allow that. Not right now. Her own words sounded so incredibly stupid. Of course it won't be okay. It won't ever be okay. But, she didn't know what else to say. She needed time to think, and she didn't have that luxury right now. So, she ran.

Everything else was lost in the haze of panic, confusion and frustration. It was probably incredibly reckless and irresponsible of her to just abandon her post at the hospital like this, especially right at the beginning of her night shift, but she barely gave a single damn about any of that right now, however selfish it was on her part. Nothing was more important than getting to Rika's side as fast as humanely possible. Before something bad could happen. Before she would get even more hurt than she already was, in one way or another. Chaewon was always a selfish person, deep down, after all. She accepted that. But Rika... Rika gave so much of herself away to help others, to make others smile, to give them hope for a better future.

Rika was nothing like Chaewon, and that's exactly why she didn't deserve to suffer such a loss alone.

Frankly, it was a miracle she didn't get run over on her way there. Her driving was horribly jerky and borderline dangerous. She won't be at all surprised to find a notification about a fine or two for exceeding the speed limit once this all blows over. Even if she knew, deep down, that it won't. And that was scary to think about. She told herself that she was just panicking, and that's why this harrowing feeling was scratching at her insides like a caged wild animal. The feeling of something going horribly wrong. The feeling of things falling apart and never being the same again.

She ignored it.

Somehow, thanks to pure luck, she made it to Jihyun's secluded place safely and with her car intact. She didn't have time to feel relieved, though. None of it truly mattered once she saw Rika's small trembling frame sitting all alone at the front porch, her head tucked tightly into her knees, almost like she was trying to curl herself up into the tiniest human ball imaginable. It looked painful. Chaewon was sure her back must have hurt from staying in such an unnatural position - how long had she even stayed like that? It broke her heart to see Rika like this. Usually, she'd get greeted by cheerful barking and her friend's soft giggling as she stepped through the front gate to usher her inside for a cup of pomegranate tea. Now, she heard nothing but the heartbreaking sounds of hoarse sobs and labored breathing. It all felt like one big horrible nightmare she would wake up from any minute now. She wished she would wake up. Oh, how she wished for this to he nothing but a cruel trick of the mind.

However, this was reality. And she had no choice but to face it head on.

She rushed to Rika's side, clumsily slumping onto her knees in front of her onto the pavement, her hands stopping just inches from touching her. It didn't matter that her pants were now sullied from damp ground from the rain. It didn't matter that she accidentally grazed her hand against the edge of the wooden door that hung right open - another thing that was horribly out of place. It was as if the entire world has faded from existence, leaving only her suffering friend and the deafening sound of her blood pumping in her head, making it very hard to focus. She was honestly starting to suspect that she was on the verge of a panic attack herself, and she wanted to curse at that realization. Of all the times for her to lose her cool, her mind just had to pick this one.

But... She was scared.

She was always terrible at comforting people. She could treat a nasty-looking physical wound and not bat an eye at the blood and gore, fight off a bully just fine or come to someone's defense with a strong word or two without a second thought, but... such fragile and emotionally driven ordeals? They were always Rika's forte. Or Jihyun's, as much as she hated to admit that. Yet another reason why that man would always be better than her in one way or another. But, this was not the time for her pity party. Rika she needed her right now. And any comfort would still be better than no comfort at all. At least, she hoped so. She didn't rush here for nothing.

Don't overthink it, just do it.

"...Rika? We should-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence.

"She's gone forever now, Chaewon, and it's all my fault! I'm never going to see her again. I didn't even... I didn't even get to give her any proper goodbye! She must have died in so much pain, so scared, feeling so hurt and alone... I can't... I can't handle this. Not without her. Oh, Sally... My Sally..." Rika sobbed, choking on every single painful word crawling up from her raw throat, almost like it was her own words tearing at her trachea, and not the globus sensation that appears during emotionally vexing situations. Some part of Chaewon felt gross that she was applying her medical knowledge even in such in an emotional situation. She felt like it was wrong of her. Still, Rika's breathing was growing more and more ragged with every passing second, and she needed to try and fix that. Or, at least mitigate. She knew this was bad. This was very bad. She never saw Rika like this before. So vulnerable, so... so hurt.

She swallowed shakily, trying to make her voice sound softer. This won't do. She needed to ask. "Does V-"

Once again, she was interrupted. She was starting to think that she won't get anywhere at this rate.

"I thought she would be fine on her own. I thought I was doing the right thing! I swear I- I took my eyes off of her for just a moment... I never imagined- Oh, God, I couldn't do anything! Not a single thing!"

"Rika, please, you need to listen to-"

"I wish- I wish it was me who got hit by that car instead! She was so much more deserving of a chance to live! She was good! Not me! I killed her! I- I hate myself! I hate myself for letting her die-!"

"Rika! Stop it!"

On pure impulse, she darted close and gripped Rika's shoulders tight, as her heart dropped all the way into her stomach at such horrible words. She was panicking. Her hands were trembling. Her hands never trembled like this before. What is she supposed to do? What is she supposed to say? Her voice was breaking, every word slipping off her tongue before she could even process them. She couldn't think straight. This was bad. She never acted rationally when she got like this. She would just make everything worse. "Don't you ever say such things! This is not your fault! These sorts of things happen all the time! Please, you had no play in any of this!"

"How can you even say that!? You weren't there!" Rika shouted back, but it sounded more like a broken wail than an angered scream. It still made Chaewon's heart ache all the same. "You don't know how much she suffered, you don't know what pain she was in! If I had just given her that surgery, none of this would have happened!"

Chaewon tried to calm her racing mind by running a hand through her messy black locks that have gotten damp now from the light rain trickling down on them from above. This wasn't good, she was handling this terribly, as expected. She needed to get herself together, think of something, anything. Screaming and arguing won't get her anywhere. This isn't some debate.

"...Sally wouldn't have wanted to see you blaming yourself like this." She murmured in a more hushed tone, letting out a soft sigh to try and calm her nerves before continuing. "She was loved by you. More than I've ever seen anyone love their pet. And you were loved by her, too. You are still loved by her."

Rika whimpered at that, a tiny little sound that almost made Chaewon start crying herself. Her friend looked like a small helpless child: scared, lost, and confused about losing something she never thought she'd lose. It was heartwrenching to see.

"I don't deserve her love... It all feels so empty. Like a part of me was ripped away, and it hurts. It hurts so much, Chaewon. I thought I was used to the pain, but... but it's too much."

There was a part of her that desired to have a separate conversation with Rika about that. Some part of her that had always known there was so much more to the lighthearted beautiful woman she fell head over heels for a year ago. Some part of her that felt concerned about all the tiny signs she pretended not to notice since Rika never brought them up. Some part of her that longed to be the one to ease Rika's wounded heart. But... Wouldn't that be selfish of her? She just wanted to feel wanted by someone who only ever viewed her as a close friend. It wasn't right of her to be greedy. Especially right now. Rika had Jihyun. She was happy with Jihyun. She was supposed to be happy with Jihyun.

Otherwise... what point was there in her just standing by all this time?

Without even thinking, her fingers gently brushed up against the side of Rika's face, finding her skin to be damp and cold. Like the misery she was suffering from on the inside was slowly twisting and transforming what was on the outside to match its cruel image. It hurt her heart to see.

"Please don't say that..." What else could she possibly say? She couldn't bring Sally back. She couldn't ask her not to cry. She couldn't make it all okay. She felt so frustratingly helpless. If only she could take away even the smallest portion of this pain Rika was feeling and experience it instead, she would've done so without a second thought.

"I hate this... Why did she have to suffer? Why couldn't she just live a peaceful and happy life...? What did she ever do to deserve such a horrible death? Why does God always hurt those that are innocent in such cruel ways!?"

Chaewon was unsure of what to say to that. It didn't even seem like Rika was listening to her at this point. She just breathed out shakily, pulling herself up to sit beside her and carefully rest her chin atop of Rika's head once she knew she wouldn't push her away. If only her embrace could protect her from all the pain in this world.

"She's not in pain anymore... I promise." That was all she could muster up, however clumsy it was. She gently pulled Rika's small trembling frame close in a somewhat awkward embrace. She didn't force her to let go of her knees or lift her head. She just wanted to make her feel that she wasn't alone right now. A small sigh escaped her as she could feel a damp spot slowly forming in her shirt where Rika buried her face in, her entire body wracking with painful sobs. She wished their first embrace wasn't under such heartbreaking circumstances.

"...It wasn't your fault." She whispered.

Perhaps it would be better to just be honest instead of trying to wing it. She carefully caressed Rika's head, finding her usually soft and beautiful golden locks to be tangled and rough to the touch. It made her purse her lips tightly in displeasure.

"Rika... I want to help you. In any way I can. Please... tell me what should I do. I... I don't know. I need you to tell me."

"J-Just stay. Please." Rika's voice was barely audible, but she managed to make out what she was saying nonetheless. She could feel her fingers digging into her shoulders, almost to the point where it became painful. She didn't care. "I'm scared..."

"Don't be. I'm here. I'm right here." She mumbled, pulling her friend close, and just letting her cry. Maybe, there wasn't any need for words right now. She didn't know. She just knew that she wouldn't leave her alone in such a state. "I'll be here for as long as you need me to be."

About an hour had passed before Chaewon could hear the sound of a car screeching to a stop near the entrance to the front of the house, with hurried footsteps following soon after. She wasn't at all surprised to see the tall man with messy mint locks once she lifted her head up from where it loyally remained atop of Rika's for the past hour. A silent moment of sorrow passed between the two, nothing but the sound of Jihyun's ragged breaths and the quiet pitter-patter if rain filling the air.

Looks like she's not the only one who dropped everything to come as soon as possible.

"Is she...?"

"I think she fell asleep." She replied quietly, not even needing to hear the whole question. Rika was probably exhausted, both physically and mentally from the immense stress she had to go through in the past few hours. No wonder she eventually just drifted off to sleep. Perhaps, it was better for her to just not think about anything for a while and sleep.

Jihyun sighed, his hands shaking as he fumbled with the corners of his jacket. In some ironic sense, Chaewon found it comforting to know that she wasn't the only one overwhelmed by this situation. Finally, he spoke up again, carefully sitting down on the same porch she and Rika were nestled upon, his hand carefully brushing a strand of his fiance's hair behind her ear. There was genuine heartache in his eyes, and she had to look away from the scene dejectedly. "I came as soon as I heard. I... Is she okay?"

Chaewon had a feeling that his question had more to it than just expressing concern about his lover's well-being. She tried to brush that bizarre thought away, but it remained there, in the back of her mind, like a parasite slowly digging its claws into her mind.

He seemed to be asking if Rika has done anything. To herself or someone else, she had no idea. But, it alarmed her nonetheless.

She shook her head slightly to avoid disturbing her unconscious friend. "I think so. Aside from... possible raw throat, tense back and possible headache, she should be fine. Physically."

She would have noticed any wounds right away, she was sure of it.

Jihyun breathed a sigh of relief, but without any joy accompanying it. She couldn't blame him for it. "Thank you, Chaewon... I am... ever so grateful she had you by her side when I couldn't be there."

The small grateful smile he gave her made her want to scream. He was being genuine, and that was the most unfair part of it all. Jihyun was a good and caring man. Although, she had more in common with his friend Jumin, rather than the photographer himself. She couldn't possibly hate him even if she tried. And, having these ugly feelings of jealousy and envy gnawing at her from the inside made her feel disgusted with herself. Jihyun considered her a friend, and here she is, getting all worked up over him rightfully caring and worrying over his partner.

Damn it, she's selfish.

In a mix of frustration and hurt, Chaewon bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the light taste of copper on her tongue. Right. She was just a friend. To Jihyun and Rika all the same. A close friend. Nothing more. Jihyun was the one Rika truly relied on. He knew sides of her she was never allowed to see.

The worst part of it all? She was aware that Jihyun was a better match for Rika. He was kind, gentle, artistic, loving. He was everything that Rika valued in a person. Meanwhile, Chaewon was blunt, forceful, and practical. She couldn't ever compete with this man for her heart. Did she even want to do that? It's not like she tried. She just stood back, without doing or saying a thing.

This seemed to be a pattern in her life.

Agh, just look at yourself. Your friend just lost her beloved companion, and you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself over some stupid crush. Get a grip. Chaewon quickly chastised herself as she tried to redirect her attention back to what was truly important right now, rather than her pitiful lovesickness.

"We should... probably carry her in. You should have her take a warm bath once she wakes up. Or give her a warm beverage. She might get sick after staying out in the rain like this." She mumbled quietly while untangling a few of Rika's golden locks to keep her mind on something else. She certainly did not want to picture Jihyun taking care of Rika like that. But... She wasn't one to be petty. At least not outwardly. She could be petty, angry and upset all she wanted once she gets home, where her selfish outbursts won't harm anyone.

Jihyun nodded as he carefully stood up from his spot. "Yes, you're right. I'll keep in contact with you. She might need her friend once she wakes up."

"...Right."

Her friend. She sure hoped that didn't sound too bitter. She didn't want to come off as an asshole. Chaewon made sure to help Jihyun carry Rika back into the house, offering a few more tips out of what little she knew. Of course, those were all health-related. Not much she could advise in when it came to emotions.

That night, after a miserable few hours of drinking her stress away, she slumped onto her bed with a bad feeling that kept her up until early morning. A horrible, nasty, chilling feeling. The same one that she felt back in her car. It never left. It just faded onto the bacround. But, it was there. Demanding to be listened to. The feeling of things would never being the same again. The feeling of something horrible awaiting just around the corner. Something that would change everything forever.

A point of no return. The beginning of the end.

And, just like she did before, she ignored it. She always did.

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #rika kim #kim rika #rika x cmc #rika x oc #oc chaewon lee #rika x chaewon #tw grieving #tw pet loss #gonna start posting my cmc stories in a more or less chronological order #aside from aus of course #chaewon and rika specifically bc their relationship is very complicated and i am excited to share its many sides #they unfortunately do not get a very happy ending bc i love to keep things realistic #but that doesn't mean they do not care for each other #also this helps get myself writing again jftjftht #i feel like sally's death is one of the most important parts in rika's downfall #after the twins' mother death and mika's manipulation #she blamed herself so much for sally's unfortunate passing #she didn't save her #she COULDN'T save her #because she didn't have control #please let me know if i should add any more warnings!#i swear more cute stuff coming soon #especially with the new wedding cg

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