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#these past 4 years have been a wonderful ride
arventixx · 1 month
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Thank you, Houseki no Kuni.
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0rionz-belt · 1 year
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its hard to think that there was at least a week of my life where I balanced marching band, my rock band program, writing, drawing, and theater on top of high school. I talked to people, both friends and unfamiliar with no issue. And i never thought anything of it.
5 years later and I can barely function doing even 3 of those things. i miss being an artist.
#vent#on the other hand i really shouldnt idolize that version of myself#after all. That kid's insecurity is what caused this.#she was so scared her crush was going to leave her and what did she do? She freaked out and made the process go faster.#i cant even begin to wonder how long it would have taken if that never happened. maybe it wouldnt have been so tragic.#she didnt know her crush liked her too.#by all means i should be considering her a different person.#she was an ENFP girl from Seattle. adopted bc her parents didnt have the money. took a miracle pill with apparently different uses.#im Orion. an INFP enby who was meant to be born in Indiana. adopted for my and my mom's safety. I take Vyvanse for adhd and that alone.#She was an artist who tried every new thing she came across but was scared of carnival rides and coasters.#I am a pathetic shell of a person whos just getting back into the flow of doing art stuff again after 4 years.#and i am...significantly less afraid of carnival rides and rollercoasters.#its funny. the parts about where im from and why im adopted and what my medication is for.#those are not things about my personality. except for the medication part tbh.#but they are important to who i am. i had to dig that shit out of my parents. finding it out over the past 3 years.#i dont know. is it really such a crime to want to be who i once was and keep traits of who i currently am?#also no just because i misgender myself here doesnt mean you get to as well.#but yeah. thats why i call myself an it.
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capslocked · 7 months
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KINKVEMBER DAY: 4
[prompt: roleplay] male reader x kang hyewon 8k words
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“I need you,” Hyewon says in the uneasy dark of a hotel room, with two urgent fistfuls of your shirt, “need you to do to me all the things my husband never will.” “Yeah, I know,” you tell her, “you said that,” and her eyebrows move in all the wrong directions, “I’m just wondering if, you know, maybe we should give him a little more credit.”
-
Here’s the truth:
Hyewon doesn’t believe in leaving evidence behind and you don't find it particularly productive to doubt her; you’ve been talking in code for years. Parts and pieces of yourselves reduced down and bottled into set phrases that, to anyone else, would be totally incomprehensible.
"i've been thinking," she texts you, which you've come to understand means she's already made up her mind, "maybe we should do that thing we were talking about. tonight."
(You're not always so fast on the uptake.)
You send two back two texts, both of which ask "which thing?" because the hallway from the breakroom to your desk has poor reception and it never lets you send just one.
Then, right after you cross the threshold between signal-drowning-concrete and the glitzy glass-walled arboretum they've built to make you feel like you're not a total cog in their corporate machine, your phone pings the receipt of Hyewon's reply: a picture - her laptop, propped up on your coffee table with its screen angled for perusal, of a booking site that's filtered to show results for their 'king bed & view' room at a midrange hotel a forty-five-minute ride from your apartment.
"not really doing much narrowing down here hyewon."
She replies to you - her text bubble appearing over another couple still images, of herself in the vanity mirror as she curls her hair around her finger and holds this little black slip of a dress over her shoulder, black lacy lingerie in tow, the whole nine - with:
"i'm feeling kinda adventurous."
-
Five o’clock rolls around but you never really do figure it out. You spend the last three hours at work deciding which kink of hers (oh, does she have a few) this is all in service to.
There's nothing overtly sexual about her pics in the first place - not more than usual anyway, more showing off her curves and cut jaw than showcasing anything for her 'adventurous' intent. So that can't be the tell - you'd seen her in a corset once (you can't unsee it) and the angle of her hips to the mirror makes you think that if she was planning on pulling on a  pair of crotchless panties then she probably would've found her thigh high stockings, too.
You try and think of what the two of you had even talked about when discussing these little scenes - how many times you'd ended up 'in the mood' during or after such a meeting of the minds, how it'd snowballed from there, a whole list of filthy what-ifs that she'd probably put more thought into than you ever have - but you draw a total blank. It could be any of a number of things.
Until,
"i left you instructions on the kitchen island," reads a text on your phone which you definitely don’t check while you’re driving -
And then it hits you.
"ah."
"yeah, 'ah'," she replies.
-
A quarter past seven at the hotel bar is way too early for any real promiscuous activity, but then again, you're here playing at pretend and half the fun of games like this is in the setup.
Meet me at the bar, your instructions read, introduce yourself, and play it by ear.
There's some couples at the other end, some friends downing shots by the round, people musing over their aperitifs, and a woman sipping alone at the bar - Hyewon, appearing to you from the back first:
The pointed edges of her shoulders narrow out over this tiny cocktail dress that somehow covers less of her than if it weren't there at all, skin tight, accentuating even her softest curves. She has her hair fixed a particular way - teased enough to flip at the ends but still a single sweep down her shoulders, pulled together softly by a ribbon in the back, tied like a fantasy, allowing a wispy strand to fall to her face - glossy and dark and glowing to this rich, deep mahogany where it's cast in the lamplight.
The line of her throat, of her chest. Where her hips meet her waist in a rounding flare. The effort and beauty she's gone to, for you - that she puts in every day just because she knows it gets your attention, can do more than turn a head or two; Hyewon's appearance is almost indifferent of you, only coincidental, but she puts on a damn good act.
(You look a lot more worn in comparison: jacket thrown over dress shirt and khakis, tie loose at the neck. Standard office attire with just a step-outside-regulation. Disheveled.)
A drink, you suppose - approaching the bar to try and catch the bartender's attention to order a single malt.
But if Hyewon's been waiting long, she doesn't complain when you pull into the stool beside her and sit for a long moment.
"Do you mind if I join you?" you say over a pair of politely folded hands - and that's generally where her 'instructions' end.
The look she fixes you with is just this unashamed smoldering, her body language this contradictory kind of lazy - cool, like her night was going exactly the way she planned but she still had places to be.
"It depends," she replies, one slender finger curled around the stem of her martini glass - which historically, is a drink she hates. "Who's asking?"
"Just me," you offer, letting the gesture and your tone leave it up to her. And then slowly, perhaps awkwardly: "ostensibly a complete and utter stranger who knows a gorgeous woman when he sees one - and who could never pass up a chance to see how the rest of her is."
"Smooth."
"I guess it is, considering you didn't immediately run for the exit."
Hyewon nearly snorts.
"Hard not to." She tilts her head back at you, assessing. Her cheeks are rosy pink. "A handsome thing like you doesn't usually buy themself a girl's time with flattery -"
"Buy your time or your drinks?" you tease, and you can tell she wants to roll her eyes - but she keeps them carefully lowered. Eyelashes dipping down like blackened fans.
Hyewon shifts slightly, resting her chin onto the heel of her wrist like she's leaning against an imaginary windowpane and tipping her face a little sideways. It makes you smile. "One gets the other, if you catch my meaning."
Maybe it takes you a little too long to lift your gaze off her lips to find her eyes, or off the sweeping curve of the hemline sitting high across her long legs, but she watches you for just a breath. It's a more telling moment that she pretends she doesn't know you.
"You can look at me if you like," and then without further preamble, she introduces herself with a slight tilt of the head and an expectant expression: "call me Hyewon."
You figure that if you've gotta say one word to get the ball rolling you want to say her name, and as a little revenge for forcing you to think on this scene and think on what to say, what your character would say, how exactly she wanted you to go about 'meeting' her in a hotel bar, how her fucking scenario's been building up in her head for god-knows-how-long (even though, in the scheme of the two of you and your relationship, it’s nowhere close to being the most demanding sex you've had), you reply simply with:
"Pretty."
It's satisfying, how she hesitates - pausing a little longer on your face to gauge exactly what you meant. Studying. But the next beat of your heart - or hers - is effortless, easy.
"I know. That's what my husband calls me."
"Husband?" You keep yourself from raising an eyebrow. "And I don't suppose I'm also... married?"
"Different day, different you."
"Meaning I have a wife or a mistress of my own," and you flick your wrist at the barkeep for a top-up of what's in front of Hyewon. "You're telling me I'm the kind of man who'd only settle for two."
It doesn't sound quite right, though Hyewon picks up on it. Doesn't let on. "Aren't men like you always? Charming to a fault, but always voracious - insatiable, especially with women like me."
"Women like you."
"Married women. Unavailable," she simpers, and in a practiced little motion, draws her hand out to where you can see it properly, this sparkle on her fourth finger that catches the lowlight of the bar. The diamond looks real - not that you'd actually know - and your stomach flexes up mid-somersault thinking about the financial impropriety for what amounts to a gag. A practical joke. Hyewon the comedian.
Still, you go with it and take her hand in yours, admiring. "What a pity." The glint off its faceted surface - Hyewon's watchful as she allows it.
"Isn't it," she agrees.
The more unnerving thing - besides how composed Hyewon can make herself be - is how the narrative quickly becomes a whole hell of a lot clearer with the context of marriage in play. She's mentioned it before: the infidelity thing, the way it leads to the raunchiest, filthiest bits she'll dare to explore. In some ways, her desire for the untouchable makes a lot more sense -
And maybe that's what had been nagging at your mind since she brought up the idea of playing the part: you always end up kissing in that stupid 'caught up' sort of way. With an intensity that's hard to beat. Even though you wouldn't ever cheat on her. Not in a million years. You'd watch her leave before doing anything like that.
But it's thrilling, almost, and even more thrilling that this isn't entirely improvisation: how well the two of you might actually play this off, as two total strangers to this illusory little roleplay that you'd normally say was your very last interest.
"But you know there's something I've come to appreciate about married men," Hyewon continues, her voice in this conspiratorial sort of hushed.
You blink, drawing her out.
"They know how to tie a knot."
There's the flirty wink, an upward flick of the chin that draws your eye to the span of her chest. To her body in that skin-hugging dress and your fingers entangled in hers - the gentle bump and shift of the bodies behind her, moving between the tables - Hyewon a queen of circumstance, playing to the moment as it bends; as her lips part in a pleased smile, red and smooth, almost innocent, and you can't help but imagine tasting her on your tongue, the force that'd take for her to yield when you finally got your hands in her hair.
(What a character, honestly.)
"Tell me something," you say, "why would a married woman, this pretty little thing like you, be all alone in a place like this - without her charming husband."
Hyewon's smile curls at the edges like smoke. "I never said he was charming."
You raise an eyebrow. "Good-looking, then."
"Never said as much either."
“Why are you with someone you find neither attractive nor charming?”
Hyewon makes a face, slightly pitied. “If that Isn’t what I’m asking myself everyday.”
"Hm." You narrow your eyes into something more quizzical than suggestive. It works on her anyway. "That doesn't feel too much like it's in character, Hyewon."
She shrugs, but it's that coy kind of shrug. She thinks you'll let her off easy - you usually do. All considered, she's the type who thrives off the chase and, as of today, so do you.
"But he is cute." Her expression is just this side of sweet, as she takes a dainty sip of her drink. Like the taste doesn’t bother her, like she isn't pretending she doesn't hate it with every fiber of her being. Like this is easy. "And maybe -" she quirks an eyebrow at you, withholding a smirk. "-you're right. Maybe, I was looking for someone cuter to fill the bill. And luck would have it, here he is."
So - apparently - her character doesn’t mind a little light infidelity.
Hyewon takes in the vague sense that the message wasn’t as clear as she might have liked, her forehead scrunching as she tries to convey - in a way that would communicate even to an airhead - some realization to play your part.
"Maybe it's the wrong question,” you start over, taking it from somewhere near the top, “what are you doing here, with me?"
That's when Hyewon graces you with one of the soft, slow kind of smiles: the kind that manages both an air of 'you dimwit' and 'good question'. Her fingertips barely graze yours but it's noticeably electric. Just enough to feel your pulse fluttering.
(You don't care that none of it’s real - Hyewon looks to you through thick eyelashes like a goddess of temptation and sin - and it makes something wicked coil up warm at the pit of your gut. A curious thrill and a recklessness that you have to admit feels a little nice - being the man trying to talk this woman into bed. The challenge and the buildup, the want to work for it. It's new. It's fresh. Lo-and-behold, it's kinda hot.)
When you catch her stare, she fidgets. So slightly, so briefly, your chest is on fire and you're barely into the pages of her plans, of this night ahead.
"Wish fulfillment, let's say," and that is no less true. "See it’s my husband."
"Mhmm."
"He respects me too much to do the things I'm going to ask you to do."
"Like?" you continue to prod.
Hyewon lets out the tiniest shiver of a sigh, like a trickle of cold water down the length of her spine. "Take a good guess."
You finish the rest of Hyewon's martini, slow. Savoring the warmth and bitterness sliding down the back of your throat. The night's young, sure - and if you're supposed to be spending it all wrapped around Hyewon's finger. This means you can take your time.
"Show me your room?" you propose, gesturing to the empty glass.
"I thought you'd never ask."
At your offering, she stands up and throws on her coat - long, double-breasted, chic - but only really just off her shoulders to have the hem hit her legs mid-thigh. One of her many personal quirks. Hyewon knows how to move like there aren't two eyes staring at her wherever she goes: not the awkward side-to-side of a girl who wasn't made to wear heels - a loping gait - nor the assured click, click of the taller kind that totter like it's all they've got going for them.
Something totally different: a little careless and a little haughty and an assurance of the highest confidence.
She winds an arm round yours like they do in movies, this parody of a leading lady - Hyewon not a seductress as much as she is someone who'll look the part just to convince you otherwise. There is a pretty big discrepancy, you find, between her bravado and her smile, her figure and her artistry - you couldn't act if you wanted to; meanwhile, she does whatever she damn well pleases. And somehow that doesn't even begin to cover the things that turn her on.
The two of you make for the stairs, winding up floor after floor until it's perfectly quiet, perfectly out of sight - hidden away from prying eyes and ears.
The silence of an empty hotel stairwell is thick - Hyewon's hand comes off the railing, as she takes to the wall and turns to face you. It's a gentle tug at the tie loose around your neck, barely any give before you're already there, holding her by the hips.
"Might've gotten us lost there," you whisper, as her finger plays at your chest and finds its way round the collar of your shirt. Your top button is already undone by the time you notice she's not fond of it. "The elevators would've gotten us where we're headed faster."
"Don't worry." She hums, leaning in close - like a magnet, like gravity. "You're getting the scenic route."
"Anything to stall the inevitable," you tease, but it isn't a thread she seems interested in developing.
"Something like that."
Hyewon shifts her weight back onto her right foot, her skirt riding up just barely. The dip between her inner thighs and the smooth curve of her leg is open and bare to your sight, her dark stockings like an unspoken challenge: the panties, lacy, loose, no crotch.
And it gets... indecent, the way your lips connect, how you realize half-way into that kiss, she's still smiling. It isn't any one way that does it; maybe it's the clever use of her tongue, or that particular position you've coaxed her up against the stairwell wall that makes it seem like Hyewon can't be any more in danger - it's too much to handle and your mouth goes slack on the reflex of an apology; her hand has a hold on you by the jaw and it won't budge.
"My husband," she murmurs into you, the trace of the words ghosting into the breath between the both of you. "Never lets me."
"What," you rasp, barely recognizing your own voice, your hand heavy on her side - the very real fear that you might tip over a banister because Hyewon's got her heel half-way into the back of your calf and any less bracing would bring you down. Your thoughts are a fog, with her cheek in one hand and your knee already up between her thighs.
"His wife," she almost swallows down, kisses turning chaste because maybe it's just easier to gently peck out her intentions, how she looks to you with dark eyes, heavy-lidded and wanting, a thumb trailing down the plane of your cheek. It'd feel like pity if you weren't thinking exactly the same.
You try to finish it for her:
"She likes it rough."
"No." Her nose traces yours before she connects you again - gentle and slow, and a shudder rolls all down the expanse of her shoulders; you think you have it about right. Until she makes the slightest adjustment and her grip in your hair turns agonizing, perfect and burning on the edge of too tight - too much. You are straining against the wall of a hotel hallway and she's saying, "not rough."
She kisses you. Hard. Until you gasp for the stolen air in her lungs.
"Filthy," she manages against the heat and sting at the side of her cheek.
(Damn.)
Your voice has gone and lodged itself firmly somewhere between her lungs - but there's something that says she knows. That you've got it in you, the brimming potential that might just say everything you ever wanted but couldn't figure the right way to put it.
It's the tone of her voice or the spark in her eyes, but one moment into the next - you're caught in this pull - like gravity's increasing tenfold at her will; her heartbeat's so strong you swear you feel it against your ribs as she's demanding:
"Messy. Dirty. A little uninhibited," and the obvious thrill of that must flare up like lightning under her skin - the way it makes her moan, soft and breathless: "fuck me like my husband doesn't."
She’s not even waiting for the comfort of the room yet, which in hindsight is probably checking more of Hyewon's many boxes - it's the sex in public thing, the fear of discovery thing, the desire to have you ravish her out where anyone can come upon you sort of thing - the thought of which has your jaw go a little slack too. Her leg up is coiled up around your hip, your fingers tangled in her hair and sliding up the length of her thigh, until you're fucking kneading up her ass and drawing out that desperate whine in her.
"Fuck," she exhales into your shoulder - a hand on the metal bannister to brace against those little circles you start to rub inside her, pushing - slowly - one, two, three knuckles deep, testing - before drawing back, and plunging forward again. This ache, slow and purposeful, pressing just enough into her until there's a wet sort of friction that has your hand slick all down your wrist.
It never takes long, with your fingers on her clit, fingers inside her, a palm covering the moans out of her mouth -
She cums just like that.
Whining and broken and bent under you, and with an elbow hard against her ribcage to make the breaths come shallow.
"Stay quiet for me, sweetheart," you find yourself murmuring, as your teeth graze the shell of her ear - the short burst of hair and silky strands across the back of her neck; you're undoing the neat ribbon tied round the length of her hair and letting her waves settle on her shoulder in time for you to swallow down the sound of her sighs, the tension in her lips, and the frantic jolt when your fingers push through the wet, heat of her pussy again, merciless and quick. You have to be careful; she nearly bites your fucking tongue out.
"Can't." Her jaw's tight on it, the slight staccato to her breathing, murmuring and slightly dazed: "if we get caught, someone will see. Someone will notice."
Her next exhale is more shaky. "Anyone could see us like this," with just her toes curling and her stomach tensing on every second beat. Your grip leaves a bruise. "Please-"
"We're not supposed to be doing this at all, are we? If you've got a husband waiting somewhere?"
You hear yourself, and it sounds sorta degenerate, though in all the right ways, you figure, like something straight out of one of Hyewon's romance novels, the dirty, smutty ones that she swears up and down she simply reads for the plot, but the dazed, hazy kind of mood they get her worked up into suggest otherwise.
You trace the rough pad of your thumb over her pussy, this delicate, ghost of a touch. One you'd have to strain to even tell if it was there or not until she whines - eyes screwed shut like she doesn't mean to, just does. The sound of it bouncing around the stairwell.
And then, all this wet: her skirt's ridden all the way up to her stomach, damp and near-transparent with slick, and you can just imagine the puffy pink between her legs - between her stockings in the afterglow of an orgasm, spent and sensitive and sore and wanting for more. Your eyes linger a little too long -
"I shouldn't let you," she manages, half a moan on it - one of her heels comes up the stair you're standing on and the way Hyewon clings onto you for balance says enough, but still, she demands, with all the strength her throat allows: "make it fast. You're lucky I let you see me like this at all -"
And she cuts off abruptly, looking at you.
(She'll play coy for a while longer. Which, Hyewon being Hyewon, will look like as much an effort as her sprawl out on the bed for you is.)
"The room," you say to her, harshly, "where is it."
"Four more floors."
-
Room 1014 as it turns out is like every other room you've ever been in, each one perhaps a little more identical than the last - except this one has Hyewon sitting in your lap while you get comfortable on the bed, and there's also the way she looks in the mirror above the headboard, the desperation in her stare, right back into the reflection.
"What all," she says, "do you want to do to me?"
This time - no explicit instructions - just an implication. You have to figure it out.
See, the image of her is like every fantasy rolled into one, wearing this thin black bra that has her breasts just about spilling over. They're amazing - the color and shape of her skin. Soft. Cradled between the cups like a godsend, and maybe that's why it drives her a little crazy how good you look biting down the ridge of her breast and flicking your eyes back up to catch her expression.
It has you feeling, if nothing else, a little ‘adventurous,’ too.
Her belly tenses on a heavy sigh and it's one hell of a thing to have Hyewon staring you down, like you're an animal or an idiot, with her eyes flashing and a thinly veiled anger in the purse of her lips. There's a thousand things she'd like to do to you - for you to do to her - but it's about the predicament: the silk necktie she'd pulled off you as you both stumbled through the door has ended up around her wrists, pinning her arms behind her back in a way that suggests a loss of control. Just the mere suggestion of a little playacting, but she's almost keening.
You feel the touch of her right calf keep rising - curving down your waist, hooked behind the small of your back - her thighs smooth, and a hot line along your sides.
"I should fuck that pretty mouth of yours," you say against the shell of her ear, because you know better than anyone, the very concept gets her wet. Uncomfortably so.
And she leans her head against your temple like she'd love it. You could be imagining the little whimper as she clenches up round nothing - until a growl escapes the back of her throat and she's saying -
"Is that how you're going to cum? With me on my knees and nothing else? Cover my pretty face? How you’ll completely ruin me?. You’re more creative than that."
“I don’t know that I am.”
Her hips move to find some friction where there isn't any until you give her some, pulling your cock out through your pants and feeling it brush, once, twice against the seam of her. Hot, and hard. Ready. And if she only tried a little, the angle was made perfectly to slot your head in, but neither of you move. She doesn't yield.
"Let me fuck myself on you," she suggests, strained, almost pleading. "Then perhaps I will."
You could take her like she is. Any which way. But this is about getting a particular reaction - one that'll leave her spent and trembling - and nothing like that will happen without a little bit of preparation and prelude. You want to watch her writhe for hours. Until she forgets she's playing a character at all, until she's panting your name and whimpering for release, her cheeks burning.
But at least it gets her writhing on you, the heat and press of her body as she leans in close, your eyes locking:
"Get your cock inside me-" the urgency in her voice. "-fuck me right now, this second-"
"Say it again."
"Fill me with your perfect cock." The words land right on your lips, frayed at the edges as the tether to her control slips another notch. "Push my thighs apart until you break me," Hyewon tells you - and then with her legs twisted up in the comforter, the creaking mattress and the sweat on the sheets: she rolls her hips like they're pleading for it.
"Pushy."
"Gentle's got no appeal for us."
"Apparently not," you reply - but then it's suddenly a lot easier, to slide one hand in Hyewon's hair, and grip at the knotted silk wrapped tight 'round her wrists to hold her. There's no hiding the subtle arching of her spine, how the pressure off her arms pulls her chest in or makes it all the more comfortable, she doesn't let on, she'll probably keep pretending she doesn't like this, that she hasn't always wanted -
You run your tongue over her collarbone and thrust up inside her, once - a warning that you're not giving in to her quite yet.
The smile that runs her lips is brittle. Like her patience isn't what it used to be - she makes a quiet little noise, pained. A flash of discomfort. But there's a moan and a curse out of her:
"Like that. Harder."
"What does harder mean?" you ask, with a deliberate repetition in motion, thrusting upward, forcing her hips to shift a few degrees further back - her knees clenching around the sheets as you're met with no give - Hyewon's resistance through a dark smile, and her grip slackened in her hands, despite you keeping a fist wound tight in the hair on the back of her head, tightening the other around her restraint.
Her throat flinches: this shudder.
She takes a couple heaving, open-mouthed breaths, before she has it in her to glare at you again.
"Harder-" The way her mouth shapes around the word gets the better of you - cute little cupid's bow in pink, full and swollen and pursed up as if in pain. Or desire. Or both, the way her head is tipped back, hair half undone - an idea is already coiling at the back of your mind. "-until I can't stand."
"Or talk?"
And when your hand loosens on her wrists, her posture slumps like it's relief, that you're finally going to move along in a direction she's getting some satisfaction from -
Hyewon shakes her head in a moment that's almost blissed.
"You," her voice breaks on the tail end, "fucking wish you could shut me up that easily -"
In a motion almost gentle, you twist the length of hair down around her, from her scalp to her jaw, and wrap it around a hand. "Let's see if you'll change your mind, shall we."
There's a sharp draw of air in past her lips, just one sound, not a word. No proper rebuttal. She bites down, teeth clicking.
So you pull.
And this isn't some revelation, that Hyewon's cunt is heaven. Slick and tight, the fit around your cock and the gasp escaping the base of her throat - that isn't new. You've been here countless times, fucked her past her breaking point, beyond what should reasonably satisfy her or satisfy you, but that still doesn't take away from this incredible, heady rush that pulses through your entire body. It never stops getting better, not inch-after-fucking-inch the way you're bottoming out inside Hyewon's body and feel how hard the rest of her muscles tense up in the contact, how her pussy tightens and quivers, and grips around the entirety of your cock, the briefest taste of pleasure and release before it's pulled back just out of her reach - overstimulated, until Hyewon cries out.
You expect, predict the fight, the whimpers that spill out of her mouth with every slap of your skin and the breathless way she begs, pleads, like she'd rather her pride take it from her than have your fingers tug her hair up, right out of her scalp, with your arm locked around her lower waist. With your cock pumping faster, faster and a pressure, hot and inescapable, right there - the friction building - the slippery-wet heat sliding along your shaft with every stroke until you bottom out and her next exhale is a sob.
A goddamn fucking sob and the warm gush of liquid down her thighs - all on you. You fingers are pressed into her ass, pulling onto you, steading her bounce - and Hyewon finds her breathing uneven, as you smear wet across the curve of her backside, rubbing circles into her lower back as you catch up on the rhythm she'd lost.
"This tight little cunt, huh," you tease, and she nods so desperately it seems like she might snap. Like she might cry again and this time for real, a drop of her eye color past the blush, streaking down her cheek. You have the wherewithal to remember your character, your blocking, your lines: "this is what your husband won't do? Won't fuck you on every piece of furniture until you're a ruined fucked-out mess? Doesn't have the decency to work over his little slutty-wife until she's passed out, dripping with cum?"
Hyewon's fingers curl up into two balls of white knuckles and she chokes on her reply. "He won't."
"Tell him. He has a hot and dirty little piece of ass right under his own roof-"
"You think," and the string of words trails off when you manage to grind in, at this angle that has her reeling, trembling at every shift and jerk in momentum. Your knuckles drag against her soft and giving curves, almost gripping at her in the attempt to hold her down on you. "-my husband isn't enough."
"Well you wanted me to fuck the domestic housewife out of you," you murmur, taking two greedy handfuls of the ass bouncing in your lap, rubbing your palms along her hips, up and around the shape of her abdomen and her ribcage like you'd map it, memorize it. She wants this, you know this: your palms come around and over and brush your thumbs against her rising gooseflesh - she's putty in your hands. "No strings attached, remember, a one night kind of thing-"
"My husband loves me."
"Then it seems-"
"He makes me cum with his hands alone."
Your jaw works tight - Hyewon's cunt feels as good wrapped around you as she says your cock feels making a mess of it.
"Tells me he'd die happy hearing me moan his name."
"Oh, because no matter where he goes," you say, fingers wrapping under and around the back of her neck, forcing her to look you in the eye, "no matter what, your sweet cunt's the only one his mouth is ever watering for, isn't that right-"
A blink, lashes thick and feathering down and over the pools of her pupils as you have a hold of her tight. 
You're having a hard time with this, and you want to give it to her, the toe-curling-crescendo that would see her cumming at your will, or worse, losing the plot completely and your entire setup falling away from the charade of characters you'd both conjured. But she looks at you like she's never loved anyone like she loves you, the naked, barefaced devotion, the tenderness - a quick breath, a second - and the game is suddenly something far more personal, a truth. It isn't exactly fair: how your heart stutters. How much her heartbeat makes your pulse flutter, the electrifying rush you get when you fuck roughly up into her tight, wet cunt and make her bite down on nothing in the throes another orgasm.
You barely have a second to think of something coherent, let alone an out before she kisses you. If that isn’t totally disarming. So you move her into the next, flipping her onto her stomach, and she does nothing to fight back: Hyewon just lies there - the side of her face plastered to the comforter - exhausted, and gives a willing, malleable moan at the contact where your hand digs into the shape of her upper thighs, spreading them out as her elbows struggle behind her back.
"Here, baby," you say, finally unwinding the silk knot between her wrists, "I'll have you like the little desperate fucktoy you really are."
There's the bite to her bottom lip, the whole five seconds it takes for her hands to spread out and twist her fingers tight in the bedspread, before she whines - full-throated - and rocks back onto her toes to arch her back.
(See, the thing: Hyewon likes being fucked within an inch of her life. On all fours and pleading for more.)
With your free hand, you reach around her to run over her inner thighs.
Hyewon brings her grip to the bottom of the bed frame, for purchase, or leverage, you don't know, and in one simple motion, you slip your cock back deep inside her pussy.
You curse under your breath.
Hyewon fucking collapses.
It's a dangerous combination, having her begging and you nearly fully clothed while she's wearing barely more than this thin strip of black silk around her waist and a stocking on one leg, but you can't help it - she looks good this way.
"Fuck," she spits out, voice lost when your hips find hers in this wet, sloppy crash of skin that gets louder, faster and more punishing on each beat. "Like that, oh my God-"
Her whimpering only gets worse - when you start only pulling out halfway, until she's gasping like she can't breathe. You think there isn't a more wonderful, more obscene, more gorgeous thing than Hyewon spread out in front of you - the curve of her spine defining each and every one of the lines, dips, and rises of her body - and you would thank God or some higher deity right about now.
It’s fuck and please and every other little pliant utterance of “fuck my brains out, use me, make me beg, I'm so turned on right now I'll let you fuck me anyway you want - harder, faster, I can do whatever, just show me how, make me, push and fuck me hard until I'm raw and aching - god - like this, let me cum, please, let me - keep fucking going, oh my god, please, like this, fuck, just like this-"
You do thank God, actually - there's mirrors everywhere in this room, and you can catch the circular swing of her tits every time you force a curse and a sigh out of her: the bared teeth and the effort to push herself back on her arms, bracing for every thrust, fighting and fumbling to keep her balance and to make sure you have to pound her into the mattress until her cries reach a pitch.
Then, the thing you'd learned she'd never ask for but oh-so-dearly-wanted - you open your palm and bring it down hard on her backside. The impact of your flesh to hers, a crack, a moan and her whole body flexes - and it's then you do it again: matching the hit to the visible red outline of your handprint. The third time, she hisses, biting into the bed sheets so as not to cry out.
"Right? This is what you want? To be fucked and used?"
She doesn't reply with words, because she may in fact be biting her teeth into the cotton threadcount at the end of the bed, but she lifts her ass higher, angles her hips like she's waiting for more. Her brow is creased in a smile, even though a frustrated groan escapes her lips - so you give her that again, and again, until the back of her thighs are turning red and she's clawing one hand back along the length of your legs - pushing and pulling.
"You want me to fuck you senseless, sweetheart?"
And then, so needy and desperate she's just saying the first word that come to mind:
"More-"
"-when I've been railing into you so hard and your husband probably knows already, has to have seen, maybe he's listening at the door- oh," and your whole train of thought comes to a sudden halt upon seeing Hyewon's hand land on the perfect round of her ass, fingers pulling her soft, reddening skin taut, up and away from where your cock is disappearing between her cheeks - to allow more of your shaft into her hot, wet cunt - allow you to fuck her and fuck her up - allow the length of your shaft to slide deeper and hit all the spots that will send her reeling into this orgasm and the next.
Your gaze is stuck however, not to her curves rippling in excess, the damage of your thrusts pounding her body to ruin, or the look of flawless pleasure twisting up the pretty features of Hyewon's reflection, but instead it's the fucking flash and catch of the diamond that adorns her fourth finger. Even when you have her completely helpless, bent on your mercy, she's still wearing that promise, that intention to have and to hold, and you think, for at least a second, this whole roleplay thing isn't the worst idea: being a surrogate to fulfill someone's wildest fantasies. It might even be enough to make you hard all over again - the thrill and the debasement of your girl, lines quickly blurring between the Hyewon you'll take home and put back together and the Hyewon you're fucking pouding into a mattress - the here and now.
"Fuck, Hyewon," you find yourself swearing - steadying the hips rolling back in your palms, bending down until the flat of your chest meets her back, until your nose is in her hair, the long strands sticking to her lips and the back of her ears. Until you feel her shaking as you suckle against her skin, at her neck, hot kisses between the shoulder blades, finding a grip in her hands. Her grip in yours - as she's muffling these exquisite, needy sounds; she is perfect. Hyewon is perfect.
The first time you cum, it's this hot splatter of white: smeared across her ass and the crease of her lower back. It feels almost dirty to think that's just how you feel about it; your heart is stuttering in its erratic pace, but your eyes are drawn and enraptured, the sight of it all.
Then second, maybe your favorite: when she slips her hand to your aching shaft and simply takes you back inside her. This soft, wet, inviting heat that pulls you back to her.
"God- please," her head tips back, you feel the arch of her back through her ribs and stomach, the way her breath catches as you slide your cock through her creamed-out-cunt so much harder and smoother. "It feels so fucking good, baby," and there are tears now, welling in the corner of her eyes, "don't stop, God don't ever stop-"
She can barely finish her sentence before she's cut off, a moan ripped from the bottom of her lungs and a gasp straight from the pain-pleasure that has your balls slapping against her pussy every other stroke. And suddenly she's sitting, or rather, squirming into your arms, her face buried in your shoulders as she starts riding you, and not-quite crying and saying again - again, the whole filthy lot of things: about her wanting you to fill her, to plug her up with your cock. Every thrust she whines in your ears, clutching onto the fabric of your shirt and making a mess of herself in you.
It's this wild and reckless thing that makes its way around the room, on every surface and bit of furniture. You fuck her over the counter, let her ride you on the sofa, the chair, the two of you managing to find some sort of assistance in the wall even, the door frame, her legs up your sides and the slippery-sticky-heat of your mouths connecting and everything that isn't exactly meant to support that kind of strain buckling and nearly giving way - once when the wooden joints in the door-frame shift, once when she begs for release in that frantic voice that doesn't sound a thing like her. And the way she comes apart under you after, on top of you - is even sweeter; you imagine there's this endless possibility for love, for pleasure, a whole world in bundled in the notion that you could do it for her again, that it was always a question of Hyewon letting you have her that way, and the rest was mere foreplay - a stretch.
Only, on the bed again, Hyewon shivers beneath you, this full-body response, and you've got her stretched as she opens up - that the slightest of movements has her already whimpering out "fuck," and "please," and "right there," and "fuck you're going to make me come like this. You're so good, just fucking," and "more, harder, please, you feel so fucking good-"
The desperation for release is so palpable in her that it's curling into your stomach as your press Hyewon's knees into the points and edges of her shoulders and fold in her half - this perfect angle of leverage. Fucking her like she's yours and no one else's - the absolute delight of her cunt, wet, hot, and desperate to milk you empty - her body quaking at the force of each thrust, and the hungry grind of your hips into hers. Her fingers digging and knotting in the sheets around you until her knuckles pale, and your own grasp on her skin threatens to bruise.
"Inside me," she gasps out, because she can feel that edge just as well as you, "I want you to fill me, just cum inside, God, you always feel so amazing, fuck, like that, cum inside me, cum in me-"
"How could I say no, especially when you ask so sweetly," you tell her, kissing into her smile, "can you take another? Baby, look at me, look into my eyes, yeah? Look right back at me."
Her eyes blink and roll back a bit, almost losing focus and her eyelashes flutter - the creases in her brow, the elegant lines of her face locking up in the overwhelming tension, then, a peak.
And a demand, meekly asking you to fill her up. Until there's nothing left. "Cum," Hyewon moans, "for the love of fuck-"
You push her past her climax until she's practically weeping, sobbing through a litany of nonsense and slurred, unfinished sentences and almost howls, struggling beneath your weight and coaxing her fingers over the surge at the base of your spine. Before a hot liquid mess bursts out of you, into the deepest reach of Hyewon's throbbing cunt - cumming inside her, while you hold her down, not allowing her to move as your hips lock and you're both left groaning in utter agony.
(This was the thing you'd told her once - cumming inside her was almost always worth the effort it took to clean it all back out. You like the possessive aspect of it, maybe the slight humiliation, and more than anything, she'll just melt: once she's gone past the immediate discomfort. If anyone could really learn to get off on feeling a little filthy, it's the two of you. And she knows that too, Hyewon's eager little pout intimates, as she blinks down to watch where the two of you connect.)
You don't say much for the next while. If there's a line where this particular escapade blends back into your normal life, where the Hyewon curled up in the sheets is your own girl and not some half-conceived entity that didn't fit the reality of the rest of the evening, or how you see Hyewon everyday, even then, it’s not clear.
She's utterly boneless - this fragile, dazed thing that runs her palms all the way around her breasts and pulls up her stockings a little further up the line of her hips, as if you weren't going to peel them back and slip them all the way off when you had the wherewithal to handle it. But the strength in her isn't entirely lost either, she looks ready to burst: this air of pride and smugness - victory, right in her grin, which isn't totally surprising. Hyewon usually gets an odd satisfaction out of your participation in whatever hedonistic or obscene thing it is she wants to try.
This was her fantasy - maybe not a deeply rooted or unattainable one, but she'd worked out some kinks of hers and has walked away a far better woman for it, knowing what a sight she is to you. Like this.
"That was... fun," Hyewon eventually says, collecting articles of clothing strewn about the room.
Her shoes are one of two sets in the shoe-rack, but she'll have to look around and under the bed to find her dress. It would probably be some strange level of easy to play dumb and wait until she comes to the conclusion on her own that she should bend down and check down there, but she looks a little too worn out to really be interested in her clothes, more like, ready for the next part.
"We should do it again," her gaze lands, intent, and serious, back to you.
"Which part?" you have to ask, because you're probably still, a little slow on the uptake.
A small laugh, the sly smirk to herself; she knows she has you wrapped so perfectly around her finger, ready to bend to whatever game she can come up with: "whichever part you like."
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solarlunarsstuff · 7 months
Note
HEY! i adore your writing :) i was wondering if you could write a semi long one shot abt reader riding mike and him being super sensitive and him whining and moaning and calling him a good boy and maybe like… spitting in his mouth… LMAOOOO
LMAO, U READ MY MIND FR ALSO, UR LITERALLY MY FIRST ASK, TY FOR THAT HERES AN AWARD 4 YOU🏅
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙
☆ Her Whiny Boy ☆
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Synopsis: Even if he started the teasing it'll always end in him being a big whiny mess, and him being so sensitive.
Tw: Dacryphilia, spitting, foul language, sub!Mike and dom!Reader, dick riding, marking, penatrative sex (p in v), and pet names.
A/n: ILYYY FOR THE REQUEST GIVING YOU BIG FOREHEAD KISSIES MWAH🫶🫶🫶
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙
For a start, Mike and you have been friends since you were both about 5 years old. He was sitting on the elementary school's swing.
You obviously decided to talk to him. That was about 20 years ago, you yourself thought that the relationship wouldn't go that far but here you are now.
Sitting on Mike's bed while he was all hot and bothered, all pressed up against you. He had his lips attached to yours for the past 10 minutes, Mike wanted more. He needed more.
But you knew, oh you knew how to pull his strings. Mike was leaning against the headrest of his bed with you straddling his lap.
You started to slowly grind into him, you tugged on his hair lightly to see his reaction. Mike's moan was muffled between the heated make out.
"F-fuck, {Y/n}, pl-please" he whined out.
You knew he needed it, but you don't want to just hand it to him, no no. You had to tease him back.
You didn't answer but you did grind down harder, he let a groan move past his lips while his head lolled back.
"Hmmm, how about I get you a little ready first? Sounds good, ay?" You taunted his neediness
Fuck he looked so hot, he looked so disheveled that it was attractive. His hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, you and Mike were both fully dressed making it a bit hard to get friction.
You reached your arms out for the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head, he obliged and puts his arms up for more access.
Once you got his shirt over he wanted you to take yours off but you thought otherwise, you instantly grabbed his hands and put it to your hips that were still moving up along his crotch area.
"No, you're not allowed to touch me just yet." You reminded him
Mike whined once again, shit you needed more. You got up off of him and looked down, he had a spot on his pants that were wet. That was sent straight to your core making you soak your pretty black laced panties.
Fuck it. You pulled your top up and over yourself to reveal that you didn't have anything under, you took note that Mike had been palming himself through his jeans.
You moved closer to him letting out a big huff while gripping the sides of his pants and pulling them down past him ankles, catching his boxers along with it and onto the floor where your top was.
You were nearly drooling at his cock, he twitched making him embarrassed and tried covering his beautiful face. While giving him a few experimental pumps and saw how his tip leaked a bit of precum and he grew a bit bigger which you thought was impossible.
You let go and stood up off the bed and onto the floor to shimmy out of your own pants, also catching your laced panties and tossing it into the pile of clothing on the wooden floor.
Crawling back onto him, straddling his thighs while pumping him a little again. You brought your right hand up to your mouth and spit just to lather it into his ready dick.
Mike moaned through his anticipation of wanting to touch you. He wanted to touch you, your body, your everything. Mike needed to touch your soft skin with his rough hands.
"You can touch me now, Mike." You finally replied
Mike was so eager he dove straight for your breasts, massaging them and giving them kitten licks so they would harden from his heated muscle.
You reached for his head and shoved it into your chest more, he was like a starved man. He took the opportunity and used his whole mouth sucking and leaving hickeys on your breast so he could see them turn into a pretty purple later on.
While he was stuffed between your tits, he looked up at you with his beautiful brown colored eyes, it broke something in you.
You pulled his head away by tugging a bit harder on his hair to move him, he let out a hng from the pressure. That made your core dampen even more.
You lifted yourself up a bit and grabbed the length of his cock and positioned it in front of your sopping entrance.
You sat your whole weight down into him, you both whined in unison. Your eyes rolled back while you sat there for a moment to make sure you could adjust to his size.
You slowly started to move, you were steadily sat on his lap. Mike's cock buried deep in you, you'd think he'd split you, which he was. But you loved every single second of it.
"{Y/n}- hiccup -fuckkkk, need more. Need t' move in you." Mike complained
God he was a mess and loved him because of how he acted. At this point you started to bounce on him, he couldn't take it. Mike had reached his arms out and had a death grip on your hips.
He moved you up and down with his hands on your hips, his breathing was unsteady and his whimpers and cries of shit don't stop, m' so close didn't help you out either.
"Open your mouth." You demanded him
He indulged and open his mouth along with lolling his tongue out, you used your left hand to hold his face in place while your right was resting on his thigh for stability.
While still riding him you spat in his mouth and called him dirty slurs while you assisted his dick that was stretching you out greedily.
"Hah, being- fuck. Being such a good boy f' me aren't you.. letting me spit in your mouth." You mocked at him
Your walls spasmed around his cock that told him you were close, you rested your hands on his shoulders.
"I'm gonna- fuckin' cu-!" You blurted out
Your sopping wet cunt tightened our him and came, leaving your slick on his cock and lower stomach.
He was ramming into you at this point, his dick was kissing your cervix which made you want to cum again.
As soon as you came back from your delusions, he came, and hard. You swear your eyesight went white.
You were both breathing heavily from your highs.
"You did so good.." you mumbled while collapsing onto Mike's chest.
He didn't say anything but tightened the embrace and kissed your forehead.
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
A/n: I feel like I did a shitty job one this one but I did it woo-hoo! Also I'm sorry again if it's to short my luvs :(
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ineffablyruined · 9 months
Text
I want to talk about THAT smile. The one from the elevator. The one that scares us (or maybe just me).
This one:
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It's stayed with me since the first time I saw it. Michael Sheen is an absolute master of his face, so this sinister smile means something. I don't believe that it's a forced smile that he's pasting on before he enters Heaven. It looks absolutely malevolent.
And I just couldn't figure out WHY.
Aziraphale just left everything he loves behind: humans, food, bookshop, and Crowley. Crowley most of all. He was devastated after that kiss, devastated that Crowley wouldn't just come with him so they could be together. He was hurt, shattered, unsure of himself and his decision. So why the practically evil face?
I don't subscribe to the Coffee Theory. I think it takes too much away from the emotional and character development and everything the fandom went through in those last 10 minutes for Neil to pull the rug out from under us like that.
So if he's not drugged, then what's the face?
The Metatron just dropped a bomb on him. The Second Coming. Heaven's going to restart the apocalypse. End the Earth. The place where he'd just left the love of his life and everything he holds dear. Make everything they'd fought for absolutely meaningless.
And then I remembered this face:
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See how similar they are?
I've seen a lot of people put this down to a repeat body swap theory, but I don't buy that either. I think that would be less inspired than what we've come to expect from the brilliance of Neil's and Terry's minds.
I'm going on a bit of a tangent here for a second, but I promise it will make sense in a minute. When the demons were coming for them, Nina told Aziraphale that he shouldn't wait to be saved by Crowley, that he should come up with his own plans and save himself. And he did, but it wasn't a total plan. It was the beginnings of one. He held them off, but when his plan ran out of time, it put him and the two humans (except maybe not -> looking at you, Maggie) he's come to care about at risk. Then he had to do something reckless and probably stupid, and it worked, but it was too close.
Back to the matter at hand:
These two perfectly wonderful, complete f*cking morons have spent the last 4 years together. Probably daily. And do you know what happens when you spend so much time together?
You start picking up the other person's mannerisms, mirroring speech patterns and body language.
My theory:
Aziraphale spent that elevator ride coming up with a plan. He's come up with something that he thinks will be so clever, so unexpected of him (an angel), so Crowley-esque, that the Metatron will never see it coming. And he's not about to cock it up like he did in the bookshop, show up with only a half-baked plan.
No. He's got something positively diabolical. Something inspired by Crowley. So he makes the face that he's learned from spending four years in the daily company of the original owner of that expression. The only face he could possibly make when figuring out how to save the world and get back to his demon. And thinking about how much he can't wait to tell a Crowley how clever he's been.
That face is 6000 years of togetherness in the making.
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kenzlovesyou · 17 days
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could you write something about you and Caitlins families being very close in high school and ur relationship growing from there?
ur idea is so cute! i’m so sorry it took me so long to get to it, i hope i executed it well!
Every Season - Caitlin Clark x Reader
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Yours’ and Caitlin’s family had been friends for many years. The two of you had grown up neighbors, as your moms were best friends and it was their lifelong dream of living next door to each other. You remember when you were little, always going over to Caitlin’s house or her coming over to yours. Caitlin was your best friend in the entire world. The two of you did everything together. There wasn’t one day in the past 10 years that you hadn’t seen Caitlin.
When you and Caitlin hit your junior year of high school, time seemed to start moving too fast for your liking. It was a cold winter morning and you buttoned up the last button on your coat. With that done, you grabbed your bag and walked out the front door. Caitlin was there waiting for you in her car. That was the deal. As soon as one of you could, you would get your license and drive the other around. Caitlin, being 4 months older, had begrudgingly agreed on getting hers and now she was your personal chauffeur. You got into the car and went to buckle your seatbelt, “Morning, Cait,” you said to her absentmindedly, more focused on finding the buckle. Caitlin groaned as she took the buckle from your hand and did it for you.
“Y/n! Why’d you have to run late today of all days? I’m tireddd and I wanted to get coffee!” You knew she was halfway joking about her level of disappointment, but you still had an idea on how to help her feel better. “What if,” you started, “we just went now? We can skip first if you want?” You smiled at her expectantly.
Caitlin just stared back at you with a smirk. “When did you become such a bad girl, Y/n?” You wondered yourself where that idea had come from. You were always wondering where the sudden heat was coming from.
Caitlin drove you two to the drive thru window of a chain Coffee shop, and ordered for you both. She hadn’t even asked what you wanted. You always got the same thing, and she’d had it memorized ever since you started drinking coffee. You got your drinks and Caitlin pulled around to a parking space in the lot so you could hangout and drink them.
You stared at her as you sipped your ice coffee, taking in how her brown eyes sparkled more and more as the sun rose higher in the sky. You nearly choked on the caramel tasting drink as her hand reached down to grab your free one.
“Y’know I’m really glad you suggested this, Y/n. We haven’t spent much time together lately. Honestly I’ve missed this,” Caitlin stared at you with those sparkling eyes that you were just staring at a minute ago. ‘When did she get this..hot?’ You thought to yourself. Perhaps you were just delirious from lack of sleep. That was the only logical explanation. How else could it be then that you had known Caitlin all your life and never noticed her beauty in that way before?
Spring break of that same year, your parents plan a family camping trip with the Clark’s. The car ride is long and bumpy, but you don’t complain one bit because you think that you’d endure a lot more than a bumpy road trip if it meant you could spend time with your best friend. Your family pulled up to the campsite and you hopped out of the car. Caitlin’s family was already there and had done the majority of the unpacking and setting up camp already.
Caitlin sees you and jogs over to you. “Hey you.” She wore her usual smirk on her face. “Hey yourself,” you say back as you wrap your arms around her in a hug.
Sure, you two had always been a bit touchy, having known each other for so long, but you and Caitlin had found a new comfort in each other lately. From Caitlin having her arm protectively draped over your shoulder, to laying her head on your shoulder, to you rubbing her back after a long practice, the two of you had definitely grown more comfortable expressing your affection physically.
Caitlin grabbed your duffel bag off your shoulder and slung it over her own and led you to a tent. “I thought we could share one, and Colin and Blake could share with your brother. Is that cool with you?”
You had definitely been cool with that. In fact you were more than cool with it. You weren’t sure why, but the thought of alone time with Caitlin had made you feel so special lately. Like, wow! Caitlin wanted to spend time with you. Just you.
The summer before your senior year was when you really felt a change in yours and Caitlin’s relationship dynamic. You two were much more physical, and were hanging out even more than you already had been before. You’d stay after school to watch her practices, and after she’d drive you home. She’d go in your room with you, and the two of you would study together. Since she lived just next door, she wouldn’t even bother going home most of the time and would just sleepover with you.
It was another day just like that. You stayed after school to watch Caitlin’s practice, a particularly hard one at that, and watched as Caitlin slowly got more and more upset at the shots she was missing. Each time she missed, she huffed and looked away from you. She was embarrassed to be missing this much. After practice, her overall mood was still pretty low. She grabbed her bag and your arm and pulled you directly outside and to her car, not staying and chatting with her teammates for a couple minutes like she usually did. She sighed as she got into the drivers seat and banged her head on the steering wheel.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You could tell she seemed like she wanted to cry. You looked up at her face and saw her eyes were glassy. “Cait, there’s nothing wrong with you!” You reached up to wipe her tears and you pulled her upper body to you and she stretched over the console. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but you had hoped it would pose as some sort of comfort for the poor girl. “You are amazing and I love watching you play! Trust me, someday everyone’s gonna know who Caitlin Clark is” Caitlin chuckled and looked up at you from her head’s place on your shoulder. She admired how sweet you always were to her, you never yelled at her or made fun of her for crying like she knew her coaches or teammates could have done. You had always been her safe place, her place to run to whenever she was upset and needed comfort you. She saw comfort and you as synonymous. But lately, things seemed different. Had you been more sweet lately? Had you gotten prettier? Funnier? Caitlin wasn’t sure what it was, but now she had constantly felt a surge of emotion whenever she was around it. It was addicting to her, and she couldn’t get enough of it. It took over her mind and her thoughts so much to the point that she almost forgot how upset she was over her bad practice.
“Cait? Is everything ok?” You looked down at her.
“Everything’s perfect now. Thank you Y/n.” Caitlin smiled at you and resisted every urge not to kiss your lips that seemed to be taunting her.
Fast forward to summer, you and Caitlin had both committed to Iowa. Her for basketball and you for Caitlin. Your actual major was not Caitlin, but instead psychology. You could’ve studied it anywhere, so why not alongside your lover best friend? The two of you got a little apartment together, and you were somewhat happy.
You’d gotten what you wanted; to be with Caitlin. So why was it so painful for you to be around her now? Why did she feel so close and yet so far away all at the same time. You wondered if you could stay happy simply playing house with Caitlin, never making a move, but you knew that wasn’t the case. It was eating you alive.
Sure, she could feel the same. But what if she didn’t? What if she didn’t even like girls like that? Or worse. What if she did like girls and she just didn’t like you. That would be an even harder pill to swallow. You had always admired Caitlin’s ambitious spirit. For as long as you’d known her, she always worked hard to get what she wanted. Surely you could do the same and take of leap of faith for her.
Tears filled your eyes as the thoughts of possible rejection entered your mind. They encapsulated you so much that you didn’t even notice Caitlin walk in. She saw you on the couch curled up in a ball and was instantly confused. ‘Why hadn’t you called her and told her you were upset?’ She wondered to herself. She knows she would’ve came to see you at the drop of a hat.
“Y/n. Y/n, what’s wrong? Talk to me, it’s going to be okay. Come here, baby.” ‘Shit.’ Caitlin thought to herself. Had she really just called her best friend baby? Sure you were a little baby in her eyes, but you weren’t her baby.
“You’re my best friend, Caitlin. You’re my best friend and I’m so scared.” Caitlin immediately read you like a book. Was this you being the bravest girl in the world and breaking the invisible line of attraction that had been drawn between the two of you.
“Y/n. Shhhh. I love you. I love you so much you’ve gotta be my soulmate. I know it’s scary for us to admit it but honestly there’s nobody I would rather risk anything for.”
Your tears quickly dried and you wiped your nose. You saw Caitlin pouring her heart out to you and knew you had her in the palm of your hand. “Ohhhh. That’s great and all Cait, but I meant I was scared for my chem final coming up.”
The look on Caitlin’s face was priceless. “Fuck.” was all she could muster and stared blankly at the wall, contemplating every life decision. You started cackling uncontrollably, “Oh my god, Caitlin! I’m joking!” All she could do was scowl at you, then she got a bright idea herself. “Really? Prove it then.” You rolled your eyes at her, “Gladly,” and you pulled her in for a sweet kiss. It was soft and supple and you never wanted it to end; this kiss had to be like 18 years in the making. That first kiss, that was when you made the promise to yourself that now that you had Caitlin you wouldn’t let anything come between the two of you. She was yours, and you were hers. That was how it was meant to be, no matter the season of life you were in. You would always have Caitlin.
187 notes · View notes
be-missed · 7 months
Text
Cool About It
Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader
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Summary: Jenna and Y/N are life-long best friends, but can Y/N still stand and hide her feelings after Jenna pulled a prank on her?
Warning/s: curse words, notify me if there are any.
A/N: Hi, hope this can be a good substitute for Chap 4 of Not Strong Enough. Enjoy! (clearing things out, this is not the Chapter 4 for Not Strong Enough, this is just a substitute story for you all, so that you have something to read while waiting for the Chapter 4 for Not Strong Enough.)
Masterlist
Nothing To Lose (Part 2) | Bad for Business (Part 3)
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"Come on it'll be fun, we can walk around the park and then ride the boat." Jenna explained while lying down in Y/N's bed and scrolling through her phone.
Y/N looked at her with a questioning look and said "Isn't that a bad idea? Because people might hover over us and people will just follow us and that is something that my anxiety can't handle."
"Noooo, pleaseee. This is a good idea, it's a Thursday afternoon, nobody or only least people will be at the park." Jenna answered, pouting.
"Jenna, stop." Y/N said with a smile on her face "You know it's hard for me when you do that."
Ans Jenna just smiled because she knows that Y/N is so close to going "Pleeaasseeee, pretty pleaseeee. I'll buy you an ice cream." Jenna proposed.
"Hmm, you think an ice cream can make me agree with your plan, huh?" Y/N answered.
"Yes, I know that you will agree to me sooner. Just imagine us binding after such a long time of not seeing each other. Also, may I remind you that I'll be leaving the country in December to film for Wednesday so this is a great time to spend with me before we get situated again in face time." Jenna is now showing Y/N a sad face.
Jenna's statement made Y/N wonder, that yes, it is true that Jenna's break will be over soon, meaning that she will be receiving a call or a message from Jenna during ungodly times which, she diligently answers, whether it may be a call or a message.
Y/N sighs and Jenna knows that y/N will now agree with her plan. But before Y/N agrees, Jenna started to jump in Y/N's bed and smiles at Y/N.
"You know me so fucking well Jenna Marie Ortega." Y/N said while scratching her brow "Yes, sure we'll go to the park."
And then Jenna went ot hug Y/N and delivers ton of kisses on Y/N's face.
Y/N thought, "Fucking hell, how can I disagree with this girl. If she tells me to jump on a tall something, I would even do some back flips. She wants me to run around New York City? I would do it with my tits out. She want me to marry her and be the mother of her children? I will for sure do that without a doubt. The last part, is a false hope. I know Jenna isn't into me since the first time that I met her."
"Okay, collect your things and get dressed, we're going to Central Park." Y/N said and taps Jenna's crown and smiled at her like a cute puppy.
Even if Jenna and Y/N are together, they will literally wear the headphones that they bought for each other, just to drown out their environment. But even the noise cancelling headphone can't stop them to communicate with each other. After knowing each other so well for years, they don't need to communicate verbally.
While walking, Y/N then got lost again with her own thoughts. She feels that Jenna knows that she likes her more than a best friend should have for quite some time now. That is why in the past few months, Y/N has been getting a lot more "busier" when it comes to Jenna. She tries so hard to detach herself from the girl. If Jenna won't be kind enough to be cruel about it and just reject her, then Y/N will try to be cool about it even though it's probably not even true.
Arriving at Central Park, the two girls started to walk nonchalantly, going where their feet take them, not caring about the people that took notice of them.
They sometime give snacks to the pigeons or the ducks that they passed by, try to pet the dog that was sitting beside their owner. Taking a look at thier surroundings, both of them realised that a lot from the park changed, the becnhes that were once there, the trees thatvwere cut out and displaced by another plant, and the rusts on the bench that they always pass by.
Y/N was walking not until Jenna stopped by the row boat rentals and Y/N just moved her head from side to side "Nuh uh, Jenna. We won't and we can't." Y/N said.
"But why? We used to ride the boats and just row around, pretending to be a part of a rowing team." Jenna stated pulling at Y/N's sleeve.
"Jen, that was before." Y/N reasoned.
Jenna looked sad "Do you not want to be seen with me? Is that it?"
That was the last thing that Y/N wants Jenna to think of because it is not true.
"No, absolutely not. I just think that..." Y/N said not knowing any reason on why not to ride the boat.
"See you have no reasons to not ride it. So please let's ride the boat." Jenna said, and with that they got a boat, just the two of them and started to row.
Many people are also in their own boat, talking, playing, laughing and admired their surroundings. Also, Y/N and Jenna's boat didn't get unnoticed by the people in the park or inside the boat. People were waving at them and calling Jenna's name. Jenna waved back or replied to them but her focus was still focused on you, not until you hear Jenna coughed.
Many boats surrounds you as this is where one of the good spots for a picture. It means that many people also surrounds you and can literally hear each other.
"Mhmm, Y/N, I don’t know where to start..." Jenna said with a smirk ok her face and Y/N didn't know what's going on, Jenna then continued "We have known each other for a lot of years, we have been with each other through our ups and downs and we are still here." Jenna then secretly took the ring from her pointer finger and present it in front of you.
Now. Now Y/N is so baffled with what is Jenna doing, people started to look at them and paid attention to what is happening inside their boat. Even the people who are in land started to stop and watch the scene unfolding in front of them.
"I have loved you ever since I met you and I want to love you 'till the day I die. I just want to ask if, will you marry me?" Jenna got up from her seat and started to kneel with her right knee.
Y/N's thoughts are all over. Why is Jenna fucking doing this? Is this her way to fucking play with her feelings? Is this all a joke to Jenna? She wants Jenna to be cruel about it and just reject her but not this way, Y/N will try her best to be cool about it even if it's not, but this stunt? Y/N didn't know if she can still see Jenna and not say some hurtful things towards the girl.
Everyone around them started to cheer and fished their phone out to capture this moment, because hell, Jenna Ortega is proposing. Flashing of lights where delivered from each phone that is hanging out, hollers and congratulations can be heard in different directions, claps can be heard everywhere and that triggered Y/N.
It was so loud around her, and why the fuck is Jenna proposing to her.
"Jenna I need to get out." Y/N said.
"What do you mean?" Jenna started to see the panic in Y/N's eyes.
"Fuck Jenna I need to get out of here" Y/N stated and started to row the boat in a faster pace that forced Jenna to take a seat.
As the boat started to get near the dock, Y/N didn't gave Jenna a time to talk and bolted away. Away from the girl, away from the people, and away from the world.
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Many hours has passed but Jenna can't still contact Y/N. Jenna even waited in front of Y/N's front door for hours but there were no signs of her best friend.
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A/N: Hoped this is good enough. Thoughts and comments are open, thanks for reading!
Nothing To Lose (part 2)
474 notes · View notes
starcursedluvrs · 1 month
Text
"TALK"
I suguru x pregnant!reader
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“And I’d be the immediate  Forgiveness  In Eurydice.  Imagine being loved by me.” 
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part I of suguru x pregnant!reader (this isn’t completely canon compliant, and will probs be 3 or 4 parts and will go up to December 24th, 2017 on the current JJK timeline).  
summary: you loved suguru more than anything in this world. and you could argue he felt the same for you. actually, he would end the world for you. so, he took you with him the night he defected, and you happily obliged. however, in the midst of the chaos of leaving your life behind, two little lines appear on a certain test causing you to rethink your entire plan. 
A/N: heyyy!! i'm arden!! this is my first try at ever posting the fanfic I’ve written so please enjoy! I started this specific fic as a hobby back in December, and I finished it a little over a month ago (I’ve just been kinda nervy to post hehe) so here goes nothing! likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated <3
MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. 
warnings!: SPOILERS FOR GOJO’S PAST ARC. THIS IS A PREGNANCY FIC! 18+. nsfw. f!reader. suguru and reader are over the age of 18. explicit sexual content. unprotected sex/oral (f!receiving). breeding kink. fingering. creampie. pregnancy. unplanned pregnancy. lactation kink. mentions of child abuse. cute domestic fluff hehe. 
wc: 14.5k
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September 2007 
4:27 PM (16:27)
“Wait…so what are we doing again?” you asked, riding atop one of Suguru’s many curses. You were straddling the pink alien-looking curse, legs dangling off either  side. One of Suguru’s large hands held your waist steady while the other controlled the motion of the cursed spirit. His chin was buried in the crook of your neck, so that he had easy access to press kisses into your skin. 
Suguru left a line of sweet pecks down your shoulder before answering. 
“This village in the sticks was reported to have kidnappings and abnormal deaths. Shouldn’t be anything unusual,” he said nonchalantly. 
You leaned back against him so that you could look up into his honey irises, pouting. His hand left your waist, moving comfortably behind him to support both of your weight. 
“Then why did you ask me to come along? Seems like you could handle it yourself, you’re a special grade. I’m only a semi grade-one,” you reasoned, reaching up to play with his stray bangs. He grabbed your hand before you could reach his neat, inky bun, pressing light kisses into your knuckles. 
“Well, if all goes well, maybe we can find a hotel or do something nice. Charge it to the school and say it took longer than we expected, so we get to stay somewhere overnight without waking Satoru,” Suguru replied, smirking a bit on the last line of his speech. 
“I like the way you think, my love,” you beamed, melting into his touch. 
… 
January 2007 
You and Suguru had been in a committed relationship for the past nine months, and friends for even longer.  You started secretly fucking around at the beginning of your third year at Jujutsu High. You had always been attracted to him, but given your tiny class size and the complexity of Jujutsu Society, you didn’t want to cause any drama or make things weird between you two. 
Well, life doesn’t always go to plan. 
Especially that one night at the beginning of your third year when you, Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru broke into Yaga’s liquor cabinet, stole two bottles of sake, and got a little handsy. With your judgment impaired, you might have let it slip that you thought Suguru was very attractive and often wondered how his sculpted body would feel beneath his Bontan pants and uniform shirt. The thought was reciprocated by the raven head. 
One thing led to another, and the next morning, you woke up in a tangled mess of inky black hair and bedsheets. Suguru just held you, keeping your body close to his, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. It was nice, you did not have to say anything to fill the comfortable silence that had fallen upon you two. 
Eventually, he placed a kiss on your forehead and started to pull his clothes on from the previous night. 
Last night. Was last night a mistake? 
Should you have let Suguru taken you out to dinner or something before he fucked you into tomorrow? 
“Wait…Sug hold on.
What does this mean? 
For us? Our friendship?” you asked in a panic before Suguru reached the door. 
“It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to,” he replied in his calm, collected tone, looking at the floor with his back to you. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you sat up, still covered by the soft sheets, pulling your knees into your chest, slightly offended. 
“Just that we don’t have to make a big deal out of this if we don’t want to. We also don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to. I know this could complicate things if we keep at it,” he paced around to face you again, the distance still rather daunting.
“Okay.” 
“Cool.”
The comfortable silence from before slowly turned awkward. 
“Um…thanks,” you offer. 
“…for…what?” Suguru inquired. 
“Last night. It was…fun,” you flashed him an unsure smile. 
A deep rumble came from his chest as he chuckled, “Yeah, let’s see how much fun you have walking today. See ya in class,” before leaving the room.
“SUG-“ you called after him, blushing at the cheesy line as he left the room, disappearing back into the cocoon of sheets. 
March, 2007 
You tried to keep your distance from him. Being a child of the Kamo clan, you were probably destined to be forced into some relationship that benefitted Jujutsu society, and not your happiness. This was just one of the many things that you hated about Jujutsu Society. Therefore, Suguru was all that more enticing to you. 
You found yourself perched on Suguru’s desk the next week. Your legs were spread wide, held apart by his large hands to assure you didn’t squirm around too much and get away from him. Suguru was lapping at your folds like a man starved. He dragged his tongue up and down your slit, and worked his way up to your clit, giving it a little kiss and suck. 
“Ngh Suguru. More.” You moaned, bucking your hips up to his face. 
“That’s not how we ask,” he replied, pulling away. 
“Suguru. Please.”
“What happened to complete sentences?” Suguru pressed one of his large thumbs to your nub, holding pressure, but refrained from moving it. 
“Fuck YOU Suguru I-“ 
“That’s what I’m trying to do, doll. You’re just not behaving.” 
He started to swirl his thumb around gently. It wasn’t enough to make you cum, but the pleasure was still intense. 
“Suguru please, I need som-something inside. Fingers. Yours. Please.” You croaked out, your head going dizzy with pleasure. 
“Awww, what’s wrong? Can’t think straight?” He said, plunging his slickened digits, adorned with a few silver rings, right into your core. 
“At least you said please, so I guess I’ll let you cum this time,” Suguru voiced in that smooth, sultry voice of his. 
He started moving those two digits back and forth in a “come here” motion, not giving you a chance to adjust to their circumference. A lewd squelching noise filled the room as he continued his ministrations. “You’re being such a good girl for me, taking my rings and fingers so well. Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” 
You let out a loud moan, and Suguru immediately pushed his thumb in your mouth for you to suck on. That way, you wouldn’t draw attention to any unwelcome visitors who might be walking the halls of the school. 
“You don’t even have to answer with that pretty mouth, your body is answering for you. You’re so tight. Gods, you’re gorgeous.” he whispered into your ear. 
He put his mouth back on your clit to suck, and added a third finger. He kept thrusting it in and out, hitting that sweet spot that had you seeing stars, as if he had your g-spot memorized. 
If Sugru ended up drowning in your juices, he would die a happy man. He absolutely loved lapping up at your sweet pussy, the earthy scent intoxicating to him. 
Soon, you felt the familiar coil in the depths of your belly start to come undone, and your cunt fluttered around Suguru’s fingers, the stimulation becoming too much.
“Come apart f’me. I got you love. I got you. Cum f’me,” Suguru commanded in his pussy-drunk haze. 
You let go as your orgasm washed over you, relishing in the pure bliss as Suguru helped you through the aftershocks. When you came to, he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You could still taste your essence on his tongue. 
The next night, you were folded over the same desk as he pounded into you with his fat length. The bathroom stalls. The pantry. Behind the bleachers at the field. You could not get enough of each other. 
You and Suguru both fell hard and fast for each other. His unwavering sense of morality, intelligence, and kindness towards others drew you even further into his grasp. The way he spoke, his scent of freshly done laundry, his loyalty to his friends; these were all things that you loved about Suguru Geto. He was one of a kind. 
As Jujutsu Sorcerers, you were well aware that your tomorrow was not guaranteed. Suguru made you feel alive, which, to you, was worth more than any amount of fame or glory that your clan could bestow upon you. He truly wanted to make the world a better place for you, and any future you might have together. On the third month of your official relationship, you confessed your love: 
“Suguruuuu,” you giggled as he kissed up your neck. 
You had been laying in Suguru’s bed, in the midst of a heated makeout session. Your back was pressed flat into the mattress, knees at an angle, and feet flat against the soft duvet. Suguru was positioned right on top of you, in between your knees. He held your face in both of his hands, and your arms clung to the back of his head, getting lost in the inky strands. 
“I love you.” He whispered, as if he was telling a secret. 
In lieu of an answer, you brought his head down into a deep, passionate kiss. Your tongues danced together for what seemed like forever and no time at all, until you broke the kiss and said, “I think I may love you more.” 
“Unfortunately, doll, that’s simply not true. I’d end the world for you.” 
You were hopelessly in love with Suguru Geto.    
May 2007 
“You have a list of baby names picked out? Dude you’ve been together for like a few months.” Shoko taunted, a cigarette tucked between her lips, clicking away on her silver flip phone. 
“Oh, come on Ieiri, I think every person has a baby name list.”
“I don’t.” Shoko deadpanned. 
“You’re a lesbian who has no desire for kids,” you shot back.
“Touché. I do have a cat name list, though, if that counts,” Shoko added.
“I think it does.” you replied. 
“Ugh, fineee, gimme the list,” said Shoko, already grabbing the journal out of your hand. After scanning through the list of names, Shoko looked up at you and burst into laughter.
“Ok, you cannot name your kid Shigure. Or Kyo. Or any character from Fruits Bask-“
“Yo, WHO’S having a kid” interrupted the lanky, white-haired person with blacked-out sunglasses and a mischievous smile. Suguru appeared next to Satoru, holding a basketball, running to kiss you hello. 
“NO ONE’S having a kid,” you replied. 
“Ok, wait I need to know, do either of you have baby name lists? I feel like every person has them.” 
Satoru sighed, and thought about the question for a second. Suguru sat on the ground and started rolling the basketball in the dirt. 
“I haven’t even thought about baby names. To be honest, kids are kinda hard to have when you’re a sorcerer. You have to go on missions and then come home and change diapers, no thanks. Like, what if it poops on you? Also, I kinda wanna spite the old geezers in my clan.” Satoru added.
“You raise an excellent point, Gojo. This is one of the reasons why I love being a lesbian. Less of a risk for accidents,” Shoko took a drag from her cigarette.
“I can’t be the ONLY person here who has a list,” you sighed. 
“Lemme see that-“ Satoru said as he grabbed your journal from Shoko’s grasp. 
“…These are just Fruits Basket and One Piece charact-” Satoru snickered. 
“Wait Satoru, have you read the new One Piece chapter yet? I heard it’s crazy.” Suguru cut in. 
“Oh, no not yet, I haven’t had a chance to get the new volume,” Satoru whined. 
“What are you doing right now? Wanna go pick up some coke from the vending machine, then get to that bookstore in Shinjuku and grab a copy?” Suguru explained with excitement. 
“Honestly, a coke sounds amazing right now. Either of you wanna come?” Satoru gestured to you and Shoko. 
“Nah, I think we’re gonna go steal some of Yaga’s booze,” Shoko informed. 
“Yeah, he’s on a mission for the next day or so. Might as well take advantage of it,” You said, a little defeated and disinterested. 
“…’kay see you guys later then.” Satoru said in a sing-songy voice. 
Suguru walked up to you, pressed a quick peck on your lips, and said, “I’ll be back. Love you.” 
But that wasn’t all.
Under his breath, so that no one else could hear, he whispered, “Don’t think this conversation is over yet, doll,” and walked away as if he hadn’t uttered anything. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you felt your cheeks go hot as he walked away. 
… 
Later the same day, May, 2007
You were sitting on Suguru’s lap as he twiddled on his PS3 controller playing one of his games. Suguru was sitting on the floor, his legs criss-crossed while you leaned against his back, feeling his warmth though his clothing. You were sporting one of his large white t-shirts, wearing only your favorite pair of panties underneath. 
“Sug?” You question softly, turning around to face him. 
“Yeah, doll?” He replied not looking down from his game. 
“So…about that comment earlier. Why did you say the conversation wasn’t finished yet? And which one? About the One Piece chapter? Or the baby names? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable asking that question, I was ju-“
Suguru paused his game and looked at you, a smirk on his face. 
“It did the opposite of making me uncomfortable, actually. It made me feel a little more normal, or as normal as we can be given our lifestyle. I have a baby name list too.” 
Your heart fluttered. Of course he did. 
“I saw the list over Satoru’s shoulder. And we actually had one name in common.”
“Which name?” 
“Riko.” He replied softly.
His answer made you happy and sad all at once. You wish you didn’t have that name on your list. Riko Amanai had meant so much to the both of you. She represented the freedom that you could have from Jujutsu Society, as well as everything that was broken and corrupt about it. Riko’s death is what radicalized the both of you. She set you both on a path to work towards a better world. 
For a moment, you thought about what your life would be with Suguru had you not been Jujutsu Sorcerers. You would probably get married as soon as you graduated, get a job somewhere. Buy a cozy house in the countryside. Make home cooked meals, have children, adopt some dogs. You would grow old together and not have to constantly worry about the fact that you could die a gruesome death in the morning. 
You were lying down on your side now, your back against Suguru’s chest. Suguru moved a hand under your shirt, to your stomach, slowly rubbing circles, drawing you out of your trance. 
“I love your tummy, it’s so cute” Suguru sighed into your ear. 
You giggled.
“What’s so funny about that, love?”
“I’m sorry that just sounded so funny in the moment.” 
“I don’t think it’s that funny, especially when my baby’s gonna be in there one day.”
He said it so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly that you thought you had misheard him. You blushed, hoping you didn’t mishear. 
“SUG-“ you turned around and gave a playful slap to his arm. 
After a pause of giggling from the both of you, Suguru just couldn’t let the topic get away from you. 
“Ya know, I think about it a lot,” he continued. 
“Think about what,” you questioned.
“Think about what our future would be like. A house that is actually full of love. And little feet running around.” 
“Tell me more,” you said against his lips. 
“Maybe we’d live in a really remote village away from everything Jujutsu related. We could get a little farm, raise some sheep, horses, chickens, crops. We could add to the world instead of just taking.” 
“Why do we have to wait for the future to do that? Money isn’t the issue here,” You answered, referring to the handsome compensation you receive for such a risky career path. 
“True, I could just fuck a baby into you right now.” 
“I was talking about the house, and you knew that.” You shot back, a laugh escaping your chest at an attempt to be serious. 
“That’s another thing I think about.” 
“What?” You were taunting him now. You wanted to see where this was going.
“You, your tummy all round with my baby. God, you look so good when you’re stuffed full f’me,” Suguru slurred. From the dim light of his paused video game, you could see that his pupils were blown with lust. He kissed you hard and messily, tongue intertwining with yours.
Suguru removed your (his) shirt and started to kiss down your body, landing at your breasts, hovering right over a nipple. 
“These would look so good with milk. So pretty and soft,” he purred, taking a nipple into his mouth. 
The warmth of his mouth felt so good against your pebbled nipples, you couldn’t help but let out a moan. He licked and sucked until you were a drooling, wet mess underneath him. 
“You like this, huh. Baby, I’ve barely touched you. And you’re already this worked up?” He taunted, moving to give attention to the neglected nipple. 
“What else?” you slurred, ignoring his question. He still hadn’t admitted it.
“Everyone would know who you belonged to. All because of me.” He continued, releasing the nipple from his mouth. 
His words sent shivers down your spine, and you felt your arousal start to pool uncomfortably in your underwear. You needed them off. 
“Suguru, what do you want?” you asked the obvious question, just wanting to hear him speak more on the topic. 
“I wanna stuff your pretty cunt full of cum ‘till you can’t take any more, doll,” he grumbled, grinding his impressive erection on your clothed cunt. 
“Wanna get you pregnant so bad,” he continued pressing feverish kisses down the length of your body. “You’ve been asking a lot of questions about what I want.” He made his way to your panties, “But, before I take these off, I need to know what you want.”
Your hole was clenching around nothing at his words, you were getting rather impatient. 
“Please touch me.” You whined. 
“Hmm, I have been touching you my love,” 
“Sugu- stop t-teasin-nghhh.” you moaned as one of his thick fingers started moving in a circular motion on your bud. Soon, one finger became two, and he moved them from your clit to your slick folds, swirling the juices around, occasionally ghosting your eager cunt. 
“Suguru gimme your dick,” you begged. 
“Baby, one, you can ask nicer than that, where are your manners? And two, I have to get you ready to take me first. Gotta make sure I can fit the most amount of cum in there as possible,” he let out a small moan on the last word. 
“Open your mouth, doll,” he commanded. 
You complied, opening your mouth as he stuck his two slickened fingers in, pushing them as far back as they could go. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a dark stain forming on his gray sweatpants. He must have been impossibly hard. 
Your moans and gasps vibrated against his digits, and when he thought you had been teased enough, he finally offered you the sweet relief of his fingers filling you. Definitely not as large as his cock, but they reached the parts of you that you could not with your own hands. Suguru started thrusting in and out, curling his fingers along the way, hitting your g-spot with brutal precision.
“Sug-nghhh, I’m gonna-” 
“Shhh baby, you can let go for me, I got you. So good f’me.” 
With the thumb of his hand, he lightly stroked your clit, and you felt the familiar heat bubbling in your core. After a few more thrusts, and praises from Suguru, you were cumming all over his fingers. He helped you through your orgasm, your head full of wool as you came down from your high. Suguru brought his drenched appendages to his mouth and sucked, cleaning your fluids from his fingers.
“If only curses tasted this good. I can’t get enough of you.”
In your post-orgasm clarity, you realized that your boyfriend was still clothed. That wouldn’t do. You sit up, rummaging through sticky sweats and underwear to pull his dick out. A long strand of precum dripped from his tip, breaking away as you pulled him out of his boxers. His penis would never fail to surprise you; he was of average length, but so thick, you could barely close your hand around him. You wrapped two hands around his cock as your mouth watered at the beautiful sight before you. But, just as you were about to taste him, two of his strong hands pushed you back against the bed, forcing you off of his dick. 
“What was that for? I wanna suck you off,” you pouted.
“Sorry, doll. We can’t waste any cum,” he said as his nose ghosted against yours. 
“But I just wanted to make sure, you never said it out loud. Do you actually want this? Can I actually get you pregnant? Don’t wanna pressure you if it was just a kink.” He looked into your eyes with concern, needing your verbal confirmation to continue. 
“Suguru. Put a baby in me.” 
You think you broke your boyfriend after saying that. He let out a grunt from deep within his chest and grabbed a pillow from the pile that fell off the bed in during your earlier activities. He placed the pillow underneath your lower back and whispered choruses of “I love you,” on your skin. Suguru’s fingertips traced over your skin, eventually grasping your legs, throwing them over his shoulders. 
“I don’t deserve you, doll.” He pressed a quick kiss to your nose. 
“This is called a mating press,” Suguru explained as he grabbed his cock and lined up with your twitching hole. “I did some research as to what position would get you pregnant the fastest, and I think this one has a good success rate.”  He sounded so methodical in his explanation, which was so in character for him. Of course your Suguru would do research into this. He would do anything for you to make you happy. And you would do the same for him. 
When he pushes the head in, you both gasp at the contact. He kept sliding in until his balls slapped against your ass and your pelvic bones met. There was such little resistance, and you let out a sob as he bottomed out. 
“You ok, baby? You’re taking me like such a-a, nghhh- good girl. Feels like heaven in your pussy. My pussy.” It was so attractive when he got possessive over you, your ovaries felt like they were about to burst in more ways than one. 
“Sugu- ngh- move-“ 
Instead of moving, he licked the inside of your upper thigh, dragging his tongue impossibly slow to tease you. 
“NGH- plea-ahhh please,” you could feel tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. He made it so easy for you to fall apart. 
“Good girl, look at you using your words,” he sounded wrecked, his voice gravely with arousal. And with that, he began moving. At first, his thrusts were slow and deep; you could feel every vein and ridge on his dick. His balls slapped against the fat of your ass, creating an embarrassingly loud clapping sound that bounced off of the walls. It felt delicious. 
You weren’t just having sex - he was making love to you. It was emotional and sensual. The tears you felt earlier spilled over on to your cheeks as Suguru picked up the pace, his cock pistoning in and out. He kissed your tears away as you muttered broken moans of both his name and explicits. 
Suguru’s grip was surely going to leave bruises in the morning. One hand was holding your body in place around your waist, while the other kept your leg over his shoulder. He let go of your leg for a moment as he grabbed another pillow that was somewhere in reach, and gently slid it under your hips so that he could reach you at a deeper angle. Your vision went blurry. He was impossibly deep, you thought you could feel him rearranging your intestines. 
Finally, his thrusts started getting sloppier. You knew Suguru was close. 
“Gonna fuck my baby into you,” he half moaned. “Fuck, love, I’m close. Want ya to let go first,” and with that, he moved his possessive, bruising touch to rub your clit. After a few rotations around your nub, you let go, your vision going white as you came hard, your cunt clamping down on his cock.
The vice grip of your pussy is what finally sent him over the edge, and Suguru began to fill you up with his thick load. 
“Thank you, baby, thank you,” Suguru chanted, like it was a prayer, and you were the goddess who was receiving his offering. You laid like that for a while, him still inside, your hips tilted up to keep his cum inside of you. He left a trail of kisses down your sweat-drenched neck as his cock softened in your walls. 
After about fifteen minutes, you felt Suguru starting to fill out again, his body gearing up for round two. 
And then three.
And then four. 
You lost count of how many times you had cum that night. Your tummy sported a small bump with the amount of Suguru’s seed trapped in your womb. You were so full that you couldn’t possibly take any more. And Suguru loved you like that. 
Of course, he loved you always, but this was different. He took one of his large hands and gently massaged your sore, slightly swollen belly, pressing wet kisses all around. 
“I hope our baby looks like you,” you whispered into the crown of his head. 
“I was just thinking the same thing. I hope our baby at least has your eyes. I get lost in them sometimes,” he responded. “Ya know, your eyes are probably my favorite part of you, besides your tummy. And your beautiful brain. And every other part of you.” 
“I love you so much, Suguru. I don’t think I can put it into words. You’re such a good man, so good to me. You’re gonna be the best dad one day,” you confessed.
“Hopefully, that day will be soon,” he smirked, “I’m gonna go get you water and a hot washcloth to clean you up. Want anything to eat?” 
You smiled back at him and shook your head, blowing a kiss to him before he left. 
You expected yourself to be more freaked out by his comment, “hopefully, that day will be soon,” but you couldn’t help but feel excited. Life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer was so unexpected, you never knew when a mission was going to be your last. You decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have a little mini Suguru running around, allowing the three of you to finally have the family that neither you nor Suguru ever did. 
… 
August 2007
It was a disgustingly hot day outside. You were so sweaty, you felt your clothes sticking to you, and the humidity felt as if you were walking through a sauna. 
Since it was so unbearably hot outside, you and Suguru decided it would be a nice day to go to a water park. Of course, that meant Satoru and Shoko had to tag along. 
You and Suguru were in charge of packing, as the other two would not have chosen enough food or towels for your journey. They would probably also forget things like sunscreen and umbrellas, opting to fill your beach bags with bottles of booze and sweets. You and Suguru were practically the parents of the friend group at this point; sometimes the other two would even refer to you as “mom and dad.” Suguru would give you a smirk any time this happened, reminding you of the conversation you had back in May. 
After you fought Satoru on the fact that he could not in fact take an entire box of ice cream mochi to the water park, you were set to leave on your adventure. The four of you and your bags all piled in the car of an assistant director. Excitement and easy conversation flowed through the vehicle, as all of you relished in the relief of the cool air conditioning. 
Shoko sat in the front, smoking a cigarette, choosing which CDs to play, while you sat in the back with Satoru and Suguru. Suguru, being the gentleman that he is, gave you the seat behind the driver’s side. You tried to resist, explaining that he and Satoru would have more leg room if you just sat in the middle, but Suguru insisted. 
The four of you finally arrived at the water park about an hour and a half later. 
Maybe this was a bad idea. 
As you walked through the wooden gates, the park was swarmed with families, teenagers, and college students. There were colorful slides entangled in each other at the center of the park, with a lazy river surrounding it. To the left, there was a wave pool with people attempting to surf, and to the right, there was another large pool with buckets of water that would dump on patrons randomly. The lounge chairs were spread throughout the park, and it seemed like the entirety of Japan had come to this one water park to beat the summer heat. 
“Ok guys let’s stay together and try to find some lounge chai-” 
“Shoko! I’m gonna beat you down those slides, ready?” Satoru screamed with glee, like a young child. 
“Hold on, lemme finish this,” Shoko replied, motioning to her cigarette. 
“NO! We. Are. Going. To. Sit. Down. Let’s just stay together, it’s a madhouse here,” You put your foot down. 
“If I wanted to be mothered, mother, I would have gone home for the summer,” Shoko rolled her eyes at you. You just ignored her, too bothered by the heat to even come up with a good comeback.
“I sent out a curse to go find us a spot - wait. Where’s Satoru?” Suguru chimed in.
“Let’s be logical about this. Where is the nearest ice cream stand?” You asked. 
“Ha, there he is,” Shoko nodded her head towards the nearest ice cream stand. In the line of children, there was one with white hair who was almost as tall as the stand itself. Bingo. 
You marched over to the line, and went to tug Satoru by his ear back to the group. Alas, his Infinity was on, and you could not touch him. 
“Oof, I would not wanna be him right now, that one has a temper,” Shoko joked, as she put her cigarette out over the trash can next to them, watching you and Satoru argue. In that moment, Suguru couldn’t help but stare at you, taking in how beautiful you looked against the summer sun. You were glowing, radiant, even as you berated his best friend. 
“I haven’t seen you look at someone the way you look at her.” Shoko broke Suguru’s thoughts, pulling him out of his trance. 
“Yeah.” Suguru responded, smiling. 
“Wow, you didn’t even try to deny it,” Shoko smirked back. “OOooo someone’s in looovee,” Shoko teased. 
“I am. And I’m so lucky. I love her more than anything in the world,” Suguru said with a content sigh. 
“Ok, now you’re just gonna make me vomit, that’s so sappy,” Shoko stuck out her tongue, making a fake gagging sound. 
“It’s true,” Suguru responded, still in his trance.
“What if I can treat her better than you,” Shoko teased. 
“Maybe,” he said, the slightest flicker of insecurity in his eyes. “I don’t think I deserve her sometimes. She’s not as tainted by curses and cursed energy as I am. She’s not the one who absorbs curses day after day.” He looked tired. Shoko noticed the bags under his eyes, but just as she was about to say something, you came running with Satoru’s wrist in your hand, pulling him with an ice cream cone in his hand. The ice cream was beginning to drip everywhere.
“I can’t believe they only had vanilla. What a ripoff,” Satoru sighed, annoyed. 
“You dumbass, you didn’t even get napkins!? How am I supposed to call you a functioning adult, you’re literally about to turn 19, and you didn’t even get napkins?!” You berated him again.
“Oh, looks like the curse found a place for us to sit. It’s keeping the area clear so non-sorcerers aren’t determined to sit there,” Suguru interrupted. 
You all walked towards a little spot in the shade with three lounge chairs and a table. You figured you would just share your lounge chair with Suguru and sit in his lap. Or he could use your lap as a pillow and you could braid his hair. Either worked. 
Just as you were setting out your towels on the chairs, you heard a PLOP and crying following after. A little kid had slipped and fallen down on the concrete. He used his hands to break the fall, and the skin of his palms were broken a little bit, blood splintering through the cracks. He started hysterically crying.
“Oh no, sweetie! Are you okay? Where is your grown up?” you rushed over to the kid. 
“I think I packed a first aid kit in the bag, let me get it,” Suguru added.
Of course he did, that man was prepared for the end of the world.
Suguru took an antiseptic wipe from the kit, and bent down so that he was at eye level with the kid. 
“This is probably going to sting, but it will feel better I promise. Your bathing suit is dope by the way, I love the colors,” Suguru cooed at the kid, trying to calm him down. 
“You remind me a lot of my little brother, his name is Noritoshi. He’s really brave. Are you brave like him?” you added. 
The child stopped his hysterics and let Suguru clean him up, listening to both of your kind words. He nodded his little head of pink hair at your question and pointed towards an elderly man slowly, but frantically making his way over to the kid.
“Yuji! What happened?” the old man asked.
“I falled and getted a boo-boo,” the kid, called Yuji, sniffled. 
“He slipped and hurt his hand, we have some antiseptic disinfectant and bandaids though, so we fixed him right up,” you told the man as he got closer.
“He was really brave,” Suguru added, smiling down at Yuji. 
“Thank you, so much. You two are very kind,” the man said in a monotone voice. Though his voice showed no emotion, his eyes did. His eyes looked tired, but definitely grateful to the kindness of you and Suguru. 
“Feel better, dude!” Suguru yelled to Yuji as his grandfather led him away. 
After about an hour of tanning on the lounges with Shoko, you looked to see where the boys went. It wasn’t very hard to spot the two best friends, as they were acting like children, making big waves in the lazy river. On Suguru’s shoulders, you noticed something: the kid with the pink hair from earlier. 
Suguru and Satoru were having some sort of chicken fight with him, all three of them laughing and having the time of their lives. 
“You are hopeless,” Shoko rolled her eyes, a new cigarette in between her lips. 
“What do you mean?” You replied. 
“Don’t play dumb, I know what you’re thinking,” she smirked back.
September 2007 
“Suguru, you look like you’ve lost weight, are you okay?” Satoru asked, as he twirled a pencil in midair with his Infinity technique. 
“Just tired,” Suguru responded. 
Over the past few weeks, Suguru had developed dark circles and bags under his eyes. He looked pale, and was often exhausted. Not too exhausted for you though, apparently. 
It seemed the two of you spent more and more time together holed up in one of your rooms when you weren’t on missions. It was just so nice in your own little world, away from everything. You didn’t have to care about who lived and who died. You only had to focus on each other. 
Satoru attempted to carry on the conversation. 
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” 
“You probably won’t see me for a while again.” 
“Yo, what’s that supposed to mean?” 
“I need to get out of here. Both of us do. We’re not fit for Jujutsu Society.” Suguru said, referring to the two of you. 
“Ha, ha, so funny.” Satoru sarcastically added. 
“It’s not a joke.” 
“What do you mean? Dude, you’re a special grade, you seriously think they’re gonna let you quit?” 
It was true. The elders wouldn’t just let Suguru run away and walk free. If he was not with Jujutsu society, he was probably against it. And letting a special grade sorcerer and his grade one partner roam free would pose a threat to the stability of the elder’s iron grip on the status quo of Jujutsu society. 
He’d have to get the elders to denounce and force you out. 
So, here you were, flying with the man who was your boyfriend, your one and only, on the back of a curse, headed out for a mission, and hopefully, some much needed seclusion with Suguru. 
… 
7:03 PM (19:03)
You and Suguru decided to split up for the mission. It had been reported that there was a sighting of two possible curse users and a separate cursed spirit. Thus, Suguru wanted to deal with the curse users, and you to deal with the curse itself. 
You exorcized the curse with ease, using piercing blood to slice the monster in half. There were a few other lower level curses, which you could have eliminated with your eyes closed. It seemed too easy. If Suguru was sent on this mission, there had to be something else, another factor. After a few minutes of patrolling for any other cursed energy residue, you decided to find your way back to Suguru. 
You found him standing outside of a small house on the outskirts of the village. He seemed out of it; he was staring right at the door, but did not enter. As you approached, you saw the strong cursed energy residue leading from the door. 
“Sug, I exorcized those curses. I know you hate the taste of swallowing them, I didn’t want to make you do that if you didn’t have to.” If Suguru heard you, he showed no acknowledgement. 
“Suguru?” You pinched the sleeve of his white collared shirt.
“Dude? Did you hear me?” You squeezed his thick bicep, pushing your manicured nails into his skin, effectively bringing him back from whatever plane of reality he was on. 
“The locals in the village told me this is the home of two little girls, twins. Their descriptions match the ones for the curse users. So…” He insinuated, leaving the rest for you to figure out. His amber eyes were dark and cold. 
“Oh.” You said. You and Suguru had both been through a lot and hated Jujutsu Society. You and Suguru had your incident with Amanai a little over a year earlier, and your uppity clan kept you from your mother, a heartbreaking decision by the family head in order to give you the best possible chance of becoming the leader of the clan. A position which you despised.
Over the past few months, in the afterglow of sex, you two would lay there, embraced in each other's arms, dreaming of a world without curses, without clans, without people to produce those curses. “Monkeys,” as Suguru referred to non-sorcerers, from which curses were created. In your and Suguru’s fantasy world, you wouldn’t even have a reason to use curse techniques. You could get married, have children, live a peaceful life without fear of a curse coming to take that happiness away.
The bottom line is you knew Jujutsu Society was unfair, but never would you think you would be asked to harm a child. What was wrong with these people? You thought of your little brother, Norotoshi, who was also six years old. He was supposed to be your “competition” for the title of family head, but you never really wanted to fight him. He was just your sweet little brother. 
How could you harm someone that is the same age as your little brother? 
A wave of nausea ran through your body as the reality of the situation dawned upon you. Suguru kneeled down on the floor with you, rubbing your back and holding your hair back as you vomited. 
“Shhh, I got you.” He wrapped you in an awkward embrace on the floor, and pressed a kiss to your sweat-sheened forehead. “It’s going to be okay. I have a plan.” Suguru’s entire demeanor changed in an instant. He smiled, but there was no emotion behind his eyes, and his voice sounded like it was coated in honey. 
His behavior was strange, but helped you to feel more at ease. Suguru gave you some hope to cling on to. 
… 
8:46 PM (20:46) 
You were both sitting on the stairs leading up to the front of the house. You were leaning on Suguru as he brushed a hand over your hair, occasionally placing a kiss on the top of your head. You had finally finished sobbing into Suguru’s chest after an hour, the teardrops staining through his white collared shirt. You felt so many emotions. Anger at the broken system. Hatred, for the Jujutsu Society elders. Confusion, for what would happen once you committed to your plan. Grief, for the people in your life that you would lose. Betrayal, from the society that was supposed to protect people. Suguru sat with you and validated your feelings, making you feel like you and your emotions were the only things in this world that matter. 
The plan was simple. You were both going to defect. 
Both you and Suguru were sick and tired of the way the world functioned. You were sick of watching comrades, comrades who were teenagers, who were children, die. 
During one of your late night conversations, Suguru once said, 
“If being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is like running a marathon…
What if what’s at the end of that road…
Is a mountain of our fellow sorcerers’ dead corpses.”
In that moment, Suguru had played it off as some dark joke, but part of you knew that he was right. 
As for the plan, you two were to wait until some of the elders of the village led you into the small house, as they apparently kept multiple locks on it to keep the supposed dangerous young girls at bay. Then, you were going to take the young sorcerers on the back of one of Suguru’s curses and run to Kyoto and find somewhere to stay for the night. Suguru said he would “take care of the rest.” You trusted him with your whole being, even if that meant him ending the lives of a few non-sorcerers. It would serve them right for causing the very existence of curses. 
9:01 PM (21:01)
The two elders from the village arrived shortly after. You took Suguru’s hand and shared a reassuring glance, his thumb rubbing gently over your hand as if to say, it’s going to be okay. Shaking with exhaustion, anxiety, and some of the nausea from earlier,  you slowly made your way up the stairs as the elders parted the shoji doors. The building seemed to be one long room with some sort of wooden cage at the end, almost like the house was made to hold animals at some point. 
The building was dimly lit, but you could see the outline of two small figures huddled together in the center of the wooden cage. Your stomach turned once again, and you tightly squeezed Suguru’s hand.
“What is this?” Suguru firmly questioned, his free hand going up to brush his bangs away. 
The two of you stepped closer to the makeshift prison, and the two small figures were shaking. As you made your way towards the children, they had obviously been beaten. They were covered in dry blood, scratches and bruises. They both had one black eye. 
How could these children, these SIX year olds, legally be kept like this? THESE were the scary curse users that were terrorizing this village? It was disgusting. 
“My grandchild was on the verge of death because of these two,” spit the woman who led you in.
“These two use strange powers and often attack the villagers.” defended the other man in your presence.
Suguru dropped your hand and squatted down to be at eye level with the girls, pinching his nose bridge between his pointer finger and thumb. 
“So you mean to tell me that you monkeys think that these little girls, these children are responsible for the incidents that have been occuring, is that correct?” Suguru grumbled, his voice icy and dangerous. 
“I already dealt with the cause of the incidents, they’re innocent children, what is wrong with you people,” you cried. You were full of rage, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 
One of the young girls, clutching a well-loved stuffed animal, bravely spoke up and declared, “We didn’t mean to hurt anyone on purpose, they were trying to-”
“SHUT UP YOU MONSTERS!” The elder woman screamed. 
“Your parents were the same. I knew we should have killed you when you were born,” the man added. 
“Exactly, twins are bad luck. We should have known better,” the elder woman snorted. 
Suguru looked down at the girls and whispered something that would not have been obvious to someone who did not know him as well as you did, “It’ll be okay.”
He started drawing a curse from his arsenal of cursed spirits, and gave you a nod. The signal to go ahead with the plan. 
That same silky smooth, almost frighteningly nice, voice that Suguru only used when he was especially angry. 
“Let’s step outside for a second, shall we?” Suguru tutted, producing the same pink cursed spirit you flew on to get to the village. He walked out the door with the two older adults and shot you a glance. 
I’d end the world for you. 
It was the same expression he bore when you confessed your love for each other, all of those months ago. 
The girls immediately stood up when they sighted the curse. They were terrified, understandably so. You moved towards the thick metal lock of the wooden cage and knelt down.
“Hey girls, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m here to help. You’re safe. I know it must seem so scary right now, but me and the other man you saw me with are going to get you out of here.”
You told them your name, and assured them that you were like them. Using your piercing blood to cut through the thick lock, you explained to them about your technique and talked to them about your little brother to keep them (and yourself) calm. 
As soon as the lock broke, the girls ran to you and hugged you tightly. They were shaking, crying, and clinging to your body. A series of thank you’s flooded from their mouths, and you kissed the top of their heads, attempting to dry their tears away. 
“The pink curse over here is going to take us to safety. Suguru, that man who’s talking to them, is also a sorcerer, and he’ll meet us wherever we get to.” you explained. 
You sat the girls on the curse side by side, and then climbed in back of them to make sure they did not fall. Using Supernova, you blasted a hole through the roof, and the cursed spirit started to levitate off of the ground. Quickly, you gained altitude and left the village behind. You covered the girls eyes as you looked back, just to see what was happening. The entrance to the house was ablaze and you could make out Suguru’s cursed spirits crawling throughout the village. 
Shit. Well, there wasn’t any turning back now. 
… 
The Next Morning
Overnight, you had flown the girls to a small hostel on the outskirts of Osaka. You purchased a small, private room for the three of you to stay in. 
As the sky turned from a deep purple to a ombré of orange and blue, nausea from the previous evening returned in full force. You held yourself over the toilet as you threw up what felt like your entire gut. You stayed like that until you heard four small feet walk into the bathroom behind you. 
With the light properly shining on them, you got to see how truly filthy they were. The girl, who called herself Mimiko, had short brown hair that was knotted, matted, and crinkled with dry blood. Her sister, Nanako, was not faring much better. Her blonde curls were also matted, and there was crusted blood left on her forehead. They both were covered from head to toe in bruises, had dark circles around their eyes, and seemed to be alarmingly skinny. 
“Um… are you okay?” Nanako asked. You took a deep breath, happy to focus on something other than your churning stomach for a moment. 
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think it’s just nerves.” You answered. 
“Let’s worry about you two, I’ll run you a bath, then we can go to the 7/11 across the way and pick up some food. Sound good?” You declared. 
Mimiko’s stomach rumbled. “I think your belly answered for you, Mimiko,” you chuckled softly. 
… 
While the girls bathed, you went down to the Lost and Found of the hostel and grabbed a few items that looked like they would fit the twins: some hoodies, leggings, and a skirt. You also fixed yourself up, washing the vomit out of your mouth and splashing your face with hot water from the sink. 
Once the girls looked decent enough to go outside without raising suspicion, the three of you ventured out to the 7/11 across the street. 
The smell of food was a welcome scent as you walked up and down the rows of food, snacks, and other items. You grabbed whatever you thought a few six year olds would like, and on your way to the cashier, something caught your eye. A row of 100 yen pregnancy tests and other feminine care products. Whether it be a metaphorical gut feeling or the actual nausea that had persisted for the last few days, something told you to purchase a stick to pee on, just in case.You snuck the test into the pile of items you and the girls were purchasing. 
When the three of you got to the hostel, the girls scarfed their food down, and you tried to take little nibbles and sips of water. You put the twins down for a nap. 
You tried your best not to think about Suguru. You didn’t know what to think of him anymore. The man you spoke to the previous night could not have been your boyfriend. The Suguru you knew would never kill without a point. He would never just murder an entire village of people. 
You hoped and prayed that you were wrong. That he didn’t actually harm anyone and just showed off his curses to teach the people of the village a lesson.
Wait.
What if he was killed? 
It was all so confusing. You loved Suguru. He’s the one person who seemed to have love for you, besides your younger brother. 
Noritoshi. A pang of guilt wracked through your frame, heightening the gurgling of your stomach. 
If he murdered those non-sorcerers…you would have been deemed an accomplice. 
 So…
What would he think? 
Your baby brother?
Would he be okay? 
He’s a boy with an inherited technique in the Kamo clan. But would people look out for him? Would they keep him from your mother as well? 
In your spiral of thoughts, you noticed the 7/11 bag on the counter and remembered the supplies you bought earlier that day. You grabbed it as quietly as possible, as to not wake the girls, and stepped into the bathroom, clutching the goods inside. Your hands were shaking from lack of food over the past day and a half, but as carefully as you could, you retrieved the pregnancy test from the bag. 
The box was small, but felt so heavy in your hand. 
Why not? It probably won’t be positive, you told yourself. 
Why do I have to convince myself it won’t be positive, you thought. 
You know what, it will get my brain off of Noritoshi and Suguru for a bit, you reasoned, pulling apart the tucked in top of the box. 
After you fully unwrapped it, you read the directions, and followed suit. You put the test in the cup on the sink of the bathroom, and walked out to see the clock in the room. You waited five minutes until the results developed. 
Wait…this was probably a bad idea.
What were you thinking? 
This was so stupid why would you go and do this in the first place? 
You needed to get some air, your chest felt tight. You felt the nausea creeping back again. 
Suguru, where are you? 
You grabbed a room key off of the counter and slowly walked out into the hallway, desperately trying to keep yourself from waking the girls. One of the first things that caught your eye in the hallway was a vending machine. 
Maybe some soda would help settle your stomach? 
You walked over to the machine and plucked a few coins from your pocket, listening to them clink through the slot. You selected a Ginger Ale and Coke, reasoning that if you didn’t drink it, Suguru would when he got back.
If he got back. 
No. You can’t think like that. 
You took as long as you could getting back to the room, stepping on every other square of the carpeted floors, trying to ground yourself back to reality somehow. You arrived at the door a few minutes later and opened the door. 
The windows in your room were wide open, allowing a little breeze to blow the curtains. You dropped both bottles of soda. 
You had locked the windows before leaving the room. You made sure of it. 
You panicked, running for the girls to make sure they were okay. Alas, they were sleeping soundly, no new scratches or blood on them. 
You turned your attention to the bathroom, where the door was closed and you heard some rustling. 
Slowly making your way towards the door, you lined up your piercing blood technique, in case you were about to be attacked. 
“Baby, is that you?” you heard from the other side of the door. 
“Suguru.” You didn’t know if you should be more frightened or relieved. 
Part of you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss the scratches and dried blood away from him. Other than that, he looked relatively unharmed. His usual neat bun was not apparent on the top of his head, instead he let his hair hang loose, his bangs tied up in a messy half-up-half-down. He was dressed in all black, a dark oversized crew neck and baggy black sweats. As insinuated by the dark bags under his eyes, he didn’t look like he had eaten or slept in the past day or two. 
“Whose blood is that? Yours? Or someone else’s.” 
“That’s one way to say hello.”
“Answer.” 
“Doll, what’s wrong?”
“Suguru, are you okay?”
“My love, I took care of everything. We’ll be safe for the next few days, alright. We just have to lay low for a little while.” 
“Suguru, answer me.” 
“Shhh, everything is okay, doll. Your body's working overtime right now, and the pregnancy hormones can’t be helping.”
What? 
You stared at him. No way. 
“That test is your’s, right?” he questioned, his face filled with concern. “It’s positive.” 
You stared at him, then at the test. It was. 
“I- I’m gonna be a dad,” Suguru’s face cracked into a sincere smile. 
He picked you up and spun you around, planting kisses all over your head and face. 
“And you’re gonna be a mom! To my baby. Our baby. You’re gonna be the best mommy, you're so good with kids.” 
You stayed silent; you were still processing everything that just happened. 
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he cradled your face gently in his hands. 
You stood frozen, thinking of words to say, but they never made it out of your mouth. Your vision went blurry with water, and the churning feeling you had been trying too hard to suppress returned to your stomach. You gagged, running over to the toilet. 
As you held yourself over the bowl, your body felt like it was trying to expel all of your organs out through your mouth. Suguru leapt to your side and held your hair back as you threw up, rubbing soothing circles into your back. 
“Shhh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out, this is just one of the best things that’s ever happened.” Suguru cooed. 
You took a deep breath and wiped any stray vomit from your lips with the back of your hand. 
As you hurled your guts out, you felt his large, warm hand, rubbing circles on the small of your back. The other of his hands went to hold your hair out of your face. 
You stayed like that for about an hour, just sitting there, pondering your impending motherhood. 
Mother. 
You were going to be a mother. 
It simultaneously freaked you out and surprised you. Suguru, the person you loved most in this world, actually got you pregnant. Of course he did. He always stuck to his word.
When that man was committed to something, he was going to have it. He was possessive, territorial even. That made him all the more dangerous, but it wasn’t him you were afraid of or for. You were afraid for the rest of the world. 
I’d end the world for you. 
His promise echoed in the back of your mind. 
“Sweetheart, it is going to be okay. I think I may have gotten too overexcited and freaked you out. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to, I’m here for whatever you need. But, thank you. Thank you for this precious gift.” 
It was a gift that forever linked the two of you together. 
… 
September 2007
You found her waiting on a bench in the center of Shinjuku, trying to find something in her pockets, probably a lighter for her cigarette. 
“Hey, need a light?” Suguru asked, offering out a lighter. 
“Hi,” you waved shyly. 
“If it isn’t the criminals, trolling girls who smoke?” Shoko replied
“Just testing our luck I guess, '' Suguru joked. 
“Mmhmm, well, I’ll go ahead and ask. Any chance the charges are fake?” 
“No, unfortunately not
“Then I’ll ask another question, why?” 
“To create a world of only Jujutsu Sorcerers,” 
“We don’t want anymore of our comrades to die,” you doubled down on Suguru’s point. 
“Ha, that doesn’t make sense, but whatever,” Shoko said, picking up her phone and dialing a number. Someone on the other line answered. 
“Hey, Gojo? 
Yeah, found ‘em. 
Shinjuku. 
No way, I don’t wanna get killed.” She said before quickly hanging up.
“Do you have the thing we talked about?” Suguru asked before walking towards the area his best friend was said to be.
“Yes, I’ve got her,” Shoko looked into his eyes, 
“Okay, I love you,” Suguru said, placing a kiss on your forehead and walking off. 
Shoko put her cigarette out. 
“Shoko I’m okay, just, um, okay how do I put this…” 
“Dude, spit it out, you're scaring me.” 
“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. 
“Shit.” the mousy brunette replied. 
 “No, it’s okay, really, I’m happy, we’re happy, just…scared - ” 
“Did you not use protection? You of all people? The mom friend? Well, now, I guess literal mom friend,” Shoko put her hands in her hair, scrunching it out of stress, “And you’re a fugitive! Both you and Geto have been sentenced to death by the elders. Jesus Christ Y/N, how the fuck are you going to raise a child as a fucking criminal.” 
“I’m sorry Shoko, I-I couldn’t,” your last word was muffled by the huge lump in your throat. You knew Shoko of all people would rip you a new one, but you didn’t expect it to hurt this much. Tears clouded your vision, and you were sobbing so violently, that you started to choke on the snot and water running down your face. People were staring. 
“Woah, dude. Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here now,” Shoko reached down to wipe some of the snot off of your face with the sleeve of her uniform. “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up, I have some supplies that I brought in my bag.” 
Shoko grabbed your hand and led you into the nearby metro station. You rushed past the crowds of people, until you made your way into the gate. Shoko kept leading you further underground until you reached a room that was sectioned off for mothers and infants. 
“Get inside, we shouldn’t be bothered in here for a while,” Shoko stated, her tone gentle. You walked in, and she locked the door behind you. 
The room was small, but cozy. There was an infant changing table to the right, and to the left, there was a small blue couch with a table next to it. There were a few blankets packaged in sanitary wrappers laying on the side of the couch, and the room was decorated with pastel flowers all around. You felt completely safe for the first time in a while. 
“Sit,” Shoko commanded. You complied and took a seat on the couch. 
“I got one of those portable ultrasound things from the infirmary. I don’t know why we have these things but, hey, it’s coming in handy.” 
“How did you know to bring an ultrasound kit with you?” you asked suspiciously. 
“Oh, Geto told me to bring one. So, I kind of already figured you were pregnant, or you had some kind of internal bleeding. But with the way he was being so secretive, I figured the former.” Shoko replied, fiddling with the machine. It looked like a tiny foldable computer, the probe attached to a wire that fed into the screen. 
She KNEW???
“If you knew, then why the fuck did you make me say it out loud?” you demanded. 
“Because I needed to be sure this wasn’t a trick or something to kill me,” she shot back, “If ya didn’t know, your boyfriend -” 
“Fiancé -” 
“Fiancé, whatever, killed an entire village of people.” 
“I know, but he did what he had to do. We’re trying to make the world a better place, a place without curses, so you don’t have to keep seeing people die.” You refuted. 
“I’m not talking to you about this right now, I’m here to make sure you and the fetus inside of you are okay. You chose your path, and I chose mine. I’m not trying to change your mind, what’s done is done. I don’t support what you two did, but you’re still my best friend. I’m here for you,” Shoko finished and scooched on the couch to give you a hug. You were crying again, fat tears streaming down your cheeks. 
After five minutes, you two finally parted, and Shoko reached into her bag to produce some supplies. She pulled out sanitizer, a bottle of gel, a pair of gloves, and a little blue cloth. Shoko sanitized her hands, and gave some to you as well. She then put the pair of gloves on and asked you to pull up your shirt to reveal your abdomen. Finally, she tucked the blue cloth into your pants, so that the gel would not get on it. 
“This might feel cold. I also don’t really know if I’m doing this 100% right, so, you should probably find someone with a medical degree and not just reverse curse technique to look at you,” Shoko added, the usual banter reappearing between you two. 
She squeezed some of the cold jelly-like substance on your abdomen. You winced at the uncomfortable feeling. Shoko took the end of the probe and started gently pushing it around on your stomach. After about a minute, something appeared on the little screen. 
Woah. 
That’s your kid. Your and Suguru’s baby. You started crying again. 
You loved them already, and only wished Suguru could have been here to see this. 
“Yeah, there’s a whole-ass kid in there,” Shoko confirmed.
“As opposed to a half-ass kid?” You joked. Shoko laughed. 
Next, Shoko reached into her bag, producing a thick textbook. She turned to a page that was marked by brightly-colored post-it notes. 
“Okay, based on this development textbook, you’re probably about 9 to 10 weeks along. Can you use your technique and give me a blood sample fast?” 
9 to 10 weeks. 
That’s a lot farther along than you thought. 
You took a deep breath. “Okay,” and slowly produced a handful of blood from your palm, dropping it with a PLOP into the test tube Shoko held out for you. 
“I’ll run a test on this once I get back to the infirmary at school, I just wanna check your hGC levels to make sure they’re good. But in the meantime, start taking these,” she produced yet another item from her bag. “They’re prenatal vitamins. Also, I know Geto has to have some connections somewhere with doctors. Have him find one for you. I can check on you once in a while, but not all the time or it will get suspicious. I love you, but I’m also an eighteen-year-old who doesn’t have a medical degree yet. I’ll leave first with Satoru to make sure there aren’t any sorcerers around so that you and Geto can escape. Stay safe and healthy, please,” 
“Safe and healthy, coming from the chainsmoker?” You joked. 
Shoko rolled her eyes as she gave you a final hug, exiting the room, leaving you alone with the bag of medical supplies and textbook. 
… 
Mid January, 2008 
As the months passed, you did not think it possible, yet you fell deeper in love with Suguru. He doted on you and the twins constantly, spoiling you with gifts, having his followers help construct a lavish living space for you in the back of the monastery. Mimiko and Nanako shared a large room, their western-style four poster beds were adorned with silks and all of the stuffed animals they could desire. They had large walk-in closets full of dress-up gowns and expensive designer brands.
“Only the best for my girls,” Suguru would say. 
As for you, he had a beautiful master suite built, the double walk-in closet filled with comfortable, yet elegant, maternity clothing and a California king bed dwarfing the rest of the room. The walls were painted white with navy and gold accents throughout the room. 
When he was not tending to his cult, Suguru also kept you close to him as much as possible. Sometimes, he would even have you sit with him as you both tended to his followers throughout the day, him consuming their curses and you collecting their money. 
Though he saw you as an equal, he was still overly protective and territorial of you now that you were carrying his child. He would sit you down on his lap in front of your followers, his hands caressing your now-evident baby bump, proclaiming to both you and the people in the cult that you were a goddess among mere mortals. When the monastery was empty, sometimes he would just sit and hold you, breathing in your scent. You would sit like that for an hour sometimes, him feeling the baby kick against his large palms, trailing kisses up and down your nape. You would curl yourself up as much as you could to put your ear to his chest, his heartbeat drumming with excitement.  
When you weren’t helping Suguru, you were with the twins. Playing with them, going on walks, teaching them little things about the world that they missed while living in that cursed village. They were really excited to have a new sibling and talked about all of the clothes they would dress the new baby in. You had to remind them, of course, that the baby was not a doll. They also threw out name suggestions, but you had to tell them that unfortunately, “Princess,” and “Hello Kitty,” were not appropriate names to call their soon to be baby sibling. 
At the end of your long days tending to the needs of non-sorcerers that were actually useful to your cause, Suguru would have you both change out of your robes and start to cook dinner while you played with the girls. True, he could have hired someone to cook for your little family, but he wanted to take it upon himself to make sure that you were getting all of the nutrients and rest you and the twins possibly could. 
You somehow succeeded in carving out a nice life for yourself under the harshest of circumstances. Sure, it wasn’t the utopia you and Suguru had always imagined all of those nights back at Jujutsu High, but you had a little family of your own and were working towards a better, safer world. 
… 
After he finished tucking the girls into bed one night, you curled up with Suguru on the couch, your head tucked against his chest, and knees in between his hips, using him as a body pillow. One of his hands was around you and the other was used to cradle his head on the arm of the couch as you both laid there. 
None of your pre-maternity pants fit you anymore, so you threw on a pair of Suguru’s gray sweats and a white t-shirt. You practically lived in his clothes at this point. 
He started rubbing small, gentle circles on your swollen belly, seemingly in awe of your changing body. If you ever got insecure about your stretch marks, or how much weight you gained, he would make you stand in front of the mirror in your shared chambers, kissing every inch of your body. In the shower, he would take the time to wash your hair and help you shave. He wanted to let you know that you weren’t alone. Suguru was right there the whole time. 
You felt a fluttering in your stomach where he was rubbing your belly, and Suguru gasped, breaking the serene silence. 
“Hi, baby,” he whispered to your bump. Joy flashed through his tired eyes as his lips curved into a dopey smile. Then, he leaned up to press sweet, wet kisses into your neck. 
“The most beautiful woman in the world. How did I get so lucky?” Suguru cooed. 
“You’re stunning,” he continued, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. 
Since falling pregnant, you were sensitive to the slightest touch. Your fiancé was sensitive to the slightest glance from you. Your sexual appetites had grown increasingly insatiable. 
From his words and kisses, you could feel yourself drenching your underwear. As Suguru’s tongue continued to slither into your mouth, you absentmindedly started grinding against his muscled thigh, the friction feeling delicious on your clit. 
“Ngh- Sugu- p-please touch me. No teasing. Need you,” you moaned. 
“Do you need my fingers? I bet I can take you right now from how soaked you are,” he purred. 
“Don’t care. Want something inside,” you whined. 
“Lemme check you first. Don’t wanna hurt you.” And with that, he felt your soaked, clothed cunt through your pants and underwear. You were so wet, that a dark, sticky patch was starting to form on your sweatpants. You nearly ripped the pants off of you in the midst of your carnal need to have some part of him, any part of him, filling you. 
Suguru got right to work, stripping you of the layers concealing you from him. After a few circles on your clit, he sunk his middle finger into your cunt. There was no resistance; he was able to sink his finger all the way down to his knuckle. So, he added a second finger, which you took just as easily. 
You felt relieved to finally have something for your fluttering hole to suck on, but you needed more. You needed to be stuffed to the brim, completely full of him. 
“Suguru I need you inside,” you gasped, your cunt continuing to clench on his thick fingers. 
“Whatever you want, my love,” he replied, slipping his fingers out. You almost cried at the loss of contact, but you knew you were about to be rewarded tenfold. Suguru pushed his sticky fingers into your mouth as he rearranged the two of you. You licked his fingers clean, and he let out an unrestrained moan at the way you deepthroated his digits. 
Suguru sat you up, and scooted himself against the back of the sofa. He took his length out from his underwear, letting it smack his stomach, the tip weeping precum. Suguru removed his fingers from your mouth and used the remaining spit to cover his cock; a makeshift lube for the two of you. While he stroked himself, you climbed up on his lap and attacked his mouth with fiery, desperate kisses. 
He helped you remove your top, and then shed his remaining clothing articles. When he took your top off, you could tell that Suguru’s thoughts about the day had gone out the window. Suguru always had a fascination with your tits, now even more so that your tits had grown at least 2 cup sizes since pregnancy. He took one of your pert nipples into his mouth, sucking softly and grinding up into your wet heat, letting a grunt rumble through his chest.  
“Love, please,” you cried out, tears threatening to spill down your face.
With your pleading, he helped you to climb on top of him and lined his cock up with your greedy cunt. You slowly sunk down on his dick, feeling every ridge and vein inside of you. You both hissed as he breached your tight hole. 
Finally, you thought. 
Suguru resumed his sucking on your nipple, moaning around your soft mound, sending vibrations through your body. You were so overstimulated and sensitive that you felt like you were about to cum right there and then. 
He could feel that you were close by the death grip you had on his cock. So, he reached one of his large hands down from your waist and found your clit. You sunk your nails into his wide shoulders in response. 
“Give it to me,” Suguru growled on his way to give your other nipple the same treatment. 
The coil in your tummy snapped, the sensations driving you hard into your climax. Suguru moved to nibble on your earlobe, whispering what a good girl you were. 
As you came down from your high, Suguru’s hands moved down to your bump, staring in awe. 
“I told you I love this tummy,” he commented, his large hand splaying across your bellybutton. He pressed his forehead against yours. “I think it’s so beautiful, that your body submitted to mine.” 
“Mr. Geto,” you said with a fake gasp, sarcasm dripping from your voice, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re getting off on my predicament, you pervert.” 
“Touché,” he smirked. “I think it’s hot your body is going through all of these changes, just because of me. You’re mine,” he growled out the last words. 
“I’m yours,” you confirmed. 
“Suguru, I’m tired, I don’t know if I have the energy to ride you like this.” You realized he still hadn’t cum yet, he was probably in pain with the deep arousal he felt. 
“Okay, I’ll carry you to bed and we can finish there,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and slipped out of you, your juices trailing behind in a sticky string where you were formerly connected 
He then picked you up, bridal style, and started the short walk towards your room. The cool air felt sensitive against your hot pussy and swollen clit, your arousal and cum now rolling in small beads down the back of your thighs. 
He set you on your side on top of your California king mattress, covered in fine fabric sheets. Then, he took one of the large decorative pillows and pushed it in between your knees to allow him easy access to your cunt. This position would also allow some relief to your aching lower back. Suguru knew you loved it when he massaged your back, so he started there, pushing circles into the sore muscle and kissing up your spine. 
His erection rubbed up against the back of your thighs, rendering the both of you delirious. 
When you both couldn’t take it anymore, he finally slipped into your warm, wet heat again. 
“How would you like me to fuck you, love?” Suguru questioned. 
“Slow and deep. Wanna feel all of you,” you drooled.
“Mmm, sounds perfect,” he responded, pressing wet kisses into your neck. With that, Suguru started a long, deep thrust into the depths of your pussy. You felt every part of him; every ridge, every vein. You made a sound that you didn’t even know could come out of you. 
Suguru picked up the pace a little bit, leaving little whimpers and groans in your ear as he rutted into you. Suguru was usually pretty reserved during sex, but he recently started to be more vocal for you. It spurred you on even more, made you even more aroused, which felt impossible at this point. 
“I love it when you whimper-nGHH,” you moaned, as Suguru punctuated the end of your sentence with a particularly harsh thrust. The sex started to feel desperate, animalistic almost. Suguru felt something primal within him snap. He needed to fill you, to stuff you so full, he would watch his cum leak out of your pussy. 
“Suugguuhh-“ you felt your second orgasm of the night closing in on you. 
“Cum with me, doll, lemme fill you, ngh, u-up,” he grunted, moving a hand down to toy with your clit. “You look s-so good, full of me. Ngh- your tummy all round, tits all plump, making milk for my m-my baby,”
For some reason, that sent you over the edge, clamping down on his cock and coming hard. Your cunt sucked him in with a firm grip, and you could feel that he was close too. As he continued to fuck you through your climax, his heavy balls slapped once more against your thighs, and he came with a gasp, a series of, “I love you’s” and “Thank you’s” flooding from his mouth. 
He fucked himself through his orgasm, and finally collapsed into the mattress. After a few minutes, Suguru pulled out, watching in awe as his release dripped out of your hole. His fingers traveled down to the mess the two of you made and swiped his pointer and middle fingers through your folds. 
“I probably sound like a broken record, but I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you,” he said, kissing the top of your head, moving both of his hands to rest on your bump again. 
“C'mon, let’s clean you up, doll,” he said, trying to drag you out of bed. But you were already fast asleep. 
Suguru smiled to himself, running to the bathroom to get some warm compresses and clean towels. When he finished cleaning you up as best he could, he made his way to his closet, where he fetched his favorite graphic t-shirt. He handled you with more care than he would a butterfly or a flower as he dressed you, and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up. 
After he deemed himself decent enough, Suguru walked over to your sleeping form and bent down to the level where your belly was. He criss crossed his hands and rested his chin on them. 
“I love you and your mommy so much, little one. You’re so loved already,” he whispered, reaching one of his hands towards your belly. 
Suddenly, he felt a small fluttering beneath his hand. Suguru smiled, his eyes alive with pride and wonder.
… 
The next morning, you awoke to the smell of something delicious. 
And four little feet running across the floor.
“Shhh, Nanako, you’re gonna wake up Kamo-san,” Mimiko warned her sister. 
“It’s okay girls, I’m already up,” you sighed, yawning. “You girls sleep good?” 
“Yeah. Can we get crepes today?” Nanako asked, changing topics rather quickly. 
“It depends on what time me and Suguru get done at the monastery, but there should be enough time. The baby has been craving some chocolate,” you chuckled.
“I have a new name for the baby,” Mimiko declared, starting to climb on your bed.
“Oh, yeah? What?” You scoop her up and bring her into your lap somewhat successfully. 
“Peach. Like the princess,” Mimiko said, matter of factly. She looked down right proud of herself. 
“Mimiko, that’s a fruit. I think it should be Sparkles,” Nanako responded back to her sister. 
“Well, we’ll have time to think about what the baby’s name should be, but for right now…I think we should eat some breakfast and see who can get dressed the fastest,” 
“Geto-san made some breakfast,” Mimiko stated. 
“And I helped,” Nanako exclaimed, attempting to have her voice heard in the conversation.
“I helped too,” Mimiko scolded with jealousy. 
“Why don’t you girls go help set the table too and I’ll be there in a minute,” you said, pressing kisses to their foreheads. 
“Fineee,” Mimiko rolled her eyes playfully. 
You freshened up, brushing your teeth and wrapping your body in a luxurious silk robe Suguru had purchased for you. 
As you made your way down the long corridor and into the kitchen, you could hear the sizzle of something cooking. You turned the corner to find Suguru, shirtless, standing over the stove of your enormous kitchen. You decide to sneak up on him, letting your finger creep around his waist as you pulled him back into a hug. You couldn’t press yourself flush against him, as your stomach got in the way. 
“There’s my girl,” Suguru cooed. 
“You’re making breakfast?” You beamed with tears in your eyes at the stack of American-style pancakes next to the stove. For some reason, this small gesture was making you really emotional. 
“Of course, baby. I let the chef take off this morning to spend some time with my beautiful girls before I have to head over,” he replied, snaking his arm back to grab on to yours and place a kiss on your palm.
It was so domestic. It was so normal. 
“Okay, order’s up. Mimi, Nana, will you help me put these on the table?” Suguru asked.
“Yes Geto-san,” Mimiko sang as she skipped towards the tower of the fluffy, golden deliciousness. 
“Thank you, sweetie,” Suguru whispered, giving her hair a ruffle. 
After the pancakes were eaten, and the syrup had ended up on the faces of the twins and Suguru, you pried the girls out of their seats to get dressed for the day. You and Suguru headed back to your quarters to change into your robes. 
As you let the luscious silk fabric cascade off of your body as down to the floor of your shared closet space, you felt the presence of your fiancé behind you. 
“Hi,” he smirked into your shoulder, starting to press kisses up your neck. 
“Hi,” you whispered back. 
One of his large hands reached down to your bump, caressing it with the lightest of touches. 
“Can I listen to her?” He asked like a giddy child. 
“My love, you never have to ask, you’re always welcome to,” you beam as he excitedly makes his way towards your protruding bump. “Baby’s been hanging out towards the bottom today if you want to feel them move,” you added. 
“Hi baby girl, this is your da-” 
“Baby girl? What makes you think the baby's a girl?”
“What makes you think she’s not?” he quipped, his usual banter-like tone making you giggle. 
“As a wise man once said to me; touché.” The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, soaking in each other’s presence. After all, slow moments like this would be rare when the baby arrived. 
Your peace was disrupted by a loud knock at the door. 
“Geto-sama, Kamo-san, there is someone here to see you, he says it is urgent” you heard Suguru’s assistant shout through the door. 
“Tell whoever it is that they have no right to request my presence. I will meet with them when I am in my proper attire,” Suguru snapped. 
“Of course, master. It’s just… this kid…” 
“No exceptions, I don’t care if it’s Satoru fucking Gojo himself, whoever it is can wait,” Suguru pressed, getting annoyed now. 
“Yes, of course, I wi-AHHHHHH,” a blood curdling scream erupted from the other side of the door, followed by a loud thump. 
Sensing danger, Suguru leapt into action, putting himself in front of you and summoning a curse. “Who’s. There,” he demanded. 
Blood started to leak under the door and into the marble tiles of your room. 
Suddenly, the door flew open to reveal the collapsed assistant on the floor, covered in her own blood. Next to the body, there was the figure of a small boy drenched in the scarlet substance. 
“Noritoshi?” you questioned, tears filling your eyes.
END OF PART I
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dividers by @bunnysrph
202 notes · View notes
chokepoet · 9 months
Text
Cruelty & Empathy 18+
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gif by @romulussy
Summary | A night alone in the office has Roman and his assistant escalating their tension past a point of no return. The aftermath of which leads to confessions that will change the trajectory of their relationship forever.
Genre | Angst, Fluff, Porn With Plot
Content | anxiety, biting, blood, bondage, choking, crying, dom/sub tones, degradation, dirty talk, mentions of past physical abuse, power struggles, thigh riding, sadomasochism, slapping, spitting
Word Count | 8.5k
A/N: Y’all this fic is fuckin’ filthyyyy… but like in a romantic way??? I wasn’t going to share it but my best friend insisted. If y’all hate this I volunteer as tribute for boar on the floor lmao
Roman Roy’s Office | 10:33 pm
He was sprawled out across the couch as if this were his family’s private estate. It might as well have been. The building’s climate control always seemed to be blowing a peculiar air. One that felt like his father breathing down the back of his neck at all times. Left calf draped over the backrest, right hand cradling a whiskey, and head tilted back over the armrest. His once-slick hair now hung limp, with loose strands reaching for the carpet below. His upside-down gaze willed me to stop my attempts at meeting our deadline and to focus solely on him instead.
My bank account's dwindling had my morals emaciated. They’d weakly played tug of war with my last braincell when I'd accepted Roman’s job offer nearly two years prior. About 6 months into being his assistant, I found myself earning another role: his best friend. His only friend. My typing picks up speed as I contemplate what level of fucked-up I had to be in order to actually enjoy this job. I decide it must have been top-tier when my thoughts drift to the one Roy that had me feeling this way.
In the past 22 months, I came to understand Roman better than anyone else ever had. He somehow wormed his way into gaining just as much insight into me as well. It made me feel strangely protective over him. Oddly enough, he seemed to reciprocate. We still rarely aloud ourselves vulnerability in the presence of the other. We much preferred self-immolation. I don’t think he ever intended to grow so attached to me. He certainly would never admit to it. If you had asked me if the feeling was mutual, I’d lie through my teeth.
I loved him madly.
I don’t exactly know when or how it happened. I do, however, vividly remember when I first realized he held something soft for me.
Siena, Italy | 4:21 am
He was drunk off his ass, his head resting on my shoulder. He had been leaning into my frame for support long before he even needed it. Roman mumbled something about liking me because I was the only “sad sack of shit” in the office who could make him laugh. I asked him why I was a sad sack and not just a regular sack. He blew out a huff of air, causing his lips to trill. The sound was quickly preceded by the flipping of his wrists in a few circles.
“Isn't it obvious?” I nudged my shoulder against his head.
“Because I work for your sorry ass?”
He clumsily tapped the tip of my nose with his right pointer finger, nearly blinded my left eye in the process.
“Bingo, bongo, banjo.” The nonsensical words tumbled out and the rest of his drink tumbled in. “Itstheeyes.” I’d been unable to make out the slurred syllables mumbled just under his breath. For all I knew, they could’ve been Latin for ‘bastard’.
“What?” He dropped his now-empty glass into a historic fountain as we passed. I stopped to try and fish it out, but he dragged me away. I remember wondering if he had made a wish on it in his drunken haze. Rich and careless enough to pretend it was a penny. Maybe that had been why he was so adamant about me not retrieving it. My mind wandered as I pondered what Roman could have possibly wished for. His father's approval? An endless supply of luxurious Korean face creams? A pair of stunning Italian supermodels to lean into instead of me?
Tripping over his own two feet, I instinctively gripped his bicep. Stubborn as ever, he shoved me and muttered something along the lines of 'fuck off'. God forbid he’d take my help. Throwing my hands up, I left him to walk alone a few steps ahead of me. He weaved for a while before slowing his pace until he could lay his head back on my shoulder.
A beat passed, where the only sound was the soft crunch of our shoes against the weathered cobblestone. I caught one of his bleary eyes peeking over at my face. Content with whatever it was he found, he nodded to himself.
“Yep.” He popped his lips on the 'p' and absentmindedly kicked a pebble from our path. “It's the eyes. Sad sack of shit eyes. You've got 'em.” The laugh that had left me seemed much too loud as it ricocheted off every crumbling brick ahead of us. Roman smiled proudly for a moment. “I love your laugh.” The words were said mostly to himself. My cheeks warmed considerably.
“Really? It's obnoxious as all hell.” His brows furrowed, and he shook his head.
“No, it's fuckin’—fuck off. No, it's not.” He kicked another stone. “It's pretty. Pretty like… like your face.” Pretty. “Nothin’ like a hyena.” Hyena? “I think I'm gonna puke.”
He did.
Roman’s Office | 10:47 pm
“Hi.” A small voice lounging across from me pulls my attention. I look up from the computer and rest my head in my hand, my elbow propped on his desk.
“Hi.” I smile softly with a raised brow.“Need somethin’?” The grin that breaks across his features is almost childlike. His big brown eyes could even be mistaken for innocent; I knew better.
“As a matter of fact…” Extremely happy to have garnered my attention, he pulls himself to a sitting position. “Yes!” With a swift motion, he slams his whiskey onto the coffee table. The sharp sound of glass on glass reverberates throughout the room.
“Yes?”
“Yes?” His voice drops into a cartoonish impersonation of my own. His hand was still clasped around his drink for some reason. Flipping his face up to me with a saccharine simper, he adds, “Will you kindly suck my cock?”
“Will you kindly go fuck yourself?” My impression of him was just as cartoonish as his of me. The hand holding my head returns to typing. Groaning loudly, he lets go of his glass to dramatically fall back into the couch.
“Will you? ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ bored!” He drags out his words until they turn to whine. “This is fucking boring. Aren’t you bored?”
“Yes, you’re extremely boring.”
“Hurr-hurr.” He mocks while crinkling his nose. “I’ll have you know I’m anything but and am widely known as delightful company.” A snort escapes my nose and Roman smiles.
“Really? I thought you were widely known as a terrible person.” He rolls his eyes as I quote his cousin.
“Yeah, yeah fuck you.” He gives me the finger. I flip him off in return. “The fuck does Nosferatu fuckin’ know anyways?” The nickname makes me chuckle and has Roman mimicking Greg. “Oh, I—I couldn’t help but—couldn’t help but notice that my gargantuan height may be alarm—alarming the schoolchildren. I—is that why Iverson is um c—crying? Or is he like, I—I mean, is he… y—ya know… special?”
The laughter still bubbled up uncontrollably even as I tried maintaining focus on the task at hand. My passive interest towards Roman was annoying him to no end.
“Come on! I want entertainment! Entertain me, woman!” I roll my eyes. A cinnamon tinted stare was steady burning apertures into my features, willing me to stop ignoring him. “Come—Come on…” His hands outstretch in my direction, middle and index finger beckoning quickly. “Come show big daddy watcha got.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, my typing stops and I fully turn my attention towards him. His face contorts in a grimace already knowing what was to come. My brows raise as I slowly repeat his words back to him.
“Come show big daddy what I got?” Roman’s hands drag down his face and he groans loudly as soon as big leaves my mouth.
“Oh, fuck y—shut the fuck up.” He sinks lower into the couch with high hopes of it swallowing him whole. The smile that breaks across my features is downright malevolent. I couldn’t recall having ever seen him this embarrassed. Surprising, considering all the lewd shit he spews at me daily. There was something sick inside me that enjoyed it. The urge to play cat rather than mouse overtakes me.
“No, no, no. I just want to understand you clearly, Mr. Roy.” Our dynamic had never been much of a professional one. I couldn’t recall the last time I had addressed him so formally but I wanted to really get under his skin. Oddly enjoying my place in its prickled embrace. Rising from my chair, I place both palms on the desk and lean forward with a pout. “Are you saying you wanna shut me up with your cock, big daddy?”
“I’m going to fucking kill myself.” He was pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Aw! Weawwy, Daddy? Jus' 'cause I won't suwck yo big thick cock?” At that, a cushion flies towards my head. I narrowly catch it as I’m doubling over in laughter. He’s standing now, hands overtly animated.
“I swear to GOD, I’m going to fucking—fuck! Fuck you! Out the window!” He’s angrily pointing towards the giant window panes beside him. “I’m going to throw you out the fucking window!”
“Oh wow, you’re gonna fuck me out the window?” His face was the deepest shade of crimson I had ever seen it.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to Christ I’ll—“
“You’ll what?” I was doing a piss-poor job at stifling my laughter.
“I just fucking told you. Ass through glass.” He dismissively waves a hand in the air.
“Bullshit.” Finally looking at me, I cross my arms. His eyes flicker to my chest. “You don’t have the balls.”
“Are you saying I don’t have the balls to murder you?” The words come out in a bemused laugh. “I could murder the fuckin’—murder the shit out of you. Easily.”
“Okay.” With a shrug of my shoulders, I feel a dark coil in the back of my mind start to twist. “Prove it.”
“Prove it? You want me to—to what? Throw you through the goddamn window right now?”
I smirk back at him with a shrug, an inkling I had about him spilling to the forefront of my mind. It colors my vision and stains my tongue. If there was ever a time to find out if my suspicions held true, for some reason, I decided that now was the time. The office was definitely empty at this hour, and the privacy blinds were drawn, so no cameras. Risky as all hell, but if things go south, maybe I could play it off as riffing. I could be quite the convincing liar when I needed to be. My mother saw to that.
“See? I knew it.” With hands on my hips, I tilt my head to size him up. My tone shifts into something silky as sin. “You won’t do shit.” The air begins filling with static causing Roman’s lips to twitch. “You and I both know it. Don’t we…” I slide out from behind the desk, feeling taller as I grow closer. Feeling bolder seeing him swallow. “Romulus?” Using his father’s nickname for him causes his nostrils to flare. A clench in the jaw, a quick exhale. I fucking knew it. “So why don’t you just…” Fully standing in front of him now, I look down with a smirk “sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up for once in your life.”
The air was now overcome with static. Thick and heavy. The subjugated desire etched into his features felt so familiar to me. While I had never seen him this way, or anyone else for that matter, I myself had given that look many a time. That inkling I had was no longer an inkling. It had grown roots that smiled with wicked teeth; I was right.
The electric silence between us started to prick at my skin. My bottom lip twitches as it fought against every instinct to fill the silence with some form of an apology. To try and turn my sudden shift from dominance back into normalcy. His eyes dart to my mouth immediately; he knows.
“Make me.” His head slowly tilts upwards, as do the corners of his lips. The heat that had been slowly brewing between us for well over a year licks up my thighs. He was sneering up at me as we stood toe to toe. His burnt espresso eyes had my mind spiraling in their steam. The look on his face said everything. He saw me, he had me, he called my bluff, he won.
No.
My hand wound itself in the silky hair at the nape of his neck and I use it to jerk his head back. His jaw immediately goes slack. Something akin to a whimper escapes his throat. Surprise has my brows raising and Roman feeling embarrassed. His heavy lids fall and he turns himself away. Reaching up with my free hand, I grip his jaw until he’s facing me once again.
“Look at me.” He does in an instant and I’m flooded by a mixture of emotions. Relief, power, love. I never want to forget how he looks beneath my hands. The way his pupils eclipse the hazel of his eyes. The way his freckles scatter under the pinkish hue of a blush. The way his lips part slightly as his breath shakes out across them. Just as my eyes dance across his every feature, his do mine. Is he etching my features into his own memory?
He attempts to lean forward but I hold him steady. Roman wanted to kiss me but I wanted to tease. I press my lips beside his mouth before trailing them along the smooth path of skin leading to his ear. Sucking his skin into my mouth, I bit gently. A soft sound of content slips from his lips, so I trace up the shell of his ear with my tongue. Upon my return, I bite down once more; harder this time. Just as my teeth release him, the fist tangled in his hair gives a sharp tug. His hum bleeds into a moan that has me squeezing my thighs together. A cool plume of air billows past my lips along the now damp skin; goosebumps erupt immediately. I slide my hand from his jaw until my fingers wrap around his throat to hold him.
“Do you like this, Rome?” The soft whisper has him murmuring his satisfaction. “Come on…” I lightly squeeze his throat. “Be a good boy and use your words.” When I pull away to look at his face, I find his lids are nearly shut.
“Y-yeah.” He swallows in an attempt to steady himself. It doesn’t. “Y-yes, I like it.” He could barely look me in the eyes and it made my stomach flip in the best way possible.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this.” The words slip out before I have the chance to stop them. He inhales sharply, and the air seems to rattle through his skull. His eyes quickly leave mine as his face warms considerably. My heart beats as if it were trying to rip itself from my chest and collide with his. The blood rushing in my ears was chanting 'I love you' over and over again. My teeth dig into my cheek until the taste of blood envelops my tongue. I'm raging a war with my own body in silence. This newfound power was locking talons with my own subjugated nature and death spiraling through the emotion in my chest.
His pulse was racing underneath my thumb. My voice cascades over his flushed skin as I let feather light kisses rain upon him. His first name glides along the tip of his right cheek, his last over the tip of his left. Hovering just out of his reach, I whisper into his open mouth.
“Tell me what you need.” He desperately tries to press his lips into mine but I just pull back. He grunts in frustration.
“Just fuckin’ kiss me already.”
“No.” Releasing my grip, I shove him into the couch. He trips backwards, gracelessly collapsing into the cushions. I climb onto his lap with my knees pressed to either side of his hips. With one hand, I weave my fist around his tie and pull him to me. My other grips his jaw tightly. “You wanna try that again?” His jaw clenches beneath my fingers. His eyes were wild as they flared up at me. Suddenly, his hands lock onto my hips, hard. He pushes his face into my fingers until the tips of our noses bump together.
“I said, just fucking kiss me and I meant do it now.” His words were caught somewhere between a hiss and a growl. He never could handle the word no, so his response shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. The power I’d been holding over him was now leaking through the lace under my skirt. My thighs instinctively flex around him and it has him digging his fingers in harder. A liquid heat spreads through my chest at the thought of later seeing the bruises he was surely leaving behind.
“Well?” My teeth clench and the hand holding his jaw twitches. The attitude lacing his voice drug it’s nails up my spine as I’m reminded of how entitled he could be. He wasn’t supposed to be the one making demands anymore. His smile twitches as a darkness blooms behind his glee. “You wanna hit me don’t you?” My grip loosened; my lungs suddenly feeling like he held them in his fist.
“W-what?” I didn’t want to hit him. Did I? He was selfish, he was arrogant, and he could be so goddamn cruel. Still, the urge to physically harm him was something I had never once encountered. Knowing the history of his childhood and having bared witness to his father’s present day violence against him had made me hyper aware of the constant pain pulsing below his surface. My eyes rapidly blink as they search past his burning stare and into the darkened crevices of his soul.
Oh—he wanted me to hurt him.
His need for it radiating from the blackened pits to scald me. It scared me. It scared me because it felt dark. It felt wrong. But it scared me the most of all because suddenly in this moment, I wanted to. “I-I don’t-“
“Shut the fuck up.” Again, my teeth clench and my grip retightens on his jaw. His smile grew. Mother fucker knew what he was doing. He was basking in it.
He reaches for my hand wound in his tie, quickly unraveling before bringing it to his throat. His own then slide towards my ass. Gripping tightly, he pushes me down against his length to make sure I felt how badly he wanted this. He throbbed against my center; he wanted it bad. “Listen to me. You’re gonna let go of my jaw and you’re gonna fuckin’ slap me, aright?” I nod and release him. “Fuckin’ hit me.” As I draw back my palm, his tongue peaks out to wet his bottom lip.
Slap.
My palm makes contact and brushes across his cheek. It was a sad attempt really. Weak. Even though I knew he wanted it, needed it, something inside held me back.
I was still scared of harming him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Come on!” He roughly digs his fingers into my ass, significantly harder than before. “I said fucking slap me!”
Crack.
I slapped him. Hard. His face jerks to the side. My hand stung as it instinctively goes to cover my mouth in shock of myself. His lips twitch before slowly turning up in a demented grin. A bloom of red seeps out from his bottom lip and his tongue slides across it. With the taste of his own blood, his smile widens. He laughs softly to himself and I slowly lower my hand.
“There she is.” His voice low, a rumbling purr. “You fuckin’ bitch.” The hand I had just used to strike instantly flies into the mess of his hair; our lips collide. A groan escapes, but from which of us—I didn’t know. The metallic taste of him fueled me. It felt frantic, bruising, needy. We pushed ourselves into each other as if we were feral creatures, held captive and starved. Feeding on something we had buried deep inside only to be found behind the teeth of the other. Sucking his tongue into my mouth causes him to moan and set me ablaze.
I force our mouths apart with a pull of his hair; desperately needing to catch my breath and clear my head. Panting heavily, we stare into the depths of the other in quiet disbelief. This was really happening.
“You sure you want this?” I needed to hear him confirm that he did, in-fact, want to go where we were obviously heading. I knew Roman long enough to know he had serious intimacy issues. Their seeming lack of presence in this moment had me in a whirlwind. He pressed himself into my center once again, his nails bruising crescents into my skin.
“What do you fuckin’ think, dumbass?” I let go of his throat and dig my own nails into his jaw to grip him harshly. He openly smiles with swollen lips.
“Tell me then. Tell me exactly what you want.” His expression falters and his jaw tenses beneath my fingers, eyes flickering from mine.
“You know what I fuckin’ want.” His words seep through gritted teeth. I press my forehead to his. Ever so slowly, I begin rhythmically grinding my hips down upon him. The friction causing his eyes to slip shut. A loud groan escapes from somewhere deep within his chest.
“Roman, I swear to God I’ll stop.” He doesn’t say anything so I still my hips. Umber eyes shoot open and he tries to move me himself. I won’t budge. “I will get up and I will fucking leave you here like this. Pathetic and alone with nothing but your hand.” As the words leave my mouth, so do my hips leave his. His brows snap together and tries in vain to pull me back down again. Still, I don’t budge. “I will walk out this door and you will never fucking see me again. Is that what you want?” The threat was hollow but said with a bite that had shaken me. I was falling into this role a little too easily, a little too well.
He gapes up at me when I completely let go of him. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I attempt to push myself off. It’s him who doesn’t budge this time. He yanks me back down with every ounce of strength his small frame contained. The sudden action has all the air escaping my lungs. With a hand clasped to the back of my neck, he seizes me into a searing kiss.
“Whatever you want.” The words frantically rush into my mouth. “I don’t care.” Fighting against the grip on my neck, he finally gives. I pull back to contemplate his words. Tilting my head slightly, my gaze falls to his tie. An idea begins forming as I slowly untie the silk. My nimble fingers unbuttoning his shirt has him intently studying my face. Whatever I want.
Cupping his warm face in one hand, I smear the blood of his bottom lip with my thumb. He parts his mouth and sucks it in. With my other, I reach for Roman’s and slide his own thumb into my waiting mouth. As I swirl my tongue around him, Roman’s eyes darken and he sucks me harder.
Pulling from his lips with a pop, I rub my now wet thumb against his nipple. A soft moan is let loose. My tongue continuously plays with him inside me. He shudders as I pinch the bud beneath my fingers before doing the same to the other. Letting go of his hand, I reach forward to pinch both simultaneously and he groans loudly.
My cheeks hollow around his thumb as he slips it from me. He drags it down my bottom lip and stares intently. Transfixed by my spit glistening in the incandescent light. Cupping my jaw, he pulls me forward to replace his thumb with his tongue. That familiar groan returning when I suck him in. His other hand tangles itself into my staticky waves and he kisses me with everything he has.
“Give me your wrists.” The order was partially muffled against his mouth.
“Huh?” The question was mumbled into my lips.
“I said,” Threading my fingers into his own hair, I pull him back. “give me your fucking wrists.” With a dramatic tug, his tie is jerked from underneath his collar in a rush. He sat still, blinking up at me. The walnut shells of his eyes fall into my hands. There was a slight apprehension, a nervousness to them. “Do you trust me, Rome?”
“Y-yeah.” His voice was hushed as he presents his hands to me and I slowly start wrapping the silk around his wrists.
“We can stop at anytime. You know that, right? Just say the word and I’ll stop immediately.” My reassurance seems to irritate more than comfort. He rolls his eyes with a tilt of the head.
“Would you fuck off? I’m fine.” A crease digs itself into the bridge of his nose and my actions immediately still.
“I’m not going to fuck off unless I know that you know that you’re safe with me, okay?” This dominate role was far from the submissive one I was innately familiar with. We obviously had never discussed boundaries and I didn’t know where the lines were anymore. “I need you to know you can speak up. That I’ll stop the second you tell me to.” Roman looks like he’d rather get a root canal than continue this discussion, but I don’t care. This was far too important. “I need you to know that your comfort is important—that your feelings matter.”
“I fucking know it, alright?” He snapped before groaning and throwing his head back. “God, what the fuck else do you need to know before you just shut the fuck up and get on with it already?” My hand quickly finds its way to his throat with a squeeze. He seems more than pleased by this response.
“Do you wanna fucking cum?”
“Clearly I wanna fuckin’—“ My other hand slaps over his mouth and I can feel him smiling underneath my palm. Roman was gladly trying to piss me off. He was itching to see me lose control; yearned to meet the creature locked inside me. The wicked one I never acknowledged or came near; the demon only he could see. She bathes me in the blood of solidified suspicions.
Roman didn’t want my empathy.
Roman wanted my cruelty.
“Then are you fucking stupid? If you don’t shut the fuck up I’ll make damn sure to have you crying like a little bitch before I even think of letting you cum.” His eyes blackened as he watches my succubuss unhinge her jaw to swallow me whole. “Got it?” He nods quickly. Rapid bursts of air shoot from his nose across the back of my hand. “And lose the fuckin’ attitude.” Removing my hand, I slap him across the mouth; handing myself over to his desires completely.
Having finished binding his wrists and setting them behind his head, I rise from the couch. Standing between his ankles, I unzip my skirt and let it fall to my feet. The muscles in his forearms flex. His tongue peaks between his lips as he gawked at the damp lace between my thighs. Sliding my finger below his chin, I tilt his head until he meets my eyes.
“You know what I want, Roman?” My hand takes home around his throat once again. Now having his full attention, I feel him swallow as he shakes his head. His excitement was palpable. Settling my right knee between his thighs, I nudge it gently against his hard length. His nostrils flare with a sharp inhale. “I want you to watch me get myself off on your thigh.” He groans loudly. I couldn’t tell if it was out of desire, frustration, or a mixture of both but the response delighted me nonetheless. Placing my left knee to the other side of his thigh, I fully seat myself upon him. “Knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.”
“Fuck.” Slowly grinding against the fabric of his thigh, my lashes flutter at the sensation. A soft moan escapes me before I can stop it. I was dripping wet and could already feel myself swiftly ruining his ostentatiously expensive pants.
“How does it feel Roman? To have me use you like this?“ A whimper meets my ears. His eyes transfixed on my clothed center sliding roughly against his thigh. There was a fire beneath his skin and he was entranced by the sight of kerosene being poured upon it. “To ruin you like this?” His smokey gaze flickers up to mine and I use the moment to grind myself harder against him. The rough friction elicits another moan from me, louder this time. “This is all you’re good for—” My final word comes out in a whine causing Roman to tear into his bottom lip hard enough to draw more blood. “Tell me. How does it feel?” I nudge my knee into his throbbing member once more and the deepest groan ripples through his teeth. His arms jerk against his binds as I use my free hand to sharply twist his nipple. “Answer me!”
“Good! It feels—Fuck.” The sentiment came out hoarse and husky. He shoves his head back into his tied wrists, thrusting himself against my knee. “Feels so f-fuckin’ good.” Digging my thumb into his pulse point, I slide my knee back. He whines; all hopes of friction dashing in an instant.
“No. You don’t get to cum until I say you do. Got it, you demented little fuck?” He’s a whimpering mess beneath me; eyes wide and watery. I wanted to drown myself in the sight and never touch the light of day again.
My thong bunches to the side from the aggression in my movements. Now fully bare against him, a shiver rushes through me as my clit kisses the luxurious fabric of his thigh. I wasn’t going to last much longer.
“If you don’t fucking behave I swear to God I’ll leave you like this—tied up and soaking for whoever to find.” The bite in my threats were losing their edge. My voice lost somewhere between a moan and sigh. An impending orgasm flicks it’s tongue at the base of my spine.
“Wouldn’t want it to be your father who finds you like this, would you?” A mangled whine shakes itself from his throat and has me smiling.
The blood seeping from his parted lips seem to glitter under the city light of his windows. I flatten my tongue across his jaw and drag it up his chin until my mouth fills with copper. The taste causes a sigh to slip from my mouth into his.
“You’re close. I-I can feel it.” His voice tight and high-pitched as he starts to slightly bounce his leg. “You’ve f-fucking drenched me.” The jolting of his thigh into my clit has my head falling into his shoulder; grinding harder and faster against him. The nails of my right hand embed themselves into the skin of his waist. A carnal mosaic of the flesh born below my grip. I was at the brink. “I-I wanna feel you cum.” He’s whining as he starts to bounce his leg faster; face buried in my hair. His shaking breath against my cheek has my entire body erupting in goosebumps. “P-please lemme f-feel you cum.” His beg hitches to an even higher pitch. His thigh nearly vibrating under me, desperate pleas rippling through me. Every nerve ending in my body felt ablaze.
It was all too much.
A scream rips from my lungs and I sink my teeth into the flesh of Roman’s shoulder. He tasted of salt and brimstone. My nails frenetically scratch into his skin as my thighs tremble and squeeze. Groans barrel up from his chest to mingle with my own. My release shatters through me with a blinding intensity I had never experienced before. I was overflowing; drenching his thigh to seep into his soul.
The heaving of our chests pressed tightly together slowly lulls me back down again. My fingertips absentmindedly painting shapes into his skin with the blood I’d drawn from his waist. Sparkles of light and voids of soot twirl across my vision. An indention of my teeth remained etched into his shoulder. He shudders when I press a soft kiss onto the bruised skin. My head falling heavy when it replaces my mouth to lean into him.
I’m suddenly reminded of Roman’s own much needed release upon finding his hips desperately grinding circles into empty air. He’s whimpering; body begging. My hand still cradled his throat so I languidly brush my thumb along his pulse point. His heart was racing.
“Do you need to cum, Roman?” A loud, high-pitched whine answers me.
“Please.” The word comes out in a choked sob. “I need—“ He was fighting against his binds, the silk digging painfully into his wrists. “Please.” He frantically presses open mouth kisses into any inch of my skin that he could reach; pleading with glassy eyes. “Please lemme cum.” I leave his throat to gently cup his cheek and smile softly before pulling back from him. “No—“ He stops himself when I thread one hand into his hair and place the other bloodied one atop his chest.
“You gonna cum your pants for me, Romie?” I take my sweet time sliding my palm towards where he needs it most. “Like the needy little slut that you are?” The whispered words were dripping in ghost pepper honey that had him swallowing. “Are you that desperate? That pathetic?”
“Yes.” The answer comes out in a quiet quick rush of air. “Y-yeah, I am.” My hand finally reaches his pulsing length and it twitches beneath my fingers. He immediately ruts against my palm and I squeeze him before jerking his head back.
“Stop.” He clenches his teeth but surprisingly does. Tensing beneath me, using every ounce of self control to still himself. He was trembling beneath my grasp. Frustrated tears caressed his lashes and began streaming down his flushed cheeks. His breath was coming out hard and shallow through flared nostrils.
A memory flashes through my mind: Roman’s captivated stare watching his glistening thumb press into my bottom lip.
“Open your mouth.” Again, he follows my orders instantly. Hovering my face above his, my lips purse with a drop of spit. He catches it with a moan that I immediately kiss into my mouth. “Cum.” My voice drops just above a whisper against his raw lips. “Make a mess of yourself.”
He instantly begins fucking himself roughly into my grip. The heat of his flesh searing me through the fabric. Grunting into my open mouth as I tug his hair into the cushions just below his wrists. His hands opening and closing before locking into tight fists. “Look at me.” His eyes shoot open. “Such a good boy for me.” A familiar emotion swirls through the sliver of hazel around his pupils. His lids flutter as he fought with everything in him to keep himself rooted in my gaze. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Roman.”
His hips shoot from the couch as he explodes and spreads me open across his thigh. The sensation causes my breath to catch in my throat. A gravely yell rips from the deepest parts of himself and tears apart every muscle in my body. He pours everything he has into the fabric beneath my hand with wide eyes never leaving mine. He collapses hard with shuttering breaths; body limp and twitching.
I release him to bring my palm to my lips; the slightest bit damp from him. My tongue paints his taste into my memory with pupils blown. Jaw slack, he watches intently through heavy wet lashes. His muddy eyes fill with that same emotion I had seen from him earlier.
“Lemme taste you.” The request was nearly silent but it rattled me like a wail. If I was any further from him I wouldn’t have heard it, but I did and couldn’t believe he had asked. Lifting my hips slightly, I run two fingers through my sensitive folds and shiver. He immediately takes notice and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips.
My fingers tremble as they rise towards his mouth. He inhales deeply before parting his lips for me. Slipping into the velvet of his mouth, his eyes flutter shut. His pointed tongue runs up between their gaps before flattening to drag back down. He was savoring every drop as if he were a starved man lost at sea. An involuntary hum reverberates from his throat into my skin and his cheeks seem to darken even more. He playfully bites down with sparkling eyes when I slip my fingers from his warm mouth.
The sight had the blood pounding in my ears beginning their familiar chant: ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ It overwhelmed me and I couldn’t help but pull him into one last searing kiss. Tasting myself on his tongue had my head spinning. Here on my knees, I prayed to a godless sky that he could taste my heart overflowing into his mouth. Cupping his cheeks in both hands, my thumbs brush away the damp paths left by his previous tears. His forehead suddenly creases beneath mine.
“You okay, Rome?” He shakes my hands from his face and turns away from me. My own brows knot together in worry.
“I’m fine.” His face further contorts upon hearing how his voice cracked. It might as well have cracked my ribs right along with it. He clenches his jaw before gnawing at the inside of his cheek. His hands form into tight fist behind his head. He was trying not to cry again.
My fingers twitch in my lap and it takes everything in me not to wrap him in my arms. Instead, I reach for his wrists and bring them forward. They felt heavy and limp in my hands. Right as I began my attempt at untying them, a small sniffle brings my attention back to Roman’s face.
“It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know?” I try to gently reassure him but it only deepens the tortured disgust in his features.
“I said I’m fucking fine.” The words are spit with a venom that eats through to my bones. Feeling me search his feature has him crumbling before me. Fresh tears immediately start spilling down his cheeks and into the pits of my soul. I couldn’t help but reach for him. He surprisingly lets me cup his cheek, so I gently turn him to face me. His eyes squeeze tighter below my lips as I lightly kiss their corners. The small gesture of affection has a mangled sob ripping from his chest. Fully burying his face into my hand, he lets himself weep into my palm.
Brushing back the strands of hair sticking to his sweat, I feel my own eyes filling with tears. Refusing to let myself cry, I leave his hair to clumsily attempt untying his wrists with one hand but the knot had grown significantly tighter. No doubt from Roman constantly pulling against it all this time.
“Hey, Rome?” He responds with a mangled sound in the back of his throat. A desperate need to comfort and free him started anxiously clawing at my throat. “Listen, I know you’re totally fine and everything but I’m actually not.” His watery eyes glance to me, not registering that I’m joking. “The she demon that possessed me, she—the bitch was a Girl Scout from hell. This knot’s tighter than a goddamn hangman’s noose.” Roman pulls his face from my hand while rapidly blinking. The sounds of grinding metal fill my ears and their smokey scent tickles my nose. I flash him a goofy, albeit nervous, smile and the gears inside his head finally click into place.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” There was no bite to his words, having spoke them through a bemused chuckle. He wipes his nose with back of his hand and inhales the remnants of his vulnerability. Grateful relief balms the scrapes at my neck left by worry’s desperate claws.
His smile falters when I suddenly get up and leave him; it's as if a burst of panic fills his chest. However, when he watches me pick up a pair of scissors and the joggers from his gym bag, I sense the tension in him ease slightly. It's only when I climb back atop his thigh that he appears fully relieved. The weight of my warmth sinking into him seems to ground him.
After tossing his change of pants onto the cushion beside us, I carefully slide the blade under his tie and free him. The silk had dug in painfully, leaving nearly raw indentions in it’s wake. I mentally make a note to check my purse for some soothing lotion later as my fingers lightly brush across his skin. My thumbs begin rubbing into the muscles of his forearms. Roman was studying my face intently.
“These feel okay?” Shaking out his wrists, he rotates them a few times before letting them fall limp in my lap. It was his way of silently asking me to continue with my actions. He had far too much pride to express his desire for such a tender expression.
“Feels fine.” He fights off a shy smile when my hands pick up where they left off, massaging him gently. “My side on the other hand feels like fuckin’ cruise papers with the way ya shredded me.” He chuckles but I could still hear the residual emotion behind it. I lift the corner of his shirt up to take a look. The sight has my stomach instantly dropping; tangled weeds of angry wounds imbedded deep into flesh. Needles of red hot guilt begin sewing threads of shame up my legs. Looking down, I’m greeted with his blood caked under my nails. Memories of violence and words of degradation take ownership of my lungs.
“Fuck Rome…” My voice cracks and I suddenly feel my own tears holding a knife to my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Roman quickly tears the fabric from my grasp and yanks it down.
“Oh shit. No no no no no—fuck fuck fuck.” His panicked expression made me feel so much worse. The canines of an anxiety attack drag up the nape of my neck like a threat. “I—I was fucking kidding!”
“I shouldn’t have d—done that to you. I—I shouldn’t have hit you. I shouldn’t have said—I didn’t—Rome, I didn’t mean them! The words—I—I’m so sor—“
“Oh dear God, would you fuckin’ stop.” He quickly cut me off but I had already dove to the deep end of a molten lava shame spiral.
“I—I made you fucking bleed Roman!” He rolls his eyes. “Multiple times!” His hands slap themselves onto the sides of my face, pressing hard into my cheeks.
“Yeah and you licked it up and it was the sexiest fuckin’—” I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him. If I looked at him I’d most certainly start crying. “I mean, I’m literally fucking drenched in cum right now.” My mouth was set in a hard line but my bottom lip quivered. “Come on now…” Nope, didn’t have to look at him. Turns out his voice alone could send tears falling. “I was kidding! I liked the fuckin’—fuckin’ feral scratchy shit! It was hot! And—and I told you to hit me! I—I wanted it! I wanted you to say all that fuckin’ nasty shit!” His fingers press into my skin harder as if he could force his sentiments to penetrate my skull. “I…I fuckin’ loved it. Like a lot. Okay?” My head was shaking back and forth trying to gain some control over my emotions, shake free of my tears. Roman didn’t know that though. How could he? I wasn’t speaking. He probably thought my actions were just my way of rejecting him. “Please don’t fuckin’ do this.”
My eyes crack open as I remove Roman’s hands from my face. The knotted look of bewilderment etched into his features summons the childhood phantom of my mother. Taking her disembodied palm to slap me across the mouth and rattle me with shrill screams: ‘You need to pull yourself the fuck together!’ I follow suit, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes.
“Promise?” My question came out pathetic and small. I fucking hated it and I fucking hated crying. I’m being fucking ridiculous. Stupid.
“Again, and I can’t stress this enough, soaking in my own cum right now.” His reassurance comes with a laugh that tugs my frown up slightly.
“I just—I’m sorry. It was one thing in the moment but just like… I dunno. I’ve never done anything like that. I—I don’t know what came over me.” My face felt feverish as the backs of my hands wipe the shame staining my cheeks. “Seeing the aftermath just kinda, it just—The thought of actually hurting you makes me feel fucking sick, Rome.” I feel the back of Roman’s knuckle brush away the tears I had missed. Chancing a look at his face gifted me the softest expression I had ever seen from him. “I never want to cause you any real harm.” My voice sounded almost foreign, weak with emotion and vulnerability. Where did all my bravado go? Oh yeah, it’s dripping down my thighs.
“Well you didn’t, alright? I’m fine. Like completely. A-o-fuckin’-kay over here.” He throws me the okay symbol and tries offering me a reassuring smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“But you were crying, Rome.” The smile instantly drops.
“That? No, I wasn’t—“ He shakes his head before scratching at his jaw. “It—it wasn’t because of that.” My brows furrow, and he groans, hands dragging down his face. “Look, I didn’t—I don’t—fuck!” He shakes his fingers through his hair and looks as if he’s about to rip it out. Refusing to meet my eyes, his stare finally settles on my hands lying face up in my lap. “It was your fuckin’—your hands, okay? It was your fuckin’ hands.” My eyes fall from his face and focus on the blood staining my fingertips. So it really was because I hit him. “The way you—“ He sighs. “The way you held me.” Oh. His head falls back as a long frustrated groan escapes him, eyes searching for heaven in the ceiling. “I dunno, okay? It just felt—it felt—“ He couldn’t finish. His eyes fall shut before he continues, his voice even quieter than before. “All I could think about was how you had looked at me.” I swallow before whispering just as quietly as he.
“How did I look at you?”
“I don’t know.” His voice grew thick with emotion once again. He shakes his head and finally meets my eyes; looking so defeated and sad. His pain bled me. “You’re always fuckin’ lookin’ at me like—like—“ Again, he can’t finish. He clenches his jaw like a threat towards the words caught in his throat.
“Like I love you?” His eyes squeeze shut and he turns his face from me once again; hiding himself from my words. I watch him clench and unclench his jaw until courage clenches my own. “Because I do love you, Roman.” Every muscle in his body seemed to tense beneath me, but I couldn’t stop my feelings from shattering their shackles. They’d been locked up for so long that their first taste of freedom sends them sprinting. “I love you so fucking much.” He clenches his fists, still unable to open his eyes and look at me.
I let myself lean into him and lay my head onto his shoulder. His fist start to unfurl and he lets his head fall against mine. A shuddering breath leaves him and he buries his face into my hair, hands tentatively resting on my hips. We sit in silence as I listen to his breathing slowly steadying. Once it had nearly returned to normal, I feel his lips gently press into my temple.
“I love you too.” The words were murmured into me, a heavy sigh follows after them. “You have no fucking idea.” The wilted buds of my heart and mind begin to bloom. My arms wrap themselves around him and squeeze him to me tightly. He reluctantly wraps his arms around me as well; slowly tightening his embrace until he’s clinging to my soul. Turning my head I press a kiss into the side of his throat and hear him sigh once again; the weight between us was dissipating.
“I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.” The words he had stuttered out when trying to calm me drift to the forefront of my mind. “I—I liked it too.” The warmth of his skin embraces my shy confession. “What we did together, I mean.” I hear him snort and it has me smiling against him. The air was feeling lighter.
“I’d fuckin’ say so, ya fuckin’ banshee. You shoulda seen how fuckin’ hard you came. I mean—Jesus Christ, you were fuckin’ feral.” I hide my face further into his neck but can’t help the laughter that bubbles up from me. “And now you act all fuckin’ bashful and shit? How the fuck does that even work? You literally tied me up and road my thigh like a buckin’ bronco.” I bite his throat and my body shakes from his laughter vibrating through me.
“Fuck you! I’m complex.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He tangles his hands in my hair and pulls me back to face him. “You’re fuckin’ insane, you know that?” He was smiling as he said it. “You drive me fucking insane.”
“The feelings mutual.” His smile only widens and he bounces his leg. I yelp in surprise, frantically gripping at his arms to maintain balance. He’s giggling uncontrollably. “You’re a sick fuck, Roman Roy.”
“Ooo round two already, thigh master?” He bounces his leg again. I try to slap his chest but he catches my wrist with his freehand and pulls me into a kiss I’m never going to forget. It was different than all the ones we had shared prior. This one was so much softer, so much gentler. Our foreheads rest against one another. His smile against my lips illuminates every crevice once void of light; I was loved.
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roseghoul26 · 3 months
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Part 2
Arthur Morgan x f!Reader
"'Do you love me?' You asked, voice barely louder than a whisper.
Arthur nodded, gazing at you like you hung the moon and the stars.
'Then say it. I promise you, nothing bad is gonna come from it.'"
Synopsis: A retelling of the mission "Blessed are the Peacemakers", where instead of Arthur getting kiddnapped, it's you.
Tags: fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut, smut, torture, mentions of sexual assault, no actual SA, dutch is father figure, so is hosea, arthur morgan deserves everything, fem reader, afab!reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, not beta read
Author's Note: this was meant to be a short one shot lmao i got so carried away with this
part 1 ❉ part 2 ❉ part 3 ❉ part 4
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For what felt like the millionth time over the past few days, Arthur glanced beside him, expecting to see you riding beside him, the sunlight illuminating your face in a way that took his breath away. And, for the millionth time, it was still only Charles, who had joined him on his search for you over the past days.
After you failed to show at the designated meeting spot after the negotiations, he had to practically be dragged to camp by the other men. “She’ll be fine,” Dutch had said. “You know how she gets sometimes. She’s probably out helping some stranger on the side of the road. She’ll be back before you know it.”
Deep down, he knew something was wrong, but he still allowed himself to be led back, keeping an eye out for you or your horse. After waiting in camp for an hour or two, he decided enough was enough, speeding out before anyone could stop him. He knew you could handle yourself, but something about the whole situation felt wrong. You were never gone for this long without letting him or someone else in camp know. 
It only took a few minutes of fast riding before he returned to the meeting spot, climbing the hill to where you had perched. With a keen eye, he scanned over the area, nothing standing out to him except a small splatter of mysterious liquid a few feet away, barely visible in the dirt.
Stepping closer, his suspicion was correct, causing bile to creep up his throat. 
It was blood. More specifically, your blood, something he never wanted to see.
Crouching down, he took in the surrounding area. A path cut through the dusty ground, like something was dragged through it, before stopping at a set of hoofprints, receding down the hill with another set in tow, like the other horse was being led.
All Arthur could hear was his heartbeat anxiously pounding as he remounted, taking off down the hill, following the barely visible tracks as best he could. He managed to follow about a mile, nearly reaching Valentine, before other hoofprints intertwined with the track he was following, making it impossible to continue following.
“Shit,” Arthur cursed, scrubbing his face with his hand as he figured out what to do. If you had been kidnapped, which was apparent, then someone had to have seen something in town. You’d have been slung over the rump of the horse, which he figured someone might remember if they saw.
It was about two hours later when he left town, having gotten a lead from some of the residents about someone carrying someone through town, heading southwest toward Strawberry. The sun had long since set, and as he rode back to Clemens Point, he was lost in his thoughts.
He had to finally admit to himself that the things he felt for you went beyond a normal friendship. Friends don’t wonder what it would be like to hold you in the night. Friends don’t wonder how your lips would feel, how your hands would feel, how your body would feel. Friends sure as hell don’t lie awake at night fantasizing about you, then be too embarrassed to meet your eye in the morning.
Your compassion towards him throughout the years was something he cherished, the way your face lit up when you saw him, or the way you held him when he confided in you about his troubles. Every moment with you filled something in his chest that he didn’t realize was empty. 
He hasn’t felt something like this toward anyone since Mary, but this felt different. This felt genuine, natural, like it was always meant to happen, born from years of trust. He had felt it for some time, but fear of ruining something great stopped him from saying anything. If his relationship with you crashed and burned the same way it did with Mary, his heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
He vowed to himself that he would tell you everything once you were safely back home.
“Who goes there?” He heard Charles shout out, barely registering he was back at camp.
“Just me,” Arthur sighed, slowing down to a trot as Charles came up beside him.
“Find her?”
“She's been taken… O’Driscolls took her through Valentine, heading southwest.”
Having only heard Charles swear only a few times, it took him by surprise when he heard the man mutter a curse under his breath, escorting Arthur as he entered camp, still staying on his horse. A light pat on his leg caught him off guard. “Rest up. We’ll head out at sunrise.”
“I’m just grabbin’ a few thing. She ain’t… I ain’t got time to sleep…” he trailed off, fighting back a conveniently timed yawn. “I can handle this myself.”
“She’s my friend too, you know. Maybe not as close as you two, but I care about her. And don’t think you’d survive ambushing a camp of O’Driscolls by yourself,” Charles shook his head, turning and walking back to his guard post, keeping his eyes on Arthur. “I only got a half hour left on my shift. We’ll rest until sunrise and head out. Neither of us will be able to help her if we’re dead on our feet.”
After failing to move, he watched the hunter turn back around, his face calm despite his words. “Don’t make me pull you off that horse, Arthur.”
He couldn’t help rolling his eyes, dismounting before walking toward his tent, sitting down on his cot with his head in his hands, hat left on the nightstand next to him. “Hang on, princess,” he muttered, as if it was going to help anything, before trying his hardest to get any semblance of rest.
True to his word, Charles woke him at the crack of the rising sun, and he left a note for the others letting them know where he was going, just in case. That was roughly four days ago, nowhere close to finding you than before. 
He just prayed he would get to you in time.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
“Miss Grimshaw, I need help!” Dutch’s panicked voice jolted you to consciousness, your eyes squinting against the harsh sunlight, bringing your arm up to block against the intrusion, before realization settled in.
Dutch was talking. 
You were home.
Instantly you were awake, bolting upright into a sitting position, scaring the hell out of said man, who you saw take a step back, before rushing to your side. 
You could barely understand the words coming out of your mouth, your eyes finally clearing as you took in the leader of your group kneeled before you, relief etched across his face. “It’s Colm- Dutch, I-, he–” you were almost hyperventilating as your eyes darted around manically, your body and mind suddenly overwhelmed. 
Two hands grabbed your face, focusing your attention on the man in front of you. “Breathe, my dear. Just. Breathe.”
Following his instructions, you took a deep breath in, and out, repeating the action until your heart rate slowed down a tick. Miss Grimshaw, at this time, was by your side now, asking you questions that you were too out of it to hear. “Dutch, it was Colm. I- It was a setup. He took me. But I got away.” You only noticed you were crying when Dutch wiped away the tears with a handkerchief, something almost fatherly in the action. “I got away.” You repeated, more to yourself than anything. 
A rare, true smile graced Dutch as his hands moved from your face to your shoulders, being mindful of the obvious injury there. “Yeah, that you did. But you’re safe now.”
“He was gonna set the law on us, Dutch.”
“Of course he was.” Sighing, you felt Dutch’s grip on you let up as he stood. “But that’s not a problem for you to worry about right now. All you need to focus on is getting better, okay?”
Nodding, you went to try and stand, almost collapsing until you felt Miss Grimshaw on your right side sling your arm over her shoulders, allowing you to rest your weight on her. She led you to your cot, Dutch following behind with his arms out like you were a child learning to walk for the first time. Exhaustion made its presence known again, and you felt your head grow fuzzy, black spots dancing across your vision.
You were almost fully tucked into your cot before a new thought caused you to sit right back up, earning you a disapproving sigh from Miss Grimshaw. “Where’s Arthur?”
Dutch, who stood at the entrance of your tent, left, and you heard him shout to Javier. “Go track down Arthur. Tell him his girl’s home.”
Glancing over to Miss Grimshaw, you asked again. “Where’s Arthur?”
Cupping your hand in hers, she responded. “Him and Charles are out looking for you. Have been since you’ve been gone.”
“How long was I gone for?”
“About four days, dear. You gave us quite a fright.”
“And he’s… they’ve been out looking for me?”
She rolled her eyes, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course. People really care about you, you know. Arthur especially. But,” she pressed down on your good shoulder, making you lay down flat on the bed, “you need sleep. Javier’ll find him in no time. He’ll be here when you wake.” 
Your hand in hers was the last thing you remember before sleep overcame you.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
“Nothing here,” Charles shouted from a closeby building as Arthur investigated the small hut, long since abandoned, the rotting floorboards barely holding him as he searched.
Opening the final room and meeting only dust bunnies and brown rats, he holstered his gun, his increasing anxiety causing his heart to beat wildly. “Same here,” he shouted back, exiting the building with a huff, sitting down on the dilapidated staircase as Charles approached him. 
He was getting desperate at this point. They had searched what felt like every abandoned campsite and building, no sign of you or O’Driscolls anywhere. Not allowing himself to go down a rabbit hole, he pulled out his map, spreading it across his lap so Charles could look as well. With his pencil, he crossed off their current location, another X added to the page.
Weariness was also starting to take a toll on him, not as alert as he was days prior, the same going for Charles, but neither of them would be able to stop until they’d found you. Muttering under his breath, he scanned the map for their next location, reaching for his revolver when he heard the sound of fast hoof beats approaching the two of them.
Glancing up, a familiar black and white horse whizzed past, skidding to a halt as the rider practically jumped off, running up to the startled duo.
Javier stood before them, hair in disarray, panting as heavily as his horse, who gladly took a break from a straight dash from camp. Arthur couldn’t read the man’s expression, and he stood up warily, the map falling somewhere in the dirt. There was only reason why Javier was here, a fact that Arthur and Charles seemed to understand at the same time, anxiously waiting for the man to speak.
“She’s home.”
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
A new hand held yours when you woke.
It was significantly larger than Miss Grimshaw’s, strong callouses adorning the fingers, yet despite that roughness it held your hand like it was the most precious thing in the world.
When it felt you begin to stir, it held on a little tighter, a sigh of relief coming from the owner. Groggily, you opened your eyes slightly, almost immediately wanting to close them as the sunlight streaming from the entrance of the tent nearly blinded you, and you tried rolling over, crying out in pain as you rolled on to your left shoulder, having completely forgotten about the wound there.
“Easy there, princess,” Arthur murmured, the low gravel of his voice music to your ears. 
Moving slowly, you glanced over to your side, smiling gently at the rugged cowboy who held your hand. “Hello-” a coughing fit wracked your body, throat dry from dehydration. Within seconds Arthur was right at your side, using his free hand to prop you up, rubbing your back as you coughed. 
After a few seconds the fit subsided. Groaning, you rubbed at your eyes, your hair falling around your face. Arthur’s hand moved from your back, and you nearly let out a noise of complaint until he presented you with a waterskin, which you gladly took and began to greedily gulp down.
The water, despite being a tad bit warm, felt amazing, some of it spilling from your mouth and onto your lap. As you drank, you heard him call out for Miss Grimshaw, loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to startle you. Within seconds the tent flaps swished open, Miss Grimshaw standing with her hands on her hips as she looked you up and down, a small smile on her face. “Well, it’s about time you woke up.”
She pressed her hand against your face, feeling for any sort of fever. “How’re you feeling?”
Bringing down the water skin, which Arthur took away to stop you from making yourself sick from drinking too much. “I feel like I was hit by a train. Everything hurts.”
Removing her hand from your face, she quickly left the tent, returning moments later with a tonic in her hands, opening and offering it to you. “For the pain,” she simply said, gesturing for you to drink it.
It burned as it went down, the bitter concoction instigating another coughing fit, luckily shorter than the other. Arthur took the empty bottle from your hands, tossing it behind him somewhere in the tent as Miss Grimshaw sat in front of you on the cot, beginning to remove the bandage that now covered your left shoulder.
Glancing down, you noticed that someone had cleaned you, the grime from the O’Driscolls basement nowhere to be seen, replaced by a fresh nightgown and clear skin. Well, clear in the sense that there wasn’t a speck of dirt on you. Various cuts, bruises, and burns adorned your body, most of them having already scabbed and on the way to be completely healed. Only a few were bandaged up, the worst being the gunshot wound on your shoulder.
While you had taken in the state of your body, Miss Grimshaw had been able to fully remove the bandage from your shoulder, and you let out a wince as the air hit the wound. The wound, you saw, wasn’t infected, but it was irritated, glaring red as Miss Grimshaw applied a slave to it, tears pricking your eyes at the pain. 
You felt Arthur begin to rub your hand soothingly, murmuring small praises as she redressed the injury. “You’re healing well. Won’t be too long until you're back on your feet,” Miss Grimshaw spoke, brushing her hands on her skirt as she stood. “Just make sure you’re getting lots of rest, drinking lots of water, and eating good food. That one right there will make sure you do,” she winked at Arthur, who looked away embarrassed. “I’ll let the others know you’re awake. Visitors, or no?” When you shook your head no, she nodded in understanding. Turning to leave, she paused right at the entrance, before glancing back over at you. “It’s good to see you awake, dear.”
Before you could get a chance to respond, she left, leaving you and Arthur alone, still holding each other's hands. You felt your hair, which still hung around your face, begin to move as Arthur tucked it behind your ear, smiling lightly as he finally was able to make eye contact with you. There was obvious relief in his eyes, but something vulnerable there as well. You noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes, and noticing the chair pulled up to the side of your bed, as well as some of his personal belongings sitting beside him, you were able to quickly piece together that Arthur had been at your side the entire time you slept. 
An unfamiliar yet not unwelcome pang hit your heart as you took in the man beside you, the man who was unyieldingly devoted to you, and the man you were so helplessly in love with. In any other circumstance, you would have pushed those thoughts away, but now you let them wash over you, sweeping away all the ache in your bones. You felt yourself smiling brightly at the cowboy, the cuts on your face making their presence known as the skin moved, but you couldn’t care less. All that mattered right now was Arthur. 
Glancing down at your entwined hands, you let out a content sigh, before bringing his knuckles up to your lips, giving them a quick kiss before letting it fall back to your lap. Your heart hammered fast in your chest as you opened your mouth, ready to spill your most closely guarded secret to the man beside you. “I’m-”
“I’m sorry,” Arthur said at the same time, his louder voice covering yours, the confession stuck between your lips as you sealed them back up, and you furrowed your brows, momentarily forgetting what you were about to do. 
“I’m sorry.” Arthur went to stand up, his stoic mask back up, trying to disentangle your hand from his, but you held on as tight as you could, stopping him from pulling away completely. “I’ll… I’ll leave you be now. Said you didn’t want visitors.”
“You know damn well that doesn’t mean you, Arthur Morgan,” you nearly growled, your voice scratchy as you tried to pull him back down to his seat. When he didn’t budge, you sighed, tugging lightly at him. “Please stay,” you whispered, and you could see the war being fought in his head as he stood there, unmoving. 
A minute passed before he relented, letting you drag him back down to his seat with what strength you had. He was looking at you, but he wasn’t making eye contact, instead taking in every injury on your body that you had obtained at the hands of the O’Driscolls, squeezing your hand tighter as his gaze settled on your shoulder. 
“I’m sorry,” you heard him apologize for the third time, and you just shook your head at him.
“And I still don’t know what you’re apologizing for, mister. You weren’t the one to do this to me, right?”
“God, no,” he replied, visibly disgusted at the notion. 
“Then you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Shaking his head, you saw him bring himself closer to you, the chair gliding through the pelt that lined the floor of your tent. “I knew it was a trap. If I hadn’t made you-”
You cut him off by pressing your finger to his lips, silencing him as his eyes widened in shock and disbelief. “We all knew it was a trap, Arthur. But the thought of having any sort of peace with the O’Driscolls made us turn a blind eye. And you didn’t make me do anything. I went of my own free will. And besides,” you removed your finger, failing to notice how his eyes had darkened slightly during the whole action. “If it wasn’t me who got taken, then it would’ve been you or the others. It was inevitable.” 
“It shouldn’t’ve happened.”
You shrugged. “Maybe not. But it did. It’s done now. We gotta move on now.”
“Next time I’ll be doing overwatch.”
“Like hell you are,” you scoffed, some of the tension leaving the conversation. “I’m the better shot, anyway.”
Arthur raised his eyebrows, leaning back slightly in his chair away from you. You tried to not look disappointed. “Is that so?”
“Yup,” you nodded vehemently, smirking slightly. “Best shot in the camp, hands down.”
“Uh-huh. Wanna go prove that to me then?”
“I ain’t got nothing to prove to you, Arthur, and you know it,” you laughed.
“Nah, you’re right,” he conceded. “You’re incredible.”
The total honesty in his voice caught you off guard, and you felt a slight flush creep up your face, no doubt turning your cheeks dark. Glancing away, the two of you fell into an easy silence that only came with him, and he mindlessly stroked your hand. 
A few moments had passed before you looked back up at him, a crease in his brow, deep in thought, barely even registering your movement as he hung his head low. Shaking his hand slightly, you were able to get him to look up at you, giving him an easy smile. “What’s on your mind, cowboy?”
Looking like a fish out of water with the way his mouth gaped, he rubbed the back of his neck, no longer looking you in the eye as he fumbled with the words he was trying to say. It was almost silly, seeing the deadly man before you, someone who could send a person running with only a glance, at a loss of words. “Why’re you nervous? It’s just me,” you reassured him. 
Or at least you tried to reassure him, your words stressing him more than relaxing him. “How’d you…” be began, trailing off shortly thereafter. 
“I’m a mind reader.”
“You ain’t a mind reader. If you was, then I wouldn’t have to sit here, stumbling over my words like an idiot trying to figure out how to tell you…” he trailed off again, sighing anxiously, his face almost beet red. 
“You’re not an idiot,” you chided, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, your knees knocking against Arthur’s. You ignored the butterflies erupting in your stomach at the proximity, bringing your hand up to cup the side of his face to bring his gaze back to yours. You tried to move your hand away but he caught it, keeping it pressed against his cheek. “And, even if I could read your mind, I’d wanna hear it from your lips anyway.”
He pressed his forehead against yours, collecting his thoughts for a moment. “I’ve been… I’ve been real scared to tell you this, you know. Everytime I try, the words just don’t come out right, and I ain’t too keen on making a fool of myself in front of you. I just… I hope this don’t change things between us… I don’t think I’d be able to live without you by my side. And if you don’t feel the same… which I pray that you do… then we never have to talk about this again. We’ll just move on, like you said.”
He pressed a quick kiss to the inside of your wrist, his beard pleasantly tickling the sensitive skin. A little gasp left your lips, the cowboy chuckling in response. But he didn’t continue speaking, his own anxieties halting his words. You knew what he was going to say; it was on the tip of his tongue. He just needed a push. 
“Do you love me?” You asked, voice barely louder than a whisper. 
Arthur nodded, gazing at you like you hung the moon and the stars. 
“Then say it. I promise you, nothing bad is gonna come from it.”
“How is that you make me feel so calm yet terrified?” Arthur sighed gently. “When you were taken… it made me realize how big a fool I really am for you. And I almost didn’t get to tell you… I was ready to tear down every O’Driscoll until you were back home. But you went and saved yourself, cause of course you did. I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said you was incredible. You’re back home now, so now I get to tell you I love you. I really, really do.”
He let out a shaky exhale, a visible weight being let off his shoulders. “I have for a while now… but I just kept pushing it away and denying it. After what happened the last time I bared my heart out for someone, I was scared of it happenin’ again. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me… but a part of me refused to let me feel this way. I’m… I’m not a good man. I’ve done bad things, I’ve hurt people. Maybe I don’t deserve you, but I’m selfish enough to want you anyway. If you want me too, then I will spend the rest of our time together proving that I am worthy enough to be by your side.”
“Oh, Arthur,” you felt tears beginning to well up after finally hearing the words you’ve been waiting for for some time. “You silly man. I love you, too.” Despite the tears, you were smiling brightly, a similar expression mirrored on Arthur. You felt giddy, laughter bubbling from your lips. “I love you so much, and there is nothing you could do that would change that. And you don’t have to prove anything to me. The man right here is all I need.”
Blue eyes looked down at your lips, the distance between the two of you was so close yet so far, lips merely inches from your own with your foreheads connected. You watched as Arthur wet his lips, looking back up into your eyes with a look of longing. 
“May I kiss-'' your lips pressed against his before he could finish the question, silencing him the way you wish you could have earlier. The cowboy let out a surprised grunt, the momentum of your body pressing against his nearly sending him backwards, his hat sitting precariously on his head. It only took him a second to recover from the shock before his lips moved, plush but chapped yet perfect in every sense. 
Using the hand still cupped to his face, you moved it behind, scratching your nails lightly up the back of his neck before tangling your fingers in the short hair, tugging slightly. A delicious whine left Arthur, mouth parting slightly against yours as the kiss deepened. You felt his hold on your hand leave, instead grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him so you were practically on his lap.
All you could think about was Arthur. He flooded every sense, every fiber of your being fully enraptured by the man. So enraptured, in fact, that you temporarily forgot the trauma that your body had just been subjected to, so when you tried to use your left arm to situate yourself better, a shock of pain overtook you, forcing you to break away from his lips with a pained groan. 
Immediately, whatever love fueled haze had flooded the two of you dissipated, leaving a concerned Arthur holding you as pain tore through your body, before dissolving into an incessant ache. “Shit… sorry,” you were panting, out of breath for two incredibly different reasons. 
“Nothing to apologize for. You alright?”
“Got a little eager,” you smiled a tad bit sheepishly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”
“So we’ve both been fools this entire time?” When you nodded, he laughed, partially in disbelief. “And only a little eager?” he jested, rubbing his scalp tenderly. 
“Yeah… sorry.”
“And I said there was nothing to apologize for. Besides,” he brought his lips close to your ear, voice rumbling as he spoke. “I like it when it hurts a bit.” He sat up, pressing a kiss to your temple before doing so. 
The implications were not lost on you, yet you still found yourself staring wide-eyed at him. Noticing your hesitation, he backpedaled slightly. “If that’s alright. I don’t wanna force ya… or make you uncomfortable…”
“I’d like that, very much. Just not now, though. I’m exhausted.”
“It’s alright. We don’t gotta to do anything until you’re ready.” With a gentle smile, he gave you a quick kiss, pulling away too quickly for your liking. When you pouted slightly, he chuckled and shook his head. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later. You, princess, need rest.” You sighed, and with Arthur’s help you situated yourself back on the cot, still sitting up as he fixed the pillows behind you.
“Will you lay with me?” You thought he was going to say no, but he instead started toeing off his boots, setting them beside the bed before sitting behind you. A firm arm wrapped around your front, pulling you down to lay atop of him, your head resting comfortably on his chest. He kissed the crown of your head, and you snuggled into the man. The smell of him, a mix of gunpowder, leather, and something woodsy, filled your nose, lulling you into a relaxed state.
“I love you,” you mumbled out, face partially buried into his shirt. Gentle fingers combed through your hair, a pleased sigh leaving you as your eyes fluttered close. 
“I love you, too. Now, rest. You’ve got a long few weeks ahead of ya.”
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
The first day of your recovery was the worst. Not because of the aches in your body, but the fact that everyone in camp had decided to come see you sometime in the day. You were grateful, yes, but it was exhausting. As nice as it was, a  part of you just wished all the attention on you would go away. One more sympathetic look and you were going to throttle someone. 
Dutch came in first that morning (with your permission), two cups of coffee in his hands as he sauntered in. He looked a bit caught off guard when he saw Arthur sitting behind you, still partially asleep in your cot as you sat up in the bed. After the initial shock wore off, a large shit-eating grin took over his face.  
Setting one of the cups on the nightstand, he roughly patted the cowboy on his shoulder, who practically yelped at the sudden aggressive contact. “Atta boy, Arthur!” his boisterous laugh shook the tent, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the expense of Arthur. “Took you long enough. Thought you’d never grow the balls to tell her.” 
In a sudden change, his face took on a serious expression as he leaned down close to Arthur, talking quietly enough for only the other man to hear. Whatever he said must’ve scared Arthur, his face turning a few shades paler. But within moments laughter returned to the black haired man who now had his full attention on you, handing you a cup of coffee which you gratefully took. “It is good to see you up, dear. Nothing can keep you down can it?”
“Not so sure about nothing, but O’Driscolls sure as hell can’t.”
“No ma’am,” he chuckled, pulling up and sitting in the chair that Arthur was in last night. “And trust me when I say they’ll regret ever touching a single hair on you.”
You nodded, lightly sipping the hot beverage in your hands. “Just don’t do it without me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Standing up, he gestured to the drink on the nightstand. “Help yourself to that Arthur. It was mine, but I wasn’t expecting you to have… company this morning. Now, get better quickly. Can’t have my best shot out of commision for too long.” With that, Dutch left your tent, Arthur giving a sigh of relief when he did. 
Glancing over at Arthur with an I told you so look, you found him still paler than normal, shifting uncomfortably behind you. Snuggling up into his arms seemed to snap him out of partially, but you still saw his eyes flicking across the room, like he was expecting danger to pop out from anywhere. “What’d Dutch say?” you asked, Arthur’s arms wrapping around you as your face buried into his shoulder. 
“I… nothing important, trust me,” he muttered, trying to brush over the question. Not taking that as an answer, you tilted your head to the side so you could look up at him, an unimpressed look on your face. Sighing, you felt his lips press a kiss to your forehead before he responded. “Let’s just say you got some… uh… guardians around camp.”
“Aw. That’s sweet.”
“Not so sweet when you’re the one getting threatened with gelding tongs,” you heard him mutter, and Arthur’s panicked look made a whole lot more sense now. You couldn’t help the giggles that erupted from you. 
“Did- did Dutch threaten you, Arthur?” you barely managed to get out. His answering sigh was all you needed for confirmation, and you felt another fit of laughter overtake you. Arthur wasn’t long to stay upset, feeling his chest rumble with a light laugh. 
“He’s always kept me in line. As best he could, anyway. But that’s enough about me. How’re you feeling, princess?” He sat beside you on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around you gingerly. Pulling you down, you felt him pull you towards him, giving you a kiss atop your head. 
“I’m feeling like I’m gonna be sick of that question soon.”
You swore you could hear him roll his eyes. “Just answer the question.”
With an exaggerated huff, you turned so you were facing, his arm and hand now in your lap. You intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m okay. Just really sore.”
“And…” Arthur tapped lightly on your forehead. “How ‘bout there?”
“Surprisingly alright. I… I don’t really remember too much, to be honest.”
“Well, that’s good. But, if something changes, or you need… ‘dunno… someone to talk to, let me know. I ain’t the best with words… but I can listen pretty well.”
“Thank you, Arthur.” With a smile, you pressed your lips against his cheek, the slight prickle from his beard tickling you. He didn’t let you move back too far, however. A light hand cupped the back of your head, keeping you steady, but not strong enough to keep you from moving if you wished. 
“And you said you was the best shot in camp. You missed.” Arthur had an almost cheeky smile on his face. 
Scoffing in fake indignation, you kissed him, a satisfied hum leaving the cowboy as your lips made contact. His one hand still made contact with your head, the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Running your own through his soft hair, another satisfied noise left him, and you pulled back with a pleased smile. “There. Happy?”
“Very. Now c’mere…” he said with a playful growl, before peppering kisses across your face, neck, and shoulders, being mindful of your injuries. You found yourself giggling as he continued his attack, turning into a yelp when you felt him nip lightly at your jaw. Lightly swatting at his shoulder, he moved back, still holding you gently. “You make me so happy, don’t you ever think otherwise.” With a final brush of his lips against yours, you watched his eyes flick behind you where the entrance to your tent was. Turning around, you saw Hosea standing there, tonic in one hand, a book in the other. 
Sitting back down at the edge of the bed, you gestured for the older man to come in, a soft look on his face as he sat in the chair in front of you. “So that’s why you weren’t at your tent, Arthur,” he commented, and the younger cowboy sheepishly looked away. “You’re looking better. At least, better than you did twelve hours ago. How’re you feeling?”
Fighting the urge to bash your head into the nearest hard surface, you gave him the same response you gave Arthur. With a nod, he handed you the tonic, the greenish bottle filled to the top with liquid. “For the pain. And,” he handed you the book, “For the boredom.”
It was a copy of A Cristmas Carol, a brand new one at that. You knew that Hosea was quite the reader, so it came as no surprise that he knew where the name of your horse came from. “I know it’s nowhere near Christmas time, but I hope it will bring you some comfort.”
“It will. I… Thank you, Hosea.”
“You’re very welcome, dear. Is there anything else you need?”
“I think… I think I’d like some food. Let me just…” with your feet planted on the ground, you tried to stand up, the idea of a fresh meal urging you to leave your bed. As soon as you were fully upright, however, the world began to spin. Two arms caught you before you made contact with the floor, Arthur having stood up when you did, and he eased you back down to the bed. 
At this point, Hosea was on his feet too, his hands planted on his hips like a parent would when scolding their child. “You’re in no state to be moving. Me ‘n’ Arthur will get your food for you. Just stay here.” Patting your right shoulder affectionately, he beckoned Arthur with a nod, the two of them leaving your tent together after Arthur put his boots back on. 
You calling out Arthur’s names stopped the cowboy in his tracks, a concerned look on his face as he turned to face you. “Please take some time for yourself. Change your clothes, take a bath, something like that.”
“You sayin’ I smell?”
“I’m sayin’ you smell like you haven’t been at camp for a few days. Now go.”
“Alright, princess,” Arthur laughed, a grin on his face as he left the tent.
For the first time since you’d been back, you were alone. The tent was eerily silent, the only noise your breathing and the rustling of sheets as you got back into bed, sitting up against the pillows. Grimacing, you downed the entire tonic bottle, the liquid bitter as ever. You set the empty glass on your nightstand, your throat already going numb from the ingredients. 
Waiting for Hosea to return with food, you thought over the events of the last couple of days. Most of it was hazy, in your brain. The only things you remembered were flashes of pain and the voices of the O’Driscolls. Everything else was gone, just blank spaces in your memory. Rubbing your face with your hand, you winced slightly as you pressed down a little too hard at what you assumed was a bruise on your cheekbone. You realized you had yet to see your face, unaware of the damage done to it. 
Sighing, you barely noticed that Hosea was back in the tent with you, a bowl of hot stew in his hands, the smell causing saliva to begin pooling in your mouth. Handing you the bowl, along with a fresh skin of water, the man returned to the chair next to you. 
“Don’t get too lost in those thoughts of yours. It’ll be hard to get you back out.”
“It’s not like there’s many thoughts in there anyway. I hardly remember anything that happened. I can’t tell if that should be concerning or relieving.” You said through spoonfuls of food, the temperature of it burning your mouth. 
“Did they do anything… untoward to you?” Hosea asked, hesitating slightly. 
You shrugged. “If they did, I don’t remember. But I don’t think so, saying nothing hurts down there.”
The older gunslinger let out a small sigh, his body relaxing some in relief. “Well, we can take some assurance that they aren’t animals.” He fell silent, giving you a few moments to eat. “Don’t be too worried about your memories. It’s common for our minds to shut out events that happened to us. Whether you want them to come back, however, is up to debate. Some events aren’t worth remembering.”
He fell silent again, lost in thought as you took another bite of your food. You were getting full now, your stomach not used to having so much food in it. You sat the bowl, which still had about half its contents left, on your nightstand. At the clattering of the bowl, Hosea seemed to snap out of whatever headspace he was in, giving you a small smile as he took the bowl. “Thank you,” he said while standing up, and you gave him a confused look.
“Thank you for coming back to us. To the gang. Lord knows what would happen to us if we lost you. Don’t know what would happen to Arthur, either.” He laughed humorlessly while shaking his head. “We’re all proud of you. I’m proud of you. You’re tougher than most, that’s for sure.” With a final kind smile, he left, leaving you, and your tears, to your lonesome again. Sipping lightly from the waterskin he left you, a gentle warmth growing in your chest from Hosea’s words. 
It seemed like the universe still didn’t want you to be alone, however, because before you could even collect yourself, a small body came barreling into your tent, a larger one following with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m so sorry,” Abigail began, trying to usher an eager Jack out of your space. “When he heard you was awake, he wanted to come see you, and I tried-”
“It’s all good, Abigail. I don’t mind the company.” You tried to brush away the remnants of your tears. Abigail didn’t see, or if she did, she didn’t make a comment about it. Either way, you were grateful.
An eager Jack stood beside your bed, a wide grin on his face. Stretching out his arms, he held in his fists a small bouquet of wildflowers, with various flower types that ranged from all sorts of different colors. Pressing a hand over your heart, you gratefully took the bouquet from Jack. “For me? Thank you, Jack. They’re beautiful. You wanna help me put them somewhere safe?”
When the boy nodded, you handed him the waterskin, and he held it like it was the most important thing in his life. Grabbing the empty tonic bottle from your nightstand, you held it in your lap. “Pour a small amount of water in, so I can get the old stuff out first.”
After doing what you asked, you swished the water around the bottle, clearing out any extra tonic residue that might be left over. Pouring it out somewhere behind your bed (avoiding the pelt that acted as your carpet), you gestured for him to refill the bottle again. This time, instead of dumping it back out, you placed the small bouquet in it, the opening of the bottle barely big enough to hold all the flowers. Carefully you put the bottle back on the nightstand, and when it didn’t tip over, you let out a celebratory clap. 
“Look how pretty those are, Jack! You picked out the best flowers.”
“I hope they make you feel better, Auntie Morgan. Ma says you got hurt real bad.”
“I bet they will,” you replied, not even registering what he said until a few seconds later. “Auntie Morgan? Where’d that come from?” 
Jack shrugged, and you saw Abigail give you yet another apologetic look. “Well, I saw Uncle Arthur leave your tent, and he never did that before. And Ma told me that when someone has a tent with someone, it means they are dating! And when you are dating, you have the same last name! So that means you are now Auntie Morgan!” 
“Oh… I mean… well…” You’re sure your face was significantly darker than it was moments ago as you stumbled over your words. 
“Jack!” Abigail reprimanded, a horrified look on her face at Jack’s comment. “I’m… I’m so sorry, I just… that’s the only way I knew how to explain it to Jack when he asked.”
“Well, you’re not entirely wrong. We are… I think.”
“You… you are? When you nodded, Abigail gasped excitedly. “Oh, well that’s wonderful! I’m happy for you!” She hugged you gently before taking a step back by her son. “It’s about time…” she teased, and you rolled your eyes. 
“I told you she was Auntie Morgan, Ma!”
“Not quite yet, Jack. We’re not married. Only married people have each other’s last names,” you tried to explain. 
“So are you gonna marry Uncle Arthur then?”
Thank goodness you hadn’t decided to take a drink of your water, or else it would've been spat out at his question. Your face felt flame hot at this point, and you nervously picked at your nails. “We’ve only just started dating, Jack. I… He hasn’t asked me that question yet.”
“Do you want to marry Uncle Arthur?”
“That’s enough!” Abigail practically jumped to cover Jack’s mouth. You laughed at Jack’s lack of filter despite your growing flustered state. With her hands on his shoulders, she led Jack outside, returning by her lonesome a short while later. Sighing, she sat on the side of your bed. “Sorry ‘bout that, again.”
With a wave, you dismissed her concerns. “It made me laugh.” You could tell she was itching to say something, but couldn’t tell if it was rude or not. “Me and Arthur spoke last night. We… confessed some things to each other, and, well, you heard what I said. There’s… something between us.”
“I really am happy for you,” she smiled at you, taking your hand in hers. “You two are good for each other. Being close with someone, in this life, it ain’t easy. But that don’t mean it ain’t worth it. Treasure the moments you have together, and take time for you both. Be there for each other, but don’t be fully dependent on the other. Communicate, even if it’s hard. Lord knows I know that all too well.” An almost regretful look crossed her features, a tiny frown pulling at her lips, as if reminiscing over past mistakes between her and John. 
“And, if he breaks your heart, which I pray he never does, just know that there is a camp full of nasty outlaws that would do anything for you. Myself included,” she added, a playful look replacing the old one.
“Thank you, Abigail.” 
With a final squeeze of your hand, Abigail stood up, brushing out the creases in her skirt. “I’ll try my best to stop Jack from saying too much ‘bout the two of you. But, be ready for anything.” As she exited the tent, you could hear Jack loudly talking to someone about the conversation he just had with you. Groaning, you flopped your head back, praying that someone wasn’t Arthur. 
The rest of that first day was filled with rest broken up by people coming to visit you. Charles had come in about twenty minutes after Abigail, and the two of you had chatted for a good while, catching up on his and Arthur’s adventure to find you. He had also gifted you a small whittled version of your horse, the wood stained to match his black and white coat. You had accepted the gift with gratitude, setting it by your flowers after staring at it in your hands for a long while. 
Arthur had come back during Charle’s visit, freshly bathed and with new clothes on. His hair was still slightly damp as he stood awkwardly at the entrance, not wanting to barge in on your conversation. Gesturing him further inside, you then patted the bed behind you where he was before, moving further up so there was more space for him.
As he came over, he patted Charles on his shoulder, joining into the conversation with a few additions to the story as he slid into the bed behind you. You didn’t fully lay against him, not wanting to get too affectionate in front of your friend and making him uncomfortable. Charles only stayed a few minutes after that, giving you a light hug before leaving the two of you. 
Reclining fully against Arthur’s chest, you let out a pleased sigh as you felt him embrace you. “Y’know, I heard some crazy things from Jack not too long ago.” You felt him laugh as your head rolled back defeatedly, eyes closed. 
“He’s definitely Marston’s kid, that’s for sure. Nosy little…” you grumbled, and you felt him laugh again. 
“He’s not the only one. Mary-Beth and the girls nearly jumped me after they saw me leave. Barely made it down to the river in one piece.”
“How’d you survive?”
“John got ‘em off my back. Then, once the other’s were out of earshot, began hounding me with his own questions. I swear, the whole camp is a bunch of high society folks who got nothing to do but gossip all day.”
“Can’t fault them. It’s not everyday that the gang has a new couple in it.” You hadn’t meant for the term couple to slip out. You knew there was something between the two of you, but you feared putting a label on it. Slowly opening your eyes, you tried to gauge Arthur’s facial expression, but to no avail. You remembered Abigail’s words about communication, so you took the leap of faith. “We… Are we a couple? Are we… dating?” It felt juvenile to use the word dating, but you knew no other way to ask.
“Yes?” Arthur replied almost immediately, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
Oh. You felt a little silly, and you closed your eyes again, avoiding Arthur’s confused glance. 
“Unless…” you could hear the panic and disappointment in his voice, and you immediately reopened your eyes, lifting out of his embrace to turn and face him fully.
“No, we are! It’s just, you… we never said that we were, like, official, and I didn’t want to put a label on it and make you uncomfortable and I really want to be yours but I don’t want to push you into somethin’ if you’re not ready for it and… what?” Your rambling was cut short by the fond yet amused look on Arthur’s face.
“I’m more than ready for this. Trust me. I want this. I want you.” 
“Okay,” you nodded, kissing him quickly, before laying back down on Arthur, this time facing his chest, your face burrowed in the crook of his neck. You felt his hand rub up and down your back, pressing kisses on the top of your head as you settled in. You were starting to feel sleepy, a mix of the food, tonic, and Arthur lulling you back to unconsciousness. 
“You smell good,” you mumbled, voiced half muffled by his neck.
“Do I meet your standards, princess?” 
“Y’always do, pretty boy.”
“Pretty boy?” Arthur scoffed lightly. 
“Very pretty. Prettiest boy I’ve ever met.”
You felt him shake his head, clearly not believing you, but you could feel his heart rate began to pick up. You didn’t have to look up to know he was blushing. 
“Go ahead and rest. You want me to send away visitors?”
“Only for an hour. Just gonna close my eyes for a bit. Promise me you’ll only let me sleep for a bit. 
“I promise,” was the last thing Arthur said to you before you fell asleep.
By the end of the day, your nightstand and the floor around it was filled with various trinkets and goods from the other gang members; Lenny had brought you your favorite candy; Javier had gotten you a new necklace that he totally hadn’t stolen; Mary-Beth bought you a new shirt, your previous destroyed beyond repair. It was at that point you remembered that your old boots and hat were still at the O’Driscoll’s camp.
To your surprise, even Micah had stopped in, albeit briefly, giving you a quick apology before leaving. You and Arthur had shared a good laugh at that after he was long gone.  As sick as you were at hearing the question “how are you doing”, it was nice to be cared for like this. 
Throughout the day, Arthur stayed by your side, leaving for only a few moments to relieve himself, grab something for you, or to confer with the others in camp. He would call on one of the girls in camp to help you when needed to relieve yourself. Dutch, bless him, didn’t call on Arthur once that day, giving both of you much needed rest. When you weren’t getting visitors or resting, you and Arthur chatted or cuddled in silence. 
Darkness had long since flooded your tent, the lantern hanging unlit in the center of your tent. Laying on your right side, Arthur lay behind you, arm strung across your waist, keeping you pulled close to him. As you closed your eyes, the warmth of the man behind you better than any blanket on the market, you realized there was no way you were ever going to be able to sleep alone again. 
You found yourself fine with that fact.
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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 4 months
Text
Everybody Hurts
Chapter 23
Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader
Summary: You needed to escape, escape from your life, your messy divorce, and all the pitying looks. Looks you couldn't ignore when everyone in town had known you and Cam, had known your shame and failure. So, you took the first job you could get, teaching third grade in a town called Hawkins. Little did you know, you were walking right into another messy situation, a messy situation with big brown eyes and long dark waves. But he's resistant, at times unbearable and you start getting curious about the town's past, his past, especially when things don't start adding up.
18+ Only for eventual smut
Last chapter: 01/31
Word Count: 7.8K
Masterlist
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You pulled off into the grass in front of Eddie’s uncle’s trailer. The small driveway was already filled to capacity with the monstrous truck and the oversized van. Your eyes roamed over the small dwelling with trepidation, wondering once again why in the hell you'd agreed to this, why you were the one who was coming to talk to him. Anyone else had to be a better option than you. 
You'd only known each other a little over a month. Eddie clearly didn’t trust you yet, at least not completely. He definitely didn’t trust you enough to tell you what was haunting him night after night. What would make any of them think that he would be open to spilling his innermost thoughts and fears with you? What could possibly make them believe that you would be the one to get through to him? 
Your arms came to rest on top of the steering wheel, forehead pressed against them as you tried to muster up enough courage to get out of the damn car. Because the minute you did so, the moment the two of you came face-to-face, Eddie was presented with the opportunity to end things, to tell you it was over. If you just stayed in the safety of this car, this little car that he’d so sweetly fixed up for you, then you could stay ignorant. If he didn’t get the chance to end things, then you remained in limbo. 
And you were convinced that was exactly what he would do if given the chance. How many times had he reiterated that the two of you were a bad idea? He was going to run from you as fast and as far as he could, convinced that he didn’t deserve this, didn’t earn the right to be happy, that he was doomed for the rest of his life because of circumstances beyond his control. How would you ever get him to see how wrong he was? What could you say or do to show him how very much he not only deserved happiness, but the entire world?
In such a short time, Eddie had elicited feelings within you, feelings that were stronger and deeper than anything you'd ever felt before. A veritable roller coaster of intense emotions that came out of nowhere and swept you off her feet. It was a wild ride, one you couldn’t stop whether you wanted to or not. If someone would have asked you a few months ago if it was possible to fall in love with someone in just a few weeks, you would have laughed in their face but here you were, completely head over heels.
And that was the problem, that was why you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of this car. Because, ridiculous though it may be, you were already in too deep. The waves were crashing over your head, you didn’t know up from down, swirling in the mass of darkness that was Eddie. The very thought of him ending things, of never looking into those whiskey depths you wanted to drown in, of never running your fingers through those delicious waves, of never being held in those deceivingly strong arms, knocked the wind right out of you. You had already suffered one heartbreak and you'd survived. But you weren't sure if you would make it through losing Eddie. 
How could losing a relationship that lasted thirteen years possibly hurt less than one that had been going on for a few weeks? You didn’t know. There wasn’t a single rational explanation for it. You could never put it into words because you didn’t understand it yourself but there it was. Losing Eddie would hurt worse than losing Cam ever had and whether it was crazy or not, it was the truth. 
Jesus Christ. What were you going to do? What were you going to say? You had been racking your brain the entire ride over here, trying to think up some magic words that would make Eddie see how wrong he was, how wrong this town was. A guy like him didn’t belong in a small town like this, where the people were small-minded, ignorant, set in their antiquated ways of thinking. It wasn’t his fault that he was surrounded by people who couldn’t look beyond clothes and hair to see the good person underneath it all. 
He wasn’t a monster. Eddie Munson was the farthest thing from a monster you could find. He was soft, sweet, nerdy, empathetic, and thoughtful. He put on this armor that was him being a jerk to try to protect himself but that’s all it was, just a thin shell he used to keep people out. Underneath all of that, he was just a little boy that wanted to be loved, that wanted to matter, that wanted acceptance. Was that really such an awful thing to want?
A light rapping on your car window had you jumping with a shriek. Hands clutching your chest, you looked over to see Uncle’s Wayne’s weathered face, a kind smile, and amused eyes peering at you. He chuckled softly, holding both hands up. You released a slow breath of embarrassment at having been startled so easily, reaching for the handle and cranking the window down. 
“Sorry ‘bout that sweetheart. I didn’t mean to startle you or nothing. I just happened to step out for a smoke and saw you sitting in here with your head down. I waited for a bit but when you weren’t getting out, I started to get a bit worried. You okay?”
“Yeah. I actually came to talk to Eddie.”
“Well, you’ll have to get out of that car if you want to do that because I can tell you right now, he ain’t coming out here. I’ve been trying to talk some sense into him all morning but that boy is more stubborn than a damn mule. He don’t want to listen to nothing.”
“Well, then maybe I should just head home. If he’s not listening to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”
Wayne straightened, taking a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes moving to the trailer and then back to you, “Now, I don’t know about that. I have a feeling my nephew might be more inclined to listen to his pretty girlfriend than his old uncle. He’s convinced I don’t know what I’m talking about, like he’s the first one to be tarnished with the name Munson in this town.”
“You too? I guess I just thought that people thought that stuff about him because of his dad.”
“Yeah, well, where do you think my brother learned it?” A long plume of smoke fell from his lips, his hip coming to lean on the side of the car. “My dad was a thief. Cars just like my brother. He’d sell them to this guy at a chop shop for the parts. He taught us how to hotwire at a young age. Well, one day he stole the wrong car off the wrong guy. This guy happened to keep a pistol under his seat and caught my dad right between the eyes.”
“Oh my god…I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
Wayne shrugged, “Well, when you choose the criminal life, you choose the consequences that come with that. Anyway, my mom struggled being all on her own. She worked two jobs just to make ends meet but we still got evicted from our house. She bought a trailer in this shitty park because it’s what she could afford and that’s where we grew up. Don’t think the kids in this place were any nicer then than they are now.”
“Are they ever?”
“True. We were the trailer park trash, you know. Our mom had to shop at thrift stores so we were always wearing whatever she could get for cheap. It was often too big so we could wear it for a while before she had to buy more. Sometimes our stuff had holes she’d try to mend or stains she hadn’t been able to get out in the wash. We always packed our lunch. Nothing fancy. Just some bologna on Wonder Bread. Maybe some pretzels if she could swing it. But those kids teased us something fierce. White trash, trailer park trash, Oliver Twist, bums…and the shit they said about our mom…” He sighed, shaking his head, those kind eyes saddened as painful memories revisited him. “Anyway, my brother refused to live that life anymore. He swore he would make himself a bunch of money and get out of here. But then he met Ed’s mom and she got pregnant. I tried to tell him that he needed to grow up and get his shit together, to be a father, someone his son could be proud of. But he had it in his head that the only way to make his son proud was to make lots of money. Clearly, he didn’t learn anything because he went down the same exact path our dad had. And then Ed’s mom…it was just too hard for her. She wasn’t strong like my mom. I tried to help her but she was too far gone. She couldn’t…I’ll never forgive myself for letting that boy see the things he did.”
“That’s not your fault,” you assured him, your hand slipping through the window to rest on the older man’s arm. “Eddie told me you tried to take him but she wouldn’t let you. There was nothing you could do without going through the proper channels. You could have wound up in jail if you’d just taken him. Even if it would have been the best thing for him, it would still have been kidnapping.”
“Yeah. I know. But I knew she was heading down a dark road. I knew he wasn’t safe. I went and talked to a lawyer but money was tight for me too, you know? It wasn’t a fast road because I had to save a bit up so I could afford the fees. I just wasn’t fast enough.”
“You saved him. Eddie thinks the world of you. You’re the one person who has always been there for him, who has always had his back, who has always believed in him. You’re everything to him. That’s why I don’t think he’ll listen to anything I say. If he won’t listen to you, he’s definitely not going to listen to me.”
“Now, I don’t know about that,” Wayne countered, tossing his Marlboro on the ground before grinding it down with his foot. “You’ve brought about a change in my boy, a change I haven’t seen in too long. To be frank, a change that means more to me than just about anything in this world. He’s been unhappy…hell, he’s not even been living since all that nonsense with those murders. He’s just been going through the motions for a long time. Ever since he saw that girl die and this town wasted no time accusing him for it, he’s not been the same. Ed was sad for a long time after his mom but he always had this…this spark about him, I guess. He was animated. Boy could not tell a story without his hands getting involved in the telling too. He was loud as hell, always playing on that guitar or yelling about something, talked a mile a minute, that kid. I had trouble keeping up half the time. He could be downright obnoxious. Back then I would have given anything for him to be quiet for just a little while. But after everything, I would have sold my soul to get that rowdy kid back. You did that.”
“I didn’t do anything, not really,” you insisted, shaking your head. Your fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, gripping it tight as a shadow moved behind the curtain in the trailer. Eddie. He was right there, so close, and your body pulled toward him, compelling you to go to him but you stayed rooted in your seat, your fear winning. 
“Don’t sell yourself short there, darling. I saw it from the moment he brought you here to look at that old car. Which, by the way, he did a hell of a job on. I hardly recognized it. Took me a moment to realize who was sitting outside my place. But the way he looked at you, I ain’t never seen that boy look at anything like that before, not even that damn guitar and his eyes lit up like firecrackers when he opened that thing.”
You laughed, rolling your eyes, your hand coming up to nervously brush your hair behind your ear, “Now I know you’re seeing things because he was mad at me that day. I asked if this was where he grew up and he got bristly, expecting me to judge him.”
“No. He got bristly because he liked you and he feared you’d look down on him like everyone else once you knew his past. That boy looked at you like you were the sun, like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I knew you were something special right then.”
“I don’t think that’s…”
Wayne held up his hand, skin worn from years of hard labor just inches from your face, “You need to stop thinking so hard. I’ve known that boy his whole life and I know what I saw. Ed hasn’t ever brought a girl around here. Trust me. You’re something special and a girl like that, when a man feels a certain kind of way about her, that girl can convince him to do just about anything.” Grabbing onto the handle, Wayne pulled open the car door. “So, you think you’re ready to go in there and give it a shot? Maybe do what I couldn’t? I’d sure appreciate it.”
Blue eyes that you just couldn’t bring yourself to disappoint begged you to try. You had two choices. You could tell him no, drive out of here, and hope someone else reached Eddie. But what would he think if you just avoided him? Would he assume that you didn’t want him? That you believed all that bullshit about him? No. You couldn’t let him think that. 
So, choice number two it was. You had to push back all the fear of what could happen, walk into that trailer, and tell him who he was. Tell him the man you saw, the man you wanted, the man you loved. Maybe you didn’t use that word just yet. The man had enough scares for a lifetime in the last twenty-four hours. Your irrationally intense feelings could wait. No reason to make him leave an Eddie shaped hole in the side of the trailer as he tried to run from your insanity. 
“Alright,” you finally said softly. “I’ll try but I’m not making any promises.”
“Not asking you to, but listen.” His hand came to rest on your shoulder, even more lines appearing on his forehead as he furrowed his brow. “Don’t you let my nephew push you away, okay? He’s gonna try. I know he is because he’s just as stubborn as I am. But he don’t mean a damn word of whatever bullshit he’s going to spout at you about why you shouldn’t be with him. He’s gonna think it’s for your own good. But if you care for him the way I think you do, push right back.”
You gave him a tight lipped smile, your hand covering his, “That’s the plan.”
“You in this for the long haul, honey?”
“I’d like to be. Eddie…” Your lips pressed together, wet emotion clinging to your lashes. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him and I was with my ex for a long time. I can’t explain it. I know it’s nuts. We haven’t known each other that long but I…well, I am crazy about him. And I don’t want to lose him.”
“Then don’t and nothing you said is crazy. Maybe that other guy, your ex, wasn’t the one you were supposed to be with. Maybe your heart just recognized the person who completed it when it saw him. Maybe it looked and went, this is what was missing. Because, I gotta tell you, I think you’re what was missing for my boy.”
You grinned, teeth showing, at the older man’s words. You'd never thought of it like that. Could that be how it worked? Cam clearly had not been the right choice. If he had been, he wouldn’t have strayed because you would have been enough for him. Could it be that something within you, your heart or soul or whatever it was, saw him and went, oh there you are. It recognized him, as if he were the piece that it needed to be complete. Could that be why your feelings for him were so strong, so fast?
“He’s definitely the piece I’ve been missing,” you told him. 
“Then maybe it’s time you tell him that,” Wayne called over his shoulder as he ambled toward his truck, pulling open the door and climbing up into the driver’s seat. 
“Where are you going?”
“Well, damndest thing, I just remembered that 8 Ball is almost out of cat food. Think I would have thought of that earlier.”
Throwing you a wink, his hand giving a short wave out of the window, elbow resting on the frame, Wayne backed out and drove away, leaving you standing in front of the trailer. There was no way he just randomly decided to get cat food. He was trying to give you some privacy for this conversation with Eddie. Maybe he just didn’t want to be there when Eddie crushed you or lost his shit on you for being too pushy. Either way, you were on her own now. 
Taking a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever outcome awaited you, you turned to face the trailer. A long shadow appeared behind the curtain, disappearing and reappearing just as quickly, an anxious body pacing. Would that anxiety cause him to push you away, to get rude and nasty the way he’d done so many times? Maybe but there was no turning back now. You'd given Wayne your word and something about that man would not let you go back on it. You didn’t want to disappoint him. 
Slow steps up to the door. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. Step. Inhale. Step. Exhale. You could do this. You could be what Eddie needed you to be. You could make him see. You knew all the facts now. You knew what he’d been through. No more secrets. No walls between them, concealing everything that was hurting him. He could talk openly to you about everything he’d been through and you could listen. You could be whatever he needed you to be, do whatever he needed you to do. 
Raising your hand, you knocked on the door gently but firmly. You barely got in one knock before the door was wrenched open, revealing the face you'd been longing to see ever since the moment he’d been led away from you in the jail. 
“The door wasn’t locked, old man,” Eddie began, stopping when he realized the person knocking was not his uncle. His head dropped, fingers gripping the frame of the door, a soft groan escaping his lips, letting you know he was less than pleased to find you there. “Prom Queen, what the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m here because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
His bottom lip was swollen, his tongue playing over the scab from where it had been split. His eye was a dark shade of violet along with his cheek. A butterfly bandage sat over his eyebrow where the skin had also been split in the fight with Andy. 
You stepped toward him, your hand reaching for his face, every part of you aching to comfort him. As if this man needed any more scars or injuries. You were pretty sure the bats and the freaky science fiction shit that you'd just learned about had given him more than his fair share. But as you opened your arms, needing to feel him close to you, he took a step back, his hands held out as if fending you off. 
There it was, a physical barrier to match the invisible one he was quickly assembling around his heart. Armor to keep you out, to protect himself from getting hurt again. But the last thing that you wanted to do was hurt him. All you wanted was to make every single injury, both internal and external, better. You wanted to heal every bruise. To give him something good, something that he deserved, probably more than most after what he’d been willing to sacrifice to save a town that hated him. 
“Eddie, please don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t shut me out,” you pleaded, your hands dropping to your sides as you stepped into the trailer and closed the door behind you. Maybe he could shut down on you but he wasn’t going to make you leave, not until you'd had your say. “Don’t put up that wall again. Don’t tell me that we shouldn’t be together.”
“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, hair tumbling around his shoulders as he shook his head with annoyance. “Princess, are you delusional? I attacked a man. I would have killed Andy if Harrington hadn’t stopped me. I was headed to jail, which is probably where I belong. I mean, it is what us Munsons do. It’s where this whole town figured I would end up, anyway.”
“You don’t belong in jail, Eddie.”
“Then where does a monster belong?”
You leapt at him, grabbing onto both of his arms, the warmth of his biceps seeping through the thin cotton, heating your palms. You felt your entire body relax just a bit, relieved to finally have him close enough to touch. 
He jerked and then stopped, two pairs of eyes so full of pain that you could drown in it. He was drowning in it, drowning in all the doubts he’d ever had about himself that had been thrust to the surface. A man who struggled to believe there was anything good in him after so many years of being told there wasn’t. 
“You are not a monster,” you stated, trying to convey how much you believed that with your eyes. “You are a good man. You would not have killed Andy. I know you wouldn’t have. He’s been tormenting you for years. He grabbed me. You reacted because you were defending me, defending yourself. Years of torment and pain took over in that moment and nobody can blame you for that. If this town knew what you’d done for them, none of them would have a bad thing to say about you.”
Eddie’s head tipped, eyes narrowing, sweet little lines appearing between his eyebrows, “What do you know about it?”
“Everything,” you told him, feeling like a ten ton truck had been removed from your chest, no longer being crushed under all the secrets, all the information you didn’t have. It was a barrier that had been removed from between them. “After you got arrested, everyone talked and decided that I needed to know what had happened. All of it.”
“All of it?” he questioned, disbelief etched within his features. 
“I think so. I know about the lab, Eleven’s powers, the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, Vecna, how you saved everyone with your guitar playing skills, how you put yourself at risk to give them more time.” You swallowed hard, your last words coming out as a sob. “How you almost died…”
“Then you know that I ran,” he spat angrily, pulling his arms from your grip, pacing across the room. A shaky hand rested on top of his head. “I saw Chrissy and I ran. I didn’t stay to help. I got scared. I was a goddamn coward. I’m still a coward. I can’t even sleep without being terrified by my nightmares. That was how he got you, you know? Vecna. I never saw him. He killed Chrissy in her mind. And then Patrick…how do you hide or protect yourself from someone who can access your damn mind?”
“Eddie,” you urged, taking a step toward him. As your hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped, lurching away from you. “Anyone would have ran. That doesn’t make you a coward. If I watched someone get plastered to the ceiling and their limbs started snapping I would run. You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
“What credit? You think Harrington would have run? Hell, you think Henderson would have? No. Harrington got pulled into the lake by those damn vines and Wheeler and Buckley dove right in after him. No hesitation. They put their lives on the line because he needed help. And Henderson? He jumped through that gate, hurting himself, to come and find me. He didn't think twice about those bats. He just came to save the day.”
“And according to him, you cut those sheets and raced out to distract the bats so the others could end Vecna. Eddie, how can you not see that’s the same damn thing? You risked your life, you almost died, to protect all of them! This town couldn’t be more wrong about you.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not…I’m not good, okay?”
“No. You’re perfect.”
“Goddamn it! No I’m not! I told you when this whole thing started that being with me was a mistake. I tried to be a dick so you’d stay away from me. I fought it because you…you’re too good. You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re sweet. You’re a fucking teacher. You are a blindingly bright light and I am the darkness that will drag you down. You don’t deserve this shit.”
“This isn’t a mistake! Stop saying it’s a mistake!”
“Why?” He spun, chest heaving, soft brown eyes as dark as a moonless sky. “It is and the sooner you see that, the better off you'll be. Hell, the better off I’ll be. Because one day, maybe not today, maybe not next week. Hell, maybe not even next month, but one day, you are going to look around and realize that this was one giant fucking mistake in your life. That I am a mistake and then you’ll leave and it will be what’s best for you. I won’t even be able to be mad at you but I…”
 “You’ll what?”
Eddie closed his eyes and when they opened, there was the man you knew, the man you'd fallen for. Sweet chocolate brown gazed at you, like two windows into his soul, a soul that was fighting for its life right now between what it wanted and what it thought was right.
“I’ll never recover,” he admitted softly. “There won’t be any getting over you. I’ve never…I’ve never had a real relationship, princess. No one has ever wanted me like you do. No one has ever looked at me like you do.”
“And how is that?”
“Like I matter. Like I’m worth something.”
“You are worth something and you do matter. And I’m not going anywhere. Eddie, you are not a mistake. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. With you…with you, I feel things I didn’t even know were possible. You’re everything. You’re worth everything to me and you can push all you want but I am going to push right back.”
“What if I just end things?” he challenged.
“Is that what you want?”
“Sweetheart…”
“No. If you can look me in the face and tell me that you don’t want to be with me, then I will leave right now and I will never bother you again. But if you can’t…why are you fighting this so hard? I don’t care about your past. I mean, I do, but only because I want to be there for you. I want to be the one to soothe you out of your nightmares. I want to be the person you talk to when the shit in your head gets to be too much. I want to kiss every scar, ice every bruise, and clean every cut. I want to be here. I want you.”
“Why?”
It was such a simple question. One syllable, three letters, but the answer was anything but. Three words, eight letters…but the weight behind them was so heavy. The potential for how wrong everything could go if you said them was a train bearing down on you, you standing on the tracks, watching it come, waiting for the impact that would crush you. 
But you had to say it. You had to make him see how much he meant to you. So, you braced yourself for collision. Your eyes squeezed shut as if you could keep it from happening if you just couldn’t see it. 
“Because I love you.”
Silence. You stood, eyes closed, a boulder the size of a house sitting in your stomach. Was he going to laugh at you? Say how could you even say that when it hadn’t been that long? That you were just starting to date, to get to know each other? Would he tell you to get out?
Then large hands, metal rings cool against your flushed cheeks, cradled your face gently between them. Your eyes fluttered open to find Eddie looking down at you, his swollen lips curved up slightly on the side into the softest smile, those pools of chocolate melting right down, slipping between all the crevices within you. His head tilted forward, soft ends of his waves tickling the curve of your cheek. 
“Say that again,” he implored, fingers wrapping around your jaw, thumb coasting over your bottom lip. 
You swallowed down the fear that had risen up at your declaration, whispering, “I love you. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s too soon. I probably sound insane and I am not trying to scare you and I don’t expect you to say it back. I just…I realized it yesterday. I mean, I think I knew before that but I ignored it because…totally insane, right?”
“Prom Queen.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Hands wrapped around your hips as his lips slammed into yours just before he pulled back, hissing, covering his mouth and yelling, “Son of a bitch!”
“Your lip!” you shrieked, fingers prying his hand away to reveal his lips bleeding fresh, the skin split anew. 
“It’s fine. It’s fine,” he grumbled. 
“No, it’s not. Here. Hang on.”
You walked over to the small kitchen, opening drawers until you found one that had a few kitchen towels. Pulling one out, you ran it under the cold water in the sink for a bit before carrying the blue checked cloth back to Eddie. 
“Let me see,” you commanded.
“I said it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. Stop being so damn stubborn for one minute and just let somebody help you,” you huffed, stepping in front of him. You brushed his hair back from his face, gently applying the cold, wet cotton to the spot on his lip. Blood was running, a little red river, down over his chin. Using the dry part of the towel, you dabbed that off before it ruined his white shirt. “There. Is that better?”
Eddie’s eyes rolled upwards as he nodded, “Yeah.”
“See? You know, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a little help every now and then. Especially when you have people who want to help.”
“It’s not that. I just…ugh!” Eddie huffed, taking the towel from you. Holding it to his lip with one hand, he took your hand in the other, leading you over to the couch. He sat, tugging you down with him. 
“What?”
“We had this really important moment and I fucking ruined it with my stupid lip. I just wanted to…look, I’m not great with words but I make up for it with my hands.”
A shiver raced along your spine because he was not lying. That man could write sonnets with his hands, he could write epic tales with his fingers, and compose complete novels with that mouth. An endless adventure that had you craving more, turning page after page until the sun rose because you just needed what happened next.
“I wanted to show you…you know? How I feel?”
Your body twisted toward him, arm resting along the back of the couch, head tilted in interest. You'd confessed that you were in love with him and no, he didn’t have to say it back. The only thing worse than him not feeling the same way you did was for him to lie and pretend he did. But you couldn’t help the desire burning within you to know exactly how he did feel about you. 
“I’m listening.”
“I…well, you know, you’re…I mean, I’ve never…” He groaned, head rocking back against the couch, free hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never had…no one’s ever looked at me like you do. I’ve hooked up with plenty of girls but it never meant anything, you know? I was just getting my dick wet and…fuck, why is this so hard? Why am I saying that to you? Jesus H. Christ.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” you assured him, fingers dancing over the back of the couch, slipping along his shoulder to his neck, your palm pressing against the side of it. No, you absolutely did not want to hear about Eddie getting his dick wet with anyone but you also knew talking openly about how he felt was foreign to him. So, you weren't going to comment on that, to give him any reason to shut down on you. “You’re doing fine, baby. It’s just me and you.”
“I know. I don’t know why it’s so hard to just say the fucking words but I’ve never said them to anybody who wasn’t my uncle or Henderson, but I mean I thought I was dying. Not that I don’t love the little shrimp but it’s just not something I throw around. It’s never gotten me anywhere, you know? My dad never said that shit. Men don’t get all emotional. And my mom, she did but then she was gone and…it should be easy. They’re just words, right? But they’re not just words. Those words are everything and once you say them there is no taking them back. And if you say them and everything goes to shit, then it sucks so much more. That’s why it was always easy because I never felt that for any girl I was with. Even some of the girls that lasted a few weeks. Never and now it feels fucking impossible to just tell you and I want to tell you. I want you to know.”
“Eddie…” you said softly, your heart bouncing around in your chest like a pinball machine. Could he mean what you thought he meant? Did you dare allow yourself to believe it?
His body rocketed forward as he sat up, tossing down the dish towel, his hands grabbing onto your face. He held onto you as if you were going to disappear, turning to dust in his fingers, as if you were a balloon that he was desperate to keep from floating away into the clouds. 
“I feel like that too,” he whispered, his words urgent. “I…you know, that thing you said. Me too. I mean, you’re right. It’s nuts. We’ve only known each other for a handful of weeks and yes, I just knew. I knew it was you. I knew that this wasn’t just some way to get my rocks off for a bit. This wasn’t some girl who just wanted a taste of the dark side for a few weeks. But I have nothing to compare it to because I’ve never felt this. I wasn’t married. Hell, I haven't had a relationship last for longer than two months. So, is it that crazy?”
“Is what crazy?” you urged, knowing it was hard for him but needing him to say it. You needed those words like you needed your next breath. You needed to know if you were in this alone, if you were insane for feeling the way you did, or if he felt it too.
“Me…you know…”
“I don’t know.”
Eddie groaned, his forehead dropping to rest against yours, fingers slipping into your hair, cradling the back of your head. Your eyes slipped closed, breathing him in, swearing you could hear the sound of his heart beating in time with your own, thunderous and purposeful, like a herd of horses racing down the beach. 
“Damn it, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”
“I need to hear the words, Eddie,” you pleaded, fingers grabbing the white cotton of his shirt, twisting it. “If you really feel it, I need to hear it. I promise you, you’re safe with me.”
“But what if you decide to go? What if you realize, like everyone else in this town, that I’m not worth it? That you could do better? What if you don’t have the energy to deal with what’s broken inside of me? I’m exhausting, sweetheart. Even my friends will tell you that.”
“Eddie, I am not going anywhere.” Your lips pressed against the side of his mouth, tender, careful not to touch his freshly split lip. “I could never do better than you because, I think, the reason I fell for you so hard, so fast, is because something in me recognized you. It recognized that you were the thing it was missing. Eddie, I have never felt with Cam even a fraction of the things I feel when I’m with you.”
“Well, we already established that he sucks in the sack.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” you chuckled, one hand slipping underneath his shirt, resting over his heart. “I’m talking in here. My heart somehow knew you. It sounds nuts. I know. But something in you made my heart go, there he is. That’s the one we’ve been waiting for. You’re not getting rid of me. I already told you, you can push all you want but I am going to push right back even harder. I’ll knock you on your ass if I have to.”
His nose traced over yours, over your cheekbone, until his lips were resting right neck to your ear, “I love you. Fuck, I am so in love with you and it scares the shit out of me.”
One hand still pressed to his chest, the other cradled his cheek, your insides going warm when he turned and nuzzled into it. You leaned into him, lips pressing gentle kisses to every inch of skin that wasn’t bruised or split open. You felt as his heartbeat slowed, the tension slowly easing from his body, relaxing under your touch. 
“Don’t be scared of me,” you breathed, your cheek rubbing against his and then he was cradling your arm, bringing your wrist to his mouth, his lips pressing lightly against it. 
“I’m not scared of you,” murmured Eddie, lips moving over your forearm, along your bicep, featherlight ticklish kisses, as much pressure as his mouth could handle. “I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of not being the kind of man you deserve. I’m scared of losing you, of what I would become if you left, of what I would do to keep you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” you managed, struggling when those lips reached your neck, fingers skimming over the skin just above your waistband. “I’m not scared of you. I’ve never been scared of you. I know you won’t hurt me.” Your fingers tangled in his hair, gripping it, whimpering when his tongue ran up the column of your throat. “You do deserve me. You’re more than I deserve, my real life superhero.” Your body trembled when that tongue slid up to your ear, teeth catching your earlobe. “And you’re not going to lose me. I’m yours, hopelessly and completely yours.”
“Princess, those are very dangerous words,” he growled against your ear, that hand trailing ever higher until he grazed the underside of your breast. “Because I’ve never had anything that was truly mine.”
“Well, I am,” you whimpered when his thumb ran over the hardened peak of your nipple. 
Eddie leaned forward, his body pressing into you, forcing you onto your back on the couch. His hands came to either side of your head, that face, so beautiful even bruised and bloody, hovering just inches from yours. Brown eyes, dark with something dangerous and promising burned into you, setting your entire body ablaze, turning you into a pile of ash. 
“You’re sure you want that?” he challenged, fingers working at the button on your shorts, hand slipping under your waistband, cupping your heat. “Because if you’re mine, I am never letting you go.�� He pushed your panties to the side, two thick fingers pressing into you, your entire body clenching around him. “Fuck. If you’re mine, you’re only mine. I don’t like to share, sweetheart. Never been good at it. You are everything I never thought I could have.” Those fingers curled within you, your back arching, fighting through the haze of pleasure to focus on his words. “You’re everything that I want. You’re the first thing that has made me truly happy in…forever.” His thumb brushed over your clit and you bit down on your lip, hips rocking up to meet his hand. “I won’t give that up easily. I would burn this fucking world to the ground before I lose you.”
“Yes…fuck yes. I want that. I want you,” you groaned, each word a gasp. His words and his touch worked in tandem to send you flying toward the edge, teetering as you looked down at the vast drop before you that was inevitable. 
“Thank fuck,” he rasped, “because I want you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. You mine, baby?”
“Yes. Yours. I’m yours…” you whined, thighs trembling, toes at the edge, rocks tumbling down, the wind pushing at your back. 
“Good. That’s my girl. Now come for me, baby.”
And with those words, a softly spoken command, you tumbled over the side, plunging into the unknown. You cried out, fingers digging into the muscles of his back, your body arching into him as your orgasm took over your body. Every inch of you shook with the force of it while Eddie worked you through it. 
“My beautiful girl,” he whispered, nuzzling your face gently. “Mine. My girl.”
“Yours,” you mumbled in agreement, your body ice cream that was melting into the sidewalk on a warm sunny day, incapable of rearranging itself into a formed shape again as you sunk into the couch. “I love you.”
He grinned, wide and goofy, the skin on his lip pulling. “Son of a bitch. I love hearing you say those words. Say it again.”
“I love you,” you repeated with a giggle.
“Again.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you,” you yelled.
“I love you,” he said back and then you were both grinning like the lovestruck idiots that you were.
“So, while I am happier than a fox in a henhouse to hear you two yelling how much you love each other,” came a voice from the other side of the door, “I am back and I am going to open the door in about two minutes. So, if any clothing needs putting back on, consider this fair warning so none of us got to be embarrassed about anything.”
Your eyes widened as you looked up at Eddie, both of them breaking into fits of giggles as you struggled to get your shorts back on before Uncle Wayne came barging through the door. The door opened just as you were sitting up on the couch, Eddie’s arm slung casually around your shoulder, feigning an innocence you didn’t have.
Wayne raised an eyebrow, looking at them both, “Don’t you both have homes you could be doing all the naked stuff in? I thought my days of walking in on Eddie’s bare ass were long gone.”
Eddie leaned to the side, tilting his ass toward you as he looked down at it and then back at his uncle, “My ass is fully covered, thank you.”
“Mmmhmm, and I am sure all clothing was in its proper place before I walked in.”
Eddie shrugged, “I mean…no promises but seriously. How often did you ever walk in on me and a girl?”
“You didn’t need no girl to be naked, boy. I walked in on you playing guitar in your birthday suit one time. You seemed to be allergic to clothing. That boy would strip down whenever he could. Just sitting at the kitchen table, stark nude, munching on a bowl of Honeycomb. Argued with me because he wanted to sleep naked. Not in my house, he wasn’t.”
You pressed your lips together in amusement, “Really?”
“I mean, look, sometimes it’s just nice to feel a breeze down there, you know? The Scottish have the right idea with those kilts. Little Eddie doesn’t like confinement. It’s like girls with bras.”
“I don’t think you can compare a bra with basic pants and underwear,” you teased. 
“So, I am assuming, based on what I heard and what I can surmise happened in here, that this girl was able to talk some sense into you?”
“She might have,” Eddie smirked. “She’s a bit stubborn like that.”
Wayne scoffed, “Hmm. Well, then you are two peas in a pod. Ain’t nobody more stubborn than you.”
“Oh come off it, old man. Says the guy who refuses to go to the doctor for anything.”
“I don’t need to pay some quack for the common cold.”
“It was pneumonia!” Eddie argued. 
“Whatever. Now, don’t you two have a house you could choose that isn’t mine? Not that I don’t appreciate the visit but I would be mighty grateful for my chair and some quiet time to watch my programs. It’s Saturday night, you know.”
“Oh shit. We’re interrupting his Walker, Texas Ranger. That’s a sin in this place.”
You grinned, “Sorry Wayne. We’ll get out of your hair, okay?”
“What hair?” snorted Eddie.
“Boy, you ain’t too old for me to put across my knee,” warned Wayne. “Don’t you be insulting my hair just because you have a beehive on that head.”
Eddie gasped, his hands coming up to his dark locks, “Beehive? This is no beehive. This is a majestic mane that deserves respect.”
You snorted, earning an offended glare from Eddie. Laughing, you took his hand in yours, “Enjoy your show, Wayne.”
“Thank you.”
As they headed out of the trailer, you asked, “Your place or mine?”
“I don’t care as long as you’re there with me.”
And your heart fluttered because you felt the same exact way. You didn’t care where you were as long as this man was next to you. 
Chapter 24
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teejaystumbles · 2 months
Text
Against all odds (part 4)
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3
Hob is woken by his alarm and instead of snoozing the damn thing like he usually does, he is sitting up in bed and looking over at the desk in barely a second.
His journal is not there.
He feels a weird mixture of elation and disappointment - elation because last night was not just a dream! His stranger was really here! And disappointment because there seems to be no answering journal entry yet, or the book would be there.
Hob wipes both hands over his face with a groan and finally stops his annoying alarm.
“Right. Might as well get up and make a cuppa.”
While he putters around his kitchen, Hob recaps the last night. 
After writing his reply to his stranger Hob had gone to bed, feeling restless and tossing and turning for at least an hour before finally falling asleep. He had dreamed something unsettling about riding his Porsche down a lane that got narrower and narrower, and being unable to stop the car while the sides were being pressed in against him as the car was being squeezed between invisible walls. Hob had seen a mushroom cloud in the rearview mirror and suddenly a crackle like thunder in the distance had sounded - then he had woken up. And found his stranger leaning over his desk. 
Despite having his back to Hob, he would have known him instantly even if there hadn't been a sliver of light from a street lamp illuminating the marvel cheek of his friend. (To be fair, there weren’t many black-clad figures Hob expected-slash-hoped to appear in his bedroom at night.)
Apparently his stranger had come to read Hob’s reply to his own entry, and Hob had surprised him when he woke up. Getting him to stay had instantly been Hob’s primary objective, because his friend had been ready to flee, that had been glaringly obvious.
Hob pours water over his tea and sighs, recalling the almost timid voice of his stranger.
“It is not you, Hob.”
“Your rooms are not uncomfortable to me.”
It’s not him. Hob is so fucking glad it’s not him. He believes his friend, he doesn’t think he’d lie about something like this. No, after 1889 it’s clear that his stranger wouldn’t have stayed if he felt any sort of discomfort or anger in Hob’s presence. It had cost him to say the words, to tell Hob the truth, but Hob is sure his stranger wouldn’t lie to him outright. Obviously the “I don’t need your companionship”-line had been a lie, but one his stranger had been telling himself as well, so Hob can forgive it. It can be hard to accept certain truths about oneself, he knows, and not being human might make his stranger even more liable to not accept any sort of weakness he might have. A hundred years ago he considered Hob, and their friendship, a weakness. What has changed since then, Hob wonders.
He picks up his tea and moves to his small living room, flopping down on the old Chesterfield sofa that he has lovingly kept in shape since the beginning of the 20th century.
The 80s have been wild and Hob is happy that his tendency to accumulate stuff from his past, like antique furniture and loads of tidbits, is part of the current interior design trend. All the posh flats in London look like his right now, jumbled messes of times long past. People are looking for warmth and comfort, for colour and modern form mixed with a certain nostalgia. He thinks it's going to turn around soon, though. It always does. Trends come and go and then are revived a few decades later.
Not that Hob has many visitors these days who would care about his flat’s interior. When he hooks up with someone he takes them to a hotel when he’s feeling generous and enamoured, to the back alley or toilets when all they both care about is getting off quickly. Hob hasn’t been in a long-term relationship in two years. He’s telling himself he’s taking a break, moving on quickly to spare himself and others the loss, after so many years of losing so many friends and lovers. Deep down he knows it’s because he knew which year was coming up, and he couldn’t help but want to be free and available for- anything, really, if his stranger decided to show up.
Now that he has, Hob has no idea what to make of his friend. It’s clear he has been through something traumatic, or he wouldn’t have mentioned claustrophobia as a new condition he’s dealing with. Hob hopes he’ll tell him, or write to him, rather. It’s fine, he thinks. If his stranger wants to continue writing to each other for a few hundred years then Hob will accept that. He’ll be happy to have an immortal pen pal. It would be more contact than he ever had with his stranger. He’s sure - he nods to himself and takes a drink of his tea - yes, he’s sure, his friend will one day want to meet him again face to face. Hob can wait. He’s got practice.
The journal shows up a week later.
Hob has surreptitiously checked his bedroom desk every hour when he’s at home and every time he comes back from work. Now, when he steps into his flat, glances into the open bedroom and finds the journal returned he immediately drops his jacket and bag carelessly to the floor. He rushes over to the desk and takes the book in his hands, flipping through it with his heart beating faster in excitement. 
Two pages have been ripped out in between Hob’s last entry and the new one. Curious, Hob thinks and bites his lip, sitting down to read the new words his stranger has left him.
My friend,
I have struggled with deciding what to put down on these pages and I ask your forgiveness for vandalising your book. Nothing I wrote seemed to encompass what I wanted to tell you. I could not put into words the relief I felt at reading your words, at hearing you speak to me so gently the last time I visited. If you knew who I am this would seem laughable to you, as it does to me - to not find the words! It is unheard of for one such as I, and for me in particular. I have to put it as bluntly as I can then: I was afraid you would not forgive my rudeness, would not understand my need for distance and lack of enthusiasm to stay and talk with you face to face. I did you a disservice, dear Hob, believing you would hold a grudge like I would. I thank you most sincerely, for your patience, your understanding. It has lifted a big concern from my chest and I find myself looking forward to seeing you again. Still, these matters I have to tell you, they are not easy for me to talk about. I would rather write them down for you so you can digest them quietly and think about them for a bit before we see each other again.
In 1916, a man named Roderick Burgess tried to summon my sister, Death. His attempt failed, but he was still not wholly unsuccessful - he summoned me instead.
With the help of one of my own subjects who betrayed me he managed to imprison me. He and his son held me for 75 years. I was trapped, naked, robbed of my insignia and therefore powerless, inside a sphere of glass, barely large enough for me to stand in.
There is a smudge in the ink at this point, as if his friend had been pressing the pen he wrote with too tightly to the paper so that the ink had left a blot.
There is so much in these few lines Hob needs to think about, he can’t start right now or he’ll spiral before he has even read half of his friend’s entry. Hob puts a hand over his mouth and reads on, the pages in his hand shaking as he trembles with horror.
Roderick Burgess thought he could force me to give him back his dead son, and when he realised I held no power over such things he asked for immortality, riches, power.
I did not give him anything, of course. I did not acknowledge my captor, did not want to give him the satisfaction. In the beginning, Burgess’ youngest son Alex seemed amenable to help me, but he ultimately could not disobey his father and betrayed that fragile piece of hope I had put in him most viciously. I lost a dear friend, my raven Jessamy, to Alex’ cowardice. I can never forgive him for that, or for holding me even after his father had died, and I have punished him adequately - although nothing I or anyone can do will ever make the memory of the senseless death of my dear raven bearable.
A pale stain on the paper makes Hob wonder if his friend had been crying when he was writing these words. He would not be surprised, his stranger had sometimes seemed so close to shedding tears, him crying over a terrible memory like this is far too easy to imagine. Hob feels his own eyes water at his stranger’s tale. Imprisoned for so long, under such horrible conditions! Betrayed by one of his own! And losing a close friend!
Hob is actually glad that his friend chose to write this down for him instead of telling it to him in person. He isn’t sure what he would have done in the face of his friend’s misery and trauma. He isn’t sure he would have been strong enough to hold back from touching his stranger, from hugging him close and pulling his head onto his shoulder, isn’t sure he wouldn’t have taken liberties where it is clear now that doing so would be disastrous.His friend must be severely traumatised, having been stuck in an enclosed, far too small space for almost 80 years! Hob has been in prison before, back in the 17th century, and a few times after. The tower, a madhouse or war prison camps, none of these detentions had lasted nearly as long as what his friend had to endure, and still Hob had felt close to going truly mad every time, especially when he got stuck in solitary confinement. Even if his stranger is not human he seems not immune to such strains on the psyche, if his mention of claustrophobia is anything to go on. Hob will have to invite him to meet somewhere outdoors, at the park or the river. Maybe his friend will agree to that.
Part 5
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whoreburslut · 8 months
Text
Kinktober: Day 4
•thigh riding & sex pollen
gender neutral reader
sorry it’s a day late i was very eepy
i might be a day behind for a few days but i’ll catch back up
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at the store you are walking in the flower section, looking for a nice decoration for your living room. you are just browsing as you feel yourself being drawn in by this one plant, a nice singular flower stood straight up and perfectly in bloom. this would compliment your living room perfectly you thought.
driving home with the flower safely fastened in with the seatbelt so it doesn’t topple over, it seems like the whole car is is filled with it’s sweet aroma. arriving home you start to feel hazy as you get out of the car and take the plant up to you and wils apartment.
setting it on the counter in the kitchen, you feel flushed as you use the counter to steady yourself. you start to feel a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach, wondering why this strong wave of lust has hit you as there had been nothing that could have provoked it.
wilbur enters the kitchen after not hearing you move after coming in, he’s immediately hit with the strong stench of the flower. you could smell wil before you could hear him, the musky sent of his cologne driving your pheromones wild. the aching sensation between your legs, only growing when he speaks.
“are you ok?” the concerned voice of your friend asks, the plant’s aphrodisiac nature is now in full force for you. now wanting to throw yourself at your long time best friend, he looks like walking sex just stood there. it takes all of your strength to push past him and go to the living room.
wilbur walks over to the flower and smells it, overpowering sent hurts his nose. he quickly hurries to the living room to check on you again, your standing in the middle of the room coat discarded and fanning yourself with your hands quickly. wil comes over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder, and that simple touch makes you moan, you realise this and you snap you spin around and push him down on to the couch.
“what the fuck?” he gasps unaware of your state, “please wil i need you so bad” you say in a whiny voice moving closer too him, you lean in and start moving your lips closer to connect them with his. he puts a hand on your chest slowly loving you away, “we really shouldn’t do this” he says reluctantly as his eyes start to slowly darken.
you move your arms sensually up your sides to take your top off and discard it on the floor, your nipples harden at the cool air contrasting with your hot body. you kick of your shoes and go over and nestle in his lap, his hand come up to rest on your hips as an automatic response, this sends your hips jerking forward as the slightest bit of contact has you feeling euphoric.
“fuck it” wilbur practically moans as you realise that he is fully hard underneath you, he moves his legs wider so you have to move one of yours in between his two to stay comfortable. you realise that you are now hovering above one of his thighs, he pulls you down on to it and starts guiding your hips to grind on his thigh.
thanking your self for wearing jeans today as they are giving you the friction you so desperately desire, wil takes his hands off your hips and taps you twice on the thigh signifying you to stop. “stand up for me babe” he whispers you neerly came at the intimate pet name, knowing you longed for nothing more than to be more than friends.
he puts his hands to your jeans to unzip them, and toughing them down your legs roughly. his hands merely brush your bare thighs and you moan again, ripping your underwear down your legs as well they both get tossed to the side in quick succession. he grips your hips harshly being pulled back, down on to the same thigh he grunts in your year “if my bitch is so needy, they can get off on my thigh all on their own”.
wilbur moves his hands to rest behind his head, no longer touching your body. you whimper loudly at the loss of contact but you waste no time grinding on his thigh to get yourself off, the roughness of his jeans doing wonders for your lust. your knee accidentally brushes against wilburs growing erection, he moans in surprise his hands fly to your hips again helping you gain more friction, as he can feel your movements becoming sloppy with fatigue.
he brings one of his hands down in between you both to help you get off, you are letting all of your moans out not caring how loud you are being as you two live alone. wilbur kisses the pulse of your neck and that sends you over the edge, cuming on his jeans making his whole thigh soaked with your juices. you look down between you both to see the crotch of his pants also damp to where he came in his pants at the sight of his best friend using him.
you slump in to his chest shaking, the flower having made you ten times more sensitive due to how horny you were. you feel yourself being lifted bridal style, you are transported in to a room that is not your own, but as you are placed on the bed it smells like him. you curl in to a ball burying your face deep to inhale him, you feel the bed dip behind you then an arm drape over you. you shuffle back a bit and your back is touching his chest and you feel at home, in his bed spooning.
he’s stroking you hair as your on the edge of sleep and you hear him say “i really hope this doesn’t mean we’re just friends anymore” as he believes your already asleep, he kisses the back of your head and pulls you in tighter.
this happens a few more times to the both of you, before you and wilbur realise it is the flower that is causing the issue.
and maybe you don’t even get rid of it…
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candycandy00 · 8 months
Text
Pick Me Up - A Gojo x Reader x Geto Halloween Fanfic Part 1
Gojo and Geto are two serial killers who enjoy seducing their victims before killing them. Every year on Halloween they have a friendly competition, and this year the target they both choose is you.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
The first two parts will be fairly short and just serve to set up the way these two operate. The third part starts the “main part”. Any feedback or comments are greatly appreciated! Divider by @violetbudd
Smut. 18+. Fem Readers. Implied death/blood/gore (“offscreen” for now). Consensual sex. Gojo and Geto are both bisexual. First part is Gojo x Reader only. Geto will be the focus of part 2.
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Unbelievable. You left your house with nearly a full tank of gas. Now, just thirty minutes later, your car is running on fumes on the darkest, loneliest highway in the area. You even double checked when you stopped at that gas station just outside of town to grab snacks. 
You’re on your way to one of several Halloween parties taking place this weekend in the days leading up to the actual holiday. This one was supposed to be one of the best, out on the old Johnson farm. 
But now you find yourself forced to pull over on the side of the road because your stupid car is out of gas. Must be a leak, you figure as you cut the engine and grab your phone from the passenger seat. You groan when you realize there’s no service. Of course not. You’re out in the boonies. 
With an annoyed sigh you climb out of your car and hold your phone in the air, trying to catch a bar or two. No luck. Glancing at your car, you wonder if you could actually see gas leaking from the bottom if you look. But you don’t want to ruin your sexy Little Red Riding Hood costume. The skirt is so short and so tight that you don’t think it’s physically possible to squat down in it. 
You walk a few steps away, still holding your phone up, still hoping for a signal. This is the last place you want to be stranded. Over the past two weeks, four different women close to your age have been found murdered along this road. Their deaths were gruesome, violent, and bloody. Two of them had their guts ripped completely out. The other two had apparently been skinned alive. Someone leaked a crime scene photo online and you saw it without meaning to. You couldn’t eat for two days after that. 
So when you hear the sound of an approaching vehicle slowing down, you feel a mix of fear and relief. It could be someone who could help you. It could be a crazed serial killer. 
You turn to look back toward your car, and your heart feels like it freezes in place when you see the rusty white van with blacked out windows pulling over. It might as well have had a huge sign on the side that said “Axe Murderer Inside!”
The thought crosses your mind to just run. But then you remember you’re wearing stiletto heels and an outfit that would be practically impossible to run in. Plus, whoever this is obviously saw you and are in a working vehicle. Running would do you absolutely no good. 
You walk slowly back to your car, and as you start to pass by the van, the window rolls down on the passenger side. You nervously glance inside. Leaning across from the driver’s seat is a man wearing dark sunglasses. His hair is snowy white, styled in that way that looks slightly messy but was clearly done on purpose. He has a young, incredibly handsome face, and when he pulls his sunglasses down to look at you, he has the most breathtaking blue eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. 
“Need some help, sweetheart?”
You can’t help blushing a little as you notice those gorgeous eyes moving up and down your figure. Your skimpy costume covers very little, and definitely enhances what it does cover. 
“I ran out of gas,” you tell him. “I think I have a leak.”
“Want me to take a look?” he asks, a friendly smile on his face. 
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”
He cuts the van’s engine and gets out. When he walks around to your side of the van and you get a full view of him, you feel yourself clamping your thighs together. 
Oh fuck, he’s hot. Like, really really hot. 
He’s tall enough to tower over you, and his loose black jacket does little to conceal how his toned body moves under his clothes. When he steps closer, you can smell expensive cologne, and when he squats down beside your car, his thighs spreading apart, you have to fight the urge to insert yourself right between his legs. 
The man bends his head down and looks under your car, holding his shades in his hand. “I don’t see anything. Are you sure you didn’t forget to gas up?”
“I’m sure,” you tell him. 
He stands back up and comes to stand right in front of you, his height dwarfing yours. “I can give you a lift. Where are you headed?”
“Oh, could I just borrow your phone?” you ask with a smile. “I can get a friend to pick me up.” 
“No service out here, sweetheart, but I’d be happy to take you wherever you want.”
You stare at him, weighing your options. You know it’s dangerous to get in a vehicle with a strange man at night. Especially one in a van like this, on a road where women are turning up murdered. But hot damn he’s gorgeous! The thought of being in an enclosed space with him is soaking your tiny thong panties. 
Fuck it. I’m taking my chances. 
“Do you know where the old Johnson farm is?” you ask him. 
He grins. “Sure do. Hop in.”
He opens the passenger side door for you and even helps you climb in. Like a gentleman. You wonder if this gentleman knows how badly you want to suck his dick as you slide into the seat. 
As the two of you drive toward the Johnson farm, your mind races for ideas on how you could get him to join you at the party. Your friends will be so jealous if you show up with a snack like him on your arm. You watch him as he drives, admiring his large but elegant looking hands on the steering wheel, imagining them grabbing your ass. 
He glances sideways at you. “So what’s going on at the farm tonight?”
“A Halloween party,” you answer. 
“That explains the outfit then,” he says with a laugh, his eyes roaming over you again. 
You cross and uncross your legs, trying to draw attention to your bare thighs. “You can come too if you want. It’s open invitation.”
He gives you a look that makes you melt, a knowing look, as if he can read your mind. “I’ll think about it,” he says, his eyes torn between the road and your legs. 
You settle into the seat, subtly letting your legs spread slightly apart. There’s enough room for him to put his hand up your skirt. You hope he’s thinking about that. 
The night outside the van window zips past you, and as you look out, you realize he’s missed the turn off to get to the farm. “Hey,” you say suddenly, “you missed the turn.”
He doesn’t slow down at all, but glances at you and asks, “I did? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it was back there on the right.”
He doesn’t reply to you. Instead, he pulls off the road and drives down a dirt path, lined on either side with trees. You feel your heart pounding when he stops the van in a dark and empty place. 
He gives you a sultry sidelong look, his beautiful eyes seeming to glow in the darkness of the van. “Do you really wanna go to some stupid Halloween party?” he asks. “Or do you wanna get fucked in the back of my van?”
The brief spike of fear you felt when he parked instantly vanishes. You suddenly lean forward and kiss him, practically crawling across the seat. He kisses you back, his lips soft but crushing, his tongue in your mouth, the taste of him sweet. 
After a moment he pulls away and looks you in the eyes. “Want me to rearrange your insides?”
“Fuck, yes, please!” you breathe out. “I want you inside me!”
He runs his tongue across your lips and grins. “Oh I’ll be inside you alright.”
Minutes later, you’re in the back of his van, your micro mini skirt hiked up around your waist and your corset style top untied halfway down, allowing your breasts to spill out. The back of the van is big enough for you to stand up straight, but the insanely sexy stranger has to hunker down a bit to fit. 
You watch with almost unbearable anticipation as he opens his black pants and pulls his cock out. It’s rock hard, and fucking enormous. You’ve had plenty of dick in your life, but this one might be a challenge. 
A challenge you’re excited to accept. 
Soon enough he has you pinned underneath him, the two of you on the floor of the van, his mouth on your neck, one hand in your hair and the other bracing himself as he thrusts into you with wild abandon. 
He’s good. Almost too good. You’ve never been fucked so hard or so deep in your life, and you wonder how the hell you’re supposed to be satisfied with any other guy from now on. 
You don’t even know this man’s name, but you think you’re in love. 
He draws back to sit up on his knees, pulling your hips into his lap and fucking you from a slightly different angle, one that lets him go even deeper. You moan loudly, arching your back as his thumb strokes your clit. You’ve never felt more incredible than you do right now, cumming on a stranger’s massive cock in the back of a van. 
A few more thrusts later, you feel his grip on your hips tighten as his cock twitches inside you. 
You look up at him sharply. “Hey, don’t cum inside-“
“Too late,” he says as you feel him shoot a huge load directly into you. It feels fucking fantastic, but you’re not looking to get pregnant, and you wish he would have asked first. Oh well. What’s done is done. 
He slowly pulls out, and you lie back, catching your breath and giving him a perfect view of his cum leaking out of your pussy. Guys love that sort of thing, or so you’ve heard. You raise your head slightly to look a him, and those crystal blue eyes are indeed staring at your body. But there’s a strange look on his face. It’s not the expected desire or lust, but something else. Something frightening. 
He turns and begins rummaging through a box near the back. When he faces you again, he’s holding a rough-looking rope in one hand and a large shiny knife in the other. 
He grins at you. “I satisfied your hunger. Now you can satisfy mine.”
You start to get up, even though your legs are numb, but he quickly jumps down and uses his knees to press you to the floor. 
“What the fuck are you doing?!” you scream, struggling against his weight. 
He’s already wrapping the rope around your wrists, pulled above your head. “We’re gonna have fun all night long, Little Red Riding Hood,” he says with a devious, slightly unhinged smile. “The big bad wolf is here to gobble you up!”
The knife in his hand glints in the dim interior light of the van as he brings it closer to your body, then uses it to cut away the clothing that had bunched up around your waist. His hand rubs over your stomach, pressing slightly into the soft flesh. 
“I’m gonna dig around a bit in here,” he says, and all you can do is scream incoherently as he begins his grisly work. 
Tag List:
@loyal-to-my-dilf @unearthlydream @noodlejitsu @itzmeme 
If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, please comment to let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged!
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ywpd-translations · 18 days
Text
Ride 773: Rematch!!
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Pag 1
1: Let's do it, an all-out battle!!
There's 2km left until the finish line!!
2: Hahaha, I'll tell you one more time
You'll be defeated without even getting to know “golden yellow”!!
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Pag 2
1: Not bad!! I'll crush that statement under my feet!! Orange!!
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Pag 3
1: That's impressive, San-na!! But when you'll see it with your own eyes
2: will you be able to stay calm? Let's try!!
Fourth stage!!
6: Wisteria flowers!?
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Pag 4
1: “Gamboge”!!
2: He's accelerating again!! More than that....
3: he's doing it while looking over his shoulder!?
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Pag 5
3: Houruaaagh
4: Seriously!? Damn, he's fast!!
You can accelerate even while looking over your shoulder!? You think you can so easily overpower me!? That's what it means!? Damn you!!
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Pag 6
1: This really is the best!!
I can't keep calm with this!!
2: Tsk!! Are you fired up, instead!?
3: I've been searching for it, for someone who'd come charging at me like you do..... someone who could really do it!!
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Pag 7
1: There were many guys who came at me during this past year!!
It's Doubashi
Doubashi is moving!
2: Are you the Doubashi who got the sprint number bib in the Inter High!? I'll stop you!!
In races...
3: I'm known as “Kanagawa's flash”!! I'm confident in my sprinting!!
4: Come at me!!
5: Come
Douba-
6: Shi..... huh, in just one moment...
Is he a... “sparkler”?
7: Even inside the club
Are you Doubashi-san?
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Pag 8
1: We're the Saimon brothers, first years
We're twins, they call us....
2: He's so fast....!!
3: Yessir
Yessir
Yessir!!
4: Let's race, Doubashi!!
5: Alright!!
Gyaa-!!
6: But none of them could really do it!!
7: This past year....
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Pag 9
1: I've become too strong!!
2: Hahaha, aren't you quite persistent? If it's hard you can just
3: Like I can give up such a fun attraction so easily!?
4: Buorah!!
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Pag 10
1: 1.5km left!!
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Pag 11
1: It's getting closer, the final line of our race!! Orange!!
San-na!!
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Pag 12
1: Hahaha
After last year's Inter High, I
2: The only thing that got me fired up was defeating you!!
3: I really want to defeat him
Next time we meet, I wanna be able to tell him “gap”
“Gap”?
That's a “gap”
4: What should I do!?
5: So I just practiced blindly!! Not knowing how!!
But I realized that was a mistake
6: After the send-off party for the third years...
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Pag 13
1: I got a note from god for the first time in a long while
2: This is the last note for you
Those aiming for the mountain will never reach the mountain
3: Don't mistake your goal for something else
4: Those few words were written on it
At first, I didn't understand what they meant
I thought maybe it was a riddle, but after I read it 116 times, I finally understood!!
5: It was about setting the goal!!
6: It meant that “as long as San-na is your goal, you can never surpass him”!! “Look higher up, look higher!!
And so, I
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Pag 14
1: Came here aiming to be “ Japan's number one”!!
4: Those eyes!! They're the eyes of someone who's seriously worked hard to become “Japan's number one”!!
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Pag 15
2: Ohh!! On!! Kaburagi-kun is still one-on-one against Hakogaku's Doubashi, and there's 1500m until the sprint line, on!!
Way to go!!
3: Goo!! Just like that!!
4: They got through? Those words
Kaburagi....
If it's you-
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Pag 16
1: I knew you would understand!!
2: Hahaha, I wonder why
Just now, for a moment, in my head
3: I imagined Aoyagi-san's face!!
4: In the final stage of this sprint race there are three technical curves!!
5: One's done, there are two left!! Are you going to fall there? Don't make any stupid mistakes!!
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Pag 17
1: I want a pure race!!
Same goes for you!!
2: Izumida-san....
5: The words Izumida-san told me that day
“Emotions are strength”
6: If that's the case, then this thrilling “joy” of having someone of equal power before my eyes is strength too, after all!!
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Pag 18
1: Izumida-san!!
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Pag 21
3: Huh!?
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cherryslyce · 1 year
Text
Sharp Knives, Sharp Gazes | Clove Kentwell
Synopsis: A dangerous attraction to one of the deadly careers leads to more than you could have bargained for, including unlikely friendships and romance.
Masterlist
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Pairing: Clove Kentwell x District 4!Reader
Notes: Not canon compliant (Glimmer lives, careers are OOC because they are not mindless killers). Someone save Finnick before Y/N gives him a heart attack. Marvel is fun to write, even though I'm a Cato fan.
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A prickle of anxiety jolted down your spine as you lifted your eyes and met a pair of amused ones. Your eyes flickered down and paused on the grin stretching across her freckled face.
She was undeniably pretty, but the deadly glint in her eyes convinced your fellow tributes to stay away from her. Somehow, you had caught her attention and you would have been endlessly flustered had it not been for the dire circumstances you found yourself in.
“Hey, 4. You look scrappy enough. Good. The last few years your district has produced nothing but disappointments.”
You snap out of your trance and tear your gaze away from the menacing girl from District 2, coming face to face with the smug male tribute from 1–Marvel.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, 1.”
“Feisty. Look, for some reason Clove thinks it would be interesting to bring you into our fold. Don’t look at me like that, she said it, not me. So what do you say? Care to live up to District 4’s legacy as a part of the Career Pack, or are you going to scamper around and die off like a fish out of water?”
The boy finished his (very convincing) speech with a sigh as if you were the terrible inconvenience in this situation. Although, despite how annoyed you grew with him, you respected his skills with a spear and it was apparent he held some begrudging respect for you as well.
“Clove? I thought Cato was your leader? I don’t think he’s open for recruitment, shouldn’t you run this idea past him first?”
“He’s not a dictator, you’ll be fine. Besides, we can all see how valuable you are. You fling around that trident of yours like it’s an extension of your arm.”
Oh. Marvel just praised you. Had you knocked your head too many times on the train ride to the Capitol?
“And then what, you’ll slit my throat in my sleep when I’m no longer of use?”
He smiles a little at your retort before growing serious, an expression so foreign on his face that you couldn't help but wait patiently to hear what he had to say next.
“Maybe. But you have a better chance with us. Who knows, maybe you’ll even win this and get to go home. Bring pride to your district and whatnot.”
You were definitely dreaming. This was the same Marvel who you thought was a bloodthirsty, hormonal time bomb. Turns out he may hate this situation nearly as much as you.
“I’ll think about it. See you at the interviews tonight, Marvel.”
He nods as if expecting your answer, though you catch his eyebrows raising up as you address him properly for the first time.
“See you around, Y/N.”
As he stalks off towards his favorite station--the spear throw station, you look around to see Clove watching you with an unreadable expression. Luckily, it appeared to be less murderous than usual.
Well that’s nice. Better than having her plotting ways to skin me.
It is not until you’re waiting in line for the interviews with Caesar to start that Clove finally approaches you.
“Y/N. Marvel said you would consider joining us in the arena. I look forward to it.”
You gape as you look at the girl, face heating up uncomfortably as you could barely register her words. She looked so…pretty.
The girl looks at you in concealed wonder, eyes twinkling with mischief. You’re confused for a few moments before you make eye contact with an amused Marvel behind her.
“You don’t look bad yourself, Y/N.”
The girl spins around and stalks off towards Cato who’s begun watching the three of you like you’ve all grown another head.
“Smooth. Didn’t know you had the hots for her. I guess you were quite happy that she was the one to ask for you.”
Marvel grins at you, and for once it’s not a condescending ‘I’m better than you’ type of grin. You groan quietly to yourself, too tired to even flinch when he swings an arm around your shoulder and drags you towards the line of tributes.
Well if the other tributes had no idea of your allegiance, they sure did now.
“So you’re with us then?”
“I don’t have any other choice, you’re already clinging to me like a barnacle.”
Cato smiles, oh so minutely, at your remark to Marvel, nodding at you with a reinvigorated respect that he didn’t seem to extend to many.
Glimmer’s pleased grin greets you briefly before she’s being ushered onto the stage, her face morphing into a blinding, albeit fake, smile.
And so it begins. Hopefully Finnick would be able to nab some sponsors for you.
Yeah. Some sponsors would be good right about now.
You were on the verge of just throwing yourself face-first into Cato’s sword.
Glimmer had a close call with a swarm of tracker jackers, and somehow in the mess Katniss managed to escape. To say your allies were pissed would be the understatement of the year.
Seriously, you were sure one of the trees began to wilt after being faced with the withering look Cato sent it.
”Y/N. Go with Clove to gather some wood.”
“Yes, dad.”
Cato looks around before shooting a quick middle finger at you, an exasperated twitch of the lip taking over his face for the briefest moment before defaulting to his usual grimace of contained rage.
You were sure he was somewhat fond of you considering he hadn’t tried to bite your head off yet.
You round on your heel, habitually twirling your trident over your wrist. Clove is not far behind you as you dart your eyes around the trees.
“Once I get my hands on fire girl, I’m going to tear her limb from limb.”
“I have no doubt you will. Can’t say I’m her biggest fan at the moment. She was aiming to snatch Glimmer’s bow, who knows what kind of devastation she would reign upon us if she succeeded. Good thing one of us managed to wake up.”
“Hm, pretty smug for someone who was cuddled up on me all night like a toasted log.”
A laugh manages to slip through your lips and you’re positive everyone watching back at home is convinced you’ve lost your mind. Seriously, laughing from actual joy during the Hunger Games while stranded in a pack of groomed killers is not the sanest of activities.
Honestly, you would give anything to see how Finnick was coping.
You look back quick enough to catch a pleased look wash over Clove’s features.
Before you could even stop yourself, a river of words flew out of your mouth and you were stuck between not caring and being mortified.
“I meant what I said by the way. You’re really pretty.”
Your remark must have caught her off guard as she suddenly stops midstep, an unnerving silence blanketing around the both of you.
“It’s a shame then, that we met here of all places.” Clove’s words held no bite, though the bitterness in her tone was evident to anyone with a good set of ears.
Taking a hesitant step towards her, you slowly and shakily reach down for her hand. Clove looks down at your fingers, swiftly meeting you in the middle and clasping your fingers together.
“It’s not so bad. After all, we wouldn’t have met if not for the games. I’m glad I get to spend what’s left of my life here with you guys.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
Clove’s sudden fury was not aimed at you, but at something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
“You’re right, who could have foreseen me getting along with Cato of all people.”
“No. I mean don’t talk like you’re already dead.”
Clove’s stern words take you by surprise, and a sudden tightness constricts your throat as you swallow down a wave of fondness.
She was looking at you like you could actually win this whole thing. Like it didn’t matter to her if that meant she would have to die.
She steps towards you, a vulnerable glint flecking at the usual indifference of her gaze. Her mind was trained to be a killer, but District 2’s Academy did little to train her heart.
You bring your free hand to cup her cheek, breaking into a watery smile. Leaning over, you press your lips firmly on hers.
Suddenly it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that your moment of vulnerability was being televised to the rest of the nation. It didn’t matter that Finnick was probably dragging his hands down his face in exasperation in the District 4 apartment. It didn’t matter that someone could break through the tree line and jam a knife into your neck.
Clove kissed back with the same amount of fervor, hands slowly rising up to hug your waist.
Fuck. You were ready to throw your life away to make sure she made it out of here. And all it took was her pretty little freckled face and her fiery eyes.
After what seemed to be an eternity, you both pull away for air. You gently brush her cheek with your thumb as she gripped your waist tighter.
“I’m going to make sure you go home, Clove.”
Before she could retort, you both snap out of your little moment as voices approach from behind you.
“Fuck. See, I told you! Wood, my ass! They’re sucking face!”
Marvel’s voice rings through the air and suddenly your three allies are approaching you both, donning similar amused looks.
“I guess this note makes a lot more sense now.”
Cato’s words only serve to confuse you until he holds up a sponsor package along with a note.
‘Tell Y/N that she’s killing me -F’
“He has a flair for dramatics.” Glimmer’s words were just so incredibly ironic that you and the others had to make effort to bury the thought.
“Oh, you have no idea.”
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