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#they'll never send a letter or a text to say hi. never stop by. never even pass by. i want to scream at the heavens for taking them away

munchcorner · 9 months

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Touya and Keigo communicate through writings and Keigo's feathers since Touya lost his voice after the Sekoto incident. They'll send each other messages, pass letters, morse codes, and use Keigo's feathers to communicate their feelings.

Keigo's feathers are already sensitive but became twice as sensitive for Touya. After observing, Keigo learned to understand Touya's emotions through the way he touches his feather. A soft touch means Touya misses him. Frequent touching mean Touya wants him to come home. While rough touches mean, Touya's mad at him. These are some of the few ways they communicate. Though these methods are efficient, Keigo still wonders why Touya forbids him from learning sign language.

Keigo once raised an interest in learning sign language. He said it'll make communicating easier. But Touya shook his head after Keigo mentioned it. Keigo tried to ask Touya the reason he didn't want him to learn, but Touya never told him.

Keigo assumes Touya still hasn't gotten used to sign language, so he stops asking, but his curiosity returns when he sees Touya using sign language frequently. So, he returns to asking Touya, "Why don't you want me to learn sign language?"

Touya remains silent. He stares at Keigo and then signs to him before leaving. A sigh escapes Keigo's lips when he's left with an unanswered question.

After that conversation, Touya continues to show Keigo the same sign every time he leaves for work and before they go to bed. Keigo always asks him what it means, but Touya will pretend to be asleep or is busy, if not, he'll blatantly ignore Keigo's question and then jump to another topic.

Keigo would be lying if he wasn't tempted to learn sign language, so he could understand Touya, but never fell into temptation because he didn't want to break Touya's trust. So, he remains clueless.

Years pass, and they're lying on the bed, chests heaving after consummating their marriage, Keigo turns to Touya and shows him the same sign Touya showed him in the past years.

"Do you finally know what that sign means?" Touya types on his phone and then shows it to Keigo.

"No, but you always sign it to me. Since you've been showing it to me every day for the past six years, I'm guessing it means nothing bad," Keigo answers before showing Touya the sign again.

Touya smiles, then types something on his phone. Keigo silently lies on Touya's chest as he waits for Touya to show him the phone.

A tap on Keigo's shoulder makes him raise his head to look at Touya's face, "you're done?" Touya nods. He shows Keigo the phone, anticipating how Keigo will react to what's written.

Keigo's eyes grow wide. He stares at Touya in disbelief. His eyes slowly water as he asks, "So, I wasn't the one who said I love you?"

Touya nods. Keigo purses his lips, then sobs into Touya's chest, "I thought you didn't want me to learn sign language, so you can curse me without me understanding it. Turns out you didn't want me to know you were telling me you love me."

Touya tapes Keigo's shoulder fast, making Keigo turn to his phone to see why Touya was urgently tapping. Keigo reads the text written on the phone, then slaps Touya's chest, "So you cursed me in sign language. You had to ruin that romantic moment, didn't you? You know you could've left that part out, right?"

Touya shrugs his shoulder, a smug grin gracing his lips, making Keigo roll his eyes, "well, it isn't uncharacteristic for you to ruin such a wonderful moment," he mumbles before sitting up.

Keigo signs I love you, repeatedly while saying those exact three words. Touya smiles, then pulls Keigo to him, kissing his forehead before forcing Keigo to listen to his heart.

Though Touya can't say those exact three words, he has his way of saying them to Keigo.

#dabihawks #dabi x hawks #touya x keigo #hawks x dabi #keigo x touya #toukei #bnha hotwings #not beta read

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katsutora · 1 year

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— eventide ; haitani rindou

timeskip spoiler ⋆ angst with comfort ⋆ 1437 wc ⋆ ooc ⋆ self-indulgent ⋆ no friends, not beta read

tw: mention of gun ⋆ mention of blood ⋆ a bit dark themed at 1170 word count

Haitani Rindou found himself awake before you like he always does. It’s a routine to stay still for a long while, so as not to wake you up and to cherish the comfortable silence that he no longer gets so often as he used to. He angled his palm this way and that to shield you from tendrils of sunlight sneaking through the curtains.

In less than five minutes, you will probably open your eyes to see him facing you, pretending to be asleep. He likes to think that he knows you well enough to predict how you’ll place a hand on his right cheek to silently tell him that it’s time for you to go. And he’ll hold his breath as you collect your stuff that’s scattered around his apartment, as if he could stop time, as if he could fool himself a little longer.

The clock ticks by, counting down the seconds until you’re completely gone: your phone on top of the headboard; your coat slung over the couch; your shoes right by the entrance; a trace of his perfume on your skin; a piece of his thought; a story from his childhood; an insight of your daily lives; his heart.

He’ll never witness your gaze lingering on him right before you reach the door. He’ll never get to see you turn your head back to look at him one last time, just like how he often envisions for the sake of his own sanity. Why does he keep on letting this happen? Why isn’t he brave enough to say “good morning” to you the moment he felt you stir awake? Why can’t it ever be normal? Why can’t he ever let it be normal?

Maybe he wants to see you leave — leave him first before you find out about his ugliest side. Perhaps there’s a tiny part of him that wants you to keep on leaving him without sitting on his dining table and having breakfast with him beforehand, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to actually watch you cross the threshold with no assurance of coming back. It’s not your home, after all. He’s not your home.

People are easily replaceable, he understands this a bit better than others; the gun which he used a week ago is hidden in the nightstand drawer right next to him, just above the pile of resignation letters and the new CVs. His phone carries a number of unanswered calls and his computer is filled with thousands of signed documents. When he doesn't feel like sparing a glance towards them, he doesn't.

Everyone is an afterthought. The only promise they'll hold is constantly coming along and leaving. It's a cycle but somehow they never come back. Rindou knows that he needs to start admitting that he's just an afterthought to everyone else too.

Of course he's always anxiously glancing over his phone right after throwing it across the room after sending a you text. Because he's in no place to ask anyone to stay, and he wouldn't dare dream of being asked to stay either.

Just one night, he had typed in. Before you go.

Just one more night, he deceived himself. Before I won't be seeing you again. Before I have to say goodbye and wish you all the best with someone else. Before I have to congratulate you. Before I die. Before I won't be able to love anyone ever again. Don't go. Before I beg you at the airport. Before I cling onto your coat. Before I refuse to let you go. Before I Don't go

He clutched the device tightly, anticipating the blow. Don't go before I—

It's a cycle but somehow they never come back.

Okay. You had agreed on his offer. You owe him that much before departing: the mandatory goodbye and the thank you that was never spoken between the two of you. In case you change your mind, right? Will you ever change your mind? Or has it never changed at all?

It was no doubt the sound of a door opening and then closing. Though he willed himself not to flinch at the noise, he still did. Rindou kept his eyes shut nonetheless, his hand unconsciously reaching out to where your warmth still lingers on the other side of the bed. Just like that, he chose to surrender everything to sleep. It’ll be easier that way. He can wake up again and start over, convince himself that you were never here in the first place.

It’s morning again. Haitani Rindou finds himself awake before his alarm rings. It’s a routine to stay in bed for a while, contemplating about life all the while gathering the will to get up. The ceiling looks a bit higher, the room a little wider. He’ll get ready soon, roaming around the space, finding nothing foreign or out of place in his apartment.

In five more hours he’ll find himself done with his paperwork and in five more, he’ll be sitting in a booth in a crowded club surrounded by his coworkers. He’ll excuse himself. Someone will offer him a cigarette outside but he’ll refuse. He’ll hesitate before shooting you a text.

A cycle, but you'll never come back to him.

“Aren’t you going to wake up?”

Rindou opened his eyes to your question. He scanned the room to find your figure sitting on the couch, where your coat is still draped on one side.

“The tea’s gonna get cold, you know.”

He stared at you. He kept staring at you as if you’re going to vanish into thin air.

“Rindou.” You worriedly called, since he had been unmoving for at least a whole minute.

“Right.” He snapped himself back to reality and hurried to where you are.

There are two brands of tea that he keeps in his pantry: one that he can’t stand but you love to death and the other he likes but you completely hate. He knows you know about this simple fact. He wants to believe you know what it means. Yet you did not comment on it as he makes himself comfortable on the couch, and there was no word spoken between the both of you as he took a sip from his own cup.

You caught him off guard when you laid your head on his shoulder. He wished he had woken up sooner to cook you something, be the one who prepared the tea for you instead.

If it's a cycle, surely you'll come back someday, right?

But he knows exactly what it means to let you go. It's a cycle of him being so stubborn and fooling himself every fucking time. You never actually left. It was just stalling time before you really go and leave him to his own misery and never come back to save him from despair.

He braved himself before asking, “When’s your flight?”

A second dragged on like an eternity with him being imprisoned in his own thoughts.

“There’s no flight.”

Water trickles down the tap, hitting the surface of the sink below. He'd die for you. He'd kill for you. He'd spend the next five hours mourning over your absence and then he'd go on a spree somewhere just so you'd see his face displayed everywhere across the country. Oh but you won't be in the country anymore, will you? He won't even be able to reach you.

"What?"

When it's daytime again, he'll be too scared to realize that not all people are replaceable. Some leave a stain too vivid to bend a lifetime into a cycle of grieving.

“There's no flight, Rin.” You repeated.

Now he knows about this simple fact. You want to believe he knows what it means.

“Okay.” He said after a long while. It was all he could manage to voice out.

“Okay.” You echoed, because there’s nothing else to say.

Silence stretched on for a while. The clock ticks by, listing the things that are returned to him by the second: peace, his hope, his sanity. You? you. you. you.

“You’ll stay?” He asked, breathless. He needed to hear it from you.

“Make me.”

Haitani Rindou will find himself awake before you like he always does. He will stay still despite his arm going numb because he doesn’t want to wake you up. His hand will shield you from the bright city lights. And when you wake up, he will say “good morning” or “good night”. It'll be eventide; he'll decide later. It'll be okay.

You’ll place a hand on his cheek like you usually do, but you won’t leave.

#Tokyo Revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo rev x reader #haitani rindou #rindou haitani #haitani rindou x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers scenarios #rindou x you #rindou x reader

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violetwinterwidow01 · 8 months

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Civil War: Cevyn's Idea (AU)

°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

After Secretary Ross leaves, Cevyn is the first out of the conference room and makes her way to the kitchen to find some Advil. While everyone walks into the living room arguing, she listens closely to see where her fate lies. When it gets quiet, she looks up from daydreaming, to see all eyes on her.

Cevyn: What?

Natasha: What's up with you? You've been out of it since you got here, and your eyes are glowing purple.

Cevyn: They tend to do that when I'm irritated, but I'm calming down.

Steve: What are you irritated about?

Cevyn: The fact that all of you are gonna be up "Shit's Creek" if you go through with this.

Vision steps in to give his point of view, but then they start arguing again. Finally, Tony pulls Cevyn from her thoughts.

Tony: Cev?

Cevyn: Hmm?

Tony: What do you think?

She takes a minute to decide.

Cevyn: I agree to disagree

Rhodey: Meaning...

Cevyn: I concur with both sides. But I also have the best solution to this horrific problem.

Natasha: We're all ears.

Cevyn: We retire. I mean, that was one of the options.

Steve: Cev, we can't just leave.

Cevyn: Can't or don't want to? I thought we were adults. Picture it.

Wanda, and Vision, can finally be together. Tony can start his family with Pepper. Rhodey can continue working for the asshats called the government, although I think you should step back and take a break. Cap can find his best friend and help him adapt to the new world. And Nat, and Sam can finally do what they've been meaning to do.

Natasha and Sam stare at her wide-eyed. She's referring to their families.

Cevyn: Don't look at me crazy, I know. I didn't mean to snoop around but I did and I know everything.

They nod. She walks over to Tony, and gives him a side hug. He kisses her temple and holds on to her.

Vision: That all sounds wonderful, but where does that leave you?

Cevyn smiles happily.

Cevyn: On a private island I bought 6 years ago, off the coast of Brazil.

Tony: How did you afford an island?

Cevyn: Remember that lump sum you gave me, and you said to use it wisely?

He thinks back. And then it dawns on him. They share a smile.

Tony: You invested it.

She nods.

Cevyn: I can see all of us now, living our lives the way we were meant to be. To be honest, I am truly sorry my grandfather walked into your life. But had he not, we would've never become a family. All I ask is that we stay in touch. Call, text, email, write a letter, visit, send a frickin' carrier pigeon for all I care.

They chuckle.

Cevyn: Just check in. Let the government fend for their goddamn selves, and maybe one day they'll realize they do need us. For now let's teach them a lesson, and move on. That way, what my foresight showed me, won't happen.

Sam: What did it show you?

She hesitates to say looking around the room.

Cevyn: That... we were all gonna split up. That there would be hell to pay.

Tony squeezes her shoulder, letting her know it's okay. Everyone looks around the room.

Cevyn: Enough of that, how about I make this deal even sweeter? My island is big enough to be its city. You all are welcome to build your life there. You'll just have to learn another language. I just want you to think about it, and when you’re ready,

She turns and points at Tony.

Cevyn: You know where to find me. I love you guys.

With that they murmur "Love you's" and watches as she walks away. Before she get to the elevator she stops dead in her tracks. She turns around to look at Steve.

Cevyn: Steve...

Although her voice was just below a whisper, he heard her.

Steve: Yeah, Cev?

She stares at him, while he gives her a confused, worried look. Everyone turns toward her seeing her face in shock. Wanda and Vision walk over to her.

Vision: Cevyn, dear? Are you alright?

She shakes her head no, with tears stinging her eyes, and uses her telepathy to tell Steve to check his phone. On cue, he reads the text and stands up to leave.

Steve: I have to go.

Her precognition told her that Peggy had passed away before he received the message.

Wanda looks inside her head and hugs her tightly. She pulls back and cups her face.

Wanda: Go be with him. He needs you.

Cevyn nods and goes after Steve. She finds him at the bottom of the steps, on the brink of tears. She slowly walks down to him, tears uncontrollably rolling down her face, and puts a hand on his shoulder. He grabs her into a hug and holds her tight. She speaks in between sobs.

Cevyn: Steve, listen to me. She's in a better place. She's not suffering anymore.

He nods and silently breaks down, falling to his knees with Cevyn still in his arms.

PART 2???

#avengers #avengers x black!reader #new character #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #vision #wanda maximoff #james rhodes

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letters-from-austin · 2 years

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Monday, May 16th, 2022

Hello there friend, you don't know me, but I am writing this blog letter to tell you about myself and how my life has been lately. I've been told it might be therapeutic. Maybe it will be?

I can tell you my real first name, I don't mind. Every other name I'll be replacing though. Anyways, My name is Austin. It's good to meet you.

I've just been having a very difficult past year. My father away one year ago from cancer at the age of 61, just one week shy of his 62nd birthday. I am still a fucking wreck. I've been trying so hard to keep my family together and relaxed between my little sister, Marie and my older sister, Elizabeth as well as my Mom. They'll get into arguments about stupid things or somebody will say something, usually Elizabeth, that is genuinely a really shitty thing to say to someone. But during those tough times I've had my best friend by my side, Sue.

I met Sue at a call center job 5 years ago and in the training class, I thought she was cute. Gorgeous blonde hair, ocean blue eyes you could get lost in, freckles and glasses. I wanted to talk to her, i worked up the courage and asked if she wanted to hang on her lunch. She Did! I left the company shortly after and she was dating somebody so we sorta drifted away until a few months later when she texted me out of the blue to get dinner. We got together at the local Buffalo Wild Wings and watching her walk through those doors, my heart sunk. Eventually Sue became my best friend, and of course, I developed feelings for my best friend.

I fell in love with my best friend of 5 years because she is my best friend. Everytime I see Sue, my heart sinks like I am seeing her for the first time and falling all over again. I'd be on cloud 9 but to make it short, I am in love with my best friend and now it is a curse.

2 months ago, Sue told me she was talking to somebody. My heart sank but not in the usual way. I broke down, i felt distant. She tried to reassure me that maybe dating still ins't her thing. One month ago, they officially started dating and she told me. I went home after we hung out and threw up and sat in my room all day, no music, no TV, no computer, just sitting there. Heartbroken. Maybe it won't be so bad? Well, one week later, I saw it on Facebook. And then the snapchat posts, the texts she sends me, everything.

Fuck man I'm not ready for this. What's worse, Sue has known I've had feelings for her for years. I've never said the words "I'm in love with her" but I'm afraid if I do, I'll lose my best friend forever, I already feel like I am. My anxiety is telling me to be distant but it's also telling me she is already distant. This sucks man.

I know I am spilling alot on you, all this drama you don't care about. But if you're still reading. Thanks.

When we first talked about that we had feelings for each other. She would tell me she wasn't ready for dating after being in a long relationship and that she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Oh, for any neckbeards out there, fuck off. I believe that she means it. I do. But we were always touchy lovely kinda friends. It always felt like we were a couple just without the stuff that made us a couple. We would embracefully hug each other often, on occasion hold hands when one has had a rough day, eat dinner, meet each others families, rub our hands on the others back to calm them, whatever. But we would also tell each other, "I love you."

I don't think I should be telling Sue I love her anymore but I can't stop. I want to, I always want to tell Sue that I love her.

On my Dad's birthday last week, one year after he passed, we had a family party at a bar, when I arrived I found Sue there. I handed something to my Mom and walked back outside hoping Sue didn't see me.

She did, we walked for a while. I am still always happy to see her, when I saw her, my heart sunk again. For the same reasons as usual and a new reason this time. I NEED to respect her relationship. She loves this dude. I have to respect her feelings. She mentioned when she was there that she was curious as to why I wouldn't touch her, she said it's okay if I don't wanna see "I love you" after she said to me "I love you." I walked Sue to her car and she hugged me and held me tight and asked if it was because of what she told me two weeks, now what 3 weeks prior. I said "Yes," but she didn't deny my feelings. She refused to deny my feelings. She said she doesn't wanna be a bitch me to me and I said maybe you have to. Sue looked at me and told me that she could never be a bitch to me with that beautiful smile on her face. Fuck, man....

I've been in so much emotional pain and I can't tell her why. I wish it was me and her, I wish. I am in love with my best friend and my dream has always to be with my best friend. Isn't that what love is?

I've never been in a real relationship before either, I am a 25 year old male community college student. I am socially awkward and dont understand how people and the world work. Every girl I've had feelings for before, never told me the truth about how they felt back. They gave me hope and ripped it out of my heart because they never communicated with me.

Sue, has given me a key to her house a few years ago and it makes me so fucking guilty to have it now. Why do I have it? Why should I have it??? Before Sue left the party, she kept assuring me that my feelings are valid. She told me it is okay to have that little piece of hope but my heart has been broken and crushed so many times before, I am so scared to open up my heart again.

I downloaded dating apps and just nobody, not a single person on that app, sparks my interest. None of them are attractive to me, they are attractive people thought but not to me. None of them are my best friend.

What the hell is wrong with me?

#relationship #love #relationship advice #best friend #I am in love #blog #long text

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striped-carpet · 3 years

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M. List

Bakugo Relationship Headcanons:

A/N: I've been having a lot of mini Bakugo brianrot recently and thought this would be fun to make, as it's been a while since I've written anything tbh

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I feel like it would be very hard to catch his eye, considering how focused he is on becoming a hero

And even then, I don't think that he's had much experience with crushes before

Basically what I'm getting at is that this man-child barely has a grasp on what's going on with his emotions

He first started to suspect something was up when he started to get butterflies whenever he was around/thinking about you

He would also feel heat rise to his cheeks, but furiously denied it whenever he got teased by the bakusquad

To go along with that, he stopped seeing you as competition, but instead a fellow classmate that he happened to have an infatuation with

As for asking you out, I'm stuck on weather or not he would:

A) Do it in person

B) Write a letter/text you

C) Wait for you to ask him out

As I've stated before, I headcanon that he would like to go to junkyards and things like that

That being said, he probably took you to a junkyard or river for your first date, as well as a local diner if you're up for it

It would take a lot for him to let his walls down, but once you're able to break them he's never shy with how he feels when he's with you

He can be stubborn and arrogant as well, but would tone it down if you asked him to

I feel like he would secretly adore it if you were shy, but if you aren't then that works too

If someone ever made fun of you, there's a good chance he's coming for their throat

Same goes for perverts *cough* Mineta *cough*

He's always pushing you to do your best, but makes sure it's not too much for you

He also makes it known to you that if you ever need help, he'll always be there to offer his shoulder

He likes it when you get angry (or act even remotely like him in general), but isn't sure why

This boy is honestly a hopeless romantic at heart (same tbh), and wants nothing more than to see you happy

I also headcanon him to be a fan of chubbier people, but overall doesn't really care about how your body looks

Instead, he cares more about personality, as cliché as it sounds

He also enjoys cooking for you, and you two can sometimes be spotted cooking together when either one of you can't sleep

Speaking of sleep, it's a known fact that he goes to bed at 8:32 P.M., but I don't think he's a very sound sleeper

That being said, if you ever need help with something during the night, you can just call him and he'll be there as soon as he can

If you're someone who gets a period, he'll try to help you as best as he can

Although he's far from an expert on those things, I feel like he would have some background knowledge from his mother

I feel like she taught him about things like that for future reference, as well how to treat someone correctly in a relationship

I don't feel like he says "I love you" as much as he should, and he knows that, but he hopes that you can tell how much he loves and cares about you through his actions

For example, he softens his voice with you, as well as being more gentle with his touch

I have a feeling he wouldn't like holding hands just because of how much his hands sweat

He's afraid that he might accidentally activate his quirk and hurt you

He does enjoy cuddling, though

Arguments are a common occurrence with him, but they never turn into full on fights

Your combined yells can be heard throughout the dorm's, and if the other students sense it's getting bad, they'll send Kirishima to calm you guys down

His mother absolutely adores you, and often invites you to go out with her

Weather it be shopping or something completely different, you two always have a fun time

His father likes you a lot as well

I can imagine you two sitting at the table while Mitsuki and Katsuki yell back and forth at each other

Just talking about how each of your days have been with their quarrels as background noise

Katsuki is also a fan of doing domestic things together, and wouldn't mind having you by his side for the rest of his life

Overall, I feel like he would be a decent boyfriend, but is also far from perfect

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Thanks for reading! Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and have a great day/night! :)

#bakugo headcanons #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha #mha #bakugo #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugou #bnha bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

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So, this started off as a shipping bingo for MDZS nie//lan; I've added the bingo meme above so that you know what you're getting into. What it evolved into, however, is several thousand words of close reading of the NMJ+LXC relationship, getting some into the 3//zun dynamics and comparing it with LXC and JGY's relationship to help demonstrate my point. If that sounds interesting to you, read away! Fair warning: as you might gather from the bingo above I am not very gentle, not only on the idea of a romantic relationship but also on their friendship.

Originally, I imagined I'd be saying something like, while of course they were very good friends and LXC grieves for NMJ, there's no evidence of romantic interest. But I wanted to look over the scenes first, to get a handle on them properly and to pick out some quotes; and what I found, when I looked at it closely, startled me—I couldn't believe how little there actually was.

My methodology for this review, by the way: I searched the entire text for every variation on their name I could think of, and then read over the chapter for chapters they were both mentioned in. I also reviewed chapters where only one of them is mentioned (that's how I caught the reference in ch 16, where NMJ is only referred to as NHS' brother). I might have missed something, or I might have read it and not registered it, etc etc. I definitely don't have JGY's memory XP But I've done my best to be thorough.

Also, a heads up: while I've done a little bit of addressing NMJ's emotions, this is mostly focused on what LXC feels, because otherwise this would be even more ridiculously long and because that's where my interest lies.

I'll state my conclusions up front, in case you just want to know what I think and not have to wade through [mumble] thousand words to get there. But it's far enough off from even the standard non-shippy take on their relationship that I really did think it was worth walking through the evidence.

It seems to me that while NMJ and LXC were to some extent close before the war, they grew apart during the war and very much so afterwards. There are a few moments that suggest NMJ might feel unusually tender towards LXC, there is nothing similar on LXC's part, and frankly their post-Sunshot interactions that we see suggest that—while LXC certainly cares about him—he does not at all feel close to him.

Moreover, his personal grief for NMJ's death, and whatever personal betrayal he may feel about JGY killing his, LXC's, friend, are not the drivers of his emotional difficulties with respect to JGY.

Okay, now the evidence. This has been divided up into two parts, NMJ alive and NMJ dead.

Pt I: NMJ alive

LXC and NMJ were friends before Sunshot; while we don't have a lot of evidence to guess how close they were, we can certainly see signs of long familiarity with each other in their later interactions, and it's worth noting that we don't see either of them having other friends beyond, in LXC's case, JGY.*

*NMJ got along with his subordinate MY very well, but except for one incident it was purely in the context of a superior/subordinate relationship, and he does not seem to have been interested in MY as a person, so I'm not classing them as friends.

Nevertheless, during Sunshot, we can see LXC begin to grow apart from him, and in their post-Sunshot interactions they start not very close and end up quite distant. By the time if NMJ's death, it's clear that while LXC cares about him, he is not emotionally close to him at all.

A brief discussion of NMJ's feelings, before I spend most of the rest of the post focusing on LXC's. As I mentioned above, LXC seems to be NMJ's only friend, and he does react to him in ways he doesn't really seem to anyone else. In the teacups scene, for example, we're told that "while Nie MingJue had never been one for humor," nevertheless "in front of Lan XiChen, his expression eased." Later, towards the end of the stairs incident, LXC is able to dissuade him from immediately pursuing JGY's death, which I believe is as much as we see anyone ever do with NMJ's anger. Finally, in ch 46, when LXC and LWJ are playing music to deal with NMJ's headless corpse, WWX thinks that NMJ might particularly be responding to LXC playing Liebing: "Wei WuXian didn’t know if it was only his imagination, but as soon as the soft, serene tone of the xiao appeared, the corpse’s movement paused. For a moment, he seemed to have stood still and listened, then turned around, as though he wanted to see who was the one playing the music."

If you wanted to say that NMJ has romantic or quasi-romantic feelings about LXC, then I don't think that would be an unreasonable extrapolation from the text, although I also don't think it's a necessary one; friendship and minor romantic feelings are I think pretty much equally fair readings.

Even so, LXC is not his priority; rather, he prioritizes NHS and (probably not unrelatedly) JGY's moral rectitude. In Ch 48, the friendly 3zun conversation only happens because NMJ was seeking LXC out to bring him NHS' saber, which he'd left behind, and when he qi deviates it's NHS and not LXC who manages to bring him some calm just before he dies, and whose features he can recognize (ch 50). At the Phoenix Mountain Hunt (ch 69-70), we see no sign that either he or LXC sought each other out, and on those occasions we do see NMJ initiate discussion with LXC it's usually about JGY's moral rectitude (ch 73, his sarcastic remark about JGY's hard work after the conference about WWX; ch 49, his interjection during the guqin scene; ch 49, the beginning of the stairs incident).

And what about what LXC feels? Let's take a close look at the progression of their relationship.

In chapter 16, when NHS is studying at Cloud Recesses, we see LXC run into him and convey NMJ's query into his studies, having apparently recently returned from Qinghe. While he doesn't say what he was doing there, it seems reasonable to infer that he was either visiting NMJ or at least visited him while he was there. (ETA: NHS also hopes that LXC will put in some good words for him to NMJ, which also suggests that he expects they'll be in contact.) This establishes a baseline of closeness from before the war, however much they drift apart during and after. However, we never see any of their interactions before the war, or anything else about their relationship; this is all we get.

The high point of the NMJ and LXC interactions that we see on page happen during Sunshot, where we see them have three conversations (all in ch 48). High point, however, is a relative phrase. In order, there's the teacups scene; there's their conversation (including MY) after NMJ agrees to release MY from his service, with a recommendation letter no less; and there's their conversation where NMJ recounts what happened with MY in Langya.

Let's start with the teacups scene. NMJ and LXC do talk, but it's part of a group conversation with other cultivators—at least three and as many as six of whom we see interject,* one of whom is another sect leader—and it seems mostly about practical or immediate matters. The exchange on the page isn't long and "Soon afterward, Lan XiChen and the rest stood up" and are led to their resting areas by MY. Moreover, interestingly, it's NMJ who asks all the questions; LXC answers him, but doesn't ask him questions in turn, or comment on his situation.

*there are two separate occasions where there cultivators per chime in

(Note also that the focus of the conversation suggests that NMJ and LXC aren't communicating extensively through letters or anything, as does LXC not knowing MY is NMJ's deputy. I don't think this is hugely significant, given that there's a war on and presumably they don't want information leaking everywhere and LXC doesn't seem to have a fixed address, but it does seem worth noting—as does the implication, perhaps more significant, that LXC only stops at Hejian when he's escorting other cultivators: "Everytime Lan XiChen passed Hejian as he was escorting other cultivators, he would rest shortly[.]")

NMJ and LXC's conversation in the teacups scene stands in really stark contrast to the conversation between LXC and MY that NMJ is about to overhear. That conversation is very much private; it's in LXC's private resting area, and MY is sitting in the presence of Zewu-Jun. The conversation is sort of about the war, but really only as it relates to MY's dream of "earn[ing] a proper place in the LanlingJin Sect" and "receiv[ing] the approval of [his] father." The very first thing we hear LXC say is a comment on MY's situation ("What a coincidence. You joined MingJue-xiong’s force and became his deputy")! He is of course going to go on to raise the possibility of MY going to Langya (to serve his father), and independently volunteer to talk to NMJ if NMJ isn't willing to let MY go. And even after NMJ joins them, some things are kept private between LXC and MY; when he asks them how they know each other, LXC refuses to answer, and then when he asks MY to answer as LXC will not, MY also refuses him, since LXC doesn't want it spoken.

The two conversations are simply very different, in a way that suggests a strong contrast between LXC's feelings for and interest in NMJ and LXC's feelings for and interest in MY. It's also worth noting, as I mentioned above, that it seems that NMJ sought LXC out because he was bringing LXC NHS' sabre, so LXC can bring it on to NHS.

Now, let's look at the conversation the three of them have after NMJ volunteers to give MY a letter of recommendation and send him to serve his father in Langya. This conversation is, I think, the high point of the interactions they have that we actually see. LXC expresses a positive evaluation of NMJ: "Look, I told you that MingJue-xiong would respect your decision." He smiles at NHS' sabre, and responds directly to NMJ. And then of course there's this famous paragraph:

The three chatted back and forth, at times serious, yet at times light. The conversation was much more relaxed than when they had been in the living room. Listening to their chatter, Wei WuXian often wanted to get a word in as well, yet he was unable to do so.

That said...well. Again, there's nothing about anything here that suggests romance, and if you look at the reasons I give for it being the high point, that's not actually very high. As to the paragraph—again, I do think they're friends! But I think it's also noteworthy that the easiest conversation we see/hear about them having is one that is early in the war,* and where MY is also present, and one where NMJ has just done something good for MY.

*MY is noted as having joined the Nie forces "right after" Sunshot begins, and to have been promoted to NMJ's deputy after not many interactions; LXC also seems surprised at least by MY being NMJ's deputy, which suggests that he hasn't stopped there before while this was the case, and he comes by in the paragraph immediately after MY is promoted. Finally, after MY vanishes after his confrontation with NMJ in Langya, we're told that "during the next few years" no traces could be found of him. All taken together, this suggests to me that MY was NMJ's deputy for 1-2 months early in the war, and the conversation of course takes place at the very end of that period

(As ever, I recommend confusion-and-more's close reading of the second scene, here.)

The next interaction that's mentioned in the text is after MY tricks and immobilizes NMJ and flees, when NMJ describes what happened with him to LXC. I think it's worth noting exactly how the exchange is introduced:

Even when Lan XiChen had the time to assist Langya, a few days later, his anger hadn’t died down one bit. As soon as he came, Lan XiChen laughed, “MingJue-xiong, what a temper you seem to be in. Where is Meng Yao? Why does he not come and douse your flames?”

"As soon as he came," note! It seems to be literally the first thing LXC says. And while it is a comment on NMJ's state, its primary function seems to be as a lead-in to asking about the state/whereabouts of MY. Their exchange as the text shows us is /entirely/ about MY, and he's clearly the focus of LXC's interest. We also have this from LXC, which I think is interesting as it shows the contrast between his morality and NMJ's:

"Judging from his words, the person whom he killed had definitely done wrong. However, he should not have taken his life either. We are in harsh times, so it is quite difficult to determine who was at fault."

Their next interaction is in chapter 49, LXC defending MY from NMJ post Sun Palace—and I don't just mean verbally, he's defending against Baxia with an unsheathed Shuoyue through this whole conversation. At this point, he still has some faith in NMJ's ability to act rationally towards MY, as he asks MY if MY hadn't told NMJ about his being the spy, and NMJ displays familiarity with LXC, knowing that he rarely interrupted people. I'll note that unlike in CQL, LXC does not seem particularly angry at this point—MDZS LXC is almost never angry, including at multiple points where CQL LXC /is/—but overall it's hardly an example of particular closeness, and we see that LXC's morality continues to differ from NMJ's: "MingJue-xiong," he says of MY, "he was undercover in Qishan, and sometimes there would be some things that… could not have been helped."

Later in the chapter, just before the Flower Banquet, it's mentioned (possibly as inference from WWX) that LXC brought up the sworn brotherhood to NMJ, "having always hoped that the two [NMJ and JGY] would reconcile." Obviously we can infer things about their closeness from the fact that LXC does in fact swear brotherhood with NMJ, but we have no direct textual statement as to why he wanted to swear /himself/ to NMJ, be that personal or political or both.

Next comes the Flower Banquet. NMJ seeks JGY out, first, for his usual concerns with JGY's moral rectitude. Shortly after, LWJ and LXC come over; shortly after that, JC and WWX come over, though they soon move on. There are two things I want to note here. First, it's the only time we see LXC seek NMJ out (and one of only two times we see one of them seek the other out—the other will be in ch 73, after the conference about WWX, when NMJ comes over to him and JGY talking). Second, this is the only time we see LXC respond to NMJ verbally post-Sunshot in a way that isn't about defending someone, either JGY (the usual case) or WQ (at the conference in ch 73)—although it is to some degree a defense of WWX, and it's not quite directly in reply to NMJ, as NMJ and LWJ have a brief exchange on the subject first. These positive signs will not occur again, and I think it's significant that this is the earliest post-Sunshot scene we see.

The next scene for this analysis (chronologically speaking; it's in an entirely different chapter) is the Phoenix Mountain Hunt. Although we see NMJ and LXC arrive to the hunt in ch 69, NMJ arrives after the Twin Jades have started slowly riding into the distance and we don't actually see them interact at all; nor do we see them together in ch 70, the rest of the hunt. Moreover, there doesn't really seem to be any suggestion that they /did/ interact. When JGY says he's not sure if he'll be able to expand the hunting ground in two hours, LXC asks him why, instead of saying something like "oh right da-ge was doing all that hunting too." Moreover, when JGY answers him ("not only did Young Master Wei keep a third of the prey to himself, our eldest brother has eliminated over half of the fays and the monsters as well"), LXC's response doesn't indicate that he saw NMJ earlier, or knew what he was doing, though it does suggest a general familiarity with Nie Mingjue's character: 'Hearing this, Lan XiChen laughed, “That is how Brother is like, after all.”'

Now, this hardly rules out the idea that they had any interaction, but I think it at least suggests they didn't have any significant interaction, or any interaction after the hunt began. This is in contrast (again!) to his relationship with JGY—he was with him earlier for who knows how long, as they arrive on the scene together, and after this is going to go help expand the hunting grounds. They do have LWJ with them for this last, but he's helping them at LXC's request, and the framing of that request is very—well: "WangJi, should we leave, or would you like to help as well?" So LWJ can come help them, but if he doesn't want to, LXC is simply going to go off with JGY again.

If the Flower Banquet was the high point of their actual interactions on the page, post-Sunshot, then this is I think the most purely emotionally positive we see LXC feel about NMJ post-Sunshot. Significantly, it's based on an apparently older familiarity, and it's when they don't seem to have interacted recently and NMJ isn't even on the page.

The next scene they're in together, again chronologically, is in chapter 73. They're seated together in the first row, but that's explicitly because of their status, and they're grouped with LWJ and JC: "In the front row sat sect leaders and famed cultivators like Nie MingJue, Jiang Cheng, Lan XiChen, and Lan WangJi." During the conference, they have a brief conflict about WQ's culpability, which LXC leaves off explicitly because he's familiar with NMJ's hatred for the Wen. After the conference, we're told "the Venerated Trio gathered," but what this looks like in practice is LXC and JGY talking together and then NMJ coming over. LXC observed that JGY has worked hard, JGY is amused by the destruction JC wrought on his table, and then NMJ interrupts with a negative comment about JGY*: "All clever talk—hard work indeed." LXC smiles but doesn't reply. JGY tries to change the subject by asking LXC where LWJ is, and LXC gestures to the front, where LWJ and Mianmian are finishing up their conversation. NMJ compliments Mianmian, and JGY agrees. That's the end of the scene. I noted for the Flower Banquet that that scene unusually involves LXC replying verbally to NMJ in a way that isn't /just/ about defending someone; here, LXC does not speak a single word after NMJ joins them.

*In the interests of not being unfair I will note that NMJ did observe JGY lie; this doesn't really matter to the NMJ-LXC stuff except that it's a lie that LXC would also have noticed, as it involved contradicting LWJ.

NMJ and LXC are once again in the same scene in ch 78, for the swearing ceremony, and even speak one after the other. However, they don't seem to interact in any way, and their speech seems to be an important sect leader thing; we're told of their responses to JGS' toast, and then JC is explicitly contrasted in not speaking:

Nie MingJue, “May their souls live on.”

Lan XiChen, “Rest in peace.”

Jiang Cheng, however, still had on a darkened expression. He didn’t say anything even after he poured the wine.

Now we're back in the Empathy chapters, after a not insignificant gap: the next scene is the guqin scene, in chapter 49. Although LXC is playing guqin in the Unclean Realm, and is going to offer to teach JGY the Song of Clarity which he can use on NMJ, LXC and NMJ barely interact at all—they only have one very brief exchange, where NMJ objects to LXC teaching JGY the SoC (because it's leaking Lan techniques), LXC defends his decision, and NMJ realizes he's not going to change his mind so he doesn't say anything. Again, in contrast, LXC is very focused on JGY, asking him questions about his background, complimenting his playing, and independently offering to help him improve his guqin and even teach him an "exclusive teaching" of the Lan! The contrast is very noticeable.

A little after this, it's revealed that LXC left a guqin at the UR, apparently for JGY to use to play the SoC to NMJ. This is ostensibly because he is busy with the rebuilding of CR, although WWX speculates that this is just an excuse and that he "simply wanted to give Nie MingJue and Jin GuangYao a chance to ease their tension."

In chapter 30, it's revealed that at a Discussion Conference in the past, NMJ (who we are told otherwise would not have shown up, note, although it would have been an opportunity to see LXC) confronts the Jin about their refusal to sentence XY to death. He draws his sabre with the intent of killing XY, and gives JGY "a harsh scolding," causing JGY to "hid[e] behind Lan XiChen, not daring to say anything else." It seems likely that LXC defends JGY and/or helps to calm NMJ down, although nevertheless the Jin Sect has to (temporarily) give in on the matter of XY's death sentence; nothing about any further interaction they may have is noted.

Their next interaction is at the stairs incident, back in chapter 49. NMJ charges in on LXC and JGY, who are discussing the watchtower plans together, and tells LXC to stay there and JGY to come out with him. LXC's "face disclose[s] his worry," but JGY stops him and follows NMJ out. Some time later, LXC shows up at the conflict, coming to see what's happening, "concerned after having waited for long." He manages to calm NMJ down and prevent him from further trying to kill JGY, by talking about the work JGY has put in with the Song of Clarity, pointing out that he really is in a terrible situation, and urging NMJ to give him more time. Nothing he says particularly suggests that he feels close to NMJ; if anything, he seems kind of in denial about just how much NMJ is set against JGY.

Finally, there is their last interaction, just before NMJ's death. LXC is defending—well, not so much NMJ as the idea that NMJ hasn't rejected JGY completely, to JGY. His arguments are as follows: NMJ chose to become sworn brothers with JGY, which means he approves of JGY; when NMJ included in the oath stuff about "face a thousand accusing fingers, be torn from limb to limb," and so forth, he /also/ included "if one were to think otherwise," and since JGY doesn't think otherwise, he doesn't need to worry about it too much; that NMJ has always cherished JGY's talent and hoped he would choose the right path; and finally, that he's really really troubled by the saber spirit, that "[h]is anger was simply too great for him to have thought before speaking," and that JGY must not provoke him again (presumably by talking back, as he did at the stairs). As shining defenses of character go, this... isn't one. Again, he seems like he's kind of in denial about how much NMJ is set against JGY—notably, he didn't see all of the stairs incident, certainly not the part before JGY talked back—but it also doesn't exactly contain a strong positive assessment of NMJ. Forget his defense of JGY to Wangxian: this doesn't even compare to his confidence in NMJ in the conversation NMJ overhears and then joins at the Hejian front.

I realize all this is a lot, so to sum up their post-Sunshot interactions: we only see LXC seek out NMJ once, early post-Sunshot, and that's at a party. The fondest LXC seems of NMJ is one line during the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, when NMJ isn't even on-page. We do not see them spend any time privately together when JGY is not also there, and every time they interact publically JGY is also present at the party or gathering. When we do see them interact, the only time LXC responds verbally directly to NMJ is in defense of someone; if we include his indirect defense of WWX at the Flower Banquet, then that becomes 'the only time we see LXC respond verbally to NMJ at all.'

This is not of course to say that they don't have interactions we don't see. Given the time gaps, they must! But there's nothing about the interactions we *do* see to suggest that the ones we don't are in any way actually emotionally close, certainly not on LXC's part. Again, a contrast with his interactions with JGY is instructive; as with NMJ, we certainly don't see all of their interactions, but what we do see signals their closeness, mutual respect, and tendency to spend time together.

PT II: NMJ dead

Okay, you say, but wait! What about the depth of his renewed grief after he finds NMJ's body!! What about his deep personal betrayal about JGY killing his close friend!!!

Yes, I say, wild-eyed, having tried to find anything in the text for just that. what /about/ all that.

My problem is, how do I prove a negative? In the chapters with NMJ alive, LXC's presence and his interactions with NMJ are short enough that I could reasonably if lengthily discuss and summarize; that's just not going to work here (there are twelve and a half temple chapters!), not least because some of it is a matter of context or interpretation. So I'm doing two things. First, where we do see him actively upset, I'm going to show you what he seems upset about, and second, I'm going to point out places where we might expect him to react if he's feeling a deep personal grief about NMJ specifically, and instead he does not, or reacts differently.

Let's start with chapter 46, where LXC sees NMJ's moving corpse for the first time. I've seen the idea around that LXC recognized NMJ by his abs, but this doesn't really seem to be the case; it's either the shape of his (headless) body or his saber-fighting movements. Significantly, LWJ also recognizes it at the exact same time: "As they saw the headless shadow, both [LXC and LWJ] paused shortly." LXC's reaction to this recognition is extreme surprise, "almost to the point of shocked," and he takes a bit to resume playing Liebing, joining LWJ on the guqin (to deal with the headless corpse that's going around). 'Shock' is hardly incompatible with immense personal grief, but I will note that in this section he is also not described as anything other than shocked, although it is his first time seeing NMJ's body in ten years.

In a few paragraphs they deal with the corpse, attacking its energy enough that it falls back into pieces. As WWX seals the pieces back into his qiankun pouch, LXC asks him to wait: he wants to look at the corpse first, and he's described as having an "ashen" complexion. In context, though, both of these things seem to me to be about the likely identity of NMJ's killer, rather than NMJ himself; when LXC says he want to look at the corpse, WWX asks him if he recognizes the corpse, but it's not LXC who replies: "Before Lan XiChen could reply, Lan WangJi already nodded slowly." Moreover, as WWX points out, LWJ has already given LXC all the evidence that points at JGY as the killer—and also, after they do start talking about the identity of the killer, LXC shows no further interest in the corpse. This, from WWX, seems to me to sum up LXC's emotional conflict in this conversation: "Sect Leader Lan, you know who is the most suspicious person. You’re just refusing to admit it." It's not about NMJ being the corpse per se; it's what NMJ being the corpse suggests JGY did. ETA: I look at this scene in more detail here.

(I'll also note that the very first time we see LXC have anything to do with NMJ's corpse, it's in chapter 11, in the context of LWJ asking if LXC is visiting JGY "again" and a paragraph on JGY from WWX which includes the revelation that he and LXC are sworn brothers on the one hand, and LXC talking about LWJ being in good spirits and bringing guests home on the other. Meanwhile, NMJ's arm: 'Lan XiChen spoke, “Uncle has taken and examined what you brought back from Mo Village.”'

Now obviously we can't infer LXC's feelings about NMJ from this directly, given that he doesn't know it's NMJ's arm at the time, but it's certainly textually suggestive, and it very much fits in with a pattern of LXC prioritizing JGY and LWJ.)

That's most of the end of chapter 46; the next chapter has LXC, LWJ, and WWX going to the discussion conference at Carp Tower. Again, it's kind of hard to prove a negative, and LXC's reactions aren't really described at great length (though he does of course greet JGY with a smile); the only thing that seems unusual is that he seems "absent-minded."

Chapters 48 and 49, and part of 50, are the Empathy chapters. After WWX escapes from the flashback and returns to LWJ, he and LWJ start causing a ruckus trying to get into JGY's bedchamber (to get to his secret room). An audience is attracted, including LXC. Taking a cue from LWJ, he pressures his way into the treasure room; he seems relieved when NMJ's head isn't behind the curtain WWX lifts. He has—well, he certainly has a few emotional reactions, but at no point does he seem driven by grief over NMJ instead of uncertainty about JGY. At one point he "nod[s] heavily" to confirm to NHS that he's talking about NMJ. Or consider this exchange:

Jin GuangYao’s eyes still held tears, but appeared as if they were red with anger. He clenched his hands into fists and shouted with both grief and resentment, “Dismembered… Dismembered! Who in this world could’ve done such an insane act?!”

Lan XiChen shook his head, “I do not know. When we were searching for the head, the clues disappeared.”

Now obviously JGY is acting—but he's acting the role of someone who /is/ personally mourning NMJ, and he's showing more anger than LXC ever does about it. Now—to be fair, MDZS LXC gets angry even less than CQL LXC, who is hardly an angry person. But there are a few times we do see him angry—certain moments confronting JGY in the temple, in the temple courtyard when he's angry at WWX for how he's treated LWJ—and what happens to NMJ's body, never mind the fact of the death itself, doesn't seem to make the list.

In chapter 63, WWX wakes up in CR, having been recovering for four days. In this chapter and the next two, LXC becomes increasingly distressed as they discover the Song of Turmoil and the evidence seems to weigh against Jin Guangyao, enough that it's not really feasible to review every instance of it. Nevertheless, there are a couple of parts I think it's worth looking at directly.

In chapter 64, we get something extremely valuable: LXC's statement of his own emotional quandary.

Lan XiChen supported his head on his hand. His voice was low, as though he was trying to hold something back, “WangJi, the version of Jin GuangYao that I know is entirely different compared to the version that you know and the version that the world knows! Throughout all these years, in my eyes, he has always been… enduring his suffer, caring for all people, treating everyone with respect. I have always believed, without a doubt, that the criticism he received from others all came from misunderstandings, that what I knew how he truly is. Now, you want me to believe, at once, that everything about this person is fake, that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers, that I was also a part of his plan and even helped him… Could you please allow me some more discretion before I make my own judgement?”

So, what is he distressed by here? It's quite clearly the idea that he /doesn't/ know JGY, that the JGY he knows is fake, a falsehood, and relatedly that their relationship is not as he understands it ("that I was also a part of his plan and even helped him"). JGY killing NMJ is obviously what inspires this crisis, but it's not at all what's centered in his speech here, and even the half-sentence mention that it gets doesn't frame it at all in terms of NMJ's relationship to LXC. "He planned to kill one of his sworn brothers," he says, not "our sworn brother" or "my sworn brother" or even "my friend."

(The paragraph immediately following reads to me more like WWX's conclusions than narrative certainty, but either way, it's not about his personal relationship with NMJ: "Lan XiChen had taught Jin GuangYao the Song of Clarity, keeping in mind the grudge between Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue, hoping that they could be how they used to be. He requested Jin GuangYao to help calm Nie MingJue in place of him. Who would’ve known that his kindness made possible Jin GuangYao’s cruelty? How should he face himself now?")

Later in the chapter, there's the famous section where he tells WWX about his and LWJ's parents' story. I do think part of this is about telling WWX something about LWJ (although not that LWJ has feelings for him, which MDZS LXC thinks he already knows), but it's also pretty transparently about his own uncertainty re: JGY.

He paused before speaking again, “Young Master Wei, can you understand why he did such a thing?”

Wei WuXian answered after a moment of silence, “He could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.”

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

A while later, [Lan Xichen speaks again, in a whisper]

He spoke, “Madam Lan must’ve been a very gentle woman.”

Lan XiChen, “In my memories, Mother had indeed been so. I do not know why she did such a thing back then. And, in truth, I…”

He took in a deep breath before confessing, “Do not want to know either.”

It's not what you might call subtle.

But it's also worth noting, I think, exactly what LXC focuses on telling the story. It was one of his father's teachers that his mother killed—and while that is absolutely a very important position, and obviously would have mattered and indeed did matter to QHJ a great deal—that's literally all the information we get about him, that he was QHJ's teacher. He lingers on why QHJ did what he did, and whether it was the right thing; he talks about the crime his mother committed, and his response to that. He does not focus at all on the teacher, the clear NMJ-analogue in this scenario. He's not QHJ's beloved teacher, or his favourite teacher, or anything like that—he's not even just "his teacher," he's "one of his teachers." And maybe that's all the information he has about him, but he doesn't linger on that question either! Again, there's nothing here to suggest that his conflict is about his personal connection with NMJ.

ETA: I actually missed something here. Thanks to some critique in the notes (and which I discuss more extensively in the post linked at the bottom of the page), I looked at the Chinese here, and the word LXC uses for teacher is 恩师, which Pleco gives me as “mentor; one’s kind and respected master (or teacher).” So on the one hand, that's not nothing. On the other hand, the point remains that it's only one word, LXC isn't adding lots of adjectives on to describe the teacher, and as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, simply doesn't linger on the teacher in his conversation with WWX; the focus is elsewhere. I think the point as a whole stands.

Now to the temple chapters. I think it's fairly well-known, at this point, that he doesn't bring up NMJ to JGY in the temple chapters, but I'm going to point it out again—he doesn't bring up NMJ to JGY in the temple chapters! And this is, I feel, even more significant in MDZS, where he's seen NMJ's fierce corpse. That said, there are a few instances where he reacts to NMJ/NMJ's corpse; I'm going to look at all of them.

First of all, in ch 104 when WWX says "Looks like being called the son of a prostitute is really Sect Leader Jin’s weak spot. No wonder you killed ChiFeng-Zun," we're told that "With the mention of Nie MingJue, Lan XiChen’s expression changed." No further details are provided; we don't know what it changes into, and the only hint we have as to what it changes /from/ is that LXC's last described reaction, only two paragraphs previous, was calling "Sect Leader Jin" because he knew JGY was about to fuck with JC. Also interestingly, LXC does /not/ have any reaction described when JGY and JC have the "isn't it hard being your shixiong/isn't it even harder being your sworn brother" exchange, earlier in chapter 101. Perhaps his reaction is simply not noted by the text—it seems unlikely he has literally zero reaction to it—but if we're looking for a difference, it seems like it's either the explicit reference to killing NMJ, or the reminder of NMJ calling JGY the son of a prostitute.

Second, there's the moment NMJ('s fierce corpse) shows up (ch 106). He, JGY, and NHS all say "Brother." JGY and LXC's responses are one paragraph after the other, and the punctuation is the same: "… Brother."* Meanwhile, NHS reacts first, a few paragraphs earlier, and he cries out, "Brother!!!" We're told that "[their] three tones were drastically different," which is interesting as well. NHS seems in the grip of some strong, active emotion—excitement? grief? We're explicitly told that JGY is scared. Whatever LXC's tone is, it's hard to say—but it's not like NHS'.

*(In the original text it looks like LXC's is "…Brother." and JGY's is "…Brother...", but either way they're significantly more similar to each other's than either is to NHS'.)

Thirdly and finally, when the Jin cultivators are fighting NMJ's corpse (ch 107), NHS peers out from behind LXC's back and calls out to NMJ ("both frightened and eager"), leading NMJ to charge at them. LXC stops him by playing Liebing, then then tries to get him to recognize identifying NHS ("Brother, this is Huaisang!"); the latter unfortunately does not work, NMJ being totally overcome by resentful energy. This section does actually have some evidence of grief: when he plays Liebing, it's described as "with a sob of Liebing."

He'll continue to try and deal with NMJ's corpse, notably with LWJ and WWX, but those three moments are the only times he reacts to NMJ (as NMJ, as opposed to as a fierce corpse that needs to be dealt with). That's not a lot, and each moment is very brief, not to mention fairly ambiguous about LXC's emotional reaction. If he /was/ being driven by his grief for NMJ's death, you would think we'd see more of it.

Furthermore, there's one moment I think it's important to pull out as explicitly not about NMJ. LXC tells JGY (and had told him previously) not to call LXC er-ge, /not/ because he killed da-ge (which you might expect!) but because of the second siege: “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer the need to call me ‘Brother.’”

Now, to be clear, it's not that LXC's reactions to things just aren't described in the temple sequence in general. Obviously we see him react when he's telling LWJ about WWX's feelings, but even beyond that, even when he's occupying a more background role in the narrative, we're given his reaction quite a few times. He sighs when LWJ seals his spiritual powers (ch 100); he tends to NHS, covering with his outer robe (ch 102), comforting him when he's disturbed at the sight of the coffin (ch 103), protecting him from SMS (after NHS frames him for stabbing him, ch. 107) and from NMJ (ch 107), and comforting him and giving him pain medicine about the wound in his leg (ch 108); along with LWJ, he's distressed by the sound of JC's sword-scraping technique against JGY's music (ch 101); he tries to warn JC a couple of times when JC is fighting JGY (ch 101), cautions JL (ch 101) and later JC (ch 102) about worsening JC's injuries, and along with JL, WWX, and LWJ freezes when JC slaps JL to the ground (ch 102); he asks Minshan why he's being rude to LWJ, and a little later, with SMS and JL, pauses in astonishment when LWJ laughs (ch 100); he averts his gaze from and seems perhaps embarassed by the ghosts that WWX summons (ch 104); he calls out to WWX to remind him that his current body is closely related to JGY, and will therefore attract NMJ's fierce corpse (ch 107). He actually has a couple of entertaining reactions to Wangxian being Wangxian: he coughs and tells WWX it is maybe not the best time and place for this when WWX is about to repeat "I really wanted to sleep with you," and then later he and Jin Ling inexplicably! move their sitting cushions far away from Wangxian's and gaze into the distance (ch 100).

And more than anything else—in what I think is a very instructive contrast—he reacts to JGY, in a way that reflects an ongoing continual emotional investment. He is, quite notably, consistently worried about JGY and unable to stand the sight of him in pain, even when he thinks he shouldn't be. When the coffin trap goes off, and they overhear Jin cultivators wailing and a pungent smoke emerges, there's worry in LXC's eyes; after JGY and Minshan make it out, and JGY takes some medicine against the poison, LXC hesitates for a moment and then asks what happened (ch 103). After LWJ cuts JGY's hand off—which means /after/ he's taken JL hostage, note—LXC "seemed as though he wanted to help him for an instant," though "in the end he dared not" (ch 106). When Minshan asks him for medicine for JGY, seeing how terrible JGY looks, he hesitates slightly before they're interrupted by NMJ's success fighting the Jin cultivators (ch 107). After they've defeated NMJ, he treats JGY's wrist; moreover, "Seeing that Jin GuangYao almost passed out from the pain, Lan XiChen, who in the beginning wanted to use this to punish him, still didn’t have the heart to bear it," and goes for the pain-relief medicine from NHS. And this is all not even accounting for his reactions to JGY either during his questioning of JGY or post-stabbing!

And what about when he's distressed by JGY? When he's reacting with upset or anger? There seem to be two consistent threads: first, that JGY did awful things/hurt people /not/ under constraint, and second, the idea that he doesn't know JGY after all and their relationship was a lie.

For the first, he calls out Sect Leader Jin when JGY starts in on JC after JC calls him the son of a prostitute (ch 104), although notably he does not do the same in their earlier confrontation when JGY is distracting JC in order to defeat him, only warning JC (ch 101); when JGY confesses to having burned down the brothel, he's distressed when JGY says that it wasn't entirely to remove the traces (ch 105); he becomes /less/ angry about the second siege and about QS when it turns out that he was operating under constraint in those conditions (ch 106); and of course, the thing he's angriest about is JGY killing his father, "and even in such a way" (ch 106). In ch 103, looking down at the coffin he is shocked that JGY buried something that caused such horror to its surroundings, but without further information about JGY's reasons this does not metamorphose into anger.

For the second, when WWX him asks why there's no light shining from Shuoyue, he tells him "It's quite a shame," and that he "was fooled by lies" and had his cultivation sealed (ch 99); when JGY assures him that he'll let him and NHS go without harm when the time comes, he asks if he should believe him (ch 100); when JGY asks if LXC isn't going to ask him /why/ he set the fire (since it wasn't entirely to erace the traces), we have this important excerpt (ch 105):

“In the past, it was not that I did not know what you did, but that I believed you had your reasons behind doing them.”

He continued, “But, you have done too much. And I… no longer know if I should believe you.”

Fatigue and disappointment sunk heavily into his tone.

And then after JGY takes JL hostage (ch 106), this one:

Lan XiChen spoke slowly, “Sect Leader Jin, you lied again.”

Jin GuangYao, “Just this once. There’ll be no next time.”

Lan XiChen, “This was what you said last time. I can no longer tell which of your words are true.”

LXC asks him about the letter in the first place because "whenever he heard there might be hiddenmight hidden reasons, he just had to hear it" (ch 105); when WWX challenges him before he tends to JGY's wounds, he says "Many things still remain unanswered" (ch 108).

His upset at JGY "attacking" him is in ch 108, I think, a combination of the two—in CQL, it reads more like he's angry that JGY took an action that made him need to attack JGY than anything else, but in MDZS he experiences it as a real betrayal: "As he saw Nie HuaiSang’s expression along with the warning, he felt something in his heart go cold." Because it would have been one; it's a line that JGY hasn't crossed, and as it turns out it's a line that JGY hadn't crossed, and would never.

And lastly, after JGY's death, we have once again LXC's explicit statement of his difficulties—and while LXC's post-stabbing difficulties could be different from his pre-stabbing ones, it's at least an important consideration, and it is in line with the rest of what we see:

“… Just what does he want to do? I once thought I knew him well, and then I realized I did not. Before tonight, I thought I knew him well once more, but now I do not.” Nobody could give him an answer. Lan XiChen repeated in frustration, “Just what does he want to do?”

Looking over the evidence, he's hurt and angry that JGY would do awful things not under constraint, and about the idea that he doesn't know JGY after all/their relationship is a lie. I do think it's unlikely that he's zero percent upset about JGY contributing to NMJ's death—I tend to think they talked about if offscreen, between LXC leaving with him from Gusu and WWX finding them in the temple, and that's why LXC doesn't bring him up in the temple sequence. But whatever he's feeling, his reactions to JGY don't seem to be about his own personal grief for or relationship with NMJ, and if they /had/ been about that I think there's several moments in the temple that would have played out differently.

One last note: I see often the idea that LXC going into seclusion after JGY's death is for his grief about /both/ his sworn brothers. At this point, you're probably unsurprised to learn that I don't think the evidence supports this. Not only, again, do we have very little evidence of his personal grief for NMJ post-timeskip—ten years past NMJ's death!—even after NMJ shows up again, but there's a distinct change in him after JGY dies. Before that, he's obviously distressed, but he's still tracking and on top of things; afterwards, on the other hand, we're told that "If it were the usual ZeWu-Jun, he couldn’t have failed to fathom [what WWX was suggesting the letter be intended to cause]. But right now, it was likely he had no more space in his mind to think" (ch 109), which tracks pretty well with his absent-mindedness at the banquet a few months down the line (ch 116). Nothing about LWJ's discussion with WWX of LXC's state suggests it's at all precedented (ch 115), and in fact when LQR talks to him immediately after JGY dies, we're told that "Lan XiChen’s face was full of an unspeakable grief" and that "Lan QiRen had never seen Lan XiChen, a child he single-handedly brought up, look so agitated and discomposed" (ch 110). JGY's death is a breaking point; NMJ's death, at the time or now, simply is not.

In conclusion, while he was certainly friends with NMJ pre-Sunshot, and that is genuinely rare for LXC, they began to grow apart during Sunshot; and while LXC continued to care for NMJ, he was not at all intimate with him, and showed no sign of particularly enjoying or seeking out his company. Later, while he is certainly disturbed at the idea that JGY might have killed NMJ, this is because it suggests that he /doesn't/ know JGY after all, and his reactions to JGY then and at the temple are not driven by his personal grief for or relationship with NMJ, nor is his seclusion in any way related to his feelings for NMJ.

ETA: All quotes taken from the Exiled Rebels translation.

ETA: I discuss some critique of this by @/hqfeels here.

#ship negativity cw #ship meme #I'm done!!!#good fucking god this took me a month #that damn bingo post #long meta #profound philosophical differences #anger burned in his heart #the best of men #a gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs

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midnxghtsunwrites · 3 years

Text

LAID OFF

PAIRING —

Andy Barber x Black Reader

SUMMARY —

You get fired from your workplace of eleven years and Andy tries to comfort you.

WARNINGS —

Just good ol' fluff and angst, ignorant people doing ignorant things — yakwtfgo

It was midday when Andy received a text from you saying that you were on your way home from work. As far as he knows, your workday definitely does not end at twelve pm. Immediately, he called you and the conversation went as vague as he expected.

"Why are you going home, sweetheart? You okay?" He questions. You can't see him but you can tell that he has those crinkles in between his eyebrows that usually come with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do we have anything on our grocery list? I'm gonna stop by Walmart on the way home." He doesn't have a chance to answer before you cut him off, "Never mind, I'll just go to the house and grab it."

"Y/N —"

You hung up.

A day of shopping went by with you trying to take your mind off of what happened just hours before. Your boss of eleven years called you into his office, handed you a termination packet, a crappy explanation, and a company pen.

A pen.

"It has your name on it," He'd quipped.

As you now stand in your bathroom, twisting your hair into bantu knots, you wish you would've stabbed that motherfucker in the eye with that pen. You're absolutely taken aback by his audacity — it followed you throughout the day.

Even when your son came home from school and greeted you. You were in the kitchen at that point, aggressively stirring up some chicken soup — your comfort food. He gave you the weirdest look and retreated to his room.

During dinner (without Andy) you listened intently as your son recounted his day, trying to get your mind off of how much time you'd wasted in that company.

Now, you can hear the security system speak that the front door is open. Andy's home.

You try not to think about the packet you left on the bed — he has to know somehow and you don't want to say it out loud. Part of you feels he'll be disappointed in you.

When he enters the bathroom, the packet in hand and a thoughtful look on his face, you try not to let it faze you and get back to spraying leave in conditioner in your hair.

You can feel his stare burning into the side of your face.

You blink and meet his eye in the mirror, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"We have to talk about it." His voice is calmer than you thought it would be.

"No, Andy, we don't have to do anything — I, on the other hand, have to finish these bantu knots that I started way too late in the day. Should've done this tomorrow. Not like I have anything else to do —"

Andy scoffs, "Y/N, stop doing your hair for a minute and talk to me."

"What?" You question, beyond irritated, "What is there to possibly talk about? Huh? I wasn't good enough at my job and I lost it. There's not much else to it, Andy."

"Y/N —"

"No." You deadpan, slamming the bottle down on the granite counter top and turning to face your husband, "I gave eleven years of my life to that place. Just to get a letter of termination and a pen. A stupid pen? Is that what my life has come to? They could've had the decency to send me to fricking Jamaica or some shit — they're good for it."

Andy leans back against the wall and watches you as you rant.

"If I'm that replaceable, why the fuck didn't they just fire me ten years ago when they saw what a crap job I was doing?" You know you're a great employee but the rage is pouring off you in waves, "I was sacrificing my weekends with family to go to that bum place — for terrible fucking pay, mind you — and this is what they do? This is how they pay me back for wasting a decade of my life? I'm just so —" A frustrated groan finishes your statement.

"And I know you're disappointed in me. You're disappointed in the fact that I didn't work hard enough. I didn't fight hard enough. Well, fuck that. I'm fucking over it."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I'm over it." You reiterate.

Your husband knows you too well to think that you're over it. He counts down from five in his head.

Five..

Four..

Three..

Two..

One..

"Is it because I'm black?" You ask, suddenly.

Right on cue. Andy whistles lowly, proud of himself.

"Fucking hell," You scoff as if just realizing something, "I knew there was some shady shit when they took us to a damn plantation for a mixer and only asked me to bring food."

Your husband's head shoots up in surprise, "Wait, they did that? Why didn't you tell me?"

You shake your head, "I wasn't thinking too much of it. Plus, it was like six years ago — I was naive as hell."

Andy furrows his brows in thought, "What was the reason they gave for firing you?"

"My disruptive behavior. Apparently, they don't like when someone accidentally drops their stapler." Saying it out loud pissed you off even more.

"Those assholes." Andy comes to your defense, biting his bottom lip, irritated. Finally, he nods, "Okay. We'll sue for wrongful termination. I'll call someone in the morning so we can get this sorted out."

You pause for a moment, glad your husband is there to fight by you and defend you. A part of you is tempted to do just that — get a couple thousand from that hating ass job. But no, you don't even want to think about them anymore.

Begrudgingly, you shake your head, "Nah, baby, I just wanna wash my hands of them. I'll send out my resume in the morning and I'll probably take a couple more days to mope, but I don't wanna think about them anymore. Just the fact that I'm jobless."

"There's my girl," Andy jokes as he wraps his arms around you. Your hair is haphazard on your head seeing as you haven't finished the knots yet, but Andy doesn't care. He's obsessed with you either way. "And I'm not disappointed in you, Y/N. You're the best at what you do. Them letting you go is their loss and they'll definitely realize what they're missing out on when you're out there doing your own shit. We have enough in our savings to spare — you can start that restaurant you've been dreaming about."

"And you'll be my greeter when you're not putting criminals in jail?" You ask, sweetly, a bright smile growing on your face.

Andy pecks your glossed lips, "Wouldn't have it any other way." He taps your ass, "Now, how about I help you finish your hair, we can drink some hot cocoa, I can give you a massage. Plus, I can take tomorrow off, we can pull Y/S/N out of school and we can go on a hike to clear your mind."

You almost cry at how much Andy is willing to do for you.

"Ugh, how did I get so lucky?" You rest your hand on his chest, right where your name is tattooed and pull him down to kiss you.

He pulls away, slightly, his beautiful blue eyes lighting up with such joy and admiration, "I ask myself that everyday."

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silver-wields-a-pen · 5 years

Text

Illthdar High: An au fan fiction

Tuesday Afternoon

Nyima checked her watch as she hurried down the side-walk. She kept her head down, ignoring the occasional call out from passing creeps. A familiar voice made her glance up. Is that the janitor? She shuddered and pulled her long, dark hair over part of her face in an attempt to hide. She had roughly half an hour before she had to be at Vyxen’s, which gave her plenty of time to drop off the mail for her mom and then pop into the nearby GameStop to see if the new Final Fantasy game was in stock. Her mother didn't let her preorder it and the last time she’d checked they were all sold out. It was a soul crushing experience. She almost threw herself on the floor in a fit of misery. Only the thought of being looked at by everyone stopped her. If it's not here today, I really will scream. The lie made her giggle.

Ten minutes later and her letters were safely in the mailbox and a wall of games were in front of her. She bounced on her toes with excitement. It's here! It's here! I can play it! Yay! Tunnel vision got her across the store in record time, but not without gracelessly crashing into someone on the way. “I’m so sorry!” Panic swept her game-induced euphoria to the side. “I’m so, so sorry!” She repeated, crouching down to grab the game the other person dropped.

“Uh, um.. no. No, it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

The strangled voice was too familiar for Nyima not to realize who it belonged to. She froze and went cherry red. Oh my god, no no no way, not him! Anyone but him! Let me die! This was the worst thing that could happen and it took every ounce of bravery not to just drop the game and run out of the store.

She stayed frozen in place, fingers curled around the game box. She stared so hard at the pair of sneakers at the edge of her vision she could draw them with her eyes closed. The tension was so thick she thought she'd drown in it and she wished she could.

“You can’t drown in feelings, they’re not substantial. Same for evaporating, so stop thinking it.” She could hear Rae’s voice in her head, speaking too much logic for her liking. “Can't stay on the floor either. They'll close eventually.”

You're not my friend anymore. Mustering all the courage she could scrape together, Nyima stood up. She left her gaze on the floor until she forced herself to look up. Jingyi was wearing a gaming t-shirt and a Pokemon beanie. He looks so cute. “Hi, Jingyi,” she mumbled, her voice barely audible even to her own ears. He's so cute, he's super cute! Look at that cute smile and the way his hair looks perfectly messy and his eyes are so kind and warm and I RAN RIGHT INTO HIM! I'M SUCH A LOSER! She was so mortified she could die.

So could he. Jingyi was used to people running into him, so he didn't mind until he saw who it was. He thought he’d have a stroke when she mumbled apologies, so he kept a hand solidly on his inhaler in his pocket just in case. He took a deep breath, trying to commit the flowery scent of her shampoo to memory because he’d probably never be this close to her again. Or maybe he would. This was a good chance to talk to her. Richard told him to seize opportunities when they came his way and this was as good an opportunity as he would ever get. Yes! I’m going to talk to her. Decision made, he straightened up and smiled until his cheeks ached. “You play games?” He rolled his eyes at himself. Smooth move, dork. Of course she plays games. Why would she be in here if she didn’t?

“Yeah,” Nyima replied. Her voice was soft and her eyes darted around, looking at everything but him. Her face tinted pink and if he wasn’t already stupidly head over heels for her, he would be now. “You too?”

“Yeah,” he responded. Silence overtook them again.

“Oh! Here.” She pressed his game back into his hands and made to leave.

Fearing he was losing his first real chance to talk to his dream girl, Jingyi blurted out the first thing he could think of that wasn’t about how beautiful she was. “Have you ever played?” He gestured to the Mortal Kombat game in his hands.

“No.” Nyima stopped mid-stride and turned back to face him, keeping her eye line level with his chin. Her hands fiddled with the cuffs of her cardigan. “Is it good?”

“Yeah,” he said for the second time. He chuckled, awkward, and she looked up at him. They both smiled. “You should try it sometime. My favorite character is Sub Zero, he can control ice––”

“Like Shiva!” Nyima perked up a little. She held up the game box in her hands although it didn't have a picture of the character she meant on it. “Shiva from Final Fantasy, I mean. She's really cool.” She giggled like a nerd at her pun. “I couldn't be like that; I hate being cold.” She shut up when she realized she was rambling, wary of looking like a bigger idiot than she already had.

Jingyi laughed. She's so cute. “I don’t like the cold either,” he confessed, his formerly inexistent confidence sparked to life when the corners of her lips rose. “Shiva sounds like a cool character, no pun intended. Her and Sub Zero would probably make an awesome team. M-may––” he stuttered as his courage fled the shop. No, come back! I need you! Shit. “Erm, maybe if you want, we could, like, maybe play together sometime? You could show me Final Fantasy and I’ll show you Mortal Kombat?”

Nyima squeaked. It sounded like a date. She scuffed her shoe against the floor and tugged on her cardigan.

“Ok,” Jingyi said, deflating after guessing she was about to say no.

Nyima sucked in a breath and looked up at him. She opened her mouth and whispered, “Yes, please.”

Jingyi nodded, dejected. “I figured a girl as pretty as you would––” His brain caught up to her reply and he looked at her, incredulous. “Seriously?”

Nyima was tense and nervous as a rabbit seen by a lurcher. She jerked her head in a yes, clutched her game to her chest and ran towards the tills calling in a squeaky voice, “Text me!”

~*~*~

Zercey was so done with today’s practice and it just began. First, she had to deal with yelling at the JV squad members who showed up late. Their captain was still out sick and the assistant captain wasn’t even good at pretending to be mean. I mean, really, a good captain has to be good at both cheering and leading. This isn’t a Miss Congeniality contest. That mess dealt with, she had to focus on her own squad to make sure they had their routine down for the pep rally and game that weekend. They had a big week ahead of them, and if the last few practices were any indication, they’d be preparing until the last possible second. Today they were in the gym as their coaches decided it was best to separate them from the distraction that was the football team.

Zercey got in formation for the beginning of their halftime routine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, one, two... She counted along in her head as she lost herself in the sound of the groups' shoes squeaking on the floor in time to the music playing. She concentrated on making her movements precise, locked elbows, light feet. Left hurkie, toe touch… She knew her jumps were good and could see out of the corner of her eye that the rest of the squad was hitting the tempo as well. Round off, back handspring. She used the momentum at the end of her flip to propel herself higher up and back, hands above her head and legs tucked, so that her ending position was the setup for the first stunt. As one, her bases gave a slight pulse down and then she shot up, their arms extended fully overhead as she grabbed her leg with one hand and blew a kiss to the audience with the other. That was where she belonged: high above the crowd, center stage, with all eyes on her. Her confidence sufficiently boosted, she got into the groove, moving more from muscle memory than conscious effort. As she let her mind wander, she thought about Lerki. Damn that beautiful jerk! Why did he insist on messing with her and sending stupid mixed messages? He ignored her almost all day after his teasing in English class, and she found him flirting with every person with a B cup or bigger every time she saw him.

But, when she was leaving the gym after a late practice, there he was, waiting for her in the parking lot.

“Hey,” he said in that annoyingly sexy voice of his. She huffed and tried to walk by him, but he caught her wrist and spun her around. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Oh? I thought you might have been waiting on one of those bimbo underclassmen,” Zercey snapped, yanking her wrist out of Lerki’s grasp and walking away, nose in the air. If he thinks he can just flirt with anyone right in front of my face, and then come back as if nothing happened, he's got another thing coming.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Lerki cooed, catching up and snaking an arm around her waist. “Come on, sweetness, come hang out with me. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even drive you home.” He smiled suggestively and Zercey felt her resolve crumbling.

“Fine,” she agreed. And that was how she got an awesome new bracelet and lose an equally awesome bra in his car. It was a good night. She was still a little giddy when she walked into school this morning, remembering how warm his hands had been when he teasingly trailed his fingers along her thighs. That giddy feeling persisted all the way up until she saw him chatting up another freshman in the hallway. He was lucky she didn’t punch him right there and in front of everyone.

The music ended, and the squad walked over to their coach and choreographer. When she was in school, her team won Regionals three years in a row and Nationals twice. She was even more competitive than many of the girls on the team, and Zercey could tell by the thin line of her mouth that whatever notes she had for them, they wouldn't be good.

“We showcase this routine in four days and you all still don’t have the timing right,” she began, disapproval ringing in her voice. “The first tumbling pass is beyond sloppy. Curran, I only saw four back handsprings, what happened to the fifth? And do you care to tell me why your full became a tuck?” Zercey had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling at him right alongside her. Curran knew better than to switch up any of the flips this late in the game. At least he had the decency to hang his head and look sorry. She continued giving notes to the rest of the group, addressing Zercey last.

“Stay focused. Halfway through and your eyes look dead. I don’t care what else is happening around you. As a flyer, and as captain, there is no excuse for half-baked facials. Charm the crowd or else I’ll change the stunt groups.” Addressing the team at large she said, “I’ve seen enough of the dance, line up for the cheer.”

Dismissed, the squad walked back onto the floor, mentally preparing themselves for the hard work ahead of them.

Inwardly cursing Lerki for being the reason for getting reamed out, Zercey took a deep breath as she found her starting position.

~*~*~

“Are you going to go to the dance on Saturday?” Raemina asked all of a sudden. She was sitting on Vyxen’s bed, splitting her concentration between completing flashcards they would need for their study session and watching Vyxen agonize over where to put the book she’d just finished on the shelves.

“Probably not,” Vyxen responded offhanded, grey eyes scanning her shelves for the sixth time. This book was the fourth in a set, but it was a different color than all the others. It would bother her not to keep the set together, but it would also bother her to ruin the color system she had in place. “Do you think it would look weird if I bought a cover for it so the color would match all the others?”

“I don’t think anyone but you cares what your bookshelf looks like.” Rae tried not to be amused, but she’d never seen a teenager so bothered by book colors before. “You will give yourself grey hairs if you keep that up.”

“No one would notice.” Vyxen struck a pose and dramatically flipped her platinum colored hair over her shoulder mimicking a gesture she’d seen Scyanatha do in the hallway. She placed the book down on her desk, resolving to go ahead and buy the cover before she shelved it, so that way everything would be in order. She made to return to the bed to help with flashcards, one knee pressing into her floral mint and coral bedspread, when she heard someone flying up the stairs.

A second later Nyima busted into her room, out of breath and looking panicked. “I think I have a date with Jingyi,” she wheezed as she bent over to catch her breath.

“What!?” Raemina jumped off the bed so fast she tripped. She grabbed Nyima by the wrist and dragged her over to the bed, jaw dropping lower and lower as Nyima told them the story of what happened in the video game store. “Are you serious!? This is amazing!” She hugged her until Nyima said she couldn't breathe.

“You’re really going to go to his house?” Vyxen was less ecstatic than Rae, but only because her mind was preoccupied by all the things two teens could get up to at someone’s house and it was threatening to make her faint. “Are his parents going to be there?”

“Hopefully not!” Raemina was giddy with excitement and a little jealous. Mostly she was happy. Nyima was the first of the three of them to get a date; this was a huge deal! “Maybe you guys will make-out!” She pressed on, ignoring how both Nyima and Vyxen flustered at the suggestion. “Do you think he’ll ask you to the dance? We’ll all have to go then, it will be amazing. We could go dress shopping and––”

“How's Rhys doing?” Nyima asked Vyxen, desperate to change the subject. She bounced off the bed and away from Rae’s grasp to inspect the chubby black goldfish lazily swimming around the large tank Vyxen kept beside her desk. “Is he still sick? He looks like he’s doing better. I researched what could cause it, I think it might impress the interviewer when I apply for veterinarian school for me to know about fish. Few people would care about things like that.” She trailed a fingertip across the glass and watched in amusement as Rhys followed it.

“No one cares about the fish!” Raemina noticed the attempt to change the subject and she wasn’t having it.

“I care about the fish…” Vyxen grumbled, pouting when her fish followed Nyima’s hand. Rhys never did that for her.

“Ok, whatever, we all care about the fish and he’s fine. Guys! This is serious. We have to go to the dance now, we have to.” If she could get them to agree she could ask Rhovan to be her date! This was perfect!

Nyima and Vyxen shook their heads. “I don’t really want t––”

“Vyxen, you’re going,” Raemina informed her, refusing to even let her suggest that she wasn’t. “It’ll be great, come on! We can get cute dresses, Nyima can dance with Jingyi and we’ll get to see that awesome new DJ! It’ll be so much fun! And––” Rae tried to persuade, dancing across the room to Vyxen’s computer to bring up Youtube. “Touch,’ by Little Mix poured from the speakers “––we can all dance together! We’ll show the Barbie club that they’re not the only ones with moves.”

“I don’t want to show them anything,” Nyima muttered under her breath. She tried to avoid Scyanatha and her friends and she’d like to keep doing that until she graduated and never had to see them again.

“Come on! I know you two know the moves!” Rae rocked her hips all the way down to the ground and popped her tiny butt out to the best of her capability, sending a wink over her shoulder.

Vyxen and Nyima giggled, rolling their eyes but joining in. Rae was too stubborn to let them off easy. Soon the room was full of pop music, laughter, and dance moves no one would expect from three perpetually shy and nervous girls. Butts were dropping to the floor, thighs were spreading wide and hair was being flipped every which way. They’d watched the music video enough at sleep overs to be able to follow the moves fairly well.

They were on one of the best parts of the song, all with their hands in the air and their hips thrusting forward, when a wolf whistle followed by the sound of clapping and loud laughter from the doorway caused them all to freeze in place.

Salem leant in the doorway with an evil smirk on his face, and Date and Rhovan were right beside him.

“Salem!” Cheeks burning, Vyxen stormed over to the door, screaming, “Get the fuck out!” She slammed it in his laughing face.

~*~*~

“I’m quite disappointed in you two,” Principal Chiyoko tutted from behind her desk. “Not only is smoking very damaging to your health, but we strictly prohibit such behaviour on school property.” She shook her head as she talked, desperately searching for a way to connect with the two students in front of her, who seemed to ignore her good advice at every turn.

Rhoe grumbled, arms folded tight against her chest and legs splayed in front of her. Cowan sat beside her looking bored. They were used to Ms. Chiyoko’s lectures. They'd received one at least once a week since school started. She tried everything: appealing to their good natures, suggesting they join a club so they could take up new hobbies and make friends, even going so far as to halfheartedly threaten to pull their parents in for a meeting. Unfortunately, she found it difficult making her soft and light voice sound firm. It was a challenge to get people to take her seriously.

“I’m afraid that this puts me in a rather difficult position. I can let you off with a warning this time, but if this happens again, you must serve an in-school suspension.”

“What? That’s fucking bullshit! What kind of fucking joke is this shit?!” Rhoe let out a string of expletives.

Principal Chiyoko blinked, startled. “Now, young lady, I won’t have anyone speaking like that in my office.” She fixed the two with the sternest look she could muster. “For that outburst, young lady, I’m giving you both a detention! You’ve dragged your friend down with you, doesn’t that make you feel bad?”

“No,” Rhoe replied bluntly.

Cowan snickered beside her.

Mrs. Chiyoko looked devastated, shrinking into her too-big yellow suit jacket and mumbling for the two of them to see the assistant principal, Ms. Queline for their detention slips.

Queline shot the two a scathing look when they exited the office. They were there every day, but no matter how many times Cowan and Rhoe got in trouble, they still caused mischief. Delinquents, the both of them, Ms. Queline thought savagely. If it were up to her, detentions would be a much more serious matter. What kids these days needed was a strong hand, none of this mollycoddling parents liked to do with them. Kids needed to learn respect even if that meant the hard way. And they would use detention for something useful, like deep-cleaning the science labs; something where they worked with their hands and really thought about the consequences of their actions, not just another hour and a half of falling asleep and doing homework in a classroom. She sighed as she finished writing up their detention slips. “If I see you in here one more time before the end of the semester, you’ll be spending the entirety of your in-school suspension scraping gum off the desks and scrubbing this school from top to bottom, do you understand me?” She snapped, throwing the two slips of paper at them and ordering them to get out of her sight.

Detention used to be all in one room, but ever since someone found a used condom under a desk, Principal Chiyoko decided the best idea was to split it between two genders. So Rhoe stalked off to one room and Cowan walked into the other room, only to see Xyl and another underclassman whose name he didn’t know.

“What’re you in here for?” Cowan asked Xyl as he took the desk next to him. Better being stuck with someone he knew than spend the next ninety minutes in boredom.

“Got caught passing notes.” It was true. In class earlier that day, he had tried to slip Date a piece of paper for some new Khrome ideas, but the idiot wasn’t paying attention, so they stuck him in detention when they were supposed to be having band practice.

Cowan nodded sagely. “Yeah, that’ll happen.”

“What are you in for?” Xyl echoed, eager to keep the conversation going. It wasn’t often that he got to talk to Cowan without Rhoe there to scoff and roll her eyes at him while he did it.

“Your sister forgot to check the area before we lit up and Uwe busted us.”

Xyl nodded by way of agreement, but couldn’t think of anything else to say. He wasn’t really a people person, most of the time he just tried to stay out of the way and focus on things he enjoyed, like his band or… The band!

“Oh hey, are you going to the talent show on Friday?” he tried to phrase the question as casually as he could so that Cowan wouldn’t think he was trying too hard.

“Uhh… I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Oh.” They lapsed into silence once more.

“Are you?” Cowan finally said.

Xyl lost the thread. “Am I what?”

“Are you going to the talent show thing?”

“Oh, that.” He tried to act casual. “Yeah, my band will be playing there. It’ll be all right, I guess.” He linked his hands behind his head and tipped back in his seat, then overbalanced.

Cowan grabbed Xyl's chair to stop him toppling over. “Right, I forgot your sister said you had a band.”

Xyl cringed. He could only imagine what Rhoe had said about Khrome.

Cowan seemed to read his thoughts when he responded, “She seemed to think you all make more noise than you do music.”

“Well, actually we’re more punk than we are a noise band,” Xyl replied, not getting the joke. Cowan’s blank stare told Xyl he didn’t know what he was talking about. “Never mind,” he said lamely.

Mr. Bracken, who had the misfortune of supervising the boys’ detention today, finally looked up from his desk and reminded the students they should be doing homework and that there was no need to talk.

“Hey, I was planning to give Rhoe a ride home after this. If you wait with me, you can get a ride too,” Cowan whispered when Mr.Bracken’s attention became focused entirely on his book again.

“I’m actually heading to my friend’s house after this...” Xyl never wished he had a good reason to get out of band practice more. He might have done it anyway, but he’d never hear the end of it if he ditched practice with a show so close.

Cowan shrugged. “That’s cool. I can drop you off there too. Where does he live?”

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY?” Mr. Bracken’s voice rang out sharply in the quiet room and put an end to any further conversation.

“Remind me to never let you talk me into anything ever again,” Rhoe said to Cowan as the three of them emerged from their assigned classrooms. “Mr. Phanuel’s easily amused, and I had to spend the last ninety minutes listening to him and Miu go back and forth in a burping war. I have never been so close to killing someone in my life.” She stalked down the hall, radiating anger as she went and leaving the two boys to fall into step behind her. “And what the fuck are you doing here?” she growled when she noticed Xyl following.

“I offered to give him a ride,” Cowan answered, ignoring the exaggerated sigh that burst out of Rhoe's mouth. You would think Imogen, Rhoe and Xyl would be close considering they were triplets, but he’d never seen a set of siblings that disliked each other more.

“Whatever,” Rhoe snapped. “Just drop him off quick cause I don’t want to look at him.”

~*~*~

“WHOO! GO BABY!” Scyanatha's heels clacked as she jumped up and down and clapped when she saw Seth make a good move in the football game. She didn’t know or care much about sports, but she had bothered to learn enough about this game to know when her man was doing well so she could cheer him on properly. She clapped for a minute longer before dropping to sit beside Imogen on the bleachers.

The same set, interestingly enough, that Imogen made out under with Salem both yesterday and today. Luckily Scy didn’t know this, otherwise Imogen would no longer be sitting next to her if she did.

“Back to what we were talking about, you have to come shopping with us tomorrow Imo, I won’t take no for an answer. That new boutique I’ve been talking about for a month is finally open. Seth’s gonna buy the three of us any dress we want and if you’re worried about that stupid project for English, don’t be. Seth already has people lined up to write it for us.” Scy informed Imogen in a tone of voice that said Imo was going shopping tomorrow whether she liked it or not.

Imogen sighed as Scyanatha flicked open her mirror to reapply the lipstick that wore off when she ‘kissed Seth good luck’ for a full twenty minutes in the locker room before the game started. It’s not that she didn’t want to go shopping – she’d never turn down a chance to get free stuff from Seth – it’s that she planned to meet up with Salem. She’d spent the last month stealing moments with him. A full afternoon with no interruptions left her jittery and excited.

Scy snapped her mirror shut and turned to look at Imogen seriously and she knew then and there that she’d have no choice but to cancel on Salem. “Ok fine, you convinced me. I’ll ditch my study session and come shopping with you.”

“Fabulous.” Scy turned to her left where a pretty, but entirely brainless lackey sat. “Oh,” she said, as if just remembering the girl was there, “you can come too, dear. Seth can buy you a dress as long as you let me pick it.” The girl was basically a servant, but on occasion Scy treated her and a few other lessers to keep them in line. And since she bought their clothes she could guarantee none of them looked better than her.

“Of course!” Laura was quick to agree, vibrating with happiness she’d been acknowledged. She didn’t often get invited to the shopping trips the other three girls went on and so this was a big deal. “You can totes pick my dress Scy, you have such good fashion sense. I’ve never even owned or worn a dress, so I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Scy swept her gaze down to the pale yellow dress Laura had on. “Uh-huh.” She didn’t comment further, turning away from the airhead, planning to continue ignoring her until she needed something again.

Imogen snickered, unable to feel bad for the idiot. She opened her phone, sending a brief text to Salem to let him know that she wouldn’t make it to their not-a-date tomorrow. She then spent the rest of practice splitting her attention between finalizing plans for the homecoming dance and listening to Scyanatha talk about her new shoes and how she and Seth better end up as Homecoming King and Queen or else she was going to sue to school.

Laura nodded like a dog and chirped in agreement.

Practice ended an hour later and Zercey came strolling out of the gym in six inch heels, head held high with Lerki following close behind her, trying to talk to her.

Scy and Imogen rolled their eyes at the same time.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Imogen commented as she gathered up her bag. “Lerki is only flirting with people to make her jealous and it works every time.”

“Zercey needs to learn how to control her man. Oh hey, you guys should come spend the night at my house tomorrow. We can get our dresses after school and I’ll give you two a crash course in dealing with boys. It’ll be embarrassing if those two don’t go to the dance together.” Scy knew Zercey liked Lerki, and she wanted to help her friend, but she also had an aesthetic going. Zercey was the cheer captain, Lerki was the quarterback of the football team, they had to be together. Every movie said so, and Scy liked the look the two of them gave their group, so they better get their act together. “Oh, and you,” Scyanatha added to Imogen, making her way down the bleachers to meet Seth while Laura gathered her things for her. “You need a date for the dance. There are two hot football players that Seth says are single, pick one and I’ll make it happen.”

Imogen panicked. What sort of excuse could she come up with to get Scy off her back? She liked none of the football players that was true enough. Especially since they were all more concerned with beating the pulp out of other dudes than they were in having a conversation. But that wouldn’t be reason enough for Scyanatha. “I don’t know if that’ll work,” she said, trying to come up with a good justification for turning down her offer. “It’s just that I’m probably gonna be helping with the preparation and clean up, so a guy would just get in the way.”

Scyanatha pouted. “You’re no fun anymore.”

Seth saved Imogen by coming over and enveloping Scyanatha in a big, sweaty hug.

“Ew! Babe, don’t be gross!” she squealed, playfully slapping him on the arm. He smiled and kissed her.

Imogen was used to their excessive PDA, but was still thankful that Zercey finally caught up to their group in that moment. “Hey Zerce, how was practice?” Imogen was eager to have something to look at besides Scy and Seth sucking face.

“Great!” she said in that voice that meant she was lying, and probably for Lerki’s benefit if Imogen had to guess.

Lerki caught up, passing them all to walk backwards in front of Zercey. “Are you still mad at me? That hurts my feelings,” he appealed, trying to make her look at him.

She refused and instead turned her attention to Imogen. “What’s up with you? Are you coming shopping tomorrow?” Zercey shook her hand out of Lerki’s grasp when he tried to touch her but otherwise did not indicate she knew he was there.

“Yep,” Imogen affirmed, not looking forward to it but knowing she had to go all the same. Shopping for formal events was a nightmare with Scy because she wanted them to look a certain way and their opinions meant nothing. It was a free dress though, so she couldn’t complain too much. “What color dress are you going for?” she asked, though they both already knew that it didn’t matter and they’d get whatever color that made Scyanatha’s dress stand out.

“I don’t care about the color.” Zercey yanked open the door to Seth’s pristine silver Mercedes and tossed her bag in. She usually caught a ride with Lerki but clearly that wasn’t happening today, which meant that Laura would be forced to ride with him instead. “I just know my dress needs to be short and hot because I need a new boyfriend.” She slid into the car and slammed the door shut before Lerki had time to respond.

“If she puts a scratch on that door, you’re paying for it,” Seth informed Lerki, clapping him on the back before sliding into the driver’s seat with Scy, Imogen and Zercey and driving down the road.

This annoyed Lerki and he resigned himself to spending the rest of the night texting and sucking up to Zercey until she forgave him instead of doing something better like making her lose another bra. He slammed his own car door shut and drove off, moving much faster than what the speed limit advised and already thinking about what sort of present he would have to buy to make her talk to him again.

Poor Laura, meanwhile, stood forgotten in the parking lot. “It’s ok,” she chirped to no one, fishing around in her pocket for her cell phone. “I can find my own way home.”

~*~*~

Salem stumbled into his room and threw himself onto his deep red bedspread, laughing hysterically. He would never, ever, forget how red the nerdettes’ faces were when they realized their little show had an audience. He wished he’d had a camera to capture the moment. “That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.” He finally stopped laughing and crawled to sit on the edge of his bed while Date collapsed onto one end of an old black couch and Rhovan kicked the door shut before joining him there.

“I don’t know if you’re one to talk about ridiculous things when you’re carrying around a flask of Hawaiian Punch, wearing glittery makeup and claiming to be a child of the night,” Rhovan reminded him and cast a pointed look at the various vampire posters on the dark grey walls and the vampire novels lining the bookshelf to drive home his point.

“It’s an aesthetic,” Salem defended, “and the girls love it. That’s why I get panties thrown at me when we play shows.”

“I have never seen you get anything resembling underwear get thrown at you.” Date didn’t notice a lot of things, but he was sure he would have noticed that.

“You need to pay more attention then.” Salem ended the discussion there before they could call his bluff.

“Speaking of underwear…” Rhovan would never get the image of purple, lace panties out of his head now that he’d had a glimpse of them when Raemina’s plaid skirt hiked up during her dance. “Rae had nice ones, is she single?” He’d always thought she was kind of cute but he’d never paid much attention to her. She was a smarty-pants. He wasn’t. They lived in different worlds and all that jazz. He would have never thought she was the type to pull off ‘sexy’ and she’d just proved him wrong.

“Ew, please do not.” Salem pulled a disgusted face. He hadn’t seen or wanted to see any of the nerdettes’ underwear and couldn’t imagine why anyone would. “I do not need another one of you guys drooling over those brats.”

“Another?” Rhovan questioned, though his voice sounded far-away as if his thoughts were still down the hall and behind the door with a glittery green ‘V’ on it. He wondered if Rae had a date to the dance yet and if she’d consider going with him. He also wondered if all her underwear was lace, but he had to abandon that train of thought because it was sending all of his blood south.

“Yeah, this idiot,” Salem waved his hand towards Date with a scowl, “has been creeping on my sister for months. You know that song where he mentions a ‘moon haired muse’ GUESS WHO THAT IS?”

“I’m not creeping,” Date corrected, flicking his black hair out of his eyes. He didn’t deny the accusation that the girl in his song was Vyxen.

“Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to jam out on my bass when you’re singing about banging my sister?” Salem shuddered.

“Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to appear in public with you when you’re wearing fake vampire teeth?” Date challenged in his usual, bored tone of voice.

“IT’S. AN. AESTHETIC.” Salem slapped his knee to emphasise his point.

“Sure it is.”

The conversation amused Rhovan and he would have egged it on if they didn’t have bigger fish to fry. “Xyl is in detention, so we’re already losing time here, we need to focus if we’re going to get a set together for the talent show.”

Salem held his hands up and said, “I will play any song you want except ‘Ravage my Heart’ or any other song that mentions my sister. I’m not doing it. This is school and everyone will know who we’re talking about.” They probably wouldn’t know as Vyxen wasn’t popular or interesting, but Salem wasn’t going to take any chances. Imogen would be there, and he didn’t need her to think he was any weirder than she already did.

It was this scene that Xyl walked into when he finally arrived at the house. Rhovan and Salem were arguing about which songs to play and Date was in the middle, ignoring them both and scribbling furiously in his notebook. “What the heck is going on here?”

“You missed an awesome dance show.” Salem read the text from Imogen, eyes sweeping over her blunt cancelling of their plans tomorrow and recognized a chance to make himself feel better when he saw one. He said the words ‘dance party’ especially loudly so Vyxen and her friends would hear it.

“How did you get here so fast?” Rhovan asked, checking his watch to see that detention had ended barely fifteen minutes ago.

“My sister’s friend dropped me off.” Xyl dumped his bag on the floor and flopped onto Salem’s bed, trying and failing not to think about how nice Cowan had been and how much hotter he was up close.

“Oh yeah?” Salem tried to wrench his head around as casually as possible to look out the window, hoping to see a glimpse of Imogen in whatever friend’s car she’d came in.

“Yeah, he was nice. Rhoe was mad about it though, so I’m sure I’ll be hearing about that when I get home.” It wasn’t a conversation he was looking forward to. “Do you think I can crash over here tonight?”

“Sure.” Salem sighed in disappointment, turning his head away from the window when he realized that Xyl hadn’t been talking about the sister he was interested in.

“All right, now that everyone knows where everyone else will sleep, can we please talk about the set list? In case you somehow didn’t remember, we have a show in three days,” Rhovan practically shouted. It was days like these when he felt like he was the only one who took their band seriously.

“Hold that thought, I’m starving. Do you guys have money for pizza?” Xyl asked, prompting a great shuffling as everyone dug into their pockets to pull out their wallets and discussed what toppings to get.

Rhovan could have screamed.

~*~*~

Back home, in the safety of her own room, Nyima let out a deep breath to steady herself. She waited all of ten seconds after Vyxen slammed the door before she ran from the house after the humiliating episode with Salem and his friends. Today is so embarrassing! I should've stayed in bed! Her phone pinged with a text and she clutched her chest. Jingyi? Oh, poop. Why did I say text me?! WHY?! She inched her phone out of her pocket and sighed with relief when she saw it was just her friends group chat.

Glitteraffia: Sorry again about my dumbass bro. U ok?

Shiva fan 212: Yeah. It's okay. If I had a brother like that, I'd apologise all the time too.

Glitteraffia: LOL

Moon Princess: But, seriously, you guys, we should definitely get pretty dresses and go 2 the dance.

Glitteraffia: Rae, ur sitting 2 feet away.

Moon Princess: You keep ignoring me.

Moon Princess: Come on, Nyima. I bet Jingyi can dance.

Shiva fan 212: I can't.

Moon Princess: LIES! I saw you!

Shiva fan 212: Vyxen, get her.

Glitteraffia: Idkulik him and he likes u and it'd be cute af and pretty dresses.

Shiva fan 212: Traitor.

Shiva fan 212: Ok, fine. When things go Carrie it's your fault.

Glitteraffia: Carrie's awesome and they deserved it.

Glitteraffia: Scy would totally deserve it.

Moon Princess: She would.

Shiva fan 212: Lol ok.

Moon Princess: YES! VICTORY! After school 2moro!

Nyima put the phone down and sighed. She didn’t know why she agreed to it. She hated the mall; there was always too many people there, and crowds made her nervous. Maybe my mom will say no. She wasn't optimistic. Her mother was a free spirit. First Jingyi and then this? If she weren’t such a dedicated student, she’d consider skipping school tomorrow to avoid reality. The only redeeming part of the day was getting her new computer game, and she’d be breaking it open right now if she didn’t still have homework to do. Looking at the beautiful cover art beneath the plastic wrap, Nyima let out a sigh and then turned to her assignments, wondering somewhere between math and English if Jingyi was already playing his new game and maybe he’d tell her about it tomorrow.

By @guardians-of-las-vyxen & @yogiwithabook

#writeblr #illthdar fan fiction #au fan fiction #high school au

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