#things to do spring NYC 2023
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Museum of Failure in NYC
“Museum of Failure is a collection of failed products and services from around the world. The majority of all innovation projects fail and the museum showcases these failures to provide visitors a fascinating learning experience. Innovation and progress require an acceptance of failure. The museum aims to stimulate productive discussion about failure and inspire us to take meaningful risks.”
God, I love a fun museum. There’s absolutely nothing better. I went to the Museum of Failure when it opened a few weeks ago in Brooklyn and I can’t recommend it enough. The space it’s displayed in is a bit of a failure in itself (on purpose maybe?), but once you get past that it’s a great way to spend an hour. Some highlights below!
As soon as you enter, there’s the Share Your Failure wall that visitors can contribute to. Best ones I read: not getting divorced, not kissing him, not wearing sunscreen when I was young.
Above Photo: Share Your Failure wall at the Museum of Failure, NYC
Above Photo: If this doesn’t remind you of the Toronto Science Center in the mid 90s, I don’t know what to tell you
Okay, Orbitz was not actually a good drink, but it completely paved the way for bubble tea to take off.
Above Photo: Diet candy AYDS, 1937-1980s
“Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AYDS?" HOW WAS THIS REAL? And how on earth was it successful for decades?? This appetite-suppressant candy was successful with the help of Hollywood celebrities and its popularity peaked in the 1970s. Obviously when the AIDS epidemic emerged in the 1980s the weight-loss product was doomed.
Above Photo: Atari ET Game & Console, 1982-1983
This is basically known as the worst video game of all time and Atari reported a $536 million loss in 1983 because of it. There’s a great documentary about it called Atari: Game Over about the urban legend that unsold copies were buried.
Above Photo: Low blow, museum. Low blow.
Is it funny that there’s a Titanic reference? Absolutely. Horrid, but funny.
Above Photo: Pinky Gloves, 2021
Oh no, these came out in 2021. A male trio of German inventors created gloves to wear when taking out tampons so that women wouldn’t get blood on their hands and have a “discrete way to dispose of the used product.” WOW.
Above Photo: Little Miss No Name, 1965
Firstly, I apologize for introducing this image into your subconscious. I really am. The brand Hasbro designed this unusual doll to be an alternative to the hugely popular Barbie. “In keeping with the climate of the mid-sixties, they wanted to teach little girls compassion and the realities of life for homeless people.”
Above Photo: Trump SECTION at the Museum of Failure, NYC
There’s a whole Trump wing in the museum, which is just *chef’s kiss*.
Above Photo: Spray On Condom, 2006-2008
This German product was supposed to be the solution to the problem of condoms being either too small or too big. Its instructions: “Simply insert penis into an apparatus to coat with melted latex and then wait 3 minutes for the latex to dry.” It failed because the idea of inserting one's penis into the apparatus scared men and the three-minute hardening time proved too long to wait.
Above Photo: Shared Girlfriend, 2017
Developed by Chinese company Taqu Ltd., the Shared Girlfriend service rented sex dolls for $45 a day. They were made of high-quality silicon and dolls were ordered with a smartphone app then delivered to your door. “After each rental, the dolls were disinfected, and the more heavily used and damaged parts were replaced.” ICK. Amazingly, the service was suspended only four days after its launch due to public outrage.
There were so many other incredible pieces on display (grass skis, the hula chair, the Elon Musk wall), you really should make an afternoon of it and see for yourself. I showed a few videos of the exhibit over on my spring ‘23 highlights on Instagram, if you’re interested in seeing even more. Such a fun time. Tickets available over here.
Now I beg you, world: bring back Pepsi Blue.
#this is liz heather#Liz Heather#Pepsi Blue#museum of failure#Best of NYC#nyc#museum NYC#Best museum NYC#things to do spring NYC#things to do spring NYC 2023#NYC SPRING 2023#things to do NYC#museum of failure nyc
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⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ welcome ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
about me
you can call me juno or astraea
im a cancer sun, libra moon and sagittarius rising
my pronouns are they/she (and my pronoun page is here)
i'm a proud bisexual (i am very sapphic lol)
im taken (you can hear about my love via the “them tag <33")
i am a minor (i won't immediately block people 18+ but if you're creepy i will <3)
australian!! also a bunch of different places, none really interesting
this blog is for me to dump thoughts, interact with people and just have a good time :)
i play the drums and im currently in two bands! i also love playing guitar and one of my 2024 goals is to get better at playing!!
currently listening -> 🍁☕️🎸 nyc
currently reading -> the odyssey translated by emily wilson
currently watching -> doctor who and rewatching gilmore girls
things i like
i love: literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), fruit flavoured drinks, flared pants, converse, dark red, nail polish, eyeliner, burgundy lipgloss, tank tops, tote bags, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house (im there rn i love it), spring+winter, very specific shades of pink and green, black <3, folklore and 1989 girl, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, picking silly little outfits,
books: osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles
movies + tv shows: dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off, she ra
musicians/bands: boygenius, taylor swift, lovejoy, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrienne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones (getting into them just a little), maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy
my favourite colours are black, dark red, burgundy, denim blue, sage green, soft pink, glaucous blue, golden yellow (i love colour theory so all colours are beautiful in their own context but here are my favs to wear/see)
i really want to get into more poetry so if you have any recs lmk!!
i have recently begun practising some very simple witchcraft, so feel free to talk to me about that and i would love to learn more!!
i love learning about astrology and use my birth chart frequently
i write very, very infrequently and think of more stories than i even start to plot lmao.
i draw way more than i write and will occasionally post some!! its not good by any means but its fun ig
talk to me + dni
my asks and dms are open!! feel free to talk to me about anything and everything!! i love talking!!
i love my mutuals so much so if ur my mutual *looks you dead in your eyes* i love you
my discord is the same @ as here, i literally just got it today so idrk how it works but feel free to add me there <33 but please lmk if you do if your username is different
if we’re very close you can ask for my insta!!
i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive enough bio (with name, age group, pronouns) so if you want to be mutuals please have one!! if not just shoot me an ask about who you are and what you like so we can be friends <33
dni: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic people
tags
#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts
#asks -> asks ive answered
#ask bait -> hehehe send me asks <3
#tag games -> tag games ive participated in
#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals!
#spotify -> my music obsession dw im fine fhdklfhdal
#them tag <33 -> posts that remind me of my wonderful bf <3
links + sideblogs
spotify
pinterest
@likeasugarcubeinateacup -> my notes app poetry
@slowrotburiedinthepark -> a random sideblog i post art and occasional web weaving on
@stabbingstarsthroughmyback -> my writing sideblog (ask me about my wip!!)
stunning dividers by @chachachannah :))
here is a totally beautiful and amazing moodboard by @svnflowermoon that always makes me so fhadkfhakd
last updated: jan 19th 2024
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My Personal First Take On The Songs
If you want to know what runs thru my head on the first day of an album release, here you go. Don't hold it against me please.
A little hard on Matty at times, but the man is very flawed. Still love him, but seems he needs to continue to work on himself.
I only included things that I noticed that are not included in the few main people article.
This is also just some of me working things out in my head. Take it with a grain of salt. I work thru about 100 different interpretations of her songs before I settle on an interpretation.
Track 1: Fortnight
Nothing overly specific or notable. Potential connection to Matty showing up in NYC with Gabbriette in her backyard right after their break up.
Could also just be referencing the fact that he now lives mostly in the US it appears. Between LA and NYC most likely.
"I love you, but its ruining my life" could have also been something Matty said to her
Track 2: The Tortured Poets Dept
Honestly "Like a Tattooed Golden Retriever" is one of my favorite goofy lyrics on this album.
Context for non swifties: Her putting actual peoples names in a song is insanely rare. I can only recall a handful of times and its been years and years ago. Mentioning Lucy and Jack specifically is insane.
Track 3: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
"But you should have seen him when he first got me" All I can think of is Matty at most of the shows from his birthday 2023 till when they went public in Nashville. He was beaming almost every single night on stage. It was so fun to see.
Track 4: Down Bad
"Did you really beam me up. In a cloud of spring dust" Just to do experiments on me?" I am getting a mix of Matty's lab and kind of the Cava interview. Taylor maybe wondering if he she was just an experiment to him.
"I'll build you a fort on some planet. Where they can all understand it. How dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded". Reference to Matty's fort. Taylor saying she could figure out a way where they could have their love and his fort and she could make people understand. Him instead leaving her stranded to "save her".
Track 5: So Long, London
Truly a song for London referencing mostly Joe. After multiple English boyfriends that never worked, she is done with the city.
Track 6: But Daddy I Love Him
"They slammed the door on my whole world. The one thing I wanted" She was finally happy and professed that before playing Question?. She was the happiest she had ever been and everything made sense and she made it known. But instead of being happy for her, they slammed the door in her face and ruined it.
"I'm having his baby, No I'm not, but you should see your faces" A very funny line, thats a little unusual for her. Trying to make a funnier album then BFIAFL?
"We came back when the heat died down. Went to my parents and they came around".
Referring to when they tried to date in 2014/2015? And then coming back around in 2023?
Or referencing when we assume they broke up in early July- then the rumors they were still trying to work something out after that.
Track 7: Fresh Out the Slammer
Confirmation that Matty and T were something prior to her and Joe being completely finished.
"Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter". Winter of 2022?
"Camera Flashes, Welcome Bashes. Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge" - She was ready to go public and knew it would get negative attention. She was fine with burning it all down. Also a reference to the Lover House being burnt down during the Era's tour.
"Starting Line" reference
Track 8: Florida
Florida was the first Eras tour she did after her breakup with Joe was announced.
"And my friends all smell like weed or little babies" Such a good lyric. Typical late 20s, early 30s.
Track 9: Guilty as Sin
Backing track is almost identical to About You
"Downtown Lights" reference. Sent to her while she was still with Joe and "bored and caged". Around Jan/February 2023?
"I keep these longings locked, in lowercase inside a lock" - clue of some sort?
Track 10: Who's Afraid of Little Ole Me
To the press and the fans?
Track 11: I Can Fix Him
"They shake their heads saying god help her when I tell them he's my man" - funny line
Texas - Roadkill?
"His hands so calloused from his pistol, softly traces hearts on my face" Reference to his callouses from playing the guitar and his pistol being his songs?
Track 12: loml
Chicago secret song and her crying during "did I dodge a bullet or just lose the love of my life"
"Mr. Steal Your Girl" besides the pop culture reference, Matty's MO lately has been winning over taken women.
"You shit talked me under the table" ???? Who would this have been to?
*** addendum: he talked more shit then her. Like he could drink her under the table.... he shit talked her under the table*** THANK YOU
"I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all" - A reference back to Me and You Together Song and About You
Track 13: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
Chicago shows and beyond.
" I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday". Another funny line.
"I keep finding his things in drawers. Crucial evidence, I didn't imagine the whole thing" The Damn Beatles Shirt
"As the crowd was chanting More!" - as the crowd cheers for an overdose?
"Im so obsesses with him, but he avoids me like the plague" - The damn Beatles shirt.....
I do wonder if this is some sort of a slight to Matty for the fact that he does tend to be more emotional on stage, but especially after their breakup.....
Track 14: The Smallest Man
The sigh........
"They just ghosted you, now you know what it feels like" Oh Matty.....
When not in public with her he was stoned. Once he had her, he wasn't interested.
"Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years will all this be declassified?" Taylors confusion about if it was real or just a "bit". Flashback to Radio 1 and Matty confidently mentioning the possibility of it being a "bit". In his lab coat. Referencing back to her wondering if it was all an experiment.
"You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars" Matty's MO of finding random girls to date.
"You crashed my party and your rental car" Reference to him crashing his rental car in LA after returning from Malaysia. No idea why I find it so funny that she knew about this.
Is she referring to him crashing an actual party? Or just crashing her party of them getting a happy ever after?
"You said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by morning" Referencing that girls like Meredith, Ana and Charlotte were boring?
"You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing" - reference to the fact that no one can tell when he is performing or when he is being real. He's not on stage, but he's performing.
Track 15: The Alchemy
"The hospital was a drag" - The perceived psych hospital she was in after Matty?
"I haven't been around in so long, but I am making a comeback to where I below" Referencing dating an American again?
"He said its Heroin, but this time with an "e"" A wordplay used in multiple songs by emo/punk bands. ie: Boys Like Girls. Silverstein.
Track 16: Clara Bow:
Song mostly about Travis but layered with Matty/ 75 items
"Breath of fresh air thru the smoke rings" Travis verse Matty
"Stevie Nicks/ 75" "Half moonshine, a full eclipse" Reference back to Question? and "Half moon eyes/ big surprise"
"Beauty and the Beast"
"You look like Taylor Swift" "You've got edge she never did. The futures bright. Dazzling" Back to "The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now, because she's dead" and lead into Rep. Reference back to Bejeweled and "The Band"
The Black Dog:
The Black Dog - Bar in London
"When someone plays the Starting Line and you jump old. But she's too young to know this song, that was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming." "Old habits die screaming" Matty returned to dating girls decently younger than him, who wouldn't know his references. Reminded of him mentioning how hard it finds it to relate to Gen Z anymore.
More references to him "acting" in real life.
"And remember, how my rain-soaked body was shaking" Most likely Referencing after the Nashville rain show or the Gillette rain show.
"Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?" Back to radio 1 and Matty saying is it real or is it all a bit?
"Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes" Burning down the lover house? New part or Era's tour? New outfits?
The other obvious connections of Matty having Mayhem.... A Black dog....
imgonnagetyouback: --- all lowercase
I am going to get you back, and I am going to get you back for hurting me double meaning
Into is almost identical to Looking for Somebody to Love
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus:
"Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness, Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus and I just watched it happen". The fact Matty was out with all sorts of other people and she just watched
"And you saw my bones out with somebody new, who seemed like they would've bullied you in school and you just watched it happen" - The fact she was with Travis and he didn't do anything or say anything.
"I changed into goddesses, villains and fools. Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you. And you just watched it" - Taylor re-arranged her life for him. Broke all her own "rules" for him and he let her (all to ghost her in the end)
"If you want to tear my world apart, just say you've always wondered". When Matty and her re-connected he must have said he always wondered what they could be if they tried again, or something along those lines. Then he tore her world apart.
"And if you have some kids with an internet starlet, will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon" A throwback to Maroon being about Matty. A song she play over and over as her "secret song" for Era's.
"Will I always wonder" Because he ghosted and she never got closure.
Peter:
Throwback to Cardigan and the line "Peter losing Wendy"
"Lost to the Lost Boys chapter of your life. Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried". He never did grow up. She was tired of waiting.
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folklore lyrics and story: the 1
I can't even tell you how excited I am to dive into this iconic escapism album born of the early COVID lockdown days of depression, cat hair, endless TV, and maybe a little too much white wine.
the 1
youtube
I think Taylor is singing to a past version of herself in the 1. This version of herself was able to be openly out and about in NYC, going on dates with women she met on the internet (Karlie's tweet in 2013, anyone?) and maybe even decided to come out one day.
I imagine this as if Taylor was walking through her beautiful NYC neighborhood and saw someone who reminded her of her younger self, and this is the conversation she would have had with that version of herself if they had bumped into each other on the street.
In the song there is "me" (first person POV, this is the narrator) and "you" (someone else) and "we" (person one and person two).
The Taylor of Spring 2020 is "me," while the old Taylor who was allowed to live life in public with Karlie as besties back in the 1989 era is "you," and "we" is actually Taylor referring to her more comprehensive "self" - the amalgamation of all her past selves who led her to who she is today.
It's also important to look at the use of verb tenses in the song so we understand what happened when in this story. There's the present tense, talking about the here & now, and there is the past when "we" were still something.
I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit
Been saying "yes" instead of "no"
I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
(Please, dear reader, I need you to know that I fully wrote these first two lyric sections THREE TIMES before they finally saved. F u tumblr drafts!! moving on...)
Taylor is catching up with this other person who she ran into maybe unexpectedly. The chat presumably starts out with pleasantries, to which Taylor responds "I'm doing good I'm on some new shit, I've been saying yes instead of no." Taylor gives the surface level, instant response of "doing good" and then expands to give the other person more information. Taylor is on some "new shit" and she's been saying yes instead of no. This new shit is probably her acknowledgement of yet another reinvention and a New Taylor. If this person knows Taylor well, they'll understand that she is regularly deciding who the newest version of her will be, always on her new shit!
Taylor describes a big change between the old and new her, which is that she is now saying yes instead of no. I think that means Taylor isn't automatically responding to everything unexpected or questioning with "no," she's not on defense anymore and isn't jumping straight to denial, deflect, defuse. Now, she's saying "yes" and allowing herself to be more open, vulnerable, and honest in her truth. She's probably trying new things that were once uncomfortable or scary for the old Taylor.
Taylor tells the person she's speaking to that she thought she saw them out one day (maybe at The Bus Stop in the West Village) and was a little let down to realize it wasn't actually them. This means that the current interaction is likely a positive, pleasant encounter.
I hit the ground running each night
I hit the Sunday matinée
You know the greatest films of all time were never made
Taylor hits the ground running each night. I think this line refers to Alice Merton's song Hit the Ground Running, which is ABOUT MERTON STARTING HER OWN RECORD LABEL.
Today is August 15, 2023 and when Taylor Swift launches a fucking record label I want you all to know that I called it. Just for the record.
Also there is definitely more to dig into about Alice Melton, who has a ton of similarities and connections to Taylor Swift, but that's for another day. So Taylor updates this person about whatever it is she's working on professionally right now (karma is fucking real bitches).
Taylor also hits the Sunday Matinee. I think this refers to the candid photo collection published by Brooke Smith (aka Dr. Hahn on Grey's Anatomy) which illustrates the collective misfit nature of the punk rock community in the East Village in the 1980s. Specifically, this community thrived in THE BOWERY NEIGHBORHOOD. Brooke described the punk community as a bunch of disenfranchised kids who never really fit in and then found a welcoming family in punk.
So Taylor is also telling this person about how she's building her community and documenting it in photos right now. (Maybe flagging for the Long Pond Sessions? More Polaroid imagery?) I imagine her community members are Jack Antonoff, Aaron Dessner, Zoe Kravitz, Marcus Mumford, Bon Iver, and others in her music creating community throughout folkmore.
Next Taylor shares a knowing reflection with the other person, acknowledging a shared experience here. She says "you know, the greatest films of all time are never made," kind of in a "you know how it goes" kinda way. *shrugs*
I'm not sure exactly what she is referring to with the greatest films of all time line. Lina Naktine posits that the truly great films aren't made because of fear of profit loss. Great films take risks, and great film industry executives don't want to risk their bottom line to try something experimental or bold. So, even though incredible scripts are written and submitted for funding and development, they're never made. Following this thought process, Taylor is lamenting the fact that art and expression are limited by the oversight of big studios.
This line after the last two references of authentic, self-governing community in music and music rights, profits, and ownership in music labels hits really hard. Taylor is up to something big but she's playing it really casual as she catches up with this person.
I guess you never know, never know
And if you wanted me, you really should've showed
And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow
And it's alright now
Okay, so this is where we finally hear from the other person. They respond to Taylor, saying, "I guess you never know, and if you wanted me you really should've showed." The other person seems to disagree with Taylor's thoughts about the greatest films of all time never being made, they posit that they might eventually be made, you never know! This person goes on to acknowledge the elephant in the room: their history with Taylor.
Here's where my theory of who "you" is referring to is important. I think "you" is the version of Taylor from 1989 Girl Squad era of Taylor's life, if she had been able to keep that identity instead of reinventing herself for Reputation. So Taylor is talking to the carefree, single life that she lived in the early days of her NYC Lifestyle.
"And if you wanted me, you really should've showed." 1989 Taylor is acknowledging that present day Taylor wishes she hadn't lost 1989 Taylor's life, and 1989 Taylor tells her that if she really had wanted this life for herself, she should've showed her true (gay) colors back when she had the chance.
"And if you never bleed you're never gonna grow." 1989 Taylor criticizes Taylor here, pointing out her pattern of protecting herself from bleeding by cutting and running and reinventing herself anytime someone gets too close and feels potentially threatening.
"And it's alright now." I think this is as if 1989 Taylor has been living out & proud for the last 10 years and she's telling present day Taylor that everything she was afraid of happening turned out alright now.
But we were something, don't you think so?
Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would've been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one
(Ooh)
The POV changes again, Taylor of present day is speaking now! She's reflecting on the 1989 era of her life wistfully. Taylor reflects on those years of her life, her roaring 20s, the wishes she made tossing pennies in the pool. And she tells us that if the wishes she made in her best best friends era with Karlie had come true, she would've been 1989 era Taylor forever.
Taylor goes on to say, "in my defense, I have none" which means "in my defense, I am defenseless, I am vulnerable, I have no shield." And she is defenseless against "leaving well enough alone," implying that she messed with a perfectly good situation when it was well enough, and her interference is what caused the 1989 era to end.
She goes on to underscore her belief that it would've been fun to stay 1989 Taylor, dating the love of her life in plain sight under the sweet disguise of friendship.
I have this dream you're doing cool shit
Having adventures on your own
You meet some woman on the internet and take her home
We never painted by the numbers, baby
But we were making it count
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now
I guess you never know, never know
And it's another day waking up alone
Taylor of today is now talking about and to 1989 Taylor. Present day Taylor has a dream that the 1989 Tay is doing cool shit, having adventures on her own, maybe she'd even be on the online dating apps and meet some stranger woman and take her home! Taylor dreams of having the ability to be in a normal, low-key, low-stakes relationship at this stage in her life, compared to the complications and heartache that go with a seven year long love affair while stuck in the closet.
Taylor keeps talking about how she behaved back in the day. This is now the "we" of the song- Taylor of the present is calling herself "we" when she thinks back to what the 1989 era was like, because both she and this grown up 1989 Taylor were both there. She says that they never painted by the numbers, but they were making it count - I think this means that they broke the rules back then and did things differently than people expected them to, but she reflects that the unusual way she did things back in ~2014 worked for her then.
"You know the greatest loves of all time are over now." Taylor of today tells 1989 Taylor that the greatest love story of all time (Karlie & Taylor) is over now, which implies that this conversation happens during a Kaylor breakup. Taylor adds a little hope into the discussion, bringing 1989 Taylor's words back around - I guess you never know if the greatest love is over now, it could be alive still, or it may come back around.
"And it's another day waking up alone." Taylor updates 1989 Tay on the current state of her life - she's waking up alone, no lover beside her in her bed.
I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
If one thing had been different
Would everything be different today?
Taylor of today is thinking to herself now, trying to keep herself strong and not ask the question she desperately wants to know the answer to: if ONE thing had been different, would everything be different today? If she had made one different decision in her life, would everything else have changed for the better or worse? I think she's thinking about The 1975 Kissgate ~event~ of December 4, 2014, or something else related to stepping out publicly with Karlie back when things were much simpler.
We were something, don't you think so?
Rosé flowing with your chosen family
And it would've been sweet
If it could've been me
In my defense, I have none
For digging up the grave another time
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one
(Ooh)
Taylor ends up the conversation with her past self, again reflecting on the fun they had and lamenting the loss she feels when she thinks about this potential other life she could've lived. There was rosé flowing with her chosen family (gay!), and it would've been sweet if that version of herself could've stayed around as a long-term identity and persona.
She again states that she's defenseless against digging up the grave another time, which must be why she's alone now. But she can accept that things are different, daydream about what could've been, and eventually walk away from the one.
If you made it this far, THANK YOU!! I'd love to hear your feedback, your unhinged Taylor/Kaylor theories, and please send me any tie-ins you find that support or conflict with my analysis. Let's use those AP English Lit skills and be the DEAREST of readers.
XOXO, The Loudest Woman this town has ever seen
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Prithee tell us about your favorite visits to museums, firefly. It’s a long and silent January night and your stories will keep madness from us. (To be read in the voice of a Dickensian child of 6 years old, sitting before the hearth.) ☕️
hey hey!! :) my favorite seafaring vessel, a joy as always to meet u here. fret not, i will not let madness consume you! <3
(the context for the voice definitely helped, i most certainly did read it in the voice of a dickensian child. i can hear the crackle of the hearth as i pen these words!)
oh where to start! this is a bit of a brain dump, but is semi-chronological and images included in the order of discussion
first, summer of 2016, going to the hermitage and making puns about all of the art! they were not good puns. i believe my brother called the statue below a "boar"ing statue. it was quite hot since we went in summer and we were very surprised that the musuem had no ac since there is generally some to protect the art from the elements. so twas a very sticky and humor filled walk thru some art that has seen quite a lot (pic 1)
fall of 2018, went to the met's heavenly body's fashion exhibit with 2 friends from high school. i love & still go to musuem's w one of them, she's v sweet. the exhibit took place in the part of the museum that is older and looks like a church, so it was v prescient!! (pics 2-4, the leather jacket was so cool)
spring 2019, went to the met again (can u tell i went to college in nyc) and to the frick for my art history class to do a scavenger hunt for the class. quite honestly the most fun assignment ever. it was going through the museums and finding the art and writing about it. there were 50 or so things to find out. we went 3 times total for 3 sessions of the hunt. went w my dad for one, he has said he wants to do more even now
fall of 2019 i went to the met's instruments of rock n roll and saw instruments from a lot of famous musicians! i have a bunch of pics of them, but was v fun i went w my dad and got a bunch of music taste from him so that was cool. i was v amused by this many headed guitar hahaha (pic 5)
winter 2020 i went to a black tie gala in an art musuem so that was v fun & festive!!!
ok covid took a hit to this list so fall 2021! natural history musuem in london! went w my brother bc he was doing his masters same time as i was studying abroad there. i mean it's gorgeous. my brother is v interested in rocks so spent a while in the geology section! lots of cool rocks.
feb 2022, went to the met around my bday! my bf flew to visit me. saw very cool swords. pictured below!
summer 2022, went to the Louvre and the musee d'Orsay! saw the painting of dante and virgil in hell which was v cool, i have always loved that one.
for the sake of brevity, lets go to feb 2023, went to the whitney to see my fav artist edward hopper and an exhibit on him! went w the same friend as i went to the met in 2018 w. went w my brother too. fav exhibit ever probably, just bc i love hopper and i have included my fav painting by him, new york movie! my mom had a book on hopper growing up on our coffee table so always read it
oh my this is not brief. the fire is dwindling! ill stoke it.
this summer! the prado in madrid! i love goya so seeing his work was just so cool. they v sadly didnt allow photography in the museum but saw his black paintings the ones w saturn eating his children.
i hope my little tales help stave off the madness <33
#i just finished work & saw this & want u to kno i smiled#this took me so very long to write hahaha sorry i hope youre still awake#twas so fun!!#there r so many more museums too!!#i also wrote this to the country playlist u made me ty :')#ships tag
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10/04/23
I’ve decided I want to get faster at writing so I am going to blog a few days and try to make a practice of it. I worked on my writer resume tonight. It’s already 9pm. I am kind of tired. Listening to old school indie music. Still no job yet, since August 2022. It might be weird to go back to work. I’ll need to make sure I can wake up early. Read a little philosophy this afternoon. I should check the news in the NYT. I haven’t been paying close attention recently. I talked to a recruiter about a few jobs but they don’t pay great. In the first half of 2022 I started looking at work because I wanted to take the next step. Now I’m taking a step back perhaps. That’s what happens when you don’t work for over a year. I have had time for poetry though. That’s been good. I hope to finish some poems. Read some sad poems in the October issue of Poetry Magazine, but I think poetry is a great place for difficult topics. Reminds me to pray for others, and know someone somewhere is having a difficult time. You aren’t alone in this. I think it’s important to remember those who are suffering. You aren’t alone in this. I kind of want to look at art more. I want to read more too. I read some last night, the October issue of Poetry. The Decemberists are on the radio. I’m thinking about how to manage myself so that I don’t run myself out of energy. Sometimes you need to not use all your energy in one activity so you can focus elsewhere as well. I have a running goal to lose weight by the end of 2023. Send positive vibes. I want to look more like a runner. I pass quite a few runners in town driving around. Running is a big goal. Poetry is too, but I need to find a job so I can pay bills. I’m watching my diet again. I didn’t watch it last week really. It’s rough. I have trouble getting to the gym 7 day/wk. But maybe I just need to build the habit. It is incredibly important to my health. Where do I want my life to go? I want to be a senior engineer. Or I want enough money to buy a car and go to NYC every year. I want to pay off school debt. Yeah, the job is the money, but it can be fun or at least important. It is work. Somehow I want energy to write too. And read. So more writing and reading and less TV. I want to read more too. Having a job will take energy, but I don’t need to commit myself to 10hour days every day. I hope to get interviews for the jobs I applied to today. I also should apply to more. Maybe tomorrow I won’t sleep through the afternoon and be able to work on more submissions. I could stay up later tonight because I haven’t been able to fall asleep very well. I am watching my energy and mood and healthy habits this month. October has been difficult in the past. I don’t know if it’s from burn out at work or just an affect of the season. I have been pretty happy in Spring and Summer this year. I think I don’t like the sun setting soon. Maybe I will take a drive tomorrow and look at leaves. This blog is all over the place but it’s fine. I wish I didn’t have to be so careful about with things like mood and energy. I do need more daily focus on diet and exercise. I’m hoping to get to the gym 5 days this week. Both today and yesterday were good runs. Tomorrow I’m going for a speed work out. Twins won their wildcard game to progress in the playoffs. Watching the news now. But the gym is very important to me. I need to keep the habit building weekly and daily. I am excited about making progress with running. Longer durations and more mileage and hopefully higher speed. I will stretch tonight. I’ve been feeling sore today. I used a couple weight machines in addition to my treadmill workout. Not all the machines, I was not feeling the weights today. I have a few goals longer term, but I should think about shorter term goals. I did hit a distance target about a week ago. Maybe I should try to tack on half a mile to that distance. I need to think about what to do for easy run. I guess easy should just be easy, and push on the hard efforts, like speed work and long runs.
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QUEER MTL THINGS TO DO: May 2023
Goodbye April showers, hello May flowers! This month, Montréal is stuffed to the brim with events, parties and unique experiences painted in all the colours of the LGBTQ+ rainbow. From drag to community, circuit to underground, here’s some of our picks for the best LGBTQ+ things to do in the city. For further announcements, follow QueerMTL on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr! Got an event coming up? DM it our way!
EVENT OF THE MONTH:
😈 The Be!Zarre Ball: The Beastly Edition is the ballroom event of the spring, sure to haunt dreams and ignite imaginations as some of Montréal’s voguing community takes to the runway at Le National on May 13, 2023. Montréal’s ballroom scene—with a particularly strong showing in the Bizarre category—has grown from underground venues to some of the city’s top spots, and this is sure to become one of the communities’s top functions of the season, MC’d by Twysted Miyake-Mugler. Check the list of categories and get yourself ready to walk with pre-event workshop events including a Ballroom History Public Panel and a Hands On Workshop to make your own unforgettable kiki effect.
EVENTS
📚 Librairie Drawn & Quarterly’s Gay Reads Book Club will discuss Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield on Wednesday, May 3, 2023 at La Petite Librairie D+Q. No registration required.
✍️ HommeHomo brings Drink & Draw back to Bar Le Cocktail on Wednesday, May 3, 2023, featuring live models and drink specials.
🎤 Lizzo brings The Special Tour with special guests Latto to Centre Bell on Thursday, May 4, 2023.
🚀 Calling all sci-fi queers: Star Strip: Star Wars vs Star Trek takes over The Wiggle Room on Thursday, May 4, 2023. May the (naked) fourth be with you!
🎓 The History in the Making graduate students history conference returns for 2023, subtitled Whose History? / Who’s History? featuring keynote presentations from Montréal ballroom house mother Elle Barbara and artist August Klintberg on May 5-6, 2023 at Concordia University. Free tickets at Eventbrite for day 1 and day 2.
👠 The NYC Asian Burlesque Festival—The Montréal Edition is at Le National on Friday, May 5th, 2023.
🎶 A queer cabaret and rave celebrating Asian History Month, Slaysiatique takes over the Diving Bell Social Club on Saturday, May 6, 2023. Doors at 8, show at 9, dance at 11!
📚 The Violet Hour Book Club will meet and discuss To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers on Saturday, May 6, 2023 at Librairie Saga Bookstore.
🐦 Queer Birders presents a Bird Sound Tour at the Technoparc Oiseaux Bird Feeder on Saturday, May 6, 2023. Find further info and more of their events on Facebook.
🎤 The mind-blowing Yves Tumor is sure to surprise at MTelus on Sunday, May 7, 2023.
👠 The Cabaret Queer, featuring Bobépine, Debbie Lynch-White, Fabien L’Amour, Sugar Vixen, Carmen Sutra, Mad Rose and others, guarantees a full night of entertainment at Cabaret Mado on Thursday, May 11, 2023.
🎤 Get your beehive hairdo up for Miss Meow Productions’Amy Winehouse Burlesque on Saturday, May 13, 2023 at Café Cleopatra.
👩👩👦👦 The Coalition des familles LGBT+ (CFLGBT+) celebrates their 25th anniversary with the Vernissage Fierté et résilience : 25 and d’histoires de familles LGBTQ2S+ at the Maison de la culture Janine-Sutto on Saturday, May 13, 2023.
🎤 The amazing Yaeji performs at the Corona Theatre on Tuesday, May 16, 2023.
🎤 The lovely Feist performs at MTelus on Friday, May 19, 2023.
🎤 Fierté Montréal presents the free Soirée Cabaret Queer featuring performances and DJs on Friday, May 19, 2023 at Pavilion Bois-Papineau.
😆 A Very Pretentious Comedy Show #5, featuring queer and straight comedians and headlined by Dana Saleh, brings the laughs to The Diving Bell Social Club on Sunday, May 21, 2023.
💃 Featuring a full program of comedy, music, poetry and drag in Spanish, Un Micro Abierto is at Notre-Dame-Des-Quilles on Tuesday, May 23, 2023.
🎤 Dance the night away with Hot Chip (and special guest Cadence Weapon) at Corona Theatre on Tuesday, May 30, 2023.
🎾 Throughout the month, Tennis Lambda hosts LIGUE DE DIMANCHE outdoor tennis on the courts at Parc Louis-Riel. Check Eventbrite for full dates and details.
👠 Twice a month on every second Tuesday, Bring It! hosts an OTA night of ballroom and vogue with commentator and DJ. Follow their Instagram for dates and details.
🎤 Most Tuesdays, check out Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic at Impro Montréal, focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians.
🏒 Feminist hockey collective Hockey pour Poches meets every Thursday for games in Villeray’s Parc de Normanville.
🏃🏾Join the Out-Run run and workout club for people relating to the queer / sapphic experience. Details on their Instagram!
😆 Every Sunday, La Gailaxie improv league hits the stage at Cabaret Mado. Details and times here.
💃 Tango/Salsa Queer’s continue, with Salsa Queer on Monday nights from 20:30-21:30 and Tango (beginners/intermediate) on Tuesdays at 19:00-20:30. Contact [email protected] for prices and location.
PARTIES
🥳 FRKY is back for FRKY || SPRING with DJ sets from Moka, Plastik Patrik and Mario Galego at La Sala Rossa on Saturday, May 6, 2023.
🥳 Light up the dance floor with other lovers of flow art at Club Cosmic—Jam Party Lumineux III—Luminous Jam on Saturday, May 6, 2023.
🥳 Queen & Queer’s LGBTQ Women Party returns with a fundraiser for Interligne on Friday, May 12, 2023 at Fabrik8.
🥳 Love Dumpster, Montréal’s new queer rave and techno night, returns to Cabaret Berlin for its second edition on Saturday, May 13, 2023.
🥳 Cirque De Boudoir brings their Fantasyland Cyberpunk gala to Theatre Fairmount on Saturday, May 20, 2023. Come dressed in your cyberpunk best!
DRAG
👑 Gisèle Lullaby crowns the winner of MX Cabaret Mado 2023 on Wednesday, May 3, 2023.
👑 The legendary Mado Lamotte marks the 21st Anniversary of Cabaret Mado, a mainstay home of drag in Montréal’s Gay Village, with a special party on Thursday, May 4, 2023.
👑 The finale of the 2023 MX Cocktail will crown its winner at Bar Le Cocktail on Thursday, May 4, 2023.
👑 The House of Gahd brings the Lizzo Cabaret to Bar Le Cocktail on Saturday, May 6, 2023, featuring performances by Uma Gahd, Selma Gahd, Miss Dupré Latour, Anaconda LaSabrosa, Envy the Clown and Seyoncé in honour of Lizzo!
👑 Jimmy Moore brings his spot-on recreation of Québec’s pop princess with Jimmy Moore personnifie Céline Dion at Cabaret Mado on Saturday, May 6, 2023.
👑 Rock en Espagnol Draglesque, featuring Velma CandyAss, Salty Margarita, Black Mamba and others, is at Café Cléopatra on Friday, May 12, 2023.
👑 Miss Butterfly brings her one-woman show Out of the Cocoon—featuring 12 costume changes!—to Bar Le Cocktail on Saturday, May 13, 2023.
👑 Putting it simply, KINGS! at Cabaret Mado on Wednesday, May 17, 2023, gives the stage over to some of Montréal’s top drag king talent including Yannick Rockstor, Heaven Genderf*ck, Will Charmer and Clay Thorris.
👑 Sasha Baga hosts Sashalicious on Thursday, May 18, 2023 at Cabaret Mado, featuring Scarlett Paris Evans, Alice Wildflower and Will Charmer.
👑 Oops! Jimmy Moore does it again with Jimmy Moore personnifie Britney Spears at Cabaret Mado on Saturday, May 20, 2023.
👑 Commemorating 35 years in drag, Nana de Grèce hosts the Bal de la reine at Bar Le Cocktail on Sunday, May 21, 2023.
👑 America’s Current Reigning Drag Superstar Sasha Colby is sure to pack the house on Wednesday, May 24, 2023 at Cabaret Mado. Advance tickets strongly advised—a 2nd show has already been added!
👑 Practice your français at Excuse My French! 2 with La Big Bertha, Soa de Muse, Elips and Gisèle Lullaby on Wednesday, May 31, 2023 at Cabaret Mado.
👑 Every Tuesday, Canada’s Drag Race season 3 winner Gisèle Lullaby hosts Full Gisèle at Cabaret Mado. Tickets and schedule at Cabaret Mado’s website.
👑 Bar Le Cocktail’s regular weekly events include Butterfly de nuit with Miss Butterfly every Thursday, Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion on Fridays, Drôles de Drags with a rotating cast of queens on Saturdays and Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion on Sundays. Check listings for specific details, and pick up tickets here.
👑 Uma Gahd hosts weekly screenings of Drag Race All Stars Season 8 at Bar Le Cocktail on Friday nights starting Friday, May 12, 2023. Come early for a ticket and laugh along all season!
👑 Every Monday at the Diving Bell Social Club, Bambi Dextrous hosts Trivia Night! Be sure to book your team table in advance.
👑 On Friday and Saturday nights, the legendary Mado Lamotte hosts Mado Reçoit at her namesake club, Cabaret Mado. Each week, she shares the stage with a hand-picked roster of queens. Tickets and lineup info here.
👑 Sunday nights brings the amazing Tracy Trash’s Le Tracy Show to Cabaret Mado, preceded by Ligue d’impro Gailaxie at 7:30 PM. Grab combo tickets here.
QUEER MTL : à faire en mai 2023
Dites adieu à avril et ses journées grises; en mai, les fleurs sont de mises! Ce mois-ci encore, Montréal propose une foule d’événements, de soirées et d’expériences uniques qui font briller toutes les nuances de l’arc-en-ciel LGBTQ+. Entre prestations drag et activités communautaires, festivals bien en vue et événements underground, voici notre sélection des choses les plus gaies à faire dans la ville. Pour rester à l’affût de tout ajout, suivez QueerMTL sur Instagram, Twitter, Facebook et Tumblr! Vous présentez un événement? Écrivez-nous!
L'ÉVÉNEMENT DU MOIS
😈 Le Be!Zarre Ball: The Beastly Edition est LA soirée du printemps dans la communauté du ballroom. Grâce à son thème «bestial», l’événement promet de hanter vos rêves et de stimuler votre imaginaire, alors que la communauté du voguing se donne rendez-vous sur les passerelles au National, le 13 mai 2023. La scène ballroom de Montréal (bien représentée dans la catégorie Bizarre) a bien grandi, passant de salles underground à des lieux plus grands, et ce n’est pas près de s’essouffler. Twysted Miyake-Mugler est aux commandes de la soirée. Consultez la liste des catégories en vedette et parfaites vos connaissances grâce au panel (Ballroom History) et à l’atelier (Hands On) présentés avant la soirée afin de participer, vous aussi, au kiki!
ÉVÉNEMENTS
📚 Le club de lecture Gay Reads de la Librairie Drawn & Quarterly s’intéresse au bouquin Our Wives Under the Sea de Julia Armfield le mercredi 3 mai 2023 à La Petite Librairie D+Q. Aucune inscription nécessaire.
✍️ HommeHomo présente de nouveau Drink & Draw au bar Le Cocktail le mercredi 3 mai 2023. Modèle vivant et spéciaux sur les verres.
🎤 Lizzo amène sa Special Tour au Centre Bell le jeudi 4 mai 2023. Latto est son invitée spéciale.
🚀 Avis aux adeptes de science-fiction : la soirée Star Strip: Star Wars vs Star Trek prend d’assaut la Wiggle Room le jeudi 4 mai 2023. Que la force (burlesque) soit avec vous!
🎓 La conférence des finissant·es en histoire History in the Making revient avec comme thème Whose History? / Who’s History?. Au programme, les 5 et 6 mai 2023 à l’Université Concordia, des discours de la house mother du ballroom montréalais Elle Barbara et de l’artiste August Klintberg.
Billets gratuits sur Eventbrite pour les jour 1 et jour 2.
👠 L’édition montréalaise du festival NYC Asian Burlesque se déroule au National le vendredi 5 mai 2023.
🎶 Slaysiatique, un cabaret et rave queer qui célèbre le Mois du patrimoine asiatique, est présenté au Club Social Le Scaphandre le samedi 6 mai 2023. Les portes ouvrent à 20h; le spectacle débute à 21h et la soirée dansante, à 23h.
📚 Le club de lecture The Violet Hour se rassemble pour discuter du livre To Be Taught, If Fortunate de Becky Chambers le samedi 6 mai 2023 à la librairie Saga.
🐦 Queer Birders proposent la Bird Sound Tour aux mangeoires du Technoparc Oiseaux le samedi 6 mai 2023. Pour obtenir plus d’info et consulter les autres événements de l’organisme, rendez-vous sur Facebook.
🎤 Toujours épatant, Yves Tumor en mettra plein la vue au MTelus le dimanche 7 mai 2023.
👠 Le Cabaret Queer, mettant en vedette Bobépine, Debbie Lynch-White, Fabien L’Amour, Sugar Vixen, Carmen Sutra, Mad Rose et quelques autres, promet une soirée bien divertissante au Cabaret Mado le jeudi 11 mai 2023.
🎤 Ajustez votre coiffure pour la soirée Amy Winehouse Burlesque de Miss Meow Productions le samedi 13 mai 2023 au Café Cléopâtre.
👩👩👦👦 La Coalition des familles LGBT+ (CFLGBT+) célèbre son 25e anniversaire lors du Vernissage Fierté et résilience : 25 and d’histoires de familles LGBTQ2S+ à la Maison de la culture Janine-Sutto le samedi 13 mai 2023.
🎤 L’incomparable Yaeji se produit au Théâtre Corona le mardi 16 mai 2023.
🎤 La merveilleuse Feist est en spectacle au MTelus le vendredi 19 mai 2023.
🎤 Fierté Montréal présente la Soirée Cabaret Queer avec prestations et DJ le vendredi 19 mai 2023 au Pavillon du Bois-Papineau. Gratuit.
😆 A Very Pretentious Comedy Show #5, mettant en scène des humoristes queers et hétéros, y compris la tête d’affiche Dana Saleh, dilatera la rate du public du Club Social Le Scaphandre le dimanche 21 mai 2023.
💃 Un Micro Abierto, une soirée d’humour, de musique, de poésie et de drag en espagnol, se tient au Notre Dame des Quilles le mardi 23 mai 2023.
🎤 La soirée sera dansante grâce à Hot Chip, qui visite le Théâtre Corona le mardi 30 mai 2023. Invité spécial : Cadence Weapon.
🎾 Tout le mois, Tennis Lambda présente la LIGUE DE DIMANCHE, du tennis extérieur sur les courts du parc Louis-Riel. Consultez Eventbrite pour les dates et détails.
👠 Deux fois par mois, un mardi sur deux, Bring It! propose une soirée de ballroom et de voguing avec MC et DJ. Consultez la page Instagram pour les dates et détails.
🎤 Présentée presque tous les mardis, la soirée Stand Up Saint-Henri, à Impro Montréal, met l’accent sur les femmes, les personnes non binaires et queers ainsi que les allié·es de l’humour.
🏒 La ligue de hockey féministe Hockey pour Poches se rassemble tous les jeudis au parc de Normanville pour quelques parties.
🏃🏾 Joignez-vous au club de course et d’entraînement Out-Run pensé pour les personnes queers et saphiques. Détails sur Instagram!
😆 Tous les dimanches, la ligue d’improvisation La Gailaxie se produit au Cabaret Mado. Consultez les horaires et les détails ici.
💃 Tango et Salsa Queer se poursuivent : Salsa Queer est présenté les lundis de 20h30 à 21h30 et Tango Queer (personnes débutantes et intermédiaires) les mardis de 19h à 20h30. Écrivez à [email protected] pour les tarifs et les lieux.
DRAG
👑 Gisèle Lullaby couronne la lauréate du MX Cabaret Mado le mercredi 3 mai 2023.
👑 La légendaire Mado Lamotte souligne le 21e anniversaire du Cabaret Mado, repaire par excellence de la drag dans le Village, lors d’une soirée spéciale présentée le jeudi 4 mai 2023.
👑 La finale du MX Cocktail est tenue au bar Le Cocktail le jeudi 4 mai 2023.
👑 La House of Gahd présente le Cabaret Lizzo au bar Le Cocktail le samedi 6 mai 2023, mettant en vedette by Uma Gahd, Selma Gahd, Miss Dupré Latour, Anaconda LaSabrosa, Envy the Clown et Seyoncé!
👑 Jimmy Moore rend hommage à la reine de la pop québécoise lors de son spectacle Jimmy Moore personnifie Céline Dion. Au Cabaret Mado le samedi 6 mai 2023.
👑 Rock en espagnol draglesque, avec Velma CandyAss, Salty Margarita, Black Mamba et d’autres artistes, est présenté au Café Cléopâtre le vendredi 12 mai 2023.
👑 Miss Butterfly présente son one-woman show Out of the Cocoon (comprenant 12 changements de costumes!) au bar Le Cocktail le samedi 13 mai 2023.
👑 KINGS!, présenté au Cabaret Mado le mercredi 17 mai 2023, met en lumière le talent des drag-kings de Montréal. Au programme : Yannick Rockstor, Heaven Genderf*ck, Will Charmer et Clay Thorris.
👑 Sasha Baga anime Sashalicious le jeudi 18 mai 2023 au Cabaret Mado et accueille Scarlett Paris Evans, Alice Wildflower et Will Charmer.
👑 Oops! Jimmy Moore récidive avec Jimmy Moore personnifie Britney Spears. Au Cabaret Mado le samedi 20 mai 2023.
👑 Pour commémorer ses 35 ans de drag, Nana de Grèce présente le Bal de la reine au bar Le Cocktail le dimanche 21 mai 2023.
👑 La gagnante de la plus récente édition de Drag Race, Sasha Colby, mettra sans aucun doute le feu aux poudres du Cabaret Mado le mercredi 24 mai 2023. Réservation chaudement recommandée – un deuxième spectacle a déjà été ajouté.
👑 La France est en visite à Montréal. Excuse My French! 2, avec La Big Bertha, Soa de Muse, Elips et la reine québécoise Gisèle Lullaby, est présenté le mercredi 31 mai 2023 au Cabaret Mado.
👑 Tous les jeudis, la gagnante de la saison 3 de Canada’s Drag Race Gisèle Lullaby anime Full Gisèle au Cabaret Mado. Billets et horaires sur le site web du Cabaret.
👑 Parmi les événements hebdomadaires réguliers du bar Le Cocktail, notons Butterfly de nuit avec Miss Butterfly (les jeudis), Vendredi Fou avec Michel Dorion (les vendredis), Drôles de Drags avec des artistes différents chaque semaine (les samedis) et Dimanche Show avec Michel Dorion (les dimanches). Consultez les horaires et les détails, puis procurez-vous des billets ici.
👑 Uma Gahd anime chaque semaine les projections de la saison 8 de Drag Race All Stars au bar Le Cocktail. Les vendredis à partir du 12 mai 2023. Arrivez tôt afin de ne rien manquer de la saison!
👑 Chaque lundi, au Club Social Le Scaphandre, Bambi Dextrous anime la Trivia Night! Réservez une table pour votre équipe.
👑 Les vendredis et samedis, la légendaire Mado Lamotte anime Mado Reçoit au Cabaret Mado. Chaque semaine, elle partage la scène avec des artistes différents. Pour les billets et les détails, c’est ici.
👑 Les dimanches, la merveilleuse Tracy Trash anime son Tracy Show au Cabaret Mado après le match de la Ligue d’impro Gailaxie présenté à 19h30. Achetez vos billets pour les deux événements ici.
#montreal#queermtl#2slgbtq#thingstodo#mtlmoments#community#listings#drag#dragqueen#drag queen#drag king
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Cape-Watch Monthly Bulletin- March 2023
Hey, y’all! I’m your host, Christina Cabello, welcoming you to another Cape-Watch Monthly Bulletin! March brings the change from winter to spring, as well as many interesting stories about the world’s many superheroes!
Heart of Ice
Our first story of the month concerns the emergence of a new villain in the city of New York, an ice-wielding superhuman who has taken to calling himself ‘Freezing Point’. While hardly the first ice-themed super good or bad to emerge, Freezing Point has already distinguished himself by both his ambition and his brutality.
Freezing Point first came to national attention when he attacked a party involving many of NYC’s well-to-do, accompanied by a group of non-powered criminals in order to clear the whole venue of any valuables the group could find. Not long after their entrance, Capes Inc. USA members Kid Thor and Knockout arrived and intervened, quickly apprehending Freezing Point’s entourage. However, the villain himself proved to be more than the two of them could handle, and Freezing Point managed to make off with a large amount of stolen money and jewelry, the stolen goods estimated to have a total value of around $48,750. But much worse than the theft was the extreme harm done to the party’s attendees: several died as a result of being frozen solid, while many more were admitted to local hospitals with many horrific injuries, from lacerations and blunt force trauma to ice burns, frostbite and even late-stage hypothermia. Currently, Freezing Point is wanted on a multitude of charges included murder in the first and second degrees, attempted murder, armed robbery, assault with intent to kill, destruction of public property, assault on a police officer, resisting arrest and more. Already, a city-wide for the villain has begun, with the entirety of Capes Inc. USA leading the charge. The company has offered a $2000 reward for information leading to the arrest or capture of Freezing Point. Likewise, both the New York City Police Department and New York State Police have both offered similar rewards.
However, despite the intervention by the nearby superheroes, it seems that Freezing Point is far from done. The weather surrounding the island of Manhattan has seen sharp drops in both temperature and atmospheric pressure, which has triggered a winter storm the likes of which hasn’t been seen in New York since the January 2016 blizzard that swept across the nation. This storm has proven to be even more fierce, with some areas of the city reporting up to five feet (1.52m) of snow, which was accompanied by gale-force winds and temperatures receding below -13°F (-25°C). It seems that not only does Freezing Point seek to escape justice for his crimes, but that he also seeks to plunge the city into a winter of terror. Whatever comes next, let’s hope that Capes Inc. can handle it.
Klan of the Fiery Cross
Our next story comes from the rolling hills of Southwestern Kentucky, where a shocking turn of events involving the legendary superhero Frontline recently came to national attention.
According to eyewitness reports from residents and law enforcement officials of Fulton County, Kentucky, the Golden Age super was sighted waging his own personal war not on any costumed supervillains, but on an unfortunately familiar group of costumed criminals: the Klu Klux Klan. A local bar owner by the name of Michael Siegel explained the situation in detail:
‘There had been a small gaggle of those asswipes that made their way into my bar, calling myself and the other patrons all sorts of horrid things. When I refused to serve them and told them to get the hell out of my place, they started to get all sore and threatened to smash the place to bits. Then out of nowhere, Frontline storms in like a freight train, hollering at the punks, telling them to shove off before he throws them out. Now, they tried to reason with him, calling him ‘one of their heroes’, but all that did was piss him off. Next thing I know, one of these punks is sailing across the room and through the nearest wall. By the time Frontline was done, it looked like a bomb went off in the place.’
While certainly a surprising turn of events, it should be noted that this isn’t the first time that Frontline has come to blow with members of the KKK. The first of such recorded incidents occurred all the way back in the summer of 1946, where the super was apparently reported interrupting a cross-burning ritual and proceeding to, as the reports from the time state, ‘toss the group leader with such force that his body was later found on the outskirts of Fort Scott, Kansas’. The second time was during the 1970s, when he publicly collaborated with activist groups and undercover police officers to infiltrate the hate group and monitor their activities, which culminated in several members being indicted on domestic terrorism charges. In short, his hatred for white supremacy has never been in question, something he claims is from his background as a child of two immigrants, as well as growing up in a Black-majority farming community. Whatever the case, at least its good to know that the world’s strongest man has such a good track record for protecting the many minorities of America.
Invasion from Dimension R!
And finally, another invasion. But not aliens this time, rather evil robots from another universe. More specifically, evil versions of Robot from another universe. If that seems weird to you, you’re not alone.
But that’s just what happened this past week, as the city of Washington, DC was the target of such an extradimensional excursion. Hundreds of drones, similar to that of Robot but with a menacing black matte design, quite literally dropped from the sky in an attempted invasion of the United States, only to meet stiff resistance from members of the Guardians of the Globe. When the first wave was scrapped, however, the invading army simply brought out bigger robots, which managed to best the Guardians. Luckily, both Breakthrough and Capes Inc. USA arrived on the scene, relieving the other heroes.
The fight continued on from there for an incredible ten hours, with neither the heroes or the killer robots showing any signs of relenting. However, it seems that Guardians member Robot (our Robot, to be precise) managed to somehow activate some sort of kill switch, causing the mass shutdown of the hostile drones. While this did stem the tide, it also drew out the other Robot. Eyewitness accounts from medical and law enforcement personnel describe him as possessing a similar design to the one we all know and love, but bearing the same dark alloy exterior to the army he had sent through. Witnesses also described him as towering over many of the heroes that were present, looking more like an evil Iron Giant, and also being armed to the teeth with every weapon a person could imagine, from blades to laser guns and (once again, this feels unreal to write) an array of missiles built into his menacing battlesuit. Even when faced with three of the world’s superhero teams, he still held his own, injuring even the likes of The Immortal and Frontline, causing damage that not even hydrogen bombs or ballistic missiles could accomplish. In fact, it was only a daring last-minute attack by Magic Man that forced the evil Robot into retreating, taking his army of drones back with him. A government investigation into the circumstances behind the event is still underway, and I for one and going to be very interested to find out just what the hell happened.
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And that’s all for this month, folks! Once more, a big shout out to all of you to continue to support Cape-Watch with their donations, as they keep the heating on around here! And as always, this has been your host, Christina Cabello, reminding you to stay safe, stay hydrated, and to tune in next month for more of the biggest superhero stories around! And as for the April bulletin? Well, let’s just say you’d have to be a real fool not to check it out!
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Mayra Penaranda sits in a coffee shop in Seattle, Washington talking to me on a zoom call about the development of her photography and who she is as a creator. In her words she is above all, an artist. Born in Miami,Mayra began working in photography and mixed media at the age of 14. After graduating high school she would attend college in NYC where she spend the next 7 years experimenting and building upon her craft. Her next stop after college would be Seattle, Washington where she lives now.
Currently Mayra has been experimenting with the outdoors and nature. Overall Mayra describes her work as “experimental processes in photography and film.” She adds a range of elements that combine textures, collages, and movement as well as altering negatives or tampering with the photo using fire or liquids. Her photographs bring a sense of nostalgia for me. Like the feeling of being in love with somebody for the first time.
What was the first project that sparked everything?
“For my final project there I did this black and white long exposure photography series where I just took a bunch of self-portraits and I essentially asked my classmates to submit anonymous questions to me that I would answer and pair them with the images and I love the idea of taking a photograph and adding something else to it whether that’s text at the time or later like I do now more layered work. That was the first time I thought I could convey something deeper or communicate or process something or create something apart from just the photograph.”
Do you have any plants or pets?
“I have a 2 year old hound dog named Odin, who is just as weird and anxious as me. I’m proud to say I went from killing every plant I tried to own to owning several and even propagating plants, so there is hope out there for anyone else who is this way. We can grow and take care of living things! I hope to have many children some day and I hope they don’t think my art is cringe and like my cooking.”
Why do you do what you do?
“I do what I do because it’s the only way I’ve ever felt comfortable expressing myself. Art is almost kind of ironic and safe in a lot of ways, being direct is almost too much for me even though I find myself making art that’s pretty emotionally revealing, I love concealing it in layers of colors and film grain and flowers.”
What makes you happy?
I love purples, blues, purples, pinks, reds, and oranges when I’m happy and black and white when I’m sentimental
What scares you?
I’m scared of tsunamis and waking up very old one day with no home filled with food, love, art, kids, animals and laughter.
Any upcoming projects?
I’m currently working on a series of experimental film self portraits called, Floral Lovescapes II. I use different double exposure techniques and alter my film physically with liquid mixtures or an exacto knives to create different floral landscapes/“lovescapes” that I later rescan and wrap up in a psychedelic pink bow in Photoshop. This series is an homage to the Earth and documents my journey of reconnecting with myself and the world around me and I’m super excited to share it this upcoming Spring/Summer.
Mayra is excited to branch out to new communities with her photography. She will be featured in the RedRoom Gallery in Los Angeles, California. Join her January 6, 2023.
https://www.instagram.com/mayrarae/
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Upper East Side, NYC // (Jan. 2nd, 2023)
the countdown to the start of the semester is here and I am not “ready” yet but I will wrap up the to-do list today and then work on a new list for the semester.
we have heaps of January babies due to arrive but I am keeping steady and trusting myself. this is the second term I have been attending births with a full course load and I believe I can swing it again.
the exciting things for this term:
I start a new role at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
I will pick up my pieces that I created from my ceramics intensive and I have decided to try for the second intensive at the end of the semester, close to graduation so I can focus on my courses
I am exploring exciting opportunities abroad for the year end, as I intend to take time off after graduation!
I am also volunteering to my fullest extent this spring, I’ll be a busy bee but one with a full heart. I have decided this semester will be one of service and finding additional uses of the skill set I have.
I am *dramatic pause* FINALLY getting a pet. Now the logistics are hazy as I am timing this so said mystery pet is comfortable at home before we leave overseas for a few months but I am so excited.
I am continuing ballet, pilates, aerial hoop and cycling. My return to running is on the horizon but I won’t push this. My body is saying not yet so I imagine there’s a reason, usually seasons like this mean my body is strengthening for me to return to racing. I’ll be patient.
French is going well, there’s still more mastery to be hoped for but I am again continuing and hoping this is the year I reach my fluency goals.
Wish me luck! It feels like this is finally the year after the storm and I am so hopeful.
#personal#Studyblr#psych studyblr#psych student#psychology#psychblr#psychology student#light academia#light acadamia aesthetic#study like rory#academia#new york city#nyc#einstein#study blog#study inspo#uni life#winter study challenge#metropolitan museum of art#new semester#graduation#study challenge#studyinspo#french studyblr#learning french#langblr
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Thoughts now that I could watch Doctor Strange: MoM again.
Spoiler warning.
If it was established that Wanda had chosen a universe where the boys were orphaned, she would have the veneer of having good reasons and we would have gotten pay off of the "mom, help!" close of WandaVision. Maybe a war-torn universe that referenced the chaos mentioned by The One Who Remains from Loki, helping tie in/pay off some of that series in a small way.
I love that the staff from the London branch worked a tartan into their sorcerer robes.
I'm not sure when this falls in relation to Hawkeye and Spiderman NWH. Hawkeye was at Xmas 2024, Spiderman was May 2024(? That was immediately after FFH right? Was FFH still 2023?) because they're graduating, and this is what? Late summer, early fall? Jackets are worn throughout NYC but weather is good. But apples are still flowering so maybe spring 2025? Why are the suits staying away after the attack? Is it the same-ish time as Ms. Marvel so the suits are busy with her?
Was the red hellscape Stephen finds Wanda at the illusion or the orchard? If it was the orchard where did Wanda find a red hued hellscape with red atmosphere that skewed where the sun was? Is it the forest she was hiding in at the end of WandaVision and her study of the Darkhold did that?
Was the trapped Wanda in dream actually the possessed Wanda or a trap/illusion to catch Charles? The sudden appearance and disappearance could go either way.
Wong's robes until now have been his old robes. Did he usually still wear those? Otherwise, why was he wearing them throughout Shang Chi? How does the admin/advisor staff of Khamar Taj let the Sorcerer Supreme wander off to prize fight at an illegal underground club, can you imagine the scandal? If he is the boss, why is he fetching Shang Chi and Katy? And randomly wandering off for drunken karaoke.
Marvel needs to stop doing call backs. Developing what was established is fine, it's good. The insistence on making in-jokes and nudge nudge Easter eggs is now tedious. Carter didn't need the line, America didn't need to say the same thing Stephen had in the first movie, we already had a zombie ep in What If...? (For this matter, the Nat death scene callback in Hawkeye made sense for the characters involved, doing yet another callback for laughs in Ms. Marvel was unnecessary, if it's a reaction to SJ's lawsuit, grow up).
I like Charlize Theron. I don't need her in the MCU. Really, there wasn't someone else? It's like for every risk they take on an unknown in casting they feel the need to compensate with some name-draw superstar. It's the MCU, you don't need to worry about big names.
The closed captioning was aggravating. So much was just skipped and it's annoying. For a series that has now featured two deaf actresses the handling of things to be consumed by deaf and HoH is not good.
This is so distinctly a Sam Raimi film. The only thing missing was a cameo by his brother.
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April Activities 2023
Above Photo: Central Park, April 2023
Spring is in full force and I couldn’t be happier about it. It usually feels like the shortest season since summer arrives obnoxiously early, but this year it’s been magical. Chilly nights, sweaters instead of winter coats, tons of rain, birds chirping their asses off, there’s nothing better. Here’s what happened in April!
Above Photo: Baby Dog in Central Park
Above Photo: Baby Dog in Central Park, again
The best tweets of April can be found over here.
I visited a tulip farm in New Jersey and had the greatest meatballs from the Your Sister’s Balls food truck.
Above Photo: Holland Ridge Farms with Diana in New Jersey
I toured the gorgeous Kings Theatre in Brooklyn.
Above Photo: The lobby of Kings Theatre in Brooklyn, New York
Above Photo: Mirrors + me = BFF
I went to the Museum of Failure with my friend Casey in Industry City.
I helped review some Last Crumb cookies on my friend Paul’s TikTok.
I made one of my favourite steak recipes for the first time (steak Diane) and it was really, really good. I didn’t really ignite it properly since that’s the part that scares me the most, but there were partial flames so I’m counting this as a success.
Above Photo: Steak Diane ingredients
Notice: you’re using your potato peeler wrong.
The Alison Roman chocolate chip shortbread cookies are fast becoming a staple in our home.
Above Photo: Chocolate chip shortbread cookies
I physically cannot stop making this asparagus soup (the cream is optional), it’s so good. Best to double up the recipe if you’re making it for more than two people.
When will I learn that fancy coffee shops simply don’t do it for me? I went to Ten Thousand Coffee and it was fine, but definitely overrated. One day we’ll all revolt against coffee costing over $5 and I vow to lead the revolution.
Speaking of coffee, have I already mentioned the incredible hazelnut beans we order from San Francisco Bay Coffee? Best beans I’ve ever used for iced coffee at home, by far. All you need is a french press, a small spice grinder and beans. The fact that we’re not all making iced coffee at home each day is mind boggling.
Some things I watched:
Surviving R. Kelly (the newest season): Nathan and I watched two episodes and then abandoned it. It’s so hard to watch and really makes you wonder, “Why the hell am I watching this if it makes me feel this way?”
Dave (newest season): Words can’t express how much I love this show. Every episode is better than the last.
Succession: Okay, yes I already complained about this show. But the thing is - I haven’t hate-watched a new show in a really long time, so I think that’s why I keep going with it. The dialogue is objectively bad and I think the real appeal of the show is the fact that you can’t binge it all at once, we’re all so desperate for the days of cable and once-a-week viewing. And small side note: Adrian Brody is not a good actor, so of course he had to appear in an episode.
The Intern: What is wrong with me? Why was this on my list of movies to watch? It was so bad, but IT LOOKED BAD. Hated Anne Hathaway’s character. There was ZERO chemistry between her and De Niro. And it’s a mind-numbingly boring script. Christ.
Who Done It: The Clue Documentary: Okay, if you even kind of liked the movie Clue (1985), then you really have to watch this. It’s fan-made, but it’s so good. I didn’t know that so many playwrights attempted to write it, I had no idea that Carrie Fisher was supposed to be Miss Scarlett but couldn’t because of her drug problem?? Absolutely adored Jonathan Lynn. And loved all of Michael McKean’s anecdotes.
Above Photo: Who Done It: The Clue Documentary
How many beach blankets does one person need? And why is this Target one so damn perfect?
I’ve made so much green garlic butter, I’m considering starting a butter stand outside my building.
Above Photo: Green garlic from the Union Square Greenmarket, NYC
This month in good-but-nothing-special restaurants I’ve tried: Hawksmoor (flashy and beautiful inside, but no real substance) and Pete’s Tavern (space is great, food is fine and service was attentive but odd).
That being said, I also ate at some wonderful places! Saint George Bistro in Hastings had great escargot even if the service wasn’t great, Figlia in Astoria was as good as everyone says it is so I’ll definitely return, Sunken Harbor Club was beautiful and had great drinks and it felt like you weren’t in NYC but in a good way, Amelie Wine Bar was perfect and had $13 wine flights with stellar service, and finally Satis Bistro in Jersey City which was so lovely (the duck croquettes, my god, I’ll dream about those until I return).
Above Photo: Outside Saint George Bistro in Hastings, New York with Diana & Crystal
Above Photo: Amelie Wine Bar with Jessie, West Village
I got a facial at Glow Bar and I really don’t see the big deal with facials. This sounds psychotic, but maybe my face doesn’t… need… facials…?
My brother Gary sent me this Happy & Polly stamp of Baby Dog’s face and I can’t get over it. It’s horrifyingly perfect.
I went to a sample sale for Rent The Runway put on by 260 and it was depressing as hell, it was all so disorganized and chaotic. Think that might be the last sample sale for me.
I visited the exterior of Alder Manor since I was in the area and it’s so beautiful from the outside, I can’t imagine how gorgeous the interior must be.
Above Photo: Alder Manor in Yonkers, New York
Dying over the entire Adidas x Farm Rio collaboration (thanks Marla for telling me about it!).
Speaking of my friend Marla, she mentioned how she gives her young sons a small amount of money for birthday gifts for people in their lives and then each kid comes up with an idea based on what that person enjoys and buys the gift. And honestly, what a perfect idea. Gift giving is a skill and absolutely should be taught to young kids (especially boys) since it’s such an important part of living. Love this so, so much. Every parent should be doing this.
I am so in love with the rhubarb and strawberry soda from Trader Joe’s that I think I might finally be ready to try rhubarb for real.
Above Photo: Rhubarb and strawberry soda from Trader Joe’s
I’d never heard about the children’s book In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak but it was mentioned in that performance about Philip Glass I saw last month, so I bought the book and it’s incredible.
And finally, behold my new favourite photo of Baby Dog.
Above Photo: Hahahahah this expression! She’s so sick of my shit I love it.
Things I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to do a post about my recent visit to the abandoned City Hall subway station, I’m definitely going to go see the new fashion exhibit that opens at The Met, I know that H&M is shit now but I’m gonna have to take a look at this Mugler collab in person, I kinda need to eat these duck fries in Toronto and I absolutely need to track down these Lichtenstein stamps ASAP.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in March over here.
Above Photo: She brought her boyfriend (Walrus) beside her to get some sun
#Liz Heather#this is liz heather#Best of NYC#Best restaurant nyc#monthly post#monthly roundup#nyc#new york city#nyc recommendations#nyc spots#nyc spring#nyc spring 2023#nyc things to do#baby dog
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march 2, 2023
i talked to too many people yesterday, didn’t get a chance to write. which i did a lot of thinking, so that’s good too. i also started falling asleep at the gangway lmfao. but i think that just means i shouldn’t hit my pen after already taking an edible lmfao. its been so nice to have such a good routine with this schedule honestly, i feel like i am getting a lot of good, functional, time, where i am actually doing things that give me life.
i set up a contract on the bird over the summer! june 7th until august 16. so ill probably also go back to NYC for a while, because may is the busiest month for catering and it would be nice to get some shifts in there. especially during the spring, love the spring in new york. and if i go back for like two weeks i could actually have time to see people and all that. wow that would be SO FUN. and i won’t have to stress about any personal stuff, hopefully taylor will be there, and i could hopefully get a lot of reading done. although i say that all the time on the boat and it never actually happens lmfao.
i think adrienne and i will get to be roommates next week!!! it will be so so nice to hopefully be able to see her more often, and if miranda and i were roommates AND on the same shift? that would be i think overwhelming for me. and it might be kinda nice if sarah kinda pursues her, especially bc they have overlap with hooking up with grace. i know i probably need to have the conversation with miranda, because its not fair to her to not.
its funny also that miranda and i literally lived in the same neighborhood in NYC, where i thought i was going to like ‘self actualize and become the author i always dreamed of,’ and adrienne lives in san diego, next to LA, a place where i never thought i wanted to move bc it felt like the people there were so false and that it would be hard to make genuine connections. but that’s the problem i ended up having in NYC basically. in a different way i guess, those were all boring people, but still, it feels like the same sort of problem. i thought i would be able to connect with people in NYC better than in LA, and i haven’t lived in LA, but i do already have a lot a lot of friends out there, who could help me find those genuine connections. shit maybe i need to move out to LA and see what happens. bc also the tall ships run out of san diego tool, so i could do that for a min out there. and then i would have a place to live! and maybe i could get a scooter or something, MAYBE a motorcycle, but honestly probably not.
i feel the precipice of another big change on the horizon. spring to winter is such an invigorating time of year, its like all the seeds you didn’t know you planted are suddenly bursting out of the soil. i didn’t expect to be thinking about making a change so soon, i thought deck would have kept me occupied for longer. i mean, at least i know i can always fall back on it, ya know? also we have no idea what the future holds, i guess i just didn’t think i would be thinking about it this much. venture was a very present contract, it felt like i couldn’t be anywhere but there, couldn’t focus on anything or anyone else. i feel like i kind of got consumed in it. i wonder if i have a tendency to do that, i’m thinking i do. especially with people i really really care about. i can really just give up my whole self for someone i love. why is that i wonder? well fuck actually i know!
talking with the therapist i realized i still have a lot of actions/thought processes that point to having low self worth/esteem. and honestly that makes sense. i feel like sometimes i don’t have a strong sense of self, or maybe its a strong pride in myself. i just feel like i am willing to give up everything that makes me happy, for me, by myself - willing to give it up for connection. and i know connecting with people is the ultimate source of life for me but this seems more to come from how i think love inherently has to be about sacrifice, self sacrifice specifically. “your work in the new paradigm is to give up being selfless and altruistic all the time. focus on elevating your own soul, and watch it ripple effect without you needing to manage how.” i feel like that is exactly what i’m struggling with. and also i don’t have to be the one to carry everyone, i feel like that’s what i try to do but that’s not at all how it works. and meeting people at their level does not meet lowering yourself, sacrificing yourself.
maybe i need to remember that i am a person too, and connecting with myself is the same as connecting with other people. i usually go about it but connecting with other people helps me get back in touch with myself, but i could also work on trying to find my way back to myself by myself. it seems like i am trying to do that right now, and it feels like its working. it really doesn’t give me a lot of time for other people, but actually what tf am i saying? i have been hanging out with everyone i love here! the circle has gotten smaller, but honestly that is not a bad thing.
god i really do love my life though. i feel like the amount of love and care i have been giving myself this past week has really boosted my emotional well being and my sense of self. gosh i really need to remember this, need to hold on to this practice.
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Feb 12 2023
Hellooooo! Once again it has ben agesssssss
So currently, it’s the beginning of the Spring semester here at MIT. I just finished my first week of school (which was confusing as fuck) and right now it’s a Sunday and I’m sitting in a cafe at North End (took me foreverrrrr to get here, I had to take the T and walked for a mile). So I just want to recap what has been happening recently and just reflect on myself a little bit. Let’s start from winter break.
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NYC
Winter break started around 21 Dec 2022 and NTD came to visit me!!! I had a lot of fun and is super duper grateful that he came. We went to New York together for 4 days, I had issue with my shoe and my feet, but it was still a lot of fun! We stayed in a tiny hotel room together in Korean town, right next to the subway station, which was superrrr convenience. We visited Time Squares everyday cause NTD was obsesssssssed with it. I think experiencing NYC together allow me to learn more about him and I feel more closer to him than ever. We did fight almost everyday towards the end of the day cause both of us are tired af, but I do feel closer to him after each fight and love him more. Honestly, couldn’t think of a better travel buddy. With him it’s like traveling with a family, where you feel a sense of comfort and don’t have to worry too much about things, cause you know everything is going to be alright and he can take care of you. In addition, it also has that fun elements of traveling with a friend. Kinda like the best of both world. More importantly, he makes me coffee everyday in the morning!! (just like what my dad does for my mom and what Nate does for Kara)
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BOSTON
After coming back from NYC we spent a couple of days exploring boston. I went outdoor Ice skating for the first time. It was super fun and kinda romantic , but whenever I skate right next to NTD I have a lot of anxiety because I’m so worried that he’ll fall and hurt himself. We went to outlet, Newbury, Harvard and orders some food NTD has been craving (e.g. Brisket, papa john etc). And then we spent New Years Eves together. I vaguely remember us fighting or crying that night, but more importantly we had a very nice countdown right on the Charles River, where we watched the firework and had our first New Year Kiss!!
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Orlando + Cruise
The first day of January, we took the plane to Orlando (spirit, It delayed :) ) and spent our first night downtown, which was very dead. (P.s.This trip my MBAn friends, Grace, Nikita, and Chole also joined us.) This trip was fun but also a lot of mess cause I was super sick on the cruise and at Disneyland. I honestly do not know what it was, cause I didn’t test positive for Covid, but I had similar symptoms. NTD took really good care of me (I appreciate it very much) He would bring me food, make me coffee and wheeled me through Disneyland (haha yes, I was on a wheelchair) . We did a lot on the cruise, had nice dinner, watch movies, used the hot tubs, the pool, goes down the water slides, escape room (only ntd, I was too sicks), casino etc. We went to Cozumel, Mexico for the trip. My MBAn friends with Scuba diving, but I was too sick to do that, so we went on a submarine! Then when we came back to Orlando, we went to Disney World. The first day was hollywood studios, the second day is Magic Kingdom. I was one the wheel chair both of the days (ngam, thank you ntd! for wheeling me). Hollywood Studios rides were a lot more high tech, but the line was wayyyyyyy too long, we were only able to go on 4 rides, whereas we went to 16 for magic kingdom! When we came back to Boston, I was still sick I had to go to urgent care and they literally gave me a tube to clear my lung an help me breath lol.
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IAP with NTD
After coming back from the trip, I had IAP straightaway, which meant I had to go to class while NTD was still there. It was really nice coming back home to him. He spent 1 more week in Boston, before flying out on a Friday. I missed him sooooooo much when he left. I cried at the airport when I dropped him off and then cried myself to sleep as soon as I got home. Then when I woke up, I had to go straight to working on capstone video (had to get my shit together real quick haha) I think this is one of the reason why I didn’t want my parent to come drop me off, cause I just know it’s going to be much more harder to say goodbye when you’re not experiencing something new and you have gotten used to them being there with you.
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IAP - Capstone
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you're the best. can i ask you why are responses to queries sooo slow? im and MG author and it seems forever to get a response...I would think that coming out of a pandemic editors would be hungry for new material.
I'm going to be as calm as I possibly can be because I know this is probably a sincerely meant question, and you may be new, and you haven't seen the year+ worth of discourse about agents and editors and what is happening in the pandemic within the book industry (and that despite lots of people "coming out of a pandemic", for us, these things are still very much ongoing!). A brief Pandemic Publishing history, from my perspective:
March 2020. We realize that the "pandemic" is officially happening. The Bologna Book Fair is cancelled, travel is cancelled, everyone has to work from home, it's confusing, schools are closed, nobody has child-care. We expect this to last a couple of weeks.
April 2020. It does NOT last "a couple of weeks." Now just for background -- publishing is already an extremely slow process with a lot of lead time - like, we are currently selling/acquiring books for 2023/24 publication. So that means that when all this hit, there were lots of projects in the pipeline already, things that were in various stages of progress and were delayed in Spring/early Summer 2020. They were delayed at that time bc of the combined factors of: the pandemic shutting down everyone's office, not to mention schools, libraries and bookstores, which meant no place to SELL books -- PLUS there are layoffs -- PLUS there are printing/shipping/supply chain issues meaning problematic to make or ship books -- NOT TO MENTION, people getting sick and dying all over NYC, which is where most of US publishing is headquartered.
Early Summer 2020. Shaken, but rallying, all editors and the entirety of publishing are now getting used to working from home. There is a huge learning curve here -- publishing is very much a "face-to-face meetings" and "paper trail" kind of industry and *nothing* about the office life was really set up for remote work. (Most publishers didn't even used to allow DocuSign for contracts, we had to send multiple hard copies all over the country before the pandemic!) -- People learned how to work zoom, and did meetings virtually. They quickly realized that electronic contracts and payments are a blessing.
Now, there are still problems -- like, editors having to work from tiny flats with their children crawling all over them, and designers having to be at the kitchen table instead of, like, a whole studio with the proper lighting and every kind of material available, and contracts people having no files at their fingertips -- but hey, everyone is muddling through.
Of course - bookstores and the like are still closed, and there are still big supply chain issues - and that's a HUGE problem for the actual publication part. But on the agent/editor side, we are all working on future books, so that work simply has to continue, or there won't be any books two years from now!
Summer/Fall 2020. Everyone is absolutely scrambling like mad to do all the work that didn't get done in Spring. There is now a backlog of projects in the pipeline, but OK. Everyone is feeling quite literally traumatized by the things that have gone on, but OK. Some people are still recovering from having gotten sick themselves, or are mourning family lost to the disease. But OK.
This time is as busy as I have ever seen it, for everyone - pretty much a non-stop whirlwind of work. (Both because of the things that didn't get done before AND the fact that nobody can travel or do anything else!) -- There is also, to be honest, a lot of crying. We all desperately need a vacation, and it shows.
Winter 2020/2021. Now mind you -- Aside from that very very rough few months at the beginning, which was just a very confusing time -- books WERE coming out, and WE WERE ALL WORKING, selling, acquiring, creating new books. All of our authors were ALSO working and creating new books. MORE, in fact, because a lot of them were at home for the first time in a long time! But remember -- there's already a backlog, right? So, ALL of these new projects have been slowed/delayed both because of the pandemic, and the backlog of already existing projects, creating a larger backlog of existing projects. At this point we are running on fumes.
Spring/Summer 2021. We are slowly coming out of pandemic pandemonium in personal lives. People are getting vaccinated. It's great. Some people might actually get to go on vacation! Amazing! But it's not actually "normal" yet in publishing-world, because again, there's still that backlog, and everyone is STILL working from home, which is ok, but honestly, still makes things slower for a number of reasons, and look, everyone is just exhausted, okay? It's been a lot.
So anyway that's, in a ginormous nutshell, why you might find that editors and agents are not quite as "hungry" as you might want us to be coming out of a pandemic. IDK. We are just people, my friend.
ETA: I realized that this explainer was JUST pertaining to burnout because of what was happening IN-OFFICE. Combine ALL of this with what was happening in the real world -- like, for example, the horrific brutality against George Floyd and others, and the subsequent intense social justice rallying in Summer 2020 and beyond -- climate disasters, like California being ON FIRE -- a lot of *spicy drama* in the book world -- and A GINORMOUS FLIPPING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION... yeah omg. I think there could literally be a book about this, but I can't write it or read it tbh.
ETA x 2: (AND I didn't even touch on the fact that a huge problem for everyone I know was A LACK OF ABILITY TO READ during the worst of this! Which as you can imagine is a huge problem for somebody whose job involves READING BOOKS. I mean seriously there were MONTHS where I could not get through a single book, and I know for a fact I'm not alone. I'm JUST getting the ability back and I'm still scared.)
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