#this all happened after I had 5 hours of physics btw so I was already drained and I’m still drained

[sapphic-sprite]

my university has a clothing co-op where they keep gender affirming clothes, business clothes, athletic clothes, etc… before break I put in a request for a binder my size bc mine is over 5 years old and is very worn. I finally was able to go in and pick it up only to be deadnamed on the sticky note. I’ve been signing off exclusively with my nickname through our emails so it was,,, something.

#I’m not even mad I was just confused #he probs got it through my school email and assumed since my deadname and nickname are so close I still probs go by it #idk it was weird #the binder isn’t even that good #to be fair tho I have a big chest and small ribcage so most binders don’t do much #I just wanted to rant <3 #hope everyone else is having a good day #this all happened after I had 5 hours of physics btw so I was already drained and I’m still drained

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 5 - Die For You

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N:

So, I'm using narcos universe, but screwing up the timeline because we need plots and things for our couple. Nevertheless, just a warning for the accuracy of the series. Btw, I'd love to know about you're thinking about it so far! Your opinion is really important! Tks <3

**

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

After an investigation we did together with the CIA and the Mili Group, we finally had proof about La Catedral. 

Steve, Javier and I were discussing the possibilities and what Noonan would authorize. At the end, I knew what to do first: talk to Gaviria.

We were running against time and Escobar again...

"Yes, ambassador. I know it's risky... But I know we can screw that MF and try to bring Escobar to the US. I'll talk to Gaviria, let me handle it." 

Noonan sighed, I finally won.

"Don't disappoint me, Y/LN. You've done a hell of a job in NYC and have been doing it in Colombia. We trust you. You've got a backup plan?"

"Yes. Already on it, even with plan A working. We're not stopping until we get the motherfucker."

"Good luck, keep me posted."

I called Steve and Peña to my office. 

"I'm heading to Bogota. I need to talk to Gaviria in person about it all."

"I'm going with you, jefe." - Javier said.

"No need to. As a matter of fact, I need you both here... We need to be ready to all that'll happen to La Catedral. My gut is feeling really bad."

They both knew what it meant: bad things for sure. My gut were never wrong, unfortunately. Sometimes early, but never wrong.

*

When I tried to reach, none of them were available.

Something is off... I reached even for Connie and she lied to my face. I'm gonna chop someone's head off.

When I arrived back at the office, my head was spinning: 

An informant confirmed Moncada’s and Galeano's deaths a few days ago, meaning that Escobar was losing his senses.  Was that the La Catedral effect? What will be his next move? The Colombian media were, by the way, publicizing it badly. Noonan would fuck me and the rest of the DEA, probably, if she didn't got fired before that. I knew how the US thought about it. And, the cherry on top: Javier and Steve missing.

I was really fucking overwhelmed. 

A couple of hours later, while I was tracing possible steps for Escobar, trying to think like him, Steve showed up at my office. 

"Murphy, what the fuck? Where the fuck were you?"

At the same time, Javier barged in: "Y/LN, I've gotta talk to you, it's urgent! I think Steve..."

"Hey, man."

"Peña, close this fucking door now!" - I yelled, furious.

I turned on the TV.

"Watch it: it's a fucking disaster. The Colombian army is outside La Catedral, Sandoval just entered... Brace yourselves."

They looked at each other, in silence.

"Here's what I think and what I'm doing: I'm suspending both of you, for a week. Stay low. I know you both tipped the media. Major Wysession told me about what you asked him, Peña... Don't you ever do that again. When I arrived here, I told all of the DEA to be straight with me and I'd be straight with you... Don't go to Wysession or Noonan or anyone. Come to me. I'll handle it. And Murphy, let me guess, Cali? Co-operation proposal?"

Steve swallowed hard.

Javier turned his face away from me.

I poured a glass of whiskey for myself.

"You better hope that Noonan doesn't get me fired."

"Y/LN, yes. Cartel de Cali kidnapped me. They didn't like that we helped kill a few of them, but apparently there was someone innocent among them..."

His words faded away as the TV announced about Escobar's escape.

*

Narrator's POV

Escobar ran off again. 

Noonan got... A nice retirement.

You maintained your position, since Crosby knew and liked how you worked, but didn't stop you from hearing a bunch of shit.

You send Peña and Murphy to check La Catedral, but nothing worked.

"Here's the deal, niños. We're moving to CNP headquarters. Pinzón is such an ass, but I'm working on it. He hates our kind, but who doesn't in Colombia? He threw the tip line on my lap and I'm giving it to you."

"Telephone Operator? Really? Fuck me..." - Murphy complained.

Javier was... Distant. Weird in your eyes. You pretend not to care.

Something is off... - you thought.

Weeks passed since he last touched you, in that pool. A few casual happy hours, catching glimpses. Smirks. 

When you touched yourself, even without your vibrator, his image was right there: crystal clear in your mind.

You were almost giving up drinking your beloved whiskey and dear cigars... To be healthy? 

Fuck, no.

The whiskey's flavor and the cigar's scent remind you of his breath. You wanted to keep him far, but it was becoming unbearable.

"Be patient, you two. I'm not allowed to say much for now. At least pretend to do something. I'm working on our budget and relations with both governments."

After a few screw ups from the agents, as they captured Bush and became a joke, the days were appearing longer and harder. You were practically going insane to prove Crosby, the soon to be new ambassador, that your new, big and, overall, expensive plan was going to work.

You only needed a little luck...

Until it happened: the tip line handed to you three La Quica, one of Escobar's sicarios.

"Pinzón, I'll be a car and two men. Don't make me push further. We're just checking, we're not going to alarm'em." - you told him.

He sighed, made a joke about the fake calls... But said yes. 

As you all prepared to go, Murphy received a call from Connie and she told she was leaving Colombia.

"No, Con, please... Just listen!" - Steve was desperate.

"Murphy, go to the airport. You're not going with us. Go talk to your family, now!" - you spoked at him and he ran off.

"Let's go, boys. We all want La Quica." - I said.

*

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

"I swear, I don't know this one!" - Javier defended himself.

"I already told you, we don't care, Peña. But is this new? It's gotta be, as you don't know it..." - I joked, my heart was a little broken. 

The other cops laughed, as Peña rolled his eyes.

I didn't want to admit that his fame towards prostitutes and brothels made me jealous and a little resentful. 

He'd never know about how I felt nor my... Preference for a certain sextoy baptized after him.

"Stop by the payphone, back here." - I hid my gun and put on a cap, to match my jeans, sneakers and plain shirt. I could pass without no one noticing. - "Vamonos." (Let's go)

Me, Javier and one of the cops got out of the car, one by one.

But someone spotted us and told La Quica.

Out of the sudden, we're running around and, at the market, behaving as a predator hunting a prey. 

That place was so hot, so crowded... I couldn't see anything... Until he glanced before my eyes.

"Gotcha, pendejo." - I ran as fast as my legs could and a bit more. 

A fucking cross-fire started out of the blue and I had to hold a little.

Fuck! - I cursed alone.

I needed to think fast: we're just four and didn't know who to shoot.

Fuck it! I'm going after him! - I decided.

"Someone cover for me!" - I yelled and ran off again. I didn't have an answer before going.

*

Narrator's POV:

"Fuck! Where is she?" - Peña yelled.

When the shots stopped, they saw how the Colombians were frightened. They just wanted peace, not gringos and narcos shooting around.

"Where the fuck is my jefe?" - Javier asked again, screaming, to the other cops, seeing red, looking for you. The veins on his neck were bulging.

The backup arrived shortly with Pinzón.

"My men are looking for her, she went after one of the big fish. Some nerve the girl got, gotta say." - Pinzón mocked.

The other cops held Javier, asking for him to calm down.

Javier'd burn all the fuck down, until he finds you.

"Let me go. Not in the mood." - he said to the poor guy.

"Peña, look! It's her!" - He pointed out to you, a little bit hurt, your pink shirt torn and dirty.

Smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, you came out of nowhere, a little hurt, a few bruises starting to appear, your blouse dirty and torn up... But still looking pleased: a victorious agent.

Coming closer to Peña and Pinzón, you start:

"¡Mis amigos, mira que cosita más bonita tengo acá! I'd like to formally introduce you to this pendejo... Not La Quica this time, but we've got Luiz Rodriguez." (My friends, look what a beautiful thing I've got!)

"In my car I have a bag with 50 grand. If you give me one hour, I can make it ten times bigger." - he offered.

You burst out laughing at him.

"Oh, mi regalito..." (my little gift) - You had started, as one of Pinzón's men put on some handcuffs and you fondled his cheek. - "You're going to Disneyland. Don't worry, we're gonna take so much care of you, mi tesoro." (My treasure)

Javier knew you're mocking that sicario, but he still felt something awful on his chest, 'cause you're supposed to call him those sweet names, not that thug.

*

Arriving at the building, you and Javier went to the locker room, to change before going home. 

"Y/N, you scared the shit out of me. Luiz did all of these injuries? Or has anyone helped him? I swear, if there's someone else, I'll..." - he started, looking worried at you.

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

"No, Peña." - I interrupted him, as I searched for clothes in my locker. - "You're not doing anything. I can take care of myself."

Javier punched his locker hard as fuck.

"I thought I lost you! Don't ever do that again!" - he yelled.

I laughed, in a sarcastic tone, observing him. He seemed actually worried. 

"You know what, Peña? I don't care!" - I lifted my blouse, showing my huge scar on my ribs. - "Can you see it?" - his face shifted from pissed to desolated, as my eyes watered. He looked at another place. - "No! Don't turn! Take a nice long look at it! - My tone was so harsh. His eyes were so sad. - I always take care of myself! I've been alone in this world for as long as I remember, Peña. It's not my first fight on the field, it's not gonna be the last!"

His face was devastated... He felt sorry for me?

"Are you sorry for me, Peña? Oh, grow up! Why do you even care if I die or live? I know you hate me! And you know what? I fucking hate your guts as well!" - I screamed.

He remained silent. Why?

I started to change to a black shirt. I needed to leave.

I walked to the door, but when I noticed, he was behind me, holding it, not letting me leave.

"Y/N, cariño, I know you can take care of yourself, you've been doing that for a while now..." - he whispered in my ear. - "I heard you, by the way... Yes, I heard while you took care of yourself almost every night."

I swallowed hard, thinking:

Oh fuck, he heard me... Oh no...

"However, you called out my name, didn’t  you?" - he continued.

I leaned on the door pressing my back against it, turning to face him as Javier got on his knees and looked at my with those puppy brown eyes and said:

"Let me make your fantasy come true, cariño... Let me be your good boy, your obedient soldier."

His hands started to take off my boots and socks, one by one.

After that, he unbuttoned my jeans and slowly, so slowly, put it down to my feet, throwing it somewhere...

There I was, only in underwear and a shirt, my skin felt hot. 

His eyes never left mine.

I took off my shirt and bra and, lastly, his hands took off my red panties, at a slow pace, as if he was trying not to scare me off.

There I was, naked in front of Javier. 

He seemed to be thinking on what to do first, until he said:

"Tell me what you want, cariño. Let me be your good boy."

I just nodded positively.

"Words, please. Use your big beautiful mouth, cariño."

"Y-y-yes, Javi... Put your lips on me, show me how good you are..." - my voice barely came out.

He smiled, picked up one of my legs over his shoulder exposing me. His lips met my folds, oh so soft, so delicate... My hand grabbed his hair, pulling closer. 

He explored me, without any rush, as if he wanted to last as long as possible... Teasing my hole, opening me up with the tip of his tongue, fucking me. My clit throbbed, as my pussy clenched around his tongue.

I bit my lips, trying to stay quiet, my eyes closed. I couldn't look down, I was almost ashamed.

"Mmm..." - I sobbed, pulling his hair harder.

He slipped two fingers in me, and taking his mouth off me, said:

"Look at me, cariño, open your beautiful eyes while I make you feel good. Am I doing, at least, a nice job?" - he smirks, knowing he was. I opened my eyes, looking down, probably blushing. No one ever made me look as I was being eaten out. - "A little reassurance won't kill you."

"Y-y-yeah, Peña..." - I managed to say.

Oh, fuck.

His thumb met my clit, putting a gentle pressure as his middle and index fingers touched my g-spot.

"You can do better than that, cariño..." - he grinned, asking for more. - "You wet half of my face, Hermosa, you can call me Javi again."

"¡Hijo de puta!" - I cursed. - "Make me come on your lips, for God's sake... Be my good boy, Peña." - I asked.

He smiled and got back to suck my clitoris, making me shake under his touch. 

I came so hard, dripping all over Javier, calling out his name.

He took off one finger, slowing his pace. A very satisfied "hum" came out of him.

"You taste like heaven... You were such a good girl for me, cariño... But I'm greedy, you know? I want more from you and your sweet little pussy." - he smiled. - "I wanna see you beggin'... I'm not stopping now."

I was still burning from my first orgasm. 

Javier Jesus Peña was trying to kill me, for sure.

My hand traveled from his hair to his cheek, caressing him. 

"Javi... I'm only gonna say this once: do what you want with me. Do what you want to my body. I'm yours for tonight."

His finger left me, leaving me empty. 

Oh, fuck.

He stood up, looking deep in my eyes.

"My place or yours?" - he questioned. 

"Yours." - I responded, barely breathing.

He picked up my clothes, helped me get dressed and we went to his place.

Next

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javi pena #javier pena smut #javier pena x you #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #peña #pedro pascal fandom #narcos fic #narcos fanfiction #fanfic #javier peña #javi peña #romance #smut #female reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro boys #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #fanfiction #fic #pedro stories

[beneaththegildedmoon]

*BIIIG fuckin rant hours btw (esp. in the tags) so I guess scroll on if you're not down for that. Might delete later but I need to vent*

So I identify as nonbinary and gender queer (though not really trans, doesn't ring true for me personally) and tbh I'm very sick of the Online Queers talking shit about enbies whose partners identify as straight or gay/lesbian rather than bi for "settling for someone who doesn't respect" us.

My partner loves me more than I ever thought humanly possible and respects me possibly even more than he loves me. He also happens to identify as a straight man. When we met, 6 years ago, I still identified fully as a cis woman, and he viewed me as such. About a year ago, I came out to myself and to him, and tbh he doesn't fully "get" all of it because he's literally never had to question anything about his identity in his life up till now, but he tries his best and has never once made me feel like he doesn't see me for the person I've come to realise I am. He is also, obviously, still attracted to me and still loves me just as much, despite our outwardly incompatible clusters of labels.

Maybe the relationship wouldn't have held up if I decided to present significantly more masc or had any inclination to physically transition, etc. but I really don't. Maybe if I'd come out much earlier in the relationship, we would have amicably gone our separate ways. Maybe not. We'll never know because after 5+ years into a serious relationship, you dont really see your partner through the lens of social constructs like gender. You just see them as your person. So there was never really a question for us of how my nonbinariness would or wouldn't affect things. It just didn't factor into it.

If we weren't already together, my partner would likely only approach women. He has only dated women in the past, and apparently never really thought about other options. I am the solitary exception to an extremely strong trend. I'm not insecure enough in my identity to demand he change his whole concept of his sexuality and identity to fit the specific edge case I represent into it. In much the same way that I wouldn't demand a lesbian suddenly identify as bi just because they were attracted to me. Other people's perceptions of my gender, and the interaction their stated sexuality has with that is their business. As long as my partner can reconcile the two in his own head, that's good enough for me.

Identity, and especially queer identities, are so much more nuanced and complicated than a single word can fully capture. It's unreasonable and frankly patronising to assume you know the intricacies of someone else's relationship dynamics based solely on those words. It's also condescending as fuck to tell me my partner doesn't respect my queerness just because he's straight when you don't actually know either of us and I'd thank y'all to butt the fuck out.

#rant #enby #nonbinary identity is complicated #and im really fucking sick of this shit #we're all just out here living our lives #why do some of y'all feel the need to insert yourself into other people's business like that #he's seen all this shit online and got really worried i felt disrespected by him identifying as straight #this man straight up broke down crying when he brought it up bc he was so scared it would hurt me #he told me he understood if i felt like i had to leave and he never wanted to hold me back from who i am but that he still loves me #all bc you idiots couldnt keep your uninformed stupid ass opinions to yourselves #i am so fuckin mad ab this tbh #like #pissed as HELL #would gladly hunt y'all down and drag you in front of him to make you apologise kind of mad #this man is my whole entire universe and y'all made him think i would hate him for being straight wtf is even happening #and yeah yeah yeah i know the straights are hardly the victim on a broader scale #but the point is that i am a grown ass person and dont need internet teens with the capacity for nuance of a toddler speaking for me #might delete this later #just needed to get this out of my system bc the rage was consuming me from the inside

[tamerajedwards]

Sunday morning blog- update on Mom 5-28-22

It is Memorial weekend and I wish we were out placing flowers on the gravesides of our loved ones, including working on Dads headstone but life took a different turn.

It is day 7 of Moms recovery ❤️‍🩹. She became septic (that’s when infection enters the bloodstream from a given location in your body and travels everywhere and could damage or shut down your organs and even cause death ) and we aren’t sure which infection caused it but the doctor is leaning towards her ear infection. Btw if your loved one ever seems confused take them to the doctor immediately because it could be an infection.

Mom is settled into Parkridge Care/rehab Center in Pleasant Hill. It’s just a couple of blocks from my place. She has a sweet little old lady roommate named Ruby who is very kind and I found her sitting with a bag of almond joy candy bars in her lap when we arrived. She was hunched over and making noises half asleep as we brought mom in. I thought oh dear.. but to my surprise she perked up and started talking to my sister and I and is smart and coherent as a whip. She is a great roommate for mom and looks after her. We love 💕 her already and look after her too. She loves looking out at the birds all day long.

Mom was not fond about being here but she is still very very weak and needs cared for including feeding. She doesn’t eat much and pushes the fork away when I try to feed her although she does love 💕 orange 🍊 juice and milk! Her vitals are good. She has asked if we called her sister Diane to wish her happy birthday and I had to let her know that Diane is in heaven with her parents. The confusion is still there. When sepsis hits the brain and organs this can happen ugh BUT we are believing God will get us through this. He is faithful! She made it through two heart surgeries and now this so I know she’ll pull through. She’s a stubborn lady with great determination! She loves God and has a family who loves her deeply!

My sister Danny is a saint! She is with mom most of the time and I take 4-6 hour shifts when I can. I’m running between mom and helping out with my grand kids and the odd jobs I hold down.

I am grateful for the Mercy Hospital staff as well as the Parkridge staff who have taken amazing care of our mother. We would be lost without all of them.

I put my massage therapy skills to use and brought lotion in to massage her legs this morning. I did that for my grandmother when she was in hospital. Physical touch is so extremely important.

Times like this remind me of how short and precious life is. When I leave a hospital or care facility I open the door and walk into the sunshine 🌞 thanking God that in still young enough to feel good, enjoy life, run and play. But I’m reminded that not too far off in the future this will be me. I can only pray that people will be there for me when I’m old and ailing ready to depart this world and meet my Savior. The journey isn’t easy but God promises us grace all the way through. Be blessed my friends. I love you all. Thank you for the continued prayers. Xo T ❤️

[sweatermuppet]

Hi!! I'm going on T gel tomorrow (if insurance ever gets back to me, god willing) and I know you do/did T gel, so I was wondering if you have any tips/trick etc that don't get talked about often? like idk is it super sticky or something? what were some of the first changes you noticed (if you're comfortable talking about it).

Thank you so much for being a transmasc poet btw, I've been wanting to become an author for... forever so it's nice to see that there are more of us out here and I probably wouldn't have had the inspiration to go and try to get on T without your poems!!

T gel is like hand sanitizer. it dries pretty quickly, isn't sticky, but it takes several hours to fully absorb even after yr skin is dry to the touch, so there is the possibility of transferring it to someone that u have regular physical contact with (someone who shares a bed with u, touches the spot where u apply it, shares clothes). not swimming or washing 5-6 hours after application is recommended so try to plan yr day accordingly.

the most common spots to apply gel is the upper back, outer thighs, or chest + stomach so it can be easily covered by clothing, reducing the chance of touch transfer.

the first changes i noticed where emotional. i cried a lot the first two or three weeks, was easily frustrated. i think this also came with the feeling that i was going thru puberty at 20 while all my peers were in their "right bodies" & i was behind so that's my own hangups adding to it.

my hunger increased noticeably. i sweat more & needed to shower/apply deodorant more often. my overall smell changed too. got some acne, but nothing major. for me, bottom growth happened quickly as well, & after about a month, i experienced some voice cracks, though my voice had been changing before a full month was up. my libido changed almost immediately also

i think body hair was the slowest change. i was pretty hairy before going on T (unibrow, leg, arm, upper lip hair) so the places where i was already hairy just got fuller. chest, stomach, chin, & thigh hair took longer to come in

thats all i can think of right now. much love

#anonymous #faq

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

I’m listening to the first episode of Maintenance Phase (which is a great podcast btw, I listened to like every other ep first lol) and it’s just making me think about my experience with the first doctor i ever had who didn’t make me feel awful for being fat, so i’m going to vomit that out here to help any skinny people know a little of what it’s like to be fat in the healthcare system. Indulgent personal shit follows:

Every single doctor I’d had as an adult, every single one, would ask what I was doing to lose weight, would point to BMI and obesity charts telling me I was a.) fat and b.) going to die soon because I was so fat. It was something I just had to let happen to get healthcare, and the most frustrating part was that I fucking knew I was fat already. OBVIOUSLY I did. Every person I went on a date with, every coworker who side-eyed my lunch, even people at the supermarket looking like they were about to laugh when I grabbed carrots or broccoli to make myself. Knowing didn’t help. I’d tried constantly for over a decade, and nothing had changed my weight in the way they wanted it to.

So, when I went to find a primary care doc when I moved to Washington, I really assumed the same thing was going to happen. I specifically wore my “lightest” clothing and shoes so they wouldn’t impact my weight too badly, and getting on the scale was legit terrifying, because I didn’t own a scale for the specific reason it felt so bad to see the number come up, and the number ended up being 284, and I almost cried, and I just knew I was about to get yelled at. I’m tense the entire appointment (and my blood pressure reads worryingly high), but she doesn’t say anything about it. We just have a normal first appointment. She says she’s gonna have me get an at-home blood pressure cuff to see if maybe it’s just the office that made me nervous. 

And at the end she asked if I have any questions, and I pretty timidly ask if I should be worried about my weight, if I should be losing weight, and she just said “Nope, all your other vitals are good, we’re gonna get bloodwork done today anyways so we’ll see if there’s any issues there, but everything else looks fine to me.” and i legit started crying, and I told her how I was expecting her to tell me I need to lose 20, 50, 100 pounds, because that’s what other doctors told me, and she just listened and asked me when I was done talking if losing weight was something I wanted to do. I told her yes, and then she asked me a question I hadn’t ever been asked before by a doctor: If we ignore you not being happy with how you look at your weight, and people being rude and shitty to you, is being fat causing you any physical problems?

What a wild question to hear as a fat person! I’d literally never been asked that before. It was just *assumed* it was giving me health problems, and I just assumed that was correct, even though as a 28 year old plenty of patient people had already told me those things aren’t related that directly and concretely, that plenty of fat people are perfectly healthy, and plenty of skinny people are unhealthy. And I took a few seconds to think about it, because I never had before, and I said that my knees hurt sometimes when I bend down, and that I get winded easily. And I said that I know exercise would help those things, but I can’t exercise around other people, I feel too embarrassed, and I’ve never found any at-home stuff that I could keep up with or didn’t make me miserable. 

And she asked what kind of physical stuff I liked as a kid, and I mentioned gymnastics, and she asked if I’d tried yoga, since it has lots of similar stretching, focus on form, things like that, and it would likely help my knees if I started slow at first and worked my way up. and I hadn’t ever tried it, so we decided, together, for me to give it a shot before our follow up appointment to look at my bloodwork. and she emphasized that if I wanted to make it a habit, the most important thing was just to do a little bit each day, even if it’s just 5 minutes. If 30 minutes was too daunting (and let’s be honest, 30 minutes of exercise is daunting even on my days off, let alone after a 9 hour shift on my feet), just do a couple stretches, so that way your body gets used to the idea of doing it. trying to do 30 minutes 5 days a week would just mean i never did it at all.

And after we ended the appointment, suddenly I wasn’t afraid to go to the doctor anymore, imagine that! The next time I went, my blood pressure was perfect because I knew I wasn’t going to be insulted and made to feel awful, I wasn’t waiting to be told the thing I’d been told for years and tried to change, but just kept getting worse at. And, incidentally, I did end up losing weight- I’m at 225ish right now, in just like two years, which I don’t say as a “go me”, because it doesn’t matter, and for plenty of people, lifestyle changes wouldn’t have done that anyways, and there’s fucking nothing wrong with being 284 pounds, but just to point out that the only thing that actually *worked* to accomplish the goal of all the doctors I had before was not caring about that goal. None of their hectoring and shaming did the thing they wanted, and the thing so many people cautioned against- “glorifying obesity”, aka just not making fat people feel like dogshit all the time- was what gave me the mental energy to exercise regularly, to eat better. 

because I wasn’t weighing myself, and I knew at the doctor, no matter what the number was, it would be ok, I felt ok asking questions, bringing up problems I had getting cooking into my schedule, asking for help on health-related things instead of just a number over and over and over again. I was less stressed, I felt better about myself and my body, which also gave me more mental energy to do the things I wanted to be healthier. not skinnier, healthier. It’s almost like...when doctors care more about their patients’ health than their weight, when they don’t make them feel ashamed and awful, the patient will actually go to the fucking doctor. The patient will listen and care more, will ask questions, will bring up when they’re having problems or something seems off with their body. when i moved to Colorado and had my last appointment with that doctor, I cried and told her she was the best doctor I ever had, and I still tear up thinking of how much she changed and improved my life by just being a good fucking doctor who cared about my health.

also usually i read over my longer posts before i post them to make sure grammar and spelling are ok, but this is long so i didn’t do that, so it’s probably fucked. oh well.

#fatphobia #weight loss

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

#ironhusbands #sambucky #headcanons #asks

[iamyoursinblog]

Hell girl

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Word Count:  5,4 k

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LIST

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"Mom, why should I do this ?!" he practically yelled into the phone. “Okay, Mom. I understood. I'll call you later." He could hardly contain his anger, not wanting to quarrel with his mother. He hung up and threw the phone on the sofa, kicking it forcefully. From anger it seemed even the air in the hall was not enough.

“This is the first time I've seen you so angry after talking with your parents.” He heard Jaebeom laugh behind him and turned to him.

“Oh, hi, Jaebeom.” He was so confused that he didn't even notice when Jaebeom came in.

"Are you okay?" Jaebeom came closer squeezing his shoulder

“Almost” he sat down on the sofa, throwing his head back

"What happened?" Jaebeom asked anxiously, sitting down next to him.

“There is one, person...” he had to make every effort to restrain himself and choose the most neutral words in the description “she is the daughter of the best friends of my parents. Every time she appeared within a radius of half mile from me, my life turned to hell. She's a devil! And so this ... decided to come to Seoul. And my mother told her friends that I would meet her at the airport and spend her entire vacation with her. For some reason my family decided that I was a personal babysitter for this mad girl !!!” he was just seething with anger.

"Babysitter? She's that so young, how old is she? " Jaebeom laughed while watching him

“She's 5-6 years younger than me,” he shook his head.

“At 5-6? Well, she's not baby anymore, she's around 22. When was the last time you saw her?"

He looked at Jaebeom in disbelief. But really, you was 22. Only now did he realize that the last time he saw you ten years ago. For him you have remained an obnoxious child who spoils his life. He remembered how you beat him, without any physical training, on your first day of martial arts training in his studio, even though he had been in for a year and was older and stronger than you. After that, all his friends laughed at him for several more months. He shook his head, what's the difference how old you were, you hardly changed. “Moreover, if she’s already an adult, then I don’t understand why I should do this at all”

"If it worries you so much, do you want me to go instead of you and meet her, what does she look like?" Jaebeom smiled, clapping his knees

“I have no idea, I only remember her when she was 12. In addition, she will complain to her parents that I personally did not meet her, my mother will kill me after” he moaned, sliding to the floor, quietly and peacefully accepting his inevitable death. He got up off the floor picking up the phone from the couch. “I'll be back soon with this crazy girl, better hide the sharp objects just in case,” he said, heading out the door as Jaebeom bursts into laughter on the sofa.

... ... ...

He was leaning on the railing near the arrival gate. He raised his collar high and lowered the hat almost over his eyes, hoping that no one would recognize him. He looked at the time, your plane has already landed. “How long can she collect her luggage? Did she bring the whole house with her?" He doesn't stop muttering to himself as people keep walking past him. One girl caught his attention, a beauty in skinny jeans and a red jacket over a cropped top. Wow, he seems to fall in love from first sight, he chuckled above himself, unable to take his eyes off her. She walked in his direction, did she really recognize him, he hoped he would be able to persuade this girl not to post a photo in SNS at least until evening. Although he was glad that such a beauty immediately recognized him, despite the fact that dark glasses covered part of the girl's face, her beauty fascinated him and he could not take his eyes off. The girl came up to him and, without saying a word, took a selfie with him, that's stunned him a little, which made him just look at her while she typing something in the phone.

“Sorry, you couldn’t uploading our photo to SNS for at least a few hours later, I’m here not officially, I don’t want a bunch of fans to gather at the entrance.” He asked politely, hoping to negotiate with this girl. “Please, and I'll leave you an autograph and buy you coffee,” he smiled broadly, trying to get her attention. He realized that he secretly hoped that the girl would agree to drink coffee with him, giving him the opportunity to get to know her.

The girl dropped her sunglasses on the tip of her nose and looked down at him before meeting his gaze, "What are you talking about, moron?" the girl answered him in a cold tone, putting on her glasses again and throwing her black leather travel bag at him. The girl picked up the phone, answering the call, heading towards the exit, while he looked in complete shock at the heavy bag in his hands, not understanding what was happening. "Yes mom. Mark met me. Everything okay, so don't worry and stop calling me every five minutes. And I love you" you hung up the phone, turning again in his direction, while he came to himself from the fact that it is YOU! And how that ugly twelve-year-old duckling from his memory turned into this fatal beauty, into which he practically fell in love at first sight?! "Are we going to hang out here until nightfall? Of course I understand the place is cool and all that, but maybe we'll go already?" you said pointing to the exit

“Oh, yes,” he muttered, still unable to come from the shock. He silently trudged towards the car. You got into the car after you greeted his manager, and he continued to stand by the car hugging your bag. The manager walked over to him and took the bag, putting it in the trunk.

"Mark, are you okay?" the manager asked him when he didn't even move

"What? Yes, let's go" he got into the car. You took off your glasses and sat with your eyes closed, why were you so beautiful. He could not think about anything all the way staring at you.

"You're staring!" you said irritably without opening your eyes

He turned sharply forward, turning away from you. What's wrong with you, - he scolded himself mentally. After drove to the agency and taking your bag, he went to the elevator “Let's go. You will have to wait for me. I have a dance practice," he said, clicking on the desired floor.

You entered the practice room where Jaebeom was waiting for the others, who are clearly late. Jaebeom's eyes widened when he saw you. Yep, apparently he had the same reaction, he laugh at himself.

“Hi, you must be ________! I've heard a lot about you, nice to meet you” Jaebeom smiled broadly as he stood up from the couch.

You came closer to Jaebeom shaking his hand and smiling broadly, which made you look even more beautiful. "Hi, me too. Wow, oppa you're so handsome. Can I take a picture with you, I'm a fan of yours” you said sweetly, and his jaw dropped from what he just saw

"Oppa?" he stared at you

“Yes, he's oppa. Isn't that how girls call handsome guys like you?” You didn't take your eyes off Jaebeom, obviously flirting with him while taking a selfie.

Jaebeom laughed, nodding his head, “Well, as you say. I'll leave you, I need to call the others and find out where they are. See you later” Jaebeom smiled at you before heading for the exit.

You waved to him and when Jaebeom left, you called your mom “Hi Mom,” you said when she appeared on the screen. “We just arrived at Mark's dance practice. He's so cute and let me be with them. By the way, he already booked a hotel for me.” You came up to him hugging him “Tell his became so beautiful, it makes to want to take him in arms, no?” you slightly pinched his cheek, smiling broadly

“Hello, good to see you,” he said to your mom, listening to her gratitude for agreeing to take care of you. After you said goodbye, you hung up, shoving the phone back into your pocket.

“I didn't even think that you could be so nice. I thought bitchiness it was your only nature" he said, throwing your bag on the sofa. You turned in his direction returning your cold look, which you gave him before." What hotel? What were you talking about? "

"You didn't think I was going to waste my vacation on you, did you?" You asked raising an eyebrow. “I have my own business here, so let's not interfere with each other. Send me your schedule so that I know where you are if mom suddenly calls. Unfortunately, we will have to have dinner together several times in order to send joint photos to our parents. I will write when I can, when I'll be know my schedule” you continued to say adjusting your makeup while he looked at you in bewilderment “You at least react somehow, otherwise I’m as if talking to a statue” you looked at him in the mirror.

“Great, otherwise I was afraid that I would have to be a babysitter. Tell me your number, I'll send you the schedule. What will you be doing, I need to know in order to answer my parents if they ask" He was not sure he wanted to know for an answer or because he really wanted to know what you would be doing.

"It does not matter. They should think that I am dragging everywhere with you. If I had said that I came here for work, they would not have let me go. "

"Work? Do you know anything other than making life difficult for others?" He chuckled. You took your black stilettos out of your bag and changed your shoes, stuffing your sneakers in your bag. In heels, you looked even sexier. Damn, what is he thinking about?

"Did you come up with a joke yourself or did you find it on the Internet?" you looked at him. "Anyway, let's keep avoiding each other." You said pretendingly smiling “Bye“ you took your bag and went to the exit “Btw...” you stopped near the door, turned and looked at him “Your face is my style” you winked and went out the door, leaving him standing in the middle of the hall with open mouth.

“What a crazy...” he muttered and sat down on the sofa. After receiving the message, he pulled out his phone.

Thank you, sonny. I was afraid that you would send someone else for meet _______. I love you.

He continued to look at your joint photo from the airport, he did not even pay attention to the fact that he was smiling so broadly at that moment. You were smiling too, you seemed so happy and friendly in this photo. He caught himself smiling all this time while looking at your photo. He closed his eyes, leaning on back, as he expected, as soon as you appear next to him, you can say "bye" in his quiet life.

... ... ...

Thanks God, neither his parents nor yours were persistent. Five days passed, and they never called or wrote. As like you ... why all this time he couldn't stop thinking about you. He should have been glad that he didn't need to take care of you, but why then did he not feel it. He was interested in what you were doing, where you were and who you were with. You sent him your schedule, if he could call it that, it was a list of dates marked 'busy' and 'free'. He took out his phone and opened your message, you were free today. For today, his schedule is over and he may invite you to dinner, although it might be too weird. Or not ... you still need to spend time together.

I'm free tonight and not even in a terrible mood, so I can sacrifice my evening and spend it with you.

It seemed to work out naturally, he laughed, rereading his sent message. He got a reply that made him practically growl.

I pass. There are more interesting plans.

An unbearable girl, he muttered, shoving the phone into his pocket.

"Everything okay?" asked Jaebeom, who was sitting next to him.

"Yes, everything is great. By the way, we are already free today and have not hung out together for a long time, besides, tomorrow is a day off. Shall we have a party? " he raised his voice to attract the attention of Jinyoung and Jackson, who were sitting in front.

Everyone made a noise, agreeing to his suggestions, discussing where to go. “How fortunate that we didn't wash off our makeup after the photoshoot. Maybe a club? " Jinyoung smiled broadly and everyone laughed.

"GREAT! A party!" clapped Jackson.

“It’s just worth changing. Unlike our faces, our clothes don't really fit the club.” He said while examining them, and everyone laughed again.

After three hours, they finally drove to the club. Turned out to "change clothe for the club" took longer than he could have imagined. They drove into the indoor club's underground parking lot, which was only allowed by invitation. It was the only place where celebrities could relax and have a good rest without worrying about going out in the morning millions of articles with incriminating photographs. All phones and other gadgets must be lefted at the guard at the entrance. They went inside behind the manager who escorted them to the table. Great, he thought, sitting down at the table. Their table was in a place where they could see everyone, but their no one saw. He looked around the hall sipping his drink while the others discussed everyone around.

“Wow who is this? Haven't seen her before" Jackson said, pointing to the middle of the dance floor. He and Jaebeom turned their heads and he froze wide-eyed when he saw you.

"Is it not a ..?" Jaebeom said with surprise

"Yeah, she is ..." he replied staring at the way you dance. What were you doing here? A thousand questions were spinning in his head.

"Do you know her?" asked Jinyoung, looking at you with interest too.

“Yes, we know” he and Jaebeom simultaneously answered

Some guy came up to you, beginning to dance next to you, obviously trying to meet you. He didn't even notice that his fists were tightening because of it. You smiled at the guy and turned away from him, you were clearly not interested in him. He couldn't deny that he was pleased with it. Unlike this guy who continued to persistently dance next to you and flirt, not wanting to accept your refusal. His jaw tightened and he got up abruptly from the table, heading to the dance floor, when this guy ran down your back and stopped his hand on your ass. He froze when a moment later you turned and twisted the guy's wrist, forcing him to kneel in front of you. He smiled broadly, continuing to walk towards you, apparently martial arts classes were not in vain. He came up to you and grabbed the guy by the collar with force, bringing him back to his feet.

"Are there no more shorter things in your wardrobe?" he asked, giving you a skeptical look.

You tilted your head to the side, looking at him in surprise "Do you really want to discuss the length of my dress now, daddy?!" you asked sarcastically. The way you called him daddy caused a wave of desire in his body. Stop, he was distracted, he kinda angry on you.

I'll be right back and we'll discuss your ‘more interesting plans’!” he said, pointing at you with his finger before dragging the jerk towards the guards. “Throw this garbage out of here, he was touching my friend, although she clearly refused him several times before,” he said when he saw a guard he knew. After the changes, this guy was escorted to the exit, and he returned to the dance floor. “We need to talk,” he said. taking your hand and dragging you towards the back exit, where the quiet zone was.

“Mark, let me go. Where are you dragging me?!" you kept trying to get out all the way. He closed the door behind him so that no one would disturb them when you entered the VIP room.

"What are you doing here and why do you look like this?"

"I look like?" you stared at him

"Like…"

"Like who?" you asked angrily, and you were right, your long-sleeved dress reached almost mid-thigh and was completely covered. But it hugged your beautiful figure, driving him crazy, wanting to run his hands along your curves.

“This dress is too short. What are you doing here? "He said the first thing that crossed his mind.

“You are not my older brother or parents to tell me where to be and how to dress” you shouted at him and you were right. But why was it so angry then that instead of having dinner with him, you chose to go to the club. Why now the only thing he could feel was excitement. "What's wrong with you ?!"

"Everything !!! Everything is wrong with me! Every time you appear in my life everything goes awry! ”

“Excuse me, what? Oh god damn sorry your fucking life is disturbed by my presence, Mr. Perfect Guy! ” you walked up to him poking your finger into his chest with every word.

"Shut up!" he screamed at you, no longer able to control his emotions

"Oh, no really ... let's hear how I destroyed your ..." He grabbed you, pressing you firmly against his body, closing your mouth with a kiss. It seemed that his brain was disabled because he absolutely did not understand what he was doing now. You tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on your hair, deepening that killer kiss. Everything inside him turned upside down, plunging him into an all-destructive fire, not giving the slightest hope of salvation. He enjoyed too much, the sensation of your curves under his fingers, the sweet taste of your kiss, to think about the consequences.

He ran his hands down your back, squeezing your ass and pressing your body against his hard cock. You pushed him hard, causing him to lose his balance falling on the couch behind him. You left the room without even looking in his direction. He fell back on the couch, covering his face with his hands. “Congratulations, moron! You just ruined everything, "he growled, scolding himself. What was that all about. He thought he surprised himself more than you, in the moment he kissed you. How the thought that 'maybe he likes you' turned into a 'destructive passion', from which he could not control himself. But even more frightened him that if you had not pushed him away, he would not have been able to stop himself only with kisses. He pounded his fists hard on the couch before getting to his feet and headed towards exit.

"Have not seen _______?" he asked Jaebeom whom he bumped in the hallway.

“Oh, yes I saw her. She said goodbye, said that she was already leaving because tomorrow is a busy day. Weren't you together? It seems like you left together ... "Jaebeom looked at him in surprise

"Yes together. Well, I told you, she doesn't tell me anything except rudeness "he quickly changed the subject

“I don’t know, with me she’s always cute when we talk.” Jaebeom shrugged.

“That you only saw twice in total less than five minutes, of course she’s cute with you,” he laughed

"Not only when we meet, when we talk on the phone, too sweet"

"By phone?" his eyes widened

"Well yes. We exchanged numbers on the first day while we went down to the parking lot together. She told me to tell her how you are doing, because 'that angry ass, still won't write to her.'

“You seem to know more about her than I do. Maybe then you know what kind of job? " he could not hide that it made him angry

"Yes, she is a model, but her parents are against it, so I had to lie that she was going on vacation."

"I see you are almost the best friends!" he said through clenched teeth, and Jaebeom looked at him questioningly, “I don’t feel myself well, say goodbye to the guys for me. See you" he said as he walked past Jaebeom towards the exit.

He went outside breathing in the cool air. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he dialed your number "Where are you?" he asked when you answered.

"What is it to you?" you snorted into the phone

"Let's talk"

“ 'Let's talk' , or are you going to accuse me of all mortal sins again, and then you’ll kiss me?”

"Where are you?" his tone became calm and soft, least of all now he wanted to quarrel with you

"In a 7eleven a couple of blocks from the club," you answered by hanging up. When he reached the store, a wide smile lit up his face. You sat in a chair and dangled your legs with chopsticks in your mouth, waiting for the ramen to be ready. Now you looked like that the fidget he knew. Going into the store, he bought himself food and a few bottles of beer and after paid for everything, he went to you.

“Models have an interesting diet. Ramen, gimpab, kimchi and beer. Waaaaaa, and this is at one o'clock in the morning ... " he chuckled, putting his food next to yours, sitting down on a nearby chair.

"Who would say," you said took the chopsticks out of your mouth, examining his set. "When I'm angry, I always want spicy ramen," you said smiling broadly, stirring the noodles.

He laughed when you spat the noodles back out because you burned your tongue. "What a ninny" he said laughing. Tearing off your lid from the ramen, he made an envelope and stuck it into your hand. “Even children can eat ramen without burning their tongues. You take some noodles, put them in an envelope, blow on them and then eat them. " he brought chilled noodles to your mouth. “Eat” he said, placing a slice of kimchi on top.

"Yummy" you smiled, chewing on noodles and bouncing in your chair with happy. What a cutie, he thought, watching you.

He opened the beer and put it in front of you, swapping it with your closed “Here, drink”

“I could have opened it by myself,” you furrowed your eyebrows

“Yeah, that's why it's closed. Probably you almost broke all your nails while trying to open the can" he took your hands, turning towards him, examining your manicure.

You turned back and drank a sip of beer returned to the noodles "Did you come to watch on me or eat?" you said pointing to his food.

“Eat more slowly, otherwise your stomach will ache,” he smiled and you laughed

“From trying to fuck me, you went to worrying about my stomach. You never cease to amaze me today "you spoke so calmly about it that everything inside him turned into a tight knot

"I didn't try you ..." he couldn't even finish the sentence

“Okay. As you say" you got up and came to the bin throwing out the trash. "So what did you want to talk about?" You asked when you returned to your place.

“I ... About what happened in the club” he looked at his beer, unable to meet your gaze

“So...” you answered, and he stared at you in bewilderment, “What? It's you wanted to talk,” you raised the can of beer while taking a sip

"Don't you worries about that?" he asked you

“It pissed me off - yes, it worries me - not really. Does it worries you? "

"Yes, it worries me!" he looked at you with wide eyes

"Why?" you looked at him in surprise and leaned forward, getting too close “Mark, I'm not 12 years old. Even if you fucked me, it would have happened not because I could not resist you, but because I did not mind it" you whispered in his ear. “And here is my taxi” you got up from the chair pointing to the black car. “See you” you said and left, leaving him alone.

All he could do, was look at the leaving car. “Great talk,” he muttered, tossing untouched food and beer into the bin.

... ... ...

These few days he was more like a robot that does everything that is told to him. He stared out the window at the lights as his manager drove him home. The head was empty, or vice versa, there were so many thoughts in it that the brain stopped responding to them, simply mute it. Saying goodbye to the manager, he went into the house. You had the weekend ahead, maybe he should call you, he thought as he took the elevator to his floor. In all the case, you have to meet. He was staring at his door when he heard soft music playing from his apartment. Some of the guys came to visit without warning him, he thought, entering the code. His stomach rumbled with the smell of delicious food as he came in. "Whoever you are, I won't kill you just because of the delicious food," he said loudly, walking into the living room. He stopped when he saw you sitting on the couch. "What are you doing here?" he was completely taken aback by your presence, you were the last person he expected to see in his house.

“Is this your favorite question? Why do you keep asking it every time you see me? " you asked getting up from the couch. “I didn't know what you like, so I chose meat and wine” you went into the kitchen and turned off the oven, took out baked meat with vegetables and put it on the table.

"_______, what are you doing here?" he asked again because you ignored his question

"Preventing a zombie apocalypse?" you smiled while handing him a glass of wine

"What?" he frowned at the fact that he could not understand if he heard you correctly, "You just said zombie apocalypse?"

"Yes. Jaebeom said I turned you into a zombie. Since you are patient zero, you can still be saved. Probably. Judging by the symptoms and incoherent speech, you are doomed.” You went up to him, raised his hand and gave him a glass of wine, which he had not taken before.

"Really? Are we talking about zombies now? " he stares at you “I think I’m going crazy,” he muttered, drinking all the wine in one gulp. "Why are you here?" he stepped closer, placing the empty one on the table.

“Make a selfie for parents” you raised your phone and opened the camera. He pushed your hand away, causing your phone to fall to the floor.

“If you needed a photo, you would meet on somewhere alse, and not cook dinner with wine at my place!”

“You’re right,” you said with a malicious smile, brushing a lock of hair from his forehead. This angered him even more and he grabbed your hand with force, stopping you.

"Why are you here?" he screamed at you. He did not even understand how a moment later he found himself lying on his back with his hands pressed to the floor.

“Finish what you started” you said, digging into his lips.

His body reacted faster than his brain and he pressed your body against his, deepening the kiss. Rolling over, he was on top of you. He moaned as your legs wrapped around his waist, forcing him to rub his cock against your crotch. Pulling back for a moment, he tore his shirt violently, getting rid of it, not wanting to waste time for unbuttoning. Unbuttoning his jeans, he pulled them down to his hips. He lifted your skirt around your waist, ripping off your panties, pushing inside your pussy. He dug into your lips again, covering your mouth with a kiss as you screamed. He gripped your body tightly as you tried to pull away from him. He pushed hard at you all its length, causing your body to arched under him. He growled as you squeezed his dick hard. His head was spinning with pleasure, blurring the line between reality and ecstasy. He came out of you and pushed into you again with force. Your body relaxed with each deep thrust, making him want more and more pleasure. He pulled your blouse with force, getting rid of it, giving him access to your bare skin. He ran his tongue over your collarbone before biting it with his teeth. You hissed, digging your nails into his bare back. He abruptly left you and got to his feet, dragging you by the hand. He lifted you into his arms, pressing you against the wall again making a hard push into you. You hugged his shoulders tightly as he dug into your lips. This kiss was dizzying, revealing to you everything he felt now. Tenderness changed with passion and vice versa. It was crazy, he lost track of time.

It seemed to him that all eternity had passed, or maybe only five minutes. His moans mingled with yours as everything inside him raged, bringing him closer to orgasm. A wave of heat passed down his back, dropping down as you squeezed his dick hard, cumming hard. He wanted to hear as long as possible how you moan his name dissolving into your orgasm. His thrusts into you hardened, it seemed that something inside him snapped, releasing a wild beast that he was trying to hold back all this time. His fingers and teeth dug into your skin, leaving red marks on it. The more he fucked you, the more he wanted. His orgasm was like the horizon, which receded with each step towards it. Your body trembled violently in his hands with every thrust. He buried himself in your neck, hiding his smile. He growled loudly as he cum, filling you with sperm. The pleasure was almost painful, tearing everything inside him into small pieces. He continued to make shallow thrusts inside you, prolonging his pleasure, until he came to himself with intense pleasure. He put you on your feet, resting his hands on the wall and left a gentle kiss on your lips. He ran his hand over your body and laughed softly as you groaned while closing your eyes.

"Aren't you hungry?" you asked looking at the table with untouched food

“I'm terribly hungry. Let's continue?" he sank down and hugged your legs tightly, throwing you over his shoulder and heading for the bedroom.

"Oh my god ..." you moaned

"Sorry, babygirl, but he can hardly save you tonight" he slapped your ass and you giggled as he walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

... ... ...

“You know that you look like a maniac when you smile like that?” Jackson said as he sat down opposite him. “At first you walk like a zombie for several days, now you giggle almost every second. Tell me honestly, have you lost your mind?"

He laughed at Jackson's words, it must have looked like that from the side. “No, I'm completely fine. I was treated to a delicious dinner.” He smiled broadly recalling that night. Dinner was really delicious, even though you ate it in the morning. He threw his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes, remembering how you yelled at him, saying that now you have to take a bath of bb cream, because your whole body was in red marks from his fingers and teeth. I miss you, he thought to himself. He has not seen you for several days, and why in the last days you have had more work than him. He opened his eyes when sounded a phone notification. He took his phone out of his pocket and laughed as he read the message from you. Oh yes, this is what he wanted to hear now:

I'm not hungry. Let's have dinner?

_______________________

LIST

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#got7 #mark tuan x reader #mark tuan x you #mark tuan x y/n #mark tuan #mark tuan got7 #got7 mark tuan #got7 mark #got7 x reader #got7 x you #got7 x y/n #got7forever

[aspenflower17]

Alright. I need to scream into the void because it is 5 AM and the anxiety is eating me alive.

So, in the tradition that is going on now, I am not happy at my job. My boss has done a lot of really messed up stuff, even before her staff all left. Here's some of them. Note: I am the assistant manager, with no manager above me.

1. When I started, we had monthly morning meetings to make sure everyone was on the same page (I started November 2019). Because of the pandemic, I understand why we stopped. So, 2021 rolls around and I was extremely excited to start those back up. Everytime I would tell her to schedule one (because I'm not in charge of the schedule), she would find some excuse not to do it. It is now September 2021, and we have had 1 (one) meeting, which she wouldn't really let me direct.

2. She won't come into her own store unless something huge is happening. She has told me on multiple occasions that she has to have employees to run the store because she can't always be there. Note, this is a small business. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if I'm the owner because she. Does. Not. Come. In. She (hopefully) comes in once a week to bring us money and then bails.

3. Because of that, I have basically been running the store. I have had former co-workers tell people that stayed past them, "There's only so much responsibility [the owner] can put on [AspenFlower17] without just handing her the keys to the store." I have essentially gone gray enough at this point that people have suggested I just dye my hair gray. I'm going to be 26 next month... That's messed up.

4. I almost hit my breaking point a LONG time ago. After having a shift with her that left me in tears, I was ready to turn in my two weeks but then I found CBD for my anxiety. I stuck it out. When it got bad again, we hired a lovey, lovey girl who has turned into a friend for me. Because of her, I stayed a whole other year because I didn't hate work anymore. CBD doesn't help me anymore at work I'm so stressed. I no longer get to work with this coworker.

She also promoted me to assistant manager while we already had one and told me not to say anything to the current assistant manager because she would talk to her. A month or two later, we all had a meeting together, and THAT'S WHEN SHE TOLD HER!!! So, she left shortly thereafter because she felt like we were sneaking around behind her back, and I honestly don't blame her.

She also did not come in and work during covid even though we were open the whole time.

5. She has just, straight up lied about me to my staff. So, we had a lengthy discussion about what we could go for the staff to help combat burnout. I suggested we do a breakfast that wasn't a meeting just so everyone had time to hang out together. She agreed and when I mentioned going to a local restaurant, she then countered by essentially saying that we need to keep it cheap and to get stuff from the grocery store. So, I told her what day I was going to do it and then that we would have a meeting the next week. She said, "Okay. Well, mornings don't work well for me, so you just do it, and the store will just pay you back for it." Because she has a communication issue I had run into before, I verified the date and that I was okay to do it. She said yes, do it.

So day of the breakfast rolls around. It... Didn't go like I thought it would (partially because I was SUPER tired) but it happened. Whatever. The owner then spoke with one of the employees about how she was thinking about doing a breakfast for all of us. Said employee (who quit fairly soon there after) tells her we had already done it. The onelwer then tells her, "No... We had talked about it, but we never set anything up," and then proceeds to ask for details about it, and tells the employee we were all going to go to a restaurant and blah, blah, blah.

The staff then tells me, to which I obviously told them what actually happened, but it really kind of broke their trust with me and her because it wasn't a very good breakfast (we never had that nice one she told us about btw). I caught her in a point blank our again to me about another staff member later on, so I know they weren't lying (plus she seemed upset with me afterward for awhile). We did have the meeting though (the one we've had that I mentioned above, so... Obviously we decided on something... 👀

6. The back room is out of control and it's not my fault. So, we had a meeting with a higher up in the company (it's a franchise company, so no corporate but there is oversight) and he ran the numbers for us and told us that we need to buy more product to make our store a success (won't go into details, bit we buy products from people and then resale them). So I did. I pushed the staff to buy more stuff and low and behold, we had one of the best years we've EVER had, since the owner opened.

But, with more product comes more back stocking. And when I tell you our back room absolutely EXPLODED. It became a stressful place to be and I told the owner we needed more bins (which is what we put back stock in) when it started getting bad. She told me, "No. You need to make sure the bins we have are full and you need to stock more."

Well, about this time, we physically were not able to stock more because she didn't tell me it was clearance time and we were out if hangers, which I also communicated to her, and she brought us like 2 boxes (which doesn't do much). But I did everything I could to make that happen. I spent a ton of time combining bins and just trying to make it work in general and it wasn't working.

So, she comes into the back one day and just... Panics and reads me the right act for not telling her sooner that we needed bins... So I tell her, "But I did, back before it got this bad. You told me to just combine bins and put stuff out, but I can't do that because I can't because I'm out of hangers," and she says, "But I didn't know it was this bad..." But then later redacted that to say I never told her. So, she brings bins (BECAUSE SHE HAD SONE THE ENTIRE TIME), we... Kind of get the backroom manageable, and she tells me, "Now, if it ever gets bad again, you have to let me know. This is why communication is so important."

So, we use all the bins and are BARELY able to keep that okay. So, fast forward a couple months. The backroom is still messy and we've had... 4 people leave at this point (many because of the backroom). I have my lovely coworker come out of the back and tell me point blank, "[AspenFlower17], that backroom is stressing me out. I don't care if I have to buy them. We HAVE to get bins," so I go, "Cool. Let me text [the owner]," and so I text and tell her, "We need more bins. The staff is getting stressed out," and she texts back, "Well, I need a list if everything you have back there first," ... So I do. She then comes in and instead of working in the back, she's upfront BUYING MORE PRODUCT (she always buys a TON). Then, when I get there, she pulls me around the store, tells me everything that's wrong (note I haven't left behind the counter in we weeks because of buys), and then pulls me to the back, brings out a ton of bins for everyone to stock, and then leaves... That was the ultimate breaking point. I started enacting the exit plan I had come up with since I was already planning on leaving. We still don't have new bins btw.

7. Okay. So. I hired 3 new people. I knew one of them wasn't going to be great, bit figured the other two would be a good fit (this is around the time that everyone was leaving their jobs).

One girl, my favorite actually of the three, completely no showed on me and sent me a text quitting about it 40 mins before her shift though I didn't get it until 5 mins after she was supposed to show up because I DON'T CHECK MY PHONE AT WORK? I told the owner and said I could stay the extra two hours. She says, "Glad you're there."

Next day, I was able to spend some time in the back because, well, I needed to, and didn't get super far, but got some stuff done. I offered to stay longer but was told it was fine, even though one of my coworkers have herself dry socket and was in pain. We were short staffed because that girl quit.

So I go to my friend's house, glad the weeks over because I had the next day off. I then get a text from the coworker with dry socket asking was I actually did in the back. I tell her, getting really pissed at this point, and then she tells me something is leaking back there. So, I head BACK over after a 7 hour shift. She's freaking out and crying. My other coworker is trying to figure out the leak. In the meantime, product is getting wet. So, I stay back there and organize. We send the one with dry socket home and the other coworker is pretty pissed, says she's not staying past 8 and that I shouldn't either; the owner needs to if she wants the store to stay open. So, she texts the owner asking what to do, and doesn't get a reply. I text her, and get a reply 20 minutes later saying the earliest she can come in is 8...

So, this coworker tells me I need to leave because she's taking advantage of me and everything. I ended up staying another 4 hours. The owner was not there right at 8 (did I mention she's also late to almost EVERYTHING?) and seems put out because she had to scramble to find a baby sitter... Ummm... This is your store? And we could have closed early?

8. She's given me tons of shifts with BRAND new people and expected the store to run just fine. She won't even come into help with that.

9. So, I finally put in my two weeks on September 3rd. Work was so bad, I was starting to have suicidal thoughts. Everyone had just reached their breaking point and I was just done. I did not get a reply from her about it (I texted because of my anxiety). The next Tuesday she talked to me about it. I told her I was having suicidal thoughts and I wasn't happy. The next day we talk again, she and convinced me to stay if she made me the backstock manager, so I would only really deal with the back room and the stuff I actually enjoy (and no customers). She also told me she would handle staffing and front end stuff. I figured that would be a good thing, since that's what I've wanted since I started and it would be a full time position. The first week went fine. The second week I had time off, WHICH I REQUESTED BACK IN APRIL, and things just fell apart (partially because if another no show) and she did try to guikt trip me into coming in, which I refused.

It is the 22nd and I am not backstock manager. She has scheduled me 6 days this week and has scheduled it so she is only on the schedule twice. I still have to do staffing things. I'm still doing front end stuff, and she actually got snippy with me on Monday because she left for two hours and a new girl was whining about breaks and asking if she was coming back WHILE I WAS BUSY, so she asked if she could text the owner when she was coming back and I told her sure, whatever. The owner then calls me asking all these questions about why she had texted her and that she shouldn't have her phone on her and blah blah blah WHILE I AM LITERALLY TRYING TO HELP A CUSTOMER WHO DOESN'T SPEAK VERY GOOD ENGLISH!!! and then said, "Well, technically, I'm not on the schedule. I just came in to help you guys, so you're going to have to figure out breaks."

... What happened to you being in charge of the front?

She says I'll be in my new position in a matter of WEEKS, but won't show me anything new with it and with how this is going, I'm pretty sure, even if I do get in this new position, she's going to make me do shift leader stuff when she's short staffed again. She has had she entire staff quit on her before, so it's not like this is a new thing with her.

She doesn't complete all the tasks she's supposed to during the day and just leaves it for night crew, or if she's closing, for the next morning (because she does often open) but then doesn't get it done, again pushing it onto night crew. If we don't get done though, she'll reprimand us.

The problem is, I would just leave, but I feel really guilty about it. We are extremely short staffed and I feel like if I leave now, the store will fail and I've put so much into it, it just feels like a waste.

Everyone is telling me to get out and just leave... But... Anxiety... Plus I feel bad because I told her I'd stay.

Honestly, at this point I'm just looking for some validation that I should leave.

Oh, I also get paid $14... For an assistant manager position. Minimum wage in my state is $7.25 for reference. I also have a seasonal job that ends in October that doesn't pay well, but I enjoy.

Please... Thoughts?

#toxic workplace #sorry if this is jumbled #i kept going back and adding stuff #bad boss? #should I leave? #what should i do #work #anxious #leaving my job #help #opinion

[factual-fantasy]

20 MORE asks?? :DD Thanks you guys!!

Bash Buggy would put the entire popsicle in his mouth, bite down and try to pull the popsicle stick out. Usually it works and he would start freaking out because its too cold, he would then try to chew it really fast and swallow it. Just resulting in his mouth being even colder. 

He does this every single time despite it usually being an unpleasant experience.

Same here. I was hesitant to draw it at first but eventually gave in. I’m so glad I did XD.

Well, its going better than last time at least. Although people have stopped voting..

Two characters have made it to 5 votes, and most others stand at 3 or 4 votes. I think those are as many votes I’m going to get unfortunately so I’m just going to have to work with what I have.. votes are still open though! :}

Thank you very much!! ♡♡♡ I’m a little better today.

I am self taught, and have been drawing for as long as I can remember. Some of my oldest memories are drawing related. So about 10+ years or so? I know, its a little embarrassing that I’ve only come so far in 10 years. Although I suppose for most of those years I was very young and didn’t know what I was doing sooo...

Anyway, I got some helpful tips from a very talented relative and went to a class that taught me stuff I had already taught myself, but that’s about it. Everything else was stuff I learned myself. :}

No I haven’t heard of him, but now I have and I’m addicted XD

I have 17 Decepticon OCs so far and 1 Autobot that have yet to be drawn.

I haven’t drawn any of the Cons character reference sheets yet, but I hope to someday. The closest I got to drawing a proper picture of one of them was this drawing with Big Blue.

(Big Blue looks like this in alt mode btw 👇)

*You throw a doughnut into the puddle*

*The doughnut disappeared*

*You throw the love into the puddle*

*The love disappeared*

*You hear a pleased hum from the puddle*

You mean these guys? Man.. its been a hot minute since I’ve thought about them.

Well, hmm.. I’m not sure what I can talk about.. Maybe I can refresh you on the general story?

Okay so, the two kids Nokah and Aneal lived on a little island together with their mom and dad. Sometime when they were very little, their mom passed away from some kind of illness. Later on, their dad was killed in a raid where slave traders came in and took all the villagers they could and killed those that stood in their way. Their dad being one of them.

They stuck together thankfully and were brought from place to place until they were eventually sold and were on a ship that was going to take them to their new owners.

While they were sailing, a pirate ship showed up and began to raid the slave ship.

Captain Arthur, the red parrot guy, found these two kids below deck and rescued them. The kids were fed, cleaned and clothed. After they settled, they told the prates their story. The pirates discussed the situation and decided that they cant just keep the kids, they have to bring them to their own kind where they can have a long and prosperous life. Because the life of a pirate is no life for a child.

So off they go, to an island pretty darn far away to take these kids to an orphanage that is populated with with species similar to theirs.

By the time they got there, the kids and the crew got attached to each other. But Arthur pushed on, wanted to do what was best for the children. This part of the story is foggy, but something broke the camels back for Arthur. He couldn’t bare to part with the kids for one reason or another and brought them back to his ship, officially making them pirates and valued crew members.

There’s more to the other characters that I have built.. Like how Arthurs ship belonged to his mother and he grew up on it. Him moms ship is one of 3 very beautiful and rare ships that were way past their time when it came to architecture and technology.

After his mother died, his ship was stolen and sold away to some hawk guy or something. Solomon, the blue parrot, was one of his employees and was put in charge of the ship. Arthur started working for the hawk guy and was eventually promoted to one of the cleaning crew guys who was supposed to clean his moms ship. No one knew the ship rightfully belonged to Arthur.

He gained Solomon's trust and kissed the ground he walked on to make him let his guard down. Solomon wasn’t supposed to leave the ship under anyone else’s watch, but he did. He was lazy and told Arthur to watch the ship for that night. Arthur could be trusted with the ship couldn’t he? Of course he can be trusted. What’s the worst that could happen?

The next day Arthur and his mothers ship were gone without a trace. Solomon’s reputation was ruined and he got a real harsh talking to about how stupid it was of him to let the ship fall in someone else’s hands.

Don’t feel bad for Solomon, he’s a really nasty and narcissistic character, he deserved that. Anyway, Arthur got away with his mother’s ship finally and chose to become a pirate to protect it. He slowly built a crew of people that he considered family and has been sailing the world ever since.

Him and his crew are always on the move, his ship is very desired so its raided very often. And Arthur is pretty sure that Solomon is still out there somewhere.. looking for him. So because of these factors, Arthur ever doesn’t leave his ship. Despite how bad that is physically and mentally for a bird.

His crew will go to an uninhabited island and just take a break for a few days on the beach. But Arthur?.. I mean, he might fly around for a bit or go for a walk on the sand, but ultimately he’ll just stay on deck where he can monitor his ship.

There’s other things too, like how Solomon catches up to them with a small fleet of ships and stuff like that.. buuuut I feel like I’m rambling a bit too much..

I’m very glad you remembered my OCs and were interested enough to ask about them. Feel free to ask any more questions about them if there’s anything else you want to know! ♡മ◡മ♡

Hug??

Also thank you, I’m very glad you love it! (♡´౪`♡)

Thank you! :} My top favorite cartoon shows, 1 being top and 5 being bottom are..

Gravity Falls

Transformers Prime

Spongebob

Octonauts

Beetle Baily

Don’t judge, I know they’re all mostly kids shows... I would’ve added The Three Stooges in Transformers Prime’s place, but that’s not a cartoon..

ALL OF THE THANK YOU’S!!!

I’m so flattered that you think I’m a wonderful artist! I really do try to make things look nice, and I’m glad you see that. :}

When it comes to dedication, I surprised myself with how long I’ve stuck with these characters so far, usually I’d loose passion by now. :o Same with the designs too! I have no idea how I was able to make them. But I’m glad you like them none the less. ,,●ᴗ●,, 

When it comes to patience? I guess I just.. I don’t know, XD Normally I don’t have much of it. I guess the real life connection I have to the real cars helps out my patience when it comes to drawing them..? None the less, I’m glad that you noticed!

I know drawing machinery and drawing it consistently can be very hard. I suppose you just need to have a reference on hand and try your best to mimic it.

And yeah, clearly I am very sensitive, but don’t worry about your comment! I took it as a compliment. :} Other people seem to think that I’m a kind and sensible person who deserves happiness, so it must be true! X3

Anyway, thank you for all the lovely compliments and the good luck wish with my job, I’m probably going to need it. I appreciate all that you’ve said and am very flattered! ♡ඩᴗඩ♡

I have heard of the movie and how great it is, but I have not seen it yet. :/ I plan to though! It looks very pretty. :}

Well, a long time ago sometime after the show had been completed, I stumbled into the fandom. I ended up really liking Ford as a character to the point I was convinced to watch the show. And of course, I got addicted XD

When it comes to my favorite episodes? Hmm.. I really like Carpet Diem, and Headhunters. Although I’m sure there are more that I like. :}

Thank you. Honestly my first day was 100% fine, I just got emotional for no reason afterwards and cried a lot. I blame the 2 hours of sleep.

When it comes to my very first OC? It would be impossible to tell.. I have been drawing for a very long time and my memory simply doesn’t go back that far.

So.. I cant show you my first one for sure.. however.. quite a while back, I redrew some really old OCs I found. So these guys are SUPER old. I can show you them at least. :}

Yikes, I had no idea what I was doing back then did I?

When it comes to most attached to, that is always changing so I cant say for sure.

I actually am small enough that I can probably fit in a regular refrigerator freezer, but thank you for offering a different sized one. :}

Also, if the contents of my head are liquid now, wouldn’t making me cold or freezing me be bad?

I have only watched Transformers: Prime and the Bayverse movies. I haven't finished Transformers: Prime yet though, I keep forgetting to..

I considered watching other adaptions once I was finished with Prime, but none of the art styles quite appeal to me..

*You place the bucket and mop on the floor beside the puddle*

*The puddle moves away from the bucket and mop*

*You hear a muffled “I’m good, thanks.” beneath the puddle.*

(Referring to an older ask)

Also thank you, I’m very glad I finally got one. :}

#my response #transformer ocs #my ocs

[appleb0mb]

FINALLY! THE ART PROCESS (Part Two)

Continuation of Art Process below!

Step Five: Shading

So around this time it was almost 1 AM in the morning and I was forced to go bed at that point...

I would say after I woke up early in the morning (8 AM on Sunday), I continued for approximately 4 hours. 

I remember being panicky since I usually upload Sundays, but thanks to losing an extra 4 hours (4AM on a Sunday night), I was extremely behind in finishing the album cover. 

(But thanks to you guys and the support, I felt a little less pressure)

Also, I changed the flower’s coloring since it looked more like a sunflower than a Gerbera. I could’ve changed it for Kalim since a sunflower’s meaning is happiness, adoration, and loyalty - but the ‘loyalty’ wasn’t working out for me.

Furthermore, by the time I did that I already based the WHOLE album on the color scheme of orange. So that wasn’t even an option. 

Step Five: Background + Highlights

I REALLY LOVED THIS PROCESS NOT GONNA LIE

Usually I would hate the lineart as it looks before the adding multiple layers - but to me it looks SO much better! It was tempting to put THIS as the cover! 

Though, I tend to have a certain style in the album, so I had to keep the same focus. 

I really wanted to mostly highlight them n a i l s , the Gerbera, and his eyes. But now that I look at the final product, I think I lost that focus in the end (in terms of his nails). *cries*

Also, I would say Step 4 and Step 5 is his color scheme - Step 4 being the base, and Step 5 the shading to give them  g  l  o  w  s .

This one took around Sunday night (estimation of 6PM - 10 PM), and thanks to homework being just tests - I secured my time doing this instead.

At this point, I felt I was basically looping Mystique + [insert 3rd song in the Scarabia Trilogy] like CRAZY. I repeated that song the whole way through just like I did with Lupine and Rosaceae. 

I also enjoyed the shine of that Gerbera - I felt like a proud mom -

Just to let you know btw the leaves are apart of Kalim’s design, not just for show.

Step Six: Final Background + Highlights

When I finalized it a little more...this was Monday night when I was finishing this up 5 PM - 6:40 PM. I was really excited to finish this piece - by announcing that Mystique was about to come out!

But around 6:40 I had to discontinue due to my daily life...but other than that I was generally pleased.

Though, I think that I fell short in the process. Some areas that were supposed to be highlighted (such as the feathers, bandana, and leaves) were not highlighted properly. 

Though, I’m glad that the main focus was still there in the whole piece - his eyes and the flower (which also gives focus on his face). So I’m satisfied.

Step Seven: Orange + Red Lineart

Now for this I did the following (to achieve that look above):

Copy and paste the lineart on another layer (from now on I’ll call that pasted Lineart #2.)

Lineart #2 is selected, and colored in in a different color (in red)

Shift the lineart to a certain side (which is more of the right)

Add Lineart #3 (which repeats #1 - #3), which was colored in orange.

I was going add hints of green and blue - but I didn’t like how the colors made Kalim look...so I left orange and red. 

Plus, red is apart of his original color scheme + the flower’s orange so it gave me more of a reason to keep that focus. 

Gosh dangit, it’s colour not color Tumblr-

I did this once I arrived home and I was absolutely elated! I wanted to post it as soon as possible, but I wanted to be more professional in terms of announcements and all that, which sends us to Tuesday. 

I scheduled it Monday night/Tuesday morning (4 AM) at 4 P M so I can get you reactions live and be active for questions and responses but THAT didn’t happen- 

Step Eight: Title -> Final Piece!

Wow! You made it this far! That was a lot to read (lol).

Feel free to send in requests about the art process btw! This includes the plot, the characters - anything! I will happily answer ASAP :)))))))))))))

I feel like I should do this for ??? [ Insert 2nd song of Scarabia Trilogy], but this WILL delay the song as well (especially the lyric analysis that I will and must do). 

But luckily, I’m physically out of school on Friday so it wholeheartedly depends on how much I get done in the weekend...

I must admit - taking the time to do Kalim in normal hours felt pretty good unlike Lupine and Rosaceae. That doesn’t mean I love them less though-

Anyways. You know the drill! 

Thank you for supporting the fan made music and art of Twisted Wonderland and Date A Live content.

Curious? [ Art Process - Part One ]

#twisted wonderland #TWSTxDAL #scarabia #twst kalim #twst jamil #kalim al asim #jamil viper #1 DOWN #2 TO GO #honestly #I enjoy the hype and the adventure #I hope you guys are too! #Stay tuned. And have a wonderful day! #TWSTxDAL art process

[wallofweird]

hi fae, how do you feel about people saying that kevin only tolerates madison bc of kate and therefore they won't work? :/

Hi! Well, I think these people are definitely not watching This Is Us (or any type of television, for that matter) or living on Earth. Or seeing and unseeing things according to their pre-established opinions. Either way, that’s absolutely not true. On most of their interactions Kevin is polite, as you can see it here:

I love this part because there are at least three other guests closer to him but she is the first person he offers a glass of champagne... If you pay attention to the scene, he is holding THREE glasses. He gives one to Madison and he puts another on a shelf, I don’t know about the third, but there were definitely more women in the room that could’ve had that(those) glass(es), he just didn’t care, lol. Also, Rebecca is looking and smiling at him, but he doesn’t even notice it because he is too busy looking at Madi... I mean, another direction.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Kevin doesn’t look very happy with the idea of dancing and still he doesn’t protest.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

This gif doesn’t show it, but he turns his head and watches Madison as she walks away just like on gif number 4.

Siding with her during a conversation with Kate.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Comforting Madison.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/618991372262916096/kevin-looking-at-madison-nothing-but-blue-skies

He isn’t smiling here, but does this seem to be a person that is annoyed with the other? He has soft, delicate, gentle eyes while looking at her.

And this whole thing about Kevin despising Madison and only tolerating her because of Kate is even more ridiculous because on this scene he is basically begging her to invite him to come inside.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

If he thought her company was so unpleasant, why would he accept it in the first place? He could’ve left and gone to Rebecca’s house instead, or come back after Toby got back from work, he could’ve called Randall, or Nicky, or simply gone somewhere else to make new friends because it’s not like struggles when he socializes with strangers.

And here is what Madison had to say about her night with him:

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/617836054621339648/do-you-want-to-know-why-i-think-i-slept-with

He made her feel comfortable enough to be her true self and he ended up spending at least a few hours with Madison. He spent the night at her place and only left the next morning... If her presence were so repellent, why didn’t he leave after the sex? Madison didn’t point a gun at him and forced him to stay. Even after he woke up, he kept lying next to her on the bed without a shirt on... Plus, there was the option of leaving without saying anything while she was asleep, but he didn’t do that.

Actually, the only time I believe Kevin was rude to her was at the hospital, but you have to analyze the context: his sister went into early labor, there was an endless list of possible complications to the baby and herself, it took hours until Kevin got some information, Kevin had been drinking, he was dealing with his failed attempt to connect with his uncle, the frustration of having relapsed after an entire year of being sober, feeling guilty for lying to everyone about it and the fear of losing Zoe because of those lies. He was going through A LOT. Those were probably some of the hardest hours of his life. Yet, at first he treated her just fine, it was the fact she wouldn’t stop talking (because that’s the way she was coping with the situation and usually what he does too when he’s sober, btw) that he said those things to her. Now, I don’t drink, but as far as I know people on hangover usually have headaches so it’s not weird that they will avoid noises and I remember Kevin saying a few minutes before that he was on hangover.

I also remember that he immediately regretted it and apologized to Madison, but she didn’t listen and left (I don’t blame her). And when she walked away he was hit by a dose of consciousness and realized his was being “an ass” and apologized to his family. She wasn’t the only one, he was snapping at everybody, because it wasn’t Madison, Randall or anyone else that was annoying him. It wasn’t personal. It was the stress of the entire situation that was making Kevin take it out on everybody. Plus, even though he didn’t specifically snap at Zoe, when he went outside to get some air and clear his head, she offered him company and Kevin shut her out.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/618572824853069824/im-sorry-what-exactly-are-you-doing-here

By the way, Kevin bumped into Madison when he was getting out of the elevator and attempted to apologize for a second time.

Another scene people use as an ‘example’ of rudeness is this moment on the season finale, but I sincerely disagree. Here’s why:

Kevin was in the middle of a heated fight with his brother and that was almost getting physical when Madison arrived for the party.

And when she showed up at the door he just told her the truth: it wasn’t a good time.

Now, does that look like an angry, utterly annoyed and disdainful face for you? Because the way I see it, it’s just a guy who’s weary and not in his best state of mind, which is comprehensible since he was in a middle of an argument, his mother’s health is deteriorating, Randall had talked her into doing a clinical trial in the other side of the country despite her previous refusal and that’s just SOME of the heavy stuff he was dealing with at that specific moment.

However, Madison doesn’t bother and enters the place anyway.

And Kevin doesn’t yell at her, protest or leaves, he just lets her in and closes the door.

Again: does this look like he hates Madison so much like some people make it seem?

THIS is being annoyed and/or angry:

CREDIT: https://rostovarps.tumblr.com/post/165520445651/kevin-pearson-in-this-is-us-01x07-the-best

CREDIT: https://adyadintheforce.tumblr.com/post/177326964546/shame-on-all-of-us

And this is just being upset, tired, feeling like all your energy has been drained out of your body:

If you watch the scene, his face on the picture above and on this gif has identical expressions:

CREDIT: https://ltbelanna.tumblr.com/post/189147462109/this-is-us-4x08-sorry-im-sorry-me-too-see

And really, how did these people expect him to react? Did they expect him to smile, kiss her and propose a second round of hookup? His reaction made perfect sense to everything that was happening at the time.

Do they believe things would’ve been different if it had been someone else at the door, like Kate’s neighbor Gregory or somebody from her support group? Do they think that if it had been another person he would’ve hugged them, offer coffee and crack jokes? That the problem was Madison and not the situation he was in with Randall and Rebecca? 

Anywaaaay, by the end of their conversation he had already softened up and was even slightly smiling at her. 

CREDIT: https://millennial-mess.tumblr.com/post/613565105725194240/im-so-sick-of-chasing-ghosts-im-tired-of

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/620438418688704513/you-da-best

Sure, it wan’t a wide smile because it wasn’t like his problems had disappeared all of a sudden, but he had found a silver lining in the midst of everything.

And being exhausted, upset, annoyed, stressed or angry is part of the human experience and part of being in a relationship of ANY KIND: romantic, platonic, familial. Taking it out on someone can happen sometimes as well. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. People are not perfect. People are not robots. They navigate through negative feelings and emotions too. It’s how things are in real life and also how things are on television, specially on This Is Us, which is a show that focuses on relationships and emotions.

Jack and Rebecca, Beth and Randall, Kate and Toby, Randall and Kevin, Kevin and Kate, Nicky and Kevin, Kevin and Sophie, William and Randall, Kevin and Cassidy all had moments like this... The list goes on. Would the same people define these relationships/friendships as unsuccessful and fake because of a few unfriendly moments? I doubt it, because what really defines a relationship as healthy and successful is the people’s ability to recognize their own mistakes, forgive each other, work on themselves as individuals and as friends/a couple/a family and getting even closer and stronger after facing the hardships. It’s not smiling, talking, hugging and kissing 24/7 because nobody does that. Maybe for a few days and weeks, but you won’t last even a month behaving like this, let alone YEARS.

And the complications are also what keep the story interesting and engaging. I don’t mean something like toxicity and abuse, but if couples, relatives and friends don’t disagree, argue and face problems out and within their relationship, the show doesn’t go anywhere. There must be conflict. There must be drama. And there must be happiness. It’s about balancing these aspects out.

If they want to watch something that’s always sunshine and rainbows and where the characters are always happy, they should watch a TV show targeted to three-year-old children, because honestly This Is Us has never been and will never be this kind of show. 

And we know Kevin has a pregnant fiancee on season 5 and since This Is Us is not a soap opera, I seriously doubt Kevin will go out there impregnating multiple women with multiple children and multiple sets of twins. I reckon it’s safe to say it’s Madison. That means they will go through one of the most amazing and yet vulnerable and challenging experiences two people can ever face and instead of pulling them apart, it will only bring them closer to the point they will get engaged. For me, this sounds like a relationship that is DEFINITELY WORKING.

#kevin pearson #kevison #this is us #sorry I didn't have gifs for everything and this is long lol #anon

[littlebitoffanfic]

Lessons

Fandom: Wrong Turn 4 Relationship: Sawtooth, One Eye, Three Finger Request: I haven’t done this before but I was wondering if you could right a one shot for the hilliker brothers from wrong turn. I would like it to take place during wrong turn 4 but if that’s not something you can/want to do then you can choose. I’m not picky. I really love your blog btw and you’re such a talented writer and I just can’t wait for what you have planned next. I wish you the best of luck!

A/n: I wasn’t sure if you meant it to take place during the actual movie. Then I started thinking about having the reader around during the plot and my mind ran away with the idea. I took some creative liberties with the plot. Hope you don’t mind 😊 also, if this isn’t what you were after, just let me know. Im always happy to revisit these guys haha.

  You were fuming. Absolutely livid as you paced back and forth by the doors, your arms crossed across your chest as you waited for them to get back. It was bad enough they had left while you were mid argument but then to be this late back? It was dark out, and they knew you hated the dark in the hospital. Part of you wondered if they were doing it to teach you something. That you couldn’t be there without them. You shook off the thought as best you could. But it still lingered. None of you would make it in the outside world, and you could easily survive without them. You could hunt and defend yourself, plus you didn’t have the… physical differences which would make it easier for you to blend into normality. Not that you ever wanted to. And you were sure they would survive if you walked away. But you all stayed together because you loved them dearly, and they loved you. They never said so, they couldn’t speak properly, but they showed it. And on the rare occasions you fought with the brothers, they were the first to apologies.  Today, Sawtooth, One Eye and Three Finger had been unhappy with you because you had went out after someone on your own. You hadn’t been hurt, but you knew that if he had been the slightest bit brighter or stronger, he could have given you a run for your money. But instead of congratulating you for a good kill, Sawtooth got protective, as did the brothers. 

“I can protect myself. I don’t need you hovering over me all the time!” You ended up shouting at them, out of pure annoyance. Sawtooth raised an eyebrow before straightening up and walking out, his brothers in tow. They glanced back at you, but they agreed with Sawtooth and that meant they would follow him. They had all left in the truck 7 hours ago, driving off into the snow. You knew they had been planning on setting up wire around the grounds so if someone was running, they would get caught, so it wasn’t like they had just stormed off. There had been a job to do. But then the hours rolled on and the sun began to set and you felt the fear set in. the building was old, and creaked under the awful weather that only seemed to get worse. To make everything just that little more worse, the powerlines were down and while you could start the generator yourself, you hated going down into the basement to do it. One Eye always did it. Just as you were about to go up and try go to sleep, you heard the sound of engines. Not car ones, but more like motorbikes. Frowning, you looked out one of the top windows and your heart dropped. 4 snowmobiles pulled up outside the hospital. Each had 2 people riding on them. Shit shit shit. One, two or maybe three people you could deal with, but this many? No, you couldn’t cope. You felt panic begin to set in as you tried to think of what to do. The brothers were gone and you had no idea when they’d get back. They had taken their truck and, if they were stuck out in the snow, they were more than happy to bunker down wherever. The best thing you could think to do was keep a close eye on the new comers. Find out whos connected to who, whos weakest, easier to scare, smartest etc. It was all you could. You quietly ran through the hospital, a skill you learned from your many chases with Three Finger. The sounds echoed off the long, deserted halls as you tried to pinpoint where they were, not wanting to run right into them. As the echoes died down, it told you they had entered a room with furnishings. Your knowledge of the building told you it was the lounge area, which the large fire place, some old couches and wheelchairs. You would sit in the large windows in the summer, the warm sun providing a lovely warmth while you read. But in the winter, the room got an awful draft so you and the boys basically abandoned it. You abandoned most the rooms during winter. The main ones that kept being used were the kitchen, the ‘bedroom’ in the attic and a couple of the rooms on the upper floor. Heat rises, after all. As you approached the room, you knew you were right. Slipping into a little janitors closet that had a chip lock so you could lock it from the inside, you knew there was a vent that lead directly between the two. No, you wouldn’t risk crawling inside, but it did allow you to listen. The closet itself was bigger than a standard closet, and mainly empty apart from a bucket, 3 tiered unit that came up to your hips and unit with shelves built into it which was about 5 foot tall and right next to the vent. So you jumped up on the first unit then sat on the second, now able to touch the roof if you reached up just above your head. You heard a girl asking for someone to find stuff to burn. There were footsteps leaving the room before they started talking about someone called Porter. You wondered if the guy you had killed earlier was called Porter, but then you remembered he had had ID that named him David Smith. there was some more talk about phone service, then the others came back and, from the sounds of it, they light a fire. You almost bash your head back on the wall out of boredom. For people who talk so much, they talk about the most dull shit in the world. then they spoke about looking around. Despite wanting to stay in your den, you followed the bigger group as they explored, keeping as close as you could. They went through the files, and you felt a rage build in your chest as they mocked the people who used to be trapped up in here. Just like the guards had. The guards didn’t have so much to say when there wasn’t bars separating them from the people they taunted. You happened to glance out the window when you saw three figures approaching the building. Sawtooth, One Eye and Three Finger. They were focused on what ever they were dragging back, so hadn’t seen the snowmobiles out front. You wondered where the truck was, but then realized it must have gotten stuck somewhere due to the storm. You paused for a moment, frowning. They had trekked back through the storm on foot? They could have bunkered down in the truck for the night, so why fight against the storm? You were happy they were home, but you still felt a rush of anger at the situation. You needed to see them, so you quickly and silently made your way to them. Your pondering meant they had already been through the halls and to the kitchen. When you ran in the room, you noticed how One Eye flinched when he walked in and saw you storming towards them. Three Finger refused to meet your eyes as they filed into the room. But Sawtooth wasn’t with them. “Where have you been?!” You hiss, your voice breaking. Three Finger held up some barbed wire then tossed it to the side when he saw you were still just as angry. Just then, a large figure entered the room, dragging something behind. Something about Sawtooths presence made you feel uneasy. Mainly because you two were still angry at each other. But before anything could be said, he threw the body on the floor between you and the brothers. If this were any other time, you’d have smiled, making a joke about it being a sacrifice to please you. But something niggled at the back of your head. approaching the body, you fell to your knees beside it and started rummaging through the pockets. Until you found a wallet. Opening it up, you found a driving licence. With the name Porter. “Well, that’s one less loose end.” You threw the wallet down. You huffed, about to cuss when suddenly, all the lights flickered on and the sound of loud laugher and cheering echoed through the corridors. Immediately, you saw the three of them go ridged. You rose to your feet, not looking the brothers in the eyes. Turning on your heel, you left the room but they followed. Dragging behind you, you all went towards the noise, slipping into an observatory room with two way glass, you crossed your arms and glared at the group as the brothers looked through the glass. You were now not only angry at the brothers, but at the people as well. They had been the doctors office, had seen some of the files there, they KNEW of the suffering people had endured in these halls and they were dancing around like fucking morons. You saw Three Finger flinch, backing away from the glass a little as they realized why you were so on edge. Why you were now so angry. One Eye looked at you, the guilt obvious in his eyes as he reached out, prepared to comfort you. But you backed away from him, refusing to look at them as you shook your head. Fresh tears pooled in your eyes. They hadn’t been here when you really needed them because they were mad at you. And although they didn’t know of the people coming, you couldn’t just ignore the ache in your chest. You walked through the brothers, who parted to let you through until Sawtooth grabbed your arm. You jumped, not expecting it as you looked up at him. In all honestly, you didn’t know what he wanted. Perhaps it was instinct and he didn’t want you to leave upset. Or perhaps it was because he didn’t want you wondering off when there was a new threat within the building. But you wanted to prove a point, so you yanked your arm back but just as you were about to leave the room, the group of people started using the old wheelchairs as toys and rolled around like morons before making their way to the auditorium. you creeped behind them, with the boys behind you.   you were about to creep to the door when One Eye caught your hand. As with his brother, you were about to yank away when he nodded to the stairs which lead to the upper floor. As if to show you, he pulled you up the stairs and towards the balcony where the group now sat speaking below. One Eye waited by your side, eager for praise from you, but you were too distracted as they managed to play something that made your insides twist painfully. It was the recording of One Eye during an electrotherapy session. You watched as he wrestled against the restrains then his whole body writhed in pain. ‘session’ actually meant ‘punishment’. And One Eye normally ended up in these ‘sessions’ because of you. If he thought the guards were too rough or cruel to you, he would act out. He had attacked god knows how many people because of how they treated you. And he would be punished every time. You remembered crying against the bars as they threw his limp body into the cell with his brothers. Turning, you saw One Eye had noticed the film playing. He had shrank into himself, his gaze on the floor and you noticed his hands were shaking slightly. Stepping closer, you ducked your head under his own and pressed your lips against his in a few chase kisses before nuzzling your cheek against his own as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He responded to your affections, his arms snaking around your waist as he buried his face in your neck. He held you so tight that it hurt, but you didn’t care. You saw something move out the corner of your eyes, your head snapping to see Three Finger and Sawtooth. Three Finger snarled when he noticed the film, obviously defensive of his brother. Sawtooth’s fists clenched by his sides, his face stoic. One Eye pulled back when he noticed his brothers, but didn’t dare let go of you. “We’re in this together, right?” You looked to Sawtooth, who nodded in agreement. “Okay, then this is just like any other prey.” All three nodded in agreement.

 The group of intruders had settle down in the old rooms used for those who could be kept in normal rooms, rather than cells. The brothers were now hard at work, making sure everything was in place for tomorrow. Which included setting up the normal kind of traps. You were about to go back up into your bedroom when you noticed one of the men had went wondering. Right to where Sawtooth had set up the body of Porter. Running, you grabbed Sawtooth by the sleeve and pulled him towards the nurses station.  Apparently, you didn’t need to say a word as he understood. The man started to try square up to the body, threatening him until he seemed to recognise the clothes. You and Sawtooth waited in the shadows until the man touched the body and saw the blood. He turned, but Sawtooth was quick and blocked his path. Using a long metal spike, he jammed it up, through the mans nose and out the other side of the head, killing him. You went to help with the body but Sawtooth pushed you back with a grunt. He gestured towards the kitchen, where the other brothers were preparing some weapons. You tried to follow him again but he dropped the body and stood at his full height, a deep growl leaving his chest. You knew better than to push him further, so you backed off.  He dragged the body towards a half open door, using his foot to kick it further open and you watched before disappearing to find the others.   There was a silence between you both, still some kind of argument going on. You found the others in the back office of the kitchen. The chiefs office, which had a couch that you on, pondering everything that’s happened.

---------------time skip --------------

You don’t know when you passed out, sitting on the floor while One Eye and Three Finger worked on some weapons. When you woke the next morning, Three Finger had moved to sit in front of you and you had a blanket over you. He didn’t appear to be doing anything. Just guarding you as you slept. Reaching out, you ran your finger across his shoulder to let him know you were awake. He turned with a smile, instantly kneeling up beside you and nuzzling into your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle at the affection. One Eye came into the room, chucking something on top of a pre-existing pile crap that you recognised as some of the things the group had left in the lounge. You noticed some cables, spark plug wires from the snowmobiles. He beamed when he noticed you were awake. The morning did feel a lot better, and you were actually excited for the thrill of the chase now.   “Wheres Sawtooth?” You asked, sitting up as Three Finger leaned back. He gestured vaguely towards the door, but you understood. Keeping an eye on the others. As if summoned by your words, Sawtooth walked past the room with a body flung over his shoulders. Three Finger got to his feet and left after him, gurgling to himself. One Eye came and sat by your feet as, fiddling with his fingers in an awkward and shy way. You smiled and crawled to his side, cuddling into him. A sigh of relief left his throat as he pulled you close, apparently afraid you might wake up still annoyed. Three Finger ran back into the room, followed by Sawtooth, now holding a small bundle. A soft grunt told you all that it was time. They were exploring and about to find some unsavoury things. Just as you were about to stay, a grunt drew your attention and the thing Sawtooth was holding was tossed at you. It was wrapped in Porters jacket and you could feel it was the head of someone. Porter or the man who found him, you didn’t know yet. But you felt a swell of pride. Whatever Sawtooth had planned, you were apparently getting a role to play. Disappearing out, you all follow quickly and you started to hear running. The group was split up and agitated. Sawtooth lead you to the auditorium, signalling for his brothers to go up stairs and you to hide behind the black curtains that hid the sides of the stage while the screen was down before he followed his brothers. You managed to hide just in time as they started to funnel in. From what you could gather, they knew one guy was missing, they had seen the blood, they knew you were around somewhere and they needed to get out. Just then, one girl ran in screaming “Theyre gonna kill us all.” The drama queen inside you told you now was the perfect time. You threw the jacket covered object out onto the floor in front of them. “That looks like Porters jacket.” One said. “That is Porters jacket.” The other replied. You peaked around the corner, seeing the black haired girl was approaching it with fear. As she unwrapped the package, you noticed the metal, barbed wire noose that was lowering down from the balcony, a blonde haired girl backing closer to it. Looking up, you saw the brothers had made a pully system. Screams of terror filled the room and during the hysteria, the brothers managed to loop the metal around the girls neck and haul her up. The guy she was with tried to stop her, to help her, but he only made it worse. He grabbed her feet and pulled her down, allowing the metal to saw through her neck with ease at the tension. The rest of the group simply screamed, tried to get out the side doors which were locked. The man lost his grip and slipped back into the puddle of blood, screaming just before she was fully decapitated, her body falling either side of him as the group ran for the main exit. He screamed again before tried to get up but slipped on to the blood again and again before running for the exit after his friends. That was entertaining.   Once clear, you left your hiding spot just as the boys came down. You walked to the edge of the stage, in no real hurry as Sawtooth came up. He came up and gently lifted you down, making you giggle and press a kiss to his cheek. You didn’t want this feud to drive a wedge between you both. But you had no idea if he accepted your little ‘truce’. The four of you went back to the kitchen. The group couldn’t go anywhere anyway. They would either freeze to death outside, or come back in and barricade themselves in one of the offices near the front door. You ended up sitting on the counter while Three Finger carved up the headless body. There was a new sense of peace in the group and you felt whatever tension between you and Sawtooth had mostly disappeared. The boys squabbled as always as Sawtooth tried to take a little more than a snack and Three Finger wasn’t having it. If there was something Three Finger prided himself on, it was being able to strip flesh from bone in a clean way, and it didn’t look clean if Sawtooth kept picking at it. You smiled, but never ate anything raw. You didn’t like it, but the brothers did. Suddenly, you heard running, heading for the lower levels. But you saw Three Finger had heard it too. He threw his cleaver into the meat and ran to follow, scooping up an axe on the way. You considered going with him, till One Eye appeared and took the moment to step in front of where you were sitting and kiss you. But he too left, heading towards where the group must have bunkered down. Probably to torment them a little more. Sawtooth walked in as you had just jumped down, feeling a little lonely. He walked up to the body, about to take another piece but you slapped him hand away with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. He knew you were playing, and simply picked you up and moved you away to grab a bite. You huffed indignantly but he carried you into the chiefs office and sat you down with a strict “stay” gesture before he disappeared too. -------------------

You didn’t hear anything again from the boys until screaming filled the kitchen. You felt a surge of dread while disappeared when you looked out and saw they were tying down one of the guys to the table. You felt a shiver run through your spin because you knew what they were going to do. You didn’t like when they stripped flesh off of someone whos alive. You didn’t like the way they screamed during it, but you help nevertheless. You didn’t let anyone cut the potatoes or onion because you were convinced they would chop off their fingers one day. Three Finger heated up the oil and you brought the cutting board with veg over to the group. Placing it down, you felt One Eye grab your hand, silently asking you to stay, but you shook your head, kissing his cheek to show you didn’t have any issues with them though. You disappeared into the chiefs office, content with reading through the recipe books. You sat for a while, flipping through the books while the screams slowly died down. When they finally seemed to stop, you ventured out, smiling as you entered the kitchen with the boys. One Eye went to smile back at you, but apparently was in the middle of biting down and started to choke. You didn’t noticed straight away as you cleared away a couple of things but then you noticed Three Finger and Sawtooth hitting his back. You were about to panic, when one of Three Fingers knocks made him cough up the chunk and it flew across the table into the oil. Three Finger and One Eye started to cackle just as you were about to laugh when suddenly, someone smashed something red across the back of Sawtooths head. The man then went for one Eye but Sawtooth pushed him passed the table as Three Finger managed to back the man off a bit. Until screaming filled the room. It all happened so quickly. The group ran into the room, screaming and brandishing weapons. In all truth, you didn’t originally move. It was Sawtooth who grabbed you and pushed you to move and run. You didn’t get a chance to think as you raced through the hallway only to have one way blocked off with fire. Down into the cells you were all chased before, somehow, you ended falling into a cell at the dead end. not just any cell, though. The Hillikers original cell. The group slammed the door shut, locking you in. Sawtooth stood with his arms held out in front of his brothers, Three Finger to his left and One Eye to hid right. You were positioned directly behind the three of them. “Lets kill them.” Someone walked up the corridor, the girl who had caused the fire. “yeah, Jenna, lets do it.” The shorter girl with black hair agreed. “wait, wait. We cant just kill them.” The taller girl shook her head, looking confused. “Why the fuck not?” The man snapped. “They killed our friends and theyre gonna kill us then fucking eat us.” “Yeah we’re not them.” The tall black haired girl gestured towards the cell. “Fuck that!” The man turned to the cell, shining the torch in. “look at me. Look. At. Me. Fuck you, you mother fuckers. Im gonna cut your heart out, you mother fuckers. You understand that?” “I didn’t know there was a girl.” The girl with the curly black hair spoke, eyeing you up just before Three Finger stepped in front of you, snapping his jaws at them. “Shes fucking them.” The guy suddenly realised, his eyes darting to the brothers who instantly became more protective of you. “What, is she your sister? Freaks!” “No, she doesn’t look like them.” Another said. “I saw her file. Well, Daniel showed me. She was just dump here by her parents. They, they bonded or something. I dunno. But the file said never leave them all together.” “We aren’t opening that cell again, Sara!” The girl who was with ‘Sara’ shook her head, backing away from the cell. “No, youre right, Bridget.” The man gritted his teeth, turning to the girl with the yellow top. “Go get the other kerosene lantern. We’re gonna roast these fuckers alive.” You felt a new wave of fear run through your veins as the girl took off running. The girl who had spoke out against the idea looked deeply troubled as the man, who was still covered in his girlfriends blood, glared into the cell. One Eye glanced to you, and you could see he was worried. You all were. When she came back, the man started to dump the oil from the lantern through the cell door and onto the floor. All three backed away and you ended up pressed against the furthest wall, Three finger stepping closest to you. he finished and then pulled out a lighter. “Time for a barbecue, fuckers.” He growled at you all. You noticed Sara closed her eyes, seeming as if she was against this idea as well. “Kyle. Don’t do this.” The girl, whos name you think is Kenia, says. “They deserve it.” Kyle turns to the group, apparently sensing that it wasn’t a universal agreement. “Yeah they do, but you don’t.” She steps closer. “Don’t do this to yourself. Give me that lighter. Give me the lighter.” After a tense moment, one which you were sure he would throw the lighter down and set the floor on fire, he flicked it close and shoved the lighter back in his pocket. “Well, what are we gonna do now?” Bridget threw her hands up in the air in annoyance. “We find the spark plug wires, and we leave in the morning. Storm or no storm.” Kenia said before turning to the cell and talking to the four of you. “Where are the spark plug wires?” The wires. Theyre in the chiefs office. You had closed over the door, but would they think to look int here? You didn’t know. No one answered her, One Eye flitting to the other side of the cell. “Basards cant even talk.” Kyle rolls his eyes. “Fine, then we search. Room by room.” Kenia thinks quickly. “Okay but somebody has to watch them.” Jenna nods to you. “I will.” Kyle volunteers and you instantly raise an eye brow. It appeared from Kenias expression, she had the same thoughts as yours because he turned to her. “I wont touch a fucking hair on their head. Okay?” “Okay.” “Just go look for the wires. Send someone back in a couple of hours to relieve me. We’ll take shifts throughout the night.” He rattles off his plan, and apparently everyone silently agrees as thye file out of the room, leaving him. “Hey, you?” Kyle spoke directly to One Eye who was circling back to you, but was curious and paused. “Are you hungry?” You felt sick, knowing this was going to be some sick joke. But One Eye was the most trusting of the three brothers as the man offered him something from a packet. Before you could stop him, One Eye went to the bars but the man hit his hand.

“Fuck you, motherfuckers. You thought I was actually gonna feed you?” Three finger let out a cackle as One Eye back away to you. You instantly looked at his hand, making sure of no damage. Sawtooth growled lowly. “You know im actually gonna kill all four of you, don’t you? I will. Im gonna say I forgot something, then im gonna come back and im gonna kill each and every one of you freaks.” “Piss off.” You hissed, looking up at him. “You- you speak.” He shines the touch at you, so you smirk at him. “Right, you speak. Motherfucker. So, why’d you do it? Huh?” “You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” You walk up to the bars, placing your forehead against the cool metal. “Wheres the sparkplug wires?” He raised the flashlight and shone it into your face. You smiled, and with a half-hearted shrug of the shoulders, you retreated from the cell door. “Just sleep tight.” Kyle snaps at you through the bars. All three of the brothers quickly moved in front of you, making you smile softly at them. You felt dread building in your chest as you struggled to think of something. You walked into the corner off the cell, struggling to breath as you felt the walls closing in on you. You needed to hide the panic you felt from the group. But you hadn’t been down this area since the breakout, and for good reason. Closing your eyes, you tried to calm yourself so you could think straight. Someone rubbed your arms reassuringly and you opened your eyes to see Three Finger standing in front of you. You immediately stepped close to him, resting your forehead on his shoulder as you sought intimacy. He offered you it, almost purring when you cuddle into him and his arms wrapped around you. For a while, he stood with you, calming you down. In truth, Three Finger was the best when you were like this. One Eye would get too worked up and start to panic while Sawtooth was the complete opposite and offered you no sympathy for fear of showing weakness. But Three Finger knew to keep you close and even nuzzled against you. You felt the panic in your chest start to ease, and you were able to think straight. Looking up, you smiled gratefully, but despite his own dorky smile back, you could see he was concerned, and probably scared. Pulling back, you were also grateful that he had manged to position himself to stand directly between you and the bars. He blocked your view of the guy who was now guarding you all, so you glanced past him as saw the man had passed out on the floor. If you could only get out. Looking back to Three Finger, you could see the worry in his eyes, and both One Eye and Sawtooth watched on in concern. In a few hours, you would be burned to death, and they were more worried about you having a stupid panic attack. They had always cared for you more than themselves, even back in the old days, before you all escaped. An idea shot into your mind like lightening. the pin! Suddenly, you grabbed Three Finger and yanked him over to the basin. after they had escaped and freed you, you had found the pin on the ground and decided that it needed to stay down in their old cell, just in case the orderlies managed to get everyone back under control. So you had hidden it. Getting down on your hands and knees, you reached under the pipes, your hands just fitting as you felt the cold metal of the pin. Pulling it out, you turned back and offered the pin to Three Finger. You saw his eyes light up at the sight of it, the very tool which had offered you your freedom all those years ago. his eyes trailed up to you, and he grinned wickedly. You felt your stomach backflip as you smiled, your fears long forgotten as he taken the pin from your hands. Sawtooth and One Eye hadn’t seen the exchange, or what you had given Three Finger, so they watched as Three Finger crept to the bars of the cell. You followed but One Eye reached an arm across you. They wanted to keep you to the back to protect you. taking his hand, you watched anxiously as Three Finger reached through the bars and started to pick the lock. Every little creak made your heart skip a beat as you waited for the man to wake up. But then you heard a ping, and held your breath as Three Finger started to slowly pull the cell door open again. Sawtooth was first out, taking long purposely strides to the sleeping man. He grabbed him by the throat, pushing him against the wall as he dragged him up to eye height. The fear in the mans eyes was undeniable as he realised how badly he had fucked up. Sawtooth raised his fist and with one sharp jab, the man was knocked out. Three Finger cackled menacingly as Sawtooth picked him back and threw him over his shoulder, leading the way out. You all followed, knowing there was no point hanging around here in case they did find the plug and came back to get their friend. Up, through the corridors you went till you came to the kitchen. Three Finger quickly checked around while you made sure the spark plugs were still where one eye had left them. They were. That was lucky. You came out and saw the had laid the guy on one of the tables, about to kill him. “Wait.” You grabbed Three Fingers hand, stopping him from killing the man. “Cut his tongue out.” The boys looked at you, utterly perplexed. You were normally the more docile of the four, wanting someone to have a quick death rather than long and drawn out. “Cut out his tongue and swap your clothes with him.” You looked pointed at Three Finger as you took the knife and made quick work of the last two fingers on the mans hand. Three Finger, not wanting to upset you again, followed your instructions, swapping his clothes as One Eye cut out the mans tongue. you grabbed a bag and cut eye holes in it before pulled it over his head, tying it there just as Three Finger strapped his gloves on the man. Once he was ready, you got them to help you get the man up to the floor with the girls. Leaning him against the wall, you shook him until you felt him start to move of his own accord. Giving him a rough shove in the direction of the room the girls were held up in, you let him stagger to his feet and he quickly began to stumble away, dazed, confused and in pain. the brothers went to go after him but you held out a hand, stopping them. You watched the man turn right at the end of the hall way. You kept your arm up, and they didn’t cross you. You didn’t need to wait long. You heard the girl battle cry’s as he hobble just into sight before he was bought to the ground by the girls. They had mistaken their friend for Three Finger and now, they were screaming as they stabbed him mercilessly in the back. Poor bastard. you felt Sawtooth push against you, asking to go after them, but you refused. They needed to know what they had done. You needed to break them. Three Finger let out a shrill cackle and their attention snapped up to you. With a smirk, you dropped your arm, and the three brothers stepped forward. The girls scrambled to their feet and fled back to their safe place. You expected the boys to go after them, but Sawtooth stopped, looking back to you. You felt a wave of excitement, knowing what this meant. You were coming along. racing to his side, you beamed at him. You expected him to continue and lead his brothers as he always did, but instead he surprised you. Ducking down, he kissed you. You were taken aback. Sawtooth didn’t kiss. he let you kiss him, but it didn’t seem to mean as much as it did to the others. A kiss was a form of affection he wasn’t fond of, mainly because he could easily tear up your lips if he wasn’t carful. He learned that when you were both young and exploring each other. And yet, he kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, locking him in place as you quickly returned the kiss hungrily. Strong arms lifted you up off the ground as if you were as light as a doll. You felt him wrap and arm around your lower back and the other about mid-thigh, holding you tight against his body. Sniggering brought you both out of the moment as his brothers fought to keep their laughter back. Not out of cruelty, but they enjoyed that despite the stone faced brothers approached, he was as much under your spell as they were. He was as much yours as you were his. Giggling, you jumped up slightly to press a kiss to his cheek while the other two headed down the corridor. Something caught his eye in the next room. Before you could ask, Sawtooth went inside and came out with an ice drill. Three Finger cackled, jumping up and down at the new toy. You smirked at Sawtooth, knowing full well that at least one of the girls will meet a painful end at the hands of such a weapon. You stepped aside, bowing comically as you let Sawtooth walk past you and his brothers to lead the next attack. Rounding a corner, Sawtooth heard the running footsteps and the ice drill roared to life, followed by screaming as the girls skidded to run in the opposite direction. they ran for the front door, which had been chained shut during the day. More shrieks as they realised and had to double back on themselves. Suddenly, Sawtooth stopped. He turned to you, giving a single nod towards where the girls were. You understood. Follow them. Darting in front, you ran with silent feet and sensitive hearing. They were heading upstairs, to the attic. You followed them as they ended up stumbling into the room the guys slept in. Your bedroom was in a hidden door off to the side which was locked. And you were thankful. You didn’t want them rummaging through your stuff. The girls found some of the older clothes, pulling them on to keep warm if/when they got outside. This changed the game again. Because now you couldn’t rely on them freezing to death in the current climate. You had to get them before they left the grounds. You kept to the shadows as the girls ran back out the room, through the attic and back down the stairs, towards the east wing. You didn’t follow them the whole way, instead following the drill sound to find the guys. “They went upstairs and found jackets. They’re prepared for going outside.” You ran up, tell the brothers the new information. Sawtooth huffed as you noticed they had pulled on some of their own thick jackets. The ones they had been wearing the night before, so had probably left somewhere in the kitchen area when they came back. One Eye held out your own, which you had kept by the back entrance. Grinning, you kissed his cheek before pulling it on and guided them towards the west wing. One Eye ran ahead to open a door with his shoulder, but it didn’t budge. He rattled the release handle a few times with little avail. “They’ve blocked it.” You mumble, running forward and looking through the window. You couldn’t see anything in the way of the door, so you looked through the small crack between the two door. You saw a thick object connecting the doors. “They’ve jammed something through the handle.” You call over your shoulder to the others. Suddenly, you heard running and just manage to jump out the way as Three Finger’s body collides with the door, falling to the ground. You press your lips together in a harsh line to stop yourself from laughing as you and One Eye look at each other. His amusement did nothing to help your attempts, so you had to raise your hands over your mouth before hearing grunting from Sawtooth. This wasn’t the time for jokes, even if his eyes did betray that he found it rather comical as well. One Eye tried the same body slam, but managed to catch himself without falling. Nothing seemed to budge the door. There was little point in you trying, so you stood to the side as some kind of strange cheerleader. That was, until, Sawtooth walked up to the door. He looked through the window, before walking back and passing the drill to One Eye. He gave himself much more of a run up to the door, and as his mass collided with the door, your noticed it gave a lot more that the previous attempts. And there was a cracking sound. “Its working.” You run up, pushing on the door and seeing it was now moving if only by an inch or so. You stepped back, looking to Sawtooth as he lined himself up again. A second, and third time but it was the fourth that he broke through the door. Three Finger let out a triumphant cackle as the brothers raced through the door, followed by you. Sawtooth took the drill back as they looked in each room, only to find one girl half was out through a burrow in the snow. She ended up crawling back, wiping snow off her face. She didn’t even notice Sawtooth coming up behind her. She didn’t know until the drill was protruding through her stomach as he mangled her insides. The blood sprayed out, only for you to notice one of the girls had climbed back down to try help her. She was pulled back up in a heartbeat before anything could be done. The drill was turned off and the body fell to the floor, lifeless. The brothers, their eyes fixed on the hole, knew where the girls had gone. Three Finger nudged Sawtooth, making a fist with his right hand and mimicking the revving of a motorbike. Sawtooth smirked and nodded as he left the room, you all in tow. “Ill go get the spark plug wires.” You call out, running past the others, knowing it was quicker you going to get them. You ran and grabbed the sparkplug wires before meeting the boys at the door. They now had more weapons, each holding one. Following them outside to the snowmobiles, you handed each of them a plug for each machine except one. You didn’t know how to even begin to wire one up or even drive one. They boys seemed to have a knack at this kind of stuff. “Once this is over, you have to show me how to drive one of these.” You nod to the dormant snowmobile, looking to Sawtooth, who paused for a moment before giving a single nod. Smiling widely, you watched three Finger as he worked. They wired up the machines before revving them to life. Stepping back, you were reluctant to go back inside when you heard Three Finger cackle. You looked at him and he nodded his head to the back of his. you paused, your heart skipping a beat as you prayed you understood him. Glancing to Sawtooth, he gave a single nod and revved the engine, an indicator to hurry up. Smiling, you ran over and swung your leg over the back of Three Fingers snowmobile, locking your arms around his torso. He glanced back at you, making sure you were ready before the other speed off. You cuddled into his back, grinning as the adrenaline from the ride set in. you loved how fast these things could go. They would be a great addition for the days of boredom. Sawtooth followed the girls tracks in the snow, and it didn’t take long to catch up. They circled the girls, getting them worked up. They screamed and cried out, but then Sawtooth signalled for the other to back off. Retreating back, you stood up on the back of the snowmobile to watch what would happen with the shadows in the distance. They couldn’t see you guys, but because they were in the open, you could just make out them. “Theyre splitting up.” You call out, knowing it was best to attack now. Going in for another attack, Three Finger managed to swing and injure one of the girls while Sawtooth grabbed another. You looked up, seeing the girl was struggling too much and started jabbing something into Sawtooths arm. He dropped her, but neglected to notice the incoming low branch. It knocked him right off his snowmobile. One Eye was right behind him, capturing the girl. You and Three Finger went to check on Sawtooth, who stumbled up with a grumble. He fobbed off your calls of concern, rubbing his head before trekking to get his snowmobile. You knew better than to try fuss over him like this. He would just push you away anyways. You would make sure to check him over once his ego isn’t as bruised. Hearing screaming, you look up and see One Eye had got the girl. Getting off Three fingers, you raced over to see what One Eye was doing. Three Finger sped off, in search of another victim. You saw the blood coming out the end of the bike as he looked up at you, waiting for something. “Well done. That’s really inventive.” You smile as the girls scream become weaker then stop entirely when the snowmobile dropped. One Eye beams at you before looking away shyly. Walking through the snow, you reach up and guide his face towards your own before kissing him, deeply. He melt against your kiss, whining slightly as he reached up, cupping your cheek. You were interrupted when you heard a female voice crying out. Heads snapping to the side, you saw one girl running through the snow. One Eye cut a rope on the back before scooped you up and put you on the back of his snowmobile, revving it and racing away. You wrapped your arms around his torso, holding on tightly.

 ------------time skip -------------

 You awoke, well rested and refreshed. Trudging through the hallways, you couldn’t help but feel happy and content. Three Finger appeared, grinning as he grabbed your hand and started to drag you to the front door, where you saw the truck was now out front. Along with a sulking One Eye. Frowning, you notice the bruising starting to appear on his left eye. Racing out the front door, without a jacket, you were in front of him before he knew it, cupping his cheek and looking at the injury. One Eye smiled, ducking his head a little out of embarrassment. He must have gotten hurt chasing the girls when you and Three Finger had come home last night, after you had rode for a bit with Sawtooth of course. Speaking of which, Sawtooth grunted, signalling to the truck as he climbed on the back with the crane part. One Eye stole a quick kiss before you all headed to the truck.  You took pride of place in the front beside Three Finger, which was already nice and warm. You didn’t know where you were driving to, but Three Finger apparently did as, after about 10 minutes, he pulled up beside a bank of snow. Looking out, you saw two bodies, decapitated. They hadn’t got away. Stepping out the truck, you climbed up on the rear wheel to see the brothers in the back of the truck while Three Finger retrieved the heads of the bodies. They didn’t even see the two snowballs you had in your hand until Three Finger had thrown the heads and bodies in the back and got back into the cab. You took the opportunity to hurl the snow at both One Eye and Sawtooth before diving back into the cab and locked the doors. Three Finger cackled as Sawtooth banged on the rear window. You smiled innocently at him, but you felt the sudden dread that you would soon have to get out the cab. “I don’t think I’ll be getting those lessons today.” You giggled as you glanced out the rear window. Three Finger cackled before driving away. You slipped closer to him, cuddling into his side as he drove.

#Wrong Turn #wrong turn x reader #wrong turn 4 #sawtooth #sawtooth x reader #Three Finger #three finger x reader #one eye #one eye x reader

[bellamygateoldblog]

So, I read a lot of your personal posts and I'm just really curious about you. You seem very stressed out and tired all the time. Are you a college student? Are you just in a financial situation that necessitates that you work all the time? I just feel bad because It seems that you do not absorb joy very much. Like, I have seen that you recently started watching that show The 100. You seem very pissed off about it and yet keep watching it? You confuse and intrigue me. Explain?

"it seems that you do not absorb joy very much" has been playing on my mind ever since i read this. It hit something close to my heart.

I know i’m not obligated to explain anything and i don’t tend to put my life online (i don’t have any social media, so that should give you an idea of how secretive i usually am) but i literally stayed awake for 30 hours straight before sleeping for 15 hours straight and of course i don’t feel very well after that lol. I feel like i need to talk through some things that i’ve been keeping to myself for a long time. Get it out of my head, stop carrying it around, maybe gain some control over it.

I never intend to make anyone feel bad though, but i don’t have anyone to talk to so i guess i sometimes make those posts as a substitute for someone listening. Or for me being pissed about the 100, i think that’s my mood translating into what i end up posting in general.

Anyways this is A Lot. I obviously don’t mind if you read it. Advice would be nice, if anyone has any.

I’m a 2nd year university student. Due to severe mental illness (often making me physically sick and exhausted) these last 2 years have been extremely difficult so that's left me in a very intense situation essentially just trying to ensure i pass the year. That means handing in all the assignments i deferred basically all at the same time, after not attending the year at all. Like no lectures, no workshops, no lessons, nothing past the first month of semester 1. It's really not an ideal situation and my condition isn't improving the way i thought it would (you know when you think ‘this is the worst it can possibly get’ and then it gets worse?), and i can't focus. I’m resourceful and naturally decently smart, so i’m able to still pass a year of uni without...going. I’ve become less capable over time but because of other life experience i don’t place value on academic excellence anymore and because of covid there is a benchmark anyway, where my grade can’t drop below a 2:2, so basically i’m good as long as i don’t recieve a fail grade on anything. But that being said it’s still really hard to get things done anyway despite this? especially with depression and concentration issues, because uni in general just makes me really unhappy and disrupts my entire life, and i’d rather do literally anything else.

I can’t function whenever thinking about school in general. If im stressed about something i can’t think about anything else and it ends up seeping into other things im doing.

I have a really clear idea of what i want for the next step in my life and university is the only route available to get to so that’s why i’m still going through all of this when i could technically just ‘stop’. I’ve explored other ideas already and it appears even more stressful and complicated to make a huge change now. Even though i know 3rd year will be harder (which is also a source of stress, anxiety over what’s to come when im already struggling...).

I've been talking to my uni the whole time and while they've been understanding and accommodating (psychology department...like...they Know lol), there's only so much they can do to help me. Everyone i’ve spoken to is genuienly amazed i am where i am, but imo my resilience is bourne out of pure spite not to let my life fall apart along with myself LMAO. I have one assignment deadline left which is tomorrow. It’s the hardest one yet, i haven’t started and i’m filled with dread, and i’m so burned out i have no idea how i’m going to get it done.

To give some context about the whole ‘i can’t help myself when i’m under stress’ thing: I’m a really feminine girl. I have health and beauty routines that i like to stick to, but i can’t stick to them right now so i don’t feel like myself. There is nothing more to my life than stress and depression. I’m pretty sure i experienced dissociation for a few days last week. It was like i didn’t exist.

Just so happens that when i thought i could finally have a break from the extreme stress there are exams coming up on the 11th, which my uni has for some reason decided to make harder!?!? And i need to tell you that because it’s been bugging me ever since i recieved the email. They've completely changed the exams from being 1 hour long multiple choice tests (multiple choice is so easy smh) to basically a group of short answer questions we have 24 hours (each!) to write and submit and it’s seeming like i’ve got another 5 assignments to do after already writing 7 in the past month. It’s open book while the January exams were closed but it still seems to me like the students who didn’t defer (who did the exams back in January) got an unfair advantage over those of us taking them now due to our own circumstances. So I’m confused and upset about that, and about the thought that i probably won’t even get a break before 3rd year begins.

My living situation doesn’t make it better. It’s a really negative and emotionally draining space for me to be in. Just adding to my being drawn to negativity, and my own sensitivity. And covid has made everything that much more complicated, with everything changing and being closed etc. I’m completely alone btw, there is no one i can lean on.

As for the 100, that’s really tricky. I actually stopped “watching” it last year and now mostly consume it through fandom tumblr. I'm just not in the right headspace to sit alone and watch such a heavy show (clearly LMAO). But I’m so comfortable in this circle of fandom & love my mutuals, so i stay. I am actually liking a lot about the final season, like they’re delivering everything i wanted them to lol, but it’s so flawed and easy to complain about when you have a predisposition to be a Negative Nancy all the time so here we are.

I think i don’t really talk so extensively about shows I really love because i feel like i don’t have anything substancial to say about them besides ‘i love it’? Like i just sit there and happily watch and the farthest i go is commenting gibberish love confessions in the tags of a gifset i reblog. So most of my posts end up being me being petty or something. I do want to focus more on shows i love but like i said...it’s so hard for me sometimes to be all-positive and pretend i’m not completely crushed?

I really just want to not be so stressed and exhausted all the time. I want to do something besides worry about and/or do work. I’d love to clean my space & take a shower & read a book without a nagging anxiety in the back of my head. But i have to wait it out, and then wait it out, and continue waiting it out because it feels like things are going to be this way forever or get even worse.

I’ve had a lot of good luck lately though, and i don’t know what your beliefs are but i think someone is watching over me.

[randomguywithwords]

As The Dust Settles: Chapter 17 (Dabi X fem!Geten Slowburn)

Chapter 17: A Frozen Heart

AO3 Link: Here

Previous Chapters: 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Long chapter ahead btw. 2.8k.

–––––––––

For fifteen minutes, Dabi watched the broken, unconscious form of Geten breathe, every inhalation causing a shudder to ripple through her body. Every time she made a hacking cough, blood spurted from her mouth, making his fists clench tighter and his teeth grind against one another with building rage. Ten minutes in, he reduced Takame’s corpse to ashes to vent some feelings. 

That was all he could do. He couldn’t move her because of all the broken bones and fractures. The one thing he could was to shift her head an inch, to ensure she didn’t choke on her blood. 

All he could do was wait. The throbbing pain in his arms from blocking that hit was nothing compared to the pain in his chest at seeing her on the verge of death, enduring a merciless pummel that she didn’t deserve. 

He felt like every breath he took injected him with even more fury that he wanted to scream, to let the world know he wanted to burn it all. 

Stupid girl. Why can’t you see that you never belonged to the MLA? Why are you getting yourself killed for them? 

Geten shuddered as she coughed out more blood that stained the rusty containers’ surface. Dabi tore his eyes away. You could have stopped Takame before he went after her. You’re weak.

Wasn’t my fault I got sent on this damn assignment, he argued on instinct.

He paused, feeling his conviction disappear upon seeing Geten’s state. He ignited his arm, feeling the fiery torture wrack his already fractured limb. It didn’t expunge the guilt, but he liked to think that it could, somehow. 

Did Shigaraki know, sending two people whose quirks don’t work well against him? 

He was confronting Shigaraki when they got back, that was for sure. But for now, his attention was drawn to her. 

Is her breathing slowing? Shit. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling helpless, so utterly helpless. C’mon, girl, don’t die on me. Please. 

When he opened them, he saw two figures rushing towards them. He recognised one of them as the soldier who had welcomed them at the airport. 

“Help her first, I’m good.” He said as he extinguished his punishment. The two of them nodded. One of them stepped forward to lay a hand on Geten.

Dabi slapped it away with a glare. “Are you an idiot? She’s in no state to be carried.”

The soldier gave a patient smile. “I’m not moving her. My special ability can teleport people to a nearby location I’m familiar with by being in physical contact. We’re bringing the both of you back to the airport where Compress will take you back to Deika.” 

“Ah,” Dabi said, leaning back, “My bad.”

With one hand each, the soldier touched each of their shoulders, while the other companion laid a hand on him. The teleporter closed his eyes.

In the next few seconds, Dabi felt a light tugging sensation, definitely smoother than the gunky horridness that was the Doctor’s method. The next moment, he found himself back at the airport on solid ground. 

“Keep her spine in line,” Dabi ordered, and the two obeyed, gingerly holding Geten in place. “How long till Compress gets here?”

“ETA ten minutes,” The teleporter announced. Dabi swallowed – If he doesn’t get here on time...

The night was quiet and of a cool temperature, but Dabi was still sweating, and the serenity of this scene was destroyed by the haggard breaths Geten was drawing. He kept looking at the sky, trying to spot a black dot in the darkness. When a seeming eternity had passed feeling more anxious by the minute, he saw it, illuminated by red lights. 

He heard the whirring sounds of the chopper as it closed in and landed. Dabi spotted the familiar orange-brown coat and the black hat of Atsuhiro Sako, and a painful smile of relief tugged at his lip. 

One thing Dabi liked about Compress was that despite his showman persona, he didn’t mince words, or speak when there was no need to. Sako raced out of the aircraft, compressed Geten and pocketed her. 

“You need me to do you, too?” Sako asked him. 

Dabi shook his head. “Let’s go. Thanks, you two.” He acknowledged the soldiers, who bowed in return and left. The two Lieutenants climbed into the helicopter and the pilot lifted off. 

“No headsets? I’m not going deaf here,” Dabi shouted over the whirring. 

“Chill, the pilot has a noise-cancelling quirk. He’ll activate it soon.” As Compress said this, the ruckus disappeared, as if they were back on the jet. Another pang of hurt poked at Dabi, thinking about his nonchalance at the start of the mission.

“You look like hell.” Compress noted Dabi’s arms and the dust and grime on his coat. 

“Yeah. Assignment was harder than we thought.”

“I presumed much. Who was it?”

“One of the advisors in my regiment, and his daughter.”

Dabi heard the surprise in Sako’s tone. “Oh, Skeptic’s gonna go mental. Not that he already isn’t.”

That got a chuckle out of Dabi, but it died as he thought about the damage Takame had done. 

“But you guys finished the mission, right?” Compress asked. 

Looking out the window at the night sky, he muttered, “Yeah.”

“You didn’t throw her under the bus, did you?” 

Dabi’s head flicked back to face Compress. “What the hell, no! Why would I?”

The performer raised his arms to placate his anger. “Sorry, last time you talked about her, you were ready to kill her or whatever’s in your head. You mean to say that you guys are on good terms now?”

Dabi sighed. “I just don’t hate her. And I have no reason to let her die. Shigaraki wouldn’t be happy.” He added as an afterthought. 

He gave a tiny sigh. “Well, I’m sure you have a thrilling story of how you two managed to get to this state.” 

“We definitely do,” Dabi said dryly. 

“Tell us all about it tomorrow. Go get some sleep tonight. The doctor has a cell activation quirk, he’ll fix you up first, then her.” 

“No, get her first. I’ll wait.” 

“Fine,” Compress relented after seeing the adamant expression on Dabi’s face. “You’re really...concerned for her. It’s weird.” 

Dabi replied with a yawn.

––––––

The doctor flipped through his clipboard. “Multiple fractures on her arms, five broken ribs, dislocated jaw and she suffered a skull fracture.”

“But you fixed all of it...right?” There was an undertone of a “You better have.” that the doctor understood, given the reassuring smile he wore at Dabi’s question. He was getting sick of people trying to calm him down with smiles, like that would help.

“I used my ability as best as I could, and it fixed most of it, but I only sped up the recovery of the cell reparations. We’ll be providing iron and calcium supplements to help her along, but she’ll be bedridden for the next few days.” 

“Any permanent damage?” 

“As long as she gets enough rest and doesn’t exert herself, she’ll be fine and back to normal in a few weeks.”

Dabi exhaled. “Alright. Thanks doc.” 

Dr Shimano nodded and left the room. Dabi looked at Geten, whose chest rose and fell at a stable pace as she slept, no longer shaking, a significant improvement from just an hour ago. 

“Sorry Geten,” He said. “I fucked up.” 

As the words left his mouth, he took a second to realise what he had just said. He blinked. When did I start caring so much? 

The air-conditioned room and the leather chair he was seated on let the remaining surges of adrenaline fade out, to be replaced by an ice-cold fist of realisation – The events that had transpired in the last couple of hours punched him in the face. 

He had not left her side once the entire time. 

You’re really...concerned for her.

He got out of his seat, staggering upon registering Mr Compress’ words from earlier with clarity, similar to receiving a fiery touch on his skin. What the hell? 

He glanced back at Geten sleeping, then he left the room with extended paces. I should get back to my room. Yeah, that’s a good idea. He pushed all thoughts of the girl out of his mind, focusing on the inevitable debrief from him the next council meeting, since she couldn’t –

He swore under his breath. Stop thinking about her. These thoughts, feelings, whatever they were. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was unnatural. Foreign. Probably dangerous. 

––––––––

The next morning’s meeting convened, in the absence of Lieutenant Apocrypha, with Dabi’s debrief of the mission. 

“Alright, Dabi, care to explain what happened?” Shigaraki drummed his fingers on the table.

Dabi stood up, wearing his trademark lazy expression, though he was actually fatigued. “So our target turned out to be a Mihara Takame, daughter of Shingu Takame, who was an advisor to Violet Regiment.” 

He noted the widened eyes of the old MLA executives. Hanabata’s gaze flickered between the desk and him. And was that a bead of sweat rolling down Skeptic’s forehead? It might have been his imagination.

“What?” Re-destro gaped, then turned to Shigaraki. “Grand Commander, I apologise deeply for this treachery. I had no idea —“ 

Shigaraki waved his hand. “Never mind about that first. Continue.”

“We got into a fight, which turned out bad for Apocrypha, who took most of the damage, but I managed to finish the assignment.” 

“Yeah, that’s the part I wanna know.” Shigaraki leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “Why did you guys end up taking the beating you did?” 

“Takame’s quirk was a shitty matchup against mine and hers. He just wouldn’t feel any pain. Impossible to incapacitate him.”

“And Apocrypha’s ice did nothing?” 

“No, it didn’t hinder him much.” 

“Then how did you kill both of them?” 

“I took out the woman first.” Dabi mimed twisting a neck. “For her old man, I concentrated my flames onto his head. Carbonized it. He probably died from brain failure or something.”

“Ah, copying Endeavour now, eh?” A small grin made Dabi bristle, though he concealed it. 

He shrugged. “What can I say? He’s got decent moves to copy, and I have the firepower to match his. Speaking of which, you might want to send a team to dispose of the body. I didn’t burn up the girl, only Takame.” 

Shigaraki frowned. “Why don’t you do it?” 

“Excuse me?” The coldness in the room spiked as the two stared at each other with venom. 

“I don’t know why you could cremate the larger-sized adult male but not the small girl. Go fix your mess.” 

“You’re really going to send me all the way back just to burn one more corpse?” 

“Yep.” Shigaraki’s eyes were still fixated on him, as though daring him to act out. What do you want? Something about the way his leader questioned him was off. Hell, he was never so interested in these small problems that cropped up. Dabi had talked to Twice before the meeting. According to him, a small riot broke out in the town centre over Shigaraki’s leadership, and the latter didn’t seem to care. 

Did you send the hit squad on us? Dabi’s eyes swept the room. Hanabata and Skeptic’s faces were whiter than normal, but that was because Takame was on their list that Apocrypha freaked out so much about, right? 

Dabi was about to argue further, but decided against it. He needed answers, and he doubted anyone in the room would offer anything worthwhile. Maybe going back would be helpful. 

He spun around and walked towards the door. “Fine. I’ll get to it now. Prep the jet, Skeptic.”

Without waiting for an answer, or for Shigaraki to stop him, he left the room, slamming the door behind him with a growl. He had to admit, though, that the solitude and this menial task given to him allowed him time to think about everything that had happened last night, and he kept coming back to the one name.

Mesa. 

That was all he got from the thug. A name that he couldn’t even be sure was real. Dabi was somewhat confident it was a legitimate answer: the thug was terrified of dying, especially after Dabi used his partner as a demonstration. 

When one was about to die, truths became more apparent. They stopped lying and told the truth, whether one was on their deathbed or backed up against an alley. 

Sensei had done the same thing. 

Dabi frowned, and quickened his pace. Which reminded him...that factory, it looks similar to the one that night. Guess I’ll look around there too. 

He emerged from the underground tunnel to the airport, a convenient distance from the mansion. And his face blanched. Why the fuck is she here? 

Geten was talking with the pilot, her posture bent, and Dabi didn’t need a doctor to tell him she was still injured. 

He marched up to her and waved off the pilot. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m going back.” She said, her face tight with pain. Or defiance. One worried him, the other annoyed. 

“No, you’re not. You’re still fucked up, you’re going back to the hospital.” He pointed away from the helicopter beside both of them, which reminded him of a parent sending a kid to their room. 

And just like the kid, she was acting like a brat. “I need to go back. Please. How did you even know I was here?” 

“I didn’t.”

“So you’re going back to Tokugawa?” 

Dabi bit back a retort. “No,” he tried. 

Her eyes narrowed. “If you’re going, I’m going.” 

Dabi envied Sako for the issues he could solve with his quirk with one tap. He stretched his sigh out. “Alright. Fine. One condition.” 

“What?” 

“Go take a shower and change out of this. You look and smell like shit.” 

Geten seemed to be in no mood to shoot a returning insult. She nodded. 

–––––––––

The two took a helicopter ride, which Dabi figured was Skeptic’s way of flipping him off — he was in the mood for another private jet ride, at least up till Geten showed up. 

Along the way, Dabi explained what had happened while she was unconscious or hospitalised. She nodded, rather numbly, to everything. He felt like pressing her on why wanted to come along, but she looked to be in such a somber mood Dabi kept quiet once he was done. 

“Thank you,” Geten said, which caught Dabi off-guard. 

He stared at her. “Huh?” 

But she lapsed back into silence. 

Takame’s words really affected her, huh? He got the gist of it: Takame was pissed off. Dabi was too focused on finishing the job, and the concussion dulled his senses, even as he crept up to the both of them. He didn’t hear everything Takame said, but enough of it. 

He still had no idea what she was doing here. Guess he would find out. 

They touched down a while later, took another motorbike ride, also in silence, to the factory. When they got off, there was a rush in her step, as though in anxiety, to reach the site of their Pyrrhic victory. Although, Dabi managed to keep pace with her. 

Mihara’s body was still there, and the imprint of Shingu was visible on the stone ground. Geten took out some ice from her pocket and used them to shut her wide eyes, then adjust her broken neck. She looked like she was sleeping. 

Next, she fashioned her ice into a platform which carried the young woman. Dabi quietly watched all this unfold, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was doing. 

Then Geten walked towards the nearby forest. Taking out more ice, she formed a wide, curved object, which she used to shovel dirt. 

Oh, so that’s what she’s doing. 

As if in a trance-like state, he picked up some sticks off the ground, lit the tip of them and passed three to Geten, who had laid Mihara’s body in the grave and filled it with dirt. 

She looked at the makeshift joss sticks, then at him, and gave a quivering smile. She knelt down to place them on top of the grave. 

As she tried to stand up, she stumbled a bit with a wince of pain. Dabi grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “Hey. Don’t stress yourself.” 

Her footing is off, he noted that, as well as her constant flinching. Her ribs were probably still hurting. 

He sighed and muttered, “You – You can lean on me. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.” 

“I’m fine,” She said with less believability than a hero’s promise. But she did, after a pause, rest her head on his shoulder, as the two stared at the blue flame that slowly died, its bright azure radiance leaving small spots in their eyes. 

“Why’s it seem like you trust me all of a sudden?” Dabi had to ask. 

After a moment of silence, Geten mumbled, “I think...I think I just do. You’re not the worst.” 

That’s a first. 

“So why’d you bury her?” 

“Because…” She looked at her hands. “They didn’t deserve it. It’s weird, isn’t it? I got beat up so much by them, but I’m still respecting her.”

“No, it’s not weird. It means…” Dabi considered his next few words. “It means your heart isn’t cold.” 

––––––––

Nice chapter to write, though very long. I realised I had a lot to say so this is sorta still part of this arc, but I’m starting to transition to the next. And now writing these two just became a lot harder, given the change in character. 

So if you guys have any feedback on whether I’m too OOC on them, given what’s happened to them, do let me know. I’d appreciate it. I’m especially worried about my portrayal of Dabi this chapter, whether he’s acting too nice (for his character) too abruptly. 

I’ll have to do a long re-read of the whole story after a while to reboot and see whether their character progression is plausible. 

Nevertheless I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. 

And also yeah we’re starting to get into some Dabiten stuff. Should be fun, and hard to write. 

#bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha fanfic #bnha fanfic #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #dabi #bnha dabi #mha dabi #geten #bnha geten #mha geten #getenloveweek2020 #dabiten #getenxdabi #dabixgeten #geten x dabi #dabi x geten #ATDS

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: sorry? it had to happen. its not that bad yea?

btw, i forgot to add a request that i filled last chapter so i just added the screenshot to the last chapter. so to whoever requested them to look at old pictures together, obviously it was in chapter 39 and it was for you :)

oh and no request for this chapter, probably next one! :(

Chapter 40 : His chapter

NIALL

I was surprised to see her already awake when my alarm rang in the morning but I understood exactly why when I finally sat in bed after everything was ready. She was shaking one of her legs, looking nervously around the room and although I felt a bit bad for her, the whole scene was a bit funny too.

"Darling, come here."

Her eyes finally met mine and I sent her a smile, raising my eyebrows to incite her to get closer. She finally took the few steps that separated us and I pulled her between my legs, slipping my hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she looked down at me. She stared in my eyes and sighed and my gaze dropped to her lips when she licked them.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked in a low tone, tilting my chin up to look at her better.

"You've got all the money in the world, you could at least offer me a bit more I mean, a penny?"

Her lips curled and it made me laugh as I pulled her closer. Her hands slipped in my hair  and I let out a low sigh.

"I know it's not easy, and i'm gonna miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day." I let out, making her roll her eyes with a small smile. "But hey, we'll facetime every night and i'll text you and send you pictures... okay?"

Slowly, she nodded and tilted her head as her hair fell around our faces, hiding us from the world. I was torn between being excited and happy for the trip or sad and nervous about leaving her behind and somehow, all these emotions made a weird mix, forming a lump in my throat.

"Do you promise..." she started so low I barely heard, letting her fingers brush down my cheek, jaw and neck before grabbing the collar of my shirt. "...to be faithful to me?"

I hadn't expected the question and I moved my upper body back a bit to see her better as my eyebrows raised. I could hear my heartbeats accelerate but I wasn't sure why. Was I hurt by her question, or did it make me mad that she could think that of me?

"I.. hate this question, but i'm gonna answer anyway." Her eyes finally met mine and I could read in them that she felt bad for asking, but that it was stronger than her. I felt my body relax a bit and sighed. "I promise. You're the only one for me, and i'm not going to cheat on you. Physically or emotionally."

Her lips curled more and it made me smile too. I tried to tell myself that she was insecure and that it's why she needed to hear these things a lot, but I couldn't help the feeling of annoyance creeping inside my stomach. i tried to ignore it, if only because I wanted our last moments together to be happy, and shrugged my shoulders slightly.

"Are you coming with me to the airport?"

Her eyes dropped to her hands now both playing with the collar of my shirt and she started nibbling her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable, sad, and slightly embarrassed but the first thing I ended up thinking as i looked at her was how much I loved her.

"I'd rather not." she finally admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "I know i'd be emotional and I don,t want to cry in front of everyone and your fans and paps if they end up being there. And I don't want to drive back home by myself, I know i'll be crying the whole time."

I waited for her eyes to finally meet mine but it didn't happen.

"Hey." I let out gently. "I understand."

Her gaze finally moved up to meet mine and she mouthed a 'thank you'. I had the feeling she was on the verge of tears and I finally got up, keeping my arms around her and bending down to kiss her lips.

"How long do we have left?" she asked in a whisper, her lips brushing against mine.

"Like, 15 minutes." I let out low too, walking slowly her way and forcing her to take a few steps back until her back leaned on the wall. "They're about to pick me up."

"And you've got everything ready?" she asked, tilting her chin up to send me a cheeky smile.

I smirked back and chuckled, bringing both of my hands to the button of her jeans while still staring in her eyes.

"Almost." I joked, bringing my lips back on hers to kiss her deeply as I moved her pants down.

She whimpered low against my lips and squirmed a bit, finally taking her jeans and panties off and pushing them away with one of her feet. I laughed against her mouth as she pulled on my shorts too, leaving them right under my ass and when she took my cock out, I groaned low, my lips leaving hers. I leaned my forehead against hers and stared at her as I grabbed one of her thighs to place it around my waist.

"13 minutes." she joked, making me smile again. "Please do it."

I felt the tip of my dick press against her pussy and I watched her lick her fingers and bring her hand between us. Quickly, she rubbed herself and grabbed my dick, jerking me off slowly with her wet hand and I felt my eyes flutter a bit at her touch. It made me realize I was going to miss this more than I thought I would. The sex was good with her and I always wanted more. Being without her for six weeks wasn't going to be easy. She placed two of her fingers on each side of my cock as I pushed it slowly inside her and it felt so good to be inside her again that I let out a moan, pushing her hard against the wall.

"You feel amazing."

My lips found hers and I kissed her gently, feeling her fingers slip softly in my hair. I groaned low in her mouth and when she mentioned '11 minutes' I chuckled through the kiss. I moved my cock out of her very slowly and pushed it back, feeling her body tense a bit but it only took me a few seconds to speed my thrusts, pressing her more against the wall every time. I leaned my forehead against hers again and watched hr lips part as she started panting lowl.

"I love you so fucking much."

I saw her eyes flutter open at my words and her grip tightened in my hair.

"You mean so much to me." I added just as low. "I love you so much, Olivia."

Her lips found mine again and the kiss was so rough that my thrusts became unsteady. She kept her hands in my hair when our lips parted and I felt myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm.

"I love you too Niall." she whimpered very low. "More than anything and anyone."

I felt myself get dizzy and she started moaning and shaking against me. I fucked her harder to reach my own orgasm and when I did, I felt the fingers of one of my hands curl against the wall behind her while the others sunk in the skin of her thigh that was still around my waist.

"Fuck."

I spilled inside her, shutting my eyes tight as her hands slid on my neck and chest, I waited until my heartbeats came back to a normal speed and opened my eyes only to see her smile at me.

"I'm gonna think about this every single night."

My eyes roamed on her face and I smiled fondly at her.

"Me too."

I don't know how long we stared at each other but from seeing her face, I knew that telling her how much I loved her while we were having sex was a good idea. It was not even planned, I just felt it and decided to say it and I never thought the result would be so good. I heard my phone and sighed without moving. It's only when I heard it a second time that I moved away from her. I stared at her half-naked body as I moved my shorts back up and passed my hand in my hair. She quickly put her panties back on and I finally took my shirt off, handing it to her. Her lips curled and she grabbed it, tilting her head as she stared at me.

"I know that's your kind of cheesy." I explained, chuckling a bit. "I hope it doesn't smell too bad."

She brought it to her face and smiled, shaking her head.

"I sort of kept your hoodie from last night, too." she admitted, biting her bottom lip and making me laugh this time.

"It's all yours."

I grabbed my phone and read my text messages before looking up at her. She hadn't moved, she was still leaning against the wall, her head tilted lightly, looking at me, and I smiled more, moving my phone to snap a picture of her. Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Oh god you didn't take a picture of me did you?"

I laughed again and grabbed my backpack but when I turned around, she was trying to take my phone, probably to delete it.

"Love, stop!" I said with an other chuckle, grabbing her hand gently. "I promise I won't show it to anyone! It's only for me.. for all those nights without you."

Her traits softened and although I knew she didn't like it at all, she nodded slowly. I cupped her face with both my hands and kissed her deeply, ignoring the sound of my phone again.

"Six weeks is barely anything." I whispered against her mouth.

"An eternity without you." she murmured. "I'll miss you."

"Not as much as I'll miss you."

                                                   ----

The ride to the airport and the process of getting aboard was long and painful and it's only when the plane took off that I finally seemed to relax. I leaned my head on the bench, feeling suddenly exhausted and closed my eyes for a while. I tried not to think about her and to focus on every place I wanted to see but it was not easy and I grabbed my phone to look at the last picture of her I had taken. Once again, she looked slightly vulnerable and it made me realize that she always turned me on when she looked like that. I ran my thumb on her over the screen of my phone and sighed, closing my eyes again for a few seconds. Did I make the right choice? Maybe I should have postponed that trip after all, right?

I jumped slightly when I received a message and opened the application on my phone only to see a selfie of my girlfriend making a grimace with the caption: 'Don't worry, i'm fine without you!' and it made me laugh. I saw she was typing and waiting until more words appeared, staring at my phone.

'Don't worry. Just have fun. I'll be there when you call. I'll be there when you come back. I love you.'

I smiled more and chuckled again, quickly typing an answer.

'You're perfect, I love you too.'

I quickly took a selfie of me blowing her a kiss and sent it to her. She answered me with a few emojis and I did the same before to switch to Louis' number. At first, I wanted to ask Harry but I realized that maybe I was a bit jealous of the relationship she had with him... or maybe I was scared that if they spent more time together, she'd forget about me and fall back for him. It was ridiculous and deep down, I knew it, but I didn't want to take the chance.

'Hey Tommo, would you and El mind checking on Liv while i'm gone?'

I was surprised to get his answer only a few seconds later and frowned a bit.

'I don't know about El but i'll entertain her, don't worry mate.'

'Is everything okay?'

'Don't worry about it, just enjoy your trip!'

I shrugged and sighed, closing the application and going back to my gallery. I started checking all the pictures of her and us on my phone and my heart twisted in my chest until I just turned my phone off and put it back in my pockets. My fingers brushed against the fabric of her panties that was hidden in the pocket of my shorts and this time, my heart literally skipped a beat. I wanted to put them in my bag but I forgot and it made me wonder if she knew I had kept them after making her cum with the vibrator I had bought for her. I knew I should have asked her before taking them but it was stronger than me and finally, I pushed them deeper in my pocket to make sure I wouldn't lose them.

I tried to sleep for a while but every single time I was about to fall asleep, an idea would pop in my head and i'd quickly grab my phone again to write a few lyrics or hum a few notes that I'd record. I always seemed to feel inspired by something and even if I had promised myself that I'd do nothing but enjoy this trip, I knew I had to write down all my ideas or i'd end up regretting it.

I was trying to get distracted from her and from the hole in my chest that her absence had seemed to dig but it was not easy. I said six weeks were going to go by very fast, she said it was going to feel like an eternity... and if I wanted to be honest, I was started to believe she may be right.

                                                           ----

"Niall! Let's go!"

I tried to read the text message I had received as we walked through the crowded but small town. It was pouring, I was only wearing shorts and shoes, but I was still heavily sweating. I hadn't seem Olivia face to face in three weeks and although it was tough to be without her, I was starting to feel at ease with my decision. This trip was even more incredible than I thought even if I had to stay in crappy motels and eat cheap food. It was an experience I really had to live at least once in my life.

'I miss you too' I quickly typed with at least one mistake before hitting 'send'.

We walked in a motel and I let my backpack fall on the floor, shaking my head slightly as some water fell into my eyes and finally put my cap back on.

"Okay, let's go get a few drinks."

"Amazing idea." I replied, searching through my stuff to find a shirt. just as my phone went off again.  "Fuck, I forgot, I have a facetime date tonight."

One of my cousins chuckled but I ignored it and just grabbed my phone, typing an other message quickly to my girlfriend.

'We're going out. Rain check?'

I didn't wait for an answer but still decided to bring my phone with me. We ended up drinking a few beers and meeting new people. It was fun, I was getting tipsy, and I started a conversation with the pretty girl sitting next to me. It took me about an hour to realize she was flirting with me but when she laughed, putting her hand on my thigh, I tensed. She moved her thick dark hair behind her ear and tilted her head with a smile, making me smile back. I liked her accent and her eyes and I was about to tell her about it when my phone rang. I saw Liv's face on the screen and immediately sobered up. I had changed her picture for the one she had sent me when I was on the plane and the way she grimaced on it made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry." I told the pretty girl whom's name I couldn't seem to remember. "I have to answer."

I got up and walked out of the bar, letting out a 'hello?' in my phone. I brought my shoulders up when I realized it was still raining as water slipped inside my shirt, freezing me immediately despite the warm weather and the amount of alcohol in my blood.

"Oh shit, Niall?"

Her voice calmed me immediately and I smiled. I wanted to be mad that I was taken, I wanted to be annoyed with the fact that I was living the trip of a lifetime and that I couldn't sleep with a girl I just met in a bar, but as soon as her voice reached my ears, it seemed to reach my heart too. It was cheesy but I like it and I tried to take a mental note of these words to use them later.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to text you but my fingers slipped." she explained. "I'm having a hard time with this new phone."

I frowned, trying to stay under the small roof of the bar as people walked in and out. My shirt was already soaked and my hair was no better but I just wanted to listen to her some more.

"I didn't want to bother you, I know you're having fun, we can talk tomorrow." she quickly said. "I love you, Nee, goodnight."

"No wait!"

I had talked a bit louder than I intended and I felt something stir in my stomach. I didn't know if it was just because I missed her, or because I felt guilty for the thoughts that ran in my head only a few minutes ago when i was with an other girl, but I suddenly wanted to take a plane back home to be with her.

"I shouldn't have canceled our date, i'm going back to the motel now, I'll call you as soon as I get there."

Without thinking, I walked out in the rain quickly, my phone still pressed on my ear. The weather wasn't as bad as a few hours before but my shoes were still drenched and it made a weird sound as I walked.

"No, Niall it's okay!" she argued with a small chuckle. "I'm fine, really, you can't spend all the time talking to me, you have to visit and have fun. I'm fine here without you, remember? Or do I have to send you an other picture?"

She started laughing and my heart jumped on my chest.

"Send me as many pictures as you want. I miss your face."

This time, she kept quiet for a few seconds and when she talked again, I could hear worry in her tone.

"Are you sure, Niall? Are you sure you want us to talk tonight?"

I stopped waking, just feeling the rain fall in my eyes, trying to stop my heart from beating so fast.

"Yes."

                                                  ----

It took me about half an hour to get back to the hotel and as soon as I arrived, I texted my cousin to tell them I was gone and that i'd see them in the morning. I took a quick shower, not really enjoying the bathroom but it was better than being dirty, and finally sat in bed with my phone in hands. It took her a few seconds to answer and I realized she was on her laptop. She sent me a smile as soon as she saw me and licked her lips, bringing her shoulders closer to her face.

"Hey..."

"Hey petal, how are you?"

Her eyebrows raised and her lips curled slightly more. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her.

"I'm the one who should ask you that." she pointed out. "Are you okay, Nee?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I noticed she was wearing my hoodie. The sleeves were pulled over her hands and I desperately wanted to cuddle her.

"Yea, was just missing you."

She was about to answer something when I saw someone in the corner of the screen, making me frown. I sat up better in bed and tried to see who it was, and it suddenly hit me: she was not at my house, and also not at her apartment.

"Where are you?"

As if on cue, Louis appeared and sat next to her, handing her a cup of tea. She took a quick sip and thanked him, sending him a smile. I watched them interact and my heart seemed to sink in my chest.

"I'm at Louis'." she finally let out as if it wasn't obvious already.

"Is that why you didn't want to talk?"

"I wanted to talk, Niall." she frowned slightly. "I just didn't want to bother you. We don't talk as much these days and it's okay, I know you're busy and you're having the time of your life, and I don't want you to think i'm smothering you or stopping you from living this plenty."

My anger and jealousy faltered and my traits softened as I nodded.

"Can you go back home? I'd like to talk with just you."

I knew I had no right to ask her that and I was also aware that I was the one who had asked Louis to check on her but it seemed like I was just realizing that the world was still turning there, in London, without me.

Olivia glanced at Louis who sent her a smile and started nibbling her bottom lip.

"We sort-of had something planned..."

"No it's okay Livi, I totally get it."

She finally looked back at me after a few seconds and quickly nodded, her lips curling into a big smile this time, making me believe she wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to her.

"Okay, let me call you back when i'm home."

She blew me a kiss and without giving me time to answer, she hung up. I stayed in bed, motionless, realizing that I was alone in the dark in an other country and somehow, I felt extremely pathetic at that moment. I thought about the girl I was flirting with, I thought about the fact that I wanted to kiss her and maybe more, and even if that thought had crossed my mind only for half a second, I felt like shit. It was not Olivia's fault that I was here, or that I hadn't had sex in three weeks. It was my decision and she didn't have to pay for that. I had never felt that guilty before when in a relationship and it's not like it was not normal to lust other people but for some reason, I was scared that if I could have these thoughts, perhaps she could too. She was not spending her time all alone locked in my room, waiting for me to come back, and for some weird reason, it was just hitting me now.

I don't know how long I waited but I decided to call back again, even if it meant that I would look desperate. In fact, I sort of was.

"Babe, i'm in the car." she pointed out. "I'm almost there."

She had put her phone near the dash and I could see her hands moving on the wheel. She was not looking at me but I was staring at her and even from that weird angle, she looked pretty.

"Do you know what I want to do to you?"

Her face changed and she glanced at me but I could swear I saw her cheeks turn a soft shade of red, making me smirk.

"I really want to fuck you, pet." I added low. "I want to make love to you. I want to feel your warm body beneath mine. I miss you so bad."

She chuckled. "Me or fucking me?"

"Can't it be both?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, a smirk still gracing my face.

"It can."

I watched her and kept silent as she parked the car and turned to look at me in the screen of her phone, her head slightly tilted and her hair falling on her right shoulder, exactly like the picture I had taken of her before I left.

"I miss you too, Niall." she whispered, making my heart twist. "I wish you were here."

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