#this ending is too awkward to put in the main tags but fuck it

[sentientgolfball]

Hello! I have a writing request! Can you write a Polyghoul x reader where reader has horrendous eyesight and is night blind? Just something fluffy if you have time. I appreciate you!

And I appreciate YOU anon <3 you can also very much see my Phantom obsession in this

Tags: none! Just so much fluff

My requests are open !

You cursed under your breath when you opened the door to the hallway. You hadn’t realized just how long you had been cleaning, but now that the only thing you could see was a pitch-black void you figured too long. You, of course, didn’t have any source of light on you. You didn’t think you would need it. You’ve never left a shift after the sun went down and all the main lights had been put out. Tonight had been different, though. The kitchen was already a mess when you arrived for the dinner shift. Apparently, something had happened with the originally planned meal and now the head Siblings had to scramble for a replacement. You didn’t pay that close attention to the details of it all as you were put straight to work the moment you crossed the threshold. Dinner ended up being presented late which led to a stern talking to from Sister Imperator, and then after all that you still had to do the dishes and clean any messes. Since you were the least experienced in kitchen duty, you always got stuck with the cleanup. You didn’t mind too much, though, because it got you some alone time. But now you were seriously questioning your choices. 

Okay…it’s not too far to my room. It’s gotta be muscle memory by now right? You take a deep breath and shrug to yourself fuck it. 

You place your hand on the cold stone of the wall and begin to walk to the left. You get the feeling that you’ve been walking far enough and decide to turn the next time the wall gives way to an opening. You walk a bit farther before you feel a wall in front of you. You reach out expecting to feel the doorknob, but when your hand just meets more stone you pause. 

Uh oh. 

You began to frantically feel around hoping a door would magically appear if you just kept looking. The longer you went without a door popping into existence you felt your stomach drop. You were lost. You couldn’t see and you were lost. You tried to keep calm, knowing that if you panicked it would only make things worse. You found the wall again and began retracing your steps to the best of your ability. Maybe it was the fact that your anxiety was rising, but the longer you walked the more you felt like someone was watching you. You tried to ignore it, it wouldn’t be surprising. 

Of course there were other people around. It's a satanic abbey for Lucifer’s sake. 

You tried to rationalize with yourself despite walking just a bit faster now. That’s when you had a second realization. You should’ve passed an opening a few steps ago. Shit. Now you really had no idea where you were. 

The panic had closed in at this point. You leaned heavily against the wall too freaked to continue trying to find your way. You stayed like that for a few minutes trying to will your breathing to even out before you saw it. A faint purple glow illuminated the end of the hallway. When it realized you had noticed it there was a small flash before it was right in front of you. Now that it was near, you were able to tell that the source of it was one of Papa Copia’s ghouls. Phantom. You remember overhearing some older Siblings talking about a newer ghoul with that name. 

“Why are you on the floor? Did you lose your game?” There was no malice in his voice, just genuine curiosity. 

You looked up at him despite only really being able to make out the purple light coming from his eyes.

 “Game? What game?”

“I saw you walk in a circle like three times…are you not playing some strange human game…?” He tilted his head as he spoke

“You watched me walk around lost in the middle of the night and didn’t think to say anything” you snap at the ghoul. There’s a moment of awkward silence before you hear a small whine and a mumbled apology. You sigh heavily feeling a bit guilty about yelling at him. 

“No, it’s fine. I mean it’s not fine I really was…am lost, but I didn’t need to yell at you.” 

“Where you trying to go?” 

“I just want to go back to my room and sleep. I’ve had a long and stressful day and getting lost in this gigantic labyrinth of a place only made it worse.” 

“Let me help!” 

You’re a bit shocked at his immediate willingness. You haven’t had many interactions with ghouls in your short time as a Sibling of Sin, but you assumed demons from Hell wouldn’t be so eager to go out of their way to help. You were honestly half expecting to have to bargain or beg with him.  You don’t dwell on it for too long, though. You reach your hand out in the direction of the purple dots of light and hope he gets the message. He hear a noise you can only assume means happiness as you feel a clawed hand grab yours before you’re rather unceremoniously yanked to your feet. You almost crash into him as you find your footing. 

He keeps your hand in his and his tail wrapped around your arm as you two walk. 

He fills the quiet night by going on and on about what he was doing prior to watching you. He talked a bit too fast and too much for you to totally understand what he was saying despite listening in earnest. The only thing you really got was that he found a bat colony in an old bell tower during his first week on Earth and that he was so fascinated with them that every night he goes to visit them and watch them fly around. Eventually, he comes to a stop. You get a strange feeling as you physically feel his excitement grow. For a moment, the hall is cast in purple light as the Lichtenberg figure scars on the left side of his body pulse with quintessence, confirming your suspicions. 

He coughs “Sorry. Can’t always control it when I get excited.” 

It was only then that you realized you must’ve been making a face. You let your muscles relax.

“No it’s not that I’m just…confused. How did you know where my room is?”

“Oh! Good question! I don’t!”

You blink slowly at him “Then where are we?”

His only response is a laugh as he throws open the door in front of you two. You have to shield your eyes for a moment from the sudden burst of blinding lights. 

“I’m right on time! I hope you guys don’t mind that I brought a guest.”

You rub your eyes and slowly crack them open only to be met with nine pairs of various colored eyes staring right at you. 

The ghoul den. He brought me to the ghoul den.

You felt like you were ready to pass out as he closed the door and guided you to one of the couches where he plopped down right next to you. 

“If you’re going to have sex with your guest at least wait until after the movie. It’s my turn to pick.” A gigantic green ghoul commented from where he was hunched over searching through a box. 

“You don’t have to worry about that big guy, nobody is going to get hard from a nature documentary. Well unless it's about the ocean then maybe Wet Boy will—OW motherfucker.” You watched the water ghoul elbow who you knew to be Dew hard in the ribs before turning towards Phantom. 

“Hey uh, I really don’t mean to intrude. You can just give me a flashlight or a candle or something and I can find my own way back.”

“Aw come on most of us don’t bite.” The ghoulette seated on the other side of Phantom craned her neck to look at you.

“Don’t listen to Sunny she’s one of us who does bite.” The earth ghoul stated as he was putting his pick into the DVD player. The ghoulette just shrugged with a smile and small nod. 

Phantom looked at you with a bit of concern, but mostly amusement “Nope. Not happening. You already got lost once. Besides, I owe it to you for not helping sooner.” 

He curled around you and started to purr and oh that was very comfortable. Any protests you had died the moment he did so. The grin on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. It was endearing if you were being honest with yourself. You reached up and scratched his scalp being sure to avoid his horns. You laughed when you heard his tail beat against the couch. 

Everyone got comfortable as the movie began which, as Dew said, ended up being a nature documentary. You were thankful that someone turned the lights off, even with the glow of the TV it was too dark for you to see any of the ghouls. It made you feel a bit more relaxed. As the narrator droned on you began to feel the heaviness from the day seep into every bone in your body. You were half asleep when you heard Phantom again. 

“Pssst hey come here you’ll love this.” 

You didn’t really get the chance to respond before he pulled you from the couch and onto the floor. You were confused. You were even more confused when you suddenly felt multiple bodies. 

“Glad you could join us doll.” You heard a voice say right by your ear. You shifted and were met with a fang-filled grin.

“Swiss don’t be scary.” Phantom whispered as he curled in next to you. 

“Scary?” He sounded genuinely confused. He was going to respond but shut up when a tail smacked him. 

You were a little freaked out, to say the least, but when the purring of multiple ghouls started to pick up you settled into what you can only describe as a ghoul pile. The warmth of the bodies coupled with the dark room lulled you into a very comfortable sleep. 

You were awoken the next morning to the smell of a divine-looking breakfast being prepared by the multi-ghoul who you learned was called Swiss. You offered to help him, feeling a bit awkward being dumped into the ghoul’s daily routine but he just shushed you, slid you one of the prepared plates, and made a sly remark about kissing the cook before turning his attention back to his eggs. You watched as the rest of the pack began to slowly wake up and shuffle to the kitchen area. You anxiously waited for Phantom to join since he was the one who brought you here in the first place. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, he sleeps later than any of us,” Another rather large-looking quintessence ghoul said with a small chuckle “But really, it’s okay that you’re here. Nobody is going to kick you out. We actually enjoy it when the Siblings decide the best stress relief is hanging out with us.” His eyes spark purple for a brief moment. That’s when you remember what you were told about ghouls and elements. Quintessence can sense emotions. 

Wait does that mean?

You look up from your plate and meet the large ghoul’s eyes. He smiles and nods in confirmation as if he could hear your question. You suddenly get a bit embarrassed over the fact Phantom could totally tell you were on the verge of a mental breakdown when he found you. But you were also warmed. He brought you back to the den to make you feel better. You smiled into your mug as you took a sip. 

When Phantom did wake up, the rest of the ghouls had already eaten and properly introduced themselves to you. He sat down in an open chair next to you with a yawn, slowly blinking. He started to stuff his face full of food before he made a choked oh! sound and looked at you. 

“How’d you get lost anyway? I know all the lamps were turned out, but the candles were still lit.” You felt a bit flustered that Phantom just announced to the whole room the events of last night, but you cleared your throat and answered him.

“My eyesight is really bad. It’s even worse in the dark. If there’s not enough light I can’t see a thing, even if it’s dim light.” 

“I thought all humans had shit eyes.” there was no malice in Dew’s voice. He said it more like a fact than anything. 

“Mine is like infinitely worse I can assure you.” 

He made a small hm noise and shrugged before drinking more of his coffee. You smiled when you realized just how little the ghouls must actually understand about humans. 

You helped with the cleanup despite Swiss protesting at least a hundred times before bidding farewell to everyone. You went about your day as normal, smiling and waving whenever you crossed paths with a ghoul. Dinner rolled around and this time, thank Satan, there were no major issues. You were able to finish the clean-up right on time. You put away the last of the dishes and made your way out of the kitchen only to be met with Cumulus. She smiled softly and greeted you with a “Hi baby” and asked you about your day. You were a little confused but you welcomed the company as you walked with her to your room. When you arrived she gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek before wishing you a good night. You cocked your head at her disappearing form with a smile and laughed to yourself. 

This pattern continued all week. Then all month. And the next one. You would finish a shift and a ghoul or two or three would be waiting for you. They’d talk with you and walk you back to your room, or on rather rough days, invite you to the den. Even on the days, you didn’t work, they’d come to find you just as the sun was setting to see if you needed anything or if you wanted to join them for the night. At first, you felt a little overwhelmed by their near-constant presence, but after a while, it was the highlight of your day to see which ghoul would be randomly showing up no matter where you were in the Ministry.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #nameless ghouls #polyghouls #nameless ghoul x reader #i hope you like it anon <3 #golfball writes

[beebeetheclown]

Room Service

Summary: not really any main plot, you just work at a high class hotel Kendall Roy is staying at and end up in his bed.

Tags: Kendall Roy x reader, Kendall Roy x you, age gap, contains smut

Enjoy ;)

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You were at the customer service desk of the hotel when you got the call. “Hey, uh my fuckin’ tv is broken. I paid what, a fuckin’ ton for this hotel and you can’t have a tv working?”

You were used to these types of calls, working at a high class hotel. All of the greedy rich people would only stay there. When they had one tiny problem, they needed to get it fixed asap, to satisfy their “high class needs”.

“Yes sir, sorry about that. I will be up as soon as possible, can I get your room number?”

The guy's voice on the other end seems less aggressive now that he hears your voice, “246.”

“Alright, I’ll be there shortly.” You say before hanging up the phone. You leave the desk and make your way up the elevator. You didn’t know much about tv’s and how to fix them, but your boss was kind of a bitch and made you deal with everything saying, “You should know how to do everything if you want to be a successful worker.” You had hoped it wasn’t too hard of a problem to fix, otherwise, the man would probably get angry with you and tell your boss.

When you knock on the door, it doesn’t take long for the man to answer. He is on the phone and motions for you to come in with his head. You recognized him. You saw him come into the hotel with two others, he was the one guy with that white button-up you had been eyeing upon his arrival. He was hot, you would be lying to yourself if you denied that, but he was rich, and by his phone call demand, you guessed he was just another snobby rich man he only cared about himself, so that turned you off.

When he hangs up the phone it gets quiet before he speaks, “So, they sent you up here to fix this tv I assume?”

You smile politely at him, “Yes sir, what seems to be wrong with it?”

“Uh, it doesn’t fucking turn on sweetheart, that’s the problem.”

You don’t know if you hated or liked his reply, calling you such a name.

“Well, let me see if I can try and figure this out for you sir. My apologies for this trouble.”

You take the remote in your hands and press the on button, facing it at the tv and waiting a couple of seconds.

“I’m not that dumb, “he chuckles, “I’ve tried that already.”

You don’t know what to say to his smartass reply. You had to remain polite, it was your job.

“Right, sorry sir.” You reply then put down the remote as the tv is still black. You walk over to the side of the tv and realise the on button is flashing red. When you click it, it turns green and the tv turns on.

You look over at him and notice that he has a small smile on his face and shakes his head. “That’s all I had to do?”

“Yes, sir.” You say and smile. You try not to laugh at just how clueless rich people could be at times. They are so used to having their maids do things for them. God, do they do anything for themselves? “It should work from now on.”

“Right, well… Thank you. For helping a dummy like me out.” He says with a smile, “sorry to interrupt your schedule.”

“Oh no sir, it’s no problem at all.”

“Are you sure?” He suddenly asks. “You can be honest with me. I’m not going to tell your manager if you break your little sweet act.”

You begin to feel confused, “I’m sorry?”

He chuckles quietly, “I mean come on, you don’t actually like doing this sort of thing do you? You look young, I bet you’d rather be out with friends on a Friday night rather than helping out people like me.”

You feel kind of awkward for some reason, “I go out sometimes, but this is my job. I enjoy my job as well sir. I’m happy to help.”

He smiles then shakes his head again, “how old are you?”

“Sorry?”

“I asked, how old are you.” He says it this time in a slower, and deeper voice.

“I’m 21 sir.” You reply.

“So you’re still just a young little thing. Poor you, stuck at work. I’m sure you’d rather be out right now, or at home?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” You say, breaking your little room service act.

“Well, when do you get off?”

You didn’t know what his intentions were at this point. Was he asking these personal questions as a way to flirt with you or was he just that clueless and how suspicious they all sounded.

“Not for another 5 hours. It’s one of those late night shifts.”

He clicks his tongue, “Poor thing. If I was your age, I’d be pissed off for having to do late night shifts on such a nice night like tonight.”

“Why, how old are you?” You ask out of nowhere, you immediately regret asking.

“I’ll be 33 in a couple of months.” He smiles.

You nod your head and feel as if you need to get out of the room now, embarrassed from asking him for his age.

“Well, I must go now sir, if you have any more problems, just call the customer service desk, we’ll be sure to help.”

“Alright, well thank you again.” He says. You had been with him for so long now that his voice was starting to turn you on. You keep quiet as he follows you to the door. As you exit, you tell him to have a goodnight and then walk away, not being able to be near him anymore.

His room smelt of cologne mixed with mint and wood. His voice was so attractive. His plain white button-up shirt was so basic but yet so attractive to you.

About an hour has passed before you are switched over to be the wine server in the little bar area. You liked this job a lot better than customer service. You didn’t have as many annoying complaints to deal with. You grab another wine bottle from the bar and walk it around tables, asking people if they’d like to try a glass. As you are pouring a glass of it at a table you glance up at the next table and see him again. He hasn’t seemed to notice you yet.

When you walk over to the table, you grow nervous then clear your throat before you speak. “Hello good evening, would you like to try some of our special champagne tonight?” You say with a smile that hides your anxiousness. You study the two other people that are with him. There is a pretty girl with short red hair and another rich looking guy with his hair kind of swept to the side.

“Well, look who it is. My little tv fixer upper.” The one guy jokes. “Did you get switched over to this job now?”

“Uh, yeah… they switch us around often.” You reply.

He smiles up at you and it gets awkwardly quiet.

“Okay you two have definitely fucked.” The other boy says, looking between the two of you, breaking the silence. You are taken back a little by such a reply. Before you can speak, the guy in the white button-up speaks.

“Rome, can you fuck off. Leave the poor girl alone.” He says, “I’m sorry about him sweetheart, we’d love to try some of your champagne.”

You just awkwardly smile then pour each of them a glass.

“There you are.” You say then when they thank you, you walk away. You pass other tables and just walk back to the bar and sit down. You needed to think of that one boy's snarky reply. Even if it was a joke, it made you think. Why would he joke about something like that? Did you make it obvious that you were attracted to his friend?

Before you can get caught in your thoughts any longer, the attractive one walks up to you and sits down.

“Hey, I’m sorry about him alright?”

“No, don’t be sir.”

“Kendall.” He says with a smile.

“What?” You ask awkwardly.

“You can call me Kendall. You don’t need to call me sir, even though I did get kind of used to it.”

“Okay… well, Kendall, don’t be sorry about it really, it’s no big deal.”

“He’s my brother. He can be a bit weird at times, says whatever he wants out loud most of the time, thinking it’s okay.”

You laugh a little, “It’s not that big of a deal, I mean it sir.” You pause, “Kendall, I mean.”

He smiles then takes a sip of his drink, “you don’t have a name tag, how am I supposed to know what to call you?”

You look down at your dress then realise you had forgotten your name tag, “Oh shoot. I usually wear one, I guess I forgot.”

He chuckles, “Well tell me your name, you can’t just make me guess.”

When you tell him your name, he repeats it again softly, “that’s very pretty you know? Your boyfriend is lucky to have a girl like you. A pretty name, a nice personality, and a nice smile.” He says. He was using the boyfriend trick. Trying to get you to say if you had a boyfriend or not by not asking you the question directly. He keeps his eyes on you, waiting for your reply.

“Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“No? How come? I’m sure a bunch of boys just go crazy for you.”

“I mean maybe, but I tend to turn them down.” You admit.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, they don’t satisfy me.”

“Don’t satisfy you?” He questions, “in what ways?”

You take a second to reply, “many ways.” You say quietly and smile.

“Oh, I see.” he replies, “what are you into then? Being so picky?” He jokes.

You don’t really know what to do. You consider flirting with him. There was no way he wasn’t acting this way for no reason. You remember hearing that he was only staying for one night as you heard him checking in. So if flirting with him went wrong, you’d never see him again. So you gave it a shot.

“Well let’s see,” you begin, “I may be into short hair. Maybe men that are on the richer side, with a nice voice and… maybe who also happen to wear white-pullover shirts.”

An evil smirk slowly appears on his face as he looks in your eyes then down at your lips. “Are you describing me? Is that what I’m getting at here?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Your reply makes him hard.

“Are you?” He says lowly.

‘Maybe I am.”

He looks down at your lips again then lets out a huff of air through his nose, “You know, I was having troubles with my tv again. Since you're such an expert, why don’t you come and help me with it again.” He asks then his face comes closer to yours, “what do you say?”

You smile at him. Was this really all happening? Your boss would kill you, your coworkers would judge you for “hanging around” with one of the hotel guests. You just couldn’t help yourself. You wanted him.

“Sure. I could see what I could do,” you reply then whisper, “I’m happy to help my guests with their needs.”

He smiles, getting more turned on now, “I knew I’d be able to break that shyness away from you. It’s cute when you’re shy, but I have to say, I think I like this side of you better.”

Before you know it, you are following Kendall to his room. As you’re in the hallway, following behind him, he reaches back to take your hand. He is now practically pulling you along with him.

You wait for his key card to click and when it does, he pulls you inside. “You know, employees aren’t supposed to do this sort of thing with guests.” You tease.

He plays along, “what, fix my tv?”

You look at him then let out a soft laugh. “Right, your tv. Let me see if I can fix it for you.”

The both of you know the tv works just fun, it was fun to just play your little games. When the tv turns on you look at him before turning it off again.

“Hm, seems to be working just fine, sir.”

“How strange.” He chuckles.

“Anything else you need help with sir?”

“Yes actually, there is.” He steps closer to you now and puts his hand on your waist, “is this ok? Do you want me to keep going? You know, I suggest you do, to.. satisfy your guests.”

“Yes Kendall.” Is all you can manage to say.

Both hands are on your hips now, “I know I told you you can call me by my name,” he says before he brings his lips close to your ear, “but I think I like it when you call me sir.”

You take a deep breathe in at the feeling of his warm breath. “Make up your mind.” You tease and whisper back.

“I want you to call me sir until I tell you otherwise.”

“Yes sir.” You say. The reason why he enjoyed the words “sir” falling from your lips so much was because it made him feel empowered. It added onto this little cat mouse game you were playing, the little housekeeper and rich man fantasy.

“I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what you want baby.”

“I want… I want you to fuck me.”

He chuckles hearing you blurt out such a thing, “I didn’t know you’d give in so easily.”

“I’m sorry sir.”

“No, why are you sorry? I’m glad you are giving yourself to me so easily.” He replies touches your cheek, “I’m going to need you to take your clothes off, can you do that for me?”

“Yes.” You say quietly than you feel his grip on your hip tighten, “sir. Yes sir.”

“Good. Good girl.”

You look up at him as you begin to slide the straps of your little dress down your shoulders. He now sits on the bed and watches you undress, with an evil smirk on his lips. When you are left in your bra and panties he speaks again,

“So, a man has never satisfied you huh?”

You shake your head.

“Why’d you agree to come up here with me then?”

“Because… I think, you can satisfy me sir. I’ve got a good feeling I guess. Even though you are a guest at my hotel, there’s camera you know? They’ll see me go into your room if they watch it back.”

“Uh huh and that’s no problem. You’re in here to fix the tv, for about 30 minutes… or all night.” He says with a chuckle.

“All night?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure I satisfy you baby. Even if that takes us all night.” With that, he gets up and then picks you up to practically throw you onto the bed.

You look up and see that he is now undressing. Taking everything off in a quick manner. He can’t even fully pull his dress pants down before he is leaning down to kiss you. You kiss him back, slipping your tongue in his mouth with need.

You help him unbutton his shirt then speak into his lips, “I want you to keep this shirt on, please Ken- sir. Please sir.”

“You’re something else.” He says in satisfaction. “Yeah, you want me to keep this on?”

“Yes. I want you to fuck me with your expensive shirt that you paid a crazy amount for because rich people are crazy.” You chuckle.

“Rich people are crazy?” He smiles.

“Uh huh. So crazy. How much did you even pay for that shirt, $100?”

He chuckles, “more than that sweetheart,” and he kisses you again. “A lot more.”

You whimper in his mouth. The fact that you were almost nude underneath a man that was wearing an outfit that most definitely cost more than your rent made you fold.

Soon he stands up again, removing everything now expect for his button-up, leaving it on but unbuttoned.

He pulls at your panties and you raise your hips so he can remove them and throw them on the floor. You can’t wait any longer and you arch your back and undo your bra yourself, throwing it to join the clothes on the floor.

His fingers begin to play with your clit then they slide down to your cunt. Fucking you with them lightly to get you ready for his cock.

You whimper our at the feeling of pleasure before he laughs a little then pulls his fingers away, to open the condom he had in his hands.

“You brought a condom on a sibling trip?” You joke.

“I bring one with me everywhere sweetheart. In case I meet a pretty girl just like you.”

This probably meant he has met up with a lot of women in his life, but you didn’t care in that moment. He was with you now and only you, that’s all that mattered.

He strokes himself a couple of times when he rolls it on.

“You sure you want this?” He asks, his tip at your cunt now.

“Yes sir.” You practically whine out.

He smiles one more time before he looks down and watches himself as he grinds his hips into you. He doesn’t go super slow, not letting you fully adjust to his size, he just fits himself all the way in.

You both moan out as your hips meet and he pulls out to thrust forward again. Beginning to find a pleasureable pace.

When you continue to moan out softly everytime your hips meet, he speaks.

“You’re so beautiful. So fucking pretty when your under me like this.” He breathes out as he ticks hair behind your ear. “You like this? Does that feel good?” His voice is a little shaky as he continues to thrust his hips.

“Yes sir. So fucking good. Don’t stop, oh please don’t stop.”

Hearing you call him sir while he fucks you, he can’t help but fuck you faster, in a harsher pace. He grabs into your hips now.

The sounds of your wet skin slapping together and his little grunts and breaths echoing through the room makes you through your head back.

“You poor little girl. Not having any guy give you want you need. You deserve everything, deserve to be fucked properly just like this.” Is the last thing he says before he is now leaning in and on his forearms, fully on top of you. His abdomen comes to brush against your clit everytime he drives his hips back and forth, making you squeal in pleasure.

“Oh Ken- I.. I can’t.” Is the only thing you can breathe out.

“Just a little longer honey. You’re doing so good for me, so fucking good baby.” He says in your ear before his forehead is pressing against your shoulder.

“I want you to say my name when you come,” he continues, “can you do that for me? Say my name when you come so I can never forget your pretty little voice call out my name.”

You continue you whine and whimper out and he feels himself coming close, needing for you to come.

“I’m so.. close.” You cry out.

“Come on baby. You can do it. Come for me,” he says in an out of breath grunt, “come for me honey.”

And that’s all it takes you to come undone underneath him. You grab onto his button-up and grip it hard as you throw your head back while sweet moans and whimpers leave your lips.

“Say my name, oh shit baby, please say my name.”

You cry out his name like you’ve never done with anyone else before “Ken… Kendall!”

“Yeah there you go, just like that.” He sounds more and more out of breathe now as he is coming close, sweat dripping off his forehead and landing on yours “Just. thrust like. thrust that.”

It only take him a few more thrusts before they become more sloppy and he is stilling inside you. Holding your hips so you stay still as he spills into the condom.

You catch your breath as he is still on top of you. He chuckles a little at how good you just felt and kisses your lips before pulling out of you and laying beside you.

“I could fuck you all night if that were possible.” He jokes.

You giggle, “well too bad it’s not possible.” Your roll over to face him, “I think it’s safe to say you satisfied me Kendall.”

He smiles and plays with your hair, “yeah, I could tell.” He teases. “You were so good. I think I could take you everyday and not get tired of it. You should come to New York with me tomorrow.”

You’re not sure if he’s joking or not. “Yeah right.”

“I’m serious.” He says with a smile.

“Ken, I can’t just fly to New York tomorrow. I have work, I have family, friends here.”

“Okay well how about a week from now?”

“I don’t know.” You laugh, “but for now, how about this. You can keep my panties, you know, for a souvenir.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He laughs softly, “I think I’d like that.”

He kisses you again, and you kiss him back.

A month later, you are in New York City, sleeping naked in his bed while he lays beside you, holding you close.

#kendall roy #jeremy strong #fanfic #ao3 #kendall roy smut #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy x you #fanfiction #succession

[cadybear420]

Performance for fluffember🤍

The Voice of an Angel

Fandom: High School Story (Original Trilogy)

Pairings: Aiden Zhou x Evie Ayana (female HSS MC), maybe with a small side of Ajay Bhandari x Cher Lee (female HSS:CA MC)

Characters: Aiden Zhou, Evie Ayana (female HSS MC)

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Additional Tags: Fluff, Singing, Performance, Dancing

Word Count: 2,128

Summary: On Evie’s 18th birthday, Aiden and the jazz band whip up a little surprise for her. Takes place approximately between HSS:CA 2 and HSS:CA 3 (though my memory of the HSS:CA timeline is a little more fuzzy).

A/N: First of all: to the anon who sent the prompt, major apologies for sleeping on it for so long. Coming up with writing ideas is a bitch, but it is something I want to do more often. And there was also that one time when Tumblr turned off editing for answers to asks, which carried over to the draft post for this for a while. Second of all, I’m fucking obsessed with this song from Doctor Who (“My Angel Put the Devil in Me”, from the Series 3 soundtrack) and I think Evie and Aiden would be as well. Third of all, yes this is a belated birthday fic for Evie, but I’m glad to get it out before the end of Evie’s birthday month at least. Also haha both Evie’s birthday this year and in the setting of the fic were on a Friday. Fourth of all, arghrghrargh my first time writing a fic where one character sings to another AND does a choreographed dance to it too. It’s a lot more difficult than I imagined lol. 

(Also, the outfit I imagine for the other jazz band kids)

Prompt: Performance

Source for prompts here. Even though it's long past November, I'll still accept prompt suggestions from this list year-round.

Tags: @inlocusmads @aces-and-angels @aria-ashryver @lover-also-fighter-also @jerzwriter @choicesmc @3rdstreetfrank @dutifullynuttywitch @lovealexhunt @lilyoffandoms @peonierose (as this is the complete version of this WIP and this challenge bit), and @choicesficwriterscreations

Friday, March 8, 2019. The day of Evie’s 18th birthday. She’d been planning to host a birthday party at one of her favorite restaurants in the city, starting in the early evening after school. Almost everyone she knew from school was invited. 

It was late in the afternoon now. Evie took one last look at herself in her new outfit– a navy blue suit with a purple floral necktie– and grinned, before dashing to the living room. There, her dad was checking his phone. 

“Alright, I’m ready to go!” she said. 

He turned to her. “Actually… we can’t leave just yet…”

She pouted. “What??? But Daaaad, the party starts at 5 PM and it’s already 4:45!”

“The people doing the decorations are… taking a bit longer than expected.”

“Oh…”

“It’s a bit awkward to go to a party when they’re still putting decorations up, isn’t it?”

“That’s true,” her face softened. “Do the other guests know?”

“...yep! I’ve just told them, in fact.”

“Okay… but how long do we have to wait?”

“Shouldn’t be more than… ten to twenty minutes?”

Evie pouted again. 

“It’s not that long…”

“Okay, fiiiiine, I’ll be patient…”

“And I’ll be doctor!”

Evie winced. “Dad, NO…”

…

About twenty minutes passed, and then finally, her dad said it was okay to start driving to the restaurant. After a fifteen minute drive, they arrived, and Evie wasted no time going in. 

The room was alive with upbeat music, purple decorative lights and flowers, and many of Evie’s friends. It seemed like just about everyone she’d invited had shown up– her main friend group, her teammates, her friends from the other cliques and Hearst, Cher and her friends from theatre, the seniors from last year who hadn’t gone away for college… 

And all of them greeted her with a big “Happy birthday, Evie!!!”, in unison. 

Evie inhaled, beaming at her friends. Many of them ran over to hug her, a few others cheered for her. 

Then she saw Emma and Cher push their way through the crowd and grab her by her arms. 

“Evie! There’s a special surprise for you, right now!” said Cher. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” said Emma. “Just come with us…” 

The crowd parted, making way for Emma and Cher to pull Evie to the opposite side of the room. As they did, the party music slowly faded out and the lights began to dim. 

“What the–” Evie started. 

“Shhhh. You’ll see soon enough!” Emma replied. 

When they made it to the opposite end of the room, a warm spotlight turned on over her, and there she saw it. The jazz band, all set up with their instruments and dressed in matching snazzy black-and-red suits and… devil horns? Yes, devil horns. 

And at the front of it all… was none other than her beautiful boyfriend Aiden, all dressed up and holding a microphone. 

Evie just about stopped in her tracks as she took in his outfit– a snug, ivory-colored flapper dress that had silver beads sewn into intricate patterns, and hung just barely above his knees. Along with that, he also wore a couple of matching long pearl necklaces, a fluffy white halo accessory over his head, and winged eyeliner.

“Wow…” Evie felt her breath catch. “Aiden, you look–”

Just then, Aiden signaled to the band… and they started to play. 

Evie grinned broadly, her eyes immediately lighting up at the familiar upbeat jazzy tune, and watched intently as her boyfriend danced towards her, in steps that were careful and rhythmic, yet lively. 

Then the tempo slowed, and he held the microphone to his mouth and began to sing. 

“I'm a country girl, I ain't seen a lot… But you came along, and my heart went pop! You took a little streetcar to my heart… And an apple of love fell off my apple cart~”

Evie’s cheeks flustered at his melodious voice. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard him sing– he’s sung to her plenty of times, and they’d practically been doing Evie-Aiden duets since the day they met. But this… this was different. Aiden had never done a solo singing performance for her before, let alone one that involved a bit of dance as well. 

“You looked at me, my heart began to pound… You weren't the sort of guy I thought would stick around… Hey, but it don't have to be eternally… My bad, bad Angel put the Devil in me~”

And his singing voice was all the more different this time around too. Even later into their relationship, as Aiden had become more confident about his singing, there was always still a hint of nervousness in his voice when they sang their duets. But this time, he sang loud and clear. Like he was owning the stage. 

Aiden performed a small twirl before stopping, his eyes meeting hers as he began slowly walking up to her, making her heart jump a little.

“You lured me in with your cold grey eyes… Your simple smile, your bewitching lies…”

As he sang that verse, he reached out and grabbed onto her bright purple tie, making Evie’s face heat up as he began tugging on it gently and pulling her closer to him. 

“One and one and one is three… My bad, bad Angel… the Devil in me~!”

The tempo picked up again. Aiden let go of her tie and took her hand in his as he broke out into energetic dance movements while still singing the lyrics to the song, the skirt of his dress swishing about as he swayed gracefully to the instrumental music. 

Evie squeezed his hand and matched his movements, her pulse racing now.  All the while, the crowd watched with excitement. When they came face-to-face again, she was giving him an almost drunken smile.

Soon enough, Aiden broke from her hold and turned around, sashaying slightly as he started stepping away from her… before looking over his shoulder, catching her gaze once again. 

“My bad, bad Angel~ you put the Devil in me~”

Aiden shook his butt side-to-side to the beat, giving Evie a knowing look that made her cheeks brighten. The music slowed, and he turned around to face her again. 

“So, now my dear, I ain't the girl you knew… 'Cause the Angel's got Heaven, but I get you…”

He sauntered back up to her.

“And the tree of life grows tall, you see… My bad, bad Angel… you put the Devil in me~!”

The beat slowed to a more gentle, relaxed tune as Aiden placed his arm over Evie’s shoulder. 

“Oh… You put the Devil in me~”

Aiden gestured towards Evie’s arm, and she placed her arms around him, taking hold of his waist as they began to rock together. 

“You put the Devil in me…”

Gently and smoothly, Aiden broke out of her hold and took her hand again. Lifting her hand, he twirled himself under her arm, then placed himself backwards against her body– all without missing a beat. 

As Aiden continued to sing, Evie wrapped both of her arms around his middle, embracing him from behind. Aiden pressed back against her and placed his free arm over hers, almost as if to hold her arms in place, as they began to sway side-to-side together again. Evie practically melted into him, his body warm against hers. 

“You put the Devil in me…”

Then, the song picked up again. 

“You put the Devil in… me~!”

He swiftly yet carefully broke from her hold again, and danced in a circle around her as he sang the last few verses of the song. She turned to follow him, their eyes locked onto each other yet again, as he gave her an almost sultry gaze. 

“My bad, bad Angel, you put the Devil in me!”

At the final note, the lights slowly faded back on. Aiden stood in front of the now cheering crowd and took a huge bow, grinning proudly. 

Once he straightened back up, Evie finally let out a high pitched “EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”, bouncing up and down before leaping onto Aiden, sweeping him up into her arms, and spinning him around. Aiden gasped, dropping his microphone with a loud *thunk*– but then quickly held her face in his hand and pulled her in for a passionate kiss, prompting the crowd to cheer louder. 

After a moment, Aiden broke the kiss. “Happy eighteenth birthday, Darling~”

Evie squeezed him tighter. “Aiden, that was…” She took a deep breath, a starstruck look in her eyes. “Your singing is amazing… I mean, I’ve heard you sing before, obviously, but…”

A slight but visible rosy tint grew on his cheeks. 

“But I’ve never done a singing performance for you, I know. I figured it was about time I did.”

“And you were fucking amazing. I’ve never heard you sing like that before… like, you were already good, but I didn’t know you were this good…”

“I mean… practice makes perfect, after all…”

“That’s true…”

He planted a small kiss onto her lips, making her whole body warm up. 

“And what made you choose that song from Doctor Who for your first performance? I mean, obviously I love the song–”

“That’s just it. I know how much you love the song, and the episodes it came from.” He chuckled softly. “And, I mean… I don’t blame you. It is a fantastic song.”

Evie’s smile grew wider. “God, Aiden… I fucking love you.”

“I love you too, Evie.” 

They pulled each other in for one more kiss, holding each other tightly, before she set him down. 

“And I love your outfit too… you look absolutely gorgeous, as always~”

Even as Aiden beamed at her so brightly, his cheeks turned as red as the other band members’ devil costumes, prompting Evie to giggle.

“Well… I have been having a lot of fun trying on new outfits…” he said, softly. 

At that moment, Ajay and Cher popped up beside them. 

“Hey… if Aiden likes singing, dancing, and dressing up in fancy outfits now… you think we could convince him to join the upcoming spring musical?” Ajay said. “His talent would just be unmatched…”

Evie and Aiden turned towards them. 

“The next play’s gonna be a musical?” Evie said. “I’ve been wanting to act in a play, but, uh… I don’t think I’m ready for one that involves singing…”

Aiden raised an eyebrow at her. “But we’ve literally been doing duets ever since–”

“That’s different. I can sing alright when it’s more casual, but in a professional musical performance? I’m not that good.”

“You should still consider it!” Cher chirped. “If not an acting role, you can always still be an assistant director or a techie…”

“That sounds much more my speed.”

Cher turned to Aiden. “You should definitely consider trying out for a singing role, though!”

Aiden put his hand on his chin thoughtfully. “It could be fun… I know Evie doesn’t want to sing in a musical, but imagine if we got lead roles together…”

“Oh, perhaps I could be convinced now…” Evie said, before smirking playfully. “But, let’s be real. Put Aiden in the musical, and he’ll probably just upstage all the other singers with how good he is. He’ll make everyone else look like chumps.”

“Hey!” Cher exclaimed, her face scrunching up into a pout. “Are you saying I sing like a chump?”

“What– no, I–” Evie’s face fell. 

Cher dropped her pout and grinned again. “Kidding! You probably have a point… I do sing every now and then, but it could use a little more work. Especially since I’m planning to go for an acting role in the musical, of course.”

“Well, if we can’t get Aiden in a singing role for the musical, perhaps he can be a musical director and help coach the actors who are a little more inexperienced?” Ajay suggested. 

“Actually… that’s a great idea!” Aiden said, his face lighting up. “I’d love to do that!”

Ajay beamed. “Oh, perfect! We’ll talk to Mr. Olson on Monday.”

“I’ll need some time to think about it… but I’ll let you know if I do decide to accept.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ajay reached his hand out, and he and Aiden shook hands. “Anyways, great job on your performance, Aiden! And happy birthday, Evie!”

“Yeah! Happy birthday, Evie!!!” cheered Cher. 

“Aww, thank you both so much!” 

Evie gave each of them a warm hug before they walked off. Aiden placed his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek, and she turned back to him.

“Thank you so much, Aiden. For being the best boyfriend ever, and for giving me this awesome birthday.” 

“It’s my pleasure~” Aiden hugged her tighter. “But… there’s still more, of course. Ready to enjoy the rest of your birthday party?”

“Oh yes!”

#choices stories you play #choices #choices stories we play fandom #choices game #high school story #choices stories we play #hss #choices hss #choices high school story #aiden zhou #aiden x mc #mc x aiden #hss aiden #evie x aiden #aiden x evie #high school story aiden #evie ayana (og hss mc) #hss mc #og hss f!mc #og hss mc #hss f!mc #cadybear's fanfics #cadybear writes

[sweetblossoms]

saw your post abt rapunzel manipulating tim in their convo and god hard agree it Is concerning that so many ppl didn't see it. also crazy to me that ppl are mad at tim and defending rapunzel, saying that they would have taken the book too because tim was being rude etc. to me it seemed that both tim the character and ally the player Wanted to believe that rapunzel wasn't part of the plan and was good but just kind of strange, and both are successfully fooled. tim absolutely fumbles the interaction and ally could have played things better, but rapunzel was so clearly in charge of the conversation, leading him into saying worse and worse things and putting his foot in his mouth while tim was genuinely trying to be nice. tim is awkward and blunt and eccentric with Everyone, it's weird that ppl are saying he was being singularly rude to her or patronizing her or that he deserved to get the book taken. that interaction was clumsy as hell and so many words could have been chosen better but tim so clearly was trying so hard to fix his initial fuck up and be friendly w her in the same weird way he talks to everyone. I don't see how ppl came out of that scene on her side even if tim was a little rude and unfortunate w his word choice, and it's concerning to see ppl being like "ha take that stupid old man!!" abt the book being taken + in defense of a character we met an episode and a half ago and who we have been told outright is an expert at deceiving people. the princesses are so so interesting as characters and the morals going on are complex and that's a whole different conversation, but I feel like no matter whether you love rapunzel or not, ppl should be able to recognize that she was manipulating tim in that moment and taking advantage of his trusting disposition. not trying to start discourse in your ask box ofc!!! I've just seen No One Else express discomfort w rapunzel in that scene

anon this ask has been living in my head rent free since you sent it, i've been stewing over how to respond because y e s. for context, check out this post to save discourse on main (this is about to be a long one of fan critic analysis, get your popcorn and settle in if you wanna read, this is the longest post i've ever made), im gonna put my thoughts and response under a read more, sososo many spoilers under the cut read at your own risk

These were all in the replies and tags and I want to reply to all of them bc they're all worthy of being talked about bc i feel like the majority of the fandom is almost scared to critique?? So like let's talk about it since nobody else seems to be taking this approach from what I can tell (thank you to you anon for being on my side as well as the rest of you who are screaming with me) I will begin by saying that my original post is not critiquing ally the player, or any of the other players. i understand that they were in that dome, filming a session of dungeons and dragons, and improv acting and roleplaying for many hours on end with back to back episodes. i kind of get ally and the rest of the table maybe just wanting to "hope for the best", especially ally as they are quite a "hope for the good in others" type of person. it's frustrating from a viewer perspective sure, but i totally dont blame anyone ever for making a "wrong" or "non-optimal" choice while playing a ttrpg, they just have the misfortune of being filmed while doing so. i myself have made tons of bag fumbles while playing dnd, even when i thought everything through ten times over. so anything i have said or will say forward isn't to put any shouldering on to the people playing these silly storybook characters, like, i Get It

What i do want to critique is the fan response, which is the more worrying one!!! like i said in my original post, i was surprised by my d20 watch buddy having a similar response to ally. the total "oh, maybe she's just quirky bc of the self isolation, maybe she's autism rep" approach. my friend, love her to death, is also one of those "sees the best in others and hope everyone is always aiming to be their best selves" type of person, very similar to ally. i came online after that episode expecting everybody on the fanbase level to be screaming with me in a "i told you so!!" way

instead. i came online and saw people just on the attack and the defense in absolutely skewed ways!! out of NOWHERE, all these fans have come on to post about how "tim was patronizing her, and thats why she stole the book" "wow i would have hated being called girly and honey as well" "wow these conversations really didnt go their way why was tim so mean to her :(" or the opposite of "rapunzel is the evilest person to ever exist bc xyz these princesses are evil villains" or "we need to protect these princesses bc they just didnt know any better uwu"

i feel like, on a fan level, me and you anon (+all these lovely folks in the notes of that post) were the only ones screaming "hold on, that is literally not the same media i just watched"

i've seen before a lot of people be like "wow, media literacy is at an all time low" and i never really understood that until i saw the reactions after that episode. as a fan or viewer watching any media, we have the privilege of seeing more about the media than the people who are creating it. that's the best joy of being a viewer, we get to sit back and spot those foreshadowing moments and bite our nails in suspense when the music goes creepy and see the artwork and overall, we have the privilege of catching vibes that maybe those acting in it do not. this leads to those bonding moments of "i told you so" "wow im biting my nails and pacing" "oh they're gonna REGRET that". and, an "oh my god no no no do not hug her she wants to take your book god now she's feeling you up with her hair she's looking for the book ROLL INITIATIVE!!!!". it leads to glorious moments of ~dramatic irony~, a literary term for literally when something is happening in a story and the readers can catch it, but the protagonist probably didnt bc they're not seeing the full picture. While watching, from my perspective, yeah it was frustrating to watch the player bag fumble turn after turn, but it's a game of dnd, they film so many back to back, they don't get the same experience as us. however.

brennan did a great job at dropping the foreshadowing, to the point of not even so much subtly foreshadowing, he DIRECTLY TOLD THEM rapunzel was a liar and uses her words as knives. like someone pointed out, the players even PAID for that information, with the golden bridle. by the time they met these princesses, they probably knew the most about rapunzel's true nature over all the other princesses, that she uses her charisma to her advantage. the players made their choice to do the diplomatic route, to split up and chat. ally did the right thing for picking rapunzel with tim's 19 charisma stat, it would have been charisma against charisma, and an even playing field for someone they have been explicitly told is a master of words and deceit.

as fans, we've seen these episodes edited and put back to back. clues are lined up in a row. was it frustrating to see ally playing tim in a naïve way? sure. but tim's been pretty naïve this whole time, so you could stack it up to a character choice. what's more frustrating is seeing the responses of viewers being blindsided by the book thieving and chalking it all up to "evil vs good" and rapunzel's choice shaking them to their cores.

by this point in the story, by the time you get to that episode, rapunzel already gave enough bad vibes with the talk of her charismatic deceits and with her hair everywhere spying on them. maybe that last one wasn't explicitly stated, but it was heavily implied to the point of gerard writing the plans on a note instead of wanting them said out loud by elody, a scene that happened way before tim's. by the time we see rapunzel get to the kitchen, she is INSTANTLY catty. someone described her on the post as "eldritch regina george" and. yes. exactly. eldritch regina george. from our privileged spot as a viewer, rapunzel comes in, puts on the fake smile, puts on her fake tone, and says "what are you doing in here? :)". she was already ready to fight timothy. that first sentence was hostile. she was OFFENDED and checking on tim to make sure mother goose wasn't counter-spying. i honestly didnt think that would have to have been explicitly stated, she was in attack mode and plastered the fake smile for a show so that she had the upperhand in the conversation that was about to happen. this is something that fans should have at least caught on to right off the bat, we've been explicitly told that she is fake more than she is honest for the sake of being a "performative person"

the conversation happens, and she starts becoming more verbally hostile. "i dont know, what SHOULD we do hehe. it's ruined now :)" "no use in crying over spilt milk *pours milk with hair on the floor with a smile* oh no :)" "...or if it was on purpose :/ :)" "why dont you go get a mop :)" "i chose to be charming :)"

every sentence she replied with was carefully chosen. as viewers, we can watch brennan's face in full clarity of intimidation. we can have the knowledge that has been provided to not trust rapunzel as she is a charismatic spy who has words for knives. in my opinion, even without those clues before now, her show that she put on in the kitchen should have been enough as is to show that she is acting maliciously and with hostility. the smile is there as to not incite physical violence on tim's part bc then it would make TIM look like the bad guy if he attacked first. by the time she goes in for the hug. im sorry. but ally the player should have caught that, the whole table should have caught that, and-more importantly-the fans should have caught that. we all watched the same thing. we have all been told the same information. to purposefully ignore all of the red flags just to pull a "well tim was kind of mean and patronizing, and rapunzel doesnt have social skills from being locked in a tower, i forgive her, wow i didnt see that coming" is absolutely *batshit*

the lack of people catching on is what concerns me. i've met TONS of people growing up (sorry here, im all for women's wrongs, but mainly cis-girls tbh) who act like rapunzel does. from middle school and high school bullies/mean girls. mean girls at college. from parents or teachers or bosses. from normal adults in my life. they always have the same tone and inflections in the same places. the same faces with the wrinkled nose. the same sickly sweet smile. brennan played rapunzel, a known manipulator, perfectly. to a T. he embodied it fully. people JUST LIKE RAPUNZEL walk amongst us every day. i can guarantee you that even these fans that didnt catch it have met people like rapunzel in their own lives.

rapunzel is a character yes, but she is a character that mimics a masterclass manipulator. she IS the mean girl, the regina george. it leaked out of her every word, tone, and inflection. every single thing told about her and shown was, in no world, some "uwu the sweet bean was locked in a tower and doesnt have social skills". that was her origin, her start point. just like sleeping beauty locked in a castle, snow locked in her coffin. rapunzel directly says "i chose to be charming. :)." she had her origin of no social skills, her sad origin of being locked in isolation in her tower, and said "this is my greatest flaw, so i am going to dedicate my life to improving this skill bc it's what stopping me from achieving my goals." she trained her social skills to be good. too good. so good that she hopes nobody will catch her sweet charming self in the act of malicious intentions. this. was. directly. stated.

it worries me on a psychological level of the fans. yes it shows a lack of media literacy, something is frustrating on a fan-to-fan level. it shows a lack of ability of critical thinking. it shows a lack of ability to participate in dramatic irony, a necessary literary device to instill tension into a horror campaign. but also, and to what is probably my main point in this novel long hot take: it has real world implications. mean girls like rapunzel are a guarantee in life. i'm sorry, but it's true. maybe the person acts differently, maybe they aren't as obvious or more obvious. but these people walk amongst us. they use the same tone and same cadence to their words. these manipulators see what they want, and devise a way to convince the person into giving them what they want. rapunzel did not use the Charm Person spell, or the Friendship spell. She used. her words. like a normal human being. and by doing so, we as the fans were able to catch on and should have had a moment of "RUN GOOSE, RUN AWAY, NO DONT LET HER HUG YOU". but instead, a lot of people turn a blind eye to these manipulators in their lives. they pull a "aw but they have a tragic backstory, they're just confused and need love :/" "they cant be THAT bad..." they see a sweet little smile on the face and an upticked tone of voice, and go "well, they're playing nice, so now i have to play nice bc otherwise im the bad guy here" which!!! you do not!!

this is exactly how manipulators worm their ways in, this is what ALLOWS manipulation to work in its various forms. it's how people get trapped in abusive relationships. it's how people get scammed. on a personal end, i lived a narcissistic manipulator for a long time growing up, and it was exhausting. once you could put down the rose colored glasses and see right through the act, you notice how every inch of their mannerisms are performative. everything they say and do comes with the caveat of them wanting something from you and are trying to butter you up in the meantime. if you catch and call onto it, they IMMEDIATELY turn on you, they sneer and retreat to their next target who it will fool. the cycle continues, the next target is selected.

on a fan level, if we as fans cannot play into dramatic irony as a practice, if we cannot exit our seats of mind to catch on to those "eldritch regina george" quirks at the bud in a piece of fictional media where the puzzle has been handed on a silver platter, then there is a l o t more work to be done on 1) general media literacy 2) ANY fandom perception on media and 3) general awareness of how to spot and deal with manipulators in real life. if you can't catch on to it in a silly fictional ttrpg media, how do you expect to catch on to it in real life? how many of these same fans are trapped in manipulative relationships around them? how many more will they fall for bc of the "oh no but they have tragic backstory so it's forgiven uwu"? as fans, you cant sit there in the same breath saying that tim was condescending to rapunzel and then follow it up with not noticing what was ACTUALLY happening in real time. if you wanna say that rapunzel was ALLOWED to be a manipulator because of her origin, what other manipulators are you defending in your real life? how many of these manipulators continue their tricks BECAUSE they know naïve people exist and will fall for it? how many have been enabled in the same cycle bc it worked on one so it'll work on the next?

i wish i had a fun way to conclude this absolutely massive chunk of fandom critique gibberish, but i just dont. i wish i could find a more comprehensive way to scream about this, so take this post as me SCREAMING about this, anon my dm's are open if we wanna rant some more

#i havent entered fandom discourse in awhile in ANY fandom but this one has been bothering me so fucking much #tldr anon my messages are open if you wanna scream with me some more #anon #ask #neevrafter spoilers #neverafter #d20 #dimension 20 #d20 spoilers

[skitskatdacat63]

Tysm for the tags @monacobasedgirldad @schumigrace @fernandoalonzoo sry im a bit late getting to this lol

Are you named after anyone?

My great great grandmother(I think??), though she was named Katarzyna, and I was born Catherine, but go by Catie obviously(this lowkey annoys my mom lmao, especially bcs if I were to have a nickname, it was supposed to be Cate.)

When was the last time you cried?

Today, over classical music. I think I cry at least once a day 😭 I am very emotional

Do you have kids?

Nope :)

What sports did you play/have you played?

I played soccer when I was a kid. Also does marching band count?

Do you use sarcasm?

All the fucking time, literally constantly. And also we sarcastically bully each other in my family, so I have to pull myself back from accidentally insulting people 😭

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmmm, I feel like ive done this tag game before bcs I remember writing this exact answer. But usually I notice if someone is a good conversationalist or not. Like do they like to lead the convo, do they like to listen to the other people, do they talk too much, too little, are they awkward about it? It's just very interesting to me, bcs I think that kinda thing really does instantly show you if you're going to be compatible with a person(as a friend or more etc.) Cause I talk a lot a lot, and I think it's difficult to get along w people who are untalkative but also people who talk an equal amnt if not more djkfkglg.

What is your eye color?

Just brown!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies definitely. I mean im not opposed to a happy ending obviously, but that's not really what im always looking for in a movie, I guess? Rn I'm trying to think of my top movies, and man, not a lot of them have happy endings 😭 But I literally just watched two horror movies the past wknd so! Even though they make me paranoid

Any talents?

I think I could go on a rant about anything if you gave me a bit of time. I really think I can just talk endlessly. Is that a skill? Or is it just annoying..? But yeah I'm not sure, but I think I'm pretty good at absorbing information and being able to go on and on about it.

Where were you born?

America rahhh 🦅🦅 I like my state a lot even though I feel like all my peers keep saying "ugh I don't want to be in [insert state] anymore" Smh how dare you

What are your hobbies?

Mostly drawing! I draw both F1 fanart(pretty much all selfmade AUs tho) and ocs. I like writing lore and worldbuilding and meta, but not really writing itself. I like reading fic and watching movies as well. And I think one of the main things I do these days tbh is read about history and keep up with politics. I get more and more involved with it as the days go by, but unlike drawing, I don't really have an outlet for it sigh sigh. So that's why a lot of AUs involve history and random other things, bcs its fun to involve my interests with each other!

Do you have any pets?

Yes I do! Two cats and two dogs. The cats are named Jin and Frank. Jin is basically me in cat form, he's so anxious 😭 and Frank is like my brother, he's such a little bastard who loves to hiss all the time. My dogs are named Maisie and Ruby. Maisie is a menace to society, but she is also the most beautiful dog ever, so I forgive her. Her name makes me laugh bcs she's named after this book character, Maisie Dobbs right? So her name tag says Maisie Doggs

How tall are you?

Around 5'4

Favorite subject at school?

Politics >:) But I'm pretty interested in philosophy as well rn. Unfortunately my love for foreign languages has been slipping in the semester or so, bcs my professors on that side kinda suck. So I've been putting more energy into my other major, and now all I can talk about is history, politics and philosophy, etc etc. It's just a lot of fun and very interesting to me!

Dream job?

Man, sometimes I wish I could just be a student forever, I just want to keep learning all about the world and other things. But I'd like a job that's not too static, something that pushes me out into the world a bit, maybe smth in the government or like a non-profit idk yet!

Ahhhh I'm doing this a bit late so I'm not sure who's done it yet, I feel like mostly everyone has :,) I tag anyone who's interested, like seriously I'd love to see people's answers who I haven't yet!!

#every text post of mine is actually just a cry for help(for someone to let me ramble and rant to them) #I HAVE TOO MANY WORDS #the real reason i often slack on tag games like this is bcs my answers will be too long djfkkgg #also i hate how theres still this latent fear in me doing these that im doxxing myself or smth #i still hesitate giving my full name and all that #scawy!!!! even tho ive def mentioned it i think #catie.rambling.txt

[dissociatingdumbass]

Got tagged by @mondengel2 for the character ask:

Byakuya, Rukia and Ichigo

How I feel about this character

All the people I ship romantically with this character

My non-romantic OTP for this character

My unpopular opinion about this character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Byakuya

1)

It's my favourite of all of the Bleach characters. Really obsessed, not gonna lie. Love his character and the evolution he had during the series.

2)

Ichigo. Only Ichigo.

They're perfect for each other, because Byakuya doesn't need to be protected and neither does Ichigo. They're equals. They're personalities are very complementary. They just fit well.

3)

I never really put much thought into it, because Byakuya is difficult to have close relationship. He's been evolving a lot as a big brother to Rukia. If we're taking out the OTP thingie and just use the word friends or even BFFs, I'd say (in my series) he becomes quite close with Inoue (after therapy). He'd also have a very cool bond with Karin over their respective husbands...

4)

He's autistic and demisexual. I HC all Shinigami as being naturally Pansexual, so... (Isshin is just a fucking idiot who spent too much time in the World of the Living)

I also don't think he was really, really in love with Hisana. I think he was young and obsessed. If she hadn't fallen ill and died, that marriage wouldn't have lasted anyway.

5)

More backstory. An on screen definite cut with Hisana's presence in his life. (she was a heavy anchor and some of you still ship them, like people don't have the right to heal and move on...)

I wish he had been the one to go with Ichigo to fight Yhwach.

I wish we had more story about what happened in the Royal Realm.

I wish people would stop saying he should have died... No he shouldn't have!

Rukia

1)

I like her a lot. She's a tomboy. She's aggressive and rispid at times. She's got a good heart and she's powerful. She's a dork... Just like her brother.

2)

Currently, Renji... Because in the end (even with that awkward beginning) they do match perfectly. And Renji evolved a lot during the entire series.

I had a time when I thought she'd be good with Inoue, but then I started to change my mind.

3)

Ichigo is her absolutely non romantic other half.

They bounce off of each other in hilarious ways sometimes. They have a good rapport and they absolutely trust each other.

4)

Do I even have one?

Only in the background she's given... Which is none. We don't even know how she survived being dumped in the middle of the street (anime) or in the middle of nothing, against a tree (manga). There had to be someone who found her and took her in in those first years. Babies don't survive on their own.

The Prologue doesn't exist for me, so I'm not even going there...

5)

I wish they would have shown in more detail the evolution of her relationship with Byakuya. I'd like to see them being shown more as the close siblings they should have been from the start.

I wish we'd seen a contrite apology from Renji for being an asshole towards her in the beginning.

Ichigo

1)

Whereas Byakuya is my awkward, autistic, demisexual ass... Ichigo is my short fused temper,my sarcasm and my wish I could just help and protect everyone around me. (except I'm... just me...)

He's the best Main Character ever, for me.

His essence is in his name.

2)

Byakuya. No one else, ever...

When I started Bleach I wasn't even focusing on pairings. I like the story and the battles.

The Lost Agent Arc was what made me go "Hold up! What?" And then I went back and analysed every single interaction between Ichigo and Byakuya!

They're so perfect for each other!

Byakuya's growth is solely due to Ichigo being in his life.

It's the way he crash landed on the raven hair's life and changed it for the better. And Ichigo also learned and evolved into a better person and better warrior because of Byakuya's influence in his life. I mean Young Tensa even looks like Byakuya! (No. Not Yhwach. You're wrong.)

3)

Rukia.

For all the reasons mentioned prior. They're going to be such chaotic in-laws... (in my series)

4)

That man is gay... He's also Ace.

People think he should have pressed Isshin into saying the truth during those 17 months. I think what he did was indirectly say "I'm giving you the chance to come clean on your own." and when Isshin didn't, he didn't press the subject because he's prideful and stubborn. It was a test and Isshin failed... As per usual...

5)

He should have stayed in the Soul Society right after the Quincy War.

He should have been honest at that point and say in no uncertain terms that he absolutely HATED the normal life everyone in the World of the Living seemed to think he should want.

He should have become a full fledged Shinigami in the 11th squad.

And Kubo should have been a better writer and not have punished Ichigo with that fraud of an ending.

(He also should have been shown decades afterwards and be either shown or implied that he was with Byakuya... But that's just my representation starving ass because I'm tired of heterosexuality in media.)

Tagging @the-winds-of-kushala (going multifandom here) : Kenpachi/ Ben Tennison/ Dazai

@bothzangetsus : Shinji/ Renji/ Unohana

@ichijager13 : Oskar Von Reuenthal/ Yang Wenli/ Dusty Attenborough

#asks #fandom asks #character asks

[eroseas]

eventually. [ellie williams] 3/5

other parts:

pt. 1

pt. 2

pairing: ellie/fem!reader

word count: 2k

cw: not proofread.

tags: n/a

an: ellie on a motorcycle.... im a fuckin genius.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

In all honesty, you probably should’ve seen it coming.  

Ellie is nothing if not relentless; obsessive. Everyday it was a new question, like it was her sole purpose in life to know every little thing about you. You suppose it’s fitting. One time, this girl– Abby– had picked a fight with Joel, claiming her dad was the one who he fucked over back in the day. She left Joel with a bloody nose and bruised eye. It took Ellie maybe 72 hours to have this girl’s entire life story laid out in front of her; printed pictures of her with her friends, links to Abby and her friends’ Instagram accounts, her address for fucks sake. Dina and Jesse had laughed their asses off, but you had watched Ellie. There was a glint in her eye. A proud one. 

It was unnerving. 

Realistically, you knew Ellie wouldn’t do that to you unless you gave her a reason to. It’s probably why she asks so many damn questions. She’s doing it the nice and socially acceptable way.

What’s your favorite movie? She’d ask, what about your favorite show? 

You told her everything; your hobbies, your interests, your favorite kind of flowers even though you really didn’t have one but she insisted that you had to pick one. You ended up picking tulips to settle her down. She asked about your family, but quickly took the hint that you really weren't interested in talking about that. You talked more about your cat than you did your parents. She asked why you moved.

You sigh, an amused grin on your face.

“How ‘bout you take me to dinner first, Ells? Kind of feels like half of an interrogation and half of a first date.” You joke, shaking your head. She ends up freezing where she stands, having just gotten up to grab a water bottle. You adjust yourself on her couch, wincing, thinking you made the wrong joke. 

Ever since Dina’s birthday, it’s been a little off. The flirty jokes have fallen flat, if Ellie’s face is anything to go by. It was tough, after getting into a little rhythm with her, it just didn’t work out. You had kept your mouth shut pretty well up until now, but Ellie just looks like a deer caught in headlights. You clear your throat, trying to make it less awkward. 

That gets her going again, a very late chuckle following after. She walks over to her kitchen to rummage her fridge for a water bottle, and you keep to yourself on the couch, twisting a ring over and over again on your finger. She sits back down after a little while, closer than before, and that serves as a kind of comfort that she wouldn’t have expected. 

She had invited you over to watch The Martian, or “The greatest movie of all time.” as she likes to put it. She had watched it a few years ago with Joel when it came out in the theaters, and ever since then, she’s watched it every year. 

She settles back comfortably, and for the entire movie, you don’t move. It’s too good. The drama, the space facts, the humor. She still laughs at the jokes like it's the first she’s ever heard them, and she even mouths along with the main character at times. It’s the most heart warming sight. Ellie Williams: Space Nerd Extraordinaire. You grin at her when the movie finishes up. 

“So?” She questions expectantly, “Wasn’t that the best movie in the history of movies?” 

You hold your hands up in defeat, nodding your head.

“It was a really great movie, for sure.” 

Ellie smiles at you, now, content. You can’t help but look at her, really look at her. She’s too pretty, you decide, way too fucking pretty. She’s all soft lines and warmness. A kind of comfort you find in the sun. She’s not making this any easier for you. Digesting your feelings has been rather difficult and constantly finding new things you like about her has been putting you in a tough spot, emotionally. On one hand, this girl just dumped her ex, like, three weeks ago. At most. The same night she dumped her you grinded up against her at the damn club. Even if she was reciprocating the flirting, and even if it seemed mutual, she’s clearly not interested now. 

You clear your throat, realizing you just bummed yourself out. You smile sheepishly, nodding your head towards the door. 

“I should go.” 

Ellie falters, her mouth falling open, but you stand quickly. As much as you want to be around her, to stay in her apartment and lay on her couch, you need some time to yourself. Ellie is becoming a little too perfect. This is dangerous territory, and falling for someone who isn’t looking for something serious isn’t the smartest thing to do.

“Wait, uh–” She stands, stepping towards you. She glances off to the side and lets out a breath. You stop to let her speak, and she throws you a small nervous smile.

“Listen,” she starts, “I really like you, so I don’t wanna fuck this up. Would you wanna go to dinner tomorrow night?”

It’s a very simple question. Literally just a yes or no. You stare, though, because holy shit. You were just going on and on about how she wasn’t even interested and yet, here she is surprising you. You look over her features, and note the way she pulls at her own fingers. You smile at her and nod, a happiness radiating off of you. She lets out a relieved sigh, nodding a little bit, too.

“I’d love to, Ells.” You say for good measure, grabbing your keys from her kitchen counter. You move towards the door and she hurries to open it for you. 

“Great, awesome,” she rambles, “I’ll stop by at seven to pick you up, yeah?” 

You chuckle at her, a blush blanketing your cheeks. You can’t help it. It’s been so long since you’ve gone on a proper date, and here’s Ellie, arguably the most attractive girl you’d had the pleasure of befriending, and she’s asking you out to dinner. And she’s gonna pick you up. At your door. You lean over to give her a very quick peck on the cheek, smiling, unable to contain it.

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

You’re looking so forward to it that you don’t even know what to do with yourself for the rest of the night. You had eaten dinner, showered, even done some homework. Now, it’s twelve in the morning and you can’t fall asleep. It takes a while; the overthinking and the butterflies in your tummy making you so overwhelmed you have to kick your feet into your mattress. You laugh quietly, noticing how childish it is to freak out about being asked out. But, then again, it comforts you. The ability to be so aware of something like this; about being able to experience something so pure. It warms you.

The next day goes by as slow as you had expected. The excitement of your date with Ellie made it impossible to stop looking at the clock. You’d spent some time with Jesse, studying for your next psych exam. You couldn’t stop shaking your leg the whole time, and eventually, Jesse had questioned you, half-worried and half-nosy.

“I can’t say,” you’d grinned as you shook your head, “I need it to go well first.”

He’d whined a little after the fact, deeming it unfair that you weren’t sharing with the class. After studying, you’d realize you should get Ellie some flowers, because hello, this is a date. Can’t show up empty handed. You settled on lilies, because you remember reading somewhere that they mean devotion. Once it finally became an acceptable hour to start getting ready, you showered and did your hair. Ellie didn’t mention where dinner would take place but you figured something casual would suffice. Once you finished getting ready, you hurriedly applied some lip balm ‘cause y’know, you never know. 

You glanced at the clock on the stove, and flinched when you heard a knock on the door. 

Right on time. 

You grabbed your purse and the flowers, and opened the door without hesitation. 

You look up to see Ellie, dressed in jeans and a nice jacket. You distantly recognize that it looks like her leather jacket, but forget the thought quickly. She rubs her left hand on the back of her jeans and smiles, her cheeks rosy. Her hair is pulled back half-up, and the flowers in her right hand make you snort, but it makes you melt, too. Tulips. She remembered.

“Lesbians think alike, I guess?” You playfully question, holding out the bouquet you got her, and she blushes. She hands you yours, and you hand off the lilies you got her. While you sniff the tulips, she does the same thing with her own flowers, though, you suspect she’s just trying to hide her blush from you. You motion for her to come inside, and you quickly put your flowers in a vase. You offer to do the same for her and she accepts gratefully, mumbling about not remembering how to. 

Once that’s finished, you both start to head out, and you pause when you look over at the helmet Ellie is grabbing from the railing next to your door. You raise an eyebrow at her.

“We’re going on your bike?” You ask, and she grins, nodding excitedly. You’d always loved that thing. The way Ellie straddled it and the way she looked in her leather riding jacket was beyond words. It’d made your mouth water every time she showed up on her motorcycle. You still remember one of the early interactions you had with her, where she was sitting on her bike wearing a tank top, with her hair up and a popsicle in her hand. It was a little summer get together that Dina and Jesse had invited you to, and she just so happened to be chilling out front. You blink, bringing yourself back to the present. 

“Lead the way.” You chuckle, and you both skip down the stairs. Once you get down there, she grabs your hand and tugs you close. You glance at the bike, noting her other leather jacket draped over the seat. You bring yourself to stare into her eyes, watching the way they trace your features. She tucks a bit of your hair behind your ears, holding the spare helmet up.

“It’s gonna squish your ears a bit,” she warns, “But it'll keep you safe.” You nod your head, holding still as she helps you put the helmet on. Once she makes sure it's on you correctly, she holds up her leather jacket that you like so much, and you try not to smile too hard.

Putting it on engulfs you in her smell; the cologne she likes to use and the soap she gets. She zips it up for you, patting imaginary dust off your shoulders.

“Lookin’ good, pretty girl.” She grins cheekily, quickly putting on her own helmet. She throws a leg over her bike and gets comfortable. You nearly drool when you notice she’s tugging on her gloves, but manage to not embarrass yourself. She starts the bike, and backs it out of her parking spot. She looks over at you, her visor already down and pats the space behind her. 

You take that as your cue and copy her previous actions, swinging a leg over. She holds you both up on the bike while you adjust yourself, and you wrap your arms around her. 

She shakes her head a bit, and tilts her head back as if to look at you. 

“Tighter, baby.” She says, and you curse silently, adjusting your grip. 

“Atta girl.” 

You let out a shuddering breath, trying to ignore the muscles you can feel in her abdomen. 

This was gonna be a long night.

#ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams the last of us #ೃ⁀➷; eroseas writes #eventually; elliesquerida

[neon-junkie]

Why can’t this be Love? - Chpt.9

Summary: You’ve never really fit in, despite trying, despite being on the cheerleading team, despite awkwardly socialising with the popular crowd. It’s not for you - these people aren’t for you. Yet, you don’t know how to escape! Do you continue following a dead end? Or finally break away?

The answer is made for you after your ‘date,’ a boy on the basketball team, bails on you, and uninvites you from some stupid basketball after party. Whatever, that’s fine. But what’s not fine is the agonisingly long walk home. Oh, in the dark, late at night!

However, your saviour finds you, and not only does he save you from walking home alone, but the conflicting feelings that you’ve spent the last few years with.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Cheerleader Reader

Reader Description: Reader is female and uses she/her pronouns. Not much detail is given about her appearance, other than she wears heavy eyeliner, and is clearly an outcast that is trying to fit in.

Word count: 2k

Tags: Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Slow burn, Awkward flirting, Drinking, Angst, Comfort, Generic High School Bullying, Denial of feelings, Feelings realisation.

[Chapter 1]  [Read on AO3]  [Chapter 10]

Notes: Sorry for the small delay in posting. I've been ill recently with ??? a virus ??? food poisoning ??? babygirl I have no idea, but I'm mostly back to full health!! This is a somewhat short chapter to build up to another juicy one >:3 Also, thank y'all for all the love and support!! I'm really happy to hear that I'm writing Eddie in character. I re-watched S4 whilst I was ill, so that's helped me get into his vibe even more. Also, that boy totally has ADHD, and I love that because omgsammeeee!!!

Chapter 9 - Fury

Swinging your backpack over your shoulder, you finally leave the house, storming around the corner to where Eddie's van is parked, waiting to carpool you to school. The grip on your shoulder straps are tighter than they've ever been, burning the fabric into ash as rage and fury consume your body.

Grounded - really? Fucking hell, how old do they think you are? Twelve?!

Eddie can sense your frustration as he notices you stomping over. He rolls the window down and calls out, "everything okay, Princess?"

"You're not going to believe this," you scoff, and climb up into his van, accidentally closing the passenger door rather aggressively.

Eddie doesn't seem to mind, too fixated on your current mood. He turns the music down and awaits your rant, which is visually bubbling over through your expression, bursting at the seems.

"I'm grounded," you scoff. Your eyes widen in bewilderment, in pure shock that they have the audacity to attempt such a thing! You turn and look at Eddie, ready to begin your unruly vent, when the sight of a bruise on his face causes your thoughts to sway far off track. "Eddie, your eye-" you point out.

"-It's fine, Princess," Eddie scoffs with a light wave of his hand. "I'm sure Jason's balls look much worse."

With a soft laugh, you reach across and place your fingertips beneath Eddie's chin. He allows you to tilt his head, analysing the blotches and light swelling just above his cheek bone from where Jason punched him the night prior. It's far tamer than you imagined, and can hopefully be covered up by his wild curls and choppy bangs.

Hopefully.

"Did you put ice on it?" you question, moving your hand away.

"Peas, Sweetheart. Ice is a luxury that this man cannot afford," he grins. Eddie's expression relaxes as he gestures to you whilst asking, "So, uh, back to the main plot line here?"

"...oh, yeah! I'm grounded," you scoff, returning to your previous enraged state.

"Grounded?" Eddie repeats with a raised brow and an uncertain laugh, as if he didn't hear your words right. "As in, mommy and daddy said you can't hang out with your friends tonight?"

"Exactly!" you practically screech, your hand flailing with frustration. "I am old enough to drive, and own a property, but they still think I'm groundable?!"

Eddie lets out a nervous chuckle, soaking in the situation. Shit, at least he has a minor advantage to practically living alone, forever ungroundable, let alone untameable! "Why?" Eddie ponders. "What happened?"

You take in a deeeeep breath, your eyes fluttering shut as you inhale, only for them to finally open once you've exhaled. Your bunched up fists flex out, and you rest them on your thighs as you attempt to steady your anger. "Where do I begin?" you say with a fake laugh, acting all sweet and innocent.

"So, my grandparents came over last night after school, and my parents told me to come home early that morning so I could see them. Well, I obviously missed that," you sigh, gritting your teeth as you speak.

Eddie remains silent, waiting for you to lead up to the breaking point...

"My grandparents didn't mind, but my parents did! And to make things worse, the School called, and informed them about the little altercation that I got into..." you mock, putting a babyish tone on through your exaggerated words.

"Shit," Eddie curses under his breath. His hand comes up to rub his face, and only now do you realise that the faint thumping sound in the background is Eddie's foot subconsciously tapping against the floor.

"Yeah, shit indeed," you nod. "They made it clear that they're 'not mad at me,'" you explain with hand quotation marks, "but I did 'assault a girl,' which is the main reason why I need to be 'punished.'"

"Assault? Punished?!" Eddie scoffs, feeling nothing but empathy and rage. He shifts about in his seat, and takes in a swift deep breath, calming his nerves before he can consider storming back into your house and cursing your parents out. "Britney started on you, babe. Do your parents-"

"-yeah, they know exactly what happened," you interrupt, knowing exactly what Eddie was about to ask. "But they said I should have 'walked away.'" you explain with another set of hand quotation marks, and a mocking tone.

Eddie sucks in another deep breath as his fingers strum against the steering wheel, processing your wild turn of events... and it's barely 7am! "Walked away, huh?" Eddie ponders with a slow nod. "I don't mean to be rude, but uh... aren't your parents a little out of touch?"

"You're tellin' me," you groan. "I mean, my dad did try to argue that I was only defending myself, but my mom is the ruler of the household..."

"Ah," Eddie nods. "As much as I love non-traditional values, it seems that this hasn't been in your favour."

"Yep," you throw your hands up into the air in frustration, although you're no longer seeing red after venting to Eddie. Who knows? Maybe you'll replace Miss Kelly with Eddie, seeing as he's somehow calmed your anger faster than she ever has - as much as you like her!

Another deep sigh trails from your lips, and once you're somewhat perked up, you question his little joke, "non-traditional values?"

"Yeah, you know," Eddie explains with a wave of his hand. "The woman stays at home to cook and clean, whilst the man goes out to earn money, and fuck other women on the side. That kind of shit," he shrugs, and decides that it's time to get a move on. His van rumbles to life, and Eddie's hand finds the clutch as he begins the pesky journey to school.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head in the progress. "So, you'd be fine swapping roles? Cooking and cleaning whilst I go out and make all the cash?"

Eddie snickers with you, "you haven't seen the state of my trailer, Sweetheart."

"You're right," you nod, dreading to think of the unruly mess that his trailer must be in. Well, his uncle's trailer. Surely his Uncle isn't as much of a bum? Eddie, however, looks like the type to live in piles of clutter.

Maybe he'd tidy up, just for you?

"I was... uh," Eddie pauses, and pretends to focus on the road, shifting in his seat. "...I was going to invite you over later, but I guess mommy and daddy don't want you hangin' around with bad boys?"

"Eddie Munson," you chuckle, "you are far from a bad boy!"

Eddie clutches his chest in shock as his mouth gapes open, ever-so-offended at your words! "I'm not a bad boy?" he scoffs. "B-but... my taste in music? And my Satanic style? And I even grew my hair out?!"

The anger that was bubbling in your veins has settled down, and warmth swells up in your chest as you burst out into laugher. "See!" you point. "You are such a sap, Eddie!"

"You think so?" Eddie questions as he raises his brow. He grins when you nod in agreement, and lets out a theatrical sigh. "Phew! That's the image I was aiming for!"

Again and again, you find yourself laughing along with Eddie Munson, Hawkins lead Satanist, the man that brings fear to all with his puppy dog eyes and cheesy smile. How anyone can portray him as a devil is beyond you. Yet, they don't know the real Eddie, or Eddie at all!

Once your laughter has calmed down, Eddie speaks up again. "Seriously, I was going to ask you ou- over! I was going to ask you to come over tonight," Eddie sheepishly chuckles, and mumbles something under his breath about not being awake yet.

"I can't tonight," you shrug, pursing your lips in annoyance.

Eddie ponders as he slows his van down, pulling up to the School's drive away. "Ten points per student?" he questions, vaguely gesturing to the students walking on the path.

"Twenty if they're in our year," you giggle back.

Eddie wickedly grins as he notices a certain someone walking up the path, and rather than doing everybody a favour by running her over, he, instead, honks his horn. Britney, that bitch, jumps higher than the moon at the sudden noise, and tears begin flowing from your eyes as both of you burst into laughter.

Britney knows damn well who's just scared her soul out of her body, (if she even has one,) seeing as Eddie's van is well recognisable. An angry scream can be heard in the distance, "freaks!" which only makes you and Eddie laugh harder.

Parking is a challenge, considering Eddie can barely see through his glossy vision, even after multiple attempts of wiping away his laughter-induced tears. Finally, the engine falls silent, and his curls bounce as he turns to look at you.

"You could sneak out," Eddie wildly states.

You scoff at his suggestion, "not a chance. Have you met my parents?"

"Not yet," Eddie mutters under his breath. His leg begins subconsciously bouncing, and Eddie's fingertips find his rings as he fidgets with them. "How about I sneak in, then?"

Again, you scoff. This isn't a movie, or one of his silly D&D campaigns. A plan like that would never work! There's not a chance that Eddie can sneak in, and if he somehow manages it, he'll be discovered within seconds, seeing as you can't control your laughter around him!

"Still not a chance, Eddie," you sigh, wishing it were possible.

"Your window faces the front of the house, doesn't it?" Eddie queries.

Your eyes narrow suspiciously, "how do you know that?"

Eddie waves his hand through the air as he brushes you off, "I like to watch you sleep, but that's besides the point. There's a flower fence below your window, and little do you know, I'm Hawkins champion at flower fence climbing," Eddie proudly states, and gestures to his unmistakable flower fence climbing build. Clearly he was made for a challenge like this!

Your hands meet your face, and a deep groan escapes your lips as you question Eddie's little game plan. "It's doable," you agree, "but if we're caught, then my parents will turn you into Hawkins most wanted man."

"I'm, uh, pretty certain that I also have that achievement," Eddie says with a wink. "But I'm only going to break in if you want me to."

Your hands cross your chess as you play every scenario out in your mind. Eddie is vaguely likely to be caught climbing the fence, but what concerns you the most is how loud you two are when together. You're constant giggling messes, who struggle to keep the noise down, even more so when tension is running high.

You're bound to get caught, but then again, what if you don't get caught?

What if Eddie romantically sneaks into your bedroom, and spends the night monging out with you?

Do you really want to take the risk?

"Fine," you sigh in agreement. "But I won't be able to bail you out of prison when you get caught."

Eddie shrugs, his curls bouncing with the movement, "That's fine, just visit me from time to time!"

With that, and the sound of the School bell ringing, Eddie springs out of his van, and rushes around to assist you out of the passenger's side. As you take Eddie's hand, climbing down from the totally-not-steep step, Eddie asks, "Does six work for you?"

"My family has dinner at six," you groan.

"Seven?" Eddie suggests.

"Seven, it is."

Tag list: @bubblegumcat229​ @buckys2thicc​ @livthelonleyfish​ @bubblebuttwade​ @sergeantbuckybarnes​ @kik51199​ @preciousbabypeter​ @rosaline-black​ @boundtomyfate​ @be-the-spark-bitch​ @summerofsnowflakesfics​​ @fi-chanwrites​​ @reveller-upon-opium​​ @official-clint-barton​​ @clzt4​​ @chipster-21​​ @dragon-ash13​​ @carliuxima​​ @eddiemattress​​

If you would like to be added to the tag list, then please drop me a message!

#why cant this be love #strangerwriting #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #f!reader #st #stranger things s4 #stranger things 4 #st4 #eddie munson x female reader #eddie the banished #fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

[ashes-writing]

burnin for you pt five | stranger things ; g.emerson

tag babes || questions and requests || rules + fandoms || main masterlist

CHAPTERS ; 

one two three four can be found by clicking.

AUTHORS NOTES;

Holy shit, I was not expecting this one to happen quite the way it did. I think I actually rewrote it ten times or so because I was trying to avoid what ends up happening actually happening just yet. But finally, I just said to hell with it and allowed it. So this isn't a sprint, a jog or a real slow burn anymore, whoopsies? I plan to do more with this, btw. Just so you know, it's not quite over.

You guys and your comments / tags on reblogs and the messages about this story, y'all have me all giddy and happy and like.. I'm just emotions. Can't word. You don't know how much it means to me because literally, my only thought when I post things on here is "Thank fuck, it's not in my brain anymore." so to know people are reading this and they enjoy it.. Ugh, it means the world to me, oh my god. Thank you all so so so much.

SUMMARY;

-- movie night with Gareth -and the rest of Corroded Coffin. Things miiight be getting a little.. uhm.. intense.

PAIRING;

Gareth Emerson x Girly!Soft reader

WARNINGS;

Corroded Coffin being shit talkers + cock blockers. Eddie's living room floor. Swearing. Lots and lots of touching, flirting.. Lots of accidental touches and an awkward boner situation and stuff too. Reminder here. Gareth is aged up to 18. Everyone is of age. JSYK.

TAGLIST ;

@allelitesmut

@aries-arcade

@cole22ann

@hcloangcls

@heyaitsklaudia

@krys-orion

@letsbedragonstogether

@musichealsscars

@scoobiessnacks

@skateb0red

Gareth’s truck pulls to a stop behind Eddie’s van and next to Grant’s mom’s station wagon. As he kills the engine, he gazes over at you. “You’re sure you’re okay with horror movies, right?”

And you’re not, but… He’ll be right there with you. And you did say you were going to try to amp up your own flirting with him, just to see what happens. Just to see if you’re right and Chrissy is wrong or vice-versa. You smile and nod. “I’ve told you four times, tiger. I’m fine with it.” you pause and giggle softly, moving so that you’re right next him on the truck seat, “If I get scared, you’re here.”

Your little giggle and your words go straight to his cock. There’s just something about the tone you’re using. It’s almost flirty, not that he’d know for sure, but… It’s not the way you usually talk to him. It’s softer. Sweeter.

“Are we getting out?” you ask, batting your lashes.

Gareth chuckles quietly and he nods. When he gets out, he reaches up and pulls you to him by your bare thighs, lifting you out of the truck with your legs around his waist and he nearly drops you when you put them there. He bites back a needy whine and takes a deep breath, standing you on your feet. Then he grabs his sleeping bag and slips an arm around you after he’s shut the door. You make your way into the house just as Jeff and Grant are arguing over whether you’ll watch Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street first. 

Grant puts the movie in and Gareth’s got the sleeping bag out. You start out on top of it, wiggling around so you can see the television and the entire time you’re doing it, Gareth is all but biting his fist behind your head and the rest of the guys are about to die laughing about it. You finally get comfortable and he settles in behind you, but this poses a little bit of a problem when it comes to arm placement. A problem that rights itself when not even ten minutes into Nightmare on Elm Street, the first kill is made and you roll to face him before you can stop yourself after squeaking. With your face in his chest, he slips an arm over you and honestly, he could just hold you there for the entire night. You peek up at him and ask in a whisper, “Is this.. Is it okay?”

“It’s fine, bunny.” he mutters, reassuring you as he drags his finger up and down your spine through the soft little tank top you’re wearing. You try to roll over to face the television again and Gareth, to be polite, removes his arm. You pull it back where it was and you do not dare meet his gaze when you do it because you can feel your skin burning. His hand’s flat against your tummy, the palm of it warm and reassuring in it’s weight, the metal of his ring cool against the sliver of skin exposed by where his hand is resting. 

And behind you, Gareth is frantically trying to think of that one thing that’ll remedy the way his cock is about to burst against his jeans. And then you wiggle around just a second or two, this rocks your ass back right against him and his face is flushed. Bright red. He’s just glad you’re not looking at him.

Across the room, Jeff, Eddie and Grant are trying not to die laughing about it.

“Think he’s gonna cream himself?”

“Oh definitely. Our man is not smooth, not at all.”

“Did you see him biting his damn fist a few minutes ago?” Eddie chuckles as he whispers the question. “I almost pissed myself laughing. We really should’ve given him a pep talk.”

“Or a better one. I tried.” Grant shrugs sheepishly, “Ya know me and my stunning lack of experience.”

“Yeah, he called me before he went to get her. Told me that he knows for sure she’s the ‘babysitter’ now. That necklace she’s been looking for all week?” Jeff chuckles and rubs his chin. “He found it in the hamper.. With one of her shirts.”

“Oh wow.” Grant laughs. 

“Shit.” Eddie chuckled. “He say what he was gonna do?”

“All he said was he’s gonna do something.” Jeff shrugs and laughs. “But you know him, man.”

“It better not happen on my goddamn living room floor.” Eddie grumbles.

“Do you really think anybody’s fucking on this floor, Munson?” Grant asks, snickering. “Hasn’t been mopped since like 75.”

“Oh fuck you both.” Eddie glares at his friends and turns his attention back to the movie.

You roll to face him again when Freddie appears out of nowhere. “I hate jumpscares so much. Just gonna stay like this….” you breathe out against his chest and Gareth chuckles quietly. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks, gazing down at you in concern as he readjusts his arm so that it’s draped over you. You nod and bite your lip. “I told you, meatball. I am fine.” you practically purr the words quietly. “You’re here.”

Gareth flashes you a smirk as he nods. “Just keep lookin at me, bunny. Should be over soon.” he mutters quietly, dragging his fingers through your hair. He tries to shift himself because he’s only getting harder and harder, nothing he’s tried has helped. You bite your lip and look up at him. He wants to die because he knows there’s no damn way you haven’t felt him getting hard.

Just to give himself something to do to take his mind off of that particular situation, he starts to skim his hand over your side. You barely bite back a helpless whine. And you shift closer, melting against him completely. 

As soon as you do this, it feels like the air has been knocked right out of his lungs. His breath catches in his throat and when you start toying with the front of his shirt, he just barely manages to stop a quiet whine. 

He’s snickering quietly and you hit him lightly on the chest as you pout. “It’s not funny.”

“It kind of is.” Gareth mumbles, his gaze settling on your lips intently. So intent that you feel them start to tingle and you can feel yourself starting to get wet all over again. This, in turn, makes you squirmier against him and this has his breath hitching in his throat. He digs his fingers into your body -the frantic thought that maybe it’ll get you still again but that doesn’t work.

The guys have all gone outside to have a smoke and this has left you and Gareth alone in the empty living room. You’re staring up at him intently, a dazed look in your eyes as they fix on his mouth and your hand raises, resting against the column of his neck. He wants to crawl in a hole and die when his mouth opens to say something and he gasps instead.

“G-gareth?” you stammer quietly.

“Yeah?” he mutters, licking his lips.

“N-nevermind.” you lose your nerve to go for it and kiss him.

The thing about this is that he doesn’t. “Fuck it.” he mumbles, mostly to himself. You’d tried to glance back at the tv but you saw another gory scene, so you’re diving again, your head against his chest. He takes a hand off of your body to grip your jaw and make you look at him. “What were you goin t’ say?” he questions.

“N-nothing.” you stammer. Face burning hot because there’s this look in his eyes and they’re an almost midnight blue right now. You want to kick yourself because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t convince yourself to just go for it, just kiss him already.

But one of you has to do something, right?

Gareth’s pretty sure it’s going to have to be him.

“Wanna kiss you, bunny.” he mutters before he even realizes he’s done it. His face on fire as his gaze settles on you just in time to see the way your eyes widen in shock, your pupils blown. You nod as you swallow hard. “Want you to kiss me.” you admit and it feels like this weight has just been lifted.

But it’s just a kiss. What if it’s just because of proximity. You’re practically all over him.

Hearing you say you want him to kiss you has him pushing you onto your back so that he’s leaning over you, his hand engulfing yours as his heart threatens to beat right out of his chest and his mouth inches closer and closer. Until rough lips bump light against your soft ones and you can smell the cigarette and soda on his breath and your tummy does a little flip or two. Your tongue juts out with every intention to lick your lips because he’s just staring at them that damn hard and when it does, it drags against the outline of his mouth.

There’s no turning back now and he knows it.

His hand has yours pinned against the thick sleeping bag, his fingers enmeshed with yours as his other hand settles on your hip. You whine and the next time his mouth meets yours, your mouth falls open easily, granting him access. Not that he needed it. He could have done this weeks ago. Ended this whole little dance you’ve been doing with each other.

But he needed to be sure.

He doesn’t handle embarrassment or rejection well at all and he’d rather die than lose you entirely.

He releases one of your hands and it goes straight to thick curls, your fingers tugging at his hair and dragging over his scalp as he groans into your mouth and his tongue runs along yours. You deepen the kiss while whining into it, needy. 

His teeth graze your swollen lips and you do it again, that cute little needy whine as you squirm around, desperate for him to be closer. And just as it’s really starting to get hot and heavy and his hand’s slipped down with a thick digit dragging over the sliver of exposed skin just above the waistband of those soft and cute little shorts you’re wearing, Eddie’s booming voice echoes through the living room.

“Am I gonna have to get the fucking hose, Emerson? You two,” he nods to you both and your little compromising position as he barely hides a shit-eating grin, “Get a fucking room.”

“This fuckin..” Gareth grumbles in frustration as the two of you settle back into a position that works for watching the rest of the movie. You can feel your ears burning up when he mumbles low against the shell of one of them, “That uh…”

You roll over to face him, gazing up. “Hm?”

Gareth wants to punch his own throat because right now, words are failing him. Every single one he can think of leaves his brain in the same second. And finally, he does manage to get something out.

“I..” he grumbles at himself, annoyed. “I like you. A lot. Like you, like you.. Not just as a friend, okay? Do you understand?” he’s giving you this cute little flustered look and your mind is blown, you’re trying to process, your heart hammering away so fast you think it’ll explode.

You finally get your head around what he’s just said and you give him a sweet little smile as your hand rests against his face and the column of his neck. “I like you too. A lot. I wanted to say something but..” you take a deep breath. “It kinda scares the living shit out of me how much I like you. I’m not..” you fidget with the front of his shirt and look at his chest and he makes you look up at him instead. “I know, bunny. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” he mumbles and he says it so calm and so confident that you have no choice but to believe him.

Maybe you can take the risk this time. Maybe it’ll all work out.

You take a few shaky breaths and melt against him, still blushing because his friends burst in on you both just a few minutes before. “They’re gonna do that a lot, aren’t they?” you mutter, making him laugh. “Mhm. Fuckers.” he’s giving the three of them dirty looks while they’re arguing about a scene in the movie.

#gareth emerson #gareth the great #gareth emerson imagine #gareth emerson fanfiction #gareth emerson fanfic #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x fem!reader

[ao3feed-narumitsu]

Bodice Positivity

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48837817

by TopazEstrella

Miles' hands tremble a bit as he tries the last corset, wrapping it around the belly he wants to hide from the world and tying it up in the back. It fits snugly against his body, and he decides he likes it. It would be nice to feel sexy at the wedding, after all.

He puts on the rest of the wedding outfit and determines that no one would be able to tell he is wearing a lacy piece of lingerie beneath his suit. Perfect.

An exploration of Miles Wrightworth and his relationship to his body, gender, BDSM, and what it means to be a father.

Words: 8950, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Time Makes You Bolder/Even Children Get Older | (The men and their daughters' weddings)

Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, M/M

Characters: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth, Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright, Ichijou Mikumo | Kay Faraday

Relationships: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright, Houzuki Akane | Ema Skye/Ichijou Mikumo | Kay Faraday, Ichijou Mikumo | Kay Faraday & Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth

Additional Tags: post-SOJ, Spoilers: AAI1 & AA4, Established Relationship, Married Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Hurt/Comfort, Corsetry, Miles Edgeworth in Drag, Y'all this is the gayest thing I've ever written 😭, This definitely happens in AA7 (Shu told me), Background Faraskye, Miles is a samurai nerd, Empty Nest Syndrome, Fatherhood, Miles is self-conscious about his dad bod, Phoenix is the sweetest husband, Phoenix breaks character during roleplay, Phoenix is obsessed with Miles’ tits, married people can have dope sex too, even if it is awkward, body negativity/body dysmorphia, Aging, They are only 40 here but Miles acts like he is on his deathbed, Internalized Fatphobia, Body Positivity, Gender Roleplay, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Light BDSM, Top Phoenix Wright, Bottom Miles Edgeworth, Sorry I couldn’t justify Miles topping here and they occasionally switch in my brain, Phoenix improvises and uses clothespins for nipple clamps, light flogging, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, self-indulgent body image comfort fantasy, the ending is so fluffy I'm too soft for them, I just kinda miss fucking with gender in bed so I'm making my Barbies do it for me

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/SHnhbqy This is an automatic feed of all new stories posted to the Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright tag on AO3. Because of that, it is not guaranteed that Miles and Phoenix are the main characters in the story, nor the only ship. Please verify content upon clicking through to AO3.

#ao3feed #narumitsu #edgewright #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth

[hypnoticwinter]

What I learned from commissioning art

It may surprise some of you reading this, but this is actually a writing blog. I know I do a very good impression of being an art blog most of the time, but I actually made this blog three years ago (what the fuck) to host my novel set in the Mystery Flesh Pit, Down the Rabbit Hole.

It's no secret, though, that I'm a lover of art. I've always been a writer first and foremost, but I decided a long time ago that if I could go back and do things over again, I would have much preferred to be some kind of visual artist rather than a writer.

I know, I know, just learn to draw. The trouble with that is that while I'm certain I could learn to draw at a pretty competent level if I put everything else aside and worked at it, I have a significant disadvantage in that I have very good taste in art; or, to be less snotty, I have a very defined taste in art.

Taste is a great asset to any creative, but it becomes a curse when you haven't yet learned a medium, because it artificially inflates your standards for your own work at the time when you need that the least. When you're learning, you need to be able to accept that the things you create are going to be garbage, but that each one is going to bring you incrementally closer to meeting your ideal for what you're trying to create. Your standards need to be rock-bottom, essentially, and gradually raise as you go on as your skill permits. I remember, sometimes, the decade or so it took me to really master writing to the degree I have already, and even now there are still things I have to work on.

I never really planned on commissioning any art for basically any reason. The first time I did, I was about 75% done with my first novel. It had been a very intense and emotional experience for me, not least because I had never really believed I would be able to write a novel and have it turn out decent, and by that time, about 150k words deep in the story, I was starting to realize that I was actually doing a good job.

I was looking through the art tag on here one day and one particular post caught my eye and I looked through basically the artist's entire blog and followed her, and then I saw that she did commissions, and I thought that I might as well get one as something special to commemorate my first novel. Just a little drawing of the main characters standing side by side, like a cast photo.

Well, in the three years since then, and the two novels I've written since then, I went a little overboard. In my defense (and in fairness, I don't have to justify it, I can spend my money on whatever I want), there is something really, really enchanting about this artist's artstyle that keeps me coming back again and again. It's definitely a taste thing, cause I know on an objective level that it isn't perfect art or anything. In every drawing I get from her I can sit down and, if I look at it long enough, I can probably pick it apart even from my untrained perspective, whether it's something about proportions or perspective or a broader compositional issue or whatever.

And I don't mean that in any kind of disparaging way or anything, it just is what it is. In a way, I think I appreciate that more than anything else; it shows a certain kind of authenticity that I think sometimes ends up missing when you go on the higher level of commissioned art and you're shelling out thousands of dollars for an end product that's as objectively perfect as it's possible for art to be. There's an attraction for that too, and I get it, but when I see a drawing come in from her that I paid sixty bucks for and I see something like a quickly-painted background, or maybe some awkwardness in the way a character is standing, or maybe some vague perspective issue if I've asked for a particularly weird angle, I find it so much more charming than something with zero flaws on a compositional level.

That's a taste thing, of course, and I imagine it might irk some people, seeing issues like that. And of course the more cynical response might be 'you get what you pay for' and pointing out that it might show a lack of care or laziness or whatever, but even if that was the motivation, that she noticed but didn't care to fix that perspective issue or that awkward pose, isn't it more important what my perception of it is? I'm the client, after all.

But the title of this little essay is 'what I learned from commissioning art,' and by this point, if you've bothered to read this far, you might be wondering what exactly it is I've learned. All I've said so far is that this artist's style really speaks to me, to such a degree that I interpret the flaws in her art as being charming rather than defects. No, what I learned is actually that I am a very lonely and very sentimental person, maybe to a detrimental degree, and more so than I thought I was. It's hard not to know if you're a lonely person, and I've always been given to solitude, but sometimes it comes through a little more strongly.

You see, when I got that first commission back from her, three years ago, there was something so utterly magical about seeing those characters transformed from images in my head and the words I'd written on the page into an actual artwork depicting them that I really couldn't get enough of it for a while. I still can't, really; even as I write this I'm in the middle of another cycle of commissions with her, and the feeling seeing the images and scenarios from my imagination transformed into reality, even to such a tiny and inconsequential degree as this, is still so wonderful to me that I constantly try to find ways to thank her, to impress on her how much it means to me that we've cultivated this working relationship for the past three years.

And that's the issue, isn't it, because what it is is a working relationship. And while I do believe all relationships are transactional to a greater or lesser degree, the most transactional are financial relationships, the relationship of the client and the producer, and that's what this is. I hold no illusions that if I were suddenly unable to pay for the work I ask her for that she'd continue drawing for me out of the goodness of her heart. Nor should she; we aren't friends, although we're certainly cordial with each other, but after three years working together, who wouldn't be?

Maturity is a weird thing. I'm almost 30 and I'm still able to look back on myself every year and see how much I've grown since then, reflect on my relative immaturity, marvel, in some ways, at how different my perspective is.

I've given this woman gifts in the past. Cash gifts, probably the least meaningful gifts there can be, but she lives in Spain and I live in the US and shipping something more meaningful to her would be out of the question - mostly because that's a step too far for a working relationship. But now, looking back at the last three years and how much I've grown in that time, I realize that these gifts were not me saying thank you for a job well done, or something perfunctory at a major holiday like Christmas or whatever, what I meant when I gave her these gifts was instead 'this is how much what you do means to me.' Not in a monetary sense, of course, but in the sense that 'I as a client am willing to give you not inconsiderable amounts of money for no reason, just because you have always been there and willing to work for me in the past.' In the sense that 'the things you've created for me mean more to me than I can professionally express and retain any kind of dignity.'

I can't imagine how these gifts and how the various overtures I've made at different times trying to explain even a small, restrained hint at this feeling must have come across to her. I can only hope that, at the very least, she thinks of me charitably as being somewhat eccentric but well-meaning.

This too is the nature of a professional relationship, especially of this type; I am the replaceable one, she isn't. If I were to disappear, she would still have plenty of people to pay for her work, although in truth I don't know if she has any customers as consistent as I am. But if she were to disappear, I don't know that I'd be able to replace her, or that I'd want to.

But this is as it should be. And all I can hope is that she understands in some small way what it means to me when I do see the work from her come in, and I see what she's done with the prompts I've given her, and I hope she knows that when I tell her I like the colors, or that it looks gorgeous, or that I imagined it so differently but I love how it turned out, that I mean that she is, unexpectedly, a large part of my life, that I look at these images again and again at times, thinking of the thoughts that had originally made me want to see them outside of the confines of my own mind, that without her and her work and the lubrication of this professional relationship, I would probably be living a life that's a little duller and sadder. Not a lot, but a little, and she saves me from that.

But this is dramatic and far too personal for me to ever say to her, not directly, not if I want to maintain the illusion that I am as detached as she can sometimes appear to be, that this is nothing more than a professional relationship and that I am playing the role of the satisfied customer to her quiet efficiency.

And this is as it should be.

But inwardly, although I'll never say it to her, every time I ask her for something new and we agree on a price and I make the paypal transaction, my heart burns to ask along with it, 'does this mean as much to you as it does to me?' even knowing that the answer cannot possibly be yes, because to be lonely is to hope, to hope beyond all reason that the few contacts you have with other people, with other lives, burn as brightly to them as they do to you.

#writing #art #reflections

[ao3feed-todoroki]

On the Other Side of the Glass

On the Other Side of the Glass by QuesoAzul 00

“You're a piece of shit.” “I know.” “I hate you.” “I know.” “Then why are you here?” “I don't know.” “Then leave.” “No.” Dabi looked past the glass divider into his father's eyes. Yes, his father. The man he had set his sights on putting into the ground, the man who was responsible for all his suffering, the man who made him fly too close to the sun, the physical representation of everything he never became, was sitting across from him, refusing to leave his fucking cell. OR: After getting arrested, Dabi has been locked up in Tartarus for the past two years. Endeavor pays him a very awkward visit and manages to kickstart the beginning of what will be the most disorienting journey in Dabi's life: being apart of a family again- for realsies?

Words: 946, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Fuyumi, Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Rei

Relationships: Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Dabi & Todoroki Enji & Todoroki Fuyumi & Todoroki Natsuo & Todoroki Shouto, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Todoroki Rei, Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Tags will probably be updated at some point in time, Slow To Update, Minor Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks, They're there they just aren't the main focus, This fic will focus more on family dynamics and healing, Todoroki Family Drama, Todoroki Family-centric, Todoroki Family Feels, Todoroki Family Shenanigans, Eventual Happy Ending, Healing, mentions of trauma and child abuse, dabi goes to rehab, lol, I just want them to be happy is that too much to ask for?, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor Faces Consequences, endeavor owning up to his mistakes and actually putting in effort to be better, not an endeavor apologist fic, Nice Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, title is a work in progress, I am not caught up on the manga, so don't expect this to be a continuation I genuinely have no clue what is going on, Not Beta Read

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47370439

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Hotwings #♥ #Dabihawks #Hotwings #Enji Todoroki #Shouto Todoroki #Fuyumi Todoroki #🔥 #💢 #🏮 #⚣ #R:T #A:Queso #Hurt Comfort

[yn-rollcall]

Momento Bakugo x Reader Chapter 34

First Chapter

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Summary: So I was always told to look on the bright side. The bright side is that I’m finally meeting the Number One and Two pro-heroes Deku and Dynamight. The downside is that I was publicly dragged out of my job for a string of robberies that I did not commit and am being detained for questioning.

Length: 10.5k

Warnings:Oral Sex, Food Kink, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Mirror Sex, Quirk Kink (My Hero Academia), Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Emotional Constipation, Chocolate Syrup, Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Temperature Play, Hate Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Injury, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panty Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Creampie, Bondage, Body Worship, Light Dom/sub, Daddy Kink, Pegging, Public Masturbation, Office Sex, Wank and Tell, Polyamory, So like at the very very end there’s KatsukixReaderxKirishima, But it happens so last minute I don’t feel justified tagging it as one of the main relationships, Constructive Criticism Welcome

A03

Wattpad

A/N: Enjoy *looks at word count* uhhh 10.5k worth of content holy shit.

It's been a few days since I went with Kirishima to 2AM Nightshift. It surprisingly brought us a lot closer. At first, I was just texting him about questions that came up in my research. Then hero opinions. Before we knew it, we're texting constantly about everything. My phone pinged and I picked it up.

Sweaty Boi:

Tomorrow. You can peg me then.

My eyes popped out of my head. Tomorrow? Tomorrow? Am I ready? I left the chat and texted Kirishima.

Y/N:

It's tomorrow AHHHHHH!

Kiri:

What's tomorrow

Y/N:

Using Harness Time

Kiri:

Oh.

Good luck my student.

Y/N:

Thank you sensei

I'll do my best!

Kirishima sent a bunch of laughing emojis in response. I rushed over to the living room where Iris was hanging with Miruko. A fact I'm still getting used to. I waved for her attention.

"Can I talk to you?" I loudly whispered to Iris.

She rolled her eyes. Miruko kissed Iris on the cheek before she got up and came over.

"What's up?" She asked.

"I'm pegging Katsuki tomorrow."

"Holy shit!" Iris gasped.

"I know!" I squealed then the panic set in. I looked down and starting biting my thumbnail. "I know..."

"You're so dramatic."

"What if it's not good?" I asked.

"Then you laugh it off!" She said, slowly realizing I wasn't kidding.

"I don't wanna be funny, I wanna be sexy!" I whined.

"Girl, it's fine! You're gonna be fine either way. Don't stress."

"Easy for you to say pillow princess."

"Don't get mad cuz I'm living the lesbian dream."

I rolled my eyes and shooed her away as she laughed at me. I went back to my room, working out the details with Katsuki. I'll show up at his place early and prepare. It's gonna be good, great even maybe. I glanced at the harness. The articles said putting it on and getting comfortable are crucial steps. But I'd always felt silly with it on. So I would take it off quickly. I'm hoping I don't feel that way tomorrow and that if I do. it's quickly chased away. I clicked off my night lamp and went to sleep. I've got a long day tomorrow.

Katsuki POV

I looked at my phone, a shaky exhale leaving me. I hated to admit it but I was fucking nervous. I've been with men before and it was alright but I preferred to top. Especially since the men I did sleep with didn't know what they were doing. And no girl I've ever been with suggested anything like this before. The only two people I know who won't make a gossip chain about this whole thing are Deku and Eijirou. Deku is a no-go. He's way too analytical about this stuff. And Ei...well he's still awkward around me. For good reason but that doesn't help the current situation. I pulled up a number I never fully expected to contact on my own without Y/N being involved.

Katsuki:

You got pegged right?

What was it like?

-Incoming call Ori-

I groaned and clicked accept before I could second guess it. I immediately regretted it when an overly excited voice answered.

"First, you contacted me just in time! I literally just stepped in my house after my camping trip! Second, are you and her gonna do it?"

"Maybe." I mumbled.

He squealed on the other end then calmed down.

"First, I couldn't be happier this is our first real conversation with just us. Second, I'll totally give you all the ins and outs. You ready?"

I pinched my eyebrows.

"Sure."

"Okay. So have you ever done anal before?"

"...Yes." I said reluctantly.

"Cool. So that makes it easier. Basically all the same things you needed then, you'll need here. A shit ton of lube, some preparation beforehand and to communicate the whole time especially since its your first pegging experience."

"How is it different?"

"I don't know how to explain it other than you feel like your comfort zone is a mile away. And that's for both parties."

I thought back to what she said when she won the bet.

Have fun begging for my plastic dick princess.

"I doubt it. She seemed confident."

"Trust me, I've known her for a while. She's always a nervous wreck when it comes to something new. Anyway, how are you feeling about this thing you're about to experience?"

"Nervous honestly." I sighed. "The other times I've done anal haven't been magical."

"Wow really. Well I'm sure this time will be different. Even if it might be awkward the first time."

"I doubt this will be a regular thing."

"I can't emphasize enough that once you hop on that train you want to stay on it. But that might just be me." He laughed. "Also do me a favor."

"What favor?"

"Please make sure to communicate. You guys are trying something hella new. I'm sure both of you are kinda freaking out. Otherwise I doubt you'd call me of all people for tips."

"...I will."

"Awesome! I hope this helped! I'm really exhausted and miss my bed so I gotta lay down. Let me know how it goes okay? It's gonna be awesome."

"Sure." I said, surprised that I meant it.

He hung up and I lowered the phone. I didn't know what I expected but I liked how that was handled. He didn't make a big deal out of anything I said like my friends would have. Maybe there's more to him than being a flashy whiny guy. I put away my phone and grabbed one more bottle of lube. Then walked out of 2AM Nightshift after I paid. I felt my heart start to race in anticipation for tomorrow.

Y/N POV

I didn't sleep much last night. I got a few hours in but I needed to head over to Katsuki's place. I put in the spare key and entered the apartment. It was unusual being here without him. Like I didn't belong. I shook my head trying to rid myself of those thoughts. One anxiety at a time. In his bedroom, as promised, everything we needed was on the bed. I surveyed the stuff making sure we had all the supplies and enough of it before moving onto the part I was dreading. The harness. I looked to see where the opening was and how to tighten it before attempting to put it on. Once I figured that out, I put on the harness and tightened it.

When the dildo was secured, I immediately felt out of place, vulnerable and like I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Which I honestly didn't have ANY IDEA and even if I did all that research ultimately I didn't know how to actually do this. I've never felt this nervous about anything before. My chest tightened and my heart started racing. The room was closing in and my mind flooded with insecurities and doubts. On instinct, I reached for my phone and called Kirishima. I didn't know why but I did.

Two rings and he answered with a confused 'hello?'.

I immediately recognized I made a mistake.

"Hi." My voice cracked.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked urgently.

"No! Butt dial!" I said choking out short sentences to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Please just tell me."

I tried to breathe in but I choked on it and tears started falling and I was definitely crying on the phone to Kirishima now fuck.

"Please at least tell me where you are!"

"I...Um. Actually I'm freaking out and I'm at Katsuki's and its stupid but I really need-"

The phone suddenly shut off. Ran out of batteries. I took off the stupid harness and threw it to the side. After a few frustrating minutes, I found a charger for my phone and plugged it in. I had about 45 minutes before Katsuki came back so maybe a walk would calm me down. Charge phone. Walk. Apologize to Kiri. All good. I pulled on a shirt. Then changed into one of Katsuki's last minute. His scent wafting on the shirt helped calm me down a little. The doorbell rang. Followed by frantic hard knocks. I rushed to the door, opening it and Kiri immediately grabbed me by the shoulders, his breath heaving.

"Are you okay?" He said in a rush.

Tears welled up in my eyes and he quickly closed the door behind himself.

"What's wrong? Did you two fight?"

He's either a fast runner or lives extremely close. That was like 5 minutes tops.

"No. It's really dumb. How'd you get here so fast?"

"I live a few doors down. And it's not dumb if you're this upset."

"It's..." I felt embarrassment crawl up my spine so I took his hand and guided him to Katsuki's bedroom.

I pointed to the strap and Kiri's eyes widened slightly. He looked back at me, confused.

"I...I don't know what I'm doing and like Katsuki's really going out of his comfort zone for this and I want it to be good for him but I don't know if I can do it and I-"

Kirishima pulled me against his chest, his thick arms wrapping around me. It felt nice. It felt really nice. Maybe hugs were better than walks.

"This might be my fault for not giving you enough info." He said softly.

"No, no. I did research and you helped me so much. I just-I don't have any practice anywhere near this and maybe I should call it off?"

"Is this something you want to do?" He asked delicately.

"Yes. I'm just scared it won't be good for Katsuki. Plus like it's-this is so weird but-it's so much more vulnerable wearing it than I imagined and..."

I sighed heavily.

"I feel like if I run away from this I'll never do it. Which is a bad reason maybe? To do this but."

"What would help you feel more prepared?"

"...Having practice. Being shown the ropes." I said, closing my eyes at how that sounds.

Especially towards a guy who decidedly isn't Katsuki.

"...Okay. Then I'll show you." He said.

I stiffened and looked up at him, surprised. He was looking away, face red as a tomato.

"You...don't have to do that, I'm just being dumb."

"Dumb or not...I want you to feel good about this. You were so excited the other day."

"Kirishima..." I said feeling tears prick my eyes.

"C'mon." He said, picking up the harness and handing it to me. I felt self-conscious as I put it on but I swallowed and set it back up. I avoided eye contact for a moment before looking at him. He looked away, blushing, which oddly made me feel better. It wasn't this...huge thing. At least not as huge as I made it in my head. I tapped him and then jokingly shook my hips from side to side earning a little laugh. This...felt better.

"Okay." He said taking two pillows and putting them together.

He pulled me forward until the dildo was touching the crevice between the two pillows. I looked at him and he shrugged.

"It's the best we got."

I smiled. "Fair and valid."

"Try thrusting."

Now I'm nervous. I fidgeted a bit and Kirishima smiled, rolling his eyes. He grabbed my hips and pushed them forward.

"Like this. Now try." He said, letting go.

I did a few experimental ones, very nervous but it...it didn't feel bad. Just weird. Different. Way more simple than I made it in my head.

"Now depending on where the prostate is you might want to..."

He grabbed my hips and lifted me a bit, prompting me to get on my toes, bending me over. He settled my hands near the edge of the pillows.

"Now thrust like that." He said, his voice a little huskier than before.

I thrusted but this time, it felt more...erotic. I bit my lip.

"Is that good?" I asked, my voice a little airy.

"Great. Now roll your hips like this." He gripped my waist, twisting it into the pillows.

His body was close to mine, his lips by my ear. I tried to keep myself from reacting. I could feel his fingers gripping my sides. And his chest is REALLY defined. This...this was bad. Really bad.

"L-Like this?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Perfect." He responded, his voice a low growl.

A thrill went down my spine. I quickly got up and Kirishima cleared his throat. I undid the harness since greeting Katsuki dick out seemed like it would be awkward. Kirishima stood back a few steps, looking carefully at anywhere but me or the bed. Once I got the harness off, I looked at Kirishima who, after a moment, met my gaze. I shuffled around a bit and stepped out to hug him. He hugged me back, squeezing tightly.

"Thanks. That helped." I said, my face heating up.

"Anyway just prepare him alot and you'll be golden. Just take your time. You've got this." He said softly.

"Ei? What are you doing here?" Katsuki said.

I froze. He's home early. I'm in his bedroom, hugging another man. A man who I just had a weird sexual tension with. My body started trembling as I anticipated getting yelled at. Getting hit. He's gonna think I'm a whore. He's going to hate me, I just got him to stop hating me. He's gonna leave. All because I was stupid.

You're the kind of girl who enjoys "a thrill". The thrills you go for though, aren't something anyone else is going to tolerate.

No one else is going to deal with that. No one wants a girl who isn't satisfied with just them.

"Hey!" A gentle hand grabbed my face.

Kirishima was still holding me, this time his arms tightened around me, trying to keep my body from trembling.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"For what?" Katsuki asked softly.

I didn't know what he wanted me to say. What were the right words? What were the magic words? What do I need to say for you to forgive me? I stared at him, still trembling.

"Ei, please tell me what's wrong with her." He pleaded.

"I don't know she was fine just a minute ago. Before that she called me over because she was really nervous about tonight."

"Is that it? We can do it tomorrow! I'll still do it okay?" Katuski said, swiping the tears off of my face.

When did I start crying?

Why do you always act like I'M the bad guy! Quit acting like you're hurt!

Fuck that's just gonna make him more mad. I'm not supposed to cry, I'm in the wrong. I shook my head, finally able to calm down enough to realize...he wasn't mad? He wasn't yelling. Why wasn't he mad?

"You don't hate me?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Why? What?"

"Because Kiri's over?" I whispered, scared.

"Why would....?" Katsuki asked. "Hosei...that bastard." He growled under his breath as he lovingly stroked my cheek.

"Ei showed me how to thrust." I said, because he has to hate me.

He just doesn't know the context. Of course, if he knew the whole context, he'd get mad. It made sense. And lying would only make it worse.

"Yea?" He asked. "Okay?"

"I liked it." I said in a small voice, tearing up again.

His eyes widened again. This is when he berates me. I tensed up, waiting for his blow up. Instead he looked at Kirishima.

"Can you run me through it?" Katsuki asked Kirishima.

Kirishima looked a bit guilty and nodded. His arms loosed around me but when he noticed my body was still trembling, he held me again. And I hated that I needed it. I enjoyed it. Being comforted and held. I really was the worst. His hand rubbed soothing circles on my back. I relaxed a bit, even though I didn't want to.

"She called me about 20 minutes ago and seemed really upset. Her phone suddenly cut out so I ran over here to check on her. When she opened the door she was in tears because she was nervous she'd make the pegging experience bad for you."

I buried my head into Kirishima's chest. He rubbed my back and continued.

He hates me. He hates me. He hates me.

"I asked what would help her feel more prepared and she said if she was shown how to do it. So I showed her."

Kirishima paused.

"I was also into it." He admitted guiltily. "I guided her hips with my hands and I made things awkward."

I wanted to argue because it wasn't awkward for me. It was hot. But saying that would make things worse. A million times worse and I was already in deep shit.

"So you both feel guilty...because he touched your hips to help you peg me." Katsuki said.

I froze again. He sounded...amused. I looked up from Kirishima's chest to find a small smirk on Katsuki's face. He looked at Kirishima who blushed and looked away. Katsuki looked at me, putting his hand on my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. I screwed my eyebrows together, completely stunned by this reaction. I didn't know what this meant and it put me more on edge.

"First I'm not mad. At all. Ei and I talked about this." Katsuki said.

What?

I looked up at Kirishima in surprise, whose blush deepened.

"Talking about that and this are two different things."

"Not really." Katsuki shrugged.

Kirishima blustered at Katsuki's nonchalance and they bickered back and forth until I raised my hand.

"Can someone please fill me in?" I said in a small voice.

"I..uh. " Kirishima let out a sigh. "I saw you guys that day in the office right?"

My face heated up and I nodded.

"So ever since I couldn't...really...stop thinking about it? And at first I felt guilty because I thought that I was attracted to just you. But it was always you WITH Kats...not usually either of you by yourselves. I mean both of you are individually hot just-ugh." He groaned, his blush deepening.

"He started acting weird around me and I cornered him until he talked." Katsuki butt in. "He told me he thinks he likes us both. And when he told me, I realized I was okay with that. More than okay."

My eyes widened and I turned to Kirishima whose eyes were screwed shut. It's true. But wait. Was this a test? Was this really okay? Or what if this happens and then one of us realized we weren't okay with it. What did this mean? What is this now? Kirishima gave me a light tap on the head.

"Just take it at face value...I haven't really figured out anything beyond me being attracted to you both." He mumbled.

I looked at Katsuki who watched me take all this information in.

"So I'm not in trouble?" I asked softly.

"No."

Doubts still ran around in my mind and at this point Katsuki started to look irritated. So he looked at Kirishima.

"Ei. Kiss her."

I turned to ice in his arms. I wouldn't move. I couldn't believe what I heard.

"Don't." I whispered. "If you're testing me don't. Just yell at me."

"I'm not." Katsuki asserted. "This really is okay. No games. I promise."

Katsuki put his hand on my chin and turned me to face Kirishima who was looking down at me, debating in his head. After a moment, he glanced at Katsuki who nodded. Then he leaned down and touched his lips softly to mine. It was a small touch but I was brought to reality all at once. Katsuki wanted Kirishima to be here. I...I wanted him to be here. I liked being in his arms. And his hug is so different from Katsuki's. And he's warm and nice and apparently has a kiss that made me want to smile.

Where Katsuki is lean and strong, Kirishima was built like a brick house, almost dwarfing me. It made me feel delicate which...I also liked. Kirishima's lips pressed to mine again and I pressed back, hesitant. We broke apart with a slight pop. I couldn't look at Katsuki, I was scared. Kirishima made the choice for me and turned my chin towards him. I looked at him, then looked down, my eyes widened. He...was half hard.

'It took me getting him drunk but Ei admitted everything. One of the things being that he wanted to eat you out." Katsuki said in a husky voice. "Do you want that?"

"I...the..." I said dumbly.

"You'll peg me, don't worry." He said with a smirk. "But I think...since he might be joining the mix...he should get a fantasy in too." He said, his eyes searching mine for any discomfort.

I wasn't uncomfortable with the idea. I was scared that my lack of discomfort would cause problems later on. It always seemed to.

"If...Kirishima's okay with it." I said turning to him.

He looked down at my lips. "Eijirou." He said. "Call me Eijirou."

I nodded. Katsuki took my hand and guided me to the bed. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead. Eijirou walked up and stood at the edge of the bed, waiting.

"Is this okay?" Katsuki asked.

It struck me that I actually had control over this. Where this went. I've slept with multiple people before. But for my opinion to matter this much. For everyone to really want me to want this not for their sake but for mine. I threw my arms around Katsuki and kissed him hard. He made a surprised noise but reciprocated. When we broke apart, I nodded. I felt the bed dip as a hand gently guided my face. Eijirou stared hard, his demeanor changing into one more...commanding. I saw Katsuki shiver next to me from the corner of my eye. This was just like when we went shopping except full blown.

"I need a yes." Eijirou said.

"...Yes." I said softly.

He let go of my face and looked at Katsuki. Katsuki kissed my cheek then travelled down, sucking on my neck. I couldn't look into Eijirou's eyes but I knew his gaze was on me. Every soft kiss Katsuki gave me was magnified under his careful watch. My breath quickened. Eijirou's hands teased at the shirt barely covering my thighs and lifted it up. He sucked in a breath, marveling at the state I was in down there. My panties were soaked through. I tried closing my legs but he kept a tight grip.

"How long have you been wet?" He asked me.

I wanted to be shy but his gaze drew me in. Leaving no way out.

"Since your lesson." I murmured.

Eijirou hummed and got in close. I moved my legs again to cover myself but he pinned me down with a stern look. He hooked a finger in my panties, rubbing my center. Biting his lip, he slowly pulled them off of me, marveling at how unwilling the soaked fabric was to separate from me. He stood up and unbuttoned his pants. The dark boxers were pulled down to reveal...holy shit. Katsuki cursed and I gulped. He was huge. Thick, long and dripping with pre-cum. He took the panties and stroked his cock with the soaked part.

"I've been trying to hide this since you answered the door. You really should consider putting on pants next time." He said, his voice ending in a moan.

He bent over, kneeling at the edge of the bed and gripped my hips, roughly pulling me towards him. It was...fuck it was so hot. I felt myself getting wetter and the look of approval in his eyes wasn't helping. He gave me an experimental lick and my breath stuttered. Katsuki adjusted himself, before lifting my shirt further and licking at my breasts.

Unlike Katsuki, Eijirou's method didn't rush to bring me to the edge. He took his time. Every lick a careful build to a steadily rising amount of pleasure. Katsuki followed his lead, lazily licking and sucking my chest. He pulled off with a pop and moved up to kissing my neck. A low groan left my lips as I started grinding back onto Eijirou's face. He smiled, moving back.

"Show me how you like it." He said.

Then he moved closer and stuck out his tongue, not moving. I whined and ground myself on his tongue feeling kind of humiliated. But the embarrassment, the debasing of myself to chase my own pleasure while he sat there, made me grind faster. My muscles started to tighten as I found a rhythm I liked. He wrapped his arms around my thighs and spread my lips with his thumbs. Then he started licking emphasizing all the places I ground into him the most. Going almost the same rhythm except a little faster. Gasps flew out of my mouth as I met his licks. He made eye contact as he flicked my clit with his tongue.

"Fuck." I gasped as I felt my legs start to tremble.

Katsuki licked his fingers and started rubbing my nipples while he sucked behind my ear. My gasps turned into moans which turned into begging when Katsuki latched his mouth onto my breast and rolled the bud with his tongue. He lightly bit and I cried out, my back arching off the bed. Katsuki stopped sucking and looked at Eijirou.

"Ei finger her." He said before licking the other nipple.

I felt two fingers plunge inside me and fish around before they curled up.

"Ah!" I panted. "Y-yes. There!" I stuttered, my body jerking with each curl of his fingers.

Staccato moans flew out of me as he found a rhythm and started licking again. It's almost too much. It's too much. I squeezed my eyes shut as my body unsuccessfully tried to fold into itself. I clawed at the sheets beside me, losing my grip on everything. Pleasure shooting up and down my body. Radiating from the spots where Katsuki and Eijirou showed no mercy.

My body wound tight as I turned my head to the side trying to catch my breath. I'm so close, I'm so fucking close I could taste it. Katsuki leaned in my ear, his hands still working my poor abused breasts. He went behind me and sat me up. Forcing my chin over to make me watch Eijirou work my folds. His rough, calloused hands went back to working my nipples as we watched my thighs tremble around Eijirou's head.

"Fuck his face baby. Cover my best friend in your cum." He purred in my ear.

The image popped in my mind and I exploded. My thighs gripped around Eijirou's head as I shamelessly ground into it. I covered my face as I came for what felt like forever. He sat up, still using his hand to finger fuck me as his palm ground into my clit. Ripping my hands away from my face, his eyes lit up as he watched me climax. Tears built on the corners of my eyes as I twitched and whined under his gaze. He gripped my hands to prevent me from hiding anything from him or Katsuki as they watched me fall apart to my entirety.

"Eiji-please stop." I whimpered.

"I heard you squirted the other day." Eijirou purred, his fingers not stopping. "Think you can do that again?

I shook my head and struggled. Katsuki stopped his ministrations then hopped from the bed and removed Eijirou's fingers, licking them clean. He laid me down and settled at the edge of the bed, hooking my legs over his shoulders. Then he quickly moved in on my cunt. The difference was fucking night and day. He shoved three fingers in, going at a much faster pace. Then latched onto my cunt and licked at a slightly different rhythm than his fingers. My orgasm built up like a tidal wave. Even quicker than usual because of Eijirou's unwavering lustful gaze.

Eijirou climbed onto the bed where Katsuki was. He sat back and started jacking off with my panties. My cunt clenched, as I saw him lick his lips, his gaze predatory. The precum on Eiji's cock pouring out, mixing in with the already soaked fabric. Katsuki groaned on my clit, the vibrations lighting every nerve ending on fire. Eijirou let out a wanton moan as he stroked faster. His eyes hungrily raked over my body as I writhed under Katsuki's assault. I'm so close. I'm so fucking close.

"Mm! FFf-uck!" I wailed as I gripped the covers, skating the edge.

"Come with me, pet." Eijirou growled.

My back arched off the bed as I squirted all over Katsuki. Warm splashes of cum hit my stomach as Eijirou came, his big cock twitching hard with the effort.

"Fuck Yea!" Katsuki groaned as my body twitched.

I rode his fingers, my toes curling painfully as they dug into his back. Eijirou petted my hair as his eyes shone. Katsuki rubbed my thigh with his other hand as the spasms slowed down. I dropped onto the mattress, boneless, as Katsuki pulled out his fingers and kissed my thighs.

"Good girl." Eijirou said, giving his cock one last pump before letting go.

My face burned but I loved it. I wanted to be his good girl. I liked being his good girl. I nuzzled into his hand, trying to think thoughts after all that. Eijirou placed soft kisses all over my wrists traveling up to my neck while Katsuki rubbed soothing circles on my thighs.

"So. Still doubt it's okay with me?" Katsuki asked cheekily.

"No." I grumbled. "I figured it out along the way."

Eijirou laughed a bit and I smiled. I caught Katsuki looking between us. I could still sense some hesitation but he looked like he was comfortable with this. I looked at Eijirou who absentmindedly kept petting my hair, his brow furrowed slightly. Then his lips curled into a slight smile. I felt relieved. It's...a process but it seemed good. This felt good. I turned towards Eijirou.

"Can you get my harness please?" I asked sweetly.

Katsuki's eyes widened.

"I know for a fact you need to recover." He said hastily.

"I can get on my knees." I said cheekily as Eijirou handed me my harness. "Besides, a brat like you needs to be put in his place." I said, my voice turning dark. "Your little plan to wear me out didn't work."

Katsuki gulped as Eijirou and I turned towards him.

"Get on the bed, doll." Eijirou said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Katsuki's eyes widened at him. He looked...really nervous. I reached out and grabbed his chin. I tried to channel all of my calm and confidence.

"I'll take care of you, love." I said my voice coming out commanding, sultry and enticing.

His eyes grew half lidded as he zeroed in on me. He gulped and got on the bed, his cock straining against his boxers. He sat down and faced us. Eijirou crawled over to him and pulled off his boxers. There wasn't any kissing or touching beyond that but it was intense. I couldn't predict the things they were thinking but I knew they've both been looking forward to this moment for a long time. They almost looked like they couldn't believe it was happening.

Eijirou bit his lip and planted a soft kiss on Katsuki's forehead. Katsuki stiffened for a bit then grabbed his face and kissed him hard on the lips. They broke apart, then kissed again and again a sigh of relief radiating from both of them. Eijirou pulled back and I could see the shine in Katsuki's eyes. Eijirou glanced at me then him and let a slow deep breath out.

"Turn around." Eijirou said after a moment.

Katsuki complied and I felt my nerves shoot up again. Eijirou rubbed my back, then took my hand and placed it on Katsuki's ass. He used my hand to knead the skin there in slow soothing circles. Katsuki slowly but surely relaxed. Eijirou pulled out the lube and spread it all over our hands. Feeling him slowly slick it all over my fingers, soft squelches and the intense look in his eye stoked a burning heat in my abdomen.

"Ready?" He asked us.

I nodded and Katsuki took a deep breath.

"Ready."

"Okay this is gonna feel weird at first alright?" Eijirou cautioned as he gave me a nod.

Eijirou hesitantly curled his hand around Katsuki's cock, giving a few experimental pumps. Katsuki gasped and Eijirou gave me a nod. I reached out and circled the hole before slowly sinking my finger in. Katsuki tensed up even as Eijirou kept stroking his cock to ease the sting. I felt a slight bump and pushed. Katsuki let out a strangled moan.

"Should I stop?" I asked him. "How are we feeling?"

"...Again." He grunted.

His voice sounded embarrassed and desperate. I looked at Eijirou. He smiled and nodded. Katsuki moaned and whined with every stroke. He buried his head in the sheets, his whole body turning red As I kept going.

"Add another finger." Eijirou said.

I complied, hearing Katsuki's moans pitch higher and more desperate. He started to move his hips in time with my fingers. Slowly but surely we eased Katsuki until he was stretched out to Eijirou's satisfaction. He hummed and looked between Katsuki's legs.

"How are we feeling?" I asked again.

Katsuki didn't answer. I looked down to see what he was feeling and my eyes widened. Katsuki's eyes were hazy, tongue lolling as he panted. Drool trailed from his lips, a deep blush painting over his face. It was...beautiful. I bit my lip. I looked over to Eijirou who leaned in close to my ear.

"It's only gonna get better from here."

The thought sent a thrill down my spine. I got up and quickly pulled on the harness. Making sure it was secure before climbing back on the bed. I pressed the dildo against his hole and paused.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I need a yes." I said firmly.

"Yes. Fucking do it." He whined, his voice shaky.

I wanted to comment on his tone but...not now. Not while he's trying something so new. I looked at Eijirou who started pumping Katsuki's cock again. I slowly sunk the tip in, Katsuki hissed in response, tensing.

"Try to relax." I said softly.

Eijirou lazily stroked his cock and rubbed soothing circles in his back as I slowly but surely sunk in. Katsuki panted beneath me, trying to adjust to the sensation. Finally, I was all the way in.

"Katsuki? Tell me when I can move okay?" I said

"Okay,'' he said in a tight voice.

Eijirou kept stroking his cock and rubbing circles on his back until Katsuki moved his hips forward and back a bit. He let out a breath.

"Okay. You can move." He said softly.

I leaned over and kissed his back tenderly.

"Thanks for trusting me."

I pulled my hips back and thrusted. He gasped. I pushed back in and out a few times trying to get the hang of it. Then Katsuki let out a loud moan. I froze. Then tried to repeat. He moaned again, this time higher pitched. I think I found it. I started a rhythm thrusting slowly, the way Eijirou showed me. Katsuki's hands grabbed the pillow.

"Faster." He panted, fucking back into me. "Please"

I obliged, grabbing his ass and setting a more brutal pace. A long moan rattled out of him as loud squelches filled the air. Ei sat back, stroking his cock in time, his eyes trained on where my strap disappeared into his ass.

"Fuck! Harder. Just like that!" Katsuki panted, the covers starting to steam where his hand gripped.

I pushed his back down and fucked into him. Feeling powerful and in control and so unbelievably turned on. I could feel my cunt soaking the back of the dildo as Katsuki writhed underneath me. Every single moan that flew out his mouth went straight to my head and cunt. THE Katsuki Bakugo, begging me to fuck him harder. I could get used to this but I wasn't done.

Katsuki whined. He whined when I stopped. I pulled out slowly and he gasped when I was all the way out. God I wanted to touch myself. I pinched my nipples and bit my lip, trying to will myself to focus. Eijirou crawled up to me and lapped at my breasts. His sharp teeth caused me to buck into his touch. He loosened the harness a bit and reached down, circling my sensitive bud. Katsuki huffed, impatient. Eijirou popped off my breast.

"Wait, you brat." He growled.

Then he sat up and kissed me. His other hand stroked my plastic dick and I don't know what it is about it but it made every nerve a live wire. His tongue traced my lips then he pulled me into a deeper kiss. He thumbed my nipples as he leaned in close to my ear.

"Make him beg, pet." He murmured in my ear.

Fuck.

Fuck yes fuck .

He kissed my neck and sucked and it's so fucking different and good. He bit into it, I sighed as he pulled my hair back. He smirked, then kissed me softly. Like he had all the time in the world. He Fucking had me in a vice grip. I...oh god I wanted so much but for right now I wanted one thing.

"Can I suck your cock?" I asked.

He abruptly pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"You may." He said and I felt his words wash over me.

My body sunk down, face level with his hot throbbing member.

"Katsuki. Watch." I said sternly.

I watched him reluctantly reposition himself and his eyes widened at the sight. Eijirou towering over me, his cock pressed to my cheek.

"Don't touch yourself." I said before I kissed the tip.

Eijirou hissed as I licked along the length of his cock. I started at the tip and sunk down, trying to accommodate his size. It was hard but it made my thighs clench. Eijirou grabbed the back of my head but didn't push. He let me set the pace. I sucked what I could reasonably fit down my throat and jerked the rest. The harness was like a chastity belt, preventing me from getting that beloved friction and I loved it.

Heat pooled at my core as I sped up, spit flying everywhere. Eijirou cursed as he accidentally thrusted a bit. I gagged a bit and I could see parts of him harden his fingers scratching my head a bit.. I reached up and massaged his balls as he lost himself using me as a fleshlight. My body was reaching a fever pitch and I wanted to be touched and fucked so bad but I needed to see this glorious cock cum. I yanked my head back, stood up and forced Eijirou to sit on the bed facing Katsuki. I reached my hand down and jerked his cock.

Katsuki looked like he didn't know where to focus. His gaze flicked from me to Eijirou to his dick to my strap. His cock stood harder than I've ever seen it, a fountain of pre-cum dripping down. He trembled and I saw the look in his eyes become desperate as I leaned into Eijirou's ear. My hand curled around his throat and he tensed. His cock twitched in my hand and by the way he was desperately thrusting into my grip, I knew he was close. In this moment, Eijirou was a slave to his desires.

"Cum all over him." I growled in his ear.

With a loud cry, he came all over Katsuki who looked ten seconds from cumming himself. Eijirou panted as I milked him for all he was worth. Then I let go.

"Please someone touch my cock." Katsuki whined.

Eijirou shakily sat up and he must've glared because Katsuki's mouth snapped shut.

"You just want a touch?" He growled.

He held up his foot to Katsuki.

"If you're that desperate, grind on my foot and cum."

Katsuki didn't move, warring with his pride. Eijirou used his foot to press down and rubbed up and down his cock. Katsuki blushed, clearly embarrassed but his body shivered at the contact. He looked away.

"You seem to like this Kacchan." Eijirou mocked. "You can cum right now if you want."

He shook his head. "No. Please. Please fuck me." Katsuki begged.

"Are you gonna be patient til I'm done with your girlfriend?" He asked.

Katsuki whimpered and nodded.

"Good boy."

Katsuki's body jolted and he blushed. Eijirou scoffed and pulled me back onto the bed. He glanced at Katsuki and a wicked gleam entered his eye. He stood at the edge of the bed where I was before, standing behind me.

"I think he deserves a little punishment yea?" Eijirou asked me.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I think I want to remind Katsuki what he's waiting for." He said playfully. "Bend over."

I got on my hands and knees hesitantly. Eijirou undid the harness. I gave him a questioning look but I let him do what he needed to. Then he grabbed my neck and pushed down gently. Oh...oh. My breath picked up.

"Y/N. You can tell me to stop at any point." He said gently. "Okay?"

"Okay. I will." I said breathlessly.

He lined up at my entrance and I was nervous. Sure I was soaked but I've never...not with someone so big. He pushed in and I felt the air being punched out of me. He sank in slowly inch by inch forever until miraculously somehow he fit all the way inside.

"While we wait for you to adjust, I'm going to give you some tips." He said gently.

"Always try to introduce something familiar with new things. It helps the receiving person relax." He said gently as his finger circled my clit.

I nodded, my body trembling. I moved my hips and let out a shaky breath.

"And asking is usually a turn on." Eijirou said, his voice a low rumble. "For example, how hard do you want me to fuck you in front of your boyfriend?"

My body tightened up, Eijirou rubbed my back with a light laugh.

"If you look, you'll realize he kinda likes this."

I glanced up at Katsuki to see him panting, his cock twitching in anticipation. He gripped the covers, a steam rising from where his hands laid. He was biting his lips, eyes trained on me. I looked back at Eijirou.

"Hard." I said.

His hands gripped my hips, snapping his forward and I saw stars. I couldn't move, he used me as a fleshlight, thrusting into my a-spot over and over and over. I whimpered and sobbed, unable to get a grip on who I was.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god" I chanted, my voice cracking under the intensity.

He put his hand around my neck and pulled my back by my arms. He put one leg up on the bed and thrusted even deeper than before.

"Look at your boyfriend, pet. Make sure he sees." Eijirou commanded.

It wasn't like I had a choice. He kept my face in place and forced me to look. I could only imagine what he saw. His girlfriend drooling and moaning around a cock that isn't his. A monstrous mountain of a man who's pace was relentless and unforgiving. The smoke on the covers burned hotter, more dark, releasing an acrid smell. His cock was a very angry red, full of unreleased cum. His pupils were dilated as he watched Eijirou fuck me.

"You wanna get fucked like this Katsuki?" He growled. "Answer me."

"Yes." Katsuki answered, he looked at me. "Please."

"Good. After this she will." Eijirou hummed, pleased.

He rubbed my clit and I convulsed around his cock. I don't know if he came. I didn't even know what fucking day it was. All I knew was my body crumpling in on itself trying to contain the pleasure I was feeling. When my body stilled, Eijirou pulled out with a loud squelch. I looked back and his cock was drenched. A long string of slick dripped off of his softening cock.

"I think he's been patient enough. Don't you?" Eijirou said to me, glancing at Katsuki.

Give me a minute big guy sheesh.

I looked at Katsuki. He was shaking, obedient and still. Pupils almost drowning out the red as he tried so hard to be good. I smiled a little ruefully knowing I'm going to need a few days after all this. I pointed to my harness and Eijirou handed it to me. I willed feeling back into my everything as I looked at Katsuki.

"Turn around." I said and Katsuki immediately obliged.

"Eijirou. Suck his dick." I said. "Please."

He crawled over, barely recovered from his orgasm and laid down under Katsuki, licking the tip. Katsuki moaned obscenely loud at the contact, earning a chuckle from Eijirou. I crawled onto the bed, grabbing Katsuki's ass as I positioned myself, straddling over Eijirou's body.

"Ready?"

"Yes mistress." Katsuki whimpered. "Please fuck me like that."

Holy fucking shit.

A thrill ran down my spine as I thrusted into him hard. A harsh cry ripped out of his throat and I was worried for a second.

"D-don't stop." He whimpered. "Please."

"Eijirou, suck him like your life depends on it." I grunted.

Then I pounded into him. The loud slap of skin meeting skin played just over the sound of Eijirou slurping and slobbering all over Katsuki's cock. Katsuki wailed and writhed, unable to handle all the sensations coming at once. Eijirou gripped his legs and I grabbed his hair, never stopping my pace.

Pretty whines and moans rained out his mouth as he sobbed into the pillows. Garbled half words punched out of his mouth as he flew closer and closer to the edge. Trying to communicate but ultimately being too cock drunk to do it effectively.

"Cl-close-" he managed to choke out.

Little explosions popped out of his hands and we were ruining his sheets but I wasn't going to stop. Eijirou deepthroated him and I thrusted two more times before he let out a loud strangled cry and came everywhere. I kept going, watching Katsuki breathlessly thanking me for fucking him and letting him come. Eijirou choked and sputtered as he moved out of the way slightly. Katsuki's breath stuttered as he kept cumming all over the sheets. When he stopped, he collapsed on his side. Eyes screwed shut, tears down his face, breathing heavy. I removed the harness immediately and sat him up, holding him. I looked at Eijirou who was using unruined parts of the sheets to wipe himself off. He also was looking at Katsuki carefully.

"Hey baby. Are you okay?" I asked delicately.

He breathed for half a minute, my anxiety growing with each second that passed.

"Maybe I should call you daddy." He said

I snorted and Eijirou cackled. Katsuki laughed lightly and snuggled into me. He looked over to Eijirou and motioned him over. We all cuddled into each other needing some softness after all that.

"Seriously though. Was it okay?" I asked. "The pegging part."

"We're doing that again." He said.

I looked over to Eijirou who kind of held me like a teddy bear.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like I shouldn't feel as good as I do right now." He murmured.

Why not?

"You dating anyone else?" I asked.

"No." He said. Then he paused. "Else?"

"Not that I'm implying we're dating you now or..." I scrambled, making sure Eijirou didn't feel any pressure.

"We should probably at least take him to dinner after all this." Katsuki mumbled.

"No yea I think that's the least we could do." I agreed

"Uhh?? I had fun?? I should take you guys to dinner, I intruded." Eijirou insisted.

"So anyway, Katsuki, I'm thinking of that one place? The one we passed the other day that looked nice?" I said to Katsuki.

"I'll check the menu later but that's a good idea." He mumbled.

Eijirou looked between us and huffed.

"You guys are stubborn when you're not horny." He grumbled.

"Speaking of horny." I said, turning towards Eijirou and opened my legs.

He looked down, watching his seed drip out. He blushed but he couldn't keep his eyes off of it. It was like a puppy looking at a treat. I sighed and closed my legs.

"Two guys with a breeding kink. We're really gonna test the limits of my birth control huh."

Eijirou jumped.

"Oh shit."

"Yea Katsu said the same thing." I grumbled.

"Sorry..." Eijirou pouted.

I looked at him with wide eyes. He looked to the side, guilty. A pout prominent on his face as thoughts ran through his head. He's so cute. I grabbed him with a tight hug and a huge smile.

"It's okay!" I said, grabbing his face. "Seriously. I was kidding."

He hesitantly grabbed my hips, his eyes still concerned.

"You sure? I mean, I rushed in here without thinking..." he trailed off then another lightbulb went off. "Also I'm tested, I mean STD free. I got tested after my last hookup and it was clean and that was several months ago-"

I covered his mouth to stop his rambling.

"We're also clean." I said. "Also several months? That's a while."

"Hookups can be fun but....it's not my thing." He said softly avoiding our gazes.

Katsuki sat up and roughly hugged Eijirou.

"You better not be implying that was just a hookup idiot."

Eijirou blushed and untangled himself.

"Then what was it?"' He asked softly.

"It sure as hell wasn't casual." Katsuki huffed. "I've...I've never. Done anything like this with anyone."

"I've also...never done anything like this." I agreed. "And we both wanted you here so that counts for something right?"

"We can-" Eijirou started.

"I-" Katsuki said.

They looked at each other. Katsuki cleared his throat.

"We don't have to talk about this now." Eijirou said softly.

"Well we have to do something because otherwise you wouldn't look like that!" Katsuki huffed angrily.

"If this was just something spontaneous that's fine-"

"You were the reason I was open to this!" Katsuki yelled."

We both looked at him.

"I," He gulped and ran his hands through his hair. "There was a while when...I thought...I thought about being with you like this. More often than I was willing to admit." He said softly a blush creeping across his features.

I looked away, waiting for a sting that didn't come. I was surprised to find out I was completely fine with this. So Eijirou was the person everyone thought Katsuki would end up with. Makes sense.

"But we were both trying to build our careers and I needed to recover from the bullshit that happened during our high school years. Then years kept passing by."

Eijirou looked at me. I flicked my eyes to Katsuki and he looked back at him.

"When we were talking about the pegging thing, it brought me back." He said softly. "It...probably never really left. When you told me that you liked us. I was relieved. I know it took alot for you to admit that but I'm glad you did."

Katsuki looked at me, throat bobbing. Waiting. Scared. I don't mind Katsuki liking Eijirou. But both of us being with him stirred feelings.

"This scares me a bit. To be honest." I said softly.

Eijirou and Katsuki froze up. For a moment, before he covered it up, Katsuki looked heartbroken.

"I'm not against it, I just...I can't launch into it." I said.

I sighed deeply and decided to rip the bandaid off.

"Hosei used to make me sleep with other people and then get mad that I did it. This clearly isn't that. And neither of you are like that. I'm just scared."

"And...this sucks to say. Like really sucks but I'm scared you'll like him more than me." I said squeezing my eyes shut. "You guys have a ton of history. Which isn't fair at all and it's dumb but I'm intimidated. What if I don't fit?"

One of them moved towards me and I backed up a bit. I opened my eyes and kept them on the blanket below us.

"I'm...also scared of having more to lose." I said softly. "I just...feel like I got lucky and don't want to push it. I'm anxious and scared. A lot. With anything new and-"

Katsuki crawled over, picked me up and plopped me in between him and Eijirou. Both of them felt warm. And safe.

"Does this feel right to you?"

It did. But.

"Yes or no?" Katsuki asked.

I nodded my head.

"Do you want to date Eijirou, or work towards that?" He asked.

I looked up at him. His eyes were full of concern and understanding. He was built like a bear and had a really nice smile and made me feel safe. But what if-

One guy is never enough for you

You always make me feel like I'm not enough, that's why I bring more guys. It's for you.

Hosei's voice started to morph and shape more onto Katsuki's and I felt panic claw up my throat. I balled my hands into fists willing it to stop there before it consumed me.

"Yes." I said before the doubts could fully form.

Eijirou blushed. Katsuki turned me towards him.

"You won't ever lose me. Or have to compete or whatever. We'll talk it out and see how it goes. I'll always love you. I just also love him. Is that okay?"

Doubts swirled and broke apart before fully formed. They mixed together into new doubts and resurfaced as old ones. All bubbling in my chest.

But what if everything went right?

An image of me sitting in Eijirou's lap while we waited for Katsuki to come home. Planning a surprise together with Katsuki for Eijirou. More hugs. More kisses. Alot of love. And Katsuki would be happy. Really happy. And I could be happy. I wasn't currently in love with Eijirou but he's the kind of guy I could easily love.

"We have to communicate. Like everything." I said.

I looked over to Eijirou who sat very still and very quiet.

"How do you feel about all this? Be honest." I said.

"I'm kind of in shock. About everything."

We looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I mean in high school, I had feelings for you Katsuki. But you were so focused and I...I didn't feel good enough."

"You- what?" Katsuki sputtered a vein popping out.

"Just-! You and Midoriya were doing things I couldn't even dream of and I just didn't want to get in the way. And after everything settled, I knew you needed a friend. I knew you needed time. So I just...hid the feelings until they disappeared." He said softly. "When it was too much, I'd hook up to try to forget. Eventually the feelings did go away."

He turned towards me.

"When he got with you, I wasn't even jealous. So I was sure I moved on. I even thought 'wow they look good together, good for them' but I always felt a little sad after thinking that."

He looked at Katsuki.

"Then you guys had a rough spot and it hurt to see you hurting. I wanted to take care of you. And...I was mad at her for hurting you. So when I found out about Midoriya and Yoko's plan, I wanted to help."

He looked away and turned towards the wall, a little blush on his face.

"And when I shared stories about Katsuki, I could see you still loved him and I was so relieved. None of what I was feeling made sense. Til you guys fucked at the office."

The blush on his cheeks deepened as he curled into himself, focusing on not meeting either of our eyes.

"My very first thought was 'I want to be there too.' And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I was in love with two people. People who I don't even know are interested. It sucked."

"Eijirou." I said.

He didn't move. I narrowed my eyes and reached out, grabbing his cheeks and pulling them outwards. He pried me off with tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.

"What was that for?!"

"I got so mad hearing you shit talk yourself I needed to take it out."

He gaped his mouth at me.

"I want to know how you feel about this. When you ignore the anxiety." I said.

"I kind of..." He said softly with a blush. "I mean I obviously want to take this slow but. I...really want to." He blushed.

Katsuki lightly punched his arm.

"Quit holding back. Just say what you're thinking."

"I really liked cumming inside you." He blurted out.

I widened my eyes.

"And I like all of us hugging. And I actually do want us to go to dinner together. And I've wanted to kiss Katsuki for a really long time." He stammered. "And I've fantasized about him sucking my dick more times than I can count. I've probably fantasized about the reverse just as much."

He put his hands over his face, violently blushing. Katsuki snorted.

"I asked Yoko to send me a picture of you in that cheerleader outfit."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. He was so cute and I was so relieved and everything was so new.

"Don't laugh! Are you really okay with this?" He whined.

I climbed into his lap and put his arms around me. His dick jumped when he felt the remnants of our combined cum drip onto it. I laid my hand on his chest. He eventually hugged me.

"I'm okay with it as long as you give me lots of hugs." I said.

He hugged me tight.

"I can do that." He said so sincerely it made me laugh again. "Everyday if you need me to."

I looked at Katsuki who looked complete. I obviously can't predict whether this will work out. But I'd gamble anything for him to look like this. And based on how nice this feels, I'd say we've got good odds.

"So for now, I guess you're dating us." Katsuki said, trying to conceal his eagerness.

"I guess so." Eijirou murmured.

He leaned over and pecked Katsuki on the lips, whose eyes widened. Then he leaned into the kiss. They kissed each other shyly. Then got into the kiss. I...liked seeing them together. He broke off from Katsuki. Katsuki gave him an awkward smile and hugged him. Eijirou smiled wide and hugged back tightly. We sat there for a while longer before deciding to take a bath. It was a tight fit but none of us really wanted to be apart yet. We got clean and climbed into bed. Katsuki and I decided to put Eijirou in the middle just in case he tried to doubt himself at some point.

After a bit of adjusting we ended up sleeping. Both of them were heat radiators so the room was almost too cozy. I managed to fall sleep after cuddling into Eijirou. Shuffling woke me up. Based on how deeply Katsuki seems to be asleep it's been at least an hour. I looked over to see Eijirou trying to get himself off. I sat up and he froze. I looked at him, then his cock.

"Want some help?" I whispered.

He looked away. I smiled and got close to him.

"Doesn't morning wood usually happen in the morning?" I joked.

"I got excited about things we could do. At first it was cute then..." He trailed off.

"Wanna tell me one of your fantasies?" I asked sleepily.

"It's...related to earlier." He said reluctantly.

I mentally recapped the events until a lightbulb hit me. Then I straddled him, pressing the tip of his erect cock at my entrance. Then I leaned in.

"You want me to be your little cum slut?" I whispered in his ear.

He jumped, his breathing turned heavy.

"Yes." He whispered back.

I sunk down on him, ignoring the slight sting. His cock throbbed, I could tell he was already close. He grabbed my ass and maneuvered me the way he liked.

"Don't hold back." I said softly

He picked up the pace, sucking on my tits as he rammed into me. His breathing was becoming unsteady as he got close to the finish line. The slap of skin on skin wet and loud. He grunted and came, spurt after spurt of his seed coating my insides

"My turn." Katsuki huffed.

I jumped as Katsuki sat up. He motioned for me to get up. He rubbed Eijirou's cock and it seemed to magically come to life. No refractory period.

"Nitroglycerin." He said simply.

"Good to know." I said mentally putting away that note for later.

They passed me back and forth a few rounds til they were satisfied. At this point, I was ready to pass out so I was grateful. Katsuki wanted to ride Eijirou but his ass was sore. I also imagine Eijirou's size was intimidating even to the new Katsuki who suddenly loved to bottom. We sleepily stripped the bed and balled up the sheets to wash in the morning. Once we put another set of sheets on the bed we all curled together and slept. It may have been gross but I was too damn tired to bathe.

This time, I woke up alone with the curtains drawn tight. Given how bright the little peeks of sunlight were in the spaces between the drapes, it was probably around noon. I grabbed the nearest t-shirt, which was surprisingly huge on me and tried to look for signs of the guys. When I noticed the Crimson Riot logo, the size of the shirt made a lot more sense. The smell of food pulled me towards the kitchen and I heard their voices drift into the hallway as I got closer.

"...don't want to."

"Kats I do, I'm just kinda worried. What if-I mean-"

"Ei are you having second thoughts?"

"No. I mean well Y/N..."

I stopped walking, trying to listen in. They stayed silent a beat too long and suddenly Katsuki whipped around the corner with a spatula in hand. A long stare in his eyes.

"Nice to see you're awake."

I smiled sheepishly at him and walked into the kitchen. I glanced at Eijirou who quickly looked away from me. My eyebrows pulled together.

"Y/N..." He called out softly. "Do you...How do you feel about last night?"

Honestly? Still processing but the things I did process...

I walked up to Eijirou and wrapped my arms around him. He froze for a second and hugged me back.

"Still processing. But I like waking up to you if that goes for anything." I answered into his chest.

His chest moved as a tiny sigh of relief left him. He rubbed my back.

"You hungry?" He asked, pulling a plate over.

"Starving."

We ate and joked around. Well, I mostly watched Eijirou and Katsuki banter back and forth. And I realized I felt completely happy. I was distinctly aware that not too long ago this was a seemingly impossible wish I buried deep down. To be with people who made me happy and cared. Who I also cared for and would do anything for. There wasn't anything lacking in this moment for me.

Well, there was just one thing.

Memories of how I acted at the start of yesterday replayed. Not just yesterday. There's so many times it's affected me. And a part of me felt ashamed, angry and defeated. I've been in enough therapy to know that healing takes time. That it wasn't unreasonable to have this reaction. I could practically feel Dr. Serwa's leather chair as she would tell me time and time again that leaving was the brave act. And she's right. Hands down. I know this and know this well.

But that part of me hated it. Here I was. Still cowering under just the memory of him. The last I saw Hosei, I was sobbing into Auntie's arms at his abuse. The time before that I just disappeared into the night. It might've been stupid but that tiny part of me needed him to see me okay. That I got back on my feet. That I'm thriving. It's stupid and almost a guaranteed bad idea but I needed it.

His opinion meant nothing to me. But mine did. And I hated myself for running away from him literally every time we parted ways. Even if it was always the right call for me to do so. I wanted to be strong and happy in front of him just once. And leave. Not in a panic or out of fear. Just once, where I'm in control. My smile faded a little bit as I considered the options. I stabbed my fork in the last bite of my food as I landed on a decision.

For the sake of that tiny part of me that needs it. I'll see Hosei one last time.

TO BE CONTINUED

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader x kirishima #bakugo x kirishima #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x y/n #bakugou smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugo katuski #bnha bakugou #mha #bakugo smut #momento

[ao3feed-hawks]

On the Other Side of the Glass

On the Other Side of the Glass by QuesoAzul 00

“You're a piece of shit.” “I know.” “I hate you.” “I know.” “Then why are you here?” “I don't know.” “Then leave.” “No.” Dabi looked past the glass divider into his father's eyes. Yes, his father. The man he had set his sights on putting into the ground, the man who was responsible for all his suffering, the man who made him fly too close to the sun, the physical representation of everything he never became, was sitting across from him, refusing to leave his fucking cell. OR: After getting arrested, Dabi has been locked up in Tartarus for the past two years. Endeavor pays him a very awkward visit and manages to kickstart the beginning of what will be the most disorienting journey in Dabi's life: being apart of a family again- for realsies?

Words: 946, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Fuyumi, Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Rei

Relationships: Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Dabi & Todoroki Enji & Todoroki Fuyumi & Todoroki Natsuo & Todoroki Shouto, Dabi | Todoroki Touya & Todoroki Rei, Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks

Additional Tags: Tags will probably be updated at some point in time, Slow To Update, Minor Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks, They're there they just aren't the main focus, This fic will focus more on family dynamics and healing, Todoroki Family Drama, Todoroki Family-centric, Todoroki Family Feels, Todoroki Family Shenanigans, Eventual Happy Ending, Healing, mentions of trauma and child abuse, dabi goes to rehab, lol, I just want them to be happy is that too much to ask for?, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor Faces Consequences, endeavor owning up to his mistakes and actually putting in effort to be better, not an endeavor apologist fic, Nice Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, title is a work in progress, I am not caught up on the manga, so don't expect this to be a continuation I genuinely have no clue what is going on, Not Beta Read

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47370439

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Hotwings #♥ #Dabihawks #Hotwings #Enji Todoroki #Shouto Todoroki #Fuyumi Todoroki #Natsuo Todoroki #⚣ #R:T #A:Queso #Hurt Comfort

[forestwater87]

Chapter 15: Grand Gesture

Summary: GRAND GESTURE: He or she must be willing to put it all on the line now or risk losing the one thing they need to become whole-hearted. It’s life or death now.

CW: Smut in the last third of the chapter. Questionable quality.

Summer 2017

“Fuck!” Gwen felt her center of gravity shift as she leaned forward, overbalancing on the rickety chair she’d been using to reach the ceiling. It tipped perilously on two legs, then lost the fight with physics and sent her sprawling with a crash that shook the dozens of tiny papers taped around the room. She hit the ground with her hip and the side of her face, one of them making a disturbing crunch sound and both shooting bright white pain down her entire right side. “Shit!”

She was halfway to her feet, wondering if the crossed-eyes dizzy feeling was from lack of sleep, hitting her head, or marker fumes, when fingers closed around her upper arm and she was hauled upright. “Gwen! Goodness, are you okay?” David let go of her, his gaze roving around the room as he took a step back. “What happened in here?”

She looked around, taking a deep breath and noticing for the first time in hours the thick perfume of tacky glue and paint, as though David walking in had turned her senses back on. It was done, mostly. Well, no — it’d never really be done, but it was enough to prove her point.

She hoped.

While she was panicking, David had wandered over to the center of the room, ducking to avoid a string of origami animals dangling from the ceiling. “Is this for camp?”

“Yes — I mean, no, it’s from camp, and maybe we can reuse some of it but no, it’s . . . not really . . .” She’d planned this, during her mad crafting frenzy: how David would come home, wonder what she was doing, and she’d carefully tour him through everything — or maybe she’d let him get on with his morning routine while she added a few more things, made it just a bit closer to perfect.

But his presence had pulled her to a halt. She’d been like a shark all night, afraid to stop moving or she’d die, but now that he was here she felt drained, the giddy, terrified adrenaline that’d been keeping her going evaporating in an instant.

Though hey. At least she had a good reason to be tired, for once.

He frowned at her discarded supplies strewn carelessly around the room. “Are these from Art Camp?”

The question jolted her into action, and she stumbled forward jerkily, like the Tin Man without oil. “Yeah, but I already took it out of my paycheck, it’s fine. I’ll go shopping tomorrow for new stuff.” She wanted him to hear what she really meant, what she was trying to put together through exhausted babbling: that this was important, that it was worth sacrificing sleep and money for, that she loved him and she respected him and she wanted him to know that.

Finally, finally, he turned his attention to the walls. “Gwen, what is all this?”

“It’s you,” she blurted out, then winced and rested her forehead in her palm. “No, that’s not — it’s — some of the stuff you’ve taught me, look . . .” She took his hand, her nerves trembling at the brush of his fingers against her own, and pulled him toward the doorway. She’d made a messy semicircle around the room, right to left like a supermarket. Dropping his hand, she took a step back, steepling her fingers like she was praying and pressing them to her lips with another steadying breath.

She had one chance.

“Okay,” she began. “So . . .”

---

Gwen looked like she was on the verge of falling over, listing dangerously to the side as she led him across the room. There were feathers in her hair, and scraps of paper; she was speckled with color, marker and paint and even a smear of glitter glue on the tip of her nose, the pads of her fingers nearly black with a rainbow of ink that stained his hand as she held it. It was obvious she hadn’t slept, even more obvious that she desperately needed to.

But her eyes were bright even if the circles under them were dark, and she thrummed with an energy and animation David hadn’t seen all summer.

And he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt her, not when it finally felt like she’d returned to him.

“— song you taught me last year,” she said, and he felt a flash of guilt that he hadn’t been listening. She tapped the paper she’d stuck to the wall, the lyrics of his Camp Campbell song scrawled across it in uneven lines. “All the camp activities, remember? At least the most important ones.”

(It was really just the ones that fit best into the rhyme scheme, but he didn’t correct her as she moved on to a second piece of paper.)

“This is a list of all the facts about nature I’ve learned since I started here,” she continued, gesturing. This one was crammed so tightly with writing that he could barely read it, bullet points snaking in all directions and increasingly smaller handwriting as it moved down the page, until finally Gwen had started attaching sticky notes to the wall below and around the list. “I had to keep going back and adding things as I thought of them. I know I’m forgetting something, but I can’t —” She gestured around her head in a classic “scatterbrained” motion, chuckling weakly. “I’m kind of all over the place right now.”

Next: a bullseye, a pencil stuck point-first into the wall. “I couldn’t really shoot an arrow,” Gwen explained, “but remember that summer you taught me archery? I’m still pretty good at it — we went to a shooting range for Claire’s birthday last year and I was the only one who hit the target every time.”

Next: a messy drawing of a forest, a little stick figure kneeling next to a moss-covered rock. “That one time we got lost in the woods trying to find a good place for bug-catching, you got us out because you knew how to find north. You’d be pretty great in a zombie apocalypse.”

Next: a sheet of black construction paper poked through with holes, hastily taped to the back window so light from the lamp outside shone through in little pinpricks. He leaned closer and realized that they were in the rough shape of the constellations visible above Lake Lilac. “I didn't know much about stars and shit outside of, like, horoscope stuff — I mean, in the city you can’t even see them — but you always pointed out which constellations and planets were out during the summer and now I know them all too.”

And on, and on. Scale models of the crafts and activities they’d done at Camp Campbell, nature facts, and on one wall she’d tacked up a typewritten letter to the Director of Admissions at Queen’s University Belfast. Skimming it quickly, it looked to David like an application.

“I was trying to get into their Environmental Science program. I wrote about Sleepy Peak Peak and Lake Lilac,” she admitted, looking almost embarrassed. “I got in. And I mean, they’re not the best program out there, but they’re still in the top 300 worldwide so that’s pretty cool, I guess —”

“Belfast?” He leaned in closer, confirming that he’d read correctly. “Isn’t that in England?”

“Yeah.” She looked impressed, and he suppressed a weary smirk; yes, he did know a bit about the world outside of Camp Campbell. But she surprised him by adding, “I had to look that up, actually.” She shrugged. “Guess I should’ve just asked you, huh?

“Anyway, that was a couple years ago. I didn’t go, obviously,” she added, responding to his unspoken question. “International travel’s a bitch. I needed a scholarship, and my grades weren’t good enough. I think I only got in at all because of my letter.” She gestured at it, not quite meeting his eyes. “Which I never thanked you for. Or most of the stuff I’ve learned from you. I’ve been . . . kinda taking all that for granted. So, uh . . . thanks, David.”

He wanted to tell her she was welcome, that she didn’t need to thank him at all. That sharing these things with her had been the highlight of his life since they’d met, even if it hadn’t seemed like she cared about any of it. But there was a lump quivering dangerously in his throat and he didn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nodded.

After a second she cleared her throat awkwardly and led him over to a row of stick figures hanging from the ceiling. “Some of these are from Yoga Camp,” she said, pointing at a few of the ones contorted into uncomfortable shapes, “but also all that other stuff you do. Like smile exercises —” and yes, one of the stick figures had a big pink smiley face, “— and breathing techniques and stuff. I use those sometimes when I’m having a panic attack. They really help, even if smile exercises still make me feel like a dumbass most of the time.”

The decorations started to get more abstract as they made their way around the room, simple crafts and trivia giving way to colorful scribbles and symbols, representing things he’d said to her about her relationship with her parents, her love life. “You have really good advice, you know that? You could be the next Dear Abby or something, seriously. I think that’s still running.”

(It was; he read it every morning with his pre-breakfast tea.)

“These get worse, sorry . . . I was getting tired.” Gwen jerked her chin up at a wobbly butterfly — or was it a bird? — dangling over their heads. “I use your advice about hummingbird-ing all the time. With writing, mostly, but sometimes at work or something, too.”

He gently reached up and touched the bird’s feet, watching it spin in a lazy circle. Technically the idea had been his mother’s, a way to avoid burnout by flitting from one project to another and adding just a little bit to each, instead of devoting all energy and resources to one thing and slogging through until it was done. The whole idea was part of his ethos of being a counselor — wasn’t Camp Campbell a place to get a little taste of everything, after all? He remembered explaining it to Gwen during her first week at camp, just over five years ago.

He wouldn’t have ever imagined that she’d actually remembered.

He didn’t think she remembered any of this.

But the evidence was all around him — on the walls, hanging from the ceiling, dozens of examples, mementos of the tiny moments that meant everything to him. Immortalized, remembered, in increasingly sloppy handwriting and doodles.

In the corner was a bright red card that looked familiar. David moved over to it and laughed in recognition: it was one he’d sent her after her first or second summer at Camp Campbell, when he’d seen on Facebook that she was looking for work. He tugged it off the wall, careful not to damage the cheap cardstock, and smiled down at the deer wearing a plaid hunting cap, which he’d made out of tissue paper and markers (he’d gotten much better since then, thanks to a few years of Decoupage Camps).

‘Good luck on your job HUNT! I know you’ll slay the interview!’

“I’ve kept that for years to show my friends,” Gwen said, making him jump; he hadn’t realized she’d come up behind him, but she was close enough to nearly rest her head against his. “I felt like it really captured the kind of guy you were.”

Her breath prickled the side of his neck, and he distracted himself by opening the card — ‘oh deer, is this joke going on too long? I feel like it’s overkill!’ — noticing how worn the crease was, like she’d opened and closed it hundreds of times. “Does it?”

He felt her shake her head without having to face her, stray wisps of hair that’d escaped her ponytail tickling his cheek. “Not even close.”

Unable to resist, he looked back at her over his shoulder, and she took his arm, turning him around the rest of the way. He thought she was going to kiss him — she was close enough that he could see a smeary glue thumbprint on her cheek and what looked like half a smiley-face sticker in her hair — but she just took the card from him, setting it carefully on the couch before taking hold of both his hands. Her expression was grave, shining faint with hope, and between the craft debris and her naked earnestness, she looked incredibly young and vulnerable.

“There’s more,” she said, gesturing with her chin toward the far wall, “and I’ll let — I want you to look at it, but . . . I just had to tell you, I’ve been taking you for granted and it’s not right. I’ve been pretending I still think of you as this —” Pulling one of her hands away, she picked up the card again, her fingers shaking so the deer’s toothpick antlers clacked together, “— sweet, silly, kinda childish David, who belongs with someone sweet, and silly, and kinda childish. And I tried to be that and . . . I mean I sucked at it,” she said, breaking off with a weak laugh, dropping her eyes to their joined hands. “And it . . . kind of broke me. But I didn’t even think to ask if that was what you wanted, because I thought I knew what you needed, and that was — so, really fucked.” She looked back up at him, her eyes dancing with purple fire, her grip on his hand tightening. “And I — I don’t, you know so much that I don’t — I could fill the entire cabin with stuff I’ve learned from you, this doesn’t even scratch the surface.”

She paused, like she was waiting for him to interject, but David felt like he’d been turned to stone, paralyzed and unblinking while his brain whirled.

“But none of it matters if it doesn’t show . . . if you don’t know —” Her voice cracked, and she dropped his other hand, pressing a fist to her mouth. “— h-how amazing you are, how much you matter to this camp and to me and . . . and I didn’t know people could actually be happy 'til I met you. I mean, I guess I knew technically, but not that it was a real thing people actually were. But you figured it out. You’ve known what you wanted since you were a kid and then you got it and I’ve never done anything without second-guessing myself a million times but you just did it, and it meant making so many decisions about your life that could’ve turned out wrong but they didn’t because they were the right ones for you. And you knew it. You always have.” She swiped at her eyes with the heels of her hands, crying in earnest now. “You’re a marvel, David. I should’ve said that every fucking day. And I know it’s probably too little, too late, but I’m sorry. For not telling you and — and for everything.

“And I . . .” She swallowed hard, taking a few heaving breaths before continuing, and he knew she was trying to hold onto her composure even as tears poured down her cheeks, “I don’t know what you wanna do. With — with us, I mean. But you’re right, I haven’t been a good girlfriend to you, and if you don’t want to . . . if you want me to leave right now or after the summer ends or if you just wanna be friends or whatever , that’s fine. A-and — if you do . . . y’know . . .” Her face crumpled, her shoulders curling in on themselves. “I love you so much,” she managed, her words harder to make out through damp, hiccuping breaths. “Whatever — whatever you want — I — I — I trust you.”

Understanding pierced his chest, a small pinhole that allowed light to pour, warm and white, into his heart.

“I trust you.”

David hadn’t realized how desperately he’d needed to hear those words until that moment.

He stepped forward, plucking the card from her hand and tossing it onto the floor (he could make her another one, dozens if she wanted, hundreds) and tilting her chin up so he could kiss her. Her cheeks were wet under his palms, her mouth salty and acidic with the taste of not-quite-morning breath, and each brush of his lips against hers was broken by her pulling back to drag in a sobbing gasp, her mouth moving clumsily like she was as close to fainting from exhaustion and emotion as she looked.

It was, without question, the best kiss of his life.

He broke away to press his forehead against hers, sliding his hands from her face to cup the back of her neck and closing his eyes. “I love you too, Gwen,” he murmured, his heart fluttering at the giddily-incredulous, teary laugh she gave in response. “And I think you need to go to bed.”

She leaned back, and the bleary confusion on her face was so precious he rose up on his toes to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Huh? But what about . . .”

“I’ve got some stuff to think about,” he said, then gestured at the crafts she hadn’t shown him yet, “and look at. And after that . . . we should talk. But it won’t be a very good talk if you fall asleep,” he added with a laugh as her eyes drifted closed.

She opened them halfway, just enough to glare at him, but the effect would’ve been more intimidating if she hadn’t been swaying slightly. “’m fine.” The adrenaline that’d been keeping her going was clearly wearing off fast, and David was a little worried she wouldn’t make it to bed, that he’d just find her unconscious on the floor of the hallway. “You didn’t sleep either,” she accused, pointing at him with a finger stained silvery with graphite.

Goodness, he loved her so much he couldn’t stand it. “I had a nap.” Not a long one, but he was used to not sleeping much. “Get some rest. We’ll talk in the morning.”

“It’s already the morning,” she complained, but like a sleepy robot she turned and shuffled back toward the front of the cabin. “I’m gonna brush my teeth and shower and stuff. So I look less like a sludge goblin.”

“You do that, Gwen.” He waited until the bathroom door had clicked shut before turning back to the mess she’d made of their living room. It was almost hard to tell the difference between what was art and what was trash left over, there was so much of both; it looked like an explosion had hit a crafts store.

Gwen wasn’t someone who put a lot of effort into things she didn’t care about. It was one of the most frustrating things about having her as a coworker, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love how unabashedly honest she was, how he could read her feelings just by looking at her work.

There was the soft sound of tape unsticking and one of the decorations sagged, a corner curling away from the wall and drooping down. He pushed it carefully back into place and fumbled for his phone, setting it to camera mode.

This was worth remembering.

---

Gwen was positive she’d never be able to fall asleep; how could she, when things were still so up in the air? But she wasn’t twenty anymore, and after the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of the last few hours — days, weeks; hell, if she was being honest it’d been years since she’d truly felt well-rested — and despite the anxiety buzzing inside her skull she was out in moments.

Soft fingers in her hair drew her back to earth, and when she opened her eyes David came into focus, crouching next to her bed so they were at eye level. He smiled as she blinked at him, warmth and sunshine he probably didn’t even know he was emitting. “Goooood morning, Gwen!” he chirped, his voice way too loud for how close they were, and she winced. “Sorry,” he added, his voice dropping to a murmur. “Habit.”

“It’s fine,” she said, because she’d missed his morning bellow so much more than she could ever miss having non-punctured eardrums. She sat up, clumsily swiping at her face to double-check for drool or errant eye gunk. “Morning.”

“How are you feeling?” He hopped onto the bed, making her and everything else on the mattress bounce. He was being so . . . normal, like all the drama last night had been a dream.

Fuck it. They had some hard, painful conversations coming; she could enjoy a little bit of normalcy while her brain booted back up. “Good,” she replied, yawning. “I mean, tired, but I’m always tired so —” Her blood chilled, and suddenly she was wide awake.

There went normal. All because she had to remind him of what an unloveable disaster she was.

But when she looked back up he didn’t seem annoyed. He leaned against the wall, stretching his legs out so they dangled off the edge of the bed. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She scoffed before she could stop herself, and his gaze flicked up to hers, taking her breath away. (God, how she’d functioned for almost four years without feeling more than a flicker of attraction to this man was unfathomable.) “Really. I want to know what’s going on with you.” His hand landed on her knee, light as a bird but blazingly warm even through her blankets. “All I want is for you to let me in.”

A swell of emotion swept up from somewhere in her chest, causing her eyes to prick with tears for the thousandth time. She looked away and sniffed as discreetly as possible — which wasn’t very, she assumed, since he immediately reached over and handed her a tissue from the pack he kept stashed in his pockets. “I mean, if you want me to complain, I can do that,” she muttered, tamping down another flow of tears through willpower. “I can complain about fucking anything.”

David’s laugh made her turn back toward him, because it didn’t have a trace of sadness or pity or anything she’d expected. It was so purely, entirely delighted , more than even he could fake, and he was looking at her like she’d said something surprising and wonderful.

“You really like it,” she blurted out, unable to hide the awe in her voice. “That I’m like this. Whiny and —” she waved vaguely “— bitchy, and whatever.”

“I don’t.” He shook his head and her stomach plummeted. But as she took a breath to respond he shifted closer, gently cupping the back of her neck so he could tap his forehead against hers. “I love it, Gwen. I love everything about you.”

A laugh burbled out of her before she could stop it, and she pulled away to hide her face. “Oh my god. You bastard. You’re so cheesy.”

His fingers closed around her wrists, tugging her palms away from her face. “I love you,” he said, kissing the skin she’d covered with her hands — the tip of her nose, each cheek, her top and bottom lip, her eyebrows.

“I love you, too.” She could already tell that if he was going to keep saying that to her she’d spontaneously combust, because this was all too cute and romantic and lovely and she still didn’t fully understand how this was happening, why he didn’t hate her.

But she’d promised she wouldn’t question his decision, whatever it was. She owed him that much.

His smile faded slightly, a faint line appearing between his eyebrows. “What’re you thinking?”

“Nothing,” she lied automatically, and when that only made him sigh she added, “I said I was going to trust you,” hating the note of defensiveness in her voice, because of the two of them she didn’t have much grounds for righteous indignation.

“Then trust me with how you feel.” It should’ve sounded too much like a cliche, something she’d tease him for, but he was right and they both knew it.

She’d put him through hell by not telling him the truth, and they both knew that, too.

Gwen closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to relax. Things were — they seemed okay, didn’t they? Almost normal, but better, because all her ugliness was out there for him to see and he knew about it and he didn’t seem to mind. And wasn’t that something she’d never thought she’d ever actually find? “I don’t get it,” she admitted, her voice sounding small and stupid. “I keep feeling like . . . like I tricked you somehow. Like I didn’t explain well enough why you shouldn’t want me, because if you really got it you wouldn’t be here. Not because I think you’re stupid,” she added quickly, desperately, “because I don’t, really! But — but even smart people can be . . . I don’t know, manipulated?”

The confusion in her voice made her pause, sit back. Manipulated? That couldn’t be right, could it? She wasn’t trying to manipulate anyone, and she was pretty sure you couldn’t manipulate someone by accident.

Or maybe you could; she hadn’t always paid a ton of attention to her psych classes in college.

“I’m sorry,” she managed after a few deeply uncomfortable moments of silence. “I’m trying, I promise, but I understand if . . . you know. Whatever.” (She still hated saying it, especially now that it seemed like it might not happen. Breaking up with David was hard enough without having to say it.)

He put his arm around her shoulders, tugging her into his side and kissing her temple. “Thank you for telling me, Gwen.”

“You’re not mad?”

She felt him shake his head as she rested hers on his shoulder, scooting down to make up for their (lack of) height difference. “I wasn’t really mad when I came back this morning,” he said, “even before I saw everything you’d made. I had some time to cool down, and I . . . started thinking, I guess.”

Gwen wanted to look up at him, but she wanted to soak in his warmth more so she nuzzled into the curve of his neck, inhaling the smells of floral detergent and piney-woodsy cologne left over from the day before. “About what?” she asked, like there could possibly be more than one answer. Like maybe he’d been pondering the sociopolitics of Malaysia or something.

He let out a little huff of laughter, and she knew without looking that he’d glanced up at the ceiling in a slow blink (that he insisted was less rude than rolling his eyes outright, even though it was just as obvious). “You. Everything that’s happened this summer — and before it.” His shoulder shifted slightly under her cheek, a shrug aborted halfway through so she’d be comfortable. “Things started making more sense after everything we talked about tonight. Like the day we . . . well, when you told me about that gentleman you . . . almost took home.”

“He wasn’t a gentleman, he was a douchebag,” she interrupted, immediately feeling like an asshole. But David chuckled and squeezed her closer, like he enjoyed her company even when she was being annoying (which he did; somehow he actually did) and she let herself relax against his side, believe that maybe things were going to be okay after all.

“I’ve thought about the stuff you said a lot since that day. Mostly the parts that made me feel the worst.”

She flinched. “I’m so sorry —” she began, but he cut her off with a kiss to her forehead.

“I have trouble with . . . rejection,” he continued, sounding embarrassed. Like that minor character flaw even came close to the millions of ways she was fucked up. “I — I guess you could call it ‘abandonment issues’? But at first, and for a while, all I could hear were the ways you didn’t . . . seem to want me around anymore.”

“But I did —”

“I know.” Another soft kiss, and she wasn’t sure if it was to reassure her or himself. “I know that now. And I think, knowing that . . . it made what you said sound different.

“You were drunk — I know, you downplayed it, and it wouldn’t have excused . . . but your judgment was still impaired. And you didn’t kiss him. Thinking back, it didn’t even sound like you really wanted to. Did you?” She shook her head, not willing to look up at him because no matter how gently he tried to frame this she still felt like it was her fault. “And I just couldn’t stop thinking, how if this had happened a few years ago you would’ve told that story so much differently. If we were still just friends, maybe. You would’ve stormed into the cabin raging about how some jerk had ‘put his mitts all over you’ —”

Gwen couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing, pushing away from him and resting her head in her hands. “That can’t be how you think I talk!”

“It was an edited version,” he admitted, flushing. His smile was wide enough to illuminate the room, catching and refracting the dreary dawn light. “Please come back?”

She snuggled into his outstretched arms, her heart panging at the plaintive note in his voice. She wrapped herself around him, legs entangled with his and arms squeezing his waist; she’d missed him just as much. “Your impression of me is really bad,” she said with an uncontrollable giggle that made her feel like she was fourteen.

“I’ll work on it.” For a moment he just held her, soaking in the relief of being together and being okay. (At least, that's what she was doing.) “Why did it bother you so much?” he asked after a minute or so. “It doesn’t . . . well, it just doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong.”

“I guess — yeah, maybe not, technically anyway. But you’d just visited and saw how terrible my life is, and I was having an even harder time being a less-shitty version of myself . . .” He made a soft noise, almost pained, and pulled her closer. “So when this asshole showed up and was, like, exactly the type of guy I usually go for, it felt like . . . I don’t know. Like the universe was telling me we didn’t belong together. That sounds stupid. Never mind.” She pressed her face against his chest with an embarrassed groan. “Pretend I said something that doesn’t make me sound like I write horoscopes for a living.”

“I like horoscopes!” he replied, because of course he did. After a moment he added, “Thank you for telling me. It . . . helps confirm some things I was thinking earlier, when I left. Because what you said, and what you’ve been saying for a long time . . . I’ve been hearing it the way that’d hurt me the most, but I think you meant it to make me hate you.” He paused for a second, then added, “Do you think I’m right?”

Gwen shrugged, feeling more than a little like one of his campers receiving an aggressively pacifist talking-to. “Yeah. I don’t . . . like myself all that much.”

“I’ve noticed.” And David pressed another kiss to the top of her head, like he was rewarding her for being honest. Or like he just couldn’t help himself. “You haven’t treated me very well lately, Gwen. And I was — am very unhappy about that. But I don’t think it holds a candle to how you treat yourself.”

She wriggled away enough to sit up and look at him, frowning. “So you’re, what? Willing to come back to a shitty relationship because you feel sorrier for me than for you?” she demanded, even though it would’ve been smarter to just not say anything and enjoy his pity while she still had it.

But again, she said she’d be honest. And the true Gwen was kind of a bitch.

His smile turned sad, and he carefully tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear. “See, that’s what I mean. You never give yourself the benefit of the doubt.” When she frowned, not understanding, he took her hand and began playing with it, wiggling her fingers and twining them with his. “I understand better, now. How you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. And I’m not going to let you treat me like I’m a kid, or — or stupid, or whatever. I know you don’t really think that,” he added as she opened her mouth to argue. “There’s a whole cabin’s worth of proof in the living room that you don’t really think that. That’s why I wanna try again. Miscommunications, misunderstandings . . . those are fixable. And now that I know what’s been going through your head, I don’t think you’ve done anything I can’t forgive.”

Her eyes filled with tears — again, and she was going to die of dehydration if she didn’t get ahold of herself — but this time she couldn’t resent them too much, not when it felt like she was brimming over with hope that was eager to burst free. “What’re you saying, David?”

He shifted back, turning so he was sitting cross-legged facing her, and took both her hands in his. “I keep . . . trying to find a way to say it,” he admitted, looking down at their twined fingers and flushing pink, “because ‘do you want to be my girlfriend again?’ is maybe too middle-school, but ‘dating’ sounds too casual, and —”

Gwen pulled out of his grasp and closed the distance between them, straddling his lap and taking his chin in one hand. His face lifted toward her before his eyes did, darting from her chest to over her shoulder before finally meeting her gaze. She wound her free arm around his shoulders, sliding her fingers into the short, soft hair at the nape of his neck. With the hand cupping his jaw she gently swiped her thumb across his lower lip, slightly chapped but still warm and softer than it looked, each breath skating across her skin feather-light and making her skin prickle. “Yeah,” she said, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead to his, holding back a laugh — or maybe a sob, she wasn’t quite sure; the emotions roiling inside her were too much to separate between happy and sad. “Whatever you’re asking, yes, I want it.”

She felt his smile spread under her thumb before he brushed her hand away, tilting his head so he could kiss her. “Good,” he murmured with a breathless chuckle, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. “I mean, I was pretty sure you’d say that, but still — that’s a relief.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “You idiot.” Her blood turned to ice, and she pulled away from him, stricken. For fuck’s sake, couldn’t she be anything but herself for five minutes? “I didn’t mean — !”

David smiled, far more fondly than she deserved. “I know, Gwen.”

Groaning, she buried her face in his shoulder. “I’m trying, really I am.”

“Don’t.” He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back until she was upright, looking down at him again. “Please don’t try so hard to be what you think I want. Just be you.”

“Right.” She forced her shoulders to relax, tilting her head back and rolling her neck until it cracked. “I’m . . . gonna have a hard time with that. ‘Just me’ is kind of the worst.”

“I know you think that,” he said, pressing his half-open mouth to the hollow of her collarbone and making her shiver. “And I’ll keep reminding you until you don’t think it anymore.”

She managed a weak chuckle, leaning into his lips as he moved up her neck. “Good luck with that.”

His answering laugh rolled over her skin, warm and teasing. “Haven’t you heard, Gwen? I like projects.”

Jesus. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she tugged him upright, taking a moment to appreciate his gasp that wasn’t just surprise. “I love you,” she said, loosening her grip and kissing his forehead, petting away the furrows her fingers left in his fluffy red hair.

His expression softened. “I love —” he began, and Gwen tightened her hold on his hair and pulled back, just so she could watch his eyes flutter shut and his breath catch, “— y-you too.”

Dragging her palm down the side of his neck, she settled her thumb on his throat, feeling his pulse flutter rapidly, and bent to kiss him again. She hadn’t necessarily meant to turn it into anything, just wanted to feel his lips against hers, but her fingers tightened involuntarily in his hair and he moaned, and it was a lit match dropped down her throat to a stomach full of gasoline, a whoosh of heat blazing to life in the pit of her belly. “David,” she breathed, not so much because she had anything to say but because she needed to say it, to roll the sound of his name around in her mouth, let it melt like chocolate on her tongue and infuse her whole body with sweetness.

“Gwen,” he said, and she thought he was doing the same thing, saying her name just because he could, but then his hands were on her shoulders and he was pushing her away, gentle but firm. “Gwen, wait, we should — talk about this —”

“Oh, shit, yeah. Okay. Sorry.” She sat back, her face warming. But as she settled her weight more firmly in his lap he jolted; and if she’d thought she was embarrassed it was nothing to the way his already-flushed cheeks flamed pink, spreading in blotches up to his hairline and the tips of his ears, down to disappear underneath his bandana. He stammered out an apology, avoiding her eyes even as his cock twitched, like bashfulness could disguise how hard he was against her. She quickly rose back up — the last thing she wanted was to make him feel ashamed, or pressured; everything between them was as tremulous and new as the first time — but realized almost instantly when David squeaked that this just shoved her chest in his face.

She hovered there for an awkward second, the two of them staring at each other in mortified horror. Then his whole expression wavered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before quickly flattening into a thin line, and the break in his composure took hers out too. She snorted, and they both burst out laughing. “I’ll just sit over here,” she said through giggles, rolling off his lap and settling on the other side of the bed with her feet curled under her so they were no longer touching. He made a small sad sound like a squeeze toy deflating, and Gwen rolled her eyes and stretched out one leg until her foot brushed his knee. “Here, hold my foot if you’re that lonely. It’s practically holding hands.”

His eyes widened, hands closing around her ankle and setting it on his thigh with something like reverence. “Thank you,” he murmured, gently tracing the outline of her foot with his fingertips. “That was very sweet, you know.”

God, she was blushing, wasn’t she? She had to be. “Yeah,” she agreed, trying to ignore the ticklish feeling as he kept playing with her foot like it was a toy doll. “Felt weird, too. I kinda wanted to insult you or something, just to balance it out.”

He smiled, wiggling her big toe like he was playing that little piggies game she used to do with her nieces when they were babies. “That’s my Gwen.” And he sounded pleased, almost proud, like she’d done something wonderful.

But that was David; even though sometimes he was completely oblivious, sometimes he noticed and appreciated the tiniest, most inconsequential things. That’s my David, she thought, her heart swelling like it was going to burst. “You wanted to talk about something?” she reminded him, waggling her toes to get his attention.

“Oh! Right.” He gently took her foot and set it on the bed next to him, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to his chest. “Sorry, I was getting distracted, and that was the whole point of you moving over there.” (He said it with a pout, like she’d gone to Spain instead of just out of arms’ reach.)

“I thought the whole point of me moving over here was so you could cool down, tiger,” she teased. But when he didn’t respond except to flush darker, his gaze firmly on a fraying edge of the pillowcase in his arms, something weird and hilarious clicked in her head. “Oh my god, are you into feet?”

“No!” He lifted his head to give her a tragically betrayed expression. “Not a weird amount!”

She grinned, poking his thigh with her outstretched foot. “What’s a weird amount?” she asked.

He shrugged, not quite able to maintain the kicked-puppy look when a smile kept trying to break through. “I don’t know. Watching people in heels step on fruit. I don’t like that sort of thing, I’ll have you know,” he added defensively, and for a second Gwen was sure he’d stick his tongue out at her.

“Sure, but you’re into them enough to know those videos exist.”

“I think I’d like to go back to you being nice to me,” he muttered, and she felt a stab of panic before he gently patted her ankle and met her gaze with a slight smile. Like he knew what she was thinking.

So she shoved past her nervousness and said, “But I thought you wanted me to be myself. And as myself, I can’t believe you never told me you were a foot guy!”

“I’m a you guy. And . . . you know. All of you. You’re perfect.”

“Yeah, but the feet are a thing, huh? At least a little bit.” When he didn’t answer she laughed, shaking her head. “So do you, like, want a footjob or something?”

“I really don’t.”

“How have we been dating this long and I didn’t know about this? What other freaky sex things are you hiding?”

“Nothing!” he said, hugging the pillow tighter. After a moment he looked away and added, “I didn’t want you to think I was weird.”

“David.” She leaned forward, waiting for him to look at her and see in her expression just how ridiculous that was. “You can’t get weirder than I am. You know that.” When the color in his face receded just a little bit, and his eyes flicked back toward her hopefully, she sighed and attempted to dredge up one of the strangest kinks in her vast library. “I’d totally fuck Drogon.”

He frowned thoughtfully. “From Game of Thrones? So would I- Iiiiiii mean, s-so would most people.”

“No, not Khal Drogo, Drogon. The dragon. Not like a humanized version, either — just full lizard.”

“Oh.” He smiled a little, almost a smirk, and Gwen felt distinctly, lovingly judged. “That does make me feel better. Thank you.”

“No problem. And tomorrow I’m gonna go into town and get a pedicure, just for you.” She wiggled her toes at him, grinning. “I’m thinking something slutty, like hot pink.”

“Gwen!” He shoved her foot away, laughing. “I was trying to have a serious conversation before you started talking about — about slutty toes and dragons!”

She cracked up too, falling over onto her side and nearly toppling off the bed. “Slutty toes,” she repeated breathlessly, and it took a few minutes to recover; every time they tried to make eye contact they burst out laughing again.

“Okay, okay.” Gwen finally sat back up, trying in vain to smooth her hair out of its mass of tangled bedhead. “I’m sorry, you were trying to say something serious. What’s up?”

“Right.” He took a deep breath, fingers knotting in her blankets until his knuckles were white. “It’s just . . . it was starting to seem like we were going to — um, you know. Be intimate.”

She resisted the urge to tease him for his word choice. “I was open to it, yeah.”

“M-me too! That’s why . . . well. Okay.” He took a deep breath, dragging his hands down his face, and Gwen noticed for the first time how tired he looked.

“Hey, we don’t have to do anything,” she said, shifting closer so she could put her hand on his shoulder. “You know that, right?”

He nodded, patting her hand before brushing it away so she didn’t feel rejected, and once again she felt a rush of love so intense it almost brought tears to her eyes. He could be so simply, effortlessly kind, without even thinking about it. “I do. At least, I think I do. I- I mean, I know I do, but it’s hard to . . .” He waved his hand around his head like his thoughts were scattering birds.

“The night before we . . . well. Ended things.” He flinched at his own words, and she felt the same pain flicker over the surface of her heart.

It’s okay, she reminded herself, wishing she could sweep him up in her arms and block out all the bad memories she’d put there. It still hurts, but we’re going to be okay.

Like he’d been thinking the same thing, David stretched out his hand to find hers, squeezing her fingers. “I said I didn’t want to,” he continued in a rush, “you know. Be together like that. And you . . . seemed to get mad — at me. And then the next day you broke up with me.” He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a shuddering breath that had tears behind it, and she tightened her grip on his hand. “It’s okay,” he said, opening his eyes and giving her a slightly-watery smile. “I’m okay. But I just need to know . . .”

“God, no,” she jumped in, taking up the thread of his question as it trailed off into nothingness. “David, no, it had nothing to do with — I freaked out, but I was already — I mean, I was gonna fall apart over anything, it didn’t have to be that. You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.” She couldn’t stand it anymore, so she pulled his hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles because she wanted to respect his need for space but she had to touch him or she was going to die.

He swallowed, watching their joined hands for a moment before looking away. “You — that really hurt me, Gwen. I just needed to tell you that.”

All the anger he’d thrown at her in the past several hours, all the pain and frustration, and it was those small, matter-of-fact words that slashed her heart in two. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

She hated apologizing — it always felt weak, or dangerous, or something. Like it was an opening for someone to hate her even more, like she was handing them a weapon to hold over her head for the rest of her life. (It was why she hated receiving them, too; she could be spiteful and vindictive as anyone, but it was uncomfortable watching someone flay themselves in front of her.)

But with David . . . it didn’t feel like she was giving him leverage when she told him she was sorry. She wasn’t scared he’d hold onto it and throw it back in her face someday. She wasn’t resentful of him, and she wasn’t worried about how he’d react.

She wasn’t anything but truly, genuinely sorry.

And he didn’t brush it aside, act like she had no reason to apologize the way she’d half-expected. Either she hadn’t been giving him enough credit, or he’d grown up while she wasn’t paying attention. Maybe a little of both. But whatever the cause, he just stroked her cheek with the backs of his knuckles and nodded, a ghost of his smile returning for a second. “It’s okay,” he said, looking at her like she was — god, like he loved her. “Hearing it helps.”

She wasn’t sure if he needed more than that, but she wasn’t going to let a single doubt linger in his mind. “Seriously, David, you can — I won’t ever be mad at you for saying no, ever. For any reason, or no reason or . . . whatever. It’s okay. It’ll always be okay.”

“I — um, I had a reason.” He spoke fast, his eyes wide like he’d surprised himself. Still, he pressed his lips together into a flat line and met her gaze, clearly nervous but just as clearly not intending to end the conversation until they’d said everything they needed to. He was so brave. “I should’ve mentioned it at the time, but I guess I was scared.”

Gwen snorted, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I can relate to that.”

He rewarded her with a small, soft smile before continuing, “The thing is, everything had just been so gosh-darned strange between us, and it felt like you were avoiding me all the time — except when we were together like that.” He scratched the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “It sounds silly, but I couldn’t help but worry that maybe that was . . . all you were interested in me for.”

Her stomach sank. “And then when you said no, and I freaked . . .”

David nodded, his throat moving as he swallowed again. “Yeah,” he murmured, looking away. “It — it sure felt like you only wanted me for that one thing, all of a sudden, and when you couldn’t get it . . .”

“I dumped you,” she finished, covering her mouth in horror. “Oh, David.”  

“I was a little nervous to tell you to stop.” He pulled his hands from hers so he could fidget, twisting his long fingers together. “Earlier — just now. A minute ago. So we could talk. I — I know it wasn’t fair, but I couldn’t stop thinking you might get mad at me again.”

“I wasn’t mad,” she replied, her hands shaking with how badly she wanted to hug him. (And god, what a change from their normal paradigm, that she was the one who had to hold herself back from a hug.) “I mean, I was, but never at you. I was mad at me, for screwing things up. I — you’re right, I was avoiding you, or avoiding talking to you, I guess. Because I didn’t know how to talk to you, how to act so you wouldn’t find out that I’m . . .” Her throat closed, thick and gummy with tears, and she took a deep breath and swallowed them back. “Rotten,” she finished, which was a stupid, melodramatic word but it felt right; it described the way she still felt despite everything, squishy and overripe and putrid. “It was getting harder to hide, once we were together all the time. And when we were fucking —” She couldn’t tiptoe around the words like David, not when she could just say it and watch him flush red. Even her rotted heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled. “It felt like I didn’t have to try so hard. I couldn’t be amazing, but I could make you feel amazing. And if I could do that . . .” She sniffed, looking away and wiping her face clean. “I thought I was letting you know how much you mean to me,” she admitted, the realization coming right on the heels of the words. “I mean, obviously I wasn’t — add that to the list of things I suck at — but when you didn’t want to have sex, it . . . I took it really hard.”

Her face was turned away, so his hand on her shoulder made her jump. “It felt like I was rejecting the only thing you had to offer,” he guessed, his voice soft and sad but no longer on the verge of tears. “Gwen . . .”

“It’s fine,” she said, shaking her head like she could rattle her self-pity out of her head. “That was just me being stupid, I know that. More importantly — seriously.” She looked back at him, at his beautiful open face, at the way he was watching her like she could possibly have something to say that mattered. “It’s never been about sex with you, David,” she said. Felt the encroaching tears yet again and decided to ignore them. If they came, they came; they weren’t going to stop her, because it was the most essential thing in the world that he knew, that he believed her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the sex is really good —” He chuckled, blushing exactly the way she’d hoped he would, and it gave her a little glowing spark of strength, “— but it doesn’t even come close to being what I love most about you. None of that stuff —” She gestured toward her bedroom door, and the mess of crafts cluttering their common room. “— comes close. It’s — everything, a billion other things I don’t know how to explain or describe or show you but I love you, so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone and it scares me, and — I’m rambling. Sorry.” She shrank back, feeling like an idiot again. “I just wanted you to know that. It . . . we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, ever, and I’ll never be mad at you, or disappointed, or anything like that.”

“Thank you, Gwen.” He was quiet for a minute, and she felt the tension ratcheting up in her shoulders with each long, spiraling second. Part of her wanted to snap at him to just say something, finish the damn thought before he gave her a heart attack, but that was her anxiety and regret talking, and she never wanted to take her own issues out on him ever again.

(She probably would, considering what a mess she was. But she sure as hell wasn’t going to do it on purpose.)

“You’re right, though.” David’s voice was a surprise, as was the soft laugh accompanying his words. He was sitting with his head tilted back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling like he could see through it to the fading stars and brightening sky. His gaze dropped to meet hers, and he immediately looked down and away, biting his lip to try and hide a smile. “We are pretty darn great together.”

A massive weight dropped from Gwen’s chest, rolling away like a stone. “Yeah,” she agreed. Then, to test the waters: “I taught you well.”

It worked; he turned back toward her, his shyness replaced with half-serious indignation. “I like to think some of it was natural talent!”

“Ehh,” she teased, holding her hand out flat and seesawing it back and forth in a “so-so” motion. “Pretty sure enthusiasm was doing most of the heavy lifting in the beginning there.”

He crossed his arms over his chest with a disbelieving scoff. “Well, I never!”

She pressed her lips together to keep from giggling. What a dork. “Y’know, I should say we were insanely good. But I dunno, for all I know you’ve totally lost it.” Shaking her head mournfully, she quickly glanced over to make sure he wasn’t actually offended.

His mouth dropped open, his eyes growing wide before narrowing. “I haven’t lost anything!” he snapped, and — oh, the playful irritation in his voice made her stomach twist. Not in the awful sick way she’d been tied up in knots earlier, but with a flush of heat that took her breath away.

Managing a smirk, she laid back on her elbows, a warm glow of satisfaction blooming in her chest as his gaze dropped to her stomach, to the narrow strip of skin where her camisole had ridden up. She waited until he dragged his eyes back up to her, dark and intense like the ocean in a storm, then grinned at him.

“Wanna bet?”

His face lit up — or, not quite. Because his smile was bright and warm as sunshine, but underneath the tenderness was a sharp competitive edge that he almost never turned on her. It was almost intimidating, but the shiver it sent down her spine had nothing to do with fear. “Always,” he replied.

Before she could respond he’d pushed himself to his knees and grabbed her just above her calves; a quick tug forward and Gwen was pulled flat on her back, dragged down the bed until her body was sprawled out beneath him. He let go of her, bracing his hands on either side of her head and bending down to capture her mouth in a kiss.

She curled one hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer, bending her knees so he was caged between her legs and arching her back to bring as much of her skin against his as possible. He was warm, almost uncomfortably so — her furnace, her own personal sun, and she wanted nothing more than to melt into him. When he abandoned her mouth in favor of trailing long, suckling kisses down her neck she pressed her lips together, biting hard on the inside of her cheek to keep from making a sound.

“You could’ve —” A gasp, too sudden for her to swallow it back, and she felt David’s satisfied smirk against the base of her throat as he bit down again. “— given me a concussion, you asshole.”

He hummed in assent, his lips skating up to her ear and his tongue lapping at the sensitive spot just behind it. “I know,” he said mildly, “but I didn’t.”

He gently took her earlobe between his teeth, and she couldn’t help the strangled noise that was somewhere between a moan and a sigh. Grabbing his hair again, she dragged his mouth back for another kiss, enjoying the shudder that rolled down his spine and made him tremble everywhere his body was touching hers. For a few dizzying minutes she held him there, barely allowing either of them to draw breath. His mouth was blood-hot, warmer than even her fevered skin, and she didn’t know exactly where she wanted it because she wanted it everywhere — against hers, his tongue lapping at the roof of her mouth and making her shiver; around one of her nipples, his teeth catching on the pebbled skin; sucking bruises into her inner thighs, closing around her clit, dipping inside her cunt, her asshole, along the sensitive strip of skin between the two. She wanted him to kiss her places that weren’t even close to erotic but she knew would burst into flame if he so much as brushed his lips over them: the bone jutting out from her ankle, the ticklish spot inside her elbow, wherever the fuck he wanted to press the gorgeous wet heat of his mouth she wanted to let him, because from the very first kiss he’d been good, better than he’d had any right to be but time and experience had worked their magic and now his mouth could ruin her; without even trying he could reduce her to twitching, shuddering goo.

“Take this off,” she gasped, not sure if she meant her clothes or his because she was wriggling out from under him and trying to remove both at the same time, her fingers clumsy and shaking with how badly she needed to touch him without any fabric in the way. She struggled to her knees, practically yanking her camisole off and throwing it across the room before hooking her fingers in his belt loops and dragging him close enough for her to undo the buckle. “Come on —”

“So I won?” He laughed breathlessly, untucking his shirt and pulling it over his head in one fluid motion, smugness making him unfairly graceful like he was trying to show off.

“Sure, whatever,” she muttered, because who cared about some bet when he was kneeling half-naked in front of her? They’d had silly, jokey sex but that was not this, not when he was so beautiful she was having trouble looking directly at him, hair mussed and lips damp and swollen and pink blooming in blotches under the light constellations of freckles across his skin. He looked debauched, flushed and obscene even with half his clothes still on, and there wasn’t room in her brain for humor when all she could feel was clawing shaking need. She dropped onto all fours, leaning down to trace the hard outline of his cock with her tongue, and even through his shorts he was burning warm. He sucked in a sharp breath, his pulse spiking under her mouth, and Gwen couldn’t resist closing her lips around the shape of his erection, breathing in the salty-ammonia smell of precome and feeling her mouth water. “David,” she began, but there was no end to that sentence so she lifted her head slightly, bit the delicate ridge of his hipbone where it peeked out from the waist of his shorts, caught him as his hips stuttered forward. She kept him steady, one hand splayed across his lower back, as she rose to her knees without lifting her mouth from his skin: over the barely-there softness of his stomach (no werewolf six-pack here, despite his lean strength), tongue swirling among the faint red hair below his belly button, following the curve of his ribs, just barely brushing one nipple — he made a small, strung-out noise in the back of his throat, almost despairing as she moved on up to his neck — until she found his lips again, dragging him into a bruising, breathless kiss.

When she pulled away David’s smile was gone, drawn out of his mouth and leaving him panting. “Okay,” he murmured, soft and almost reverent, but before she could figure out what specifically was okay he hauled her forward like she weighed nothing, capturing her lips for a second before trailing down her throat, pausing at a sensitive place above her pulse point and biting down hard, sucking the skin between his teeth.

Pain bloomed under his mouth, rippling out into shockwaves of cold-hot pleasure, and when he bit her again she couldn’t hold back a moan. “You’re gonna — leave a mark,” she gasped, gently shoving his head away and running her fingers over the damp skin. It was already tender, and judging by David’s expression, contrite and amused and darkly heated, it was going to be a hell of a hickey. “I can’t hide this!”

“I’m sorry!” he tried, but it wasn’t close to convincing when he couldn’t hide his grin. His eyes drifted down to the mark again and he licked his lips, expression growing dazed for a moment before he snapped back up to look at her face. “I can make you a bandana, if you want. Just until it fades.”

“Fucker.” Gwen laughed, not so much because it was funny but because it was him, and she loved him more than she could possibly stand. Tired of the overheated, confining clothes she was still wearing, she shimmied out of them, tossing her pajama shorts and half-soaked underwear without bothering to see where they landed. “Come here,” she said, pressing her legs together and shivering at the wet slide of her inner thighs and labia, a thousand nerve endings sparking to glistening life. “You can make it up to me.”

She swore she could almost see his mouth water, his gaze dropping between her legs as he took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am,” he said — and they’d never tried that before, but judging by the way his cock twitched and his eyes jumped sheepishly to hers, it was something he’d thought about a lot. Filing the information away for later, she held out her hand and pulled him closer when he took it, resting her forehead against his. It took just the slightest shift in the angle of her head to kiss him again so she did it without thinking, her hand sliding between their bodies to curl loosely around the outline of his erection.

He gasped shakily against her mouth, his hands fluttering up and down her waist like he couldn’t decide where to touch her. One of them dropped to her ass, a light, almost hesitant touch, and she rewarded it with a soft groan; he made a weak noise in the back of his throat and pulled her closer, kneading her ass before slipping lower, between her legs. The heel of his hand brushed teasingly against her clit as he pressed two fingers into her, and she mimicked his pace, gliding her palm down the length of his clothed cock and relishing the way his fingers twitched against her inner walls.

He fingered her like that, slow and steady, for — she didn’t know how long. Lost track of the strokes that sent warmly buzzing tendrils up her spine, lost count of the breaths gasped raggedly between their lips, of the kisses that melted into one another until she wasn’t entirely sure where she was, she was hyper aware of the heartbeat pounding in her clit and every too-gentle drag of his hand but numb to literally everything else that wasn’t right here, wasn’t David —

“Fuck,” she breathed, pressing her forehead against his shoulder with a shuddering sigh. She turned her head and lapped at his throat, sucking his skin into her mouth and biting down hard enough to make his fingers jolt inside her, pressing against her g-spot for one delicious moment. “God, I -- please, David, just make me come, please --”

Another shiver, another twitch of his fingers that took her breath away. “Okay,” he said, his voice strangled and hoarse. He pulled out of her and sat back on his heels. “Lay down, all right?”

Yes, yes, whatever he was thinking was 100% all right with her. She almost kneed him as she scrambled into position, but her embarrassed giggle evaporated as he lowered himself onto his elbows, scooching her up the bed like she weighed nothing and settling between her legs. Alarm cut through her arousal, her mind immediately trying to calculate the last time she’d showered, let alone shaved --

His eyes flicked up to hers, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I know,” he replied before she’d even opened her mouth. “I promise, I really want to.”

Oh, god. She covered her face to muffle a squeak, flopping onto her back and looking up at the ceiling. “I’m that predictable, huh?”

David hummed thoughtfully, the sound vibrating up the inside of her thigh. “Only with some things. Other times you surprise me quite a bit.”

“Yeah?” He kissed the top of her mound, his tongue dipping into the V formed by her lips and just brushing her clit — a teasing touch, his mouth moving away even as she lifted her hips instinctively. “I’m surprising?”

“You are,” he said, the camp-counselor cheer in his voice making what he was doing feel even more obscene. He traced the line of her cunt with his mouth before gently fingering her open. “The first time you did this, for example. That surprised me quite a bit!”

“This?” She knew exactly what he meant — her stomach still dipped and swooped at the memory of kneeling on the floor of his shower, the heady rush of confidence and vulnerability she’d felt looking up at him with his cock at her lips — but she tilted her head back with a sigh and breathed, “Pretty sure I’ve never eaten you out before. Not that I wouldn’t be into that, just saying.”

He gasped and spluttered, pulling back to wipe his mouth and staring at her with wide, shocked eyes, then coughed, tapping his chest with his other hand. “Excuse —?!”

When he lowered his head to cough again and take an unsteady breath, Gwen sat up on her elbows, not sure if she should be amused, worried, or mortified. “Oh my god, please tell me you did not just choke on cunt juice!”

David gave her a disgusted look, shaking his head and clearing his throat. “There had to be another way to word that,” he said, as primly as he could while still struggling to catch his breath. “But — um, you didn’t…w-was a joke, or…?”

“I meant it,” she admitted, “but I get it if you don’t want to, don’t feel pressured either way —”

“No — I want to.” He looked startled by his own words, and immediately dropped his gaze, smoothing his palms down her thighs like he could disguise how his fingers trembled. “Sometime. If — if you do.”

Gwen let the awkward silence linger for another moment, not quite sure how to move forward. “Good. That’s…something to put on the to-do list.”

“Y-yes. Okay.” He did meet her eyes then, brightening. “See, you did it again!”

She frowned. “Did what?”

“Surprised me.” He leaned over her body to tug her into a slow, sweet kiss. When she pulled back to breathe he cupped the back of her neck, holding her close and brushing his nose against hers. “You’re an adventure every day, Gwen,” he murmured.

“Yeah, I’m a real goddamn roller coaster,” she grumbled, shifting her hips upward in a blind search for his touch. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d fucking ride me already.”

David laughed softly against her mouth before turning his attention to her jaw, throat, collarbone — a damp, shivery brush of his tongue against her skin moving down her body. “Well goodness, Gwen, now I’m confused.” She both hated and loved the smug, teasing tone he got whenever her composure cracked. “I could make love to you,” he continued, nipping the skin just below her bellybutton and making her jump, “but I thought you wanted me to do this first.”

He closed his lips around her clit and sucked gently, catching her with an arm behind her back as she arched toward the maddening wet heat of his mouth. Lowering her hips back to the bed with infuriating tenderness, he paused, resting his cheek on her inner thigh and looking up the length of her body. When she met his eyes he smiled, pausing to press a chaste kiss to her leg before returning her gaze.

“What do you want, Gwen?” And he asked it untauntingly. Seriously. Like he wanted nothing more than for her to tell him what to do, and like he’d do it without question.

His sincerity was going to be the death of her, she decided with a groan, burying her hands in her hair and shielding her face from his view with her arms. “Fuck. I don’t know. Everything.”

When it came to David, she always wanted everything.

“That’s a real swell coincidence, then!” He traced the seam where her hip and leg met, then dipped down, dragging his fingertips through the wetness smearing her thighs before swiping them up to circle her clitoris. “Because ‘everything’ is exactly what I’d like to give you.”

She barely had time to absorb the statement before his mouth was on her again, sliding the hood back with his lips before swirling his tongue beneath it and around the exposed clit. It was almost too much, too sensitive, bordering on painful and if he stopped she might actually die; she knotted her fingers in the flimsy sheets to keep from pushing his face harder against her, vaguely aware that she was mumbling nonsensical pleas, an incoherent litany of “oh god yes please fuck don’t stop” —

He didn’t. Without lifting his mouth he braced one hand under her knee and pushed it toward her chest, bending her leg and using two fingers of his other hand to enter her. It took him a second but when he found her g-spot he pressed up hard, stroking with the same rapid pace of his flicking tongue. It was more pressure than she was used to, strangely achy but pleasurably so, and it was impossible not to writhe under his touch as the need to come coiled tighter, dragged her higher, kept her suspended on the brink for a frustrating, dizzying, electrifying moment that stretched like a rubber band…

Then it snapped — a dam breaking, a wave cresting and finally letting gravity take over — and she curled forward with a sob of relief, pleasure rippling through her limbs and turning her bones to liquid, trembling through the aftershocks.

The shift from overwhelmingly perfect to just plain overwhelming was a split second. “Nngh, stop, stop —” She pawed weakly at his head, just barely smacking the edge of his fringe with her fingertips, but he lifted his mouth from her with a look of concern. “You’re fine,” she added quickly, struggling to catch her breath and shivering from the buzz of overstimulation, “s’just too much.”

David nodded, relieved, and sat back, wiping his face with the back of his arm. “Wow,” he murmured, eyes wide and awed. “Wowzers. Gwen, have you ever done that before?”

She sat up, frowning. “Come like a train? Like every time we — whoa.”

The sheets between her legs were wet. Not damp, wet like she’d spilled a glass of water (and cooling rapidly, she realized with a grimace, shifting to avoid the blotchy patch). Presumably the same wetness dripping down David’s chin.

“Oh my god.” She groaned, hiding her face in her hands like if she couldn’t see it, it would disappear. Or feel it slicking her inner thighs. “And uh, not really,” she finally muttered, a belated answer to his question. “Once or twice, but you’ve really gotta work over the g-spot to make it happ --” She glanced up just in time to catch his expression, a flash of recognition mixed with pleased sheepishness. “Which you were.” David quickly looked away, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and flushing pink. “On purpose?”

“I -- I’d read about it, that’s all!” he said, meeting her gaze defensively. “I knew it was, well . . . a thing. That some wom- people can do. And I was -- I’ve seen -- I was curious!” Gwen tried to stifle a laugh and failed, turning it into a choking snort, and he blushed even darker. “I know I should’ve just asked, but I couldn’t figure out how to say . . .”

She waited for him to finish the sentence, but when it became clear he had no intention of doing so, she injected as much demented cheer into her voice as possible and chirped, “‘Golly gee, Gwen, could I try making you squirt sometime?’”

Her imitation of his voice was passable -- she’d spent enough years making fun of him to get good at it -- and though he turned his head away she was positive he rolled his eyes at her. “I don’t know if that counts as bad language or not.”

“Oh no. It’d be so shocking if I said one of the no-no words.”

He chuckled, trying and failing to disguise it as a sigh, and climbed out of bed, tugging the rest of his clothes off. (As he picked up his shirt and wiped his face clean, Gwen quickly bent forward and sniffed the damp spot on the mattress. A little like saline, mostly like nothing. Good to know.)

“So how often do you trawl the internet for sex tips?” she asked, grinning. “Or -- god, tell me you’re not checking out books from the library.”

“Of course not!” He looked horrified at the thought. “And . . . sometimes. More often, after we started dating. I . . .” He paused, looking like he was reconsidering the rest of that sentence, and joined her on the bed to lean back against the headboard. “The time you visited, when I -- used my mouth on you for the first time.” (And what was it about his delicate tiptoeing that made it sound so much more filthy than if he’d said it outright?) “I thought -- or, well, I hoped . . . anyway, I did a little reading. Online, obviously. Just in case.”

So that was how he’d been so goddamn good right off the fucking bat. Always prepared, her boy scout. “Well, I appreciate it,” she said, and sat up, throwing one leg over his lap and draping her arms around his shoulders. “Can I please fuck you now, Mr. Greenwood?”

He sucked in an unsteady breath, his cock twitching up against her; the tip of his head slipped between her outer folds, making them both gasp. “C-condom,” he breathed, his voice raspy and uneven, and she scrambled off his lap before she could give in to the voice in the back of her head insisting they didn’t need to stop and get anything, he was right there , if she’d angled her hips right he could’ve been inside her already --

Her fingers were shaking as she retrieved the foil packet and brought it over, letting him take it with relief. (There was no way she wouldn’t have ripped it, with the way her whole body was trembling like the room had dropped ten degrees.) She watched him roll the latex down his cock, unable to tear her eyes away from how beautifully flushed it was, precome beading at the tip and slicking the inside of the condom.

God, she needed him inside her. Immediately.

David caught her with a breathless laugh as she vaulted back up onto the bed, curling his fingers around her hips and holding her steady. “Careful,” he murmured, and she rolled her eyes, fumbling blindly between her legs to line him up. “Have I- hhha --” He cut off, squeezing his eyes shut with a sigh as the head of his cock pressed into her, “t- told you how beautiful you are?”

Gwen frowned. It was kind of hard to focus on the question when her body was fluttering and pulsing as it adjusted to the welcome intrusion. “A lot?” she guessed, sinking down the last few inches too fast and bottoming out with an electric shock of pain and pleasure. “Fuck.”

“No. Not like that.” He slid one arm between their bodies, parting her folds to see the way she stretched around him. “I -- think you’re so pretty,” he managed, gently tracing her inner labia with his fingertips. “I like your colors. And how we -- um, contrast.”

No one had ever told her that her cunt was pretty before. It was just the kind of stupid, romantic thing David would do. And he was right; his cock looked so pale against her, where she faded from shocking pink into a dark purplish-brown that lightened as it blended into her normal skin tone. There was something about it that reminded her of a sunset -- which was just the kind of stupid, romantic thing David made her think.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, pressing her forehead against his and raising up a few inches, “and I love you so much.”

“I — love you too.” Suddenly he froze, his eyes widening and his grip tightening around her waist, keeping her from moving.

“David? Everything okay?” God, he wasn’t having some kind of terrible flashback, was he? Maybe they shouldn’t be doing this.

His eyes flicked up to hers, and a wide, sunny smile spread across his face like spilled honey. “This is just like the first time.”

It took her a moment to understand what he was talking about, but then it hit her: this was like the night they’d first had sex, from the position to the location to the dizzying, giddy strangeness of it.

God, he was perfect.

“Sort of.” She pressed a hard, quick kiss to his lips before grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging his head to the side so she could reach his neck; he whimpered and twitched twice, each pulse against her inner walls taking her breath away. “Except I know you way better now.” She punctuated the statement by licking a wide stripe up the side of his throat, then sucked a mark right beside his Adam’s apple, where it’d be safely hidden by his bandana. “All your weak points.”

“I—” He swallowed, tilting his head obediently as she trailed a line of open-mouthed kisses up to his ear, “d-don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She just hummed; that wasn’t worth dignifying with a real response, and the vibrations against his damp skin made him shiver. Instead she toyed with him: tracing the shell of his ear with her tongue, nipping at his earlobe with just a hint of teeth, exploring the delicate area around his ear and neck she knew so well, had staked her claim to a hundred times before.

David’s breathing quickened, roughened, and she had to tighten her grip on his hair to keep him from squirming. Her hips weren’t moving but his were, minute jolts she was positive he couldn’t control. “Gwen,” he gasped, “please, I -- hhit's too much, I can’t --”

“Could you come like this?” she asked, fighting to keep her own voice level. She could feel his pulse pounding in his cock and in his throat, under her lips; her clit throbbed in response, a metronome perfectly attuned to him. “Without me even moving? Or just . . .” She squeezed her internal muscles, clenching around him in a quick staccato pattern, and lapped her tongue against his neck in time.

“Nnno. Or -- yes?” His fingers tightened around her hips, a helpless spasm. “I don’t know. It’d . . . be torture.”

His voice was so low, wrecked, and Gwen’s stomach went into a dizzying, delicious free-fall. “Good,” she said before she could stop herself, think it through and reject it as sounding weird and freaky. David successfully pulled back from her, his eyes wide and blown out with arousal, and he looked so beautiful she couldn’t stop herself from blurting out, “I want to torture you sometime. Nothing you’re not okay with -- and not now, but . . .”

“Yes,” he breathed, and the word was barely out of his mouth before his hand curled around the back of her neck and he was dragging her mouth to his, a kiss made of teeth and desperation with words gasped out against her lips: “yes, god, whatever you want Gwen please I love you --” His other hand slid to cup the curve of her thigh, urge her up onto her knees so he could fuck her properly, pull her back down to set a rhythm that bordered on frantic.

She couldn’t help but laugh, even as she braced her palms against the headboard for better leverage to ride him faster, harder. “Told you,” she teased, biting his lower lip hard enough to drag a breathy whine from him. “Weak.”

That made him moan, drawn-out and broken, and he slipped one hand between their bodies; curling it into a loose fist, he splayed his index and middle fingers just enough for her clit to glide between them, adding an extra jolt of friction every time she moved her hips. Gwen gasped, clutching at his back with one hand as her second orgasm coiled tighter at the base of her spine.

She bit his shoulder because she could, because she had to, because he’d like it and because it was that or scream loud enough to wake the entire camp. “Fuck, god, David --”

He shuddered and buried his face in her hair, his breath hot with a stream of pleasured mumbles beginning and ending in her name --

Gwen didn’t know which of them came first. It didn’t matter, really, because they dragged each other over the edge. His cock was almost painfully hard, unyielding as iron as her muscles tightened and fluttered around it, and the sudden snap upward of his hips as he came nearly knocked her breathless.

She was going to be sore tomorrow. Or . . . later today. She turned her head and mouthed at David’s neck, relishing the sweet-salt taste of his sweat, and let him hold her up as they caught their breath.

“I love you too,” she whispered belatedly. David huffed a weak laugh into her hair, stroking her back with a touch that was light and ticklish. “But we’re sleeping in your room tonight. I don’t wanna deal with the wet spot.”

Yeah, she was going to be sore, and exhausted, and facing a hell of a cleanup both in her bedroom and outside of it.

David groaned and gently pushed her upright, sliding out from under her and taking her hand, like she was a camper who needed to be ushered back to bed. “Phone,” she bleated, weakly reaching for it as they walked past, and he paused to pick it up for her, and in that second she loved him even more, more than she’d ever thought possible.

Worth it.

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #gwenvid #cc gwen #cc david #this ending is too awkward to put in the main tags but fuck it #i spent weeks working on this okay #maybe even months #i am exhausted and cannot look at this anymore #hope y'all like your smut interspersed with pages upon pages of talking #because that's what you're getting #the only reason this isn't a total disaster is raenbows and don't anyone forget it #forestwriting

[emeraldiis]

Pillow Talk

A/N: i will never apologize for being horny on main

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: After an entire day of staring at you in that bikini, Loki is left utterly desperate for release. Good thing he sleeps with a lot of pillows.

Tags: masturbation, phone sex, pillow humping, needy!Loki, pining

Loki shifted on the bed, mashing his face roughly into the satin pillow case. It was nearly dawn, and he hadn’t slept. Even the tiniest hint of sleep had evaded him, and he’d tossed and turned enough to make his muscles ache in protest. With a frustrated growl, he rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. This was never going to work.

He had no one to blame but himself for his insomnia. Really, it was pathetic, the way his mind had latched onto one silly little human and made her the object of his obsession. You with your silky hair and soft eyes, keeping him up until the morning hours. Your melodic voice rang in his eardrums, and every time he closed his eyes, he’d see that perfect skin of yours and wish it was pressed up against--

With a gasp, Loki swiftly brought his hands down to grasp the sheets in agony. He wished he could blame it on the fact that he hadn’t bed anyone in at least a decade, but he knew himself. Celibacy had never been an issue for him in the past; he wasn’t a teenage boy, he could control his needs. But you had him feeling like one all over again. The way he gawked at you like it was his first time seeing a pair of breasts nearly spill out of a way-too-tight tank top, it was downright shameful. You were just so innocent, so pure, and he longed to see that smile collapse into a pout as you whimpered against his lips.

Despite his best efforts, Loki could feel his cock throb in renewed need. It had been begging for release nearly all night, and Loki had successfully ignored it so far. He held steady in his determination in not giving in, but his resolve was slipping. Today has been especially tortuous. Tony and his goddamn insistence that Loki participate in team bonding. A day at the beach, one which Loki spent lounging in the hot sand shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. You had splashed around in the waves with Natasha and bounced around in a bikini that seemed specifically designed to torture Loki. The bottoms had shifted themselves to ride up quite a few times, and Loki had taken pleasure in watching you reach back with slippery fingers to pull them out of your ass.

Loki’s cock throbbed again, almost violently this time. He moaned softly into the open air. The sound was pained, and Loki felt his hand begin to drift towards the string of his pajama bottoms. They were silk, and because Loki had chosen to forgo underwear, the soft material felt like heaven against his swollen erection. Before his fingers could slip inside to where he needed them most, Loki ripped them away in defiance and turned onto his side, tangling the blanket between his legs as he rolled. The pressure of the thick comforter into his crotch made Loki suck in a surprised breath. His hips twitched upward of their own accord and Loki’s eyes fluttered in pleasure.

Loki could feel his will dissolving with every jolt of pleasure that swam up his spin. His mind spun with images of you: you curled up against him, reaching back with your dainty hand to pull him closer to you, encouraging him to grind against your backside. As if he was in a daze, Loki grabbed one of the many pillows adorning his bed and shoved it between his legs. The firmness of the pillow was so much more satisfying than the blanket, and Loki groaned.

It was over, he had accepted defeat. Loki was about to hump his pillow like an animal and it was all your fault. He thought of that wet bikini sticking to your skin, your breasts bouncing as you jogged back up the beach to him and breathed out a “what’s up” like he wasn’t about to cum in his swim trunks just from watching you. As the memories danced through his head, Loki’s hips began to roll in more deliberate motions. With every thrust, his cock pressed up against the soft material of his pants. Loki could feel the pre-cum wetting the silk, but it only served to amplify his pleasure as the damp fabric clung to his skin.

The buzzing of his phone startled Loki out of his fantasies, and he nearly wanted to throw the thing against the wall. Tony would get him a new one, as he always did no matter how many times that Loki had insisted they were unnecessary devices. As much as he wanted to let it ring, Loki had learned that calls at this hour usually meant an unexpected mission, and he’d be back on house arrest if he didn’t answer. Loki reluctantly leaned over to his bedside table to grab the vibrating object, keeping the pillow between his legs. His heart came to a near stop as he saw your name illuminated on the screen.

A few moments passed as Loki stared dry-mouthed at the caller ID, wondering when he had fallen asleep. Because the only explanation for you calling him in the middle of the night was that he was dreaming. Sure, you had texted him the occasional internet video that you thought he’d enjoy, but had never called him. And certainly not at five in the morning. With a hard swallow, Loki hit the “accept call” button and waited.

“Hey, Loki?” Came your tired-sounding voice. It wasn’t as gorgeous when muffled by the phone static, but it gave Loki shivers nonetheless.

“What is this about?” Loki tried to sound as irritated as possible, figuring that would be the proper reaction to receiving a call this early. The truth was that he was elated to hear your voice, and was disgusted by himself. A mortal, making him this weak in the knees, it was absolutely pathetic.

You were silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep. I-I’m not really sure why I called you, I’m sorry for waking you up. I’ll just--”

“Wait!” Loki burst out before you could end the call. His loud voice echoed back at him in the silent room and he cringed, hoping that no one had heard him. Loki bit his lip anxiously, uncertain of what to say to keep you on the line. “Um, I was awake. I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Oh, I guess that’s good. Well, not really good that you can’t sleep, I mean good that I didn’t wake you.”

Loki chuckled at your awkward ramblings. Norns, you were so cute. “Don’t worry, pet, I know what you meant.” As the words left his lips, Loki’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just called you. Pet. It had been a slip of the tongue, but it brought forth a whole new round of fantasies. He couldn’t help but imagine about what it would be like to own you, to grab you by your pretty face and push his cock between your lips over and over. Absent-mindedly, Loki began to move his hips against the pillow again. He had to bite down on his tongue to keep from gasping. As quietly as he could manage, he put the call on speaker and set the phone down beside him so he could lie back on his side and resume his earlier activities. Loki knew it was so, so wrong to do this while you were none-the-wiser, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so worked up for so long and now it was like his body had taken over, hell bent on getting the relief it needed.

“So, why couldn’t you sleep?”

“Oh, just lost in my thoughts, I suppose,” Loki said as his eyes fell shut. His voice was the slightest bit strained, the soft drag of his pants against his cock making it hard to focus.

“Yeah, same here.” You sighed into the phone, and Loki heard a bit of rustling as you presumably got more comfortable. “I have trouble sleeping a lot, actually. I guess I just get lonely.”

A heavy weight of guilt sank into Loki’s chest. Here you were, opening yourself up to him, and he was trying to get off to the sound of your voice. He was truly depraved, that was for sure. But fuck, the tired rasp to your voice and the small sighs you let out were sending him sky high. His mind was running wild with fantasies of you under him, you in his lap, you up against the wall as he fucked you into it. Loki fought to sound normal as he responded to you. “I understand. Most beings are very social creatures, we need company to--ah!” A particularly rough thrust of his hips had caught Loki off guard as the mind-numbing pleasure rocketed through his body.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, pet,” Loki said, panting as he forced his hips to still. “Just stretching.” It was a lame excuse, but Loki was too far gone to come up with anything better. His body quaked as he tried to keep still, like his own muscles were attempting to disobey his brain. Everything in him was screaming out for more. Cum, you need to cum. Once again, Loki was forced to give in as his hips resumed their grinding. The pillow itself was now damp with how much he was leaking, and it felt amazing.

The phone was quiet, and Loki could almost hear how hard you were thinking on the other end. And then: “Loki, are you...masturbating?” Your voice trailed off as you said that word. The sheer embarrassment was evident in your tone, and Loki was almost astounded at how bold you were. Not many humans had the nerve to just up and ask something like that.

Even through the shock of being caught, Loki could not find it in him to be surprised that you had caught on. You had always come across as intelligent to him, it was foolish to think he could fool you with a half-hearted excuse. Still, it was beyond humiliating to have been called out so brazenly. Loki saw no point in denying it; you would not have asked if you weren't sure. “Yes,” he replied, voice cracking as he froze in place for the second time. Despite the embarrassment, Loki’s erection did not not falter. In fact, it seemed that he only got harder. This mortal would be the death of him.

“O-oh!” You seemed surprised, like you hadn’t expected him to come right out with it. “I’m so sorry, I guess I interrupted you, huh? Shit, I’m sorry.” How absurd. Loki was the one shamelessly rubbing himself against a pillow while talking to you, and you were the one apologizing.

Loki found it intriguing that you hadn’t hung up immediately upon learning of his actions. You hadn’t seemed disgusted at all, just apologetic for interrupting his activities. Loki wasn’t sure if your lack of repulsion was what caused it, or if it was simply his need clouding his judgement, but his mouth began to move before he could stop it. “It’s excellent for sleep. I highly recommend it for nights like these.”

There was no sugar coating it; that was a proposition, no matter how poorly disguised it was as simple advice. “Um,” came your faint reply. Loki’s face burned as he pictured the look of horror you were probably wearing at the moment. And then he nearly swallowed his tongue as you spoke again. “Yeah, I tried earlier. Wasn’t really...working.”

A new gush of blood found its way into Loki’s cock at your admission. He couldn’t help but imagine you writhing on your bed, soaked in sweat and your own slick as you tried desperately to get to that crescendo of pleasure. His blush had somehow grown even stronger, and he couldn’t recall the last time he had even blushed at all. This mortal was killing him, you were his executioner and he was begging for you to pull the trigger.

“That’s quite unfortunate,” Loki managed through his reverie. He was still frozen, almost scared to begin his motions again for fear of cumming on the spot. His cock twitched in time with his racing heart, occasionally dripping precum into his pants. Loki was a mess, but he could not bring himself to care in the slightest. All that mattered was the arousal screaming under his skin and your intoxicating voice in his ears.

“Yeah. Sorry, should I go? And let you, y’know, finish?”

Loki racked his brain for an excuse to get you to stay. It was maddening, how quickly you had ruined him. Seduction was one of his many talents, as was manipulation. In the past, he would have had no trouble at all talking someone into his bed and onto his cock, but you were different. Every flirtation died on his lips the moment he was in your presence, and it was all he could do to form complete sentences as you turned his knees to jelly.

After an excruciating period of silence as Loki thought, he finally spoke. “It would be unfair of me to abandon you in favor of pleasuring myself when you cannot do the same.”

This time it was your turn to stay quiet. Loki waited anxiously, half-expecting you to just leave anyway. He had already come to terms with your disinterest in him, you were probably just being polite. But...you had called him. There must have been at least a slight attraction for Loki to have been on your mind after attempting to get yourself off.

“Maybe we could…” There was a tremble to your voice as you trailed off, and Loki held his breath as he waited for you to finish. Whatever your suggestion ended up being, he was ready to enthusiastically agree. Anything that involved you and pleasure was incredibly enticing. “Maybe we don’t have to hang up, then.”

Loki’s eyes went wide. Did you mean…? An involuntary moan fell from his lips as he shivered at the thought. “I would, mm, not be opposed to that idea.” Loki’s body had won over for the final time that night and his hips began to move again. After restraining himself for so long, feeling that delicious friction once again nearly overwhelmed him.

“I don’t really know how to do this,” you said. “I can’t really believe I actually asked you that.”

“Would you like instruction, pet?”

“That might help, yeah.”

Loki began to wonder if he was dead, and this was his version of Valhalla. Whatever the case, he was going to ride this high for as long as he could. Everything else seemed to fade into the distance: the chirping of birds outside as the sun rose, the hum of the traffic down below, all of it meant nothing. It meant nothing because you were on the other side of the phone asking for Loki to tell you how to touch yourself. Loki took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of himself; he needed to let you catch up before he could allow himself to lose control.

“I want you to get undressed, and get comfortable.” That was a simple enough command, Loki figured. If he started slow, maybe he could reign in his pathetic neediness and focus solely on your pleasure.

“Okay, I can do that.” The speaker went quiet as you presumably settled onto your bed and slipped out of your pajamas. “Now what?”

“Touch your breasts,” Loki said. His breathing was heavy, but even as he settled into the role of your instructor. “Rub your fingers across them, tell me how it feels.”

You sighed happily. “It feels really nice. Can you tell me what you’re doing?”

Loki was a bit ashamed to admit that he was currently grinding into a pillow, but figured there was no point in lying. “I’m, uh, I have a pillow between my legs, and I’m rubbing against it.”

A whimper burst from your lips. “Oh, that’s so hot.”

“Is it?” Loki asked hesitantly. He didn’t feel very attractive; slick trousers and sweat coated skin, fighting hard to hold it together.

“Yeah, fuck. Can I touch myself, please?”

Loki wanted to drag it out a bit longer, to tease you, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say no to that pretty voice. Especially when you asked so nicely. “Go ahead, pet. You’re such a good girl.”

There was a faint slick sound, then a drawn out moan. Loki groaned in response, the sound extracting a full body shiver from the god. He had never heard such alluring sounds of pleasure, you were just so far above any other being he had ever met. “That’s it,” he murmured in encouragement.

“Feels so good,” you said, voice growing high pitched. “Shit, I’m not gonna last too long. Ah, fuck. Been needing this all night.”

Loki sucked in a breath and began to thrust with more fervor. His eyes nearly rolled back at the pressure and his thighs squeezed around the pillow. “That’s okay, darling. I, oh--” Loki cut himself off with a strangled moan as his pleasure mounted. “I need to cum, too.”

For a moment, panting and whimpered moans were the only thing coming through the speaker. Loki prayed that you were as close as he was, because the coil tightening in his stomach threatened to snap at any moment. It was all he could do to keep from allowing his release to overtake him before you got yours. “Please, pet. I want to hear you cum,” he ground out as his eyes fell shut.

“So close,” you whined. “Loki, I’m gonna cum.”

He couldn’t help it. Loki’s control disintegrated as he began rutting into the pillow like a wild animal. His hips moved in sharp, quick thrusts, and quiet moans left his lips with every movement. ‘Cum--fuck, mm--cum for me, love.” He was going to cum, he couldn’t stop. He just needed you to finish first.

The phone crackled as you let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Loki listened in a trance, trying to memorize every noise that left your lips as you climaxed. Your sounds spurred him on, and he found himself tipping over the edge, cumming harder than he had in a long time. Pleasure whited out his vision, and Loki could faintly hear himself whining your name in a broken voice. He didn’t get the chance to be embarrassed about the noise; his cock pulsed in dizzying waves of euphoria, spurting out rope after rope of hot cum. It shot into his pants, soaking them all the way through and seeping into the pillow. It wasn’t until the last drop had left his body that he was finally able to stop the groans that had been bubbling up from his throat.

As the pleasure subsided, Loki sagged against the bed and took in the mess he had made. His pants were ruined, no doubt about that. And the pillow? Well, it would most likely need a few good washes. But he felt sated, too relaxed to even care about the cum drying to his thighs.

“Are you still there?”

Fuck, he had almost forgotten that you were still on the phone. “Yes,” he croaked out. “That was…”

“Amazing,” you finished for him. Though you couldn’t see him, Loki nodded in agreement.

The bed suddenly felt very large and very empty after the daze of Loki’s orgasm faded. He found himself wishing that you were here, so he could wrap his arms around that perfect waist and bury his nose in your hair. It was an incredibly foreign feeling; Loki had never been one to cuddle after sex. But then again, everything about you was different. You were special. Loki opened his mouth, ready to invite you to his room, but something stopped him. What if this had been just a spur of the moment thing for you? What if you only saw him as a tool to get yourself off?

“Would it be weird if I came down there?” You asked, startling Loki out of his thoughts. There you went again, calming his anxieties before he even had the chance to feel them.

A relieved grin broke out on his face, and his heart sped up again in excitement. “No, I would very much enjoy that.” And for the first time in a very long time, Loki felt wanted.

#loki x reader #loki imagine #mcu #marvel #smut #needy!loki #my writing #fanfic