#this is MY movie i have been so fucking excited to see!! its my number one favorite thing ive been looking forward to!!!!

[frecklystars]

god im so excited for the Barbie movie today. I might be a bit tense while seeing my triggers on screen but honestly I’ve been doing so so so well handling my ptsd the last few weeks and I'm very proud of myself!!!!!

there’s a few triggers I’ve been actively working on reclaiming and I KNOW I’m going to be okay watching the movie bc I am not letting anybody take this from me. I know I’m gonna wanna see it more than once. I even bought myself a cute pink skirt for it ;w;

#I’m gonna wear pink glitter in my hair too for opening night #woof #like i know im gonna be rly tense but i have been doing SO much better than i was just a month ago #if anything ill just be incredibly tense at first. but i genuinely think ill relax more as the movie progresses #bc ive been using grounding techniques for months and ive been working so goddamn hard to reclaim pink #WHICH IS SUCH HUGE PROGRESS FOR ME to think back to january when i couldnt look at pink at ALL #and i think seeing pink literally every single second for 2 hours straight in the barbie movie #is gonna also help my brain be like 'oh hey everything is fine' help it to become desensitized #bc ive been doing exposure therapy and im doing so much better than i was even just one month ago!!!!!!! #barbie is my girlfriend. and ken is my boyfriend. and i have two hands they can hold #god!!! you know how many barbies im gonna kiss!!!!! SO MANY #this is MY movie i have been so fucking excited to see!! its my number one favorite thing ive been looking forward to!!!! #i have wanted to see this! so! fucking! badly! and fuck anybody who tried to ruin that for me #i dont want ptsd to control my life #i feel like im riding a bull and gripping it by the horns while its trying to kick me off while im yelling Not Today Bitch #thats what trying to reclaim triggers feels like #but i can fucking feel it working i can feel myself getting better with some of these triggers i cant believe it #and i think just a year from now most of these triggers wont be severe anymore #which is my goal. i dont even need them to be cured completely i just want to function normally #cannot tell u how fucking unreal it is to have so many triggers that are like. normal everyday stuff #colors. clothes. phrases. transformers. im taking ALL of that shit back #STARTING WITH PINK ONE OF MY FAVORITE GODDAMN COLORS 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 #THE EMOJI LOOKS RED ON DESKTOP BUT THAT IS OKAY.

[ilwonuu]

hiii love all of your work btw!!

hear me out please!, this might be a long one😭

okay so you and jaehyun (or whatever idol you may want to use) are best friends. and have been since childhood! your a dancer and he’s a idol so your schedules are complicated. your very close with each other’s families. so one day you visit his mom like usual and surprisingly he is there with his group visiting home too, which you didn’t know he was visiting. you guys are excited to see each other and everyone can see your chemistry ( you get introduced to everyone) but you guys say y’all are “best friends” even his family see it. y’all flirt. (a lot) boom spend the night smut and boom😭😭😭.

(ik it’s a lot i’m sorry😭)

thank u for saying u enjoy my work ily<3 NO NO ITS NOT A LOT ITS OERFECT KSJSHA,,, i love this idea and of course i love rhis idea with jaehyun ehehshs!! i hope u enjoy,,, thank youu for requesting <3

multiply

⤑ jeong jaehyun

𖤓 pairing- best friends to lovers, idol!jaehyun x nonidol!femreader, softdom!jae x sub!reader, established friendship

𖤓 warnings- lots of cringe flirting, kissing, fingering(f receiving), dirty talk, slight smut heheheheh(dw lmk if you want another smut part), lmk what else<333

𖤓 a/n- hiiiii im fulfilling my lovely anon’s ask!!! im so happy that u requested something!! i based this fic off of some of the lyrics from this song<3 thank u for reading🙃🙃

you almost cry after finding out about your 4 days off. you’ve been working yourself to the core with dancing. of course it’s something you love but you really need a break. you decide to go your best friends house. you know he isn’t going to be be there but it’s fine because you’re just as close with his family. his mother always being there for you whenever you needed. today you could use the company. you knock on the door a couple times waiting for her to open the door. to your surprise your very handsome best friend opens the door with a big smile.

“get in here.” he pulls you into a big hug. “jae? you didn’t tell me you were free!” you roll your eyes at him, letting go of him to greet his mother. you hug her with a smile. “i came to see you.” you smile getting comfortable a little more. you wave to the other guys in the room. “hi guys! i’m y/n nice to finally meet you all. i’ve heard a lot.” jaehyun smiles as he introduces each of the members to you.

“yea we have heard a lot too!” haechan smirks at you and jaehyun, causing johnny and mark to snicker at him. “you’re so pretty!” jungwoo says after you compliment his outfit. you smile knowing that you two will be great friends. exchanging numbers with the guys as you and jaehyun basically have the same friends. jaehyun pulls your attention back to him when he grabs your hand.

“so you guys are friends?” yuta asks looking as you guys intensely. “yea- best friends.” you smile at jaehyun. they see right through what you guys are telling yourselves. “definitely.” doyoung says as he laughs at how red jaehyun got at the question. “okay! are you guys hungry?” mrs. jeong cuts the silence with a smile.

after dinner, you and jaehyun spent the night watching your favorite childhood movies laughing and fucking flirting. how could you not flirt with the boy? it’s hard having a hot best friend (a lot of people suffer from this!!!) he has you in his arms as he mindlessly rubs your sides. you are melting in his arms. “i missed you.” he says taking your attention from the movie.

“i missed you more jae.” you smile at him. he blushes hard at the gesture. “no like i seriously couldn’t wait to see you. i couldn’t stop thinking of you.” he holds you tighter. “ew you’re being cheesy all of a sudden.” you playfully push him away. “shut up you love it baby.” you choke on your spit. baby?? what the fuck he never calls you baby. obviously because you guys are just friends,,,,definitely! “im just messing with you.” he smiles at you innocently.

“you’re annoying.” he shakes his head. “you don’t really think so, you like me too much.” he kisses your cheek and at first it seems sweet until he moves his kisses down your jaw. “is this okay?” your breath hitches as he holds you in place. “jaehyun- what are you doing?” you look at him nervously. “tell me you don’t want this and i’ll stop right now.” he rubs your side gently. “no- i want this.” you nod at him and he smiles.

“relax baby.” he helps you out of your shorts leaving you in just your panties. your back is against his chest as you rest between his legs. “look at me- good girl.” he smiles at you pulling you to kiss him. “i’ve wanted you like this for so long.” his voice is quiet as it leaves his lips. he’s been trying to ignore his feelings as were you. anyone could see that you guys were more than friends.

“kiss me again.” you sighed against his chest. he chuckles a little kissing your cheek before turning your head to kiss your lips. you moan into the kiss as your legs spread. his hand snakes to your thighs rubbing it gently.

“jaehyun- touch me.” you whisper to him. he nods at you pecking your lips. you grab his hand to move it higher against your thigh. he just smirks at you teasingly. “you’ve been thinking about this for a while huh baby? my hands touching you like this?” he teases as he moves your panties to the side.

“look at how wet you are just from me talking to you.” you nod shamelessly laying your head back on him. you feel one of his fingers sink into your aching cunt. “dirty girl, you are soaking.” he smirks at you as he adds another finger inside of you. “feels so good.” you sigh at the feeling. he scissors his fingers inside of you making you moan out his name. “mm jaehyun-“ you start to squirm as you get closer to your high.

“yea, you gonna cum baby?” he kisses your neck as he curls his fingers. you cum undone on his fingers with a sigh. “fuck you’re perfect.” he pulls you into a kiss. “do best friends finger each other?” jaehyun asks with a laugh causing you to roll your eyes at him. “you ruined the moment.” he smirks at you. “come here baby.” he pulls you into his arms before smothering you in kisses. “i want you to be my girlfriend, not my best friend.”

#jaehyun fic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #nct jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun #nct #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 #nct u

[svechnikovvv]

friend of a friend

pairing: jamie drysdale x fem!reader

warnings: profanity

summary: you finally meet the jamie trevor is always talking about

a/n: first jamie one and i’m so excited

masterlist: here

being friends with trevor had its benefits. such as going to his hockey games and meeting all of his pro hockey friends. specifically a certain jamie drysdale.

jamie and i met when i picked trevor up from practice one day.

***

to say i was lost would be the understatement of the year. i had no fucking clue where i was. all trevor said was to come to the arena and go inside.

i’m walking around, taking different turns down different hallways and yep, im lost.

“this is why i don’t listen to trevor,” i mumble to myself, then bumping into somebody.

“woah, speedy gonzalez,” i hear someone laugh and i look up to see possibly one of the prettiest guys ever. he’s smiling, and oh my god, the freckles on his face i could sit there and count them all day.

“sorry, i should really pay attention sometimes.” he waves me off

“not that i’m complaining, because it’s not everyday you run into a pretty lady, but do you work here?” my face heats up at his compliment and i shake my head.

“quite the opposite. i’m looking for someone.” he leans against the wall opposite of me and crosses his arms.

“and who might that be?”

“i don’t know if you know him, but trevor.”

“zegras?” i nod and he stands up, gesturing me to follow him.

“so how do you know z?” i ask him

“teammate.”

“you poor soul.” he laughs

“how do you know z?” he fires back at me

“grew up together,” he nods his head. we continue to keep the conversation flowing and soon, we’re at the ice. trevor sees the guy and i and he cheers.

“was wondering when you’d get here,” he steps off the ice and pulls me into a hug.

“yeah, well, ‘come to rink and come inside’ is a very vague text message.” he rolls his eyes and then looks at the guy beside me.

“jamie, i see you’ve met y/n.” trevor throws an arm around my shoulders. so this is jamie

“this is the y/n you always talk about?” i look at jamie

“all good things i hope.” i give him a smile

“yep, this is my unbiological sister.” trevor says

“sadly,” i mumble to myself, but he hears it anyways. he gasps and goes to poke my side, but i move out from under his arm and stand behind jamie.

“protect me jamie!” his arms go out in front of him to guard me.

“don’t worry y/n, i’ll be your knight in shining armor.” trevor tries to get me, but jamie stops him.

“jamie, i thought we were friends.” trevor says

“we are, but i must protect the fair maiden. what kind of knight in shining armor would i be if i didn’t?” trevor rolls his eyes and walks back to the bench, grabbing his stuff and walking back over to jamie and i.

“alright drysdale, i’ve gotta go.” they dap each other up and trevor nods his head in the direction to leave.

“it was nice meeting you jamie.” i give him a little smile

“likewise,” he says.

***

i throw on my drysdale jersey that jamie gifted me and i do a double-check to make sure i have everything i need before leaving the house. this would be my first time wearing the jersey, so it’s kind of a surprise for jamie.

***

“honey i’m home!” i get up off the couch and run over to the door to greet jamie.

“there you are. went to your place and you weren’t there,” he pouts.

“z wanted to watch the newest spider-man movie, so he invited me over.” he nods and pulls me into him, giving me a short and sweet kiss.

“come on lovebirds! this movie won’t watch itself!” i see jamie roll his eyes and we walk over to the couch, me sitting in jamie’s lap. i rest my side against his chest and he places a bag in my lap.

“what’s this?”

“just figured i’d get you a little something.” i give him a look and he smiles.

“open it, i want to see what it is.” trevor impatiently says and i open said bag, pulling out a duck’s jersey. i open it and hold it up to see jamie’s last name and number across the back.

“i’ve been replaced.” i hear trevor sigh and jamie and i laugh

“it’s okay z, i still love you.” jamie says and i set the jersey down in my lap.

“thank you my love, it’s amazing.” i whisper to jamie and his face goes red place a kiss on his cheek.

***

when i get to the arena, i make my way to the seat right by the ice. i see some of the other wags and their kids by the ice, the kids standing on the chairs and tapping the glass. i sit down and jamie’s eyes meet mine and he skates over. he stops by the glass and smiles.

“jaim, look.” i turn around and show him that i was wearing his jersey and i spin back around to see him smiling. he blows me a kiss and then skates off.

“you guys are cute,” i hear dani say and my face heats up.

“i can’t imagine being with anyone else,” i say as i watch jamie skate around and laugh at something trevor said.

once the game was over, i head to the tunnel with the other people and jamie is one of the first people to come out. he rushes over to me and pulls me into him.

“you’re eager,” i laugh and he nods.

“with you wearing my jersey, how can’t i be?” he pulls away from the hug and goes to kiss me but i stop him.

“right now? babe, we’re in public.” he pouts, his hands toying with my belt loops.

“BUT, maybe i can make an exception for you.” his face lights up and i place a hand on his cheek and he bends down, capturing my lips in his. we then pull apart and he looks down at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. his hand then rests on my cheek. his eyes take a brief look at my jersey and he smiles.

“i can get used to seeing you with my last name.”

“mm, you’re such a flirt.”

“for you and you only.”

tags: @jackhues @jackhughesily

a/n: first jamie one, how we feeling? but i am officially done with requests (:

#jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale #nhl hockey #nhl #anaheim ducks

[rae-is-typing]

Being Asahi’s Crush Part Four: On the DL

Description: the team finds out. part four of four. Part one is here! Part two is here! Part three is here!

Characters: you, karasuno vbc, nekoma

Warnings: sexual harassment, kuroo’s haircut

Word Count: 1.3k

You wanted to keep the fact that the two of you were talking on the down low

Especially because you know what suga was up to

He was not as slick as he thought he was

But you still appreciated it

It wasn’t hard to keep up the act especially cause bb boy is so easily flustered

Whenever you were brought up in conversation, he blushed profusely

Like redder than pantone 18-1664 red 

That’s very red

Daichi wanted to take him to the hospital again

But can you blame the ace?

He still vividly remembered your lips on his cheek and wondered what they would feel like on his own lips

It made him so so embarrassed and it was adorable

But you are a queen that believes in boundaries and consent so you always ask if hes okay with certain things 

You want to go at his pace cause you have a sneaking suspicion that this is first time almost being in a relationship

Yet suga has not caught on yet

But kiyoko did 

What a goddess i love her so much

No one but coach, takeda, yachi, and her have your phone number

So when she sees asahi in your contact list one day when her phone died and she asked to borrow it she was like 👀 okay i see you girl

But she kept her mouth shut cause thats not her business

And she sees how happy asahi has been after the seijoh practice match and she just wants her boys to be happy 

You explained your happiness as joy from getting that stupid brace off

Suga fussed over you a bit, asking over and over again if oikawa made it worse

It was sweet then kinda annoying but you let him do it cause he has to mom someone 

The first years missed the attention just a bit lmao

Not tsukki he thanked god he was left alone

Salty bb boy let us love you

ANYWAYS

Back to kiyoko

You and her made a bet once you knew that she knew

How long would it take for the team to catch on?

She said a month

You said two weeks

It was much much longer than that lmaooooo

They are fucking clueless

So clueless

Like cher horowitz has nothing on this murder of crows

Fun fact that movie is older than me

You even contemplated walking up to asahi in the middle of practice and kissing him

But you knew that’d make him so uncomfortable so of course you didn’t

So it was a good two and a half months after the seijoh match and it was time for summer training camp

Im not quite sure about the timeline here, so pls just go with it thanks 

So 

Here you are being all gorgeous

stop arguing w me youre fucking beautiful

Trying not to melt like the wicked witch of the west in the heat

You and asahi decided to make it official

And you were so so so happy

But you still wanted to keep it on the down low cause it was just… easier

But you did have a chat before summer training camp about what he wanted you to do when you got hit on

Let's be honest my love its gonna happen

You're amazing and these boys WISH they had a chance w you

But the second you fell on your ass in front of him, you knew

You knew he was the man for you

Now he didn’t get jealous easily

But you were one to banter and laugh along with people you talk to 

And he knows a lot of the people attending the training camp interpret that as flirting, especially because asahi is acquainted with most of them

So he asked that keep it strictly platonic with firm and clear boundaries that won’t disrespect the budding relationship

You were all for it

And similarly, he asked about your boundaries 

And you basically said the same

Platonic, firm, clear boundaries

And honestly, with that anxiety out of the way, you were excited

Then you got off the bus

You and asahi sat together as always and you had fallen asleep holding hands

Again, it was incredible that no one had caught on yet

Not even suga!!!!

But he was busy so you just shrugged

Like it wasn’t a secret

But you weren’t shouting it on the rooftops

If someone asked, you would answer honestly

But the boys are dramatic and it could make them lose focus of their goals and that was the last thing you wanted for them

So you waited

BACK TO THE PROGRAM OMG

Sorry i go on tangents lololol

As i was saying, you got off the bus and you were greeted by nekoma 

Kuroo, more specifically 

He smirked down at you as you stretched. “I definitely haven’t met you before. I wouldn’t forget such a pretty face.”

You kept a straight face and noticed Asahi tense a bit behind you. “We definitely haven’t met. I wouldn’t forget such a tragic haircut.”

The boys snicker behind you

Even some of nekoma laugh

Kuroo guffawed while you walked passed him paying him no mind

Asahi doesn't know if he should apologize or laugh

But this sets the tone for the rest of camp

You always shut down all flirting attempts with grace and cheek

But then some douche from a random school does not take no for an answer 

Hes all 

“Cmon girl, i can show you a real good time…”

“Let me smack that ass like a volleyball.”

Other gross comments that men make towards a clearly uninterested party minding their own fucking business

Thats when you snap

Cause people like douche nozzle over here dont see women and femme presenting folks as people, they see us as prizes

It is an unfortunate reality 

“I have a boyfriend.” Is what you have been saying on repeat

But hes all 

“He ain’t here,” and “He doesn’t have to find out.”

But Asahi is there

And tall

And intimidating on the court

So when Karasuno is up against this fucker’s team, the gloves come off

Every single spike is aimed at him 

Karasuno wins

But this does not stop the clown

He has a audacity to ask for a kiss as consolation 

He leans in

Now the team is prepared to beat the shit out of this fucker 

Noya and Tanaka specifically

But Daichi is warming up too

But everyone is shocked at what happens next

before you break his nose, Asahi grabs this man by the back of his jersey and  d r a g s  him to his coach and says 

“Your player has been sexually harassing our manager. Fix him.” 

He tosses him down and returns to you

You smile and nod proudly as he hugs you and ask if you're okay

“I’m always okay when you’re here.”

Awww youre so cute it makes me sick

Anyways he's feeling a bit possessive so you peck each other on the lips

The team is flabbergasted

Never has asahi azumane been so bold 

Suga is a proud mom

Daichi is conflicted between shaming the pda and patting his buddy on the back

Hinata is :D cause his senpais are so cute together

Tsuki and Kags are over it 

Kiyoko is like “about time”

Yachi is blushing like mad cause pda 

Yams is too

Noya and tanaka are mourning their chances

Then noya slaps asahi on the back and is like “way to go, you snagged a hottie”

And asahi is now a blushing puddle

a far cry from the badass he was seconds ago

when they find out that you’ve been talking for almost nine weeks and made it official already everyone is like ???

How??? Did we??? Miss this??????????

They want all the juicy details but then coach is like “Get back to work >:(“ 

The rest of camp is people teasing asahi about how whipped he is and you being slightly more publicly affectionate 

Although we do keep boundaries in mind my friends

So all in all

Asahi is whipped

Operation gag needed very little outside influence cause you know what you want

Karasuno is a team of bamfs 

You are very happy you made the first move

Tags:

@millenialfanfictionaddiction

@rebloging-everything

#haikyuu headcanons #asahi azumane x reader #asahi x reader #haikyuu x reader headcanons #haikyuu x foreigner!reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #karasuno x reader #karasuno x foreigner!reader #nekoma x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroos hair is tragic i will not apologize about it #foreigner!reader #karasuno x foreign!manager!reader

[freebooter4ever]

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

#geno #doodles

[readreactrant]

Hello.... If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them...Thanks if you want to answer....

Thanks for the ask and damn I'm always so excited when it comes to these so ofc I don't mind, also warning I'm about to kinda go off. It's a pretty long list so I'll only talk about the ones that left the biggest impression on me.

Warning for mentions of twincest, incest and age gaps.

Starting off with the ship that indoctrinated me into the bl life style *drumroll*

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (aka Drarry); enemies/rivals to lovers, blond x ravenette, they basically set the precedent for every ship I pick up like a stray cat these days.

Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (Bakudeku): Enemies to lovers, plus constantly on each other's mind as a motivation in one way or the other. I love them so much.

Mikage Reo/Nagi Seishiro (NagiReo): one of my current hyperfixations, mainly cuz they're one of the few ships I have that wasn't introduced as rivals from the start as well as being extremely close canonically. They click so well despite their miscommunication (more like no communication but I'll probably get to that another day).

Gojo Saturou/Itadori Yuuji (GoYuu): Most of my blog will you a clue already lol.

Sukuna/Itadori Yuuji (SukuIta): Number one toxic ship rn, but would you believe I prefer their siblings falling in forbidden love trope?

Mikaela Hyakuya/Yuuichiro Hyakuya (MikaYuu): Found family lovers that will give anything for each other? Sign me up.

Tyki Milk/Allen Walker: I walked into the D.gray man fandom late and I will never not regret it, I need more people that at least know who they are (〒﹏〒)

Eren Jeager/Armin Arlet & Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman (Eremin & Ereri): Getting these two out of the way at the same time cuz while I think Eren is undeniably his best self a lot with Armin, I love the thought of Levi being there as his inspiration.

Itoshi Rin/Itoshi Sae: Their beef is adorable but they need to fuck.

Roy Mustang/Edward Elric: I love their banter and they've both been through way too much together.

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent (Superbat): one is batman the other is superman...Need I say more?

Dick Grayson/Tim Drake: I watched Titans and they had me.

Luka/Adrian (Lukachat): I stopped watch Miraculous at like S3 but these two are the only salvageable treasure from that mess to me.

Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty (Sherliam): From Moriarty the Patriot not any other adaptations please. There was that one movie tho. I love how they're constantly teasing and trying to outsmart each other like yeah babes, burn that city down to get his attention.

Kageyama Tobio/Hinata Shoyo (Kagehina): I haven't finished Haikyuu S2, spare me.

Kagami Taiga/Kuroko Tetsuya: what's with sports anime and K names, that aside, I don't know but their separation leaves me in tears everytime.

Yukio Okumura/Rin Okumura: Rin cares so much, Yukio stop being a yandere you closeted brocon! I know you!!!

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji: I have a thing for broody possessive tops and oblivious bottoms and they were my awakening.

Hideyoshi Nagachika/Ken Kaneki (Hidekane): Receiving Tokyo ghoul spoilers of how things ended kept from finishing the show or starting the manga, what even is the point .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

Draken/Mikey/Takemichi & Draken/Mikey: DraMiTake is something I'd consume if I find it cuz I read this one precious fic I will forever cherise but DraMikey has way too much angst potential on its own. Tugs my heart to know Draken keeps Mikey grounded.

Baji Keisuke/Chifuyu Matsuno: Kazutora I will never fucking forgive you.

Hanma shuji/Kisaki Tetta: psychotic boyfriends, we love to see it (✿ ♡‿♡)

Reinhard Van Astrea/Natsuki Subaru: They are literally my banner plus he's one of the few people that doesn't give Subaru a hard time (I only watched S1)

Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive: Butler x master, what else do I need to add. I do absolutely adore the thought of Sebastian being cheeky when putting his young master in his place. I also love soft Sebastian, go figure.

Carnegie/Jonathan Sterling: No one remembers Darkside so I won't even dive into it. These two are the reason I'm trying to finish the series right now, book girlies, read Darkside by Tom Becker and come find me please ಥ‿ಥ

Dante/Vergil: It just makes sense ngl.

If you made it this far...why did you lollll, but honestly thanks for reading, talking about ships is one of my things and be free to ask again if you want me to expand upon or analyze any of these, that or if you just want recs. I'm down for anything.

#fanfiction #anime #fanfic #fangirl #fangirl problems #romantic #ao3 struggles #writeblr #fandom #goyuu #bakudeku #ereri #nagireo

[mildredpierce8]

BEAR WITH ME AND MY RANT ABT THE NEW FITO PAEZ BIOPIC TV SHOW ON NETFLIX

OK......

So, basically Netflix released a biopic tv show about the life of Argentinian rock star Fito Paez and I'm literally so excited to watch it for a number of reasons, but the second I found out that this was a thing I got the urge to go on tumblr and just explode so here goes.

The show is called "El Amor despues del Amor", named after Paez's sensational hit song linked below:

*please listen its actually so good

Anyways the gringos butchered it and dubbed the show in English to be called Love After Music which makes no fucking sense because the song literally translates to Love after Love not Love after Music and it is just sooo stupid, but anyway what can I do abt that.

This show excites me so much, first of all, because I think Fito Paez 10000000% deserves this kind of recognition, because he really is one of the most iconic latinamerican artists of his generation, and his music challenged the assumption that good pop and rock music could only be made and produced in English.

I guess mostly the reason this show excites me is because it is a show about a latinamerican rock artist, which you just don't get that often and I have been dying to see one. (Also, Argentinian alternative rock is definitely one of my hyper-specific fandoms and new content being produced for it is really exciting).

My mission in life, amongst other things, is to give the South and Central American rock scene the recognition it deserves, because often times people act like it doesn't exist, and new wave/ 80s pop/rock only came out of the US or England. Latinamerican rock serves an extremely important purpose in society, as it was quite literally revolutionary. (I'm bullshitting and tired, so ignore the uneccessary sentences, but my point is valid). Rock in Argentina was used to fight back against A LITERAL MILITARY DICTATORSHIP. And the fact that all the rock music biopics are still England and US centric is really annoying.

I'm not saying I don't enjoy shows or movies about music produced in the US or England, but there are so many amazing stories to tell from the perspective and about the lives of Hispanic musicians. Why are they constantly overlooked?

AND NOT JUST ABOUT MUSIC

Where are the movies about Argentinian Military Dictatorship? (IK they exist guys im just saying we should talk more about the fact that it happened). Actually for anyone interested pls watch the movie "Argentina, 1985", it is great!

Where are the movies about indigenous communities being wiped from existence in virtually every South American country?

Or, as a Colombian, can we get a show about terrorism or the drug trade in Colombia that isn't made from the bullshit NARCOS perspective of white guy policemen saviors, when we all know that all American cops did in Colombia was militarize our police forces and teach them how to abuse the public.

I'm getting off topic

THERE ARE AMAZING MUSIC STORIES COMING OUT OF LATIN AMERICA

Like the entire Mexican punk rock scene it is so cool

Cafe Tacvba, Maldita, Caifanes.

Where's the series abt Colombian metalheads. The metal scene was huge.

Or the goth scene. There was a time where you would walk on the street and you would see crowds of Morticias going to dance The Cure at a club.

Or the fact that Seru Giran recorded their first album in exile in Brazil bcs the government literally had them on a hitlist.

Which speaking of Seru Giran, how is there not a movie abt that yet. Seru Giran is such an iconic fucking band led by none other than Charly Garcia. They are a gift from God to humanity, they are pioneers of progressive rock, I don't know anyone like them. And I'm always saying this but if Seru Giran were British or American they would be just as highly regarded as the Beatles or the Rolling Stones or Pink Floyd because they are just too good.

Here are some Seru Giran songs everyone should listen to:

*this man is everything. synth on top of a keyboard on top of a piano.

Anyways, if you're still reading at this point you are very dedicated and i appreciate that.

And side note, please watch this performance of Charly Garcia, Fito Paez and the one and only Fabi Cantilo bcs it is too good:

*ojos de videotape is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and sometimes idk if its even real.

OKAY SO, TO CONCLUDE THIS EXTREMELY INCOHERENT RAMBLING,

I am extremely happy about the fact that latino stories are being told in media like this because its something that i feel as a fan of rock music and a latina i have been missing from my life. And you may think why do we need movies abt dictatorship or drug deals or terrorism. Doesn't that just perpetuate the stereotype that that's all your country has. NO ON THE CONTRARY. When it's told by big American corporations, it often loses meaning. Shows written by latinos about latinamerican experiences showcase the reason I am so proud to be latina. Because we are a resilient people. Our humanity shines through even in the darkest of times. In the midst of wars and dictatorship, we can come up with shit like this and it is so cool. And I wish there was more recognition for that.

So yeah maybe this isn't a rant abt Fito Paez, even though I love him so much. And I'm more than sure this show is about his life and not about Argentinian military dictatorship.

But I guess mostly I hope this will encourage more latino filmmakers to tell our stories. Tell our stories because they are so cool, and I love watching movies abt rockstars. But I would love it so much more to watch movies about rockstars who look like me.

So I'll get back to this after I watch the show. Chau :)

#fito paez #el amor despues del amor #charly garcia #latino #latina #latinamerican rock #new wave #post punk #political rock #rant #sorry followers #Youtube

[buckybraneslover111]

Not today - Frank

summary: you and Frank have a very toxic relationship. He doesn't treat you the way he used to when you both started dating. You got invited to your friends wedding and of course you have to bring Frank. He starts to drink which gets you very nervous because you don’t know how he is going to react. When he sees you flirting with another man, his possessiveness and jealousy comes out.

warnings: jealous!Frank, toxic relationship, drinking, drunk!Frank, slight abuse (Frank grabs reader, shoves reader into car.) sad!reader, crying, yelling, fighting

a/n: came up with this while watching jersey shore...dont judge me lol it was a good idea in my head please. the character Frank is based off that movie Endings, Beginnings with Sebastian being Frank. 

You were getting ready for your friend Ciara’s wedding that she invited you too. You were excited, you hadn't seen her in a while and seeing her and your friends again would be fun. Or so you thought. You and Frank had been together for about two years now and it was...different. At first, you were all lovey dovey, he would bring you flowers, take you out on dates, it was perfect. Then it went all down hill as the months went on, arguments, yelling, fighting, drinking. You wanted a way out, to leave him but you couldn't; you loved him. You finished getting ready and walked out of your shared bedroom, “Frank! Did you start the car?” you grabbed your favorite earrings, the ones his got you a few months ago, after your threatened to leave him.

“Yes baby, come on before we are late!” he yelled from the bottom of the stairs. You grabbed your purse and walked out of the room and down the stairs putting on your other earring. Frank looked up at you and smiled, “Wow, you look beautiful.” he smiled at you wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you into his body. He wore a black suit and tie. 

“Come on, I dont want to be late.” you pulled away from him and walked out of the car getting into the passenger seat. The car drive there was very quiet, you both not saying anything. He pulled up to the respection area and parked his car in the parking lot. 

He turned to you and grabbed your chin making you face him before you left the car, “Dont make a fool out of me tonight. You will introduce me as your boyfriend to your friends in there. Not like last time where you said I was your fucking roommate. Do you understand? I’m your boyfriend.” You whimpered at his grip on your chin as you nodded. “Words y/n.”

“Yes Frank.” he let go of your chin and got out of the car. You sighed and stepped out shutting the door behind you. Frank walked over to you and you wrapped your arm around his, walking with him inside the place with the other guests. You walked up to the table where it told you where you were sitting and you found your name picking it up and reading the number, “We are at table 6.” You and Frank walked to find the table, once you did, you sat down in a chair next to him. The beginning of the night was going well, you said hi to old friend, introducing them to Frank and dancing with him for a few songs. It was going well, until Frank started to drink and when he drinks, he gets very jealous and possessive over you if anyone he caught talking to you. 

He looked at you, “I’m getting around drink.” 

“Dont you think you had enough already Frank?” you sighed, not wanting to cause a scene, but you were getting upset with him drinking.

“What are you my mom now?” he scoffed and got up from his chair and walked to the bar. You rubbed the side of your face and sighed watching him at the bar, making sure he was okay and didnt cause a fight. You felt a light tap on your shoulder and you turned to see your friend Steve. 

You smiled up at him as he took Frank’s seat on the side of you, “Hey Steve, long time no see.” you leaned over and hugged him as he hugged you back.

“I know, its been a minute.” You and Steve got to chatting when all of a sudden you felt someone grab your arm and pull you out of the chair. 

You looked at Frank as his eyes were blown out and his face red, “Frank, let go of me.” you said softly, pulling at your arm.

“Didnt I tell you to not make a fool of me?” he growled at you.

“Hey buddy why dont you let her go?” Steve said as he stood up.

Frank looked at him and then back at you, “So you're cheating on me with this guy?!” 

“N-No! No Frank I wouldn’t do that. Please dont do this, not today please Frank.” you tried to make a little to no scene at your friends wedding, not wanting to ruin it for her. “Frank, lets just go home.” you stood in front of him, putting your hands on his chest, “Let’s just go home please.” you tried not to cry, he already ruined the night for you, you didnt want him ruining it for everyone else.

Frank bit the back of his fist as he looked at Steve, then pointed at him, “You are so fucking lucky I dont rip your head off.” Frank pulled you out of the place, still having the grip on your arm. You tried to follow him, but his long strides were too fast for you causing your to stumble a bit. Frank shoves you into the car door, letting go of your arm. He paced back and forth in front of you, “I can't believe you made me look like a fucking idiot in there y/n!!” he yelled as he stood in front of you. You turned your head to the side, avoiding his eyes.

“Frank-” you whimpered as he cut you off.

“Dont fucking ‘Frank’ me y/n! You were all over that guy, embarrassing me in front of your friends! Your fucking friends y/n!!” he was getting angrier by the minute. You started to cry, feeling very ashamed and embarrassed. “Oh god! Here we go!” he walked away from you throwing his hands in the air, dramaticly. He turned back to you, “Oh give me a fucking break y/n! Stop with the fucking crying bullshit!” 

“Shut up!!” you yelled back at him through tears, “You are such an asshole Frank! God I wish I never met you! I wish I never fell in love with you!! I hate you!” you cried loudly holding yourself. Frank just stared at you, shocked, sobering himself up.

“W-What did you just say?” he said softly.

“I-I just wanna go home, please Frank...” you said through sobs.

“I-okay, okay baby we can go home.” He helped you into the car, and got in himself. The car drive home was quiet, except for your constant whimpers and soft cries. Frank felt bad, he really did, but it was a constant cycle for you both. He would yell at you, you would cry, he would apologize and get you flowers then you both would just start over. This time he wanted it to be different. I wish I never fell in love with you, I hate you, rang through his ears over and over. He couldn't take the pain of knowing that he really hurt you this time, this time was different. Once you got home, you got out of the car and quickly walked into the house. You took off your heels and walked upstairs to your shared bedroom and threw your shoes in a corner. You heard the front door shut and you got out of your dress tossing it to the side. You changed into your pjs and got into bed, curling up into a ball, softly crying to yourself, trying to forget what just happened tonight. After a few minutes, you felt the bed behind you dip and an arm wrap around your waist. You sniffled and pulled yourself away from him. “Baby...” he sighed.

“Please just leave me alone.” you whispered.

“Baby I wanna talk.” he reached for you again, but you pulled away.

“I dont want to talk to you.”

“Baby-” You got up from the bed grabbing a pillow and one of the blankets. He sat up in bed looking at you, “Baby please.” 

“I’m sleeping on the couch, dont fucking follow me.” you walked downstairs to the living room and laid down on the couch curling up under the blanket closing your eyes sighing. 

...

a/n: should I do a part two?

tags: @airedale17 @madehellline @cjand10 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @evanstanwhore

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian x reader #sebastian x y/n #sebastian stan x fluff #endings beginnings #sebastian x you #sebastian x female reader #frank endings beginnings

[davestriderascend]

the homestuck reread, pt 3

im deep into act 6 rn, and i have a feeling this is a good time for another recap. for anyone new here, i first started reading homestuck in 2014 as an archival and then serial reader, and i am now rereading it again through the unofficial collection for the first time, along w bonus content i didnt engage w the first time. ive already recapped acts 1-5 in their entirety. i also posted a separate recap chain of the formspring.

in this post, i will be recapping up to but not including a6a4. if youre looking for my thoughts on the dancestors in a6i3, thatll be its own post. assuming anyone reading this has already read my previous recaps, and anyone not reading this would enjoy not having their dash dominated by this post, the recap will be under the cut.

before we get started, there were a couple of albums released during act 5 act 2 that i hadnt listened to yet at the time of my recap, so heres those rq:

Act 5 Act 2 Albums

Prospit & Derse: i finished it right after making that post pretty much TuT and what i said in my previous recap is pretty accurate! derse dreamers remains my favorite. i dont really have anything to add, i think i covered it pretty well before.

Vol 1-4: it does not in fact have new stuff. this is just volumes 1-4, which i already recapped in my initial post. i did look tho :')

Vol 8: this is another pretty generic catchall album, as the numbered ones tend to be! however, i remember thinking as i was listening to it that the songs at the beginning were just really beautiful pieces, really stunning to listen to. there are also a lot of serious BANGERS in this album. ive had davesprite and arcade thunder on my playlist for ages, but it also has THE classic, the acapella midnight crew cover. i dont think all of them are hits, but most of them definitely are.

anyway, with that covered, lets get into act 6.

Act 6 Act 1

this is the act that introduces us to the post-scratch earth for the first time, starting with jake and jane as introductory characters, and hinting at roxy and dirk. its extremely short, and almost nothing fucking happens tbh. during this time, hussie is starting to use tumblr, and makes the infamous olive garden saga posts.

The Characters

upon introduction, jane believes fully in the betty crocker empire, and has like zero patience for her friends telling her it sucks. shes stubborn, headstrong, and very excited for her turn on the crocker throne. shes shown to be using exclusively bc products, which have mind altering powers that have been implied to have been subtly influencing her her whole life. she mentions that she used to have an antagonistic relationship with her dad, not unlike the one john describes with his dad when talking to his friends, but says that in the past three years theyve really ironed it out and worked through their misunderstandings. they now have a good relationship, albeit with some of the usual teenage/fatherly tension thats only natural.

jake introduces himself loudly proclaiming his love of adventure, fisticuffs, and movies. he talks a lot about admiring his grandma and her scientific genius, but doesnt feel that he measures up to her at all (he goes on to downplay his own understanding of science a lot, in the next several acts). however, we see very quickly that jake avoids going outside, is scared of the monsters on his island, and fails to beat brobot even when brobot is set on novice mode, so a lot of that stuff probably isnt true. another big thing that were introduced to very quickly is jakes firm and willing belief system. he trusts his friends wholeheartedly and loudly, in perfect opposition to jane, whos skeptical of everything, and he proclaims his belief to the point where it feels almost like hussie is grinding his page of hopeness into your face.

The Tumblr

ill talk about the tumblr as a whole more later, i think, so for rn ill just stick to the olive garden debacle. i actually did read this, way back in the day, and i remember thinking then that it was hilarious. it still is. unlike the formsprings, which i warn you to never touch w a ten foot pole, i HIGHLY recommend giving at least the olive garden saga a read if youre a hardcore fan. 10/10.

Act 6 Intermission 1

theres an emerging theme early in act 6 where the sub acts center around the alpha kid session, and the intermissions center around like.... everything else, mostly. its hussies way of checking in on dreambubble shenanigans, the meteor, and the ship. theyre just sort of updates, rather than full, lengthy expositions. the first intermission is super short and almost 100% just about the start of the meteor and ship trips, with the kids meeting up with the trolls, aradias corpse party that couldve been, and john slamming karkat in the face with a bucket. im sure we all remember it well. also, bec noir and pm are chasing each other around. there is pretty much nothing to say about this intermission.

Act 6 Act 2

here we return to the alpha session, where roxy and dirk are finally introduced. there are some shenanigans happening with the kids dreamselves, but at the end of the act, jane is finally the first kid to enter the medium. acts are still pretty short. during this time, the album song of skaia was published, and hussie announced a contest for the next album, which ill talk about later.

The Characters:

every session has a different version of jack. the trolls had spades slick, who became exiled and created a city where the midnight crew and the felt reside (keeping in mind that doc scratch is also the trolls first guardian). the beta kids had bec noir, who obliterated the trolls and beta kids sessions after gaining the powers of the kids first guardian (bec), and is now running around with pm locked in a perma stalemate after nearly killing wv (who was dropped off w the kids on the meteor and nursed back to health, becoming the mayor we all know and love). in the alpha kids session, jack works for hic, who usurped the black queen of their session long before the session even began (if youll recall, hic replaced the handmaid as le's servant at the end of act 5, and so everything she does in act 6 (including her takeover of earth) is as a servant of le). hes more proactive than ever, breaking the social customs and rules of derse and prospit to attack and (sometimes successfully) kill the alpha kids dreamselves. this is the jack that eventually becomes jack english, but ill talk more about that in another post.

i just thought this was a good time to make sure were all caught up on jacks shenanigans.

anyway, roxy is absolutely wasted through these early sub acts. and roxy, when drunk, is kind of an asshole. i love roxy, i adore her, and i remember her being one of the kindest characters in hs, so i was really shocked to read through these early acts and find just how mean she could be to her friends during this time. while shes generally chipper and bubbly, she can be harsh, frequently saying things that come off... really fucking mean, actually, and shes also pretty pushy, flirting with hal and jake even when it makes dirk and jane uncomfortable respectively. she is also... a little bit whiny, and pretty petty, literally giving jane a virus that will blow up her computer bc shes suddenly decided she doesnt want to play sburb, after blowing her friends off all day despite their longtime plans. its a really rough time period for her.

dirk, like dave in the early hs acts, isnt.... there much. like he really doesnt actually have a huge role? his dialogue is limited, with hal communicating w his friends 99% of the time instead. like dave, hes also the expert and voice of reason among the group, although where dave is more of a passive characters others can turn to when they have questions, dirk makes bold claims about manipulating things behind the scenes and being the secret leader of the session. dirk is already in action, already busy, already awake on derse, and so hes usually too busy for conversation.

instead, hal takes prominence in the first two acts. hal is quippy and quick, and actually seems to get along with dirks friends pretty well, despite their initial frustration at being unable to reach dirk. he has sincere dialogue with roxy, opening up about his feelings with her while also giving her a space to indulge in things dirk doesnt want to do. jane and him seem to get along... perfectly, actually. and while jake and hal butt heads a lot early in, with jake frequently calling him out on his shit or getting frustrated at dirks unavailability, when jake crosses lines and hal levels with him about being hurt, jake actually listens to him and tones it down. they get along way better after that.

The Albums

on the day of a6a2s release, we get our very first album of the act! song of skaia is another solo album, and its... incredibly short, with only three tracks. it has a haunting, interstellar vibe to it, like the vastness and beauty of space, and its pretty good! however, because of how short it is, it really just gets lost in the mass of hs music. i had to go and skim through the songs just so i could remember which ones they were. ; ;

Act 6 Intermission 2

aptly named "penis ouija" on the map, this is the year 1 mark check in on the ship and meteor, wherein jane and john play ghostbusters, and dave and karkat argue about terezi and draw penis ouija. also, spades is robot spades and being nursed back to health by hussie, and ms paint is introduced for the first time. hussie dies by le's hand, and thats when he starts dicking around in the dreambubbles harassing vriska (a reference to a long running joke started on the formspring). this is the act where the dreambubbles start becoming the thing theyll be for the rest of the comic, and while araneas been hinted at before, this is where she really starts interacting with people. its still a pretty short intermission. the colours and mayhem albums are released during this time.

The Characters

haha psyche im gonna talk about aranea later. fuck that.

The Plot

as i mentioned earlier, the intermissions are short updates, or check ins. theyre not super elaborate. still, i feel that this one warrants a little elaboration, just bc its referenced so frequently in fandom.

on the ship, davesprite rarely appears. he actually has such a small role in the whole trip, and hes mostly just referenced in conversation by john and jade. john, as well all recall, doesnt think of davesprite as the "real dave," but jade really does value him a lot, making the argument that both he and dave are similar, but separate people, in the sense that ds isnt just a replaceable copy, but a person she really cares about as his own individual. outside of this vague subject of ds, though, most of the ship checkins are about jade and johns boredom and isolation, and how they struggle to find things to do, even with so many planets at their disposal.

w regards to the meteor, the penis ouija scene is infamous, particularly among dvekat fans. i found the meteor check in interesting largely for 2 reasons: 1) its the first instance we see of karkat acknowledging his blood color openly and without fear, typing in it for convenience, and 2) despite karkats flagrant dismissal of terezis feelings when talking to dave about that godawful fucking chart, dave takes the opposite position, calling him out directly on the fact that he didnt even talk to her before trying to set up this insane fucking thing. the penis ouija is a way to sidetrack karkat from being such a tool. idk, i just thought it was an interesting moment

The Albums

coloUrs and mayhem: universes a & b are the result of a contest hussie hosted wherein she asked for character themed submissions, in an attempt to put together an album with all new artists and draw attention to musical talent within the fandom. it was a pretty cool idea, if naive to just how many fucking submissions theyd end up getting.

universe a is one of my favorite hs albums. its split into three parts, the first with songs themed after the ancestors, the second after the trolls, and the third a few bonus tracks. while there are a small, select handful of songs i cant stand (your universe my beloathed) almost the entire album is just hit after fucking hit. indigo heir and gold pilot are up there on my favorites list, but temporal shenanigans is just so good, its such a perfect fucking aradia song and it goes so hard. most of the tracks fit their respective trolls so well, and ive put this album on in the background a lot over the years.

universe b is formatted similarly, with the first part themed after the beta kids, the second after the alpha, and the third being bonus tracks. i dont like this one as much as universe a. there are way more bonus tracks than themed ones, and i dont have any standout tracks, but overall the songs are still good and it was a good listen.

Act 6 Act 3

now its starting to get real. back to the alpha kids, jane is now exploring her world and what it means to be stuck in a void session (one of my formspring recaps has a screenshot of hussie talking about what that is). brain ghost dirk is introduced as jake reflects on a conversation where dirk explained the history of their guardians and hic's takeover, calliope and caliborn are introduced in full after being teased in previous acts, and the act wraps up with dirks (but really hals) machinations to get everyone in the medium and caliborns victory over calliope. during this time, the albums vol 9, symphony impossible to play, and one year older were released.

The Characters

calliope is sweet, friendly, and beloved by all of the alpha kids, but particularly jane and roxy, who she seems to share the closest bonds with and talks to the most. she restrains herself in conversations in the name of avoiding "spoilers," knowing the future of their session due to roses journal that she maintained towards the end of their adventure (mentioned in a6i2). she believes she will play sburb with caliborn, and gain dominance through convincing him to be a better person, and therefore more like her.

caliborn is a nasty little bastard, hated by all. he likes dirk best, but who can say why. hes weird and perverted and not very bright, and has an obsession with saw-esque "games" with "shitty twists" that are really just him cheating. he wins his competition with calliope in a similar manner, by cheating and killing her dreamself, and then chewing off his own leg, which is later stated to go against how cherubs are supposed to grow up and permanently stunts his growth. ill talk more about that later, im sure.

neither of them have huge roles right now other than foreshadowing.

The Albums

vol 9 is another one of my favorite hs albums. crystalmethequins is one of my favorite hs songs of all time, but other noteable tracks include whistling jackhammer, pumpkin party in sea hitlers water apocalypse (fun fact: cronus makes a spoof of this song later), iRRRRRRRRECONCILA8LE, and of course, moonsetter and noirscape. these are some of the songs i was referencing in my albums 1-4 recaps that build off of early songs that i really love!

symphony impossible to play is a short solo album. its definitely pretty, but its very short and kind of just covers of very classic, constantly remixed homestuck songs, such as homestuck anthem. i didnt come away with much to say about it.

one year older is another solo album by erik scheele, who also did the sburb album i really enjoyed. hes a master of piano and crafts such beautiful stories with his pieces. this album follows johns journey through hs. i honestly loved it, but why the FUCK. is flying car replaced with fly from the mobius album on the unofficial collection. that was such a fucking jumpscare that was one of my least favorite tracks on that album (which i already DIDNT LIKE) and it really fucked up my enjoyment of what is genuinely a great album.

Act 6 Intermission 3

this is the dancestor one. The dancestor one. im going to talk about meenahbound in a different post, but aside from the dancestor thing, this is also the year 2 check up on the meteor and ship. this is where john has his birthday breakdown, and where rose gets drunk and goes on a date with kanaya. this is also when we find out gamzee and terezi have started dating. meanwhile, in the dreambubbles, vriska and tavros have met up post tavrisprite and are working together to amass a ghost army in the name of getting le to blow up a bunch of stuff, so they can discover some treasure that will stop him. tavros wants to propose to her, but i dont think theyre dating. ill probably wait to talk about that in the dancestor post, bc im worried about the word limit. genesis frog is the only album released during this time, and the tumblr is still going strong.

The Plot

johns bday breakdown is infamous. out of fucking nowhere, he flips out about how much he hates one of his most beloved movies, con heir, and ends the whole thing with a tantrum outside, screaming at a watermark of davesprite only he can see with such aggression that it knocks him clean out. reading through the breakdown now, its kind of obvious that its not really about con heir, or davesprite, or anything. its just that hes bored and lonely and feeling particularly frustrated and helpless about it. he lashes out at everything and everyone around him because hes been isolated for two years. its the anniversary of his dads death, and its clear that its just a tipping point for him. davesprites note is honestly like... its in bad taste, but its a pretty harmless, stupid note that seems typical for dave, and i doubt he was thinking about how it was the anniversary of johns dads death, especially given that he wasnt there when it happened, and he has a very different relationship to bro and bros death that also probably colors things. but for john, its kind of the last straw, and he loses it. in fics people tend to make it about davesprite, but it really, really isnt.

roses date with kanaya.... aw, man. its so bad. its clear kanaya doesnt really understand the connotations of rose being drunk, and dave is really, really worried about rose, trying his best to help her as much as he can in the precious few moments before the date starts. but rose and kanaya want to go, and daves not in the business of bossing anybody around ever, so he relents and lets them. rose is as wordy as ever when drunk, and spends a long time rambling her worries about gamzee and terezi. its incredible, she predicts right in that moment exactly how their session winds up doomed and why they should be worried about the relationship, but its clear her drinking prevents her from seeing it clearly or thinking through what to do about it. she then gets distracted, rambling a bunch of suggestive stuff to kanaya, and tops the date off with a spectacularly awkward and terrible drunk kiss, followed immediately by her falling down the stairs. its just... so rough.

The Tumblr

in summary, the tumblr so far has been a combination of what hussie hoped the formspring would be, and the newsposts. mostly, hussie posts updates about the comic, about art other artists contributed (often rbing their blogs or posts), and about the store, with occasional random posts that are vaguely related to homestuck (ie; the dark cage post, or the olive garden saga), and occasional q&a sessions, which consist of a singular post with a mass of answers. unlike with the formspring, most of the qs hussie answers are directly relevant to the comic and expand on lore, characters, or background information to development. the tumblr is... actually worth a read, shockingly. so far, its not terrible. way better than the formsprings, and also updates a lot less and a lot more concisely. this is in keeping with the comic, which is also slowing down on updates around this time (one year passes between the beginning of act 6 and the beginning of a6a4), and is focusing on plot heavy bursts, rather than meaningless bullshit.

The Album

genesis frog is a solo, thematic album, meant to capture the journey of billious slick throughout his life, touching on the prospitians and consorts worship of him, jades work in breeding him, and jacks hand in hurting him. the track art is stunning, and each song was crafted with a lot of thought and effort. the extra art is super cute. i dont think i have an ear for this style of music, and since i had it on in the background, i cant say i picked up on all of the detail that went into the pieces, but im nonetheless impressed, at the very least by the heart involved.

Final Thoughts

how does this feel simultaneously so short and so long so far? its probably the minigames. and the insane amount of albums all posted at one time, right after the other. so little has really happened so far, and yet so many significant, infamous fandom moments have also happened. i think its a side effect of hussie really only focusing on the most relevant things right now, and also a side effect of the fandom probably completely overblowing the meteors importance to the story. i guess its because homestuck slows down so much during the meteor journey, we were all just stuck thinking about it for so goddamn long. myself included! im quickly approaching the part where i started reading homestuck, which is very exciting for me.

on my first read of act 6, i remember instantly loving dirk, probably just bc he was an extension of dave to me (and roxy, for the same reasons). however, in these early acts, jake and hal were definitely my favorites. they have such a fascinating and fun dynamic, and hal is probably the funniest character in these acts to me.

anyway, next up: a post all about meenahbound, and eventually, one day, act four?

update: a6a4-a6i5

#hs reread #homestuck liveblog #recaps #i so dont have time to recap meenahbound rn so ill do that later ig

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Recent-ish TV/movie reboots I’ve watched:

- Arrested Development: Controversially, I thought season 4 was a work of art. Not the same thing as the first three seasons, but something else that was really good. The way everything started out of place and then fit together perfectly like a puzzle, the way you didn’t just get more out of it on a second watch, you were basically watching a whole new show because you had all the context. But then, I am really into things that fit together like a puzzle. In terms of pure comedy… it was good, not quite up to the standards of the first three, but to be fair, those are ridiculously high standards.

Season 5 was good too, and I was happy to have it, though I did rather like the narrative poetry in the idea of the whole show ending on Michael Cera finally punching his dad in the face at the end of season 4.

- Cobra Kai: So much fun. Okay, maybe not technically the best show out there, maybe technically a high school drama. But it’s so much fun. And gets a few things surprisingly true-to-life that I rarely see on screen, like how cycles of abuse work in coach/athlete relationships (God, the number of times I’ve been told to forgive the high school coach who treated my teammates and I like shit because his coach fucked him up first, there are solid bits of drama for TV shows there that so far have been mainly covered by Cobra Kai and The Mighty Ducks). But aside from that, it’s just done well. I love the way they got back nearly every significant actor from the original movies. The way they took the characters to places that felt like they made sense, weren’t exactly where they were before but weren’t wildly different either, it seemed like a logical progression. The balance of old characters with new ones. And the way they have fun with working in stuff from the movies. It’s great.

- Veronica Mars: The movie was okay. The fourth season was, in my mildly controversial opinion, pretty good. It didn’t live up to the standards of the first two seasons, but few things do, including the third season. Season 4 looks pretty good if you don’t see it as coming off the back of seasons 1 and 2, but instead remember that season 3 existed, so the reboot left it on a better note than that. Season 4 felt more true to the original characters than season 3 did, and it had better explanations for stuff. Also a lot of people got mad about the ending but I never liked her with Logan anyway so that was fine.

- Party Down: Fucking awesome. I finally watched this one recently, which is what prompted this post. I first rewatched seasons and 1 and 2, which reminded me of how very, very good this show was in the first place. And season 3 lived up to that, which is more than I could have hoped for. They found a way to keep around the old characters without changing the setting or keeping them stagnant. To let them grow but still be involved in this thing they were doing years ago. That is a tough needle to thread, given the original premise, and they did it so well. It felt like no time had passed, like all the actors and writers were excited to be back, like everyone still had passion for this. They brought in new characters who were funny in their own ways and it all felt natural.

- Toy Story: God, such an unnecessary reboot, just leave the old classics alone.

…Just kidding, obviously. Obviously. The third movie was magic and beautiful, it grew with the original audience without compromising the childlike wonder, the fourth didn’t quite live up to the standards of the third, but still good.

I might be forgetting something, but I think these are all the reboots I’ve seen, and given that, my personal view of rebooting old series is that it’s not nearly as bad as its reputation. However, I’m pretty sure I just got lucky in not seeing the bad ones.

[satsekhem]

Osiris Mysteries: Prep the Corn Mummy Write Up

I had most of the supplies ready to go and lined up for making the corn mummies. I had purchased corn husks last year, still had a large amount of rubber bands, and felt prepared in ways that I don't always going into this holiday. I suspect it was the feeling that I had my collective shit together that caused my issues later.

Before putting the corn mummies together, purification of the work space was required. I don't make the mummies in my spooky room but usually at my coffee table while half listening to some movie I have been sitting on in one of my queues.

The table itself was cleaned with usual cleaning products (I use Simple Green) and with Florida water. The handkerchief was placed directly over thr Florida water before it could completely dissipate to give it that extra oomph.

The scented candles are midnight jasmine, a scent I have often associated with Osiris. The incense stick was frankincense, chosen precisely using an exciting game of inny-minny-miney-moe. The blue jar is my nemset-jar, used to hold purified water to purify spaces specifically for Osiris or the ancestors. The cold water is purified using incense and salt. Each individual corn husk is purified using the incense stick before the true work begins.

And that is when everything went off the rails.

I am extremely anxious when working on crafts of any sort for my gods. I will usually have two or three browser tabs open with clear cut instructions. They need to include pictures as well as step-by-step numbered or lettered instructions related to those pictures. All three tabs I had open were perfect. The corn husks were not.

Evidence of their bad behavior.

Now. People will tell me I had issues with the husks because I don't soak them first (they were more fragile than usual and nearly impossible to round out to form not-square heads). This has never worked for me so I don't do it.

They also refused to cut down how I wanted them. I made 6 dolls in total but continued to have issues with getting them to stand up straight or cutting certain sections down to where I needed them. (Again potentially because I don't soak them but that has always made worse problems for me so not gonna happen.)

Since technically two out of the three planned-for dolls will mostly be in a burial shroud, covered by a mini red vein plant in a shit fuckton of dirt, the standing up part is sort of moot. But who isn't a fucking perfectionist when creating shit for your gods? I was literally in frustrated tears before I said the magic phrase, this is good enough. And meant it when I said it (I may have said it like twice... or five times...)

So what.

Big O's dolly has a square head and his feet are not straight and he leans like real heavily to his left. Potentially Drunk Osiris Corn Mummy was fucking good enough.

My dolly was probably like the least painful one to look at it with its block head. At least I don't have a drunk stumble lean. Just... a block head. But! Ramrod Straight Sat-Representing Corn Mummy was fucking good enough.

And the third dolly's head is pretty embarrassing. I'm planning on finding raffia and creating hair eventually because I cannot see myself being comfortable using it without trying to hide that really fucking sharp corner. And does she stand at all? Nope. There's possibly a metaphor there for Things. But Never Standing Without Aid Corn Dolly for Secret Future Workings was fucking good enough.

The end result wasn't that bad. Presented upon the altar of Osiris, settled politely before Osiris, Aset, and Nebthet, I could admit that things didn't quite go according to plan. But the mummies have been prepped and we are ready for the next.

I've been through and seen a lot

Left at the bottom and the top

We're on borrowed time

But time isn't enough

- Room to Breathe by You Me at Six

#kemetic #osiris mysteries 2022 #om: prep the corn mummies #kemetic crafts

[myrddin-wylt]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

[ambles in 3 hours late with Starbucks and an outdated meme] I got tagged by @cicadatalia and @acemapleeh, thank you~!

What book are you currently reading?

aaaaahahaha, you mean, what books have I been ignoring? 

uh, I’m still reading through 48 Laws of Power, and maybe eventually I’ll finish Matthew Stover’s Star Wars Revenge of the Sith novelization because it’s honestly really, really fucking incredible both in terms of Star Wars content and in its own right.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Robert Eggers’ The Northman is really, really fucking good, holy shit. admittedly it’s also the only movie I saw in theatres this year, as I’ve been trying to limit possible covid exposure.

What do you usually wear?

bro I don’t even know. usually black leggings, and 3/4 of my shirts are some shade of red, burgundy, or pink. a few dresses in the summer. oh I do wear a lot of skirts of all colors though, especially long skirts. I’m also slowly adding more and more vyshyvankas to my wardrobe, but they can be pretty pricey. 

How tall are you?

more like how short am I. 5′3″ or 5′2″, I don’t remember.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Taurus, and May Day, I guess. uh, May 1, 1328 is the ending date for the Wars of Scottish Independence. incidentally, May 1, 1707 is the Act of Union between England and Scotland to form the UK. the more you know.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

middle name, actually. gotcha!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

lmao absolutely not. I’m happier this way though and, strictly speaking there’s still time for me to pursue a phd in history if I want. I just need the money. but tbh, I just really enjoy not having to be in school.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

nope and nope. I broke off an engagement early last year and haven’t been up for dating again until somewhat recently.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

listing my strengths and weaknesses. I’m actually very good at structuring and writing essay-style arguments, and that kind of analysis. I’m horrible at having the motivation and self-discipline to actually do it though. 

Dogs or cats?

I’m allergic to cats, so dogs it is. though tbh I think prefer the temperament of cats.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

this year? I haven’t written as much as usual this year what with all the..... events. well, hm. let me see. all my best writing is going to be from my Star Wars fics and so won’t make sense without context but

Certainly, Shan has no chance. She has spent months on end with your old master, after all. No trick of the Force, no Jedi Master could ever change what Revan is at his core or keep the pull of its influence forever at bay. No one - Jedi, Sith, Mandalorian - could, once taken in, escape the event horizon of that black-hole heart.

(Not even you.)

No, Shan has no chance, not after whatever Revan has done to corrupt or soften her. Maybe he’s convinced her to embrace attachments after all, embrace familial attachments, romantic ones, adversarial ones - the number and nature of the attachments are irrelevant as long as the strongest among them is her attachment to him. But the ropes Revan ties around the necks of his victims have millions of threads, and you resolve to follow them to their far ends. Scores of your agents have met their death trying to retrieve Bastila Shan. [...]

What’s something you would like to create content for?

Vampyr. Hetalia. Vampyr/Hetalia. orz

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

for now, Hetalia. unfortunately.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

several irl current events turned out to be such a letdown. I wanted fucking justice, dammit.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can be pretty fucking good at manipulation when I want to be tbh.

Are you religious?

yeah I’m actually a nun. nunya business.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

more brain, less hormones. related, I wanna visit my baby niece.

tagging @sunnylolli, if you haven’t already done it.

#tag game

[feuqueerfire]

Badhaai Do Live Blogging

Queer brown people who get into a lavender marriage! A Bollywood movie about gay people, I'm so excited. Also I've been told it's a happy ending, so here we goooo

Aug 20

Genuine delight at the family gathering full of legit everyone + the marriage discussion and how the son gets so much more choice + although I don't speak Hindi, I understand tiny bits because of its similarity to Bengali

lmfaoooo my guy had really chosen a random girl he'd agree to marry, never expecting the family to agree to let him but whelp, now they have

lmfao and the girl avoids marriage by the 'my last fiance mysteriously passed away, you wanna take that chance?'

For shows in Korean or Hindi, I'm forever reminded that the subs don't fully express what's being said because I can understand enough to pick up that something different/more is being said but it's sad that I can't tell what exactly is the meaning

Anyway, forever glad I don't have a brother because in both families, we just saw a sister/female cousin be resentful of how the sons get special treatment

omg father-daughter good relationship :0 hope it remains that way pleaseee

O.O she's got a creepy stalker mans ?!

lmfao not her complaining about the stalker to the cops but Mr cop guy basically now stalking her T.T it's only lmfao because i know he's the main gay lead, otherwise i wouldn't be a lot more

omggg a dance number!!!!! let's goooo

ngl drunk ppl scary as hell even though it seems to turn out fine and jokey

Aww Sumi tagging along with Shardul and Kabir is cute and them having like kind of a 3 person honeymoon is adorable but I don't like Kabir so hm

ngl the guys' happiness + Sumi's longing made me sad though like I didn't tear up but could've

naurrr I'm dead not her overhearing them arguing about sex I'd T.T cry fr

kasdjf ahhh Sumi's meet cute with her future gf is when she goes to give her dad's stool sample

lmfao she's like when people have crushes on baristas and so go to get coffee everyday but she's out here doing some health tests

aww the future gf's family don't talk to her anymore T.T

lol the problems of living together as roommates arising now

ahhhhhh a queer party :0000 bro I'm boutta cry fr

oh yeah gf's name is Rimjhim. Also are we to understand that she's not Hindu? because of her not understanding/complying with the title + namaste thing?

aww Sumi bonding with her ex-gf's child

the passport thing and inability to go abroad always hits like damn the weight of a specific country's passport...

dang a sumi and rimjhim fight :(

ummm Shardul straight up slapping his boyfriend?!?! ummm O.O the fuck this is different from the KinnPorsche which made me be like oh? 0.0 ;) because this is like oh?! O.O D: anxiety like I'm here for the comedy + some angst and heartbreak, not... hitting your partner

arghhhhh okay let's see how they handle it ig like he apologized and I'm guessing Kabir's gone for good now.

damn the pressure of having kids starts now ig

omgggg sleeping on floors altogether is making me miss being young and sleeping at my grandma's so much! sharing rooms with cousins when a few of us came or when all of us were sleeping on floors of every room during my uncle's wedding

lmfao "noo don't tell anyone that's Sumi can't have a child hehe" to Mr blabbermouth

the calling Naaznin is killing me fr lmfaoooo

bro I'm so nervous but also I'm laughing cuz it's hilarious

lmfaooo Mummy's written method of what to say as a mother-in-law (nightmare fuel for desi women)

yooo this lawyer mans. so cool i want to be you

ahhhh double dates ahhhhhh ^.^

yo Guru funny as hell and also loves playing with fire

fuckkkkk Mummy saw Sumi and Rimjhim in bed

bro I'm boutta come and beat Sumi's bro's ass

omg the "lower your eyes!" thing when getting yelled at by mom. childhood memories

Sumi's father stand up for her pleaseeeeeee

omg :0 Shardul finally standing up for Sumi (my guy has been perfect desi son so far, no protest while his family hounds his wife lmfao so at least he's standing up for her now)

Shardul coming out omg (me trying not to be resentful that he gets to come out to his family with his own mouth rather than get walked in on by his mother-in-law)

Mummy T.T

I was wonderingggg when the pride parade will come in

omg another under the pride flag moment line in Not Me

something about this scene...

omggggg CRYING SCREAMING PULLING MY HAIR OUT at shardul, sumi, rimjhim, guru all being present at this puja for the child along with shardul's family + sumi's father

I love watching East or South East Asian media because it has similarities to my South Asian culture and I enjoy seeing these similarities that I wouldn't see in Western shows. However, seeing an actual South Asian movie where the culture is so similar to mine (different religions, so not quite the same) is so good! Family everywhere and all of them nosy! Familial pressure from all sides! The CNGs that they rode! The hustle and bustle of the city and of life! Hindi's similar to Bengali! Unfamiliar with the ultimate acceptance from many family members though lol but I can live vicariously through them I guess.

Sumi and Rimjhim (love her name) are so freaking beautiful. They were so beautiful.

I didn't like Shardul (lmfao patriarchal cop mans) but I guess... this movie wasn't necessarily about liking him. He deserves rights and for his queerness to be accepted even if I don't like him. I wish we got some more of the lawyer mans and Shardul, he was the most interesting character for sure.

Happy ending, funny moments, tinged with some sadness and struggles. I enjoyed it.

Rating: 7.5/10 hmm

Tiktoks:

Pride March - freaking loved it when I watched it and is definitely a reason why this went up my list and was one of my Highest priority ones

Twitter edit of Sumi/Rimjhim (cr: jinsolgbt)

#ep by ep commentary #badhaai do

[essaygraveyard]

Am I Old???

2023 has certainly been a year. Honestly, it doesn't have much of a right to be causing the amount of introspection as it has been based on my own life and yet it's found a way. Granted some of that is from world events, it's hard not to have to take a look back on your actions, no matter how passive, when it has become undeniable that absolutely every system you participate in is endorsing genocide. Outside of that though I can't help but feel alienated from a lot of things that I used to help use to define my identity.

I didn't buy a single game on steam this year. The only console game I bought was Tears of the Kingdom which honestly, I don't know if that counts as its own game. I did go to see my fair share of movies this year, which is markedly up from the previous few years, but I didn't engage with them quite as in depth as I used to with other films. I started playing Runescape again, and that briefly sparked some retrospection before falling into something of an obligation. The main shift in my media diets where that I started watching One Piece and that I've been playing significantly more Ttrpgs. My writing for so long has been fueled by consumption for so long that now that my consumption has decreased so has my output. I'm at the end of the year now thinking that I should be playing new games and diving back into what drove me before, but I can't find the motivation organically.

Video games used to be exciting. In high school I latched on to the fact that they were an evolving medium, that every year there was some game that was pushing a limit in a way that felt new. The critical landscape that I found myself in after that reinforced a lot of my engagement with the newest output of a wide variety of developers. Indie games were constantly surprising, AAA games were consistently pushing the boundary. There was no shortage of topics to explore that made me feel like I was unwinding the possibilities that the medium presented. Even in more recent years when the formulas in both spaces started to feel more and more set there were still refinements to be made. The Last of Us Part 2 gave me months of work to process, Cyberpunk 2077 even more so. In between those I did start to feel a longing for another Night in the Woods or Kentucky Route Zero. The indie games I did play hit me with a hollowness that felt like I was missing something. I probably was.

Last year I renegotiated my relationship with a lot of older games that I came to realize my opinions were never really my own. I finally admitted to myself that I had never actually enjoyed a number of critically beloved games, and in following realized there were a number of games I had sworn off despite enjoying immensely. Skyrim was the main player that helped me articulate that. At the time I felt like I could move into 2023 confident that I was going to be more honest with myself about my personal experience with the games that I consumed. Then I didn't play any fucking games.

What's odd is that I no longer feel like I'm missing out on anything. The only game this year that felt like it might be worth it is Baldur's Gate 3 and even that I'm in no rush to get around to. In any other year I would have picked up Starfield just to tear it to shreds, but that too came and went without a second thought. I don't even know any of the indie games that came out this year, and when that would have felt like a failing to me once I don't strongly feel any way about it now. It seems to me that in many ways video games have hit their limits. Like any other medium new great works can be created within them, and like any other medium there is now a strong capitalist contest resisting the more experimental tendencies of the people working on them. Before everything was new and interesting, now it takes work to sort it out. Perhaps then it's no wonder that this is the year I started playing Ttrpgs 3-4 times a week.

[temporarymoods]

almost october

[seething]

i tried a quiche today, at a cafe clearly customer-ed by rich people. i couldn't quite place why the baristas were like, colder than normal, but after a couple minutes of surveying their patronage i was like oh.. yeah. :( this is not the scene i'm used to!

anyway, it's night now. and you won't believe the set-up in my room. little context first: my congestion has been crazier than normal, sinuses just all out of whack, nostrils closing and opening at will. the left nose hole was like, dry today or something, so the corresponding left back of my throat was sore this evening. idk the actual cause and effect here, but maybe someday soon i'll educate myself on the anatomy of it all. anyway, i have too many important things happening over the next couple of days and i can't get sick or have any pestulancies (made-up word)!! since i had already steam-bathed myself over a cup of tea post-homemade-fish-taco-dinner, and it was kind of nice, i had some empirical evidence supporting the idea that adding moisture to my air & sleeping in that for hours would make a kind of difference, so, time to bust out the humidifier! but then-- the air purifier. hmmm, you see i wake up and sneeze every morning because of fucking dust or something idk. mold?! so i've been living with my new baby as we know...but would it dry out my new air? has it been? all thoughts i've had in the last 20 minutes. anyway, i go to fill up my humidifier with water, bam, she's working right away. i put her next to my bed and turn to the air purifier at the foot of my bed, turn it on. WHY IS IT READING AT 100?! oh mygod she turned on and boom numbers start flying up. what?! its normally at like...1. maybe 002. but we flew past the 70s into the 90s and past 100?! (don't ask me what it's measuring, idk, but number bigger = badder) so i was shocked! i ran her last night, with really no need! steady low numbers, even with/after candle burning. then wasn't in my room all day! maybe left my door open for a moment this evening... so that's an unsolved mystery. but i think ugh maybe the humidifier is too close to my bed, i don't want to get wet dirty air. so the two machines are now both at the foot of my bed, sharing the rug <3 sisters <3 so cute <3 and i am well taken care of. thank you, machines! please keep me healthy! (lol just realized the mug of tea i made a while ago is also still quite warm because of my electronic mug hahaha. that's so chic)

that was a lot of dumbness. but it excites me. what else. i had a proper adventure today. so much was inspiring me and filling my bucket i just had to write it down at the beginning of my afternoon class. let's take a look at the notion, shall we?

here's the translation:

i saw a young child at thinking cup newbury. we vibed. tweeted about it. go check (there's a secret passageway on here)

self-explanatory, also, i was there for a rent check

self-explanatory, 2 toast and a sauce please

first quote me staring convo, second quote dude whose smile made my day saying bye; support UFCW !! they gave me a sticker & a pin :D

just checking in...doing my rounds................garnering intel....

same thing.......let a girl be......

wanted to remember this bc it felt like i was on a streak of kindness from strangers :)

self-explanatory, second point true asf

saw a rifle for the first time in a long time! turns out i can recognize that hint of white taped wood anywhere

so that's what i did. what was i thinking tho? good question. got a list for that too.

been watching a lot of movies recently. finished she's the man tonight, actually. weird as fuck, like straight up. if i did star ratings it would only get 2

coming soon :0

didn't yet (pay my credit card. lmao)

new wes anderson flick

also for my watchlist, thanks sapphic twitter

10 year pure heroine anniversary, was gonna tweet about it

coming soon :0

paper i want to read, taken from paper i read about south dakota native american abortion politics in 2006

god. when does she stop making lists...never.

silly

thinking i would

got too many eggs, want sweet treats, mad scientist therapy, etc.

secret (i want a way to store my homemade salad dressings)

pillies

so i've got a lot going on, internally and externally. big woo. have to get up so early tomorrow-- i shouldnt be up right now-- to go to a catholic training about protecting god's children, mandatory for before i begin tutoring writing once a week at an in-need private school. awkwarrddd for the church! (it's about child sexual assault prevention.) curious to see how they approach the subject. but its early as fuck and a 20 minutes drive away. watching pretty little liars right now though and the two cunty moms are discussing divorce and dating again, lmfao. this show cracks me up. i told the elevator pitch version of my parents' divorces story today, only to realize i hadn't really talked about it in a while. a long while. not something i think about, those couple of months. shit was kind of...idk. don't think i have the right word.

i should get goinggg now. i know!! such a shame. isn't it so fun to read all these details?! it's fun for me to write them. i want to remember somehow.

w/ love & sustained interest in life, talk soon, about teaching, and other things, Kate

p.s. i've been taking some pretty pictures, will share soon xo

#nice #sweet #lime #lists #wip #untilnexttime

[storiesforallfandoms]

abcdefu ~ jacob elordi

word count: 1697

request?: no

description: in which she sees him for the first time since their bad break up and things go about as well as you’d expect

pairing: jacob elordi x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

i don’t know why, but every time i listen to this song i think of jacob so i had to write an imagine about it

also (y/s/n) = your stage name

Maybe I should’ve expected to see Jacob. My manager had already warned me that the whole cast of Euphoria would be there. They were also nominated for numerous awards, of course they’d be there. That included Jacob, the show’s (and my) main antagonist.

What I didn’t expect was to see Jacob stood on stage just before I was about perform, with a mic in his hand and a clearly fake smile on his face.

“This next performer is definitely one to keep an eye on,” Zendaya was saying. “Her debut single reached number one within its first week, and has been topping the charts ever since.”

“Her next single is one of the most anticipated single of 2022,” Jacob picked up. To anyone watching, they’d think he was just reading from the teleprompter, but I could hear the strain in his voice as he was speaking. “Unfortunately, you’ll be waiting a little longer.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for (Y/S/N)!”

I should’ve been freaking out. I mean, the Zendaya just said my name! But it was hard to get excited when I was still focused on my ex stood right next to her.

At least it made me angry enough to give the most passionate performance of the song I wrote about him.

I could hardly blame the producers. It wasn’t like anyone even knew Jacob and I dated. It was before I had even gotten into music and Jacob had just gotten cast in the first Kissing Booth movie. I was so proud of him when he got the call. I visited set nearly every day, I ran lines with him before the first day of shooting, I supported him every step of the way.

And he broke up with me just before they wrapped filming.

Two months later, he was spotted getting cozy with Joey King, his Kissing Booth co-star.

I was upset and angry to say the least. That’s when I got serious about music and songwriting.

So maybe I should’ve been thanking Jacob for fueling my fire to start my music career. Instead, when I walked off stage and found the familiar tall boy waiting for me, I was rendered speechless. We just looked at each other, neither speaking, as people around me tried to congratulate me on my performance.

“Hey,” Jacob finally said. “You were great out there.”

“Thanks,” I said, trying to keep my voice as icy as possible.

I tried to walk past him, but he put a hand out to stop me. “Wait, (Y/N). I want to talk.”

“Everything I have to say was said on stage tonight.”

“I know, but I have some things I feel like I should talk to you about.”

I was reluctant to follow him, but I had a feeling I should listen to whatever he had to say. At least so I could tell him to fuck off afterwards.

I followed him through the backstage area. His tall stature made it easy to push through the crowds of people. But being so much shorter than him made it hard to keep up. Or maybe that was just me not wanting to follow him wherever he was taking me.

We finally arrived to an empty corner. I turned to face Jacob and crossed my arms. I wanted to stay angry with him, but it was hard when looking at him brought back so many memories from when we were together.

And the heart break.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so hard to be angry.

“You have, like, five minutes,” I told him. “Get to talking.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry for how things ended between us. That was extremely unfair to you for me to just leave you with little explanation.”

“Wow, an apology! You’re just about five years too late.”

“(Y/N) - ”

“No Jacob, your time to talk is officially over. I get that we couldn’t control being here tonight, and we couldn’t control that you and Zendaya were the ones presenting my performance, but what we can control is this little interaction. And frankly, I don’t want to be here listening to it. You absolutely shattered my heart, Jacob. I thought we were in this for the long run, and then you just threw me to the wayside at the first hint of some fame and then went off to fuck your co-star. Or maybe you did that before you broke up with me, because the timing of you two getting together is a little suspicious. You have no right to come up to me tonight, five years later, when I’m the one starting to get some fame and try to apologize. It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m not accepting this bullshit apology.”

“None of it was real, (Y/N)!”

I stopped. There was so much more anger I was ready to get out, but his words puzzled me. What wasn’t real? What he felt for me? Our relationship? Because that’s how it was starting to feel.

“The whole thing with Joey,” he clarified. “We were never together. It was all set up by the producers of the movie. They wanted more publicity for the movie, so they set up this fake, PR relationship between Joey and I.”

I scoffed. “Right, and that’s why you broke up with me. Because the whole relationship was fake.”

“Yes! I didn’t want to hurt you, but I knew there was no way to maintain the relationship and have this fake one with Joey. I was going to have to go out on so many fake dates with her and be seen out in public acting all lovey-dovey and shit, and I knew that meant I wouldn’t be able to take you out anywhere. I wouldn’t be able to flaunt you around the way I wanted because I was going to have to fake being with Joey. I knew that would hurt you, and maybe I should’ve explained things better when I broke it off, but I thought it would’ve been easier to just make you think that I was really breaking it off than you basically string you along during that stupid shit.”

I felt my anger slowly starting to fizzle away. I tried to keep up the façade, but it was starting to get hard. He was already breaking down my walls just by being stood in front of me, and yeah I still thought he was incredibly stupid for not telling me the truth, but knowing now that he hadn’t left me for Joey - or hadn’t fooled around with Joey while we were still together - made me feel a little less upset.

“So...there was nothing between the two of you?”

“Not for me there wasn’t. Joey eventually started to catch feelings, and that’s when I ended things with her. I knew I couldn’t give her what she wanted, because there was only one girl I could ever love.”

He touched my chin with his hand, causing me to look all the way up at him. I hated him for being so tall, but at the same time getting to look up at him again was causing a fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

“I could never love anyone the way I love you, (Y/N),” he said. “You wouldn’t understand how many times I wanted to reach out to you and explain everything. Even right after I broke up with you, when you were walking out the door, I had to stop myself from going after you and telling you everything. The more that time went on, the more I felt like I had missed my chance, and then I figured it would’ve just been better to leave you alone to move on. I didn’t need to bring up anymore heartbreak for you. But it seems like I’ve been doing that without even reaching out to you.”

“Music has been very therapeutic for me.”

“I can tell.”

Before I could register what was happening, Jacob was lowering his head towards me. His lips came down just inches from mine, so close that they were brushing ever so slightly together. My heart was yearning to close that small gap, to feel those lips on mine once again. I wanted to erase the five years of pain that I had and to just remember all the good that Jacob and I had went through.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered before finally kissing me.

For a moment, I forgot there were other people around us. I felt like we were the only two people in the room - on Earth even. His kiss sent sparks of electricity through me. I just wanted to keep kissing him forever. I never wanted to let him go again.

But then I remembered where we were and what had led to this conversation, so I reluctantly put my hands against his chest and pushed him away.

“An apology and an explanation alone isn’t going to undo the five years of hurt you put me through,” I told him. But I wish it could.

“Yeah, you’re right. I can’t just think this makes everything magically go away,” he said, shaking his head.

He was backing away from me. My hands tingled to reach out and pull him back. To just say fuck it and let him back in all at once instead of slowly, like I probably should.

“But I’ll do whatever it takes to be allowed back into your heart.”

Fuck it.

“If you want back into my heart, then let’s ditch this place and go back to my hotel room,” I said. “You can make it up to me with that mouth of yours.”

His eyebrows rose and I could see a hint of pink rushing up his neck. “But...the show - ”

I shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

I started to walk away. I smirked to myself as he quickly caught up with me, putting a hand around my waist and leading me out of the cramped award show and back to my hotel room. Where it could be just us, just me and Jacob.

The way things should be.

#jacob elordi #jacob elordi imagine #jacob elordi x reader #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom