#this is from the mothers day fic for this year uwu

[papermatisse]

Let Me Try Again || K.SY

♗ pairing: kwon soonyoung x f!reader

♗ genre: angst, fluff

♗ word count: 30k

♗ warnings: heavy plot + elements (depression, anxiety, abandonment), pregnancy, foul language

♗ synopsis: Soonyoung had never wanted to live a restrained capitalistic life, forced to work a tiresome 9 to 5, paying taxes until the day he dies. Though in exchange to pursue the other option, that being devotion to a career, he had to pay an unfathomably large price—he had to abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved. can he fit himself back into his former life? one that's changed more than he can possibly imagine? could the ones he loved forgive him for his wrongdoings? could he get the second chance he wants so desperately?

♗ (a/n): im back w my bs uwu. one of my biggest fics, named after Frank Sinatra's "Let Me Try Again". pls give it a read and enjoy! 😭🙏❤️

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Soonyoung breathed a sigh of relief upon stepping off the plane. Though he was still trapped in the crowd of other passengers, scrambling to meet with their respective families and collect their baggage, he had never felt so free.

College was an experience, to say the least. He had his fair share of fun, partying and meeting new friends. Sometimes those parties went awry, with either cops showing up to dismantle the chaotic atmosphere or Soonyoung drinking more than he could handle. He also experienced those painful nights of cramming, staying up until the crack of dawn, eyes near bloodshot, faint lines of text imprinted in his vision for the next few minutes as he turned away from his textbooks.

Many times, he was sure he'd fail, ruin his life forever. The life he had worked tirelessly to prepare for. The life he traded everything for, leaving behind his family, his friends. The girl he had sworn he'd marry one day.

Yet here he was, Master's degree now printed on his resume in a single additional line. A new and accomplished man, ready to take on the world.

And it seemed his efforts were already coming to use as he left his university. He had already gotten a fairly reasonable job offer; a software engineer in the tech department of SVT Corporations. It was a major industry, a rare job offer he'll probably never see again in his lifetime. It had to be pure luck. That he was in the right place at the right time. A surreal experience, that he was able to land such a fantastic start to his career.

Though before accepting, he decided to return to his roots one last time. A final goodbye to his past. The foundation which supported him up to this point. His childhood home. 

Being away for so long was quite the challenge for Soonyoung. He had always been a family man, someone who always put his loved ones before himself. Though as he grew older, his priorities admittedly shifted. Yet there still remained that tug in his heart, swaying him back to his loved ones, reminding him that though he wished to give himself the stable life he had always craved, he could never truly sacrifice everything for himself.

So to have to pack up and move across the country for years was truly a harrowing feat, though one he nevertheless conquered.

It was difficult, a trial he never really prepared himself for because he never believed he'd have to endure it. That dull ache in his heart that first time he video called his mother. Watching her face appear on his screen, grainy from the lousy connection, though still there. Still his loving mother. She cried for him, proud he was doing this for himself. Happy that her son was going to have a future as an engineer. What more could a mother want but the joy of her children?

He remained where he was for all those years. Never once flying back home. Because he feared that the moment he stepped foot in his town, he'd stay. The memories of his past calling out to him. The treehouse his friends and him always frequented. The bowling alley Seokmin and him would spend hours in avoiding schoolwork. The park he confessed his love to his crush. 

Yet as he stepped off the terminal, breathing in the air of his hometown for the first time in six years, he felt his worries were for naught.

He had heard his family before he had seen them, sister all but colliding into him the moment she spotted him. Tears brimmed his eyes as he held her for the first time in years, surprised at how grown she had become. Afterwards came his mother who had already been crying long before she had seen him, and then his father who also looked equally misty eyed.

For the first time in a long while, Soonyoung felt somewhat complete. 

His first day back had been spent with his family. Catching up with them, sharing his stories from college, hearing some of the family drama he missed out on.

At the dinner table, as they continued to converse with one another, his father had asked what his plans were.

He told him that he had been given a job offer that he was supposed to answer by the end of the month.

The news definitely dampened the mood, as he basically admitted right then and there that they would only have Soonyoung for four weeks before he was to leave them once more. Nevertheless, they chose to cherish the little time they had with Soonyoung, refusing to dwell upon the inevitable and instead thrive in the happiness he granted them with his presence.

The next day, he was already calling his friends again, digging through his old contacts and hoping none of them had changed their numbers. Though more specifically, he hoped Seokmin hadn't changed his number. 

He pressed the contact, smiling fondly at the silly display before him. An old picture of the boy from when they went to the pool, the dual ensemble of a swimming cap paired with a tiny set of black goggles. It was dumb, yet ever nostalgic, and still brought joy to Soonyoung as he finally dialed the number, pressing his phone to his ear. 

Upon the first ring, Soonyoung felt himself gulp, nearly choking on the descent down his throat. His thoughts began hitting him all at once. 

What if Seokmin didn't want Soonyoung anymore? He did just leave with no other words after getting on that plane. What if Seokmin hated him?

Second ring.

Why didn't Soonyoung just talk to his friends? He knew he was busy, but he shouldn't have been too busy for his childhood friends? Why couldn't he just keep in contact at the least? A simple greeting every so often wouldn't have hurt him. 

Third ring. 

Soonyoung felt his face redden with anxiety, his heart rate picking up. Worries of whether he truly did lose his lifelong friend riddled his mind. His fingers clutched at his jeans, gulping again as his nerves burned within him. 

"Hello?" A voice chimed through his phone, the familiar voice of his best friend wading into his ear, easing Soonyoung's frantic worries as a grin stretched on his face.

"Hello," Soonyoung responded, biting his lip as silence filled the other line. Just from assumptions alone, Seokmin must've pulled his phone away, getting a gander at the contact that called him, because a distant gasp sounded out before the voice was once more right at the mic. 

"Soonyoung!" He hollered, nearly bursting his eardrum as he laughed at his friend's reaction. "Holy shit, dude, what's up! It's been literal ages! How've you been?" 

"I'm good, I'm good," Soonyoung answered, looking down at his lap. "I just graduated."

"Oh, I'm talking to an educated man, I see," Seokmin noted, bringing a chuckle to Soonyoung. "Well, Sir Academia, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call?" 

"Well, I'm home." It was quiet for a moment, so quiet that Soonyoung believed his friend may have hung up, but then he chimed in moments later. 

"Wait, home home? Like, here home?" 

"I'm at my parents house right now–"

"Oh my God! Stay there! I'll be there in ten minutes, okay!" The man suddenly hung up, causing Soonyoung to break out into more laughs at his friend's manic behavior.

At least he hadn't lost him. It felt like a light weight was lifted from his shoulders. That his bond with Seokmin was strong enough to persevere through these years. He still regretted cutting off everyone, though was still incredibly relieved at such a development.

The moment Seokmin pulled up, he was practically dragging Soonyoung away, shoving him into his car after a dramatic hug, and driving off. 

"I'm taking you to everyone," Seokmin explained as they made their way through the town.

Soonyoung smiled at the sights they passed. Nothing had changed. As if he hadn't ever left. As if the town was frozen in time, waiting for his return to thaw back to the present. It was comforting, a constant in his life he could rely on. 

The first person they went to was Seungcheol, working at his mother's real estate agency. They had waited for him to look up from his desk, and when he met their eyes, his facade of professionalism evaporated, the suited man leaping to his feet and practically hopping over his desk to embrace Soonyoung. The others in the office looked to them with terror at the display, but that didn't stop Seungcheol from lifting his long lost friend in the air, hugging him nearly to death with a bright smile on his face. 

Their next stop was Jeonghan and Joshua's apartment, the two of them having off from their jobs for the day. Seokmin had knocked on their door, to which neither of them answered. Insisting that he knew they were in there, Seokmin continued to knock until a disgruntled Jeonghan finally whipped open the door, about to tell off the supposed loiterers at his door until he saw Soonyoung. The fanfare continued as Joshua came out, coming to investigate what all the ruckus was about, though inevitably joining alongside his roommate with welcoming Soonyoung back. 

This continued for the rest of the day practically, Seokmin dragging Soonyoung to every corner of the city, reuniting with his old friend group. Mingyu had regrettably grown even taller since they last spoke, Vernon's fashion sense had mellowed over the years, and Chan looked so grown, the sight of the young man almost bringing tears to Soonyoung's eyes.

"You really didn't have to do this for me, Seokmin. I was planning on just calling everyone eventually and planning meetups," Soonyoung explained as Seokmin drove them back from Chan's place. The sun was setting, the sky an orange pink hue as the day was nearing its end; a day well spent in Soonyoung's book. 

"No worries at all!" Seokmin assured, waving his hand in the air before returning it to the steering wheel. "It gives me time to hang out with my best friend who abandoned me all these years." Soonyoung rolled his eyes and sighed as Seokmin laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I knew you were busy. You got your Master's pretty early, too."

"I did, I did." Soonyoung sighed. Rather than it being necessarily early, it was mainly right on time. Though it cost him so much to stay on this schedule. "It was difficult, especially being away from everyone." He paused, smiling as he thought back on the day. At the faces of his friends he hasn't seen in so long. He hadn't realized how much he missed them until he was there in front of them. Hearing them speak for the first time in years, seeing how they changed while he was away, seeing them become settled in their lives, finding that happiness everyone sought for. "I should've at least texted you."

"What'd I say?" Seokmin parked his car, turning his head to face Soonyoung. "No. Worries." He poked his finger into Soonyoung's side with each word. "We all understood, you were chasing your dreams. We wouldn't want anything different. And knowing you, you were bound to come back." Seokmin patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Thanks." Soonyoung smiled softly at the comforting words directed to him.

He had been so worried everyone would have been upset he just left them and never spoke again, but after today, he knew everyone missed him just as much as he missed them. 

Though through all the joy in him, past the relief he felt upon meeting his friends once more, one thought plagued his mind. 

"Hey," he began warily, attracting Seokmin's attention, "How's (y/n)?"

Seokmin grinned at the name, though not as ecstatic as his usual wide smile. More so one of familiarity, comfort, fondness.

"She's great, we just hung out last week. Her, Seungkwan, and I.'' Seokmin said, bringing a smile to Soonyoung's face. He was glad to hear that. That they all remained friends after he left. After he broke her heart, and left her behind. Before he could speak though, Seokmin continued, his words all but halting Soonyoung's every thought. "It's really hard to plan things with her since she has to adjust her schedule to fit both us and her kid, but she still makes the effort."

"Her... kid?" Soonyoung's voice was weak, barely even louder than the air conditioning hitting his face, but Seokmin heard nevertheless. He glanced at him in confusion before realization hit him, eyes widening and jaw dropping. 

"Oh, nobody told you!" He shouted in shock, glancing around the street they were on before swiftly recalculating his destination, making a U-turn all of a sudden. "Yeah, she has a daughter! Little Chaerim."

Soonyoung's face blanked, his chest tightening at the information relayed to him. 

She had a kid. So many things had changed during his time away, like Minghao taking up meditation, Jihoon becoming a famous producer, even Jeonghan adding more furniture to his pet rock's house. But (y/n) having a kid? 

For as long as he could remember, Soonyoung had the biggest crush on (y/n). Starting from their first meeting at the age of 11, his feelings only seemed to spiral deeper and deeper with every year until he had finally asked her out in the middle of highschool.

They were highschool sweethearts. The epitome of a perfect relationship. They never got into fights, unlike the other relationships around them which seemed to fizzle with the angst of teenage development. They were never jealous, having this undeniable trust in one another, enough to grant them comfort with one another from just the mere thought of the other, and no random addition of a person could tarnish that mentality. They were mature, treating their relationship as something which should be cherished and nurtured, never once treating the other disrespectfully or tarnishing the perfect bond they had. 

That is until after highschool, when Soonyoung was accepted into his college across the country. 

It all began crumbling after that. Doubt riddled his mind soon after.

Whether he could truly keep (y/n) happy from such a great distance. Could he manage a long distance relationship and his studies? Would he have to put one over the other? If he did, then his grades would tank, because he wouldn't have the heart to put his school before her in any scenario. Should he just abandon everything, throw away this idea of self fulfillment for love? Find a regular 9 to 5 to support him and (y/n)?  He'd stay with her, but at what cost? Soonyoung never wanted to work a job like that. To live a life where everyday, waking up felt like a task, and his only reprieve was the peace of sleep. It's why he was struggling with this debacle in the first place. 

Whether to put his happiness or her happiness first? 

Yet at the end of the day, he chose the former. He couldn't possibly give her the happy life she deserved if he himself was miserable. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he brought her any form of misery, like the lack of a devout husband. Someone she was forced to watch crumble with every passing day, nothing more than a shell of what he once was. His vibrancy extracted through the shackles of capitalism until he could no longer handle it. Until not only his will to be happy dissipated, but also his will to make her happy, gone like everything else. He couldn't condemn her to such a cruel inevitability. 

As much as it pained him to admit it, it would be much better for him to let her go, give her the chance to find the happiness she deserves, which clearly didn't belong to a monster like him.

And so he let her go.

He had been so distracted he hadn't even acknowledged Seokmin parking again in yet another unfamiliar apartment building. 

"We're here!" He announced, stepping out of the car excitedly. Soonyoung on the other hand stepped out warily, glancing around as if he'd see her waiting for him, glaring in disdain at the man who shattered her heart and left. 

All the while, Seokmin raved about Chaerim as they made their way to her apartment. He talked about how cute she is, how she's the sweetest thing he's ever seen, how Soonyoung would just love her. 

Yet her mere existence seemed to haunt Soonyoung, torment him the longer he knew of her existence. Because she stands as a testament of (y/n) moving on from him. 

Before he knew it, they stopped before a door.

It was just like any other along the narrow corridor, though it felt much more daunting to him, knowing who was behind it. 

"Watch this," Seokmin whispered excitedly, cracking his knuckles before placing both on the door. He began rapping a beat on the wood which went on for longer than any knock should . He then stepped back proudly, a smile on his face as he looked back at Soonyoung, patiently waiting for something to happen. They could hear muffled shouting through the door, growing louder and louder to the point that Soonyoung could now very clearly make out the voice to be saying "Uncle Seokmin!" on repeat.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Time seemed to stop as a tiny face peeked out, smiling brightly up at his friend who then crouched with outstretched arms. The girl had leapt into his arms, giggling as he lifted her up and hugged her. 

Soonyoung felt his breathing pick up, seeing the little girl buried in Seokmin's shirt. That little girl was the daughter of his true love. The one girl he had always adored. The girl he all but abandoned.

But she wasn't his daughter. 

And though that fact lingered over him  treacherously, reminding him of his past faults, reminding him that he could've had that had he chosen (y/n) at the end, he still attempted to push away his negative thoughts, offering the girl a smile as he waited for Seokmin to acknowledge him.

Once the enthusiasm subsided, Seokmin finally did turn to him again. 

"Chaerim, I'd like you to meet my friend, Soonyoung."

The girl looked up at him, peeking over from beneath Seokmin's chin at the strange man a few feet away from her. And as their eyes met, Soonyoung felt his heart all but collapse, watching two sharp, angular eyes peering at him curiously. Eyes which quirked upwards at their ends… Just like his. 

His expression dropped, the color of his skin draining as she revealed all of her face to him, and it felt as if Soonyoung were looking directly into a mirror. She stared at him so resolutely, his own panic seeming nonsensical from how calm she remained, merely resting against Seokmin as she continued to look at Soonyoung, observing as you would an animal exhibit. 

"Chaerim!" A voice hollered from inside the opened apartment. A person emerged from the hall within, making her way swiftly to the entry, exasperated as if this were a daily occurrence in her life. As the woman appeared at the door, Soonyoung realized who it was. 

Jihyo, (y/n)'s best friend. 

She looked to Seokmin and Chaerim for a moment, silently acknowledging that the situation is handled, before looking to Soonyoung, standing there starstruck with his mouth agape, glancing between Jihyo and Chaerim. 

Jihyo's face shifted from indifference at everything, to shock upon seeing Soonyoung, to then near terror, brows arched in surprise as she froze in place, much like Soonyoung at the moment. 

"Was it Seokmin?" Another voice resounded from the apartment. A soft, lull like voice which carried in the air, light and delicate with its tone as it hit Soonyoung, a familiarity which lit his nerves though also seemed to melt him into butter.

And then she appeared, rounding the same corner as Jihyo. Soonyoung felt his knees buckle, weak against her mere presence which seemed to dominate the entire room. She looked up, stopping mid step as she met Soonyoung's eyes, and regrettably to his disappointment, instant fear washed across her expression, a fact which seemed to stab at Soonyoung's heart. That he was no longer the one who brought her peace or comfort like he once did so long ago. That she looked to him as you would any unwelcomed stranger. 

"Is everyone okay?" Seokmin asked, the only person who wasn't in some stare down with another.

Yet before he could question it any further, Chaerim began squirming in his arms, crawling out of his embrace before bounding towards her mom. (y/n) hesitantly crouched, scooping the young girl up and into her arms, who then began whispering into her ear, legs kicking excitedly. With a shaky breath, (y/n) smiled to her guests.

"Seokmin!" She greeted first, voice wavering as she approached the door. "And Soonyoung! Please, why don't you all come in." Her hand landed on Jihyo's shoulder, snapping her out of her stupor before she backed away, allowing the boys to enter the home. 

Jihyo muttered a brief, "excuse us," before she was dragging the two girls down the hall. Soonyoung looked worriedly to their retreating forms.

The way (y/n) said his name.

She once said it with such adoration. Calling out to him from across the courtyard at school, referring to him in the middle of a conversation, whispering to him late in the night when they embraced one another. His name alone once felt so loved because she said it. Because she spoke love into it. With every syllable, with every roll of her tongue, as if speaking an entire ballad of her affections, though it was merely his name.

Now she spoke his name tentatively. As if it were poison on the tip of her tongue. As if she were stepping through a field of landmines. As if it was taboo to be spoken. 

He felt tears brimming at his eyes. Selfish tears, ones which shouldn't be shed because he condemned himself to this reality. He was the one who pushed her away. He was the one who left her home, ignoring the silent cries she left behind, ignoring the way his heart fought tooth and nail to turn back and return to her. He was the one who got onto that plane, drowning in his own sorrows as he flew further and further away from her. Away from his other half.

He once believed everyone was a whole, and that some people just made one larger whole once together, and would stay as their original wholes once separated. Yet here he was, a broken half of a man, whose other piece was left shattered and abandoned by him. 

And he still felt like that. He could feel his dormant heart stirring alive with pointless hope, beating against his rib cage as if wanting to break free and reunite with her. Yet like he always did, he ran away, walking over to her living room and sitting beside Seokmin.

"Cute, isn't she?" Seokmin nudged Soonyoung, a warm smile on his face as he referred to the young girl. "God, I just want to squish her cheeks all day. So round. Doesn't she remind you of a hamster?"

"No," Soonyoung answered faster than he had intended, shocking even himself with his thoughts. That he wasn't a hamster, so she couldn't possibly be a hamster either. He shook his head, attempting to clear away his assumptions as Seokmin chuckled. 

"You're probably right. That won't stop me from calling her my hamster though," Seokmin continued. Soonyoung leant forward onto his knees, steadying his breathing before the girls would eventually return. "You know, I'm her Godfather." 

Soonyoung looked over to him, brows furrowed in intrigue. 

"Yeah, (y/n) insisted," He continued. "I was one of the only people who knew about her pregnancy, so I was taking care of her with Jihyo for those few months." Soonyoung felt his eyes water. The thought that she was struggling so much while he was away at college. And he knew absolutely nothing. "I was even the one who drove her to the hospital when she went into labor, cause Jihyo was working at the time."

There was some relief in him at this. That she wasn't entirely alone. That though he left her behind, she still had others to care for her. He felt obligated to thank Seokmin for his efforts. For being there for her when he wasn't. For taking care of this child like she was his own. 

Chaerim.

Soonyoung was about to question him further, about to ask him more of his dear god daughter, until Jihyo appeared from the halls, hands clasped together with a nervous laugh resounding from her. 

"Okay, hello everybody, how are we feeling?" She asked, sitting on the loveseat beside them. "Sorry, we're all understandably shocked to see Soonyoung, you know?"

"No, we completely understand," Seokmin waved her off. "We should've told you guys on our way here, I just got excited." He nodded towards Soonyoung beside him. "He didn't know about Chaerim! Can you believe that?" 

"Insane," Jihyo responded, her voice monotonous as she stared blankly back at the two. 

Soon after, the final members of the party came out once more, Chaerim immediately making her way over to Seokmin again. He brought the girl to his lap, brushing back her black hair as (y/n) took a seat in front of them on her coffee table. 

"Hi," She greeted them all, though her eyes landed on none other than Soonyoung. 

"Hi," He responded, voice soft, afraid he would startle her and she'd run off. He wouldn't blame her though. He did the exact same thing. 

"Seokmin, let's go to the kitchen." Jihyo began walking off, Seokmin following after. Chaerim was peeking over his shoulder, still staring right at Soonyoung up until she disappeared into the kitchen. 

"How have you been?" (y/n) continued. He stared momentarily at the kitchen before turning back to her with a wry smile. 

"I'm okay," He answered. "I just graduated. Master's in software engineering." 

"That's amazing, congratulations!" She noted, a smile spreading on her face, though not reaching her eyes. "I'm happy to hear that. You must be so proud." 

Soonyoung winced at her words, because she seemed to unknowingly see right through him. She may not be fully aware, but he was filled with doubt. Yes, he achieved what he set out for. He got his Master's, he's got the job offer, he's got his life laid out before him, and all he had to do was live it out accordingly. Yet he was full of doubt. Doubt because he was still riddled with sorrow, wondering if things would've been better had he given up on this plan. If he could've accommodated, still involved (y/n) in his life, and just worked a little harder to keep her beside him through the long distance relationship. 

At the end of it all, that unhappiness he believed he'd have working a basic 9 to 5 equated to the unhappiness he felt living a life without (y/n). 

"Soonyoung?" She asked, startling him back to reality. 

"I'm sorry. I zoned out." She softly chuckled, nodding at his words with a soft affirmation. She looked down to her lap, fiddling with her fingers as silence encompassed the two. And as much as he didn't want to ask, as much as he knew it was inappropriate for the time being, he couldn't help it. He couldn't fight back the curiosity flooding his brain. "You have a daughter…"

She froze for a moment, hands wringing together before she looked up at him with a smile. 

"I do, yes." (y/n) pulled out her phone before handing it to him, showing her wallpaper which was Chaerim, beaming up at the camera, her eyes narrowed into slits. "Her name is Chaerim, as you may already know." His heart softened, seeing the bright little girl practically radiating like the sun. He understood why Seokmin seemed to love her so much. Because he was gradually already falling for her and he hasn't had one conversation with the girl. 

"She's beautiful," Soonyoung commented, handing the phone back to (y/n), smiling widely at his words. "What's she like?"

"Well…" (y/n) started, breaking off into a brief chuckle as she thought of the girl in question. "She's… something. Very hyperactive." (y/n) looked down at her phone, fondly gazing at the picture once more. "She's silly. There's never a dull day with her." She paused, looking for a second more before putting her phone away and sighing. "So mature. It feels like I'm talking to a little adult at times." Soonyoung smiled, seeing how much (y/n) loved her. 

"Can I meet her?" He asked softly, voice barely above a whisper. He was afraid, scared to meet this little girl. He didn't know what exactly he feared, but his thoughts were incessant.

It was either he was meeting the child of (y/n) and some guy who came and replaced him, or he was meeting the child of him and (y/n). 

And as (y/n) called out for the girl and she emerged from the kitchen with those familiar sharp eyes of hers, Soonyoung had an inkling he knew it was the latter scenario. 

"Chaerim, I'd like you to meet Soonyoung," (y/n) spoke, gesturing to the person as she said their name. "Soonyoung, this is Chaerim." 

He slid off the couch, crouching onto his knees before her with a smile on his face. 

"Hi Chaerim. It's nice to meet you." 

The little girl stood there, staring right at him, expression blank and unreadable. It almost intimidated him, the way she seemed to stare right into his soul as if it was child's play. She stepped closer to him, face to face, her gaze unwavering, as if she hadn't an ounce of fear for him. (y/n) and Soonyoung watched her with confusion, though allowed her to continue to inch closer and closer to Soonyoung until she pressed her tiny lips against his nose, pulling away after planting a soft kiss to him. 

"Chaerim, what are you doing?" (y/n) spoke in a panic, pulling her daughter against her. "You just met Soonyoung, we don't kiss strangers."

"We don't?" She asked. The first words she has spoken in his presence.

"No, we don't– How many strangers have you kissed?" (y/n) asked incredulously, eyes wide at the girl's question. Without answering, Chaerim approached Soonyoung again, his face reddened at her kiss. 

"Hello, my name is Chaerim," she greeted, voice louder than necessary, though still getting her point across. She held out her hand to him, and he hesitantly took it in his own. His lips twitched into a smile, thumb brushing over her smooth skin as he reciprocated her greeting. In some way, he knew. The moment he touched her, he knew she was his. 

Though before he could say anything else, Jihyo appeared. 

"(y/n), it's 8," she stated. Like that, (y/n)'s fond smile at the exchange dissipated, and she snapped out of her daydream at the time. 

"Chaerim, we need to give you a bath," she stated, about to stand up before Jihyo stepped in. 

"It's okay, Seokmin and I can prepare her for bed," she insisted, lifting the girl into her arms with a small huff. "You guys can keep talking." Jihyo briefly looked to Soonyoung, nodding at him in acknowledgement before turning around and disappearing down the hall, Seokmin trailing behind after waving to Soonyoung. 

Once they were alone, Soonyoung climbed back onto the couch, staring at (y/n) whose eyes darted everywhere but to him. She was nervous, which saddened Soonyoung. He remembered how she once relied on him for comfort during times like this, yet now he was the source of those worries. He just wanted to bring her to him, remind her of his undying love for her, the same love which hasn't waned since the moment he left her. Yet he understood. He understood she needed time. She needed space from him. She needed time to think after he just suddenly came back into her life. 

Though yet again, his impulsivity came through, far too curious to merely ignore the elephant in the room.

"(y/n)..." He started, tilting his head down to meet her gaze now staring at the floor between them. She continued to avoid him, eyes shifting away once he entered her peripheral vision. "(y/n), please." 

There was a desperation in his voice, this weakness in his tone that startled (y/n), loosened her resolve some as she finally peeked up at him. Her eyes were glassy, her lip quivering as she met his gaze, this pleading stare greeting her as they finally looked at one another. Truly looked at one another.

The sun was setting, casting this deep orange glow into the apartment. A myriad of colors danced across her face, the warmth of the sunset seeping into her skin. Ethereal, Soonyoung thought to himself. How beautiful his beloved (y/n) was. Perhaps it was the time spent apart, but Soonyoung swore she seemed to radiate even more now than she ever had before. As if with every passing of the sun, she seemed to blossom more and more, this breathtaking flower before him that he had left behind. 

"Talk to me. Please."

She blinked at his words, tears beginning to well up along her waterline. Though he could very clearly see that anguish in her eyes, she still attempted to play it off, breathing out a chuckle as she shrugged nonchalantly at his request. 

"What's there to say?" 

Dismissive. She looked away the moment she finished her sentence, eyes once more skirting around him, avoiding him. He winced, this surprisingly sharp pain stabbing at his heart. And yet it only encouraged him to pursue her more. 

"So much. (y/n), it's been years. Please, tell me anything. Tell me about your parents, your job, Jihyo." At this point, he had leant so close to her that their breaths were intermingling, warmth brushing against their faces from the proximity, yet to them, two long lost lovers who hadn't spoken in what felt like a lifetime, the space was anything but discomforting. A welcoming sensation that had the tips of his fingers itching to touch her, any part of her, anywhere she was willing to offer him. His eyes opened, glassy gaze once more seeking out her own as she took in a shaky breath, overwrought with the surge of emotions that came with Soonyoung's presence.

Tell me about Chaerim.

He wanted to ask so badly. The question was at the tip of his tongue, begging to be spoken. Yet upon the first break of tears cascading down her face, he knew he had already pushed her too far for now. 

Once her tears spilled, so did his, a never ending stream of moisture seeping out of his eyes, his sobs choked back upon hearing her muted sniffles. And to make matters worse, he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't gather her defeated body into his arms. He couldn't wipe her tears away or kiss at the trail they'd leave behind. He couldn't hum her favorite songs to banish her sadness away. Because unlike the other times, he wasn't hers and she wasn't his. At this point, they were no more estranged than two strangers.

His hands shook by his side, forcing himself back from holding her to him. He had no place to do so. He was nothing to her anymore. It took every fiber of his being to separate him from where he was, leaning back onto the couch with a rough sigh, jaw clenched as he attempted to will away his tears. (y/n) similarly followed suit, her hand pressed against her mouth as if to quell the cries that wanted to break free. And they remained that way for what felt like an eternity, silencing their anguish on their own. The solitude felt like a stone pressing down on him, an aching reminder of what their relationship had eventually boiled down to. 

They were childhood sweethearts. Ever since he could remember, he'd held a sweet spot for the girl next door. His friends had teased him relentlessly, the adults in his life equally tormenting him with the premise of one day marrying (y/n). So it was no shocker when he had confessed to her one fateful evening in the park by their neighborhood. What did come as a shock was when she had almost immediately reciprocated his feelings, dragging him into a bone crushing hug as she giggled away into his chest.

Seungkwan hadn't believed him the next day, giving him a once over with a raised eyebrow. His hair was frizzy with damage from repetitive bleaching, his clothes hung loosely on his lanky body, and his smile was obscured by an array of multicolored bands on his braces. Yet it only further proved her genuine affections for the boy.

They say love is blind, but it seemed like she had revealed to him a whole new plethora of shades never before seen by the human eye. The sky was bluer when he was with her, grass greener as they laid together in the field, the orange of his tiger plushies felt more vibrant whenever she cuddled one of them. 

And even now, it still held true, his atmosphere intensifying in her presence just from her sitting there in front of him. She brought him such anguish, unearthing memories he had once tried so adamantly to bury away, yet she also brought this unfathomable peace in his heart, soothing the storm that had plagued his soul for the past six years in college. The thought was what finally calmed his tears, leaving dried streaks across his face. She had yet to stop her own. 

"(y/n)." She finally spared him a wary glance, that same storm which racked his being now whirling in her irises.

In a much softer tone, he called out her name again, desperation laced in his voice, and perhaps even in his gaze, because just from looking at him, (y/n)'s resolve seemed to dissipate into thin air. With a quivering lip and another bout of tears welling up in her eyes, she found herself shifting over to the couch, collapsing into Soonyoung's arms with a loud, agonizing sob.

Her body quaked in his arms as he finally held her again, his face burying into her hair and breathing in her scent. Her arms had wrapped around his torso, fingers clenched desperately into his shirt, tugging him impossibly closer to her. He could feel the warmth of her tears seeping into the material of his top, attempting to coax more tears out of him, yet he remained as is, striving to keep his strength for the both of them in this moment. 

"You left me," she cried into his shoulder, voice wrought with unwavering sorrow. "You broke my heart." That familiar lump began forming at the base of Soonyoung's throat, yet he swallowed away the threat of tears once more, simply opting to drag her closer into his frame.

He shut his eyes, his breaths heavy and ragged as he took in her despondency, feeling firsthand how his capricious actions had not only destroyed himself, but also the love of his life. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, voice broken as he spoke through his own misery. "I'm so sorry, (y/n). I could apologize for an eternity and then some, and it would never amount to the regret I feel." His hand rubbed up and down her back, attempting to repress at least some of her sadness at the moment. "I thought… I thought this would be better for you. You didn't deserve to suffer in a long distance relationship. I thought it would be better to let you go so you can actually experience the fulfilling relationship you deserve."

"That's so fucking stupid," she sobbed out, each syllable sounding forced out through the exhaustion already setting in from her crying session. 

"I know."

"You broke my heart, you asshole."

"I know." She had mumbled out a few more indiscernible words that had intertwined with her next bout of cries, until eventually it had dissolved into nothing. The tight grip she had on Soonyoung had loosened, her face once buried in his chest now lolled loosely against his shoulder, and the quivering of her body now replaced by the gentle rise and fall of her steady breathing. And with her now silently sleeping away, he took the opportunity by himself to let out his own tears once more, littering the top of her head with soft kisses as he wallowed in his own pitiful state. Embracing the girl he had abandoned and broken, begging for forgiveness as if he deserved anything from her. His apologies fell upon deaf ears as she slept, yet it hadn't deterred him from continuously whispering his pleas to her. 

The only thing that seemed to stop his mantra was Seokmin squeezing his shoulder. 

"Hey Soon," he called out quietly, snapping him out of his daze as he looked up at his friend. "Let's head home. You guys had enough for the day. There's always tomorrow."

Soonyoung nodded, rising to his feet with (y/n) in his arms as Seokmin guided him to her bedroom. Soonyoung spared her one last glance as he laid her there, brushing back her hair and stroking her cheek, taking in her peaceful expression once more before departing. Seokmin was at the entrance with Jihyo already, the two talking to one another in a low voice, as if the tension of before still resided even with (y/n) fast asleep. 

Upon Soonyoung's arrival, their conversation faded into nothing, Seokmin offering the man a gentle smile upon taking in his beaten form. 

"Hey buddy, how are we feeling?" Soonyoung's silence was answer enough, staring at his friend blankly with red eyes and a puffy face. "Ah, that's good, that's good. Like I said, there's always tomorrow. Let's get you home now, yeah?" Seokmin bid Jihyo goodbye with one last nod before heading out the door.

Before Soonyoung could fully walk out the door, his body halted in its spot, standing at the threshold of the apartment with Jihyo staring up at him confusedly. 

"Chaerim," he spoke, voice gravelly from his earlier happenings. "Is she mine?" 

He didn't know what brought this upon him. In any other instance, he'd be horrified at the sudden audacity he obtained to have asked such an illicit question. Yet right now, he was numb. His body ached. His heart felt drained beyond reparation. He felt like nothing. So what was there to lose with such a risky move?

Jihyo was silent for another moment, until she shook her head out of the corner of his eye. 

"No," she stated, voice weak as she looked at the defeated man before her. "No, she's not. I'm sorry."

Soonyoung shut his eyes, nodding at her words before fully walking out, meeting up with Seokmin at the elevator. 

It was an answer he had anticipated, one that was honestly expected, yet somewhere deep in his heart, he had truly thought she was his daughter. That she was the product of his and (y/n)'s love. That he possibly still had a chance with (y/n), as long as that fragment of their relationship still existed in this world. Yet it was all hopeful wishing. 

Even long after Seokmin dropped Soonyoung off at his parent's house, bidding the man goodbye and promising to return tomorrow, the events of the day still weighed heavily upon him. And even after shutting his eyes and going to sleep, the memories of (y/n) tormented him throughout the night. Illusions of what could have been had he chosen her at the end. The happy life he could have had with (y/n) in his arms. Chaerim could have been his. He could have had a daughter as beautiful as her. Yet he had given it all up for a piece of paper.

The last person he had seen that night was Seokmin, and he had also wound up being the first person he saw when he woke up the next morning.

"Soonyoung," he called out, shaking the man's shoulders until he stirred from his slumber. "Time to wake up." 

The aforementioned man did not look his best, to say the least. Eyes completely bloodshot, face puffy beyond recognition, and his usual sanguine demeanor was depleted until he sat there as nothing more than a breathing human. The living embodiment of the contrast between living and surviving. 

Though Seokmin didn't seem too perturbed by his friend's ragged appearance, merely cooing as he patted down the disheveled mane on Soonyoung's head. 

"You ready to get back into the ring today?" His voice was chipper, comparable to that of a kindergarten teacher to their students, yet it had little to no effect on Soonyoung who grumbled in response to his patronizingly toned question. 

Seokmin stood there as Soonyoung dragged his feet about the room, tugging on whatever clothes he could find, brushing his teeth as he combed his hair, attempting to stay awake through Seokmin's droning dialogue in the background. 

"I got everyone's schedule for today. Mingyu and Vernon have the day off. Chan gets off later on today, so he could join us whenever. Seungkwan and Junhui said they couldn't come today because they're working, but Joshua literally has the closing shift and said he'd come around at midnight, so I think they're just not committed enough, you know?

"Jeonghan and Minghao have not responded to me yet, but Jeonghan literally posted on Instagram yesterday, so I know he's ignoring me. Seungcheol and Wonwoo said no for today, but they are available later on this week. Did I forget anybody? I feel like I'm forgetting someone?" 

(y/n). 

He wanted to ask how she was. If she had fared well after last night. How she felt this morning, waking up after such an eventful night. How Chaerim was doing. What the girls were up to this morning. What they'd be doing later on. If (y/n) still wore blue every Wednesday and acted like it wasn't an actual routine of hers because she didn't think anyone would notice. If he could see her again today. 

"Jihoon!" Seokmin snapped his fingers upon realizing, laughing to himself soon after. "Jihoon is busy right now, but he'll join us later."

Their conversation continued once they were in Seokmin's car and driving off.

"So we're going to pick up Mingyu and Vernon and head out for breakfast. At around 12, Jihoon said he'd come join us, so maybe we can take a walk around downtown for old time's sake. At 2, I have to pick up Chaerim and drop her off at Jihyo's, but Chan should–"

"Chaerim?" Soonyoung's eyebrows had risen at the mention of the girl's name, turning to face Seokmin with sudden fascination at the schedule. "You pick up Chaerim from school?"

"Well, from daycare, yeah," Seokmin responded, eyes still trained on the street, but still with that soft grin plastered to his face, the casual air he has when talking about the girl stirring this envious feeling within Soonyoung. "Jihyo gets out of work at 2, but the daycare is pretty out of place on her route home, so I pick up Chaerim and hand her to Jihyo. And then at 5, (y/n) gets out of work and she retrieves the child from Jihyo and they head home." 

Soonyoung sat there enraptured at Seokmin's words, nodding and absorbing everything said as if he himself would need the knowledge in the coming future. Seokmin kept talking afterwards, continuing where he left off regarding Chan's and Josh's arrival before they had finally reached their destination. 

This 24/7 breakfast joint they'd frequent as they grew up, Attacca. They'd eat waffles there as a child with their families, eat waffles after school while procrastinating on doing their homework, eat waffles on snow days when they had nothing better to do, eat waffles at 2 am after late night parties at each other's houses. And even now as the four of them sat together to catch up, they ate those exact same waffles. 

"You still have the high score on Galaga?" Soonyoung gaped as Vernon nodded cockily, leaning back against the chipped leather of the booth they sat at, arms raised triumphantly while he basked in the glory of his achievements. 

"The undefeated champion still reigns to this day." Vernon began waving to his imaginary fans, blowing kisses and posing for photos as Mingyu grimaced at the overplayed fantasy happening before him. 

"He goes to that same rundown laundromat every month to make sure he hasn't been bested, as if kids are even still going there." Soonyoung chuckled at Mingyu's words, which had supposedly gone over Vernon's head as he continued to fantasize about the glories of victory, muttering to himself about how he would love to accept Oprah's invitation to her show. "Though on the less pathetic side of things, my restaurant is doing very well."

"I can't believe you actually own a restaurant." Soonyoung took a sip from his chocolate milk, humming in amusement at the thought of Chef Mingyu. "That's insane. Congrats, man." 

"Thank you very much."

"Yeah, Mingyu said he'd serve us for free next time we go," Seokmin quickly added, earning a kick under the table from Mingyu himself. 

"Wait, is Mingyu finally feeding us for free?" Vernon asked, mouth agape as he finally snapped out of whatever trance he had propelled himself into minutes earlier. 

"No, Mingyu is not feeding you freeloaders." Mingyu elbowed Vernon as he spoke, glaring at the group before him with disgust. "You get discounts at most, but I'd go bankrupt if you all came to my restaurant for free." 

"You hear that, boys, dinner at Mingyu's tonight." Seokmin tossed his hand forward, immediately receiving a high five from Vernon on command as the two continued to goad Mingyu. With a roll of his eyes, he redirected his attention to Soonyoung, offering the man an excited smile. 

"So, Soonyoung, what's up with you? Six years on your own, new degree, job offer. You've got so much going on for you!"

"Thanks." Soonyoung smiled, stirring his straw in his drink absentmindedly as his eyes lowered to the table's surface. "I'll be off again in a few weeks presumably. For that job offer."

"I don't know if this is dumb of me to ask, but what does an engineer do?" Vernon questioned, shoveling another load of waffle into his mouth.

Soonyoung pouted as he thought about the question, because to be fair, he doesn't even know what his job will entail. Six years in college. He's learned his way around a computer. He knows how to fix things now. That's pretty much all he can say, because to be honest, he doesn't know what awaits him in the future. He doesn't know what finally entering the field of his career entails for him. He doesn't know if it'll be what he had anticipated out of such an intensive career. If it'll prove the regrets that stir within him wrong, prove that it was worth leaving everything behind to pursue. 

Suddenly, Chaerim and (y/n) came to mind. A little glimpse of them together popped into his head, (y/n) chiding her daughter who had just planted a kiss onto his nose. With those two girls remaining in his mind, he was beginning to seriously doubt that last presumption of his.

Because no amount of money in the world could possibly top the exhilarating feeling that settled at the base of his heart when he was with them both yesterday. 

"I don't know," Soonyoung announced, rather proudly regarding the circumstances, causing the lot to burst into laughter at his own confusion. 

"Well, hopefully it comes easy to you," Mingyu spoke, bringing his coffee mug up to his lips for a sip. "Who would have thought the tech challenged Soonyoung would become a software engineer of all things."

"I wasn't that bad."

"You typed like a grandma after her fifth shot of tequila," Vernon interjected with a shake of his head. "We all know (y/n) was the one who had prepared all of your presentations for you." 

Soonyoung nervously chuckled at the mention of her name. His technical ex girlfriend, as painful as it sounded. And as true as that was, so was Vernon's statement. 

They'd be lying on his bed, her laptop in between them as she helped organize his notes and points on one PowerPoint. She'd type away, showing him different things the program offered, putting in her own input on designing, and he'd merely sit there and listen, head tucked away in the nook of her neck as he dozed off to her gentle voice. He'd fall asleep while she worked, and she'd wake him up by littering kisses all over his face. He'd rehearse his presentation for her alongside the PowerPoint, just to show how her work would not be going to waste. She'd applaud him, congratulating him even though he had done the bare minimum, but it felt good nevertheless. To be doted upon by the girl he loves the most, falling asleep in her arms the night before his project, that good luck kiss before he'd enter class that he swore was the key to his passing grades. 

Soonyoung would wait for (y/n) after class to tell her how it went, and the smile she'd bless him with was like the cherry on top of it all. This big, gorgeous smile that was so bright and happy for him and him alone. 

As if punishment upon him, for even daring to derive even a shred of happiness from a past memory, the blissful image of (y/n)'s smile had been torn away from him, instead replaced by one of their last moments together. 

It was in his room as he was packing away his clothes for college. (y/n) sat on his bed, folding whatever she could and neatly organizing it into his luggage whilst filling the quietude with her thoughts. 

Though Soonyoung couldn't really recall much of what she was saying that day. He was too into his own head. He was too distracted by his own thoughts plaguing his psyche. Thoughts that he had initially written off as intrusive ones that would soon fade away, though they remained recurrent, sprouting forth practically every moment he spent with (y/n) until every waking second of his life revolved around those thoughts and those thoughts alone. 

(y/n) managed to snap him back into reality as she began directing her voice towards him. 

"You'll have to text me when you get situated over there!" She gushed, far more excited for him than he was for himself. "I mean, you'll text me when you get there of course, but you have to text me when everything's settled and you have some spare time. I can fly over and meet you." She slipped off his bed, shuffling over to him and wrapping him in a hug. Soonyoung naturally reciprocated it, arms embracing her against him, relishing in the warmth and comfort that came with holding her. That keen familiarity that he'd never grow weary of no matter the distance or the time which passed. But even so, even with her presence serving as an anchor for him, his mind was elsewhere, drifting far from reason and compiling what he could only describe as utter nonsense now. 

"(y/n)," he muttered aloud, somehow hoping she wouldn't hear him even though he spoke right by her ear. She hummed, cursing him into finishing what he had started. "How do you feel about all of this?" 

"About what? College?" He hesitantly pulled away from her, arms loosely holding her as he took in her appearance once more, as if needing the momentary motivation to continue with whatever he was doing. 

"About me going to college. About me leaving everything behind." His eyes flickered about her face, tension settling in his eyebrows as his emotions were already beginning to seep through his facade. "About me leaving you behind."

"That's a weird way of putting it," she laughed dismissively at his words, though still hummed in thought. "I feel… conflicted." His arms strained for a second, briefly gripping onto (y/n) as she paused for consideration. "Of course I'd love to have you with me or me with you, but we can't. At least not right now." She tilted her head with a pout forming on her lips before she smiled resolutely. "Life has other things planned for us right now. You're off to do great things, to study and get a career like you always wanted, and I'll be here, finding some sort of stability like I've always wanted.

"But that's okay," she tugged him along with her to the bed, seating him on the edge and cozying herself against him, head resting on his shoulder with her arms draped over him. "Because we'll always be here supporting one another. I'll be right here when you're ready to come back." 

He hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt a tear brush past his lip, her words being the nail in the coffin for those incessant anxieties that had tormented him for weeks now. 

"(y/n), I think we should break up." 

The words felt like poison in his mouth, churning his stomach until it was wrought with absolute disgust. There was a conflict in his body, one that had him beating himself for having even uttered said cursed words, but it was too late. He had spoken his thoughts. 

(y/n) had stiffened in his arms, silent as Soonyoung battled with himself, but then she slowly pulled away from him. Her eyes were blank at first, face stoic whilst analyzing his expression for any sign of humor or any indication that what he said was merely a cruel joke. But it wasn't. 

"Soonyoung, what are you trying to do? Talk to me before making such a large decision like that on your own." Even at such a young age, she was so mature. It was something he had always admired about her. How level headed she was, how calm and patient she became whenever he was off his hinges. She continued to show that maturity of hers, concealing whatever emotions she may be feeling and instead waiting for Soonyoung to calm down enough to talk. 

"I…" He had begun, eyes straying to his lap when he felt his words get caught in his throat, his body quaking with an incoming sob, though quickly collecting himself, clearing his throat of any obstruction and continuing. "You have been the light of my life for as long as I can remember. I've loved you for longer than I could even talk. You are the love of my life, and that's very clear to see." He paused, gathering his thoughts once more. (y/n) remained where she sat, hands having slid down to his biceps where they tentatively rested. "And all I've ever wanted was your happiness… But I think I will become that obstacle for you. I will be the thing preventing you from being happy."

"Why would you ever say that about yourself, Soonyoung?" She cupped his face, bringing his gaze back to her intimidatingly serious one. "You can't be in the way of my happiness if you are my happiness."

"(y/n), we've never been away from each other for even a day." Soonyoung all but wept, eyes blurring with tears as he laughed incredulously at his own statement. School field trips, family road trips, even girl scout camping included them both, Soonyoung somehow getting away with disguising as his sister when they were all children. "I don't think we'll be able to make it long distance."

"Who says we can't?"

"I do." His voice was broken, as was the rest of him, barely able to hold himself where he sat. (y/n) was quiet for a moment, in complete shock of what was happening in front of her. 

"Why are you so confident we can't do long distance? Sure, we've never been apart, but who's to say we can't survive away from each other? Soonyoung…" Yet again, (y/n) found herself redirecting his attention back to her, making sure he could see the absolute resolve in her eyes. "I love you. And I know you love me just as much. Isn't that enough reassurance?" 

Soonyoung could see how serious she was. He could see how much she was holding back, wanting to also burst into tears alongside him at such a scary moment in their lives, but even so, he had his mind settled. 

"No, it's not." She flinched at his words, her hands suddenly pulled away from him as if his skin were fire. She was taken aback, eyes wavering as Soonyoung began rubbing away his tears. 

"Why are you acting this way? You're not even giving us a chance. You're acting as if everything we've built together was for nothing. As if all those years together were just child's play when you literally mean the world to me." 

"(y/n), I love you," he interjected, shutting his eyes and taking a deep, final breath. "I love so much. You are everything to me. And I know I can't live without you. But I can't bear to see you lose yourself to a long distance relationship like this."

"Soonyoung–"

"You deserve a fulfilling and present love. A love that you won't have to struggle with time differences just to video call, a love where you don't have to be decided over homework, a love that's just as invigorating and perfect as you, and I'm no longer a viable option." 

He didn't know what had done it—which of his words had finally broken her fortitude, but before he knew it, he heard sniffling beside him, and when he finally met her gaze again, there were tears running down her face, lips downturned whilst staring back at him in disappointment. 

"Who even are you anymore?" He stayed quiet at her question, not really knowing how to even answer this if he had wanted to. Physically, he was still Soonyoung, but so much had happened in such a short duration of time that he felt like his soul lay dormant deep within him. He didn't know what entity of sorts took over that compelled him to act in such a way and feel these doubts he's never felt before, but there was no changing him at this point. 

And within seconds, this strong, independent girl Soonyoung had grown to love with all of his heart had deteriorated with defeat. She pulled her hands away from his in lieu of shielding her face, leaving cold pockets on his body from where her touch had once resided. He felt a stab at his heart as she silently wept to herself, a sight he rarely if ever saw from her. And to know that he was the reason she was like this killed him inside.

Yet even so, he still didn't take back his words. He didn't apologize for destroying their relationship so heartlessly. He just sat there, watching her, knowing this would be the last image of her he'd see before flying the next morning.

And as greedy as it was—as absolutely cold and insensitive as it was for him to do—he slid closer to her, hands hovering over her wrists for a second more, as if giving himself one more chance to stop, but it seemed as if his body had now begun running on autopilot. Latching onto her hands, he gently tugged them away from her face, cupping her cheeks so as to have her looking at him. 

She was crushed, tears an endless stream of moisture seeping from her now reddened eyes, facial muscles contorted with sadness. It was a sight that absolutely destroyed Soonyoung, yet still it was undeniable in his mind: she was as beautiful as she had always been and always would be.

Perhaps it was with that thought, that subtle reminder that he truly did and always would love her for who she was, that compelled him to lean forward, pressing his lips onto hers one last time, as if one last proclamation of his eternal love for her. His eyes had shut, tears slipping away from him as he brought her closer to him, pouring out every ounce of affection he could, hoping that what his words failed to convey, his kiss would translate—show her that somewhere in him, Soonyoung still resided; that she hadn't lost him entirely yet. 

She had kissed him back, hands threading through his hair and pulling him closer, afraid that if she had let go, he'd disappear from her forever. 

And her fears had proven true. After that last night together, tangled in each other's limbs, their final moments expressing their love for one another, he had left, leaving behind a kiss on her forehead and his heart now in her hands as he flew across the country, an emotionless void as he pursued what he thought he'd always wanted. 

His demeanor had changed greatly during breakfast, something Seokmin had noticed almost immediately. The boys agreed to meet up later when the others were available, agreeing to hit up some places around the city together. Seokmin was driving Soonyoung home for the time being, refraining from mentioning his solemn expression as he sat in the passenger's seat quietly. The man had too many thoughts running through his mind at all times. It was something that Soonyoung had always dealt with. They'd be talking about one thing, and within a second, Soonyoung would have changed the route of their conversation because he suddenly remembered something. Though now rather than his silly little conversational segues growing up, his thoughts seemed a dark place that no one would want to venture into. Seokmin just hoped that their friends would be able to distract him some later tonight. 

Once they pulled into the driveway of Soonyoung's parent's house, they both stepped out of the vehicle, making their way to the entrance until Seokmin's phone began ringing. 

"Hello?" He swiftly answered as Soonyoung fished for his keys. "What? Wait– hold on– Grandma, I– Slow down for a second, slow down. Are you okay? Are you hurt at all?" Soonyoung turned around, eyes widening in shock as he looked at a very concerned and confused Seokmin. "Okay, I'll be right there. Just stay put." 

"What happened?" 

"She got into a car accident. She said it's a minor one, but still." 

"Of course, I understand, go over there," Soonyoung insisted, already ushering Seokmin over to his car. 

"Wait, Soonyoung, wait." They both stopped for a moment, facing each other with equally troubled expressions. "It's almost 2 o'clock." Soonyoung's mouth dropped immediately, hand resting on his forehead as he began to truly process Seokmin's plight. 

"Chaerim…" 

"I know it's a lot to ask of you, but could you pick her up for me?" Seokmin asked, already unlocking his car as he waited for Soonyoung's answer, which came seconds later in vigorous nods. It brought a small smile to his face, seeing some form of life once more in his friend's eyes. "Great, thank you so much, dude. I'll text you the address. I owe you big time."

Once Seokmin had left, Soonyoung immediately rushed into the house to grab his keys before driving off. He must've broken quite a few traffic laws considering he made it to the store, bought a car seat, and installed it, all with just minutes to spare before 2.

He double checked the booster seat once more, shaking it around to ensure it was latched on safely, before he backed away with a huff, turning his attention to her daycare he was parked in front of. 

A quaint little location with trees and flowers littered around the front, a sign of alternating primary colors reading 'Little Sun Daycare' under a rainbow arch with clouds on either side. From where he stood, he could see a large, open backyard with all the things to occupy a child's attention span. Though it was barren, so he knew they were all likely nestled away safely inside. 

He rubbed his suddenly sweaty palms on the front of his jeans before pulling the door open, wincing at the loud chime over his head once he saw what he had walked into. About a dozen or so children, all scattered across the floor with blankets and pillows as a faint lullaby played on loop behind them. He stood there awkwardly, frozen in place with his eyes darting from each and every child, checking to see if any stirred, though luckily it seemed he'd gotten away with it. 

Another moment passed before a lady came around the corner, steps light and casual like the seasoned caregiver she most likely was. She was older with brown hair pulled into a bun, a few wiry gray strands sticking to and fro from what must've been an already strenuous day with the children. She offered Soonyoung a gentle smile, revealing wrinkles that curved with her face, as if showing how often they formed due to her frequent grins and happiness. 

"Hello," Soonyoung whispered, practically tiptoeing closer to her out of fear of making any more noise. "I'm sorry for… that." He gestured grandly to the bell behind him. She snickered, waving her hand dismissively to him. 

"It's alright, dear, these kids can usually sleep through a stampede." Her voice was low, though definitely not as quiet as Soonyoung had been, and he found himself quickly adapting to her volume levels as she went behind the front desk. "Pick-up?"

"Oh… Yes, I'm here for pick-up." He nodded at her words, somewhat surprised at how quickly she had deduced his reason for coming. She handed him a clipboard of names, presumably that of the kids, before she left to go into the room of napping children.

His eyes scanned the list before settling on Chaerim's. There were two boxes in her row, one for drop off and one for pick-up. (y/n)'s name was already signed in one, and Soonyoung needed a moment to collect himself, gaze now focused on her signature. It was silly of him to feel so affected by mere writing, especially when he had written his name next to hers on the pick-up column. It had the same satisfaction as when he'd write his name with her last name growing up, long before he had the bravery to ask her out and he was merely dealing with a crush that rotted his brain away.

Chaerim. (y/n). Soonyoung. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a little voice calling out to him.

"Soonie?" He turned around, heart swelling as he saw a tired Chaerim rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her face was puffy, hair in complete disarray, but she looked absolutely adorable to him. He crouched to his knees with a smile on his face, and that was supposedly enough of a boost for the girl to all but launch herself into his hold, tiny arms thrown around his neck as she buried her face into his shoulder. A warmth spread through his body as he cradled her against him, standing to his full height before facing the woman again. 

"She had almost an hour-long nap. Snack time was just before naptime, so she may be hungry. And she was praised today for sharing toys with the other kids." Soonyoung chuckled at this, patting her back approvingly as she refused to stray from where she nestled herself into him. 

"Thank you so much," he responded to her, backing away towards the door as he waved goodbye to her. 

"Of course. It's lovely to finally meet you!" The words hadn't really hit him until the door had closed behind them. Then he, had stood there frozen for another moment, eyes widened when he processed both her implication and how she had wordlessly gone to retrieve Chaerim. He bit back a smile, continuing his trek to his car as he greeted the little girl in his arms. 

"Are you surprised?" He felt her nod against him. 

"Yeah," she mumbled into his shirt. "Because usually it's Uncle Seokmin who picks me up. But today, it was Soonie." His cheeks were already hurting from smiling and he hadn't even gotten into the car yet.

"I like the name you've given me," he replied to her as he strapped the little girl into her seat, shaking her around a bit to check again for stability purposes, earning a few bubbly giggles from her before he slipped into the driver's seat. 

"Are we going to Aunt Jihyo's? Uncle Seokmin usually takes me to Aunt Jihyo's afterwards. And then Aunt Jihyo and I play games and watch movies until mommy comes." Soonyoung hummed happily at her babbling in the background, refreshing his chat with Seokmin where he had only sent him the address to the daycare. Soonyoung sent a second text out, even though his other one hadn't been read yet. He knew it'd be a stretch asking Chaerim for directions, so with a shake of his head, he began backing out of the parking lot. 

"I was actually thinking we could hang, you and me. How does that sound?"

"Yeah!" She hollered loudly, all that drowsiness she had before dissipating as she kicked her legs excitedly. 

To be fair, if he weren't driving, he'd also probably be kicking his legs around, the thought of spending time with Chaerim just as exciting of an idea to him as it was to her, and he hadn't even had a full conversation with the girl on his own. It just comes to show how invigorating of a person she was at such a young age already. Just as entrancing as her mother.

It was almost by nature that he had navigated them to the park. It was a quaint area filled with lush trees and winding cobbled paths. At the center of it all was a lake where many visitors would fish or feed the wildlife, and that main walkway encircled the body of water, a route many morning joggers would wind up taking.

Their town wasn't necessarily small, but it also wasn't a grand city with a variety of things to do and places to visit; as such, the park was a sight he and his friends had frequented often whilst growing up together. He remembers learning to skip stones with Minghao at the lake, climbing around the playground with Mingyu and Seokmin as if it were an obstacle course where they couldn't touch the floor, playing manhunt with everyone in the middle of the night. Asking out (y/n) as the sun was setting behind them. It was a place he held near and dear to his heart, and something in him wanted to create even more memories now with Chaerim by his side. 

The girl seemed perhaps even more excited than he was, if that were even possible, already preemptively pressing the red button of her car seat and freeing herself from her restraints. Though she sat there anyways, waiting for Soonyoung to turn off the car and take her out of her seat himself. 

With her little hand wrapped around two of his fingers, they strolled through the park together, Soonyoung letting her ramble away to her heart's content. 

"You should be happy I named you Soonie," she called out to him from where she walked below. He hummed in acknowledgement at this, a confused yet amused smile crossing his face as she continued speaking. "Uncle Seokmin keeps asking me to change his name, but I don't want to."

"Why not? A nickname would be much shorter than Uncle Seokmin."

"What's a nickname?"

"It's when you shorten the person's name. You call me Soonie instead of Soonyoung. Soonie is a nickname."

"Why can't it be your real name?"

"It could if I legally change it."

"Change it."

"Maybe some other day," Soonyoung laughed at her insistence, gazing down at her fondly. How lucky you would have had to been to be blessed with Chaerim's presence on a daily basis. It was a relieving thought to know that three of the most trustworthy people he could name were her guardians.

Jihyo, who had been with (y/n) for years to come. A friend that was one in a million. Someone who stood the test of time, never once straying from (y/n) throughout the duration of their friendship.

He remembers when he had gotten into a fight on (y/n)'s behalf, having heard a guy talking crassly about her. It was Jihyo who had yanked Soonyoung off the guy, urging him to rethink his decision. The last thing (y/n) would want out of this was her boyfriend to be suspended for fighting this jerk. But when the guy continued with his vulgar language regarding (y/n), Jihyo had performed quite possibly the most impressive elbow drop ever seen, landing them both into weeks of detention together. 

It was a silly thing to bond over, but nonetheless had sealed a sort of unspoken friendship that neither of them had expected. 

Then there was Seokmin, one of his best friends since elementary school—and still claiming that title today. 

He was inherently kindhearted, accepting of anyone no matter their circumstances. Soonyoung berated him at times for putting others before himself too often, though it seemed like it didn't affect Seokmin in the slightest. As if he derived all of his enjoyment from helping others, both a selfless but also selfish matter as he did think of others, but he mostly did it because it brought himself joy. Still a saint if there ever was one, and from what he's heard thus far regarding his participation in Chaerim and (y/n)'s life, this still proved true. 

Then there was (y/n). Were there even words to describe how perfect (y/n) was? How sweet and caring and loving she is. Warm and doting with kisses that can heal any ailment, physical or emotional. Thoughtful and patient and compassionate. Soonyoung had brought the passion in their relationship, the whimsy that made love so worthwhile and memorable. Yet she was the stability in their relationship, able to ground Soonyoung when he grew too rambunctious, quell any argument that would surface between them, balance the energy Soonyoung evoked with her own tranquility. 

There was no better person to mother such an adoring child as Chaerim. No better person to be raised by with such love and tenderness. There was no person like (y/n), nor would there ever be. 

"Why is it called nickname?" Chaerim suddenly chimed in, catching Soonyoung off guard who just spoke the first thing in his mind, in a feeble attempt to impress the young girl with his nonexistent knowledge. 

"Nick is the shortened version of Nicholas." His eyes had widened comically at his words, impressed by how the reasoning seemed to fit the context, yet also dumbfounded by how idiotic he was. Chaerim didn't seem to be affected by his nonsense. 

"So Soonyoung is your Nicholasname?" 

"Yes." He could already sense another question on the tip of the inquisitive girl's tongue, and Soonyoung couldn't find it in himself to lie to her again. "Oh, look at that!" He threw his hand up with a gasp leaving his mouth, pointing to the ice cream truck just off the edge of the path they walked on. While he seemed excited, Chaerim was otherwise unimpressed, drawing nearer to him as they stopped in their path. 

"I'm not allowed to have ice cream," she explained, to which Soonyoung gaped at her response, almost immediately crouching to her level in shock. 

"Why not? Is it something about spoiling your dinner?" She hummed at his question, needing a moment to herself to think of her words. 

"Mommy says I can't. She says I lack toes in taller ants." Soonyoung blinked in wonder at this, in complete and utter confusion at what she was getting at. Lack toes in taller ants. Lack toes. In taller ants. 

"Lack toes… Lactose intolerant." His voice was barely above a whisper, both hesitant of his conclusion, but also fearful for the answer—on whether she truly is lactose intolerant.

She nodded. 

His breathing was shaky, nerves alight as he nodded at her response. His heart felt like it had seized in his chest for a moment, yet even with the internal panic setting in, he still felt a smile twitching at his lips. 

"Well, lucky for you, this ice cream truck has ice cream you can eat." Her eyes widened, a wide toothy grin setting in. 

"Really?"

"Yeah. And you can trust me on this. I'm also lactose intolerant." She laughed in absolute wonderment, allowing him to scoop her up and take her to the ice cream truck he used to visit as a child himself.

Ordering the ice cream felt sort of like a fever dream as he was still processing the newfound information. The coincidences were becoming far too frequent for him to ignore. Chaerim's undeniable resemblance to him that has even stumped people outside their circumstances. Chaerim's genetic lactose intolerance that she had to have gotten from someone other than (y/n). Even now as they ate their sorbets, they had similar tastes. 

"I don't like this," Chaerim said, sticking out her tongue in disgust. 

"Then why'd you ask for it?"

"Mommy says I like peaches." Soonyoung chuckled at this, glancing down at his strawberry sorbet one last time before extending it to the girl seated beside him.

"Here, try mine." She leant forward, biting into the pink dome of sweetness before humming in delight and nodding. Gone was his strawberry, now eating her peach one—which he also didn't really like all that much. 

She was cozied up into his side, all but devouring her strawberry treat while Soonyoung soaked in the moment. He memorized the way the sun beat down upon them, how the cool breeze passed by and chilled the perspiration settling on their faces. The feeling of fulfillment gripping at his heart just from being with Chaerim, feeling her so close to his side, taking in the radiance she emitted, her happiness that he had managed to instill in her. It was an emotion he never thought existed, but now couldn't get enough. Something only she seemed to awaken in him, and something he'd quite possibly never grow weary of. 

"DK," She shouted enthusiastically all of the sudden, startling Soonyoung some out of his thoughts. 

"What's DK?"

"Uncle Seokmin." 

"How'd you come up with that?"

"It's the letters in his name. Seok and Min." 

"That's not… There's no… Okay." She giggled at him, causing him to laugh along with her. Her head pressed into the side of his chest, right along where his heart seemed to beat more obviously by the moment. It was such a perfect moment, and Soonyoung's delusions seemed to continuously feed into that delight, yet something in him nagged incessantly, a voice that seemed to call upon his downfall as his mouth opened. "Chaerim… How old are you?"

"I'm turning 4." She proudly raised up four fingers into Soonyoung's sight, and his heart all but shattered alongside the fantasy that had been concocted in his head at the moment.

She was 3. Far too young to have been his child. 

He didn't understand. There was so much that said otherwise. So many signs that supported his beliefs. So many reasons to prove that she was his daughter. It confused him. It left his heart in fractures. It had this numb feeling quickly settling in, reminding him that he was nothing. That he was delusional to have even thought for a moment Chaerim was his. That he had even the slightest chance of reconnecting with (y/n). That he could ever possibly get this dream life that he had abandoned on his own. 

"Soonie, I like ice cream. Can we get more later?" He bit his lip, blinking away the tears that threatened to surface and began nodding his head. A grin settled over his face at Chaerim's request, sighing in relief as he was forced back into reality. The reality that although he wasn't her father, he still very much so loved this little girl, and nothing could change that. 

"Of course, sunshine," he cooed, fingers combing through the thin strands of her jet black hair. "We'll have to get permission from your mommy first. I'm not even sure if I was allowed to do this much." 

"And when mommy says yes, we can all get ice cream together." Soonyoung's heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of (y/n), but his mind blanked upon the insinuation of her joining them. The three of them all together, spending a day in the park eating ice cream like a little family. 

His perfect little family. 

"Yeah. We'll do just that."

"Pinky promise?" She held out her hand to him, pinky jutted out expectantly as she looked up at him. 

"Pinky promise." He linked his pinky with hers, earning more of her pleased giggles that soothed away all of his anxieties. 

Time passed by quickly, and soon Soonyoung was waiting at (y/n)'s door, seated on the ground as Chaerim continued talking to him. The elevator they had used to arrive at the apartment chimed, and out rushed a panicked (y/n), eyes manic as she zeroed in on her daughter. 

"Mommy!" Chaerim called out, rushing over to the woman who dropped to her knees, a sigh of relief puffing out of her as she finally had her daughter back in her arms. 

"My baby, thank heavens you're alright." Soonyoung smiled fondly at the sight, taking another moment to watch the two before he rose to his feet, garnering (y/n)'s attention. 

"I'm sorry. I would've called you about the change in plans, but I basically only had Seokmin's number, and Seokmin was preoccupied." She nodded, also standing up with him, Chaerim wrapped in her arms. 

"I understand," she responded, heading over to her front door. "Could you get my keys out of my bag?" 

Soonyoung automatically obeyed, fishing out her keys in mere seconds as he unlocked the door for the two. He followed close behind, slipping her bag off her shoulder and allowing her to peacefully reconvene with her daughter in the living room, cradling the young girl for a few more minutes to herself. 

"Mommy, Soonie picked me up today!"

"I know, that's so fun, isn't it?"

"Yeah! DK was busy, so Soonie came."

"DK?"

"And then we went to the park!" Soonyoung snorted as Chaerim completely ignored (y/n)'s confusion, leaning against the wall and watching (y/n) struggle to keep up with her daughter. "We went to the park and we had ice cream!"

"Ice cream?" She turned to look at Soonyoung, a hint of confusion, but upon seeing him mouth 'sorbet', she nodded in understanding, smiling as she returned to her daughter. "That's exciting! Was it yummy?"

"No!" Chaerim proclaimed proudly, (y/n)'s jaw dropping at the rollercoaster of a conversation happening. "I had peach ice cream first."

"You don't like peaches." Soonyoung had to hold back his laugh, chest quaking with contained cackles, remembering how confidently Chaerim had explained her mom telling her she liked peaches. Though that laughter dissipated, quickly replaced with betrayal as Chaerim continued. 

"Soonie said I liked peaches." While Soonyoung was about to defend his position, (y/n) merely nodded, already accustomed to Chaerim's inconsistencies as a toddler. "But he gave me his strawberry, and it was really yummy!" 

"You swapped ice creams?" (y/n) asked, gaze returning to Soonyoung, a ghost of a smile on her lips with that familiar glint of fondness returning to her eyes, a sight that Soonyoung couldn't recall the last time seeing, and it had him shaken to his core right at that moment, stomach twisting in knots and heart pounding against his chest as the emotions swirling in him seemed to awaken from their hibernation. 

"Yeah we did! We can swap again next time with you!" (y/n) drifted her attention back to Chaerim, that fleeting tender gaze dissipating, soon replaced by confusion once more. 

"What?" 

"Soonie and I want you to eat ice cream with us!"

She didn't look back at Soonyoung, merely nodding in agreement and faintly smiling. 

"Of course, sweetheart. I'll join you guys next time." Before Chaerim could offer her pinky as she did him, (y/n) stood from the couch. "Soonie has to go now though! Go ahead and say goodbye!" 

(y/n) was already walking away as her daughter whined in protest, darting over to where Soonyoung resided and clinging to his legs. 

"Soonie, don't go!"

God, he didn't want to. It was the last thing on his mind, especially when he met her glassy eyed stare, a pleading gaze begging him not to leave her. His heart was too weak for this, but he knew he couldn't disobey (y/n)'s decree, and he begrudgingly lowered to his knees, gathering Chaerim in his arms for one last hug. 

"It's alright, sunshine. There's always another day. I made a promise, didn't I?" With one last squeeze, he pulled away, making sure he looked at her with the most unwaveringly resolute expression he could muster. "And I never break my promises." 

She giggled and nodded, hugging him again before running off to her room, leaving (y/n) and him alone at the foyer. 

"I'm really sorry about today," Soonyoung began, quick to break the silence before it grew to be too tense. "Seokmin had that issue with his grandmother, and he forgot to text me Jihyo's address–"

"It's okay, Soonyoung. Really." Her voice was soft as she cut him off, hand raised to silence him. "I should be thanking you, to be honest. This is probably the most fun she's had in a long time." 

"No need to thank me at all." Soonyoung gave a subtle laugh, looking down at his feet bashfully. "Chaerim is the sweetest little girl out there. I had a very good day with her." 

(y/n) smiled at this, nodding at his words before turning to begin making dinner. 

"I'm glad. She seems to really like you." She hesitated for a moment, causing mid sentence. "Thank you… for giving her your time of day. It really means a lot to us."

"(y/n)..." He knew where her words came from. He could hear it in her tone. The pain. The betrayal. The wounds still fresh from when he had left her that morning. Left her to wake up on her own to an empty bed and no other word from him. Completely and utterly alone. He knew what he had done, and while he regretted it with every fiber of his being, he still stood there, contemplating what he could possibly say to someone he had left behind years and years ago. Because no matter how much he regrets his actions, he can never take it back. "I'm sorry… I know it doesn't make up for anything, but truly, I'm genuinely, desperately sorry."

Her eyes were focused on the granite of her countertop, hands shaking while clenched together on the surface. She was holding so much in, and it killed Soonyoung. Knowing he had left her this way. That he reduced her to this state.

"It's fine. It's in the past." Her voice was steady and calm, a contrast to her physical appearance where she seemed to be barely holding herself up. But in typical (y/n) fashion, she looked up at him, all emotion stowed away as she greeted him with that professional facade of hers; the one that she used on everyone to hide how she truly felt. The facade that she had never once directed to him because he could see right through it every time. And it hurt. Seeing how she couldn't even bear to share even a fragment of emotion to him anymore, as if last night's crying fest between the two was for nothing. He hated it. Indifference felt even colder than the sting of hatred. He'd much rather have preferred she loathed him to the depths of his soul, yet she just waved it off, smiling and making her way around him and to her door. "New era, new me. There's no use in holding grudges or holding on to the past. I appreciate everything you've done for Chaerim today. But I'm sure she's taken up quite a bit of your day, and I wouldn't want to waste anymore of your time."

The door was wide open before Soonyoung could even get a say in, and he unwillingly walked out of the apartment, steps slow and dragging as he passed by (y/n) avoiding his stare by focusing on the floor beneath them. 

"I…" Soonyoung spoke as he passed the threshold of their home, turning around before (y/n) could start closing the door. She looked up at him, brows furrowed together warily at what he could possibly want. "Can I… take Chaerim out some days while I'm here?" Her mouth fell open, but nothing came out, merely shocked to hear Soonyoung's preposition. "I don't have any plans this month, and I really did enjoy my time with her. And I'll take good care of her. That is, only if we have your permission, of course." 

"I'll… I'll have to see how she feels about this. You know, since it's also her opinion on the matter."

"Of course." Soonyoung hesitated for a moment, biting his lip in thought, but he urged himself to push forward. "Can I… give you my number? So we can stay in contact about… Chaerim?" 

"Soonyoung…" She was tongue-tied to say the least, fumbling over noncommittal words and syllables, trying to get herself out of this situation, but to no avail. It brought a smile to his face as she pulled out her phone and handed it to him, because he did have a point. As a mother, she wouldn't want what happened today to happen again. Yes, Soonyoung was playing on her natural maternal instincts, but he meant well nevertheless. 

With their numbers exchanged, she bid him farewell, thanking him one last time before allowing the door to fall closed behind her. And Soonyoung walked out of that apartment building triumphantly, pleased with himself and how his day had gone. His heart felt more full than it ever had before, all because he had the knowledge of (y/n)'s number stored into his phone. It was a silly thing, but something that had him beaming to himself as he took a moment to stare at her contact in his car. He felt like a schoolboy all over again, gushing about his crush who had given him the bare minimum, but God did the bare minimum feel like everything he's ever wanted in life. 

He was snapped out of his revelry with his phone vibrating in hand, Seokmin's contact taking over his screen with an incoming call. 

"Hello?" Soonyoung answered. 

"Soonyoung, hey! It's Seokmin. I just wanted to check up on how everything's going. My grandma got checked up, she just has a few bruises that should clear up in a few weeks. Car doesn't look too good, but at least she's fine."

"That's great!" Soonyoung sighed for his friend, smiling at the good news. "I'm glad to hear everything is okay. As for me, today went well. I picked up Chaerim and took her to the park. We had some sorbets together, walked around a bit, and I just finished dropping her off at (y/n)'s." 

"Awesome, I seriously owe you, dude."

"No, you don't." Soonyoung's eyes glanced up to (y/n)'s floor, comfortingly smiling at whatever the girls could be up to at this time. "I honestly owe you, if we're being honest."

"Ah, you see what I mean?" Seokmin spoke in a teasing manner, and Soonyoung could already envision the shit eating grin across his friend's face. "Isn't she the sweetest thing ever. I love hanging out with her." 

"I do, too," Soonyoung confessed, eyes slowly moving down from the apartment building, naturally landing on his rearview mirror with a clear image of Chaerim's now empty booster seat. "Listen, Seokmin, I have a… serious question to ask you." 

"Shoot, what's up?"

"Who's Chaerim's father?" 

The line was dead silent with only the natural buzz of feedback to greet his ears. His hand clenched at the wheel, waiting for Seokmin's words which seemed to be far too delayed for his taste. As if this silence would stretch on for another eon with Soonyoung wasting away, waiting in anticipation for his answer, only hoping it's the one he wants. 

"I don't know," Seokmin responded, his tone growing grave with his words. "I'm not sure… But I mean, Jihyo is basically her dad. We like to joke around that she's more of a dad than an aunt to the girl, you know what I mean?" Soonyoung pursed his lips, easily seeing how Seokmin redirected the conversation. But he didn't dwell on that, nodding to himself at his friend's excuse of an answer. 

"Yeah, I get you. Jihyo is a real one." 

"I actually have to go and deal with her now, because I had like 20 missed calls from her and I called you first to delay the inevitable when I have to call her back." Soonyoung expelled some air from his nose in a soft, breathy laugh. 

"I wish you luck, my friend." 

"Thank you, I'll be needing it. I'll pick you up at 8 tonight. Sounds good?"

"Sounds good to me."

Soonyoung may have drank too much last night. And he may have woken up with a hangover so bad that even laying on his pillow had his head pounding. All of this may hold true, but none of it stopped Soonyoung from downing some painkillers and heading out to the daycare, far too excited to even consider the pain throbbing at his skull. Because through all of the agony he had woken to, there was one shining light at the end of the dim tunnel; a text from (y/n), saying that both she and Chaerim had consented to him picking her up and spending the day with her. 

He was lucky that the other guys were just as drunk as him, Seokmin not even reading Soonyoung's message telling him he was going to be busy that day—perhaps still knocked out after their rambunctious night, one that Soonyoung struggled to remember. 

He could only remember glimpses of memories here and there. Joshua pulling a Gatorade out of his backpack and mixing it with his shot, attracting the attention of passersby who also wanted a douse of Gatorade infused in their liquor. He remembered Seokmin trying to front flip on the karaoke stage and failing miserably, laying there flat on his back as the instrumental to Call Me Maybe continued playing in the background. He remembered Mingyu and Chan trying to impress girls by using their strength in quite possibly the dumbest way Soonyoung had ever seen being attempted; Chan trying to do pull ups on Mingyu's arms who desperately flexed to try and hold the boy up—though it did manage to impress many guys at the bar, and they made quite a few gym friends along the way.

He was just grateful he managed to find his way home somehow in one piece, and made it a reminder to check on the others later in the day when they've likely recovered. But for now, he was on his way to the daycare, ready to retrieve Chaerim early so they could be together for even longer today. 

The pick up was much like the day before, though this time, Soonyoung came before naptime and was greeted by many smiling faces playing together in the next room. The lady came to greet him once more as Chaerim clung to him again, and soon they were off. 

"Where are we going today, Soonie!" She shouted from where she sat, inside voice out the window as she kicked her feet excitedly once more. The sight warmed his heart, the small mirrored image of her in his rearview mirror sparking this wholesome comfort in his heart, a fond smile stretching across his face. 

"I haven't decided yet, sunshine," he replied. "We can go to the zoo–"

"The zoo!" She cried enthusiastically, the shrillness of her voice somewhat grating on his ear, triggering another throbbing sensation in his head, though he shook it off with a wince and a shrug. "I want the zoo, Soonie! I want the zoo!"

"Or we can go to the mall and I can buy you whatever you want."

She grew quiet all of a sudden, startling Soonyoung who quickly glanced at his rearview mirror to see the girl staring off into oblivion, mouth ajar and eyes glazed over. She sat there completely motionless for a few seconds, and Soonyoung was about to pull over to check on her when she suddenly sat up again. 

"Soonie buys me toys at the zoo." 

He blinked at her proposition, but nevertheless nodded with a laugh. 

"Sounds like a plan. Good job finding a compromise so quickly." 

"What's a com-pom-rise?" 

The remainder of the journey was repetitive, to say the least, with Chaerim babbling nonsensically, hitting Soonyoung with unexpected questions as if to keep him on track with her discussions, singing songs together, and at some point she dozed off for five minutes before waking up fully energized. 

And the zoo was as good an idea as ever, perhaps better than it had gone in his head when he had been deliberating on potential places to take the young girl. Her smile seemed to never fade throughout the day, a permanent fixture on her face as he brought her to each and every animal they had to offer. He'd hold her up to get a better view of the monkeys, summarize what the tour guides said in words she'd understand, even had his arm wrapped around her the entire time she was in the petting zoo, far too wary to approach any of the animals on her own.

All the while, he snapped photos of her and him, sending them to (y/n) to keep her updated. It felt bittersweet to have her on speed dial once more. Accessible to him at any moment in time. He'd remember them texting each other at night, using up all of their minutes just to be with the other. And later on, they'd call each other for hours at a time, his face pressed into the pillow and his phone resting on his ear, dozing off to the sound of her absent-minded humming. Though again, they were merely memories at this point. And he was reminded of that as he sent her the next batch of images, the last one staring back at him almost mockingly.

One where his face was pressed against Chaerim's, the both of them sporting the same toothy smile, cheeks puffed with joy and eyes crinkled into slits. While the fact still remained—that being Chaerim is not his biological child—he couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort looking at the image. A sort of reminder of what could have been. That this little girl is what his child with (y/n) would've looked like had he not thrown everything away.

"Soonie," said little girl called up to him, tugging at the hem of his shirt to summon his attention. "I'm tired." 

That's right, he picked her up before naptime. Not only that, but they've been walking around the zoo for a few hours now. Of course she's bound to be tired, she's still practically a baby. He could probably find a quiet spot where she can nap. She can use his jacket as a blanket and his lap as a pillow. Would that be sufficient enough? What if it's too sunny out for her to nap? Is there a place that's even quiet enough? What if she collapses on him out of exhaustion? 

Another tug at his shirt has him crouching to her height almost immediately, and Chaerim took the opportunity to latch onto his neck, scrambling into his arms so when he stood again, she was safely nestled against him. As if through magic, her touch settled the frenzied thoughts swirling in his head, silencing his incessant doubts and worries with a simple hug. The ends of her pigtails tickled beneath his jaw, grounding him and bringing a smile to his face. 

This must've been what it felt like to be a father. The thought harrowing, the responsibilities debilitating, worries for your child being an inevitable occurrence with every waking moment. Yet at the end of the day, when you had them in your arm, feeling their comforting weight against you, it was like there was nothing to even worry about. Like all of those struggles endured were worth it in the end. Like nothing else in the world mattered, as long as they were safe and happy. This fulfilling sense of harmony like the calm after the storm, the remedy to his qualms, the spark of warmth in an otherwise frigid wasteland.

What power such a tiny human held, one that he had only met some few days ago, yet one that he found himself loving wholeheartedly, willing to throw everything away if that's what she asked of him. There they sat on a secluded bench, his jacket draped on her back as she dozed off on his shoulder. The hanging branches above them offered a generous amount of shade, yet those pesky rays of light that peeked through the leaves threatened Chaerim's rest, so Soonyoung sat there with his hand hovering over her face, making sure nothing disturbed her peace. His arm ached and his shoulder had long gone numb from keeping its position, though he found he couldn't care less about these minor inconveniences. 

Not when his little sunshine was sleeping calmly against him, her steady breaths puffing against his neck as her fists weakly pawed at his shirt. 

The zoo trip finally reached its conclusion, Chaerim strapped into her car seat between her new flamingo, giraffe, and tiger toys, who were also strapped into their seats. The latter was a given, Soonyoung already snagging it from its hook and adding it to her pile. She didn't complain though, if her talking to her new tiger was any indication. On the way home, she had already bestowed upon it the noble name of Stripey, as well as an entire backstory about Stripey having fled from her wartorn kingdom before the enemy lion troops were to capture her, taking refuge in the zoo until Chaerim came to her rescue.

Soonyoung was very invested, on the edge of his seat whenever she hit him with yet another plot twist to the convoluted story, to the point that he hadn't even realized he'd made it to the apartment building until he had actually parked, nor did he truly acknowledge the situation at hand until Chaerim had rapped her knuckles against the door once they had reached the apartment itself. 

Moments later, the door opened, and there stood (y/n) in all of her glory. It was idiotic how absolutely awestruck Soonyoung was every time he saw. How enamored he was with her whenever he so much as stood in her presence. The impact she had on him still to this day something that astonished him, though at the same time didn't necessarily surprise him, as she had lingered in his mind practically every day since the moment he first met her. 

Soonyoung stood in sheer wonderment as usual, though was suddenly sent hurtling into a completely different sense of astoundment as she blessed him with a smile. A warm and genuine grin with tinges of bittersweet poignancy at its edges. It wasn't that conflicted, distant gaze she usually looked at him with, watching him as one would an exhibit of sorts. It felt new, yet comfortingly familiar in a way. As if slowly but surely, her exterior was melting away. 

"Mommy!" Chaerim shouted, squirming out of Soonyoung's arms the moment (y/n) appeared. She managed to wrangle the little girl from Soonyoung's wavering grip, chuckling to herself at the fear that flashed Soonyoung's eyes the moment he thought he'd drop Chaerim. He was left to trail after the two, right arm still clutching the three stuffed animals and the small gift shop bag. All the while, Chaerim babbled on to her mother about the entirety of her day. 

Soonyoung was leant against the wall as the two girls sat themselves on the couch, the scene similar to the day before, yet also vastly different. The setting sun's rays seeping in through the windows no longer felt like an anxious conclusion to the day, though instead a hopeful end. One where Soonyoung could rest assured that he wasn't being completely removed from the equation. He couldn't really pinpoint it, but it felt as if something changed. As if turning a new leaf. Watching the girls talk hadn't felt like he was intruding on a private conversation, but instead spectating the amusing scene of a toddler desperately strewing words together to describe the events of the zoo to her mother. 

"And then–and then Soonie and I went to see the rhinos, and they were like this big," she exclaimed excitedly, tossing her arms open to indicate the sheer size of the animals mentioned. (y/n) nodded, undoing Chaerim's pigtails and combing through her locks. "And then we saw the giraffes and they were even bigger!"

"No way," (y/n) responded, triggering another surge of excitement from the little girl who insisted vehemently on the giraffe's staggering height. Soonyoung rested his head against the wall, a wide smile stretched across his face. (y/n) glanced over at him, biting back her own smile while Chaerim continued.

Something had changed. A shift in the atmosphere that was unlike yesterday's. It felt almost unfair that Soonyoung couldn't narrow down what exactly it was, yet either way he was immensely grateful, especially as (y/n) redirected her attention to him, dismissing Chaerim for now. She stood from the couch, walking into the kitchen, and Soonyoung naturally followed after her, no words needed. 

"Looks like she had fun," (y/n) stated, an entertained laugh slipping out at the end of her sentence.

"She did, I'm glad to see that." Soonyoung glanced into the living room where the aforementioned little girl watched her cartoons in an almost dazed state. "I was worried she wouldn't like it." 

"Please, she got to see animals and she got toys at the end of it all. You couldn't have made her happier." She briefly opened the fridge, pulling out a sealed container before placing it on the island countertop. Soonyoung glanced between it and her for a few moments, not understanding the sudden appearance of the item, but with a roll of her eyes, (y/n) slid it closer to him. "Hangover soup." 

Soonyoung's mouth fell open, eyes widening some as he hesitantly brought the dish closer. 

"How did you know?" She looked at him with amused confusion, as if the answer to the question was obvious. Nonetheless, she shrugged with a smirk. 

"Maybe a little birdie told me you all were getting wasted last night." Soonyoung giggled some, thoughts returning to his friend who most likely is dealing with the same pain as him. He'd be sure to share this with Seokmin when he sees him next. 

"Thank you. Really. You didn't have to do all this."

"Of course I did." She waved him off dismissively, faux exasperation at his humility. His lips pursed into a thin line, fingers fiddling with the twine loops of the gift bag before finally lifting it and placing it on the counter with a soft thud. It was now her turn to look between the bag and him expectantly, only for him to follow her prior movements, sliding the bag across the counter much the same as the soup. 

Hesitatingly, she took the item, the light touch of her fingers causing the dense paper material to crinkle under her. She wore an appreciative, yet otherwise curious, smile as she fished out whatever resided in the bag, lifting it from its bed of wrapping and into the light. 

A small white leather box, unassuming in presentation, to the point that she hadn't even spared a second thought before opening it, unveiling a pair of pearl earrings. Her mouth fell agape, a small gasp leaving past her lips. She stared for a moment more at the jewelry before looking back up at Soonyoung. 

"The zoo had an area where they bred oysters," he explained, his voice coming out softer than intended, yet even so still feeling out of place in the otherwise quiet atmosphere with only the sounds of children's cartoons offering a low humming white noise in the background. She turned back to the earrings, a finger tracing over the smooth surface of the item at hand. "I hope you still like pearls. I saw them and thought of you." 

"I love them." Her response came as quietly as his own, though her voice had a crack in it that had Soonyoung's brows raising in concern. Meeting his gaze again proved his suspicions correct, her eyes now glassy with a pout on her lip as she clutched the box closer to her chest. 

"Aww, baby, don't cry." Soonyoung let out a laugh, body moving instinctively as he opened his arms. It wasn't until she had already shuffled into his embrace, whining into his chest and quietly releasing her tears, that he realized what he'd done. Though feeling her against him, the warmth of her tears against his shirt, that soothing aroma of hers that always calmed his nerves, the weight of her head pressing into him, quelled the worries in his heart. Like mother, like daughter, the two girls holding such an authority over him to be able to sway his every thought and his every emotion. For the next few minutes, he reveled in whatever comfort he could acquire, arms squeezing (y/n) to him as she mumbled her thanks to the man. 

For once, Soonyoung felt a sense of completion, more sated holding (y/n) than he had been at his own graduation. His lips twitched into a smile, and he was sure (y/n) must have heard the beating of his heart kick up with every passing moment, though she didn't comment on it. Chaerim had begun singing the songs on her show, and the orange glow of the setting sun continued basking them in its warm honey-like ambience. 

For once in his both hectic and monotonous life, he felt a stability he feared he'd never experience, the key to his peace resting in the hands of (y/n) herself. As if he had strayed from his intended path, only to veer back to her. Like no matter how far you throw a rock into the air, it's bound to return to the earth below it. No matter how far he fled from home, no matter how distant he grew from her, he'd always find his way back to (y/n). Like it was meant to be. And as he cradled her to him, he knew it was because it truly was meant to be.

He didn't know for how long he'd stood there holding (y/n), rocking them back and forth calmly as they embraced one another, though it was the sound of the apartment door opening that brought them back to reality, regrettably separating as Jihyo waltzed in. She had a look of surprise on her face for a moment, but offered Soonyoung a kind smile in greeting. 

"I should head out," Soonyoung quietly spoke, turning back to (y/n) after waving to Jihyo. 

"I'll walk you out," she replied, already walking out of the kitchen and into the main hall.

Soonyoung made a brief detour to the living room, crouching in front of the couch where Chaerim resided. 

"I'm heading out now." Chaerim immediately threw herself at him, causing Soonyoung to briefly huff at the sudden action. 

"I want Soonie to stay." 

"I can't, sunshine. We'll hang out again tomorrow, yeah?"

"Zoo?"

"I was thinking we could go to the aquarium. We can see more water animals." She gasped, pulling herself away from him to nod enthusiastically. Soonyoung laughed, nodding along with her and promising to pick her up from daycare again. Though before he could stand up, she grabbed him again, dragging him closer to her. 

"Come to my birthday," she insisted, practically vibrating with excitement. "It's really soon. Mommy says the 17th. Come to my birthday." 

"Okay, sunshine, I'm there."

She finally let him go, smiling as he walked back to the hallway where Jihyo and (y/n) stood. Jihyo bid Soonyoung a brief goodbye before heading to the living room with Chaerim. 

"I can't thank you enough for taking care of Chaerim, and for my earrings." (y/n) fiddled with the box still in her hand, and Soonyoung couldn't help but to grin at her shyness. 

"Of course. Nothing but the best for you both." 

"And thank you for the pictures… I really liked them." 

"I'm glad to hear." He felt his cheeks warming under her attention, bashfully looking down at his feet. "I'll send more tomorrow. We're going to the aquarium." 

"Oh, she's going to love that."

There was a pause between them, a silence as they looked at each other one last time. Soonyoung couldn't help but to smile whilst admiring her, remembering how he'd zone out in class and miss the entire lesson because he was staring at the back of her head. Old habits die hard. 

A sudden holler from the living room drew their attention back to the present, snickering at Chaerim's hoots of laughter from beyond the apartment. Though it reminded Soonyoung of what had happened some few moments ago. 

"Chaerim invited me to her birthday." (y/n) smiled at this, nodding her head at his words. 

"Yeah, it's coming up in just a few days. It's just going to be a little get together with Jihyo, Seokmin, and I. Maybe some of the guys, but who knows. We'd love to have you over." 

"I'd love to attend. So this is me RSVPing for that." 

"I'll be sure to write your name on the list of attendees." They shared another laugh together.

Soonyoung couldn't believe how light it felt to be with her today. That agonizingly taxing weight which once lingered over him in her presence now all but dissipated. He couldn't tell what had happened, but God he'd be lying if he said he wasn't eternally grateful for such a turn of events.

The glee in this revelation remained with him as he drove home, and also as he ate all of the hangover soup, changing his mind about sharing with Seokmin, keeping (y/n)'s gift all to himself. 

"Bullshit!" Chan shouted, already whipping his hand out towards the messily strewn pile of cards at the center of the table. Flipping over the first two of the pile revealed an ace and a ten—not the two aces that Jeonghan had initially declared. 

The man groaned to himself as he dragged the entire pile over, causing Chan to victoriously raise his arms up in the air. Beside him, Mingyu patted his back while Seokmin hyped him up, the two sporting encouraging smiles for the youngest's achievement. With a new round starting, Soonyoung grabbed two from his hand and placed them at the now barren center. 

"Two aces," he announced, leaning back and refusing to meet anyone's perceptive stare. No matter how drunk they got, they somehow always remained vigilant when it came down to Bullshit. 

"One two," Wonwoo muttered afterwards, dropping a card into the newly accumulating pile. 

"Two threes," Jihoon leant forward to join with his addition, leaning back seconds after and absentmindedly reorganizing the cards in his hand currently, unaware of the six other men staring at him in disbelief. 

"Um… Bullshit?" Seokmin mumbled confusedly, causing Jihoon to finally peek over and see that the two supposed threes he'd dropped were instead face up, revealing instead a three and a nine. 

"No– Wait– Don't look at that." He dove forward to retrieve his cards, but he knew it was too late as the lot all erupted into laughter, shouting out Jihoon's slip up and pushing the slim pile over to him. "I hate this game. Why are we even playing this game? I don't want to play this game. Let's play Uno." 

"Like that's any less ruthless," Jeonghan grumbled, brandishing his hand which made up a good chunk of the 52 count deck of theirs. Jihoon took another swig of his beer, irate at the turn of events.

"Someone better win soon then, or I'm leaving the party early." 

"Don't worry," Chan stood to his feet, chair scraping back as he assumed a heroic pose. He raised his hand up, a single card resting between his two fingers. "I've got that covered." He gently placed the card at the center of the table, his voice just as soft as he announced. "One four."

Vernon glanced down at his cards, brow raising as he glanced from his hand to Chan. His mouth had momentarily opened, but before he could call the boy out on his fib, Jihoon all but tossed his cards ceremoniously onto the table, clapping and monotonously cheering for the winner of the game. 

"Hooray, good job. Seokmin, get your Uno." 

As the new game was starting, Seokmin dealing out everyone's seven cards, Soonyoung's phone buzzed against his lap. With one last tentative sip of his drink, not wanting to go through another terrible hangover so soon, he pulled out his phone under the table. Almost immediately, his expression brightened, putting down his drink and scooting out from the table. 

"Excuse me, I have to take this," he quickly stated, shuffling away from the rowdy bunch and into the hall. The noise was muted some here, just enough that he could probably talk peacefully on the phone, though if not, Seokmin's bedroom door was right there next to him. With one last sigh, he swiped on the incoming call, voice unexpectedly wavering as he answered. "Hello?"

"Soonie!" The familiar shrill voice of Chaerim momentarily surprised him, though his shock washed away rather quickly. 

"Hello, sunshine! How are you?" Soonyoung already found himself slipping into the aforementioned bedroom, knowing his voice would carry over to where the others resided. 

"I'm good!"

With the formalities over and out of the way, she began spewing out near nonsense supposedly telling Soonyoung about her day from what he could decipher. He hummed affirmatively and responded when need be, though for the most part just sat there with a dopey smile as the little girl continued on with her speech. From beyond her voice, Soonyoung could hear (y/n) in the background, giggling to herself as Chaerim talked, and it had Soonyoung biting his lip, his cheeks aching with the sheer breadth of his grin. 

"Soonie, you didn't pick me up today," she noted randomly. 

"I know, sweet pea, it's the weekend. Don't you want to spend time with your mommy?" 

"No, I'm okay." Soonyoung laughed as (y/n) whined at her daughter's quick dismissal of her, even more so when (y/n) began seemingly wrestling the child for the phone back. "No! I want Soonie! No!" 

"You're quickly losing Soonie privileges, Chae." (y/n) warned, voice authoritative, yet nevertheless carrying a jesting undertone.

"Soonie, she's so mean to me. Where are you? Why aren't you here?" 

"I'm at Uncle Seokmin's house."

"I want to go to Uncle Seokmin's house. I want to be with Soonie." His heart felt so incredibly full, his hand clenching over where the organ was beating. She was too precious for this world, he thought. If he hadn't already had a drink or two, he'd be driving over to the apartment to reunite with Chaerim right then and there. Though with some forced restraint, he tethered himself back to reality, pouting at his newfound maturity. 

"I can't, Soonie isn't feeling very well right now." 

"Oh no! Why are you sick?"

"I drank some… icky water… and now I'm too weak to drive over to you." 

"Soonie, don't die." Her voice was suddenly so terribly sad, and Soonyoung immediately regretted his words. 

"No, I'm just feeling a little sick! I'm not big sick!"

"The icky water made Soonie's tummy hurt. You know how tummy aches feel, right?" (y/n) began explaining, earning a sound of acknowledgement from the little girl who quickly returned to the phone. 

"Soonie, it's okay, I get tummy aches, too. It's okay, it's okay." 

"Thank you, sweetie. I'll be sure to feel better before your birthday." 

He could hear (y/n) whispering to Chaerim, her voice quiet as she told Chaerim to say goodnight to him. 

"Goodnight, Soonie! I can't wait to see you on my birthday! I miss you!"

"I miss you, too."

"I love you." 

If his heart had felt full before, it was practically overflowing now, that overabundance of warmth now seeping into his stomach, gripping him with its comfort and bringing a flush to his face. 

"I love you, too, sunshine." 

There was some commotion on the other line, the two quietly speaking to each other, though now Soonyoung couldn't really decipher it. He just sat there, permanent smile on his face, still reeling over Chaerim's farewell. It felt nice. To be loved by this little girl that he had already accepted he loved back with all of his heart. It felt gratifying, that of all people, Chaerim came to love him. 

"Hey," (y/n)'s voice sounded from the phone. 

"Hi." He found himself looking down at the floor, socked feet fiddling with the carpet beneath him, brushing it back and forth and toying with the opposing shades it created.

After a little over a week, it still felt so surreal to hear (y/n) again. To be near her. To be able to actually talk to her. As if his six year drought had come to an end with her monsoon-like return. As if she brought life back to his otherwise desolate form. He felt more alive these last few days than he has in the half decade he's been away. He was beginning to feel concerned for himself, because he honestly couldn't even remember the past six years he's been gone, all of it like a numbing fever dream where he'd survived on autopilot alone.

But now he was present. He felt himself again. He felt like a human being. As dependent as it may sound, (y/n) made him who he was, and he was nothing without her. 

"Sorry about that. She refused to go to sleep until she saw Soonie today." 

"I don't mind. It did feel weird today not seeing her." 

"You spoil her too much. She still refuses to let go of her manta ray stuffed animal since you got it for her at the aquarium." Soonyoung chuckled at this, remembering that day fondly. 

"That's surprising, considering she was terrified to even approach the stingray petting area." (y/n) laughed, remembering the picture Soonyoung sent her of him smiling at the camera while Chaerim was red faced and crying next to the said animal petting area. 

"Says the guy who had to be protected by that same little girl when you both went to the circus."

"Hey." Soonyoung's quick interjection had (y/n) bursting into another fit of giggles. "Those clowns were terrifying. She was a brave soul that day. I wouldn't have come out alive." 

"Of course, I understand."

"Well, we'll see who's talking when we take you to an amusement park for the rollercoasters." She gasped at his threat, her voice dropping into a pained whisper soon after. 

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would, you know I would." 

"I'm being abused by both my daughter and you, I can't handle this." 

His heart felt light, soaring about frivolously without a care in the world. This dark mass which once clung to it had slowly but surely faded away, taking with it the dense murkiness it once obscured Soonyoung's life with. Those butterflies in his stomach fluttered with it, joyous and abundant after their long hibernation, dormant until (y/n) had come back into the picture. 

Her voice spoke to him like a lullaby, soft and tranquil as she chatted faintly, words light and breathy and weaving together into incoherency, though he didn't really mind, reminded of the days they'd do just this until they passed out. 

"(y/n), you're tired," Soonyoung uttered, to which she hummed in consideration. 

"I am."

"You should go to sleep." There was an ache in his heart, sending her off so early, though he couldn't keep her to himself all night. She was busy, and sleep was practically a rare commodity to her. 

Silence settled over the two, with only the grainy feedback of the phone call to occupy them, yet Soonyoung still found it to be comforting merely knowing she was on the other line. He'd probably stay on the phone with her all night like this if he could, but he really should let her go. 

"I don't want to." Her response was low, a whisper into the phone, as if having uttered something she shouldn't have. His breath stuttered, body stiffening while his heart seized in on itself, thudding against his chest to the point that it almost ached. And with the undeniable warmth coursing through his veins at the moment, he couldn't help but grin to himself, clutching the phone tighter in his hand.

"I don't want you to either."

She hummed appreciatively at this, a content thrum against his ear, and for a moment, he was beside her. He was laying there, her hair fanning out against her pillow, eyes slid shut with the faintest trace of a smile gracing her lips. He could feel her breath against his skin, her presence like an otherworldly comfort. He could hear her breathing growing steadier by the minute as they basked in the silence. Telltale sign of her drifting off. And the thought seemed to come to him naturally, like an old record that still played the same tune as he began rambling. 

"The guys are playing Uno in the other room. We were playing BS, but Jihoon lost his patience a bit." He heard a slight chuckle on her side, though one that hadn't deterred her already tired state. "I'm pretty sure he's still losing his patience. Uno is much worse than BS. I'll text you the details tomorrow once I go out there again later." He leant back, laying flat on Seokmin's bed with his phone still pressed to his cheek. "I already got Chaerim her gift. I don't know if I should tell you. I think you'll get mad at me. But Chaerim will like it at least. I know she will."

He paused for a moment, thoughts still whirling in his head. He chuckled to himself thinking about his gift, the mental image of Chaerim using it already playing in his head.

Chaerim. 

"I really did miss my little sunshine today. I know we've hung out everyday, but it still feels lonely without her. On the bright side, I already know where I'm taking her next. I think she'd like the ice skating rink. The one we used to go to."

Memories came to him. Memories of that very rink. Of his friends and him all busting their ass more than once. Jun clinging to the plexiglass paneling on the rink's perimeter. Jihoon teetering with his legs and arms spread out as far as possible. Chan accidentally learning to skate backwards first. Soonyoung struggling to grasp the concept of ice skating, clinging to (y/n) like his life depended on it. Really, it did. And she'd just laugh and let him hold her, his arms wrapped around her body with his head resting on her shoulders, and she'd skate them around while Soonyoung just cradled her to him. 

He hasn't skated in years. Not since (y/n). He didn't even realize this until this very moment. 

"Maybe I should hold out on the skating rink for another day. I don't think I can actually skate. I never really learned." He pursed his lips, blinking back his sadness. "I never learned because once I did, it would mean I wouldn't need you anymore. I wouldn't be able to hold you like I did. It would've just taken away one of the ways I showed my love to you." The blinking was becoming redundant as he felt his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. "But it was kinda pointless in the end since I was the one that took away our love. Since I was the one that gave up." 

He scoffed as he felt the first tear slip by, as if he even deserved to cry at this point. Though once the second and the third slipped by, that indignant irritation disappeared, leaving behind the raw sadness that had been plaguing him for years. He frowned, staring at the popcorn ceiling above him. It looked like (y/n)'s ceiling growing up.

He was reminded of those sleepless nights when she'd jostle him awake, either anxious with her thoughts or scared from a nightmare, and he'd lay awake with her. They'd rest their heads against one another as she talked to him, released her thoughts so they were no longer trapped in her head. And he'd comfort her with words or cuddles. He'd point at the textured ceiling staring down from above them, making constellations and telling her whatever convoluted story he'd make up on the spot. Until she had fallen asleep peacefully to the sound of his voice, a smile on her face as he kissed her goodnight before falling asleep himself. 

Staring up at that very ceiling, the replacement for their city's light polluted sky, only served to make him cry harder. He shook his head at the thought, at his words he'd only just uttered. 

"I gave up our relationship like a fucking idiot," he muttered, voice wrought with emotion, wavering with the tension in his throat. "But I never gave up our love. Never once in my life have I ever stopped loving you. And I never will. Even after you've moved on, I'll still be here, knowing that I lost my soulmate the night I walked away. The night I left you." He bit his lip at the memory, sniffling as softly as he could. From the sound of her breathing, he knew she was asleep, yet he kept going. "That was the most painful thing I've ever had to do. Leaving you was a mistake, but it was just… atrocious of me to leave you alone in my bed like that. I should've done better. I should've said goodbye to you personally like I had wanted to." A sob slipped past his lips for a moment, but he brought his fist up to his mouth, concealing the despair that seeped out of him with every word. "I shouldn't have even left you in the first place."

He moved to wipe his tears, smiling through the pain as he heard the deep steady breaths on the other line, anchoring him back to the present. 

"I love you," he admitted, a laugh following at the end of it. "I love you so much. More than I could ever even try to explain. I love you." His hand flew up to his hair, tugging at the strands as more tears flooded his eyes, that agonized smile stretching further across his face. "I love the way you haven't changed over the years. I love the way you still make me happy. I love how strong and intelligent you are. I love how you still show your love through different means. I love that you made me soup when I was hungover. I love that you wear those pearl earrings I got you everyday. I love how you still fall asleep to my voice. I love Chaerim. I love your little family." Another shaky breath, and the tension which had built up over the course of his confession unraveled, his body going limp, and that smile slackened until it was truly genuine. A genuine, gentle, ever so loving, absolutely enamored smile as he let it all go. As he accepted his flaws. His mistakes from the past. His frenzied emotions. His absolute, undeniable, to the moon sort of love he held for (y/n). "I love you." 

The last few minutes of the call were spent with Soonyoung silently crying, letting out the last shreds of despair wracking his body. Her breathing soothed his tormented heart, reminding him of the constant she was to him. That anchor in his life he so desperately needed, tethering him to her lest he stray wayward once more. He felt that tug once more. That urge to run directly to her. To watch her peaceful form beside him, memorizing every line and every detail of her face, tracing the outlines of her form carefully with his eyes, until he had it all ingrained in his mind where he'd then fall asleep, pressing a kiss to her forehead before drifting off. 

"Goodnight, my love," he muttered, which was all he could do at this point, smiling warmly as he took in the last remnants of her presence before he'd have to leave. "Sweet dreams." 

The game had all but stopped once Soonyoung had come back an hour later with tear stained cheeks and blood shot eyes, face red and puffy, all the while attempting to act as nonchalant as possible, as if he hadn't just walked out of the most devastating experience he'd ever encountered. 

"You good?" Chan was the first to break the silence, eyebrow raised in concern at the state of his elder. Soonyoung nodded. 

"Yeah, why?" His voice cracked, as if the cherry on top to this entire fiasco. 

"Who was that on the phone?" Wonwoo was the next to speak, fiddling with the cards in his hands. 

"Oh, it was just (y/n) and Chaerim."

The boys uttered a collective 'ah' in understanding, returning to their game as if nothing had happened. That is except Jihoon, taking another gulp of beer with a sigh followed after. 

"You know what, this is good," Jihoon announced aloud. Jeonghan absentmindedly hummed at him to continue, all the while dropping his card on the pile at the table's center. "Let it all out, talk to each other. So much unresolved tension that's finally getting closure." He pointed to Soonyoung, eyebrows furrowed seriously. "It's about time you two made up."

"He's right," Vernon spoke up, putting his cards face down before him. "You guys… personally founded romance or something. You're our modern day Romeo and Juliet." He placed his hands on his chest, looking around the table for support as he continued. "I was honestly devastated when they broke up. Cause like if they can't work out, what hope do we have?" Chan nodded at this, pursing his lips in understanding. Wonwoo similarly mimicked this, lips downturned as he confirmed Vernon's words. "You need her. She needs you. You both need each other. It just doesn't make sense to have one without the other. You know what I'm saying?" 

"You two were made for each other!" Jihoon cried out passionately, slapping down a draw four and causing Jeonghan's jaw to slacken at his audacity. 

Soonyoung was flustered at all the attention on him, and was ever so grateful when the game returned to its original state before he had intervened. Beside him, Seokmin patted his back, as if knowing Soonyoung was riddled with conflicting thoughts and emotions. Though really it was pretty one dimensional where his stance had settled. 

He loved (y/n). He loved Chaerim. He loved them both. God, he wanted them both. But he's been far too greedy in his life. And at this point, he's willing to take whatever (y/n) was willing to offer him.

Soonyoung knocked on the door excitedly, biting back his smile as he heard Chaerim's familiar holler from within the apartment. A few moments later, the door opened, revealing a smiling Jihyo donning a pink party hat. 

"Hey Soonyoung! Come on–" She stopped talking once she looked down and saw the gigantic box at his feet. It had barely even fit through the door and required both of them cooperating with one another to manage it through. "What the hell did you buy this little girl?" 

"Soonie!" Said little girl came barreling out of a room down the hall, hurdling herself into his arms at full velocity.

"Chaerim!" He yelled back, squeezing her in his arms and twirling her in the air. She erupted into giggles, face squished into his neck as her limbs clung to him desperately. "How's my favorite birthday girl?"

Before she could respond, a delighted gasp brought their attention to her, her eyes now entirely trained on the enormous box behind Jihyo.

"Is that mine?" She asked excitedly, squirming out of Soonyoung's grasp to rush over to the box. It was practically as big as her, and it had Soonyoung giggling to himself as well. Jihyo shook her head, staring at him in disbelief before turning back to Chaerim. 

"Yes, sweetie, Soonie got it for you. You can open it after we blow out your candles." She immediately came bounding back to Soonie, crouched to her height as she hugged the living daylights out of him. 

"Thank you, Soonie." He grinned, hugging her back happily. 

"Of course, sunshine." A few moments passed before (y/n) came strolling out of her room, just as lovely as she always was. Her eyes landed on Soonyoung, and he felt his heart skip multiple beats upon the sudden smile she had on her face. 

"Soonyoung, you came!" He stood up, Chaerim still held by his right arm as he accepted (y/n)'s hug with his left. He felt so full, heart overflowing with adoration and stomach twisting into happy little knots as he surrounded himself with his two favorite girls. Jihyo stood on the sidelines, a contented pout on her face as she watched the scene before her. 

Still wrapped in Soonyoung's hold, (y/n) glanced over to Jihyo. 

"Any news on Seokmin?" 

"Stuck at work," Jihyo regretfully informed, glancing down at her phone as if checking to see if Seokmin had miraculously escaped the clutches of his day job. "But he did invite some of the other guys, so they should be showing up throughout the day."

"Oh, that'll be chaotic," (y/n) snickered, laying her head on Soonyoung's chest in thought. He had no quarrels with this, in a permanent blissed out state as he rocked them all back and forth, lost in his own world. "Should we just have her blow out her candles now so she can play with her toys throughout the day?" (y/n) continued talking as Chaerim had yelled out her agreeance excitedly. "That way she'll have time to play with some toys, and then when one of the boys comes, she can play with the next toy?"

"That sounds like a plan." Jihyo nodded, already in motion as she began setting up the cake.

Soonyoung handled the birthday girl as (y/n) and Chaerim scurried about, delicately placing some candles on the cake, to which Chaerim indignantly commanded there to be more. Once there were about 20 candles scattered across her princess themed cake, Soonyoung placed her down on a barstool placed at the middle island, making his way across the counter to where (y/n) stood. Jihyo sat beside the little girl, slowly lighting up the candles for the ceremony until (y/n) took a sharp intake of breath, turning to face Soonyoung with a shocked expression on her face.

Before he could reciprocate her panic, however, she had already begun fleeing from the kitchen. 

"I forgot the camera!" Her voice faded in the distance as she grew further away, leaving the three of them in the kitchen. Soonyoung averted his gaze from where (y/n) ran off to Chaerim, precariously eyeing her cake with a mischievous glint in her eyes. It brought a smile to his face, watching the few lit candles flicker in the reflection of her dark eyes. 

"You should blow out the candles before wax gets on the cake," Soonyoung suggested, catching Chaerim's eye as she began smiling with him. Before Jihyo could put out the few candles, Chaerim beat her to it, puffing out her cheeks and blowing out the tiny flames in one big breath. Victoriously, she threw her hands up in the air. 

"Yay! I'm turning five!" She hollered aloud, bringing a chuckle out of Jihyo beside her. 

"No, sweetie, you are five. You only say turning when you're going to be that age very soon. Yesterday, you were turning five. Today, you are five. Understand?" 

"No." 

"Okay, well–" Jihyo was cut off by the sudden presence of Soonyoung's hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention over to the suddenly very shaken man. His eyes were shaky, attempting to focus on Jihyo, but struggling to maintain what little restraint he had left in him. 

"She's five?" He asked, voice coming out in a wavering manner through his unsteady breathing. Jihyo looked at him confused for a moment, incredulous at his inquiry, though as quickly as she mentally questioned him, realization had hit her. Realization that Soonyoung had put the puzzle together. 

"Soonyoung–" She started, her tone of voice full of remorse, though she couldn't get much else out as he all but bolted out of the kitchen and down the hall, barging into (y/n)'s room unceremoniously. His head whipped about momentarily until his eyes landed on her emerging from her closet, digital camera in hand. 

"Oh, I found the camera, it's alright–" (y/n) yelped as Soonyoung's hands clamped down on her shoulders, the force of his hold startling her for a second, though not harming her in any manner. As if his only intention was to keep her where she stood. 

"(y/n)," he began, faltering in his speech. She grew concerned for him, hands instinctively reaching up to hold onto his bicep, squeezing him back reassuringly. The motion, at any other moment in time would've called him down. Though right now, it did nothing but remind him of who stood before him. "(y/n), I've asked Jihyo. I've asked Seokmin. I haven't asked you. So I'm only going to ask this once." At this point, (y/n) was slowly understanding the situation at hand, and she could do nothing but quiver at the raw emotion in his eyes. The blaze of unbridled despondency seeping into his dark, lonely gaze. His lips quivered as he took in another breath, nerves shaking with him and almost sending his body into a similar state. "Is Chaerim my daughter?" 

Her mouth had fallen open, and then it closed, and opened again, though no sound came out. Her eyes darted about the room, from the door leading to the hallway, to her bedside table, to the closet behind her. Anywhere but Soonyoung, who couldn't tear his gaze away from her for even a moment, trained on her every minute action, relying on his years of being fluent in (y/n) to lead him to his answer. 

She was scared, that much was obvious. She was attempting to school her expression, a twitch on her lip trying to incite a casual smile to brush him off. A light, humorous scoff being the first sound to leave her lips, and she finally focused her eyes on his mouth. 

"What are you talking about?" She asked, a joking air to her words, a tone that could have potentially fooled others, but Soonyoung could detect the lack of sincerity in her actions. Her fingers twitched where they rested on his arm, squeezing him to calm herself as she continued. "Jihyo and Seokmin have both told you no."

"They have," Soonyoung agreed, dragging (y/n) closer, so close that he was sure she could hear the way his heart beat so violently against his chest, just as terrified of the results of this interrogation as she was. "But you haven't."

That faux curl of her lips had crumbled, bottom lip trembling as her eyes began to well with tears, her body similarly quaking under his touch. Her breathing had picked up, chest rising and falling to an almost concerning rate that Soonyoung had to reposition them, one hand falling down to her back and the other brushing away the strands of hair in her face. She whimpered at the sudden proximity, attempting to curl in on herself and away from Soonyoung's prying eyes. 

"(y/n)," he quietly called out to her, voice now hushed, lowly soothing her as best he could. Her hands had retracted to her chest, fiddling with the material of his shirt as he drew her closer to him, shushing her when silent tears had begun slipping out. At this point, he had his answer. He just needed (y/n) to come to terms with it as well. So he patiently held her, face buried in her hair as he swayed them side to side, rocking her until he felt her breathing even out. 

When he retracted his head to look down at her, he saw her terror filled eyes, widened and focused on the whitewashed wall of her bedroom. Gently, his finger trailed down to her chin, bringing her face to him as he pressed his forehead against hers, noses brushing past one another. When she met his resolute gaze, his eyes like the calm of a dark sea, her panic slowly but surely subsided, his staunch resolve seeping into her own eyes. 

Finally, in the steadiest manner he could muster, Soonyoung breathed out the question once more. 

"Is she my daughter?" A silence settled between the two, (y/n) slowly becoming lost as he stared into her soul, as if he were weaving his way back into her life, tangling the strings she had worked tirelessly to rid herself of, yet she couldn't find it in her to feel repulsed by his invasion at all. Instead, relief momentarily flooded her being. That peaceful understanding and comfort she had always felt in his arms reminding her of who he was. Her defenses had crumbled, and her mouth had fallen agape once more, voice coming out as nothing more than a whisper as she answered him. 

"Yes." 

His first reaction was to laugh. This disbelieving chuckle as he slowly pulled away from her, eyes immediately watering once more. His hands flew to his hair, yanking at the strands as a smile overtook his features. He was ecstatic. He had a daughter. A beautiful, lovely daughter outside waiting for his return. He had a daughter with the girl he promised himself he would one day start a family with. 

(y/n) had slapped a hand over her mouth as Soonyoung separated from her, a loud sob threatening to leave her. At some point, she lost the strength in her legs and collapsed on the edge of her bed, crying into her hand as Soonyoung considered the newfound information. 

He was beyond happy to have Chaerim, though he sat there processing the weight of such a discovery. He had fallen to the ground soon after, on his knees as tears streamed down his face. 

"I have a daughter," he spoke aloud, hands gripping at the carpeting beneath him. "I have a daughter." He crawled over to (y/n), hands shooting up to her face as his thumbs brushed over the tears in her eyes. "(y/n), we have a daughter!" His hands went everywhere, brushing back her hair, smoothing out her shirt, running over the goosebumps on her arms. "We have a daughter…" His head rested on her thighs in between where her hands rested on her lap. "Why am I only just finding out on her fifth birthday? Why have you all been lying to me?"

He sat up again, staring at (y/n), awaiting any sort of response, but she sat there sniffling, quietly sobbing to herself. He didn't know for how long he stared at her before she finally spoke, voice broken and defeated. 

"You left me…" She couldn't meet his gaze, staring down at where he had scooped her hands into his own. The sight brought another wave of sadness through her, having to bite back the fresh tears wanting to be shed. "You left me. I begged you to give me a chance. Give us a chance. And you left me." His thumbs brushed over her wrists, encouraging her to keep talking. "Not only that, but you stopped talking to all of us. I know you felt bad about leaving in the first place. I know you thought it'd be better to just disappear from our lives than make us deal with long distance and time difference, but it was still painful, Soonyoung." He shut his eyes, laying his head back into her lap where she began absentmindedly fiddling with the messy strands of his hair. "And then I found out I was pregnant and… I was terrified. I just…" She stopped, clearing her throat from the dejection riddling her voice. "You chose to follow your dreams. That didn't include Chaerim and I. I didn't want to drag you back into this life you didn't want." 

"Baby, no," he whined, sitting back on his heels and tugging (y/n) down from her bed and onto the floor with him, cradling her weakened body in his arms. "You both are my dream. You're my fantasy. You're the only thing I've ever wanted in life." He pressed his lips wherever he could reach, mumbling between each and every kiss. "I never meant to make you think otherwise. I just wanted you to be happy."

"You make me happy, idiot," she countered, the loudest thing she's said in the past few minutes, startling Soonyoung for a moment. "And I didn't want to tell you this month because… you have that job offer, and Chaerim and I will only be a burden to you."

"(y/n), I couldn't care less about that damn job offer." She pulled away from his shoulder, meeting his unexpectedly passionate gaze, brows furrowed and ever so determined. He squeezed her tighter in his arms. "I have a family right here. Do you understand how…thrilled I am?" Another tear slipped from his eye, though this one was paired with a genuinely warm and blithe grin, a sight that brought a smile of her own to (y/n)'s face, giggling as he pressed his forehead against hers again. "I was already happy to have reunited with you, and to have met Chaerim, but now…" He chuckled, biting his lip a second after to mute the bubbly feeling in his chest. "Now she's my daughter. She's mine." 

His eyes were so incredibly mirthful, shining with unshed tears and unadulterated glee. She couldn't help but to smile at his happiness, pressing her hands against his cheeks and rubbing her nose against his own. The way he hugged her, fingers gripping her as if an extra measure to keep her close to him, reminded them of their youth. Their youth and the love they once held for each other. Their love that hadn't faded. Their love that persisted through time, distance, and every hurdle life has thrown their way. 

"But your degree–" She started, but Soonyoung cut her off immediately. 

"To hell with my degree, (y/n)! Holy shit, I'm a father!" He buried himself into her hair, drawing her even closer to his chest, holding her so closely to where her ear pressed against his torso, right over where his heart beat so rapidly within him. Though hesitant, she wrapped her arms around his body, hugging him back. Giggles and tears and happy sighs left them both, wandering hands squeezing any part of their person they could grab, wanting so much of the other that it almost didn't make sense. "I'm staying."

"What?"

"I'm staying." She pulled away to meet his gaze, so sure and earnest as he nodded at her confused eyes. "I can't leave you again. I physically can't. Even if you don't accept me as your lover anymore, I can't bear to be so far away from you again." Her heart fluttered at his confession, going speechless once more, allowing him to continue on. "Plus, I have Chaerim now. I need to be here for her. I have to make up for lost time." 

"Y-you're staying?" It was the only thing her overwhelmed brain could come up with, not even able to process the heart fluttering and adoring gaze Soonyoung looked at her with.

"I'm staying. I couldn't care less about a job offer or my degree or anything else. None of it matters. I just need you and Chaerim. And I can't believe it took me 6 years to realize this."

Immediately, another sob broke out, and even more tears spilled from her eyes. Tears that Soonyoung swiped away as quickly as they appeared, giggling at her with such loving eyes. Though as she quieted down and he had a moment to his thoughts, he swallowed down the lump in his throat and shut his eyes. 

"I love you, (y/n). So much. So, so fucking much... I'm so sorry for what I've made you go through. I should've been here this entire time. I shouldn't have given up on us. I'm so sorry." He could've said more, but she shook her head at him, cradling his face again, encouraging him to open his eyes and meet hers. 

"I forgive you, Soonyoung." He blinked at her words, eyes darting between her own as if looking for any falsitude in her statement. 

"You do?" He asked. She nodded at him. 

"Just please don't leave me again." 

"I'd never dream of it." 

Her eyes shone with such fondness, grin tugging at the corners of her lips as she stroked back Soonyoung's hair, properly admiring his grown features for the first time since he came back. Something she hadn't granted herself the privilege of doing so before, for fear of falling in love and being abandoned again. Though now she was sure, with that devoted glimmer in his eye and that dumb in love smile stretched on his face, that he truly was staying this time around. 

That's what motivated her to lean forward and press a chaste, yet affectionate kiss to his lips, separating before he could respond to it.

"I love you, too, Soonyoung." A short bout of silence fell between the two, Soonyoung staring at her blankly as she giggled and continued to play with his hair. Though soon enough, he came to his senses, hand cupping her cheek and drawing her into him again for another kiss. A better kiss. One that he poured his entire heart and soul into. One that he hoped conveyed what his words couldn't. How regretful he is. How relieved he is. How absolutely in love he is.

His hand stroked over her face, fingers slipping into her hair as he brought her even closer to him, arm tightening around her waist and pressing her against him. The only thing that stopped their kiss was their smiling, laughs that bubbled out of them both. She continued littering kisses onto him, even more giggles slipping from his mouth. Delighted laughs that filled the room and her heart. He had felt so at ease and so loved that he almost hadn't acknowledged the faint knock at the doorway, the ajar door slowly rolling wider to reveal Chaerim peeking in. 

"Mommy, Aunt Jihyo is asking if you guys are okay." It was the first time Soonyoung was seeing Chaerim since the revelation, but he couldn't have felt happier seeing the girl than right now. Looking at her before him right at this moment felt so obvious. He couldn't believe he even doubted himself. He couldn't believe he went along with Jihyo and Seokmin's words. He couldn't believe he didn't immediately know for a fact that she was his own flesh and blood. 

"Yes, baby, we're okay," (y/n) responded, laying her head against Soonyoung happily. 

Chaerim stood there for a moment more, twiddling with the stray lace of her princess gown as she looked between the two. 

"Does he know the secret?" His heart twisted at her words, looking over to (y/n) with an unreadable expression. A short breath of air expelled from her nose as she nodded. 

"Yes." 

At her mother's words, Chaerim came walking over to him. For the first time since he ever even met her, this was the first sign of hesitance she'd ever displayed—the momentary stingray panic aside. Once she stood in front of him, she extended her hand out, just as she had done when they first met. 

"Hi daddy, my name is Chaerim. I'm 5 years old. My favorite color is yellow. I love you." He felt his heart shatter and rebuild from her words alone, perhaps more than once, because how else could he have reacted to such a sweet and rehearsed statement, as if she had prepared her whole life for this very moment. His lip quivered, something (y/n) didn't miss as she slipped away from his lap, hand softly rubbing his back encouragingly. He cleared his throat and wrapped his hand around her offered one, smiling whilst attempting to mask the sheen of tears coating his eyes. 

"Hi sunshine, it's nice to meet you. I'm your dad." After the quaint handshake, she slowly opened her arms out to him. And the minute he brought her into his arms was the moment every last ounce of his tears spilled, whatever was left from his moment with (y/n) now being used as he hugged his daughter knowingly for the first time. (y/n) sat on the sidelines, though only for a minute before Soonyoung was dragging her into the hug with them, the two girls patting his back soothingly as he wept aloud.

Though he wasn't alone, Jihyo crying as well as she texted Seokmin the details, watching the scene from the safety of the doorway. 

Seungcheol was the first of the boys to arrive, just in time to come across the disaster which had transpired before his arrival.

Chaerim had opened her largest gift, the one given to her by her dad. And to (y/n)'s dismay, it was a large and elaborate tunnel system. Although it was soft and foldable, it was still something she couldn't believe Soonyoung would even consider buying considering the state of their apartment. But Chaerim was happy, crawling through the tubed labyrinth, giggles reverberating off the walls. 

Though the mayhem Seungcheol walked in on was mere moments after Soonyoung wanted to try out his gift as well, and now found himself stuck in one of the tubes. Jihyo and (y/n) attempted to yank him out from the outside, while Chaerim continued her incessant giggling, giving up on pushing Soonyoung from within and was now peppering tiny kisses all over his face. 

Luckily, Seungcheol was the one to free the man out of the tunnel, much to the child's dismay, until he handed her his gift: an easel set with a large notepad for a canvas.

She doodled away as the three of them explained the events that had occurred that day, Seungcheol at first shocked at it all, though nodding in understanding soon after. 

"It makes much more sense than Jihoon's assumption that you went out and found a Soonyoung doppelganger, because that girl is a carbon copy of Soonyoung, I swear." 

Jeonghan wasn't surprised in the slightest once he had arrived, only shocked that it took Soonyoung this long to realize that the lactose intolerant little girl with sharp eyes and round cheeks wasn't his child. 

Joshua, Junhui, and Wonwoo only congratulated the two, Jihoon still defending his doppelganger story, saying it could have been true.

Minghao and Mingyu also similarly did not show much reaction to it, somehow far more preoccupied with the little girl playing with them.

Vernon, Seungkwan, and Chan were perhaps the most interested in the circumstances, questioning how she had kept it a secret from them for so long, how they hadn't figured it out on their own, what she was going to do with Soonyoung now. 

"I guess I'll give him a second chance," she responded, hugging his arm and laying her head on his shoulder. Their hands intertwined, and Soonyoung smiled at the familiar warmth that emanated from her touch, seeping into his skin and sending waves of content satisfaction through him. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and a blush settled over his cheeks, reminding him that that schoolboy crush he had on (y/n) never left, nor would it ever. 

Seokmin had arrived later on, immediately coming over to congratulate the two, as well as quietly apologize to Soonyoung for hiding his daughter from him. 

"You have to understand, man, I meant no harm. We didn't know your intentions. We needed to protect them, you know?" He muttered quietly, looking around the room as if he were dealing with classified information. "I didn't even know until Jihyo was legit scolding me for bringing you over. You gotta believe me, dude."

"I understand, man, I understand," Soonyoung replied, wrapping an arm around Seokmin and mimicking his overly suspicious mannerisms. Though with the secret out and about, he had to admit that he felt significantly closer to his former best friend, glad to know that his daughter has such an amazing godfather. 

The party soon ended and the boys all flooded out of the apartment. Jihyo was the last to leave after helping (y/n) put Chaerim to sleep. 

"Goodnight, you two!" She waved at the two lovers as she shut the door behind her. Soonyoung had also planned to leave, not wanting to overstay his welcome, but (y/n) continued to hold him in a tight hug, refusing to let go. 

"Stay," she insisted. Soonyoung would have laughed at her clinginess, though he heard the hint of fear in her voice, and he immediately understood the clinginess. 

"Okay, baby, I'll stay." Guilt riddled his body the entire way to bed. He had to keep reassuring her he wasn't going anywhere, keeping a hand on her at all times.

He washed her hair for her, letting her hug him while the warm water of the shower fell down their bodies. He helped her get changed, whispering sweet nothings to her the entire process. He held her hand as they got into bed, and once settled, she had immediately clung to him again, limbs tangling together as she buried her face into his shirt. And Soonyoung could only softly shush her, assure her that he's not going anywhere.

His hands combed through her hair, littering kisses on her forehead, muttering his love for her through soft whispers. Seeing the state she was in had a pit of lament settling at the base of his stomach, grimacing at his past misdeeds, remembering the cruel way he left her with nothing more than a final forlorn kiss. 

"I'm sorry," he spoke, hands momentarily stilling in her locks. "I'm so sorry, (y/n). I could apologize every second of every day for the rest of our lives, but it would never amount to how apologetic I truly feel. How much I regret leaving you." He pressed another reassuring kiss on her skin, a shaky intake of air once he separated from her. "I regret it so much. I regret ever doubting our love and I'll never forgive myself for that." He felt her hand splay out on his chest, right over his heart. "(y/n), you're the only thing I live for. You're the only thing in my life that matters." He paused, quickly reconsidering his words before stuttering out his correction. "You and Chaerim, I mean, but…"

He stopped talking as she laughed softly at his words, pulling away from him so she could actually study his face. He was speechless for a second, reminded of a few days ago during their phone call. How he had wished for this exact moment to come to fruition. To hold her in his arms once more, feel her falling asleep in his hold, watch that peaceful state of hers he could only see at night. When she'd enter deep sleep, the tension of the day washing away, her strong persona, her brave facade, all of those pretenses she put up for the world disappearing. And he was the only person she trusted in such a vulnerable state—and he left her. 

"I'm just… I left you. I was so lost and I thought I could find myself. I thought you didn't deserve someone as lost as I was. It just seemed easier to give you up so you wouldn't have to waste your life with a loser like me… I'm sorry." 

Her eyes twinkled under the moonlight, watching Soonyoung as he fumbled over incessant apologies.

When he had gone silent, she shuffled closer to him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his nose. She smiled when it scrunched, and then she pressed a kiss to his cheek. His jaw. His chin. The corner of his mouth. And then finally a kiss to his lips. A sweet, affectionate kiss. Short and simple, but still enough to leave Soonyoung flustered and motionless. 

"Soonyoung, love, I forgive you."

"I know you say that, but… I just feel like it's not enough. It doesn't make up for what I've done to you. I don't–" Another kiss, though this time, one that Soonyoung reciprocates just as fondly as her. 

"You've already apologized to me countless times." At the sight of his confused face, she grinned. "The first day, when Seokmin brought you to me." Soonyoung nodded at this, though he felt he was too emotional to properly convey his feelings. Plus, he mostly made her cry, so it didn't feel like a valid apology to him. "The night you boys went out drinking." 

"What?" Soonyoung furrowed his brows at this, making (y/n) smile. She brushed back his hair comfortingly, nodding her head in confirmation. 

"2 AM, you called me. Drunk out of your mind, crying and babbling to the point that I could barely understand you." Soonyoung winced at this, quietly groaning to himself as he remembered the night at the bar and how fragmented his memory was. "I laid there listening to you pour out your heart to me." He peeked over from where he wallowed in his own self pity, seeing the tenderness in her expression as she admired him wholeheartedly. "You told me about how much you regretted leaving me. How much it hurt you to leave me behind. The pain you endured throughout those 6 years away. You apologized so much that I had to beg you to calm down." At this, he hid himself again, this time burying his face into his pillow with a loud groan. "And then you said you love me." He felt her fingers tracing images on his arm; circles and stars and hearts. "You said you never stopped loving me. That I was the love of your life, and you'd forever mourn losing me. You probably said I love you just as many times as you apologized, until I myself was crying.

"And then you said… that even if Chaerim wasn't yours, you'd love her as if she were." He peeked out from his pillow to where a bittersweet smile greeted him. "That you love her like you love me. And you wished you had a family like ours. You said we were your happiness. Your dream life that you had always wanted." He pouts at this, realizing his drunk self was probably more articulate than he could ever be when sober. She lifted the arm she had drawn invisible patterns into, nestling herself against him before resting his limb over her.

"And the third time was as I was falling asleep." She had rested her head on his heart again, humming at the soothing rhythm it emanated. "I thought I was dreaming. Hearing the love of my life say such sweet words to me. Such a blissful moment." She sighed dreamily, squeezing his waist in a small hug. "I only realized it was real when I heard my phone beep, indicating you hung up." 

"I'm so sorry, my love, I didn't mean to wake you," he fussed, but she only shushed him. 

"No more apologies." Another kiss to his lips had him going silent, nodding along to her words. With another laugh his way, she curled up against him once more, cozying up in the warmth of her soulmate for the first time in six years. "So yes, I forgive you. I really do." 

"Thank you, (y/n)." She pressed one last kiss on his chest, one right above his heart. Like magic, he felt the wounds which have tormented him for years to come slowly but surely heal, tending to itself as she nurtured his love once more. A sigh of relief puffed out of his lips, one tear slipping from his eye as he savored the exhilarating serenity of the moment. Of being with his beloved again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

(a/n): welcome to the end of this. if you made it, congratulations! thank you for reading my stuff! i appreciate it greatly! i didn't expect for this to be as big as it wound up being. as of right now, it is the longest fic i have published. im happy with how it came out though. hopefully i have more stories planned for the future! thanks for reading!

#kvanity #k-labels #soonyoung x reader #kwon soonyoung x reader #hoshi x reader #soonyoung fanfiction #kwon soonyoung fanfic #hoshi fanfiction #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfiction #svt x reader #svt fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop x reader #soonyoung fanfic #soonyoung angst #soonyoung fluff #hoshi angst #hoshi fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #kwon soonyoung angst #kwon soonyoung fluff

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 297.brb x oc

a/n: A BIT SHORT BECAUSE OF A BLAACKOUT!!!(comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

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/267/268/269/270/271/272/273/274/275/276/277/278/279/280/281/282/283/284/285/286/287/288/289/290/291/292/293/294/295/296

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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-

Nicole was very bright for a one year old, truly bright. Her doctors mentioned it more than once and Bea could see it. Nikki was her little companion the whole Saturday - unfortunately the picnic was canceled because of heavy,heavy rain - so they just stayed home once they got back from the twins’ check up.

When the doctor was checking on the twins, Nicole sat up on a chair, patiently, unmoving but with her eyes locked on her mother and her siblings.

And her heart lurched because it was the same iron focus she had seen on Rooster.

Now that they were back home and the twins were asleep,she was left alone with Nicole and the dogs. Nicole was on the floor playing with blocks and the dogs - at least Jack and Jolene - were with them…Eleanor was obviously at the door, watching.

The rain outside drummed heavily on the windows as Beatrice watched Nicole, engrossed in her play. The little one's dexterity with the colorful blocks was surprising for her age. As Nikki stacked them with an impressive precision, Beatrice couldn't help but marvel at her daughter's intelligence.

"Look at you, my little architect," Beatrice whispered with a smile, her heart swelling with pride. She leaned back on the couch, a soft sigh escaping her. The room was filled with the gentle sounds of Nikki's play and the movie…what movie was it?

She doesn’t know. She’s not really paying attention.

She was remembering, when she left that morning, some neighbors approaching Miranda and questioning her about the giant skeleton and the Halloween decor in the middle of summer and with the threat of rain in the upcoming weeks.

Miranda, maybe because she saw Beatrice leaving with her car, managed to talk loud enough for her to hear, saying that it’s ‘never too soon for halloween!’

Miranda's audacity to set up Halloween decorations in the middle of summer seemed like more than just an eccentric choice. It felt like a deliberate attempt to disrupt the tranquility of the neighborhood, perhaps even a veiled message to Beatrice. 

With a resigned sigh, Beatrice decided to let go of the unsettling thoughts for the moment. She focused her attention on Nikki, captivated by the one-year-old's innate curiosity and intelligence.

As Nikki continued to play, Beatrice couldn't help but marvel at the subtle ways in which her daughter mirrored Rooster's characteristics. The iron focus she displayed, reminiscent of her deployed husband, was a poignant reminder of the deep connection between parent and child.

Her hair too, now it was that golden brown like her husband’s…and her lips were getting poutier. Just like Rooster’s. 

She rubs her chin, it’s been a few days since they talked which was alright, she assumed. They’ve been out of contact before, she knew he’d talk when he could and since this mission was…a bit loose when it comes to receiving calls and messages, then she knew he’d be fine.

She just purses her lips, rubbing her wedding band on her finger, “...your dad is a very brave man,Nikki.” and the toddler stops and looks back, connecting the words in her brain and muttering a ‘dada?’ in response to Beatrice’s words.

Beatrice smiled, her eyes locking with Nikki's. "Yes, sweetheart, dada. He's out there doing something very important, but he'll be back soon. And until then, it's you, me, your siblings and the dogs."

Nikki's face lit up with a bright smile, with one more teeth slowly peeking out of her gums before she baby babbled away.But she chews her lower lip once Nikki looks away ‘...should I call Ev?” she reaches for her phone ‘...no,maybe not’ she hovers her hand above her phone, fingers twitching before she relents and grabs it.

Beatrice unlocked her phone, scrolling through the contacts. Her thumb hesitated over Ev's name, uncertainty creeping in. 

She shook her head, dismissing the thought momentarily. Instead, Beatrice found herself navigating to the gallery, scrolling through photos of the family, including the ones from their wedding - she’d never delete these even if they had a physical copy a few inches from her…on the wall. 

Nikki, having abandoned her blocks, crawled over to where Beatrice sat on the couch. The toddler's curiosity piqued by the glow of the phone screen, she reached out with tiny fingers, trying to touch the Ninja Turtle phone case.

Beatrice chuckled, shifting the phone slightly out of Nikki's reach. "You want to see, too, huh?" She selected a photo of the twins, their identical faces crinkled in sleep, peaceful in their crib. "Look, that's your brother and sister. They're dreaming away right now."

Nikki's eyes widened with curiosity as she gazed at the photo. Her fingers tried to grasp at the image, as if trying to understand the concept of her siblings being in the phone.

With a gentle smile, Beatrice continued scrolling through the pictures, “And this, is your dad and I…when we got married, see?” she zooms in “Doesn’t daddy look handsome?”

Nikki, though too young to fully comprehend, seemed captivated by the images on the phone. Her eyes followed the figures on the screen, and her tiny fingers occasionally reached out, as if trying to touch the familiar faces within the digital frames.

Beatrice chuckled, her heart warmed by the innocence of her daughter. "That's your daddy and mommy. We were so happy that day, and you know what?“

Nikki tilted her head, her gaze shifting between the screen and Beatrice's face. Her baby babble filled the room, adding a delightful soundtrack to the nostalgic moment.

Beatrice's phone buzzed with an incoming call, momentarily pulling her attention away from Nikki. Glancing at the screen, she saw it was from Ev. She hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether to answer, but ultimately pressed the accept call button.

"I was about to call you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, hah,” Beatrice picks Nicole one handed and places her on her lap, “Since our picnic was canceled, wanted to chat a bit.”

Ev's voice came through the phone with a warm, familiar tone. "Yea. Bad weather. It’s fine, we can do it some other day.”

Beatrice nodded, even though Ev couldn't see her. "Yeah, definitely. Weather can be so unpredictable sometimes. How's everything on your end?"

Ev sighed, the sound carrying through the phone. "Busy as usual. You know how it is. But I can't complain. JJ is fine, sleeping right now. How about you? "

Beatrice leaned back against the couch, holding Nikki in her lap as the toddler played with a strand of Beatrice's hair. "Oh, you know, the usual chaos. The twins are keeping me on my toes, and Nikki here is exploring the wonders of the world one block at a time."

Ev chuckled. "Sounds eventful."

"I bet," Beatrice replied, glancing at the photo of Rooster and her on the phone screen. "Speaking of the mission, how's Jake doing? I know communication has been a bit scarce lately. Have you two talked?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Ev responded. "He's doing fine. You know him. He told me about the breach. Security concerns and rumors circulating among the team."

Beatrice's expression shifted, concern knitting her brows together. "What…do you take from it?”

Ev hesitated, choosing her words carefully. "Well…I don’t know Bea. My dad hasn’t talked about it to me." and her dad was a vice admiral, so that said a lot “Jake just mentioned that and that everyone is worried. Rooster is managing everything though,from what Jake told me.”

"Yeah, Rooster and I talked about it during our last call. It's a bit unnerving, you know? Not knowing the full picture, especially with the breach."

Evelyn moved a bit on the other end and she sighed. "It's tough being on the sidelines, not knowing all the details. But Rooster is strong, and he's leading the team. They'll get through this."

"I know," Beatrice replied, a mixture of pride and concern in her voice. "It's just hard not being able to do anything from here. I trust Rooster, but the uncertainty is...unsettling."

“It always is.”

“Does this happen often?”

“Breaches?” she asks “I don’t think so, this…well if this is confirmed a breach and not a mishap, I know that it’s going to be messy.”

Beatrice sighed, her gaze drifting to the photo of Rooster on her phone screen. "Will…he be okay in this? He’s the leader of the mission,Ev.”

Evelyn exhales “...Rooster can handle it, Bea. He's been through tough missions before.-”

“But nothing like this.”

“I know it's hard. But Rooster is pretty smart. And he's got the whole team looking out for each other, if need be, they’ll speak up,Bea."

Beatrice nodded, even if Evelyn couldn’t see it,her fingers unconsciously tracing patterns on Nikki's back. "I know, Ev. It's just...hard. You know how it is. It's like being on a rollercoaster that never stops."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if Evelyn was choosing her words carefully. "Yeah." another pause “I do. and Beatrice knew it was more than just Jake, she probably went through heavy stuff with her dad too “Do you want my opinion?”

“Please.”

Evelyn's voice softened on the other end of the line. "Bea, I know this is tough. Rooster is your husband, and the mission is putting him in a difficult position. But you need to trust him, trust in his abilities and the team he's leading."

Beatrice sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back on the couch. "I do trust him, Ev. It's just...this uncertainty, not knowing what's happening. And what if there's something more going on that he can't share?"

Evelyn's response was measured, "Beatrice, the military operates on a need-to-know basis. There are times when even those involved in a mission might not know the full picture. Rooster has a responsibility to the team, to the mission's success, and sometimes that means certain details are classified."

"...you are right, I’m being stupid," Beatrice replied, her fingers nervously tapping on the edge of her phone. "But what if he's in danger, and we don't even know the extent of it? What if something happens, and I'm just here, waiting, unable to do anything?"

Evelyn chuckles a bit “Calm down,Bea.You can't control everything, Bea. It's a harsh reality, but it's the truth. All you can do is trust Rooster, support him emotionally, and be there for him when he needs it. That’s all."

Beatrice nodded, her eyes fixed on the photo of Rooster when he was younger with his father on the wall. "I know, Ev. It's just hard not being able to do more. And with the breach... I can't shake off this feeling that something is really wrong. Am I paranoid?"

“No you are not paranoid,” she says softly "Bea, it's natural to feel worried, especially when it involves someone you love. It’ll be alright."

Beatrice took a deep breath, attempting to steady her racing thoughts. "I know you're right, Ev. It's just hard to shake off this feeling of unease."

"That's understandable. It's the fear of the unknown," Evelyn responded. "Focus on what you can control,alright?"

Beatrice nodded, a flicker of gratitude in her voice. "You're right, Ev. ..is that what you’ve been doing?"

A pause.

“Yes.”

“Okay, that…” A small smile tugged at the corners of Beatrice's lips. "That helps, Ev. And I'm grateful for that. That I’m not the only one…thinking, you know?."

“As someone who grew in a Navy household and whose father was always…out, that's sometimes our default.” her friend says “Do you want me to come over?”

“In this rain?No Ev, thank you.” she says, letting Nicole lie on top of her thighs while playing with a toy, “You can stay home, this weather will only get worse.”

Evelyn sighed on the other end of the line. "Alright, Bea. But promise me you'll reach out if you need anything. Don't hesitate. I mean it."

Beatrice's gaze shifted from the photo on the wall to the raindrops tracing intricate patterns on the window. "Will you do the same?"

“...yeah,I will.” both women smiled, even if they couldn’t see each other “Thanks,Bea.”

“Anytime–” there was a sudden crash outside,loud and she could see how the lights flickered for a second as whatever it was hit the ground. The rain was heavy enough to muffle the sound but damn she could hear it.

She adjusted Nicole on her hold, stepping over the dogs and approaching the window, trying to see anything was a challenge…but her eyes widened once she found the culprit “Ev.”

“Yeah?”

‘Miranda’s giant skeleton is down." Beatrice exclaimed, her voice a mix of surprise and amusement. Despite the worry that had gripped her moments ago, the unexpected spectacle outside managed to inject a dose of humor into the conversation.

Evelyn's laughter echoed through the phone. "Well, that's a sight. Do you think it was the wind or an act of revenge from the neighborhood for the Halloween invasion?"

Beatrice chuckled, watching the rain cascade down the window. "I'm leaning towards revenge from the rain. The weather is pretty wild right now. I can't believe she set that thing up so early, though."

"Maybe this is the universe's way of telling her it's not Halloween yet," Evelyn mused. “And to stop being a bitch.”

“You think so?”

“Nah, but that was pretty funny.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

[desires-of-chain]

Hi just popping in again

To say how to come there is no yandere link x reader smut tags or link x reader smut tags or search results I find that horrifying.

Also this will let you know because I've seen some people underage try to go to your page

I am 22 years old today my Brith day so I want to also give you a gift

Imagine the links as a shark pod or just a shark and merman pod and they just noticed wind chirp more and going up to the surface to see him get scolded by the reader who's like a mother figure on him cuz he imprinted on her. And the reader keeps them from the scientists and tells him he has to be careful. Or he gets cought.

Then the links see a scientist walking over in the reader hides wind

As a scientist says has they seen the merman they've been looking for or at least the Cub or guppy wherever you call it

And she say no but maby the should move West.

They're so touched by that that all of them have basically claimed her as there mates and go talk to the others and they all semi dislike make her theirs

And when reader goes to meet wind

For his usly snake and bounding time she in a bathing suit

Finds out that she's surrounded by the links and are Coner her in the mermaid breeding pool that they made. And make sure she can breathe underwater whiling they are all pounding into her making her there's and Makin her into a cock hoe and can only thinks about getting fucked and breed by them. As they Mark he as there's 🤤

As our little grump grumpy beIN Wacth by the impas as he was wanting some mommy and son time actually when the snacks were involved.

From 🐵 Aron

The reason why I or some others don't really put N/SFW in the tags is that Tumblr completely fucked up their entire tagging system when we respond to asks. While yes, we can still tag it and have it hidden; however, Tumblr likes to randomly flag them even if it's just erotica, and it's an absolute bitch to deal with. From a previous ask a long while ago, you can't filter n/sfw since it doesn't pick up on the '/' at all. Unfortunately, you gotta work your way around with Tumblr's tagging system. Can't always win, sadly.

Some people do not want to see that smack dab in their faces, so I work my way around with the tags. I also don't want to flood the link x reader tags like crazy, especially when it's just asks and not a drabble/fic/short. If people want to share whatever they wrote here on their main blog, they can go for it; I mean, it's not gonna make me upset if they do; it's their writing.

Now, I put content warnings on the asks here to specify if it's triggering to someone or something that might not be someone's cup of tea. For example: Breeding, Yandere, Omegaverse, etc. That way, it can be filtered, or someone can add it to their filter.

With minors -sigh- sometimes, we can't always win; they're gonna find their way around the blocked wall and still be able to read mine or others' stuff. Imma do my best to keep them from interacting or following my nsfw blog either way. It ain't a win, but at least it's something.

Also, HAPPY BIRFDAY!!! I hope you're having a great day!

Thank you for the gift; you didn't have to on your birthday, but thank you!

The scientist better back tf up from the mers, or else somebody is gon get hurt! Don't know why, but I busted out laughing at 'cock hoe.'

Poor Wind, but at least he gets spoiled by the Impas uwu

#.bea answers #🐵 anon #smut #cw: breeding

[maladaptivedongdreamer]

Cassandra Gemini: Multiple Spouse Wounds

Dio Brando x fem!Reader (4.2 k words)

"No there's no light,

In the darkest of your furthest reaches."

Warnings: Reader is female and a prostitute; crude languange; blood and misery uwu; Dio is a total dick, spoiler alert; the ending might qualify as Dead Dove?

I think I bit more than I could chew with this one: since I love these types of stories, I got carried away. I reckon that the pacing is not the greatest, nor is the build-up. There is a lot of "tell", not as much "show" as I'd like. This one-shot could one day become a long fic, in which I would explore more of the relationship between Reader and Dio and Reader's background. However, I had a blast writing this, which is all that I care about at the moment. Enjoy. Or not. Like, subscribe and click that notification bell.

He had booked you for the whole night, much to Madame De Duchny's delight. The other girls watched you close the door to the suite with a sigh of envy. Not that it was unusual for Dio to be so generous: at least twice a month he would come to London and spend some time with you; considering your predicament, the only way he could do so was by paying a decent amount of money to secure your company and undivided attention. You had to admit to yourself that it made you feel special.

That's why you would make sure that everything was perfect: you took a long bath, scrubbing at every inch of your body, and applied an oriental perfumed oil; Madame herself helped you with your hair - an honor not many girls have been granted.

"I think this young gentleman is in love with you", she said, as she pinned one of your braids on the top of your head. You felt your cheeks burn as you lowered your eyes. Madame De Duchny laughed at your virginal reaction: the irony of your maidenly shyness in a place like that wasn't lost on her. Maybe that was why she took a liking to you. She clapped her hands like a delighted overgrown toddler and took a step back to admire her work. "From what I've heard, he's pretty rich as well", she added.

You bit your lip and didn't reply to her insinuation. When you first met him, he was not.

You had met Dio Brando years prior. Your mom had sent you to work at the closest tavern, so that you could support your family; specifically, your step-father's alcohol addiction. You were barely fourteen at the time, yet most of the greasy men that hanged around at the "Rose of Thames" were already ogling you. Their putrid breaths as they smelled your hair when you brought them their booze would haunt you for the rest of your life. Their laughter echoing in your ears as you hastily shied away from them was the companion of your long working hours.

When you complained with your mother about the tavern's attendees, she scoffed, a bitter smile forming on her pale lips. "If you prefer, I can ask Madame De Duchny to take you in. I'm sure there's plenty of men who would kill to put their hands on such a fresh piece of meat". Her crude words made you tear up: you learned not to bring up any more complaints about your awful working conditions.

The day you met Dio you weren't feeling your best. Your mother's husband had fallen sick, so the meagre amount of money that you had in the house had been spent on decent food and medical attention. You hadn't been eating in a while, so you were feeling light-headed. Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, the owners of the "Rose" , didn't seem to notice the state you were in and you were too shy to ask for a piece of bread. Not that they have been mistreating you, but they were business people and hard workers with little to no sympathy towards the others. Unless they could make them money, of course: the couple seemed to know everything about what was going on at the docks nearby, every well-kept secret was known by them. You had seen distinguished gentlemen enter the tavern and pay a fair amount of money for the most precious of goods the Robinsons could offer: information.

At first, you thought that Dio, in spite of his young age, was one of those people. When he sat at a table and ordered a full dinner and a pint of cider, you found yourself intrigued by his mature demeanor: his warm topaz irises were inspecting the place, as if he was looking for someone, and when he spoke his voice was firm. How much older than you could he have been? You brought him his dinner and your mouth let out a gasp of surprise: a chessboard had been placed on the sticky wooden table, and sitting in front of the blond boy was a man three times his age, yelling profanities.

The boy had raised his head to look at you as you placed his meal in front of him. A sudden burst of anger from his chess opponent made you jolt and you almost spilled some of the cider on the table, adding to the stickiness of it. You mumbled an apology and bowed your head at the customers, but before you could raise your head from your curtsey, a knife had been lodged into the table, so close to the older man's hand, that you were sure that he had been wounded.

Everyone in the tavern stood silent and turned around to observe the scene, ready to intervene. You could feel Mrs. Robinson's eyes burning through your skull, but you were unable to move: frozen in place, your eyes were darting from the blonde boy's frame to the old man, waiting for something to happen. Finally, the old man bursted out laughing, his head thrown back as he - once more - slammed his closed fist on the table. Some of the wooden pieces of chess fell from the tremor. In spite of his aggressive gesture, the boy seemed relieved: his shoulders relaxed as he breathed out; with a corner of your eye, you could see a smile forming on his lips.

"Brando, you bastard!" the man said as he pulled a small leather pouch from a pocket in his double-breasted jacket; he threw some coins on the table towards the boy as he rose up on his feet. "One day, I'll find out your secret! Unless you end up dead on the bottom of the river first, that's it." The man emptied his pint in a single gulp and gave it to you. "I am sorry for startling you, dear. Tell Mrs. Robinson I'm paying for this boy's dinner, and bring me another beer." You nodded and mumbled a trembling "yes, Sir" as the man walked towards another table, where his drinking companions saluted him with consoling pats on his back.

You were about to leave, when the boy stopped you by grabbing you by your wrist. Without saying another word, he let you go and started eating his dinner. When you felt the cold metal of a coin pressed against your skin, under your sleeve, your cheeks turned as bright red as poppies. You didn't even manage to mutter your gratitude, before Mrs. Robinson yelled your name from the counter.

Following that day, Dio Brando kept coming to the "Rose of Thames" more frequently, and everytime he gave you something, unbeknownst to the Robinsons. This allowed you to buy some bread for your sustenance and keep a secret stash of money, hidden from your family. 

He never seemed to acknowledge your gratitude. That's why you decided to thank him properly, with a gesture that ultimately bound you together. With some of the money that you spared, in a matter of weeks you finally managed to buy a small piece of expensive fabric. After bargaining with the merchant, you brought home the crimson cotton batiste sample and a matching sewing thread. Since you were hiding your activity from your family, your work proceeded much slower than you hoped, only sewing during the rare occasions when you were alone. 

The day you finally completed the gift, your heart was racing. However, you soon realized that your plan was cracking from all fronts. To begin with, how were you supposed to give your present to him? What if he mocked you? What if he didn't like it? The item was humbly covered in an old newspaper. What if he didn't understand? What if he threw it away? 

As you approached him, you could feel your heart racing; you placed the tray on the table and served him carefully. He was alone: it was the right moment. You had hidden the package under your garments, tying it with a piece of string to your calf. Before serving him, you had hastily collected the package and placed it on the tray. 

"What is -." Before he could finish asking his question, you disappeared behind the counter. You felt as if you were going to feel sick. Even Mrs. Robinson noticed that something was off; she looked at you questioningly, with her head tilted to the side and squinting her eyes, like a lazily observing a potential prey. For the rest of the night, you worked as hard as ever, trying not to look in Dio's direction. When you noticed he was no longer sitting at the table, you felt your heart sink. 

That night, Dio was waiting for you to finish working. As you exited the tavern, yawning, you felt a hand grabbing you by your wrist. Before you could let out a scream, another hand had been placed on your mouth. "Be quiet", a familiar voice ordered. "It's me." As you slowly relaxed, the boy uncovered your mouth. He made you turn around to face him, his eyes meeting yours; blonde hair was framing his features, which reminded you of the angel statues that you've seen in Church. You never noticed how handsome he was and now that you finally did, you couldn't bear his topaz eyes inspecting you. You lowered your gaze, but the two of you were so close that wherever you looked, you couldn't avoid him. His neck, his chest, his arms: he was so close that he seemed to be everywhere. "What is this?" He asked again, taking the red fabric out of the pocket of his jacket. 

"A necktie, Sir", you muttered. 

"Why?" he immediately urged you with another question. His grip on your wrist tightened and you frowned from the pain, but he didn't loosen his hold on you. 

"To thank you, Sir." Silence followed. Your heart now seemed to have stopped beating as you waited for his reply. You dared to look up at him again and you almost let out another scream. His beautiful appearance was spoiled by anger: his brows furrowed together, his eyes as dark as the water of the Thames sloshing nearby; his lips were tight and when he finally spoke his words were cruel. 

"Your mother is a whore, isn't she?" You felt your lower lip tremble involuntarily as your throat tightened. Why was he being so mean to you? Seeing your reaction didn't seem to appease him; he continued with a vitriol filled smile, almost as if your annihilation was feeding him. "If you really want to thank me, I can think of a better way to do so." You pulled your arm from his grip, but his fingers only seemed to wrap tighter around your wrist. In response to your attempt, he drew you closer to him, as he enveloped your waist with his free arm. 

You turned your head to the side as he leaned closer to you. You felt the tears that had been building in your eyes roll down your cheeks as you pleaded. "Please, Sir. I am an honest girl. I just wanted to express my gratitude, for you have helped me when I needed it the most." He didn't reply, but you felt a huff of air caressing your ear and a chuckle. He let go of you and you took a step back to distance yourself from him. You couldn't look at him, so you kept your eyes low; your hands were grasping at the fabric of your skirt nervously. 

"I apologize", you heard. You rose your head in surprise, as the voice leaving Dio's lips was once again the firm and controlled one you'd heard for the past weeks. His appearance was also, once again, conforming to his usual demeanor: his traits were now relaxed in a confident smile and his topaz irises reflecting the moonlight were no longer darkened by rage. The transformation left you speechless. Did you just imagine everything? You nodded and bowed in response, incapable of articulating a word. 

He offered you his arm, which only made your atonement grow. Seeing your hesitation, the corners of his lips rose in a smile. "I want to walk you home. It's late, and there are a lot of bad guys lurking in the shadows." 

You considered your options: could you trust him? He had the chance to assault you mere minutes earlier, but he stopped. Before waiting for a response, he took the initiative and, arm in arm, the two of you proceeded towards your place. 

During the walk, he chatted most of the time, whereas you couldn't say more than a word or two. He seemed to know a lot of things, as he told you many interesting facts. You could've listened to his voice for hours, no matter the subject of his soliloquy. He told you goodbye with a courtesy, taking his beret off his head, making you smile with his gallantry. His charming personality had intoxicated you , making your head spin and your heart flutter. Only when you finally laid down in your bed, you realized that he knew where you lived without you telling him. 

From that night on, Dio took a habit of walking you home. As you grew acquainted with his antics, you slowly let yourself open up to him. With time, your conversations became more personal, as you told him more about your family, your dreams and aspirations. 

"You want to become a seamstress, then?" he asked. You nodded enthusiastically. 

"And you, Dio?" He rarely spoke about himself, preferring to ask you questions, or chat about more impersonal matters. 

As he answered a shiver went down your spine: for the first time after that night when he confronted you about the tie, you saw the darkness in his eyes. "I want to take what's mine." You didn't say anything, as the intensity of his words took your breath away. 

"I wish you that you reach your end goals, then", you finally said. He turned around and smiled at you; you felt your lips naturally turn into a smile in response. 

As always, after showing the scariest aspects of his personality, he managed to delete every doubt that might have surged about his intentions with his angelic appearance and entertaining conversation. 

You heard that Dio's father had fallen sick from Mrs. Robinson. She whispered it to you confidentially as you took the tray with his usual dinner from her. You felt a sense of apprehension making its way through your chest. He never spoke about his family to you, but you could gather from various pieces of information that he let slip, that his father was alive. The fact that he never spoke about him made it clear to you that he wasn't exactly fond of his parent. However, his father's life being at stake had to be impacting him in some way. You were expecting for him to seem upset when he turned around to greet you, but he was the same Dio as always, with his beautiful features. If anything, it seemed as if the light in his eyes shined brighter than usual, making his warm irises look almost crimson. You thought that maybe he would talk to you that night, during your usual walk to your place. He didn't. 

In the next couple of days, you kept a closer look on him, trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe his father's condition was not as bad as Mrs. Robinson made it seem. 

Finally, before wishing you goodnight, a week later Dio announced to you the death of his father. For the first time ever, he was also wearing the necktie you made for him. You felt tears build up in your eyes and you covered your mouth in shock, incapable of finding the right words to comfort him. However, nothing in his expression seemed to betray any sort of grief. He acknowledged your condolences with words of gratitude and a bow, but you could swear he was smiling as he lowered his head. 

"I am leaving London", he announced. You felt a warm tear escape the barrier of your lower lid and roll down your cheek. You tried to hide by turning around, but he didn't let you. Grabbing you by the wrist, as he did that first night, but more gently, Dio pulled you against his chest and embraced you. With your head hidden, you allowed your tears to flow freely, wetting the coarse fabric of his coat. Finally, taking you by surprise, Dio placed a hand on your chin and lifted your head up, forcing you to look him in the eyes. When he placed his lips on yours, you felt your legs grow weaker and were thankful for his firm grip on your figure. The wind offered solace to your burning hot cheeks as his cold lips were stealing your first kiss. When he interrupted the kiss, you were no longer crying. He smiled, and took advantage of your silence to continue. "I doubt I will come back here any time soon. If everything goes according to plan, if I ever return I will not be the same Dio Brando you knew, a poor bastard with no money and no future." You tried to protest against his description of himself, but he talked over your shy muttered words. "I know that you can read and write", he continued. Your cheeks flushed red once again, happy that he would remember such a detail and ashamed of the unlikely circumstances of your education: as you spent most of your childhood in a brothel, all you knew you'd learnt there. One of your mother's colleagues was a fallen from grace governess, who was found having an affair with a nobleman; she had taught you how to write and read, and even lent you books. "I will write you a letter as soon as I can."

That night, you said your goodbyes. You had to wait years before you'd seen him again but he kept his promise and the two of you maintained a rich and constant correspondence. You were happy that he had been adopted by a rich family and that he no longer had to worry about day to day survival; he was going to college in prestigious institutions, he was cared for, well-fed and well-dressed. His dreams seemed to have come true. 

Unlike yours. The money from your work at the tavern was no longer enough to pay for your step-father's drinking habits and your little siblings' food. All your savings vanished in thin air when your mother gave to light a new family member: a new mouth in the house meant more expenses. You tried to find a job in one of the many sewing ateliers of London, but no one would employ a young woman without any formal training; some had offered you a position as an apprentice, but you needed money to maintain your family. 

In a letter to Dio, you announced that your mother had arranged for you to work at the brothel. The tears staining the letter made it hard to read, but you knew that he would understand anyway. When his response arrived, you were already working under Madame De Duchny. He reassured you that your predicament changed nothing about his feelings for you and that he would visit you soon: he was about to start college, which would grant him much more freedom. 

His letters and, later on, his visits, were the only thing keeping you sane. Even when the job became nothing more than a routine, and you stopped crying before every client, you couldn't let go of the hope that one day you would be free to leave the brothel. Maybe along Dio. 

That night, as Madame De Duchny closed the door behind her, leaving you alone in the special guests' room, uneasiness washed over you. Your chest felt like a trap for your lungs, as if it couldn't expand to fill your body with sufficient air. It didn't depend on the corset either, for you had grown used to uncomfortable undergarments. 

You decided to open the window and let the frigid October wind in. You closed your eyes as you inhaled the crisp air: the full moon was visible in the sky, since it was a rare cloudless night. Its light was shining bright and illuminating the room. 

That's why you immediately opened your eyes when a shadow formed behind your closed lids, as if something, or someone, was standing between you and the full moon. Nothing was there, but your heart was racing. Maybe you were indeed feeling unwell that night. You closed the window and turned around. As you saw two red eyes shining in the darkness of your room, you jolted and a gasp slipped through your lips. When did the candles get blown out? 

A familiar face made its way towards you, out of the shadows. You felt a wave of relief wash over you as you recognised Dio's imposing stature; his hair had grown longer since the last time you saw him, crowning his algid handsome features in wild golden ringlets. He was even more beautiful than usual. 

You were entranced by his inhuman appearance. The moon was throwing a pale light on the highest points of his face - his long straight nose, his square jaw and pronounced cheekbones, his cupid's bow and the smooth skin of his forehead - while the rest of his figure was still engulfed by shadows. He was towering over you and for a brief moment you felt like a mouse trapped in a corner by a large cat. 

"Hello, my dear", he finally spoke. His words were sweet like honey, yet the sinister light in his eyes made you take a step backwards. His smile broadened and that's when you noticed his teeth: his canines were unnaturally long, biting sharp into his lower lip. You covered your mouth with your hands, your eyes widened in terror. Dio laughed, making your blood freeze in your veins. Something was different, he was no longer the man you knew. His eyes had captured yours and you couldn't stop staring at those crimson red irises. You could see your silhouette reflected in his eyes, standing out as a dark shadow in the moonlight. You had reached the window: you could go no further. 

"Dio?" you finally asked, hesitantly. He laughed once more. He pressed his body against yours, but for once you didn't feel the comforting warmth of his skin. In fact he was as cold as a corpse when he took you in his arms. 

He roughly pushed you onto the mattress of the bed with a force that took your breath away. He ripped your corset off with a single hand, leaving you exposed and scared. You felt a sharp pain on your chest and realized with horror that there were claw marks on your skin. A pained moan was muffled by Dio's lips hungrily pushing into yours. His sharp teeth bit into your soft flesh, making tears roll down your cheeks into the mattress and your hair. 

"You will serve me well once last time", he said as he moved down, leaving a bloody trail on your cheek. You could feel your heart beating in your chest like a bird in a cage. What did he mean? You felt his cat-like rough tongue lapping at the wound on your chest. You tried to push him away, but it felt as if you were trying to move a statue. 

"Dio, please -", you tried to beg him. He had ripped your lower garments off you and his clawed fingers were now puncturing the flesh on your hips. 

"Shut up, whore", he ordered. His words hurt more than any of the wounds he was leaving on your body. He had never called you names before. 

"You are not the Dio I know", you said through tears. You heard him laugh against your neck as his claws penetrated deeper into your flesh. You felt yourself grow weaker and your thoughts became more unclear, foggy even, by the second. 

"You have served me well. You taught me that I can fool simpletons like you into loving me, that I can charm my way into anyone's heart." What did he mean? Your limbs felt heavy; all the pain seemed to have disappeared from your body. You were staring at the ceiling; in the darkness, the only thing left was Dio's voice. You understood the meaning of his words, yet you didn't have the energy to feel sad, hurt or angry. "Then, you entertained me with your misery, as I got closer to the fulfillment of my dreams. Now, all you are", his voice felt distant as he spoke, echoing in the darkness that was enveloping all your senses, "is useless."

#jjba #jjba fanfic #dio brando x reader #jjba dio x Reader #jjba x reader #oxtober #read the warnings #jjba phantom blood

[costelhateaccount]

Luna Maximoff; matchmaker extraordinaire.

A/N: yeah so I'm a quicktaser stan and wanted to do a Little Something! I firmly believe Luna deserves more love and wanted to include her so!! A parent trappy au where Luna attempts to set up her dad with her teacher! No powers au bc that's fun too uwu! I might post this elsewhere but we'll see! I wrote this in the one and on mobile, so if there's any major errors lmk!! I also had struggles doing italics on mobile, anyone else had that problem? It just highlights the whole para after I've done one word in italics and even when changing everything else BACK it just reverts back to italics?? Idk fellas

Anyway!!! Pls enjoy this self indulgent fic of Luna trying to set up Pietro and Darcy!! It's not finished and I'll prolly do a part 2 for this!

Luna Maximoff is seven years old and an expert in love, thank you very much.

She's watched basically all the Disney movies, how can't she be after that? Plus Anastasia, which is one of her absolute favourite movies of all time. Which is why, of course, she totally believes that her dad is giving Miss Lewis goo goo eyes.

Her mother and father had split up two years ago now. It had been a tumultuous marriage, doomed to fail from the very start. Her parents had loved each other, once. Before the arguing started, and then her dad leaving every other night to sleep at auntie Wanda's, and then her mother no longer wearing her wedding ring.

Custody was 50/50, with Luna spending two weeks with her mother, and then two with her father. It had been rocky, at first, with her mother demanding more time with Luna, despite the fact that she was an incredibly politician who more often than not left Luna with either a nanny or her uncle. She didn't mind too much, she still loved her mother despite the busy schedule... and her new boyfriend, the real estate agent.

He wasn't bad. Just incredibly boring. She was incredibly confused about just what her mother saw in him.

Her father, on the other hand, hasn't dated much at all. Not to her expert knowledge, of course. Her auntie Wanda, upon being grilled by a seven year old girl, just told her that her father was happy being single and focusing his attention on his job and his daughter.

Luna thought that was stupid, to be honest. Because her dad was great and deserved to be happy!

Which brings her to Miss Lewis. Her totally rad and pretty teacher, who gave them movie days every other week to "decompress" and relax, and who drew the best smiley faces on papers and tests, and who was always willing to listen and help her students as best as she can.

She used to have a boyfriend, maybe, Luna remembers her wearing a ring on her left hand like her mom and dad used to. But, as of three months ago, it had disappeared. Strange!

So, naturally, this totally means her dad should ask her out. Obviously. It's a win win! They'd both be super happy, and Luna would maybe get more of those baked goods Miss Lewis brought in for movie days.

Everybody wins!

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Mr Maximoff was, in all honesty, the most painfully handsome man Darcy Lewis had ever clapped eyes upon.

Totally unprofessional thought, but who fucking cares, not like the staff didn't gossip about parents. Namely how smokin' divorcee single dad Maximoff was.

Occasionally, his sister would appear to pick up little Luna, and the woman was also drop dead gorgeous in a way that had Darcy questioning her sexuality for about an hour after pick up. What the hell was up with their gene pool? Who just IS that attractive?

But, this is Darcy Lewis. She keeps her cool, keeps professional.

Until, that is, it comes crumbling down.

His mouth is hot on hers, his hands even hotter. Pietro Maximoff is a fucking furnace and she feels as though he's setting her ablaze.

She can't bring herself to care.

It had started in a bar. Her, out celebrating her BFF Jane's engagement to totally hot Scandi Thor. Him, stood up on some date.

Laughable, really. How the hell do you stand up-

A soft moan escapes her as Pietro tugs on her hair to tilt her head back, moving his kisses down from her lips to her neck.

"Do you think we should be doing this?" she asks, clutching onto his shoulders- good god they're broad- and meeting his eyes with her own wide ones. "Objectively, it's probably not very smart of me to sleep with one of my students parents-"

"Probably not," he agrees, humming against her throat. "But we're both mature adults, are we not? I think we can keep this between ourselves-"

At her silence, he pulls back, eyes searching her face. God, they're so blue.

His hands leave her waist. "Unless you don't want-?"

At that, she pulls him closer, nudging her nose against his. "Oh, I want," she assures him, nodding her head. "That's not up for debate, far from it, I'll be kicking myself in the teeth if I don't-"

"I think I get the picture, no need for teeth kicking," he says, mirth shining in his eyes as he returns his hands to her waist, thumbs rubbing gentle circles against her skin.

Sweet jesus.

"So?" He prompts, giving her a lopsided smile.

"Yeah," she nods, giving his lips a peck. "Yeah, we're doing this, oh my god-" she breathes, squeaking at the nip to her neck. "You're such a tease." she pouts, being met with a cheeky grin as she pulls him by the shirt and walks backwards to her bedroom.

"You like that I am, no?"

"It keeps a lady on her toes, has to be said." Darcy snorts, sitting on the bed once she feels the back of her knees hit it.

Pietro grins down at her, brushing his fingers along her jaw. "Good," he drops to his knees, reaching out to help her shimmy out of her skirt. "I hate to be predictable." He informs her, hooking his thumbs underneath her underwear and sliding them down her legs, promptly tossing them to some corner of her bedroom.

"I think it goes against your nature," Darcy says, breathless, as he's currently kissing his way up her thighs.

He looks up at her from between her legs, a smirk curling on his lips. "Quite."

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Something is strange.

Luna squints at Miss Lewis, who seems to be avoiding looking at her in particular as she finishes up the lesson for the day. Something something about multiplication.

She's more curious about whatever is going on with her teacher.

Luna is excellent at reading people, always has been. A peculiar little talent of hers that often times came in handy.

The bell rings, and slowly, she starts packing away her things, as Miss Lewis informs them of homework and tells them to have a good weekend.

Luna slowly puts away her scented colouring pencils, narrowing her eyes as Miss Lewis's eyes dart to her before skipping over to the rest of the class.

Weird.

"Miss Lewis!" she pipes up as she slings her backpack over her shoulders, marching her way over to Miss Lewis's desk.

"Luna," the woman smiles, but it's almost... panicky. Interesting. "What can I help you with?"

"My parents night slip is done." Luna informs her, beaming and proudly brandishing the envelope.

"Oh, super!" the woman smiles, taking it from her and scanning over the contents for a moment. "Your mom's coming, that's-"

"Cool, right? She got time off for it!" Luna beams, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Miss Lewis nods, smiling fondly at her. "It is. You can show her that painting you've been working on, can't you? I bet she'll totes dig the rainbow glitter."

"You think?"

"Who wouldn't?" Miss Lewis retorts, arching a brow. Luna nods, as duh, everyone should love rainbow glitter.

"Miss Lewis," Luna begins again, tilting her head. "You've been ac-"

"Luna?" Her father calls out from the doorway, arms crossed and a bemused smile on his lips. "What we said about keeping Miss Lewis back with the bucket of questions?"

"Oh, I don't mind!" the woman quickly interjects, giving Luna another smile. "You come up with the wildest things, Luna, keeps me on my toes."

"Much like she does at home, then," her father sighs, but there's a smile on his face, one which Luna returns. Shortly, she looks back at Miss Lewis, furrowing her brow as the woman looks almost... flushed.

"Are you okay?" she asks, bluntly, and Miss Lewis blinks at her, startled.

"Just hot, is all."

Luna squints at her, glancing to the snow falling softly outside. Right.

She looks to her dad, seeing if he has caught onto the lie too, only... his cheeks are also a shade darker, his eyes not quite on Miss Lewis.

Adults. What weirdos.

"Come on, Luna," her father hums, holding out his hand. She eagerly skips her way over, clinging onto his arm. "Your aunt is making dinner tonight."

"Yeah!" she cheers, because Auntie Wanda is the best cook she knows. "Bye Miss Lewis!"

"Bye, Luna. See you next Monday, remember your homework this time, kay?"

"Kay!"

"She'll get it done," her father says, looking to Miss Lewis again. "Promise. You'll have no problems with her."

Miss Lewis's lips twitch into a little grin. "Oh, I rarely do. But I can't spoil the contents of parents night, what else will I have to talk about?"

Her father snorts, running his hand through his hair. Miss Lewis's eyes follow the hand, and Luna squints again.

"Then I shan't dig for too many spoilers. Now! Let's go, Luna. Miss Lewis." He nods at his daughter's teacher, and Luna waves, following her father out of the door. There's a muffled thump behind them, and what sounds like Miss Leeis talking to herself. Luna glances up at her father, pausing at the odd smile on his lips.

Seriously, adults are strange.

#darcy lewis #pietro maximoff #luna maximoff #quicktaser #pietro x darcy #fanfic #quicktaser fanfic #marvel

[anamelessfool]

Sister Rebecca was a severe woman with piercing eyes set in a hollowed face. Her mouth was carved into a permanent line, oftentimes broken only by an elegant silver cigarette holder. Now in the sunlight her eyes were concealed behind spectacles, two flashing moons of icy light. Her cowl and horn-like wimple pulled her further from humanity, forming her into a large immovable pillar of stark black and white. For several years she had been the private tutor of the children living on the Ministry grounds, not to mention his brother Secondo’s domineering mother.

My Fic List | Current Project "Violence & Gentleness"

Hey Tumblr, ya like long random OC Profiles? Here ya go, it's my blog I do what I want UwU

Sister Rebecca (1920-1998)

Sister Rebecca was the daughter of a rising star politician who had a long standing relationship with the Satanic Church of the Void. The family was involved somewhat with illicit mob activity during the 20s and 30s.

Rebecca was a consummate scholar. Her favorite subject was languages and at the time of her death she was fluent in six different languages (Spanish, Italian, German, Greek, Latin and Portuguese). As a teen and young woman she was a socialite who actually used her influence to support public school education. She was a severe woman but valued her formal education and teachers. She went to school for education herself, with big plans to be a Superintendent some day. In 1944 There was a massive bust of her family’s business dealings and tax evasion by the FBI. At the last second the Satanic Church of the Void offered to hide her and her mother to avoid arrest. Unfortunately her father and his goons were sent to Alcatraz for their crimes after much public shaming and fanfare. Rebecca enjoyed her stay at the Ministry so much she formally joined the Church as a Sister of Sin in 1945.

She met Nihil when he joined up with the church in 1950. Her role in the church was outreach due to her extensive knowledge of languages and travel, and so she helped assemble tours for a few Papa Emeritus figures, working as their tour manager. She was effective and pretty ruthless. She got to know Nihil when he was a roadie and backup musician during one of those tours. She saw the potential in him as a future Papa Emeritus and groomed him to stardom.

She developed a physical relationship with Nihil in 1958, prompting the heartbroken Sister Nance to leave the Ministry for good. In 1960 Mother Imperator died of old age. Rebecca was the obvious choice for successor, but in a dark twist of fate she found she was pregnant and therefore could not safely undergo the ritual without killing the child. Her pregnancy with Secondo was a total surprise, assuming she was too old at 41.

She took to motherhood well, enjoying raising her son to be a perfect gentleman and representative of the Church, unlike his father. She discovered Secondo to be a brilliant child who was a piano prodigy and worked to build her son’s career as a performer. She had wanted Secondo to be Papa Emeritus since the boy was seven.

Rebecca nearly killed Nihil when Terzo showed up on the Ministry front steps in 1969, his unknown lovechild from Italy. She was forced to take care of him since he only spoke Italian and she was fluent. She taught Terzo English and raised him somewhat but she was alway cold to him.

She retired from touring once she fell pregnant with Nihil’s child, becoming a schoolteacher for the ministry children. She was a school teacher up until her death in 1998.

#ghost scenes from the void #original sibling of sin #this is what i do with my free time i write elaborate profiles of scary nuns #I'll post more if you want just let me know #violence and gentleness #secondo's mom is the most terrifying stage mom #not to mention a cold stepmother (terzo)

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I know nothing about your OCs please tell me who they are

Okay WELL I appreciate the vagueness but I have so many at the forefront of my mind so 🤔

I could always tell you about my Shining Star University 7/DR7. Basically just seven Danganronpa OCs whom I also plan to use in a few chapters of the Gravity Falls fic I'm writing.

Ryuji Saeki: The Ultimate Otamatone Player. My special goofy boy who's just an absolute ray of sunshine, although he isn't quite as bright when it comes to thinking. But he means well and has a big heart! He's also very good at rhythm games!

Honoka Saeki: The Ultimate Alternative Singer. Ryuji's twin sister, and a lot more reserved and quiet than her brother. A girl of few words until you put a microphone in her hands and let her sing her heart out onstage. She's also a fan of tourist trap type shops (she has a taxidermied possum named Fluffy that she got from one), gothic lolita fashion, and she's pretty good at identifying mushrooms.

Katsuo Matsuda: The Ultimate Tennis Player Robotics Engineer. Was originally entered into school as a tennis player via his mother, but he knows she only did it because all the women in their family were professional tennis players. And, uh, given how he's a trans boy...we can put two and two together. Anyway, he's treading his own path and pursuing his own dreams. Outside of that, he's a fan of scary movies and will infodump at a moment's notice. ALSO his name translates out to 'victory, hero, manly'. Good for him.

Ava Tarnbull: The Ultimate Baker. She's a sweetie who was born on Valentine's Day, but due to that and not having many friends in her childhood, she chooses to give other people gifts on this day instead of asking for them in return. Usually her gifts are baked goods she made herself, and all of them are free of any fondant because she refuses to touch the stuff and thinks it's nasty uwu She also loves puppets and cooking shows, especially ones focused on bad cooks. Also clearly only half-Japanese; her other half being Scottish.

Mio Hatanaka: The Ultimate Ballerina. Very shy and meek, and prefers to let her dancing do the talking for her. Which it often does; she's the best ballerina in the country and beloved by so many. But despite her nerves off the stage, she's very kindhearted and will warm up to people if they talk to her long enough. She loves cute things like plushies and tiny dollhouse furniture, and also pretty girls who bake (heehee).

Hitomi Yoshihara: The Ultimate Surgeon. The Girlie of all time. She was raised in a 2-bit circus and did surgery on the performers when they got hurt. She's aroace. She can juggle. She wants to study the anatomy of a paranormal or supernatural being, specifically by getting one of their limbs. She is a Bill Cipher fangirl for this reason in her GF-verse (once again, not in a romantic sense. She just wants to put him in her handbag and steal his arm, #girlthings). She's such a silly and a little scary, but she takes her job and the lives of her patients very seriously.

Ishida Amano: The Ultimate Extreme Sportsman. If there was ever someone who could toe the line between extreme stunts and extreme safety, it's Ishida Amano. He will perform death-defying stunts on the regular, but will cancel any and all plans to do so if he doesn't have the specific safety equipment needed for the stunt. He will ride around school hallways on an electric scooter (one that stops on a dime), only to scold someone for running in the hallways. He's VERY intense and VERY extreme, but his heart is usually in the right place. He just wants to keep his friends safe, in a very Ishida way. Also my friends and I have a running joke with him slapping a helmet on every unprotected head he can find.

That's it, those are my darlings~! 🥺 I've been thinking about them for a year straight, and I love them SO much.

#Asks #Anonymous #DR7 #My OCs #Ryuji Saeki #Honoka Saeki #Katsuo Matsuda #Ava Tarnbull #Mio Hatanaka #Hitomi Yoshihara #Ishida Amano

[bittybattybunny]

I would like a☕!!

Coming up!!!

Have some from TLC I'm currently working on!

Eclipse stood up and laughed, “Didn’t I tell you if you want to cook you need to wake me up?”

“Well I figured it’d be fineeee this year!” She gestured to the merman, “He’s a good cook! You like him! Getting him to make you breakfast seemed like a good idea!”

Eclipse turned bright red, “T-That’s not the issue…”

Snatcher snickered, “Alright, I get it. Well then.” he scooted closer to Eclipse who jolted as he gave a devilish smirk. She yelped when her legs went out from under her and he scooped her up and threw her back on the bed. He leaned over her with a sneer, “you have to stay in bed and relax until the kid and I finish cooking.”

“S-Snatcher!” she hissed, “I need to get ready for work!”

“You don’t work until noon! It’s barely 8 am!” he laughed as she huffed.

“Get off of me.” she grumbled, her cheeks a rosey shade, “Aruliusss!” she hissed.

“Who said you get to say my name, hrm?” he teased her, “i haven’t given you that permission.” he chuckled and kissed her forehead before he stood up, “but honestly, Eclipse. Rest for a bit okay? I’ll get breakfast ready, watch the news or something.”

“The news is shit right now.” she groaned as she laid there. She grunted when C.C. jumped to her stomach. She sighed, “all it is about an issue with ships in the country hitting ice and sharks and sea life eating the bodies before recovered.”

He paused as he listened, “That… doesn’t make sense.” he admitted softly, “should I go see?”

She jolted up, sending the cat to the floor, “Do. Not.” her face was pale, “Please. Don’t.”

He scowled, not liking that reaction. He reached to cup her cheeks gently, “Alright I won’t. Okay?” he smiled softly, “i’m not about to do anything to make you worried for me. Come on now, aren’t I the prince who’s going to give you happily ever after?”

She puffed her cheeks up and he squished them making her sputter.

“Jerk.”

“Yes but you haven’t kicked me out yet, so obviously there’s something you like about me.” He kissed her forehead again

#monochromebat #ask #bun's ficlet cafe #the little contractor #fic snip #this is from the mothers day fic for this year uwu

[spencerreidalvez]

trust the magic of beginnings

Spencer Reid x Reader, Reader & Emily Prentiss

CW: canon-typical violence, weapons, blood, injuries, death, crime, hostages, mental illness, talks of suicide (unsub), injury while pregnant, pregnancy, let me know if I missed anything

hurt/comfort, angst w a happy ending

1.5K words

this is my first ever x reader fic and i don't know how i feel about it but please be kind uwu

Requests are open for spencer reid fics so please send some in!! Hurt/comfort is preferred but I’ll write angst or fluff as well !!

divider by firefly-graphics

You haven't told anyone. You only just found out and then you were whisked away on another case, so you hadn't even had the time to process it.

A baby.

You were pregnant.

It wasn't planned or something you'd even thought about too much, but you couldn't help the excitement.

You'd always wanted to be a mom, always pictured yourself one day raising a baby, and being with Spencer cemented that notion. Having a baby with Spencer? That would be like a dream come true.

Spencer had only mentioned having a kid a few times, in passing, he'd never really brought it up with you in conversation. You know how much he loves Henry and Michael, how much he adores helping kids on cases, how much he loves you. You know all this but you can't help the self-doubt with such a life-changing event.

It wasn't like you thought Spencer would leave. Of course he wouldn't, but maybe that's it's own problem. Maybe he'll stay and grow to resent you for trapping him in a life like this.

You were thinking of telling Penny, just so that she could help in the planning to tell Spencer stage. Or maybe so that someone could hold your hand when you went to your first official doctor's appointment if you chickened out of telling Spencer.

You weren't sure if Spencer was ready for a child, you weren't even sure if you were ready for a child. You were young, sure, but you're financially stable, you have a decent amount in savings after you moved into Spencer's apartment and saved up the money you would've spent on rent. You'd probably have to move eventually, but for now, the small office could be turned into a nursery.

The last thing you would've expected from a relatively basic case with a couple dead bodies and a confused, mentally ill twenty-year old momma's boy who just lost his mom and was taking people who he'd believed to be bad mothers, was to be taken hostage.

"It's going to be okay," Emily says as soon as they've been left alone in the lobby of the bank as the man tries to come up with an exit plan. He's stupid, he has no plan, no way out of this, but he might be stupid enough to kill the agents and take his own life.

You've been held hostage before, it's in the job description to be held captive or put in life-threatening situations, but you've never done it while carrying another life, if only the size of a pomegranate seed, and nothing more than a clump of cells, but it's the idea, it's the future you've built up inside your head.

"Emily," you say, voice caught in your throat. You tug at the zipties holding your wrists behind your back. "Emily."

"We're going to be fine," she says, almost nonchalant in her certainty. "This guy's an idiot, we'll be able to talk him into something crazy and he'll fall for it."

"Emily, I'm pregnant."

There's a second where every emotion under the sun flashes across her face and then, in the blink of an eye, she's settled on a pokerface again.

"It's going to be fine."

"I shouldn't be this scared."

"Hey, it's not like this job turns us into robots, (y/n), being scared is normal."

The ziptie cuts into your skin and you suck in a breath just as the unsub walks back into the room, panic clear on his face.

"You have two federal agents in your custody, Patterson. Our team is willing to trade you whatever it is that you want for our safety," Emily starts carefully.

Patterson paces in front of them. "Shut up!"

"Patterson, listen to us-" You try, but he turns on you angrily. Pain explodes across the left side of her face and she falls into Emily's side.

"Shut up!" he screams, hitting his head in frustration.

He turns away from them, muttering under his breath.

"You okay?" Emily whispers, eyes franticly searching your face for any sign of panic.

"I'm good, I'm okay." There's blood rushing down the side of your face from where you'd been pistol-whipped, and you can feel the headache coming in strong. Concussed, probably. Stitches, maybe. Longterm, you'll be fine.

Emily gently presses her chin and mouth to the top of your head, still half-sprawled across her, and then takes a deep steadying breath.

"Patterson, we're going to help you, okay? You don't want to die, do you?"

You barely stop yourself from gasping, an ice-cold wave crashing through your body. You trust Emily, of course you do, but things like this are never certain and Emily's choosing time over safety.

Patterson turns on you, eyes wild and hair sticking up and gun waving carelessly. His voice comes out loud and almost childish, "What have I done?"

"It's going to be okay." Emily continues. "But my friend is hurt and she needs to see a doctor, right?"

Patterson drops the gun, breath hitching. He comes closer, lowering himself to the ground in front of them. "What have I done?"

"You're sick, James," you say, throwing as much parental concern into your voice as you can muster up. "You're going to get better, though, okay? I promise. You just have to do the right thing."

If you hadn't seen those women's bodies, if you didn't know the profile, you might've felt sorry for him. He looks like a scared boy, a child, confused and uncertain and searching for help.

"I don't know what that is."

You offer wavering smile. "We'll all go out there together, okay? And we'll make sure you get the help you need."

Patterson stands up hurriedly, going around the counter and returning with a pair of scissors.

He cuts you out of your zipties first and then Emily's too.

You carefully take the scissors from him, setting them down on the counter, and then loop your arm through his.

"I'm so sorry," he says.

You almost feel bad.

As soon as you step through the doors of the bank, Patterson is being pulled away and Spencer's arms are around you, pulling you in tight and tears falling down the shoulder of your shirt.

"I'm okay," you say, but you're crying too, you can't catch your breath, you can't stop imagining the what ifs, you can't unclench your fingers from the back of Spencer's vest. "We're okay."

Spencer walks you to see a paramedic and holds your hand the whole time while calling Garcia.

"Spencer, could you make sure Hotch has enough help? I promise I'm okay, just a little cut."

"I'm not leaving your side."

You let out a little laugh tinged with hysteria. "It was supposed to be more romantic than this."

"What was?"

You turn to the paramedic who's dabbing the blood from your forehead to see how bad the cut is.

"Could you double check the baby?"

The paramedic nods easily, unfazed, focused. But Spencer freezes at your side.

And then he sits down beside you. "I'm gonna pass out."

"Spencer!" you exclaim, hitting his arm.

"Say it for real. I wanna hear it out loud."

"I'm pregnant, Spencer. We're having a baby."

His laugh is more than tinged with hysteria. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh god. Oh- ma'am you need to take her to the hospital, you need to do an ultrasound, the baby could be hurt!"

"Right away, Doctor Reid."

The paramedic and Spencer help you up into the ambulance and lay you down in the bed.

"Spencer, we're going to have a baby," you say again and Spencer smiles so wide you think his cheeks might shatter.

"Oh my god."

The baby is perfect. You don't need any stitches, just a butterfly bandage to the head, and Spencer doesn't stop crying until you get him to take a nap on the jet.

"He wasn't even this emotional when I died," Emily says, pouting. She's sitting across from them with JJ, Morgan and Hotch on the bench.

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" JJ gasps, reaching for the tablet, "I have to tell Garcia, oh my god, she's going to lose her mind!"

"You're pregnant?" Morgan says.

You roll your eyes, running a hand over Spencer's arm. "I wasn't going to tell anyone until I was at least twelve weeks, but there was no way Spencer would've been able to keep it a secret, so yeah, I'm pregnant."

You get a round of congratulations and you tell Garcia when she picks up the call. Garcia screams loud enough to wake up Spencer, who will never admit that he cries again, and the team places bets on whether the baby will be a girl or a boy, if they'll have Spencer's curly hair or his intelligence, if they'll have your bravery or eyes.

Everyone knows now.

A baby.

You weren't even a little scared.

#lyss writes #spencer reid #emily prentiss #bau team #bau #behavioural analysis unit #mgg #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid/you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid angst #dad spencer reid #spencer reid x pregnant!reader #jennfer jareau #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotch #penelope garcia

[rozcdust]

Waste it on me

Pairing: Takeomi Akashi x f!reader

Genre: Crack, SMAU

Word count: 500ish

Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, age gap (both are consenting adults)

Synopsis: You’re a final year university student, desperate for money. Takeomi’s desperate for a human connection with too many zeros in his bank account.

pt. 1 | next

“What about this one?” Chifuyu shoved the phone under your nose, staring at you expectantly.

You took it from him with a glare, checking out the man’s profile.

“Nah, he looks too mentally stable. I want someone who looks like he’ll leave me with trauma so I can make him pay for the therapy.”

“Your standards for men disturb me.” Baji voiced from the floor, shamelessly laying across Kazutora’s lap.

“Well she is a walking red flag riddled with issues.” Tora noted, earning a glare from you.

You said nothing as you ate the chips you stole from their pantry, watching over Chifuyu’s shoulder as he kept swiping on various men.

“Oh wait that one is hot.” You wiped your hands on his pants, ignoring his complaining as you snatched your phone away from him, looking through the man’s profile.

“His name is Takeomi, he’s 39, a Capricorn and…” You scrolled through the profile pictures, a victorious expression on your face as you showed the phone screen to Baji and Tora, “He’s 6 feet tall motherfuckers.”

“He looks like a criminal.” Tora said, pulling Baji up to tuck his head under his chin.

“Look who’s talking.” You raised a sceptical eyebrow, pulling the phone close to your chest.

“You can’t mingle with a Capricorn, y/n.” Baji said, deathly serious, “They’re the Satan.”

“You’re a Scorpio, shut your whore mouth.”

“He looks like he’ll steal your kidney.” Tora hummed, playing with Baji’s hair.

“Perfect, if he pays me first he can have both.”

“You are demented.”

“Thanks, Tora.”

You glanced at the photo of him smoking a cigarette, dramatically exhaling.

“He looks like he’ll ruin me emotionally.” Your voice was singsongy, and Chifuyu snatched the chips from you as he nodded in agreement.

“Do I dress like a whore for the date I will sweet talk my way into or like a proper nice lady?”

“You’re always a whore y/n, embrace the sluttiness! Steal his credit card, fuck his mother, have fun!”

You swiped on Takeomi with a wide grin.

It’s not that Takeomi was desperate for love, not at all, he’s had plenty of relationships in his younger days.

But he still craved a certain degree of affection, so when his idiotic brother and the fucking Haitanis signed him up for that stupid sugar daddy app, he didn’t bother with deleting it.

Maybe he was getting more desperate than necessary, sure, but sue him, he was getting annoyed of Sanzu poking fun at him and going to events alone, so fuck it, when he got an alert on his phone that someone matched him, he checked it out.

He sighed a sigh of relief when the profile showed the girl who matched him was in her mid 20s, scrolling through her profile, eyes taking it all.

Y/n. 25. Last year law student and broke as broke gets.

He chuckled when he got to your ‘About me’ section.

‘I might hotwire your car daddy UwU’

Fair enough.

A message from you popped up, and he pressed it, raising an eyebrow at your message.

Taglist (open):

@1818cigarettes @babu-haitani @dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @lagrimasdeglitter @kisekihany @missarabellla @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @emilywaters @m0rrax @levistiddies @bxnten @spookydraken @graythecoffeebean @yukihime-mikeys-girl @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @crybabylisa @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @gigibobigi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @bontens-whore @nqctre @kennyb0y @chaoticyuna

This fic was requested by 👑J! You can find the ask here.

#tokyorev #tokyo revengers #takeomi x reader #takeomi x y/n #bonten #takeomi akashi #ran haitani #sanzu haruchiyo #rindou haitani

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 278.brb x oc

a/n: i hate you so much S I R (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/253/254/255/256/257/258/259/260/261/262/263/264/265/266

/267/268/269/270/271/272/273/274/275/276/277

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca

-

“It’s going to be, a happy happy daaay.” she sings while placing the balloons on the wall, ‘A happy,happy day, because why?” she turns around and points at Nikki, who just looks up at her from her spot on the floor, Jack opening one of his eyes when the toddler leans against him, ‘Because it’s your birthday! Yay!”

Nicole blinked, but her mother was being funny, so she giggled in response.

Beatrice continued to decorate the living room, singing the cheerful tune about a happy day for her baby girl's first birthday. She was so excited, not only because it was Nicole’s birthday, but because it was Rooster’s.

Nicole watched her mother with wide, curious eyes, her tiny fingers gripping a soft plush toy. She had always been fascinated by her mother's actions and the world around her. Today, the lively colors seemed to captivate her even more.

Beatrice knelt beside Nicole and handed her a small balloon. "Here you go, sweetie. You can play with this while Mama finishes decorating. It's your special day, after all."

Nicole accepted the balloon with a gentle gasp, and held it up in her tiny hand, examining it with childlike wonder with her eyes wide. The colorful balloon seemed like the most fascinating thing in the world at that moment. She even showed it to Jack, but the brown dog only gave it a gentle sniff before going back to sleep.

Beatrice's heart swelled with love as she watched Nicole play with the balloon. She could hardly believe it. Nicole was no longer a newborn but a lively one-year-old, and her personality was shining through more and more each day.

She has a lot of,what Beatrice called, Rooster-isms. From the way they slept the same, the way her daughter’s eyes crinkled when she smiled and how much…hair she had. Nicole had a lot of hair, in fact, so did her siblings. While Aurora and Gavin had a few weeks left at the NICU to be sure they’d be alright, it was obvious that all the kids had an immense amount of strands.

Even the nurses commented on it when they visited the twins there.

The decorations for Nicole's and Rooster's joint birthday celebration were well underway. Beatrice had chosen vibrant, joyful colors to adorn the living room – balloons of red, blue, and gold floated gently near the ceiling, while streamers of matching colors crisscrossed the walls. Eleanor was currently staring at a streamer like it called her a bad name, but she didn’t try to bite it or anything.

Beatrice returned to hanging more balloons, her singing gradually transitioning into humming as she worked. Not being able to contain her own joy because of this.

It was a huge milestone.

Nicole watched her mother's movements with rapt attention, her little fingers gently caressing the balloon in her hand, blinking when she heard the rubber squeak loudly. The sound snapped Jack out of his slumber and made Eleanor look back at the sitting toddler. 

Beatrice blinked, looking back as well and half expecting her daughter to cry,because well, it was a loud unknown noise. But she could only see as Nicole took it as ‘oh? a new way to make sound? nice.’ and she repeated the movement.

Her daughter's curiosity was boundless, and even unfamiliar sounds were seen as an opportunity for exploration and discovery. I

But unfortunately, that sound was unbelievably annoying, “Nikki.” she sets everything back, the noise was enough to bring Jolene back inside from her morning nap, “Nikki, honey, no no.” she has to be careful when picking the balloon, “No, you hold it here.”

“Aaa?”

“Yes, here,” and she pokes it, making it move back and forth, hoping it’d be enough for Nicole to stop this weird one instrument symphony.

Nicole watched her mother's movements closely, her eyes fixed on the balloon. Her little fingers stretched out to touch it, her attempts to mimic Beatrice's actions were her main focus right now.

Beatrice smiled warmly at her daughter's attempts. "That's right, Nikki. See? We can have fun without the loud sounds, too."

The room was now filled with a sense of calm as Nicole focused on the task at hand. Jack and Eleanor had also settled down, with Jolene sitting close to Beatrice as she watched the scene.

She made a few more slow and controlled movements with the balloon to emphasize the point, her soft-spoken encouragement filling the air. "That's perfect, birdie. You're doing such a great job."

Nicole's attention remained fixed on the balloon, her tiny fingers carefully manipulating it. Focused, so very focused.

Beatrice observed Nicole's concentration, she had no doubt that Nicole was going to grow up to be a bright, inquisitive child with a penchant for exploring and learning…and considering how she liked climbing on people…well, yeah, the adventurous part was almost certain.

“There,see? Now,’ Beatrice places her hands on her knees and pushes herself up with a gentle groan, letting out an ‘ow’ when something in her spine popped,”Now mama is going to finish decorating, daddy will be home soon enough, he doesn’t have work today,remember?”

Nicole was too busy making the balloon bounce to say anything.

“...well! I’ll be here,Nikki.”

Returning to an upright position, Beatrice glanced at her surroundings, taking stock of the decorations she had yet to complete. Her task was far from over, and there was still work to be done to ensure that their home was perfect for the upcoming joint birthday celebration.

The sounds of balloons being tied and decorations being hung filled the house. Jack, who had managed to nod off again in a more comfortable spot, remained peacefully asleep. Jolene, content to sit and observe her surroundings, watched Beatrice's every move.

And Eleanor was glaring through the door, as always.

When Beatrice heard the white dog’s tail thwap repeatedly on the wall, she knew exactly what was happening, “Oh,is Rooster back,Ellie?” Eleanor barks once, standing on her hind legs to have a better vision of the Bronco rolling into a park by the sidewalk, “Remember,it’s his birthday today, give him some extra loving, yeah?”

Eleanor barked again, jumping from left to right with her eyes locked on the outside, whining happily when she heard Rooster’s footsteps approaching. The noise was enough to make Nikki stop playing with the balloon as well, “Dada?” she drops it aside, standing to her feet - Jolene immediately walked up to her and let her hold herself against her ribs - gurgling a laugh.

Rooster's footsteps echoed in the hallway as he approached the front door, stopping to pull out his keys - the jingle jangle only making the dogs and Nicole more excited. 

As he entered the house, the sight that greeted him was nothing short of heartwarming. Nicole stood with the help of Jolene, and the little one was trying to reach for her daddy,”Dadaaaaa!!”  her face radiant with joy. Eleanor was doing her best to jump up and give him a proper welcome, her white tail wagging vigorously.

Rooster did give Ellie some affectionate pats. "Hey, Ellie. Thank you-thank-” she jumps higher, “Ellie, calm down, it’s okay.” He couldn't help but chuckle at her boundless enthusiasm. 

He then turned his attention to Nicole, who was giggling with excitement. "My baby girl!! Hi sweetie!” Nicole babbled in response, her tiny hands reaching out for him, her bright eyes locked onto his. ‘My sweet baby!Hi!”

Beatrice observed the heartwarming scene with a smile as she continued her work with the decorations. She tried to be as blasé as she could, but she couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she watched them.

"Hi baby girl, where’s mama?" Rooster chuckled, giving Nicole a playful kiss on her cheek when she points to where she last saw her mom. "You are so smart- excuse me Ellie.” he steps over the white dog, whose excitement went back to normal and she was back to glaring at the outside.

Beatrice paused in her decorating to look back at him when he entered the living room, his free hand propping on his hip as he took over the decorations she had set up already, “So?” she gestures with her hands, wringing them together out of habit, “What do you think so far?”

Rooster glanced around the room, taking in the colorful decorations that adorned their home, lips pursed. His eyes danced over the balloons, banners, and streamers, each element carefully chosen to bring life to the room. The effort and love Beatrice had put into preparing for their birthdays were evident in every corner.

Rooster approached the wall where Beatrice put the pictures of him when he was one year old next to Nicole’s. And he couldn’t help but look at it for a long while, “Look Nikki.” he points, “Look it’s daddy when he was your age.”

Nicole's eyes followed her daddy's finger as he pointed to the framed picture of a one-year-old Rooster. The image captured a chubby-cheeked, baby version of him, his eyes wide with curiosity while he smiled at the camera.

Beatrice watched the heartwarming moment unfold, and couldn't help but comment on it. "I thought it’d be nice…and-and when the twins come home, we can do that for them too. By the way, how are they?”

Rooster steps back from the wall to turn towards Bea, “Not so different from when we went there before gorgeous.” he smirks, “They are fine, they are very healthy and ready to come back home.” he lifts Nicole and puts her on his shoulders, her tiny hands hold on his golden brown tresses while he holds her feet, “Nothing out of the ordinary, the nurses said that you shouldn’t worry…I also got myself a birthday cookie there.”

“Oh?”

“Well, it’s usually done to kids who have birthdays but since the twins are almost out and…well, it is my birthday.” he puls something out of his back pocket, “I saved it up to share with Nicole.”

She didn’t know why, but her eyes immediately filled with tears. Her lower lip juts out and her hand lands on top of her heart as she looks down at the clear packaging with the bright multicolored ribbon keeping it closed. A smiling bear card is wrapped on it, ‘Happy Birthday!’ in big red cursive letters, “Aw…oh that’s so sweet…oh Roos, you are so sweet.”

He showed the colorful birthday cookie to Nicole, who was sitting atop his shoulders, her little hands reaching out eagerly. "Here you go, baby girl. Daddy and Mama are going to share this with you."

“Ah,ah,ah.” Beatrice grabs the little box before either of them decided to open it, “Not yet, Nikki still has to have her lunch and we need to finish decorating so everyone can come by.” she says, “Then you can have a bite.”

Amazingly, or not, both of them pout.

“Oh, you two, stop it.”

The pouting expressions on both Rooster and Nicole's faces were absolutely adorable. They shared a silent exchange, mimicking each other's mock expressions of disappointment. Beatrice couldn't help but laugh ,swatting her hand on her husband’s chest, “Stop it, you two are way too cute.I swear.”

“Mama,” Nicole opens her hand, “Ookie!”

Rooster gasps in surprise, eyes wide and a clear wave of satisfaction hit him, “You heard her.”

“Rooster,no, she can’t have it.”

“Gorgeous, it’s her first birthday.”

“Exactly.”she says, marching to the kitchen, “That’s why we should keep this safe for later.” she smiles when he mutters ‘it’s my birthday too…’

Rooster playfully stuck out his bottom lip again, "Guess I have to wait for my own birthday cookie, huh?"

Beatrice giggled as she put the colorful birthday cookie out of Nicole's reach. She knew her husband's sweet tooth and she could see the chunks of chocolate in the cookie. "Yes, Roos, you'll have to wait, just like the rest of us. It'll taste even better later."

He sighed dramatically, shrugging - the movement making Nicole move on his shoulders and giggle a bit. "Alright, I'll be patient. I can do this. I'm a strong Navy pilot, after all." his eyes flit to the fridge, where she put the cookie, “I can do this.”

“You managed through worse,right?”

“....yessss….”

Beatrice chuckled, her fingers gently tracing his cheek. "You have to relax, honey. Your chocolate sweet tooth will be dealt with, but first-" she points to their garden, “We need to set up the tables and everything out there…and set the grill ready- you sure you want to do it? I can ask Michael to grill stuff for you.’

He scoffs in surprise, “That’s the peak dad activity,babe. Hell yeah I wanna do it. Bonus that it’s mine and Nikki’s birthday to do so.”

Beatrice nodded with a smile, waiting for him outside with her hand on her cocked hip. "Alright, Roos, you're the birthday grill master today. We'll set everything up in the garden, and you can work your magic on the grill. I'm sure everyone is going to love the food."

“Hell yeah.”

“Also,I tried telling my mom there was no need to bring anything else…but…” she shrugs, “You are my husband and Nikki is our daughter. You know what that means?”

“...extra food?”

“So much.” she smirks, “See why I told you to not eat the cookie yet?”

"I get it….I mean extra food for the win." he says, walking up with her to the center of their backyard with Nicole still holding onto his head, “Now what do you have in mind?”

Brightly colored balloons and streamers adorned the perimeter of the garden. The balloons swayed gently in the breeze, some of them shaped like fighter jets. Their large, wooden picnic tables were set up in the center of the garden, each covered with colorful tablecloths that matched the theme of the day. 

“Okay,so!”She turned to Rooster, her eyes sparkling with excitement. " I'm thinking we should add some sparkles to the setup.”

“Yeah?”

Beatrice grinned and headed to a small storage area they had in the corner of the garden. She returned with several strings of fairy lights in her arms. The lights were tiny, delicate, and emitted a soft, warm glow. "These fairy lights are going to be our secret weapon. I'll string them up around the tables and in the trees. They'll twinkle like stars, and with the sun starting to set, it'll create a magical atmosphere."

“When did you get that?”

“Yesterday, I felt like we needed more.” she bites her lower lip, “But,well, you are taller than me…so…”

“Say no more.” he picks Nicole from his shoulders and exchanges her with Beatrice, grabbing the lights and looking down at the strings, “Where do you want them?”

She guided him to one of the trees on the far side of the garden, where she wanted to start. "Let's begin here, and we can work our way around the tables. I'll need your height advantage for this part."

Rooster nodded, his attention fully focused on the task at hand. He carefully untangled one of the strings of lights and looked at the target in question, “Easy peasy.” he smirks, ‘Meanwhile, don’t you worry, you and Nikki can stay there, giving the moral support I need to finish this.”

She was honestly just so excited to see him excited. She, ever since they started dating, wanted to make his birthdays or holidays so special. He denied himself from so much happiness when he was younger, he refused to see how much he deserved it…and now,well,now she was glad she had kept that thought in mind.

And she hoped he’d like the extra special gift.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

[sukirichi]

dutifully yours. [01]

Attached to the could’ve been’s of a promised happily ever after with the Crown Prince disguised under a scheme for power and greed, you are torn between choosing your happiness — or abandoning it to fulfill your duty as the future Queen.

→ unedited bcos i’m brave lazy. implied patriarchy. angst in future chapters. pure romance and fluff for now. royalty au. eventual smut. prince naoya !! i love him sm i could cry. this fic will break me, okay. naoya is close to canon but with my twist if that makes sense. drama in future chapters. oh and listen to this while reading <3

→ massive shoutout to my besties for always hyping me and helping me uwu, i present this token of prince naoya being an ideal husband okay cry cry i love him sm im crying. anyways pls enjoy bcos i poured my heart out to this and bcos i want more people in the naoya fucker club :>

one | next (to be posted)

Ever since the day your mother taught you how to read, you’ve had your nose buried in a book. Losing yourself in different worlds, swooning over fictional princes, and fantasizing for a love story ripped out of fairytale itself with such burning, passionate romance – you’d been through it all, dreamt of it all. And yet, you struggled to stop yourself from tugging at your dress.

The tight corset hadn’t even been the main focus of your worries, and neither was the heavy rivière resting on your collarbones.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Beside you, your mother pursed her lips, fingers decorated with jewels stopping in their movements of fanning herself. The temperature hadn’t been particularly high inside the limousine that evening. You supposed it was the mere sight of you tugging and gulping audibly every now and then, gloved hands running over the hems of your collar.

You ducked your head down. “Sorry, Mother. I can’t help it.”

“Dear, your anxiety is written all over your face,” she sighed, turning your face to her as she cupped your cheeks. Smiling tenderly like a mother always did, your heart felt soothed even by the slightest bit. You wished she could keep holding you like this – like you were a fragile flower she was afraid of breaking; a fragile flower that needed more care handled than most. Tonight, however, you felt a hundred years older. Like you’d accidentally clicked on fast forward and got launched to the future. A future that seemed so unclear yet so...perfect. So right.

“How would the Prince fancy you if you’re sweating bullets like that? It’s not a good look for a marquess’ daughter.”

At the mention of the Crown Prince, your heart sank again. “My apologies, Mother. I’m just rather nervous. It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about here.”

“He is quite the looker, isn’t he?” she giggled behind her fan, “Strong and handsome, as well.”

“My ladies. You are not fantasizing over the Crown Prince in my presence, are you?”

Crossing her leg over the other, your mother leaned forwards, elbows on her knees as she winked at your father. The marquess had his torso half twisted from the passenger seat, glaring playfully at your mother’s unabashed features. “It is of no seriousness, My Lord. I’m simply easing your daughter’s nerves.”

Your father sighed in worry. “What’s got you so worked up, child? You are beautiful. The Prince would be blind to not notice you.”

Each fibre in your body screamed in desperation for your father to be right. Tonight was not just any other night – the entire Kingdom, including noblewomen, foreign royals, and unwed daughters from honourable families had been invited to the Zen’in Castle for one purpose only: to find his Crown Prince a suitable wife, one that would be fit to be the next Queen as well. As the daughter of the marquess, you’d naturally received the invitation. It felt just like yesterday when the mail arrived and you’d cheered so much in joy the chickens went flying out of their coops, your horses galloping and whinnying at surprise, and now you here – minutes away from the palace where you were soon to be deemed worthy or unworthy to be beside His Highness.

With a shaky smile, you dug your nails into your thighs. “Well, we’ve only met once, Father. I doubt the Prince would remember me.”

“Just smile, darling. You will do great.”

To no one’s surprise, the Zen’in Castle brimmed with people and esteemed guests. Men and women danced with one another as muted chatters and chuckles blended in with the grand royal orchestra, everyone dressed to the nines and making you feel completely out of place.

The moment you’d been welcomed by the knights and led to the palace doors, your dress began to feel tighter than usual, your ribs clenching uncomfortably from the pressure. Your hands had not stopped trembling either, not even when you hid it behind your back and nodded at the people passing by. There were governor-generals, dukes, earls, professors and royal advisors and even families of the royal family’s inner circle of knights. Everyone looked like they belonged here. Chatting amongst one another over the finest of wines or discussing conspiracies on where the Kingdom of Zen’in would be in the next sixty years of the future King’s reign, no one here seemed to be out of place.

Everyone except you.

A warm hand was suddenly placed on the small of your back, making you gasp. Your mother’s smile was nothing short of warm as she held you close to her one last time, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t even realize how much you shook until she clasped her hands with yours. “Calm down, dear,” she reminded, “You’ll be on your own now. This is where we leave you since we’re not supposed to mingle with potential princesses.”

“Mother!” Your eyes widened in embarrassment. Looking around frantically, you bit your lip in fear someone must’ve heard.

Of course, while it would be no surprise most guests – if not all – hoped that their daughter would be the Crown Prince’s chosen fiancée, it still felt wrong to boldly assume such when you could barely keep up with the events of tonight.

However, your mother merely laughed. “I am proud of you, dear. Never forget that. It doesn’t matter whether you are chosen or not. We’re only here for formality and respect to the King and Queen’s demands.”

“You say that as if the Crown Prince really would not bother with me.”

“We didn’t mean that,” your father cut in, a flute of champagne already nested between his calloused fingers. Ever since you arrived, he’d been snatched away by fellow earls and barons, disappearing into the crowd for a ‘hearty conversation over one’s lands.’ You knew better than that, though. That statement always translated to which leader got to have more chances to wine and dine with the King, to which your family was ridiculously reminded of that you’d been stationed to the most faraway land where even hearing news from the royal papers was but a privilege.

“Just be yourself, alright? And enjoy the party. It’s about time you met with girls your own age and made some friends.”

“I – Father, wait!”

A slender young woman slithered to your side out of nowhere, her golden brown eyes following the silhouettes of your parents. It wasn’t long before they completely disappeared. Left alone with the stunning woman that was – for some reason – dressed in a plain black curve hugging dress too modest for tonight’s appropriateness, you took three steps away in caution. “You must be from way up North,” she noted, her head to the tipped to the side. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

God, was she beautiful. Long, thick eyelashes and short hair chopped in messy yet elegant curves, you struggled to hold her gaze. “Oh, yes, I come from the Terratian Borders. My family is stationed there under His Majesty’s orders.”

She hummed to herself. “The Terratian Borders are mostly forests and fields, no? The last time my family and I visited there, I came across the loveliest dandelions I’ve ever laid eyes on. Shame they died on the way back,” offering her hand – again, bare and empty with decorations yet still littered with faint scars and cuts – she beamed at you. “I’m Mai, by the way. Mai Zen’in.”

Zen’in?

Hands cupping your mouth, you bowed deep until your back ached. “Lady Mai!” you shut your eyes closed, unable to live with the shame. Mai Zen’in; one of the iconic twin pair from the extended Zen’in royal family, both a fashion icon and a legend for being a rumoured female knight. To have her in your presence was an honour. “My apologies for not recognizing you any sooner, Lady Mai!”

“Stand up, I’m not a royal,” she sniggered, “We’re just relatives of the actual monarch, but don’t let the family name fool you. The Crown Prince barely even acknowledges us being of the same blood.”

Albeit hesitant, you followed her gestures of making you stand up. You straightened your back and cleared your throat, fighting the urge to go haywire the moment his name was brought into the conversation. Not only would you be seeing Prince Naoya again in real life for the first time in years, but you’d also made acquaintances with his distant niece. However, his name was spoken with malice.

Frowning, you faced Lady Mai in all seriousness. “Prince Naoya? Why so?” Lady Mai looked at you like you’d grown two heads.

“He’s an ass, that’s why.”

“I-I don’t think he is,” you defended, “The Prince has been nothing but kind to me.”

“I didn’t know he was capable of kindness,” she muttered more so under her breath, low enough you were unsure whether you were supposed to hear it in the first place. Lady Mai then shook her head to herself before stealing a flute from a waiter passing by. Chucking it your way, her face turned dark and grim. “Take it as free advice: stay as far away from his as possible. The Crown Prince is nothing but good news.”

“Is it because he has lots of lovers?” you inquired with a small voice, “Uhm – well – It was an assumption. With a title and handsomeness like that, it would make sense everyone would want to be the Crown Prince’s lover.”

Lady Mai’s lip curled upwards. “Prince Naoya won’t bother with lovers. He is too occupied for that.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard from whom?”

“The Royal Declaration from His Majesty himself,” you said, “Was it not the purpose of this ball? To find worthy candidates to be the Crown Prince’s betrothed? His coronation is coming soon.”

“Right. I forgot today was technically a bridal market,” she scratched the edge of her brow, falling silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the lively crowd for a brief moment – watching with you as everyone laughed and danced to their heart’s content – the grand final event of the routine personal dance with the Crown Prince himself slowly approaching to reality. “You are joining in the festivities, are you not? Later, when he arrives, he shall meet you.”

“I am obligated to as a noble bachelorette, though I doubt His Highness would even look my way. There are far richer noblewomen here and even daughters of duke that would be perfect as his wife. ”

“You may have a point for that,” she hummed to herself, unaware that her agreement to the Crown Prince not paying attention to you left a sting both in your ego and heart. Not that it lasted long, for Lady Mai was already tugged on the arm by another equally fiercely beautiful woman – her older twin, Maki Zen’in. Soon to be governon-general of the Kingdom.

Lady Mai smiled in apology. “I need to go now since I’m not a part of this event. But hey, if ever I come around to visit the Borders again, perhaps you could entertain me?”

“I would be honoured to, Lady Mai.”

“You are sweet and innocent,” it was her sister who spoke this time, glasses perched high on her nose that concealed the wariness of her gaze. “I hope the Crown Prince never gets to your routine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s nothing; she was talking to herself. Maki does that a lot,” Lady Mai’s forced chuckles were barely heard from the music. “You enjoy the party now. Don’t drink too much lest you want to embarrass yourself in everyone’s eyes and be talk of the Kingdom. Prince Naoya would hate it if you took the attention away from him.”

“Oh, uhm...”

“It’s a joke, Lady Y/N. Relax.”

You bowed once more. “My apologies.”

“The dance is about to begin,” Maki tapped on your shoulder, making you look up right where her eyes zeroed in. And exactly in the middle of the grandiose hall, under the sparkling golden chandeliers where he made all the gold in the world look incomparable next to him, the Crown Prince stood in his fully glory. Blond hair with the ends stained of midnight gelled back to reveal his forehead, the Crown Prince’s beauty never failed to shine. Whether it be in the papers, in the tabloids, in the billboards that you passed on the way to the city, or from way back when you met him for the first time as a naive, innocent teen – Crown Prince Naoya came straight out of a magazine cover.

In the back of your head, you could hear either of the twins murmuring good luck. Maybe both of them had said it – you had no idea. All of your attention, all the sensibility and coherence of your state had been switched the next instant, as if your heart and soul was born for the sole purpose of being bewitched by your Crown Prince.

And as if feeling someone’s gaze on him, the Crown Prince’s eyes trailed over the crowd. Almost boredly, his sharp eyes bounced from one giggling woman to another, the ends of his lips smirking upwards for just the tiniest bit. It must’ve stroked his ego. Until his eyes connected with yours. The Crown Prince’s eyebrows knitted together. You had no idea how you looked in that moment, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. Because the Crown Prince was looking at you, and you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes along with your heart pulsing at the tip of your tongue.

“Let us begin,” his lips moved from the distance, “Play the music. I shall dance with my bride.”

The air shifted in a split second. Murmurs were thrown over the room, women and men alike turning pale. Even the orchestra was stunned from the Crown Prince’s entrance – and it hadn’t even been dramatic to his standards – yet the whole castle fell mum from just a few of his words. A few seconds later, the crowd recomposed itself, and the strings began to dance along with its bows.

You are pushed into the crowd. Nearly colliding into the arms of another, you quietly thank the masked man who was to be your first partner of the night.

All the men joining the dance floor dressed with the intention of making the Crown Prince shine. Prince Naoya stood out from the throng of white as per the colour code, his blood red uniform as both Prince with the  golden crest of the military leader pinned to his right breast. The other men meant to be filler partners until all the potential brides got to their designated three minutes with the Prince were all dressed in black, faces covered behind a plain black mask. None were allowed to talk. None were allowed to utter even a word, and so your partner pursed his lips in displeasure at your apology.

Whatever. You just had to wait a few more rounds before the song finished and transitioned into a new one; the song where you’d been informed would be your time alone with the Prince.

You’d been so lost in your head you barely breathed the entire dance. From partner to partner, you blanked. Your heart drummed so wildly in its cage it begged to come out, and strings of apologies were let out each time your masked partners grimaced for a brief second when their hands came in contact with your sweaty ones. Around you, all the lovely women smiled and danced graciously, mouths moving in unreadable conversations shared with the Crown Prince. Not once did you look at the six partners you’ve danced with. Not once did you worry about tripping on your own feet. Not once did you care that some of the masked men held you a little too roughly for your comfort. Your entire reason for existing in that moment was to witness the Crown Prince himself, mirroring his frown that got deeper and deeper with each woman retreating to the sea of people he’d rejected.

Not once did you even think about being one of them – the girls who’ve ducked their heads down as their parents comforted them over not being the chosen one, of bringing ‘dishonour’ to their families that the mighty Crown Prince had deemed them unworthy. Tears streamed down their faces until black ink followed afterwards, lips trembling from silent sobs.

Despite their broken prides – although there was that minority who simply sighed in relief after returning to their own families – no one would dare interrupt the Crown Prince’s dances.

All of these thoughts crossed your mind too late and at the exact time your masked partner pulled away from you, body half bent in a bow with his arm outstretched to the side. Following where he was gesturing at, your eyes met the Crown Prince’s tall and lean stature, a few blond fringes now fallen from his movements.

Even though a thin layer of sweat shone from his face, Prince Naoya remained ethereal.

And like a snake charmed by the musician’s seductive tone, your feet moved on its own. Fingers stretching until it met with the Crown Prince’s large and warm ones, you were now in front of him. With him. Holding him, touching him, meeting him eye for eye and realizing – gold. His eyes burned a deep shade of gold, elegantly rich and heartbreakingly stunning your heart ached.

Before you knew it, your hands began to tremble, feeling as if your body had been corded into a corset three sizes smaller. You could not breathe, and the Crown Prince took notice.

“You are stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” Good Saint. If only possible, you would’ve closed your eyes and basked in the deep warmth of his voice. It reverberated from deep within, breathed out with an air of natural authority and profound confidence it made your knees weak. As if sensing his effect on you (though for the wrong reasons, it seemed), Prince Naoya hummed to himself. “This routine shall last for a few minutes before I can let you go, I’m afraid.”

You instantly realized the implications of your silence. “N-not at all, Your Highness! I am honoured to be dancing with you.”

“There is no honour in a choreographed dance. Everyone will dance with me. It’s nothing special.”

Your heart fell. Prince Naoya not only sounded dejected, but detached as well. As if he found no pleasure or specialty in this event, at a time where he had every opportunity to meet his lover, and that this ball was merely a task to be checked off in his already long list of responsibilities. It wasn’t disappointment, per se, but rather melancholy that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because Prince Naoya held little to no regards for something you treasured, but because he sounded terribly alone. Like he was simply waiting for it to end out of discomfort.

“It’s special to me, Your Highness,” you blurted out faster than you could stop yourself. For a moment, you feared you may have offended him, but the Crown Prince only laughs.

And when he did – saint, when he laughed – his eyes crinkled into half moons, pearly whites flashing against the bright lights and his whole chest shook with amusement.

You’d never seen him smile this way before.

Prince Naoya’s laughter didn’t cease. Around you, your gut instincts told that people were now beginning to look; the Crown Prince’s deep rumbles of laughter sounded exquisitely like music as well, after all. “ Is it special to you because you are now dancing and within the Crown Prince’s proximity? As much as I presume how exhilarating it might be for those who mostly see me in the papers and in the tabloids, I assure you, dancing with your Prince is not an honour. Especially when you are all sent the invitations based on your status and not your worthy traits.”

“It’s special to me,” you mumbled, growing shy all of a sudden when the Crown Prince nodded at you to continue. “Because...because it reminds me of the first time we met.”

The Crown Prince hummed in amusement.

“We have met before?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m from the Terratian Borders – my father is a loyal servant of His Majesty. You visited the borders when you were eighteen and I was sixteen. Do you remember it, Your Highness? You stormed in my private library.”

Indeed, the young barely-out-of-his-teens Crown Prince barged into your home’s library years ago. You were not previously informed he and his parents would be visiting since they arrived wordlessly, so you were stuck in your chambers as usual, killing time if not for sleeping and tending to the animals. Perched on a ladder, you attempted to reach for a book on the upper shelf when your foot slipped beneath you. At the age of sixteen, you were dramatic enough to say your life flashed before your eyes. You would’ve screamed then had strong arms not appeared out of nowhere, the Crown Prince staring at you with wide, golden eyes as they were now, his breathy rasped as he asked, are you okay, my lady?

The mere recollection of that fateful memory had your cheeks warming in delight. “You were so charming and heroic back then. Even when I had no idea you were a royal, I would have still believed you to be princely,” you said rather absentmindedly, blinking once then twice at your words. “Of course, it’s understandable if you do not remember, Your Highness!”

“My apologies. I do not remember, though Terratia is a wonderful place. Such a shame I was not informed beforehand they had a lovely daughter.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you cheered back, cheeks and jaw beginning to ache from how wide you were smiling. But could anyone blame you? You felt absolutely silly that you were a breath away from passing out minutes ago, and now here you were, dancing with the Crown Prince and sharing memories with him like it was a daily occurrence. The words it’s true love when you feel at peace with them suddenly rang back at your head from that latest romance novel you read, and you turned away, hoping the Crown Prince would not read your thoughts to your face. However, Prince Naoya’s lips pursed into a thin line, all traces of humour now disappeared. “I’m sorry – should I not have laughed?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he mused with his jaw locked tight, “I just haven’t seen anyone react that way before.”

“Like what?”

“Like my words meant the entire universe to them. I may dare even say you look terribly in love, though I cannot blame you on that one, can I?”

Prince Naoya shook his head the minute the words left his mouth. Forcing himself to believe it couldn’t be real, perhaps, you truly did not know anymore. Your only plan for tonight was to see the Crown Prince and get to live out your dream of seeing him once more even for just a brief moment before you travelled back home while he married another, and yet – “Your Highness, I’m in love with you. I have always been since the day we met.”

You could no longer stop the words. The voice at the back of your head begged you to shut up and not cause a scene, that your time had passed up and people were staring, yet you remained in his arms no matter how much you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

“Please do not misunderstand me, Your Highness. I did not come here to attempt to steal your heart and be your wife, though I will admit I have dreamt of meeting you again for so many moons. I...I only want to tell you this. That I love you and even though it was a brief moment, I think the love I’ve always read about felt real and possible for the first time in my life,” chuckling nervously, you gather to courage to face him, adoration shining for the Crown Prince stood shock still before you, however stunned he may be. “I love you, Your Highness. I love you. And to whoever lucky woman you choose to be your betrothed, I hope she takes care of you and showers you with all the affection you are deserving of. You would make a great King. So God help his Crown Prince, and may you lead us all into a better world.”

Prince Naoya did not budge a muscle. His eyes remained hard on yours, breath warm as his nostrils fumed. With each passing second that he did not speak, you grew restless and tugged your arm away from his hold with a disgraceful smile.

You’d truly crossed your line. The repercussions to be faced for this impoliteness would destroy your family’s honour. You had to leave. “Your Highness? The song has changed. It’s time to let go—”

The Crown Prince inched close enough until his hair tickled your cheeks, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he pulled you close, close enough that your lower bodies touched. Skin ablaze with heat, you dared not move an inch. “Do you mean it?” he demanded lowly, his fingers ghosting over your wrist to hold you in place. “Do you truly love me? Not for what I have, not for who I was born to be, but me as a person itself?”

Closing your eyes to shudder in a deep breath, you exhaled. “Of course, Your Highness. Even if you were not born as a Prince, I’m sure I would’ve still loved you in a different universe.”

“But I do not know you.”

“We don’t have to know each other, Your Highness, and we never will. Once you let me go, I’ll return to the shadows where I belong, and I will continue supporting you until the day of your coronation.”

“And if I refuse to let you go?” he clicked his tongue, “What will you do then?”

The Crown Prince’s spicy perfume must be an aphrodisiac or hypnotizer of sorts. Everything he did messed with your mind that it was too late – the music had stopped and people were no longer drinking or chatting. Everyone’s eyes were on you and the Crown Prince. You could only imagine how controversial this position must be; with his lips trailing dangerously close to that sensitive spot in your neck where you nearly moaned. You really needed to leave.

“P-people are looking, Your Highness. You do not want this affair with someone you won’t choose—”

“Who said I won’t choose you?” Finally, he pulled away. But Prince Naoya never once tore his gaze away from yours, nor did he allow you to look at anyone but him as he caresses your jaw so light and feathery you wondered if he was truly there.“Who said I haven’t laid my eyes on you the moment you walked in here? This ball is for naught because of you, Lady Y/N. I’ve already made my choice, and you helped me confirm it as soon as you danced with me.”

“Your Highness...”

“Look at me,” he ordered, your eyes flitting from his pinkish lips to his sharp nose and then to his fox-like gaze. Only this time, Prince Naoya was no longer harsh. “Don’t be scared.”

“But they’re looking.”

“You are with me, of course they’ll look,” he teased, “They wish to be you right now. But ignore them and dance one more time with me.”

It wasn’t like you had a choice, but did it matter? One nod from him was all it took before the orchestra fumbled back to their spots and a new song played, Ode of Moonlight Lovers, and the Crown Prince was guiding you back to where he had originally danced with you.

From the corners of your eyes, you caught a glimpse of your parents with their mouths gaped open; your father looking like he was on the verge of passing out. However, you felt nothing but joy, nothing but the adrenaline pumping through your veins as he danced and twirled you in his arms. When the music stopped and you were both panting for air with silly smiles on your face, it dawned on you that you were with the Prince. No, rather, it was only you and the Prince alone. Even in the sea of people whose faces began to blur, he prevailed crystal clear.

You could recognize him anywhere, find him everywhere.

Prince Naoya stepped impossibly closer until your chests touched, hearts beating as one. Cupping your jaw, he was near enough that he swallowed all your shaky breaths with a small, teasing smile like you both shared a secret the entire world could not know.

“Do I still make you nervous?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Yes, Your Highness. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“It’s beloved now,” he corrected, face inching closer and closer to a point you could count the number of his lower lashes. “And what do lovers do to seal their union?”

“M-Marriage?”

“Close, but this is much better.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would have a love story ripped out straight from a fairytale, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were no Cinderella, nor were you a goddess of beauty that could’ve possibly caught the Crown Prince’s eye. Yet, his soft lips were on yours, kissing you with as much passion you could only dream of that you cried.

Strong hands guiding the back of your waist, Prince Naoya dipped you lower to the ground – the grand of finish of his dance. He had chosen his bride.

The crowd cheered and rejoiced all around you, making you smile into the kiss. Fisting his collar to bring him closer to yours, your mouth burst into metaphorical fireworks as soon as his tongue mingled with yours for an experimental taste. He was bitter yet sweet; expensive wine resting on his tongue, yet a delicate vanilla sat heavily on his soft lips that molded with yours. It was a taste you could spend forever being addicted on. And you were crying, crying so much your chest ached and the Prince’s cheeks grew damp from yours. You’d dreamt of this for so long, too long now.

Prince Naoya slowly pulled you away, his thumb wiping the tears away from the pads of your cheeks with tenderness in his touch. However, the Prince was not satisfied. The crowd whooped as he leant down to kiss your forehead. “You are mine now, my princess.”

Looping his hands with yours, the Crown Prince led you out of the castle. The crowd parted naturally to make way for the new couple, and you were left staring at his broad back and the tuft of blond hair where you’d soon find out how soft it would be. Sending one last glance to your crying parents, you waved goodbye. You had no idea where the Crown Prince would take you but you were already bunching your dress up, heart completely filled with trust you did not question it. What mattered tonight and for the rest of your life was that it felt right. That it was him – your beloved Prince Naoya Zen’in and soon to be husband – that you’d follow through the moon and back.

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[aphrodite-made-me-write-it]

The Problem (With Crushes)

REQ: I just read all of your Natasha romanoff fics and i'm in love ! PLEASE may i ask for a scenario where Natasha has a crush on reader but hides it by being cold with R until one day where they both almost die on a mission. After that There's a fight and R kisses Nat and ...smut smut? (With R as a top please?) I hope this request doesn't bother you, if it does please juste ignore it. Thank you and have a nice day ^^ (Anon)

(A/N) i miss fun ads. pre-panorama i got ads for dumb things like new videogames or movies... now it’s like, antidepressants and life insurance asldkfj like excuse me,,, are u trying to tell me something??? anyway here’s some pron. hope u enjoy. like comment and subscribe x

Rating: E (Explicit!! 18+!!)

Warnings: Natasha Romanoff Is A Brat And We All Know It; And She Has A Praise Kink (Change My Mind You Can’t); Smut; P0rn With (Minimal) Plot; Nothing kinky this time sorry guys uwu just pron; OH ALSO there’s slight gore but not really that bad or detailed

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader

Word Count: 4,546

Synopsis: You finally take your place at your brother’s side by joining the Avengers, and thankfully, you get along with almost everyone. Almost.

why is this gif so hot to me as;ldfkjsdfk

When your brother revealed himself as Iron Man, you knew your easy days as the Family Disappointment were over. Not that you had anyone but him to disappoint - something you rarely did anyway - but it meant your days of slacking off were over. To your surprise, though - and, at the time, relief - he didn’t drag you into it. Didn’t even want you to be part of it. Not that you had FOMO or anything, but you’d have thought being Tony Stark’s mutant half-sister would have at least gotten you a visit by his mysterious organization buddies.

It took a few short years, though, for the beans to spill. Maybe you were a little angry at him - being fifteen years apart and from different mothers meant that for a long time, you and Tony only communicated with the occasional holiday greeting card and the bit of money your father had left you. He only connected with you when he thought he was dying, and after that you were sort of stuck together. You’d even say you got along perfectly fine, as any siblings should, but with his devotion to the Avengers you felt… what, abandoned? Left out?

You don’t really know why you did what you did. You had always known you’d be caught sooner or later. Mutant Fighting Rings were, after all, illegal and shut downs were frequent no matter where they popped up. Still, that didn’t stop you from participating, did it?

You like to say you’re the Improved Stark; the more expensive model. You conduct electricity like a lightning rod, able to aim it long distances that could even rival that blonde guy your brother trapses around with. You inherited the Stark Genius, of course, and used the skills you’d learned from Tony to build your own suit of sorts. Gloves that were lined with thin wires that enhanced your electrical abilities, and similar conductive materials beneath the kevlar material of your suit made you the undefeated champion of this underground world.

Okay, maybe you’re more like your brother than you thought. The adoration and the attention were more addictive than any drug. You lived for the applause. Thrived on it. The bigger the opponent, the more joy you found in taking them down. There was always someone to beat, always a way to win. To outsmart them, to outmaneuver them, to outlast them. You got sloppy, somewhere in the middle, you know, and that’s how you find yourself where you are now.

In SHIELD’s custody. 

Tony, looking in at you from the outside of this dumb cell with such disappointment it makes you want to cringe and crawl away. You don’t, though. You stare right back at him, jaw clenched, not saying a damn word. Because, yeah, you’re more similar than you’d like to admit.

“When were you gonna tell me you could fight like that?” He asks, finally breaking the silence that made your skin tingle. 

Your stomach drops, along with your jaw. “Wait, what?”

He breathes out a disbelieving laugh. “That suit? Genius. I never thought you could give a boost to your powers, but wow. I bet we can think of something better, something more durable. You looked a little stiff when-”

“You’re seriously rewarding your sister’s behavior?” A female voice inquires, heels clacking beside heavy bootsteps approach from beyond your brother. 

Tony’s grin falls. “What? I thought that’s what we were doing?”

“She’s in a cell and you thought-”

“He’s not entirely wrong,” another man interrupts. As he comes into focus, you notice he’s got an eyepatch and wicked scarring around it. He looks intimidating as all hell, it makes your hands tremble a little with uncontrollable surges of electricity. “We assumed her powers were… let’s say, not up to our standards.”

“Gee, thanks,” you and Tony gripe at the same time. You share a look, making the redheaded woman standing rigidly between the men roll her eyes.

“But we were wrong. I’m Director Fury. I run things here at-” Eyepatch continues but you cut him off.

“Oh you’re Fury.” You nod with a hum. “That explains a lot. So then you’re… Natasha, right?” You look at the woman, who only scowls at you in response. “Tony said you were grumpy but he never said you were-”

“Don’t finish that sentence if you want to live,” Tony warns.

And just like that, you’re an Avenger.

- - - -

For some foolish reason, you thought Natasha Romanoff’s annoyance with you would end after she got used to you. You weren’t a blood-thirsty criminal, after all, so she really had no reason to assume the worst of you. It quickly becomes apparent, however, that that is not the case. 

She seems to go out of her way to avoid you throughout the Tower, leaving a room just about as soon as you enter it. It was annoying for plenty of reasons, the primary being that she’s the only one who has a problem with you.

At first, you try not to let it get to you. You focus, instead, on the new designs of your suit with Tony. You manage to make it possible for you to walk up buildings, which Peter is eager to teach you. It quickly becomes a race, during most missions. The others sometimes have trouble getting you two to stop competing and focus. (But you’d take getting scolded anyday as long as it made the kid happy.)

Thor and you have invented a new game, wherein you pass bolts of lightning back and forth, back and forth - much to the horror of the others. One miss can result in an unfortunate accident, but so far, that miss hasn’t happened. It’s handy during fights, too, so they can’t be too upset about it.

You just seem to blend in seamlessly with everyone else. Everyone else. Except for Natasha. Normally, it isn’t a problem; but you also haven’t had a mission that depends entirely on her cooperation before. That is, not until now. 

You were both the stealthiest out of the group, but it was rare that a mission relied on just the both of you. You usually had the company of Steve or Tony or even Bruce or Clint. Not this time, though. 

It was, in theory, an easy mission. Wouldn’t last more than a few hours. Painless, quick, efficient. In practice? Not so much.

The Hydra facility was supposed to be abandoned, and empty. That was enough of a hiccup, finding it teeming with life. You still had a job to do: find out what’s really going on. You started off watching from afar, but the silence felt heavy and unnatural, so the both of you decided sneaking into one of the main offices and using one of Tony’s all-in-one hacking device was the best solution. In and out. 

Except, no, it was not in and out.

Natasha can’t stop drumming her fingers impatiently as the files upload onto the device. You try to keep your eyes trained on the door leading out of the office. She’s been antsy ever since you had to make her piggyback on you so you could slip inside the window without being detected, as if by touching you she became agitated.

And, honestly? You’re getting agitated too. If she’s going to act like a child, she might as well tell you what the hell her problem is to your face. Right?

“If you have something to say,” you huff in an angry whisper, “just say it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Natasha responds flatly, keeping her eyes trained on the screen. 38%. 

“You clearly have an issue with me. I’d appreciate it if I knew what the hell I did wrong.” You look at her with annoyance, but she still doesn’t meet your gaze. 

“I don’t-” her voice almost raises. She struggles to control it, glancing up at you with a flash of anger in her green eyes. “I don’t have an issue with you,” she hisses, a little quieter but still holding as much venom as she can muster. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” you scoff, turning back to the door with a scowl. “Is it ‘cause I’m Tony’s sister? I went over a decade without meeting him. Before that, I was just our dad’s bastard kid he didn’t want to lay claim to. His hush money paid our bills, filled our bellies. His will left me just enough for college, and I mean just enough.” Your own volume is raising, but you can’t control it. “I’m not whatever spoiled, trustfund bitch you’ve created in your head without ever trying to know me-”

“Shut up,” Natasha’s hand covers your mouth, making you yelp with surprise. There are footsteps rapidly approaching. You look to the monitor with wide, panicked eyes. 54%.

“Fuck,” you mutter against her glove-clad palm, making it sound more like, ‘fuff’.

Natasha removes her hand in a jerky motion, as if she’d just remembered it was over your mouth, and lowers to a crouch. You follow her action, the cubical allowing some bit of cover. You reach blindly for the keyboard, lowering the brightness all the way to zero so that the monitor doesn’t call too much attention to your location. 

You meet Natasha’s eyes with uncertainty, feeling embarrassed by your outburst. You don’t find the usual cold distrust, though. There’s a calm sort of confidence, the eyes of someone with a plan and the authority to pull through with it. You give her trusting nod, watching her slip out of the cubical and following a breath after just as the door bursts open. 

You go in opposite directions, hoping to get an angle on whoever is in the room with you and meet back at the original cubical. Hopefully by then, the extractions will be finished and you can get out and head back to the Tower. 

Your heart is hammering in your ears. This is your favorite part: the Before. The moments that change everything in a fight. It makes your skin prickle, charged with static. You inhale slowly as you notice a shadow moving, the unmistakable symbol of Hydra flashing for only a moment.

Gunfire makes you jump with alarm. Natasha is standing, exposed to any daring enough to shoot her. You groan and stand, taking in the electricity around you and releasing it in a single bolt that trails between two of the several Hydra goons before dying out. 

“So much for being discreet!” You quip as an alarm flashes red, sirens blaring. 

“Fuck,” Natasha hisses. 

You leap back, almost stumbling over the body that had somehow ended up behind you. You don’t examine it, though, choosing instead to scurry through the maze of cubicles until you make it to the one with Tony’s little friend. 

“Fuck!” You yelp. Natasha shoots at one of the soldiers as they file in, looking over her shoulder at you with a raised eyebrow. “Eighty-six percent!” You announce, earning a groan.

You’re going to have to take matters into your own hands.

You take a deep breath and rush to Natasha’s side, sending bolts after bolts of lightning at the swarming bodies. They’re like roaches, seeming to come out of every surface. You’re sweating, losing control a bit as your aim becomes sloppy. You punch someone in the jaw before leaping onto the ceiling to check the monitor again.

89%. 

So fucking close. But there’s too many of them.

“Nat, we have to bolt!” You shout at her as you drop back at her side. “We can’t-”

“We need those files!” She snaps.

“This is a deathwish.”

“Just a few more minutes!”

There’s a wildness to her gaze. Like she doesn’t give a fuck about her life. For some reason, it cuts you deep. Hits you so hard, you’re almost breathless. Your next wave of lightning is harsher than any you’ve used so far, paralyzing several bodies around you. The scent of burning flesh hits your nose.

“Natasha Romanoff, get your goddamn ass back to the computer.” You order, to which she actually laughs. 

“I’m the superior, here. I don’t answer to you.” She snarls.

“Oh yeah?” You scoff, picking her up unceremoniously. Natasha yelps, an arm wrapping around your neck as you carry her bridal-style to where the monitor is. She looks over your shoulder to shoot, the maneuver causing her chest to press against your shoulder and her breathing to hit your ear in warm puffs.

“You’re,” she pants, “a fucking asshole.”

“And you’re insane.” You growl, looking at the monitor. TRANSFER COMPLETE. “Fucking finally!” You announce, disconnecting the device and pocketing it. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. Cover me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she grunts.

When you climb back down the window, you’re simultaneously surprised and pleased to find out Natasha can hold on with just her thighs. It’s not even painful, either. Actually, you’d hate to admit it, but it’s kind of the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

But you will never give her that satisfaction.

You just focus on using the last bits of your energy to boost your speed, letting you dart through the swarms of Hydra soldiers with minimal damage to either you or the redhead. It’s all a blur, how you get back to the quinjet. Adrenaline alone keeps your mind in tunnel-vision.

It’s truly a miracle either of you survived.

Your brain is still buzzing when you’re in the air. You finally come down from the high of the battle, Natasha looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“What the hell was that, Romanoff?” You ask, unable to mask the bite to your tone as you catch her staring. “You could’ve gotten us killed!”

“We did what we had to do, and now it’s over, and neither of us died.” She responds icily. “You’re the one that picked me up and ran with me.”

“Because you refused to leave!” You throw your hands up in exasperation, wincing at the sting in your shoulder at the motion. “Do you have a deathwish? Should I inform Fury you’re recklessly endangering yourself because-”

“You’re bleeding,” she remarks, tone gentle. She reaches out, touches a spot on your shoulder that stings. It’s such an abrupt change in tone and attitude, it stuns you into complete silence.

Ah, yes. You remember getting that. You saw the red dot on Natasha’s back and did the only thing you could think to do. You didn’t even feel the pain of the gunshot, didn’t register it at all. 

You unzip your suit, shrugging off your left sleeve to reveal the bloodied fleshwound. You don’t miss the way the redhead’s eyes dart down, seeming to scan your torso before settling on the bullet wound. She moves to the first aid kit on the wall, fishing out several supplies before sitting down gingerly beside you.

She’s silent as she works, eyebrows pulled together in concentration. “The bullet’s still inside,” she informs you. “I’m going to have to take it out.”

“Wait,” you finally find your voice. “Are you qualified to be doing this?”

“It’s a long flight home. I’m not letting you spend it with a piece of metal lodged in your arm. Besides, if we wait too long, it could do more damage.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“I’m qualified enough.” This time, her tone offers no room for argument. She’s watching you in that same authoritative way she had back in the Hydra facility.

(You’d love to wipe that look off her face. To watch her lose control.)

She moves to grab something else from that metal box, and your mind wanders. It always wanders, especially when Natasha is involved. This is a side you have never, ever seen before, much less directed at you. It’s a caring side, a tender one. Almost as if she doesn’t hate your guts.

She returns with gloves and what looks like something to remove the bullet in your arm. You try not to wince at it, but she notices the way your face pales with dread.

“You didn’t even notice you were shot, but you’re going to be a baby about having the bullet taken out?” She teases.

“Shut up,” you mutter, looking away from her. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve done this before,” she assures. She gives you a folded spare shirt she must have fished from one of the nearby boxes kept in case of emergencies. You place a corner in your mouth, meeting her gaze worriedly.

To your surprise, she’s gentle. It hurts like all hell, of course, but Natasha keeps a hand steadying your arm with soft, barely noticeable pressure. She removes the bullet with ease, so quickly you almost can’t believe it’s actually out. She cleans it, wordlessly, but with the practiced patience of someone who has, in fact, done this many times.

Then, she’s stitching the wound closed and tapping your elbow. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You blurt, blushing despite yourself.

“Normally, people thank me after I take a piece of metal out of their body.” She quips, gathering the materials she can return to the first aid kit and tossing the rest. 

“But you hate me.”

She pauses, shutting the first aid kit with a metallic click.

“I don’t hate you,” she sighs, shoulders sinking. 

“You avoid me like I’ve got cooties.” You frown. “You practically ignore me. It’s tiring, not knowing what the hell I did to deserve that.”

“I’m sorry.” 

It surprises you, honestly, the way she looks so open when she turns to look at you again. So vulnerable. Very much unlike the Natasha you’ve come to know. You’re grateful the quinjet is piloted by Tony’s Autopilot AI, allowing you this beautiful glimpse at this New Natasha. 

Her cheeks are burning red, a brilliant blush that looks unfairly lovely on her soft features. “When I, um… when I start to… feel things… for people, I get… scared. And I tend to be an ass. Clint’s words, not mine.” She clears her throat awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to, uh, make it seem like… I hated you.”

You can’t stop the smirk from spreading across your lips. “You have a crush on me?”

Look, as mean as she comes off as, there’s no denying Natasha is a bombshell of a woman. Damn gorgeous. This ego boost is one that’s gone straight (or, not-so-straight) to your head (among other places).

Natasha’s blush worsens, thanks to her already pale skin. “I-I didn’t call it a crush. It’s not-”

“No, you can’t take it back.” You’re grinning, now, almost maniacally. “You’re into me! Wow- wait ‘til Tony-”

“Oh my god, don’t you dare-” she starts, but you cut her off by standing and crossing the small distance it takes to meet her. You shrug off your other sleeve on the way, freeing your arms so you can wrap them around her waist. Natasha inhales sharply at the action, looking at you with questionable suspicion. 

“No more avoiding,” you order in a hushed tone. You don’t miss the way her pupils dilate, the way her breath hitches. “No more ignoring me.”

“Yeah?” She breathes unsteadily, eyes flickering down to your lips. “Or else what?”

With little hesitation, you push your lips against hers. She tenses, at first, but relaxes and returns the kiss hungrily. Heatedly. Like she already can’t get enough of it. Her fingers curl into the material of the tank top you’d been wearing beneath your suit, bunching it up until your stomach is exposed and the rest of the suit falls down your hips a little.

Natasha’s tongue pushes into your mouth, vying for control of the kiss that you are unwilling to relinquish. Your fingers dig into her waist, earning a quiet gasp from the redhead that turns into a moan when you press her against the wall.

“How long,” you pull away breathlessly, humming when plump lips move to your neck. “How long ‘til we’re at the Tower?”

She hums, thoughtful for a moment. “Long enough.”

“You’re ambitious,” you tease, running one of your hands up her spine in feather-light strokes. 

Natasha shudders. “Well, when I want something, I tend to get it.”

“Is that so?” You chuckle lowly, moving to place heated kisses along her neck. Your hand twists in her hair, tugging roughly to expose more of her neck. Natasha whimpers at the action, blunt nails digging into your back. 

It’s a tangle of limbs and tossed clothing as you pull each other towards the only bed in the quinjet - an infirmary bed, meant for one person at a time and uncomfortable. You push Natasha onto it, vaguely aware of where you’d thrown her own suit aside and out of the way. Your lips are everywhere you can reach, placing frantic kisses and forming bruises in some places. 

Natasha’s hands skim your shoulders, your back, your neck; gasps and moans falling from her lips like music to your ears. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” you admire breathlessly.

Natasha twitches when your fingertips give minute sparks. “That feels good… do that again.”

“So bossy,” you tease, but oblige with tiny waves of electricity as you drag your hands to her hips. She lets out a soft whimper. “Shame I can’t take my time with you,” you sigh, moving down to place a gentle kiss on the scar just above her bikini line. “I’d love to hear you make more sounds than that.”

“So you’ll stop being a tease, then?” She huffs, impatiently bucking her hips. 

You laugh lowly, gripping her hips and pinning them to the bed. The action makes her suck in a sharp breath, pink spreading across her cheeks. “Nobody said that.” You place another kiss on the inside of her thighs, biting when she twitches again. “You’re a brat, you know that?”

“I could always take care of myself,” she warns.

“Yeah?” You pull away, releasing her all at once and sitting back with a wide smirk. “Go ahead. I’ll watch.”

“No, no, wait,” she whines, reaching down to grab your wrists. “I’m sorry.”

“Now you’ve gotta beg for it.”

The expression on her face almost makes you laugh. As if she were saying, ‘The Audacity!’ But you keep smirking, not moving an inch. Natasha huffs, rolls her eyes, juts her bottom lip out into a pout. It’s adorably amusing.

Her resolve crumbles. “Fine. Please.”

“Please what, buttercup?” You tease, batting your eyelashes.

Natasha’s eye twitches just a little before she switches into another version of herself you’ve seen before, though, not directed at you. She leans forward, slowly enough to stun your brain as you get a look at her black lingerie, but quick enough that you’re unable to react. Her lips brush your ear.

“Please, fuck me,” she purrs, pulling the lobe of your ear between her teeth. 

Well, that’s as good as you’re going to get. (For now.)

You push Natasha onto her back again, hands gripping her thighs as they wrap around your waist. You connect your lips in a rough kiss, one of your hands moving to cup her covered center. To your astonishment, she’s absolutely soaked. You both let out muffled moans at the action, the rising heat in your body effectively ending all coherency in your brain that isn’t set to Fuck Natasha mode.

Your hands skim along her sides, blunt nails raising goosebumps in their wake. She shivers beneath you, that control she so obviously loves finally in your hands. You’re in awe of each noise she makes as you explore the map of her body. You find that scar again, a light bump, and smooth your fingertips over it as you pull back from the kiss to catch your breath.

She’s properly flushed, now, green eyes vibrant and dark with want. 

“You really are beautiful, Nat,” you murmur, softer than before. She swallows, seemingly struggling to speak.

“Can you please just fuck me already?” Natasha huffs around a whimper.

You laugh a little, lowering your mouth to her neck to place slow, teasing kisses. You push aside her panties, sliding your fingers through her folds and around her clit. Natasha gasps, arching into you. 

“So wet for me,” you bite down a little at her neck, earning a guttural groan from the redhead. “Or was it the adrenaline that has you so worked up?”

“You. Definitely you.” She answers breathlessly as you slip your fingers inside of her. “The- on the wall, when you-” she attempts to explain, but quickly diminishes into restrained whimpers.

Is she really trying to be modest with you? You almost want to laugh. Instead, you ease a third finger inside of her and press your thumb to her clit to rub lazy circles against it. Natasha moans freely, now; it bounces off of the walls of the jet.

“That’s it, baby,” you praise. “Good girl. I want to hear you scream for me.”

The second 'good girl’ leaves your lips, Natasha bucks against you with a sharp exhale. Grinning to yourself, you move to her ear.

“You like that? Being called my good girl?” You ask huskily. Her resounding moan is confirmation enough. “You’re so good, in fact,” you continue, kissing down to her jaw, then her neck. “-that I would love-” another gentler kiss to her scar “-to taste you.”

You replace your fingers with your tongue before sucking her clit between your lips. When her legs move to your shoulders and her fingers tighten in your hair, an unbidden cry of your name falling from Natasha’s lips like a prayer, you actually moan yourself. This, you think, this is where I want to die. Between Natasha Romanoff’s thighs.

Natasha’s hips ride against your mouth and fingers, your pace unrelenting as you find spots deep inside of her that make her twitch and moan. She’s already so close, her velvety walls pulsing around your fingers when you curl them against her sweet spot. 

You slow your pace, looking up at her lustfully. “Look at me, Nat,” you order. Her eyes snap open, meeting yours with surprising vulnerability. “That’s it, baby.” You pick up the pace again. “Look at me when you cum for me. Good girl.”

Her thighs tighten around you. You use your free hand to control her hips’ movements. “Oh my fucking-” she pants, almost tilting her head back. “(Y/N)- I’m- I’m gonna-”

“That’s it. Be a good girl and cum for me.” You return to running your tongue over her clit; once, twice, and Natasha is almost screaming your name, her body thrashing as her orgasm overwhelms her. You let her ride it out, replacing your fingers with your tongue to lap at her.

When she’s left to gentle afterquakes, you move back up to kiss her neck softly. She wraps her arms around your waist lazily, as if her limbs were too heavy.

“How’s your arm?” She asks, and it takes you a moment to realize she’s talking about the wound. 

“Probably fine. Good enough for round two?”

She snorts, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I think we’ve already landed.”

“Oh,” you pull back with a frown. “So…”

“So we’ll have to get it checked out at the Infirmary first.” She smirks. “THEN round two.”

- - - -

Tags!: @nobody13 ♡ @fireflyglass ♡ @swords-are-cool ♡ @artapdarkstr ♡ @pasta-bandit ♡ @multi-images ♡ @blackxwidowsxwife

#i felt like a top when i wrote this #like damn the things i would-- #WELL anyway #i hope this was ok!!! #sorry it was late!! #i am a slow idiot!! #also also my captain america shield is in the mail it's coming friday im gonna scream #yes gimmegimmegimmegimme #alright here we go the boring tags #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff smut #black widow smut #avengers smut #ALSO YES NATASHA DID SAVE R'S LIFE AND I LIKE TO THINK AFTER THIS SHE CONFESSED THAT AND HER UNDYING LOVE BIG UWU #nobody13 #fireflyglass #swords-are-cool #artapdarkstr #pasta-bandit #multi-images #blackxwidowsxwife

[nyarsenic]

hi um,,, hewwo,, boy sorry to bother u about this but you have typed a bulletpoint outline of all the beginning of the Cinderella AU as well as a sorta fic of the very ending, but do u have bulletpoints for what happens in the middle? like, what's the mystery? who's out solving it? I think tumblr tagging system is not letting me see all the posts I remember seeing

*entrapta voice* IVE WAITED YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME TO TALK MORE ABOUT THE CINDERELLA AU

Heres a masterlist and a little elaboration!!

[Cinderella Au Masterpost]

First post/Main Cast Designs

Second Post

Molly, Trixie, Feenie

Story Cover

The Prince of VILLAINY!!

Jaq and Gus

Wheres Zora, Rams, and Howie?

Feenie and Trixie (Elaborated)

How the gang buddies up

OH HEY THERES OUR VILLAINS

The Clock Strikes 12

Cinderella Au Edits

Zora Sketch

Zora and Yooms

Pik Fancomic 🥺

[Elaboration]

The AU was originally just some patched together ideas but!! I have some more consistent thoughts about it now.

This AU takes place about 5 months before Sweet Jazz Museum is announced to the public.

Molly still runs the shop like in canon, but she does it with help of two plushies she got from her mother who "watch the counter" while she stocks things.

As this takes place around the holiday, Molly is putting up some festive toys and things. She admires the glass rabbit figurines she displays.

She soon gets a call from Feenie inviting her to a charity ball/masquerade in a week! It was to celebrate the opening of the Sweet Jazz museum. The things people would give would instead be antiques rather than money to display in the museum.

Molly is excited! She has that day off AND she sewed the cutest accessory to go with a dress she had in the back.

But the excitement would soon wear off when Lorelai 'accidentally' ruined her dress and her Dad left her in charge of the shop. Even though he promised...

Exhausted from school and the night of running the shop yesterday- her eyelids began to grow heavy. And soon Slyvie would appear from the Ether.

[insert fairy goddoctor rules here] Sylvie grants her wish of wanting to go to the ball, creates her dress, turns the glass rabbit figurine into glass slippers, and gives her a sheep steed.

The only caveat is that his magic wears off at 12, and that everyone in question will remember her as a dream they cant quite recall. To keep track of the time and to call upon him, he gives her his pocket watch.

Mollys like alright lets go. She arrives at the party and everythings great!! The Ball is fancy, theres great food, interesting people, but more importantly her friends!!

About an hour of goofing around in the halls, eating appetizers, checking out the pretty antiques, and talking go by in a flash.

In the middle of their discussion of paranormal things- Feenie suddenly notices the Family Heirloom she was wearing, suddenly vanished.

The heirloom in question is a golden bell with beautiful carvings, and a latch on the clapper to keep it from ringing. No one has dared to use it, as it puts people to sleep. Some people say only a day, others say forever.

Thus trio panics and Molly goes to eavesdrop on people, playing it safe. She doesnt believe in her epithet abilities at this point so she simply uses them to listen to an obviously shady guy.

That shady guy was Giovanni, stealing silverware and food for his precious minions. Because DUH stealing from the rich is COOL!! But he explains he'd never steal a stupid bell.

Giovanni soon finds all his boys knocked out in the hall adjacent to where he just was. NOW THIS WAS PERSONAL MATTER OF PRIDE. He shall help the kid. He shall name her bear trap uwu

Molly, Feenie, Trixie and Giovanni team up ((after trixie and gios initial spiderman point at eachother)) to investigate where the people who stole the bell are and why they stole it in the first place.

Upon arriving to see Howie Honeyglow asleep (standing up?!), the Fleecity family guards arrives as well. She introduces herself as Percy, in her spare time she is a Private Investigator and wishes to aid the group in their search for information of the perpetrator in return.

The thing that is baffling the group the most is that there were shadowed figures following giovanni before he found his boys knocked out, how they stole it off of Feenie with out anyones notice, and how it seems that problems outside of the bell keep arising.

Molly eventually cracks the code that maybe the bell was just a red herring- and that perhaps the perpetrator(s?) were after something bigger. Something better. Something IMPOSSIBLE to steal in front of crowds of hundreds. That is- unless the crowd was asleep. They are after the green amulet that was featured in the display. It was the main piece.

A insanely muscular butler kidnaps them and throws them in a makeshift jail after their revelation of figuring out who it was. Indus apologizes to the group for the inconvenience, however he must do what he must to serve his lady.

Though to everyones surprise, Indus informs them he and his lady didnt get it from Feenie. They got it from Ramsey (who happened to be in the cell with them) who Giovanni remembers from his training guide and Percy just cant seem to remember what his name reminds her of.

Molly realizes oh shit his lady may be in big ass trouble, if ramsey or indus or mera didnt knock out Giovannis boys- then who did?

Indus releases the group under the condition that he must save his lady (and thanks them for the tip/favor). The group splits up to find Mera, and hopefully not run into danger

Uh oh molly runs into danger! Mera is the danger. She was about to put the entire hall of people to sleep with the bell.

Molly and mera have their stand off and in true epithet fashion, Meras ass gets kicked by Molly using her epithet in combination with Giovanni (and this time percy as well!)

From an outside perspective, we see Zora and Yoomtah confirming that the Arsene Amulet is going to be at Sweet Jazz Museum to their boss. Yoomtah is giggling at the sight of the fight from outside.

Before mera completely gets knocked out Mollys dress is torn by mera. Molly excuses herself to patch up her dress and when she returns- Giovanni points out that her mask has gone missing

Oh no. Its twelve. (the rest can be seen the in the clock strikes twelve post)

In Percy and Gios perspective, they are looking for someone they cant quite remember. Percy urgently feels as if she must return this glass rabbit figurine- to whom she doesnt know. And even though all of Giovannis boys have woken up, he feels like one is missing.

The two decide to team up once more to track down the mystery person. With a lil help from ramsey on the side.

They eventually track down the person in question! Said person is a 12 year old girl, with a bear hoodie and curly hair with stars. They know her as a friend. And that friend is currently getting scolded for not watching the store yesterday night.

Giovanni is about to go HAM on whoever this jackass of a dude is, but percy cuts in a proceeds to roast the shit out of him for making his minor child all by herself tirelessly.

Giovanni takes this opportunity to "kidnap her" (take her to get ice cream) and soon Percy joins in. Molly realizes maybe her life isn't hopeless at all ;w;

Okay perhaps that was more of a fic than a blurb but nevertheless here you are!!!!!

I hope this satisfies ur question 🥺 Im honored to know that you enjoy it still after all this time!!

If you u have anymore questions or requests for art for this AU please send it my way (*≧▽≦) ❤️

#cinderella au #epithet erased #epithet erased au #its back babey #nyanswers #THANK U LITERALLY SO MUCH FOR SENDING IN AN ASK

[innocentimouto]

Personal stuff

People make Zuko into poor innocent angsty soft always good was taught better by his mother everyone should love him how dare anyone not baby boi

And I say let them.

Hear me out.

I like to look at a blog as a semi-public journal, made for oneself and other likeminded people. And once you do that, it’s not exactly reasonable to try to go into their journal and scribble on pages about why they’re stupid or ruining the fandom.

And even when I find it annoying that they woobify Zuko, because my whole point of liking him was that he was abused and acted out in anger and that’s a rare depiction of abuse in children’s media because it’s messy and not easy to deal with in real life like he was cruel to Iroh and felt entitled to things because he was royalty he stole from Song and we never see him feel guilt over that and he was angry let him be unreasonably angry exactly what are you saying about people with anger issues

Even if I dislike when people take all that away and use the defense that ‘you think being soft isn’t masculine’ when that isn’t the point, even then, if you look at their posts just talking about Zuko (and not demonizing other characters, which some don’t), they’re so happy.

Is it weird to feel happy for them? Like I got into the fandom late. I always saw numerous Zuko fics but each time I lost interest because he wasn’t Zuko. He never did anything messy that made me interested in his character in the first place. So I just got out of the fandom, but so many people are fed up with others always talking about him and making uwu fics.

But it’s genuinely amazing that so many people, from across the world, can get together and gush about something they love. If it’s in their own space, then don’t attack them.

It may be irritating to me that they’re changing a character. At the end of the day though, what exactly are we supposed to do? Attacking them accomplishes nothing, if you somehow forget they’re actual people and we should never do that in the first place. There’s much more merit to people making their own posts against those misconceptions because more people will see it and not worry too much about getting caught in drama.

(And you won’t ruin other people’s fun, which I think we should consider more even with people we disagree with.)

Also, on a more extreme side that’s not really specific to anyone, it may help to remember that if someone goes as far as to call a 12 year old a rapist or sympathize with Zuko or Azula but call Jet an irredeemable monster, or some other extreme take, then it is very unlikely anything we say to them will change their mind. Better not waste energy and your happiness on those people and focus on producing content to counter that.

Since it’s entirely fictional, I think people should be able to change a character if they want to. (Personally I just wish they acknowledged that and didn’t attack others for sticking to canon. Or reducing characters because they erase the flaws but keep the reactions of the rest of the cast, which can only result in demonizing them.)

I understand the urge to see your favorite character in everything, to never shut up about them, to consider writing them in numerous different situations. And I find it very freeing to watch people get happy talking about Azula, Zuko, etc because it’s their blog, their hobby, their words.

This is coming across as strangely at peace with it all when in reality I get so fed up with all the Tim Drake fics that put down Dick or Damian or any other character. Or just how he straight up steals their character traits, their backstories, etc, in the comics.

My solution to that isn’t ideal as I’ve essentially stopped reading most fics in the DC fandom.

But I still hate the idea of commenting on those fics to point out why I hate them, or going to Tim Drake blogs to tell them how much I hate his character. Because why?? Those are people. I may disagree with them strongly, but ultimately I wouldn’t want them jumping onto my work and putting down my favorite characters.

It’s a work in progress, but I think I’ve managed to get to the point where I feel happy for anyone who gushes about a character, fanon or otherwise, so long as they don’t reduce other characters as a result.

#Atla #anti fanon zuko #Zuko #Should I tag this zuko critical? it's basically canon though #anti Tim Drake #DC fandom #sort of unrelated

[ninja-scenarios]

Spa day w/ Illumi ✨🐰

I started writing this a month ago so it still says “15th of Christmas” pls bear with me lol

This is part of a Illumi/Hisoka/reader poly relationship! But there won´t be any Hiso in this, sorry! I have another fic planned tho so pls anticipate it :)))

Now I can´t stop imagining Illumi with a bunny ears headband... uwu

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„What is this?“

- „A jelly peeling.“

„And this?“

- „A brush used for applying skin masks, so you don´t have to use your hands.”

You beamed with anticipation. This year, you had decided that it was time to show the boys how to make a couple-advent-calendar. A collection of 24 enjoyable things you could do together. And here it was. The 15th, “spa day”.

Hisoka was out, so you´d grabbed Illumi and dragged him into your study in what had to be the most comfortable kidnapping in history. He actually behaved very well, and you had the slight suspicion that he already enjoyed this.

“First is a headband.”

After you´d both taken a steaming hot bath together and rose from it super relaxed, you slipped a bunny-ear headband onto your boyfriend. Illumi turned to view himself in the make-up mirror. The feeling of something restricting yet comfortable was new to the assassin. The headband wasn´t meant to hurt him or for training, just to hold his hair out of his face. It felt... good. And the light pink went beautifully with his crème bathrobe.

“Look! You look like a bunny now!”

“Is that good?”

“It means you´re very cute and I like it.”

“Ah.”

“My cute little bun bun~”

While Illumi was admiring himself in the mirror, you had to resist the urge to braid his luscious hair, simply gathering it in a ponytail and then taking a seat in front of him.

Illumi´s mind wandered to the rest of the bathroom. You really had taken the time to tidy and clean everything and even decorate. Everything smelled so good! The light-scented candles held a soothing glow and they smelled sweet, as if Illumi just had to stick out his tongue and receive candy. You had placed them on every available surface, creating a big palette of colours that put his mind at ease. The products sitting neat next to them had big beautiful names and colourful packaging. Together with the tasteful instrumental music they made Illumi feel something he didn´t before. A thrill of anticipation.

“We´re starting off with a cleanser.”

Illumi´s watchful unblinking eyes followed every step of the routine. He sat there a little stiffly in a tailor-fashion, yet it reminded you fondly of a watchful cat. Or bunny, in this case. The outfit was so cute on him! It was a pity he wouldn´t let you take a picture.

You started to apply the soap-like foam onto his face with gentle care. Your nails were cut short just for this occasion and the way you worked the product into his skin was light and even. Your touch made him want to flinch, with how light and gentle it was, yet Illumi willed himself to hold still.

When would it start to sting? Illumi anticipated the pain, yet he trusted you. Whatever would happen, whatever would come, he wouldn´t flinch away. Even if you hurt him, he would be able to take it.

“Is this okay?”

“It is.”

You watched Illumi for signs of discomfort, a little concerned since he still wasn´t able to relax. It looked like he was preparing for the worst, even though you had mobilized everything to arrange a relaxing spa day... Ye the longer you brushed over his face, the heavier his eyelids became.

“Do you like it?”

“...”

His eyes closed and he started to relax. His shoulders became heavy, his hands slipped from his thighs into his lap where they loosely intertwined.

“Lumi?”

“Mh.”

Illumi wondered, when was the last time someone had taken care of him that way?

There was a memory from when he was about 3. He had fallen face first into the mud while running. Branches and dirt and pebbles had hurt his skin, yet by this age he had already learned not to cry. Illumi tried to remember. Had he already been numb to pain then?

One of the pebbles had lightly pierced through his cheek, resulting in an ugly wound that started to bruise. His mother had started yelling, fussing over his face and ushering him inside. She´d been angry and Illumi had felt responsible, mentally preparing himself for punishment. But then she had sat him down in her room, in her high chair in front of her vanity and tended to the wound under his eye with maybe the tenderest care he had ever seen in her.

“Illumi? I said do you want to wash your face yourself or do you want me to do it for you?”

You giggled when Illumi´s dark eyes shot back to your face. He had been zoning out for a while, probably lulled in by the soothing patterns on his face. For a second he just stared at you.

At you or at his mother, who had been wearing her hair down, then. Her beautiful locks of hair were black as night, just as his. His mother´s fussing had made him feel important, cared for.

“You do it.”

There was no force between his words. They came out slowly, eyes trained on your face as you smiled. Wordlessly you took a fluffy white washcloth and dipped it into a bowl with warm water.

“Close your eyes.”

You gently took a hold of his chin, just so much so that it would stay in place, as you began cleaning off the product. Illumi´s skin felt different now. Smoother, but dry.

“Next up is exfoliating!”

With far more fun that you´d imagined, you started rubbing the gel peeling into his skin. You had seen an instruction in a youtube tutorial earlier that day. When your thumbs brushed over his cheekbones in a circular pattern, Illumi let his eyes slip shut. You kept working gently on his face, eradicating non-existent little bumps and imperfections on his perfect glass skin. It was probably owed to his perfect diet and frequent intake of water... sometimes you were so jealous of that wonderful bastard.

Meanwhile Illumi thought about the pattern you used for the massage. Half a circle...

´Illumi. Keep up!´

His father had drawn the same pattern on the mat with his bare foot when he drew it back. Illumi hadn´t known then, that he´d done it to gain force and use it to punch his son square in the jaw.

`If you can´t evade my fist, how will you defend yourself against an enemy who attacks from the front? Illumi, they won´t have mercy like me. That is your first lesson.´

It had been the first time his father had openly punched him. Illumi had trembled in pain, holding his cheek with his tiny hand while trying to swallow his sobs.

`I trusted you, papa. I never thought... I never thought you would hurt me.´

Illumi´s eyes shot back open. His hands were gripping both your wrists, thumbs pressing into your palms and tilting them back.

A little gasp escaped Illumi´s mouth. His ears still rang with the blow of his father´s fist. Only after the noise had subsided did he notice.

In the same second he released you immediately. His heart beat wildly in his chest, spurring him on to fight, even though there was no actual danger. Even though you had never done anything to hurt him.

Your hands, they were so gentle, so soothing. They had brought him nothing but joy. There was no doubt in his mind that you were harmless.

“I should leave.”

He didn´t want to see your face, he couldn´t. After all, he had brought you damage. A flaw in a perfect system. Even though Illumi couldn´t decide if the flaw was his self-control or letting you close in the first place.

You went after him, grabbing onto his sleeve in the doorway.

“Illumi, listen to me.”

He didn´t move a muscle. He should go back home. His father would fix him. That was if he could forget you.

“I know it wasn´t the best idea to sit in front of you and repeatedly touch your face while you´re feeling vulnerable. I know you. I know have those patterns.”

Why did you have to say these words? They cut right into his soul with how true you were. It was unbearable yet Illumi couldn´t bring himself to walk away. Why couldn´t he just leave?

“Illumi...I want to walk through them together with you and for us to create new ones. New patterns, new memories, new routines.”

Why had he let a civilian come into his life? The needle he´d grabbed on instinct in his other hand when he´d grabbed you had almost come in contact with your skin. But you hadn´t even noticed.

“Don´t be a fool. I hurt you. It´s like father said. He let me live my own life, knowing I´d make a mistake and realize that there is only one way.”

Slowly, you walked around until you faced him.

“Illumi. Look at me.”

Reluctantly, the black-haired man raised his gaze. His eyes looked wet with frustration.

“You aren´t flawed. You´ve been put in a system where being perfect is unachievable. But look.”

You outstretched your hands, palms up. Upon further inspection, there were no bruises. No marks. Not even a red tint from where he had grabbed your wrists.

“You never hurt me, Illumi. Your grip was so gentle, somehow you must´ve known it was me. You see? There is no flaw.”

You beamed up at him.

“For me, you´re perfect. I love you, Illumi. I wouldn´t want you any other way.”

There was no flaw... he hadn't actually hurt you. Illumi's initial frustration started dripping down his cheeks.

For a long time, he wouldn´t let go.

With the utmost care he wrapped you in a hug, burrowing his face against your hair.

"Thank you. For letting me stay."

#Illumi #Illumi x reader #Illumi Zoldyck x reader #hxh #Illumi scenario #Illumi headcanon #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hxh scenarios