#this is me really going out of my comfort zone bc usually i dont fuck with line weight

[ponypaltrail]

sollux captor and the hotdog flavored water

#would he listen to limp bizkit? i labored over this question while drawing this #my answer is probably not. but the pose compelled me #alternative title: when limp is life. getting my motherfucking limp on. etc. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK. #my art #sollux captor #homestuck #hs fanart #this is me really going out of my comfort zone bc usually i dont fuck with line weight

[inyoursheets]

I love your writing so much. What's your favorite thing you've ever written (line, chapter, work, tumblr post, anything)??

help this is so sweet 😭😭😭 not to be dramatic but this turned on the light in my weary little heart

also let's pretend i didnt leave this sit in my inbox for like 4 months, yes?? (im so sorry)

ummmmm um um oh god what a question

i mean it's a beautifully kind question but it's one that forces me to confront what ive written, which, unhinged!!!! i havent thought about my fics in a while (as you can probably tell from my lack of updates 🥴)

it's hard to pick a favorite line or anything of the sort, bc i actually like a lot of lines. not in a damn-that-line-is-the-world's-most-gorgeous-prose kinda way, or in a i-bet-readers-are-gonna-love-this kinda way, but in a hey-i-like-what-i-did-there kinda way, bc what i did ~there~ usually was take something from the (my) real world, whether a sensation, an idea, a phrase, a song lyric, a color, and bend it into fuel for a story. that's part of the magic of writing for me. actually that's nearly all of the magic for me (the other portion being that somehow sometimes the feelings i intend to evoke are, indeed, evoked in some readers, as per their comments)

when i glance through any random fic of mine, especially the more uhhh dramatic ones, i can see so many traces of... me? my life? my world? and it reminds me of how much writing gives me. it's just a place where i express myself i guess?? even as im telling a story about completely different people in a different setting from my own (sadly ive never had a threesome with my ex and his sorta ex, sorta nemesis, sorta lover!!). goddamn it, i knew this questions would make me desperate to write again. how dare you remind me of the joys of writing!!!! fuck you!!! (ilysm)

as far as whole fics go (and pls god dont make me pick a chapter, i might die), im still very partial to warm water, bc that's my baby, bc it's one of my first fics (it basically reignited my love for writing??) and bc i really didnt expect it to resonate so much w folks. the response was wild, never in a million years did i see that coming. also bc it helped me process some things that i didnt realize needed processing, and bc it got me through the start of the pandemic and through writing an rma thesis. and bc it's pretty sizeable for my standards. but it's also like.... early!jo work. i like to think ive grown a little bit more into my own writer's skin since?? but it was huge in growing said skin. so it's my baby

i also like unlike, bc it pairs my very Dramatic Writing StyleTM with smut, which, as it turns out, is my comfort zone somehow (??) and i like as trouble ought to do bc it broke my post-warm water angst drought and i experimented in that one. it's an acquired taste, but hey, aren't we all?

alright let me stop there, before i fall in love with the act of writing again,

#here's what happened -- i thought id wait to reply until i had like. good news to share about writing #turns out my writer's.....b..bl...bl*ck was like. haha youre cute for thinking id disappear #anyways! let's try it in the reverse order! i'll look at the things ive written and maybe in turn the writing zest will return to me?? #thank you so much beloved. like. seriously #i fear i have now been reminded of how much i like to write fic #i am terrified of the consequences of this reminder!!!!!!!!! #no but seriously tysm dear im so very honored that youd even wanna know and it really really means a lot #and i know i dont have to apologize for this but i am sorry about the lack of writing that ive done / shared the past year #ask #anonymous #my fic #writing

[jesisletmelive]

I hate this dog so much 

I never even liked dogs that much, yes theres some cute breed but this bitch is annoying. Its not even my dog but moms and i hate it. Like why you getting a dog if you know your kids most likely going to spend the most time with this thing????

My whole life my parents told me that having a pet is really hard thing to do: you need to get this thing food, bc if you dont it can die bc this things cant eat what human eat; you need to change your home bc this thing can fly under akitchen counter and not get out; you need to wake up early and yes i know im early bird but if one more time i need to wake up bc this dog thought it wanted to shit infront of mirror in this room i will yeet this dog out of window; you need to get out of your comfort zone to take care of ANOTHER ALIVE THING, man im struggling to take care of myself where i have place for a dog??

Also they took that type of dog that cant be in too cold place or its going to suffer, and i am myself like some cold rooms bc i sleep in my pajamas. 

And then theres this dog, its hiccaps when its cold. You know if id hiccaped when im hot i would deffinately sit in a fridge bc its much easier than open or close a window.

My whole life my parents told me that we wouldnt have a dog in our life bc we all dont spend that much time home and we do its usually to eat, sleep or to change clothes. Why we get a dog???

Yes this thing is cute sometimes, but only if its sleeps and i dont need to take care of this thing.

Do i feel jealous of a dog? NO, why would i? I like to be alone in dark room wheres cold - while this dog needs attention every second of its existance, yes also likes dark room, but we know that if we dont see this things its going to try kill itself and i dont want to dissapoint my parents even more bc if something going to happen to dog is going to me who going to take a blame. And again, it hiccaps when its cold, i dont know what people thought when producing this dog but its suffers. And its not evena pug.

Yes, i feel guilty when i cant be a good dog owner, BUT ITS NOT EVEN MY DOG. Im not supposed to be its owner at all, its like if my roomate got a dog and expected me to take care of it. Yes mom and dad i take care of it bc it “OUR” dog but can i not do it?

This dog here from 14 february and i want to get rid of it from day one.

But its not my dog and i dont choose it to be here, and i cant get rid of it. I just here hate it before i get out of here.

Is that how people feel when they pressured to have kids? Bc fuck that

#my life updates

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

hi ella!! u dont have to answer this if u dont want to but lately ive been thinking about my gender and stuff and i just wanted to hear from someone who might have gone thru the same thing

sorry if this was messy im not very good at this

hey babe!! welcome on this journey! you left it all very open, i'm assuming bc you don't know where to start, which is very relatable (especially in the beginning) so i'll just tell you where it started for me and how i went from there?

somewhere at the end of 2020 something was wrong and i didn't know what. i felt uncomfortable in my body - even more than usual - and my clothes, everything. the heightened sense of discomfort was caused by being in lockdown and having a lot of time on my own, and especially not enough distractions yk. conversations with people about pronouns and gender made me upset, like i was defending myself. i had no idea where it was all coming from, tbh, until i pressed myself to fill in my own pronouns in the bios of my socials. and i couldn't. bc she/her felt wrong, like i was lying, while she/they or anything they felt right but really scary bc it was so new. and i have imposter syndrome so at first i was like 'am i even allowed?' and the answer is ofc yes. the pronoun that you think suits you is yours to claim.

this was also the time when i started listening to fine line (the song) like it was my only comfort, even though i had no idea why yet. tumblr mps brought me onto the journey of seeing harry's work and entire being through a gender lens, and things started clicking into place. it made way more sense to me to see h like that, and that helped me look at myself that way too. work backwards and view my childhood and all the blatant signs that i have always been like this, but just got lost here and there. it granted this insane new kindness to my old selves bc i was extending the same to harry. his fight to be creatively free and outrageously queer, extravagant, camp inspired me to finally break down those barriers in my mind of i can't wear that or that makes me look too much like that. i felt like an enormous weight fell off my shoulders, bc staying in that non-binary zone, and allowing myself to stay there, made me realise that everyone can do whatever they fucking want. i can identify as nb and go out looking like a character from clueless. the next day i might feel like looking like their skater bf and then i'll fucking do that! after years and years of being upset that i didn't look either feminine or masculine enough and trying to force myself to be one or the other, i finally started listening to my instincts and followed that fluidity.

if you're now struggling with allowing your transness, or just not yet comfortable with the idea, let the ambiguity wash over you and be very very very patient with yourself. that was the first step in allowing me to grow, so forgive your mistakes and be kind to yourself when you don't know the answer.

i hope this helps a little in your journey, and you're always welcome to come talk about it more! i love talking about it, as you can tell, bc it's very gender-affirming. (so you coming to talk about it for yourself is an amazing step!! proud of you!!)

#kind anon #mermaid #ab me

[littlespoonevan]

uh i admire you for being able to go on dates. that sound so stupid but. i am honestly too anxious for it? i have nightmares when i think about going on a date and it being awkward, like, awkward silence or whatever. or that the other person might want something and they get pushy idk. or even if the first few dates might be good what then? lmao i have such intimacy issues i cant even imagine having it become MORE yk. does that make sense. idk. i wish i could try out going on dates, just, try it. and maybe someone is the person where it works. any tips? also tinder kinda sucks for me idk. i dont know what else to try? but usually i get matches but honestly no one talks, or replies. or i never know what to say to start a conversation, and if i do, i dont get any replies.

anon, literally everything you're describing is me. like i was reading your message and just nodding along because yes same????? honestly i've only ever worked up the courage to go on a date with someone from tinder 3 times in the past two years (and the first one stood me up lol). i definitely feel afraid of the person pushing too quickly bc yeah i'm right there with you with intimacy issues the size of mt everest.

i've been thinking about it a lot lately and i pretty much feel the same in that the idea of it becoming more is so abstract to me i can't imagine it in relation to myself which is uh....probably something i should try to deal with lol.

i'm not a big tinder fan either though, i think bc of the type of person i am it would be much better for me to know someone first or be friends with them before getting into a relationship but that's not exactly a situation you can plan :/ and if i'm being really honest any time i've opened tinder this year it just made me angry and i almost immediately deleted it again asdjkh

as far as tips are concerned, i think one thing that helps me deal with the stress sometimes is telling myself i can stop if i want. like if i'm having a conversation with someone but i don't really feel like replying anymore then i don't have to???? or if i go on a date and it's awkward or whatever then it's just two hours of my life and it's done and i don't have to do it again. i also very firmly try to take it one step at a time. so like, i've had guys message me before and within a day or two (sometimes within a few hours) they want to meet up and i Cannot do that. i need to talk to someone for at least a two or three weeks before i feel comfortable considering meeting them and i don't budge from that.

and like i mentioned in my original post, i can't do last minute plans. dating is so fucking intimidating to me in and of itself that throwing spontaneous plans at me (when i don't even make plans w my friends without like 24 hours notice) is absolutely not something i can handle. so y'know, i think a lot of it is trying to find the balance between pushing yourself outside your comfort zone just enough to see what happens but also trusting your gut if something feels like too much. honestly i'm still trying to figure it out but i hope you find someone some day that makes you want to try <33

#anon #asks #dating also scares me bc i'm like how do i tell this person all of my deep rooted intimacy issues and still expect them to stay lol

[palmett-hoes]

hello!!!! how do u feel about the pairing of kevin day and allison reynolds, if u dont mind me asking

uuuhhhhhhhhhhh,,,

in all honesty i have very few thoughts on the matter

like i've scrolled past the handful of fics for them and seen maybe one fan art and just kinda went "okay" and moved on

it doesn't really do much for me, though i can definitely respect bi4bi relationships

so i did spend a little extra time thinking on it to answer this ask, and my conclusion is that i don't think it would really be a stable, healthy relationship, which is usually what i talk about when i talk about good ships bc i'm a romantic and a coward who tends to only like ships that i think should get married and grow old together

to comment on their dynamic though, i think they could be good bitchy, judgemental friends and i think allison would be a good person to pull kevin out of his head and force him out of his comfort zone and away from exy. as a romantic relationship though? i think she would steamroll him

look, i love allison, but she's a ball-buster tbh it's part of the reason i love her, she's totally unapologetic

we see it with seth, and later a little bit with neil, too: allison does not tip-toe around your problems, and she's not nice about confronting them either. she throws them right in your fucking face and she doesn't give a shit if you can't handle it. and then in return, she expects the same back. she likes to yell and she isn't afraid of being yelled at

in fact, the thinks that the yelling and the insults is all a part of airing out grievances. she's from a very stuffy, uptight world where no one actually says what they think, where issues never get addressed head-on and where resentment can fester underneath a smile for years or even generations

her attitude is a direct response to the superficial, two-faced world of the super-rich. it's a powerful statement of her own identity and individuality, and to her it's the most direct and most effective way to solve problems

unfortunately, this also means that her relationships with other people are going to be ROCKY

when she's upset, her focus is on feeling and expressing all of her emotions in the moment, not preserving someone else's. she doesn't care about harmony and she doesn't care about the long-term consequences of her words, but she also probably hits a lot of nerves that don't blow over in a day. just because she doesn't internalize insults doesn't mean everyone is like that

allison and seth had an explosive relationship, but they seemed to be on the same page about this, and it's probably because they were both the types of people that dealt with their emotions like this that their relationship lasted as long as it did. the other upperclassmen got used to allison over time, but it was rough, and it was clear in the summer practices in tfc that she wasn't always on their sides, and was just as open to starting fights with them as her boyfriend

and that brings us to kevin

kevin seems very tough on the outside. he's rude and condescending and judgemental and picky, just like allison. but unlike allison this attitude doesn't really go both ways. kevin is actually somewhat delicate

kevin is from an environment of open, constant criticism. of high achievers aiming for perfection. but that criticism wasn't a two-way street. he couldn't tear down riko or the master the way they tore him down, he could only transfer that censure by proxy onto the lower ranking ravens or take it to heart and internalize it

remember "As brutal as Kevin could be toward the rest of the team, he was hardest on himself"?

kevin has an inferiority complex enforced by years of abuse, and he's been taught to shut up and bend the knee to people with more power than him

i think that kevin and allison could go toe-to-toe, tit-for-tat for a while, but i think that there are lines kevin has that allison would be willing to cross that would bring him to his knees, and she wouldn't even realize. but once she did her relationship with kevin would never fully be the same

it's not the same as with riko, allison doesn't actually have power over him, but ince the association is there even subconsciously it would color the way he sees her. he would become afraid of her

she probably wouldn't even know what she'd done, let alone know how to fix it

but yea, that's my take on kevin/allison

i really think that kevin needs a partner who is supportive and kind. (in the same way, allison needs a partner who is confident and opinionated)

i think a good way to determine what someone needs out of a partner is what they look for when they're under stress.

when kevin is scared he seeks goes to abby. he seeks out comfort and compassion. he seeks out kindness.

people like allison or neil or andrew confront the issue head on. they prepare for the worst so they want the bitter, jagged truth

kevin wants to be told it's going to be okay

if there are any foxes that i think kevin would be compatible with, it's either matt or renee or maybe even nicky tbh. i also like,, just don't care for any of those options as ships so pls don't ask me for more on this i'm not about to become a mevin content machine

i'm also actually pretty shocked that kevin/jeremy isn't a bigger ship, given that it was all but stated out loud that kevin has a crush on him, and tbh it's kinda sad that kevin's crush gets written off as a joke because of the popularity of jerejean which ive spoken about my feelings on before. like,, jeremy is kind and genuine and fiercely committed to exy, and in just the one scene he appears in it's very clear that he's super familiar with kevin, knows that he's a grumpy asshole, and is extremely fond of him anyway

like,,, what's not clicking?

#txt #cw abuse mention #kevin day #allison reynolds #character analysis #meta #my posts #im talkin #ask #anon #anonymous

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 2/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: aaaa i’m so glad everyone liked the first chapter! i think this story will end up staying focused on gigi and crystal for the most part, but there is some (one sided) jankie in this chapter if you’re into that! also: just in case no one got the reference, the nickname crystal gives gigi, ‘georgia rose’,comes from the 1d lyrics “Said her name was georgia rose, and her daddy was a dentist” from their song ‘best song ever’!

gigi: are u okay :( ily crystal

crystal: yeah i just got picked on by this cheerleader that doesnt like me

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Crystal didn’t think it was too bad, considering she really only ever saw Dahlia in history class, but she still made it her mission to make that 45 minutes rough for Crystal whenever possible. This time it was pushing all of Crystal’s belongings off of her desk while she was leaving.

gigi: fuck. im sorry. 

crystal: it’s fine dskjdshjgkjf i wish all cheerleaders could take notes from you and jan

gigi: yaaas me and jan invented being nice

gigi: but i was wondering if maybe you could teach me about one direction later tonight?

Crystal had tried to convince the group earlier in the week that One Direction was the best boy band ever, and had only managed to get Jan to agree. She was glad that Gigi had finally come to her senses.

crystal: finally changing your mind? amazayn!

gigi: i regret asking now. take that pun back to 2011!!!!

The rest of the day went as normal. The chat was pretty active, but eventually died down at the end of the school day. Everyone seemed to have plans; Jan was studying, Jaida was going out to hang with friends, Nicky was sleeping, and Heidi was starting a new challenge on the Sims. It appeared to be just her and Gigi, alone in the group chat. 

Crystal decided to message Gigi privately, not wanting the rest of the girls to see her go into full stan mode. If someone asked Crystal about her interests, she could go hours before thinking of stopping herself.

crystal: ok miss gigi are you ready for your 1d crash course?

Crystal told Gigi everything she wanted to know and even more. A history of how they got together, way too much information on each of the five boys, telling her the best songs on each album, and making sure that Gigi knew ‘Midnight Memories’ was their best album. 

gigi: but ur @ is dedicated to made in the am?? fraud!

crystal: HELPFDFHBJ

crystal: mmcrystal sounds weird… like no thanks 

gigi: that was very interesting.. i’ll def listen to midnight memories in the morning <3

crystal: YAY! gigi 1d stan finally

gigi: no promises! :)

Crystal didn’t respond to that, not really knowing what to talk about now. Having a group of friends helped her be less awkward, but it definitely didn’t fix that problem completely. 

gigi: do u wanna play 21 questions or something?? to get to know eachother better???

Of course, Crystal jumped at the chance to get to know the other girl better. It started very innocently, asking about favorite colors and foods. Gigi quickly changed that.

gigi: uhh… have u ever kissed a girl?

crystal: sadly no.. my state is full of straight people

gigi: same.. ur turn

crystal: this feels awkward to ask but uhhh….

As soon as she hits send, she instantly regrets it. She backtracks what she had originally typed, desperately trying to come up with another question. Crystal was not able to think of anything else.

gigi: ????

“I guess I’ll have to do it,” Crystal says, talking to absolutely no one. She types it out again, looking away from her phone as she blindly tried to hit the send button, like it would help her situation be any less flustering for her.

crystal: how long have you and nicky been dating?

Would Gigi find it weird that she asked? Gigi was the one who brought up kissing girls, not Crystal, so it would be fine. Right?

gigi: CRYSTAL WHATBDGNHSDMFD

gigi: nicky and i are not dating omg im single

gigi: she’s like my sister. plus i would never do long distance

Crystal was so embarrassed. She was relieved this conversation was taking place through a screen, so Gigi wouldn’t see her blushing face. 

She was pleased that she was wrong about the two girls, but Gigi’s answer was upsetting to her.

They asked a few more personal questions before Gigi started asking Crystal would you rather questions instead. Crystal’s favorite out of them was if she would rather get a mullet or dress like a clown every day for the rest of her high school career. The answer was both, obviously. 

They spent the rest of the night sending each other stupid questions, giggling to themselves. The later it got, the more Gigi would flirt with her. At least Crystal thought it was flirting.

gigi: it’s really late and i have a test tomorrow so im gonna go to sleep. goodnight, babe

Gigi always would say ‘goodnight, bitch’, and this made Crystal even more confused. The ongoing joke that lesbians had the hardest time telling if a girl is into them or not was one of Crystal’s favorites, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly what was happening to her. There was obviously a connection between them, but it was unclear to Crystal if it was just platonic. 

It didn’t hit her until later that night, while she was trying to fall asleep, but Crystal wasn’t entirely sure where Gigi lived. She knew they were in the same time zone, but wasn’t sure what state she was in. It was totally possible that Gigi lived in Missouri, but Crystal highly doubted it. Though Gigi obviously trusted Crystal enough to want to play 21 questions with her, she was still very private, and Crystal wasn’t too sure if Gigi would tell her what state she was in. 

Crystal fell asleep thinking about her highly unrealistic perfect world, where Gigi lived in Missouri and where Crystal wasn’t just another Nicky. 

-

Crystal got onto Twitter right after waking up the next morning, ready to ask Gigi if she happened to live in Missouri, but quickly got distracted with a very interesting conversation going on in the group chat.

jan!: now i may not be gay but i’m in love with a woman… 2 words jackie

jaida: i- that’s only one word

jan!: fuck

heidi: the way i can’t tell if you’re joking or not

jan!: the way i don’t think i am joking

gigi: YAAS about time u admitted that u like her

crystal: hold on i thought jan was straight?? who’s jackie???

nicky: do you really think a straight person would hang out with us?

crystal: good point 

jan!: I AM STRAIGHT! i think? i don’t know i’m so confused. 

heidi: jackie is jan’s local @ crystal

gigi: jan be like: im straight.

gigi: but also jan is like: wow jackie is so pretty and she’s so funny and smart i’m going to fail geometry so she can tutor me but no homo!

heidi: the delusion janice has…

jaida: not to be serious but if you think you like jackie, you probably aren’t straight baby. everyone else hush and let her talk

nicky: ^^ yeah jan what happened

jan!: first of all i did not fail geometry i just said we should study together so we did!!! and have been for months! but last night i couldn’t focus at all bc she’s so pretty all i wanted to do was k*ss her out of nowhere

In a way, Crystal could definitely relate. Gigi wasn’t her local, she still didn’t know what the girl looked like, but she still kind of wanted to kiss her. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Gigi sometimes, not like she would ever admit it. 

All of the girls had sent many comforting messages addressed to Jan, saying that it was okay, and she has all the time she needs to figure out her feelings. Afterwards, everyone had gone back to being playful. Gigi also tried to convince her to make a move on Jackie, which Jan refused.

gigi: if u talk to her u guys can get married <3

crystal: gigi you’re so stupid i love it

jan!: omg did someone say stupid love??? stream! 

gigi: crystal back me up :(

crystal: i might’ve found out who jackie is only 10 minutes ago but i will cry if jan doesn’t talk to her right now

jan!: better start crying bc i dont think i can even look at her now

jaida: that’s not saying much at all. you cried the other day bc gigi sent a pic of her dog

crystal: I AM A NANCY STAN FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND!!

Crystal knew she looked like an idiot, walking to her locker with her eyes glued to her phone and a dopey smile on her face but she couldn’t care less.

-

The day actually went well for Crystal. The highlight of her day was finding out that the story she wrote for her creative writing class had gotten the highest grade out of everyone in the class, earning her a piece of candy. 

crystal: just got candy and a 99% on my story for class… i truly have the mind of a mastermind

jaida: beauty and intelligence in one combined!

Navigating through the halls was much more difficult when your eyes are glued to your phone, but replying to a meme Jaida sent seemed much more appealing to Crystal than getting to her seventh period without worrying about bumping into someone.  And bumping into someone, she did.

“What the actual fuck, weirdo?” Dahlia yelped, looking extremely offended, “Get off of your sad, cracked phone and watch where your dumb ass is going.”

Crystal just stared at her, frozen in fear. Dahlia taunted her daily, but this was very different from how she usually acts towards her. It was quite terrifying. 

“I swear to God, if you ever look at me, let alone fucking touch me again-” She continued, but before she could finish her statement, she was interrupted by her friend, Georgina running over and pulling her away. 

Crystal didn’t think Georgina shared Dahlia's hatred for her, and Crystal didn’t hate Georgina either. Georgina actually seemed very sweet besides the fact that she had never bothered to step in on the rare occasion Dahlia happened to target Crystal outside of class.

“Can you please leave her alone? We don’t have time for this.” Georgina groaned, looking back at Crystal, flashing her a quick smile, before turning around to escort Dahlia to what Crystal assumed was cheerleading practice.

“But she bumped into me!” Dahlia whined, not used to being interrupted like this.

“Really? Wow, funny. I don’t care.”

Once they were out of sight, Crystal was alone again. She pulled out her phone and went to check if anyone had said anything else in the chat; just Jan freaking out, because Jackie had smiled at her in the hallway.

heidi: everyone say i if you think jan should stop being a baby and ask jackie out

jaida: i

crystal: i

jan!: WTF

jan!: friendship ended with heidi, jaida and crystal. now nicky and gigi are my best friends

jaida: they would say i too if they were online and you know that

jan!: i don’t need friends! they disappoint me!

Crystal decided to not use her phone while she was walking home, not wanting to have a repeat of the Dahlia situation. Her after school routine changed a lot in the past week, making a rule to not check Twitter before completing her homework. Her Twitter addiction was getting worse, but since it was also causing her to be more productive with doing her homework, she saw no issues with it. Once she had finished, she picked up her phone to see that Gigi had messaged her less than a minute ago.

gigi: hey clown :) im done w practice

crystal: WHY AM I A CLOWNDFSHDM

gigi: u just have clown energy. i cant and wont explain 

crystal: honestly yeah i see it but can i at least be your clown wife or something

gigi: yeah <3 hey clown wife! i listened to most of midnight memories and it was really good! my fave song is u and i

If that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? Crystal had never been able to get anyone to listen to anything she recommended, ever. She was filled with glee, double tapping the message to heart it. It meant a lot to her.

crystal: YAYAYAYAYA im so glad but it looks so ugly when you spell it like that 

gigi: my fave song you and i* >:(

crystal: better 

gigi: if i have to stop spelling it as u to make you not divorce me i will

Crystal knew deep down it was just a joke, but it made her heart race. The feeling she got every time Gigi would flirt with her was very unfamiliar, but very nice. It didn’t help that Crystal thought ‘You and I’ was one of the most romantic songs One Direction had, she couldn’t help but make the fact Gigi liked it out of all of the other songs into something it was not.

This reminded her of her late night thoughts. She had completely forgotten to ask Gigi where she lived, but the idea didn’t seem the greatest now that she was fully awake. She was still curious though, so against her better judgement she asked, without a segway or anything.

crystal: i forgot to ask but what state do you live in? asking for science

gigi: oh i live in missouri

crystal: omg me too

gigi: i don’t wanna reveal where but this is amazing.. maybe we won’t have to break the distance at all <3

Pleased that she somehow got an answer, Crystal changed the conversation into a discussion of ‘Midnight Memories’, and if Gigi agreed with the opinions Crystal had shared the night before. She did, for the most part and before they knew it, it was time for Gigi to go sleep. Had they really talked all evening? 

gigi: i have to get up early so i need to go to sleep but im really glad jan added u to the gc

crystal: and im happy you asked me about one direction!

gigi: me too. ur cute when ur passionate. i hope we can continue to grow closer

crystal: i’d like that.

gigi: goodnight, my clown :)

crystal: goodnight, georgia rose

gigi: U DID NOT

gigi: my full name isnt even georgia and dad isnt even a dentist but i’ll allow it bc i know u think u invented comedy

gigi: ok gn now <33 luv u

crystal: gn!!! sleep well

Crystal wanted them to stay like this forever.

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jan sport #jaida essence hall #heidi n closet #nicky doll #dahlia sin #crygi #lesbian au #high school au #social media au #girl i met on the internet #strawberry #submission #s12

[elfyourmother]

5, 34 and 39 from the fanfic writer ask ♥

[list here]

5. Do you listen to music when writing?

Sometimes, it really depends on what I’m writing and how my squirrel brain is acting at a given time. I generally need some kind of background noise because weirdly enough it helps me focus more often than not. In the Before times when I was commuting to work on the subway every day a LOT of my writing got done in that 30 minutes or so on the train in the morning so music (and my noise cancelling Bose cans) was mandatory. But even at home, music was and is pretty important.

A lot of how I approach writing is admittedly woo-tastic because my witch training was such a fundamental part of my teen years and fandom/developing my writing habits ran parallel to that and creativity kind of went hand in hand with it. But as a tl;dr there’s a concept in old school British traditional Craft called ritual consciousness, all of the physical trappings of ritual like tools and regalia really just exist to shift the witch’s mind into Work mode, like flipping a switch from mundane to sacred space. And tbh, when I'm writing and really get into that zone where everything is just flowing it doesn’t feel all that dissimilar from my ritual work, aside from the lack of physical energy being raised. Music is a powerful tool in the arsenal, in both respects, to get into the right mindset. Lyrics or instrumentals really vary depending on squirrel brain. Sometimes words are too distracting, sometimes they help.

I’ve taken to using the white noise app on my phone for appropriate background sounds and I find that helps a lot if I can’t deal with music for whatever reason (if my focus is really off kilter).

34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it?

Constantly. I feel like if I haven’t at least one time in a fic then I haven’t done my job as a writer and I need to go back and change things or scrap it and start over because my heart’s not in it. One of the fun things about ADHD is our uh, interesting emotional regulation, as in we tend to be extremely sensitive people that feel All the Things really intensely. I have cried because food tasted too good, and a baby was too cute. I ugly cried on Princess Tiana at Disney World at the age of 36 (ask Dandy, she was there), and I cry every single time I see a fireworks show there even though I’ve seen them all like 9000 times. 

But if I had to pick out just one scene, even with this context, it’s hands down the climax of The Prodigal’s Lament, which was a Warcraft fic I wrote years ago about the night during the Third War when Kael returned home to Quel’Thalas, after the Scourge sacked it, and the exact moment he named the survivors sin’dorei. The whole fic, even though it was short, was really just me working out my 9/11 trauma again with my comfort character, because at the time I wrote it, it was the 10th anniversary of the attacks so it was an especially hard day for me (being a major milestone year it was even more inescapable than usual). But in particular the climax of the story, where Kael leads the survivors in singing the Lament of the Highborne and people start reciting the names of their fallen loved ones really fucked me up because of my history (I dont want to get into it but I lost someone I knew bc of 9/11). I had to stop at one point because I was crying too hard to focus. But it was good and ultimately very cathartic to write and to this day it means a lot to me. I had someone comment once (maybe on the Pit?) that it reminded them of a tragedy in their country and the grief they also felt and it moved them and helped them cope, which probably the single comment that has stayed with me most in all the years I’ve been writing and posting fanfic.

39. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Dialogue. I feel like I’m generally pretty good at nailing character voices, and I’m good with banter--when you grow up on the likes of the Eddingses and Jennifer Saunders it’s hard not to be good with banter.

#askbox memes #writer memes #fanfic memes #thanks for asking <3 #elveny #ask bisho #long post

[paradise-creator]

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music

Sorry if I was too long, then just ignore me, hehe~

↬ ──:.⃗➹ +.*༉‧ᵕ̈°`*↷. ೃ₊✎⸙͎˚- ̗̀✧: ──↫

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┊         ┊ ⋆｡  ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚  ✩

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┊         ┊       ☪︎⋆                                      ⋆✩

┊ ⊹     ┊                     ⋆｡˚. ੈ

✯ ⋆      ┊ .  ˚                                   ⊹

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Dream catcher loading...

ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. •.°

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☁️

Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Such a loser

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Bakugou Katsuki, Dynamight

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- Honestly it took me a LONG time to think who you would match with

- There was Momo, Jiro, Denki, and Iida. I just couldnt pick

- But in the end, I choose my first option, Bakugou

- With Bakugou, one is never bored

- His sarcasm and snarky attitude can prove to be entertaining!

- Though he may not seem like it, Bakugou seem like a type of person that will never do small talk

- He's more of a listener tbh

- At first the relationship may be rough but in the end it all works out

- Bakugo is a complicated character, it's hard to read him and that's what makes it exciting

- He isn't into pda but in private, expect some INTIMATE times

- AGRESSIVE COMFORT

- He finds you so cute and entertaining whenever you tease/Bully other people

- ROAST COMPETITION NO CAP

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memory

Bakugou: Oi, Dumass!

Requester: Yes?

Bakugou: I Fucking love you so stop being a Dumbass!

Requester: I love you too and I'M NOT A DUMBASS

Bakugo: Your MY dumb

------------------------

Random guy: *Flirts with requester*

Requester: *Is trying not to kill the man*

Bakugou: TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DON'T FLIRT WITH MY IDIOT

Kirishima: Ah, here we go again--BAKUBRO DON'T KILL HIM

-------------------------

Bakugo: OI, NERD

Requester: *ignores*

Bakugo: OI DUMBASS DONT IGNORE ME!

Requester: *Continues to ignore*

Bakugo: Fine! I'm sorry for gatting you mad

Requester: That wasn't so hard now is it?

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Such a loser

"Oi, I heard from Shittyhair you've been criticizing yourself to harshly again. What are you such a dumbass?" Bakugou yelled as she stomped his way towards his girlfriend. "And what if I am?" She replied as she looked away from her book. The brown haired girl was just peacefully reading in her dorm. Nothing much was really going on, she was just studying. She has the tendency to be harsh on herself. And with classmates like hers, it often happens. And as a Boyfriend, Bakugou thinks it's his responsibility and his problem that if his love is sad or hurt or insecure, he will make sure they are loved.

"Get off of the fucking floor and go to bed. We're gonna cuddle and you can't say no as an answer," Bakugo growled. The girl sighed and placed her book down, it's not like she wants to deny anyway. So they went to lay on the bed. Bakugo pulled her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around her." You idiot! Stop being harsh on yourself, dammit," He said as he placed his head on top of hers. "You are already perfect. That's why you got to shut taht pretty little mouth of yours and accept that you are," He added.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hello there! Sorry for the wait, I was quite tired but here is the Haven box as requested.

#☁️matchup #anime #fanfic #fiction #bnha matchup #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha bakugou #match ups #match up requests

[losangelesvalorant]

final thoughts on games today:

Tl;dr: london is going to have Issues with a capital I, paris is fine and will be better w hanbin, boston were okay and them losing just solidifies how fucking scary and well-oiled nyxl is rather than boston being terrible. Titans, like usual, have no respect for their opponents and could be even scarier /if/ they wanted to be, valiant pops off sometimes but cant do it consistently, shock looks rusty and dallas needs to pocket decay even harder than they already are to win games.

london: i see a lot of potential in them, but until they gain confidence they’re c tier for me. They seem overcoached and lost when they aren’t unable to go through with their set plays, of which they way too many for each map. When they were able to play their game, they cycled their ults well, but were easily forced out of their comfort zone. Bernar tried his best to carry, but jmac looked lost and wasn’t able to bait nicodgh’s walls at all, that might be a problem w coordination w sanguinar for speedboost tho. babel wasn’t quick enough to get his walls out in time, though they were great when he did. Glister and highly tried their best, sanguinar seems to play very individualistically which gave london chances, but fdgod just outplayed him mostly. Once teams figure out how to play vs them they’re fucked unless the coaches move away from set plays and unless the team builds more confidence. This team is going to suffer with hero pools if they don’t fix something quick. London honestly and truly has a TON of potential, but not the coordination or confidence or coaching to utilize it.

paris: they’re gonna be scary as they get more coordinated! Can’t wait til they can run at full strength w better tanks. They made good adaptations and looked good doing it. Nicodgh’s walls were sick, nosmite looked great, fdgod is a fragger, xzi clicked heads and greyy and hyp did good too. Benbest i didnt watch. I really like what i see with this team, but we haven’t seen them at full strength so i dont feel like i have much to say about them. Definitely a dark horse for me. They should thrive with hero pools. 

nyxl: nyxl looks as dominant as ever. They’re coordinated, smart, aware, turn impossible situations around, and quickly shut down every win condition boston had before they could even execute it. Though whoru’s mei is def the weak link for me (his walls kinda suck. I think theyre just giving him stage experience here tbh. His genji slaps tho), him and sbb/nenne are a scary duo, everything that can be said abt jjonak and anamo has been said already (They are the best. They are the best. They are the best.), and mano and hotba are both doing excellently. I dont feel that this is their optimal meta, but nyxl has showed a lot of willingness to adapt to their opponents and make swaps, which i like. I’m not worried for them in hero pools, though they might stumble a bit. They’re solidly in S tier for me now

boston: This is gonna be controversial (and take this w a grain of salt cuz im plat.) but boston played better than i expected cuz im a pessimist and was expecting them to get completely rolled, and they at least showed some signs of life. They’ve clearly scrimmed a lot of different comps and looked at least vaguely competent in them, which is more than dallas valiant and london can say. They tried to go for a lot of clutches which never rly worked. they tried to adapt, but nyxl outmatched them and kinda drove them away. Axxiom and fusions were coordinated and i liked their dive, their double shield not so much. boston dps were holding their own, swimmer and myunbong were too, there’s not rly a carry on this team. axxiom i think is being slept on tho. They could definitely kite better and coordinate more, and make faster/smarter swaps, but they at least looked pretty synergized. They were clearly outmatched but they def looked better throughout the whole series than london did vs nyxl after the first 2 maps. Boston seems like a B- tier team to me, but they could be better and i do want to see them play more before im certain abt this. I’d call this a quality loss despite the scoreline

vancouver: Titans clearly didn’t prep much for this match and didn’t respect valiant as much as they should have. There’s no weak points on this team, just that all of them went for clutches they shouldn’t have and got punished for it bc they assumed valiant would be weaker than they were. Titans hate being methodical but are great when they are. When they subbed stitch in, they went for more dumb plays it seemed like, so i bet sms is the one keeping them chill. Fissure’s playing bumper style (taking space and dying for it) but quieter, which I like, bc it means they can pocket haksal harder and let twilight go for more plays. Good adaptations, great plays, great synergy, once titans got their feet under them and downloaded valiant it was over. Their dive was soooo clean. Nothing to be said about this roster that hasnt been said already (theyre the best). This is classic titans and im glad to see losing bumper hasnt completely stopped them from doing dumb shit, cuz even if it hurts me to watch its fun. They should be absolutely fine with hero pools, S tier.

valiant: Valiant only have one comp and theyre Very good at it, especially in the mirror, but theyre having trouble adapting to titans. They have very high highs and very low lows, they also try to clutch sometimes and fuck up. When the team pops off theyre sick, when they dont they… dont. Gig is a madlad. I do like that they prepped for the titan’s bap strat on lijiang and shut it down entirely, that was very good coaching, but they weren’t able to adapt to non-mirror matches after that. They might get fucked by hero pools bc they didn’t show anything successfully other than rein/dva variations, but we’ll see. I'm finding them fun to watch and I'm interested to see if they can consistently maintain their peak play. B tier, i think their weaknesses are more exploitable than boston’s but that boston would lose to them. Id compare them to hunters last year but if hunters played meta

shock: I didnt watch this match super close tbh. Shock looks strong as usual, but they stumbled far too much for my liking when they let doha and decay get value but otherwise incredibly dominant. Architect’s ana got sooooo much value as the series went on, beautiful sleeps beautiful nades beautiful nanos etc *chefs kiss.* i dont think shock prepped super hard for them, and they rly couldve adapted better on horizon and won that map, but it was overall dominant. They seemed pretty rusty honestly but theyre still good, but they should be pissed they got fullheld on horizon. I’m not going to draw any conclusions from this game when it comes to shock bc its one game and its their first game back. S tier, they’ll be fine with hero pools.

Dallas: Dallas looked way better than yesterday, when decay and doha were unleashed and it was less about taking space they were monsters. Tank play was better but not great, glad theyre not making note play rein anymore. Decay is a god and doha played around him really well and his walls were sick. When decay couldn’t play mccree and couldnt get support, there was nothing dallas could do. Gamsu… seemed a bit tilted and used ults he shouldnt have. There were also communication issues, it didnt seem like trill called some of his shatters which meant the team couldnt follow up. They weren’t able to adapt that well without set strats, and other teams will use that to their advantage. Once a team figures out how to shut down doha and decay the game is over. C tier, will struggle in hero pools

right now rankings for me go titans, nyxl shock in S tier, glads in A tier, toronto, paris, valiant, boston in B tier, dallas, london in C tier

#notes #again take my opinions w a grain of salt this is such plat chat shit its not even funny. i just like writing things down

[brinytrolls]

heyy!! i really like your work and think you're SUPER MEGA cool, and hope you get REALLY good at animating!! drawing is the first step, so making it move is the next haha. (once i save enough for a tablet i'll practice a lot!!) but i have a question: how do you improve as an artist? do you actively seek out critique or does it come with time and sub-conscious decisions to not do the bad thing anymore? what did you do? love you, keep fredding on!! ----some stupid idiot who wants to be anonymous

thank u anon this is super sweet!!! it means a lot<3 

also ive been an animation student for 5 years now so i know a little bit but probably, less than i should.....i do Not practise enough

as for tips! let me try and compile a short list of things that help me! 

• u hear it all the time but its true-practise practise practise!!! sketchbooks, digital, whatever strikes ur fancy. practising is the MOST important thing u can do 

• understand and research the basics. you dont need to be an expert on anything, god knows im not, but its good to know a bit! this includes but isnt limited to: 

colour theory! why colours go together, what colour schemes look good, etc. heres some basics on it! personally

[i also find symbolism of colour just as important. obviously symbolism varies from person to person and culture! but heres a quick guide on the usual symbolism of colour. if something sounds wrong to you though, mess with it yourself!] 

tthe form of subjects-this means drawing basic shapes, and using them to construct [basically] anything! the idea is its much easier to draw and move around a series of cubes and cylinders, than a whole human body. heres a guide on how form works. 

draw a box is a challenge recommended to me by my lecturer for improving on drawing shapes and forms! i highly recommend it!

value and lighting are important! heres an explanation on value. im not sure much can be done to cheat lighting and value, except for master studies (we’ll get to that shortly!) and observation. 

the most useful tip on value ive learned, is to turn your art black and white, and see if it all has enough contrast without colour. if not, time to work on the values! 

composition, babey. how subjects are arranged in a piece. heres a bunch of stuff on it [im still learning this one...rule of thirds i will Die for tho]

anatomy! this is the hardest shit. i still dont get it. my lecturers recommend andy loomis [heres a pdf of his figure drawing book] idt his way was quite up my alley, but u never know! 

• speaking of anatomy-life drawing is an INCREDIBLY useful reference. so goddamn useful, u dont even know. they help u figure out anatomy! this includes gesture studies, and more detailed things. i recommend googling how a typical life drawing class goes down/tips for it

life drawing classes are very difficult to access atm, so here are a couple of online resources! [all of these will obv contain nude bodies]

croquis cafe-contains free videos that simulate a life drawing class! videos are more useful than images. has a variety of ethnicities and body types, which is wonderful!

line of action- a site with a variety of images on figure drawing, animal drawing, as well as hands & feet, expression/face focus, and environmental things. you can set it to play as a slideshow for as long as u like, or set it up to be similar in timing to a real life drawing class

online stock photo artists such as senshistock, who has compiled a useful little list of similar accounts over here!

•  reference reference reference!! references are so incredibly useful, and anyone who tells you using a reference is cheating is wrong on every conceivable level. reference from photos, from movies, from videos, everything. 

something ive had to do in every level of art education is recreations and master studies. 

this means collecting artists work from professionals-be it historic painters, movie screenshots, concept artists, anything! 

it makes you focus on their compositions, how the lighting works, the colours used, pretty much everything. 

this is useful bc it can 1: get you out of your comfort zone and 2: make you use new techniques you might never have considered 

online tools such as designdoll and justsketchme have poseable models for you to pose as you please and reference from! suuuuper useful, especially for perspective poses.

• experimentation! fuck around. use brushes youve never used before, try a new medium, collect every free sample from the craft store and just Do Shit with it. 

•  absorb every goddamn piece of art u have ever come across, and save what you enjoy. 

and i mean save everything you enjoy. u like a movies lighting? a certain shot? an outfit? a random piece of fanart u came across? save it! look at it, figure out what it is u like 

make a private pinterest board or a folder on ur computer, save everything.

absorb and yank bits from art u enjoy. obviously dont imitate someones entire style, but if u like the way someone draws hands, or noses, or eyes, reference it. recreate it. see what u like, and incorporate it into ur own art

art is a big mess of taking things u like and making it ur own 

•  study professionals! animations, artists, illustrators. they know what they’re doing. 

heres a useful resource with a lot of rare concept art from animated movies! i go here a lot.

buy art books, or acquire pdfs of them, im not a cop, i dont care 

• as for critique, i do look for critique, and pay attention to it, but it’s important to know not to take it personally. and i recommend asking people whos opinions you value! 

i think thats all i can think of right now in terms of General Art....

if u want me to elaborate on anything or show me art, ask for help or just talk art stuff [character design is my fav and my speciality, ive been studying it for a while 👀] please dont be afraid to dm me or just send me another ask! 

best of luck anon, i rly hope this helps! :D

#thats a lot of writing im so sorry #fredspeak #long post #Anonymous #ask #text

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

#txt #mine

[originlist]

@vindictalead but u mean @praediitus сказал(а):

I am here for avicebron and ritsu ramblings, the good food

gonna talk ships // accepting

well since u just say ritsu and avicebron, here’s a collection of completely disconnected ritsuavi thoughts

avice being very much asocial in life and servanthood means he would not much be used to people being around him, and ritsu is the sort of person who has a small personal bubble and is prone to physical shows of affection. ritsu will keep it tamped down for a while but on the other hand ritsu is just completely intentionally like “as soon as i get permission to hug avicebron im gonna give him a hug so good it just rocks his wholeass world. gottem. there will be no recovery.”

ritsu might seem dumb but theyre pretty situationally aware/aware of how other people feel about things, since thats a huge part of their “job” at chaldea lol so its not too hard for them to keep avicebron in his comfort zone, or toeing the comfort zone while they hang out with him. in the lab they are 300% professionalism. in the halls, who knows.

ritsus WHOLE PLAN ALL ALONG was to befriend avicebron. he shows up after lb1 in chaldea and ritsus just [clenches fist] i am bout to befriend the SHIT out of this man. they really look up to people who are pros in fields ritsu has interest in, and golem-making is close to homunculus-making enough for ritsu to be super [sparkly eyes] and never bother hiding it. or hiding their motive to be avice’s friend

avice can Pop The Fuck Off about like highly involved golem theory and religious studies and mysticism and ritsu just [big eyes, does not understand a single damn word out of avicebron’s mouth, remembers all of it anyways and is sure it’s very cool]

my favourite THING my FAVOURITE thing about ships with people like avicebron who hide themselves in a physical aspect and don’t open up emotionally to other people & take a long time to get close is like. once there’s enough trust, them showing the other person the parts of them they usually don’t as a literal manifestation of letting someone else closer emotionally. avicebron eventually taking off his mask and letting ritsu see his face?? ritsu very gently touching his cheek? an impeccable flavour

avicebron farming mvp, avice and ritsu going on solo farming missions together as a training exercise for ritsu to get better at familiar-crafting with quicker-made and sturdier familiars. 3 hours later ritsu lying on the ground like aviceeeeeeee i’m tired.... spare me mr. bron.... as a golem pulls ritsu along by the ankle. avicebron still reluctantly admits that ritsu is in fact quick to improve and creative so MAYBE they have SOME upsides.

i just like the idea of avicebron: i hate humanity, i have both a huge ego and self-hate, i dont want friends ritsu: im bout to be so optimistic and unabashedly friendly that unintentionally my optimism rubs off and avicebron finds himself experiencing 1 (one) positive emotion about having bonds, bc i want my servants to genuinely want to fight for humanity’s future with me :) avicebron: oh no it’s critically effective

i want ritsu to lay with their head pressed against avice’s leg while avice reads, like how cats sleep juuust close enough to you to barely avoid being called not on top of you. ritsu wants to lay on his lap except theyre like “im twice his size he’d snap------”

ritsu is about half a foot taller than avice and about 15 kg heavier. avice with strength E endurance E speed D just like “this is fine” as ritsu hoists him up and sprints off when a fight gets hairy. the turntables, as avice summons a golem to pick ritsu up by the collar and carry them off right after as avice is just >:) see how you like it

jokes on him ritsu doesnt mind and is just “hahaha wheeee”

avicebron: [some completely obtuse next level kabbalistic theory] you see? ritsu, sparkling: absolutely avicebron coming to the unfortunate realization that he is just slightly moronsexual:

i want avicebron to experience physical affection that he has not before and go “???????!!!!?” about it bc that’s cute. Ritsu will be careful about it tho dw. ritsu sees ur grumpy beetle man with no friends and will treat him RIGHT. ritsu will hold his hand but also feel like its very remarkable and worthy of appreciation that he gets to hold aicebron’s hand.

#ooc #vindictalead‌ #praediitus #asks

[spirit-shroud]

heeey there! how's your day so far? :D

god okay i had SUCH A DAY yesterday 

so like i got on a bus from my town to nyc at like 1 am bc i’m out visiting family for a month and its all cool and fine, i listened to some night vale, zoned out, wrote a vivid 250k slow burn self insert fanfic in my head, it was fun. i dont mind public transport all that much tbh it’s like, the pinnacle of shitty but there’s just something very. human about how uncomfortable it is. like. we really made Long Cars and stripped them completely of amenities and comfort. whack. so that was fine

and then i got like. into nyc. and i had to take like. a second bus to get to the right place in long island where i’d eventually be collected and all that. i, exhausted, sleepless, at 440 in the morning rolled up to the info desk w my second ticket like ‘HEY where do i go for this’ and the guy is just like ‘oh it’s terminal X’ and im just like ‘okay that says long island that seems legit, i’m not gonna fact check that.’ so i waited and read a little (started reading It Devours and let me tell u potato girl is my favourite and i have known her for roughly 9 pages. but thats a tangent) n checked my watch and was like ‘hey so it’s like. 540 and boarding was at 530.’ and walked up to the info desk to ask what was up, if the bus was late, etc. and he tells me that i need to be up three whole floors and across the building to be at the right terminal. so i’m just like ‘oh god, oh fuck’ and he just looks at me like ‘good luck’ and i just start like. Running towards the elevator

this nice lady with a stroller asked me if i was ok and i was like ‘no actually’ and we both took a moment in the elevator to do the stressful half-glance, half-sigh thing people do when they’re uncomfortable and in a bus station at 6am and life just sucks. it was a nice bit of solidarity, but far too shortlived. i got off the elevator and started running towards terminal Y with the last energy my legs have, because by this point i’d been awake for over 20 hours and i’m usually awake for like, 10. i arrive, and stop a guy who looked like he worked there like ‘hey uhhh is this bus still here’ and he said. something that sounded like a terminal number but i like. can’t hear. idk what it is about port authority but it has like. anti-hearing magic set up at every point in the station. and so i went out just like ‘oh. it’s. not here.’ and had a panic attack for like five minutes and angrily texted some people before just being like ‘yeah whatever this might as well be happening’ and figuring out what i’d do next. 

so then the guy i stopped earlier was just like ‘hey im the driver actually you’re like the only person going to LI this way so let’s head off’ and i’m probably looking at this guy with an expression between Deep Suspicion and Genuine Reverence, if you can imagine. he takes my ticket, i get on. we get sorted out where i’m being dropped off and everything and i’m just like ‘hey ykno this feels a little weird. this is surreal. this isn’t how things normally roll’ so my instinct was to like... bring up the route on gps, keep my keys between my fingers and made sure i wasn’t listening to anything just so i was like. 100% alert. i had my bags around me in such a way i could push out the emergency window and roll the fuck away if needed. i kept constant correspondence with some people in my discord just so if i stopped responding they’d know something potentially went awry. i was prepared. i was paranoid and exhausted and frankly in far too much post-public transport haze to be dealing with anything that was happening. the world was upsetting. new york city is just as full of pigeons as i remember, and long island is really nice this time of year, even if it went up to 111 F today. 

but i did not get murdered nor taken on some very strange route, in fact, the driver was very nice and understanding that i was frazzled as hell because that is the default state of Bus, and i was collected up by my family. we got a bagel and coffee and then i passed out for like five hours and it was fantastic 

and today was otherwise nice, like, post-nap we just kinda hung out w our parent in laws and ate pizza and got into arguments about politics and it went well. and now i’m supposed to be sleeping because these guys get up at like, the crack of dawn, but instead i’m watching anime kjsdfhgljkdhfjgksdf i think we’re going to the beach today 

so yeah! i went on An Adventure! too much of one. but, it just be like that sometimes. i hope your day has been far less befrazzling

#kc takes questions

[flusteredmountainman]

Since a bitch got sent one (1) ask only about. my ask meme that I created lol I’m going to go through and answer B) all of them bc i can... its selfcare.....

First 3 answers above the cut, other 47 below lmfao

Favourite of the main 6? I think the title of my blog speaks for itself lol

Least favourite of the main 6? Garbage stink piss man (Lucio)

Which of the main 6 do you want to slap the most? The aforementioned piss man but.... also kjaenfjkfea at times. Julian very badly because he’s just Like that but he’d probably enjoy that unfortunately

^

^

^

Which of the main 6 have the most similar interests to you? (favourite colour, flower, food, drink, season, hobbies etc.) Portia tbh!!! She’s a very sweet spring girl and I also have a fairly similar personality to her. 

Who has the most tragic backstory? Mmmm.....muriel.......... I mean everyone has a pretty sad past but Muriel’s really is something else. The man is Heavily traumatised and I desperately want to give him a hug :(

Favourite side character? Mazelinka.... adopt me challenge kjaefkjnaf. i cant stop thinking about “goat bitch” what a fucking icon

Favourite animal friend?  Faust!!!! shes a good girl!!!

Best/worst of the courtiers? fuck i dont remember any of their names but valerius is. hot basard. worst is vlastomil hands down im kinkshaming anyone who wants to fuck the worm

Fuck, marry, kill (asker’s choice) Well skajfnkajf I’ve shot myself in the foot but. TBH its like. Marry Muriel, fuck everyone else, kill Lucio (full disclosure I only just finished julians upright ending and haven’t played Nadia’s yet so this may change except for wanting to marry Muriel and kill Lucio lol)

Romance or fluff? (Muriel) Fluff!!!!! Muriel deserves all the affection in the whole wide world. He gets sick? Bundle him up in furs by the fire and cuddle up into him with a good book. You look at him once? he blushes. it really doesnt get fluffier than that ++ a lot of his character arc in general is going to be.... letting himself trust you............. which is. so fucking wholesome

Wild night out or quiet night in? ( Muriel ) Quiet night in lmfao. We’d just hang out inside drinking hot chocolate and talking until we fell asleep propped up against the wall in his tiny house having completely lost track of time. 

Adventure or domesticity? ( Muriel ) I wanna say adventure because. I love travelling! I love going out and trying new things! And Muriel very does Not but I feel like getting him out of his comfort zone would do him some good! Starting small would probably be best, like maybe a tramp or going camping once in a while, then building up to bigger trips to other cities once you’ve convinced him you’ll both be ok as long as you’re prepared.

Cute date to the aquarium/zoo/park or elegant dinner date? ( Muriel ) I already answered this one B) I said: “ Definitely somewhere casual!!! I feel like he’d be most at ease somewhere like the park on a sunny day! Pick a nice grassy spot by a creek and bring a basket and have a really nice, chill picnic, and have a nap together in the early afternoon sun. Go for a walk after and talk about Plants (because i. am a biology student lol)  and generally just have a really relaxing time. Give the man a flower? Tuck it behind his ear? and he’d die kjnaefjnaej. Alternatively….. aquarium………. “

Coffeshop AU, high-school/college AU or modern AU? Give a headcanon about the one you chose jnakfjkjaf coffe shop AUs are so cliched but I actually love them for the settings of meetcutes. You meet Muriel when he’s on his rounds as a part time dog walker around the block and you barrel straight into him coming out of the shop when you’re checking an email, spilling the (now cold) remnants of your beverage all over him. You apologise profusely and he shrugs it off, blushing over your fussing and awkwardly tries to excuse himself. You insist on helping him finish his walk with All these dogs, anyway, you like dogs so it’s no trouble, and he begrudgingly agrees to finish the interaction sooner. You end up having a nice chat with him and notice in the weeks after that he starts coming by the shop without the dogs during the times you’re usually around, even though he doesn’t drink coffee. Your conversations with him during these short interludes quickly become the highlight of your day, and you start to suspect, eventually, that he feels the same :)

If (Muriel) turned up on your doorstep at midnight covered in blood, how would you react? Well I’d clean it off.... of .......course............. 👀👀👀

You’re stranded on a desert island; which 2 of the main 6 do you want with you? Muriel of course not only because I adore him but he’s. also a mountain man. Handy. And Asra because hes a good good magic boy and can make sand into water so.... handy. also asra is just an incredibly blessed person so kajefnkjaef

If your apprentice could go back in time and change one thing before the events of the game, what would it be? lucios birth :^)

You’re sick; who do you want to take care of you and why? I think I’m becoming predictable but. Muriel kjaefnkjafnjf you took such good care of him so it’s only fair that he should return the favour. He’s got a surprisingly good bedside manner and is generally just very gentle. Cooks eggs and grumbles that you should be taking better care of yourself but when you say thanks for all his help he blushes and kinda. stands up slightly straighter bc hes secretly happy he can Help

If you were trapped in an elevator with one character for 8 hours, who would you want it to be and why? Jojaefafjoafe ok so. Porbably Portia because she seems 1. one of the least likely to panic and 2. Would have fucking great conversation the whole time. 

Give a headcanon about Nadia She loves romcoms!!!! She would never ever admit it to anyone though, but she’s a huge sucker for romance stories in general. Cries at the end of mamma mia. Uses it as an excuse to snuggle all the way into your shoulder.

Give a headcanon about Asra He’s extremely lactose intolerant but he eats it anyway bc hes Chaotic and gives 0 fucks about how bad his guts feel afterwards, the cheese was Worth it dammit (and I say this bc thats also me kjaenfnef)

Give a headcanon about Julian Had a brief stint in his teen years where he unironically identified as sapiosexual

Give a headcanon about Portia She loves playing with hair/having her hair played with! Catch her falling asleep with her head in your lap as you weave your fingers through her hair.

Give a headcanon about Muriel I also already answered this one!:  “ He’d be really into gardening if he knew how! Catch me digging up all the dirt around his house and planting herbs, flowers (*cough* forgetmenots *cough) and other medicinal plants, and some strawberries for when spring comes! “

Give a headcanon about Lucio Unironically identifies as sapiosexual now even though he’s a huge dumbass himself 

Give a headcanon about a side character/the apprentice (asker’s choice) Nadia’s dad gets pegged

Give a popular opinion that you disagree with People calling Muriel a dom. have you. looked at this man. I have to laugh

Give an unpopular opinion Lucio sucks lol

Tarot or zodiac? Zodiac!!! Mostly bc I know exactly 0 things about tarot, I appreciate the aesthetic tho!

What is your patron major arcana? Oh worm I just looked at all the explanations in the wiki and tbh. The empress uh. dragged me with how much I ID with that (both reversed and upright) so akejfkjfae thats mine

Upright or reversed ending? Upright

Ot3? Me x muriel x asra (muriel has 2 hands and 2 tiny partners)

Brotp? jakjefnkanfe i love. portia and julians sibling banter. the good shit

Favourite non-apprentice-based ship? asriel............................. till i die............. (pordia is also fucking god tier)

Is the apprentice you, or your OC? thats just me bich kajefnkjnafe we living our best self indulgent lives 

Tell me about your Apprentice(s) im a big bi mess and i would die for muriel and thats it really

Favourite piece of worldbuilding lore? already answered: “ I really love how much of a shithole Vesuvia is kjbanefknaefk like. No formal process of trial/law? Public executions just being how people Do things? someone fucking help this city lmfao”

Favourite background/location? ok i really love nopal bc of all the cacti but tbh like. really anywhere theres a lot of cool nature? the forest is fucking good

The Forest or Nopal? bring the cacti from nopal to muriel’s hut in the forest and it’s perfect

The Palace or the shop? thheeee shop. i like the palace but i think id get Overwhelmed not being able to just. be in my own space a lot lol

The Rowdy raven or the library? the library with a healthy amount of alcohol lol. 

Favourite sprite?

43. Favourite character design?  I !!!!!!!!! really. love Asra’s design bc of its howl callback but all the designs r fucking cool 44. Best masquerade outfit?    Nadia’s..... glamorous..... 45. Best scene? Muriel. hugging. faust you and asra. hes so fucking wholesome ill cry...... or just straight up both of his books akjenfkjafn 46. Worst Scene? Honestly any containing lucio 47. Favourite song on the soundtrack? I love Crowd hammer! (predictable) but also memory 48. Best tale/bonus content? I dont remember names im terrible but i/ love the muriel one ofc kjneafkjn 49. Best CG?/ 50. Favourite memory?

#muriel #its not. an ask but imma tag it that way #asks #hcs #it speaks #nadia #lucio #julian #portia #asra #jaye writes

[crafiet]

1-50 of the writers ask thingy, tell me everything :D

D:

1 : What age-group do you write?adult! ive always written characters my age or a few years older

2 : What genre do you write?sff, mostly fantasy

3 : Do you outline according to big ideas or small details?hmmm, i guess small details? when i get an idea, i get an idea for single scenes or pieces of dialogue or a certain character, so i piece together an outline from that. but i have trouble with a overarching plot lol

4 : Which do you prefer–line-editing or plot-revisions?line-editing, i love editing. revisions suck bc it takes me 10,000 yrs to come up with an idea and now i have to replace it with another??? blasphemous

5 : Do you write better with or without deadlines?ive written my whole life without deadlines except for when i tried nano last year and failed. so without i guess, but then i dont have anything to convince me to write more lmao

6 : What would be the biggest compliment you could hope to receive on your current WIP?idk probably that its someones favourite book, or to see fanart *.*

7 : How long is your current WIP?26,305 words, its a rewrite heh

8 : What author would you be most excited to be compared to?hummmmmm,,,idk when people call new fantasy books “the next game of thrones” it sounds so fake lol but idk who my favourite author is...

9 : What do you struggle most with as a writer?writing

10 : Do you brain-storm story ideas alone or with others?mostly alone but YOU, ASH, help sometimes. its good to get an objective ear

11 : Do you base your characters off of real people?nah lol, im not good at characters

12 : Is your writing space clean or cluttered?clean

13 : Do you write character-driven or plot-driven stories?plot-driven. my writing is extremely fast paced, and i dont tend to like reading character-driven works

14 : Do you have a favorite writing-related quote?ive answered this in previous ask. the 'drunk on writing’ one by ray bradbury

15 : If you transport your original characters into another author’s world, which world would you choose?everyone else’s worlds are so harsh lol maybe id put them in atla so they can fuck around w bending

16 : Would your story work better as a movie or tv show? Why?miniseries ﾟ*｡(･∀･)ﾟ*｡ but it would lend itself to a movie yeah

17 : Do you make soundtracks for each story?nah, lazy ass

18 : If you could assign your story one song, what would it be?unbecoming by starset

19 : Would you rather live in your characters’ world, or have your characters come live in our world?honestly? i wanna escape capitalism and wield a sword

20 : What book would you love to see adapted for the big or small screen?zero world by jason m hough!!!! its a pretty big book i think a movie duology or a tv show would work!

21 : Do you finish most of the stories you start?no

22 : Has your own writing ever made you cry?no lol 

23 : Are you proud or anxious to show off your writing?anxious cz im bad

24 : When did you start considering yourself a writer?i meannnnnnnn do i even now thoooooo

25 : What books are must-reads in your genre?sff is so broad, read whatever tf u want

26 : What would you like to see more of in your genre?diversity, not just in race gender sexuality but in fucking plots like damn give me something w a twist

27 : Where do you get inspiration from?real life, books, movies

28 : On a scale of 1-10, how much do you stress about choosing character names?about a 2, i just search on a generator until i find one i like im not a stickler for names nd i dont usually have placeholder names or anything

29 : Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?chronic underwriter hence the only 20k words

30 : Does writing calm you down or stress you out?calm me down, i have no control over my own life so its good to have complete control over my oc’s lives. i dont tend to have the ‘characters run away from me’ thing, but probably bc i dont see it like that lol

31 : What trope do you actually like?ride-or-die, charas who are knowledgeable and badass from the beginning, i hate following the character learning to do something lmao im impatient

32 : Do you give your side-characters extensive backstories?depends on the side character, every character is fleshed out to an extent but i dont do a massive family tree or anything

33 : Do you flesh-out characters before you write, or let their personalities develop over time?i tend to create characters before plot so i would say i know them pretty well before starting but i do let them develop naturally within the story without forcing them into any box

34 : Describe your old writing in one word.tryhard

35 : Is it more fun to write villains or heroes?mmm both have their merits, i went through a phase where i loved villains but a warped heroes journey or a morally grey/anti-hero can be super good too

36 : Do you write with a black and white sense of morality?nah, murky

37 : What’s one piece of advice you would give to new writers?try anything. anything it doesnt matter if ur nervous or you ‘dont write in that genre’ or you dont even like that genre. its good to train yourself and go out of your comfort zone, makes u a better writer imo. also dont read this and think ‘im not writing an entire historical romance novel bc i hate it’ i mean just one shots. a paragraph or two. try out writing prompts, it really flexes ur skillsalso dont feel like everything u have to write will be published, thats what i mean by try out little paragraphs or prompts. let go of this idea that any of this work will see the light of day [unless u rly want it to] and just have fun, go wild, go crazy, go stupid

38 : What’s one piece of writing advice you try–but fail–to follow?its mostly those ones that help u have cleaner, more beautiful writing. i write really beige-like and its hard to be poetic or flowery

39 : How important is positive reinforcement to you as a writer?probably super important

40 : What would you ask your favorite author if given one question?when ur next book out

41 : Do you find it distracting to read while you’re writing a first draft?nah

42 : Do critiques motivate or discourage you?ive never really had many, so i would say discourage bc i dont have a thick skin with my writing

43 : Do you tend to write protagonists like yourself or unlike yourself?unlike myself, i like to write bold, confident characters and im not that lol escapism much

44 : How do you decide what story idea to work on?whichever interests me the most at the moment, i can jump between projects easily so i dont have a problem 

45 : Do you find it harder or easier to write when you’re stressed out?harder, i cant look at my writing if im stressed else ill absolutely hate it and might do something drastic like delete it all lol

46 : What Hogwarts house would your protagonist(s) be in?ary is slytherincyri is ravenclawash is gryffindorcaena is slytherin [i dont know how to spell the house names]

47 : Where do you see yourself as a writer in five years?still writing id hope

48 : Would you ever co-write?nah

49 : Are you a fast and rushed writer or a slow and deliberate writer?i used to be fast and rushed bc i was so impatient i just wanted to see the end product but i realised that i really love being in the world of my wips as long as possible so i draw it out and really mull everything over

50 : Would you rather be remembered for your fantastic world-building or your lifelike characters?both lol? i do love worldbuilding but i think characters make a greater impact

#writing #answered-ask #cloudybookash