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#tide is a little off model but it’s ok
awksbush · 6 months
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JRWITOBER DAY 27: TREAT
…so it was meant be about baking but- it might’ve gotten too gay too quick-
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helioshellion · 2 months
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hello helioshelion.. i wonder what ur thoughts are on majima's (absence of) backstory up until age 20 and how u deal with it canon compliant-ically or in aus. i find it frustrating like everyone else but at the same time any kind of explanation people come up with to fill in the gaps doesnt land for me... i am unsure why. maybe becuase theres so little to go off so its basically entirely made up? or maybe because its not in the vein of his character? anyway i think you are the yakuza man so i would like to know what u think happened in that time. snake eyes is kind of narratively satisfying to me because patriarchs being father figure adjacent and imparting traits and shaping their subordinates is the closest thing to kind of. growing up i think?? that majimas story has. so having sagawa and shimanos influence transposed onto his actual developmental years actually feels like the most character accurate backstory to me even if it is removed from canon. (i dontknow very much sorry if i got anything wrong) butyeah anyway love ur models im like OH SHIT!!!! HES FUCKING MAKING!!!!!!!! ok thats it have a good daaaaayyy
I think what's important and vital to this narrative is for Majima to not be the central focus. Of course I believe the most interesting concept for Snake Eyes is Majima's exploration and coming into his own in a way that justifies who he is within what we DO know of his past, aka Y4 and 0. I believe it is within Dead Souls' cabaret where Majima tells the hostess that if he could go back to any time to redo things, it'd be 14, and therefore it's where I landed on a timeframe- the moment Majima meets Shimano. I believe Majima is at his best as a character who is reactive, but not focused on. He is entirely a character who is shaped by the people around him, both within the lore and within the meta itself, he is not the main character. He is swayed and changed by the events around him, with little to no control in changing this, because he is simply an NPC, and that's the small tragedy of Majima. A character who is so strongly tied to the idea of control, of shaping his own future, when really he has no agency, not within the narrative, not within the game. Anyways, that is the central focus on Snake Eyes. What kind of man Shimano Futoshi is, and by extension, what that says about Majima Goro as a boy. Is there any parallels I can make between the men Majima would later on follow in life and the man he swore his name to? I wrote earlier about agency, and that's something I think that's very important to Shimano's character as well. Present day, you wouldn't exactly compare Shimano to Kiryu, or Saejima, but that's what I find to be the most interesting thing to explore- if I can make a case that there are those similarities, what would change so drastically that Shimano would become the man you see in the series. Sagawa is merely a pawn in this exploration, just the same as he is a pawn in 0. I really enjoy connecting narrative within gameplay. Majima's a stone in the tide, I'd say, stuck on the bottom to be shaped over years and years and years.
So yeah! Snake Eyes is about Shimano, and how he changes the people around him, and how that changes him. Uroboros or whatever.
I think what's funny is that despite being the AU guy, I try to keep myself strictly to canon compliancy, and the things I do change I need to justify. Like me making the decision to have Sagawa be Yasuko Saejima's birth father. We knew her dad was an Omi man in Sotenbori, and that he was money focused. It was a loose comparison, but the idea of exploring that was so interesting to me. Yakuza is all about fatherhood sometimes, so why not.
Majima's character in Snake Eyes, again, meant to justify who he is later on, but also I do not want this idea of Majima being wholly good and brought into evil. I do not think it's black and white. There's something in Majima that was probably there long before Shimano, something that brought him to the point that men like him were to be followed. In the right light, even the worst actions can be seen as heroic, justified, admirable, especially to a kid. Kind of like Ichiban, I guess!
Another funny thing is that I tend to steer away from the idea of Majima needing a backstory. I believe how he is is perfectly suitable and fine for who he is. I do not want to see where he grew up, but I do like using implications to paint an idea of how and why he is who he is. It's sort of why I have an OC who exists as Majima's birth father in Snake Eyes, meant to sort of paint this all literally. Discarding this past for the sake of the role you are meant to play. Maybe it's a nihilist perspective, but I believe Snake Eyes is a nihilist's story. It's a perfect parallel for Forever Yours, an optimistic exploration of fatherhood and how that shapes a person.
This was a lot. hope you enjoy to read.
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hoodie-buck · 2 years
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thanks for the tag love @monsterrae1 this one’s for you 😘
Once they got back to the shop, they puttered around, making sure everything was ready to go. They’d bought enough bags of candy to supply the entire town, Eddie making sure to get extra the last time he went to the store on account of Buck and Chris eating two of the last bags. Speaking of—
“Don’t think I can’t hear that wrapper!”
Buck poked his head around the corner then, his most innocent smile in place; Eddie didn’t buy it for a second. Eddie pointed a finger out, beckoning to him. “You, put the candy down and c’mere. We have work to do.”
Buck pouted a little for it, swallowing whatever he’d already shoved into his mouth before sauntering over to Eddie, wrapping him in a hug.
“Ok babe, what’s on the schedule?”
Eddie knew what he wanted to be on their schedule, though that would have to wait until later.
“Firstly, I need you to strip your shirt off.”
Buck raised his brows playfully, Eddie rolling his eyes as he produced a shirt from one of the nearby boxes.
“It’s for the new fall shirts. I need a model for the website.”
Buck, always happy to oblige, stripped his shirt off, Eddie’s mind wandering once again. Before he drifted off to late nights on the beach, the sand beneath them, tangled in each other, Eddie handed over the shirt, watching as Buck pulled it over his taught muscles.
While Eddie looked it over, Buck used the mirror to do the same, the two smiling for the new logo Chris had drawn. The shirt was black with a white skeleton riding a surfboard in the middle, the skeleton wearing orange pumpkin board shorts. The surfboard was purple with ghosts, a giant wave cascading over the skeleton. Written across the top was ‘the high tide—surfers beware.’
tagging: @swiftiediaz @mansikkaomenabanaani @confetti-cupcake @loveyourownsmiilee @honestlydarkprincess @justsmilestuffhappens @onward--upward @moondiaz @swiftiebuckleys @monsterrae1 @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @eddiediazisascorpio @buddierights @dickley-buddie @daughterofbuddie @vampirebuckleys @jacksadventuresinwriting @djdangerlove
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jockbots · 2 years
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Hey, Mori!!! 💖🙌👑
I noticed the 'weird asks' ask game on your dashboard, so can I submit these: 1, 9, 10, 14, 22, 30, 45, 48, 51, 56, 58, 62, 71, 88, 93???
Also, how you've been doing? And happy birthday (idk when your bd is, but since it's the end of the Leo season, it must'd already happened, so there you go 🥳🥳🥳)!!! 🎉🎉🎉 I just hope you're doing fine.
See ya soon and take care! 🤗
(And you look gorgeous with short-hair... just an observation. 👀👌)
SUP JOLI ✨️✨️✨️
im so glad u asked c:: first here r my answers!!!
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, watter bottles, or soda cans
wine glasses bc they r fancy af but also mugs bc i am always looking for the correct serving of tea
9. favourite smell in the summer
fave summer smell has to currently be my favourite juice! which is apple and elderflower is so sweet and refreshing!!!
10. games you were best at in p.e
yikes i hated pe but u was weirdly good at discuss and actually represented my class one time and one. and i played netball a little and was okay at it
14. favourite non-chocolate candy?
fruitella, strawberry flavoured! or haribos original star mix (minus the eggs bc icky)
22. role model?
currently i have 2 bc i will always always look up to dolly parton but atm bc of harp goals i also adore deborah henson-conant who is a jazz harpest that is just not only extremely talented but just like so ambitious and creative and funny i want to b here so baad
30. places that you find scary
offices like especially boss offices or like principal offices i have many reasons and mainly its just theh give me major anxiety if its something that can be discussed outside of an office on a shop floor or over zoom im all in ITS WEIRD I KNO but i am a weenie
also on the beach with the tide coming in COVERED IN FOG it may seem aesthetic but ITS ACTUALLY FUCKING TERRIFYING U HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAR U HAVE TO GO U JUST HAVE TO TRUST THERES A WAY TO GET OFF
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero
lol ok so judging by the content i post youd think fantasy obvi but actually im a giant sci-fi nerd that seen all the classics, read mostly sci-fi novels and played space themed games. fantasy was always second. HOWEVER lotr always takes 1st place so ye weird little weenie
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
i am loyal to the pinapple and therefore will joint the ranks of the pineapple
51. current stresses
the basics required to being a single 20summin living alone in an expensive country with a creative job, why dont luthiers and musically professionals get paid more? am i working hard enough? am i good enough at my job? is my mum going to b ok in her later years? can i take care of her? r my brothers going to be able to move out too and have their own lives? how old is my dog now? is she mad at me for leaving? is my best friend ok? should i get their mums number bc they r v sick ITS A LOT LETS CLOSE THAT BAG UP
56. favourite tradition?
58. four talents you're proud of having
okokok 1) being able to kind play the harp 2) speaking welsh 3) being able to draw sometimes 4) being able to read electrical drawings
62. seven characters you relate to
yoooo here we go 1. Maeglin 2. Red Alert 3. Mia Thermopolis 4. both Guiera and Meis from Promare 5. Raph in all continuities 6. Zagrius from Hades and 7. Jim Hawkins from treasure planet... how did i not kno i was nb???
71. least favourite pattern
burbery blachh icky its just cheap wannabe tartan!!!
88. your greatest wish?
to live comfortably in my own little cottage with my dog bonnie. also i wish i could b a conductor for an orchestra idk y i kno barely anything abt music but i think id lv it
93. nicknames?
o jeez the current ones i have are sibster, kitty, mori, kat, kathleeeeen, little p, squirrel and meimei
second thank u for asking ive been pretty swamped my job is v demanding and ive been kind of letting it take priority plus but im going on holiday in a week so hopefully i can unwind and do some of my own hobbies.
and yes!!! it was my bday last month! it wasn't anything special i was working lol
annnnf THANK U THANKU i lv having short hair v much but boi does it need more attention that long hair like i have to actually fix my hair a lot more in the morning so i dont look batshit
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druid-for-hire · 5 years
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new Hadestown au, ICARUS!ORPHEUS, wherein orpheus is not the world’s greatest musician but rather the world’s greatest inventor/mechanic/tinkerer. his creations are wondrous and beautiful and a miracle. Orpheus his mission is to create something that will repair the world--take what’s broken, make it whole.
Orpheus is still very much an artist--only his art in this AU is visual instead of auditory. and he’s still poor! not everything he makes is immediately useful for survival and y’know, hardly anyone has the money to buy things, and he has a propensity to just. give things away, especially the smaller trinkets he makes. and they take a Long Time to make. so he still works at hermes’ bar
SO!!!
this orpheus is body pain solidarity KDSKFJH
he has a fucked up back from all the heavy lifting he does around the workshop, being hunched over while he works on stuff, and being stuck in weird positions for extended periods of time when he’s working on machines and whatever, especially the bigger ones
also he’s got a wrist brace
he has a set of gear he wears a lot especially when he’s in his workshop
1) his wing pack! he built it himself and he’s proud. the pack was also made to help with his back problems. he doesn’t wear his mechanic gear when he’s working at the bar, but sometimes he’ll leave the wings on because back hurty. also, following w icarus, the wings are kept smooth & together and waterproofed w wax, kinda like a gloss. he reapplies every so often
2) his goggles! every part about the design is impractical (the red lenses and the beak) but i like them. they protect his eyes from flying bits and sparks and sawdust etc. when he’s working and wind when he’s flying
3) his boots! they’re sturdy workin’ boots, and have a talon function to clasp onto and lift things up. especially useful for moving bigger things around the workshop, up to higher levels and what have you, and he gets to flit around the whole space with minimal usage of ladders. (yes, they’re inspired by Vulture’s boots from Spider-Man: Homecoming)
(ALSO. the model of his wings are white crow wings, bc of the myth of Coronis)
because in greek mythology, crows started out white and had beautiful voices and the reason they turned black and got croaky calls is because a crow had to tell Apollo that his lover, Coronis, left him to marry a mortal 
and Apollo got so upset he burned the crow and then burned Coronis to death, or burned the crow and then turned Coronis into a crow, depending on the version
(thanks to @princessponies81 for helping me figure this bit out)
so there are some... parallels here
also, IIRC crow wings are elliptical-type wings, meaning they’re good for a lot of control and maneuverability in tight spaces. good for the workshop
also he makes automata too! he has this little mockingbird to help him around the workshop. lots of calls for lots of signals, like how a car will have diff beep signals for low gas or parking brake on or door left open or key left in etc... little bird can measure and alert for lots of things
he’s also less noodle-y than canon orpheus because of how much he uses his arms and legs doing lifting, work, and flying
he’s not like. Built or anything. but hes got some strength to him
he doesn’t just make really good machines either; he’s absolutely as skilled in fine, delicate things as much as the big pieces—he sees the details himself, has to make it himself, he’s as skilled in silversmithy or goldsmithy as he is in mechanics, and i imagine he has skills in metallurgy too. maybe even a bit of glassblowing? just for piece assembly. all his pieces will fit most perfectly if he makes them himself
things like the Silver Swan automaton (i’d link a video but external links are illegal on tumblr)
also... i don’t know if they manage to get married this time, but they at least get the wedding bands
lover, tell me, if you can--who’s gonna make the wedding bands?
@supercantaloupe: the river gonna give us the wedding bands -- he draws the mineral, the stones from the silt, and crafts them himself
SO, he charms eurydice with one (or many) of his dazzling creations that also have usages in practicality and survival
as is the youzhe, she leaves when he gets to obsessive with working on something, holed up in his workshop instead of like. Surviving the winter
they last longer into the winter this time though because again, he does have a couple of machines good for tiding over the winter and surviving, and eurydice can operate them. but he’s too caught up with creating something to fix the world to repair them when they break down
when he leaves, he leaves his mockingbird to take care of his workshop while he’s gone. make sure there’s not leaks or fires, etc., keep everything in working order
the trip to hadestown still takes a long time, but less time than in canon, given that orpheus gets there on a pair of wings, though he gets grounded plenty of times due to bad weather. plus, his wings aren’t really meant for long-distance
so in the end the time still matches up; the events underground still happen on the onset of proper spring
he sails over the wall of the Styx on his wings, but it’s a feat easier said than done; it really is high and wide, just... hundreds of feet tall, and i headcanon that the “wall” is in fact seven layers of fortification because some myths say the River Styx wraps around the underworld seven times
and he is not a high altitude flier
uhhhhhhhhh blah blah something something ... i’m not clear on all the details but here are a few things:
orpheus gets the shit kicked out of him in Papers as usual and the fates hold his wings over him instead of his guitar
i have no idea how If It’s True goes
SOMEWHERE there’s Hey Little Songbird II (thank you to @supercantaloupe​ for authoring this idea);
it's Hades to Orpheus this time. Ironic, as he sings and flies, a real songbird.
and orpheus, that inspired inventor, that mechanic, that engineer, blessed by Hephaestus himself, being tempted to stay. It's a marvel of engineering, those factories. But they're rough around the edges, dirty, inefficient, unrefined. Imagine all the work he could do. Imagine how grand it would be, with just his help. And imagine how much fun it would be to fix it all!
but since he's fallen in love - and lost her once already - he has to pause and think. it's too good to be true, isn't it? Is it true? Can he really stay here forever, with parts and tools and endless projects worthy of his skill and attention - at least, without her?
ok back to me writing stuffs
there is no Epic I / Epic II / Epic III; the titles are now Trial I / Trial II / Trial III, like trial runs of prototypes, and on the third one it has a double meaning as a trial of judgement
Trial III goes as such:
(and thank you to @ferretteeth for this)
Hades orders him to build.  An impressive invention in turn for his life – a chance he gives only because his wife is smitten with interest. 
Orpheus gets three days and no more, and when he is finally ordered to come before the throne of basalt and steel he brings his invention. And Hades gives a curt, mocking laugh, because all Orpheus has in his hands is a simple box of bronze, cheap and adorably human. 
 He almost orders for Orpheus' death the moment he sees it, but then the boy lifts the lid and reveals a mechanical flower. Petals made out of metal rusted rosy, nectar of flecks of fool's gold. 
Delicate and beautiful; extremely finely spun, as if the metal were only woven fibers. It is as soft as any silk.
"Where did you get that," the king snaps in a hurry. "How did you know–" 
And then, with the twist of a key, the invention reveals to be a music box and long lost chords fill the Underworld.
(i originally had the idea that he builds a planetarium that replicates the summer above, a caught snippet of the thing that hades could never make on a large scale. a beautiful thing with flowers that blossomed and played the old song as hades brushed his hands across them, sun above. but i figured it’s probably more in line with the sensibilities of Hadestown if orpheus had created something less... grand)
so eurydice and orpheus are granted their chance to leave.
i’m not sure what the test is, because he’s got to fly out with eurydice clutched in his talons, and i want him to be as much a victim of his doubt as in canon
but he has to follow this flight path with absolute perfection, down to the flap. you fly too high, the flames of hadestown will catch him. he flies too low, the flames of hadestown will catch her.
i think, in his paranoia, he flies too high, and his wings catch fire
his wings are on fire--his arms are strapped in to them. he’s burning up. he’s burning.
he’s slowing down in his ascent. in a moment, he knows that if they’re going to make it, it’ll only be one of them, and... he’s not going to drop eurydice. he can’t do that to her.
when his wings can no longer climb, he throws her the final distance to the surface. she turns around and reaches desperately for him, but he’s too far away.
he falls. a comet.
he breaks.
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the fact is, he dies
but he dies in hadestown. so now he’s just... well, one, no chance of going back aboveground. two, now he’s... sitting at the bottom of that long climb, broken and in pain, surrounded by the charred skeleton of his wings, broken and burned feathers, drips of melted oil and wax, and blood
he’s... there for a long time, just suffering, before someone comes to see if they made it out, and finds him at the bottom
hades sees this as an opportunity to bring him back, let him heal, and put him onto projects, perhaps “to get your mind off of it all,” but. orpheus doesn’t want to work. he doesn’t want to do anything
thanks to supercanteloupe again for co-authoring this section:
Hades says he'll squander his god given talents to just sit around all day but Orpheus won't listen
hades has just zero fucking clue how to deal with a depressed human
"have I not given him all he could want, metal, tools, a workbench? Bed, bread, fire? Strength in his bones? And yet he refuses still? The boy must be mad," he cries, angry
@s-aint-elmo: "i got a new mechanist" 
“you ruined a perfectly good talented young man is what you did. look at him, he's got depression"
persephone herself is a mess (less so after Trial III) but she has at least some sense—she is more in touch with mortals than him, spending time with them up on the surface and throwing revels, but also greeting those who lost their lovers/sisters/brothers/mothers/fathers in the winter before
persephone encouraging orpheus to build, not for her sake or for Hades', but for his own. little flowers, little birds, wind up toys and music boxes. something to keep him going
s-aint-elmo: she brings him pressed flowers from the surface, little trinkets, tokens of the green. orpheus only lets the first few wilt and rot at the corner of his table.
flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart
it's a sad, painful reminder
he eventually has the resolve to rebuild his wing pack—better this time, because really, he feels crippled without them after living w em for so long
edit: (and the feathers are black, a la the crow myth)
when hades first sees him like, passing by w wings on his back, he turns to persephone like “what have you been saying to him?” “only what he needs to hear, husband”
he has a great fear of actually getting off the ground at first, though
he’ll perch at the edge of a rooftop, but... doesn’t move. it’s a leap of faith he doesn’t feel like he can take
he always saw air as just a medium to move through, that it would support him, as easy as swimming
now he sees straight through it to the ground
he has burn scars across the entire back of his arms, hands, and fingers
it’s a reminder every time he gets to working
rough patchy skin. calloused fingers from work
big sigh
eurydice goes home.
there is the empty shell of his workshop. his many machines and trinkets and tools and his hundreds of unfinisheds and thousands of scraps of plans, and… his bird left to care for the shop after god knows how many weeks or months.
it flies down and greets her, some string of whistles and beeps she only half understands. then it asks for orpheus
she tells it that he fell; he’s not coming back, it’s too late
the bird sticks by her from there on out, the last “living” remnant of her lover, besides his shell of a workshop
ok i haven’t thought farther than this, please have fun with this au i think it’s a new favorite alongside Unswayed AU & Apartments AU
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What are your favourite 5 things about your favourite 5 royals?
Catherine (HRH The Duchess of Cambridge)
her work with mental health - as someone who suffers with mental health issues, her work in this field interests me immensely. She’s also been at the forefront of a push to make mental health less taboo and more easily spoken about. Professor Peter Fonagy said she’s “done more to turn the tide of stigma around mental health than any other single individual that I could name”
her work with early years - as a primary school teacher, this is also a field that massively interests me. Something I’ve been pushing is for more mental health support and a wider support for the emotional and mental health of children and their families. It’s something I think would have helped me in my childhood. I’m very excited to see where her work with early years goes
her relationship with her family - both the brf and the middletons. I love that she’s so close to her parents and siblings and I bet she’s the best auntie to little Arthur. I also have always loved how well she has embedded herself with the BRF. Her relationships with Charles, Camilla, Harry, and Zara, in particular, mean the world to me
her babies - mama kmiddy is the love of my life. I can’t believe I’ve watched her go from little Waity Katie to a full on mother of three. George is 7. She will have gone through first teeth, first steps, first words, with all of them. I can’t cope
her fashion - I know everyone in the world says her fashion is boring but it’s very close to my style and that’s just rude. Plus, occasionally she BRINGS IT and I love that
Madeleine (HRH Princess of Sweden)
her family - she had to go through being cheated on in the public eye, in the close aftermath of her sister’s wedding, but she found her prince charming. She’s got three beautiful children and she is so devoted to them. In any walk of life, she would be a stay at home mum, at least until the children got older, and being a mum suits her so much
her work with childhood - the fact she works so closely with a charity founded by her mum is so sweet. She’s also on the board with Childhood Sweden and an honorary board member for Childhood USA. It’s a worldwide charity which covers a particularly important issue and I’m glad that Madde continues to work with it
her relationship with her siblings - Vikkan, Madde, and Lilip are my absolute favourite royal siblings. You can see how close they are in all their interactions and they not only all clearly love each other, but they extend that love to each other’s partners. To watch the go from three siblings in 2010 to three siblings, three spouses, and seven children in 2020 has been an honour
her min stora dag tea party - do you mean my favourite royal event of all time? Madde, in full princess drag, weaing a giant tiara and her orders, sat on the floor with a bunch of seriously ill children. These little princes and princesses were able to eat in a palace, off official antique china, with a real life princess. It makes my heart swell. The fact she brought Leonore was the icing on the cake
her evening looks - I’m back to being shallow but there is one royal who was born to wear evening gowns and tiaras and it’s Madeleine. She looks every inch the fairytale princess in a full on evening gown and she does tiara hair better than anyone
Sofia (HRH Princess of Sweden)
her wedding day - sofia’s wedding was the first non-brf wedding I watched and was actually on the day I started using this blog so it has a special day in my heart. From her wedding dress, to having Estelle in her wedding party, to the performance of Joyful, Joyful, it means a lot to me
her outfit at gabriel’s christening - for years, her outfit at Alexander’s christening was my favourite. But then she pulled out the big guns for Gabriel’s. Being from Dalarna and having her son become the Duke of Dalarna, she rocked up in national dress and stole my heart forever
the way she accepted her role - from her speech about wanting a beach wedding but that not being princess appropriate, to beginning to take on independent roles as a royal, to being accepted by the Swedes, she has taken to her role better than nearly any other married in royal. I’m in awe of how well she’s done it
the way she is still herself - if I have to see anyone else say “she should probably cover her tattoo”, I’m going to scream. She’s Princess Sofia of Sweden but she’s also Sofia, ex-glamour model, and she’s ok with that. She doesn’t try to hide her past but accepts it is part of her and moves on
sophiahemmet - not only do I love the work she’s done with sophiahemmet over the years, but she cemented herself as a forever fave when she started working as a volunteer at the hospital to help during the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. She didn’t need to do that but she did. Every other royal could take a leaf from her book
Marie (HRH Princess of Denmark)
her relationship with alexandra and her step-children - I’m forever in awe at how well she coped with marrying Joachim considering how beloved Alexandra was (and still is) in Denmark. Alexandra and Marie seem to get on really well and Nikolai and Felix (Felix in particular) both appear to have a close relationship with Marie and their half-siblings
her work with food waste - this is such a dull but important topic. The fact she quietly educated herself on the topic, pulled together people who knew a lot about the area, and then began to spread awareness was a very smart way to do it. I’ve loved how she’s including Athena and Henrik with her work in this area
her relationship with denmark - I know everyone talks about how well Mary has coped with moving from Denmark but I think everyone forgets Marie is also from a different country. I loved her little relationship with Henrik, considering they were both French, and I think she’s done a wonderful job of assimilating into a new country and a new culture. Her recent interview, where she said she is Danish and Denmark is her home, but France still has a place in her heart, really pushed this home for me
her dedication to the drf - she married the “spare”, she is the second wife of said spare, and she could easily have sat back, done the bare minimum, and turned up for tiara events. But she didn’t. She was really close with Henrik and seems to get along well with Margrethe. Marie, Mary, and Frederik also seem to get on well. Marie seems to be a loving aunt. She works hard and wants to work for the family (which also seemed clear in that article) and she clearly loves them a lot
her relationship with her babies - mama Marie is so sweet. She puts her children and step-children first. When they are with her at public events, she makes sure they are safe and happy and, if they are uncomfortable, she makes them feel safe, while still maintaining a good relationship with the press. (I’m also in awe of how well she deals with the press but that’s an issue for another day)
Letizia (HM Queen of Spain)
how she’s overcome the negativity towards her - sometimes I forget how much both Spain and the royal watching world hated Leti. Sometimes I forget how after that Easter incident, the royal watching world turned on Leti for protecting her daughter. Letizia holds her head high and gets on with her work. She is a mother and a queen and she ignores the press and public reaction against her
her fashion - damn, Leti dresses SMART. If there was a royal I’d want to get business chic inspo from, it’s Letizia. She rewears clothes a lot and she wears a lot of high street designs, and this has helped her to cultivate a useful and fashionable wardrobe
her little family - Leti, Felipe, Leonor, and Sofia are a tiny oasis. I’m proud of Leti and Felipe for protecting their children for as long as they did and I’m proud they are now supporting them as they begin to have a public-facing life. Leti clearly adores her children and I love watching her watch Leonor give speeches.
her passion for travel - Leti strikes me as a wonderful diplomat and I don’t know if that’s true but I’m going with it. She seems to have a wonderful relationship with every royal, politician, and head of state she meets. Along with Felipe, she visits a wide range of countries and she appears knowledgeable and caring
her work with children’s rights - there’s nothing I love more than Leti and babies! She’s worked in children’s rights since her marriage and it’s an area of work I am obsessed with. You can see this passion in her defence of her own children and it makes me happy that she takes this passion and this love and gives it to children who need it
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carefreejules · 3 years
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Chapter 4: Waves of Nostalgia
She was paralyzed. Laying feebly on the ground with her knees pressed to her chest with nothing but darkness surrounding her. She couldn’t even open her eyes, but...was that the sound of the waves splashing against the shore? She always found the sound comforting. 
No matter how much time passed, the gentle sound of the retreating tide never changed. 
She envied those waves. 
Then, she feels it. Something touching her ever so lightly, as if she was being treated as something delicate. Precious. 
She lets them caress her with feather-like touches, while the sounds of the rolling waves lulled her gently.
--
The morning chirps of Wingull drew Juliet to the doors leading to the balcony of her suite. Pulling the curtains back to let in the warm morning rays, and soaking in the fresh ocean breeze that wafted into the room, she looked out to the glistening sea that surrounded the port town of Hulbury. It wasn’t Lilycove City, but it was a slice of nostalgia that she couldn’t say no to. 
A morning walk along the docks felt like a good idea.
Shooting a quick message to her team that she was going to take a quick walk around town first, she changed into her usual attire but decided to forgo the varsity jacket and beret. Once she was out of the hotel, she wandered through the residential area, passed the famous seafood restaurant, and towards the dock, where she noticed the familiar Water-type Gym Leader swimming laps around the bay. Nessa carried an air of elegance wherever she went so watching her swim was like watching Primarina weave through the waves with grace. 
Upon noticing her by the docks, Nessa swam back and pulled herself out of the water. She flicked her damp hair over one shoulder and looked at Juliet curiously. Juliet beamed at the Gym Leader and reached out her hand to pull her out of the water. Nessa smiled back and allowed herself to be pulled back to the wooden docks. 
“Thank you. Juliet, right?”
“That’s right. Good morning, Nessa!”
“Good morning. It’s still pretty early and our shoot isn’t for another few hours.”
“Thanks, but I’m a bit of a morning person so I couldn’t help but take a wake through the town.” Juliet dipped her feet into the water. “You could say I’m also a bit excited to be here in Hulbury.”
Nessa shot her a playful grin. “A fan of water?”
“Something like that! I was born in a seaside city too, though in Hoenn. When I was little, sometimes I would spend hours just looking out at the sea and the ships that docked or departed.” Closing her eyes and letting the ocean breeze flow through her hair, she would have been none of the wiser if someone told her she was in Lilycove City or Slateport City. She never realized how much she missed the scenery until she heard the Wingull soaring through the skies and the splashing waves. 
Hulbury would have been the town she would have wanted to live in if she were born in Galar. Wyndon was great and she enjoyed the hustle and bustle of city life, but living by the sea always felt like home to her. 
“The ocean is a beautiful place. It’s even prettier underwater especially when the Pokemon are swimming with you.” Nessa wrapped a towel around her neck and proceeded to dry her hair. “So, how did you guys do at Milo’s Gym?”
Juliet grimaced a bit. “It was fun but also really tiring. I ended up sleeping in and I was really sore. I had trouble walking too, haha...”
“Heehee, well, don’t worry. There isn’t much physical exertion for my Gym. You’ll have to flex this, though.” Nessa tapped the side of her head. Huh, a brain challenge? Or perhaps a puzzle. Kicking off with herding Wooloo gave her the impression that the challenges would only escalate in physical intensity thereafter. It was a relief that that wasn’t the case. 
Lucky for Juliet, puzzles were more up her alley than being physically active. She didn’t consider herself smart, but she was good at thinking outside of the box. 
“Oh! That reminds me. I saw that new commercial of you riding the Milotic the other day. Both of you were so beautiful and in sync! It took my breath away.”
Nessa bashfully twirled her hair around her finger. “Thank you. Riding on that Milotic through the water and just seeing all of the Pokemon co-existing with each other down there, it really reminded me of how much I love my jobs as a Gym Leader and model.”
“It must be difficult juggling both.”
“It’s funny you mention that because, and don’t tell Rose, but he was...suggesting that I stick to one career path so I can focus my skills to the fullest in one area. But…” Nessa looked out to the sea with a fond smile on her face. “Sonia told me that I was like the Milotic. Beautiful and strong. And that’s who I’m striving to be.”
“I think you’re doing a great job of making the best of both worlds and your work shows it.” Juliet hummed curiously. “How did you even get a wild Milotic to listen to you? Even in Hoenn, they’re incredibly rare and I imagine it’s the same here.” On top of that, Feebas in general were hard to come by and raising them to evolve into a Milotic was no easy task either - but it made sense for one of the most beautiful Pokemon species in the world and made them special for a reason. 
Nessa closed her eyes and leaned back against the dock, as if reliving through a precious memory from the past. “When I was a child, I encouraged a Feebas who was being bullied by other Pokemon. They were picking on the poor thing and my love for water Pokemon couldn’t stand it. When the Milotic turned back to look at me while I was riding it, I think we both recognized each other from back then.”
Friends from the past, reuniting as better versions of themselves. Why did it...feel so familiar? It rang a distant bell in Juliet’s head, but it was too faint for her to recall where it was coming from. Perhaps it made some sense in her case with Leon, but she doubted her reunion was as heartwarming as what Nessa experienced. It wasn’t like those moments in fiction where two people who have been far apart for years, get wrapped up in a whirlwind of emotions upon seeing each other again. Her eyes narrowed. More cases of familiar feelings but nothing to associate with them. 
She would be lying if she said that the whole situation didn’t make her feel a bit melancholic. Friendships were important to her, and to forget about one until now made it feel like she had disregarded someone’s trust in her.
Why did she forget? 
How did she forget?
“Hm? Is something wrong, Juliet? You look conflicted.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. It’s nothing you need to worry about Nessa! I’m just trying to recall some stuff and I’m having a bit of trouble.”
“Is that so? I usually try not to think about what it is I’m trying to remember and it usually comes back on its own.”
“Hmm...Maybe you’re right. That’s a beautiful encounter though. Seems like the Milotic had the last laugh on whoever picked on it.”
Nessa giggled. “That’s one way to put it. But, speaking of encounters, I’m curious about something.” She leans her head over, making Juliet do the same, thinking that she had a secret to share. 
“Do you have a history with Leon?”
Juliet’s eyebrow raised curiously. “Like, have I met him before? Then yeah, I have. He stayed at my aunt’s inn for vacation with his family and we were acquainted and I’d like to think we became friends then.”
“Hmm...You don’t sound so sure.” Nessa retorted with a tilt of her head.
“Well, what I mentioned earlier about trying to remember something, has something to do with him. I can’t seem to recall the details of his stay. I just know that I’ve met him before. I feel a little guilty because he seems to remember more than me.”
Nessa’s shoulder sagged, as if saddened by the fact. “I see. Sorry for intruding.”
“It’s OK! I’m sure I’ll remember something one way or another.” Juliet pulled out her Rotom phone and pulled her feet out of the water. “I’m going to be later for breakfast so I have to get going, but I’ll see you later at your gym, Nessa!”
Watching the Raid leader run out of the docks, Nessa looked on with sympathetic eyes. Was that really her? Something about her felt...off. Could someone’s feelings change so nonchalantly that easily? Or maybe...the way he perceived the moment was one-sided? She wasn’t there to see it, but she remembered how much he talked about her when he returned from vacation. There was no mistaking his longing and adoration from back then, and though years have passed and it seemed like he had moved on from it, it looked like those feelings were creeping up on him ever so slightly. 
Nessa was a model, so she had an eye for people’s mannerisms and gestures. And she could see that same look hidden behind his golden eyes whenever he talked about her.
“If only you noticed how often he looks your way.”
--
“And....action!”
“Welcome to the Hulbury Gym. I’m Nessa, the Water-type Gym leader. In my gym, challengers will have to use their brains and wits to traverse through the puzzle of water pipes in order to reach the end and battle me. Being a strong trainer is not just about having strong Pokemon; it’s also about having a strategic mind to outsmart your opponents.” Nessa turned to Phil and Raid Prism, who were all dressed in wet suits in their respective colours. 
“Based on the results of Milo’s gym, I’m curious to see which one of you will make it through the fastest.”
“It definitely won’t be me.” Mary answered sheepishly. 
“Phil, are you going to be OK without your glasses?” Tessu asked. Phil looked a lot more pumped up than usual, which was an encouraging sight from how defeated he looked when he came in last for the previous challenge. 
“I’ll be fine! I think I’ll be able to flex my area of expertise in this gym so if you guys don’t mind, I’d like to go first!” Phil volunteered.
Nessa whistled at the host’s eagerness. “Quite the confidence you have there. If there’s no objections, let’s get you ready!”
--
“Alright, you’re up Juliet!”
In stark contrast to the Grass gym, the Water gym was made up of steel platforms, pipes, and grates that stood above a pool of water. At first glance, Juliet mentally noted that water was running over the path directly in front of her, while the free area to her right had a red switch with two other paths blocked off by rushing water. There were three different colour pipes, which meant three different coloured switches. 
“Here are the rules for this Gym. First, you are not allowed to swim over to the platform you’re trying to get to. Not only is it cheating, but it’s also dangerous. Second, you cannot forcefully go through a path that’s blocked by water. If you accidentally fall into the water, we have many lifeguards on standby to get you, but that will add on to your time. You got it?” Nessa explained. 
“Got it!”
“3, 2, 1...GO!”
Since there were no proper barriers around the platforms to prevent anyone from falling overboard, Juliet took the calm approach of brisk walking to the right and immediately activating the red switch to open up the path to the yellow switch. Pressing the red switch again, she passed over two grates and up the stairs to another platform with a red switch, and a running yellow pipe to her left. Scanning over the pipes that were not running ahead of her, she quickly figured out that there was no point in touching the red switch and followed the path to a yellow switch.
“That’s going to open up that path, which means I can go to the red switch and that path will be open…” Juliet muttered to herself. Nessa looked on with an impressed grin on her face. She had a sharp mind, just like he said. It was like she could devise each step of the puzzle before testing it, at a remarkable speed. 
Juliet already made it to the last leg of the puzzle, which was obviously the hardest part of the challenge. Jogging through the last lap, she noted the inclusion of the blue pipe, which would make the puzzle a bit more complex being an added variable. 
Blue pipe was off.
Red pipe was on, and blocked a blue switch. Running down towards the lower platform, she also noted the open path with a turned off blue pipe, led to a red switch. Going down to the lower path, she noticed a red pipe and a yellow pipe. Both off, and a yellow switch.
Yellow switch first. 
Then…
Red, then blue! 
Juliet smirked confidently. She had this in the bag. She switched off the switches in that order and pumped her first in the air seeing all three pipes in front of the finish line turned off, as she thought. She slammed the buzzer at the finish line with her fist, freezing the time and turning off all the pipes in the gym. 
“And, that’s time! Wow! You were really fast, Juliet!” Nessa praised while clapping. 
“Thanks, Nessa! I love a good puzzle, so that was really fun!”
“I could tell. You looked like you were in your element. You strike me as a quick-witted Pokemon trainer.”
“You think so? Fun fact about me is that I actually wanted to be a Pokemon Coordinator growing up but didn’t have the means to. But, that didn’t stop me from watching as many Pokemon Contests as I could to learn about quick and creative problem-solving.” Juliet could vividly recall going to the Pokemon Contest Hall as much as she could to see performances and battles between Coordinators. Showing off your Pokemon’s beauty, coolness, cuteness, cleverness, or toughness under the dazzling spotlight, it was nothing short of magnificent.
She didn’t really want to be a Pokemon Coordinator now, but she did lament the lack of opportunity for her to try in her youth. 
“A Pokemon Coordinator? I wouldn’t have expected that from you. Why did-” Nessa noticed the camera crew gesturing them to cut because of time. “Ahh, we can pick this up later. We have to keep moving. Let’s trade numbers after.”
“Sure!”
“Great work, ladies! Watch your steps on your way back!” The director shouted from across the Gym.
--
“And the winner of the Water Gym Challenge...With a time of 2 minutes on the dot...Congratulations, Juliet!”
“2 minutes!?” The other four exclaimed in shock. Juliet stuck out her tongue playfully and threw a peace sign for the camera.
“Aww man, and I thought I was going to win for sure but it definitely didn’t take me 2 minutes to complete that.” Phil bemoaned. “Show us her footage!”
Juliet’s team gawked at how composed and calm she was, as if she knew the answers to the Gym from the start. Even when she took moments to ponder over the solutions in her head, she didn’t need to go back and forth between the switches to correct any mistakes. 
“Juliet does play a lot of puzzle games and even goes through the crossword and sudoku sections of the newspaper.” Mary mentioned cheekily. Juliet puffed out her cheeks embarrassingly from that. It wasn’t like she did it all the time, but whenever she was bored and had a newspaper lying around, it was a good way to kill time.
“You make me sound like an old man. Do you guys not go through the newspaper for the games and comics at the end?”
“No.” They answered in unison. 
“Ehhh...”
“Cheer up, Juliet. You won the challenge! And since Milo did this, I think I’ll do so as well. Here’s my rare League card as your prize.” Nessa handed her a holographic League card of Nessa modelling in a white satin dress, along with her autograph. 
“Thank you, Nessa!”
“You’re welcome. And that concludes the end of my Gym’s challenge. Thank you for tuning in and stay tuned for next week’s episode for Kabu’s Gym in Motostoke!” Nessa winked at the camera and waved. 
“And, cut! Great job, everyone!”
--
“2 minutes…” Phil grumbled, a bit tipsy from having too much wine.
“Geez, are you still hung up on that?” Juliet groaned through mouthfuls of chocolate cake. Nessa kindly offered them a VIP reservation for the famous seafood restaurant in the seaside town, and they ate to their heart’s content as the evening sky settled in. Nessa swirled the champagne in her glass and remembered the conversation from the shoot.
“Oh, that reminds me. Juliet, you said you wanted to be a Pokemon Coordinator when you were younger, right? Do you still have that desire?”
“Hmmm...Not really. I love watching Pokemon Coordinators perform but I don’t think I could ever be one.”
“And why’s that? You probably don’t like dressing up fancy, huh?” Tessu teased.
“That’s part of it, yeah. But, the life of being under the spotlight all the time sounds...more trouble than it’s worth.”
“I think every celebrity feels that way, whether they can stand it or not,” Nessa started. “As a Gym Leader and model, you never really know what people will say to you especially when it’s coming out of the media’s mouth. Being a celebrity is a double-edged sword; the higher you go, the harder you fall.”
She made a strong point. It’s a blessing to have a place in the world where you’re loved by people, but that adoration can turn sour when their perception of you doesn’t align with the decisions you make. Expectations grow bigger, the love from fans grow more intense - one slip up could make you lose it all. For Raid Prism, even with their presence on social media, their audience continues to grow as they keep up with their jobs for the Gym Challenge, and they would be lying if they said they didn’t notice the few comments calling them sell-outs that slowly trinkled at the start of the Gym Challenge. Luckily, positives far outweigh the negatives so it hasn’t gotten to the point where any of them have started to doubt themselves.
Still, it was still naive to even rely on assurance like that - because you start to think that nothing could possibly go wrong. 
“I mean...We’re technically under the spotlight too. Granted, I’ve never really been stopped by fans or had to put on a disguise.” Vanquil thought out loud. 
“It would be nice if things stay as they are. The fame is nice but I don’t want our privacy to be compromised.” Mary added quietly. 
“I think it’s a bit too late to have second thoughts.” I would know, Juliet thought with a dry chuckle. 
“There’s a lot to worry about, but the most you can do is keep being yourselves and do what you love. Whether people stay or leave, there’s only so much you can do.” Nessa admitted honestly. “The true fans are the ones who love you for you, not for what they want you to be.”
“That’s reassuring coming from you, Nessa.”
“I’m glad. I also think you guys should talk to Raihan. Out of all the Gym Leaders, he has the biggest audience and online experience so he probably knows what you’re going through.”
“Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed. He always looks relaxed and easy-going.” Vanquil said.
“In the stadium, he’s a storm to be reckoned with, but he’s just a regular person with feelings just like you and me.” Nessa drank the less of her champagne and looked at the time on her Rotom phone. “Ahh, I should get going. Feel free to stay as long as you like and I’ll remind the restaurant to charge the bill on my tab.”
“Thank you for treating us, Nessa. Have a good night!” 
Once Nessa was out of sight, Tessu poked the passed out body of Phil, who was slumped over the table and snoring loudly. “What should we do about Phil?”
“He can crash in my room for the night.” Vanquil got up from his seat and pulled Phil’s body up to sling his arm around his shoulder. “Oof, I might need some help though.”
--
“Mhm. Yeah. I got it Chairman. I’ll be there bright and early. Yeah, you too.” The moment Leon hung up the phone and entered his penthouse suite, he let out a whole week’s worth of sighs that he didn’t realize he was bottling up. He carelessly tossed his phone on his bed before jumping into the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. 
The hot water didn’t do much to wash away his brooding thoughts, though.
After slipping on a pair of shorts and not bothering to put on a shirt, he flopped onto his king sized bed that was tad too big even for him. 
Even if he was Galar’s ‘King’. 
He just wanted to fall asleep as quickly as he could, but his persistent thoughts wouldn’t allow it. He opened up Chatoter to see what his co-workers and friends were up to while ignoring the notifications that flooded his inbox. After scrolling and liking Raihan’s 10th selfie, he opened up his text messages out of desire to talk to someone. 
Anyone. 
Just as he was about to bug Raihan, an incoming call came in, making him fumble with his phone clumsily from surprise. 
It was Juliet.
He ignored the way his heart leaped and promptly answered the call. “Hello?”
“Hey Champ! It’s Juliet. Hope you don’t mind me checking in on you to see how you’re doing.”
“No, I don’t mind. I…” He sighed into the phone. “I was actually in the mood to talk to someone.”
“Rough day?”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
“Were you going to talk to Raihan or Sonia? Sorry for bugging you! I’ll hang up now-”
“No, wait! It’s OK. I don’t mind if it’s you.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“I see. Alright, go make yourself some tea then.”
“Ugh, but I’m already comfortable in bed.” He made a point by rolling on his stomach and burying his face in his pillow, muffling his voice, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“You’ll feel even better once you drink tea IN bed. Go on. I’ll wait.”
How stubborn. 
But, Leon couldn’t say not to a hot cup of tea to relax. He put the call on hold while he went into his kitchen to make the tea before returning and setting the mug of tea on his night stand. He put the call on speaker and picked up the mug, already feeling relaxed from the pleasant smell of the tea and how the warmth of the cup seeped into his hands.
“I’m back.”
“Welcome back. Got the tea? Literally and figuratively?”
He snorted. “What are you, Raihan? And yes, I do. Whether I have it figuratively, I’ll let you decide.”
“Cool. Take a few sips and talk whenever you feel like it.”
“OK…” Leon took a few cautious sips of the tea, before letting out another sigh. “I don’t know if it’s just me but...it feels like Chairman Rose is giving me more appointments and meetings than usual. He keeps being vague about this ‘big project’ he has in the works and maybe that’s why he’s giving me more work. I just…” He took a long sip. His next sigh sounded frustrated. 
“I just hope that everything I’m doing is enough. If my work is going towards a good cause, then good. But, even when I think that, it doesn’t erase the fact that I’m stressed and tired…” 
“Leon…” He heard a bit of shuffling before Juliet spoke again. “What drives you to work so hard?”
“What drives me?”
“Yeah. Don’t think about the fact that you’re working for someone else. What motivates you to get up every morning, to take on the day even if you know you’ll be exhausted at the end of the day?”
“I guess...Knowing that I’ll be providing for my mum, my grandparents, and Hop.” 
“And, what about you? What do you want to achieve for yourself?”
“I...I want to give the people of Galar strength. Hope. Inspiration that they can do whatever it is they want to do if they put in the hard work. If I didn’t work hard, if I wasn’t strong, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“And how do you think you’re progressing with that goal?”
“Doesn’t my 13 year-long winning streak answer that?”
“I suppose, but, is inspiring strength from your wins the message you want to give?”
“...What do you mean?”
“Do you want to be remembered as a Champion for how many years you’ve held the title, or do you want to be remembered as Champion for something more? It seems like the title of ‘Unbeatable’ is weighing you down more than you think.”
Leon’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe you’re right…”
“Or, maybe I’m wrong. The culture of Champions here in Galar is a lot different to other regions so perhaps what I’m saying is easier said than done. But...Take a step back to think about what it is you want to do.13 years is a long time to be working under someone else’s orders when you’re the star of the region.”
“...I’ve never really thought of it like that. I didn’t realize how much I’ve been following someone else’s orders this whole time. So much of it is being the face of all these brands and products but...That’s not who I want to be.” But, where would he even start? If the system isn’t broken, why bother fixing it? He doubted that Rose would just drop everything they’ve spent over a decade building, to let Leon take matters into his own hands. It wasn’t like he had any business experience either. 
However, finally recognizing that he was misguided in what he wanted to achieve, it gave him certainty that he still believed and valued his goals. 
“Sounds like you have an idea of what you need to do.”
“I do, but now it’s a matter of how to bring it up to Rose…”
“You’ve worked with him for so long that I’m sure he recognizes you as an adult who is  capable of making your own decisions, no?”
“Yeah. I’m definitely tired of all this hand-holding and being a pushover...Thank you, Juliet.”
“For what?”
“Don’t be cheeky, you know exactly what you did.”
“Hehe, got me there. But, really, all I did was ask you questions that got you to verbalize what you’ve been feeling. You had the answer all along. I just helped you pull it out.”
“Even then, I’m grateful that you did. I feel a lot better now.”
“Eh, that might just be the tea talking.”
“Stop deflecting my gratitude.” Leon chuckled lightly. 
“OK, OK. You’re very welcome, Leon. I’ll be here to lend an ear if you need it. And...if anything ever goes wrong, you have friends and family who will always believe in you. The life of a Champion sounds lonely, but it doesn’t have to be.”
Ba-bump
“...Thank you. Really. I know I’m a busy man but, you can rely on me too, you know? I might not give advice as good as yours but, I want to be there for you too.”
“Heh, thanks, Leon. I’ll keep that in mind. Finish up your tea and get some rest, OK?”
“I will. I’ll talk to you again soon?”
“Anytime, Leon. Good night!”
“Night.” Hanging up the phone, Leon let out a relaxed sigh - a contrast to the frustrated sighs he was letting out earlier. He got up from his bed to look out at the city life of Wyndon below. It was a beautiful view, but it reminded him of all the people who were still working their hardest even at night, while he was in the comfort of his penthouse suite. He had so many privileges and opportunities that many people dream to have, which made him all the more determined to be someone more than just a face on billboards and magazines. 
He was better than that. Or, at least, he wanted to be better than that. 
He replayed the phone conversation in his head, finding comfort in Juliet’s words. She was always so honest and welcoming towards other people’s feelings.
It made it easy for him to connect with her, from all those years ago…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Memory Chapter I: Lavaridge Hospitality
“My, what a wonderful inn!”
“Look, mommy! Are those the hot springs?”
“It looks like it, Hop. Wait! Don’t take your clothes off here!”
“I got him, mum.” Lee pulled his brother’s shirt back over his torso and threw him over his shoulders despite Hop thrashing about in protest. He sighed inwardly. This wouldn’t be a very relaxing vacation if he had to keep an eye on his hyperactive brother 24/7. Grabbing his suitcase with his free hand, he followed his mother through the sliding doors of the inn and were greeted by a kind middle-aged woman in a white robe. She wore a silver name tag with ‘Tiffany’ etched into it.
“Welcome to the Lavaridge Inn! Do you have a reservation?”
“Yes. We have a reservation for three under Holly from Postwick in Galar.” Holly replied. Tiffany nodded, typing away on her computer and confirming the reservation and the room number. She raised her head and looked between her two sons.
“And just to confirm that the reservation is for two adults and one child?”
“Yes. My eldest son is 16 and my youngest son is 8.”
“Alright. One moment, please.” Tiffany picked up a small bell and rang it back and forth, summoning a young teenager with black hair tied up into a single braid, and bright cobalt blue eyes. She also wore the same white robe the woman wore, minus any sort of name tag. She bowed her head respectfully to the guests and regarded them with a small, yet relaxed smile. 
“Good afternoon.” She greeted politely.
“My niece will show you to your room. She’ll fill you in on the details and if you have any questions, we’ll be more than happy to answer them.”
“Please follow me.” Following the teenager down hallways of similar looking sliding doors, Lee’s eyes twitched knowingly. He was definitely going to get lost in this place. He was already a bit disoriented from the long flight and no doubt jet lag was going to come at him at full force in the next few hours. This was his first time travelling outside of Galar so he didn’t know what to expect. Honestly, the concept of going on a vacation or even just relaxing was a bit taboo for him because of how busy he was. It was a little sad but he really wanted to make most of it since his mum made a bit of a scene in front of Chairman Rose to give him a break for once. He must have been so distracted by the maze of hallways and his wandering thoughts that he didn’t realize he wasn’t following his family anymore. 
First day of vacation and he already got lost. Great.
“Um.”
He whipped his head to see the teenager who was guiding them. Heat crept up on his cheeks and he bashfully looked to the side while rubbing the side of his neck. “S-Sorry. I tend to get lost.”
The girl stifled a giggle behind her white sleeve. “It happens. The decor here is pretty repetitive looking so I don’t blame you.”
“Right...Wait. What’s your name?”
“My name?”
“Yeah. You’re not wearing a name tag like your aunt is.”
“...Call me J.”
“J? That’s it?”
“Is that weird?” She asked, looking slightly offended.
“No! I mean,” Why was he getting so worked up? Jet lag, that must be it. He ran a hand through his purple hair and sighed lamely. “Sorry. The long plane ride is making me act weird.”
J shot him a sympathetic smile. “I’m just messing with you. Let’s get you to your room so you can rest up.” Walking back through the halls of the inn, she shot him a glance behind her every so often to make sure he didn’t stray away again. She might as well get his name (or alias) if she told him hers.
“What should I call you?”
“Le-” Lee started before abruptly shutting his mouth into a tight line. Right. Being in a different region meant that people were likely not to know who he was. Which meant he didn’t have to worry about being bombarded with questions, or autograph requests. He could go about his vacation as a normal citizen and not an undefeated Champion with a six year unbreakable streak. Still...There was the off chance that someone might look him up if people here knew his name.
Unless there were other Leons out there.
“You can call me Lee. That’s what my brother calls me.”
“Lee, huh?” She almost sounded suspicious when she echoed his name back at him.
“Is that weird?” He parroted back her earlier comment. J rolled her eyes.
“No. Of course not.”
--
Lee got lost. Again. He thought taking a nap would help clear his head and revitalize his energy, but waking up in a different environment only made him feel more groggy. His mother left him a note by his bedside, letting him know that if she and Hop were gone by the time he woke up, they would be in the dining hall. He wandered aimlessly, until he managed to spot J putting towels in a laundry cart around the corner.
“Hey, J.”
“Hello, Lee. Did you sleep OK?”
“Ahh...Still a bit jet lagged.”
“Is that so? I suggest taking a bath after dinner and going straight to bed. Our hot springs are therapeutic for a good night’s sleep.” J tilted her head and noticed that he was on his own again, just like earlier. She couldn’t help but shoot him a playful grin. “Though, you’re on the opposite end of where the dining hall is.”
“Ugh...Seriously?”
“Hey, cheer up. I have an idea. Odin!” She called out. After a moment of silence, the pattering feet of a Pokemon grew louder until a Pikachu ran towards them and leaped into J’s arms. “This is Odin. One of my Pokemon. If you ever get lost, just call out to him and tell him where you need to go. Odin, this is Lee. Help him out when he calls for you, OK?”
Odin looked at Lee curiously and nodded eagerly before striking an eccentric pose. Leon chuckled at the Pokemon’s silliness. “Thanks for the help, Odin. Do you mind showing me where the dining hall is?”
The Pikachu jumped out of his trainer’s arms and scurried down the end of the hall, turning around to wave his paw at Lee. “Pika pika pi!”
“You better follow him or he’ll leave you behind.” J mused, going back to the task at hand. Lee looked between the mountain of towels and back at her. Was it really OK to leave all this work to one person? Looking more closely, he could see the tiredness in her blue eyes and the sweat that was collecting on her forehead.
“...Do you need help?”
“Huh?”
“That looks like a lot of work for one person.”
“Oh.” She laughed nervously and waved him off. “Don’t worry about me, Lee. This is my last task for the day. You better catch up with Odin and your family.”
“OK...Take it easy when you’re done.” And with that he took off after the Pokemon, leaving J on her own with the laundry. Even though she couldn’t see his retreating back anymore, her eyes remained transfixed at the empty hallway.
She huffed to herself, amused by the strange, but considerate guy.
--
“Good morning, auntie. What are my tasks for the day?”
“Good morning, sweetie! You actually have no tasks today.”
“...Eh?” J looked blankly at her aunt. Did she not do a good job yesterday? Was she being replaced by someone who could do her job better? Her hands started to sweat from the theories swirling in her head, to which her aunt laughed lightly at the shock on her face.
“Stop over-thinking, young lady. Juliet, if some of the work is too much, you’re supposed to let me know.”
“But, it’s not too much!”
“Really? The son of one of our guests, Lee I believe, told me that you looked tired while you were doing the laundry. So, I’m giving you the next few days off to rest and relax.” Her aunt’s eyes softened. “I know how hard you’re working, sweetie, but you need to give yourself a break every now and again. You know I would never think less of you if you needed some time to recharge.”
J swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t be mad at her aunt, nor Lee. They were only looking out for her, which was something she was still trying to accept thanks to the weight of insecurities that made accepting help, hard. Her aunt reminded her time and time again that she didn’t have to help out at the inn since this was technically her foster home, and therefore, she could do whatever she wanted. But, it’s for that reason that made her want to repay her aunt’s kindness and love. She wasn’t quite over the feeling of worthlessness so this was her way of coping with it as well. She sighed in defeat. “Alright. I’ll take it easy on my days off. But, if you need any help-”
“Juliet.”
“...Yes, ma’am.”
“Good girl. Now, go have breakfast with Courtney and our other guests.”
J bowed her head before excusing herself out of her aunt’s office. A few days off...How was she going to pass all of that time? Maybe she’ll spend the day at the Cycling Road and relax by the beach in Slateport City. Upon entering the dining room, Courtney enthusiastically waved her over to the table where she was sitting at.
“Good morning, big sis!”
“’Morning, Courtney.” She playfully ruffled her cousin’s bangs before grimacing at the maple syrup that covered her mouth and dripped down her chin. “Geez, are you eating pancakes or drinking maple syrup from the jug?”
“I’m eating pancakes but I put extra maple syrup! Don’t tell mom.”
“Oh, I’m definitely telling her.”
“Nooooo!”
“Alright, alright. I won’t tell her. But, at least clean your mouth so she can’t tell.” J lightly scolded. She went over to the open buffet and piled eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit on her plate before sitting next to her bubbly cousin. She listened idly to her babble on and on about the children's shows that she watched the other day, making occasional noises of acknowledgement as she ate her breakfast.
“Who was the boy you were talking to?”
“Hm? What boy?”
“Purple hair, yellow eyes, baseball hat? I saw him talking to you while you were working. Ohhh! Is he your boyfriend?”
If she could roll her eyes to the back of her head, she would. J groaned and slapped a hand over her face. Sometimes a child’s curiosity was nothing but trouble. “Courtney, sometimes people are just having a normal conversation.”
“But, he was blushing!”
“He was just embarrassed because he got lost.”
“...Oh.”
J was definitely going to do a few laps at the Cycling Road because of this conversation. Putting away her empty dish and thanking the servers, she went back to her room in search of her biking gear. It had been awhile since she went to the Cycling Road that she couldn’t find her gear from the drawers she sifted through.
“Dang it. Where are they? I don’t want to pay a fee to rent some out.” She turned to her closet and searched through the cardboard boxes until finally recognizing the straps of her helmet and knee caps that were buried underneath a bunch of nick knacks. Her breath got caught in her throat when she pulled them out, revealing what was hiding away at the very bottom of the box. A framed photo. Of her holding a trophy with her three Pokemon in frame, proudly smiling with her. J felt her chest tighten and her vision blur.
No. It was going to be OK. She left behind that life and things were different now. She piled all the junk she pulled, back into the box, burying the photo so she couldn’t see it anymore. She closed her eyes and held a hand over her chest.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“Pikachu?” She didn’t notice that Odin had crawled onto her lap until he called out for her. His ears were drooped, as if sensing his trainer’s anxiety. J smiled shakily and hugged him gently. He snuggled further into her arm and nuzzled his cheeks against hers.
“I’m OK. I found something that...brought back unpleasant memories. I’m going to the Cycling Road and then to the beach in Slateport City, wanna come?”
“Pika!”
--
“Ha...hah...” J braced herself on the handles of her bike, sweat pouring down her forehead. She reached for the water bottle strapped to her bike and chugged through half of its contents. Anything that she was worried about earlier was gone from her mind, the adrenaline pumping in her veins making her feel more euphoric than ever. Dropping off her rental bike, she walked down the path to Slateport City and basked in the sea breeze that cooled her sweat matted skin.
The beach was as crowded as ever, but it was a sight she could never get enough of. Seeing the happiness of people lounging on their towels or beach chairs, and splashing about in the water – it made her feel like all was right in the world and she could relax in peace.
“Big sis!”
Well, for the most part.
“Courtney?! What are you doing here by yourself?!”
“I’m not alone!” She pointed to where Lee and his family were resting along the beach. Holly lowered her sunglasses and waved the two girls down.
“Good afternoon! I hope you don’t mind that your cousin came with us to the beach.”
“Ah...I should be apologizing for that.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble! Your aunt told her that you would be here at the beach and since we were already planning on coming here, we let her come along.”
“Why didn’t you invite me?” Courtney pouted.
“Sorry, Courtney. I wanted to do some cycling first and you’re not old enough to use the Cycling Road yet.” J looked out to the ocean to see Lee and his brother shooting each other with water guns. Lee’s golden eyes lit up when he turned his head to see her and raised a hand to wave at her, only to be doused with a face full of water by his brother.
She snorted. “Looks like they’re having fun. Courtney, watch my stuff while I go change, will you?”
--
“That was so much fun!” Courtney squealed after removing her goggles and diving mouthpiece. “Your turn, baseball boy!”
“You saw him wearing a baseball hat once and that’s what you’re going to call him?”
“Haha, I don’t mind.” Lee jumped into the water next to J and her Swampert. She motioned him to strap on his goggles and gestured to the diving mouthpiece.
“Ever used one of these before?”
“I’m guessing this is what helps you breathe underwater?”
“Yup, but just make sure you’re only breathing from your mouth and not your nose.” Placing the device into her mouth, she shot him a thumbs up before handing him the reigns that were strapped around her Pokemon. She patted her Swampert three times and he slowly submerged into the water, bringing them both down with him.
Lee’s first instinct was to hold his breath, not quite familiar with the device that was in his mouth. J tapped him on the shoulder and gestured to him to relax. He took a few cautious breaths from the device and immediately relaxed when feeling air enter his lungs. He gave her a thumbs up, which encouraged her Swampert to start swimming through the depths of the ocean.
The further they swam away from the shoreline, the more Pokemon that swam passed them until they were practically swimming with schools of Goldeen, Horsea, Wailmers – and other water Pokemon that were native to Hoenn waters. Lee’s eyes widened in complete awe. Never in his life had he seen anything this breathtaking and beautiful back in Galar. This was nothing compared to swimming along the docks of Hulbury.
And this was only the beginning. He hadn’t even seen the reefs yet.
Not only were they vibrant and countless, they were home to so many species of Pokemon that he couldn’t even begin to count. Clamperls sat peacefully along the base of the reefs, Gorebyss and Huntails swam through the branches and anemone, and there was an abundance of Corsola that appeared a lot more pink and cheerful than the Corsola that were native to his region.
His heart sank a little from the observation.
Lee snapped out of his thoughts when he felt her frantically tap him on the shoulder. He looked up at what she was pointing at and nearly choked on his diving mouthpiece. A Wailord swam over them, casting a dark shadow over whatever was swimming underneath.
Holy crap, it was massive!
They waited for the Wailord to pass by before swimming back up to the surface. J removed her diving mouthpiece and smiled wide at Lee. “So, what do you think? Pretty incredible, right?”
“No kidding! Swimming alongside all of those Pokemon was...Man, I’ve never done that before! It was so cool!”
She giggled at his starry-eyed look. “Really? You can’t deep dive in your region?”
“Not that I know of. Galar isn’t really a region you go to for that kind of thing.”
“Galar, eh? I don’t think I’ve been there! What’s it like?”
“Well-”
“Luvdisc!!!” Their heads suddenly turned in the direction of the Pokemon’s cry. Both of their protective instincts kicked in, and they shared a look of mutual understanding before J commanded her Swampert to swim in the direction of the cry. They eventually came across a lone, baby Luvdisc, who was looking around worryingly for his pack.
“Hey, there. Are you lost?” J cooed gently. The Pokemon swam over to them and broke out into wails and cries, making her Swampert turn to her and nodded in confirmation. She took a quick look around, trying to find the tell-tale splash of pink on the ocean’s surface – a tell-tale indication of a Luvdisc pack.
“Lee, if you see anything pink on the ocean’s surface, let me know. That could be a Luvdisc pack.”
“Got it.”
J reached for the Pokeball hanging around her swim shorts and tossed it into the air, releasing her Flygon into the skies. “Tiki! Help us find this Luvdisc’s family!”
Lee reached for two Pokeballs strapped around his swim trunks and threw them up as well, freeing his ace Charizard and Aegislash. “You two help as well!”
--
The sun was beginning to set when J’s Swampert showed signs of becoming fatigue, to which she told him to relax and wait for their other Pokemon to return to them, hoping that they found something. Charizard and Tiki returned at the same time, shaking their heads sadly.
This wasn’t looking good. And the Luvdisc could tell.
“Luv...”
“Oh no, please don’t cry! Don’t worry! We’ll find your family!” Crap, she was going to start crying too at this rate. Leon anxiously waited for his Aegislash, and spotted it floating quickly over to them. The Pokemon motioned towards one direction before taking off.
“Just a little more, Hajime.” J encouraged him gently. Hajime huffed, but followed the Aegislash with Luvdisc in tow. As they came closer, multiple Luvdiscs surfaced, making the baby Luvdisc cry out gleefully and rush to his family’s side. The pack of Luvdisc surrounded the baby Pokemon, offering kisses, and what was probably a brief scolding, before turning to the group and crying out gratefully.
“You’re welcome!” J and Lee shouted back in unison. The baby Luvdisc quickly swam over to them, and gave them quick pecks on the cheek by leaping out of the water. Two Luvdiscs from the family approached them with something shiny on their body. Lee carefully reached out and plucked out two heart shaped scales from them.
“A thank you gift?”
“Looks like it. Thank you! Safe travels!” J waved to the pack. They dove back into the water, one by one. The baby Luvdisc gave them one final glance before following his family back into the ocean.
--
“What took you guys so long?!”
“We thought something bad happened!!”
J and Lee had their heads lowered in shame, as Holly comforted both Courtney and Hop against either side of her while they cried out about how worried they were. Holly looked at Leon with narrowed eyes. “Lee. Did you forget about what we talked about before we left?”
“No...I didn’t, mum. I’m sorry-”
“Wait! It’s not just his fault! We should have let you know where we were and what we were doing. But...We didn’t want to leave a baby Pokemon on their own.” J interrupted. Lee looked at her with surprise. She didn’t have to defend him or shoulder the blame. She met his gaze and gave him an empathetic smile. He answered with a gentle grin of his own and mouthed a ‘thanks’. Holly looked between the two teenagers and sighed exasperatedly. They were only trying to do a good thing and for that, she couldn’t be mad at either of them.
“...I understand. But, next time, if you have to go off somewhere for some reason, please let us know. It would break our hearts if something happened.”
“Yes, ma’am...”
“Good. Now, let’s pack up and head back to the inn.”
--
The walk back was uncomfortably quiet. It seemed like Hop and Courtney didn’t quite forgive them yet, opting to give them the cold shoulder as an added measure to prove how upset they were. It was very much deserved, from J and Lee’s perspective.
But, at the same time, Lee couldn’t help but feel...a little nostalgic by the punishment. Ever since becoming Champion, he spent years being molded into a perfect role model for the people of Galar; he had forgotten what it felt like to make mistakes. He couldn’t exactly afford to. He still remembered the mistakes he made before then, though. How his mother would scold him for not sharing his toys or for switching the channel to something he wanted to watch.
It felt strange to admit that making mistakes felt...good. Enlightening. He was still rather young, and yet he was expected to act that of a 25+ year old at 16. He was going to cherish this vacation while it lasted – where he can just be himself for two weeks in a region where no one knew who he was or where he came from.
He looked over to J, remembering the way she was in tune with him in deciding to help the baby Luvdisc, and how she shouldered the blame with him. He thought it was his responsibility to bear the weight of burdens to lighten the load of everyone else, but to have someone step in to take off some of that weight, it made him feel lighter and more free.
There was still a lot he didn’t know about her, but from the little that he did gather from their interactions, he was grateful for her helpful attitude and considerate spirit.
In his heart, he wanted to be her friend. 
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softcoregamer · 3 years
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DRAGON QUEST XI S: ECHOES OF AN ELUSIVE AGE - DEFINITIVE EDITION
I've never played a Dragon Quest game before, so all I had to go on with this game was the pretty looking graphics and charming character art by the Dragonball guy, which- combined with having a hankering for a JRPG, a genre I haven't played since probably the Digital Devil Saga games (minus an abandoned most-of-the-way-done playthrough of SMT3 and a partial of one of the Megadimension Neptunias) was enough to sell me on it. I'm having a tough time determining if it was worth it.
(spoilers)
The story starts off very weak. Your glowing hand marks you as the chosen one, you have to collect glowing orbs to defeat the dark lord. It's like the story of a generic videogame you'd see in the background of a movie. They do throw in a little novelty to keep you on your toes- you present yourself to the king and he throws you in the dungeon, you go back to your hometown and travel back in time for some reason- but I really never warmed to the setting. It's just a collection of cliches and cute gimmicks, like the town of people who speak in haikus, the town of people who speak in rhyming couplets (you're stuck with these people for the bulk of the exposition at the start of act 2, which is a nightmare) and the town of- ugh- Italians. There's no sense of these places being places. It's just a nice pleasant fairytale kingdom of the kind that's normally mentioned in Snow White or whatever as the place the handsome prince comes from, except here you spend dozens of hours trudging through it looking for glowing tree roots and orbs. The big problem in Gallopolis is that the sultan's son isn't brave enough for god's sake. Acts 2 and 3 pick things up, and there's some neat reveals- I like that the lil red star you've been seeing in the sky right from the start was the stain of the original hero's failure to slay the villain, literally hanging over the entire setting all this time. Also the annoying act 1 scene where you get handed the name of the villain and an orb quest in an exposition dump is retroactively improved by the fact that the exposition isn't quite correct. Act 3 reintroducing time travel and actually being thoughtful about it was welcome as well, but sadly that has the effect of making you redo story points you already did since, logically, you're back in time to where you haven't done them yet. Sometimes this comes across as getting a do-over to get a more positive outcome for something that previously ended more tragically, in keeping with the way time travel is explained in-universe as essentially reloading an earlier save (and, as revealed in the end, continuing in a separate save slot). The 8th party member's act 3 quest is a standout here. In reading discussion of the game I've seen people insist on referring to this character as 8, presumably to preserve the plot twist of his existence, so I guess I'll do it too. But more often than not, act 3 quests consist of just doing the same stuff as act 2 again, in a somewhat more curt manner. This sticks in the craw after so much of act 2 already consisted of just doing the same stuff as act 1 again. The party members aren't much better, for the most part. The first three people you meet all say "ah, you're the Luminary, I was sent to help you" and there isn't much to them beyond that for a long time. Sylvando has a lot of personality, which is probably partly why he's become the game's big meme character, but it gets grating and he is insanely trite. The Dark Lord takes over the world and purges the unclean, and Sylvando's overriding concern is that he wants people to laugh and smile more. It's like he takes advantage of the fact that I need him for his boat to get my goat by acting like a fucking teletubby. Things pick way up when you meet Rab, and the 8th party member is genuinely really good. Even the early-game party members end up having their moments (Erik's backstory was pretty fun) but the game really doesn't put its best foot forward with these characters. Not that it needs to; for the first few I was just glad to be getting some help in combat. The combat is excellent in this game, when it gets going. I played with the "draconian quest" tougher enemies mode on, and I turned it off right at the act 2 end boss. The difficulty curve flowed really well this way, with act 3 enemies not feeling noticeably less tough than "draconian" act 2 enemies. The abilities and spells you get are carefully balanced so that it's very difficult to put together a perfect 4-person party, you're always missing something. This means the fact that you can change your line-up midfight isn't just a nice quality of life feature, it's a potentially vital mechanic. They tread a fine line where sometimes needing to swap people out during the battle doesn't mean the characters themselves feel useless; everyone is capable of some extremely tough stuff. And on the other end of the scale, enemy damage is heavy enough that buffing your attack and using big-damage abilities vs healing or defending can be a properly difficult choice; a heavy hit or a big heal at the right time can turn the tide of an entire battle, as can your big hitter suddenly getting put to sleep or your healer getting knocked out. Again, this is all with the caveat that I had "draconian quest" on for the first 2/3 of the game, from what I've heard combat without it is insanely easy. My big gripe with the combat is that there's very little in the way of tooltips. What's this enemy's magic resistance? Does my Sap have a better chance of landing if I up my Magical Might, or does that just increase spell damage? Does Oomphle affect Quadraslash? If I increase my agility will it go up by enough that I can take my turn ahead of these enemies? Does agility even do that? Does using abilities and spells mean I go later in the turn order vs generic attacks and defending? You just have to guess at all this; the wiki has some info on enemy stats but I don't know where they're getting it from other than datamining. There's an entire bestiary with almost no useful information which is functionally just a model viewer for all 700+ enemies. The only way to know anything is to experiment, which I guess at least adds some purpose to combat when you've filled out the bestiary for an area but still have to grid encounters- which will be required at some point, because fighting is the only way you get xp and money. There is also too much RNG. Critical hits being rare and certain attacks having a chance to cause Confusion or whatever is fine (although I'd prefer for attacks which are labelled as having a chance to inflict status effects to actually inflict the status effect way more often than they do) but why the fuck does the resurrection spell have a 50% success rate? Under what possible circumstances would I be using that spell other than needing my dead teammate back right now? Same for all the abilities on the skill tree that say "doesn't connect very often, but when it does it can cause a critical hit" OK that "CAN" is telling me that this ability which doesn't often connect won't even necessarily crit if it does. Why would I choose this ability? To handicap myself? How is this going to help me defeat the Timewyrm? All that said, when the combat is good it's really good, and whenever I lose a fight I'm thinking "I can win that next time if I do XYZ". The 2D battles are much less fun because the pace is much slower and there are no cute animations to liven it up, but it's always satisfying when the "flash" of an enemy taking damage becomes the "flash" of them disappearing, and you know you have slayed yet another blob. Non-combat gameplay is a mixed bag. The early-game fun of running around looking for new enemies to fight and fill out the bestiary wears off hard once act 2 begins and everything is either a reskin or a glowing-eyes "vicious" version of something you've already fought, and many maps are fairly sparse with just the odd treasure chest and locked door to liven up your path to the next area. That said, there are also several areas and dungeons which make a minigame out of traversing them; the Eerie Eyrie and the Battleground were standouts for me. Especially the remixed version of Eerie Eyrie you go to later on, where you get a flying mount to ride around. Crafting is surprisingly involved, with a whole minigame around it and hundreds of recipes to find all over the place. In most cases you can just use money in lieu of ingredients, which means minimal farming is required to get a lot out of the system, and the recipes with ingredients that can't be bought feel special instead of bullshit. In terms of items and recipes there really is a deluge of content- there are recipe books all over the place, with new ones available even in the last couple of maps that open up in the entire game, and there's an undeniable cookie-clicker rush you get from getting better at crafting and taking something you could barely get to +1 all the way to +3. I play games like this as a magpie, accumulating items with nice pictures and effects that make me do a 😲 face, and DQ11 certainly delivers. This even extends to character advancement, with Hidden Goodies incentivizing picking skills you might not want otherwise, and entire new skill trees opening up as quest rewards.
Overall, DQ11 is a good combat system with loot and progression systems that are well-executed enough to feel rewarding after 100 hours, all wrapped up in a style and tone that is not up my alley at all. A good litmus test for how much you'd like the game is probably: watch this scene and if you think it's the most epic thing you've ever seen then Dragon Quest 11 is for you.
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angelicspaceprince · 4 years
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Youtuber!Beetlejuice Headcanons Part 2
I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but my Youtuber!Beej hcs have gotten almost 200 notes in like under a day (thatsalsocountingthespamjustballoonfishthingsdidbutanyway) and I promised a part two once I reached 100 so. Here we are.
Part 1
Tagging: @justballoonfishthings, @broadwaytrashstrikesagain, @imma-fucking-nerd
You have figured something wasn’t quite normal with Beetlejuice long before the two of you started dating
For one, he always ate just really weird shit
Bugs, glass, wood, paper, rat poison on one occasion and just constantly eating tide pods
At first you’d panic but as time went on, you figured it was all a prank and it was just sugar made to look like inedible stuff
Would explain his hyperactivity and why he always seemed to just need to Move
But when you eventually started spending more and more time at his and filming your videos at the Deetz’s who were his family but also not apparently, the more you realised
No there was some fucked up shit happening
The amount of times he just....took a glass from the cupboard and started munching, or just took one of Adam’s model houses and slammed the whole thing in his mouth or found a random beetle and just. Fucken ate the sucker
It was terrifying
But according to Lydia, he has a really strong stomach and he won’t die from eating literal poison as he downs a bottle of weed killer
You just watched and decided
Ok. Fine. I can handle this
Then there was the hair. On camera, you thought it was a trick of the light because during the con, his hair was a permanent green with occasionally the tips being pink, but that could be hair chalk
But at home, his hair changed constantly, on its own, according to his mood
Perhaps it was a type of hair dye that changes colour depending on body temperature
Ignoring the fact that his hair is very much, for the most part, away from his scalp
But more small things started to happen. Like how he could just disappear and reappear at random, at first you thought it was ninja skills. But then it became ‘no this is physically impossible for him to be here so quickly’
Once, you swore you saw him levitate
His total lack of regard for danger too, it just all slowly started to add up that perhaps there was more to this story than everyone was letting on
The kicker was when you literally caught him sitting on the ceiling to entertain Lydia
It wasn’t the ceiling part that got you, although that was creepy
It was the fact he was slowly turning his head a full 360 degrees
You booked it out of there, rushing past the concerned Maitlands and the Deetz’s and out the front door, all the way back to your house
Beetlejuice kept blowing up your phone with voice messages, his preferred way to text ‘You ok babes?’ ‘Adam said you looked like you’d seen a ghost!’ ‘Please message me?’ ‘Babes, seriously, are you ok? Everyone’s worried.’ ‘Are we through? Are you ghosting me?’ ‘Very mature Y/N. Call me when you decide you want to be an adult.’ ‘Please. Please at least text me. I’ll get Lydia to read it out! Just. Don’t ignore me, please babes.’
The last one sounded so broken but you ignored it
What the FUCK was that?
You could feel the panic brewing in your gut as the vision played again and again in your brain
Maybe you imagined it? No, there was no way that you thought this up
When you finally collect yourself, you text Lydia
‘What the FUCK was that with Beetlejuice?’ 
Minutes passed before you got a response, simply a question mark.
‘His head was rotating like a fucking owl Lydia!’
Almost instantly, your phone started buzzing with Beetlejuice trying to call you
You hesitate over the ignore button, but figured that it was best to hear the excuse from the man himself.
You press accept
“Babes! Are you alright?” He shouts down the phone, clearly concerned.
“What. The. Fuck.” Is all you get out, anxiety now turning into rage. “What the fuck was that? How the fuck? Beetlejuice, I could accept that perhaps you had this weird biology thing which meant you could eat weird shit, and perhaps you could decide to be light on your feet when usually I can hear you coming towards me a mile off, but what. Was. That?” You spew out in one large rush.
There is a pause, you can feel him thinking
“Say my name three times.” He begs
“What?” The change of subject confused you enough that the anger pretty much all but disappeared. “Is this a hypnosis thing?”
“No!” His protest is loud as he struggles to remain composed. “Look, just. It’s hard to explain. Just say my name three times, it’s gotta be spoken, unbroken ok? Just say my name three times in a row.”
You blink but decide to entertain him.
“Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.”
“One more time. Please babes.”
“Beetlejuice.”
Suddenly, with a loud pop, he was there. In front of you. Still holding his phone. His hair was blue and purple, which you came to realise was sad and scared. He quickly hangs up and just stares at you as you process what just happened.
“What. Ok. I’m losing my mind.” You finally decide. “Stress, I have too busy a schedule, I’m just stressed.” You flinch when his hands move to grab your shoulders
“No babes, it’s me.” He hesitates for a second before taking a breath. “I’m dead.” “You’re gonna be.” “No, I mean now. I’m the ghost with the most. Dead.”
You blink before mouthing the words ‘dead’. “I need to see a shrink, clearly I’m psychotic.”
Beetlejuice groans. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I was scared you were gonna run off and. Well. I didn’t want that.” His hand moves to cup your cheek, thumb running at the skin under your eyes gently. “But this is real, and I’m still real, even if I’m a dead guy.”
“Hence the glass and bugs and rotating head.” He nods.
“It’s not all I can do, but it’s some of it.”
You poke his chest, causing him to push back slightly before sighing. “Is there anything else I need to know?”
He looks at you confused. “You’re not dumping me?” You raise an eyebrow
“I moved halfway across the country to be closer to you. You’re still the same dumbass I fell in love with, the one with Mommy issues who loves it when people during out livestreams spend the entire time gushing over how lucky I am to have you, because it gives you an excuse to say that you’re the lucky one that I chose you. Still the dumbass who laughs during horror flicks because its so unrealistic and claims to be best pals with the Mothman and is addicted to Buzzfeed Unsolved and wants to do a collab with them. I’m not dumping you. You hid this from me for a reason and I’m just glad that you’ve told me now. But, as I said.” You make eye contact for the first time since you saw his head spin around his body like a Beyblade. “Is there anything else I need to know?”
“I tried to marry Lydia in an attempt to become alive but she killed me shortly after, Delia gave me the ok to kill a man and I’m pretty sure Charles has come close to murdering me too, but we are all friends now. Also, the Maitlands are also ghosts.” He gets it out in one long breath. You just stare at him.
“Is everyone in that house dead?” “No, just me and the Maitlands.” “Lydia looks like she might be dead.” “She is on the inside.”
You nod as the shock slowly goes through your system. “You tried to marry a teenager?” “It was a green card thing!” He protests. “And, and, and! I had a full blown panic attack because breather emotions are evil and that teenager stabbed me!” “I think she had a good reason Beej.”
It takes a little adjusting and a lot more questions, but you are more or less content with the whole thing, a month before you’d fully accepted it and five weeks before you finally processed the whole thing
You had a lot of questions for the Maitlands and when they told you the sort of person Beetlejuice was before he met you, it made sense compared to all the shit he had told you in confidence 
Still
Life goes on
And it turns out you have a dead youtuber for a boyfriend, who lives in a house with two other ghosts, a teen he tried to marry, a spiritual guide who asked him to murder her ‘guru’ named Kevin and one relatively normal guy
Tbh that’s a sitcom that you’d wanna watch.
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Text
The Art of Love: Chapter 12
Fandom: She Ra (2018)
Ship: Glimadora 
Summary: While Glimmer gets to spend some time with her mother, Angella, she gets a potentially disastrous text from Adora. 
Warnings (for this chapter): Food Mention, One reference to parental death, Some discussions of internalized homophobia (please tell me if anything needs to be added)
Genre: High School AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff
A/N: I have to say,,, this has turned out to be much slower of a burn than I originally expected but oh well, the story will do what it wants. I am so happy and excited to continue working on it. I have found such a sweet and wonderful community through this silly story and I hope you all know just how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Love you all 🖤✨
Ao3    The Art of Love Masterpost    Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info
A few hours and several hastily done homework assignments later, Glimmer sat across from her mother at the dinner table and quietly moved broccoli across her plate. It was her mom’s day off which meant they finally got the chance to spend time together. Unfortunately it also meant her mother felt obligated to cook dinner.
She glanced up to see her mother mirroring her actions, using her fork to bat at what Glimmer could only assume to be something that was- at one point or another- a vegetable.
Her mother wrinkled her nose as she looked up at Glimmer, “It’s not very good is it?”
Glimmer smiled, trying to lighten the blow, “It’s not... great, no.”  
Angella sighed, “Pizza again?”
“Well, I don’t know. This isn’t too inedible.”
She stuck her tongue out at Glimmer and laughed, “Stop teasing me! I’m trying my best!”
Her mother began moving to get up, presumably to order a pizza for the third week in a row, but Glimmer scrambled to get out of her chair first, “I’ll get it don’t worry!”
Glimmer had a hate/love relationship with having her mom finally home. She enjoyed being able to see her and rant about the stupid shit both of them had been forced to deal with. Their was a certain comfort in laughing until you’re crying with a person you know has the same sense of humor as you. On the flip side, that didn’t happen very often. At least, not anymore. It was far more common for Angella to laugh lightly, leaving Glimmer wondering where all the joy her mother used to hold had gone. She was tired. Work was hard and long and unpredictable; things would have been far easier if she wasn’t the only one bringing income into the household. Glimmer saw the stress it put on her mother- both physically and mentally- and wished she could do something to fix it all.
“Thank you, dear,” Glimmer could hear the relief in her mother’s voice and knew her legs must have been bothering her after standing on them all day.
“Yeah no problem, Mom,” Glimmer grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter and was about to dial the local pizza place when a notification flag caught her eye. The text came from a number unregistered in her contacts but she knew it well. Adora.
She could only see the first few words of the message:
Hey! I was wondering...
A thousand possible situations flashed across Glimmer’s mind- most of them revolving around the image of Elizabeth chattering away to Adora, casual as could be while she ripped apart Glimmer’s world.
And now Adora was texting her, probably asking why the hell Glimmer would ever possibly be foolish enough to crush on someone so out of her league. But she would never say anything like that; she would try to let Glimmer down easy. And it would hurt so much worse because Glimmer wouldn’t even have the comfort of hiding behind anger. It would all be soft words and sympathetic frowns and dull blades that did so much more damage than the one sweeping sword Glimmer wished Adora would reject her with, but knew she never would.
“Everything ok?” Angella called from the dining table, probably wondering why she hadn’t heard a sound when this was usually around the time Glimmer tried to sneak pineapple onto their order.
“Yeah, sorry! Got a little distracted!” Glimmer prayed her voice didn’t sound as strangled as felt in her throat.
“Well hurry up!! I’m hungry!”
Glimmer smiled at her mother’s playfully impatient tone before glaring down at the unopened notification.
She was tempted to throw her phone as far away from her as possible. Maybe into the garbage disposal at which time the switch would mysteriously flip on and the disposer would grind to life, ending all of Glimmer’s problems. On the other hand, she wanted pizza.
Glimmer paused for a second to think, bringing out all her customary mannerisms to do so- from chewing her lip to tapping her foot.
“Are you alright? Glimmer, is there really so much to be distracted by?”
Glimmer set her phone back on the counter face down and took a deep breath. She wasn’t ready to deal with whatever Adora was going to say. Or rather, had said and was now simply waiting for Glimmer to acknowledge. But Glimmer, in all her stubborn brilliance, decided she wasn’t going to acknowledge it. Not yet. Right now she was going to order some god damn pizza, attempt to sneak some pineapple onto it, and spend the rest of the night talking to her mom. The world owed her that much of a break.
She glanced over at her phone, its pastel rainbow case hardly representing the threat Glimmer felt it contained at the moment. All she had to do was was grab the phone and open the lock screen before she got a chance to read the message. Easy-peasy. She felt like a runner, coiled up at the starting line and ready to spring. She gave a small huff of a laugh. It’s just a text; you’re not trying to dodge bullets.
“Glimmer, what are you doing?”
“Yeah, Mom, sorry. I’m getting it now.”
“You’re not texting you friends are you?”
The irony very nearly got a legitimate laugh out of Glimmer, “No, Mom.”
She grabbed her phone, opened her lock with her thumbprint, and exhaled a breath she didn’t she had been holding. The message app held a red little bubble, trying to get her attention so she would answer the texts that had piled up since the last time she had checked. Glimmer knew at least four of them would be Bow, sending her memes. But one of them was Adora.
She shook her head. When it came down to it, she wanted pizza right now far more than she wanted any type of drama. Glimmer quickly pulled up her contacts, gave her usual order to one of the workers and walked back to the dining room; she left her phone in the kitchen.
Glimmer slid sideways into her chair, “So how was your day?”
Angella shrugged, “Pretty boring, really. Didn’t do much.”
“I mean that’s kinda the point of a day off,” Glimmer nodded as she spoke, trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of on the unopened message that waited for her on the kitchen counter. She felt guilty as her mind drifted away from what- no, who- she knew was more important. But it was like fighting an ocean’s tide; no matter how hard you grip the waves, they’re always going to pull away. And through her fingers, Glimmer’s attention would slip, always finding its way back to Adora.
It was beginning to be infuriating. The past few days had seemed completely centered around Adora. Every second Glimmer was getting a stomach ache over worrying about her or she was melting into some sad, pining puddle. Even when she managed to hold some composure, there was some nagging little feeling deep in the back of her mind that would eventually manage to bait and trap her focus. It was beginning to be ridiculous. This certainly wasn’t Glimmer’s first time having a crush, but she had never felt so trapped by her emotions before. It had never been this suffocating, so all-consuming. Anyways, she had more important things to be doing than daydreaming about something that was just that- a dream. But it was beginning to be unnerving. Because Glimmer didn’t know how to stop it.
“Hello there? Earth to Glimmer?”
“Hmm?” Glimmer snapped back to the present, scolding her mind for let her get so wrapped up in the middle of a conversation, “Hi. What were you saying?”
Her mom was smiling, “I was just asking how your day was, Miss Head in the Clouds.”
Glimmer pushed a smile onto her lips, “Oh, yeah I’m fine.”
Across the table, her mother’s eyebrows were pressed together, “You seem very tense.”
It was presented as a statement but Glimmer knew it was a question she was expected to answer.
“Really, I’m fine. I just have a big project right now and it’s... causing me some problems.” Well that’s not a lie.
“Oh?” Angella sat up a little, “What’s it on? What class is it for? What do you have to do?”
Her enthusiasm wasn’t contagious but it did hold a level of charm. Glimmer shook her head, “It’s not nearly as fun or exciting as you think it is. We just have to build a model of an element.”
“Wait is this for your chemistry class with that horrible teacher?” Glimmer’s mother jumped in, interrupting her with surprising passion, “What sort of problems are you having?”
Glimmer rolled her eyes, “Really, Mom, it’s no big deal. I’m... figuring it out, ok?”
Her mind flashed back to the time her mother had marched into the school’s front office- fuming and probably ready to physically fight someone- after Glimmer had complained about some idiots mocking her for being bi. It had been more infuriating than insulting or anything actually impactful. But Angella, in all of her attempts to be a supportive and protective mother, had decided to take matters into her own hands.
“And, uh, I don’t need any help.”
Her mother’s face fell in what Glimmer knew was disappointment, “Oh definitely. I’m sure you can handle it.”
“But if I need help, I’ll definitely tell you,” Glimmer tried.
Angella’s face brightened; it was nice to see her smile, “Ok!”
Silence settled between them. Angella let her eyes roam over Glimmer, studying her. It was obvious she was looking for something, mouth set and eyes slightly squinted. If anyone else had done it, Glimmer would have squirmed and snapped at them for even acknowledging her existence, let alone making her acknowledge it.
Glimmer just snorted though in response to her mother’s scrutiny, “Can I help you?”
Angella gave a tiny frown, “There’s something else going on. You have way too many thoughts floating around in your eyes for this just to be about a project.”
Glimmer shrugged and decided to focus on the easier subject of her plate instead of her mother. Her fork made a plink plink sound as she tapped it against the rim of her plate. It was almost funny to think she was so consumed by it all that apparently just her eyes gave it away. Just as strongly, it was disgusting to think she was so consumed by it, just her eyes gave it away. Even when she was trying to focus on something else, the thoughts in her head were loud enough to be heard by everyone around her.
Her mom’s frown deepened at Glimmer’s avoident answer, “Come on, what’s up?”
Glimmer looked up. Her mother’s warm brown eyes were searching her, concern written clearly on her face. It made a Glimmer wonder- if her mother was so easily readable- what her own face was displaying. What pining, sick to her stomach, completely hopeless novel she set down for people to see whenever they passed her.
Glimmer smiled sadly, if only for her mother’s beauty. She and Glimmer had dyed their hair together and the long pink strands drifted across her eyes and onto her shoulders. Her face was filled with determined warmth, trying to fix whatever was bothering Glimmer. But the creases between her eyebrows were far too deep and the frown on her face fit into place too comfortably. Glimmer didn’t want to add to those lines.
She waved her hand casually, “I’m just having some people problems.”
Her mother leaned forward, “What sort of people?”
Glimmer gave up. Maybe it would be better just to come clean, “Pretty people. There’s a girl in one of my classes that I kind of like.”
“Oh!” Glimmer couldn’t help but laugh at her mother’s genuinely surprised expression.
“What? You really thought my heart was so cold I couldn’t fall for someone?”
Angella opened and closed her mouth before speaking, “No, no it’s not that. That’s just not the type of problems you usually have. That’s almost, like, a normal problem.”
Glimmer rolled her eyes, “Wow, Mom, thanks. That’s not at all vaguely insulting.”
“That’s not what I meant! But that’s fun, isn’t it?” She had gained happy little light in her eyes and clapped her hands excitedly, “Tell me about her! Also a her? I mean, this is the first time you’ve told me about having a girl crush.”
Glimmer could feel her face flushing cherry red. There were so many open wounds her mother had bothered in just a few seconds of speech. Because, no, it wasn’t fun. It was overwhelming and terrifying and it had all hit so fast. It was like a tsunami- no warning and then boom the water was over Glimmer’s head and she was just struggling not to drown. And every time someone talked to her, they were assuming she was standing in the shallow end and just needed to remember how to swim. But swimming wasn’t going to help her now.
And it was intoxicating, all of her thoughts swarmed by emotions that buzzed and made it hard for any ideas to come through clearly. But it was addictive; she could let herself just float in that white noise for the rest of time. She could let herself sink beneath the waves and ignore her lungs as they screamed for air.
“Yeah,” Glimmer let the fork fall back to the plate and moved her hands to start fidgeting in her lap, “I think we’re both still getting used to the whole ‘girl’ thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, don’t you think it could be-“ Glimmer’s voice had risen in aggravation but cracked as she searched for a way to wrap all of her fears into one word, “Dangerous?”
“Glimmer, my darling, we live in a very accepting area- I know two whole lesbians at my job!! I think you’re overthinking it-“
Glimmer slammed the palm of her hand flat down on the tabletop, “Yes! I know! I do that! And people seem to think that telling me how ridiculous I’m acting will help! And guess what? It doesn’t. It doesn’t help in the slightest because maybe, just maybe, I’ll be right one of these days. Because the world sucks so why wouldn’t something else go wrong?!”
“I-“ Angella seemed speechless, marveling at the fury in Glimmer’s eyes. Glimmer sat stiffly and breathed heavily like she had just sprinted a mile. She dared her mother to challenge her.
Finally Glimmer was the one to give in, letting her posture collapse and the anger subside, “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. It’s just, I’m so tired of being different. I stand out so much already. I’m the kid who can’t do anything but art and I cry too easily and I’m the one whose dad died... I wish I didn’t have to add my sexuality to that list.”
“Oh, darling,” Her mother’s voice was soft and seemed to dissolve into pieces as it broke.
Glimmer realized that maybe she had taken it too far, gone too deep, “I’m sorry. Just ignore what I said.”
“No, if you want to talk-“
Glimmer attempted once again to change the tone, smile a little too forced and voice a little too loud, “So about this girl. Yes! She’s very pretty and smart and funny.”
Angella’s lips twitched into a frown, “You sound like you’re reading off a list. I can tell you’re just trying to avoid the subject, even though you are the one that brought it up.”
Glimmer shrugged and popped a vegetable into her mouth, regretting her actions as the taste hit her but thankful that she didn’t have to answer.
Her mother pursed her lips, “I don’t like you closing everything up from me but-“
The doorbell drilled from across the room and Glimmer jumped up, practically running away from the table, “Pizza’s here!”
She walked back into the room a minute later and set the box down with an exaggerated flourish. She let the performance drop with a grimace when she noticed the defeated look on her mother’s face.
She didn’t try to hide the sigh that escaped her, “What’s wrong, Mom?”
“I don’t know,” Angella shook her head, “I just feel like we haven’t been, I don’t know, connecting lately.”
Maybe that’s because you’re never home. Glimmer bit her tongue, immediately feeling guilty for the words that had very nearly jumped out of her mouth. You know she doesn’t get to choose when her shifts are. You know she works long hours for you. And maybe she would know more if you actually told her anything.
Glimmer reached to open the pizza box and grab a piece, buying time for her to fish for a more appropriate response in her mind. She wished she could just shrug again and brush the whole interrogation off her shoulders. But her mother had a look of soft pleading in her eyes that Glimmer knew was actually veiling steely stubbornness. There was no way she could win this.
She took a bite and chewed it slowly, all while keeping eye contact with her mother. It was a contest of wills at that point and they both knew it. But every possible strategy and escape route Glimmer could construct had twisted itself into a dead end.
“Well, I’m here now so... let’s ‘connect’ I guess,” The words felt weird and awkward as they left her mouth.
Angella leaned forward, grinning triumphantly, “How’s school been going? Have you started any new art projects? Also this girl- what’s so problematic about her?”
The last question caught Glimmer off guard, “I never said she was problematic. What makes you say that?”
Her mother gave a vague, noncommittal twitch to her lips before looking away and grabbing a slice off pizza for herself. Glimmer almost burst out laughing- She’s using my own tactics against me.
After a moment Angella spoke, “There just seems to be more going on; there’s something that’s bothering you right now. Did something happen today?”
Glimmer resolved to shredding the remaining crust in her hands to tiny pieces that she then threw at her plate. There were a thousand things her mother could have been picking up on, all the stray thoughts that bumping on the edges of her mind and dragged her off topic. But there was only one thought that took center stage; Elizabeth and whatever trouble she had no doubt already gotten Glimmer into.
The reminder of Adora’s text still waiting for her in the other room made Glimmer queasy. She felt like Adora was herself perched in the kitchen, patiently waiting for Glimmer to notice her. Glimmer could just see her sitting in the edge of the counter and swinging her legs out, probably looking far too cute than she had any right to given the danger she represented.
It was no wonder that her mother could tell something was up when Glimmer was practically squirming in her seat. Not that Glimmer would admit that. It was too close to the surface; one of those issues that caused her so much more pain because the wave could crest at any moment and the entire crisis would come crashing down her. It was the difference between slowly turning the shower temperature up bit by bit- yes, you might be aware of the damage in the back of your mind but it doesn’t really bother you- and simply thrusting your arm into a boiling pot of water.
Admitting to her discomfort would be admitting to the problem’s existence. She wasn’t ready to do that yet; wasn’t ready to take her arm out of the boiling water. Worst of all, she wasn’t ready to treat the inevitable burns.
The whole situation with Elizabeth was way too delicate to let her mother stomp into the scene. It was a white hot rod that twisted within her and kept her sitting stiffly as it ran the entire length of her torso. But it was like leaving a ticking bomb in the middle of the room and expecting her mom to ignore it.
Glimmer tapped the tongs of her fork against her throughly destroyed crust, occasionally stabbing into it.
Her mother blinked across at her, patient for an answer to the point of obstinance.
Glimmer gave her an awkward scowl, “Yeah, there’s just been some complications.”
Angella opened her mouth, obviously prepared to protest but Glimmer bolted up quickly, filling the room with the sound of her chair screeching against the floor before her mom could fill the space with any other sort of noise.
She grabbed her plate and rushed out of the room before she would have to admit to anything else- or have her body language admit it for her. She let the plate clatter as she hurriedly set it down in the sink and continued down the hall, moving in a straight line to nowhere in particular other than just away. Away from all the reminders. Away from her mother’s eyes that managed to pick her apart with just a glance. Away from those eyes that were too tired and too sad.
It wasn’t until she was half way down the hall that Glimmer realized she had taken her phone with her. She must have impulsively snatched it as she walked out of the kitchen. As much as she wished, it was too late to put it back.
Glimmer paused momentarily and stared down at the small device in her hand. It’s just a phone. It can’t actually hurt you. Even if Adora’s message is, you know, crushing and life ruining, it’s not like she can REALLY do anything to you. The voice of reason sounded flimsy and unsure if itself even to Glimmer- and she was the one creating it. Look loser, you’re gonna have to deal with it eventually.
That made more sense.
She stopped stalling and trudged into her room, careful not to slam the door to assure her mom that she wasn’t mad. Glimmer tripped her way over to her bed; her room was still a war zone of craft supplies from the night before.
Even that was a surreal experience. Part of Glimmer was still convinced none of it had ever happened, another part was sure it had occurred years ago. A final piece whispered that Adora taking up space in her room and her voice filling the house was the norm and Glimmer being by herself was the alien situation.
Glimmer flopped backwards onto her bed. She almost wondered if the soft impression Adora had left in the sheets was still there. She almost wondered if they had held onto that hyper-specific scent that Glimmer knew you could only notice if you sat right next to Adora- or if she had her arms wrapped around you. She almost closed her eyes and tried to pretend that Adora was still there and they still had a few hours until the morning and more clay to paint and time was still their’s to play with because they were just a couple of dumb teens trying to live their lives and sometimes that meant abandoning human constructs and dancing to Hozier. She almost did that. Almost. But she didn’t. She hadn’t fallen that far.
She stared up at her ceiling for a second. It was too bright in there with her lights on for the star stickers to glow. Instead they just sat there looking mildly dirty, just some dusty greenish yellow spots above her that could never measure up to the real thing.
Glimmer finally stopped procrastinating and raised her phone above her face so that she couldn’t see that sickly stars anymore- just the still darkened screen of what was surely her doom.
She took one last gulp of air and she tapped in her password. The message icon was bright green, but it might as have been dark indigo because Glimmer felt like she was diving into a bottomless ocean trench as she opened the app. Here goes nothing.
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imagines-dreams · 5 years
Text
Endgame Fix It - Fanfiction
aka I watched Endgame and I need to recover, so I rewrote it, for mental health... reasons....
also aka ENDGAME SPOILERS
Rating: PG-13 for you know... Endgame.... spoilers
Warnings: ENDGAME SPOILERS
Summary: Steve, Loki, Tony, Nebula
Word Count: 3131
When Captain Marvel slashed through the ship in less than ten seconds, the tide of the battle changed immediately. She held Thanos’s hand open, and he couldn’t snap his damned fingers again. Thanos may have hit her with the Power Stone, but Captain Marvel had seen worse. She got back up and got him in a headlock easily, and before he could shake her off again, Thor was back on his feet again, and he held back his gloved hand. Thanos reached to remove him or Captain Marvel or anyone, but Tony and Steve got back up and held back his other arm.
For a few seconds, Thanos was subdued, but what now? They couldn’t hold him forever. Sure, Captain Marvel was very powerful, and sure, Captain America held back his hand with his own for a while, and yeah Thor hit him hard and killed him once, and ok, Tony made the Titan bleed, but still, this was taking a toll on all of them, and they couldn’t hold him back much longer.
But it wasn’t them who decided what to do next.
It was Nebula, his daughter. Thanos smiled a little. “You’ve come back.”
Nebula tilted her head and smirked ever so slightly. “Nor for you.” She sauntered over to Thor and took the infinity stones in her marred hand.
Thor stared at her, but he said nothing.
Tony grunted. “Nebula, no.”
“Daughter-”
“No.” She carefully placed each stone on her opposite hand with such delicate care. “No, you used me as a weapon, so now” -the stones were all on her hand now and she smiled up at her father- “I’m a weapon.”
“Our plan,” Thanos begged, as his daughter’s mercy, “it’s inevitable. It’s-”
“No.” She spoke so softly compared to the Titan, but her words held more weight, and it silenced him. “No, for once, I get to decide what I do. And I decide that you lose.”
Tony screamed his head off, nearly letting go of Thanos’s hand. Steve faltered, but he stood strong, and Thor closed his eyes and thanked her in his mind. Carol watched and smiled at the strong woman in front of her. She deserved this, an honorable death and vengeance against her father.
The army faded to dust. One by one, they fell and disappeared, and Thanos, too, turned to dust, not sparing a glance at his daughter.
“Nebula!” Gamora leaned over her sister and pulled her into her lap.
Nebula turned her neck, so slowly, so mechanically, and said, “Hello, sister.”
Tony rushed to her side and observed the damage. Friday calculated and assessed and in less than a second, he smiled, “You can be fixed. You have time.” The damage her arm sustained from the stones was fixable and replaceable. The part of her face that was marred and burned was mostly mechanical, and the part that wasn’t… It was beyond him
“T’Challa” Tony yelled. “Where’s T’Challa? He can help.”
Dr. Strange created a portal, and T’Challa walked through with two other women. “What do you need?”
Tony clarified, “I’ve read about your tech. Vibranium-based medicine.”
The younger girl tilted her head and approached Nebula.
“Do you have any on you? Can you help her?”
T’Challa just smiled. “I can’t help you.” He looked to his sister. “But Shuri can.”
Shuri was already getting to work. Her mind filled with everything that needed to be done. “This is amazing. Organic life with mechanical implements, beyond prosthetic.” She gulped as realization set in as to what the woman had to go through to become what she was. “Could be smoother,” Shuri commented, “Less painful.” She reached out, but Gamora flinched and held her sister close to her.
Shuri just smiled. “I can help her. I promise. I’ve fixed people before.”
Gamora stared at all the new faces around her, still not sure what was going on and who these people were to her future self or to Nebula, but her sister convinced her. With one look and the word, “Sister,” Gamora understood. She let the girl look over Nebula.
Shuri smiled and took out a metal ball. She placed it on Nebula’s head, where the scarred, organic skin met scarred metal. The metal ball transformed into liquid when it touched her head and wrapped itself around the wounded area of her head. “You will need more medical attention. I can provide that back home.”
Nebula looked to her sister.
“She can come, too.”
“Me, too.” Tony raised his hand.
Shuri stared at him and his suit. Nanotech. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Tony shook his head. “You need an extra hand.”
Shuri beamed. “Exactly.”
T’Challa turned to Dr. Strange. “May we?”
“Of course.” Dr. Strange created a portal, and they went to Wakanda. Tony said asked his wife how Morgan was, and after hearing Happy was watching over her, he kissed her and told her that he’d see her soon. Then, just before Tony left, he requested, “Hey, Strange, can you make sure the kid gets home?”
Dr. Strange stared at the kid, who was currently right behind Tony, probably planning on sneaking into Wakanda.
Peter gasped. “Wait, but it’s Wakanda!”
“Yeah, I can bring him home.”
“But-”
“No, buts, kid.” Tony put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and reminded him, “I’m sure your aunt would be happy to see you.”
Peter immediately nodded. “See you soon, sir.”
“Yeah, kid.” Then, he was gone.
Dr. Strange patted Peter’s back. “Come on, kid.”
Suddenly, a blue smoke puffed in front of them. Everyone still remaining got back into fighting positions. Peter got his mask back on. Captain America groaned and put up his fists. Captain Marvel just crossed her arms and waited.
“I’ve returned! Prepare to…” The man blinked a few times. “Did I miss it?” He stared at his wrist, a very much broken contraption on it. “This blasted thing. Curse that man in iron, he said it was-”
“Brother?”
“Yes, what is it? I’m busy here.” The man tapped his wrist thing furiously.
Thor stared at him. Then, he picked up a rock and threw it at the man’s face.
The man caught it and scoffed. “Really, was that necessary?”
Thor lit up, not with lightning, but with pure joy. “Loki!” He jumped right onto his brother, and the two nearly fell because of him. “You’re back! I thought you’d died. Thanos-”
“Is an idiotic titan who needed stones to defeat people.” Loki rolled his eyes. “Honestly, you thought he could defeat me?”
Thor’s eyes narrowed. Then, he threw another rock at Loki, which he caught. “Honestly, Thor-”
“You faked your death again?” Thor screamed and threw another rock. Then another. And another.
“Stop that.” Loki dodged the first two, but the third hit his shoulder. “Stop it!”
The two brothers continued throwing rocks at each other, and everyone else just stared confused.
Bruce whispered, “Isn’t Loki, you know, evil?”
“Apparently not?” Steve said, unsure of himself. So far, however, the god of mischief wasn’t doing anything bad. Except for making duplicates of himself for Thor to hit and scream at.
Valkyrie dismounted her pegasus. “Evil, kinda. A pain in our ass, definitely.” She smiled at the two. “But, I’ll keep them in line for you guys.” And so, when Valkyrie and her pegasus walked over to the two brothers and started yelling at both of them, no one questioned it.
Steve smiled at himself as he picked up the hammer again. Seriously, he had a sliver of hope that he could, but he never thought it could be true. He’d have to return that first. Then the rest of the stones.
And after, maybe visit someone.
Someone he really wanted to see.
Her name changed though. Peggy Carter was now Peggy Carter-Sousa. She was married to Daniel Soussa, and both of them still actively worked for Peggy’s organization, SHIELD, which was with no doubt named after him.
They were at a restaurant when Steven finally found them, rings on their fingers, and the first emotion Steve felt was happiness. Happiness for her. Because he knew she moved on, that she would become an amazing wife, mother, and leader. But seeing it was different.
She smiled so brightly with Daniel. She was going to be ok.
Then, her eyes caught his, and before he could escape, Peggy Carter was in front of him, eyes wide and expression unsure. She gulped, and it only took her a few seconds before she narrowed her eyes and said with certainty, “You’re not my Steve.”
Steve felt like he should’ve cried, but he didn’t. He did miss her voice, though. The soldier nodded.
Peggy crossed her arms. “And what are you doing here?”
“Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Even if I tried.” He smiled a little. “I’m happy for you.”
Peggy blushed and glanced back at the table inside where her husband was waiting patiently. She told him who was out here with her, and he knew it was better to stay out of it. The woman sighed. “And your family?”
Steve laughed a little. “They’re waiting for me.”
“Well,” Peggy smiled, “you shouldn’t be late.”
“You’re right.” Steve smiled even wider, because even though a part of him will love her, and a part of her will love him, they were different. They had different lives, and they shouldn’t waste it.
She kissed his cheek. “Go home.”
Steve sat next to Sam and sighed. “I think I’m done,” he said. “I’ve been a soldier all my life, and I don’t want to die a soldier.”
“So, what are you going to do, then?”
Steve smiled at Bucky, his oldest friend and maybe something more, and sighed. “Well, T’Challa offered me a place.”
Sam looked back at Bucky and smirked. “I see.”
Steve sighed. “I will always be there if you need me, but for now, I need some peace of my own.” And with that, Steve set his shield down and set it between them. “Try it on.”
Sam’s eyes widened. He had his title. Falcon and Captain America’s best friend. He stared at the shield, then at Steve, then at Bucky, and when nothing responded, he gingerly picked it up. It was a tad big on him.
“How does it feel?”
Sam tightened the strap on his arm. “Like it’s someone else’s.”
“It isn’t.”
He smiled at his friend, his role model, and said, “Thank you. I’ll try my best.”
Steve nodded. “And that’s why it’s yours.” He patted Sam on the back. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m retiring.”
Sam laughed.
Steve nodded at Bruce, then he turned to Bucky and smiled.
“You saw her?” Bucky asked.
Steve nodded.
Bucky stared off into the distance. “I kinda thought you’d stay there.”
“No, I couldn’t.” The retired captain nudged his friend. “Hey.” And when Bucky’s eyes met his, Steve said, like he had said so many time before. “I’m with you til the end of the line.”
Bucky just shook his head, and with tears in his eyes, he managed to say, “Punk.”
Tony opened the door and was met with a high-pitched scream. It wasn’t of his wife or his daughter. No, instead it was one of his other, well, kids.
Harley, now nearing twenty-one, screamed and as he tried to hide his hand from Tony, Tony easily saw the poorly hidden hand, which was covered in metal. Like his own Iron Man gauntlet.
His wife, who was across the table from Harley, smiled politely. “Well, I’ll leave the two of you to talk. I’ll go check on Morgan.” She kissed his cheek and left.
Harley smiled brightly, one of his hands still behind his back. “Hi, Mr. Stark.”
“Mhm.” Tony leaned over, trying to get a glimpse at what Harley had. “And that is?”
“Nothing.”
“Harley.”
The boy held up both his hands, and sure enough, there was nothing on his hands. “See. Nothing to see here, Mr. Stark.”
Tony eyed Harley’s wrists. Two Stark Industries issued watches, one on each wrist. “Right.” Tony nodded and grabbed Harley’s right hand. It was the second to newest model, not the newest model that Tony had given him two years prior. And the condition was very worn down for a two-year-old watch. Too many scratches. That, and there were a few noticeable changes only its creator would recognize. An extra dent here, a bit too light.
Harley gulped.
“Show me,” Tony said, stepping away.
Harley scoffed. “Show you what.”
“Come on, kid. You really think you can lie to me?”
The boy sighed. “Don’t be mad,” he reminded his mentor. Then, Harley inhaled deeply and swiped a finger across his right wristwatch. A hologram appeared above it, and with a few touches and clicks and drags of metal across skin, Harley’s hand was encased in metal, and in his palm sat a repulsor.
Tony opened the front door and pointed at a nearby tree. “There.”
“Mr. Stark?”
The mechanic grabbed a pack of trail mix. While eating, he pointed at the tree again. “Go on.”
Harley blinked, but still, he aimed and fired. A bright blue beam shot out of his hand and struck the tree. It wasn’t perfectly centered, but it was close.
“Not bad.” Tony sighed. “But no.” He walked past Harley to his office.
“No?” Harley followed him. “Wha-”
“I mean, no, you’re not becoming Iron Man.” Tony approached his desk, and the tabletop came to life with holograms and files. “That’s why you came here, right?”
“I mean… kinda?” Harley sighed. “It’s not just that, Mr. Stark. I wasn’t there for anything. I wasn’t there when the Avengers split up or when Thanos first arrived. I was on the sidelines. I can’t do that if something bad happens again.”
“Have you thought it through?”
The boy tilted his head. “Thought what through?”
“Thought all of this through.” Tony spread his arms and files upon files of his own superhero career appeared. From the rumors before he announced Iron Man to clips of his more traumatizing moments to files of the deceased. Yinsen, Phil Coulson, Pietro Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff and so much more.
Harley stared at those files and flipped through them. He stared at Natasha’s file. He missed her. He met her before, a few times, and she was remarkable. He bowed his head. “I have.”
Tony nodded. “What about them?” Tony swiped his arm, and files appeared in front of Harley. His mom and his sister.
Harley smiled. He pulled his sister’s file. “Rosa’s in college now, studying art, and Mom?” Harley picked up her file. “Mom’s fine on her own, and I know she still needs me, but…” He sighed. “Mr. Stark, I need to be out there. I can’t let other people fight my battles. Not when I’m qualified to do the same.”
Tony nodded. “Show me all of it.”
“All of what?”
“Your suit. I saw the two watches.”
Harley smiled. He excitedly swiped and tapped and clicked and dragged, and the metal transformed and covered his hands. It spread to his arms and his chest, to his head and to his legs, and the familiar whir of a suit almost made Tony smile.
Soon, Harley was protected by his own suit, silver and red accents. His mask flipped up and revealed a brilliant smile. “How does it look?”
Tony saw the tiny details. The color change and the different arc reactor. The way the metal hugged Harley in a way his first suit couldn’t. He knew Harley was smart, but, shit, he never realized how hard this kid worked.
“Looks pretty good, kid. Pretty good.”
Harley smiled and packed his suit back into his watches. “So, am I an Avenger now?”
Tony took his time to chew and swallow his trail mix. “No.”
“No?”
“No, because” -Tony pressed a few buttons on the holograms and suddenly a building appeared between the two men- “you will train here first.” Tony pulled up some files and presented them in front of Harley. “Sam’s leading the training, with Wanda and Clint. We got some good names here. Peter, Shuri, Cassie, Lila.” Tony nodded. The four kid’s profiles were in front of him, and it looked good. Especially with Harley smiling with them.
“And you, Mr. Stark?”
Tony shrugged. “I’ve wanted to hang up the suit a long time ago, Harley. I thought I’d never be able to sit around just watch, but with the new Captain America and you guys taking care of the world.” He smiled up at the profiles. “I think I can at least take a little break.”
“So no interfering?”
“I never said that.” Tony returned all the files to the table and turned it off. “I’ll come in when I get worried. But for now,” he smiled fondly, “I’m going to take care of my girls. Before Tony could get more emotional, I mean the kid already saw him have a panic attack, Tony clicked his tongue. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
Harley grabbed his bag. “You know, Peter’s younger and he technically is an Avenger. So maybe-”
“Harley, I know what you’re doing.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You mean guilt tripping?”
Harley groaned. “It was worth a shot.”
A week later, there was a funeral for Natasha and Vision. Everyone was there. Their family. They set off memorials in the river and watched as they floated away. They would forever be remembered. A few years later, Steve and Bucky adopted a little girl with red hair and brown eyes. They named her Natalie, in Natasha’s honor. Clint cried when he held her.
The Young Avengers train, picking up kids who were qualified and had good heads on their shoulders and a good heart. The new Captain America led them well. They made names for themselves. Spider-Man not only protected New York, he also was the most experienced in the multiverse. Shuri goes back to Wakanda every now and then, but focuses most of her energy advancing technology and on training to become better and stronger. Lila becomes an amazing archer just like her father and never misses a shot. Cassie comes in when she’s needed, finding more interest in engineering than superheroing, but she loves her team. Harley soon becomes their leader, helped by Peter, and his name… Well.
“Iron Lad!”
Harley tilted his head. “What was that, Morgan?”
The girl giggled and pointed at his arc reactor. “Iron Lad.”
“Not the name I was looking for.” Harley laughed, brushed her hair back, and kissed her forehead. “But, in your honor.” He put his hands on his hips and put on his mask. “Iron Lad.”
The girl squealed as her older brother attacks her with tickles and kisses, and when she’s tired, she whispered, “I love you.”
“3000?”
“3000!”
I may or may not edit this, cause there’s still a few things I want to “fix,” but give me suggestions, give me feedback, and I might just post a second version! aka this is also me asking for reblogs and comments because i’m super nervous about this fic so please please please
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jazz-miester · 5 years
Text
Hold Me Close
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Warning: Thoughts of hoplesness and worthlessness.
Paring: Optimus Prime x female Cybertronian reader.
[I left Optimus open for any continuity so there y'all go. I know some have their own Optimus. This is also more of a parent child type relationship. I don't really write anything romantic for Op. Kk ramble done.]
The feeling hammered into me like a wave crashing into a cliff face. My legs were pulled in so tightly to my chest I felt as if I was going to fold in on myself. My body shuddered as I try to right my venting not wanting the others to here the hiccuping gasps as my cooling systems try to right themselves. It had come out of nowhere. Quite literally. One moment I was talking to Hound in the rec room and the next I had to excuse myself before I blew up on him.
These empty waves came and go just like the tide to the moon. But unlike it there was no rhyme nor reason to it.
So that’s what led me to where I am now. Huddled in a small supply closet trying not to bawl my optics out because my fraging systems got screwed up somewhere on the assembly line. My processor would tell my body that I had something messed up and instead of trying to fix it my processor would quit. At that point I would be left with the nothing feeling. The feeling of not being enough that I wasn’t whole. That I wasn’t enough. Even that I was broken.
And I was.
I always have been. Broken. Ever since I could remember. I was told to cut it out that there was bots everywhere for me. That I was needed. Which is a lie because if I remember correctly I wasn’t the only model made this way which meant I could be replaced. Very easily. No one would notice.
My hands slid over my audios as my chest filled with pain. It hurt to think like that. But it was true. My vents do a little hiccup gasp as they suck in a handful of dust. It leaves me sputtering. I pull in tighter to myself if it was even possible and leaned my head against a crate full of cleaning solvents.
It wasn’t until the door cracked open did I really try to bury myself within the crates. I could see the dust filtering through the light just over the tops of my knees. And the shadow of a bot standing in the door way. Hopefully it was just a bot getting a mop and they would leave.
But of course I’m the one with bad luck.
The door closes and throws me into darkness once again. The little light is turned on from overhead and offers a dim light in the small room. 
Sure enough it was him. I don’t know why he keeps trying to help me. He’s the Prime leader of the Autobots! Surely he had something better to do than deal with a defective solider.
“Little one? Are you alright?” His rumbling voice is soothing to the screaming I've let fill my audio receptors. I put my head on my knees as a response. I didn’t want him to look at me much less talk. How embarrassing is it to have your commanding officer find you not once, not twice, but four times in the broom closet close to crying?
Let me tell you.
You wish the floor really was lava.
He sighed just like every time before. I could feel gentle fingers go under my chin and push up. Ok maybe not like every time before. His mask had slid away and his thumb began to swipe across my cheek. This... This was a first.
“What troubles you so much y/n?” Why? I jerk my head back and return to my little sulky ball.
“It’s nothing important. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” I mutter out. “I’m fine.” Optimus frowns and proceeds to sit down in front of me. Effectively blocking my way to the door.
“You have been placed under my care y/n so it is important. We may not be many on this vessel but we are close. I like to know the health of my soldiers so that I may help them in any way.” I snirk. Small my aft. But I wasn’t going to say anything.
“But why me?” I couldn’t help but blurt it out. My servos come to slap over my mouth as I stare wide optic at him. Why would I ask that? Optimus smiles sadly.
“What reason have I given you to think that I would not Little One? I have always been here to help. As is Ratchet and Prowl, even Jazz. Now.” He grabs a hold of my servos so that i’m forced to unfurl from my balled up state. “Will you tell me what ails you?” My small hands tighten around his. Engulfed in a protective strength that I have never felt before my on-lining. My hands tremble as I unconsciously  pull myself closer.  
“I..” I felt like I had swallowed a million cleaning rags. My voice not wanting to be heard. I was scared to admit it out loud. To tell one that I have looked up to that there was something seriously wrong with me. That I knew I was to broken to fix.
“I’m broken.” It’s all I could get out before breaking down and crying. Before I knew it Optimus had pulled me up and into his lap. My head resting against his chest. There was a comfort that was never there before as weird as that sounds. The thrumming sound from inside his chest giving me a calm that felt like sleeping in a pile of blankets. Warm, content, and very very safe. His large servo began running up and down by back. It was quiet. I could feel the bad thoughts trying to come back.
What if he thinks your weak? Miserable child!Why would he care? They’re gonna through you out!
“You are not broken y/n.Instead you are a different puzzle with all of the pieces mixed up.” I looked up at him. He continued. “You are not the first bot I have met like this and I do not believe you will be the last. But with each one I noticed something.” He pulled me in close his arms wrapping around me as he leaned back against the wall. “You’re the worlds hardest puzzle with all of the pieces unfairly mixed and hidden. You still have all of them nothing is missing or ruined. You just have a little bit more to do.” His chest rumbled as he spoke. His voice sounding like far off thunderclouds just before it stormed.
“You are not broken. You are not alone. Y/n I give you my deepest apologies that you have been made to feel this way and I know it is not something that is easily helped. But I do know, that by telling you this it should help.” His helm came to rest against mine as tears began to stream down either side of my face. Thick droplets of water that was quickly dashed away.
“You are loved. You are needed. You are a such an integral part of this ship I do not think I could get rid of you without the whole place going into uproar.” My body was shaking now my frame rattling against his as he pulled me in for a tight hug, “But most importantly you are you. And that is the best thing in this world, that you have the freedom to choose who you want to be. Did you know that Little One? That you don’t always have to feel like this. And believe me when I say that they are many others who agree.”
I could only cry. This doesn’t fix every thing. Not by a long shot. But by being here, and as childish as it sounds, just being held. I felt the most loved I had in a long time. It was safe, it was comfort, it felt like home.
It’s just the first step but I hope that I can hold this close. This feeling of love. Even if it’s just for a short while. I don’t think I have to go to far though to find it.
(I really need to stop these midnight rambles :) Enjoy! And I would really love feed back!)
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mellz117 · 4 years
Text
Nnnnnnngggghhhh it’s part 2 of Mellz plays KH2 on the PS2!
It’s been a while since I got around to working on this part but since we’re all in quarantine I thought I’d catch up on my commentary.
If this is your first time tuning in, why not check out part 1 before reading?? In there you’ll also find links to my commentary of KH1 and Re:CoM on the PS2
On that note, let’s continue shall we?
To recap. We lost some pics, we found some pics, Seifer is a bitch. We did odd jobs and fought bees, we got robbed at stick point. Roxas keeps having dreams that act as exposition dumps for anyone who hasn’t played KH1. Roxas met Namine and he followed her to the mansion but got lost on the way there and wrong warped to the Station of Serenity via sandlot. Oh, we fought this game’s version of the Darkside Heartless but this time it’s a wormy, white Nobody. I really, really hate it! Hayner thinks Roxas loves Seifer more than him because it’s the epitome of “it’s not what it looks like”. Today, we Struggle to rekindle our friendship.
The next morning? Afternoon? EVENING? Nobody knows because it’s always the same time of day from morning until night and from night until morning! The Struggle tournament is about to begin. Tensions still seem on the rise before the preliminaries start, Hayner has very little to say to Roxas at this time. I’m not ready at this point so I decide to delay the fight and talk the townspeople and fight Seifer once again for old time’s sake. Our combatants are relayed the rules and the first round is between Roxas and his best friend, Hayner. Both the boys are a little somber as the countdown starts. Roxas is still feeling guilty about yesterday, but Hayner doesn’t care. He’s not angry at Roxas, he’s been so quiet because he’s so concentrated on the tournament!
Battle ensues.
I win because that’s the only way to progress. Roxas and Hayner make up and be all cute again. The next fight is between Seifer and Vivi.
Rose: “This is like... any person fighting Yoda”
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Seifer got MESSED UP!
His pride after this was so squashed he DROPPED OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT, leaving Hayer in line for 3rd place. Seifer was willing to throw away a place in top 3 because he lost to blue Yoda.
I like how Roxas is ready to fucking pummel Vivi here AFTER time runs out. No mercy.
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…oh my gosh it turns out this Vivi was a Dusk Nobody all along who could have seen that coming...?
*gasp* It’s HIM
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My favorite bastard!
Axel: “Talk about blank with a capital ‘B’...”
Rose: “Talk about BITCH with a capital ‘B’!”
I love Axel to death in case you haven’t guessed that yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever drag him. He moves like a goddamn weasel. He’s as skinny as one too.
I win the fight because I’m the protagonist, and then DiZ shows his pretty face for the first time to our boy. Axel knows who he is? I’m guessing from Castle Oblivion? Unless there’s some Days stuff I’m not remembering. Things get weird again, DiZ and Axel call out Roxas’s name and their voices warp all funky and I remember getting secondhand embarrassment every time I watched this scene when I was younger!
Roxas has a mild freak out and calls out for his friends, poor thing. This seems to make everything normal. What passes for normal around here, sure... and the real Vivi falls face first onto the arena and has no recollection of ever participating. He didn’t. A Dusk just unceremoniously dumps his unconscious body off in the middle of a tournament. We then snag first place, but to add one more rank, as reigning champion, Roxas has to win against this Crispin Freeman motherfucker, obtain a special belt, and bragging rights for a whole-ass year.
My strategy? As long as I have more orbs than my opponent I win so I just hit Setzer once and run around the stage until time’s up. Not that I can’t fairly win against him. Is this the only time we get to fight Setzer? Seems kind of a waste to make a model and moveset if he’s got such a miniscule role.
We actually CAN fail this and still progress but I’m not a quitter. I’m gonna get Roxas that belt. So I did. The Twilight Town gang are once again sitting atop the clock tower, revel in Roxas’s victory, and each kid gets one of the crystals fixed to the trophy. ICE CREAM TIME! But Roxas is an idiot, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree now does it? stands up in like, 2 frames, and slips off the clock tower to his death. Rest in pieces.
This scene ends and we see a young lady walking alone after school. It’s Kairi! This is my favorite version of her. So she and Selphie start talking about Riku, the island they used to go to all the time, and another boy nobody remembers.
IDK how this telepathy works, while Roxas is still falling in slow-motion there’s a three way conversation between him, Kairi, and Sora himself chimes in a bit. Roxas mistakes Kairi for Namine, Kairi corrects him, “you’re that girl he likes” he says, Kairi desperately asks for a name, Roxas tells her HIS OWN name, NO NO you dolt Kairi wants this other guy’s name, see this is how wingmanning works. Sora’s all like “gee thanks for remembering me. I’ll give you a hint”.
Kairi gently pollutes the ocean with a message in a bottle, somehow the bottle heads out towards the great unknown despite the tide coming IN? I would think the bottle would kinda just... float in one spot for a bit? Or at least back to shore.
Next we’re back in the computer room with DiZ and this black clad man, who we finally get to learn is Ansem. But uh... He ain’t tho.
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My least favorite part of Roxas’s part is coming up... OK OK OK so falling from great heights during battle is perfectly safe but falling off the clock tower could kill Roxas? Seems legit.
A’ight Olette is really cracking down on the summer homework and uh. They got no topic for their independent studies yet. This was me during most of my highschool career. Roxas suggests the weird stuff happening around HIM, because the world revolves around him (little does he know...) and Hayner shoots that idea down IMMEDIATELY. Turns out, they’re gonna search the town tomorrow for answers, the whole town’s gonna help out. How sweet!  Roxas’s reaction here is so pure.
Wait so Roxas has been telling his friends about the dreams he’s been having? I would have liked to see that! Like, their reactions to them.
I went to check out the dart board and Rose starts laughing and says she read “examine” like how Namine is pronounced. Anyway, what is the gnag gonna study? The Seven Wonders of Twilight Town. *yaawwn*
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Oof, another example of “couldn’t care less” being misspoken as “could care less”. If you COULD care less that implies you already DO care. IT’S “COULDN’T CARE LESS”, RAIJIIN!!!
*fights Seifer one last time for good measure*
“The time has come! Our hunt for the Seven Wonders begins!” Pence is such a dork. I love him.
KNOW WHAT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING WONDER? IF THESE STAIRS ACTUALLY DID COUNT DIFFERENTLY UP AND DOWN BUT NO RAIJIIN IS JUST A DUNCE!
The Wall. These legitimate answers are lame as hell. Oh someone must have been throwing a ball oh but we know the truth.
The next “mystery” are voices in the access tunnels. It’s Vivi! But no, it’s probably not considering our track record. Now there’s 3. OH NO THEY KEEP MULTIPLYING! The real Vivi arrives and lets Roxas borrow his struggle bat so he can practice fighting by himself but oh wait... That was also a Dusk. These guys just... really don’t know when to quit. Aaaand this is where we stop for now. My capture card stopped recording. Or maybe it was just my imagination. Yes that’s right. I’m recoding this with COMMENTARY! I’m putting all my favorite parts into a compilation. Hopefully I’ll get those up on my channel soon.
Ta-ta for now! The sooner I finish this game the sooner I can move on to the remasters on PS4!
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selenecrawford · 5 years
Text
The Odd Pair 14
Warning: none for this chapter. If you spot one please let me know thanks.
The elegant penthouse near Central was calmed with a soft music of a piano sounding on the background. The decoration was raging from soft luxury with different golden tones, white and some black accessories that will make any magazine envious to some decadent animal trophies. The place had a synchronized balance only disrupted by the drumming of fingers on the marble top. The man was deep in thought surveying the view in front of him. Central Park was a piece of nature inside the concrete jungle. The man had platinum hair with wrinkles on his light blue eyes. His clothes were expensive as his environment with dark hues of blue, gray and black. Drinking on the view in front of him a small smile appeared on his lips at the arrival of his lawyer. Stephen Parker walked behind the butler he guided him in front of client. Wearing a traditional black suit with mint green shirt and black tie he was like a model of those sears catalog you could always see. The apartment was spacious walking the distance he took his time to prepare mentally until he was standing in  front of  Alexander Nolan. Nolan kept drumming his fingers without loosing a beat. His rhythm matching the musical keys of the piano. After a couple of minutes the last keys died leaving only a soft silence.
“Ah, the man I was hoping for. What news had you brought today Mr. Parker?” Parker knew that Nolan's innocent smile was only a facade. The only way to maintain that smile was to give him what he wanted nothing less nothing more. Clearing his throat the lawyer gave his report.
“The media had made quite a circus out of the information provided. Right now the board, has not yet made an statement, but they are expecting information from Mr. Takeda a meeting was called for tomorrow, they are waiting for him to make a public statement on the following days. Some are still willing to hear his explanations before making a decision.”
“Any signs of Mr. Takeda and his lovely “wife”?” the last word was spelled in such a disgusting lustful way, that even the lawyer had to restrain himself from expressing his disgust after hearing it.
“They arrived yesterday, so far they haven't left their apartment in Chelsea. Given the situation, with their new found “celebrity” I guess is understandable.” replied the lawyer.
“Did you managed to run the errand I requested earlier?” Nolan kept his good humored tone going.
Parker noticed he was enjoying the scenario perhaps way too much.
“The company had been acquired, all we need is to make the calls.” Parker decided not to express any sentiment on his words. Any inclination to disagree will result on his job being terminated. He might have a limit but sometimes money is money and debts won't be paid with good will.
“Good, make the call, let's spice things a little bit more. Just some little push to make things go finally the way they are supposed to be. Soon all will be mine. Thank you Mr. Parker you are dismissed please, keep me posted.” Parker nodded leaving without any other word. Nolan took a sip of his drink savoring the liquor going down his throat. If he played his cards right he will soon own the company, the endless possibilities that this new place will get him will be limitless. Shingen Takeda managed to make a little gold mine with his company, but it was him who will make it reach a new level of prestige.  All is fair in love and business. Smiling he choose the next musical piece. Closing his eyes he let the music fill his senses.
The smell of food started to reach Selene sense's, although she felt she was walking in darkness, soon she recovered her conscience. Opening her eyes slowly she found herself laying on the bed. Taking her time to sit she looked around. She heard movement around the apartment, alerted she ventured out of the room. The familiar voices, filled the living room, the kitchen. Confused she took a  look at Mitsuhide, talking with Sasuke while both were taking a look at their respective laptops, Nobunaga was talking on his phone, while roaming around the living room.  Masamune was on the kitchen making some food. The only person missing was Shingen.  Approaching the kitchen, Masamune was chopping some vegetables when he felt her presence.
“Lass, how are you feeling?”
“I'm ok, I guess, where is Shingen?”
“He is at the company, trying to put some order. Apparently, Nolan had been working overtime while he was out.” Nobunaga, arrived from the living room when he saw Selene entering the kitchen.
Selene let out a heavy sigh, things were getting more complicated. Closing her eyes, she bit her lip trying not start crying. There must be something she can do to help.
“Lass, come on, get something to eat then we can help you figure out something.” Masamune took her hand guiding her to the bar stool so she could sit, then served her a bowl of porridge. Although slow she started eating to the relief of everyone. The bell ring announcing another, visitor. Nobunaga went to  open the door. Kenshin arrived with a suitcase an his face not too happy.
“Any news?” Sasuke was the first one to ask.
“So far, the stocks are still holding but Nolan had been aggressive at the market. I could hold him, but unless Shingen release a statement, we are trapped.” Kenshin glanced at Selene who was still eating. Glancing back at the others he was making gestures to move outside hearing distance.
“I will appreciate if you keep talking Kenshin. I might feel terrified but I can't escape this. Also this is Shingen we are talking about, I don't want to be left out please.” Selene continued eating.
As much as she was hating the situation she needed to think a way to help.
“Very well, I spoke with Shingen he wants to keep you at the apartment. He doesn't want to risk you anymore. He will deal with Nolan alone, also he asked us to keep you company. He thinks Nolan might try some dirty tricks.”
Kenshin statement made Selene stop eating. Here we go again, Shingen always putting himself on harm to protect others. But who is protecting him? Clenching her fists, her knuckles became white. She was starting to get annoyed and tired of being saved like a princess, she could also help him. (“Goddammit Shingen, why always you had to be like that?”)
“ I wish he could have more faith in me, but I guess it's my fault. I've been pushing him off all the time.” a hand covered one of her fists.
“No, he is not pushing you off, he doesn't want you to get more pain that you already had. I saw his face when you fainted this morning. He tried to hide it but he was terrified. I even argued with him but the hard head won't reason.” Nobunaga's voice hard but against Shingen's stubbornness.
Selene stopped clenching her fists, taking a deep breath started to take control of her anger. Losing her temper won't solve the situation. Selene tried to think a way to help.
“Kenshin, how much control the board has on the company?” Selene started with the basics.
“As far as I know it's an unfair situation. Shingen and Yukimura have each, a fifteen percent, while the board who seemed to be control by Nolan have fifty percent, figuratively speaking, there is a an unknown investor who Shingen sold part of his stock a couple of years ago when he got a into a bit of trouble. So he has been silent, never had express interest on the company. Shingen had been trying to get to know who is but the person or persons had been quite clever.” Kenshin sounded also frustrated, apparently he has also been tracking this mysterious person.
“Kenshin can you do me a favor? Could you go with Shingen? I'm grateful he thinks about me but he needs support also. I will be ok, please?”
“You never change uh?” with a half smile Kenshin took his suitcase to leave. “ I will text you if anything happens.”
“Thanks.” seeing Kenshin leave Selene started thinking what could she do to make the tide turn on Shingen's favor.
Right now the advantage was on Nolan's side. Without knowing who owned the remaining twenty percent, Shingen still could loose the company. For Selene the whole situation was a big cluster, she knew things will always happened in trios, the ring of her cellphone, will prove her right.
“Hello, Selene how are you?”
“Oh, hi Jonathan, how are you? How is work?” the moment she made the question she knew something was wrong.
“Well, it's been a bit hectic. But there is something I need to tell you. The CEO, called me personally this morning. They think you working for the company at the moment is not good for the image of the company. So, he fired you. I'm sorry Selene but not telling the company of this was looked as a lie so they terminated your job. They told me to call you. They will send your things to your apartment. Again I'm sorry.” Selene couldn't speak or make a sound.
She let her phone on the counter of the kitchen. Another blow to them. It was clear that Nolan systematically was aiming to do as much possible damage as he can in order to make Shingen quit the company and give it to him. Sitting on the stool again she her face on her hands. What to do?
“Lass?” Masamune was really concerned after the called ended.
“I got fired from work.” after a moment of silence, she decided.
“For the time being don't tell Shingen. Although if I guess it right Nolan might deliver the blow before the meeting. When is the meeting with the board?”
“Shingen is clearing that I will call Yuki and see what I can find.” Sasuke went to his phone while the rest were expecting her next reaction.
“I don't know how much time we have but there if there is something we can do to help I want to do it.” Selene decided at that moment that it was time to take action even if Shingen didn't approve  of her participating.
Shingen finished the last call with a headache. Calling the members of the board individually, he had to use all his charm in order to keep the schedule without alterations. He had been all the morning  on the phone until he took a break to catch his breath. He wanted to finish as soon as possible. He left Selene with the rest of the gang but she was still unconscious. He should had stayed but his presence was required at the office. Yukimura had done an exceptional job on his absence, but the moment he came back many of the employees were sighing in relief. His sacrifice was having an impact on his company. With only 3 months left on the testament he wondered if he could make it, no, it was not only him, if both could make it. And speaking of the devil, Yukimura entered the office with Kenshin behind him.
“Look who I found...”
“Kenshin what happened? Is she ok?” seeing Kenshin at the office triggered all his alerts.
“She is awake, in fact she was the one told me to come here to support you. Had you ate something since this morning?” Kenshin noticed Shingen was tired, on edge.
“ I will when I get home, so far the rest are there right?”
“Not all of them, but those who made it are there with her. She is worried about you.” Kenshin went to serve himself a drink.
Shingen just wanted to leave the place and be home. He at some point wanted to call to see if she was awake. Kenshin had always been with him as some sort of rival/friend, as years went by the friendship grew more than a rivalry. Kenshin knows about his mask, he let him wear it without complain.
“Well I will finish in a few hours, then I will see how is she. I hope she doesn't faint when I get home.” Shingen tried to joke but the laugh didn't went out of his mouth.
“You are such a bad liar big brother. Go home, right now there is nothing for you to do until tomorrow. I can handle the rest here.” Yukimura said looking at Shingen seriously.
Yuki was wearing a his favorite  colors today, black trousers with matching shoes, a white long sleeve shirt with red stripes and black jacket. His brown reddish hair was styled on a modern style which made him look like a model on a male magazine. Shingen smiled at Yuki's seriousness. He was lucky to have him as a brother. Although he was more cautious than him, he was growing to be an exceptional negotiator like him, just a bit rougher.
“You think you can try not to terrorize the board until I get here tomorrow?” another attempt to joke that failed.
“You are tired, your charm is off. Again go home, Selene is waiting for you.” Yuki's half smirk was all Shingen need to give up.
“Ok, ok, I will see you guys tomorrow then.”
“Just one more thing Shingen.” Shingen pause to look a Shingen before leaving. “Don't leave Selene out of this. She can help and she is willing to. You don't have to bear the burden alone.”
Shingen only smiled before getting on his way home.
Selene raised her head up when she felt the front door open. Taking her glasses off she went to see Shingen arriving. He looked exhausted. When he turned around he stopped to see her looking at him. Her eyes were an opened book. A smile appeared softly on her face her eyes a bit watery.
“Hey, welcome home.” closing the distance she hugs him tightly.
Surprised at the gesture, Shingen closed his eyes letting her warmth fill him. He returned the hug, resting his cheek on the top of the head, they remained there for a couple of minutes. Silence was an ally for both, their bodies were their only way to truly communicate without misunderstandings.
“I'm home Princess.” and he really felt it.
“Come on, let me get you something to eat.” taking his hand, Selene took Shingen to the kitchen to serve him some soup and some  honey buns.
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Notes: Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Healthy ailments and work had done a number on me lately. A shout out to @notsafefortum-blr she had posted some cool stuff on her page that had me inspired. Also go check her Stories from the Limbo is a great read. If you will like to be tag for the stories let me know and send me a message. I hope you like this chapter and as always thank you for your likes, reblogs and comments. They mean the world to me. *hugs, grins*
@elievalentine @colivara @notsafefortum-blr @datemasamunemaiwaifu @unstoppablelinda @epicdragonlady @yeshasays @masa-little-kitten @mikamiw @kimi00twin @kouei116 @blue-bean-exe @mitsuhidethesnek @la-piperina @pirateprincessyuki @jennacat84 @valfraeyja @little-blue-octopus @sengokuotaku82 @serenity-writes @xathia-89 @shouta-bakugou @cailannuesugi @kitsune-mana @atatera-blog
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Text
CYBERVERSE SEASON 2 EPISODE 2 WATCH
(WINT I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR THE LINK)
LMAO WHAT IS THIS, “CALLOUT POST FOR STARSCREAM: THE MOVIE”
Megatron: Starscream, you have failed me for the last time Starscream: Bold of you to assume I won’t continue to fail you
As far as insults go, “bolthead” is hysterical
 I’m only 1 minute in and I can already feel the Starscream stans getting mad about this episode. Guys please chill
I’m glad we’re picking up right where we left off, I would’ve been disappointed
AW Shockwave caught Megatron when he started to fall, that was sweet
Not to gush over voice actors or anything but when Megatron said “It can wait” you could really HEAR that he was saying that through his teeth, I love that detail
THEY’RE GONNA FRICKIN SLAM THE MOON INTO EARTH GOOD PLAN GUYS
“Easy Wheeljack this is a fresh wax job!” Rodimus you’re adorable, I love you
Oh man Optimus really screwed hi OH SHOOT STARSCREAM JUST WENT FOR IT HOLY CRAP
HE DID IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE TOO
STARSCREAM PLEASE
OH SHOOT DID HE ACTUALLY DO IT??? WTF
MEGATRON ARE YOU OK????????? WHERE IS SOUNDWAVE, SOUNDWAVE BUDDY MEGATRON NEEDS YOU, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE
“I’M IN CHARGE NOW” Don’t you mean “Megatron has fallen, now I, Starscream, lead the Decepticons” ,’:D
Optimus: No time for witty banter Windblade! Windblade :(
JEEZ LOUISE OPTIMUS IS REALLY SLAMMING THESE POOR SEEKERS AROUND
Ten bucks says Megatron’s just faking death so Starscream can flounder. He’ll pop up at the end of the episode and be like “HA, you suck as a leader!”
Thundercracker: What about Lord...him? THUNDERCRACKER DO YOU NOT KNOW MEGATRON’S NAME????
“Let him burn” Wow got baggage Starscream
LMAO WINDLBADE IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY MESSING AROUND WITH THESE DUDES I love her so much omg
I just snort-laughed so hard at Wheeljack’s polite “allow me!” and Bee’s grin at that / Optimus’ “ B/ ” expression in response then the door IMMEDIATELY blowing up in his face, that was hilarious. I want a looped video clip of that
AW TEAM TWO, LOOKING COOL I was wondering where all the other Autobots were
SOUNDWAVE SITTING ON THE THRONE OMG???? I LOVE YOU SOUNDWAVE YOU DESERVE THE THRONE!!!! Soundwave’s the only person Megatron would ever let sit there
OH NO SOUNDWAVE’S SHOULDER LINE THINGS JUST FLATLINED, I’M SO SAD
THE DEAFENING SILENCE THAT FOLLOWED THAT ACTUALLY HURT MY HEART SO MUCH, SOUNDWAVE’S JUST SO SHOCKED
That just reminded me of the old “this is how you tell what Soundwave’s feeling!” model sheet
Ugh I’m really getting emotional over Soundwave’s reactions, I just have that on loop rn as I analyze them CYBERVERSE WHY YOU GOTTA HURT ME LIKE THIS
“Move aside” NOOOOO
SOUNDWAVE PLEASE DO WHAT YOUR TFP COUNTERPART DID TO AIRACHNID, THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME FOR THAT IM BEGGING YOU
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CYBERVERSE PLEASE DON”T HURT MY BOY
“Now is not the time” GIRL YOU PROBABLY SAVED STARSCREAM’S LIFE
That implies that Soundwave’s gonna kick Starscream’s butt later and I, for one, cannot wait to see that
“AND SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THESE LITTLE BUTTONS DO” lmao oh Starscream
Meanwhile the oceans and tides on earth are going haywire
OHOHO HERE COMES MEGATRON
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I’d be lying if I said I didn’t squeal in absolute delight when I saw him make this expression I LOVE YOU MEGATRON
Guess Soundwave’s not gonna get the chance to kick Starscream’s butt because Starscream’s not gonna have a butt left to kick once Megatron’s through with him lmao
OH SHOOT for a second I thought he was about to rip out Starscream’s spark
Starscream stans are really gonna be pissed after this episode lmao
Oh shoot is he actually gonna kill Starscream on-screen????
OH NO
DANG THAT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY BRUTAL??? HOLY HECK I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO BE THAT SERIOUS
NOT TO UNDERPLAY WHAT JUST HAPPENED but explosions in this show are drawn so pretty, I love how beautiful they look
CHEETAH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Shh! Optimus is speaking!” Aw Hot Rod you are Adorable
WELL. THAT SURE WAS AN EPISODE. I mean we all know Starscream’s definitely going to come back but DANG DUDE THAT WAS BRUTAL
This episode had some Quality Soundwave moments though so for that I am grateful. I can’t wait for the next one!
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allthephils · 6 years
Text
Repose
Chapter 14/?
Rated M (adult themes, mentions of sex, seeping beauty au)
word count: 2438 / 40,051
Read on AO3
Excerpt: Phil had never felt fear like this. The room closed in, his heart beat in his ears. Tears sat in his eyes but couldn’t spill over. His arms and legs prickled with adrenaline but he felt frozen in place. He ran to his room, pulling out his dresser drawer and dumping the contents onto the carpet. Rifling through, he found Dan’s Versace t-shirt and held it to his chest. Finally, the sobs broke through and he fell to his knees, crying into the shirt with a painful force. 
Chapter 14
The morning was beautiful. It had rained overnight and the world outside Phil’s window was clean and bright. He had gone to bed early, eager for a new day to spend with Dan. There was so much he wanted to tell him. He’d found a poem he thought Dan would like and had printed it to bring along and read aloud. He thought he might bring a few books to read as well. He chose the Outsiders to start with. It seemed like the kind of thing they could quote to each other later and he’d never read it so it would be new to both of them. Up earlier than usual, he took his time drinking his coffee and watched Louise’s new video. Everything felt normal, more normal than it had in a while and he basked in it. Picking up his phone, he rang his mum.
“Child.” Kath’s cheerful tone brought Phil right home.
Phil called his mother most weeks but hadn’t done since he’d first got the news about Dan.
“Mum, I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while. I’ve been busy, distracted.” Phil wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to hear her calm reassurances and her inevitable cheer leading. Instead he told her that he wanted to her soon, that they’d have to meet for breakfast because his days were full.
“Breakfast? So around noon then?” Kath jabbed at Phil but he just said, “No mum, I have to be home by noon.”
He told her he wanted to tell her what’s been going on for him, that he had good news but that it was too long a story to tell on the phone. He was done hiding. If he was going to fight this fight, he needed his family on his side. Kath was baffled at the mystery and the serious tone but she agreed and they made a date for the following week. When he ended the call Phil sat satisfied and feeling like today was the first day of something new. Something was going to change, he could feel it in his bones. He absolutely couldn’t wait to get in that car with Dennis. Phil glanced as his kitchen clock. 12:20. He’d talked to his mum longer than he thought, though that always happened with them.
Dennis had never been late before. He ran downstairs to see if maybe he didn’t hear the knock but there was nothing. No car at the curb, no Dennis. Maybe there was an accident on the road, traffic. He went back upstairs and sat on the sofa, waiting.
12:30. 12:45.
He had no way to reach Dennis, no way of knowing what was going on unless someone contacted him. 12:55. Phil’s stomach twisted into knots. He held his breath and opened Twitter on his phone. Just the usual cursed prince tabloid nonsense.
1:00.
If something happened to Dan, how would he know. He felt sick. If something had happened to Dan. What if he took a turn for the worse? They wouldn’t just leave Phil here, not knowing, would they? They wouldn’t let him find out in some awful Twitter headline that Dan had… He stop mid thought, unwilling to even consider the possibility that Dan could be gone.
1:10.
He picked up his phone and called Louise.
“Hey! They let you keep your phone today! Does this mean I get photos?” Louise was her usual chipper self but Phil broke at the sound of her voice.
“Lou, I’m not there. They didn’t come. What do I do Louise? Oh my god, what if he died? What if he died and they just aren’t coming?” Phil was near hyperventilation. He couldn’t catch his breath.
“Phil, listen.” Louise spoke slowly. “I’m on my way. We’ll go together and get to the bottom of this. Phil, breath for me sweetie. I need to know you're safe on your own till I get there.”
Phil took deep, slow breaths, gaining some small measure of control. “Ok, ok. I’m ok. I’ll be ok. Hurry Lou.”
Phil had never felt fear like this. The room closed in, his heart beat in his ears. Tears sat in his eyes but couldn’t spill over. His arms and legs prickled with adrenaline but he felt frozen in place. He ran to his room, pulling out his dresser drawer and dumping the contents onto the carpet. Rifling through, he found Dan’s Versace t-shirt and held it to his chest. Finally, the sobs broke through and he fell to his knees, crying into the shirt with a painful force. He stayed on the floor of his bedroom, playing through all the possibilities in his head. None of them were good. He heard the door slam and Louise called out, “Phil!”
When he look up, she walked past him and set a box on the bed. “This was outside your door. It’s addressed to you.”
Phil swallowed hard and stood. He shook so violently, he found it difficult to pull the tape off the box. For a long moment, he just stared at the still closed cardboard flaps.
“Phil, love, do you want me to…” Louise stepped forward but Phil held up his hand and shook his head. He carefully lifted one flap and then the others. When he saw what was inside, Phil gasped, his hand flying up to cover his mouth. The bottom of the box was littered with dirt from Loki’s pot, which lay on it’s side. The candles were there and the fairy lights, among broken glass from Phil’s terrarium. Everything was here, everything except Buffy. Phil reached in carefully and pulled out Loki, scooping as much dirt back in as he could manage, and straightening the little cactus in it’s tiny red pot. Phil stood tall, pulled his shoulders back, and wiped his tears. He closed the box and walked to the window, setting Loki on the sill, then turned to look at Louise.
“I’m ready. Let’s go.”
Phil had grown accustomed to waking up with Dan in his bed. His body was aware of the absence before his brain was fully awake. He fluttered his eyes open to see a blurry figured leaned against the doorway, arms folded like a catalog model.
“Dan?” Phil said, his voice thick with sleep. He reached for his glasses and put them on, with the sole purpose of seeing Dan. He couldn’t care less if the whole world was blurry so long as Dan came into focus.
“What are you doing?”
Dan’s smile was reserved but genuine. “Watching you sleep.”
“Ok creeper.” Phil joked, though his heart flipped, it’s one of those things people say in romantic stories and you laugh and roll your eyes. It’s not romantic, it’s creepy. Except it was romantic. If only because Phil understood the impulse. If he had a choice, his gaze would always fall on Dan. He had a twisting pain in his neck from sleeping half sitting up with Dan snuggled into his arms. He stretched and arched, cracking and popping, trying to set things back where they belong.
Dan just watched.
“You’re dressed.” Phil stated the obvious, disappointed at what that must mean.
“I have to go. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you, we were up so late.” Dan smirked, a light blush in his cheek.
“OK. Will you be back tonight?”
Dan shook his head, wistful. “I have to spend some time with my grandmum tonight. I promised.”
“Your grandmum? You’re hanging with the queen tonight?” Phil thought he’d never get used to these abrupt reminders of Dan’s actual position in life.
“I am. She wants to discuss university, my future, you know.” Dan shrugged. “I wish I could bring you. You are my future after all. It seems ridiculous to discuss any of it without you.” Dan’s phone rang out and he huffed. “I have to go before Dennis has a literal baby out there. I’ll see you tomorrow after work, ok?”
Phil nodded and smiled into the kiss Dan leaned in for.
Dan whispered I love you and left. The words drifted through Phil’s mind like soft waves at low tide, rushing in, idling out, rushing in, idling out. He heard his front door close and heard himself whisper I love you too to the empty room.
Dan was the kind of person that should listen to jazz and Brian Eno and paint in the middle of the night. He was the kind of person who chains himself to a bulldozer to save a century old tree. That’s how Phil saw him anyway. Designer trousers and penthouse parties and living in a literal castle didn’t suit him. As privileged as he seemed, and he was so careful to own his privilege, his life was oppressive to him. Phil’s free spirit, his self actualized vision for his life, it was more than Dan could ever hope for. He admired Phil and he envied him in a way.
He spent days off poking around the flat, exploring and learning Phil in more and more detail. Phil learned Dan too. He learned how he takes coffee and he memorized what he sounds like when he sleeps. He learned that he’s an incredibly loud and competitive gamer but that he smiles proudly when Phil finally beats him. And he learned that Dan’s circumstance and his family dynamic had invited more demons into Dan’s life than he could handle sometimes. He learned how to hold him and talk him through when those demons got too demanding.
When Dan showed up in the evening, his cheeks were red and he barely held back his tears.
“Dan?” Phil pulled him close held him in his arms. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Dan pulled away and paced the room, running his hand through his hair. “I can’t fucking do this anymore. I don’t want to. This isn’t who I am.” Phil watched as Dan moved about the room, manic. “But it is who I am, isn’t it? They groomed me like every prince before me, why do I have to want more? Why can’t I just be one of them so it doesn’t have to feel like this?”
“What happened?” Phil asked, trying to keep himself calm in the face of Dan’s distress.
“Paps spotted Dennis outside your place. Who knows how long they’ve been watching. They waited outside the shelter. Obviously, Dennis got me out a different way but they were out there, yelling. Asking what I’ve been up to, am I dating a commoner, am I gay? It always comes back to the gay question.” Dan stopped and sat on the sofa, looking up at Phil, his voice shook, “They stood outside a battered women’s shelter Phil. Shouting. And it’s my fault, because I won’t just grow up and fall into line, I brought that chaos to a place that’s supposed to be safe.”
Phil’s embrace knocked down Dan’s defenses and he sobbed, letting himself be held. Phil rocked and shushed him, fighting back his own tears. “It’s not your fault. I’ve got you. I’m here.”
Dan gathered himself, pulling back to look at Phil. “Phil I’m so sorry, Dennis’ threats will keep them at bay for a couple days but they’ll be back. They’ll wait outside your door. Fuck. This shit just follows me everywhere. I’m fucking poison Phil.”
“Stop it Dan. I won’t let you do that. You didn’t ask for any of this.”
“Well I certainly didn’t do anything to prevent it.”
“You spend every day helping people, every day. Then you come here and you make me happier than I’ve ever been. You’re not poison, you’re everything.” Phil’s voice cracked a bit and he drew in his own shaky breath, trying hard to keep it together for Dan but failing. “Let them wait, I never go outside anyway. In a couple days, we’ll both be gone for Christmas. We’ll wait it out. It’ll be ok.”
Dan cried into Phil’s t-shirt till there were no tears left then followed Phil into bed where he slept. It was the deep sleep of exhaustion and truly letting go, the kind that comes when the one you’re with is wide awake, holding space, helping you carry the heavy load.
They spent the next day their favorite way, in bed. The mood was heavy but they had each other and it was ok. They ordered every meal in and watched their favorite Christmas movies, Gremlins and Die Hard, not quite catching the ending of either of them. In between, they talked. Topics like the queen’s opinion on Dan’s future, university, and paparazzi, were off limits. Instead, they discussed the colors in Phil’s eyes and how he once ate fish food as a kid. They talked about the wonderful nanny that cared for Dan and Adrian as kids and how she bakes the most amazing mince pies. They listed all the places they wanted to travel to together. Tomorrow morning Dan and Dennis would drive Phil to the ferry to the Isle of Man and Dan would be on his way to Windsor to spend Christmas with his family. They’d be apart for just shy of two weeks but it sounded like an eternity.
Winter mornings meant bright, glaring sun through the window. Dan rolled away from light and into the warmth of Phil. Phil always slept so deeply with Dan there in his bed. He didn’t even stir as Dan hooked his leg around his, pressing himself close to Phil’s side, nuzzling his nose into Phil’s neck, breathing in gingerbread scented body wash. Dan pressed his lips there, feeling the rhythm of Phil’s pulse and there was a hum of sweet satisfaction in response. Phil turned his body toward Dan and his arms enveloped this treasure of his.
“It’s not daytime. Go back to sleep.” He murmured, squinting as he opened his eyes..
“It is daytime, it’s bright in here.” Dan answered.
“Close the blinds, we can pretend it’s night and then we don’t ever have to go.” Phil held Dan as tight as he could.
“Just close your eyes.” Dan said and he kissed each of Phil’s eyelids as they fluttered shut. “There. It’s night. We have nowhere to be.” Dan’s lips met Phil’s and they kissed, slowly first, then building in tension and heat.
Phil moved his lips across Dan’s jaw and and bit at his earlobe. “Good. I wanna give you something to think about when we’re apart.” At those words, he disappeared under the duvet and the quiet house filled with Dan’s sighs. Dennis would just have to wait a little bit longer.
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