#to remind myself I still can

[alexandra-emerson]

Marietta's Revenge

As I stir in the pearl dust, the color of the brew changes to that mother-of-pearl sheen to which I’ve become accustomed. Next, the rising steam turns into spirals, and I’m overcome by the scents of cinnamon biscuits, French cologne, and salty air.

I wave the steam away from my face and carefully pour in a nearby pitcher of water. The color of the potion pales. Now, it needs to simmer for thirty minutes so some of the potency can burn off. I set the spoon to stir in languide circles and put a timer on my wand before leaving the room.

Away from the steaming potion, it’s cold, and I pull my dressing gown tight as I walk through my flat. Back in the bedroom, I dress quickly. I avoid looking in the mirror. I already know the black trousers and tailored blouse I’ve picked suit my slim frame. I don’t need to see the proof.

I choose a dark green robe and toss it on the bed, then stand by the window, watching the Muggles scurry along the pavement below my window. Like bloated ants.

In the bathroom I clean my mouth, brush my hair, and wash my face. All without meeting my reflection. But soon, I can’t put it off anymore. It’s time to confront the face in the mirror. I wince, just like I always do. Did she have to make the pustules so close together? So dark? Did she have to ensure they’d leave a scar?

Rage courses through me as I dip a few fingers into Lady Hyde’s Cover-All. I spread the cream over the scars that still spell the word SNEAK.

It was one mistake. One. Bloody. Mistake. And looking back, I still can’t see what else I could have done. It wasn’t my fault the Ministry put the wrong person in charge. It wasn’t my fault that person ended up being a horrid woman who had it out for Harry Potter. That her actions almost got in the way of him saving the world damn world. How was I supposed to know all that? I was a kid! And my mum’s job was in danger! What was I supposed to do?! I—

My wand trills, breaking into my thoughts.

I touch it to silence it, smearing the smooth hazel wood with brown makeup. I scowl, hit my hands with a quick cleaning spell, then wipe my wand with a towel, causing sparks to fly out the end. I look at the unhappy face in the mirror, then watch my frown deepen as I see the faint marks under the so-called cover-all.

Cover-all my arse. It can barely conceal a few scars. And I’ll need to reapply it in a few hours anyway. Stupid Lady Hyde and her worthless make-up.

I throw the towel into the sink and march out of the room, back to my cauldron.

This is all Hermione Granger’s fault. Everyone says she’s perfect, the Golden Girl, a selfless advocate for the underserved. Well, I’m underserved, and undeserved, and I don’t see her trying to help me! She refuses to remove the jinx. She says she can’t, but I know that’s a lie. She could, if she wanted to, but she’s a vindictive bitch. 

Unfortunately for her, she’s not alone.

My potion is ready. I add the final ingredient—a strip of a Chudley Canons hat I stole years ago—and carefully pour it into six vials. After applying a cushioning charm to each vial, I slip them into a box, fill it with crumpled pieces of paper I tear from the Daily Prophet, then address it to my dear sister, Eliana Edgecombe.

I smile and plop back on the chair. I think of Eliana, and I wonder at Hermione’s stupidity. For the brightest witch of the age, she thought nothing of hiring as her assistant the sister of a person she so thoroughly wronged. Nor did she think anything of letting that sister bring her tea every morning. Of drinking that tea. Of never checking it for potions.

My smile is so large, it’s hurting my cheeks. My eyes land on the article in the Daily Prophet, which is at the top since I’ve torn off a few pages.

War Heroes Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley to Marry This Summer

I almost bend forward to read the article again, but there’s no need. I have it memorized by now. Hermione Jean Granger and Ronald Bilius Weasley will be married at his childhood home in June. They’ll be using traditional wizarding vows, complete with a soul binding spell.

I cackled when I first read that part. Even now, it draws a small laugh from me.

They almost broke it off several times. This isn’t in the Prophet. I learned this from Witch Weekly, which dedicated three separate articles to the mystery of why Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley always come so close to breaking things off while on holiday. (Eliana can’t provide Hermione’s tea every day.)

But they have no more holidays planned before the wedding. Three months. Just three more months, and I’ll be done.

Their souls will be bound, and Eliana will stop delivering special tea. That’s when Hermione will truly see the man she married, away from the cloud of teenage infatuation and potion-fueled adoration. She won’t see the prince from her dreams, but an ordinary man. Not a bad man, but certainly a terrible one for her. 

She’ll tear apart a dozen libraries researching marriage bonds, and eventually come to realize they’re inescapable. That she can either spend the rest of her life with Ronald Weasley, or alone. 

I don’t plan to tell her my role in it. I’m not stupid. But I don’t need to see the devastation first-hand. Simply knowing my part in it is enough.

I’m not the only one who will be forever haunted by a mistake from my youth.

I laugh. A loud, hearty sound that echoes around the cold and empty flat.

A/N: I wrote this for a recent writing challenge, where we were writing first-person for a character we've never written or considered. Hope you enjoyed it! It definitely gave a better explanation for Ron/Hermione than canon did, haha.

#hp fanfic #marietta edgecombe #harry potter fanfic #i wrote some words #to remind myself I still can

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

[zu-is-here]

[4/15] Happy birthday, Ink! ٩( ᐛ )و♪

Ink by comyet

Song: Eve – Outsider [LKing English cover]

#zu art #zu animation #animatic #ink!sans #undertop!gaster #zephyrtale!gaster #aster #undertale #undertale au #utmv #istg ​this wasn't planned at ALL :'D #but the song has been torturing my mind for ~2 months... #I didn't even know the lyrics but /he/ was on my mind— #so all thanks to Ink himself (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) #it's still far from canon Ink (researching is *head in hands*) but I really wanted to show my view on him (more like in pdc) <3 #*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* #and happy world art day everyone \(//∇//)\ #as you can see I learned how to /move/ pictures! >:D #finally realized that Cross tearing all the paper Ink left for him was an omen of him terrorizing AUs... ☆ #also ​funny story: I left myself a reminder to draw his suspenders by circling his backside #but then I successfully forgot about it and next time seeing it I thought I just praised his butt XD #ok see ya guys— zzz <3

[nonranghaes]

“well? do you like it...?”

felix sits next to you, wired earbuds shared between the two of you (sometimes you think he only brings them out when you’re around--just for the proximity) as he smiles. his fingers entangle with your own easily, slotting into place like he’s the matching piece of your puzzle. he acts as if he hadn’t been mouthing along to the chorus (i need somebody who can love me at my worst/no, i’m not perfect, but i hope you see my worth...), voice barely above a whisper at other parts, but his enthusiasm is cuter than that fact.

“you know i always like your song suggestions,” you turn your face away from him, heat rushing to your cheeks. “i liked this one, too.”

“is that all?” his other hand grazes his neck for a moment. he’s checking his pulse. you know what he wants to say, those three little words unspoken but known between the two of you this early into your relationship.

and if you have to be the one to say them out loud, then you will. you squeeze his hand a little tighter. face still warm. “... i love you, too.”

his thumb traces along the back of your hand, and he slides a little closer. he says nothing, but the kiss he plants on your cheek says all he needs to say: thank you for loving me. i’ll say it soon.

#nonranghaes.thoughts #nonranghaes.skz #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #felix fluff #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #felix x you #lee felix x you #he shared a song on bubble and it cheered me up so i wrote a lil. something. #just to remind myself that i can still write something #all my other attempts to write over the past few days have... failed tbh

[strawbubbysugar]

Absolutely dying at moon "ohh nooo me and my brother are so different from eachother now!! How awful!" Some yellow rabbit: "I can fix that." Ghvghghv

#ask #bethroned #bethroned art #bethroned spoilers #I’m trying to remind myself that all artwork for this au doesn’t need to be perfect and coloured pieces hsfgs #I can still be sillay #fnaf au #moon #dca #glitchtrap #fantasy #medieval #daycare attendant

[darlingod]

It’s just… it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his “SO OBVIOUS” exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.

Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Like… Ur super mean and hot, I can’t blame her.) Anyway.. it’s SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.

Jude thought Cardan’s (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: “Im trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,” trick.

I’m fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.

#IM JUST NOW REALIZING I SPELT THEIR WRONG AND IM SO EMBARRASSED #at least it was the right their😭😭 #THEYRE SO REAL LMFAOOOOOO #like they both were so hot ofc they constantly questioned the validity of each others feelings #if the last part didn’t make sense I’ll explain #she knew he had tricked her into exile and when Jude was like ‘can I pardon myself?’ she thought it was another trick to humiliate her #like girl it was to do THE OPPOSITE of humiliation #HE WAS SENDING YOU TO SAFETY UNTIL YOU COULD COME BACK AND FLAUNT UR NEW POSITION #but basically it revealed that he loved like Jude loves #that they have the same heart #(he’s not like the reg folk. he grew up around so many mortals as she did the folk) #but he’s a faerie so he doesn’t take caution to being unpredictable #Jude even knew: the folk could be humanlike but they (the folk) inevitably would do something to remind her that they STILL ARE folk #though she had too easily assumed that the folk acting like the folk meant betrayal #he thought the whole marriage thing had meant she fully trusted him #because he knew how hard it would be for her to give up her power over him #and he thought because that she had given up her ability to command him(comma) that she couldn’t doubt trusting him any longer #queen of nothing #the cruel prince #the wicked king #Jude Duarte #jurdan #cardan greenbriar #tfota #I’ve known them since I was 13 they’re much older in my stubborn pov #also me using the semi colon as if I’m sure that it’s proper grammar LMAOOOOO #confidence is key

[marblerose-rue]

basking in moonlight

#my art #jayfeather #wc #waca #warrior cats #wc art #HIIII sorry for not posting for like a month . got sick for a week + still in the throes of a hyperfixation HAHA #hope everyones 2024 is going well so far :] mines going good!!! #I ALSO HOPE YALL ARE STAYING WARM GOOD LORD .. it's cold and getting colder #classes start again in a few days so im really looking forward to that ^_^ #ive been drawing + writing a lot but ive just not been Posting . #but i Havent been drawing a lot of cats. so this was mostly to remind myself i can still do that HAHAHA #hopefully there arent any errors to correct bc im gonna go play bg3 for a while (to the surprise of nobodyLMAO)

[violent138]

There have to be times when Gordon preemptively assumes that Batman's vanished. Like if there's a break in the conversation or a vital clue's been shared, without looking he says, "I guess we'll have to ask our questions next time," and Dent goes: "Or we could ask him now? He's right next to you."

#Gordon (double take): You're still here!? #Batman: I can... leave? #Dent: ????? #Or when Gordon tries lighting a cigarette after a meeting #and nearly jumps out of his skin because the vigilante reminds him he was supposed to quit. #how embarrassing for him #but I know I'd get conditioned too in expecting batman to vanish #politely turning to give the guy some room #Jim gordon #batman #bruce wayne #batposting #dc comics #harvey dent #EDITED: For numerous spelling and grammatical errors to keep me from launching myself into the sun

[fox-on-the-moon]

just a little tip for fellow autistics: if a doctor asks “can you do x?” what they really mean is “can you do x without pain?”

Generally, if you just say “yes i can do that” they will assume you can do that thing painlessly and without issue at all times. you need to clarify “i can but it hurts a lot” or “i can only do this sometimes when x and y” etc.

They will also generally assume you won’t do things if they hurt too much, but a lot of us deal with pain very differently than an allistic person might. Even if some pain doesn’t stop you from doing something, you should still tell them you have it, it still “counts.” If you are not visibly (to them) showing signs of pain, they will almost always assume you don’t have any and you need to tell them otherwise.

#actuallyautistic #i keep forgetting this myself so maybe its helpful #for someone #bc like if only id known this at 16 lol #reminder that allistics are very very bad at reading cues that are different from their own #also #please look at the 1-10 scare with explanation for every number if youre like me you might have a wrong idea of what each means #'i can feel the pain constantly but still do almost everything' is already a 4

[w1lmuttart]

Very simple melody I know, I just wanted to practice using the tempo track in GarageBand 👍

#it’s embarrassing to say but I got a bit obsessed with this melody over the course of this week #I feel like there’s more I can do with it still but I’m gonna leave it as it is for now #I need to remind myself that when you’re still a novice it’s ok to make simple compositions lol #w1l tunes

[mueritos]

a small moment of kindness that touched me today. speaking about our struggles as grad students in class with classmates. our small group is all BIPOC; another latine and two arabs, one who is palestinian. we are speaking very honestly about our fears and frustrations. feeling useless. feeling scared. upset at the world and its horrors. angry at other peoples' silence. but at the same time so so full of joy and hope. i talked about being scared of being forgotten, and we continued on with our group task of creating a liberation health triangle.

professor transitioned us back to the full class and while our professor began speaking again, my Palestinian classmate--so beautiful and with the most wonderful curls--leaned close to me and whispered "I'll never forgot you." I almost didn't hear her so i whispered back, "what?", and as sweetly as the first time she said, "I'll never forget you. And I'll never forget what you said last semester. You were the first person in this entire program who spoke of your frustrations. I felt less alone."

the walk home from class was very cold, but i could not help but let myself repeat the moment in my head over and over again.

#muerto talks #the way we are all forced to carry on because of the horrors of this world #and we can still choose to be kind to each other #what i took as a frustrating and vulnerable moment in my 10 am class last semester #was a moment where she could find some solidarity in someone else's words #and my small comment about being scared of being forgotten.... #i just #man let me appreciate the small moments of joy and love please #we are so exposed to cruelty and i have been seeing war and murder and violence nonstop #i spent the rest of class giggling and joking with them as we did our class role plays #it had been a long time since i had laughed that freely #i need to remind myself of this joy #it is so so important to #getting emotional writing this but it was beautiful

[5-pp-man]

i havent seen anyone talk about this but Arajin and Matakara remind me of Taichi and Touma so much man.

small dark haired guy chasing a girl he likes. major inferiority complex. complicated feelings about his childhood best friend that have to do with those feelings of inferiority, causing him to initially avoid him now that they're in high school. Said childhood best friend has no parents and only has his big brother left. He idolises his former friend to a fault, and still calls him by a childish and overly familiar version of his name (Tai-chan, Ara-chan). hes tall and fit and seems to be popular / well liked, but all he really cares about is his (former) best friend.

the bigger one has kept a memento of their friendship for years. best friend power. best friend stone.

ao no flag was all about making choices. bucchigiri is about not running away and facing things head on. with the way things are going for bucchigiri, it's inevitable that Matakara and Arajin will reconcile, just like Taichi and Touma did

well. maybe not exactly like they did...

#i dont actually think bucchigiri will go there. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE THOUGH. #anf was honestly just as surprising. i was there. it was insane. so who knows? sometimes miracles do happen. #bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri #ao no flag #blue flag #ao no flag spoilers #blue flag spoilers #i know its been years at this point but still. tagging just to be safe. #tedpost #tedtalks #this is also one of the reasons why i cant bring myself to fully hate arajin. #he reminds me of taichi and i have such a weakness for that guy. i was there suffering along w him. #EDIT; added the name thingy i forgot to include that

[dawnbreakersgaze]

"Dawnbreaker's dark silhouette was an intangible enigma, black coat vanishing into the shadows of the night." - Still in Dark

I have a problem, and the only solution is more Dawnbreaker, apparently.

#enjoy the 4 am edgelord edits bc all i can think about is seeing this man in a dark alleyway and making bad choices with him 🥴 #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #lnds #love & deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne #li shen #love and deepspace zayne #dawnbreaker zayne #kay's edits #reminding myself of my myspace editing days 🥲 14 year old me would be so proud lmao #idec he's still hot even when emo

[darkfire359]

You know who I love? Edward Teach.

He's capable of such great selflessness and bravery: saving Stede's crew from the Spanish, taking the blame from Stede for Nigel's death, stepping in front of the firing squad, and taking the Act of Grace.

Yet he's also capable of such terrible cruelty: ordering a man flayed alive for a single insult, making a crewman kill his own dog, drowning someone who'd just tried to help him, burning a ship full of people alive, and of course the toe thing.

He's innocent and naive: curling into a ball and crying repeatedly from having done something bad, not understanding passive aggression and getting easily hurt by the French partygoers, and getting easily manipulated by Jack.

He's a charismatic manipulator: wowing and making friends with Stede's crew while keeping his hands on his weapons the whole time, flipping on the “insane eye-gouger” persona like a lightswitch to effortlessly intimidate the French captain, and even inventing the very concept of fuckeries (using fear to rule people).

He wears his emotions on his sleeve and is terrified of abandonment, getting easily heartbroken by Stede (and arguably reacting in e10 in large part due to fear of Izzy leaving him as well). He's stoic enough that he barely reacts at the mention of good crewmen dying for him.

He's a masochist who flirts by pointing a gun at his crush and asking them to stab him, and who asks his ex to whip him in the balls. He's a sadist who loves maiming people and who fed people their own body parts for a laugh. He's a goth who got his entire crew to wear black leather. He's a lover of pretty, bright colors who rocks a pink gown and made his first mate put purple bows in his beard.

He concocts brilliant plans but forgets the day's date. He's a master of the sea who thinks nature is annoying and stupid. He's a proud cannibal who loves sugar and sweet desserts. Sometimes he de-stresses by building a blanket fort, and sometimes he gets a pistol and tries to shoot up an entire party. He's a cute princess who can just as easily be a terrifying villain.

Ed is the most EVERYTHING of anyone on the show. It's no wonder so many people are in love with him.

#edward teach #blackbeard #our flag means death #ofmd #Izzy Hands #Stede Bonnet #to be clear I love Ed in an entirely ace way #but I can see what Stede and Izzy and Black Pete are going for #anyway this post is inspired by the Izzy antis and their terrible takes on Ed #sometimes I'll see them characterize Ed+Izzy situations so poorly that I almost get upset with Ed himself #but no #it's good to remind myself that Ed is still the best even if I disagree with some of his other fans #Ed is complex and flawed and probably not good-aligned but he deserves hugs and love anyway #he is dangerous and unhinged and combining that with his big puppy eyes only makes him more adorable #why would you want to take that away from him?

[caught-a-dragonfly]

Claire Novak study

#claire novak #wayward sisters #spn fanart #a study that turned into a bit of a doodle #needed to remind myself i can still art T-T

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Some midnights, you’re out and you’re buzzing with electric current — an adventurer in pursuit of rapturous thrill. Music blaring from speakers and the reckless intimacy of dancing with strangers. Something in this shadowy room to make you feel shiny again. On these nights, you know that there are facets of you that only glow in the dark.

It’s giving, “Best believe I’m still bejeweled, when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer, and when I meet the band they ask ‘do you have a man’ and I can still say ‘I don’t remember.’” It also gives, “I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around it.” It’s, “Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?”

But. BUT. BUT!!!!!

it also gives: “I washed my hands of us at the club, you made a mess of me. I pictured you with other girls in love and threw up on the street.” It’s “I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car, I stopped receiving invitations.”

it’s “don’t you ignore me, I’m the best thing at this party.”

On these nights, you know that there are facets of you that only glow in the dark.

this part is reaaaaaaaaaaally sitting with me right now. It’s now part of you is desperate to shine but only when no one is watching. Or dimming it when everyone is watching.

it’s… a lot.

#midnights #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #writing letters addressed to the fire #lyrics parallels #I feel like I #not articulating myself well but something in my brain is screaming right now #bejeweled #high infidelity #hits different #you’re losing me #also ‘when they ask do you have a man I can still say I don’t remember’ #reminds me of ‘I’ve got a boyfriend he’s older than us I haven’t seen him in a couple of months I go through phases when it comes to love’