#tw talk of self harm

[onceuponamillennia]

why i shall never look at lemon meringue pie the same again (or, why lemon meringue pie should symbolise angst)

lets take a look at what jamie was making in his clip in the movie:

okay so we have pie crust and yellow filling

not a longshot to say that it's lemon meringue pie or at least something inspired of it.

and as we also know this is also what jamie was making when Emily found out he was sh ing (brb gonna cry)

anyway fast forward to the show: (tw scars)

so here we can see what looks to be a mini pie crust OR possible a biscuitbase but i'm going for with the latter, and also yellow filling (like i said, lemon meringue pie) and ofc meringue. it's not icing its meringue because he uses a blowtorch (cool beans :]])

so!! new recipe, mini lemon meringue pie-esque thing. i want to try. what else happens in the making of this pie (that sentence's physics are very off what):

okay i dont need to spell it out

essentially the idea is:

the dessert jamie was making when he sh'd too deep and ended up in the hospital was inspired off the same recipe he was making when emily found out about his sh

thank you for coming to my ted talk ^^

#boiling point #boiling point bbc #boiling point series #boiling point fandom #jamie #emily #tw scars #tw talk of self harm #legends know i yoinked the last screenshot from a previous post /j #boiling point headcanons #i shall never look at lemon meringue pie the same again /lh

[ghostnamedmem]

I wrote a poem thingy, its about self harm and recovery and shit, dont read it if its gonna trigger you, pls take care of yourself<3

It also has some heavy religious symbolism and stuff ig?

Wash me clean of blood and scars but they still burn under the surface

Demons clawing at my skin trying to rip free and a thousand screams murdered by the sweet blade of a knife- or maybe a dagger- as nightfall begins.

I urge to release them from their flesh prison,

A blade made my tool to draw on lines never washed off, not really.

And as it burns i remember all the times its burnt before and how releasing demons never did anyone any good

All you're left with is guilt and shame and something to hide.

To truely be clean is to make peace with the demons and live along side them, and slowly they will stop trying to tear their way through and emerge a different way, through art and music and writing and song.

Some might even ascend to become angels, though be careful because the devil is easily mistaken for an arc angel though his body count is twice as high.

Ive always wondered if we, as people, become our demons or if our demons grow into us? But now i suppose thats our choice, and those around us', to make and it grows with us as we slowly descend into the pits of graves and crematoriums.

#i went to a christian primary school #it kinda fucked me up a bit #gave me a bit of an obsession with the darker side of religion bc i was forced to believe in it so i got out of it the only way i thought i #could #idm though it wasn't too bad and it doesn't really affect me anymore #tw sh related #tw self harm #tw talk of self harm

[savingoursanity]

In the wake of accidentally cutting the bottom of my foot on a piece of glass I was reminded why self harm exists as a coping mechanism and/or form of self medicating to an extent.

I want to preface this by saying that I'm not encouraging self harm as a method of coping; I do not have any personal history with self harm, but I can conceive if only in part why people resort to it. Because lemme tell you as highly neurotic basket case with really wonky sensory processing my mind and body often don't like me very much so I tend to feel weird a lot in more ways than one. So while my foot felt terrible from the shard of glass that lodged into the fleshy underside, the rush of endorphins resulting from the process made the rest of my body feel great; I immediately felt more grounded and my mind felt sharper.

Of course this is gross oversimplification of the underlying mechanisms of self harm, but it was oddly fascinating to be reminded how the body is biologically wired to respond to pain. So while I would not recommend the experience and I definitely don't intend on purposely repeating the experience, I can see how that bodily response could ultimately be used to regulate and cope. Because beyond the mental and emotional aspect of control in the action of self harm, we are also very much sensory creatures and it's very hard to regulate in mind if our bodies are also not having any of it.

#tw minor injury #tw talk of self harm #tw self harm #cw self harm #sensory processing disorder #anxiety #mental health #coping mechanism #just to reiterate this was not self harm #i was just a klutz who broke a small glass plate and did a very poor job of cleaning up after myself #savingoursanity

[skyfire-the-pokemon-biologist]

I can't feel anything right now. I don't know how to feel, I don't know what I'm feeling if I'm feeling anything at all. I want to claw my insides out. I want to scream, I don't know how to feel, I don't know what I'm feeling. I can't seem to care about doing anything right now. I feel a tightness in my chest. I don't like it.

#tw talk of self harm #tw breakdown #rotomblr #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #irl pkmn #pokemon #pokemon irl #rotumblr #irl pokemon #pokemon rp

[frogdaqueerfloof]

I was watching a youtube video [one of click's entitled parents bingo videos] and it triggered me into remembering something and it fucking hurt.

When I was younger, my "mom" told me not to be friends with people who self harmed because they would "Bring you down" and bullshit like that, basically saying to avoid people who self harmed at all cost. She also would say that people who committed suicide were selfish and only thought about themself and they went to hell and shit

but, as a kid I self harmed. I didn't know it counted as self harm because i never left any lasting marks [except picking at a freckle until it turned into a scar and lost all its color], it was mostly just scratching myself with plastic knives and lead pencils and scratching my scalp and the like, never properly cutting with like a knife or anything. And as a kid, I was suicidal, and I knew it. I don't really wanna get into it, just know i've gotten better since then and I've not had a proper suicidal thought in a few years

I've only really recently come to terms with my self harming habits, and thinking back on it... Yeah, i'm hurting pretty fucking bad.

I really need therapy...

#vent #tw talk of self harm #tw horrible parents #tw self harm #tw parental death #tw past suicidal thoughts #ask to tag

[aritany]

On Identity: The Truth

Content warnings: homophobia, transphobia, references to self harm and suicide.

I’ve been keeping secrets my whole life.

I’m 10 and I’m listening to my dad at the dinner table, who I know to be the most trustworthy person in the world. He talks about the legalization of marriage between two people of the same sex and asks us to consider the implications. Where do we draw the line in the sand? Legalizing gay marriage paves the way for legalizing pedophilia, after all. If a union between two men or two women isn’t disrespecting the sanctity of marriage, what’s next? Marriage between men and animals?

I’m 11 the first time I hear it: “It doesn’t matter how low I set the bar for you, you still can’t reach it.”

I’m confused and afraid—I’m trying so hard—but I hear it then, and again, and again, spoken low in disappointment, shouted with a vein popping in her forehead, cold like a fact, and it sinks in, bone deep.

I’m 12 with my first crush on a girl. I’m not confused, I know that’s what it is—I want to kiss my friend, and I already know not to talk about it. Never to talk about it. It isn’t safe.

I’m 13 and doubting. I throw myself into fitting in. I pick the right boys to like and I go overboard, and I do like them, I do, I do, I want them to like me, I want to be their friend. I want to be their equal, but that’s not quite how the story goes, so I settle for trying to hold hands with somebody I desperately crave respect from, but that’s wrong too, I learn. 

I’m 14 and convicted. How could this be wrong? I brush hands with a girl in choir and we meet eyes and I know. I watch a gay kiss on TV and I sob into my hands and I tell no one, no one, no one.

I’m 15 and I come out to my mom, haltingly, with the terminology that I have, because the thought of hiding forever—keeping quiet through one more dinner—kills me.

She tells me no. She tells me I’m wrong.

I look in her eyes and I understand: it’s not an option, and it never will be.

I’m 15 and I do my best to stop there.

It doesn’t work.

I’m 16 when I first hear my mom say that you can love someone and not approve of their lifestyle. I wonder what kind of love that is. I wonder how that kind of diluted, half-hearted, patronizing love can be enough for anyone. I wonder if she’s thought about how that feels, to be told that who you are—not by choice—is fundamentally wrong.

I’m 16 and a boyfriend is a shield. The right choice, so I make it, and it’s even almost fun. I love being his friend. I’m afraid of anything more.

I’m 17 and my youngest sibling whispers, “So am I.”

My heart breaks for the pain they’ll experience, as they too are taught, painstakingly, how to hate themself. Which parts of themself have to be kept hidden, which parts are shameful. They sit at that dinner table and hear the rhetoric that pushed me to the brink and over it, and I hope they’re stronger than I am.

They aren’t.

I’m 18 and my mom works at a college for the performing arts. I sit and curdle quietly while she talks about her genderqueer students. Misgenders them behind their backs. Deadnames used flippantly. She knows better, after all. She can be the expert on somebody else’s identity. They’re mentally ill, all of them. None of them are happy. They’re searching for something only God can provide.

I’m 19 and I come out as bisexual to the man I’m certain I’m going to marry, tearing the secret out like a bandage fused to skin. He tells me of course it’s fine, that he supports who I am. Of course people like me should have rights, of course. I laugh, relieved. Later, I find out this moment was almost a dealbreaker for him, and I wonder how much was ever real.

I’m 20 and I’m out. I’m 20 and I’m free. I’m 20 and I believe, because I’ve been told, that I am loved for who I am. All of who I am. I still flinch when I hear a car door slam.

I’m 21 and I’m searching for the connection to my womanhood. I’m searching for what makes a woman a woman. I’m reading gender theory and talking to friends around the world and wondering exactly what it is that I’m missing.

What does the rest of the world know that I don’t?

I’m 22 when my marriage ends because my body might not be attractive to my husband one day, and my parents email him in support and solidarity, expressing sympathy, and I’m not surprised.

I’m 22, and standing up for who I am has cost me everything. A spouse, two sets of parents, financial security, a city’s worth of community, more childhood friends than I can count. My parents tell me to go back in the closet so my ex-husband will love me. To them, his frustration is understandable, of course—by presenting androgynously, I’m betraying my marriage vows, after all.

I wonder, stunned into silence, where I promised to look like a woman.

I’m 23 when I come out to my parents for the third time; not as bisexual, not as trans, but as hurt. 

I lay out the pain of the last decade as succinctly as I can, hoping they’ll hear. When I assert that yes, to be in relationship with me, use of my name and pronouns is a requirement, my mother jokes, “Well, we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

It’s not a joke.

I see the flash in her eyes, the instant regret as she laughs it off like it’s funny, but it isn’t.

The kid sitting at the dinner table knows it’s not a joke. The kid who listened to countless lectures on the morality of queerness knows it’s not a joke. The kid who stood with shaking hands and tried to bleed out the bad knows it’s not a joke. Years of casual bigotry taught me how to hate myself, which parts of myself I should cross out and ignore, which parts of myself I should be ashamed of.

I’m 23, and I have finally unlearned shame, and when I ask my parents to see me, the joke is that I’m a terrorist. I’m unreasonable.

The shock of it becomes a balm, later on.

Some jokes aren’t funny.

Some jokes aren’t jokes at all.

I’m 24 and I’m learning that it’s scary to be alone. Bigotry made me an orphan and made us strangers, and knowing that it’s the right choice to stand up for myself doesn’t make it any easier. I’m learning the only way out is through, if you’re not squeamish:

Cut off the part of yourself that’s 7 years old standing outside of their bedroom because the nightmare had teeth and claws and they are the heroes that will hold you close and make it warm again.

Amputate.

Cauterize.

Don’t let them see you bleed.

I’m learning that the wound takes a long, long time to close.

I’m 25 as I write this, and I am proud of who I am, even if I’m still bleeding. All of who I am. It’s taken a long time for me to let that person see the sun, but here we are, basking in the glow. Those wounds are healing. I am visible for everyone else who whispers, “So am I.”

Your sunshine will come. Your sunshine will come. 

Your sunshine will come.

#long post #alex talks #tw transphobia #trans day of visibility #international transgender day of visibility #tw homophobia #tw suicide #tw self harm

[silverskye13]

And is there a God up there? So, where does he hide?

Doing some style studies based on @/katabay's comic work. I highly recommend you check out their stuff, if you haven't seen it before.

#spazzcat doodles #redstone and skulk #helsknight #tanguish #tw blood #blood #religious imagery #tw self harm #kind of?? #ritualistic self harm?? #we'll get to talk a little more about his saint in the story later but until then #have these strange doodles

[morrigan-sims]

And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.

As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.

#ts4 #ts4 edit #the sims 4 #sims 4 edit #my edits #ts4 render #my renders #blender render #oc: Rook #dnd sims #ts4 dnd #please I beg of you open this in a new tab and look it it. it's 2080px across and I spent way too long on tiny details. #(like the blood on the shards of glass on the sink. and the mirror alone took well over an hour...) #augh I love my boy so much #he's really going through it right now tho #poor bby #but when he's going through it I'm having fun playing him so... #yeah #blood tw #tw blood #so this is scheduled to go up right as we're starting our session picking up from exactly this point. #I thought that would be thematically fitting #please listen to this song it's so good and it's very Rook. #I almost put the lyrics right after this line (''I saw my reflection on the street that night / he said I got something to change your life #/ he said you don't look wrong but you don't look right'') #bc yk mirror shit. But I ended up going with this line instead because it's VERY VERY fitting for the conversations going on w/ Rook. #specifically about his reckless endangerment of himself to the point where some of his party members consider it to be self-harm. #(and obviously punching a mirror intentionally is self-harm.) #but like Rook doesn't see it that way and he's so confused as to why the party is so upset with him. (esp. his mentor and the gunslinger.) #god I could talk about this ridiculous man for hours so I'll stop here.

[vulcan-moon]

dont talk much abt this but this is a milestone worth celebrating! longest ive ever been sh free for since i started struggling w it as a teen. here's to another year ig!!

#text post #ik its not but thats like my talking tag hdhd #tw self harm #just in case ppl dont wanna see it #but yeah screw my birthday its also my sober date which is more important fjbd #wild how much some of my scars have faded too #some are still kinda puffy and red but im prone to hypertrophic scarring so yknow. also they were p deep so its expected #but yeah one year!! and im. much much happier for it

[yearningsaphic]

Is anyone else not able to be in relationships because it gives you anxiety, your fear of a abandonment and your self-sacrificing tendencies as well such intense emotions you don’t know what to do with them and they end up turning into sewersuicidal thoughts?

#tw self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #tw s3lf harm #tw sh related #tw sui ideation #tw self h4rm #tw sh implied #tw self destructive thoughts #tw sewerslide #willow talks #miscellaneous #misc. #misc.txt

[chiyeko-kurea]

tw!

hi<3

if ur an adult (or at least 17+, since im 18), a styro cvtter (maximum beans/fascia but i don’t cvt that deep personally) with an aching need for a close sh friend (or friend in general :D) with who you can talk abt sh (and vent together, etc..), exchange sh pics and vids, and has a deep rooted soul-eating chronic self hatred, DM ME!❤️

i neeeeed a close sh friend with who i can exchange pics/vids, ask for advice and be really close with, since no one irl really knows about it or they wouldn’t encourage me in it :(

#988blr #988twt #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #$h tw #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #tw s3lf harm #self haarm #self mutalition #styr0blr #styroblr #tw styro #made of styro #slef harm #styro #slef harn #tw sui vent #tw sh related #tw self h4rm #tw sui ideation #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #tw sui talk #tw destructive behavior #tw sui implied #su!cidal

[ghostnamedmem]

Aaaaa i think im making progress!! I had a (albeit a small one) breakdown and i didn't sh i wanted to but like I didn't!! And i had the opportunity to but I didn't like i fully could have ahsibdjs this is amazing to me omfg

#tw sh related #tw self harm #tw talk of self harm #mental health #progress!!

[genderkoolaid]

okay something ive been curious about is how people feel about their self harm scars. because mine are really important to me and I honestly feel love for them, and i enjoy when they are visible.

also this includes people who have any kind of permenant mark from self harm. and tbh if you have only self harmed in a way that leaves temporary marks then feel free to answer this too, or if you used to have some but now they aren't visible

#also this is not bc i get a lot of compliments on them #lord knows almost every member of family has said Something about them & my mother made me cry the first time she saw them #but they are important to me and i feel comforted by them #they feel like something very personal & smth thats truly my own #i absolutely do not blame people for having any sort of reaction towards theirs #my cousin has been getting his covered by REALLY fucking sick tattoos n im very happy for him #im just curious bc i dont feel like ive ever seen someone talk about their relationship w their scars in a way that feels similar to mine #m. #self harm tw

[noisymentalitypirate]

Wanting to recover is all fun until some people around you get invested in your recovery and you start to develop frustration and hatred towards them because they prevent you from self-destructing.

Obviously you don't tell them because it would destroy your relation, but you really want them to SHUT THE FUCK UP

#$h tw #988blr #988twt #beansblr #cvtaddict #hitting beans #hitting styro #s3lf harn #s3lf mutilation #s3lfharmm #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #slef harm #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$hblr #$elf h4rm #$elf harm #cvtt!ng #cvtblr #sh cvt

[oroniusn]

I feel the need to remind people because I’ve made mistakes like this before (covers safety when it comes to sh cuts)

988twt language not used layers of skin are referred to by their actual names/color descriptors)

Only tagged this way for reach, tw for some tags

I am pro recovery: anti recovery/pro @na dni (interaction on this post is ok, just don’t follow my account)

(Epidermis) cuts that look like cat scratches need to be disinfected either before or after breaking skin but can usually go without bandaids

(Dermis) if you hit white it needs to be disinfected before AND after, way higher risk of infection, I’d also suggest bandaging it as leaving these wounds in the open can cause complications

(Fat) if you hit yellow it needs stitches and or actual medical care, these have an insanely high risk of infection, bandages should be changed regularly and everything MUST be kept sterile

Don’t swim in rivers/creeks/the ocean/public pools with ANY open wounds.

along side this, try to keep track of major arteries to ensure you don’t nick them, as this can cause you to bleed out far faster then just hitting a vein; arteries are carrying blood away from the heart (it has more pressure behind it)

Symptoms of infection: Redness and swelling, heat at the wound site, pus or other drainage, fever/chills, swollen lymph nodes, delayed healing.

So what can be used to disinfect the site/blade?: skin safe alcohol, iodine, hydrogen peroxide (only for use on the skin, it’ll rust your blade), Vodka or Moonshine (burns like hell, BUT technically an option?), warm water (hot or boiling water for the blade, make sure to dry well to avoid rusting) and unscented soap (baby soap works well)

Always check that the blade you are using isn’t rusted nor showing signs that it might be starting to rust. (Stainless steel is your friend)

feel free to add on in comments or reblogs, I’m happy to make edits/add to this post!

#sh related #tw self harm #harm reduction #If you’re going to do it #Yeah yeah I get the whole point IS harming yourself #but most people I’ve talked to have no desire to get a severe infection #Feel free to add on in reblogs/comments for anything I should update or change #tw self h4rm #tw self h@rm #self mutalition #cvtt!ng #cvtaddict #sh cvt #i wanna cvt #styroblr #hitting styro #made of styro #beansblr #tw styro #988blr #styr0blr #hitting beans #cat scratches #baby cvts

[emry-stars-art]

@neilimfinejosten requested cats/cuddles and. I got one of those things

shout out to getting me to decide on my Sir and King designs!!

(Requests have since been closed - I’m here to post the ones I got over the holidays 😊)

#the first panel was part of a joke #Andrew tells Neil #why are you talking to the cats they do not understand you #but the second Neil leaves the house - #anyway #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #sir fat cat mccatterson #king fluffkins #requests #holiday requests 22/23 #tw sh #self harm #tw scars