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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years

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Let’s talk about the B in LGBTQ. A recent CDC poll found that 5.5 percent of women and 2 percent of men aged 18-44 identify as bisexual, which is significantly higher than the percentage of women and men who identify as lesbian/gay (1.3 percent and 1.9 percent, respectively). Even many people who don’t identify as bi have swung both ways at least once: 17.4 percent of women and 6.3 percent of men age 18-44 surveyed have had some same-sex contact.

Yet we don’t hear all that much about bi rights. But bisexual people still face discrimination, often from unexpected sources. Here are just a few of them.

Mental Health Professionals

YouTube vlogger Connor Manning recounted an awful encounter with a therapist who told him that he isn’t really bisexual. Instead of offering him proper treatment, the therapist spent a half hour trying to convince him not to call himself bi.

About the incident, Connor says,

What if I was someone who was freshly questioning their sexuality? …For a lot of people, especially those seeking help for their mental health, these things are an issue and they’re confusing and scary. To have someone who’s supposed to be a resource I can trust, someone I can open up to, try and invalidate my identity was really deeply sad to me. I also talked to a few people about it after the fact and they told me that this is something that happens all the time, unfortunately.

Research confirms this. A 2007 study published by Columbia University Press found that more than a quarter of therapists assumed their bisexual clients needed therapy for their sexuality. About a sixth saw bisexuality as a symptom of mental illness. Seven percent of therapists in the study tried to convert their bisexual clients to heterosexuality; 4 percent tried to turn their bisexual clients gay or lesbian.

Unfortunately, the misconception that bisexuality isn’t a real, unique sexual identity is very common. It’s so common that bi rights activists have an expression for it: bi erasure. Bi erasure is pretty much what it sounds like: Insisting that bisexuality isn’t real and that bisexuals are “really” just confused straight or gay people.

Faith Cheltenham of BiNet USA says that bisexuality is often subsumed under ‘gay’, but in reality “being gay is as different from being straight as being bi is. It’s not being half straight, half gay… you’re going to have a completely different life cycle experience from your gay peers.”

A young bisexual person going through that unique life cycle might feel lonely and confused and seek a therapist for help. If that therapist just turns around and tries to suppress their sexuality, it’s devastating.

What’s especially alarming about this is the fact that bisexuals (especially bisexual women) suffer from mental health problems at a higher rate than the rest of the population. They need help more often, but they’re less likely to get it if they have to fight uphill just to have their sexuality acknowledged as real.

Immigration Officials

Since 1994, United States immigration policies have recognized persecution for LGBTQ status as grounds for asylum. However, it’s not always easy for bisexual people to gain asylum. In correspondence with Unicorn Booty, Apphia Kumar, a bi rights activist, wrote that Immigration officers aren’t properly trained to handle bisexual asylum seekers, and often don’t understand it. “They have the incorrect perception that bisexuality is a choice or can be hidden in the face of persecution or that our identities depend on the gender of our partners.”

Recently, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit denied a bisexual Jamaican man asylum on the grounds that the man wasn’t “really” bisexual. Why not? Because he was married to a woman, even though he had dated men before and had been repeatedly assaulted for having sex with men.

Claiming that someone isn’t “really” bisexual because they’re currently an opposite-sex relationship is like claiming that someone isn’t really bilingual because they only speak one language at a time. It’s a ridiculous attitude based on broken logic. But immigration officials, even well-meaning ones, reinforce this misconception. Via email, Kumar noted that immigration lawyers often don’t understand bisexuality or they don’t consider it strong enough for an asylum claim, so “to increase the chances of someone getting asylum, they advise the asylum seeker to apply as gay or lesbian. This in fact increases the trauma of invisibility and doesn’t allow us to be our true selves in the long run.”

Their Partners

Bisexual people face a higher rate of intimate partner violence than straight or gay people. According to a 2010 survey by the CDC, a staggering 61 percent of bisexual women are raped, physically abused and/or stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetimes, compared to 44 percent of lesbians and 35 percent of heterosexual women.

Bisexual men face unusually high rates of domestic violence as well: The number is 37 percent of bisexual men, compared to 26 percent of gay men and 29 percent of heterosexual men. Interestingly, the majority of this violence is coming from an opposite-sex partner. Ninety percent of bisexual women report being abused only by a male partner, and 79 percent of bisexual men report being abused by female partners.

Why is the rate so high? LGBTQ-rights activists say it comes from cultural stereotypes that paint bisexual people as immoral and undependable. Queer activist Lola Davidson writes, “A big factor of violence towards bisexuals comes from the oversexualization of bisexuality in the media and pornography. Bisexuals are often portrayed as very promiscuous and morally-ambiguous, often cheating on their partners or threatening their identity in some way.”

Stephanie Farnsworth also believes that anti-bisexual domestic violence comes from insecurity and fear of infidelity. She writes, “Checking through messages, demanding that no alone time is spent with a person of any gender and isolating one from friends suddenly becomes the norm because bisexuality is still read as wanting to have sex with anyone and everyone even though this disregards the logic that no one would ever expect a heterosexual person to fancy everyone of a different gender to them.”

We can find an example in this in the allegedly abusive relationship between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard and the media’s trashy response to it. Gossip rags suggested that Depp’s violence stemmed from Heard’s bisexuality, that he was afraid she would cheat on him with a woman.

Sadly, when bisexuals are abused, they might not have anywhere to go for help. At a Bisexual Community Issues Roundtable at the White House, one bi survivor of intimate partner violence told a heartbreaking story about being rejected by a battered women’s shelter:

The shelter staff told me I didn’t belong there, that they only served women abused by male partners. They referred me to a new gay community anti-battering project. That group also turned me away, saying that I was bisexual, not gay, so they couldn’t help me. What I felt too angry and defeated to say back then was, “Why can’t services be designed with bisexuals in mind? If we design services sensitive to bisexuals, they end up being responsive to both heterosexual and gay people, too, don’t they?”

The Media

Unfortunately, the media does a lot to reinforce negative stereotypes about bisexuality.

On television and in film, bisexual characters are usually portrayed as schemers, manipulators, and hedonists. Depraved bisexuals are so common in fiction that they even have their own TV Tropes entry. Here are just a few well-known examples from the list of evil, unhinged, monstrous bisexual characters:

Obviously, it’s not inherently wrong to portray a bisexual character as a bad person. But it’s a problem when an overwhelming number of dramas associate bisexuality with evil.

That Depraved Bisexual trope mostly applies to male characters. Female bisexuality is often presented as a performance meant to titillate men, or a way for a woman to sow her wild oats before settling down and having a “real” relationship with a man. The Daily Beast writes:

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to unpack the appeal of this falsified narrative of bisexuality. The concept of a bisexual or lesbian woman who needs to be “saved” from her own sexuality is essentially a revamping of the classic damsel in distress narrative, with the male character’s conquering masculinity cast in the role of hero. The character of the bisexual woman offers the potential for a killer combination of girl-on-girl action paired with the possibility of heterosexual redemption.

But it’s not all bad. We’ll always have Darryl, the goofy, paté-loving boss on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Non-fiction isn’t much better than entertainment media. Bi erasure abounds here, as news publications and biographers have a hard time acknowledging that bisexuality even exists. Many real-life bisexuals, past and present, end up referred to as either straight or gay. When actress Amber Heard announced that she had a girlfriend at a GLAAD event in 2010, the press called her a lesbian.

When actress Anna Paquin discussed her marriage to actor Stephen Moyer, Larry King asked her some really clueless questions:

King: “Are you a non-practicing bisexual?”

Paquin: “Well, I am married to my husband and we are happily monogamously married.”

King: “But you were bisexual?”

Paquin: “Well, I don’t think it’s a past-tense thing.”

Larry King: “No?”

Larry King, syndicated talk show host, holds a weirdly common misconception that bisexuality means constantly having sex with men and women simultaneously.

The LGBTQ Community

The queer community treats bisexuals like a redheaded stepchild. Gays and lesbians often have the same negative attitude toward bisexuality that straight people do. A survey published in the The Journal of Bisexuality found that bisexual people receive only a little less discrimination from gays than they do from straights.

Bisexuals make up about half of the queer community and have always played a significant role in the LGBTQ rights movement, but they receive disproportionately little support in return. In Forty Years of LGBTQ Philanthropy: 1970-2010, Funders for LGBTQ Issues reports that bisexuals receive the least amount of funding out of all targeted LGBTQ sub-groups, less than 0.1 percent. Gay men received the most funding.

Back in 1999, Dan Savage told gay men not to get into relationships with bisexual men. Savage has softened toward bisexuals since then and insists he’s not biphobic, but in a more recent thinkpiece, he totally dismissed the concept of biphobia and suggested that bisexuals were to blame for discrimination against them because they weren’t out enough. Savage also wrote that it is “difficult for me to accept a bisexual teenage boy’s professed sexual identity at face value.” That’s not very different from clueless straight people who think that gay teens are just going through a phase. Coming out as bi is hard enough without getting shade from the people who are supposed to be your allies.

Bi people have to fight to make their voices heard in the queer rights movement. When they express their sexuality, they are often met with hostility. Bi activist RJ Aguiar says that when he wore his #StillBisexual shirt to the 2016 LA Pride Parade, he was “met with a lot of silent, sideways looks, and even the occasional remark like, ‘What are you doing here? This isn’t for you. Go home.’ “

Telling a bisexual person that they’re not welcome at an LGBTQ Pride Event is appalling. The queer community has to do better, and stop trying to chase the B out of LGBTQ.

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 3 years

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It would be one thing if Harry had a performance that week. I’d fully expect him to meet that obligation even with Fizzy’s passing. But going to a fish market and being papped coming out of a gym and meeting Rob S for lunch at the pub next to his house when Rob would know about Larry and going drinking with Liam Gallagher with fans knowing they would be there ... nope. Larry had broken up by March 2019. Harry was no longer Louis’ partner and the Harry Styles star train kept going that week.

Let me emphasize, it’s not about Larry. I couldn’t care less whether they were together at that time or not.

It’s about being a decent, respectful human being.

Reading the room.

Knowing the appropriate moment to hitch your hungry star to the passing shiny glittery celeb, because your desperation for industry legitimacy and relevance fucking REEKS.

Because being a good person is hardest when circumstances are the most challenging. It’s easy to be nice when rainbows are shooting out of unicorn asses and you’re protected by big money and Sony. It’s hard when you have to sacrifice something personal, so someone else can have a moment of peace. Because that moment will live in memory forever.

But Liam Gallagher is UK musical royalty and you couldn’t pass up the chance, even though the timing was at a fucking nadir for someone you should care about, someone who would have the compassion and kindness to do that for you if the situation were reversed, even if you broke up, even if you weren’t on speaking terms, even if only the barest, thinnest friendship existed between you, because it’s the right thing to do, because sometimes a small kindness is forever appreciated and all you have to do is to step out of the limelight for a few days, because you don’t always have to be a crass, selfish, LOOK-AT- ME! egocentric, psychopathic, constantly self-aggrandizing, insecure, robotic prick.

#harry styles #27 november 2020

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bombasticpoetry · 3 years

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I saw some unicorns frolicking 'neath the Joshua Tree

I stopped and took some time to wonder why they're always three

when they stopped their dance and turned to look at me

"When one of you is Chained the other will be free"

I knew just what to do when I came home for the night

I sat waiting for my brother without nary a light

He did not 'spect my coming, hardly put up a fight

I hope that oxen chains will not be too light

Was not until the morning that I thought to kill his wife

If she were to speak there'd be no end to my strife

I stuck her in the neck with her son's new pocket knife

He did not stand in awe at the slipping of her life

He bolted from the house without a second's tarry

I knew just what to do to meet the words of the fairy

I loaded up my rifle with tone and manner merry

"I hope you're faster than a bullet, beloved nephew Larry!"

My first shot found the ground - my second found the tree

I knew would not be long for the village came for me

loaded up on horses with guns and hate and glee

I knew it would not be my brother chained so that I'd be free

#poem #poetry #my mom gave me a dip pen and I had to test it out

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nimarasnetherworld · 5 years

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Random Beetlejuice the musical headcanons

(I'm sorry if most of them are about Delia but she's my favorite character and deserves some love!!)

- Beetlejuice comes back a few weeks after the events of the musical and moves in with the Deetzes/Maitlands. At first everyone freaks out but then they get used to it.

-Scaring Delia has become one of Lydia and Beej's favorite game.

-One time Beej scares her so bad she starts crying and he feels bad and try to confort her (probably by offering her a rat which makes her cry even more)

-Delia is polyglot. But nobody knows that so when she starts speaking another language everyone's lile O_O

-Beej can't get Delia's name right he always calls her Debra, Deborah, Delilah, Diane....

-To get back at him she calls him Larry.

-Charles and Delia have their wedding ceremony in the garden so the Maitlands and Beej can be here.

-Charles is the only adult in the house that Beej didn't manage to kiss...... yet.

-Lydia and Delia become a lot closer after the events of the musical. They both understand each other a little bit better.

-One time Delia dresses entirely in black and everyone freaks out. ("Did someone die?", Are you dying?","are we in another dimension?"). She just liked the outfit.

-Deetzes/Maitlands double dates are a thing. At first it's just really awkward. It's still a little bit awkward.

-Sometimes Beej just hides in cupboards. He doesn't scare anyone he just stays in it. No one knows why.

-Beej always messes with Delia but he actually likes her. She reminds him of Miss Argentina. Except that Delia is easier to scare.

- When the Deetzes have guest it's always weird. Beej just likes to seat next to them and tell stupid things while they have to act normal.

Also not a headcanon (since it is canon) but Delia is scared of Unicorns and I think that's amazing.

Don't hesitate to reblog and add your own headcanons!!!

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #delia deetz #charles deetz #lydia deetz #beetlejuice broadway

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slvtbible · 5 years

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his two girls

your one year old baby is the most precious and adorable little creature harry and you have ever encountered and you are the most precious and beautiful woman Harry has ever laid his eyes on

[this is really short but I haven’t write anything in a while so i hope this dad!harry piece will make it up to you:)]

“Dada!”

Harry peers his eyes off from the laptop to the empty hallway, hearing his baby’s little footsteps running towards his office. A small smile appears on his face, shutting his laptop close as he waits his baby to approaches him.

This normally doesn’t happen to Harry. Before Elora, Harry would never ever abandon his work or emails, even for you and the two of you often argued about that. Reassuring you with kisses and dinner date as an attempt to make it up to you making your heart melt and gave in.

But now after Elora was born, there is nothing in this world that Harry wouldn’t do for her. Nothing. She has him wrapped around her tiny finger, the pout and squishy chubby cheeks that Harry has completely smitten over won his heart multiple times and he hates how whipped he is. You often remind him to not spoil her too much or else she’ll grow up to be a spoilt daddy’s girl that always have to get what she wants.

Yet, Harry doesn’t mind,

“What is it pumpkin?” He asks, rising up from the seat as his small baby making an appearance in the doorway. A baby pink bodysuit clads her chubby figure with two tiny ponytails. He sometimes calls her ‘Boo’ from Monster. Inc because she looks so much like her.

“Dada” she repeats, giving him a toothy grin as she spreads her arms, wanting him to carry her. “Up up”

Harry looks down at his babygirl, chuckling to himself as he shakes his head. “Is tha’ wha’ you want little booger? For me to carry you? A little menace you are” he grabs her under her armpits and huddle her close,

“Where’s mommy, baby? Hm? Have you seen her?” He questions, walking out of the office and struts downstairs. He catches a feminine figure standing in the kitchen, cooking one of his favorite dish. But you haven’t realized he’s here yet,

“Momma” your baby squeaks out, chubby hand holding on his shoulder but her eyes looks over at your figure,

“Mommy is busy cooking at the moment bub. Let’s do something fun, yeah?” He suggests, walking over to the living room and set her down on the floor,

He grabs a few of her toys. My Little Pony figures and tiny cars for her to play. He sets himself down in front of his baby who’s busying herself with the pink unicorn toy.

“Wanna watch something too, bub? What do you want to watch? Elena of the Avalor? Dibo? Moana? Barney?”

Her big brown eyes looks up to him as soon the name Barney falls from his mouth. His lips twitches into a smile in a realization that his baby wanted to watch the purple dinosaur and sing along with her daddy.

“Okay baby, let me search it for you.” Grabbing the remote, he goes to the Internet searcher and types few of barney episodes. Soon the familiar intro rings through, making Elle snaps her head towards the screen.

“Who’s that baby? Who is it?” He prompts his baby cutely who has a big smile on her face,

Clapping her hands, her tiny butt rises from the floor repeatedly in attempt to dance making harry laugh. “ ‘arney!” She yelps cutely, continuously to clap her chubby hands,

His tattoed arm makes it’s way to gently brush the hair on her head, careful not to ruin the hairdo. “That’s right baby, that’s barney!”

Elora continues to let out adorable baby voices and nonsense words that Harry cannot understand but who does? He’s just happy that his baby is happy. The last time he has seen her was a long time ago and he feels like a bad father who keeps missing out on his own baby’s life.

Even you. God, words cannot properly describe how much he misses you. Nights consisted only him sleeping alone in different hotel rooms that doesn’t smell either of his two girls. They smell strange and unfamiliar. Like any hotel rooms should have smelled. It didn’t feel right.

Harry sometimes wonder how could you survive the chaos throughout being with him. Six years you two have been together. Facing through the storm and heavy rain alongside eachother. The beginning of your relationship with him was not easy. Some of his fans— who he doesn’t even wanna call them that— are constantly up in your ass about the ‘Larry’ theories. It disgusted him in so many ways but he knew that they won’t stop no matter what he would have done. That wasn’t even the worst part.

He knew about the fans who compared you to his past flings. Kendall, Nadine, Camille, Taylor have always been the most beautiful creatures in their eyes. Telling Harry behind the screen that he made a mistake by choosing a path with you. But the thing is, he didn’t. He didn’t make a mistake by starting a family with you. If only they knew the horrible things his exes had done in the past— and now— but he finds that necessary to talk about it now.

They are beautiful, yes. He wouldn’t lie about that. But you? God have mercy, you are fucking gorgeous. Your figure, your features, your mind, your soul, your smile, your laugh, your ability to make people laugh, he can go on and on what he finds gorgeous about you but they’re too many.

And then, he has this baby. This smart, adorable, multi-tasking baby that can anything she wants from her dad just by giving him the ‘look’. He still can’t believe that you and he had made baby elora. He still can’t.

“Momma?” He hears his baby speaks, her eyes are now looking at you in the kitchen. “Momma!” She yells with a big smile,

Hearing a cute and familiar voice speaks out, you turn your head around. Grinning to yourself and turn the stove off before making your way towards your handsome husband and your adorable baby,

“Found little one running to my office. Thought something happened. Turns out she only wanted me to carry her” Harry jokes, tickling the side of her chubby belly a little causing her to let out the most adorable baby giggle ever making both of your hearts swell,

You sit down next to him, smiling over at your baby“Did she? Did you run and interrupted Daddy, baby? Hm?” You ask in a baby voice, smothering her cheeks with your kisses making her giggle uncontrollably

Pulling away, you grab her tiny hand giving it butterfly kisses. “I think she misses you. She’s glad you’re here.” You say without looking at him,

He smiles, kissing his baby head. Sighing soft to himself. Picking her up from the floor and place her on his lap, bouncing her to keep her distracted “I’m glad I’m here. Don’t wanna be away from the two of you anymore. Couldn’t bare it.”

The way he speaks like that feels like he’s in a pain. Or more like he’s guilty. Ever since he came home from tour and sees how big Elora have gotten while he’s away, he feels like a terrible father. Six months after Elora was born he went out on a tour for 8 months. The only way he could only see the two of you is through skype and it hurt him a lot. The band heard him cry in the dressing room each night before the show. They feel bad but there was nothing they can do about it. It’s his job, he had to do it regardless.

Before he had you and Elora, he believed that the fans are everything to him. He couldn’t live without them, because if it wasn’t for them then who was? They gave him everything.

But now that changed. He met you. Talked to you the first night the two of you had met and he fell hard. Like, really really fucking hard. He knew you were the one for him. His instincts were never wrong,

And now, here he is. Married to you and have a beautiful and adorable babygirl. His priorities changed drastically since then. No one could ever tell him differently.

“H..” you start, brows furrowed at how pain he looks at the moment. He’s not looking at you anymore instead setting his attention to his daughter who has her tiny mouth wrapped around his ring cladded finger, chewing and leaving a drool on his finger tip. But he doesn’t stop her,

“You are the best father, i and Elora could’ve ever asked for. You had done everything for the two of us, please don’t ever think you aren’t good enough. You have a job, darling and you must fullfill that. As your wife, you have my 100% support on this. I married you, remember? I knew all the consequences that came along. I knew all of it. I love you, baby. I will never stop.”

He pulls off a small smile after, looking over at you with his eyebrows raised in reassurance. Though knowing that you wouldn’t lie about something like that to him. He trusts you.

“Yeah? Still feels like i haven’t given the two of you enough. You girls are the loves of my life. Don’t know what i would do if i didn’t see you that night at the party.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” You say, half joking. Thumb rubbing small circles on your baby arm,

He frowns, shaking his head quickly. Pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “No. I wouldn’t. You are the most kindest, beautiful and sexy wife, God has ever given to me. I’m very thankful for that. I was glad to matched up to your standards.”

You laugh a little at his cheesy comment, six years of being together he still managed to get you to blush like a little schoolgirl. You love that feeling.

“How about this. You and i don’t have to go to work tomorrow? Let’s go to the Zoo. Elora has been whining about wanting to see the elephant and giraffes. Then we can go eat ice cream and watch a movie. How’s that sound?” You ask, running your hand through his short hair making him sigh in a bliss.

He smiles at you, eyes fulled with adoration and love he has for you and he doesn’t ever want to give someone else that look. Ever. “I’d like that baby. Finally, a full day with my two favorite girls.”

Smiling, you lean towards him and kiss him softly on the lips. You can feel him smile against your mouth as he mumbles the word, ‘i love you’.

Your smile gets even wider, and before you get the chance to say it back, you hear a small whimper coming from your baby. The two of you pull away and sees her mouth forms into a pout, wanting a kiss too.

Harry and you laugh at your cute baby, knowing just what to do to get her parents attention.

“Alright alright, baby. Come join the family kisses.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagines #dad!harry #harry styles #harry styles one shots #harry styles writings #harry styles blurbs

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we-thefairfolk · 4 years

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❛Take me with you ! for luck, for laughs, for the unknown.❜ @ sal (dragonsandevenmore, Jalia)

the last unicorn sentence starters || accepting !!

The boy sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he nervously looked away from her and back to the building not too far from them. Here he was again, in the treehouse Larry had showed him.. with a dragon of all things.

“ L-Look, uh.. ” he hesitated, blue eyes looking back at the dragoness behind his prosthetic, “ As much as I’d like to, I have to.. remind you that, well, people barely believe in ghosts, let alone dragons- You’re bad ass and all but.. I don’t wanna risk you getting kidnapped.. or worse. People have.. very different reactions to weird shit. ”

“ N-Not that you’re weird or anything! You’re not.. well, to me. But I dunno if I can speak for everyone else.. ”

// @dragonsandevenmore

#dragonsandevenmore - jalia #🤘 It's A Prosthetic || Sal #* hope this works for ya!! ilu #* im so excited for thisssss aaa #* ive been waiting for the bro time man #* and i hope its okay and i skipped ahead so they already kinda know each other #* cause i feel like we keep doing so many first encounters jsdhbjfnsdf

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gerbiloftriumph · 4 years

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Captive Crown

(also on ao3)

Someone wanted the newly crowned King of Daventry and all his friends dead. Someone got close, once.

(warnings for the whole thing: kidnapping, bruising, starvation, nightmares, healthy dosage of angsty musing, sicfic, story-coherent vehicle for all my favorite ch2 headcanons)

~*~*~

6/7

(1: to steal)(2: to hide)(3: to seek)(4: to find)(5: to break)(6: to mend)

~*~*~

The goblin ropes were hard, scratchy, and tight. He clutched at the arms of his throne, twisting, but he couldn’t free himself, no matter how much he struggled and pulled and fought. He was alone in the throne room, bound to his own seat of office, ropes biting into his wrists and arms and shoulders, and he yelled for someone, anyone, to come, please.

The far door creaked open agonizingly slowly, and though the ropes kept him at attention already, he stiffened. His fingers curled into fists and he swallowed, trying to slow his panicked breathing, to stop the little thrills of fright shivering across his skin.

Wente edged into the throne room, bowing and scraping and anxiously tying and untying the knot holding his apron in place.

Graham sighed, relieved, and sagged against his restraints. “Wente! Stars, Wente! I am so—” But he hesitated, a twist in his gut warning him that something was wrong.

“Your Royal Highness, most noble sir, I, I don’t mean to intrude, but, ah, it’s…oh dear.” Wente kept ducking and bowing, not daring to look at Graham for more than a fraction of a second at a time. Why? “Please, Sire, I’m sorry, but I can’t. The shop. I can’t. Taxes. Er. I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I know it’s for the kingdom. But I can’t. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t even be here. Um.”

“Wente?” Graham tried to lean forward, but the ropes had no slack at all. “What?”

“I can’t. I don’t. That is. Maybe an extension. I know you’ve given me so many, but maybe just one more. I can make it work with one more. Definitely.”

“Wente, please!”

“Bramble’s pregnant, you see. So, it’s. Not. Not her fault. The guards said it was for her safety. Until the taxes were paid. Not that I, uh, think it’s a lie. I would never doubt. But she can’t be locked up, sir. Not because of me, and the money. I promise, you’ll get every coin. I just can’t…now.” He edged closer a fraction of an inch, head low.

“Wente, release me this instant!”

That finally broke through the nervous chatter, but it didn’t help. Wente flinched back and collapsed onto the carpet in a low bow, nose pressed against the floor, and said nothing more, and didn’t move again.

Graham stared, dread settling over him like a suffocating blanket. “Wente? Can you hear me?”

No response. Wente shivered in terror. If Graham held his breath, he could just hear the baker muttering, “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,” endlessly.

And then, slowly at first but suddenly an inferno, he melted into ash and smoke, like he’d been struck down with dragon fire, and there was nothing left, nothing at all—one moment Wente was there, and the next he was gone, forever.

Graham shrieked, rocking back against the throne, but the ropes wouldn’t let him move, wouldn’t let him look away, wouldn’t, wouldn’t—

But almost immediately he froze, scream bitten off, as Amaya stumbled forward, her hair half burned away. She yelled that the dragon was at the gate, that he needed to hurry up and do something about it, but not send her back, no, gods please don’t send her back, she would do anything, anything he wanted, just please, she’d just escaped, don’t send her back.

“I would never—”

The Hobblepots clamored for attention, wailing that there was nothing they could do, that the fields were burned up and that they had nothing to give, and then they were gone too, and the royal guards scattered, and the whole room was going up in smoke and flame, embers flying off the curtains in blazing orange and yellow, and Graham struggled against the throne but no one could hear him.

“No, wait—”

Bramble cowered in chains, and the Merchant huddled in a corner clutching his unicorns close, and the light was fading from Triumph’s eyes, and Daventry’s citizens were clawing at the smoldering carpets, asking him to let them live, and Graham pleaded with them, and apologized again and again and again for not helping them, not doing what they wanted him to do, but no one heard him, and he couldn’t free himself, and the throne room continued to fill with smoke and ash, and he heard the dragon roar.

“Please, I don’t know what to do!”

His voice echoed in the sudden perfect silence. The room was empty except for gathering smoke curling around the pillars.

He could feel a presence next to him, and he twisted but he still couldn’t see, and out of the stillness he heard Manny’s low chuckle and a whisper, “Ahh. You’re not doing a very good job, are you?”

Manny slipped from behind the throne and stood before him, taller than expected, taller than he should have been, armor streaked with dragon ash. He stepped closer, studied Graham, and then punched, his gauntleted hand driving deep into Graham’s stomach and forcing all his air out in a wheezing gasp. He jabbed him again in the chest, high and hard, and Graham coughed and spluttered. Again and again, harder and higher, whispering, “All hail the king” with each blow.

The last jab blazed through his throat, ice cold and burning hot at the same time, harder than even an armored hand should have managed, and Graham couldn’t breathe at all, and he looked down, and found a purple-shafted arrow sticking through him, pinning him to his throne, and he looked up, frantic, as the ash and shadows pressed around him, vision blurring with tears of pain and terror, and he couldn’t make out the details on the shape in the door, not really, but he knew who stood there. Knew the slope of disappointment in those familiar broad shoulders. Knew the disappointment dripping off the arrow, like blood. Like death.

He screamed.

~*~*~

He screamed, and screamed, and screamed, and the nightmare shattered like glass. He found himself lying tangled in sweat-soaked sheets, staring up at the royal bed’s canopy. His throat burned, and his chest ached, and he tried to free a hand to rub where the arrow had hit (no, there was no arrow, it was a dream, stop, breathe, please, breathe), but his arms were twisted and pinned to his sides. He’d tossed and turned so much that the sheets had bound him up, and he was too weak to fight them back.

The door slammed open, bouncing against the bookcase behind it, and one of the guards skidded in, boots sliding along the wooden floor. “Your Majesty! What’s wrong? Are you okay?” No3 stared at him for a second, then whirled back to the door and shouted, “Distress! Someone get in here! Distresssss!”

More aches and pains started announcing their presence, like they’d been anxiously waiting for him to wake up to be acknowledged. He tried to sit up. Couldn’t. His lank, sweaty hair was in his eyes, and he tried to toss his head and achieved absolutely nothing but a sharp stab of agony in his neck for his trouble. There was no hiding this, no pretending everything was fine. Not now.

“Help,” he whispered, ragged. His voice sounded wrong, deep with fatigue and pain. “Please.”

No3 was talking to someone he couldn’t see. “Are the Hobblepots awake?”

“It’s four in the morning,” No1 said doubtfully.

“Check the kitchen first,” No3 said. “Be willing to bet anything. Get them in here, quick!” A brief pause, the sound of clattering footfalls fading down the hallway, and then she said to Graham, overly loud in her fright, “Your Majesty, we’re getting help now. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

Graham tried to acknowledge her with something dignified, but it came out like a choked sob.

“What can I do?” She hovered nervously at his side. He shifted his shoulders deeper into the pillow, squirming and trying to free an arm. “Here, let me.” She gently started unwrapping the tangled sheets.

He sighed and instantly regretted it; his throat burned, like he’d eaten firepeppers raw by the handful.

“Is everything okay in here?” Larry asked from the door.

Kyle peeked over his shoulder. “Thought we heard a distress call. Graham? Er. Your Highness, I mean. Highness Graham? You…you look awful.” He rushed in and tripped over the bed pedestal, overbalanced, and bounced on the mattress.

No3 glanced up. “If you’re going to be in here, you’re going to help!”

“What can we do?” Kyle asked. “He looks near death.”

No3 had managed to pull Graham into a sitting position to untangle the sheets tied around his chest, but at that remark, everyone froze, even Kyle, and No3’s nerveless hands let go of Graham, and without her support he collapsed helplessly back into the pillows with a squeak of surprise.

“No no no no no, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound like it did, I’m sorry,” Kyle wailed, clapping a hand over his mouth so that everything he said sounded muffled.

Larry desperately tried to fix things, touching Kyle’s shoulder and saying, “Of course you didn’t,” in an uneasy falsetto. He kept babbling, “But, I mean, it’s all okay. If we needed someone to rule temporarily, Whisper could d—"

Every head snapped in Larry’s direction. Larry paused, realized what his mouth had gone off saying, and backpedaled with a lame, “—efinitely not do it. Definitely not.”

“I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere,” Graham managed, propping himself up on one elbow. For a moment, anyway, before his elbow wobbled and gave out, dropping him into the pillows. He tried to speak again but was interrupted by his own terrible, damp coughing. He scrabbled at his aching throat, wheezing.

“Yeah, for now,” Kyle mumbled distantly, and then, eyes wide, pressed both hands over his mouth again.

No3 bristled and flung a pillow at Kyle. “If you’re going to act like this, you’re going to leave. Both of you.”

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me, I’m so sorry Graham, I don’t mean it to sound like that, you know I don’t, I’m sorry—but,” and this was a hastily muttered aside to No3, “I mean, look at him!”

“I am. That’s why I sent for the ‘pots!”

“Oh. Um. Do you…think they’ll actually be helpful?”

Graham’s throat moved from firepepper-burn to swallowed-several-cups-of-broken-glass, and he could feel a headache kicking up on top of everything else.

Nos 1 and 2 were next in, saying that they’d found the Hobblepots and that the alchemists were on the way and what could they, the royal guards, do to help in the meantime? Tea? Coffee? Pancakes? Fluffed pillows? A teddy bear? A large and well-meant hug? They crowded around the bed, and all went rather quiet when they saw their pale king awash in sweat, laboriously drawing breath and clawing at his own neck. No one seemed quite sure what to say or do, and everyone stood around helplessly, eyeing each other with increasing apprehension while Graham shivered in fever-soaked blankets.

Muriel came bustling in, fire and fury, Chester a few paces behind. She seemed to be in the middle of a long, angry rant to the air: “—and you didn’t say anything? Do you have any idea what could have happened? That noble attitude you’ve got is going to get you killed!” She quieted when she saw the little crowd at the bedside, but only for a second. “Everyone back up, let the poor thing have a moment to himself.” She started pushing people aside with more strength than a little old lady starved in a cell for a week and a half ought to have. “King boy, tell me. How are you feeling?”

“Not fine.” His voice cracked around the words as he fought back another cough.

“Little wonders. What’s wrong, specifically?”

“Everything.”

She clicked her tongue and put her hand against his forehead. Frowning, she caught the skin under his eye with her thumb, pulled, looked at his pupils, and said sharply, “Open your mouth and say ‘aaaaaah.’”

“Gaaahhrgh.” He winced and clapped a hand to his throat.

“Mm-hmm. And deep breath, deep as you can,” she said, pressing her hand to his chest.

He tried, but it felt shallow. She didn’t look pleased. “Again.” After the second, equally pathetic try, she went for his wrist and felt for a pulse. “Chesterrrr,” she trilled.

“Hang on. You wouldn’t believe the books in here! This one shows how to catch a dragontoad without getting burned! I’ve never been able to do that!”

“Chester Hobblepot, are you reading? Get over here now!”

“Yes, dear.” He shuffled forward, stuffing the book into some unknown pocket deep within his robes with a perfectly innocent smile.

“Double check my work,” she said, inspecting Graham’s fingers for swelling.

Chester started to reach out to rest on Graham’s forehead but pulled back sharply. “You could fry my breakfast egg on your face, my lad!” he said cheerfully. “Might we get you to hold a teapot for a moment to boil it? I’d love some chamomile. You might, too.”

Graham groaned and stared pleadingly at the canopy above him for some divine intervention.

“All right, all right, just a joke,” Chester said, doing much the same motions that Muriel had a moment earlier, though with more poking and prodding around Graham’s ears and nose. “Interesting,” he said to his wife under his breath. “Could get ugly.”

“Could get ugly?” Kyle said, leaning over Graham’s prone body. “You mean this isn’t ugly?” His hands pressed into the bruises on Graham’s legs. Even through the blankets, the sharp pain made Graham yelp. Kyle shrank back, apologizing frantically (though without understanding why this time).

“You haven’t seen anything in my sick room if you think this is as bad as it can get,” Muriel said, darkly. She eyed the spot where Kyle had pressed against Graham with suspicion. “When did this start?”

Graham swallowed. “Yesterday…? Before helping Bramble. Didn’t hurt. Just a little dizzy.”

“Well. You’re lucky, at least.”

“Lucky…?”

“Imagine if you were still locked away when this fever kicked up properly.”

He blinked, horrified realization clicking into place.

“Those stressful conditions. You said your cell was constantly wet, yes? It’s a miracle it didn’t start earlier. Now.” She looked at him, shaking her head. “We need to move you, for just a minute. We can’t leave you in these damp sheets. You all should have gotten fresh linens out already,” she added, glaring at the guards. “Haven’t you ever tended someone before?”

Graham tried to get his elbows underneath him so he could sit up, but his body had dealt with more than enough in the last week and refused to listen to him. Every sprain, scrape, and bruise clamored for attention.

Impatient, No1 scooped him up with ease, and Graham dangled in his arms like a melodramatic painting subject. The guard’s armor was cool against his skin, and Graham leaned his feverish cheek against the man’s breastplate with a sigh of relief.

Around him, though, the room took on a decidedly tense atmosphere. Guards 1, 2, and 4 had seen and gently washed the scrapes and cuts from the tips of his curls to the bottom of his toes and were unaffected, but 3, Kyle, Larry, and the Hobblepots were staring, openmouthed. Graham cracked open an eye and blearily considered what had them rattled.

His bare legs hung over the guard’s arm; he realized that his men had, rather than dressing him in his usual nightshirt and trousers, gone for just a long nightshirt. Which…okay, fair enough. He wouldn’t want to force an unconscious deadweight into anything more than that either. This shirt just reached his knees. Wouldn’t have normally raised any sort of comment but for the fact that his shins were covered with finger shaped bruises. Like he’d been gripped tightly by dozens of rock hard hands. Flipped upside down. Shaken. Nearly every night. For a week and a half. He deemed them less unpleasant than they’d been earlier—many were fading off into a rainbow of green and yellow instead of that awful purplish-black color. But the flickering firelight did sort of emphasize them a bit more than expected.

Muriel clicked her tongue angrily and pressed her own finger along some of the fresher marks. Graham sucked in a startled breath and she drew back. “Add some salve to the list,” she said to Chester. “We can get these healing faster, if we pull out a touch of that green ice scale.” She turned and clapped her hands. “Come on, it’s not that interesting. Get those sheets replaced, now.”

~*~*~

Graham sat on the edge of the freshly sheeted mattress, slumped against one of the royal guards sitting beside him for support, while No2 gently wrapped his legs in bandages to keep the green-tinted salve in place rather than staining the bedclothes. The icy medicine numbed the aches in his legs the moment it was applied, and he felt like he was floating away from his own bare toes.

No2 laughed quietly to himself as he knelt there. “Do you remember addendum 867530? Daily foot rub?”

Graham hesitated—it felt like months ago—then grinned. “Light touch, wasn’t it?”

In the corner of the room, Chester and Muriel were debating, checking vials, crushing leaves, mixing up gloppy looking ingredients. After a while, Muriel turned to No3 and said, “I need a cup of strong chamomile tea for His Majesty.”

Chester nodded sagely, muttering, “Told you all so.”

She glanced at him and added, with a trace of a smile, “And also a cup of hot chocolate for Chester.” Chester licked his lips and reached into his pocket. “Just hot chocolate,” Muriel snapped. “Not including whatever he’s about to hand you.” Chester withdrew his empty hand.

The guards folded Graham under fresh bedclothes, being careful not to jostle bruises and scrapes as they did so. Once the tea arrived, Muriel took Graham’s mug and turned her back to the room for a bit with it. Meanwhile, Chester accepted his hot chocolate with magnanimous grace and clambered up on the bed to drink it, bumping Kyle out of his way.

The chamomile didn’t look all that different once it was passed to Graham. Whatever Muriel had done to it hadn’t changed the look of it, though it did taste ever so slightly stronger of lavender than he would have liked. Too floral. He drained it, and the heat soothed his throat.

“And that will help you sleep,” she said, mostly to herself, as she took the mug back.

It took a beat before he realized what that meant. Panic swept in, sharp and hot. “No, wait!” He grabbed her hand, clutched it tight, knocked the mug away; it shattered on the floor, pieces rocking back and forth. “You can’t! No, please don’t let me sleep again. I don’t want to sleep. I can’t! You have to stop it!”

“Graham!” Startled, she looked to the others. No one else seemed capable of doing anything, afraid of speaking against a monarch no matter how sick he was. It just wasn’t something a royal guard did. The tips of her fingers were turning dark beneath his wretched grip. “You must sleep. It’s the best way for your body to heal.”

“But if I sleep…if I sleep…what if he comes back?”

“He?”

“I dreamed…” Graham forced the words past cracked lips, “I dreamed about Achaka.” The room seemed to grow perfectly still. “Please, I can’t. Don’t let me sleep. I can’t face him again.”

Muriel’s face softened, and she sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you? What happened?”

“He was so disappointed in me. I let him down. I failed. I couldn’t protect…I couldn’t protect anyone, and he, he shot, he shot....” His voice broke off.

“You didn’t let him down. You couldn’t ever let him down.”

“Because he’s dead, and I got him killed. It’s all my fault. It’s always been my fault.”

“No! Never think that. You have done more in these last days than anyone could imagine. He would be proud of you. He would never want to hurt you because of what you did to help us survive, Graham. He would be proud.”

A wave of dizziness washed over him in spite of his frustrations and fear, and Graham collapsed back into the pillows. The world was splitting apart into filmy, iridescent soap bubbles. They popped gently one by one, and the room dimmed with each lost bubble. He sank deeper, fingers slackening, but she caught up his hand in hers.

“Never, ever think that you let him down,” she said gently, rubbing the back of his hand. “No one could act with more bravery and compassion and wisdom in those caves. No one but you.”

Everything was going blurry, his friends fading off into ridiculous colors and shapes and disappearing, but he forced himself to focus on her, to bring her back into real shapes and real colors. He had to be sure. The Hobblepots were very old and very judgmental people, he remembered. They would tell the truth. “Muriel,” he whispered, desperate, slurred, sleepy. “Did I do all right?”

“King Edward could not have done better, Your Majesty. You protected Daventry magnificently. Now, you have to rest. We still need you, but right now, you’ve done enough. Sleep.”

And he did, slipping down beneath sheets and stars, and the nightmares held their peace.

~*~*~

She sank into the rocking chair. The last few weeks had taken their toll on her, and now that Graham was unconscious again, the flurry of activity over, she looked just as sunken and nearly as sick as he did. Chester was snoring already, snuggled against one of the pillows. Kyle and Larry were whispering if they should wake him or carry him to his own bed.

Muriel listened to the whistle in her monarch’s throat as he breathed. “I’d bet he’s contagious,” she said, as casual as an afterthought. As one, every single guard took three steps back from the bed. “We’ll need more of the frostleaf, sooner rather than later. Just under his tongue. It’ll melt. It’ll help with the wheezing.” She stretched. “Lots of it. Bramble’ll want some, too.” She rubbed her own throat. “And me, if I’m to be tending him.”

“Muriel, we can take care of him from here,” No1 said, gently.

“No, I don’t think you should. You mean well, but unless you get another healer in, I’m the best way to beat that fever before he goes delirious. Just bring in the rest of that list from the shop; I expect we’ll need it all soon. Delicately, now. Don’t go bruising leaves before it’s time to bruise ‘em.”

She eased herself to her feet, wobbled, and No1 took her arm to steady her. She smiled at him, but the smile disappeared again as she thought. “Someone’s got to stay and keep watch. If he starts to wake, you get me. He should be out for a few hours, but he’s a fighty little thing. Gonna be a pest, especially if he decides he can use them kingly orders to make you all let him out of this room before I say so. Which you won’t do. Matter of fact, you’ll not even let him get out of that bed before I personally and explicitly say it’s okay. No matter what he threatens, you’re going to keep him put because I can make threats too, and mine have more interesting consequences.” She eyed each guard in turn. “Think frogs and Chester,” she growled.

In unison, every guard agreed, stiff with terror.

“Fine,” she said, mostly to herself. “We’re all fine.” And the kingdom would be…well, more than fine, truly, with this man wearing the crown and leading them forward. They would be wonderful.

#King's Quest #kings quest #King Graham #he's fine #ch2 #fic'ing

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kingsofeverything · 5 years

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I was tagged by the lovely @sadaveniren to post 9 pics/gifs from my camera roll that speak to me/represent me sooooooo here they are!

L to R:

Top row: pic of Britney from a post that just crossed my dash and Nic got really excited about it lol, baby Harry 🖕 lol both of those are pics Nic sent me in WhatsApp. My beautiful who framed roger rabbit edit!

Middle: Fuck your soft block for real. Rufus! Larry magnets!

Bottom: Wankfest! A fat cat eating Cheetos from an old bday card, aaaand an upside down photo of this month’s unicorn calendar pic

Tagging @louandhazaf @dinosaursmate @justalittlelouislove @londonfoginacup

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badlydrawndrawnings · 5 years

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ASOUE SEASON 3, Part 2

There are some things that I enjoy, some things that bug me, and some of those things that bug me are thing I do enjoy but i have to question regardless. The post grew so long I’m cutting it into two parts, and frankly this covers The PP and The End (part one won’t be linking because idk what Tumblr did with that update with links).. We are in the second half of the season, and boy, do I have a lot of hot opinions! Most of it it’s under the read more to not cog the tags.

Frank, Ernest, and Dewey: I feel so validated my theory of Dewy was talking to the Baudelaires last and pretending to be Frank or Ernest is confirm...here at least! Speaking of them, I think Frank was the first one the Baudelaires talk too, then Ernest talk second. In the first convo, Frank or Ernest was Serious and To the Point, and Frank (confirm in book it’s Frank)) was like that with Violet. In the second convo, Frank or Ernest was Friendly and Emotional with his words, and Ernest (confirm in book it’s Ernest) was being a bit cheeky with Klaus and humorous when lassoing Larry Your Waiter up (RIP). Sorry about your brother you two... but boy the shot Dewy floating in the water looks beautiful.

I think the show was trying to pull a red herring that Kit was ‘evil’ due her asking Dewy to give Frank her regards because no one knows about the unicorn that is Dewy.

Lack of Sir and Charles/Switching roles/The JS Debate: I learned beforehand Charles’ actor couldn’t make it to filming so they had to rewrite him out. Didn’t expect to get rid of Sir (granted, I hear Sir’s actor is like..expense to get back or something and season one was lucky to get him). Still, nice to see that they were able to get Jerome to fill in his (kinda) canon role and Charles. Also, are Charles and Jerome together? That’s a great step up Jerome! Also, nice to know Babs and Miss Bass are together (man I wonder how the in-laws will react to that). I think what really threw me into the loop is that the Netflix Show made JS, the person behind it all, to be Justice Strauss with others JS helps. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the book had ‘JS’ be anonymous as not even Justice Strauss or Jerome knew who is the real JS since they thought it was meet for them (with theories saying it’s Lemony pretending to his brother and the taxi driver in the PP is him. Thanks Netflix for actually confirming the taxi driver part). Didn’t mind Nero being with Esme. I like that (they didn’t show the report who name I freaking forgot. Guess that says something).

At the Opera Tonight & (Lack Of) Bertrand : Hey, Netflix...Olaf’s parents death was A HIT MURDER by Beatrice, The Snickets (Kit and maybe Lemony if 13 Secrets is valid, who know about Jacques), and most importantly, BERTRAND. The books made it clear both were involved in some way or form. In fact, the lack of Bertrand is so insulting. Lemony may not say talk about him too much, but damn it, Lemony liked and respect Bertrand and never hold a grudge. Lemony in the show is the same, just less because the writers really did put more of an emphasis on Beatrice as the Lost Lenore and true OTP (????). In fact, why did the Opera events paint the noble side of VFD good with the accidental death? It was hit, and everyone was guilty and not free of sin. Here though, they are guilty as hell but free of sin as ‘it was an accident’. Well, since Bertrand wasn’t involve in the events here...the guy is actually innocent and free of sin good job Bertrand you don’t have blood on your hand (this sounds like sarcasm but it’ not). Also. you a handsome man.

Personal Headcanon That I Will Never Let Go Now Due to the Above Nonsense: Olaf’s parents were part of VFD, and were sympathetic to the fire starting side of schism, but overall close to neutral (Olaf didn’t and will never know, and book implies the schism wasn’t bad until after Olaf did his thing to frame Lemony for the crimes), due to their positions of society as aristocracy, a father in a high government related job (thanks Netflix for making Dad the Chief of the Official Fire Department it almost lines up perfectly) and mother as A-List Theater Performer. They managed to get a faster reunion when Olaf is 17 (Lemony, Olaf, and a few others are supposed to be the same age while the other siblings are older by a few years, and 18 seems to be the legal age of becoming an adult in this world). The three were at the opera for their first time reunion, and Beatrice and Bertrand were given the task on getting rid of them, and they thought ‘oh this will be easy’ because Kit was helping to deal with Esme and they succeeds. They were about to celebrate and leave when they hear Olaf and see him running to his dead parents (they have no idea he was there. If Lemony was involve, then they did knew but used Lemony as a distraction to make sure Oalf won’t witness the deed. As to why Olaf as to see the body? Because seeing a body adds extra fuel to people waiting revenge). Olaf is still on the noble side at this point (if barely), and he doesn’t know the truth until later, after somehow losing the family fortune and a switch to the fire starting side. Incompetent banking may or may not be involve.

Hotel Denouement (Fire): Bit upset the sign isn’t written backwards, but hell, I want to stay there regardless!!! Also, I like how the show kept most of the fates a mystery expect Justice Strauss (how did she get down from the roof). The books implies Mr. Poe will die another night, so ergo in Netflix Show Mr. Poe and oddly enough, Vice Principal Nero of all people, survive as well. Thanks Nero for saving Mr. Poe for his offscreen date in the future. Side topic, but my headcanon in the books is (excluding Mr. Poe as his is given) Esme, Ernest, Hal, Hugo and Colette and Kevin survived. Those that made it out but died due to fire related injures later on (within a day or a week) would be Frank, Jerome, Charles, Sir, Nero and the Teachers, and Carmelita. Everyone else is 100% dead (guess I got to change my 100% dead Justice Strauss status lol). The choices were pick due to drama (Esme cares for Carmelita and would be 100% heartbroken to see her die after the two made it out. For Frank and Ernest, I figure losing one brother would change their hostile relationship to a reluctant team up to get out of the fire together. Frank, being noble, gets Ernest out first resulting getting injuries and dying later, leaving Ernest all alone. Sir and Charles were still holding hands when they got out, but Sir died first and Charles went next due to a broken heart) or luck (Hal survived one fire already; I want Hugo, Colette, and Kevin to catch a good break).

I cried when the ending happened that song f*** me up so bad like things could have been different and happy but I’m stuck in misery and woe.

THE END/VFD AND SCHISM: I HATE THIS EPISODE SO FREAKING MUCH. Well, the Island parts (lol the red herring of Beatrice II being Sunny just by wanting to be call by her last name). They cut characters stuff with Friday (and her mother), the mutiny (that was the best part!!!)...almost all the stuff that made The End good! Also, wtf was with the BS of Ishmael making VFD? Like, I like how he was the Principal, that I can accept. But I got the impression, and it was actually implied, it been around for a long time before Ishmael was even born. He made it sound like a book club for the prestigious good people that are rich and bored. Newsflash Netflix: IT’S NOT. Kit flat out mentions that the schism started when she was four, and it only got worse when her generation came. In fact, the schism only got worse when Olaf went after Lemony, making it the schism everyone knows today. The way the show paints it...it’s the pettiness form of petty and revenge and actually revenge I would like normally but I hate it in the context. I have more, but I’m be making a post about it...a (crack-ish/shitpost comparison of sorts you will of sorts. All I can say is the the White Face women are younger than they look or lost their family and sister in a fire while in their 20′s or 30′s (Ishmael and the Man with Beard but no Hair and Woman with hair but no Beard and Co -> Lemony and Co aka Schism start at teenage/young adult years -> Baudelaires and Co).

Honestly the good stuff was Sunny thinking of pushing Olaf overboard, and the whole thing leading up to Olaf and Kit’s death I cried so much.

Chapter 14: Okay, I’m a sucker for a happy ending after so much crap happened. Lemony and Beatrice II found family again (if for a short time), Fiona and Fernald got a Pushing Daisies ending when Captain Widdershins shows up (referring to Emerson Cod’s reunion with his daughter), Quigley reuniting with his stock footage siblings + Hector, the Troupe having a happy ending fulling their dream, and IDV maybe making it to the the islanders in time. Do I admit that the whole point of their ‘last appearance’ with the Great Unknown (or IDV just disappearing) is to give a message that you can’t always know what happens and mysteries are still out there (imo). Yes, but again, I’m a sucker for happy endings, so I’m fine either way. Also, in Season One there was a narration of Lemony with a very tiny Self Sustaining ship in the BG. Since we know Lemony is actually narrating from the future...it’s a given the Quagmire and Hector would survive. It’s a blink and you miss, but it’s there. So yeah, while everything else could be chalk up as a fake happy ending imagine by Lemony and/or Beatrice II, the Quagmire Triplets and Hector were given a happy fate from the start! Okay, I guess they still need to come down at some point but...

I would watch the PP episodes, but never the End unless I want to make myself angry.

#netflix asoue #denouement triplets #dewey denouement #beatrice baudelaire #bertrand baudelaire #asoue season 3 #a series of unfortunate events #ASoUE #spoilers #asoue spoilers

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breakingmllc · 3 years

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Principal We All Grow Together Plants T Shirt

ARE COVERING FOR CHINA SO SHE ACTUALLY BLOWS THE WHISTLE ON DEFTLY THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION AND THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY AND THEIR CONNECTIONS WITHOUT NEXT IS FACT CHECKING FATTY SO WE REALLY WANTED TO INCLUDE DONE INCLUDE THAT AND ALSO A Principal We All Grow Together Plants T Shirt CARTOON THAT GOES WITH IT REALLY LAYS OUT JUST EXACTLY WHAT THE TRUTH IS WHAT THE FACTS ARE AS DEFTLY WHAT HE SAID OR STATED THE NEXT IS THE FIRST NEWS THE DEEP STATE MAINSTREAM MEDIUM BIG PHARMA’S WORST NIGHTMARE IS AN AWOKEN HUMANITY AND HYDROCHLORIC WHEN I DECALCIFIED THE PINEAL GLAND SO WHAT WERE FINDING IS THIS HYDRO WAS A CHLOROQUINE EXIT DOES A LOT OF THINGS THAT FIGHTS CANCER DECALCIFIED IS THE PINEAL GLAND IT OBVIOUSLY SOLVES ANY OF THE SOLUTIONS THAT WERE TO HEAR ABOUT THERE’S SOME OTHER ARTICLES HERE IN REGARDS TO HIM BASICALLY COUNTERACTING THE CODE 19 VIRUS SO THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ARTICLE I THINK I THINK SOMETHING AT THAT EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT NEXT IS A NEW COLD WAR IN THIS IS THE VACCINE INDUSTRY COMPLEX IN THIS REALLY LAYS OUT ON LARRY. Happening here and took in what they are doing that’s the that just a continuation of the hoax whether it’s the impeachment Oaks or the Russia Russia Russia hope this is what I’m talking about certainly not referring to this how can anybody refer to this this is very serious about the way they referred to it because these people have done such an incredible job and I don’t like it when they are criticizing these people and that stokes that’s what I’ve done information Dr world renowned for being my Dr is just a question has because he has had that ability to do virtually whatever is wanted to do that in fact he was never muzzled think I can speak what are you let me let me clarify I have never been muzzled ever and I been doing this since the administration of Ronald Reagan I’m not been muzzled by this ministration what happened which was misinterpreted is that we were set up to go on some shows when the vice president took over said let’s regroup and figure out how to be communicated so I had to just stand. On our right to vote including many that specifically target working families young people and communities of color responsible for both secure elections reverted every voice is heard I democracy tax foreign let’s talk about this election despite what he says Donald Trump can’t cancel it but he and Republicans are making it too hard for so many to cast their ballots and attacking vote by mail to distract and confuse voters hear a difference between the learning activity near you and Bernie simply for other states like Colorado and Utah are voting by mail four years and agree but now Trump has admitted he tried to sabotage the post office to undermine voting by mail and were not to let him do that our job is to make sure everyone can both safely whether a person or by mail and your job is to make sure you vote is talk to your friends and neighbors spread the word to everyone you out to about 230330 for more than your principal from home bequest returning your or remind me when you now to make prompt about don’t

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Under control no real help for the states and local governments trying to fill the vacuum of leadership from the White House no real help for children and educators for small businesses and front line workers that halted there ones holding our country together instead he’s issuing executive orders making promises that the end will defined the Social Security system on insisting that this virus will disappear the Joe Biden Harris administration to compress a Principal We All Grow Together Plants T Shirt plan to meet the challenge of 19 and turned the corner on this pandemic masking Claire science based guidance dramatically scaling up testing getting states and local governments resources they need to open his goals a business safely we can do this we just need a president and vice president willing to lead take responsibility this president says my fall the government the governor should thank me more is an old saying goes give me a break in an economic crisis more than 16 million Americans 16 million still out of work. Know my dad was an honorable decent man he got knocked down a few times pretty hard when he always got back up he worked hard to build a great middle class life our family is to say joey I would expect the government to solve my problems but I sure as hell expect and understand the many say joey a job is about a lot more than a paycheck despite your dignity it’s about respect as much a place in the community not been able to cure kidney is a honey is going to be okay and made never forgotten those lessons that’s why my economic plan is all about jobs dignity respecting community together we can and will rebuild our economy and when we do will not only billback will be met better with modern roads bridges highways broadband ports and airports is a new foundation for economic growth with pipes of transport clean water to every community with 5 million new manufacturing and technology jobs so the future is made in america with a healthcare system that lowers premiums deductibles drug prices by building. Law dramatically with taking it is frightening trail old time for the ordinary tour in his life that kind of I live just one live as long America one live stream will reporting was related to neighboring Georgia record while encouraging the did not know consider the party down a number silly 83 days have come election day and today Joe Biden Harris will make their first appearance in Wilmington Delaware as running mate American major party previously major during president the 21st century See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

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usashirtstoday · 3 years

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Owl Exit The Warrior Vintage 2020 T Shirt

You need to think there just handed out checks to include a Owl Exit The Warrior Vintage 2020 T Shirt certain percentage value doing the percentage I mean you have to be a member of that nation to you can apply if you have a percentage game no not really someone lied to me to test 0 0 I’m more white than your favorite white supremacist your house for the 0. ARE COVERING FOR CHINA SO SHE ACTUALLY BLOWS THE WHISTLE ON DEFTLY THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION AND THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY AND THEIR CONNECTIONS WITHOUT NEXT IS FACT CHECKING FATTY SO WE REALLY WANTED TO INCLUDE DONE INCLUDE THAT AND ALSO A CARTOON THAT GOES WITH IT REALLY LAYS OUT JUST EXACTLY WHAT THE TRUTH IS WHAT THE FACTS ARE AS DEFTLY WHAT HE SAID OR STATED THE NEXT IS THE FIRST NEWS THE DEEP STATE MAINSTREAM MEDIUM BIG PHARMA’S WORST NIGHTMARE IS AN AWOKEN HUMANITY AND HYDROCHLORIC WHEN I DECALCIFIED THE PINEAL GLAND SO WHAT WERE FINDING IS THIS HYDRO WAS A CHLOROQUINE EXIT DOES A LOT OF THINGS THAT FIGHTS CANCER DECALCIFIED IS THE PINEAL GLAND IT OBVIOUSLY SOLVES ANY OF THE SOLUTIONS THAT WERE TO HEAR ABOUT THERE’S SOME OTHER ARTICLES HERE IN REGARDS TO HIM BASICALLY COUNTERACTING THE CODE 19 VIRUS SO THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ARTICLE I THINK I THINK SOMETHING AT THAT EVERYONE SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT NEXT IS A NEW COLD WAR IN THIS IS THE VACCINE INDUSTRY COMPLEX IN THIS REALLY LAYS OUT ON LARRY. Just Never Say That It’s It’s like He’s Not a Polished Politician like You and Hillary Clinton and so I Will Not Amount to Remain Tell You What a Great Line from the Gospel of the Fullness of the Heart the Mouth Speaks You When Don Trump Says Women Should Be Punished Are Mexicans Are Rapists and Criminal Keller John McCain Is Not a Hero Here Showing You Know Sen That You You Went out That Mexican Thing Again He That There Are Criminal Aliens in This Country Can Come into This Country Illegally Who Are Perpetrating Violence and Take You and I Are Fresh against Many Also and Many of Them Are Good People You Keep Leaving Them Out Of Your Quote If You Want Me to Go There Although There but Here’s There Is a Choice Here and It’s It It Is a Choice on Life Couldn’t Be More Proud to Be Standing That Donald Trump Is Standing for the Right to Life It’s a Principle That Sen Kane and I’m Very Gentle about This As I Really Do Respect You It’s a Principle That You Embrace and I Appreciated the Fact That You Supported the

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And also principles she exhibited a strength that I think a lot of women were inspired by and as she is a very very significant loss and keep less than 30 seconds los Fox is interesting to watch for in the next few weeks of the election campaign is this question about what will Democrats to Republicans go ahead as they promised to do and try to confirm a nominee in the lame duck session if they should win the presidency and the Senate and hold onto the house will he use the power they have in Washington to March the Supreme Court is something they been talking about ever since the Merrick Garland issue surfaced it’s certainly something was going very very bold Marie Hannon really nice hearing reflections and urinalysis tonight thinking that you ask on the national buses crowded with people and plenty of warrior we look into concerns about overcrowding on Toronto’s transit in already hard hit areas before the pandemic overcrowding on Toronto transit was just a daily annoyance now it can be a health risk many commuters. Under control no real help for the states and local governments trying to fill the vacuum of leadership from the White House no real help for children and educators for small businesses and front line workers that halted there ones holding our country together instead he’s issuing executive orders making promises that the end will defined the Social Security system on insisting that this virus will disappear the Joe Biden Harris administration to compress a plan to meet the challenge of 19 and turned the corner on this pandemic masking Claire science based guidance dramatically scaling up testing getting states and local governments resources they need to open his goals a business safely we can do this we just need a president and vice president willing to lead take responsibility this president says my fall the government the governor should thank me more is an old saying goes give me a break in an economic crisis more than 16 million Americans 16 million still out of work See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

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tak4hir0 · 4 years

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Artificial intelligence is infiltrating every industry, allowing vehicles to navigate without drivers, assisting doctors with medical diagnoses, and mimicking the way humans speak. But for all the authentic and exciting ways it’s transforming the tasks computers can perform, there’s a lot of hype, too. As Jeremy Achin, CEO of newly minted unicorn DataRobot, puts it: “Everyone knows you have to have machine learning in your story or you’re not sexy.” The inherently broad term gets bandied about so often that it can start to feel meaningless and gets trotted out by companies to gussy up even simple data analysis. To help cut through the noise, Forbes and data partner Meritech Capital put together a list of private, U.S.-based companies that are wielding some subset of artificial intelligence in a meaningful way and demonstrating real business potential from doing so. One makes robots that can whir around shoppers to help workers restock shelves. Another scans recruiting pitches for unconscious bias. A third analyzes massive data sets to make street-by-street weather predictions. To be included on the list, companies needed to show that techniques like machine learning (where systems learn from data to improve on tasks), natural language processing (which enables programs to “understand” written or spoken language), or computer vision (which relates to how machines “see”) are a core part of their business model and future success. Find all the details on our methodology here. The honorees span categories like human resources, security, insurance, and finance, with healthcare, transportation, and infrastructure startups best represented on the list. While most of the 50 hail from traditional tech centers like Silicon Valley, New York City and Boston, there’s representation from smaller hubs such as Detroit and Austin, too. Cumulatively, the startups are flush with cash–unsurprising, given that startups touting AI received a record $7.4 billion in funding in just the second quarter of 2019, according to CBInsights. Only eight startups were founded or cofounded by women, reflecting trends in venture funding, where software startups run by men have received the lion’s share of investment dollars. That’s a possible cause for concern: Studies have shown that artificial intelligence can compound existing biases in data, which may be more likely to happen if there are fewer women and underrepresented minorities in the room. The winners below are listed in order of ascending valuation, and in each case we’ve tried to focus on the problem the company is trying to solve instead of the tool solving it. In instances where companies submitted valuation information on the condition of confidentially, Forbes used estimates from data provider Pitchbook. AI 50 founders reflect on the biggest misconceptions they hear about artificial intelligence and Meritech Capital principal Konstantine Buhler explains how he evaluates startups. 50 | Viz.ai Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Chris Mansi (CEO), David Golan Funding: $21 million Valuation: Unknown Viz.ai aims to reduce the number of stroke victims who don’t receive the right treatment in time. Its software cross-references CT images of a patient’s brain with its database of scans and can alert specialists in minutes to early signs of large vessel occlusion strokes that they may have otherwise missed or taken too long to spot. It sells its suite of products to hospital networks and medical institutions, including Mount Sinai in New York and Swedish Health System in Denver. – 49 | Deep 6 Headquarters: Pasadena, CA Founder: Wout Brusselaers Funding: $22 million Valuation: Unknown When pharmaceutical research teams embark on a new clinical trial, one of the biggest bottlenecks can be finding the right cohort of patients to work with. That’s where Deep 6 comes in. CEO Wout Brusselaers says the company’s software can pull data from electronic medical records to create patient graphs that allow researchers to filter for specific conditions and traits, leading to matches in “minutes, instead of months.” The system’s language understanding engine has been trained so that it can infer some conditions even if they’re not explicitly mentioned in notes, and Deep 6 says it has more than 20 health system or pharmaceutical customers. – 48 | Lilt Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Spence Green, John DeNero Funding: $12.5 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $29.5 million, via Pitchbook Lilt makes human translators better at their job. Cofounder John DeNero spent several years as a senior research scientist for Google Translate, learning the strengths and limitations of autonomous translation. Instead of relying solely on machines, Lilt can churn out better translations, faster, for the likes of HBC and Zendesk by equipping freelancers with machine translations and predictive typing tools. – 47 | Armorblox Headquarters: Cupertino, CA Founders: DJ Sampath (CEO), Arjun Sambamoorthy, Chetan Anand, Anand Raghavan Funding: $16.5 million Valuation: $37 million, via Pitchbook CEO and cofounder Dhananjay Sampath launched Armorblox into the saturated cybersecurity market two years ago with the aim of protecting customers from socially engineered attacks, like phishing emails, that take advantage of human missteps. Sampath hopes it will stand out from the competition by using natural language processing, which allows machines to learn and understand language. Its software analyzes a customer’s communication styles to get a sense context and then automatically flags possible phishing attempts, insider threats or accidental data disclosures. – 46 | DefinedCrowd Daniela Braga of DefinedCrowd Dário Branco Headquarters: Seattle Founders: Daniela Braga Funding: $13.1 million Valuation: $38.8 million, via Pitchbook DefinedCrowd taps human contributors to build bespoke datasets for a client list that includes Mastercard and BMW. The startup recruits freelancers through a platform called Neevo and assigns them tasks like labeling images or recording audio, hastening their work with machine learning-powered automation where possible. All the data created or checked by people gets compiled into a format that customers can use to train their own algorithms. DefinedCrowd is currently in the process of raising a big Series B round of funding it expects to complete by the end of the year. – 45 | May Mobility Headquarters: Ann Arbor, MI Founders: Edwin Olson (CEO), Alisyn Malek, Steve Vozar Funding: $33 million Valuation: $61.9 million, via Pitchbook May Mobility is taking on the self-driving challenge with form factor that’s more predictable than cars: autonomous shuttles. The company’s software has powered shuttle services in Providence, Rhode Island, and Columbus, Ohio, where passengers get scenic tours of the city. – 44 | Xnor.ai Headquarters: Seattle Founders: Ali Farhadi, Mohammad Rastegari (CEO: Jon Gelsey) Funding: $14.6 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $62.05 million, via Pitchbook While researchers at the Allen Institute for Artificial Intelligence, Ali Farhadi and Mohammad Rastegari identified a problem: “Most of the time, AI researchers (including ourselves) tend to make better, newer algorithms with more demand for compute, memory and power,” Farhadi says. “However, the real-world use cases tend to move in the opposite direction—demanding solutions with less compute, memory and power.” They set about trying to create a system where complex algorithms could run on simple hardware and spun out of the Allen Institute, which was cofounded by the late Paul Allen of Microsoft, in 2016. Earlier this year, the company hit a technology breakthrough when it managed to run a simple computer vision system on a solar-powered computer chip. – 43 | Suki AI Headquarters: Redwood City, CA Founder: Punit Soni (CEO) Funding: $20 million Valuation: $65 million Suki is built around the idea that administrative tasks are a significant burden for doctors, cutting into their time to focus on patients. To relieve that strain, the startup makes a voice-enabled digital assistant that doctors can use to take notes and fill in electronic records in real time. It has signed on several large health systems and provider groups, including Unified Physician Management and Ascension Health, and says that users average a 76% reduction in time spent completing clinical notes. CEO Punit Soni says that its digital assistant goes “far beyond” voice-to-text software, recognizing context and becoming more personalized the more doctors use it. “Suki was born with a mission to bring joy back to medicine,” he says. – 42 | Aira Aira's cofounders Watson Yim, Sujeeth Kanuganti, Suman Kanuganti, and Yuja Chang Courtesy of Aira Headquarters: San Diego Founders: Suman Kanuganti, Sujeeth Kanuganti, Watson Yim, Yuja Chang, Larry Bock (CEO: Mike Randall) Funding: $35 million Valuation: $66 million, via Pitchbook Aira helps blind and low-vision people better “see” the world by combining real human beings with an AI-powered agent through its app or custom smart glasses. The company admits that its AI agent, Chloe, is still in its infant stage right now—it can complete simple tasks like reading the instructions on a pill bottle — but it has big ambitions for more robust computer-vision-based navigation. The product is free for sessions under five minutes, and for all sessions in the 25,000+ locations where Aira has partnerships, like JFK Airport and the grocery chain Wegmans. – 41 | Rulai Headquarters: Campbell, CA Founders: Marc Vanlerberghe (CEO), Yi Zhang Funding: $14.5 million Valuation: $80 million While chat bots burst onto the scene with a lot of promise (remember how they were going to take over Facebook Messenger?), they never quite reached mainstream adoption, due in part to disenchantment with their limited scope and conversational rigidity. Rulai says its virtual assistants are different. While most bots run into trouble when users switch context or add tasks, cofounder Yi Zhang says that Rulai’s dialog manager models don’t get tripped up. “Virtual assistants need to handle the variation of natural language and the variation of conversation flows,” she says. Rulai has won over the likes of Lyft, Sanofi and Fidelity with its customer support, sales and employee productivity bots. – 40 | Algorithmia Headquarters: Seattle Founders: Diego Oppenheimer (CEO), Kenny Daniel Funding: $38 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $100 million, via Pitchbook Algorithmia cofounder Kenny Daniel used to have a favorite saying: “'The future is already invented; it just happens to be stuck in a research paper somewhere.” He and longtime Microsoft employee Diego Oppenheimer banded together to devise an easier way for data scientists to discover and work with machine learning models. While Algorithmia began as a marketplace for algorithms used primarily by individual developers, it has adapted into a more robust infrastructure service for large enterprises. For example, it says that one financial institution used its platform to bring a new risk model into production. – 39 | Ubiquity6 Anjney Midh & Ankit Kumar of Ubiquity6 Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Anjney Midha (CEO), Ankit Kumar Funding: $37 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $102 million, via Pitchbook Founded by former Kleiner Perkins partner Anjney Midha and deep learning researcher Ankit Kumar, Ubiquity6 makes a smartphone app for multi-person augmented reality experiences. The app can build a 3D map of a space in roughly 30 seconds and uses computer vision to recognize real-world objects, so that objects created in AR can interact with them like they would in the real world. For example, in August 2018 it previewed a game at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art that let guests create René Magritte-themed objects with which other users could interact. – 38 | Textio Headquarters: Seattle Founders: Kieran Snyder (CEO), Jensen Harris Funding: $29.5 million Valuation: $115 million, via Pitchbook Seattle-based HR startup Textio helps companies make their job postings or recruiting emails more effective, suggesting language changes to increase the likelihood of responses. Because its 350 customers, including Spotify, Expedia and Johnson & Johnson, share their anonymized audience demographics as well as response rates, its system can help flag whether certain phrases appeal particularly to people of one gender or background. A tool called Textio Flow, launched in April, can automatically produce whole paragraphs based on users’ notes about what they want to say. CEO Kieran Snyder likens the service to a superpower that helps users say “exactly what they mean, in words they didn’t even know they had.” – 37 | Affectiva Headquarters: Boston Founders: Rana el Kaliouby (CEO), Rosalind Picard Funding: $53 million Valuation: $116 million Affectiva is trying to tackle the incredibly hard problem of teaching software to recognize emotions based on facial expressions and voice. “There is no way that heuristic coding or a simple rules-based approach can capture all these complexities and nuance,” says cofounder and CEO Rana el Kaliouby. The company recently raised a fresh round of funding led by automotive company Aptiv with the hope that its technology could one day be integrated into smart cars (imagine a vehicle that could issue a warning to a drowsy-looking driver). In the meantime, it’s also being used to test consumer feedback on ads and TV programming. – 36 | BigPanda Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Founders: Assaf Resnick (CEO), Elik Eizenberg Funding: $51 million Valuation: $135 million, via Pitchbook Nothing riles up users like a website or application going down. To streamline and prevent IT catastrophes like this, former Sequoia Capital principle Assaf Resnick joined forces with software developer Elik Eizenberg to launch BigPanda. Resnick is CEO and Eizenberg chief technology officer of the eight-year-old company, which uses AI and machine learning to curtail IT problems in real time before they turn into full-blown network outages. Across industries, BigPanda has attracted dozens of customers including Nike and United Airlines. – 35 | Insitro Daphne Koller of Insitro Headquarters: South San Francisco Founders: Daphne Koller (CEO) Funding: $100 million Valuation: $135 million, via Pitchbook Insitro aims to improve the drug discovery process. Founded by machine-learning veteran Daphne Koller, it creates in vitro models of human disease in its automated laboratory and then applies machine-learning models to predict possible effective therapies. It recently announced a partnership with drug maker Gilead Sciences, worth up to $1 billion, to help it find a treatment for a form of liver disease called nonalcoholic steatohepatis, or NASH. – 34 | Blue Hexagon Headquarters: Sunnyvale, CA Founders: Nayeem Islam (CEO), Saumitra Das Funding: $31 million Valuation: $143.9 million, via PitchBook Blue Hexagon, led by longtime Qualcomm executive Nayeem Islam, spent more than a year and a half building a deep learning system to analyze network traffic that it says can detect and block threats in under a second. Islam says that when potential customers try the software, it can be “startling” how many more potential attacks it flags, which he attributes to its ability to predict how attackers will adapt their malware. “[Finding] the mutation of a threat is what AI does incredibly well,” he says. “Our detection rate for the last year has consistently been over 99%.” – 33 | Tamr Headquarters: Cambridge, MA Founders: Andy Palmer (CEO), Ihab Ilyas, Mike Stonebraker Funding: $73.5 million Valuation: $155 million, via Pitchbook Data management company Tamr was born out of an MIT research project to apply machine learning to clean and organize so-called dirty data that’s incomplete or inconsistent. Andy Palmer was running data engineering at pharmaceutical company Novartis when MIT’s system was brought in to organize a decade’s worth of biological assay information spread across more than 15,000 tables. The technology worked so well that he and two of the researchers decided to start a company around it. “The only way to curate thousands of tabular data sources that are constantly changing is using an artful combination of machine learning and human expertise,” says Palmer, who is now CEO. In practice, that means that Tamr’s system automatically identifies sources of data across a company that could be useful together and then tags in an employee to instruct the software how to integrate it. The company sells its service to customers like Toyota, GSK and GE, which it says saved over $80 million using Tamr. – 32 | Socure Headquarters: New York City Founders: Johnny Ayers, Sunil Madhu (no longer active employee) - (CEO: Tom Thimot) Funding: $60 million Valuation: $175 million, via Pitchbook Socure aims to wipe out identity fraud. It evaluates data from hundreds of online and offline data sources including credit bureaus, carrier phone records, IP addresses, social networks and more, to monitor for any suspicious behavior. The company says that customers see reductions in fraud rate and manual review costs by 80% to 90%. – 31 | Bossa Nova Robotics Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Sarjoun Skaff, Martin Hitch (CEO: Bruce McWilliams) Funding: $76.57 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $179 million, via Pitchbook If you find yourself in a Walmart, keep your eyes peeled for a big, slow-moving robot gliding up and down the aisles. It’s the brainchild of robotics startup Bossa Nova and is rolling out to 350 stores around the country to help keep shelves well stocked. Its system reads price labels for discrepancies and finds gaps on shelves so it can alert workers about any problems. Chief technology officer Sarjoun Skaff says it has taken iteration after iteration since 2013 to figure out how to let its robots maneuver safely around shoppers and interpret billions of images in a way that was accurate, timely and reliable. – 30 | Pymetrics Frida Polli of Pymetrics Headquarters: New York City Founders: Frida Polli (CEO) Funding: $56.6 million Valuation: $190 million, via Pitchbook Online recruiting platform Pymetrics helps companies find the right hires by looking beyond experiences and skills on a résumé. Its more than 80 enterprise customers, including LinkedIn, Accenture, MasterCard and Unilever have current, top-performing employees complete the platform’s set of assessments. Pymetrics gleans key emotional and cognitive traits for different roles so when job seekers apply to work at one of those companies and complete the challenges themselves, they’re paired with jobs that are the best fit. Companies can also use the platform for internal career development. “It makes the process more efficient with better outcomes and increases diversity tremendously,” says CEO and neuropsychology Ph.D. Frida Polli. Pymetrics open-sources its algorithm auditing tool, aimed at preventing its systems from reinforcing gender or ethnic bias. – 29 | K Health Headquarters: New York City Founders: Allon Bloch (CEO), Ran Shaul, Adam Singolda Funding: $56 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $200 million, via Pitchbook K Health doesn’t think that everyday health concerns need to warrant a trip to the doctor’s office. “K was built by technologists and doctors because we felt frustrated with the ability to access relevant, personalized and affordable healthcare,” says cofounder and CEO Allon Bloch. The company’s consumer app draws on a data set of more than 2 billion anonymized medical records, finding subtle patterns in the data to give users personalized health advice. In July, K announced a partnership with insurance provider Anthem to let members see how doctors diagnose and treat similar people with similar symptoms for free (though they’ll be charged to chat with an actual doctor). – 28 | Moveworks Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Founders: Bhavin Shah (CEO), Vaibhav Nivargi, Varun Singh, Jiang Chen Funding: $30 million Valuation: $200 million+ Moveworks wants to end the frustration of waiting around for corporate IT help–its natural language understanding engine can solve 25% to 35% of all employee IT issues autonomously. For example, if a worker sends a frantic message like, “Sorry, I was biking to work and dropped my laptop accidentally, and it won’t turn on now. What should I do?? Please help!” the system can both understand the problem and send the right form for a loaner laptop. Moveworks has a “deep, semantic understanding of the kinds of problems employees experience and how they express them,” CEO Bhavin Shah says. Big customers like Autodesk, Western Digital and Nutanix are on board. – 27 | Rev.com Headquarters: Austin, TX Founder: Jason Chicola (CEO), David Abrameto, Mark Chen, Paul Huck, Dan Kokotov. Funding: $31 million Valuation: $206 million In June, transcription service Rev.com said that its tests show that its word error rate on podcast transcriptions was lower than what Google, Amazon or Microsoft’s tools produced. While developers can buy access to that completely automated speech recognition engine, its network of freelance transcribers also use it to make their client work easier and faster. CEO Jason Chicola says this hybrid approach leads to higher- quality, cheaper transcriptions. “Language is incredibly complex—think accents, mumbling, arcane terminology, bad microphones, background noise,” says Chicola. “Humans are far, far better at making judgment calls for these real-world factors.” – 26 | Noodle.ai Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Stephen Pratt (CEO), Raj Joshi, Martha McGaw, Ted Gaubert, Matt Denesuk Funding: $51 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $210 million, via Pitchbook Stephen Pratt first saw machine learning in action while working as a consultant on a Department of Defense project in the early 1990s. Computers were too slow and data too expensive to make AI practical at the time, but roughly three decades later, Pratt teamed up with investment firm TPG to help it identify a data analytics company to buy or invest in. After a yearlong search he couldn’t find the right fit and joined IBM Watson, but only stayed for eight months before deciding to build something new with TPG’s backing. Pratt gathered a handful of industry vets as his cofounders and Noodle.ai launched on Pi Day 2016 (3.14.16). The startup charges a one-time fee to create AI software for industrial and transportation companies, with a monthly hosting fee on top. It’s booked $50 million in total contract value from the likes of XoJet and Big River Steel. – 25 | Kodiak Robotics Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Founders: Don Burnette (CEO), Paz Eshel Funding: $40 million Valuation: $210 million, via Pitchbook The red-hot autonomous trucking space is full of well-funded competition, but that inherent risk isn’t deterring Kodiak Robotics cofounders Don Burnette and Paz Eshel (the two met on a sky-diving trip, after all). The idea is that autonomously driving cargo-laden trucks down a highway could be a nearer-term and even more attractive commercial opportunity than passenger vehicles. Kodiak recently started shipping household goods in between Dallas and Houston, Texas, but said that it can’t name clients just yet. Ultimately, it plans to build its own comprehensive logistics business instead of selling its technology to other carriers. – 24 | ClimaCell Headquarters: Boston Founders: Shimon Elkabetz (CEO), Rei Goffer, Itai Zlotnik Funding: $80 million Valuation: $217 million, via Pitchbook ClimaCell’s cofounders all had what CEO Shimon Elkabetz describes as “life-threatening experiences due to poor weather forecasts” while serving in the Israeli military, inspiring them to try to find a way to make predictions more accurate. The company uses vast quantities of nontraditional data—like signals from cellphones, internet-of-things devices and street cameras—to issue hyperlocal “street-by-street, minute-by-minute” weather forecasts. More than 150 corporate customers, including JetBlue, the New England Patriots and ride-sharing service Via, are shelling out for its real-time predictions. – 23 | AEye Headquarters: Pleasanton, CA Founders: Luis Dussan (CEO), Ransom Wuller, Jordan Greene, Barry Behnken Funding: $65 million Valuation: $220 million, via Pitchbook AEye wants to improve the “eyes” of autonomous cars, robots and drones by combining laser lidar— which stands for “light detection and ranging”—with a high-definition camera. That integrated system can increase the speed and decrease the power consumption of a self-driving car’s perception system, says CEO Luis Dussan, who worked at Northrop Grumman and NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab before founding the company. – 22 | Brain Corp. Headquarters: San Diego Founders: Eugene Izhikevich (CEO), Allen Gruber Funding: $125 million Valuation: $240 million via Pitchbook Brain Corp. aims to upgrade dumb machinery with robotic software. It’s tackling the world of floor-cleaning equipment first, partnering with manufacturers to make their machines better at avoiding obstacles in busy environments. Walmart announced earlier this year that nearly 2,000 stores will be humming with BrainOS-powered cleaners by the end of 2019. “I have always dreamed of building artificial brains,” says neurobiology researcher and CEO Eugene Izhikevich. “Starting Brain Corp. gave me this opportunity.” – “I have always dreamed of building artificial brains.” BrainCorp CEO Eugene Izhikevich 21 | Domino Data Lab Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Nick Elprin (CEO) Funding: $80.6 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $260 million, via Pitchbook Domino Data Lab’s software-as-a-service platform provides data scientists with the “picks and shovels” they need to build, test and run their own AI models. CEO Elprin describes its as a sort of GitHub for experts and its 70-plus client lists include big enterprises and startups alike, including Allstate, Instacart, Dell, Gap and FabFitFun. – 20 | Matterport Headquarters: Sunnyvale, CA Founders: Matt Bell, David Gausebeck, Michael Beebe (no longer active employee) - (CEO: RJ Pittman) Funding: $115 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $355 million, via Pitchbook Matterport makes hardware and software for creating realistic 3D models. Its image processing technology, called Cortex, works with its own 3D camera, as well as a selection of cheaper 360-degree cameras, to let users create virtual versions of their space. The company’s leaning into the real estate market, showcasing how agents can use it to give 3D tours. – 19 | PathAI Headquarters: Boston Founders: Andy Beck (CEO), Aditya Kholsa Funding: $75 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $375 million, via Pitchbook Andy Beck was rising up the ranks of the Harvard Medical School faculty when he quit to cofound PathAI with Aditya Khosla. Beck, who spent more than five years as a pathologist at Harvard, wants to make it easier for other pathologists to diagnose diseases like cancer by using machine learning to more quickly and accurately analyze images of cells. For the time being, its tools are used not so much by doctors as they are by researchers at pharmaceutical companies. The Boston-based startup boasts a client list of the world’s largest pharma giants, such as Novartis, Gilead Sciences and Bristol-Myers Squibb. – 18 | People.ai Oleg Rogynskyy of People Ai Headquarters: San Francisco Founder: Oleg Rogynskyy (CEO) Funding: $100 million Valuation: $500 million, via Pitchbook People.ai CEO Oleg Rogynskyy says he’ll never forget the moment he realized how much time salespeople spend doing nonsales things. At the time, he was an early employee at a company called Nstein Technologies. “The COO of Nstein grounded the whole sales team for a week in a sweaty, windowless conference room to go and clean up our Salesforce,” Rogynskyy recalls. That week inspired him to address “bad” customer relationship management data head-on, he says. In 2016, Rogynskyy founded People.ai, which integrates into CRM systems like Salesforce and automatically inputs relevant data from email, calendars, Slack chats and more, and advises salespeople on the “best” tasks to focus on. VMware, Zoom, New Relic and Lyft are all customers. – 17 | Standard Cognition Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Jordan Fisher (CEO), Michael Suswal, David Valdman, John Novack, Brandon Ogle, Dan Fischetti, TJ Lutz Funding: $86 million Valuation: $535 million Goodbye, cashiers. Hello, cameras. Standard Cognition is working on an autonomous checkout system where shoppers can wander through a store, picking out goods and pay without scanning their items or interacting with an employee. Its overhead cameras track individuals and items continuously (notably, its so-called entity cohesion doesn’t rely on facial recognition, which it says gives shoppers more privacy). “We have essentially created autonomous checkout for everyone who is not Amazon,” the company says. Standard Cognition has opened a pop-up in San Francisco to show off its tech and says that it’s in “shadow mode” testing in several stores in North America. – 16 | Verkada Headquarters: San Mateo, CA Founders: Filip Kaliszan (CEO), Hans Robertson, James Ren, Benjamin Bercovitz Funding: $59 million Valuation: $540 million Verkada has only been selling its products for two years, but it has already boomed to a $540 million valuation and more than 1,200 customers. A lineup of cloud-connected security cameras equipped with AI-driven features like object and movement detection has driven growth at Verkada, whose cofounders are three Stanford computer science graduates and the cofounder of enterprise cloud company Meraki, which sold to Cisco for more than $1 billion. Among the company’s wide-ranging list of clients are fitness club Equinox, the $1.1 billion Vancouver Mall and more than 500 school districts, which use the cameras for anything from monitoring student safety to tracking food deliveries. It earned a spot on Forbes’ list of Next Billion-Dollar Startups earlier this year. – 15 | Feedzai Headquarters: San Mateo, CA Founders: Nuno Sebastiao (CEO), Pedro Bizarro, Paulo Marques Funding: $82 million Valuation: $575 million Since Feedzai launched back in 2011 to fight fraud and money laundering, many more competitors have started touting how their own tools move beyond rules-based systems to machine learning, too. CEO Nuno Sebastiao says the company has adapted to the new hoards by automating its model building and rolling out new visual analysis tools. He highlights major customers including Citi Bank and Lloyds Banking Group in the United Kingdom as proof of its product’s traction. – 14 | SentinelOne Headquarters: Mountain View, CA Founders: Tomer Weingarten (CEO) and Almog Cohen Funding: $230 million Valuation: $600 million, via Pitchbook SentinelOne CEO Tomer Weingarten says he and his cofounder started the company in 2013 because antivirus software at the time was “some flavor of bad, incomplete, ineffective, and /or painful to deploy and operate.” They spent the past six years figuring out how to make endpoint security (which focuses on data coming from laptops, phones, and other network-connected devices) smarter, training machine learning models to detect malware in files and running in applications. The company has over 2,500 customers, including Estee Lauder and Autodesk, and it says it’s on the verge of announcing a major partnership with one of the largest PC makers to offer SentinelOne tech on its enterprise devices. – 13 | Bright Machines Headquarters: San Francisco Founder: Amar Hanspal (CEO), Tzahi Rodrig, Lior Susan Funding: $200 million Valuation: $679 million, via Pitchbook While factories have become increasingly automated over recent decades, Bright Machines believes that robotic systems are finally ready for primetime deployment. “Until now, the most complex operations in manufacturing have been too difficult for blind and dumb robots to perform with the same precision and fidelity as humans,” says CEO Amar Hanspal, adding that advances in computer vision and machine learning have changed the game. The company just released its first product in June: So-called “microfactories,” or closed systems with robotic arms that can complete tasks like inserting chips in a circuit board. – 12 | Upstart Upstart cofounders Dave Girouard, Anna M. Counselman, and Paul Gu Headquarters: San Carlos, CA Founders: Dave Girouard (CEO), Anna M. Counselman, Paul Gu Funding: $164 million Valuation: $750 million, via Pitchbook Upstart CEO Dave Girouard admits that most of the early team of former Google employees had no history in financial services when they came up with the idea to apply advanced data science to the credit process in 2012: Only the belief that the current system was antiquated and exclusionary. By using data not typically found in a person’s credit history to find more nuanced risk patterns, Girouard says Upstart’s lending model has higher approval rates and lower interest rates than traditional methods, with loss rates that are “less than half” of those of peer platforms. To-date, more than 300,000 individual borrowers have used Upstart to get a loan. – 11 | Fundbox Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Eyal Shinar (CEO), Tomer Michaeli, Yuval Ariav Funding: $140 million Valuation: $750 million Fundbox has a data-driven take on lending that facilitates loans to small businesses rather than regular people. Founder Eyal Shinar says that seeing his mother, who ran a staffing agency, struggle with cash flow inspired the idea of advancing customers for outstanding invoices. A company that wants a loan through Fundbox connects their existing finance tools to its platform, which then uses these data streams to assess risk and either approve the loan or not. Shinar says that process can take as little as three minutes. – 10 | Anduril Industries Headquarters: Irvine, CA Founders: Palmer Luckey, Brian Schimpf (CEO), Trae Stephens, Matt Grimm, Joe Chen Funding: $180 million Valuation: Just under $1 billion Former Oculus cofounder Palmer Luckey is back after his dramatic exit from Facebook (he has hinted that the company fired him from the virtual reality unit for his political views, which it denies) with a defense technology startup called Anduril Industries, founded in 2017. The company makes a threat-detection system, using data from sensors mounted on towers, drones, and vehicles to create a real-time, 3D model of an area. It has contracts with the Marine Corps and UK’s Royal Navy, as well as with Customs and Border Protection for what has been described as a controversial “virtual border wall.” Following a report that it became a unicorn after a recent fundraise, the company confirmed to Forbes that it now has $180 million in total funding and a near-billion valuation. – 9 | Scale AI Headquarters: San Francisco Founders: Alexandr Wang (CEO) Funding: $122 million Valuation: $1 billion Alexandr Wang’s data labeling startup Scale AI has gained so much attention from customers — particularly autonomous transportation companies, which need gobs of well-labeled data to train their systems — that he’s running a unicorn company before his 23rd birthday. Scale works with tens of thousands of contractors and though Wang says that the company uses machine learning to help improve the accuracy of its labeling, those humans are core to its mission. “ML is very much garbage-in garbage out, so we focused on quality from day one,” he says. – 8 | Hippo Insurance Headquarters: Palo Alto, CA Founders: Assaf Wand (CEO), Eyal Navan Funding: $209 million Valuation: $1 billion Hippo Insurance is one of a handful of companies trying to make the process of applying for home insurance faster and more Millennial-friendly. It pulls public data about a property to automatically answer many of the questions a typical insurer would ask, which means it can quickly dole out quotes, and pulls data from aerial images and smart home sensors to detect issues that could lead to claims in real-time. Hippo sells policies backed by established insurers, rather than underwriting them itself, and takes a commission off each one. – 7 | Icertis Headquarters: Seattle Founders: Samir Bodas (CEO), Monish Darda Funding: $211 million Valuation: $1 billion Icertis, which celebrated its ten-year anniversary earlier this year, manages nearly 6 million contracts. Its cloud-based platform helps companies analyze past contract negotiations and automate administrative tasks. These offerings have brought on clients from more than 90 countries, including Airbus (France), Daimler (Germany), and Microsoft, the company where CEO Samir Bodas was previously a director. – 6 | DataRobot Headquarters: Boston Founders: Jeremy Achin (CEO), Tom de Godoy Funding: $431 million Valuation: $1.2 billion, via Pitchbook DataRobot wants to automate as much of a data scientist’s job as possible. The company just raised a new $206 million Series E round of funding as it develops the software that it says has helped customers like United Airlines, PNC Bank, and Deloitte build their own predictive models. The company boasts that users only need “curiosity and data,” and not coding skills, to use its platform to answer business questions with machine learning. – 5 | Dataminr Headquarters: New York City Founders: Ted Bailey (CEO) Funding: $577 million Valuation: $1.59 billion, via Pitchbook Dataminr ingests public internet data, like social media posts, and uses deep learning, natural language processing, and advanced statistical modeling to send users tailored alerts. The company has more than 500 clients paying its subscription fees, including Amazon, CNN, and The United Nations, which uses the system to find early signs of potential humanitarian crises around the world. – 4 | Lemonade Daniel Schreiber & Shai Wininger of Lemonade Headquarters: New York City Founders: Daniel Schreiber (CEO), Shai Wininger Funding: $480 million Valuation: $2.1 billion, via Pitchbook Lemonade sells renters and homeowners insurance, though, unlike Hippo, it is actually a licensed policy carrier itself. It uses a chatbot to collect customer information and work through claims — 30% of which apparently don’t require human intervention to be resolved. It now has more than 500,000 customers, the majority of whom are first-time insurance buyers. – 3 | Uptake Headquarters: Chicago Founders: Brad Keywell Funding: $258 million Valuation: $2.3 billion, via Pitchbook Uptake CEO Brad Keywell says his company is in the business of making sure things work, “whether it’s the U.S. Army’s Bradley Fighting Vehicle, or the components that make up Rolls-Royce’s fleet of market-leading engines.” It’s brought in more than 100 industrial customers on its way to a $2.3 billion valuation. With a huge database of machine failures at its disposal, the five-year-old company leverages artificial intelligence to analyze how its customers’ machines can run better and avoid these failures. “There is no more guesswork or operating blindly involved,” says Keywell, who cofounded Groupon before founding Uptake. – 2 | Aurora Innovation Headquarters: Palo Alto Founders: Chris Urmson (CEO), Sterling Anderson, Drew Bagnell Funding: $696 million, via Pitchbook Valuation: $2.57 billion, via Pitchbook A trifecta of autonomy and transportation experts from Tesla, Uber, and Google came together to build Aurora, a self-driving car company that plans to sell its system to automakers instead of operating its own fleet (it currently has a deal with Hyundai to provide software for its future Kia models). A recent round of funding from Sequoia Capital, Amazon, and T. Rowe Price makes it one of the best-funded players in an increasingly crowded space. – 1 | Nuro Headquarters: Mountain View Founders: Jiajun Zhu (CEO), Dave Ferguson Funding: $1.03 billion Valuation: $2.7 billion After working for more than five years each on Google’s self-driving project, Dave Ferguson and Jiajun Zhu were done trying to ferry people around in autonomous vehicles. So, they ditched humans for local goods. Nuro’s driverless delivery vehicles have completed thousands of trips to shoppers through a partnership with Kroger in Texas. Shifting from people to pasta and Poptarts eliminates safety and technical constraints. “You can drive more conservatively because you don’t have someone inside the vehicle that’s getting frustrated,” Ferguson says. – Additional reporting by Kenrick Cai and Kristin Tablang. Get Forbes’ daily top headlines straight to your inbox for news on the world’s most important entrepreneurs and superstars, expert career advice, and success secrets.

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