#villemel

[villemel]

Living the high lie [sic.]

No rules, no instructions No frontiers or boundaries As we strive higher Bypassing the physical World of self-sufficiency So many strings attached We must surely fly by Taking life for granted Food, shelter, rest No transition yet On lowland farms Seeking lonely paths Who am I to tell And they to listen Deciding upon change Breathing pranayama Periods of years pass Consuming marijuana Mastery coming later Like Ludwig's opera

I only need one pill To make the world work Never too late to try Beings soaring high

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#fiction #identity #life #modern life #reflection #writing #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled poetry #poetry #mel vil #villemel

[villemel]

#ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai expression #ai generated #ai art community #villemel #mel vil #eurydice #viper #snake #serpents #midjourney #ai girl #ai model #ai woman #aiartcommunity #ai

[villemel]

Oedipus Rex after Sophocles

#inked #tatted #tatouage #tattooed #tattooed girls #tattoo art #ai tattoos #inked girls #inked life #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil

[villemel]

Winter sunlight II

Of signs, nervousness long since not felt Youth hostels in chicky neighbourhoods Sat leant against the railings Sat controlling a desire. Nothing had been important in such a long time. Now the time has come, now it’s here Walking arm in arm, no longer face to face The start of a new journey, a different direction Yet with a non-real destination, just an aimless wander, Fingers crossed and hands held Not having had to make a single decision yet It’s hard to tell, where we would go When forced to place value on these feelings This bond. So natural, so un-out-of-the-ordinary. This is no longer a confession I’ve made my choice and know what I’ll do Let’s place my greed to one side Just for a moment, think What is possible, what will be needed? This journey could be long Fatigue may set in.

[ . . . ]

–––

Part two of a seven part poem (see below for part one)

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[villemel]

Winter sunlight VII

We never even discuss what happened after breakfast Before we could work that far back We reach another junction That’s two now And we must take stock I have something to tell you. Something important Let’s preface it with some substance I’ll tell you where we’re going Because I know you’ll like the surprise Then it’s out as if it were a passing observation. I open myself to you We move from cars to people Where we wanted to be Direction is no longer important We’ll get there Hopefully once the doors have been opened Until there there’s a lifetime lived And we must catch up.

There were deep flecks But overriding is the timing Spring, not to mention the location.

–––

Last part of a seven part poem

#baroque scifi #poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil #winter sunlight

[villemel]

Winter sunlight VI

Something carried us blindly through In the beginning from light to dark The passage of the houses, A straight line down the hill Until we could go no further But even then we thought nothing of it. This way looks better.

Where are we going? Wasn’t it a surprise? What about this day of yours? What about these children of yours? The conversation lasts as we walk forwards Following the same route.

[ . . . ]

–––

Part six of a seven part poem (see below for parts I-V)

#baroque scifi #poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil #winter sunlight

[villemel]

Winter sunlight V

These first words are our reference, The origin of everything shared We seek back to find the first signs Share our secrets and privileged views And this will be the basis for all. The pot in which we grow.

Before you know it we’re stood under blossom The daylight my first I see the green and brown flecks Hidden by the dark world which inhabits us Yet here in the filtered light all becomes clear

[ . . . ]

–––

Part five of a seven part poem (see below for parts I-IV)

#poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil

[villemel]

Winter sunlight IV

One step further forward, And we’re lost once more. How could I have feared a thing? We exchange our ideas, Pull our bodies closer This path is our currency All destinations are valued This way or that We’ll need to reorient Pause, recover and dream Stare into each others eyes, But then it’ll start again

[ . . . ]

–––

Part four of a seven part poem (see below for parts I-III)

#poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil

[villemel]

Winter sunlight III

So out of practice So long lost Yet here again Against the odds Happy to be so.

Then at some point Night fell around us This is where it began Aimlessly walking around With overtones of nonchalance, In the dusk our paths lock Now we’re on parallel trajectories We don’t know where we’re going I didn’t know this would unfold Milestones measure concessions Not distances travelled This is what we should do Now I must tell you this

[ . . . ]

–––

Part three of a seven part poem

#baroque scifi #poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil #winter sunlight

[villemel]

Winter sunlight I

As if words would crumble away As if the first were the most important No longer the first step of a long journey But the weight of pressure Having to withhold an entire experience How can I live up to this? By moving backwards? There used to be a way Then there wasn’t Now there is An apparent step back Disguised as a step forwards Or vice versa

[ . . . ]

–––

Part one of a seven part poem

#baroque scifi #poets on Tumblr #original poem #poetry #poemblr #poem #original poetry #poets of tumblr #ai artwork #ai art #ai image #ai artist #ai aesthetic #villemel #mel vil #winter sunlight

[villemel]

Emerging purpose / Pathways elucidated

Similar to the loop

That sends us the new way

there it is complementary

Without being monotonous

Harmony, joy, passion, love

The bonds of these

Who doesn't jump back down

Yet adapt with professionalism

the happy life peppered with relay

for a buoyant life

When the risk is to drown

Voted for some support

Having begun to find need

technically on command

Is all very well

But to seat the essentials

How to react now

If the army is lost

Add a downward yard

Pick up speed

Is the absence of stops

Mark the way with candles

Hammer it safety pegs

Use a rope and harness

All these reflexes

Precautionary activities

somewhat absent

When those things I prefer

have jostled the brain

Take to meditating

In zones of danger

Adopt, adapt mother Lightness

Find my way into battle

Invite other moments

To escalate their self

Not so hard after all

To keep everything oiled

Embed general instruction

seems to negate the bare

of what risk can there be

if living in a constant state flows

(if/when) force output dipped

A demonstrably success

Trickles down a scale

Not a diminishing feel

In and of itself

But a contributing network

Where it's the reward system

Is what begins to fail

A higher state I achieved

All is bright and well

But when prodded a little

Something reveals a learned chink

Weakly a purpose emerges

Disarming any the day

That to once thought the way

Motivation revealed

Pathways elucidated

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[villemel]

Before psilocybin, there was fluoride

There was one smile this morning, and it came with divine timing. I watched as I circled back and she approached the library door. My heart bled. Maybe they forgot to change their clocks, but most probably it was her. But if she hadn't I would have still been mulling over this bald guy in the hoody.

He later passed under my window, which overlooks the park, on his way back to his hovel. By that time, I was pleasantly daydreaming about how I might have helped her to while away the next three quarters of an hour. He was still frowning.

Not that there's anything wrong with frowning. It's just that there's appropriate attire to go with it. When you're dressed well, then you'll be taken for granted. But wearing anything else, and you'll just stir fear and guilt. Oh, and before I forget: it clashes with direct eye contact.

When you're this sensitive, it's hard to leave the house without picking up some new trauma. Even in close circles, it's compounded by comments like, 'you should see someone' or 'you have so much darkness in your past' and so on and so forth.

The point isn't that stuff from the past still bothers me. It's more about what happened this morning. You see the thing is, the people who most need help aren't the ones who ask for it. It's the one's who think they're perfectly normal.

I have the right to express myself, they tell me. And I say to them there are limitations, but forget to issue a trigger warning and a teachable moment is lost.

He wasn't doing anything wrong, they tell me. And I say to them how the hell could you know that from where you were stood? The business end was pointed our way.

For them, it's like if you get triggered it's your fault. Oh yeah? So why didn't the girl who forgets to change her clocks start smashing the doors and screaming at passers-by?

No, I didn't do anything wrong. That's why she was where she was when I walked on, having seen him, taken a detour and still be approached. She was still smiling, because the library doors were still some way off and time goes in that direction.

#tw dog walks #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled ink #tw vent #tw rant #personal post #personal rant #life #city life #park life #aita #totally not projecting #totally not #writing #mel vil #villemel

[villemel]

How else do you find form?

My closest brush with death was on the death road. It's embarrassing, but what paradox isn't. I rounded the corner and there was this truck.

I could have stopped, but instead I decided to risk the dust cloud between its wheels and the edge of the precipice. Just like Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder, only I was on a rental mountain bike and this was Bolivia.

Then a midnight dive in a swimming pool about a month or more into this binge portrayed by oh so many close calls. The white flash in my mind was like my first enlightenment.

That first time was in my early teens. I hadn't been practicing meditation for long, and then suddenly everything went white. Like a hit of crack, it was gone and I wanted more.

I tread a narrow path, and now risks are relative. But intense sensation still beckons; emotions and stability are understood in terms of anti-fragility.

Yes, I'm now robust and resilient, striding through the shadows and usurping power. But it's not my fault; I did take those decisions, but mt life was already debased.

So, what does waking up mean? Only discovering one truth at a time. 'You should talk about your problems'. I already did. 'Well, it took me a long time'. Read my books.

This is normal considering what other people did wrong. Nothing's changing it; it's not going away. Just look at us, look at our success, but then look at how we're still unsatisfied and yelling into the void.

The answer's not less trauma; it's more, but of a higher quality. Time causes scenarios to evolve in complexity, and I marvel at the contrived nature, smiling in the knowledge my mind created it all.

Not slowing down on the death road was my best move ever. I wore my blue t-shirt with its yellow affirmation until it fell apart. And then I wore it some more.

#writing #perception #death #death road #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilledink #life decisions #mel vil #villemel

[villemel]

I'm the kind of reader who dissolves into a novel's typeface, tweaks its tesseract and emerges in the writer's space-time, where I proceed to psychoanalyse him/her/them. Mostly it's to find out why, but often it's in vain hope.

#books and reading #reading #writing #creative writing #writing community #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #science fiction #time travel #mel vil #villemel

[villemel]

Could go either way

Four seasons in a walk, that's what I'd say. But there's no hope if we allow what's in our hands to lead us astray. This tourist with his smartphone, me with my dog, but then there's this lady, just staring like someone spat in her food.

What's your problem? I communicate in language that is not only politcally incorrect and insulting, but probably also objective, I reassure myself. You see the issue is my dog does these circles because he carried a benign tumour in his gut for who knows how many years and that's just the way it is, and what do you want me to do? Not clean his leash?

I starts with food, moves to money and before you know it you're suffering from traumatic indigestion. It's easy to diagnose: the main symptom is yesterday's ignorance isn't being processed quickly enough to make space for today's, and you lash out.

At any rate, I can circle back, because it's important for me, and if you're just going to approach a man with a dog in the park with your attention fully on your phone screen, I'm not going to take the rap. These leaves are only going to be there until some guy comes along and blows them away and with this diffuse light on a cloudy day, chances are I'll miss this shot otherwise.

On the way in, because of all of that, I smile at a woman on a bicycle, who's not even supposed to be riding where she is, and that's usually already a trigger, and she smiles back and it's clearly wider than recent smiles and it spreads across her face and a human person emerges.

Now I'm home safe, believing the world can be changed one smile at a time, except in case of reproving stares by people believing they will change the world. They're not wrong; they just don't know what kind of change they're catalysing.

#spilld thoughts #spilled ink #prose #personal blog #vent #city life #writing community #writing #writer #writeblr #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #mel vil #villemel

[villemel]

Next stop: Gare de Lyon

This time, this is it. I'm finished with the excuses. I'm done with the reasons. For all these years, I've told myself, 'you can't do it, you work in diplomacy. It has to be hidden; it has to be secret.'

And now, it's all broken anyway. It wasn't a government after all. It wasn't even the enemy within. It's all collapsed but at least I know why: Too many principles; clinging too tightly.

My attention strays, as I wind my way through the Parc des Bastions. I thought I'd silenced this attachment. I thought it was only supposed to alert me of something important.

So, it is important. And I need a dry seat to sit and read this. But there's none, and besides it's perfect with the greens turning brown, and the bark mulch is still fresh and fragrant. My heart races.

I didn't read it right the first time, but now Jojo's found a spot that's appropriate for his morning movement, and if I don't close in straight away I might lose valuable minutes—half-way through—looking for it and tracing the arc he adopts surely just to complicate my life.

No, he's not that way. That's just my machinations telling me 'everyone's out to get me'. As if that were the problem. I pull to a halt alongside one of the plinths in front of the Reformation Wall.

Now I can focus. I can get to the end, knowing it's just the beginning, and if I'm not patient I might just mess it all up. #It's lucky I don't have all the power in the world / So I can't just fuck everything else up. But why would I give up all this up?

Because I've been planning to anyway? No, I'm tired of chasing my tail in self-doubt. I didn't get into this for the wrong reasons, and it was my strength and not my weakness, and that's why it's so perfect.

So why dismantle perfection? I've felt like this before, followed my heart when it pounds like this, and it brought me all the way here, thinking about hopping on that train with the same carelessness with which I'm going to click a mouse button and try to move on with my day.

Because that's what's got to end. I'm tired of binding myself daily with my mouth only to squirrel away the words from my pen.

#spiled thoughts #writing #mindfulness #spilled ink #personal post #life changing #letting go #no more excuses #autumn vibes #mel vil #villemel