#we all knew kite man was terrible

[k1ss-m3-b3tt3r]

𖣯 High as a Kite 𖣯

pairing: jonathan byers x male! reader (romantic)

summary: smoking weed takes away the feeling of loneliness by providing you with the most perfect food combinations and your best friends. jonathan tries to confess but you cant comprehend a word he says, making him embarrassed and you, wearing fuzzy llama socks, screaming in laughter.

warnings: cursing, weed, awkward but cute fluff :)

a/n: i love fluff and have such a weak heart for jonathan! also happy yule!!! not revised btw

you were always a stoner and somewhat a loner, until you met jonathan and argyle. whenever it was awkward, you would crack a joke and no one could stop laughing. its just something you picked up from high school a while back, the class clown title. you couldnt deal with emotions so getting high was comforting and you were better explaining how you feel while smoking.

while being a cool stoner, youre also oblivious as fuck. everyone notices and im pretty sure you lost most brain cells, but to jonathan you were perfect. not everything about you was perfect, definitely not, but the way you show that goofy smile really lights up the room was magical. it was a hard core crush at this point.

you were never really part of the group until last year, after all the shit that went down in hawkins. you started hanging out with argyle, liking his stoner ways and matched his energy perfectly. “we are all one with the world” and “bro think about it, we’re all just brains! i dont get why people could hate each other.” were things you said quite often while stoned.

today was the day though: to confess. jonathan was nervous, like extremely after the whole thing with nancy and the break up. it hurt him definitely but he decided it was time to actually get out there and do what he wants to do. jonathan invited you over, thinking about how to do this correctly, so he prepped himself, rehearsing the lines. all of a sudden, the doorbell rings.

“ill get it!” jonathan yells while getting off of his ass as quick as possible. his hands were pretty sweaty so he wiped it off, heading to the front door.

“whos that?” joyce says genuinely curious, but of course she rolls her eyes and puts her hand on her hip and steps in front of jonathan. “youre doing all the chores for a week if thats (y/n).” joyce smiles a cheeky grin.

the doorbell starts again, but this time being pressed on a thousand times. “IM COMING!!” joyce yells ignoring jonathan. “wait..!” he tells joyce but she ignores him. shes his mother after all, not the other way around.

once the doors open, (y/n) spins around. “heyyyy miss joyce!” she turns and looks at jonathan with the i knew it face. “uhh, want me to wait out here- nevermind its too cold..” (y/n) jogs inside and acts like its the coldest hes ever felt. jonathan just looks at him like hes an idiot. “come on, lets just go to my room” as he sighs to himself.

before they go anywhere, (y/n) whispers, “hey, bro, hey.. i got the good shit and i may have smoked half of it in my car, but i left you some!” “get your ass in the room!” jonathan mumbles in an exhausted but hushed voice, trying to get (y/n) into a room.

“uh, bye i guess miss joyce..?” “uh huh, you too (y/n)…” she gives a questioning voice with her brow raised, “dont get into any trouble!” (y/n) laughs it off and runs into the bedroom like an idiot. you can here the springs get hit on jonathans bed all the way from the door way.

jonathan gives a little grin, heading towards his room. when he gets there (y/n) is already bringing out the bong, packing it terribly since hes already high as a kite. “hey bro, you gotta check this shit out, its feisty! back i say, back!” while acting like the bag of weed is after him. jonathan laughs and sits on the bed, taking the whole bowl down in a few hits.

“what is in this (y/n)..?” jonathan starts to feel prickles in his legs and his eyes droop. “i told its good shit! i know the best people my man” (y/n) packs another bowl and starts hitting that shit like crazy.

ten minutes later, theyre starting at the ceiling, on the floor of course. jonathan looks over and catches the other guys face, its practically glowing. the guy sits up and looks towards jonathan with his eyes glazed over. “bro… what did i come over here for again..?” jonathan hesitates, “um, i dont know..” jonathan turns away thinking about the confession hes supposed to make but clearly doesnt remember what he practiced.

“damn.. you know man, you cant lie to me even if im high,” (y/n) says as he ruffles his hair and stands up, walking in circles because it “feels good” as you can quote it. “ok ok, i just have to say one thing i guess?” (y/n) stops and stares at him, while jonathan is taking in all his features, down to his beautiful eyes and.. llama socks..??

jonathan sighs, sitting up and rubbing his hands against his face. “umm, (y/n)?” “yuh?” jonathan laughs and just says, “yuh? what does that even mean mannn?” (y/n) looks at him and bursts out laughing. jonathan looks at his hands, “what was i saying?” “bro, i cant even remember what we’ve done for the past uhhh i dont know twelve minutes?” “uh huh, really specific there (y/n)..” (y/n) just grins.

(y/n) stares at the llama socks and whispers, “i think theyre watching me…” jonathan stands up, urgently, asking who is while looking outside. “…the llamas bro…” jonathan looks at him as (y/n) makes that goofy grin. that goofy grin lit up his heart and he realizes what this whole thing was about. he sits next to (y/n) and give him a shy smile.

“ok so um..” jonathan thinks for a moment before blurting out, “i think im in love with you?” (y/n) jolts up and looks at jonathan. “i dont think ive eaten anything today. should i be worried? will i die?” “did you even hear what i said?” jonathan laughs and touches the other guys hand. “i. am. in. love. with. you. does that make sense??” (y/n) just looks at jonathan then looks at his hand and then the door. “if you really love me, get me food my guy.” jonathan sits dumbfounded as (y/n) says that, wondering how he even fell in love with the guy, before laughing. “alright, deal i guess??”

jonathan goes out of his room a little embarrassed, while (y/n) was doing something wild most likely. as soon as jonathan gets back with the food, you have already made a nest out of blankets and pillows on the floor. “what…??” jonathan takes a second before speaking again, “what are you doing?” (y/n) raised his hand, telling jonathan to stop speaking.

“i made a nest and i love you too loser.” (y/n) sits on the floor in his new nest, cuddled up in a ball. jonathan was too stunned to speak. he had to think about what was happening and almost dropped the chips he had in his hand. “so, you made me get food, built a nest, and now you say you love me??” “well..” (y/n) looks around, “yes? now get in.”

jonathan sits in the “nest” and (y/n) immediately pulls jonathan towards him, while sitting quietly. “you know you should brush your hair, its starting to look like an actual nest. jonathan starts laughing and fixing his hair. “is that better?” (y/n) looks at his nest below him and then looks back at jonathan, nodding to himself. “thatll do just fine.” (y/n) soft kisses his head.

jonathan looks around at the nest and then at the bags of chips before looking back at (y/n) again. “youre smoking privileges are being revoked after this.” jonathan laughs and (y/n) gives him a knowing look. “sure thing dude.. sure thing..”

#jonathan byers #jonathan byers x male reader #jonathan x male reader #x male reader #x reader #jonathan byers x reader #stranger things #stranger things x male reader #joyce byers #jonathan x reader

[6peaches]

Andrea Gibson - Birthday

At 12 years old I started bleeding with the moon and beating up boys who dreamed of becoming astronauts. I fought with my knuckles white as stars, and left bruises the shape of Salem. There are things we know by heart, and things we don’t.

At 13 my friend Jen tried to teach me how to blow rings of smoke. I’d watch the nicotine rising from her lips like halos, but I could never make dying beautiful. The sky didn’t fill with colors the night I convinced myself veins are kite strings you can only cut free. I suppose I love this life,

in spite of my clenched fist. I open my palm and my lifelines look like branches from an Aspen tree, and there are songbirds perched on the tips of my fingers, and I wonder if Beethoven held his breath the first time his fingers touched the keys the same way a soldier holds his breath the first time his finger clicks the trigger. We all have different reasons for forgetting to breathe.

But my lungs remember the day my mother took my hand and placed it on her belly and told me the symphony beneath was my baby sister’s heartbeat. And I knew life would tremble like the first tear on a prison guard’s hardened cheek, like a prayer on a dying man’s lips, like a vet holding a full bottle of whisky like an empty gun in a war zone just take me just take me

Sometimes the scales themselves weigh far too much, the heaviness of forever balancing blue sky with red blood. We were all born on days when too many people died in terrible ways, but you still have to call it a birthday. You still have to fall for the prettiest girl on the playground at recess and hope she knows you can hit a baseball further than any boy in the whole third grade And I’ve been running for home

through the windpipe of a man who sings while his hands playing washboard with a spoon on a street corner in New Orleans where every boarded up window is still painted with the words We’re Coming Back like a promise to the ocean that we will always keep moving towards the music, the way Basquait slept in a cardboard box to be closer to the rain.

Beauty, catch me on your tongue. Thunder, clap us open. The pupils in our eyes were not born to hide beneath their desks. Tonight lay us down to rest in the Arizona dessert, then wake us washing the feet of pregnant women who climbed across the border with their bellies aimed towards the sun. I know a thousand things louder than a soldier’s gun. I know the heartbeat of his mother.

Don’t cover your ears, Love. Don’t cover your ears, Life. There is a boy writing poems in Central Park and as he writes he moves and his bones become the bars of Mandela’s jail cell stretching apart, and there are men playing chess in the December cold who can’t tell if the breath rising from the board is their opponents or their own, and there’s a woman on the stairwell of the subway swearing she can hear Niagara Falls from her rooftop in Brooklyn, and I’m remembering how Niagara Falls is a city overrun with strip malls and traffic and vendors and one incredibly brave river that makes it all worth it.

Y’all, I know this world is far from perfect. I am not the type to mistake a streetlight for the moon. I know our wounds are deep as the Atlantic. But every ocean has a shoreline and every shoreline has a tide that is constantly returning to wake the songbirds in our hands, to wake the music in our bones, to place one fearless kiss on the mouth of that brave river that has to run through the center of our hearts to find its way home.

- Birthday by Andrea Gibson

#poem #poet #Andrea Gibson #Birthday

[curedeity]

Shogun Steel Episode 6:

-alright ren got her episode now to destroy any chance of her being a serious character by letting takanosuke take her pride.

-i love that maru is number 1 in the sound off. Maru appreciation

-ren would get along with tetsuya, shed do the krabby finger things

-why is everyone so mean to ren shes just a ray of sunshine :((( like come on zyro you should be excited to have her around

-benkei: synchrome beys are banned. I dont want this show to be fun

-maru didnt call tsubasa by his title and she shouldnt! She only respects madoka!

-why does rens hair look like that from the back? I elect we never discuss this again

-benkei just accepting ren makes me think she talked to him beforehand. Though it is in character for her to just show up (or maybe ren already knew benkei ahead of time. Like she would if someone had given her phoenix-)

-cant believe we dont get to see shinobu vs ren

-ren is constantly annoyed that her rivals are gays obsessed with each other and none of them will just professionally battle her

-benkei: I RUN A SMALL BUSINESS I NEED TO OPEN THE SHOP

-MARU HAS A LITTLE PONYTAIL OMG

-ren would steal all of julian konzerns money if they met

-benkei: whats up with ren? I have vegetarian options

-takanosukes voice. Omg. His voice. I always forget the specific cadence he has and am punched in the face with how much sillier it is than anything i can imagine. Thank god for his voice actor this is the silliest shit

-takanosuke: you cant be zyro kurogane! Zyro is a manly man amazing blader who couldnt possibly be a girl!

-takanosuke is misogynist im so surprised

-takanosuke and ren could be such fun rivals if takanosuke wasnt a dick wow

-takanosuke i swear to fucking god id you say another word against ren-

-seriously the way everyone in the story ignores her in favor of zyro is so incredibly frustrating and puts a terrible taste in my mouth. Even if you dont think the show is trying to pose that as a positive thing it makes the characters come off as unbelievably sexist.

-ren gets good character development. Not that shes allowed to be the focus, theres a boy here now so lets shove ren to the side

-takanosuke your crush is destroying your ability to be a likeable human being

-shinobu gets a nice speech from benkei. Ren doesnt. Mhm mhm i see the favoritism here

-nvm what i said about hating kite. Takanosukes introduction was so shit im never gonna be able to unsee it.

-i like shinobus arc to getting a special move, he did have a good arc this episode and it builds great off of shinobus character. Theyve finally set it up enough that they can pull off his character

-takanosuke shut up, you dont deserve a good moment this episode. I want him to run away crying.

-summary: i was expecting to dislike this episode as rens downfall but i was not expecting to hate it so extremely. The way they treat ren is so disrespectful that i cannot imagine ever liking takanosuke again without remembering this. Not to mention it souring the rest of the cast. I think i complain a lot about the treatment of women to the point i worry its become desensitized on this blog but this episode left me feeling terrible. Seeing depictions like this genuinely make me feel pushed aside and depowered as they take away my ability to be recognized as a person just because of my gender. An awful episode with very few redeeming qualities and i see no excuse for rens treatment.

#deity rewatches shogun steel to bully it #the sexism has appeared #beyblade #beyblade metal fight #beyblade shogun steel #im sorry takanosuke fans but honestly wtf was this introduction for him #mfb #im used to media making me feel like shit but wow rens treatment is just unforgiveable

[lowkey-gly]

"Losing My Father at a Young Age"

I remember the day vividly, as if it happened just yesterday. It was a warm summer afternoon, the sun shining brightly in the cloudless sky. I was just a young child, filled with innocence and wonder, unaware of the storm that was about to shatter my world.

My father was always a pillar of strength in our family. His laughter was infectious, his smile warm and comforting. He worked hard to provide for us, never once complaining about the long hours or the sacrifices he had to make. I admired him more than anyone else in the world, and I looked up to him with the kind of reverence only a child can have for their parent.

But on that fateful day, everything changed in an instant. I remember the phone call that shattered the peaceful hum of our household, the sound of my mother's anguished cries piercing through the air. I rushed to her side, my heart pounding in my chest, sensing that something terrible had happened. And then she uttered those words that would forever alter the course of my life - "Your father... he's gone."

I couldn't comprehend it at first. How could someone so strong, so vibrant, be taken away from us just like that? My mind refused to accept the reality of the situation, and I clung to the hope that it was all just a terrible mistake. But as the days passed and the truth sank in, the weight of my loss bore down on me with crushing force.

In the weeks that followed, our house felt emptier than ever before. The silence that once felt comforting now felt suffocating, a constant reminder of the void left by my father's absence. I would catch myself staring at his favorite chair, half-expecting him to walk through the door with a smile on his face and a gentle word of reassurance on his lips. But he never came.

As I struggled to come to terms with my grief, I found solace in the memories of my father. I would close my eyes and picture his face, etching every detail into my mind - the crinkle of his eyes when he laughed, the roughness of his hands when he tousled my hair, the deep timbre of his voice when he spoke. I held onto these memories like precious treasures, afraid that they would fade with time.

One memory in particular stands out among the rest, a moment frozen in time that I will carry with me always. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, and my father had promised to take me to the park to fly kites. We ran through the puddles, our laughter mingling with the sound of raindrops pattering against the pavement. I can still feel the thrill of the wind tugging at the strings of our kites, the joy of watching them soar high into the sky, tethered to earth by nothing but a thin thread.

In that moment, I felt invincible, like nothing could touch us, like we were the masters of our own little corner of the world. And as I looked up at my father's smiling face, eyes crinkled in mirth, I knew that I was loved beyond measure.

But now, as I stand on the precipice of adulthood, I realize that losing my father at a young age has shaped me in ways I never could have imagined. His absence has been a constant ache in my heart, a reminder of the fragility of life and the impermanence of our earthly bonds. But it has also been a source of strength, a wellspring of resilience that has carried me through the darkest moments of my life.

I have learned to cherish the memories of my father, to hold onto them with a fierce determination that defies the passage of time. I carry his legacy within me, a beacon of light that guides me through the storms of life. And though I will always mourn the loss of the man who gave me life, I know that his spirit lives on in me, in the lessons he imparted, the values he instilled, and the love he shared so freely.

As I look back on that warm summer afternoon, the day my father left this world, I am filled with a profound sense of gratitude for the time we had together. And though the pain of his absence will never fully heal, I find comfort in the knowledge that his love will always be a part of me, a guiding star in the vast expanse of life's unknown journey.

[stoptellinglieslois]

Red black and blue

As Clark and Dick start to re-bond again things escalate further for them.

Warning: sexually explicit fanfiction.

Superman x Nightwing pairing.

3.

I stayed bed ridden I broke both legs and fractured my wrist, I got into a huge fight with Bruce in front of the whole team they all heard us fighting over the ear piece.

That mission went to hell in a hand bag I stood on a glass roof top I underestimated my weight as I yelled at B.

He yelled back words were exchanged before I knew it I was looking up at him my vision blurred and then I blacked out.

And now here I am in my room at six in the morning wide awake the pain med's kicking in just fine.

Bruce and I haven't seen eye to eye in a long while about everything.

I heard a voice outside my bedroom door Alfred and..... Clark I wasn't expecting him it's so early.

But it's Clark so it's all good.

As I watched the shadows by the slit at the bottom of the door feet light and black shoes.

The door opens and Clark walks in my bedroom. "Hey how are you." He says a warm smile graced his handsome face.

"Besides my ego I am good." He frowned at me. " It's terrible what has happened to you has nothing to do with your ego, Your ego can fly a kite... I wish I was there to protect you." He said there was a chair beside my bed.

He sat down and he is wearing his work suit grey ill fitting one at that glasses too thick for him he noticed me examining him. "Going to work." I said. I took his glasses off his face. "There you are." Clark looked down. "Please Dick not this again." I didn't want to hear it.

"You deny a dying man even this." I hissed a sharp pain to my leg arose viciously.

"Are you ok."

"I am now... now that your here."

"Dick.. stop."

"Stop what."

"Flirting with me please here is also not the place for that."

"I can't." I reached and stroked his face smoothly Clark has no imperfection on his face.

He leaned into my touch his eyes closed this is the first time he reacted to me touching him, A small victory irrupted inside me I felt sheer happiness even while I am in this state.

"Are you here to take care of me I could use a sexy nurse." I said softly.

"Hmm." He answered eyes still closed just being submissive to my touch.

"Stay Clark I would love for you to stay awhile Bruce is not in the country, Even if he is here he's too busy for me."Clark can't back out of what's going on right now and throw all sorts of excuse to take off.

I want to remember this moment.

"God I wish my legs weren't broken." I was in pain and I felt like I could leap again off of the sky scraper Clark rebooted me.

"....Me too I also wish for a lot of things that can't help us now can they." He sighed deeply eyes closed black long lashes feathered out like a fan.

"What are you saying uncle Clark." I played up the uncle Clark part.

"I mean I can't talk here not in the manor but we should talk more when we have time." My room is not bugged or has any hidden spy wear no cameras, Bruce didn't want to listen and spy on his teenage ward.

"Then we could talk around it." I stroke his hair enjoying playing with the curl at the front.

"Dick that... feels so good." This is what I would ruin my relationship with Bruce each stroke of Clark's hair is more and more a step forward of taking a torch to any thing tied to this life.

And it would be worth it.

It would crash and burn and I would be happy to light up on fire just for Clark.

I ended up on a wheel chair missing school for three weeks, I did my homework in my bedroom it is very late at night I can't go patrolling I am just stuck here.

I picked up my cell and called Clark I was careful not to call him when B is home but when he was out and about. It is safe for me to do so.

Clark didn't pick up so I texted him.

And I continued on trigonometry, Hours later I took a break as I stretched my arms and back I was so sore.

Then I got an idea I spoke low. "Clark can you hear me it's Dick." A slow smile spread across my face.

"It's ok all you need to do is just listen to my voice." I haven't seen Clark since he saw me a month ago.

"I am stuck here held hostage because my body is not hundred percent, All I can think about is you all I dream about is you." I wouldn't know if he could hear me or not there is no telling me if he could.

So I kept talking. "Clark I imagine us together none stop." I bit my lip I wasn't expecting this to come out of my mouth I started breathing loud.

My heart is racing. "The things we could do together blows my mind." It is all so real as I start to really get into it.

"This may be new territory for you but for me I've always had this for you. I've always wondered about us.... doing it I know we should... it's too early but I want this Clark it would be so......bliss whatever you want to call it." My hand on my chest I closed my eyes as I imagined it in my mind.

"You are on top of me." I breath licking my lips as I hummed a sweet sound coming out my mouth.

"God Clark I've been with guys and girls before but this with you would be a whole new thing for me, Because it's you that's why." I started tracing my abs in a circling movement as I thought they were Clark's abs.

"Make me your's you wont regret it I swear I'll make you so happy Clark." My heart thunders in my chest as my hands started to explore my body.

"I could wait though for you." I rubbed my sore neck it felt good to touch myself.

"All I could do is wait."

We are under cover I am glad they asked me to come along, The restaurant that is more family oriented I was still in my wheel chair we are waiting for the other heroes me and B are the first to arrive.

As Diana came in a white dress then Clark came in wearing his dark grey suit, He slouched as he entered.

Are eyes connected instantly.

I remember the day I said all those things I hoped he heard me.

But there is nothing I can do now. "What do you want to order." Bruce asked me suddenly and looking at me expectantly. "Chicken and waffles and a coke." I answer looking away from Clark and at him.

We are actually spying on a few drug lords and they are in a Metropolis right now and they had connections with the drug lords in Gotham.

"Hello." Diana greeted us as she sat beside B, I sat in front of them, It is a round table of four seats there is only one seat left and it's for Clark.

He sat beside me.

The rest of them ordered and waited. I looked at our reflection I am sitting next to the window and the sun shines at the table.

I felt nervous yes I was with B and the amazon but me and Clark are close again.

The conversation is light as I felt thick fingers slid onto my thighs.

I had to stop myself from... because I was in shocked I wasn't expecting this from Clark.

Food came shortly after he did that he removed his hand but he traced it making it linger on my thigh before removing it all together.

I swear this is a tease or a test either way.

We ate and talked Clark never really looked in my direction then his thick large hands found its way onto my thigh again.

Pressing my thigh warm giant hands slowly traced up my thigh. "He's getting up." B said. "Lets see where he goes first." Diana said. Clark stopped playing with my thigh.

I couldn't do anything really I am stuck in this metal trap so all I could do is just be some sort of decoy.

"He's going to the washroom." Diana says a bit disappointed I think she thought that this would be more interesting.

I relaxed and exhaled I didn't think I was holding my breath.

Clark's hand found his way back on my thigh though I decided to join him, My fingers hesitantly joining his I slid my fingers lightly touching his.

Clark let me lace my hand with his.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN."

Since then when we took down the drug lords at the restaurant I haven't seen Dick since then.

That mission was completed and I walked away and I never made my way back to him.

So I asked him to visit me and come with me to the farm.

It's so beautiful in the fall in Smallville perhaps him being around my folks....and me would be a good change for him.

Bruce said he could come to the farm and visit my folks.

To be honest I have no idea what to do in this case with Dick.

So it's best to bring him far from Gotham to see what's up to be honest being in Gotham in the manor has been the reason why I've been hiccuping to be around Dick.

It's like me stepping into a crisis disaster that never happened yet.

As I drive to the manor the colour of fall leaves scatter around the old pick up truck, This is the first time I have felt being ok around the mansion because it's a brief moment like this will be a unique two weeks of my life.

Dick is so young still blooming as a young man, I need to think hard how I will approach this because I feel like I am blooming it's happening in my heart.

I haven't opened up yet Kryptonians and finding there mate I could feel all of my system starting up something a human may not understand or get.

I finally reached the manor and waited by the drive way in the truck.

Alfred carried Dick's folded wheel chair to the back of my pick up truck.

Bruce and Dick stood by the driveway helping Dick in the passenger seat.

Bruce putting crutches in the back of the truck.

As I looked to the side of me Dick looked at me fighting back passion inside that is brewing in me.

I tore my eyes away from Dick and Alfred waved as Bruce came around the truck already tossing Dick's luggage in the back.

"You call me everyday no delay no mix up got it."

"Yes Bruce god I am not four."

"Good and don't give the Kent's trouble."

"I don't think I ever have."

"Just be good."

"Don't worry I'll do my best not to ruin this trip and come home in one piece." Dick smiled faintly at Bruce.

"Thank you for taking Dick with you Clark."

"It's no problem Bruce."

"Good." He backed away from the truck that is his way of saying he is done with us.

just like that we drove away from the manor.

Dick and I made small talk nothing major just asking how is life with one another, We were walking on egg shells we knew what this trip meant.

"Do you wanna stop for some food Dick."

"Nah I could wait till we get to the farm."

"Ok..." The majority of the conversation was like this "how's the weather" type conversation.

It was quiet in the truck until Dick shy hand rubbed mine on the stirring wheel, I flexed my arm a bit as he shyly touched my arm feeling the muscle. "I didn't tell you to do that, hmm." I said. Dick looked ahead at the road.

"No you didn't but since you did that to me at the restaurant it's only fair I repay you the favour." Eyes still on the road his voice broke a bit since he is going through puberty.

"You owe me absolutely nothing."

"So that means it's ok that I can touch...you." His hand on my arm travels up.

"No it's not ok you need to focus on driving."

"Am I distracting you."

"Don't be cute."

"Ah you find me cute."

"....Yes but what I mean to say.."

"That you think I am hot right."

"Yes I do think your handsome."

"What else do you like about me."

"Your exactly my type."

"Ok being vague."

"You're funny and witty smart no your brilliant and you are.... the most lively person I have ever met before, I like the fact that you smile a lot that's good to see you smile." And it's true his smile gets me every time.

"you know everyone thinks I am just this kid I am glad you are starting to see me differently." Dick said. Drumming his fingers on my arm.

"I don't see you as a kid." It's true Dick is seventeen now.

"My feelings never changed for you I will always have this for you Clark." Dick kissed my arm.

I turned to him my eyes off the road for a moment. "Dick you could never tell anyone about this." I am as serious as a storm on a summers day.

"Well I never said a word to anyone how I felt about you."

"This would be bad news for me do you get that Dick."

"Clark I have no intentions of ruining what I want and I wanted this from the moment I met you." My eyes went back on the road.

"Well that's good Bruce would make his life mission to kill me with kryptonite." I squeezed the wheel he would murder me and put me out of my misery.

"I would save you."

I sighed in response. "Can I kiss you." Dick asked me shyly it was sweet but we were getting closer to Smallville already.

"I would have to pull over."

"Oh so could you pull over."

"I wasn't ....waiting for that all of a sudden." I said.

"Only for a moment." I gulp knowing this is where this would lead us I couldn't have been surprised, Because I never had been this sought out by anyone other than Dick.

He is the only one that heart beats fast when I come in the room yes I do have that from other people but only for Superman not for Clark Kent.

Dick liked my duality and never questioned it.

So I pulled over by a corn field and drove in it hoping it would give us enough privacy.

I unbuckled my seat belt and his.

Dick kissed me hungry and feverishly as soon as I took off his seat belt.

I leaned in his seat. Dick's deliciously sloppy tongue was in my mouth my insides and legs are on fire Dick started to undo my flannel shirt and I needed to stop him. "Dick stop we need to.... stop this is gonna escalate and we.... we gotta go ok."

"Clark I need you I want you.." he panted.

"Wait ok just wait." I promised.

"Hmm god Clark...ok I could wait." Dick breathed clutching my shirt leaning his fore head into mine. "Lets go Dick." I pulled away and Dick slumped on his seat.

"Ok then." Dick said. Scrubbing his face we drove in silence and reached the farm.

Ma and pa waited for us outside it was sweet waiting for us to welcome us they loved and adored Dick so much, I was lucky enough to get away from work for a little while and spend time with Dick and them.

I parked the car and left the truck to get Dick's wheel chair.

Dick rolled down his window. "Mr. and Mrs Kent god it's been ages since we saw each other." Dick exclaimed they are so delighted to have company for a while.

I placed the wheel chair so that I could wheel him in the house. "Come let's go I made a walnut and hazelnut pie for you boys." Ma said. rubbing her hands together the cooler air settles for the evening.

We walked along the path of the house it was late afternoon and the sun would set soon.

The fall weather and leaves of bright red blood orange sun yellow with evergreens looked like confetti when we walked down the path to the farm house.

It was always so beautiful in Smallville in the fall.

"Boys there is the fall festival going on if you boys want to go." Ma said. Placing steamed green peas in the centre of the table.

I looked at Dick who looked back at me shrugging like he didn't know what to do with that. "Ah sure we could go out for a bit." I concluded.

"Lana broke up with that I forget his name was it Tyler...Prince whatever his name they broke up ." Pa said. piling some carrots and peas on his plate.

"Good for Lana she needs someone in her life that is stable." I said. Not looking at Dick looking straight ahead.

"That's true she needs to be with someone stable it's been bad after a bad relationship for her." Ma said. Moving about the small kitchen.

"You're single Clark why not give it a shot."

"Lana does not like me." I said. I didn't want this to open up any wounds for me right now not at dinner I wanted to leave this behind I didn't want to talk about Lana.

"Oh Clark I was just saying well... sorry well." Ma stumbled with her words.

"Ma it's fine let's just move on."

"How about you Dick got anyone in your life." Pa said.

"Yes I do." I went still and quiet because he said yes instead of no for his answer.

"Oh wow I am happy for you Dick."

"Is it serious."

"You can't ask that he's seventeen Martha." Pa replied.

"I would love it to be serious I want to take it there." Dick said. Watching their reactions they seemed very happy to hear that.

I blushed.

"How long have you known this person I mean how long you've been seeing'em." Pa asked. cutting into his steak.

"I've known them for a long time it's been crazy." Yes it has been crazy it's a roller coaster for both of us we aren't solid dating we haven't done anything really we just gravitate to each other, And call one another or text sometimes zoom each other.

physical stuff is left behind.

"Oh how so."

"Ah I guess that person didn't want me at first, I... a lot of things got in the way." Dick said. more interested in this conversation then I wanted him to.

"Oh is that person a player." Pa asked.

"No they are the total opposite... I guess this is the time for us to give it a shot." Dick drank the apple juice beside him never looking in my direction.

He plays the fool very well.

"Clark do you know em." Ma said as she sat down and joined us at the table.

"He does know that person very well." Dick answered for me I looked at him for a split second and looked ahead this is nuts they don't know anything about us at all, Dick is being honest without revealing anything.

"Do you love em."

"Ma pa.." I cut in.

"Yes." Dick answers right away I tried to intervene but he cut me off.

"Wow this sounds so serious well I hope Clark could find this type of relationship." Ma said a sweet smile on her weather face.

She does not see it nor does pa so I play along so we could hide this untill the time is right.

"I want to meet this person."

"One day you will."

It feels nice to be out instead of being in my room, Out here with Clark is so freeing.

"We needed to get out of there I didn't know you would go.. and say anything to ma and pa."

"About what."

"Us."

"But I didn't did I."

"Yes but a simple no would have been better of an answer."

"But I didn't want to say no I wanted to say yes."

"I get that but I didn't know....."

"They would ask twenty questions."

"Yeah I didn't know about that."

"I am being honest with them without giving us away."

"Well... let's just enjoy the festival."

"I mean it Clark all of it."

A woman with dark red hair that went past her shoulders a yellow banadnas that held her thick hair back, she looked to be in her late twenties approaching us petite in built easy on the eyes.

She came directly our way looking at Clark she seemed nice. But her attention was directed towards him like she had hopes in her eyes and it was clear to me what her interest was.

"Clark long time no see." She exclaimed.

"Lana wow yeah long time huh... this is Dick Grayson." Clark said. She looked at me and smiled at me like I was a small child. "God what are you up to." Lana eyes roamed Clark form I didn't like this at all.

"Hanging out with Dick I wanted us to enjoy the night air instead of being cooped up inside." Clark answered by not changing anything and keeping the subject about me with his tone of voice before she came and interrupted us. We were having a conversation and we wanted to really talk she came and threw a monkey wrench in it.

"Oh that's great well how's Metropolis."

"It's great Lana I hear you broke up with um."

"Yes I did." She said rather quickly.

"Hey let's go on the spectacular ride." I had to end this she is tugging for information from Clark, I didn't like this there's something off with her.

"Sure thing chum I'll see you Lana." Clark wheeled me to the line up to get to the ride.

"I know you wanted out."

"Yes I did."

It is our turn to get on the ride Clark folded in my wheel chair and carried me inside.

"Let me sit beside you." I said. He settled me down next to him putting the folded wheel chair on the other side of the seat.

We waited for awhile and then we were off.

It's more of a slow ride we could see most of Smallville from here.

The glass windows that protect us it's a sight to see as we watched from down below.

"Imagine having sex here." I exclaimed.

"...That's funny but people can see." Clark said. Shying away from my question.

"It would be nice to go on these types of things, It's so nice out I can't remember how nice Smallville is." I couldn't hold my excitement.

"Let's do it Clark."

"....Are you crazy ... no way." Clark rejected.

"Well yes I am crazy jumping off buildings in one of the most notorious cities in America, With no super powers just some dude in a suit." I answer him by getting closer to him.

My arm creeping over to his knee.

"Then I am also crazy." Clark blushed and said it in a whisper.

"Two of a feather flock together." I inched closer to him.

"We can't do anything here." He put his large hand over my chest stopping me from coming closer it didn't stop me from seducing him though.

"Then where Clark." I was so close to his lips.

"..I... if we leave here it's just the barn and.. the basement." Clark stammered eyes half lidded.

"Sounds hot." I stated. Licking out at him as he restrains me from coming closer.

"We need to leave here Dick."

"Oh but we are trapped up here."

"We will have to wait."

We didn't wait long for the ride it was over and we left the festival after that.

He wheeled me in a field of grass so tall the night sky for me was so wonderful in Smallville.

"Where are you taking me." I looked up at him with a smile on my face I felt like I had never smiled in years.

"It's a private place no one goes there except me, The barn hasn't been used since I was small." Clark said. He sounded like he was in a place far away.

As we travel through greenery the warm air of fall felt nice on my skin.

We make out of the field into the dirt road I am enjoying this just me and Clark we are alone, No titans no justice league no missions just us navigating the dirt road and farm land of Smallville.

And we are free.

And that's a turn on in itself and I've always wanted this type of connection with him.

All I have is this night I want to remember this for the rest of my life.

We end up getting closer to this rickety barn rusty and old it looked like a pill of wood.

"Here we are." Clark said. Sounding happy like this piece of shit is the best thing in the world to him and I think it was.

I didn't say anything but let him roll me into this old barn.

"I bet you have A lot of memories here... but um Clark why did you bring me here." Clark wandered off looking around the barn. "I wanted to take you here so my parents won't here us."

My face went hot Clark's warm deep voice the way he said it as he was looking around and not looking at me while he said it.

I made no move to follow him I planted right there.

As I realise what's going to happen.

We haven't done anything yet and I was excited.

"You're parents.... you keep looking around, What are you looking for." I began to wheel myself to where he is.

"I am looking for a spot so it will be easier for you to... relax and I just found it." Clark floated to a pile of hay and sat down on a square stacked hay.

I wheeled in front of him. "I think this is ok here.." Clark said. It's a wave of awkwardness between us the silence was too obvious.

"Well.. we don't have to rush anything so we could just stay quiet." I smiled at that. We came all this way just to stay in silence it was crazy and odd I am nervous.

Me being alone with him like this is something I never experienced before.

There is no narrative between the both of us I felt no pressure in rushing anything but I felt the need to be close to him.

"I care about you a lot Dick... no matter what happens here we can't unchange it I don't mind if we just stay like this for the whole night or we..." I drifted off in my sentence.

Dick smiled at me which I liked he is starting to be himself slowly and opening up towards me.

"I want more tonight...." He reached out and took my hand it felt cold in mine. "Are you cold Dick." He shook his head. "No I am fine Clark."

I got up and sat him beside me Dick moved closer to me his heart beat racing.

"I am not a virgin Clark if that's what you're wondering." Dick is being honest which I liked.

"Ok..... I have been with both sexes." I was always honest about my sexual experiences with my partners.

"Me too is there something that you prefer."

"I want you to feel good..."

Dick bit his lip it was sexy and forbidding all at the same time. "How good do you want me to feel Clark." Dick seems to play the fool in the most seductive way.

"I...I .. I want you to make me feel good and I want in return to make you feel good." I knew I was blushing when I said that but I didn't shy away from him I looked at him right in the eyes.

"But you still didn't explain how good."

".....I want to make you come."

"Where." I felt being pulled in by this.

"All over me." I heard myself saying I said it out loud I heard Dick say dirty things to me before but this is different when he's in front of me.

"God yes." Dick squeezed and reached down his cock.

I looked up at him and Dick's cheeks flushed and a rosy colour appeared nicely.

Dick continued palming himself, His head resting on my shoulder. "Is that how you want me to ruin you."

"Yes." Dick said. I Watched him in wonder as he touched himself.

"I am already ruined by you I can't shake you off... I've always thought of you while I...I am alone." Dick handled himself slow and clumsy.

All I did is watch.

"Do you like to watch Clark."

"Sometimes."

"God I would love to watch you touch yourself." Dick said. In wonderment pawing himself rubbing his face on my arm trying to silence small moans.

"Let it out I want to hear you." I said. I sounded so perverse I didn't recognise my own voice.

"Yeah fuck."

" Language you've got a dirty mouth don't you."

"Yes."

"I wonder what changed you"

"You."

".....I ruined you didn't I."

"Yes." Dick stroked faster.

"Made a mess of you."

"Yes." Dick moaned stroke yet never taking his cock out.

"Are you going to make a mess for me Dick." Dick moans are sinful I felt the need to push him more over the edge.

"Yes uncle Clark." My ears sizzled as I heard him use that it's a taboo to hear him say it in this way. "Uncle.. I haven't heard that in a long time." I put my arm around his shoulder.

"God I want you inside of me." Hearing him say this made me feel like I couldn't... hold back.

"Dick you're still injured let's hold off." Without thinking Dick maneuver onto my lap.

"God you're big." Dick as he moved around suggestively on my cock.

"Dick...." I hissed at him.

"Fuck yes .... I waited for this for so long." Dick heated plea made me want to cum in my pants.

Dick grinds himself on my dick and it comes alive and seeks for release.

"God this feels like a dream I just don't want this to end." I suddenly hear music. "Shit not now." Dick swore.

I rocked my hips and held either side of his hips as I humped into him.

"I can't.. I can't I am gonna cum." And the music still sang louder.

Dick shudders quietly covering his mouth in his hand muffling his cries of ecstacy.

I promised him that I would give him what he wanted another time and I came.

"Picked it up." I told him.

"No... I can't talk to him right now." Dick panted.

"He will get suspicious." As Dick is boneless on top of me he covered his face over his well sculpted arms. "He's always been that way and besides I can't talk to him after we just..."

"Then I will talk to him."

"No way Clark."

Dick's cell is going crazy as Bruce is on the other end.

The following day Ma and Pa had to go run errands in town so it's just me and Dick alone at home.

It was morning Dick helped me the best he could with the chores around the farm.

As we finished we went inside. "I need to get cleaned up." Dick said. I carried him upstairs and in the washroom.

"Let me wash your face and take off your shirt." I told him he looked up at me with blue eyes studying me.

But he did what I asked we stayed in silence as I took care of him.

We finished and I carried him as I was about to go down the stairs he stopped me. "Let's go to the bedroom." I hesitated at the step turned around and took him to the bedroom.

We entered my old room and I put him on the bed. "Fuck me." Dick said simply looking up at me.

I looked down at him the only thought I had was not here.

It wasn't safe for us here.

"Not here."

"Then,, we..we could go some place else."

"Metropolis then."

"No. Too far away.. how about we leave for awhile and go some place for a short while."

I sighed thinking where we should go.

"Huh ok... lay down on top of me." I said. Making quick motion laying on the small old bed.

"Oh great." Dick's happiness shined like a ray of sunlight climbing on top of me he wore his happiness in his demeanor.

Dick pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor I helped him with his pants.

I started to take off my clothes as well as Dick watched me only a mixture of lust and something else was in his eyes, Was it worship I couldn't tell I think it's not only worship I only ignored before hand it's love.

And because of the age difference I swept it under the rug like I did everything else regarding Dick in the past.

I have to face it now though.

As I stripped off my clothes Dick never took his eyes off of me.

"You're like a god from another planet I've only dreamed of being here now with you." Dick said basically salivating on me I let him.

"Dick I always thought you were gorgeous I couldn't admit to anyone only you and I know how I feel." He's gorgeous too many eyes are on us he is so young and I am well...

"I don't want you to wear a condom.. I want to feel all there is to know about you Clark." Dick for his age is dangerous and I am the sucker to go for it.

"Oh.. ok." I started to float us up off the bed Dick yelped not expecting my action.

"Clark ha ha." Dick laugh has always got me in the right spot inside of me.

"Your laugh drives me crazy I am glad you're laughing more now." I stroked his face and then his chest abs and thighs.

Dick sucked in air as I did that. " Hmm." He shudder. "Fuck yes." Dick lull his back his adam apple exposed I lightly touched it and Dick made a piercing sound that was so sinful.

"Is that a spot." I asked and continued touching his adams apple. "Yes it is." I floated us down and I kissed him on his throat sucking and teasing the adams apple.

I attacked there and all I could remember is I float us back down on the bed.

I couldn't control myself so I all these noise came out of my mouth as Clark found my sweet spot.

My throat is so sensitive Clark kissing me there is heaven.

"Clark..." I hissed his name like a swear word.

He hummed in response his strong powerful mouth and tongue playing with my adams apple.

I started to position myself on his cock to descend on it.

He stopped playing with my throat as I lower my entrance on his member.

Clark is so incredibly big I hesitated I've never been with anyone this big.

"Go on Dick take it." I breathed in so much air I tried muffling my any sound.

And slowly going down his cock taking him in as I tense up around his cock.

"God yes Dick keep going." I finally let myself take Clark's cock completely in me, And I felt a bit overwhelmed.

"If I could stay like this in you forever I would but I can't please move Dick." Clark's warm deep voice pulled me out of my overwhelmedness.

I started slow and rusty on Clark's cock I was a virgin all over again, Just for the size of it as if I never took a dick in my life.

My cast feet hung from either side of him shifted on him trying to make myself more comfortable.

So Clark started to move and I was left with a shock wave inside of his massive size. "....I see I have to make matters into my own hands here." He thrust into me slow and deliberate so that I could get used to his size.

I panted in each thrust he took I wasn't quiet about it each time he invaded inside me I couldn't hold back my voice.

Clark hit a spot inside of me and I felt a pleasure there it felt good all of a sudden.

"Better." Clark said he is sitting up on the bed I am shifting underneath him. "Yeah better oh my god." I moved on top of him getting the best feeling out of this.

I wanted to be fucked by him and I got exactly what I asked for.

Clark moved faster and more desperate but not in a hurrying type of way he wanted more in each thrust as if he wanted to be in me more feel more and each time he thrust I felt like I am filled up with it.

But I couldn't stay like this I knew I would cum soon.

I started to sweat already I didn't even move as much as I did. "Dick we waited so long for this and I could feel myself not lasting we just started." Clark said. Stroking my black locks with his large thick hands pulling tugging at it lightly.

"Then let's cum together." As Clark moved inside me hitting my prostate.

"Too soon." Clark smiled as he said that and I exploded without warning.

We laid there it felt like an hour of just us staying in silence enjoying each others company.

Neither one of us are sleeping we are gazing at each other, As if time stopped and we had all the time in the world but we know that wasn't true.

We had to get up eventually.

"I feel like we should have done this sooner." I say to Clark who is stroking my arm softly his large hands pressing lightly.

"You mean sleeping with each other....if I say yes then that would mean a whole lot of things that would be wrong and I don't want to bring logic here." Clark for the first time I could see that he is letting himself go.

With me.

"I feel like this was in the way of all of this tension it was all in here." I guided Clark's hand and stroked my chest over my heart.

My heart beat so loud in my chest you didn't need super hearing to hear it.

"It took time but you're this healed us now I didn't want to hurt you, You are just so young you still are but I can't.... I can't stop it's like you unravel me and I can't go back to how things were." Clark confesses his blue eyes gazed at me I could see the galaxy in them I have know idea why I thought about that at this moment but I did.

"I loved you for so long I felt hurt when you.. you rejected me all I could do is stay away." I told him.

"What are we going to do when you have to go back to your life in Gotham and I have to go back to Metropolis and live that life, We have to separate and begin again like I have to restart all over again after this." Clark opened something I wasn't ready to even face right now.

"I don't know Clark we live in two cities and two separate lives I want to put it together with you. It's hard because of him... we could try to make this work without hurting anyone." I said in truth I know this would go bad but if we stick to our guns it will be ok only if we stick together.

"You're his best friend he will forgive you."

"You're his son he will only try to protect you...from me."

"I don't need his protection from Superman."

"That's not how he will see it."

"I am not a child anymore you know first hand."

"I know. Bruce won't see it that way."

"I can't help how I feel about you he knows I have a crush on you did you know that." I knew Bruce knew about my crush on him since I was a young boy he always knew, He never ventured or lectured me about it just pushed to the side never making it out the day of light.

Giving side long looks in the corner of his eye every time I was to happy and eager to see Clark.

He never made any comments on it but it was there it was always there.

Even if he hated it.

"I didn't know that he never gave me any sign nor told me about it. I guess it wasn't really in his list of things to do." Clark said watching me rubbing my back in small circles.

"I loved you far too long for him not to see it." I couldn't hold back it felt good to just lay here and tell Clark all of this.

"We should get dressed I don't know what time ma and pa said they would come back." Clark started to get dressed as I followed suit.

We go down stairs and go into the kitchen fully dressed now I find the bag of grocery on the kitchen table.

The back door opens as I see Mrs. Kent back turned standing on the porch hands in her hair.

She turns slowly to us her face in a grim expression looking at me my heart beats fast.

I don't like this.

"Both of you out here right now." Mrs. Kent voice sounded shaky and unhappiness replaced from her usual kind and understanding personality.

The woman standing on the porch is upset.

She knows.

Fuck.

Clark wheel me out of the farm house I don't know what to do at this point either run or just hide.

"Boys I heard everything and you're lucky it was just me your father didn't get here yet, He would have a heart attack just by hearing the pair of you." Martha's voice rose in anger at the end.

Clark didn't shy away from me or move away from me he got closer to me.

"Do you want us to leave I'll go back to Metropolis." Wow Clark didn't feel emotional or nervous just seemed so ready for anything Martha is confronting us and Clark didn't deny...us.

"You're not going anywhere you both will stay here where I could see you."Martha put her hands on her hips shaking her head.

"How long."Martha asked as she couldn't believe what she was asking. "Not long only a few months." Clark looked at me as he said that my heart skipped a beat as he gazed at me.

Martha watched us a look of sadness etched on her face as she observed us. "....This is insane I can't believe this." Martha ran a hand through her hair.

"It's not insane my feelings aren't insane I feel like this is right for me Dick feels right for me." Clark says his voice is calm and cool not getting emotional at all.

But Martha on the other hand was upset and angry with a mixture of worry and disappointment, Me being with Clark caused all this commotion in this little farm house.

"Then let me go back to Gotham." I said. For the first time I spoke since Martha discovered us.

"You're not going anywhere." Clark yanked my hand anger was shown for the first time since we confronted Martha. "No you stay here with me or we leave."

Martha watched us I was scared to look at her I never thought I would cause this type of ruckus.

"If you leave he will ask and get suspicious."

"Oh Clark this is going to be a nightmare you can't explain this to Bruce if he ever finds out." Martha's voice kept getting higher in volume.

"I.. I am ashamed you found out the way you did." Clark let go of my hand and approached Martha but a voice out of nowhere stopped him.

"Ashamed of what son." Jonathan appeared out of nowhere at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Jonathan we were just talking about how Dick wanted to leave early to go back to Gotham." Jonathan grimaced looking at Martha he knew she is lying to him.

"No you aren't." Jonathan looked between me and Clark but no anger or concern etched on his face, He finally looked at me. "Well boys you're gonna tell me why it's so tense here." Jonathan had no chills about his wife freaking out.

So I decided to speak up. "Mrs. Kent caught us." I said in a shaky voice. Yes I felt so nervous I was confronting just the tip of the ice berg of what me and Clark would face, So if I seem scared to tell Mr. Kent about she heard are voice in passion....then this is another step of the shit show.

"Caught you doing what." Jonathan wanted me to spill it out to confirm it. This was so not the shit show I wanted to go through with Mr. and Mrs Kent but what could I do.

"She heard us having sex." Clark answered for me gracefully. saying that to your father I don't know how graceful you could sound but Clark had his own way of doing it.

Jonathan nodded his head as if he understood what just transpired here before he showed up, And not seem angry Clark who admitted to everything without hesitation.

"Jonathan you can't be this calm are boy is with the Wayne boy, I feel like a fool a few years ago you talked about someone you worked with is it him." Martha pointed at me shaking hands as realisation as I knew nothing about.

"Yes it's Dick."

"Wow... you really took me for-"

"Martha. Hang on." She turned her back to us arms crossed not liking her interruption from Jonathan.

"So is he the one then." Jonathan said. Wanting reason to come to this. "Yes Dick is the one I want." Clark said getting closer to me.

I couldn't say anything I feel so uncomfortable.

"Then let's go inside and talk about this." Jonathan said. This is not what I expected coming from him but it's the offer I took.

We sat in the living room it is a grim evening.

All though we all had hot chocolate and a plate of chocolate chip marshmallow caramel cookies sat on the coffee table.

It felt cold here the warmth of the Kent's is not present here right now, Only the hot chocolate in my hand gave me warmth.

"He's so young." Martha sat across from us beside her husband her tone stern.

"I get that but-"

"There are no but Clark Joseph Kent. this is nothing to be shrugging your shoulders at." Martha is angry and I believe she is more angry that she found out the way she did and there's nothing I could do about that.

"I am not shrugging my shoulder at this I had a far too long time to think about this for me to just take this lightly." Clark answer Martha I wish she didn't find out the way she did.

Jonathan looked between me and Clark thinking he wasn't upset like Martha is but very much in his own thoughts, Not breaking any uproar Martha and Clark has but would step in if it got to messy.

I made this mess for Clark.

I didn't understand what I was doing my body started to wheel myself out of the living room but was stopped by a gentle masculine voice.

"Where are you going son." Jonathan's voice sounds so much like a father that I wish I could have if Bruce was more like Bruce and not the bat.

I stopped. "I failed Clark and made a mess out of everything here I can't face you guys it's best if I go home." I said. not turning around and facing them.

"I won't let you be ashamed about what you and my boy have for each other." Jonathan voice trying to wheel me back into the living room.

"I am not ashamed." I wasn't I just didn't want them to pick each other apart for this.

"Then get back here and stand by my boy." Jonathan wasn't messing around with me he wanted to see if I could take the heat for Clark.

I came slowly back to the living room Clark making eye contact with me the whole time.

I wheeled next to Clark again.

Jonathan watches us I knew I would dwarf beside Clark, He was bigger and he was taller and muscle wise Clark smoked me, But what we lack in size is that we are very simulare in look's jet black hair blue eyes we could pass as family in a way I am family I just wish they still think of me in that way.

Ma and pa went upstairs after I confessed about me and Dick.

We stayed there not say anything to each other but getting over the shock of having this type of conversation with my parents.

Until I broke the silence. "Let's go to the basement." I held out my hand to Dick as I got up off the sofa and waited for him come with.

"Fine." Dick took my hand and went and I picked him up and descended down the steps of the basement.

We quietly went down making sure our voices wouldn't be heard from ma and pa. "Clark do you....do you think they will tell Bruce about us." Dick looking in the dark for the switches.

Finding the light switches the basement is semi furnished with a double size bed in the far corner.

"No I don't think they will tell Bruce.....where were you going to run off to Dick earlier."

Hesitated before he answered. "I need to take off because my head is spinning." He said looking down.

"Were you going to run back to Gotham leaving me here with my parents to fend for myself, I will not fault you for it but I wouldn't want to go to him and leave me here." I hugged him holding him in my arms and feeling him.

I snuggled him breathing in Dick's scent he smelled like marshmallow autumn leaves I ran my hand on his ass.

Dick sighed in my embrace.

"Wouldn't have run I just needed air to breathe it got real in here." Dick answered me. I pawed at him I got greedy with my touch.

"Ok I believe you." I massaged his ass. "I can't stop Dick ... all I want is to do this to you if you have left and go to him." I couldn't help how i was feeling.

I haven't felt like this for a long time I am not sure if it's either jealousy or just the thought of being alone without him, And going to Bruce going to Gotham made me feel crazy and I haven't felt like this ever this is the first time I felt this type of emotion towards anyone.

"Clark." Dick gasped as I pulled his pants quickly in one swoop of my powers and his jeans as I carried him to the bed.

I made him lay on his stomach exposing his ass bare I kneel down on my knees touching it kneading it gently.

I looked up the stairs and I forgot to close the door of the basement.

"Don't go anywhere." Dick turned to look at my retreating back going towards the steps.

I used my super hearing to hear if my folks came down or listened and I could hear them having a tense conversation in the bedroom about me and Dick.

I went down the steps where Dick is and went on my knees once more touching his ass.

Feeling his nice firm round full ass his heart beat racing.

I lowered and nozzled my face on it biting it lightly Dick yelped. "shh we can't let them know what we are up to." I lifted my head as he made little whimpers.

"I am still sensitive down there Clark." Dick said nervous.

"There's no need to be nervous Dick." I told him soothing him wanting him to calm down a bit.

I put my face in between his cheeks as I slowly started to liking out finding Dick's entrance.

"Hmm... Cl..ark.." Gripping the sheets Dick words choked out my name.

That made me so hard as Dick choked out my name I squeezed myself as I teased his ass with my tongue.

"Fuck I...yes it feels good." Dick pants out.

My tongue explores him knowing I pushed the right button sending Dick soaring.

"Shh please my little acrobat keep your voice down." Dick laughed in vain as he muffled any sounds coming out of his mouth by covering his mouth.

I lifted my head to quiet him down again eating him out pulling out and stroking my cock.

"God I....yes." Dick hushed his voice.

"You brought me all the way here just to taste me." I hummed in agreement as I stroke myself and nip and licked Dick's hole.

"I bet you didn't even care if you got caught by your parents like this, seeing you like this on your knees eating out my ass."

I kept stroking and licking like a starved man.

His words hit me Dick's voice and words pulling me in turning me on.

"I can't hold myself anymore I need to cum." Dick whispers he sounded like a dark angle.

I pre-cum spilling spurts all over the floor I am so close.

"God..." Dick came shivering and covering his mouth failing in vain not letting anymore filth come out of his mouth.

I came just hearing him cum listening to him dirty talk.

I lay there kneeling. "I hope they didn't hear us this time."

Martha drove me to town as I wanted to get things before I go back to Gotham my vacation at the Kent's was over I would go back this afternoon to Gotham.

Tense and many conversations with them left me a bit at odds with them but Clark and I grew closer and closer as the two weeks rolled by.

His parents accepted us together we would hold hands but it didn't mean that the conversation wasn't tense more so on Martha side of things.

"You have to understand something Clark is the only one I have in this whole entire world, I don't want him getting hurt he will go to Metropolis and you will go back to Gotham and now what." Martha parked the truck in front of the local supermarket.

"I will go back to Gotham Mrs. Kent and deal with my life like I always have and so will he." I told her simply I did love her I understood she didn't want me to hurt Clark I could never do that.

"Yes but my boy....and your...ok I will let it be just be safe and I wait here for you." Martha fixed her hair in the rear view mirror. I left the truck.

I know I would part Smallville in the most bombshell note.

Knowing their boy is dealing with Bruce's ward was a lot to unpack.

As Dick and ma left for town I was alone with pa sweeping up the leaves that had fallen endlessly on the ground.

"May I give some piece of advice." Pa says all of a sudden.

As I continued to sweep up the leaves kinda knowing where he is going with this.

"If Wayne wants to take you down because of this you come straight here." I looked up at him knowing he is dead serious.

"Pa." I whisper and I stop sweeping.

"I mean it I will leave it like that and put it there for you. Don't let that boy get hurt by this all right I will leave it here." Pa said. as he walked away the autumn sun healing me from pa's open closed statement.

We all have an earpiece that is still on. Our mission is over we fought what I could only assume is Kraken, I thought a giant octopus was a myth and it was in Italy causing mayhem.

Titans and the league team up once more for this mission.

We all gathered at the watchtower as everyone still was on mission mode even when the mission was over and done with.

My eyes searching the room for Clark it didn't take long for me to find him.

My earpiece buzzed frantic for no reason.

I ignored it and got closer to Clark not really going into their circle of members talking but getting close outside of his circle.

He noticed me. His eyes gazed at me briefly something in his blue eyes told me a to wait for him.

Not now but soon his gaze told me.

The cracking in my ear got louder and I heard a voice in my ear. {Come on spooky.} I heard a male voice all but purred out into my ear.

He sounded sultry.

Clark snapped his attention by not breaking eye contact with me like a light switch went on.

{Not here.} I couldn't and never not know Batman's dark deep voice entered my earpiece I looked around and everyone was holding there earpiece as if all of a sudden they felt the crackle and chopped up voices in there earpiece as well.

{God I missed you.} I breathed in sharply as I see people blushed and giggle a bit.

{I missed you too.} Clark and I went beside each other I looked at him and a faint blush creeped up on his handsome face.

{All I keep thinking about is you.} Hal said.

I can't believe what I was hearing in my earpiece I never thought this was going on and I would never have known if it wasn't for this incident of malfunction.

Clark put a large hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

{Just give me time and I will see you soon spooky.} I breathed sharply again.

Clark never let go of my shoulder and shook me a little trying to reach out to me.

Bruce never told me about this and to find out this way in front of everyone he got to get to have this and no one will judge him or Hal.

Even now they will judge him but it will be brief.

What if it is me and Clark had been outted this way would everyone blush or would they blame him and outcast us.

Would they blush like Clark is blushing right now or would they be in disbelief and be angry.

I walked away from Clark's warm hand he called out to me pushing past other members.

I am jealous because I am in love with Clark and I knew they would all react differently if it was me and him.

End of part 3 next is part 4

Thank you for reading

#superman #nightwing #dick grayson #clark kent #nightwing x superman parings #clark x dick #fandom #fanfic stuff #fanfic smut #fanfiction #my fanfic writing #my writing #robin x superman fanfiction #robin x superman #superman x robin #superman x nightwing #dick x clark #rare paring

[thehoweswedding]

Chloe's Vows

Although we can't see you we know you are here Smiling down, watching over us As we say "I Do" Forever in our hearts,  Forever in our lives,  And so we say our vows In loving memory of you.

Jayden,

When we first started talking on plenty of fish I decided I wanted to be honest with you about my life, my health and my living situation. I wanted someone who knew all of me, the good and the bad. I let you know that life with me would mean now doubt include trips to the hospital, specialist appointments and even possible surgeries. It would mean days when I am to sick to get out of bed or days when I simply just couldn’t deal with the world. I said to you that if that was something you could weren’t ok with then I would understand, and honestly I just expected you to run for the hills but instead you surprised me and just seemed to take it all in your stride. 

We talked on the phone for over 10 hours that very first day and about the same the next day too. We decided to meet up and go on a date with no expectations but rather just to get to know each other, we had nothing to lose. We arranged to have some fish and chips on the beach in Rockingham. Saturday afternoon rolled around you turned up at my house in your jackaroo, still dressed in your white paint gear after doing a cashie. Something about you made me feel at ease and comfortable. Which was unusual for me. We hugged, hopped in the car and off we drove. I’m pretty sure by the time we made it to your house I was as high as a kite from the metho and paint in the back of the 4by. You of coarse were used to it but boy oh boy I was not maybe that was your plan all along hahaha!

We never made it to the beach that afternoon but instead we talked, watched mrs. browns boys, ate dinner and then watched some movies. It was a good time in fact such a good time I didn’t go home for a week. Dad phoned me the next day and asked how the date went. I think he was concerned I might have been made into a lamp shade or something but when I said I’m still on the date he said oh… so you’re having a good time then? I was happy, happier than I had felt in a long time. 

During that first week together I ended up in Rockingham hospital twice on a drip with vertigo. You just took it all in your stride once again and I asked if you were still prepared for life to be unpredictable with me and you still chose to stay. We have been together ever since. Our lives just seamlessly integrated. We went back and forth between houses until we were able to get a house of our own and the rest is history!

Jayden I want you to know that you are my rock, you are the ball to my chain (and by that I mean you keep me grounded), you know how to take care of me, you love me when I feel unlovable, you help me when I can’t help myself. You laugh at my terrible jokes, I laugh at you laughing and then we laugh so hard we can’t breathe and have tears in our eyes. You are my biggest support, the air that I breathe and the love of my life. Not to mention the best cat dad to Cookie and Beanie and the best bun dad to Lola when she was still with us. With you I am complete. You protect me when I am vulnerable. You are more than I could have ever imagined and more than I could have ever asked for. You have seen me at my best and also at my very worst and I know I am hard to live with some days and maybe a little difficult to love but everyday you wake up and you choose me. I am so lucky to have you as my other half and am so proud to now call you my husband. 

I feel extremely blessed to have amazing in-laws, your whole family have made me feel so accepted and loved. Both set of your parents have done a wonderful job raising you and shaping you into the man you are today. For that I am eternally grateful.

I promise to love you for all the days of my life, to always be your biggest fan and your biggest support, to take care of you and to protect you. I cannot guarantee you sunshine but i can promise to stand beside you no matter how hard it rains…I am so excited to see what our future holds. I look forward to adding to our family, I think you will be an amazing father. I’m so incredibly proud of us and all that we have become together. I love you with all of my heart and I am so excited to finally be your wife! 

#TheHowesWedding2023 #Mr&MrsHowes #MyVows #Chloe'sVows

[hope444me]

Birthday, by Andrea Gibson

For Jenn

At 12 years old I started bleeding with the moon

and beating up boys who dreamed of becoming astronauts.

I fought with my knuckles white as stars,

and left bruises the shape of Salem.

There are things we know by heart,

and things we don't.

At 13 my friend Jen tried to teach me how to blow rings of smoke.

I'd watch the nicotine rising from her lips like halos,

but I could never make dying beautiful.

The sky didn't fill with colors the night I convinced myself

veins are kite strings you can only cut free.

I suppose I love this life,

in spite of my clenched fist.

I open my palm and my lifelines look like branches from an Aspen tree,

and there are songbirds perched on the tips of my fingers,

and I wonder if Beethoven held his breath

the first time his fingers touched the keys

the same way a soldier holds his breath

the first time his finger clicks the trigger.

We all have different reasons for forgetting to breathe.

But my lungs remember

the day my mother took my hand and placed it on her belly

and told me the symphony beneath was my baby sister's heartbeat.

And I knew life would tremble

like the first tear on a prison guard's hardened cheek,

like a prayer on a dying man's lips,

like a vet holding a full bottle of whisky like an empty gun in a war zone…

just take me just take me

Sometimes the scales themselves weigh far too much,

the heaviness of forever balancing blue sky with red blood.

We were all born on days when too many people died in terrible ways,

but you still have to call it a birthday.

You still have to fall for the prettiest girl on the playground at recess

and hope she knows you can hit a baseball

further than any boy in the whole third grade

and I've been running for home

through the windpipe of a man who sings

while his hands playing washboard with a spoon

on a street corner in New Orleans

where every boarded up window is still painted with the words

We're Coming Back

like a promise to the ocean

that we will always keep moving towards the music,

the way Basquait slept in a cardboard box to be closer to the rain.

Beauty, catch me on your tongue.

Thunder, clap us open.

The pupils in our eyes were not born to hide beneath their desks.

Tonight lay us down to rest in the Arizona desert,

then wake us washing the feet of pregnant women

who climbed across the border with their bellies aimed towards the sun.

I know a thousand things louder than a soldier's gun.

I know the heartbeat of his mother.

Don't cover your ears, Love.

Don't cover your ears, Life.

There is a boy writing poems in Central Park

and as he writes he moves

and his bones become the bars of Mandela's jail cell stretching apart,

and there are men playing chess in the December cold

who can't tell if the breath rising from the board

is their opponents or their own,

and there's a woman on the stairwell of the subway

swearing she can hear Niagara Falls from her rooftop in Brooklyn,

and I'm remembering how Niagara Falls is a city overrun

with strip malls and traffic and vendors

and one incredibly brave river that makes it all worth it.

Ya'll, I know this world is far from perfect.

I am not the type to mistake a streetlight for the moon.

I know our wounds are deep as the Atlantic.

But every ocean has a shoreline

and every shoreline has a tide

that is constantly returning

to wake the songbirds in our hands,

to wake the music in our bones,

to place one fearless kiss on the mouth of that brave river

that has to run through the center of our hearts

to find its way home.

[sadiehaleheart]

In the voice of every queer DC fan: "UGH, WHY."

#women of dc comics #harley quinn #pamela isley #we all knew kite man was terrible #right??? #the worst

[telehxhtrash]

A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.

Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua's possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a sort of "masterpost" with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.

I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn't about romance and that Togashi isn't interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that's been going on the further Gon and Killua's relationship progresses, I think it's incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.

This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!

Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that "maybe this is just something the anime made gayer" : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi's part.

I'd also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc.... Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I'm sure he 100% knows that he's writing it, and it can't be seen as unintentional.

I'll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.

Well, let's get into it!

EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy... thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !

GREED ISLAND ARC

Greed Island is to me the arc that lays down the nature of Killua and Gon's relationship. It's during this arc that we get to see a bit more of what Killua thinks, how he's lucky to have met Gon and that he feels really grateful. Gon’s behavior in this arc is also very affectionate, with him always reassuring Killua about his place next to him. While the scene where Killua thinks "You've got it backwards, Gon, I'm the one that's glad I met you." can't be considered as subtext, I think it's something that lets the reader know a bit more about how Killua feels towards Gon. 

But other than this scene, which can clearly be dismissed as platonic, there are 2 more moments in the Greed Island arc that are layered in subtext.

• The Rainbow Diamond (chapter 151)

During their time in Dorias, Killua uses Risky Dice to gain cards from the slot machines. The first card that Killua gains is called "Rainbow Diamond", the description of the card being "A diamond that shines in a rainbow of colors. Propose with this diamond and she is guaranteed to say "yes"". 

There are 3 different things we can take from this panel. First, the card is a marriage proposal card, so it's obviously romantic in nature. Second, the object is a RAINBOW diamond. And third, Killua, wanting to keep the card safe, gifts it to Gon.

In short, Togashi sat down at his desk, decided to draw Killua winning a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL CARD (it could've been any card, but Togashi CHOSE to make Killua win a marriage proposal card) that has a RAINBOW diamond on it and made Killua gift it to Gon. 

While I personally don't think that subtext can be used to 100% ascert that Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, I think it's a funny little touch from Togashi, and I'm even gonna say a sort of hint towards how Killua's feelings for Gon are going to evolve in this arc and the next.

• “It has to be Killua” (chapter 166)

Now this is a scene that I've never seen anyone talk about, at least on Tumblr, but when I read a bit of analysis on it I was 100% convinced this was intentional subtext. I'm basically quoting here what this article explains, so if you want more detail, I recommend reading it.

As you probably recall, during their deadly dodgeball game against Razor, Killua decides to sacrifice his hands to ensure that Gon could use all his strength. When confronted about it, Killua insists that it's nothing, and Gon shocks him by saying that he knew all along that he was hurting himself for his sake. 

Gon then says that it can only be Killua holding the ball, and that it has to be Killua, resulting in Killua being absolutely awestruck and embarassed. I'm also going to talk about the anime adaptation for this one, because it's perfectly executed and translates extremely well the nuance that the second sentence bears. If you want to rewatch it, this scene happens in episode 70. It's worth noting that in the anime, we see Killua not reacting to Gon's first sentence, but losing his composure entirely when Gon says the second sentence. But why ?

The reason was lost in translation. His exact words are "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to. Killua ja nakya dame nan da.". Both sentences basically say the same thing : It has to be Killua holding the ball. That second sentence can be translated literally as "If it's not Killua, that won't do." However, the second sentence, in a different context, can also be used to say a totally different thing. 

While it's certain that Gon used this sentence in the context of the dodgeball match, the sentence "~ja nakya dame nan da" also serves as a confession of one's feelings in japanese. It's basically the equivalent to "you're the one for me". When you google the sentence, it turns up romantic songs, forum posts asking what it would translate to in English and posts on how to confess to someone. 

The sentence basically drowns in romantic subtext. As mentioned before, Killua has no reaction to the first sentence "Booru wa Killua ga motte-kurenai to.", but loses his composure at the second one, and I think that was a very deliberate thing Togashi wanted to convey : this sentence has an additional layer, and clearly Killua is taking it to heart.

I will come back to this specific subtext in a bit, because we can parallel it with another subtext-y situation, so please keep it in mind for now.

CHIMERA ANT ARC

Now onto the sad gay arc! This arc is so RIDDLED in subtext and parallels that it's making me lose my mind.

• Gon, you are light. (chapter 199)

This scene is just... So romantic in nature. I’m not too objective on this, but I really do believe that this moment is the exact moment Killua fell in love with Gon and started to realize he felt a bit more than friendship towards him. It’s Killua respecting Gon for who he is, realizing that he’s light and he’s always been, he’s the one who saved him and who’s always been so bright and optimistic and always makes the best out of any situation. In this scene, Killua lets himself drown in Gon’s light, allows himself to feel this “wow” moment of pure admiration and love, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

It's extremely important to take the context of this scene into account. What happened is that Killua, who has been struggling mentally for the entire series with the fact that he's always running away, ran away once more, leaving Kite to die with Pitou. This ENTIRE chapter is literally adults absolutely DESTROYING Killua, first Kite's troupe bashing him for leaving Kite behind, and then Netero, Morel and Knov coming in like icing on the cake telling Killua that "After all, he's just a kid", and that he should hurry up to his mommy. 

Killua is beating himself up for running away again, got destroyed by Kite's team and 3 extremely strong pro hunters. His morale is down in the drains right now. He expects Gon to be mad at him for betraying Kite, for running away once again, for leaving Kite to die alone and ripping Gon away from Kite : he expects that he'll lose Gon for his cowardice.

HOWEVER, the first thing that Gon says to Killua after having been passed out for god knows how many hours is "Thank you". 

Gon woke up and instantly eased up all of Killua's fears : he wasn't a loser for running away, and Gon was actually thankful for him. Gon, at this moment, was the only one that showed kindness, understanding and gratefulness towards Killua. Gon even goes so far as saying that he knows that Kite isn't dead, and that they have to help him. At this instant, Gon is truly Killua's saving grace. He's the one that trusts him with his entire heart, and believes in his choices when even he can't believe in himself. Gon is truly Killua's light at this precise moment, because he was the only one who supported him, trusted him and reassured him in this awful situation.

How can someone shine so bright in such a terrible situation ? How can someone be so positive that nothing bad will happen ? 

Gon asserting all of this makes Killua respect him a lot. Keep this word in mind, because it’s going to be important in the next piece of subtext I’m analyzing, because those two scenes canonically follow each other and are basically Togashi highlighting that something special happened when Killua called Gon his light, and that his feelings deepened.

• Introduction to Palm's character (chapter 200)

This piece of subtext is very very easy to miss but it's one of the most important subtext-y scene, because coupled with the “Gon, you are light” scene, it’s very clear that this dialogue is deliberately highlighting Killua’s feelings.

This chapter introduces Palm's character (which, imo, is a character introduced for the sole intent of being a catalyst to Killua's feelings towards Gon, but I'll talk about it in my post talking about the CAA parallels) - edit: i talked about this briefly here.

So, Killua having looked into Gon's eyes for like 10min straight and concluded that Gon was the light of his life a chapter ago, is now chilling with Gon as they meet Palm. 

Palm takes them to a café and STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT harasses them about how much she's in love with Knov. Like when I say harassing, it's literally a whole page of her explaining her feelings towards Knov. 

There are two interesting things that can be drawn from this interaction.

First, it's extremely easy to draw parallels between Palm's situation towards Knov and Killua's situation towards Gon. Palm starts by saying how amazing her master is, that she probably has special feelings for him but the most important thing is to respect the other person. Remember how I talked about how this last scene was Killua having a surge of deep, deep respect for Gon ? Palm makes sure to highlight that special word, that it’s important to respect someone when it comes to love.

She then goes on to say that she hasn't said anything to Knov, and never will. All of this adds nothing to the story, it's empty dialogue, Togashi could've introduced Palm in virtually any other way possible, but he chose to drag her and the gay duo to a café and make her have a monologue about love RIGHT after the extremely emotional panel of Killua declaring that Gon is his light just a chapter ago.

But there's more. Not only does Palm monologue for a while about love, but after finishing her monologue, this happens :

This panel features ONLY Palm and Killua, her looking at him like the psycho she is, and straight up telling him that "love can suddenly spark out of nowhere, don't you think so?". 

What's so interesting about this is the fact that Togashi made the deliberate choice to have Palm say this to Killua and Killua ONLY, which after the gay existential crisis he had last chapter, can very much be applied to his situation. Love DID spark out of nowhere, and Togashi wants you to notice. Togashi could've made Palm say this to herself, with no distinct listener like the last panel, but he made the conscious choice to draw this panel with Palm adressing herself to Killua SPECIFICALLY. 

Those two pieces of subtext, that fit perfectly together, make me believe 100% that Togashi knows what he's doing and he's not unintentionally planting gay subtext in his work. The fact that Togashi sat at his desk, drew Killua calling Gon his light, and then followed this scene with the introduction to a character who picks Killua apart to tell him that "love is something that just happens, don't you think?" is 100% proof that Togashi knows what he's doing.

• Date with Palm (chapters 217 and 218)

I think this situation has many layers, but many people still dismiss it as bro behavior so I'm gonna try my best to counter argue. First of all, and although that's not proof of anything, Killua looks EXTREMELY distressed by the prospect of Gon going on a date with Palm, but that can be counter-argued by saying that Killua is just worried because Palm is completely crazy. 

What I want to talk about is the scene that happens right after, when Gon and Killua go to the gym (because theyre DUDES YEAH WE WORK OUT NO HOMO), and the conversation casually drifts to Killua asking Gon if he's ever been on a date before, valid question considering what just happened previously. There are multiple things here :

1) Killua seems distressed that Gon has been on dates before. While it can be argued that it's a normal reaction because Gon has and he hasn't, I believe that Killua - who is in no way a normal person who would get flustered about "not having been on dates before a certain age" - would not feel uncomfortable that his friend is more experienced than him - especially when literal seconds later, he monologues about how he doesn’t care about dates and just wants to stick with Gon.

2) Gon then proceeds to ask Killua if he's ever been on a date, to which Killua responds :

What I want to highlight is the panel where Killua says "And the truth is, I want to stay by your side... Always...". Basically, what Killua is saying, is that he doesn't care about dates, all he wants to do is be with Gon.

I don't think this can be counter-argued as bro behavior, but with all the subtext I've explained before, this right here is pretty gay. Togashi put this panel deliberately to show that Killua doesn't give a crap about dates when he can stay with Gon, and with the "gon you are light" scene and everything in mind, this is another intentional subtext.

There's also the fact that Killua stalks the date like a jealous girlfriend - but I'm not gonna count that as subtext because it can be argued that he's just worried about Gon because Palm is insane.

• Gon is my best friend ! (chapter 219)

Remember how I told you to keep the "It has to be Killua" subtext in mind because I was gonna come back to it later ? Well.

During Palm's date with Gon, Killua runs into Rammot, who would definitely have ran into Palm and nenless Gon. Killua is forced to confront his worst fear : this is the moment where he knows that if he runs away again, Gon WILL die. Killua is literally overcoming his "programming", the physical representation of years of abuse out of love and care for Gon. He's ripping out the needle from his forehead out of pure, genuine care for Gon, because if he doesn't, then he'll lose him forever. 

Now, what I actually wanna talk about is this panel :

What we see is Killua thinking happy thoughts about all his adventures with Gon because he can't - won't - doesn't want to run away anymore, and all this for his sake. But what I wanna draw attention to is the dodgeball panel that's bigger than all the others, and the only one where you can actually clearly make out what's written : "Killua ja nakya dame nan da". 

Now, isn't that interesting that the panel that takes a bigger place in the whole panel is the one with this particular sentence? Remember what I talked about a bit earlier, about how "~ ja nakya dame nan da" is a sentence with a lot of romantic connotations (would pretty much equal to "you're the one for me" in English). Clearly this particular sentence stuck with Killua. 

I'm not completely objective on this matter since I firmly believe that at this point, Killua has romantic feelings for Gon, but I interpret this as another deliberate thing Togashi did : putting the panel bigger so we can see that it has a particularly significant importance to Killua, and Killua's state of mind right now (not wanting to lose Gon). 

In my opinion, two things happened here: One, Killua remembers this specific interaction because he knows how much Gon trusts him and he doesn't want to betray his trust. But I also firmly believe that Killua remembered this specific interaction because of the romantic connotation the sentence "Killua ja nakya dame nan da" has. Those words clearly shocked him, and I think he remembers them in this life-threatening situation, after the "gon you are light" scene, Palm talking about "love just happens", the "i want to stay with you, always" because he realizes that he wishes Gon would say that sentence in a romantic context, and not in the context of the dodgeball match, thus leading him to surpass himself to prove his love and perhaps live to see the day where Gon could say those words in that romantic context.

Now, of course, all of this is my interpretation, so it's really up to debate, but I really wanna highlight the fact that Togashi deliberately CHOSE to highlight this particular interaction between Gon and Killua, this sentence with romantic subtext, to lead Killua to finally break his chains and be able to be protect Gon fully. It’s also interesting to note that the 2011 anime adaptation also makes it a point to emphasize how deep these words stuck to Killua by making it the last flashback that makes Killua effectively rip out the needle out of his head. 

Also let's quickly mention the irony in the situation here : while Gon is on a romantic date, Killua fights to protect him, overcoming his weakness to prove his love. It’s not Palm who deserves that date, it’s Killua.

• A lovers’ suicide (chapter 286)

Now, onto the most important piece of subtext, that can not be counterargued as platonic in any way, shape or form. During the palace invasion, Killua leaves Gon's side, proceeds to go kick Youpi's butt only to have to fall back because he used up all his electricity nen. When Killua is charging up, he meets with Meleoron, and tells him that once he's done charging, he'll go back to Gon's side. 

They briefly exchange information about the battle, and then Meleoron proceeds to ask Killua what's the plan for him and Gon. That's when Killua explains that "Once Gon is like this, he won't budge an inch. Worst case scenario, it'll be a double suicide.". At worst they both die, cool. They “go down in flames together”. It’s actually much, much more meaningful than that.

The specific word that Killua uses for double suicide is "心中" (shinjuu), which is a heavily romantically connotated word in japanese. Shinjuu, also translated as "lovers’ suicide", is when two people die out of love, by the same method, because there's a belief that this'll allow those two people to spend eternity together. Shinjuu is a major theme of Japanese literature, and it is always used romantically. It's a very uncommon word to use to refer to two people dying together, because of its heavy romantic connotation, and because it always refers to double suicide committed by people bound by love. In literature, it always refers to two lovers, in love. If you want to read more on shinjuu, i suggest this and this, those articles explain its historic roots and the definition, also emphasizing the feeling of "oneness" that characterizes shinjuu. If you’re interested, I also suggest reading the japanese article that defines shinjuu, and hitting the google translate button, it has some pretty interesting sentences like “Shinjuu is traditionally committed by men and women out of mutual love, in the hope that they will be connected in the afterlife because they can't be together in this world.”

So basically, what Killua is saying is that he wants to go back to Gon's side to die with him, committing a "lovers’ suicide" because he doesn't want to leave Gon to die alone, and wants to die with him.

I also want to emphasize how special this word is to Killua, and that he and everyone around him know the special meaning of this word - In chapter 300, Ikalgo literally says "We were... No, KILLUA was ready to commit shinjuu with Gon". Ikalgo is really highlighting the fact that this word holds special meaning, especially to Killua, and that it was HIM who was willing to commit shinjuu by staying with Gon. Ikalgo and company dying with Gon wouldn't be shinjuu, but Killua dying with Gon would be, and Togashi emphasizes this through Ikalgo's thoughts.

This is pretty much the gist of it, but I suggest reading the wonderful post I linked in the references below if you want to know more about this specific subtext.

(edit : i actually wrote a post going a bit more into detail on Killua’s shinjuu wish if you want to read it here ! :3)

• “The one that Gon needs the most is you” (chapter 294)

I will go into this subtext more in details when I write the post about parallels in CAA, but I still want to talk about it briefly here.

Like I said before, to me, Palm was introduced as a catalyst for Killua's feelings towards Gon. Togashi purposefully wrote Palm as having romantic feelings for Gon to foil Killua's feelings for Gon and make him show jealousy towards Palm. 

To Killua, Palm is someone who stole Gon from him, he sees her as a threat because maybe she'll make Gon happier than he does ? (ofc we all know thats not true but Killua is baby) - Basically, Killua thinks Palm might be more important to Gon than Killua is, because he believes they are romantically involved. That's why when he sees her again later on, after Gon rejected his help, leaving Killua helpess as to how to save his dear friend, Killua sees Palm as a saving grace. 

He knows that if Gon sees Palm as a chimera ant, he will spiral down even more, so he tries to reason with her to get her to be gentle to Gon, because if not her, then who could? Palm would clearly be able to comfort Gon, with whom Killua believes is romantically involved with, better than him, right ? If Gon rejected Killua, then clearly Palm could help, since she seems closer to Gon (BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THEYRE DATING), right? 

This confrontation between Palm and Killua closely ressembles a situation like an ex confronting a new girlfriend - and I think this is exactly why Togashi wrote Palm this way. He wanted Killua to confront who he thought was a threat to their relationship, making him believe that this person who's """"dating"""” Gon is more important to him than himself, only to have her openly admit that she means nothing to Gon. The only one Gon needs is Killua.

And that, my friends, coming from someone you believe is romantically involved with your best friend (who you probably have a crush on), someone you're jealous of, the one you thought was the person most important to him, that's a pretty meaningful statement. 

Basically, what's happening, is that Palm reaffirms that Gon holds Killua closer than a potential romantic partner. And that's why Killua is so, so happy to hear that. He was questioning his entire relationship, questioning if Gon even cared about him, because he rejected him a few minutes before, but then his "rival" comes in and reaffirms that even she knows that no one comes close to Killua to Gon.

I also want to mention that this act of pure love (Killua only thinking of saving Gon when in a life threatening situation) is what made Palm come back to her human senses. d'awwwwww

• Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel on lovers who die of Alluka’s requests. (chapter 323)

Now onto the final significant subtext - while I don't particularly think of it as subtext-y, I know a lot of people have so I still want to include it here.

When Illumi explains Alluka's powers to Hisoka, he explains that there are two different types of linked deaths when a request is failed : 1) the person who failed + the person they love the most 2) the person who failed + the people they spent most of their time with. 

When applied to Killua, Hisoka naturally comes to the conclusion that no matter the outcome, Gon would always be the one dying with Killua, because he's spent so much time with him, and because he's the one that Killua loves the most. In the panel where Illumi explains this, we see a romantic, heterosexual couple  demonstrating the effects of not completing one of Alluka's requests, and thus the "most important person dying". 

While not making any true parallels, the fact that Hisoka, and the readers, are drawn to compare a heterosexual, romantic pairing to Killua dying with Gon because he's his "most important person" is an interesting piece of subtext.

_______

I want to finish by talking about Killua's birthday and how significant it is in my opinion. All the main 4 characters have birthdays that fall on specific dates, related to Japanese tradition, and often with events that can be associated to their character. Gon's is 5/5, which is Children's Day. Kurapika's is 4/4, the number 4 being considered an unlucky number, and this being an unlucky day to have a child. Leorio's is 3/3, Hinamatsuri (not really any main parallels here but still). But Killua's birthday is 7/7, and is the Japanese day to celebrate Tanabata. 

If you are not familiar with Tanabata, the story is as follows : Orihime is a princess who works for her father, working hard and well, but she laments the fact that because of her hard work she can't meet someone and fall in love. Her father arranges for her to meet Hikoboshi, allowing Orihime to leave because he expects her to come back to work for him, but the two immediately fall in love and get married, and she never returns. I won't get into the rest of the story as it's this part that interests me the most, but if you want to read more about Killua and Tanabata I suggest reading the post I referenced below.

Does the story of Orihime remind you of anyone ? Killua also works for his father, but laments the fact that he can't go outside and meet someone. His father then lets him go, saying, and i quote: "he will come back, because he's my son". Doesn't this remind you of the tale of Tanabata ? Killua's story references the tale of Orihime perfectly, and I believe this is intentional : Killua's birthday isn't of any importance to the plot, so why make it Tanabata, a day that celebrates a love story that closely ressembles Killua's story ? The answer is simple : subtext.

With all this in mind, I think it's pretty clear that Togashi is writing intentional subtext to hint at Killua's feelings being romantic in nature. Togashi is a master writer, he has years of experience, and I strongly believe he knows what he's doing and not planting unintentional subtext. He's a very smart man, and knows how all of this can be interpreted.

I will finish by saying that Togashi is NOT an author that would deliberately queerbait his readers. So many people dismiss the possibility of having gay subtext leading onto an actual canon gay relationship because "it's not like the author would ever have gay main characters". While this holds true for a lot of manga authors, especially shonen manga authors, it does NOT apply to Togashi. 

Togashi has always displayed interest in queer subjects and queer representation, putting trans characters in all of his major works (Miyuki in YYH, Mikihisa in Level E and Alluka in HxH). There were also canonically gay characters in his previous works : Itsuki in YYH, and a character named Kuramoto in Level E. 

Togashi also always had interest in mangas having BL elements, citing Maya Mineo's "Patalliro!" as a manga he was attracted to during High School. If you're unfamiliar with Patalliro, the story focuses on the main character's love life as a gay man.  He also admitted to basing Hiei's (YYH) design off a character from that manga. 

Last but not least, Togashi mentioned in a note included in volume 1 of YYH that he wanted to write a sports manga, called The Trouble Quartet, where basically all the characters are gay. Togashi said he based it off his own interests as a writer, and that while it was refused by Shonen Jump, he got deeply attached to the project and that he would love to explore this project in a different shape once he made a name for himself. I suggest reading this post because the parallels between The Trouble Quartet and HxH are HILARIOUSLY accurate.

In short, Togashi has always had interest in queer matters, and was always interested in putting queer representation in his work. After YYH, which was a terrible experience for Togashi as a writer, he managed to snatch a contract that basically allows him to do whatever he wants with HxH. Having always held dear BL matters but never being able to explore it to his full intent, I believe Togashi is exploring queer identity further with HxH, because Shonen Jump basically lets him do anything.

To conclude, with Togashi's past experience and skill, his interest in queer representation, and the amount of subtext surrounding Killua, I honestly believe that Togashi is trying to explore further queer representation, and I wouldn't be surprised if HxH ends with Gon and Killua becoming a canon pairing, whether it be delivered in an ambiguous manner or not. 

Edit : I actually wrote a post on why I believe it won’t be ambiguous, and that it’s truly never been ambiguous, just developing : here.

I hope you enjoyed the read, thank you for reading all of this, and feel free to show this to anyone who denies subtext in HxH !

REFERENCES

- "It has to be Killua" - Medium article, "Impossibilities in Translating Queerness : The Dodgeball Dilemma" 

- Palm's Date Scene - Reddit post, "Togashi's love of Ambiguity: Chapters 217 and 218" 

-A thematic analysis of Palm’s character : ”The Issue With Palm”

- Shinjuu - Tumblr post by hunterxhell, "A lovers' suicide, I guess." :  + the post that mentions Ikalgo talking about shinjuu 

- An analysis on different subtext-y situations

- Illumi and Hisoka’s parallel : here and here 

- Killua’s birthday : "Killua, July 7th, and the significance of his birthdate”

- Togashi's interview mentioning Mineo's Patalliro 

#hxh #hxh meta #hunter x hunter #killugon #meta #my posts #my meta

[crimsonophelia]

Could I get a fluffy and maybe flirty Childe imagine set during his story quest? Instead of the Traveler and Paimon accompanying him, the reader (who works at the Northland Bank as one of Childe’s subordinates) gets slapped with the duty of babysitting Teucer and covering for Childe and his façade as a toy seller in Liyue.

"I must say that your brother is quite cute, sir."

"...I guess it must run in the family."

"Hm? Did you say something, comrade?"

"Oh. Um. Nothing, sir."

Of course, being the perceptive man he is, Childe heard all of what they said. What he ends up doing or saying to the reader? Seeing the magic you’ve worked when anon previously gave you the liberty of it, I leave it entirely up to you. :)

featuring: childe x gn!reader

warnings: a teeny bit suggestive at the end

published: april 27 2021

form: imagine

a/n: i’m gonna be real with you, i was stuck on ar35 for the longest time because i was too cowardly to level up my world so i finally did it today and i jumped from 35 to 41 T_T and now my enemies are stupidly strong. but anyways i just started the childe quest today so im just gonna stick to the part when they’re still in liyue and there’s no fighting wwww

“teucer, i swear to celestia-” you muttered under your breath, as the little redhead slipped from your grasp yet again, running ahead to go look at some kite vendors. “come back here, kid! otherwise you’re gonna be in a heck of a lot of trouble!” 

earlier in the day, you were out running errands for the bank, under tartaglia’s orders, when you had come across rumors of a ruin guard running amok. figuring you would use your spare time and save some local liyue citizens the trouble of having to deal with the feral robot, you defeated the machine with efficient ease. however, in the vicinity, you discovered a lone child showing great excitement at a deactivated ruin guard, jumping and leaping while calling it “mr. cyclops” with a strange elation. 

you figured the boy was snezhnayan, what with his features and clothing reminiscent of the cold climate of your homeland. but why in the world was he out by a ruin hunter all alone? he kept mentioning his brother, a toy seller in liyue, but you could think of absolutely nobody that fit that description. 

so, out of the goodness of your own heart, you decided to take the little boy-- teucer, he called himself--back to liyue harbor with you, and see if you could find this older brother of his. 

however, once you arrived back in the city, your plans were quickly derailed as the little brat seemed to have the attention span of a fruit fly, and was constantly trying to weasel his way into some other dangerous situation without you knowing. 

“god dammit teucer”, you huffed, trying to keep up with the child. who let children have so much energy? your age must finally be catching up to you, you thought. “how about we go back to northland bank? you might like it there” you thought taking him back to your headquarters would stall the boy for enough time for you to find someone who might know the whereabouts of teucer’s brother. there weren’t too many snezhnayans in liyue--whoever his brother is, he can’t be far.

the little boy looked up at you with his big, blue puppy eyes, but you knew his act by now. “no buts, kid. if you’re lucky, we’ll be able to track down you’re brother there.” he sighed, relenting to your orders and following you back to northland bank.

the two of you climbed up the stairwell leading to the entrance of the bank on the second floor, teucer clearly dejected and pouting like a baby. exhausted, you pushed open the doors that you were so familiar with, and ushered the child inside.

much to your surprise, you see tartaglia talking with ekaterina in the lobby. it had been quite a while since you had seen your superior in person, and the surprise certainly was not unwelcome. sometimes you couldn’t stand the man’s smug attitude, yet there was something in his rogueish charisma that you simple couldnt deny attracted you to him.

teucer also seemed to be excited by this sighting of the red-headed harbinger, the little boy’s eyes lighting up with unbridled excitement.

“brother!”

wait. was tartaglia the older brother teucer had been talking about all along?

childe turned around, distracted by teucer’s voice, and upon seeing the little boy, his eyes lit up—first with surprise, then with confusion.

“teucer? what the heck are you doing here in liyue?”

he left the fatui agent with a befuddled look upon her face, and ran towards the child. teucer jumped up into his brother’s broad arms, and they grasped each other in a tight hug, like they had not seen each other for at least an eternity.

ruffling teucer’s hair, tartaglia softened, with an expression unlike anything you had really seen him wear before. he really must care about his family, you thought to yourself.

“so you’re the older brother this little tyke has been talking nonstop about”, you teased tartaglia, elbowing him in his side. “you know, he’s thrown me for a loop this entire day. i didnt think babysitting was part of the job requirement.”

the red-head chuckled abashedly, scratching his head. “sorry about that, [y/n]. the little guy can’t seem to bear being away from his favorite big brother.”

teucer laughed. he truly looked so happy to be with tartaglia again, which made you wonder what the harbinger was like when not on the job. you had known him to be a ruthless war machine, a hedonistic killer who thrived off of the rush battle and bloodshed gave him. childe could take down a dozen men, twice his size, in a matter of minutes, hardly breaking a sweat. yet seeing him interact with teucer, almost a little mini-sized version of himself, his gentleness and care surprised you. perhaps there was more to the man than you had initially thought.

teucer finally detaching himself from tartaglia, looked up at his brother with those same puppy eyes, now full of admiration. “are you here to sell toys to the liyue children, too?”, the child asked. toys? what toys could he possibly be referring to? you and ekaterina, both, looked at childe with confusion.

tartaglia stuttered for a moment. “oh! uhh— yes! yes i am! i was just talking with the nice lady, ms. ekaterina, on how many toys we can sell to all the children in liyue!” he responded, hardly missing a beat. did teucer not know what childe’s actual occupation was?

“wow! my brother really is the coolest person ever!” teucer leaped up and down, hanging onto tartaglia’s pantlegs. looking at this young, untainted innocence, you begun to understand why childe might try and shield the child from the truth.

childe detached the excitable child from his clothing, and beckoned ekaterina over. “ms. ekaterina, would you do me the grand favor of watching teucer for the rest of the day? i’d hate to burden our friend [y/n] after they have already brought him to liyue from celestia-knows-where.” he turns to teucer, telling him “big brother ajax is going to sell many, many toys now! so you need to behave yourself when i’m gone, okay? miss ekaterina will be watching you, and she’s very nice.” he pinches his brother’s cheek, teasing him lightly, and ushering him away with the fatui agent.

it’s now just you and tartaglia in the bank, as the sun was setting and all the other employees had gone home for the day. you heaved a sigh of relief, glad to be rid of baby-sitting duty, after having to deal with teucer’s antics for several hours now.

“i’m really sorry about all of that. i had no idea he would be coming, as a stowaway, no less.” the man looked at you with genuine gratitude. “i don’t want to imagine what might’ve happened to the little brat if you hadn’t been there.”

you chuckled, not quite used to seeing such sincerity coming from the harbinger. most of the time, you had been accustomed to his charismatic facade that he puts on when he becomes childe, the eleventh and one of the most dangerous members of the fatui harbingers.

“don’t worry, it really was no problem. your brother is certainly a handful, but undeniably adorable”, you said, mindlessly gathering your belongings again as you prepared to head out again. “he takes after his older brother quite a bit, i must say.”

“come again?” childe looked behind him, eyebrow cocked.

“oh— nothing. i didnt say anything”, you muttered. shit. you really need to get better at keeping your mouth shut. you refused to be known as the insolent fool with the puppy-love crush on the goddamn eleventh fatui harbinger.

“oh? that didnt really sound like nothing, my dear [y/n].” he smirked. whenever he called you “my dear”, you knew you were in for major teasing. he was definitely having fun with this. he strode towards you innocently, with that usual swagger of his, that tinted everything he did. his walk, his talk, his appearance all oozed confidence, and it was utterly intoxicating.

tartaglia now looked at you with a glint in his eye, the same look he gave enemies before he was about to utterly obliterate them. it was frightening, yet terribly alluring, and you despised how much you fell for it.

suddenly, you felt your back hit the cold, marble wall. you hadn’t even realized that tartaglia had cornered you against a gold pillar, his mere presence forcing you to unconsciously move away from him as he approached you, calculatedly. a lump growing in your throat, you couldn’t bring yourself to even utter a single word in defense, only feeling your cheeks grow hotter and your legs grow weaker.

tartaglia leaned his arm against the pillar, dangerously close to your head, effectively propping himself up with only you between him. you were far too aware of the space—or rather, the lack thereof—separating the two of you, the man’s hot breath audible in the dead, echoing silence of the golden bank.

tartaglia smirked, bringing his face close to yours. “you flatter me greatly, [y/n].” smirking, his breath grazed against your neck, his stare burning into your flesh. the way your name sounded on his lips made your breath hitched in your throat. too hot, you felt way too hot. it was impossible for a hydro user to make you feel such unbearable heat.

“seems as if your clever words aren’t of any use to you now, hmm?” you could feel the mans lips brushing against your jaw, each touch against you leaving a stinging trail. he brought his free hand to caress your own, fingers clasping yours as if you were made of a delicate porcelain, the finest kind liyue had to offer. slowly, as if dragging out each second as long as he could, tartaglia brought your hand to his lips, and planted a long, slow kiss to the back of your palm.

your eyes widened at the sheer eroticism with which he kissed your hand—an act commonly of etiquette somehow being much more lustful, even debauched when tartaglia did it. all you could feel was where his lips met your hand, the phantom burn it left, the slight string of saliva connecting his lips to your hand as he left it, the dark gaze in his eyes as he looked back up at you, clearly aware of how vulnerable you were in his grasp.

“thank you again, my dear. i hope we can continue to work together in the future.”

a/n: jesus christ this got really horny at the end LMFAO anyways i hope you like it! its kinda long but wtv

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin x reader #childe x reader #childe imagines #childe headcanons #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia headcanons #tartaglia imagines #childe x y/n #tartaglia x y/n

[robininthelabyrinth]

Targets - ao3

- Chapter 6 -

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mistress Wen,” the boy with the gentle smile who called himself Meng Yao said, bowing. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Wen Qing did not especially want to talk to – anyone,  really, but she really didn’t want to talk, least of all, to a boy some seven years her junior, from another sect with everything that entailed. But just over his shoulder, she could see that Wen Ning was smiling, his cheeks almost bulging with the force of it, as he spoke with the other children, making friends for the first time in his life, and she supposed it was in her best interest to make friends as well.

“I’m not planning on staying, you know,” she told him, just in case, and he nodded agreeably. “I’m a prisoner of war.”

A very comfortable prisoner of war. Who may or may not have put up very little fuss about getting captured when her supposedly secure carriage escort had gotten raided by the Nie sect, especially when their sect leader had recognized her by sight on first meeting and bowed politely instead of taking her head off at once as she might have expected. He’d even asked after her brother’s health – Wen Ruohan hadn’t done that once in the entire time she’d known him, and still less after he’d abruptly gone mad.

And he had, in fact, gone mad.

There was no other way to explain his behavior.

One day he’d been fine, scheming and vicious and narcissistic the way she’d always known he was but also cautious and thoughtful, set upon a slow and inexorable scheme of domination that would see him eventually claim all that he desired, and the next moment he was – very nearly unhinged. He saw himself as the rightful master of the cultivation world, just as he always had, except now it was as if he had had safely it in the palm of his hand and then had it snatched away from him, rather than anticipating a future prize to be eventually savored; he was frustrated and so, so angry, lashing out at all around him.

His sons had loved the idea of attacking the other sects – Wen Xu was old enough to plan out battles, the son of Sect Leader Wen’s previous wife, while Wen Chao, who was still young but old enough to tear off the limbs of small creatures, couldn’t wait to torment the children that had shown him up in achievements, stealing the accolades that he viewed as belonging to him.

They were still young, she’d told herself, and didn’t know better, could still be educated into something like kindness and compassion, but she’d also known that that wouldn’t help them if the other sects defeated theirs - that was the problem with war like this, where there was no room for mercy. What idiot would permit them to live long enough to seek vengeance for their clan?

What idiot would allow her and Wen Ning to live, assuming the same would be true for them?

As a result, Wen Qing had been much less enthusiastic about the whole project, although after her uncle had made an example of the few generals that dared to protest his decisions she was very quiet about her lack of enthusiasm. It didn’t mean she agreed with anything he was doing – that wasn’t new, she hadn’t agreed with anything he was doing for years now, but she’d gotten used to closing her eyes and shutting her ears, but nowadays it was much worse than before. He was acting as though he’d already finished all his carefully-laid plans – the ones he’d previously recognized were necessary as a foundation for the strike he would be ready to make in five or ten years, the one-shot-kill domination of the cultivation world – and nothing, seemingly, could be done to convince him otherwise.

Not even the risk to his precious sons.

The Fire Palace was full of new people, and new things, too, and if Wen Qing ever found out what sick, twisted mind had come up with those torture machines…

“Of course you’re a prisoner, Mistress Wen,” Meng Yao said smoothly. “I am merely acting as a prison guard. Would you like some lunch? Or a bath, or some rest…?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re not a servant,” she said. “Your clothing is too fine for that.”

“I’m a disciple of the Nie sect, a new one,” Meng Yao said, and she thought he almost sounded surprised about that. “That doesn’t mean that I can’t see to your comfort.”

Wen Qing looked again at Wen Ning, who was now being lured onto the training field and a bow pressed into his hand by excited youngsters. His cheeks were bright red, a sure sign that someone was complimenting him – probably the Wei boy, the Jiang sect’s ward, who was waving his hands around very enthusiastically as if he were trying to sell Wen Ning whole and entire, clothing and crown thrown in for free. The other children seemed just as enthusiastic, though, excluding perhaps the Lan sect’s second young master who mostly just looked harassed but continued to linger as if he were hoping for even more harassment.

It seemed…exhausting.

“A bath would be nice,” she said, giving in with a sigh and wishing, not for the first time, that she wasn’t one of the oldest of her generation. Wen Xu was older, yes, but he obviously wasn’t here, and most of the Nie sect that were her age would be away to war soon enough if they weren’t already. She foresaw a great deal of babysitting in her future. “And then, perhaps, a conversation with some relevant individual to pass along important battle information that I definitely wouldn’t have access to, being a humble and unimportant doctor?”

Meng Yao grinned at her.

“Oh, I think something like that can be arranged,” he said cheerfully. Probably more than he would be if he knew half the information she had to offer was completely insane – for example, her uncle had gotten terribly fixated on demonic cultivation of late, claiming that it would allow a single man to take down a battalion, except he had no idea how to make any of it work. She hoped he never figured it out. “The more the merrier here, Wen-jiejie, and I think we’re all of the opinion that the sooner this war is over, the better. Wouldn’t you say?”

“You’re not the only one who thinks so,” Wen Qing said tartly, not sure if she appreciated the intimacy or not. At least it boded well for her future survival, and Wen Ning’s... “Part of my uncle’s insanity has been his – quite frankly – ridiculous conviction that he needs to kill all of you specifically before you, and I quote, ‘threaten to shoot down the sun’.”

What madman would target the sun?

Maybe they should, though, she thought, and not as unwillingly as she’d always believed she’d be if it ever came down to it. Wen Ruohan might be her uncle, her patron, the one who pulled her up into the sky, and she’d always been resigned to the fact that if he was shot down, so would she; the knowledge had paralyzed her, forced her to be indifferent to his crimes. But the Nie sect was treating her as if she were still Dafan Wen, just different enough to be left out of the dirty water Qishan Wen was splashing all over her surname – through war, through domination, through the attempted kidnapping and murder of lots of innocent children...

Maybe it would be good for him to understand what it’s like to be made a target.

“I like that,” an unexpected voice behind her said – it was the Nie sect leader again, looking unusually boyish without his war-armor and with a smile on his face instead of a scowl. She abruptly wondered how old he was, and how much he’d suffered collaterally when it had been his father who’d been the target instead of her uncle; it hadn’t been something she’d thought much about before. “If there was ever a need to shoot the sun down, it’s now, with Wen Ruohan equating himself for it…it’s like aiming at kite flying in the sky that’s in desperate need of deflating. We could call the war the Sunshot Campaign.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Wen Qing couldn’t help but scoff. “What’s the likelihood that something like that catching on?”

#mdzs #wen qing #meng yao #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #targets

[jamespotterthefirst]

Hit the Town (Ethan x f!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1.5K Warning: N/A Premise: After enjoying drinks with their friends, they escape to a quick dinner date. 

A/N: Just self indulgent crack, don’t mind me. 

They stood in comfortable silence as the elevator ascended to their destination, the scent of her perfume embracing his every sense in the confined space. Not surprisingly, Ethan had found himself easily persuaded to abandon the tower of paperwork that awaited him in favor of spending the rest of the evening with her. 

As the elevator announced the 20th floor, she moved closer to him, her body fitting so perfectly to his side. “Are you still thinking about work?” she correctly guessed. 

Ethan’s arm automatically draped over her shoulders, as though it was second nature. 

“I’ve been thinking of nothing but work these past few months,” he confessed in the silence.

Lilac simply nodded. The same could be said for her-- for everyone at Edenbrook-- as the date of its final day loomed closer. That thought alone was enough to send his mind spiraling into a cesspool of melancholy. He forcefully pushed them away, deciding to focus instead on the rather pretty smile she gifted him. 

“Let’s not think about work tonight,” she proposed, straightening her posture with a new sense of purpose. Her fingers toyed with the gold pocket square that matched her dress perfectly.  “Tonight is about you, me, and how good we look for this date.”

The latter point of her argument was undeniable, at least when concerning Lilac. His girlfriend in the gold dress that clung to her like a second skin had to be the most alluring sight he had ever seen. His eyes traveled down the plunging neckline, tracing the sparkling band of her necklace. 

Lilac caught him staring, her smile turning devilish as she pressed herself closer to him. 

“Besides, there's so much more you could be doing with your time than paperwork,” she argued in a low whisper, lips pressed against the column of his throat. 

Ethan wholeheartedly agreed with that compelling argument, particularly with the one her delicate hands made at the buttons of his shirt. A chill traveled down the length of his body, not from the air conditioner of the elevator but from the captivating, expectant way her green eyes studied him when she pulled back. 

“Like what?” he asked anyway. 

“Like me,” she returned without a beat in the sexiest murmur he had ever heard. 

Ethan grinned down at her, surprised he had enough self control to do even that. “That was terrible, Allende.”

Yet it worked, his body thrummed with an overpowering need to push her against the elevator railing, the unbridled longing buzzing wildly through his veins like an exposed wire. The loud ding of the elevator announcing their arrival, however, interrupted what promised to be a charged and heady kiss. 

Lilac took in the lavish décor of the restaurant, rendered even more intimate by the twinkling lights of the city sparkling through the floor to ceiling windows. As the maître d' approached, she hurriedly leaned up to whisper in his ear. 

“Ethan, this looks like the kind of place that needs a reservation.” 

Her eyes fell on the crystal chandelier adorning the high ceiling and added, “A reservation months in advance.”

Ethan only grinned crookedly at her. 

“And given that I just seduced you into this date one hour ago, I really doubt we have one.”

“Seduced me? Is that how you'll get me to do your bidding from now on?” 

He would welcome that new development. To his slight disappointment, however, she ignored this question, wide eyes fixed on the maître d' before them. 

“Good evening. What is the name for the reservation?” 

“Ethan Ramsey.”

The man nodded once. “Of course. Welcome, Dr. Ramsey. If you follow me.” 

He turned to lead them into the luxurious dining room. By the time they sat at their private table with an unobstructed view of the bay, Lilac blinked out of her surprise.

 “How did you—?” 

“I'm friends with the head chef.”

“Of course you are.”

Ethan flashed her another crooked smile, this one taking effect immediately in the adorable blush of her cheeks. His own stomach swooped in response, part of him incredulous that he was really there, on a date with the woman of his dreams. 

The waiter arrived and Ethan wasted no time in ordering an expensive bottle of champagne, earning him a curious glance from Lilac. 

“What are we celebrating?” 

The bravado seemed to fizzle out and Ethan, suddenly self conscious, shrugged. “The fact that we can finally do this openly, without having to hide.”

Her eyes met his, the rosy patches on her cheeks burning brighter. Looking positively touched, she gave him a fond smile. 

Lilac did not have an opportunity to say anything else because their champagne arrived, along with a beautiful display of appetizers. At the sight of food, her expression brightened, eliciting a laugh from Ethan. 

“I hate seafood but I'm going to try the Ahi Tuna Poke,” she informed him confidently. 

Ethan raised his brows. “Why? You know you'll hate it.”

“I want to see if I'll like it now that I'm older and more mature.”

“Mature?” he asked with faux sarcasm. 

Lilac stuck out her tongue at him. “You know what I mean. You start enjoying things you once hated as you grow older.”

Ethan considered this in the quiet ambiance of the restaurant. Finally, he nodded his agreement. “I definitely know what you mean. When I was younger, I hated pistachio ice cream. My dad always insisted on buying it and just the sight of it made me gag.”

It was Lilac's turn to laugh, endeared by the story. “Poor little Ethan,” she commented, leaning in to bop his nose with her finger. He would never admit it out loud but it made his chest swell pleasantly. “I always wondered what you were like when you were younger.”

“I was a devil. Remember that story about me blowing up my neighbor's shed?” 

She laughed again but shook her head. “No, I mean I've never seen any pictures of young Ethan Ramsey.”

“That's been on purpose, Rookie. They're locked away in Providence, safe from prying eyes.”

Her shoulders deflated at that, the light of the chandelier catching the sequin of her dress. The crestfallen expression, however, did not last long.  

“And how do I get access to these adorable pictures?” 

“When I die.”

“Or,” she added without missing a beat, her expression brightening in a way Ethan didn't exactly appreciate. “I could just text Alan right now. I bet he'll send them if I asked.”

Ethan glared at her, finding it difficult to remain unsmiling when her playful grin lit up the entire room. 

They stared each other down for a long minute before they both sprang into action at the same time, each reaching for their phone. 

“Too late,” she proclaimed, her voice giddy. It attracted the attention of a nearby couple but she didn't seem to care. “I'm texting him now and—Oh my God, he's replying.”

Ethan wasn't even sure what he meant to do with his own phone. There was no chance he could ever compete with Lilac's lightning-speed texting.

Finally, a message came in on her phone and Lilac clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God,” she squealed, the sound muffled. “Ethan!” 

He knew his father had sent her the pictures he requested because her eyes darted from her screen to Ethan and then back again. 

“You were so—” 

“Don't say—” 

“Adorable!” 

Lilac showed him her screen and he groaned.

As she dissolved into giggles, Ethan brandished his own phone at her. “You'll pay for that, Allende.”

“Go ahead,” she challenged. “Nothing you do is going to top—” 

“I'm texting your sister,” he interrupted calmly. “For pictures of young you.”

Her laughter halted completely, all traces of humor vanishing entirely. With as much dignity as possible, she shrugged, though the intended effect was ruined by the way she had almost leapt across the table with every intention of snatching his phone away. 

Before she could do just that, Ethan began to text.

“I'm going to murder her,” Lilac said passionately just as the server stopped at their table to refill their glasses. He didn't even bat an eye at Lilac's declaration. 

“No need,” Ethan said with a chuckle, glancing at the pictures once more. “My plan of embarrassing you backfired since there's not a single bad picture of you in here.”

She rolled her eyes but he could tell she was fighting back a smile. Unable to resist, he gently took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. The private moment between them lingered, their eyes locked on each other’s as though magnetized. 

“Thank you,” he murmured. 

Her lips were parted, her voice slightly breathless. “For what?” 

“For making this night infinitely better.”

Her responding smile was brighter and far more breathtaking than the view of the city behind her. 

“It's only just starting.”

_________________

A/N: Told you that was crazy and pointless. I really wanted them to go out somewhere, anywhere in those hot outfits. Thank you if you made it this far!

Dedicated to @takeharryandgo​ who said “Ethan is the town and MC is going to hit it” in regards to the dress being changed from “Date Night” to “Hit the Town” 

thank you @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading!

Love you all,

Bree

Also, the Pictagram series: Chapter 10 is taking longer because work is crazy for me atm. I also want to make sure this particular chapter is the best it can possibly be! 

_____________________

(Sorry if I forgot anyone) 

tags: @openheart12​ , @takeharryandgo​ , @trappedinfanfiction​, @aestheticartsx​, @aworldoffandoms​, @paulfwesley​, @myusualnerdyself​,  @rookie-ramsey​, @ohchoices​, @colossalpainintheass​, @enmchoices​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​, @choicesfanaf​, @openheartthot​, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe​, @utterlyinevitable​, @kites-in-our-skies​, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, @choicesstan1​, @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @mrsramseyy, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​​, @nikki-2406​​, @lilypills​​, @chasingrobbie​​, @nooruleman​​, @angela8756​, @lonely-mxxnlight​​, @ruinedbypixels​​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​​, @tsrookie​​, @mvalentine​​, @professorkingslay​​, @drakewalkerfantasy​​, @casey-v​​, @helloblueeyedcat​​, @mysticaurathings​​, @blossomanarchy​​, @thegreentwin​​, @togetherwearerapture​​, @rookieoh​​, @ramseysno1rookie​​, @rookiemarsswiftie​​, @natashajaniphil​​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​​, @hatescapsicum​​, @choices-lurker​​, @kiara-36​​, @junehiratas​​, @danijimenezv​​, @macy-ray85​​, @adrex04​​, @canigetanawwjunk​​, @sanchita012​​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​​ , @scorpiochick8​​, @skylarklyon​​, @starrystarrytrouble​​, @mercury84choices​​, @drariellevalentine​​, @ethanrcmsey​​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​​, @kaavyaethanramsey​​ , @udishaman​​

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #playchoices #my writing #ethan ramsey fanfiction #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction

[officialgomezaddams]

Morality

I honestly dk what this is but its set in AOTC kinda want to turn this into a little series $wag also shout out to my fellow nihilists this is for you bb

Palpatine had always kept watchful over her but never loomed. It would have been too obvious. When he met Anakin, it was like a breath of fresh air, a realization that this little boy was destined to restore the balance in the force and his daughter, Y/n, would be the one to defeat him. He had begun the idea of his daughter once he joined the Darkside, already knowing that the possibility to be overthrown was something he couldn’t let happen. The dark energy, the power, was simply too much to let go of. The moment he saw the nine-year-old boy, the lord was happy to know that the power would stay on the dark side. 

Dooku trained Y/n as a padawan, and when he left the order, he took Y/n with him, kidnapping her into the night. When she asked why they were leaving the temple as he dragged her into a ship, he simply replied, “Sometimes when politicians can’t do their job, we must do something ourselves.” Over the years together, he would open up more, telling Y/n about the death of Qui-Gon and every step that drove him to leave. 

“The Jedi rely on selflessness. To strip one’s ability to have connection and emotion. They lose themselves in conformity. We need to take control of the life we’re given. Emotion, passion, drive. Those are how we will be victorious. Corrupt politicians pull the Jedi around like kites on strings. You can not try and save a house that its lousy foundation has torn down. Tear it down and build a new one.” 

It was her job to ensure just that, a new foundation set within the heart of the Darkside. Relentless training to mentally and physically defeat the chosen one. Palpatine would often tell her that her destiny was a part of the Sith Two, that the strongest one of the two would survive, and it was to be her. Darth Sidious found comfort that his creation would take over the Darkside once she had killed him and the Count. The most decisive Jedi ruling on the side of the night. 

She didn’t quite understand it, but to stay on the Darkside made the most sense to her. It wasn’t about power. It was the lifestyle. Why be selfless if there was no personal gain? Why spend a life living for something else? Shouldn’t one live their life for themselves? Everyone, she determined, had to want something. As long as she did what she wanted, it was enough. It had to be. Because without drive and her idea of what was truly right and wrong, how would she get anything done? 

She rationed that it all didn’t matter. She would never know who was right because, in her mind, the concept of being right varied too much. The Jedi thought they were right, the sith thought they were right, the politicians who voted against their people’s needs thought they were right. She had to suffer through Palpatine’s long lectures about how awful the senate was and now terrible the Jedi Order is. But who was to say he was right? That was only his opinion. Who was to say the Jedi were right because a frog that was almost nine hundred years old said so? 

“I’m just…” Anakin went on, pulling a piece of grass out of the ground. “I mean, I don’t know. Padmè is beautiful and wonderful. She’s everything that could make someone perfect: marriage, it’s so permanent. I know I’m supposed to be excited, which I am, of course. But what if we were not supposed to be together.” 

His speech made her frown. “Sometimes, it’s better just to dive in and see where you land.” She offered. The dreams with Anakin were a peaceful escape to a Jedi’s life. Neither knew why their dreams brought them together or what they even meant. Neither of them bothered, living the same training life on opposite sides. A sweet dream was the perfect reward. “And who are you going to be with then, me?” She teased back. 

The setting of the dreams was in the meadows of Naboo. The pastel-colored flowers stood dim in the moonlight from the starry night above. Anakin laid with his head in her lap as they talked about their personal lives, never going in too deep about what their destinies were. Anakin no longer had the pressure of being the chosen one, and Y/n never had to admit she would kill the chosen one. 

“I wish,” Anakin admitted, now looking up at her. “I want so bad to meet you Y/n, not just in my dreams but in real life. If I could have you by my side, all of this would be less confusing. I’ve fallen in love with you, a woman in my dreams. Why can’t you be in my reality?”

“Don’t say that,” She whispered. Whenever Anakin talked about his little girl-thing, Y/n wasn’t even one hundred percent sure what their relationship was, and she always felt a slight nic in her heart. Y/n knew that she was in love with Anakin, but to hear about another woman making him the happiest he’s been in the majority of the years that she knew him, that it wasn’t her, the one sneaking in kisses with him in the shadows. It brought out an ugly feeling of jealousy and possessiveness to Y/n that she didn’t know she had. 

“I promise, one day, I’ll be with you in all the ways you want.” She spoke with a smile. She would often daydream about what life would be like to meet him real-time. They would run up to each other and crush each other in a hug. She imagined it all.

“Tell me about it,” Anakin edged on, closing his eyes as if it was going to play out in his head.

“Well, I want to go somewhere like D’Qar, somewhere quiet where I won’t have to worry about neighbors or anyone I don’t want finding me. Or us, because you’re coming with me no matter what your soon-to-be wife says,” You teased, making him laugh. “Maybe- Sometimes in my dreams, there’s no Padmè, it’s just us, and every so often there are kids, but it’s just us. Tucked away where we can be together, and nothing can bother us or stop us from being together.”

The silence that sat in between them began to scare Y/n, “Is that a future you would want with me?”

His eyes met hers, a peaceful moment in the chaos of their lives. He reached up to tuck a strand of hair that fell in front of her face, behind her ear. “If I were able to, I would.”

“And why can’t you? Why can’t you have the things you want, Anakin? Is it wrong to be happy?” 

Waking up from the dreams was always the most challenging part, the reality of it not being a reality. Y/n woke up already in a bad mood, mentally kicking herself for pushing too far in. Of course, he wouldn’t want to. He’s getting married to someone else. You’re too late. It had always been Y/n’s plan to end up with Anakin in some way or another. From the first dream to now, she decided to leave the Sith once she had killed the chosen one. Somedays, she would pace around, impatiently waiting for whoever held the title to cross her path so she could just finish the job and take the next ship to wherever Anakin was. 

She tore the necklace he had given her off her neck, clutching the carven japor snippet in her hand with a grip so hard she could have cracked it if it wasn’t made out of stone. She was squeezing her eyes shut, trying not to cry. Anakin had given Y/n the good luck charm when they were at the age of thirteen. Y/n was upset that once everything was over that he may not want to be with her, the reputation of her choices would drive him away. 

“Well, you can’t be that bad,” He commented, pulling out the carved stone from his pocket and shyly handing it to her. “I made this for you,” Anakin explained as she put it around her neck, “So that when good things happen, you can think of me. It’ll be my way of keeping you safe, and in return, one day, you will come to me safely.”

She opened her eyes and stared at the carvings, remembering how Anakin said he made it just for her, so she better not lose it. Y/n wanted to break it, throw it away, and never see Anakin again. She wanted more than just the dreams. She wanted the sunsets and the early morning and the rainy days - all of it. Maybe they were wrong, they weren’t supposed to meet, and it was just a nice dream. 

She couldn’t do that. She at least owes him a simple greeting, and then she can get rid of him. Putting the necklace back on and wiping her face to make sure she wasn’t crying, Y/n walked out of the room, ready for whatever the sith wanted her to do. 

“Just be patient,” Her master told her as they waited outside the still open ship. Geonosis was overrun with battle, the sith fighting tooth and bone to claim the planet as its capital, the major droid foundries, and its Mandalorians. Nothing could be more perfect for the sith. The two force signatures caught Y/n’s attention. Looking up at Dooku, she told him, “Well, let’s make it quick then.” 

“The chosen one will be here,” he whispered back. “I’ll leave that one to you.”

“You’re gonna pay for all the Jedi you killed, Dooku,” A familiar voice said as you both turned around in unison. “Y/N?” A pit dropped in her stomach. It was him, Anakin. Anakin’s blue saber was pointed at the ground, more focused on her than the older man. 

The necklace he gave her burned her through her robes. Anakin was finally there in front of her. This Anakin was different from her dreams. He stood with more pride and confidence. He was also the chosen one. “I-I didn’t expect to meet you like this,” She told him, knowing full well once on the ship, she would be interrogated about her knowledge of the boy. 

“Why are you with him?” The venom in his voice almost made her feel guilty about being who she was. “Are you-? Don’t tell me Y/n-” He couldn’t find the words to express his confusion and disappointment, “You’re a Sith. How can you be with them? You lied to me! Can’t you see what they’re doing to you? Can’t you see what they’ve done!”

“The Jedi know no facts,” She spoke, looking over at the Count, waiting for his head nod and sign of approval to ignite her orange saber. The whole weapon was made for destruction, a perfect saber to kill the chosen one. Its orange glow was representing strength. The curved hilt that matched hers of her masters was perfect for duels and close fights. “Only assumptions.”

It hurt her to have him looking at her in disgust. As if she was suddenly less than him because of her beliefs. “Anakin, you need to calm down,” She warned him as he charged towards her, only for Dooku to step in front of her, raising his hand to send bolds of electricity into the boy’s body and fling him into a rock wall. “Don’t keep me waiting,” Her master spoke before walking up the platform of the ship. 

Y/n only had seconds to understand that not only her master had abandoned her, Anakin was also lying limp in a pile of rocks, and the other Jedi was making his way towards her. She pointed her saber straight ahead at him, taking careful steps around him, trying to think about how this all would end. Was this it? When is supposed to kill the chosen one who happened to be the boy Y/n had fallen in love with over the past ten years? She knew that once she killed Anakin, she would have to kill the two sith above her, starting the two over with her as a master. 

“I heard the little green guy talks highly of you, Kenobi. What a pity it will be when I kill his two strongest men.”

Obi-wan shook his head, “You’re not Dooku’s apprentice. You’re just an assassin to him. Y/n why would he elect a child to be his successor?” He spoke as if he could read her mind, his blue eyes pleading with her. 

“You don’t know anything!” Y/n yelled, making the first strike. His saber skills were advanced, but quickly she was able to disarm him and left two marks on him, one on his arm and one on his thigh. She walked up to him, the two staring at each other. Was she about to kill this man? She had never killed a human before. Taking down droids and other creatures were casual to her. Humans? This man was edging her on with his eyes, both understanding that she wasn’t able to drive her saber into his neck. She couldn’t just kill a man who had done nothing to her. That would be wrong, right? But if it was so bad, why was she encouraged to do it? 

Before she could thoroughly choose, Anakin came at full force again. This time his master had tossed him his saber, making the fight two against one. “Why won’t you join our site, the right side?” Anakin asked, swiftly dodging her but failing to make any advancements to disarming her. 

“I don’t believe in any right sides.” She told him, knocking the green lightsaber out of his hand, evening out the fight. “I believe in one thing. Power of human will.” 

She walked into the ship quietly, ignoring the little green Jedi behind her. She didn’t care about the older man, Yoda or Count Dooku. She walked past the sith and made her way right to the pilot’s seat before sitting down. 

Dooku followed her, giving her space as she sat down. Crossing his arms like a disappointed parent, he asked, “Well?”

“I cut his arm off,” Y/n spoke, taking out the necklace and looking at the charm in her hand. She left right after, watching him lay unconscious against his master, missing apart of his right arm. She had hurt him, and for a moment, when she was looking at the injured pair, the padawan’s master had the same look on his face as before. An eyebrow raised as if to say, Do it, kill us. I doubt you’ll do it. 

“I’m disappointed in you.” He said. Y/n could have done it. She would have just pictured them as droids and slice the two in half. It would have been quick and painless. She could have plaid her life out, kill the chosen one, rule the sith, and live her life. Why didn’t you? She kept thinking as she admired the gift. 

Looking at the charm, the future she talked about seemed too far away, especially now. The end with the boy she loved, Anakin, who also was the boy she was supposed to kill. But for right now, she thought to herself. She wouldn’t kill him, at least not yet, until she knew for sure that her fantasies with Anakin were just wild dreams. It was her own life. Why couldn’t she have the things she wanted? 

#anakin skywalker imagine #star wars imagine #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker imagines #star wars imagines #anakin imagines #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars x reader

[dreamypeaches]

don’t wake up pt. 5 | rafe cameron x reader

summary: your relationship progresses and rafe makes a mistake

warnings: drug use, alcohol use, cursing, angst (oops)

word count: 4.8k

a/n: apologies in advance. this is sad. it’s also not completely proofread because it made me sad while reading it back. final part will be out tomorrow or monday. enjoy :)

series masterlist

Rafe Cameron was a lot of things. He couldn’t even count all the labels he had swirling around his head. Rafe Cameron was an asshole. Rafe Cameron was a disappointment. Rafe Cameron was an addict. Rafe Cameron was hated. Round and round the words spun in his head. But for the last few weeks, they had slowly started to dissolve replaced by words that spilled like honey from your lips. Rafe Cameron was a good boyfriend. Rafe Cameron was sweet. Rafe Cameron was strong. Rafe Cameron was loved.

You two hadn’t said the words yet, but he knew how he felt about you and he was certain you felt the same. For three weeks you had been official, secretly. Not a day went by that he didn’t see you, hug you, kiss you. You and Rafe hung out everyday. Sometimes, Rafe would plan out elaborate dates, spending his money like it was nothing to buy you a dress and some fancy lingerie. You would drive to the mainland where no one you knew would be, going to the most expensive restaurant he could find, then staying in a suite at the nicest hotel possible. Rafe Cameron was a man who liked to spend his money, he was glad he had finally found something worthwhile to spend it on.

As much as you loved being spoiled by Rafe, most times the extravagance was too much. You grew up on the Cut, you were used to having nothing. You were a simple woman with simple needs, and Rafe would do whatever you wanted to meet them. So, most days, you would drive around the island. You had made several playlists, each one designed to introduce Rafe to a new type of music. Rafe was the first to admit that he had shit taste in music. The first time he had picked you up in his car, he’d pressed shuffle on his music. The look you gave him had been the most terrifying thing he had seen to this day. It was decided then that, as long as you were in the car, you decided on the music. Rafe was pleased to learn that he wasn’t completely hopeless. You had been pleased to hear that he loved Fleetwood Mac, one of your favorite songs being Dreams. From then on, you promised Rafe that you would save him from the musical desert he was living in.

As much as Rafe loved showering you in expensive things, he loved the time in his car with you more. Music turned all the way up, windows down, his hand on your thigh, you singing at the top of your lungs with a contagious grin on your face, it was like a dream. He would drive until the sun started to go down. You would pick up dinner and end up at the beach or one of the beautiful lookouts that graced the Outer Banks. Cuddled up together, you watched the sunset and ate and talked. There were days you couldn’t wait to get home and would have sex under the stars. That’s when Rafe found you most beautiful, moaning his name as the moon reflected around you like a halo. You were his angel, and he was unbelievably happy. Still, it was hard, you both knew it would be.

There were days he fought with his dad and all his negative thoughts and anger swelled up inside him like a bomb. You learned quickly how to defuse him, with soft touches and quiet words, but some days he just needed time. Only once had he come to you, high as a kite with white powder still present on his nose. You shut it down immediately driving him home and telling him if he ever was around you high again, you were done. Rafe had taken it to heart, and had been clean for a couple weeks now, with great difficulty.

He stayed true to his other promise, not provoking your friends when they happened to bump into each other. Despite not knowing about your relationship, it seemed JJ Maybank was intent on making Rafe break his promise.

Rafe had been hanging out with Kelce and Topper when they ran into you, his sister, and the rest of the Pogues. He whispered to his friends to just ignore them, avoiding their surprised looks. Resisting the urge to look at you or touch you, he pushed passed, only to be stopped by JJ’s taunts. He heard you trying to stop him, telling him to just leave it alone, but he wouldn’t listen. Topper and Kelce turned, biting back at the blonde Pogue’s words. Rafe turned as well, meeting your pleading eyes for just a second before grabbing Topper, who had started to approach the group with malice, by the arm and pulling him away.

“They’re not fucking worth it.”

The rest of the Pogues started to leave, but JJ and Topper stood their ground, both refusing to be the first to walk away. Rafe watched as your hand moved to JJ’s shoulder, pulling him towards you but he pushed you off. Rafe’s eyes followed your hand as it trailed down JJ’s arm, taking his hand in yours. White hot jealousy coursed through him as JJ looked at you, and you looked at him, not Rafe. His fists clenched painfully at his side, trying to resist the urge to punch the smirk off his face as he looked back at the Kooks.

“See you Powerpuff girls later,” He said before you pulled harder on his hand. You spared Rafe one last glance, a quiet smile on your face, before walking off, JJ’s hand still holding yours.

Rafe felt himself go numb with rage. It boiled just under the surface for the rest of the day, until that night when he picked you up. He was completely silent on the drive to your destination. You noticed, easily. His normal grip on your thigh was instead wrapped around the steering wheel, showing of his white knuckles. He barely even kissed you when you got into the car, not meeting your eyes. By the time you reached the lookout where you were having your date, you were fed up. Knowing exactly what his problem was, you prepared yourself to confront him. You laid out the blanket while Rafe grabbed the cooler. The moment his butt touched the ground, you were on him.

“Look, I’m sorry about JJ. He doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut,” You started, reaching for Rafe’s hand. He pulled it away from your grasp, turning to look at you for the first time that night.

“Does he have a thing for you?”

Your eyes widened, taken aback by not only the words, but the venom behind them.

“A thing? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and JJ! I saw you two today! The way you held his hand and the way he fucking looked at you, I can’t get it out of my head! So please, tell me whether or not you have a thing for him so I can decide if I get to break his nose,” Rafe seethed. You looked away and sighed. He allowed you to take his hand this time, though he didn’t return your grip.

“No, JJ doesn’t have a thing for me. But, since I care about you, I’m going to perfectly honest. JJ and I did have a thing, once, many years ago. Honestly, I wouldn’t even call it a thing, it was nothing. I was young and he was my best friend and he was cute. We were sixteen and just trying to figure out dating and all that shit. He asked me out because it made sense, me and him. Everyone already thought we were together, so why not try. We went on one date, he kissed me, and we realized what a terrible mistake we had made.”

Rafe had now laced his fingers with yours, staring down at your intertwined hands as you spoke. You reached up and tilted his chin to look at you.

“Baby, that was years ago. JJ and I are just friends and we will never be anything else.”

“Someone should tell Maybank that,” Rafe mumbled, making you giggle.

“If this,” you motioned between the two of you, “is going to work, you have to trust me.”

Rafe groaned, running a hand through his hair. He rarely wore gel in it when he went out with you, knowing how much you hate it.

“It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s him. This is why I want to stop hiding. That Pogue needs to understand that he can’t touch what doesn’t belong to him.”

You rolled your eyes before lifting yourself up so you were face to face with him, lips inches apart.

“I don’t belong to anybody, Cameron,” You breathed. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you roughly into his lap to straddle him. One hand moved down your back, gripping your ass as he sucked on the sensitive spot below your ear. You let out a moan and he chuckled darkly, whispering in your ear, “Are you sure about that angel?”

Clothes were shed soon after that, Rafe hovering over you and pounding into you as you screamed his name into the night. When you finished, Rafe held you close against his chest, covering both of you with a blanket. His fingers ran through your hair as you head rested on his chest.

“Are you going to the kegger tomorrow?” He asks.

“Of course. Are you?”

“Yeah…” Rafe is silent for a moment, choosing his words carefully, “Do you want to go together?”

He feels you sigh as you lift her head, resting your chin on his chest to look at him.

“Midsummers is only a week away, baby. I want one more week of just being with you without having to worry about anything else, okay? One more week, then you can shout it from the rooftops if you want.”

He already knew your answer before you had even spoken. Several times throughout the past few weeks Rafe had asked you to go public before you had planned. Each time you said the same thing, just a little bit longer. Rafe Cameron was a lot of things, passionate, persistent, possessive. Patient was not one of those things. That days incident had done nothing to calm his already raging impatience. But he kept it down, willing to wait one more week if it meant being able to hold you like this for the rest of his life.

Rafe woke to you getting ready for work. Your hair was still wet from the shower, hanging loosely around your shoulders as you pulled on a bra and underwear. He didn’t move from the bed, too enraptured by you to even think of turning his gaze away. You felt his adoring stare and turned to give him a smile as you covered up the love bites he had left on your neck the night before.

“Good morning, baby,” You said walking over to give him a peck. Rafe had other ideas, wrapping an arm around you to pull you into his lap, deepening the kiss. A giggle escaped your lips as Rafe’s lips trailed down your neck and you gasped as he sucked at a bare spot on your neck. Satisfied with his work, he leaned away and gave you a smirk.

“You missed a spot.”

You crawled off the bed, flipping him the bird as you returned to your make-up bag. You got ready quickly, the walk to the Wreck from the Cameron residence being much longer than from your own home. Rafe had offered numerous times to give you a ride, but you didn’t want to risk it. Plus, you always added, you liked morning walks, helped you get your mind ready for the day ahead. Rafe couldn’t wait for the days when he could join you on your walks, hold your hand as you moved through the morning sun where everyone could see you.

Kissing him quickly, you pulled away before Rafe could deepen the kiss. You gave him a smile as you started toward the door.

“I’ll see you tonight!” You called before sneaking into the hallway. You had perfected the art of sneaking through Tannyhill undetected, and Rafe could hear you humming the Mission Impossible theme as you disappeared down the hall. He grins at your dorkiness before snuggling back into the pillow that still smells like you.

“Rafe!” The man woke to the sound of his name, jumping as his door bursts open and a stern faced Ward Cameron walks in. “Of course, you’re still asleep.”

Rafe reaches for his phone on the bedside table, mumbling, “What time is it?” 3:13p.m.. Shit.

“Dad, I’m so sorry-” Rafe began before his father cut him off.

“Oh, you’re going to be. You were supposed to be at Davidson’s office three hours ago to help me close that deal. My own son blowing off one of my biggest investors, do you know how big of fool that makes me look?”

Rafe rubbed the sleep from his eyes, trying to comprehend his father’s words through his sleepy haze.

“I must have forgotten to set an alarm last night. I’ll call Mr. Davidson, I promise, I’ll fix it.”

“You will do no such thing. You’re done.”

Eyes widening, Rafe jumped from his bed, grabbing his pants laying on the ground and pulling them on.

“Dad, please, I know I fucked up, but I can fix this, just let me-”

“No, Rafe. I will fix this, just like I fix everything you ruin.” Rafe’s mouth slammed shut as his father set his menacing glare on him. “You know, for the past few weeks, I thought you were changing. You’ve been different, working hard, getting serious, acting like the son I always wanted, but now…I know it will always come back to this. You will always find a way to disappoint.”

Ward’s eyes rake over his son’s body, taking in the hickies adorning his body.

“And what was it that had you so distracted, hm? Some whore?”

“Don’t call her that,” The viciousness in Rafe’s words takes Ward aback for a moment, but he recovers quickly.

“What should I call her then? Do you have a girlfriend, Rafe, who I haven’t had the privilege to meet? No, of course not, what respectable woman would date you, a boy with no prospects who mooch off his father’s money. A disappointing little shit, what woman would want that?”

Rafe doesn’t meet his eyes. It is silent for a moment, Ward waiting for some sort of response that never comes. He scoffs, shaking his head.

“What father would want that?” He says finally. The door slams as Ward leaves, making Rafe flinch. He stands in the middle of the floor, frozen for a moment by the ice of his father’s words. When he’s sure his father is long gone, Rafe let’s out a frustrated scream, turning to assault the bed with his fists. His breathing is heavy as he pulls away, pushing his hair out of his face and looking around the room. He moved to his dresser, eyes wild as he pulls open the drawer, tossing clothes around until he finds the small, white powder filled baggy. He holds it up, feeling his heart pound. But the words of his father are staring to be drowned out by your voice in his head. Rafe gives the bag one last glance before shoving it in his pocket.

Kelce and Topper are already pregaming when he shows up at the Topper residence a few hours later.

“There he is!” Topper calls, bottle of vodka in hand, “We were worried you’d be too busy being balls deep in Pogue pussy to hang out with us.”

Kelce makes a face at his friend’s crude words, greeting Rafe with a slap of the hand and a fist bump. Both Topper and Kelce knew about his relationship, it had been hard to keep it from them after that day at the golf course. Respectful of your wishes, however, Rafe refused to tell him exactly which Pogue it was. They had their guesses, always bringing up a new name when he saw them. Topper has suggested you once and Rafe had to hold back his urge to confirm.

“Yeah, not today,” Rafe says simply, taking a seat on the couch beside his friends.

“Man, who knew Rafe Cameron of all people would be pussy-whipped. And by a Pogue of all people? You could do better.” If looks could kill, Topper would have dissolved out of existence right then and there. Passing Rafe the bottle of vodka, Kelce tried to ease the tension.

“We’re just glad your happy, man.” Rafe grimaced, chugging almost half the bottle before passing it to Topper.

He had spent the last few hours stewing. Ward’s words sitting at the back of his mind, taunting him. He’d tried to call you, but knew you cared too much about your job to check your phone during a shift. He’d sat in his room, smoking one of the joints you kept there to calm his nerves, to no avail. When all else failed, he drove down the Wreck, needing to see you. But as he walked towards the door, he saw you through the window. Leaning against the counter, you were laughing at something one of the Pogues had said. They were all there, Kiara behind the counter with you while the rest, including his sister, sat on the other side. You looked so happy at that moment, in a world that he never got to see you in. He turned back to his bike at that moment, not wanting to ruin your day with his shit. So, he went to the place he was used to going after a fight with his dad, place he hadn’t been to in weeks.

Barry was surprised to see him, thinking Rafe had dropped dead somewhere finally. He didn’t stop to chat, already too disappointed in himself for being there at all. He bought a couple grams, doing a line before leaving the disgusting home and making his way to Topper’s.

Rafe looked up at Kelce, who’s smile had faded into a look of concern after watching his friend chug most of the vodka. Rafe gave him an emotionless smile, reaching into his pocket.

“Do you know what would make me really happy? If I didn’t have to do all this alone,” Rafe threw a few bags of coke onto the table, earning him a slap on the shoulder from Topper.

“Fuck yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.”

Topper and Kelce continued talking as they sorted the lines, but Rafe tuned them out. His eyes squeezed shut, all he could see was you. You’re disappointed look the first time you had seen him high, your smiling face from earlier today in the Wreck. Ward’s voiced echoed. What woman would want him?

Rafe’s eyes snapped open and he ripped the rolled up bill from Topper’s

“Dude, what the fuck?”

He leaned down and snorted two lines, relishing the familiar burning feeling. Passing the bill back to Topper, he leaned back on the couch. As the high washed over him, he tried for the first time to push all thoughts of you out of his head.

The kegger was in full swing. You’d been there for a little over an hour now and had yet to see your boyfriend. You’d been concerned by the several missed phone calls from him waiting on your phone at the end of you shift. You’d tried calling back, but no answer. Again, on your way to Kie’s to get ready for the party, no answer. No texts, no nothing. Kiara had noticed your concerned look as you sat on her bed, staring at her phone.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” You replied.

“Is it your secret lover?” Kie wiggled her eyebrows at you and you gave her a half-hearted laugh.

“He isn’t answering. But, it’s whatever, I’ll see him later, I’m sure.” You tried to shrug off the worry nagging you from the back of your mind.

“Wait! Is he going to be there tonight? Do we get to meet him?” Smiling at her excitement, you shook your head.

“Yes, he will be there but no, you don’t get to meet him. Soon, I promise.”

Kiara gave you a look before turning back to her closet, picking out the perfect outfits for both of you.

She continued to check in on you throughout the kegger. Your anxiety was interfering with your ability to have fun, too busy searching for any sign of Rafe and checking your phone constantly. The phone was suddenly yanked from your hands as JJ appeared in front of you, a concerned looking Kie and Pope  behind him.

“You need to calm down. I feel like I need to take a Xanax, you’re anxiety is so bad.”

You tried to grab for your phone, but JJ snuck it into his back pocket, handing you his drink instead.

“Have fun, Y/N! I’m sure lover boy will show up soon!” Pope said, JJ nodding in agreement. You tried to heed their words, but it did little to suffocate your worries. A distraction was in order. You looked out onto the dance floor, noticing Sarah and John B dancing up on each other. You downed the contents of the red cup, barely even tasting it as it slid down your throat.

“You’re right, let’s dance!” You said, dragging your friends to the dance floor beside John B and Sarah. Soon enough, you were moving you hips to beat, laughing and spinning as your friends danced along with you. You suddenly gasped, moving over to JJ as one of your shared favorite songs came on. He took your hand, spinning you around and dancing like an idiot as you both shouted the words. You felt your worries slowly start to fade away, unaware of the jeep that had just pulled up to the edge of the Boneyard.

Rafe sat in the car, frozen as his friends hopped out. Kelce appeared at the passenger window, pulling the door open.

“You coming man?” No. He thought. He didn’t want to face you, didn’t want your to realize who you were actually dating. A disappointment, an asshole, and addict. But Topper wasn’t having it. He took Rafe by the arm and pulling him out of the car.

“C’mon, let’s go find your little Pogue.” Rafe felt his feet move, his heart pounding as they got closer and closer to the excitement of the party. The music was blasting and he recognized it immediately. It was one of your favorites. He pictured you in the passenger seat of his truck, dancing wildly in your seat as you yelled the words. He knew exactly where you would be.Like a magnet, his gaze was pulled to you on the dance floor and all his worries and self-hatred of the day faded.

Instead, he was filled with white-hot rage, burning through him like a wild fire in the summer. You were next to Maybank. He watched you dancing, laughing, being happy with someone who wasn’t him. He heard his heart pounding in his ears as JJ grabbed your hand, twirling you around. His feet moved on their own, marching down the sand and straight toward you. All he saw was red as he threw the punch, fist connecting with Maybank’s cheek and sending him to the ground. There was yelling and gasps from the crown as Rafe climbed on top of the blonde, gripping his shirt and landing punch after punch. His knuckles were on fire and wet from the blood covering JJ’s face. He couldn’t stop. He heard you scream his name. He couldn’t stop. He felt something crack beneath his fist. He couldn’t stop. Someone grabbed him, spoke to him, he couldn’t hear.

You were in front of him suddenly, eyes full of tears and fury. Your mouth was moving, but he couldn’t comprehend what you were saying. All he knew was you were yelling, before turning back to JJ, who was being helped up by John B and Pope. Your hands cupped his barely conscious face that was more black and blue and red than anything else. He watched you say something to him, watched John B and Pope carry him away, watched you return to him. You didn’t touch him, just started walking to the edge of the beach. He followed. He had to.

It was almost completely silent where you were, you had walked so far. All he could hear was the crashing of the waves (or was that the pounding in his head?) and your uneven breathing. He stood in front of you, staring at the sand at your feet. He was startled by your soft touch as you took his hand, holding his wrist to examine his knuckles, which were red and bloody. Just as soon as it had come, your touch was gone, his hand dropping to his side limply.

“What the fuck, Rafe?” Your voice wavered, watery and dejected. The anger had not yet disappeared from his veins, clouding his mind as he spoke.

“He was touching you. I told you, Maybank needs to learn not to touch what’s not his.”

“And I told you to trust me! I told you to leave my friends alone! You almost killed him, Rafe.”

Silence. He’d never heard you yell before, never heard anger come from your angelic lips. But what he noticed the most was the fear. Fear of him, of what he is. He couldn’t speak, but you wouldn’t allow him to stay silent.

“Rafe, fucking look at me!” You took his head in your hands, tilting it up to meet your eyes. Rafe wanted to crumble at the look on your face. It wasn’t just disappointment that swam in your eyes. Sadness, fear, anger, they all were there too, but one was more prominent than the others. Disgust.

“You’re high,” You stated, releasing his head and taking a few steps back.

“What did you want me to do, huh? I couldn’t even talk to you about it! I couldn’t walk up to you and say ‘excuse me, can I cut in? I want to dance with my girlfriend.’ No, because you want to hide. This wouldn’t have happened if you had just come with me!”

“So this is my fault now? I didn’t shove the cocaine up your nose and make you beat the living hell out of my friend!”

“Maybe not, but if you had just listened to me, we wouldn’t be here! Maybe, if you weren’t friends with those dirty fucking Pogues, we would be happy!” Your glare sent a knife right through his heart.

“Those dirty Pogues are my family! And if you’re calling them dirty, then you’re calling me dirty too. Just because you deemed me worthy of your Kookness doesn’t change who I am, where I come from!”  You sniffle, looking down at your feet.

“But that’s just it, isn’t it? That’s what it comes down to, Kooks and Pogues. Maybe this is my fault, maybe if I wasn’t so scared of losing you, of losing my friends because of some stupid rivalry, it would be okay. But that’s not how it works here. You will always be a Kook and I will always be a Pogue and there will always be some impossible gap between us that, not matter how hard he try to cross it, we will always fall to the bottom.

“And I hate it, because I…I love you, Rafe.” His heart breaks at the way your voice quivers around those words he had been so desperate to hear. He wants to reach out to you, hold you, kiss you, scream at you, anything. But he’s frozen to the spot, a lump forming in his throat as you move closer to him.

“I love you, but I don’t think we can do this. There will always be something.”

You will always find a way to disappoint. They weren’t your words, no, but they were close. There would always be something for Rafe to fuck up.

“I love you, Rafe. I’m sorry…” You trailed off, hand lingering on his bicep before disappearing, walking back towards the party and away from him.

Rafe stood there, still frozen. Some part of him was shouting at him, begging him to go after you. Don’t lose her, you can’t lose her! But the other part of him, the part that screamed louder, kept him where he was, far away from you and your heart that he had broken.

Rafe Cameron was a lot of things. Rafe Cameron was an asshole. Rafe Cameron was a disappointment. Rafe Cameron was an idiot. Rafe Cameron was an addict. But, most of all, Rafe Cameron was loved, and he had fucked it all up.  

taglist: @teenwaywardasgardian @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @obxmxybxnk @butgilinsky @juliarose21 @bluesiderudy @ilovejjmaybank @diverrdown @diverdcwn @drewsephsmiles @https-luna @broken-jj @nqbmf @ityagirljay @downbytheouterbanks

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fic #obx fic #my writing

[kamuirui]

Kite x Reader (Japan Sinks 2020)

That’s a (W)Rap.

~~~

Warning for bad rapping and rhymes LMAO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Your boyfriend urges you to express yourself too. Maybe it was a bad idea.

~~~

“Don’t you even think about it.” You growled at your boyfriend. Kite only smiles at you, nodding to the music.

“Come on, babe! You gotta let loose! Even the old mans getting down to these sick beats.”

You looked down to see Onodera keeping time by blinking to the beat. When you locked eyes, he coded something for you.

“I will punch your boyfriend for mocking me.”

You chuckled at that before closing your eyes. Should you? You’ve been holding everything in for so long...But then again, whose gonna judge you? You’re on what was probably the tiniest chunk of rock in what used to be Japan with zero supplies whatsoever. Bad rhymes were the least of your problems now.

You sighed.

“I’m the reason why you’re here” You started.

“How do I make it more clear

Everything bad that’s happened is worse than we could fear

Can’t you see, aye?

It’s me, aye?

This was just supposed to be A

Vacation for the two of us, but instead it’s become D-Day

We’re supposed to get our shit together

Kickstart our forever

But now it seems like the signs point to us being a for-never

It’s my fault you got these scars

Look up at the stars

Maybe this is karmic punishment for thinking that the world was ours

If we stayed in Estonia, this never would have happened

But now we’re sitting on a deserted rock waiting and (w)rappin,

up our lives

look up to the skies

just waiting til the next one dies

with no one else around us to even hear our pitiful cries

I wonder if we never met,

Would things be in stone and set,

That you’d be safe, away from this place,

Maybe after this you need some space.”

Out of breath, you opened your eyes to the very still Kite, his eyes wide and boring into your soul.

“...Do you really feel that way, babe?”

You looked down into your lap. Yes, this is how you felt. All of it. If it wasn’t for you, Kite would still be in Estonia with a full life ahead of him. But now, you didn’t know if you’d make it to tomorrow together.

“Yeah...” You pressed your hands to your eyes, leaning your elbows down on your knees. “If I hadn’t suggested we go to Japan, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“It’s not your fault— you wanted to introduce me to your mom.”

“Like that matters— Kite, she died before you even got to meet her! The house collapsed...”

You felt an arm, his arm, pulling you into him, soft lips landing in your hair. You could still smell his cologne. Or maybe that was just the smell of Kite.

“I don’t blame you, (Y/n).” He said into your hair. You snuggled into his side. “I won’t ever blame you. This is just one of those terrible coincidences that happens in our lives. And if anything, this will only make us stronger.”

You sniffed and looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, just like how we first met! When you spilled hot coffee on my laptop at that cafe.”

“Ugh, that was a total accident.”

“Yeah, but who knew it would’ve happened that day? And who knew that would also be the day I met the love of my life? See— terrible coincidences with beautiful outcomes. Now imagine telling our kids how we survived the sinking of Japan!”

Laughing, you wiped your nose on your sleeve. “Yeah, that would be pretty cool.”

“We’d be the coolest parents in the world, (Y/n)!”

You didn’t know whether or not there were some truth to his words. All you know is that they gave you this warm, fuzzy feeling. Reality and pessimism be damned, Kite made you feel on top of the world.

Er- were you technically on top of Japan? The country did sink...

Leaning up you pressed a kiss to Kites lips, which he quickly reciprocated. Deeply.

“Thanks, Kite.” You said, breathless. Kite smiled down at you. Not his cocky smirk, but that warm, fuzzy smile reserved for you and only you.

“No problem, babe.”

The others already started setting up camp to give you two some privacy. It wasn’t until you looked down you remembered that Onodera was still there. (Not by choice.)

“Oh— I’m so sorry you had to see that!! We totally forgot!”

“No worries.” He coded. What he said next made you both feel even worse. “I’m not going anywhere so just pretend I’m not even here.”

___________

No complaints about the rap, I WARNED YALL!

Also just imagine your family with Kite 🥺 I feel like he’d wanna adopt around the world 😔❤️

#Japan sinks 2020 kite #kite Japan sinks 2020 #Japan sinks 2020 kite x reader #kite x reader #kite x reader Japan sinks 2020

[xyliane]

AUgust 7: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 12 YEAR OLD

PROMPT THE SEVENTH: CHILDHOOD FRIENDS wait how can you childhood friends au killugon, I asked myself, forgetting that I had a whole-ass idea in my drafts already. this one’s a proper fic, too (minus editing cuz l o l it’s an AU writing challenge, not editing challenge). T, aged-up killugon, modern day au. ft ambiguous descriptions of social media, alluka, kalluto, and leorio in killua’s corner, and zushi and spinner in gon’s, brief discussion of getting plastered and dealing with a hangover. 5000 words.

0o0o0o0o0

The first sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when Killua wakes up with a hangover.

This does not happen. Killua can count on one hand the number of times he’s gotten so drunk he’s had a hangover, and most of them are the fault of his little siblings. Little siblings who are now living together, whose couch he is currently painfully existing upon, half too hot and his toes way too cold. And the couch is too soft, an old secondhand thing he’d helped Alluka grapple up the stairs months ago after they found it outside an old dorm. He makes a notch in his very sore brain to blame the current situation on them. Kalluto might be kind enough to let a drunk big brother crash with them, but Alluka has a devious streak a mile wide.

Yeah. This is definitely their fault.

One eye slowly creaks open, surveying his surroundings through blurry vision. Nothing out of the ordinary here. He’s in the pajamas he’s left with Alluka forever ago, curled up under an old blanket he gave her for Nanika’s birthday. It’s covered in the Matrix code, all green letters on black wool. It barely covers him from chest to knees, which explains the cold toes.

Sunlight flickers through the curtains, cheerful and bright, and Killua pulls the blanket over his face. He’ll take cold toes over being blinded by his headache.

The second sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when a noise like a chainsaw burrowing through a marshmallow erupts from his phone buzzing on the coffee table, just barely out of reach.

Killua attempts to bury himself under the blanket. He’s not dealing with work today.

And then he remembers: He doesn’t have work. Work can’t bother him today. Not just because it’s a weekend—work never respected the sanctity of weekends, no matter that he was at least partially in charge and used to have a fancy degree hanging on his wall. He doesn’t have work anymore. Killua quit.

Which, well. That explains the hangover.

He’s still blaming his siblings.

His phone buzzes loud enough to break the sound barrier, and Killua decides, fuck it. He doesn’t have anything to lose. If it’s the-place-formerly-known-as-work, he can delete everything. If it’s Mom or Father, he can definitely delete everything. And maybe it’s a friendly person, congratulating him on giving up a job that for anyone else would have been an absolute money-making dream. He’ll delete those too.

It takes a few tries to unlock his phone, and it unfortunately involves opening his eyes, squinting against the glaring light of the screen. But once he does, he frowns. Maybe he’s seeing double. Or a hundredfold. Because he should not have this many notifications.

awwww cute, i hope u 2 find each other! the top one says. It has several hundred likes. Why is it in his notifications?

Scrolling down reveals that it’s not an anomaly.

wtf man how can you find a TWELVE YEAR OLD from FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

Me and my mom went on a cruise around there once, it was really pretty!

this is so sweet T__T maybe this is him?

And then another hundred photos of brown-skinned men with varying degrees of shirt-wearing, all black haired and most of them buff in very appealing ways and all of them beaming at Killua.

“What the fuck,” Killua croaks as he scrolls through all of the images and messages. Maybe this is a dream. A really weird, hangover-induced dream about how little of a social life he has, that his phone is possessed by someone else’s. A warning of sorts, that he should never have installed any social media on his phone ever, not even for hookups.

The reason for all the notifications lies at the top of his own page. Just a few sentences, all-caps, with an image of an old crinkled photo of two boys on a tropical beach, grinning at the camera. Killua sees himself, white curly hair flying in all directions and pale skin sunburned and ruddy with the briny wind, happier than Killua can ever remember being. Next to him, one arm slung around his shoulders and the other holding a bucket full of seashells, is a brown-skinned boy with freckles dancing across his nose and the tops of his shoulders, brown eyes wide and laughing and black hair thick and spiked from some mix of wind and seawater and natural gravity defiance.

He didn’t know he still had this photo. It had followed him from childhood all the way through grad school, a carefully guarded keepsake hidden away from the watchful eyes of his parents and Illumi, before ending up in a box or a bag at some point in the last few years. Part of Killua thought he’d lost it in the move. He barely remembers much about being twelve, about the cruise he’d been forcibly dragged on. But he remembers…

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY? yells the caption. WE WERE BEST FRIENDS FOR A WEEK WHEN I GOT DRAGGED ON A CRUISE BY MY ASSHOLE PARENTS. HE WAS 12 ON WHALE ISLAND 15 YEARS AGO. IF FOUND, DM IMMEDIATELY.

“Gon,” Killua breathes.

He gathers himself, wrapping the blanket around his head in a feeble protection against the morning, and lurches over to Alluka’s room.

He gets to bang on her door three times, confused spite winning out over his own pounding headache, before Kalluto appears out of their room, blinking blearily at Killua. “Shut up.”

Killua kicks Alluka’s door for good measure, and brandishes his phone in front of him like a weapon. “Not until you explain what the hell this is doing on the internet.”

Kalluto pales, then flushes, then pales again. “Oh. Um.”

At that, Alluka creaks her door open, guilty blue eyes far too awake for how close to noon it is. Killua kind of wants to kill her on principle alone. If he has to be hungover, so does everyone else.

“Explain,” he grinds out through his teeth.

The third and final sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when Alluka puts on her most winning smile, the kind she uses to ward off angry customers and idiotic faux-academics on the internet. “Congratulations, Brother! I might have made you go viral.”

Killua throws his phone at her.

—————

Today’s going to be a good day, Gon decides. He’s been in the forests of East Gorteau for the better part of a month, which normally isn’t so bad. But this group has been…They’re nice enough, when Gon’s not spending half of his time explaining that, no, that species of plant does not make a good stew, and no, that species is endangered please don’t hunt them, and yes Gon is sure he doesn’t date his clients even after the hike, and no the reason the tent fell over again is because it wasn’t properly set up in the first place—

All of Aunt Mito’s complaints about tourists on Whale Island make so much more sense, now that Gon’s leading backwoods hikes.

But last night had been fun! Spinner had met the group at a pre-set campsite not far from their pickup so Gon hadn’t had to work the whole night, and he could relax with his friend over good food, more alcohol than he probably should have drunk, and not having to explain to Mrs. Yuldvin the difference between marijuana, buckeye, and poison oak again. Spinner had even taken care of the fire, although she had left him to rescue the Podomos siblings from the ruins of their tent with nothing more than a smirk and a wave. Nevertheless, Gon smiled through his headache all morning, because soon he’ll be home, and he can sleep.

Zushi is waiting in the parking lot once Gon’s done packing up the last of the gear and saying goodbye to Spinner, jeep idling while he flicks through his phone, thick eyebrows drawn together in increasing concern. He doesn’t even look up until Gon drops his pack onto the hood of the car, and he jolts so badly in surprise that he tosses his phone in the air.

“Are you okay?” Gon asks, and tries to peek at the screen.

Zushi pulls it up and away, a frantic look in his eyes. It won’t really keep Gon from seeing what’s happening, not if he wants to, but Zushi’s height is enough of a deterrent to make it hard. “You were gone way too long,” he says.

Gon leans against the hot metal of Zushi’s car. It wasn’t an unusual length for a trip, not really—this backcountry needs the length to be able to see and understand the region. Not to mention the Small Billed Swan preservation society keeping the whole place locked down except to authorized guides and trekkers. Zushi knows this. They’ve been roommates long enough that this isn’t even the longest time Gon’s been gone.

“You knew I’d be gone til today,” Gon says.

“Yeah, but…” Zushi’s eyebrows descend even further, scrunching his whole face up in worry. “You haven’t checked your phone, right?”

“No?” Even if he did have cell service, Gon never brings his own phone. He borrows Kite’s satellite phone, because it is more reliable and doesn’t need to be charged constantly.

“Okay. Well.” Zushi takes a deep breath, then another, one of Wing’s old meditation techniques. Despite his exhaustion and single-minded determination to sink into a real bed and sleep for a week, Gon feels a minor pang of worry. On breath three, he unlocks his phone and turns it towards Gon. “You’re a meme.”

On Zushi’s screen is a photo Gon can’t ever forget about. Backed by Whale Island’s sunbleached white beaches and the humid brilliant colors of summer, Gon sees himself—twelve, smiling from ear to ear, hair a mess from swimming and his shirt practically covered in sand from digging up all the seashells in his bucket. He’s got an arm around another boy, who’s caught mid-laugh so his blue eyes burn the same color as the sky, white curls even messier than Gon’s hair. They look like they’ve known each other their whole lives, like they’d still be best friends even if they haven’t seen or spoken to each other since the photo was taken.

Gon hopes Killua thinks so, too.

He cradles the phone in his hand, carefully zooming in on their faces and the errant crinkles visible through the photo. His own faded copy is in a drawer, having survived a whole trip around the world and countless apartment jumps. This one looks just as well cared for, in its own way.

“That…is you, right?” Zushi asks carefully. “Because Wing was asking, and half of Kite’s guide company is yelling about it on your social media page that you don’t even use, and now people are messaging me, and they’re saying the weirdest things, and the post is from last week, so—”

“It’s Killua,” Gon says. A smile spreads across his face, a mirror to the one he’d had when he was twelve. “That’s Killua!”

“Who?” the others ask, but Gon isn’t listening.

He spins, frantically searching his pockets for his phone. “Spinner, can you do me a favor?”

She narrows her eyes suspiciously.

Gon knew today was going to be a good day.

—————

It’s been a week, and Killua has quit all social media forever.

The steady buzz of his phone informing the apartment of his notifications is not his problem. Alluka’s the one who decided to hack into his phone and post something to his old public account, the one he mostly uses for photos of cats and complaining about terrible business precedents. He hasn’t posted much since school, and if anything, it should have simply vanished into the void of the internet.

He finds the culprit fairly quickly, and for once it’s not his sister’s moderate but dedicated video following.

“Old man, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Leorio lounges in Alluka and Kalluto’s living room, freshly out of his scrubs and looking pleased as all hell. “I just reblogged a fun post from my friend,” he says somewhat defensively. “You were a cute kid, Killua. What happened?”

Killua feels a growl creep up his throat. “You can’t just do that,” he snaps.

“It’s not my fault the people like my well-coiffed but rugged appearance and dedication to social justice in medicine.”

“You have 500,000 followers because you made a joke post two years ago, and some authorized user reblogged it five times. It has nothing to do with your ugly mug.” If Killua squints and plugs his ears, he can even see why people think Leorio’s attractive or whatever: tan skin, lean but strong as hell, actually takes care of his hair, not to mention a damn good doctor with one of the most prestigious institutions in Yorknew who spends most of his free time running health clinics in impoverished neighborhoods. That’s all swell. But then he starts talking, and Killua has no idea where the off button is.

Leorio spreads a hand out, gesturing vaguely with the glass of iced tea that he’d helped himself to out of Alluka’s stash. “It has everything to do with my ‘ugly mug,’” he says. “Which is why I used my powers for good and spread your post. Don’t you want to find him?”

“Not like this!”

“You were not going to find him at all,” Kalluto’s quiet voice pipes up from the kitchen. They have night classes tonight, but Killua has a feeling that even if they were supposed to be attending their Yorknew Uni lectures, they would still be here making Killua’s life worse. “You’ve had that picture for years, and you did not even try to look.”

Leorio gives him a judgmental look over the tops of his stupid tiny glasses. “You haven’t?”

It would be a losing game to bury his burning face in one of the throw pillows, so Killua does his best to cross his arms over his chest and glower instead. “I…tried.”

“And?”

“I don’t even know his last name!” Killua splutters. “I didn’t have his number or where he was from, other than his mom worked on the ship. And that cruiseline went bankrupt and liquidated everything before I could get out of the house, so I couldn’t even look that up.”

Kalluto crosses over from the kitchen and perches like a sweatshirt-wearing crow on the coffee table, their blue eyes carefully neutral under straight black bangs. “Alluka and Nanika would have helped. Or even Milluki, if you had explained the situation.”

“I was eighteen, okay? I just left home, and our parents were still being…shit, themselves, I guess.” He hadn’t even considered asking for help. Then again, he’d tried the moment he could, that first summer of undergrad where he didn’t have to come home and Illumi couldn’t spend half his time breathing down the back of Killua’s neck. He had a general idea of where they’d gone, maps of islands scurried away in the closet with the old photo and a bag full of seashells Gon had given him as a going-away present.

They’d been friends for a week, in the whirlwind way that only kids can be. The cruise ship was massive, and Killua’s parents were in meetings half the time and playing nice with the other rich people on board the other half. Killua had been bored witless, and Gon was everything he couldn’t have possibly imagined: encouraging Killua to go exploring, to stealing food from the kitchens, making him help clean up the decks, playing cards with the deckhands. Sneaking off the boat to visit an island without Killua’s parents while the ship was docked, scrambling over the burning hot sands and dashing through the jungle, diving into the waves fully clothed and competing to see who could find the biggest prettiest shells. Gon’d been Killua’s first friend, his first crush, his first…a lot of firsts.

Then the cruise had ended, and Killua forgot to give Gon his phone number. His address. Anything. They’d been so swept up in being friends, being best friends, it had seemed impossible that they would never see each other again.

Does Gon even remember? Why should he, when Killua hasn’t contacted him? Would they even be friends anymore?

Maybe he hadn’t searched hard enough. But part of Killua thinks he shouldn’t have tried at all.

The phone buzzes loudly, and Killua tries not to flinch.

“Hey, Killua. It’s okay.” Leorio leans forward, hands clasped over his too-long limbs and expression gentle. “If you want me to delete it, I will. Not sure I can help with the viral part of things, except maybe go through your messages and delete the gross ones, or at least find the weirdest ones for you to laugh at later.”

“Alluka and I have been doing this already,” Kalluto says, their posture a little too protective for Killua’s raw nerves at this point. “But perhaps you have some suggestions for what to do next, Dr. Paladiknight?”

Leorio smiles sympathetically. “Don’t read the comments? That said, most of your comments have been much more positive than anything I usually post. The masses seem to be genuinely rooting for you, kid.”

“I have only had to delete a dozen lewd messages for you this morning,” Kalluto adds, not mentioning the hundred or so that Alluka took care of yesterday.

Killua’s traitorous phone buzzes again, and that’s it. Time to bury himself in a pillow. Killua flops onto the couch, narrowly missing Leorio, and does his best to burrow into the cushions. “That’s just great,” he says into the fabric.

A comforting hand rubs against his hair, messing up the curls for a moment, and Killua refuses to admit that it’s nice, that he has friends like Leorio who even bother to care. “It could be worse. You could be dealing with this while still working a soul-sucking job making more money than most of us will see in our lifetimes, in exchange for giving up all of your morals.”

Killua groans loudly. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“You’re gonna need to do something, Killua! And hey, I might be able to set something up with my—”

“I already told you, no.”

“But it’s what you’re good at. And you wouldn’t be fucking people over to do it.”

“No.”

“Just listen for one—”

Killua lifts his head enough to glare as murderously as he can at Leorio. It must work at least a little, because the doctor shuts up.

Meanwhile, Kalluto is scrolling through Killua’s phone, poking at the screen occasionally. In the awkward silence, their sharp gasp is loud enough to shatter a window, and they hurriedly shove the phone in the pocket of their oversized sweatshirt.

Leorio raises an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

Kalluto squeezes their eyes shut for a moment, then carefully places the phone on the coffee table, screen pointed innocently at the ceiling. “You will want to look at this one, Brother.”

“This isn’t another erotic sandcastle is it?” he says.

Kalluto shakes their head, and Killua’s stomach lurches up his throat. Alluka has been the one excited about this whole thing. But Kalluto, as reserved as they are, is a massive romantic. The whole thing might be Alluka’s fault, but Killua knows it’s Kalluto who almost lets themselves believe it’ll work. Despite all of the false positives, the people who send messages that don’t sound right or photos that have the wrong smile.

Killua doesn’t want to hope. It can’t possibly be Gon. But his hands shake nonetheless as he unlocks his phone and finds a new message in his DMs.

It’s not from Gon.

Instead, someone with the icon of a small-billed white swan in a soft small-billed hat and a handle of @flymypretties has sent a photo of a brown-skinned man with spiky black hair absolutely covered in dirt and grime. He’s waving at the camera, a backpacking bag propped against his shoulder and the widest smile Killua has ever seen beaming straight through the screen and into his chest. Next to him and half out of frame, a tall tanned man with massive black eyebrows and a tank top showing off an impressive amount of muscle has his head in his hands. Killua feels a sharp stab of sympathy, somewhere buried beneath the racing of his heart.

look im sorry about this but this idiot can’t find his phone and we r kind of in the middle of nowhere so reception’s shit. he wants to know if you admit he found the biggest seashell on the beach, whatever that means.

For a long, long moment—seconds? minutes maybe?—Killua can do nothing but stare at the screen of his phone. Leorio and Kalluto both look at him with a mix of curiosity and worry, Kalluto starting to slowly reach for the phone.

In a completely childish protective moment, Killua grabs it against his chest, like the image will vanish if he doesn’t keep it close.

“Is it…?” Leorio asks.

Killua swallows heavily, trying to think around the roaring of the ocean in his ears. “I think so,” he says faintly.

Kalluto’s eyes widen, and they spin on their heels towards their room. “I’m calling Alluka!”

—————

“Has he responded?”

“No!”

“…what about now?”

Spinner throws her hands in the air so violently that her hat falls off. “For god’s sake, Gon, it’s been an hour, you don’t even have your phone, and you still need to go home.”

Gon huffs and pouts. They’re still in the parking lot over an hour after the rest of the trekking group has left, and all the exhaustion that had settled into Gon’s body from the tour has been turned into a jittery energy that keeps trying to leak out from under his skin. He wants to go home immediately and dig out his copy of the photo, rub out the old fingerprints he and Aunt Mito have left on it over the years. He wants to find his phone and message Killua directly. He wants to wait right here until Killua responds, no matter how long it takes.

He knows it’s childish, to be this selfish. Spinner has work to do, work that she already put on hold to help with the last day of the tour. Kite probably will want to know what’s happening, or at least why his lead guide and his chief guide organizer have been stuck in a parking lot. And Gon can practically feel Zushi’s obsessive scrolling through social media, frantically trying to navigate Gon’s feeds without actually having access.

Gon needs to find his phone.

“Spinner, what if—”

It’s not that Spinner’s a large woman. Out of the three people standing in the parking lot, Zushi’s far and away the strongest, even if he is about as threatening as a large, muscular teddy bear. And Gon has only packed on weight and muscle over his years of backpacking around the wilderness, no matter that he’s not super tall. But Spinner goes for longer, harder treks on her own than anyone but Kite, and she packs in her own climbing gear on top of that, so when she tosses Gon into the back of Zushi’s jeep, he flies.

“Zushi,” she says in a low exhausted snarl, and he jumps right off the hood of his car. Gon probably would have felt bad for him, if everything wasn’t spinning. “If you do not take your roommate home, I am not responsible for the consequences.”

“What if you hear back?” Gon groans around the aches in his side.

Spinner rolls her eyes, and Gon knows she’s just tired. “I’ll let you know.”

“But what if my phone’s gone? What will I do if someone stole it, or if I can’t—”

“I’ll call you go home already,” she says, and slams the door shut on his face.

For a long moment, the only sound is Spinner storming away, boots thudding heavily in the dirt until her car door slams.

The jeep shifts slightly as Zushi quietly lowers himself into the driver’s seat and puts the key into the ignition. Gon wants to tell him to follow Spinner, so she can yell out the window as soon as Killua gets back to her. But Zushi looks about ready to bolt. So Gon slumps back in the seat, the rumble of tires crunching through gravel making his already jittery nerves shake.

A small voice that sounds a lot like Kite tells Gon that it’s better to wait, that it will be easier to have a conversation and determine if this really is Killua after a rest and a shower.

Gon doesn’t want that, though. He wants…

It’s been a long time since he was on Whale Island. Longer still since he saw Killua. That doesn’t mean he stopped thinking about either of them, during the quiet moments out under the stars. They’re part of him, like his lungs are part of him—essential and irreplaceable, buried so far inside that removing them would change him irrevocably.

What is Killua like now? Is Gon just as important to him as he is to Gon? He has to be. Right?

They make it home without saying anything else. Gon floats in and out between bone-deep weariness and electric sparks of nervous joy, and Zushi flinches every time Gon jolts himself from one to the other.

“Hey, are you…I mean, maybe not okay, but.”

Gon lifts his chin up sharply at the sound of his roommate’s voice, and notices the familiar apartment complex in front of him. Oh, they’re home. “I’m good,” he says, and grins.

“Sure,” Zushi says like he doesn’t believe Gon.

A dubious silence stretches out between them as they gather the rest of the gear, dropping it in a heap on the sidewalk. “You were kids, though,” Zushi finally says.

Gon shrugs and slams the door shut hard enough to make the vehicle rattle. “I didn’t forget. So I don’t think Killua would, either.”

Zushi’s eyebrows wrinkle on each other, like they can’t decide whether to go up or down and settle on some combination of the two. “What if he did?”

“He didn’t,” Gon says, more sure of that than anything else in his life.

Zushi’s eyebrows dance again, but he doesn’t say anything else.

Between Gon’s camping gear and Zushi’s leftover practice pads, it takes longer than Gon’s excitement can take to get everything settled enough to look for his phone. Well, Gon would have liked to look for his phone, but Zushi makes a pointed look at the shower. There are only so many places the phone could be in the whole apartment, after all.

Gon’s just drying off when Zushi knocks on the door. “I found it, but it’s dead,” he says, voice muffled.

“Then charge it!” Gon shouts. After a moment, he adds, quieter and less snappishly, “Please?”

A faint laugh echoes through the apartment.

By the time Gon can make himself a very early dinner of whatever he could grab out of the cabinets without thinking, the phone is charged enough to turn on. Sure enough, there are a wide variety of messages, mostly from Kite’s groupchat asking about the viral post. A few are from former hikers, people who Gon liked enough to share contact info, offering to see if they can get in touch. There are even a few—okay, how did they get ahold of his old social media page? It’s practically defunct, since Gon’s never had a phone capable of more than the most basic apps. And those are…

It’s flattering in a way, but Gon’s not really into that. Or them.

Zushi catches sight of the grimace, and takes one look over Gon’s shoulder before turning beet red.

By the time he’s gone through and deleted the vast majority of what had been filling up his phone, there’s still no message from Spinner, and nothing at all from Killua. Gon sighs and lies his head down on the table with a heavy thunk.

The other chair scrapes heavily along the tiles as Zushi sits, a mug of coffee in his hands. “What will you do? When he messages you, I mean.”

When, not if, an unexpected certainty coming from Zushi. Gon has the best friends in the world. “Talk to him,” Gon says. “It’s only been fifteen years, right? We promised we’d be friends forever.”

“A lot changes in fifteen years,” Zushi says.

“Not that.”

“Then why didn’t you look for him?”

Gon frowns. It had taken a long, long time, but Aunt Mito managed to track down the cruise captain the last time they were in port, tracing through old charters until the right names came up. But when she’d called them up, she’d been met with stonewall after stonewall, pleasant-sounding voices insisting in no uncertain terms that she would never speak with a member of Killua’s family, let alone let her son speak to his friend. By the time Gon was old enough to look himself, he found nothing but a mansion full of people whose eyes matched Killua’s in everything except for his warmth, who refused to even acknowledge Gon’s presence except to throw him out.

That had been years ago. It’s not that Gon stopped looking. Not exactly.

“I did, but I—” Gon starts to say, but his phone buzzes violently against the table, and they both jump out of their chairs.

“Is it—?” Zushi asks, breath in his throat.

It’s a message from Spinner. you owe me big time, kid, she says, followed by a phone number.

Gon rips his phone off the cable, a wide smile spreading across his face. “It is,” he says, and dials Killua.

—————

bzz bzz—

bzz bzz—

bzz b—

“H-hello?”

“Killua! Hi!”

“…Gon? Is that—It’s really…?”

“Killua, it’s you, I thought I’d never—”

“I did find the biggest seashell, and you know it.”

A breath, sharp and astonished. “The blue and white one, with green lines.”

“I found it, and I gave it to you.”

“I still have it.”

A snort of amusement, slightly damp. “I know. You promised you’d keep it.”

“I did. And I promised—”

“That we’d be friends forever.”

A laugh, delighted and teary at the same time. “I knew you remembered.”

“I did promise you that I would.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

(AUgust prompts)

#AUgust2020 #hunter x hunter #hxh #killugon #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #alluka zoldyck #kalluto zoldyck #leorio paladiknight #zushi #spinner clow #gone viral au #fluff #and then killua visits gon and they get together and everything is lovely and killua finally takes leorio up on his offer the end #thanks tumblr for fucking up my tag for this whole challenge #my writing