#we were talking about my knife again for context

[cillian-gets-me-wetter]

silver springs - carmy berzatto x fem!reader

a/n: this is a part 2 for casual (read before continuing this for context). the live performance of this song changed my life tbh. as a little gift, a third and final part is in the works so stay tuneddd 👀

warnings: angst, slow burn, cameos from syd and richie (we love them in this household), mentions of claire (again, my apologies, ms. girl)

summary: after you found out that carmy had a girlfriend, claire. tension between you two grew intense as you rarely talked to him unless it involved work while he tried everything possible in order to talk you about what happened. it wasn’t until a former classmate of yours came in and asked you out while working, making him come to a sudden realization.

disclaimer: i do not own characters mentioned in this story. this is for fictional purposes only. do not copy or claim my work as your own. comments, reblogs and constructive feedback are appreciated!!

here are resources for supporting palestine and gaza 🇵🇸

masterlist

you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you

ever since you found out that carmy was dating claire, the past three months felt as if it had been a year. the tension in the restaurant was so thick that you can slice through it with a knife. while carmy was trying everything to get you to speak to him, you did your best to avoid him except if it involved work. as much as you thought about putting in your two weeks, you simply couldn’t afford to.

you look into the mirror in your locker as you inspect your hair, being pinned back by a red claw clip. the hair accessory coordinated with the outfit you decided to wear today, which consists of a cropped red cardigan, black dress and doc martens. you reach for the makeup bag you keep so you can freshen up before your shift, unzipping it and pulling out a tube of clear mascara.

you twist the wand out of the tube and apply a layer of mascara on your upper eyelashes when syd walks in the locker room, just arriving for her shift. you both smiled at each other as you thanked god that it wasn’t carmy who walked through the door. she walked up to her locker next to yours, “hey, how did your night go?”

you shrugged as you applied a layer to your lower lashes, “not too bad, just watched a couple of episodes of sex and the city, took an edible then went to bed.” she laughed, “you seriously like that show?” she set her belongings in the locker as she left out her apron and head scarf, placing them both on the bench next to where you both stood.

you joked, “whenever anything goes wrong in my life, i do ask myself about what would carrie bradshaw do?” she rolled her eyes playfully as she laughed. she styled her hair with the scarf as you moved to putting on a soft pink lip liner over the outline of your lips. as syd put on her apron, she asked, “hey, can you tie the back for me?”

you nodded, setting your lip liner down and helping her tie the back strings of the apron in a comfortable, secure knot. as soon as you finished, carmy walked into the room, him and syd greeted each other while you and him made awkward eye contact but not saying anything to each other. syd sensed the unease in the room, deciding to go in the kitchen and see what they needed help with preparing for the day ahead.

this left you and carmy alone for the first time in a while. you felt his eyes on you as you continued putting on a light pink lipstick. he took off his jacket and placed in his locker as he finally decided to make another attempt at breaking the ice. “i think we need to talk.” you avoided him as if he was a ghost trying to make contact with a human.

he let out a sigh, growing more frustrated at the silent treatment you were giving him. he thought things between you both was supposed to be casual, no strings attached. while he understood why you were hurt, he also felt that he didn’t do anything wrong by not telling you about claire. he asked, “are you seriously going to ignore me?”

you pushed your bag back into the locker, slamming the door. the impact of the metal door made carmy startled, not being used to seeing you this angry. you snapped, “there is absolutely nothing we need to discuss.” as you try to walk out of the room, he gently grabs your wrist, turning you around to face him. “please, just talk to me.”

you groaned, “i don’t want to fucking talk to you, carm. just leave me alone.” you pulled out of his grasp and walked out of the room as he watched you leave. he felt this physical pain in his chest, sitting down on the bench as he ran his hand through his hair. he couldn’t help but wonder what went wrong and how could he make things right with you.

a couple of hours into your shift, the lunch rush was starting up as the restaurant was filled with people and you were on your feet, doing your best to keep with your section. you bring a drink to one of your tables, being one man who looked like they were in their early twenties. you placed his drink on the table and asked, “is there anything else you need?”

he shook his head and spoke, “no, i’m good. do you mind if i ask you a question though?” you politely nodded, “yeah, sure!” he continued, “this may sound a little weird but weren’t you in ms. klein’s homeroom?” you then remembered your freshman year homeroom teacher who had a whole wardrobe consisting of cat sweaters.

you nod, a bit confused at specificity of the question, “yeah i did actually..” you internally cringed at the person you were back then, wearing band merch and constantly straightening your hair to the point it was fried. he then explained, “i don’t know if you remember me but i’m dominic. i used to sit behind you.”

you suddenly remembered him, realizing you had a short lived crush on him until he moved schools after the first semester. you gasped, “oh my god, i thought you looked familiar! how’ve you been?” he had gotten a lot better looking than the last time you saw him, looking more taller and lean. his blonde hair was styled in a slightly disheveled wavy mullet and wore a white long sleeved shirt with blue jeans.

he grinned at you, his arctic blue eyes looking into your honey brown ones. “i’ve been good. i’m in town for a couple of days so i decided to explore what’s new here. enough about me though, how are you?” you smiled, feeling heat flush against your cheeks. “i’m doing good, life hasn’t been too bad.”

as you caught up with dominic, you began to realize why you had a crush on him in the first place. he was charming, make you blush as if you were a fifteen year old girl again. he admitted, “to be honest, i did like you but i never got the chance to tell you before i moved.” you laughed in disbelief, thinking it was a lie.

you shook your head, “that’s bullshit.” he insisted, “oh, it’s not bullshit. i regret not asking you out a lot sooner.”

carmy was on his smoke break outside the restaurant, he kept his eye on how you and dominic were interacting with each other. he felt himself growing more irritated at the sight of him making you laugh and smile. he broke up with claire a few weeks ago while he was locked inside the walk-in. he had feelings for her when he was in high school so of course, he thought it was something he wanted still but whenever he was with her, visions of you would cloud his mind.

you shrugged, “i mean.. i think you still have a chance.” dominic smirked, “oh really?” you nodded, “i definitely think so.” he replied, “well, we can go grab drinks after you get off work.. if you’re down.” you blinked, not knowing what to say. he was the first guy who asked you out since your situationship with carmy.

you made your choice on a whim, smiling at him. “i’m down.” he smiled back at you, “cool, can i get your number so i can text you where to meet at?”

he never viewed himself valuable to be loved by anyone, not by claire and especially not by you. his stomach churned and nausea set in when he looked over again, seeing you texting something onto dominic’s phone. he couldn’t bare to see the sight anymore, flicking the remains of his cigarette onto the ground.

he decided to walk around and enter through back of the restaurant, not wanting to see you. as he walked up to the back entrance, he sees richie, taking his own smoking break. “how’s your day going, cousin?” he shrugged, “i don’t know.. kinda shitty.” richie looked at him with concern but knew him well enough to know why he was upset.

he asked knowingly, “you’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” he sighed, “i broke up with claire weeks ago, man.” richie scoffed then responded, “i’m not talking about her, dipshit.” he swallowed the lump in his throat as he knew his cousin was right. “some dude came in and he asked for her number..”

richie’s eyes widened slightly, “oh shit, did she give it to him?” he reluctantly nodded. richie winced, “damn, dude. what are you going to do about it?” he laughed sarcastically, “what do you want me to do? it’s not like she wants to talk to me.” richie sighed, “look, you really like her right?”

carmy nodded, “i think like is an understatement for how i feel about her.” his eyes widened as he never thought he would genuinely be in love with someone but was glad that the person he loves was you. he asked, “what if i’m too late to tell her? i don’t know what i’d do if i was..”

richie shook his head, “i don’t think you’re too late, cousin. if she was getting married or some shit, that’s different. you still have a chance… go make things right with her.” he questioned, “but what if she still doesn’t want to talk to me?” richie shrugged, “then at least you tried. that’s better than putting in no effort at all.”

carmy nodded, taking in everything that his cousin had said. he knew that he had to talk to you and attempt to make things right again. he took in a deep inhale then let the air exhale through his mouth. he looked over at his cousin and said, “thank you.” richie nodded, “no problem.. now, go get your girl back.”

as you got ready to go out with dominic, butterflies fluttered around in your stomach while you looked through your closet to find the perfect outfit. you threw your clothes around as you looked in the mirror, holding them in front of you seeing what looked good or not. you tossed them to the side as you didn’t like how you looked.

your hair was wrapped in a towel while you wore an oversized shirt with shorts underneath to lounge around in before actually getting dressed and ready for the night. you were interrupted when you heard an urgent knock on your front door. you checked your phone and see no texts from dominic that indicated that he was here when another knock on the door rang through the house.

you walked out of your room through the small living room area to the front door and reluctantly opened it. to your surprise, carmy was standing there. you rolled your eyes and sighed, “what do you want?” he looked and stared at you in awe, seeing you in the t-shirt he gave you.

he then blurted out, “i don’t want you to go with him.”

#carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #jeremy allen white #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #writeblr #Spotify #izzy writes 💕

[muzanswaifu]

A Step Ahead - IV

Part I | Part II | Part III

Yandere! Tomioka x Fem! Reader

18+

Previous Choice: "Apologize for running away from him in the woods"

This is the fourth round of the game. Census has determined that you shall apologize to the man for running away from him earlier. Danger. Danger. Danger. Tread carefully.

Warnings: Yandere, Slow Burn, Awkward Interactions, Smut later on

-

-

-

“Uhhh- about earlier…,” you began, “s-sorry about… running away from you… back in the forest. I was scared you were… some creep. No offense-”

You swallowed nervously as he made an actual expression for the first time, and not a good one. His feline eyes narrowed, mouth thinning. He gave a small hum of acknowledgement, a negative mood excluding off of him. Was… he actually mad about it?

A deeper uneasiness befell you, a dark thrill running up your spine. You cowered a bit from such worry, already beginning to retreat yet again and stepping back slowly.

“Where are you going?”

His voice shocked you from its sudden interruption, your ears unprepared to hear him utter any words that were above a whisper.

“Oh,” you gave, “I-I was just… going for a walk around here, so… byeeeee-”

Shuffling to the side, you tried to maneuver around him, but his eyes followed you like that of an old painting. Even as you started walking he pursued you, keeping by your side as you continued your stroll. The air was thick enough to cut with a knife and just moving was a challenge as every bone in your body begged you to fawn.

You both wandered down together on the old, pebbled road, an awkwardness eternally damning you as the man had about as much charm as an ornament. Pretty on the outside but only meant for decoration and not function. But you were nervous. And when you were nervous… you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, unfortunately.

“Sooooo, that’s some interesting outfit…” You were referencing his black uniform and haori, the ladder a strange and not very flattering pattern. “Is it for work?”

You heard him lick his lips for a moment before answering.

“Yes.” No explanation whatsoever.

“... What do you do?”

“Hunt.” Again, no context. He wasn’t very good at this.

“You hunt… what?” People? The mood? Your time?

“Demons.”

You laughed at this, assuming his ridiculous answer had to be a joke. Or moreover, you were hoping it was a joke. But after you’d resumed silence and observed his reaction, that of pure indifference, you soon realized he wasn’t. He was absolutely serious.

You stupidly continued, “Like… like predatory animals… right?” He couldn’t possibly mean actual monsters. That would mean he was not only horrible to talk to, but also insane. He gave a sigh and nodded.

“Fine,” he said, as if it were a compromise. Like you were negotiating his prey. At this point you were just going to let it be. It’s not like you were dying to continue talking about it.

You resumed your silence, realizing it was probably for the best. He didn’t seem much for talking. He didn’t seem much for anything. It was getting pretty late, the sky pitch black and empty, all the stars gone and hiding. You wish you could hide away too.

“What’s wrong with your family?”

You were taken aback by the question, not expecting him to have remembered your initial statements to him. “J-just some stuff with my mom,” you hesitantly replied, “We don’t exactly get along.”

“Why?”

“...She doesn’t like me very much.”

“Why?”

He sounded like a broken record. Or a child who couldn’t stop asking questions. Suddenly you wished you could go back to silence.

“We just never bonded, I suppose. It was a tough pregnancy for her.” You offered up that ladder piece of information in hopes that he wouldn’t pester you for any further evidence. At least you hoped it did.

“... I see,” he mumbled, looking off again. He seemed very distant, you realized, like his mind was somewhere else. Like he was planning something. And perhaps it was rubbing off on you as you finally noticed that you were several yards into the woods, far more off path than you would have liked to be.

“Uhhh, s-sorry, town is more… this way,” you pointed out, backing toward said direction. The look in his eye made your blood run cold.

“Come.”

He commanded it, almost like you were a dog waiting for an order. He sounded far too pressuring for your taste.

You questioned, “Where?” but he gave no response, only looking on at you, as if daring you to take one more step from his direction. You felt the deja vu of his sight fill your mind as you remembered your fear in the woods. He looked horrifying in the dark. You only blinked once, and he was already right in front of you, his large hand wrapping around your forearm and guiding you back toward the thick of the woods. “Come.” he told again, although it was pretty useless as he’d already had you quite literally in his hands. You felt frozen, unsure of what to do in such a scenario. On one hand, you didn’t want to go rushing home to get in trouble, but on the other, you didn’t want to follow this guy into the forest either. If you go home, you know for a fact there was punishment waiting, but what did he have in store? Fun? An escape? A break? Or did he have something more sinister? Just because he was attractive didn’t mean he couldn’t be a danger too. What if he wanted to hurt you? Or worse?

#demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny #kny smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba smut #tomioka giyuu #tomioka giyu #giyu tomioka #tomioka #kny tomioka #tomioka giyū #kimetsu tomioka #giyuu tomioka #tomioka x reader #tomioka giyuu smut #tomioka giyu x reader #giyu #giyuu #yandere giyuu #demon slayer giyuu #giyuu x you #giyu smut #giyu x reader #giyu x y/n #giyu x you #tomioka x y/n #tomioka x you #tomioka smut #tw!yandere

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

@little-box-of-autism I’m posting this ask as an image because I posted the draft before it was done teehe 🤭 anyway, enjoyyyy💅✨ also this is a full-sized one-shot now so if you want a bit of context — feel free to read the headcannon list for how Spider’s dynamic with one of the Sullys would look like if they were to be caught by the RDA together.

An outcast and a coward (Spider caught with Neteyam AU)

.

“-And then he rose out of the water like some goddamn hydra and pulled me into the pond! But then I remembered about the mask so it was fine, and then we fought with Fike and Mansk but of course I won because I mean — look at me” Spider grinned sarcastically, flexing his biceps as he told Neteyam the story of what happened while he went to fish with half of the recom squad as the younger Na'vi was given the assignment of finding twigs for the fire with another group. In his excitement, the blonde failed to notice the irritation slowly creeping into Neteyam's features.

“You had a lot of fun today, haven’t you?”

“Uh huh” Spdier nodded innocently, smiling. “Turns out Miles knows how to relax after all, and he's almost bearable to be around when he is!”

“You're calling him by his first name now?” Once again, a small red flag popped up in the form of Neteyam's slightly malicious tone, but his brother missed it all the same.

“Well yeah, can't keep on calling him sir. He's not my boss or granpa, it gets awkward.”

“Yeah, real awkward...”

Finally, the human had caught on. “...is something wrong? Was Lopez being an asshole to you again?” He asked with a hint of protectiveness.

“What? No, no....I just....I don't know..” now that Teyam was forced to face the topic thst has been bothering him head on, he felt sort of uncomfortable addressing it for a reason he didn't understand. “I know we can't get on the nerves of these pricks all the time but..aren't you getting a little too friendly with the colonel?”

Spider stopped, confused and at the insinuation. “...What are you talking about? I'm not being friends with him I'm just...well, trying to make this whole captivity thing more manageable. You said it yourself: we can't just be rude all the time, it grows old and gets on their nerves...”

“That is not what I-Spider” Neteyam leaned forward to make sure that the recoms at the camp didn't hear them, as they stood on the outskirts. “These avatars are looking for our family. They want to hunt down and kill my father. You can't play house with them just because they give us basic respect.”

“"play house"?? I'm just trying to be civil! I'm sorry if I don't feel like walking around handcuffed all day!”

“Is that what you call being "civil"? Playing games and acting all cute with a literal coloniser??” Neteyam's face morphed into a frown as he seemed to be letting out an emotion he's been holding in for a long time, and seeing it made Spider feel only more agitated at his accusations. Why did this moron have to bottle everything up until it spilled over? The blonde thought, ignoring the fact that he acted the same way.

“God, so what if I had one nice moment with-“

“Don't give me that.” Neteyam cut the boy off with an edge to his words similar to Neytiri's. “You've been doing nothing but batting your eyelashes at him for like, two weeks now.” The Na'vi spat as his buried anger bubbled to the surface. “For Eywa's sake I saw him pat you on the head yesterday and you practically melted into a puddle! Does it really feel that nice to have a murderer coddle you?” Young warrior's voice was cold as his accent thickened, a feature that appeared when he was getting furious.

It cut Spider like a knife as he felt embarrassment creep up his spine, painting his cheeks red. He was trying to play it cool as best as he could, he really did. But if Neteyam noticed, did the recoms too? Did Quartich? He thought he saw him hide a smile in that moment. God, how pathetic.

“Have you forgotten what they’re after??”

“N-no I-”

“So you have no shame then??” Neteyam raised his voice in a scolding tone, attracting the attention of some recoms in the distance, but they could still barely hear the conversation. “They’re reborn murderers. That man is responsible for destroying Hometree and you sag into his touch like a stray kitten??” Neteyam watched as Spider’s shoulders dropped with his every word, but couldn’t stop himself.

For weeks on end Teyam had been living in fear that tomorrow will be the day his father will die right in front of him, the day his family will fall appart and he couldn’t keep it in any longer, couldn’t watch Spider’s treacherous behaviour.

“Well, alright, it wasn’t really him who destroyed Hometree. That Quartich is dead and had been for years, this guy is just a clone.” Spider tried to explain himself, but realised that it was a very bad decision to make as Neteyam’s face stilled in shock.

“I-what I’m saying is-he’s still a humongous piece of shit but…but he could change. Eywa recognised him when she gave him an ikran, so he he can connect to her, he can learn, he could see. He’s not a lost cause and I just…I guess what I’m trying to say is…maybe if I try hard enough…maybe he could…y’know…switch sides? And then maybe no one will have to die?”

The silence was heavy with tension as Teyam stared into Spider’s soul.

…

“Are you shitting me?” He spat, and Spider could already tell this was going to end badly. Neteyam had that menacing low tone that usually expanded into yelling as he slowly opened the pandora’s box and let his emotions take hold of him. “You’re excusing him??” He pointed towards the colonel in the distance, who was coming back from the river with Fike, still in a good mood from interacting with Spider.

“Wha-NO! I would never excuse his actions, but he’s not that man!” The blonde tried desperately to defend himself. This is not what the meant.

“Did he tell you that? Are you just taking his word for it now!?” The Na’vi boy yelled and now everyone in the camp were staring at the two, but he payed them no mind. “What else did he tell you, huh? What other lies have you picked up??”

“None! Jesus Teyam I’m just trying to put things into perspective!”

“He is a genocidal maniac!! There is no perspective!!! Why are you so fucking hellbent on-oh.” The warrior stopped in the middle of his lecture, fury crossing his face. “It’s because of your blood isn’t it.”

Oh no. No no no.

“All these years of teaching you about that monster’s atrocities and yet you crawled back to him the second he showed up on our doorstep? Well aren’t you loyal to a fault.” He snarled, sarcasm oozing from his words.

Spider’s voice shook. He could never be loyal to him, what would make the Na’vi even think that? “Neteyam-”

“You were one of us and yet no matter how widely we opened our arms to you, you still chose them!?”

“I did not—”

“I’d call you a traitor but that wouldn’t be true would it? You were always on their side.” Neteyam was being paranoid at this point, but Spider didn’t know how to calm him, didn’t knew how to get through to the boy through his anger and Spider’s own terrified beating heart, but the next sentence made him freeze into a statue.

“Mother was right.” Neteyam growled. “You really are a demon, no better than him.”

The recoms have caught onto their argument, but stayed dead silent in shock of what they’ve just heard. Miles was frankly at a loss for words. What made the blue brat act so aggressively? How was the colonel suppose to react? He looked at the corporal in search of any kind of advice, but he had none and only put his hand on Quaritch’s shoulder in a sign of ‘this is their business, not ours. It’ll be a bad call to intervene.’

The blonde, meanwhile, didn’t even breathe as his heart shattered into tiny pieces. He heard the villagers at high camp whisper these words, but he never expected Neteyam to join in.

How did it even come to this? Long ago, they used to be such close friends, almost inseparable.

And now his old friend was calling him a demon.

Tears formed at the corners of the kid’s eyes as he stared back at Neteyam, trying to process the words he had heard and as they truly sank in, amongst the shame and the heartbreak, an old, long buried feeling began boiling his blood. The silence between the two was deafening.

Spider looked like he was desperately searching for something, until his mind, which was currently running in circles around the hurtful things Neteyam had said, settled on a sentence.

“ "wide open arms"? When did that happen?” His voice was suspiciously calm, so calm in fact it caught the younger boy off-guard as the snarl disappeared from his face.

“What?”

“You said the Ometekaya had accepted me with wide open arms. When did that happen?”

“…What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you a question. When did the Omatekaya accept me? Because I don’t remember that happening.”

The kid looked up at Neteyam, tear tracks on his cheeks and eyes filled with hurt the Na’vi had never seen before. “In fact, last time I checked, I was just a stray animal, an annoying, dirty waste of space to the clan and the family.” His breathing hitched. “I spent years trying to prove myself. Never talking back, never responding to the hurtful things said behind my back, always turning the other cheek in hopes that one day I won’t be hated anymore.” New tears poured down as Spider slowly, painfully opened up.

“…Spider…” Neteyam stood shocked, starting to regret his previous words. When was the last time he saw Spider cry? It must have been at least a decade. He looked so vulnerable like this, so much smaller than he actually was as his defences got torn down.

“I tried, I really did, to make the clan proud, to make them see I could be worthy, and when they called me a stray, an intruder, a-a murderer in the making, I kept my head down. I tho-ught…” he sobbed. “I thought if I just made myself as convenient as possible. Maybe….maybe….you would finally recognise me again…”

The younger Na’vi stood lost for words as his heart skipped several beats and the memories he kept at bay for almost half a decade began washing over him in waves.

He recalled the day his mother, Neytiri, made it clear she did not want an heir to the Olo’teykan and a "potential killer" hanging out together. Neteyam tried going up against her before, but this time her words felt final. He took her side that day, when Spider cried and defied her, yelling with a broken, small voice that they would keep being brothers no matter what, because it was a vow they gave one another years prior, when they were only babies.

He never kept that promise and the two of them never had a proper conversation afterwards. Neteyam felt too guilty to confront the human boy, so he just pretended like they were mere acquaintances.

And he did so for years.

Until recently, that is.

Just this morning, that day felt like a hundred years ago but now, as Teyam relived that argument in his mind, it looked like it had only happened yesterday. Like Neteyam had only abandoned Spider 24 hours ago.

“But I see it now…that you never even wanted to. Not you, not miss Sully, not Mister Sully, and not the clan. You turned your backs when I made a good deed but pointed at me at the slightest mistake. You only saw me for my failures, my ancestry and you never cared.” The na’vi boy never thought words could hurt this badly but they did, as guilt ate away at him and he watched the blonde fall appart more and more with every sentence.

“You cut me loose, all of you! And I was alone for so long and I’m sorry that I can’t find it in myself to hate him! I tried my best to stay away, I promise I did!!” He cried “But-but…he is the first grownup to see me…he doesn’t have to care, has no reason to…but he does ANYWAY! I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT…” a small sob escaped him as he took ragged breaths “I…I guess…I just…wanted…to know what it’s like…to not be alone anymore…even if it’s not real…even if it’s just for one tiny moment…”

Through the blur of his own tears, Spider saw the entire recom group stare at them, their ears pinned down in pity and shame overwhelmed him as he cursed and ran off, disappearing in the trees. No one dared to follow him.

Neteyam just stayed there, on the other hand, looking at the spot where his brother the blonde had stood, paralysed by the immense shame weighting down on his chest.

It was all his fault. He knew him all his life, he should have noticed, he should have seen that something was wrong, that the hurtful words and constant exclusion from the community stung no matter how well Spider hid it.

He should have fixed it.

He should have been there for him.

.

.

.

Author’s notes: Neteyam grasping with the fact that he had neglected Spider is low-key becoming my favorite thing ✨ I don’t usually write for him but tried my best to do it in character, especially with the whole "scolding Spider although he is older" thing. ALSO IM REALLY SORRY IF THIS WAS BADLY WRITTEN I TRIED REALLY HARD I SWEAR 😭😭😭

Should I make a part 2 where they talk it out tho? 🤨

#avatar #avatar way of water #avatar headcanons #avatar spider #spider avatar #spider socorro #miles socorro #avatar 2 #miles quaritch #avatar quaritch #miles spider soccoro #recom quaritch #quaritch avatar #avatar neteyam #neteyam avatar #neteyam sully #neteyam #avatar miles quaritch #brothers spider and neteyam

[gatoru]

are there still beautiful things? || natsuo todoroki x reader

synopsis/content warnings: natsuo finds himself coming back to you in times of need. after all, you’ve been doing it for over a decade. (childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, domestic love, SMUT; heavy dirty talking, unprotected sex, breeding kink if you squint, natsuo is a bit posessive lol, yan!natsuo during dirty talk, idiots in love, not beta read we die like men)

wc: 3k

author's note: i wrote this as a gift for my dear friend @strawberrystepmom ! thank you so much for inspiring me, talking to me and being there for me. i wanted to show you that i really appreciated you :) <3 hope u like it

Natsuo has a habit. 

Such a habit consists of knocking at your door, usually late at night – desperate, big eyes begging for help. He’s been doing it for years, ever since he was merely a lost kid. This time, his head is down and he won’t seem to fully look into your eyes.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” Todoroki breaks the silence, shaky voice leaving his chest with force. 

Truth be told, you knew he’d show up at your small apartment as soon as the news broke, as soon as you saw the scarred man on the television proclaiming to be one of the Todorokis.

Touya. 

You let him in – of course you do. There’s nothing in the world that would stop you from letting Natsuo in your home, and in your heart. 

“Is it true?” 

Your question seems to cut the tension in the air, as a knife ripping the thickness apart. Context isn’t needed: the white haired boy – man – is still staring at the coffee mug you handed him moments earlier. You’re past the point of asking how he likes his coffee, black and no sugar, thank you very much. 

“No. Yes.” He finally looks up at you, dark gray eyes looking for an answer. “I… I have no idea.”

There’s silence once more - only this time, it isn’t thick with tension. It’s still heavy, with a hint of sadness. There’s only so much to be said about a dead brother coming back to life, and becoming evil. Still, you’ve known Natsuo long enough to know what he’s thinking. 

“Touya was dead.”

You uncross your arms, taking your mug from the coffee table in front you. The coffee was running cold already. 

Natsuo is still staring at you. You can’t help but notice there’s a certain resemblance between him and his father – his nose and eyes belong to his mother, yes, but the rest? It 's all Enji. 

You can’t imagine how he feels. 

“Natsuo…” You whisper his name, placing a gentle palm over his hand. “I don’t know what to say.”

He nods, recognizing your truthness. He sighs – a tired one, and exhausted one. 

“I don’t think there’s a lot to be said.” His confession lifts a weight from your chest, and you’re glad you didn’t close your fist around something so delicate. “Just… I don’t wanna go home.”

It’s your turn to nod, knowing exactly what he means. 

-

The first time Natsuo showed up at your door, you were merely kids. 

Your mother answered. immediately recognizing him as one of the Todorokis that lived down the street. Years later, she would tell you the truth: his household was hell on earth. But, again, it wouldn’t take the brightest mind to notice that. 

You were both seven. Or he was eight, maybe. You don’t remember all the details.

However, you do remember the dynamic: he’d come knocking at your door whenever things got rough at home. Your mom would feed him, you’d play video games together, and he’d get a chance at a normal life – even if only for a few hours. 

“Do you wanna play pirates?” You’d ask, a toothless grin plastered on your face. 

Natsuo would smile – as big as he knew how to.

“Yeah.”

-

Needless to say, you didn’t have to show him the guest room. He knows his way around.

You lean against the door frame as he takes his jacket off, throwing it on the chair besides the bed. He doesn’t look out of place, strangely so. The 6’3 man doesn’t look uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, you’ve never seen him look so at home before. 

“Want me to order take out?” He asks, fishing his phone out of his backpack. 

“Only if you’re craving something. Was thinking we’d cook something simple.”

He frowns, gray eyebrows knitting together. 

“If you think I’m staying at your place and let you cook for me, you’re out of your mind.”

“Technically,” You hold a finger up, getting closer to him. “It’s for us.”

He scoffs, mainly in amusement. 

“Absolutely not. My mother would have my head at the sheer disrespect.” 

You chuckle, although not missing the shadow that crosses his eyes at the mention of his mother. 

“Fine. Whatever makes you happy.”

-

“How come I’ve known you for almost 15 years and you still suck at Mario Kart?” He asks, in pure disbelief at your 8th position. 

“It’s hard!” You cry, failing at avoiding another green turtle shell an NPC threw in your direction. The pink car stumbles once again. Peach has always sucked, anyway. 

Natsuo finishes the race in first place, as you see Yoshi celebrate on the top of the screen

“You suck.” He adds, chugging at his can of diet coke and giving you a smirk.

You have to actively avoid acknowledging the butterflies rebelling in your stomach. 

“And you’re mean.”

There’s a hint of playfulness in your tone. He takes the controller from your hand, getting closer to you. He’s so big and warm… so inviting.

“Cry about it.”

Despite the mocking, he finishes the race for you.

-

The first person to defend you from monsters was Natsuo. 

Well, not actual monsters – more like shitty 5th grade bullies. 

The whole playground saw it. An older kid – although the same size as Natsuo – tried to steal one of your toys. The white haired boy puffed his chest, and displayed the meanest face he could. Much like his dad.

“Give it back!” You screamed at the older kid. 

Natsuo, however, didn’t ask. no, he punched the kid. Right in the stomach.

You remember gasping in surprise, but gladly taking your toy back. No one’s ever messed with you again.

It’s only fair you do the same to him every now and then. 

-

“It’s getting late.” You notice, turning the television off. 

“Yeah.” Natsuo gets up from your worn out sofa, towering over you. “I’m heading to bed.”

“Need an extra blanket or something?”

“Nah, I’m good.” He walks towards the bedroom door, turning on his heels halfway there.

“Uh… thanks for letting me stay, by the way. Really means a lot.”

You smile at him. He smiles back.

“Anytime, Natsuo. Knock on my door if you need anything.”

He nods, excusing himself. 

-

Unsurprisingly, Todoroki knocks on your bedroom door a little after one in the morning. 

“Natsuo?” You whisper, sitting up in your bed, still hazy from sleep.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers from the half-opened door, an apologetic look on his face. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Come in.”

He does, gently closing the door after him. 

-

You barely notice the routine established by you and Natsuo.

It’s been a few days since he first came to your place.He didn’t leave – and it’s now like you wanted him too. Having him around is nice. Better than nice. You don’t wanna name what you’re currently feeling.

“I’m home!” He announces loudly, and you almost jump from your spot at the table. Your eyes scan him up and down. 

“Natsuo, what’s all this?” You ask, a hint of curiosity in your voice. 

He lets the paper bags on top of the counter, sighing happily at the sight.

“Went grocery shopping after visiting my dad at the hospital.”

Your shock doesn’t seem to go unnoticed by him, although he doesn’t seem to be in the mood to acknowledge it. Your eyes drift back to the laptop in front of you. 

“Nice.” It’s all you can come up with. 

“Got you your favorite chocolate, by the way.”

-

It’s been two weeks, and Natsuo doesn’t stay in the guest room anymore. 

No, he stays with you. His giant figure can’t possibly be comfortable in your not-so-large bed, but you don’t have the heart to inquire about that. 

“G’night.” He mumbles, curling up beside you. 

“Night, Natsuo.” You whisper back, your words getting softly lost in the darkness. 

Natsuo smells like mint and something fiery. It’s fresh, it screams his name. His white locks gently frame his face, looking like a layer of now. His lips seem soft, plushy and pink. 

Natsuo is sleeping right beside you when you finally name what’s going on with the two of you, although only for you to know. 

It’s love.

Sleepingly, he wraps an arm around you. Despite such surprise, you nuzzle your face in his chest. 

You both sleep the whole night, peacefully – for the first time in a while. 

-

There’s only so much he can hide from Fuyumi, he thinks. 

“Did you officially move out?” His sister shows up in his room – his actual room, at the Todoroki household – as he’s packing another bag. The white room seems empty, soulless. 

Natsuo is taken by surprise. Of course, it didn’t seem like that to him. 

“Uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, avoiding all eye contact. Fuyumi’s eyes look for his, behind thick glasses. She leans against the doorframe. 

“Are you staying at ____’s?”

He nods.

“Good. It’s good to at least know you’re safe.”

Natsuo blushes at his sister’s words, warmth blooming on his cheeks.

“Tell her I said hi.”

With that, Fuyumi leaves him alone.

-

At the dinner table – with food that isn’t take out, cooked by the both of you – Natsuo gets himself looking at you.

Your eyes glistening and your hands moving rapidly as you talk about your day.

His heart swells on his chest when you start speaking about something you love – something related to work, something he can’t quite understand. 

Natsuo realizes he loves you and almost chokes on homemade soba. 

-

That night, when you start your bedtime routine, Natsuo breaks the silence. 

“I…” He starts to speak, and you look at him through his reflection in the bathroom mirror, applying nighttime moisturizer on your face, in gentle circles. 

“Yeah?” You encourage him to actually start speaking, moving your hands like a fan in order to dry the products on your skin.

“I love you, _____.”

You turn around, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Natsuo…” you say his name, like a thousand times before, only this time it feels different.

“I do. Always have, I think. Ever since we were kids. I love you.” He completes, taking a strand of hair from your face. You look at him, incredulous. “I’m not asking for you to love me back, by the way. I just wanted to let you know that I do.”

He’s comfortable with just loving you.

The words seem to come back to you at such an insult. 

“I’m in love with you too, idiot.”

He seems shocked at such revelation, and a stubborn smile starts to blossom on his lips. His eyes seem different now. 

“You do?”

“Natsuo.” You whisper his name again. “I’ve loved you ever since you asked if I wanted to play pirates.”

He bites his lips, grabbing your waist gently. 

“Yeah? What about all the boyfriends? All the other crushes?”

You figure what the hint in his irises mean.

Possessiveness. 

Natsuo towers over you, and it makes your stomach do flips. You mumble something, and he brings you closer.

“Sorry, couldn’t hear that.”

“Was trying to distract myself. From you.”

He smirks, gray eyes becoming wolf like. 

“Yeah, but I’m here now. And if you think I’m letting you go, you’re fucking insane.”

Your lips crash into his; desire traveling through your veins.Your tongues dance against each other, slowly and curious to taste each other. Your breath hitches in your throat as he bites your lower lip, sensually.

“Bedroom?” You whisper against his lips, in between pecs. He nods, smiling against your lips.

-

Natsuo’s shirt and your pajama bottoms get discarded somewhere from the bathroom to your bed. 

Your nails gently scratch his abs, earning a reaction from him. His hips jerk against yours, and you bite back a moan. He looks at you adoringly, passionately. Your heart explodes in fireworks. All the movies and poems, books and songs about love make sense now. 

“So pretty.” He mumbles against your neck, placing open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin. 

Natsuo takes his shirt off while your hands discover his body, reaching his gray sweatpants. The volume behind the soft fabric makes you smile, devilishly so.You gently grab his erection, playing with him a little, in order to discover more of his pretty sounds. 

He groans, grinding his hips against you. 

“You’re evil. You’re gonna be the death of me.”

Whatever leverage you thought you had is gone once he takes his bottoms off, as his dick gloriously stands against his abdomen, with heavy balls hanging below it. Your mouth slightly falls agape at his thickness as he gently strokes his cock. 

Natsuo finally removes your panties, slowly. He’s taking his sweet time with you, despite your constant squirming and whines. 

“You know,” He whispers, husky voice sending a shot of desire right to your core. “when we graduated high school and you told me you lost your V card to some jackass, I tried my best not to go after the bastard. After all, it wasn’t my right to.”

His fingers ghost over your now exposed pussy, feeling your sticky wetness. 

“And before that, you confessed to me how you’d use the showerhead to finish, cause your fingers couldn’t do it. They’re not thick or long enough. Can’t reach all the right places, right?”

You nod, eating his words up. Slowly, your hips start to move against his hand, but Natsuo seems to not be having any of that. He places a strong hand on your waist, holding you down. He doesn’t need words to make you obey him. 

“I wonder if mine can?” He asks, pushing a single finger inside of your gummy walls. Whining, you throw your head back due to his unsatisfactory rhythm. He pushes the digit in and out, curving his finger a bit. 

“What, baby?” He purrs, swallowing your moans with open-mouthed kisses. “What d’you want?”

A bubble of warmth starts to bloom on your lower abdomen, sending a white-hot feeling through your entire body. There’s sweat, there’s spit, there's desire. You feel like your body might combust at any given moment. 

“More, please. Need more.” You manage to babble, eyes getting glossy over the neediness. 

He obliges your wishes, shoving another finger into your needy cunt.

“Fuck baby, yo’ure so fucking sexy. ‘ve been dreaming about this for so long.” He confesses, shortly after sucking a love bite on your collarbone. 

Your eyes roll into the back of your head, feeling your pussy clench on his thick fingers. Right as you feel the tension start to explode inside of you, he removes his digits.

“Natsuo!” You cry, in a needy way. “C’mon, please.”

You’re not even sure what you’re asking for anymore. He smiles at you, sickeningly sweet. His white hair glues against his forehead, messy silver locks. Natsuo’s face is flushed with desire, a light shade of pink decorating his cheeks. 

“Want my cock, baby? Huh? Want this as much as I do?” His clean fingers gently hold your jaw open, as he places the stained ones on your mouth. You suck on them, tasting yourself and making such dirty sounds that make him grunt. 

“Yes, please. Want your cock inside me. Want you to fuck me, Natsuo” You beg, mumbling through his fingers. “Make me yours.”

The last words seem to fire a light inside of him, as he smiles at you wolfishly. Natsuo grabs his erection, teasing the tip on your wet entrance. You give him a fucked out smile, softly moaning at his actions. 

“You’re such a tease, _____. I’ve been fantasizing about your sweet, tight pussy forever.” He groans, finally pushing his fat cock inside of you. It stretches you in the most delicious way, hitting spots you’ve never reached before — nor your or anyone else. 

He grabs your legs, folding them against your chest, and you whine at the new found angle. It’s so deep, he’s so big. It’s overwhelming.

“Fuck, Natsuo! So good, so fucking good.”

He makes a strangled noise in return, picking up the rhythm. The slapping sound of his balls against you is filthy, and it only adds to the feeling. Natsuo – who’s usually very well composed and controlled, looks wild and predatory. 

“Yeah, am I fucking you good baby? Am I fucking you dumb, so dumb you can’t even talk properly?”

You whine, only nodding in response. The bubble of warmth starts to grow on your abdomen again.

“Fuck, fuck.” He groans. “Are you on the pill?”

Rapidly, you nod, silently consenting what you know he’s actually asking for.

“Gonna feel you up so good, baby. Gonna make you mine.” He places a couple of digits against your puffy clit, rubbing them in circles, and you cry even louder. 

“Cum for me, baby. Can feel you clenching down on me. Go ‘head, I got ya.”

You feel the Earth stutter on its axis as a white hot feeling explodes on your tummy, making your legs shake. Waves of fire travel through your entire body, as your vision slightly fades to black. You can feel Natsuo spill inside of you, with a groan of your name against your ear. 

You stay like this, for a moment, lost in blissful silence. Hissing, he removes his now soft dick from inside of you, his cum spilling out. Slowly, your breathing comes back to normal and you sit up, finding your lover with a wet cloth on his hands. 

Gently, in between soft kisses and praises of “you did so good for me” and “love you, love you so much”, he cleans you up, just enough so you won’t be too uncomfortable before summoning the energy to go shower with him. 

“I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you too.”

Natsuo looks at you, adoringly, slowly taking in the fact that you’re his. The only thing he’s ever chosen in life, the only thing that actually belongs to him, he won’t have to share. 

He smiles at the feeling. 

“Mine.” He whispers, before kissing you one more time. “Now let’s take a shower, stinky.”

#natsuo x you #natsuo todoroki #natsuo smut #natsuo x reader #natsuo todoroki smut #natsuo todoroki x reader #natsuo todoroki x you #mha fanfic

[mrs-monaghan]

He wanted to stay at Jimin's house like he used to before all this.

I've been hearing it from lot of Jkkrs. But are you sure 😭 he was living with JM. Yes we have few similar car moments but other than that ? There is no info

Why would there be in4? Do you know what being in the closet means? You sound stupid

Okay, it has been a very eventful day. But I'll tackle one Jikook ask for the road coz I got 1AM on my end.

Anon, Jikookers have something called common sense. Thats how we came to the conclusion that Jikook were living together and even though it might just be occasionally rn for their safety, I will be using present tense.

When members first moved out, Jimin was the only one who purchased a dilapidated house and anyone could tell he sure as hell wasn't living there. So all 6 others were accounted for except him. So where was he living? Then him and JK were sharing cars all the time. For years. Not "a few moments". And when Hopekook became neighbours, we saw Jhope, Jimin and JK share cars a few times. Again, super sus. Why was it always Jikook at the crime scene?

Anyway, let's look at a few moments in no particular order.

Exhibit a) Spotted outside JK's apartment multiple times.

Exhibit b) Namkook on that one live and RM talked about the cafe infront of their house.

Why is he using our and why is JK nodding in agreement? Last I checked Minimoni are the ones who live in 9/1 not JK.

Moving on

Exhibit c) JK says he will make pizza while looking straight at Jimin which is what prompted Jimin to think he was talking about their home.

Tweet

But then JK clarified that no, he meant at work.

Exhibit d)

When they go home, JK will let Jimin rest. Right. Not sus at all.

Exhibit e) I feel like this sentence went over people's heads.

Jimin doesn't wake up and go look for Jungkook. He wakes up and the first thing he sees, is JK. Thats literally everything right there. Honestly. But sure, I got more.

Exhibit f) My memory is hazy on the context. But RM asked JK why he had watched something. I don't remember what. But JK replied that he watched it because he was at home with him. Him in this case being Jimin.

Exhibit g) Jimin was project manager for BE. So as they were winding up RM told everyone to send their shit to Jimin once they were done.

This part conveniently doesn't get translated but Karmy were kind enough to let us know, when JK taps Jimin's thigh he says; I'll just show it to you.

To recap, anon. Jimin will be at home so everyone else needs to send him their work but JK doesn't need to because he can just show it to him. Because he will already be there with him.

Exhibit h) A favourite of mine. So basically their favorite chef comes over for this episode and brings with him 7 knives including for Suga in absentia. So just so we understand, 7 members, 7 knives.

Basically, members are trying to one up each other and JK is like "we got 2 knives so we win" 👀 Are y'all getting that? Every member left with 1 knife each, but the Park Jeons are way ahead of them because they have 2 knives. Why is JK counting Jimin's knife??

(Side bar: Jimin's face is everything. He knows bae is slipping but he can't do anything without calling attention to it 😂😂)

Exhibit i) Last one since I'm out of image space. This one came from our president. Jimin tells us he hangs about at home naked and Jhope added that JK is usually in charge of music. Jimin's face was e👏🏾very👏🏾thing!👏🏾

Tweet

There you have it. Jikook live together. Jikook boyfriends. Jikook real.

#ask shaz #bts ask #if jikook isn't real then neither am i #jikook is real #jimin and jungkook #park jimin #jimin #jungkook #bts #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jikook analysis

[barrenclan]

I think Time Deer by Bent Knee fits Rainhaze

Any song that calls someone a dog is pretty good for Mr. Haze.

"Oh, nasty dog You are choking on a cog in my time machine Drag you along to the times from which you run So you can see what I see"

"I was string thin, barren and scrambling for food My people exiled, subhuman and crude <- hello. literally barrenclan They took my lover and library too War left me vagrant with nothing to lose"

Oh my God, thank you for blasting me back in time with this. I watched the Flowey animatic with this song about a million times when I was deep in my Undertale phase. Also, yes, Rainhaze as hell, I could literally put every lyric here and they'd fit for him.

"They're-they're these terrors And it's like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing and It's like as if somebody was gripping my throat"

"Don't you breathe for me Undeserving of your sympathy 'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did"

"A drink for the horror that I'm in For the good guys and the bad guys For the monsters that I've been Three cheers for tyranny Unapologetic apathy 'Cause there ain't no way that I'm coming back again"

"Sometimes I see flames And sometimes I see people that I love dying"

"And through it all How could you cry for me? 'Cause I don't feel bad about it So shut your eyes Kiss me goodbye And sleep"

It's definitely softer than I think of music for them, but those lyrics are pretty good. It's almost making me think more of Rainhaze talking to Slugpelt!

"Hey Bunny What if I lose you too If I become the monster Together we can always be blue"

"Hey Bunny Is that your name again It's making me laugh 'cause we used to be friends Hey bunny Am I talking in the mirror I only see myself as what we were"

I don't think so! I like it.

"I hate my work But I'm in control I'm fearless now But it cost my soul"

"It's alright to scream I'm screaming too Why'd you think I do the things I do? For shadows haunted me like ghosts So I became what I feared the most" <- Aw yeah

Okay real about the energy level, I feel that so hard. It would make a cool PMV though!

"He could never stand up 'Til he had to run Finger on the trigger Of an empty gun" <- Verse 1

"Well, she was on an upswing In the spring of life Dancing on a tight rope 'Til he brought the knife" <- Verse 2

I mean, if this whole post doesn't prove that Rainhaze is fantastic to staple music to his forehead, this should.

What a pretty song! Yes, definitely a great song for the overall story.

"I hear it calling/Deep down in my dreams/The wind is blowing/Something lost in me"

"There's nothing else to do/There's nowhere else to go/There's nothing else to live for, anymore"

It's on the playlist, in fact!

Oh I know this song! I used it in a speedpaint once. Ah, a particular context makes it very sad for me with Rainhaze.

"Save yourself I am far beyond repair They will bury me alive But I'm not inclined to care I am too far gone now, oh ohoho"

"Forget the man I used to be You'll move along more easily"

Silly, trying to slip another FNAF fansong past me. It can definitely work for Rainhaze, even if I can't listen to the whispering (I don't like ASMR).

#ask #anon #music #rainhaze #dustfeather #slugpelt #ranger

[lurksunderthebed]

Ghoap Analysis/Meta (2.2)

The Evolution of GhostSoap Redux

More recontextualising of GhostSoap. The other half of mwii (22). Featuring everyone's favourite: "Alone".

Part (2.2/?)

BEWARE SPOILERS MWIII (23)!!!

Please check the alt text.

"Alone" remains the most compelling and vivid mission for anyone looking at Ghostsoap interactions.

It's one of the most important missions because it's the one I consider to contain the building blocks of their relationship. This is their 'getting to know each other' moment as more than just allies/reluctant coworkers.

That said I'll go over the mission from start to finish. Why? Cause why not. I love the mission too much not to give it the detail it deserves.

Alone

Graves: He's put me in command of this operation from here on out. So, y'all need to stand down. It's time to let the pros finish this.

Soap and Ghost glance sideways at each other.

Graves: And why the hell are we talking like this is some kind of a negotiation? It's not. I've got my orders and now you have yours.

Alejandro: And who the fuck do you think you are, cabron? My men are inside!

Graves: I'm afraid not. Your men have been... detained.

Alejandro glares at Graves for a second but then launches himself at him.

Alejandro: Cabron!

Graves and one of his men push Alejandro against a vehicle and restrain him with a zip tie.

Soap: Graves, what the fuck?!

Soap then attacks the Shadow besides him, forcing Graves and the remaining Shadows to open fire on the threat. Ghost elbows a second Shadow behind him in the face and then uses his knife to stab a third Shadow in the neck before throwing that same knife into the fourth Shadow. Alejandro puts his restrained arm around a Shadow's neck.

Alejandro: Get your fucking hands off of me—

Graves knocks out Alejandro in the head with his rifle butt before turning his attention back to Soap. Soap grabs his hostage's sidearm and fires at one of Graves' men, killing him. Graves shoots Soap in the arm, sending him backward to the ground with his dead hostage on top of him.

Soap: Argh!!

Graves moves to his right around the vehicle looking for Ghost. Ghost pops his head out of the vehicle's rear corner and finds Soap on the ground.

Ghost: Go, Johnny!, get out of there! Soap - Go!

Soap pushes the dead guard off of him and launches himself over the concrete barrier sliding down the hill as Graves' men fire on him.

Alright bear with me. This is a long transcript but I included the whole exchange for full context. I've bolded the two things I wanted to talk about.

First being the long glance Ghost and Soap give each other. Again, when I saw this scene I initially thought it strange. It was odd to me that Soap who had been introduced to Ghost for presumably the first time only 7 days ago was able to communicate through glances no less to Ghost so effortlessly.

I thought "wow" maybe there were large amounts of time unseen between missions. Maybe Ghost and Soap got to know each other then? Though the disdain Ghost showed to Soap and the coldness outside of missions till "Alone" seem to disprove it.

Or maybe they just shared such an instant connection this was possible? Stranger things had happen before.

But now that we have "Flashpoint" it's obvious that they've definitely worked together enough. Enough to communicate through searching looks. Not enough to know each properly or more intimately. Or for Ghost to have cared about Soap before the events of "El Sin Nombre". But an effective working relationship.

This is demonstrated here in "Alone" to great effect.

Soap and Ghost don't have to nod, they just see each other's expression. Or rather Soap sees Ghost's "I'm so done with this bs" look again. A look that Soap has triggered many times in their working relationship no less. And a look he recognised during "Cartel Protection" when he motioned for Rudy to stop joking. Soap can read Ghost surprisingly well.

So does this mean they could've had a deeper relationship before the events of mwii (22)?

Perhaps.

But again I say it's unlikely.

Soap's strength of character is so immediate that it not standing out within a staggering 3 years is unbelievable UNLESS Ghost only worked within a limited basis with him.

Remember that it's Ghost seeing Soap volunteer himself to do something recklessly brave that really causes him to change his opinion on Soap and then blurt out a nickname for the sergeant.

An unfamiliar nickname to Soap that shows Ghost's care.

Now why do I say it's unfamiliar?

Lets look at my 2nd point in this transcript.

Ghost: Go, Johnny!, get out of there! Soap - Go!

Ghost yells at Soap to go. Another high stress moment for the LT which makes him use that new nickname of his. But it's not 'Johnny' that really gets Soap to snap out of his shock. It's the name 'Soap' that does.

Now you can argue that this was a high stress moment. Soap could just respond to his military name different when he's running under a lot of adrenaline.

But thats patently untrue.

We can even prove it with the events of "Flashpoint" '19:

Soap: I'll blow your fuckin' brains out, Makarov - you hear me, I swear to god I'll do it.

Price: Soap... Soap! Don't do it!

Soap: Let me finish him!

Makarov: [Laughing]

Price: John, we have him! He's in custody. He's not going anywhere.

Price: Stand down, Sergeant.

Soap grimaces and moves away.

After Makarov taunts Soap and Ghost in the helo, we see the sports stadium blow up anyway despite Soap and Price's best efforts (to Makarov's evil glee).

This enrages Soap and he threatens to kill Makarov. Price stops him but with much pleading. And guess what? It's not the name 'Soap' that breaks through to him. It's Soap's actual name 'John' that does.

It's Price's own personal reference to Soap that changes the sergeant's mind. Cools him down from his righteous fury.

Accordingly, if 'Johnny' was a name that Ghost had used before, I can't see why it wouldn't be the prevailing name that would get Soap to really get moving. Especially since we see Ghost once again use it in high stakes moments.

'Johnny' is Ghost's personal reference to Soap just like how 'John' is Price's. Thus it should be the name given more weight in Soap's mind.

But it isn't.

It's because the name is new.

Again this demonstrates how much Ghost's relationship has changed because of "El Sin Nombre". From barely tolerated coworker to something more. It's a fascinating look.

But enough of that.

Lets get to the fun stuff: gameplay dialogue. Everyone's favourite in this mission.

But before we do, we should be reminded of this statement in part 2.1,

As we find out through "Alone", Ghost is a massive hypocrite. There's much he tells Soap to do but doesn't actually follow himself. As a result there are three things to pay attention to when discerning his motivations: His nicknames, his stares and his actions.

This is important to have at the forefront when we look at Ghost's relationship to Soap. Especially when we take apart the dialogue because it really shows Ghost's 'do as I say and not as I do' mentality.

I've also mostly ignored putting in all the snarky jokes up as that would mean having the entirety of the mission dialogue here. Just know that this mission is the FIRST time that Ghost entertains Soap's jokes and even makes his own jokes back to keep Soap focused on making it out alive. Despite all his efforts, Ghost is finally warming up to Soap and getting hopelessly attached. It only took 7 days.

Gameplay Dialogue

Soap: This is Bravo 7-1, in the blind... How copy...? Ghost, this is 7-1, do you copy?

The radio crackles with static.

Soap: Fuck...Where are you, Ghost?

Soap gets back up on his feet and limps forward a few steps before collapsing forward to the ground.

Ghost: (over radio) Soap- This is Ghost, how copy?

Soap doesn't answer.

Ghost: Johnny...?

Soap touches his wounded arm and sees how bloody it is.

Ghost: Johnny... How copy?

Soap: Solid.

Ghost: Thought we lost you.

Here we see Ghost try to contact Soap normally. Then we see him panic internally, (though it's not obvious in tone), by switching to 'Johnny' when he gets no response from Soap. Another high stress moment for Ghost that he himself sort of acknowledges by saying that he thought they lost Soap. This guy is not fooling anyone in how much he cares.

Interestingly enough Soap never acknowledges the nickname until "Prison Break" and that was to Alejandro. Perhaps Soap knows that Ghost will just clam up if he asks about it from Ghost himself. This is also supported by dialogue.

Soap: Creepin'...

Ghost: What are you seein'?

Soap: A bloodbath.

Ghost: Watch your arse.. You got exactly zero allies down there...

Soap: We're friends, no...?

Ghost: We're teammates... Friendship's not in the field manual, Johnny...

Soap: Neither is mask making...

The moment Soap mentions Ghost as more than teammates/coworkers Ghost downplays it. It's obvious that emotional attachment is something Ghost strives to avoid.

The irony of the spooky man's rebuke is that he immediately defaults to using Soap's nickname right after it. Of course, Soap calls out Ghost on the hypocrisy. Ghost doesn't have a response back. Soap leaves it there, though again, failing to comment on the nickname and how much Ghost seems to like using it.

But why doesn't Soap mention it?

The answer lies in the situation. Soap knows that pushing for more, for an explanation would mean Ghost stonewalling him again. And Soap needs all the friends he can get to survive.

It does beg the question though, did Soap see Ghost as a friend prior to "Kill or Capture"? His casual attitude and fistbump at the start of the cutscene with Ghost tells us, yes probably.

We see throughout the game that Soap is physically affectionate with those he likes.

"Kill or Capture" had Soap fistbumping the marine in the helo before the depart. "El Sin Nombre" and "Dark Waters" had Soap exchanging more fistbumps and a hug to Graves. It's obvious that Soap is a tactile guy.

Hell, we even have "Flashpoint" in '19 to suggest Soap saw Ghost as a friend as well! Shocked? Me too.

There's a bit of dialogue exchanged between Makarov and Soap when he was pushing him to get to the HLZ (landing zone for helo transport).

Price: Visual on the exit. This way.

Soap: Walk!

Soap shoving Makarov forward.

Soap: Time to meet some friends of mine.

Makarov: Where are they?

Soap: Close.

The only ones they meet in the helo is Shepherd and guess who, our boy Ghost. Insert Jazz hands. It's funny Soap thinks of Ghost as a friend when the LT really stonewalls him. We hear probably the most brisk conversation from Ghost to Soap ever when Ghost provides sniper cover to Soap. There is no acknowledgement from Ghost to Soap at all. Not even a casual sergeant or Mactavish.

Now Soap could be referring to 'friends' as a let me show you my very threatening coworker who is infamous for his interrogation skills. Ha ha rot in hell ya bastard. Sort of thing. That's probably what the game meant to imply.

But the idea of Soap having a onesided friendship to Ghost for 3 years (complete with fistbumps and snarky jokes) and Ghost just sort of tolerating it cause he can't avoid the sergeant, is desperately funny.

Considering how much Ghost side eyes and rolls his eyes around the sergeant. I wouldn't at all be surprised that's how it went for them.

Anyhow back to more gameplay dialogue.

Ghost: Advise you move interior if you're not already. It's good cover.

Soap enters the garage and finds a locked door.

Soap: No joy... Door's locked.

Ghost: Look for supplies- things you can make tools with. Welcome to guerrilla warfare...

Again, if Ghost is trying to show how little he cares about Soap he's just failing miserably. Here we see Ghost showing Soap how to deal in a situation that is unfamiliar to him. Ghost desperately wants Soap to live and make it out.

Soap: Broke off a fan blade.

Ghost: Tie off the blade with the rope and pry open a door.

Soap: Sounds like you've done this before...

Ghost: Years of practice...

Another example but this time we see how little Soap knows about Ghost. I feel that if they were closer, Soap would know that Ghost has experience in situations such as these.

But no, this is a teaching moment for Ghost, one where he sees Soap manage to make it out despite the odds against him again (the first time being "El Sin Nombre") and a time for both Soap and Ghost to get to know each other more.

And then we come across this golden nugget. This one is the clearest example of Ghost's complicated relationship with intimacy and trust.

Soap: Oowf...

Ghost: What's the latest?

Soap: Mercs are killing everything in their path.

Ghost: War crimes...

Soap: Makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own...

Ghost: Tyranny. It won't stand.

Soap: Think we'll get a green light to go after these guys.

Ghost: No more green lights, Johnny. We're on our own.

This last line is critical. But more on that, with the next dialogue that follows after. There are several options but I'll choose the Price dialogue.

Soap: What about Captain Price?

Ghost: Price isn't here, is he...? The old man can't bail us out. Not this time.

There's an option to deny or agree that Price is someone to trust.

Here's if you say you trust Price.

Soap: I trust the Captain - if he knew, he'd be here.

Ghost: Be careful who you trust, Sergeant. People you know can hurt you the most.

Here's if you don't.

Soap: I don't trust anyone- Don't trust anyone right now, even Price.

Ghost: We'll see. Just make sure you can trust yourself. Start there.

Now what does this tell us?

Lets look at the this bit.

Ghost: No more green lights, Johnny. We're on our own.

As I said earlier this line is very important. Consider Ghost and Soap's relationship at the start of "Kill or Capture". Ghost barely tolerates Soap. He mostly does solo missions and if he's team lead, then it's not in a group of people he sees consistently. He's nominally a lone wolf. It's even in the dialogue later, "[Ghost] (is) used to working alone".

But now it's no longer Ghost and 'sergeant I have to tolerate', it's SoapAndGhost against the world. They can't rely on anyone else but each other. Not Price, not Alejandro, not Laswell. Just Soap and just Ghost: they've become a unit.

Ghost could have said to Soap, "You're on your own." He could've left Soap to die; it would've been easier on Ghost if he did realistically. He knows where Alejandro's safe house is, he's not injured, has better skills, weapons, positioning to just leave outright. But he doesn't.

Ghost is there helping him. Ghost misdirects, he outright lies, he is a massive hypocrite. But even here he can't quite lie to himself. He frames it himself as not a "You have to do this to help yourself". It's a "We have to help each other".

Afterwards they talk about trust. I actually find it revealing of Ghost's own complexities about it. Here he contradicts himself.

Let's look at the next three possible exchanges.

Soap: What about Captain Price?

Ghost: Price isn't here, is he...? The old man can't bail us out. Not this time.

When asked about who to rely on, he outright states that Price is someone they can. Just that they can't rely on him now because he isn't there with them. It's implied that Price is someone that Ghost trusts.

Then in the next bit, he says the opposite.

Soap: I trust the Captain - if he knew, he'd be here.

Ghost: Be careful who you trust, Sergeant. People you know can hurt you the most.

When Soap says that he trusts Price, Ghost gives a rebuttal: telling Soap to be careful of who he trusts and that the people close to him could hurt them the most. So he implies to Soap that Price isn't trustworthy.

If Soap says he doesn't trust Price or anyone,

Soap: I don't trust anyone- Don't trust anyone right now, even Price.

Ghost: We'll see. Just make sure you can trust yourself. Start there.

Instantly, Ghost implies that he should trust Price with a 'we'll see' and a please trust yourself (and not get hurt). Unsaid was the 'I don't even trust you, [Ghost]' from Soap that actually might've pained Ghost. Especially since Ghost is going out of his way to help Soap.

So what is it for Ghost?

It's obvious he trusts Price a great deal. Out of everyone in 141, he's the next closest person Ghost is to anyone. Price has seen him without the mask; it's implied they have worked together for years. Price is even allowed to refer to Ghost with his first name, seen later in "Ghost Team" and in Cod Warzone when we first see reboot Ghost.

Why does he have to give round about answers to Soap then?

The answer lies in the fact that Ghost implies to have been betrayed once by someone very close to him. It shows that Ghost's trust is hard earned and exactly why he tries so hard to not get attached to people. The people closest to him have broken his trust and hurt him.

Most importantly underneath it all, it's very clear that he doesn't want Johnny to ever go through that.

Ghost tells him to be careful, how to lie low, to keep calm through banter. He's always checking in to Soap. He's giving weapon tips. He's making silly dad jokes. He cares about Johnny more than just the physical. He worries about his emotional state as well.

They and the rest of the team got betrayed by a trusted ally. One that we see Ghost and Soap have worked with since '19. Its painful.

At this moment it's obvious Ghost sees himself in Soap. Just like him in the past, he sees Soap get betrayed by long term allies—friends even.

But more than that, he sees Soap as someone better than himself. This is even suggested in the next dialogue bit.

Soap: Good advice, L.T. I wanna be like you when I grow up.

Ghost: You wanna be better than me, Johnny...

At this point, the player can choose a few more dialogue options.

1. Soap: I will be. Ghost: Good man.

2. Soap: Got my work cut out then. Ghost: That you do...

3. Soap: Maybe, I already am... Ghost: Now's your chance to prove it.

Now, Ghost doesn't outright state it, but he more or less says he sees the potential of Soap to be someone much better than him. (And wants him to be).

Why do I think Ghost already sees him as the better man?

Because of the events of "El Sin Nombre". That one moment that captures Ghost's gaze, the defining point to Soap in the entire game: Soap walking into the cartels hands.

Again, let me remind you that Soap didn't get volun-told. He volunteered for a task that even Ghost wouldn't do. And it's this moment that forever changes how Ghost sees him.

Ghost is impressed. Ghost admires Soap for it. Soap was the better man that day. He proved it to Ghost then.

So why does Ghost imply there's only potential?

This is why:

Soap: Think I'll live that long?

Ghost: Probably not...

Ghost doesn't think Soap will live through the events of "Alone". He wants to motivate Soap to get through Las Almas and find Ghost despite the odds stacked against him. He desperately wants this man, Johnny, to live. He wants to trust this reckless man. But he doesn't think Soap will live long enough for it to matter. This disbelief that Soap will make it out comes up constantly and at the end of the mission to great effect.

Moving on, pretty early in the mission, we get the first mention of Ghost's name from Soap.

Soap: Did you see the caged dog?

Ghost: Big geezer. If he barks, shoot him and repo quickly- Don't get compromised...

Soap: You are stone cold, Simon.

Ghost: What has two legs and bleeds?

Soap: Don't tell me... Ghost: Half a dog... Soap: I asked you not to tell me.

We see Soap leaning into this new closeness with Ghost by using his name. A name we only see Price use. A name that is the very implication of intimacy to a man that goes out of his way to hide his identity.

Soap is testing boundaries. Now that we know they've known each other for awhile, it's clear that Soap has always wanted them to be closer. The moment Soap gets a chance, he pushes for what prob is the 'holy grail' of closeness to Ghost. If not seeing his bare face, then being on a first name basis is a big one.

And Ghost instantly deflects with a joke to get away from that intimacy. A terrible joke, Ghost knows Soap won't appreciate. Ghost's later jokes were actually sort of funny in a "puntastic" way. This one is just plain shitty.

The best part, is that Soap must understand that Ghost isn't comfortable with him using his name either. Not at this point, for this is the only time we see Soap use 'Simon' the whole game.

We can read the whole bit as Ghost playing into the shock factor of willing to kill a pet and bantering back easy. But a more interesting alternative reading is that Ghost was uncomfortable with the name usage and deflected with a horrible joke. One that indirectly confirms to Soap that Ghost is indeed stone cold.

I like to pick the alternative because this deflection from intimacy, care, worry happens constantly.

It even happens in the next dialogue:

Soap finds a balcony and drops down to the street, collapsing to the ground as he does so. He gets back up and leaves the house.

Ghost: Gimme a sit-rep.

Soap: Outside... Gated alley.

Ghost: Stick to the edges and stay low.

Soap: Copy.

Ghost: You may get a brag rag for this...

Soap: A medal?

Ghost: Chest candy.

At this point, the player can choose from several dialogue options.

1. Soap: That's all rubbish.

2. Soap: Dead Shadows are my medals.

3. Soap: I deserve one.

Ghost: You said you wanted a win. Congratulations, you're a winner...

Soap: Away n' bile yer heid!

Ghost: English, MacTavish...

Soap: Sorry, sir, let me translate... "Go fuck yourself."

Ghost: Much better.

Lets break it down simply. Ghost hears Soap get injured. Ghost instantly asks if he's okay. Soap says he is. Ghost is worried, decides to deflect his worry and distract Soap by enticing him with medal talk. To which then he goads Soap into getting pissed at him to fire up his spirits.

We can see it as another, 'Ghost jokes to make Soap feel better' moment.

But what if we look it the other way around?

He's not only doing this for Soap, he's doing this for himself as well.

This is uncomfortable territory for Ghost. Caring that is. Jokes are made to distract both Ghost and Soap from thinking too hard on Soap's slim chances of survival. Not Ghost's survival. That was never truly a worry. Especially with all of Ghost's skill and prior knowledge.

Again this is shown in the very next bit:

Ghost: Church is on the north side of the city. I've set up a sniper position in the church tower. Find your way there, and you might just make it.

Ghost is already set up at the church. He's well kitted out with a bloody sniper rifle of all things. How he got it when Soap and Ghost ran from their vehicles is a mystery. He's literally metres away from the very vehicle that Soap and Ghost use to get away later. Ghost would be able to easily make it out there. It's even in his wording here. It's not a "we just might make it" it's a "you might just make it".

Contrast to Soap who's injured, weaponless and completely new to solo stealth operations like this. Ghost is worried. He's right to be. Cue all the cute banter and flirting between them.

We come across this as well.

Soap: Ghost, you missing a knife...?

Ghost: Several.

Soap: Think I found one.

Ghost: Some of the dead Shadows are my handiwork...

Soap: You came through here?

Ghost: On my way to the church.

Soap: And you left me?

Ghost: I'm used to working alone.

Soap: So much for no man left behind.

Ghost: Just get yourself to the church. Tryin' to keep you alive and get you here in one piece. One of us needs to survive to tell the tale.

Soap: Taken a shine to me, then?

Ghost: Not in the slightest. Still got a lot of ground to cover.

Soap is hurt about getting left which is more of a given considering they've known each for 3 years already.

We see Ghost's disbelief that Soap will get out of this situation alive. In a strange way, this is also Ghost testing Soap. He wants to trust Soap, something that he more or less stated was hard for him to do. If Soap is that admirable/trustworthy man he saw in "El Sin Nombre" then Soap will do the impossible and survive.

Ghost scrambles to find an excuse for leaving him and plays his hand: that he's indeed taken a shine to Soap by admitting to trying to keep him alive. Soap calls him out and Ghost lies between his teeth about survival. As we established, Ghost could easily leave then wait around. Survival for Ghost is not an issue. In fact, his survival is threatened by staying longer than necessary.

Again, we see him deflect his attachment.

We see this happen multiple times over and in many forms even.

Another being Ghost's insistence to come across as a stone cold killer to Soap constantly. We see it in the horrible dog joke earlier, where Ghost leans into his willingness to kill pets if necessary, and more damnably here:

Soap: Yes... L.T., about to play rough with the Shadows...

Ghost: I like the sound 'o that.

Soap: Fashioned a trip mine...

Ghost: A man after my own heart...

At this point, the player has several dialogue options.

1. Soap: Thought you'd like that. Ghost: You thought right.

2. Soap: You have a heart? Ghost: A cold one...

3. Soap: That's a scary thought. Ghost: You learn fast, Johnny.

If we ignore the flirty banter in the first chunk and focus on the answers, we see that all three answers have an emphasis (some more than others) on how 'emotionless' and cold Ghost is. Ghost tells Soap he's dangerous, that he's a killer who enjoys making men afraid of him. That he has zero emotions—that he doesn't care. Which is so hilariously untrue of Ghost's actions and words towards Soap during this mission that I find it funny he even tried. Ghost cares. That's not in question here.

The bigger question is, does Soap buy Ghost's act?

That question is somewhat answered in the next mission, "Prison Break" but I will leave it for later analysis. (I'll get there I promise!)

Lets get back to more deflections wooh babey!

Cause we got this iconic example of Ghost's attachment and a deflection to talk about:

Ghost: Rain's good. It'll cover your tracks.

Soap: Covers theirs too...

Ghost: Let's worry about you, Johnny.

Soap: So, you do like me?

Ghost: I like you alive...

Soap asks multiple times if Ghost likes him now. He's very persistent. If Soap was attached to him before as a onesided friend, it's changing into something else now. With Ghost helping him, entertaining all his jokes, ACTUALLY matching his snark for the first time in 3 years, Soap can't help but push for more.

This mission is the first time we see Ghost have any sort of personality beyond brusque professionalism and Soap is delighted. If we consider "Kill or Capture" Ghost as default, then the past 3 years had Ghost cutting off any banter or just staying silent. This Ghost that has the most deadpan sense of humour is something new, something Soap wants to see more of.

That's why we see so much of what I can only describe unequivocally as "Very Flirty Behaviour" later.

Re iconic scenes:

Soap: I'm in the coffee shop.

Ghost: Get us a tea.

Soap: Fucking Brits... You're gonna owe me for this.

Ghost: Why?

Soap: We're fixing each other's problems.

Ghost: What's my problem?

Soap: The mask... Take it off...

Ghost: Show my face?

Soap: Yes, sir.

Ghost: Negative.

Soap: Are you ugly?

Ghost: Quite the opposite.

Soap: I doubt that.

And:

Soap: L.T.- I'm at the bar.

Ghost: You like tequila?

Soap: Could use one right about now. 

Ghost: I'd murder for a whiskey. 

Soap: You mean Scotch? 

Ghost: I drink bourbon. 

Soap: Like a good ol' boy... 

Ghost: I love Kentucky. 

Soap: You're out o' your mind, L.T. 

Ghost: That's for sure.

Now what can we say of this? I see it as Soap testing the new boundaries of their relationship. We see this earlier with Soap's usage of 'Simon'. That effort was deflected. Using Ghost's name was too much and we see the LT make a joke that lands intentionally poorly.

But you know what doesn't land poorly? Very very blunt flirting. Soap goes for the throat and asks questions about Ghost he's probably always wondered.

As we see here in this other dialogue possibility:

Soap: L.T.- I'm at the bar.

Ghost: You like tequila?

Soap: No. Tastes like dog piss.

Ghost: I'll take your word for it.

Soap: Got a tactical use for dog piss?

Ghost: Wolf hunting. They follow the scent.

Soap: Do you hunt with the mask on?

Ghost: Naturally. The camo version.

Soap: I'll bet you sleep with that thing?

Ghost: Soundly.

Soap: You're out o' your mind, L.T.

Ghost: That's for sure.

Ghost isn't deflecting by making poor jokes or shutting it down. He's actually continuing the conversation. It's almost a strange sideways game of gay chicken, except the flirting is fine and even extended. It's when Soap gets too close emotionally (as seen in prior dialogue) that Ghost shuts it down.

The rest is fine, enjoyed even. The assortment of terrible "dad" jokes Ghost inflicts on Soap alongside the flirting Ghost does back to Soap shows Ghost's willingness to play along.

Ghost is having fun with Soap.

He's clearly getting a laugh out of how much he can make the sergeant roll his eyes. He's giving a taste of what he had to endure with Soap's constant prodding back to him. They are delineating the new boundaries of their relationship, redefining it and finding a kindred soul—someone who can match each other's snark and banter.

A good question to ask is why this didn't happen earlier in those 3 years? Soap is a cheeky lil shit. Ghost is secretly a snarky bastard. He's probably had all these rejoinders said back to Soap in his mind everytime Soap prodded him. They could match each others bark. Ghost knows this, but he refrained from joking back. Why?

Again, it's because he never saw Soap as anything else but a faceless soldier, one that wouldn't stop talking on comms and was too overly familiar with him. Soap likes to play with fire; testing a man known for being stone cold is something he would absolutely do. It's obvious emotional closeness is something Ghost avoids. Thus, it's something Soap would no doubt bug Ghost with. And the sergeant demonstrates it in "Kill or Capture" with his cheekiness, his unwanted touches, his gall to approach Ghost with more than a healthy respect for his skill.

But now, Ghost realises that Soap truly is more than what he thought for so long. He's even fun to be around. And an even more damning thought lays there in Ghost's mind.

What else was he wrong about too?

And so we get to near the end of the mission:

Soap: Think I found a way through, L.T.

Ghost: Shadows are everywhere. I'll hold 'em off until we RV in front of the church and secure a vehicle for exfil.

Soap: Roger that.

Ghost: Give 'em hell, Johnny- We're almost there.

Note the "we" there. It's stuck in Ghost's mind. They're a unit. Partners against the world.

And then finally:

Ghost: Johnny, stay close. Heads up for a vehicle we can take.

Eventually, Soap and Ghost reach a pickup truck nearby.

Ghost: Soap, pickup truck ahead. Lights on.

Soap: See it!

Ghost: I'll drive, Johnny- take shotgun!

Ghost uses 'we' again. He uses it plenty of times throughout the mission when he forgets himself and halfway steps into seeing them as more than reluctant teammates. But its contrasted with the next bit where he doesn't. And this is another defining moment for Ghost and Soap:

Soap and Ghost enter the truck with Soap in the passenger seat and Ghost behind the wheel.

Ghost: Alright, Johnny- You made it...

Soap: We made it, L.T.

We see the camera pan to Ghost, getting ready to drive. He tells Soap, "You made it..."

Soap proves himself to Ghost. He truly is that better man that Ghost saw a couple days back. Ghost is proven wrong in his quiet supposition that Soap won't make it: Johnny is worthy of his trust, his admiration. It's him alone, that managed to get out by himself.

But its not really.

And a pivotal moment that'll stick in Ghost's memories happens.

The camera pans to show what Ghost sees. And it's a compelling one.

Soap in that soft lighting, telling him that it's not Johnny who made it out alone. It's them both. "We made it, LT."

They're a team. Ghost and Soap aren't alone; they have each other.

If we think about the mission on a whole, we realise the irony of the mission's title. It's named "Alone". And we play as Soap being yes—alone. But he's actually not alone at all.

He has Ghost.

And it's only because of Ghost that Soap managed to survive. The title "Alone" becomes less that and more "Alone [together]".

The last scene really drives it through our head.

The truck comes under fire from the Shadows. Soap fires back with his pistol.

Ghost: Hold fast...!

Ghost puts the truck in reverse and runs over the two Shadows firing on them.

Soap: That's one way o' doin' it!

Soap spots a Shadow to the left of Ghost.

Soap: Get back!

Soap shoots and kills the Shadow.

Ghost: Thanks.

Soap: Drive- I'll cover us!

Here we end it off with Ghost and Soap united. Working as a newly minted team, a unit. Ghost saved Soap's life by sticking back and waiting for him. Soap pays the favour back by saving Ghost from getting shot. They're equals, partners. From here on out it's SoapAndGhost against the world.

For the sake of not making this post even longer and giving a moment for people to digest, I'll split this right here.

I'll put the actual discussion of Soap and Ghost's relationship so far into the next post. In it, I'll answer the question we all had in our minds, "Did something romantic happen between Ghost and Soap after the events of 'alone'?" I'll go over what I mostly avoided here, which is Soap's motivations/characterization. I've mostly focused on Ghost's though this post. Gotta make one on Soap.

Right so on to the alone part (2.3) lol 😂. When I get there.

+

Any comments, arguments, concerns, feel free to ask.

#ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghost x soap #simon riley #call of duty #soap x ghost #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #cod mwiii #call of duty modern warfare #captain price #soap mactavish #ghost cod #meta

[howtobecomeadragon]

A ton of credit for this post goes to @dinitride-art, who pointed out Mike's discomfort being at Suzie's house in Part 13 of their lighting analysis, I hadn't picked up on that previously at all. I wanted to expand on that a little, focusing more on just Mike (not Will as we've seen him accept himself and his sexuality a lot more and as such there's just not as much here to analyze with Will) instead of the lighting, but all props go to @dinitride-art!!! Check out their lighting analysis, it's been blowing my mind!

So we've all talked about how Mike's parents being Reagan supporters definitely could have impacted Mike's internalized homophobia. But as far as I remember, there aren't any religious symbols in the Wheeler house and religion hasn't played a part in the show much before.

Suzie being Mormon played a role in s3, as an explanation for why Dustin and Suzie needed to keep in touch via radio instead of via the phone. But in s4, we see Suzie's household being a field of landmines for Mike's internalized homophobia. That lens kind of puts into context this ridiculous sideplot that felt on the first watch through like a bit of a time suck: it showed Mike's discomfort and fear of being himself.

Walking up to the house, Jonathon warns them that they need to "be on their best behavior, with Mike pointing out "they're just really religious." This is played for laughs with respect to Argyle, but that line is there to highlight something else: internalized homophobia that makes Mike hesitant to admit his feelings towards Will. Argyle says he's super spiritual, and Mike says "I think they're spiritual too, just in a different way." With the implication being that while Argyle's spirituality is free and connected with nature, Suzie's family may be more likely to judge them... maybe just Argyle and so he shouldn't talk about smoking in front of them, but it's more than that, and Mike knows that. We'll come back to these lines later.

We see in the sequence before they find Suzie that there's a ton of imagery that, pre-vol2, a lot of people theorized were death clues towards Mike's, but seeing that he remained physically unharmed in vol2, I'm guessing that this imagery instead was meant to imply how unsafe Mike feels in this house. He is gay and struggling with feelings towards Will, and doesn't want to be found out and condemned by this super religious family. @dinitride-art mentioned that entering the house, Will is on Mike's LEFT side, with Mike's heart pocket facing away from Will, which rarely happens this season. Mike is trying to appear more straight.

Back to the house being dangerous for Mike: he's hit in the head with a fake arrow, a girl drops in front of Mike, choking and bleeding from the neck (a reminder for Mike that he needs save El quickly, as well as imagery similar to El later on being choked by the vines, and this foreshadowing in this house while he's trying to appear straight also foreshadows that Mike's love confession doesn't work because it's not genuine, he can't save everyone with a lie), the knife chopping quickly with Mike emerging from the background, and then more subtly, the discomfort associated with being expected to be in love with El, reflected in Mike's annoyance at Argyle and Eden flirting: "falling in love at first sight" with a girl.

After that scene, we skip to other characters but it's important to note that directly preceding returning to Suzie's, we are once again shown religion being used against our characters: Jason basically preaches to the town about why they need to hunt the Hellfire club down because they're Satanic worshippers and murderers. Just an interesting parallel: they're really hammering home that religion is dangerous for our characters right now. These scenes are one after another to show that parallel: it's not just happening back in Hawkins, it's in Salt Lake City too.

In the next scene, we see Eden interrupt and mock Suzie's scolding about her language, saying "what, am I going to burn in hell now?" and then we see Mike looking after her, looking... on edge and holding himself stiffly. Eden's words are a reminder of punishments for sinning, including being gay. A forcible reminder that they're in a very religious house, to Mike and the audience. We then see him glancing back at Will right after that as Will speaks up to continue the conversation. Will helps him stay on track with what they need when he's distracted and Will's also there as someone to help Mike as he feels anxious in this house.

But when Suzie talks about how her dad took her computer, there's a big focus on her dating the wrong person, an Agnostic(!), and her father's anger towards her and punishment. When we cut back to our group, Mike is hanging his head, likely reflecting on how that punishment could apply to him as well, but soon after, he looks back to Will again. Just looking at Will provides comfort, maybe helps Mike feel like he's not a mistake??

Moving onto the next segment, we see Mike pressed against the wall before sneaking into Suzie's father's study, and Mike is the main focus of this shot. All the other characters hiding here are basically hidden in shadows, but we see Mike's face: he's afraid of Suzie's dad for more reasons than just the obvious.

Once inside, we see Mike censor himself from saying "holy shit," changing it to "holy heck." Going back to the opening lines at this house, Mike suggested that Argyle is the one that would have to change his behavior around Suzie's family, but no. We see Argyle act completely genuine with no suppression of how he always acts and he does perfectly okay inside the house. Mike, on the other hand, has to suppress his language, but what else? We see Mike shifting away from Will when he gets close. This is possibly the first and only time Mike moves away from Will like that in the entire show?? It would make sense that he would do this here, in the office of a man that gets angry at a kid for dating the wrong person according to his religion, with a religious painting right behind their heads.

Running down the stairs, as mentioned by @dinitride-art, Mike pushes himself as far away from Suzie's father as possible. Will on the other hand, looks him right in the face, going back to the idea that Will feels more comfortable with his sexuality now in the face of people that might disagree with it.

And then we see Will putting his hand on Mike's back, almost to comfort him, as if he knows Mike felt uncomfortable in that house.

In conclusion, being in Suzie's house with her big Mormon family was Mike's big "when you're different you feel like a mistake" moment, but he looked to Will for comfort, and Will provided it, making Mike feel like he's not a mistake at all.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #mike wheeler is gay #suzie's house

[low-keygee]

i am once again here to offer things about the thing 1982.

probably gonna be shorter bc i’m at work and don’t have much for this but i just needed it out of my brain.

at the very end of the movie when macready and childs are leant up against the barrels, they both share the sentiment of how tired they both are from the cold, the final showdown, the everything. i feel like macready letting on just how tired he is to childs was something of a last word, to let his vulnerabilities show.

in macready’s background he was a pilot in the vietnam war which was meant to explain why he was awake when the dogs were being attacked and why he tells the group after having been locked out that he’s a “real light sleeper”. so he obviously isn’t afraid to acknowledge what the war has done to him in that regard. but the end of the movie, plus this next scene show a bit of humanity for him.

when the drunken macready is recording the cassette for someone to find if/when they have been taken over/die/what have you. he talks about how the storm has been constant for two days and the long johns windows finds until he releases a small bit of what he’s feeling to the cassette.

“nobody.. nobody trusts anybody now. and we’re all very tired.”

he plays the tape back and starts speaking into it again, indicating he tapes over that line before saying “there’s nothing else i can do”.

macready’s insomnia really does seem to be a weak point for him. as much as everyone is aware of his poor sleeping habits, he doesn’t seem to want to admit just how tired he is. how powerless he feels in that regard.

in the defibrillator scene a while afterwards childs antagonizes mac with sleep (“you’re gonna have to sleep sometime macready”) which is where we get “i’m a real light sleeper” which then leads into a vague threat that mac never finishes (“and if anyone tries to wake me…”) which may mean the line prior is just meant to be taken more metaphoric (i think is the right word) than literal. like if childs tries to stir the outpost into taking out mac, mac will then do his dot dot dot.

then (i believe) the last mention is at the very end of the movie.

mac can hardly speak loud enough for childs to hear, his voice doesn’t hold the same command it has throughout the movie. he’s very much leaning against the barrels for support and is out of breath. he’s freezing, running on likely zero hours of sleep, after having faced off with the thing and sprinting out of the outpost before it blows. and he admits to childs as they both sit in the snow, knowing death will come soon for them both whether it be at the hands of the cold or the man before him, that he’s tired.

“if we’ve got any surprises for each other, i don’t think we’re in much shape to do anything about it”

“well.. what do we do?”

“why don’t we just.. wait here a little while. see what happens.”

mac finally lets on how tired he really is and lets himself sit and share a drink with childs before he dies in the snow.

i think his military past is important to talk about in this context as well. he was likely either taught or learned not to let on any weakness as a soldier as it would only earn him a knife in the back (hehe clark reference) and after leaving both the military and his previous job as a helicopter pilot to work at the outpost all he knew to do for his pain was to drown it in booze. he left to work at a research station where all he had to worry about was the weather and staying sober enough to take the chopper up. don’t think about macready being a war vet wanting peace of mind at a quiet research outpost in antarctica don’t think about it.

there’s been a few theories that childs was a thing and macready was testing him with a malatov cocktail but i think that they both died as men, and macready was able to rest knowing he’d served his outpost well.

idk if this was anything or if i’m reading too deep into mac’s 3 comments about sleep but his moment with the cassette and at the very end with childs always makes me so so sad and i needed to say the words out loud bc i heard a song that reminded me of mac 🫶

#the thing 1982 #the thing #horror #cosmic horror #rj maccready #the thing childs #jesus christ its 12:30am #headcanon #film theory #childs the thing #macready #this is long #sorry not sorry

[roseburning]

Where did you get those scars?

(Context: Severus survived and Harry is visiting him in the hospital. For whatever medical reason, Sev is shirtless.)

"Where did you get those scars?" Asked Harry, pointing to some irregular white lines in Severus' left arm.

"Hmhn?" Severus looked at his arm. "Let's say Bellatrix used to practice her spell in whatever — or whoever — was nearest, which sometimes happened to be me."

"What about these one?" Harry's gaze went followed the lines up Severus' arm, until his chest, where they met more straight lines, but these ones where of a different color, as if they were older.

Severus took longer to answer this time, but when he did, his answer was short and cold. "Werewolf."

"YOU WERE BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF?!"

"No, I was attacked by a werewolf. There a difference, these are claw marks."

"Ah." A awkward silent fell upon them. Harry raised his hand towards a red spot on the skin near his belly, but Snape he growled irritably before he could say anything.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, one's from Sirius, okay? He blasted me over, it's burn scar." Said Seveus. Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted. "And before you ask, the ones on the hips are from your father."

Harry said nothing, surprised, but somehow not surprised by this. He had seen Snape's memories, after all. He knew what he's father was capable of.

Snape sighed. "In case you're thinking, I have a scar from rat bite on my heel. I guess that's complete the collection."

"I wasn't." Harry looked down, but before he could get up to leave, Snape started talking again.

"And this one," He showed him his right hand, there was a small white line between the thumb and index finger. "This one's from Lily."

"My mum hurt you? I thought you loved her." Harry said with sarcasm.

"And I do." Replied Snape. "Your mother was a a witch of many talents, but I wouldn't trust her with a muggle knife. We were nine."

#anti marauders #pro snape #Snape lives #Snape survives #Harry Potter & Severus Snape #Scars

[public-trans-it]

If you are trans, how do you have an alter that isn't? (I'm asking out of ignorance and genuine curiosity, not malice. I know you haven't had the best anons lately)

Thank you for the parenthetical on that one. I didn't read it that way at all, but I appreciate someone going out of their way to specify that it's just curiosity and not someone sealioning. I also just love parentheticals in general. Feel free to ask more, or DM me! I'm happy to go into more depth.

The answer is quite simple: I'm just gonna force femme him, duh. (Okay, no, not really)

Read More

A warning upfront: This post is likely going to be written by multiple alters. Expect sudden shifts in tone, as well as shifts between first - and third-person perspectives. It's also gonna be a lot of rambling. I'm going to fucking hate it tbh. But I'm also more than happy to elaborate on specifics. The joys of having conflicting opinions on a single topic.

For context, this ask is in reply to this previous post I made about DID, how I feel names relate to it, and how i feel my experience differs from other peoples. In it, I mention that not all of my alters are trans.

It just feels... cringe. Like, I know that is probably certainly internalized ablism. But any time I discuss my own internal thought processes and the fact that there are just straight up other versions of me in there, I can't help but think I feel like one of those really awkwardly written teenagers in media who like... pretend to be possessed by demons and stuff. Part of it is also a little bit of fear.

That was... a bit of an oversimplification. It is rather difficult to go into detail, especially when the alter in question is the one who least likes talking about the experience of being plural.

While I don't talk about it with others, and will absolutely interrupt any attempts to map it out, I AM at least somewhat aware of how my system is shaped and who is in it. And that not everyone who used to be in it is still in there. There are versions of myself that are just... gone. And I know one of the things that results in that is too much internal reflection. So I just... don't.

Am I trans? I mean, Ceetee is, and I'm Ceetee, so probably. But I'm also the one who doesn't have that luxury. I'm the one who has to go to work. I'm the one who has to go by He/Him pronouns. I'm the one who answers when someone calls our deadname. And that is too important a part to risk losing to introspection, and the effect that has on us.

We are on HRT, the body we are in is going to change. We are looking forward to potentially going under the knife in the future. Lipofilly, vaginoplasty, etc. That's going to complicated things. I genuinely don't even know if I will still exist after that. I have plans on how to handle our social transition, that might make it smoother, but... again, I don't have the privilege of thinking on it too much.

Its... really difficult to write this out honestly. All of our discussion happens internally, thanks to us losing our amnesiac barrier a few years ago (thank God for that. Huge increase to our quality of life.) We would probably benefit from just making a discord server for just us, and using pluralkit or the like to talk with each other. But the idea of differentiating each other externally is HORRIFYING.

So instead, I'm the one handling our HRT. I have to, because he isn't willing to for the reasons mentioned above. And I can't even really discuss it well because he gets in the way a lot. Which I don't fault him for, it's his job, it's literally why he exists, and the several years I went with him not being involved socially were... extremely rough. I genuinely feel privileged to have him taking the brunt of all that for me. The nice thing about DID is it's actually a GREAT way to delegate tasks. If he represents the parts of us that don't have the privilege of changing, I can represent the parts of us that can.

But the truth is, all of us in here are undergoing an HRT we don't actually WANT. It gets us closer to a more comfortable body to live in, but it will never be possible to achieve a body ALL of us are happy with. We all have different gender goals, and as long as we are all stuck in the same body, there is no such thing as 'Gender affirmation'. That's why I use the label Aegogender. Looking it up, there is... not a lot of description of it. But for me, it has a very clear interaction with dissociative disorders.

I'm not genderless. Every single one of us in here has a gender. And they are not all the same. Which means our system cannot have a single gender. ANY transition will, by definition, go against the goals of others in the system. There is no way for all of us to be happy in this body, as long as we all have to share a single body. My "true" ideal body, would be an incorporeal hivemind piloting 3 or 4 bodies. Leaving us all connected to each other, but with our own individuality.

This is, obviously, NOT POSSIBLE. So HRT is the compromise.

Every single one of us is trans, even the one still going by He/Him and using our deadname. And so, just becoming something DIFFERENT is good enough for now. No solution has to be perfect forever. If we need to do something different in the future, we can just do something different in the future! We don't NEED to figure all of this out now.

I mentioned in the tags of my detransition post that I have a lot more complicated feelings about detransition. This is why. I fundamentally identify more with the concept of being a creature capable of change, than I do with any single gender.

Which means... once I transition, I'll almost certainly end up transitioning again. From what to what? I have NO IDEA. Will I end up detransitioning? Maybe. Will I end up pursuing some completely different presentation? Maybe. I dont know. I'm not that person yet.

I'm just gonna have to wait and see who manages to last that long, and what is best for all of us.

#this got EXTREMELY personal and intimate #which isnt to say dont read it #im happy to be an open book #this shit is COMPLICATED and even a single person seeing themselves in this and feeling seen makes it worth the effort to write #so... thank you for the chance to talk about this anon #i kinda thought i would keep it bottled up for a lot longer #and tbh i am still keeping some of the detrans gender feels bottled #but... ah well. what can ya do? #text essay #gender #plurality #detransition

[bigbelsammy]

Let me be open with you for a second

As you all know, my name is Samantha. That name was not given to me by my parents, but rather it is the name I chose for myself.

At the age of 11 I experience my first crush on a male, at the time I thought I was gay but then at the age of 13 I realized I was still able to have crushes in girls. So I realized I was bisexual

The guy I had a crush on was 4 years older than me. And I was extremely fond of him, so much so that I adopted his look, and made it my own. That’s why I love wearing plaid shirts.

I used to disguised this attraction by saying that he was like an older brother to me. That was my excuse but deep down, I had a crush on him just like any 11 year old would have a crush on their babysitter let’s say

But then at 15, my world shattered.

For more context; I was born to immigrants. My parents immigrated to Canada when I was very little, I don’t remember much of our home country. I grew up without grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts.

Because I never had these connections, and because I changed schools so frequently due to dad’s work, I was never able to make friends.

I was a very lonely kid.

My parents and siblings were my whole world, and I came to realize that without them, I would have no purpose

So back to 15. My parents divorced. My Dad called the cops on my mom for false accusations of domestic abused. My mom tried laying charges back for mental domestic abuse as well. I remember talking to one of the cops, asking if I was okay. I don’t remember my response….

My dad left us after that night. He went onto live outside and we rarely ever saw him.

That same year, me 15, my sister 11, and my brother 7 were faced with a choice that should never ever be imposed on any child; mom or dad

If we chose dad, mom threatened to go back to our home country and we would never see her again. But if we chose mom, we still had the possibility to see dad. The choice was clear

And although we chose mom, she made it next to impossible for us to form any sort of bond with dad

I hated her for this, I hated her immensely. She fell into a severe depression, and was taking meds at the times for which she became addicted to.

Every night, for the next year, I had to sleep close to the kitchen. She would walk there in the middle of the night and grab a knife. I caught her once about to commit suicide.

It was the darkest time of my life.

I fell into my own depression. But my life, my well being was put on hold.

I failed most classes in high school but I didn’t care. I had to find a job because mom wouldn’t.

I found something at a daycare, and gained a decent salary to help buy groceries, because of this, I was unable to build up enough credit to attend university. So I gave up on it.

My relationship with mom deteriorated further, and so did mine with my siblings.

Subconsciously I took on the role of a parent figure for them but they did not see it that way. I was trying to protect them from mom, but they didn’t think I was. And so my relationship with my siblings, specially with my brother, broke

My world was shattered. The only people I knew were fighting and moving apart from each other. I fell into a depression that I never bothered to get checked

I attempted suicide myself many times. But everytime I would do it, I would say to myself “they need me. I can’t go yet”

That kept me going

I joined the army to be able to provide even more, my salary was good. I was able to provide with food and rent. I stayed in for 5 years. And I left due to them not paying me on time in several occasions

During this time I had cut dad completely out of my life. Mom kept showing me court documents trying to brainwash me into thinking my dad was and I quote “the worst human being to ever exist and if I don’t see it, I must be as bad as him”

During the summer of 2021 I decided to stop the army work. I enrolled in a trade school for something I had a passion on, but was not my dream job; a mechanic. And in the month of January 2022, I started classes

At this time I had already made this blog without really thinking much of it. But I also had more time to explore my mind.

I realized there was so much more than what I thought, my sexuality for one.

I started wondering why kids in my school always treated me like a girl, saying I’m “too girly to be a boy”. Why I loved wearing long hair and it made me feel better about myself. Why wearing a towel as a skirt made me feel nice

I talked to a couple of people and then realized, I might be trans.

May 25, 2022. I start a discord server, for which people rapidly started joining.

I was this enigmatic server owner people knew next to nothing about. Some started thinking that I was a woman behind the screen, for the way I talked and treated others in and I quote “a motherly way”

This made me feel better, and made me realized finally; I was a trans woman.

With that in mind, I knew if I told my family, they would not accept it. So I went months practicing makeup, dressing the way I wanted to dress, all in secret.

Moving to December 2022. My sister showed interest in what’s inside my head. I came out to her. I told her everything and she said “I did not know you had all this built up. Why didn’t you say anything?” Because nobody ever asked.

The thoughts of suicide started creeping up again. My friends online will remember this, and thank you again for saving me.

January 2023, I tell mom. And I tell dad. My dad at this point lives in a different province. I never see him anymore

Mom was not accepting of me, but she assured me that she would still love me, but would rather see me in boy clothes.

With all this, my family started distancing themselves because they could not believe that I was trans. Or rather they just didn’t wanna accept it.

I felt lonely

I felt scared

I felt anxious

I wanted to die

I had no more reason to keep living. My family didn’t want me around.

Last night… I could not see the light anymore. I don’t have a family to keep working for, they were my world and now they don’t want me.

I felt lonelier than I’ve ever felt before in my life. Ever.

I cried, and I screamed. My sister said to “submit to God” and brushed me aside

I walked up to my apartment. I grabbed a knife.. I looked at it for 30 minutes, trying to find a reason to stay. I couldn’t find one.

I placed the knife to my heart, but couldn’t do it. I layed on the floor, crying. And that’s when my brother came in, he was looking for something. And he found me. Asked me if I was okay, I said no…

I grabbed the knife once again, and he saw what I was doing, he took it away from me, and sat with me.

He saved my life last night.

When you lose a friend irl, you have at least the luxury of knowing, but someone online… they just wouldn’t show up anymore and you wouldn’t be able to know if they’re still around anymore or not.

Im sorry to all of you for almost doing that.

My life has been one with so much loneliness, I would never ever wish this on anyone. Ever. That is why I focus on helping others socialize, that is why that whenever someone comes to me for advice or because they need someone, I drop whatever the hell im doing, even if I’m crying my eyes out and go to talk to them.

I do so much, and rarely I ever get anything in return. But that is fine by me, because I’ve been able to build a community of people who now not only they follow this example, they send messages to me re-affirming what I believed; that I’ve saved them.

So thank you all for reading up to the end of this post. It was long and I won’t lie. But I had to make it.

You guys have helped me find myself, and have saved me before.

I promise to work on myself everyday so to stay with you all for as long as possible

Sam

[lulu2992]

Before things got better, they momentarily got worse…

(Although more violent things happen or have happened in Far Cry 5, I felt this needed a Mature Community Label, just to be safe)

Chronologically, this is the first time my Deputy Taylor’s story (you know, the one I’ll never fully write) really diverges from canon. This is also the least pleasant thing that happened between her and the Baptist.

Context and explanation under the cut:

While John is busy taking Hudson back to her “room”, Taylor manages to grab a knife in his toolbox (with her teeth) and to cut the ropes around her wrists. She considers leaving the Confession room to go look for her colleague, as we do in the game, but she quickly realizes that not only has she no idea where Hudson is, but that trying to find her way through an unknown, presumably huge bunker filled with cultists also isn’t the best idea. Instead, since the chair is still intact in this scenario, she decides to sit down, hold the ropes around her wrists to make it look like she’s still tied up, and wait for John to arrive so she can ask him where Hudson is… and maybe tie him up and steal his key, while she’s at it.

When he comes back, he seems relieved that she’s still here, and he politely (but not without a hint of irony) thanks her for her patience. She tenses when his eyes linger on the ropes for a few seconds, but he then simply smiles at her and asks if she’s ready to Confess her sins. She shrugs and replies that she doesn’t really have a choice.

“Very well,” he says. “But before we begin…”

He comes closer and leans over her, placing his hands on the ropes around her wrists.

“…did you really think that I wouldn’t notice?”

At this point, he’s not smiling anymore. Feeling suddenly cornered and in danger, Taylor pushes him over using her feet and a fight ensues, during which they mostly try to subdue (and not kill) each other. He’s a more powerful opponent than she expected him to be, partly because he’s absolutely furious that she “betrayed” him, and anger makes him stronger. At one point, he even manages to overpower her and, in pure rage, puts his hands around her neck.

A few seconds later, the Deputy’s survival instinct will cause her to deal a powerful blow to the Baptist’s left cheek, effectively knocking him out.

Taylor was wearing a t-shirt when she woke up in the bunker, but it was ripped open by John, as it is in the game, and she lost what was left of it in the fight. She even briefly used it as a “weapon” to try to make him lose his balance. That said, I want to stress that this scene isn’t supposed to look sexy, and they were too busy fighting to really pay attention to that anyway. John also lost his glasses that day, as you can see on the right of the picture.

I don’t know if you noticed the bruises on Taylor’s neck, on her knuckles, and on John’s cheek here, but if you did, that explains them.

Later in the story, when their Wrath has considerably subsided and their relationship has positively evolved, they will get to talk about this incident again so they can move forward together. Acknowledging your past helps you build a better future.

#I don’t want to overlook the ugly parts of their story #and I think they shouldn’t either #that’s how you grow #‘enemies to lovers’ means they were enemies after all #taylor rook #my deputy #the deputy #john seed #john seed x deputy #well not here obviously but it’s still part of their story #my art #fan art #traditional art #digital coloring #far cry 5 #the background is an edited screenshot #two edited screenshots actually #one from new dawn and the other from the arcade editor #I rebuilt part of the confession room for this #story: 'that fic I’ll never write' #drawn in january 2023 #this is the antepenultimate ‘old’ drawing! #will I manage to post them all before inktober? #I still like the lighting #but it’s too bad we can’t really see john’s outfit because I spent time on it #I struggled with his shoe and it’s barely visible :’)

[best-overplayed-song]

Re: Take Me To Church in response to anon-- a take by someone who first heard it a bit After it came out at the age of 20, was concerned it was overhyped, and on listening had to admit that it was in fact good. (Also disclaimer, I've got less context about like, Irish/English history and stuff than OP so uhhhh sorry this is just gonna be my own personal vibecheck)

Tw: sex mention.

A lot of my feelings on the song are more related to this bit: Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death and revolve around a. Possibly more sexual interpretation, so take that as you will (I was horny at 20 what can I say)

Okay first off let's talk about Why Church Is Horny. Religion and sex are both things that people often have a lot of feelings about. Christians specifically have even more feelings about sex, usually because they're saying it's bad. However, from a Catholic perspective, there's often a LOT of erotic imagery and stuff going on behind the scenes. See: lactating Jesus, saints' mysticism (for instance, Theresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena), and honestly just general medieval saints… people were SO horny for God. Plus, from an anti-sex Christian perspective, stuff still gets horny more often than you'd think. Milton was a Puritan, and that doesn't stop Paradise Lost from having originated Sexy Satan as a trope. All of which boils down to, coming from Christian, English-speaking cultural context a lot of your feelings about sex and religion, both of which carry enough baggage on their own, become intertwined.

So. All of that means you get the invocation of Christian stuff in the Bedroom anyway--lots of people say stuff like 'oh god' during sex, for instance. Think about the popularity too of the sexy nun trope, or even Destiel. A lot of people find desecration of the (Christian) holy, hot as shit, though it remains taboo.

For that reason! "Take Me To Church" being a song about sex?? About a woman referred to as a "lover," not a wife? Sex as worship? Get all those cultural hotbuttons pinged. (And that's just the first line we're looking at.)

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies Hoo boy. So, again, worship = sex? That's a lot as seen above. Invoking the dog imagery as part of deference to a woman also gets into stuff about gender roles, taboos, and the breaking thereof. There's a lot to unpack here-- deference of a man to a woman, of an animal to the holy, the admission that it is a shrine of lies, and tied into all that is the implied desire and consent to do these things. That's sexy!

I'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife Shame is a strong feeling-- one that comes up a lot when we look at this religion/sex network. Telling of sins evokes the Catholic sacrament of confession. And then we get to the knife. I don't know how to explain my interpretation of this without getting real kinky so uh, let's just say that pain and blood can have significant associations with both Christianity and sexuality, and the use of the knife thing in this context brings in Yet Another hot-button thing.

Offer me that deathless death I always just interpret this as euphemism for an orgasm. But! That's not to belittle it. Could a deathless death also be an assumption to heaven? In the context of the previous line(s), it takes on so many alternate connotations it's insane. Has he been stabbed for his sins? (That carried penetration imagery with it fyi.) Has he been forgiven his sins and gets to go to heaven? Or is it sexual release? With the ambiguity the song leaves, all three are possible, keeping up all those threads of violence/pain, shame, ecstasy, sex, divinity, submission… there's A LOT here.

Anyway I'm gonna stop there cuz this is too long. I don't even like this song THAT much, I'm just here to explain why people do.

OH YEAH AND PS: ADD TO ALL OF THIS THE SHAME/RELIGION/SEX FEELINGS AND ASSOCIATIONS CAUSED BY THE LISTENER BEING QUEER okay bye

I loved reading your interpretation! Thanks for the breakdown!

#asks #song propaganda

[camillescreations]

PART 2 of my ofmd teaser analysis!

Now let's go back to my baby Stede! So he sends the message in a bottle, declaring his love and adoration for Ed. It seems he lies awake thinking about Ed, too. And he defends Ed, saying that he doesn't care what any of the crew say, Ed's a good guy. Obviously the crew, especially Olu and Back Pete, are gonna be like "HE LEFT US. ON AN ISLAND. TO DIE." But Stede loves Ed too much to stay mad at him for long, as we can see from the trailer. The crew likely told Stede about what Ed did right away, but Stede doesn't seem to be holding a grudge. Which I think is good! It means there's less animosity from Stede's side (unless the whole Lucius thing derails that). Then we have the infamous "I did a punch!" snippet.

LOOK AT HIM IN HIS JACKET BEING PIRATEY. I love him so much! But who is Stede talking to? Well, Izzy of course!

We can see that this shot of Izzy is in the same scene. Also this one, where you can see Stede fighting the rando knife guy and Izzy in the doorway, watching.

This means that Stede, and likely the rest of the crew, reunited with the Revenge! But my guess is that this is after the storm, so Ed isn't there. It's possible Ed hasn't been there for a while. Again, I'll try and guess the order of events at the end of my analysis in the next part. But this means that, at the very least, Jim and Olu will be back together! We'll have to see if Lucius is alive or not and we get a Black Pete x Lucius moment.

Okay next! So in another scene, we see Izzy and Stede in a room which I assume is on the Revenge, and Izzy is demonstrating his swordsmanship. I think that Izzy is teaching Stede how to fight with a sword! That'll be cool to see. Seems like the grumpy gus has warmed up to Stede, just a bit.

And we also get this cute shot of Stede in front of what I saaume is a mirror, admiring his new red coat (that he likely stole from whatever ship they were on). He's like "ooh something fancy again!" And does a little half twirl, so cute 😭

And then we have two shots of Stede and Ed on what appears to be the same beach at possibly the same time! Though it seems like the sky is stormier in Ed's photo.

I'm guessing this is the same beach because of the sand (the vanity fair article mentioned a black sand beach!) And the trees. And look at our boy Stede firing a gun! He has different clothes on, too! Loving the pirate look on him. Their opponents also seem to be British (or just navy) soldiers!

My fanfiction-loving heart says they're running to each other but I know they probably aren't... a girl can dream!

This black sand beach could be where Ed washed up, and it could be where Stede and Ed reunite. Or this may be the "final battle" near the end, after they've already reunited. Hopefully them reuniting isn't too far into the season!

And then there are a bunch of miscellaneous shots that I don't want to go over too heavily, (I'll just touch on three of them) but we see a shot of Stede being held by Anne Bonny, and it almost looks like she just kissed him?? Don't know about that. I'm dying to know the context of this scene. Stede looks either terrified or in shock lol. Either way he doesn't look happy!

And I think we know who is wearing the mermaid tail now! Get it Wee John!

And of course the ending scene where Stede appears to be screaming? And I'm guessing this is later in the season because it seems like he's wearing his dark shirt. What's happening to him? I wonder if this scene is humorous or serious.

Continued in Part 3! Final part!

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death season 2 #our flag means death #gentlebeard #stede x ed #blackbonnet #ed x stede #edward teach #stede bonnet #trailer analysis #analysis