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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 year

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A Fresh Start [15]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: self doubt, anxiety, PTSD-esque panic attack, talk of medical trauma

Word Count: 6,035

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

#15: MANDO LOOKS LIKE HE KNOWS HOW TO FUCK

Chapter Summary: The time has come to talk about your past, but you can’t imagine a world where the Marshal doesn’t hate you for what you’ve done. Nima is Nima.

“I think we made a perfect fit because we were both broken, had we been whole, we wouldn’t have connected like we did.” -Eric Inzunza

It had been a wild 24 hours for you. Grogu got sick, your Marshal Mandalorian took his helmet off to cuddle up beside you in the bathroom with said sick child, said Marshal Mandalorian then told you his name, pirates invaded the outskirts of Nevarro, you threatened a cowardly doctor with blackmail you garnered from your past, Grogu got sicker, you held a medical tech at blaster point, you worked with medicine for the first time in over a year, Grogu got better, then you and Din Djarin got handsy in the bathroom. The chaotic whirlwind of events had your head spinning, but that very last encounter grounded you fairly well. If someone had told you that you’d go from learning your boss’ name to letting him strip you nearly bare in the bathroom a day later you would’ve laughed.

“Mando!” You called out to the man getting dressed back in the rooms. The man who had to get dressed because you had been in the process of taking his clothes off. Oh, your brain was not functioning enough to really grasp this at all. “It’s Karga!”

The introduction of the High Magistrate into this tricky equation only baffled you further. He stood in the foyer, dressed in his rather gaudy robes, while you stood in front of him wearing only Din’s shirt. You tugged down the edges of his shirt to further cover yourself. Maybe if Din’s warm hands hadn’t broken your brain you would’ve thought to grab a blanket to cover yourself. Or pants.

“He’s getting⏤” You paused. It would look pretty damning if you told him Din was in the process of getting dressed. Though, the state you were in was probably already pretty damning. “Mando will be here in a second.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m actually here for you.” Karga replied. “How’s Grogu?”

You blinked in a poor attempt to jump from the first statement to the casual question. “Good.” You blurted. “Stable.” You kept repeating the word ‘stable’ and you wondered if it was in part due to trying to convince yourself. Grogu was stable. Grogu was safe. Grogu was healing. You motioned over your shoulder. “Would you mind if I stepped out to grab a pair of pants?”

Not a question you thought you’d be asking the High Magistrate of Nevarro, but as you had already realized this was not a predictable 24 hours.

“I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, I insist.” Karga replied.

“Great.” You pulled Din’s shirt down further and rushed away.

On your way back to the rooms, you nearly collided with a wall of beskar. Before you could stumble back, Din grabbed your upper arm to catch you. The firm grip of his gloved hand had your face growing warm which was absolutely ridiculous compared to where he had tried to put his hands only minutes ago. Din, unaware of the effect he had on you, shook his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Um, I need pants.”

“No, you don’t.” Din replied without missing a beat. You narrowed your eyes at him, glanced down at himself, then looked back up in question. Din leaned in, keeping his voice low, “We’re not done, ner kar’ta.” That same powerful wave of desire returned. The way his voice alone could make your toes curl… “Wait for me. I won’t be long with Karga.”

You were so stupid drunk off the thought of him alone, you almost nodded in agreement. Reality settled back into place though, and you shook your head. “I can’t. Karga isn’t here for you. He’s, apparently, here for me?”

Din was silent for a second before he began to pass you. “I’ll handle this.”

Though you liked the idea of Din sending Karga away for whatever reason he was here, you were beginning to grow curious as to why the High Magistrate was interested in you at all. You were fairly certain, up until now, that he only knew you as Grogu’s nanny. The thought was sobering. Grogu’s nanny. That’s where this all started⏤ that was the island that had gotten lost in the horizon as you sailed out to grasp the connection you had with the child’s father.

Not now. You’d save those terribly, depressing thoughts for a day you weren’t riding a high⏤ a day where you didn’t know what Din’s rough hands felt like against your skin. Quickly, you rushed back into the bathroom to find and slip your pants back on before heading back to the living room.

Karga had entered in further, but he remained standing by the couch. He was the picture of casual nonchalance, but Din’s entire body seemed stiff. This only seemed to worsen when you drifted closer and the High Magistrate’s attention focused on you.

“There she is. Woman of the hour! And wearing pants this time⏤”

“Karga.” Din snapped.

Karga waved a finger at the Mandalorian. “I jest, my old friend. Is a little teasing not allowed?” Din didn’t respond. You took that as a sign to also not respond. Karga shook his head with a sigh. “Straight to business, as always.”

You stepped closer and set a hand on Din’s arm. “What can I help you with, High Magistrate?”

“I always liked her.” Karga said to Din before smiling at you. “Which is why I’d like to offer you a job. It seems Nevarro is short one physician.” The hand you set on Din to reassure him fell to your side in shock. Had he just⏤? Your chest felt tight and you swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. “Well, more than just one physician short, I should say. Technically, on this entire planet, we only have one broken droid and a physician who likes to play nanny.”

“Karga!” Din snapped again.

You shook your head. “I’m not⏤”

“Oh, we’re past denial. Aren’t we?” Karga asked. Then, he said your name. Din’s head turned to stare at you as well, but all you could focus on was the feeling of the blood running out of your face. Were you falling? It felt like you were falling head over heels. The room was beginning to tilt. Karga reached into his robes’ pocket and held up a holopad. You recognized your face. It was the picture used on your medical badge back when you were employed. Karga had your whole work file right there in his hands. Your charade was crumbling right before your eyes. “I know everything, Doctor. Honestly, I’m impressed. Your marks and experience could get you a job damn near anywhere in this galaxy, and there’s a transcript here saying the court settled in your favor. You never lost your license. Plus, you’re quite the fighter as well.”

You were going to be sick. Nausea caused your stomach to churn uncomfortably.

“You had no right, Karga.” Din barked. “What makes you think you can⏤”

“High Magistrate or not, I think you’re forgetting my roots, Mando.” Karga raised an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t become one of the most renowned agents of the guild by playing nice or respecting boundaries.” He glanced at you and gave you a half hearted shrug. “It’s not personal. I do what I must to get what I need. And right now, that’s you.”

“I have to⏤ I⏤” You took a shaky step back. Din reached out for you, but you quickly took another to keep from his grasp. His hand closed around air, and you immediately felt bad for dodging him. Still, you couldn’t be here. Not right now. Not with the room closing in. You turned and rushed away.

Din watched you hurry out of the room and he had to resist the urge to turn around and maim Karga. He glared at his old friend, hands balled up into fists, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nevarro needs a medical team, Mando. We can’t ship off every emergency.”

“Then hire some new ones from off world.” Din replied through clenched teeth.

“I’m trying, but it’s a hard sell.” Karga scoffed. “Do you know how perfect she is? An incredible physician too traumatized to get the job she truly deserves in the Inner Rim⏤” Din snapped at him, but he didn’t stop. “And now she has ties here? At first I figured it was just Nima, but now I suppose she has you as well. I assume that’s why you’re in such a foul mood. I interrupted something.”

Din lunged forward and before a thought could occur he had Karga’s robes bunched into his fist. He resisted actually hitting the man, and Din could see on Karga’s face that the man knew he had overstepped. Karga held his hands up in surrender. One still holding the holopad.

“I’m sorry, friend.” Karga said simply. “You must understand how desperate I am right now. No community can thrive without proper medical care. Maker forbid something awful happens before I can convince a different physician to come.” Din shoved Karga back and set his hands on his hips. Karga held out the holopad to him. “Aren’t you curious about her past? Don’t you want to know more about her?”

“I do.” Din replied. He took the holopad from Karga and kept it by his side. “But only if she wants to share it with me. Now, get out of our house.”

Karga gave a small nod before backpedaling away. Din was set to turn and find you, but he stopped when Karga called out to him. The High Magistrate offered a small smile as some kind of peace offering, but his words were more a salve than his emotion. “I have my feelers out looking for Daelar. Not a public bounty, but a private one. You wanna know when I find him?”

“Yes.” Din replied. “Bring me the puck.”

“I thought you weren’t a bounty hunter anymore.”

“I’m not. This is personal.” Din said. “He put my family in danger. He doesn’t get to walk away from that.”

Karga smirked. “Now, there’s the bloodthirsty Mandalorian I know and love.”

Without another word, he left and Din was stuck standing alone in his living room. He wasn’t sure how such an incredible start to his morning could turn sour so quickly, but it wasn’t worth exploring. Din needed to check in on you.

The plan had been to barrel through the house and put as much distance between you and that holopad as possible⏤ even if it meant breaking through the patio glass doors, hopping the small fence, and escaping into the neighboring lava plains. The only thing that stopped you, the only thing that could stop you, was the quiet whine you’d recognize anywhere. Grogu. You came to a skidding stop outside Din’s bedroom door and immediately rushed in. The child was shifting in his hammock, fussy. It only took you seconds to gather him into your arms and at your touch he fell back into a restful slumber.

Rocking him carefully, you carried him out of the bedroom and continued down the hall until you reached the glass doors that led out to a small back patio. You didn’t come out here often. Though maybe you would start. There was a small, round table with a few matching metal chairs surrounding it. You had a view of the lava plains, could even see a bit of the hot springs, and it was peaceful. That’s how you should feel right now. At peace. You had Grogu sleeping in your arms, no fever and no cough, and the morning air was comfortably warm and quiet.

But Grogu was a reminder of the patient you had once failed, and the quiet left room for Karga’s words to echo loudly in your head. There was a little voice at the back of your mind whispering that you needed to run. You needed to flee. If you weren’t known, then you weren’t in danger. However, things weren’t so simple anymore. The little boy sleeping in your arms was evidence of that. Realistically, Grogu was not yours. He was the child you were paid to care for and since this was technically just a job it should be easy to turn in a resignation and walk away. Emotionally, this was not the case.

Even with the knowledge that Karga was familiar with your entire past, you couldn’t bring yourself to start planning an off world escape. You traced the tip of your finger down the bridge of his nose. You were foolish to let your walls down⏤ to grow so attached. The door behind you slid open and Din stepped out.

“Grogu is alright.” You said before he could ask. “I think he’ll be up soon. He got fussy when I was walking by so I grabbed him.” The other seat was across the table from you. Rather than just sit, Din picked up the metal chair by the back and pulled it closer so he’d be right beside you. You couldn’t bare to bring your gaze up, away from Grogu, to the man beside you. “I’m thinking we should keep him out of school tomorrow. See how he’s feeling then.”

Din’s hand entered your view and he settled it on your thigh. It was technically similar to the hold he had you in earlier, while kneeling in front of you, but this was one born of comfort rather than lust. He squeezed your thigh then spoke, “How are you feeling, ner kar’ta?”

A dry chuckle fell from your lips. “You know my name now. You don’t have to use nicknames anymore.”

“Not knowing your name had nothing to do with my choice in what to call you.” Din replied. “And knowing your name now is not the same as it being given to me. I understand the difference.”

There was something about his words that made tears spring to your eyes. Maybe it was the softness in his whispered tone or the unhindered understanding he seemed to share. Kriff, maybe it was just your emotional capabilities being shitty right now because of how devastating it was to hear Karga say your name, file in hand.

You lifted your eyes to meet the familiar t-shape of his visor. Briefly, you wished you could see his face. There was a weight in his gaze, despite not being able to see his eyes, and you wanted more than anything to see it rather than just feel it. As soon as the thought came to you, you felt ashamed. Din’s creed was important to him, and you shouldn’t be sitting here wishing it away for the sake of your comfort.

“It doesn’t bother you that you hired a stranger to be your nanny?” You asked⏤ your voice was shakier than you wanted it to be. “I lied to you. About my name, about my work experience. Though, I did say I worked in a medical clinic. So maybe I only lose half a point there.”

Din chuckled. “You don’t lose any points. I’m not keeping score.”

“Why aren’t you upset at me?” You shook your head. “After hearing all of that, all of a sudden, you should… I don’t know.”

“It wasn’t all of a sudden. I’ve had… suspicions.” Din said. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He sighed, “You don’t answer to Soran the way someone would if it were their actual name. You even called it out after a nightmare. Then, the way you reacted to being in a clinic and your thoughts on my choices of first aid care?” Din shook his head with another short chuckle. “Only someone with a medical background would care that much about the risks and benefits of bacta or cautery. There was also all of last night…”

You nodded. “I knew last night would’ve given me away. I didn’t think I had been so obvious about everything else though.”

“I just pay attention.”

“Must be an important talent for a bounty hunter.”

Din paused, his fingers tightening around your thigh once more, “It has nothing to do with my past work experience and everything to do with you.” Your cheeks warmed. “I pay attention to you.”

There was an intensity about Din Djarin that was surprisingly hypnotizing. With his tall broad frame, intimidating beskar armor, and blank helmet the intensity should be terrifying. Despite all that though, being the center of his attention was intoxicating. Almost enough so that you were nearly distracted from the topic at hand. You wished you could get lost in his attention, forget about the weight bearing down on your shoulders, but your eyes darted to the holopad Din had set on the table. Din turned his head to follow your gaze then shook his head.

“I didn’t read it. And, Karga didn’t say anything further about you.” Din reassured. “He wouldn't dare.”

“Right.” You chuckled. “Digging up my past is perfectly fine, but he wouldn’t ever cross the boundary of talking about me to others. Because he’s the respectful kind.”

“Because he knows I’d kriffing end his existence if he tried.”

Listening to a man threaten someone for your sake shouldn’t be as attractive as it was, and yet… You focused back on Grogu and lightly traced your fingers along the length of his ears. Din wasn’t the kind bothered by long silences. He was comfortable to sit there patiently as your brain racked itself for an answer or some next step to take. The entire time his thumb rubbed circles on your thigh.

“Do you…” You took a deep breath and looked back to the man beside you. “Do you want to know about…me?”

“I want to know everything you’re willing to share, ner kar’ta.” He replied. Din shifted so while one hand rested on your thigh the other rested on the back of your chair. It gave you the sensation of being cornered, but with Din that didn’t have a negative connotation. Rather than feeling trapped, you felt protected. As if Din was some kind of barrier between you and the world. “But, you don’t have to do this now. This should be something you share because you want to⏤ not because someone else pushed you into it. I’m sorry Karga did this.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I want…” You paused, and as the next words came to you it felt like a truth you hadn’t even realized you felt. “I think I want you to know. I just⏤” There was a lump in your throat that you had to swallow down before the rest of your sentence came out in a weak whisper. “I’m afraid you won’t see me the same anymore. It’s been so long. I’m afraid to⏤ to be known.”

“Don’t.” Din said firmly. “Don’t be. There is nothing you could say that would change how I⏤” He stopped himself from continuing and your eyebrows furrowed at the sudden cessation of his voice. Like he was choking on his own words. “Gar cuyir ner kar’ta. Ibac kelir draar am.”

You didn’t know what he said. You recognized the words he used as your newest nickname, but you were still clueless as to what that meant. Still, despite that, his words brought you a warm comfort. Din tended to slip into Mando’a when emotions rose or when speaking to Grogu. You wondered if it felt more natural to him to express himself in this language rather than Basic.

“I killed my best friend.” You blurted. If Din was caught off guard by your sudden admission, rather than you just questioning his Mando’a, he didn’t show it⏤ not that you’d be able tell through his helmet.

“Was her name Soran?” Din asked. You nodded once. “What happened?”

“There was an accident. Starship collision. It took out…” You shrugged. “We got swamped in the emergency room. That’s where I was working at the time. I saw patient after patient non-stop and then… then there was Soran. She came in⏤ she was dying. I tried to find a physician to take over. I knew I was too close to her to be⏤ but we all⏤ there was so much going on.” As the memory played out you felt your heart start to race. The smell of blood, bacta, and bitter antiseptic filled your nose. You would’ve fallen into the moment entirely if it weren’t for the firm grip squeezing your thigh once more. You took in a slow breath. “I was the only one available. I had to act and I did. But, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

“Ner kar’ta…”

A soft whimper from your arms made you glance down to see Grogu was beginning to rouse. He mumbled a few unintelligible words before one you recognized was spoken. “Buir…”

“Din.” You turned and motioned for him to take the boy. He didn’t hesitate to pull Grogu into his own arms and Grogu, in response, buried his face into the crook of Din’s neck. Your lips curled up into a small smile. “You should go in with him. Seeing your face would do him a lot of good.”

“You should come in too.” Din replied, rubbing his son’s back soothingly. “You need rest. The sleep on the cot couldn’t have been restful.”

You shook your head and stood. Din tilted his head to stare up at you. “I, um, I think I’m gonna take a walk.” Din began to speak, but you cut in. “I’m fine, Din. Really. I wanted to check on Nima anyways after the whole pirate attack.”

“Alright.” Din slowly stood. “Can I… Can I look at your file?”

You nodded with a shrug. “I already admitted to the worst of my sins. The file won’t have much else.”

With one arm holding Grogu to his chest, Din reached out to cup the side of your face. He lightly tugged you toward him so he could rest his forehead against yours. The cool bite of beskar against your flushed skin made you let out a soft sigh and your eyes fluttered closed to enjoy the moment of peace.

“Come home soon, ner kar’ta.”

This was a shitty day off. Karga really needed to learn the definition of ‘taking a break’. Honestly, it was partly Din’s fault for believing the man was truly going to let him have a full day of rest. It did feel more like a day off now. Din had taken off his armor, changed into a pair of comfortable house clothes, and now he lounged on the couch with Grogu babbling on his chest. His son had fully woken up from his extended nap, and he was nearly back to his usual, energetic self. Grogu was still a little clingier than normal, but that didn’t surprise Din nor did he mind it.

“Mhmm. Tell me all about it, ad’ika.” Din hummed while stroking his son’s ears. Every few words Grogu would make sense, but most of it was just a stream of constant babbling. Din nodded. “I know.”

This moment would feel like the perfect day off if it wasn’t for the lack of you and the dreadful holopad sitting on the couch beside him. Din knew there had to be more to the story. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you. Maker, after last night there was no one he trusted more. Din just had a gut feeling that you were the kind to carry guilt even when it wasn’t yours to carry. He knew if this truly were the case, then any story you told him would be painted with a negative light toward yourself.

“Ma?” Grogu suddenly asked. Din sighed and readjusted so the one hand that wasn’t scratching his son’s back was resting behind his head. He couldn’t find it himself to be upset over this newest revelation over your past. Logically, maybe he should be, but you still felt like you. From the beginning, Din knew you had been hiding something and that something had saved his son’s life. Din had no room to complain. He was more disappointed that his morning had gone into a different direction than it started. When Din didn’t offer Grogu a real answer the boy reached out to pat Din on the cheek repeatedly⏤ your title emphasized with each pat. “Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma.”

Din chuckled and sat up quickly. Grogu squealed in laughter when Din rubbed his face against his son’s belly, tickling him, then cradled him closer. Maker, he was so relieved to hear Grogu laugh rather than cough. “I miss ma too, ad’ika. She’ll be back soon.” Grogu grumbled and huffed an annoyed sigh. Din chuckled and lightly tapped his forehead against Grogu’s. “Ma did such a good job of taking care of you, didn’t she?”

“ ‘lek.”

“She’s incredible, huh?” Din breathed. Grogu wiggled out of his grip to jump onto the floor and began to waddle away. He called out ‘Ma’ as he waddled toward the hallway toward the bedrooms⏤ as if he didn’t believe that she was actually away. Din’s hand drifted to his chest where one of his larger scars lay and he could still feel your touch ghosting over it. If he closed his eyes he could imagine your lips tenderly brushing against every scar you found on him.

Maker, why did Karga have to show up when he did? The High Magistrate couldn’t have waited an hour more? Two? Karga was worse than a cold shower.

Din reached back to grasp the holopad and brought it into focus. When he turned it on, your smiling face greeted him. In the head shot, your hair was pulled away from your face and you wore a pair of light green scrubs and a white coat. His eyes traced the lines that made up your name and he rolled it around his mind⏤ not daring to say it out loud. It suited you much better than the name Soran did. Still, you hadn’t offered the name for him to use so he wouldn’t. Besides, he liked using terms of endearment for you. Din liked the way your face would brighten every time he referred to you in Mando’a.

“Ma! Where?” Grogu called out. Din looked up from the holopad to see Grogu waddling back with his stuffed frog. He must have gotten side tracked in his search for you to grab it. “Buir, mar’eyir Ma!”

Din chuckled. “I told you. Ma will be back soon. Come here, you little womp rat.” Grogu grumbled, but he did return. Din scooped him up with one arm and Grogu burrowed his head into his side. “Kai’tomyc, ad’ika?”

Grogu shook his head and mumbled a soft ‘no’. It was odd for him to turn down any offer for food. That must be the last remaining sign of his illness. Din didn’t think he’d ever miss having to stop his son from trying to small critters whole, but he’d give anything to be chasing Grogu down right now. Things would be back to normal once the boy’s appetite returned.

Din leaned back against the couch once more, gently rocking Grogu in one arm, while tapping through the holopad with his other hand. You had given him permission to read through the holopad, and Din planned to soak up every single fact about you that he was allowed to know.

Nima lived on the other side of Nevarro, closer to Peli’s shop, but the walk gave you time to think. You were trying to figure out if this was considered running. If Grogu hadn’t started waking up, would you have kept going? What was left of your story? There wasn’t much else to say about Soran, and there was zero part of you that wanted to delve into how you got your scar. The way Din offered you comfort, his kind words and firm touches, no part of you felt like running from that. And, you did really want to check on Nima and give him time with Grogu. Maybe you weren’t running.

Not yet, at least.

There was always the chance Din would think about it during the time you were gone, replay your words in his head, and come to his senses. Realize that he had hired a lying stranger to care for his child. Din said nothing would make him view you different, but what if that had just been a spur of the moment comfort? What if he came to see you as an irresponsible threat?

Your spiraling bad thoughts came to halt when Nima’s door was in view. In hopes that she could distract you further, you quickly knocked on the door. It took a couple minutes before you heard Nima’s rushed footsteps. A second later the door cracked open and Nima’s face poked through. Her dark eyes widened.

“Oh. Hey.” She greeted. “What’re you doing here?”

“I just wanted to check in on you. After the⏤ the pirate ordeal.” You crossed your arms tight over your chest. “Are you okay?”

Nima shrugged. “Yeah. Better than okay. The last 24 hours have worked out great for me.” Her lips turned out into a wide grin. “I got to fly the N1 which was super cool and then… then other things happened. Uh, are you okay? How’s Grogu? I heard he was sick.”

“Grogu is good. Stable.” You nodded. You were surprised to hear she flew Din’s ship and even more surprised to hear she knew about Grogu. Only a few people knew about that right now. “Well, since you’re alright…”

Nima stepped out onto her porch and glanced back through the cracked door, as if looking for someone, then shut it. It was then you noticed she had only a robe on. Her head tilted and her eyes narrowed in a familiar concern. “You didn’t tell me if you were okay. What’s going on?”

“I’ve had a… weird night.” You admitted.

Your old friend motioned for you to take a seat on the small bench sitting on her small front porch. You sat down and she dropped down right beside you. With no hesitation, you began to ramble about everything starting with waking up to Grogu being sick all the way to Karga turning your world upside down. When your story came to an end, you glanced over at Nima to see she was beaming at you with wide and excited eyes.

“What⏤”

“You and the Marshal!?” She cried.

“Is that the only part you heard?” You sighed. “Did you miss the part where Karga might be bullying me into being the town’s doctor??”

Nima scoffed. “As if you’d let him bully you into anything. As if Mando would ever let him bully you into anything. Especially now!” She bounced in her seat once. “Oh, I knew the two of you had chemistry! I just knew it!” Nima grasped at your arm. “How was he? I don’t know what it is, but Mando looks like he knows how to fuck, if you know what I mean.”

“We didn’t.”

“But you just said⏤”

“We… didn’t.” You said slowly. “We almost did. If I hadn’t stopped him I’m pretty we would’ve…” You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the words. Nima squealed and your face grew even hotter. You shook your head. “And then I had my hands literally in his pants when Karga showed up so⏤”

Nima cried out and covered her face. “Oh kriffing hell! I don’t know who I’m more pissed at!” She dropped her hands to shove you. “You for stopping Mando or Karga for cock blocking you.”

“I had to stop him.” You replied.

“No, you absolutely did not! You⏤”

“The moment was…” You interrupted her to try and put what you felt into words. “I’ve never felt like that before. Just from a man taking my clothes off.”

Nima narrowed her eyes at you. “You’ve never felt turned on by a man taking your clothes off?”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Good. I was about to be really worried about you.”

You leaned back into the bench. “It was more than that. Obviously, I was turned on, but it was… I’ve never felt so…seen. Like he could see all of me.” Din had been wearing a helmet that blocked all view of his features, but the way his hidden gaze traced your body as his fingers caressed your skin you felt like something precious. Like some kind of treasure he was studying and admiring. “And I wanted to see him in return. As much of him as I was allowed, at least.”

“So… you saw him. Like, saw him, saw him?” Nima asked.

“Yes?” You shrugged. A sighed then left your lips as you shook your head. “I thought I had been touch starved after a year of hiding on my own, but you should’ve seen him, Nima. He didn’t even believe me when I told him how beautiful he was and, stars, he was gorgeous. Everything about him is…”

Nima chuckled. “Girl, you got it baaad.” You covered your face with your hands knowing she was absolutely right. “I’m still baffled you saw any of him. I can’t even fathom the thought of seeing his hands.”

“What do you mean?”

“He never shows anybody his skin.” Nima shrugged. “You have to have noticed that. I’ve never seen⏤ oh, wait. Actually once, when he came to pick up Grogu, he bent over to scoop the kid up and I saw a flash of his bare wrist between his glove and gauntlet. I was worried he’d have to kill me for that.”

It made sense. He never showed any of his skin out in public and even today when Karga showed up. Din had taken the time to put on his full suit of armor rather than just slipping into his home clothes. What confused you was the fact that you had seen his bare skin so soon into living with him. Literal days and Din had already trusted you with more than he did the public. Was it because you were just in his home and around Grogu so out of default you got to see him that way? Or was it something else entirely?

“I guess I should also ask,” Nima spoke up, “What’re you gonna do about Karga?”

You sighed and buried your face in your hands. “I have no idea.”

“Did you talk to Mando about… you know…”

“About how I killed Soran?” You finished.

Nima scoffed. “No. You know that’s not what happened. You did everything you could.”

“And it wasn’t enough.”

“Maker, you’re the stupidest smart person I’ve ever met.” Nima groaned. You narrowed your eyes at her in a glare. She just shrugged. “You know my opinion on the matter. What’s Mando’s opinion?”

You grumbled, “I don’t know. I came here before he could say. Left him with my file though. So, I might be coming back to a storm.” You crossed your arms. “If I get fired and kicked out of the house can I stay with you?”

“No.” Nima shook her head.

“Wow, thanks.”

“You’re not gonna get fired, you idiot.” Nima scoffed. “And you’re not gonna get any closure sitting here with me.” She stood and motioned with her arms for you to rise. You pushed up and Nima pulled you into a tight hug. You sighed once but returned the hug with a smile. She pulled back and winked at you. “Now, go back and finish what you started. Either the emotional stuff or the physical stuff. Your choice.”

You nodded and stepped off her porch as Nima skipped to her door. You paused and shot her a smirk. “Oh, and hey, tell Cara I said hello.”

“I will!” Nima chirped. Her eyes suddenly widened and her mouth fell slack. You laughed and she shook her head. “I mean, I will when I see her next. Whenever that is. Because she’s definitely not here. Why would she be here??”

“Uh huh.” You replied.

“Shut up and go fuck the Marshal.” Nima stuck her tongue out at you and hurried back into her house. With her out of sight, your smile faltered and you turned to make your way back home. It was time to face the music.

a/n: how do y’all feel about long chapters? i have a bad bad habit of writing long chapters which feels wrong on tumblr??? i can post a 15k word chapter on ao3 and not even blink, but if i start to get near 6k or 7k on tumblr i get antsy for some reason. it feels illegal. idk why. anyways, as always thanks for the love! i haven’t come up with a concrete posting schedule yet so as of now it’s gonna be every 5-7 days. roughly. also, side note, it’s my birthday and i think comments about my story is my fav kind of gift👀👀

Mando’a translations

Gar cuyir ner kar’ta. Ibac kelir draar am.

You are my heart. That will never change.

Buir, mar’eyir Ma!

Dad, find Ma!

Kai’tomyc: Hungry /// Ad’ika: Little one /// Ner Kar’ta: My Heart

@aheadfullofsteverogers @yyiikes @kneelforloki @c-ms1ut @sgt-morgan @luthienaliceisilra @fawn-kitten @missbabyjay @coldlamaspersonspy @dilfsaremyfavourite @jamesbuckybarnes @yorkeylover @teawrites01 @emily-roberts @djarinxore @impala1967666 @shelbyteller @faithrenner @dindjarindude @dankfarrick29 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @garbo-lesbo @anythingforattention @tearfulsolace @onceinamando @catharinaroxastova @uwu-i-purple-you

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #protective din djarin #good dad din djarin #grogu is adorable #mando #mando x reader #mando x you #Female reader #reader insert #greef karga #cara dune #slow burn #angst/comfort #fluff #domestic bliss

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myfeetrcolddd · 8 months

Text

Less than rational

Theo knew he had a bad habit of making less than rational decisions, decisions that often got him hurt or in trouble. He knew he had to try and not make these decisions, but when he had fallen off a wild horse and was sent to the infirmary due to his broken arm he knew he was about to make a lot more less than rational decisions, especially ones that would land him in the infirmary.

Y/N had started to work with madam Pomfry at the start of the year, it would be good practice and a good learning experience for when she would eventually become a healer. Surprisingly she had never encountered the famous Theodore Nott, who madam Pomfry had a large file containing all his past injuries during his years at Hogwarts.

It wasn't until the end of the year did she get to finally treat the boy, who had no doubt lied about how he had broken his arm, and after some coaxing and promising not to tell on him he had admitted to riding wild horses in the forbidden forest as part of a dare.

She found him ridiculous, always joking around and never taking his injury serious, she had assumed that would be the first and last time she would be treating him, considering the fact that they had gone months without an encounter. But was she ever so wrong

Theo had made it his plan to woo the girl, but first he just wanted to be near her, and what better way than her nursing him back to health. Often when he came to the infirmary madam Pomfry would be the one to help him, but when it was her and not the pretty girl in his year, he would ask- beg, for madam Pomfry to bring him the girl. He hadn't even cared if the old nurse was telling Y/N what he was doing, because in the end he got to see her.

But only seeing her when he was injured was getting to be too little, and if Theo was to be honest he didn't quite fancy hurting himself all that much, he needed to see her more, and it seemed that they didn't have any classes together whatsoever.

As much as she hated to admit it she liked seeing Theodore Nott every week, of course she would always pester him about being more careful, and it seemed to work, no longer was the boy breaking or spraining something every so often. But he was coming in for little things, a paper cut, a stubbed toe, a tooth ache even.

She was quite sure he was either lying or self inflicting these 'injuries' she also knew that Theo had been asking for her specifically when ever he came in, and it got to the point that madam Pomfry wouldn't even refer to the boy by his name but as 'your boy'.

Like every morning Y/N had found herself missing breakfast, thanks to another late night at the infirmary, but after months of this she had gotten used to the lack of food in the morning. Instead opting for a granola bar and a sip of juice before dashing off to class.

Running through the near empty halls Y/N cursed to herself, how could she have slept in so late!

"Y/N!" A voice called from behind her, stopping her mid run she turned to see who called her name. An involuntary smile graced her face at the sight of Theodore Nott. It wasn't often that she saw the boy outside of the infirmary, they weren't in any of the same classes and they weren't in the same house let alone having any mutual friends.

"Theo." She smiled, the fact that she was late to class was long forgotten as the tall messy haired boy walked towards her, a goofy grin on his face.

"I didn't see you at breakfast." His brows scrunched in the cutest way and concern was visible on his face- wait, he looks for me at meals? The thought went off in her brain like an alarm, though she had no clue why, all she knew was that she had to make sure her sudden panic didn't show through.

"Oh. I slept in." She shrugged, hopefully looking nonchalant.

"What class do you have?"

"Muggle studies, what about you?" She tilted her head, normally the panic she was feeling would be because she was late for class, instead it was caused thanks to the infuriatingly good looking boy in front of her who was only an arms length away.

"Spare." He said in a bragging tone and grinned, then he took a step closer to her. "You know," He started, staring into her eyes and she suddenly felt very translucent, "I hear that Burbage is just letting her students have an extra study period."

"Oh? And where'd you hear that?" She smirked up at him.

"The grape vine." He shrugged and she giggled and the sound made his heart bloom, with warmth, happiness, pride that he had gotten her to laugh.

"Mhm, well I do have a lot of things to study for."

"Do you?" She nodded her head and his eyes narrowed playfully, "Well, I am a top student, I can help you if you want." Theo tilted his head as he stepped closer, so close that her perfume was much stronger and doing things to him, and he knew that if he didn't distance himself then he would make a less than rational decision, one that could ruin everything he has with her.

"Well, I appreciate the offer but-" She was cut off by her own squeal as Theo lifted her off the ground as if she weighed nothing and threw her over his shoulder like a sake of potatoes. "Theo!" She yelled, thrashing against him, but despite herself she let out a laugh. "Put me down!" Her voice had meant to be harsh but she was still laughing.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Miss Nurse, if I do you might not study." He shrugged as he began to walk to the library and her jaw dropped in shock. No way he could carry her all the way there.

While Y/N was caught up in the fact that Theos grip on her waist felt a little too good and that she didn't hate her situation as much as she should have, Theo was having his own little meltdown.

It wasn't often that Theodore Nott second guessed himself, but whenever it came to this girl it was as if his thoughts were on over drive. Always thinking about what he could do to get her to look at him, to laugh at him, to talk and spend time with him, and now he knew he had to come up with some reason to get her to touch him more, because if she was a flame he was a moth, drawn to her even if it burned him.

He liked the feeling of her in his arms, or arm, and he knew if anyone saw them it would be incredibly hard to explain but he couldn't find it in himself to care, because Y/N wasn't complaining so neither was he, and as they got closer to the library he realized he was going to have to put her down.

When he stopped in front of the library doors he heaved her down and off his shoulder, placing her right in front of him, and he was aware of how close he had placed her her breath fanning his face as he found his posture slight slouched and his head bent towards her. He was aware of how he had neglected to take his hands off of her waist.

Neither of them missed the glances each of them made to the others lips, the lingering gazes, but both said nothing about it, instead Y/N found herself blushing furiously and stepping away from the boy who took up too much of her time. She cleared her throat and turned towards the library doors, "Well," Her voice was high pitched and she was quick to fix it, "Let's get to it then."

Theo had stared at her back, at her beautiful hair, and he realized that maybe he liked this girl much more than he thought he had, because although he's disappointed they didn't kiss, he still wanted to be around her, he didn't feel sour by her turning her back on him, not one bit.

After that day things changed, Theo had become more touchy and Y/N more tolerant, and even flirting back.

It was a Friday night, and Slytherin was throwing a party to celebrate their win against Gryffindor, Y/N wasn't normally one for parties, only attending one here and there, but she was sick of what ever was going on with her and Theo. It had been weeks since that day he threw her over his shoulder, and weeks of almost kisses and less than friendly touches and words, yet he still didn't make a move. And she would make the first move but every time she tried he had made an excuse to leave before she could even ask him out.

She knew he liked her, she just didn't know why he wouldn't do anything about it.

So she bought a dress, a short, skimpy, revealing dress in Theos favorite color, she put on a pair of strappy heals and even did more than just mascara and lip gloss.

The party was loud, bodies grinding against each other, there was a fog machine somewhere which made the room well, foggy, and most of the lights were off. Everyone already seemed drunk and as she made her way to the drink table she had already been offered many things that no person in their right mind would ask another person.

With a drink in hand she had scanned the dark room and it wasn't long until her eyes met his. Directly across the room was Theo, leaning in an arm chair as his friends sat int eh adorning chairs and sofa by the fire place.

Theo was manspreading, his hands on the arm rests and in one hand was a bottle of beer. His gaze did things to her normally, but something about the way he was looking at her right now, that made her burn in the best way possible.

Fueled by his unwavering gaze Y/N downed her drink and made her way to the make shift dance floor, immediately finding someone to dance with. "You look nice Y/L/N" the guy said in to her ear as he grinded on her, and she had to stop herself from gagging. She didn't even know the boys name.

"You too." She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her ass into his groin.

It was then that the guy behind her was ripped off of her. She didn't have to turn around to see who it was, and soon his body was pressed up against hers, replacing the boy before. Theo wrapped his arms around her waist and brought his head down to her ear, "What do you think you're doing Princess." His words were low and rough and came out more as a statement than a question.

"Having fun of course." She grinned.

"Okay, let me rephrase, why was that guy, grinding on you?" Oh he was angry.

"If not him who else?" Instead of answering Theo spun her around in his arms, now face to face, their noses touching as he glares down at her.

He had no right to be jealous, but he was, because everyone knew that she was his, everyone knew about his bigger than life feelings for her, and even if they didn't say anything about it she knew it too. But that wasn't enough, he hadn't made a move, he was acting like a boyfriend without being a boyfriend, it was frustrating, she liked what they had but she wanted more, she wanted cuddles and kisses goodbye, she wanted to hug for as long as she wanted and she wanted to be official.

At the lack of response she glowered and scoffed, Theodore Nott, known for doing thing without thinking and doing things without second thought was always second guessing her and anything she came with. As if calculating the consequences if he got with her.

"Whatever." She mumbled, prying his hands off her and walking away. If he was going to be a coward then so be it, I won't be waiting for him, I have my own life and I won't spend it hoping a boy will admit he likes me.

As he watched her walk away he felt his heart shatter. He already knew he was fucking things up, he knew he didn't really need to be second guessing everything he had with her, but he couldn't help himself, what if they started dating and she realized he wasn't all that he made himself up to be? What if she had him and then decided she didn't want him? Theo knew he couldn't live with himself if he had something with her and then lost it all, but isn't that what he had just done?

He didn't get any sleep that night, or the next, and soon he ended up in the infirmary looking for a sleeping potion, this had been the longest he had gone without seeing her, it was two fucking days and he was already falling apart at the seams.

And it was at the end of that week that he knew he had to do something about this, he needed to talk to her, to see her, to hear her, to say sorry.

He had been on the stairs when he saw her, bellow him on another set of stairs, and, acting on impulse, he jumped. He hopped over the railing and down to Y/N who stood alone on the platform nearly two stories bellow.

When he landed he felt pain in one of his ankles but couldn't find it in himself to care because he was finally seeing her after a week. "Y/N." His voice was distant, his eyes transfixed on her as he walked closer to her and didn't stop until he had her face in his hands. "Y/N" He whispered her name like a prayer, "My Y/N." He placed his forehead against hers. "I'm so sorry." His voice was shaky.

It was clear he wasn't in his right state of mind, clearly in a state of delirium, and it was most definitely because of his lack of sleep. "Teddy." The nickname came easily to her, though she had never used it it just seemed right. And it was, Theo loved the way it sounded, it did things to him he should not be feeling while trying to apologize.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I was a coward. I am a coward."

"I know." She huffed and he grinned.

"How can I make it up to you?? Please I'll do anything." He begged, not caring about how desperate he sounded, because what ever he sounded didn't compare to how he felt.

"Well for one you can not do anything as reckless as jumping down two flights of stairs!" She reprimanded him and a familiar warmth spread through his chest, because she was talking to him, and she was warm, and- "When was the last time you slept?"

"Thursday night." He mumbled, his eyes falling closed as she brought her hands up to grasp his wrists, has he mentioned how warm she is?

"You-" She cut herself off in disbelief before she dragged him to the infirmary, where she made him lay on a bed while she went and got things for his ankle. "You need to sleep." She said, brushing back the hair on his forehead, before moving her hand down to cup his cheek, at which he leaned in to her touch.

Without thinking she leaned in and kissed him, a gentle and quick kiss. And as she pulled back she was met with Theos wide eyes before he brought her lips back down to his.

Her lips were soft against his, and he couldn't get enough of it, because she was a great kisser, her lips matched his pace, his fervent and needy pace and it wasn't long before his tongue was caressing hers and tasting her.

When she pulled back for air he lifted her up onto the bed with him, then he flipped them so that she was laying flat on the bed and he was hovering above her.

He fought sleep as he brought his lips to her neck, and the open mouthed kissed became soft nuzzling, before Y/N had a chance to think about all that had happened she was trapped underneath Theos weight and held tightly to him by his arms around his waist.

His lips brushed against her neck as he breathed and mumbled things in his sleep, it was only as she was falling asleep herself did she realize what he was saying.

"All mine, my Y/N"

#not edited #theodore nott x y/n #theo nott x reader #theo nott #harry potter #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott #Imagine #not proofread

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dialoguestetatet · 2 months

Text

Hwangyeon Choi x fem!reader

Fluff, OOC, I got carried away a little in the end, oops. I realized that I was starting to like him a little bit too much

The idiot in love pt.2 (pt.1 is here)

masterlist

For anyone who forgot, Hwangyeon Choi was a very confident person. Therefore, he sat absolutely calmly at a cafe table and waited for your arrival, his leg didn't even twitch from tension, and he didn't tap his fingers on the countertop to the rhythm of the Baby Shark melody. Where did he even hear that tune?

Hwangyeon was cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. He wasn't nervous at all. He was serene as the Buddha. There were definitely no butterflies tap dancing in his stomach. What could have gone wrong? Well, anything, because as it turned out, the universe had some personal scores with him and tried to make him look like an absolute fool. Hwan sat and mentally went over the worst-case scenarios for a date: from the fact that he would turn a cup of coffee over on you, to the fact that an escaped lion from a passing traveling circus would attack the cafe on that day and at that time, and you would have to run to the roof of the tallest building. Oh, wait, no, it wasn't like a lion, but a gorilla. Or an orangutan? There's no difference, but didn't the lion escape and make friends with a wild boar and a jerboa? Or was it a meerkat and a warthog? And what did a lion and monkeys have to do with it? Why was he sitting here at all and shaking his leg so that the table wobbled like in an earthquake? Where was he? Who was he? Baby Shark?

"Hey, Hwangyeon! Have you been waiting long? Sorry I'm late", you walked up to the table and waved at him.

He jumped up so abruptly that his knee hit the table. It was painful, but definitely worth it to see you in all your glory. Your face seemed to glow under the rays of the sun, your eyes sparkled with joy, and your lips broke into the most tender smile that has ever been addressed to him. But suddenly your face was filled with concern. "Are you okay? Does it hurt much?"

"What?" What are you talking about? Did you really feel how much his heart fluttered? Was it pounding that loud?

"Your knee", you put your hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little.

Which knee? He didn't have knees, if you keep touching him, he'll have a heart attack, you'll have to call an ambulance, then the date will definitely be ruined. He needed to pull himself together urgently. Oh God, your hand was still on his shoulder, did you want to take him to his grave before he's thirty?

"No, no, it's alright!" He jerked to the side and you took your hand away. Oh no, bring it back, why did he need shoulders at all if your hand wasn't going to be on them? "By the way, you look really pretty".

"Oh, thank you, Hwan, you look great yourself". No, he didn't blush, he was as tough as a tin soldier. Didn't he burn down in the end of the story? What did it matter? You called him Hwan, he'll need to come up with beautiful names for your future daughter.

"Th- thank you", DID HE STUTTER? This shame can only be washed away with his blood. While you were sitting down at the table, Hwangyeon was thinking about how painful it is to commit seppuku and why masochism has always been in fashion.

"I hope you don't mind that I've already ordered?" It wasn't for nothing that he's been scouring your entire Instagram in search of what you liked.

You smiled at him, "Not at all, you guessed my favorite. And I really like this cafe, it's amazing that you suggested going here". God, stop smiling, or he'll have to lean across the table and kiss you. It's a well-known fact that if a person you're madly in love with was sitting in front of you and smiling at you, then you have to kiss them, even if you're on a first date. He didn't make up the rules.

So far, the dialogue has progressed quite productively, Hwan has already learned more about what you do, a little about your hobby (he'll have to google more to be able to support you in this), and about your favorite book (he'll also need to read it, so it'll take some time before he can insert any phrase from it into your conversation).

"You do cycling, don't you?", your question caught him off guard, because he was thinking about whether it was possible to gently take your hand. Wasn't your hand just lying next to the cup? Most likely, your hand was very lonely and cold, so he'll be happy to warm you. Now, what was the question again?

"Oh, yeah, I've been doing this since I was a kid. I love this feeling when you ride a bike, and there's only wind around, the world seems to freeze. I'm pretty good at it and quite popular among cyclists", surely he couldn't miss the chance to brag in front of you.

"I really want to see it sometime", you ran your fingers over the cup.

"Of course, come to the competition, and witness my victory," Hwangyeon gently ran the pads of his fingers over your knuckles. You laughed and moved your hand a little closer to him. "Huh, you're a confident man, I like that." He carefully wrapped his much larger hand around yours, and your palm fitted his perfectly. He stroked your knuckles with his thumb. Suddenly, you intertwined your fingers with his and looked shyly from under your eyelashes. Hwan smiled and continued to massage the point between your thumb and forefinger.

You walked out of the cafe holding hands. While you were ranting about your favorite show, Hwangyeon was considering the possibility of getting slapped in the face and being known as the guy who can't keep his hands to himself if he kissed you. There were two options, the first one was to kiss you, get slapped in the face and watch you run away with the words "you're acting too fast, did you think I was a girl of easy virtue?", and the second one was not to kiss you and regret it until the next date. What if you don't want another date? It was going pretty well, wasn't it? You were smiling, laughing, chatting, holding hands. Your hand is so small, so thin, your skin is so delicate compared to his. He was wondering what ring size you have. This was a first date, calm down, people usually waited a few years after they officially became a couple. What if you don't want to date him? Maybe he should dig a grave right in that vacant lot that he often drove past as a child? He'll simply wait in a hole to die like a giraffe. Why did he have only animals on his mind all day?

"Hwan," you said his name softly. You've already stopped by your house, facing each other. He looked into your eyes and realized that he shouldn't have overthought it. You were standing there beaming with joy, and your lips were so kissable, so it was impossible not to do it. Gently running his hand over your cheek, he touched your lip with his thumb. "May I?" Hwan whispered, leaning closer to your face. "Yes," you breathed into his lips. Fireworks exploded in front of his eyelids from the first touch of your lips. As soft as he thought. As gentle as he imagined. As sweet as he dreamed. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he pulled you even closer, hugging you around the waist. At first, a timid and tender kiss quickly turned into a passionate one. You ran your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck while he greedily stole your breath. A shiver ran down his spine as you moaned softly against his lips. Hwangyeon bit your lower lip and pulled it with his teeth. You whimpered and trembled in his arms as he parted your lips and slipped his tongue into your mouth. He was crazy about the way you clung to him, scratched his neck with your nails, sucked on his tongue. He stroked your waist, put his hands on your hips, but quickly returned his hands back, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to deny himself the pleasure of thrusting his thigh between your legs and, clasping your hips, pressing you against him. With great difficulty, he pulled away from your lips. You mewled in protest and reached back. Seeing the blush on your face, half-closed eyes and bitten lips, Hwan began to erratically leave kisses on your nose, cheeks, chin, moving to your neck, unable to resist running his tongue over the beating vein and biting the thin skin with his teeth. "Hwan, please", his legs almost buckled from your pleading moan, he couldn't stop himself and led a trail of kisses to the place between your neck and ear, sucking the skin there in the mark of possession. Breathing heavily, you looked into each other's eyes.

"You're alright, princess?" Hwangyeon chuckled, seeing how disheveled you are.

"More than that, actually," you lovingly stroked his goatee.

"So you don't mind repeating it again?" Please say yes, otherwise he'll cry right here. He won't even be embarrassed by it.

"A kiss?" You're holding your breath.

"A date," Hwan rubbed his nose against your cheek, "and a kiss, a lot of kissing, actually."

"So, just dates and kisses then?" You pouted a little.

"To tell you the truth, I would die happy if you let me be your boyfriend." God, give him the strength to hold on a little longer and not to start making out with you right then and there.

"Oh no, I need my boyfriend alive, so try to survive." Was that a yes? It wasn't a hallucination, right? Hwan's not going to wake up from a coma right now, there's a zombie apocalypse around, and his best friend took his wife away?

"Then I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at regular intervals". You giggled and pulled him by the neck, kissing his lips again.

#hwangyeon choi x reader #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker #windbreaker hwangyeon #hwangyeon choi #hwangyeon x reader #choi hwangyeon #windbreaker webtoon #choi hwangyeon x reader #windbreaker hwangyeon x reader

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jazeswhbhaven · 2 months

Text

Just Another Day in Hades...(Requiem of the Survivors Event React III)

Henlo again, third post time! Make sure you check out the previous parts before continuing! ->Part 1 -> ->Part 2->

Good to go? Let's finish this~

So we're back and this is final part to my react post!! It's mostly the damn image limit that kills me. Let me have 50 images per post ugh. Anywayssss

WOMP I spelt his name wrong in another post like all the way wrong. It's bad enough Orias couldn't even remember his name lmao

I'm crying because level with me... I read his name because of the typo as "Zaddy" instead of Zadkie Sure. I mean I'll call him Zaddy ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ (btw this is a different way of calling someone "Daddy" during sex) Now you know your admin was being horny for another angel again. I am never leaving the streets at this point and Dre has his eyes on me ready to have some words. m o v i n g o n n nn

So Orias is hyping up the angel trying to get him ready for when leviathan gets over to him. they see him from afar and have their little talk, and Zadkiel is nervous asf (as he should be) but Orias is like "you're fine :D" all while he's over there slobbering over Levi's soul again.

See. Look at him. Just confident. Also this part I'm just gonna hurry up and paraphrase so "Levi" walks up to Orias and the angel and after the two of them stare at each other BAM Orias tells the angels to attack "Levi" immediately.

Looks like they got him right???

W R O N G

After Orias ripped through "Levi's" chest and ate the orb, it didn't taste at all what he expected, and...it had the opposite affect of what he thought it would too.

Won't you look at that, Orias wasn't the only one who fucking came in with a failsafe key sort of speak. SO remember back when I said Zadkiel was staring at Levi??? Well he knew who it was because it wasn't really Levi at all but an old colleague of his named Ose that was disguised by the real Levi who only half trusted Orias's note. And as I suspected, Levi was too smart for that and if we remember that he and orias are the ones that can lie. so both parties threw everyone for a loop.

Leviathan played his cards right and he won. Foras witnessed such a thing before his eyes knowing he was probs gonna win anyway lol

And omfg how cheeky, Levi also just wanted to know what would happen if Orias swallowed the soul omg. Lol this is wild. So in short honestly, Zadkiel gave up, seems that he was under Gabriel since he said his name as his last words and the Leviathan monster pretty much swallowed everyone up. It nearly goes for Orias but Levi stops it.

Yes, even after all this bullshit, Levi sticks to his original promise that he wasn't going to do anything to Orias. In fact, he even has the monster spit out a few souls for Orias to eat.

Now see here, this whole "omg being over 21 means your so old now wow" joke is tiring because no one in their 20s looks like Orias who I assume looks like a wrinkled fucking peach under there and his hair is kinda greyed out too? which I mean I've heard of that happening but come on. lol

otherwise though it comes to a conclusion that Orias was pissed off that he was tricked even though he's the one that tricked Levi in the first place

I can't either Foras. I really can't. Orias needs the timeout chair if he's gonna act like this because omg it's almost like Levi is gentle parenting him so he can act better but I mean technically none of this is a good example of gentle parenting lol But also, Orias has a new noose on his neck and if I'm reading the room correctly, I think Levi intends on using it in it future because of how he says "your life belongs to me" and that it's not like the old one.

Orias is on a tight leash now, Levi's promise still hasn't changed, and our nobles learned more about him and us too.

CONCLUSION So for this event I give it a 9/10. One point off because Orias is being a little brat which kinda came off to me as in his big age, he was still acting like a child. Like yes, give him some grace because he was at that farm with Levi and had horrible stuff done to him and especially one that causes aging to where he may even die in another year or so and he's addicted to angel souls now and it makes him want more and more. I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting to highlight something...but I'mma be honest I'm running off fumes and I haven't slept at all SO if I do remember I'll just edit it in here. But but I hope you all enjoyed the heavy lore again, I really appreciate this that they're doing for the story because it's starting to kind of align with the main story kindish? And we get to see glimpses of how the devils are without MC around so I'm getting my piece of slice of life demon pie.

NOW though with the event done. I'm sure the next one crossing my fingers will be a Lucifer-centered one. maybe. Because they have told us before chapter updates would be every three months or so so that's a lot of waiting that I'm glad for because that means more time to beef up cards, unlock holy board stories, farm for materials. The best time for a f2p peep. btw these advanced candies are gonna fucking be the end of me, it's almost like I need to ONLY nab those during events because they get you at the end with those.

As always appreciate you all for reading my stuff, after I sleep today I'll get back to work on those requests again T^T byeee~ -your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #whb hades bois 💜#whb spoilers #whb event #whb orias #there was a lot of lore in here #team no sleep tho #zaddy come to me #lmao

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edsloveydove · 2 years

Text

I Have Always Seen You

pairing: eddie munson x chubby female reader

summary: of course the boy i've known since 3rd grade, the one i've loved since 7th grade, would be the one to break my heart. i never thought he would be the one to fix it too...

warnings: bullying, fatphobia, use of the word pig towards reader once, falling off a bike, blood and cut knee from falling off said bike, self-doubt and sort of self-hate i guess, cursing, mentality that reader wouldn't be 'missed' (idk if thats a warning but just in case), no use of y/n, underage drinking, reader has an older brother for sake of the story (i gave him a really basic/common name), thoughts and flashbacks are in italics!! nickanames/pet names (shortcake, princess, honey, sweetheart), reader is at least a bit shorter than eddie, very poorly edited, talks of the demobats and upside down, again like very badly edited, lemme know if i missed anything, i'm sure i have!

word count: 9k+

notes: my first fic guys and it turned into this 9,000 word monster! wild! anyway, this might be trash i honestly don't know, i have no perception of it, pls let me know what you think!! also, this story is told in first person point of view so it uses 'i, me, myself' and all that, idk how i feel about it though tbh. uuuuh, enjoy!!

DON'T REPOST MY WRITING OR SHARE IT TO OTHER PLATFORMS (including mentioning it in tiktok comment sections and stuff like that pls) THIS IS MY WRITING, DON'T STEAL IT PLEASE!

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The sweltering midwestern heat was hitting Hawkins, Indiana early this year. School had only been out for a few weeks and it was already hot enough to have the city pool passing the max capacity damn near every day.

Luckily for me, I had been able to successfully avoid going every time my friends have asked me to join them. Until now.

“C’mon, it’s gonna be so much fun! Steve’s parents are gone again, like usual, so it’ll just be us and a few other friends!” Robin tries to convince me through the phone.

“Robin, I never believe ‘just us and a few friends’, because it is ne-”

“It’s never just a few friends, I know. But this time it really will be just a few people. Like, actually just a few people. After everything that happened during spring break and all that, Steve really just wants the main guys there. There’s not gonna be any crazy partying, we’re gonna swim and relax, that’s it.”

“I don’t know, I might be busy tomorrow,” I attempt an excuse.

“Then we’ll move it to when you’re free. We really want you there, you haven’t gone to any of our movie nights or other hangouts yet,” Robin points out while saying my name softly. “Is it something else? Is there someone you don’t want there?”

Robin isn’t entirely wrong, there is something else that’s keeping me from joining my friends. And technically it does have to do with someone, but not in the way she thinks. And that someone happens to be none other than the Eddie Munson.

I’ve known Eddie for many years. My older brother was one of his best friends while growing up having met in elementary school. James was in the grade above Eddie, and the one to introduce him to D&D, eventually passing on the title of Hellfire Club President to him as well. I was always in the background, hoping my brother would let me learn how to play just so I could impress him and his friends.

While they were occupying the basement, getting pizza and bottles of Coke every other Saturday for their stupid role-playing game, I was in my room reading trashy romance novels and out riding my bike to the library in hopes to seem cool when I came back late at night.

By the time I got to high school, it was James’ second to last year before he went off to college in Chicago on his big-shot football scholarship he managed to snag before he was even a senior. And yes, James was a Hellfire nerd and a star-athlete, so no one messed with their little club while he was there. Eddie was in his sophomore year, already antsy to graduate and move on to greater things.

I was just the outcast that didn’t even have a group. It didn’t matter that I was the captain of the football team’s little sister, I never made any friends because I never tried to.

Needless to say, yeah, Eddie and I had some history and maybe things got brought up when Vecna was trying to take over the world that might have been better left untouched. And maybe the idea of seeing him again brings butterflies to my stomach while also making my gut sink.

“No, it's not that. I just…I guess I just haven’t been feeling it since…since yanno,” I say, half heartedly.

Robin voices her understanding and tells me to just call back when I make a decision on if I would go or not. I promise her I will and hang up the phone. It’s not like I didn’t want to see them, because truly I did but it also wasn’t a complete lie when I told her I hadn’t been feeling quite right since the Venca situation.

It was a really traumatic and horrible experience for everyone involved, and really astonishing that everyone made it out alive.

‘Maybe I should just go…but what if it’s horrible? I know none of my lovely friends would ever say anything to me about it, but I just can’t stand the thought of them seeing me in a swimsuit, especially Eddie.’ I shake my head at the thought. ‘What a stupid thing to think, god, we all nearly died and I’m worried about my stomach in a swimsuit, how shallow is that? I guess some things just never change, no matter the life threatening situation…’

I go about my nighttime routine, washing my face and making sure no lights have been left on around the house. I say goodnight to my mother and fall right asleep. Or, I try to at least.

But my mind keeps me up for much longer than I would have hoped.

‘It would be a good time, though. Have a couple of beers, spend the night in one of Steve’s nice guest bedrooms. I wouldn’t even have to swim, I could just say I’m on my period or something. Ugh, but Robin knows that I always swam even on my period when we were younger. I’ll just wear a suit under my clothes and pretend the water is too cold even though it’s the peak of summer? Yeah, that should work. I can’t imagine anyone will care that much anyway if I’m not in the pool with them. I really do miss my friends.’

The next morning I call Robin and tell her I’ll be there tonight. She squeals in delight and tells me how happy she’ll be to see me.

Now it was just time to pick out an outfit, should be simple enough, right?

Well, after leaving it to the last second and now only having about 15 minutes to get to Steve’s when it’s already a five minute drive, having half of my closet strewn about my room doesn’t seem like a very good place to be at.

I finally sigh and opt for a swim suit from the summer before that I never wore, a green one piece with a wrapped sort of style for the top portion, and black cut off shorts and an old t-shirt that fits comfortably loose over it.

I grab my keys and kiss my mother on the forehead, reminding her I wouldn’t be back till the next morning.

Several shouts of my name reach my ears once I reach Steve’s backyard, it does bring a small smile to my face knowing I’ve been missed just as much as I’ve missed them.

“You’re actually here, I’m so happy to see you!” Nancy says pulling me in for a hug, Robin joining on top, squishing us all together.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s been a really hard year,” Nancy says sincerely.

Steve comes up for a hug next, squishing me for dear life, I could feel him about to try to lift me up and spin me around so I pull away rather abruptly.

“Alright, alright, it’s nice to see you, too, Steve.”

He answers with a kiss to the cheek and makes me promise that I’ll come to the next hangout and every one after that. I see Jonathan and he waves with a small awkward smile.

Finally my eyes meet Eddie’s.

“James! James! C’mon, come outside and play with me!” It was nearing the end of summer before James would go back to school for his 8th grade year and I would be going into 6th grade.

“Not right now, can’t you see that I’m busy? I’m too old to play outside anyway,” my brother rolls his eyes.

I hop down the stairs so I can see the basement fully now. Spotting all of my brother's friends huddled around our dinky old card table while he has books and notepads sprawled on his end.

“Well, can I at least play your game with you guys? I’m sure I can learn it fast!” I beam, faking confidence in hopes to sway them.

“No offense, shortcake, but it’s probably too confusing for you. Besides, we’re right in the middle of a campaign, it would be too hard to add in another character out of the blue right now,” Eddie says with a chuckle, like the idea that I could play is too amusing to even consider.

Naturally, I take full offense.

“Fine! You’re all so annoying, I didn’t even want to play with you anyway. Especially not with someone who has a buzzcut!” I stick my tongue out at them and run away, but not before I can hear them laughing.

Sitting alone in my room I know it was childish of me, especially for my age. James was probably right, he was too old to be outside playing tag with his sister. I was too old to be throwing a tantrum like this over some friends wanting to spend time with each other without one’s little sister hanging around.

“Hey, Munson.”

Eddie nods his head in greeting and goes back to talking with Jonathan. Well, that’s honestly about as much interaction as I expected to get from him tonight.

“Alright, let’s get this party started!” Robin exclaims, dragging you toward the cooler filled with ice and drinks, I grab a Sprite to start with.

2 hours later and my Sprite is still mostly untouched and it’s now gone lukewarm. The others are in the pool splashing and playing chicken, I sit on the side with my feet dangling into the shallow end, watching as they fool around and laugh. Giggles and quiet laughs leave my lips on occasion with them.

“You should get in, the water’s really nice!” Nancy says.

“Yeah! Strip for us and get in here,” Robin adds, making everyone laugh.

“You guys just want to get me out of my clothes, don’t you?” I play it off, shaking my head slightly. Giggles erupt again. I excuse myself to the bathroom after pulling my legs out of the pool.

Closing and locking the door behind me I look at myself in the mirror.

‘I should just get in the pool, shouldn’t I? I do feel like I’m missing out on what could be a lot of fun. And it wouldn’t hurt to wash all this sweat off of me. I could just keep my shirt on, I have an extra change of clothes as backup anyway.’

I finish my business and leave the bathroom.

After turning the corner to go back to the pool I run straight into something firm, nearly being toppled over before hands are at my forearms to keep me from doing so. Seeing dark curls fanning across this “something’s” shoulders and several patches of dark ink on its bare skin, I immediately know I have just run head first into Eddie. Great.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” I murmur, keeping my eyes pointed down.

“It’s alright, shortcake. No harm done right?” he says, adjusting his head to try to catch my eyes.

I nod my head and pull away from his hands that still rest gently on my arms.

“Hey, hey, what’s up? You’re so quiet tonight, is everything okay?”

I nod again and pull away harder, rushing out the door to get back to the pool, ignoring his call of my name and a request to “just hold on a second.”

Pulling my shorts off quickly, I step up to the pool and begin to wade into the water before Robin stops me.

“Your shirt! You don’t want the chlorine to ruin it!”

My heart thumps, thinking of how I can handle this. My mouth opens to say something but before I can, Robin cuts me off.

“Just take it off, no one’s gonna make fun of you for being in your swimsuit and if they do I’ll beat them up for you and then we’ll all collectively agree to throw them out of the group. And don’t try to tell me that’s not what it is, I can see it all over your face. You’re allowed to have fun and go swimming, I don’t like to see you excluding yourself, no matter the reason,” she says.

Of course she would see right through any lie I could throw her way. That’s just how Robin is. No matter how clumsy she can be, she really is observant. Not only that, but she’s right. Nobody cares and if they do, that’s their problem.

I rip off my shirt and dive into the pool trying to minimize the time in which people could see me without it. Immediately finding Steve’s legs I yank his ankles so he falls backwards into the water with an unnecessarily loud screech.

It makes the rest of us laugh loudly until Steve comes back up for air with a thirst for vengeance. He chases me around the pool, not for long considering he’s such a strong swimmer and I’m really not trying very hard to get away from him, and catches me easily. His arms wrap around my waist and I cringe as his hands nudge my stomach, scolding myself for the action right after. Steve doesn’t care about my stomach, if he did, he wouldn’t be my friend.

“That really wasn’t very nice,” Steve says and starts lifting me out of the water.

“Steve, hey. Steve! Steve, no, I’m too heavy! Stevie, no! Bad Stevie! Bad!”

I’m thrown in the air as far as he can get me and I splash back down.

I come up spluttering for breath, “Oh, you are so dead, Harrington!”

All at once the rest of us are splashing and dunking him over and over, until he pleads mercy. Shrieks and squeals of glee and what might be considered laughter fill the air as everyone gets their turn being thrown into the water.

Eddie comes back out from the house and cannonballs in the middle of our ‘hate on Steve’ fest.

Eventually I end up back on the side of the pool in my shirt with just my feet in, this time so I can enjoy a fresh soda and mellow out a little, not to make myself smaller. Nancy and Jonathan have called it a night already, leaving Steve, Eddie, and Robin in or by the pool with me.

“I never noticed this scar? Where did you get it?” Robin points to my knee.

The nice old librarian put a hand on my shoulder gently to get my attention, telling me the library would be closing soon and it was best I head home, I hadn’t realized how late it already was. I pack everything together as fast as I can, quickly saying goodnight and unlocking my bike, trying my hardest to race home before the sun sets.

The wheels of my rickety bicycle pump faster and faster and in my haste I bump over a high curb without realizing, flying off and onto the pavement.

Tears spring to my eyes as air is sucked in through my teeth. I take a look at my knee and see a small dribble of blood seeping down it, my hands have little scrapes all over, spotted with little beads of red.

Not the worst I could have gotten from a bike incident, but bad enough to keep me from being able to ride the rest of the way home. It’s not far, but so much for getting back before the street lights turn on.

About 15 minutes later I make it into our backyard, dropping the two wheeled contraption from hell into the grass and stumbling through the door, all while sniffling back sobs.

“Oh hey, shortcake! James was starting to get worried about you, you really shouldn’t walk alone at night yanno? Next time ju-” Eddie cuts himself off after seeing the state I’m in. Of course he had to be the one to see me like this. Anyone else could have been sent on snack duty tonight, but it just had to be him.

“Oh my god, what happened?” He walks up to me.

I shrug my shoulders and look away. I catch a glimpse of how bad my knees and hands have gotten on the walk home. Blood drips down both knees, my left knee looking significantly worse than the right. Dirt and pebbles cover my palms along with streaks of crimson.

“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Tell me what happened? Please?”

I still don’t say anything, fresh, hot tears welling up and already spilling out. I refuse to let stupid Eddie Munson see me like this, all it would be is more leverage to make fun of me with.

He pulls my hand gently until I’m sitting down. Eddie appears in front of me with a first aid kit a few seconds later, carefully cleaning the gashes on my knees and scrapes on my hands with alcohol wipes.

“Did,” he lets out a shuddering breath, “Did someone hurt you?”

“No, god no Eddie, I just-, god this is so embarrassing, I just fell off of my bike is all,” I mutter, not really wanting him to hear the words as they come out.

“S’ not embarrassing, stuff like that happens. I just wish you would have told me, here I was thinking the boys and I were going to have to band together to cause hell for our favorite little goblin,” he says.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, you guys wouldn’t really do that, I guess James might. Most of you guys don’t even really like me that much anyway, you don’t have to lie,” I whisper.

“That’s not true! Of course we would stick up for you!” he says like he’s shocked that I would think the opposite.

I just shrug my shoulders again and wipe my eyes, still avoiding looking him in the face.

“Here, let me help you up to your room. That can’t feel good to walk on,” he pulls me up from the chair and goes to lift me into his arms. I jump out of his reach before he can.

“It’s okay, I got it. Just- you better get back downstairs before they start worrying. I’ll take care of myself.”

“What? No, you’re basically limping just standing here, shortcake, let me carry you, it’ll only take a minute?” He phrases it like a question. Asking but also sort of demanding.

The idea is actually really nice, and I want to say yes to it. It would be like when the prince finally gets the princess in all those books I’ve read. Eddie could sweep me off of my feet and whisk me away.

But I know better, I know that he wouldn’t be able to lift me. Even if he could he wouldn’t so much as glance at me, again, I’m just his friend's little sister. Here only because this is where she lives.

“No thank you, I’m okay. Go ahead and go back to your game, I’m sure they miss you already. Nobody would even notice if I were gone, but they’ll practically riot without you,” I try to cover how deeply I believe those words with a laugh as I wobble away and halfway up the stairs before he can stop me.

“Um, I guess I don’t really remember. It’s probably just one of those super old scars you forget are even there,” I say, even though I recall the night I got it vividly.

Eddie’s eyes meet mine from the other side of the pool and they look almost…hurt at the possibility that I might not remember that day. Well, he didn’t get to feel hurt about it. He made it clear that he doesn’t care how I feel when we were in the upside down.

“Hmmm, yeah, I have, like, tons of those actually,” Robin says, “This one is from my cat, Steven, and this one-”

“You have a cat named Steven?” I cut her off. She gives me a look that says ‘duh’.

“But what about Steve? Like human Steve? Was this before or after you became friends? And how has this never come up before?” I practically shriek.

“Believe me, it has come up before. And yes, before she tells you otherwise, it was after we became friends,” Steve says, settling down beside me while throwing his arm around my shoulders.

“That is not true! I found him outside the mall before we became friends! We may have been working together at that point, but we were not friends yet!” Robin shouts.

“We were friends, she’s just embarrassed that she named her cat after me,” Steve whispers in my ear, making me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Even though I’ve never seen Steve romantically, he still had the ability to reduce me to feet kicking and hair twirling.

“What’s wrong with you, Munson?” Steve asks, noticing the scowl covering his face that usually carries a bright smile.

Eddie shakes his head, “Nothing man, just thinking about how I don’t have a beer in my hand right now.”

A call of my name breaks my gaze away from the mirror.

“You almost ready? It’s time to go!” James yells, entering my room. “Hey! You look great! It almost feels like I’m sending you off to prom already,” he says wiping fake tears from his cheeks.

I shove him in the chest and readjust my hair and the straps to my dress for what feels like the millionth time. It was a rather simple looking thing considering I had to sew it myself since the only dresses even near my size were too far out of theme for the 8th grade Winter Snowball or they were simply just ugly.

Light blue and white fabric lays delicately across my shoulders and down to my knees, matched with white slip on shoes and silver snowflake jewelry.

“You look really nice, seriously. I know how nervous you are, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise,” my brother assures me, slapping my shoulder much harder than necessary to push me towards the door, “Now it’s time to get your butt moving, let’s go!”

When we arrive at the dance I immediately catch eyes with Robin and speed walk to her. James goes wherever he's needed for volunteering.

After about 45 minutes the first slow song of the night comes on as I sit contently by myself at the far end of the bleachers. I wasn’t sad to not be dancing with anyone, I was honestly sort of relieved that I hadn’t had to dance all night. But watching all the couples on the dance floor does make my heart ache just a little.

“I haven’t seen you dance all night, what’s that about?”

“Why are you here?”

“Ouch, shortcake, I don’t even get a hello? And what, I can’t come volunteer with your brother?” Eddie says, fake hurt painting his face.

“It just doesn’t seem like you, I guess.”

He sits down next to me leaving at least enough room for another person to sit between us. He hands me an unopened juice box.

“Seriously though, why aren’t you out there? You don’t have someone you wanna get cozied up with on the dancefloor?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me in his typical annoying Eddie way.

I roll my eyes, as my stomach twists with shame. He’s mocking me, isn’t he?

“Nope. I’m okay with it though. Honestly I was perfectly happy just sitting here. Until you showed up that is,” I say with a shrug.

“Oh really? Well, gosh, who made you such a sour fart?” he laughs as I push him in the arm.

“Alright, c’mon then. Pity party is over, let's go do this,” Eddie holds out his hand and raises a brow when all I do is look at it confused. “Let’s go dance, shortcake, you should at least once before it’s over.”

“Um- I-” I’m at a loss for words. There’s no way he’s being anything but friendly but my stupid heart skips too many beats to count.

“Here, I need to go check on James and see how the other volunteers are doing. While I take care of that, I want you to sit here and decide if you want to dance with me or not. Of course, I won’t make you do anything you don’t wanna, but if you’re up for it, I’m here,” he says, bouncing back to the drinks and snacks table. I smile giddily at his back and stay sitting.

By the time the last song of the night played I was still in the exact same spot I had been for nearly 2 hours, waiting for Eddie to come back.

Immediately after he left, I knew I wanted to dance with him. Of course I would. I’ve known him since I was in 4th grade and have had a crush on him for a year now. All I had to do was wait a few minutes and I would get to live out a fairytale dream. Dancing across the room in a flowey dress with the guy I liked. Of course it would be strictly platonic on his end but it could mean something more to me silently.

So there I sat, with my empty juice box, tapping my foot in excitement. The first slow song ended and there was no sign of Eddie, but I was sure he just caught up with volunteer work. After the next 3 songs played I began to doubt myself slightly.

‘Maybe he hadn’t actually wanted to dance like it had seemed. But he looked really sincere when asking me. Yeah. And even if Eddie is just a regular teenage boy, and he can definitely be a jerk sometimes, he’s much sweeter and kinder than most. He wouldn’t leave me hanging like that. He’ll be back any minute now, I’m sure.’

By the time 11 more songs had played, I knew he wasn’t coming back. Tears were smearing my mascara while I sat as still as possible on the bleachers, not wanting to draw any attention to myself.

Of course he wasn’t being serious. He just wanted to tease me like usual, the only difference was this time it went too far. This time he was cruel about it. He could have just told me he didn’t mean it. Instead he strung me along and had me sitting here like a lovesick puppy for an hour straight.

Who was I kidding? Eddie couldn’t be interested in me. He was my brother's best friend and had seen me grow up. I was just his friend’s chubby little sister. Wearing a dress that doesn’t sparkle and shine like all the others’, sitting alone and pouting like a baby.

He probably thought I would crush his feet if I accidentally stepped on them.

After persevering through another hour of horror, James finds me in my corner ready to head home.

“All ready to go?” he asks jovially like he always seems to be.

“Yes.”

James picks up on my mood right away, but I’m already halfway to the car before he can say anything.

“Okay, uh, I gotta clean up some stuff still but here,” he throws me his car keys when I turn back around, “Go get the car started yeah?”

I nod and head out to the car when I see Eddie jogging up to the doors after me. My steps speed up hoping for all hell to avoid him. He calls my name but I don’t look back or slow down, in fact, the only thing it succeeds in doing is making me walk faster.

My hands shake as I try to slip the key into the driver’s side door handle. Warm hands settle on my wrists.

“Holy shit, I am so sorry, shortcake. I was so excited to dance with you, I really was, I just got caught up in helping another volunteer with something and lost track of time. I didn’t mean to forget you there all alone, I swear on everything. I know how excited you were for tonight and I am so sorry. I didn’t realize how long I had been gone until everyone started leaving and then I saw you get up and realized what I’d done, please forgive me,” he rambles off almost too quickly to understand.

I expect tears but all I get is a deep rooted feeling of shame and anger. Ashamed by the fact that I thought he would come back and angry at myself for sitting there hopelessly when I could’ve danced with Robin at least.

“Please, look at me. Please tell me you at least got to dance with someone else, right? You had a good time? Please tell me you at least had fun,” he pleads.

A scoff escapes me as I whirl on him.

“No, I didn’t dance with someone else, I sat there and I waited for you. I waited for you the whole time, and I guess that was my first mistake wasn’t it, huh? I believed you. I really thought you meant what you said to me.”

I rip my arms out of hold.

“You know what’s funny, too? I was actually having a really good time before you showed up. I told you as much earlier, even. I was perfectly happy to sit by myself, considering that’s how I spend most of my time anyway. I was really enjoying just watching the lights and the twirl of dresses, alone. I was overjoyed to just sit and watch Robin dance with her friends. And you had to come and- and lie to me! You made me feel special for fuck’s sake.”

His eyes flash with guilt and he must have finally realized how much he hurt me.

“I get that I’m not the prettiest and skinniest girl and I know that most of those kids don’t even know my name, but you do! You know me. You know me and you still forgot about me,” I pause and take a deep breath, “Do you remember what I said that night when I fell off my bike?”

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nobody would even notice if I were gone. Nobody, not even you, I guess. You forgot about me not even 5 minutes after making me feel like the most special girl in that whole damn room. And that was really mean, Eddie. I hope you, at least, have a good rest of your night,” I step into the car and start the engine.

Steve plops down next to me holding 4 cans of beer, one for each of us.

“I’m really happy I came tonight, thank you, for inviting me and not forgetting about me after I kinda disappeared,” I say quietly.

Steve pats my back while Robin says something along the lines of ‘duh, of course we would never forget about you.’

Eddie stays silent, watching me closely.

I put my drink on the ground beside me and lay on my back, pulling my shirt down to make sure it covers me still. I start to count the stars, just to keep my brain occupied. My eyes drift shut, my mind choosing to visit yet another memory tonight.

It was James’ graduation party. All we had were a couple tables set up with snacks in the backyard and a bonfire, nothing too fancy. I made a simple ‘Happy Graduation!’ banner to hang across the gate for everyone to see, too.

I’m wearing a plain white sundress and converse, I knew I would be running back and forth from the backyard and the kitchen too much for heels to be sensible. Making sure there’s enough drinks and food and ice for everyone was my job tonight. The sun is still up, melting the ice and warming every drink out here.

James calls my name softly, “You can quit running around and tending to every little need. Come hang out with everyone for a little bit. Please?”

I set down the metal tub where drinks are kept and walk over to sit around the fire with him and his usual friends. New faces have popped up over the years, but many stayed the same. Danny Williams, a junior who may or may not have been my first kiss when we happened to both show up at the same party and ended up playing spin the bottle together, Jason Carver, a freshman who appeared promising on the football team before switching to basketball instead, Michael Brown, a senior who’s been in the little Hellfire Group since the beginning. There are several others I don’t recognize and even more that I do.

Of course, Eddie is there too. I just haven’t really…acknowledged him in…in a really long time.

I haven’t necessarily been giving him the silent treatment, but I stopped entertaining the conversations he always seemed to start with me.

Danny greets me with a smile as he sits down next to me. He even pulls his lawn chair a little closer towards mine, grinning slightly while doing so.

“What can I do for you Danny?” I say.

“Oh nothing. I just wanted to come sit by you, is all.” Huh. That…that sort of stumps me.

I didn’t think Danny would even recognize me at the party, and I’m honestly even more surprised that he wanted to talk to me after kissing me. We make small conversation, butting into the rest of the group's discussion once in a while to add an opinion.

Night had fallen and marshmallows and graham crackers were brought out for s'mores, as well as a couple of 12 packs of beer that someone had brought with them.

I knew James had gone to several parties to celebrate winning a football game where there had been alcohol, or even just little get-togethers where it was provided. I guess now that it was only soon-to-be seniors and high school graduates, minus myself, left at the party it was time for that portion of the night to begin.

I stand up to go in and let the others have their fun.

“Where’re you going?” Danny asks, grabbing my hand lightly, looking up with wide puppy dog eyes. His eyes are a pretty green color. Brown eyes have always been my favorite, though.

“Oh, I was just going to head in and call it a night. That way you all could have your fun without worrying about me dragging you down.”

My comment makes his brows furrow, his mouth opens to say something, but he’s cut off.

“You can stay out here, you know. No one minds having you here and I’m sure dear old James doesn’t care if you partake in a little drink, do you?” Eddie states. When did he get so close to us?

“Even if I did care she gets to do what she wants, man. As long as you're safe about it, go for it,” James says, patting my back and taking one for himself.

I’ve never drank before, but what the hell? James was leaving in just a few weeks now and this might be my only chance to try it. It’s certainly one of my last chances to hang out with everyone like this, at least for a while.

After just 2 cans my tongue had already loosened significantly. Danny and I had been talking and giggling the whole time until he had gotten up to go home since his designated driver was ready to leave.

“So, you and Danny seem pretty close suddenly?” Eddie phrases it like a question, wanting more information on the subject.

Usually I would just hum in what could be taken as agreement or disinterest but my mind was running a little slower than normal.

“Yeah, he and I kinda ran into each other at a party that I kinda crashed with Robin and we ended up, like, kissing and stuff,” I giggled. “But shhhh, don’t tell anyone else.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, but that could have been a trick of the light.

“What, uh, what do you mean by ‘and stuff’?”

“Oh nothing. We just had one teensy tiny kiss because we were playing spin the bottle,” I say, not really thinking about it.

Now I really know my brain is playing tricks on me because for a second I think Eddie looks pleased with this new knowledge that it didn’t really mean anything.

“I feel like we haven’t really talked in a long time. What’s, uh, what’s been up, lately?”

The question itself is awkward, but the way he struggled through it made it even more awkward.

“I’ve been regular old me, Eddie. Nothing new or exciting. Although I did finish a book last night that really threw me through a loop. Oh! Actually there is something exciting! Do you wanna hear it?”

He smiles, “Of course I do, shortcake.”

“Well,” I take another sip of what is now my third beer, “William Gillar and Stacy Johnson have finally graduated!” I let out a squeal.

Eddie just looks at me confused.

“Do you have any idea what this means, Eds? I am finally free of those two asshats for the rest of my high school experience! Isn’t that amazing! I mean, it was easier to ignore this year than last year, but god I am so thrilled! No more mean notes from them calling me a pig in my locker and book bag, I can even finally find a table to sit at for lunch instead of hiding in Mr. Steerwell’s class,” I sigh happily.

“Do you wanna know what else they did? This is so silly! They used to catch me on my walk home from school and steal my library books. How stupid is that? Why would you steal someone’s library books, right? They would run around with it so I would chase after them and then laugh at how my body would jiggle. How funny, right? I am so happy they’re gone, Eds, you have no idea.”

Eddie has his mouth halfway open, anger flaring in his eyes. But that couldn’t be right, why would he care about a couple of high school bullies.

“No, that’s not funny or silly. That’s been going on this whole time? And you didn’t tell anyone? God, why wouldn’t you tell someone, sweetheart? That’s horrible,” he says.

“Meh, it’s just normal high school bully stuff.” I wave my hand in dismissal.

“No, it’s not. Bullying shouldn’t even be considered normal anyway, but what they did to you? That goes far beyond normal, shortcake. I wish you would have said something. You know James and I would’ve taken care of them for you, right?”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it. It’s too late,” I dismiss him and his misplaced worry. Honestly, it was nothing I couldn’t handle. He must have sensed how much I didn’t want to talk about it anymore because he dropped it.

The night moves quickly after that, people say their goodbyes as James takes over clean up duty, considering I can barely stand up without nearly falling asleep.

“Eddie, will you take her in and make sure she gets into bed okay?” James asks.

That’s how I find myself being semi-dragged up the stairs to my bedroom and thrown on the mattress like a sack of potatoes. I don’t think Eddie was half as rough as my brain made it seem, to be honest.

“Eds?” I whisper looking down at Eddie who’s kneeling by feet, gently taking my shoes off.

“Yeah?”

A couple beats of silence pass where I try to figure out how to word what I’m thinking.

“I forgive you.” His movements stop. “I hope you know that. It’s probably such a silly little thing to even remember but I forgive you for forgetting to dance with me. I probably would have forgotten me, too. And…and I am sorry. I really am, for pushing you away so hard after. It was really stupid of me and I wish I hadn’t. Robin is a good friend, but you’re kind of the closest thing I’ve ever had to a best friend, I think. And I threw that all away over hurt feelings. Puberty, am I right?” I giggle.

“S’ not silly to remember that. And you weren’t being stupid, sweetheart. You were hurt, you were protecting yourself and I don’t blame you for that. I should never have even walked away from you that night, but I did. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness for it,” Eddie says.

More words mumble out of his mouth but none of it registers. Soon the noise stops and I feel Eddie’s warm hands pull my shoes all the way off, pushing my legs onto the bed and turning me to lay comfortably on my stomach.

He must remember that’s my favorite way to sleep.

My mind must really hate me because I swear, right before I fall asleep, I feel lips pressing gently to my forehead while a guitar calloused hand pushes hair away from my eyes.

Of course, that didn’t actually happen because that’s not something Eddie would do. Right? Yeah, he wouldn’t…

A timid shake to my shoulder pulls me from my dozing.

“Hey, shortcake, it’s time for you to go in.”

There’s only one person who’s ever called me by that nickname.

“Hm, it’s been a while since you’ve called me that…Eds.”

I don’t know what made me decide to use his nickname. It never seemed right to use it after we drifted so far apart when James left.

Eddie helps pull me to my feet.

‘Hmmm, he’s always been a lot stronger than he looks. I barely even lifted myself up for him.’

“Oh, now you wanna be all friendly again? Using a nickname and everything? What’s this all about, huh?” Eddie says, steadying me with his calloused hands when my legs wobble.

My brows furrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Earlier, when we were in the house. You practically ran away from me. I mean, it’s just that we…we haven’t seen each other since we went into the upside down. I thought maybe,” he lets out a long breath. “Maybe things had changed or something, I guess. I was hoping we could talk about it after we all got out but you’ve been avoiding everyone.”

“And why is that? Why do you think things would have changed Eddie?”

“No! No, no, no! Edward Munson, if you cut that rope, so help me god!”

“You know I always love when you use my full name.”

And the bastard cuts the rope.

The next thing I know, he’s out of the trailer doing something entirely too heroic and the exact amount of stupid he always is.

Before I can think I shove Dustin out of the trailer, the one not in the upside down, and send him to go help Lucas.

“No! We need to help him! Can’t you see that he needs help!”

“I know Dustin, I know. That’s why I’m staying here. But I need you to go find Lucas and Erica and check on Max. There are others who still need our help, Henderson. Please, listen to me and go help them.”

I turn back into the trailer before he can disagree again, locking the door to make sure he doesn’t follow. Without second guessing, I jump through the portal, landing somewhat safely on my side.

I manage to find a bike and just a few minutes later I’m riding as fast as I can towards the bat tornado that Eddie stands in the middle of.

“Eddie you dumb jerk, you better not be getting yourself killed!” I scream at the top of my lungs. His eyes catch mine as a look of horror crosses his face.

“Why the hell did you follow me? I specifically told you not to!”

“Yeah, well I specifically told you not to cut the rope!”

We fight off the bats as best we can until they all suddenly drop to the ground.

Eddie and I stand breathing hard, our brains trying to catch up with all of what just happened. Eddie turns to me, a grin beginning to form.

I punch him as hard as I can in the chest. And then I do it again, and then again and again, until I’m pounding my fists against his chest over and over again.

“What the hell?! Honey, stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!”

I choke on hiccupping sobs as hot tears overflow past my lashes.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again! Ever!”

Eddie grabs my wrists to keep me from hitting him anymore. I keep trying until I realize his hold on me is too strong.

“Princess, you gotta stop. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore, please stop.”

He wraps his arms around me, stroking the back of my hair, pressing soft kisses to my forehead.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. We’re okay, I promise.”

“That was not okay, Eddie. Not okay!” I tell him looking up into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I really am. But look, we did it!”

He looks down at me thoughtfully. His eyes flit down to my lips. My breath catches.

He couldn’t possibly be…

His lips are on mine. And Eddie Munson is kissing me.

Both of his hands are on the side of my face, rubbing his thumbs softly across the apples of my chubby cheeks.

I pull away, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Kissing my shortcake,” he says with a smirk while I grimace at the phrase. He laughs at the face I make and kisses me again.

I kiss back harder this time, getting lost in all things Eddie. The way his hair feels soft even despite being so dirty. His lips are somehow minty. He smells like smoke and old books.

My heart soars. This has to be proof, then. Eddie must think of me the way I think of him. I can’t imagine ever kissing someone with this much passion if it didn’t mean something more. I smile into the kiss.

Footsteps sound behind where we stand and Eddie pushes me off of him, placing several feet between us. I look at him confused and hurt by his sudden change in behavior. He refuses to meet my eyes. He even wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, looking straight ahead at Steve, Robin and Nancy appearing in front of us.

Oh.

He’s too embarrassed to let his new friends see him with the big girl? Is that what it is? Does he suddenly regret kissing me? Was it just a heat of the moment type of deal, then? I was the closest human thing, so he settled on me for a little ‘yay the world didn’t end’ kiss?

In my whole life, I don’t think anything has hurt as much as that did.

An uncomfortable amount of silence fills the air..

“Things got weird after James left, but you know that. We both felt it, even though we tried to ignore it. Jason started to act like he ran the damn school even though we were friends at one point. I never saw you because we were never at your house anymore. Then I got held back and we basically had every class together. Then I got held back again and you graduated. I missed you. I really, really missed you,” he says the last part quietly. Almost like he was afraid for me to hear it. I hold back a scoff.

“I missed you so much, it’s ridiculous. I just wanted my shortcake back. My sweetheart, my princess, my honey,” he laughs to himself, I stay quiet. “God, I was such a jerk to you growing up. And not because ‘I had a crush on you’ because that’s bullshit, guys shouldn’t be allowed to be mean to girls with the excuse of it being ‘romantic’. I wish I had treated you better, been a little friendlier. I never realized how much you meant to me until your brother’s graduation.”

He takes his eyes away from his feet to glance at me.

“Do you remember that night? It was your first time drinking and you got so sleepy I had to tuck you into bed. You had told me about you and Danny at that party and it made me jealous. I’d never really felt jealous before, certainly not like that at least. It made me realize how deep my feelings for you went.”

I remain silent, partly because I didn’t want to interrupt him when this is the most honest and vulnerable he’s ever been, out of respect, and partly because I was utterly confused and angered by what he was saying and claiming.

“You forgave me for leaving you alone at the dance, even though I never deserved to be forgiven for that. I didn’t even know how badly you were being bullied at school until you told me, that’s not a person who deserves to be forgiven.”

A soft laugh and a pause. “I guess what I’m saying is…is I wish things had, in fact, changed after Vecna. And I know, that’s probably not something you want to hear because I know it’s not the same for you but I figure if you’re not gonna talk to me anyway, I may as well tell you, right?”

He takes a step towards the house but I don’t let him get far.

“What do you mean it’s ‘not the same for me’?”

“Well obviously you’ve been ignoring me since I kissed you so, clearly it wasn’t something you wanted.” He shrugs his shoulders. “And that’s okay. I’m not saying you have to be with me or anything, I’m just saying…I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“I’ve been ignoring you?” I ask, dumbfounded by his idiocy.

“Well, yeah. You haven’t even been answering the walkie.”

“And you think that was because I didn’t want to kiss you? Not because, oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that the second Nance and the others showed up you shoved me away from you? It couldn’t have been because it was obvious you couldn’t stand the thought of being seen with me?”

Eddie’s face drains of color.

“I can’t help but see now that this is all you think I deserve. A quick kiss when no one can see, right? A little making out before someone can figure who you’re with, huh?”

“No! That is not at all what that was! I can’t believe you would think that. I pushed you away so you wouldn’t be seen with me!” he shouts, cutting me off.

“What?”

“The whole town wanted me for murder! Murder! They thought I was running a cult that killed my friend as a sacrifice! My friend! I didn’t want you to be tied to that anymore than you already were, so I pushed you off before the others could see. If someone, somehow went yapping about a girlfriend of mine and things went sideways when we got out of the upside down, you might have gone down with me and I couldn’t let that happen. I just couldn’t. I was going to tell you all of this as soon as I could but you never let me get the chance, and I see why now. I am so sorry it looked like I was embarrassed to be with you, but that will never be the case with me.”

He takes my face in his hands and looks me directly in the eyes.

“You are single-handedly the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out. You have always cared for me and the old Hellfire Club. Don’t think I didn’t know it was you sending cookies on our campaign nights, even after graduating. I remember when I showed up at your house looking for James because some older kids had taken my lunch money in middle school, little you went after them yourself and did one helluva job doing it. You sat me down and cleaned me up. Gave me peas to put on my forehead.”

It was like a forgotten memory was just pulled up by his words, I did remember that.

“I could never be embarrassed by you, ever. I don’t care what people think. I…I love you. And I love your hair, and I love your eyes, and I love your laugh, and I love your stomach and your thighs, and I love your mind. I love you and I hope you can see it. I hope…I hope you can see me,” he finishes off in a very quiet whisper, tilting his head down and away from my eyes.

I place my hands over his that still hold my face.

“I have always seen you, Eddie Munson. Always.”

His head jolts up to look me in the eyes once more.

“God, Eddie, I’m so sorry. I know you’re not a horrible person, I should have known, I’m so sorry. God, you were literally being hunted for murder and I was crying about you being embarrassed by me? I’m so fucking sorry.”

I shake my head and take a deep breath.

“I love you, I have for so long. I love the way you smile, I love the way you’re not afraid to take up space, I love the way you’re there for Dustin, the way you were there for me countless times. I love you and your horrible music.”

“Hey, now. Watch it.”

I laugh, “I love you and I see you and I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re forgiven, I promise. You didn’t even really need to apologize in the first place.”

“Yes, I did. Because none of that was fair to you.”

“And none of that was fair to you, shortcake. It’s okay.”

I look at his lips, and that’s all the cue Eddie needs to kiss me. Finally. We put our hearts into it, getting lost in each other. Getting lost in our sudden understandings of the other.

“We’re both really kinda stupid aren’t we? Stupid and oblivious,” I say, chuckling quietly.

“Oh, definitely. I mean, we’ve known each other for, what, at least ten years and we couldn’t figure this out without a bunch of drama?”

“It seems very on brand for you actually, you’ve always been one for the dramatics.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

#eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x chubby reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #my boyfriend eddie #my writing

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doodlevich · 10 months

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DTIYS: Mickey + Puppy 🐶

For dear Harvey’s challenge!❤️ @mikhailoisbaby

I got inspired by Mickey and the dog and wondered how Ian would fit in to the whole things… and then a wrote a little au meetcute fic about it for good measure :-)

🔽🔽🔽

“The fuck is wrong with that thing?”

Ian glances over his shoulder and in doing so almost trips over a tree root sticking out of the ground.

Standing in front of him is a gorgeous, dark haired man, sporting blue eyes that basically pierce Ian’s fucking soul. He’s wearing various shades of black and the look of disgust curling up his sharp features tells Ian that the guy wouldn’t like it much if he was referred to as ‘slightly petite’.

But he is, though. Just Ian’s type.

“What’s w-wrong with what?” Ian sputters, at a loss for words as he takes it all in. Then he remembers he happens to be holding a shivering chihuahua wrapped in a pink puffer doggie vest and pink booties to match.

Goddamnit Tami.

“Oh? The chihuahua?” Ian chuckles once the pieces all click. “She belongs to my sister-in-law. I’m dog-sitting while she and my brother visit her family.”

The dark haired stranger snorts. “If you can call that a dog.” He reaches down to pat his own animal on the head, and Ian realizes he was so caught up with the man than he didn’t even notice the pit-bull by his side. “Looks like it’s one wrong move away from being lunch-meat.”

Ian shrugs. It’s a fair point.

“Yeaaaah, Penelope it’s one for picking fights.” The Chihuahua wriggles in the crook of his arm and yips at the mention of her name.

The man snorts. “Penelope? Jesus Christ, man.”

“Fitting right?” Ian smiles at the pitbull’s blissed our expression as the mystery man scratches below the chin. “What’s his name then?” He nods towards the larger dog. “Monster-mutt? Grave-digger? Maximum Destruction?”

The man laughs, a low rumble, and it’s the best thing Ian’s ever heard with his own two ears.

“First off, stop listing names of fuckin’ monster trucks.” He snorts. “And second, her name is Lia.”

Ian laughs along. “And you’re over here busting Penelope’s balls for having a cutesy name?”

The man shrugs. “She already had a name when I adopted her from the rescue shelter. Not gonna confuse her by re-naming her.”

“She’s a rescue dog, huh?” Everything Ian learns makes him want to know more about this guy. “Mind if I ask her owner’s name?” Ian can’t tell if he’s being smooth or coming across as a dumbass, but the man seems amused regardless.

“Me? Name’s Mickey.” He extends his hand to shake, and before Ian takes it he notices the knuckle tats- yet another factor to drive him wild. “How about you? Got a name?”

“Ian.” Ian shakes his hand firmly, and it feels like more than a mere formality. He swears he’s not imagining it- there’s a spark when they touch, and Ian realizes he can’t waste an opportunity to change his life for the better.

“You up to anything after this?” Ian asks, projecting all the confidence he can muster. “I know a bar about a block from here that’s dog-friendly…”

Mickey’s eyebrows shoot up, and for a moment Ian wonders if he’s reading the signals wrong. Then a grin appears on Mickey’s face.

“You askin’ me on a date, Ian?”

Ian’s face heats up, but he’s giddy, something he hasn’t felt in years. “Maybe. If that’s what you wanna call it. Kinda just want to get to know you better, Mickey.”

“You’re in luck then, cuz I love a good mid-day beer.” Mickey sets off down the park path, motioning for Ian to follow him. “And a drinking buddy wouldn’t be so bad, either.”

It takes Ian a moment to realize that this is Mickey’s way of saying ‘yes’, but once he does, he’s jogging to catch up, Penelope bouncing in the crook of his arm.

Something tells Ian he’s just made the best decision of his life.

#dtiys #gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich fanart #ian and mickey #ian x mickey #shameless fanart #digital art #gallavich fic

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chaos0pikachu · 5 months

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Hi chaos,

So people on other socials are saying playboyy is camp? I don't quite get that vibe so I'm asking do you? Why?

*cracks neck* okay let's do this; this got wildly long so I'm putting a chunk of it behind a cut b/c unlike some blogs I'm not gonna subject anyone to endless and endless scrolling just b/c I added pictures anyway~~

So people are probably getting this from Den himself:

I talked about camp an itty bitty bit before, specifically I quoted Susan Sontag who was an American academic, novelist and writer mostly known for her essays. You can read more about her here. Specifically I quoted her essay Notes on Camp:

(source)

I really recommend reading the entire essay, it's a bit dated, but Sontag also makes a point that camp changes with the times as well. This essay was written, after all, in 1964, before Hairspray (1988), Batman (1966), Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), or Mommie Dearest (1981) which are considered camp classics now. However there's a lot of good stuff to learn in her essay and she also names a lot of prominent either queer creators - Oscar Wilde, Jean Cocteau - or prominent figures that the queer community sorta like, claimed - Bette Davis, Greta Garbo.

Camp is a concept, it's not a hard and fast rule. Not every film or TV show that gets claimed as camp is intended to be camp - Showgirls and Mommie Dearest are sincere in their intentions, they are not trying to be camp at all, but through sheer accidental glory they stumbled right into the camp valley. Similarly with a film I recently learned about via this amazing essay, Valley of the Dolls which was also sincere in it's depiction of drugs, sex, and show business but just ended up...campy (this is part 2 which is my favorite part but part 1 is great too):

youtube

I would also recommend this video by Kennie JD on Showgirls and you get a modern idea of how a non-film critic sees the camp in Showgirls even tho it's not intended as camp (Paul Verhoeven is never going for camp in his films he's often going for satire and yet, alas lol):

youtube

Okay so this is getting away from me, the question was "Is Playboyy Camp?"

I would argue, yes but definition but it's more classic definition rather than what people probably associate with "camp" in the modern day. Which is "bad" films, or so-bad-they're-good films, or drag queens - would love to see Zouey in full drag actually - but Rocky Horror isn't a "bad" film, heck Showgirls isn't a "bad" film, neither is But I'm a Cheerleader or Jawbreakers, or many other camp classics. Some are "bad" in that they didn't achieve their intentions - again Mommie Dearest is a great, if unfortunate, example of this actually - but films that intentionally try to be camp tend to fail, like Cat and the Hat starring Jim Carrey. They're to fake, they try to hard.

As Sontag said, camp is both sincere and pure and it is also abstract and highlights aesthetic first and foremost.

Showgirls grabbed people in part b/c it's so so so very over the top; from the acting yes but also the costuming and set design. But I'm a Cheerleader had a way smaller budget, but it's very aesthetics focused:

I've seen people say that Playboyy looks "fake" or "artificial" but so does But I'm a Cheerleader. However artificial is the wrong word, imo, to use here; rather both are camp and surreal. They're going with surrealistic aesthetics to emphasize the emotions of the characters and also, cause gays like color. We love that shit. It stands out. It's fucking fun, it's campy!

I don't think Playboyy is strictly camp but it does take inspiration from camp - it pushes its priorities of the film making to be about the aesthetics rather than emphasizing reality. It's not uninterested in reality - the discussions of sex work in a amoral way (which sidenote I think is a good thing), of sexual desires, the complexities of relationships and boundaries, the acknowledgement of kink etc - but it's uninterested in presenting the world of the show solely through a "realistic" lens visually.

Fantasy is part of the narrative of Playboyy thus that is reflected in the visuals.

BIAC is part satire, which I wouldn't say Playboyy is, since it's not satirizing anything specific - unlike Lovely Writer attempted and didn't accomplish imo doing well from what I watched - it's clear to me that Den is playing a lot with genre. Now how well him and Cheewin the director are accomplishing this, well that's up to individual interpretation.

I can't force people to like Playboyy as much as me - even tho I'm right - b/c I'm not a weirdo and we all like different shit. I do think that Playboyy is using like, actual cinematography however. Like I see that word thrown around a lot and then people provide really like basic examples. Like I'm so sorry but 2Gether's cinematography is basic at best and boring at worst. Two dudes standing in a badly lit room in a mid-shot does not impressive cinematography make - which is fine because a lot of these shows are made on shoestring budgets.

I don't expect Moonlight level cinematography from gmmtv or MeMindY shows. And Playboyy doesn't have that level either it can't it's clearly also made on a small budget.

That said it IS filmed with purpose, and with a specific visual language. Not every shot is great but I do love the sincerity here, it's using color, lighting, and set design with actual thought to enhance the overall aesthetics of the show, enhance the fantasy at play, the camp.

Camp films aren't inherently "bad" films. They make you laugh, scream, and the best ones, actually do say something or spark discussion. Rocky Horror is meaningful to people, But I'm a Cheerleader means something to people, they're both unashamedly queer films that were both kinda bombs - critically and financially - and then slowly gained a cult following b/c they were way ahead of their times.

I get the feeling if camp applies to Playboyy at all it's in that sense, a series that's being pretty harshly maligned and disregarded critically at the moment, but that actually has a ton to say and may end up gaining a following down the line after it's over.

This was like, wildly long and I apologize lol

#playboyy the series #chaos pikachu speaks #chaos pikachu metas #anon asks

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cyn-write · 2 months

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The Little Cecelia - Chapter 1: Friends

Summary - Every 100 years, the spirit of the Great Seven and their Rival return. Sometimes, they attempt to right the wrongs of the past, get revenge, or relive the same story, but it all is the same - only one spirit gets their Happily Ever After. Azul has always had a fascination with the human world, which only intensified once he met a human girl, Grace Trien. His desires to become a Great Mage of both Land and Sea and to explore the human world and all its wonders with the Tweels and Grace by his side, but Prince Rielle is willing to do what ever it takes to stop the little Cecelia from getting his Happy Ending.

Masterlist - Next

Pairing - Azul Ashengrotto x F!Oc (Grace Trein)

Tags/Warnings - Friends to Lovers; Bullying; Grace is Trein's Daughter; Angst -> Fluff; Self-Deperication

Notes - I have been working on this for a very long time, and I hope you enjoy it! Grace Trein is based off my Oc Grace Wilde so if you want to learn more about her click the link, but you can replace her name when reading if you want to read it as Yuu or another name. This is only the first chapter of 11, so if you enjoy this and want to be tagged or have questions, please let me know! This is also on Ao3 if you want to follow it over there. Comments, likes, and Reblogs are appreciated!

Without Further Ado: Once Upon a Time.....

Every Merchild was told from a young age how dangerous the humans were. Parents, Teachers, Elders all told tales of the vicious humans who slaughtered merfolk by the dozens and the clever traps they would use to ensnare merfolk for prizes. Landfolk were all described as hideous creatures fascinated with lifeless contraptions. They were monsters… or so the stories said.

Despite the fear, some dared to have a fascination with the beings above. Azul has always had a fascination with the landfolk and their contraptions but stayed away from the shore out of fear. But sometimes, greater forces led people to face their fears. Forces named Rielle.

Azul was minding his own business, studying a new trinket he found that morning while the twins were off hunting for lunch. It was a triangle with a rounded bottom and a cone on the top that made things look closer when peered though. It had an engraving on the side of an odd creature with four legs and fins sprouting from its back. As he looked through the cone at some fish, he failed to notice the Merprince and his gang readying their rocks.

“HEY OCTOTWERP! CATCH!” Called the red-haired prince as he signaled the attack. Azul jumped from his spot and felt the first of the rocks hit is tentacles. He accidentally inked as he swam away as fast as his tentacles could propel him. “GET HIM!”

On the princes’ orders, the merchild brigade chased him away from the reef and towards forbidden waters.

“JADE! FLOYD! HELP!!” He called out, but the eel twins were nowhere in sight. He looked for another way out, but he was surrounded. He passed the ship graveyard, the kept forest, the rock grove. He could feel his tentacles strain to keep up the pace and all three of his hearts beating at record speed, but the tyrannical prince would not give in until he saw Azul crying and crippled.

“Come on Azul think.” He grunted as he weaved through jagged rocks. Then he saw the sea floor start to incline and a dangerous idea came to mind. Rumor has it that there is a cave that use to be the home of a long-dead exiled Sea Witch and all rumors had a grain of truth. As the rocks got bigger, he saw the carcasses of sharks and whales and knew he was getting close.

“Rielle! He’s heading towards the shore!” He heard Rielle’s right-hand, a flounder named Florence call out.

“Then hurry up you guppy! Don’t let fatso escape!” Rielle called back; his voice was getting closer.

Azul scanned his surroundings and saw it, a small opening underneath a whale head. He darted for the bones and heard the bullies change direction after him. In a last stitch effort to lose his pursuers, he took a deep breath, concentrated, and squeezed himself into the hole. It was a tight fit, but he made it. As he shimmied through, some of his tentacles loosened rocks that blocked the entrance, stopping his pursuers and trapping him in the process. The hole grew larger, and he let himself stop and hide.

He hid in the larger hole and listened.

“Florence! Get out of the way! I’ll blast my way in!” Rielle called.

Just as Azul prepared to face his death, he heard the distinct voices of his saviors “In where, Princie~”

“TWEEELS!” Florence shrieked in fear.

“We playing a game here?” Jade asked.

“Oooo~ I wanna play!” Floyd retorted and all Azul could hear was chaos.

“Your highness, we need to leave! This place is way too close for comfort.” Another of the prince’s posse, Sebet if Azul was correct, said. “Besides, they’re doomed anyway, let’s leave them for the fishermen. We can play with Azul later. He has to come back sometime.”

“Fine.” Rielle sounded annoyed then decided to shout, “YA HEAR THAT AZUL! SHOW YOUR FAT FACE IN ATLANTICA AGAIN AND WE’LL GETCHA! INKING WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS!”

“YA! WELL NEXT TIME WE SEE YUR FACE OUTTA ALENTICA WELL BE SNACKING ON PRINCIE!” Floyd called back.

Azul heard the group laugh as they swam away.

“Azul, are you in there?” Jade called.

“Yeah, I think I’m stuck…” Azul called back, choking on his words from crying.

“Hold on Zul! We’ll get ya outa there!” Floyd called, “I think there’s another entrance over there!”

“Azul, we’ll be right back!” Jade said before the two swam away.

Azul waited a few minutes before letting himself take a deep breath. A few tears escaped his eyes as he realized his doom. He was stuck in a cave. He couldn’t get out. The twins would get bored of helping him soon enough. And if he went back home, the prince and his school were waiting for him.

‘Would mom look for me?’ He thought as more tears streamed from his blue eyes, ‘She probably thinks I’m dead anyway…she’ll just try again with dad and forget I ever existed.’

His tentacles curled in on themselves as he cried. No wonder the other fry picked on him, he was just a crybaby, that’s all he’ll ever be.

Then one of his tentacles hit something… a vial. He looked up from his spot as his tentacle picked up the object. It was thin, made of glass with a cork keeping some green stuff in it. Then another hit a different object, a rounder, thicker glass container holding a powdery substance. Ever curious, Azul moved forward and saw more vials. Somewhat intact and held different substances while others were broken and had the contents spewed around them. The deeper he went; he saw more things covered in moss with age. Then he entered a larger opening, what must be the main room. In the center was a caldron overturned and around it was different objects.

‘The stories were true… this is the witch’s layer!’ Azul’s mood quickly turned from despair to joy. “I can’t believe it! I’m in The Sea Witch’s layer!”

For once he was thankful for his tentacles as he explored the cavern. He looked into different rooms and saw bedrooms, a kitchen, storerooms and the most wonderful library! In the library there where rows upon rows of spell books. He took some off and skimmed the contents. There where books for beauty potions, translations spells, identification incantations, and even transmutation! He was pulling different books then found a peculiar one titled “Cecelia: A History.” Out of curiosity he pulled it, and the shelf began to move.

A new, hidden tunnel appeared. It was dark and lead straight up, so being the curious creature he is, he went up. His amazement pushed his caution to the side as he began to think about what could be up there: magical artifacts, forbidden spell books, long dead secrets! But instead, it led to the surface. He saw the end of the water and paused. He had never broken to the surface before… but what could be up there? He was already here, might as well take a peek.

He took a deep breath and slowly lifted his head above the water. What he saw amazed him: another living space. It was almost exactly like the one below with a cauldron in the center and a smaller set of shelves behind it filled with things. To the side was a makeshift kitchen, a bedroom, and a sitting room with furniture made from the brown, rough material sunken ships were made of. After determining that the land was also deserted, he rose higher and got the courage to climb onto the land. His tentacles moved on the dry land pretty easily and adjusted to the sudden pressure quickly. After determining it was safe, he let his curiosity take over. He rushed over to the shelves and looked at the different books and objects. He picked them up and read the different titles, some were spell books, but others were books on human society. He made a mental note to read them later after he explored some more. Then he saw a necklace. A beautiful shell necklace that seemed to glow slightly. As his hand brushed the shell, then he heard a noise.

Crying, someone was crying. He darted back to the water out of fear and hid under the waves. ‘Someone’s here… I thought this place was aban- wait… that sounds like its coming from over there…’ He swam towards a second entrance to this place. It was vertical and there was a light coming from the other side. He went through the tunnel and saw the sand make a sharp incline up. ‘The Shore!’

The crying got louder and through the water he saw a small figure. ‘Leave! GO! This is Dangerous!’ part of him screamed in his brain, but the other part recognized that crying. It was a cry of loneliness. He clenched his fist and took another deep breath “Kept it.” He told himself then rose to peer out of the water. He peaked his eyes out of the water but that was all he needed to see the most beautiful being he has ever seen: A human girl.

She looked to be around his age, skin the color of white sand, golden hair like waves fell over her shoulders and hid her face. She had on a cloth thing in a pink color more vibrate than he had ever seen with a matching ribbon in her hair. He could see her legs, thin things that had the oddest fins attached to them with thinner tentacles on the end of them. Her legs were pulled into her chest with her arms keeping them close. He had been in that position many times before. Her sobs echoed in the cavern and made his heart hurt. Next to her was a brown basket made of the same particular material that the furniture was made of. Inside it were books and cloth wrapped objects.

He watched her for a moment and a part of him wanted to swim closer. Subconsciously, a single tentacle stretches close to the girl, and it wasn’t until he saw the black limb creeping up to her legs that he noticed. He wrenched the tentacle back and it caused a splash.

“Who’s there!” The girl looked up quicker than he could sink down. Their eyes locked in that moment, and he was stunned. Vibrant green orbs starred back at him. Filled a familiar sensation that he knew all too well: loneliness.

He has no clue how long they stayed like that. Staring at each other unsure what to do. She was the one to break the silence. “Woah… you’re a.. A mermaid!”

She moved closer and Azul sunk down into the depths, his rational brain telling him to flee.

“Wait! I-I won’t hurt you! Please don’t go!” He heard her call. He saw her legs running towards him in the water and he backed-up terrified. He was about to run, but what she said next would be the words that changed Azul’s life forever: “Please… I-I just want a friend…”

‘Run… Run…’ He thought, then his pesky hearts got in the way, ‘She’s just like me…I’m already dead anyway.’

He turned around and saw her lower half in the water. The fabric moving with the waves and pale legs firmly planted in the sand. He closed his eyes and slowly rose above the water. Her eyes shined and looked over him not in fear and disgust, but amazement and wonder.

“H-hi…” She said and smiled at him. She smiled at him. Then held out her hand, “I’m Grace…Grace Trein, what’s your name?”

She looked so soft and squishy. He reached out his hand tentatively, but his nerves got the best of him and backed away. She could see his hesitation and lifted both of her hands palms out, “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise, see.” She wiggled her fingers and smiled. He was still nervous and didn’t move towards her but did speak up.

“a-azul” he said in a quiet voice.

“Azul? That’s a pretty name!” He could feel her eyes studying him and prepared himself for the hurtful comments on his weight. But she instead pointed to something in the water, “Is that a Sexton!”

He looked down and saw he still had the weird contraption that got him in this mess. He lifted it and repeated the name, “Sex-ton?”

“Yeah! Sailors use it to navigate!” She stepped closer and he moved back. She noticed this and stepped back as well, “May I see it?” She stretched her hand out palm up. He saw a silver bracelet on her arm that caught his eye. She saw this and took it off, “Wanna trade for a bit? I promise i’ll give it back!”

Curiosity won and two black tentacles moved towards her hand, and one held the sexton. He quickly took the silver bracelet and dropped the sexton into her hand before she could comment. He took the bracelet from his tentacle and examined the silver base and blue jewels embedded in it.

“Wow! You’re an Oct-mer!” She said, “That is so cool!”

He was not prepared for the comment and a blue blush crept onto his face. He was shocked to say the least, “Cecelia…”

“huh?” Grace tilted her head and repeated the word, “Cecelia… is that the proper name?”

Azul nodded and kept his head down. “Yeah…”

“Cecelia… That is really pretty, I like it!” Her face glowed as she spoke, all happy and joyful. It was completely different from the face she had when he arrived. She looked at the sexton and moved it around in her hands, then lifted it up and looked through it. The curiosity in her eyes made Azul want to ask her questions like ‘where is she from? Why was she in the cave? How did she find it? Why are you being nice to me? What do you want from me? Are you just being nice to my face or to lure me into a trap?’ but he kept his mouth shut and went back to examining the bracelet. It was very beautiful and simple in design, but even more interesting was the writing on the underside of the bracelet: Grace – Our precious pearl Love Mama and Papa. He ran his hand along the writing and felt the indents swirl with the letters.

Grace broke his concentration, “I was just reading about this!” He looked up and saw her walk to the shore with his trinket.

“h-hey! That’s m-mine!” He swam forward a bit as he feared she would run off with the sexton!

Grace quickly turned around and subdued his nerves “I won’t take it, I’m just grabbing my book!” She took out a green book from her basket and sat on the shore, “come here! I wanna show you something!”

“u-um…” Azul bit his lower lip before gathering his courage. This was going against every bone in his body, but he swam to the shore, “Ok.” The dry sand felt weird on his skin, but he made it over and peered at the book.

On the page was a four-legged creature with wings, the same creature that was on the sexton. “It’s called a Pegasus! They are magical creatures from when the great seven lived.” She said and tilted the book as if telling him to take it. He took it gingerly and felt his hand brush against hers as it transferred. His curiosity took over and he started to read the passage next to the picture. “According to the book, The Hero Hercules had a Pegasus who helped him on his adventures. I was reading about it for lessons today!” She was really close to him, and he could feel her clothes brush against his skin as she held up the Saxton. “Papa says that the Gods rearranged the stars so Hercules and his Pegasus’ could watch over humanity for the rest of time.”

“Stars?” Azul asked and turned his head to look at her, only then realizing that their heads were so close. Their noses almost touched, and she looked into his eyes directly.

“Yeah! The bright dots in the sky at night!” She says and points out to the opening of the cave, then her expression changed to one of confusion and realization, “You have never seen the stars. Have you?”

Azul shook his head and held his breath. ‘She is so close to me. Why is she so close to me. Whyisshesocloseto-’

GRRRRR.

Azul’s train of thought were interrupted by his stomach. His round belly grumbled so loudly that it echoed in the cave and Azul felt his heart sank. He froze in embarrassment. He was making progress with the girl and his stomach is going to ruin every-

“Are you hungry? I have sandwiches!” Grace turned to her basket and pulled out the cloth wrapped thing. She removed the cloth and handed him a dry sandwich. It looked like the sandwiches his mom sold at her restaurant, but instead of kelp it had a sponge, beige looking holding the contents together. He looked at her in surprise and pointed to himself.

“Y-you’re giving it to me?” He said surprised.

“Well yeah,” She took out half of the sandwich, “I have other snacks to if you don’t like sandwiches, Mrs. Hellen aways packs extra so I have chips, apples, juice, and some cookies!” She held out more food and he just looked at her in shock.

“You’re not going to make fun of me?” He asks quietly. This question made her smile fall and eyebrows knit together.

“Why would I do that?” She said, she shoulders slumped a bit and she looked down, “Being made fun of hurts more than being pushed downstairs, I don’t wanna do that to anyone.”

The glint came back. The watery gaze, strained voice, tense body, the pain… it is all too familiar to Azul. “People do that to you too?” Azul asked.

“Worse, brothers.” Grace said, “Anthony and Danny always make fun of me. They say I talk too much, or ask too many questions, or am too ugly to be a girl, or make fun of me for not having magic, or worse…” Tears started to form in her eyes. She hugged herself with the food still in her hand, “Ever since we moved here, its gotten worse. Mama and Papa use to step in and tell them to stop, but Mama isn’t here anymore, Papa is always working, and the servants don’t do anything… probably because they agree with them. Eli tries to step in, but he is too little to understand.” She then shakes her head and wipes her eyes away with her forearm, “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much, its not proper for a lady to talk so much-”

“Nonono! Me too!” Azul gestures to himself, “I mean- I like hearing you talk! People back home bullied me all the time! They say I talk to much a-and call me a nerd too! B-but they also call me fat and ugly, w-which is true for me but not in your case you're really pretty-but anyway! I get it! Bullies hurt…” Azul fidgeted his fingers and tentacles as he spoke and looked down at the ground, scared to look into her eyes.

There was a tense silence for a moment and Azul thought he blew it with his new potential friend, “…you think I’m pretty?” He looked up and her face was red, she was blushing so hard and looked at him in surprise.

“Y-yeah… you are…” He was really nervous as they were still close.

Grace loosened her grip on herself and the poor sandwiches and a small smile graced her lips, “Well… I think your pretty cute,” She looked up and him and their eyes met yet again. “And, I have never seen a mermaid in real life before, but after talking to you, I think Cecelia are cooler than regular mermaids.” She held out half of the sandwich and her smile changed from small to big in a genuine manner. And a weird thing happened, her smiling made Azul want to smile. The only people who have ever made Azul smile just by them smiling were the tweels. He feels a weird draw towards her, like a string pulling them together. It was a similar tug he felt with the tweels, but something about it was different.

Grace handed Azul half of the sandwich and he took it. But before taking a bite, she raised her half. “Friends?”

Azul felt his hearts beat faster. He was in shock; ‘Sh-she wants to be friends with m-me? Th-this never happens! I have a Friend! A new human friend! That means I have THREE friends!!’ “Friends!”

“Friends?” “FRIENDS!!” Two teal heads suddenly leaped out of the water.

In the shallows of the cave water were Jade and Floyd in matching sharp tooth grins.

Azul felt panic rise in his chest as the two swam closer and crawl onto the sand. Grace jumped with half a sandwich hanging out of her mouth. “moareyou?” She said with her mouth full.

Azul’s arms and tentacles were moving frantically, “nononono, please don’t freak out, they are my friends,” Grace took the sandwich out of her mouth and relaxed her shoulders a bit. “T-this is Jade and Floyd, they a-are my friends, and I guess your friends now too since you’re my friend, i-if that’s how this thing works right?” As he spoke his tentacles moved to exclaim his point.

Grace looked back and forth between Azul and the twin’s and her apprehension turned to a smile, “I-I have three friends, I HAVE THREE FRIENDS!” She was as excited as Floyd was. Her hair and bow bounced as she jumped. Her eyes sparkled and she tackled Azul in a hug. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU’RE THE BEST!!!!”

Azul stood there stunned. Her arms around him and she was thanking him for friends. She moved on to hug the twins, but all Azul could think about was her arms around him and her eyes glowing in excitement.

“YAY!” Grace tackle-hugged Floyd and the two fell in the water. Jade chuckled at the sight and beached himself on the shore.

“Seems like you helped yourself Azul,” Jade commented and plucked some of the treats out of Grace’s basket, “You even found food.”

“Seems so,” Azul replied as Grace and Floyd got out of the water.

Grace squeezed the water out of her dress and hair, Azul couldn’t take his eyes off her and it made Jade’s smile grow sharp, “A human girl… interesting,” He hummed.

Azul turned to Jade and quirked his brow, “What do you mean by that?”

Jade shook his head as Grace came over to hug him, “Nothing, just interesting.”

Azul would not understand what Jade noted until years later. On that summer’s day, Azul’s life changed. He found an abandoned grotto he now called home, he started to seriously study magic alongside the tweels using the books and artifacts now at their disposal, and met Grace Trein, a girl who would help him conquer both land and sea.

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Tag List: @twistedcece @thisisafish123

Note: Please Like, Reblog, and Follow for more! If you are interested in seeing more characters in this scenario or these characters in different scenarios, please let me know! (Do not Steal)

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carminecarnivale · 5 months

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Literally no one is talking about this (that I’ve seen anyway) and the episode is old now but I can’t stop thinking about it so I’m making a post anyway.

This is about the scene in Helluva Boss season 2 episode 7 “Mammon’s Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special” where a young imp and Fizzarolli sign to each other.

TLDR: The signing is wonky and the scene feels unearned.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT DEAF AND NOT AN ASL EXPERT. THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION OF THIS SCENE. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR DEAF OR HOH PEOPLES’ OPINIONS.

Right. So, surface level, what do the writers *want* to have the signing mean? What is their desired English sentiment?

Kid: Fizzarolli! I’m a big fan!

Fizz: Come on over here

Kid: I want to be a clown just like you!

Fizz: You can do anything you want to do.

Cool, great. Now, what did they actually sign? DISCLAIMER 2: THERE IS NO WRITTEN FORM OF ASL, ASL CAN BE SORT OF TRANSCRIBED IN ENGLISH BUT IT IS NOT WRITTEN ASL.

Kid: F-CLOWN (name sign, “Fizzarolli”) I BIG FAN.

Fizz: [Gesture to come over]

Kid: CLOWN SAME-AS-YOU.

Fizz: IF/SUPPOSE WANT, CAN-aff WORK.

On the most basic level, this is fine. It more-or-less represents what the writers wanted to be said. But it’s just…not great. It’s so simple compared to what the writers wanted to say. It makes the translation put up on screen look wrong.

The kid makes no indication that they “want” to be a clown, they could very well have been meaning that they currently ARE a clown, maybe even in training. There was no indication of “becoming” or a future signifier. There was a general lack of pronouns making it sound vague. The final sentiment from Fizz is much more grounded than what the writers wanted him to say. “You can do anything!” vs “you could work as a clown if you wanted to.” The difference speaks for itself.

There ARE signs for the sentiment they want to convey!!! They exist!!! LOOK: https://youtu.be/JbfWzc0-R6E?si=FxvbC9l-hvArLPg0

youtube

“But wait!” I hear you say. “What if they got the signs first and mistranslated it?”

Since this is an English show for English speakers that must be written in English, no. They wrote the translation first and put mediocre signing in the episode.

Could the sentiment have been gutted for time/animation constraints? Quite possibly! But we’ve seen the kinds of shots the Helluva team can pull off (Striker’s 3/4 turn with the pistol, DHORKs full camera action spin, to name a few) so I don’t doubt they COULD have animated the signing appropriately if they wanted to.

Now, they did have an ASL consultant for this episode (the bare minimum we love to see it, AND on the very last page of credits? wow), his name is Salvador Baltazar. There’s not much out there on him, but he’s primarily an interpreter. There is no way to know what he helped with or how much he dictated the scene and I don’t plan on wildly speculating. It’s great that he’s there, why did he let this signing air the way it did though.

Finally, what’s the purpose of this scene? Why is it here? Why these characters in this situation?

More competent analysts than I have picked apart the woobification of Helluva characters and how, once they’re not a villain anymore, their characterization and morals get completely overhauled to appeal to the “oh he’s so traumatized!” crowd.

I think this scene is a part of that. And it got its desired reaction.

Seeing celebrities interact well with children is already something that would net a character some popularity brownie points. If that child is clearly an “other” and the celebrity does something special to recognize that child? Brownie fucking bakeries.

The purpose of this scene is to show that not all of Fizz’s fans suck, yes, but also to show how kind and nice and thoughtful Fizz is just to hammer home how TragicTM his situation is.

And the fans went wild!!!! Here is a character putting in effort to learn ASL and speak with child fans! Wow he’s so great! He’s so amazing! What Herculean tasks he’s taken upon himself to be so cool! Wow! (Not everyone says it like that, but that was the general vibe of the Helluva tag following the episode’s release).

It got fans speculating; “I wonder if this ties into his Tragic BackstoryTM!” We’ll probably never know because Fizz’s fluency in ASL, his role in the Deaf community, is not something the writers care about exploring. They didn’t include a scene with ASL because they wanted to have a deaf character, they included it to make Fizz look good.

Something a lot of people have brought up about this kid—and rightfully so—is their age. What’s this 9 year old doing at the blow-out clown sex appeal concert? How did they get into the VIP section? Couldn’t you contrast the possessive critic guy with another adult who isn’t gross? Wouldn’t it make more sense if this character was an ADULT at the ADULT SHOW?

Yes! Yes it would! But would an adult signer garner half as many pity points as a young child with stars in their eyes? No. I doubt it would.

This scene is not here to show respect for deaf people. Just like the show doesn’t respect deaf people. I ask you to check out the captions for season 2 episode 6. Go on.

Because you know what you’ll find?

A bunch of loud, keysmashing inanity, that ignores describing what’s being said in favour of making queef jokes. These are not functional captions. For a show that prides itself on being just as professional as what you can find aired on TV or streaming, this is laughably bad. This is YouTube 2013 gaming jump scare compilations bad. And those captions are Still There DESPITE people pointing out that they’re not functional.

From a studio that’s fine with sabotaging their own captions I really shouldn’t be surprised with their treatment of ASL as sloppy, basic, and only really there for pandering.

Jesus Christ, do better.

#helluva boss #helluva boss fizzarolli #helluva boss season 2 #helluva boss season two episode seven #mammons magnificent musical mid season special #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism

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crplpunkklavier · 1 year

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thoughts on vongole, and kristoph as a dog owner

DISCLAIMER: i am not a professional in dog care nor training. i have had and trained a dog for many years now, but he is not a retriever. i've studied up on other breeds out of curiosity (and due diligence tbh). if anything i say here is factually wrong and you know more, feel free to reach out!

Kristoph: Ah, yes, she's surprisingly delicate, you know. Requires careful tending. But, she is my "best friend", as they say. Phoenix: "Best"...? Come on, now I'm starting to feel bad for you. Kristoph: Oh? Of course, she's known to bite if handled roughly. Phoenix: Y-Your rose bites? Kristoph: ...... I was speaking of the photo next to the rose. My retriever, Vongole. Cute, but feisty.

this is all we ever learn about vongole. am i going crazy about it? maybe. (also, after this line, phoenix thinks to himself, "every dog has its thorn..." as if that means literally anything. i love him so)

vongole is one of my favorite mysteries about kristoph. she is not at all relevant in aa4, and if she was only ever going to be in this tiny bit of flavor text (so easily missable too!) why put her in at all? was she going to play a bigger role in a later game that shu takumi never got to bless us with? i guess it's possible. that would lift vongole on the same level as those pesky black psyche locks. but either way, we have her here, and that means i get to overanalyze her :)

or more accurately, i get to overanalyze kristoph gavin on the basis that he has a dog who

is a retriever

is "surprisingly delicate"

requires careful tending

is his best friend, as they say

bites if handled roughly

hey. what the fuck does any of that mean, kris?

lets start with the breed. i've mentioned in a post before that many of us seem to have collectively decided that vongole is a golden retriever, which seems fitting, since those are famous blondes, just like the other gavins. however, "retriever" doesn't automatically mean golden retriever! there are a few other retriever breeds. you're probably familiar with labrador retrievers, for instance. i have a curly-coated retriever in my neighborhood who, you guessed it, has a charming curly coat, pitch black, and is a trained service dog!

we often see retrievers as service dogs, because they're pretty fit for the job. the name retriever comes from hunting though. while my own dog is more engaged in actually running ahead and killing prey himself (no i don't let him do that.), retrievers have been bred to go and, well, retrieve prey for the hunters. this of course means that you can also teach them to retrieve other stuff for you fairly easily. like meds, socks, blankets -- stuff a service dog would be helpful for.

apart from that, retrievers are also known to be good family dogs, because they're friendly, affectionate, loyal, and quick to trust. they're also very active, and pretty smart! there are minor differences between the various retriever breeds, but this much goes for all of them to some extent.

why in the world does kristoph have a dog?

i... just..... does he seem like a dog person to you?? i just.... i mean, he doesn't seem like a cat person to me either. or a plant person. maybe he doesn't seem like a person to me. i just really stumble over this sometimes, because it seems wild to me to think that kristoph gavin got himself a retriever just because he.... wanted a retriever?

the guy works what's pretty much an office job. his salary shouldn't be very high, as a defense attorney? but, well, he's implied to like high-profile cases, and he had the money to employ an assistant, so i don't think he's poor. he needs time and space for a retriever, though. vongole isn't a little shih tzu who's happy to just hang out on your lap all day. again, REALLY active. this is a dog who wants AT LEAST an hour of outside time a day. kristoph gavin doesn't even look like he's ever seen the sun. but ok.

one frankly hilarious route i've considered is that he wanted a dog for protection. klavier says he's been "living in fear" ever since zak gramarye disappeared on him, and then he panicked enough to straight up beat him to death the minute he saw him again seven years later. he's paranoid, he's spying on everyone involved. i think kristoph really was very scared. so maybe at some point he figured he'd get himself a dog that would protect him from assailants.

i say this is hilarious because..... a retriever is not the dog you want, man. like, yeah, she'll be loyal to you if she likes you. the problem is she is also really quick to like you, or the intruder in your house, or the guy coming to your office to kill you. if kris got a retriever because he wanted a guard dog, that was a fantastic bit of stupidity, and i personally love it for him.

another angle i like, one that makes him a little less stupid and a little more horrifying, is appearances.

But, she is my "best friend", as they say.

this line really does something to my brain. kristoph gavin talks like a law text book at the best of times, so the somewhat awkward wording of it isn't really what's bothering me. it's the fact that he said it at all. it's that very last part. the "as they say." because, yeah, sure, people say that. yeah yeah, man's best friend, we've all seen it.

and it just... seems so very kristoph to latch onto a truism about human beings, to make himself look like one. look at him! he's got a suit, he's got a job. he's totally on speaking terms with his brother. when the bar association voted to disbar phoenix, he was the only one who voted against that (one more thing i'd love to make a big post about one day lol), he has regular dinner with his good friend phoenix wright, he has an assitant, he has a law office. he probably has a car, because it's LA. he has a savings account. that's not, like, canon, but he does. of course he also has a dog. he's just a regular human guy! he likes poetry and the arts. his best friend is a dog, and more than that, a breed which is known for its gentleness, and for how great they are with..... children :)

let's all sit back and let that chill go down our spine for a sec.

kristoph got a retriever to prove something. kristoph got a retriever for the same reason that he made friends with vera misham before he tried to kill her.

remember what his prison cell looks like? with the books, the arm chair, the violin? he keeps up appearances, even after his arrest. of course he'd put up a framed picture of his beloved dog. like any normal human person would.

but did he treat her well?

well...... well.

here's the thing.

i don't think kristoph gavin is an animal abuser. i don't think he treated her badly. but that's a sliding scale, with dogs, and with most pets, isn't it? if i'm never outright mean or violent to my dog, that's great, but if i never give him enrichment, if i never learn to read his body language, if i never give him what he fundamentally needs as a certain animal of a certain breed, i'm still not treating him well. i'm not treating him right, i'm just not overtly torturing him.

back to kristoph. in this vein, i often think about what we hear of his interactions with young vera. one thing that particularly sticks out to me is how drew misham says that kristoph was one of the very few people who ever made her smile.

kristoph clearly has a way with children, to an extent. he knows to get her that stamp -- he actually understands her childish fascination with magic a little too well and gets her a present that she likes so much it thwarts his whole plan. keep in mind that vera was 12 -- when kristoph's younger brother was 12, kristoph was 19 already, old enough to consciously learn things about the 12-year-old in his household. he knows kids, and he gets through to them.

but never fully, does he? klavier figured out something was off about the way his brother came to his office. and even vera, despite smiling at kristoph so earnestly, despite really loving that stamp, despite being only 12, even vera was so horrified by that little twitch of the devil's hand. there was always something uncanny about kristoph.

why am i bringing that up? i'm not saying everyone who's good with children will be good with dogs, or the other way around. but there is common ground. you're dealing with a living thing that's smaller than you, dependent on you, and you're building a relationship that'll take a lot of calmness, understanding, and reassurance. kids often can't express themselves in ways adults would immediately understand, and neither can dogs.

and i think kristoph got about as far with vongole as he did with vera. i think vongole liked him fine. again, retrievers are quick to like people. he was there, he fed her, he probably gave up trying not to let her up on the couch. sure she liked him. but did she listen to him?

before i ever had a dog, my mom used to tell me that she thought the concept of dog training (the german word is Hundeschule, so literally "dog school") was stupid, that she'd had a dog as a kid, and that dog didn't have to know any tricks, it wasn't a circus animal! well, my mom was also bad with every pet we've ever had, and with all three of her kids. so.

look, it's important that your dog listens to you. i'm just saying. no, it doesn't have to know "circus tricks," although depending on the breed, it might have fun learning them! and it definitely just. it needs the basics. your dog needs to understand what "no" means, and your dog should come when called -- i know we're all tired of alpha terminology and it's constantly used wrong, but, genuinely, your dog needs to know that you're the leader of the pack. your dog needs that, it's good for the dog. turns out i was also using it wrong! this reblog explains what i meant to say better than i could. my point was that you have got to give your dog something, some form of structure. for the dog's own cognitive development, for you to work as a union, and last but not least to make sure you don't bring harm to the outside world!

and, yeah, this is absolutely the part where i think kristoph failed. because no, i don't think he was ever violent with her or anything, but i also don't think he would ever have the patience it takes for solid dog training.

why else does he, unprompted, bring up that she is "surprisingly" delicate, and requires "careful" tending? kris, did you not know? why are you surprised by how delicate a literal living thing is? did you accidentally step on her paw and she acted like it's the end of the world? yeah, they do that. did you come home late from the office one night and there was a pile of poop on your overturned laundry basket? hmm. if only something could be done about that.

the "bite if handled roughly" part is the last one i wanna talk about, because that also gave me a lot of trouble.

i mean... dogs bite. they do! mine bites. especially puppies are happy to play-bite, often into hands, and it's important to get that under control while they're young. this also loops us all the way back around to vongole being a retriever. remember, they're bred to carry stuff in their mouths. it is in this dog's dna to use her mouth for stuff.

this means she might be bite-happy in a very specific way. i've actually read multiple times that retriever bites are "soft", because again, they're just supposed to retrieve game when hunting, not kill it themselves. it's already dead, and a dog actually biting into it would make it yucky for humans to eat. retrievers are good at moderating bite strength for that.

but.... it doesn't sound like that's what kristoph is talking about, is it? she's known to bite if handled roughly. that sounds like she really bites. and of course she does. if handled roughly. hey, what the fuck does that mean, handled roughly? who's handling her roughly?

again, this doesn't necessarily scream animal abuse. as @mlmschemes, out of professional experience, has brought up, there are certain things that need to be done during a vet visit that dogs don't always love, especially if they aren't used to it, like nail trims, to state the easiest one. you might have to hold a dog down for that. and if that dog is trained and socialized like ass, yeah, she'll bite if handled roughly.

but, hey, don't worry. she's just feisty. :) cute but feisty, he says.

just like every fucking dog owner i've ever met in the neighborhood who has a half-rabid untrained menace that would probably tear my face from my skull if not for its stupid retractable leash.

anyway.

kristoph wants to be a dog owner because it's a fun normal human thing to do and makes him look non-threatening, well-adjusted, and generally likeable. but he sucks at dog training. nobody has ever fully believed the guy--fucking, even apollo IMMEDIATELY deserts him in court. kristoph lives a superficial life and vongole probably has zero trouble becoming the best friend of whoever gets her next.

just to bring this already embarrassingly long post to a point and an end, here's some quick tips from me for portraying vongole, and by extension kristoph dealing with her:

retrievers are affectionate, so vongole is probably a cuddler

kristoph probably has fur fucking everywhere. he comes into the office with a briefcase thats just filled with lint rollers

vongole knows exactly zero commands. if you have food in your hand, she will sit down, because sometimes that gets her things, and she will try to use it at every possible opportunity

if sitting down doesn't work, she will become more and more annoying. if my dog felt like i wasn't giving him enough attention, he used to walk up to my desk and nudge my forearm with his nose so strongly that my grip on my computer mouse would slip and i would fuck up whatever i was working on.

kristoph loses patience with her. it'd be interesting to write, because he'd want to save face if it happens in public, too. he can't yell at his dog there, that'd look bad. i imagine a lot of insistent leash tugging, a lot of ill-advised grabbing/holding her (here's where he probably gets bitten too), and a lot of smiling and laughing and being like "ohh, haha, she's just so feisty today, what's going on ooo she's so nice normally haha"

i doubt he played much with her? she probably had toys, but for kristoph to interact with them a lot.... you can play fetch with retrievers pretty well, because, once again, they're retrievers. and that's a pretty classic "look at me i'm a normal dog owner" thing to do, so he probably has some like, tennis balls and stuff that he'd throw for her. but that's probably it.

if you write vongole changing owners to klavier and/or apollo, please please please let her do a full 180. if you're going by what i've theorized here vis à vis kristoph, that dog is DESPERATE to learn. dogs want jobs and she would be SOOO happy to be trained.

forget that thing about old dogs and new tricks. my dog is 8 years old and i'm currently teaching him a new command, for funsies. it's working and he loves it. you can write vongole becoming a model citizen at any age. i implore you to.

#😳#imco #im not copying this into openoffice to check the word count. its so much #i got carried away lol #ace attorney #kristoph gavin #vongole #ash i hope it was ok to @ you!! lmk if not then ill remove the url

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lunar-wandering · 1 year

Text

Stim

Summary: Wukong has been told, for over 2,000 years, that “repetitive motions” are annoying and bad. Today he’s going to learn that’s wrong.

TW: Wukong has some internalized ableism thoughts in this, I didn’t get really into it that much to the point where I think it’s really bad but I’m putting a TW anyways. Oh, also there’s a tiny bit of self harm via him biting his cheek.

Word Count: 4.9k

Read on Ao3

MK was excited.

Wukong could tell, based on the overpowering smile and energetic…well, energy coming off of his successor. The kid had shown up for training and, instead of asking what they would be learning that day, had almost instantly started rambling. Something about a new game? Wukong wasn’t entirely sure. MK spoke so fast and there were a lot of younger monkeys running around at the start of MK’s explanation, so Wukong hadn’t managed to fully… get what MK was saying, and he didn’t want to interrupt by asking the kid now, since it had already been a good few minutes of the kid rambling off. He thinks he’s starting to get the gist of it, the new game seemingly having a character inspired by himself and-

Realization dawns on him, and Wukong interrupts his successor, stating the name of the game as well as the fact he needed to approve the script for it. MK freezes, and for a brief moment Wukong worries he got something wrong, that now wasn’t a good time in the conversation to interrupt with this fact. Maybe he should have waited until he was sure MK was entirely finished?

MK surprises him by jumping back into excitement mode at full speed, shifting gears from just talking about the game to asking if Wukong can give him any early access spoilers in zero seconds flat.

“C’mon, please? At the very least, just one hint.” He gets down on his knees to emphasize just how badly he wants to know, and Wukong barely keeps himself from rolling his eyes at the overdramatics, forcing back the memories of a certain… ex-friend of his doing something similar. (He’d been dragged to so many plays way back when).

“Well…. I guess I can tell you one thing.” Wukong chuckles, giving in, and kneeling down to whisper a small spoiler into MK’s ear that, based on the kid’s rambles, he just knew would drive MK wild.

And it seems he was right, as MK practically jumps up, and Wukong smiles at his successor’s excitement-

Only for that smile to drop as MK starts jumping up and down repeatedly, flapping his arms and shaking his hands as though trying to shake the energy out of himself.

Wukong quickly fixes his expression to a neutral smile before MK can notice. Not that it would matter really, the kid was so focused in on moving around that he wasn’t even looking at his mentor. But, as he watches MK continue to do his thing, he has to wonder.

Did… Did he pick that up from him?

He couldn’t have, right? Wukong had completely managed to get rid of his “destructive and annoying habits” by the time the journey had ended.

So why was MK doing the exact same thing he used to do? He was so certain he’d stopped doing… any of that altogether. Had he slipped up and fell back into it at some point? The kid surely would’ve commented on it if he had, right? Oh no- how long had the kid been doing this for?

That thought struck a chord of pure fear in Wukong’s mind. How long had MK been doing this for?? Had his friends and family noticed?

It occurred to Wukong that he should take MK back to the city and, at the very least, apologize to Pigsy for accidentally passing down his old habits onto MK… somehow. He still wasn’t sure how MK had picked this habit of his up.

…Would it hurt that much to ask?

“Hey- uh, Kid, how did you-” Wukong started, then blinked, realizing that all that stood before him were the monkeys and a small indent in the ground. For a beat, he just stared at the indent in general confusion, briefly glancing up at the sky in a split second of wondering if something had fallen to the ground and he hadn’t noticed, before the dots finally connected in his brain and he shook his head, glancing off in the direction of the mainland, activating his golden vision to see MK vaulting his way over the ocean back towards the city’s shoreline. The kid had probably told him goodbye and he hadn’t even noticed it from how deep in thought he was. He hoped that MK wasn’t too upset that he didn’t answer.

…Albeit, considering the kid had outright left instead of staying for training, it finally clicked that something must’ve happened in the city.

Still swallowed by his earlier concern about MK’s new habits, Wukong turned himself into a bird and followed behind his apprentice.

Thankfully, it ended up just being Jin and Yin wrecking a little havoc again, a situation MK easily dealt with.

Unfortunately though, this meant that MK returned to Pigsy’s noodles with the exact same amount of energy coursing through him as he had before the fight.

Wukong winced as he watched the kid’s friends converge on him outside of the Noodle Shop- as far as he could tell, it was the usual checkup to make sure that MK hadn’t been injured (like he even could be, albeit, he supposed it was a fair concern, he wasn’t sure if any of them had noticed that he’d been slowly peeling back the magic seal to let MK be invulnerable again. It wasn’t at full strength yet like it was before, but it was starting to get there. …Actually, had he told MK he was doing that? He couldn’t remember. Huh. Maybe he should bring that up at their next training session- oh shit he was getting distracted again-), but the injury checkup wasn’t really what had Wukong concerned.

No, what made him outright cringe from his perch on the edge of a nearby building, was when MK began rambling about the game once more…and started doing the motions again.

He got himself ready to hop down there, to apologize, promise he’d fix it, like how he’d been fixed, and very nearly did when he saw Mei start copying MK’s gestures, assuming that she was making fun of him-

But paused, as their expressions finally registered in his mind, and it hit him like a truck that the dragon girl wasn’t making fun of MK.

She was joining in.

Wukong could feel his bird transformation drop, changing him back to his normal monkey form out of shock, and he quickly dove down behind the roof’s ledge before anyone could look up and see him. For a moment, he just sat there, staring at nothing, panic starting to grip at him. Had he somehow managed to influence not one, but two kids? Did he need to do double the apologies??

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed hold of the edge of the roof, lifting himself up slightly to peek over again, just to make sure, and only just barely stopped himself from letting out a noise as he saw what was happening below.

Which was…nothing.

Or well, it was something, MK and Mei still doing the gestures happily, talking back and forth, but-

The others… didn’t look mad?

It was like-

They all seemed to be acting like this was normal.

It took a moment, for that to sink in.

This was considered normal.

And now that he was really thinking about it, no-one passing by on the street were giving the Monkie Kid or the Dragon Girl a second glance either. If he had been doing the motions as publicly as MK and Mei were doing them, he would’ve certainly been receiving dirty glares by now.

But for some reason, that… simply wasn’t happening.

…Wukong wasn’t an idiot. He knew he had been isolated, and hadn’t interacted with the mortal world for some time. But- was it really-

Was it really true? Not some sort of prank?? This kind of thing was just… accepted now?

Wukong grabbed hold of his tail to keep it from swishing back and forth, taking a deep breath as anxiety pooled in his chest.

If this was normal now, it was arguably a good thing he hadn’t voiced any of his thoughts in front of MK. What if he had hurt the kid’s feelings? He could’ve. He almost did.

Wukong let go of his tail in favour of covering his face with hands, and slowly dragging his hands down his face, proceeding to resist the sudden urge to repeat the action. Standing up, he briefly glanced down again, just in time to see the small group happily entering the Noodle Shop, and he just as quickly looked away, not bothering with either his cloud nor his transformations as he simply teleported back to his house on the mountain.

Collapsing face first onto the couch, he rolled to the side, staring at his laptop, wondering if maybe he should use the internet to look into the motions MK and Mei had been doing.

He tossed the notion away as soon as he thought about it. Confirmation that it seemed to be a normal occurrence now aside- Wukong genuinely felt… almost afraid to find out what the motions meant. What he had missed.

…How the people he’d trusted might’ve been wrong.

Wukong turned back over so that he was on his stomach, his head face down into the couch cushions. His hand briefly skimmed the surface of the side of the couch, and he practically bit his tongue resisting the urge to do that again-

…Except it didn’t really matter, did it?

He paused.

The repetitive actions of Mei and MK, out on full view in the middle of the street, were deemed acceptable by modern society. Plus, there was no-one in here with him at the current moment, right? Nobody to get annoyed by his repetitive motions. He could do whatever he wanted. Without consequences.

Without consequences.

Tentatively, Wukong let his hand brush over the side of the couch again. And again. And- again. Speeding up slightly, to get m o r e of the sensation, before slowing down once his hand got tired, going back up in speed once his hand no longer felt like it was going to fall off.

Something about the- the texture, the repeated action of brushing up against it felt- almost soothing? Relaxing. Wukong could feel his muscles untense as he got lost in the sensation.

So lost, in fact, that he barely even noticed the time passing, until MK’s voice calling his name made him startle hard enough to fall off the couch.

Almost instantly the sound of running feet approaching him reached his ears, and he barely managed to pull himself off the ground and into a standing position before MK was stumbling into the living room, barely managing to stop himself from crashing into a wall due to the speed he had built up.

“Ah- hey bud!” Wukong lifted the hand he hadn’t been using to give MK a lil wave. His other hand still felt… tingly, almost incriminating, and he hid it behind his back, hoping the kid wouldn’t notice anything off. “Back to finally do some training today?”

MK, for his part, looked somewhat guilty.

“Sorry- were you napping? I didn’t mean to wake you up.” MK shifted nervously back and forth, rocking on his feet.

Wukong subconsciously found himself mimicking the rocking motion, before he just as quickly stopped himself, glancing off to the side. He’d found himself slipping into rocking motions around the kid before, and stopped them without pause, but now that he was thinking more about it, he felt almost… self-conscious? Maybe. That kind of seemed like the best word for it. Ashamed was another one, but he didn’t want to think about it like that too much…

Shaking those thoughts out of his mind, ignoring MK’s confused and concerned expression, he decided to focus in on the kid’s question.

“Napping? Uh-” He was about to deny it, before thinking better of it. Napping certainly was a better excuse as to why he had spent so much time on the couch to the point that it probably had left a decent mark on his face that the kid had picked up on, a far better excuse than what he had actually been doing. “Yeah, I uh, woke up pretty early this morning to deal with some… issue or other that the lil monkey’s had. I was just catching up on the extra sleep before you came back!!”

It seemed like a decent excuse. It was a perfectly reasonable scenario, in Wukong’s opinion.

But for some reason, MK still looked at him with doubt. Wukong, for some reason feeling like the kid could see right through him, glanced off to the side again, hoping he wasn’t being as obvious as he felt he was, the nervous energy growing in his chest and slowly extending it’s reaching fingers into his limbs.

“Are you o-” MK started, and Wukong instinctively reached back to grab hold of his tail as soon as it started swishing. There was barely a pause as MK quickly, and suddenly, switched gears. “Okay, I’ve been ignoring this for like, a while but why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” Had he done something wrong?

“Grabbing hold of your tail whenever it starts swishing like that.” MK clarified, and Wukong winced, letting go of his tail immediately- swapping out the action instead for doing his best to remain perfectly still, almost biting the inside of his cheek as unease and a sense of just… generally being uncomfortable took hold of his body. MK’s eyes narrowed. “You’re hiding something. Again.”

“What?! No. I uh- I… only just woke up?” Okay, even Wukong knew that was a lousy excuse, wincing even as he said it, feeling a nervous smile starting to form on his face, actually drawing a small amount of blood from how hard he was biting his cheek in an attempt to prevent the nervous smirk he knew would appear from growing.

MK didn’t even bother to dignify him with a response, instead simply raising an eyebrow, just… staring. It took everything in Wukong’s power to not shift his feet nervously. He just knew the kid had picked up that look from Pigsy, somehow. It had just as much power on MK as it did on the respected pig demon. As in; a lot of power.

He only barely managed to hold out for half a minute before he caved in.

“I just-” Wukong started, then paused, thinking. How was he even going to explain this? Where should he even begin? From the point he first saw MK doing the motions? But that would require explaining his thoughts and- what if the kid got hurt by it? Wukong still wasn’t sure on the- specifics and everything, but it was obvious that it was considered a normal thing, and if he revealed he had thought it was bad, well- that’d- that’d definitely hurt the kid, right? Wukong didn’t want that. So how should he start then?

MK was still rocking back and forth on his feet, awaiting Wukong’s explanation. He had to say something. But where would he even begin???

“I… I followed you back into the city during the attack today.” He chose to begin there, hesitantly. “Um, and I stuck around for a little bit after Jin and Yin ran off- oh! You do know that I’ve been slowly making the seal less powerful right, your invulnerability is slowly returning to you, the others don’t need to be as worried about possible injuries as they are-”

“I kinda figured that out on my own, Monkey King.” MK said, calmly, almost gently in a way that made Wukong want to flinch. “It’s kinda hard to not notice when I don’t take any damage from a 3 story fall other than a small bruise on my elbow. But that’s not what you wanted to tell me, is it?”

No. It’s not. But in fact, he’d rather not tell MK about any of this at all.

But he’d been trying to communicate better with MK and the other’s lately. It had been insisted upon near a hundred times that in order for trust to be achieved they had to actually talk to each other, and tell the others when something important was happening-

Or when they needed help.

Wukong let out a breath.

“Okay. Okay okay. So- followed you back to the city. Not a lie.” He clarified, “But it- wasn’t because of the attack. It’s- I was worried.”

“Worried about what?” MK stood a little straighter, his rocking stopping as he gave Wukong his full attention. “Did something happen?”

“No- well- not anything- important, it’s- I.” Wukong ran his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face as he tried to figure out how best to phrase what he was going to say without offending the kid. “When… When I was younger. I used to do these… motions. And- I was. Taught? Told. I was told that these motions were… not good.”

MK slowly nodded, seemingly following, but still confused as to how this related back to the situation at hand. Wukong sighed.

“And, this morning, I saw you doing those same motions, and-”

“Oh.”

“-and I got worried that you picked that up from me-”

“Oh.”

“-So I followed you to the city, and I saw Mei join in with you, and I thought she was making fun of you, but she wasn’t-”

“Monkey King-”

“-and the others didn’t seem to mind, and everyone was acting like it was normal, and- I know that I’ve been gone from society for a long time, which means it probably is normal now, and I was just being stupid for worrying about it-”

“Sun Wukong.”

Wukong froze, looking up, not having realized until that moment that he had started curling into himself. MK very rarely used Wukong’s name, usually reserving it for moments of utmost importance. (And the occasional call out, but those were also, in fact, usually important. The only time it wasn’t from what Wukong could recall was when the kid had called him out on his stagefright, but that was more of a statement of all his titles, really, so he didn’t count it).

MK looked deadly serious.

“Monkey King, do you not know what stimming is?”

“...Swimming?”

“No, stimming.”

“I…no?”

MK inhaled sharply.

“But- you’re- you so obviously-” He stumbled over his own words for a moment, before pausing, marching forwards and grabbing hold of Wukong’s hands. “Have you been resisting doing the- motions?”

“...Yes?”

“How?”

The word was spoken with a sense of urgency, and Wukong immediately had the sense that his answer wasn’t going to make MK happy.

After a few moments of silence, MK’s grip on Wukong’s hands tightened.

“How, Monkey King.”

Wukong allowed himself just a few seconds more of hesitation, of delaying the inevitable.

“...Biting my cheek, sometimes.” He muttered, “Most often that’s it- or some other form of mild pain, ‘s usually enough to make the feeling go away. Biting my cheek is just the one people are less likely to notice. …Let me tell you though, blood tastes awful, I have no idea how vampires put up with it-”

“I’m taking you to see Mr. Tang.”

“You- what?” Wukong didn’t even get an instant to process, as the next thing he knew, MK was using his grip on Wukong’s hands to drag him out of the house. “MK-”

“We’re going to go see Tang, and that’s final.” MK summoned the staff, glancing back at Wukong. “Are you going to cooperate and come on your own free will, or am I gonna have to drag you to the Noodle Shop?”

Wukong considered the idea of running away from this situation for just a second too long.

Next thing he knew, MK had shifted his weight, as well as his grip on Wukong’s and was using the staff to vault into the air.

They landed in front of the Noodle Shop with enough force to crack concrete. Wukong stumbled as MK let go of his hand, taking a moment to regain his balance (it had been a while since he vaulted with the staff, sue him), and MK gave him the briefest of moments to recollect himself before he was pushing Wukong into the building.

Thankfully, it seemed like it was currently a slow business hour, as the only other people in the Noodle Shop were Tang, and, of course, Pigsy. MK directed Wukong to a chair.

“Sit.” He said, not really giving the monkey much of a choice as he pushed down on his shoulders, forcing him into the chair. “Stay.”

“I’m not a dog, kid.” Wukong mumbled, but obeyed the request anyways, crossing one leg over the other and looking out the window at the people passing by outside as MK rushed over to whisper… something to Tang. A pair of chopsticks slipped out of Tang’s hand as the man froze in shock, and Wukong’s ear twitched as they clanged against the table. He could make a guess that MK was simply telling Tang what Wukong had told him, and he only barely repressed the shudder going down his spine. It was fine. This was fine. It was bound to happen anyways after telling MK, that was the point of this, being open about these things meant being open with all of them.

A bowl of sliced peaches slid it’s way in front of him, and Wukong wished he could say he didn’t jump at it’s appearance. Pigsy didn’t say anything, instead simply nudging the bowl slightly closer to him again, before turning back around and refocusing on cleaning some dishes left over from the lunch hour. Wukong stared at the bowl with a blank mind for a few seconds, before he slowly took a piece and started nibbling on it.

MK and Tang were still talking.

…Wukong could just leave, right now.

There was nothing keeping him here, no magic spell. He could just go back to the mountain, avoid the other’s questions, and maybe, in a week, they’d all forget about it.

…But these peaches were really good. (He’d have to ask, later, where Pigsy had bought them from). And, well, he knew better. The others would never let something like this just… drop. He knew that from experience. The last time he had tried to hide away, Mei had quite literally broken a hole through the wall of the safehouse he’d been hiding in. He still hadn’t bothered to fix it, instead just using a magic placeholder to make it seem like it’d been fixed. Now that he thought about it, he should probably get around to fixing that up eventually-

A tap on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts, and he very nearly choked on the peach slice he’d been eating. He coughed for a moment, catching his breath, before turning in his seat to find MK and Tang standing behind him. When had they moved? Wukong hadn’t even noticed. This whole thing must’ve been bothering him more than he had thought if it had shot his concentration like this.

“So.” Tang said, “MK tells me you need my help.”

“Wha- psh, help? Please. I don’t need help.” Wukong wasn’t sure why MK thought that he needed help from Tang of all people. He’d already figured out that his thought process had most likely been wrong, and he’d already corrected himself. Simple. Easy. There wasn’t anything else to do.

…Was there?

MK had seemed very concerned by Wukong avoiding doing the motions…

But that was fine, right? He’d already kinda started on that, he had allowed himself that little couch thing, earlier- he didn’t really want to tell MK about that, considering how deeply he had lost himself in it, but maybe if he did MK would realize that he didn’t need any help? Surely they were making a big deal out of nothing, or something.

His tail started swishing back and forth again, and subconsciously Wukong reached out with his hand to stop it, before freezing in the middle of the action. MK had only called him out on this whole thing earlier because he had stopped his tail from swishing. Maybe he should just… let it happen instead?

He let his hand drop back to the side, allowing his tail to continue to swish, hoping that he didn’t look as self-conscious about it as he felt. He was fairly sure he didn’t, but something must’ve been showing on his face, as MK made a sort of ‘Do You See What I’m Talking About’ gesture in his general direction, and Tang made a nod of confirmation. Trying to ignore how kinda-uncomfortable this was making him feel, Wukong turned back around to put another peach slice in his mouth.

There was some rustling behind him, and his ear twitched, but he did his best to ignore it, for a while. Just, giving himself a bit of time to mentally prepare himself.

And then there was a metal clang, and Wukong spun around out of both concern and curiosity-

“Okay, how on Earth did you manage this.” Wukong deadpanned. The other tables and chairs in the Noodle Shop had all been shoved to one side, leaving a large open space, just the perfect size for Tang to have set up a projector screen, as well as the projector itself. A quick glance to the side showed that the Noodle Shop’s sign had been flipped from ‘Open!’ to ‘Closed’. “Literally- I don’t think even 3 minutes passed just now, how did you do this.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve needed to do this.” Tang said, pulling out a laser pointer from… somewhere, about to click it on, before glancing back at Wukong and, seeming to think better of it, tossed the laser pointer over his shoulder (Wukong swore he didn’t hear it hit the ground, where the fuck did it go-), and pulling out a ruler instead (okay, there was no way he had been hiding THAT in a pocket, why did no one else think this was weird?). MK pulled up a chair next to Wukong and sat down beside him. Wukong spared him a glance, and upon seeing how the kid was focused on Tang, turned back to look at what seemed to be his impromptu teacher for the day. The projector flicked on, and Tang lightly tapped his ruler against the screen. “So, first of all, it seems we’re going to need to start from the beginning with what stimming is-”

Wukong sighed as he finally collapsed onto his couch again. Tang’s presentation about stimming had taken just about three hours. Thankfully, MK seemed to be fine with missing one day of training, as Wukong genuinely didn’t think he had the energy left in him to go over fighting techniques, and he especially no longer had the energy to have a half decent spar.

Laying on his back, he stared up at the ceiling, slowly letting the information settle into his brain.

Okay. So. the motions- stimming, stimming wasn’t a bad thing. And, apparently, preventing himself from stimming was bad for him. (The others had been wrong, his friends, his family, they’d been wrong……. Would they have reacted differently, had they known all the information provided in Tang’s powerpoint? …He didn’t want to think about it too much).

Tang had also gone over multiple different kinds of stimming. Some of them Wukong had already known about, he’d used to do them all the time after all, while some were newer to him. (Apparently Macaque’s habit of chewing on his scarf counted as a stim? Wukong had simply assumed he’d done it out of pure habit, or as a replacement for chewing gum).

Letting out another, heavier, sigh, Wukong held his hands up in front of his face, studying them. Slowly sitting up, he started shaking and flapping his hands, mimicking the stimming he’d seen MK and Mei do earlier, memories of doing the same thing in the past appearing in his mind.

It felt…nice. Calming, almost. But it was also tiring, like it took effort to do, not as natural as breathing as he remembered it being, or how MK and Mei had made it look.

Not to mention the looming sense of tingles in a circle around his head.

He stopped, instead moving his hands to gently trace around his head, trying to soothe the feeling, before flopping backwards to be laying down again, feeling slightly drained from the effort, but still like there was a bit of restlessness that needed to be let out, after putting up with the emotional strain of the day. He couldn’t think of anything else he could attempt though-

The memories of when he had been on the couch earlier that afternoon slammed into him like a truck, and he rolled over, staring at the fabric of the couch in contemplation.

Slowly, he rubbed his hand over it, before doing the same with his other hand, deciding to use both hands for it this time. A rush of sensation flooded over his palms, and the only thing stopping him from digging his claws in to try and get more of the feeling was the knowledge that he’d end up tearing a hole in the fabric. This didn’t feel like it took nearly as much energy as the hand-shakey one did.

Soon, he found himself getting lost in the feeling again, hardly noticing when a purr of comfort started up in his chest.

This was… wonderful, actually.

Maybe he could try some other stims, see what stuck, maybe see if he could bring his old ones back, tomorrow.

…Right now though, just rubbing his hands back and forth against the fabric was more than enough.

Baby steps.

#Monkie Kid #fanfic #my writing #autistic Wukong my beloved

273 notes · View notes

literaryuppsala · 2 years

Text

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand.

Title: Another Taylor Swift song, I used ivy again and I am not sorry.

Pairing: Ivar x Fem!Reader

Summary: Ivar saves you in every way a woman can be saved.

Words: 6k(ish).

Warnings: Alright guys, bear with me cause we're going on a wild ride. Reader gets kidnaped by Harald and he tries to rape her (twice). Nothing happens cause our very own savior Mr. Ivar Lodbrok comes and saves the day. There's smut too, it's reader's first time, and it's Ivar's first time too, It's everything very soft. EXPLICIT, sex and violence, minors do not interact.

A/N: I deleted my other account (stylinsonliving) and all my works will be reposted here, any doubt send me an ask. Guys this is that scene in the Troy 2004 movie where Achilles saves Briseis, every resemblance is not a coincidence and every credit goes to Wolfgang Petersen, the director. My asks are always open: you can request a filthy smut, a relationship advice and my political opinion, I’ll answer to all of it. Feedback is always welcome and my mistakes are always mine.

The first thing you remembered from that night was the pain. As you were dragged out of your hiding place in the church your body drowned in the most excruciating pain you ever felt. You were pulled by your hair like you weighed nothing, that man would grunt like an animal, speak a language you didn’t quite know and look down at you with a scary smile plastered all over his face.

You screamed and struggled but as the seconds went by you learned that no matter how hard you fought you had no chance against him. Once he got tired of your shifting, he punched you hard on the head and everything went black.

A few hours later, the screaming woke you up, you found yourself bound to a tree while those same men screamed and laughed around you. As your heart started to race you noticed when one of them walked over to you, a creepy smirk on his face as he approached furtively until he was in front of you, one hand rested against the tree while the other held a cup. He smelled your hair, then your neck, dragging his nose against your skin while you tried to squirm away.

“Never been in between the legs of a christian woman.” He growled, bringing his wet finger to the cleavage of your chemise, then spilling the liquid on his cup over your breasts. “And I would love to be in between yours.”

He tried to kiss you but you bit his lip, strong enough to open a cut, his blood filled your taste buds and you spat down on the ground as he winced in pain, moving away a little and staring at you angrily. He quickly rubbed his opened lip with the back of his hand before closing it into a fist and punching you on your stomach.

You gasped. The strong man hit your face with more punches before signing to one of his friends to come close. They untied your arms then and dragged you towards the circle of men out there. They screamed like beasts, raising their cups and laughing at your pain. While one of them held your arms on your back, the other ripped your chemise in half, showing off your naked body to their hungry eyes.

“After I have my way with her, you can have her.” The same man who tried to kiss you growled while untying his tunic, but before he could do anything, another voice screamed from somewhere, putting everyone else in silence.

“Keep your cock to yourself, Harald.”

You widened your eyes, staring blankly over that man’s shoulder. Another man, a younger one this time, walked calmly from a hiding place deep into the woods. A small group of people, a few women included, followed him close behind.

“And why would I do that?” The man you learned to be named ‘Harald’ turned on his back and answered with gritted teeth.

“Because I told you to.” His smug face sent shivers down your spine.

“I don’t feel like doing what you tell me to do, Ivar.”

“You say that like I care about what you feel like doing, Harald.” He sighed. “I am very sorry If I gave you the wrong feeling that you have a say on this, because you don’t.”

“Don’t forget you’re out here on my back, little Ivar. The ships out there are mine, most of the men here are mine.” He grunted, grabbing him by his arm angrily. “And I am getting tired of you Ragnarssons stepping in my way.”

“And you have five of us to worry about.” Another insignificant head sign and four more northmen gathered around them and pulled him off of Ivar who pulled his own sword out of his belt and pointed at his neck.

You took that chance to hit the man behind you with your elbow as strong as you could. He released you in surprise but before you were able to run another one grabbed you, hugging you tightly against his chest.

“Take her to my tent.” Ivar ordered firmly. “And you…” He pushed the sword into his skin. “Stay away from her.”

You were calmly taken to Ivar’s tent, your body was treated with a lot more care this time, the man behind you didn’t dare to look at your bare body, covering your shoulders with the heavy fur he had on his hand. Once you were inside, he made you sit down on a pile of other furs gathered on the floor. A minute later Ivar pulled himself in, only then you noticed his legs and his crutches.

“My name is Ivar.” He grunted tiredly while pulling a chair to sit down, shifting in pain. “This is my brother Hvitserk.” He pointed to him. “We are…”

“The Ragnarssons.” You interrupted them. “I heard the stories.”

“We are very sorry for the way you were treated before.” Ivar continued.

“Would you treat me differently sir?” You teased defiantly.

“I just saved your life.” He answered with a knowing smirk.

“With what intentions?” You insisted.

“The intention to save your life.” He shrugged.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Then what are you doing in my tent? You can go out there if you want.”

You didn’t answer that, looked over the tent opening and then down your lap.

“Go find Ubbe and our men.” Ivar dropped on the floor and crawled towards you. “Keep Harald and his dogs away from here.”

“Stop telling me what to do, Ivar.” Hvitserk talked finally and didn’t seem happy.

“So do you prefer to let them in?” He asked impatiently and his brother just grunted. “Bring me that bowl and a rag. You can leave after.”

Once both of you were alone, Ivar took the wet cloth close to your face but you slapped it away. He tried It again, you slapped it again. He tried one more time and you kept slapping It until he gave up and threw the cloth on your face. You took it yourself and started to wipe the stains of dry blood spread on your skin.

“You were brave out there.” He sighed without looking at you.

“Brave enough to defend myself when I am attacked? Even a dog has that courage…” You grunted out, wetting the cloth and once again taking it to your face, cleaning the fresh wounds.

“It’s not easy to do that once you’re held by a bunch of hungry dogs. They hurt and threatened you, still you didn’t make it any easier for them. It takes courage to do that.” He was looking at you while talking, you couldn’t help your wandering eyes to drop onto his legs. “You didn’t expect much help from a cripple, did you?”

“What happened to them?” You dared to ask.

“I guess I just wasn't the gods’ favorite.” He answered while looking at his legs and then back at you.

“There’s only one true God.” You hissed, moving your gaze away from that man.

“To you.” He answered knowingly. “That’s quite a boring statement to me, you know? I truly believe it’s not possible for only one God to look after this whole creation. That would be too much work for only one.”

“There’s no such thing as too much work for God. He takes care of all his creations, we are his children, he has power to take care of us all.”

“Yeah? And where were him while you were out there being hurt by Harald and his men?” He asked with a curious smile. “If you’re his child, why would he let you suffer so much?” You didn’t have the answer for that question, but couldn’t look away from Ivar’s gaze. “See, my Gods would never let bad things happen to their children, but not every viking out there is a son of a God. My father was. And so are we, me and my brothers.”

“You just said you’re not your gods’ favorite.”

“You saw my men looking down as I walked past them, didn’t you? That wouldn’t happen to any cripple.” He grunted once more. “I might not be the gods’ favorite, little one, but I’m certainly part of the good ones.”

You spent the next few days hiding inside Ivar’s tent. Hvitserk and a girl called Torvi would come in with food and water for you during the day, Ivar would come back by night and a man would always stay outside whenever you were alone. You didn’t feel like a prisoner, but never felt free to go either, not alone at least.

Every night you would watch while Ivar slept peacefully, snoring softly with one hand on his naked chest and the other under his head, never paying any mind to you, leaving his knives and weapons at your reach. Every night the idea crossed your mind, taking one of those knives, taking his life and running back to the city, back to Wessex and your old life, but that seemed so far away that you would always brush the thoughts away.

After days of sleeping only a few hours your body was giving up already, couldn’t bear to stay awake, but could never rest when sleeping, never letting yourself to lay down all of your defenses. Until one day, the silence outside gave you no warning about the abrupt pull on your ankles, your body was dragged outside the tent through the muddy ground until you felt his weight on you, his half naked body dragging over yours and the bad smell of ale coming out of his mouth.

“Little bunny got all alone tonight, what a pity.” He grunted while messily kissing your neck.

“Release me!” You mumbled, trying to push him off of you, struggling with your legs trying to avoid him between your thighs. “HELP!” You screamed as loud as you could.

“Keep screaming… I like that.”

You heard when he, once again, ripped your new chemise appart, his muddy hands staining your untouched skin, rubbing painfully. The drizzle turned into a full on rainstorm, the noise swallowing your screams when he finally made It between your thighs, taking one of his hands between your bodies. Once again, he tried to kiss you and you bit his lips as strong as you could, sticking your thumbs on his eyes and making him roll off of you in pain.

Without giving It a second thought, you ran. You ran as fast as you could through the woods, hearing while the drunk viking ran right after you, feelin the broken branches piercing through the skin of your feet, looking behind your shoulders trying to keep an eye on the man behind you. You ran for what felt like an eternity until you bumped into something, into someone and when you raised your eyes you couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Ivar.” You mumbled, tugging at his armor, nuzzling into his body, hugging him tightly like he was your life line, the only thing keeping you breathing. You didn’t even notice the group of people surrounding him, when he wrapped you under his arm everything else vanished and all you could sense was him and the strange sense of safety he brought to you.

“What happened? What are you doing out here?” He asked, worry all over his tone as he grabbed the back of your neck, his body trembling while trying to keep you with one arm and hold the crutch with the other. “What happened, little one?”

You didn’t have to answer, Harald finally reached you and you felt Ivar’s body stiff against yours immediately. You turned your head a little looking at Harald over your shoulder. Then you hugged him tighter, hiding your face into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes and trying to completely erase Harald from your mind.

It took a few minutes of silence until Ivar hopped up his chariot with you under his arm, the storm was getting stronger by the minute and you refused to let go of his body. Still holding onto him, as Ivar left with the carriage, you looked around quickly, in time to see Hvitserk and Ubbe dismount from their horses and head towards Harald, you closed your eyes again and leaned into Ivar’s body, hugging him until you reached the camp.

He didn’t say anything, but every time you shook in fear, he hugged you tighter. Once you got there, both of you left the chariot behind with another man, and headed to his tent as fast as you could. He couldn’t hug you while walking, but he made sure to hold your hand until you finally entered the tent. Before you could say anything, someone else showed up and Ivar’s features immediately hardened.

“Ivar…” He started, but was interrupted just as fast.

“Out.” Ivar grunted under his breath, the young man looked at you, a silent plea before walking out. “Stay inside.” He ordered firmly to you before following his man out.

Your eyes followed him, the little spaces between the tent fabric showing half of the scene that was unwinding outside.

“What happened?” You heard as he asked angrily. “You left her alone?” He shouted.

“I got distracted for a moment and…” The young man stuttered in response.

Before he could finish, Ivar pulled his sword from his belt and moved towards him, you yelled in panic:

“No!” You jumped out of the tent towards Ivar grabbing his forearm before he could cut the poor man’s throat.

“What are you doing?” He yelled at you.

“No more killing!” You yelled back.

The storm was unrelenting, and even though It was hard to see, you watched as the adam’s apple on Ivar’s throat went up and down, as if he was carefully thinking about his next words. Your body was the only thing between Ivar and that man, you were his only protection.

“What are you talking about?? It’s his fault Harald almost…”

“It’s nobody’s fault but Harald’s. And even If It was his fault, his death wouldn’t change what happened.” You insisted. “I don’t want anyone getting killed in my name.”

“You should be honored.”

“Innocent blood spilled for nothing, there's no reason to be honored. I won’t be an excuse for another man’s death!”

Ivar looked at you like you were insane, but gave up eventually, dropping his sword and sighing loudly. He then pushed you inside the tent and looked over his shoulder before following you inside.

“I wonder if I had Harald under my sword you would have the same reaction.” He mumbled while starting to untie his upper body’s armor. “Not so innocent blood, right?”

“It’s not your right to take any man’s life.” You mouthed, crossing your arms around yourself. “He will be punished for his sins.”

“You seem very certain about that.” He grunted as he pushed his soaked tunic over his head, showing off the wounds on his chest. You looked away, turning your back at him. “I could use some help.”

“I can’t. You’re naked.” You answered shyly.

“Isn’t your god teaching you to help the ones in need?” You heard as he fell with a tud on the chair, a tiny whimper following right after. “I’m the one in need at the moment.”

“You can do it by yourself. I saw you do it by yourself before.” You insisted, looking over your shoulder discreetly and finding his sparkling blue eyes looking right back at you. You shivered, turning your face again.

“Yes, but before I wasn’t coming back from a battle. I’m wounded, little one.”

“I can’t… I can’t!”

Another muffled laugh sent shivers down your body, you heard while he struggled with the crutches, next thing he dropped on the ground and crawled over the makeshift bed, only in his trousers, as always. After sitting over the furs, he cleaned himself a bit before laying down completely, covering his body and protecting himself from the cold.

“You should take off these wet rags.” He grunted, looking at you.

“I don’t have anything else to put on.” You whispered in response.

He laughed again, a humorless laugh as he looked at you in disbelief.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, little one. There’s nothing working down my waist. Even If I wanted to do anything with you, I wouldn’t be able to.”

“I-I… I don’t believe you.” You looked at him with widened eyes.

“I guess you won’t be sharing the bed with me either.” He mumbled with a smirk.

“You know I won’t.”

“That’s a pity. It’s very warm down here.”

It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, only then you went to your corner, sitting down on the ground hugging your own legs against your chest, trying to stay warm. Either way, after the first hour your trembling body won the battle against your morals, you got rid of the ripped off rags and carefully laid down under the covers, right next to Ivar.

Your body warmed up almost immediately and you finally stopped shaking. You turned to your side, trying your best to keep some distance from Ivar but keeping an eye on him. He sighed suddenly and your body stiffed, scared he might try anything with you, but he just moved both of his arms under his head. You looked at him shyly, curiosity taking the best of you while you tried to understand what every figure painted on his chest could possibly mean.

“You’re staring.” His voice startled you.

“I-I thought you were sleeping.” You mumbled shyly.

“I was. You woke me up.” He turned his head to look at you, a grin plastered on his face.

“I am… Sorry.” You swallowed hard.

“Come.” He growled, pulling you into his arms, your naked chest pressed against his.

“What are you doing?” You snapped, pushing him away from you.

“Warming you up. Stop pushing me, I told you nothing can happen between us.” He insisted, but you kept pushing him away until you turned on your back, reaching for the knife he had left on the floor and quickly putting It against his neck.

“Killing me It’s a terrible plan, little one.” He whispered, his hands pressing against your back while you kept the knife against the skin of his neck. “But that’s your decision. So… Go ahead.”

Ivar raised his head giving you enough space to slit his throat If you wanted to. Your hands were shaking, your heart was racing against your chest and your breathing was erratic, you stared at him in panic.

“You’re insane.” You whispered.

“So I've been told.” He answered, moving his neck until the knife crossed the first layer of skin, a thin line of blood oozed down his neck. He then lowered his head, catching your gaze with his, a knowing grin spreading all over his face.

You didn’t notice he was moving, not until his lips touched yours softly. At first you freezed, widened your eyes staring blankly into his, but then you parted your lips a little, letting the viking suck your lower lip into his mouth. He pulled away, he seemed as surprised as you were.

“Will you take this off of my neck, little one?” He asked, and you nodded, pulling the knife away. “Let me kiss you again…” He inhaled, nipping at his bottom lip with a hopeful look, his eyes locked on yours.

Slowly, you pulled away a little, relaxing the grip around the knife. Ivar rolled off of you, laying on top of you, his thigh bending between your legs while his hands grabbed at your waist. He kissed you again, parting his lips and waiting until you parted yours so he could deepen the kiss, his tongue slowly massaging yours until he distracted you enough so he could take the knife from your hands and throw It away.

That was your first kiss and you blindly followed his silent commands, repeating his moves a little awkwardly. Ivar pulled away only when he had to breathe, and you followed his face with your eyes closed, yearning for his mouth. You didn’t see the smile forming on his lips before he kissed you again, grabbing your arms and putting ‘em around his own neck.

The weight of his chest kneading on your breasts was slowly making you ache between your legs and his thigh pressing against your core wasn’t helping either, every flex of his muscle sent shock waves through your body, your hips moving on its own accord seeking uncontrollably for the new sensation he was bringing to you.

Without noticing, Ivar started to do the same, grinding against your thigh, his right hand searching between your bodies until it found your breast, kneading at the flesh, teasing your nipple with the tip of his fingers.

When the air became thin again, Ivar dropped his lips to your neck, starting to suck purple marks from your sensitive skin, making you shudder. Your hands found his braided hair and you let slip the tiniest moan, dragging a low grunt from his throat.

His sinful mouth kept his tour down your body until his lips latched at your nipple, sucking and teasing the little nub until it became pebbled and did the same with the other, sucking it into his mouth like a newborn baby.

Ivar opened your legs with his hips and, giving no time for you to protest, licked down your belly until he found your core, latching at your wet folds, sipping at your juices like the finest, the sweetest wine. You widened your eyes at the new feeling, arching your back on the bed as you gripped the furs under your body.

“Ivar…” You moaned shyly. He didn’t stop, starting to suck on your clit feverishly, making you gasp.

He kept sucking on you, messily sucking on you until you were dripping through the corners of his mouth, you could sense your core getting wetter and wetter by the minute, a weird coil on your lower belly started to form and you felt like you needed to go to the bathroom. You tried to pull away from his grip, but both of his hands held your hips in place and you felt his tongue enter you, you moaned loud, calling his name, closing your eyes as you buckled up against his mouth.

“Ivar!” You called again, still trying to push him away.

Your legs started to shake and as the coil snapped you pressed his head between your thighs, moaning loudly when you reached your peak without actually knowing what had happened.

Ivar kept licking on you for what felt like an eternity, before stopping to look at you from down there. You closed your eyes and covered your face feeling utterly embarrassed. You felt as he moved but then he stayed quiet, you looked between your fingers just to see him in awe staring at his own cock. Curious, you finally uncovered your face and sat down, looking at him with a frown.

“It never happened before.” He murmured, still looking at his up and proud cock, head an angry shade of red, leaking profusely down his length. “It ne-never…” He raised his eyes to stare at you, eyes widened.

“What?” You asked in shock, eyes focusing on his impressive size.

“My cock. It never… Worked before.” He whispered, reaching for your hand, pulling it until you touched him. “I made you cum and got hard…”

“Be-because… Because of… Me?” You blinked, looking at him while letting him move your hand up and down his length.

Ivar closed his eyes, lips parting as he sighed heavily. You looked at him, feeling strangely proud of yourself. Your fingers slipped easily, he was wet and hot against your palm, and as he moaned softly, all you wanted was to keep dragging those beautiful sounds from him. But all of that was completely new territory for you, an open field, you didn’t want to hurt him.

“Ivar… H-help me… I don’t know what… What to do.” You whispered shyly, making him open his eyes, his beautiful, sparkling, glossy eyes staring down at you like you were some kind of treasure.

“You don’t…” He gasped as you pressed your fingers around his girth. “Have to… Oh Gods…” He moaned again, eyes now focused on your hand.

You smiled to yourself, releasing his cock and crawling over to him until you were sitting on your calves, right by his side. You raised your hand to touch him again, but he stopped you.

“Sit on me.” He commanded, hands on your hips trying to pull you in.

You widened your eyes, scared. You kneeled on the furs as he held your hips, opening your legs trying to make you straddle him. You held onto his shoulders for balance and grunted in fear.

“Wait… Wait… Ivar…”

He stopped and looked at you, he seemed just as nervous as you were. You swallowed hard, tears gathering on the corners of your eyes. You blinked scared and his grip loosened a bit, only then you felt his hands shaking.

“I’m… I’m sorry, little one.” He breathed and was about to release you when you held his hand.

“Won’t be comfortable for you…” You murmured shyly, moving away from his lap and kneeling beside him again, he blinked confused. “Can you… Can you lay down, please?”

He nodded, moving over the furs until he laid down completely. You took a deep breath before straddling him again, you were wet enough to drip onto his hard cock, either way Ivar licked his fingers and touched you, smearing your juices with his saliva, making you even more wet. With his other hand he held his length, lining It with your center, your hands on each side of his head, eyes focused on his waist.

“Look at me.” He asked and you obeyed, looking up at his face. “Are you sure?”

“Just… Just… Just… Wait a second…” You took a deep breath before closing your eyes and nodding.

“But I need you to look at me.” He begged, his voice was trembling just like his hands. You obeyed, looking down at him with hooded eyes.

Slowly, you began to sit down on him, the head of his cock pressing into you, opening you. You bit on your lower lip, the stretch burning against your walls as he slowly entered you. When he found a thin barrier he stopped completely, holding up your hips .

“Ivar…” You whined, looking at him with glossy eyes.

“Hug me.” He asked and you nodded, moving down on him until your head found the crook of his neck, hands on his shoulders.

He kept you in place for a few more minutes, your walls hugging tightly around him while he used all his strength to wait for your time, he didn’t want to hurt you, not too much at least. Your heart was beating fast and loud on your head, you were breathing rapidly, frantically.

“You’re doing so good for me.” He mumbled, lips finding the skin of your shoulders as he started to suck brand new marks on you. Taking his kisses to your neck, Ivar moved your hair from his way, starting to lick on your sensitive skin, doing his best to distract you again.

You started to moan, absently moving on your hips, your walls fluttering around his girth. You kissed him, holding his face, letting him push you down a little more. You whined against his lips, breathing heavily as he kept pushing you down until he was balls deep into you. Both of you parted the kiss so you could moan loudly, Ivar closing his eyes as he felt your walls gripping him like a vice.

“Oh gods… This is…This is Valhalla…” He groaned.

Your vision was blurred by your tears, you never felt that full before, or that vulnerable. Ivar’s hands started to run up and down your sweaty back, whispering praises into the shell of your ear like prayers to a god, to a goddess. His hips started to buckle, his throbbing cock twitching inside you as your walls shuddered and your hips started to grind down, unconsciously meeting his timid thrusts.

“That’s It, little one, that’s it.” He mumbled in awe, both of his closed as he pressed you against his body.

Ivar covered your shoulder skin in kisses, thrusted up into you very slowly, waiting for you to meet down with your hips. Your cries were muffled against his neck, but as the burning sensation started to fade, your body started to seek the same feeling he brought to you with his mouth.

With your hands on each side of his head, you raised your upper body, unconsciously pressing your hips down even more, the new angle making the head of his cock nudge against a spot inside you, you had no idea was there, but sent electric shock waves through your body and dragged a loud mewl from your throat. You did It again, rolling your lips until you found that same spot, Ivar’s hands finding home on your hips letting you move the way you wanted.

“You’re so beautiful…” He whispered, looking at your throbbing slit. “So beautiful, little-oh-little one…”

Ivar moaned, one of his hands leaving your hip to knead on your breast, your hands quickly meeting his, covering them while you started to move a little faster. Your eyes rolled back into your skull, the feeling on your lower belly started to show up again, making you roll your hips faster. You felt when his hand snaked around your neck, squeezing softly. Your breath hitched and you gasped, his free thumb met your throbbing clit while you began to bounce up and down on his cock.

It was like your body knew exactly what you needed, while your brain went completely blank except for Ivar’s name, your hips circled, rolled and bounced naturally. Both your hands clung to the one he had around your neck, the coil on your belly became tighter and tighter by the minute and the mewls escaping through your parted lips mixed with Ivar’s grunts, filling the tent and probably soaring outside too.

“Ivar…” You started but got cut off by one particularly deep thrust, moaning softly.

“I know. I got you, you can cum on my cock. Make a mess for me, please.” His pleas came out as a broken cry, the sound went straight to your core, the coil snapped finally and you felt yourself clenching down on his cock. Ivar followed you close behind, a warm liquid spurted inside you and dripped down your core onto his cock and pelvis.

With your eyes closed, you fell on his chest, breathing heavily while he hugged you tightly, one hand on your head, caressing your hair while the other pressed down on your back. You stayed like this for a moment, Ivar’s cock slipping out of you after a minute or two. His chest went up and down against yours, rapidly after first, but then slowed down and yours followed.

Ivar moved under you and you squealed in surprise, moving your head to look at him, at his neck to be more specific. He looked down, his eyes meeting yours making you blush and hide your face on the curve of his neck, avoiding his gaze. He laughed softly.

“No need to get all shy on me now.” He whispered, moving the strands of hair from your face.

“It’s easier saying it than doing it.” You answered, still hiding.

He laughed again, keeping his hands on your body and for whatever reason, none of that felt wrong, quite the opposite. But you still didn’t know what to say, your brain started working fast, seeking for the dark side of that, of him. Slowly you became scared of the future.

“Am I still your prisoner?” You asked after some time.

“You never were.” He answered quickly. “But…”

“But what?”

“I don’t want you to go. I’ll be sad if you go.”

You finally looked at him, he looked back. Ivar seemed so young and vulnerable, far away from the scary man you were used to seeing.

“I want you to stay, little one. Stay with me.” He begged, hand meeting the side of your face and you unconsciously leaned into his hand.

You didn’t answer right away, after a moment he fell asleep and you finally found the courage to run away, you grabbed one of Ivar’s tunics and ran, making room for yourself through the woods until you finally reached the gates of Wessex. The guards saw you and immediately opened It, your fiancée jumping down the stairs until he reached you on the floor, pulling you in for a hug.

“Thank God you’re safe.” He whispered. “I thought I lost you forever!” He grabbed your face with both of his hands, leaning his forehead against yours.

Everything you knew was different then. Your hometown, your fiancée, your life. Looking into his eyes didn’t bring you any comfort or sense of safety, not as you found with Ivar. He looked at you for a moment before frowning.

“What did they do to you?” He asked angrily.

“Nothing.” You answered, holding his hands and pulling them away from your face. “I just need to go home, please.” You whispered.

He then covered your body that was half naked to protect you from prying eyes and walked you to the house you lived with your sister. Your parents had died years before, living both of you by yourselves, as soon as you got there she hugged you tightly, crying softly on your shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” She whispered on your neck. “I shouldn’t have left you alone in the church.”

“It’s past now.” You tried to calm her down.

“Come, I’ll help you clean yourself.”

You said goodbye to your fiancée while she prepared a bath for you. As soon as you entered the wooden tub, the stains of blood between your thighs turned the water slightly pink. Your sister saw It but didn’t say anything, helping you to clean yourself completely. Moments later, you were sitting on your bed, covered in a clean dress while she brushed your hair.

“Are you alright?” She asked shyly and you just nodded in response.

As soon as you found yourself alone, you looked out of the window of your room, the night started to paint the sky a dark shade of blue that reminded you of his eyes. You felt deeply empty, for whatever reason, Ivar was the only thing on your mind. You looked around, none of that felt as familiar as his arms, as warm as his bed. You hugged yourself, feeling dirty, tears gathering around your eyes as you found yourself missing him.

Later, the screaming outside your house woke you up and just like you felt the drops of the rain on your skin on a stormy day, you felt his presence. You got up, sat up on your bed and looked out of the window again. The impulse was uncontrollable, you just left. Ran through your door, towards the noise because you knew he would be there.

When your eyes found his, the sparkling blue lit up under the dim light of the fire surrounding him. He surely seemed like a god bringing chaos into your lull. He seemed hurt, he looked at you angrily at first, but then the relief painted down his features.

Your fiancée grabbed you by your forearm, dragging you through the mess of screaming people while you struggled to get released, you screamed but he didn’t seem to hear you. For a moment you gave up until you heard his voice, right behind you both. He approached in his chariot, crossing in front you and stopping you in your tracks.

Ivar didn’t say anything, he looked at you. He looked at you and for the very first time you felt truly seen. He offered you his hand and without a second thought you jumped into his chariot, straight into his arms. He then smiled at you, beautifully, dragging a smile from your lips before kissing you feverishly.

“Let’s go home, little one.” He whispered against your lips, before leaving all that mess behind.

***

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