#what we were talking about but since then ive just been like even more anxious and self conscious whenever i have to go out anywhere and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

louellaby · 7 months

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FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

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W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

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taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778 @yourlocalgrass @kaiserkisser @hhurric4ne

C H A P T E R V I I

「 To My Dear Family 」

"MC, we're leaving now. Take good care of the house with Soley until we get back. Make sure nothing bad happens or there will be consequences. Am I clear?"

The demon brothers were summoned to the castle by Diavolo. It seemed something so important, having the need to summon them so early in the morning. Lucifer said to make sure nothing bad happened while he was going on and on about minding the mansion, but you knew he wasn't talking about the building. He wanted you to make sure nothing bad happens to Soley. Otherwise, it's him you'll answer to.

"Yes, Lucifer. I heard you loud and clear. I hope you have a safe trip."

As soon as the seven of them departed without saying much to you, you headed towards your bedroom in hopes of studying the material Solomon gave you as homework. When you passed by Soley's room, you noticed how quiet it was. As if you were infected with the brothers' care for her, worry filled you, and you immediately knocked on the door. There was no answer, so you knocked once more. Just as you were about to knock again, you received a message on your D.D.D. from the girl herself.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

S O L E Y

Hello, MC. I went out today with a few of my demon friends.

Lucifer already knows this.

Don't worry about me though, I'll be fine on my own.

Do you want anything from the village?

I'll bring it back home for you.

Y O U

To which village are you heading?

You should have told me that first before you left. Lucifer never said anything about you leaving today.

S O L E Y

Well, maybe he forgot to tell you.

Although, I did tell him last night when we were in his office.

Maybe it slipped his mind because his paperwork's been piling up again.

Y O U

That's weird...

Lucifer usually never forgets anything, nor does he let anything slide right by him.

Are you sure you told him?

S O L E Y

Whether you believe me or not is up to you. It won't change the fact that I'm already outside, and I'm not telling you where I am since you'll just drag me back to the house.

I'm not a little girl anymore, MC, I can take care of myself. Tell Lucifer and his brothers that, too, because they tend to worry so much about me.

Too much even.

Y O U

You really should be more careful, Soley. Those boys are worried for good reason.

I know you think you can handle yourself, but just remember that you're in the Devildom.

This place is dangerous for humans like us. So please tell me where you are so I can at least come and protect you in any case something happens.

... Soley?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You didn't receive a reply, which made you anxious. Taking your coat with you, you dashed out of the house and headed towards Purgatory Hall. You had a feeling that Soley might have just ignored your message and didn't want to say anymore, but you couldn't risk it. You didn't want to risk anything at that moment.

As you were catching your breath from running a long way, you knocked at the door of Purgatory Hall. It opened shortly after your last knock and revealed a certain angel that displayed worry on his face the moment he laid his eyes on you.

"MC? What are you doing here? Did you run all the way here from the House of Lamentation?" Cassiel was there by your side when you almost fell to the ground. Not only were your legs trembling, but also your hands, and just your whole body. The angel first assumed that you were frightened, but a glint of a certain look in your eyes told him something different.

"M-MC!" The two of you heard a voice from down the hall of the entrance. A young angel came running towards you as soon as he saw you from the window of his bedroom. You tried to look as well as you could, but you couldn't fool him. Letting the older angel carry you inside, Luke followed the two of you shortly after closing the front door. Simeon and Solomon entered the living room where Cassiel placed you on the couch, and Luke handed you a cup of warm tea he brewed before you arrived.

But you knew you had no time for all of that. You told them what was troubling you. At first, they, too, were worried until a few seconds passed, and the thought came to them. Was it really a bad thing for Soley to disappear?

"Please help me find Soley and bring her back home! I... I need to make sure she's safe. Otherwise, my p—...p— I just.. —p-please....!" You bowed your head towards them after speaking as fast— or even faster than Leviathan whenever he's in one of his moods. They barely understood your words, so they missed the slip-up in your stuttering. You looked at all of them with your adorable puppy eye look. It was something you knew they could never resist, and something you very much needed.

Seeing a lot of ripples from the cup of tea in your hand due to your shaking, Luke grew more worried about you. You knew the young angel wouldn't allow anything bad happening to Soley, even when he wasn't fond of her as well. He was a proper angel in the making, after all.

"We have to find her quickly!" Luke exclaimed as he looked at Simeon and Solomon for help. Simeon nodded in agreement. Solomon hesitated. He looked at you, wondering if that's what you really wanted. When you nodded at him, he sighed deeply and agreed to help. He really couldn't say no to you.

Before the sorcerer could leave the room to prepare a way to locate Soley, he received a message from one of his pact demons. Barbatos himself. He then informed the rest of what the butler told him.

"Apparently, we don't have to worry about Soley anymore. Barbatos said that she's secretly being monitored, so if something happens to her, he'll be alerted right away."

Barbatos, huh? A wave of relief washed your troubles away, making you melt onto the sofa. Luke dropped himself on the spot next to you, and he rested his body against yours. He looked happy to see you again... It hurt. Why couldn't they look at you like that anymore?

After a few hours of catching up with them and getting to eat Luke's delicious cookies again, you headed back out. You agreed to let Cassiel walk you home, knowing he had something he wanted to talk to you about, and it was making you wonder. As if he could read your thoughts, he answered that question.

"Did you make up your mind yet, MC?"

"... Yes, actually.... I'm going to leave."

"I see... Back to the Human Realm, then?"

You smiled sadly in response. You looked around you and watched as the lights shone upon every demon in the streets. You passed by the stores filled with memories of you and the brothers. Memories that seemed to be too far away from your reach.

When you reached for the gates of the house, Cassiel grabbed your hand and squeezed it for a tiny moment. You quietly questioned his intentions before he spoke up, "When you ever need something, please don't hesitate to tell me. You may not think I'm as reliable as the brothers, but I'm sure I can help you in a way they can't.... So when that happens..."

The way the angel was acting made you wonder something about him. Was he always like that? Now that you thought about it, you've never had the chance to judge his character properly. You've never really seen him at the moments when he's most happy, sad, excited, or flustered. So, in the end, you ended up taking his offer. When you did, he smiled with content and waited for you to head inside the house before turning on his heels and heading back home.

You returned to your room, mind filled with thoughts. Disturbing, blurry yet clear, pretty little thoughts. Those were all you needed to pick up your pen and start writing on a piece of paper.

There, Soley sat on your bed as she fidgeted with a sealed envelope containing the letter you had just written. She recalled the sight of you when she had just returned home; you were walking down the stairs of the entrance hall, heading towards the front door with your packed luggage in hand.

"MC? Are you going somewhere?"

"Soley...! You're... home... Much, much earlier than I expected."

"Yeah, well... something happened... Never mind that— Where are you going?"

"I'm... I'm heading back to the human world."

Soley squealed with excitement, letting herself fall backwards onto your bed, hovering the letter she had already ripped open above her face.

"I left a letter for the brothers in my room... It's just on my pillow. So, if they don't see it tonight, can you give it to them tomorrow? I want you to make sure they read it after I'm already gone."

After she finished reading the contents of your message, she pushed herself up and ran out of your room. She rushed towards the common room, somewhere she knew the brothers wouldn't be around for long after just getting home. She made her way towards the fireplace and squatted down, carefully watching the flame dance before reaching the letter out to it. It didn't take long for the fire to engulf the whole thing, and the girl was smiling during the whole procedure.

The flame danced and danced and danced some more until there was nothing left of the papers but soot and ash. Soley jumped in surprise and got up on her feet when she heard the common room doors slowly creak open. She immediately dusted herself off and made sure she looked proper before facing the eldest born who had just entered the room.

"Soley, what are you doing so close to the fireplace?"

"Calm down, Lucifer. I didn't get hurt, I promise, so don't worry about me! I was just a bit cold, but I'm better now! Much, much better!"

"... Alright. We brought dinner from Hell's Kitchen, so head to the dining room. Everyone's already waiting."

"Okaayyy~!"

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

To my dear family,

I just wanted to say that I still love you no matter what happens, and I want the best for all of you. I've never thought that things would go this way. Not since you accepted me as part of your family all those years ago. I really wished it didn't come to this, but it's too late for that now.

I want you all to know that I'm happy for you. You're all cheerful and content with how everything is, and... that makes me really happy...

I'm writing this letter as a goodbye. A goodbye to all of our precious memories together and to what could have been. I'm really sorry that I went with this instead of personally saying goodbye, but even if I did get the chance to speak with you, I knew I wouldn't be able to bear it. I can't part with you while I look at your faces, so this is the best way. And, if there was any chance at all, I wouldn't want you to stop me.

By the time you're reading this, I've already left for the human realm. If you ever want to see me again, I added my home address and contact information on here. Please find me whenever you want to because I know for a fact that I would want to see you again and be part of your family once more. But for now, it's goodbye.

I'll be leaving my D.D.D. with Diavolo and Barbatos, so please don't contact me there anymore. It would be useless as I won't be able to see your messages.

Well... this letter has gone off long enough, so I'll stop here. Just remember that I love each and every one of you. I'm looking forward to you reaching out to me.

With all the love and wishes,

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

「 CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VIII 」

#obey me #obey me mc #obey me shall we date #obey me angst #obey me replaced mc au #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #Forget-Me-Not

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moonsgemini · 10 months

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seeking arrangements - iv

summary: With just two days left of before the wedding the celebrations continue. Going to a bachelorette & bachelor party when you’re a fake couple might cause some issues. Especially when Lola can’t seem to stop taking tequila shots & the liquid might have given her too much courage.

warnings: escort!rafe x oc, alcohol, angst, insecurities, fluff, thomas (he deserves a warning), shitty family, kissing

wc: 5.1k

an: I’m gonna be real I kinda hate this part, I feel like I lacked in every aspect lol. But it is done, & there’s two more parts to goooo. ALSO HELP I cannot get my comments to work. Like I can’t reply to people or comment on other peoples posts. It’s on in my settings I’m pretty sure so idk what I’m doing wrong.

series masterlist - previous part

“What’s on the agenda today?” Rafe asked before taking a bite of his bagel.

Lola was sitting next to him squinting at her laptop. She may have had the week off from work but she couldn’t help but try and catch up on some pieces that needed to be read. She hadn’t felt focused enough the last few days to try and squeeze in any work because she’d been so anxious. After the engagement party and the boat day she felt a lot more relaxed. Rafe managed to put a sense of calm over her.

After they got home from the party they spent the rest of the night in bed watching another movie. This one was Rafe’s pick. He made her watch The Godfather, but they didn’t really pay too much attention. Lola kept asking questions during the film and of course Rafe answered all of them. Never once did he get upset at her for talking during the movie, something Thomas hated that she did. The conversation ended up leading to them talking about everything. Rafe opened up a lot more to her and she felt closer to him.

It scared her because it meant that even if they continue to be friends after this she’ll never have him in the way she wants. When this whole thing began Lola was unsure about it because what if she got caught but she never thought that there’d be a possibility she’d fall in love with the guy. Of course it had to be Rafe that she reached out to, the most perfect guy.

“Ummm we have the bachelor and bachelorette parties today. Girls are going to one bar and guys are going to another,” She turned to him giving him a weak smile. This is the first time they’ll really be separated from each other.

Rafe groaned, “I have to be with those frat boys all night.”

She threw her head back laughing, “They aren’t that bad. Well except for you know who, he’s that bad.”

“Oh they are that bad sweetheart,” He took a sip of his coffee before continuing, “Except Harry, he’s been pretty decent. I don’t know why you ran with these crowds.”

“Please I only saw them when we came here because they’re all my sisters friends or Harry’s. They met them in college.”

“Explains why you and Tabitha are the coolest,” Rafe smirked at her. She rolled her eyes playfully turning back to the laptop in front of her.

“So that’s why my ears were ringing,” Tabitha said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Good morning to you Tabs,” Lola grinned watching her cousin pour herself a big mug of coffee.

Rafe chuckled, “Went a little too hard yesterday?”

“Possibly,” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the supplies for a bagel.

“Hey you better be able to go out later I’m not doing that alone,” Lola scolded.

Tabitha sat in the seat in front of her, “Relax I’ll make it. Takes me back to college, drunk every weekend.”

“Okay so what am I supposed to do with these guys for a whole night?” Rafe was not excited at all for the bachelor party. Ever since the boat conversations he’s been trying to avoid them. Everything was a dick riding contest to them.

Tabitha waves her bagel around, “Just get drunk, talk about sports too.”

“Getting drunk does sound promising,” he shrugged.

Lola laughed, “You can also talk about finance, you know they love that stuff.”

Tabitha nodded her head, “I’m always having to tell Andrew to shut up when he starts giving me financial advice.”

“I definitely don’t need financial advice. Sometimes I’m glad I don’t have many friends. The less friends or people close to you the better,” Rafe shrugged.

“You two really are made for each other,” Tabitha said looking between the two with a playful grin.

Lola had come up with a plan. Maybe it was a stupid plan and would end horribly or it could go amazingly. She was going to go out and take a few shots to earn that liquid courage before ubering home if Rafe was back and then try to seduce him. She couldn’t stand being around him and not be able to touch him.

Of course they did subtle stuff to convince her family, but it was never enough. When he’d place his hand on the small of her back to guide her around the engagement party her body felt ablaze. Her fingers itched to run through his hair and pull him closer. They hadn’t kissed since the boat and her lips ached for his. She missed his soft touch, the things he would make her feel with something so simple as his hand on the back of her neck.

Sleeping next to him at night was the hardest. He slept shirtless and it was incredibly distracting. There had been moments where she’d wake up to his arm around her, his nose tucked into the back of her neck. Rafe knew what he was doing, he’d blame it on him doing it in his sleep. He was really like half asleep and she just looked so cute and soft laying there he couldn’t help himself. If she moved away or anything he would have pulled away but she never did.

He was very disappointed that he wouldn’t really get to hangout with her tonight when their time playing boyfriend and girlfriend was almost over. He’d rather spend the day at the beach with her than drinking with a bunch of guys he didn’t know.

He was sitting outside on the deck going through his emails while thinking about the girl that was inside. Lola insisted on making margaritas for them to pregame. They didn’t have to leave until six so they had time to just relax. Lola came out with glasses and a pitcher of the alcoholic drink.

“Woah there cowboy, we’re gonna finish all that?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Well we can try, or it will just go to waste.” She smirked shrugging. Sitting down next to him she began to pour the watermelon margaritas into the glasses. He smiled at her just looking at her. Rafe liked watching her just do stuff.

“What?” She asked with a nervous laugh. His blue eyes made her nervous because when he looked at her she felt like he was actually looking at her. Not the girl everyone thought was weak because of her breakup. Not the girl that lets everyone walk all over her.

He shrugged, “Nothing, just like looking at you.”

She looked away from his tense gaze, a small grin forming at her lips. It was hard to deny the fact that he didn’t have an effect on her, “You’re too much.” she said because it was true. Everything about him was so overwhelming.

“So Rafe what’s your next job after this one? Or should I say who is your next job?”

He adjusted in his seat. Scrunching his nose as he looked out at the backyard, “Uh no one right now. I-I don’t know I’ve been thinking of retiring.”

“Woah really?” She looked over at him a bit shocked.

“Yeah this week has given me a new perspective you could say,” he took a drink from his margarita.

“How so?” She asked her voice quieter now.

He shrugged, “I guess I just realized I want more. I don’t want to be a paid companion anymore, I want to be just a companion.”

Butterflies of hope flew around in her stomach. Lola’s delusions were starting to get the best of her. Maybe it’s because of me, she thought. Rafe takes her silence as not a good sign.

He feels like maybe he had said too much and scared her away, “Uh so I’ll probably try and get myself out there more. Ya know when we get back to the city. Find a girl finally go on dates.”

The butterflies were crushed at those words. Find a girl. Those words hurt her but she couldn’t show it. Rafe could read her better than anyone even though he’s only known her for a month. Her furrowed brows and the way she couldn’t look at him gave her away. He knew what he said hurt her, maybe he had been reading everything wrong.

She cleared her throat to try and get rid of the lump in her throat, “That’s uh great Rafe. I-I think that sounds great.” She smiled at him the best she could. Lola started chugging the rest of her margarita not really in the mood to sit and drink with him.

He watched her with concern. Rafe wanted to shove his words back into his mouth to get that pretty smile back on her face “Lola I..”

“I-I’m gonna go and get ready now. I’ll see you in a bit okay Rafe,” She gave her another fake smile before walking back inside.

“Fuck,” He muttered rubbing his face out of frustration with himself.

The whole time Rafe felt like he thought he knew what she wanted. She had even asked to just be friends after this. He didn’t want to overstep and tell her the real reason why he wants to give all this up. It was because of Lola, he wants her by his side. He liked the way she made him feel and he loved the person he brought out in her. He loved protecting her from people who don’t deserve her.

Lola was beginning to think her plan was going to end horribly. Especially after what he had said. She felt like things were maybe going somewhere with him. She has had more fun the whole week than she’s had her whole life. And she knows it’s because she’s had him by her side.

She looked over herself in the mirror. She felt hot, she felt like she could go through with her plan to seduce Rafe. Yet it wasn’t enough because that voice was still in her head telling her that he doesn’t like want her more than a friend. Or even possibly more than a client. Her outfit consisted of a black mini skirt and olive green long sleeve that had a small pink bow in the middle of the square neckline. She also wore black boots that made her legs look longer, her makeup and hair were done. She felt amazing on the outside but on the inside her insecurities were starting to take over her thoughts.

Rafe had been in the shower while she changed into her outfit. They hadn’t spoken much since he came back to the room. Things seemed a bit tense, a sort of unspoken tension between them.

Lola was switching purses to one that would better match her outfit when Rafe opened the door to the bathroom. He stepped out in nothing but a light blue towel around his waist. His chest and stomach still slightly damp from the hot shower. He had been looking down at his phone. Lola looked up at him from where she stood and gulped at his appearance. He was not making this easy.

“What should I wear? I’m guessing polos and khakis is the bar dress code,” He smirked putting his phone down and going to his side of the closet to look through the shirts he brought. He glanced back at her and stopped skimming through his shirts. He wished she didn’t look so incredible, how was he supposed to spend the night away from her when she looked like that.

He looked her over his eyes moving slowly taking in every detail, “You look unreal,” he said once he met her eyes.

Lola gave him a shy smile as a blush creeped up her neck, “Thank you, and uh you should just wear a button up and some black pants. Casual but nice.”

He just nodded his head only half paying attention. Rafe couldn’t concentrate when she was standing across the room looking like his future wife. He snapped out of his thoughts at the word wife. She was really doing something to him if he was thinking about marriage. He looked through his shirts and decided on a green jacket and black carhartt pants. Grabbing his clothes he went back into the bathroom to change.

Lola felt like she could breathe again. Having to watch the muscles in his back flex as he grabbed his shirt was too much. Especially since his skin was sun kissed from the day before she just wanted to run her hands all over him. He walked out of the bathroom and she clenched her fists. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“You look handsome,” Lola said as she started to think about all the women that would get to see Rafe tonight. Jealousy took over her as she thought about how she couldn’t be by his side all night to show people that he was with her.

“Thank you sweetheart.” She was going to kill him.

“Alright lets go,” She sighed and began walking out the door.

“I’m not going go drink tonight so I can drop you off and even pick you up,” Rafe said following behind her.

“Okay, you decided on not drinking?”

“Yeah I just don’t really feel like being drunk with a bunch of people I don’t know. I also want to make sure you’re safe,” He shrugged and opened the front door for her.

Lola turned to him before walking out the door. Standing almost toe to toe, he was much taller than her. She was feeling intimidated but she tried her best not to show it. But like always he could read her so easily. He could see the her fingers twitch and her breathing pick up a little more.

“You’re kind of frustrating Mr. Cameron,” She said with a sigh, her eyes squinting teasingly at him.

“What am I doing?” He asked pretending to be clueless.

She ignored him not wanting to answer him, “Come on we can’t be late.”

The drive there was comfortable quiet. The tense atmosphere from earlier now gone. Rafe pulled into a parking lot on the main street and parking. He had been struggling since he first saw Lola. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

There were a lot of people on the main street going to the different shops, restaurants, and bars. It was a popular area in the summer. Rafe walked around her to walk on the side closest to the street, and hgrabbed her hand so he wouldn’t lose her in the throngs of people.

“Where are we going?” He asked her following her lead.

“The girls are going to Porter’s and the guys are going to Birdie’s. Porter’s is right there,” She pointed at a bar a few shops down, “And then Birdies is across the street.” She pointed at another bar on the other side of the street.

“Ah so we’re close to each other,” Rafe smirked liking the idea that she’d be close by in case she needed anything.

“Mhmm I think all the girls are there already.”

“If you want to leave early for any reason call me okay? I’ll be right over,” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Okay Rafe,” She smiled. Once they got to the front of the bar the bridesmaids immediately spotted them since they were all sitting on the patio out front.

“My favorite couple!” Penny shouted as she saw the pair walk up.

“Took you guys long enough. I wonder what you guys were doing that made you laaaate,” Tabitha said teasingly.

“Tabi!” Lola exclaimed.

Penny turned to Rafe, “Hurry and let your girl go so we can get drunk!”

“Alright alright,” Rafe said and turned Lola to face him. He cupped her cheek, “call if you need anything. Have fun and be safe.”

“Always,” She said breathlessly because his eyes kept going down to her lips. She knew what was coming and she couldn’t be more excited.

Rafe leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips, he didn’t want to do too much since they were in public but he wanted to show everyone that this was his girl. He pulled away only to go in one more time, she smiled against his lips.

“Rafe,” She laughed pushing him away playfully.

“Sorry babe couldn’t help myself,” He shrugged with a lopsided smile that made her want to kiss him a million more times.

“I’ll see you later,” She squeezed his hand before pulling away to walk onto the patio.

“Bye,” He waved at her and all the other girls who had been watching them.

“Byyye,” They all said in synch with laughs

Tabitha turned to Lola as she sat down next to her, “Girl that man is obsessed with you.”

“I really hope so,” She laughed. The girls not knowing the way she really meant it.

“Okay ladies lets drink!” Penny said clapping her hands, “Tonight in honor of me we’re having tequila!”

“This is going to be the best night!” Olivia laughed excitedly.

Rafe arrived to the bar the guys were at, he walked inside and spotted the group around a table in the back. He walked over and Harry immediately spotted him.

“Rafe! Dude you made it,” Harry said getting up to greet him.

“Of course, just had to drop off Lola.” Rafe walked over to the empty seat between Mateo and Josh. Thomas say directly in front of him.

“Hey what’s up man,” Josh greeted followed by the rest of them Thomas only nodding at Rafe to not some completely rude. Rafe found it amusing how much he pissed Thomas off. He liked it.

“I’m gonna go get another round. What are you drinking Rafe?” Josh asked him.

“uh just water, I’m driving tonight.”

“Shoulda ubered man.”

It was nearly midnight now and Rafe wanted to leave. He had bern having a good time for a while but now all the guys were pretty drunk and he just wanted to be with Lola. He hadn’t heard from her all night which he took as a good sign. The guys were playing pool now, some of the single grooms men were flirting with some women at the bar.

“You ever miss that?” Harry asked him as he lined up his stick with the white ball.

“What? Flirting?”

He nodded his head, “Yeah like picking up girls at bars.”

Rafe shook his head, “Not at all. I like Lola a lot.”

“I feel the same about Penny. Guess it’d be bad if I didn’t since we’re getting married,” He laughed patting Rafe on the back.

“You guys are sooo whipped,” Thomas laughed.

“And what about it?” Harry slurred.

Thomas shrugged his hooded eyes meeting Rafes, “The same boring girl forever? The same average pussy forever? noooo thanks.”

“I’m convinced you’ve never actually talked to a woman. I think you just like women who don’t like you,” Rafe shook his head with a smirk.

“Hey all girls love me. Look at me,” He stood straighter and smirked. Rafe wanted to hysterically laugh but he held it in. He started to feel a vibrating in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and saw Lola’s name across the screen.

“Saved by the bell,” He said before walking away to a quieter area, “Hello?”

“Rafeyyyy,” Lola sang on the other end of the line.

He shook his head with a fond smile on his lips, “This is him. What’s up sweetheart?”

“I’m ready to go Rafey. I wanna see you,” She said breathlessly.

For the last few hours the girls had moved to inside the bar where they drank too many shots of tequila and danced. Penny even did karaoke at some point. Lola was actually enjoying herself and she might have enjoyed it too much. She was definitely drunk by now which meant her plan to seduce Rafe sounds like a very good plan.

“God he’s just so hot,” Lola said her chin resting in her palms as she leaned on the bar. She was currently talking to the bartender and Tabitha.

“He is incredibly hot,” Tabitha agreed, “You should see him, he’s like one of those stone statues of the guys with the abs.”

Lola laughed loudly, “he does look like that. Beautiful. You know he’s a really good kisser.” Her brain started to get even fuzzier as she thought of the kisses from earlier.

“Call him girl, get your man.” Tabitha encouraged as shebsaw the look in her cousin’s eyes.

“I will,” That’s when she had decided to call him and let him take her home.

“You’re drunk huh?” He asked with a teasing tone.

She faked a gasp, “I would want to see you even if I weren’t drunk thank you very much. Especially when wow,” She sighed dreamily, “Especially when you look the way you do tonight.”

Rafe had quickly and quietly bid goodbye to the guys as he all but sprinted out of there to get Lola. He knew she was drunk and he didn’t want her to go outside by herself.

“I’m coming sweetheart, did you have fun?”

“Very much of it,” She smiled to herself.

“I’m outside now,” He as as he was getting closer.

She squealed, “Coming!” She hung up the phone and ran outside before Rafe could even made it to the walkway up to the bar doors.

She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him tightly, “Missed you.” Lola nuzzled her head into his neck breathing in the smell of his cologne.

“I missed you,” He had hugged her back and was stroking her hair with one of his hands, “Let’s get you home babe.”

“Kiss?” She asked looking up at him with those doe eyes. How could he say no? He was eager to do anything for her, to please her. He was there to fulfill all her needs how could he ever deny her?

“anything for you,” He mumbled leaning down and kissing her. He wanted it to be a soft kiss but when her fingers went into his hair and tugged him closer he couldn’t hold back. She kissed him hard and he was of course going to reciprocate. Their lips moved together in perfect synch yet a little messily. She wanted him and it wasn’t just because she was drunk.

Rafe was reminded of what she had been doing earlier when he started tasting the tequila on her tongue. He pulled away and kissed one more time softly, “Let’s go home.”

She nodded her head in a dizzy trance. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Lola wrapped her arms around his waist and happily hummed. She was practically leaning her whole body weight on him and it wasn’t even phasing him.

“So how many shots did you take huh?”

“Ohhhh just a few. And a couple tequila sodas.” She laughed.

They reached his car and he helped get her in, making sure she didn’t hit her head. He buckled her in, she just watched him with a dopey smile. Rafe jogged over to his side.

The ride was once again filled with comfortable silence. Mostly because Lola had fallen asleep. Rafe heard her light snores and smiled to himself. Once they got back to the house Rafe rushed over to get her. He ended up having to find her house key and then carry her inside.

He was glad he didn’t drink tonight because he gets to spend the night taking care of Lola. Once he’s walking through their bedroom door the girl in his arms starts stirring awake. He laid her down on the bed as she opened her eyes. Squinting as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Rafe you brought me up,” She mumbled and sat up on the bed. The sleep had sobered her up a bit. Enough to remember to take her makeup off and brush her teeth.

“Of course I did. You need anything?” He sat next to her rubbing her back.

“I’m gonna wash my face,” She mumbled rubbing her eyes, “Can you get me water and ibuprofen please. It’s in the cupboard on the left of the fridge.”

“I’ll be back,” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her head. He went downstairs to get whatever she needed. Rafe also took it upon himself to make her a grilled cheese and bacon knowing she hadn’t eaten since earlier in the day. The greasy food will help her feel better in the morning.

Lola washed her face and brushed her teeth. Feeling more sober and clean. She hadn’t drank that much in a while and now that she was older it hit her harder and worse. She went to her dresser to look for pajamas. Her eyes lit up when they came across the small floral tank top and matching boy short underwear. They were long enough to be considered very short sleep shorts. The part of her brain that was still a little drink was screaming at her to pick that set.

Her plan from earlier coming back to her. She didn’t think twice and grabbed them going to change. Lola looked like she was barely wearing any clothes, just what she wanted. If Rafe felt something for her then he would make a move on her or not reject her if she tried first. And she was almost positive that he did feel something for her. She fixed her hair a bit and put on some more lotion and deodorant.

“I brought you food too,” Rafe said as he entered the room. When she heard him shut the door she stepped out of the bathroom.

He looked up at her and froze. There she was standing in front of him in practically nothing. His hands were itching to touch her. The curves of her body and her pretty bare face were doing too much to him.

He cleared his throat and looked away going back to pulling the covers back, “I uh made you a grilled cheese and some bacon.” He motioned to the food on her nightstand. She smiled at him and mumbled a thanks. Lola walked over to her side and sat on the bed.

As she ate Rafe put on a movie for her before he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. While he was gone Lola was giving herself a pep talk. She could do this, she’s almost 100% sure that he won’t reject her. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. She quickly finished her food before he came out and got herself ready adjusting her pajamas and her fixing her hair.

He stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but sweatpants. Lola took a deep breath as he sat down next to her.

“You feel better?” He asked looking over at her.

“Yeah I am, thanks for the food.” She turned to lay on her side, holding up her head on her hand.

He mimicked her position, “You’re welcome, how did your night go?”

“Hmmm it was good. The girls are crazy. I miss you though wish I had you by my side,” She said trying to give him her best puppy dog eyes.

Rafe swallowed hard, “Yeah? I missed you. What’s tomorrow’s plan?”

She shuffled closer to him, “Tomorrow we have family brunch and then rehearsal dinner. Then it’s the big day.”

He reached forward and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, “Easy last couple days then.”

She sighed deeply, “mhmm can I ask you a question?”

“Always.”

“So do you make all your clients feel like this?”

He tilted his head questioningly, “Like how?”

She shrugged looking at the white sheets under her, “Like they’re the only girl in the world.”

Rafe’s heart had started to pick up speed the closer she got. He didn’t know what game she was playing but it was a very dangerous one. He looked at the tv afraid that if he looked at her any longer he would do something he would regret.

“I think I like only making you feel that way,” He mumbled as he continued watching the movie.

“Rafe?” Lola asked in whisper.

“Yeah?” He finally turned to her and she was a lot closer than before.

Instead of answering him she cupped his face and leaned in kissing him softly. Slightly hesitant in case he didn’t want this, but then he cupped her face and pulled her in harder. She sighed satisfied with his response. Rafe felt like his lungs were going to explode, she was so suffocating in the best way. He grabbed her thigh and pulled it so that she was now on top of him. The very minimal clothes they had on made them be even closer.

Lola tugged on his hair as she arched her back slightly to get closer to him. Rafe ran his hands all over her, touching wherever her could. This was much better than he imagined. Yes they’d kissed a few times but it was never just them and it wasn’t like this.

When Rafe’s lips moved down to her neck he came to a realization. She had been drinking earlier and he’s pretty sure she’s at least tipsy still. He pulled away gently resting his forehead against hers.

He cleared his throat and quietly spoke up, “Sweetheart I can’t.”

Lola pulled away a little. Confusion taking over her features, “I-I thought you..” Her face flushed in humiliation. Had he read his body language wrong? Had she interrupted his words wrong?

“No no Lola I want to, but you’ve been drinking and I think you should be sober. I don’t sleep with drunk women,” Rafe tried to reassure but his last sentence made her nauseous.

She sat back farther, “But it’s me Rafe. It’s not some random client that paid for you.”

Rafe laughed softly not really reading the tension in the room. He thought she was just messing around, “Babe you paid for me.”

Lola rolled her eyes and got off of him, “Yeah you’re right, I’m really tired.”

“Lola,” Rafe said knowing something was wrong.

“Rafe I’m tired can we just not,” She mumbled as she tucked herself under the covers. Her back towards him so he couldn’t see her biting her quivering lip. Had Rafe just been doing all of this and acting this way because it was his job? She couldn’t blame him but Lola swore she saw something between them for just a split second.

Rafe watched her for a few seconds before turning off the lights and laying back. He had fucked it up somehow and he was going to do everything possible to make it up to her.

He had to fix it.

tags: @rosal1nd , @magicwithaknife , @f4ll-for-you, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @loveu-always , @weareatthebadlands

(if you would like to be tagged or removed let me know!)

(also if you already asked me & I missed you I am so sorry pls send another message)

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron x reader #rafe fic #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fluff #rafe imagine #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron x oc

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iwaasfairy · 2 years

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babes can i request something like what you did with brother tobio who only loves his sister and shes the only one for him 🥲 but with ushijima-nii please? (its the first ever incest ive read and its still my fav 😭) only if you like and you have the time i love you thank you!!!

a/n. of course of courseee this was very fun to write (。┰ω┰。) tw. incest, size kink, jealousy, semi-public

ushijima wakatoshi x reader

Your hands are a little shaky as you allow yours to be taken into his much larger palm, staring anywhere except across the room, where the stony expression feels zeroed in on you. It’s not Tendou’s fault that the way his long, pale fingers wrap around your hand feel dangerous enough to make you sick, but you can’t help but feel it anyway.

He’s gentle when he places a hand on your lower back, gentle when guiding you left to right in an attempt to make you relax a little. “You don’t like to dance? You’re so shaky.” Tendou’s bright voice is still cheerful as he tilts his head to the side. But you notice the way his eyes search your face for something, and by his expression, he doesn’t find it.

You can’t exactly explain it either, that you’re only this wooden and stiff because his tall, lanky shape is blocking your view from your big brother— and that… You think it though, and maybe that’s enough for Tendou to get the gist, because he glances over his shoulder. His mouth corners twitch at whatever he sees, and you’re entranced by the way he leans down to your ear to sigh. “I think that your niichan is calling you over.” His lips curl into a smile as he pulls back, gently pats your head. He looks back at you again after seeming to think it over, before ever so slowly, the smile falters a little.

“Am I going to be in trouble later?”

There’s something unspoken that lingers in the words. You think he might just know, and it makes your face a horrible few degrees hotter. Obvious as you are, you can only place your hands to your cheeks in the hopes that they cool down. And you allow yourself to squeeze Tendou’s hand once, before shaking your head. “No, I think I might be.” You blink, stomach dropping when you catch Toshi nii’s eyes for the first time since earlier tonight. He stares like he’s been looking the entire time, and knowing him, he might’ve been. “Later, Satori.”

You brush through the people before you can think about whether or not there will even be a later.

When you get to Wakatoshi, he’s still holding a beer bottle, and tilts it side to side in a motion that might be calming in any other context. You right your back, puff your chest forward a bit as you clench your hands together behind your butt. “You called for me, nii nii?” you softly ask, careful to phrase it gently. But the brunet doesn’t really look away from the spot in the crowd he’d been watching; only slowly breathes in and out.

The slow ticking of your internal clock with each breath makes you more anxious. So anxious in fact, that you start fidgeting with your skirt like a scolded child. “W-we were just- just dancing for a little while, ya’know? It wasn’t serious. Tendo was just keeping me company.” Wakatoshi finally looks at you when you fall quiet, chewing your lip as you try your best to read his face. He’s been quiet all week though, quiet and … well- weird. “Because you were talking to Semi,” you tack on the whisper, not daring to look away from him.

“I know,” your big brother mumbles back, almost too soft to hear it, before he puts the bottle onto the table to his side and stands up from his leaning position to his full height. Wakatoshi nii towered over you ever since you were old enough to remember, but for the first time in a long while, you’re awfully aware of it. Aware of how much bigger he is, and how you probably pissed him off. But where in the past he’d have just ignored you, looking past you with a slight frown— tonight he looks.

Looks so intently at your face that you’re unable to do anything but stare back, popping your lip in and from between your teeth. Swallowing every few seconds, until he puts you out of your misery by leaning down towards you. Toshi nii has never hurt you before, and you don’t want to think he would -ever— but you’d still sooner expect to get a tap across the face like your mom used to do, than for your stoic niichan to place his hand on the back of your skull and just keep you in place for him to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He lingers as he speaks, “come step out with me for a second,” before letting go.

The spot where his lips touched seems to radiate heat long after he’s pulled away, even when you reach up to touch it with wide eyes.

You follow him out of the room without another word, only stopping when he does under the street light outside the hall where his team is still celebrating. The blue-ish light casts a while halo around his fluffy hair, but casts a shadow to the floor where Wakatoshi seems to hesitate when he looks down at you. “You know I like talking to you,” he starts, deep voice unwavering as always— but something off in his expression, “talking to you is easy.”

“Of course,” you softly agree, “because I’m your sister… it’d feel easy.”

“I suppose,” Toshi nii agrees, slowly rubbing his hand over his neck. “Do you— ever think about me though? As a man.” The way his eyes meet yours have a sort of intensity you’ve never seen before, and you lock your sweaty hands together instantly. You open your mouth to respond, but he is quicker. “Because I think of you as a woman a lot. I think you’re beautiful, and I enjoy our time together. When you talk to other men, I don’t like it, and I want you to talk to me instead.”

He talks like what he’s saying makes sense, but you’re unable to stop him. “I think I get jealous when you’re not around me.”

“Stop,” you whisper, as Wakatoshi steps closer and tilts your face up to him.

“I hate seeing you smile at someone else, or talk to someone else.” He doesn’t falter, doesn’t even pause— always with that same stubborn determination that’s gotten him the farthest in life. His hazel eyes flick around your face as you grab his wrist for support, and bite your lip and whine out his name. What the hell are you supposed to do with that?! “I want you—”

“Niichan, you’re not making any sense-” you snap, watching his cheeks dust with the softest pink; as you realize he’s serious. He’s serious, and you are falling, like you’re sinking through the floor into his arms.

“I love you,” he stubbornly admits, stepping right up to you so your toes are touching, and wrapping an arm around your back. He stays like that, covering you from the cold and the dark like he always had before; breathing in slowly but surely. And it hits you that the reason why you’re about to cry at the look in his eyes, is because you always kind of knew. You knew that when he’d go out of his way to walk you back from class with an umbrella held over your head, it was out of love. That the way he’d nuzzle his face into your shirt at late nights talking, and the beautiful way his laugh would fill your room up— that it was a rare thing.

Or when he called you late after practice, without anything in particular to say. Or how he’d put you on his shoulders, so careful not to drop you. How he’d only ever talk back to your mom when she’d comment on how close you are, how co-dependent. It hits you all at once that he always felt this way, and just didn’t have the words to express it. And it hits you that you never got over your stupid childhood crush on your niichan— that you just didn’t want to say the words. It makes you lean into him with a sniffled realization of guilt, as his hands move to wrap around your cheeks like you’re made of glass. “I love you,” he whispers again, letting a small smile come to his lips. “Is that okay?”

“You can’t tell anyone,” you say back, and swallow when his face comes closer and closer to yours.

But Wakatoshi nii only hums, “I haven’t told anyone except you.” And then you feel the heat of his face near yours and close your eyes, and a pair of lips come over yours. Softly at first, before you grab the front of his shirt and pull him in harder, suddenly overrun with emotion. It makes him grab your ass, pull you closer to his body and slip a tongue into your mouth that tastes sweet and bitter all at once. You can’t help but moan when he sucks on your tongue and kisses you so good it makes you forget- before pulling back to look at you.

His hazel browns are blown out and lips flushed pink from the kiss, as he groans. “You have no idea how often I had to stop myself from wanting this. I want you. I want to have you all to myself—”

“Then have me,” you surprise yourself by what comes out, how pitched and desperate you sound as you try to catch your breath. But it’s all Wakatoshi nii needs to squeeze your cheeks and dip back down to kiss you harder, tasting you and licking and sucking- making you feel scorching hot from top to bottom. His strong hands knead in your ass, before sliding under your thighs to pick you up against his body in one fell swoop, without disconnecting from you. He only pulls back to let out a groan as your center rubs against him where you lock your legs, pushing his head into your neck.

“It’s not fair that I had to escape to the bathroom for a cold shower any time you walked around the house. Should’ve done this so much sooner.”

“Please.” You shiver as he runs a hand up your belly to pull your bra aside and grab a handful, before groaning against your lips as you whimper for another kiss. He rubs your nipple as you rub your crotches together for more friction, only making him more impatient in the process. But you’re just the same, because you can feel our panties start to get awfully wet at the feeling of his dick hardening in his pants. “Niichan, we’re still in public,” you whine out though, back wanting to curl as he pinches your puffy nipples so good.

“Then hurry to my car,” Wakatoshi bites out, barely able to put you down to start searching his back pocket for his car keys with fire burning behind his eyes. “Hurry in. I’ve wanted to slide my cock into that little cunt of yours for so fucking long— I need it now.” You don’t need to be told twice when he pulls you back again to kiss you hard and deep, before pulling you towards the car park on long legs.

#haikyuu smut #haikyuu #hq smut #ushijima smut #ushijima x reader #🍯honey.pot #💫ch.ushijima #tw.incest #tw.public

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seldomscilence16 · 6 months

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Whumptober day 30:

"It's okay just to say 'I'm not okay'."

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | "Not much Longer…."

Fandom: Bat Family

Prompts used: All

Ive been reading dpxdc but am not confident yet, so heres some OOC Bats, based mostly on Wayne Family Adventures, tried angsting some new people for once! I have only read Duke in WFA so hes probably the most OOC forgive me. But let me know, Id love to hear from ya'll on any of my posts :)

TW for blood and injuries, near death experiences

…

"I am never letting you talk me into this again."

Tim glares at the far wall, hanging by his feet, arms tied to his chest. He's in civvies, and his brothers WILL owe him a new outfit after this.

"Oh come on, you were the perfect bait!" Jason's voice comes through the comm, barely holding back his snickers.

"Hush Little-Wing. I'll take you to your favorite coffee place- at a reasonable time- to make up for it BabyBird." Dicks voice is far more sympathetic and even tinged with the anxiety that comes with seeing his brothers in harm's way.

"Then Jay owes me a new outfit." He murmurs a tad petulantly.

"TT, I still think we should have snuck in instead of this, convoluted, plan."

"That would have been fine if we had known where they were located, hence this plan." Duke yawns as he finishes his sentence, pulling a double shift for this case.

"Next time, someone else can be the hostage." Tim grumbles as a headache grows with all the blood rushing to it.

"Whatever you say Timmy." Jason placates mockingly.

"Is anyone else concerned about how long they've left Red Robin alone?" Barbara's exasperated voice comes through the comms, bringing everyone back.

"The lack of blood in my legs should definitely be considered." Tim comments, swinging slightly to try and look around.

"Well, it looks like everyone is-"

"Leaving the building!" Duke cuts Dick off, Jason curses,

"Looks like we got some rats to catch!" He calls, leaping from his hiding spot before the others could react.

"Hang in there Tim, we'll be back!"

"I regret my existence."

"TT is that all?" Damian is a millisecond behind Jason, Dick and Duke give each other an eye roll of comradery, before they are following.

They put up a fight. Seemingly desperate to escape- though it's not super odd- they seem more scared of not being able to leave than of the Bats themselves.

"Not much longer…" The anxious mutter comes from the goon closest to Signal.

He’s quick to pin him, nerves flying in his gut, telling him that they were missing something important.

“Until what?” He pulls his best Batman voice, tired gravel helping him hopefully.

Pinned against the building, Signal doesn’t really need an answer from the goon, the light gives him a glimpse of exactly what he needs to know, but the answer comes anyway,

“B-bomb...”

“Guys, we’ve got a situation! I’m going in for T- the hostage!” Duke catches himself throwing the guy to the nearest Bat, “Find the bomb!” He dashes into the building.

“A bomb?” Tims voice groans, “I am owed several coffees, thank you.”

“Maybe focus on not blowing up first?” Duke's voice is strained, not yet so nonchalant with these types of threats.

“The goons are ready for transport, we’re headed to the device, just stay calm Duke.” Dicks voice is level, and Duke takes a breath to match it.

Tim is partway untied, having been working on it since he’d been hooked, his face is flushed but he gives a lopsided grin- likely to comfort Duke.

“Signal, my man, come to hang out?”

“Har har, let's get you down.”

He steadies him as his feet touch the ground, head spinning and body reorienting, they haven’t even taken a step yet when the whole building shakes, rickety floors and creaky walls groaning with the effort.

“Uh, guys?” Duke cautions, worry skyrocketing again.

“Time to move!”

Duke doesn't need to be told twice, he scoops Tim into his arms with a grunt and finds himself sprinting once more.

“Blushing bride was not on my list.” He mumbles, hand holding his head as the other tires to keep him stable.

“Don't worry, sure it doesn't count when the blood had no other option.”

“You’d be surprised.”

The floor is crumbling as another tremor wracks the old bones of the place. He makes the decision to find the nearest window, taking the Bat route out, and sending a prayer to whoever listened that they all made it out.

“You’re ok… ‘s good…” Blood is a second skin, Jason's jacket torn to shreds as glass and wood alike protrude from his body.

“Todd.. you're…” Damian looks up at the unhooded vigilante, minor damage to himself as he see the crushing weight his brother keeps off him.

“Relax kid… Won't die frem the same ting twice.”

“Jay! Damian!” Dick coughs, the bloody hero shoving at the beams across Jays back until the two can get free. “Are you guys okay?”

“S’fine, lets get baby brat outta here.” The slur comes and goes from his tone, whether from a given effort or otherwise they can't tell. Shifting nearby has them tensing, before a light shines at them,

“Oh thank the Gods.” Duke is dusty but unharmed, moving debris ever so carefully to give them a path out.

“M’place s’closest.” Jason murmurs, leaning heavily on Damian who hadnt moved from his side.

“I can not carry you Todd, stay awake.” The youngest mutters despite his stance.

“M-“

“It's okay just to say ‘I’m not okay’.” Duke interrupts quickly, taking the lead as Dick takes the rear.

“...could be better.” He concedes.

“You are not this much bigger than me. How?” Tim swims in the borrowed shirt and sweats, as does Damian, but neither seems keen to take them off either as they plop onto Jason's couch.

In the kitchen, Duke, Jason and Dick patch each other up carefully, channeling Alfred as best they can until they decide the trip is worth it. Jason grits his teeth as another stitch pierces his skin, Dick muttering a thousand quiet apologies in several languages. Duke keeps his eyes on his own job, if for nothing else than to keep from cringing and hurting Dick.

“We’re bringing the girls next time. This never happens when they're around.” Tim grumbles, ice pack on his face.

“I beg to differ.” Dick mutters.

“Is night shift always like this?” Duke ties off his last bandage and goes about cleaning up.

“Meh.” He gets several, so so hand gestures and a tutt and groans to himself.

“We’re alive, goons apprehended, I'm calling it a win.”

#whumptober 2023 #no.30 #Its okay just to say i'm not okay.#lyric #borrowed clothing #bridal carry #“Not much longer...”#dc universe #batfam #fic #blood mentions #injuries #near death situations #angst #jason todd angst #tim drake angst #damian wayne angst #duke thomas angst #found family

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pluto-glow · 1 year

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I've been meaning to ramble about this for a while oops but me and one of my partners worked on an rvb au based on this art We don't exactly have an official name for it- we've called it rvb ai swap au and rvb freelancer fix-it since a lot of the freelancer's ai's were swapped around and we added a lot more ai's and freelancers and it kinda fixed somethings? But also fucked up some other stuff so ya know

But the ai swap that started this entire au was North and South getting Eta and Iota. North got Eta since Eta's associated emotion was fear, so that just ended up with North taking on even more of a caretaker kinda role for Eta. South got Iota who's associated emotion is happiness. The Director saw how well North and South worked together and when Eta and Iota formed together, he wanted to see if giving them to the twins would help North and South work even better together than they already were. And it honestly does kinda work, North takes care of Eta so some of his anxiety and worry about South has an outlet, and Iota helps South have more fun.

But where does Theta go if they don't end up with North? In this au North gives up Theta to Maine instead of Carolina giving up Sigma and I love Theta and Maine being paired up so much you have no idea. Theta helps Maine with communication and Theta figures out a way for some of the Freelancers to learn sign language so Maine can talk to people more directly. Maine also gets protective of Theta after a while which helps Theta a lot when they get scared at night. Maine doesn't have as many headaches from Theta as he did from Sigma either.

Wash still gets Epsilon, but the Director and Counselor figured that implanting an AI who's associated trait is literally memory directly could end up with Wash knowing more about the program than he should- so they did something closer to when Epsilon/Church was in that mongoose I think it was? He's in Wash's armor, can project and all that, can still access the armor, but can't access in Wash's head. It makes the 2 of them communicating a lot harder, but it also means that Epsilon being implanted doesn't fuck up Wash's head so-

One of the non-canon Freelancers that I've been working on for this au is Maryland. She's easily distracted a bit of a major klutz, and can get pretty social anxious, but she's one of PF's best snipers. She gets paired with Kappa who helps her with focus. Honestly helps with focus a little too much. Kappa doesn't see the point in doing anything that doesn't have to do with Project Freelancer, but Maryland still likes to relax when she gets the chance. They but heads a lot when it comes to when to work and when to relax, but they still work pretty well together. Maryland's armor upgrade is a rations pack, it holds everything from water to ration bars to fluids that can be injected through an IV if needed.

Now I know Temple isn't exactly a Freelancer and he hates them but- Temple is supposed to be Church's counter part, right? So why not make Temple an AI. Temple was originally an AI named Tau, he's the Alpha's want for revenge. The Director and Counselor figured that having an AI around who just wanted revenge on them would be a bad idea, so they shipped him off to a sim trooper canyon and made up this fake backstory for him that his name was actually Mark Temple and he had signed up for Blue Team, and did the best they could to make sure that Tau didn't remember Project Freelancer. But if Temple was really an AI then what about Biff? Biff was actually a Freelancer sent there to watch Temple like what Florida was originally supposed to be for Church. Biff didn't really know a ton about the "memories" Temple had, but Biff had to go along with them anyways. The Director and the Counselor decided they liked how the experiment with Tau/Temple went, so they ended up trying the same thing with the Alpha when the time came

We have a lot more than this- the google doc we made for the AU is like 60 pages? But this is just some of the main characters I've worked on

#rvb #rvb au #rvb ai swap au #rvb freelancers #powdery rambles #powdery writing #powder talks

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girlwithfish · 5 months

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hes texting kinda dry im scared lmfao 🫡i hate mixed signals and i realized im nervous n shit abt him flaking on me cus its what my ex did to me four yrs ago, first guy i really ever liked and i was so infatuated and he ghosted me after the first date if u remember then friendzoned me and then kinda gave mixed signals for two yrs where hed be flirty say he liked me didnt date me would only respond when he feels like it Lolol its whatever it was so long ago but i realized im terrified of that happening to me again bc this is the second guy ive truly ever liked bc all my flings and hookups were just superficial and i never actually liked anyone so its just scary being in this vulnerable place where im into someone nd idk how they feel. i cant tell if hes giving me mixed signals or im just interpreting it weird. he was really nice in person not like overly affectionate or clingy but hed do small gestures of affection which was sweet kinda made me swoon. scared i slept w him too fast i got too horny bc i liked him a lot as a person and then just c*ddling made me horny when i like someone and theyre nice to me and are physically affectionate i wanna have sex w them 👍lmao. like he seemed into me irl i even told him i was anxious n stuff abt it and he said id know if he didn't like me (not the best answer...) but was saying he did a lot and hes saying hes not using dating apps rn since were kinda dating and he would make jokes about me n him and the cat beingna family like just flirty shit like that so i thought he was Into me and he said next time i come i shld bring my switch and he downloaded fortnite on his laptop and set it up next to his desk so we can play duos together another time IDK? maybe im overthinkjng ygh and i dont wanna come off as too clingy or anxious #disorganized attachment style. its like i enjoyed and appreciated how open we were when talking about relationships and love in general and attachment and stuff but that stuff is just talking about it in Theory or past things like all this shit in practice makes me so anxious to actually express or feel or experience and i dont wanna come off a certain way ik im overthinking it a lot cuz i actually like him so i want him to like me this is badddd. it is trew he was a lot more flirty and engaged when we were texting before the date and after hes been a lil dry its making me scared lol. ill prob just ask 🫡its the big girl thing to do

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wolf-gutz · 2 years

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Max/TransM!Reader Chapter 1

An - sorry for dissapearing again lol, i got really depressed and didnt feel like writing, but ive hotten back into a bit !! heres a four chapter Max fic because literaly no one ever writes about him, cmon people 😭

Cw: smutty vibes but no actual smut, violence and slight mention of gore

About - basically you end up joining the cult, yes, i was extremly lazy with making up a reason lmao. it follows the movie except *spoiler* Max doesnt die. Max is horn knee the whole time

Words - 1182

continue under the cut <3

Bee came in with the shots, handing one to me and one to Cole. she was our, quote unquote babysitter, even though i didn’t need one since I was almost 17. Bee was a close friend of mine though, so I didn’t mind it much.

It smelt like she had mixed vodka with Baileys, which I hated both, so when she left to go pour herself a shot, we both hurriedly dumped ours out into the nearby plant.

“Oh, you did it without me” She pouted, before taking her own. I yawned and stretched, and Cole yawned as well, for whatever reason.

“Alright Coley, time for bed, I let you stay u an extra half hour, so shoo now. Im probably gonna go to sleep soon anyways Y/N.” She said, putting her hands on his shoulders and turning him around towards the stairs.

“Thats fine, Im tired as fuck anyways.”

Bee smiled, sitting herself over on the couch as me and Cole headed upstairs.

Truthfully, I wasnt actually that tired, but I just wanted some space, it had been quite chaotic, and sometimes a guy just needs time alone to read some horny fanfiction.

A couple hours in, I heard some commotion downstairs, then Cole softly knocking on my door. I opened up it and was about to ask what he was still doing awake, before he shushed me, grabbing my hand.

He pulled me down to his level and put one finger over my lips, whispering to me.

“Bee has people over, like, a lot. Theyre all playing truth or dare and stuff, wanna cpme watch?” He said, giggling to himself.

I nodded, going along with it just out of boredom, and we sat at the top of the stair case, watching them.

There was five other people sitting in a circle with Bee.

Max, a buff jock who I had a huge crysh on for the past two years, though I doubted he was into guys.

Allison, the head cheerleader. I didn’t know much about her other than she had a kind of bimbo, bratty personality.

Jon, who I had only talked to a few times. He was funny and pretty chill, the kind of guy to let you smoke his weed occasionally without paying him back.

Sonya, who was a sort of gothic crazy chick. I heard that she went mad and almost killed one of her exs, but honestly I could care less since she was nice to me and SUPER pretty.

And Samuel. Samuel was a surprise, since he wasnt exactly the type of person Bee would hang around. He was a huge nerd, and anxious as all hell, but he seemed to be having fun.

The bottle landed on Bee who chose dare, and Max dared her too make out with everyone in the circle.

She gave a simple kiss too Max, which I wouldve done much more in her situation but anyways. She full ass made out with Allison, licked Johns face leving him upset, and gave a kiss on Sonyas forehead, Sonya levaing a kiss on hers.

Then it came time for Samuel, but he seemed extremly nervous. When Bee crawled over to him, he stood up, Bee following suit, and they seemed to all try and convince him it would be fine, though it was hard to hear what they were saying.

He eventually gave in, the two embracing in a kiss. Bee pulled back, and Samuel looked at her with a slight smile, before she pulled out two daggers, planting them right into his skull.

What the fuck.

He let out a bloodcurdling scream, and something about a porpoise, as Bee stuck the daggers in further, stuttered chokes escaping Samuels mouth.

Blood slowly trickled down from the wounds, as the others gathered around Bee with goblet looking cups.

“Is everyone ready?” I heard her ask, and all the members excitedly said yes, tilting their cups towards his head.

Bee yanked the daggers out, and the blood started to flow into Sonya, Max, and Allisons cups, as Bee grabbed her own. John wasn’t getting any, and said something that seemed like he was complaining about it, before getting sprayed in the face and soaked in Samuels blood.

Jon made a grossed out sound, desparatley trying to wipe the blood from his face, Bee saying something back to him.

I left after that, I had seen enough. I tried to tell Cole to run as well, but he wouldn’t move, so I left him behind. Bee wouldnt hurt him, and I felt like I was going to puke.

After a bit, I heard Coles door shut, and only a few minutes later footsteps. They were going up the steps, most likely to one of our rooms.

“-were gonna do with Cole, but what about his brother?” I heard Max ask. He sounded right outside of my door.

“He should be knocked out, but you can do whatever if you like. Just don’t hurt him.” Bee said, walking away.

“I would never.” Max laughed, and my door started opening. I rushed to put my headphones on, and pulled out my phone, pretending I was on it.

I gave Max a shocked look when he came into my room, and he looked surprised.

“Uh, sorry, thought you were asleep, Bee just wanted me to grab something.” He said, smiling, his demeanor immediately switching.

“Uh? Your Max, right? Why are you shirtless?” My chest felt tight, but in a kind of good way.

“A friend needed it. And yeah, your Y/N, right?” He chuckled, and I nodded.

He sat down on my bed and leaned towards my face.

“Your a lot cuter up close y’know.”

I kind of just froze, I knew he was flirty wuth everyone, but it still made me feel nice.

“Damn, you shouldve joined us earlier when we were playin truth or dare, you would’ve made things funnnn.” He laughed.

“Ah- us?” I asked.

“Yeah, Bees just got some friends over Y’know, you seem like the kind of person we could hang out with. You got something that you want so badly, you’d kill for it?” He said, leaning in closer, his hand on one of my thighs.

“Uh, weird question but… yeah, kind of.” I said. I had a dream to became a world famous actor, but I wasnt exactly the best at acting, and I couldn't seem to get any teaching for the life of me, since my parents found it stupid. I would kill for that honestly. I'd kill for a lot. I was kind of selfish, but I didn't mind.

“What if I said, you could do that, with us? I’d have to ask Bee, but I think she'd be down. Plus, Id want a cute face on our side like yours. Allisons hot, but she never shuts her mouth, and Sonyas a psycho bitch, but you on the other hand….”

“Uh me? Haha.” I nervously laughed, and he suddenly pulled back.

“So what do you say?”

“S… sure I'll join I guess, I have nothing better to do.”

“Cool, cool. Are you a virgin?”

“UHM. A little straight forward haha, but yeah.”

“Good, good. Were collecting Coles blood, but I guess we could use yours if anything goea wrong” He laughed at his own joke.

“Haha…. maybe.” I laughed nervously.

we sat in silence for a second, me pretending to be busy, as Max eyed me up and down.

“Hey, Im already shirtless and evereyone else is busy, why dont we?” Max asked, leaning back towards me.

“I- i uh…. why don't we what?

“Listen, I know you got a little crush on me and your cute enough.”

“I’m just surprised your uh… into me….” I stuttered a little, turning off my phone and setting it to the side, finally getting what he meant.

“Your a cute nerd, who wouldn’t?” He grabbed my fave harshly, pulling it towards his.

I made a soft whimpering sound, closing my legs, trying not to stare down at his abs.

“Ahh, th- thanks.” I barely finished my sentence before he pulled me into a kiss, grabbing at the back of my head.

He dragged one of his legs over till he was on top of me, still aggressivley making out, soft moans escaping from both of us. He reached his other hand underneath my shirt and grabbed my back, holding me tight to him.

I went for it and ran one of my hands across his abs, pulling appart from the kiss for a second so I could breath.

As i panted, he tilted my head, licking up my neck before giving me a soft bite and sucking on my neck, leaving a huge hickey, before leaving another, and another, and another. Moans escaped my lips as I desparatley tried to hide how horny this was making me, but when I looked down I could see how hard he was through his pants.

I decided to take the chance and slid my hands towards his pants, putting my fingers around the waistband before sliding them over to the button of his pants, slowly undoing it as he continued to mark on my neck.

#max the babysitter #max #the babysitter #horror movie #the babysitter max #slasher #horror #movie #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #max fanfiction #fanfic author #male reader #trans masc reader #trans reader #trans reader smut

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goremet-chef · 4 months

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HONESTLY? the one thing i AM excited for when we do our christmas thing (on the 29th) is that my niece is gonna be there. i LOOOOOVE HER TO BITS shes so cute shes 4 and she calls me he most the time based on pure confusion alone which is a good thing, but thats not the only reason!!!

for the longest time me and my younger sibling (we're like a year apart) were the babies of the family 😭 we went 16 years without anyone new and then my niece was born and honestly. likeG RRGR this is such a good thing because now SHES the baby and theres less focus on me im. SO HAPPYY like it was for QUITE A WHILE i guess me being 15 when all my family is pretty old made it that way but like. i genuinely think most the attention will be on her so. thanks gurl i appreciate you

also i might have another niece soon??? if everything goes well 🥳 she should be due in january or february. i wonder what she'll be like? my niece is so sillay to me and honestly its like.

im thankful that im breaking the cycle in some way, my family is VERY emotionally repressed and unhelpful like. my sister told me she'd beat my ass if i ever cut myself. i GET IT because shes had a history with that sort of thing, shes trying to scare me out of it so the INTENT is well, but the way she approached it absolutely was not 💀 like the vibe is just. i share more about my mental health with my friends then i ever would with my family cuz it makes me so viscerally uncomfortable

but i hope i can be good to her. i remember she wanted to draw with me and i pulled out all my color pencils for her and we drew and she felt sad that her flower wasnt as good as mine (shes FOUR i dont blame her 😭 it was still so cute to me regardless) and me and my sister told her like hey!! its alright that its different, if you practice more you'll get better and who cares!! you should love yr flower because you made it, its your flower and she felt better 😭💞 WAHHHH i love her sm

i like to bother her cuz shes MEAN TO ME SOMETIMES she calls me stinky and bullies me alright you are FOUR YEARS OLD i will literally pick you up and spin you like a pizza dont test me!!! idk its. something in me i get like cuteness aggression almost, like id treat her the way i treat my CAT if it wasnt socially. awkward but ill just like poke her or pat her head like IDK how to describe? it gives me the satisfaction that petting a cat would even if she doesnt care that much its like my way of showing her i care or somethn. shes 4 so it probably doesnt matter to her but. little things!!! also we hug when we say goodbye now which makes me happy its not that she didnt want to before its just that. shes very small of course and me and my younger sibling are the tallest in our immediate family AND i wear all black i look tired im quiet like. i used to scare her 😭

she used to REALLY love me when she was a baby (huge relief for me cuz im always scared of babies and making them cry on accident or something) and then we had a quiet period because i was too socially awkward to like. I KNOW SHES JUST A KID but i get anxious anyways cuz im still TALKING TO A PERSON.. but im better at it now cuz i know her. ive really never been around any kids at all since like i said, we were the youngest for a while, SO. this is all pretty new to me but i love her anyways

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abbystoy · 6 months

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The arrival୨୧

it was a lovely silent night, no work, no stress, not anything. You were sitting on your bed listening to some music until u got a text from ellie

heyyy

it wasn't unusual for her to text you at night but it felt kind of different this time since she was still at work

hii baby how's work

U saw ellie typing something but then it'd disappear. U felt ur stomach tense up because of that, she usually answers quicker than the flash of light. The typing and stopping went on for 3 minutes until she finally replied

it's fine, how are ya love, did u eat something?

U felt kind of relieved because of her answer, you thought that something was serious because she kept on typing and erasing.

Yeah,I did infact eat sum and u? What'd u eat

Delivered.

That was weird.

15 minutes pass. no answer..

Another 15 minutes pass, still no answer.. you started to get anxious because she would never ignore u, would she?

40 minutes pass..

4+ notifications

fuck I'm sorry babe for not replying earlier something unexpected happened

replied to you (Yeah,I did infact eat sum and u? What'd u eat)

No I didn't eat hun ill just get smth from burgers king on my way home

babyyyy

did I upset u ml?

Im sorry for this sudden thing, I will tell u everything when I get home

I love you so much

When she texted you these you were blasting music thru your headphones to distract yourself from your thoughts cause that's what you'd always do. You heard some buzzes from your phone but u didn't spare a glance at it thinking it was from a useless app u had forgotten to delete.

30 minutes pass and still no ellie home. You decided to check your phone now and see if she texted u.

Ooh okay ellie, don't worry it's okay jus be safe, when are you coming back?

You replied to (I love you so much)

I love you more els pls come home I miss u already

And just when u hit send, that song started playing.

I am not the only traveller.. Who has not repaid his debt..

As the song went on images with you and ellie popped in your mind. How you and her would go to the beach and build sand castles and then ellie as a goofball destroying them, how'd she'd get u under the sand and force to stay in the until she made a mermaid tail at the end of your feet which you'd ofcourse giggle as she'd do,how she'd always make sure to get food from home even if u assured her that ud be fine, the way she'd untangle ur hair after getting out of the sea.

Ive been searching for a trail to follow again..

Oh take me back to the night we met.

You were so lost in your thoughts until u heard your phone ringing

"Elssss💍🩷" incoming call

You immediately picked up and rushed to talk first "Oh my gosh ellie I got so worried" was the first the u spat out

"Hey bun,don't worry about me you know I'm always safe, I just called to make sure u were okay and if u wanted me to pick up something from burgers king" Ellie said with some muffled voice from the backround that almost covered her own

"I don't need anything baby, thank you just drive safe on ur arrival" u quickly said "course I will princess, see you in 15" and with that the phone call ended and there you were, lost in the song's lyrics, reminding u how u met ellie at that local bar

And then I can tell myself..

What the hell am I supposed to do..

And then I can tell myself..

Not to ride along with you..

Before u could realize u were singing the lyrics, humming at some parts but mostly singing. One of the million things ellie loved about you, your voice. It'd calm her on her rainy days and replace those rainy clouds with the brightest sun in the universe. It would be like a lullaby to her, making her fall asleep whether it was on your chest or her pillow she had a strong preference for your chest.

15 minutes pass and u hear a ring, you basically trip over some chords and charges and even ur own the feet to open the door, u see ellie with a tired face but she always changed it when she saw ur little face

"Y/n, I missed u. Shit" Ellie said with the most tiring but expressive way possible as she hugged u tightly with the bags she held

"I missed u more,u can't imagine" u said as ud give her thousands of pecks on her cheeks and a big smooch on her lips, which ellie ofcourse accepted by rewarding it back to you.

"I got u some nuggies because I know u will get hungry later, so just incase babe. I always need to buy my princess something to eat" she said with a grin on her face as she kissed ur pretty face over and over again. It's like her duty to buy you something, if she doesn't she will fr explode.

"I love you els,so so much" u said while plastering kisses on her temples "I love u more babe" Ellie said "I will go undress and put my pajamas on and be right back" she said as she stroke ur hair and kissed ur head.

I had all and then most of you some and now none of you,

Oh take me back to the night we met..

SORRY IT WAS SHORT BUT ITS 1AM AND I GOT STUFF TO DO TOMORROW, HOPE U STILL ENJOYED THO🫶🏻🫶🏻

#ellie williams tlou2 #tlou2 ellie #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #i need her #tlou #tlou2 #Soft!ellie x reader

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caseythebunnyboy · 1 year

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Howdy! As always I am incredibly pleased to hear from you again. It is the highlight of my morning. I imagine this is what it was like not too long ago. anxiously awaiting a letter from your loved one.

Your description of yourself (and the couple photos you've posted of yourself) I must say is incredibly helpful to aid in my impure thoughts. I've only been attracted to maybe 3 men in my life but I truly believe you are at the top of that list. I have a type of course and you just fit right in it.

I loved hearing about how soft your skin is and how frail you are. Gets me quite aroused. You can ask me anything by the way. Don't worry about if it'll make me uncomfortable or upset. everything about me is an open book! The answer to your question by the way is

Yes ❤️ I've came to the thought of you several times. I mostly jerk off when I'm in the shower (it has the most privacy as I grunt and moan quite loud) Sometimes It's fantasies of you. Other times I look at the photos you've posted. It really gets me worked up. I've probably never ravaged my sex-toy more than when I'm thinking of you. Sometimes I think about just kissing you. All over. Kissing your soft lips. Working my way down your chest to those wonderful thighs. Then of course I can't be stopped from eating out and enjoying that wonderful bunny cunt that lays in front of me. I too imagine the contrast of your soft skin and my rough hands. Maybe you'd like it if I stood behind you, towering over you. My chest firmly pressed into your back as I run my hands up and down your soft skin. I'll leave this here but as always I am anxious to hear from you again. Fare thee as well as I fare,

your zealous admirer - 🚂 (I'm a big train guy I am nerdy about trains they're cool as hell) (PS. The puss in boots wolf is hot. I'm a top and I totally get wanting to get just ruined by him)

hello again, dear cowboy anon! 💜💜 im very glad i can make you so happy hehe, i kind of wish you would just dm me so we can consistently talk and get to know each other without you having to wait for a response everyday, but i understand anonimity is a very big thing people treasure so i wont force you to! though, if youd ever want to dm me, all im saying is that id welcome you with open legs arms 💜

(rest of my response under the cut so i dont clog peoples dashboards!)

very happy that my information is helpful to your fantasies! id love to hear more of them you know? how youd ruin me, how you would react if i ever bought a cute bunny outfit for you, what youd do if you ever caught me touching myself to you... hehe, so many things id love to know about you 😊

also!! im relieved you indirectly clarified youve been attracted to other men, even though its not that many! i needed that reassurance because ive had uh... not the best experiences with another man from the south, and ever since then ive been scared of straight men being attracted to me that actually saw me as a girl, but would just lie about being queer to my face just so i wont block them 😓 im glad youre not one of them! my underlying fear has been solved and i can now fully flirt with you without being paranoid 💜

the fact that i fit your type is a very big compliment, and just so you know, youre my type too hehe 😊 big strong man with an accent thats kinky but really sweet? hehehehe... if i ever meet you we'd both be going until we were exhausted 💜 and youve cum to me more than once? that actually makes me really needy knowing you like me and my body so much that youve fantasized about me multiple times 😵‍💫

hmph i wish i was in that shower with you, listening to your groans and moans 🥺 maybe im also a little jealous of that sex toy, im the one youre supposed to ravage, not that!!! my holes are all open and available for you to use to your hearts content but since im not near your home you have to resort to using a toy instead of me, so unfair 🥺🥺 by the way if you ever mention eating my boy cunt out again ill cum right on the spot- and last minute note, i would love if you towered over me, groping and grabbing my soft bunny parts while whispering all the dirty things youd to do me in my ear hehe 💜

noted, my dear cowboy anon is a train enthusiast! thank you for that little bit of information, and i very much hope to hearing from you again! youre so nice and interesting, anon 😊 im very excited for us to talk again 💜💜

(p.s thank you for understanding my monsterfucker tendencies, the death wolf is making me severely horny and its very easy to see why once you watch the movie!)

#casey ★ answering #🚂 anon #i want you to dm me so bad euh 🥹 but i understand if you dont want to 💜#also when death spoke in spanish i almost came actually thats all thanks

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hella1975 · 2 years

Note

I'm writing this ask as I read the new update so here, we go.

Initial reaction to the first two paragraphs: Absolutely immaculate. Perfection. Incredible. All the praise. I read the first paragraph and immediately had to take a moment to fully process what it was I'm about to read because I forgot how YOU write. Like 'Oh yeah this is HELLA.' (I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read). It's like I've been fueling my hunger with the fanfiction equivalent of empty calories since your last update, and I feel like a starved child sitting down at a feast and immediately I had to take a moment to take it all in.

I'm where Bato is in the tent with the book and Hella, let me tell you. I've already been struggling with my sexuality recently and if this makes me even more confused, I swear I'm gonna-

"He could point to these sentences and say look, here, that's where I fit." - That's going to be the part I maim you over. I'm barely into this update and already you're doing this crap. Mind you I'm ace, so I decided I'm projecting onto Kanut.

"Maybe there are types of love you can't access." AAAHH. The way you talked about this is so perfect, I can't with you.

I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible.

Bato you menace

It's good to know that Bato ships Tomnook.

I don't usually like Bato. Not in the show, not in the other fics, but I absolutely love him in taob.

Tomnook you menaces

"If a flower was enough to rob a man of his strength, then perhaps he wasn't so strong to begin with." Love that, 10/10, using that on my sexist relatives one day.

WERE GETTING SOME KANUT AND ZUKO SCENES THIS IS NOT A DRILL- I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL (I love those two so much)

It was shortlived, nvm

ITS HAPPENING AGAIN AND APPAS THERE TOO

AAHAHAHAHH THATS TOO PERFECT HELLLA I HATE YOU SM WHY DO YOU DO THIS WHAT THE FFFFFF

"Needed to vent, you're a fantastic listener." Kanut you king

Hella that was absolutely beautiful. You deserve all the kudos all the fame jk rowlings career all of it. Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly. I can't put into words how perfect that last scene was, I love that old healer.

You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible.

I dont like commenting on ao3 so I just decided to leave this in your ask box thing :)

❤❤❤

Also, this is the same anon who has a list of their favorite things about you (lists are kind of my thing) and I have something I would like to add onto the list. I'm just going to tag this onto this specific ask because why not. It's also completely unrelated to the rest of this ask.

That is the way you tag things. You're the funniest person I follow and you show that in the way you tag things on here. I think I mentioned you're general chaoticness before, but thats unrelated to how hilarious you are. I can't even put it into words, like why the things you say in tags always make me laugh but they do and yeah.

list anon im literally slow dancing with u we're two slow dancers last ones out im twirling u in my arms i cant do this rn. parts of this ask that knocked me out:

'I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read' YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THIS TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT

'I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible' okay ive said briefly in the past that im SUPER anxious about every aspect of taob zukka like im hyperaware of it every scene i write of them just bc i feel people have waited so long for it that it's now my job to execute it Perfectly or people will be let down, so every time i get even the smallest compliment about taob zukka i get soooo giddy

'Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly' i cannot stress enough how nervous i was for this chapter like i wanted to do it justice so fucking badly so this is just very <333 yeah

'You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible' BARK BARK GROWL HISS BARK GRRRRRRRR

'You're the funniest person I follow' TO THINK THAT WE COULD STAY THE SAME BUT WE'RE TWO SLOW DANCERS LAST ONES OUT-

#list anon you are the light of my life like i think about your asks all the fucking time bestie best friend my little rabbit #<3333 #ask #taob asks #list anon

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qumiiiquinnquin · 10 months

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my view on love is so skewed.

what is love?

i know what it is. only partially though. i only know it from an outside perspective.

people feel deeply for each other , to the point of dating , sometimes to the point of marriage , sometimes to the point of having a kid or multiple children. sometimes , to the point of growing old together , and sometimes resting peacefully with your graves side by side in the cemetery.

sometimes love just doesnt work out though. feelings for each other erode away over time and the gears of love for each other just stop turning , cheating or infidelity may happen , or just a complete breakup or divorce.

im a child of a divorced couple who ended up splitting because my mom cheated on my dad. before my dad had found out what my mom had done , their relationship was dwindling because all i can gather is they weren't feeling very close anymore. my dad says it got to the point that they’d be texting each other from opposite ends of the same couch instead of talking. my mom is remarried since 2015 , and my dad has been struggling to find and keep a relationship. he came very close to proposing again , but they ended up splitting.

i dont know what it feels like when love just doesn't work out. ive seen it though ; both times my dad had to split with someone , it caused him major depression , especially when he had to part from my mom. he had disappeared for a while and my uncle watched us , i can only assume he had left because what the divorce had done to him. he drank more ((not to the point of alcoholism but almost)) and smoked more , and my mom smoked more too. she seems to regret her actions , and stopped smoking about a year prior to getting remarried.

but to be honest , i dont even know what it feels like when love does work out. ive explained times that ive had crushes on people to friends last year , only having crushes exactly three times. my friends said that these were more “squishes” instead of crushes , as i was not comfortable with the idea of ever marrying or dating those who i had crushes on. it wasn't feelings of romance , even if it felt like it. i just liked someone a lot.

ive only confessed once , and it was to my closest friend. it felt like genuine feelings of romance. i wanted to spend the rest of my days with him , and if i may be honest , the idea of him ever finding and dating someone hurts my soul a little.

when i confessed , he said no. i remember i was hurt by that for a bit , and sometimes i feel sad when i recall that our relationship is strictly platonic friends. we say i love you to each other , but with the platonic tone indicator. sometimes , i wish i could say it without the tone indicator and be able to call each other sweet names.

but at the same time , im glad he said no. i dont know how love works. the very idea of dating , marriage , and always being with the same person for the rest of your life makes me uncomfortable , as well as anxious and confused. i do not understand how dating works , at what point marriage is considered , how deeply in love you have to be to want to marry , how you dont get tired of your partner when living with them for the rest of both of your lives , etc. etc. etc.

even lately , when ive been feeling very alone and wishing i had a partner , i dont think id be happy if i did have one because i dont understand or really...feel love.

what is dating?

is it cuddling or other types of physical affection? but what if im not comfortable with being touched? what then?

is it going out? but what qualifies as going out? is it the fancy dinner shown in shows and movies , or is it just basic outings like to a fun store or a walk downtown or the movies?

is it just hanging out next to each other at home or somewhere? but certain things have to qualify as a date right?

what is marriage?

when do you decide you love each other so much to the point of wanting to marry?

what is it like to live the rest of your life with someone else? do you not get tired of their company? do you simply get used to it? do you do anything to have small breaks away from each other? but if you are spending time away from your spouse , does anyone then think the relationship is unhealthy and going downhill?

when do you decide you love each other so much to have a child?

there's so much to love that i dont understand.

not to mention , besides my lack of understanding much about love , the idea of cheating , divorce , or something happening to my partner has partially frightened me out of trying to find someone. additionally , you never know who you will meet. ending up in an abusive or controlling relationship has also kept me at bay from seeking somebody. i already have enough trauma to bear on my shoulders , if im being perfectly honest...i dont want anything added to that...

i feel silly as i type this , because as i said earlier , i have been desiring a partner lately , and confessed to my closest friend a couple years ago and sometimes wish we could be something. three times , ive had people confess to me , only for me to turn them down because i am not comfortable with being in a relationship. i keep going back and forth with myself if i would truly be happy in a relationship , and its even led to me questioning my own identity - i identify as aroace.

the asexual part has held true and will continue to hold true for the rest of my life. but...with my thoughts and feelings on love , especially lately where they seem like they're changing , im not certain i can still identify as aromantic...

it seems to wane. sometimes , i desperately want a partner and feel quite lonely and jealous whenever i see a couple. other times - and most times - i feel happy by myself , and do not feel comfortable ever being in a relationship with someone. i feel quite annoyed whenever my family tells me ill change my mind or i will eventually find somebody.

i want someone to love me , but i never want to be in a relationship with them. does that make sense? i wouldnt mind being loved and loving someone else , but i would want the relationship to remain platonic or simply just friends.

none of this may make sense. i wish i could explain it all better , but i dont exactly know how to describe my feelings on love too well.

it's just my very skewed view on love.

#not a vent #long post

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