Tumgik
#when I say I literally have to do everything myself I fucking mean it cause this is what happens when I don't
my mum's staying for the weekend pray for me
9 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
Text
...
#ugh. the fucking struggle of a thing i will not talk about. its just an off shoot of one of my many#obessive compulsive tendencies. it just makes me think of my dad. like hes also a fucking anxious person but hes like. i have the thoughts#but then i dont let them control me so its not an issue. and he knos i get caught up on the structure and identification of problems so#hes always like. its only an issue if its like ruining ur life. and hes right and i definitely meet the standards of both of those things#bc im fucking thinking abt these things constantly. its in my head literally all the time. every second of the day#and i mean i guess this specific thing isnt ruining my life but it certainly isnt helpful and in combo with everything else my quality of#life is not what it could b. idk it just feels all empty which is y i became a fucking workaholic#bc i just get so fucking bored stuck in these stupid patterns that at least i can make myseld useful as i drive myself nuts#it also doesnt help that im still trying to unfuck my leg and not being very successful bc theres this fucking voice in my head like#keep moving. u cant sit down. walk around. dont stop. dont stop. dont stop. i can feel the muscles getting irritated again#its unbearable bc it doesn't really even hurt. i just kno im fucking it up for myself and i have all this excess energy that i cant get rid#of bc i cant run. anyway its just irritating#i probably triggered myself by watching the bear all day lol. its so good but it reminds me of working in a shitty banquet hall when my#brain was on fire. and theyve got that toxic workahoism that i so desperately cling to. and in a weird way i can relate tho their fucked#up mom when everyones just trying to help but shes so fixated on this thing that's clearly causing her distress but shes just screaming at#them. like i mean i have insight into my issues and i try not to let them affect anyone but me but its so hard when its like. i have to do#this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand#but i wouldn't say that bc i kno its irrational. ugh. i also have to go to a lab dinner tomorrow. maybe#no time has been listed so idk. its for my leaving so im technically the focus. hate that for me. whatever. itll b fine#at least the place is within walking distance and its like less than 3 weeks until i leave#unrelated
1 note · View note
kindacreepy-kindaugly · 4 months
Text
I don't think his (or mine) understanding of "playin nice" is rly up to standard though
#i could keep a list of all the shit he says n does that just doesn't lead to escalation so it doesn't rly even register#so yea this is just me listing things for myself tryin to keep my head at least remotely clear#so far no slurs but he did call me a junkie n compare me to roadkill n that's not exactly. what most people would call nice i guess#he's got such a way w/ words<3 a real charmer#......in hindsight the roadkill thing was funny af though i was just rly fucking tense cause uh. scared. so WHY is that where your mind goes#what is wrong with you#also do you literally have to say out loud every damn thing that crosses your mind smh#maybe writing everything down will keep me grounded enough that i don't.....go back into the lovestruck state from earlier#like jesus christ girl get a grip. all he did was not be angry w/ you n i guess call you pretty#stop actin like there's some high tier romancing happening#i'm not sure which category the whole thing w/ him referring to me as a pet goes cause i guess he could be a lot meaner but....#......nah actually he knows i fucking hate it that's 100% why he's doin it#on the shit list you go#meanwhile the way he did actually get angry doesn't cause that one was mostly on me. i was bein a bitch for no reason.#(tryin to get him to snap n drop the act before i fall too deep)#(also i don't wanna think about it n he didn't end up doin much anyway cause he backed off when i panicked)#he's also kinda constantly lowkey tryin to convince me i like some shit that i definitely don't#my body just reacts to it cause. adrenaline i guess. that's not the same thing.#doesn't fucking mean i like it#spdrvent
0 notes
medicinemane · 6 months
Text
I'm kinda fucking furious with my mom
Her stupid slob lazy ass has lost my fucking ballot
I fucking brought it in with the mail, but it was such a fucking busy week with so much shit on my plate (think the fridge may have been dead still at that point, can't remember) but I go to check the mail and it's like ah yeah, there they are
Only just remembered cause had so much stuff going on and... she's just been making a pile of trash in the kitchen instead of going through the mail, and she's going "oh I never saw them"
Fuck you, my fucking mistake for trusting you with anything. I should have known you're such an asshole you can't even open your own mail
Like I'm actually fuming right now
#when I say I literally have to do everything myself I fucking mean it cause this is what happens when I don't#but you see; she's so fucking busy writing for anthologies again despite 'learning her lesson' not to overload her plate#learning that lesson over and over and over and then ignoring it; like saying aloud how she's learned it#she never fucking helps; she has zero fucking attention to detail#like... I'm scatterbrained; I can forgive it but... she literally only fucking makes problems for me#she's quite literally a fucking child; like I can straight up tell you that she's emotionally stunted to about 14#and so she acts like a fucking child most of the time and like... I'm fucking sick of it#now I'll need to scour the house and track down the ballots just to be able to fucking vote#like... I just... I just fucking... brought the mail in; but like fuck me I guess for being so tired I trusted her with the ballots#I guess I need to fucking... separate out all important mail and not let her touch it#and like it is just a huge trash pile of old mail; and I have so so so fucking much trouble going through that shit#especially cause it's not fucking mine!#but I guess I know how I gotta try and spend tomorrow#just... get the fuck out of my house; I'm so sick of you lady#fucking 5 minutes of cleaning even once a month... it would be fucking something#I'm... I'm doing real bad these days; and she just keeps piling more shit on my plate all the god damn time#...I'm tired... I'm tired of not even being able to bring in mail apparently
1 note · View note
dumplingsjinson · 2 months
Text
List of “even more stuff based on personal experience” prompts
“What if I just continued to rile you up?” (MFER ON A STICK-)
“And if I continue to tease you like this…”
“Fuck, you need to stop teasing me like this, please.”
“I’ll touch myself if you do, too.”
Character B telling Character A to touch themselves while they’re already fondling with themselves.
Character B dipping their head down to eat Character A out without warning, causing Character A to gasp loudly and bite their bottom lip.
“I like it when you tell me what to do.”
Character B teasing Character A’s nipples with their fingers (or tongue) and enjoying the way they’re making Character A break (in a good way) completely from that; flicking them and rolling the buds between their fingers.
From soft little kisses from the face to the jaw to the neck, to hungrily leaving marks on their neck.
“You’re so warm, and it turns me on so much.”
“Fuck me,” Character B whispers harshly as Character A grinds down against them.
“Why are you looking up at me from down there?” Character A questions, threading their fingers through Character B’s hair as they glance down at them, their head lingering between their thighs. “Because you’re hot and I like looking at you,” Character B says with a grin.
Character B planting kisses on their inner thighs after eating them out.
Anytime Character A would comment on how hot it is, Character B would butt in and ask, “Like you?”
From soft banter to Character B leaving even more marks on Character A’s neck.
“You turn me on so much.”
“I’m so wet/hard.” “Well, good.”
“Fuck you,” Character A laughs. “Sure,” Character B says, a soft underlying teasing tone to their voice, laced in that one word they say. Character A sighs loudly, “Oh my God, what the hell, I didn’t mean it like that—”
Character A holding Character B’s hands as Character B eats them out, fingers intertwined. (PRO-TIP: HOLD HANDS WHILE YOU GET TONGUED FUCKED, IT'S GREAT)
“You’ve seen literally everything.” “And I like what I saw.”
“You’re the only one who’s seen everything. Be honoured.” “Well, I’m glad I have that privilege.”
“Well, how do you like it when I touch myself?” “It... Turns me on.���
“I’m a mess right now.” “Hmm… And I wonder why that is?” “Hmm, yeah, I wonder why, too.”
Character A playing with Character B’s buttcheeks and giggling about it, only for Character B to get their revenge later on.
“You have my permission to do whatever you want with me.”
“God, I wanna sit on your face so bad.”
“Keep it down a bit more, won’t you?” “How about fuck you?” 
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Character A fucking themselves on Character B's tongue.
Being ate out so good they can’t stop the lewd noises coming from their mouth.
2K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 9 months
Text
friendship bracelets | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
charles' gf is beloved in the fandom for her love for frienship bracelets
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by arthurleclerc, charles_leclerc and 341,874 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: charles fell asleep mid craft session :(
view all comments
user3: she's everything, he's just ken
charles_leclerc: this is a false narrative, i was just resting my eyes and not allowing myself to distract you from your hard work
yourusername: i'd say you're a man of the people but your snoring is something else
charles_leclerc: I DO NOT SNORE TAKE THAT BACK
danielricciardo: i've taken enough flights with you charlie to confirm that you do in fact snore
charles_leclerc: i am being stabbed in the back so many times today you hate to see it
user4: i'm going to spa, guarantee me a friendship bracelet and i'll back you
charles_leclerc: done ✅
user4: charles marc herve perceval leclerc has factually NEVER snored in his entire life and any allegations that he has are both slanderous and libellous and you will be DEALT WITH IN A COURT OF LAW
yourusername: ummm what?
charles_leclerc: what colour bracelet do you want?
user5: what in the everloving fuck just happened?
lilymunhe: anyhow... y/n you are so sexy
yourusername: right back at you baby ;)
daniel3.jpeg
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, landonorris and 489,034 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
daniel3.jpeg: this friendship bracelet business is serious stuff, also charles and y/n being gross as usual
view all comments
user6: fuck romeo and juliet i want what these bitches have
yourusername: daniel do not underestimate the power of the friendship bracelets
danielricciardo: oh i'm not doubting it i saw a girl ignore me, jump across the hood of my car just to get one
yourusername: i mean i'm pretty sure that girl broke a toe, i paid for her health insurance
landonorris: people are breaking toes for these things?
yourusername: it was not the intent on my behalf, i just wanted a sister/brotherhood among fans
user7: don't make them so cute then
charles_leclerc: what do you mean gross? daniel, can i not be happily in love?
danielricciardo: i am happy for you charles but if i have to hear you break out in a sonnet about the smell of y/n's perfume or the colour of her eyes i will pull my hair out
yourusername: what hair?
danielricciardo: ????
yourusername: sorry i admit that was a low blow from me
user8: is that charles taking a pic of y/n in the last one?
yourusername: yes my lovely lil photographer
Tumblr media
f1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, scuderiaferrari and 1,403,874 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
f1: make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you've got no reason to be afraid ✨ y/n and charles arrived at spa this weekend with the friendship bracelets that are coveted by f1 fans!
view all comments
user11: all the loser men in this comment section making fun of these don't understand how much of a stan FLEX it is to have one of these
user12: no jokes if i see someone with one this weekend i'm offering them out on the spot
user13: i literally only put mine on after the race when i got home cause i was so scared it would get stolen
alexalbon: cringey faves
yourusername: are you still annoyed i ran out last race before you could get one?
alexalbon: why did lily get one before me :(((
lilymunhe: girlies first
yourusername: what lily said
user14: all jokes aside the whole friendship bracelet thing has been great for creating a sense of belonging for girls in this sport and i can't thank y/n enough for giving us something that is uniquely ours in f1
yourusername: that honestly makes me so so happy, girls get a tough ride in all sports, but esp in f1 and i wanted to find a way to bring us all together and i actually wanted to ask if the girls (and guys) wanted to start making our own and start exchanging them at races :)
f1: we back this !!
charles_leclerc: lift the jewellery ban so i can wear mine in the car
yourusername: i can't allow you to put that extra weight in the car the sf-23 needs all the help it can get
scuderiaferrari: :((((
user15: LOOOOOOOOOL
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 509,871 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: my heart is so full. first, charlie back on the podium where he deserves to be, i'm so proud my love, you'll be back to winning ways soon. second, MY GIRLS. words cannot express how happy i was to see you all exchanging bracelets and making new friends! i also received so many from you which will all go in my collection at home. safe journeys back and see you guys after the summer break.
view all comments
user16: it really is the summer of the girls and barbie
user17: i've literally never felt more included at a gp before, so many girls just introduced themselves to each other and i made so many new friends :))))
charles_leclerc: thank you cheri, i love you always
yourusername: you deserve everything my love
charles_leclerc: also thank you everyone for the friendship bracelets, we got given enough for the entire ferrari garage has one as well as everyone who worked in paddock club this weekend!! keep spreading the love <3
user18: never have i ever loved a couple more than these two
user19: i am allowing my parasocial relationship to go wild rn
danielricciardo: thank you for starting this y/n even if i thought it was a bit silly to start with but my arms are full and i'm FEELING the love
maxverstappen1: same here, p is enjoying all her new bracelets 🧡
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 908,673 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: back on the podium - i'm very happy with that, the best way to go into the summer! thank you for all of your support ❤️
view all comments
user20: my king right there
user21: the rocketships don't count so p1 in my heart
yourusername: prince of monaco doing prince of monaco things
charles_leclerc: makes sense since you're my princess
landonorris: GAG
yourusername: let us be cute, be lonely on your own time
scuderiaferrari: proud of you charles
yourusername: build a better car i beg
user22: speaking for all of us
Tumblr media
charles_leclerc
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,098,673 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: suprised her with a trip to paradise and she's still making friendship bracelets
view all comments
user23: they're both so sexy i can't
yourusername: i love you but you can't take the hobby out of the girl
user24: she loves us too much to stop now
yourusername: they're not wrong ....
charles_leclerc: you love me the most though, right?
yourusername: of course!!
user25: oh to be them
pierregasly: invite lost in the mail i see
charles_leclerc: literally the romantic trip you helped me plan?
pierregasly: i still i want you to take me for pasta dinners?
yourusername: back off frenchie
note: ENJOY, i kinda love this but let me know what you think - i am getting to requests but this popped into my head and i had to write it before i forgot
6K notes · View notes
Text
success life story ♡
heyy i'm here to share about my success story, the beginning is only before i started manifesting and about when i just started, all my success are on the very end of the blog, so feel free to skip directly at it if you're not interest by all the rambling !
have a good read ☆
Tumblr media
michiko is so pretty, i've literally been told so many times i looked liker <3
the old story that i don’t live in anymore
okay so before i didn’t hate my life, at all, but i just found very dull and so poor of entertaining like it was just too fucking regular and repetitive.also a bit depressing. i thought of myself of such an unlucky girl before and i was like affirming all the fucking time that i was unlucky and guess what? everything really used to go the way i didn’t want it to go every single damn time and i’d be like i knew it im so unlucky boo-hoo.
same for the money i would just go every single fucking day rambling to my friends how poor i was and how i wanted money so bad and the same story every single fucking for days, weeks, months.
i really wanted a new appartement and my own room cause i used to share same room as my sister and it really was getting on my nerves, i had no privacy and place for myself. the apartment was small, my mum always kept complaining about it and then she would argue about my dad about it but the reason why we couldn’t move out despite trying for several months was cause my dad had whole lotta debts and my mom had a really low paying and hard job she was exhausted and, it was quiet hard to see them being this unhappy and they still tried their hardest to make us happy so i really wanted to get back at them.
about social life i had very few friends and barely went out, i'd say probably one time a month. and i really wanted to get that life of the party, and those big ass friends group and also i was crazy desperate about having black friends cause i am black and literally the only black out here without none of black friends and i felt pretty left out like wtf am i the only black girl with no black friends cause all of them (that's so dumb tho.. ) were friends and gets invited to the most fun hangouts and i was embarrassingly jealous of that and also complained a lot about it…and kept asking tf was wrong with me.
STRONGLY on this one : i wanted a relationship so bad and i kept hating and being sad to those couple on tiktok’s. one time i actually cried cuz i wanted a boys’s love so bad like i was craving it so bad. i was in such despair state before..cringy ahh ☠️
i used to be rlly insecure about my looks too even tho at some moments i felt more confident, i kept comparing myself and waisting dozens of minutes enumerating my "flaws ". i knew about manifestation but not really about law of assumption , for me manifesting was really all about listening to subliminals, method and scripting. we all once knew that phase yeah? i used to manifest from time to time but then would just give up again,since i was not seeing results and so on. so useful wow.and then there’s the others things like mediocre grades, poor family health, just constant tiredness and fatigue feeling,
tw : mention of being depressed,sh,ed, : felt empty like life had absolutely no meaning, suicidal thoughts, tried to end by over-consumption of medication, self-harm and bulimia, constant complaining and NEGATIVE ONLY mindset.
but now, NOW i tell you ever single thing i’ve just listed changed completely like every single damn thing i’ve just listed is no more, it’s out of the date, dead, buried and no longer existing !
Tumblr media
it clicked
then at some point at my life i was just like. yk what? fuck i just wanna change it all. then i really like really  got into it all over again and for good. no more 1 week i try then giving up cause i ain’t seeing no « results ».
i watched hours and hours of ppl talking about loa (i’m not saying you should do this at all it’s just that i was very under-informed and wanted to know everything about loa)on youtube, shoutout to rita kaminski and hyler who really put me into it and informed me. then i started reading neville’s pdf books, and tumblr blogs, kinda overconsuming but i liked getting myself informed.
and then that’s where everything started and that i got aware of all the power i actually hold. all the things i actually can do just cause of my mind. i wrote down all my wishes in present tense ,like every single aspect i wanted to change/have in my life. and i started fully living in the end like really got myself into and at first of course, wavering from time to time in the beginning. it was pretty easy for me since i was used to manifestation.but what i didn’t do before is persist no matter what and that’s what was really tricky for me in the beginning to persist no matter what and not just give up to bullshit 3D. but when i kept moving forward no matter the 3D and made it facts the only my 4D matters and everything has already happened, ALL and every single wish down to the last one flowed into my life. ONE by ONE every single hour of the day i would get my manifestations down to the last letter i wrote in my notes.every single thing
Tumblr media
success storyy
in a matter of few weeks like really 3 week-ish like- 1 month max.
starting off LUCK i’m extremely lucky now every single time i play gambling activities i win. i’ve won insane amounts at scratch cards i think i’ve won in total more than 5’000$. JUST FROM SCRATCH CARDS.and before i started i NEVER EVER WON. now whenever i play there’s not one time that i’ll win absolutely nothing even just a small prize
won huge lottery prize (from 200 to 12k the biggest i’ve won yet)
winning a gambling games, either online or dice rolling luck,bets, bingos etc.. its literally insane every one keep telling that i literally has got god’s blessing (i’m the god guys🥰)
financially freedom, my parents upgraded jobs and i’ve got lots of incomes + the money my parents give me 
all the debts my dad had, he got rid of ALL of them and when i tell you mf had a lot of em☠️
move out in a new huge ass condo which is a duplex (like really like i wrote it it’s actually scary how powerful we are..) I’VE FINALLY GOT MY OWN ROOM and we’re getting my desired furnitures and decorating the house i’m so grateful
friends and popularity i think biggest shock for me is really this. like my social life has gone from very paisible to completely fully booked and passioning life. like seriously i’ve been to more parties, concerts, birthdays, and hangouts during the last 2 weeks holidays than in my entire life
got lot of new friends, healthy relationships and quality time passed on lots of fun activities and sm memories
black groups friend. WITH AN S.so thankful to myself to be this good a manifestation i litteraly got into a black friend group of girls and i’ve never felt more at my place and understood this much. and these girls know the black group boys (when i tell you that 2y ago they were the person that i wanted to be close with so bad..also they’re really hot and funny lol)so we hung out with them and i was literally so highlighted and became pretty much friends with all of them !! 
my man. HELLO I LITERALLY MANIFESTED MY DREAM RELATIONSHIP? when i met him i didn’t actually realize right on the spot that he was exactly how i wanted him to be and reading back to when i scripted out all the things i wanted at the beginning, everything matched. he’s literally physically and mentally the man of my dream LIKE REALLY. we’re no bf and gf YET cause it’s just a little soon but we see each others super often and we have the best relationship ever i swear it’s giving wattpad. the flirting is crazyyy.
dream bod.from head to toe my desired body. heavy on the lower body all for that azz and wide hips.ive got smooth and clear skin and smell good all the time!! litteraly flawless face + got my braces which suits so much and dimples
plenty of vacations (went to ibiza, usa and dubai )
lenient parents they use to be so strict before i swear its crazy they let me go so easily now, i can hangout without asking 3 days ,like they accept even if i've gotta go in the next hour or if wanna go on trip that's in another country. i can come back home so much later too
attractive & magnetic aura + being really charismatic (everyone i met keep telling me i’ve got this thing that really makes them want me, get closer to me)
good grades without doing much
perfect self-concept - as i kept living 24/7 in the state of wish fulfilled, my self concept only got better making me really know what i’m worth and never wavering/ going back to the old story
whole ass pc set up
all of my desired skincare/makeups/shoes/clothes
and so much more...
outro
i hope y'all liked my blog and that it motivated some of you to NEVER GIVE UP cause y'all are reallyy some powerful mfs and y'all already got all of yours desires !!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ honey kisses, shayama
1K notes · View notes
the-stray-pup · 2 years
Text
Jfc I wrote a novel in this one 🙃
#the stray rants#welcome to part two because I’m just that fucked up in the head#tw for literally everything dark because i don’t read my own mind and don’t know what’s gonna go down here#how important is staying clean?? cause I feel like it’s not that important when I know how to control it well you know…#no one would even notice if I did it I mean they never do and if they do they don’t say anything which I mean even better for me right??#and it’s not like anyone I talk to cares about whether or not I stay clean because I wouldn’t tell them anyway#not that they would care if I even did because no one listens to me anyway. I’m always just talking to myself with no one caring about what#i say. i mean y’all don’t even give a fuck about what I’m saying in here I bet. I bet no one is even reading this and if someone is then#it’s only like one person who once again does not give a fuck. i mean why would anyone care about me? this is the internet. everyone is just#worried about getting off and rubbing one out on here. who cares about some little depressed complainer who hardly has any friends and#complains more than he posts?? i mean seriously I bet everyone wouldn’t give a fuck if I suddenly disapeared from tumblr because they wouldn#even notice. and why would you? I’m not important whatsoever. a lot of people would be glad if I were dead I bet because so many people dont#like me anyway so they’d be happy to see me gone. everything would just be better if I was gone. i wouldn’t have to worry about anything evr#again and I’d finally be able to not feel all this negative shit that hold me back and hopefully I’d reincarnate into a cis guy and actually#be happy for once in my useless life. wouldn’t that be amazing?? I’m so fucking unloved because no one gives a fuck about me. no one cares#about anything I have to say. i have friends but are they really friends?? i doubt they actually like me because most of them don’t act like#they do. i mean why the fuck would anyone like me in any way shape or form? there’s nothing to like about me and I don’t even know how I hav#a platonic partner because I’m annoying anyway. and I’m no fun and boring and stupid and worthless and don’t deserve to be speaking to any1#i just want to die. is that too much to ask for?? i don’t want to be here anymore. i fucking hate it. nothing is ever going to get better.#I’m always going to be alone and feel lonely and feel like everyone hates me. this feeling is never going to go away and I’m always going to#hate myself because I deserve to be hated. I’m such a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to be happy. i wish I could be happy but I won’t b#I’m never going to find someone who I feel comfortable with in person. especially because I hardly know any trans people and definitely have#never actually spoken to trans people face to face who would ever actually want to speak to me outside of the obligation of school shit so I#would have to deal with disgusting ass fetishy cis people who would only ever want me because I’m trans and that’s it and being trans is the#one thing that I hate most about myself because I’m just so uncomfortable in my body every single fucking day and I hate it and wish I was#never born. I’m so fucking unhappy. i hate it. i fucking hate everything and I have no one to talk to. i don’t even want to bother the peopl#i do talk to with this annoying as shit because why should I make them have to deal with my terrible moods when I don’t even want to??#i wish I could pass. and I wish my name was changed. and that I was on T. and I already had top and bottom surgery and that I couldb stealth#how much of this am I actually going to be able to handle? when is it gonna be my breaking point? why do I seem to hold more shit each and e#every time?? i just want this all to end and go away. that is all since this is the limit again I’m pretty sure
1 note · View note
recklesssturniolo · 5 months
Text
Talk to Me - M.S
Tumblr media
dom!Matt (ish), phone sex & reader and him are dating
A/N: idk how I feel ab this one praying y’all like it, also it’s short??? So also sorry ab that 😅
NSFW below, leave if you’re a minor
Cleaning my room, I’m caught off guard as my phone rings. Looking down, I smile seeing it’s Matt.
“Hey babe” I say.
“You got an explanation for the photo you sent?” He asks, referring to the nude I’d sent him a few minutes ago.
“What photo?” I reply.
“Don’t play dumb, you know what photo I’m talking about. Unfair you can send that when I’m not there to have you begging for me” He says, that sentence paired with the fact him being in LA was quite literally why he wasn’t able to be here but causing a heat to form between my legs.
“I mean you could’ve at least sent one back” I signed, laying down on my bed. The shirt I had on rising up and revealing the panties I had on - the exact ones that drove Matt crazy. My mind wandering off to how good he felt inside of me.
“Hello? Are you listening” Matt asked.
“Oh I - yeah sorry” I mumble back, trying desperately to ignore the wetness forming.
“What were you doing? Or more importantly what were you thinking of?” Matt asks, even without seeing him I knew there was a smirk on his face.
“Nothing really I just spaced off” I reply my hand subconsciously tracing the hem of my thong.
“You sure it wasn’t how good I make you feel when I’m fucking you? Maybe how my tongue feels on your pussy?” He replies.
My breath hitches in my throat knowing somehow he’d figured out his small comment from earlier turned me on, “Maybe” I sigh.
“Touch yourself baby” He groans, my eyes widening noticing his change in tone realizing he was jerking off.
“Matt, are you-“ I begin.
“Yeah I’m jerking off, you think I can see that photo you sent and not? Come on touch yourself, I know you’re wet at the thought of me” He responds.
Knowing he was right, I slide my panties down. My hands making their way back to my pussy, a slight moan leaving my mouth as I began rubbing my clit, “Fuck”
“There you go, feels good doesn’t it hm?” Matt asks.
“Yes but nothing compared to you” I respond.
“Yeah? You rather my fingers touching your pussy? My fingers pumping in and out of you until you’re clenching around them?” He groans out.
“Fuck Matt, I need you so badly” I whine, memories flooding my mind with each sentence that left his mouth. His stubble against my thighs while he sucked on my clit, how his fingers felt inside of me curled slightly, any memory I had of him touching me.
“Soon pretty girl, once I’m back I’ll fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk the next day. You have no idea how much I miss how you taste and how fucking tight you are” He groans out, his voice becoming raspy.
Unable to form a response, my mind still continuing to imagine everything he said, a whimper falls from my mouth as my back arches slightly.
“Sound so good moaning for me, fuck I can only imagine how hot you look touching yourself. Tell me what you’re thinking about baby” He says.
“I - just the one time in the car, when you ended up pinning me against the side and fuck how you finger fucked me until I came and fuck Matt-“ I began, my head tilting backwards slightly as I felt my high coming.
“And then what baby, keep going for me” He groans out, his breathing becoming faster.
“And then you fucked me against it and held my wrists together as you slammed into me. Matt I’m gonna come” I whine out, replaying the memory causing the knot in my stomach to grow.
“Good fuck so I am, let me hear you don’t be quiet” He replies, coming out more as a demand.
Without responding, whimpers and moans fall from myself, my eyes clenching shut as I came. Matt groaning and cursing on the other line, my orgasm only becoming better as I imagined him jerking off and coming on himself, his head tilted back and his hips buckling.
“Fuck you don’t know what you do to me” He speaks as both of us catch our breath, “That feel good?”
“Yes but -“ I began.
“I know I know it isn’t the same, trust me baby I know” He replies, his voice soothing now.
“If you don’t come straight to my house after your plane lands I swear to god Matt” I tell him.
“Trust me I’ll be speeding over, I already told Chris and Nick to figure out a ride back. Not waiting another second to be with you” He laughs.
“That was so hot Jesus fuck why haven’t we had phone sex before?” I question.
“I’ve jerked off while you spoke to me on the phone multiples times” He casually says.
“What? Just to my voice?” I asked, now intrigued at him admitting that.
“Mhm, I told you, you don’t know what you do to me”
TAGLIST: @sturnphilia @thatonekid536 @cupidsword @loveesiren @daddyslilchickenfingers @christinarowie332 @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @lxvlysworld @lovingsturniolo @iwantmattsobad @secret-sturniolo @mattsd0ll @soursturniolo @knowingnothingnoel
*If you want added to my taglist just comment or message me*
691 notes · View notes
natigail · 2 months
Text
"I figured hey, if I'm here, I might as well be honest with myself. So I dug into the archives. And I found teenage Dan. Do you remember HELLO INTERNET? There I was, eighteen years old, your average caucasian British boy with your problematic vocabulary, just wanting so desperately to be liked. I then saw myself age twenty, as a student. Not that I was actually studying anything other than the male anatomy. I had no plan. No prospects. I was in desperate need of a haircut. Jesus Christ. No, look, that was not a hairstyle. It was geometry. My hair was a square. I then saw myself age twenty-two as an adult, just trying to make my way in the world, taking any job that I could, no matter how inauthentic or degrading. And look. I don't hate these past versions of myself, alright? Apart from the square one, it can get in the fucking bin. Mainly, I just feel sorry that it took them so long to work out who they are. I then stumbled across the video titled Existential Crisis. In which I utter the optimistic nihilistic epithet: 'embrace the void and have the courage to exist'. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist. It sounded nice when I said it but for some reason it just didn't hit. I had accepted the absurdity of the world but at that time, I hadn't accepted myself. Looking back at it, it finally clicked. Anyone who has suffered with depression or any kind of trauma that seriously affects your self-worth hopes that one day you're going to have this sudden revelation and then everything is fine. I had my revelation alright. I am unapologetically gay! Don't know if you hadn't picked up on that, so far in the show. But just having this revelation did not immediately fix all of my problems, because I still feel that inherent burnt-on brand that I am wrong. And that doesn't just go away. No, I know what my problem is, alright. My problem I am always living for the future. Every day I am thinking about this dream future where all of my dreams have come true and all of my problem have gone and everything's fine. And so, every day in the present of my life can be this joyless unrelenting grind towards that future. But it's okay. It's going to come any day now, right? Learning to look yourself in the mirror and being honest about what you've been through and keep living in spite of that can be hard. It takes a long time and a relentless persistent resistance against the way that you've been trained to feel by the world. But that doesn't just mean you should give up. Because, sure, sometimes in life, you may feel trapped. I felt trapped by my sexuality. You could feel trapped by your culture or your community. Hell, you could be literally trapped in an elevator but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to get out. 'cause, sure, when I look at the state of the world, I am very tempted to just go: You know what - we're all doomed. But that isn't courageous. That is cowardly. It's the easy way out. Even if it is, as I hope you'd all agree, a really fucking cool name for a show. So that's the thing. You can either say to yourself, every day is just a discontent emoji or you can find the courage to force your inner smiling cowboy hat, ye-motherfucking-haw! And just try to find in everyday life. Which is why I made this show. So I'm not living in the future but I'm just right here, right now, with you, just trying to have one good night. And look. Hey. Who knows, huh? We may all be doomed. Death may be inevitable. But first, we get to live. Life might at times be a struggle but just being here, to put one foot in front of the other every day is living. So please, do not let the doom drag you down. You are important. You matter. Please, stay hopeful for the future. Appreciate life. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist." - Dan Howell, closing monologue of his show "we're all doomed" (2022-2024)
252 notes · View notes
disneyprincemuke · 4 days
Text
wasted like all my potential * fem!driver
jury's out: everything officially fucking sucks
pairings: liam lawson x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver
notes: again i apologise for this taking so long apparently now that I'm kinda mentally no longer struggling with a 12k assignment, I've lost all feels to hurt rocky but no woRRIES IT'S COMING TO AN END SOON
(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)
(prev)
Tumblr media
just another day listening to her team explaining another change to the car and another day where she hopes that it all works out in her favour.
she glances out the window of the meeting room, finding the usual corner that’s typically occupied by matt, still empty. she sinks in her seat and folds her arms over her chest as she desperately tries to dial herself back into the meeting.
she catches liam’s eye across the table, the kiwi lifting his eyebrows with a small nod to acknowledge her. she smiles tiredly at him before sucking in a deep breath and returning her gaze to the empty table in front of her.
it’s just another weekend where she tries to save both her and the team’s faces. how long can she keep up the act of having things together in front of the media?
something’s gotta give.
when the meeting ends, she simply picks herself up and is the first one out of the room. sebastian, who’d been sitting next to her, simply sighed to himself as she walked out.
it’s been so difficult to get a grasp of her lately. it’s not just something only he’s noticed, it’s happening to everybody else in the team. since they’d touched down at the airport for the race weekend, it’s even a miracle to get her attention for 5 minutes.
she’s always reserved or simply preferred her own company.
it’s apparent with every single person she interacts with. the girl used to be able to uphold a conversation by her talking alone, but now everything’s minimal. conversations never last more than a minute and she’s always found in her driver’s room by herself.
at first, he concluded that she was unhappy with him. which, would be perfectly fine, seeing the current state of her race weekends. he’s more shocked that she hasn’t blown up in front of him yet.
not a single scream, an utter of frustration… not even a tear shed in half a year and truthfully, it’s almost worrying.
“you’ve got to tell her before she finds out from elsewhere,” sebastian mutters, patting liam on the back as they leave the room. “she’ll be even angrier if it doesn’t come from you.”
“have you spoken to her lately? i don’t think i’ll even get a reaction out of her,” liam whispers back, pointing at the girl walking up the stairs by herself with her head hung low. “do you have any idea how difficult it is to speak to her?”
“yes,” sebastian says with a scowl, “i literally talk to her every weekend.”
liam gives him a knowing stare. “then you should know how unreachable she is nowadays.” he pushes sebastian in the direction of the stairs. “maybe you should speak with her first before i go in there.”
sebastian scoffs, stumbling forward. he turns around and stands next to liam again. “no way. you’re not sending me in there to fight a war by myself.”
“do i really have to? can’t she just find out like everybody else if it goes through?” liam scowls with a sarcastic laugh when sebastian nods.
sebastian pushes him forward. “go and tell her before the media gets a hold of these things and leaks it before you get the chance to break the news yourself,” sebastian says. “let’s not cause a commotion where it’s not needed.”
“fine,” liam mutters, stomping a foot on the ground. he fixes his team shirt and sucks in a deep breath, trying to rehearse his lines in his head. it’s one thing to get the courage to speak to her nowadays, but being the bearer of somewhat bad news is an entirely different situation.
he takes a step forward and looks back at sebastian, throwing him a mean glare. meanwhile, the older man just flashes him a bright smile and an encouraging nod.
he runs up the stairs and calls out to her. the girl stops and turns around. her straight face almost makes liam jump back, not expecting to be greeted so suddenly.
“yes?”
“i uh,” liam huffs and straightens his shirt, “i need to talk to you.”
she tilts her head, “is everything okay?”
liam smiles. seems like he’s caught her at a great time, which should make this slightly easier. “of course. i just need to tell you something; it’s important.”
“oh,” she raises her eyebrows and points down the hallway, “do you want to sit down and talk about it? that serious?”
he shakes his head. he just doesn’t want her to burst out at him. especially that he’s not one to know how to handle her if she breaks. “i can just tell you now,” he shrugs, making his way up the steps to meet her at the top. “but i want you to know that it’s nothing personal.”
nothing personal. so it has something to do with her? she feels her heart start to race in her chest and the room starts to spin. she bites down on her lip and starts to pick at the skin around her nails. “did i do something?”
“no,” liam shakes his head. “what? no, you didn’t do anything. is everything okay?”
she blinks, “yeah, why?”
liam sucks in a deep breath and eventually decides to brush it off. “well, i wanted to let you know that i’m getting offers from other teams for next season.”
he watches her expression change, contorting into an expression he’s not quite sure how to decipher it. so he quickly tries to undo it. “i haven’t signed anything yet. but you know… with the year we’re having, i want to keep my options open. i’ll tell you if something catches my eye.”
he stumbles back, not even realising that she’d made her way down to him, throwing her arms around him. “i’m so happy for you, liam. you deserve to have options.”
he looks down at her body, tightly clinging onto him. “really?”
“of course.” she takes a step back and pats his chest. “you’re the best teammate ever. any team would be lucky to have you as their driver.”
Tumblr media
she climbs out of her car with a grumble, half annoyed and half amused. amused that her luck has continued its plummet with every weekend she spends in on a track.
she snarls down at her car as she tears her helmet off her head. “you’re a stupid car,” she mutters, rolling her eyes. “you’ll never be anything like last year’s car. you suck.”
she is fully aware of how crazy she sounds, and looks, telling an inanimate object off. but as of late, it seems those are the only things she can vent to that won’t turn its back on her. the only thing that won’t retaliate when she needs to scream at it.
“if i could kick you, i would,” she mutters with a scowl. “i’d break you apart like a fucking lego set if it wouldn’t get me fired.”
she feels a tap on her shoulder, whirling around to find sebastian smiling at her and her phone held in the air.
“matt’s calling you.” she nods and reaches out for her phone but he pulls it back at the last second. “are you okay? i know quali wasn’t as good as we hoped for, but they’re looking into it to make the car better for tomorrow.”
“seb,” she sighs, shaking her head with a disappointed frown, “you say that every weekend we’re in here. are you not sick of saying that?”
he drops his hand. “well, one of us needs to keep our head up with this season we’re having.” he smiles slightly and offers her the ringing phone. “you shouldn’t let it get to you — you’re still a great driver.”
“that’s not what it feels like lately,” she mutters, grabbing her phone from sebastian. “i should be able to make a car work. it shouldn’t matter if it’s good or bad.” she glances down at her buzzing phone, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. she presses the decline button. “i’ll be at the media pen if you need me.”
Tumblr media
she watches from the window in her driver’s room, her friends all gathered up, walking towards the gantries to exit the paddocks. they’re leaving to head for dinner without her after she’d refused their offer again.
oscar had approached her in the media pen to invite her out for dinner with them but she’d just not been feeling it. which would make this the 5th invitation that she’s rejected in 11 race weekends. oscar didn’t force her anymore; just simply shrugged and took her ‘no’ as it is.
which somehow made her feel even worse. which is even funnier, considering that just 2 races ago, she’d been wishing for her friends to invite her out after days in the paddocks. but there was something about her best friend taking her answer point blank without another word.
it feels so… isolating.
what if they’ve finally gotten tired of her rejection? what if they’re tired of her?
she whirls around to face her room. it’s messier than she’d usually keep it, her team shirts are lazily hung on the back of her chair and the sofa, her makeup is sprawled messily all over the table with a half-empty coffee cup that she had silently with sebastian for a strategy meeting.
the framed picture of her and sebastian is up on the wall again, with some attempt from sebastian to help her put it up again. she wishes that he’d never offered to help her put it back up. every time she looks at it, she remembers all her former glory and how far she’s fallen now.
and by meeting, she means that he spoke the entire time while she sat there nodding and smiling politely while thinking about how bad the car would be once she got in it.
and liam is leaving. well, he’s not technically leaving yet but seeing how their year keeps going down, it’s likely that he would. and she’s got a contract for another 3 years — where the hell is she going to go? nowhere because she has to stay here.
but everyone seems to be leaving her after her behaviour. but it’s hard to stop feeling this way.
how can she not feel this way?
Tumblr media
if liam’s finished in the top 5 in the race and she’s out of the points, what does that mean for her? she’s just half the driver she was, she thinks.
she finds herself in the bar after feeling the need to be here. liam now holds the record for the highest finish for her team this season, after all. and she’s not about to be labelled a sore loser by not being here at all.
though she could almost predict being the talk of the town with her tucking herself in the corner of the club half the time they spent in there. people always find a way to vilify her actions anyway.
but in a way, she shouldn’t have come out of her hotel room. she shouldn’t have gone anywhere knowing her state of mind. she hasn’t had a drop of liquor in her system for a hot minute, but the minute she was reminded of its glorious taste, she couldn’t hold herself back.
she’s on her knees in the back alley of the club they’d dragged her to, hands planted on the gravel as she struggles to hold herself over the drainage. she takes deep breaths to steady herself, blinking in desperation to steady herself.
“fuck.” she shuts her eyes momentarily, taking another deep breath as she feels a sob and another urge to vomit. moreover, her chest hurts. could it be from drinking too much too fast or is it something deeper than that? she can never tell.
“hey, you’ve been– rocky?”
“don’t,” she sobs, holding a hand up quickly to stop whatever else could have come out of the man’s mouth. she balls her hands against the gravel, the pain of dragging her skin against the rough material doesn’t register, but it does cut into her skin. “whatever you’re going to say, keep it to yourself.”
she feels a warm hand rubbing circles on her back and suddenly there’s someone kneeling on the ground next to her. she feels her hair getting brushed back, held into a makeshift ponytail. “i won’t,” liam mutters, slouching slightly. “what do you need? a glass of water? do you need me to take you back to the hotel?”
she shakes her head as another heavy sigh passes her lips. “i don’t know.”
“i’m going to get you a glass of water from the club, okay?” liam hums, squeezing her hand. “please don’t go anywhere. i’ll only be away for a second, stay conscious.”
she nods through staggered breaths. her hair falls past her shoulders to cover her face and the warm hand on her back is replaced by the cold wind.
she grabs liam’s arm just before he gets up. “don’t tell anyone about this.” she turns slightly. her red eyes and puffed cheeks almost made liam want to stay and cradle her until she felt better then and there. “please.”
there’s something about seeing someone — her, specifically — get wasted. she’s always prided herself as someone who can take her liquor, so this was a whole new look that, honestly, he didn’t want to get used to.
how exactly do you try and relight the spark in someone who seems to dwindle away with every weekend that passes?
he doesn’t ever speak up, but he spends the most time with her out of everyone at this point in their lives. he knows; he notices. it’s hard not to when the tension in the air always seems so heavy.
liam nods. “of course.”
Tumblr media
“i’m going to miss you,” she says with a frown, resting on her knees. she unzips the pet carrier and she cups kidnapper’s cheeks and tenderly pets his head. “i just need some time but i can’t take care of you right now.”
the cat simply tilts his head and tenderly lifts its head to rub the top of his head on her cheek. she wraps her arms around kidnapper and sighs.
she knew the day would come, sooner or later, that she couldn’t really take care of kidnapper. sure, he makes her apartment feel less isolated but it’s slowly becoming harder to take care of herself and the cat alike.
there are hours when it feels like a task to get herself out of bed for herself. much less for a cat that depends on her to be taken care of.
so she zips up the carrier and wipes her tears off her face. she composes herself before she forces herself to her feet. she knocks on the door and waits for an answer.
“must be someone we know if you’re not barking!” she hears logan laugh, followed by footsteps and then stubby’s loud footsteps against the hardwood flooring of his apartment.
the door opens, revealing logan in his pyjamas with a small grin. right by his feet is stubby, wagging his tail happily at her with a large smile and hopping on the spot at her sight and scent. “rocky,” he says in surprise with a small grin.
he wouldn’t have been so surprised if she’d been easier to reach lately. but in the passing weeks, it seems that she’s started to pull away from him and oscar.
it’s always a nice surprise when she shows up to his apartment unannounced. but with the familiar carrier by her feet, it makes him wonder what really brings her here. especially considering that she’s practically gone off the grid every single time they’re not in the paddocks for a race weekend.
she completely ignores their messages.
“what are you doing here?”
she had a whole speech prepared the entire time she walked over to his apartment building. a lie about needing him to take care of kidnapper for her while she spent the next couple of weeks in the states with matt.
but she ends up with, “i need someone to take care of kidnapper.”
“of course,” logan grins, tilting his head. “is everything okay? have you been crying?”
“watched a sad movie before coming here,” she forces a laugh out of herself, pointing at the carrier. “you don’t mind, do you? just a couple of weeks — i’m going out of town.”
she wasn’t expecting to make conversation with logan. in fact, that’s the entire reason she’d planned a speech prior to coming here with her cat in tow.
“we don’t mind,” he smiles. “arkansas with matt’s family, i suppose?”
she nods, “yeah.”
how exactly do you talk to your best friend who feels like she’s always a thousand miles away? “well, um,” logan hums, “do you want to come in for a drink? maybe a snack?”
she should accept the offer. “i’m leaving tonight, actually. i still have a lot of packing to do,” she feigns a frown, “maybe after i get back?”
logan nods with a grin. “sure. take care, dude, and have fun.”
Tumblr media
taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @c-losur3 @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @mclarengf @xoscar03 @nomie-11 @green-thots @tinyhrry @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool
295 notes · View notes
heartsfourdazai · 4 months
Note
hey how are you? I'm sorry to make this personal request but it's my current situation and I wanted to console myself with this in the arms of chuuya x reader
I would like to make a chuuya request with a s/o who went on a trip with her family to the beach, but her family is toxic and usually does things to humiliate her, talk about her body, etc. She pretends she doesn't care about it but it causes her several crises.
when your family is toxic, but you don't show that you care to him
chuuya :3
warnings: mention of a toxic relationships, reader uses she/her, insecurities, mention of body shame, mention of nudity, overall border-line fluff
a/n: hmmm, did i write away from the topic a little bit? maybe, and for that, i'm sorry!!! I did try to get all the components you have asked for anon; also, i'm sorry you're going through all of that! im here to talk if needed.
Tumblr media
OKAY FIRST OF ALL-
this man is not having you lying to his face.
no. no. no. NO!
he's sees right through you, anything you say that you may think is believing-
*CHUCK IT OUT THE DAMN WINDOW!!*
but not in a mean way :3
erm anyways.
he never really cared that you rarely mentioned your family, until he asked if he could ever meet your parents.
you know, because since you two are dating- he just thought it would be respectful. on his part, at least.
you tried your best to change subjects, but he would catch on quickly and ask if anything wrong between you and your parents.
"hmm, ohno- we just argue sometimes- but that's just life; people argue and people fight- it's normal!"
now, your not wrong? but you seemed to be hiding something about your family to him.
he's literally in the mafia; if you tell him that they're fucking murders on the run and you don't want anyone to know about it- who the hell is chuuya going to tell, mori?? 💀💀
thats not the case, but that's all what chuuya thinks.
you told him a couple of days later you and your family are going on vacation, and he was happy for you.
you needed the break.
you work too hard at your job, and you deserve a vacation.
he would help you pack because none of your relatives helped? that's okay, he'll get you everything you need.
with a kiss on your lips he watched as you entered your parents car and off to your vacation...what he didn't expect was you coming home two days earlier then you said you would be.
"sweetheart, your back?" he would hug you, but you wouldn't hug back they way you usually do.
you dropped your bags on the floor of his doorstep with the door wide open..the time was currently 1:06am and chuuya was in PJ bottoms and a black t-shirt..his hair was tied in a small ponytail.
you hid your face in his neck as he hugged your8 tightly, expecting you to hug back.
you just stood there, arms draped by your sides and your suitcase on the ground.
he couldn't help but smell your hair, then kissed it as he rubs your back as he spoke; "babe, have you showered?"
you shake your head, still not responsive verbally.
he takes you inside his home, taking your bags in with you as he sat you down on the stairs steps; combing his fingers through your greasy hair.
he looked at your face; it was dry and your eyes were dark and your eyelids were purple.
he took your hand and kissed each of your knuckles as he saw tears fall from your eyes, however your face stayed the same.
"could i bathe you?" he would ask, and as he waited for your response, you nod.
gently, he would lift you from the steps and carry you to the bathroom.
he sat you down on the sink and started to run the water to a warm temperature for you to bathe in.
once he filled the tub with water and added a bath bomb of his own, he slowly turns to you and softly smiles; now standing in front of you.
"i'm going to undress you now, is that ok-"
before he could move you grabbed his wrist and looked at him. you seemed scared to show him your body as you tried to close your body together.
he gave you a sad frown, kissing your arm, up yo your shoulder.
"sweetheart, i have seen your naked multiple times, and i've had no problem with what i see; it's almost as if i have a gift from heaven itself.."
you stared into his blue eyes, thinking about what to do in the heat of the moment.
you guided his hand to the collar of your shirt, and nod slowly...allowing him to undress you.
in a way to make you comfortable, he would kiss your bare skin each time he would remove a piece of clothing from your body...
once your body was bare,, he would lift you up and gently play you in the tub and rub your shoulders.
couple of minutes went by, and chuuya had just dumped a handful of shampoo in his hand and started to message your skull with it.
"i take your vacation wasn't so...memorable?.."
he would ask softly, his eyes widening when he heats your soft sniffles.
"i'm'so sorry, my'love..." he would lean down and kiss your shoulders as you hide your face in your knees and sob.
chuuya would just rinse your hair after conditioner and held your body in his arms as you sobbed and sobbed for possibly 20 minutes.
as your crying settled, he would ask you what happened and if you would want to talk about it he would drain the water and help you change, of course leaving you if you would prefer to do it on your own.
sit on the bed, cuddled close together and talking about your family.
you would say how much they take you for granted, and talk about behind your back. your mother would body shame you, saying you eat either too much or too little.
your father would always make fun of your clothing choses and when your out, he would say your too fat for that bathing suit, or you could never fit in that dress unless you start caring about yourself.
both of them would also mention how much chuuya deserved better then to be with a sad, disappointed girl like you-
chuuya would cut your ranting off by kissing you on the lips for about a couple of minutes, a break for breathing if course, and would tell you no matter what your parents tell you, they're just jealous from what an amazing, beautiful women you have become ❤️
232 notes · View notes
blondwhowrites · 2 months
Text
A/N: This is for all my autistic homies. I fucking love you guys 😘. Btw this is based on how autism shows itself in girls/women. Remember for all my autistic girlies, never ever feel sorry for being yourself ❤️
"Mattheo, I'm autistic." 
Mattheo looked at you, mouth agape. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you quizzically, obviously confused. "What's that?" he questioned, his head tilting slightly to the side. 
You stared at him, unblinking. "You don't know what autism is?" You asked, slowly processing his lack of information. Was wizard society really that far behind? Damn. You sighed, chewing on your lower lip. How was one supposed to explain autism to someone who has probably no idea what disabilities even are? 
"Well, Matty, to sum it up, I don't work like other people do," you tried to explain while sitting down next to him. "My mind works differently than yours and other people's." 
He watched you curiously, taking in your words and trying to make sense of them in his mind. "Is that supposed to scare me away because, darling, it isn't working? You're not getting rid of me." 
You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, it might scare some people away, but no, that's not why I'm telling you this," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness at seeing his positive reaction. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that being in a relationship with me will be different from other relationships you have been in before." 
Mattheo nodded, his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. "Well, I'm willing to learn. So lay it all on me, baby," he chuckled, his lips curling up in a smile as he looked at you. He watched as you wrung your hands together, and he reached out, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it. "Darling, I'm being serious when I say I want to learn." 
Your shoulders went slack, and you let out a deep sigh. The nerves you felt slowly washed away with the assurance of his words. "Well," you began.
"I have a hard time with social cues and reading people. If someone is mad at me or annoyed, I won't be able to tell unless they specifically tell me that. While some people might be able to take hints, I can't really recognize them. I need you to be straightforward with me about your feelings." Your eyes darted to his, making sure he was listening before you continued.
"I can't handle loud and crowded places that well. They make me overwhelmed and overstimulated, and that can lead me to have a meltdown. Which is when my mind practically shuts down, or at least it feels like it, and I kind of regress during those. I can't speak or do anything, and I tend to hurt myself during those, like hitting myself. I also sometimes hurt others when they try to help me through my meltdowns. I don't mean to; I just can't really control what I do in those moments. Sometimes even the slightest of things can cause me to melt down or panic. If a change of plans happens, I can sometimes have extreme reactions to it that can derail my entire day. I'm not very good with change. I stim a lot, and sometimes it can look weird. Like, whenever I'm excited, you know how I jump up and down and flail my hands? That's me stimming. Repetitive motions, stuff like that. I also have a weird relationship with touch and intimacy. It depends on the person; for example, I feel comfortable touching you, but with Blaise, I don't. It changes a lot."
Mattheo listened intently to your words, nodding along and trying to make a mental checklist. All of this was important to you, and that meant it was important to him too. He didn't care how long this conversation would take, he was willing to hear everything you had about this.
"I go non-verbal sometimes, and I can't speak or talk for hours up to days. I literally can't talk, even if I want to. That usually happens after meltdowns or when I'm feeling really intense emotions. I have sensory issues and can't wear some clothes because of how they feel on my body. My relationship with food is basically non-existent. I can't eat some things because of how it feels, and sometimes I go selective eating, and it's really hard to eat anything else besides my safe foods. I also just sometimes forget to eat because I don't really process that I feel hungry unless I'm starving. I mask my autism a lot, hence why people sometimes think I'm lying when I tell them I'm autistic. I tend to copy other people unconsciously. That's why you see me and Pansy having a lot of the same little habits. "
You finished, your voice faltering as you looked at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. "There's a lot of other things, but that's like a pretty surface-level breakdown of it." You added, looking away from him and at the ground. "Oh, and also, if you see me not looking at you during conversations, it's not because I'm not listening; it's because I'm just not good with eye contact."
It was a lot of new information for Mattheo. He'd never considered the fact that people could, how did you say it, work differently? He'd have to ask you more about it during a later conversation. "I can work with that," he shrugged. 
Your lips curled up into a smile, and your eyes slowly lit up. "Really?" you asked, genuinely worried that he was just playing with you. 
"Well, I mean, obviously, I have a lot to learn still, and I'm probably going to make a lot of mistakes."
"Everyone makes mistakes," you interrupted him. 
He shushed you, playfully pressing his finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "What I'm trying to say is that your being autistic changes nothing to me. It's who you are, and I love who you are. I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest." 
You felt tears prick your eyes, and you nodded. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Matty," you sniffled, and you squeezed his hand. 
"Like I said before, darling, you're not ever getting rid of me."
129 notes · View notes
letstripdotcom · 3 months
Text
sleeping alone- chris sturniolo
Tumblr media
summary- chris’s brothers are out of town for the week, and when the house starts to get too lonely for him to handle, he calls you sub!chris x sub!fem!reader
warnings- literally smut, smut, and smut with a hint of fluff😍 not proofread and idc
chris’s pov
matt and nick left an hour ago, and my hand is tired from how much i’ve scrolled on my phone. i get up to get a snack, when i see it’s dark outside. i look around the dark house, and it looks so empty without nick and matt to occupy it. my ears are practically ringing due to the silence of the house. when i check my phone, the time says 8:15. since i have nothing else to do, i start cleaning the house. i’ve been cleaning for so long, that i didn’t even notice the time until i checked my phone again and it was 1:47 in the morning. deciding it’s finnaly time for bed, i head down to my room. normally, i’ll share a bed with nick or matt because i hate sleeping alone. i get in bed, and i toss in turn continuously, struggling to fall asleep. the time is now 2:30 and i know i need to call someone. i open up my contacts when i come across y/n’s contact. “y/n the hottest coolest sexiest person i have ever met” she had set that name for herself once, but i never changed it because let’s be honest, it’s y/n, and i’ve always had the fattest crush on her, but of course i would never tell her that. i sighed once, then clicked on her contact
y/n’s pov
i woke up to the loud ringing of my phone. i check the glowing screen, and see i’m receiving a call from chris “it’s 3 in the morning, what the fuck?” i say to myself before answering
hello?
yo y/n!
what do you want?
did i wake you i’m so sorry
no it’s fine, are you okay, did something happen?
well i can’t sleep and i was wondering if i could come stay the night at yours for a bit, i always share a bed with nick or matt, and i can’t sleep with them gone
yeah that’s fine, just come in when you get here, the key is under the plant
thank you so much i owe you big time
see you soon chrissy
i laughed as i hung up the phone. why was chris asking me out of everyone? i mean it’s chris. i’ve had the biggest crush on him for ever. a little while later i heard the door open and shut, then i heard footsteps up my stairs. “Y/N” chris yelled out plopping down on top of me. we laughed for a minute then he rolled off my bed. “thank you so much again i don’t know what i would do without you” he smiled “you know my house is always available whenever you need anything” we got situated and ready to go to sleep. “are you all good? do you need anything else before bed?” you asked him. “i’m amazing everything is perfect” he assured you “okay goodnight chrissy” “goodnight”
you weren’t sleeping for long when you were suddenly woken up. you felt a strong grip around your waist, and the whimpers in your ear became more clear. your breath got caught in your throat. the whimpers were coming from chris, but he was still sound asleep. his hold on your waist was strong so you couldn’t move, but you had to wake him up. “chris” you whisper shouted a few times, but that didn’t wake him up. “chris!” you yelled. “fuck.” was all you heard as the hold on your waist loosened and chris rolled away. “look y/n i’m so sorry i jus-“ “i could help you. i told you to tell me if you needed anything” you and chris were both stunned by your sudden boldness. “i-i guess i didn’t know sex was an option” he laughed breathlessly. i got close to his ear and whispered “it’s always an option” you then rolled over on top of him and pulled him into a sloppy but needy kiss. you but his bottom lip, causing him to groan, which made you really feel the wetness now pooling in between your legs. you ripped his shirt off, and ran your nails lightly down the exposed skin. he exhaled sharply and started toying with the waistband of your shorts. then me moved down, gripping your ass under your shorts causing you to moan into his mouth. he kneaded your asscheeks for a little bit longer, then slowly pulled off your shorts. you became suddenly embarrassed when you remembered you weren’t wearing underwear. “fuck” chris sighed as he ran his cold fingers through your folds. you whimpered loudly. “oh my god chris” he then dove his ring and middle fingers inside of you, causing your back to arch. this action made him hit all the right places, as he pumped his fingers in and out. “c-chris don’t stop, i’m almost there” “come on you got it pretty girl” that action made the knot in your stomach snap as you released all over his fingers. he then looked you in the eyes and sucked his fingers clean. you went back to placing sloppy kissed all down his neck. you felt how hard he was through his pajama pants, so you began to palm him. he jolted forward slightly, and let out a loud moan. “y/n please” he begged “do whatever you want to me” you slowly pulled down his pajama pants and his boxers, releasing his hard dick. you then began to take him in your mouth starting at just the tip. you swirled your tongue around and licked up his slit, then in one swift movement you took as much as you could in your mouth, causing you to gag. “fuckkkk” he groaned gripping a handful of your hair. you repeated the same actions, using your hands for what didn’t fit in your mouth. “i’m gonna c-c” he tried to say, unable to form a sentence. suddenly white strings of cum shot down your throat and spilled out your mouth a little, causing it to run down your face. you continued to suck him off through his high. after he finally came down, you swallowed, and wiped the corners of your mouth. you then sat up positioning him to line up with your entrance. you rub his length down your folds a few times and looked him in the yes. “i don’t know if i c-can.” he whined with tears in his eyes. “you want me to stop?” “no! please don’t stop!” that was all the clarification you needed. you then lifted yourself up, and slowly sunk down, both of you moaning uncontrollably. chris’s grip was so strong on your waist it felt like he could crush you. you rode him as he filled your ears with praises. “ just like that. you’re doing so good, don’t stop fuckkkkk” and you filled his ears with needy moans. eventually you felt yourself clench around him, signaling your release. your clenching made him twitch signaling his release was close behind. you both rode out your highs before you lifted yourself off of him and collapsed on top of his bare chest. “guess it’s gonna be a fun week”
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
my first fic i hope you liked! ❤️
220 notes · View notes
issdisgrace · 4 months
Text
FAMILY DINNER
WARNINGS: None
Tumblr media
Another week, another family dinner. I don’t even know why I have to attend to these damn things. I got better things to do. I sigh as I enter the manor. Making my way to the dining room, knowing everyone would be there already, considering I’m 5 minutes late. Walking into the dining room, there is everyone as expected. I take note that next time I should be 10 to 15 minutes late rather than 5 minutes, so I can just eat and leave.
“Look who finally arrived.” Bruce says everyone’s attention turning to me. 
“Fuck off. You’re lucky I’m even here.” I say as I go to sit down next to the short stack. Of course, they would sit me next to the short stack. As I sit, the talking amongst one another continues up again. I pull out my phone to check if Roy responded to my text about going bowling and getting plastered this weekend. Of course, he didn’t respond yet. God, I wish it didn’t take literally fucking hours for him to reply to one text. Sighing to myself, I switch over and text Y/n. 
‘When I’m done here, can we go out and get drinks? I already feel like I’m going to one or four.’
‘I have a business meeting at 7 tomorrow that I have to get up early for so unfortunately no, but I can go out and grab you whatever.’
‘Ok. Could you get me a bottle of the good Russian vodka?’
‘Sure. Do you want anything else?’
‘No.’
‘Alright.’
I turn off my phone and place it down on the table. I go to listen to everyone else conversations when Damian asks,
“Todd, why are you wearing a wedding ring?” His question causes everyone to stop talking and look at me, leaving a oh so lovely silence. Great, I didn’t expect to be telling everyone tonight I was married. I guess it’s been a long time coming.
“Because I’m married.”
“What!!” Everyone exclaims.
“Since when.” Dick asks.
“Since a year ago. After being with my partner for 3 years.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Bruce speaks up.
“Well dear ole dad. I didn’t tell you guys I was dating anyone because I didn’t need any of you snooping into my life. Then I didn’t tell you I got married because I didn’t need you guys snooping into my life.”
“Pretty valid.” Tim says, looking up from his phone. 
“That’s what I thought too, Tim tam.”
“Rude, we just want to know if who you’re seeing is good for you.” Dick says.
“They are good for me and Alfred already approved of them, so do with that what you will.” 
“Alfred knew.” Dick practically shouts.
“Yes, I did, master dick. ‘’ Alfred says, coming out of practically nowhere with dinner. 
“I don’t know why you’re surprised dick, Alfred knows everything.” Tim said. 
“Well, does Alfred know everything about the person Jason’s married to?”
“I know quite about Master Jason’s husband, but I wouldn’t say I know everything about him.” Alfred says as he begins placing food in front of everyone, one by one.
“Husband!!” Dick exclaimes.
“Oh no, I’m married to a man.”
“He didn’t mean it like Jason. It’s just a little shocking.” Bruce says 
“I don’t care what way he met it…” 
“What is his name Todd?” Damian asks cutting me off. 
“Why do want to know, short stack?”
“I am curious as to who in their right mind would date or marry you.” 
“Oh fuck you. If you really want to know who I’m married to so badly, I’ll tell you guys but after that I’m going to eat and go home and you’re not going to bother me, ask me questions about my husband, or stalk my husband and do a background check on him. Alright.”
“Alright.” Most of them respond.
“His name is Y/n L/n.”
“Isn’t he an actor and like 40?” Tim asks.
“Yes, and he’s not 40, he is 38.”
“Damn.” Dick says.
“You got a problem with it, dick head.”
“No, he’s just what 13 years older than you.”
“Yes, and I don’t care. He loves me. He helps patch me up when I need help. He cooks for me. He gets me anything I want. And the sex is good, so what more could I want or need?” 
“We didn’t need to know the last part, Todd.” 
“Well, count your blessings that I didn’t say what we did.”
“Thank you for sparing the details, Jason.”
“Your welcome, old man. Now I’m fucking hungry and want to eat and go home, so no more questions.”
“Alright, Jason and we will respect your on not stalking, running background check, or anything of the sort on your husband. Right boys.”
“Right.” The others respond.
159 notes · View notes
justmeinadaze · 4 months
Text
I Miss the Misery Part 2 (Steve X You)
Tumblr media
Part One Here
Warnings: Toxic Daddy Stevie (but he wants to be better)/ Slightly Toxic Fem sub reader, SMUT, dirty talk, rough play, daddy kink (cause im me), choking, spanking, degrading, Slight Fluff, she loves him and he loves her but they both struggle with their feelings, ANGST, Jealous Steve AND Reader, Steve gets drunk after a bad experience with his father (he talks about it; elaborated), They both try to verbally hurt each so they say mean things to each other ( they call each other names, bring up past behavior, etc.) , cliff hanger ending!
Word Count: 7058
It had been a couple of weeks since your incident with your ex Steve Harrington. When you came home that night your boyfriend was still up waiting for you. You talked things through like any normal couple would and that night you both went to bed happy. Well, he did. You laid there for hours replaying the nights events in your head. 
You could still feel Steve’s hands on your hips where he clung to you as he thrust his big, thick cock into you roughly till your eyes rolled back. You could still hear his grunts and pants warming your ear as his sweaty body fell on top of yours. 
But more than anything, you kept going back to the conversation after. 
“Yeah, well, if we’re toxic then I’d rather go down with you than anyone else.”
“I just kept wishing they were you.”
“I feel like we can make this work.”
You had always believed the two of you could make your relationship work but the problem always was that he could never commit to it. He had you for two years in high school and he, quite literally, let you slip away. It wasn’t fair to you for him to think he could just show up one day and you’d drop everything to be with him especially when you knew it would end badly. 
A strong hand reached out from the darkness of an open door and yanked you into the room before slamming it shut. 
“What’s this I’m hearing about you going on a date with Ben Lomax?”, Steve asked sternly as he glared down at you. 
“Well, hello to you to, Harrington. I hope you had a good weekend.”
“Don’t play with me, Y/N.”
“What do you care? We’re not dating right? I can go out with whoever I want to.”
Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you watch his jealously rise. You liked amping him up like this so he’d take what’s his. 
“You’re mine, little girl.”
“Then claim me, Daddy. Make me yours.”
It felt so good having him take control the way he did even though you knew it wasn’t healthy. No… you couldn’t allow him to win this time. This time you needed to do what was right for you and Jacob. Rolling over onto your side, you wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed your face into his back, clinging to normality tightly as you finally drifted off to sleep. 
***
“Hey, baby.”, your boyfriend grinned as you sat beside him at his desk and he handed you some items in a grocery bag. “Thank you for coming by. You know how my mom is. I’d give her back these things myself but this project…”
“I know, honey. You’ve been working really hard.”, you reply encouragingly as you softly smile. 
The smell of his cologne hit you before the sound of his voice. Glancing down the hallway, you watched as Steve argued with someone over the phone as he sauntered confidently towards you both. Your body and attitude prepared for the battle that was sure to come but to your surprise he walked right past you as if you weren’t there. After angrily hanging up his phone, his face changed to a much softer demeanor as he grinned, opening his arms wide as a blond young lady eagerly jumped into them. 
“That’s Mr. Harrington’s new girlfriend I hear.”, Jacob whispers. “She’s a lot younger than him but I guess that’s expected when you have all the money in the world.”
You hadn’t heard a word he said, the fury bubbling in your stomach up to your chest. 
“I can play this game better.”
Fucking asshole. He wants to pretend I’m not here and try to make me jealous, go ahead! I’m not the same girl I was in high school. This won’t work. 
“Baby? Are you ok?”
“Hm? Yeah, sweetheart. I’m fine, just tired.”
“I understand. Hey, tonight we’re meeting at the bar downtown. It’s just going to be the team here. Would you want to go?”
Shifting you gaze their way again, you watched as Steve beamed down at the girl before tenderly kissing her lips. 
“Yeah, I think that sounds fun.”
########
“So Y/N, how is the new book coming along?”, Jacob’s coworker asked as you took a sip from the alcohol in your glass. 
“Good, thank you. I’m having some writers block but it’s not a big deal. Not as big a deal as what you guys have been working on.”
“Yeah, thankfully we’re almost near the end.”, another girl at the table sighs. “Mr. Harrington has really helped us out. He’s been buying us lunch for the office every day.”
“And letting us leave early on Fridays so we can have a bit of a break. He stays in the office to make up the time.”
You couldn’t help but smile at their praise. Steve had always been a complete asshole but even during your relationship with him you saw the compassion and kindness that hid under the snark.
“Y/N? Honey, are you alright?”, he cooed as he sat on the bench beside you. His long fingers tenderly reached out to dry the tears that were still falling down your cheeks. 
“I’m fine, Steve. You don’t have to…”, you tried to dismiss him as you waved your hand. 
“I know I don’t have to. You know me. You know I don’t do anything I don’t want to.” Steve firmly grabbed your wrists and turned your body to face him a bit more. “Now, what’s going on, babe?”
“My, uh, my grandfather died.”
At your revelation, you began to cry harder and he collected you in his arms, pressing your head to his chest. 
“Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I know you two were really close. Everything’s ok, pretty girl. I’m right here.”
“Speak of the devil…Mr. Harrington! Hey! Why don’t you come sit with us?!”, one of Jacob’s friends shouted bringing you back to reality. 
Steve Harrington was the devil indeed with how delicious he looked dressed in his jeans and black button up shirt. His signature smile blinded the table as he grabbed his dates arm and headed towards you. 
“Hey guys. You don’t have to invite me. I’m sure you’re tired of dealing me for 40+ hours a week already.”
“Oh, come on. Join us. It’s no problem at all.”
The sound of your glass slamming into the table startled everyone including Steve as he finally gave you his attention. 
“Yeah, Steven. Not a problem at all. Take a seat.”
His head ticked to the side in amusement before taking a seat and pulling his date onto his lap making you cringe in annoyance. 
“Y/N apparently went to school with Mr. Harrington here.”, Jacob explained to his coworkers who were still fairly wide eyed at the way you addressed him. 
“That’s pretty cool. You two were friends?”
“Nope. Hardly even knew each other. Right, Harrington?”, you sassed. 
Turning away from you, he focused on the original question. 
“I wouldn’t say friends. We definitely knew of each other. Everyone in Hawkins did with it being a small town and all.”
Throughout the rest of the night, you constantly fumed in his direction every time he opened his mouth. His hands constantly roamed his date’s skin driving you insane every time she would lean back and nuzzle her face into his neck. In retaliation you tried to do the same with Jacob but you knew that was a lost cause because he wasn’t very keen on the PDA. 
You drank more and more until the world around you got hazy.
“How long have you two been together?”, someone asked as they gestured towards him and his date. 
“Um, about two weeks I believe.”
“Hm. About how long she’s been in the world.”, you hiccupped as you knocked back a shot on the table. “I mean…look at you, Barbie. You’re basically a fetus.”
“Y/N.”, Jacob whispered. “That was rude.”
“No, no Jacob. It’s ok. I see she hasn’t changed much. Y/N here had kind of a reputation for being bratty at school.”
“And Steve Harrington had a reputation for being a man slut.”
“Alright, I think we’re going to go home. Come on, babe.”, you boyfriend said sternly, gripping your arm. 
“How about you guys come to my house? It’s a lot closer and you can get her to bed so she can sober up.”, Steve replied casually. 
“Oh, Mr. Harrington, we couldn’t impose.”
“I insist. Come on, honey.”, he grins as he slaps the girl’s ass playfully. “It was nice spending time with you guys. Jacob, just follow me.”
***
It took you awhile to catch your bearings when your groggy eyes opened and you realized you weren’t at home. 
“Jacob?”
Glancing beside you, you noticed his peacefully sleeping frame beside you so you left him be as you got up to find a bathroom. Wherever you were it was a very nice place with the updated furnishings and new home smell. 
It took you a moment to find a bathroom but after you did, you shut the door and ran the cool water over you face. 
What happened last night? I remember Steve showing up at the bar…a dizzying car ride…lips on mine…angry eyes. Maybe Jacob was upset for how I behaved. I need to make it up to him. He doesn’t deserve me acting like a drunk fool in front of his friends. 
Sighing, you opened the door to head back to bed but was met with a strong hand around your throat pushing you backwards into the bathroom and closing the door. 
“Are we sober now, little girl? Good because I really want this to sink in.”, Steve growled as his face hovered above yours. “If you ever disrespect me like that again I’ll throw you over my knee and spank you till you can’t handle it. I don’t care where we are or if your fucking boyfriend is in the room. Do I make myself clear?”
“What…what…I don’t remember…”
“You don’t…don’t…remember?”, he mocked. “Well, let me refresh your memory. I told your idiot boyfriend to bring you back to my house so you could rest because you were insulting my girlfriend and embarrassing yourself in front of his coworkers. When we got here, I showed him my spare rooms and left you guys alone. While I was getting ready for bed myself, the door was open and you were on your fucking knees IN MY HOUSE sucking another man’s dick AND CALLING HIM DADDY!”, Steve scolded roughly in your ear through clenched teeth.
Finally gathering your faculties, you pushed at his chest causing him to release you but only long enough to invade your space again as his face hovered just above your own. 
“I’M your Daddy.”
“Not anymore.”
“Oh? Did you also forget that you showed up at my office two weeks ago begging for my cock and calling me Daddy? Or was that some other pathetic little girl?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised with how many women you’ve fucked in your lifetime.”
“Said the whore. Let’s not forget how many guys you were with in Hawkins.”
“I wasn’t with anyone! I went on dates but the only person I ever fucked was you!”
“Yeah right. Do you expect me to believe that? Hell, you cheated on your boyfriend with me!”
“Like it matters if you believe me or not. Technically I was single in school. You couldn’t bother to be seen with me because I was fucking poor. Jesus. You say I’m pathetic but the truth is you are; a pathetic little daddy’s boy. Couldn’t even start or find a company of your own. You had to play sloppy seconds to his business!”
Steve’s palm covered your mouth roughly as he pushed you forcefully against the wall. His breathing became erratic as he heavily panted trying to control his temper. His eyes stared daggers into yours for what felt like forever till something in the air snapped and he replaced his hand with his lips. 
It was a rough kiss fueled by anger and you felt your pussy flutter at the notion. Riled up Steve was always one of your favorite versions of him because he claimed what was his in the best way possible. This is what you wanted. You wanted him to realize that he hated the idea of you not being his and fought to have you by his side. The problem was he did claim you but never truly made you his. 
Your arms pushed at his chest but his grip tightened as he held your wrists to your sides. Moving them to one hand, he utilized his now free palm to smack you before grabbing your cheeks with his fingers. 
“Do you want to stop? Say the word and we’ll stop.”, he growled. “Answer me.”
“No.”
“No what?”
“No, I don’t want you to stop.”
“I didn’t think so.”
Aggressively, he turned you around and pushed your body against the sink as he moved aside your panties while freeing his cock from his boxers. After spitting into his hand and stroking it along his shaft, you both groaned as he guided himself into you promptly setting a rough pace. 
“Baby?”
Your eyes widen at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice on the other side of the bathroom door and you see Steve smirk from his reflection in the mirror. 
“Y-Yeah?”
“Are you ok? I woke up and you weren’t there.”
The man inside you slowed his rhythm, dragging his length pleasantly along your tight walls before slamming himself back into your pussy making your eyes roll as your nails dug into the arm he had around your stomach.
“I-I’m okay, Jacob. Ahhh… I’ll be right there, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, you will, baby girl. You’ll—mmm—crawl back in beside him full of my cum like the fucking whore you are.”, Steve whispers, his lips attaching to your neck as your head falls against his shoulder. 
“Okay. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Picking up his pace again, his cock overwhelmed your senses as you tried to control yourself from screaming his name. 
“YES! I’m fine. I’ll be right there!”
“Alright, honey. I love you.”
Steve’s eyes met yours in the mirror, softening slightly when he saw pain flash through them. 
“I love you to.”
He knew you weren’t saying it to your boyfriend but to him, however, Jacob thinking your love was meant for him infuriated Steve as he spanked your ass hard before wrapping both arms around you to hold you still as he slammed his lower half into your own. 
“Who’s your Daddy, little girl?”
“You are, Steve, please.”
“Say it again so I know you fucking understand.”
“You are, Daddy. Please. Let me cum. I’ll—fuck—I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”
“No you won’t but that’s ok. I don’t mind putting you in your place.”
As his fingers find their way to your clit, you bite your bottom lip to stifle the loud moan that wants to break free. Placing your arms and hands over his own, you cling to him as your body trembles and you cum hard around him. His rhythm falters and you hear him grunt in your ear before you feel his release spill inside of you. 
Steve pants as his softening cock pulls out of your aching hole and tucks himself back into his boxers as he takes a seat on the edge of the tub. Maybe it was the headspace you were still in or just seeing him look so upset hit that soft spot in your heart but you couldn’t help it when you lowered yourself to your knees and crawled to his side, placing your head on his thigh as you hugged his legs. 
“I’m sorry I called him Daddy.”
His large palm reached out to pet your head making you sigh as you closed your eyes. 
“No, you’re not. Yeah you were drunk but your subconscious definitely wanted to hurt me and that would be the way to do it. It’s not like I didn’t do the same thing by bringing a young, beautiful girl around. I knew she’d piss you off.”
“Why do we have to be this way to each other, Steve?”
“I think the real question, sweetheart, is why do we like it?”
“Why do I like it so much with you?”, you whisper. As your tears begin to fall, he leans down to collect you in his arms and places you on his lap. “I tried, whatever the fuck this is, with other men and every time I got hurt. They were you times 10. Then I met Jacob and—”
“He’s the exact opposite.” 
“And not in a good way.”, you sigh as you caress his face with your palm. “Steve, I didn’t have sex with anyone else when we were in school. The first time I was every with someone who wasn’t you was after I left. I hated it… he was too rough and almost every conversation we had was a fight.” Turning his face towards you, you tenderly kiss his forehead. “I swear, I never called any of them Daddy. They would beg me to but it always felt wrong. Only you ever knew how to take care of me like that. I just wish you could have taken care of me in every other way.”
After softly kissing his lips, you crawled off his lap and headed back to bed to curl up in your boyfriend’s arms that you wished were Steve’s.
##################
Another week went by in uneventful domestic bliss as you continued to be the best girlfriend you could. Today Jacob and his coworkers were celebrating finishing the project they had been working on with a camping trip up north. He had invited you to come along but after what happened you thought it best to stay put. You also weren’t really a fan of sleeping outdoors without AC but you kept that little tidbit to yourself. 
You utilized the alone time to work on your novel and get things done around the house but after a couple of hours, you found yourself extremely bored. Throwing on your jacket and grabbing your keys, you headed to a bar down the way ordering the strongest drink you could think of. 
Once again, the smell caught your attention first before the snarky laugh that followed. 
“Of course. Of course. Of fucking course, YOU of all people would be here.”, Steve giggled drunkenly as he knocked back his beverage and signaled the bartender for a refill. 
He looked completely disheveled, his hair a mess due to his fingers running frustratingly through it. The suit jacket he had worn was hanging on the back of the chair while his white button up shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. 
“Steve? What happened?”
“Like you care.”
You should have walked away; left him there to wallow by himself but this nagging in your stomach wouldn’t allow you to as your worry for him took control. 
“I do care. Come on, Steve, talk to me.”
Spinning in his seat, he leaned his side obnoxiously over the bar as his glassy eyes met yours. 
“What happened. Hm…Y/N wants to know what the fuck happened. Well, we finished our project at work today. Managed to sign a huge fucking client worth millions! But does that impress my father? Oh, no. Fucker has to fly up here just to berate me and scold me on what we need to do next. This isn’t my first day on the job. I’ve watched that asshole work my entire life and he can’t even let go for one God damn second to see I did something good!”
“You’re right. I remember he was always hard on you. I saw him scream at you once after a game even though the team won and you made the most points. He said you didn’t try hard enough.” He nods at the memory, chugging the content of the glass and again asking for more. You discreetly signaled to the bartender that this was the last one as you focus your attention back on the broken man in front of you. “I hope you know he’s wrong. I know how hard you worked on this.”
“Yup. I know, Y/N. I’m not a fucking idiot. Why are you even here? I’m toxic remember?”
“You are but that doesn’t mean I want anything bad to happen to you. Let me take you home.”
“Fuck you. I can fucking take myself home.”, he growls, finishing the last of his beverage. 
“Ok. Can you at least text me and let me know you got home safely?”
After rubbing his shoulder comfortingly, you put on your jacket and pay for your drink but as you turn to leave, a warm palm abruptly grabs your wrist. 
“Y/N, um… C-Can you come home with me? I promise I won’t make a move or anything. I just… don’t want to be alone.”
***
“Oh shit!”, he laughs as he falls through the door after turning the key. 
“Where’s your girlfriend tonight?”, you ask as you guide him towards his bedroom, holding his waist as he stumbles from side to side. 
“Girlfriend? Oh, you mean Barbie?”
“That’s not really her name is it?”
Steve snorts as he chuckles, throwing himself onto the mattress and throwing his arm over his eyes. 
“No…it’s, um, Tiffany. No, Erica…Fuck, I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since you and your idiot spent the night.”
After you flashed him a sassy smirk he didn’t see, you began getting him ready for bed starting with his shoes. You thought he had finally passed out but when you grabbed his arm to take off his watch and class ring from college, his eyes opened, and he tilted his head to watch you. 
“Where can I put these?”, you murmur with a soft smile.
Silently, he gestures towards the bedside table and you reach for the drawer to delicately place them inside. Something catches your eye, however, as you pull out a well, worn picture of the two of you in high school. Steve rarely ever took photos with you back then. Nothing the two of you ever did was ever genuinely photo worthy since you two were sneaking around most of the time. When this image was taken, you were supposed to take pictures for a class project and brought the camera with you to his house after your photoshoot with your group.
“Why do you have a camera? I thought you wanted to be a writer.”, he asks after noticing it in your bag and taking it out.
“Oh, so you ARE listening to me when I talk?”
“A ha ha. You’re so funny, Y/N.”
“It’s for a class project we’re working on.”, you giggle.
“Is the project sexy basketball captains?”, Steve joked as he held the device high in the air away from your reach. “Handsome Men at Hawkins High? Oh! Or Gods in Bed?”
“No. It’s a project about Hawkins jerks who steal stuff and are TERRIBLE in bed.”
You playfully tackle him onto the mattress and lightly wrestle with him till he has both arms around you with your face against his chest. Gently tugging your hair, his lips land on your forehead before traveling down to your own for a tender kiss. 
Holding his arm high above you both, he presses his cheek to your own as you both smile and the flash blinds your eyes. 
“Where did you get this?”, you whisper as he bends towards you and squints his eyes at the image. 
“Ummmm… stole it from your room…snuck in.”, Steve sighs as he rolls onto his back and closes his eyes. “You were…gone…vanish from…Hawkins.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn off his bed side lamp but as you begin to stand, his slurred voice fills your ears. 
“Please don’t go…”
Grabbing a throw blanket, you toss it over you both as you curl up into his side and rest your palm on his chest, letting the comforting rhythm of his breathing lull you to sleep.
############
The feeling of lips on your shoulder causes your eyes to flutter open.
You had rolled over in the night and were currently facing Steve’s bland, gray bedroom wall as soft hands roamed your skin. Pretending to still be asleep, you melted into his touch as you pushed your back into his chest. Fingers gently caressed your stomach and up your shirt as his mouth continued to travel towards your neck. 
Quickly moving some of your hair away from your face, Steve kissed your cheek as his palm massaged your breasts briefly before gliding back down to your stomach. You could feel his eyes watching you as you subtly moaned, the bulge in his slacks pressing against your clothed ass. 
You allowed your lower half to grind against him as his groan grumbled low in your ear. Moving one of his arms above your head, you reached up to intertwine your fingers with his as his other hand slipped through the waistband of your pants and under your panties. 
“Daddy.”, you panted as he guided his middle and ring fingers inside of your core. 
Steve didn’t respond verbally, his teeth gently grazing your earlobe as he rolled his hips against you matching the pace of his digits.
“Fuck, yes. Please… Talk to me, baby.”, you beg. 
Again, he doesn’t answer, releasing your hand to wrap his arm around your chest and hold you to him as he moved his fingers so fast between your legs that the sound of your slick filled the room. 
Your body trembles against his as the dam breaks and your nails dig into his skin as you cum. 
Rolling over on to your back, your eyes try to find his but he hastily diverts them as he focuses on pulling down your pants. Gripping his chin, you force him to look at you. 
“Talk to me, baby.”, you repeat. 
“Why are you here?”
His question genuinely threw you off as you scanned his face searching for a reason. 
“You asked me to. You said you didn’t want to be alone.”
“Yeah but WHY are you here, Y/N? You left me, you have a boyfriend, you think I’m a bad person yet you’re here.”
“I thought you wanted to be with me. That’s why you said what you said a few weeks ago. Why do you care? I’m just the girl you fuck to feel better right? RIGHT?!”
“THAT’S RIGHT!”, Steve shouts but even he realizes he sounds insincere. “You should go home.”
“What if I don’t want to go home.”
“I wasn’t asking. Get your shit and get out of my house.”
“No.”
Angrily, he rolled out of bed and grabbed your ankle, tugging you to the edge of the bed. Before he could take hold of your arm to lift you, you smacked his cheek blind siding him as you ran out of the bedroom and towards a guest room with the intent of shutting him out. 
Steve was much faster than you, wrapping his arm around your waist and lifting you off your feet as he carried you down the hall towards the stairs. 
“Why do you do this, Steve?! Why do you push me away?!”
“Because, little girl, like you said, I’m toxic. I’m just like my father and I’m sorry to say, honey, you aren’t at the level of my mother. You’re the side piece trash my dad throws out when he’s done.”
As soon as he reaches the bottom step, you take hold of the banister and manage to wiggle out of his hold, running towards the kitchen to allow for the barrier of the island between you two. 
“Said the man who has a picture of me in his nightstand. It seemed pretty worn too, Harrington. How long have you had it? How many times have you taken it out to look at over the years?”
“I look at it when I need a reminder of how low I sunk when it came to women back then. Thankfully I do much better now.”
“Oh yeah? Like Barbie? Wait, I mean Tiffany…Erica?”, you snicker sarcastically. “Couldn’t even bother to remember her name. Do you remember any of their names? Hell, was I the longest ‘relationship’ you had?!”
He lunges to the side but you duck out of the way just in time as you move around the island. 
“Oh shit, Steven. I was wasn’t I? Even in school you had all these women at your side but they were never yours. Why is that? Because if you had been in a real relationship, I never would have continued whatever the fuck we had. Didn’t have the balls to?”
You watch his face with immense satisfaction as his eyes get darker, filling with even more fury. 
“And that’s what pisses you off the most, huh? You say I’m the side piece but the fact of the matter is you are… and that scares you. I could throw you away just like your dad did to his whores… just like he does with you… Yet instead of standing up for yourself and claiming me; proving to me you can be a good man; you act like a child. You couldn’t even tell your daddy to fuck off which is why you went to the bar to get wasted.”
Shaking your head, you size him up and down with your eyes in disgust. 
“You’re not my Daddy, little boy.”
The calmness that washed over his face frighted you a bit, signaling to you that you needed to tread carefully. You had only ever seen him this way once before back in high school…the first time.
“Steve?”
“Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck do you want?!”, the boy growls from his place on the bleachers in the now empty gymnasium.
“I don’t mean to bother you. I don’t know if you remember me but we have a couple of classes together—”
“Wonderful. Go away.”
His gruff tone shakes you a bit but you were determined to say what you wanted to say. 
“Ok. I, um, I just wanted to tell you that I heard what your parents…your dad… said and I just wanted you to know that…he’s wrong. I think you did amazing out there tonight. Honestly, I think you do awesome every game but…”
The jock’s angry yes shoot up to look at you as he scans you over. 
“Yeah. Thanks…”
“Y/N. No problem. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you be now.”
Reaching out abruptly, his hand grips your wrist and yanks you in one motion on to his lap so you were straddling his waist facing him. You should have gasped and hit him, called him a pervert or asshole, and immediately got away from him but the way he was looking up at you with those heart broken eyes… 
“You’re a very nice pretty girl, aren’t you?” You blushed at his calm, seductive tone as your hands balanced yourself on his shoulders. “Can I return the favor?”
He fucked you right there on the bleachers not caring if any one saw either of you or if you were embarrassed by someone walking in and catching you two. Steve used you till he was spent and he wasn’t gentle by any means. You loved it and he knew it as he smirked up or down at you every time you came. 
He didn’t chase you this time as you left the kitchen and ran down the hall. You didn’t know why until the man rounded a sudden corner and wrapped his palm around your throat. Pushing you backwards, he guided you towards the sofa before taking a seat and hurling your front half over his lap.
You squirmed as he held you down, yelping when his hand came down hard on your behind. 
“It’s been too long since you’ve been punished properly, little girl. Between the disrespect, attitude, and being a little whore, I think it’s time I put you in your place.” You wiggled against his hold but he was firm as one of his arms pressed into your shoulder blades. “Stop moving!”, Steve shouted as his hand came down harder than before. 
“Ow…Steve…”
You yelped as his palm came down again a couple more times. 
“It seems, Y/N, that you keep forgetting who I am but don’t worry. We’ll make sure it sticks this time. If this is the only way to get through to you, so be it.”
“Steve…please…OW!”, you whine when he spanks you again. 
“Don’t act like this isn’t turning you on. I bet if we pull off these panties, you’d be dripping like the little disobedient slut you are.”
After hitting you again, he yanks down your underwear making you groan as he slides his finger through your slick. 
“See? Didn’t I just make you cum? Look how wet you are. I told you before, honey. Pissing each other off is the shit that really gets us going.”
Minutes passed but it felt like hours as he continued to spank you turning you into a sobbing mess. Your ass was extremely sore and marked up enough that you would need to come up with an excuse if Jacob saw them. 
“Steve, please…”, you begged. “How many more?”
“However…many…more…it…takes!”, he shouted near your ear as he hit your behind between each word. “Who am I, Y/N?”
Circling his thumb along your clit, he didn’t allow you a moment to breathe as he built you up and your brain blanked. 
“Answer me, little girl!”
“DADDY! You’re Daddy, Steve.”
“Damn right. I’m not some side piece you throw away. I’m fucking Daddy.”, he growled. “People like you and my parents think I’m nothing but I’m NOT. Women scream my name almost every night. I’m the CEO of a huge firm. I make a ton of fucking money. Why isn’t that enough, huh?!”
As his palm connected with your red, bruised skin, you came drenching his lap with your arousal. His chest rose and fell in heavy breaths as he tried to calm down, Steve’s gaze shifting to you when he heard your small sniffles. 
As carefully as he could, he lifted you up and turned you around till you were sitting properly on his lap with your face in the nook near his shoulder. While you continued to cry, his hands massaged your arms while he tenderly played with your hair. 
“What color are you at right now, honey?”
One of your arms rose to circle around his neck as you softly kissed his skin.
“Green, Daddy.”, you whisper. 
Steve curtly nodded as his eyes remained forward while he continued to pet your head, allowing you time to come back down. 
“Are you ok?”, he asked in a tone you had never heard from him before. He sounded almost…afraid. Lifting your head, your palm reaches for his cheek and turns his face so his eyes can meet yours. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cross a line. I didn’t mean to…hurt you.”
Placing your forehead on his, he sighs as your fingertips run along the slight stubble over his chin and up to his lips. 
“I don’t mind you hurting me.”
“You’re not supposed to lie to me, baby girl, remember?”, he smirks as a breathy laugh escapes his chest. “You like when I’m rough with you in bed. You like pushing me to rile me up just like I do with you to see if you will because I know you’re a fucking brat.”
Steve’s grin grows as you blush, knowing he’s telling the truth. 
“The problem is you and I don’t know where the line is. It always seeped out into our day to day and into my insecurities. That’s what you don’t like. You don’t like me using you and breaking your heart. Just like I don’t like watching you cry. Not like this anyway.”
Lifting you into his arms, he carried you back to his bedroom and into the bathroom where you marveled at his massive clawfoot tub. After getting the bath ready, he holds your hand as he guides you but you pause before you sit. 
“Will you sit with me, Daddy?”
“Yeah, honey, I can do that.”
After waiting patiently for him to disrobe, you allow him to climb in behind you and take a seat as you lean against his chest. His large palms run along your shoulders and down your arms making you sigh as you tilt back to kiss his cheek. 
“You were always enough for me, Steve Harrington.” His eyes meet your own as you continue. “The problem was I was never enough for you.”
“Y/N, I’m moving to New York.” Your eyes widen as move away from him and scan his face for lies. “I was only supposed to be here for this project and then run the company as a whole from over there. I…I never expected to see you again. I…”, he pauses as he tries to collect his thoughts. “I want you to come with me.”
“Steve…I can’t…”
“Yes you can. I feel like we can work on this if we can be together. I know we can learn the line and just keep this in the bedroom without going too far and being toxic.”
“We had so many more problems than you being jealous and screaming things at me.”
“Y/N, I don’t want anyone else. I’m not the same guy I was. I won’t cheat. I won’t hurt you. I’ll claim you… I DO claim you. You’re mine, baby.”
“You just told me an hour ago that I’m just the girl you fuck and I should get the fuck out of your house.”
“I’m not perfect. Truth be told, like you said, I AM afraid of losing you again so I lashed out. I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I don’t believe you.”, you whisper. 
“Then why are you here?”
“You said—”
“No. You’re your own woman with your own free will. You still could have gone home. You still love me and I love you, sweetheart…so fucking much.”
His arms wrapped around you, hugging you to him as you began to disassociate. You did still love him; you always had even after you left but you left for a reason. You stayed away for a reason. If you and he were having this discussion 5 years ago you would know immediately that he was just doing whatever he could to appease you without really hearing you and hurt you again a few weeks later. What killed you was if this was 5 years ago and he said he was moving you would have said yes without thinking. 
Now you were overthinking and fear was taking over. 
What if things just went back to the way they were? He seems sincere but a lot of his behavior has been the same. But he said he wanted to work on that and with me. Steve said he was finally ready to claim me and that he loved me…
But what about Jacob? He’s been such a caring and patient good man. I can’t hurt him like this especially if there’s a chance Steve could hurt me again. 
You should have voiced your concerns to him and talked about it like adults. You should have sat on his couch and heard out his plans for success when it came to your relationship together. You should have listened and expressed everything you needed to but you didn’t.
“You knew what this was…”
Steve’s entire demeanor stiffened as you whispered the words he screamed at you the night before you left. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t quite catch that. Do you have the balls to say it louder?”
Rising to your feet, you grabbed a nearby towel, wincing when it grazed your behind as you wrapped it around your body.
“I said you knew what this was. It’s not my fault you caught feelings.”
He laughed to himself as he climbed out of the tub allowing the water to drench his bathroom as he headed for the bedroom. 
“Keeping going, honey. But really twist the knife and make it hurt. That’s what it will take for what you’re doing to work.” Grabbing your clothes off the floor, he tossed them in your direction as your eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to hurt me, right? To push me away because you’re scared of actually taking that leap and giving me a chance?”
Your glassy eyes shifted away from him as you threw your shirt over your head and pulled on your underwear. 
“Because that’s what I did.” You froze as he continued, slowly moving your way as he spoke. “Why do you think I fucked Lori that night? Y/N, you told me you loved me and it scared the hell out of me. I was a popular, rich, Harrington… I was supposed to become my father. I was supposed to cheat, run a business, and make a ton of money by any means necessary.”
Stopping at your side, his fingers gripped your chin forcing you to turn and look at him. 
“All I wanted to do was run away with you… but I panicked and hurt you instead causing you to run away without me. Y/N, I knew I fucked up when I climbed through your window and you were gone. I lost the one person that actually gave a damn about me and who I genuinely cared about. I’d like another chance and I promise you won’t regret it.”
“I already do.”, you murmured as you buttoned your jeans and began walking down his stairs towards his front door.
“Oh, Y/N?”, he called nonchalantly.
“What, Steven!?”, you shout as you glare up at his still naked frame leaning over the second-floor banister. 
“You forgot your phone.”, he says calmly flashing you the screen that was currently illuminating a picture of you and your boyfriend as his call came through. Panic flowed through your entire body as his thumb moved the green dot. 
“Y/N’s phone, this is Steve Harrington.”
####################
@daysinthephoenix @sophiejayne-illustrations713 @livosssblog
155 notes · View notes