#why do they have to suffer this much

[dalfurawa]

remember when i said the episode 5 hug broke me? i wasn't aware another hug will break me even more

this scene? i was ugly sobbing on the floor as soon as he pulled her into a hug because why is it a parallel to their germany hug in episode 5!!!!

the way the first thing he did was apologise to her because he read what haein had written and he finally fully understood the gravity of her decision of not wanting to get the surgery and lose herself.. he realised how precious her memories were to her and how much she was suffering as they were persuading her to live

and his desperation truly kicks in once she says "i won't be able to recognise you", "i'll become a stranger", because he sees how much the thought devastates her (i loved her acting sm here and her cries truly broke me), and it dawns on him that her decision is most probably already set in stone. but he still pleads, he begs because he will literally lose himself too when she dies

it's so heart-wrenching because one way or another they know they will lose something; for haein her most treasured memories and identity, for hyunwoo the love of his life, and they're just both trying so desperately to hold on to those things as much as they can

i'm now going to cry in a corner.

#they're SO GOOD #such great actors #i can't take it anymore this drama is not good for my heart #why do they have to suffer this much #WHY #queen of tears #qot #baek hyunwoo #hong haein #baekhong #kim jiwon #kim soohyun

[lastoneout]

ngl ALL of across the spiderverse was fantastic but that short scene where we got to see a disabled spider-person using a wheelchair and crutches while STILL kicking ass AND making jokes and puns about said mobility aids while doing so singlehandedly cured my depression and added 500 years to my lifespan <3

#spiderman is something that can be so personal actually #I have been thinking about why spiderman is so popular #and I really think it's bcs spiderman is a hero we can all see ourselves in #I don't think suffering is integral to spiderman's story exactly like I like that Miles is saying 'no we can end this cycle' #but I do think spiderman embodies how flawed we as humans are #and our drive to do good and live and get back up no matter how much pain we go through #spiderman really is so personal #and atsv proved that #atsv #atsv spoilers #across the spiderverse spoilers #across the spiderverse

[stars-obsession-pit]

A ghost that hunts ghosts? Score!

Jack and Maddie are obsessed with ghost hunting.

So when they found a ghost who seemed to have an Obsession with hunting other ghosts (because why else would a ghost fight its own kind?), they were ecstatic!

Their kids weren’t that interested in ghost hunting, but here’s someone who will definitely be able to relate with them and who could also help them with new avenues of research! Heck, he’s even using some of their tech already!

Now they just have to figure out how to file adoption papers for someone who isn’t legally alive…

#and of course danny is suffering in the background #‘why do my parents keep chasing Phantom so much?’ #‘what is this talk of a new sibling?’ #this doesn’t require a dc crossover anywhere but the adoption thing here reminds me of Bruce Wayne #so i’ll include those tags: #dp x dc #dpxdc #oh maybe jack and bruce are related #and Jack calls him up like ‘hey can i have your help adopting a kid with powers?’ #danny phantom #dp #danny phantom au #dp au #danny phantom prompt #danny phantom fanfic prompt #dp fanfic prompt #dp prompt #good fenton parents

[emry-stars-art]

Find the mer au masterpost here 💕

#jellyNeil is getting SO CLOSE to the breakthrough of starting to understand speech #but for now. it’s doing it’s best #so here is where we #playing with the timelineeeeeee #does sharkdrew meet jellyNeil before or after finning?? #kinda breaks my heart to imagine jellyNeil trying desperately with its newly burgeoning intelligence to understand what happened #why the shark can’t swim as well anymore and why he seems hurt and why he’s so much more angry #where the fin went #why the shark won’t let Neil touch the place the fin used to be #Neil realizing oh. something horrific happened #which heartbreak USUALLY means I should add it. we suffer together #okay byeeeee have a good day #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #oops all mers au #sharkdrew #jellyneil #jellyfish #digital #chibi

[uncanny-tranny]

So often, twink death is framed as a bad thing. However, the "twink death" for trans men* is frankly one of the most healing things you will bear witness to (pun intended).

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #honestly i hated being called a twink pre-t because so many people treated me like... lesser for it? #like... 'i think you are effeminate (and less of a man)... but i /guess/ you're still a man🙄! hope that helps' is how it sounded to me #and so often it seems like 'twink death' is just... fear of aging in a world that hates the realoties of the human body #i have compassion for the fear of aging however it will pretty much always be harmful to the person experiencing it... #...in that they too will age. no matter what you do to prevent aging it will still happen... #...i don't think fear is the fault of the individual - it's a systemic issue. however i think it's needless suffering... #...you certainly do not have to /like/ aging and it can truly suck at times. i just want people to think about why they fear it y'know? #anyway that's what i think motivates this apprehensive attitude about people and how they change and whatnot #though my twink death isn't me becoming a bear (in the future who knows but for now not so much)

[sysig]

Puts the “plates” in “Fellplates” (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Hurt Gaster! Do it! Maybe classic will get a shiver down the infiniteness of the multiverse! #I wonder if he'd actually do it to himself or if he'd get it put on him by someone else for the full dramatic twist haha #Who even would? Asgore from sheer force? Alphys?? Idk lol #It's just the irony for me for now ♪ #Although to completely cover them there'd have to be four rather than two :0 Hmm #Alphys' gift of fingerless gloves was a lot less invasive hm ♪ But that's part of the fun #I don't mean to keep doing crossovers - quite anyway lol - but hmm could that be 2-P from Fellplates with so much empathy in his eyes? #I guess it's the question of if Monsters Are or if they are Made ♪ Personally I'm partial to the latter but I do still fall into the former #Well either way - the important part is a Papyrus that doesn't like what he sees! He knows how much those hurt first (or 2nd? pfft) hand #And then just some errant thoughts about the Lost Soul head style and Gaster's void scars - give 'em to this version why not #Does any Gaster remain unscathed? Would he even be Gaster in that case? :) #A smile behind the white glow and tired eyes ringed by dark scars ♪ Fellplates is fun because he always looks good when he's suffering #The void smoke is still quite fun to draw hehe

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[skitskatdacat63]

"Sometimes you learn more things from the difficulties than from the celebrations"

#google play 'handsome devil' by the smiths #god he's so charming and handsome for how much this race devestated him and all of nando girles(gn) #the lighting in this interview is genuinely immaculate #like seriously why is he always at his most attractive when suffering the absolute most #he dnfs and is slow all wknd and then looks absolutely godly and beautiful #so yeah as you can tell. im very enamored by post mexico fernando #also i liked this interview it was very very comforting #you should always watch his interviews after bad races bcs they really just remove all depression you may have #like: 1. he always looks so beautiful and stunning. 2. he is usually pretty rational abt the results and comofrting #yeah the quote i picked is ultra cope ofc. but hey i love cope!!! #i was so upset and done after this race just so tired of it and then i watched this interview and i feel like a happy little creature again #fernando alonso #2023 mexican gp #2023 mexican grand prix #fa14 #we do a little bit of f1 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one

[spinach-pine]

biOlogY aS iN ... vULcaN biOlogY 🥴🥴🥴

not mine !!!

jettreno / youtube.com

#this edit still fucking gets me LMFAO #jim you dumbass 🥴 #why do you have to be like this lmaooooo #this is so funny spock's suffering so much 😭😭😭😭 #star trek memes #star trek tos #spirk #jim kirk #captain dumbass #k/s #mr spock #space husbands #biology as in... biology 😔

[theriverbeyond]

if you’re looking for stuff about necromancy as violation I always considered the cow thing to be a big example of that! Maybe it’s my inner 4-H kid, but it’s such an undignified and horrifying way to slaughter an animal IMO. It’s this drawn out, grotesque death that parallels both Mercymorn’s death and the 7ths blood cancer. It’s just such a disrespectful way to slaughter an animal, and I think you can read it as John’s first major betrayal of self, especially as it relates to his indigenous roots. Anyway. There’s just so much there.

you're RIGHT and i also think this is a case of how this is a feature, not a bug of necromancy.

death fuels necromancy, but it is specifically cruel, violent death that results in the most necromantic potential. gradual death/senescence en masse gives general ambient power (necromancy only works in areas where things have lived and died) but it is a mass of sudden violent death that flips a planet. Siphoning, in both the style of the Second and the Eighth house, lends necromantic power via an exquisitely painful process that can easily end in death. Necromancy itself eats away at the tissues, leaving all necromancers essentially physically disabled (Ianthe barely had the ability to hold her arms up to braid her own hair). Babies give off the largest burst of power when they die, and the Fourth House -- a planet that could very well be filled with only children -- specializes in suicide bombs.

and then of course you have the eugenics that is built into both the Seventh and the Eighth Houses -- and the Heptentary blood cancer specifically fascinates me because of how it is positioned as, essentially, a boon. If you get death-fuel by being in proximity to death, and you yourself are always dying, then you always have access to a very personal well of power. Until you die. "A dying woman is the perfect necromancer"..... An entire House that values short-lived necromantic potential over anything else and breeds their heirs to have this violation embedded into their blood.

and that isn't even really getting into the fact that this is just the violence that the House enacts upon it's own citizens. the majority of people on the business end of necromancy aren't House citizens at all, but non-House civilians whose death and dead bodies are hijacked to serve the Empire's purpose. but that's another essay

#(This is actually why I have a personal headcanon that 7th house adepts who suffer from the Heptentary blood cancer are the only “normal” ne #i.e. the adept who made that giant death spiral ghost ward in HtN could do it because she had access to a very personal source of thanergy) #necromancy #ask #anon #sorry this is sorta rambling i RLLY appreciate the 4H perspective #that's an angle i didn't think about before bc i have such little experience with the like #logistics and standards of practice and such of the animal slaughterhouse. much to think about #im brooding my other essay like an egg she isn't ready yet. she is really getting away from me

[crowcryptid-art]

mew meow + crunchy pixelated variant + non edited version that you were never meant to see. Pls click for quality as tumblr destroys everything lol

#ultrakill #my art #tumblr try not to destroy image quality challenge (impossible) #yet another image for the quotes nonsense #i like the colors of the pixel ver better lol #I say never meant to see cause it’s pretty rough #and I knew I was going to edit it so it didn’t need to be perfect #but as you can see a lot of the rendering on the gold was lost in editing #which is why I didn’t bother detailing it much #mainly cause I don’t have the energy to do anything fully rendered at the moment #idk how to draw people I suffer for him..

[etoilesombre]

#i can't reblog this but it came across my dash #and having just watched 4.9/4.10 again last night I NEED to yell about it #so i'm doing this #because YES #Silver does NOT fail to Get why Flint and Madi are pursuing the war because he has not suffered like they have #it's actually the opposite #we see him go through more real brutal direct pain and trauma on screen than either of them #even totally discounting the implied Unending Horrors (tm) of his past #maybe less grief but absolutely more trauma #for him the suffering this war will lead to is not theoretical #and the good it could possibly bring about very much is #and he is SCARED and trying to protect the people he loves #not to say anything about whether his choices are justified or not #but it is very clear WHY he is making them #and it's interesting how suffering in this show pushes characters in different directions #black sails #john silver

[jamiesfootball]

Technically the Richmond coaches had two chances to move Jamie to center and then didn’t take it: once when Zava showed up and once when they switched everyone at practice.

Both times they assumed he wouldn’t do it

At the very least we know he was willing to do it the second time (he even asked if they meant to give him the same position), but honestly? The Jamie who came to them worried about the effect of Zava on the team might’ve done it too. He is well on board with being a team player at that point, which he also demonstrated many times in season two. He probably would’ve been hurt by it, but he would’ve agreed to do it

(Then we could’ve had a whole season deconstructing how Jamie conflates scoring with winning with value in a way that really isn’t healthy but I digress)

For the record I don’t think this would have fixed anything. They probably would’ve figured out how effective Jamie is in midfield sooner, but they still would’ve had Zava, and after Zava there would’ve been the tension of whether to keep Jamie where he was or have him step back up to striker, especially since they weren’t doing total football yet. In a lot of ways, having Jamie step up and volunteer for it later really sidesteps a lot of drama

I’m more so lamenting the fact that with Jamie, when it came to ‘be curious not judgmental, they chose to remain judgmental of his past behavior instead of curious about his new ones.

#one of my big issues with season three is how ted really stops being curious about people #season one ted was all about giving people the opportunity to step up #jamie tartt #ted lasso #have I complained about the same thing before? also yes #would doing this have fixed season three? not really #so much of season three suffers from just. lack of payoff #which is why it’s so infuriating #there’s no one easy way to ‘fix’ the problems with season three because the problems are all baked into each other #oh you can identify points where the release of tension could’ve been more meaningful #but none of that fixes the shape the conflict took in the first place #anyways #ted lasso meta #I really am enjoying my rewatch of season three more than I thought I would

[theminecraftbee]

we HAVE to do everything in our power to make sure sands of mart gets played. like i’m not saying this as someone who misses buildmart and wants to see it played again. that’s not where i’m coming from. i’m saying this as a fan of watching people suffer. as a fan of chaos. as a fan of pain and misery. do you understand. the buildmart likers will suffer. the buildmart haters will suffer. this game makes it worse for both of them. and that’s BEAUTIFUL. this is so beautiful. i have to see it played or i riot,

#mcc #DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME #LIKE. EVEN IF YOU HATE BUILDMART. YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WE HAVE TO PLAY THIS RIGHT #WE /HAVE/ TO PLAY THIS #EVERYONE IS GOING TO SUFFER SO MUCH AND IT WILL BE /BEAUTIFUL/

[trensu]

Have an itty bitty tiny piece of stasis in darkness, just so you all have an idea of where the story is going after the godly reveal. and also have proof that i am, in fact, still toiling away at this (as well as hawkins halfway house.)

A week and a half later, Steve entered a town he’d never seen before. He wore simple traveling clothes and carried no weapons aside from a couple of carefully hidden knives. He’d left his armor and shield behind. His satchel held only the essentials one needed for travel and a single stone as large as his fist. The stone was wrapped in layers of cloth to keep it safe during the journey. 

I need you to find someone. 

He felt very bare but he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Speed was of the essence for his quest, and little no-name towns tended to be wary of strangers in plain clothes, even more so around strangers decked out for battle. Steve wasn’t sure this place could be called a town. It was so small it hadn’t been on any official map. It didn’t even have an inn. Hopefully, Steve wouldn’t be needing an inn once he found who he was looking for.

He’s too far from me to reach.

He asked around, laying on the charm generously. He explained he had been a friend of a friend and had been trusted to deliver something. Eventually, he was told where to go. The house he found far beyond the village’s boundary was small. It looked like it had once been well cared for but it was old and had fallen to disrepair. Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

A sallow old man opened the door. He was bald but had some scruff on his face still. His shoulders, stooped from age, trembled. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked so tired.

He’s my very last worshiper in all the world.

“Wayne Munson?” Steve asked.

“Who wants to know?” The man’s voice was phlegmy and rough. He coughed into the crook of his elbow almost before he could finish speaking. 

“I’m Steve. Ser Steve Harrington, pledged to the Lord of Night.”

Wayne’s eyes widened. His grip on the open door weakened and slipped. Steve caught the door before it could hit Wayne.

“He sent me to you,” Steve explained. “May I come in?”

yep, that's it for now. i told you it was small. i'm not even gonna bother with a read-more here.

#trensu tells stories #stasis in darkness #i technically have another 4.5k words written already #but it is very much still a rough draft #it's all clunky chunks of stone with all that i want to happen but has not been carved and smoothed out properly yet #also i have decided to include at least a couple of prayers #because i hate myself apparently and want to make myself suffer #a poet i am not #and i haven't stepped in a church or said prayers in literal decades #well #that's a lie #i did attend ONE mass in that time only because my mom asked me so she wouldn't have to go alone #the priest went off on the queers during his sermon and my mom never asked me to go with her again lol #so i remember none of the prayers #and even if i did #i learned all my prayers in spanish #i have no idea how they go in english #ughhhhhh why do i do these things to myself

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering