#why is it shocking

[aseyaz]

Wait ur french 🧍🏾‍♀️

im belgian actually 🤓

#we speak french too #nice to meet u nonnie #why is it shocking

[saint-vagrant]

my sign for a protest a couple days ago. grateful to be there— and won't stop for nothin!

palestine will be free.

#free palestine #palestine #ceasefire now #ceasefire #gaeilge #also why is everyone so shocked by an cúpla focail? #🇮🇪🖤🇵🇸

[galactic-rhea]

Ah yes, the "evil" family.

I thought it would be even more funny if it was Luke, of all people, the one who wanted to watch Bloodbath in the Black Moon of the Dragon System.

First || Next

#star wars #sw #star wars fanart #skywalker family #darth vader #princess leia #leia organa #luke skywalker #my art #star wars au #anakin skywalker #why would vader want to watch a slasher movie? that's his day to day #he would be annoyed at how irrealistic the murders are or something #now a space opera (but make it literal) with music? alien stuff #totally crazy the most obvious tropes are shocking

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[clonerightsagenda]

Yes, WTNV kicked off the audio drama renaissance and was groundbreaking in foregrounding a queer love story in 2012 and made a huge mark in tumblr culture at the time. However none of this has to do with sexyman credentials. What makes Cecil the Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman is that he’s a perfect illustration of how when presented with just a voice and some descriptions of truly bizarre outfits, tumblr will still overwhelmingly draw a skinny white man in a suit.

#things ARE changing #was shocked that the main Jon hc was not a skinny white man in a suit #instead they did that to Elias so it does continue #cecil sweep #why this

[tranny-man]

I think some queer people struggle to realize not everyone is public with their identity like I've had remind my irl queer friends so many times not to tell people about my identity without my permission

"Oh I know them, they're cool with it."

Awesome I still didn't want you to tell them

"You don't need to be ashamed"

I'm not ashamed I just want you to ask me first

"They probably would have realized anyway"

Cool you couldnt possibly know plus its still not your place to tell them

Like I'm a private person and I don't want strangers to know personal stuff about me if I didn't tell them myself

It's not that I'm in the closet but I still would like to be in control of how I come out to people

Besides it hasn't always been safe for me to be out in the past

#upper middle class white queers are the worse with this #i was so shocked when my college queer friends would just out me to their friends and #im like hello??? they dont even know my major yet why do they know my sexuality??

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

#i need to lay down #just drop this in there right at the beginning why not! #that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god #he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey #if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around #but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me #i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol! #and then redirect into something a little less flippant #but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it #dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT #bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says. #head in my hands. how could they do this to me #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion #bg3 epilogue spoilers #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #bg3

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[ca-3]

twitter is distracting cause i keep saving tweets to draw... anyway, this is MakoHaru to me 🤭

(Bonus: big sis is here to help....?)

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ca3 art #makoto niijima #haru okumura #comic #makoharu #?? #QueenNoir #okujima #this ship is so hard to tag #also this got WAY too popular on twitter for some reason... got 33k likes and im still in shock why and how #i think the sapphics were relating too hard but honestly same #sae niijima #kinda salty it got so popular cause its now my most popular tweet and i low key half assed this comic 😭 but glad ppl thought it was funny

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment) #this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF. #anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes) #DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn. #revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE) #and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color... #unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing. #lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way) #(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things) #man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...

[undertheredhood]

bruce 'tired single dad' wayne: *lecturing jason once again on something he did during a fight*

jason 'theatre kid extraodinare'' todd who immediately starts fake crying on the spot: do you just not love me anymore?

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #red hood #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #bruce thomas wayne #jason todd #jason peter todd #jason was never the angry robin #yeah bruce is weak to his children crying but especially jason #if jason can puke on command you best believe he can convincingly fake cry too #what's the point of having trauma if you can't use it to stop your dad from lecturing you? #bruce folds on the spot when jason cries which is why jason doesn't cry that often (jason doesn't want his secret weapon to lose effect) #most of the time jason just owns up to the things he did #so there really isn't any point in lecturing him because jason doesn't care about consequences #the first time jason fake cried in front of bruce after his death he was shocked at how it still worked #the reason why it works so well is because bruce thought jason was dead for around four years and grieved him for so long

[artiststarme]

Steve keeps brushing off Eddie’s flirting and thinking he isn’t interested while putting his all into flirting. Eddie is losing his mind until eventually he snaps. He literally jumps up in the middle of a movie everyone is watching when Steve tangles their hands together and screams for all to hear.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Harrington! Either kiss the fuck out of me or stop flirting with me like you mean it and holding my hands during a chick flick!”

Steve blinked at him. “So you mean you like me back? Well why didn’t you just say so?!”

“I’ve been flirting with you for months! As soon as you took your shirt off, I started making moves. I was flirting with you in the Upside Down!”

“Well I was a little distracted then! And besides, you should’ve made it more obvious,” he said with all the sass he could muster.

“Holy shit Steve, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he muttered exasperatedly before grabbing Steve’s face and mashing his lips to his.

#meanwhile the entire party is looking at them in shock and disbelief #Robin is just rubbing her hands together like an evil mastermind because this unveiled better than she could’ve ever imagined it #Dustin is horrified and Mike is actively planning Steve’s murder #Lucas is just wondering why seeing Steve’s hairy chest caused Eddie to catch feelings #Max understands #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #sappy #ficlet

[lazylittledragon]

story time

i was visiting my boyfriend and we were running out of youtube to watch so i suggested we watch a film because i have. a list of films i specifically want to watch with him

and his laptop is on her last legs and half frozen when she boots up and neither of us pay for streaming services so i said "well, i really want to watch skinamarink but we have to pirate it and i don't want to kill your computer"

and he just looks at me. and proceeds to pull up his adblock, his vpn and his bookmarked collection of piracy websites

so anyway i'm going to marry him yesterday

#ramble #i love him i love him i love him i love h #idk why i was so shocked but i am more entranced by him than ever #we couldn't decide between skinamarink or saltburn so we just watched the oldest view instead #also we tried watching the mandela catalogue but it was the middle of the night and we had to turn it off #we lasted two minutes #we did finish it in the morning and loved it

[soapyakships]

"We are LIVE here at the wandasho channel, looks like it's gonna be a haruka event song and-- wait, what's this!..

It's, it's, BY GOD IT'S HANASATO MINORI WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!"

#project sekai #prjsk #prsk #prosekai #minori hanasato #haruka kiritani #airi momoi #shizuku hinomori #ena shinonome #toya aoyagi #my art #you guys will not believe the shock on my face... #WHY WAS THE TEASER SO DAMN BLUE THEN???

[starryemeralds]

“i know the odds of this finding you are slim, but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place”

someone please force feed drywall to me

#i fucking cant with these two — fuck me #i literally tweeted yesterday about the idea of ed finding one of the bottles #I LITERALLY KNEW THE MOMENT STEDE MENTIONED IT IN EPISODE THAT THISBWAS GONNA HAPPEN #WHY AM I STILL IN SHOCK #god.. i’m feral #ofmd spoilers #ofmd #gentlebeard #edward teach #ed teach #stede bonnet #starry rambles

[slaygentford]

'why does lestat see claudia as a romantic rival when louis is gay it makes no sense' girl because he is insane. because he is fucking insane. because he is stephen king amy dunne last ten minutes of hereditary crazy. because he is mommy dearest the shining silence of the lambs hitchcock blonde norman bates unwell.

#I cannot be going into the tag this is a WhatsApp only program fr #the only reason why Jonah is alive is because lestat was so heartbroken and shocked that Louis would neglect miette he forgot to murder him