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skaylanphear · 3 years

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Hi there! Do you have any advice on improving traction towards a fanwork/fic? I love writing—and it's not for notoriety by any means—but having validation and feedback also feels nice (I hope that's not conceited). What would you recommend to someone without a large audience/follower base? I do "advertise" on tumblr when my work is written/updated on AO3. How did your journey start? Thank you!

This is an interesting question and I doubt most people are going to like the answers, but here we go:

So, first and foremost, you need to be realistic about why you're creating in the first place. If you're doing work in a fandom that is older, where content has stopped coming out, or that is simply smaller, you're not going to get much engagement, period. There will, of course, be activity in these fandoms, but it will be far less and the people involved—while they may view your work—will be less likely to comment/spread it around simply because there's not much going on. So if you're creating in that sort of environment (which can be a really good environment if you're looking for something chill with no pressure), then you have to be prepared for low engagement, even if the people you do meet and who are willing to talk about your work are more regularly in your sphere. You can probably make better/closer friends in these sorts of fandoms, if you're willing to try.

But, on the other end of this, if you're coming into a huge fandom late, it's also going to be harder to wade through the massive following to get your stuff out there. For example, in both the Miraculous and Sk8 fandom, I started work pretty early on, when the shows were still gaining traction, and so my "name" as a creator gained traction parallel to that growth, as opposed to when I started writing in the Voltron fandom. With Voltron, I came in super late and so what few fics I had that did gain traction took a lot longer to get there because people already had their fav content creators in the fandom, etc. It's not impossible to get popular in this situation—far from it—but it does take longer.

You'll also benefit from having finished works early on in a fandom's lifespan, at least with writing. This is because there's less competition for views and so more people will be filtered to your work, initially. This means that you have a better chance of getting those comments and kudos. Having a finished work increases this engagement because people look for finished works before works in progress. Generally, the length of a fic doesn't matter much for popularity, so long as it's DONE. When I was writing in the ML fandom, quite a few of my earlier fics were shorter, and they compete in popularity with my longer fics, because people care more about having a finished story, not a long story. That's why when it came to Only Practice Makes Perfect in the Sk8 fandom, I worked hard to get that shit done, because it was the most popular story I had in the fandom and I decided—like an idiot—to make it a long fic. Which, yeah, means people probably love it/remember it more in the long run, but if I hadn't finished it in 2 to 3 months, I'd have lost considerable traction as far as making a name within the fandom.

This leads into one of the most important points, if not THE MOST IMPORTANT point in gaining an audience—consistency. If you do want to be a successful creator, you Have To Be Consistent. This is the most difficult hurdle for all creators, and it is oftentimes impossible to make happen. If you want to aim for professionalism, which a lot of fandom creators don't care about (which is fine), then consistency is how you get there. Nobody wants to read a fic or follow an artist who doesn't stick to creating what they start (RIP all my unfinished works and the people who left me as a result, LOL). Using my most recent works as an example, I very, very, very consistently updated Only Practice Makes Perfect multiple times a week. To the point where people got comfortable expecting it, which is the key variable here. When people become comfortable that you will regularly create content, they not only stick around, but will be more interactive with you and your work. Nobody likes the disappointment of getting involved with a work only for that work to rarely get updates. Most people don't have the attention span to care. I'll admit, if I read a fic that's not finished and the writer takes one week to update, then one week, then THREE weeks, I probably will, like, forget about it. That's just life.

The best thing you can do is schedule. And again, this is the HARDEST thing to do, because it holds the creator to a deadline. Most people who create in fandoms don't want that kind of pressure—and that's fine. I go back and forth on when I have scheduled releases and when I don't, depending on what I'm aiming to do. But if you to retain your audience, telling them that you will update a work regularly on such and such a day and such and such a time, it creates something for them to remember. If they're invested in your work, they will think, "oh, it's Friday, that means such and such is coming out with something new." But, with that in mind, you also have to commit to a schedule that people will remain invested in. Which basically means you can't put things out more than a week away from each other, unless you're really, really famous, lol. If I told people I was going to go on a two week update schedule, I would lose most of my audience. But a week is long enough for people to both still remember and anticipate. That's just how the scheduling of the world works. And if you're an artist that's working on a big project, then you have to share progress, or pieces of what you're doing on a regular basis. That's what generates "buzz" and keeps you relevant. And, yeah, that's a really hard schedule to commit to, because it's a lot of work. BUT this consistency is where you see people being successful. Popular youtubers may not have gained their popularity by being consistent, but most sure do retain it that way. And again, there are outlying exceptions, but they generally ARE exceptions.

Speaking of hard work, here's probably the second hardest thing to accomplish—you have to be prolific. Especially as a writer. You have to write A LOT if you want to gain an audience. And yeah, that means you have to work, a lot. I love my work, so I enjoy that "grind," and I also have developed a lot of strategies to work around writer's block and every other obstacle that tends to catch people up. I work in a very professional manner—I do outlines, and drafts, and plan. I do a lot of stuff that people who do this kind of thing for fun can't be bothered with (and that's fine), but that's because I find it to be what works best in creating an efficient environment. I'm also very, very NOT lazy, lol. I was raised in an environment where you have to work for everything that you want. My parents didn't buy me my first computer, or snowboard, or what have you. We were tight on money and if I wanted something, they couldn't help me—I had to get that shit on my own. And I also grew up on a farm, where hard work was a staple of how you did things. You did things the right way, even if it was the hard way. You can't cut corners and it's the same with this. If you want it, you have to actually do the work, that's it. Some people get lucky with popularity, most don't. Most famous actors didn't become well-known off their first efforts, they had to keep trying and keep working and then they have to continue to do that to stay relevant. So if that doesn't sound great to you, then you might want to not focus on your audience and just create because you enjoy it, lol. Sometimes that's what I do too, when I don't wanna deal with the pressure.

Moving on, here's another point that nobody is going to like. Simply put, you also have to be good at what you do. I think some people don't realize that I've been writing fic for over fifteen years. I currently have nearly 2 millions words worth of fics on AO3 and that doesn't include a majority of the stuff I've ever written. I practice A LOT. I write every day. And I'll tell ya, when I started out in middle school, my stuff was not good. But I worked hard, I ignored the hate, and I kept going. That is the only way you will ever get better at anything. There's no quick way to become a better writer, or artist. And a vast majority of people are only going to pay attention to your stuff if it's quality work. Getting to that point is a process, on top of then creating stuff that fits into popular molds. Not only am I good at what I do (and I don't care how arrogant that sounds—I've worked my ass off), but when it comes to fandoms, I rarely write "rare pairs" and "crack ships." Generally, if it's popular, that's where I am. That makes a big difference and I honestly don't have sympathy for people who write rare pairs and such and then complain about lack of engagement. You knew what you were getting into (it's mostly the Miraculous fandom that gave me this bitterness). If you're not writing what people WANT to read, then your audience is simply going to be smaller. And that audience doesn't owe you their attention, no matter how frustrating it is or how good your work is. I could be the best writer in the world, but if I'm writing RekixCherry fic, I have nobody to blame but myself when nobody reads it. BUT if that's your passion, and writing a certain unpopular thing makes you happy, then, again, you need to not be concerned with traction and your audience.

The last point I'll make is that it matters HOW you present yourself online. A good chunk of the well-known creators in any fandom are, simply put, older people. And those that aren't, and are able to connect with those older creators, have generally created a bubble around themselves of maturity and, like, of being nice, lol. A lot of creators are skittish these days, and if you're an asshole (anti) or fight a lot over stupid shit, you may get a bigger audience, but you will isolate yourself from other creators. And this is important because oftentimes it is your exposure to other creators that will get your work circulating. The reason I got popular in the ML fandom? I wrote a short angst fic and a really popular artist shared it/talked about it and the rest was history. But if I'd had a habit of being an asshole, probably wouldn't have happened. And, granted, I'm not saying don't voice your opinions, but if you're loud all the time, it does turn people off. Especially creators because they are oftentimes the ones being attacked. They don't want to pull more of that negative bullshit into their lives. I'll admit, when I was in the ML fandom, I was down for a fight, but then that's what people came to expect, and it probably did turn others off, and then when I didn't fight, or didn't think the way my audience thought I should, it, again, turned people off. It's really not worth it unless being that type of person IS your platform.

So, that's all the advice I can give, I suppose. And even if you do all this stuff, that still doesn't mean you're going to be popular. At the end of the day, the thing that I stick to is this—I do what I want, I love what I do, and I work hard. If I'm in a position to worry about all that other stuff, then sure, I do, but otherwise… There's no easy way to become popular and, quite frankly, it's better to just "live" working hard and being a decent person than it is to focus on all this bullshit. I've created a working environment where I function within these "points" quite naturally, so it's not something I think about (except for schedules, lol). Sometimes I get popular in fandoms, sometimes I don't. At the end of the day, it comes down to how much work you're willing to do, because you will always be giving more than you are getting back, so you have to at least enjoy what you're doing.

Seriously, just do it because you love it. And if the pressure of everything above is something you don't love (I like a good, high pressure situation, lol), then don't do it that way—it's not worth the grief.

#skaylanphear replies #anonymous

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hopscotchandlemon · 3 years

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What About Us?

1368 Words

Tony/Gibbs/Reader

TW: Mention of mass shooting

Tony always thought it would be him that this happened to.

Him being a Federal Agent, dealing with people who pointed guns at him on a regular basis.

Not you.

You are a Kindergarten teacher.

The nearest you get to guns is watching kids using their hands to mimic them as they played cops and robbers or something like that.

It is Gibbs who tells him about the shooting after seeing a news flash. He drives them both to the scene where they find Fornell, who goes to find out where you were. As soon as he returns, they know it is bad news.

‘They’ve been taken to Washington General. I don’t have any more information.’

They run back to the car. Tony feels a knot in his stomach. He worries that he’s not told you enough how much he loved you, that he may not hear your voice again. That your last moments on this earth might have been filled with gunshots and dying children. It is terrifying.

His biggest worry was that you will have needed him, and he won’t have been there.

At the hospital, Tony and Gibbs fight their way through the scores of people in the ED. Finally they find a nurse who tells them you are in surgery and directs them to where to wait.

Never before had minutes felt like hours. Tony was grateful his boss had stayed with him. Both men are silent, but the company is appreciated. Gibbs has never known Tony so quiet. Even Bubonic Plague didn’t shut him up.

The day stretched out. Fornell comes and finds them. He wants to know how you are. Both men shrugged. Still in surgery was the only update they had.

He tells the Agents how you’d saved the lives of your entire class. You’d made them all squeeze in the cupboard the moment you’d heard shots, somehow managing to keep them calm at the same time. You’d been caught making your way to your own hiding place by the indiscriminate shooter.

Tony hears what Fornell is saying, but doesn’t really take it in. All he can focus on is the door through to theatres. Eventually, someone comes out that door and heads over to them. They use words like blood loss, critically ill and intensive care but all he concentrates on was that you are alive.

Eventually, Tony is allowed to see you and sit with you. Gibbs pops his head around the door but leaves Tony to be with you, making sure he knows just to call him, and he’ll be right back.

He spends the night at your side. Alternating between being sat holding your hand and dozing in the chair. McGee visits in the morning, bringing his colleague some coffee, food and a change of clothes. Your condition is unchanged, and you remain unconscious. Doctors tell Tony they would expect you to wake up in the next 24 hours. In fact, you wake up 7 hours later.

You are aware of Tony’s presence, everything else is confusing and you just don’t understand what’s going on. But you can heat Tony’s voice and feel him squeezing your hand. After the tube is removed from your throat, you fall back asleep. Waking again, Tony is still at your side and this time when you open your eyes, you can focus.

‘Hey Sweetcheeks,’ It was such a Tony thing to say.

‘Tony the kids…’ you stutter with alarm, a sudden flashback floods your senses

‘Your class are all alive and unharmed. You saved them,’

The relief you feel is short lived as you remember more about the panic you’d felt. Tony’s hand grips yours a little firmer and you can hear the beep of the heart monitor increasing constantly

‘You’re ok, you’re safe as are all your students. It’s over,’ Tony strokes your hair with his other hand, his voice soothes you back to a regular heart rate.

The next morning, Gibbs visits you. He agrees to stay with you while Tony goes home and gets a shower and picks you up some things. Gibbs might not be the greatest conversationalist, but he’s a good listener and right now you need to talk.

‘Everyone keeps telling me I was so brave and that I saved those kids, I’m a hero, but I wasn’t brave.’ You tell him, biting your lip with embarrassment.

He sits in the chair Tony has spent most of the last few days in and fixes you with a look.

‘How do you figure that?’ he replies.

‘Do you know what my first thought was when I heard those shots? It was to get myself somewhere safe. I eventually thought of the kids but they weren’t my first priority. I was terrified. None of that sounds very brave to me.’

‘Really? Because it sounds perfectly natural to me,’

You look at him, He isn’t the type to tell you what he thinks you need to hear so his words surprise you.

‘Everyone is scared in a situation like that. Some people run towards the danger, some people freeze, some run away. Those kids might not have been you very first thought but they were your second and you did what you needed to do even though you were scared. Those parents owe you their children’s lives,’

You think about it for a moment. You understand what he is saying but is still makes you feel uncomfortable.

‘Is it OK to not really like the hero tag though?’ you query.

He lets out a hearty laugh. ‘Yeah, that’s fine. ‘The publicity will die down and you’ll be able to get on with your life. Those parents though, they won’t forget.’

Tony returns with your things. Gibbs gives you a kiss on the forehead and a squeeze of the hand before he leaves

You spent the evening with Tony at your side. You held hands and watched some cheesy movie on the TV. Tony sleeps through the last half an hour. You know he’s been here with you since it all happened. When he wakes up, you order him home for the night.

He does as you tell him and for the first time you arrived at the hospital, you are alone. The nurse brings you your night-time pain relief and within minutes, you are fast asleep.

The sound of Tony singing is the first thing you hear when you wake up. You smile at him as he dances around the room putting your clothes away and unpacking bags of snacks.

‘Some one slept well,’ you tell him.

‘Why yes I did but I also had time to do some thinking,’

‘Oh yeah, what have you been taxing the grey matter with?’

‘Us, as it happens,’

‘What about us? You’ve not been thinking about bed baths again, have you?’

‘Well yes, but not all the time.’

In the two years you have been seeing Tony, you can honestly say there had never been a dull moment. You love that he is so lively and energetic. But you also love that there was a serious side to him that most people never saw. Those serious conversations always started like this one, so you steel yourself for what is to come.

‘I thought we could move in together. You will probably need someone around when you get out of here. We can try it out for that and if you want to, we can find somewhere together once you’re better.’

Little did Tony know, you’d been thinking this same thing only a matter of weeks ago. You know you have lasted longer than any relationship Tony had ever had, and this feels more serious than anything you’d ever had before.

‘I think that would be a good idea,’ you say gently, a smile spreading across your face.

Tony is smiling back at you. He’s been really scared these last few days. When he thought about not seeing you again, it gave him a sense of perspective. You are more important to him than most things in his life. He doesn’t want to waste another second. A wicked grin replaces that happy smile.

‘Maybe we can talk about that bed bath now…’

#Anthony Dinozzo #dinozzo x reader #Leroy Jethro Gibbs #Tobias Fornell #ANGST AND FLUFF #ncis fanfiction #ncis #gender netural reader

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juuls · 4 years

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What’s going on with me & why I won’t be writing for a while

I obviously have Bipolar II and have learned to ride the ups and downs pretty well in recent years, even if some things still surprise me on occasion. But what I’ve never been able to properly treat or learn to deal with is anxiety. I’ve always had GAD (general anxiety) but it’s been untreated since I had so much other shitty health to focus on. Prioritization, right? And I needed all my faculties to not end up dead at the hands or by the gun of my ex. Then, after I left, I was making strides in recovering from the severe abuse and trauma at my ex-husband’s hands, sharp tongue, and actions from July 2017 until... well, it’s still an ongoing process, but this whole year, part of 2019 too, has been a lot better on the healing front. The strides I was making helped me focus on things other than my anxiety, but after dealing with those things, the anxiety started crawling insistently in. And apparently in a far stronger version than GAD.

Didn’t help that I finally felt up to checking out what was going on in the world more often (what great timing, brain; nice sense of humour). And it’s been good for me, it has... in that I’ve become better educated in the awfulness of the world, which has allowed me to call out racists, ‘Truthers’, and other asshole bigots who remind me of my ex. The downside of all that is that I am way over-empathetic and am appalled at the absolute.... *makes incoherent helpless noises*... just, appalled at EVERYTHING. And I am afraid. And worried. And angry. And a slew of other words that I’m sure every one of you get. You’re all intelligent; you know what’s going on in the world.

And sometimes I devolve into apathy, sometimes sleepless nights (I get about 16-20 hours of sleep a WEEK right now, which should be in the 40-60 hour range, frankly), increased pain on top of the fuckton I’m already in, worsening migraines, dizziness, and the intrusive thoughts of my bipolar depression keep telling me there’s an easy way out of this all. That’s when I knew I needed to do something. So sitting down with my loving father and my caring psychotherapist, I put together a list of my symptoms, what I wanted to tackle most, what I was willing to let go, how all of it interacted (cocktail medications, which I’m already on, can be dangerous and deadly), and then put together a proposal for my doctor, who’s been my family practitioner for two decades.

When you hit the point of panic attacks weekly, and not being able to sleep, even with a double dose of your sleep medication... when you don’t want to watch the things that bring you some modicum of joy for fear of aspects reminding you about the real world... when you wish you simply didn’t exist anymore... you need help. I needed help, and I won’t shy away from discussing that in a public setting, for the simple fact that someone who reads this might need to hear that it’s not the end all be all, not the end of the line, not the end of your life. So with the support of my father and my therapist, who I spoke to last night and this morning, respectively, in advance of my doctor’s appoint this afternoon... My doctor listened attentively to me and gave me permission to go on benzodiazepines again. I will be taking one daily, the one that doesn’t have nearly as great a spike of effect, but lasts longer and steadier, and will also be taking the other, spikier one, as the equivalent of a rescue inhaler for the next panic attack.

I’m not trying to hide from what’s going on in the world. But there is a line I need to learn to respect in how much news I look for, how I consume it, and how I let myself run away with myself at any injustice I see. And fuck, there is a lot. I will still be keeping abreast of the news, still educating myself, still engaging in discussions with people I trust to be kind to my mental state as best they can in the situation, and other things. This will simply make it so I don’t devolve into an incoherent mess of a breakdown/panic attack, and most importantly it will keep me from suicide. It’s never been much of a threat for me, but lately...? Let’s just say I am a bit more concerned than usual.

Gotta love brains, eh? Mental illness sucks. But this is one way I can take control. Other ways include the Nutrisystem diet I recently started, going for regular walks with my pupper and dad, reading 42 Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and counting in 2020, breathing exercises, removing harmful elements from my life even if that pains me in the moment... at least I’m making progress in other areas than just medication.

But what does this mean for my writing? Well. Good question. The last few times I took the stronger of these two medications (on a more daily, vs rescue, basis), well, I didn’t write hardly at all. I have hopes for being able to write during this, with the more steady medication, but I also have to feel happy to write, and the state of the world isn’t going to give me much opportunity to feel that for months yet, if not years (go and goddamn vote)... so yeah. But I realized that I don’t put myself first in big ways like this. And this time I need to. If the writing happens, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t? Well, I’ll settle for less anxiety and not being dead, and I hope that that’s okay with y’all. I know it’s frustrating when a favourite author takes ages to update, and I’ve always been fairly guilty of that... but you all know that I ALWAYS come back. That’s what I do. I love this community, this fandom, my beta, my readers... you make it all worth coming back to.

So please, all I ask is that you be patient with me. I’m experiencing a pretty severe mental health crisis and not holding on too solidly. But I’m thinking of you. Thinking of all of you, and just how much I appreciate you.

With love, Juulna / Meaghan

💋

(Bonus post: why I can’t write when my anxiety is out of whack. Quick answer: I am way too overempathetic and I get overwhelmed.)

#writing #my writing #hanging from a cross of iron #stuckony #update #status update #mental health #mental illness #anxiety #anxiety disorder #medication #tw: suicide #suicide ideation #i plan to write #but right now i'm focused on not letting my OWN story unravel #that's important too - right?

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channelmono · 4 years

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ANNOUNCEMENT! HIATUS AND EXCITING NEW PLANS

Greetings from the moon, my friends! If you haven’t already watched my last video, I’ll be going on break again from daily content (this is an important distinction), this time for an unknown length of time. Don’t worry, regular daily content WILL resume at some point, and I already have many plans of stuff I wanna work on ready to go! But I’ve realized: I need a break really badly, for a few reasons.

Let’s start with the logistics: filming has been an increasingly uphill battle. I’ve been doing this for a little over a year now, and in the process, I’ve continuously strived for improvement, both to make things more fun for you, the audience, and also to freshen things up and keep things fun for myself. Better editing, better filmmaking equipment, more costumes, more props, more intricate video ideas, and just generally trying to up my quality in all regards.

Recently, however, I feel like I’ve reached a peak where the quality of my work has started to negatively impact the enjoyment of it to a substantial degree. I can persevere through the hard work because I enjoy it, but something they don’t always tell you is that “hard work” is a constantly-changing standard that you must re-evaluate for yourself on a regular basis. What is a good day’s worth of work to you? Are the standards you put on yourself too much for any given time? Are you TOO hard on yourself?

As of the last few weeks as I was filming this continuous narrative arc, for the first time, I felt myself burning out because I was giving myself increasing workload to a standard of daily releases that was not made for it. I wish I was able to bring myself to gain more actual footage of my conversation with the moon in [Contact], but I couldn’t as I became so drained of creativity that I couldn’t figure out how to visually film that, and was just exhausted by previous filming sessions (it’s been really hot lately, and that kimono outfit is surprisingly really hard to get into, lol).

Speaking of difficulties in visually filming things, I’ve also struggled in resources and budget. As you could imagine, pandemic life has made it significantly slower to get better filmmaking equipment, more costumes, more props, and thus film more intricate videos, and also my ability to afford them has gone down dramatically. Finding work is also a pain, so I don’t exactly have as much financial freedom here.

Here’s a couple hard truths about what I do that I had to take into consideration: 1) filming content regularly in a way that’s fresh, exciting, continuously-improving is a monetarily expensive pursuit. 2) In this year-plus that I’ve been doing this project, it has NEVER been anywhere close to profitable. While I have a Patreon and Redbubble, they are very low-activity and I only make couple dozen bucks per month, which further decreases my options (I also can’t monetize my Youtube uploads, not that they get much viewership there anyway haha). I do this channel out of love and entertainment, but even I have a certain limit within realism that I have to work within.

So, what’s the plan for now?

Well, good news! While I will be holding back on mentally/financially intensive works for now, I will still be pursuing other projects aligned with NO SIGNAL STUDIO, and providing much-needed foundation for Channel Mono when it relaunches!

Within the next week, we plan to at long last have the NSS site up (we got the “nosignal.studio” domain!) to host our work, including Channel Mono. This will not only link our content onto an easily-accessible hub more sophisticated than linktr.ee, it will also also act as a blog/news outlet so we can make long announcement/update posts rather than crammed social media posts like these.

In addition, I’m pushing for more Patreon incentives, including a new set of perks I’m excited to try: CUSTOM MONO VIDS!

Starting from $25, you can send me a script every month for a short, simple video (dialogue skits, personal messages, video threats, etc.), and I’ll record it for you! There will be further tiers for additional complex features (different costumes, increased length, elaborate post-production, etc.), and depending on how it goes, I may pursue this even more!

I’ll also be opening more patron goals. Once I get past a certain budget threshold, I plan on holding monthly polls to decide what new outfits to get. Fun!

As for the future, the general trajectory for daily content will be more of a return to lower maintenance, less narrative-based skits, refreshing my work ethic and hopefully being less strenuous for me. I want to hit the ground running, but I don’t wanna quickly exhaust myself again haha.

This is only a respite for now. Once I recuperate and get my other endeavors finished, I should be returning to daily content soon. Thank you for understanding, my lovely monitors! 🖤🖤🖤

#tv head #object head #object head cosplay #tv head cosplay #channel mono #mono #cosplay #text

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kshitij1997 · 4 years

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Greetings, people!

Oh, damn I haven't done this in some time.

Well, the life of an engineer is a hectic one and I had written myself into a corner and was blocked for many days as a result. Not anymore. I have decided that I would update this once a week from now on.

We're getting somewhere in this, hopefully you people enjoy it.

All frozen and Tangled characters belong to Disney, all I own is this head-cannon and the original characters.

Let's continue!

Chapter 6: Of children fortunate and not so fortunate

Throughout Europe, the new year was always celebrated with utter pomp and show, what with firecrackers bursting in the city centres and town squares and if there weren't any firecrackers at hand, one could always fire a musket up in the air. Singing, dancing, drunken behaviour, smashing of public property, brawls and general noise. It was comforting to see that even though the major empires were coming up and clawing at each other's throats on a regular basis, nothing would really dampen the typical European spirit even if some drastic changes ever happened.

Which is not to say they didn't have different customs. The Ottoman Sultan for example, would start celebrating three days in advance, binging and drinking while being surrounded by scores of concubines, throwing golden medals and eggs onto the streets for all his citizens to collect. This pious act of charity was ample for the people to forgive the Sultan his misgivings. As for the Tsar, the rumoured massive drinking appetite of the typical Tsar held strong and displayed itself in all its glory during the coming of the new year, singing, jumping on tables, screaming Moktor! a drinking chant he had borrowed from his Arendellian ally, banging a kettle drum while removing his royal tunic and tying it around his forehead, it certainly wasn't a sight the typical Russian nobles would forget easily even as they were busy distributing free beer and bread throughout St. Petersburg. The royal family of the Southern Isles always started as a family dinner but dissolved into everyone getting wasted and threatening to kill each other right then and there. However, for some unexplained reason, they always ended up weeping and caressing each other. One could be forgiven for thinking that it was an Irish wake, unsurprising as the Southern Isles had some sizable Irish ancestry. As for the Duke of Weselton, it was an opium binge, smoking up into the wee hours of the morning. If one made the mistake of asking the duke his plans during such a session, they could be trapped there for the rest of the day and miss the blessed celebrations. Now that his merchants had begun smuggling Marijuana from central America, those plans became more outlandish every passing year as the intoxicant made its way in the duke's habits. The Monarchs of Corona were more chaste and less dramatic in comparison, nevertheless it didn't stop them from holding a quirky national lottery at the end of the year in which save the crown, the state and the Monarchs, nearly everything was for grabs.

It could be a normal brooch, or a kettle, or something outrageous like the ancient Dusseldorf cathedral, or even better, the Munich Palace of Justice. However, short of the royal palace, nothing truly awed the people of Corona as the Mansion, a building so singular and unique in the Rhinelands that it had acquired a legend of its own. How that massive building was built during the earliest crusades in the holy lands, had sheltered thousands of innocents in the mindless massacres which was a hallmark of said crusades, how the same building became a terrible final place for those unfortunates who were accused of witchcraft and found guilty, how said building harboured the Coronian resistance as they battled the Habsburgs for the identity of Corona in the thirty years war. One could see that the Mansion was home to centuries of history both good and bad, a monument to human suffering and human triumph; it was a matter of prestige and honour to those who lived there.

Since the passing of the Patriarch, the Mansion was up for bid for the first time in fifty years. Unfortunately, the Mansion had been burned down, some said it was a careless baker, some said it was a figure as dark as night, yet many believed that it was Flynn Rider, the little boy who cast a gargantuan shadow in all of Rhineland, where some thought he was a hero who avenged someone dear to him and brought down tyranny, while some thought he was a rat bastard, who sold out everyone from his trade to escape the noose and ruined the businesses of the Rhinelands. Ah well, the public could never make up its mind.

Even though the public was upset by the loss of the Mansion, they had to agree that the Monarchs were generally generous in the lottery and accepted the loss with a heavy heart. After all, a cooking pot was much more useful in cooking than an entire monument , no matter how symbolic it was and how brightly it burned into oblivion.

Last but not the least, the kingdom of Arendelle often saw a lot of parades and street performances around that time of the year. Typically the various students who had come from abroad to study would often bring out a procession, banging some drums, beating some cymbals and singing songs in unison in their native languages, becoming a crowd of thousands as they used to go door to door, either offering food and gifts, and inviting those to join them who weren't in severe want. The fact that It always snowed in the final fortnight of the year as if on clockwork never dampened their spirits. The evenings would often see people from all strata of Arendellian society coming together without social barriers. In recent years, the crowds had started becoming rowdier and more rambunctious, but they all settled as the Monarchs addressed them from their pedestal at the Royal Palace, bringing the year to a dignified end and rousing hopes for the new year. The Palace courtyard itself often became a fair ground, with various stalls selling delicacies, trinkets and souvenirs.

Queen Iduna had always enjoyed the fairs at the palace and meeting foreigners in the parades when she was a commoner, and now she loved it even more as she had her husband to share that joy with. It was a common sight to see the royal couple strolling around, meeting the stall owners, trying some exotic foods and relishing them. Now with baby princess Elsa, they had developed a very sweet tooth as well, they had been spoiled for chocolate as the baby girl always went gaga over the sweet. Even though she hadn't yet spoken, by now her parents were well acquainted with sounds of disapproval or enthusiasm coming from her. For example, when Elsa tried to nibble on any sweet, she would always gurgle and moan and form wisps with her tiny fingers, which always succeeded in bringing a smile to the couple's lips. After the exciting parades and stalls of food, the evening had surprisingly become calm as it approached the new year. Princess Elsa had had an active day, and now was sleeping in Queen Iduna's arms in the royal bedroom, her face buried into her mother's bosom.

"I guess Sophia is to take the credit or the blame for this" grinned Agnarr.

"Ha, yes surely. I wouldn't put it past her at all." smiled Iduna "However it's a shame Elsa can't drink the hot chocolate yet. It's getting lonesome drinking it by myself."

"What does that mean? It is OUR drink, right?"

"It was once, but then you got self-conscious about your health and everything." Iduna teased.

"Well, I can't really flaunt my stretch marks for my certification of fatherhood." Agnarr teased back.

"That was rough. Parenthood has changed you for the worse." Iduna laughed after staring at Agnarr for nearly a minute about that comment.

"On the other hand, I think you've become soft, I still remember the day you made the Duke of Weselton shit himself." Agnarr smirked.

"Boo you, I'm with child." Iduna accepted the challenge "I can still drive you around in circles, you know? You remember earlier today, when I made you cook an Artichoke salad for my cravings. Oh god, you were hunched over the damn stove. Good fun. And a story the whole litter would enjoy someday." Iduna finished with a laugh.

"A whole litter? Dammit woman." Agnarr laughed.

"Yeah, better stay in shape." Iduna smirked.

"Alright, I admit defeat. I swear I can still hear the blessed kitchen ladies sniggering." Agnarr backed off "Ah well, another bun hmm?"

"Yes, another bun. Due in early spring, if Dr. Klaus is to be believed."

"I would wager my life under his knife, should the day come." Agnarr said quietly.

"Hush, don't say that." Iduna whispered. "It'll be a new year in a matter of minutes, how can you think of doom at such a precious moment?"

"It's because I know how life can turn out for a lot of people. I tell you Iduna, all things considered we are luckier than most, and I know fate has a way of balancing the scales." Agnarr replied with an inscrutable face natural to kings, but Iduna knew better.

"Look, it's true we have been fortunate. However, we've had our share of suffering as well. We both have lost a lot in order to find each other and come together. You know, I still wake up sometimes looking towards the North, reminiscing what could have been if somehow war didn't break out, and I would have become a herald for the voice, be one with the fifth spirit, who knows? However, I do know that if I hadn't ventured south, I would have never met you. Not to mention the peace we brought together, the people we have allied with, the thousands of opportunities that have opened for the people because we have worked together and a lot more. Sure, we can lament what we were forced to give up, but then we wouldn't have this, and we certainly wouldn't have Elsa." Iduna consoled him.

The king of Arendelle gave a weak smile and continued " That is true, but her abilities do make me nervous. I hope we can mitigate any problems that arise from the fifth spirit's blessing."

"We got some time to figure it out. I know what you're insinuating, no need to say it out loud, anyone could hear us. Look, the key here is proceed carefully, and to make sure she's not afraid of herself. We'll be there every step of the way, and I tell you this, our baby is going to dominate the world." Iduna reassured the king.

"We certainly can't let them do what they did to Rapunzel." Agnarr shuddered at the mere thought of the incident.

"That will certainly not happen, believe me. Elsa's a light sleeper, if anyone other than us dares to take her, she'll shriek and bring the castle down." Iduna tried to ease his worry with some humour.

"Ha, our proud little banshee." Agnarr grinned.

They were interrupted by the fireworks bringing in the new year.

"godt nytt år, Iduna." "godt nytt år, Agnarr." Said the royal couple as they embraced, and Iduna felt Elsa smiling in her sleep.

While Elsa may have been at perfect peace with the world in that moment, another infant was not so lucky.

"Another fucking year gone." Hissed princess Paulina of the former kingdom of Poland, as she tried to rock the five-month-old prince Hans to sleep in his cradle. The baby prince had always had trouble sleeping, but that was to be expected as babies generally need contact to grow properly, however the princess in question didn't believe in it.

"Another year gone to shit, and I am just another windbag for your fucking father, eh kid?" the princess made a point not to join the new year's celebration, citing colic as her cause of worry, but truth be told, she could never tolerate the whole family together at once. She was alone in a strange land, among strange people who didn't think too much of her; Afterall, they had seen many like her come and go over the years. The only joy she found in her life was the one thing or person she could claim to be her own; her infant boy Janus, or Hans as his father preferred to call him.

"Your father professes his love for me, yet betrays me everyday with those loose women that lick his balls all day, his heart condition doesn't flare up then, does it? He doesn't fucking keel over then, does he? Your father promises he'll bring justice to my homeland, and then has the entrails to stab me in the back by sending his fucking lapdogs to participate in the massacre of my poor people?!" She foamed at the mouth. Little did she care that her kid could not console her or understand her yet, her bitter vitriol needed to flow somewhere, and her infant was in the unfortunate way.

"But remember this Janus, someday you will bring glory to all of Warsaw, and bring justice to all of Poland and her murderers." Whispered the princess as she calmed down and reached out to her child. The baby was only too glad for the contact and grabbed it with both hands.

"Good boy" whispered the princess with a smile to her fateful son, but the smile disappeared as she remembered what she had set out to do. The sheer memory of her father's murder by the Russians' firing squad as her family's ancestral home of over three hundred years burned to nothing, made her blood boil to vapour. But she knew better than to make a public display of her misery. No, she would wait, and hold fast as her fateful kid would hopefully bring Europe to heel one day. But for that to happen, the child needed toughening up and foolish superstitions and fancies like love and family had to be quelled before they did any damage to her 'chieftest pearl'. She pulled her hand away from Janus and walked to the window, not caring that the baby prince had started wailing loudly.

"Great, let it out, it's just pain and anguish leaving you, little prince of destiny." Whispered the now inscrutable princess as she witnessed the coming of the new year fireworks and chants from her dark little room.

"Godt nytår, Janus."

More than 900 miles away, a craven boyish figure on a horse had nearly crossed the borders of Corona into France as he approached the city of Alsace, when he decided to take refuge into the chapel two miles ahead of him. The new year celebrations had long ended and everyone had fallen asleep, save for the priest in the chapel. Eugene walked up lead footed and tired from the expedition up to the chapel doors and then he knocked on the door.

The priest opened the door silently and saw the gruff boy and took him in at once. Now, Eugene's week-long ordeal had exhausted him, and anything he could beg for was enough to feed only either him or his horse. More often than not, Eugene chose to feed the worn-out horse. But now, finally some good shelter for both the horse and Rider.

"Comment tu t'appelle?" the priest asked in a language Eugene didn't fully understand. When the priest didn't receive any answer that he could expect, he got up and peaked outside in the direction from which the little boy had ridden in.

"Tu parle Francais? Parlez-vous allemand?" The priest asked.

"Je parle allemand." Eugene replied in the little broken French that he knew.

"Ah, Deutsch." Replied the priest. Then he went in, brought a spare change of clothes and some bread and stew left from the celebration, and a quilt and mattress for the little boy.

"Essen, mein Kind" spoke the priest as her made the bed.

As Eugene bit into the bread, he couldn't hold back any longer, and burst into tears.

The priest patiently waited for him to calm down, then asked him in German "What's your name?"

"Flynn" the kid replied, his voice still raw from sobbing.

"You are far from home, aren't you?"

"I don't have a home, not anymore."

"What happened to your home, your family?"

"It got burnt down, I tried to get help, but it was too late." Flynn lied, fearing what could happen if he answered honestly.

The priest replied "It's alright, my child. Please rest now, you may stay on or leave in the morning if you wish."

"Danke, Vater" Flynn said.

"Frohes neues Jahr, mein Sohn. And don't worry, your horse is safe." The priest smiled and said quietly.

Well, it was a different tempo for me in this chapter, trying to show one day from a lot of different perspectives. I'll just say poor Hans for now.

As always, constructive feedback is always welcome.

#frozen #frozen elsa #frozen angst #hans frozen #frozen fandom #frozen fanfiction #frozenxtangled #eugene tangled #frozen agnarr #frozen iduna

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suicidalcatz · 5 years

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DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 8

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4 ; Chap 5 ; Chap 6 ; Chap 7

Masterlist : Here

AN : Hi guys! I can’t believe I made it this far ! Last chapter did so poorly I’m having a life crisis, I hope you’ll like this one better, it’s the calm before the storm. I’m wondering if I should update more than once a week so I asked the lovely @brightonfleet and I’ll try to post on Wednesdays and Saturdays now, since the chapters are so smol. Thank you for your love and support, feel free to comment and send me messages, see you on Wednesday ! (Also the title isn’t clickbait this is my gift to you).

Chapitre 8 : Is he naked ?

One thing I never knew was that one day I'll be pissed at « Friday I'm In Love » by The Cure. My head felt heavy as I sat on the bed, eyelids still shut tight, budding headache waiting in the corner of my head for the perfect time to screw me over. I could feel the burning sunlight trying to attack my eyes even behind their curtains, bathing the whole room in their warm rays like they owned the place. It smelled like food, and someone hummed along Robert Smith's singing, so Mandy was already awake. Painfully stretching and rubbing my face, I rolled out of bed, carefully taking in the light in the room as I finally opened my eyes, trying not to trip on the covers. Yawning, I dragged myself to the kitchen to greet my roomate.

- Hey.

Mandy turned around when she heard my grunt, spatula in hand. The table was already set, with orange juice, bread and cutlery, which I almost knocked over while putting my elbow on the table.

- Hi dude. No offense but you look like a truck ran you over.

- Fuck you, my head hurts so much already, how come I'm hungover and you're not ?

As a response, she shrugged, looking like she herself didn't know the answer to that. But like the good friend she was, aspirine was alredy on the table next to a glass of water. Oh I remembered now, she probably wanted to apologize for her screw up yesterday night. I couldn't blame her nor get mad at her though. It slipped, it happened. And besides, I think we saved this whole situation by lying terribly and then drink some more. I could vaguely remember Josh holding out shooters for everyone and cook burgers in the middle of the night but other than that... my mind was pitch black.

- Where's Josh by the way ?

Swallowing a whole glass of water woke me up further and despite my stomach's complaining and churning, my appetite awaken too.

- He's sleeping on the couch, came the simple reply.

- What couch ?

Did we owned a couch ? No we didn't.

Turning back once more, my friend pointed something behind me with her spatula, motioning for me to follow the direction. Oh, so we did have a couch after all. And a sleepy curly head snoring on it, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito. Too many questions came to my mind.

- Okay, so since when do we own a couch ? And also Josh slept here ?

- We got out for a walk last night and found a couch so Josh could sleep on it when he wants to crash at ours.

- He plans to do that on a regular basis ?!

She shushed me hurriedly, standing still as Josh turned and moaned in his sleep. His clothes were scattered on the floor around him and on the worned out leather couch that creaked with his every movement. God I hoped no animals were living on it. Getting up, I stole a pancake from the plate next to Mandy, needing energy to register everything that just happened in less than five minutes. So what she's telling me is that we got so drunk we went who-knows-where and got back to the dorm with an abandonned sofa we found on the side of the road ? Just so Josh could sleep at our place. Couldn't he just bring an airmat or a sleeping bag, like a normal person ?

I had to admit my irritation was purely fake. This whole situation was so ridiculous it made me want to laugh more than anything, really. Going to great lenghts only so he could stay the night. Unbelievable, what a princess. It's with an amused grin that I studied his sleeping figure, peaceful and quiet. A rare sight.

- Is he naked ?, I half-murmured to Mandy.

She turned to me, then to Josh, putting her back to the kitchen counter next to me, intently watching him turn in his sleep before the blanket slipped and uncovered his bare ass in all its glory for the world to see.

- Yup, he is.

- Should've guessed.

Nodding to ourselves, we returned to our occupations, and I helped her with breakfast. Our sleepy guest sat with us only a few minutes later, with the covers hiding everything needed this time, devouring pancakes and chatting joyfully about last time and the day to come.

We didn't have school today, which was the main reason why the Christmas Festival was set to this day. And it also explained why students weren't that interested in coming. Even though it was a proven fact that we were all gonna party hard in the dorms after the concerts. Speaking of which, Josh had to perform today but wasn't stressed at all. In fact I never saw someone being this serene about singing onstage to a batch of people. He was talking about how it'll be amazing, and we'll be there, and they'll be rocking the school like it was no big deal at all. It truly amazed me, giving how nervous I was just presenting an assignment to the class. He ate a lot, babbled a lot, and then thanked us for everything and left. Time flew by fast after his departure.

I was too hungover to do anything more than lie in bed all day watching Netflix, let alone do homework. Mandy and I slept some more, and in what seemed like a minute later, had to shower and get dressed for the festival.

Much to my surprise, almost every department had their part to play to the Christmas school fest. The architecture dudes with the help of the carpenters students built cabins and decorated them with christmas lights and lanterns hooked on trees, the Music dept helped set the stage, Furniture Design peeps brought some tables and chairs they had left in the workshop (mostly projects refused by teachers), and Photography students as any other department invited a whole lot of people and bought alcohol for us all to enjoy. It wasn't crowded, but there was a nice amount of visitors nevertheless. A good amount of drugs too, judging by the familiar smell surrounding the school grounds. The stage was surrounded by wood cabins giving or selling beer, food, or cocktails, with stools or benches to sit, which were already taken by the time we got there.

We stood in the cold for hours, close to the heaters and the tiny hot dogs stalls, stuffing our bellies with junkfood in a vain attempt to warm ourselves up. We didn't know where the guys were, nor what their band was called. None of the twins were replying to their phones, so we were left with no clue as to when they were gonna play or if we could skip half of it and come back just for them.

- Can't believe the flyer said « free beer », grumbled Mandy while rubbing her arms.

- Yeah about that, I'm the one who asked for it to get removed, sorry.

Her hair whipped my face as she abruptly turned around to face me with a look of pure betrayal on her face.

- What ? Look at all the efforts they put on the festival, it's only fair they at least get some money out of it.

A lot of people brought their own booze to the party so they didn't have to spend a cent here anyway, we just didn't know enough folks to borrow from them.

- Screw that, she exclaimed before heading to one of the stalls.

Where was she going ? Should I follow ? What kind of crazy plan had she in mind ?

I saw her body leaning on the counter of a drinks stall where the barman looked overwhelmed by all those people calling him around, playing idly with a strand of hair while pretending to read the laminated menu just has her free hand got under the wood panel, fingertips caressing the handle of a huge beer keg. There was no way in Hell nobody would notice her stealing something so big, she couldn't get away with it. By the time I was facepalming while pretending I didn't witness anything at all, she came rushing to me with the keg in her hand and grabbed my arm, hurrying me to follow as we sank through the park.

- I can't believe you stole it, how the fuck are we supposed to drink a KEG ? Do you even know how to open it ?

She paused, letting the big barrel of beer clunk to the hard floor.

- I was kinda counting on you on this one, she said with a perplex tone. We'll find someone who can, don't worry.

I wasn't really worrying about that to be honest but oh well, now that we had it, might as well open it.

It turned out finding someone who could help us was more easier than I first thought, and since a lot of people had the idea of bringing their own keg along, nobody seemed to think it was weird we were carrying one. Now I wasn't a big fan of curing a hangover with more alcohol, but I got to admit it was a special night. And seeing everybody party without participating would've been a shame. That's what I told myself when I poured us another drink.

It was starting to get really chilly outside, so we stayed by the heater, taking turns to sit on the keg when our feet got too tired of standing still, listening to the bands playing, watching the christmas lights illuminate the trees and people sitting under them.

- Who's next ?, asked Mandy for the fourth time that evening.

Struggling once more to get the crumpled flyer out of my jacket pocket, I squinted my eyes, trying to read what band was next in the darkness of the night.

- Greta Van Fleet, I guess. Don't know her.

- Me neither.

Oh how wrong we were. I think my heart leaped in my chest when I saw Jake's figure enter the illuminated stage, followed by Josh, his tambourine, and their two bandmates. The lump in my throat came back, and as the first guitar notes were played it became impossible for me to either keep my mouth shut nor to take my eyes off of Jake. He looked so good. They all did, jamming and playing loud, smiling and having fun, but Jake. He was something else. He looked unreal. His unbutonned black patterned shirt revealed his chest and all the pendants that hung around his neck, bouncing to the rythmn of his body, while his hand recklessly attacked his guitar' strings. His face, so concentrated, like nothing in the world in that moment existed, a single drop of sweat running on his cheek, hair plastered to his forehead, some strands of it getting stuck at the corner of his gaping lips. That night he took my breath away.

- They're so good, muttered Mandy, taken aback too.

I could only nod, at a loss for words, barely having the capacity to register all the informations that were presented to me because it would mean I could miss a second of Jake playing. They all were simply incredible. You could tell they were putting their soul in their music, and it moved me in a strange way, changed me somehow, even a little. That drum solo was the most powerful I had ever witness, the skilled bassist made an amazing job of keeping everything together, and Josh's vocals would put to shame every damn diva on this earth. I think I died a bit when I saw Jake lift his guitar to put it behind his back and play his solo like that. Or if I didn't, I fell even harder for him. There was no turning back from the depths I was now. When Greta Van Fleet started performing at our school, I saw all the people surrounding us stop their activities to pay attention to them. That's how powerful they were.

Josh was in a bliss, we could tell by the spark in his eyes. He played the tambourine during solos, hopping on the stage like he was born on it, giving the crowd smiles and winks, and even blowing us a kiss. We waved at him, but my gaze kept finding its way to Jake like he was calling it back home. He was too busy to focus on anything else, drowning in his music, delighted by the sounds they were producing, barely realizing there were people cheering for them. He looked up from time to time glancing at his surroundings, and during one of them our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat, and he smiled, a pick stuck between his lips, eyes squinted with glee.

By the time they finished their set, my legs were shaking as if I was the one who just performed, but they didn't let us any time to catch our breath. A sweaty and barely dressed Josh jumped out of the stage to come rushing to us, holding us both in a tight embrace and giggling in our ears. He was talking excitedly about the show, how exhilirating it was, and bombarding us with questions about it and what we had thought of it. In the corner of my eye, standing on the stage, Jake was quietly picking up his stuff, putting his guitar back into its case with great care, chatting excitedly with the drummer. Oh fuck I wasn't mentally prepared.

- Are you kidding me ?, yelled Mandy who was holding Josh at arms' lenght. You guys killed it ! We absolutely loved it, you were the best !

- She's right, I chimed in, adrenaline kicking in. Why are you even in this school ?! Damn I wish I had recorded you, I kind of want to hear your songs again now.

Chuckling kindheartedly and hugging us some more, Josh thanked us a million times before settling down with us, helping himself to a beer he chugged before asking for another one. Still feeling starry eyed, I couldn't help focusing on the sweaty guitarist next to the stage, deeply lost in thought between his two bandmates having a conversation. Some people must've bought them drinks real fast because they were carrying red cups, still in their stage clothes with a coat put on top of it. Josh on the other hand... I couldn't look at his bare chest without scolding.

- You're going to catch a cold.

As much as his red velvet sleeveless jacket looked good, seeing his moist skin glimmering got me worried. We were in December, it was like -4 degrees outside, a few more minutes like that and he'll end up like the little match girl.

- Mama I'm too hot to catch a cold, came the reply with a smirk and a wink.

- Oh my Lord go put a coat on I swear to God Josh-

- Okay, I will ! But more importantly !, he said loud and clear while putting each arm around our shoulders. Tonight, my place, we're throwing an after party ! Ladies, please be my guests.

As backup to his words, Josh made grand gestures and a deep bow, taking our hands in his while I shook my head with a look of disbelief on my face.

- Only if you put on a coat.

#gvf fic #gvf x reader #gvf imagine #gvf fanfic #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka imagine #josh kiszka fic #jake kiszka #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet #greta van fleet imagine

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sparrowminder · 5 years

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lil update!

i dunno that my health has been getting worse, exactly, but it’s been not getting better for long enough that i’m about ready to throttle my doctors for a diagnosis. my new therapist has told me i should start pestering them for a recommendation to mayo clinic.

this blog has always existed on a when-i-feel-like-it basis, and it will continue to do so! but now that the fall semester has started i am totally wiped out a significant portion of the time. please feel free to send in questions as usual, i rarely if ever delete asks and i like having some saved up to answer when i feel like it!

my other projects can be considered similarly on hold until i feel like working on them...not that this is a change, exactly, this is just a heads up that if the wait is longer than usual, there’s no need for concern! i am probably just busy trying to do school and take care of myself!

i tend to be most active on discord during these periods, so if you’d like a more regular genetics fix, news about what i’m doing for school, and a nice little community of wc/genetics nerds, consider joining my server! https://discord.gg/JMnb5M

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toaarcan · 5 years

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Sonic X, Sonic Heroes, and IDW, or: How a bad anime from 2004 spoiled a comic from 2019.

Now, I haven’t been following IDW Sonic all that closely. I get regular updates from Nemesis via Discord, and additional info from some of the Tumblrs I follow that are invested in it, but I don’t really have a desire to touch it myself. Here’s why.

There’s a multitude of reasons for this. Starting with the background of Sonic Forces wasn’t really a good place to begin from, and being based on present-day game lore in general was always going to hurt it, mainly because SEGASonic canon is currently a confusing mess of retcons brought on by Iizuka taking the J.K. Rowling approach.

Wait, no, he’s just saying stupid shit that contradicts previous canon, not trying to score woke points and hoping nobody notices the frankly terrible stereotypes and TERF tweets. Iizuka is taking the Greg Farshtey approach.

Added, as anyone that’s had experience with my opinions will tell you, I started falling out of love with Ian Flynn’s writing somewhere around Issue 200, and moved to outright dislike during Mecha Sally, and to make matters worse I started noticing that some of the flaws in the 200-247 era were also present in the 160-199 era, retroactively making those harder to go back to.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I kept up with Archie for the SatAM cast. SatAM reruns back in 2004 were my Sonic, moreso than anything else, and even now I still have way more attachment to those two seasons of animation than I do to most other aspects of the franchise, warts and all. So Archie providing me with additional content for said characters was a major draw for me. I’d generally put up with a lot just to get myself more SatAM content.

That in itself is a large part of why I fell off the Archie train during Mecha Sally. The entirety of the SatAM cast were removed from the regular lineup, just leaving three SEGA characters with their personalities stunted, even if that didn’t make sense in-universe. But that’s a discussion for another day.

So being written by someone whom I no longer enjoyed the writing of, set in a mess of a canon with a thoroughly shite game as the main basis, without the cast I read the previous comics for gave me little reason to invest in IDW Sonic. It wasn’t for me, I’d just keep reading Transformers and move on.

Then MTMTE/LL ended with a heart-twister and Ex-RID ended with a giant Unicron-shaped fart, and the new comic is dull as fucking dishwater and started by killing off one of my favourites, who was also one of the franchise’s confirmed LGBT characters. So now IDW is getting none of my money. Which is good because I’m broke.

Tangents aside, my lack of interest wasn’t something set in stone. If it turned out that the comic was actually really good, then sure, I’d try it. I was up for being proven wrong. But so far, I haven’t felt compelled by the responses from the internet. If anything I’ve been more turned off.

I could talk about how zombies are really fucking boring. I could talk about how SEGA’s recent confusion over what to do with Amy has combined with Ian’s need to include a Sally-esque character to make IDW Amy into Sally Lite. I could talk about how Ian seemingly fundamentally misunderstood everything that was cool about Neo Metal Sonic and somehow managed to reduce him to a boring Eggman minion in an arc where Eggman was out of action due to amnesia… But I won’t.

Instead I’m going to talk about how the comic has done something that would legitimately make me think twice about picking it up even if the FF were to debut tomorrow.

Yeah, I would pass up a SatAM fix because of this, that’s how much this ticks me off.

Now, I presume that if you’re reading this, you have a favourite Sonic character. And you probably feel pretty strongly about how your favourite character is portrayed. If they get a bad run in a game or two then you probably get a little salty about that. Tails and Knuckles fans in particular, as of late, seem to be the ones getting the short end.

Well, my favourite character in the entire franchise is Emerl the Gizoid. I will take Gemerl as a worthy substitute, they’re basically the same character. And the comics have been doing them dirty since the Archie reboot.

(Sidenote: I will be referring to Emerl with male pronouns from this point on. The Maria-soul thing isn’t as widely known as I’d like it to be, so I’m going to compromise for the sake of keeping the focus on the actual point)

However, not everything about this can be laid at the feet of Ian Flynn. Arguably his portrayal of said character is merely a symptom of a long-running issue that has plagued Sonic storytelling for roughly 15-16 years now.

But before we get into that, let’s get into something important: Why Emerl is my favourite Sonic character.

Part 1: Emerl in Sonic Battle, or “How I learned to stop worrying and love the Gizoid”.

This game doesn’t get enough love.

Now, I totally understand why it doesn’t get enough love. There are game design choices, like the grinding and the repetitiveness of the story mode that really drag it down, and because of that, Battle can become a slow-going and tedious experience, and that’s a real shame, because the story that’s hidden in this game is a thing of beauty.

Like most Sonic games from the 2000s, this game introduces a new character to join Sonic’s list of friends. Unlike the games that aren’t SA2 and Sonic Rush, this new character is actually good (This is hyperbole, Omega, Silver, and Shade were fine too).

Emerl enters the story as a mute, barely-functional robot that doesn’t do much of anything for a while, and only seems to come to life when Sonic locates it and attacks it. However, as the robot absorbs more Chaos Emeralds, slowly a personality starts to form, largely pieced together from other characters’ traits.

Emerl, as he is dubbed, is initially childlike and naive, but as he grows he develops a sassy streak, and his speech becomes a lot more developed. Maturity sets in, as Emerl grapples with his own nature, particularly the legacy he carries from the ARK, and Shadow’s ongoing turmoil with regards to the whole “Living Weapon” deal. Ultimately he becomes a hero, following in the footsteps of his mentor, parental figure, and closest friend, Sonic.

That’s right, Sonic, not Cream, is Emerl’s closest friend. We’ll get to that.

But this heart-warming story of Sonic becoming a dad for a robot doesn’t have a happy ending. Despite Shadow and Rouge finding a way to neutralise Emerl’s destructive Gizoid programming, Eggman has a way to reactivate it anyway, driving Emerl into a berserk rampage. This is kind of the one sticking point I have with the game’s plot, Eggman shouldn’t have been able to do this after Shadow and Rouge neutralised Emerl.

Additionally, while Emerl was on the ARK getting Maria’s soul crammed into him, Gerald also added a self-destruct mechanism that would trigger if he ever went Ultimate again.

So with Emerl quite literally exploding with all the power of the Chaos Emeralds, but his destructive programming forcing him to turn Eggman’s latest Death Star knockoff on Mobius/Earth/Sonic’s World, Sonic races up to confront his mecha-child, and things take a turn for the Old Robot Yeller.

In a moment that really deserves more attention, Sonic confronts his own child on the bridge of a space station, while Emerl is running on the power of the Chaos Emeralds and outputting more energy than he can physically take, and they fight. In the space of thirty seconds, they have a ten-round knock-down, drag-out brawl, and at the end, Sonic stands triumphant. Without using a single transformation. Yeah, that’s how powerful this guy is, that’s not travel speed, that’s combat speed. Looking at you, Death Battle.

It’s not really clear whether Sonic outright defeats Ultimate Emerl, or just survives long enough for his opponent to reach his limit and self-destruct, but the end result is the same. Sonic cradles a robot that became his own child over the course of the past few weeks, someone he raised from a baby-like state into a mature and heroic individual, and Emerl looks up at him and asks “Sonic… am I going to die?” And despite Sonic desperately trying to get him to keep it together, Not only does Emerl die, but he’s aware that the end is coming, and bids farewell to all of his friends as Sonic pleads with him to hold on. Shadow is equally distraught, his only friend with a connection to the ARK, someone he can call a brother, someone who carries the soul of his deceased sister within him, is dead.

Emerl: “Sonic I don’t feel so good.”

Like it’s canon that Eggman basically murdered Sonic’s kid.

And goddamnit this ending hits me hard. It frustrates me that Eggman was able to pull a means to drive Emerl into his Ultimate freakout mode out of his arse, but other than that, it’s so gutwrenching, I love it.

Gamma’s story from SA1 gets a lot of praise on the Internet, but for me, this is even better. It’s like Gamma’s story, but if Gamma was actually central to the plot of the game and the characters other than Amy gave a shit about him, and gave a shit about him for longer than a single cutscene, after which they are never mentioned again. Hell, due to Chaos Gamma being a thing, Gamma gets more love from the other characters in Battle than he does in SA1.

But, unfortunately, it doesn’t end there.

Part 2: (Sonic) Anime was a Mistake, or: “Sonic X ruins everything.”

I’ve made my dislike of this anime quite clear in the past. The characters are flanderized, Sonic is a B-lister in his own damn show, the villains are weaksauce or boring or both, the plot is only remotely close to good when its cribbing from two videogames which told the stories in question better, and for the first two seasons the entire show actually revolves around not Sonic, but the least relatable audience surrogate ever made. The third season would continue to include him, but shove him (And everyone else) to the side in favour of a Pokemon whose only move was “Flashback”, making audiences the world over question why he was even there in the first place.

Oh, and it also near-singlehandedly destroyed the thin shreds of character development that Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Eggman had received in Sonic Adventure 2.

All four of these characters had been significantly enriched by the then most recent console game. Eggman had been revealed to be motivated by an admiration for his grandfather, Gerald Robotnik, but in the same game learned that Gerald had lost his marbles and programmed the ARK to smash into the planet and kill everyone on it, probably including his surviving family, i.e. little baby Ivo Robotnik. Gerald betrayed Eggman posthumously, and it’s clear from Eggman’s interactions with Tails during the credits of the game that this is giving him a lot to think about.

Knuckles is a weird case because most of his characterisation in SA2 is conveyed via… the lyrics to his rap music. Yes, really. He gets minor growth through the cutscenes, most notably in his decision to shatter the Master Emerald early on. Having already reassembled it once after it was broken in SA1, he’s now confident that he can do it again, so is willing to break it to prevent Eggman or Rouge stealing it. Via the rap lyrics, however (Yes I just wrote that), we also learn that Knuckles is slowly warming up to Sonic, gaining a greater respect for him, that he is more in-touch with his history and ancestors after SA1 (Though fortunately not in a Ken Penders way), and that he’s also struggling with feelings for Rouge, a plot element that went completely out of the window after this game.

Tails and Amy, however, get it the worst, as both went through arcs in SA1 that are followed up on and expanded in SA2. Amy had come to the conclusion that she didn’t need to rely on Sonic for everything, and that she would make him respect her as a hero in her own right. And while Amy is clearly in way over her head throughout the events of SA2, she still makes a significant difference, not only freeing Sonic from his cell on Prison Island, allowing Tails’ invasion to be a distraction and stealing a keycard to facilitate it, but of course, she later saves the world by motivating Shadow to join the fight to stop the ARK drop.

Tails had a similar plot, about learning to believe in himself as a hero, without having to rely on Sonic, and in SA2 he gets to prove it, not only partaking in the same rescue operation as Amy and fighting Eggman on even footing, but effectively taking command of the heroes and becoming their new leader, and for the first time, Sonic defers to him.

And then Sonic X came along and fucked it all up.

Eggman became a clownish antagonist with no semblance of nuance, and he actually got off the easiest.

Knuckles became a loud, dimwitted loner who got tricked by Eggman constantly, which would go on to be his personality for the rest of the franchise, ultimately culminating in the travesty against all sense that was Boom Knuckles.

Tails was reduced to a wimpy taxi driver, incapable of doing anything without his giant mecha plane to sit in. This was largely exacerbated by the presence of Donut Steele, who usurped his role as Sonic’s best friend and sidekick for two seasons, a problem which only got worse in the third season when Donut Steele suddenly became a genius inventor too, encroaching even more into Tails’ territory. Tails did get himself some more focus in S3, but only to make googly eyes at the Pokemon, a role which frankly could’ve gone to literally anyone else and would have made no difference on the plot. I would say that Tails being involved in a romance story at all is weird, but given the comics and Boom the weirdest thing about this latest tragic love story for the kid is that the Pokemon was actually close to his own age, because outside of this it really does seem like Tails goes for older ladies. Though she did turn into an adult at the end so I guess that counts?

But Amy arguably got the worst of it. Not only was her crowning moment in SA2 taken away from her and given to Donut Steele, but the poor girl had her promising character arc cut short and replaced with an obsessive, unhealthy fixation on Sonic, combined with a violent temper and an eagerness to smash anything that displeased her, Sonic included, with a giant hammer. Her admiration and crush on Sonic were warped into her being a possessive, mean-spirited stalker, whom only got away with it because she was an anime girl and therefore it was cute rather than creepy.

I want to take the time at this point to stress that stalking is not okay, under any circumstances. A girl obsessively following an older guy and threatening him and everyone around him with violent assault if they ever so much as imply that he isn’t interested in her is not cute, it means it’s time for a restraining order. Sonamy is not cute.

Now that I’ve swatted that particular hornet’s nest with a cricket bat, let’s move on!

I’ve always found it ironic that, despite being the adaptation with the most oversight from SEGA and Sonic Team, and the most endorsement from them too, Sonic X had easily the worst characterisation of any of the shows at the time. But, for all its faults, I can’t blame everything that went down in the aftermath on it. It had a comrade-in-arms. Mediocrely-written arms.

Part 3: Partner in Crime, or “Sonic Heroes also ruins everything.”

Sonic Heroes has a lot to answer for. And I mean a lot. It was the beginning of the franchise’s obsession with references to the classic games, it codified the really awkward ages for certain characters, and it seemed to be dedicated to completely unpicking everything established in the Adventure duology.

Shadow’s sudden resurrection is one thing, at least they had the graces to include a means to preserve his sacrifice via having him be an android, the blame for that not taking should be laid at the feet of his own game.

But the rest of the cast? Ohhh boy. Sonic’s still fine, he didn’t change much in the Adventure games, but then there’s Tails. Despite all the development he went through in SA1, in this game he needs to turn to Sonic when Eggman returns, and honestly this whole setup could’ve been fixed if Tails sought Sonic out not for the sake of having him lead the charge, but rather simply to recruit him into the counterattack he was already planning. Nevertheless, throughout the rest of the game Tails is almost as wimpy as his X counterpart, not helped by the voicework he’s given. No offense to William Corkery, who was probably like six when he recorded his lines, but this what you get when you choose actors via nepotism, rather than talent. But at least he does something.

How about Knuckles? As the other side of his derailment, Knuckles just turns up in this game, buddy-buddy with the characters he was only just starting to warm up to before, and blatantly not caring about the Master Emerald until Rouge mentions she’s going to steal it at the end. This will combine with his becoming a dumbass in Sonic X and become basically his entire character for… ever. Even in Forces, where he’s supposed to be doing slightly better as the leader of the resistance… but he’s a dumbass, and even Ian Flynn, who kept Knuckles as competent and intelligent in the Archie comics (Making the best version of Knuckles we’ve had in forever), kept this ongoing in the IDW comic. The Forces prequel portrays him as deciding to become leader of the Resistance (To an empire that hasn’t actually formed yet) purely to be a glory hound, and then goes on to establish that he was basically a figurehead while the real work was done by Amy, of all people.

And speaking of Amy…

Yeah, poor Amy is basically her Sonic X counterpart. But worse. I didn’t think that was possible, but at least X’s Amy seems to care about her friends. In Heroes, we’re treated to an equally violent and stalkerish Amy, who ostensibly starts searching out Sonic because he’s implicated in the abduction of Cream and Big’s pets, but when they actually catch up to him, Amy clean forgets why she is looking for him in the first place and tries to force him to marry her. Despite being twelve.

Y’know when Amy said she wanted to marry Sonic in SA2, she was joking, right?

This is why I find the idea of Amy being the real leader of the Resistance frankly absurd: Because the only time she led anything, it was a team that consisted of herself, a small child, and a man less intelligent and aware of reality than said small child, and she completely forgot their actual objective the moment she set her eyes on Sonic. Add in an unfortunate stint of very poor eyesight that got less and less understandable with every instance, and we got Amy’s rough personality for the next decade.

While Knuckles mostly stagnated at the same level of stupidity during that time, Tails got worse and worse, losing all of his badass traits with every game, a factor only increased by the “Sonic only” mentality costing him playable status, until he reached his nadir in Forces, cowering in terror from Chaos 0, and crying out to Sonic to save him, despite knowing full-well that Sonic was captured already. Amy, meanwhile, limped along at the same level until about 2014, where it seemed someone at SEGA finally realised that A) Having the only female character you regularly use be a pink-coloured gender-bent version of your male hero whose only function is lusting after said hero doesn’t and shouldn’t fly in this day and age, and B) violent stalkers aren’t cute, and dropped this trait. Unfortunately, this has been more of a lateral move than a fix, as, much like Antoine in the comics, they forgot to give her anything substantial or fitting after she lost her negative traits, leaving her a bland and dull character, and when you’ve had a character be consistent for ten years, even if they were consistently bad, then changing it without cause or warning is still going to be jarring and awkward.

Part 4: Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right, or “Why the fuck did this happen?”

As I said in Part 2, Sonic X was made under heavy oversight from Sonic Team, and was heavily endorsed by them at the same time. There were promos for the show inserted into Sonic Adventure DX, a few episodes were released on GBA cartridges, and it received a long-running comic from Archie that ran alongside the main book, even after the show had ended. Additionally, characters that debuted in games from 2002-2004 were restricted from appearing in Archie’s main book for years afterwards (Which will become relevant later). The third season was commissioned solely off of the response to the first two, and primarily overseas response, hence why the original sub was never aired in Japan.

Sonic X was huge. And with that in mind, it’s plain to see that the portrayals of the characters in Sonic X were intended by SEGA. Yeah, all that horrible characterisation was intended as the vision for the franchise going forwards, and subsequent games were adjusted to match it.

And unfortunately, not only did this have a serious impact on the main cast of the games, but it had an even worse effect on Emerl.

Part 5: Emerl in Sonic X, or “Emerl vs. ‘Emel’”

Sonic X’s original mission statement was to adapt Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, and Sonic Battle. Why they skipped Sonic Heroes, despite Shadow being a major player in Battle’s story, I don’t know.

For whatever reason, the show took a full season to actually get to the first game adaptation, SA1, and instead spent the first 26 episodes on bland episodic “adventures”, in some kind of strange reverse-Isekai series. However, once it got there, the adaptation work was fairly faithful to the source material, which the exception of Donut Steele’s being crammed in to the plot. However, he mostly followed Big around, and since Big was the least involved in the game’s plot, he didn’t disrupt too much.

Sidenote, after 26 episodes of filler, the actual SA1 adaptation only lasted six episodes.

SA2 was likewise only six episodes, but with the exception of Amy’s big scene, it likewise wasn’t too bad. Tails suffered this time around too, which is somewhat surprising since he was mech-dependent in the anime anyway.

After some more filler, which introduced the Chaotix and then did nothing with them, Emerl finally made an appearance, albeit they got his name wrong.

‘Emel’ looks like Emerl, and somewhat works like Emerl, but might as well be completely different. ‘Emel’ stays completely mute for the entire time he’s around, never advancing much beyond Emerl’s initial silent, pre-first Emerald persona. He does get better at fighting, but he’s limited to only absorbing a single skill at once (Except for when he isn’t).

Dispensing with Battle’s interesting, rich, and heart-twisting plot, Sonic X instead has ‘Emel’ linger in ensemble for three episodes, before condensing the entire game’s premise into a two episodes of really bland tournament arc, where Sonic himself doesn’t actually fight and we get two rounds of Donut Steele being a dick to his friend and his father.

‘Emel’ wins the tournament, and is given a Chaos Emerald, and just when you think it might kickstart him becoming an actual character, instead it just drives him insane and he immediately becomes a pathetically weak version of Ultimate Emerl. After kicking the crap out of the entire cast, he is defeated by Cream and Cheese, because even though he can take on Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge at the same time and win, along with Tails, Amy, Donut Steele and everyone else, he… can’t handle two opponents at once.

This is stupid.

You’ll notice that I haven’t talked about Sonic’s relationship with ‘Emel’, and that’s because he doesn’t have one. The wonderfully-written parental bond that these two characters share in the games is completely excised, and instead the focus is put on Cream. Bare in mind, Cream is so inconsequential to the actual game that she doesn’t even get mentioned individually in Emerl’s dying speech like Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow do. Instead she’s just grouped in with Amy.

This is also stupid.

And as a result of this, it means that what is arguable base form Sonic’s most impressive feat just doesn’t happen in the anime, instead Emerl dies because he is lightly kicked a bit by Cream. Yeah, unlike the Advance games, Sonic X’s Cream is not an unstoppable engine of destruction, she’s basically just a small child who can sometimes fly.

Instead of Emerl’s tragic speech and Sonic’s desperate attempts to keep his son alive, we get treated to a prolonged scene of Cream crying over the death of her “friend”, something that is probably meant to tug at heartstrings but doesn’t because Cream’s voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

And Shadow isn’t even there! He doesn’t come back until a third of the way through Season 3, and never meets ‘Emel.’

This is really stupid. And, for those keeping track, that means of Sonic X’s originally commissioned 52 episodes, and the full series run of 78 episodes, a stunning total of seventeen of them were actually adaptations of the games that the series was supposed to focus on, leaving us with 61 episodes of what might as well be filler.

And, unfortunately, that franchise-wide initiative had damning consequences for Emerl.

Part 6: Gemerl and Sonic Advance 3, or: “An incomplete resurrection.”

So, Gemerl. I know his name is apparently G-Merl now but fuck that I’m calling him Gemerl. If the comics can do it then so will I.

Gemerl is the worst thing Eggman has ever done to Sonic. Like, there is no contest. Some of his other schemes might be more destructive and generally evil, but in terms of personal pain inflicted, nothing has topped this.

Eggman salvaged Emerl’s corpse, and brought him back to life as a mindless murderbot under his control. So not only did he kill Sonic’s robo-son, but he also brought him back as a weapon.

Come the conclusion of the game, Gemerl predictably betrays Eggman, steals the Chaos Emeralds from Sonic, and goes on another rampage. I have… headcanons about this fight, but that’s something to worry about later. What’s important is that, once again, Sonic is victorious, and Gemerl’s defeated body plunges into the atmosphere.

Fortunately, Tails is able to bring Emerl back properly this time, presumably using the Chaos shard that was left over at the end of Battle’s finale. So, it’s all a happy ending, right? Sonic has his child back, Shadow has his connection to his history restored, and Emerl is alive and well, right?

Wrong.

See, the vile spectre of Sonic X rears its ugly head once more, and sabotages this conclusion. Gemerl doesn’t return to Sonic, in fact we never see him reunite with his father. Instead, Sonic X’s version has enough clout now to take precedence, so Gemerl is now Cream’s playmate.

Bear in mind that Emerl’s idea of a fun game is all-out combat against his friends, and Cream doesn’t like fighting (Even if she’s really good at it in Advance 2 and 3).

And then he never shows up again. Even when Cream is part of the game’s plot, like in Rush or Generations, he’s not there, and most egregiously, in Sonic Chronicles, where Cream is not only an active player in the plot, but so are Gizoids, the creators of said Gizoids are the main antagonists, and Emerl himself is mentioned… Gemerl is not there.

But he did make it into the comics, for better or worse. Mostly worse.

Part 7: Embargos, knock-offs, and misused tropes, or: “Ian Flynn dun goofed.”

For a long while, Emerl/Gemerl was barred from the Archie comics, due to the Sonic X embargo, and when it was lifted, he didn’t appear until the reboot. We did, however, get a suspiciously similar substitute in the form of Shard.

Shard was the original Metal Sonic, but when he was brought back and rebuilt for the Secret Freedom arc, he was given a colour scheme ostensibly derived from Metal Sonic 3.0, but one shared with Gemerl, and a personality that was a lot like a watered-down version of Emerl’s own.

On some level I can understand Ian’s decision to bring back Metal Sonic v2.5, rather than use the character that seems to have been an inspiration for this new incarnation in some way. He’d need a fully-formed Emerl, necessitating a skip over the whole story, since there wasn’t room for an adaptation during the Mecha Sally arc that the Secret Freedom story was framed within. Heck, for all we know, the similarities between them may simply be a pretty sizeable coincidence.

But then the reboot happened and Gemerl finally joined the comic cast. And to say it was underwhelming would be an understatement.

You’ll notice that I said “Gemerl” rather than “Emerl”, because his entire story was indeed skipped. The events of Sonic Battle and Sonic Advance 3 had both happened already. This wasn’t Ian’s decision, as far as we know, his intention was for the comic to start over from the beginning. However, due to the interference of Paul Kaminski, who wanted a softer reboot, Ian was forced to fill the characters’ active histories with a large chunk of the games’ stories. Battle and Advance 3 were among those that had already happened, so Emerl made cameos in both incarnations via flashback… which unfortunately led to a plot hole.

See, Advance 3 and Sonic Unleashed are rather difficult to keep in the same continuity, because both share a common plot element: The world breaking into seven pieces.

For a long while, it was generally assumed that the handheld games and console titles were only semi-canon to each other. This avoided the awkward question of “If the Gaias were already there, why didn’t they emerge when Eggman broke the planet in Advance 3?”

Ian shoved them blatantly into the same continuity, and gave no attempt to explain what was different about the Advance 3 world-break compared to the Gaia incident, which served as the backbone to the reboot’s three year long Shattered World Arc. Why didn't the Gaias wake up during Advance 3? Because that's now a question we have to ask of the comics' world.

When Gemerl finally showed up doing something other than yard work for Vanilla (Despite allegedly being Cream’s friend, Cream spends all her time with the rest of the cast, and Gemerl is basically Vanilla’s maid), it was to get effortlessly dispatched by a brainwashed Mega Man with a terrible name in the extremely lacklustre Worlds Unite event.

This one was more than a little bit of a slap in the face, considering that Emerl and Mega Man are very similar in concept- robots that can copy the abilities of other characters- but Emerl is demonstrably more powerful. Now, if Ian had established that Gemerl had been nerfed when he was rebuilt, either by Eggman or by Tails, that would be fine. But he didn’t. In fact, Gemerl is given the title bubble “Super Gizoid”, implying that he’s stronger than a regular Gizoid.

Worlds Unite is generally pretty bad for having its corrupted heroes easily curbstomp every other character around, to the point that the only thing that can stop them is each other, but in Gemerl’s case it really serves no purpose.

This is the only thing that he actually does in Worlds Unite. He shows up to get beaten up and make Mega Man look stronger. That’s it.

This is something that TV Tropes refers to as “The Worf Effect”, a trope wherein an established powerful character is defeated easily by a new character, in order to demonstrate the latter’s power. Now, there’s nothing wrong with using this trope, but please note that I said establishedpowerful character, which Gemerl wasn’t.

At the point that this comic released, Gemerl’s last appearance in any Sonic media was over ten years prior. None of the comic’s intended target audience would remember him, and they wouldn’t know why defeating him was impressive. And this was, in addition, a terrible way to introduce him to new fans. Though the worst part is easily that this was unnecessary. Mega Man had already defeated everyone else, and had established his power pretty well just on them, and he was about to get removed from play permanently in the next issue. There was really no reason to throw Gemerl under the bus for this.

He made one more appearance in the event, getting controlled by the Zeti along with every other robot, and after that he got bopped on the head and just flew away.

Later, he’d make another appearance in the Panic in the Sky arc, and while his portrayal was far from the worst thing about Panic in the Sky, it only adds to the issues caused by the previous showing.

Gemerl makes one appearance, and promptly gets pinned down by the Witchcarters and Team Hooligan. Bear in that one of those groups are the joke villains who nobody takes seriously, and the other are a gang that was defeated by Tails before he met Sonic.

Archie Gemerl was a character who only existed to lose to villains in a vain attempt to make them look better, and that’s legitimately all Ian ever did with him, which makes me wonder whether he disliked the character. And it didn’t even make the villains look good, when you think about it. For anybody that was actually the intended audience for this book, Gemerl had no significance. He was just a robot that got beat up all the time. But for anyone like me, who does remember the games he appeared in, it stands out, not as good writing, but as a blatant narrative device and misused trope.

In this situation, I would simply rather Gemerl never appeared in Archie. At all. If Ian wasn’t going to give him time to shine, or at the very least be an adequate member of the supporting cast, he shouldn’t have used him at all.

Part 8: A Fresh False Start, or: “Wait, how did this get worse?!”

And now we arrive at IDW.

The one nice thing I can say about Archie Gemerl is that at least his personality was mostly on point. He read like a generally accurate take on the character that Emerl was at the end of Battle, which is what he’s supposed to be.

The same cannot be said for IDW.

In the pages of IDW, Gemerl acts like the most generic robot. He speaks in emotionless, stilted sentences with little in the way of actual grammar, leaving him to read like a poor man’s Soundwave, or Soundwave in one of those comics where the writer can’t decide whether they want him to speak normally or adopt his speech pattern from the G1 cartoon, so they just sort of do both.

Emerl pretty much never talked like this, as far as I can recall. His speech development is much more reminiscent of a child learning words, and the only time when he did adopt a more robotic speech pattern, it was a clue that he was slipping back into his destructive programming. He only spoke like a generic robot when he was in mindless destroyer mode.

He gets thrown for a loop by a simple logic flaw, unable to reconcile “Protect Cream and Vanilla” with “Don’t kill the zombots”, and has to be talked out of killing everything around him, when the entire point of Gerald’s modifications to the Gizoid was to make him a bringer of hope rather than destruction, and give him a compassionate heart.

The part of Battle’s story where Cream imparts a pacifistic mindset doesn’t frame her as being right. In that part of the game, they are cornered and under attack by hostile but ultimately mindless drones, and when she convinces Emerl to stop fighting, he almost dies. It’s Cream that learns the lesson there, that sometimes fighting is okay.

This character is already compassionate, he shouldn’t need to be talked into not killing the zombots by a small child, nor should he need her to point out that they’re innocent people who have been made this way by Eggman, because he was made into a killing machine by Eggman twice, and the first time he did die because of it. The character that lay dying in Sonic’s arms, scared and bidding his last goodbyes to his loved ones shouldn’t be the one experiencing this struggle when Omega is also in this arc.

That’s it, really. He’s not Gemerl. He’s a second, less goofy Omega. And it boggles my mind that, despite getting Gemerl’s character, if not his combat abilities, down almost perfectly in Archie, Ian is now subjecting us to this travesty.

Like with the Archie example above, therein lies the crux of why the steady decline of Emerl/Gemerl that began with Sonic X is pushing me away from IDW: I don’t want to read Ian’s take on this character, because, to me, No Gemerl is better than Badly-Written Gemerl,

This isn’t the first time I’ve said this, either. Way back in 2016, when I complained about Ian’s portrayal of Gemerl in Panic in the Sky, I said that the way he handled characters that I liked tended to make them the least likeable parts of the stories he wrote. As well as stating my dislike for his handling of Gemerl, I also stated that I used to really like Fiona Fox, moreso in concept than in execution, but under Ian’s pen she was largely an insufferable antagonist, little more than a trophy to make his pet recolour look better, and almost every story she was in only added to the “List of reasons she needs to stop lying to herself and just start the redemption arc already”. Additionally, I said that I didn’t want to see him bring back Neo Metal Sonic or Mephiles in any context, and we got the former, and it was exactly as bad as I thought it would be.

So, that’s basically why I don’t want to read IDW. That’s why, even if the aspect that was a big sticking point for me back when the comic launched was to be undone soon, I still probably wouldn’t pick it up. Because I don’t want to see my favourite Sonic character continue to be written badly by a guy that should know better, and has done better in the past.

If he were simply screwing up Gemerl’s personality the first time he wrote him, I would file it away under the same category as “Emel”, but the fact that he’s done better before, in a book where he had greater restrictions on what he could do with the characters, really settles this as an interest-killer for me.

Well done, Mr. Flynn. I legitimately didn’t think you could make me actually miss SEGA’s tighter control, but you somehow managed it. I would be impressed if it weren’t so sad.

#Sonic #Sonic the Hedgehog #Sonic X #IDW Sonic #Archie Sonic #Emerl #Gemerl #Emerl the Gizoid #Gemerl the Gizoid #Critical #Sonic Heroes

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geekygoddesss · 6 years

Text

“I fucked up again, sorry”

Requested by @boyslikeluke

Making luke mad was kind of the equivalent of kicking a puppy. Not that I kicked puppies on a regular basis, but I think it is very self-explanatory.

Luke is not the kind of guy you want to have a fight with, especially if you are close to him in any way, he was not a guy to mess up with, he could be the sweetest guy on earth but if you did anything that could hurt him or any of his loved ones, you would wish it never happened, or worst, you would wish you never knew him at all, that’s how heavy this was. That’s why after a very bad night and the biggest fight in the history of our relationship, this was really starting to feel like the end and I was too fucking scared to even think about it.

It was not like he did something to me, it was not his mistake at all. It was me, it was all me. I did this.

Going in detail right now would be a lot, but let’s just say, mental breakdowns are a bitch and you should not be pretending to be fine when nothing is really fine and most definitely, you should not be questioning anyone's feeling while having a mental breakdown, because they most likely will turn up shit on you and that’s where all the trouble starts, Me, having a mentally unstable moment, not handling it well and ending up in a fight with my boyfriend, which is never good.

Flying out to Australia was a true pain after this fight. All of my words and every single moment of that call was being played in my head over and over, I felt like it could go on forever until I finally exploded. I tried to forget that while being on my flight though, this was not going to hold me back, I made one promise to Luke before he left, I would be at that show no matter what and I was going to be there just like I promised. He had my word.

These past few days have been hell on earth, I stayed at his family house instead of going to his apartment, just like I usually did when I had to go to Australia alone. I told them about everything, but they seemed too sure that everything was going to be alright, which I somehow doubted, but I never said that to them, I wouldn’t dare to worry them more about us than they were already. But while they seemed to be totally fine with my presence, I still couldn’t stop thinking about that day, I couldn’t stop seeing his face everywhere and I just couldn’t stop looking at my phone, just sitting there and waiting for a call that I was never going to get.

He hasn’t called me in almost a week. I definitely fucked up

Days passed and the moment was finally here, the day I would face him and everything would be determined, I would either stay with him or go home and pick up everything from his house. It was one way or the other, no middle point.

I stand on his childhood bedroom looking at my reflection in the mirror, doubting if what I had was even the right clothes for such an event, it was his show, I had to look more decent and more... I don’t know… outstanding. Instead, I was just wearing a white blouse he gave to me a while ago and jeans, with little to no makeup, which was usually my look anyways. I feel underdressed, I feel pathetic. What would a feminine girl do?.

I grab the red lipstick on my bag and just put it on, might be a fail try to look better, but it was something and I was really making my best to not look too careless about my looks tonight, I wanted him to feel something when he saw me, not just anger or whatever he was feeling about me tonight, something good, something that will make me feel better about myself.

“Honey, we’re going backstage before the show, so we better take off now” I hear Luke’s mother say from out the door, opening it carefully, making sure she didn’t catch me in a bad moment or something.

She is already dressed and ready to go, I am too, but I am not prepared for seeing him right now. My hands still shake a little when I think about what’s going to happen and all the possible outcomes for this moment. I was scared and I wanted everything to be alright, but the only way that would happen if it I just faced the situation and be strong about it, I had to do it.

“All of you?” I ask Lis, completely opening the door and facing her, I couldn’t hide my scared look from her and that’s why she looked at me back in pity, I hated this so much “Oh, well, I guess it's alright” I say after a few seconds, recognizing there was nothing I could do about it anyways.

“Hey” She says giving a step forward, putting her hands on my shoulders “are you two still not talking?” I can sense true concern in her voice and I almost hated that she was even when it was comforting to have someone who supported, but I just had a fight with her son, she wasn’t even mad about it. she has too much hope on this.

“I mean, he talks to me, sometimes” I shrug, sitting on the bed and letting her do the same. I remember all of those texts, just keeping me updated on where he was or how he was doing, but after that he never really asked how I was, or at least starts a conversation, it was almost like he felt responsible for making sure I was informed about his status, but the reality is that all I wanted was to hear his voice talking to me, not just a text. I needed to hear his voice.

“he hasn't called me in a while” I mumble in a sad smile, trying to not look like the world was ending or something, but my world was on the apocalypsis right now.

“A week is a long time” She says, squeezing my shoulder a bit in support “It'll be alright” she assures me “he loves you, this is just a slip”

I give her a smile, I appreciate how supportive she’s being, I really do “More like my slip” I chuckle like it was funny at all.

She nods, recognizing what I just said, but still showing me her supporting self by putting her arm around shoulder in a side hug “Everyone makes mistakes” she says, making sure I looked at her when she spoke “you'll be fine” she assures me, leaning in to kiss my cheek and getting up from her spot. “Pick up whatever you’re bringing, we’ll get going in a few”

“Okay” I nod, looking up at her as she walked towards the door “Thanks Lis” I mumble giving her soft smile “I’m sorry for making Luke feel so bad”

She smiles back and waves her hand like if she’s trying to swing that comment away “No need to apologize, sweetie, you’re a beautiful and nice girl” She says, some of the weight somehow feels like it flew off my shoulders “I know you wouldn’t hurt him on purpose”

“Thanks” I say looking down, trying to hide my blushed cheeks between my hair.

“5 minutes” she instructs me before she’s out that door.

I guess that’s about it. Five minutes away from confronting the only guy who I’m so in love with that kind of terrifies me. Gosh, I hope I don’t do something stupid.

Well, good luck to me.

So after what seemed to be the shortest car ride I have ever been on in my entire life, we were here, facing the awfully empty back of the venue they were performing in, waiting for Luke’s brother to find the guy of the security team that would let us in to find the guys.

Those were an awful five to ten minutes, I don’t even know how long it took us to actually get in but in no time we were already backstage and everyone was living a very happy reunion moment, then there was me, who stood frozen at the door of the room looking at the scene quitely from my place.

It’s not like felt unhappy to be there, not at all, I was too happy, so happy I could barely move. He looked so good I could just look at him forever, he looked older, more mature, somehow taller, Last time I saw him he looked kind of different, but not now, he looked better than even.

Some of the guys acknowledge my presence and came to me for a quick hug, in which I still felt a little stiff and shocked to move at all, I hoped they don’t think I didn’t want to be there, things just felt a little heavy right now.

Everyone looked so happy, like nothing was happening, but not on my side. Luke hasn’t looked or said anything to me and I not pushing anything to change that, I can’t bring myself to him after our last conversation, I feel like if I do it I’d be going into a danger zone that could bring me to an end and I didn’t want to risk that.

He smiled at everyone, being so happy that his family was there, they laughed at jokes, they were catching up, making questions. They’re so happy. the moment seems to last forever, he enjoys himself with his loved ones and he seems totally fine until the moment his eyes land on me and his smiles fades just a little. My hands shake and I look away, he’s uncomfortable, I knew I had to stay outside.

Time passes and at some point, they are already set to get out before the guys have to get ready for the big night. I’ve seen how he keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eyes, I haven’t moved at all and my heart beats so fast that I can hear the pounding on my ears, I can’t just come over to him and say something. I just can’t.

When they are all heading out, I still can’t move. Lis looks at me and waits for me to go, but when we look at each other she smiles at me the last time and walks away, she thinks I want to talk to Luke and I do, but I’m not ready. I can’t say a word because before I can even talk she is already walking out the door and leaving me.

I turn my head to the side and it’s like all of my worst current nightmares are here because Luke is standing right in front of me, looking amazing but serious, he’s looking down at me and saying nothing. My brain is not working.

“Good luck” It’s all I can get to come out of my mouth. Not even a hello or any kind of greeting, nothing useful is going through my head right now.

“Thanks” he says, nodding, trying to get a decent smile out of him “you'll be watching right?” he asks, he sounds nervous for some reason, but honestly, not as nervous as I was.

“Always” I nod, smiling back. I want to say something else but my bottom lip is shaking already and I want to run away from this place, I am not ready, I feel sick, I need, I need- “I gotta go” I say, stopping any word that tried to get out of my mouth and trying to walk away but not make it look like I wanted to escape even when I totally was.

“See you later?” he asks before I can move at all. His eyebrows are now raised and looking for my answer.

“Yeah” I nod and smile again.

He nods back and takes a step forward to me, kisses my forehead and leaves. I am for sure going to pass out right in this second if I don’t walk out right now and that’s what I do, I leave, feeling my heart pounding so heavily that it could explode.

However, If that little moment even meant something, it made me feel a little bit alive again. Him and I definitely need to have a talk.

Time somehow seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. One moment I was watching their gig, taking pictures with my phone and singing their lyrics along with the audience, then I was in front of Luke, facing what seemed to be the worst of my fears right now.

He was sweating and so was I, none of us talking but looking at each other intensely, not caring about what anyone thought from watching us just say nothing in the middle of the hallway. We needed a moment.

“Hi” he says first, taking a step towards me so I could hear him better.

“Hi” I repeat almost automatically, I was nervous, I couldn’t really think about anything else to say that was somehow smart or useful, something that would sound like me but less scared, if that made any sense.

“You look great” It’s what I say, looking at him up and down, almost as if I was checking him out, I wasn’t but he for sure looked great. His hair all messy and his general look after a show was always something I would find attractive, especially on him, always on him.

“You too, nice blouse” He says giving me a sweet smile, looking at me the same way I did before.

“You gave it to me on christmas” I mention, smoothing down the fabric with the palms of my hands.

“I know, I remember” He nods, taking another step forward “I love how it looks on you”

“Thanks” I blush and look down, his presence was a little too intimidating for me at the moment, I could barely hear him over my heart beats, drumming on my ears so hard that it’s sound started to make me nervous, this was too much. I want to be over it now.

He sighs deeply the moment I look away from his face, His hands find a way across his hair, pulling it back in slight frustration and finding the right way to start such a conversation. I can’t blame him for not knowing what to say, I didn’t know either, I wanted all of this to be over so we could go home, but we both know that things don’t work that way and we had to talk about this one way or another, but it has to be now.

“Look-” We both say at the same time, stopping in track at the same time and waiting for one of us to speak up first, but none of us did.

“You first” he says. I shook my head in negation, too nervous to be the first one to speak up but before I could even say anything he interrupts me again. “Please” he says in a mumble, letting me be the first one to say something.

I nod, trying to find the right words to start “I-” my voice breaks before I can even start and my hands shake, this was more difficult than I anticipated “I fucked up again, sorry” It’s what I say, feeling like it was barely going to fix anything “I mean- I am really sorry, about what I said, I don’t mean it, I don’t think your job is useless, I don’t think you are shitty person, I just-” I hesitate bit I keep talking “I was angry and I took it out on you” I explain and my voice breaks once again, I try to find more words but his touch cuts me out.

His hands press against my arm, rubbing them softly and silently telling me to calm down even when I was completely freaking out.

“It’s alright” he says in a soft voice.

“No, it’s not alright” I shake my head, feeling the tears come in quickly to my eyes and fall on my cheeks “Luke, I miss you”

“I miss you too” he says in a small voice.

He doesn’t let me keep talking, he grabs my hand and makes me walk down the hallway until we reach an empty room, a maintenance room apparently. He locks the door behind us so no one can interrupt us at this moment, we both needed to hear each other clearly.

I am the one who starts talking.

“I guess I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry these last days have been so tense, I should have called you but I didn't, I just bottled up and you're right when You said I just hide all the time instead of facing shit, I should have talked to you and now I'm even more sorry that I didn't came to see you earlier when you landed-”

“(Y/n), breathe” He interrupts me, only to make me realise that all of this time I was rambling I almost forgot how to breathe properly, so I take a short break and give myself a minute to breathe, even though I just totally break down into crying, it felt too difficult to breathe in this particular situation. “there you go” he mumbles when I seem a little calmer and somehow relaxed. I felt better, but this was not over.

“I'm sorry, I really am” I mumble, looking at him in the eye.

“I know you are” He says back, taking my hands in his and caressing softly.

I lean back to catch my breath, sitting on a little chair in the corner of the room, not longer having anything else more to say more than what I just did, I was running out of ideas and I hoped that he didn’t take it the wrong way. “What did you need to tell me?” I ask, suddenly remembering he wanted to say something too.

“I just- uh- I wanted to know where we stand” he asks, clearly a little uncomfortable with all this “that last argument, it was no child's play, we both said some nasty things and trust me, I am extremely sorry” he says speaking truthfully about this “I guess all I want to know is, if we’re ok”

I nod, I know where he’s going, It’s so scary “I want us to be” I say, shrugging “but you're right, that last argument was kind of ugly”

he nods and sighs “Listen, I totally understand if you want to end it” he says and I froze “i was an asshole”

“No, it was my fault” I excuse.

“But I still said so much shit” he interrupts me, taking part of the blame with him “I don't want you to feel pressure into keep this going if you don't feel comfortable, it's okay, we've been together for a long time, if you feel like this is enough, I won't hold you back” he says.

the room falls into silence.

It’s true, the least thing I want is to break up with him, but for a brief minute I consider it, maybe it was the best option for the both of us, after dating for so long, maybe it was for the best if we just part. But then, who would be the one to call me on my lonely nights or stay with me on those rainy days when it’s cold outside, who would go with me on walks with our dogs, who would come up and show me new ideas for music, but most importantly, who would ever love me like he does, no one, no one would. I can’t break up with him. Not now, not a stupid fight.

“No” I finally say after a while “I don't want this to end”

He nods “Good” Luke says softly, smiling a little “Me neither”

“But I do want you to know that I am really sorry, Luke, for everything, it won’t happen again” I say, squeezing his hands that now are holding mine so carefully, as if I'm going to break “I am also so stressed lately and I don’t want you to think it is because of you, it is not”

“I understand” he nods. In a soft move, his forehead is now pressed against mine while he caresses my hands, I don’t want him to let go, ever. “We’ll go through this together, alright?”

“Yeah?” I sniff a little, this was overwhelming.

“Yeah” he chuckles, kissing the back of my hand “I love you so much” he says, looking into my eyes “I haven't say that in a while” he chuckles

“I love you more” I mumble, a real smile now showing on my face “I really do”

he leans in and steals a kiss from my lips. Somehow it feels unfamiliar for a second, it’s been months since I last saw him and kissing right now after what happened felt a little weird, but good, always good.

He holds my face with both hands and deeps up the kiss, making me know how much he needed this and how much he missed me, I did too, this felt beyond fantastic, to finally have him here and be able to feel him with me. I missed this guy so much.

We end the kiss and all we can do is look at each other. I know, this felt unreal. I can’t help myself but to give him a big hug, I felt so good after that kiss, I feel better than ever. We’re good, we’re fine. After all Lis was right, this was just a slip.

There’s a loud knock on the door that makes us both jump in surprise.

“Whatever you two are doing, hurry up, we’re going out” says Luke’s brother from the other side of the door.

Luke closes his eyes and sighs, I know, I don’t want this to end right now, We just need a little longer, just a few more minutes.

We kiss one more time, just to make this last a couple more seconds but his brother knocks again, letting us know that they want to go now.

“We should go” he says with a little smile.

“Agreed” I say with a smile, pressing our lips together once more.

He takes my hand and we leave the room, ready for a night with his family, a night that we would never forget, because we are now just fine and this is a good moment, we’re all together and that’s all that matters.

I love this boy and nothing would ever make me change my mind. No matter how many slips we have. I am his and he is mine, That’s all that matters.

#luke hemmings imagines #calum hood imagines #michael clifford imagines #ashton irwin imagines #5sos imagines #5sos preferences #5 seconds of summer preferences #5 seconds of summer imagines

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prorevenge · 6 years

Text

You mess with my cat, I'll bury you.

Sit back, this ended up kinda long.

TL;DR: Shitty coworkers let my cat live in filth for a week while I'm out of town, I get one demoted and crush the others life into dust.

I like to think I'm a patient man. I'm hard to anger, my coworkers say they haven't seen me angry in the 2 years they've known me. I have firm boundaries and as long as you don't cross any of them I can let anything go.

One of my boundaries is don't fuck with my cat.

This story is about 2 of my coworkers and me, and happened the winter of 2013.

So I worked at a veterinary hospital as a vet tech/kennel attendant, and coworker 1 is a kennel attendant(KA) coworker 2 is the kennel lead(KL). KA is the one who comes in to take care of the animals, KL is in charge of overseeing everything boarding and kennel related. They both crossed that very simple boundary.

I went away over Christmas since I lived in another state from my family, and while I was out I left my cat to board at work(one of the perks is free boarding). I trusted my coworkers would take care of him even if it was a top 2 busiest weekend of the year.

So, I set up his cage the night before I leave. He's a shy boy so i set up a tent with very distinct blankets(one is bright green, the other has rocket ships). I kiss him bye, and am on my way. I enjoy Christmas with family, candy and fudge, and other things unrelated to the story, and come back 6 days after leaving.

It's late when i get back, so the hospital is already closed and everyone has gone home. We all have a key so I swing by because I miss my cat and want to take him home.

What I am greeted by when I get to him is those same blankets, the white rocket ships now slightly tan/yellow damp with urine, old desiccated pieces of shit and smears on the wall, and a very stressed cat that smelled like pee. We're talking 6 days worth of filth. All they did was put in more food and change the litter box as far as I could tell.

I saw red.

KA, the attendant, was scheduled to take care of the animals that holiday. KL, the lead, had been there 3 different days I was gone, including the last 2. Figuring out how to destroy these people became the only thing i thought about.

I'm scheduled to work the day after I get back, and KA is there. I don't look at her all day, as it's the only way I could contol my emotions. My blood is still boiling thinking about my boy who I'd had to bathe the night before(much to his chagrin). The sight of her makes that primal part of my brain reserved for beating the shit out of things starts to burn and makes my muscles tense.

(Now some important backstory here is that KA is kind of terrible at her job. We were kind of friends since she was the only one who wasn't shitty to me when I first started. Whenever I'd find something she messed up, I'd gripe to myself but I'd fix it. She did some write-upable shit on a regular basis. I never did anything because KL was already aware and working on her so I figured 'eh, none my bidness.')

I decided against violence and figured I'd let my manager handle it. At first, I just told him about the condition of my cat and kept the rest to myself. He agreed it was unacceptable and said he'd talk to her. She denied everything, said she'd changed my cats bedding every night, that he didn't get all of it in the litter box(unfortunately true, 12lb cat[not fat] aiming at a box made literally for kittens). Basically said I lied to my manager, to my managers face without batting an eye. I gave her the chance to own up to it because that would've come with punishment enough.

My manager told me what she said, and her blatant bullshittery poked the dragon that was already awake and pissed. I told him she's fucking lying, I work in the kennel too and not to mention I know my cats shit well. He believes me, and I not so subtly point out that if she pulls this shit on an employee pet, what has she been doing with the lot of random boarders? Manager thought it was a good point, and asks me to keep an eye out for mistakes and let him know what I find.

The next day, I was in the kennel alone without her, and I began to document every single thing she did incorrectly. Remember me saying how crap she was at her job? She left me a treasure trove of shit to dig up.

To name a few of these nuggets, every single animals cage was filthy, like multi-day filthy like my cats was, two dogs had had their medications switched for the whole week, there were copious amounts of shit left in the yard(big no-no, spreads parasites and disease), and not even her documentation and charges were entered correctly. It was a trainwreck that took me the whole morning to get back to an acceptable condition.

There was material here to get her enough writeups to lose her job if she had been perfect before, and she had already been disciplined a couple times for other shit she pulled. I gather it all together and bring it to my manager, who is horrified and says he's setting up a meeting with me, KA and KL, and him to discuss it all. He encourages me to hold my temper and call them on their bullshit at the meeting. Until then I hadn't even considered KL's complicity in this bullshit, but I immediately realized there were 2 people on my wrong side. KL was not as horrid at his job as KA, he was old as hell in a demanding physical labor position. I figured what he'd got coming will be enough so I could aim everything I'd got at KA.

What's the human equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel? Because this girl had already dug herself such a hole it was incredible she hadn't been fired already. She didn't do her job, she was stealing clients from the clinic by offering to petsit for cheaper instead of offering boarding(explicitly against our contract, fireable). She had been leaving 30 minutes early leaving the shit condition I'd had to deal with. And I knew all of this.

The day of the meeting rolls around, and KA and KL are blissfully unaware when manager calls us into the office together. We all sit down and manager begins to explain what the meeting is about. He was a fucking boss and we prearranged to give KA one more chance to own up to my face and leave out the rest at first. He had asked me how far I wanted to take it, I told him I had a lot of dirt. Let's let KA dig a deeper hole first so I can use it all.

She denied it all, swore up and down she had taken care of my poor cat properly. I graciously gave her the benefit of the doubt, saying ok I believe you did clean like you say, but then how did you miss this dried up piece of shit? She said my cat must've been dehydrated. I say "oh, well you documented he'd been drinking well all week, why would he be dehydrated?" She says it might have been just from the last day. She wouldn't just admit it... So I give my manager the look, and he tells her "ok so you took care of the cat, what about all of this?" And he pulls out my stack of evidence I'd collected.

KA's face paled. KL had been silent up to this point and starts trying to apologize on KA's behalf, saying it was a busy week and things slip through the cracks. I called their shit, saying I had been able to handle as many animals as she had had to a higher degree of cleanliness than the 2 of them could accomplish, so busy was not a valid excuse.

We went over every single sin KA and KL had committed for the past 3 days, individually and in depth with discussion about each one before moving on. As we worked through the stack, manager wrote up KA for every single offence that warranted it. By the end of it she had 6 writeups(3 to get fired). She was sobbing, saying she couldn't afford her kids daycare if she didn't have that job. My manager very pointedly told her he had never seen someone with such terrible job performance in 30yrs, and if she were worried about her kids she would have done her job better.

KL was written up and removed from his lead position, and KA was given the option to quit before she was fired.

The end.

... hah! No it isn't. This is ProRevenge, not GirlOnlyLostHerJob. Oh no, there's so much more.

Remember how she had been stealing clients from the clinic? She had built up quite a large client base, and had told me some weeks before she was about to quit her job and petsit fulltime since she hates her job sooo much. Plus when she returned her key after quitting, she made sure I knew the crying was fake and she was planning to put in 2 weeks in the next couple days.

At the clinic, we still saw all of those same clients she had skimmed all the time, and plenty of them asked what happened to KA. Manager told everyone we should tell the truth, since we had a petsitter we referred to and KA was not it.

For the next few months, we saw so many faces twisted into expressions of disgust, contempt, betrayal, worry when we told them why KA was no longer there and why they should reconsider letting her watch their pets. Literally dozens of people. Anyone who has tried to petsit or do yardwork for a living before knows how hard it is to build that client base. KA had a decent one, which we absolutely destroyed.

After a while, she texted me saying I was a piece of shit who was destroying her and her kids life and she couldn't afford daycare anymore. She went from 2 or 3 petsitting gigs a week(about 300 dollars a week) to maybe 1 a month. I told her to fuck herself and blocked her number, and haven't heard anything since. Bitch.

Don't fuck with my cat.

Updates:

Edit for those saying I'm a shit human for letting this go as long as it did: KA and KL cleaned sometimes, just not enough for my standards. KA had only been there a few months and it was her first big girl job (yes, kidS at 20yrs old), and there's a small learning curve. I figured it'd be ok for a week and was poor as shit at the time so options were thin. Until that week, i was there constantly cleaning to my standards so didn't know how bad these 2 would really let it get. Protocol said lead is informed of performance issues before manager, and as i mention he was aware and KA had already been written up a couple times. I was done when i realized just how far they'd let it go so i went over KLs head right to manager because they clearly weren't handling the issues at all. Even if my cat wasn't affected, I would've done the same, he was just unfortunately there because i had to go out of town. In hindsight i wish I'd said something sooner, but workplaces have rules and i was young and tender, and didn't know it was that bad until then. But yes I'm a terrible person who abuses animals, gets people SWATted, I'm pompous and arrogant and only care when things personally affect me and my cat. You're right, reddit!

Edit 2: I'll take this opportunity to give some advice on how to pick a good kennel facility. Always, i mean ALWAYS, ask to take a tour before leaving your animal. Dont schedule an appointment, ask to go back randomly. If they try to say no, say you dont feel comfortable leaving your pet without an idea of where they're staying. If they still wont, and even a manager denies a tour, take your business elsewhere as they probably have something to hide.

If you do get a tour, here are some things to look out for. Check water bowls for grime and dirt. Some pets are messy, but if a good number are dirty, it's a big red flag.

If the kennel smells strongly of some kind of air freshener, be wary and look around for messes. A good kennel attendant will smell pee and clean and replace things until they get rid of the smell; a bad one will spray some animal odor eliminator and cover it up.

Make sure everything looks organized, properly labeled, and has some kind of system to it. Cluttered storage and unclear labeling is where so many mistakes come from; make sure they take those little things seriously, or something big may slip through the cracks.

Finding a good clinic and good boarding facility can be difficult, but they do exist. And just like you wouldn't want you or your child going to a shitty doctor or daycare, I don't want anyone taking their pets to a shitty veterinary clinic!

(source) (story by Amesa)

#pro revenge #by Amesa #prorevenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge

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rahmaelsayad · 6 years

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Latest Whatspp Status Collection

First of all thanks for the landing site, new hats app status. If you are searching for the latest collection of Whatsapp Status to update your profile status then we must say you are in the right place. After doing lots of research and making remarkable efforts we finally manage to prepare the best collection of Status & Quotes for you all. You surely going to love this place for sure. Also, not all the below Status on Whatsapp is in 100+ different moods, you surely going to love this place for sure. This page is updated on regular basis, so stay connected with us. If you face any problems in copying these Whatsapp Statuses then report us, We will solve your problems as soon as possible. Now let’s directly jump into the collection, enjoy.

New Whatsapp Status – New Whatsapp Status Collection

If you make a boy laugh, He likes you. But if you make a boy cry, He loves you.

Bahut gurur tha sbko apni daulat pe.. zara sa zameen kya hili sb aukat me aa gye..

I told my parents I had my eye on a bike for my birthday. They told me to keep my eye on it because my arse won’t be on it.

Finding friends that have the same mental disorder as you.

It can take me anywhere between 0.02 seconds and 3 days to reply to a text.

Sometimes it is painful to see that the people most appreciate is false.

Girls with open messy hair, chubby cheeks, a dimple, and spectacles.. Aww, you look so cute.!

Opportunity tends to knock once, then it’s gone…temptation, however, likes to stand there and lean on the damn doorbell!

Make your nature simple, the time will not be wasted.

Hope is the power that gives a person the confidence to step out and try…..

Alone doesn’t mean lonely, lonely doesn’t have to be alone.

Beauty is power, a smile is its sword..

We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are.

Things r beautiful if u love them.

If I could be anything, l would be ur tear, so l could be born in ur eye, live down ur cheek and die on ur lips…

You say it best when you say nothing at all!!

Sometimes, i want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view!

Shit happens. Everyday. To everyone. The difference is in how people deal with it.

Maturity is not when we start speaking big things. It is when we start understanding small things.

Sometimes I’ts better To be Alone.. Nobody Can Hurt You!

God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! 🙂

Last seen 1980! 😀

Thinking holds what you feel, feeling drives what we think.

A friendship that can end never really began !

I dont have a lot of friends, I just know a lot of people.

A friend is someone who knows all abt u and accept u as u are.

Right or Wrong doesn’t ‎exist! When u have a ‎CONFIDENCE.

Life is Just a Journey.

New status for whatsapp facebook

Be bold to own your mistakes in Life, accept your faults and improve your personality.

I speak for what i see, I stand for what I Beileve. I strive for what i want.

When u love someone, even though they hurt u nd break your heart, you still love them with all the little pieces!!

World is small and life is short.. Spread smiles and share peace.

People who tolerate me on the daily basis! are real heroes in my eye.

Life goes on with or without you!

I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins. 😀

I am the circle, and the circle is me.

24 Hours Online!

Classic book is a book which people praise, but do not read.

Cheer up, tomorrow will be a better day, just believe!

It might take awhile, but eventually you’re going to find the good in goodbye.

When the past calls, let it go to voicemail.. it’s got nothing new to say.

Play the moments. Pause the memories. Stop the pain. Rewind the happiness.

Romantic are people that had never seen the other side of the things.

The Ones Who Are Crazy Enough To Think That They Can Change The World Are The Ones Who Do.

Love is not possible without sacrifice, and sacrifice is not possible without love.

Love is when u have seen the best and the worst of sam1,yet u still love them for what they have..

True love doesan’t have a happy ending. It has NO ending.

Call me crazy, but I’m madly in love with you and this won’t go away for a while, so get use to it..

New Status Quotes for Whatsapp FB

Sometimes you have to act like you don’t care, even when you do.

You have no idea how much l like you. How much you make me smile, how much l love talking to you, or how much l wish you were here.

Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don’t have.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my status.

Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.

What is known in the heart doesn’t always need to be uttered by Mouth.

Don’t feel special. Some people keep your number in phone list just not to answer your call.

After all we all are stories in the end.

Sometimes the person you trust most is the one who trust you the least.

Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you.

New status latest quotes for whatsapp

Some People Change Your Life, Then Leave Without Explanation !!

The most eloquent silence, that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.

Play the moments. Pause the memories. Stop the pain. Rewind the happiness.

I Miss you dearly my heart aches, My head is lost, I really miss you.

The Ones Who Are Crazy Enough To Think That They Can Change The World Are The Ones Who Do.

Romantice are people that had never seen the other side of the things.

I think I might be falling for you. I love who you are and every little thing you do.

Life doesn’t get easier u get stronger.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Stop saying I wish start saying I will.

Love yourself love your day love your life.

Don’t let a bad day make u feel u have a bad life.

I’ve got nothing to bo today but smile.

Life is to short to remove USB slowly.

Nobody can teach me who I am.

It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

Sometimes it’s not about missing someone. its wondering if they’re missing you

You know how you don’t want to miss them, but you want them to miss you

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.

If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?

Dont talk if you dont have any good thing to say

A female can be your best friend and worst enemy. It all depends on how you treat her.

Remember, You are unique, but then again so is everyone else in this world.

Sometimes the right one for you is the one who was there the whole time.

If they can’t swallow facts, let them eat fiction.

I think of you in colours that don’t exist.

Guys who run girl’s account on Facebook are the ones who secretly buy barbie and comb its hair.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

Mujhe teri mohabbat ko sahara mil gaya hota.. agar tufan nahi aata kinara mil gaya hota…

Pluviophile: a lover of rain, someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

Aarju honi chahiye dill me kise ko yad karne ki.. Lamhe toh apne ap he miljate he dost

Baharo phool barshao mera mehboob aya hain..

Saw a Chinese kid and a black kid wave to each other today. It gave me hope…for another Rush Hour movie…

They say what goes around comes around, passed a packet of chips and never came back.

Duniya main sirf 2 Chize Mashoor Hai, tere bhai ka Style, aur teri bhabhi ki smile.

Thanks to the words ‘dude’ ‘bro’ and ‘man’ I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.

Tu hi ye mujhko bata de.. chahu main ya na..

Ye zami ruk jaye, Ye aasma tam jaye, Jab tere chara samn aaye.

We finally hope guys you all enjoyed all the above latest collection of Whatsapp Status 2018, if you really enjoyed this collection then don’t forget to appreciate our efforts in comments below. On other hand don’t just go away, also check our previous articles on Whatsapp Status, cheers for the day and stay connected.

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juuls · 4 years

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Pinned: Writing Updates

Hiya folks! ^_^ With this new pinned post feature, I figured it would be a good spot to put updates on how my writing is going (or not). As most of you know, mental and physical illness and recovery keep me from writing either quickly or easily, and I know that bothers or puts off some of you. Believe me, I feel guilty a lot of the time I’m not writing, but I know that nobody wants me to feel like this is a job, that I should enjoy what I do, and I try my best to just relax and let the writing come to me. It has always been a grueling task for me, and my words fight me, but I choose to see this as a labour of love. Thank you, everyone, for your support (and for holding up my fragile, rebuilding, self-confidence/ego :P). Managing chronic pain and illnesses along with fairly rapid-cycling Bipolar II makes things a bit messy, but I keep pushing because writing (and you amazing readers) means so much to me. 💜

UPDATE September 4th: see below “Read More”

Previous update, August 21st: Still only about 2400 words into chapter 28 of Cross, and I deleted Hurricane due to reasons but will be working on it bit by bit to instead post it as a single-chapter fic later on when people aren’t so busy anymore. Means I can focus on Cross though, which is all people want from me anyway. S’all good! Looking forward to moving that story along anyway.

Still have @grlie-girl’s Mansom fic, which is an MTH-adjacent fic. But then that’s it! Then I’ll start back up on Deliverance, my Stuckony kidfic, and keep moving Cross along. :) I’ve also been doing quite a lot of brainstorming for my original fiction series, which will be a combo SciFi-Fantasy series with magic and tech both, along with an eventual triad relationship! I’m really excited for it, even if it takes me decades more to write. xD

Works in Progress:

Hanging From a Cross of Iron: Fem!Tony Stuckony, time travel and soulmate AU. Just posted chapter 27 on July 19th! Yay! I’m about 2400 words into chapter 28 and I’m forging ahead as mental and physical health allows. But I think... maybe before the end of August? Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and patience!

Stony MTH fic for @ishipallthings: Fem!Tony Stony, Pacific Rim AU. Natasha Stark/Steve Rogers (Earth-3490) Get Together fic. @sparkly-angell is awesome and helping me by being a soundboard and beta. 5-15k. Will post it all together at a later date instead of chapter by chapter.

Deliverance: Stuckony kid fic, post-Avengers but in the alternate timeline that occurs after Avengers: Endgame. Have not forgotten about this, but it dropped in priority once I sorta over-committed myself to MTH, whoops. I’ll be back to this, though. :)

Gift fic for @grlie-girl, Mansom: (Marta/Ransom) from Knives Out. Dirty, filthy, femme!Domme Sugar Mama post-canon oneshot. I may need a second account to post this pile of filthy hot lava. ;)

Recently Finished Works:

Thread Work: Stuckony wingfic featuring Tony’s sister Darcy, written for MTH.

Ten Days: PepperStuckony bodyguard AU written for MTH for @tehroserose and @astudyinsolitude-writes.

Bad: a ShockStuckony get-together, meddling matchmaker Darcy fic, written for MTH.

I will try to keep this up to date but sometimes I’ll forget. Check back occasionally to see if I’m any closer to updating! I love all of my readers and commenters, and am so blessed to have you choose to read my work. Thank you so much. So so much. I’m sorry for the wait, but I’m a comeback kid, I promise. Sending love, and be safe and healthy and good to those around you.

Love, <3 Juulna

UPDATE September 4th: I’m going to put up a separate post, probably, but what’s going on is this... I obviously have Bipolar II and have learned to ride the ups and downs pretty well in recent years, even if some things still surprise me on occasion. But what I’ve never been able to properly treat or learn to deal with is anxiety. I’ve always had GAD (general anxiety) but it’s been untreated since I had so much other shitty health to focus on. Prioritization, right? And I needed all my faculties to not end up dead at the hands or by the gun of my ex. Then, after I left, I was making strides in recovering from the severe abuse and trauma at my ex-husband’s hands, sharp tongue, and actions from July 2017 until... well, it’s still an ongoing process, but this whole year, part of 2019 too, has been a lot better on the healing front. The strides I was making helped me focus on things other than my anxiety, but after dealing with those things, the anxiety started crawling insistently in.

Didn’t help that I finally felt up to checking out what was going on in the world more often. And it’s been good for me, it has... in that I’ve become better educated in the awfulness of the world, which has allowed me to call out racists, ‘Truthers’, and other asshole bigots who remind me of my ex. The downside of all that is that I am way over-empathetic and am appalled at the absolute.... *makes incoherent helpless noises*... just, appalled at EVERYTHING. And I am afraid. And worried. And angry. And a slew of other words that I’m sure every one of you get. You’re all intelligent; you know what’s going on in the world.

With love,

Juulna / Meg

#my writing #stuckony #stucky #stony #female tony stark #hanging from a cross of iron #deliverance #firecracker #marvel trumps hate #updates #status update #masterpost #of a sorts #hurricane #mth 2019

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johannawriteson · 6 years

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Who’s up for some writer masochism in the month of November?

It’s that time of the year again…time to talk all things National Novel Writing Month. It feels strange to be writing a blog about NaNoWriMo while the world continues to fall apart around us. But as many wiser authors have said before me, one of the best ways to get ideas, conversations, and solutions out into the world is by writing books. So with that said: who’s in for NaNoWriMo this year? In case you don't live on Twitter, National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) is this strange time when a whole bunch of writers across the country all try to write a novel in a month. It happens in November. I imagine a good portion of the country stops sleeping. I’ve done NaNo before, and it’s an amazing experience. While it intermittently makes me want to stick needles in my eyes, it definitely pushes you to build your writing discipline and hold yourself to deadlines. I wasn’t going to do NaNo this year because I accidentally sort of just did my own NaNo in September…a muse attacked, which is basically the best thing that can happen to a writer, and I churned out more writing than I had in months. BUT THEN. This idea for the sequel came to me. So I think I’m going to try writing that sequel in November. Right now I’m in what I call “NaNo prep mode,” which is basically where I spend a few weeks obsessing about all the ways I can pre-plan my NaNo project in order to make the experience better. You know, so I can throw the whole plan out in the first week of November when I decide it isn’t working. Super productive, right? Anyway, in case you too are a writing masochist and are considering taking on NaNo this year, here are some things I like to have planned ahead of time. 1. Character sketches When one is trying to write 50,000 words in a month, one hardly wants to waste time figuring out what color hair their MC has. One’s time would be better spent figuring out why one is referring to oneself with such a ridiculous pronoun. 2. General plot outlines I’m not talking a detailed chapter-by-chapter summary here, unless that’s how your brain rolls. My brain works well in acts, so right now I’m just sketching out the general arc for the three acts of my novel. Obviously things will change as I go, but at least I’ll have some general directions to steer my characters in while I’m sobbing over my computer every morning. 3. A writing schedule and goals Writing 50k in a month can feel overwhelming if you haven’t broken down how you’re going to tackle that on a daily or weekly basis. Are you going to shoot for 2k a day every day? 13k every weekend? 5k three times a week? It helps me to plan what my smaller writing goals are and then block the days and times on the calendar when I will be doing nothing but frantically typing. Obviously I can’t stick to the same schedule every single week—Thanksgiving is the great interrupter of NaNo schedules everywhere—but if I know my word deadlines for each week, I know I can always adjust my writing times and days accordingly. 4. Ice cream deliveries I love NaNo, but it can be a rough go if the muses aren’t working in your favor. It definitely forces you to put your characters on paper when they just don’t want to be there. So stock up on whatever gets you through the rough times, and don't be afraid to up your calorie intake where necessary. 5. Accountability I am basically a non-functioning human if someone isn’t holding me accountable for my goals, so I know I need wider accountability when I launch projects like this. With some projects, I’ve sent my weekly writing to a friend on certain days. Some people join NaNo groups where everyone posts and shares their word counts on a regular basis. Between Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and Insta, there is no shortage of places where you can publicly or privately share your writing goals with others and give yourself some accountability. This time, I’m trying out a different type of accountability: I’m holding myself accountable through this blog. A few times a week I’ll update here with my progress (or lack thereof). Because for some reason right now it seems like a great idea to add more writing on top of my NaNo goals themselves. We’ll see how long that feeling lasts. So, who’s in? Join the masochism and finally write that novel you've been talking about writing for months. Come NaNo with us, and in December we can all whine together about what a terrible idea it was.

#national novel writing month #nanowrimo #nanowriting #amwriting #amwriting YA

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mynameistori · 6 years

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entry 2 (aug 16)

Hello everyone!

I’ve been meaning to write something but I think writing too often sets me up for failure and I’d like this blog to live for a while. Though I think my cyclic mental state will act as motivation for me to continue to write. Let me update you on what I’ve been doing and thinking about!

Wonderland

Yesterday I went to Wonderland (an amusement park about 40 minutes away from my house) with my nephew Little Bear (literal translation of our nickname for him haha) who’s 11 years younger than me. Fun fact: Little Bear is 11 years younger than me and my next cousin up is 11 years older than me (who we’ll call Melon in case he shows up in a future entry). I had tons of fun, even though we were only there for about 5 hours. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken so much Chinese in my life before! And what’s weird is that I probably could’ve used Shanghainese more (since I’m definitely more fluent in that) but I think I was more comfortable using Chinese with him?? Totally weird. We got there around 5 pm originally because my mom said the tickets were cheaper (they weren’t that much cheaper -- we still spent like 90 bucks for the two of us -- should’ve bought them from Costco) but I also hate being out in the sun (I hate tanning and it just makes me a grumpier person). Luckily the wind was cool and the longest line we were in was for about an hour (for the best ride, so it was reasonable). Only downside was probably going on a ride involving water first (Riptide) and getting moderately soaked such that my foot got a blister from my shoes within the first hour, which caused me to painfully limp for the rest of the night.

I enjoy going to amusement parks like Wonderland because they force physical reactions out of me. Sound weird, but let me explain. My mental control is so strong (or my soul is so dead -- it’s pretty much the same at this rate) that I don’t experience feelings most of the time. My emotions are heavily guarded! So high thrill rides make me feel fear, adrenaline, excitement, as well as a different kind of control (because restraints make rollercoasters safe and conquerable, it feels like I’m letting myself go on an enjoyable ride from a mystical animal friend).

@_torigram

I know I linked an Instagram account and I’ve been thinking a lot about it (@_torigram in case you missed it at the top of this page). It’s mainly a place where I can post random dance videos because there’s a lot of dances I want to learn but I don’t want to post them on my main account because I’m self-conscious about my dancing and I hate watching myself dance. However, I think that having an account dedicated to this stuff will help me get over my insecurities. To maintain my privacy I’ll be wearing a hat and one of those mouth mask things and I’ll try to keep my outfit as plain as possible (or at least not wear something that someone can notice as mine).

It’s also where I’ll post my “Challenge Videos”! The story behind this is that I wanted to challenge my friend (let’s call him Cover Boy for now, but he’s also involved with the “two nights ago” story I was talking about in my last entry so I might as well just call him Pretty Boy) to do one cover a week. For those who don’t know what covers are, they’re just copying (and sometimes changing up) an original artist’s work and posting it online. So if I were to do a dance cover of someone’s choreography, I’d learn from a video of theirs and post it on my Instagram. The Challenge would go like this: I’d give Pretty Boy a song and he’d have a week to learn as much of the dance and any part of it he’d like and then post the video to Instagram (or at least send a video to me through Messenger). I think this was something I wanted to do myself for a while, and after seeing him do something like this casually on his Instagram (he’s done two) made me want a buddy to do this with. He’s been extremely stressed recently though, so I told him I would hold off for a little longer before presenting him with this. Hopefully he’d be down to do it, but I’m pretty sure I’d continue without him. It’ll mostly be kpop dance covers, so sorry to those who hate kpop! As for vocal covers, they’d be in English because I’m not confident with my Korean pronunciation, haha.

I’ll post on the Instagram before the summer ends (likely sometime next week, when I head back to Waterloo for my last few part-time shifts for the term), so keep an eye out~ I’ve got a couple of dances ready but I’m not good at learning from videos (I’ve learned from teachers pretty much all my life so dissecting videos frame by frame is so tedious -- props to y’all who do this on a regular basis) so hopefully I can keep a good pace with releasing the videos. We’ll see how everything works out!

Meteor Garden

I recently started watching Meteor Garden 2018! I’ve always been a huge Hana Yori Dango fan -- I think i’ve watched the whole thing at least 3 times and refused to watch the taiwanese and korean versions because to be honest, the japanese cast looks the best and the manga is Japanese. Also, Matsuda Shota was in it and Liar Game (which he’s also in) is one of my all-time favourite dramas. It might be my top actually… I decided to watch the Meteor Garden remake mainly because it was on Netflix and because it takes place in Shanghai. It takes me back sometimes because I always try to guess where this is taking place and how hard it must’ve been to shoot some of the scenes because of how populated Shanghai is, haha.

This drama also helped me feel a lot better because it made me think about something other than my own shitty life and it made me laugh a lot. It also made me think about my ideal guy I suppose. I think I have a better idea as to what kind of guy I’d want to date next or even settle down with. I don’t know if I should type some traits out for you… hahaha. Well, I guess I might as well since this place is pretty private and I shouldn’t be so uptight (?) about this stuff. Sorry for the organization of this next section, it might be a bit wonky. I’m trying to work it out in my head but it’s still pretty messy. Let’s call him IB for Ideal Boy.

LOOKS: I don’t think I’ve ever been picky about looks with my previous boyfriends, but I’d like IB to be more of a pretty boy (not referring to Pretty Boy in any way, haha though he does fit the description) with a lean build. Someone that can turn heads when dressed up. I would like him to be taller than me (I’m pretty tall to begin with at 167 cm), but I’ve dated shorter guys before. I think I haven’t been picky about looks in the past because I don’t consider myself to be beautiful. I don’t think I’m ugly per se, but I think I’m pretty darn average when it comes to looks (though others call me pretty).

INTELLIGENCE: I’ve been involved with (dating/friends with benefits) 6 boys in the past and 4 of them were/ended up as engineers (it would be 5 but he got kicked out of engineering, good riddance because he was a rude dude), so I guess I like smart boys. I don’t think having a university degree says anything about how smart you are. I’d just like someone to exchange opinions with, someone who can hold a conversation and be curious about my life (because I’m unfortunately not that talkative), and someone who’s just as clever, crafty, and witty as me. I’d like IB to be knowledgeable about what he likes/dislikes as well as “street smart” I suppose. I would want him to be able to show me all of his favourite spots and go-tos in whatever city we’re in.

HUMOUR: I think my humour is pretty dark? I don’t know what to say about humour but I’d like IB to have a similar sense of humour to me (or at least get my humour) and to know when to stop joking around because I’m generally quite serious and hate it when people don’t take me seriously (thanks mom and dad).

ROMANCE: I like pet names (call me sweetheart, babe, and princess, IB) and stealing his clothes (why are boy’s clothes so darn comfortable???). I also like eating nice food and sharing everything we eat so we can try more dishes. I like holding hands in public, forehead and neck kisses, and back hugs. I like cuddling, making out in bed for hours, and getting touched all over (okay except for my left ribs - scoliosis problems - and my knees - they’re sensitive but in a bad way). I like receiving and giving hickies because I’m kind of possessive? And I’d like IB to be slightly possessive as well. Let’s not move to more intimate topics, sorry internet maybe some other time :)

TRUST: I’d want him to be able to listen to me without judgment and to always be truthful with me. I don’t want him to hide anything from me (especially when it’s people talking shit behind my back) and to trust me to deal with problematic situations well enough (this is the main reason why me and my most recent boyfriend -- let’s call him Balloon Boy -- broke up, aside from being long distance and being too similar in our introverted-like traits).

PERSONALITY: Loud but quiet. I’d like IB to be more outgoing than me because I’m quiet and shy in general (especially around strangers) and am socially anxious, so I’d want him to hold my hand and lead me out of my comfort zone I think IB should be passionate about something in his life, whether it be a hobby or career-related. Extra points if he sings or dances, because then we’d have something in common. I don’t want IB to be nonchalant (more nonchalant than me is a nono) because it gets tiring being the one in charge all the time. Some spontaneity is good, and taking risks is nice too because I’m a rebel at heart though it seems like I’m super uptight all the time.

AGE: to be honest, I don’t really care much about age. So far, I’ve gone 3 years older and 2 years younger. I like mature boys though because I’d want to have serious deep talks and be able to ask them for their opinions on life and whatnot.

I don’t know how to continue on from that rough list, so I guess that’s all from me for now. I think the next ones will be about Pretty Boy and Balloon Boy, so get ready for some angst? Until then, be merry :)

Tori

#entry 2 #wonderland #Little Bear #Melon #_torigram #dance challenge #Pretty Boy #Meteor Garden 2018 #Ideal Boy #Balloon Boy

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