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sweetbluebanisters · 11 months

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Ultraviolent

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Who Controlling!Miguel O’Hara x Sweet!Reader

Warnings Contains!Smut, Violence, Abuse

Backstory A sweet bartender from the coast of California clashes with a mean man, who never doesn’t get his way. Two different personalities, don’t always work out in ways you’d wish.

This is my first time writing on Tumblr so please be kind and feel free to give advice + corrections in the comments! Also, Miguel speaks Spanish so I'm trying to incorporate that as well. Please tell me if any part of the Spanish lines do not make sense! I’m very limited and I don't think the google translator helps. at all.

Ch. l sweet as sugar

Ch. II Deadly Nightshade

.୨୧˚.

Futuristic Cars, High tech machines that you could not work even if you tried. Marble white everywhere, buildings where robots work the magic. They were all completely brand new to you. Nueva York is something you’ll probably never get used to.

You came from a rather big city in California, High crime, robberies left and right, litter everywhere, sweet beaches you can see from miles and miles away, and palm trees that are so big you could never miss them even if you tried. Also just known as Los Angeles!

Your name was __________ Monroe, you often went by Monnie in L.A, though. You are 22, fresh out of college where you majored in Cognitive science. You were always the one people could count on if they wanted to have fun, the one that no matter how bad they messed up, you made light out of that darkness. Least to say, you are a respected and honored person in the Spider Society.

You joined along Miguel and Jessica, a little trio if you'd say. About 2 years ago, You were exposed to a radioactive spider during a walk home from the club, all tipsy and alone. You didn't register what happened until the following day. You begin to feel soreness and itchiness on your wrist. You were easily agitated which was extremely uncommon for a girl like yourself.

You noticed your indurance and speed increased in a matter of days. You began to notice yourself being able to call tons, light weight. Throughout your first year of being exposed, you then found out about your identity. Even you hid from yourself. You didn't know how to approach it at all, if you even had to. Until you met Miguel, spider-man 2099. From a completely opposite detention as yours.

You were alone at home, per usual. Your only job as of now was a bartender for a night club, you got good tips though. It was around eight- o’clock, you begin to get all dolled up for her night shift at the club. Fixing your long _____ hair, dressing in very, exposed outfit to put into simpler terms. You put on makeup to your smooth skin, and strapped your heels to your feet. Grabbing your coach bag, ready to head out, standing 2ft near your exit just to quickly grab your keys out of quiet literally nowhere you are struck to the ground, it was so quick its like you glitched from standing to groaning on your hard wood floors. Feeling as if Zeus himself punished you for whatever sinful thing you had done and struct you down with lighting.

“Wha- What the hell!” You blink in shock, turning your head behind you as a very, broad man look down at you, looking at you in confusion, you give the same exact look back. Its a 10 second staring contest before you realize the predicament you're in and speak up “Where the hell did you come from!” You shout, the man realizes that this complete stranger he's on top of is about to hit him with her coach bag, that looks to weigh tons.

“No! No- my bad!” His hands go up as he quickly crawls off of you, standing up and extending his hand for you to grab. Instead of excepting the help, you gets up on your own before groaning “Jesus Christ how much do you weigh?”

“Im not in the mood for remarks like that.” The stranger scolded, looking at you as you stare at him in in unremarkable disbelief. “You’re in my house telling me you're not in the mood for remarks like that? Why are you in my house and where did you enter!” She snapped, looking at the man up in down, studying his features.

“And why are you in that Spiderman suit.” She mumbles under her breath, her eyes study the mans suit, seeing that he actually looks very.. built. the man rolled his eyes before speaking “You need to stop waisting your time and except that you're a Spider-Human.” He deadpans, looking at you, you had to extend your head up just to look into his scarlet eyes, you’d be lying if you said the man wasn't attractive.

“Are you cosplaying right now? Like are you actually insane?” You provoked the big man, he looks down, grabbing the bridge of his nose while shaking his head entirely. “You were bitten by a radioactive spider, you do realize, right? Didn't you notice the symptoms?” He question looking at you, but you couldn't help shake the feeling that you felt like you were in the clouds

“I was convinced it was just a regular bite, I was like getting stronger but I thought it was because I was working out?” You wondered, looking down and realizing that even though this shouldn't be happening to her, it does make sense to why she suddenly started feeling stronger, and quicker.

“Able to lift heavy objects like they weigh 5 pounds?”

“Yep.”

“Running faster and running and for longer?”

“Sure.”

“Hearing increased?”

“Oh, yeah! sometimes I can hear my neighbors moaning through 2 stor-” “I didn't need all that, at all. You do realize you are the Spiderwomen of this dimension? Haven't you seen anything on the news?” He hesitated, looking at the girl who pondered her next choice of words “Oh, I mean I never really noticed I was bit but something like that. But, yeah there's a weird man with holes in his body that is like causing havoc or whatever, I thought he was cosplaying too though.” She began, looking at the man who seemed fed up.

“No! No one is ‘cosplaying’! This is real, and you put your dimension in tremendous danger—“

“What am I supposed to do, just tell him to stop?”

“As I was saying, you’re just sitting on your ass and doing nothing, do you need to be taught?” The man stressed, she looks confused before speaking up

“Taught?”

“Por dios! Taught how to work through the Spider women thing! Like how to shoot webs, or how to y’know how to do your job!”

“Oh.. I don't even know if I want all that responsibly..” You truthfully tell, the man bites his tongue back before continuing “You put on the responsibility of spider by getting bit by this spider, you--” He urged out, before getting cut off my you “Excuse me? I was drunk and I didn't know! I promise you if I was sober and I saw that spider I would've ran, trust.” She corrected, the man began to think that you might have been missing just a few screws, not even loose screws. They're just gone.

“Please, this dimension needs a Spider-human they know they can rely on, at least come with me.” He pleaded, looking at you as you kept your eyes locked with his, you bit her lip as you began

“But we already have a Spiderman?”

“Yeah, it’s you. What do you not get?”

“No, no. We have a Spiderman, I’m pretty sure he lives in Brooklyn.”

You can tell by the way that he’s looking at you, that information was definitely unexpected. But to avoid the loud silence, you speak up “Where am I going?” You mumbled, the man smiled back his pride before continuing

“It's a dimension where all the Spidermen and Women work along each other, some live there and some go back to their homes. There's a training center, I can help you.” The man explained, he seemed to be dedicated to his job, you nodded with curiosity before speaking up “Do I need to stay there or-”

“No, you can go back home whenever, but if you want it is easier if you'd say.” He advised, you looked at him with a sweet smile before joking “It sounds like you want me there more than I do myself.” he scoffed before shaking head head, denying the accusation.

“I just don't want another dimension going down in flames, that I have to save again.” He projected as you nodded, not listening at all. He tapped his watch with ease, as a spiraled portal projected out of what you thought to be thin air. “What's your favorite colors?” He asked, you look at him weirdly before telling him “Pink and.. uh.. black, why?”

“You'll find out.”

“Oh my god its so pretty!” Your smile lights up, cheering as you grab the custom made suit just for you, Miguel finds himself admiring the way you get excited for something so little “The little gems on the spider, Miguel!” You laugh as you look in the dressing mirror, putting the body suit up to you, trying to imagine how it would look on. The way you said his name has his stomach turning in ways classified as enjoyable. “Does everyone get costume suits too?” You question, looking at Miguel for the key to your answer

“Yes, but some people stick to the blue and red combo for the cliche.” He answers, looking towards you as you still admires yourself in the full body mirror, she looks at Miguel before asking her wanted question

“Can I try it on, please?” You pleaded, looking at the rather tall man as he nods in approval, you speed walk into the changing room, making sure to close the door behind you before striping yourself of your heels, and your dress. being left in just her undergarments “Excuse me?” You pardon herself, the man looks at the changing room door, that hides your face. “Hm?”

“Do I wear a bra with this?” You ask, no implied innocence being stripped from that sentence, Miguel purposely coughs, he didn't know himself either. “Uhm, for now, yes. Let's just see how it looks.” He answers, you hum in approval as Miguel taps his foot, waiting for you to come out of the wardrobe with your rather tight body suit. “Its on!” You reveal, you steps out of the dressing room and looks at Miguel with your arms down to your side

“Does it look alright?” You ask for his opinion, turning around so he can get a full view, Miguel looks at you, he couldn't help but notice the way it hugged your curves, but instead of voicing that, he just nods. He approaches behind you as you now admiring yourself in the mirror, again.

“It makes my butt look bigger than it is.” You comment, Miguel doesn't know how respond to that so he chooses to stay quiet. “How come it took such little time to make?” You ask, turning your body around to look at the man, he looks down at her. His stare is almost intimidating, but attractive. “With the tech we have provided, all we need is your exact body measurements and preferred colors. The machine makes it to your exact size, it even comes with special accommodations.” He informs, his words sounded so professional it could be mistaken for a advertisement. Your ears perk up as a way to show that you're listening, he continues.

“The fabric makes it easier to move your body, and helps when you're moving is restricted. The wrist of the sleeves come with built in webs, if you look at the black bracelets, you press that button and-- NO!” He begins to explain, but being cut off by the your curious thoughts as they press the button. The thick webbed material stick to the wall before you, You gasps before you let go of the buttons causing your webs to extend back in. Pulling you against the wall as you bang your head.

“Damn.” You groan as you slides down the wall, Miguel shakes his head in disappointment as he helps you up before cutting the webs still stuck to the wall, off. “My head hurts.” You reply as you stand back up, with stability “I would think so.”

“When does-” All of the sudden, your whole body feels like its being pinched at every inch and your body begins to twitch violently. “The hell!” You scream as you fall to your knees, Miguel sighs as he pulls a wristband out of his suit pocket “My bad, here's your 24 hour watch. Remind me tomorrow to give you another one.” His apology is rather weak as you snatch it from his rough hand before putting it on

“You're not in your respected dimension, without protection your body is going to try to glitch its self back home. This just temporarily ignores that response.” Miguel explains, you leap up before looking at the wrist band, “Is there a way to permanently stop that reaction?” You question as he nods his head, looking down at his wrist watch, which attracts your attention.

“This watch permanently stops that reaction, unless you take it off. it also comes with built in controls like-” He begins to rant as you cut him off, again. “Can I have one?” He groans at the girls constant questions before answering, once again. “What makes you think I'll give a trainee a watch?” He sighs looking at you, your doe eyes wonder. You notices Miguel walking out of the dressing room, most likely annoyed. So you quickly grab her dress and put on your heels as she walks out too. Though you are wearing heals, you still stood rather short against Miguel.

“Well how am I going to get back home? I cant do it without a watch.” You provided a rather reasonable answer, the man smiles to himself which brings the girl into a state of confusion, she continues walking along him. Not knowing where she's going, but trusting the man enough to lead you “Yeah, about that.. as a trainee you'll probably stay her for one week, at max two weeks if you absolutely suck.” He explains, your eyebrows burrow in furry, being lied to isn't something you take lightly. Bystanders watch as they see a new spider women, whisper and gossip spread as you two did walk out of the wardrobe room together.

“What the hell do you mean! You told me I could go back home whenever.” You argue, the man shushes you, telling you to keep quiet as you are causing quite a scene aready. “A week won't hurt, muñeca. Two weeks might though.” He dismisses, you abides to his orders as there is quite a few people looking at you both right now.

“Go get some rest in the sleephub, I’ll give you an official tour tomorrow.”

“I don't even know where it is!” “You can find it, I believe in you.” Miguel gives you a fake flashy smile, before patting your shoulder and walking off without you.

You ended up needed the two weeks of training, and Miguel often makes fun of you about it to this day. You weren’t the most flexible when it came to web swinging but you definitely did know how to dodge people and objects that went flying your way.

Even since you appeared in the Spider society people could not ever end the talk about you. You were known as a sweetheart there, everyone and I mean everyone liked you. Though, there were always some people who thought your kindness was projected as annoying, but you never let it get to you.

People everywhere addressed you as sugar, which you thought was really corny. You don’t cringe at it though, because that’s how people perceived you as, and it’s definitely better than being called worse.

Even though you were known as Sugar among the spider society Miguel had his own nickname for a girl like yourself. ‘Muñeca’ which means doll in Spanish, you never understood it at first until Jess told you it’s because he thinks your prissy and spoiled, and a typical girl who thinks ‘’my way or no way’ is the standard.

And maybe you do! But that should be excepted widely among people.

The longer you stayed though, the more people began to tease you about Miguel. Sometimes they’d call you ‘Mrs. O’Hara’ and if you were being honest, you definitely didn’t mind it. Through the months you developed a small, tiny tiny crush on what you would call your boss. How could you not! He was most definitely bigger than you in size, he was controlling, and he was hot. Just how you liked your men.

As much as you thought about him, you knew he definitely didn’t feel the same. He only saw your presence as a burden in your eyes. He’d seem agitated or annoyed when he was around you.

A few months into you being part of the Spider society you fucked up a expedition he went on one day, different types of species were glitching into different parts of the spider verse and you were on duty with them to bring them back home. But, you ended letting one severely injuring you, hauling the expedition, It wasn’t your fault though! That thing caught you off guard.

Instead of Miguel assisting to your needs once you guys got back to the office, he yelled at you. Calling you careless, and voicing his annoyance. You threw that sweetness your perceived out the window. You snapped at Miguel for his lack of care, and told him it wasn’t even your fault. Basically, it was a screaming match that echoed off his office walls. Everything went blurry to you after he lost it, more or less snapped. He lifted you by your suits collar before tossing you off the console platform, injuring you worse than you already were.

A ‘ get away from me.’ would’ve been way more deserving.

He never apologized for that day, he just went along the following days like it never a happened. He noticed though that you were definitely trying to distance yourself. Your were still his assistant, though. So it was rather hard to just avoid him, or respect his privacy if you always had to cater to his needs.

Even after that though, you notice that the crush you denied having on that man only grew stronger. You definitely did not like the verbal and almost physical abusive side of him, but apart of yourself choose to avoid that thought of him. Only perceiving him the way you wanted to.

You don’t know why you excepted the job as his assistant, if it was because you were blinded by your crush on the man, or because you were bored and Miguel said you’d be able to go on missions along him with this job. But with a smile on your face you proudly excepted that job, and that day forward you were never spotted without him.

#spider punk #atsv fic #fluff #light angst #atsv smut #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel ohara smut #spider man #marvel #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x y/n #miles morales #spiderman: across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #oscar isaac #fanfic

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starry-teacup · 1 month

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(about your thing with relating to shifty)

im more upset that she uses the vessels against LQ while also dismissing them as important viewpoints and perspectives. in my eyes she is just cherrypicking the parts of those lives that she finds meaningful while ignoring how they were real people that had fears and lives.

and yeah a little bit of taking them from their happy endings to be combined into something they never asked for.. she says they are gifts from lq but its not like he ever chose to give them to her.

(i know you said youre okay to debate but im honestly Terrible at it and i just wanted to share my view because i do have my reasons for preferring the princess(es) over shifty)

Ok. Sorry it took me a day to respond. I’ve been putting my thoughts together on this before i write back

a) not gonna argue there. shifty is manipulative and uses the experiences that she's had with us to try to convince, guiltrip, strong-arm, or really use any form of persuasion to get us to leave with her.

HOWEVER. I do not think that she as a whole ignores that they were real people that had fears and lives. Vessels, hearts, eulogies- shifty speaks to us of the identity of each and every princess as she cradles them in her embrace. She is not ignoring 'their' experiences because they are hers as well, because each and every one of those princesses is her, even if they functioned independently for a time. She does ask the Long Quiet to ignore these, but I don't view this as casting aside the aspects of herself less interesting or useful to her, but trying to convince the Long Quiet to look away from these contradictions, and to stay focused on the more compelling cases for escaping together.

So yes. she's a bit of a sophist. but she doesn't ignore the princesses, just ask the long quiet to

b) i mean… i have a lot of thoughts on this. They were always a part of her, they always were her, they just didn’t know it yet. I think all of them were searching for her, they just didn’t know that’s what it was they were searching for. The most aware of this is the spectre- she senses the longing within her, and realizes that she can’t quite explain what it is or why, just that she needs to be somewhere, rather than try to label it as something else, like the other princesses do. At their core, though, all of the princesses know that they need something, and that the slayer is the gateway to it.

Also…happy ending??? I know the game implies that they might have almost gotten this before being taken away, but let’s think about this for a second. There is no way out of that construct. There are only a hundred feet or so of woods and the cabin. What happy ending awaited them? The player and the princess don’t realize it at the time, but they’re not actually in the real world. They can’t reach the real world. They are trapped there until either a reset happens or they starve or kill each other or something along those lines. None of the princesses can actually escape without reuniting with shifty and rejoining the world. They’re just as trapped in the woods as they are in the cabin. If anything, shifty was actually rescuing them.

#If this seemed mean or angry or discounting your opinion I’m sorry #I didn’t mean it that way #I am enjoying this #En garde and all that #Verbal sparring is how i show affection #Stp #slay the princess #the shifting mound

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jaidens · 10 months

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Hey, I Knew l'd Run Into You Somewhere It's Been A While, Didn't Mean To Stare

pairing [s] : spencer reid x reader

a/n [s] : requests are open.

Your field in Los Angeles, California was needed in Quantico, Virginia. It wasn't extremely typical, but whenever different parts of the FBI calls, you go. The plane ride was relaxing as you covered all sides of the case with your team and stayed on call with the Technical Analyst, Penelope Garcia. You were reading through Pride & Prejudice for the fourth time, as your team counted. Your team member Angela sits down, crossing one of her legs over the other.

“You seem occupied. Something happened?” Angela asks quietly, raising her eyebrow and clasping her fingers together. You look at her and nod, picking at the skin around your fingernails. “Yeah, this case just gets to me. No matter how long I've been in the field, it'll always scratch me the wrong way.” The case made everyone feel weird. The case included children and a series of kidnapping only taking Mother's and their young sons.

“Are you sure it's just that? I've known you for ten years. I know how you get when a case hurts and when something else is happening.” Angela calls you out and, painfully, she is one-hundred percent correct. “Yeah, you caught me. Just, I used to know someone who used to be my absolute best friend, and he moved to Quantico the last time I checked.” Angela opens her mouth to show her understanding and surprise about the situation.

“Well, let's remember, we have to keep our heads on the case. It's important that we find the leads instead of pulling other ropes to lead other situations.” Angela taps your hand and walks away, you smile at her softly before you go back to Jane Austen’s writing. Eventually, you fall asleep with your book laid against your chest.

You wake up at the sound of your ears popping and the plane landing against the Virginia airport grounds. You stand up and gather your things, picking up the bag you were gifted for your twelfth birthday, a leather satchel with clasps. It was from Spencer after you mentioned how you thought his satchel was cute.

Spencer is sitting across from you on the playground, reading through the science book you were given today by Mrs. Handerburry for seventh-grade science. Spencer was in eighth-grade but was only a month older than you. “This is what you have to read for Genetics. Did you know that humans are more than 99% identical in our genetic makeup? The one percent is still being researched, but it's said that it holds cures for diseases.”

You smile at Spencer, the lanky, finally hitting puberty with his hair behind his ears and thick glasses on his nose as he excitedly explains genetics to you. He's been your best friend since forever, with his awkwardness and long bones. People picked on you surely for being friends with him, or even relating yourself to him, but you didn't care. “Oh wow. Maybe someone in this world has the cure for everything, like something magical.”

Spencer laughs at you but continues explaining the theory of Genetics and giving you fun facts during it. However, as much as you try and understand him, you're staring at him and he makes your belly feel like there's butterflies. Like how it feels before the first day of school and staring at the double doors to walk in. He stops for a second, taking a moment to breathe, and you lean in and kiss his lips before pulling away.

Spencer is a blushing flustered mess as you scramble out some words to explain why you did that. “I don't even know why I—” Spencer kisses you again, a little longer than last time but he quickly pulls away. “It’s okay.” Spencer tells you and that's all you need before you lay your head on his shoulder and let him read out the boring science book, in which, you were definitely not listening to.

You're pulled out of the memory whenever one of the security guards is taking your stuff and letting you walk into the Quantico headquarters. It's much nicer than yours, with things actually furnaced off. Angela takes your arm and shows you the way around to the meeting room. You take a breath in and walk into the room, recognizing the Technical Analyst and SSA Aaron Hotchner from an old case you ran by with him.

He's introducing your team to his team and you're staring at the screen at the pictures from the incidents. “— And finally, this is Agent L/N, an expert in the children's abduction cases.” Penelope shakes your hand and gives you a huge smile and you smile back at her before she goes to the screen to explain more of the case. You stand behind the table and listen intently to Miss. Garcia. “Are the children getting abducted before or after the Mother's? Maybe our unsub wants to torture the mothers before. Losing children can be extremely heartbreaking for the mothers, giving the unsub to tell her to ‘come to save her child’.

“It wouldn't explain the covering of the bodies with baby blankets. It shows remorse.” Angela says to everyone, ending with nods and other people agreeing. “Well, we'll figure it out. Wheels up in 30.” Agent Hotchner says and walks out of the room. You're talking with Angela gently about a different topic, while you sip on a coffee. “I think we should go ahead and get ready. We have 25 minutes until we have to leave.. do you have your stuff? Your suitcase and bag?” You nod at her and follow her out of the room.

The plane is getting ready, and it is much larger than any jet the FBI had provided for you. You step onto the steps, walking up and Angela follows behind. You stare back at the seats and see an empty one and you walk towards and sit down, setting your stuff to the side of you and pulling out Pride & Prejudice and immediately stuck your nose in it.

You see a mop of brown hair above your book, staring at you. You pull the book down, and you recognize his face immediately. “Spencer..?” His name falls from your lips like a prayer and you smile widely. He sits down as he grips onto his leather satchel, the same one that matches yours. You can see the patch still sewed into one of the straps that you did in tenth grade.

“Y/N, you know I'm leaving tomorrow.” Spencer sighs as he lays in bed next to you. You're in tenth grade and you've grown up since that day in seventh, the day you kissed him. Your face is different and your eyes have grown up as well as Spencer stares into them. “Give me your bag.” You command quietly as you wipe the tears from your eyes, and you pull out your sewing kit from your drawer. You had bought a patch off the Internet, it was a picture of you and Spencer on it.

You pull out the needle and thread and begin weaving it through the fabric and sewing it on. “Oh.. it's our picture.” The ‘our’ makes you smile and you look up at him. “Yeah, I think it'll remind you of me when you get big one day. When you're up on the board with Einstein and Tesla.” Spencer laughs and sits his head on your shoulder. He's watching you sew and telling you to be careful to not poke yourself.

Spencer eventually falls asleep and is gently snoring against you, his head stuck between your head and your shoulder. “Spence— hey Spence, c'mon wake up.” You giggle when he wakes up with a small shout and a sleepy smile. “I’m awake, I'm awake.” You hand him his bag, the patch sewed on and a smile on your face. Spencer is in love— and the person he's in love with is leaving until he's done with his PHD and his Doctorate, so years.

He takes his bag with a big smile on his face, but the tears welling in his eyes tell you a different story. “We’ll find each other. We always do, Smart boy.”

“I knew I'd find you. I tried to call, but nothing was working.” Spencer tells you shaking his head. You smile at him and scoot over to be right next to him. “I got a new phone, which also means a new number. Welcome to the new age.” You laughed with Spencer as you stared into his eyes again. Those butterflies you felt in seventh-grade suddenly came out of their cocoon and were flying around once more.

“I missed you, a lot. You're working in the child abduction unit now? That's pretty cool.” Spencer stares into your eyes, and the nostalgia sits inside of them. “I missed you too, and the unit had been missing someone I had a degree in and studied, so I took it.” Spencer lets out that smile that can make anyone smile, where his top teeth are showing proudly.

“You grew up, huh? You definitely still got that boyish look I love.” You teased and his cheeks turned a shade of crimson. “And your crazy hair.” You add and he laughs. You can't help but hug him in your arms, and that spark you felt so many years ago lights once more. “God, I missed you.” Is all you can let out as he practically lies against you with his head in your shoulder.

Spencer is in a blue, 80s styled suit and you have your prom dress styled in the 80s fashion as well. He was allowed to go to prom, even if he was 15 years old in Senior Year. “Bet we look like fools.” You say during the slow dance, only swaying gently to the Frank Sinatra that fills the gymnasium. He's smiling at you with his eyes staring into yours. “Definitely, totally. Look at your hair, you look like Farrah Fawcett.” Spencer teases back at you and you lay your head against his chest. Spencer had grown to 6'1, towering over most other people.

You're laying against his chest as you listen to Spencer's heartbeat. “I always loved Frank Sinatra. My mom bought me a walkman when I was five and I listened to Watertown until the tape broke.” You laugh gently at the thought, and you're singing along to the jazz until it ends. The DJ starts yelling about ‘getting the party started!’.

“Do you wanna sneak out with me?” Spencer asked with a mischievous smirk on his face and you nodded at him and he pulled you through the crowd. “Always!”

You see the stares from you and Spencer’s team as you laugh with him. He tells his dumb science and math jokes and you laugh at him as you tell him old stories from your younger years. A tall, built man walks up to you and Spencer and flashes a smile at you. “Hey Pretty Boy, find yourself a girlfriend?” He sits down and shakes Spencer's shoulders and shakes out his moppy hair.

“Y/N, this is Agent Derek Morgan. Derek this is Y/N, my best friend since childhood.” Spencer introduces and you shake Derek's hand and flash your own smile. “How long have you known Spencer?” Morgans asks, sitting down in the seat next to yours and Spencer's. “Twenty years now? We met whenever we were ten years old.” Derek opens his mouth in surprise, and slaps his hand on Spencer's shoulders again.

“We’ll talk later L/N.” Derek tells you, pointing his finger at you before walking away. Spencer circles next to his ear and points at Derek, showing that he thinks he's crazy for acting like it. You laugh once more and hold his hand in yours. “I can't believe you're so, up on the board with Einstein now and Tesla.” Spencer nods. “Its the 180 iQ and my three PhDs probably.”

Now, you're the one surprised. “Three?” He nods and you sit up. “That’s amazing, Spencer. I knew you'd get far, ever since middle school when you read through my science book; four times.” He smiles and you laugh at his weird look in his eyes. “I’m tired and I'm gonna sleep until we get there.” You tell him and lean back on the plush, beige seats.

Spencer's hand goes to your calf, running his fingers up and down or pretending to run down your bent leg. It's peaceful and calm, and it's everything he's missed. Derek wiggles his eyebrows at him and Spencer sticks out his tongue childishly. He would ask you about what he was thinking eventually in the hotel room, and he was praying for the answer he wanted. For you to take him back, like you did in his younger years.

#spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x plus size reader #spencer reid criminal minds

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bubblesxo · 2 months

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i dont know if you will see this but i am a big fan of your g!bruce meets the batfam!!!! I literally have tumblr just for this series (and now that I’ve tried it im beginning to love it ngl) . Annyywaayy ive just read the new chapter and it’s so good!?? Like i am really excited for the next chapter!!!

Oh and I haven’t watched gotham ( im planning too ) but i sometimes mix the twins????? Like your explanations are good dont get me wrong but yk when your reading and you need to check which ones which? Yeah … and like i want to fix that idk how .do i just like memorize the twins personalitys??

also in this au is theres 2 jokers??????? I saw you once mention Jerome(?) being revived or something

ps .im that great at English sorry .

oh wow wow wow thank you so so much!! i'm really glad that you're enjoying my story so much! it really means a lot to me. <33 i think your english is good! but if you need/want me to clarify anything i say here, just let me know and i'll try to rephrase it for you!

okay, so in the Gotham tv show (this has spoilers for all 5 seasons, so read on if you're okay with that) the way that they approached writing the joker was actually really up in the air in the beginning. this is because they didn't have the rights to use the name "joker," and so fox (the company that made the show) planned on making a bunch of smaller characters in the show as a kind of easter egg as people who could be the joker or who resemble him in some way.

this changed when cameron monaghan (the actor for both jerome and jeremiah) guest starred in s1e16 "the blind fortune teller." in it, the character of jerome is introduced as a 17/18 year old boy who travels with the circus with his mother, who is a snake dancer. he is meant to be one of the aforementioned joker-like characters in the show and wasn't actually supposed to be included again after that episode, if i am not mistaken.

however, the viewers LOVED his performance and jerome came back in season two as a member of the maniax, a group of arkham inmates who were broken out of the asylum. i won't go too into detail about the actual plot, but in seasons two, three, and four, jerome shows up in at least a few different episodes with very memorable storylines each time.

it isn't until season four of the show that jeremiah is even revealed at all! jeremiah and jerome are identical twin brothers, however, jeremiah has been in hiding for years under the fake name "xander wilde" in an attempt to escape jerome, who wants to get revenge on him for lying to their mother about what he (jerome) did when they were children. basically, jeremiah lied to their mother (lila, who jerome is revealed to have killed in 1x16) that jerome tried to kill him, causing jeremiah to be sent away and be adopted by rich people and get to go to a well-funded private school where he could live out his best life as a child prodigy (which was jeremiah's end goal to this), whereas jerome was left behind in the circus that they lived at (haly's circus, the same one that dick grayson later was raised in before being adopted by bruce). during this time, jerome was horrifically abused by his mother, his uncle, and his mother's many romantic partners. this eventually caused him to crack, which creates the character we see in the show.

here's an easy way to remember the difference in their personalities:

in the standard american deck of cards, there are two jokers: one that is black and white and one that is in color. in this analogy, jeremiah is the black and white joker and jerome is the one in color.

this is jerome:

he's got a *very* boisterous personality. he's outgoing and charismatic and, of course, severely messed up in the head. he *enjoys* the pain he causes people and does it with little to no reservations. he thinks things through less thoroughly than jeremiah but jerome always has a plan and is actually quite smart. i couldn't do him the disservice of calling him the dumb twin, despite some points about jeremiah that i'll get back to later.

anyway, jerome has a grand plan for all of gotham: he believes that, fundamentally, everyone in the world is like him and is also at least a bit crazy inside. he wants everyone to tap into their inner selves and let themselves run free / go crazy. he successfully ensnares huge hoards of gothamites with his persuasive way of speaking and interesting flare to his words. he amasses a large cult following, all of whom are very similar to him in the sense that they all demonstrate similar signs of instability.

here's some more gifs of him.

jerome kind of invented the iconic "HAHAHA" signature joker laugh in the gotham universe, even though he isn't the one who goes on to become "mr. j" (gotham's version of the joker) in the end (that's jeremiah, though i have a lot to say about that).

jerome's always smiling, a genuinely creepy smile that throws people off at first but can be really scary once you know what you're looking at. he single handedly turns gotham into a madhouse on multiple occasions and is the one who basically spread the "crazy" to the general population (for short: genpop).

he's a classic cult leader in the sense that he can mesmerize a whole room with his magnetic presence but also will ruthlessly cut down any of his followers if they so much as upset him (or even if they're just being annoying or could have a greater purpose, like when he stabbed a follower in the gut to take their blood to draw a frowney-face on bruce).

that reminds me, another important thing to know about jerome is that he has an iconic stapled-on face! this is because he died once (in season two, though he came back to life for season three onwards) and one of his followers tried to revive him using some insider medical knowledge from doctor hugo strange (who is just... a whole thing. ew.). he thinks that he failed at doing this and steals jerome's face so that he can wear it on television in an attempt to control jerome's followers (spoiler: this doesn't work).

however, it turns out that jerome *was* revived from this, and he's pretty upset that some dude stole his face! so he uses a staple gun to re-attach it after he gets it back (and kills the guy who did it). his face is later punched off by jim gordon but reattached more properly during his time at arkham afterward (the carnival scene happened in season 3 and jerome came back with a kind-of healed face in season 4).

here's some gifs with jerome's messed up face!

jerome is the colorful joker because he's very much expressive. he lets out every single emotion he feels---unless he's trying to deceive someone, at which point he is a phenomenal liar. (in season 1 when we are first introduced to him, he almost successfully gets away with the murder of his own mother.)

jerome is funny and laughs a lot and is *loud.* he's also absolutely insane and incredibly cruel, as well as impulsive, but he's able to curb his instincts if he feels like he can pull off a big plan.

jerome is a showman by nature. he's a product of the circus and it *shows.* everything he does is like an act, something that is acknowledged by many people in the show.

he's a funky lil dude. totally crazy, but kind of adorable at times.

he's also SEVERELY traumatized from his horrible past and has huge trust issues.

so, yeah. jerome is colors! remember that.

unfortunately, pookie died in season 4 and doesn't seem to have been revived this time </3

now, onto his twin brother jeremiah!

jeremiah is, at least at first, presented to be the complete opposite of jerome. he's calm, collected, and seemingly sane---at least at first. bruce trusts him at first and he even befriends him for a period of time before jeremiah betrays him.

jeremiah is a genius engineer, and, when looking into his past, we can assume that he was a child prodigy. he worked with thomas wayne before he died and designed the wayne plaza building under the aforementioned alias "xander wilde." he also locked himself in an underground maze for ~6 years (i believe?) and never went outside, instead sending his proxy (ecco) out to act in his place during business transactions.

as seen here, jeremiah seems to be the complete opposite of showboat jerome:

when we first meet jeremiah, we are told that he is totally sane, but we can later see that this is not the complete truth.

i'll use jeremiah's project as a metaphor for this. jeremiah was building a set of generators which could make energy harvesting and usage much less expensive and much more bio-friendly (if i remember correctly). bruce promised to fund his project and jeremiah accepts his offer quickly.

after jerome dies in season 4 after kidnapping bruce and jeremiah, he left behind a concoction of chemicals that seemingly make jeremiah go insane. this is a play on joker toxin / joker venom from the greater dc universe.

however, after jeremiah reveals his new self

he says that the spray did not actually change who he actually is, but just gave him an altered appearance. there are a lot of fan theories about this, but the general consensus is that the spray likely lowered his inhibitions, which gave him the kick needed to reveal his true self.

even his complexion resembles the joker he corresponds with: black and white. he is the black and white joker because he isn't as expressive, is way more calculated, and is more cruel and less happy. even his skin is paper white.

here's some gifs of what he looks like after those "slight cosmetic changes" :

that looks a lot more like the joker we know and love today, right? bleach-pale skin, red painted lips, green hair. he's instantly recognizable as the stereotypical joker now.

remember when i mentioned the generators? let's go back to them. the entire time that the generators have been around, they've also been perfectly functional as powerful bombs. their ability to be used as bombs does not undermine the fact that they can also be used as generators, and both of these things were true at the same time *for the entire time they have existed.*

it is in this way that jeremiah's paradoxical nature has always existed. jeremiah is crafty, cunning, and absolutely vicious. he has no care or concern for human life in general and will sacrifice most people in his life if it means that he will get what he wants in the end.

this is shown both before and after the joker toxin in how he lied about jerome when they were children (which caused jerome to be heavily abused) and in how jeremiah willingly killed one of his most devoted and beloved followers, who was being ransomed, just because someone put him on hold and it was personally easier for him to just kill him than sit on hold on the phone for a while. (he also has a vicious streak, though, because he immediately moved the demolition of the bombs up to immediately once he was out of the blast zone because those people inconvenienced him.)

something that's important to realize about jeremiah is that he has an issue with being called crazy. jerome does, too, but he eventually comes to accept the term, almost like he's reclaiming it, but jeremiah is *violently* against it. that's one of the things that set him off in the previously mentioned interaction.

both jeremiah and jerome are obsessed with bruce, though in different ways. jeremiah sees bruce first as his best friend and later as the "brother [he] could never have, that jerome could never be." jerome just sees bruce as a particularly entertaining and interesting kid who he enjoyed tormenting who he would eventually kill.

anyway, despite jeremiah being crazy (or, depending on who you ask, just less inhibited) he is still crazy smart and calculating. he thinks through everything before he does it and his master plans seem like they go on forever with 10000 parts to them and backups and contingencies galore.

the only time that jeremiah ever really seems to break out of this is when he's fighting with bruce. while he still does have a greater point to make or something he's trying to accomplish, he thinks through things less with him and shows his impulsive and rash side a bit more, which is interesting because jerome showed his thoughtful and contemplative side when faced with the obstacle that is bruce thomas wayne. i love parallels and contrasts, especially in these two characters! i just love writing about twins, they're always so interesting.

some important things about their relationship to one another:

even though jerome kidnapped jeremiah and seemingly strapped a bomb to his neck (after breaking into his house and telling him that he would kill him), jerome doesn't seem to actually want jeremiah to die. instead, as we later find out, he wants jeremiah to unleash his true self and carry on his legacy of chaos and cruelty in gotham for him after his death. this is why he left behind the laughing gas for him.

(the fact that jerome thought to do all of that shows that he really was a smart character and that he truly did understand the world around him well. he knew exactly what would happen in the event of his death, i.e. bruce offering to fund jeremiah's work and jeremiah accepting, as is shown when jerome has the joker venom in a present box which claims to be sent from wayne enterprises.)

jeremiah *hates* to be compared to jerome in any way, as he thinks of himself as "the face of true sanity." he actually has an entire notebook full of jerome's ideas, which he says he will outdo and perfect, thus defeating his brother in the end, which i don't know if i agree with, but whatever.

i think that it's because of the reputation that jerome got at the circus. jeremiah wanted people to think of him as better than jerome and as the perfect child, which he succeeded at. to him, jerome is synonymous with crazy, which i've already mentioned that he hates to be called.

okay, just one more part to talk about. the infamous, much anticipated Mr. J!!!

in the series finale, it is revealed that jeremiah, after falling into a vat of acid, is horribly disfigured and pretends to be in a vegetative state for the whole ten years that bruce is on his quest to improve himself before becoming batman. he does this as a way of waiting for bruce to come back to gotham so he can continue to be obsessed with him.

however, though this is jeremiah, it seems that he has actually gone through immense mental trauma sometime during this time (perhaps during his fall into a vat of chemicals), which has caused him to sort of lose his sense of self. he once says that there was "another me" [another him] once, which is, of course, referring to jerome. this implies that jeremiah sees jerome as an extension of himself, almost, and almost makes it seem as if mr. j is a whole different entity of his own.

hopefully this clears everything up a bit for you!! let me know if you have any questions or want to know anything specific about the characters and i will be glad to oblige!

thank you once again for being so kind as to leave this ask!! it really made my day. thank you for enjoying my fic, i hope it continues to live up to expectations. i have a lot of fun things planned (and i am very happy that you decided to look into these characters more, because they are actually extremely important to the plot as we get more into the actual story!). <33

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punkitt-is-here · 1 year

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i know this sounds mean but i'm genuinely confused and curious so please at the very least hear me out

is it just me or are you either ignoring/in

getting angry with people who disagree with you about the bi-lesbian discourse (which i agree is stupid), even those who are trying to be respectful and understand your pov, while on the other hand when people agree with you you give them your full attention

like yeah i get it, some of the people in this discourse are just being jerks, but some people just seem to genuinely be trying to see your side

i just don't get it, why can't people try and like listen to both sides? we're all part of the same community

hey check this out

i get like a zillion of these every minute i want to answer em all but i am but one silly little internet person

the reason im angry is because I had several thousand people very suddenly start calling me a horrible person and telling me to kill myself. ive put out very detailed writings that get my point across clearly and tried to be as respectful as possible but when people immediately come at you with a sense of hostility and anger for not wanting to force people to stop using a label that makes them happy and comfortable you can only give them the time of day and the benefit of the doubt for so long. I know all the talking points, i tried understanding why people hated bi/pan lesbians for so long because I was worried i wasn't getting something, but the truth of the matter is i consumed every single angle of this stupid discussion and came out the other end still deciding that it doesn't fucking matter and the happiness of someone finding the words to describe themselves overpowers any person worried that somebody's description of themselves is erasing an identity or muddying the waters in any way. it just doesnt matter!!! it just dont!! there's old ass men that have been around longer than the stone age trying to actively genocide all queer people and I am simple a 20-something with rent to pay and a job to work and people to love. we have bigger fish to fry than listening to every single talking point of a bunch of people who can't grasp that queer people, surprise surprise, don't always fit into neat little boxes and definitely don't want to be put back in them again.

so please forgive me for only responding primarily to those who have a modicum of empathy and understanding and joy when I decide to peak into my public mailbox

#my posts #asks #anon #queer discourse #sorry folks this has just been weighing on me all day uhg

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prettyboykatsuki · 4 months

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would you be comfortable sharing your bg3 ocs with us? i LOVE hearing and seeing other peoples ocs so much it inspires me to make them too

u always write reader personalities so amazing so ik ur ocs are just as good <3

WAH. YES. THANK U FOR ASKING. a lot of my ocs start out as fun self-inserts and then become... Something else. for bg3 in particular i normally play as my insert so they have the same face HEKJSDKJ. but they are ocs and they look diff in my brain i just dont care to change the face

oh my good GOD this is so long im so sorry. i guess this is my intro post for them now.thank u for asking me.. i love you... humbly presenting my little guys

CW FOR IMPLICATIONS OF INCEST (?) sort of in nyx's story. its complicated!! other than that just canon typical angst + drug use.

i have two main charas i consider more oc than insert. THE FIRST ONE IS MY BELOVED DARLING GIRLTHING SOULIKHA

goes by soul in camp, mid/late twenties, she/they pronoun haver, true neutral alignment, istj + 5w4

motifs ; black oleander, darkness and shadow, bones but not blood / decay, teals and purples and blues.

close with marisol, lae'zel and wyll. thinks astarion is a little sad and gets annoyed at mystra trying to demand death of gale.

she is a cleric of kelemvor and sacrificial survivor of a myrkul death cult. she escaped nearly dying at the age of 7 bc kelemvor saved her from near death.

she is not from baldurs gate!! she is from the outskirts of omorath but after escaping she lives on the streets.

the second time kelemvor comes to get her (nearly died in an alley) she becomes a cleric and returns to the city. joins the tower of skulls in omorath and does most of her work taking care of the diseased and guiding people in the fugue plane.

a Doomguide and part of a doom clergy.

she is originally darker skinned / tan but turns grey using her powers. when she blushes she becomes her original color lol

she ends up closer to baldurs gate on pilgrimage. she meets marisol (lambs oc) her best friend there.

she is a cleric of kelemvor, the god or judge of death. she tends to wear like a plague doctor sort of uniform and is very attached to a necklace she has that she prays over!! in general she prefers to be covered because she normally is response for helping the diseased as well as the deceased.

always wearing gloves for the same reason ^ special gloves that she has with her even after the kidnapping on the ship.

her personality is very blunt 😭and straightforward but never mean. she is just super direct and a little clueless about social cues... VERY HONEST LOL.

her main story arc is around her parents! like i mentioned she is a cleric of kelemvor but she spent her childhood in a death cult. in act one she hears rumor of a tiefling couple who worshipped myrkul being seen kidnapped on the towers to moonrise. in act two, her major scene, you have the choice on whether or not to kill or rescue her parents.

soulikha as a character puts her duty as a cleric above all else, even herself. she never expresses her feelings, never complains, just does as she believes is of expected to her. it gives her identity. up until this point, it's very rare to see her break down. this is the first scene where she makes a decision for herself

she also believes part of her job is assuring the people suffering die with the dignity and honor they deserve. part of this is because of her upbringing.

she also believes admantly in people dying when they are supposed to. as a cleric of kelemvor with particular favor of her god, she can hear whispers and regrets of death. the shadowfell lands are hard on her.

her main romance partner is karlach

her main romance with karlach has to do with touch and intimacy.

soulikha normally has her face covered and her body so if she were an origin and romance companion chara they'd be surrounding them but in her story she is dating karlach

karlach is soulikhas first love. they are tragic to me. soulikha is constantly telling karlach it's not her time and they often talk about death. she has a line to karlach:

"i will be there. when your soul burns brightest in the fugue plane, i will lead you. till the end of your life and in mine. my hand will find you. you will know its me."

she is shorter than karlach a bit. their whole romance is soulikha saying over and over that she knows karlach is bound to die, and comforting her through that.

but after the actual end of the game, soulikha cries for the very first time and begs karlach to live. it's the first time she ever says the words "i want you to live.) very heartbreaking

their ending is opening. ultimately soulikha wants to stay with karlach. they promise each other to live. the ending varies depending on other stuff but YEAH.

her bad ending is letting herself become myrkuls new chosen so karlach can have her heart back. fucking AWFUL ending gkdjsd theyre so sad.

OKAY. NEXT. IS MY OC NYX SORRY ABOUT THIS MOUTAIN OF TEXT.

this is nyx! no last name, he/him pronouns preferred, any fine. neutral evil allignment, late twenties. entp + 7w8

close with astarion + minthara. fond of jaehira. thinks wyll is fun and likes karlach. neutral to shadowheart and halsin.

nyx is not from baldurs gate either, explicitly from the city of calimshan, in manshaka. son of a common whore, born in a pleasure house.

tiefling with the blood graz'zt. this is relevant later. fdkjsdk.

learns music from the musicians in the pleasure house. naturally gifted. starts composing his own music at ten when one of this mothers regular customers gifts him a cli' lyre, enchanted with magic

has a complicated relationship with his mother. his mother is a prostitute but also very addicted to drugs. she wasn't motherly and often made advances on him when he grew up into puberty. his only family. when she was coming down the high, he would play her music to fall asleep.

practiced a lot on his own, other musicians taught him other instruments. very talented. most of his music and songs were about his one true love, roxana

roxana was another child of the house. they grew up together. she wasn't particularly talented but she was soft, kind, and beautiful. they both knew she would end up staying in the house, but nyx did try to protect her from customers when they were both underage.

roxana is full blooded human. she has a tattoo of roses down her spine that nyx dedicated one of his songs too and got matching trellis tattoos for. his most popular song.

his composition reached far and wide and he was offered many times to leave the pleasure house to perform. but he loved roxana and she often begged to say with him - so he never went. for her he'd do pretty much anything.

spent most of their lives together as lovers. first kiss at 13, lost their virginity to each other at 16/17, when they are in their early 20's nyx saves up to propose.

nyx is betrayed by roxana, though nyx by default does not care if Rrxana were to take lovers.

because of nyx’s upbringing and roxana’s work, all nyx had ever asked Roxana for was to keep no secrets between them

(growing up, roxana was naturally meek and often was in dangerous situations. Both because of this and because of his mothers commentary after she’d invited him for sex (“let’s keep this a secret between us,”). nyx had asked Roxana to never keep things from him, if she could.)

roxana ultimately chooses another man over nyx, one she’d kept a secret. she’d told nyx that she couldn’t be with him anymore. That she wanted more from life, and that she would go with her new lover to see greater sights.

“I loved her. Beautiful like a rosebed. I was a fool, of course. Only a fool forgets that the first rule to pick roses is dethorning them, lest they make you bleed.”

nyx sets off for college the same night. packs his belongings, says by to the pleasure house. his mother kisses on the cheek. he doesn't tell roxana about this

after that he commits to a life of debauchery at the college of swords. many flings and makes more music but never gets tied down despite peoples offers and efforts.

very charismatic in general and good at behaving in slimy and manipulative ways fhfksd. acts in self-interest.

very weak to soft and gentle women (hung up on his ex.... rip)

never ever mentions roxana by name even as an origin character. a lot of his story is about getting him to open up. he has a confrontation with his ex in act 3. his story is similar to astarion

in act one he hears rumor of a beautiful prostitute in the city who works the cities leaders and follows this. his main decision is meeting roxana again and deciding whether or not to forgive or save her

(you learn through the course of his story that roxana was never particularly good or honest to him, though it's not easy to figure out. the best ending to for him to save her but not take her back, the worst is dying for he)

his primary love interest is lae'zel !!

they have a silly and funny relationship at first. it starts as a sex thing but their tent is next to each other. lae'zel likes calling him a jester but loves his voice too.

he likes that she's very different from the women he dates. she's very harsh towards him but he also trusts she would never lie to him. he comforts her through the situation with vlaaktih and she in his story helps him realize that not everyone is out to betray him. he wants to love her and does.

he is SO affectionate towards her act three. she is constantly pissed she has romantic feelings for local emo clown

lae'zel having no propensity for manipulation and also being very honest is really refreshing for nyx. they have a minor age gap fdkfskjd

at the end of the story - nyx encourages lae'zel to travel and save their people. he makes a life for them in the city and writes hundreds of songs about her in her absence. they raise a gith child together

I HAVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS PAINFULLY LONG. SHOWS YOU THIS ANDRUNS AWAY. PLEASE ASK ME QUESITONS IF U LIKE I LOVE ANSWERING Q'S FOR THEM. THANK U

#return to sender #oc: nyx #oc: soulikha #incest mention #KIND OF ITS COMPLIATED!!! BUT SAFETYT

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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hi again 👋👋👋 anyway i would LOVE to hear any thoughts you might have about fake pep and his interactions with other characters if you're amenable to that! i love him and there is So Much going on there and you always have stellar hcs so id love to hear them!!

Ive been shying away from drawing/writing anything with fake peppino bc frankly ur right; there IS so much going on with him 😭 so much so that it almost feels impossible to settle on something concrete 😭 This is also bc I link Fake Peppi and Pizzahead together, which means I also have to work on characterizing that punk 😭😭😭 But I will still try to get my thoughts out

(OKAY THIS IS REM FROM THE FUTURE OR PAST OR SOMETHING AND IM HERE TO SAY THAT I RAMBLED SO FUCKING LONG THAT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE ACTUAL ASK OF THIS FUCKING ASK!!! I JUST TALKED ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND DIDNT WRITE A SINGLE INTERACTION. SO UM. THIS ASK IS NOW ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND ONLY FAKE PEPPI IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭 ILL GO MORE IN DEPTH W DYNAMICS N SUCH SOME DAY BUT NOT TODAY)

Fake Peppino is Not the first clone; hes one of the Last ones Pizzahead worked on. The ones you see in the war level are the closest, appearance wise, to Peppino, but they arent the brightest and will often behave like [insert test subject] but with Peppinos face on it. The emphasis on appearance first resulted in some physically identical, but otherwise, dull witted clones.

Fake Peppi was the first attempt at replicating Peppinos actual personality over appearance and it works moderately well, its just that. Hes a little funky lookin. Which is okay! Its the first attempt !! He’ll get more time to try again! They give Fake Peppi a little run down shop to manage (that he almost immediately converts into a pizzeria) while they work on perfecting the clones. But then Peppino actually storms the tower after being threatened w the Pizzeria Begone Beam, and hes tearing through portals so quickly that Pizzahead literally has No Time to try and work on these new clones. Fake Peppi is the First of this new experimental line of clones, and hes one of the Last. (Said bc i do intend on making my own little peppi clone someday heehee)

Fake Peppi passes as a pretty Normal creature. Hes a bit Tall but not absurdly above average. I drew him pretty goopy and lanky on my first (and only ) attempt at drawing him, but the more i think about it, the more I want him to just be a taller, slightly offputting Peppino. I like the idea someone had of Fake Peppi mimicking the stylized, cartoonish logo design of the pizzeria, so hes got a bit of a doofy lookin face. Its very round, with soft looking eyes and permanent blush on his cheeks. When hes trying to look Less Scary (bc he is a bit aware now that hes a little Off), you can see his mouth on his face like a Normal person. When hes relaxed and/or unfocused, it kind of just. Disappears. It makes his face look kind of like a little butt or a peach heehee

Fake Peppi acts pretty similarly to Real Peppino. Hes quick to anger, and quick to frighten. Hes a bit of a goof and he likes to entertain (which completely threw pizzahead off; hes like thats. Not right? Is it??). He has more or less the same mental capacity as Peppino, shares similar skills and hobbies, and enjoys the same kinds of food that Peppino does (with mild variation). Hes very relaxed and easygoing with a tendency to act a fool and be a little playful, which leads Pizzahead to believe that despite what hes personally seen (from stalking this poor man), Peppino is Also inherently a bit of a fool and a little playful and also capable of being relaxed and easygoing.

Fake Peppi is prone to the same kind of anxiety and panic attacks that Peppino has, only he does not have decades of experience with them to know how to manage it. So the time he spends with Pizzahead is Not the smoothest. The combination of Just Being Created and having Crippling Panic Attacks leaves him with an almost Blank Slate, memory wise, by the time hes left with the pizzeria. When Pizzahead visits Fake Peppi again to give him the lift key; hes basically a stranger to him :0

(Peppino tries to help with some grounding techniques for panic attacks, but since they Both default to self soothing stims, hes not that much help 😭)

Conversations are as smooth as they can be with his garbled speech; he can understand what hes being told, and he will write down what he Wants to say with pen and paper. Eventually, he ‘upgrades’ to a phone with proper text to speech, so he uses that quite often. I know the backwards speech is canon (or at the very least extremely popular) but its very hard for me to read and parse in my head, so i am deciding against that 😭

Hes hard to understand bc despite having a similar vocal pitch to Peppino (a bit high), it rubberbands in a way that makes it sound incredibly croakey and scratchy. The more excitable he is, the more incoherent he becomes. With (immense) effort, he can speak clearly, but its almost as difficult as someone trying to suppress their stutter; hes much more comfortable using his phone to talk. I can see him learning sign language at some point; Peppino does Not know sign language but he IS capable of learning, which means Fake Peppi is Also capable of learning.

Overall Fake Peppi is Peppino with enough variance to give him his own personality. Some of the things he does shines a bit of a light on Peppinos personality; its like, if Peppino DIDNT have to struggle with a failing business and crippling debt and being drafted into a fucking war, what kind of Peppino would you get? And as a surprise to Pizzahead, its a relatively sweet and goofy guy!! And if he took the time to interact with the Real Peppino instead of an idealized version of him (like pepperman and vigilante have started doing) then he would see that. Oh well.

#answered #chattin #fake peppino #long post #it was SO fucking long #i literally scrapped like 4 paragraphs this was so gargantuan #also #tibli i am so fucking sorry #i was like ‘interactions; got it!’#‘i guess i should share my thoughts on him so that the interactions make sense’#and then i wrote a fucking essay #and i would STILL have to write the interactions 😭😭😭#so i think i will just talk about him more to make up for it #i want to draw some stuff w them but im doing soooo much comm work to afford an upcoming trip #im going to see my sister :)! i already paid for the ticket but i wanna get these people their sketches #anyway it means i have no time to doodle #so these asks are really the only way i get to still engage w this silly game #so there will be a lot more chattin on this blog again heehee

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mae-i-scribble · 1 year

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I've recently read through all of fabiniku (my life as an ordinary guy who reincarnated as a girl or something like that for the english title) and it's just been such a fun and genuine time that made me so much more endeared to the series than I thought I was going to be going into this. And for me it touches on a very important part of representation and the argument that queer people will inherently tell queer stories better (spoiler alert i think this mentality is simplistic and unrealistic). Because full disclosure, yeah the author of fabiniku is not someone i assume is the best ally on the planet, and i dont even know if she's queer or not. Her author notes have some pretty :/// stuff in them about trans identity and the idea that being trans is a fetish or childish choice. However, there could also be translational errors messing up what exactly she means, and I can't exactly translate myself, so there is some doubt in that regard. But regardless of the author's opinions, none of that changes the very genuine and heartfelt story she is telling with Tachibana in fabiniku.

(putting the rest under a readmore bc its getting longer than i thought)

There's a reason fabiniku got its reputation as one of the queerest isekai's to ever isekai and that reputation is well deserved bc holy shit yeah these bitches gay and trans as hell. Fabiniku does something with its queer narrative that I personally really appreciate: it sidelines the queer themes. Now this may seem contradictory, but for me, I don't always want queer stories about being queer, I want the queer elements to be a part of the narrative without it being focused on them. And fabiniku absolutely delivers on this. It isn't the story of tachibana finding out he's trans and jinguuji finding out he's gay but also kinda technically bi now- it's a batshit insane isekai romcom about 2 best friends realizing they have feelings for each other. Of course, those queer elements are still very much there, but they're entrenched in the characters, not in the author saying "see this aspect of identity, i want to use these characters as a vehicle to tell a story about it." (Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just a difference in writing goals and how one goes about writing themes/stories)

Fabiniku was never trying to be anything profound or meaningful in terms of queer representation, its mostly a gag manga with some large overarching story beats, but the author's earnestness in portraying the romance and personal growth gives the series a real heart that 1)makes it enjoyable unlike some other comedy based isekai and 2) stops it from being offensive representation. Tachibana is a guy who finds himself becoming a girl one day without and warning, and his slow journey into realizing what exactly he wants in regards to his gender identity is never used as the butt of the joke or mocked. (I'm using he/him for tachibana bc literally as of a couple chapters ago we just got him admitting he may not want to go back to being a guy, he's still on the first steps of his trans journey). In the same vein Jinguuji's love of Tachibana is never truly treated as "only now bc tachibana is a girl, no way did jinguuji love him before nope nope." (yes the initial premise suggests this interpretation, but as the manga grows on it is increasingly clear that both these 2 loved each other before this isekai shenanigans began).

There's a lot more words in my head, but Im gonna wrap it up here. Fabiniku is hardly "perfect" representation, but it is telling a meaningful story with a lot of love put into it regardless. Blaming its mistakes on the author not being trans or gay while ignoring its strengths is useless nitpicking. I saw a post saying it would be a much funnier manga if a trans person wrote it, which is such an illogical point to make that I just had to go ????? at my screen for a minute. There's a lot to talk about with this story, and that's what you took away from it?? And im not saying there aren't criticisms to be made, I still think Jinguuji's arc should have been about him realizing that even if he didn't like women, it didn't change the fact that he was attracted to Tachibana- would have made for a more in character arc for him but again, the author was never intending for anything more than a romantic comedy manga, so I won't hold it against her too much.

Anyways everyone go watch or read fabiniku you won't regret it its so fucking good

#fabiniku #Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout #hinata tachibana #tsukasa jinguuji #i am totally normal about the media i consume i promise #you want to read my rambling about the queer aspects of this show so bad right right #genuinely i think the rep in this is so fucking good #judt because it isnt perfect doesnt mean it doesnt have value #it is also 3am when i write this so things arent exactly coherent

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notyouraryang0dd3ss · 30 days

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Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

#ask #anon #anti taylor swift #relationships #gaylors #taylor swift critical #anti swifties

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prettymindset111 · 11 months

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HI I LOVE YOU BTW. okay so i wish i came across your care for your 3d whilst manifesting posts earlier but at this stage i don’t want to do anything from the old story. i just don’t. like i don’t even know how i’ll react if i were to be assuming my life will change completely to my ideal life and yet go back to the course i hate (thank you anon i am in an identical situation so your ask helped) . i just assumed that since manifestation is INSTANT and the 3d is fake and not real, imagination is the only reality. then it doesn’t matter what i do in the 3d or if i neglect it.

but i understand your pov and how it could affect my mental health if i continue to live in my head and watch the 3d around me fail, denying all of it by claiming 4d is the only reality.

i’m in a similar situation as the hate the course anon and um i guess i should go back to the course because i can’t face my parents after wasting more than a year and now that there are only a few months left i should try my best. but if i step into the 3d now, all of it will crush me. i don’t know what to do. if i step into the 3d i don’t think i’ll be able to step back out. i hope im making a little sense at least. sorry and thank you sm for listening <3

hi angel <3 ~ 😽 i’m glad I could help you with that ask manifestation is instant ( when you change SELF it expresses instantly ) it does matter what you do in the 3D because it is your expression it’s like neglecting your creation . realistically speaking, you can’t become a “ master manifestor “ overnight after finding the law , the law requires understanding once you understand the law aka the power of your imagination & that imagination is the only reality the law becomes gery easy to practice . it’s more about fulfilling your imagination than getting it in the 3D . ofc you got into the law for changing your life in the 3D but it’s important to understand that it’s just an expression of your inner world ( imagination ) . being a student is something that requires alot of your time & energy & ofc satisfying your parents. “ but if I step into the 3D now , all of it will crush me “ you’re always gonna have to face your harvest , and ofc you’re always living in this world of senses so you already have your step in it … try your best angel. I want to quote a few things .

“ The Outer-Man sees the limitations and restrictions in the World of the Senses. The Outer-Man feels he is limited and confined to the ‘facts’ of life. The Outer-Man goes through life fully convinced that this World of the Senses is happening to him not from him. He uses only his five senses to move in this World. So naturally he feels like a victim and desires to control this world through the means of force, manipulation etc. The Outer-Man feels fear that life can throw at him things that he is not prepared for. Situations he does not want to encounter but since he feels powerless, he fears the future. Since he cannot change the past, he guilt himself over it. This is how he is limited. Then there is the Inner-Man who lives in the World of Imagination. In this World, he is unlimited and can create what he wishes. He is free beyond measure and everything that he can be conceive of is his. Everything. Not one thing is not his because he is the Creator of it! If the Inner Man wants to walk into a store and take what he wishes without paying, he can also make the cashier wave and smile at him. EVERYTHING is permissible in the World of Imagination (1 Corin 10:23). Permissible meaning, if you want to change something within it, you can and you do not have to ask anyone's permission. If the Inner Man becomes frightened inside this World, or starts to feel guilty and fears a punishment, he can be rest assured that he is one the Creating ALL of that. There is NO OTHER GOD, CREATOR in the World of Imagination. However, here is where things must be understood. Without understanding this, everything I write or what Neville wrote becomes confusing and meaningless. THERE IS NO OBJECTIVE OUTER-MAN. The Outer-Man is simply an expression of the Inner Man. The only Man that exists is the Inner Man. There is NO OBJECTIVE WORLD OF THE SENSES. The World of the Senses, is but the expression of the World of Imagination. When the Outer-Man starts to fear his world, or he dislikes his world, it is not the Outer-Man who dislikes it. Nor is there something wrong with his Outer-World. There is only One who dislikes it and that is the Inner Man. This is important, please listen carefully: When the Outer-Man dislikes or fears his World of the Senses, it is actually the Inner Man fooling himself into believing he is the Outer-Man who is fearful of the World of the Senses. Meaning you are never NOT the Inner Man. In other words you are ALWAYS the Inner Man. Always. There is no other Man. The Inner Man can convince himself that he is this Outer-Body living in this dangerous world but he is still the Inner Man fooling himself into that! “ ~ edward art series , Part 14: The God Of The World Of Imagination!

it’s not “ living in your head “ and you don’t have to “ live in your head “ imagination is a tool to mold this 3D into absolutely whatever you desire , what you have in imagination expresses in this outer world you don’t have to imagine 24/7 it’s just the knowing and fulfillment that you have it in your imagination & that feeling expresses , feeling is how you change SELF which is what expresses . this expression and this body is something you as GOD chose to be in but we are conditioned to believe that this reality just happens to us & not from us & your really can change that once you put the law to test with you imagination … you want unconditional love from your parents , give it to yourself in imagination FEEL THAT LOVE . you want princess treatment ? imagine that everyone gives you that imagine people treating you like a queen , LEAVE THE WORLD ALONE it’s just an expression . slowly you will notice how people are randomly giving you the best treatment everywhere . just imagine and leave the world alone . when you imagine remove this outer world , the past , the future .. what you should do or have to do .. DO WHAT YOU WANT . it’s your imagination, create your own personal reality .

“ What the Inner Man FEELS himself to BE and FEELS himself to HAVE in the World of Imagination is what will be EXPRESSED in this World of the Senses. You right now are living this outer-world. You are walking around, laying down, doing your daily activities. So you are an individual living in a world where you limited. But you can only experience your own life, self. Likewise, you are an individual, an INNER individual living in the World Of Imagination. In this World, you are God. You can imagine anything. All things are possible here in this world, INCLUDING the FULFILLMENT of your desire. However, you can ONLY experience SELF in this World. But you can change SELF to what you want. And SELF is what you THINK you HAVE and what you THINK you ARE in this World of Imagination. Read that sentence again. And SELF, THAT SELF, is what is EXPRESSED. Pay attention to what I am saying. As you read this, you are living in this 3D world. You own things within it, you HAVE things. Based on what you HAVE in this 3D world, you create identities for yourself. So if you have no money, you claim to be poor. If you have no love, freedom, or punishments, we claim we are unloved, trapped and guilty. Remember, we CLAIM we ARE things BASED on what we THINK WE "HAVE." So please see what I am saying here. If you stop identifying yourself with this 3D world, which is simply an expression of INNER SELF, if you stop identifying yourself with what this 3D person "HAS," and start identifying yourself with the INNER MAN, you will see the freedom I am speaking of. Let's say you in are desire of money or love or peace. It does not matter what it is. You do not HAVE it in this 3D space, and since you do not have it, you claim that you are "broke, unwanted etc." BUT let's instead you identified yourself with the INNER MAN who lives in the World of Imagination. So you close your eyes and enter into the World Within. Bring the desire to your Mind. Understand that you must fulfill it IN THIS WORLD. Let the 3D World remain the same, just leave it entirely alone.” ~ edward art series , part 15: awakening. added this cuz it would look a lil boring w/o LOL studyspoo 📓 ~

I hope this helped you angel < 3 ~ 💌

#˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚anonhelp☕️~!#this was too long lol 📥#bye my angels ! 💌

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typenull · 2 months

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how do you find the courage to open up about parts + distinction? its nice in theory (i like being understood and accepted) but in reality its scary. im currently finding it difficult & near impossible to do so with my closest (IRL & online) friends + group therapist. (even names/pronouns). i feel like a trapped deer in headlights. what about you? i think of you as brave and admire that trait about you for being so open about it. sorry if this message is weird. i dont know how else to say it.

wow hi anon, first of all thanks for the ask; i'm really honored that you'd think of me that way about something like this in the first place... and it's not weird at all, don't worry! this subject is definitely something i go back and forth about all of the time, and i think that fear you're describing is completely normal; especially if you're only just beginning to try sharing about having parts at all. so don't worry, i think the fear is actually kind of "baked-in" to the disorder itself, imo.

this got pretty long, so i'm going to put it under a cut!

i think a large part of what you may be picking up on from me has just come from time. i've been formally diagnosed for about 3 years now, but i first identified my symptoms about 10 years ago; i've had a really long time to make a whole fuckton of both mistakes and tough decisions when it comes to how i want to present being dissociative online. compared to how i was when i was younger, i actually consider the amount of actual information i share to be fairly low (so it's surprising to me that i seem as open and not like a private recluse lol) - but my overall acceptance of the disorder and what it means for me to have it has definitely solidified in the past 3 years. that's allowed me to curate a fairly generally cohesive "collective" image, but that can sort of be a pro or a con. i tend to view any information i share online as just being a small "segment" of the overall "chimera" - as long as what sections i share don't put me at risk, it just becomes another facet of how people see me overall. basically, i try to incorporate my view of the disorder into my presentation of my self, i guess. i wouldn't be who i am without my parts, so they become part of me. this mindset largely stems from having to backtrack on a lot of old ideas about the disorder; viewing parts as external figures, presenting parts as Quote Unquote "Completely Separate", etc. you'll have to put your own time into thinking what those sorts of things mean to you, and how you collectively think of it when it applies to yourself.

despite how it looks, i actually have comparatively very few parts that feel fully comfortable "presenting" solely as themself nowadays, and to have that luxury is actually fairly rare. as the guy who's writing this I personally only recently (within the past 2 weeks or so) worked up the courage to present as anything personal to me at all. this is mostly because having a collective name online gives me (overall) the freedom to hide behind that moniker and image that i've spent so long curating, and trying to step outside of that is a pretty big source of risk.

for the most part, i deliberately try not to share information about parts that could put myself in danger, or that would cross those part's boundaries. there are some disagreements when it comes to this; some information that certain parts feel strongest about sharing / feel is strongest tied to their personal identity online can sometimes be information that others feel like "if you post this online we will actually die" about, lol. as always, communication is the most important part of dealing with any part of this disorder.

building off of that, i think the most important piece of advice or what have you is going to sound kind of cliche if you've been deep in the paint on reading advice for DID, but it will get easier as you get to know your parts - and more specifically, each parts boundaries. i would take the time to ask your self and others what exactly it is that makes you freeze up when trying to share or present in a way that's comparatively more open. i'd even ask myself what you consider "being open" means to you, because it's different for everyone. i found myself realizing that a lot of my hangups with it were from other parts' fears or worries, and had to talk it through to come to a middle ground with them.

this is especially true when it comes to wanting to be open to therapists. i've never been in group therapy outside of inpatient before, so i can't exactly be the best help there... but i personally try to remind myself that despite how it feels, i'm technically the person in the position of power in a therapeutic relationship because i'm paying for their service. if i share and i feel it alters our relationship in a way i dislike, or that it puts me in danger, i have the authority to terminate that therapeutic relationship. i would start small and just see how it feels to share about the existence of parts at all in a group setting like that before diving into anything more personal.

i feel like i had more to say, but i've already typed up a whole novel, lol... i hope at least this can give you some insight on where i come from when sharing things online. thanks a lot again for the ask, it means a lot that you'd look up to me in any way. i'm not at all an arbiter of DID advice or anything, but if you'd ever like to shoot me a message off anon you can certainly give it a shot. (even though i'm bad at responding to dms.)

#Anonymous

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mountain-lion-gremlin · 5 months

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sometimes I feel like the old community that built up the alterhuman / nonhuman community has been forgotten.

Like everything has been so humanized, our identities are no longer deep because we don't teach the newer ones to try and understand it.

Sort of now feels like a game of "what feels like you the best?" And obviously, that isnt bad nor has it even been a problem. I've just been having this gut feeling that the whole community is becoming more and more human and forgetting what brought us here in the first place. Why we even feel these sorts of things. Like being a part of yourself is just a side blog, just something that is an add on and not something that is apart of you if that makes sense...

I feel lonely a lot, because I can rarely find anyone who connects with their nonhumanity as deeply as I do.

Rven though I'm currently not practicing being nonhuman and focusing on my shifts - no, not practicing, releasing. I haven't been releasing recently due to life and existing really lol. But either way, I just feel like this emptiness from being human is leaking very deeply into these places that once went to these places to hide from that.

Maybe others understand what im getting at and feel the same lol. I know others can't tell the difference, but I certainly can. And of course being human for some is an important part of their identity! I mean like I love being human - there's so many neat cool things and it's so great that I can even write this out so other creatures and decipher my thoughts and gain meaning out of them.

I just feel like the older, deeper, and more core primal part of the nonhuman community has been shunned and forgotten because of the bad reputation it has. And it's dying, and it's just mournful to see people wander onto these alterhuman places that don't connect with them, and talking about something that this other group completely understands, but has been completely lost and forgotten about.

Its scary to think that the p-shifting community is dying. But people don't want to believe in things that challenge the rational world now, and that's okay. Perhaps it needs to die. I'll always be a p-shifter through and through though. I'll always be a shapeshifter, even if nobody knows or understands what that is anymore.

Perhaps, a new community will grow over these old roots and find new meaning to shapeshifting. Perhaps our flawed ways will be seen and avoided. I want to see a community that isn't dying or dead because someone is a dictator with no actual experience in shapeshifting. I want to see a community where being a hybrid is okay, being unrealistic in your form is fine, that discovering werewolves and shapeshifting through a TV show doesn't make you a faker.

The p-shifting community is flawed. I do hope the old dumpsterfire dies. And I hope to god that we come out on the other side healthier and more alive then ever. I will say though, I have a feeling that no matter what happens the meaning of physically shifting will be lost no matter what we do. It's too taboo, too strange to most, and defies all logic in tiny human brains. That's okay though.

The practice has never been bad, but the people have been. I believe that p-shifting has never been bad (Of course if you apply it correctly. Anything done incorrectly can cause issues, including p-shifting) but the people who claim it, the people who attempt to dictate it, are. We don't need to destroy and harm and ban people because they aren't what you want, because they don't fit your standard of okay cuz there isn't any "science".

ill probably cover that anothertime, I'm incredibly passionate about the issues in the shapeshifting/ werewolf / p-shifter whatever you want to call it community.

But anyways, this is a tiny post about just expressing how I feel about this lack of depth that I feel about alterhumanity as a whole. I feel like they are moving in a direction that has lost the core meaning of being something other than human .

I will say though, it depends on how you view yourself and your relationship with your humanity. Perhaps all along there has been a large majority of people who sort of identify with being not human, but are mostly human. Perhaps the shapeshifter community is just an extreme version of this, that's why there's a lack of depth to it (personally to me)

regardless. Most likely no one will read this lolll

#p-shift #mountain lion.txt #shapeshifting community #yes I ramble #I will probably never cover what I said I would #goodbye

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lehhoh7822 · 6 months

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asking about the legally blonde fics 🙄 (JOKING i actually really want to hear about them. please?)

THANK YOU its not letting me add a cut guys..... i would if i could..... long post??

alright hi i write legally blonde fanfics after being involved in a production of it earlier this year and. well.

like i think my fanfic is very ehhhh for most people because i like essentially getting to write completely different songs and then having to integrate them into canon if that makes sense?? based solely off the musical, like, none of pilar margot serena really have ANY established backstory and i havent seen the movie or read the book in such a long time. so what i mean is that i get to write this horrifying piece about someone experiencing parentifcation in an abusive environment and then try to integrate that character into the more canonised characterisation.

i guess the reason is like. of musicals, legally blonde is very.... i don't know, its pretty solid in terms of content for the musical. its absurd like most musicals which kind of facilitated me and my friend (im gonna @ their dead blog from when they were like 12 @kittykatturtles-blog) to make crack theories and then give me things that i wanted to extrapolate from it. I guess the other thing about these fics is that i want to write about how. fucked a lot of rich people are. i think part of this is coming out of the dsmp fandom or engaging with it more critically in terms of a fandom and being able to recognise the kind of repetitiveness of a lot of fanfictions in a very... trope esque way? like there are so many fics which are basically the same and a lot of those feel like they didn't have anything to say or think about in terms of the characters.

i think the other part of it which matters to me is being able to write about themes which are genuinely really serious, and at times intimately familiar to me; exploitative religious groups, familial abuse, dissociative identity disorder, and more, without the worry of too heavy scruntiny. like i remember when i was writing for dsmp i always got kind of scared of writing something too serious and having people like like. oh my god. hes a MINOR. YOURE KILLING ME. the whole point of the stories aren't just that bad things are happening or that these characters are justified or whatever, it's about. how do you keep going? how do you keep loving? how do you explain yourself.

i think something thats super important to be is character autonomy. it rings pretty bad for me when a traumatised or disabled is given no action on their end at all for anything, making them a hollow slate for the abled characters to support and research and worry about and lie to. to me, as someone who is traumatised and is disabled, that kind of dynamic is gross to read about. so its important to me to be able to write about, even if it cant exist in real life, the idea of supportive people who are also kind of fucked up and having to acknowledge the real hopelessness of complex issues is something i want to depict in my writing.

for a lot of people, for most i think, when terrible things happen they can't just stop and they somehow have to keep on going despite the world feeling like its stopped turning for them. and i think a lot of bad things do happen to people when they are still young. one of the worst years of my life was when i was 12 and its genuinely quite hard to top it. trying to write the spiky complex feelings of self hatred and confusion and injustice you can't place and hopelessness is cathartic to me and i think its important for me that it exists.

the other thing is that. like by the nature of my writing, this is leading to a better future. im a pretty slow writer, and i can't be hyperfixated on the story i need to just be continually trying to think and work on it. but because we know; we know they make it to college, we know they have friends, and in this i know that they can make it to adulthood, its an assertion, from me as a writer and from me as a traumatised disabled person that i will make a better future and the worst parts of your life will not definte them. idk.

this is the link to the first two fics and im writing a new one as we speak

if you want to hear more about ttolt characters (we have pilar, serena, margot, elle, serenas parents and brother, pilars infinite fucking siblings and parents, and a few others) then send me asks about it. PLEASE dear god

#my writing #personal #thank you so much for the ask!!!!!!!!#legally blonde #ttolt

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nottoofondofgaypeople · 4 months

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hi hello figured i should send mcd asks to your mcd blog

anyway what’s something in canon that your changing? can be important or not im just curious about your rewrite

Thank you so much for the ask! I literally don't get anything done with this rewrite if people don't ask me about it.

Editors note: I think I missed posting on Tumblr because this post got away from me in the span of five minutes of writing...

I've been having a lot of thoughts about changing canon recently, some that I'm not super solid on. I know I want to change Aaron's death, but I'm not sure how. And I know for a fact I want to change Tu'la pretty drastically, but it's hard to do so with the current cast because so few of them would ever be really connected to it. Those are ideas I'm work shopping right now.

The one thing in canon I know I want to change is Garroth's betrayal. Because Lilian is an illusionist. So like... She could have knocked out Laurance and stole the amulet while disguised as Garroth. And then used the mask she had already used on him to mind control him away from the battlefield and to Zane while she did this.

This means that Laurance thinks Garroth betrayed them just in time for the mind control to properly set in and Garroth can actually betray them. And Lilian plotted all of this out. That's another thing, I'm fleshing out Lilian A LOT because even if she's a barely present character, I find her incredibly fascinating. She's 100% a girl boss and absolutely Zane's favorite that isn't Janus.

I like the idea of Lilian and Zane working together on more things than any other member of the Jury though. She's his most trusted confidant. Because I did something evil. I always thought that Lily, Aaron's dead wife, and Lilian looked similar and had similar names. Suspiciously similar.

Let's be honest, Zane is a petty malicious bastard, he absolutely would have a member of his jury willing to give up their identity to him take on the appearance of one of his victims. Just to taunt another. Man what was I on about with Gene as Arthis, Zane is clearly Arthis Menathil, but his Sylvannas is a man?? Unless Lilian is Sylvannas?? Or wait would it be Kiki?! I should stop going down this path, thinking about WoW only causes trouble.

Hey random aside, Lilian is totally trans, and she's used magic to transition fully. Zane helped her with all of this when she first joined the Jury and confessed to being born in the wrong body. That's all!

Anyways what I was trying to say is that Zane basically asked Lilian to take on the appearance of Lily when she pledged her loyalty to him. She had a different name. It's never clear if she remembers who she was or not, because her life seemingly started when she joined the Jury. Even if Janus is stronger and therefore better at enacting Zane's violence for him, Lilian is the most loyal member of the Jury. Zane knows that he can always rely on her.

And y'know what?? I'm gonna say it. Maybe they were a little in love. There. I said it. Fuck it, I'm gonna make Zane break from canon by expressing a genuine moment of vulnerability when he sees Lilian die because he cared about her. That sort of loyalty may be a tool he uses, but he also just cares about Lilian. How can he not when she's so devoted to him and so genuinely kind? She actually loves Zane, sort of, in a bad way, and he actually loves her, sort of, in a bad way.

Did I just imply that the inner most rankings of the Jury of Nine are actually just Zane's Polycule?? Y'know I can't even be surprised a post that was supposed to be about Garroth somehow turned into a new villain polycule, but I'm still a little amazed I managed to do that...

TLDR: Garroth gets mind controlled, Laurance gets played like a fiddle, and Lilian is a slaytastic girl boss that will surely be missed.

#minecraft diaries #mcd rewrite #minecraft diaries rewrite #aphblr #aphverse #text post #garroth ro'meave #mcd garroth #laurance zvahl #mcd laurance #mcd aphmau #zane ro'meave #mcd zane #mcd Lilian #mcd Lily #canon divergence #answering asks

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bropunzeling · 6 months

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i think the research u do for fics is insane... thinking deeply about the logistics of soulbond/omegaverse/cisswap mattdrai where they invoke a partner clause like... policy writing IS fanfiction actually... would u ever consider diving into the logistics of the partner clause...

hello anon! what a funny/good question haha. this got uh long so under the cut are some thoughts about that (also, like, spoilers for linger if anyone cares)

want to set the table by saying (a) im SO not a lawyer, law school VERY not for me, i know a lot of lawyers and they all terrify me (affectionate) and (b) i do not really do much research beyond my ongoing love affair with hockey reference dot com (and stuff to inform characterization ofc!) -- but i think the existence of the idea of these like, bond clauses (explicit in the omegaverse one, may come up if i write more soulbond) comes from a general question that i think about whenever im writing an au concept which is: how would this one wacky change (people have another form of sexual presentation! people can have half physical half mental all emotional connections to another person!) influence other aspects of life besides me smashing my ken dolls together?

obviously the trappings are fun - reality tv! inane pop songs! if people can get bonded do they also have weddings? how does this influence pbs documentaries. but i often think about things from a public policy perspective because it's what i know lol. and with those examples in particular, my thought process was -- here's this thing that can romantically and sexually entangle people, but there's also a physical component. bonding in omegaverse or soulbonds often changes you/has some sort of tangible impact if you’re separated -- you get bond sick, your heat cycle changes, that sort of thing. there would probably be some sort of sociopolitical movement to protect those social structures because you can't have people getting physically fucked up if they aren't allowed to follow/bring a partner with them! maybe it was a given in many cultures and laws developed to formalize social structures. maybe in the us there's some sort of landmark federal legislation to provide greater protections in the 60s and 70s. maybe the un has a body of international standards.

and in any/all of those cases, it would be something that would get bargained in something like a sports cba because in a world where these kinds of intense bonds are possible between members of your same-gender league, inEVITABLY capitalism will run up against those off ice bonds, and people would feel strongly about keeping their partner with them!

also in linger specifically, i knew i wanted the main conflict to be this sort of, matthew vs his body, matthew vs his identity as an omega/what he perceives being an omega to mean, matthew's desire for independence and control vs his desire for physical and emotional connection and leon. and when i was first trying to figure out my way into a plot (especially how to handle The Trade) and spitballing on twitter, a friend was like what if alpha/omega relationships were a really big deal legally? and the idea of bond rights sprung out of that because it was the perfect narrative tool to be like, here is this tangible economic and occupational consequence if matthew gets bonded. here is a real thing that will happen that will cause him to lose that sense of control over his own life. here is the Threat that is always sitting in the back of his mind. and even though it hopefully comes across that like, leon doesn't think of their relationship that way, he wouldn't actually force matthew to stay close if matthew didn't want to, matthew doesn't know that! he's seen bond rights used before! he doesn't want it to be him! and then that really drives the conflict of the story, because he sees holding himself apart from leon as this way to achieve not just emotional independence and self-control, but also very literally control over his own career.

so yeah idk! world building! not only does it provide color and depth but hopefully it can drive conflict and plot as well!

(also tbc there is no such partner clause in the girl!leon verse, they are just being very savvy about contracts and cap capacity and eventually gonna finangle their way to the same team through guile and playing hardball)

#ask #thanks anon sorry this is so rambling!#also #omega matthew

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