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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 9 months

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Sexism in TOS: Worst Offender, or Progressive in Retrospect in Comparison?

I see a lot of folks claim that TOS was the most sexist of the Star Trek shows by a landslide -- and while I agree that it definitely suffered from the sexism of the times, I also have other perspectives to share to give some food for thought.

I am of course not insinuating that TOS isn't sexist -- it is, but I have to ask folks to consider the breadth and depth of Berman's sexism in his run and ask yourself: Was Gene Roddenberry genuinely more sexist in his storytelling and delivery than Rick Berman?

I'm not telling you to feel one way or the other, but all I ask is that you hear me out and consider some perspectives and make your own balanced assessments. Nobody is obligated to share my opinion, but it means a lot just to have folks hear it and see their thoughts on the subject. So here is what I was originally responding to:

Someone's response to this photo:

"Devil's advocate. This was a part of the popular form of cardio during the production time of TNG. Yes, it was heavily sexualised by men, but so is literally every other way women work out. Men have been caught taking pictures of women while trying to do dead lifts, running on tracks and working on sled machines. They post them online to share too. The fact is, there is no way a woman can be shown working out without it going there. And yeah,t hat includes the combat forms of workout they do in Star Trek. Just look at how Dax dresses when she spars with Worf. Yes, they're dating, but still, same goes when 7 does and any other female.

Aerobics routines like this were made dirty and cringy. This was what women wore then by and large. This is how the workout was done. We make it cringy."

My response to them:

"I respect your take, but I disagree on a few fronts.

The miniskirt was chosen by the TOS female cast, not the male cast, specifically requested by Grace LW and affirmed by Nichelle and Majel who would go on to vehemently defend the miniskirt over the years as comfortable and embraced by them.

Grace said it was comfortable and seen as a symbol of female sexual empowerment during the 60s and thought it would be a progressive garment (and turns out that it was, as it was later adapted and worn by male crew as a skant on TNG) -- FYI those were designed by a gay man and Gene approved them.

This was also supposed to be Spock's TMP outfit:

Literally lingerie.

We saw both Uhura (who saves Kirk in from Marlena Mirror Mirror) and Yeoman Landon (the first to initiate combat with a classic Kirk-esque kick to help the Captain being attacked in The Apple) carry out their combat training in their Starfleet uniforms without ever being made to change into any ridiculous workout gear.

In fact, I'd argue Jim Kirk was sexualized even more than the ladies of the week on the show and I saw his naked body more than anyone else's on a fairly regular basis. He wore red yoga tights while topless in Charlie X while the women wore full length gymnastic suits that covered their entire body. If anything, it went out of its way to avoid sexualizing women practicing fitness in those scenes and instead focused on Kirk.

Gene confessed that he asked to have Shatner filmed in suggestive/provocative ways to "give something to the ladies", so he -- as he said -- liked to "film him walking away" or have him conveniently busting out of his shirts in just about every episode as it were, because Shatner apparently had great assets. LOL

Gene made an effort to at least sexualize both if he was going to sexualize one, and he carried that attitude forward in wanting the m/m and f/f scenes in the background on Risa for TNG. He also insisted that the men and women wear skimpy outfits on THAT TNG planet. You know the one. LOL I mean the dudes even had on less than the women:

Gene also gave permission to K/S shippers to have their conventions back in the 70s when he was asked for permission. Gene and Nimoy felt with all the skimpy outfits they had the ladies wear, why not let the ladies and gay men have their fun, too? It's how we ended up with moments like this:

Yes, those are two people dressed up as Kirk and Spock's penises doing interpretive dance. Gene didn't give two damns. LOL

In my eyes, that was a very progressive take on Gene's part for the 60s. It was actually PARAMOUNT STUDIOS who had the big problem with K/S stories and vehemently tried to shut them down. Gene literally hired slash authors on his payroll and even had several slash stories/writers published in his official Star Trek books (The New Voyages & The New Voyages II).

I feel I saw Uhura and women in TOS engaged in more physical combat/altercations defending themselves that Troi or Bev were shown holding their own.

In fact, Kirk used to get furious when someone would "dress up" his female crew members without their consent (Trelane episode, Shore Leave episode) because like his male crew members, he wanted them to be treated professionally and to also have his male crew act professionally.

Berman brought some of his own personal biases into Star Trek that in some ways regressed it. While TOS had blatant sexism and was called on it time and again, that show was made in the 60s -- a solid 21 years before TNG. We as a modern audience understood why some of it was cringe/sexist due to the time period -- look at any other media coming out in the 60s and Star Trek was miles ahead of what other shows were doing.

Compare that to Berman who was churning sexist stuff out when women like Starbuck and Scully were simultaneously on screen on other programs airing, and we had already had Sigourney Weaver and other strong women in Holywood playing respectful roles.

In my eyes, there was no need of the sexism seen in TNG but especially VOY and ENT. There was no excuse for it when other shows were writing women far better and a number of those weren't even set in the future like Trek was, making it age even faster due to having those dated perspectives frequently highlighted.

In the Center Seat documentary as well as "The Fifty Year Mission" book you will find cast members, writers and other studio alumni who attest to this. Some discussions from "The Fifty Year Mission":

"First, Berman was supposed to have been a real sleaze ball . . . According to Terry Farrel, he would go on constantly about how her breasts weren't big enough, how she should do something about it, and how his secretary was a good example to follow as she had huge breasts. She even had to have fittings to get larger bras, and that was all done at his behest.

Later Berman and Braga developed a name for Jeri Ryan's character prior Seven of Nine. They originally called the character "perineum" which if you look it up it is the area between the anus and the scrotum. Later they floated the name "6 of 9". I mean, what does it tell you about where these two were coming from in the development of this character if they had names like that put forward in all seriousness for her?"

Gene Roddenberry also had some of his own more progressive ideas for TNG cut or watered down by Berman. Roddenberry agreed TNG should have homosexual relationships and representation at a con in the 80s and insisted on it in a meeting with his writers -- something Berman later would not honor. Gene wanted the AIDS episode, showing m/m and f/f in the Riza scenes -- these were some of Roddenberry's requests to include in TNG that Berman later stonewalled.

Berman's era was sadly dated by his own misogynist bias, IMO, to the point that it can somewhat hurt the shows he worked on through his cringe egoism and blatant disrespect toward his female cast.

There is a reason why Gene could keep female actresses working with him and Berman had a revolving door of women that he couldn't seem to keep working for him -- he was abhorrent to women, on and off set. Gene wasn't perfect at all, he had a lot of issues himself -- but Berman was a whole other level. Just look at what he did to poor Jolene Blalock, Marina Sirtis and his toxic commenting on her body weight which exacerbated her struggles with eating disorders, or how he treated and talked to Terry Farrell.

Anyway, just some food for thought. I'm not saying anyone is wrong regarding a take like that, but there are a variety of ways to look at this. Gene Roddenberry isn't a saint by any means, but it definitely bothers me how folks will tote the Berman era as if it were the lesser of two evils or the more progressive depiction of women when I felt there were far more concerning portrayals of women in his era with far less justification.

(P.S: I don't event want to go near the sheer amount of "creepy old dude/villain preys on innocent/naïve/scared young woman or little girl" stories there were in Berman's era, either. But that's a whole other can of worms I can write about in a part 2.)

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hangingwithmygnomies15 · 2 years

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guys it’s okay, pride month is almost over. we can go back to being menaces to society

#almost forgot it was pride month fr #until my friend texted me and said i wanna come out via Instagram at the end of pride month #i was like okay queen #did you tell your parents yet #she was like no 👹#i said girl you’re gonna have your folks find out you’re gay from an instagram post??#she said yeah #i was like that’s ballsy #couldn’t be me but pop off

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elmmni · 2 years

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THERES A TOP DERIVATIVE AND A BOTTOMS DERIVATIVE AND HE KEPT SAYING HOW DO U DO IT WITH AN EMPHASIS ON IT

OH MY GOD???? THE DERIVATIVES ARE HAVING GAY SEX

#i just sent you an ask about this cause i didnt see this oops <//3 #but holy SHIT #yeah you were right thats gay as fuck what the hell #sabkhfakhadskhasdkvhaskhvsd losing my mind #merc beloved!!#da moots :)#this just in folks the derivatives are homoerotic and mercs math teacher ships it #she speaks?

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neroushalvaus · 5 months

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Tumblr in the 60s – deleted posts

Some people requested a sequel to this post so I thought I'd post these drafts that didn't make it to the original. Maybe doing more at some point if the inspiration hits me but I hope these bring you some joy.

🚀 starrfleet Follow

HEY GUYS!! We're buying The Beatles so John and Paul can finally get together!! Who's in

🎹 nixonsafascist Follow

Call that... Beatles for Sale

🚀 starrfleet Follow

Dude this is serious. We want to free them. Why is homophobia so very funny to you?

🎶 mclennstarrison Follow

Didn't The Beatles start managing themselves after Mr Epstein died? So you plan to buy them... From themselves?

🚀 starrfleet Follow

Oh so the george harrison vampire mpreg blog is going to preach to us now.

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📻 lesbianbobdylan Follow

"Let men have short hair!!" "It's okay to not agree with the civil rights folk" "Don't let tumblr tell you that serving your country is bad" You are all so chronically online and convinced your little hippie bubble represents the world that you have the worst takes. Conservatism is alive and well, us hippies are the fucking minority. The outside world is perfectly okay with all the anti-mlk short-haired men who are happily getting drafted. You are not counterculture.

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☁️ ankin-vaimo Follow

Tumblr is so US/UK centric. Scrolling through this site you'd think there were no other tv shows than star trek and no other bands than the monkees and that the stonewall riots were the only meaningful political activism that has ever happened. There's so much great culture elsewhere. I bet you have never even heard of Tapani Kansa.

🇻🇳 shirellesofficial

#shhh don't tell Tumblr that other countries exist #they couldn't even admit Please Mr. Postman was originated by black women (tags via @marvelettesofficial)

peer reviewed tags

#sorry for going through your tumblr marvelettesofficial #you're just so funny #hope i'm not annoying you

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🌼 andpeoplesaywebeatlearound Follow

People really like to pretend us Beatles girlies hate Y*ko for being asian and a woman like she didn't literally make John cheat on his wife and leave his young son

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians Follow

don't talk like us beatles girlies are all the same, i personally want to fuck her on a canvas while we're both covered in menstrual blood, creating modern art by making love

✝️ jesusrevolution Follow

Op is this you? ↓

🎶 mclennstarrison Follow

Also like, "made John cheat on his wife and leave his young son", did John himself have nothing to do with that decision or..?

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians Follow

do you guys think she and john do mommy play

🎶 mclennstarrison Follow

I appreciate the input @prostitutesandlesbians but we're trying to call the op out for being a racist misogynist

🪕 prostitutesandlesbians Follow

sorry

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🤪 thekinkykinks Follow

Why is there even discourse about this... Yeah, the folks at Stonewall could have been more respectful towards the police officers who were just doing their jobs, but why are we acting like throwing some pennies at the police officers and calling them "Lily Law" is the worst type of oppression

🥿 trustnobutch Follow

You know what? No. Fuck you. I'm tired of you all talking about these people like they were your poor little meow meows. Have you read about this at all? The raid did not happen because the police "hates gay people wah wah". Stonewall Inn was run by the mob. The. Fucking. Mob. Would you rather have the police not protecting us from criminals, huh??? And the rioters were nothing but a bunch of attention seekers. I heard that a guy from the fucking Mattachine Society phoned newspapers and took pictures of the riot. I'm so disappointed, that was the only gay group that seemed to care about looking respectable in the eyes of the heterosexuals. People who were there made us all look bad and set our movement back like 50 years. Fuck you for supporting them.

🍊 kissmemissoklaholma Follow

Yeah. I heard someone threw a brick.

✌ draftdodgerdyke

??? Nobody threw bricks, where the fuck do you get your information ??

#they should have tho #chilling at the stockholm airport finding the weirdest takes

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🧸 teddyboyfemme Follow

i'm sharing a joint with this cute ass butch with the cutest curliest hair ever guyyyyssss I think i'm falling in love

🧸 teddyboyfemme Follow

she plays the harmonica for me i want to fuck her to the mattress

🧸 teddyboyfemme Follow

i don't have any idea what she's singing about but i think she likes the rolling stones too, we have so much in commonnnn

🧸 teddyboyfemme Follow

So it turns out that was Bob Dylan.

70,9 t. notes

#tumblr in the 60s #1960s #dashboard simulator #i edited some of them so they'd appear more finished #racism ment //#better safe than sorry

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 5 months

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I expanded on this.

The gate to hell was closed, and Vecna was dead. Unfortunately, Max and Eddie were still in a coma. Things were starting to change in Hawkins, and for a lot of people, it was a welcome change. . .for the more conservative, however, it was almost like the end of the world. While Max and Eddie slept, several people packed up and left the town they no longer believed was safe. They simply refused to believe that Eddie wasn't the killer or that he wasn't possessed by Satan.

In their place, freaks like Eddie started moving into their homes. It was metalheads who wanted to support their fellow comrades, and it was nerds who wanted to know that people like them no longer had people coming after him. It was also people like Eddie, people like Robin, and people like Steve who came to support someone who they felt like he was one of their own even though they had no way of knowing. Soon, it became a safe place for metalheads, nerds, and for the queer folk. It became such a safe place for them that Robin, Steve, and Will felt comfortable enough to come out to the party.

The only downside were the conspiracy theorists that followed everyone else and the insane people who believed that they were in love with Eddie. The overwhelming number of people who moved into Hawkins became too much, even if they meant well, even if they wanted to show support for Eddie. They needed more people on the police force, which meant bringing Hopper in back as Chief, something Powell had been grateful for.

"I still can't believe it," Robin rambled as she stacked videotapes. "Who knew that Vecna tearing a hole in the middle of Hawkins would lead it to becoming, like San Franciso?"

"Yeah, did you know the Hideout is basically a gay bar now?" Steve asked.

"What?! No!" Robin shrieked as she dropped a tape and then she narrowed her eyes. "Wait. . .how do you know? . . . Steve Muriel Harrington, did you go and have a one-night stand?"

"Shut up, I should have never told you my middle name. I couldn't sleep, okay?" Steve blushed.

"Okay, so, how much did this guy look like Eddie?" Robin asked.

"Not at all," Steve scoffed. "Okay, a little bit . . . a lot! He looked a lot like Eddie, but he was mean. I know that Eddie could be an asshole, but he was too mean. . . too rude to the bartender who was serving him drinks. It made me feel good about giving him a fake number and a fake name."

"So, how often did you call him Eddie while you were pounding away inside of him?" Robin said.

"You ever think we should consider the whole boundary thing that Nancy says we should have?" Steve asked.

"Okay, so several times then," Robin grinned. "Nance is joking because where is the fun in having boundaries?"

"By the way, there was no . . . um, you know. . .," Steve said, blushing.

"Penetration?" she asked.

"Nope," Steve replied.

"You're hoping to save that for Eddie, aren't you?" Robin asked, grinning and then looked at him softly. "He's going to wake up, you know. So is Max. Being possessed by an evil wizard takes a lot out of people. It has to. They just need to rest."

"I know," he said.

The bell above the door rang, and Vickie burst through, her face shining in excitement. She ran towards Robin and didn't skid to a stop in time, causing the tapes in Robin's arms to spill onto the floor.

"Sorry," Vickie squeaked.

"It's not a problem. I've done worse," Robin said with a wide grin, her eyes as shiny as Vickie's face.

"I got asked out by a woman! Though she wasn't the one that I wanted to ask me out or the one that I wanted to ask out, actually. Though she was hot, and I definitely have a thing for women with pretty blue eyes," Vickie rambled. "Anyway, after I rejected her, but I did it very nicely, I came here because I wanted to ask you out. I understand if you don't want to. I totally would get through it because I'd want you in my life no matter what. Yeah, right, I actually have to ask you out. Will you go out with me?"

They were still kneeling on the floor in the middle of a bunch of video tapes. Robin stared at her for a moment before grinning.

"Yeah, I would love to!" Robin exclaimed.

"Great!" Vickie exclaimed and surged forward to kiss her.

The kiss was quick, and she broke it to help Robin pick up the tapes. Vickie mumbled something about heading to work and kissed Robin again before rushing out the door. Robin gaped at the door before turning to Steve, who's mouth was also opened. They moved towards each other at the same time. They screamed and started jumping at the same time. Steve hugged Robin tightly. She pulled back and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Don't worry, Steve. If it happened for me then it's going to happen for you," Robin said. "That's how platonic soulmates work, right?"

"Duh," Steve rolled his eyes affectionately.

The bell above the door rang, and they turned their heads at the same time. Hopper walked in. Steve frowned. Was he really expecting Eddie to walk in and ask him out?

"Am I interrupting something?" Hopper asked.

"Vickie asked me out!" Robin blurted out.

"She the girl you kept going on about?" Hopper asked.

"Yeah," she said dreamily.

"I'm happy for you. You know, uh, that Gareth kid asked out Will," Hopper replied.

"Gareth and Will? I didn't even know they were friends," Steve said in surprise.

"Yeah, Gareth was upset about Eddie, sitting by his beside. Will was volunteering as usual and he comforted him," Hopper said.

"Will is such a precious angel," Robin said fondly.

"Yeah," Hopper said, a proud look on his face.

"Aw, proud dad," Robin said.

"Isn't Gareth a little bit older?" Steve asked.

"Only by two years," Hopper scoffed. "I like the guy. He's pretty respectful of Will and the three inches rule so I'll allow it for now."

"As long as it's not Mike, right?" Steve asked with a grin.

"Hey, I like the guy as long as none of my kids are dating him," Hopper said. "Which thankfully none are. I actually came here to talk to you, Steve."

"Look, I think of you like a dad and I like Joyce too much so I'm going to have to turn you down," Steve quipped and Robin snorted with laughter.

"Don't make me shoot you, kid," Hopper said, the corners of his mouth twitching. "I'd hate to kill a potential deputy."

"What?!" Steve and Robin asked.

"Look, as you know, we're kind of overrun over there even with Owens providing some agents as deputies," Hopper said. "I know you don't trust anyone of those goons, neither do I but we need the help and I kind of need to someone else that I trust around there. I know you guys have a thing about cops too but sometimes the best thing is to fix it from the inside, and I trust what you have to say. You're a good kid, with good instincts, and I think you would make a good cop. Just think about it."

"Well, then we wouldn't be working together," Robin said with wide eyes.

"You're welcome to help out around the station part time, kid. I'd hate to break up the set," Hopper said. "Your mom told me you were looking for a second job. What do you call each other again? Oh, yeah. Platonic soulmates."

"Platonic with a capital P!" they said, leaning their heads together.

"Let me confer with my soulmate for a moment," Robin said.

They moved to the back to the store and pressed their foreheads together, whispering. It was only a couple of minutes later before they were back again.

"We'll take the job!" Robin and Steve exclaimed.

Now, here they were several weeks later, and Steve had settled into his role as a deputy pretty well. It was hard work and a pretty good distraction from the fact that Eddie, as well as Max, wasn't awake. Now that school had let out for the summer and Robin had graduated, she was now working part-time at the station. The crowd outside the hospital was still sitting in wait for the day their lord and savior, Eddie Munson would awaken. Some days, they were quiet and settled. Other days, they grew quite rowdy, and there are more days now where they were restless. Hopper swore they would get bored eventually, and it wasn't like they were violent. . .well, aside from a rare few. So far, they were just eager to know that one of their own was okay, which Steve thought was kind of sweet. Steve was filling out paperwork at his desk, ignoring the balls of paper Robin was throwing at him, when Hopper came barreling out of his office looking pale.

"Chief?" Steve asked.

"They're awake," Hopper said.

Steve didn't hesitate to follow Hopper out the door, and Robin followed quickly behind him. They went to see Max first, and they her sitting up slightly, her new glasses on her face. Lucas, El, and Susan surrounded her bed.

"Did I miss anything?" Max asked and then grinned. "Ew, Steve, are you a cop? Disgusting."

"I'll forgive you for that, but so you know, once you are up and moving around, I'll have something to say," Steve said. "I might even get a lawyer because I believe that's slander, Mayfield."

"If your lawyer is Dustin, he's not going to do well against Nancy," Max laughed.

"Ooh, your lawyer is Nancy? Yeah, Dustin's toast," Robin said.

"You make a good cop, Steve," Max said softly. "If anyone can make those lazy cops get off their asses, it's you. You're an example of what a good cop should be, Steve."

"Thanks, Max," Steve said, looking touched. "Glad you're awake, kid."

"So, I have to ask. . .the full grown mustache. . . Are you trying to look like Hopper?" Max asked.

"What? No?!" Steve exclaimed.

"He does think of Hopper like a dad," Robin pointed out.

"Aww, Steve, do you want Hopper to be your dad?" Max teased.

"Leaving now," Steve said, rolling his eyes.

He made it to Eddie's room and stood in front of it. He was trembling in excitement, but he was also nervous. Before he became a cop, he was here almost every day holding his hand. In that time, he got to know Wayne and Eddie's friends. He also got to know Eddie some more from the stories they told. They were weary about him at first, but once they saw how much he cared, they accepted him easily. Once Steve got them talking about Eddie, they couldn't shut up. Steve took a deep breath and calmed his nerves. He pushed open the door and strolled in. The members of Hellfire and Corrded Coffin had surrounded Eddie's beside. Wayne wouldn't be there yet, seeing as he was stuck at work. Calling him had been the first thing he had done when he got to the hospital. Eddie was sitting up, grinning, and then he spotted Steve. Eddie frowned in confusion.

"Harrington! You've been working so hard we were starting to forget what you looked like," Jeff said. "Damn, baby, you fill out that uniform good."

Jeff started wolf whistling, and the other boys soon followed.

"Alright! Cut it out!" Steve laughed. "What did I say about flirting with me to get my grandmother's brownie recipe, Jeffrey?"

"To keep doing it," Jeff grinned.

"No, no, I did not say that besides, I know I'm not your type," Steve laughed.

"What? Since when is a man with good hair and meaty thighs not my type?" Jeff cackled.

"Argyle doesn't have a problem with it?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Please, Argyle doesn't have a jealous bone in his body. Besides, so far, it's just sex," he grinned. "Really good sex."

"Wait. . .so, Steve knows about you? You're flirting with Steve. . .wait, are you friends with my friends?" Eddie asked.

"Actually, they're my friends now, too, Eddie. We share custody," Steve said proudly.

"Aw, Dad, we finally have a mother, and he makes the best brownies," Gareth said, leaning heavily onto Steve’s shoulder.

"Fuck off, Emerson," Steve laughed.

"By the way, since when are you a cop?" Eddie asked.

"Things around here have gotten a bit overwhelmed since you've been asleep," Steve shrugged.

"Yeah, Hawkins has gotten a lot more interesting since you decided to be lazy, Munson," Frankie said.

"It's very, very good," Gareth grinned.

"What the hell does that mean?" Eddie asked.

"You'll never believe it until you see it," Frankie said.

Hopper popped his head in for a moment and whispered in Steve's ear. He smirked and looked over at Eddie, who was staring at them in confusion. Steve wiggled his fingers at him. Hopper tipped his hat at Eddie before leaving. Steve leaned down and whispered in Gareth's ear, and he grinned, jumping up.

"Alright, boys," Gareth said. "Teddy wants to talk to us. He's probably quite eager for Eddie to start playing at the Hideout again!"

They said goodbye to him one by one, and then they were gone. Steve went to take Gareth's seat but was impeded by the crumbs he left behind. Steve started muttering as he turned around to clean it off, giving Eddie a clear view of his ass. Suddenly, Eddie's heart monitor started beeping a little louder. Steve whirled around.

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I accidentally, uh, messed with one of the wires," Eddie blushed.

"Okay," Steve frowned, looking at him, thoughtfully.

He turned around again and started swiping off the crumbs. Eddie's heart monitor went off again, and Steve turned around again.

"I swear! I am trying not to touch them!" Eddie shrieked. "Just sit down, man! Forget about the crumbs."

Confused by his reaction, Steve sat down, crossing his legs like he usually did. Eddie groaned and leaned his head back.

"Your uncle wanted to be here, but unfortunately, he missed a lot of days sitting by your beside, so he can't get away. The compensation money only went so far, and you guys also got a house out of it," Steve said, grinning.

"Wait, an actual house?!" Eddie asked.

"With your own rooms and everything," Steve replied. "Of course, you'll still be living next door to the Mayfields. I think Wayne insisted on it."

"Really?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, Susan and Wayne have gotten friendly over the last few months," Steve shrugged.

"How friendly?" Eddie asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, he is the one who pulled Susan's head out of her own ass. Her drinking got worse after Max went into the coma. It nearly killed her. I was visiting with Wayne when I decided to go check in on Susan, and we found her unresponsive. When we finally got her sober enough, Wayne gave her quite the talking too," Steve said, and then he deepened his voice to sound like Wayne. "I ain't gonna yell at you, but I am going to tell you God's honest truth. I heard a lot about that husband and stepson of yours to know that you put that little girl through hell. You didn't lift a single finger to stop it. If you die now and that girl wakes up, it's always going to hang over her head that she wasn't enough for you to do better, that she deserved the crap you put her through. You owe it to her now to prove to her that she is enough and that you can do better. I expect you to be clean and waiting by her beside when she wakes up. Don't do it for me, don't do it for you. . .do it for her."

"Damn, that sounds exactly like Uncle Wayne," Eddie said, blinking back tears. "It worked?"

"Yeah, she's even therapy now working on her issues. She's really grateful for Wayne," Steve smiled.

"Good for her, I'm glad it worked on someone's parents," Eddie sighed.

"Yeah, Wayne's the best, I wish my dad was more like him," Steve said.

"Dads can be such assholes. Guess it's not just mine?" Eddie asked, and Steve shook his head. "So, when can I leave here? The food here is just awful. . .company isn't so bad, though."

"Once the doctor clears both you and Max, you guys should be able to go home by this evening," Steve said. "By the way, you are in luck. I'm the one who's going to be taking you home."

"Lucky me. . .so we won, huh?" Eddie asked.

"In more ways than one," Steve grinned.

Once they were ready to leave, Steve wheeled him out to the back of the hospital.

"I guess the protesters are out front," Eddie muttered.

"Something like that," Steve said and wheeled him over to his car.

He helped Eddie out of the wheelchair, catching him around the waist when the metalhead stumbled. They were really close now, their noses practically brushing up against each other's. Steve could feel Eddie's breath against his lips.

"Uh, I'd like to sit down," Eddie said awkwardly.

"Right, right," Steve said.

He cleared his throat and set Eddie in the passenger's seat. He pulled out of the hospital and frowned. For once, the usual people weren't there. Where the hell did they go? Steve got his answer a moment later when he saw them lined up on the sidewalk leaving the hospital. Eddie had to do a double take when he saw them walking down the street.

"What the fuck?! Steve. . .where the hell are we?" Eddie asked.

"We're in Hawkins, dude," Steve replied.

"Um, no the fuck we're not. What did I just see? There's more of them!" Eddie exclaimed as he stuck his head out the window.

"Oh my God! ls that Eddie Munson?!" A girl shrieks, and Eddie freezes. "EDDIE! I LOVE YOU!"

"Oh my God! Steve. She's chasing after the car like a goddamn dog! Steve! She's fucking fast! You tell me where the fuck we actually are right this instant, Steven, because there is no way this is fucking Hawkins! Are you - are you laughing at me? Steve!!" Eddie shrieked.

Steve pulled him down by his belt, and Eddie glared at him as he rolled up the window.

"Okay, so, after you slipped into your coma, the gates closed, and you were cleared of all charges, a lot of people started to leave. Most of them were uptight conservatives, of course. Word started spreading about you and how you were framed for murder. Slowly, it started off with the metalheads coming to town to support one of their own, then came the gays, the lesbians, and the bisexuals as well as a few transgender people. It was enough to kick out more uptight assholes but there are some who are refusing to leave. At first, they protested, but now they're slowly coming to terms with it. It's funny watching them have to sort of adjust to our way of life instead of the other way around," Steve said. "And these people, they all love you, Eddie."

"Our way of life?" Eddie asked.

"Well, for me and Robin, I don't know about you, but she's a lesbian and I'm bisexual," Steve said.

"Yeah, me too," Eddie said softly, and then his eyes widened. "I mean, bisexual, not a lesbian. Not there's anything wrong with being a lesbian but it's not who I am."

"Eddie, I got it," Steve said, laughing.

"So, what? After being nearly swallowed up by hell, Hawkins is a safe place to live now?" Eddie asked. "I woke up expecting to be chased out of my own hometown like they've been trying to do with me my whole life. This is just. . . What the fuck?"

Eddie looked down at his lap, his eyes filling up with tears. Once Steve managed to get away from Eddie's admirers, he pulled off to the side and parked onto the shoulder. He leaned over and pulled Eddie into his arms, hugging him gently. Eddie wrapped his arms around, his hands digging into his back as he cried.

"It's okay, I've got you. You're safe," Steve whispered in his ear.

Eddie clung to him as he calmed down. Once the tears stopped and his body was no longer shaking, he pulled away from him. Steve pulled a tissue out of the glove box and gave it to him. Eddie thanked him, and they drove the rest of the way to his house. They finally arrived at Eddie's house. It was in a secluded neighborhood, two houses at the end of the street, and blocked off by trees from the rest of the neighborhood, which meant that Eddie could probably play his music as loud as he wanted to. Although Max might have something to say about it. Eddie's house was a modest one story with white shudders and pale blue walls. The paint was peeling a bit, but overall, the house was nice, and it was a lot better than the trailer.

Eddie started struggling with his seat belt, which was perfect because Dustin's face appeared in the window, and the curtain pulled back. 'Not ready,' he mouthed. Steve sighed. That meant distracting Eddie. Steve grinned. He leaned over and started helping him with his seatbelt. They got it unstuck, but Steve didn't move from his position once the seat belt was removed. His face was rather close to Eddie's.

"There's something that I've been wanting to do since you woke up," Steve said.

"Kill me?!" Eddie yelped.

"What?! No!" Steve laughed. "Close, though."

He captured Eddie's perfectly plump lips with his, kissing him softly. At first, Eddie didn't respond, and Steve was worried that he misread the signals. He started to pull away when suddenly Eddie grabbed him the back of the neck and pulled him back in. Suddenly, his soft kiss had turned into a bruising, desperate kiss. Steve returned it with the same amount of enthusiasm, hand in Eddie's hair. Eddie broke the kiss, breathing heavily.

"Maybe we should take this inside," Eddie gasped.

"Or maybe we take this to the back seat, and you shackle me with my own handcuffs," Steve said and attached his lips to Eddie's neck.

Eddie groaned as Steve kissed his neck and let out a guttural moan when Steve started nipping at it, his mustache tickling his neck.

"You're killing me, Steve," Eddie said. "I fucking knew you would. Robin?"

Steve broke away and looked at him.

"Okay, I have to say calling me by my best friend's name when I'm trying to put the moves on you is a little weird," Steve said.

"What? No! She's just popped her head out of my new front door, looked at us, rolled her eyes, and went back in. What is going on?" Eddie asked.

"You'll see, come on," Steve said and climbed out of the car before helping Eddie.

"You were distracting me," Eddie said, narrowing his eyes at him.

"I really did want to kiss you," Steve said sheepishly.

They started walking towards when Eddie stopped him.

"You threw me a welcome home party, didn't you?" Eddie asked.

"I might have, for both you and Max," Steve said. "Planned the whole thing while you were sleeping."

Eddie grinned at Steve and wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He broke it, leaning his forehead against Steve’s.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," Eddie said and paused. "By the way, you're absolutely killing me with that uniform. It should be illegal for anyone to look this good. You're going to have to arrest yourself because, baby, you're breaking quite a few laws."

Steve giggled and kissed him, not caring if anyone else was watching them. They broke apart when they heard Max's front door open. She came out and started walking towards Eddie's house, leaning on her cane. She narrowed her eyes at them, looking much like a bug with her new glasses. Her mother followed behind her.

"Dustin called and said he wanted us to come over," Max said. "He threw us a party, didn't he?"

"I'm not saying anything," Eddie said, and Max rolled her eyes. "It was all Steve!"

"Nice," Steve scoffed.

"Thanks, Steve," Max said softly.

She wrapped her arm around his waist, hugging him. She leaned against him and let him help her inside. His free hand wrapped around Eddie's. They all walked into the small but spacious living room where everyone jumped out with noisemakers. Steve, Eddie, and Max jumped. Max stuffed her face into Steve’s side.

"Surprise!" Dustin shrieked. "Welcome home!"

"Oh my god!" Eddie exclaimed. "I am so surprised!"

"Oh, Goddamnit! Steve told you, didn't he?" Dustin exclaimed and Eddie shrugged, grinning.

"He guessed," Steve shrugged.

"This is still pretty nice, Henderson. Thank you all," Eddie said, and he started hugging everyone. "Max is crying, by the way."

"Fuck off!" Max exclaimed.

Steve watched as the party took off, and Eddie mingled with everyone. For the first time in a long time, Steve felt at peace, and he felt safe, especially when he looked at Eddie. . . When he looked at what this town had become. At some point during the mingling, Eddie came over and nestled himself into Steve’s arms. Yeah, everything was perfect.

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stevesbipanic · 2 months

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@steddielovemonth Day 29: Love is going out of your way to do something you know will make them happy @forgottenkanji

Eddie knew a lot of things about Steve. He knew he loved peonies more than roses and listened to folk music when he cooked. He knew he loved sledding in the winter and lake days in the summer. He knew every step of his hair care routine and loved head scratches the most. Above all he knew Steve loved Valentine's Day.

He remembered how Steve would always make sure every girl got at least one rose delivered to them in home room and loved decorating his locker. Always wrote his classmates cards to fill their love boxes and made sure the kids got plenty of chocolate. Watched some special girl get taken on a perfect date each year, wishing for a world it could be him.

He remembers there being no dates last year, Steve looking as forlorn as him. He would find out a couple months later it's because the golden boy had been harbouring an equally massive crush and they promptly got together.

Now this year he vowed to go all out for his sweet boyfriend and give him the Valentine's Day he deserved.

"Eddie you hate Valentine's Day."

"You said it was capitalist bullshit."

"You literally burnt a bouquet once."

Eddie glared at the other Hellfire boys, he'd asked them to the diner to help him plan the best day ever not be attacked.

"That was the old Eddie, a sad gay little teenager, adult Eddie has the prettiest boy in the world to please."

Jeff was looking at him fondly while Grant rolled his eyes and Gareth gagged.

"EW don't call my cousin pretty!"

"We literally perform a song where I do just that."

"GOLDEN GODDESS IS ABOUT STEVE!"

"Hush, Garebear, we have plans to make."

The plan began simple, Robin was to take Steve out for breakfast, well, Steve take her out after she begs. Convincing Robin of the plan was easy since she loves Steve and free food as much as Eddie.

Then, while the boys set up the final surprise, Eddie would meet up with Steve at the arcade with the kids.

"Can't wait til we're home and alone, Eds, nice to have someone on Valentine's Day again."

"Just you wait, sweetheart."

Max would then radio Steve asking him to drive her to the movies for her date (although she was refusing to call it that again) with Lucas. She was also easy to convince, liking free rides.

Eddie would quickly change and rush to Steve's apartment to make dinner, he'd told Max to delay getting ready til Steve got there to stall him. He figured he'd have just enough time before-

Eddie was only halfway through making dinner before he heard the keys in the lock. No, Steve was home early, the candles weren't even lit yet!

"Eddie?"

He felt caught and dejected, all his plans falling through his fingers.

Steve glanced around the apartment, rose petals and unlit candles and the dining table set for two with a bouquet of peonies in a vase. Steve's favourite, spaghetti bubbling away behind Eddie.

"Eds, did you do all this for me?"

There's a certain awe in his voice as he asks. Eddie turns, turning down the heat on the pot and steps towards Steve. He takes his boy's hands gazing at him softly, "Of course, sweetheart, you love Valentine's Day. You're always so busy making it special for everyone else, and you missed last year, I wanted you to get wooed for once."

Steve's eyes are a little misty but he's smiling so Eddie knows he's not upset, "You got home early tho, baby, I haven't even lit the candles or turned on the music," Eddie explained biting his lip softly.

"I'm guessing Max was meant to keep me busy? You didn't tell Sinclair and his mom picked her up," Steve laughed.

"Shit, I knew I forgot something."

Steve kissed his cheek, "I'm going to get changed, think that'll be enough time for you?"

"Knowing you'll take forever with your hair, yeah I'll be ready, angel."

Steve flicked him playfully, "Oi, you love my hair."

Eddie yelped but smiled coyly, "Love messing it up too," he said winking.

Steve blushed and went to his bedroom to change. Eddie quickly finished the food, turned on the radio and lit the candles hoping it all set a romantic mood. Like clockwork he plated the food just as Steve returned to the room.

"Smells delicious, baby, you made my favourite!"

Eddie helped him into his chair, playing up the gentlemen's act, "Anything for you, sunshine." He poured them wine and laughed together as Eddie explained the whole plan, including Gareth's protest which Steve's giggled at. They were now cuddled on the couch, not really watching the movie, more just looking at each other occasionally trading soft kisses.

"Thank you for today, Eds, it really means a lot."

"I want to make every day special for you, Stevie."

"I wanted to ask you something, was going to ask on our anniversary but no-one has ever seen me the way you do."

"You know you can ask me anything, love."

Steve took Eddie's hand, glancing down and playing with his rings, a habit Eddie knew he did when he was nervous, "I wanted to ask if you wanted to move in with me?"

A smile quickly crept across Eddie's face, thought about getting to come home everyday to Steve and wake up every morning to him. Thought about how home had become the boy sitting across from him, wherever he went Eddie always wanted to follow.

"I'd love to move in with you, Stevie."

Neither boy would ever have to spend another day, Valentine's or not, not feeling completely and utterly loved ever again.

#had to end love month with a big fluff piece #ty sandy for running this awesome event #cant wait for the next month challenge #might even be doing one of my own 👀#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #ficlet #fluff #valentines day #end of love month means end of summer for me here in aus

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sp4cepunisher · 1 year

Text

dress [ e. williams ]

summary ; ellie loves to see you in your dress, almost as much as she loves seeing you out of it.

warnings ; 18+ themes, minors dni ! pure smut, top!ellie x bottom!reader. very strong language, explicit depictions of sexual intercourse [ reader receiving; fingering ] + semi-public sex basically ellie can’t stop looking at you and fantasising about you because you’re just so fucking hot and you can’t help but do the same because she looks so good in her suit sooo she fucks you in the bathroom at a party!!!

author’s note ; buckle yourselves in, folks! because… *evil little smirk* this is one hell of a raunchy piece of gay, smutty smut. it’s like, a great mix of romantic and dirty and just brimful of all the good stuff! thank you so much to the anon who requested this because it’s actually my first piece of full smut since my return! so! i hope i haven’t lost my sparkle! + if i’ve forgotten to feature any warnings above which you think should be included, (as always) pleeeease let me know! also, like... half way? three quarters of the way? through writing this i became very aware of the fact that it was aaactually supposed to be more of a make love kind of narrative, buuut i got way too wrapped up in the idea of the reader’s dress, which then unfolded into pure smut whiiich then just... became a super raunchy desperate bathroom situation and.... *scratches my head* uuuh.... yeah! i hope that’s cool with you because there isn’t much i can do about it, now! *blows you all the biggest, fattest kiss ever* okay, i thiiink that’s it from me! enjoy this you sick, twisted little fucks!!! (jk i love u we’re sick + twisted together<3)

. . .

ellie wasn’t particularly fond of parties.

sure, she enjoyed a drink. to a certain extent, she liked to mingle. and yeah, she enjoyed music (that being said, it had to be good music). but ellie’s favourite part about any party was when she was able to attend with you, like tonight; adorned in a dress you had found in the back and beyond of your wardrobe; your features complimented by light makeup with a demeanour a little looser than usual, thanks to the one, two, three, four drinks which you had been sipping and cradling in your hand throughout the evening. you were shining; a golden statue amongst the other grey bodies; glowing like a household fire, and ellie was enamoured by the way in which she could practically see the happiness radiating from your every pore. making an appearance at dina’s birthday party hadn’t exactly been at the top of ellie’s to-do list, but the night actually hadn’t turned out to be as bad as she had anticipated. as far she was concerned, ellie would have been content in staying at the party all night if that meant being able to continue catching lucky glimpses of your upper thigh whenever you would sit down, or being able to admire the way your nipples would harden beneath the thin fabric of your dress whenever the cool summer breeze would make its way through the open door and kiss over your bare shoulders.

you were a little tipsy. probably more than your sober self would have cared to admit in any other circumstance, but right now you didn’t care. your veins were flooded with serotonin, head as light as air and body warm from the alcohol, which had been sliding down your throat like honeyed velvet far too easily that evening. you had actually felt happy; watching the birthday girl spinning around in admirers’ arms, but always finding her way back to jesse; content in remaining seated at one of the tables, you had been enjoying chatting to those who came and left the few seats beside you, catching up and sharing a few polite laughs. but what had made you the happiest was the feeling of a certain girl’s eyes fixed to the side of your head for what had seemed like hours, now. it had been hours. you knew that ellie preferred to remain at the sidelines at things like this— close enough to keep you in her eyeline, but far enough away to ensure that she didn’t have to mix with too many people, aside from those who would linger at the bar for a few minutes— but you could tell that the majority of her attention had been dedicated to you, and only you.

“hey, party girl!” a voice cut through your train of thought, and you knew that the person standing beside you was dina before you had even turned your head. there she was; a little sweaty from dancing but still looking as pretty as ever, chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath, a smile plastered to her face as you looked up at her. “y’wanna dance?”

“oh,” you shook your head insistently, eyebrows furrowing a little. “no, thanks. i’d end up on my ass if i danced, right now.”

“c’mo—n,” she reached for your hand, curling and uncurling her fingers as she silently willed you to place your hand in hers. “it’s my birthday. are you really gonna refuse me a dance?”

you sighed. it wasn’t just an excuse, although you didn’t love dancing in a room full of people. you really were too tipsy to remain content in your self-awareness. “dina. there are still like, twenty people out there who wanna dance with you.” you gestured towards the abundance of people that remained out on the floor.

“but there’s only one person who i wanna dance with, right now. buuut, she’s sitting right here, refusing me my wish, on my birthday!”

you rubbed your fingers across your forehead, eyes searching dina’s for even the tiniest glimpse of her giving up, but you weren’t sure you were going to get it. you couldn’t help but allow your gaze to drift over to the bar, eyes immediately finding ellie and lips curling up into a smile when you noticed the way in which her green eyes sparkled.

“cheers to another trip around the sun, dina! another year older and wiser, and yet, (y/n) still won’t dance with you!” dina’s gaze soon followed yours when she received no reply, her face immediately softening when she realised what— or rather, who— had grabbed your attention before she could continue guilt tripping you into making a fool out of yourself. “oooh, i see,” a smile was evident in her voice. “you’d rather sit here and stare at ellie all night, huh?”

you turned back to look at her, rolling your eyes. “actually, she’s been staring at me all night.”

dina laughed. you knew how much she loved you and ellie together. “okay, well. i guess i can’t exactly stand in the way of love-”

“oh my god, stop.”

“-but you owe me a dance next time, okay?”

not being entirely sure when “next time” would be, but realising that it was probably in your best interests to hold your tongue, since you were pretty sure you had — god knows how, because she was stubborn when she wanted to be — just managed to get out of dancing with dina, you simply nodded your head and smiled politely. “okay, dee.” you rested your chin on your fists as you propped your elbows up on the table. while you watched as she turned back around to regain her rightful position on the dancefloor, you hadn’t been aware of the sound of wooden chair legs raking across the oak flooring as the seat beside was pulled out.

“hey, you.”

the voice didn’t make you jump exactly, but it did take you by surprise to assume that someone else may actually want to be in your company. that was, of course, until your turned your head to put a name to the body in the chair and came to realise that it was ellie; dressed in the white button-down shirt that she had borrowed from jesse, (which was technically too big for her but which she made do with by tucking it into her trousers) and complimented by the contrasting black tie which you had secured around her neck a few hours earlier, after she had complained that she had “no fucking idea how to tie a stupid tie”. you knew that dina’s choice of dress code hadn’t thrilled ellie— she was the most comfortable in one of her old sweatshirts and a pair of her battered black jeans— but my god, did she look good in her make-shift suit. with half of her hair tied up into a messy bun at the back of her head and the other half barely brushing her shoulders, you couldn’t quite believe that she was all yours.

“hey,” you breathed, smile stretching over your features as soon as you were aware of a steady hand coming to rest on the small of your back, and you felt your girlfriend’s lips press a gentle kiss to your exposed shoulder.

“having a good night?” she whispered into your skin, the loose ends of her hair tickling your pores which caused goosebumps to rise up over the back of your neck.

“yeah, actually. it’s been fun. s’nice seeing dina so happy,” you nodded. “are you?”

ellie shrugged her shoulders gently, eyes making their way around the room momentarily but finding their way back to you with no problem. “yeah, i mean... i thought it was gonna be worse.”

you let your eyes drift over ellie’s features; having free rein over the sandy shore of her freckles and the glint in her tidal eyes, her auburn wisps framing them as if an art exhibition; she belonged in a museum. you were well aware of how much she regarded these kinds of events with disfavour, and knew how much she would have preferred spending the evening inside, alone, with you. “always the optimist, babe,” you teased her, lifting a hand from beneath your chin and using it to give her cotton-clad knee a squeeze; subtle in nature but obvious to your girlfriend in both reassurance and affection. “but, i am glad we came. i mean, look at her,” you reverted your attention back to dina, gaze softening as you watched her being swayed in jesse’s arms, still a magnet beneath every onlookers’ cobalt eyes. “she’s glowing.”

but ellie had no real desire to look at dina. not when she could look at you. her eyes were glued to you; wandering over the slope of your back, the dent of your spine nestled between your shoulder blades as if sculpted by god himself, and which she honestly believed she could litter with kisses until the sun came up. how the definition of your breastbone shone in the light, taunting her; almost beseeching her to drag her callused fingertips over the skin to bring about the inevitable goosebumps which would come decorate you like sequins. the way your delicate fingers wrapped themselves around your glass, lifting it from the table and bringing it to your lips, which appeared like two pristine rose petals; how your throat twitched as the alcohol disappeared and you swallowed it down so easily. “you’re even brighter,” she whispered, her words making themselves known to you before she had even really processed them; brisk in the way they launched themselves from her lips but weightless in the way they drifted down before your face. it was too late to stop them now. actually, she didn’t really want to stop them. “you look beautiful, tonight. have i told you that?”

you turned your head back to look at the girl beside you, your action soothed by the feeling of her hand travelling up the expanse of your back, tracing your spine with her thumb and allowing her fingers to follow closely behind. “only like, twenty times,” your comment evoked a certain glint in ellie’s eyes. “but, so do you.” you batted the compliment back, almost without missing a beat.

she scoffed. “please, i feel ridiculous.”

you shook your head insistently, dutch courage guiding your hand like a puppeteer and sliding it further up ellie’s thigh. you loved the feeling of the fabric against your fingertips, the roughness of the fibres contrasted with the sleekness of her skin hidden beneath them; the rise and fall of her muscle which felt like heaven to you, in that moment. “you shouldn’t,” your voice was lower now, just loud enough to still be heard by only ellie above the music. “you look so good.”

the solidity evident your words peaked ellie’s interest. sure, you had told her how well you thought she pulled the look off before you had arrived at the party together, but the most self-conscious parts of ellie had all rallied round to persuade the girl that you were simply just being nice. however, although she knew that you were a little more tipsy than usual, the look in your eyes seemed to ignite something in her; the need to argue her opinion until she was blue in the face evaporated when she noticed the earnest in your face and felt the way in which your thumb was rubbing gentle circles against her inner thigh. “well,” she leaned forward, tucking your hair behind your ear with her nimble fingers, but not before the side of her knuckle grazed against your neck. “that makes two of us, then.”

“oh, stop.”

“been looking at you all night.”

“mm, i know. felt your eyes on me.”

“can you blame me?”

“well, i could look at you in this suit forever,” you whispered, feeling yourself becoming bolder with every breath. “it’s like, made for you.”

“except it’s fuckin’ huge.” ellie grinned. “but, your dress? so perfect. you look so gorgeous,” her fingers slid over your collarbone and to the right, where they caressed the strap of your dress, skimming your skin in their wake. “don’t know which i’d rather see; you in the dress, or…” her eyes flicked back up to find yours, and you noticed that they were considerably darker than before. “you out of it.”

silk words, woven right before your eyes pulled on your brows and caused them to rise, top teeth tugging your bottom between them as an automatic response to the way her sultry words made you feel. the butterflies in your stomach were awoken, swarming in a pack and reaching your throat where you were at a loss for words for a good few seconds. the confidence in your previous comments had been snuffed out just by ellie’s eyes finding yours and the words she had uttered, for your ears only. it had always been easy for the girl to make you feel so small; so shy and yet so bold in your willingness to do anything for her if she asked.

“cat got your tongue?” she whispered, noticing the way in which she had silenced you and revelling in it while the pad of her index finger ran over your jaw. she observed the way the corners of your lips twitched with a shadow of a smile before you leaned a little closer to her, and she couldn’t help but let her gaze fall to the way in which the edge of your dress pulled away from your chest. the valley of supple skin between your breasts was almost calling for her; begging to be kissed and licked and sucked between her teeth, reddened and bruised and marked for a couple of days.

“no,” you bluffed, shrugging your shoulders as nonchalantly as you could manage to pass off. “i was just waiting for you to tell me which one you’d prefer.“

“how about i show you?”

. . .

a cacophony of sound; feet shuffling, the door locking, deep breaths and heavy sighs, filled the intimate space of the room which yourself and ellie soon found yourselves in. her provocative comment had caused you both to make quick work of rising from your seats at the table, your hand slotting into hers like second nature, and your underwear already becoming bedewed from beneath your skirt as she tugged you towards the washroom.

your head was spinning in the best way possible, partly thanks to the alcohol, but otherwise due to the adrenaline which was pulsing through your body like heroin. everything was a blur; everything except the features belonging to your girlfriend which rested just a mere few centimetres from your own face. kisses that were being pressed to your lips took a couple of seconds to be reciprocated, but which were soon accompanied by arms which snaked around your waist and pulled you from the wood of the door, flush against her body as the kisses deepened and soon became one messy, passionate, wordless conversation of shared i love you’s, i missed you’s, i want you’s. your body seemed to become utterly malleable in that moment, moulding into ellie’s like sand as her hips pushed into yours and her hands smoothed over the rise of your ass while yours slid over her shoulders and enjoyed the softness of her cotton shirt against your fingertips.

“mm,” she pulled away from the kiss, lips pink and pupils already blown out so much that her eyes— always so pretty in their viridescence— now seemed deeply sable. “been wanting to touch you all night,” her words were hot against the side of your face as she leaned in and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your jaw, taking them down to your neck where she tasted your perfume on her tongue. you felt her fingers teasing the edge of your skirt, the pads of each digit gliding over the silky fabric and barely skimming the skin of your upper thighs.

“you’ve got me now,” you reassured her, head taking full advantage of the solidness of the door that it rested against. “all to yourself,”

your words caused the girl to smile. “oh, i know. i’m so lucky,” her lips spoke against your collarbone when she finally reached it, teeth grazing the prominent bone menacingly while her fingers toyed with the elastic hem on your underwear. “y’gonna let me touch you, baby?” ellie whispered again, lifting her head to catch your eyes in her darkened stare.

“yes, ellie,”

“mm? you want me to?”

her index fingers hooked around the waistband.

“god, yes,”

“say please,”

her thumb brushed over your veiled folds.

“please, ellie. please,”

your pristine manners, the breathiness of your voice, and the way in which she could almost feel how your cunt was throbbing beneath her touch caused any light that was still evident in ellie’s eyes to be blown out; totally snuffed in a mere couple of seconds. agile fingers pushed the thin piece of material aside while the open palm of her free hand trailed over your breasts, and you felt the cool pads of her digits begin rubbing circles on your clit; firm enough to make your body go stiff, but slow enough to ensure that she could gather all of your wetness.

“fuck, baby,” ellie sighed, eyes threatening to roll back just from the feel of you beneath her digits. “you’ve been wet for a while, huh?”

you nodded, head feeling weightless atop your shoulders as your girlfriend continued her exploration of your arousal.

“is that right? been wet for me all night?” her voice seemed quieter now as she leaned in closer to you, lips pressing against your shoulder in open-mouthed kisses.

you nodded your head again, eyelids heavy and chest beginning to rise and fall a little faster the moment you felt her fingers pick up beneath your skirt. “yes, oh my god,”

“mm, does that feel good?” ellie’s words were hot against your skin; almost scorching against your pulse as her lips began climbing the lustrous slope of your neck.

“feels so good,” you made sure to keep your voice down, the feeling of intense pleasure swarming your body not being quite enough to swipe your conscience completely clean of the fact that yourself and ellie were separated from the other residents of jackson only by a wooden barrier. “need you…”

“yeah? what do y’need me to do, sweet girl?”

the way in which ellie’s fingers were encircling your clit was beginning to make your knees wobble; you needed more, she knew you did. your body was trembling against hers like a newborn calf, your fingers gripping onto her shirt. “need you to fuck me,” you weren’t embarrassed to say it, nor were you too stubborn, which would certainly have been the case if the shoe had happened to be on the other foot. plus, you knew how much ellie enjoyed hearing you tell her what you wanted; how much it satisfied her every need alone, just to simply hear the words come out of your mouth. “please…”

the girl hummed, her middle and third finger parting to slide over your folds, which were both so deliciously slick with the wetness she had been enjoying only a few seconds earlier. she lifted her head from your shoulder, catching your gaze as best she could from behind your blissful expression and heavy eyes to soak up the desperation and ardour which resided in your irises. “i love you,” she whispered, leaning close enough to whisper against your lips. you remained quiet, the sound of your deep inhales and exhales being the only shadow of an answer that she received. that was when she decided to dip the very tip of her middle finger into your luscious hole, which she could already tell was flooded with your arousal in an attempt to prompt a real response from you. “do you love me, baby?”

you released a shaky breath, lips parting a little wider when you felt ellie ease her finger into you a little further, but still not enough to be fully satisfied. “yes,” you nodded, voice heavy but still quiet enough to remain undetected.

“yeah?” she was mocking you now, her finger dipping in and out of your hole at a snail’s pace; still not enough to relieve you. “say it,” your walls were in desperate need of something to tighten around, your wetness beginning to dampen your inner thighs as your girlfriend taunted you, her free hand coming to slide one strap of your dress down your arm, then another. pulling the material from over your breasts, her eyes trailed over the way your pebbled nipples protruded from the silken skin, and the prepossessing fullness of your tits. “c’mon. tell me you fucking love me, pretty girl.”

“i love you,” you breathed, and that seemed to be music to ellie’s ears; the music she had been yearning to hear all night, and enough to finally make her sink her finger into you completely. you instinctively gripped onto her shoulder at the sensation, eyes turning to the ceiling and lips parting to let out a breathy moan as you felt the callused pad of her digit skim over your walls. she was easing you open, just like she always loved to do, while her thumb took its time in smoothing over your nipples with ease. you could already feel your feet threatening to slip out from under, and therefore you kept one hand clamped on ellie’s shoulder in a vice-like grasp, while the other remained tucked behind your back; palm open and desperate in its search for a solid grip on the wood.

your girlfriend teased the outer edge of your hole with a second finger. "mmm,” ellie’s voice vibrated over the expanse of your chest as she littered the rise of your breasts with sloppy kisses, tongue wetting the skin unapologetically. “you feel so fucking good, baby,” the warmth of her breath blew over your hardened nipples, and you felt your back begin to arch from each of the simultaneous sensations which were now ricocheting throughout your body like bullets; one, after the other, after the other. it was then that you felt your nipple become swathed by the flick of ellie’s tongue; then, the sheathing of her lips, and with a subtle curl of her finger, your back started arching off of the door when you felt her push a second digit inside you.

“oh, fuck,” you gasped, arm coming across to drape itself around both of ellie’s shoulder and your nails digging into her bicep through her shirt. she wasn’t going easy on you now, either; both fingers crescent moons, and already pushing against the sponginess of your g-spot like it was nothing. finally finishing her gentle assault on your breasts, she lifted her head and admired the way in which your eyes had fallen closed, jaw having falling slack and your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

“you like that? like it when you can feel me nice ‘nd deep, sweet girl?”

“ye–es, fuck... ellie,”

“sound so pretty when you say my name,” oh, she was getting comfortable, now. “always love hearing it, baby...” ellie knew you were teetering on the edge of an orgasm; clinging onto the last sliver of sanity which barely remained, and so she was tactical in the bending of her thumb and its newfound position on your clit. the obscene squelching which could be heard from beneath your skirt made you bite down on your lip in your best attempt to hold back your moans, and made ellie grin against your jaw as she came to rest her face in the crook of your neck. “oh, fuck yeah,”

the noticeable tightness of your cunt, on top of the incessant pleasure she was supplying to your every nerve through the rhythmic movements of her fingers was threatening to let you down; lungs swelling with the need to cry out from how close you were getting to reaching orgasm. ellie could sense it. she had noticed the way in which your knees had began to buckle and how your spine had curved, body slumped against the door as if you were fully prepared to give it all up. with her gentle words of encouragement being pressed into your neck as if she intended to make them stain, the brunette made quick work of snaking her arm around your waist to hold you up, her grip firm, yet somehow, so gentle, as you reached the great peak of your entirely euphoric, entirely secret, little meeting.

“ellie,” you panted, her name almost totally lost on your lips from beneath the breathy moans that followed. “oh my god. p–please don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop, baby,”

you felt ellie moan into the side of your neck, her thumb brushing over your swollen clit where it began to rub small, firm circles again. “yeah? are you gonna cum?”

“fuck, fuck, fuck, yes,”

her fingers sped up, plunging in and out of your soaking cunt, desperate to earn her prize. “cum for me, pretty girl. i’ve got you, c’mon. i’ve got you,” the way in which the girl coaxed you through the pleasure— disregarding the gibberish which followed your previous coherence, yet making sure to savour every syllable— only made your orgasm more intense. your walls spasmed around ellie’s fingers, eyes rolling back into your head and lips pressed tightly together to muffle the moans which rose up in your throat and threatened to crash straight through them, like a tsunami past a floodgate. your orgasm washed over you; intense and merciless, rendering you stone-cold sober yet disorienting you like a concussion, and with no room for anything other than a ripple in your abdomen, and the absolute soaking of ellie’s hand.

your girlfriend could feel your pulse through your neck, thumping against her face, her skin practically burning from the warmth that was radiating from your body as it remained flush against hers; rendered totally rigid only a few minutes ago, but now falling limp and docile. she couldn’t help but moan into your neck when she slowed her movements enough to feel the stickiness that coated her fingers, her palm, her fucking wrist at this point. she made sure to slide her fingers out of you with conscious and noticeable care, her other hand soon reaching down to slip your underwear back into its original position over the top of your heat. once your grip had loosened from around ellie’s shoulder, and she was content in the sturdiness of your stance upon letting go of your waist, the two of you shared a smile; ellie’s accompanied by eyes which were evidently florescent, and yours through heavy lids.

“good?”

“mm,” you nodded. “always so good,”

your girlfriend leaned in and smiled, capturing your lips in a kiss which was rich in love and reassurance, and which you were quick to return. “good,” she whispered once the two of you had pulled away. “i don’t know how the hell you stayed so quiet, though.”

you grinned, cheeks turning a gentle shade of pink as ellie pushed your hair back from your face. “well, i mean... i’d rather dina remember tonight for reasons other than what we got up to in the bathroom, y’know.”

ellie nodded her head, watching as you slipped the straps of your dress back over your shoulders and smoothed down your skirt. her eyes were full of adoration, pupils still twinkling in the dim light of the room as she took a moment to just look at you. somehow, you looked more beautiful in that moment than you had looked all night, if that was even possible; your eyelids still weighty, skin abundant with that particular kind of glow and your lips slightly reddened. “i love you,” she reminded you, lifting your chin between her thumb and index finger. “a lot.”

“and i love you,”

“even in this stupid suit?”

“oh,” you nodded, biting back a smirk. “especially in that stupid suit.”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #tlou 2 fanfic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us 2 fanfiction #tlou 2

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five-bi-five-mind · 10 months

Text

I Can’t Love You In the Dark

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader

Genre: Angst; Hurt & Comfort; a lil Fluff

Words: 5.8k+

Summary: It wasn’t easy to be in love with JJ, especially when she kept you in the shadows. There was honestly no reason for her to hide you either. At least, not one that you understood. At first you said you understood, but after such a long time of being with her... you were at your limit. Would she make the leap for you or do you just have to walk away once and for all?

Warnings: You could maybe take this as JJ is closeted so warning for that sort of topic. Although is she or is she just JJ? Who knows... Otherwise no other warnings.

A/N: It feels weird to end Pride Month on this note but hopefully the fic is something folks enjoy. Idk I just love writing emotionally guarded JJ and this was... I guess what I came up with? Oops.

It was getting harder for you. When things first started you told yourself you were okay with it all. You understood. It didn’t have to be public, not right away anyways. But then things got even more serious and you wanted more, but you never wanted to push. So, you asked for some progress to be made. JJ was receptive, at least you thought so. She agreed and she promised. Baby steps, that’s what it would need to be. Baby steps. You could do that, you reassured her that you understood that too. Only, that first conversation was months ago and nothing has changed.

You thought at least by now she would be holding your hand in public. Taking you on dates that didn’t consist of sitting at either her or your place and watching movies in the dark. It was getting increasingly harder to pretend that she meant nothing to you other than just someone you worked with when you all went out for drinks as a department. The stolen moments she spent with you when no one was looking were starting to get less exciting and, honestly, a little more sad for you. You just really needed more from her.

It hadn’t been a short time since you two started dating either. It’s been over a year now. So, a year of waiting, a year of hiding, and a year of pining to be like other couples. It was a year of desperately wanting to introduce JJ to your family and having her finally let you meet hers. Except you couldn’t. She wouldn’t allow it.

When you two got started, you were honestly a little shocked that it had happened at all. Yeah, you had a small inkling that the spark you felt around her was not one-sided, but still JJ had never made any indication that she was gay, straight, or otherwise. In fact, JJ didn’t really talk much about romantic relationships in any type of way. You knew that Will had existed. From what you gathered from other people around the BAU, he was a little pushy, a little inconsiderate, and eventually they split before anything could get serious. That was about as much as you knew about JJ’s dating history in general before you two hooked up.

But then you started to notice the way she would look at you. She wasn’t exactly subtle. It surprised you that none of the team had said a word about it or even seemed to notice it. Maybe it was just because you paid so much attention to her that you were able to spot that she was doing the same thing. Either way, eventually one thing led to another and you found yourself locked in a heated kiss with Jennifer Jareau, the source of all your pining from the moment you got the job at the BAU, right in front of your apartment after she dropped you off one random, late night.

It was all history from there. JJ would come over often after work and one kiss would lead to another and then another until it led to even more. Suddenly, she was telling you she loved you and you two were promising each other that even if you weren’t public, you were exclusive. It made you happy at first. Until it didn’t.

You saw your other friends have open, loving relationships and you couldn’t help but want more. Some days all you wanted to do was grab her hand in public and take her on dates where she wouldn’t care who bumped into her. The desire to one day be able to just lean over and kiss her cheek as you walk out of work or embrace her in relief after she gets back from a terrifying case overwhelmed you. You so deeply wanted to proudly love her and, yes, you said you could wait, but you’ve already been waiting so long. You were beginning to think you’d never get that.

Honestly, you weren’t quite sure why she was so hesitant to love you in public. She had never said anything about any of the team or her own family being against her loving another woman. JJ had said you weren’t the first she was with, in fact. Just the first she was actually serious about. But if she was so serious about you, then why the hesitation? Was it because you were also someone who worked at the BAU? You weren’t exactly even on the team, you just filled in for Penelope as the tech person when asked to. So, yeah you could see why it might be a small controversy for her to be dating a coworker, but it wasn’t like it would be the end all be all if they knew you two were together. Worst case, you two would split and you’d transfer to another unit. No big deal. So what was the problem? It was starting to get harder and harder to ignore the feeling that it was because she was ashamed of you. She assured you that wasn’t the case, but these feelings about being kept her secret were just starting to pile up.

And then there was the case that broke it all for you.

This was one of the semi-rare moments where you would fill in for Penelope, so you had every detail of this case at your fingertips. It was a hard one, the images you had to go through churned your stomach and the details on the unsub had you looking over your own shoulder, even if the team was working on the case from miles and miles away. But what was worse was your fear for them while they were out there. Or, more specifically, your fear for JJ’s safety.

Something about this case felt different. It was like you had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. And of fucking course, your gut was right. You got the update from Emily and the way she spoke to you, as if your other half wasn’t currently in grave danger, struck you. She had no way of knowing. Of course, no one did. Her professionalism was completely understandable as she gave you orders on what to do from your side of the country to help the team. You’ve never worked faster on your end before until you heard that JJ was in danger. “Held hostage” were the words Emily used. She was calm, but you could still hear a slight change in her voice. As subtle as it was, you could tell she was anxious too. It was just her job to keep her cool.

What was incredibly difficult for you was to do the same. You knew now was not the time to go exposing JJ and your relationship with her, but all you wanted to do was beg to go there. To be closer to the situation. Hell, you’d fist fight your way into the place she was being held if you had to. All you wanted was to make sure you saw her in person. If you could just run into her arms and assure yourself she was okay then everything would be better. But you couldn’t. If you asked to take a jet and be closer to help more, Emily would say it was unnecessary. If you pushed it, she would ask why. You were stuck there, waiting painfully for updates to come from the other end of the phone.

Of course, everything turned out kind of okay in the end. JJ was injured, but not severely. Scrapes and bruises, you were assured over text by JJ herself. Except, you were still way too anxious to buy that.

So instead you wanted to see for yourself. You knew when she was getting in, so you waited in the office for the team to return. When the jet landed it was only a matter of time before the whole team began flooding in to gather whatever things they left behind before taking off for this case a few days prior. You sat at JJ’s desk, nervously twiddling with your fingers while you kept your eyes glued to the hallway for signs of the team.

Finally, you saw signs of the team. Hotch was first to walk in, then Emily, then Derek who also looked a little battered but still in one piece. Then you saw Spencer and Rossi, but still no JJ. They all seemed pretty intact, minus Derek’s minor injuries, but that immediately made you feel a little relieved. If they weren’t too beaten up then hopefully JJ wasn’t either. But why hadn’t you seen her yet?

Another minute went by and then another and you were getting anxious again. The team greeted you in passing as if nothing was wrong, but they didn’t know the real reason you were waiting. Finally, you heard footsteps again and there was JJ walking through the hall.

Okay, walking was pushing it. More like she was limping. No wonder it took her a few extra minutes to catch up. She looked rough. There were bruises on her jaw, bandages on her forehead, and with every step you could tell she was wincing. Minor scrapes and bruises, your ass. You’d bet a month’s salary that under those bandages were a handful of stitches. If you didn’t know any better, by the way she looked with each step, you’d also say that she had a few broken ribs.

Either way, you immediately shot up from where you sat the moment you laid eyes on her. Before JJ could reach you, you were already speed walking towards her. She hadn’t noticed you for a second, too busy focusing on actually managing to make her way through the BAU with her injuries.

When she did finally see you coming, she stopped in her tracks. You stopped too once you were right in front of her. Your plan was to just get a closer look, ask her an innocent question of if she was okay or not. It wasn’t like you were going to fling yourself into her arms. Honestly, if you did that you thought she wouldn’t be able to remain standing.But then her face said it all as she saw you standing before her. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Her eyes shot around you to the rest of the team, no doubt checking to see if any of them were watching. You would wager a bet that they weren’t. They were probably all too busy trying to get home to their families to pay attention to you too. But still, JJ didn’t seem to notice that. She was looking more withdrawn by the second.

You took a step closer to her. Right now, you were just trying to shake off her reaction to make sure she was okay. That was your top priority. Because, from the looks of it, her appearance screamed that she got the shit kicked out of her.

Your eyes took her in now that you were closer. She had definitely changed since before she got back on the jet, but still she seemed a little disheveled. JJ had bruises on her neck that you could tell dipped down underneath her collar. When your eyes scanned her whole body, you didn’t miss the way she shifted her weight off one foot to the other. She must have hurt her ankle too, you deduced. Then your eyes landed on her hands. One of them was heavily bandaged around her palm, the other wasn’t as well wrapped and you could see that each of her knuckles were badly scraped.

The first thing that went through your mind was a dreadful curiosity at what she went through when held hostage. The next was that she had most definitely been through a trauma. Without really thinking, you took the hand that was bandaged into yours.

You held it in your palm, flipping it over in your hands. She let you for a moment, but only a moment. “What happened to…” you trailed off when you realized she was slowly trying to pull away. Your own hand fell to your side as she pulled back from you as if your cautious touch still stung. For a second, you thought that was exactly it. That you had accidently hurt her palm without intending to, but then you looked up at her and she gave you an indiscreet shake of her head. One that told you not here. You knew that look and that reaction well.

Your heart sank. You felt frustrated. Way too frustrated for being the one who didn’t just go through something that was probably incredibly scary. But still, it was a different kind of trauma to wait back at the BAU while the love of your life was captured and you didn’t know if she would ever come home.

You took one, then two big steps back. You shouldn’t have felt so hurt, but the pain of her action flooded your chest immediately. She mouthed a “tonight” to you as you got space from her. You knew that was her way of confirming she would be coming to your place after a few hours of decompressing from the case.

All you did was nod. The rest of the night you joined the team as you all packed up and got ready to go to your own homes. All the small talk you had, you made sure to do it as far away from JJ as possible. It was hard, but you tried your best not to look her way. However, you definitely could still feel her eyes on you from across the room.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

As per your usual routine with JJ, you heard a knock on your apartment door about 30 minutes after you had arrived home yourself. It was way past sundown, but even so you could see the exhaustion in JJ’s face with the moonlight as you greeted her at the door. You didn’t say anything when you opened the door for her, you just stepped aside and she followed you in.

In the short time you had been alone after saying goodnight to the team and making your way to your apartment, you had made a decision. It was time to finally walk away. You knew that it was the right decision for you, even if it felt like a punch in the gut. But you couldn’t live like this anymore. It was nearly impossible to hide your feelings and concerns for her. And then her reaction to you tonight? It felt like a knife to the heart. All you wanted was to make sure she was okay. The team showed just as much affection for her, so why weren’t you allowed that too? It was getting so hard to not take these rejections, the sneaking around, and everything else that came with loving JJ in the shadows to be something more personal.

So, maybe this was a decision that shouldn’t have been made in 30 minutes. It was big after all. She was the woman you’ve loved for so long. But then again, did you really make this decision in just 30 minutes? It felt like a decision waiting to be made for months now. It loomed over you like a menacing shadow.

But then before you could get very far into your apartment, JJ’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind and you felt her lean her head down to press her cheek to your shoulder. She took a few deep breaths, taking you in after the trauma she had just been through.

You froze for a moment, your heart squeezing in pain. “I didn’t think I’d get this again,” JJ mumbled into your shoulder, her arms tightening around you. Those words struck your heart like a bolt of lightning. Your eyes squeezed shut and you bowed your head. The threat of tears was imminent. You had to be strong right now, you just had to be. But what if you were selfish? Just for a moment… She could have died, you reasoned with yourself. So indulge, because after this night you’ll cut yourself off from JJ completely.

JJ started to turn you in her arms. You let her, even though it was clearly a mistake. The way she looked at you took your breath away. For a moment it was apologetic but then it quickly turned into something else. Her hand pressed against your cheek, urging you to meet her eyes. Something you were so desperately trying to avoid. A single tear slid down your cheek and JJ swiped it away gently with her thumb.

“It’s okay,” She whispered. “I’m okay.” Those were the words she thought you wanted to hear. She knew you had fear for her during this case. The reaction you had at the BAU told her that that fear wasn’t quite eased, even with her return. But that wasn’t why you were struggling not to cry. Yes, it was a small part of it. You needed her to be okay, even if you were about to walk away. She held your heart in her hands, that care and love for her wouldn’t go away any time soon, if ever. No, you were trying not to cry because of how soft she was being. While you couldn’t feel her love out in public, it was in these small private moments where you really understood her feelings for you. It made everything all the more difficult.

She was looking at you as if you were her whole world. Like she would do almost anything to keep you safe even if she was originally the one who’s life was in danger. It was breathtaking, really, the way her eyes were so expressive when she let herself openly love you. It was that expressiveness that only you got to see that made you fall in love with her in the first place. And right now it was tearing your heart apart.

You both stood there in the middle of your apartment for god knows how long. Neither of you were watching the time. She just held you for a while, her arms running up and down your back to comfort you. As much as she loved seeing you and having the alone time with you right now, she was starting to feel that something was off. The minute she walked in, there was heaviness between the two of you that she wasn’t quite used to. It felt like it was creeping under her skin and making her whole body flood with anxiety. And you knew she could sense your mood after a while with the way her arms squeezed you that much closer. The conversation you needed to have wouldn’t be easy, the decision you were making felt like you were about to rip out the biggest part of you.

There wasn’t anyone in your life you loved more than JJ. She was more than your love, she was your life line, protecting you and healing you from all the terrifying things you’d seen in the profession you chose. It especially was hard when asked to fill in for Garcia. The cases JJ worked on seemed more brutal than most, but she faced them head on. You admired her for her strength and you appreciated her understanding of your inability to stomach it all. The way she would pull you into her arms at night and wash away your fears will always be something you’d be grateful for. It was something she was so desperately trying to do for you now, despite all she herself had gone through. There wouldn’t ever be enough words to tell her how much that gesture meant to you. She was always your anchor, she was trying to be that now, but it wasn’t enough. You didn’t want to stop loving Jennifer Jareau, but even more so you didn’t want to be loved by her in the dark. So, maybe right now you were a little selfish. Maybe as she held you in her strong arms, you let her for a little longer than you should. But you still knew what had to be done.

She pressed a hand to the back of your head as she held you. You nuzzled your face closer into her neck, inhaling the comforting scent that was unique to her. Trying with everything inside of you to savor the feeling of her embrace and every other detail that came with JJ before you had to force yourself to let go. It almost seemed like she was doing the same as she buried her own face into the top of your head.

It was when she whispered an “I love you” before pressing a kiss to your head that told you, you had been selfish enough. Those words washed over you like frigid water and suddenly everything inside of you that was in so much pain just screamed even louder.

JJ felt the shift in your body after she did that. Your entire body felt tense in her embrace in an instant and she could tell you were ready to withdraw. She felt the resistance in you when her arms held you tighter.

“Hey,” JJ pulled back to look at you. “What’s going on?” Her hands rubbed at your back, trying to encourage you to relax into her again.

“I…” You couldn’t bear to look at her. Your heart broke as you tried your best to stay strong and take this step for yourself. With your eyes looking everywhere but at her face you finally said, “I think this might be too hard for me, JJ.”

JJ gave you the most heartbroken look you’ve ever seen, but she didn’t let go of you. Instead, her hands moved to your own so she could interlock her fingers with yours. “I know it’s hard,” her voice was barely a whisper. She kept your hands in her own, pulling one up to her lips. With her lips pressed against your skin, she mumbled, “Let me make it easier for us.”

“How would you do that, JJ?” You wanted to put all your hopes into those words. The sincerity in her voice made your heart pound, but still you were hurting. Things weren’t easy when you were in love with Jennifer Jaruea and forced to hide it. It was exhausting, honestly, and you’ve heard her promises before. Things never changed, so how were you to trust that this time would be different.

“I’ll figure it out,” she said as she looked back up at you. That wasn’t a very reassuring answer, but for some reason that you couldn’t understand, she sounded so sure. Still, the resolve in you was slipping. Your head was spinning. You knew if you let her keep being so soft with you, so loving, you’d back out and say never mind to all of this, never mind to standing your ground and stopping the pain of being hidden by her. This wasn’t something you could say never mind to anymore.

“Jennifer,” You took a step back and let go of her hands. She watched with a pained look as your eyes started to brim with tears. “I need more than this.”

“I know, I know. And we can have more I promise, I just need-”

“No,” You interrupted. Your voice wasn’t loud, it wasn’t harsh. It was barely above a whisper even, but it was firm and it immediately made JJ snap her jaw shut as she waited for you to continue. “You’ve promised before. I… I think I need you to go.”

JJ just stood there for a moment as she watched you back up even further from her. The space you were taking from her was both literal and figurative as with each physical step you took it felt like you were trying to do the same emotionally. The pain in her eyes was twisting at your heart, but this needed to happen. And with each step your resolve grew a little more.

For a moment you both just stared at each other. The heavy silence in the room hung over you both with such a soul crushing heaviness. JJ could see you weren’t backing down, as much as it broke her heart. After a moment, she just nodded. You watched as she turned to leave without saying a word.

What killed you the most was the look of resolve JJ had in her eyes as she left you. Part of you hoped that look was a sign of determination to fix things. However, knowing JJ the way you did, it probably was her way of resolving to close herself off from you once and for all. Okay then, you thought, you could do the same.

That night you curled up in your bed alone, hugging your knees to your chest while you mourned the loss of your love. Tomorrow when you walked into the BAU it would be a new day, you’d pick yourself up and begin to heal.

——————————————

A week had gone by since that night. There were no calls from JJ since she walked out the door, no texts. There was radio silence. It was something that both hurt you to your very core and that you were unfortunately grateful for. If she had called you probably would’ve caved.

When you were at the BAU, she barely even looked your way. Luckily for you, you didn’t have to communicate with her as you helped close up the case you had been called in for. Any time you did catch a glimpse of her, it felt like you shattered into a million pieces all over again. Everything about your decision hurt, even if you knew it was the right one. These things take time right? Isn’t that what everyone says? So then why does it feel like you let your own world end right before your eyes.

But still, it’s been seven days and you haven’t caved yet. Yeah, JJ didn’t look at you, but you couldn’t help but steal painful glances at her. That was probably the only small backstep you’d ever let yourself take now. You couldn’t help it though, you were worried for her.

She did look better with each passing day. Physically though, not emotionally. When you did see JJ’s face, she looked exhausted. Like she hadn’t slept in days. Honestly she looked… like you. You wondered if she couldn’t sleep without you the same way you couldn’t sleep without her. It was something you needed to stop thinking about.

Despite all the pain and the inner battle to not go against your own promises, you were still able to hold strong. You worried for her so deeply and you ached to take her back, but you held your ground. At this point, you didn’t know what it would take to trust JJ’s words or what could possibly fix things. But you also thought JJ’s pride was hurt enough to never ask for you back either. You knew when you made this decision, if it was going to be over it would probably really be over.

So, when she tapped you on the shoulder while you were working with Penelope on learning some new tech, it really caught you off guard.

“Can we talk?” JJ looked at you anxiously as spoke. You were speechless for a moment, not sure how to respond. This should be about work, right? If she was asking right in front of Penelope, it had to be. But if it wasn’t, what would happen? Would you break and run back into her arms? There was a strong possibility you’d break all your new rules and do just that.

“Please?” She asked again. Penelope looked at you with a curious look and you realized the tension between you two was probably causing some suspicions to arise.

“Yeah,” you finally relented.

“Great,” JJ gave you a nervous nod. “Come with me?” She didn’t even wait for you to agree to that before spinning on her heel and leaving the room.

You tried to follow her as best you could, but it was like she was on a mission. Never had you felt so much nervous energy radiating off the blonde than you did right now. It was quickly putting you on edge too. Whatever her behavior was, you were really starting to think this wasn’t work related. You felt your stomach twist into anxious knots as you followed JJ to wherever she was going.

Soon, you realized she was taking you to her desk. A very public, professional space, you thought. The anxiety slightly dissipated, but when JJ shoved a small stack of papers in your hand it was quickly replaced with confusion.

“I need you to sign a couple things,” she said as she handed you a pen.

“What uh…” You scanned the page trying to make sense of what was in front of you. “What is all this?”

“Paperwork.” JJ was avoiding your eyes when you looked back up to give her a skeptical glare. You could see that much, but still when did she ever need you to do paperwork? That really wasn’t your part of the job.

When JJ realized you weren’t going to actually read any of it or sign anything until she explained more she let out a frustrated sigh. “It’s for HR,” She finally said.

HR? Your eyebrows shot up.

“It’s- Look I-” JJ was really struggling to find the right words. “I like to do things by the books. You need to sign that so we don’t get in trouble for… for being…”

She was still struggling and you just waited. Confusion still filled your mind. Was she trying to get you to sign stuff so that you wouldn’t report her for the things you two did behind closed doors? You hoped she would know you’d never do that to her, but then again this was JJ. She was always so cautious, so guarded.

JJ took a deep breath, trying to center herself before trying to speak again. Finally, you watched as her shoulders squared and she looked you dead in the eye. “I need you to sign those so that we can be a couple and do this right without getting in trouble.”

To say you looked shocked would’ve been an understatement. Your eyes went from her to the paper to her again. Did you hear her right? As if reading your mind, JJ took the papers in your hand, placing them down on her desk before taking your own hand into hers. You stared at the way her palm cradled your hand in the public space of the BAU with disbelief.

“Just hear me out for a second,” JJ started and you barely managed to tear your eyes away from the fact that she was actually holding your hand right now.

“Many of us,” JJ started, “have had close calls. We’ve seen the worst. We’ve lived through it. And all of us carry regrets.” JJ paused for a moment, taking another deep breath. “Now, when you’re faced with the worst, those regrets come to the surface. They play through your mind over and over again until you feel sick.”

JJ’s hand squeezed yours and you were yet again caught off guard by how raw and open JJ was being. Her eyes shined with the threat of tears and you barely saw her this vulnerable in private. Now you two were out in the open… Your eyes darted behind you to catch a glimpse of both Derek and Emily who just stood back in the corner of the large office space. There was no doubt in your mind that they weren’t hearing all of this. That little fact shocked you even more. JJ had to be aware that they were there, right?

“When I was held hostage last week, I never imagined that my biggest regret was that I didn’t kiss you before I left.” You let out a gasp as she continues. The words were finally in the air. If holding your hand in public hadn’t been obvious to everyone involved that there was something between you two then that really did. “And, I promise, if you let me, I will never let myself have that regret again. So, please… Please, let me?”

When you wondered before if there was anything JJ could do to get you back and make it up to you, never did you think she would do this. But goddamn was it the right fucking thing to do.

You bit your lip hard, trying your best to hold back tears. All you could do was fervently nod your head in agreement. You wanted to scream Yes! Yes 100 times yes! But the words weren’t able to come out. Not with JJ grabbing your face in a flash and pulling her lips to crash against yours.

Somewhere in the back of the room you could hear Derek cheer and if it were any other moment you’d roll your eyes at how cheesy and cliche this moment was. But right now you didn’t care. You kissed JJ back, trying with every fiber of your being to show her just how much you loved her and how badly you needed this exact moment.

You had no idea you were waiting for this moment since the minute she walked out of your apartment. Even more, you had no idea JJ was planning this moment since the minute you told her you needed more. God, but it was just what you both needed.

JJ pulled back from the kiss to press her forehead to yours, the palm of her hand caressing your cheek. Never had you felt so loved, especially in public, than in that very moment and it made your heart pound in your chest in the best possible way.

“Finally!” You heard Derek holler behind the two of you.

“You owe me fifty bucks,” You heard Rossi say from somewhere else in the room. “I told you they’d get it together eventually.”

“It’s not that I thought they wouldn’t,” Penelope argued from the same corner Rossi’s voice came from. “It’s just that I thought it would happen a lot later.”

You and JJ pulled back from each other, but not before JJ’s hands slipped back into yours. She gave you the brightest, most beautiful smile you had ever seen and as you stared up at her you thought, in this moment, you’ve never loved her more.

“I think it took me long enough. Don’t you?” JJ gave you a sheepish grin. “But I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

And you believed her. With everything in your heart, you believed her.

taglist: @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @high--power

Join the taglist here

#jennifer jareau x reader #jj x reader #jennifer jareau x you #jj x you #jennifer jareau #jj #criminal minds #jennifer jareau angst #wlw #fanfic #five-bi-five-mind

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agneswarda · 1 month

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golden girls is so amazing i even made a powerpoint

(I copy-pasted the main text under the cut. unfortunately, I can't find the time for a proper alt text. life is stressful rn)

-Picture it: Miami, late 80s/early 90s. four 60+ women

-living together.

-Sure, they talk a lot about (straight) sex

-but what we see on screen is their dynamic. Their deep friendship. Their love also they often act quite gay with eachother. amazing

-Did i mention they are old. They are old and deal with getting sick and aging. A lot.

-But their life isn‘t over. They might not be related. But they are family, and they are here for each other

-These four women are the Golden Girls.

-You are in for a treat. A 7 seasons 25 episodes long treat

Introducing the girls: Dorothy Zbornak

-not to be a lesbian but omg

-Tall soft butch

-quick-witted

-sarcastic

-her voice *swoons*

-would make numbers on tumblr

-> her idea of a good time is being Alone wiht a book in her room

-> Huge dorky nerd

- Being vulnerable is not her strength but when she is It‘s amazing. Soft. makes me cry

Introducing the girls: Blanche Devereaux

-slutty

-sexy

-selfish

-sensitive

-Sensual

-Did i mention slutty

-And proud of it

-All these things are her strenghts as well as her weaknesses

-She is actually quite complex

Introducing the girls: Rose Nylund

-Sweet

-Loving

-Kind

-caring

-Everyone says she‘s Dumb

-I think she might just Be neurodivergent?!??!!!! With her special interest

-Being St. Olaf

-The place she comes from

-Has amazing st olaf stories for everything

-Can also be a judgy bitch sometimes

Introducing the girls: Sophia Petrillo

-SHE WOULD MAKE NUMBERS ON TUMBLR

-„You're a funny little gnome, and we feed you too much.”

-This quote describes her perfectly

-It’s Dorothy who says it to her

-Who is incidentally her daughter

-Trickster energy

-Don‘t know if she is gay. But she commits crimes

-It‘s her way of dealing with old age

-And all the limitations it brings

-The show would just be half as funny without her

But op. Is it really this good. It‘s so old

I will admit: not everything aged well. Be also prepared for:

-it‘s v white. If they have characters of color, they sometimes work well. And sometimes it‘s embarassing to watch bc harmful stereotypes (not often but yeah. It happens.)

-Bodyshaming: the girls tease each other about their height, weight etc. and sometimes it can really become a lot/too much.

-Rose is so often the butt of the joke for not understanding situations. I think a lot of neurodivergent folks can relate. And it can hurt to hear the same old mean comments again and again

BUT

-This is a series which was never afraid of complicated topics

-First and foremost: the queer advocacy and topics were and still are amazing. The found family of it all alone.

-Also: death,being sick, being disabled. Getting old. Not performing the gender The way one would like to (anymore) (so. yes. Dysphoria. In a way). The financial aspect of it all. These are important topics which are treated with humor (of course) but also with respect

-it‘s a kind show which has its heart in the right place

-And i mean

-4 old women who are „just“ friends living together, supporting eachother?

-That shit is still revolutionary in the year of our lord 2024

So give it a chance!!!!11!!!!!111

#i did this instead of going to sleep :')#so honor my sacrifice by watching the show <3 #golden girls #dorothy zbornak #blanche devereaux #rose nylund #sophia petrillo #to watch #show recommendations #bea arthur #rue mcclanahan #betty white #estelle getty #television #80s tv #queer shows #queer icons #power point

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whysojiminimnida · 11 months

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Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

#oh shit here we go again #taennie #stan twt #cannes #taehyung #kim taehyung #jennie #meanwhile the jeon parks continue unabated but that's another thing #tae in paris #random troye sivan #cannes 2023 #yoongi the cat not the man #why the hell am i even here

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average-mako-enjoyer · 5 months

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Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons

I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.

Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.

I.E.(this list is going to be looong):

All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...

The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.

Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…

… so-called "gay button" into your games.

Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…

"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.

If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!

Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?

Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).

But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.

Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.

Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.

And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.

If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!

So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!

If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.

Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!

The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0

9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.

"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.

Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.

Mass Effect:

MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.

Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.

Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.

I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.

Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"

Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.

Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.

Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.

Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.

Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.

And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.

#mass effect #commander shepard #ashley williams #garrus vakarian #kaidan alenko #liara t'soni #tali'zorah #urdnot wrex #jeff moreau #headcanons #lgbtq headcanons #ranting #fuck bioware #my stuff #my thoughts

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glyhpsrfvckincol · 1 year

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Hi! Could you please do an Emperor Belos x reader where the reader and Belos used to be good friends in the human realm and When Belos and Caleb found the Demon Realm Reader tried looking for him but died in the process and somehow ended up in the Demon Realm? Then Belos found them and took them to the castle and helped them and then they kiss lol srry if this is long

History || Emperor Belos

Synopsis - Emperor Belos, who you once loved as Phillip, finds your corpse and restores you.

Warnings - Mentions of death. Old ass Belos. Cannibals.

A/n - I have a love-hate relationship with this dude.

Requests are opened; headcanons only

↳ Ahh, young love.

↳ Your families had betrothed you to one another, as he had been born only a month after you.

↳ Either that, or it’s childhood friends to lovers. Cause ✨ Gay ✨

↳ Despite that, you fell for one another by 15.

↳ You know that trope, “She fell first, but he fell harder”? Yeah, that’s you both.

↳ Philip, who you affectionately call ‘Pip’, discovered the demon realm while he, you and Caleb where off sneaking out of the village for a few hours.

↳ The 3 of you were famously known around the village for your reckless adventures. Many of these adventures had worked out in favour though, considering you had caught a few mountain lions heading towards your town and were able to warn the towns folk before any real harm could be done to gravesfield.

↳ You actually moved with them to gravesfield, as what had killed their parents was a mistimed house fire that took your parents as well.

↳ Being only the short age of 19, you decided that instead of messing with fate, you travelled back home, pretending as if you all had all been out picking berries.

↳ Or some bitch lame activity.

↳ But, as fate happens, Caleb came across the portal to the Demon realm again, and y’know what they say, right?

↳ Curiosity killed the cat.

↳ Philip finds out, mainly cause Caleb actually planned his trip by writing it down in his diary.

↳ Caleb had been missing for a few days and both of you were worried.

↳ So Philip actually informed the town that he was travelling into the Demon realm.

↳ You assumed you would be going with him. You were not.

↳ Let’s be honest, there is no way in hell he would let you go with him. He genuinely loves you bro.

↳ So, you begrudgingly stayed. Obviously not without him proposing, in secret as it is the early 1600’s, giving you a pretty ring.<3

↳ So, off he traveled into the demon realm, with the promise of coming back safely with his dear brother.

↳ You never saw him again.

↳ He had promised he would come back to you within weeks. You waited years. The ring he gave you remained on you finger, hoping he’d one day come back to finish the end of his promise.

↳ When you were nearly 30, you gave up waiting for him to come back, and instead searched for a way to get to him.

↳ The portal you had found with the Wittebane brothers had closed long before you had seeked it without them.

↳ So, instead you would search the forest in hopes you would stumble across a gate or door of some description by chance.

↳ That wasn’t where your luck was.

↳ You fell through the earth, which turned into sky and landed on hard, yet simultaneously soft rock.

↳ Though, you still broke a leg when you hit the ground.

↳ Bone poking through the leg.

↳ And unfortunately for you, barbaric witches could smell the blood from your fucked up leg.

↳ They ate you.

↳ They ate and left no crumbs bestie😔✊

↳ They buried what was left of you. Your clothes, bones, hair, 1 eyeball and your ring.

↳ And around 350-ish years later, a random coven scout, managed to find your remains.

↳ He was on a mission with the GG prior to Hunter, who was barely out of training.

↳ He pointed out the pile of bones and dirt covered clothes to him, and the GG recognised them as the love of Belos’ life, the one he had heard a few stories of.

↳ Belos talked about you so often, to all the previous Golden Guards with such details, it was no wonder the GG could recognise you. Belos also had a small painting of you, cause it was the 1600s when you knew each other.

↳ He also saw the similarities between the ring your finger held to Emperor Belos’.

↳ So, he ordered the other coven scouts that had been assigned on the mission to bring your bones back with them to the castle.

↳ During his mission report, he mentioned the pile of bones he had discovered. He also told Belos himself, figuring that if it were you, he’d want to know immediately.

↳ Belos had demanded to know where you had been placed, and sought you out the moment the GG told him.

↳ He too recognises you, noticing how you had been wearing one of your favourite outfits and the ring he had given you.

↳ And so, like he had done with his brother a multitude of times, he was gonna make a Grim Walker of you.

↳ Belos is a psycho, I don’t know what you expected. 🤷

↳ Belos gets to work immediately, and seeing as he has done this process several times before, he finished quickly and then just had to wait.

↳ Eventually you crawled from the dirt, around the age he had left you back in the human realm.

↳ Though all your memories of him or anything, weren’t existent.

↳ So you know the memory thing Luz and Willow did back in season 1? Yeah that, but to himself.

↳ Belos is a psycho but a psycho in love with you.

↳ He talked of all the memories you two had together, how you fell in love and when tragedy struck.

↳ But none of it worked.

↳ So he asked Collector to just restore your memories and fake ones of how you got to the Demon Relam

↳ Belos wanted to be your saviour, to be the one person you remember.

↳ He knew he’d have to be careful with how he treated you, worried that you’d remember how he had abandoned you and become cold to him.

↳ Belos only had these fears due to Caleb’s ghost constant remarks about how shitty Belos was for leaving you alone, filled with hope based on fake, empty promises.

↳ Belos kisses you when he sees a fit opportunity, which is a lot, scared that he’d have to restart the process of getting you to love and remember him again.

↳ Constantly bribes you with lavish gifts and promised riches.

↳ Also, a lot of gaslighting, he’s a tad bit very toxic.

↳ He loves you, he’s just incredibly mentally ill and hella misguided by 1600’ Orthodox Christian’s.

↳ Back when he was Phillip, he loved you in the way he thought he’d go crazy without you. But now, as Belos, you make him insane beyond all reasoning.

#the owl house #toh #toh belos #toh emperor belos #toh emperors coven #the owl house x reader #the owl house emperor belos #toh philip #toh phillip wittebane #toh belos x reader #toh emperor belos x reader #emperor belos x reader #belos x reader #philip x reader #philip wittebane #philip wittebane x reader #emperor belos

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